Ronnie
Appearances
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Well, you know that... I live in kind of the country. Well, not the country, but for me, it's kind of country-ish in Texas. And there's so much wildlife. And, you know, I go out there and talk to it. I have that peacock that comes to visit me every day. And he's getting so sweet. I call him Frank. I don't know what his real name is. But I go out there and I talk to him.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
And, you know, I have a little squirrel that I go out there and talk to and feed. I mean, I just love it. So I say, open the door. Let the bird in. It obviously wants to do something.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
You should have put a chicken bone. You know, like when you eat a chicken leg or something, you should have just hung a little bone there, like, warning.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Is your son's room poisonous? So we go back to this conversation with Portia, who does not want to be on the phone with her mother. I mean, just leave Portia alone. You know what I mean? I'm like, she's taken enough of your shit, Kyle. Just let her live her life. She goes to her dad's one night. You can't just fucking leave her alone. So Porsche was like, oh, my God.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Oh, Kyle, of course, is like, how's your Porsche Porsche? Because, you know, we bought that for you. So you better answer your fucking phone when I call.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
but anyway she gets her this car like oh my god you have a car now you can be independent and then of course that comes with now i get to guilt you because now you've taken your car and driven away from me so i'm gonna call and bother you for the rest of your life yeah exactly that's what i'm saying it's not fair so she like calls and reminds her do you remember the car i bought you can i come to lunch with you and your sisters and porch is like oh well i'm just supposed to be with my sister can i come i mean where are you going do you know where you're going like in case i want to come
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Kyle, if they wanted you to go, they would have told you. You're not invited. And then Kyle at least has the emotional intelligence to be like, I think that they want to talk about the divorce. They want to talk about your crazy ass and how they can block you while keeping their cars.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
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Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
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Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
No better way to do that than a nice new piece of beautiful furniture.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I just did my place all mid-century modern, and I got the most beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
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Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
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Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
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Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
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Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Saving is so, so important. You know, with everything going on in the world, you never know what's going to happen and you need to have your little nest egg going.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Head to acorns.com slash crappins or download the Acorns app to get started.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Investing involves risk. Acorn Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash cravens.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
These are exclusively built kid-free cruises, so no matter what you're looking for, you can get the type of experience you need most, all catered to adult tastes. I mean, we love our children.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
so then we see how depressed she is because she walks around with her tea or whatever her bowl of powder whatever she's doing so then she facetimes erica gerardi and just keeps posing herself in the in the facetime picture like to get the perfect pose and i just love when thin people are so insecure i mean this girl works out 20 times a day she looks amazing and even she's insecure so you know to all the t-shirt pullers out there you know you pull out your t-shirt to take a picture
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I felt validated. So thank you, Kyle. I'm a huge Kyle stan after this episode.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Oh, yeah. I'm telling you. Like, full Minty B. Okay. Is that like mental break? One time who has a dollar sign in her name and now Kyle's all street.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Please just stop. I'm shocked she hasn't said that yet, to be honest. Yeah, she will. We're a little behind, you know, but she will. I believe in her. So she's like, oh my God, in all my years, I've never treated like this. I've never felt this bad with a group of girls. Kyle, nobody did anything to you. They're asking you questions, you little weirdo. What are we, in a cult?
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
What are we, in a cult? You're the lady with the A-hats on everything.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I got questioned about memes. It's been terrible. So she's like literally insane. I've had my marriage question, my personal life question, and now my character, my integrity. Now you can all fuck off. That's why I draw the line. That is where I draw the line.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Do you remember when Erica was all depressed after Tom and she moved into her little hovel in West Hollywood? Her sad, sad little hovel. Her igloo. Her igloo. And the paparazzi was always out there taking pictures. And she just went out to try and get her Taco Bell delivery from DoorDash or whatever. And she just looked... Like hell.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I mean, you know, we've all had those days where we're depressed. But I love that that's how she always looks when she answers the phone. And it kind of makes me like Erica, that she's kind of one of us. You know, she's just, between the times that she has to be somewhere, she's just absolute trash. Like she's got a little crunchy tortilla supreme or whatever on her, on the corner of her mouth.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I mean, it makes me like her more. Because every time she answers in that dirty bathroom and she's just kind of lying in bed like, oh, God, why? Do I have to answer the phone? Liar, pretend you mean. Just pretend you mean.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Book now at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor. Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on your bravs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hi, Ben.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I like it because she's told Kyle 20 times she doesn't want to talk about it and Kyle won't stop talking about it.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
uh so kyle just sighs and then here i am alone again the sound of sidelines and a bird just like i feel like that bird if you really think about it it's probably like a carrier pigeon that kathy said she's like oh i think kyle would like this i'm gonna send a note with a carrier pigeon oh my god the bird's trying to get me So the bird is holding, like, a little scroll.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Kyle opens it, and it's a drawing of Kathy at lunch with her daughters. She's like, Norman! You haven't invited Kathy!
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I do feel like we've been robbed of Morgan Wade. I mean, she was really such a good character last year. I miss that. Hey, Kyle. How you doing, baby? Let's get tattooed together.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I like boiled shrimp. I like field trip. I like a field trip.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I just skinned a squirrel, Cal. So, Dorit goes to a restaurant called Cousette, which is beautiful, you know, and tragic, because Les Miserables. It's...
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Oh, yeah, yeah. I go there all the time. Yeah, I love it. That's where the Van Leeuwen's is.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Yeah, it's got the Air One. It's got the Sugarfish. And it's got a couple little stores, a candy store, one of those really fancy candy stores. It's got a Roberta's Pizza. Roberta's. I love Roberta's. Oh, my God. Amazing pizza. What bread? What crust?
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I mean, the chew, the crunch. God, Roberta's. God damn it, I love you, Roberta.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
How have I not passed that and been like, oh, my dear Cosette, I don't feel any pain. So, the bartender's like, hey, what do you typically lean towards? Light and fresh or heavier red? I'll just fucking pour it. Or typically lean towards.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Here's what I lean towards. Alcohol. Pour it. Okay? More alky, less talky.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
So she's like, hey, Brewski, should we talk about you first? And it's like, no, I couldn't. Let's talk about me last. PK, severe alcoholic, killing me. Let me tell you, a life with not only a moderate alcoholic, but a severe one. I just can't both. I really can't. What do I tell Jiggy?
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I'm holding up the walls. And she's like, Rose has become my ride to die. She's proven to be someone I can talk to. Doesn't talk back. Listens. Nods. It's all I really need. Coil! and Boze is like, well, I don't want to keep bringing up the Kyle thing, but what a bitch, am I right? So, listen, there's something that keeps bugging me about something that's being said. Tell me, Boze, tell me.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Well, you said that Kyle was one of the first people you told about your divorce, but then she keeps saying she doesn't even know you're having problems. What do you think about that one?
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
And so then we see a flashback where she opened it up to Kyle. And she's like, Piquet has been spending so much time in London. I just, I feel like we're not connected. I feel like my arms are up. There's a roof on it. I'm holding up the house, Kyle. And look, in Kyle's defense, because I'm a huge Kyle stan now, Kyle just doesn't listen to anything. And we've known that for years.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Remember when she didn't know who Nanny Kay was? Lex was like, I've been raised by Nanny Kay. Nanny Kay, basically my mother. Nanny Kay died. Who's that?
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Can I tell you, Bo's coming for Kyle in season one is... So nice. It feels great. It really is nice. And so she's like, well, the day Piquet and I decided to separate, there was a room, there were walls, there were my arms holding up a roof. And under that roof was Piquet, his sponsor, which is a bag of Pringles, and me. And that bag of Pringles said, we're getting separated.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
It's that kind of morning. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. We're so excited. We're both doing the show from New York City in our beautiful hotel rooms. And we are going to be doing the crappy awards this Saturday at the Town Hall on Broadway. We're so excited. We're having so much fun putting it together.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I'd never even known before that Pringle told me.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
So she's like, I don't know if it's the sponsor's fault for making PK leave me, or if PK came up with that idea himself. Okay, don't blame the sponsor. And this happens when people start slowing down on the drinking. All the friends are like, you know what happened? Yeah. Everything went to shit because you got sober.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
You've ruined my life. You and your sponsor. That little monster.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
The sponsor should not be living your life for you. The sponsor should not be breaking up with your wife for you. That's crazy.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Yeah. Like a therapist or something, but a fucking sponsor. Hell no. If, if my husband broke up with me in front of a sponsor, I would kill him right there. And the sponsor, I'd kill them both. I'd choke those wrinkles.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
You know, we love our FabFitFun over here. I'd do it. Now, if I got broken up with by a FabFitFun box, I'd take it. I'd be like, oh my God, is this a cinnamon candle? Okay, you can go. You can go. Thanks for all the great years. I love the scarf.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Well, I'd like a fab fit fun box, too. I'm the influencer in the... I got you a fab fit fun box. Open it up. All right. Divorce papers? That's right.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I don't know how this learning lines thing is going to go, but hey, we're going to roll with it. And you can get streaming tickets for that. It's almost sold out. I mean, it's basically sold out. There's like 20 tickets left. So if you can't get tickets, stream it, okay? It's going to be streamable. You can get the links over on watchwhathappens.com.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
So Bozo's like, ah, what a burden for you to absorb, put up with, defend all the things going on, and him, for that to be the payback. I spent all these years protecting you, pretending for you, and now you want to tell me we should take some time apart? Give me back all those years. How about that? Give me back all those years. Now, that's who you want there when you're getting a separation.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I want those to do it for me. You want that person to do that. Listen, I've had it with you. I've added up your hours. They've barely come to 40. And what are you doing? Out there taking a cigarette break? We're done. This marriage is over. I've come up with paperclips. I've come up with folderclips. I'm trying to think of things that she could have marketed and I'm really failing.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Paper clips and folder clips. What even is a folder clip?
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
And, yeah, and Sutton's like, wow, wow. Has asked us to dinner. But it's not all of us. It's just me, Garcelle, Air, Aka. And then we see the flashback of her doing that. You know what she's doing? She's rallying her troops. She's going to make us feel sorry for her so that we stick on her side.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I love Sutton's just burning it all down this season, because they show in the preview of coming up. And Sutton just becomes the ultimate villain of the season. And I love it. I feel like that's her rightful place.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
We're also going to be on Watch What Happens Live Thursday night as bartenders with Miss Patricia. Go Madison. Austin. Damn it. Madison. Austin from Southern Charm. So that should be fun times. We're excited to do that. And also we're on tour next week. We're going to be in Salt Lake City and Denver and we have.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I just love it. The way her eyes flash when she changes her, you know, when she starts getting mad about something or she gets defensive, her eyes literally glaze over and they just go into that little squint. And I'm like, oh, little laser, little Sutton laser is going to come out of there and get you. They're going to get you.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
So she's like, Garcelle's like, well, every time we talk about the text, she's just so riled up about it. I mean, how do you think Erica feels about this?
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Yeah. So Kyle does what she does best to make herself feel comfortable. She goes to a place that's decorated like Lisa Vanderpump's living room. And it's this place with just giant pink flowers hanging everywhere because that's Kyle's thing. And so they go to the restaurant and she orders an oat milk vanilla latte. I don't know why that's important to me, but you know what? I'm over oat milk.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I've just had it. I'm back to just regular milk. I've had it. I'm sick of trying to pretend that this is all great.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
That's what I don't like, is the ice cream. I do like the oat milk and cereal. It's really good with Fruity Pebbles. I mean, here's my thing. I'm sick of substituting things I don't need to. You know what I mean? I'm fine with half and half. I like half and half. It's the creamiest. Like, why am I trying to have something to compete with half and half? You can't beat half and half.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I mean, if it's a street fight, half and half is going to kick oatmeal's ass. No, oatmeal, oat milk.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I love butter. I mean, butter makes everything good, right? I feel like butter is like the perfect thing to date. It makes everything taste good. It stays hard. And then it gets soft when you're done with it. And then otherwise, I mean, it just makes everything taste delicious. It can make meat taste good. It can make vegetables taste good. It's good on its own if you're drunk.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
No, I guess I should have guessed that since we were talking about half and half. But no, I do see that. And it's also compromise, because half and half. It's not full heavy cream, but all compromise, which is what relationships are about, which is why I'm not in one. I'm a heavy cream kind of a bitch.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
a ton of cities coming up so go to watch what crappens.com to get your tickets that's also where you'll find patreon links for patriot uh for traders recaps and guess what else for video which we're on right now you can see our faces uh so thank you everybody um
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
So Garcelle comes in and like the true hero she is at lunch is like, I'll have a kettle one martini. Don't fucking argue with me. Just bring it. I have to deal with Kyle. All right. So Kyle's like, well, hold on. I'm better than the last time you saw me. You know, I just have so much going on. My kids have left me. There was a bird that was hanging out with me, but even he left or died.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I'm not really sure. He kept banging his head against the window, but it's just been so hard. It's a French door.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
She's like, I don't like that. You know, Bose was questioning me. And then Sutton was questioning me. And then I have to show a text to everyone. And then Erica was like, hold on a minute. And then, you know, Garcelle went to Bose the day after Chuck E. Cheese. And I was like, you mean, I mean, you don't even know her. You don't even know her. Why would you go to her house?
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
You literally said the same thing. I mean, I thought she was going to be a little bit more subtle in the rallying the troops thing. But she's literally like, why would you go to her house?
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
really like weighed down with so much yeah you know uh garcelle's like well i don't feel like me sharing that information was a violation to kyle or a betrayal to kyle kyle at chucky cheese read the text aloud and that's a sentence i never thought i'd say but here we are and let me just add something wow Wow.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
And Garcelle's like, just admit you talk a little shit with PK. And it's normal. That's what we do. And she's like, but I don't. I really don't. I really don't. And you can tell because I'm not licking the corners of my mouth. Right?
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Garcelle is just going to tell you the truth. And Kyle, she doesn't know what to do because she's used to being surrounded by people who just let her go with her bullshit. And this is the first time that anybody's like, no, Kyle, you're ridiculous. Like, no, Kyle. The first season, I love it.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
But then, of course, today, she's like, well, of course we have more than memes and jokes. Of course we do. She's like, okay, Kyle. So Kyle's like, well, you know, anyway, I thought to myself, like, I've been scrutinized. My marriage scrutinized. My sexuality scrutinized. You know, like, everything, like, scrutinized. Like, my character. Like, is this a cult? Is this a cult?
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
wow it's like i'm watching the denise richard storyline all over again i totally feel bad for her so garcelle oh and this was so good when they showed that because she's like why are you so triggered kyle and she's like i would never do anything like that you know but i was like i've been a good fucking friend of you and that's why i don't appreciate the accusation you know like it's not helping it's not helping us and then the editors gave us something they've never given us
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Which is a Kyle is guilty scene. It's so good.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
The hypocrite montage. So then we see 2020 when they're grilling Denise Richards about potentially hooking up with Brandi Glanville, which was also questioning someone's sexuality, you know, and Denise is He's like, every single dinner, I have been on the receiving end of what feels like being attacked. God, I miss Denise Richards' sentence structure.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
And Kyle's like, well, when things are brought out in the open, they're out there. They have to be addressed in this group. And that's just it.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
And 2022 said, I'm not playing the victim. She's like, I'm just talking about being more honest in the group, okay? Open, honest, open, honest, open, honest, open, honest.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
It was beautiful. So beautiful. Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C, Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Hava Nagila Weber. Know your worth with Jason Kerr.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. Give him hell, Miss Noel. Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I thought that was really good. I loved it. I was so proud of Kyle, oddly enough, for like not freaking out and crying. Although I did miss it because I'm loving Kyle's just descent into madness. I love when Kyle is just a crying temper tantrum throwing mess. It's like my favorite version of Kyle. So I was kind of sad to see her grow up a little bit, but I thought it was nice.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I mean, all those people drove to Ventura County. Nobody complained about how long it took. I thought that was nice. That's very rare in a group of LA people. I mean, Ben comes to the Valley to have sushi and I hear about it for a week. You do.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
or if she actually worked for that her entire life.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I hope they give us a slow motion tour of this house because we have not seen it. That said, gorgeous place. It's so nice. And she should be proud. You know, that's an amazing accomplishment. I want that house. What am I not doing?
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Here's a flash, a very flashy slow motion shot of Robert Goulet's butt. toilet or like butt bidet or whatever it is on that show the golden day you know for robert the goulay bidet they're always like robert goulay style you know uh so we open this one uh with this is episode nine for those of you counting we open this one with a trixie monocle song and she's like but
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I want to see the sun come up. Some people wait their entire lives for a chance at a life like mine. We only get one and I'm doing it right. Some people wait their entire life. I was like, she must be on the drive to Ventura County because this is someone who's waiting in traffic, the sun. I've been waiting my entire life to find the exit.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
It's a depressing song, but also it's like girl pop, but it's like, girl, get out of bed. You know, I got the whole thing is just like, well, I live another day. I love my life. I could be dead any moment. I love my life.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Are you in jail? Are you like in a hole in prison? You know, like what's happening? I know, we speak with sun privilege right now. Actually, they left, they came to turn down my room last night and they closed the blinds in here and I didn't know. And it was completely dark. And I was like, is the world over? I woke up like, has it finally happened?
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Because I've watched so many end of the world things that everything, it's like the city's on fire. This place is, you know, every bad news that happens, I'm like, okay, well, I guess now's the time. You know, I just kind of brush my teeth because I don't want to get to heaven with dirty teeth, you know? No. And it turns out they just closed the blinds. I had a very depressing morning.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
So actually, the song is speaking to me. I just want to see the sun come up. I was like, just one more time. Please let me do Watch What Happens Live before you take away the sun.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I think it's just in your head. It is what they're doing with Kyle. I mean, every time they show Kyle, they're like, poor Kyle. Kyle's family isn't at home anymore. Like, I get that that can be a sad thing. I'm not taking away from that, but... She still has like a huge family. Like she's on the phone with her kids all day, every day. And she's like, look at me, nothing to do.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I'll go on DM and find someone else to date. You know, you've like, be quiet, Kyle. I can't, I can't.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Call Jamie Lee Curtis. You know what I mean? Yeah, pick up the acting. And the way they do it, too. I'm like, has this family been kidnapped? Are they being held ransom? They just show these slow pictures of Mauricio always looking so vacant. You know, I've never seen somebody take pictures looking so vacant so consistently.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Every time they show a picture of Mauricio, he's just like, uh... Uh... Vacancy is kind of his job, though.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
It's called real estate. Slow pictures and it's like this whole family gone. Kyle only gets to cook dinner for this family five nights a week now instead of seven.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
i think i think a couple of them have moved i think only porsche lives at home right i don't know like i get the loneliness thing but as someone who spends a lot of time alone like unless you're finding an eminem in your belly button and being like was this from last week i'm gonna eat it anyway i don't want to hear from you you know what i mean like you you haven't really suffered like the rest of us
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Well, it's good because whenever your car's broken, you know, you have a AAA to come.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I want my flaps fixed for free. By the way, guys, in case you're wondering about the humor today, it's not going to get better than this. Okay. So, yeah, we see the sad family. Like, they've all been kidnapped. And then Kyle's like, hey, Siri. And Siri's like, please stop talking to me. She's like, Siri. Because, you know, they added this new, like, Apple intelligence to the phone.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
And she's sassier now. She's just like, you know what? I don't like you. Okay, I'll only answer if you stop crying.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
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Watch What Crappens
#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I'm so glad my mom doesn't have my name in the phone like Kyle does, like with the label. Because Kyle is like, hey, could you call Portia my love bug? Oh, my God. Mine would be like, call Ronnie that ungrateful little asshole. You know? I don't want to hear it. Call Ronnie the calorie consumer.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I thought dad had a stroke or something overnight, but it turns out it was just his regular resting face. And then Kyle's like, you know, the thing about having a big family is that there's always somebody home. But nowadays, there's just so many days where I'm alone at home all by myself. And then we just see a montage of Kyle doing things alone, like moving a chair that time. Remember?
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
It was a big scene. I'm glad they threw it back to that.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
It's a Vanderpump fan. The bird's just like, I'm going to get this bitch.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
And why are you so depressed that you're trying to fly into Kyle's house of all houses, you know? Oh, God.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
It's got terrible wicker baskets. So, uh, or bad closet organized. I mean, you remember when she was like, Oh my God, they did my closet. And we walked in and they were all like target target shelving.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
This is my favorite kind of episode where not much happens and we just talk about Faye's wicker baskets.
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#2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me
Here's who I feel bad for, the bird. Why isn't she going out there and trying to help the bird? Literally, the bird just keeps banging up against the window. Like, the bird is trying to harm itself. Go help it. Go talk to the bird.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Hi, everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
Yeah, she's been... That was weird, right? I was like, were you brushing? Maybe she was doing charcoal? Maybe she was doing that, like, charcoal thing. Yeah. That's what I was wondering. Yeah.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
You didn't have any problems with Rinna. I mean, look, Rinna was like probably one of the least sincere people, right? Like, how are you? So good to see you, you know?
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
Yeah, that's a good one. So then Sun's avoiding going to the table. So she's loitering at a vendor. And the vendor's like, here's some sexy oil for the bedroom. She's like, I think I'm good. I don't want to put a lot of oil on me. You know what? I just realized I think I'd rather sit at a table with these women than talk to all these poor people selling trinkets. So goodbye, sir.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
So Sutton's like, back at the chocolatier, Sutton's like, I've had to have a come to Jesus moment. With who? Yourself? Yes. Me and Jesus. And guess what? Jesus pummeled me. That's it. And I had to say, look, this is hard. I had to remember that both of those girls have gone through right now. And then I have to look at where I am in my life.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
A lady who has a tiny boutique that may or may not be open somewhere in West Hollywood. And that must be hard for them to look at.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
what would they name one thing she's like oh yeah i'm done with this conversation i just think the allegiance from kyle goes to those two and always will to be honest so it's like yeah you you see it sudden so stop chasing it you know where kyle's loyalties are and just what you have to do is have a moment where you say fuck this bitch fuck this fake bitch who acts like she's gonna have my back and she never does at the end of the day she's always going to be
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
I mean, I've never seen that happen. I'm not even sure if it was an ass clap. I mean, it was just kind of like she was just doing weird squats or something like that. Yeah, she did some squats. It was just like an up and down. It wasn't really a twerk. It was more like a blurk. It was just, it was not good.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
So, Bose is saying that they're celebrating Carnival tonight, you know, because it's such a huge thing in the Caribbean and beyond. And so, they're just going to celebrate it. And so, they're all putting on different outfits and different levels of undress, depending on how comfortable they are. So, Erica was basically wearing bare minimum, and she looked fucking amazing.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And then Kathy was funny, because she basically had like a caftan on, but she had her wings on at the same time. But it all worked. It actually was all kind of great. But they all didn't...
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
you know, the producers were like, we're never doing this again. We cannot get good shots. Cause they couldn't shoot through, through people's shoulders. They just had to stick a camera at the one end of the table and just like hope for the best. You know, it was amazing. Oh yeah.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
So the Rockefellers are anti-carnival or something. Yeah. There was something sort of, there was a, there was a, there was a subtext there that I think that maybe we all picked up on. Right. Yeah. Or like they, do they shoot birds? I mean, what's their deal? I'm not sure. So I'm still, by the way, I'm still scrolling through so much of this Feather shit.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
So Kathy gets her ice and then they're all sitting there and they're like talking. It's like, it gets like quiet at the table. It's awkward, you know? They're all staring at Sutton.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
No. And then Erica's like, but because of our history, because I want to sincerely move on, and I believe you do too, because Erica's doing the intense articulation. I believe you do too. You want to move on as well. So it's like, yes, I do want to move on from this table. All these feathers are very agitating to me.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
It's not that big of a deal. But also, why is Erica being so aggro about this point? Why doesn't she just sit there and say, listen, I want to talk about yesterday. I know that some of you believe that what Dorit and I did was a coordinated attack. I know it may have looked like that. And I just want to let you know it was not coordinated.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And even if it were coordinated, I wouldn't even be embarrassed about it being coordinated because we both feel the same way about the same thing. And it's okay for two people to feel the same way.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
Fuck off, Sutton. Sutton's not a good friend. I'm sorry. It is kind of wild that they would not show a whole scene with Erica and Sutton because they had a huge fight. And clearly this was maybe a moment to make amends. And they just... only shows a clip of it in the flashback. It's a little odd. So Erica's like, listen, I don't care where it came from. I don't care how it resolves.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
My Ted talk is over. Gosh. So Garcelle's like, well, let me just say this. Erica Jane, you and I are building our friendship and I appreciate it. And we've come a long way. And you said, you don't believe, you don't believe it, but we have. And Garcelle's basically saying how she's trying to focus on having better relationships with these women.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And obviously that doesn't really work out because she's like, bye, leaving the show.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
so boze is so proud and uh she's like i feel like we're about to take wedding vows haha and erica's like clearly i'm not ever doing that again i love you but now listen is this a toxic sisterhood yes but at the end of the day we can come together we can have laughs we can be silly and support each other no matter what and then we can also realize because it is a toxic sisterhood why the are we here goodbye everyone goodbye america i'm out
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
and i love you guys it's just all like so happy and sisterhood and so here are the exciting things happening in people's lives garcelle continues to call the shots on her sets but her favorite new role is grandma to oliver's new daughter valley which why you know what I just feel like Valley is a curious name. Like, you know, you know, the phrase peaks and valleys. Yeah.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
You know, it's like you're a better part of that phrase is. Have you been to?
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
Bose. Over the last year, I've found a lot about myself. How to navigate outside the corporate world and outside the corporate rules and how to deal with an assistant who loves to bedazzle everything in sight. These groups of women are interesting individually and friends I'm excited to get to know better.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
Yeah. Great. Sounds great. Hey, I've learned something. I've learned that I can be kind of a jerk. I can be a better friend, a better daughter, change anything from this year. It would probably be, if I would change anything, it'd probably be my relationship with Dorit. I wish I'd handled it better as in, I wish I'd called her a fucking bitch instead of just a bitch.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And then a cute waiter comes to take their orders. And then Kyle's like, oh my God, Garcelle, you're like, hi, what can I order? Your eyes were like... So they're like laughing at Garcelle. And Garcelle's like, look, my dating life is... I'm not on the apps.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
When I get home, I just know I have so many. I have to have a conversation with Mauricio and decisions will have to be made. And if I'm not going to be married to Mauricio, I have to have a great life with someone. I don't know who it is, but I'm going to stand in the wings of a concert until I figure out who that lucky person is.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And then we have Dorit's big wrap-up. Dorit, take it away.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
Dorit and PK currently have no plans to rekindle their relationship, but they are working on co-parenting better. And Dorit is considering filtering PK's emails to her junk folder. That was a nice season finale. And then it goes one month later. I'm like, what? That's how we roll now. We can't just pick it up the cameras. So now we have the most. Listen.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
I enjoy picking up the cameras when there's a real scandal, but now this is not a pick up the cameras moment. This is something that can be covered in the reunion. So one month later, so Garcelle, actually, I'm glad that this happened because something very great happened. So first we see Garcelle with Oliver and the kids, who cares? And then we see Bose doing yoga, who cares?
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And then most importantly, Sutton goes into her backyard and there is a dead rat lying by her pool in the most dead rat position on its back. Like, oh, and she's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And the dogs are just up there sniffing it and she's like, no, no, no, no, no. Just seeing Sutton having to interface with a dead rat is so amazing. I was like, okay, it was all worth it.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
I never saw this coming. Really? Do you not read articles or see headlines for four years? Or check your own docket of lawsuits, you fucking weirdo. I mean, I'm assuming she meant, like, previously in her relationship. She goes, Tom was loved. He was admired. All the judges paid for his meals.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
If I meet someone through a friend or at Whole Foods or outside my house in Oxnard, which I don't know if you know this, I built a house in Oxnard. You know, I'm open. If he's cute enough, I may have a little fun. But if he's not cute, I'll just have to say...
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
That's great. So cool. So Kyle says that Erica has proven to be a loyal friend time and time again. So Kyle is saying, I knew this would be a hard day for Erica. And, you know, as soon as I heard about this, you were the first person I thought of. It's like, really? When you heard about Erica's husband going to jail, you thought about Erica? Wow. The way your mind works.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
I wish I could get a tour of it. It's just amazing.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
She just can't do it. Can't. It's like, actually, it winds up being a deeply uninteresting scene. She's like, my drink and my medication. It was all this pressure.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
That's not my soulmate. You need someone who knows that shop for you. So Kathy excuses herself to go to the bathroom and then it's just more awkward silence. And then Kathy comes back and now she's in like a little dress. She goes, everyone, I have a little secret. I tinkled in my shorts. They're like, what? Yeah, I tinkled. Tinkled in the shorts.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
Yeah, she's good at them. She should lean into that more, because that's her most enduring side, is when she does imitations. Yeah, she does good ones.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And then Jennifer Chili starts doing something.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And Dorit's like, ooh, I spent a long time thinking about this. She's trying to do her southern accent overlaid over her pan-European accent that she has.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And then Kyle's like, Sutton is really bringing such a negative energy to this. It's like Dorit and Erica's birthday. Hopefully we can ignore Sutton in the corner and just enjoy ourselves. But once again, Sutton wants to make this all about her. I'm like, well, because they're mocking her. Yeah.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
So then Sutton could always lighten up. Let's be honest. It's not just at this table. But then we wouldn't have the Sutton that we know and love. Yeah.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
Sutton, you're going to lose me now. But she just doesn't want the cake because she's protesting. She doesn't want to contribute to the celebration of these two women that she hates. So Bo's saying that there'll be some activities tomorrow, et cetera. And they all pretty much just get up and go. And Sutton's like, I did the boat. I showed up for the dinner. I got made fun of. I've had enough.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
They just like to kick me down or up. I'm being kicked by these women. That's fucking bullshit. Which is funny because she's basically taking Erica's criticism of Sutton and now applying it to them.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
So then they all start to gather around. They're doing some more shopping and stuff.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
I know. Like, well, you better not lose it. She's like, oh, this thing, this is a cheapo. Um, so then, uh, over Kathy and Kyle's villa, Kathy is, um, you know, she greets the resort staff as they bring in breakfast and everything. And then, um, we see, but both button, but it wasn't Sutton button. They arrive at it.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
They go to a chocolatier, because this is going to be an attempt to bond a little bit. Because Boaz is saying how, you know, she, like, Sutton always thinks, there's always distance between them. And she's like, I do believe that Sutton has made a narrative in her head that I am Team Dorit and nobody else. When the truth is, I'm Team Dorit And now a little bit Tim Kyle, but mainly Dorit.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
So she's a little bit incorrect there.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And Kyle is like horrified that anyone ordered this amount of food on this show. So Garcelle's like, well, Kyle, have you posted your thirst trap yet? From Oregon. There, I said it. She's like, no, no, I'm not feeling that thirsty right now.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
I'd be dumb enough to hang out with you idiots. Then Kyle goes up to Boze and she's like, are you okay? She's like, I cannot with that situation. She can't hear any form of criticism, says Kyle Richards. Well, so what does she want to do? Does she just want to pretend like nothing happened? That's going to be very awkward, isn't it?
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And Kyle's like, well, last night was really interesting. And Garcelle's like, well, should we start off in the sweet? She's like, well, first of all, we're all the closest to Sutton and we love her so much. Guys, don't we love her? I have to say, I love Sutton so much. So now everything I say going forward comes from a place of love automatically. Okay.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
But like, I need you guys to be open-minded that she's a fucking bitch and she's awful. And she's like really needy and she's stupid and no one likes her. but I love her so much.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
I've been on this show for five years and I still can't figure it out. She's like, but I mean, like none of us said anything. Like, why am I being singled out here? Like, my God. She's like, well, I think when you don't do it, it hurts more. But why? I don't know. It's a question for Sutton. It literally makes no sense. I mean, look, Jennifer is an Oscar nominee, which is pretty, pretty cool.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And she's also incredibly wealthy and I'm famous in my own right. And still that's not enough for Sutton. So we don't get it. And honestly, at this point, we don't care.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
Well, I don't see the benefit of rushing to get a divorce, at least not before The Knot decides to run a cover story on us again. And Garcelle's like, well, you're not even rushing to get any information at all? Like, what information? Like, where do I start? Like, all that stuff.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
So brilliant. So amazing. You know, some people are like, well, now that Garcelle's leaving, make Jennifer full-time. But... And then I saw someone else on Twitter say, don't make her full time because Jennifer's position is friend of as someone who's outside and comes in and makes commentary and then drops moments like this is perfect. And I fully agree. I don't want Jennifer.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
I don't want a situation where Jennifer, we may have to comment about Jennifer's life being boring, or I don't want to have to be in a situation where people are ganging up on Jennifer. She has a bad season. I love Jennifer as, as she is. And I just want to preserve her in this state.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
If we all are just sitting around pretending nothing is the matter, how are we supposed to have fun with that? I mean, the only thing that could be more awkward would be if we all put on enormous wings and had to sit around a tiny table together.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
That's true. But, um, and also, you know, she's too popular for Kyle and the group not to turn on her.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And she said that literally in your accent, your Dorit accent. She was literally like, definitely not. I was like, wow, she's been listening.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
Well, you know what? I heard what those women said. Oh, with no agreement or disagreement? You just heard? We've had a lot of discussions. You know, Eric and I have been really getting along, and she showed no animosity to me, and it seemed to come out of nowhere. Oh, really? Because she said it to me before. And then we see flashbacks. Like, oh, no, she's been talking about you this whole season.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
Yeah, she's been talking shit about you behind your back. And we see footage of that, you know, flashbacks, etc. So Boze is like, so I thought it was actually maybe good that she said it out loud. Oh, well, that's great. I'm glad she could get it out. I thought about what she said. And I also thought Erica herself was down.
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#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies
And Dorit and Kyle did the same thing that I did and asked questions, the exact same thing. And their husbands even made fun of Erica. And then we see flashbacks to that scene where Mauricio and Mo are making fun of Erica. Yeah. That there was no repercussions.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Erica just here to remind us that she's been to every sea in the world, you know, on poor people's backs.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
So it's been a great trip around the world. So she's swimming in the water and, uh, Bose and Garcelle are talking and, uh, Garcelle's like, well, she looks beautiful, but who's going in if somebody, somebody pulls her under, you know?
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
So Kyle is now swimming with her, and Dorit's standing on the little boat dock doing that, like, I'm just a Goyle. How am I supposed to be expected to swim? It's terrifying.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
But she does. She does a very poor dive into the water. And then Kyle's like, oh my God, I'm not even going to buy you a Birkin if you get in. Reference to a great season.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
She's like, thanks a lot, Jennifer.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Kathy's iconic moment today, just from a Breathless Gay point of view, Kathy eats Cheetos. Oh, my God. Tell your friends about it. They're like, close up on those Cheetos. We need America to know that Kathy eats Cheetos. So she's just walking around eating her Cheetos.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
One of my favorite things about this episode is they keep saying things like, well, it was a rough day. And then it just keeps cutting back to Sutton going, what do you fucking want from me?
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
What do you want? Sutton losing it. So yeah, they're going to go basically street shopping. So she's like, I want to reflect the energy of St. Lucia. So then we go to get Sutton's hair done and she's with Jennifer and she's like,
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
And she's like, well, as long as I can stay away from those two, those two people. I think I'm a terrible person, which I'm not. I'll be fine. I just wanted, I just wanted to restate that I'm not a terrible person. Sutton, you were so immature. It's painful to watch Sutton. I love it. I love when Sutton's unhinged because there's nobody in their right mind who can stick up for Sutton, you know?
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
And that's almost why you gotta love Sutton. She's just so helplessly awful. Yeah.
Watch What Crappens
#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Let's repeat history. Come buy a lot of alcohol, but let's not find any murderers. Hopefully. No murderers welcome. So that should be super fun. Also, we're doing White Lotus recaps over on Patreon. We did a catch-up just for the past six episodes, but then we're going to do recaps for episodes seven and eight. So join Patreon for that. It's also where you get video recaps like this one.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
She's just so immature. And you know, it's like when there's a baby on the plane, you know, nobody wants a baby on the plane. And then inevitably the baby starts crying and you see people turn around and give a dirty look to the baby. And you're like, God, I want that to be me. I want to turn around and give a dirty look to the baby. But ultimately you have to blame the mom.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
So I say, let's just bring Reba to the reunion and let's excoriate her. This is a case where I just find Sutton to be a cat-eyed, evil little baby, you know, where she just hasn't matured to the point where I can blame her yet.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
i am going to squint at you i am going to squint i'm not going to say anything i'm just going to squint but at about you know 50 years and 300 million dollars you would have been like oh my god you are iconic you'd have been like filming yes she's just too young to act like this she hasn't earned her bad behavior but once she does you haven't earned this yet ma'am okay yeah exactly you're just a three-year-old
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
okay erica you want an apology you're not going to get a fucking apology your news story was everywhere they had to bring it up nobody else had the guts yes and she brought it up period that's the end and guess what you handled it terribly and you look like a fucking asshole and the only reason you've had a good this a good season this year is because you shut your mouth and now you're ruining it all at the end no one feels for you erica okay nobody
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Hi, we're on video. You might see me throwing my throat directly to the camera to show off my beautiful strep throat, which I've... proudly received, probably from hugging one of you fuckers at these meet and greets. I can't believe you're recording today with a stripped throat. That's wild. I actually dedicate you to the craft.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
she certainly did not like it when people were asking her questions about something that was happening that was very much in her life and needed to be addressed and um yeah it was just all and the other ones did ask her i mean dory and kyle did get their licks in there but erica who doesn't go to that because they still are part of that final the final five the fox force five or whatever you know so that's they're still writing that
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
So they don't like to call it. We planned it. Like they didn't say, okay, you say this and then I'm going to say this, but they did sit down and they were like, fuck that chick. She can do whatever she wants. Why should, I mean, they talked about it and then they went and did it. So I don't understand what the big accusation is. That's so offensive to Erica later on in the episode, you know, now,
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
I think in both situations, it's natural to talk to your friends about who you're pissed off about. And then yes.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
What do you think of that? And she's like, well, you know, we had a really good weekend in Augusta. You remember she ate a carb. She ate a carb for me in that restaurant. She didn't have to do that. I thought we were going to be best friends forever, you know?
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
I'm surprised it doesn't hurt more to talk because it hurts like F to swallow. Oh my God. Knives, knives, knives.
Watch What Crappens
#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
in every clip it was fantastic be quiet miss small town i'm worried about my motherfucking reputation you shut up and erica gets into her diction you know yeah you have no idea what you're talking about yeah you talk out of both sides of your mouth too you know what fuck you
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Yeah, it's very good. So then Garcelle's like, you know, but when she's angry, she feels like she's being cornered. And I just needed another montage of Sutton literally in the corner being like, name him, name him, name him, name him, name him, name him, name him, name him. So Jennifer comes in to talk to Garcelle and she's like, what happened?
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
And she's like, oh, we just talked about the boat, you know, and how Kyle's not supporting her. Like she supports Kyle. I mean, I don't know where that came up. Maybe one of the makeup people said it. I don't remember. Oh, hold on. Do you have... Just let me leave a voice message for Sutton really quick. Hi, Sutton. I just wanted to send you my support while you're getting your makeup on.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
And just wanted to note that Kyle's not supporting you right now as you get your makeup done. Thank you. Thank you.
Watch What Crappens
#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
And she's like, duh. So then Garcelle's saying, you know, she'd rather be loyal to Erica and Dorit before she is to Sutton, but Sutton refuses to see that Kyle is this way.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Well, you know what is helping? Ice cream. Good old-fashioned Creamy Creations by HEB. But, you know, I'm going to end up maybe feeling a little bit better for five minutes, but with a bigger muffin top. But guess what? Worth it. Worth it. Worth every calorie. Creamy Creations. Okay, so let's get to it. We are on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season finale. Wow.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
It's her reaction to everything that's a problem. I mean, Sutton could handle these people so easily if she was just like, you know, look how... Jennifer Tilly handles it later. She just handles Erica fine. And Erica was thinking she's having like a big dynasty moment. Like now who said it? You or you?
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Yeah, it's like, fuck that. She goes, yeah, you know, well, Garcelle and Sutton are both her closest friends and they just stick up for her. So, I mean, what do you want? What do you want? You guys are so close and you stay quiet, but it's on me? Come on, it's a joke. Let's go to dinner. I'm done with this shit.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
And we get to flashback of this horrible thing that Sutton did where she asked Kyle to share about her personal life because she's not wearing her wedding ring, which she was purposely not wearing to get people to ask her about her life so that she could cry and freak out that people asked her about her life.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Brobs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you?
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
I'm going to show these women that I'm strong. And I'm going to do it by walking up to every booth in here and doing this.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
So she is taken down there, and everybody else is shopping, and Jennifer Tilly sees her first and goes and hugs her, and she's like, I'm in a shopping frenzy.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
80 bucks, by the way. No, you guys need to haggle. They saw you coming from a mile off. 80 bucks for a tiger's eye necklace?
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
And is literally about to be living on a main road, like on the sidewalk of it.
Watch What Crappens
#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
So, Sutton, I went over to go say hi. Wait, I'm sorry. That's not. I'm reading the wrong person.
Watch What Crappens
#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
So Jennifer's like, well, stood up, stood up.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Yeah, but Garcelle and Jennifer and all this, I don't offend you, so what's that about? And she goes, okay, are we going to sit down and do this or are you going to attack me right in the middle of a mall? Okay, this is a mall, okay? Do you want to find a St. Lucia Sbarro to yell at me at? Would that make you happier?
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
And she's like, why does Sutton have to repeat things? And then we see, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
And she's like, yeah, but you know what? You're not the only person who's gone through moments. Okay. And it's like, well, I'm talking about myself right now. Okay. So she's like, oh, wow. So now it's about Kyle. Right. Right. Of course it is. Of course it's about Kyle now. Like she hasn't seen me get pummeled. She hasn't seen me get pummeled. She hasn't seen me get pummeled. Sorry.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
You know, if you're too absorbed to see, self-absorbed to see this is about me, we have a serious problem.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
But she really has not had to endure that. Well, but to hear her say it, she would say... I've been pummeled all season by the whole cast asking me about Morgan. She considers that pummeling.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
She's like, I just don't want every single person on this beach walking up to me and saying, are you okay? And the pop-up Kathy, she's like, you okay? Everything okay, sweetheart?
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Yeah, she's saying, I just want to be one of these Barbie dolls. Can I just be a Barbie doll for a night? She goes, okay, well, you look like one. She goes, well, thank you. That's all I wanted. Well, happy you came, you know. Barbie had a mental breakdown too, just so you know. I saw the film. She did get a vagina at the end, so that was fun. Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay?
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Triggered! Yeah, I was reading Facebook comments today just for fun. Just general... Facebook comments and God, people on Facebook are way meaner than they are on other places. I mean, and it's weird. Cause like on Reddit, everyone's team Garcelle, which, you know, kind of aligns with me more basically. And then you go to Facebook and I'm like, design, people are so hateful. Oh my God.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
What happened to Facebook? That used to be a fun place in life.
Watch What Crappens
#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Well, no one has been more obnoxious than Erika. on Watch What Happens Live. And I have to say, Bose too. Bose didn't have a great performance on that one either. And I've really enjoyed Bose, but I was turning on her pretty quickly last night because Andy had them both on and said, so, Garcelle announced she's leaving. Any reactions?
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
It really is, you guys. A lot of Beverly Hills stuff to talk about today. We are on tour. We're in the thick of it right now. The Mountain Hysteria Tour. This weekend, we are going to be in Washington, D.C. Whoa. And then followed by that, we're going to be at the Philadelphia Fillmore, okay? In Philadelphia. And in Washington, we're going to be doing Southern Charm. No, Summer House. Yes.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
And they both just sat up straight and looked straight ahead and wouldn't speak. And then the audience kind of laughed uncomfortably. And he said, no reactions. And they just stood straight ahead. And he said, come on, seriously, you're not going to say anything. And Bose was like, well, I hope that she would have stuck it out. And Erica said something, something like he does.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
I can't quote it right. I forgot the quote, but it was something like.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
he he does do it or something like that and i went on a reddit thread to see what the fuck she said because it was hard to understand and basically people were saying like god listens to your prayers or something and i was like oh okay erica god forbid someone asked you about your fucking scammy ass life with tom gerardi and then she said um yeah well
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Garcelle had been on Watch What Happens a couple of weeks ago and said that she married for love and Erica married for money. And that was the difference in their marriage. So that was like her shade. And so Andy asked her about that. And Erica said, well, we both married. We both married two old, ugly white guys. who cheated on us. And that was like her big diss.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
I'm sorry, but you are the only one who married an old, ugly white guy. Compare the pictures, ma'am. Compare the pictures to her ex and your ex, okay? And also maybe compare the fact that her ex hasn't robbed poor people to fund your stupid, shitty, talentless career. You asshole, Erika Jayne.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
And I had to remind myself, kind of like you were just talking about, like, you don't need to be this angry. So I just turned off, watch, watch what happens. It's like, fuck that chick, man. She is, she is vile. She's still vile. She, I just thought, what a cold cookie. You know, I said, I even, I was so angry. I came up with a pop-up quote. I was like, that is one cold character.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Yeah, and that was one of the questions on Watch What Happens. He said, you know, Sarah from Q's wants to know, how could you call someone boring? You don't share your life or who you're dating. And Erica's like, share my life?
Watch What Crappens
#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Erica, you didn't share shit about that. All you did was you came on and you lied about it. And then you tried to give Tom an alibi. And then you tried to give Tom a defense by amnesia, dyslexia. What am I going for? Dementia. You tried to get Tom off the hook millions of times. Then you said, fuck those poor people. I don't care about them. I only care about myself.
Watch What Crappens
#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
You haven't shared shit except stolen money on this show, ma'am. And I hope Marco Marco continue to ground your ass until there is none left. You don't deserve shit, Erica. You are a piece of shit, woman. You're a nasty, nasty character.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Yeah. And then another one of her lines is like, you're going to have to do more than than buy a beach house in Bakersfield, you know, and everyone's like, oh, well, you know, better than living in a rental that Rush Limbaugh lookalike Tom Girardi's friend got you, Erica.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Washington and Southern Charm. Washington is Southern Charm. And then in Philadelphia, we're doing Summer House. Okay. You know what? And the following week, we're going to be other places. We're going to be in Boston, Detroit, Chicago. Chicago sold out. Sorry. Okay. You know what? You should have got your tickets earlier because it's sold out.
Watch What Crappens
#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
That's basically an allegory for her entire time on this show.
Watch What Crappens
#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
You know, to be fair, and I'm sure we'll get to it a million times as the season progresses and especially the reunion. But Garcelle did say stuff that you're going to have to answer for. I mean, she was saying stuff in her her diary room about Dorit faking the robbery, about PK faking the robbery and all of that stuff. So, I mean, of course, you're going to have to answer for it.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
People are going to get pissed and you're going to have to answer for it. But I just think it's Erica, of all people, such a fucking hypocrite. Yeah. Because Erica got in trouble for fucking yelling at her son, which you should have in the first place, and sending all those bots after her with Renna and Diana. I mean, come on now.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
I agree that her story, you know, her story lines aren't that fascinating. You know, we make fun of like, oh, wow, did you buy a beach house? Because for the first six episodes, it was like, I'm so proud that I bought a beach house. Like we've made those comments too. But to say that that makes her boring is silly. I mean, she calls your ass out, and that's certainly not boring.
Watch What Crappens
#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
Without her and Sutton, nobody would have ever called your asses out.
Watch What Crappens
#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
But then after, we're going to go to Emo's in Austin and the Dallas Texas Theater in Dallas and Las Vegas, which is going to be super, super fun. So get your tickets.
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#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies
But here we are with season 14, episode 17, a Caribbean send-off. So we're in St. Lucia. We're still on the boat ride from hell. Sutton is standing there with her sun hat screaming out a window, what sea words all these ladies are. And now she's sitting there waiting for somebody to comfort her.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Oh, really? And you and your sister are the only sisters that have been nominated? Or was that Olivia de Havilland and her sister too?
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I was married to a lawyer. Yes, Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine, that's who you're thinking about. Both of them are owners of dresses that that motherfucker Gregory Peck didn't step on, so I raised a potato to them.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Oh, really? Because I'm 10% Native.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And so she's like, what Sutton needs is to stop playing the victim in situations she created and then manipulate people and bully them into believing that she's the innocent one.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Oh, because I have other 23 of me and I'm 10% Native, so there, we can bond. You know, I'm the only 10% Native person who has not been nominated for an Academy Award, so I'm glad we had this discussion. And she goes, Oh, sorry. Well, we always wanted to be Native American because we loved Cher and that song that she sang, Half Breed. Yeah, but she's Armenian and from the Valley.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And Erica's like, yeah, Sherilyn Sarkeesian from fucking Van Nuys. That's a fucking shit. Give me a break. And I can't get a hit single. Come on.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
She goes, well, Erica's like, oh, God, we can't fight. Food's coming. Guys, please. I don't get an opportunity to eat baked potatoes with rose on them. All right? Come on.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And she's like, but my lunch has been spoiled, all right? Without PK here, it's the first time I actually have a chance to eat something on my own plate.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Oh, they all say they come in peace at first. Ask my ancestors.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Well, I didn't mean to insult you, but you did kind of. But I'm just saying I don't know. How do I know she has a drinking problem? Smell her breath. How dare you? How dare you?
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Only because it's got little tiny airline bottles of vodka in it.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
It's like, the only big thing your big wallet has bought you is a horse instead of a date.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
stop picking on me, pick on somebody else. Well, what does money have to do with it, all right? Erica, who's like, come on my private jet, motherfuckers.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And then Erica's like, what's with the messy? Why are you saying messy? Because she was breaking bacon.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
She goes, oh, did I call you a bitch?
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Well, I'm the one who's being mean to her. Do you see that? I'm the one who's made to make her feel uncomfortable.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
That's what fitness is. Is that still working? The cut fitness?
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I don't want these girls getting into a caviar food fight. That would be messy. And expensive. I'm paying for it.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Well, that worked out well. Well, go on then. Tell me what to do then. Do you mean that sincerely? Do you mean it, Dorit? Do you mean it?
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
No, you called me a bitch in me house. A bitch in me house.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And you have four people, Kyle, sitting there and watching with their little lips doing nothing. Kyle's like, what? What do my lips do?
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Thank you. Thank you so much.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
It was almost filling my cup. And then it went, and I realized I had that water.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
She's gross. I don't even have any will to try anymore. I just want to go home while I've got it and leave this miserable beach to enjoy a big wallet.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And Jennifer Tilly's like, I've got placemats, everybody. There's placemats.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Well, look, I've got a captain. Oh, oh, oh, oh. It's hard to walk in a caftan.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So she's talking to her other friends who aren't on the show, and she's like, you know, Anna Marie, this is my friend Whitney. This is my friend Diana. Diana's the most fun girl. One time she took off her top and jumped into a swimming pool, sucked off a horse, and grabbed the edge of a helicopter blade and... Turn around and around until she was flinged off into Santa Barbara. Fun girl.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I think she's smart. I think she's fun. She has incredible style. Couture, jewels, couture, cat tan. I'm into it. I give a fuck. So, um, yeah.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Like, oh, yeah, look how much money I have from this and that and this.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Please get out of here. You weren't invited, naughty boy.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I didn't read the invitation properly.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I read Caspia, Caviar, Caspia. So I knew there was caviar. I knew that there was a friendly ghost, but I didn't see the caftans part.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Everyone put on your blindfold. I have a very special, special surprise. Take them off. That's right. The tables are in a line.
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#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
It was a very, very long time ago, and I did get to go to the big show. It was nice. Gregory Peck stepped on my train.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Guys, that's Old Blue Eyes, the driver over there, sobbing. Bless his heart. Wow. So, yeah, Karen was sentenced to two years in prison, which is crazy, with one year suspended and I think five years of probation. Is that what I read in here? Crazy, crazy stuff. Karen Huger was back in a Montgomery County Circuit Court. This is from People Magazine's Dave Quinn. Wednesday, February 26th.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
That's Beverly Hills right there. They're just like, it's expensive.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So I'm looking at, you know, I'm sorry, I seem distracted, but it's because I'm looking up Talitha Getty. And I don't know. I'm going to look at some images and see if she has a lot of captains.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So now she's talking about having a long cohesive table.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
She's taking an eternal nap in.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
You are so right, man. You are so right.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Talitha Getty, the model who made headlines leaning on things.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
That's pretty good.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
where she was officially sentenced to two years in prison with one year suspended for her ongoing drunk driving case. We have clips from Karen arguing her case in the court today. Well, it was only Flintstones vitamins.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I don't like it. And I'm not going to pretend to you just to sound fancy. I think it's gross. I don't want to eat fish eggs. Have you ever seen them getting caviar out of a fish and just squeezing and just caviar spurting out? I mean, it just looks like poop. It's like people glamorize nasty fish poop. I'm not into it. I don't like it. I'm not doing it.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Fuck caviar. I'm not going to pretend. I feel like, uh, I feel like, I feel like I would be more like a Jennifer, you know, like, I don't really know, but it sounds fancy.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So now Sutton comes over to visit and Sutton, Jennifer has just come back. She tells us that.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And it sounds like, oh, it's just, oh, really? Just a little thing from Elton. I'm sure it's just going to be a little. Oh, well, it is actually just a little thing. It's a little plate.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I can't wait to chew off a fingernail and place that in this plate. That's all this plate's good for.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Aren't they super problematic, Dolce & Gabbana? I mean, which fashion person isn't?
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Listen, the only designer I care about is Oneve.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Like the best designer in the world? O-L-D-N-A-V-Y. Oh, my bad. It's the only one I go to. It's the only one I trust. And they're not problematic. Except, you know, some people consider making children make their clothes as problematic. But I say, put your children to work. Keep them out of the streets. They're litterers.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So Sutton has decided that I need to find me a billionaire. Good luck, girl. Please, I can barely find a ten-ionaire. Like, can anybody at least just like pay for a Starbucks?
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Mine doesn't count. We ain't fucking.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
the starbucks i can i'm telling you i'm not getting it though i'm not getting a starbucks i'm not getting anything so she decided that she deserves a billionaire and uh she's like i'm gonna go for money now that's what i'm gonna do and i'm you know i but i need to find a man i need one he really spoils me sudden you couldn't even find one that shows up more than twice
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And it's funny because when she's saying this, she's looking at Sutton's actual things that she's wearing.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I love that Sutton is like, I'm going to see, I'm going to see Jennifer today. I'm going to wear those earrings she's jealous of.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I've had a hemorrhoid that's less painful than you as a daughter. Is that all?
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Didn't you ask Sutton what she's drinking? And you asked, is there alcohol in it?
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And I was like, nope, I'm not leaving. I'm leaving. I'm not going to let you perpetuate the myth of some sort of drinking situation. And I'm taking this drink with me. And as I left, I rolled the bar cart out and had Avi Carey at home on his back.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
That was a nine hour recap. What do you think?
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
what do you think we were talking about you don't have to understand these things just to be silly about them that's what i've discovered it's been 13 years i don't even know what half the i'm talking about i love you i don't know what you're talking about oh yeah that's what they were talking about i still don't find it that offensive i'm sorry i know people online are like going it's not over it like it's so i know that it was shitty and people have pointed out that because of what sutton has gone through with her dad and his you know
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Obviously, we went through that last week. I can see how that would make it darker and somewhat insinuating. But Sutton's reaction is just so kooky. I mean, to me, it seems like Dorit's almost trying to be your... I don't know, like trying to joke with you.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Yeah, she was already ready to go for Dorit and Dorit just kept fucking with her. And that waiting 40 minutes, that's really shitty. That's shitty. I'm sorry. It's shitty. Kind of ignoring you while you talk to Kyle or whatever. That was shitty. But the, like, you know, and I get that the little, you know, the little barbs or whatever, but Sutton's reaction is just so fucking crazy.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And granted, I would not suggest you change it because it was amazing. I love it.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So basically Dorit's, you know, we see why she's mad because she made this rumor about her, which Kyle did it, which we'll get to later. But Dorit was perpetuating this rumor and saying, the sudden's a drinker. She's somebody I would not be surprised if she pours a little vodka and a coffee in the morning.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Which wasn't nice to say, but would any of us be surprised if she poured a little vodka in her coffee in the morning? I wouldn't.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
The last person who called me a bitch in my own home was an employee. And at least she had the decency to do it in Thai-ish. Taiwanese.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So we go to Kyle's house and there's another break in. It is the tree house outside. There's been another break in in Encino, you guys. And it's the doll house, the tree house.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And why is PK cooking a pretend pancake?
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
All right, sorry, I left the door open.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So she's blaming Storm for it. You know, Storm gets a lot of blame in this family. What does Storm ever do? And then they cut to Storm and he's just looking at her like, fucking change it.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
He's like, sorry, I'm still not jiggy, mother. Like peas on the dollhouse.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
She's like, wait a minute, what is my mother's ring doing in here? This was stolen five years ago. Storm's like, God damn, she finally came in here. He's got all of her old stolen Birkins in there. It's been stormed this whole time.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So now somebody comes over. And let me tell you, the last Jamie that I saw come to Kyle's house was Jamie Lee Curtis. And she didn't look that excited. Like, she was, like, really trying to work herself up for it. This guy looks miserable, this Jamie. He's like, oh, God, I have to go to fucking Kyle's house today. He's like, hi. He's, like, twitching and, like, scratching.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
He's like, hey, I was just sleeping in my car. What do you need me for?
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Here's the thing, Life Coach Doctor slash Jamie Lee Curtis. The girls have been saying I don't share anything on camera. So I brought you over to share a bunch of manufactured stuff.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And I'm stuck here.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Kyle, you're traveling all over the world, living your best life too with Morgan Wade. We see the pictures that you pay for in every fucking magazine that you pay to get them in. So stop pretending you're just stuck there with like a Ross Dress for Less, not even close.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
You just went to a very small airport. You just got to eat it. What was the family restaurant called? I forgot.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So, yeah, this was crazy. That's a long time to be in jail. People were saying it was going to be like six months tops. And so when people say six months, I thought, oh, she'll probably get like a month, you know, but no, she got six months and someone on Reddit. I mean, she got two years and someone on Reddit named purple.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
you know like yeah she does because she travels all over the place now part of this was sad you know because kyle's always made me crazy but i fall for it you know i'm very easily manipulated and even though i think kyle's full of it and faking most of the stuff she does i'm still like oh this is so sad um and you know i kind of felt bad that she's lonely and she's and then i remember that she's got a really hot girlfriend and kind of kicked her husband out so what do you want me to say she did she did
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Yeah, that's that's true. She should be able to be living her best life. And it also sucks because, you know, while I do believe that she probably was cheating or whatever with Morgan, I also believe the stuff about Mauricio, you know, DMing people on Instagram and all that stuff. So I don't believe that she's like I don't believe that he's some victim in all of this.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
You know, I totally she's not the first cheater. Yeah, and I believe this stuff where she's like, I needed him and he's not around. Like, I do, you know, I feel for her, I guess, and all of that stuff. But I also believe that you never tell a man who you think is cheating, you know what you should take? Some space. No, that's not what you say.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
You cut, you change all the pin numbers on all of the bank accounts and you get everything frozen. You don't just say, go, go. Listen, any man who is worth, what are they worth? Like tens of millions of dollars at this point after the agency. I mean, they're rich, rich. You never tell a man with a new lease on life because he's newly rich, rich to just go explore and have fun.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
No, it's not what you do. Tie him down, break his kneecaps. That's what you do. You find out that man's been DMing people on the Instagram, break his kneecaps.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
But she is doing that. She's just pretending on the show that she's not doing that. I guess because she's kind of grounded on the show because they're shooting right now. But she's the one who puts out all these pictures of herself partying all the time and going all over the place with Morgan. So I'm not believing her.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Like, I don't even leave town.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I'm just working so hard on, you know. All that stuff that I'm doing, you know, I'm doing a film version of Kyle by Shahida. And, you know, it's been really, really rough.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
wait, purple panda pants, purple panda pants on Reddit went to the courtroom. Now I love a sloppy ass messy Bravo viewer going to the courtroom to cover this shit on Reddit.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I'm going to squeeze those oats and tell their oat milk that I'm going to throw it in your face, you son of a bitch. But I can see why she'd be sad. Look, I think she's been with him for a long time. That was the love of her life. She never thought this would happen. And then she was like, fine, you're not there for me. Then move out, hoping that he would kind of.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
you know be like no babe and she says that in the scene where she's like he never fought for me you know like he just acted like everything would eventually be fine like i was just going through something and it would all be fine and so i think that he did think that and she thought well fine he's not reacting so i'll give him something to react about get the out and do whatever you want we're separated see how you like that and he's like party
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Yeah, I think that she's just, you know, lonely. I get it. You know, I mean, I don't get it in a way that I've ever lived it, but like I get what she's talking about. I can see how she would be sad and stuff. And a lot of it, too, is just everybody bugging her, you know, because what she's really saying in this is like.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
i'm fine but people keep bugging me and telling me i need to get divorced i need to do that so like do i need to take action no you don't need to take action you're like you're fine if you're fine with how things are going don't take action just because other people are telling you to take action you know i mean if it works for you there's so many different kinds of marriages and i don't know if it's just being gay but i don't know i know a lot of couples like this who are like best friends and they still live together but they you know do whatever they want
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Archie, who's already been through the ringer. You know what I mean? He had Shannon Bedore's drunk driving and he was actually walking through the streets because Shannon had pretended that she was walking her dog, Archie, at the time of clipping the house. So it's fitting that Archie is now reporting from the courthouse. He's hardened.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Yeah. Just keep annoying us in your just annoy us.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Annoying way, you know, when they were doing that gun range thing a few episodes ago, when she got up there to sit next to him and he immediately jumped off that bench, I was like, oh no, he's dating.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I pissed off Kyle already. I'm not also going to piss off my girlfriend. Like what kind of idiot do I look like?
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
so yeah it was just so that's that so she's like i don't know what i want do i want to move on or do i not want to move on and the therapist is like i know this much i want to move on okay i got a pillow in my car i'm gonna go back and sleep in that okay also it's been 20 years and i need to broach something with you which is my name is not jamie my name is actually curtis curtis lee jamie yeah it's been really annoying
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So let's go over to Boza's home. She's cutting flowers. She's cutting yellow roses. And she's like, this is why we've got florists. Take me tall like me. I love a tall flower. Me and my future babies. I mean, me and Keely's future babies.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I mean, it's kind of on the nose, but it's also confusing in the same way, because like, if you had a sick baby, you'd be like, oh my God, call a baby doctor. And so your dumb husband's just Googling and finds baby doctor and you get there and she's like, I only count eggs. So.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Yeah, but also I think like it's glamorous to not do everything in your house. It's glamorous to like go get services. Like who wants a waxer in their house? I don't want that smell in my house. It is smelly. And then you get like little hairs left everywhere. I don't know. I feel like for this, you should go somewhere sterile.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Yeah, go outside. Yeah, exactly. I don't need my hooha working in my house. I barely want to look at that thing. Get, you know, get someone else to do it outside of the house. Then I can go home and pretend it never happened. You know, can I tell you something work done? Like, I don't want to look at that thing. Just do it outside the house and I can come home and just, I don't know.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I'm like, I never got that stuff done. What are you guys talking about?
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Yeah, they really do. So she doesn't care. She's going to get it in her house. She's like, I get a car wash in my living room.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
What are you going to do? I can afford it.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And she's talking about how scary, but it's especially scary at this age and stuff. And then Dr. Cindy's like, do you have any peas to go with my mashed bananas? It was a long flight.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So Keeley comes over and, you know, they make niceties. And Buzz is like, well, here's what I need to know today.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Are there eggs up in there? Are there eggs? And are they up in there? Tell me about them. How many are there? Are any of them talented? Do any of them show business acumen? Get on it.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Great, I'm having five children. Thank you, thank you for coming over.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So basically she does this thing where she puts the sonogram, I don't know, she puts the- She does an ultrasound and they say- Yeah, an ultrasound.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So she was updating this whole time. So you have to scroll down a little bit to see where she started because obviously this goes backwards. 11.29 a.m. But basically, a bunch of people, you know, the judge comes in and she says the judge seems a little bit lost. Both sides sent sentencing guidelines or whatever requests.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Wow, I've got four eggs. Do you know how expensive those things are now? I'm rich, I'm rich.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Tell them this. I'm coming for you. And I've got wallpaper.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
She's got like four eggs per house or something. And you're, you know, usually you only get zero eggs. And so she's like, yes, four eggs. We're doing it.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And she's like, okay, doctor, thank you for coming over. Why aren't you getting up?
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Quiet luxury. I just know that Shahida's somewhere, like, fuming watching this episode. Like, oh, now she's willing to promote caftans.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So then over at Dorit's house, she's also getting her glam done, and they are doing that stuff on your nose, that contouring stuff. I'm like, are you purposely getting a carrot for a nose? Why is your nose a pencil?
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Why are you shaping your nose like that? It looks cray cray.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Very quiet. Exhausted, quiet luxury. So then she's like, I'm just not looking for conflict right now. It's what I'm not looking for. I can't wait to fight with Sutton. Does anybody have bottles of alcohol I can take in?
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
That's so impressive.
Watch What Crappens
#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And then we get to judge read a letter from Morningstar Baptist Church, read a letter from the director of Rehab B. And a statement from Mad. Oh, my gosh. Well, I'm mothers against deplorable discographies as well. I do not appreciate children listening to terrible music either.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C, Dana Do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Yes, we can-a. It's Savannah.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
She ain't no shrinking Violet Kutar. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Well, basically, she's just updating as it goes along. Karen was sentenced to two years in jail, one year suspended, has to serve one year in jail, five years probation. And then she says at 1129, Karen just got taken away by the sheriff to start. I mean, she started already. I thought that was something they're like, OK, you better report to jail in a few months.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
And then maybe she could shoot a couple of scenes. But no, they took her ass right to jail.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
You are now part of the court record. Purple Panda Pants is my new hero. So it's some friends and family here gathered around her and said, we're praying for you and you've got this. And she's gone. Apparently on her way out, she told Ray, you've got this. You've got this, Ray. God will take care of you.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Don't have to shoot your stupid show. Ray has reported to his recovery center in Florida, the golf course. So, wow, that's crazy. So we're going to get a year, at least a year without Karen on Potomac, which I know there's bigger things to worry about than my television schedule, but name them. Name them.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben, you gorgeous man.
Watch What Crappens
#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Oh, no, she's going to come back stronger than ever. She's going to have a huge hero story coming back. I hope she learns to make ponchos, you know, like Martha Stewart. And she comes back out in the poncho line or some shit. I think she'll be fine. I think she's going to do great in prison. I don't think it's like real prison, you know? It's like Karen Huger prison.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I think it's going to be like home goods prison where it's like kind of maybe, you know, Danbury, Connecticut, you know? Yeah. I feel like it's going to be a nice prison, but I don't know. I have no idea because you know why? Because purple panda pants has not told me. So get on it. Purple panda pants. All right.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
She's like, I made a five-wick shank. It's got five blades on it. It's just five blades. Like, there's nothing even sharp on there. And you're like, oh.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
It's a wig. So anyway, welcome to Watch What Crappens, everybody. Today is Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Day. But before we start, we're going to do another 10 minutes. No, just kidding. We're on tour, so go get tickets. In March, we're going to be at Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, and Philly.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Get your tickets, links, and other show dates because we're going to be going through May. Get your city over at watchwhatcrappens.com. Also, Patreon is where you find videos like this one that we're doing right now. And it's also where you'll find our Traders Recaps. So go check those out on Patreon. And thank you to everybody who supports over there.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Let's get on with some Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, shall we, Ben?
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So in the long, you know, the tradition, let me just say, in the tradition of parents who speak, well, at least a mother who speaks with a fucked up crazy accent, Jagger speaks with, did you notice Jagger's accent? Yeah. Where'd that come from? He's very Osborne child. Yeah.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Yeah, I don't think I've ever heard Jagger with an accent, because I remember him not having an accent, but I think he went to school and was like, fuck these people, I'm getting five accents. Because now he's like, it's no hold, madam, just quit the bull. I was like, wow, this kid's traveled a lot. He's got the well-traveled accent that his mommy has.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Hawaii is 3.14, baby.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Whoa, whoa, whoa. News break. Alexia News Network. Welcome to the Alexia News Network. Oh, well, you know Peter. Guys, huge news. Karen Huger has been sentenced to prison.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
We never had a challenger in the family potato sack race until the Mandelbergs came along. Mandelger versus Mandelberg.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Your mom's like, it's supposed to be a potato sack race. So Griselle's like, all right, here's what I see. Ruining another potato sack race. Wait, what about the potato sack race? The Mandelbergs, they're your neighbors. They were your first real competition in the neighborhood, the potato sack race.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So Garcelle is talking about her new film, Black Girl Missing Part 19. And she's like, well, here's what I'd like to talk about. The opening credits, I feel like I need one beat because all we really have is a close-up of the school, exterior school. So I'm going to need more than that.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Now listen here, Mrs. Mandelker. You might have lost the last five potato sack races your family entered, but you're good with exteriors.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So Black Girl Missing Part 19, coming soon. So then we go to Erica's house and she's on the phone with her mother and people are unpacking, flurry of unpacking, you know, very inexpensive things around Erica's house for her remodel.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
I just want to leave the audience confused, right? I want to just kept talking about doing it, but we're never going to talk about what we're going to do.
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#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
So they're like, well, our first order of business is how to arrange the tables. I love that she's acting like she's coming in here planning this whole party. They make a table of straight lines and serve caviar and a baked potato.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
I would really love to see that audition tape. Like, what was she doing? Sorting the glass out of the recycling bin? Like, give me a fucking break. Who cast this person?
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
So now Psy, who has been so pissed at Povit that we've had full clip packages of her ignoring Povit.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
So now you want him to say hello? Make up your fucking mind.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
If you want him to say hi, you have to dress like a bond me.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Yeah, it's not a bad point. So then we see a clip of Psy being like, he's going to Vietnam for 24 hours? That's enough time to get into trouble. Yeah, but you can get illicit sex right in New York City. It's not like you guys live out in the boondocks. A man wouldn't have to jump on a plane to get into trouble.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
So Si's like, well, I just know it was very offensive and I'm over and I just wanted to keep my distance and that's it. And so Jess was like, well, I didn't realize you were offended. Honestly, who am I supposed to know?
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
because she's dealt with bipolar people her whole life. And that's the thing. You can't tiptoe around everybody's issues every time you want to insult somebody. That's what makes this show so difficult. If you say one thing and they all put on a victim cloak of why you can't say that to them and now you're a horrible person.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
And that's another thing that was good about this episode is Uba punched right through that fucking victim cloak. And she was like, no, ma'am. With what she found out, she was like, oh, hell no. Take that cloak off.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Yes, it is. I don't mean in a smart-ass way of like, oh.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
That's a legit thing, but she used it. She willed it as a weapon, you know?
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
And Jess was like, your feelings are completely valid, completely valid. And she's like, all good. So they hug and they make up.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
You guys, my whole brand is men suck. Since when is that your whole brand? You're basically a parking ticket only for men waiting for validation. Like just waiting for that fucking snap. Since when is your men suck your motto?
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
If you're looking to get away with all the fabulous luxe experience of the Housewives, but none of the drama, check out Virgin Voyages.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
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Start your initial free online visit today at 4HERS.com slash crappins.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
No better way to do that than a nice new piece of beautiful furniture. Heh.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
I just did my place all mid-century modern and I got the most. Beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
There's something for every style and home, no matter your space or budget.
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That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Yeah. Surely everything's going to be great now. So they gather in there and Jenna's like, Aaron, what the fuck is happening?
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Have I mentioned that I was into synchronized swimming in the sixth grade? I can't believe I just did that.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
These are exclusively built kid-free cruises, so no matter what you're looking for, you can get the type of experience you need most, all catered to adult tastes. I mean, we love our children.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Yeah. And Raquel's like, and everything with respect to Brynn and Uba's good. And she's like, listen, I love Uba, but we cannot keep calling Brynn a whore. Nobody called Brynn a whore. Just a reminder to the audience out there. Literally nobody called Brynn a whore. And Raquel's like, yeah, or say that she's giving blowjobs for work, which also wasn't said.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
And Aaron's like, well, that's a soft subject for her, you guys. No pun intended.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
You guys seem to have a hard on for Brynn. So Jenna's like, you know, the problem is if you try to jump in, then Uba's mad and she's like, it's none of your business. It has nothing to do with you. And literally when we were all at your house, she had it out with Brynn and then she wouldn't let any of us speak. And then we get a clip of that, of people going, can I speak?
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
And her going, no, don't speak. But you guys keep trying to jump in to defend Brynn, who's a fucking monster and who is coming for her constantly.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
No, Rebecca Minkoff. Don't say anything. So Jenna's like, but actually, you know, like I'm like a grown woman and I'm not going to get like a slap if I'm trying to talk. And then Jessel laughs. Oh, you are a grown woman. And so they joke about her baby voice and stuff.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Uba just comes in trying to reset again, which never works. But she's like, maybe if I just come in happy in the scene, it'll all work out. You know, so it's like, hello, darling. What are you doing? Is everything OK? What's happening? Why is everybody here? And Jenna's like, oh, you know, just hanging out. And so Raquel says they need to discuss things.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
And it was like, why are you combing the couch? I thought it was the dog. I'm sorry. I'm very stressed out. My squint just won't open.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Which says that might help you shut up. So Uba did not tell her to suck a dick. OK, yes.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Yeah. And she's like, please, can we remember things? Because this cast will not like this cast is will literally believe the last thing that was told to them, you know, 100 percent. So now Brynn comes in and Uber's telling us, I don't have to hurt people for me to feel better because I'm better already. I wake up in the morning as Uber Hassan, darling, look at me.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Right, but she didn't say that to you yesterday. So Uba's like, I didn't. It's horrible. I said maybe. And Brynn's like, um, and you don't think it's horrible to say to me? Maybe you put a dick in your mouth to get a job? Well, she didn't say. And she's like, no, I said maybe you slept with someone to get a job. I did not say a dick. And she's like, oh, maybe then.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Book now at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
I just feel like she also spent the first part of the season or the middle part of the season, whatever it was, it's all blurry to me now, but she also spent a good part of the season trying to convince everybody that Rebecca was fucking other men and got pregnant by some other random dude, which she later lied about and claimed that she was part of this inside joke, but she wasn't.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
So don't, don't come at me with your, your slut shaming crying because you've been doing it to other people. No, So shut up. So Jenna, Aaron's like, same connotation. It's not okay and it's uncalled for. Okay, lady who was accusing some guy of sex tourism and then trying to break up a marriage and then everything else that you've done this year, be quiet, you too.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
So then Jenna's like, you know, I mean, they both said shit to each other, but it's just semantics now. And it's just, it's not really about the issue at hand, which I don't really, what is the issue at hand?
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
And Uba's like, I didn't say it. And Aaron's trying to smooth it over, going, Uba, just say you love her.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
who she just yelled at for not standing up for her enough, but okay.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Brynn's just like chaos. She's like a chaos. She's a chaotic hypocrisy tornado. Like she's just like keeping up with her is crazy.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
And she's like, of course you do, you narcissistic bitch. When did I do anything aside from work my ass off? I'm a marketer PR. And she's like, marketing my ass. Oh, really? You're not Naomi. You model for DressBarn.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
But yeah, I mean, she didn't. I don't think she did. I think she was like a really she was like a really successful model. She was actually a really successful model. So Raquel's like, well, there's nothing nice about someone saying that someone slept with someone to get a job. And so I was like, it's both not nice. Both not nice. I like that size having a snack on the couch.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Who goes, Pia, piece of shit. Because she's not buying this horse shit. Just like the rest of us. So Aaron's like, don't go there, guys. And Brynn's like, I don't know.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
um and aaron's like you're making yourself sound crazy just stop and raquel's like yeah you're both making yourself sound crazy and she's oh now he's talking about my character and aaron's like brand we're defending you because brenda's really spinning out at this point she's standing up she's drunk off her ass and she's just freaking out you know and so raquel finally just grabs her and does a hug like the tamra and
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
the Shannon and Tamara hug in the van, where it's just like a real tight hug. And she's like, you know, Brynn is talking about how hard it is for a woman of color, an attractive woman, to be taken seriously and not be thought of as a whore. Yeah, but what did she just do to Uba literally two seconds ago?
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
And that's kind of my problem with Brynn and why I can never feel anything for her because she's just such a fucking hypocrite. Why is it okay for you to go on about how hard you've worked while you're totally discrediting a black woman who has worked her ass off and an immigrant to boot and, you know, a non-white passing black woman?
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
You know, there's another whole layer of problematic shit that's that's here is brain is a white passing black woman. And she's coming for this like a black immigrant woman and disparaging her career and coming after how she talks, mocking how she talks, calling her an angry black woman. It's fucked up.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Hi, just can't wait to talk about this hilarious season finale.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
fib all the time and do the things that she does in this episode yeah I mean look your past informs your present for sure but it doesn't excuse your present you know and it's fucked up that she's doing this constantly constantly and her whole like now she's saying why can't a black woman make money why can't a black woman be successful I don't know why were you just saying it two seconds ago to Uba yeah
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Like Rebecca Minkoff. She's always doing that against Rebecca Minkoff who has like a humongous company. Yeah, she's ridiculous. And also she was just in the last episode going, I'm kept all night by billionaires calling me.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Like that's her other go to in fights is to be is to brag about how attractive hot rich men think she well, she doesn't say hot, but rich men think she is and how she has to stay up all night waiting for their calls. So I just I can't.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
sometimes so then aaron is so uba walks in and walks up to bryn and uba's goes to aaron and she's like one second aaron okay because of course aaron's trying to get in the middle of it and so she's like come here so they both uba and aaron walk out so bryn is still going on and it was probably smart to get uba out of there so bryn's like i worked hard you know she's still going on about how she doesn't anybody for anything
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
So then we go to Aaron Uba and sign another bedroom. And Uba's like, she's plastic. She's fake. And Aaron's like, listen, there's good people on both sides. Quote from one of my heroes.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
And so so I was like, he got to stop reacting. Hello. You're still crying over something Povitt said to you last year. Like you're literally having a fight today about something that was said last year. So who's the who the fuck is reacting now? And Aaron's like, yeah, you just have to walk away. And so I saying, yeah, you know, she makes you say those things in front of everybody.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
So now everybody's looking at you like you're crazy. And this is true. Look, all this stuff that they're telling her is technically true. Uba flies off the handle and doesn't know how to confront things without flying off the handle. And so she loses her shit and she looks like an idiot. You know, she looks unbalanced. OK, I think that they're right. And that's good advice to give a friend.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
But at the same time, I'm so sick of people like Brynn being able to get away with everything just because she makes the other person react. It's not something like, you react, so you lost. Well, what has she been saying? She's been doing nothing but bullying the woman for the whole year, pretty much.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
because they can't do it because the modern rules are the biggest victim wins so bren's in the other room sobbing that she's never sucked dick for money which is not even what uba said and so she's victim cloaked herself so now they're like look she's got you she's on the higher ground okay she's been slut shamed and that's a trauma for her so now you can't yell at her for bullying you all day
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Yeah. So, um, now Rebecca comes in and she's like, everyone needs to eat, okay? I want you to eat this pizza. And they're like, that's a record. Damn it. Just very stressed out. All right, no one's eating. Everyone's been drinking a lot. So the food's here. So whenever you're ready, you're eating Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Ow, my teeth.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
So the girls start laughing, basically. And Uba's like, get out of my room, you fucking bitch. This is dysfunctional, isn't it? I can't believe it. And so Aaron's like, just drink. Just drink this wine. You can diffuse it in five seconds. And she's like, I don't want to diffuse it. And she goes, but you'll feel better.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
So she's like, okay, well, first of all, I don't care for Brynn, but I'll do it for the sake of everyone else.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Yeah, they'll see that nobody said anything that you're accusing them of and crying and having a histrionic fit anyway.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Elevating my style used to mean breaking the bank, but with Quince, I get high-end, versatile pieces at prices I can actually afford. Now I can upgrade my style by snagging luxury essentials that sync with my vibe and my wallet.
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And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices, along with premium fabrics and finishes. I love that.
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Investing involves risk. Acorn Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash crabbins. So Raquel's just like, stop it, just stop. And she's like, no, I'm dealing with shit. So she goes into, I'm in support groups about sexual assault, you know, and now you want to say I suck dick.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
I'm in support groups trying to deal with shit that happened to me and you want to go there and ooh, and this is where she goes. And by the way, and everybody in this episode says this, I'm not doubting one thing about what Brynn says about her sexual assault. That would never even cross my mind that she would lie about that.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
But she is now using it as a weapon against somebody, which is bad enough. And then she takes it here. And Uba knows this. Uba knows. And Jenna goes, she does? And she goes, yeah. Before BravoCon, I fucking called Uba. And I was like, I was fucking raped. And I'm still dealing with this. And Uba knows this. So now I have this six-foot petulant toddler being like, she sucks dick for work. Yeah.
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Because even because if this was true, Uba is not just being mean. She's using someone's sexual assault against them. And that's really, really fucking low. Now, of course, when she said that, I said bullshit. I didn't believe this for two seconds. I don't, you know, Brynn's so full of it. And also this is another thing that Brynn does constantly. And it's a part of her playbook.
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Whereas if she's not getting the reaction she wants, she ups the ante, you know? So she's been in there in histrionics, what, for 15 minutes probably in showtime, in real time. She's in there going on and on and on. And everybody's just telling her, be quiet, be quiet, stop, stop. And so she's not getting what she wants. No one's going to yell at Uba. There's no one screaming at Uba.
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So what does she do? She's using her rape against me. She's using my rape against me. Yikes.
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Okay, so now Raquel's just like, I can't even look at Uba. So people have all believed Brynn again. So now Uba comes up to Brynn and she's like, can I talk to you? Because Uba has just been told to go make up with Brynn, right? So she doesn't know that Brynn has just dropped this bomb. So she's going to try it. So she's like, can I talk to you? Let's sit down. And Jen is crying. Just be nice.
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Just be nice to her. So then outside, Uba's like, you know, look, I'd like to apologize for what I said. I didn't mean that. And she goes, well, what did you say that you didn't mean? And she says, whatever it is about you, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.
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I'm sorry, Aaron. This is also why Uba's flying off, because they used that against her and made her try to look like a monster when she said that stuff in front of Aaron. Could that have been more sensitive? Of course. But guess who else lost their mother? Uba. What do you think she was talking about when she was saying you sometimes you lose your family sometimes?
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I mean, it's just like, could she have been more sensitive? Yes. But I can also see why she's being hypersensitive to being accused of all this stuff constantly.
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As I dive into my Jenny's ice cream. So we go back to the apology and it was just like, look, I'm here to apologize. Okay. I'm just here to apologize. And she goes, well, then do it properly. She goes, Brynn, I didn't say that you did that. And she goes, okay, then I'm good. I'm good then. Like, I just accused you of using my rape against me. So I'm not letting you off that easy.
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So got to let this all play out. So she's like, it's performative. It's not real. Like she said this and I know that she's not sorry.
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So, um, Rebecca's like, don't worry. She will apologize. She will.
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I really am. Sorry. Just cause someone faced me in the right direction.
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So they're basically exhausted, right? They're like, look, this is so poor, Bryn. Everyone's so sorry for you, Bryn. Let's just all go to bed and maybe we can heal from the evil Uber overnight. So they all start going to bed. So 10.56 p.m., knock on the door from a producer camera guy. And Raquel's like, oh, you're taking my mic? Okay, well, it's cameras go down time.
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I also love that she did this off camera. I mean, what housewife does that? Normally they wait to have a camera to tattletale. And Jussel just went as a friend after the cameras were down to be like, listen, this is what's going on, you know? Mm-hmm.
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I think we're allowed to say it at some point. I don't know when. Okay, everybody. Thank you. Yes, it's 2020. Yes, you guessed it. I heard you in your car guess. We're going up.
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And so now she's really just like, well, yeah, I mean, first, you're full of rape. So that's not because you feel for your friend. And, you know, you're also like, oh, my God, now she's trying to make it look like I'm using her rape against her, which is really what's going on. And she can't take anymore. I mean, she's just like done.
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Like, how many times do you get to fucking do this to one person? So she basically has a breakdown and she's in the corner shaking like a ball. And this is as it's described by the other ladies. And Uba is saying, I just want her to tell me when she told that told me that so I can remember before I deny it. Like, just tell me when you said it. But she does not seem to have known this at all.
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Like, I'm buying that she didn't know it, you know? So then Uba is, like, freaking out at Brynn. She's like, Brynn, you said on camera you were raped and I knew about it? This bitch. Bitch! Are you kidding me?
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So then Jenna's saying, you know, she's just at the core of her being, just trying to convince me and just make sure I understand that she didn't know. So then Raquel is saying, you know, and then she proceeds to tell us, may Allah strike me down and kill my firstborn if I did this. And no one would say something like that if they weren't telling the truth.
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Bringing them back, guys. We told you there was going to be some surprises. Okay, so Real Housewives of New York City. Wow, definitely the most compelling episode they've ever put forth. Holy God, I was texting Ben during this saying, redemption. Only because last week we got, you know, we got a little heat.
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So now the ladies are starting to believe Uba. So Aaron is like, well, how Aaron is just talking about. She's like, how would Uba know that she was raped? Like, I didn't even know that she was raped. And Raquel says, well, this is fucking crazy, this whole thing. And Brynn comes down. She goes, now what are we talking about? She's saying she didn't know. Oh, right. She didn't know. Uh-huh.
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In my mind, she knew. And that's pretty much all you need to know about Brynn right there. She can cry. She can throw her fits. She can list off every single thing she's ever been through. But that I think illustrates Brynn perfectly. In my mind, she knew. No, you know you're caught. You know your ass is caught. And you see how Uba's reacting.
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And now you're going to try and reel it in in your confessional. Fucking unbelievable. So now the producers are trying to calm people down, and Uba's still losing it. She's like, I got it, I got it. Are you insane? Like, she's crying. She's sobbing. She's yelling, this bitch is lying. You son of a bitch. You're fucking lying. And she starts going towards her room, screaming, you psycho bitch.
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And she's like, and you told Jenna not to tell me this? Like, I'm supposed to sleep with this? And she's telling, this is to Raquel. She says, and you told Jenna not to tell me this? Like, I'm...
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like i'm supposed to sleep with this information are you insane so they're like damn and jessel says i've never seen her this way you know she's throwing up and uba is just sobbing to the cameras and she's like only three people know the truth god me and her and i wish i knew i what i did to her to do for her to do something like this
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So now the ladies are gathering the next morning, right?
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I mean, I'm not going to say, listen, everybody has a right to their opinion, obviously, but we got a little heat for standing up for UBA so much. And this week I was like, redemption! Like, thank God, because wow, what an episode. What a fucking psycho. This was amazing to me because, not Uba, Brynn. This was amazing to me because a couple of things.
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And that's when Brynn says, come to think of it, maybe she didn't clock it. And Aaron's like, yeah, everything I thought about Brynn changed in that moment immediately. So fucking Brynn knew she went too far and started trying to reel it in. So so I was like, yeah, not clocking something like that versus accusing her of knowing. Yeah, those are two different things.
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So this is when the ladies are like, nah. And Raquel says, yeah, I'm not doubting her experience, but it's clear to me that her story is just not lining up. You know, I checked out within a couple of minutes and the producer says, why? And she says, because I realized that she was lying.
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And Sai's like, yeah, her mistake was normally she goes and talks to one or two people and then gets them going. But this time she had us all there and she couldn't spin it. You know, we were all there watching this. And so Aaron's like, and that's when everything changed in this group of girls. So the next morning. So we see the producers kind of sitting around. This is before shooting time.
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And Brynn's just lying on the couch with the producers, talking and laughing, going over the schedule for the day. And it's awkward as hell watching her just act like nothing happened. You know?
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But she's also texting, like, I want to go, you know? So they're like, okay, we found a 1230 flight to JFK.
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and um brent's like yeah i was like i've got to get out of here and they're like okay we'll make it happen you know so i wake up the next morning and that's that so she's she's just telling the ladies i'm out of here you know so side knows she's like brent knows she up you know and she can never just take accountability like i'm so sorry i mean say something but brent's like we have horseback riding we have things to do and like let's just get it done and figure out stuff later
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One, it was like a mystery show where you watch a mystery. You know how those mysteries work now, where you watch... 10 episodes and they dilly dally around until the 10th episode. And then they reveal them. Everybody figures out the mystery and it's amazing. And that's what makes those shows amazing. And this gave us that.
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Right. So now the ladies sit outside, Brynn leaves, but the other ladies sit outside and they're talking about Jessel and like, have you guys talked to Jessel or Uba? And Aaron's like, well, Jessel called me a bunch of times this morning, but I'm like mentally not well from this. Like I couldn't even eat anything. And so they're talking about how stressed they are about it.
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And Jenna's like, I think we can all agree though, that it's pretty clear that Uwe didn't know about any of this stuff. And they're like, yeah, no, no.
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Even though you've insinuated it like 10 times on camera to us, fucking Aaron.
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So basically we get that all of the women now believe Brynn is a complete
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compulsively lying crazy person like they're just like fuck her like everybody is now backed away from Brynn and just completely dropped her in their minds like they're just like she's done you know so then we get one of the best editing pieces of the season which is the Brynn lying montage and it's so good I mean it's it's just so good and I'm almost jealous of the person who got that job of like just sit here all season and collect Brynn's fucking lies
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I mean, it's pretty much every storyline. It's every point of discord on this show. That's just Brynn lying, lying, lying, lying. Now they cut out the parts where Aaron was with her most of those times helping her because, of course, her henchman is going to get away. But I'm going to have to get over it. So, and of course the audience also knows all this, right?
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I was really impressed that New York gave me anything, but I was like, whoa, they all solved a mystery. I mean, I love that. I loved it there. I said it. I loved it. I mean, it was dark as hell and depressing and wrong. The whole episode was wrong, but I was like, wow, that's the most compelling thing they've ever done.
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The audience has seen her doing this, but hopefully seeing it all cut together like this, people will finally fucking get it, you know? But it does sometimes take a good finale to like just squish it all into your brain and be like, wow, were they setting this up the whole time and just kind of letting Brynn go?
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Right. And so Jenna's like, well, look, clearly something went down and she's hurt, you know, but I feel confused. And I also feel a little taken advantage of. And so it's like, you know, I believe it, too. But I think she also lied so much as a child to cover up a lot of her trauma that it bleeds into her adulthood, which I thought was 100 percent. Yeah, pretty right on.
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And I also like that kind of compassion coming from them, because one thing I was thinking while I watch this, besides fucking Brynn, you fucking compulsive liar, you're finally caught. I mean, there was definitely that part. But the other part of it, even through to the end, because it just it doesn't get better. Right. for Brynn through the end of this episode.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
But even through that, I was thinking, oh my God, this poor thing, like she sucks and she deserves a lot of what's coming to her. But this is gonna be hard, especially for someone emotionally unstable as Brynn. And so sensitive to like, oh, Jeff Lewis said some joke about me on his show. I mean, this is going to really hit hard because you know how Housewives fans are.
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I mean, the public in general isn't great, but when you piss off the Housewives fans, the shit that they're probably saying all over her Instagram, she's not going to live this down for a long time. And that's really difficult for kind of a week. It's difficult for anybody, but I think it's going to be really, really hard for her. And I don't love that.
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So, yeah, basically they're just commiserating about all of the stuff that's gone down. So they're like, well, we have to do main titles in a couple of days. What are we going to do? And Jenna's like, are we still? I just thought we wouldn't have an opening anymore. Can we just use puppets?
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Rebecca, you just answered the iron. I'm sorry. I thought it was one of my wicked handbags. So I was like, listen, she's going to be calling Aaron the most. Okay, so watch out. And she's going to try and rectify the situation and act like nothing happened, which...
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beep like right on cue it's aaron it's uh brent texting aaron and she's like she texted me are we are you getting out of here today and raquel's like yeah because she's concerned that we're all staying and she's not and she says yep i've seen it before it's like narcissism 101 that she's concerned she's all she's only concerned about that and not about the madness that she unleashed you know and it's not whether uba's okay you know that was not a text out of concern that was only concerned for herself
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So, OK, so now Aaron's like, yeah, I do kind of feel bad for her. And so I think, well, I mean, she has issues. She needs to talk to somebody. And so they're all getting ready to go. And so Uba comes and they just hug Uba. And Raquel's like, I'm so sorry. I did not know what was going on. And Jessel's saying, you know, it's OK. Like we get how it looks with the optics and stuff.
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And Aaron says, I'm sorry for assuming that was true. And Jenna's like, do you want to talk a little bit? And she's like, I'm just worried to go back to last night. And she goes, well, you don't have to, you know, we truly believe that you did not know. None of us believe that you knew.
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And Aaron's like, yeah, you know, when she called you to tell you something going on that she had said it, she was like, but, and an hour later she goes, yeah, maybe she didn't clock it. And it was like, she looks at them like you fucking kid. Of course she did. You know?
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And she was like, well, I'm glad they finally see it, you know, and they have integrity because they could just take Brinside. And there was one. And Uba says, well, the most important thing is, is she OK? And Raquel's like, she's OK. And I was like, wow. And that's just what Raquel said, like. Brynn didn't even say, is Uba OK? She didn't even ask about Uba. But Uba's like, is Brynn OK?
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Even though she's been hurt by this person over and over again. And so Jenna's like, yeah, there's something more going on for her. She's shaking. She's crying. And I think she just realized she fucked up, you know. So now it's time to head to the airport.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
So then we see Raquel's end card as she poses and does her like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Raquel and Mel still haven't made it down to Puerto Rico, but they have been to the Hamptons where they're buying a home close to Aaron and Gabe. Gabe. Gabe. Gabe. Gabe. So then Cy goes to talk to Aaron and she's like, are you talking to Brynn? She's like, I texted her this morning.
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I was like, are you okay? And she was like, no.
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It's a dogey. So Si's like, yeah, that was pretty fucked up. That was bad. And I think it's like, maybe she's starting to realize. And Si's like, yeah, I don't see Brynn as the same person. That's sad. I mean, Brynn was so fun and bubbly, but it's like things have changed. You know what? It's like, have you ever been to a house with no lunch? You never go back to that house again.
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Brynn is a house with no lunch. She's a lunchless house. There's nothing good for me there.
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So then now it's Aaron and Jessel and Jessel's like, I mean, I'm worried. I texted her. I mean, it's just Brynn, you know, just being Brynn like pleasant. But does she remember what happened? I mean, I hope she's okay. And she says that she doesn't think Brynn understands or is aware of the gravity of this.
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And she just hasn't had the opportunity to be in front of Brynn and to kind of explain the context of everything. So Brynn still doesn't know that everybody knows that she's just a flat out compulsive liar now and that they've all turned against her. She's just like, whatever, coming to work.
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So now it's Uber. And she's like, I hope I have Jesus and Muhammad in God. And the whole weekend I was literally just healing and taking care of myself and thanking God that I'm Uber Hassan. And I think I'm in a very good place because I'm actually sending love to the other side. And so I was like, but what if she talks to you? I already asked them not to be mic'd. Which was very smart.
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She's like, I'm not wearing a mic in this shit. So she says she showed up to work because they worked really hard for this show. And she's not going to let down the girls because of Brynn. But she does not want Brynn having a chance to be like, oh, I'm sorry.
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And I'm sorry specifically about saying dress barn and then not take responsibility for everything else. And she's like, if she did that, I would not be held responsible for whatever I did.
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It turns both, actually. So Uwe's like, I can't even hate Brynn. Like, if I hold grudges for her, I would never trust. And she would cut my wings so I forgive her for me to move on and for me to live my life with wings like a pigeon. So then she does her, you know, beautiful movements or whatever for her photo shoot. And she is moving forward with fibroid surgery.
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And her recovery plan involves lots of foot rubs from Oliver. So now Bryn and the ladies are all taken to the set. And they're on, Brynn and Uba are on opposite sides of the, you know, lineup. And they have to do their final poses.
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Yeah, that was pretty amazing. That whole sequence was really good. And also the parallels to Old Roni. And most of the time I try not to say, oh, my God, Old Roni. I don't compare them. They're not even the same. I mean, they're in the same city, whatever.
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Like, I'm over here and I want to die inside. Nobody gives a fuck. The one thing I learned is that these girls really don't give a fuck. Everyone say cheese. Cheese. Yeah. Enjoy that hole you dug.
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I hope she learned better than she did chess. I will never forget that scene when she's like, I play chess. And then she lost like in one move.
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So Aaron, you know, they finish a shoot and Aaron says bye to her. And Aaron gets the last line because she's inexplicably the lead of this show. And again, I just want to point out one more time. We made it through a whole finale again of Aaron not taking any shit from anybody for all the shit she stirred. So she owes a huge thank you bouquet to Brynn.
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So she's like, you know, Brynn should still be okay. I mean, there's still a path for all of us if Brynn can really own this.
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Yeah, amen. Well, you know, compelling last episode, weird show. Yeah, it was something. It definitely gave us a lot to think about and a lot to talk about. So thanks. And we'll still be talking about you for the next five weeks of your reunion or however long you decide this reunion means. But we'll be back next week. Thanks so much for being here with us, everybody. We sure love you.
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Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchels.
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So I try not to compare them, but you know, old Roni was basically canceled because of problematic race issues and people just being so fucking problematic. And granted that was Ramona and to a lesser degree, Sonia, but still pretty problematic. And then this one, I don't think it'll be canceled, but it's interesting that they ran into the same wall in a way.
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Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kerr.
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She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay B. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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You can find these great prices in store and online. Shop Whole Foods Market on Amazon and get free pickup and convenient delivery on all your wellness journey essentials. Terms apply. Save on your wellness routine with great everyday prices at Whole Foods Market. How annoying is it to have to switch apps to watch your favorite movies and videos? Different logins, forgotten passwords.
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I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP.
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We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. Give him hell, Miss Noel. Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle.
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She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
I mean, it's not the exact same wall, obviously, but there are definitely parallels that I was like, wow, what the hell? And the characters are totally different. But for it to come to a head like that in both. of the versions of the show I thought was pretty cray cray.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
It was a lot. So where we ended up last time was, you know, Uba's having a fit basically. And she's having a fit because these two keep poking, poking, poking, poking, poking, poking, poking. And she's breaking down all over the place. And so now Aaron and Brynn are in a bedroom and Aaron's saying never again.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
She screamed in my face like I said, don't ever call her a whore and don't ever fucking talk to her like that again. And then she slammed the door in my face. You walked into a room while she was fucking naked, Erin. You know, fucking Erin, I can't. And out of all the people who pissed me off, Erin probably pissed me off the most because Erin keeps getting away with it.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Like, why are we going to call out Brynn when Erin, literally Brynn went too far. I'm not saying we shouldn't call out Brynn. But why is it that Erin can get right up to that point and nobody says anything? How is Erin still getting out of here, Scott Free? Makes me crazy.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Yeah, it really is. And, you know, just to boil it down for you, Aaron started some shit to make some drama. And now she's going to fucking cry like she's a victim of said shit that she started. And she started the shit and then ran and tattletaled on the other people that she started shit with because they weren't starting shit fast enough for her. And she's still going to get away with it.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
So she goes in and, you know, sighs kind of onto it.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
and you know she's right but they're still so easily swayed so size just like what did you say so aaron's like well she's saying that psy told her that i was talking all this about her and just like no i said she was like who told you and i said psy and aaron's like shut up jessel also aaron's so mean to jessel like what's wrong with you so mean you're mean to the most liked person on this cast like you're not only lame at this you're stupid you're stupid
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
So for her, too, you know, because it wasn't just three weeks ago that I was like, no, no, not main character energy. I'm sorry. Like Ben was saying, she should be be the main character. They should just build around her. And I was like, no, she doesn't have she doesn't got it. but she does that.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
They take one little thing and then they twist it and basically lie and tell everybody something else that has like a kernel of truth. So if they're ever called, I can be like, but I did tell the truth. They both do the exact same thing. Brynn just went a step further today in what she was saying. And she got caught to the point where Aaron was like, I'm not going to be on her team anymore.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Like there's no coming back for this. But Aaron still does it too all the time. The exact same thing.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
Jenna's like, well, Rebecca, are you having trouble with that door knob? I'm just squinting so hard right now that I can't see the door. Can someone help me through?
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
So then we go back to the bedroom with the other conversation and Aaron's like, whoa, Jessel. So why are you trying to go to sign now like a little creep and be like, oh, Aaron's saying blah, blah, blah. I said, maybe your husband should apologize for calling her a fucking bitch and calling her bipolar. That's what I said. No, that's not all you said, you fucking liar.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
And second of all, no man should be calling a woman a bitch. So yes, profit should apologize for calling her a bitch. Now calling her bipolar and everything else. I know it's not nice to like use people's mental stuff against them. He doesn't know if you're bipolar or not.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
He was just saying some random thing because you were acting crazy and you were calling him a sex tourist for how long and insinuate trying to break up their marriage and everything else. And I know you've had a great year side, but please give me a fucking break with the victim act. That shit's not gonna work here. You started it, ma'am.
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#2699 RHONY S15E015: Main Discredits
So Aaron's telling us, yeah, that was a low blow. And if Pavit wanted to insult Sai, he should have gone with something like she acts like a baby when she's hungry or she dresses like a small boy. Well, he's not as bad at his confessionals as you are.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Or as we call it now, TikTok. That was TikTok in Mandarin. So one of the big stories from the past couple of weeks was Lindsay.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Amanda is not skinny, but not fat. And she did an interview with her and she told us all the Dorinda tea. And we had just been talking about this because the traders is back. So we recapped the traders on our Patreon and we were talking about why Lindsay wasn't there. And we were saying the rumor is that Lindsay was pregnant.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Not many people knew Dorinda found out tattletaled on Lindsay, got Lindsay fired from summer house because it's dangerous. Probably. And so, you know, that sucks of Dorinda. And then when Dorinda got kicked off, we were speculating maybe people didn't try to save Dorinda because they knew all the dirty shit that happened with Lindsay.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
So that stuff's all speculation until Lindsay Hubbard blasts, quote unquote, really drunk Dorinda Medley for spreading rumors she was pregnant and miscarried.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Well, I mean, if your job involves stomach punching, I mean, yeah.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
No, no. So basically what Dorinda was doing, she got wasted at this party and was like, oh, yeah, you know, Lindsay Hubbard. Yeah, she was pregnant, but she lost her baby and doing telling everybody that.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
And especially after I've already had that happen in my life, you know, like that's crazy. And so she doesn't really even know the truth because she hasn't called Dorinda. And this is the thing, like everybody's saying, why isn't Lindsay on Real Housewives of New York? Because she's transitioned into motherhood now, right? So that seems like a natural fit. She could stay on Bravo.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
This is why, because she goes on some pod. You need to go to that lady, bring it, bring Andy in a camera and go to that lady and yell at her. That's what we need. The Lindsay versus Dorinda fight. I need this in my life.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
You mean like how did the rumor impact it? Well, first of all, it's Dorinda, so who knows how this actually happened. I think it probably was something in the telephone game, probably like, you know, that girl's pregnant, and she tried to come on the traders, and she's already had a miscarriage, and now you're going to try to come on traders and not keep your baby safe?
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I would imagine it was something like that. And then by the time it got back to Lindsay, it was, she said that you've had a miscarriage, that you're pregnant and you've already had a miscarriage or something. And now Lindsay's saying, well, why is she saying I have a miss? I mean, I don't know, but just from watching these shows for so many years, I don't know. Sounds right to me.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
It's Looney Tunes and it's fucked up for Dorinda to do that. And also no shock. And Lindsay did also say in her interview where she was like, Well, I mean, is it smart to go on a reality show that's really physically intensive while you're pregnant? Probably not. But like, why is she going around saying this shit, basically?
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Yeah. You know what, okay? This is doing the medley. Would you have Lindsay call me, please? Because I can't take this shit anymore. And tell her if she doesn't, she's going to be not okayed out.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
If you're looking to get away with all the fabulous luxe experience of the Housewives, but none of the drama, check out Virgin Voyages.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
So that was that. Who knows what's going to happen? Lindsay is spicy as ever, though. So that's fun because she's ready to rumble. And I loved it. And just hearing her in the interview again, why does it feel like 20 years since Summer House has been on?
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I think maybe because so much happened towards the end of that season, like they built up two new heroes, which were Wes and Jesse Solomon. And then they tore down those heroes. And then we had the whole first half of the season where everybody's like, oh, my God, poor victim Carl. And then the end of the season where at least half the audience was like, Carl's not the victim here.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
And there were just so many big changes that happened. Maybe they were just like huge arcs that normally take a couple of years to play out. I don't know. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Hers is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
No better way to do that than a nice new piece of beautiful furniture.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I just did my place all mid-century modern, and I got the most beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
There's something for every style and home, no matter your space or budget.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home. Elevating my style used to mean breaking the bank, but with Quince, I get high-end, versatile pieces at prices I can actually afford. Now I can upgrade my style by snagging luxury essentials that sync with my vibe and my wallet.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
These are exclusively built kid-free cruises, so no matter what you're looking for, you can get the type of experience you need most, all catered to adult tastes.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices, along with premium fabrics and finishes. I love that.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I can barely remember it. It does. Well, listening to Lindsay on this podcast was pretty funny because… You know, Amanda's a really good interviewer and she's like everybody's best friend, or at least it seems like she's everybody's best friend and she can get them to kind of open up and stuff.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
And she's like, oh, thanks. Thanks, Lindsay. That's like one of the biggest podcasts in the country. She's like, yeah, thanks for your approval, Linz. Yeah, you made it now.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
So I thought that was pretty good. That happened a little while ago. Let's see what else. So this keeps coming up. Robbie Williams, who is currently being played by a monkey in the movies, that monkey movie, whatever it's called. Listen, you guys can't put a monkey movie out the same year as Chimp Crazy. I've already got Tonya in my life. You can't try and upstage Tonya.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Now, if Robbie's mother in the film was someone who was like, Robbie, please don't leave me.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Book now at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor. Well, hello and welcome to Crappy Hour. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hi, Ben.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I would watch that. Robbie Williams being played by a monkey. I don't know.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
So she was like, you need to ask my husband to do it. I don't know how she talks because I didn't watch this. I just I'm just reading the article. Does she talk like this? Well, you need to ask my husband about it because this motherfucker, this monkey. But yeah, apparently he doesn't want her to do it. Well, this got people talking. And people were saying, oh, this must be one of the 14 friends.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
So you know what I mean, right? The crystal 14 friends that dumped her. So everybody's speculating that this is part of that friend group and that she was the one who was supposed to be. Because supposedly that whole thing was one of Crystal's friends. wanted to be on Beverly Hills and they weren't getting on it or something wasn't working out with them. And Crystal was shit talking the show.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
This is all gossip. I have no idea. This comes from Reddit comments, what I'm saying.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
so supposedly crystal was like oh don't worry that show sucks anyway it's trash and then crystal got an audition and started going through the process of casting and didn't tell any of these girls who were trying to get on the show and then when she got on the show she'd been talking the show but now she's on the show and so they were like well this girl trying to make us not want to get on the show when she was trying to get on it the whole time
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
So that's the original rumors that I heard back then. So now supposedly it's this girl, this Aida, who was going to do it. But then her husband didn't let her. And then Crystal stole her thunder.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Yeah, it's really hard keeping Keyhole in line. Let me tell you, that kid does not listen. The second it's finished eating food, just starts throwing it at my face.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Oh, my God, you guys. So news being confirmed in the comments. God, I love this. We need comments for every show we do because just this immediate fact check is amazing. But it says Ryan says, I think Crystal said this on Cynthia's podcast. I think isn't that Cynthia and Crystal's podcast? Don't they have a podcast together now?
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
And then someone said Maximum's mom Maximus mom said Crystal actually said all that on Jeff Lewis last week. Okay, okay. So, fine. It's not from a Reddit comment anymore. Now it's verified by real fans. It's from Crystal.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Gosh, that's not as fun. That's funny. Well, yeah. Thanks, you guys. So, that's interesting. So, it's also the best storyline that Crystal's ever had. So... Get this lady. Yeah, get this lady and get Crystal. And let's watch them fight it out.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Okay, so in other Summer House news, not that that was Summer House news, but we were talking about Summer House stuff earlier. Guys, just wanted to check in with one of the manliest men that I've ever known. He's the kind of man who can get us hard, but all while wanting us to be soft. It's Carl Radke, guys. It's Carl Radke. Yeah. Yeah. Carl Radke reveals his current relationship status.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
It took some time to heal. Took some time to heal.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I read this article because it said, click here to hear about Carl Radke's new love life or something like that. So I clicked it, obviously, like, who is this sucker? You know, I just wanted to go look at this girl's Instagram and comment, no, I wouldn't do that. under my own name. So then I got to the article. I was like, still not ready. Still not ready, but I'm almost ready.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Ben, let me be honest with you. It is going so great. Good. We'd love to hear that. How's it going in your life?
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I've got like three pairs of white pants ready to go out on the town.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Oh, Carl Key. That's that's Carl's couple name if he ends up with himself. Yeah. Carl T. Carl T. But I love that he revealed all this fascinating information on Jen Fessler's podcast. Hello. Your name is Carl. Hello, Carl. I'm Jen. Jen Fessler. You ever heard of me? Ever heard of Tony Soprano? Then you've heard of me. All right. I was under Tony for a minute.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Anyway, let's talk about your love life. So I just like that Carl did his big heavy hitting interview with Jen Fessler.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Wait, hold on guys. I just got a text. Wait a minute, Jackie. I'm a slob.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Oh, my God. I just got flowers. Hold on. Let me read the card. Your white pants are dead. Oh, God damn. That woman is harsh. That woman is harsh. She's taking me out.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Oh, thanks. You see, that was not misinformation from me. That came straight from the desk of Mr. Ben Mandelker.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
They have these things in Europe. I go to Europe, so I know how they do things over there. Au revoir. Au revoir, by the way. Put your au revoir on me. Okay. So in Europe, we are without alcohol in them and they call them soft, soft drinks. It's just crazy. I'm bringing that to America. I'm bringing it to America. Yeah.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I'm basically traded by anybody. So, sorry for the stupid hat, but I'm seriously sorry.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Well, I needed the hood to keep the ears warm, but I'm warming up a little, so I could ease up with the hood. I'm sorry it's so cold. You know, in a world that's burning, that's got crazy inaugurations happening, everybody's fighting, everything's going crazy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, I love a good story just hating on Kyle Richards for It's like my new pastime.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
And listen, I don't even feel anything. And obviously hate. I just, you know, that's not a real term. It's just like a play watching people on TV term. But, you know, over the years, Kyle's made me so crazy on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And now I just find it so hilarious. Like, I'm actually finding it so hilarious now. But it's funny watching the world go crazy over Kyle.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
So there are a couple things out because Beverly Hills is airing, as we all know. The first one is not anti-Kyle, but it's a report. This is from Reality T. Kyle Richards wants Dorit Kemsley to leave Beverly Hills amid really ugly feud.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
um allegedly she wants to push her out there were rumors that the cast was rebelling against kyle and according to an insider trying to take her down however the show seems to be more favorable towards kyle so that could be another roadblock wait is there any story in here
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Well, who could blame Dorit? Well, that's what happens. She goes for everybody else. She's eventually going to come for you if you don't agree. I mean, what the hell? You helped her do it last time. I don't feel for you, Dorit. Although I'm enjoying your season this season, but you know.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Oh, do we have a Jesus person in here? Oh, there's somebody in the comments. Oh my gosh, someone named Faithful Servant. Okay, let me read it. Romans 10, 13. For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Well, thank God. That's good. Hey, Lord, half the city is still burning. You on that? Great. Thanks, faithful servant. Good job. You're welcome.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I know, I love it. Okay, so the next story is Brittany Bateman. You guys, the takeover star from Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Guys, do you remember her? Of course you do. You've been thinking about her ever since the last episode of Salt Lake City ended. It's Brittany Bateman. So Brittany Bateman, this is on Bravo News. BravoTV.com.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Bravo! So, Brittany Bateman's next career move after Salt Lake City Season 5 has been revealed, and it includes a sold-on SLC connection. On January 16th, Presidio Real Estate Manager founding broker Jennifer took to Instagram to reveal that Brittany will now be an agent at her brokerage.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Yeah, it's your dream come true. It's all your homies. Yes. I'm like stressed and excited all at once. Yeah. Well, I just got back from a little friend vacation, like a little friend trip, which was really nice and meaningful and stuff. We cried. But I just came back to L.A. for the first time since I left a few weeks ago. Yikes. Yikes on bikes. It's pretty smoky.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
No, Brittany.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Gen Yo. You got her on that one. So, yeah, she's apparently going to be on sold on SLC, but unfortunately, that show's getting canceled. We all know it. Why are we pretending that that show has a shelf life? Brittany, you are running from being canceled on one show to getting canceled on the next show. Girl.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I'm loving this comment from, is it showing? From Aaron that says, Brittany singing the real estate videos promoting her business. She would totally do that too. She'd come on in like a green face and be like,
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I thought that was pretty funny. Hey, you know what? Britney's a star. Move her to a show. What do we have? Hire her in Candy's Restaurant. Sorry, boss. We canceled that one. Sold on SLC. Do we still have that one where the kids are vacationing together with a group of their friends? What was that called, Ben?
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
um invite only cabo invite only cabo like we could use somebody to throw off a wave runner this year like sorry that one was what about new york city prep can can britney join a prep school has she aged out of that what about princesses princesses long island um by the way it's hold on working out at a lesbian gym
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
mid-aughts bravo what a what a sight to behold um they need to bring her back she deserves another chance every time the home goes they still have her stuff and i love it it's all really cool stuff i actually bought some rachel's towels they're terrible can i just tell you the quality is absolutely terrible and they all come unstrung like you you dry yourself one time and they're just like a pile of threads on the floor but they're so cute it's cute threads she's like i die i die um
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Okay, so big news in the world of Project Runway. First of all, Project Runway is not, I believe it's not coming back to Bravo. It's coming back to Freeform, Disney Plus, and Hulu. And guess who's coming back? It's Heidi Klum.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
it's pretty smoky here and it's also freezing in this house this is the thing about old houses they are cold and they're also very hot insulate guys there's my advice to you insulate it's also a huge day in the country you know trump just took over
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
You know what Bravo needs to do? They need to start getting shows that people need. OK, I know Netflix already has this, but I want the Great British Baking Show on Bravo. It just seems like it would be more home there. And then they could spin those characters off and put them on traders and stuff. And you could have like Alina, the lady who's like, oh, yeah, you want to mess with mama?
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
You're going to get some from me. Like, I love that lady. I love all the people on there.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
They've been doing that forever. Remember? Yeah. See you later, decorators.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Yeah. Um, well, We'll see. Who knows? They need to come up with some new ideas. So let's see what they come up with in the next couple of years. So let's see. There's rumors Nene's coming back. But you know what? This could literally be any week for the past, what, three, four years that we could be saying. There's rumors that Nene's coming back. But these latest are reported on DailyMail.com.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
so here we go people yeah there was a dude next to me on the plane watching it and i couldn't get my internet to work so i couldn't get my youtube tv on so i was watching it in silence so i was just making up stuff that they were saying um and it was still horrifying i didn't even understand what was happening here's what i did understand why is melania dressed like the watcher why was she dressed like that did you see how she was dressed
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Nene Leakes cuts a stylish figure in NYC after dishing on possible return to Raw. So, let's see. Someone asked her after Tamron Hall, basically, and she said... They talk about her clothes a lot. They love her clothes. I mean, I guess they're cute. Oh, my God, her face. NeNe has a new face. Have you seen it?
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
It might smell like... I don't recognize her at all. Normally, you can see someone in there like, Hi, I remember you. But yeah, this is totally different.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Yeah, so anyway, she is... Where's the quote? Just get to the quote. I'm a NeNe Leakes fan. I love her. Where is she? Bring her back. Oh, Cynthia Erivo. Oh, yeah, because, you know, Cynthia Erivo is so good in Wicked, now people will cast Housewives just based on her wishes, I guess. So she's like, I'm a NeNe Leakes fan. I just love her. Bring her back.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Nothing will make you want Bethany and Nini back like Brynn and Aaron.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
It's like when you don't really appreciate frozen yogurt until you're starving and not eating ice cream. And then you're like, oh, my God, this is actually pretty good. Not that I need these frozen yogurt. God, I'm just really hungry. But yeah, she was one of the greats. She should get another chance. Just do it. But by the way, for anyone looking for an actual quote, there is no quote in here.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
She just says, I don't know if the opportunity was right and the check was on point. Why not? That was it. Everybody's saying that she made up with Andy, though. Have you heard that?
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I mean, the back pocket sounds terrifying. Every time you go out there for a piece of gum, it's just telling you off. And another thing. It's like, oh, I'm so sorry. God damn it. I forgot you were in my back pocket. Did you just sit on me? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. So the internet was set a Twitter, a titter, a titter, a litter. It was a litter. Many kittens came out of the story. It was set.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
No, I'm not saying that. So Paige, Paige DeSorbo went to some kind of game. Was it football or something?
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
football game she went to the eagles playoff game i believe and she was seen with mystery man rumored to be joe d'amelio which he's not a mystery man that is who that was and people were freaking out like page is dating that weirdo he was trying to date theresa when she was divorced and so it became this huge thing but i don't think she's dating him she just liked to take pictures in the box seats you know and who would i think you're like
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Yeah. Lala can't. This is the last one. There's so many. I'm just like stringing through these. There's a lot of not a lot. You know what I mean? So this is from in in touch weekly exclusive details. Lala can't slammed by X Vanderpump rules. Coast off faith in emotional court declaration.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
So, former Vanderpump Rules star Faith Stowers accused producers of pressuring her into staying silent about an alleged incident involving co-star Lala. Ooh, this is the knife thing where she pulled the knife, huh?
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
So Faith is arguing that the agreements she signed for the show are invalid and unenforceable. And she asked the court to allow her lawsuit to move forward. And what did the court say? She claimed she, we know all this stuff. So over time, her treatment got even worse. Many cast members embarked on an overtly racist social media harassment. Okay, we know this stuff, right?
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
So in a declaration, Faith added, I was also attacked by a cast member brandishing a knife to my neck while threatening to cut a bitch.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
i would terrify that i was terrified i'd be stabbed oh so this is the thing that she had already said about the knife they're just man the court system justice is really slow huh yeah it's slow it's not like judge judy you know it takes a long time they need to get bates up in here she'll get that solved in a week and have everybody hoodwinked the whole time about some other mystery get matlock in here
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That whole thing's a mess. I thought there was going to be something new in there, but you're just still still going for Lala. Get her. Yeah. Get her. I say it's Lala. So go get her. Well, I think it's time to turn it over to the audience. What do you think, Ben? I think that's a great idea. All right, everybody who's listening on audio, thank you so much for being here.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Yeah, she's she was in like a disguise, which I thought was really funny. We see you. See you.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
We do this every other Monday live at 530 Pacific Time. And at the end of the show, we turn it over to the audience, bring everybody up on video chat and chat for a few minutes. So you guys on video stay here and everybody else will talk to you next time. Bye.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Hava Nagila Webber. Know Your Worth with Jason Kerr.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay B. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I sucka.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Yes, we can-a.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Oh, gosh. Well... it's all burning so let's um let's get to it so we've got some stuff going on over here on the um watch what crappens news desk crazy stuff happening actually you know not a huge not a huge moment in bravo uh gossip or not a huge couple of weeks in bravo gossip unless we're missing something and we are reading your comments as much as we can and yes rebecca parker speaking of
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Someone said spy versus spy, and that's exactly what Melania stressed. Thank you. I don't even know what the Watcher is. Why did I say the Watcher? But yeah, it is very spy versus spy. Aaron Bell version of that, Ben.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
You can find these great prices in store and online. Shop Whole Foods Market on Amazon and get free pickup and convenient delivery on all your wellness journey essentials. Terms apply.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
uh in the wake of the fire so congratulations mike you are shitty in so many new ways we didn't even know you could be yeah what an my god right that guy's a total piece of and in related news listen when everything is going crazy in this world you can always rely on bravo men to remind you Yeah, people are shitty still.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
It didn't really bring any smiles to anybody's faces, but, you know, they're shitty people. So here you go. The next one up to bat is Mr. Jax Taylor, who just posted, as you know, the devastation from the fires here in L.A. has caused many to lose their homes. And that includes their beds. So I wanted to find a way to help the city I love and give back. So I've teamed up with At Mattress.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I'm not even going to say their fucking names. To give away 10 free mattresses to anyone that has been affected by the fires. Here's how you can nominate yourself for someone you know. Follow Mr. Jax Taylor and At Mattress.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
tag anyone you know that's been personally affected by the los angeles fires can i tell you if i lost my house in the los angeles fires and you tagged me in a post to win a free mattress from jax for yourself i would murder you you know that yeah yeah would you imagine like oh you lost your home you need a bed okay i'll give you a mattress but only if you give me a follow on social media first
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
How annoying is it to have to switch apps to watch your favorite movies and videos? Different logins, forgotten passwords. Well, not anymore.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Do you know how many people have had to burn mattresses after sleeping with Jax Taylor? That he would even get this promotion is fucking crazy. I mean, you want to talk about sleeping with a man that leads to burning feelings. It's Jax.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
And just so you know, you guys, that was a misspeak on Ben's part. No one wants to outlaw TikTok. Okay.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
You have that TikTok thing.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
TikTok was gone for a day, and it was crazy watching people melt the fuck down online, not knowing what to do. I saw two young people actually look at each other at the airport, and it was the weirdest thing. Like, they didn't have anything to look at on their phone, and they just looked up, and they were like, Oh, yeah.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
It was a crazy day in America.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Well, I saw another one that everyone's signing up for to replace Instagram. Well, to replace Instagram, I guess, because Instagram also came out with those new... Well, I don't want to say laws. They canceled a bunch of things that were there to protect...
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Experience the convenience of having your favorite subscriptions in your Prime Video account with one login and one password.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Yeah, we're going to protect the religious free speech, which is calling gay people freaks. That's fine. But, you know, so anyway, people were looking for an alternative for that. So I went on there and they don't even have an app yet. It's just like some website, which probably means we should sign up. Right. I'm never on the at the beginning of this shit.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
So I signed up, but then I already forgot what it was like. I wouldn't be able to find it again because TikTok came out. I'm not on TikTok anyway. What do I care?
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Well, TikTok's bad for me. Well, first of all, one thing I really always loved about TikTok was that they really popularized dancing in place, which I love. I love dancing where you just stand in place and you just move your elbows. Like, to me, that's like art. Like, I love that. But where it really gets me is it's just I'm too easily swayed. Like, I believe anything that people tell me.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
And so TikTok is too many people teaching me wrong information. I mean... Every time I watch TikTok, I walk away with some facts that are immediately debunked by whoever I tell them to, you know. So I had to stop that. But anyway, TikTok's back, everybody. Don't worry. You can influence. And Jax ended up getting a VPN and working his way around it. And he ended up in some other country.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
And they're like, nobody knows you in that country, Jax. Like, you're not going to be able to get accounts there, you idiot. What do you think you're going to get? Yeah.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
See him get torn down all year. You know, that's good.
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
Um, yeah, I have a friend who works in like analytics for big company. I don't know. She explained it to me and it was so hard to follow because I'm not smart like that, but basically she tracks all these apps and what they're doing. And they said that when tick tock shut down, um,
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#2698 Crappy Hour 1/20/25 Lindsay V Dorinda, Carl is Soft, Sold on Britani
The biggest app to get downloaded was Duolingo and everybody started trying to learn Mandarin, which I think is hilarious. Like our education system has been failing for so many years, but you shut down fucking TikTok and now everybody's bilingual suddenly. So they have somebody to give them toothpaste ads for their elbow dancing. I can't.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
I take accountability every time I make a mistake. For example, the time I said that I'm very close to minorities who happen to work for me. How I said, yes, they do work for me. Is that so bad? That's taking accountability!
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And, of course, Garcelle's like, well, as Jennifer Tilly would say, Darice taking accountability for two minutes. I mean, come on. Now, all of a sudden, she's an accountability guru. Please. She's like, well, there has been no point where you have tried to rectify any of our little mishaps.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
I learned lessons as a little girl that I should have brought to this. You don't speak to poor people. You have security escort them out. And so I apologize for speaking directly to you. I know that must have hurt.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And the fact that we sat at that caviar party together. And I purposely wore a loss prevention jacket across from you. That wasn't right. That wasn't right. I mean, let's face it. This is California. I can't really get you arrested anyway. So it wasn't right of me to do that. That's all right.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah. This is, you think you're better than her? My wallet is. Whatever. I mean, I think that was pretty shitty, but it's really funny how Sutton tries to apologize because right after that, we saw the confessional where Sutton's like, I don't regret saying that not one single second. I wish I said it more. I wish I came up with rhymes for poor, that little idiot.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
I wish that I had the server walk up to her and say, I'm sorry, ma'am. We don't accept WIC cards here. That would have been good. That would have been good.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
She's like, oh, now there's a lot more you need to apologize for. So Boaz is like, Dorit, you're not even taking any of it in. It's an apology. Take it. And she's like, Gois, Gois, I said thank you. I said thank you. I appreciate it. But wait, there's more.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah. Yeah. Agreed. So, but she's also like on the poor side, you know what I mean? So she's standing up for the, for the other poor. So, and also when Sutton apologizes and you don't know what was real, the slam or the apology, can't both things be true? I mean, most hurtful things you say are meant, but then you feel bad for saying them. So you apologize. It's called being an adult. Okay.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah. Well, I think what made it actually really mean is that Dorit is like, she's really going through it and losing her house and stuff. But I don't think that was happening at this time. I think if she called her poor like right now when the house is being taken away and all that other stuff that's allegedly going down and PK not paying any bills and stuff like that, that would be different.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
But, you know, it was when Dorit was still pretending to have money, so... It didn't count.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
It was a shitty, shitty thing to say. It was a shitty thing to say. So not guilty.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Well, I also didn't think that it was so bad when Dorit made fun of Sutton's alcohol intake. No, it's definitely not. Yeah, I think this whole season I'm like, meh. I mean, this is pretty mid as far as things to be mad about go. So I don't really care. They're very sensitive.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
It's like, oh, so we're calling that a joke now? It's like, well, the comment, the comment, listen, it wasn't my intention to call you an alcoholic, especially when everybody can see that you're clearly an alcoholic.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
She called me a bitch in the home. In the home. That was like the ultimate. Because Dorit can't be offended. She's called everyone the C word all season. Like how many times has she been like, what a effing C word. That's true. Yeah, that's true. Now she's like, how dare you speak to a woman like that? So Kathy's like, well, listen, we're here for another four days. All right.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
You can't conquer Rome in a day, which isn't the saying, you know, because the saying is you can't build Rome in a day because I'm pretty sure Rome burnt pretty fast. It didn't take very much long to it didn't take that much time to burn it to the ground, but it did take long to build.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
you know it's a few thousand years for rome to get to where it was so uh it's a good sign for you too well while we've got a break in the fighting um i just want to say that bows you know i really appreciate when you came to my house the other day and said that you like me better than to read now and you apologize for ever going on to her side and becoming my best friend so thank you that meant a lot to me bows everybody hear that everybody hear that yeah
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
like most is kind of like my best friend now so just want to like announce that to the table like i'm friends with her now too so i guess that makes me pretty cool well from that moment i said look whatever i can do to help kyle i'll do it did you get my note about never bangs again good and god answered my prayer when i went to soho house and sitting across from me not even an arm length away
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
With John Turturro. Making up with him.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
It wasn't until I said, I love that show where you had to deal with toe jam. That was a good drama on HBO. Did you ever see that? The night of his character had like crippling foot disease, like crippling athlete or something. And it was just him picking his toe jam with a pencil for eight episodes. I mean, that was a decent show, but God, I will never forget that or forgive John Turturro.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
I don't know why this made me laugh, but she goes, there's Moe with his girl. And Kathy went, a female, a female. And she went, a girl. And Garcelle says, with a woman, with a woman, okay, let's all decide how, let's all agree on how we're going to refer to women.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And then I texted Kyle and I said, girl. And then afterwards I gave her the full report. And Kyle's like, yeah, three and a half minute long voice. No, I haven't gotten one of those since Jamie Lee Curtis actually forgot to press end when she was leaving me a voicemail. God, that was, that got ugly.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So then we get to hear Buzz's voicemail. Hey, babe. Full report. She's not cute. I mean, look, if you're going to go do it, like get the cutest girl on the planet, right? No, actually, I was sitting there. They were there. I was dreaming of scenarios where I could push them in the water. Let me know what you want me to do. Kill him. I'll run up on a man. Let me know.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Well, we all have your back. We all want to fight for you. So if I'm being completely honest, I feel that we tiptoe.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
But it's also she said five million times she's not going to talk about it. Morgan refuses to be talked about on the show, this and that. So I'm kind of like, why are we going back to this? Well, but then I saw on the after show, I just saw a clip that was posted. And Garcelle's like, listen, she's it's everywhere. It's on all the blogs when we're shooting. It's literally everywhere.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And Kyle flying everywhere with this girl. And then it has to.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
like everyone else has to be open and honest but she doesn't it's just annoying and then it cuts to kyle in her own room and kyle's like well you know like she knows my situation and why i can't see it and how come it's okay for garcelle like her kid doesn't want to film and that's fine she doesn't want to talk about that and then her other son had stuff going on and she doesn't want to talk about that
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
those are her children how are you even going to compare somebody requesting that their child especially after one of them was bullied by you guys on on national tv why how are you going to argue that that's even close to being the same thing give me a fucking break well the thing is i think also kyle has there's an expectation that they all should rally around kyle and you know if they see mauricio out in the wild they're going to report back to her and they're gonna they're gonna
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So here we go. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Season 14, Episode 16. Sutton on trial at sea.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And also Garcelle did talk about her son on the show quite a bit. So I'm surprised that never happened. And then we get Erica backing up, of course, the party line, you know, the, the, Kyle party. That's a sad party.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And then we see Garcelle talking about how she's banged, you know, all these famous people. And then she goes, well, maybe she's Pete. Oh, my God. Look who's talking, lady. The last person you bragged about was fucking Armie Hammer before he got canceled for talking about wanting to eat people. Shut up, Erica. And what do we know about you?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
You're still pretending you're innocent in this whole thing. What about Marco Marco, lady? You're lucky nobody brings that up.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah, yours was old nuts on the ground Tom Girardi who fucked over how many victims. And then you helped fuck over Marco Marco. So whatever, lady.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
I was like, well, there is no situation, you know, I mean, you guys know everything. I mean, sure you saw me at a concert, but I had that on the books for like six months. So, and she says it like it was an, she says, I literally had an appearance that I had on the book. You're booking appearances. Morgan is booking appearances of you in the wings at her shows. No, I don't believe it.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah, and she's got more going on than who she's fucking. I like that point. And she's producing film after film, Erica. What are you doing? You're like speaking over garage band loops. Like, give me a fucking break, okay? And mooching tables off reunion sets for your fucking house remodel. Give me a break. Oh, did you see that, by the way? Did I send you that Reddit thing?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Reddit, let me tell you, if you ever have a mystery to solve, Reddit is who to give it to, okay? Someone posted, isn't this the same coffee table from the reunion set? And sure enough, Erica's new table in her remodeled home is from the reunion set. She's just taking shit right off the set. So get out of here. You're manufacturing the shit that you're mooching off reunion sets. Come on.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So, you know, I will give flowers where the background of a of a movie about a Russian or about a whore marrying a Russian billionaire is like the height of a compliment. You know what I mean?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Anyway, I'm not saying she shouldn't be happy. I'm just, you know, I know I'm just Erica because she's like she's sitting on everybody else's accomplishments. Yeah. So girls, I was like, whatever. That was an appearance. It was on the books. And she's well, right. But that brings attention, right? and said, well, what am I supposed to do? I mean, going to the gas station brings me attention.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
You know, like I can't even get granola out of the bin at the Sprouts without getting attention. It's everywhere I go, the paparazzi are everywhere. Cause you're calling them everywhere. And I'm so glad that Garcelle just keeps her foot on her neck. Cause she's like, yeah, does paparazzi really follow Kyle Richards everywhere?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
I mean, Julia Roberts can go to the grocery store, but Kyle can't, please. I know.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah. And so Kyle's like, well, like, maybe one day, like, I'll have a great story to share with you guys. Maybe. And Kathy's like, maybe you won't. She goes, okay, well, maybe I don't.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Of all the crap Kathy Hilton puts out of her bag, and she's still putting blush on her lips. Like, why? So then we go to Jennifer, Garcelle, and Sutton, and they're getting ready. And, you know, Jennifer's like, this is what I'm going to wear tonight. And Sutton's like, I'm wearing vodka. Isn't that hilarious? Vodka's my favorite color. Actually, red's my favorite color. Red vodka. I love vodka.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
I have white parties. The guy from Fatburger comes over and makes stuff for people. So Garcelle goes, I hope you do, girl. I hope you have a great story to tell. Now, let me nuzzle my chin against your shoulder a little bit. Just tell you, as your best friend, here's the kind of author I want to be. The kind of author that supports a friend to write a beautiful story about herself.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So Garcelle's like, is it annoying that Sutton's infatuated with Kyle? Yes. But I needed her tonight. And she was so blinded by Kyle's light. And they make a little twinkling sound. It's like, but she didn't have my back. And, you know, part of this, I'm like, why is it?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
why does she have to help gang up on kyle this is ridiculous and you've done it a million times like give it a rest like it's it is kind of getting old to me the whole like hounding kyle about the same over and over but then i remembered and they showed us clips of this later that they actually had a discussion where they're like we're gonna get kyle tonight about the lesbian thing right like yeah get her and then once they do it so it's just like oh my god kyle i'm so sorry she's being mean to you you know she has that kind of an attitude so i'd be pissed too
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Tell us about your lesbian relationships, Snow White.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Mauricio had his dick in an ugly tree. I'm telling you that. Right now, girl. Okay, so what kind of tree did you choose to be?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Please, nobody call me an alcoholic. That would be very offensive. God, I love vodka.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
so then um this fight is pretty much over so uh bows announces that tomorrow is the boat excursion which is terrifying because we know what happens on boats all these shows and this show is no exception so now we go back to the villa and kathy gets a call oh sorry i just want to say kathy's like what time she goes we start at 9 30. okay that means 10 for me
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
so uh kathy gets a call from carol her brand manager and she's like um hold on hold on she's like putting on you know creams and sucking down vitamins and doing all the stuff that kathy hilton does injecting stem cells from a baby she stole on the beach you know that kind of stuff and it's like hold on a second i'm changing just hold on one second okay and she just puts the phone on the bed and never comes back
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Never got back to it. Ten minutes later, you just hear Carol going, uh, Kathy?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
booze now i understand the intention tonight but because she's about to come for bows for not having her back and like standing up to her at the party or saying something against her at the party so buzz is like no look look this is i can't concentrate on anything but the hair can we talk about this in a minute please white women please explain so then um it's like well remember we were having these conversations and sudden said sisterhood
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
It's just how hypocritical she was being. Do you remember? Do you remember?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And Bose is telling Nico in her room, she's like, I have intentions, right, for the trip. I want it to feel like a girl's trip where everybody gets along and it's kumbaya and we enjoy each other. And Nico's like, girl, what kind of girl's trips do you go on? My girl's trips are never like that.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Well, that's true, but it's also hypocritical, because when is Dorit ever sincere? Like, when is Dorit ever nice to Sutton? I mean, give me a break. And then there's that.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah. It's like, Dorit, you keep going back. And she says that Dorit has a challenge with being able to give apologies and now receiving apologies. So she's starting to see some cracks in the Dorit facade. And she's like, okay, so what do you want this chick to do? And she's like, well, for us, it has to be more than just words. Erica, she's done this 9 million times.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
It's like, yes, yes, you know. Like Pyramid over there. Yeah. I think it's just letting things be and seeing how it develops. She's like, well, but, you know, you have to not put it on the back burner because that doesn't solve anything. And so Dorit's like, well, maybe there's no solution. Sutton's just evil.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So in the other villa, of course, Sutton is talking about this shit with Jennifer and Garcelle.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And I love Nico the gay being like, no, this is not how girl's trips works because I'm the gay on many girl's trips. And yeah, it's never peaceful. I'm still traumatized from a couple of girl's trips to this day. Quiet, Nico.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And then she tells us, Kyle, stepping up for me.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
It's just so sad to be this insecure when you're so rich and like have so many years under your belt. Like, come on.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah. Well, we made that plan before me and Kyle were best friends. So, I mean, we're basically friend married now. So you're basically coming after my friend, my friend, girl, woman, female. What am I supposed to say now?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And she's like, why could we do it last year? She goes, well, last year I asked a lot of questions because there were a lot of, you know, changes in her life. They seemed dramatic. Also, she wouldn't ask me. So that was pretty much it. You know, what do you want from me? What do you want from me? You know, I had listened to friend to friend. And she goes, I don't want anything. You know what?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
I'm going to bed. Good night. You know, you've got blinders on. Good night. And she's like, well, you did the same thing, Garcelle, last year. And then Garcelle trips. And she's like, ow. Damn it. She goes, oh, forget about it. Admit to doing the same thing last year. She's like, well, I'm not saying I didn't, but now when it comes to her, you're just so protective.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
This is a woman who survived an attack from a brick hitting her in the nose on the set of Halloween. One of the greatest films of all our time. Have some respect. Have some respect. The curse is like, I'm going to bed. God.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So now the next day, they're all getting ready to go to the boat. And Jennifer is putting on earrings.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So in the next villa, Sutton and Garcelle sit to have a little chat over their coffee. And she's like, okay, well, listen, have you seen the girls? She goes, how could I see the girls? Like I've been perusing the neighborhood in my nightgown. I have some sense. And how would Kyle Richards feel if she knew her best friend was walking around in her nightgown?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
I get it. You want to back up. And it was hard for me to get back up because I was being backed up by Kyle Richards, which felt so amazing. And, you know, if she's backing me up and then I'm backing you up, we basically got a pyramid. And I don't have the upper body strength to do that. Do you understand? Okay.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah, so we see a clip of Kyle being like, oh, my God, you know, like all the stories out there. I'm aware. I'm aware of how famous I am, you know, and there's just so much curiosity about that person that I, you know, forced a tattoo on of myself and then, you know, fed vegetable kebabs at a memorial service.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And, you know, I don't know why anyone's curious about it, but I don't have to speak on anyone's behalf but my own. So Garth Bell's like, you know, how are we supposed to have a friendship if you're hiding your life?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah. And she's like, well, I did call Kyle's style hideous in the past, so... I guess this is my karma. Now I'm eating those words because we're twinning. She's come a long way.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah, but why shouldn't he? I mean, she left him. I agree. She left him for a young woman. And now everyone's like, I can't believe Mo is such a villain dating. Listen, let the man live his best life.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And it's not even Carl Outrage, really. It's everybody else trying to make it a big deal. So then they all go downstairs and start taking pictures. And Jennifer Tilly is taking a naked photo of herself in the pool.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And Sutton's like, why? Why is everybody else doing these thirst things? You know, I'm only thirsty for the material of my bathing suit. Vodka.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah. So now it's time to go on the catamaran. She's like, well, there'll be swimming, food, sunbathing, swimming, more swimming. And Garcelle's like, could someone be thrown overboard? Absolutely. Can't wait to see who. So now they get on the boat and stuff. And Erica's, you know, Erica's about to turn on Sutton because every time Erica does it, she butters her up first. That's so fucking funny.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
I wish they had like a montage that they showed of Erica doing this. So Sutton's like, please, excuse my butt in your face. She's like, oh, actually, it looks good. You look cute, girl. What are you weighing now, 100?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
She buttered her up, and then she gets her all happy and then just breaks her down.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah. So now they go to the buffet of cheese and they're eating, you know, they start getting their eating and stuff like that. And so Jennifer is standing there and she's like, um, Okay, do you need anything? And Kathy's like, do me a favor. Take my plate. Okay, thank you. Thank you so much.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yes. What is that, a fork? Yes. Oh, thank you, love. Could you hand me a napkin? And did you see any dressing over there? Is there any butter? Would you please get that? There's some crumbs on this table. That would be great if you could maybe de-crumb the table.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Now it's time for dinner. So they're ordering and Kyle's like, oh, I'll have this, but I don't want the mashed potatoes. And they're like, wait, please. Hang on, Missy. No one said that should be illegal. Says hold the mashed potatoes. And this is why I can never get behind Kyle. She says shit like that. Just stupid, ignorant shit.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And Kyle's like, yeah, if you're around Kathy, she's going to ask you to do things for her. You know, I mean, that's just how she is. Oscar nominee? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. So Sutton's like, yeah, there's a hierarchy. And Kathy's on the top. Thankfully, best friends with her sister. So I'm getting there. I'm getting there.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So Dorit asks about Kim and Kyle's like, she's good, but I don't see her. Like, how the fuck would I know? She's Kim. She's a mess. I don't want to talk about it. So then she's like, well, I haven't seen you three together in so, so long. And she goes, yeah, well, I mean, we're just not that close. So then we go to the other ladies and they're.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And it's interesting, too, because Dorit's kind of on the goods with Kyle right now, but she's bringing up another subject she knows Kyle does not want to discuss, which is Kim. You know, so I thought that was interesting. So then Erica is talking to Sutton like, oh, what happened to your hair?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
She's like, well, I just don't want it to fly off, you know. So, you know, guys, I was talking to Garcelle today about my apology to Dorit, and I really meant it. And I just want you all to know I'm in it. I wouldn't put them on my ears, okay? It was a thing I said. And listen, my name is Gonze, okay? I'm Gonze this. I'm Gonze it. Well, it wasn't a good thing to say. It wasn't a good thing to say.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
It was a terrible thing to say. It was terrible. I beat myself up about it. Thankfully, the gold chain I was beating myself up with was a lot more hurtful than what other pleather leather strap Dorit would be beating herself with because she's poor. But I do feel bad. Very bad.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
You know, why is everybody else getting canceled and kicked off shows when Kyle can get away with saying something so fucking hateful? Hold the mashed potatoes. Fuck off. Hold the mashed potatoes. I'm never buying another caftan again.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
The whole thing about this, I'm sorry, but just before we go on, because of all these clips they showed, they make it look like Sutton, and Sutton was...
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
the main one who would go after eric and be like but i've read this article and everyone else was like it's too long i couldn't read it but what pisses me off is she's doing all of this and then she's standing up for kyle later but it was kyle who was the one saying we're questioning eric on this if you're on a tv show you have to be questioned and that's just the way it is so we're gonna do it you know and now she's off like she didn't do anything and the only one being held to the fire is sutton and that's not fair
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And it's also not the same thing, Erica, when you're, it's a whole scandal that's all over the national news that you don't get to just talk about. Like, that's crazy. Of course you're going to answer. And then you come on making excuses for Tom and saying he's got dementia and all this other shit, trying to help his defense. Like, you don't just, you get questioned.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And none of this has anything to do with that. So, Erica, the fact that Erica, every fight, Erica brings it back. What about what was done to me last year? You fucking deserved it. And you're lucky that you got off and even got to come back and get a chance at redemption because you fucking deserve those questions. And you still do. There's so much stuff that they're not asking you right now.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So consider yourself lucky. I wouldn't piss off setting while you still got that Marco Marco thing going on because a lot of the audience doesn't even think about that one. And she could nail your ass with that one. So be careful, Erica.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah, and she's like, well, I mean, you do this thing, you say...
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And then we see the clip of her saying, I'm here for you. I got you a care package kit. Okay. There's chips. There's candy. There's champagne. There's handcuffs. Those are for sexuality, not for prison. And I'm here for you. And then kind of like confronting her and taking her down. And she goes, but then you turn around and call me a liar because you were lying about a lot of shit. That's why.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Okay. She did one thing. Then you lied about stuff. And then she asked you about the lying about stuff.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Of course it bothers me. She goes, okay, well, that's on you. That's not on me. She goes, no, it's on you for doing what you did. She goes, I apologize, Erica. She goes, well, I do accept your apology, but you still did it.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So she's like, how do you know you've been hard on Dorit? She goes, Dorit has been hard on me. She goes, I know this, but you're kicking a dog when she's at her lowest. Well, I apologize. I apologize, and then I apologize today. But I'm not going to be sitting here and put on trial by a judge and a jury like I'm a terrible person when I am not. I am not.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
I demand to have a jury of my peers, not a jury of my pores.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
They're like, but I thought you said that you forgave. I thought you said that you forgave Sutton, Erica.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
That was one of the worst reunion performances. Oh my God. She just looked crazy too. Oh my God. Whatever. She looked like a totally different person. That was, that was nuts. Yeah. So Sutton's like, you're not a real friend, Erica. You know what? I gave you up.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Do you know how many Jewish people I've tried to help get divorce lawyers when their husbands cheat?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
right uh well she's just trying to clarify she's just trying to clarify let's let erica clarify it sounds like oh my god carl's jumped ship now i can't believe it i can't believe that but sudden sticking to this whole thing now like you say i'm anti-woman oh shut up setting i'm not saying anti-woman i'm saving us anti-us i mean this group Anti-woman, how dare you?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
The problem with walking around naked, when you're with someone like Piggy.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So Sutton's trying to make it this much worse thing. And then she's like, what do y'all want from me? What do you want? Seriously, what do you want from me? I'm tired. I get blamed for everything. All you do is tell me I'm wrong constantly. Oh, God, man, you are not going to kick me when I'm down.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Which, of course, Kyle jumps to the wrong side. So they're like, oh, come on. So Dorit's in it now. She's like, come on, Sutton. And Sutton's like, pick on somebody else. But why is it okay for you to pick on people? And she goes, I'm not picking on anybody. You picked on me. It hurt. It's been three weeks of peen, pure peen.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah, please, speak English words. I don't understand what you're saying. And she's like, well, maybe if I did it in an English accent, it would work better for you.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Oh, really? What about bitching me home?
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Do you want to move forward? Do you want to move forward? Well, not right now. I'm good right now.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
well well well her actions have been saying all along but for the first time her words and actions match and this is why I don't believe your apology oh please you pick and you pick Sutton's right that Dorit just keeps picking and picking until Sutton gets pissed and then she goes there she is losing her temper well what you ordered don't order a hamburger and be mad that you got fries on the side
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
He's had like 30 breakdowns this season alone. It's not like it's your first time seeing him. So Sutton's like, this is not going to be Sutton on trial for Etsy. We are not doing that.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
She can deal with it. And Kyle's like, I mean, Sutton loves to start an issue and then just like create a whole chaos around it and then like act like a victim. Okay. She didn't start this though. You were sitting right there. She just said she meant for apology. Yeah. So then Erica's like, oh, she's triggered because she knows I'm right.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So Kyle goes to follow Sutton and Sutton's like, I just need to be by myself. Two seconds. Two seconds. I've got things to say. Very important things to say. And Kathy goes, these boat rides are... They're not really working. I don't think these are working.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Yeah, I guess that's why I'm not in a relationship, among other things, because I'm not doing any of that. Any of what she just said, I was like, yeah, that makes a lot of sense with my own life. I'm not getting naked. I'm not getting naked alone. I'm not going to get naked emotionally. I'm not going to get naked in any way. Put a jacket on. That's what I say. Put a hoodie over your emotions.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
She was great. I actually saw it. I wanted to see it when I lived there. It was playing when I lived there. I mean, it was a long time ago, but I couldn't get into it. Well, I couldn't afford to go see it. But they ended up doing a great performances taping of it. And it is so, so good. I loved it. And the lady from Third Rock from The Sun is in it. She was great on that.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
I can't remember anyone's name. Kristen Johnson? Yes, she was in it. And Miranda from Sex and the City was in it. I mean, it was incredible. The entire cast was amazing. But Jennifer Tilly was Crystal, the bad girl. You stole the husband.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
See, I just don't agree with any of the ladies today. I say just wake up as nasty as possible. And if they can take that, they can take anything. You know, I bet like my original pictures. I don't like put any airbrushed pictures on dating sites or anything like that. It's me just looking old and smelly. You know, and if you can take that, we can go on at least more than one date.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So it's like people ask you how old you are. You should always say a little bit older because then they're like, oh, my God, you don't look that old. And then you can feel good about it.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
It sounds like, well, those are those negative ions I'm always trying to tell you about, and you wouldn't listen to me. But now that you're here, getting negative ions, now they're acceptable. Well, I see how you are. She's like, well, all of a sudden, that positive attitude... So now Sutton's like rubbing her shoulder against Kyle because she's just besties with Kyle.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And we see another example of how just desperate Sutton is to be liked by people she considers popular. And it's so sad, but also so funny. It's like she got somewhat tacit approval from her mother this season. And so now she's moving on to her next biggest goal, Kyle Richards.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
It's like I've wanted, look how hard I've tried. I've just tried so hard to come back to a good place with you, Sutton. But
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
heart on the table and said well i think that we've both had times where we have failed each other so let's just go with the we both are terrible and let's just stay with that how do you feel about that derek sutton's already like starting to boil over her satanic eyes are like starting to come out
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So she's like, but wasn't the feud when she made that when Dorit made the alcoholic or the of course, there's alcohol in that drink comment. Yeah.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
So she's like, you're the one who wanted this group to have an attention. And then it was 48 hours and it's out the window. And then we see a flashback to two months earlier when Dorit wouldn't admit to being Teddy's friend. I love that we're trying to remember. It's in the notes. Dorit admitting she won't admit to being Teddy's friend.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And so Dorit's like, well, you know, a lot of it was we're going to have arguments, but we should be able to talk it out. Am I right, Sutton? Am I right? Yes.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
And Kyle's like, yeah, I mean, she meant it. She meant it when she said it. So that's something. And we see later that... Then Sutton turned to her and was like, thank you.
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#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue
Let me finish here. Let me finish. And she says, and then sometimes it turns and sounds like, okay, well, should I place my hand on a Bible? Should I? Because you know what? We're not doing this. I'm not going to do this again. You are not going to beat me with a stick. She gets so angry. She's so over the top. Just calm down, lady. Your head's going to pop off.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Yeah. Danger. I know we live in a time where everybody can have babies whenever they want. You know, we have Kenya Moore having a baby at 50 or whatever. And, you know, to each their own. I'm very tired. I'm almost 50. I mean, I've always been very tired, though. So I can't imagine having a baby when I was like 16.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
You know, but especially now and then in 20 years or whatever, when you have to go visit that kid's college or whatever. No, fuck that. Here's what I say. Just get more maids. You know, just keep getting maids. Just keep treating them well. Teach them, you know, be like your piano classes today.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Sorry. This just in, we just got the weather. You're alone.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So Sutton is getting her glam done because I'm going to Dorit's house and she's having a 4th of July barbecue party. And they're like, wow, that should be fun. She goes, well, we're going to play nice. Let's do it for the country. And so then we go to Erica's. So far. Yeah.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
hasn't worked so far playing nice for the country these days in our country little political commentary people discord so then we go to erica's cabana and um she's calling kyle because you know it's the housewives thing where they're each calling each other like are you going to the party what are you wearing to the party i'm going to the party are you going buddy are you gonna wear a bikini or one piece so we're doing that scene and erica's like are you excited for today i just got a couch made out of nathan's hot dogs from all my furniture
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
No, but, you know, Kyle has to talk to you because she has no one left. So she just hangs up. So now we go to dreams.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Just their cousin that no one wants to hang out, just the iceberg lettuce, the head of iceberg lettuce just sitting over there like, how do I have any vitamins?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So then we go to Dorit's house and she's setting up for her 4th of July party. And there's a snow cone thing and a bouncy house. And so basically Phoenix comes out and she's dressed all cute and stuff.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
You know, it's like really sticking her. So then she's like, oh my God, it's like all the pictures from the movie Halloween. I'm not in any of them. So then Dorit's guests start coming and we don't know any of them really. And then Dorit is very sad, waxing about PK. She goes upstairs to change and she's like, this year, PK is not here. And it differently feels like there's something missing.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I've just left sour cream and onion out on the countertop. Still nothing. It's like coming down on Christmas morning and finding no cookies eaten.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I guess I'll just wait. I guess I'll just wait. So she sits down, not even on the couch. She's sitting on an end table. What is she sitting on? But she's like, I will not even sit on that couch. God knows what's happened on that couch. So she just sits on like a little end table or something and looks at her phone.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Yeah. And, you know, Dorit's upstairs looking for a stupid chain. She's like, I'm just looking for a booty chain. And I don't want to leave people downstairs, but I've got to find my chain. And Sutton's just like, well, I guess I'll just sit. No one's here to invite me onto the couch. So I guess I'll sit on this end table. I just don't appreciate this.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And then we get a classic Dorit making somebody wait scene where we just see the person get more and more annoyed as the time ticks on on the screen. And now it's 1.22. And then it's 1.27. And then it's 1.30. And then she sees a kid fall down the inflatable slide. And she's like, I don't know those people. Disgusting.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And now it's 1.39, and so it's basically 20 minutes, and still there's no one to greet her. I mean, I can see being annoyed. If she got annoyed at this point, I would be like, okay, I get it. But she walked in annoyed. I'm like, how could you not have somebody to greet me? Okay. Quiet down over there. You're lucky that the house is even still standing and hasn't been taken yet by the bank, okay?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
She's getting you back. Slowly but surely she'll get you back. So this is season 14, episode 12, the land of the free, the home of the shade. We're still at Sutton's house.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Well, there's also a whole party outside that's just like, I'm not talking to those people. I mean, if I was at that party, I would have gone out and been like, hello, I'm Mayor Ronnie. Is this your baby? Let me hold it. Anyone want to take a picture of us? I'll take your vote in September. Thank you. Voting is in November, sir.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Yeah, I mean, it's a party. You know, you go in and you say hi to everybody, but it's setting. So she's like, well... I guess I'll just sit here with a stick firmly planted up my butthole and I will wait on an end table.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
At the very least, it's a chance to go through someone's shit. You know what I mean? Or if it's your enemy, you can start planting evidence around their house for your murder. I don't know. Put your wallet in their vegetable bin in their fridge. And then later she could be like, someone stoke! my wallet, wait a minute, it's by the iceberg in the fridge. And Kyle will be like, wait a minute.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
You know, I have to say we were talking earlier this week in our traders recap available on Patreon about Tom Sandoval's kind of redemption in the audience's eyes, at least where it's like you realize, yeah, I mean, he's still Tom, but Tom was funny before he fucked up, you know, and that it took a really long time for Tom to redeem himself. We were just talking about that.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Yeah. I wouldn't care. So Dorit's like, I just need another chain. I need one that says mama. Yeah. So she wears one that says mama, you know. So then now Carl is there. And, you know, first of all, you know that the mom called Dorit upstairs and was like, the bitch is here. And she's like, oh, let's make her wait.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
You know, I have a feeling that they knew very well that Sutton was there and just made her wait. The mom's like, don't make me go out there alone. She's like, okay. Mm-hmm. So now Kyle's there and she's like, should I wear this? I'm feeling self-conscious.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I mean, okay, but weren't you mad that... Mauricio changed one picture in his own office. Weren't you just crying about that for three episodes?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I think she does it so when Wells Fargo comes to take back the house, she can go, he's the one you need to be chasing.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So then Sutton is still being ignored because now Kyle goes to talk to Dorit when Dorit comes downstairs. And Sutton's like, well, I'll just sit here and do the same thing I've been doing. Stewing. Glad I could come. Glad. Can I leave now? Can I go now? I have never been so offended in my goddamn life.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Not quite, but she will get there soon. So Kyle's doing the whole like, oh my God, look at all the pictures of PK. Jesus Christ. I mean, it looks like biscuits cooking. Could you just take all these pictures down? I'm trying not to eat carbs right now. She's like, thanks for making me look at it, Kyle. Thanks a lot. And so Dorit talks a little bit to the mom.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
You know, the mom comes in and says hi. And Dorit's like, well, seeing Kyle and Sutton be the first to arrive at the party is a little bit awkward. They were definitely not my first choice to arrive. In the spirit of having fun, that's exactly what we're going to do.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And I was thinking, you know, a case study on how quickly somebody can kind of redeem themselves is Reba. I mean, Reba, the first week she was on, was probably one of the most hated parents I'd ever seen on a Housewives show. Like, immediately. The comments were, you know, and rightfully so. I mean, she's just, you know, she's like a sticker in your butt.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Listen, you're the only one out of the three of us that hasn't had expensive purses stolen for insurance purposes. Your turn. It's like, nope, I better get that back.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Well, we have to go. And what's her buns? Sutton said on the after show that production made her do that. Because Dorit was sitting there giving a soliloquy. And they were like, gotta get on the road, people. And Dorit knows that. And she's still giving Sutton shit for it. Dun, dun, dun. Shady. Yeah. I mean, just, but like, even without knowing that, put your pain in a capsule.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
You know what I mean? Logline it. Okay. Pretend to, just give me the elevator pitch. Give me the elevator pitch of what's going on with you and Jagger.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So she's like, well, I'd be prepared to forget about more things that Sutton has done or said to me if she gives me this handbag. That bitch has a tight ass grip. So she won't give it up. So now they go outside and Garcelle comes and kind of trips.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Because they can't get back up. Their pants are too tight. Like their clothes are too tight. Like at one point when Sutton throws down her little tiara or whatever later and Kyle goes to pick it up. I mean, that was one of the best parts of the show for me, watching Kyle try to bend down to get that thing.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
That's so coming from my house when I was a little kid. Any of my parents' friends.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Grand jetés. Yeah, I did it for a while. I thought I was a ballet dancer for a while because I saw it on TV. And my mom was like, you could do anything, honey. And, you know, it's the kind of confidence that gets people put in jail, you know, just show up on the stage one day. It's me!
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
But by the end, I was like, wow, I like Reba. Who knew? I mean, the woman in three weeks went from a complete villain to, well, I kind of like Reba.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I thought that was funny, personally. And then Sutton's like, oh, Dorit, shut up. You are such a bitch.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And don't say there's alcohol in it. I mean, don't start with that. It's not nice.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I mean, that shit's funny to me. It's always been funny to me. I don't care. And also, while everybody's so infuriated about this, let's not forget who brought this story up in the first place was Kyle. This was Kyle who made this insinuation to start. So Sutton's like, that is just hurtful, you know? And two, it's not true. And now she's just being a bitch to be a bitch.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So Dorit's like, well, if you could do me a favor.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Thank you for having me. Seriously. Thank you for having me. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Well, I'll just call you bitch and go. Is that what we're doing now? Bitch and boy. And so I'm out. I am out. Is anybody going to follow me? Because I am leaving. I'm leaving right now. Who gave her that little tiara, by the way? She wasn't wearing that when she got there, was she?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Was she just wearing this little gold tiara the whole time?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Well, she does get super mad when you talk about her drinking, though. And you know who else does that, which is odd? Alcoholics. So anyway, Kyle's like, son, please don't go. Please don't go, son. She's like, why? Why? I'm not going to get anywhere with her. I'm not going to do this. I mean it. I mean it. I am leaving. I'll leave in as much time as she made me wait.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Okay, that's how long this walkout's going to take.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I was like, I don't care. Just bring me one. Bring me one. Also, Dorit's the one who saw no problem when she across the table went, you know what, Camille?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So silly. I hate that rule. You can't call me a bitch in my own home. Then don't be a bitch in your own home. Like, what do you want me to do? You don't get free reign just because it's your house to abuse me and call me an alcoholic. How dare you, ma'am.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Well, yeah, but Camille changed. Like she changed it up because she didn't want to be the most hated. So she went from being villainous, like just downright dirty. And then the second season, she kind of changed her game. Whereas I think someone like Reba is more heroic in a way because she didn't change shit, except she smiled once.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So it's like, Lordy, have mercy. So now Sutton's almost made it to the front door and Kyle's running after her, you know, in those tight-ass jeans.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
You just hear, I'm trying to run, but it's really hard.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
What? What, Kyle? And Garcelle's like, listen, I know you didn't want to come here, and you were the bigger person. You came. Good for you. I'd like to celebrate it by awarding you a drink with alcohol in it.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Yeah, it's a lot. I love when Garcelle says the most obvious thing to the audience, but acts like she's just solved a mystery. She's like, I think that Sutton might be offended because she wanted to take the high road, but now Dorit's acting like this. Oh, wow. That's good.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So Bose comes up in a crazy dress. Yeah. I don't know where half these people are going on this show. But she shows up in like a little baby blue kind of like wedding cocktail dress. And she's like, hello, it's me. And she goes, excuse me, bitches. And they're like, oh, no, no, don't use that word today.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And so people are like, oh my God, okay, maybe she's just kidding. And so they liked her.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
We're not going to start with that word.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
She goes to hide in the hallway. It's so fucking funny. And so Boze is like, what's going on? You started something ourselves? She goes, no, why are you saying me? She goes, I was just joking. I said bitches. No, no, don't say it.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And hugs her, and she's like, honestly, perfect timing. I was waiting for normal to arrive, and good energy, and then my little Easter egg came.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So Garcelle's like, we understand. We really do. I was being nice about getting that nasty ass watermelon drink. It was terrible.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So she's like, well, just hang on now. Can't we just all get another nasty drink? Come on. And it's like, I am done. I am done. Sutton just Suttoning. So then Sutton rips off her gold tiara and throws it on the floor.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And Garcelle's like, a kid can get hurt with that, Sutton. Please, let's be serious.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And Kara's like, I'll say something. I'll do it. I'll say something. So now she's going to talk to Dorit.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
She does that thing with her head and crosses her eyes. Yeah. But she was berating you because you were berating her in the first place for doing walkouts. See, it's like hard to find where this all begins. Like who was the first immature storm out? You know, we have to go all the way back in history.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I don't care. I love it. And I love a housewife walkout. I love especially this show this season they're doing and where they never really walk off. They just walk to a different room. I will sit right here. I'm going to be by the front door. I'm going to show her. I'm gone.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So now we go to Carl and Dorit. So she's like, can I talk to you for a second? I don't think she's going to stay without some encouragement from you. And I don't know if you want to do that or not. She's like, well, it sounds like the two of you, more than anyone, are going to be the people that are going to get her to say. Now, it's certainly not going to be me. She called me a beach.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And guess where she did it? In me own home. What would Jennifer Lopez think? What would Mark Anthony think? Sure, this isn't their home, but I've lived in one of their homes. They'd be very upset that someone at their former address has been caught a beach in their own home.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
But you know what? It's also Sutton just drinking too much and getting mad and having fits. I mean, I think if – listen, as someone who often drinks too much and cries a lot and has fits, when someone asks me if I have a problem with alcohol, I just say – my only problem is that my glass is empty. Could you please fix that? Like, I don't care. Like who cares?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I mean, I just had a drunken fit and now's not the time to cry about it. You know what I mean? I think you shouldn't be so defensive about someone making an alcohol joke.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So Dorit's like, why are you making such a huge deal of rejuke?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Well, then why isn't it kind of a joke that she said, shut up, bitch? I mean, who cares? Like, why are you taking the word bitch so seriously? I don't know. Everyone's so ridiculous, and that's why I love this show, because it literally becomes the entire episode, flying over this stupid stuff. And guess what Sutton's saying? I'll give you $100 if you can guess. You can't? She's going...
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I am Gongo. Hello. Hey, does anyone have a little sticker that says, hello, my name is? Because mine would say, hello, my name is Gongo.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So, no, I'm sorry. That would be if I wanted you to stay. I'd say, please, you can't go. No, I'm Gongo. No, Gongo. Kungo, kungo. Damn it. Beat me in my own game.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
She should be doing hot dogs because I've never seen somebody say, I want my once in a year hot dog. More times than Erica did today. Like, are you selling the hot dogs? Jesus woman, have your hot dog.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
The myth. The myth that Sutton's a drunk. So now Kathy comes in and she's like, hello. And meanwhile, Bones is like, is that Kathy? Why is everybody over there by the door? Because that's what Sutton does. She gets him upset, calls you a bitch, and then gets him to surround front duels.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So she comes in there and she's like, can we all just enter the house?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
We're waiting for the prop woman to give us a bottle of Tito's to leave in the driveway. So she actually makes it out the front door. No offense.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
This little blue cheese olives along the ground all the way to Sutton's house. It's the only way she gets her exercise. So then Bose is like, well, come on, the congregate here at the front is like Dorit is hosting a party in here. Can we go to the party? And Garcelle goes, oh, stop being Dorit's spokesperson. Okay, ma'am, in charge of the office of the Strack.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I even said it to Bueller today. I was like, Bueller, get some couth.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So now Kyle's like, I mean, at this point, it's just like actually annoying because like once again, Boze is team Dorit without knowing any backstory. And she just comes in and automatically defends Dorit without knowing anything. Like, you're going to scold me. And Boze is like, well, I just said like nobody needs to coddle her. And Dorit's like, did you say that?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Did you say nobody needs to coddle that alcoholic? She's like, no, should I try again?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And they're also all being rude by sitting there, like, slinging around the F word and the B word when there's children in the house. Like, if we're just going to start clutching our pearls, I can clutch them with the best of them. And I love when Sutton's like, she needs to stop that fucking shit. I want some more fucking manners.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Now there's a commercial that makes sense. Erica with just hot dogs being thrown at her face. You know, finally.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And I think one of the long lasting classic things that keeps people coming back is that Beverly Hills, they're rich. So everybody assumes that means they're classy. No, they're trashy. This is Los Angeles. This is trash with money, okay? And that's why it's so funny because they all think they know what manners are. And you all don't know manners.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And Dorit, you say you know manners, you're married to PK. I mean, if that guy's not a stain on the tablecloth.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Yeah, they made money I think while they were together. They built their empire together. So, Sutton, guess what Sutton's saying. It's nice to actually have Sutton have a change of topic, at least in this episode.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
She's such an asshole. Like, what are you even talking about? First of all, your business is not doing great. You're selling jumpsuits that say name them for like God knows how much money. Your store in West Hollywood is closed. I think she opened one in Texas or something, but you're doing that all with husband money. I mean, come on, lady. Give me a break. Sorry, your businesses can't last.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
But I have a website. Well, guess what? So does Beverly Beach. You want to start that one?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I love an asshole. You know what? I was searching for businesses that also have websites, and I searched Kyle by Aileen2, and that did not show up. It just showed up that it closed. But guess what does have a website? Aileen2. She just kept Aileen2. She just kicked Kyle off of it.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
so then we go over to Dorito and she's talking to Bose and inviting her over for the 4th of July party and so then we are back with Sutton so Sutton is in the kitchen and Avi is just ready to get the fuck out of this house Avi is just like please get me away from this woman And Kyle comes in, and she's still sweating from her run, guys, because she's really healthy now. It's really hard.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Aileen2. Good for Kyle. Yeah. And she sells little kid shoes with, like, rainbow unicorn horn straps and glitter shoes and, you know, a couple of caftans. So you go, Aileen, too. So how dare you disparage Aileen, too, Sutton?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Kyle by Shahidi. Oh, Kyle by Shahad, right? Kyle... I don't remember. Kyle by Shahida. The lounge loungewear queen. Kyle by Shahida is still around. You can get it at Kyle by Shahida.com.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Loungewear dresses, red jackets. I, I patch things.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Robes with Paris on them or something. No kimonos. Wow. She went down the kimono route. Hmm. Interesting. Yeah. Whole kimono line. Okay, so Kathy's like, did she really leave? And Garcelle's like, well, yeah, she did. Can I at least get a hot dog?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Way too sexy, way too sexy. So then she sees some churros and she's like, oh, those look good. What are those tacos? Save me some of those. Save me some of those. So now Erica and Garcelle are talking and basically they're regathering in that backyard area, right? And so Erica's like, why'd the bitch leave? And Garcelle's like, well, she didn't feel welcomed.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I'm gone go. Well, you did lead the charge, Dorit, when you said, of course there's vodka in her drink.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So Jerusek, excuse me. I need to check on my BBs and see if they can still look me in the eye after I've been caught a beach in my own home.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And Erica's back on Broadway, so she's got red leather gloves and she's doing a lot of Broadway hand things.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
She was the worst. So, you know, I mean, she has a point. Bo is up Dorit's ass, but Garcelle is also up Sutton's ass. So it's a weird fight. It's a weird proxy war. But I love this kind of little argument between Bose and Garcelle. Because really, at the end of the day, neither one of them care. They're just like, whatever. So they kind of fight it out.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And Garcelle's like, well, it seems like you're one-sided. I mean, did you not say that she has not been welcoming to you? And she goes... Well, yeah, I mean, it's not like I think that Kyle's a cold-hearted bitch. I didn't say that. I just said we haven't connected, and Kyle's getting all, she's like, okay, it's my turn. It's my turn.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
You need to talk about purses, you know?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Yeah, talk about Birkins and she'll be there. So Boze is like, the vibes aren't vibing with Kyle, okay?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Is this an improv class or solo? I'm not doing it. And so then we see where Kyle visited Bose in bed. Like that's supposed to be a great example of Kyle being warm, but Kyle was only there to turn Bose against Dorit in the first place. So that didn't really work. And she was sort of snappy.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I know this fight is stupid, but I think that Bo's going to Kyle's sister and shit talking her sister was shitty. I think that was shitty. And I think Kyle was like, look, it hurt my feelings. You want to talk to my sister. That's not cool to do. And if you have an issue or you want to get closer to me, why don't you call me and talk to me about stuff?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Like, I think that but Kyle just doesn't know how to argue, you know, so now Kyle is turning it into like, well, but I am warm.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Anyway. So it sounded like it went well. Hmm. And like, oh my God, you made up with your mom. And she's there. She's just suddenly there in the room, you know? And she goes, wow. Well, hello. She goes, well, it sounds like you had a fun time chatting. Sam, chatty this morning.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Oh God, she does it all the time, Kyle. Like, I've invited Camille to the party, you know?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So then we have this moment where she's like, well, you're hard on me. And Bozo's like, okay, well, how? How would I have been hard on you? And then Kyle has to dig.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So she's like... So she goes, you've never even met PK. And Dorit goes, well, why does she need to meet PK? And she goes, well, I'm talking to her right now about this situation, Dorit. And she goes, about my life?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
It's about my life. I'm chiming in, bitches, clocking in. It's like, oh my God, she's not even talking about your life. She's talking about a conversation that we're having about your life.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Just what are you talking about? Well, I don't. I literally thought to myself today, what's going on with Coyle?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
She goes, I didn't pick up anything that she said. I've been quiet. I just said, if you're going to talk about me leaf, talk about me leaf with me. And then Kyle goes, oh, yeah. Well, this is what you're doing.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Who's Morgan Wade? How long have you been dating her? Did you leave your husband for Morgan Wade, or was that after? And did your husband cheat on you because you keep insinuating that he did, but you've given no proof, and he said nothing? So... There, to start.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Girl sounds like she's not screaming.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Fresh and clean, fresh and clean. Well, it feels like I'm being clawed at. And so Carl's like, okay, okay.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
It's been emotional and it's just going to be hard to leave because I haven't felt this way with my mother since sophomore year in college. When, you know, mama came, when we walked, we talked. I just, I didn't want her to leave then either. And I don't want to, I don't want to leave now. What happened on the sophomore year in college? Was she drunk?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So they decide that they're going to still be friends and they calm down because this fight wasn't even about them. The good part of the fight was between Bose and Kyle and Dorit just completely interrupted that fight and ruined it.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So now Kyle is going to pretend she's going to make up with Dorit because it saves her from having to actually fight with somebody who knows what they're doing, who is Bose. So she's like, peace.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Don't be a douche. Did we mention that? Did I just miss that? I don't know. I think we did skip over that part. So Doreen's like, Coyle, I just want you to know I do love you and I want to take you somewhere you're comfortable. The closet, let's go. So they head over and then Kathy goes, yeah, and don't forget, you love each other. And Bozo's like, don't interpret for them.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
She goes, oh, okay, you're right, you're right.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Well, she was joking because she goes, you might get in trouble with that one. Right. Trying to say something in the street.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Shut up. So then they go upstairs and then Kathy's like, well, with this group, you know, let's just not make mountains out of Moe Hills. It's Moe Hills. Is it Moe Hills out of mountains? Is there a hill of Moes? How do you climb that hill? Does that hill take other rocks from other mountains to make its own mountain bigger?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
She can't afford a maid anymore because her ass is broke because her and PK have been pretending to have money for years now, and now it's gone. That's what it is. But okay, we'll lean into the trauma for the sake of this show.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So they talk about their marriages and what do you do? And like, it's just so hard because I was with him, but now I'm not with him. And it's the same thing over and over.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So they start talking about closets and Kyle's like, I mean, like Mo left and it was just separated.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So Torea's like, well, you take a little bit that's yours. But are you thinking he's going to come back to the closet? And Kyle's like...
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I'm just like, well, you started out for six months, right? And how's that going?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I like that Kyle is relating all of this to the lockdowns during the pandemic when it's just like, I thought I was going to learn to make bread and, I don't know, learn to play the piano.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
It's hard. So she's like, well, if we're not going to get back together, we're going to get a divorce. And she goes, but are you going to get back together?
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I'm really going to make this last as long as I can. Okay. So she says they're in denial about their situation and they just keep going on. And, you know, I think that's good. I'd like a good Real Housewives of New Jersey kind of a divorce where they're you just don't get divorced or you're divorced. You still live together or I don't know. It doesn't have to be like that. Just stay together.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
You're rich as fuck and you can do whatever you want apparently. So why not just stay together? Keep it simple people.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And Dorit's like, here's what we do, Kyle.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I was like, oh, for Christ's sake. Dorit eating a potato fresh from the ground.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And she says, well, I'll be glad that some of you are gone. But then she laughs. She's like, ha, ha, ha. I'm just joshing you. So look, everybody's just so close now. And it's time for them to leave. And Kyle's like, normally, hold on, guys. This is a feel sorry for Kyle moment, everybody.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Well, we're not getting back together any time soon. That I can tell you, Coyle. And by the way, Coyle! I would like a minute to just think about what I want.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
me breath i just what is he doing is he acting like a single man and kyle's like well i mean like i think we would know i mean it's kind of hard to do that in our world without without knowing about it because the paparazzi are everywhere so then we see one weeklet oh by the way i have an announcement to make i think it was on this show we were talking about small airports and i was talking about el paso and how there's still a knife shop in there well i haven't been to el paso in 20 years at least the airport
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And I heard that they did eventually get rid of the knife shop like a decade ago. So to everyone looking for a knife in the El Paso airport, sorry, but it's a decade gone. That's too bad. Goodbye, knife shop. I believed in you.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Well, he has said things like, you'll die with nothing in your account. But I'm not really sure what he meant by that. You know, he goes off sometimes. So then we see one week later, voiceover, Mauricio Mansky was caught with a mystery woman. The real estate mogul touched down in Mykonos where he was photographed collapsing into the arms of a hot blonde wearing a sheer cover up over a dark bikini.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I love they try to make it sound like news headlines when they're like, and here's what she was wearing.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Oh, maybe that's why. Yeah, well, maybe they added this in later. But we see that Mauricio was caught making out with that real estate chick. And then we see another headline. Mauricio Umansky's mystery woman identified as Russian-born actress who's 20 years younger than Kyle Richards' ex and is in a movie with Alec Baldwin.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And then we see him kissing this girl in front of an Avis, Avis rented car, which I thought was really funny. And then Erica is FaceTiming Kyle.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Please stop singing in my home. Jesus Christ. Those columns are strong, but not strong enough.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And she's like, well, I guess Christmas. I mean, that's a good time. And she goes, well, I'll write it down and hold a little sign up. How's that? I don't remember my mother saying that to me. And she's like, okay, well, let's not go back into your mother's history, okay? I love you, mother. And she goes, I love you too, Sutton. And they're like, what? Fireworks go off in the background.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
And then she just kind of gives a bow like, there. Are you fucking happy? I did it.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So they hug and listen, I know I'm being cold to Kyle. I get that she's sad and she's lonely because her house is empty. You left your husband. I don't know with Kyle. I just like you're in the middle of some woman's in the house, house in the South and you're still making about.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Yeah, her boyfriend's going to be getting some tonight, that Ken guy or whatever his name was. And then, you know, she does the real sweetest thing in the whole time, which I miss my Meemaw doing, which is when they say bye, like they're a baby asking for a bottle. They go, bye-bye. Bye-bye.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
This cracked me up. I think this is, you know, in character development moments, this is a huge one for Boze, that she makes her assistant bedazzle mirrors from Walgreens so that there's drooling. I thought that was so fucking funny. So she's waiting for her cousin. Her cousin comes over and they're like, sisters, me and my cousin. And look at that mirror.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
talking and she's doing that thing where she's putting gold flakes in their tea which is weird or whatever they're having their drinks why don't what is it with gold flakes i mean i get it i hear that silver like if you go to the chiropractor he'll give you liquid silver and that's supposed to do something i don't know for health so i don't even know but what does gold even do except give you a little speck in your poop
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
I say put it in Nico. That's what I suggest. It'll come out wearing like a fabulous little duster and have a bedazzled mirror. So they haven't met with a fertility doctor yet, but she's in Vegas and she's flying here because, you know, L.A., no fertility doctor. It's important.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Well, it is hard to find a fertility doctor in L.A. that isn't there waiting at birth for the baby to pop out so they can start marking up its face with a Sharpie and being like, you need to get higher boobs. OK, I'm going to need higher boobs from you.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Yeah, he's the Instagram one. He's like whatever people get free fertility shit for posting on Instagram or whatever. So she's going to have a very fancy one. But the problem is Keeley.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
So she's like, well, what if we don't get the results we want? And you're rich. You just... Morph the baby into whatever you want. I mean, can we do things like gene, gene designing and stuff where you like pick the genes that you want your baby to have? Or I don't know. You can go through like sperm books and pick the perfect sperm and stuff. I don't know. You're rich enough.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
You just figure out how to have the baby you want. You know, I feel like it's up to the poor people who don't. We're stuck with whatever we get. You know, whoever you fuck is what you end up with. But I feel like with her kind of money, you can change that baby's looks, its posture, its hobbies, everything in the in the womb. Right.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Oh, babies. I don't know. Look, if I was going to go to a fertility doctor, I would just be like, fill me up with disappointment so I'm not phased later. Because I think like no matter what you do, your kid's eventually going to come out and at some point it's going to go, fuck you.
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#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever
Well, if it's a carom baby, at least. So then Tina's like, well, how does this Keeley guy feel? She's like, I don't know. I called his number and someone with a different name answered. But then I called it again and he answered. So I'm not really sure. That took a while to clear up. I do not trust Keeley. I don't trust him for two seconds.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I agree.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
And she's talking about being a model. She's like five, six. I just, I don't know. I don't, there's a lot that I don't buy. And then she showed up to the summer house premiere, like literally wearing a bandaid girl. It is like.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
march it's very cold it's february in new york city like i'm i'm both worried for her i think that's what it is it's probably just the anti-van needs to pull up and just give her some blankets and say put these on and let me teach you about men okay um so anyway what was i saying before i got all upset that there was a child in my in my show Oh, yeah. So I think Bailey had the correct opinion.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
She walked in and was like, what the fuck? I'm supposed to fuck these people? No, hell no. No, no, no. Because that whole show is like The Bachelor. You know, you're supposed to show up and you're supposed to fuck people. You're supposed to be at least ready to fuck them at the end, you know, along with three other people for your mother to watch on TV.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
but you're also supposed to make out and give your traumas. And I think she was like, I'm not doing that with these people. Are you nuts? I'm not even coming back. And I love that for her that she's just some Tik TOK girl. Who's like, I don't need this show. I get more views on Tik TOK. Bye.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Who's on a television? You know, that's like for the news. That's like for my grandma to watch or whatever. So I kind of like that. She's back to doing like elbow dances or whatever.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I don't know, but I can tell you this. They're not shooting more money at anybody right now in TV. Anything they can do with the dollar, they're going to do it. So that's that. We're kind of just watching this war unfold. But if I was Southern Charm, I would not take on the cast of Summer House. That cast has the girls, all of them.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I mean, really, probably even Lexi by the end of the season will be able to fight in a decent way because I'll train her ass, you know. But you've got Lindsay. You've got Sierra. You've got Paige. You've got Amanda. Amanda will wind your damn head off.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Southern Charm! Please stop. Just stop the fighting. Paige and Sierra will eviscerate them. Lindsay will threaten their lives. And then Amanda will just wind them to death for the final nail in the coffin. So team North. Team North.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
That's like cutting Rosa's turn at a gypsy. Like, why would you do that? It's just not fair.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I'm not here to watch the dancing cow.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Oh, good. I'm great mentally. I mean, I slept all last week because I was sick. And so I just slept and it was amazing. But one thing that happens when you do that is you read a lot of Reddit. Well, I read a lot of Reddit, you know. So I was reading a ton of Bravo news. Yeah. First up is a sad one is that Teddy has like brain tumors and stuff. Ted has brain tumors, which is so sad. So
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
So that is a pretty light drama, but it's been keeping me reading for whatever reason. So then today, some news came out that I was so excited to read because I feel like the world can't properly start to heal. Well, first of all, the world hasn't stopped being attacked. It can't heal until it's stopped attack, but it can't begin to I don't know.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
We can't begin to mentally heal from everything that's happened from the last season of Jersey without knowing who's going to stay, who's going to go. I mean, that's a big question. So today I saw the headline, Real Housewives of New Jersey, season 15 cast revealed. Find out who was retained by Bravo and who was fired. And I should have known when I clicked and it was OK Magazine.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Listen here, Oklahoma Magazine. I'm not going to be tricked by you anymore. This is the last time.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Okay.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Here's some headlines. Hey, Dolores, we need a statement. What magazine is this? Okay. Okay.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
None of this is true. This is a bunch of bullshit. None of it is true. They're saying that... This is how they're wording it. Three Real Housewives of New Jersey stars have been retained by the network, and now OK can exclusively confirm who they are. Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga, and Dolores Catania. Dun, dun, dun. And guess who the source is?
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
kim de paula confirmed the news uh it's not seriously kim de paula because the thing is like knowing okay magazine it really is oh my god it really is kim it's really kim now come on now you know we love some kim d at this show but that cannot be your only source okay magazine Wow.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Yeah. So some of it's still fun to read because the rest of it says the insider spilled. The other women, Margaret Josephs, Danielle Cabral and Rachel Fuda, were not given retention notices. And at this time, Bravo's not pursuing them for a spot or any other projects. Fuda was being considered, but her husband's too much of a pain in the ass and they didn't feel like it was worth it.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Listen, a husband who goes and makes his own IMDB page and takes headshots of himself with a little Gucci sticker stuck on his glasses or whatever the hell that was. Never trust that man. He's going to be a pain in the ass, you know?
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
One good burger, one good fry, one good beverage, $12.59. You're stuck home.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Stuck home syndrome. As for Gorga, the source noted the decision may be shocking, but Bravo loves the dynamic her husband brings to the show. He's just so funny and the viewers love him. And they're saying while no official decisions have been made, which means you lied in your headline, you fuckers. The insider explained what they believe what will happen.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
As far as where the women will wind up at this point, it's looking likely Jersey will be led by Melissa and Dolores and Teresa will be given a spinoff. No, I don't see that happening.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
No.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I just don't understand the trying to sell a sprinkle cookie to me. That's like the dumbest thing ever. It's like trying to perfect a, I don't know. Like sawdust. Like who wants that? That's gross. I don't want to buy it. I don't, I don't need it. Just keep that away from me. Perfect something else.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Like there's so many other things like perfect a chocolate chip cookie, you know, like, I don't know. There's a lot of cookies to perfect, but the sprinkle, the sprinkle cookie. No.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
But, um, especially when the whole point was they were store-bought and they were thrown in the trash. Like, How is that a consumer thing that you get in people's head like, hmm, that sounds good? Oh, like the sprinkle cookies they threw in the trash on Jersey? You know what? Let's pay a premium price for that. Send me 18 boxes.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
And otherwise I've just been reading Craig and page news. Cause that's all there. I mean, that's mostly what's out there is like, Oh my God, pageant Craig broke up and then war is breaking out between the two fandoms, I guess. And cast kind of.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Jennifer says, whatever, Ronnie, you'd love an M&M cookie. Yes, I certainly would. I love cookies. I'm just saying out of all the cookies you're picking the gross, not gross. It's just useless. I see a sugar cookie and I see a useless, not a sugar cookie. Sugar cookies are amazing. A sprinkle cookie.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Yeah, I'm still going to see those Girl Scout cookies. I'm watching you little fuckers. I'm watching you.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
10 boxes in my stomach look what they've done to my waddle look at this okay so someone here let me see who said this growing off grid with derrick and gabby asks the white lotus did you guys watch did you watch you um i'm going to i spent last night watched um the reason why i haven't watched it is because i know why you didn't you were watching the snl thing just like everybody else in the fucking world you know what put that on your thing and watch white lotus white lotus needs us
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I was like, yeah, the past couple, they've gotten really messy on that show. That was the next one's the one where Phaedra's like, fuck you. Bye. Bye, bitches. I don't need you. So that one was good. White Lotus was good. I loved White Lotus. I thought it was great. It was a really – I mean, I'm in it just for the cinematography alone. If for nothing else, I mean, it is gorgeous.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I'm in it for the monkeys. There's a very strong monkey presence, which I appreciate. And then you have Parker Posey doing a southern lady, which is great. And then there's – I think there's a storyline where the brothers are going to fuck. I'm not sure what's up with that, but – Why not? Hey, I haven't seen that in a while.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Yeah. So, yes, I did watch that. But that's not Bravo, so we won't go on.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Oh, I knew her. I knew her.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I knew her. I knew her. Okay, so let's get into some Bravo news. Well, kind of.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Is that what you're asking?
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
That doesn't settle. The jaw is the jaw. It's not a settling implant.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
All right, well, why don't we start out with a little bit of Southern Charm versus, not Southern Hospitality, what's the Northern one? The North versus the South, they're calling it. It's the new Civil War, Summer House in the North versus Southern Charm in the South. First, we've got an innocent breakup, and then it turns out it wasn't so innocent because everyone's going for each other.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Okay, well, that's good. I didn't watch it. I chose White Lotus because I have taste. I'll watch SNL later when I can FF through a lot of it.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Yeah, Team White Lotus for good. So then this news is weird. This is weird news. Okay, so it's weird because I'm even bringing it up. Because it's Anna Marie Wiley news. Oh, yeah. Who ever thought... We'd be bringing that up again, bringing Anna Marie news up again. But here we are in 2025 and it's getting crazy. So here's how it started for me. I happened to see this posted. Guess where?
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
The national news. Just kidding. Read it. Honored. This is from her Instagram. Honored to be invited to the White House to celebrate Black History Month, which didn't he cancel that?
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I would have loved if she showed up bragging and it had been canceled. I think that he reinstated it because there were a lot of people coming or something, but I think a few days before Black History Month, I think he canceled it, but I'm not sure.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Well, at first, I thought Well, Trump has done the first thing that I'm going to cheer him on for, which is trick Anna Marie into going to the White House for a party. I thought he was going to like totally ghost her, which would have been amazing. So here's a post. I look forward to personally thanking the president for taking a stand to protect women's sports. And then she this is her.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
That's the picture post. Well, she puts the invite in there. And then this is the text post. I didn't leave the Democratic Party. The Democratic Party left me a black woman in America. For my entire life, I was a proud Democrat.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
But that changed when I was very publicly and intentionally vilified and character assassinated by the radical left programming for saying something I believe trans women do not belong in women's sports. I was craftfully at craft dash fully edited and puzzled together to look like a nasty person I didn't even recognize.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Well, if that's what you said, I mean, you're just saying that that's what you said. So stand by what you said then.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
The editing on Beverly Hills. So this wasn't meant to be like start a big political thing or whatever. People obviously know where we stand on that, which is for trans rights. And I think this is bullshit. But this is not really to go into transports. It's just the first moment where I was like, Anna Marie? Why are we talking about Anna Marie? Like, who cares? Can't we just not?
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Well, that's why she's doing this. So then comes out the news that Anna Marie Wiley... is now going to be suing the American Society of Anesthesiologists. I have recently filed a lawsuit against the American Society, blah blah blah, because of their public smear campaign against me stemming from their IG post during my time as a cast member on Bravo.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I continue to experience significant harm from their false and defamatory IG post about me. While I have not publicly disclosed my lawsuit, I am now aware of the ASA's decision to publicize on their website my lawsuit against them. Let me be clear. My lawsuit is solely about their malicious, false, targeted, and defamatory statements about me.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I have always proudly, publicly, and consistently stated that I am a CRNA. I have never stated that I am an anesthesiologist or a medical doctor during my time on the show. This is not a debate over professional titles, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Poor Anna Marie. She's such a victim. So I'd just like to play this clip of Anna Marie from the Juicy Scoop podcast with Heather McDonald.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
And then you've got Paige saying that, she hid this breakup for a month to shield, you know, because Craig needed some time. And then Craig pretended like it was all this ambush and he had no idea and got on Instagram all charming about it. And then Paige got mad and said, he's been texting two bitches. I caught him texting two bitches. Um,
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Bring it up.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Well, good luck in court. I hope they don't have TikTok or Juicy Scoop anywhere on the podcast channel. What the hell? You know what? I had an opinion of you the last time you were on my television screen, and it's amazing that it should have gotten worse, but it didn't. It's still the same. Shut up. Just shut up, lady.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Just go away. I mean, all I had to do was Google, Anna Marie claims to be a doctor. That's literally all I put in, and it brought up all of this stuff. So, lady, please. We have more important things to worry about in the world of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Lisa Vanderpump has her own version of nachos.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
when we were together and that was the end of summer house. And then we had Patricia and Austin kind of coming for a page on watch what happens live, which we got to see behind the bar, which is cool. And then, um, Amanda and Kyle went on some other show and basically dissed Craig and called him a wuss and said he should have stood up for page and
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Well, what a disappointment. But I have to say, still more engaging than the Anna Marie stuff. So, you know, sometimes you take a shot in the dark and you don't get tuna tartar nachos. I could have sworn they were going to be tuna tartar nachos.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Tuna tartare. And that weird mayonnaise sauce that they serve over there.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
In other news from Beverly Hills, bad news kept coming for Teddy. There was not only the illness stuff, but she also was sued for racial discrimination by one of the housekeepers.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I think you've been reading too many of my notes where I just spell words, you know, every letter is out of order.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Once you've got Lisa Vanderpump nachos in your head, it doesn't just go away, does it? I've been thinking about it all day long.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Oh, gosh. Okay, so let's see. What else? Phaedra did not show up to the Married to Medicine reunion, speaking of Married to Medicine, because they really pulled one on Phaedra. Okay, so for those of you who are not watching Married to Medicine, here's what's going on. So they're having their annual couples trip, right? Every year they do this, and they do things like...
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
What is your favorite position with your husband? And then they play shady games and then they all end up fighting, but they all come together because they love marriage so much. And, you know, that's kind of the gist of the show. Well, this year, Phaedra's on there and they've been trying to get Phaedra pissed off all year and it won't work. Phaedra won't break, right?
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
So they are, and they say on TV, we're just trying to get this bitch to break. Like they say it over and over. They're clear with their intentions. Phaedra has stayed strong. She's not going to break and look stupid on the show. So now comes, well, I'm not, she has looked kind of stupid, but she hasn't lost her temper or anything. So now they have this couple's trip. Phaedra is single.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
So Heavenly calls Apollo and says, oh, hi, Apollo. You know how she does in her really high voice. Like, Apollo, it's me, Heavenly. Her Heavenly fake being nice voice. So she's like, hey, Apollo, you know, we really love you. And I thought maybe it would be good if you came on this couple's trip.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
And then that way you could show us how positive a divorce can be, because you guys are such a positive example of a divorce couple, which is such a load of horseshit. Right. So he's like, OK, I'd love to be on TV again. And she's like, are you going to bring your wife, Shireen? And he's like, no, no, she's going to stay home, but I'll come.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
So they're thinking, okay, well, we're going to get her on this trip. Now, granted, this is the show that also brought Quad's abusive ex-husband back, allegedly, with his new wife to be on the show to get Quad.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
And Quad has taken it pretty well, I would say, under the circumstances. So now they're trying this with Phaedra. So Phaedra shows up. Phaedra trumps them. She shows up with this hot man. So... She doesn't care if Apollo's coming because she's got this hot man. So then Apollo ends up showing up with his wife who wasn't supposed to come.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
And then we have Patricia on Southern Charm saying that Paige is mean. So the latest in what's happened is Sierra. You know, I think that Sierra wasn't meant to be on Traders. It was supposed to be Lindsay. And I think that Sierra was hired after Lindsay was let go after Dorinda left. outed her pregnancy and told everybody that she either had a miscarriage or was going to miscarry.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Right. Did you mention that part? Yes. No, I didn't. So he's there with Shireen. She's there with this guy. I think his name's Shaq, right? So she's there with him and he's hot as hell. And he's young. He's very young and hot. And so they're making fun of that, but they're like, oh, Phaedra.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
So it looks like it's going to go okay because Phaedra doesn't let it phase her because she pretty much figured this was coming. But then it turns out that- the guy that she's dating is one of Apollo's best friends. So it's like, she turns it around on Apollo and it's like, Oh great. You're going to come onto my show while I'm fucking your best friend. It was so good.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
And you can say what you want about Phaedra, but she knows how to play this game and she's not going to play with you idiots. And she dumped, she just was like, and then next week she was like, bye. I don't need friends like that. You're obviously trying to, to fuck me over on TV. Good luck. It didn't work. Bye. I quit.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
This time they were great because they had Quad there, and Quad also has a new hot young man, right? He's hot. She and Gregory couldn't take it because Gregory was so mortified this guy was there. And obviously he's short, and then you're going against this gorgeous Adonis who's rich as hell. And so Gregory lost this round for sure.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
And so Gregory's getting all defensive over there, and then he and Quad got wasted. So they broke that whole game up because they had a big all-out. all-out war during that one. So it was pretty good. But at the very end, you've got this whole cast who's been trying to get Phaedra. They bring Apollo.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
They all think it's hilarious that Apollo's coming and that Phaedra's stuck with this guy and that she's got this young guy. Now they've caused all this mess. And then it blows up. And then the clip for next week, the very last line is Simone going... I just need to figure out how we're going to bring this group of girls together in peace. I was like, oh, my God.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Literally 10 years of you doing the exact same thing. Causing mess and then going, why is everybody so messy? Get the lemon squeeze out.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Yeah, I think they were just introduced on this trip, yeah.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I mean, I don't know. That was a whole mess from another couple of crappy hours ago. But the latest is Sierra being on Traders. And I have to say, that show's given her a lot more confidence and, may I say, personality.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
episode screaming and yelling and just waving his arms around i was like oh no poor guy um but it was good that that show's been a classic so yeah so it ended up with phadra being like bye i'm going to you know the higher show in our tier see ya on sunday nights so see you ladies so she's out of there i don't really blame her
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I'll get mad at everybody else besides heavenly and heavenly is the one that did it. I'll get more mad at Simone and Jackie for laughing about it and then acting like hypocrites. And they're so above it all when they were sitting there laughing and being a part of the whole thing. Then I will at being heavenly because at least heavenly is real about it, you know?
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
He basically told me so far, he looks like the perfect man. He's just like, whatever you need, I'm here for you. You know, he has that. I just love the way he's like, let me buy you things. Let me buy you a. What did he buy her? Like a Jaguar or something? Oh, I don't know about it, but he got her one.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Wow. It's a good one. It's a good one. All right, everybody, that brings us to the end of the talkie portion. If you guys want to talk to us on video, that's where we move next for the next 10 minutes. We will put the link here on YouTube in the comments. So you'll see it there. Come talk to us. Everybody else we'll talk to you in a couple of weeks. Bye.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Let me word it this way. Maybe not personality, but I guess what I find lacking in her I mean, I've always – I enjoy Ciara, so it's not like I'm dissing her like I don't like her. I'm just saying that she – I guess on Summer House, she's got stronger personalities around her that she's kind of just a person in the ensemble on that show.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
Whereas this, I think maybe more confidence as a solo artist maybe is a better way to put it because her confidence –
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
uh is much more noticeable i think on traders and it wasn't at first it took a few weeks um but i'm really liking her on there i think i i think she's been really funny on there uh so i think it's been really good for her is my point so anyway this latest is sierra going on us weekly and coming for patricia which i think is funny and she says i definitely think the southern charm audience and summer house audience is completely different true i mean there's some there's some um
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
crossover obviously there are bravo people who watch both but you can tell in comment threads that they're different on they're very different audiences i mean one audience is very anti-page and like poor craig he gave everything to that woman and all he wanted was a few babies and someone to settle down and keep the house warm evil woman delilah um and then you know you've got the summer house audience who's like yes fuck craig we told you he was stupid what do you think
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
So then she says, we're taking – the summer house audience all day long over the super insanely traditional misogynistic fan base.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I feel that Southern charm has, and she says it's very old school and I'm from the South and I totally get that mentality, but we're in 2025 and I'll be damned if I'm an 80 year old woman sitting on TV and coming after another woman saying that she's being mean to somebody. Um, Well, okay. I mean, I get that. But an 80-year-old's allowed to have an opinion, too.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I think her opinion's wrong, personally. I don't think that Paige is mean to Craig. And when Paige is mean to Craig, I love it. I think that's... That was the best part of their relationship was Paige being disgusted with Craig. I mean, that was kind of the whole point.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
But I didn't like that just because I felt like I mean, if she's saying woman to woman, like you're coming for another woman that I get because Patricia, I think, does coddle all the men on Southern Charm. Totally. She always has. Like she'll choose Thomas over Catherine any day. You know, she's always been that way. But yeah, I didn't like that 80 year old.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
It's like, listen, I'll be way worse when I'm 80. I know. My God. I'll be twice as bad as I am now. And that's a lot.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
It's Watch What Crappens, a live every other Monday show. Hi, Ben. How are you? Great. Thank you, Ronnie. How are you doing? Oh, good. That's Ben over there. I'm Rondal. And today, we're going to be talking about some Bravo Goss. What's been on your mind for the past two weeks with all this?
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
So then she says, Paige is mean to Craig. Naomi is mean to Craig. Let's ask ourselves if people are mean to him, why are they mean to him? Now that's a good, that I think is the most important question in this whole little segment. And then she says, if that's your perception of mean, what's your definition of mean? Is it's not kissing the ground that he walks on?
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
She has an opinion about other things. She's steadfast in what she wants of herself and her future and what her future family is going to look like. Is that mean? So I agree with her. But, you know, there is kind of a war brewing. So I'm loving it. I don't feel like I have to choose sides. I can just sit here and watch it.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
I mean, my side is Paige so far because I think Paige, I think Craig's such a faker little fuck. And I think Paige is more upfront with who she is, where Craig hides behind this little dimples and, We saw it this week when they went on their group vacation and the mask slipped a bit. And Craig was like, I have to share a room. What am I, poor? I'm not a poor person. I'm not going to share a room.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
No, but you are a cheap person because you still didn't go get your own room. So, yeah, just fucking baby. Just fucking baby Craig. So I'm going to choose whoever dumps Craig. I chose my only side during that whole thing. I think the whole time we were like, dump him. I'm going to usually choose anybody's side who dumps Craig until he truly gets his shit together.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
yeah and in comments that were kind of furthering that um and this obviously all comes from reddit as that's all i did all weekend was read that damn site uh people were saying that she was just dissing the cast just they're like old weirdos and she's saying all this stuff and i that's kind of the accurate read i would want her to have from being in that house like
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
why would they put me in this house with a pregnant lady, a married couple, that's always grumbling and fighting a couple of drunks. I'm not specifying which ones. And then you've got her. And there were things that were pointed out that I didn't even notice in that, um, in that episode that we recapped, uh, the first episode back was when they went out to get the girl's luggage.
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
They're like, can I get your luggage? And they only got, um, the model ones, whatever that girl's like. I'm sorry. That girl's annoying. I don't care what anybody says. There's a whole thing of like, she's not a bimbo. She's just from Canada. I'm sorry. That girl's a twit. Okay. And I stand by it and you will see it. You will see it. If you haven't already, it's not like it's that,
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#2734 Crappy Hour 2/17/2025 Summer House V Southern Charm War Brews and Married 2 Med Update
hidden but that girl's a twit i don't trust her um so but she has patty lapone face so that's i don't think i just i can't i can't give her that because that's a win to me you know what i mean i cannot give her that win like i'm not a hater i don't hate her or anything i'm just like why are you here you're in the wrong you got off the wrong bus you know that's you got off at the wrong stop
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Great, great story, Ronnie. Love the tramp stamp. So the people are arriving, you know, and Sutton's brought Porter. So I'm really hoping that Porter makes a splash because Porter looks like she's been kidnapped every time she's with Sutton. She looks like she's always her eyes are always darting towards the door. Like, can I run? Can I run? Like, is there a bracelet on your ankle?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
What is Sutton doing to you? Run, Porter. You look terrified.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And she's like, I want to do a picture, picture, picture, picture, picture, picture. Okay, I have to make myself look skinny. Okay, do it again. Do it again. People always.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
say to me why are you what what are you wearing to the party and i always say don't go by me because i'm going to be egregiously overdressed when you have so much money you don't know what to do with it you just buy the most expensive dress that you can find life is short i have a fabulous jewelry i have fabulous clothes and if i want to wear my fabulous jewelry and clothes to the local starbucks so be it
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
I love watching True Detective, and I actually haven't seen the Jodie Foster season, so I'm starting that tonight. I'm so excited to get into that.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Your Jennifer Tilly is very good, by the way. I was really. I'm enjoying it. You can tell that you did something and it sounds great.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
english but also old hollywood but also then high then low it's like crazy what she's got she like rounds all her words no you're so excellent ronnie don't be don't yours you're certainly having fun but yours you can tell you've been working on it's very good okay i worked on it last night but it's great
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
okay so then uh yeah just stop talking like hey guys hey let's go on coffee break man oh my god ben i was so proud of you today okay so let's go let's go wish my mask had been here to see it Your mouse. I know. I'm telling you, Apple charges $9 million, but if you don't buy their products, they really fuck you.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Because I've done that where I'm like, I'm going to get the off-brand thing that looks like a magic trackpad, but it's not that. No, it won't work.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Especially when it's told by a full cast like that. Like it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Yeah, you look at the charges, it's like I agreed to a certain amount, and then you look at that bill, and it is nowhere near the number that you agreed to. But then there's like 90 million charges on top of what you agreed to that were just secrets. Sorry, but not with mint. Say bye-bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw-dropping monthly bills, and unexpected overages.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Okay, so then, anyway, Eric and Dorit come. They try and convince us that they're this wacky, hilarious friend couple. I'm not really buying it, and I feel really bad for Erica. I feel like Erica losing Rinna has been hard, and she needs someone that she can have fun with like Rinna, because Dorit ain't it. I don't think Erica even really likes Dorit, so I'm hoping she finds somebody soon.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
It was pretty cute. I loved the, like, kind of nod to chaps or whatever it was doing. Yeah. It was pretty cute.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Are your kids smoking in the first?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Yeah. You can stop sparse fires. PK.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
That was PK's wedding vows to me. Some more, some more, some more. Do you promise me some more? Do you promise me some more? Basically, I didn't even have to put a ring on his finger. I had to put an onion ring on his finger. Then he ate it off. I said, what kind of commitment is this? Children, do not make forest fires.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
I said, PK, you cannot eat any more of those flaming hot Cheetos.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Okay, so Kyle and Drew greet each other. Everybody's saying hi. Everybody comes there. Bo shows up, and it's like, oh, my God, I can't believe you traveled so much. That's crazy. She's like, yeah, Lael and I were just in Brazil to celebrate our 15th birthday. I've trademarked Brazil, everybody. Don't try to name your country that, because I'm way ahead of you.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
The Brazil nuts are now called peanut number two. I don't give a shit, but I own it. So good luck.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Next slide. This was so funny because our poor kid's like, I want to go all over the continents. I want to see the whole world. What world? Our world? Good enough. Next slide. I can't take it anymore. Can we get her some charisma, please?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
It's so funny. Those are her favorite. I mean, I guess they're angel numbers. We find out later. But I was like, why are you putting every parent's security code to the alarm system in their house? Yeah.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
So they're talking about like how wacky it is to get tattoos. And Bose is like, I'm thinking about something to get. And Garcelle goes, I know what you should get. Badass bitch. And she's like, you're off the voting committee. That was terrible. Can we get Lamb in here? You give it a try.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
You're making my kid almost look good at this.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
So he's like, I'll help you. So another person employed by the housewife gay economy. Thank you, housewives. So they talk about this. And Sutton's like, wait a minute. One, one, one, one. That is the devil's numbers. And they're like, no, it's not. And Kathy goes, oh, that's 666. Thank you, Kathy. So Sutton's like, I was just.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
one one one no she's like i'm not good i wouldn't get six six six anyway i'd get no no no which is nine nine nine which is six six six no in german sorry bungled that okay so uh So Garcelle and Sutton start gossiping. And Garcelle's like, well, I guess I've burned through my storyline. So did I mention the PK robbing his own house?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Okay, so Erica is talking about she needs a new start, blah, blah, blah. All she's been doing is surviving, but now she's coming out of it, and she's feeling good, and she's ready to rumble, and she's ready to get a remodel. So then she's like, yeah, Sutton gave this speech in Oceanside about sisterhood, and then she points me out.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
So listen, I didn't tell you this, but I don't really. She does that thing where she raises one eyebrow, like her days of our lives. She's got a lot of days of our lives effects. So she does her John Black. God. And RIP John Black. But she raises her one eyebrow and she's like, which it's not really raising as much as usual because I just got Botox. Can you tell?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
So she's like, wow, I had a really heartfelt talk with Kyle and I felt like we were on the surface. So we finally went deeper. And I said to her, I would like to go deeper. And she said, okay. And I said, did you know that I cried when I saw that I'm the executive producer on Black Girl Missing 2? Yeah.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Sutton would not do it. She was like, uh-uh, I'm not pissing off Kyle. Nope, nope, no, man.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Yeah, I don't know. I think that Dorit probably wouldn't care. I don't really think. I mean, I guess we'll find out. I doubt that Dorit really cares. It's just that Kyle is spreading it in a way. She's spreading it to Garcelle on purpose because she knows Garcelle is going to try and use it as ammunition against Dorit. And I think that's just so shady of Kyle.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And we talked about it last week when she first did it. about, you know, Kyle probably mad and taking revenge, that everybody loves Dorit. The internet was saying that, you know, Dorit and Mauricio were probably hooking up. So now she needs to make it look like PK is really attracted to her just to get back at Dorit.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And I still do believe that, but I don't think Dorit would give a shit about any of this. I mean, of course, PK is going to text any pretty woman that he can. And they're all friends, so I don't know. Did I answer your question? I forgot what we were talking about. I think so. All right. So Garcelle's like, and I've always known that PK and Dorit and Kyle and Mo would hang out.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
I know Kyle thinks PK is so funny, you know, but once that dynamic shifted between Dorit and PK, that should stop. And that's what I have to say about that as I await my new film, Black Girl Missing, part two. Wow. Wow.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Ow. Ow. That's a tattoo. That's a tattoo I'm getting. Hold on.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
sorry i'm bungling a lot of them today what can i say no no no okay so then we go to um porter and um she has a sip of her drink she's like well this taste of tequila just startled me and that was when porter's one line of the episode and i was just like one border poor thing go to a land where you're allowed to drink margaritas freely without mommy judging you
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Because I made some comment to Kyle about what Dorit said, and then apparently it wasn't good enough where I should have brought it up to the entire group. You know, and whatever. She flips out all the time, so whatever. So then we get a montage of Sutton flipping out. She feels left out or something, yeah.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And so Bose comes to sit with Erica and to read, and they start talking about Sutton raising her voice to me, the sprinter. Sutton and I have known each other for a few years now, and we've never settled into a friendship where it's consistent. You know, I mean, we like each other. And Erica's like, yeah, it's good that she flips out, which Erica would know nothing about. You know, thank God.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
I'm a disruptor in the hashtag industry. So now they're talking about Jennifer's jewelry.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And she's like, oh, yeah, it's so good. It's Chanel. I love the diamonds.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
and so it's like okay y'all guys i have to make a speech a ding a ding a ding and i was like oh god because that was like all of a sudden you know and both in in the after show was like what is this lady like house mother of a of a sorority like what is she trying to do and that is what she's doing she's trying to control everybody through like mama mamaing them
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And then, girl, you are nobody's mother. You are so, well, I was going to say, you're probably like a lot of Southern mothers. You're neurotic, you're pill popping, and you're drunk. But then I was like, well, that mothered me, and I'm happy.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Well, I appreciate this Mr. Hood moment. I really do. And I think it's sincere. But the one thing I would like to say to you is, where the fuck is my pizza? I've just been sitting here for four years waiting for pizza. Chucky Sleaze is what I call him. Everybody else gets a pizza besides me. Fuck you, Chucky. Avoid the Nord.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Erica goes, I mean, I'm not here to diagnose personality disorders, but I've got one, so we probably all do, let's face it.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
I'd get down on my knees and give the Nord the best night of his life if it meant I could get a slice of pizza already.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
She goes, well, if we're going to be open and honest, which by the way, can we just retire that phrase? It's the dumbest phrase of all time. Thanks, Kyle. Kyle invented that phrase, hashtag. Disrupt her hashtag. As long as we're being open and honest, you're volatile, Sutton.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And Jennifer Daly goes, I don't think she meant that as a compliment. I think she meant it as a put-down. But I do think it's a good description of Saturn. And Erica?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
To Erica's credit. Slowly figuring things out. As her sentence goes along, she just keeps discovering new things about what's happening in the world.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
way to go she does get that she does turn into angry drunk mom in the car where she's like i'm pulling this car she's like taking the wooden spoon out of her glove compartment and just swinging in the back seat like my mom used to trying to hit anything that she could the kids are crawling over the way back to get the very back of the the station wagon to stay away from that wooden spoon
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And she's not right. And then she just slurps her Coke. Yeah.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Do you know how many times that I have not appreciated where people yell at me in the script? And she's doing that thing where her eyes turn into slits and they're kind of crossed. I mean, she gets so angry so fast.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Just talk normal. Just don't raise your voice.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
this for normal well if you can't be open and honest you can't lead the charge can you treat sometimes you don't listen and erica's like oh god but that's been 10 years she's not gonna start listening now i love how erica just completely jumps off the dream boat immediately
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
I was laughing so hard at this scene. This was so fucking funny. And so Kyle's like, Okay, well, what's the point that you want to make then? Sutton, what's weighing on you? The point is that we need to be honest. And Erica goes, lead by example. I'm trying to. No, you're not. Yeah, you're not. You're talking the talk, but you're not walking the walk. Talky, talky, walky, walky.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Do you talk as you walk? Do you walk talks? Do you talk walks?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And Eric is like, oh, baby, no, no, no, no, no. I'll tell you what's real. Eating Taco Bell at 2 in the morning because you just tried to jerk off to the memory of the time you saw Armie Hammer once naked. That's real.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Can't even hit that note. Okay, so let me concentrate, because I'm just giggling at this stupid scene. Okay, so then- So then she's like, listen, you're angry and you're not angry with me. You're angry at your own life. And everyone goes, ooh. And Post goes, oh, no. And so Dorit goes, ladies and gentlemen, meet Sutton Strack. The woman, Sutton, I'm sorry, Sutton Strack.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
The woman who loves to support women at their lowest.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Don't take it out on me. Don't take it out on me. I am not in a good place. I agree.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And Kyle's like, Sutton, I mean, too low. Low blow, low blow. I mean, I completely agree with you, but I wouldn't say it.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Okay, don't say shit that you're gonna regret. I don't know, things like, I don't need a pizza party.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And so it's like, I'm not. She goes, no, well, you've been wanting to say that, haven't you? Listen, you're not wrong. And she goes, I know I'm not wrong, but you actually came to me saying I really am wrong, am I? She goes, you know what? Really?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Great. Well, what else do you want from me? And sounds like Dorit... I'm not angry with you. I raised my voice in the spring because you were not listening and understanding the bigger point. I was like, is it sprinkling on a tin roof? Why are you talking like this?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
if you don't say I'm volatile. And she's like, well, I understand that. And Boze goes, you know what? She goes, you know what? Can I say something here? We also can't weaponize in moments of vulnerability hashtag. And Sutton's like, wait, who's weaponizing? You. She goes, when? She goes, now. When you said I'm not angry with you, you're not angry with your life. That's weaponizing.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And Erica's like, yeah, that was low, which I don't really think it was. It was not weaponizing. I mean, it was Sutton being immature. Yeah, it was Sutton trying to turn the situation around, but I don't think she said anything particularly mean. And Bose was like, you know, you take a horrible situation.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And Erica's like, okay, well, that was... an accurate call. And it was. It was an accurate read. And this entire scene, as I said before, earlier in the recap, I was extremely impressed with this therapist. We're not used to seeing a level of therapy that works on this show. And so on these shows in general, it's usually just a waste.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
I mean, this is happening in somebody's life and you turn it back around, you sharpen it, you stick them with it. Ooh, that's war. Absolutely out of bounds. Out of bounds.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
hashtag um actually it's literally the most inbounds it could be this is real housewives so um but it is what yeah it's it is housewives but it is what sutton generally does so she she acts like she's there for you and then she like takes she does take it and twist it and then stabs you with it she's like so you think your divorce isn't gonna be bad well it is let me tell you but i'm just here to help you
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
You know, it's like, she can't really, it's kind of like a Vanderpump thing. And I'm not saying she's like Vanderpump, but this quality is similar where it's like, she needs the broken bird. Like if you're not broken, she can't help you. So if you're not broken, she'll help break you.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Hi, I'm sorry. I'm going to butt in right now. But years ago, my house burned down. I lost my house. I lost my assistant of many, many years. And I didn't get a lot of compassion or empathy from some people, especially Dorit. And Dorit's like... Honey, you are a total C word to me.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Right out the gate, Dorit. And Sutton's like, Dorit, must we use the C word? Even though you're a B in one, let's not use it. Well, you were a total cut fitness to me. You know why? And Camille goes, you called me a fucking cut fitness. No, I called you a stupid cut fitness, not a fucking cut fitness.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Wow. Wow. Wow. No. Wow. No. Wow. Wow.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Someone slap her on the back of the back. One, one, one, one. We see a flashback to that dinner where Dorit goes, Camille, you're a stupid cut fitness.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
She's like, I said you're a... So then back to President, she goes, I said you're a stupid cut fitness as a joke. You knew it. You always knew it. No, not at the time. You didn't know it. No, I didn't really know at the time. No, you just used it because you needed a moment. You always need a moment.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And Dorit tells us, Once upon a time, I regretted calling Camille a cut fitness. Now, I feel like Camille is a stupid cut fitness. So she's like, you just needed a moment. You always need a moment. You're just digging, digging, bully, bully.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Little jobs, little jobs, little jobs, little jobs, jobs, jobs, moments, jobs, jobs, moments, moments, jobs, jobs, jobs, moments, jobs, jobs, jobs, moments, moments, G, G, G, P.K.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
You know the person that takes selfies all the time? They have to wait for hours for you to show up to events because you're always taking photo shoots.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
But Erica's actually, you can tell, been going to this person, actually been going. And I think her advice is good. Although I would say this is the part where I was like, She's triggered by Sutton because clearly she has mommy issues. I mean, she's talked about her mommy issues on the show. She's from a Southern blonde woman from the same place that Sutton's from.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Yeah. I know you can tell everything that Kyle's been bitching about. So Sutton just nods and says, well, and Dorit goes, and? Well, but you put them on hold. Who's them? Your friends. You put your friends on hold. What are you even doing here? Do you need a moment? Are you out of moments? Have your moments left you? Welcome. Can somebody bring Camille a moment?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
You're still condescending and that's my point. You've always been condescending to me since day one. I did feel bad for you the first day I met you when you came to my house when I was still standing with her.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Erica, the name is Erica. Pizza party girl. The one that everybody wants to get a pizza with her name on it.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
and erica just looks at the cat well in her confessional she looks at us and just goes cut fitness well you're a different person now dory i don't know what happened to you but you're changed well you just said that she's always been the same condescending person and now she's different i mean camille's not doing great at this and erica's like come here you know what she's going through and she's like well i feel bad
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Because I went through a lot too. Does anyone want to take this moment to feel bad for what I went through when I lost my house and my assistant?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Yeah. So, yeah. So then Camille's like, no one feels bad for me. And I went to hell and back. Hell and back. And Garcelle's like, we've all gone through a lot. Not a competition. But hell, hell and back, though. And Sutton's like, well, really. And I meant what I said. I will always be there for you when you need it. Thank you. Not you. Why are you here? Wait a minute.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
three but um listen you know um when you need me i'm gonna be here i'm gonna be i'm gonna be here okay you might as well get pokey on my side because i'm gonna be here and i would walk 500 miles to be there yes was that gumbie's friend was it pokey what was gonna be a friend's name okay don't be in pokin there's another one but the other one lacks charisma yeah so then by the way uh Never mind.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
I was going to get dark. I'm not going to. Okay, so then Tariq was like, well, I would love to believe that, Sutton. But actions are going to speak louder than words.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And she her mom, she considers to be such a bitch. And her mom seems pretty nice. But right now, consider. But of course, she knows that a Southern mom at two. I have a Southern mom as well. But she's triggered and Sutton triggers the fuck out of her. And so I'm surprised her therapist isn't calling her on the mommy issues.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
That was... It was taking me down a spiral of other things, you know? You know, because you know how my brain works. It's like one big pinup board with yarn running from one pin to another. So it went from Gumby and Pokey really quick to other things, other dark, dark things. So Doreen's like, I don't think something gives one fuck about me what I'm going through.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
I think something cares more about looking sincere and empathetic more than being sincere and empathetic. You say empathetic. I say empathetic. Who's correct? Tomato to meaty.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Kyle, it's a wonderful party. Thank you for inviting us all.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Kyle, not holding a grudge. You're literally calling your party Denim and Diamonds and have a mini pony. I can't. This show is so goofy and so funny. I think it was very much back in its top form last night. I was cracking up through most of this episode. Really, really funny. And it's really not people trying to be funny. It's just people being ridiculous people being themselves.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
I mean, the whole Erica being upset about the pizza party killed me.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Yeah. Well, it's the pizza party, you know. All right, everybody. Go have some pizza. We sure love you guys. We'll be back tomorrow probably or later today. Who knows? With Real Housewives of New York. Then we've got Salt Lake City. We've got Southern Charm. We've got tickets available for the Mounting Hysteria Tour. Texas dates and Charlotte dates. Links coming very soon.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And we will talk to you guys next time. We'll see you later.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Know Your Worth with Jason Couric. Sip Some Scotch with Jessica Trotch.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
I think she's touching on it by saying, well, whenever and whenever somebody bosses you around, you get mad, you know.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Always Killin' It, it's Lola Alcalani.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Look for sales on curated cheeses to create a grazing board everyone will love while the dinner's getting cooked. You're in the right place to get all the best accoutrement like nuts, dried fruit, and chocolate.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
The highest tally is Sarah McNally.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And our super premium sponsors.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Hello, ladies and gerbs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting, and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittany Broski, and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa, and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
They say Hollywood is where dreams are made, a seductive city where many flock to get rich, be adored, and capture America's heart. But when the spotlight turns off, fame, fortune, and lives can disappear in an instant. When TV producer Roy Radin was found dead in a canyon near LA in 1983, There were many questions surrounding his death.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
The last person seen with him was Laney Jacobs, a seductive cocaine dealer who desperately wanted to be part of the Hollywood elite. Together, they were trying to break into the movie industry. But things took a dark turn when a million dollars worth of cocaine and cash went missing. From Wondery comes a new season of the hit show Hollywood and Crime, The Cotton Club Murder.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Follow Hollywood and Crime, The Cotton Club Murder on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of The Cotton Club Murder early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Yeah, I'm just saying, like, I think she's touching on her mommy things. Because, you know, that's what moms do. They say, you should be this way, Erica. You should do this, Erica. And I think maybe it's a way of not directly saying, like, you have mommy issues because she doesn't want to trigger hers. Because she's said it so many times.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
That's true. That's very good, yeah. That does happen. There's all kinds of, what do you call it? Transference. There's all kinds of transference for therapists, and that's definitely one of them. Yeah. I'm excited. I got my therapy today. You need therapy for therapy. I love therapy. I wonder what my therapist was thinking about me when I was telling her about my mommy issues.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
I mean, the way she looked at me, I will never forget her. I will never. I'm going to go back though. I'm going to go back. I know I shouldn't, but I'm going to.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Sutton threw a surprise pajama party pizza party for Kyle. Sutton threw a surprise pajama... See, I can't do it. I'm trying to do it multiple times. Sutton threw a surprise pajama party pizza party.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
She sells seashells by the seashore because she's a bitch. I'll give it to her. I don't give a fuck.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
We see a clip of that. And then it comes back. And Erica's like, but I was not given a pizza party. I was actually met with a lot of judgment. And Dr. Ting goes, you didn't get a pizza party because your divorce wasn't clean. And then we see clips of that. And she goes, and it was also Lexapro and alcohol. And she goes, well, I guess that's not the best combination.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And she goes, yeah, that's not pizza party behavior. And Erica goes, yeah.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
maybe it's definitely one of my favorite all-time erica scenes this almost beats the one where she went to the fucking uh book place when she was selling her book and showed up in her sunglasses i was dying at that one too but this is one of my all-time favorite scenes this is just so erica this whole thing erica's most mad that she didn't get a pizza party
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
So if anyone's doubting that Erica doesn't have mommy issues, here it is. I know, really.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
oh maybe they can come over when we redo the house what about that and she goes oh yes you should do a pizza party god damn it you're really trying me okay well i'll be on call for you that night that will be fun when they order 12 pizzas and no one touches a single slice so
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Make Whole Foods Market your holiday headquarters. Have you ever found the house of your dreams only to learn it has dark secrets?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
I didn't even really notice her look, to be honest. I couldn't really disagree with you or agree with you because I just wasn't paying attention because I was just laughing so hard at the miniature horse because I was such a nod to Vanderpump. And then the denims and diamonds was so Vanderpump sounding. And then how she goes...
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
and i've got a crown too well i mean this cowboy hat is my crown i'm like you even need to do the crown you are so textbook that at this point it's just funny to me you know it's kind of cute like that's a sis it's another sister she's just always gonna hate yes the cowboy hat is heavy so uh So then we go to Dorit. So we got everybody while they're getting ready, basically, you know.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And Erica's, you know, Erica's like, pew, pew, I've got guns. And Laia's just like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. All right, you're just on minimum wage. You don't need to do a full guffaw on that one, Laia. I don't need too much effort from you.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Laia, are you eating a slice of pizza? Not in front of me. Come on, you know the rules.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Well, guess who the first person to arrive is? Thirsty-ass Camille. Here comes Camille on time, which is hilarious because that's new housewife behavior. I'm so embarrassed for Camille. So she comes and she's like, oh, Kyle. Oh, hi. How are you, Kyle?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
But as the sellers discover, sometimes the home of your dreams can be a total nightmare.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Fire in Malibu. So upsetting, Kyle.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
all right have a great night everyone so so uh yeah camille is uh shaking her head and doing that like i'm so sad for you kyle she's just making that face like poor poor crime like my party it's like hard doing it without mauricio you know for the first time and camille's like Yeah, Kyle, I get it.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
You know, because you think they love you, and then before you know it, they're just, like, divorcing you, fucking flight attendants, you know, selling your house, selling your best friend, selling your tennis lover, your tennis pro lover, you know, all that stuff. That's embarrassing you. I don't even own D anymore, Kyle. Do you know how embarrassing that is?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And Kyle's like, um, I think she's projecting because, like, I have an amazing divorce, and Camille's a pathetic divorce, so... Kyle's even competing to have the best...
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Yeah, you're both the ones with young girls at this point, you know. So I think that's something for a good couple, you know, like Kyle and Mauricio. I still think Kyle and Mauricio are a great couple. And I do hope that they get back together because I think they're a good couple, damn it. And I still see them occasionally. Even when they're together now, I think they're a great couple.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
So whatever. I don't care what anybody says about that. I hope that they get back together because I think it says something for people who they're so close that they even go through their midlife crises at the same time and both start fucking young girls. Yeah. Listen, if they were gay, they'd be doing it together.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
You know, it's just straight people have all these stupid walls up that they can't live like us and they won't do it together. But if this was gay, we'd be like, this is the best gay relationship ever. Look at them out there banging young people together. I mean, what a dream.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
Yeah. Is it weird that I'm starting to find Kyle cute because she's just so ridiculously herself? It's weird, right? I'm like actually enjoying her this season. When normally she triggers me, I'm actually enjoying her because she's just such a caricature of herself at this point that I'm dying laughing every time. She can't get out of her own way. It's so good.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
You've heard us talking about the latest Dash Pass annual plan benefit, Stream Max with ads included at no extra cost. If you haven't tried it yet, what are you waiting for?
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
So then we see all the headlines about Mauricio. Even though Kyle's denying it, we see all the headlines of Mauricio banging young people. And then Trixie Monaco is brought in for her new hit. Cowgirl, cowgirl, come on, we gonna ride. Put your saddle on the horse. Yeah, we sitting high, moving in the city. Yeah, we gonna bring the vibes, having fun in the sun. Yeah.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
tricksy that is too many lyrics and now you know this isn't the real tricksy monocle because tricksy would have just said i'm a cowgirl i'm a cowgirl yeah this was repeat this this is not someone someone brought in like kelly pickler or something to do her like it's not right is this this is folksy monocle folksy folksy fake a call yeah i would say so
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
And she's like, why are we doing this again at another party in LA? Stop doing that to people. People should not have to be permanently scarred from coming to your party. They did this on the valley too. Stop. What a weird thing to make people do. I mean, I know you're not making them, but you kind of are there's peer pressure. Stop.
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#2659 RHOBH S1405 Part Two: Into the Lion’s Denim
I don't want to have to remember your stupid diamonds and rosé party for the rest of my life.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
The holidays are upon us and Whole Foods Market is your holiday headquarters. Whether you're hosting or a guest, impress everyone at your table with exceptional flavors and enchanting host gifts for all your holiday gatherings.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And then we find out Tiffany is her little Chucky doll.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
it's because she does the voice for tiffany i think right for chucky the chucky franchise yes so she's just sitting there she's like here you go don't drink it all and uh she literally puts a glass of champagne or white wine in tiffany's hand and just sits there And Jeff is like, well, make sure she doesn't spill. We just cleaned her dress. Yes, she's always spilling stuff. I think we got it.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Put that right there. And so Kyle shows up and Kyle, you know that like Kyle has a weird relationship with the supernatural. So we know she's going to freak out when she sees this doll.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I love watching True Detective, and I actually haven't seen the Jodie Foster season, so I'm starting that tonight. I'm so excited to get into that.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So he does. And he's like, hello, I'm Jeff. And Kyle's like, hello, I'm Kyle.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
This is Jeff. He's my butler. I'm fancy like Kathy Hilton. And... Which is kind of funny that she says that because it's like, you know, that's her sister, right? You know, that's like, that's Kathy's sister who wants to be fancy like Kathy Hilton too. I'm not like her. I like her low rent sisters. Who are they again, Jeff?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Who are Kathy Hilton's sisters that are nearly as famous or as rich as her? Oh, it's you, Kyle. Sorry about that.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I heard that if you ranked all three sisters together, that Kathy Hilton actually ranks number one. That was on BravoCon, I believe.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So Kyle's like, wow, your house is so pretty, which, you know, Kyle doesn't believe because this house is so unique. It's like in Spanish style. It's very unique. Kyle really likes a gutted and marbled and painted white house. And that's not this house at all. So she's kind of like, hmm. Very nice house.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Cal doesn't know what to do with someone's house that has a unique artistic vision. She's like, if the house doesn't look like Kathy's or Kris Kardashian's, I don't understand the decor. She's like, where's your black and white checkerboard foyer?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Do you not have neon signs anywhere?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And so we find out that she's just so rich, she's got houses everywhere. And she lives next door to one house that she lives in.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And then we see a picture of him and her in her poker outfit.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
this is all such a flex on kyle richards it's hilarious to be able to have side-by-side mansions in are they are she in bel air it doesn't matter where she is i mean bel air tops beverly hills you know you have side-by-side mansions in bel air and then for your day job you just go and potentially just lose the money that you just have everywhere you're like you know what i
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
i've accumulated so much wealth let me go to vegas and just gamble it i'll just gamble it professionally i will professionally just put this money into the into the ether and that's just how much money she has kyle i don't think kyle even realizes how much how wealthy jennifer is and jennifer really is a poker player i've seen her on world of poker i watched that i used to watch there was like a world series of poker channel on lg tvs and i would watch that while i was eating lunch every because i love poker you know
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And so I would watch that every day. And she was on it sometimes. And she's very, very funny playing poker because, you know, poker is mostly dudes. It's like dudes in sunglasses trying to outboy each other. They're like, I'm a guy. I'm smellier than you.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
You know, that's how the guys are.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And she just, it's so funny to watch her in the middle of all these guys. And then when she loses, she's like,
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So, well, not only does she have side-by-side houses in Bel-Air, she also has a beach house in Malibu. And she goes, but we never go there because there's a ghost there. And he really doesn't like us being there. I can't blame him. So she just has an empty house that she lets the ghosts roam free in. She wants to leave the ghost at peace.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Audible's best of 2024 picks are here.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
From memoirs and sci-fi to mysteries and thrillers, Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And Percival Everett's brilliantly subversive James.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Especially when it's told by a full cast like that. Like it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Go to audible.com slash crappins and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's audible.com slash crappins.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So then Kyle sees the doll in the rocking chair and she's like, oh, don't mind Tiffany.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And you just keep putting these glowing eyes on Tiffany as she holds her little wine glass.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
and then and and kyle's like oh my god that's really creepy oh i think i own that dress in that jacket i'm like kyle you're even competing with the doll but then we do we do find out ripping it off kyle's ripping it off the doll the jumper's like yes the gaultier made that especially for tiffany john paul gaultier
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I mean, we've been talking about how she's rich from being from, she's got that Simpsons money, but like, wow, that is Simpsons money that you're having like these bespoke dresses for your doll.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
But she's also a gay icon, which makes her more than rich because she's a certain kind of famous that you can't just get on your own. You know what I mean? And so Kyle's just like beside herself, looking at all of this and hearing that Jean-Paul
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So Sutton comes in and she says hello and everything. Hey, you remember Jeff, right? He's the butler. He's very fancy like Kathy Hilton. And Sutton's like, oh yes, hi, nice to see you. Nice to see you. I'm giving you best Hollywood right here, everyone. Look at my look, everybody. So they're all saying, oh my God, your look, et cetera. Sparkling water goes around.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Hello, is it me you're looking for? Welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast for all the crap we love to discuss on Yo! Brovs. I'm Ronnie. Over there is a man who's handsome. He's hot. No one ever calls him a snot. It's Ben Mandelker. Hello, Benuni. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. Welcome to the house you've built. How are things over there today?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Kyle is like okay you I hope you guys have your outfits ready for my diamonds and denim party guys and I like Kyle Kyle wanting them to get their outfits ready ahead of time when then when we get to Kyle's party I cannot stand you know I'm putting a pin in it I'm putting a pin in it I'm gonna wait to the party oh could you get Kyle some more sparkling water
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So he goes off and Kyle's like, this is my first party.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Sounds like, well, you might find it liberating. You know, you might finish the party and be like, hell yeah, this is Kyle's house. Now, did you ever figure out how to open up that door that leads outside?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Have you been able to get outside your patio with that chair that is now sideways and blocking it?
Watch What Crappens
#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
You ever figure out how to turn your coffee mate on? Have you tried the on-off switch? Okay, just checking. Yeah, this part would be real liberating. Real liberating.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And then we see a flashback to him being like, I fixed something, babe. It is fixed now.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
He would do so much. He would figure out how to open up doors. He would turn on lights. He even knew how to put a pillowcase on a pillow. Like it's weird to have to do these things on my own now.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
It's like, literally, you just do that. Come to my party at my house. You don't have to say Umansky. You don't have to say Umansky residence. You're having a diamonds and denim party. You don't have to act like you're in Downton Abbey, okay? Just say, hey, y'all, come to the rodeo in 123 Encino Stupid Face Lane.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So they start talking about the trip or whatever.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And then we see a week earlier Dorit and Kyle going at it. And then Jennifer is like, oh, yeah, we were like, damn.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Yeah, I mean, absolutely. I felt better. I felt like a lot lighter the next day. I mean, obviously, we still have to have a conversation. Obviously, I have to invite her nemesis to my party and confront her with her. But like, you know, I think we're moving in the right direction.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Okay, Kyle, I'm taking over your problems with Dorit now. So Sutton is just so huffy and puffy and offended that she was trying to have a sisterhood moment and Dorit argued with her.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And this is all Sutton's fault, because Sutton is the one who got a bee in her bonnet because Erica muttered something. And Sutton's like, everything, there should be no muttering, there should be no stage whispers, everything should be out in the open. And it's such a small thing that she decided to confront Dorit about, and then Dorit went off the handle. And now Sutton is all furious.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And she's like, all I was trying to do was get us as a group to understand that we can express our feelings without being ostracized, without being yelled at, without being ganged up on. And Dorit just kept on talking about Teddy. And you're missing the point, Dorit. The point is, no one actually cares about Teddy. We shouldn't be talking about Teddy in 2024 on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
It's not about Teddy. It's about the integrity of this show. I mean, it's about the whole group as a whole. And Jennifer's like, well, you know, like it's sort of like how Miss America's when they're asked a question and they just keep on talking until they think that maybe they've answered it.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
things are quite good over here it's a little warm here in los angeles so i'm enjoying our warm december day how are things going with you so good i'm having an hgtv day over here i've got a crew in the back doing deck the deck so i'm gonna do my own little mini hgtv show on a deck
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
That was such a funny line, too. I love her. God, she's so good. She's such a great addition to this. But also, Sutton's such a hypocrite because Sutton and Garcelle, especially Garcelle, sits there and makes little side comments constantly to each other. I mean, fucking constantly. And Sutton is the queen of eye-rolling people sitting there and eye-rolling. So whatever, Sutton.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So then Erica arrives over at Dorit's house and Jagger's like, I'll open it, mama. She's like, okay. And so he goes to the door.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
He runs around starting all the fire alarms. He's like, stop it, Zaga. I told you she's not a villain anymore. Hello, Erica.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So Dorit's like, please come on in. I made us some water. She put some lemon slices and cucumber slices in the water. Erica's like, nah, I'm not a man of some water. She's like, well, I am so tired, Erica. I am just so tired. Please ask me about it. I'm so tired.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Erica, reassuring Erica, like, wait, wait until they threaten you with prison. Get back to me.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
We haven't spoken in two weeks. And Erica's like, well, do you feel overwhelmed? And she's like, well, you do see this jug of water. That took me five hours to make, so I guess a little bit.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I love that Erika still has such clear mommy issues that run through this whole episode. They really do. And I love that her therapist is also so good. And actually, one of the best, we'll get to that later, but doesn't really nail the mommy thing like I'd like her to. Anyway, we'll judge the therapist in good time. Adjust your weight, Henry Higgins.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Sarah is like, well, I hope you and Kyle got somewhere on Oceanside. Oh, we definitely did. We definitely did. Listen, Kyle and I got where we needed, which is the beginning and where we get it all out, you know, and now we can start somewhere. And I'm happy about that.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I'm going to call it my big gay deck. I'm thinking I'll just go out there and shoot them. They're so cute. And they're all doing such a good job. I can't wait to show you. And so that's been fun. And then that's it. Otherwise, just keeping up with these housewives. Girl, these shows are so funny. Beverly Hills was so funny last night. I was dying laughing at this show. So good. Really well done.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
and so we see bows and her daughter you know taking pictures on their trip and um so then they're talking about how busy bows is it's crazy that she's flying here and there and still coming to a party and then um now we're going to talk about sutton Anyway, so sudden talking about sisterhood. Honestly, it just felt so hypocritical. And then she raises her voice at me. I raise my voice back.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And then she's mad at me. How dare I?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Well, yeah, and I lost it on the sprinter with her too. And then we see a flashback where Sun goes, well, you know, by the way, there was a moment when Erica, you kind of whispered something to Kyle.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
It's like, well, Erica, that was a lot. So we come back, and actually, now we're going to start cross-cutting between the Erica and Dorit conversation with the Jennifer Tilly group. So Kyle is like, you know, when you first brought that up, Sutton, in the sprinter to Erica, why didn't you speak up? And she's like, well, you know, because I could hear her sage whisper.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And she said, well, that's not what Dorit said last night. And then we see a flashback to all that happening in Oceanside.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
and then um sounds like i mean the whole point of my sisterhood act is that we don't talk about each other behind each other's backs especially in a whisper at the table do you get it erica i mean that's literally what you're doing though right now you guys have i can't gathered gathered in front of a doll like the only one who is not keeping this the only one who is keeping this pact is annabelle the rest of you guys are talking behind each other's backs right
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
If ever I need a good piece of fish, a good piece of meat, I am going to Whole Foods. It is without question the best place for me to find those sort of things.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And so Erica's like, whatever. We all say things under our breasts. So stupid. So then back to Sutton, she's like, but this, this is an amazing group of women. We have an amazing dynamic. And I'm like, what has happened to us? We've unraveled. Girl, you were never unraveled. You were never unraveled. What are you talking about?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Yeah, Sudden is the last person to ever talk about being rattled and sane. Let's just go back to Patrick Mike. Yes.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Go back to like literally 60% of her scenes on this show when she's screaming and crying over nothing.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Or just flash forward to the end of the episode. So she's like... Or 10 minutes from now. Yeah, you're exactly right. She's like, listen, I am not angry with Doreen. And all of a sudden we hear...
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And they're just stopping. They're annoyed that they have to stop because they just keep crying and just keep looking at the ground like, oh, my God, we have to wait for this fucking clock. The clock never stops. It just keeps going and going. And they get mad. And Jennifer can see they're annoyed.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
don't worry guys it's okay it's okay to be interrupted because we're basically being interrupted by Cher it's like Cher is here with us right now like she just put it into it like you can't be annoyed this is a religious home and here we worship share so get your shit together you know and those hands do not go backwards I'll tell you that that much it's so funny they do not go backwards oh you know Cher if they could share would have done it share would have turned it back yeah
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Beverly Hills has been good. It's been fine this season. It's always good. I like this show. Well, it's not always good. Let's face it. But it's been pretty good. But last night, it was like, oh, this show still got it. It was really, really good last night.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So, well, I'm not angry with Dorit. I just, if I could turn back. I heard that laugh, like you thinking I didn't get your Cher joke.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I was like, Ronnie, I was like, he'll get it. He'll get it. Give him time. And now I'm realizing I did get it. I got it. You just like, I'm gay. So you've done better, Ben.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
You've done better. No, no, it wasn't that. I was like, oh, I think. I just heard you're like, he didn't get it last. And I was like, oh, I think I was supposed to sing this song because I'm gay. It's like a gay trigger. You're supposed to do, if someone says that, they wouldn't turn back the time. I was supposed to go, if I could turn back time.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
No, it was more like I was laughing because I felt like,
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
i i like i made my little joke and then i was afraid you didn't get it so i like i re-emphasized it more more specifically and then you were like uh-huh and then i was like oh i'm i'm like forcing this joke to land right now i'm like if cher could turn back time wow she would have so much fun with this clock right now people am i right she sure would do it Do you believe in life after clocks?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So, yeah, share. She should come share. Am I right, guys? My mouse is still frozen. I just want to announce that to everyone. My mouse is still frozen. Are you charging it? I am charging it. I don't know. It's, it's, it's tragic. Luckily, luckily I can scroll with my arrows up and down my notes, but I just feel, I feel like I've lost an appendage right now. This is, this is devastating to me.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I don't blame you. And you've worked so hard on that setup too. It sucks when you put all this work into something and then it's like something little just to Come on, I put so much money and time into you. I shouldn't have to deal with this anymore. I'm pretending I'm 100% right now by buying all this equipment and you're still making me struggle.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
You know what, enough about Kyle's face, okay? Enough about Kyle's face. Her face looks great. I shouldn't be snarky. I just had to take the joke where I could find it. I had to make up for that Cher joke situation.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Your Cher joke was good. It was my reaction that was bad. Go for some low-hanging fruit. Speaking of Kyle.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Yeah, well, the way that I make sure that I enjoy it even more is that I watch New York first, and then that really makes Beverly Hills sing. Because after you get through New York, yeah, when you get through New York and then you can get to Beverly Hills, it's like, oh, yes, thank God.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
um so then we so then we um we go to garcelle and garcelle's like wow here i am standing in the kitchen with my dog kobe and my house manager glenda hello glenda would you like to help me pack into a u-haul i have called sutton to help me with a u-haul i feel great about it hold on i wish my mother could see this moment Are you doing Kabuki right now? You don't have to narrate all this.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Glenda's like, I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy now. I hope you're happy. Stop it, Glenda. You're Glenda, not Glenda. Stop trying to ride the wave. It doesn't count.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So Garcelle's like, I can't believe I can't find that butterfly. Have you seen it? And Glenda's like, popular. Do you want to be popular? No. No.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I mean, how many times have you felt like, oh, this has been such a great deal, and then at the end of the first month, you're like, what just happened?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I watched Real Housewives of New York, and then I watched Dune Prophecy, and I was like, oh, my God, Dune Prophecy is hilarious. They've got a real sense of humor after fucking New York. We'll get to New York later. We'll get to all of this in just a moment. But first, go get your mounting hysteria tour tickets over at watchwhatcrappens.com. That's our 2025 tour, and it starts next month.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So they're doing storage, and their big wacky scene is going to be Sutton driving a U-Haul truck with her assistant Avi. So that's what we're excited for, because they're going to be taking stuff out of storage to Garcelle's new home in... Glamorous Oxnard. Oxnard. Ventura.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
No, Oxnard is the street, but Oxnard is up in Ventura. It's way the fuck out there. I, by the way... Good for her.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
yeah for her also good for her sudden driving that u-haul i've never driven a u-haul and i think i'd be scared too i mean i'm i've i've driven one and let me tell you who was scared everybody around me it was it was it's terrifying that's what's scary about a u-haul is you know that it's an idiot like you driving it and that's the scariest thing when you see one on the street because if they let me into one of those things they'll let anybody and trust me it was not pretty
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Yeah, I'd be so... Well, first of all, she was on the 101 freeway, so that's already, like... That's just... The 101's a lot if you're in, like, a highly visible car, like, where you have lots of windows and no blind spots. But, like, in a U-Haul, where you can't see out the rearview window, you just have to rely on those mirrors. It's just a...
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I'm stressed, but Sutton not only was driving that U-Haul, she seemed like happy as a clam. She seemed really comfortable with it. She was just like toodling down the highway with it. So I liked that. That was a nice, nice dimension to her that she can drive a U-Haul.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So she complains, you know, of course she was like, you know, you need to, you need to get a helicopter because this is real far. This is real far. And I was like, oh, please, it's an hour. It's like an hour and a half away, which is how far Malibu is, really, usually, for people in Hollywood. It's pretty close. It can take like an hour and a half to get to Malibu.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Oxford and Malibu are pretty close, actually. Yeah. Oh, are they? Relatively. Once you start going up PCH past Malibu, everything seems close. It's like, and then you're at Santa Barbara. Yeah. But good for her for going out there. That's so great. I saw her do a house walk through somewhere. I don't know where it was, but she's like, hi, I'm Garcelle Beauvais. I want to show you my house.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
This is the living room. And let me just say,
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
wow garcella can we see upstairs no no no so so they drive to this house and she's like i am obsessed with this door obsessed and it is one of the hugest doors i've ever seen it's really big it's a mansion door on not a mansion i mean it's a big beach house but you know beach houses are generally not mansions and it's as big as the wall it's as big as a wall in a beach house
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Gorgeous door. It was a gorgeous door, but I'm suspicious of giant doors sometimes. They're just too big. I don't want to feel like when I open a door, I'm actually rotating a set in on Wicked. I want to feel like the door is just a door.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Oh, you can't spend time in Texas. Every door is like a mall entrance. My front door in Texas looks like a mall entrance. It's ridiculous.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Sometimes I feel like with those big gas doors, it does feel like you're going to open up that door and there's going to be someone sitting on a couch that rotates in and starts singing. They're so big. They're enormous. Yeah, they really are. Are we expecting 10 people to come in? Are we expecting the Rockettes to come in in formation? Why do the doors have to be that big? You never know.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I mean, it's starting right away. We really waited until the last second to go on sale. And there you are. So go buy gifts for your people. Most of the links are up. We're still waiting on a couple Texas, Charlotte, and possibly Vegas soon. Those should be up. Not Vegas, but the other ones should be up by next week for sure. End of the week this week, supposedly.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So they go see this house. It's great. She did a great job on it. She did a great job. How much work it was and how you know you're picking everything every day. And it's it was so cool to see this. I love to see a nice remodel. You know, she did a really great job. And so then let's see what else happens in this one.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I'm trying to scroll as fast as I can, but as you know, my mouse is dead. So I'm just relying on my little fingers. Let's just do a tour.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
You know, we get a tour of it. It looks really great. And Sutton's like, oh, Garcelle did this all on her own. You know, that whole moment of being proud for your friend, which is cute. Yeah, it's nice. So she's like, look what you've done with your life. And she's like, yeah, I mean... Look what we, and my son said, mom, you've given us a life. It's already incredible.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And then as a single mom, you did this. Then he lifted me up above his shoulders and he said, look, everybody, that is my mom. And you know, I'm the proudest mom ever because I'm officially a good mom. Now I'm going to have my kids in the next episode and I'm going to beg them to call me a good mom before they accuse me of being a runaway who never spends time with them.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Thank you for joining my segment.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Wow. Well, you know, it's hard to get thanks from our children, especially when you force them to spend their summers in the South fixing vending machines. But, you know, they'll thank us eventually. And, you know, I've been thinking about it, by the way, can I just can we get to gossiping? Okay. I've been thinking about it a lot with this group.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
There are things that happen all of a sudden, and then there are, like, shifts that are happening. And not just with Dorit and Kyle, but now we've got Dorit and me. Oh, my God. And this is a person I just had a heart-to-heart with on a boat. And now, look, now I'm in a fight with Dorit.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So I was just going around telling everyone, like, can you believe this giant feud I'm in with Dorit when they just, like... Dorit popped off in in the sprinter van. Yes, but it was like a blip. And now she's like, I just can't even believe the feud that is breaking the internet right now between me and Dorit.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
That is Sutton. She's really overhyping her stupid feud that nobody cares about. So she was like, well, I can tell you this right now. If it comes to divorce or whatever is happening with those children, if she wants me to guide her with finance stuff, that other shoe is going to drop, Dorit. It's going to drop. And Gracella goes, what shoe? Hmm. It's like the PK shoe.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And I think that at some point she's going to realize she's in a big mess and we're going to have to pull together like a sisterhood. We're all going to have to pull together and we are going to have to bring the village to Dorit. We're going to have to re-clothe her, re-home her. She's a mess. She's losing everything.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Well, you know, when I said last year about her jewelry and her robbery and everyone gasped and everyone acted like they never heard it before. And I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Well, I don't think Dorit had anything to do with that robbery, but I think someone did. And I think Dorit just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
End of the beginning of the week next week for sure. Just keep checking back at watchwhatcrappens.com if you are looking for those. And to find the links and all that stuff is pretty easy. Also, go to patreon.com slash watch what crappens to watch our videos. This is an on-demand Patreon video, crappens on demand. Hi there, everybody.
Watch What Crappens
#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Coming soon to Lifetime, executive produced by Garcelle Beauvais. Oh my God, I can't believe I saw my name in the credits of that commercial.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So it's like, oh, God, here she goes. And, yes, she just did it. She's basically bringing up the Internet rumor that PK planned this whole thing. Because if people recall, this was pretty fishy how it happened at the time. When it happened, the reason it was fishy, well, not only because it's PK and Dorit and the Grifters and everybody knows it.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
But at the time, all this news was coming out that BK owed millions of dollars to the Bellagio, and they were coming after him because of gambling debts. Millions, like a lot of money. And everybody else. News about his bankruptcies in London were coming out again, re-emerging because of this news. And it was like $11 million bankruptcy.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Then DeRee went on the reunion and was saying, I own every single thing that I wear on this show. I've bought everything. Everything you've seen on the show is like, I own it. I've got a huge archive of everything I've ever worn on the show, which is bullshit. Everybody knows that she rents half that shit. And the very next night they got robbed.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So it looked like Dorit went on the show to announce that she had all of this money sitting in her closet so that when they robbed her literally the next night, They have TV footage of her saying that she owned all this stuff. So that's what they're going to claim on the insurance. It was very fishy the way that it all went down.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
OK, I'm not saying anybody faked it, but this is why the Internet thought it was fishy. It's not just everybody's mean and cynical. It's fishy because it's them. So the Internet was talking. Dorit obviously heard it. Nobody else on this show is going to bring it up. So Dorit's like, fuck it. I don't have anything to do. My kids are gone. I've got nothing.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I've, I've, I've already blown the load on my, my beach house story. Here we go. Let's just bring up Reddit. Let's do it. Yeah. Why not?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So now we go to Erica's house and, um, her therapist, Dr. Jen and, uh, comes over, um, and Erica offers her some non homemade water, I believe. Tacky. I know. It's like, how about next time you have a guest, you spend some time making some water, okay?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Look for sales on curated cheeses to create a grazing board everyone will love while the dinner's getting cooked. You're in the right place to get all the best accoutrement like nuts, dried fruit, and chocolate.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
It is so funny watching Erica act like little orphan Annie. It has been funny since she got this house, but especially now, because this house looks great. I think this house is so beautiful.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And so she does, and they walk into the next room. It is just gorgeous. I mean, I know it's not the big grand house we're not used to on this show, but it's Spanish architecture like homes in West Hollywood are. And I think it's just gorgeous. I would love this house.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
You can watch these for free if you want to over on our YouTube page, but they're a week after we post on Patreon. Also, we do bonus episodes. Currently, we're doing sold on SLC episodes. as our bonuses. That is a really fun show too. So join us over there for that. Next week is Christmas. We've got a big Christmas bonanza coming up with Reality Gaze. Super fun.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
It's just, it's, It's such a cute house. It's actually kind of funny, because her designs, she wants the black and white of Faya to make it all the stuff that doesn't seem very Sanctuary at all. I mean, she's bringing Laurence Ballard next week, and I don't look at him and think, like, ooh, Sanctuary. I just think of, like, you know, patterns, barfing up on patterns.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And I also think of the Fresh and Easy supermarket RIP, because that's where I saw him once, carrying a basket full of prepackaged vegetables. Ooh, bell peppers and a wrapper. Isn't that something? Fresh and easy. Reminds me of my travels to Inja. So, I haven't seen bell peppers like this since I was in Pakistan.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So, yeah. So, yeah, what you're saying is correct. She's, like, trying to Beverly Hills-ify it. She's trying to Kathy Hilton it, too. And that's not what you do to this house. It's a gorgeous Spanish home, madame. If you do anything, I would take out all the new tile and replace it with, like, Moroccan or Spanish tiles. And, you know, take out all the newer countertops and make them look...
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Spanish do it. It's already look at the, the, uh, beautiful stucco work in there and the beams going through. I mean, it's just gorgeous. Okay. So anyway, the point is she doesn't know what she has. So Erica, look at my mouth. My mic is so excited for your mouth.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I'll tell you if that countertop could turn back time, it would turn back time.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
your your fucking red bucket santa the gay salvation army santa standing up just asking for shared donations Share and share alike.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
You know what I want from Santa? A functional mouse. That's what I want. All I want for Christmas is a scrolling capability with my hand. If I could mouse my mouse. I do want to turn back time and fix my mouse. I just bought it. It goes on.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And it was true because there were paparazzi out there every day and they were like, oh my God, guess Erica's depressed.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So she gives Dr. Jennings what I'm always going to remember from Erica's trauma is that she was Taco Bell shamed literally every day, which is and then she finally got to fuck a famous person. That guy that lived down the street, Armie Hammer or whatever. And then he turned out to be some cat. I was going to say cannonball. What is he?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I think he had a cannibal. He had a cannibal kink. And then, you know, That young man has a cannonball right there.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Sorry. You knew Armie Hammer was going to be fucked up because how do you spend your entire life sounding almost like baking soda, but not quite? Like that's got to fuck you up a little bit.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Yeah. You can never get clean. You know what I mean?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So... I'm going to stop myself. I'm going to stop myself.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
We're going to be also re-releasing some Southern Hospitality episodes. We're going to be rocking and rolling all Christmas. So stay with us then. And that is enough of my spiel, buddy.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
No, go ahead. Don't let me stop you with my nonsense.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I don't think anyone needs any of my Arm & Hammer fanfic in regards to Arm & Hammer. Let's just move on to Erica.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Arm & Hammer fanfic. Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Dana C. Dana Duke. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickless. Jamie, she has no less namey. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Hava Nagila Webber. Know Your Worth with Jason Couric. Sip Some Scotch with Jessica Trotch.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Rigging the Funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She Gets a Name from Us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's Give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino. Always Killin' It, it's Lola Alcalani. We Love Her on the Rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Have a heck of a time with Rebecca.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
The highest tally, it's Sarah McNally.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. The Bay Area Betches, Betches.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And our super premium sponsors.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Ring that bell for Rochelle. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I have something to add. I have something to add, which is that the crappies are coming up. As you all know, they'll be happening on February 1st, which is about six weeks away. So it's time for us to start assembling our categories, et cetera, et cetera. So in the new year, there's going to be two rounds of voting. There will be ballots. But right now, we have to start assembling the ballots.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
It's time to start assembling. So I believe on our social media, there is a story that's a question that's like, there may be a few questions that are asking you things like, who is your favorite? Like, I think it was like, what is your favorite fight? What are your favorite moments? What are your favorite quotes? Things that are like a little harder for us to remember.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
It's easy for us to like go through the cast list and see who's new, who's a villain, etc. But sometimes the things like fights and moments and quotes, those can be really hard for us to remember. So we would love your help if you could go to those stories and type in your answers to those questions that come to your mind.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I love chocolate. If you're in a hurry and forgot something or simply want to avoid the holiday crowds, relax. Order everything you need for a great holiday gathering online at Whole Foods Market on Amazon for easy pickup and delivery.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
If the stories are gone, then we'll find another space for you to submit that stuff. But yeah, we want to collect all that good stuff. So thanks for the help in advance.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Maybe we should pin like a nominations post, like... You know, we're going to leave a nominations post if you want to try and get something in there and just have people post comments we can start going through. But anyway, just check over there, the social, and we'll be doing that. Let's get to Beverly Hills, shall we? What a great day.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
This is called High Horses and Low Blows, which is, yay, great title. And it is Kyle's, you know, just when you think Kyle might be getting an original personality, because now instead of stealing from, you know, LVP, who's been gone forever, and she doesn't have any more pink swings to steal, now she is dating a country star. So, you know, now maybe she'll just be her own person.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
No, now she's just stealing from the country star and LVP because today's party has diamonds in the title like diamonds and rosé. But this one's denim and diamonds. And there's even a miniature horse. So, you know, LVP was sitting at home smoking a cigarette with a glass of wine going, oh, try harder, darling.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And just coughed out the souls of all of the new young people that she's eating up for her new season of Vanderpump Rules. Yes.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And you can tell that Kyle really is mad at Dorit. All that talk about how Kyle and Dorit, like they took the first step towards healing. They got a lot of stuff out. Their friendship is moving in the right direction. But is it really? Because what is the first thing that Kyle does is she invites Camille Grammer to a party because she knows that Camille Grammer will go after Dorit. So...
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
You know, there you go. Kyle will always get over her hatred for somebody if she'll go for somebody else. You know, I mean, Kyle classically brought on Brandi Glanville to go for Denise Richards that year. Pretty, pretty Kyle. So, yeah. And, you know, bless Camille. I mean, really, Camille at the end of the day. You get nothing for nothing. Camille gives so much to TV.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I mean, she really gives very little, but she tries so hard. And I, you know, to those of us who are just, are not always a success at everything we do, Camille is just out there. She's just still trying and God bless her. I hope that everybody takes that as a, you know, inspirational moment. Cause if Camille can keep trying, we can too. Cause Camille just, she bats and she fails.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Make Whole Foods Market your holiday headquarters. Have you ever found the house of your dreams only to learn it has dark secrets?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
She goes up to bat. She strikes out every goddamn time she comes on here.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
and she just keeps going she doesn't even care that she failed she just gets up and keeps swinging a bat around in the air it's like are you trying to hit a ball are you just trying to catch a bee what are you trying to do and she doesn't care she'll just stay on the diamond you know but you know what though uh she does get under people's skin and so she does what she sets out to do her purpose
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Her purpose is to annoy other people, and she does that. I mean, I don't think on any Real Housewives show, any Bravo show, we have heard the C word uttered so many times in such a short amount of time. I mean, and who would have thought that that would happen on Beverly Hills of all the franchises, the most polite of the franchises. So... You know, Camille serves her purpose.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
You know, she tries to say her piece. Maybe she's successful at that. Maybe she's not. But she does, at the very least, always get under somebody's skin, whether it's Dorit, whether it's Rinna, whether it's Kyle at one point. You know, God bless Camille Grammer.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
She gets under your skin and then she's thrown out in the trash, you know? Listen, if you keep failing, don't, you know, just don't keep trying. Just keep failing. Just be fine with failing like Camille. It's so fun for the rest of us. So we start at Garcelle's house and Garcelle is now to the point where she's literally just doing soap opera scenes with herself.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Netflix's new series, No Good Deed, follows three families vying to buy a 1920s Spanish-style villa that they think will solve their problems.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
You know, like especially on days of our lives, they will give each other monologue. I mean, they'll give themselves a monologue if they don't have if their kids left for college. Arlene Davidson will stand in that kitchen and talk to her damn self. Stefano DiMera. I wonder if he's alive. I wonder if he'll be coming for me today. Is there cheese in my kitchen? God, I wish John Black would fuck me.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
R.I.P. John Black. They are not above a monologue and neither is Garcelle. So Garcelle is sitting at her dining room looking at herself on the internet because she has just received a screener and sees, she goes, oh my God, wow. The opening scene of my movie. Executive producer, Garcelle Beauvais. Oh my God. I am not getting teary eyed about this.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
i'm not doing a monologue in my kitchen i'm not i refuse i wonder how stefano's doing i wonder if john black will me i wonder if there's monster cheese in my fridge wow yeah i was really amused by garcelle having this moment first of all this is a sequel so do you still are you still allowed to be like teary-eyed and like surprised to see your name as executive producer when you already produced part one so that's like go to itunes and i cry when i see my name on a podcast girl please yes you're still allowed to look look at me i've made it
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
But as the sellers discover, sometimes the home of your dreams can be a total nightmare.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
She's like, oh, mom, I wish you could see me now. So then we go to Dorit's house and she's putting sunblock on Jagger. And he's like, oh, mommy, are those your glasses? And she's like, yes, they are, baby. Come here. He's like, girl, those are really nice, mama. They say NBA on it. And she goes, well, they're Louis Vuitton. They're part of the NBA collection.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I like that she gives the specific details of where the sunglasses are from. You gotta homeschool those kids.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Like she's on the red carpet. That's what homeschooling is. I think her kids are homeschooled. And so if that's true, that's what I read on Reddit, which makes it true. But if that is true, then this is an education. These are Dorit's children. You know what's in the alphabet for them? G, G, C, C. Wait, is it G, G? Is Gucci? See, I'm not homeschooled. I'm not homeschooled by a witch.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
No Good Deed, starring Lisa Kudrow and Ray Romano, is now playing only on Netflix. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
G, G, G, G, Y, S, L. B is for diabetes, number 17.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
L, V, an MBA. So, it's a deconstructed alphabet. Now we go to Erica's house and she's just like,
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
It's funny though, because when you really look at the picture, she's looking at these designs that are all black and white stripes. And you know how close she was to coming to prison with all that shit that Tom had going on? It's just interesting that she's looking at like an old timey prison outfit.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
She's like, I'm totally over the trauma, everybody, which is why my whole house will be orange and black and white striped.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
That's the design board, the inspiration board. Well, that's for her hamburger. She's got one Whataburger theme and then one Hamburglar theme.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Ooh, a cheeseburger from McDonald's sounds so good to me right now. I just had a bowl of oatmeal in an attempt to be healthy. I'm like, I'm going to be heart healthy today. I'm going to have some oatmeal. And the very first thing I do after I'm finished with my bowl of oatmeal is start craving a McDonald's cheeseburger. This is fucked up. It's not fair.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
You've heard us talking about the latest Dash Pass annual plan benefit, Stream Max with ads included at no extra cost. If you haven't tried it yet, what are you waiting for?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Leah Black came over last night because she's in town and we were on the Jeff Lewis show together yesterday. So she came over to see the house and she brought chocolates. God damn it. I've been like Pac-Manning those chocolates all day long. I'm just like, I don't need to eat that whole thing. So I just leave it on a counter.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And then before you know it, there's a trail of chocolates half eaten on counters and they have been eaten. I went down the whole maze.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
yeah chocolate does not last in and near me for amazing ratio time god that's so good so good so jennifer tilly's let's go over to the best scene of the day over at jennifer tilly's home so she's talking to i'm guessing her assistant right jeff her gay yeah oh my my mouth stopped working uh-oh
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
Well, this is this is the problem when you decide to finally get a Bluetooth mouse. And now guess what?
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
The mouse is like, oh, you got it. I told you, you got to get the Apple one because those other ones you got to charge every two hours. This is, I literally, I'm having a sudden moment.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
I let the mouse go. Okay, mouse, come on, come on. I'm doing a podcast. Talk about Jennifer Tilly while I save the mouse.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So Jennifer Tilly, you know, like most housewives, keeps the gaze working because some of us just, thank God for this, because I don't even know what I'd be, well, I know what I'd be doing. I'd be waiting table still, but a lot of us just don't have any skills. Me, one of them, I'm a terrible waiter.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
But, you know, thank God in Beverly Hills, even if you're not a real housewife on TV, there are plenty of women like these women who really do keep gays working. I mean, they will just get all of us floppy gays in there and just hand us, you know, hangers and a steamer and just have us go, you know, just go personal assistant gays. And Jeff is one of the. real housewives in the gay economy.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
And honestly, there's so much to watch on Max. From True Detective, The Last of Us, Succession, there's really so much that I would want to watch while I have my DoorDash deliver me stuff.
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#2658 RHOBH S1405 Part One: Into the Lion’s Denim
So he's working for her and, you know, he's not great at it because he's like, I don't know where the wine glasses are. which this is why he can't be employed anywhere else, you know. But Jennifer Tilly loves it.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
Show me the option of what you're going to wear.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
She's like, it's Puckery Bonnie. It's like, Puckery no, no. Puckery no, no. No, no, no. Terrible.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
And she's like, oh, this hat is just so fabulous. I can't wait to wear this in St. Lucia. Black lace bra high heels. There you go, Uncle Jim.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
She's like, look at these house shirts. Cute.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
And she's like, yeah, well, I met this woman. She was a princess and she sold me a Birkin bag. So look at this.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
Wow, that is stunningly beautiful, this bitch. Look at this, her name is Crocodile Vintage. It's divine. I need one of those boxes in my life.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
So Erica tells Kyle, oh my God, you are way too rich to carry that ugly luggage. I can't take it, Kyle.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
And she's like, um, wait a minute. I have to sleep in the same bed as Sutton? Oh, God. I've traveled with Sutton before. I don't think we've ever shared a bed. But I have, however, slept next to her on a plane. And she wakes up like this. Oh! Oh!
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
And she's like, oh no, my candy came apart. Disaster! I can still eat it, right?
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
I don't just want to sit around with things festering. We haven't said one, two words to one another, but I know she's going to come in with a wrath. And then I know when she's coming in not in a wrath.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
You know, I like everyone to like me, and I really thought, oh, these girls all hang out together, we're gonna have sleepovers, but they have history, and it's a little clicky, you know? I mean, it's like when I was a kid in high school, I always wanted to be a pop- girl, but I'm just that girl with dirty hair who didn't take showers very much.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
And just, you know, I probably shouldn't say that part.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
You pose as a friend and oftentimes you work as an enemy. This is not going to be a sudden trial and seek. She's like, oh no, you're being ridiculous, Sutton. And he's like, what do you want from me? What do you all want from me?
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
Bye. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley auto.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Catherine DiBernardo has our heart-o.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Jamie, she has no less name-y. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. The Bay Area Betches, Betches.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. She's got a leg up. It's Beth on knee.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. It's our queen, it's Queen Laifa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Know your worth with Jason Kerr. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony, Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. She gets an A, it's Kelly B. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lola Alcalani.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
Give them hell, Miss Noelle. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
Falling all over the place. I get so weak at the knees, I can hardly breathe.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
I want to communicate like civil people, picky. Civil, civil people.
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#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped
can get more money out of you when we do get divorced all right you're down with that and she is doing this thing she's just looking at him she's like but tell me pk tell me do you have in your mind dorit and i are going to work through things but divorce is divorce there and he's like i don't know i'll have to talk to my divorce attorney about how to answer that oh you don't know
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And in Toronto, we're going to be covering the classic Real Housewives of New York episode, December, Berkshires County.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Which is probably something that gets said a lot in Bel Air. It's that moment where you're just trying to convince yourself not to eat a tub of ice cream.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
I can eat whatever I choose and I choose this. Being thin tastes better than thin face.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
That's season eight, episode nine for any of those of you following along. So we're excited to see you guys over there. Get your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. We're also going to be after that in Atlanta, Washington, Philly, Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, and Las Vegas. We're going to add a couple more dates. So check back over at watchwhatcrappens.com for tickets and links.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Well, hey, she got Sutton some press. I mean, that's probably better than Sutton would have done alone for that weird fashion show. But, you know, the press does say roadkill on it. So I don't really know who's winning. I don't know that anybody's really winning this one. And so we see the headlines and we see wacky clips of Kathy walking out. She's in a big butterfly outfit in her.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
They cut to her and she's just laughing. She's like, I only have the best intentions. Hilarious. And she's wearing this butterfly outfit. And then we cut to Sutton sitting in her kitchen, which has a big colorful metal butterfly in the background.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And this is non-drunk Sutton, so she just doesn't understand why anybody would think that she ever had a problem. She's like, can we just not, let's just not talk about it. Her eyes don't slit into the evil, satanic look that they get. So they're gossiping, and Garcelle's like, oh, I forgot to tell you. When I had dinner with her, I said to her, what's your beef?
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And she's like, you think I have beef with Sutton? And I said, well, it's not one-sided, is it? And so then we cut to Erica and Dorit's talking about it too. And she's like, well, I had dinner with Garcia. And she said, Dorit, stop mentioning the drinking thing. You know she's sensitive about it. And I said, first of all, I welcomed her.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Yeah, but you still made fun of her drinking thing, which she's sensitive about. Answer the question.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
What about the argument once again? OK, Erica, call me when Sutton is in like 10 lawsuits, about tens of millions of dollars of stolen money and, you know, throwing people in jail, which they didn't even bring up.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Your lucky ass is lucky they didn't bring up that Marco Marco thing of throwing those guys in jail because you couldn't pay your bill and lied and used one of Tom's best friends to get him thrown in and then get so wasted on pills and booze that they're falling over and falling asleep on boats. Okay, call me when that happens, Erika.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And I'll tell you who feels more pain than Erika Jayne. Anyone with ears that are subjected to your songs. Okay? It hurts. That said, I'm really kind of liking Erika this year for the most part.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Also, if you want videos or traders recaps or now... Next week, we're going to be moving into other recaps of other things. Probably next week, we're going to be having airport snaps, which is where we go to airports and judge the fuck out of people sitting in a corner while we record on our iPhones.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
People are always saying, you know, real housewives ruins these women's lives. I don't know about anybody would go on. I think sometimes, you know, as the butterfly keeps appearing on this show, on this episode, I think a lot of times housewives helps them because it breaks them down. It just breaks them down.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And then they come out a better person, you know, because Erica was a true asshole before all of that happened. And I think she's better, you know, better now.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And now she doesn't give a fuck. Yeah, exactly. Before she actually gave more of a fuck than anybody, but now she actually doesn't because she's been traumatized. So I would just like to send a thank you note to trauma. Because, you know, you really work mirror. You're an artist. You're an artist. Drama.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
She's like, those girls cut me no breaks. Want to talk about cutting brakes?
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
So probably the next couple of weeks, we'll have some good old-fashioned airport snaps over on our Patreon. And that's also where you get the videos, which we're on right now. If you want videos and you don't want to pay for Patreon, you can get them a week later for free over at YouTube. Okay.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
you know so um she was like well i had a conversation and carcel defended herself and i said you look at her behavior with rose tinted blouses and then we go back to settings home and garcelle's like i said you can keep joking about the same thing and that you know she gets upset about but it's not going to work out you know And she says, well, she can joke about it.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And she goes, well, she can joke about being an alcoholic because she's the alcoholic. But you can't joke about it. Wait a minute. I do not joke about being an alcoholic. I'm not an alcoholic. What are you saying? Oh, just calm down.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Of course she would. Of course she would say that. So then we cut back to the other house.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And, yeah, Erica's like, yeah, five years.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
If that makes it worse. I mean, doesn't that make it better? If you're going to just blindly defend somebody and it's a friend for years, that makes more sense than blindly defending somebody you met five minutes ago.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Not this group, but all that said, I do agree that they both kiss up to their friends' ass. They both kiss up to their friends and defend them too much. It would be kind of nice to see Sutton just have to fend for herself and Dorita have to fend for herself.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Yeah, look, I feel the same way. I am gonna put it in my will that on my gravestone, I want it to say, Lisa Rinna started Puppygate. Lisa Rinna called the press, okay?
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
I've got my legs crossed on this like little Ottoman thing I got from the homo goods. And I really, I don't know. I'm too old to maybe cross my legs like that. How am I? Just pull a muscle on your Ottoman. I Tanya Harding to myself. Oh no, not with the Ottoman. Or now there's a new Tanya Harding, that girl who beat somebody over the head with a baton. Did you read that? Yeah. Did not read that.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
So I think Eric is just so glad she gets maid service again. She's like, oh, thank God.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Oh, they had more than made up. They were rolling on the couches together like they used to. I mean, disgusting. And Garcelle's like, yeah, I think that Kyle and Dorit having a beef, like Sutton loves that because then it makes Sutton able to be closer to Kyle. And really all Sutton cares about is being close to Kyle. Why?
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
But we also talked about seeing Kyle at Morgan's concert. Flashback a week earlier. We see Kyle standing at Morgan Wade's concert. Was it revenge or was it just straight up horniness? So we come back and Garcelle's like, well, I mean, it's just wild. We can talk about Mo and his incident. And yet we see Kyle hanging out with Morgan at a concert with her name tattooed all over her.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Was there a scissoring festival that you guys were excited in? I mean, what was happening? I didn't know. I didn't know Lil Fair was back. So Sutton's like, don't even say that. You know what? Let's just introduce it and see what she'll say. I love that they're so messy. They're like, let's confront Kyle about Morgan again.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Order us some oysters and send her a box of scissors as a gift and see if she's battling tomorrow.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Who was that? Is she on Bravo? No, she should be. I hope she's on Bravo soon. They were running. She's, I guess, a track person and she had her baton and then someone was passing her and she bonked her on the head with her baton. Good for her. And now she's crying like, why isn't anybody thinking about how I feel? Could you bonk somebody on the head with a baton?
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Eso a muchos, pero más eso, pero lo haciendo lunes para cinco días.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
understand because you don't have a dog you know it's very difficult you don't understand what comes over a dog when they see somebody at the door or hear the doorbell ring i mean that the dog that is everything and the dog's just trying to help you like they're coming to get you it's like a girl standing out there with my cookies like do you know who you're barking at stop terrorizing the person who's gonna let me binge for the next weekend
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Meanwhile, her cleaning lady is like holding seven bottles of kombucha. Like, what does this bitch want from me?
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
So she gives her the gift and then they walk into the office and she's like, oh, what a pretty room. And she's like, Marta, Jesse, puedes traer dos vasos de agua. And she's like, wow, you speak Spanish? He goes, well, yeah. I grew up speaking Spanish because, like, you know, when you're living in L.A., that's how you boss people around. And then after that, my husband was Mexican.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Unfortunately, all I could say to his family at first was, please get me some water and move this fucking kombucha over before I sue you.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
So, Carl's like, well, you know, like, I just, we see a flashback of Carl saying, I feel like I was signaled out because you, like, got the notary, and then you said you didn't have preconceived ideas, but your actions say otherwise. Your ideas are preconceptos.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Kyle looks so shocked when she actually happens to listen to something somebody else said. She's like, oh.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Yeah. Bonk Chrishell on the knees or whatever. But I feel bad for the girl because she didn't even get her own, like, Tonya Harding name. I still don't know her name. Everybody just calls her the new Tonya Harding. And I'm like, that's so sad. I mean, she even upped her game. She bonked somebody on the head with a baton. That's better.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Oh, Kyle, I almost fell for the trap of feeling for Kyle. Cause I was kind of feeling, feeling for her. I'm like, yeah, that must really suck to see your ex making out with someone. But then I remembered that he also knows what it's like to see your wife making out with some younger woman, Kyle.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And then her saying that she wants a separation. And then now she's like, and then he left. And I just act, I just like, what? Like, what did he, why would he leave? She's like, finally, I said, he's going to move out.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
I was like, yeah, because you told him he wanted to separate. I'm like, what are you, Kyle?
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
yeah this was interesting i don't think i remember that they were separated before they got divorced i didn't know that either he got cancer and then he you know this is men i'm telling you still get a girlfriend you know men will still get a goddamn girlfriend i'll tell you men men can just men do it what can i tell you especially like rich men you know yeah so
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
he got a girlfriend she got pissed when he saw her like rubbing his bald head in the thing she's like I mean I hated the guy but still get the fuck away from my man
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
exactly and so um so she tells this whole story and kyle just goes wow do you have any follow-up questions kyle do you want to know more about this situation i think kyle was that's what i'm saying when kyle was like legitimately shocked because she's used to just not listening to people but bo's kind of caught her off guard because she's so business-like you know and kyle was actually listening it was like
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
wow, I mean, damn it, she trumped me. How am I gonna trump this?
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Yeah. The struggling with the feelings of somebody that you love moving on, even though they're about to die. And where does that leave you? Kyle's like. But the paparazzi, right? I mean, okay, wait. Did paparazzi shoot pictures of this lady rubbing your dad's husband bald head? Okay. I win. I win. Still winning. Okay, let's go back to my story now.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
So she is telling her, you know, he feels bad because he knows I'm in, you know, it hurt me and it hurt the girls.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Yeah, I mean, I think it doesn't even matter because you left him, Kyle. That's it. That's what happens when you say get out. Now, is it deserved? Probably. He's probably cheated on you a million times. I'm not saying it's not deserved, but I don't like the whole blaming the woman thing. Like, you don't know that chick. Leave her alone.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
She sees a rich man that she's dating in an airport and she's making out with him. Like, you go, girl. Get your bag. Get your bag. But Kyle coming on national television and insinuating every single week that this is just some dirty slut who's...
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And she goes, the photo? It changed things. Is that what you're saying?
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And she goes, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, hold on a minute.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
would you like to join us she's like i would actually so she's just sitting over there making all these noises and finally kyle just starts having to crack up she's like oh my god hilarious hello there this is a two-part recap okay this is the end of part one so thank you so much for listening to this uh just come back a little later for part two
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Etcher.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns. She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Yeah, I agree. Batonerella. I mean, I don't know. okay so here we are with uh speaking of bonking over the people over the heads for no reason let's go on to a housewives recap today it's real housewives of beverly hills season 14 episode 15 14 15. um trouble in paradise sequences um by the way just before we start this dorit was on watch what happens live last night with gabby
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Braves. I'm Ronnie. That's the gorgeous and talented Ben Mandelker over there on the other screen. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Great. How are you doing today?
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And Dylan, and I don't care. I still can't hate Dylan. I think he's so cute. Like, I don't care. I don't like his last scene in the trailer. He's so cute and nice. Like, I still like him. And Dorit was so depressed. Dorit is just miserable. And I guess I don't blame her. I'm like, she's poor now, like for real. And PK won't speak to her and stuff.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And she can't, I guess, afford her stylist because she was dressed kind of like a Christmas present.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Yeah. So let's start with Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It's a big home visit episode, which I liked. Everyone goes to each other's house and stuff. So we're at Erica's house and Dorit comes and she's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
What could have happened? Maybe there was a lot of stuff that was cut out of, you know, our favorite guy who was like, I need to discuss with you.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
And then there's like a big fight and stuff takes place in a fresh and easy way.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Okay. Well, everybody write that down in a notebook somewhere. Please go back and check. Please, please hold me accountable. Um,
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
So Erica lights a candle the second she comes over to the house. I think Erica's house smells like farts. There, I said it. Because I don't trust anybody who lights a candle the second I come over. Open a window, fart outside, like we do in my home. Unless it's Hanukkah. Unless you're what? Unless it's Hanukkah, naturally.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
It's not drizzly at all. It's beautiful over here in Texas. Yeah, I can see. Yeah, look how sunny it is. Freedom's, but hey, the sun's out, so I guess that's all that really matters at the end of the day. Everyone, welcome to the show. Sun's out and truly guns are out. Yeah. Yes. We are, I'm going to shoot the sun. Some can't decide what is going to be on his passport. I'm going to shoot it.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
How's he supposed to knock? What's he supposed to knock on the open door? Elijah's whole thing is knocking, right?
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
I had a roommate in New York who changed her name to Elijah. Like she had another name, but she was like, I'm going to go by Elijah now. And we're like, okay. And so whenever she would come home and forget her keys, we would make her sit there and knock. We were like, well, you shouldn't have changed your name. What if it was a vampire? Names have meanings.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
You have to be invited in if you're a vampire.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
You don't have to be invited to murder me just to come in.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Yeah, I respect the space. I respect your personal space. Before I murder you.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
So Erica is like, would you like some water? Oh, Jesus Christ. You started with a fart candle and now you're leading up to water. Why even come to Erica's house? Like what's here? Wallpaper.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
So Dorit just walks through squealing and squeaking and pretending she's not in a room as big as her closet. And so she's like, well, I don't know.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
The house is incredible. Total transformation.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
It looks like she's sleeping outside, which she probably will be one day.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
So then Bose shows up. I take back what I said about the water. You're giving me cookie and coffee cake. Okay, I take it back, Fart Candle.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Everybody, welcome to the show. We are on tour. We're going out again tomorrow. We're so excited. Seriously, though, because we're going to have some fun times. We're going to be in Cincinnati, where we will be recapping Summerhausen. Then, after Cincinnati, guess where we're going to go? Minneapolis. And there, we're going to recap Southern Charm.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Yeah, they're always broken. Now they're dead. So, you know, Bose comes in and she's like, she just kind of looks around. And then she doesn't really say much about the house. She's just like, well, this is not necessarily a housewarming gift.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
I could never be a woman. I looked at that thing. It looked like. I mean, it looked like the pasta that Denise Richards tried to make in the Denise Richards episode after this, where she wouldn't rest the dough. She's like, let's pretend the dough's rested. And instead of resting it, she just started putting it through the machine. So it was all these holes. I mean, I could not.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
Who looks at that and is like, you know what? I can wear that. I just can't do that. I can't do what I wish.
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#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped
So anything that goes wrong is these girls fault. Not my fault. Ha. So Dorit is just staring at her swimsuit bottoms with her mouth open. And I think she doesn't like them because they're very big bottoms for some reason. I don't know. She's looking at them like she doesn't really like it. But you know what? Beggars can't be choosers. So she's going to take it.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
So she's like, well, you know, the good person is the Pringles PK. The bad person is when he's raging. Now stop giving me CD! What?
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
PK is ruthless, especially if he's walking down aisle seven in pavilions and going after some pickle chips. He is ruthless in business, which means he'll be ruthless in the business of divorce. I keep yelling from the mountaintops, hey, you need to take shelter. No one's listening to me. Hey, I'm on top of a mountain and it's snowing in Pasadena.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Get off the road, everyone, before you crash off the side of a cliff. But no one's listening. No one hears me.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Yeah. Someone online made a good point in a comment to us that said something like, because I was saying last week, like, how could PK even have any money? I don't believe that he has any. So this is all really weird to me. But someone said when he went through all of his lawsuits in London that he probably hid a bunch away.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
which is true, but how can she legally get access to money that he's hidden away? You know? So I don't really understand where this is, but, or where they're going with this, but I just feel like at this point, she's making more money than PK because of the TV show. So I would think that he's going to come after her for money. I don't think that he's got much to take, but I guess time will tell.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Can't we get you to follow about this so we can run the bases on you?
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Correct. Legally, you can scoop up everybody so that you don't have good counsel. Yeah, but he has to pay the council. That's the problem. He can't go hiring every lawyer in town. But I think their advice is correct with Dorit. Because Dorit's falling into the trap of being like, oh, guys, well, he called and he was nice. So maybe everything's different now. No, things are not different.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
If that man is still not showing up at your house and spending time with those children, things have not changed.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I don't think so. I think you have to retain the lawyer. I think if you went to a lawyer and I ended up not using them, that you would be able to use my lawyer, I think. What the fuck do I know? Nothing.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
So Sutton's talking about how she was daddy's girl and he didn't say a lot, but he liked being in the kitchen and they'd make chili. And her mom was a terrible cook. She only did frozen fish sticks. So it went from really great food to really terrible food. And then she talks about how she likes scrambled egg sandwiches with mayonnaise. People think they're disgusting, but they're not.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I was like, wow, I love it. It's like an emotional tour de force over the egg sandwich. I'm like, well, you go for it. And then we, you know, it's just lots of dad memories and stuff. And then they go to this room, like this relaxing room, the den or the dad den, and he designed it and built it. And there was a wood burning stove and he'd make pancakes on it.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
She goes, okay, mother, I'll see you soon. Well, why are you asking Reba to do it? Call Instacart. I mean, I have to have Avi. Why isn't Avi doing it? So then Kyle sits in her bed and calls Kathy and Kathy's like, oh, hi, I'm just going outside. It's so beautiful. I had a dinner with the girls and the other, oh gosh, did you see the flowers? I had those flowers made.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
She's like, Kathy, you're on FaceTime. You need to stop holding the phone up to your ear. She's like,
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I was like, okay, well, now I can see the top of your sun hat.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
So then Garcelle is on the couch with Junebug, and Junebug's just staring at Garcelle. She's like, well, hello. Where's your mother? Why are you staring at me?
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
All right, let's go find your mother. You're making me very uncomfortable. The dog's just like...
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I texted mama, but she couldn't read it. She couldn't open my notes. And I was like, I said, once you get on your wifi, you could open it. It just needs to download. I thought she got it done. Oh my God. You're talking to my mother about wifi. Are you kidding? She tried to have that outlawed.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
And then Kyle goes, what was your dad's name again? Kyle! Kyle, just be quiet. You know what I mean? Like, who says that? You should know that. Just be quiet.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Christmas must go on. Everybody get their dresses on, and we shall have crab cakes. Sutton, do them. Well, Sutton failed, everybody. Let's just enjoy this Christmas. It's like, well, geez, my God, that was the next day.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
So she's like sentence a little on edge. And I think that's understandable. I mean, you know, ever since Ted passed, but she's been putting this conversation she's wanted to have with her mom for a very long time. And I think it's really building up and she's just scared. That's what it is. She's scared.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
So now Sutton downstairs is telling the clean, the maid, I guess, Cheryl, she's her housekeeper. She's like, um, Cheryl, I'm waiting on my mother. And Cheryl's just like, Oh. Now I told you if I was going to keep this job, it was under the, it was under the order that I would not have to mess with your mother. I need my mother. And she's like, okay, okay.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
So she walks out so pissed off that she has to go to Reba's house and she goes, okay, she goes, knock, knock. She goes, it's time for dinner. And Reba's like, well, okay. Now, Dixie, I'm leaving you for a while, but I'll be back in a little while. And then we pan over to her fucking dog, Dixie. This was the most perfect dog. And this was Dixie Carter in dog form, wasn't it?
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
And she just stares at him like, pig. And he's like, eating it with my hands, bitch.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
It was definitely a power play. I love that he just reached in with his fingers, grabbed a pickled okra and swallowed it in front of her face and then walked away. I was like, yes, Avi.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Sutton is, she's like, I'll make the crab meat patties while we're talking. Okay, so, okay, mother, this is my capsule collection. She's like, this is your what? My capsule collection, mother. Okay, this is what I've been working on. This is my sustainable green line that I do for Sutton Brands.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Well, for all my life, I've been wanting to acceptance from my mother and she was always a career woman. And I'm so proud of her. I just want it to be reciprocated. So, um, Reba's rubbing her fingers on this like kind of plastic skirt thing. And she goes, is this real? She goes, yes, mother. It's real like real Saran wrap or real, real mother. It's just real as an animal skin or pencil erasers.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
What is this supposed to be? It's touching it.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
So then there's a beige trench coat jumpsuit thing, and it has a big round patch that says name them. Who's going to wear that? No. Yeah. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not your mother. So you don't need my validation, but that is a stupid jacket. Take the name of them off there. You need to either have fashion or you need to have t-shirts with like your funny sayings on them.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
You can't make high fashion and then put housewives quotes on them. No one's paying for that.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
And then she sees a chair, and she's like, this is the last place I ever saw my dad alive. And she talks about how she was leaving for one of her dance performances, and she remembers saying goodbye to her dad, and she kind of tugged on his toe, but he was really sick. And she said he was really out of it, and then the next day he died. And she still has...
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Now listen, I'll tell you who it would look good on. Inspector Gadget. Is he around? Maybe he's got a budget. Well, it's very complicated. It's very intense work because every single piece that you see has a code. And it goes to London because that's where they're based. It's super fast and it ships out from Houston. It's not easy, Mama. She goes...
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
So then we cut back and Sutton's like, I'm going to cut up some lettuce real fast. Okay. What would you like to drink? Cyanide, a bleach, got a little drain out here. You want me to help you? What would you like mother? She goes, you realize I live by myself, right? So she opens the fridge and starts going through it. She says, you want me to get out the crab meat? She goes, yes, please mother.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Thank you. Sutton's really about to have a breakdown. I don't know, for some of this, I just see the mamas just being like, whatever, great job, what's next? Like, Sutton's really expecting a lot out of this woman that I just don't think she has a dinner together.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
And who put this ice in the ice maker? Don't tell me. I already know. The care bear over there.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I'm anti-dips. She goes, so I was talking to John Clark last night and that's her brother. So we see the flashback of her talking to her brother. And she's like, well, I just don't know if she gets me or understands what I do. And he goes, oh, well, I think so. I mean... she didn't say that. She goes, so you just have ESP? He goes, well, I mean, you can tell. She goes, I can't tell.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I feel like she's so guarded. And he goes, you know, I mean, think about what she does for a living.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
guilt because whenever she would pass that sofa in high school or wherever he would always hold out his hand and he would slap it, you know, they would give a high fives or he would give her a thumbs up. And when he was on that sofa, he was so out of it and he didn't put his hand out that day. And she thought it was strange, but she grabbed his big toe and kind of pulled on it.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Like her face has that look like she just squints at her and she goes, well, why are you making that face? And she goes, well, I just don't understand that. You don't understand what any of it, any of what, why you would think I wouldn't be proud of you. Well, you don't say it. She goes, well, I don't need to.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Do I need to say that the person who put the wrong ice in the ice compartment is your twit of a gay?
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
So then Garcelle and Kyle have migrated to the bottom of the stairs and we just cut to their faces and it's a beautiful pose. They're just like, huh? So Reba's like, I think your prelude to this point is I was the way I was because I wanted to be a professional working woman and that got impressed on you and you've actually become me. Ha ha ha. A professional working woman.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
She goes, well, it took me time because I wanted to stay home with my children. And she goes, well, that's fine. And she goes, but you gave him grief for it. She goes, well, what does it matter? You did it anyway.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Yeah. So she was like, well, I don't think it's trite to tell your children you're proud of them. And I don't think it's trite to tell your children that you love them. She goes, well, I thought about that because it seems to be an issue not only with you, but with some of your friends. So I had to go back to the way I was raised.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Yeah. She's like, well, I was raised world war two post. And in those days, no one told me I was pretty when I was growing up and it didn't matter whether I was pretty or ugly. Cause I just kept going. Cause that's the way it was. I remember in those days, mothers put their baby in the crib and they just cried. Okay.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Well, there's just so much in this conversation that's like crazy. So the mom, it's not crazy. It's just, there's a lot of layers to it. So the mom saying, you know, I feel like you have kind of a disrespect for me because I was never there for you growing up. So you feel like I didn't love you because I wasn't some stay at home mom.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
But I was a, I was a woman who wanted a career and I went and got a fucking career and I'm not going to apologize to you for it. And Sutton's like, well, that's fine. But then you didn't respect my choice as a woman when I decided to stay home with my children. And she's like, but I did respect it. And she's like, no, you really didn't. You've never respected me ever since then.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
And that's the last time she saw him. And she saw his guilt that she should have known, or she should have sat with him for about, you know, at least five minutes to make sure he was okay.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
And you don't consider my career real because I, it wasn't my original career. I came up with it after I raised my children. So a lot of this is beyond even mothering, you know, it's just like a woman hood argument. It's so complicated. Which has been going on forever. I mean, there's just so many layers to it, and it's actually pretty fascinating.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I would love, like, even more episodes of this, just listening to these two kind of go at it and peeling back what it really is.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
She's like, well, I have my show, and I'm doing a fashion show for this capsule, and it's a very big deal for me, you know? And I know you don't like to travel, but it would be great. She goes, I don't mind traveling. Okay, well, you tell me that you don't want to. I mind traveling to places where that little man is, is what I said, specifically. But, you know, I might could come to California.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I think I could do that. She goes, but that would speak volumes to me, Mother. She goes, do I have to sleep in Phillip's room? Please just don't make me sleep in the weirdo's room.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Well, that's huge for her, because that is her saying. She's not going to break down and be like, oh, I do love you, honey, because it's just not her. And she's not going to break and do it for TV, which I kind of respect, actually, that she's like, I'm not going to give you that because you're blatantly bantering at this point.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I'm not giving it to you, but I will show it to you by coming to see your little fashion show. And that's a bigger deal, I think. So I think she communicated it in her way, which, you know, she's a stubborn she's a stubborn lady. But I think at least she's going to show if she does show up, then at least she's going to show it. So I was actually that's a big deal for her.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
It's like, I'm coming in for the hug, mama. You don't have to hug me back. She goes, oh God, do I have to stand up? She's like, no. And now I can make crab cakes. And girl, when she served those crab cakes, they were burned. I felt bad.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
So she's like, it all went really well. It was very calm. And she's going to come to the fashion show. And Garcelle's like, I'm so proud of you. And Kyle's like, that's so great. Good for you. So when do we get to meet your mom?
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
And she said, well, I just want to give a cheers. I'll leave here with a smile on my face. And I want to be a better daughter. And Reba says, a friend. She goes, and a friend. She goes, yeah, good, got it, nailed it.
Watch What Crappens
#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being with us. Thanks for being with us on Patreon on video. And we will talk to you next time. Head over to Patreon for video and traders recaps. And we'll talk to you soon. Bye, guys. Bye.
Watch What Crappens
#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Yeah, it was really, it's really so, that's a lot.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
So she's telling it and she's carrying around with it because, you know, she probably couldn't, it probably wouldn't have, maybe it would have been a different day. But, you know, it's sad the things you think like that you could have done something with something that heavy and something that deep that goes so beyond her, you know. And it's so sad to see a kid carrying that around into adulthood.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
It's terrible. So then she says, well, I can't believe my mom said when I offered to give a full report, she said, I don't want it. And Garcelle's like, well, it's probably painful for her, too, you know. And then we see some pictures of her and her mom. And she says that her mom has had a rough go since the dad's death and maybe even before.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
And she's like, but I want my next phase of my mother's life to be happy and peaceful and fine, not strained. I was like, okay, but part of your mom's fun is going to be hating on your store. So you're going to have to give her that.
Watch What Crappens
#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Reba's like, I'm having plenty of fun. Have you not read your Yelp reviews lately?
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Two stars. Ingrate sells a scarf from eBay. Congratu-fucking-lations.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I feel awful for Ted. Where are we going to have lunch?
Watch What Crappens
#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
So Erica's like, all right, well, guess what? Okay, waitress, all right. This one over here, the one with the bug eyes and the crazy accents, she's going to have the same old drink. Okay, a Belvedere soda with three lemons and no rind. See how you can just say no rind instead of carcass out? Come on, Dorit.
Watch What Crappens
#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.
Watch What Crappens
#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
No, I'm sorry. That's not the correct drink. Everything she says until the end. And then it's carcass out!
Watch What Crappens
#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
So have you guys seen each other since Kathy's? Which, by the way, I had a nice time. I would never have thought that, but I had a great time at Kathy's.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
And I got to change my place settings. So they order some pizza and stuff. And then Bose is like, I have to update you on so many things. And Erica and Teresa are like, ooh, do it. And they do this, like, leaning on each other like they're so excited to hear. And it's like, oh, you are ridiculous people. Well, here we go.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Keely and I have talked about having a baby, but we've actually never said the words, I love you. Girls, go ahead. Give me your reactions. I can take it. Look at both of you. All right.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I can feel that. I do hear that there's some sort of concept called empathy that I think I'm going to try to access right now for you. No, don't have it. I'll just have to trust what you're saying.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Well, I do love him, and there's moments I want to say it, and then I say, don't do it. Don't do it, Rose. And she's like, he has to say it first.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
No disrespect, but having a baby, but not telling the man I love you, I mean, what are we doing here? We are not patting the puss.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
She goes, well, I think it's as simple as saying, Keeley, do you think it's weird that we haven't said, gee, I love you to one another? Do you think it's weird that you haven't offered to share some Pringles with me in all of our time together, Keeley?
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Keeley, isn't it weird that every time I go to the store and say, could you please bring me back some green juice, you come back with bags of marshmallows. All right, Dorita, I think you sort of lost the course there.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Bose, how about you say, Keely, I've been waiting for you to say I love you, but you haven't said it. And it feels a little bit bully. Little jabs, little jabs, little jabs, little jabs bully. And she's like, I'm not saying any of this. Okay. She goes, no, well, I don't want him to be like, oh, but I love you too. And then I feel like I made him say it.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I'm like, who is, I mean, Erica's advice isn't terrible, but I can't imagine this with, I can't imagine this working out with anybody that Eric has been with either, you know? So, but I was like, well, I'm acting on the belief that he loves me. I know he's going to say the words one day we love each other. I know that he showed up to Ghana. I don't know.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I think it's fishy that he showed up to Ghana. I don't find that romantic. If you're like, I'm going on a trip with my daughter, and then he just shows up to Ghana, that's weird. And you haven't even told her I love you, or you haven't decided to introduce the guy to the kids yet. I don't know. It feels weird.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Dorit's like, here's what you do. Hold a can of Pringles up to your face. He'll say it immediately. That's how I got my ring. You know, my original ring was actually an aluminum cardboard can. It was very large. Very, very large. Eventually, we had to cut down and had a couple of zeponiums sucked in there. And it's worked out for almost a decade. Just short of a decade.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Oh, my God, it's almost been a decade. Picky!
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
I think from what she said, you know, being a certain age and trying to find a single man without a ton of baggage and stuff at that age, who also wants kids, it's just, he's all of the right things on paper. So you're just going to try and make it work. And I don't know. I don't know. I just, I don't know. I'm not feeling it. So then of course, Dorit jumps in.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
She's like, you guys, I spoke with Piquette. Can someone else have a scene? For Christ's sake, just let the woman have a scene, Dorit.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
How are we even in this conversation? What did he even say?
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
First of all, he called me, but he couldn't really speak. You know what I mean? So I said, Piquet, pretend I'm a bagel. And he said, I'd like nothing more than to toast you, butter you up and swallow you whole. I said, we're back in business, baby.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
And vice versa. Well, I mean, that's so normal, though, too, right? You can't see it when it's your own life. I mean, I can call out everybody on Bravo, but then I date the worst every single time. I'm like the worst at it. So, you know, I think it's easier to see when you're not in it, unfortunately. But yeah, stupid Dodo Dorit is like, oh, when I was talking to him,
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Like, oh yeah, because Kyle went back and told him that your ass is going to get serious and everybody told you to go after his ass because they know that that 10 years is coming up. And so now he's going to call you and try and sweet talk your ass so he can screw you over before the time limit. Come on, man. Exactly, yeah.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
This was me saying, there he is, the man that I used to love, who I still love, and I want to get back together with him. But it's not a reconciliation.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
And Buzz is like, this is about you, not about the kids. You're asking him to slow down because you want to catch your breath. It's not about the kids. She's like, well, you're absolutely right, but you need to understand. Catching my breath is about the kids, guys. I want to explain it so it's not confusing. Can you keep up? Baby boy, let me catch my breath. Make some noise.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Let me catch my breath. Make some noise. Let me, let me. All right, stop. Please, don't bring Beyonce into this.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
i'm trying to ask where you ended up not asking what your favorite beyonce song is so well the conversation was a hell of a lot better and different than i thought it would be i was like gee and both goes well it feels like a trick a trick
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
Yeah. Kyle's like, yeah, that's the only thing you can really do as a kid to have any power. Move the bed around.
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#2726 RHOBH S1411 Part Two: Reba McEnTerror
It was amazing. He's just not a tricky person at all. I said, PK, let's FaceTime. And I looked him straight in the eye and he said, oh, I'm getting something from your ear. And it was a quarter. I mean, who uses quarters anymore? That's a man to be in love with. Oh, geez, Dorit.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
He's like, yeah, well, I don't want to overcook them. She's like, well, you don't want dry grits. Turn it off. And he goes, well, that's what I asked, but okay. She goes, what are these forks for? And he's like, if someone wants to cut a slice of cake. And she's like, mm-hmm, okay. Where someone's going to take a piece out of your cakey. But the, yeah, I mean, look.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Yeah. So then Garcelle joins. And the good thing about grits is you can just always add more cream, y'all. So Garcelle joins them. And so he's like, so what am I making you? And she goes, well, what do you have? You live here. And he's like, well, would you like... She's just like torturing Avi, which is so funny. So then Garcelle's like, how are you? You look good.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
And she goes, you look wonderful. It's like, wow. That was the nicest thing Reba said.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
We've got a huge library over there, so go watch and watch all day and night. Ben, it's so good to see you and have you back home again.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
What, would you like a vodka lemonade? She goes, no. What else you got? He's like, I could do a Bloody Mary. She goes, definitely. I can definitely do that. So Garcelle asks how she sleeps. And she's like, well, I was just telling Avi I don't like that ice. How would you sleep being served the wrong ice? Jesus Christ.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
So she, I love that they ended the montage with Sutton being like, Plastic hangers? You know we don't like this. So they ended with a mommy dearest thing with Sutton and then cut back to her mommy dearest. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Garcelle's like, so you're still working as a therapist. Interesting. Tell me, do you use this move a lot? It's my favorite. It's a little scrunch of the eyebrows. I've played a therapist.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Do you ever use this when you're questioning someone?
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
What? So Garcelle asked her about being a therapist and Reba's like, I'm quitting in September. Well, how come? I'm 82. I'm 82, Jesus Christ. At least this one has the excuse of having dicks in his mouth. What's your excuse? Let's go sit on the porch.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
And I think that's how she probably is. Cause when she doesn't talk, she has that, she has kind of a sweet smile and she does look like she's listening to you. Her eyebrows are raised and she nods. I don't know if it's, I don't know if it's like medical, but she's like always nodding. And it's just like a Meredith.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
If it's medical, it's the Meredith Marks, let's just say where she's got kind of like a just regular head bobble. So she looks like she's listening to you and she's got like a nice serene smile on her face. So I think if she doesn't talk much, you can just kind of implant whatever you want.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
I think it would be good for me because I'd cry and then she'd go, okay, honey, get over it. Nobody likes a crier. Okay, that'll be $100. I'd be like, oh my God, that was amazing. It's the best therapy I ever got.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Like, what the fuck kind of thing is that to say? But the reason I'm laughing so hard is because of Garcelle's reaction. She goes, oh, what? And they just go sit down. She goes, well, this is so lovely. Thank you so much for indulging us. You know, I have such an affinity for your daughter, and I think she would give you the shirt off her back. She goes, well, she would do that.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
She's always been like that. Unfortunately, she has terrible taste. Get the shirt off her back. You're not going to be invited anywhere. I'm going to tell you that right now.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
So giving her the shirt off your back helps only her.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Yeah, it was dark episode, a lot of darkness here. And there's a lot of talk of suicide and stuff like that. So if that doesn't, if that triggers you, okay, then turn this off. Okay. If you didn't watch the episode and don't know what it is, there will be a lot of talk of that today. Not a lot of jokes about it, but a lot of talk probably about it because it happened.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Well, I don't think that's any of your business.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
And she just smiles a big smile at her. And she's like, now, I don't want to insult you. I think you have no clue, honey.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
It is, but Garcelle is Teflon, you know, which I love too. And she also kind of, I think, gets what Reba's saying because Reba's like, listen, honey, you think it's been terrifying living with me for all these years? What do you think it's been like living with Sutton all these years, you know? And I think that Garcelle can kind of get that.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
So you're giving me a message. Is that it? She goes, well, maybe I am. Maybe I am the messenger. There. Done. So what do you say to that, bitch? Yeah, good for her. And one way I get where Reba's saying, like, it's none of your fucking business. And it's not. But at the same time, like, I care about your kid. And you obviously have a shitty relationship. So I'm trying to help.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
You want me to back off? I'll back off. So I think Arcel handled it very well, you know.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
yeah and as someone who's lost her mother you know i'm sure there's a lot of stuff you regret that you wasn't communicated you know and it's like i think you just get to a point where you're like what are all these walls we build up with each other they're so stupid You know, they're so stupid.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
We just make all these invisible rules that we're not allowed to say this and we're not allowed to say that. We're not allowed to show this feeling. Fuck it. Who cares? Let me tell you, I read a lot of books. I watch a lot of TV show. Let me tell you how they all end. People die. They all fucking die.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
So whatever you have to say, say it, you know, because your story is the same way everybody else's does.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Okay, it happened on the show. So here we go. We are still in Augusta, Georgia. And the episode I like is just called Mind Your Business.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Catherine Dennis. Kathy. Very big difference. Good for you. Catherine Dennis was always a poet. My favorite poet, my favorite poem from Catherine Dennis was when she was like, crosswalk, crosswalk, fuck yourself. I ain't slowing down. Die, stupid crosswalk lady. It was kind of iambic pentameter. And I thought it was beautiful.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Tom is Tom is Tom is Tom. Tom is Tom. I was so sad that I didn't sink the landing. Just you counting on your fingers and not knowing what to do with that extra S was really funny.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
All right, so Sutton comes downstairs and she's setting up the table with Avi. She's like, why don't we transfer some flowers from the living room and put them on this table? And Kyle comes in. She's like, oh my God, everything looks so nice. Everyone here to eat. Yeah, it's going to be amazing. So everything's good, right? We're all a big happy family.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Like it's like everybody's tense, but Kyle, you know?
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Wow. I can promise you, your mother didn't care about a boutique when she was here, and she doesn't give a shit about it now. Death is final, okay? Just like sales probably have to be at your store, otherwise everything would be returned over. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're talking to me, Garcelle here. This is not Sutton. I'm sorry, dear. That was called projection. I'm a therapist.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Let me tell you what they got. It's very hard. I've been dealing with the drama of possibly dry grits all morning.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Yeah. Time for brunch guys. And Reba's like, well, we've been waiting since eight o'clock. Yeah.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
So they clink and she goes, you're welcome. That'll be a thousand dollars. And Garceau's like, hold on, wait for another trademarked. Ha!
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Every time Ben and I pass like a gas station store, we're like, oh my God, I can shop anywhere. Gas station stores, airport stores, airplanes.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
um like somewhere along the way reba got really hurt she shut down and that's what we're seeing it may just be a dry biscuit to us but it's the end of the world to reba so i know why sutton had a relationship with her dad and she didn't have that with her mom and i think there might be some jealousy there there might be some jealousy i think that's actually pretty good you know maybe the mom was like well you'd like him better anyway
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Okay, so now they start eating and Reba's like, well, great color. I love this color. And she goes, well, they gave those to me because I ordered a hundred napkins, mama. So I got some flowers. So then Junebug comes in and sees the flowers and starts barking at them, which was pretty funny. She's like, move the flowers. Junebug's an idiot.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
So then they sit down and, um, they start having some brunch stuff. And, um, Garcelle says, um, do you want me to serve here? Do you want me to move those? Just give it to me. I'll move them. She goes, would you? Okay. That wouldn't go mama. It looked pretty for a second, but we're not going to be able to see each other. She goes, good. I want all y'all to see my face.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Has anybody had any of these grits? And Garcelle's like, oh, these are good. It's like you lucked out this time. Cocoa puff. Avi talking to you.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
I was like, wow, why did I say cocoa puff? I guess I meant cream puff. I'm trying to think of my old Southern, you know, anti-gay thing to say.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Cream puff is the term. I prefer cocoa puffs. Okay.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
And Kyle does her weird voice like, um, I'm going to eat them next. Um, like, fuck you. Cause you know, grits are the most evil food that you can possibly eat. They're like, if you're trying to lose weight, those, those are the most, it's just cornmeal, but it's not just cornmeal. It's butter, cream, butter, cream, butter, cream, butter, cream.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
And then you just keep stirring more butter and cream until it tastes good. And she's not going to touch that shit.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
So Reba goes, she thinks you put sugar on them. And Garcelle's like, well, some people do eat them with sugar, but I just don't get it. She goes, only northern people.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
That Garcelle is also mortified by Northerners and their use of sugar.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
You can stick around. So they're talking about how pretty the house is. And so it's like, oh, I love all the houses in Augusta. They're all kind of different. You know, the house we lived in was built in, that was 1933, mama? She's like, 38. 38, that's what I meant. You know, and I was thinking, I might take them by and see it. And Reba just kind of nods. And she goes, it's just around the corner.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
She goes, it is just around the corner. Are you trying to trigger me? It ain't gonna work. I'm not gonna say anything snotty.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
She's like, well, Henry's back there, stupid. In fact, you'd go to the cemetery the way you were going. You'd run to China and back without seeing it. But don't ever go again this late. You'll die in this heat. When I used to do it, it was 530 or 630 in the morning. You lazy, simpering fool. She's like, geez.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
So set. Yeah. So Kyle's like, Oh, so we're going to go see a house. We're going to get to go inside. You know, I could sell it for you guys. Like I'm in real estate. So if you guys need that, and we was like, no, we're not going inside. Somebody lives there. And then Kyle pauses. She's like, Oh, I think we're going inside. So it's like, well, we might ring the doorbell. Oh, whores.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
No, you don't do that. You don't do that.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Yeah. So Reba's like, all right, well, what's next? We've been sitting here a long time. Anybody just want to pull a baseball bat and treat me like a pinata?
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Well, I'm going to go grab my purse upstairs. And Reba's like, where are you going, Sutton? She goes, we're going to go see the house, Mama. She goes, oh, God. So Sutton's like, well, you know, it's a lot I just said. Because, you know, we're still on Sutton's confessional. And the producer's saying, has your mom tried to deal with any of this? She goes, oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
And she goes, well, that's a lot I just said. We don't talk about this. It's like, well, you just gave an earful to America. So it's going to be interesting. I wish we could see the mom's reaction, maybe in the after show or something. But I don't know if the mom even watches any of this.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Also, I have to say, when Sutton was in her room, and I think that every child who grew up in the South might have thought this, but Sutton's like, where are my diamonds? And she's looking around her room, and I was like, oh, God. In five minutes, she's going to be blaming the maid. I just want to see this play out. I've seen it play out before, and I just want to see it play out again.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Yeah, I love that Erica tried to keep it calm for about a year.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
So then we go to Boze's and Boze has a scene with her daughter and she's like, I got us some snacks. And so she's like, oh, that's fancy. Don't act like I don't do this for you every day. Okay. All right, here, let's just spread the snacks all over the couch and lie down on the couch and eat them. We'll just make the assistant over there. Stand there with the Dustbuster.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
But it didn't. And I was actually really disappointed. I really thought I was going to get some justice. I thought I was going to get some cleaning lady justice on this, but I never got it. You know, and I'm very offended.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
And this is such a mom thing to do, too, where you lay out all these snacks and you go, okay, here's everything. And then you eat a bite of one thing. She's like, that's not how you eat it.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
It seems like they don't. I mean, they seem very close in one way, but in the other way, I think it's probably just being on TV. You know, she's not used to being on TV, but it does seem very job interviewee. She's like, All right, well, what's been going on? She's like, um, volleyball and my, can I eat, should I dip this in? No, you don't have to dip that one. Okay, ma'am, thank you.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Okay, your little friends. Why do you say it like that? What, your little friends? Yeah, do you want me to say your big friends? Ha ha! They'll kill you. I wouldn't say that to any of them, especially the one that won't touch the grits.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Well, the last time I imitated how you actually do talk, I was offered the role of Mama Rose in Gypsy. All right. Good point. Good point. Don't imitate me. So what are you talking about? She's like, well, I mean, I didn't know if you were dating, dating. She goes, well, we were dating, dating. I mean, at that point, a man is going to fly halfway across the world to see you.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
She's like, well, um, I would feel good about it. Oh, well, why are you okay with it? Tell mama. And she's like, well, I just, I'm trying to think of the right words. Use any words, just not the wrong ones. I'm watching you.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Dip it. Netflix. Dip it. Eat it. Eat it. All right. Use the right words.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
She's like, well, I'm going to be leaving and then you won't have a kid to raise anymore. Oh, kids. Kids are so cute. Just thinking, oh my God, what would my mother do if... They didn't have me around anymore. Let me tell you, Coke, Franzia, fucking tennis instructors. Get the fuck out of here. You ain't the center of the universe.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
She's like, maybe I'll get more air if there's another person you could be suffocating.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Still have little friends. The end. So back in Augusta, they are going to the house. So they're saying bye to Reba. And so it's like, wow, she can talk. And Kyle's like, I am obsessed with your mom. Love her.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
So Kyle's like, um, these people are expecting us, right? And Sutton says, yeah, my good friend who knows the current owners arranged it. So we're going to be good. We're going to be good guys. Now this was the hill. We would ride our bikes down this hill. It just seems so big at the time. So big. But now look at it. It's just not such a big hill.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
This is intense. It reminded me of that Married to Medicine where they went to Heavenly's childhood home. Oh my God, that was so rough. And she's like, this was my room. I didn't have any windows. And I mean, I was just so sad. She was like locked in her room. I mean, it was just so sad. Okay. So anyway, so I'm already sad because this story is sad. Plus the heavenly memories in there.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
So anyway, they go up and they meet the owner and they go in to start seeing it. And she's like, I'm setting Strack. Nice to meet you, Maureen. I'm just going to warn you. There might be some tears. And Maureen's like, It's OK. Just walk through the house. You know, take as much time as you can. Just you're wearing running mascara. Just stay away from the white couch.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Hello there. This is a two part recap. OK, this is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C, Dana Do.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
the bay area betches betches and our super premium sponsors she's vvip it's amanda v somebody get us 10 cc's of betsy md she's got a leg up it's beth annie we're taking the gold with brenda silva let's get real with caitlin o'neill don't get salty with christine pepper can't have a meal without the emily sides
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
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Watch What Crappens
#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Uh, well, what sign are you? Stop. And also yield. Also caution. Many, many signs, actually. No, I meant like astrologically. Oh, the Satan chart. Well, on that, I suppose I'm a cancer, but I'm not a typical cancer. I come with no warning. I spread for no reason.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
You're not a nurturer? So then Avi comes in. He's like, hi, Miss Reba. You'll be joining us for brunch. And she's like, brunch? I thought we were having breakfast.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
There's zero veil. There is zero veil on it. Yeah, he's not veiling it at all. He's like, I don't have to put up with your stupid homophobic ass. You're not my mother.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
which she's like who brought this homosexual into my household so then um yeah she drips with it too she's like he goes uh well i thought she says brunch i thought we were having breakfast and he goes well it's turned into brunch and she just looks at kyle and she's like i see that
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
I'm looking at my wrist and I'm looking up at you. And all I can see is it's cock gobbler o'clock. So the girl's down here. Mama's hungry.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on your bravs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hi, Ben. How are you? Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Well, I've got bad news. There's only two days left to stream the golden crappies. Get your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. But good news is we are on tour.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
And he's like, okay, I just thought you might want to fluff up a bit. Fluffing's illegal here. Try it and you'll be in prison, sir. She goes, I don't need to do that, but I'll see you in a few minutes. When you get to my age, you no longer groom yourself. You groom a dog with very long hair. Please excuse me. So she's like, seriously. That dog. When we see the mom's dog, I'm like, oh my God.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
You see everybody has a soft spot. And that dog also looks terrified. When she's like, I'll be back, cookie. Or whatever the dog's name is. The dog's just like, please don't. Please fall.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Well, yeah, basically. But Cheryl, the housekeeper, is also there. And Cheryl also wants this woman to die, which is so funny. So Garcelle's like, okay, I'll help you guys set up. And he's like, well, okay, let's do this. But, you know, we don't want to rush Sutton because we don't want to mess with the...
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
he starts doing like shaky hands and he's like, the chakras, we don't want to mess with the chakras. And she goes, Oh God, please not today. Right. So then meanwhile, Kyle and Cheryl's just like, don't make me talk to fucking Reba today. I'm telling you now, don't make me talk to that witch today. So then we go up to Kyle and Sutton and Kyle's like, hey Sutton, I was talking to your mom.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
She's so great. As someone with a mom who fed somebody nails on a date to get revenge, let me just say, I get it.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
And I agree. I definitely felt that after the first episode, this one, I didn't feel like she was nice to Kyle. I think she talked to Kyle, like you're a fucking moron, but I do think that she would be, you know, nicer to Kyle because of, you know, both racist reasons and also because Kyle And because she knows that Kyle and Sutton hate each other deep down. She knows that Kyle's mean to Sutton.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
So I think part of her is just like, oh, this girl's on my team. Well, she also knows an advocate for Sutton, so she's going to shut her down immediately, you know?
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
We have an insane March coming up for the mounting hysteria tour. We will be in your city very soon. Everybody get ready to come. Okay. You ready to hear the cities for March? It's going to be crazy. Hope you're holding on to something. Okay. Um, we are going to, uh, Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, and Washington, DC, followed by Philadelphia all in March.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
But also, Reba's one of those people who, as, you know, I've read the same comments as you have on the internet, and I'm not going to argue with them because we know the history of the South. And we, especially when Reba goes into her like, well, back in World War II, it's like, okay. So that's like from a different time. So I'm not even going to argue with any of that.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
One thing I will say about Reba is that she is a hater, period. She hates all of these people. I don't think there's one person on this show that she likes.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
she even hates her own grandkids she's like that fucking weirdo do i have to sleep in his room so this is fair this is a fair point she is she's an equal opportunity hater yeah she just hates everybody so in that way she's fair you know i don't know if she's fair and equitable in any other way but in the hatred department she she hates them all
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Well, it's also a moment of just someone not from the South being there because people who aren't from the South don't have the same rules of not speaking, you know, like, so how do you feel? What's your sign? What do you like? What do you like? And you don't like, you know, people, you're not used to talking about feelings like that. So Sutton's like, wow, how'd you get this out of my mother?
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
I asked her how gauche. So Sutton tells us that she was in her twenties when she got the call that she needs to come home. And it was surprising because she didn't understand how her father who was their rock could be starting to break. And I guess that she's talking about his mental illness and depression and stuff. And she talks about how they put him in the hospital twice.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
And Kyle goes, really? I didn't know that. Because you don't fucking listen, Kyle. I did not know that.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
So go get your tickets and other cities at watch what crappens.com. Also we're doing traders recaps over on our Patreon. Patreon is also where you get videos like this one that we're on today. If you want them right when they're released, uh, be a Patreon member. If you want them a week later. Get them for free over on YouTube. What do I care? Okay?
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
Yeah, it's a scary way to go forward. And it's a way that a lot of people take now, which is also terrifying, you know. So she's basically talking about the self-medication and stuff. And he went through this for six full years before he passed away. And she says he shot himself in December 20th and December 22. Sorry, it was when he killed himself.
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
And it's interesting because it's almost like she's making the choice of how she words it. Because, you know, we word it differently now. We say, like, he passed. Died by. Died by suicide. Yeah, you know, stuff like that. She's like, he killed himself, you know. So there's a lot there with her. And Kyle goes, well, you're lucky to have your mom. And she's like...
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#2725 RHOBH S1411 Part One: Reba McEnTerror
I don't think I've ever heard her sound more like Clint Eastwood.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And she said, well, where are we in the process of marriage anyway? And he's like, I knew you were going to ask that. I felt that question. That question came right out of our thoughts and into my head. It's me and you. So that's where we are. Okay, I don't trust him. There, I said it. I don't trust him. He's too smooth talking. And that came out of your head and into my brain. I don't trust it.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Yeah, it is a little Svengali-ish, huh? So it's also kind of LA though, but he's from San Diego. So I don't know. Cause that's our other thing is that they're long distance. Cause he's from San Diego and she's from LA. So I don't know. That sounds great to me. Like every other weekend, kind of a guy sounds, sounds like heaven to me, but I don't know. Yeah.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So, you know, that's that's probably I'm not going to go as far as scum like I'm not getting scum, but I'm getting very, you know, no one talks like that in their everyday life. So you have to like with people who talk like that, you have to like tire them out like a little like a little kid with a lot of energy running around the room screaming.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
You're not going to get anything done until you tire them out. You know what I mean? And I feel like you have to tire out that kind of talking until you see the real person underneath. So you've just got to be like, what are your thoughts on the economy? And just let him be like, well, as long as I've got you, a dollar is still a dollar. Ding! Until he's just exhausted.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
You know, just, like, give him reasons to spout platitudes from pop psychology until he's tired, and then we'll see what he's really like. Yeah, we need him to unmask. So, PVD.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So she's like, thank God for Erica and thank God for my parents because I felt like I didn't know how much longer I could hold on the walls up on my own and they came to my rescue. And then we see a clip of her parents coming to town to take care of Steph. And she's like, listen, Erica, today was the day. a Phoenix's ballet show. She was the lead, the lead. So I threw a pie in her face.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So what happens to leads in these shows? As you know, it's my stint in Peter Pan in London.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Leave the carcass in. And make the caucus PK. I'm sorry, was that too tall? And the server is like, hey, good choice. Fuck off. I don't need your approval. Get my three lemons. Now, does she mean three whole lemons? I've never asked you this because that's a lot of lemons.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Yeah, I put a whole lemon in my tahini dressing last week and it was disgusting. It was way too much lemon. So I'm like, she must mean wedges. But then wedges are all different sizes depending on where you go. So make the math make sense.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
HERS is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Start your initial free online visit today at 4HERS.com slash crappins.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
No better way to do that than a nice new piece of beautiful furniture.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
If you're looking to get away with all the fabulous luxe experience of the Housewives, but none of the drama, check out Virgin Voyages.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I just did my place all mid-century modern, and I got the most beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
There's something for every style and home, no matter your space or budget.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I love Erica. I love Erica sitting here trying to be positive, but if you really listen to everything out of her mouth, it's not really positive. She's like, oh, I can cop, compartmentalize.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Well, Monday, we're supposed to meet in therapy. And it's the first therapy we'll have together.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
That's it. Can I take your lunch orders? Fuck off. How dare you?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
One time the fight got so bad that I just kept saying bathroom in different languages.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
That's how you say it in Paris.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So we see Piquet and her having dinner. This is when he said, if a server came over and we spoke to the server how we speak to each other, we'd be thrown out of this restaurant and I'd be grabbing this side of chips with me. They couldn't let me lose grasp of it no matter how hard they tried. I wish you'd try that hard for our marriage, Piquet. Our marriage has never been this delicious.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
These are exclusively built kid-free cruises, so no matter what you're looking for, you can get the type of experience you need most, all catered to adult tastes.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Could you please pass the hollandaise?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
All in. He's so into being an alcoholic, he went to an AA meeting. He took all the chips from the other people and ate them with some cream cheese. Awful day.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
The worm from the bottom of the tequila bottle tried to drink him.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So listen, if you really need to get him out of there, just put a little pill or something in his next orange juice. He'll be not sober and you can treat him however you want to.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I called you a stupid cut fitness, not a fucking cut fitness.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Well, it's better than having to mistake your money for strength or whatever else they've been doing this past 20 years. And Doreen's like, well, that's it. What Sutton said.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And then we see a flashback to Sutton saying, listen, you are angry and you are not angry at me. You are angry at your life.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Book now at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I don't disagree with Erica here. I think that Sutton is horrible to people at the worst times in their lives. But guess who else was the worst to you at the lowest time in your life? Literally everybody on the show put you on the stand and questioned you nonstop and suggested you give back that ring or everything else that you're mad at Sutton about. Everybody else did too.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Why are you only mad at Sutton? Mommy itches.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And also since when can you only be nice to people or who, since when can you only criticize people who are happy? I don't think that's how it works. There was a comment that was like, Ronnie, you're projecting your mommy issues onto Erica. She doesn't have mommy issues. No, no. I'm very well aware of my mommy issues. My mommy issues are in a completely separate theater. Okay.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
My having mommy issues doesn't mean that other people don't have mommy issues. Okay. You can still go to the other theater and watch mine if you want. They're out there, they're playing. They've been playing on here for fucking 13 years. Go on, watch them if you want to. I still stand by it. So then Garcelle drives her kid.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
We're watching kickboxing. We're watching emotional kickboxing, okay? But that's why Erica's standing up for these rules. Like, you can't kick someone when they're accused of stealing diamond earrings.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I give Erica a lot of shit on this show, but I have to say I would love to have a pizza party for Erica. We can do it. We do it. We'll have a totally do it.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
i would do it so um because she's just brought me so much pleasure you know there's times like these where you're watching things burn and people struggle and stuff you have to remember like these people do a lot of good in our lives you know what i mean like it's fun to rag on them and call them out when they're wrong but you know sometimes i'm even grateful for erica
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
so i'm gonna say finally we're getting a glamorous tour of this beautiful home um like they've never done it before it's the third episode you guys we've done this and it's still gorgeous and it's still glamorous oliver's like i remember when this was just dirt i'm like yeah it was like 18 months ago congratulations That is a beautiful house. And I love the cabinet colors. I just love that house.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
It's really, really well done. And they've taken that farmhouse thing, which, you know, I'm over that shit, even though I live in it. But I hate that shit now. But she did it in such a nice, tasteful, updated way. Love the house. But still, we've already seen it. So move on. So let's talk about she's like, guys, can you believe I got a beach house? I worked for this.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And they're like, oh, my God, that's amazing, which it is. But like, talk about something else now.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Because they're made out of macaroni and cheese.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
But then that kind of is ruined when she's like, you know, he was going through a rough time, but then he's okay. Then he became okay and named his child OJ. I was like, I'm not going to be okay with that. There's no time that I'm going to be okay with that name choice. Like even if like back in the day it was fine, it's not. Just change it. Oliver. Oliver.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Oliver too. Yeah. Oliver James, you know? Yeah. So it's actually a really nice scene. I'm just being a bitch because that's what I do, but it's a nice scene. And then they pray and then we go over to Dorit's house and we see pictures of Dorit and Piquet when they were in love. When Dorit did some boudoir shots and dressed like a package of sour cream and onion leaves.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Well, hello, Benunes. What's going on, baby? The whole city's on fire. You doing okay over there?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
yeah that sounds like a perfect friendship to me you know you got to find your lid you know that's my lid just listen actually my lid in real life is for them to talk more i think i'm more like bows in real life maybe that's why you talk here on here if you're listening a lot on here but then in real life i'm like entertain me please so that's why i'm friends with super dramatic people who always have some kind of drama going on you know it's like turning on a tv
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Yeah. God, this gay passive aggression is the most fabulous passive aggression. It's the best brand. I'm proud to be an owner of it. Yes. So, yeah, Bose comes and the dogs are barking and she's like, weenie, pumpkin.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I love the names of the dogs. Winnie, the sad dog, and Pumpkin, who's going to get eaten one day, you know? So she gets to meet the parents, Rachel and Shalom. And she's like, what a pleasure. What a pleasure to meet you. What did you do today? Details, details. Rice cups for breakfast, anything? Anybody? Give me an answer. I hope we've had a nice day. All right, you're dead to me. Get out.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I need more details from those people. They're tired.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I made a toot by the chicken stand. All right. You're officially my mother now. I'm picking your parents. Details one.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And he came in very much like Kuman in Tibiddle. So, so much so, in therapy, he throws out, This is why I want a divorce, and I don't want to be married to this woman.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
It was hard to see because the maps for some reason, when I was driving, it was showing me pointed in the opposite direction. Does anybody know how to fix that?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So this is the first time she's heard it, which I have a hard time believing seeing them. We just saw a flashback of them back at lunch. But she said that PK stormed out of the office, slammed the door, and she walked out of that therapy session and she thought, oh no, I need to start preparing. So now she's like, Now I need to plan, like, I'm going to battle against this fucker.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Which I was like, yes, Dorit, thank God. It's so good to hear that, you know? Because I think oftentimes it's like, you have to cry first. You have to like get that whole like six months of crying out of the way. And then you're ready to go to battle. And Dorit's like, no, fuck this.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Well, in this, I don't think it's money. I don't think there's money there. I think the only money coming in probably like he'll he get to pit. I mean, how much is George Boy George making right now? You know, so that's 15 percent. And then Dorit's got Beverly Hills, which she's been on for a long time. So I'm sure that's a good paycheck. So she's the one with the money. So, yeah, he's.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Yeah, that's right now. It's like, yeah.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Agreed. So she's like, wow, what a story. So you know what we should talk about? You and Kyle, I was very shocked with the interaction you had with Camille. And she's like, oh, well, that's been a long time coming, me love.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And I like that she's like, what are you even doing here? Come here. You have your friends on hold. Do you need a moment, Camille? Which is good seeing her hand Camille her ass. We'll see you next season, Camille. I know. You just keep getting tries, girl. You just keep coming back. So Boza's like, well, I'm not sure why Kyle invited Camille to the party. Why was she there?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And he's like, not the first time, me love. Not the first... which is so true and it's so good to see bows be able to clock that in two seconds something that the audit that uh most of the audience and definitely this cast has not been able to clock in how many years is this 12 14 years is how Kyle's sneaky ass does stuff like this. Like, I hate Camille.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Don't ever speak to Camille unless I need Camille to yell at somebody that I don't like right now.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Elevating my style used to mean breaking the bank, but with Quince, I get high-end, versatile pieces at prices I can actually afford. Now I can upgrade my style by snagging luxury essentials that sync with my vibe and my wallet.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And so Bose says, it really hurt my feelings when she said to you that I don't remember what. I'm paraphrasing.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
It's like, yes, yes, that. And so Bose is like, these women just always find a minute to go at each other. They will always find an excuse. They're at a party. They'll find a reason to fight. It's almost like looking at something in the air. If they see it, they'll grab it out of the air. And they'll say, fuck.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I feel like if Sutton was doing that, that would be terrible. But I don't think Sutton took something that Dorit said and stabbed her in the back with it. Do you? Saying you're angry with your life isn't really. It's just like, what are you yelling at me at? You're not yelling at me. You're projecting.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Well, and also Sutton's so bad at it, you know, like she's so bad. She really doesn't. And they call her out for this all this episode, but Sutton's like sisterhood thing is such a bullshit. Cause she's the one who's always having a fit and losing her temper and crying and running out of things. So, I mean, I do see that Sutton's a huge hypocrite.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I mean, I do say, I will say that, but I just think in this case, I don't think what Sutton said is that bad, but maybe it's because there are so many worse times that we can compare this to with shit that's come out of Sutton's mouth that I'm like, that's nothing. What are you complaining about? Yeah.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
At least it wasn't like a, you know, at least it wasn't like when you were robbed and she was like, whatever, we all have problems. Yeah.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
My fashion designer got stuck in France.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
They can never look like me, she says. They're all so jealous. They fight, they claw like animals, they eat out your heart like cannibals. At one point I had my valuables. They can never look like me. It's like, wow. Cannibals and robbery. Wow. A lot going on in one song. Did Trixie sober up? Because Trixie used to be two words and now Trixie's coming in with fucking monologues put to music. Yeah.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And we see his style and it is good. I mean, it is good. It is really good. And there's been some questionable times of Martin over the years where I'm like, Are you here, Martin? Are you even here? But God, the stuff we're seeing in these pictures.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I just love that she talks about this house like it's such a shit hole, but she's like, but my place in Pasadena, now that was chic. That was not chic. That looked like the inside of Liberace's asshole.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
This is our first step. This is our first step to healing the world, you guys. So he puts some flowers on the table and he's like, oh, no, he just walks up to a vase that's got flowers on a table and he goes, this, we can't have stuff like this. You need beautiful things. What? It's a perfectly beautiful, fresh flower eraser. He's like, ew, disgusting. You're Erika Jayne. This isn't right.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Texas freezing over states. I got both the states going through the drums. What the hell, man?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So she goes into the bedroom, which I think looks lovely. Yeah, it looks nice. And he's like, ooh, are we trying to catch a man?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So it's like, well, yes, I've seen some of those sexy videos of yours. And then we see one of her...
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Was he saying that? He was, right? He was like, oh, I think he was complaining about the curtain, but the way that they did it, because he yanks open the curtain and then he's like, oh, let's get rid of that. I can't see that anymore. But they showed the pool and the yard and it's just like, get rid of it, please. I can't see it. Scrim. I need to scrim here.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And, you know, she just wants to make sure because his plans are starting to sound expensive, you know?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I've got enough of that around me. Jesus Christ, that's the last thing I'm going to do is get biblical on this shit.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
yeah there you go so um sutton's house um she's getting her hair and this the way that our note taker uh nadine wrote this sutton house which makes me laugh because it just sounds like a place you go to you know the sutton house well my apartment yeah it's a very exclusive club you come in i sit you down then i say you wouldn't be mad if you weren't divorced stupid
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Fucking glam. I'm so sure. You're the only person in town even pretending to be shocked that Sutton hasn't been to the Viper Room.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
and one of them's like oh my god you could have had an island you know and some other stuff we won't mention here you could have been part of some really cringe-worthy videos um awkward awkward time to be bragging about making out with johnny depp but you know what we all make choices i'm just so proud of erica for being honored by the trash bag company it's like finally she's like starting to understand
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Tonight I'm not performing. And all the glam was like, oh, thank God. I was like, Jesus. God. I might not even be there, but my head can still hurt from 10 miles away. Yes.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
You're at a famous rock venue. He's like, obviously, we're not performing here much. Okay. Okay. But it is going to be a celebration for Pride, for Domino's, for everyone who loves pizza on Pride.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I'm telling you, Erica's coming from my heart this season. She's working for the trash bag company, and now she's going to stump for Domino's, my favorite fucking place. The worst pizza in the world that I will eat. as much as fucking possible. God, I love that place. I love that terrible, terrible place. Is there ever truly a bad pizza?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Well, yeah, it's really scary. I hope everybody's taking care of themselves over there. We're sending you our love and our friends, you know, love, you know, because it's you see you see stuff like this pretty much all the time in the news. It seems like just tragedy after tragedy.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Sort of like PK tried to do, but he kept falling down over and over again. Severe alcoholic, 100% on the nose.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Oh. Well, you know, I had a nice afternoon with Bose. She came over, she had some good insight, and it definitely got me thinking. Kyle and PK, are they speaking? Because once upon a time, they definitely ticsis. And I don't know if there's anything that I don't know. Do you know if there's anything that I don't know?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Is there something that I don't know that you know that I don't know that you know? If you know something that I don't know that's known to other people but I don't know it, you better know it! Say it now!
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Yeah, Sutton is still deciding to be on Team Kyle because Kyle's an alpha to Sutton. And Sutton will always bow to Kyle no matter what. Even when she's like, I'm staying up against Kyle.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
about his life. But isn't the problem that PK doesn't want to know any details about your life? I mean, the guy leaves for like years at a time and it's kind of sad because she's like, I'm sure he's just asking about me. And then when it comes to it, it's like, he sends me memes.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
But, you know, when it's in your city, it's like, God damn, it's like up close, you know, but it's going on all over the world constantly now. And it's kind of like a just fuck time in general. Well, anyway, welcome 2025. So we're going to do what we do best in both here and our personal lives, which is just laugh at things because that's how I cope. Okay. Yeah.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So Dorit's like, well, you know, PK and Kyle have always had a relationship and they've always spoken and sent memes to one another. So if they are having conversations and PK and I are not even talking, any information would be helpful towards me. And she's like, well, that's the perfect night for you to ask then.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So now arrivals at Sutton's home. So Jennifer Tilly comes in.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
oh yeah like those rumors were just everybody making stuff up and not you completely leading us to believe that you were boning morgan give me a break um but also do you love how she words it like yeah she was following me so oh you weren't following her i know that's an interesting
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So Kyle, the lady who meets everybody on Instagram, you weren't following Kesha and then started stalking her to be your friend. Okay. Yeah, sure.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And we get a flashback to that. And then Jennifer is like, well, I definitely think that you're getting a prickly energy from Bozy. I'm not going to lie about that. She's like, well, it's Dorit saying things to bows to make bows not like me. Well, here's what I'm going to do to smooth things over. I'm going into this party and I'm going to unleash so many microaggressions.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
You're not going to believe it. I'm just going to muddy the waters.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
A bunch of older ladies in sparkly dresses. It's like, what are we doing? A version of Follies tonight? Like, what's going on tonight?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Yeah. So we're here doing that.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
please come um we are also doing the golden crappies soon february 1st in new york city on broadway come hell or high water literally yeah you know it's not even a figure of speech at this point we will be there we will do it we have done this when there have been cars floating down the street from other severe weather in los angeles remember that one so we're no stranger one time we were in new york there was that fucking
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I'm sure Kyle made it to the front door of the Viper room many times. Don't sell yourself short. So then they're, you know, just making small talk and stuff. Then Sutton comes in and they make small talk with her. And then Boza's wearing some crazy bracelet. What were you going to say?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
One of my favorite things to drink in this town is Peter's boo.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Well, she's probably texting him. Cynthia's like, wait a minute. That's true. Have you been texting Peter? It's just memes. Just memes. A lot of coffee memes.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Look at how fun I am. Look at what a fun girl's girl I am bringing up weaponizing. And she's like, I am weaponizing. Yes. Well, don't weaponize against me. I'm going to weaponize against everybody. And she's just not kind of not backing down from Sutton, but also like not letting her get away with her joke, which I kind of liked. Yeah.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And she's like, the bracelet is the least of weapons I got in my arsenal. You ever heard of Bezos?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So now Dorit comes and the events coordinator asked her for photos. So they do that. And then she's like, who's booze talking to? And Carl's like, that's Sutton. She goes, ooh.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And she's like, well, I think in the moment maybe you were angry. And she's like, I wasn't angry. I was defensive. Okay. Great. And she's like, well, I think that if Bose put half the energy into her friendship with me as she did with Dorit, then she would know that this is Dorit's fault. I mean, I just don't get it. And so she's like, now, listen, Bose, you can just speak so eloquently.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And I was like, oh, geez, son. Can you just make it one episode? Seriously. Yeah. With a black cast member.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So she's like, yeah, this chick seems peaceful, but there's another side to her. And I don't know if she's Delulu or she's mean and calculating. Will the real Slim Sutton stand up? Yeah. Burn it. Print it.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
stud blizzard or whatever they call that cyclone or something the bomb cyclone that was like shutting down the city and it shut down our jersey show we still did it we will be there damn it so will you get over there we're at town hall um on february 1st we also start our tour in like two weeks, I think, at San Francisco and San Diego. So that's right before the crappies.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So then Erica comes and, you know, she does some photos and all of that. And she comes by to check on the ladies in her hostess mode, swinging around that ponytail.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Those are gonna be great shows. So come to those. And then right after the crappies, we have Salt Lake City and Denver. So get your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. If you like video, we are on video every day now at Patreon. That's also where you get our bonuses. This week, we are going to start traders bonuses over on El Patrion. So join us for that. And what's the other thing we have to say?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Or as PK used to say, there is light at the end of this funnel. And he would hold up his funnel cake, bend backwards and swallow it whole.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And I was wondering and curious if you're speaking to him or if you have spoken to him. And Kyle's like, um, um, um, how do I answer this? Kyle's the worst liar in the world. The worst liar. Well, my friendship with PK is like memes and jokes. And, you know, he doesn't share anything about your relationship or anything that's going on. Like, we don't talk like that.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
It's literally just memes and jokes and things like that. You know, that's it. Memes. Pepe the Frog. Hilarious stuff.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And she knows she's caught, but she's just so bad at that. And she's like looking all over the room too, you know? And so then Dorit's like, it's not even that Coyle has been communicating with B'Kid since our separation. It's that you're texting my husband when you and I aren't talking and when we're not good, it's just not okay. And she's saying, you know, it's different now.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And it's something I would expect that you would share it with me. And Kyle's like, well, if it ever got to the point where you guys weren't getting along, like, I mean, even if we were in a bad situation, like, obviously I'm a girl's girl. I mean, look at all the girls I've been so kind to on this show. Denise, Lisa, Kim, you know, line them up.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Yeah, I mean, Kyle's smart move here would be to say, you know, I've always been really close with PK. And so I wasn't really sure what to do in this situation. And if you're uncomfortable with me, like...
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
you know what you know texting him i totally understand that and i'll stop doing that immediately but to be like um like whatever like duh like who cares been if and they're right because everybody's like yeah if dorit was texting mauricio kyle would lose her shit totally
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Oh, voting is now open for the crappies. So go do prelim voting. Get your nominations in. You can find that at our website or at Instagram. Watch what crappens on Instagram. So let's get into a little Beverly Hills action. What do you think there, man?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And so she's like, well, PK and I aren't good and he's making my life difficult. And Garstel goes, how?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Well, don't get mad at me. I'm just saying you don't, you don't shield your children. You use your children as shields. Okay. I mean, look at my daughter. You, you think there's a, there's not a reason she looks terrified every time you see her. Okay. It's because she's a shield. Okay. So what children are made for now, put them in front of you and take those bullets.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And so Sutton's, of course, defensive immediately, even though she was just the one who kind of threw a barb. Yeah. And she's like, don't get mad at me. And Dorit's like, pretty strong statement. Pretty strong. So she's like, well, I'm just saying. And we had this conversation on the boat. She goes, oh, the same conversation where you said lean on me when you're not strong.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And she's like, well, yeah, yeah, that one. And so we see a flashback to that. And Sutton's like, I'm just telling you, I meant what I said. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. She goes, oh, so judging by your, she goes, oh, you know what? It's up to you. What have I done to you ever? What have I done to you? Sutton just loses her shit for no reason.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Sutton, if you don't want someone getting mad at you, stop making shitty comments where they're trying to have a conversation. Why are you trying to stand up for Kyle anyway? Back off, Sutton.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
It's been kicking me while I'm down. It's like, oh, just forget it. Just forget it.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
We aren't friends and forget it. You know what? I'll be cordial. I'll be cordial with you Dorit. Okay. And she goes, there you go then. And Kyle goes, um, why don't we start the cordial part right now? Oh my God. It's this little girl standing in front of a burning building, but she's smiling. I'm sorry. What were we saying?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So Kyle's like, I just want to say, like, obviously, regardless of our situation, and I do feel like we've made a lot of progress, you know, in the whole, you know, still not calling you thing, which I'm still not. But like in the past year, like if it bothered you that PK and I sent memes, like I would have never done it.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And Boze is like, well, when I heard it, I definitely was like, oh shit, that's a breaking of girl code.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And Garcelle's like, well, would you have a problem? And Jennifer's like, I would. So, yeah, of course she would. Everyone would. And so Sutton's like, well, if I found my friend communicating with my ex, I'm calling that friend and I'm saying, what are you doing? Because that is not okay. Ding. Oh, my God. This is Taylor Armstrong screaming and crying and fighting with a cat. This is crazy.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I'm sorry, you guys. What were we talking about?
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
She's marveling at herself. It's another Garcelle. When I started this, it was only me. I've got a beach house. It was a very, very Garcelle proud episode, but she should be. She has a lot of stuff to be proud of. And she's sitting there with her gorgeous child looking at his modeling pictures. And she's like, look at you, a model. And he's like, yeah.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Yeah. Yeah, that's Kyle. Kyle's a dick. And I'm really going to be honest. PK's been a better friend than me lately. He's been a better friend to me than Dorit has lately. You know what? And just insert a picture of Eddie Murphy tapping his temple lightly. There, I said it.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Yeah, and she's like, well, I wouldn't feel comfortable sending a Mo a text to not you. She's like, I'm done, I'm done, I am, I'm done, I'm done, I am done, I am, I am, I am done.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Absolutely not, Kyle. Yeah. And so Dorit's like, well, you need to be very clear, Kyle. I need clarity. And Kyle's like, okay. And she's like waving her finger around, mocking Dorit and like losing her temper and her veins are popping out. You know, she's doing the Kyle. And she goes, what does that mean? I'm done. She goes, I'm done with you. I'm done with you. I've tried to fix you.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I've tried to fix this with you. And I've tried. And, okay, you know what? You're so fucking bitter, Dorit. And she's like, bitter? I'm asking you not to speak while your veins are popping out of your forehead. Please.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And she goes at her. She starts screaming at her over the table. They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, like pulling her apart. It's like, you didn't get to scream. Fuck you. And Kyle's like, oh, just shut up, Dorit. Just shut up. Oh, my God. Look at this one. It's a cat hanging from a tree that says, hang in there. Take that, bitch.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here. Go grab tickets for our first shows in San Francisco and San Diego and Denver and Salt Lake City. And also the Golden Crappies, which are coming up February 1st. Go grab tickets over at watchwhatcrappens.com. Come to Patreon for Traders Recaps and all of that good stuff. Oh, and go vote on Instagram for the prelim crappies round.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
We love you guys. We'll talk to you next time.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay B. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
That's like a young person going into the tire changing and oil change business and being like, I don't know who pet boy is. How dare you? Yeah. Make an effort. Okay. Learn things. Learn from your history. Model history is very important. I mean, to some people, just like every other kind of history, damn it. Learn your history, sir. Please do. And then we go to Dorit's house where Dorit.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
But notice that she didn't say Uber. I'm just pointing that out because in our next recap of New York, that's going to come up.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Have you ever seen your father trying on bathing suits? Now that's a real bathworthy event. Geez. Well, Phoenix is, her pirouettes are great. I mean, she's just spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning, and it's really great. She's like, you're like a little Baryshnikov. Help! Get the fuck out of here, Phoenix. All right? You have me for two seconds.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
By the way, you also are like a character from a scary movie. And that's, y'all, let's just get along. We're sisters.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I was like, whoa, Sutton, reel it in, lady. So then we go to the Malibu Pier and it's a Bose scene. We don't get many of those. So this is a Bose scene and she's on a date. And I'm extremely stressed out by this date because she's on a date with a guy who's also like very successful and driven.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
And they talk like very successful driven people and they're very goal oriented and they're like, what's our goals. That's terrifying. My goal is to get through the fucking day. Okay. My goal is not to die of blood, high blood pressure or eat a tub of ice cream out of some misery. I haven't gotten over from kindergarten. Okay, that's what I'm dealing with, sir.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Can we not talk about our trusts and our goals? My goal is just to live.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
yeah she's very uh i started feeling offended which i don't know why i think that says something about my own masculinity insecurity but when she's like he's a he's a man a madman you know what i mean a man a man i guess i don't think anyone's ever said that i don't think anyone's ever been like wow i went on a date with ronnie what a man yeah you know a man now people have been like i've been on a date with ronnie
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
He's really terrified of dying of blood pressure diseases by the end of the day. It's super weird. Yeah, yeah. But he paid for dinner.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
Shut up. I want a business endeavor. And she's like, mm-hmm. And he's like, that's one thing I really love about our dynamic. It goes beyond the looks, you know? It goes into jalapeno peppers as well. And she's like, oh, you know, but the looks are looking, you know? Looks are important. What do you think about that? Looks may not be everything, but looks are here, baby. Looks are here.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
uh so she tells us that her relationship should have kept her from every other relationship and then we see her clip of telling the girls about her relationship that it was oh i guess she was just telling erica but she was like well in my last relationship i was completely lied to i said are you cheating on me and he said yes liar they're like how dare he tell you i was like well he was honest i mean i guess the cheating wasn't
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2680 RHOBH S1406: The Ends Don’t Justify The Memes
So we find out that she really likes his consistency, but the biggest detail that we find out is that she likes details, you know? Because he'll be like, I'm at the gym. And she's like, ah, he's doing some reps. That's what I love to hear. Reps, give me all the information. And that's what she likes. She just likes taking in data.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So, if Sutton gave you a Kelly, would that change things? And she goes, absolutely. Give me a purse and it will be over and done within a second. She'd be my best friend. I'd be calling her. Is she going to give me a Kelly or are you just...
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
because he's got this big long hair and he's like yes that's me kent i can't condition condition kent okay you need to condition condition so they're they're oohing and awing over him and uh obvi's like getting all the clothes out and suddenly like don't go so fast don't go so fast he's like everyone's trying to micromanage me right now it's a fashion show
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Oh my God, this is the fashion show for Sutton's line. Can we all calm down? You've got a few like pleather placemats that you're using as skirts and like some old like golf boy, golf ball boy clothes. Come on, calm down.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Yeah, so they're, you know, getting set up and she's like, I think we need practice with the models. Like, oh God. So Avi and Sutton just sit there and the models have to walk around this pool. That's kind of their runway or whatever. And so Avi is just way too in it.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
And then we see the long montage that is now reframed as Erica has been the biggest victim. in the world. And we come back and it's like, it's just easy.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So she's doing her walk.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So it sounds like, well, a few of you forgot to stop here at this part and then keep going. But okay, you're going to do great. You're going to do great. You're going to do great. Uh, so then we get the party, everyone's getting glammed up to go to the party and Garcelle's so nervous because Jade's walking for the first time. Oh, to be the parent of a model.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
It's like my child at 16 years old walking for the first time. You just, it's like you get so much more in, in looks, but you just expect so much less, you know, as the parent of a model.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So then we go to Bo's and she's like, well, I don't want to look better than the bride at the wedding, but it's going to happen. Do me up, boys.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Yeah, and that's not close either to where she is.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
And then we find out my mother spent the whole day at the airport, 13 hours trying to get here to tell me she's proud of me. And she never got back. But the fact that she stayed in airport for, you know, she didn't even stay in labor for 13 hours. You know, I didn't come out. She finally just had him.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
just give her some drugs until she fell asleep and then had him take a basketball and push down on her stomach until I popped out. You know, my head, I had to wear a helmet. I had to wear a helmet for a while. She's not a patient woman, but she stayed in that airport for 13 hours.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
If it makes you feel better, I was sitting at the airport bar and there were a group of people, looked like they were wearing dishrags. So I clapped and I said, good job, honey.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Just have them edit that in a few times, okay? Can you please leave me alone now? All right. This plantation doesn't plant itself, right? So Sutton's like, well, I just wanted my mother here to tell me that she's proud of me, basically. I mean, I did this whole thing just so people would say, I'm proud of you. And she did it. So I guess, you know, I can stay home now. Just kidding.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Good Lord.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So it's Arrivals and people are like, hey Kyle, anything to say about taking the word wife off your Instagram? I'm not talking to press.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Yeah. So, yeah, you're very famous. So then everybody's arriving and Jennifer Tilly is telling everybody they look amazing.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
And Kyle's carrying a big mug of beer that they're all making fun of her about. And then Sutton comes to Garcelle and Bose and Sutton's like, what's been going on? My head has been like in the sand or on my laptop. And Bose is like, do you need a breathing exercise? She goes, well, after this is over, you can congratulate me. But now just pray for me. Just pray.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
She's like, all right, girl, I'm fine. Just pray.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
It's a very expensive way to get people to say, I'm proud of you. So whatever, you've got the money, go for it, you know? So then Dorit and Kyle are catching up and they're talking about Mauricio. She's like, oh, I'm better today, you know? Like I know TMZ reported that like, I went to a concert to like make Mauricio jealous, but like,
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
really like that's how they think i made them jealous really standing watching a concert i mean come on and then we see the tabloid photos of kyle doing just that and uh showing love kyle richards spotted supporting morgan wade at her show and she's like well if i'm gonna make him jealous it's gonna be a lot more than in those photos trust me i'm getting somebody's name tattooed on me where your arm is starting to look like a sign-in sheet right
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So, um, yeah, so she's saying, listen, I mean, I don't know what the situation is with those fellows, but I mean, it seems like suspect. Okay. Like, I mean, he's not exactly Brad Pratt.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I hit my hand and somehow now I can't bend my knee. Oh, it really hurt getting into the car. You know, cars are very small now. I bruised my head. That was the mailbox, Kathy. Oh, yeah. So where are the Hortivorties? The what? The Hortivores.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So then we see a headline that says, Prosecutors say Tom Girardi spent $25 million of clients' money on Erika Jayne's entertainment career. As Tom's trial date is revealed.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Um, if you're going to say Dorit should introduce everybody, Sutton's going to kill you. It's her fashion show, Kathy. She's like, oh no, you know, that's why we should all help her. So I'll be right back. So backstage Sutton's just freaking out back there and she's like hiding behind a plant to like chug a drink.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
It's like, what is she doing? Kathy's like, oh my God, Kathy, I haven't been this embarrassed since Mauricio took a picture with some slut in an airport. So she's like, Sutton, Sutton, it's me, Kathy Hilton. Okay, now listen, Sutton, did you need to read? Because to read would be happy to introduce the people and she can do all of the narrating. She's like, we are not narrating.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
This is not, it's a real fashion show, Kathy. She's like, oh, I know.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So they send her out and then she's like, okay, we're ready. Let's go. So the music starts and then Kathy just walks out from where she came, which is down the runway. And she's limping.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I was cracking up during this whole thing. So finally she goes to sit down and Kathy, Kathy, oh my God.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Yeah. So we see these clothes. I don't really get it. Most of them are pretty plain. It's like, here's what you wear to work at the bank. And, you know, then here's a pleather skirt. It's like, I don't really understand. And then she really did send a guy down in khaki shorts and like a cotton polo shirt with sneakers. That's the guy I'm calling the golf ball boy.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I don't really understand a lot of this stuff. It wasn't hideous, but I didn't, I don't know. Like you can bury it and it'll, it'll just like turn into dirt.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
And they say, so Dorit, are you impressed? And she's like, hold on. I've just received a fax.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So Jennifer Tilly comes out in like a sweater dress thing and she's just like, it's me, Jennifer Tilly.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
And so she does her- Chimed, chimed, chimed.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So she does her strut down the runway and Kyle's like, oh my God, this is so important. I hope that somebody's proud of her, like really anyone. That's really all she needs. So Sutton gives a speech and she's like, guys, if you're not quenching enough already, I'd like to give a speech. My 22 year old daughter's here. I hope she's proud of me. Are you proud of me? Are you proud of me?
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Say it louder. God damn it. You want your allowance this month. You are taken out of that trust. She's proud of me. She nodded. My mama wanted to be here, but she's not here. So that's something. I'm not going to say that she missed her flight or something. I'm just going to make it sound like she ditched my show. So y'all will still hate her. But she's not here. But I hope.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So they're telling, Kyle's telling Sutton, you know, she did a great job. And they're talking about how great Jade was. And Sutton's like, wow, Dad, my friends, this group of friends congratulate me. And they're actually proud, proud. Oh, for Christ's sake, lady, Jesus. So they're like, wow, you did great. You bought all those clothes and had people wear them. Good for you.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
And Catherine's like, what you showed us is that you could have a sustainable line, but also be beautiful. It's like if I saw a recycling trash can in a feather boa. I would say, you know what? They're making an effort. And that's how I felt today. So good for you.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
And that brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, everybody. Thank you so much for joining us. Go sign up for Patreon for videos and traders recaps. Don't forget to do it on a web browser and not the Patreon app because Apple are monsters. And also join us on our national tour. Get our links and ticket dates and ticket links and all that good stuff over at watchwhatcrappens.com.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
And we'll talk to you next time. Bye.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Hava Nagila Weber.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Yes, we can-a, it's Sedana.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I would like to be able to show this book to some of my friends this time.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
You know, when you called and told me, Mom, I have a Porsche, I mean, now that's pride right there. I mean, I just knew you were ready to soar to the top of the world. And you're making a lot of money in leases. I hope you've got a long contract with this show.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Yeah. So then we go to Porsche Via. Or no, Portavia. We went there, right? We did.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
We're very fancy.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So Garcelle comes and she's like, please don't hug me. I'm not ready for it.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I feel fine. Just please don't touch me. Please stay over there. Don't want your poor all over me. So listen, Carcel. Carcel, it feels like it's been at least two months since I've been able to say, I'm Goots. I'm Goots. And you know what? Today I say it. I'm Goots. Adam Enberg, and I'm a star of Short Circuit.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
But here we are, just me and Garcelle. And hopefully she's brought her American Express because I'm not paying for this.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
It's so nice that Dorit has stopped being problematic. Garcelle, would you please hang my coat? All right, I'm going to ignore that and talk about Black Girl Missing, number 73. Stop attacking me.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
To us, being mamas, me and you, we're mamas. And not only are we mamas, we're busy, busy mamas.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I mean, so much. I mean, listen, picky am I right now. We're just status quo. And I'm good. I'm happy. I'm happy that he's happy. And you know what? If he's happy, I'm happy.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
No. Well, I can relate to Dorit and what she's going through because nobody wants to get divorced when you have kids. You know, my boys are 16 and I'm dealing with that. And I just look at her children and I think, God, neither one of you has a comp card. And it's sad.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Oh, they were just on my phone. Carl forwarded them to me. We're very close now.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
okay well you know i mean mauricio uh i saw one of the blogs say that she took off the word wife after the picture surface and then we see headlines kyle removes wife from her instagram there are things going on in the world there are things that are actually happening in this world please stop covering who takes what off their instagram bios just stop it
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Well, and then, you know, then we've got Kyle going to Morgan's concerts on the sidelines, and people are speculating, is this Kyle's way of getting back at Mauricio? Which is so funny, because it's so Kyle, too. Really? Well, I'm taking the name wife off, and then I'm going to stand right at Morgan's concert, you know, right on the sidelines, so you know I'm backstage!
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Oh, these people are so crazy and they're so gossipy. I don't care. If somebody wants to get a separation but not get divorced and date other people, who cares? I don't think there's one way you have to do it. I'm a proof of this separation so far. Wait, are you saying that you're pro this and that? I mean, don't do this and that.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Well, it's just funny that Dorit's saying that because on White Lotus, that's a big thing because the character Greg is back on there. And one of the other like criminal guys is Walton Goggins is like, so what do you do? And he's like, oh, you know, a little this and that. And Walton Goggins goes, oh yeah, that's a good business. You know, I do a little this and that.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
She's like, oh, this rug is just gorgeous, you know.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
And he's like, yeah, a little this and that, not pretty strong industry. So it's like criminal speak. And Dorit's like, I mean, you don't just go on doing this and that because that's kind of what PK does as well. So it's like a nice tie-in with my favorite show.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
She goes, I do see, Erica, I do. It's real pretty.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
well she's basically the voice of the audience right because she goes and reads what the audience is saying and then she brings all that up right to the show which most of them pretend none of that stuff's happening and she's like well the the show said erica that you've stolen money from poor people and what about these earrings and what about this like she'll get everything we're talking about and bring it so i like it it's like audience mess
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
But I love that they showed the clip of Kyle and Morgan getting that tattoo, when Kyle's getting a tattoo, and she's like, you need to get a K on yourself. And they ask how they met, and Morgan's like, oh, she stalked me. She stalked me.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Please get out of here, Renee. This is not your scene. Now, you don't think Sutton ever does anything wrong? She goes, no, no, no, no. And she's like, well, and I'm just a cruel, raging bitch. And she goes, well, you were.
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
at caviar caspira she wasn't cruel to me she wasn't cruel to me and then we see a flashback of that stuff of parit and all that and garcelle's like well that was mean and it was really cruel but at least she's not making you wear a khaki jumpsuit with name them as a name tag so you got off easy
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#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So Dorit's like, well, truth be told, as long as Garcelle is doing Sutton's bidding, never speaking up when Sutton goes below the belt. Oh, please, you fucking victim. You are just as bad. You've been walking around calling that lady an alcoholic for years. Come on now. No one's crying for you, Dorit.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
You know, the theories are all over on that one. People are saying it's probably just a Bravo fan in the airport that ended up selling it to TMZ, which I can kind of buy because last week I was like, this is Kyle or Mauricio. You know, I was onto that last week, but I can see how it was probably just one of us.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
We did it. iPhones specifically. We're like, fuck Apple. iPhones are the best in the world. So she's very upset wearing black today because, you know, Mauricio is getting some ass. And she's like, I'm just, I'm shocked. I'm processing. Like, oh my God. And then we see headlines. Mauricio spotted kissing new woman. And she's like, honestly, I was like, I don't even know.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I mean, she said she lost the feelings in her legs when she saw that, like Jen did. And you know, I was like, maybe it's because I've been crushing you up to the side of the car and not really giving you leg room, but still, you don't deserve it. You're an assistant.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
That's the only people Kyle hires, you know? Like she hangs out with that guy, her best friend. He's so sweet. Like he seems so sweet. He's on E or something now. And he's always like, mm-hmm, Kyle, mm-hmm. Like she loves that energy around her. Just like, oh my God, Kyle, I saw something about Maurizio and I lost my legs. Literally, I'm in a wheelchair. I'm in a wheelchair.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
It was so hard for Jen to check me out at Whole Foods. I mean, she was just watching her drag herself to the checkout lane. I had to lift her actually to scam things.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Oh, is that in tabloid? No, no. I mean, it's just only on E. But still, huge news. Huge.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
You know, why is Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt, why are they still on the cover of every tabloid? It's so weird. I noticed that at the grocery store. Can you tell I had a very eventful time at the grocery store? Why are they still, why is it the same people from like 40 years ago on the cover of every tabloid? It's bizarre.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Tina Yeathers? I mean, if you're going to reach into the past, at least bring me people I want to know about what happened to Tina Yeathers. Who's she fucking?
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Thank you. So yeah, she has no feelings in her legs now. So Kathy's like, well, how are you doing? And she goes, yeah. Oh, so Kathy's like... So she lost her legs when she saw what? She goes, the picture of Maurizio. Who? Maurizio, my ex-husband and that girl kissing. Oh, yeah, I saw that. She's like, well, isn't that why you're asking how I'm doing?
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
She goes, well, kind of, yeah, but I wanted you to bring it up. I don't know. I knew eventually we would see something like that. I just didn't want to be the one to say it. So we're allowed to talk about this on camera? Are you going to refuse to speak to me for three more years?
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
And she's like, well, I don't want him to feel guilty because like, I mean, he's allowed to do what he wants, you know, but like, it's also like, why are you being so irresponsible? Kyle, you have been following that lady around and calling the paparazzi to take your picture for literally years now. Just stop.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I can't with Kyle and her like, how could he, how could he purposely be in paparazzi pictures with the person he's having an affair with? Come to Morgan Wade, March 17th at the Palladium.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Cause Mauricio wasn't around, like he was working too hard when she needed him. You know, I get the whole being hurt thing. It's just the paparazzo thing is where I'm calling bullshit with Kyle because she's the worst at calling paparazzi on herself. It's like, look, Kyle Richards is passing Old Navy with lesbian lover Morgan Wayne.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Yeah, which I think is a valid concern because she can still have she they can still play family, you know, when he's single, they can still like play family. But then if there's another lady there, it's going to be.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Yeah, the prices through the Apple app are more expensive. So if you want 30% less, sign up online. Just sign up online and then you can still use the app. That's crazy. I know, they're such greedy fucks. Like they're honestly such greedy fucks. And what do they do for that 30%? Nothing, nothing. They have a little app. So if you want to use the app, still use the app. Just sign up via web browser.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So she was like, well, yesterday I wanted to write him and say like, who is that? But I thought it's none of my business. And you know, and it's not.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Kathy. I'm sorry. Was I not allowed to say that? Are you going to stop speaking to me for Kathy? Just always having to check in. So then we go to Erica's house and Erica is doing that thing where there's no HGTV to show off your house. So she's just doing it herself. She's just like crying in every room.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Yeah, I think it looks great. I love the wallpaper. You know, I'm a wallpaper person. The wallpaper was great. It's maybe a little overdone on the wallpaper, but I liked it. I thought it was really nice. The wallpaper in the kitchen, specifically the kitchen. I think the kitchen looks great. He did like palm tree wallpaper and then like a palm, a palm tree looking gold light fixture in there.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I thought that looked pretty good.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Well, he also does things where he puts those antique chairs everywhere where he's like, ooh, it's like your Marie Antoinette. This was actually from Marie Antoinette's douche room or whatever. And he puts that in there. I'm like, Eric ain't sitting in that. Give me a chair I could use. I don't want some dusty asshole chair.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
And I really liked that her best viewpoint is the one facing the new wall of mirrors.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
It's a view. You're standing, there's like 10 versions of you straight ahead, you know? He's like, well, feel the new energy. And so we've seen the before and after, and I think he did a really good job. He took a lot of her, well, he took some of the furniture and he still used it, you know, cause this was like a cheap job for him. It's not a cheap job to us.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I mean, 35 grand is not cheap, but for him, that's pretty cheap. And basically a lot of that money was spent on taping off the walls to make straight line painting everywhere. He really loves that. Like look at the hallway, the bottom of the hallway is black and then there's a black stripe. And then the rest is white. Look at the bungalow. Stripes.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I'm like, does every room in here have to wear horizontal stripes?
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
The bungalow's like, do I look fat in here?
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Well, here's what you are.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Oh, mom, you're here. She's like, I sure am. Wow, this is magnificent.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
She's an emotional terrorist and made me sad when I was younger when she sat in the back of my dad's recital and gave me dirty looks. It was my job, honey.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
He's like, don't come near me, please. This is how I kiss now. Just stand right there, Renee.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So we're putting Legos in our face now. Nice house.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Are there bedpans around here that you want to decorate the living room table with?
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Oh, I bet, I bet it is. So they go to look at this weird black and white hallway. The black and white hallway is the only thing I don't like. I don't like it. It's not working. So we see the before and it was plain white and now it's got the palm tree everywhere. I'd also like to see maybe one solid wall. I don't know. The whole, it looks too fun housey with the wallpaper all over.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Cause this is some loud wallpaper. But I think it's pretty nice. Also a new bed. Her bed is too like earth Tony for this room.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Who do we talk about housewives with? I mean, that's one reason we'll never go on strike. Our heads will explode if we don't have somebody to talk about this shit with.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
it's rose gold in hollywood palm special palm from hollywood she's like well i'm not familiar with palm for all i'm for all i know this is day palm i mean this is erica's bedroom we know what that's led to so well this is really a room for you to star in erica what every mother wants to hear martin thank you this has been fun now i'm a big stickler i don't like to see seams in wallpaper like this
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So then Kyle and Kathy are arriving at the Bedford Breast Center, and it's time to get some mammies done.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Wow, you smell. And Kyle's like, this is not fun. This is very anxiety provoking. And so we see the scans and Kathy's like, okay, here's the test. I want to know who has bigger boobs, Kyle or me.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Time. Although I guess that's a good place to hate cancer, you know, when you're in the mammogram place.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I support my wife making a life about your show, even though you're getting no money or permission to write anything. A thousand percent. Kathy, Kathy, come back down, Kathy.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
It doesn't look easy to me. It's hard to even walk around a grocery store. The other day I was in the HEB and I went from the produce to the eggs just to see how expensive eggs were. Because, you know, I want to be one of those people who's like, eggs? Eggs are so expensive! Yeah. Like I wanted to do that. So I did it. It was fun. It was like a tourist thing in the store.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So Kyle's like, you know what I need to do. I'm going to do it right now because he's getting more attention than me. He's getting more attention than me. So I'm going to go on Instagram and I'm going to remove wife from my Instagram bio. Cause like, why would I have wife on there with him running around with some young girl? No. Okay.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
You had wife on there when you were running around with some girl. Why switch it now?
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
You know what? I'm just going to put in shrimp because Morgan really likes shrimp.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So she's basically, that's her big move. She's going to take wife off her bio. Dun, dun, dun. And you know, she's saying it's for her own pride, but I think it's because she wants more stories about her because she's jealous that Mauricio is getting the stories. So she's like, yeah, I mean, he took off husband and father of his bio. He just put CEO of the agency.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So I'm not going to have that on there. It just feels so stupid.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Yeah, and we see Mo's bio, which is interesting.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Entrepreneur, CEO and founder of the agency, executive producer of Buying Beverly Hills Netflix, and co-founder American Real Estate Association.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So I went over to the egg section and I was like, this is exhausting. I'm so tired. Like I looked at my steps on my watch. I was like, how many steps did that take? Because I've aged five years.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So Kathy's like, well, I don't think that this lady knows any better. And she's like, well, clearly he doesn't know that his photo is being taken. But like, I mean, it looked like somebody was taking that photo intentionally, intentionally, Kathy.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Like, you think it's weird that she's saying, oh, well, it's not like he did it on purpose because he didn't know that picture was being taken. Right. That's how I'm taking it. Like, it's not like he was trying to hurt me because he didn't see somebody taking his picture. It was like a hidden camera or something. So it's not like he was trying to hurt me or anything.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I almost feel like it's this girl that's doing it. It's the woman who's purposely getting the picture known so she can get more publicity. You know, it's like, oh, same old, same old with Kyle.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Yeah, because I think he's pretty rich. I mean, the agency's a pretty huge deal. I mean, it's all across America all of a sudden. I mean, I'm sure he's pretty rich, but I don't know. What does Kathy know? Tell me what he knows.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I got a piece of DNA off the brush that she used there. So maybe you could run that through someone. Not that I really care. Okay. Her name is Estella and she's a 4% Chinese. Oh, she beat me. She beat me.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I went and I stood in front of the eggs and I went, eggs, $8. Oh my God. And then everyone, I know. And then everyone started going like, not everyone, but like a couple of people are like, isn't it ridiculous? What is this word coming to you? Just wait until the tariffs come. It was fun.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Why do her fingerprints look like rhinoceroses? Am I right? look at these things can you believe she wrote about snow white and her senior thesis oh my god i just don't even want i don't even know who this person is oh my god thank god we're here i got my hands on her last pap smear um but not that i care not that i really care cool oh my god i found it where'd that come from
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I actually left those on accident. All right. Back to the car.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I was like, oh my God, is this her? She's just a little girl. No, Kathy, that's a little girl sitting in the back seat going, Oh, okay. It's a meme, Kathy. All right.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So she's like, well, it's Estella. It's Estella. She's like, I don't care what her name is. It's like, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. But it does remind me of when he put that picture of the dancing with the stars lady in there. Kathy, stop it. Okay. Well, I just, you know what? It could be somebody else next week. So why even worry about this girl? It's like, yeah.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I mean, like she goes, yeah. Like who cares? And Kathy's like, I mean, it could be, she could be a nice person. You know, she could be nice. Who knows? You know, but you have to digest it, Kyle.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Once again, Kathy, I do not care. Are you calling TMC or are you just going to keep saying one ringy dingy, two ringy dingy?
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Yeah. I wish she had, I want to know who did it. This is the biggest mystery of the year, uh, on this show, at least.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So now let's go to Sutton, the store in West Hollywood, which nobody knew it was the last days of this store. So she's going through her inventory, lots of, you know, weird, khaki uniforms from the fifties for like, I don't know, storage workers. And she's like, we got some situations here. This is an extra large. It doesn't need to be in this pile.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I want the mediums here and I want the extra larges over there, Avi.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
We're here eggs, we're queer eggs, get used to it. I mean, if they were queer eggs, I would pay that much money. That would be awesome to have like gay eggs. I'd be like, here's my 10 dollars.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So they start drinking and she talks about how her mom's supposed to come, but her flight at eight in the morning was canceled. So big deal. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I did show them her picture in case she got lost. And they said, she just took out Mario. So we're trying to catch her. That was rough. That was a rough one. And so she says that there's a flight outage. And it was when that big, there was that big outage across the country and everything was grounded. And so she's like, oh, typical Sutton style.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Even the national grid is coming after my pride and happiness.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
It turns out the outage was caused by an old woman uploading a virus. She got an email from a Nigerian prince claiming that he had an inheritance for her.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So she's like, well, she's going to come tomorrow. I just got a text and her flight is going to be coming tomorrow. So we hope, fingers crossed. And so she's like, yeah, I've never done a fashion show, but I've been to a lot of fashion shows and I know what I like. Okay. I just want it to be fun and gorgeous. I want someone just dressed like they're hired to pick up golf balls off the ground.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
That's what I want.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
You're making eggs, you're like, I believe in life after love.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So then we see a montage of all this fighting and all of this good stuff. And then Garcelle's like, oh, I mean, it's just never done. Dorit and Sutton, it bleeds into something else and then it blows up and there's never going to be a resolution between those two. I mean, I haven't even had a chance to talk about this. I've built a beach house and I've never been prouder.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Do people on cricket get the same text that the people on Verizon get?
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
The girl is, what's she wearing? Like a thong bikini with a cover up over it, right? I mean, I'm guessing they're in some luxurious resort in Greece and she's like, okay. I think they're at the airport still. Why not? I don't think it's that crazy to wear this. Can we just leave the woman alone? The woman didn't do anything. I don't know what everybody's mad at her for, you know?
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Old queer eggs. No Chapel Roan for me. I'm still sticking with my old queen egg dance.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Jesus Christ. These ladies are vicious. And I don't even like Kyle. And I was like, damn. And Sutton's like, well, I think Kyle's holding out for this moment of Mauricio, you know, coming back and being like, oh, it's a terrible mistake. I'm moving back in. But, you know, I hope that Kyle sees through what he's doing. I hope she sees right through it.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So now they're basically just kind of making fun of Kyle, you know, and she needs to wake up. Does she not realize Marisa has moved on? What does it take? Now, we've both been through it and there's ways to handle it like adults. And that's called attorneys. And when anybody wants to get a divorce, that's when we're going to have a real good girls night.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Itchels!
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Hava Nagila Weber.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
And we'll be announcing what we're doing next weekend for live shows on Friday. So check out our Instagram and we'll also mention it here on the show, but anyway, That's where you find out.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
We really don't know because it's such a weird in-between time for Bravo. I'm used to having like multiple housewives to choose from, you know, at the end of the week, mid to end of the week. And we don't have that. So what will it be?
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
We don't.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Yeah, it's going to be fun time. So I'm excited.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I'm excited to start egg rabble all over the country. I'm going to every grocery store in every town and going, oh, the price of eggs on the run.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
It's like before you eat, you eat queer eggs before you sew. You're like, yes.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I'm proud of everybody. No, but I'm proud of you. I am a queer egg. So let's do this. So Bose is at home and really her only scene today is that she made tea for her daughter. It's true. I felt kind of bad for her because she didn't get any scenes today, but it was nice. And she's like, I picked the lemongrass myself. And her daughter's like, where? And she's like, from the jar. Ha ha ha!
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Vanilla, I think it makes everything better. Because vanilla, every sweet recipe calls for vanilla. I mean, I eat overnight oats every day. Like that's my newest thing that I'm obsessing over. And the only thing that makes that taste good is vanilla. I don't care. You can put anything else in it. It won't taste right.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
But if you put some vanilla plus everything else, vanilla is a miracle worker, guys. You know what this world needs? Vanilla. Vanilla.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Well, I can guarantee you no other podcast had this much controversy over Boza's time on the show today.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Guess what we're in a hurry to do? Nothing. Okay. So now we go over to LA model management and Carstel's there with Jade and they've got their, you know, modeling agent over there. Who's like, guys, I've got a little surprise for you. It's your, it's your, your cue card or whatever. It's called your comp card.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Well, let me tell you what they didn't give me as a model for chunky clothes at Dillard's when I was a teenager. A comp card. Give me that. Where's my comp card? What, fat kids just don't get those? You know, this is one of those times where I just get mad at skinny kids just for being skinny. Like, what do you get to be a model for? Guess what?
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
They looked at me and they said, you know what you'd be good for? To repaint all of the bowling ball racks in the bowling alley. Get to it. Or you're never getting allowance again. Okay, that's what fat kids get.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I'm sorry, were you not going for one of the mushrooms in Super Mario? Because you still look like that. So, I mean, I like that haircut. She's just like, I want to thwart Mario. That's my look.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
She was trying to get kidnapped. Do you think it's strange that Peach is kidnapped every single video game? Okay. At some point, you need to realize Peach is trying to get away.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
So Sutton's super excited, but you know, her hair's frizzing and Sutton goes, we have people like that. People like Dorit. Poor people, mother. Now listen, your hair is frizzing, but at least your bank account's not on the fritz. Like poor Reet! By the way, I thought that episode was so funny. And you know, I know it was really controversial with the whole poor Reet thing.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
People are like, oh my God, Sutton's such a terrorist. Which, you know, I think we would agree with, but still applied. And I thought, well, that's such a stupid comment. And like, it's not that funny. You know, like her reads, I thought were so stupid, like you're poor. But man, it really caught on like wildfire. People are just calling Dorit poor eat all over the internet. So you know what?
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
Mission accomplished. I guess she did a good job. Her gaze did well.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
She's making a new $5,000, you know, jumpsuit that looks like, you know, you'd wear on safari if you were hurting the animals in Africa. And it's just going to say poor eat.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
I feel like it's probably something they stole from a comment thread somewhere. It probably is. A Reddit thing or something. Although I don't think I've seen it there before, but I see it now every single day. Poor Rita. Then we go over to Kathy Hilton and Kyle is picking her up and Kathy's trying to get into the mailbox. She's like, Kathy, get into my car. It's the mailbox. She's like, ooh. Whoa.
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#2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You
She's like, can you believe this? Yeah, I'm wearing all black in the heat. I'm just not in the mood. You're like, I'm not in the mood because I'm single now. Ah.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I don't understand. I don't even know what half those movies are. I mean, what the hell? Where's La La Land?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I've always loved that sexual abuser and his whore of a mother and why I said anything mean about them. It's beyond me. Dear sexual assaulter and whore mother, Merry Christmas. Love, Thomas Ravenal and the children he stole from Catherine.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Well, speaking of Thomas, it came out also this week that Jason Isaacs of White Lotus is basing his character on Thomas or Southern Charm at the very least.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
southern charm at the very least southern charm but most likely thomas let's face it i mean that accent is exactly thomas ravenel he says i don't want to i don't want thomas ravenel suing me for whatever pennies i have left so i'm not going to give him too much credit here comes one right now
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
We did. Yeah, I need some inspiration. Like, I need you to be here to watch it with, because you make it fun. When I'm alone, I'm like, oh, shut up. Shut up about your cause. I don't care about your cause. Take your cause and suck it.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Yeah, I do, too. It kind of explains a lot of Tanya's character, actually.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
And also the three ladies who are on this year who are all gossiping about each other, like the three best friends. Every episode, it's them gossiping about another one of the friends in the circle. They take turns beating on each other.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Although they can suck my dick with that theme song. That's not it. Why did they do that? Why would you do that? I mean, look, the theme song is not terrible, but why would you take the most iconic theme songs? And they had two versions of it, right? They had the first season, then they redid it for the second season. I think so. And the third season, first of all, it's too low.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Like they'd mixed it really low. It goes HBO. Yeah. And then the music's like. So it's too low. And it sounds like it's just beginning right before the remix and they're gonna be bringing in the.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
You are fun to watch the Oscars with, for sure. We ripped that thing to shreds. We had a really good time watching that. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't watch any of that. I did watch White Lotus, however, and Married to Madison and those things. You know, the real classy, the real classy, the real top class shows. All right, everybody. Welcome to the show today in Bravo News.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
There were rumors. Someone had asked us in the comments on the crappy hour post today. Like, what do you want to talk about on crappy hour? And someone said the rumors that Sheena and Brock are splitting up. So I looked for those rumors and I couldn't find anything except from April of last year that she said, we're not splitting up, but we're going through problems. But that was a long time ago.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
So I don't think they're splitting up. I mean, I don't know. Does anybody care? I don't care.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I do know that she takes care of that man and she's going to need that income to take care of him. So I hope she gets a job where they will split up. He'll be out of there.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
So did you see this stuff about Kathy Griffin going on something? I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't know what she went on.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
But she went on a podcast and finally outed the big secret of the Amsterdam trip where Lisa Rinna was like, do not. bring up my husband and slammed the glass and like went for Kim's waddle and tried to strangle her and then stab her with the glass and all of that good stuff. And so Kathy Griffin went to dinner with them and she said, Harry, what's the secret? Just tell me the secret.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
And he said, they said, I fucked a dog.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Harry's not sly like that. You, you had a dinner with Harry. We had a dinner with Harry Hamlin. He's not a sly person. Who's thinking like that, you know, he's true and he will tell the truth, you know? And, yeah, I do think that's what it was. And I think that's fucking hilarious.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Brave. Brave move. Yeah. I don't think he fucked a dog either. I mean...
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
who knows anything could happen these days but i don't think he did i'm gonna say he probably did not do that grace says that kathy griffin was on the podcast trash tuesday thank you for that god we need you guys here for every show we do to correct us when we're wrong which is at least in my case 80 of the time i could use this comment thread running on the side So let's see.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
What else do we have here?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I can never tell if a lot's going on, really, or nothing's going on because it's Bravo. You know, I guess the news is what you make of it. Ben just told me that the New York strip steak has been changed to the Texas.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Well, look, the Sandoval stuff helped Ariana. I mean, she became a massive star after all that happened. But it also helped Tom Sandoval. I mean, Tom Sandoval hasn't really stopped working ever since then. And he's been a villain and a punching bag. But he still had a lot of work from it. He's on Traders. I mean, he's one of the only Vanderpump Rules people to ever be on Traders. So I'm with you.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I think that he likes the fame. And, of course, he would have been a traitor. He would have been a horrible one. He would have probably been on Week 2. But, yeah, he's full of shit.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
When you found out.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I was in the roundabout, and coming home to my house, there's a roundabout. Well, I guess they're not roundabouts, they're traffic circles. You know, I've already told this story, because I remember people taught me what a traffic circle was, because I used to call them roundabouts.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
But anyway, I was in a traffic circle coming home, and someone read me the text, and I was like, no, and I just kept going around and around in the traffic. Just kept going around. I was like, I can't believe it.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
And I was probably voice to texting you right in that circle. I was like a crazy person. I couldn't stop.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
You mean other things in your life or what?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Well, mine were, I don't believe it. I didn't believe it when it, when it happened. I didn't believe it at all. I thought it was just a rumor.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
So, yeah, happy two-year anniversary, everybody. That was a fun one. God bless it. I know.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
And it also started a trend that is still going to this day where Bravo insists on picking the cameras back up.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Yeah. Glad they can double property taxes every year and spend the money where we really need it. Renaming fucking stakes.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
after something happened and it's usually some kind of affair or something it's like oh we found out about an affair they keep trying to recreate it but you're not going to do it with Mia you're not going to do it with this Kyle bullshit you're not going to do it even Paige and Craig like it's just not the same thing you know but they're going to try so it's a nice new tradition that they started
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Um, Dolores isn't great at gameplay, but who cares? I mean, there's always gotta be a dummy. At least, at least she's an entertaining dummy. She's so funny. People are so pissed. I mean, and all the traders boards that I read, they are so mad at Dolores, but I can't get mad at Dolores. I just think she's hilarious. And what if she's really smart?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
You know, there's not many people with these theories, but what if she is actually really smart and she knows everything that's going on?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
That's fair. What if she's really smart, Jennifer?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Oh my gosh. I like this one. Dolores seems thrilled to be in any room and also confused to be in any given room.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Yeah. Well, you know, Dolores, she's just old school Italian. She's from Patterson. She believes this lady who's saying, I swear on my children. And that's it. Dolores is just going to believe that and she's going to go with it. That's how she's raised and that's how it's going to go. You know, they knew how to work her and they got it. It worked.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
If I was in L.A., I would come with you or something, but here I won't, no, because I don't have anybody who watches it here. Really? It would be inviting people over to enjoy something that they don't enjoy, and they're like, what is this?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
But people is going to stay with Danielle. I think she's going to keep Danielle.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Yeah, I need more of, like, an AbFab style. Like, if you're gonna go against the grain of the royal family, I want you to be, like, chain-smoking and, like, fucking people in bathrooms and stuff. I don't want this, like... But I'm still doing it proper and use the correct fork. Like, get the fuck out of here, man.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
So Allison is asking, did I on spill the tea of who on the traders has a huge crush on Sandoval, which Sandoval is freaked out about? I don't think that she has has mentioned who she was talking about, but all evidence is pointing to.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
carolyn actually because carolyn is like oh you know i really love john sandoval what a gentle soul i just love the guy like he gets me so and she said on her podcast that she has a crush on him but i think she meant friend crush i mean i don't know who knows about you know but yikes
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I did see that the other day when I was, you know, doing my morning duties. That was the first thing I read. And I thought it was kind of a joke because his tweet, something like, thank God Dorit and Kyle have taken time to come together on something they really understand, or like a common thing, or I don't know. His tweet was like, just, it wasn't funny.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Make sure you add this screenshot to all of the Reddit threads. So I love that she's a Reddit queen too. Yeah, so this is pretty shitty. So they edited that on purpose to make it look like she was jumping JT when he had a girlfriend.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
However, if you really start thinking about it, okay, so then you were on this vacation, so then you jumped, you know, you straddled him or whatever twice, and he told you, no, he has a girlfriend. So then why would you have him to dinner at your house and act all giddy like he's your boyfriend and then be shocked that he's saying that he has a girlfriend? Yeah.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Well, but there's still something fishy, okay? Because there's that thing. Like, there's the Branzino dinner after, which doesn't make sense if she knew he had a girlfriend. But I get that maybe that could have been edited, too. But then she was doing interviews before the season started, and she went on Ryan Bailey, and she said that she had been dating JT...
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
JT ghosted her while they dated and then posted a girlfriend on Instagram And she was shocked about it. She was completely shocked about it. And that doesn't make sense either. So what she said doesn't make sense either because he didn't ghost her and she wasn't shocked about the girlfriend because we saw her tell about it. We saw him tell her about it on TV.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
So then the girlfriend, whose name is Allie, under this post that you just read of Vanita's, Allie says, Vanita met me as Jarrett's girlfriend at dinner with Bunny last April pre-filming. But I appreciate her trying to save face. Happy to send receipts. Oh, wow. She's saying that Vanita went into filming knowing that he had a girlfriend and then still was trying to get with him that whole time.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
So I don't really know what the hell's happening because Vanita's stories don't make sense either. I don't understand how one minute she's ghosted and then the next minute we see what happens and she wasn't ghosted at all.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
But well, I guess I guess if something is to say that JT was, you know, JT wronged her. So that would make her like a victim, which would elevate her in the audience's eyes. Like we were just talking about scandal and stuff like that. And how every show kind of has to have something like that. So maybe she was trying to do that. I don't know.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I'm not even accusing her of anything because I honestly don't even understand what's going on. I just don't understand why she's using all these stories that don't add up at this point. And also, I just don't understand the fighting for JT in general.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
It was just like, wow, you know, I'm glad that Dorit and Kyle are getting along. And I thought it was kind of a joke, but I didn't really get the joke. So I didn't really understand it. So I just kind of put it off. And then everybody in the Bravo verse got very excited that Ben Stiller was a fan.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Yeah. Texas girl in Virginia says, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. The real villain here is JT. He didn't do a good job of discouraging her. I mean, he sold her. I know. I don't know. I mean, I agree that the season was spent with him flirting with her. When they showed that Branzino dinner, I felt really terrible for her.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
And that he came in and he ate the whole Branzino before kind of, you know, dumping that news on her. And then, you know, even the thing in Hawaii, I mean, I don't know. I mean, I did feel bad for her for a point, but I mean, he did say flat out he's dating the other girl. So if that happened, I don't know. I don't know. It's confusing.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
You know, I don't like the lies. You know, it makes me crazy when people come out. It makes me crazy that she's saying one thing when the season started about being ghosted. And we saw that that didn't happen. And now she's not addressing that and making it sound like something else. And then this girlfriend is saying that she was dating him the whole season. I don't know. I want truth in my lies.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I want truth in my liar shows. I want to know what the hell's going on. They're confusing me. They're making me invest in things. And then at the end, they're just pulling out the rug. I don't like it.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
The other gossip going on in the Southern Charm world is that Craig is dating, ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da, Sally? Sally? There have been some hints that they've been dating. Is this one of the bitches in Craig's phone?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
He's just not smart. I don't know. She hasn't dated one person that I would think wouldn't make somebody nuts. She's dated a lot of people that we've seen on the show, and they all look like idiots.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
It started at Du Moi, claiming Conover and Carson were seen having dinner together at No Pew. And then JT wrote under the post, makes sense.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
And didn't Austin make a comment like, geez, you save a girl from drowning and this is how she repays you?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Yeah. Do things just because they're the good thing to do? No, I'm not going to fucking do that. And you know, here's a perfect example. I went to the grocery store today and I went to the Hobby Lobby, not the Hobby Lobby, Michael's, the non-evil one. And I went to Old Navy, two of those stores, not Old Navy. Thank you, Old Navy.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Two of those stores at the very end said, you want to round up for poor children? No, I fucking don't. Stop trying to do good when I'm trying to shop in your goddamn store. I want a glue gun. Okay. That's what I fucking want. If the poor kids want something, they can come over here and glue some shit. Get out of here. It's round up the change. You all take that for tax breaks anyway.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Don't try and good people me. I'm losing my hair. Did you not hear? I'm a bad person. So stop asking.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Don't you even give me a dead person. I'm not going to stand for it at the very end of this show.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Is she finally dead?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
They've been saying that for years. She's never closed. Joanne fabrics has been having a going out of business sale for five years.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Oh, I have to tell you about my TaskRabbit. Okay, so on the show I talked about wanting to bang my TaskRabbit, okay? And I didn't know the TaskRabbit, I just hired him. And it was basically a piece on loneliness, okay? So the TaskRabbit comes, he's hot as hell, of course he's hot.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Bitch. Joanne is a bizarre, that is a bizarre place, man. Joanne's fabric. So I was going to say, what are they going to bury her in? Just like some unsold, like the only piece of fabric they couldn't sell in this five years of going out of business. It's like poor Joanne, rest in Paisley, bitch. Rest in Paisley.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Oh my gosh. All right, everybody. Well, this is ending the audio portion. We are going to move on to viewer chat time over on YouTube Live. So anyone listening on audio, see you later. See you in a couple of weeks. Monday's at 5.30 here on YouTube Live. Love you guys and everybody on YouTube Live. Stay tuned and we will hand out a link in just a second. Bye, guys.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Yeah, he was really hot. And married, of course, you know, so I shaved my nuts for nothing. But I was like, hey, he asked me what I did. So I told him and he's like, oh, those housewives shows, eh? He was from Minnesota. He's like, those housewives shows, eh? Oh, my wife loves those, you know? So I watch them all because I watch them with my wife. And I said, really?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Yes, we can-a, it's Sedana.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
And I said, you're a good husband. You know, we meet a lot of housewives husbands, like housewives watchers husbands in our line. And you're always the most supportive husband. He goes, well, to be truthful with you, I'm mostly watching for myself. You know what I love? The fashions. I just love the fashions.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
This guy. So I was like, okay, well, tell your wife to listen. And then when he walked out the door, I was like, well, maybe not this week. Cause I think I've spent the week talking about wanting to fuck you. But anyway, great job TaskRabbit. So it's nice to know there's some handyman out there really enjoying the fashions.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
And he goes, you know, I got to work a lot of extra shifts cause she loves those fashions so much. So, you know, handyman's wife out there buying her fake CCs to put on her shirt. I loved that.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Okay. So something else fun that happened was Anna Marie's still spouting off all over the internet because this time she had a reason because Garcelle, when they went to that caviar party on Beverly Hills, saw a woman named Annemarie's place card and said, Oh God, I hope it's not the other one. And so Anna Marie, of course. had to make herself known. And she said, wow, surprise.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
She hasn't left the country yet, which I guess because Trump won or something. Is that what she means? I don't know. I don't know.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Yeah, she really is. And then another one was so she she's so jealous that I have everything in life that she doesn't. I live in her mind rent free.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
It truly does. Yeah, don't try it. And Garcelle responded with an Instagram story that said, not all skinfolk are kinfolk.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all the crap we love to talk about. On your bravs, this is Crappy Hour Live. I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben over there. Hi, Ben.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Yeah, go away, lady. I'm searching right now, Karen Huger jail, because I could have sworn I saw something today that was like, what it's like for Karen Huger in prison. Dun, dun, dun.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Yeah, she's probably in there like, can I have this slop without cream? I'm not eating dairy right now.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I mean, I feel like we're in a softer world, so maybe they would. Prison just ain't as hard as it used to be. I mean, now you can even have a job in prison.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
i refuse to see the new york strip please only bring me texas strip thank you um speaking of restaurants uh in trouble like the prison restaurant system for serving dirty bird uh levin lamar opened a new restaurant and it's called zachary daiquiris which already, first of all, can we just start with that? What'd you say?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I feel like even gay people have like straightened up beyond naming things Zachary's daiquiris. I mean, what the fuck is that? What the fuck kind of name is that? And do we need a daiquiri restaurant? I don't think we need a daiquiri. When was the last time you ordered a daiquiri or heard somebody order a daiquiri?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Well, now, you know, I'm part of the way with Leva. I never know where I am with Leva. Usually she makes me crazy because she comes on these shows and does nothing and, like, doesn't even want to be there and is continuously rewarded with shit, like her own show. So that kind of bugs me. But on the other hand, she believes in child labor. And, you know, I love child labor.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
And have you noticed on Southern Hospitality, there's an actual child that works there? Have you noticed that?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
It's like one of the DJs. No, it's actually a child. Like maybe a 12-year-old child.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Yeah. A young child. He was lighting the fireworks and carrying the ice and stuff like that. I don't think that's legal. But anyway, you know, who cares? I love child labor. Keep them out of the streets. But so I don't really know where she is. I didn't like her last week. This week I found out she believes in child labor. So I liked her. But then this story came out and I hate her again.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
So apparently, you know, there were rumors that this was happening at her other clubs. I've been reading these rumors on Reddit for a long time. But this is a review that was left after the opening. We came as part of the opening night event, and we were very excited to try this new restaurant bar out. But unfortunately, we will not be returning.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
After we got our drinks and sat at a table outside, the bouncer came out and stood directly next to a group of black men and informed the line that there was now a new dress code that prohibited ripped jeans, athletic wear, and Jordans, which all of the men were wearing.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
After seeing the outfits that were allowed in previously, it was obvious that there was no dress code, but this was a move made to prohibit certain groups of people into the restaurant. We confronted the bouncer who made the comment, and we were told that it was a comment from management. Very disappointing. And then a bunch of comments kind of jumping on that one.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I've heard that they do that at her other clubs and are discriminatory. So that sucks to hear. So fuck off. If that's true.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
And we are going to have some rough trade coming in to Zachary's daiquiris. We really need you on the lookout. I mean, what the hell? What a world. My God. So in the same city, at least it's in the same city, we have some Thomas Ravenel stuff going on. So last week, Thomas tweeted, drunkily, probably coquily, who knows?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
He said, I'm not sure, Mayor Hands, Mayor Hands, but fairly 90% sure that Whitney has had sex with every single girl that's on Southern Charm. I mean, he makes Weinstein look like Jesus Christ. Also a successful producer. And he says, Whitney is right now begging me to take this down because he knows it's going to fuck his whore of a mother. And he's nothing but a total piece of shit.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I did not watch the Oscars because I'm just becoming that old man who's like, who are these people? What are these movies?
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
i just didn't want to read it so um now that i hear that it's just petty um now i'm like oh wow okay so i read it i read it every day because it's on my fridge i printed it up where all of thomas's tweets go uh big brutus in the comments said this is why the democrats lost oh okay uh well you guys are doing a bang up job big brutus so thanks for everything you give us
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
Okay, so then Thomas Ravenel came out with another tweet that says, I just had a... Because this is what Thomas does. He goes and slams your ass all over the internet, and then he sobers up the next day and is like, well, on second thought...
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
I just had a long conversation with Patricia Alstool and her son, Whitney Sudler-Smith, and we took a deep dive into what happened over the past seven years. She basically confirmed what I intuitively knew all along, that she was always my friend, and I hereby want to publicly apologize to her for the mean things that I said about her. I extend this apology to Whitney as well.
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#2749 Crappy Hour 3/3/35: Venita’s Does Timelines, Karen Huger Does Time
He's always been a dear friend, especially after the death of my father. I was touching.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And here we are with some Southern Hospital. We did not, we're doing this a little late because we guested on a show yesterday. So it kind of took our time for this, but we did not forget our little Southern Hospitality. I just tried to put Charleston up in the background. It's so busy that I, I'm just, Oh, I have another one under there that I got.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
So Maddie comes and she's like, ever since Vegas, I feel like Joe's like hitting fast forward. Like now he wants to get married. Like now he thinks we're good. I just wish I had like a remote control and I could press mute or like pause or like end series. I mean, I don't know anything, like anything on the remote control other than play.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
She's like, yeah, it's going to be like a prom, but it's going to be like adult themed, which sounds like a porn site, but it's not a porn site. Not that I would know. I don't look at porn either, does Will. Like, if Will looked at porn, that would be like so traitorous, which he would never do to me. He would never do that, you guys. Are you suggesting that Will looks at porn?
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Because that's bullshit, okay? Now, if anyone wants to figure out who they're going to ask their dates, you know, you got to ask your dates. Like, make it cute, you guys. Like, ask them in a really, really cute way.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Hello, who are you talking to? No, I did not go to the prom.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
The only lesbian I knew in town was my aunt Josie who ran the bowling alley and my dad's property management company. And she would walk around with this gigantic chain of keys on her polyester suit pants. And she had like a big gray fro and she wasn't asking anybody to prom. I'll tell you that much. So no, there was no problem for me.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
She's like, get over here. I'm going to show you what fucking prom it is. But no, I didn't go to the prom. But yeah, I do think that people asked each other in creative ways to go to prom. I just never liked it. I just feel like it's so ridiculous. I was like, that is so heteronormative, even though I'm not gay and I don't know what heteronormative means. But I was like, gross.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Nights in white satin? No. How about Ronnie's in bed watching Fox Free Runs? That was our theme. Nights in white satin. No, my favorite movie back then was Carrie, you know, except I felt like I would have been the one covered in blood, but it would have been awesome to make everything fly around and hit people.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
We're trying to change our background picture for all this stuff today. And, um, just for fun, just, you know, it was underwater when it started because we had done a blow deck beforehand.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
No, but you told me the ending and yesterday's recap. So thanks. What did I say?
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
I'm not repeating it because I said, well, somebody else.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
You did. It spoiled. It's dead to me. I'm never watching that movie again. So then we go to, we go back and Emmy's like, okay, get creative about how you're going to ask your date. I'm going to write, will you go to prom with me and mascara all over my face? But it's not really going to be big letters until I start crying. It's going to work. Can I just fucking win? Can I just fucking win?
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
So Molly's like, why are we celebrating this man's accomplishments? Give me a fucking break. And like, it's like, yeah, like if prom is like as fancy as like he says it is, then like she should hire a bathroom attendant and maybe some spies for Will.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Michael's comes in and he's like, hey, everybody, everybody looks so pretty. We have a big party coming in tonight. It's Joe Bradley's friend. So watch out because, you know, this is going to be douchey. Let's all get on the floor. OK, wear gloves, wear gloves if you got them. The rubber, the better.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
He's cool. Yeah. Welcome legends. So they all go in and they're like half hot. I mean, I could use a lawyer. So I didn't go to prom. So then we go to, we see Allie is there too. And she's really pretty. And that's Austin's girlfriend. So of course, TJ is just behind the bar, like shifty eyes, like, hmm. So, I see that someone has a girlfriend here. Interesting. A girlfriend.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
He's vacuuming the top of the bar.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Hmm, hmm. And let me add to that, huh, hmm, hmm.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
so the producer asks emmy if she's met ally and she's like um well um well yeah her and my mom have been bible study friends like for years so yeah we know each other and so she hugs her and she's like good to see you babe good to see you and now he's like you too you too we just cut to tj's eyes like So then in the kitchen, Joe's like, okay, guys, it's our last big table.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
So we need like all the girls in here. Like I want all the girls in here. It's like big. It's like lawyer big. Okay. Those are like icons. Those are legends out there. Not the gateway. They're not like mother icons. They're like legend icons. All right. They're the men. They're the men.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
He's like, well, the highest spending table is like $3,000. And like, they need the most servers. That's how Joe, we are giving you a 12 year old to go to their table. 12 year old say hello.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
It's just like this little baby that they've had to work at this place. I love it. They got him out of the old Navy factory and shipped him to this restaurant for a night job. He's just like sparklers.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Well, that's good. That one's fine. Okay. So here we are in Charleston. We get overhead shots, we get the Riven Owl Bridge, and we get a song that nobody is singing on this show, which is, all alone, cause I'm better off without you. It's like the anti-Emmy song. No one's singing that song on here.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
So then- Siobhan is out there on the floor like Leah's per request, okay? Sorry she can't be back here catering to you and cut to Leah out there like, that's right, one on the floor or one out the door. Do you understand what I'm saying?
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And he's like, yeah, Leah would be like, hell yeah, like get all the service back at the table. She'd be like, absolutely.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Joe, I don't know why you're so mad. I sent Chloris Leachman out there and we caught Chloris Leachman saying, hey boy, it's the lawyers, huh? So will you take care of elderly people getting abused? We're in accidents, fall down at work. What kind of lawyers are you? There's many different flavors.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And Michael sees him and he's like, what's going on here? Why are we fighting at work? Like, Leah's CEO is over there. I don't need the king and queen of Republic fighting on the floor. You know what I mean? Like, Leah is here. Do you not see Leah? She is currently doing a line of coke off Cloris Leachman's ass, which is probably not...
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Probably not by the rules, but anyway, can we just concentrate?
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Everybody's terrified of being alone, so they're just going to be with someone they're not right with. What the hell? Where's that song, Trixie? How about, I'm settled, settled, settling, like the forefathers of Charleston. That's it.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Yeah, he's like, so have you talked to mom? He's like, no. And he's like, yeah, you haven't talked to her. And he's like, no, he goes, you haven't called her. And he goes, she's called me, but I don't ever call back. So apparently this lady is just a terror to everybody. He's like, no, no, I'm not calling her. So then he tells us basically how his mom found out he was gay.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And it's because she went through his phone and found an Instagram DM between DM thread between him and this guy.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
uh saying i love you and she wouldn't speak to him for a week and then she never would talk about it after and so um rive tells michaels like only pers you know only pursue men for you don't try and find someone to please your mom because nothing is going to please your mom so don't don't even try that okay so michaels is like thank you for the support here's a picture of preston and and his dad is like okay oh whoa okay i mean yes i fully support you i fully support you
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Just like Leva says every time they ask her to shoot a scene on the show. She's like... Hi, Joe. What's going on? He's like, not much. It's been a really good summer. Like, I got extra help from my staff because, like, Maddie's helped me a lot with that. You know, Maddie's helped me a lot. You know, because my wife. It's, like, really good to be paired up with someone who's so helpful.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Yeah. You know, like Joe, like your career is going to a certain place. Like me and Lamar, like we both know if the ice machine's broken, like you're always there to kick it and make it work again. So I just really need you to think about that. He's like, um, I don't like Maddie being alone. So that's like really rough.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
He got a taste of like Benson and Hedges menthol breath life. He knows. He knows what it could be. And he's like, I just want to build, like, something Maddie could be, like, you know, like, impressed by. You know, I want her to, like, hype me up, you know? Like, the other day I carried an ice. She didn't say anything. How do you think that makes me feel?
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Hey, that's terrible though. All the kill shelters are even having to kill now. I mean, my God, you know, non-kill shelters. Yeah. Yeah. The non-kill shelters are, are not, are having to kill now. That's crazy.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Uh, so they, you know, there's cats every place, which I don't know. Sounds bad for a restaurant. A lot of people are allergic to cats. I don't think you want cat dander everywhere in Europe, but whatever. It's not like it's a sparkling clean place to begin with, but no cat shame. But, you know, damn. So Michaels comes and he's like, oh, my God, I can get my face painted like a cat.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Yeah. I mean, look back off. This is her fucking business. Everyone has the right to come out how they want to come out. I don't like, I mean, I get that he's just trying to be helpful and being like, you'll feel better once you've actually, you're living your truth, but that's up to her. Yep.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
It's like the one minute your mom would be happy. You're covered in pussy.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And now Grace and her mom, Tracy, are there.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
I mean, you know, like for me, I have to think beyond relationships, which is why I started a hot dog company because I used to call my ex-boyfriends Sir Wiener. I used to call his penis Sir Wieners. I'm realizing how fucked up this sounds actually now. Hey, at least I'm almost paid off.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
So Maddie and Mia are going to Goss at the nail salon. And they're talking about how much fun they had together in Vegas. I mean, it's like, yeah, but actually, like, I worry for you when you do get married and Grace Lilly is invited to the actual wedding. And then we get a flashback to Grace Lilly just like... like sobbing in the fake wedding.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And we are reminded of the kidnapped cat storyline where she kidnapped a cat from her ex-boyfriend. And I guess he got that cat back. I guess so.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And she's like, I haven't seen you at your best lately, Grace Lilly.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
I still get sick every time I smell day-old milk.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
So they hug and make up. And then... now uh michaels is sitting with lake and uh petting kittens and stuff and he's like you seem low energy it's like uh yeah you you're saying that i know michaels michaels michaels who came very close to being unmonotone once uh you're very low energy just like yeah that if frito calling a leg corny
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And Maddie's like, I am actually exhausted by that girl. Like I'm like literally exhausted by her.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And he's like, well, even if you don't have a conversation now, your family will come around if you do have it in the future. She's like, yeah, I'm going to have a conversation with my family when they're dead and I have my money on my inheritance. How about that? How about grandma can get a conversation when I'm spending her money and she's in the grave? Thanks.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
So then we go over to Austin's house and he's having date night with Allie. And he's like, yeah, this relationship has started again. I'm like, so happy to have her back. Cause like I made some mistakes, you know, uh, like I, I said mean things. Yeah. Actually I'd like lied about a few things. So tell me just to get an emotional rise. Yeah.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
It's weird because there's so many stories there. You know what I mean? Like, what do you mean you lied? So are you saying that you, I'm getting like you cheated on her, but then you said, no, I was just saying I cheated on you to get a rise out of you. I don't know what his deal is, but he's a fucking weirdo and I can't wait to find out.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Cause I refuse to accept that you're asking, but I don't know how to set my limitations. Yeah. So it's a prom invite. So the most, look, I think this is real love because they're eating carbs in front of each other. So to gay people, that's like marriage. So then we go to the Republic patio and TJ has his Sir Wieners stand up and he's making hot dogs.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And then we see- No, it's not time for that, ma'am. Stop bringing in, letting go of Grace Lilly. Don't get Grace Lilly kicked off of this show. Excuse me, Mia. I like you, but no. Back. Yeah. Back down.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And Mia comes in to visit and he's like, yeah, after the success of lunch, like I get to come here like once a month. It's amazing.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And Mia says, I mean, if there were rumors circulating that my boyfriend cheated, I would not be throwing him prom. I'd be throwing him a left hook. That's right. I'm back, bitch. So then Mia and TJ are talking about Emmy and he's like, well, she's been like blowing me up the past few weeks. I mean, like she wants to hang out and. Taylor told me that she said bad stuff, so I'm not really sure.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
She'll text me nonstop if I don't text her back right away. I'm not a peep from Will. Not a peep. I can't understand because we're such good friends, as you'll see in the next two minutes in the next scene when I try and reignite his cheating rumors again. Yet again.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
So then everybody's like, wow, Will's putting effort into this relationship? What the hell? And TJ's like, I mean, he could have just showed up with like roses and she would have said yes.
Watch What Crappens
#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?
Watch What Crappens
#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
He's going to run barefoot, which is like, he's like, yeah, you can be like really close to the earth by running barefoot.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
He does it and he runs it. He's like, it's like soul fulfilling. Um, yeah, just what Buddha wanted running over dirty needles and, you know, condoms. Sounds great. So, um, after we're really here to talk shit, of course. Right. So TJ Austin and Brad sit down and they're like, um, let's talk about prom. Okay. Um, so are you going to bring Allie and make out with her in the bathroom?
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And Brad's like, I thought that was just a will thing. Yeah.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Yeah, it's weird. It's like being confronted by 20 people is different than being confronted privately by one person. I wonder why that is. So then we go back to the golfing and Will's like, should we get our balls out? And Brad's like, that's a different kind of party, Will. Hey, I'm more Tiger Hood than Tiger Woods.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Let's get him, everybody. I'm going to find out who this girl is. I can't just sit on this. I know I'm not going to know how this is going to end until I end it. I'm getting it. Jeez. What the hell? Just a minute ago, you're like, why won't Will be my friend? And now you're like, I'm going to ruin his fucking life.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being with us today. We will see you tomorrow.
Watch What Crappens
#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Bye. Bye. Watch what crap ends. Would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley auto.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Catherine DiBernardo has our heart-o.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Jamie, she has no less name-y. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
She sure is swell, it's Raquel.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. The Bay Area Betches, Betches.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. She's got a leg up. It's Beth Ani.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
who what why where and gwen pentland it's our queen it's queen la ifa nobody holds a candle to jamie kendall know your worth with jason kerr we got our wish it's jen plish she's not harsh she's jill hirsch she's a little bit loony junie my favorite murdo karen mcmurdo she gets an a it's kelly b we love him madly it's kyle pod shadley We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lola Alcalani.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Give them hell, Miss Noelle. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Yeah, but with highlighters. So I'm pretty busy.
Watch What Crappens
#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
So back to the nail salon, they're talking about Maddie's DJ life. And she's like, I just came back from Miami. It was like crazy. And Joe didn't come because he was at a wedding. And so Mia's like, are you really going to marry Joe? And she's like, well, we talked about it, but like, I'm just like trying to kind of pump the brakes on his Uber. You know, it's like, just pump it.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And then we go back to the golf course and they're giving Joe shit about, you know, being fake married. And he's like, we're good. It's just like, you know, like I'm at the point where like I live with Maddie at like six out of seven of the days now. And like, I have to go to Daniel Island and it's like starting to like take a toll on me.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
You know, like I love the girl she's living with to death, but like, it's like super, I could have a Lamborghini. Like for all that I spent on Ubers. And it's like, it's just like ridiculous. Like I'm just thinking like if I lived with my boys 30 minutes away, like how many nights a week would she come spend the night at my house?
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
I wish she lived there. I wish that waitress lived in the house. That would make it 10 times more interesting. I know. Hey, hey, it's you, honey. All right, come on in here. You're just waiting here. It's the lobby. It's really the living room. Isn't that funny?
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Broths. I'm Ronnie, and with me is the gorgeous and talented Mr. Ben Bantleker. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. If you've been working out, I can tell this part of your... Neck is very strong right now.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
I just call it the lobby. Oh, what you doing today, toots? Hey, Matty, your piece of meat is here.
Watch What Crappens
#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Hey, we're making tattoos with toothpicks and food dye. What do you want me to make on you?
Watch What Crappens
#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And so then we go back to the nail salon and Maddie's like, I mean, he's like ready to buy a house together. And I'm just like, whoa, like, whoa, this is moving too fast, you know? And then I'm like looking at houses and he's like, but if we go in on that together and he is just like, no, no, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Don't ever depend on a man. And she's like, exactly.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Cause like, he could like fuck you over or leave you like at any moment. You know what I mean? I mean, you know, the last time I was able to ride a bike attached to like, a box with wheels on it. Like it's really hard. It's really been hard.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
It's like really hard. Um, and she's like, wait, are you taking him on the road? And she's like, oh my God. Well, um, there's definitely going to be times where like, um, he's going to have to like hang back, you know?
Watch What Crappens
#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
So Joe's like, well, I don't want to say that like, uh, Maddie's like being selfish. Cause like, I just think she's like, she doesn't know she's being, she's like being selfish, but like, she doesn't know about it. So it's like secret selfish. She's like a secret selfish. And Brad's like, uh, maybe you could meet in the middle.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
You know, maybe if you go to Daniel Island, then she could spend three days downtown or something. She doesn't want to, she doesn't want to stay in Joe's apartment downtown. She wants to go home.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Also, I don't think that Joe, I don't think it's the driving. I think they're missing the point. Joe doesn't like going out there because she's with five other girls. He doesn't like sharing her with all the people in the apartment, you know?
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Okay. But I think the deeper issue here is that she doesn't really want to be with him online. She'd rather like go hang out with his girlfriend or her girlfriends.
Watch What Crappens
#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Yeah. So then they're like, so how are you and Emmy doing well? And he's like, it has not been an easy summer. And then we just see a flashback of Emmy being like, can I ever win?
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Well, Ben's getting his tour body ready because we're on tour. We're going. Next month, well, this month, because it's March now. So we're going to be traveling like in a week or so. We're going to Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, Philadelphia, Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, and Las Vegas.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
And they're like, so do you actually want the housewife life? He's like, yeah, because she's good at, I don't know, taking out trash and making charcuterie boards and cleaning my underwear and stuff like that. She'll come to law school and do my laundry. So yeah, why wouldn't I want to marry her? I mean, yeah, fuck yeah.
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
You know a woman who's stuck in the laundry room can never catch you cheating.
Watch What Crappens
#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
so romantic and rad's like so you're gonna pay her back by marrying her and she he's like yeah because you know like having a life together being like all work and cheat you run logistics of our thing and pretend i'm not cheating you know it's like it's just it sounds good you know she'll be like a car and i'll pump it full of fuel and then i'll rent other cars and pump those as well but she won't really care because it doesn't affect her mileage you know what i mean
Watch What Crappens
#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
So Brad's like, yeah, we're not talking about a car. This is your girlfriend. And I like that all the relationships on this show so far are just brought down to car analogies. And just like, what is this, a business deal?
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#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
like what happened to vicky you know the robot when she grew up and it's this she just wants that you know she just wants to be like welcome home honey i made charcuterie this time there is prosciutto from terrace eaters and a larger question whatever happened to vicky um lawrence or lewis all the vickies where are they i was gonna say i think vicky lawrence is doing a one-woman show called like mama and friends is she but the other one i don't know
Watch What Crappens
#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
Get tickets for all of our live shows over at watchwhatcrappens.com. We announced what we're covering about a week before over on our Instagram. And you can get videos of all of our recaps, except live shows, but all the other recaps and traders recaps over on our Patreon. You can also find links to those on watchwhatcrappens.com. So what do you think about that?
Watch What Crappens
#2748 Southern Hospitality S03E09: Kitty Cornered
According to Ticketmaster, she has a show called Vicki Lawrence and Mama.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
We go back to Augusta and we go to the restaurant Luigi's. Luigi's is an establishment in Augusta. And I've been coming here since I was a little girl. It's family owned. I think it's three generations. Let's take a look at Penelope. Penelope, get your close up. Penelope's like, hi, I'm Penelope from Luigi's.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
So it's listen, if anyone can relate to a haunted castle, it's me. You've seen that old bag of bones trying to suck you into a vacuum cleaner and spit you back out.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
So they order and then Sutton's like, well, I'll try the spanakopita. Y'all like that? They're like, what's that? Neither one of them have ever heard of spanakopita. I can't believe it. You know what, L.A. people, we need to do better because we're just embarrassing at this point. Like, come on.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
Do I ever invite them to the Elton John Oscars party? No, I don't. But you know what? Maybe one day I'll see him at Giorgio's somewhere. Is that where we're eating Italian food? I don't know. It's not Chuck E. Cheese. Sorry, it's not glamorous as Chuck E. Cheese, but we do what we can in Augusta, which I love.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
And I love that they're all going to pretend to be mad at this. It's very funny to me. And Sutton's like, well, you know, Erica and I are push and pull sometimes. And this is very emotional for me. And hence, I don't need to slut here for my mom to judge. I'm enough. Okay, I've given her enough fodder for one day.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
And they're like, I'm sorry. Come again? What? Bo's just laughs and she's like, girl, no. Just no.
Watch What Crappens
#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
So she's like, oh, thank you for having us over. This is much better than Augusta. And then we cut to the other group of women who are also cheersing. And they're thanking Sutton for bringing them to this hellhole that serves things that nobody can pronounce. And so Garcelle's like, so how are you feeling? You haven't cried yet. Are you waiting for the spanakopita?
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
And she's like, well, you know, the reboot of it all. You know, that's what's going on with me. She's my mother. And I love her. But she's tough. She's a tough cookie, you know? And you know what you do with tough cookies? You put them in milk until they soften up. I tried that with her. She almost drowned. Never softened. It's a sad day.
Watch What Crappens
#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
You know, she drives around with one of those bumper stickers that says, stop elder abuse right now. I said, I was just trying to soften my cookie, mother. Just talk about something else.
Watch What Crappens
#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
Oh, okay. Well, I've only met a glimpse of Reba, but seeing her, wow. One, I think she was tough on you, you know, because that's who she is. Let's face it. Not that she was targeting you or anything like she was targeting me. But I just think that that's her way. And sometimes I can see you being like that in a way. Oh, my God.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
I can't believe she got away with this because Sutton just Sutton's eyes turned into those lasers. Like she's like, should I scream at Garcelle? I need an ally. I need an ally. I need someone to hide behind when I call my mom a bitch. So, yes, save it.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
It's like I told Kyle when she got bangs. You don't want regrets, Kyle. No. She didn't listen to me. Now look at her. She's still trying to outrun them. And Kyle's like, yeah, well, I remember when you opened your store, you had a conversation with your mom. Do you remember that? Roll the clip. Because I don't really remember. I don't remember anything. Roll the clip. So they do.
Watch What Crappens
#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
And it's when she's like... Mama, I've spent a lot of money. I've spent a lot of time. All my heart is in this store and it's important for me that you take it seriously. And Reba's like, okay, shall we move on?
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
OK, you know, do you deserve it? Yes, you can. But you can't change a clock. You know what I get? You can't change a clock.
Watch What Crappens
#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
That was a bad that was a bad one. You can't make a baby not poop.
Watch What Crappens
#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
every time you're trying to change it okay that's just how babies are like what are you gonna do she's a very old baby and also sutton kind of answers her question later in the episode when she says really the only reason that she cares so much about christian is because of the lifestyle and the money and now she sees you spending all this money that chris that you've got basically from being married to christian and i'm not saying you don't deserve that money but in your mom's mind
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
She's thinking, oh, here she's taking all this money that she could be using to make sure that I'm going to be okay. And she's spending it all on this exorbitant rent in West Hollywood on this stupid store.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
It came out of her eyes, that's for sure.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
And Sutton's like, well, it was about her. It wasn't about me. Who's going to pay for me? It was about who's going to pay for her bills. And she says, yeah, she was so nervous I wasn't going to have enough money to help support her lifestyle. That was very clear. I said, Mama, you need $5 a week to get your damn hair done, okay? You're wearing the same Moo Moo from 1937, okay?
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
She was like lasering microaggression all over the place. I mean, if you could pantomime microaggressions, this woman's the Marcel Marceau of Augustine microaggressions.
Watch What Crappens
#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
It's not like it takes that much. I can handle it. Porter can handle it. For Christ's sake, could you just support my store?
Watch What Crappens
#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
No. Well, I think watching my mother for years give Christian so much praise. Meanwhile, I'm raising these three beautiful children. There's no setting. Good for you. So then we see the picture of the kids and she's like, you know, I just want acknowledgement from my mom, which I, you know, you know, I feel for her on that one.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
And Garcelle's like, well, I would love to have a conversation with Reba. And Kyle's like, um, what would you say to Reba? And they haven't even shown Kyle on the scene. Have you noticed? Yeah.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
when they cut to carl carl's there i'd love it because kyle is completely a curious about anyone else so the fact that they're talking about like sutton's issues with her mom kyle's just like doing selfies on the side but they're also not really talking to kyle they're just talking to each other it's like someone made that ring kyle and um garcelle says well pretty much that i've gotten to know you very well and you shared things with me and maybe see how we can bridge the gap a little bit here
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
And Kyle's like, um, I appreciate her optimism, but getting in the middle of a relationship that is so complex. Not that I've asked everybody to get in the middle of me and my sister's relationships for decades now. But still, like, that's presumptuous.
Watch What Crappens
#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
Thank you for having me over. Here's a question I've had for you. Your sister's a real bitch.
Watch What Crappens
#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
Well, I don't even know what's going on in Kyle's life. Does he open up a lot about what's going on to you, Kitty? Does he? Well, I don't know. I don't really listen too much when she's on the phone. I see Kyle's calling and I just start looking for that baby spoon that I lost about 13 years ago. I swear Carol stole it.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
But anyway, you know, I just try and be careful not to bother her because she's Kyle. And when she's going through something in life and she's just being traumatized, you know, not only did Mauricio leave her or she left Mauricio, I'm not really sure, but Jamie Lee Curtis isn't returning her calls, ladies.
Watch What Crappens
#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
Yeah, you have to put up with your mother. I don't.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
Half different parents. And Carl doesn't have any Chinese heritage. I learned in Venice. So don't expect any sage wisdom from her. Okay. There's nothing going to be coming. Speaking of, where is the sage Muhammad? God damn it. I'm really fucking this up.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
This scene was so good. This was such a good episode, really. I loved this episode. I was laughing so much. And Dorit just stares at her and Eric is like, his name is PK. She goes, well, PK, PJ, old pasty white guy. No one wants to see him in a swimsuit. You know what I meant.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
No, Reba. Next time I meet your mother, could it be at the top of a flight of stairs? Thank you.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
So Dorit's like, well, when Peaky and I decided to see Parata, we decided to take some time apart. We were going to work on resentments and issues that we have that have built up. But I was very protective of my husband.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
And so we see flashbacks of Garcelle being like, well, I heard about Piquet's D.Y. She goes, a legion, D.Y., a legion. He never blew. He didn't blow. And then when he went to the prison, he blew and he was under the legal limit.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
The only time I got him to even hold the children was when I said that their names were baked in potato.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
very very sad he disappears he's gone for weeks and weeks without even cooling the kids this guy's such a piece of shit like seriously and even to ask like oh he's a good father right no he's not a good father he's not even there he doesn't even try to be there and he doesn't even have any reason he's just being a fucking asshole you know yeah he's yeah one he'll leave another and now he'll go find some youngin to get with and have another family with them and then leave their asses too this guy's a piece of shit and guess what he's never gonna have money either he's gonna keep pissing that away too this guy sucks
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
so uh because they show up at this house it's enormous and it's very southern it's like got the columns and the manicured lawns and the you know probably mosquitoes the size of little dogs ready to suck the life out of you
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
It was funny. And she's like, well, you know, I mean, the more I get to know him and then he lost weight. I mean, oh, I feel terrible.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
Yeah, we know it. When your husband all of a sudden just starts going to the gym, no reason, just starts going to the gym and getting himself in shape, you better start putting the Apple iFriends on his ass. Find my friends or whatever the hell. Put an AirTag. Find my Fritos. So Bose is like... I keep losing AirTags, babe. Could you keep putting them in chips, PK?
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
Do you remember when you followed one all the way down the sewer line?
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
So he wrote her the seven page email saying that in a month or two, she's responsible for the mortgage and all the expenses associated with the house, which is crazy. And they don't even own that house is owned by like finance. It's owned by like a partnership LLC, you know, with a bunch of different partners, like all of their homes have been.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
But he's expecting her to pay the entire mortgage on this. I mean, this guy's just such a piece of shit. So Erica's like, get a fucking lawyer. And she's like, well, there was also threats of custody. Are you sure it didn't say custody? Because he doesn't want custody. Stop it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
So they go in. And so it's like, oh, come on, guys. It's not that big. It's just 4,500 square feet. Come on, give it a break.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
And so they check out the house, and there's these huge, I mean, just gorgeously done roofs. Now, I will say the furnishings and all that other stuff are not great, this house. I mean, I think it needs a little work on the interior. What do you think?
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
Yeah, I need some more fanciness in the furnishings. I'll say that. But I loved all the paneling and all. I mean, it's a pretty house. Okay, so they look at their rooms and stuff. And then Kyle is looking at pictures and saying who people are, you know. And then we see John Clark and his wife, Ashley. He's the brother. And then we see Sutton and all her children when they were young.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
And she's like, do you want to see some good ones? Here's some good pictures of Reba. And they're like, why do you have... prison bars in front of her face. Oh, I added those in Photoshop later. They just make me feel better. Like one day mama's going to meet her karma, you know?
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
Like the editors were like, insinuate that Reba's a dirty, rotten whore in the...
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
so good to see you wonderful how do you do nice to see you wonderful to be here aren't you gorgeous and the mom's just like uh-huh and then she sees kyle and she's like oh well aren't you pretty why didn't she say that to me yo everybody's like this is jim my friend from savannah he's got a dick the size of three clown feet oh mother on television
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
His name is Jim, but we call him Jimmy Dean because he's got a sausage down the front of his pants.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
So here we are in Augusta. So they drive up, they drive to Sutton's house and she's like, I just left. Augusta, Georgia. It's where I grew up. And of course, it's also where I learned the art of ballet. Let's get some pictures of that. Okay, great. Thank you. And I have all my childhood friends and they're still my friends for life. They're still my friends for life.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
I don't just open things that random people tell me to open. You got to tell me what it is or am I going to have to electrocute it out of you, Jim?
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
So Garcelle's like, well, why would I tell you what the gift is? She goes, why are you laughing? What is it? Is it a trick? Is it a snake in a box? Is it a lizard? I swear to God, I saw one of those on the patio the other day and I said, Sutton, I told you to moisturize.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
And Sutton's just embarrassed. She's like, I took the time. I went to Saks. I picked out a gift. I had it wrapped.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
I've not been recording this whole time. I hope you're recording. Did you? I am recording. Okay. I did. Lord. So if I sound shitty today or shittier than usual, that's why it's just been dealing with this episode.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
So they go look at the backyard and it's enormous and gorgeous. And then there's like a little servant's quarters in the back. Well, it's an enormous servant's quarters. It's bigger than my house, but it's huge. And that's where Miss Reba lives.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
And she's like, well, you know, after Sutton left town, she needed some place to come back for her, you know, Christian and the children, especially Christian. So we decided I should live on the property as well. When she asked me, she said, mama, I would just like to know where you are at all times. So it's just easier to burn your house down if it's on the same property.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
I'm sorry. Is this a gender free scarf? You know, her mom's over five. And that's probably also one of the reasons she doesn't like Sutton's store is because Sutton has a lot of non-gender. What do you call that? Non-binary. Yes, non-binary. Thank you. Non-gendered clothing. But you know what I mean. Non-binary clothing and stuff like that's kind of her niche, I think, right?
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
And so the mom's probably like, disgusting. So Garcelle tries again. And she's like, oh, well, Reba, I love your grandchildren. Very smart, very sweet kids. And she goes, they are smart. James is kind of weird. And they start cracking up. And Garcelle just goes, well, I got a weird one, too. And she goes, yeah, I know. I've seen him.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
So we see a lot of pictures of her hurt too and re-beholding her. And I can tell you right now, that is some evil Meemaw hair. And I think they all had it back then because my Meemaw had it too. And that woman was a terrorist. She was terrifying. She was a very sweet lady, but especially in the younger years, she could be terrifying. Oh, my God.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
Fucking evil old lady. God, the only thing this house is missing is a pool to drown your ass in.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
The first one that hasn't been bullied. And of course he's going to be bullied anyway by Reba. And Kyle's like, well, I mean, I feel like I'm supposed to say I have a weird one too, because like everyone else does. I mean, I mean, I'm not going to, but I mean, I guess I'm supposed to. Here's me, Kyle. Everybody's completely normal and popular.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
Well, the only reason she signed up for that was because she thought it was something called Instagram and it would be a bunch of other grannies. But fortunately, all she does is post on people's feeds. Your grandchildren are weird.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
You should have seen the face you're frozen in. You're like, that's not right. All right, let's go over to Kathy's Capri dinner. We see a table set with a lot of glassware and flatware, lemons everywhere. Yeah, this is very, just went to Italy for the first time.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
You've got Carol over there like, got it.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
And she's wearing her uniform, which is just a flowery dress with a sweater put over it. And I like to think it's like a waiter's uniform for Carol where she just dresses like this for work. And, you know, that sweater is all nasty and musty and smells like cigarettes. She don't give a shit. She has to wear it every time this old bag has a Capri dinner.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
You're not touching my kneecaps, goddammit. Put your kneecaps against mine. It's a full body hug. Kinkle to kinkle.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
Harder. And Dorit's like, darling. And so they hug, and then Erica comes, and she's like, hello, everybody.
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#2718 RHOBH S1410 Part Two: Shock and Augusta
um yeah well what are you gonna do fuck them uh so then we cut to the ladies in oh and kathy's also like well why am i not invited either so everyone's gonna pretend they're upset that they don't get to meet sutton's mother you don't even want to hang out with sudden you want to see the woman that made her jesus christ it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
My mother and I have sort of found ourselves in a bad place in the past 10 years. And then we see a picture of Sutton and Reba embracing. But then we see a flashback where she's crying and she's saying, I know my mother loves Christian. She says that, but does she love me? She loves Christian's money. You know, I love Christian's money. I don't even fucking know the guy and I choose him over you.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
I mean, what do you have? A cute dog. I take your dog. I take your dog. You've got Ari and an empty house. I will take Christian's money any damn day of the week. Okay. Shit. I'd take Christian's money over half the people I know.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Oh, no, no, no, sir. No, sir. That is your mother taking the side of the fucking man. Oh, hell no. I would.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
She's like. Hey, honey, you know what Sutton really should have done if she was smart and she really needed validation from her mother is just named the store Christian. Because then her mother would be like, oh, my God, Christian's doing so well. You know, Christian is such a success. And Sutton would be like, oh, my God, thank you so much, mother.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
I don't know because the mom seems attached to material things. So I think she would get a store, whereas the BravoCon thing I think would make her throw up. I think she's probably so mortified that her daughter is on The Real Housewives. That's probably true. She just seems like that kind of snob who's like, we are private people, Sutton. Private people. Private dancers. Dancers for money.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Do what you want me to do. Do what you want me to do. Yeah. I mean, you buy one plantation house for a woman and she's yours forever. Jesus Christ, Reba.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
So then Sutton's like, well, I'm going to see my mother. And I thought you might want to join us. And she's telling Kyle now. And Kyle's like, me? You want me to come? I'm going to come to this show. So I guess Kyle says, please, don't bring a dog.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Or her mother's just like, not that Jennifer girl. I swear to God if you bring that Jennifer girl.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Get that little mogul out of my house.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Something's like, it's so fun, Augusta. I mean, it's a special place. I even have a porch, so we can just sit on the porch and we can use the BB gun daddy bought me to shoot maids as they go home from work.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Yeah, there's nothing to eat there. I do like the El Paso, Texas. That's where I'm from, and I love their airport. It's small-ish. It's gotten a little bit bigger over the years, but they have a knife shop. There's tacos and knife shops.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
You can get your turquoise. You can get a knife. It's like 9-11 never happened.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Well, Garfield and Kyle, they're the perfect women to take with me because basically both of their mothers have passed. And I can say, well, what's worse? This one's still living. Sorry, that's so dark. But I did think that was a little odd.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
And actually, I didn't think of it until I read it in a comment on Reddit where they were like, she was like, why would they be the perfect ones to take when their mothers have both passed? It's just such an odd choice. You know what I mean? Because when you complain about your mother, and I've made this mistake before, because, you know, my mother and I complaining about each other is our pastime.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
That's just what we do. It's in our DNA. My grandmother was the same way. And that's just how we live. That's how we love.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
know we bet you about each other behind each other's back and to each other's face to be fair um but you're not supposed to do that in front of people who have lost their parents like it's so disrespectful and so it's weird that she's like you know what i'm gonna take two of the people who have suffered the worst loss that a child could suffer to meet my mother and let's see who's got it worse
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
I can kind of understand the Kyle choice because Kyle's mother was a battle ax, too, from everything that we've read about her. So it might be a fun competition to be like, well, my mother loves my husband more than me. And Kyle could be like, well, my mother loved Justine Bateman more than me. So who wins? Yeah. Well, my mother tried to poison one of my ex-boyfriends. Really?
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Because my mother fed nails to one of her ex-husbands to try and kill him.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
So let me show you one of these houses, how they were originally built. Kyle, you have the universal studios version of my house. That's because I was in Halloween. I'm a working actress. We didn't even have to pay anybody to build mine.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Yes, and then after that in March, we've got a crazy March for touring. We're going to be in Cincinnati, Ohio, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Toronto, Charlotte, North Carolina, Atlanta, Georgia, and Washington, D.C., and Philadelphia. So we've got a lot of dates coming up. Is that all in March?
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Let me tell you, I've known a lot of people who have met Reba, but there hadn't been one of them that didn't feel like Newman in Jurassic Park. when that woman met their gaze.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
And so we see fun times at the beach. And then we come back and Dorit's, we see the flashback of Dorit saying, this morning Jigar said, are you and daddy divorced? There's no sour cream and onion chips in the pantry. Does that mean daddy's not coming home? Because usually that's his bat signal that it's free to come home. He can smell them from London. It's crazy.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
So Dorit's like, well, you know, that day, so then, the way she came in, it was like so brutally, she just shut me down. But honestly, shut up sometimes. You know what I mean? I'm sorry. I'm Team Garcelle on this one. Just brevity. You know what I mean? Make it shorter, sister.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
So- You've got to ride to Ventura County to talk about Piquet, for Christ's sake. Do we have to do it during charcuterie?
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
When did I become the enemy? Oh, gosh. Two years ago? I think two years. I mean, it's been like two years that he's hated her, right?
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Well, listen, here's my concern. You need to be prepared because his return from London, it could go left. It could go right. It could go up. It could go down. You know what I mean? That's what we say in business.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
So then we go to Bose and Keeley arriving at Boulevard Steakhouse, or as I like to call it, Boulevard. And so they're going to have some dinner. And this is her date, Keely. Now, I do not get the best vibes from this guy. Like, look, want Bose to be happy? This is not the guy for you. I hate his shirt. Let's just start with the shirt. Hate it. Cheetah. Cheetah print. Nope.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
um i hate his whole tacky cheesy vibe with her i hate that he wants her to have three children at 48 that's crazy sir okay yeah um also you're old too just stop it al pacino nobody wants your babies running around this old and no offense because people can have babies that age i know that and good for you but just dating someone and being like here's what i expect from you three children have fun no
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
I think he said he wants three children. Yeah, that's in my memory. He wanted three. Well, he better hurry up.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
She's like, all right, we need to have some conversations. It feels like we're hurdling some things, you know, if we go all the way to fertility. And he's like, well, when did you at what point did you feel I was wasting your time? Because I'm not going to say I'm going to waste your time. I'm not saying that. And she's like, and I guess, do you feel that there's a timeline?
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
She's like, well, I mean, I'm 47. Where are the eggs? They're getting older. I have old eggs and babies don't grow on trees. Got to get moving. All right.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
No kidding. Like, shit her, get off the pot. You know what I mean? And she's basically telling him that. She's like, if you want babies, we've got to get married first. So what's up? And he's like, oh, thanks so much for not pressuring me. This dinner is over. Bye.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
I mean, I really like her. I think she's wasting her time with this fucking loser. I get, I get very clear loser vibes from this guy.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Yeah, and you know, there should be certain laws, like we know that there are laws regarding guns, and there should be a special law to not be able to have a gun when there could possibly be a Kim around the house. That's it.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
That's where it is, as well as the videos, which we are on today. OK, let's get on to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We open this very special episode, season 15, episode 10. It's called Sweet Home Augusta. And we see a clip. It's a black and white clip, which actually PK's face makes a lot more sense in black and white, doesn't it?
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Also, this is such a Kyle scene because she's like, look at me. First of all, she's having some weird scene where she's kind of flirting with Mo. It's like this, like, Poor me. Mo doesn't like me anymore. So she's giving that vibe in the scene. But she's also dressed like she's flirting with Morgan and going to a gun range. Yeah.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Not to be stereotypical, but we never really saw Kyle dressing in this like tough girl manner until she started dating Morgan or allegedly dating Morgan. And so that's kind of weird. It's like she's flirting with the ex-girlfriend if she was dumped and if they were dating. Fucking Kyle stories. I can't take them.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
and so she's then she's got the mauricio thing and then she's like look at me just a girl i mean guns girls yeah i mean maybe girls should learn to use guns but she clearly knows how to use that gun i mean you see her use the guy and i'm like damn you know how to shoot a gun girl that's that's amazing this is how i shoot guns
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Oh, you didn't see why? Because... He sat up on the table to talk to Kyle, and then she jumped up on the table next to him, and he immediately jumped off the table and jumped to the other side. So I think he's got a girlfriend that he doesn't want to see him. Well, they're both fucking idiots. He doesn't want to see him getting close with his ex.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Yeah. Well, that's the problem. You're going to have to skip like 80% of movies then.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
It reminded me of when that Peggy chick, Peggy Tanis, which was the one who went on and her first scene was like shooting guns at the gun range with all her tats and her big boobs.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Yeah, it was Peggy Tannis. I was like, wow, Kyle's going down to Peggy Tannis levels. Well, here we go. Glad to be here for it. So they go to the shooting range and I love that the shooting range guy's like, so why are you here at the range? For fucking muffin lunch, you idiot. What do you think I'm here for? Let's shoot some fucking guns. Less questions, more badassery. Bring me the gun, bitch.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
He looks like, I don't know, someone who'd be banging Mae West in some bordello or something. Some silent picture. And it's 2016, and he's giving a speech to Dorit in front of everybody on a microphone. And he's like, Dorito. My darling, as I stand here tonight welcoming our friends and family, it's not just for Funyun. It's an opportunity to confess publicly.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
I'm sorry to interrupt you, but you know that Dorit and PK, you know that PK at the very least was like cringing at this, watching it at home. Because the guy goes, all right, now here's how you get the magazine in. Slap it like it owes you money.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
They're trying to outvict each other. Yeah. And Kyle's trying to outvict each other. He's like, I'm eating tomato soups out of cans and maybe an egg. And she's like, the house is so lonely.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
She even says that at one point. She's like, well, it's not fair. Well, she doesn't say it's not fair, but she's like, I mean, everything's new for you. You have this new place. And then I'm just in the home. I'm in the home where we all lived. Well, you're the one who didn't want to move, and you're also the one that wanted this divorce.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Now, here's what's making me crazy about this, as if I haven't said it 9,000 times, because the scene keeps happening in different forms. But it's funny reading online and trying to decipher what people are thinking because some people are like, oh, he definitely cheated on her and that's why she left and this and that.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
And from what she's kind of dropped hints about, it's made it sound like that, but she won't outright say it, which leaves it open to all this speculation, which leads me to believe that she was a cheater there. I just, I'm sorry. And I'm sure he's probably cheated multiple times over their relationship, but...
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
I think going on Instagram and hooking up with some girl that she liked is what she accused him of. And I just feel like she's a cheater because I feel like if he was a cheater, she'd 100% be throwing him under the bus instead of just hinting and trying to make us believe it. I don't know. I don't know what it is. And where is Morgan? Did Morgan dump her? Like, what's happening?
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
You send Pringles up my spine and I'll never Cheeto on you. I love you dearly. My dear Dorito.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
I need to know what's happening. We have so many scenes with Kyle and we don't know what's happening. Just tell me what's happening so I can stop speculating nonsense.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
She's totally one of those, like, I'll make my own beers in the backyard, Kyle. Everybody's got to have a hobby. I'm really trying to work on the hops.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Actually, she is dressed like a clown somewhere.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
She is going to fashion shows. And the most recent article I read on her was this weekend. And it's like, look how many different wigs that Lisa Rinna wore at the fashion shows. And then it just cuts to different shots of Lisa Rinna looking crazy in different wigs. I mean, she's living her best life. You know, you go, girl. That's the same mother who really got it together.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Really glad that you brought up Rinna because I'm wearing a duster today. Yeah. You're welcome. Wow. Here it is. Wow. A three quarter length sleeve. I got it from the girls section of Old Navy because we're in that kind of a timeline now, ladies and gentlemen. All right. Let's go to the duster top. Let's go to the L.A.X. LVP terminal.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Yeah, and it's, like, 4 o'clock in the morning, and I love that Garcelle complains about it. She's like, um, this is Sutton Strack. I thought we were going to fly private. There's going to be valet. We might even see a manly hand or two in the plane to massage us. I mean, jeez. 4 in the morning with a brownie crisp. Thanks, Sutton.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
So they arrive in Augusta and Trixie Monocle's like, no, today goes by.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
And we're at the Augusta airport. And Avi's there. And Junebug is off a leash, which. Yeah. Girl. What's going on with that?
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
like ben you have three seconds to come up with a snack two one ah i don't have it yet i'm tired it's rainy in los angeles my brain's not on um and i can't wait to listen to your word salad for the rest of my damn it i brought salad into this all right this marriage is over i'm done i'm done i can't take anymore pork rinds am i right so i think this was the speech that he gave her during some
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
No animals. It's not going to listen to Avi. I mean, I think even the dog knows that's the assistant, you know, because Avi's like, come here. You need to come here right now, little dog. And she's like, bye. And she just literally runs out the door. The next time we see her, she's on a leash.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckas.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Was it the renewal of their vows? I don't remember what it was, but I think it was when they were in the J-Lo house and people had to take the golf carts up the hill to get to the house.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
I might be getting my my PK and Dorit parties mixed up, but I'm not really sure. But yeah, I will never forget the black mold. So then we see another scene in their bedroom where he's like, you look unbelievable. You look radiant. You look gracious.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
And he's like, I was talking to this Snickers bar, actually. But love your sweater, darling.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
I wish Jagger's answer to everything is Erica sucks. Because that was my favorite Jagger moment in the world when he's like, you're the villain. He told Eric. Yeah. God bless his heart. But he's such a cute kid. And I'm so glad he's kind of growing out a PK face because I remember watching this and being like that poor thing. What a long road to hoe. But it's all working out for him in the end.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
So Dorit's getting choked up. And then we see Dorit surprising PK for his birthday. And now it's her turn to make a grand declaration of love. And she's like, PK. Yeah. You bring so much colour, so much purpose to me life. A life that's seemingly impossible to live if you weren't by my side of potatoes. There, I needed to get you to pay attention. So focus.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
So all she's thinking about during Beverly Beach is her husband. You know, the last thing I want to think about when I think about people in bathing suits is your husband. Okay? Keep PK out of this conversation, please. Cover-ups, maybe. Sheets, fine.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Yeah, this was one of those things that's trying to convince us that PK and Dorit have this like whirlwind romance that we're now missing out on. And they never did, guys. I'm sorry. But I don't know how much money this man convinced Dorit that he had.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
I just I'm sorry. I can't buy it. No, neither can PK. You're in love with a tub of cottage cheese who owes money to literally, like if you've never seen a tub of cottage cheese get its knees broken for past debts to the Bellagio, you're in for a treat to eat.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Okay, so then we get to the home invasion where Dorit's sobbing outside and PK's like, get over it, babe. Like, seriously, what's wrong with you? And then she's discussing her trauma and he's like, well, you've been through a really traumatic thing and you also have a lot of fear that's not rational. For example, every time I come out of the bathroom in my underwear, why do you scream?
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Yeah, it was a real shocker that a man who left his family to get with some young blonde chick is now leaving his family. Again, shocker patterns, okay? Pick better. Get a better picker. Now, that said, I like Dorit, and I do feel bad for her, mostly because she's going to be poor now. I mean, she was poor with PK too, but he had a way of faking it that I don't think she's learned, you know?
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
And Erica's like, ding, ding, ding, get out. Get out. So one week earlier, we're at Kyle's house and Kyle's trying to wash one of her gigantic hairy dogs. And she's like, Storm, why do you smell disgusting? God, Storm, stop running away. She wants to hose him off, but she only washed his back. She didn't even wash the sides. I mean, girl, just hire somebody. You're rich as hell.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Yeah, I need more of him as well. And she's like, well, that feel expensive, but I got the money.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
And then we go over to Kathy's house and she has an IV strapped to her and she's calling Bose. And there's a woman puffing her arms, rubbing lotion all over her. There's another woman doing her nails, another woman doing her hair, another one pulling her head back with a chip clip just to keep the forehead up. I mean, the woman has everything. I was trying to add up, how much does this cost?
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
How many people could you feed? How many of Kyle's dogs could you rescue with that money?
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
And it's just more and more every time. I mean, she's going to eventually just have one of those full like car washing machines, you know, where the the big things come out and like a little squeegee comes down and starts working on her face. I mean, by the end, she's just going to be ahead, you know, and she's going to be like on a bowling ball sack that they're just polishing.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Yeah, just, you know, take her out back, vacuum her off, call it a day.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
The piña colada smell. So she's having a party, a little dinner party, and she's inviting bows.
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#2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
And it's like, these are diamonds, honey. Yeah.
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#2716 Crappy Hour 2/03/2025 Gretchen Rossi Returns, Spencer Pratt holds grudge against Andy Cohen, Paige DeSorbo moves on
Well, hello and welcome to Crappy Hour, February 3rd, 2025. I'm Ronnie Karam. That's Ben Mandelker over there. Hello, Ben.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So Garcelle brings up that last year Morgan was part of the show and they met her. So what's the problem with bringing that up? And so we see the flashback to Kyle tattooing the K onto Morgan. And being like, I tattooed the K on you. Yeah, she stalked me. She stalked me. Yeah. I made a couple albums about her. Stalker. Bitch with the clip-ons.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Okay, now I have to say, just to be fair, because Kyle makes me fucking crazy, I like that Dorit asks her about this. Not Dorit, Garcelle asked her about this. But it did get old. It got to be too much for me, where I was just like, okay, like this final one of like, let's talk about Morgan again. Enough. You've already done it two other times this season.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
She said she doesn't want to talk about it. I get how Kyle wouldn't want to talk about it and how she would be annoyed. But I also get that you were the one who brought it on camera in the first place. But I did think Garcelle went a little far with that, personally. Yeah.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Which is her ride. Yeah, I agree.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Especially about sexuality, as you already brought up Denise and Brandy's lie that Kyle brought Brandy on to tell, you know?
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
What drew you and Dorit together? And she's like, well, you know, I met with Garcelle before we started filming. And I was like, tell me all the gossip. And she said she wouldn't because she wanted my relationships to be my relationships. And I really respected that. So when I came to the Sutton's party, I was inspired by Garcelle's directive to be open.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So, basically, this turns into Garcelle saying, look, this is something everybody's talking about. You're in all the magazines on purpose. So, it would look hypocritical for everybody here to just ignore it. Like, why aren't we allowed to ask? And then you go on the after. You pretend you're okay when we're shooting it. Like, I made that lesbian comment at the Chuck E. Cheese.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And you laughed about it. And then we see the clip of her being like, Kyle. Be who you want to be. If you want to be a lesbian, be a lesbian. And Kyle cracking up. And she's like, and then you were fine with it. And I wasn't even being catty. I was just telling you, Kyle, no one will care. We support you. The fans will support you. Everybody's going to support this.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
You're making it more difficult. And she goes, and then you acted like you were fine. And then on the after show, you went and you called me an asshole. So what's that about?
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So she's like, you were trying to embarrass me. That was an asshole move, which you shouldn't be embarrassed anyway. Yeah, I don't think she was trying to embarrass her. Yeah, Garcelle's like, look, you can have your opinion. And in any way, it's not about if Kyle had called her an asshole right then, it wouldn't have been a thing. It's that Kyle acts like she's okay, and then she's two-faced.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
She goes and then to a different camera calls you an asshole, whereas Garcelle just says it right to your face. Right. So then she's like, and then you got mad at Sutton for not jumping on the bandwagon. And she goes, well, because Sutton didn't have my back. And that's between me and Sutton. So, you know, that's between us, period.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And she goes, well, you're saying that she didn't have your back to come after me. She goes, no, she didn't have my back to support me, not come after you. No, support you in coming after me. Well, Kyle, if you watch the show, as you clearly studied it, you would know that Sutton had just had a conversation with Garcelle where she said, yeah, Kyle needs to be confronted about that.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And then acting so innocent when it was brought up. That's why she wasn't being supported. She actively sat there and made a plan to come talk about it with you and then whisked out at the last second to get your good graces.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And basically the other person that was open was Dorit. Now she was an open wound, but thankfully I had a lot of tool to wipe around that womb and stop the bleeding, Andy. I go where I'm needed.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Kyle brought her to the camera. Don't you remember? Kim's like, oh, me and Brandy were just in the neighborhood. We come by. Brandy told her. And then Brandy told her on camera. I mean, I think it's all shocked and had to take it to everybody else.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
She's not bringing on some ex-lover of Morgan's or something.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And then spent the rest of the season going, but Brandy never lies. Brandy's not a liar. Brandy wouldn't lie. Brandy's a truth teller.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Like I just said, Sutton's been talking about this shit for seasons. And to act like she isn't, like we haven't seen it on TV, is ridiculous. Like Kyle says she didn't want to talk about it, so fine. Then why were you half the season saying, and then what about Kyle not talking about this and that? I mean, come on.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
so then it turns to well why why were you just saying that i wasn't i would that um i wasn't support i wasn't standing up for sutton because then you said that that like you know when when sutton was getting trouble in trouble at the table and everybody was coming for sudden and then i didn't say anything you got mad at me for not standing up for her but you didn't stand up for her and uh no one else stood up for her why is it me why is it always me why why why is it me oh
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yeah, I think Garcelle is kind of so thrown off by all of this that she's not really standing up for herself very well, you know, because she's not pointing out a lot of things that are going on. Like she didn't point out what you just said, which is I'm always standing up for Sutton. I was giving Sutton a chance to see if you were going to stand up for her or not.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
If I didn't stand up for her for one scene out of nine million scenes and you didn't. And that's the point. That's the point I was trying to make for Sutton. You're trying to win Kyle's approval. Kyle does not give a shit about you when you don't care about you don't care about my approval because you know that you've automatically got it and I will always stand up for you.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
You know, I wish Garcelle kind of had a better defense to some of this stuff.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So Kyle does her whole, like, Jennifer, Telly didn't stand up for her. What did I do to deserve it? What did I do? And so Garcelle just says, okay, well, I'm sorry about that. She goes, I mean, I don't know. It's like, who do you trust? You know, like, who do you trust? Well, surely you could trust your best friend who's texting your ex behind your back. Surely.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And he's like... Okay, now we move to the big one, which is Dream. How do you feel seeing what Garcelle said about someone orchestrating the break-in? There was no music! Hmm.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So she's like, I don't understand. Now here's the thing before we even get into all of this, Garcelle, if you are going to say that somebody or that that was bullshit, you are going to have to take it at the reunion. And that's just it. Like she's not in this, in this section. And I don't mean this for the rest of the reunion, but for this section, You said it. Take the heat.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
You're going to have to take the heat.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I think she stood very well for herself. I like that she did not back down in this section. But later when she gets upset, like they're all coming for me. Well, yeah. I mean, if you say something like that, you have to be prepared to go to the reunion and be ready for her to go on a self-righteous terror against you because she's going to. And a lot of the audience will join her.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And I like that Garcelle is brave enough to be like, it's bullshit. That's why I said it. So she's like, I don't understand the obsession about one of the most traumatic things in me life. Something I suffered terribly for two and a half years. And she goes, well, that's my feeling. And that's the last time I'm going to talk about it.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Well, Bo said on the after show that Sutton and Dorit, wait, Sutton and Garcelle, that would be Garcelle and Dorit in a couple. Sorry about that. Sutton and Garcelle were jealous. And we see a flashback of them saying that. Bo saying, well, perhaps some jealousy that I would find any interest in Dorit, given that perhaps I'm not finding interest in them.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Well, hallelujah, because you have not stopped talking about it since it happened. She goes, oh, please. I talked about it twice.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I mean, what am I supposed to do?
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And also, it's not based on nothing, Dorit. You have a very, very long history with your husband of shady dealing and grifting and not paying people and then break-ins and robberies and all this shit seems to always be happening to you. And then even last year, you had that mysterious $10,000 that went missing from your purse and a Target. No, a Home Depot. No, a HomeGoods. No, a Marshalls.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Come on. It's not based on nothing. It's based on your history, Dorit. And it's not only four people on Twitter who doubted your story. A lot of people still to this day doubt all of your stories because you're full of shit and so is your husband. So that's what it's based on, ma'am.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
There was a lot fishy that went on there. And it's completely gauche to say that she did that because it was traumatic if it happened. So it is gauche to say it. But people who follow this show and follow the news off of this show would think that it's fishy. It's not the first time they've been robbed. It's not, I mean, it's not crazy to think that this is fishy.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Now to say it, I think takes extreme balls. Cause even me and listen, I love getting deep into this stuff and thinking like, that's not true. That never happened. I love a good conspiracy. Even I was like, I'm not going to go there, even though, of course, I think it's fishy. Of course it is, just because of who they are. But I'm still not ready to say it's a lie. I don't know that it's a lie.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I don't know if it's a lie either. So I'm not going to say that.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And in times of trauma, you've got to just give it to the person. It's not a big enough hill to die on.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Shit, on Married to Medicine, one cast member actually accused another of robbing her home, of setting up people to rob her home.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Do you know how the minority help felt about it? absolutely disgusting of you. And Garcelle's like, well, I'm sorry it hurts you. It's how I feel. And Buzz just goes, wow.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And so Andy's like, so you think it's because the guys gave back the cell phone? It's just, well, yeah. And it was also because I don't put the alarm on at night because the kids run around. I mean, most people's alarm, you can put the alarm on and be in the home. Oh, you think my husband would orchestrate? Have you seen him? He hired Berlin.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And Garcelle's like, well, I didn't say you or your husband. Don't put that in my mouth. Well, you intimated. Well, I did not. I did not. I mean, you did. Of course. Who else orchestrated it? I mean, I think the orchestration, the hint that was that it was PK who did it was the theory. She did never technically say it.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And for Dorit to say, oh, he must be a sociopath and not give a shit about his family whatsoever. Well, didn't you say that PK never sees the kids? He never calls the kids. When you were at your lowest point going through trauma, he didn't care. He ignored you. He wanted you to shut up. We saw him on camera say, it's not even trauma. It's just being annoying or whatever he said on camera.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So, you spent a lot of time... telling us and pk has taken a lot of time showing us that he doesn't give a fuck so yeah i don't know what argument you're trying to say but you've been arguing against yourself for the entire season painting him as a piece of shit who doesn't care about his children or you so
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Flashback to Diana Jenkins. You are fake. You are such a fake and a phony fake fake. And Garcelle saying, that's kind of shitty. Are you her bodyguard? You need a new willing? Here I am. Oh, yeah.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And Bose and Dorit are like, yes, you did. You did do that. You did go on and on. But to be fair, you all, not Bose, because she wasn't here, but everyone else went on and on about Garcelle standing up for Sutton all the time, too. It's not like you guys never said anything. So why is it bad for Garcelle to say something if she's saying it?
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
You guys have no problem saying that Garcelle is up Dorit's ass every single reunion. So why is it a sudden problem? You know? Yeah, exactly.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Because Garcelle's glove is stuck on Sutton's dress. And so she's like, well, look, on anyways, to be honest, if I said stuff, I'm glad you had a friend in Bose. All right. I don't have a problem with that. I'm just glad that you don't have a friend in me because this is not fucking Toy Story. All right. I don't need your poor ass in my life. So you're happy for Dorit that she has a friend? Yes.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yeah, it's just Erica, Dorit, and Kyle because Teddy and Rinna were the other ones.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And just to be fair, the Fox Force Five is fucking annoying, standing up for each other blindly, as they do in this reunion and every reunion. But also, Garcelle and Sutton are fucking annoying, too. That whole thing annoys me, too, with the, like, you have to have my back. You have to have my back. You have to have my back. You have to have my back. Who has my back? Who has my back?
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Like, part of me is like, you're adults. Like, everyone get over it. And the Dorit and Bose thing does kind of get on my nerves, too, because it would be nice for Dorit to just be able to fight with somebody and not have somebody intelligent standing right there to speak for Dorit. Because Dorit couldn't handle most of this on her own.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So it's kind of annoying all over the place, even though it's part of these shows. It's like a built-in part of these shows. So I just don't understand how they all get mad at each other when they all do it.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yeah, but they all, you know, they all do it. That's part of the show. So Kyle's, Bo's says that the most offensive part was where that she, that Garcelle said that Bo's was being manipulated by Doreen. And she's like, that's ridiculous. And Kyle goes, well, I didn't think she was being manipulated. Yeah, Kyle, okay. So Boaz is like, I mean, that's insulting to me.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And if you think for one second there's anything that Tariq could say that would influence my opinion of you, then you don't think very much of yourself. And Garcelle's like, okay, okay. But what Garcelle was saying is you're naturally going to have more of a problem because the only thing you know about these people is information you're being fed by Dorit, which is natural.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And you said yourself that when you got together with Garcelle, Garcelle would not feed you that information because she didn't want to color your experience. And you said, great, because that could have colored my experience. So now why can't you admit that hearing only information from one other person could possibly color your experience?
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I mean, you just said the other argument five minutes ago.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So then we moved to the juicier clips of Garcelle saying, confronting Kyle about Morgan, saying, we tiptoe around Morgan. We don't know what that situation is. And Kyle saying, there is no situation. Maybe one day I'll have a great story to tell. Okay.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And Erica's like, that's what we're getting at. You know, I'm not saying she's not telling us what's happening, but what are you doing? And she goes, there's nothing else to show. I'm showing you everything. Well, are you dating? Are you? Where's your love? Where's anybody's love life? Literally none of you. Come on. I don't believe it.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
What about your default in the Marco Marco case is going to get you in trouble again? What about you being sued for another $24 million because someone's about to prove that your ass knew what Tom was doing all along to fund your stupid career? Come on. What about that? Why is that such a problem to talk about this year?
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So Garcelle's like, you know, listen, what do you want me to show? And Andy's like, dating. And they're like, yeah, are you getting a little? And she goes, no. I mean, I went on two dates with somebody. And so Andy's like, what do you guys want to see? And she goes, yeah, what more do you want? Like, there's nothing I'm not showing.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And, you know, to be fair, Garcelle is showing what's going on in her life. She's been building a house for three years. She's been working and producing films and acting and a ton of stuff. I mean, she's busy. She is showing what she's doing. It may not be the most exciting content, but she is doing something. And I would venture to say more than most of you.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And Bo's like, well, we can't all be living off the backs of orphans and widows, Erica, you know?
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Well, she makes a good point where she's like, my divorce was before I came on the show, and I was very open about it. I talked about the divorce. I talked about what happened. I talked about my feelings. I talked about my revenge on my husband. I talked about how it made my kids feel, how my kids are still dealing with it. Like, what the fuck? It's not like I didn't talk about it.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
What about yours, Erica? You're fucking lying, talking about not seeing Tom anymore and having nothing to do with any cases and saying you're completely out of the woods and all of this. What the fuck?
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yeah, maybe she could just date a man 50 years her senior for his money and then, you know, have a big fake pop career that she's paid for and then have it all come crashing down when it turns out she's been married to a fucking criminal the whole time. Like, not everybody gets that exciting of a life, Erica, okay? She wasn't pulled off a pole and put on a pedestal.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Like, what the fuck do you want? So Garcelle's like, well, I was open. I've been open, you know? And Kyle's like, well, my issue with you is that you say Kyle's not been showing us her life and I've showed so much of my life, you know? Mm-hmm. Have you? Really? She talks about her sisters. Yeah, you've thrown your sisters under the bus.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
You've had no problems talking openly about their problems, their shit going on. But we haven't really heard that much. We still don't know why you left your husband. We still don't know if he cheated. We still don't know if he's even dating anybody. We still don't know if you're dating Morgan. We don't know what's going on with your children. What the fuck are you talking about?
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Right, because nobody wants to see more from Garcelle. That's not the point. They're calling Garcelle boring because Kyle doesn't want to answer whether she's a lesbian right now. That's it. That's this whole thing and everybody knows it. And Kyle's doing this like, well, what do you want me to tell you? What more do you want from me? Like having this big fit.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And he's like, I have commitment issues, which is kind of her point. So she made that one. So Andy's like, well, Okay, let's talk about your fertility journey. No, thanks. FF. But she's doing that. She's still doing it. And then she's talking about the other ladies. And he says, you know, turning what many found to be kind of an unlikely friendship, you could say bosom buddies.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And Erica goes, yeah, that's how we feel. We've just been so open. We've been so destroyed. You destroyed your damn self. Okay, you destroyed your damn self and your husband destroyed you. So stop with this. So Kyle's like, I mean, literally tuning the camera out and never even thinking about the cameras being there. Do you have my right side or my left? Okay, do it again.
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#2787 RHOBH S1418 Part Two: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
That's how much we've done this.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So then we go to people making their way to the stage, and Garcelle is wearing some crazy jeweled bodysuit dress kind of thing that she's got gloves. And she's like, I can't even use my phone. And Kyle is dressed like she's auditioning for that roller derby show on Netflix, whatever that was called. Yeah. Glow, shine, something like that.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So Erica is asked about her dress.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I hope they got paid first.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Had some friend at the Secret Service frame them. Had their adoption ruined. And had them thrown in prison for a while.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yeah. And she's like, there are crystals, Andy. I had to put them outside of my dressing room so that they could charge. You know, crystals need to be charged, everybody. I'm like, yeah, and at least two people on this cast. Dorit and Erica.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Sorry. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So, Eric, I can't believe our ears when we heard your song. At first, we thought we were being attacked by mobs of dogs coming down from mountainsides to rip out our throats. But it turns out it was you in the booth doing vocals again. And it was in a film called Anora. She goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So everyone's like, wow, that is so amazing. So congratulations on Baby Valley, Garcelle. Now, why would you name your baby after an inferior suburb? And I live in the valley and I can say that. I feel like I can say that. Is it true that LVP is in the running for the godmother? And we see a baby, you know, it's called the valley.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Uh, Bose is there. She's wearing glitter. Um, sequins tool. Bose loves tool. Bose is not afraid of a tutu outfit. She's like, bring on the tool. I'll wear any tour. You get me here.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yeah. Don't ever forget it. So Andy is talking about intentions. Oh, wait, no, let's not forget. Dorit was featured in British Vogue. It was the bankruptcy edition. Congratulations. I almost, I went to buy that actually at the newsstand, but they said it was in chapter 11. So if anybody has a copy, I'd love to see it.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
You know, my career has been long and varied, Andy. But what put it over the edge was Peter Pien. So thank you, Peter.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And we know from reports that Garcelle is not in the cast photo this year because she walked off. So this was like one of those White Lotus moments where it's just a hint, you know, it's a hint of things to come. So they talk about how the last two years they didn't because Sutton walked off last year and then the year before. Who did walk off the year before? Who left the year before?
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Probably me. I probably got so frustrated.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yeah, so we start with the Dorit segment. Dorit's entire life changed. They talk about the divorce, the Chanel, you know. And Dorit has left the building and a cigarette smoking table lunging forced to be reckoned with has taken her place. Don't worry, neither one of them pays their bills. Let's look.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Poor George, ladies and gentlemen.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So we see multiple clips of Dorit's season, and Erica's clutching her chest dramatically as she hears that Dorit is going to separate. And then Andy announces that PK is not going to be at the reunion, but he did release a statement, babe. We as a couple have been subject to a lot of speculation about our marriage.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
We've had our struggles over the past few years and continue to work through them as two people who love Doritos, chips, sour cream, and onion. And Fritos as well. We have two amazing children together. Can't remember their names right now. Don't ever call them. Don't ever see them. Who cares, really? One of them kind of has my face. Bugle and Frunion. I don't know.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Anyway, go on, me. Basically, he's like, you know, Dorit's a monster, and she's been a bitch to me, and she's really mean to me and slanderous, and I'm not going to show up to give her the pleasure of slandering me in public.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Hey, PK, you know what you should be writing? Checks to people that you owe money to, okay? Save your writing for a checkbook, sir.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
The Israeli part of me holds back a bit, but the Dutch part of me loves a little poof-poof in the morning. You know what you're saying, Andy? And Sam's just like, social smoking. Disgusting.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yeah, she turned into a stress smoker. That's what happened to Andy. And Kyle's like, can I ask you a question? You never thought you'd be seen? Because Dorit's like, well, I was smoking because I didn't think I'd be seen. And Kyle's like, how can you not be seen? I mean, we have car cameras. So, like, I mean, come on.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Um, pretty infuriating episode, but it always is when it's the final, the final, what do I call them? That the Fox force, whatever they are now, Fox, Fox force four. Is that how many of them are left? I guess it's just three left now, right? Fox force three. Yeah. The kind of going out people and then Kyle victim me and then, and, uh, but you know what? I love to yell and scream and rage.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And she's like, well, Kyle, to be honest with you, I assumed everything was going to be seen. But I just didn't give a flipping fuck.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yeah. So Andy is asking about last year. So Sutton explained that while her kids knew that she and Christian were separated, Dorit elected not to tell the kids. So was that hypocritical of you, Sutton? And she's like, well, you know, I think that I learned from my own mistakes. Have we seen Porter? She still looks shell-shocked. So that's proof that I didn't make the right choice.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So, Doreen, do you think that you're going to get back with PK? Probably not. It's not my choice. PK doesn't want me.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Well, are you still in love with him?
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
The man is like a human hairy duvet.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I still wake up in the middle of the night hoping that I could take someone to the hospital for arrhythmia or a cardiac event.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And so that's what I'm here to do today. Party. So it's going to be a good day for me.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Okay. Well, he declined. But he sent us a statement. Guys, let's put up another poster board. of a statement from PK, shall we? So now here's his new statement. It's very long, but this is the one where he's like, Dorit has called me a bad father. And that statement is both heartbreaking and false. What I am is a bad dipper.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Now, occasionally I get a chip into the sour cream and onion and I get it all over the couch. Well, I'm sorry for that. I'm not the most perfect person in the world, but I love my children, whatever their names are and wherever they may be.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
The woman I married was so generous, knowing that I had a wife and children when she married me. It was lovely. I hope I find that woman again, and not this judgmental bitch that we are seeing now on television. Thank you very much.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I'd wish it was. Pretty woman. Jason Alexander could have hit on me and it would have been an upgrade.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Well, I'm sorry for contouring. But this is my nose and my chin. And those lines that you see under it every time I lie down are natural, Andy. Thank you very much. We aren't talking about your face, Dorit. We're talking about your personality. My face is my personality. What else do you want me to talk about? The CCs on your chest? Well, fine.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Stop saying seeing red. I can't find my red light wand. So here we are. Reunion part one. The cars are arriving in... Holy wood. And the producer's checking with Kyle, of course, first, because she's the star. And they're like, how are you feeling, Kyle? Did you catch up on the episodes? Are you a lesbian yet? And she's like, that's not funny. You know what? This hasn't been very fun to watch.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
There's so many snakes in the grass. No one did anything to you, Kyle. Literally no one did anything to you except ask you a couple of questions.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
To be honest, he's never stayed on a wagon his entire life. They just don't sit well with him. There are pictures of PK as a tiny child in a little red wagon, one leg in, body out, blobbed on the ground, crying.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I just think she's an asshole, and she needs to be a victim, because that's her thing. And don't worry, she'll get it. But today she came in fighting. She's like, I'm going to fight today with 20 pounds of fake hair on my head. And so, you know, she did her thing, and she did it in a really awful outfit. I mean, my God, who dressed you? I mean, tell me, what happened? What happened there?
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Because I wouldn't have made that leap from how they were talking, would you? I wouldn't have made that leap. I just thought she was like, I'm not going to talk about it because he told me not to talk about it.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yeah. So Andy's like, so he's drinking again. You don't want to say that. She's like, I have no idea. His exact words are burp. It's something I'm choosing not to discuss. Then he falls down. Then he gets back up. Then he coughs. And a blue cheese stuffed olive comes out. And he says, I will not discuss this with you. Then he burps again and goes to sleep on a stack of hay.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And we look at the set and it is, in fact, Erica's living room table. Someone posted that on Reddit a few weeks ago and I mentioned it on the show thinking it was a different reunion that Erica just, I just thought Erica went to a reunion and was like, can I have that coffee table?
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And they gave it to her. So I rescind that. I was mistaken.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Now, you know, Andy, everyone knows. That I have used forensic accounts, but I've never used forensic accounts, which is what they use. So I'm not sure if it really works the same way for Poreet and Porkay. But we'll see. We'll see.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I'm worried about people I don't care about all the time. Aren't you? All the time. I'm worried about Teddy. I never even liked her on this show. I'm like genuinely worried about Teddy. I've been worried about people. I got worried that a lady in the grocery store the other day that had lettuce, apples, and a 12 pack of Snickers bars.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And I was like, that poor lady thinking that she has to buy the healthy stuff as well. Just get the Snickers lady. I almost wanted to pull her to the side and say, don't doubt yourself.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
It's like gold... gold sparkles and then it's kind of cut off and then there's that flesh looking material that's not the same colors or skin and it just looks it just looks like it was like c-3po wanted to go to the club you know so c-3p no ma'am hey bitch no c-3p no c-3p no c-3p ho no
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
A woman who doesn't belittle other women, as Erica Wood said. I'd just like to get that onto the record. Thank you. Thank you, Andy.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So she's like, how could you worry about me? You don't care about me. And she says she worries for all women. And Sutton's like, it's true. I mean, now, whose name is on the mortgage? I worry about that. Do you know that? And Dorit's like, well, do you really think I'm going to sit here and answer any questions that you're asking me?
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
It's not about whose name. It's on the mortgage. Her name is not on the mortgage. The mortgage is an LLC. And I think Dorit's- I think Dorit has like 5% of that or something. That's what I read on Reddit, which I believe everything. I believe everything I read on there.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So Sutton's like, well, you should know whose name is on the mortgage. And she's like, well, you said you're worried. Well, you have to like someone to worry. And she goes, well, you know what surprised me when I got divorced? That I had two baseball teams. Okay. That surprised me.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I'm just going to find out that PK ate two baseball cards. You know, you got to look into that. And so Andy goes, well, yeah, but that's a nice surprise. Well, yeah, I mean, it was a nice surprise, you know, but it was a surprise. And communication in a marriage is so important, Andy. It just really, really is.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
You get mice all over the house. So Andy's like, well, there's reports that your house is in foreclosure. She goes, no, there were reports that it was in pre-foreclosure. Now, that's a totally different thing. You know, PK told me that the mortgage rates magically changed. And so he had to get on the phone with the guy. And the guy wouldn't call him back.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So he said, I'm not paying until the guy calls me back. As you do with mortgages. Doesn't everyone agree? Who here doesn't hear from their mortgage person once a day at least?
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And Boltz goes, that's how you lose a house. Shut up, Jewel. You're supposed to be on my side. Now, he resolved it.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
To prove it, he pulled out a sack of gold coins, he unwrapped one, and ate the chocolate inside of it. And I believed every word.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I'm a collection agency as well, Andy. I've got a lot of CCs up there. Lots of CCs. Lots of them, Andy. Collection girl to collection girl. They let us off, Andy, because they called back. I was like, oh, okay. Makes total sense.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So she talks about how hard it is and her heart's so broken. It's broken in a million pussies, Andy.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Okay, so Dorit's a victim and never lies about anything. So we've got that covered. I wish they had like a montage of Dorit and PK just being full of shit over the years and all their fake businesses and all the times that they're bankrupt and all the times that they claim to be robbed and all the times, all of this shit. We really need that. Editors, where are you? Okay, stop building up Dorit.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
If you're going to rip everybody down, rip them all together evenly.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
But, you know, I really do want them to at least show that scene when they were grilling PK and Dorit in the confessional about the finances and all the rumors about the – Fraud and all the other stuff that they've been accused of over the years. And they kept trying to distract the cameraman so that they wouldn't use the footage. And he kept being like, oh, that's all bullshit.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
None of that happened. Dorit's like, yes, it's bullshit. And then she would pick up a big, loud potato chips thing and start rustling it and then eating the potato chips so that they couldn't use the footage. And then they ended up using the footage anyway. I mean, come on, man. You've got so much gold on Dorit.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yeah. They're like, that outfit is not conductive. So, next up, Bose comes, and she brought a gallon of water, like... The pose reminds me of coming to parties with M&Ms in my pocket. Like what if their food sucks? You know, you go, you always have to have something like, I always have to have something to eat just in case. And Bose doesn't think they're going to have water at the reunion.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And just to keep it fair, Bose's personal storyline is boring, too. Everyone's personal storyline on this show is pretty boring, let's say. Except for Dorit's. Yeah.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
But Bose, Bose really excelled in the group scenes, I think. And with the other ladies as well, just like some of the, and that's okay. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I'm just pointing it out because it becomes a big deal later on who's boring and who's not. And I'm just here to say, you're all pretty fucking boring until you're together and then you're magic. So, you know, what can I say?
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
You know, I used to watch it in a bathrobe on my couch, and now I watch it wearing tulle in the actual scenes, and it's pretty amazing, Annie. Pretty amazing. But basically, she says that she thought a lot of stuff is exaggerated on the show, especially the relationships and how they fight and how...
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
offended they get at each other and how close they are but it turns out they're very real and you spend a lot of time together when you're shooting and it gets intense and um then we talk about her losing her malibu house in the fire which is crazy and so sad yeah and she talks about you know i'm sorry oh i thought sorry i thought you were moving on to keely sorry go Oh no, no.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I was just going to say, she talked about how she, that was the first thing that she really bought herself and she, she came from nothing. And so to earn that was, you know, a huge deal to her. So to lose it was, you know, not great. So yeah, that's, that's pretty bad.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yeah, I mean, I felt that way watching it, too. It could have just been because they're on TV for the first time, and it's this... They're trying to be like, okay, let's have a romantic scene. And I guess that could be awkward, especially for the person not really cast on the show, like him.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I mean, it was boring. And it reminded me of Dr. Simone on the Married to Medicine reunion, because she's talking about somebody on Married to Medicine saying they wanted to have kids. And Simone's like... Andy, you do not have children when you're 50. You're 50 and then you're 80 when they're getting married or whatever. Who wants that?
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And Andy, who did that recently, he was older than 50, I think, is like, God! Goddamn! But, um...
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
It was so funny. But I mean, that's kind of how I feel about it, just because I am almost 50. And I just think for myself, well, I've never wanted kids. So that's never been my instinct. But my instinct is, oh, because I have friends who are around my age, having kids or getting ready to have kids. And I'm like, oh, my God, like that.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I mean, what are these, how these people treated Bose all year that she thinks she needs to bring her own water.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
aren't you tired yeah i'm exhausted like how are you gonna do it that was my feeling on the storyline but you know more power to you go for it if you want it yeah obviously definitely congratulations you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap for part two go look for the recap that says part two see you over there suckers
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
We're on the floor with Molly Dorsett.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Hi, I'm good. I've been looking all over for my red light pin and I can't find it. So I'm just aging, aging rapidly into this recap.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
She's wearing one of those hats on her head with a beer inside and a straw coming down on the side. She's like...
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yeah. I paid for it with 30 pieces of gold, which I was paid to betray you in this reunion.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So it's 14 times for Kyle. He's 14 years old. About how old she acts during most of this reunion. And Garcelle got a vibrator. That was the gift, right?
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
No, let me see. I wonder where she got into crystals. Would Morgan Wade happen to be into crystals? Hmm. I wonder.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I really love crystals. Sometimes what I do is I put the crystals on my windowsill and I hope for baked beans.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Crystals. Morgan Wade Crystals. Let's see. Oh, it just says it's Crystal Kung Minkoff articles. What the hell?
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I looked up to just have better luck to find it without having crystal cone meat cough. I looked up this time, Morgan Wade crystal addiction, thinking, you know, someone that really likes crystals. And it said, AI, Al, as I call her, Al says, there's no indication in the search results that Morgan Wade has crystal addiction or any addictions beyond her past struggles with alcohol.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I wasn't saying crystal meth. Jesus Christ.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
I am kind of worried, though, because now that I'm looking at this, her albums are Puppets With My Heart, which I don't really get, Reckless, Psychopath, and Obsessed. Uh... Are you writing anything that's not about Kyle lately? Jeez. So she's not married and does not have children except for Kyle. Okay.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Let me see her Crystal content! Okay, I'm on her Instagram now. She's playing the guitar a lot. She loves to sit and play, which, you know what? I respect that. I would not stand and play either. I don't know. I don't understand people who stand and play the guitar. She does pushups. She puts her hand through her hair a lot. And let's see. No crystals so far.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Her arms and her back are fucking amazing. Jesus, I have a crush on Morgan Wade. I'm going to start DMing Morgan Wade right now. She's got a Frenchie with a cigar in its mouth. It's unhealthy. Does a Frenchie count as a crystal? She loves her friend. She has a really cute Frenchie. Let's see here. We're not supposed to talk about Morgan Wade. That's very anti-LGBTQP that Kyle said.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
Yeah, I went through Morgan Wade's entire thing, entire Instagram, did not find one crystal. I did, however, find a lot of flannel. So there's that. Okay, so... Oh, you know what I found?
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So, we go into the room, into the reunion room, you know. Well, first it's the dressing room. Andy's like, hi, Kyle. So he goes in to say hi to her, and he asks her about the double standards, because she's asking other people to share, but she won't share. And Kyle's like, oh, really? What have we seen from Garcelle's life? And Sutton, like, I mean, she has a sustainability line. Cool.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
It's like no suicide storylines. Yeah. Nothing happening with someone at all.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
So, and let's face it, nobody has the most exciting storylines. It's, like, personally. Like, nobody's really doing that much. Garcelle, listen, and somebody commented today, you know, you guys... You guys have been complaining about Garcelle's beach house storyline for years. Why are you so hypocritical? Well, yeah, but the point is, we've always said that.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
It's not like we've stood back from that. We've pretty much taken the stance that she's really good in the group scenes calling people out. That's what she's great with on this show. Her alone scenes do kind of suck, but so do Erica's. So do Kyle's. So do Dorit's. So does everybody's on this show. So give me a break. It's not about that.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
The point is, is that Kyle has something that people are asking her about that she's not talking about. If Garcelle had all these boyfriends and she was refusing to talk about it, that would be one thing. But the point is, Kyle, you have something that you're like calling the paps for publicly to get all over any press that you can. And then you won't talk about it on the show.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And then you get on everybody else about sharing their life. It's about you being a hypocrite. Do you understand?
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
It's not about anybody else's storylines being good or not. It's about you being a fucking hypocrite as usual, Kyle. Okay.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
And also she, the rumors about Erica are that she's fucking Tom's friend, Jim Wilkes, that lawyer in that lawyer in Florida, or at least see has something going on with this guy that he's paying for her house and helping her out. And there's, you know, she's, there's no, there's a reason she's not completely destitute at this point. We never hear about him.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
We never hear about what's going on with you. And how long did you spend lying about all the stuff going on with Tom and trying to get Tom an alibi and everything on the show? And what's the defense? I forgot this word last week, too, which I think means I'm getting it. Oh, a dementia defense and all that shit last year.
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#2786 RHOBH S1418 Part One: Give ‘Em Hell, Garcelle!
She's got two homes that she got herself from working, which we see on the show. Erica, bring on, you know, draggy balls, Tom, again, please. So then, um, Garcelle and Sutton are talking about, you know, seeing TMZ in the airport and Carlsey, Carlsey, Garcelle's like, yeah, well, they saw me in the airport and they said that Kyle said we were good. And I said, are we?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
How annoying is it to have to switch apps to watch your favorite movies and videos? Different logins, forgotten passwords? Well, not anymore!
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And then he tells us, I don't feel like, I mean, deserves a promotion. Like, I feel like she was over, I was overlooked by Lava for this position, even though it wasn't a position before. And I totally think this position is stupid and I don't want this position at all.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
She doesn't know what it's like to stand outside all night long getting people to come inside. That's huge.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So he's like, yeah, it's a hard job. And she's just a bottle girl. And Chris goes, not anymore, man. Not anymore. He's like, yeah, well, good luck with that. And he's like, listen to me, man. What I need you to do is calm down and relax. And he's like, don't tell her that. Don't tell her she's my boss then, because she's not.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And Lover tells us, no, babe, there's not room for not respecting my decisions. That ain't happening. I do like to be a friendly boss, but it's a fine line. And if you start forgetting who you're dealing with, I'm going to have Leah, CEO, tell you who I'm dealing with.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
You are dealing with one of the most powerful little girls with a dream that's ever walked the streets of Charleston, bitch.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And she's, like, doing double, like, shooting fingers while she talks. She's like, I'm going to remind you real quick who you're dealing with. I was like, ooh, Leva, yes. I love some... Some GM energy.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
By the way, how many people got Emmy the job? Because so far, Maddie has already claimed to have gotten Emmy the job. And now Joey's claiming to have gotten Emmy the job here.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Was she a little girl with a dream? No. She had ribbons in her hair. Good. No one's competing with me and this bitch.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
so the next day yeah i don't care so the next day not that you're mad i care that you're mad but no i don't i can't i care that i'm mad because it's like i can't i cannot get mad i cannot get myself worked up over this show um so the next day mia's making out with troy and she's like your abs look really good from this angle he's like yeah i'm sure so that's why
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And then Grace Lilly finally is doing the hula hoop in her room, which is all I've needed all season. They really let this storyline drop. And I'm like, hi, I'm here for the artistic journey of Grace Lilly and her fucking hula hoop. You can't just cut me off, people.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
HERS is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
This is like beach food. such good watermelon and BLTs. I mean, it was so extravagant and it's also a lot for such skinny people to be eating like watermelon. I don't know. I was jealous. It's like, I can't do that.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
She's like, yeah.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Yeah, Maddie's delusion and lies, I mean, she's like at level season six housewife. Yeah. That she's just making up shit and planting stuff and lying and like trying to run a whole season. I mean, girl, that's like some... Just like you've been on Bravo for years and years and not just a few weeks. Because how long do you think they take to shoot this show? Like two months, maybe?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Eight weeks tops?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Start your initial free online visit today at 4hers.com slash crappins.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Elevating my style used to mean breaking the bank, but with Quince, I get high-end, versatile pieces at prices I can actually afford. Now I can upgrade my style by snagging luxury essentials that sync with my vibe and my wallet.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
The best part? All Quince items are priced 50-80% less than similar brands.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices, along with premium fabrics and finishes. I love that.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Experience the convenience of having your favorite subscriptions in your Prime Video account with one login and one password.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
4hers.com slash crappins.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
yeah oh yeah you know i called her while you guys were in miami because i knew she wouldn't be around brad and i got the honest answer yeah he's full of fucking lies man and she's like i'm not surprised he did this because he's the planner he's a conspirator he plays tits for tats but this recording it vindicates trevor and i'm grateful because i can finally move on
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
It's also just another person who's like a horrible human being pretending that they're like super, super positive, you know, like, Hey, you know what? Being kind is free. So is working out. Did you know that? Like, why don't you say that? Exercise is fucking free, too, people. You don't really need to pay me to do it. Walk. Go outside your fucking door. Walk. Do a couple of push-ups, okay?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
I'm literally stealing your money. Yeah. There's the truth I need from you, sir.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
LOL. So then he's smiling. He's like giving an evil smile because he's got her right where he wants her, right? She's totally believing everything. So then we go to Sammy having lunch with Bradley and Lucia because Bradley's messy as hell, you know? So he's of course going to be like, look at our new cast member, Sammy.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
No, no! And she does that thing which we've all done where we're like, I'm just gonna have, you guys, I'm just gonna have this smoothie while you guys have lunch. It's gonna totally be the same thing. And then she just stares at everyone else's food the whole time she's with her smoothie. You want a bite?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And TJ's like, yeah, she might come. And she'll probably be eating a sandwich. I mean, no offense. Not that I want you to compete with her or anything. And Brad's like, oh, yeah, so what about the whole voice message thing? And he tells us, here we go again. Miami, Maddie got caught in a lie, and I thought we were done with it. But now my name is being drugged through the mud again by Maddie.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And Sammy's like, um, but guys, like, did she play the whole voice message? Because the voice message was like,
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Oh, so Maddie's like, I don't know. Sammy's like, I feel like the whole point of his call was for me to say, like, we didn't make out. Like, he just kept saying, you just need to say it. You just need to say it. I just need you to say it.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
She's like, there's like a lot of blaming me for everything that went down in his life. And we see the clip, you know, again, or maybe for the first time, I'm just saying it again. And he's like, so wait, the thing that worries me is that you really believe that we made out? And she answers, I don't want to talk about it. And he's like, but you kind of made it my life.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So he's like sticking by the thing that they didn't make out. I mean, I kind of believe just what the video showed. I think if they really made out, she would have shown the video of them making out. I think the video was them wasted. He was kind of like lightly flirting and they were going out to party because she knows this friend group. So that's what it seems like to me.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Would I doubt that he made out with her? Not really. But wasn't the story initially that he made out with her friend? I mean, the story is just kind of like... Well, Mikkel brought it. Mikkel said, no, he didn't make out with her. It was the friend that she made out with. It was his friend. And I guess she got them confused. But then people have seen her on videos of season one with this group.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So she obviously knows this group. It's not like she's some new girl that they would be confused.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Why would you say he's cheating on me?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
okay well now we go to the restaurant and it's time for lineup guys so emmy's running the meeting she's like okay guys i'm the assistant to the general manager so we're just gotta clarify right now maddie's djing till close maddie what do you have to say about that maddie's like Just ignores. Like, okay, well, I'm going to move on because that's what general managers do.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So, Joe, Joe, do we have table three or six open? And he ignores her. She's like, you really fucked up, Joe.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And Maddie's like, I just don't want her to take my job or my money. He goes, yeah, but she has full intention of taking your job. She's been talking about it for months. And Maddie's like, I know, and she's a snake for that.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
They're still mad at what they thought was going to happen and not what did happen. So Maddie's like, I mean, I understand why Joe's shaken, because Republic is his life. I mean, right now he just needs to swallow his pride and let karma take its course, because karma, karma, karma, it's coming for Emmy Sherrod. What'd she do?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Love it. Need it. Everything I needed this season. Glad it's here. Hope it stays. Not sure what the ratings are, but I'm hoping for you guys.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Now look, as a restaurant worker, I always have believed that there is a certain place in hell for restaurant managers. I don't think that I've ever met one that's been cool. Like a GM.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
with that attitude you need to go home joey bottles he's like what like right now he's like yeah like right now so we cut back and maddie's like joe joe don't fuck up joe you got to be on your p's and q's right now okay you're valued here and he's like yeah and you know what else i love this place like i love nana's chicken parm you really fucked up joe you really fucked up quiet well
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
aria the vip server really comes for her moment she's like season finale i can't wait to have my moment amy will may i have a moment of your time please i need to have a discussion with you yeah so you guys know i went out on thursday right like no
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So then outside, Grace is like, wow, Joe, your eyes are sparkling. They look so good, Joe. Wow. So Will comes out and he's like, Joe, can we talk? You really fucked up, Joe. He's like, okay, well, you look really good, by the way. Which I love that he got a Bravo classic in there. And then Will brings a new Bravo classic. He's like, let's go chat by the dumpster. So they do.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
He's like, oh, hey, Ariel, what's up? Remember last Thursday when we went out? She's like, yeah. It was really fun. He's like, yeah. So what's up, guys? What'd you say about us Thursday when you went out?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
What's up, Joe? Why are you saying that, Joe? Come on, Joe.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
he's like well it's not that i want and he starts doing this thing where he's grabbing his head he's like oh no i just got caught but i don't want you to break up uh uh and aria just shakes her head like and you thought i was gonna keep that to myself joe you're really up joe he's like the last thing i want to do is like and on a bad note with my best friend he's like then why are you saying it joe
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And so Joe tells us, I don't have any facts. I don't want to say it, but Will's not a great drunk. And when he gets to that level, he's just not the greatest guy. I mean, he's drunk in my apartment going to the bathroom with another girl. It doesn't seem that far-fetched that he would make out with another girl when he went to law school. Duh, I just say it.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So then Will's at mom's house. Will's at his mom Katie's house. And I love Katie. She's like, oh, God, I've given birth to a fucking moron. You know? Just cut that. She's got an English lady mother. She's like, well, I haven't seen you in a few days. So what do you have to do to get ready to go to law school?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Um, well, you gave reasons why people should watch it, but are they watching it? I don't know. Okay. You know what? It's not about what they should do because this is America. People don't do what they should do. They do what they do. That's just how people are. Okay. So Southern Hospitality, I'm looking at ratings Bravo on X who would love you. Love your work. Thanks so much for what you give us.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
It's going to be nice to not have to sit down to read Goldilocks to you every night. Not because I don't like reading to you, but it is hard having to explain who Goldilocks is every single night. She's a little girl going from home to home. I mean, come on.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
he's like yeah well guess what everybody's being mean to me he's like joe sucks joe's being mean about my relationship and um he tells us my mom has a really stiff upper lip and when i told her i was going to apply to law school she was like i always knew you would but i didn't want to tell you to that's how she got me to do it she's so smart
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Will's so full of shit, he's clearly setting this relationship- he's clearly setting Emi up to break up with her. Or he's setting her up to be like, well, so I cheated, but I told you I was worried, babe. I told you. But he's just mad that he's getting called out on it early, you know? And he's like, mom, I miss you. I'm gonna miss you. And I'm gonna miss the doc. And the boat.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And what else am I going to miss? She's like, Emmy, the girlfriend. He goes, right. And we just get a boom.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Askum. Assistant General Manager, Mom. Askum. That's what I've been calling it to your father. Tell me where I can really remember her name. Askum. Askum.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
They got 0.257 million viewers. Sounds like a hit to me.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And he's like, yeah, totally got new shorts. So they take the machines in and get ready for the carnival party. And they're really into this carnival thing today.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
not creative like yeah let's do like instead of circus we could do like carnies it'll be fun we'll just keep up with this carnival theme it's going to be amazing why did they do that that's so weird and then guess where else they have a carnival theme on summer house yeah spoiler which we're about to cover after this crazy so uh joe brad and will are are talking and brad's like um where's your head out will and he's like you know
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Like, oh no, where's your head at with Will? And he's like, you know, look, he laid into me by the dumpster. And Joe's like, yeah, because he had a problem with you. He's like, well, we haven't had the easiest summer, me and Will. He's been pretty ruthless with me.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So Joe's like, but dude, I love Will. I'm worried about our friendship right now. I'm worried about a lot. Dude's like, well, I don't think he knows that anymore.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Yeah, like, you also say Maddie's one of your best friends, and you say horrible things about Maddie, so, like, what do you say about us when we're not around? But I do consider her one of my best friends, and you guys, like, too, but, like, I feel like I'm just getting pulled out from all these angles.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Does that account for DVRs? People say that that's the only thing that... That that doesn't matter anymore. That is not true. Because when live numbers for... Shows like Beverly Hills are over a million people are like, oh my God, Bravo still got it. So like, we can't have it both ways. But maybe, you know, maybe there's just like zillions of people watching on streaming.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So now we're at the party and TJ comes up to Emmy and he's like, oh my God, we came up with games. You have to see our games. Come on up. Cause I made them about law. Okay. You want to see them? Okay. So one is like you throw darts at a board and it's called the verdict. And then another one you dunk for apples, but it's called objection. Isn't that hilarious?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Yeah, thanks for gatekeeping carnival game names. It's been a lot of fun. So, Grace is like, let's see some cards. So, she's talking to this guy, Damien, at the bar. And she's like, let's play some cards. And he goes, okay. And she's like, I don't know any cards besides tarot cards, though. And he goes, what'd you read on me? And she goes...
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
It's been a crazy summer ever since I escaped limb. I'm just feeling this new evolution.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
It's a chapter. It's a chapter in my life. But no matter what, I'm going to keep it wavy, baby. Because I always come to sparkle and shine.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So then Sammy walks up with Brad, because of course she does. And she looks kind of terrified, you know? And Maddie sees them and she's like, oh, fuck Brad. Whoa, whoa now, whoa. He just can't help himself, can he? I'm about to see red, because I've like closed this door and Brad is being messy as fuck. And it's also just like weird to bring this girl.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
I don't know because they don't ever release those numbers. So we never know the truth about that.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Because like, if this is your client, where's your HR? Because this is not appropriate. Like there needs to be a line between personal trainers and clients.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
I was like, okay, Fran. Or she's just kicking someone's ass before you said to do it, you know, because she just can't help herself. She's ready to fight, you know, fucking Frans. So Brad's like, yeah, well, I know this is like Joe's going away party, but if Maddie wants to talk to Sammy, go ahead. Let the sparks fly.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So Trevor's talking to Maddie and he's like, let's handle this together. She goes, no, I'm going to handle it because I know how to handle bitches, period.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
It's already awkward enough. They've got limbo at the very corner of the roof deck.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So she opens the front door and shows her the way out, and she's like, there, now I've heard all I need from you, and you're a fucking liar, so have a nice day. Bye, bitch! And she closes the door and locks it behind her. And Sammy's like... And Fran's like, you good? You want me to beat the shit out of her? She's like, no, I got it.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And Sammy's just kind of smiling like, this is not this girl's house. Like, what is she doing? I can just go around the back fence.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Matt comes back to the door to make sure that this girl's not trying to get in, right? So Mia's outside. She's like, you're not the bad guy here. Don't worry. We're going to get her. And then Maddie is screaming at them from behind the door, making her, like, gunfinger. She's like... Bye. You guys have fun outside then. Go home, sweetie. Go home, skank. Bye, stupid. You smell funny.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
You smell like beef jerky, dummy. You're ugly. No one likes you, okay? Fran will kill you. Fran will fucking murder Fran. Tell them you're a murderer. Fran's like, I'm a murderer. And then they show up from the other side of the door and they can't hear one thing she's saying. And Mia's like, it's proof. The glass is proof.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So Brad is telling Sammy, he's like, yeah, I think when people don't want to succumb to something that's true, they try to, like, push it out. Yeah, like, literally pushing her out of the house. So then Maddie's telling Caitlin, she's like, okay, like, you're not going to stay out of my business. You're...
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Oh yeah. So she's like, oh yeah, they're going to stay out of my business and not meddle. Yeah, right. You're still doing it, motherfucker.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So now Emmy pulls Joe aside for a talk. And it's like, Joe, Joe, just let me talk, Joe. Joe, I'm so upset, Joe. Joe, I'm really hurt, Joe. Just listen, Joe. For you to say me and Will are going to break up and then the way that you've treated me after I got this promotion. Joe, I mean, I believe that you look at me like your little sister, but you would not do this to your little sister, Joe.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
He's like, well, you walk in here with this confident, arrogant thing, and, like, you assume you're my boss. Rub me the wrong way, okay? And, like, maybe it's my ego, but, like, I'm admitting it. I'm admitting it. She goes, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. Take a deep breath with me, Joe. Okay, take a breath with me. I'm worried about you, Joe.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
I know you feel the world's against you, but our friendship matters, Joe. I'm worried about you, Joe.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
oh it's like we're family remember when we had that meeting and we're like we clean together because we're family together so and she's like yeah well i need actions not words joe actions not words actions okay all right you you got to talk to will because that's an uphill battle that's an uphill battle joe don't fuck it up joe
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
You've actually given it too much credit by putting intelligence in the description. So let's go to the circus party. We're still at this 10th anniversary. It's like the 10th anniversary. It's like crazy. Love it. She's like, wow. It's like amazing.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
No autographs, all right? No one's stopping. He just looks so sad. He's, like, knee-deep in dunk tank water, just being ignored in his sad little Speedo.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
What a dream. I just always wanted to be that guy, you know? The guy that went to law school.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So Joe watches this and he's like, my biggest fear in life is not being the glue. And right now, I'm not the glue. I went from being the leader of this group to like the loser in the group. That's my nightmare.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Yeah, well, let's go outside, baby. Come on, Will. Let's go outside and talk about it. And he goes, oh, yeah? You want to take it outside, dog? Because Will's, like, ready to fight. Like, he's ready to come to blows that someone actually has the opinion that he's going to break up on the girlfriend that he's constantly caught cheating on. So he goes out.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
By the way, they are going to break up, right? I can't believe that wasn't at the end that they broke up. I was waiting for it. So Will's like, I can't let you off the hook anymore. You know, like he insulted my relationship. He tried to tear down my love. I mean, what am I even getting out of this friendship at this point? I'm starting to look like a fool.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
I was just talking to Emmy's best friend, okay? Because, like, she knows Emmy the best.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Well, look, I'm just saying long distance is hard. We're brothers, man.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Joe's like, it was a big stab in the heart for me. It's like, fuck you, you fucking pussy Joe. You're a pussy Joe.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And then Will's like, yeah, well, some people pretend to be your friends, but they're not really your friends. I'm over it. This is more fireworks and more parking. The dummies on this show. I love this show. Just the dialogue of this show kills me. So then Mia is telling Sam, like, come here, come here. Like, you're not leaving, okay? Like, listen, you should go talk to Maddie.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
I think she's just pissed at her own situation. Keep it going. Come on, keep it going.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Unlike the seed that he put in someone else's mouth at that dumpster. But carry on.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So she's like, Maddie, you guys should talk, right? And Maddie goes, okay, you can sit right there, sweetheart. Maddie's like, Maddie, I'm trying to root for you here, okay? I'm trying to be team Maddie. You make it kind of difficult.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And she goes, um, I have my truth. Okay. What does that mean? I don't believe in the term my truth. That means you're lying and that you don't want to talk about the truth. So you have your truth. I think your truth is the biggest hokey bullshit. It's like next to triggered in my dictionary of like modern stupidity. So I don't buy that one. I think Maddie's a fucking liar. What do you think?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
I think Sammy's a fucking liar. I think Sammy purposely went and tried to bait this guy and videotape it to get on TV, and it worked. I do think she was in cahoots with Bradley. I mean, I know it sounds crazy, like, who in their right mind would do that? But I do believe that she's a fucking liar. But I also think that Trevor was...
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Okay. So then she's like, well, I have the conversation now. So I heard it. She goes, do you have the whole 15 minute conversation? This is also why Sammy's lying. She says, how long was this conversation? It's gone from 20 minutes to 30 minutes to now 15 minutes. How long is it?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And so, of course, Bradley is listening to this. And he's like, wait a minute. Are you guys hearing this? You overheard the whole thing. And then we see Rewind. I was on the phone call with Trevor. With Trevor. With Trevor.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Yeah, so now what is she doing? So now everybody's just lying all the time on this show.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
but then bradley's like well thinking back on it it's coming back together because she orchestrated the whole thing and this recording came up in miami and so we see a clip at the group dinner where grace is like wait y'all you don't understand i spoke to the girl well i mean i don't know her name and i didn't speak to her but i was told there was a conversation between trevor and that girl and it's been recorded and uh she said she made it up she admitted it and maddie's like stop it grace stop that so
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
This has already come out. So Maddie went to this dinner pretending that she didn't have this recording because she was going to hold this recording until the end of the thing to make them all look stupid or what?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
I don't really understand. None of this makes any sense, but it's so funny thinking that Maddie really thinks she did something. Okay, I'm going to go to Miami and then you show up in Miami and I'm going to like act really surprised and you can have like a bomb ass car too. And I'll be like, everyone hurt my feelings there. And then we'll just wait. And then like it's a season finale.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
I'm going to like reveal the call and they're all going to look fucking stupid.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
I'm the bitch that fights. Everybody knows that I'm the bitch that fights. Ask anybody. Ask Fran. Even she knows.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
She's the bitch that fights. So we cut back to her and she's like, you need to stay the fuck away from my work and my boyfriend and my life, bitch. And Trevor's like, oh, can I step in here? And she's like, yeah, you do it. And Sammy's like, I'm out of here. So Madison's like, you're leaving. You sit the fuck down. And she jumps up and tries to grab her.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And the fireworks are going off. And she's like trying to pretend she's calm. She's like, we love you fireworks. Happy 4th. We love that. We love that, right? Love fireworks. And Trevor's like, you're my little firework. And they're like, yeah. And then that's the end. And then it says three weeks later.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.
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Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.
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The highest tally, it's Sarah McNally.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Yeah. Okay. Okay. So then we should talk about it. So then she's like, yeah. And then, um, I talked to her and then Trevor's like, yeah, I literally called Sammy recorded the conversation. And then we see the conversation and Sammy's like, I just shouldn't have done what I did. And Trevor's like, like set me up. And she's like, I
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
All right, girl, listen, Leah CEO talking here. I don't want to get stern-o with you, but I will if I have to. Why aren't you laughing? That was a Chafer joke.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
She's not even wearing the circus colors. Like, some maroon, maybe? Or something. She's wearing, like, light peach. And it's because, guys, she is the AGM. The Assistant General Manager. We have come up with a position just to watch Maddie spiral out of control. There wasn't even this position before, but we have come up with a position just to watch everybody go fucking crazy.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Yeah, that cardboard, that crumpled up cardboard bag or cardboard, you know what I'm trying to say?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Okay, so now there's, like, circus dancing and circus-themed things happening. And Joe and Maddie are talking. And Joe's freaking out about this, too, because now Emmy is Joe's boss, right? And he's like, what? You're not my boss. And she's like, yeah, I am. And that's why I'm telling you, you need to go cut a lime right now. I'm not here to make friends.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Like, I don't want that.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
and then Emmy's over talking to Will and she's like well guess what I'm here to set an example and if you don't like that and if you don't follow it real quick then there's going to be a problem with you okay because I'm an assistant general manager but I also don't have a problem assisting you to the general exit where you're going to be exiting after I tell you to exit because I'm an assistant general manager now Will yeah he's going to learn real quick how this is going to go okay because guess what Joe
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
you really fucked up joe you really really fucked up and will is getting all steamed up too but he's dressed as marcel marceau which makes this hilarious because marcel marceau wasn't in a circus um but he's like well he's gonna learn real quick how this is gonna go down why are you climbing down why are you why are you miming climbing down a mountain with a rope well marcel marceau
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
She's got a much more important ass to grab now, man.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And then he comes in and she's like, guys, there's something wobbling on table 10. Table 13 is literally on fire. I'm an assistant manager now. Do we have limes? Why is this floor so hard? I'd like a softer floor. Somebody take care of that, please. Thank you.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
Does anybody have the keys to the glass cage that Will is locked in right now? Anybody?
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And Will's like, that guy's ego is so fucking huge. It's honestly sad to watch. And it's infuriating at the same time.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
So then Olivia is there, because she's like a star, guys. She's a huge star. Olivia and Vinita are there. So let's take a minute to calm down our impressed vibes, because this is huge. We can tell, because the show's like, oh my God, look who's here. It's... people from Southern Charm. So then Lava's out talking to them and they're like, oh my God, Lava, this is like so amazing.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
She's like, yeah, this is amazing. She goes, yeah, it is amazing. It's been 10 years. We've had a bar for 10 years.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And then outside, Maddie's like, guys, thanks for coming out tonight. This is Leva. I'm saying this is the DJ right now. Wiggy, wiggy. Here's Leva. Leva, take it away. Okay, wait, hold on. Take it away, Leva. And she's like, guys, welcome to the circus. Okay. It's been crazy that we went from an idea to creating what we think is the epicenter of Charleston downtown. Guys, we had an idea.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
And then the girls come out with the sign, the cake, and it's a party. Everybody's partying all over the place. And Joe is talking to Leva and Chris outside. And Joe's like, wow, 10 years, wow, that's like a decade, you know? It's just such a joke. Let that sink in. It's just such a joke thing to say. Wow, that's like a decade.
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#2672 Southern Hospitality S2 Finale Repost: Southern Hostility
She's like, you may think you're talking to a little girl with a dream, because I was a little girl with a dream, but now I'm a woman. And that dream has come true. And I've been here a decade. So you better watch your fucking whore mouth, Joe. And he's like, well, he's not going to come up to me and boss me around. That's not going to fucking happen.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
this is um basically uh some homely people who don't no one's told them they're home i don't know how to explain the crowd outside of republic but the way they talk about republic and then seeing the crowd i was like is is there a tommy bahama shirt sale like what's happening
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
It's the after bar for Top Cop. So we see shots of the bar, which I still cannot tell how big this place is. It looks like a hallway. It doesn't look very big. And we hear that it's very small too. So it's not like my visual, my eyes are doing all that much work. We hear it's really tiny, but it's amazing how they shoot it to look like it could be bigger, right? But it's not.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
But he's a deuce. He's a total deuce, which I love. He's like a long-haired, hot deuce. I think from... Yeah. Is he from Ireland? Where is he from? He's from... No, I think he's from Tulum. I think he might... Well, I don't know. I mean, his accent sounds... He talk like that, doesn't he? Talks like that. Well, it's not Irish either, isn't it? But sounds like that. It's talking like that.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
You're gonna hear Tulum a lot because we are watching Southern Hospitality. They say Tulum a lot on this show. I mean, they love Tulum. They love it. So Leva, Joey Marbles gives Oisin a fist bump. He's like, oi! So then Leva's like, Republic is like the true essence of Southern Hospitality. Oh, really? Republic is the true essence of Southern Hospitality? Leva, is it?
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
It's like, yeah, that's why we've been in business for 10 years.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Yeah, good job. Yeah, kind of. I was worried because Below Deck Med's ending, and I was like, where are we going to use a really terrible Lucky Charms accent again? I'm so glad. By the way, there's no one Irish on Below Deck Med this year. Still use it.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
So Leva's like, there's like tons of competition in Charleston, but people come to my club because my VIP team is going to always get the party started. Okay. Do you even know what you're saying? Are you just reading these off cue cards? You know the plot for the rest of the show, right? Because you're literally leading it. Leva.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
I think it's still funny that they're using, it's funny that they're still using this. Like my team is going to party it up.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Like when I go to Chili's, I really want to know that my waiter enjoys an awesome blossom just as much as I do. You know what I mean?
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
so it's a busy night in the club and TJ you know in his like persnickety starting little way it's like um is Maddie here and they're like no where is Maddie well Maddie's never here so Chris the new general manager who's just kind of schlubby he's kind of a Barney role he goes and finds Maddie in the kitchen and she's cleaning her shoes and he goes what you doing bud just like uh cleaning my shoes they get dirty all right bud
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Well, listen, but I'm going to need you in the meeting because I don't have time to relay this information again. All right. You're going to get it in the meeting and that's it.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
And it's like the same room. Is it a different room?
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
So they're in the meeting. And Oystein's like, I can't believe we're not allowed to have a baby. Like, we're not allowed. Can you believe it? And Maddie's like, yeah, I know. We're all really upset about it right now. But you know what? We just got to keep going. We just got to keep going.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Yeah, because I'm in finance. And so it's so nice to come to work and just chill because I'm in finance. So then Leva, back to Leva, she's like, yeah, it's my fault because I do like to be a friendly boss. I'm not a fucking monster. I get first chances and second chances and third chances and fourth chances and fifth chances and sixth. Leva, could you guys just edit out half of Leva's monologue?
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
I would just like to request a new rule on there. Wash your hands. Okay? Because I've seen this show. That rule needs to be somewhere on this show. Wash your fucking hands.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Well, she just said it in her line before, which is why I was cracking up that she even said it. She's like, my VIP party, it's going to make sure you're partying right. Because they're like, she kind of insinuates that they're partying with you. And last year, that was her thing. They were like, people come to people come to Republic because we're the best people to party with.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
And we party with you. And you don't just get access to Republic. You get access to me. That was kind of their big thing. So for her to be like, oh, and now you can't drink when you party with the guys is just weird. I don't know. It's weird. It's a weird line. It's obviously trying to go for a drama or trying to just fire people that maybe she wanted to fire anyway. I don't know. Yeah.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Yeah, you're a real Baldwin over there sliver. It's like that movie Sliver where she's got like 20 video cameras. You don't even have room for 20 video cameras. One is the outside of her garage at home. Well, I guess my husband's home, so that's good.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
I just want to see who's buying satin dresses with giant ruffles on them today.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
yeah well we all we all miss her okay guys so here's what we're gonna do we're gonna burn some sage because she loves sage so in honor of lucia who's dead now let's burn sage and then we see a clip at lucia's apartment her kids like running around playing and she's like i'm terminated by text message i told i'm told lucia pena is no longer employed at republic
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
And he's like, oh my God, you did drink on the job and we're not supposed to drink on the job, right? Like, is that what happened? I'm in finance, so.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
And Mia's like, literally firing a single mother for a first offense? I mean, that is nuts.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Because the kid's just sitting there, like staring. Oh, yeah. So then we go back to the meeting, and Mia's like, guys, like, you know that before I started to work here, I was a patron here because I can afford to be? Finance. And Lucia was my favorite bottle service girl, so I'm just going to say that.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Maddie and Joe come in and Joe's like, I'm going to say some business stuff right now. So listen, guys, we're going to do a good job pushing people tonight, turning things over, really rolling over everything, turning, turning, turning. We're going to stack it and we're going to pile it. Everybody got it. This is the business.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Well, it's always fun. I love this show. You know, it's an old waiter back in my day, an old service queen myself. Of course, I love waiting table shows. And this one is so funny because it's in this town, Charleston, where they all feel like they're like superstars and the next Hollywood because of Southern charm. Right.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Now, I know you haven't actually worked here, you know, since we stopped shooting, so just practice, okay, Grace? Give us, what are you gonna say at the front door?
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
No, reel it in a little bit, Grace. Reel it in a little bit.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Yeah, he tried to profess his love for Maddie once she already was getting back together with Trevor. And then when he didn't get it with her, he tried with Mia. And then was like, I mean, come on. When they both confronted him together, he's like, I mean, come on. I'm hitting on you after I just told my best friend I'm in love with her? Do you even think that was real? So he was kind of a douche.
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It's, like, really hard for me to wink. I'm going to try winking. I like that they gave him, like, Joey Marbles 2.0. There's always got to be a guy who's coming back as the newest version of themselves on these shows. So Joe introduces Oisin on his first night as the new bottle boy. And Maddie's like, yeah, Grace Lilly and I met Oisin in Tulum. Because where else?
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And he's like, Team Money, that's what we're here for. Team Money, who's the... I was running a lot of events out in Tulum, secluded parties out in the middle of the jungle in Mexico.
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Yeah, this guy's fucking for money out in the middle of the jungle. He just doesn't want to pay for a hotel room. So Grace is like, yeah, he was dancing on the tables, dancing with all the hot girls. And Maddie's like, yeah, in an orange fucking Speedo, which was kind of oddly attractive. Like we had a moment, but it was just a moment.
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And then we see Leah, the most awkward person on this show, walking around like, I'm going to hand out an infraction to somebody. Who's going to get an infraction? You got time to lean? You got time to clean? That's an infraction. Watch it, mister.
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So there's all these influencers there now and they really feel like they're hot shit.
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Yeah, she wears business-y clothes that just don't fit her right. My guess is that poor Leah does not have one well-tailored outfit that fits well. She's just walking around in a bunch of rayon things with collars going, infraction, infraction. And then we learn one of her favorite things to say later is, you know what we're going to do? Nip it in the bud. That's what we're going to do.
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So the meeting is coming to a start. So Oisin ashes out the sage on the table. Maddie's like, wait a minute, you have to clean that. We have to keep it clean back here now, guys. And he's like, it's all right, darling. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it. And he's like, oh my God, you're literally going to be fired right now.
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and season two of any show people come back with season two face on where they're like okay this is what people think of me and this is i know the game now and this is what i'm gonna do and it's just so funny to me the things that they came back with like the like emmy and will decided that they're gonna come back and get revenge on maddie who I don't think ever did anything to them.
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So in case you guys are not buying that this is totally LA Hollywood and only famous people come here, welcome Olivia from Southern Charm and some creepy friends that she has.
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So Oyston's like, Amy, babe, you're going to show me some tricks or what? What am I supposed to do here tonight? Is there any kind of training? And she's like, I'll go order a bottle of Dom, okay? And then guess what? We're going to bring it out with glow sticks because that's what we do here. And he's like, wait a minute. What about the signs? Are we going to bring out the sign?
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And Brad, I think Joe goes, yeah, you know what? We should bring out a sign. And you know what he should say? Hold on. Let me think about it.
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superstars that's what it should say that's good that's good superstars go for it joe go do it this is why we get the poetry of republic superstars so leva goes to see leah ceo and her assistant michelle in the green room and she's like okay guys does it like smell like weed in here Do you even pretend to work here?
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They just said that Lucia lit sage every single night here and you don't recognize the smell? Yeah. Replace. I vote replace Leva with Leah, a CEO.
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Yeah, just got rid of Sage. That's going in the handbook. And Leva's like, yeah, you know what else Sage is? A fire hazard. And then he goes, yeah, pretty much. Pretty much.
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So she's like, okay, Leah. She's like, okay, Leah, you're the hammer. So just give a monologue to the camera. She's like, I don't really know how to do that. Just go ahead, Leah. Just make it up. You're a boss, okay? You're in Rayon. And she's like, okay. Listen, I can do this because I'm not emotional. You know why? Because we're running a business.
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So let me do the dirty work so we can keep rocking and rolling the way we're supposed to. infractions.
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But they're like, you know what? We're gonna have a Maddie takedown season. Everyone's decided like this is gonna be a huge Maddie takedown season. And I just think it's so funny. It's like, What, is she even a captain? Like, what is she considered at the job? Like, she's so nice to you. She doesn't even tell you guys to stop drinking. Like, why are you taking down Maddie? What'd she do?
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yeah you guys no one can handle stress of republic except for the woman who dealt with a seafood buffet all day seafood buffet she's here guys we got her yeah we got her so leah's like so leah's like sage stinks it's gross and it's a mess we gotta nip that in the bud
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And Maddie says, all of our guests are superstars because all of our tables are superstars. It's like, you're special, just like everyone else. Meemaw's favorite bumper sticker. So then we see a group of tacky, dried-haired girls partying. And one of the girls is telling Oisin, she's like, oh my God, you should do a shot with me. He's like, I want to do a shot. Can I do a shot, Maddie?
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Maddie, can I do one? She's like, I'm walking away. You do whatever you want. I cannot see anything. Um, and then he's like, oh my God, do not do a shot. You're going to lose your job. Totally. Don't do it. Don't do it. He's like, I've got that. I got that. Orison will be doing shots later this season.
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Well, Emmy is coming for Maddie's gig, I think, right? Probably. Maddie doesn't even care about anything that goes on at Republic, but I told Oisin not to drink, so I basically own this place now.
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so back i'm being serious i'm not cracking jokes here this is a serious thing for me yeah you're very you're very pro clean apartment you know so we go back into the meeting room green room area and leah who's just doing way too much for her first episode just keeps pointing at the sage stain on the table over and over like
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i mean sage can you believe it there was sage there so and love is like yeah well this is stressing me out so i have friends that i need to go say hi to so you can deal with it and lee's like yeah well guess what i got a sage stain on the table i need to chop some balls off over i am fury yes taking care of business here i come leah ceo
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So then Mia is with her guests and she's like, guys, I want to drink with you and like party with you, but I'm not allowed to anymore because someone just got fired for drinking and she's a single mom. So, I mean, listen, I'm at Republic for good vibes. And guess what? This isn't, it's so not good vibes. That's what it is.
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Right. I know all the guests are going to be sad that the employees aren't drinking out of their $100 champagne. I know.
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So they're all talking about how stressful it is not to drink. And Grace Lilly is like, yeah, it's like when your parents went out of town and you throw a party and then all of a sudden their car comes at the driveway. That's how it feels like.
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I'm not sure I would be a comeback to the scene of the crime, but I mean, this soon, guys? And Chris goes, oh, my God, Lucia's here? She got fired for drinking on the job. Call national security. Get her. Tackle her. So Lucia and Emmy talk. And Lucia's like, I have to talk to Leva. Like, I do not want to talk to Leva. Like, this is about to be, like, the hottest summer ever.
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She literally improvised, or pantomimed herself holding a glass up to her ear and going, what?
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So, like, I do have to talk to her. You never know what's going to happen this summer at Republic. It's going to be huge.
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She's like, is there smudge stain here? There better not be because that's disgusting. It's for deviants. And so Lava is back watching her video screens and she's like, who is behind that bar? And Leah comes into the office and she's like, sorry to interrupt, but...
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hold on i and she starts like doing this pointing like you know how people like point and they're like telling you off with their finger she does that when she talks she's like um i just did a lap and lucia is here point
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And so Lucy is talking to TJ and he's like, um, I guess if I were you, like I would send her a text in the morning after you vacuumed. And she's like, um, I haven't received any communication from that. I guess. Okay. But then send her a text or an email after you lube up your Dyson and make sure that it's in working order. And she's like, um, I've been sending emails to talk about my termination.
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Um, it's you're basically, uh, like landing California right now. Faulted.
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And Levis says, well, if we brought her back, like, what kind of example would that be to the rest of the staff? She's like, yeah, right. It would be chaos. It wouldn't be right. I mean, pants are dresses now. You know, clouds are... Clouds are rainbows. I mean, what are you going to do? Topsy-turvy, upside down. We can't handle this.
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And as for the rest of the employee morale, we have to nip it in the bud. We are going to nip this in the point circle bud.
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So then Maddie's outside listening at the office door and Grace slowly comes over and she's like, hi, what's going on? I went, shh, I'm listening at the door.
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Maddie's like, she's talking shit. She goes, who's she? It's lover's office, Grace.
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She's got Lucia in the club and she's like, oh my God, finally I had a chance to stop away from all that not drinking I'm doing. So what's going on with you, girl? And she's like, oh, you know, just checking on the state of the state. She goes, yeah, well, you know me, I respect big balls. And she's like, you think I have big balls right now? She goes, yeah, you're coming to talk to Leva?
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And let me tell you, she may not be out here, but she is in the building right now.
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Because Lava is being a wuss. She's like sitting out there, seeing her on the video screen, but like refusing to come out to like confront it. You know, she's just hiding in her office.
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Yeah, she had that place down the street that she rented last year. Yeah, I remember that plot where she's like, I rented a place because I need an office. Yeah.
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Hold on. Let me just answer this call. The caller ID says, Bud. Let me say it. Bud. Nick!
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You are Nick! So then Mia and Lucy are talking and Mia's like, I'll bet she's in that back room somewhere. Let me check. I got you, girl.
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thank god for mia so bradley is asking where maddie is and so this is where they're all hatching their plans like to make maddie look stupid so bradley's like where's maddie and emmy's like i don't know she's like the manager of this place and she's nowhere to be found he goes yeah well that's not surprising
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Cut back to Emma, just Emmy being, just like continue on her like weird plot. She's like, you know what? We need to talk to Maddie about keeping her personal life and her private life separate.
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It's so funny. And Bradley's like, yeah, well, now that Maddie and Trevor are back together, she's been living in Delulue, in Delusionland. Yeah, we know what Delulue is, Bradley. Thanks for the clarification. And he goes, he goes, she's become very complacent at work. Is it surprising? No, but it doesn't surprise me. Well, you're just answering your own questions.
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so then maddie is with me in the kitchen now and she's like um okay i got a little wind from what's going on from behind the door and lava wants an apology from lucia and me it goes she wants lucia to apologize for what and she's like drinking she's like well i'll tell you this No fucking way. And I gotta ask, what's the hypocrisy here? And Leva comes, she's like right behind them.
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This place is maybe five feet big, this whole place. So Leva comes out and she's like, um, hi, how are you guys? And she's doing her like, I'm looking at my phone right now because I'm very busy. Hi guys, you doing something? Swiping on my phone, so...
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And now they're having like a standoff because she's going to tell Leva off, which I don't know where she really thought this was going to go. So Leva says, I mean, yeah, like her apology would mean a lot. I mean, like if I was in her position, I mean, like somebody is like...
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you know helped me like somebody's like employed me or they've like brought me back or like brought me opportunities and he says brought her back from what you mean from having a baby she goes um yeah she goes okay so after maternity leave basically like what normal companies do for women what the is lava doing by the way as well on the scene
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that was like hypocrisy what are you talking about like normally people give birth and then they're put into the meat grinder like i didn't make the rules that's just how the world works i mean look around how many mothers do you see in charleston they're all dead okay so like and by the way there's no hypocrisy if you're in the back of the house and you're drinking you're fired and that's the rule have you read the manual for being hired
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Leah wrote it. Leah wrote it on Cleric Works.
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yeah um well i think it's a little unfair because we constantly give tj for always vacuuming and that brings me to my first complaint which is why didn't we get any shots of tj vacuuming you guys can't give us an entire season that revolves around tj vacuuming his apartment and then come back this season and we don't see him vacuum a once
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Well, she's doing that thing. I think where we, I don't know if we've all done it. I have where I'm like, I'm going to fight with my boss. I'm going to tell my boss off. It never goes well. I've tried it multiple times. It has never gone well. So Leva's like, yeah, if you drink back here, you're done. She goes, yeah, I don't understand. And Mia says, employees have drank back here so many times.
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And she goes, oh, really? Well, who did then? Like, who did I keep here that was drinking back here? And Mia just looks around and there's no one there. So she goes, me. She goes, oh, really? Then you're gone too, Mia. You're fired. Clock out. Good night. Bye.
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not mia's brightest moment okay at least pick someone you don't like so stupid but at least mia was smart enough to get leva admitting on camera like yeah i brought that girl back after maternity like after giving birth like i'm a good person yeah i've done great things so leva's
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You've already been fired, Mia. And she says that. She's like, Mia, you're fired. Like, you're not an employee any longer. So, like, your butt just got nipped. And Mia goes, okay, then. We're done. And she goes, okay. And also, you don't need to be in the back of the building. Go. Out. Go.
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So then, well, she did tell her, this is your boss. So maybe you shouldn't. Mia was just on one. So then Mia storms out and she goes past Lucy and she goes, oh, no, now we're both fired. And, you know, she fired me because I said I had a shot during a shift. And so everyone like starts freaking out. And then Leah goes up to Leva and she's like, are we okay here? Are we okay?
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And Leva's like, she was just like, I drank on my shift all the time and then you let me stay here. And I'm like, no, I didn't because I didn't know you drank on your shift. That girl is never going to work for me in any capacity anywhere ever again. Consider her someone who just gave birth.
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So then the girls are talking outside to me and Lucia and Grace Lily's saying, I mean, I don't agree with it whatsoever, but I think that, you know, like all of us, like, I think that we all kind of feel the way you feel.
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No one knows what she's talking about. And Emmy's like, this is bullshit. I'm shook. So then we see TJ talking to Maddie and Madison's like, yeah, I mean, Maddie's like, yeah, you know, Mia was speaking to her in a way that like she really gave Levin no choice but to fire her.
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Who am I? So Mia is still going on outside. She's like, well, my friendship with Lucia means more to me than this job. I couldn't give a fuck, really. And Grace Lily's like, yeah, well, they were the good friends. She goes, I'm leaving. And she just, like, storms off and Lucia stays. Like, Lucia doesn't really feel the same. She's gonna get her damn job back.
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Yeah, so then Grace is smudging and she's on her balcony and she's like, please, God, protect me from feeling a lot of different energies. Could you be more specific? Just what energy today?
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So we go to Oisin looking in his mirror and he's like, I'm still beautiful. Thank God. And then we get a song.
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Every song on this show is about how young they are and how it's all going to end soon. And I love that Trixie Monacle has learned, you know, she's like, you're young now, you'll be old tomorrow. Today is up, tomorrow you're a slag. It's like, damn, geez, Trixie, wind up.
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So then next day is a meeting. So everybody's coming to do this group meeting about not drinking. And Will is there in his sling, hot. And then Emmy is dressed in the same fabric as Joey's velvet headboard, which is weird. And Mikkel's there. We haven't seen him. And there's new girls in the area. Say it again? Yeah.
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He's here. And so Leah starts it. I mean, Lovah starts it. Leah's in some kind of a formal ball gown, which doesn't really make sense.
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I guess. It was like, yeah, this is when I'm nominated for Best Boss of the Year. So it was the gala. This is the Holiday Inn gala. I'm going to.
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So, um... Okay, so Levo's saying, okay, guys, obviously it's not been the best week, but, like, we lost Amiya, we lost Lucia, but guess what? You know what Leah always says? Leah, say it. No, not that one. The other thing. The other thing, Sage is for slut.
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It's like, there's nothing we can do when you guys break the rules. And that's just how it goes. And Leah goes, I'm gonna make it crystal clear right now. Drinking is never permitted in Republic Garden and Lounge. And we are not going to allow that behavior any longer. Not in this garden. Not in this lounge.
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Because TJ is naturally like that. He's like naturally persnickety. Like I really do think he's like a young version of the church lady from SNL, the Dana Carver, Dana Carvey character. Like...
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And Lava's like, I want you to make money because guess what? The next few years for this company are gonna be epic. They are gonna be epic. And Leah's like, guys, we love you all. You are all rock stars and this is a family. I can't believe she didn't add that because that is such the restaurant manager thing to say. Like, guys, we're all family here. Let's not forget.
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Yeah, and Joey Marbles is like, this job is like not some side hustle for me. I didn't go back to college because my passion for this, this is my career. I'm Joey Bottles and I can't lose that.
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Rocky, hopefully Joey Marbles can have tequila at work again.
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I'm choosing the one that relies on my good looks and youth because what other decision is there really?
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So Bradley goes to do his personal training at a high-low gym. It's called high-low. And he's got a client named Sammy who is just not prepared to be on TV at all. I mean, it was just so sad. So Sammy's like, hi, oh my God, I'm so glad to work out with you. Like I've really needed to...
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have my ass kicked because i went out with my girlfriends and whoa did we live it up and have a have a hot ass girl time living it up on the town by the way do you know that guy who drives people around on his bike he was hitting on me and like trying to make out with me maddie who maddie's boyfriend who's maddie
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you know like really persnickety just judgy gay and i love it and i think maybe he's coming back a little bit more reserved because he got a lot of hate last season for being like that and so maybe he came back a tiny bit reserved but everybody else came back extra tje and so it's it's making us not really see tj as much because everybody else came back like i'm gonna be a mess this season you wait
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And he's like, did you make out? She goes, yeah. Serious? You would have no idea that he had a girlfriend. I feel so bad. I wish I had just seen her on a TV show so I could have known about it before any of this happened. This is crazy.
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And I love that he's just, it's the extra horrifying. I was in the alley getting my dick sucked by the raccoons and the trash.
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And Sam is like, do you want to see the text? Because I'm going to show them to you right now. Get the camera over here. Do it with your iPhone too. He's like, I'm totally taking a picture. Because you know why? Carmen's a nasty, fickly bitch.
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Yeah. So now we see Mia driving around town and she's behind a bike carriage and she's pissed off. She's like, get out of the way. As we all are, you know, I mean, it's very much how the entire cast feels towards Trevor, you know?
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What am I talking about? You know, I wrote a Vespa for years, right?
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So I was like- I remember when they used to have those billboards in LA that said, every lane is a bike lane. Oh my God. Those used to infuriate me. I was like, no, they're not. Every lane is not a bike lane. Because then the bicyclist would literally be in the middle of every lane. Like, every lane's a bike lane. Get the fuck out of the road, people.
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This isn't your neighborhood, okay? This isn't your leisurely stroll.
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He's the only person who gives me that, he's my like big love. He's my big love. So then we go to Grace Lilly's house and she's talking to her cat Fergie and she's like, you want your tarot cards read Fergie? Let's see what the stars got in line for you. We got the Empress and the Sun. That means I rule my emotions and they don't rule me.
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She's like, this year's all about self-care. I just want good energy. Anything negative, get shakin' away. Cause I'm trying to shake that ass. Yeah, get that cash.
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Does Grace Lilly make any sense to anybody? Like, first she's giving a reading to the cat, then the readings to herself, then she wants self-care, then she's shaking away negativity, then she's shaking her ass for a minute. It's like one just kind of thing strung to the next.
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So let's start going through this from the beginning. So we open with clips from last summer, random snippets on what went down. So Maddie just like trying to convince herself that she's like really happy. Like I'm with Trevor now. I'm like, we are really happy. So here's what happened to me last season. Republic is everything.
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So then over at Emmy's very clean apartment, which you love, Mia comes over and says, they make some small talk or whatever and emmy's talking about how she's so busy taking will to physical therapy all over town and she's like last time i was on track for like happy wife happy life but this year is will and his thing and i don't have a ring
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I was like, well, I was really disrespectful to Leva. I guess I can see that now. She says, yeah, well, you want to set up a meeting with Leva? She says, no. You know, like after an argument or heated discussion, you think back and say, I wish I did that better or I wish I did this better. Nope, not thinking that. I'm on a righteous high because I'm in finance. I'm not a high-nance high, so.
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And then Mia's like, wait, yeah, I am disappointed how she handled this entire dilemma. And I'm getting heated now just thinking about it. And Emmy's like, yeah, she's been with the company now, what, four years? And I feel like when she started dating Trevor, she lost her mojo with the company. And Mia goes, great point, Emmy. She goes, yeah. I mean, what is she?
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She's the face of Republic, remember? Yeah. What does that have to do with Mia drinking, like Mia yelling at Lava at work and calling her a hypocrite and then saying, I drink at work. What does any of this have to do with that?
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I went to Tulum where I saw Grace Lilly, but then, like, we both liked the same guy, so she got, like, totally pissed off at me for no reason. I'm totally sober, which you can absolutely tell from every single confession I have, like this one. And I ended up getting the man of my dreams, the guy who rides the horse and buggy bike. What do they call him, Ben?
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I think Trixie Monaco is just sitting there with a bottle of whiskey crying as she writes this music. We're so young.
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Wow. So then Maddie is talking to a customer and she's like, what do you do? And she's like just holding a blowing bubble machine. It's like blowing bubbles of her. She's like, oh my God, you're a DJ? I'm a DJ too.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
So Mikael comes in with some friends and they're doing that leading with the phone thing where you like come in and you're just like doing the, like Labo was doing earlier. Just like, I'm really busy because I have my phone out right now. And he's telling us he only works once a week now because he has another job. But when he comes, he parties and he shakes some ass and pops some bottles.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
And then his girlfriend is like spanking his ass. And he's like, yeah. Yeah. So then we go to shots of Taylor being really thirsty and lifeless at the same time. No, I don't feel bad for Taylor. I'm done feeling bad for Taylor.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Yeah, they can only get those two. Yeah, the other ones are like, we're not helping Leva. hell no so then we get um joe taking shots of soda water with the bridal party and uh he's like hey guys i know you guys thought i was taking the shot right now but it was really soda water because i'm not allowed to take shots i love
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
They're just like, what's Charleston like? She's like, this is what Charleston is like. Everyone's fucked each other and that's it. They're like, oh. So then Brad goes back to the, he goes to TJ at the bar and he's like, so one of my clients told me that she met Trevor out all night and made out with him.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
And then he was hitting her up all night, blowing up her phone, trying to get her to come home with him. And TJ's like, oh my God, that is a fucked. What? Sorry. This is vacuuming right now. Can we finish this later?
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
So back in the kitchen, Maddie's back there and like, what are you doing, bud? Cleaning my shoes. So how are you and Trevor? She's like, good, good. I just feel like we're at that point like where, you know, like we just don't like date for fun anymore. You know what I mean? Like now we're like dating, dating. And he goes, yeah, dating for fun is like stupid, right? Just, yeah, it's like so dumb.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
So now like we're happier and we're closer than ever. Know what I mean, Bradley?
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
So when you're dating Trevor, you know what I mean? And so she's like, well, I don't have time for Bradley and this bullshit. He just wants me unhappy. And then Brad's like, I mean, did he leave out the part where he was like making out with her and trying to grind on her? And Emmy's listening. She's like, look at me wiping down a dish, even though we don't have dishes here.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
So she storms out and Emmy's just like doing that pulling her hair thing that people do on these shows where they're like, oh my God, I'm crazy. Are my extensions still there? So then in the smoking alley, the smoking alley, she starts like calling Trevor over and over again. And it's like, hey, ding, ding, I'm on a bicycle right now. Ding, ding, brr, almost just got run over actually.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Okay. So she's like, I'm happy. That's basically her season. And then we see her making out with Trevor a lot. And then everyone else just keeps cutting to the rest of the casting like, I hate Trevor.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
So she runs off with the shovel, and Emmy sees her, and she goes, if I had done that, I would be fucking gone. And Bradley's like, yeah, damn right. Where's Joe? Get Joe over here. So Joe, Maddie just left, because Trevor made out with one of my clients. And Joe's like, wait a minute, what? Are you sure that they made out? And he goes, yeah.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
And then we cut to Maddie in her car going, idiot, fucking idiot.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Like, no way. And Bradley goes, she just clocked out. Which I love that they're trying to make Maddie this... irresponsible terrible hag of a human being who doesn't deserve her job but even when they try to get her so furious that she storms off the set which she did she still clocks out Bradley's like yep she was super pissed she took a shovel she married some ketchups on her way out asshole
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
So Maddie is driving and she's like, oh, he has a nice TV. Well, that's about to get smashed. She's like vaping out the window. I'm going to get him.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
So then Joe's like, well, then at least this loser might be out of our fucking life for good. Like every negative thing about her is because of him. And Bradley's like, yeah, you know what? If you want to put it on someone else, that's fine. But she made those choices on her own. She's in denial.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
right well now he you know he was avoiding it on purpose because he knows she's shooting today but now he sees her at the door he's like oh now i have to answer so he opens the door and he's like okay you can come in but they can't meaning the cameras and she's like what the trevor and he goes take your mic off she's like no step away from the door and he does and then they shut it and you just hear going you're making out with some ugly hole he's like i didn't do anything
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
You are a lying, sir. And she's like, oh, God, I don't know.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
I know this is supposed to be art. That's like Chekhov's shovel. Like when Chekhov said, if you have a gun, the gun has to go off. You can't just have a gun. You can't introduce a gun into a show and then it just never goes off. Where's the shovel? What's the shovel gonna do?
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Loved it. Yeah. Excited to see what happens. We have no idea what we're covering. We're not getting screeners for this show. So we don't know. It makes it harder because it makes like one part of the week like bloody hell. So we don't know. Hopefully we'll keep covering it because we really like it. But there's so many shows on Bravo and we'll be here every day forever doing this.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
So just keep coming back. Check us out on video on crappins on demand. So thanks so much for being here and we'll talk to you guys next time. Bye.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Why would you go back with so many cheaters on your joy marbles? So then we see Trevor and Maddie fucking in the motorhome on their way to NASCAR when they were taking their glamorous group vacation to NASCAR.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Hava Nagila Webber. Know Your Worth with Jason Couric. Sip Some Scotch with Jessica Trotch.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Rigging the Funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She Gets a Name from Us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's Give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino. Always Killin' It, it's Lola Alcalani. We Love Her on the Rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You Can't Have a Burger Without the Berg.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
And now, coming up this summer on Southern Hospitality, fucking lava, You know, there are a lot of lottery winners. Oh, look, my point is we know that luck exists. I'm not going to go down the whole list of people who have been lucky. Lottery winners, I think, is general enough that we all get it. I don't think anyone is luckier than Lava.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Leva has probably, she has like less than zero charisma or presence at all. And she doesn't even want to be here. How is Leva even here? It's like they plucked Leva out of nowhere. She just comes and she's like, welcome to an entire show centered around me. Southern hospitality. Why am I even here? Why are you making me do this? Like who is holding a gun to Leva's head?
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
And then everyone having to hold her back and her being like, you need to stay the fuck away from my boyfriend. Like, what did you fuck my boyfriend? You are fucking trash. And everyone's just holding her back. Like, don't do it. Don't ruin your life as a assistant, assistant, assistant manager to bottle girls.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
And that was like our big coming up this season. So they've changed our uniforms, right? What were their uniforms before? Because now they're doing this like Lisa Vanderpump pink satin kind of cocktail dress slash prom dress ball gown thing.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Well, I noticed that Maddie was wearing a pink one and then Grace Lilly was wearing a blue one. So I don't know.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
uh so six weeks earlier before all this drama we open i think we opened this way last year or at least it's the first scene i remember you know how you don't remember the first thing that ever happened in a girl in your life but there's like something so impactful that that's your first memory i think my first memory of the show was joe joey marvel's naked getting out of the shower
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
And it's an old tradition started by Vanderpump Rules with the guys. It's unfortunately carried on with Shep in Southern Charm, which is yikes. Nobody needs it. But God, Joey Marbles, what a cute little butt. So glad to have you back to sexually harass. And you too, Will.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Yeah. And so we see a clip of them when they first met and he's like a little kid with his dad. It's a weird picture to show. I don't know. And then she's like, yeah, well, I've been sober for nine years and recovery taught me that like people get second chances because, you know, I had to fight for my own life. So I got second chances.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
And so, yeah, Trevor and I are living together and we're happy and I'm in love. Okay, wait, second chances. That was you giving yourself. That was you earning it. You know what I mean? Like, sobering up is you actually making an effort and earning it. Trevor didn't do anything to earn it. He just showed back up the second there were cameras up again. Come on.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Gotta love that charcuterie. And he's like, yeah. And also I'm going to take out the trash later. She's like, oh my God, marriage, marriage. So she's like, you know what this is like? This is like, Looking into the future and like seeing something in the future, like not today, but like in the future, maybe today.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
I mean, if you wanted today, I would do today, but like not today, but like in the future, this is not today, but like soon, not long, but soon.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Despite everyone always being against my relationship, like I saw him as my soulmate. Okay. You're dumb. And I hope you feel dumb that they keep playing these clips because they're really rubbing it in right now to poor Maddie, who ends up getting fucked over literally by the end of the episode.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
I mean, I thought it would take at least until episode three or four, but wow, they just jumped right into it.
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#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
so now they're playing like kind of military music and um we see because they're going to work at republic which is you guys you have to be so disciplined at republic it's like being in the military so we go and we see the line outside of republic and they're playing a song that's like big moves on the circuit big moves on the circuit
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
They just need to start making flavored EpiPens so that people don't get offended. Yeah. Well, we've given you a chocolate EpiPen surprise on your side, just in case you need that. Yeah.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Well, I think that would make it more comfortable if Daisy was there. Everybody wants Daisy at their bedside when they're, you know, about to die from some kind of overdose. Because she'll just stand there and just be like, take that, people.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Yeah, it does sound unpleasant. I'm just saying it's too much. You know what I mean? You get one per friend group. I say you get one food allergy and one vegetarian slash vegan per friend group. And the rest of you have to sit in the back seat. You know what I mean? Like there's only so many seats in the front seat. So the rest of you don't get hurt. That's it.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
so i say make some people miserable for a few hours just don't kill anyone and then you'll be okay yeah so then um you know daisy's like i'll check with boys to make sure that i know who can eat what but she knows that it's diana's fault because it was diana like diana didn't know anybody's name he told her go serve annie and she's like who's annie he's like go serve karen they all look like a karen you know so she does it's her fault
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I just did my place all mid-century modern, and I got the most beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
There's something for every style and home, no matter your space or budget.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home. And then downstairs, Deanna is talking to Danny. And, of course, it's about work. Just kidding. It's about a man. Because what else would Danny talk about? So, Deanna's like, what did he say to you? And she's like, oh, well, you know, he's upset that I wasn't fully honest about Anthony. But you know what? I don't need to be yelled at.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Why am I constantly being yelled at? He did not yell. Chase doesn't yell. You know? I mean, he was kind of a dick. But he did this.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
i don't know i live in one place i'm going to the rock of gibraltar you're going that's not yelling danny i think that she talked about daisy yelling at her because daisy was like danny how about with the table so she's like well he gave everyone gave me shit and then i got screamed at well i mean i don't know you never know with danny she does bend the truth a little bit no i think you're right i think that she was talking about daisy i just don't read the whole thing you know
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Just like my life. And I'm like, oh, my God, the tax people called me just to be nice today. They said, welcome. Like, I didn't read the rest of the letter where they're like, you're going to prison unless you send us money. You know, I was just like, they're so nice. What a sweet greeting. But yeah, I think it was Daisy. But Daisy didn't yell at you either. She said, please get back to work.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Start your initial free online visit today at 4hers.com slash crappins.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
She's the jack of all annoyances. Yeah.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Because, you know, sushi, sushi just can't get cold. And so Glenn is going to join the ladies. So he's like, well, not to add to it, but if I'm going to eat, you know, I can't have seafood because I get a nasty fishy taste in my mouth. You know why? Because you're eating fish.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
It's like complaining that you get you get some chocolate in your mouth when you eat an M&M. That's what they do, sir.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
He's going to cook the steak, right? And then just cut it up and put it in some rice? Yeah. But then you're only getting four pieces of ribeye. I think people can take that when they're getting fish, and they're like, oh, that four pieces of fish was delicious. But you can't give a red-blooded American four bites of steak. I mean, I'm from Texas. You can be hung for that. Well, guess what?
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Glenn is Canadian, so it works out. That's true. Good point. Touché. So, Kois is like, whoa, so many dietary restrictions. I've never come across it. And he goes over them. And then he's like, the only thing to do is laugh, bang my head, and innovate.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I was going to say, waiting for the innovation to drive through town.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And Chase is like, cool, looks like dog dookie. Chase just wants to get away from Danny. He's like, please let me hide in here. I'll do anything you want, please.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Yeah. Yeah. It's like wasabi disses. That's so sad. You know, he's trapped there and she's like, oh, love your little snowman that you're making with wasabi. He's just ignoring her. She's like, they get that in Australia, which you would know because you won't come visit me there like you went to visit Alicia. Look, I'm making two little wasabis with you. They're coming closer together.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Oh my God, they're getting married. They're together. Baby wasabis are coming out. I said, please, please just leave me alone, mama.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
So every time I hear Tony, I'm like, when did them, when did that dude show up? I love her.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
we're gonna eat without ml fuck her i'm hungry we're gonna eat it's like yes hagrid eat that yeah she's great breakout star of the episode she really is i feel like she has a necklace made out of beef jerky somewhere in her luggage there i said it yeah she probably has also a lot of seashell decor in her house in a way that's kind of fun she has um beef jerky and seashell decor in her house yeah that's her thing yeah anything a pirate might have i guess
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
So now it's time to present dinner. And she's got tuna and salmon rolls. And then we've got salmon, which Karen and Janine can't have. You losers. You want me to remove ML's plate setting? And Glenn's like, hopefully she'll come up soon. She's such a charmer.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
No offense to Cloyce, because I really do think Cloyce has been a really good sport this season. And he's done a fairly good job, don't you think? I mean, despite his congressman hair. I think he's done a good job. But he just served chicken fingers. I mean, he served some little chicken fingers with some sauce board on. And he's like, here's your very special meal.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I don't know that I'd be sending him off to, I don't know, I was trying to think of a famous chef place that you send people to. But I wouldn't send him there.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
At this point, I'd just give him fruit roll-ups and tell him to fuck off.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
We are all ML at some point in our lives. She's just been wasted all day. She slept, but she knew there was food being served, and she ran straight into the door and just went, oh, fuck off, and kept walking to the table.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Yeah. So then it's the last dinner of the night. So everyone's so excited. And then the guests finish dinner and they're like, get in your swimsuits, ladies. It's time to jacuzzi.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Yeah, I'm sorry for all that ass you got this season, sir. It must be so rough on you. And I don't like Chase pretending like he's never heard of a girl that wants a little bit more after giving it up every single night or being with somebody every single night. He's like, what? I've never heard this before. Girls want something more? And it's not just girls. Anybody.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I think if you're having sex with somebody a lot and you start getting close with them, it's not weird to be like, what are we doing after this? He's just such a... You know, the thing that bugs me the most about him is just that he pretends to be nice. I almost respect people like Gary Moore who are just complete shitheads and then apologize like five days later once they've sobered up.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Well, hello, and welcome to What The Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on you bruvs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. Welcome to your show. How do you feel about it?
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Then just pretending to be a nice guy like, oh, shucks, I'm real close with my mama. And then fucks you over the whole time and makes you feel crazy. Like Danny's a lot of things, but this is not in Danny's head. I don't think.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Because he's doing the final ass grab without having to claim any responsibility where he can mope and act like he's been wronged and say, I can't do long distance thing and then make her feel so bad that he gets to have sex the whole last night and then still dump her at the end and then leave making her feel like she's the guilty one, you know, because he's manipulative. He's a fucking asshole.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
There you go. So she's just like, big dog, big dog. You know, my vibe was so low today. I just need you to know that. And he's like, same, but everything's good. Gotta love my mama. And she's like, I want to believe you, but your face says otherwise. His face always says otherwise. His face looks like, I just smelled my own fart, and it's not as bad as everybody else's. It's like that half smile.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
He's like, wasn't great, but it could be worse.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Stop sticking your dick in her constantly and then patting her on the ass every day and, you know, flirting with her every day. That's how you don't lead her on. Yeah. So then the crew wakes up and they're excited because it's the last day of charter. And, you know, the guests, of course, want their breakfast. So they get breakfast, you know.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Good. I'm doing bottle exercises. Oh, good. Hi, everybody. Welcome. We're in New York City because Saturday night is the Golden Crappies on Broadway. So we're super excited. We're also going to be doing Watch What Happens Live. We'll be the bartenders this Thursday night after Southern Charm featuring Miss Patricia Alstul and...
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Gluten-free French toast for you, or as the French call it, da, stupid.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I don't know. She just still keeps doing the work. And guess what Dani does? Not the work. She just stands there kind of leaning on the doorway talking about boys, which is all she ever does. And Diana doesn't seem annoyed, which is kind of why I don't like Diana. You know, I liked her in the beginning, you know, when she was like, oops, I love cleaning toilets. It's my favorite thing.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Ever since I cleaned Putin's toilet, I've never seen poopoo like this. But now... She's just like, oh, poop is disgusting on toilets. You just loved it a second ago. And now and she used to hate Danny and her stupid, you know, grubby ways with all the guys on the boat. And now she's just like resigned to it and hates Daisy. I don't get it.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Yeah, Deanna sucks. So, you know, Danny's going on about Chase. And always, like, why you so sad? Because you're a stalker. Okay, baby reindeer? Like, take a rest. Leave the man alone. Give the man some space. Can a man squirt out some wasabi in peace? You know what I mean? My God, the woman can hear wasabi being squirted out from a mile away. And she's like, I was like, are you sad?
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And he's stopping sad. And then he was better. And Deanna's like, so, conclusion. Well, seeing each other is definitely going to be hard, even if he's not. I'm not leaving here thinking like, oh, my God, Chase and I are dating. Like, I'm leaving here, oh, my God, I hope Chase and I are dating. God. You see the difference? Huge difference.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And Deanna goes, what the fuck? It's like just the work, bitch. Why aren't you telling that to Danny who's standing there at the doorway talking about some dude? I mean, at this point, Daisy should just get on the radios and go, guess what? There's fresh penises up here to squeeze and just watch her run up there.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
austin so we're super excited about that so check that out also guess what other news we're going to be in salt lake city and denver the following week we're going on like a 17 i don't know probably more we'll probably add more city tour so go check out dates over at watch what crappens.com and come see us you know what because it's only fun if you're there if you're not there i don't even want to do it
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
So Glenn is checking in with Gary, and Gary's like, oh, thanks for ending the season, Cap. This is three days later where you get my apology, because that's how I work. So I'm sorry about all my, you know, giving you gray hairs, or more gray hairs than you already had. Good person, Gary.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Yeah. And he's like, oh, I'm so glad to learn from you, dear leader, dear captain. Oh, you're going to make me cry, dude. So they go, you know, he lets him.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
move the steering wheel and all that stuff like your dad does when you're a kid and he pretends that you're really driving and gary does great i will say that they give him a very easy docking because this isn't one of those ones it's like uh-oh guys we're gonna have to get this in within three inches of our lives you know this one's pretty wide open um but still you know he does it well i guess yeah that's great good for you gary
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And as Gary successfully makes the boat into the dock without even grabbing the ass of another boat, I mean, it's pretty impressive. Uh, captain's like one day he's going to be captain. He's going to have to mature, but that's up to him. That's all in his control. So then, uh, ML's like, uh, everything was great. I just want to, I just want Tony to do this speech. Tony, she's like, yeah.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
It was like, oh, so you definitely made us happy. But if you want your daughter back before the dawn, you'll put $10,000 in a bag and leave it at the Dillard's entrance. Call any police and you'll die.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Doesn't Tony's voice sound like one of those Ransom, like those voice disguisers in Ransom movies?
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
like tony is on the local news and has been like witness some sort of like mob hit and it's like i don't want to be no please don't show my identity exactly like you can tell it's a wig even in shadows it's like a big wig hanging off the head glenn's like i opened the envelope but it's just a bunch of letters cut out of magazines to form words i figured that out later
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Also, we're doing Traders Recaps. Those are over on Patreon, as well as videos, which you can see right now. You can watch me exercising my waddle, which doesn't really seem to work, just in case anybody was thinking of wasting their fucking day on that. And then what's the other thing, Ben? I think that's it, right?
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Yeah, because these stews truly suck.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. And you don't need to be rich.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Saving is so, so important. You know, with everything going on in the world, you never know what's going to happen and you need to have your little nest egg going.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Head to acorns.com slash crappins or download the Acorns app to get started.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
We had our struggles for sure, but I don't think we had any major issues on deck. Everyone, Daisy, you took a lot on. Cloyce, you know, hate your haircut, but you did great. And here's our final tip. $21,000, which is crazy. That's a good one. They had some pretty good tips this season, except for Contessa.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
All that fun stuff. Is there anyone who wants to offer teleprompter services for the crappies on Saturday night? If there's a professional teleprompter person, we'd love to see you. Because guess what? My old ass brain can't remember anything. I can't remember anything.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Um, and Chase is like, well, I sure did really enjoy meeting all of you. I hope one day you can meet my mama. And Dion is like, we are so happy you came aboard. Maybe one day you can especially Danny. Look at how happy Danny is. Oh, my God. And then they go order. And of course, Daisy and Keith go have a cigarette. Keith has grown on me. I like Keith. I'd take him. Yeah, I like you.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
No, I think we were correct. He's a bland piece of white bread, but I love white bread. I eat it all the time. And so maybe that's why I like him. He just seems so like... Edible at 3 a.m. You know what I mean? Like, it's always there for you. Just put a little cheese in it. Also, he just seems like a very supportive husband.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
He seems like he would just always be there for you and be very supportive, you know? And then he'd always let you want to watch what you want to watch on TV.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Yeah, but then he'd have the respect to still watch a game on his phone with earbuds at the same time so he could still maintain some sexual attraction.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And he's been in show tunes. And he talks with his arms. And he winks. Yeah.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I may not control London, but I control the suburban road. Because I just picture Daisy standing at the entrance of the suburban road with a rolling pin that she's just kind of slapping in her hand. Like, who's going to come here? Mailman, prove it.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I don't know. I have no idea. We should go check them out. Yeah, let's do it. Next time we're there, just to see if we can see Daisy standing there with a rolling pin as cats like playing on top of trash cans. That's how it is in my head. It can't get by. So, Danny is like, Gary, would you say that you're the type that love relationships? Like, you're a relationship boy. You're talking to Gary.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Who even asked Gary that? What a stupid question. And Gary's like, I love relationships. I love them. I love them.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Free teleprompter, sir. Hey, even if it's holding up poster boards, you know, with our words, like in the old days.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
But also, they're just both so gross. Like, Danny and Chase are just both so deeply annoying. Because what does Danny think she's doing? Oh, I'm just going to bring up a casual relationship to see if Gary likes relationships. Because if he likes relationships, maybe Chase will want a relationship with me trying to be like Gary. You're so sad, Danny. Oh, my God.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
It really is weird. Also, his name isn't like a welcome invitation to just chase him constantly. And if you are constantly in relationships where people come up with an excuse to move out of the country, you should probably start wondering if it's a you thing. Thank you. You know? Thank you. Come on. Yeah. And so he's like, and do you chase? What do you think of that relationships?
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And Deanna's like, oh, my God, stop putting him on spotlight. And Gary's like, I'm not. It's just good to express your feelings, man. And he's like, Danny, you want to go to the bathroom?
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Here's to being the best version of ourselves. Cheers. So then they get into the taxis and they head back to a club. And Danny's like, I don't want to share a taxi with Daisy. What a bitch. And then Danny whacks Deanna in the head.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Yeah, we knew that was going to happen when he asked her to go to the bathroom. Like, you get a drink into a man, I swear to God. And they're like, no, man, my dick's hard. So let's ride it while we can. It ain't going to last long. So then Daisy and Keith are talking in the taxis and he has heard the girls bitching about her all night. Right. So she's like, did you enjoy your dinner?
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
It's going to be a real thrill. You know what? Like this season finale of Below Deck Sailing Yacht, okay? It's called Season 516, The Bitter End. So previously this season, Daisy got really frustrated. Danny, you know. Used to be chubby. And then she was a cheerleader and redeemed herself in her own mind because she lost weight. And now she just wants a guy. Any guy. Really. Really any guy.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And he's like, well, I'm not trying to be a snoob, but what I'm very interested in is the conversation between Gary Chase and Danny. And she's like, I don't know. I can't keep up with it. Those girls are nasty. And as far as I'm concerned, I like you. You don't like me. You haven't liked me from day one. That's fine. Let's see who's back next, you dumbasses.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
He's only going for plot lines and a last minute redemption because he got in trouble in the season. And he has nobody else to be with because he's all sad and washed up and sandpapery. And he's just trying to get a good edit by pretending he still likes Daisy, which I love that she's on, too, by the way. It's so funny. She's like, shut the fuck up, Garrett.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
But yeah, he does not care if they talk shit about her because ultimately he's always in competition with everybody. And he wants he doesn't like it when Daisy is like getting more accolades than him. You know? Yeah. Um, so he's like, guys, at the end of the day, she's your boss. Have a level of respect. And Chase is like, no, you earn respect, Gary. You know, you've shut up. Shackle dropper.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And Deanna's like, she cannot admit when wrong. She's... I don't respect her, period. No one respects you either, lady who can't clean toilets properly or serve properly. Like, you're a lose-lose. Get the fuck out of here. Get back to the old darks. I have no time for either one of you. And the only reason you don't like Daisy is because you don't like being asked to do your job.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And I've never heard anybody bitch that they only got eight hours of sleep. That's literally crazy on a boat.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
She'll always have that number missing from her sleep bank.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
She'll always have a deficit. So now they go to the club and do shots and Keith and Daisy make out. And then Gary's watching as he changed smoke wasted. And he's like, it's not easy seeing someone that you care about hooking up with someone else, especially when they're doing it right in front of you all the time.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And Deanna works for oligarchs in the Russian seas. In the seas of Russia. Yeah. Yeah. Black Sea, maybe. Black Sea. And it was just a great time.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
You know, Daisy, I just want us to live a fairytale life. Yeah, everybody wants their prince fucking drooling at the mouth and wasted and smelling like 10-day-old cigarettes. You fucking gross person. I don't even think he uses rock deodorant. He just seems so gross. And he's like, yeah, we've had our ups and downs, and then we can get together and live happily ever after.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I had serious feelings for you, Daisy. No doubt about that. Especially now that I don't have options. Daisy, you are like the last roast beef sandwich on a tray. I may not want to eat roast beef, but I'm drunk and it's there, so I'm asking to marry me. Do you understand? Fuck off, Gary.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I liked you from day one because I like the person you are, Daisy. You've fucked her over nine million times on this show, sir. Nine million times.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Yeah. And he'll, like, be grabbing the teacher's asses at school. Like, ugh, gross.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
She's like, well, you say this shit, but you never act on it, Gary. You can't just keep saying that stuff, Gary. It hurts me. And then Keith is like, oh, it's all right. It's fine. You know, she's trying to kiss her. And she's like, ah, fuck off, you two. So then the crew heads back to the boat.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And now Gary, you know, who just wants to live happily ever with Daisy and prove that he's different, is like, girls, come to the jacuzzi.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And then we get Gary's monologue, which is so funny because Gary is acting like he's had a season of sobriety that's been really difficult on him. And he just wants to remind us all how hard he's worked. He's like, yeah, you know, I betrayed Captain's trust a bit, but I feel that my problem is maybe with alcohol and my respect towards myself. So I need to work harder and take more responsibility.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
You were sober for five minutes. You don't get this monologue, sir. And I don't want to sit here and have like a cry that Gary's a poor victim of poor alcohol. Alcohol is a victim of Gary. Everybody around Gary is a victim. I don't want to hear it. Clean it up or don't clean it up, but stop fucking whining and trying to get pity points at the end of the season. I'm not buying it, sir.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Yeah, poor Keith, because he does seem to like Daisy. And she's like, ah, see, you never lose her. So then she's like, you know, when you're younger and you're having fun, you're put up with anything. But now I deserve better. I don't know what's going to happen in the future. Maybe Keith and I will get married and have a baby. Ha, ha, joking. That's mostly not going to happen.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
But, you know, we don't know. And so Gary, of course, interrupts it. He's like, ooh, ooh, is there a movement going on here?
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Well, welcome to being a cameraman. I mean, that's like, that should be the title of a cameraman book sitting in the fart. Yeah.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
It was cringy. Somewhere, I hope that Kali felt like Eminem. Yeah. Kali's sitting at home with, like, giant gold chains on, like, feeling as street as ever, you know? Yeah.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Thanks, Kali's mom. Uh, so I'm going to do everybody a favor and not read his rap.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Like his final sushi dinner. It doesn't make a ton of sense. I almost looked up like does cringing burn calories? Cause maybe I'll do it. But no, I can't do it. So then Chase and Danny say goodbye. And Chase is like, I'm really excited for the next year of my life. After my training course to do my yacht master, I'm going to take my boat to the Caribbean and start a circumnavigation. Wow.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And my first baby, I'm going to circumnavigate him too. I don't want any extra navigating on that thing.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Yeah. I'm more vocal about you, too, at the end of the season, which is weird, because at the beginning, I was like, oh, my God, I like her. And now I'm like, you fucking suck. Go away. I hope you never work again. You know, sometimes on these shows, I think I feel bad for the people because they come on, they can't get work after this because they're made to look stupid on TV or whatever.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
But with Deanna… From Dani, I almost, like, you expect this, right? She's immature. She's an idiot. She only cares about boys. All of that. So I kind of expected her to be an idiot. I did not expect it from Deanna. And I actually wanted more from, like, expected more from her. And she just turned out to be another lazy asshole. Go fuck yourself, lady. I hope you never work again.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I hope everybody you ever apply for watches this show and never hires you again. And may you rot with a gluten allergy. I curse you and your entire family with gluten allergy.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
More importantly, she's upset because he did date Alicia, the chef. Yeah. And he went to Australia to see her, but now he's not willing to go to Australia to see Danny. So, she's like, what's the difference between her and me? I mean, food. You know what I mean? Food. Alicia was a chef, so I would travel for lunch. You know, it's sad when a man will travel for a decent meal, but not for you.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Blah, blah. And there kind of is hope for them because Daisy's last monologue is her crying about Gary. We've shared intimacy. We've shared hard times. We've had low times. Dimey boy. You know, she's really kind of singing for Gary, but...
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
At the end of the day, she's waiting for a library book that by the time it's finally her turn to get is going to be missing so many pages and have like kind of splooged stains all over. It's going to be not readable anyway. So I hope that she can kind of get over this because I think that she really does love Gary, but he sucks.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And here's one thing I'm grateful for, for this, that they didn't let the stews do that thing where they get to have their moment with Daisy and tell her how much she sucks and how bad she was at her job. You know, because they do that on a lot of seasons where they're like, well, Hannah. Yeah. I think you're a shit boss. And I'm really glad that they didn't even give them the satisfaction.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
You know, they're like, no, they're still losers and they don't get that ending. So bye.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Yeah. So, wow. Chase came through. Really didn't see that coming at all. But, you know, good for those crazy kids. Good for them. I'm glad that Dani got a happy ending and then didn't get what she wanted ultimately in the end. Because she's still an asshole. Yeah, exactly.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Very dramatic. Did you see the preview they showed for Down Under? Oh, there's an evil man on there. A beautiful evil man.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
The one I saw was with a very dramatic, like there's a gorgeous six foot something hottie and he's an, you know, it's kind of returned to below deck form of just having an extremely aggro douchebag on board who just starts punching walls and stuff. Although Chase did punch a pole today. We did see Chase get mad and punch a pole. But this guy seems to lose and I guess gets fired and stuff.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
So, yikes. Okay. I didn't see that. But yeah, we'll be back with that next week. In the meantime, thanks so much for being here. Thanks for being with us on video. Whoever's over on Patreon, go check out taters. Wouldn't that be awesome if we were just recapping taters on Patreon? Like today I had the most amazing tater. It was a Yukon gold. Traders. Traders over on Patreon.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
But you know what? That's the situation you've gotten yourself into. The same thing that gives you pride now. You don't eat food, and he wants food. You see what I mean? This relationship can never work.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And also get tickets for the Golden Crappies streaming experience this Saturday. If you're in New York, come by. We're at Town Hall. There's like maybe 20 tickets left. So get them now because it's going to sell out.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Check us out on Watch What Happens Live Thursday night after Southern Charm. And we'll see you in Salt Lake City in Denver next week. And for more show dates, go to watchwhatcrappens.com. We love you guys. Thanks for being here.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Hava Nagila Webber. Know Your Worth with Jason Kerr.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay B. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP.
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We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
That's true. Also, wars are more fascinating than gates. Everybody wants to see war. Who cares about a gate? Like, literally nobody.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Don't worry. They'll bring in some Brady Bunch and some Alice references in this episode. So we could just get to go all the way back.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
You can find these great prices in store and online. Shop Whole Foods Market on Amazon and get free pickup and convenient delivery on all your wellness journey essentials. Terms apply. Save on your wellness routine with great everyday prices at Whole Foods Market. How annoying is it to have to switch apps to watch your favorite movies and videos? Different logins, forgotten passwords.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
You can't ghost Dani. Dani is one of those. She's like an exorcist. She will chase the ghost until the ghost leaves the house. You can't. She'll be like, don't you like me? I thought you liked me. Aren't I pretty? I'm thin now. I'm thin. So, yeah, you can't really ghost her. But I don't remember them making an agreement that they wouldn't take it.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I mean, I know they don't show everything, but they do kind of show everything on camera. At least you hear everything on camera. You hear a lot of slap, slap, slap. So you hear all that. So I would have assumed they would have put in the like, let's agree never to speak of this again. Well, I mean, let's be honest.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
She's like a button. She doesn't make any sense unless she's attached. Otherwise, you're like, what's that circle with holes in it? You know, it just doesn't make sense in her own mind for her not to be attached. What about all the other buttons?
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
A button is just a gate. A shut gate.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I hate a weak button. I bought something from J.Crew, which for me is like going to Givenchy. I would never spend... $50 shirt because, you know, my ass is cheap. I'm a Ross Dress for Less slash Old Navy kind of a boy. But I got something from J. Crew. Can I tell you that button was dangling within two days? Within two days, man, two days. And I was like, you know what? This is overrated.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I'm going back to my Old Navy buttons. I need children to be sewing on my buttons. I need children who are forced to work to sew on my buttons. They're the only ones who know how to sew on a button these days.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Oh, that's so nice. I don't like that because that's mixing friendship with button emergencies. And then what if the button dangled again? I would be like, I think it would cause a rift in our friendship because I wouldn't want to tell you how much your button sucks.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Yeah, it sounds horrifying. So, Danny is like, well, she sucks to think that I've probably romanticized this whole relationship in my head. You know, he lives there, I live here, now we can't be together. Oh, I mean, come on. I just want to go eat a tub of ice cream in bed and not talk to anybody. And I was like, oh, my God, that's what I'm doing. It's a better life, you know?
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Like, come to my side. It's a way better life, honey.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Australia is too far, you guys. Australia is literally Stargate. Like it's so far. And I don't mean inferior to Star Wars. You have to take a Stargate to get there. I mean, it's just so far, you guys. You're right. It's like a 24-hour flight. And then it's like a day behind us or a day ahead of us. And it's just like you're in the future. And it's just too much.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
It's not like going from Cincinnati to like, I don't know, where's close to there. like Alaska or something. I do that. Yeah. Mostly because Alaska just has so many men who just need something. Cause you know, they work on oil rigs or so they're so starved for attention. God bless it. I'm moving on.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Also, I don't think I could date anybody in Alaska because I think my nuts would always be so shriveled. What's the point? I would just always look so inferior anyway because I'm just cold down there. Never mind. Bye, Alaska. It was a nice dream.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Well, yeah. I mean, I like cold clothes. I like wearing cute sweaters. Mostly just because I have a muffin top, though.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I don't know. It looks cold. I mean, how hard would it be to get to a HomeGoods? I feel like it would be really hard in Alaska.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Okay, so now Daisy's checking in with ML, Mary Louise, or... Macha Louie, whatever her name is. And she's like, all right, this evening, we're going to do family style. And the lady's like, well, the only thing I really need is to get a heads up on what we're going to eat. Because, you know, someone's gluten free. Someone's seafood free. Someone's dairy free. Someone's taste free.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Someone literally doesn't have any taste buds on her tongue. So I'm going to need an interpreter to come out. And just really describe to her saliva glands what she's eating so she can really feel that go down. I hope that's not too much trouble for you. Fuck, you're all a pain in the ass. I say give these old ladies a loaf of bread with tuna fish on it and get them over it.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
Put them in the tank where they have to get over all this shit because this is crazy.
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#2706 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E16: I-Bye-Za!
sure there is i say you just do a survival of the fittest on their asses you know what i mean at some point send the herd i'm sick of the herd complaining about every fucking food allergy in the world and listen i know that there are some real food allergies i come from a food allergy family so i have to deal with this shit all the time but you don't all have it you know what i mean like when my sister's dog she has two dogs and when they both came down with food allergies i was like okay this is this is officially in your head you know what i mean like too much too much yeah it's
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
You already lost this text fight because all I saw were three, three dots pulsing for too long. You lose.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So Jason is leaving the boat to go check out Coma Waters.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So the ladies all love their lunch. Everything worked out great, guys. And then Serena's like, Laura, because she's done like kind of this big tomato tart and all this stuff that they're doing with their hands or cutting it and taking it with their hands. And so Laura's like, so what are we serving these people with? She goes, oh, there's no tongs or anything.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
You know, I just, that's just how we're doing it today. There's nothing to serve. And Laura's like, um, not ideal because now this is cemented as Laura's biggest storyline of the season. Why won't this fucking chef use serving things? I know. She's so confused about why she can't just get this woman to use a tongue or a spoon. She doesn't get it.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
He does a very weird pose himself, though, as he's taking the pictures. I don't know if you noticed, but he... bends all the way over like he's touching his toes and then takes a picture that way. I did not notice that. Why are you taking a picture like that? It's like dropping the soap. He's lucky I wasn't around. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
We are adding the last two episodes of White Lotus. We just put a White Lotus catch-up over on our Patreon. Yes. And we're going to do the last two episodes over at Patreon. So go join up at Patreon. Also, Hannah and Daisy from Below Deck Yacht, Hannah from the Below Deck Med, and Daisy from Below Deck.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
I'm so glad I'm not there. Like, it looks like paradise. I think I'm really going to be a big fan of VR once it becomes good enough that we can just sit around and be on VR all day. Because I can see all this beauty, but not have to feel the heat of it. But have to feel the gross sweating behind my knees. Not that I've never felt sweating behind my knees before.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
But that's how I know it's disgusting, you know?
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah. So Johnny is doing his direction. He's like, don't be afraid to lean on rock. There. There is the confidence we love. Lady leaning on the rock. Photo by Johnny.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
food yeah because if we're going to talk about hierarchy he shouldn't be trying to fuck one of his underlings either and writing her love letters and making her cheese plates because you know power imbalance etc so i'm not going to stand up for him fuck him i don't think she should ever apologize to him and if he can go hit on an underling she can make fun of him for it because he's the first one he threw the rules out so fuck that guy
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So she sends the message and he gets it and he goes, oh my god, she sent me a message. Listen to this message. I feel so bad for being rude earlier. I follow your heart. And who's me to be saying anything? Oh, well, she's just playing a game trying to make someone jealous. And Terry's like, uh, who is she trying to make jealous? And he's like, oh, really?
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
sailing yacht are teaming up to take people on their own private yacht tour of the coast of Croatia. It's going to be amazing. They're going to be partying with people. They're doing basically you and seven of your friends go on this yacht and party with Daisy and Hannah. So it sounds like an amazing vacation.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah, and Harry's like, that's her apologizing. He goes, no, you know what I think? She's like, okay, I'm going to flirt with the one who's been taken and make all the other boys jealous. Oh my God, you are so stupid. You are literally so stupid. And then it dawns on me, he just literally doesn't know words. He doesn't understand.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Follow your heart. And he doesn't understand even what she's talking about. He's literally an idiot. And I love what he just has this big blink, blink in his eyes where he's like, blink, blink, blink.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Now, I hope tonight I can give my tragedy story to Bree and she'll fall in love with me and give me a rose.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So Serena comes back complaining, of course. She's telling Alicia, like, oh my God, it was horrible. It was the most unorganized mess. It was terrible. Just make some crew food, all right? Let's just do a tomato mozzarella salad. Keep it simple. So then Vian is complaining about being exhausted. Oh, no, no, sorry. Johnny is telling him he's exhausted.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And he's like, you know, it's the long distances, too much walking, too much carrying, and imparting such wisdom as... Feel free to lean against rock. Using my art, my craft. It was not easy, but I changed a woman today. A woman became an artist today.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So if you guys want to find out more about it, email them over at party with Daisy and Hannah at gmail.com party with Daisy and Hannah at gmail.com party. I want to go. Yeah, that'll be fun. Croatia is beautiful. Hell yeah, your own below deck experience without douchebags and cameras everywhere.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah, one of the ladies requested bats. And I think it's the Australian lady. And so they're going to have a fear factor night where they have a bunch of grody things. And then the ladies eat crazy things like bats. I can do that at home. You know what I mean? I don't want to go put my hand in spaghetti and pretend it's something disgusting on a luxury yacht.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah. The real beer factor is going to like the breakfast day at the Hyatt place or whatever, you know?
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
I've eaten a lot of those. Okay, so now, what's happening now? So Jason- So she's making the bat. Okay, so Jason, it's time to do the anchor, right? And so Johnny's over there like, anchor, you look beautiful. I just need more from behind your eyes. But the anchor is kind of sticking. It's not coming up. And meanwhile, Vian is just going through pictures on, not Brie, is it Brie's phone?
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
What's that girl's name? Hick. I'm sorry, I'm a little- Adair. Adair's phone. They're going through pictures.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
He's like, wow, I love turtles.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
I love them. Hey, you think this tortoise dips? He's like, oh, my God, I'm in love with you. I love your accent. And meanwhile, Johnny is trying to figure out the anchor. And meanwhile, meanwhile, Jason can see all this through the CCTV. So he's like, hello, are we paying attention? And Vion's like, paying attention to tortoises. Am I right? Got it.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
I've never wanted to own a family of tortoises more than with someone like you, Adair.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And another complaint with Jason this season, what the fuck Jason? And then still Vion never gets in any trouble. He tells him like, don't do that, mate. But then who has to wear the disco ball from hell? Not this guy. He gets away with that every time. Last time he almost drowned somebody by putting a wave runner that was leaking into the ocean. You gave the disco ball from hell to somebody else.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And now he does this and you still never give him the disco ball. What the fuck, bro?
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
You know, I thought this was going to be part of her wants a cheese plate. You know what I mean? Part of her is like, oh, so the cheese plate was for me. Did you make it? Was it amazing? She's like, no, it was for Adair. She's like, fuck him and his cheese plates. So she's like, I don't understand why he's asking for a date stuff while we're on charter.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So then Vian is trying to make some romance happen with Adair. They're just like staring out over the water. And he's like, did you keep the letter I wrote you? She's like, yeah, I've never had a letter written in pictures and fingernails before. He's like, yeah. I like writing. I have a little book, and in it, I write things, my deepest, darkest thoughts. Here's one.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
I got $5 today because I slapped someone in the face with my penis. Was it worth it? It was. I bought cigarettes. She's like, oh my God, that's so romantic.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Oh, my God. What are you? Do you have a land filled with gays? Because you sound like a gay lord right now.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And I think this is unfair because they were told, I'm not going to have a second or third. I'm going to decide as we go and have you guys switching it up so it doesn't get too old. And then she keeps one person down at the laundry the whole time. I don't think that's nice.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So I think it's like when you're in solitary confinement, you know, it makes it worse. It makes it seem longer. It's torture.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So Brie is like, oh, you know, I know we have to do it. Wait, what are they talking about? Our daily? Oh, the energy drinks. Yeah. OK, so then Jason is talking to Serena and he's asking how the picnic went. She's like, well, you know, the organization wasn't great. You know, we were just told so many different things. And if I'd been told those things by a boyfriend instead of an idiot bosun.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
They might have landed differently. But where we're at now is Vian kind of sucks. And he's like, uh-oh. Let me tell him off. Let me find the best way to tell him off. Hold on. Vian, Vian, Jason. Vian, Vian, Jason. You're doing great, mate. You're doing great. Everything's going great.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And he's like, so when the guests came together, everything was there. Everything was working. Oh my God, the charter guests didn't even notice. They felt so young after hanging out with tortoises. They were literally just taking off their tops, hitting on teenagers on the bar. That's really all they cared about.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
We got a wall fish, which is just a fish that's completely flat. How do those fish live their lives? I mean, they're goal weight. But you know what? I'll bet they sit there and they talk about themselves badly. They're like, oh my God, I'm just so huge because they are huge, but they're only huge in one angle. You know, and the other way they're, I mean, they could fit through two sheets of paper.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Well, teenagers also die from sniffing white out. Okay. I just looked that up because I was like, what else is really dangerous that we're not talking about? White out, which we're all still using every day in this day and age. So basically Harry's like, yeah, it's been hot today. They're making small talk. He's making small talk with Serena.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And, um, he's like, you know, there are a few things that can be improved on probably with Vion, cause Harry is a tattletale, you know? And if I didn't hate Harry, I would prob- I mean, I don't hate Harry. If I didn't hate Vion, I would kind of be anti-Harry because he really is a snitch and we all know what happens to snitches, okay? They get snitches. They get coconuts.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
They get stitches after sharks throw coconuts at them and they die.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
These let's like go through. I bet they're really insecure. It's like you're big in places. Yeah. Those flatfish are crazy. Like a flounder. My favorite as the whole year has been, there was this crab that, It was huge. And it looked like kind of a drag queen crab. I mean, it looked like it was wearing jingles and bangles and like a wig. I mean, this crab was amazing.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Alright, so they keep radioing them, but they're fucking around instead of listening to the radios, and it's getting very dramatic and below deck. Harry's like, come on, any crew, any crew, we're dying here, we have places to carry! I have a family to raise one day with Brie! She's like, oh my god, he said he wants to raise a family with me? What does it mean?
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
He's like, we were just finishing Cabin's Maid, I had to dry showers and shit, you think that's easy while discussing pedicures? Come on, man. And Laura's like, oh yeah, I bet you did a lot of work. And he's like, okay, Adair, are you going to bed? And Laura's like, no, can Adair do her job, please? That would be great. She goes, yeah, I'll do this and then I'll go to bed. Listen, Missy.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah, listen, Missy. You better get your ass to work.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
I don't understand why people cannot communicate. Because she's complaining about communication, but what she's communicating also needs work. Because she's like, you know, I just feel like you're kind of putting pressure on the interior, and now they're slipping up. No, say you're fucking flirting.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
on the job and you're not you're going down there while she's supposed to be working nothing's getting done you guys aren't on your radios we needed people up here my fucking sue had sous chef had to get on a different outfit to do your job because you were fucking around off your radio like why why isn't it ever specific it's just like random you're putting pressure on interior i don't know what that means and he doesn't communication needs work yeah like just stop being fucking lazy
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah, they need to specify what he's doing wrong, because I feel like every time they tell him, it's just like, well, you know, your staff is fucking up. No, you're fucking up. You're not doing anything right. You're fucking flirting instead of doing your goddamn job. And you're making that girl flirt instead of doing her goddamn job. And you don't have your radios on. But it's not.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
It's always like some weird like. you're putting pressure on your staff. And it's also from Lara. And he's like, what, what does that mean? I'm putting pressure on. And so Lara takes dessert up and they have dehydrated strawberry dust, which how no one didn't snort that up is beyond me.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And I've been looking for another shot of that crab and I haven't seen it.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah. He's like, yeah, when Johnny goes and works the nights, nobody, nobody complains about anything. And I was like, wait a minute, what am I doing? He goes, well, I don't know, but every now and now I wake up and there's a complaint. So if it's not Laura complaining about not someone, then it's eight in the morning. Like you can't do cabins. And he's like, what? You're not making sense.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And he's like, but I just, Harry's like, just tell me what to do. Just give me like a specific list of what you want me to do. And he's like, It's not rocket science. Come on, guys. You know, like, just come down at one, come back at nine. It's got nothing to do with the list. And he's like, well, I know how it works. I'm not dumb. Or I just want clear communication.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
I want the schedule saying this is what the night person does. This is the hours they do. This is what the morning person does. This is it. Maybe you should write it down.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So then everyone's in a bad mood right now. So Alicia comes in and she's like, so is this a bad time to ask if anyone wants to try cream for the cheesecake? And they're like, fuck no. When is it a bad time to eat cheesecake cream? Get in here.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And he made Harry come up with all this stuff because he didn't know how to make a list, remember? Yeah. So Harry's like, but don't get angry with me. And he's like, I'm not getting angry, I'm just saying. So then Serena is telling Lara and Bree that she snapped at Vian, you know, and she's like, I mean, joke around when you're done with your job. I mean, I'm a feisty bitch today.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So Jason tells them, you've got some fun coming up. And Lara says, you know, there's going to be an eating challenge, a sensory challenge, it's jungle, it's wild, it's adrenaline, it's art.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Oh, God, if you saw it, you would never forget it. You would definitely never because it was it looked like it was literally wearing tons of jewelry. And it had so much like, I guess, moss on it that it looked like it had a shawl. I mean, it was a great grab. And it just kept coming in and out of its hole. Like it was like cameras. Yeah, I would like come out and then it would go back in.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah, so he hears that he's being tattled on, and the dude's like, what are you doing? Spying?
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
He's like, no, I'm not spying. I'm just getting things from my book. So then Harry just basically says, you know, there's a lot of negativity and it's bringing everybody down. Now, Jason, even though Jason's kind of making Harry tell him, Jason hates this shit. Like, he does not want to get into interstaff stuff. He just wants to, like, work on kimono designs, you know? Kimonos and skateboarding.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
It's like negativity from who? And he's like, well, Vion says something, then Johnny follows it, and then I follow that. You know, it goes through a chain. And he goes, well, then what you need to do is get positive. But Harry's always positive. It's not the problem with the positive person. It's the problem with the negative person.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah, so Vian's like, oh my god, what the fuck is going on? Like, what are you even saying? Loyalty is extremely important to me, and I don't really know if I can trust this guy anymore. So now it's eating contest time. It's the fear factor moment.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
He's angry at everybody because everybody he feels like everybody's talking about him and he's not doing anything wrong. So now it's just this big ball of mess where everybody's trying to make him look bad. You know, he's one of those. It's like if it's everybody on the boat, babe, maybe it's you, you know, but he's just going to blame everybody else because that's how he rolls.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So then he's like, so Adair, we can clean up all this crew mess stuff. And she's like, can I just sweep and be done? And he's like, no. She goes, yes. And he's like, uh-uh. And she goes, okay, I'm going to bed then.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So the next drama is a dare with Marina. She goes, you know what? Like you should be on service next time. Like I'm never on service. She goes, oh my God, I love service so much. I just want to be on service. And Adair tells her she's being too nice about it. And she goes, well, maybe Lara has a better bond with Bree, you know, and she wants to be with Bree more. Like, I don't know. I don't know.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
It's like, that's all you get.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
But I've been so professional, very dedicated and extremely sexy. And this is becoming embarrassing, you know, like after a while you question yourself what you're doing. Your store is on date night.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So then Harry asks Laura if he could have a guest cabin so that he could set up a snuggle. And she's like, fuck. He's like, no, a snuggle? What are you kidding? That's like a 10-year anniversary type thing you're talking about. Come on.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
I want to be able to lay on the bed with Free and then have a partition between us so we have to judge each other based only on our certain personality traits.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah, they all just start throwing dirty underwear at her head. Get these clean. She's like, okay, that was short-lived. So Vian is like, oh, my God, I'm going to have Harry doing, you know, look, I was mad at Harry yesterday. You know, for fuck's sake, bro, why are you making my job harder? And Adair's like, do you want another coffee? And he goes, yeah, of course. Make me another one.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So she comes down to make a coffee, and Jason's down there in the crew mess. And he's like, who are you making coffee for? And she's like, me and Vian. And he's like, you're on deck. And she goes, mm-hmm. And he goes, uh-huh, and are you on break? And she goes, no. And he goes, okay, so how can you have coffee when you're working? She's like, because I'm going to bring down my glass, okay?
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
There's an empty glass. There needs to be some coffee in it, so I'm putting coffee in it. What is confusing here?
Watch What Crappens
#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And they're so like, I get frustrated with clown fish because of Finding Nemo because that fucking fish, it's like, I'm trying to eat my cereal and I have to feel guilty about you going missing. You know what I mean? And that's how I feel about Nemo.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So he's complaining about Serena to Lara. He's like, I mean, Serena came to me very angry saying I'm putting a lot. She wasn't very angry, first of all. Saying that I'm putting a lot of pressure on the interior. She goes, well, you know, sometimes there's not really much structure in the deck crew. You know, like they're running around doing their own thing.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And Adair in the crew mess and Captain sitting there while she's making coffee. I mean, it's 20 to 8. You know, do you think someone that has been up for an hour working needs coffee? And he's like, probably not. Never mentioning that it's his coffee she was making because he's him. That's right.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah, it's going in circles because you don't change anything. So she's like, whatever, just take me back to my own boat. So now he goes to complain about Lara. So now it's everybody against Fionn, you know? So he's like, oh my God, she says I have no structure. I mean, are we even working on the same boat? And John D's like, if they want drama, let them drama. We know drama.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
I would like date night with Alicia. We are visiting wedding chapel and birthing home. All right. Well, that's romantic.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
You must ask about our marriage. It is hierarchy. You need to ask. And she's like,
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
okay hierarchy all right boss lady can i go with this semi-hot person to eat things and she's like oh my god i have so much power right now let me think about it better you than me do you mind wearing um goggles on your head that will camera all of this back to me just so i can live vicariously as you're fed by a man
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And how many people have you put in danger due to your stupid decisions? But you get to move you, you know what I mean? You get like a whole movie about you.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah, Harry is kind of causing a lot of the negativity because he's running around tattletailing on everybody, you know? And that's not to say Vihan doesn't suck. Obviously, Vihan sucks. But Harry's not really helping the vibe, you know? So Jason sits them all down for tip meeting, and he's like, all right, sharpen your team up.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
all right like i caught a deer down there getting you and her coffee this morning and that's the moment i need you to step up and say no we don't need coffee after 7 00 a.m all right do you understand he's like blink blink okay so not teaching your team the right way is not a leader at the moment i'm talking to you like a head of department but the next step is for me talking to you like a customer for a kimono a beautiful kimono would you like to touch it it's wonderful
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And he's like, why didn't you go on the beach trip? And he goes, there were five already. Yeah, but you were the one assigning people, babe. Why are you acting like you have nothing to do with any of this? And Jason's like, well, it would have been nice for you to pencil that in. All right. So you could see how it was done. And nobody knew how it was done.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
You know, and I don't want to nitpick everything, but it's also come to my attention that you wear bathrobes instead of kimonos. I'm not going to stand for that. All right. And there's negativity and there's moaning and you're moaning to everybody. You've got to stop it. You know, I heard that because Harry moaned it to me.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
It's so annoying. And Jason's like, well, there's negativity. And he goes, well, I'll do my best to lead the team better and help the interior. And he's like, okay then. So then Vion to himself is like, I don't have time for this bullshit as he walks off. So, oh, that was before tip meeting. Sorry. So now it's just like a private meeting.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
I need a consistent helmet award where the helmet is given to the person who fucks up. That's it. You can't be like, this is the worst thing and you just have to get over it and wear it. But then be like, but also you're the best worker and it's your birthday. So you have to wear it.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
He's like, nah, listen, when you see Dick Hand standing around or in the crew mess getting another coffee, it's getting to me, it's getting to me. And Vion's like, yeah. And he's like, okay, so you guys have a chat. I'm not going to lead this at all while I'm talking about leadership. You guys figure it out. Goodbye. So he leaves. And I was like, come on, man.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
I think that this is, I think it's a point where he should be in the meeting with the heads of department. Because obviously the problem is their communication. How do you know how bad it is if you're not sitting there in them, in there, listening to their communication?
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah, and then there's service, you know, like, what we're doing, when we're going, who's serving who, and, you know, the deck team is having so much fun, and I need the support from you to be like, let's do this, you know? And he's like, oh, really? Well, this is why I have confusion, because, like, how much time do I allow someone to be in the interior? I can't be everywhere.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And she's like, have my back. And he goes, but I do. And she's like, no, I don't think the deck team respects you. And I don't think they do what you say. And Serena says, you need discipline. You know, there's time for banter and fun. And he goes, no, this is not how I manage. I prioritize sleep, eat. And, you know, listen, we don't just make beds. Love letters. He's like, write in book.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Like, I think it's unfair because those fish are like just naturally well-dressed. And so everybody's nicer to them. Yeah. It's like people who were born like with model looks, everybody's like, oh my God, they're, they're really an asshole, but God, they're really good looking. Like that excuses something. You know what I mean? And clownfish, what do they have to work for? Nothing.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Because, you know, we're not just making beds. I work with cranes, jet skis. Yeah, you're not even doing that right. The fucking chain was fucked up today while you were looking at pictures and you put out a leaky thing and could have killed someone in two feet of water, sir.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And yeah, that's where it ends. Another meeting where nothing gets accomplished because he's not listening to shit. Yeah. Jason needs to be there for this stuff. That's crazy.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Cause they come out with like these perfect outfits. They're all the same size. They all look perfect. They're all like wearing these fabulous clothes and everybody's like, oh wow, that fish automatically gets my respect. And I'm like, that fish didn't have to do it. You want to talk about fucking fish privilege? The clownfish has it.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Well, I think that they were born to like an ugly doctor and the mom passed out after birth. She was like, oh my God, it was a difficult birth. So she passed out. And then the doctor was like, I'll name it for you. Clown, you're a clown kid. You're never going to make it with your fabulous outfit. And that's all you've got, you shallow clown.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And then, so the clown had to spend, the first clown had to spend the rest of its life proving its worth, you know, which it never really did. So the word clownfish stuck, you know, they never had to make an effort because they're just adorable.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah. I'm like, well, we can't put bastard clown of a child as its name. So we'll just go with clown. It's a clown fish. And thus we got these stupid fish. Okay. So we open with this episode. It's called Rumble in the Jungle. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Season three, episode eight.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
No, he was like, grilled chicken without any fat. And I was like, you're a lot...
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Yeah, I think Below Deck has just gotten us to a point where if someone doesn't commit assaults, we're like, oh my God, good for him. I know. He's doing great. Yeah, we're like, he's a great person. He may have other faults, but at least he didn't do that, you know?
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
He's so lazy. And they really highlighted that in this episode, which was fun. So we are still at the group trip that he didn't plan. So everybody's out looking at the tortoises. David. Yeah. Tortoise David. I feel like all the, and I, again, I stand by this. Like if you have aging guests, take us to a tortoise place because our skincare regimen looks so amazing compared to theirs.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
We're like, wow, they're all a hundred, you know, that's where I want to party. Like take me to a place where there's like a good 150 year old party. You know, that's where I want to feel like young and hot. So they're doing that. Meanwhile, Serena is stuck with the food and waving flies away because she had to put up the food too early because nobody is coordinating this trip.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
So she's getting all mad and she's like, oh my God, I was told lunch would be at 12 instead of 1230. I mean, what is this? And, you know, she shoos away the flies and I felt bad for the flies because they finally got a decent meal. It's not poop. It's not a pile of poop. And they're already getting shooed away.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
I'll bet he does. His sordid past. Oh, fish are the most. Oh, my God. Fish are the most narcissistic because they have glass homes. Like when they're domesticated, you know, they've got like glass homes. So all they do is look at themselves all day.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
don't talk about a fucking narcissist it's a clownfish trust me you know you know what expression fish hate people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones like i can't even why do you keep saying that to me i don't have hands yeah they're like also people without hands shouldn't throw stones great saying fucking asshole yeah thanks thanks for making a saying that does not apply to me now please get away from my tank so i can continue to stare at the hottest person in the world myself hello handsome
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Are you worried about all the Alicia fans coming for you? No, I just want to make sure.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
yeah well i don't know because i like her hair because i like that she does the two little buns on her hair like the lady in sweeney todd who turns people into meat like they're serial killers but they turn people into meat pies so i like that because i like a badass here's where i kind of lost a little respect this part where she apologizes to that douchebag you don't know that guy anything and don't apologize to him i like you right now but now you're like kind of erasing it with an apology so i don't like that so she sends him a text
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
And meanwhile, Vian and Harry are serving themselves lunch. And Harry, you know, Vian serves a ton. And Harry's like, come on, leave some for me. And he's like, oh, come on, it's not too much. And so Jason is talking about having to relocate the boat because Captain Sandy's nemesis is here. The wind.
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#2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!
Oh, you better watch your ass or I'm going to spank you. I mean, spanks you. Bloop.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
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Watch What Crappens
#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Honestly, this guy, you can talk about being an alpha male all you want, but he's certainly tipped like a beta male.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
I don't know how anyone could look at Vian and not be attracted to him. Obviously, I have a type. Manly, short, muscly guy. So I'm hoping I could get to know him a bit better. And we see pictures of, like, Culver. That didn't work out so well. So she's like, well, I reckon I've got another day in this one. This bra. Would you like to smell my lady musk? He's like, all right. Very nice. Very nice.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
So, um, um, people are going to go, are going to go out and everything. And they're talking about hair and like, Oh, you look good, et cetera. And Marina is saying that she has a crush on beyond. And she's like, you know, he's handsome. He's a nice guy. And I want to get to know him a little bit more, but I demand a lot. And maybe he's got what it takes. I demand much scuba.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
That's scuba for grandpa.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah, he should. Because now Vian has to just sit here and listen to Harry talk about how Harry kissed the girl that Vian liked. But you know what, though? I think this actually, in an episode where we're talking about testosterone-less blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I think this actually speaks of big dick energy from Vian. Because he's chill about it. He doesn't unravel.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
He's not insecure about it. His identity is not wrapped up in being able to get the model on the boat. He's like, fine, great. I missed out.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah. And he's like, really? It's like, have you never had a prawn? You haven't been to South Africa, have you? And she's like, no. So she tries a prawn and she likes it. So the chemistry is off the charts.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
I'm always on time. I, it's funny that he is half Dutch. Cause I can totally see him wearing one of those like old timey Dutch hats, you know, in the paintings, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Little buckles. And he is like, actually now that I, he is so, he is so Baroque period. If you'd think, if you really look at beyond, like, look at like a Baroque Dutch painting.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Like wearing those hats, that big swoopy hat and then like the white like frilly thing here. I could totally see Vian like that. That is really the era that he should be in. Yeah.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
If we kiss and we have prawns in our mouth, does it still count as a kiss or is it the prawns are kissing? I don't know. There's just like so many things racing through my head. So Johnny, meanwhile, has a story. He shows Marina a photo of him with his grandfather. He's like, he's Johnny, I'm Johnny. She goes, oh.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
He's Johnny. I'm Johnny. My father, he had affairs, so my mother sent him off when I was five years old. But growing up, I used to hate my father. And then he tried to bring us back into his life, and I'm friends with him. He's not my father, though. He's not Johnny. I'm Johnny. Grandfather Johnny. He's just another Johnny.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
My mother, Johnny.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
so he's like my mother is definitely a get done person my brother and i she raised us crazy boys she was cleaning she was cooking i was floating out from the middle of the ocean because i got lost one time but she was doing two or three jobs now she's 62 and she has six pack yeah i got that from her definitely yeah she must have been going to eric's stuff she's like no excuses johnny no excuses johnny slay dragon
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Marina's like, for me, family is my priority in life. It's like, yes. Tell me about your journey. So now everyone leaves.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Okay. Go ahead. Yeah. That's, that's, that's a bit of a problem. So they're back on the boat, Zarina hugs Vian in like the... She hugs him. And Zarina's like, so what's going on? Like, is this real? Is this real? And he picks her up and she's like, am I heavy? He's like, no. And they're just being very flirty and physical, you know?
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
And then Marina and Adair decide to go to bed while everyone else goes up to the hot tub and they are in the hot tub, which Harry is sitting in. Harry, what are you doing in that hot tub with your with your your thumb? Keep your thumb away from the water. It's a gremlin. OK, but they play truth or dare.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
So they're only to get your leaky shit in the hot tub. So they're going to play Truth or Dare and Zarina's dare is really lame. She says, okay, Harry, run over there and I want you to scream, I'm a hero off the back of the boat. So he goes and does that and it's like, fine.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Also, Lara is building her own. She's like renovating a barn in the English countryside that she just wants to live there with a bunch of dogs and not speak to people. And I think that once you decide on that path in life, you basically forfeit your truth or dare card.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
You're like, sorry, I am no longer allowed to play this game because I've decided I'm going to renovate a barn in the English countryside. So fortunately, that means no more truth or dare for me. Yeah. Dr. Dare is no longer part of my life story. I'm renovating a barn in the English countryside. The two things don't work. You can't do both those things.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
So he dares Vian to kiss Zarina and then they kiss and it's hot. And Zarina is like, you know, obviously horned up. I mean, who wouldn't be? Vian is really hot. I feel like every week I'm appreciating more and more that Vian's really hot. And so then like, oh, man, I was hot. So Lara's like, okay, Johnny, truth or dare? And he's like, dare. Wait, are you talking to me or my grandfather?
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
No, you, Johnny. Okay, dare.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
i thought he was gonna be better at this because they showed it in the coming up and we see him do this but they edit it in the coming up where it looks like really sexy and i was like i was already getting excited i was like i can't wait for the striptease of this lap dance because like i was like i can i started to imagine like johnny i can actually sort of see him doing like a really like sexy thing and then when he actually did it i was like oh no he just that was the editing that gave him a little bit of an assist there it was really really bad
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah. Channing ain't him. Yeah.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
So, yeah, so everyone goes to sleep. And while this is all happening, they keep cutting to Marina asleep, because it's like, oh, look, you snooze, you lose. So they're all going to their rooms, and Lara's like, oh, Zarina, he kissed you. She's like, oh, my God, that was so nice. His lips are perfect. I want them all over my body right now. So Zarina's falling for him, obviously.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
so then harry uh goes over to him and goes he's like hey jason i've got a favor could you tell brie about the kiss i had with her i just don't really feel like having the conversation also i've asked brianna out on a date he's like okay well haven't we been down this road before and we see a flashback to margot last last year being like um you're not seriously looking for a relationship are you harry because i'm not i mean
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
I'm just not sexually attracted to you in any sort of way whatsoever. I don't know how else to say that to you.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
I was about to say, you don't have to miss her face. You can just watch Southern Charm and Sienna.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
So then Vian goes into the galley while Zarina's prepping and she's like, that's so weird kissing you yesterday. She's like being flirty. And he's like, yeah, you're a good kisser.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
that's good to know you have the most beautiful lips i think i've ever that have ever touched my you know i think i have a little bit of a crush on bianna i really want to get to know his personality and you know i haven't had a meaningful relationship in years and he's just a really really good kisser i'm so excited that our relationship is definitely a relationship and going forward it's just wonderful
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
He really is. He's, you know, always looking for open port. Oh, what's that? Is there a lady in there? I hear a lady talking. I know it's not, there's not a lady. Is it your phone?
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
But everyone knows if you go to scuba dive, you're basically married. So she says, the Latina in me is like, bitch, how dare you? But then again, we don't have anything together, but how dare you?
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
the linen did look good on him though because you know harry would have worn some sort of like you know khaki short shorts or something so they put him in some nice linen duds and he's like it's what dad's a fool you know and um then harry like he puts it on everything and he's and harry's telling people he's wearing jason's pants and everything and then so he meets up with rihanna and she's like oh my god i like this color on you are we going to talk about colors okay how are we talking about colors first we're kissing i'm just like really confused are we going to have this conversation or not
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
You mean coral? It's short salmon.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
And he's like, oh, she's a good kisser. And she goes, yeah, I'll have to try it out. He's like, oh, what's that? She goes, what? And he's like, well, you should have come last night. And she goes, well, what are you doing tonight? He goes, well, I'm gonna work out. And then she's like, of course you will. And then meanwhile, the massage- Nothing says he wants you like, I'm working out.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Wow. So Zarina, so now the massage is still happening downstairs. And Zarina's like, you could tell me that I'm a strong, independent woman and I've got this. Could you tell me that? And he's like, you're a strong, independent woman. You've got this mother. What? I mean, Zarina. Now lie down while I sit on your face.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
So then, back at the coffee bar. With a fork. Fork only soups. Don't get any soups. Don't get it into your head.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
What's the best seller. Do you have prawn ice cream? I just started to eat those. They're like, no. So, um, they, I can't even take that as a joke.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
I am like when it comes to funky flavors. So like, I, it just doesn't always work out. There's some people, some places that can do it well. Like Jenny's, Jenny's does the funky flavor really well. Like, have you had their pancake? Jenny's has, they have like a, like a maple syrup and pancake ice cream. And that sounds amazing. Well, I've been eating that. Yeah, that sounds amazing. Yes.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
And then they also have like a, there's some, they just, there was just some amazing one that they, that they sent me that was really good.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
I'm on the Jenny's list now. There's going to be all sorts of cool flavors now. But they do good ones. Salt and Straw does their funky flavors okay, but some places try to be really cute and clever. And they just let Jenny's and Salt and Straw do it because it's not going to work. I got real funky the other day eating ice cream.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
You should definitely try out the pancake one. And Judy, our friend Judy, she says she's... It's turning into a commercial for Jenny's. I swear it's not supposed to be, but she had, apparently Jenny's also has like a blueberry, um, pancake ice cream that she had recently. And she, she texted me and was like, this is the most amazing thing of all time. So that's my advice.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Your TaskRabbit arrived. It's like, surprise. Sorry, my hot brother was ill today. So here I am, a lady who you definitely want to fuck, right?
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Oh, and now we're on an ice cream date. Wow, the chemistry, again, off the charts. So he tries to feed her ice cream, but then he gets the ice cream on her nose. He's like, oh, I'm sorry. That's because I can't use my thumb. I did it on purpose so I can do that. And then he touches her nose. He goes, oh. So what do you think about yachting, prawns, anything?
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
And she's like, well, I got into yachting because I was in Aruba and I was bartending. And then I got introduced to the captain and he was like, I love your personality and I want you to come on my boat tomorrow. And, you know, I thought... Nothing safer than just going on a boat with a stranger. So here I am. Hard to be a model.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
That's incredible. I always wanted to be a marine biologist. That has nothing to do with sailing, but I just want to tell you about myself. Maybe that's why I'm getting my master's in, well, I'm going to get my master's in marine biology. Well, yeah, that would help if you, if you always wanted to be a marine biologist, it probably would be helpful to pursue an advanced degree in marine biology.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
She's like, that's why I got an MFA in dance to become a marine biologist.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
And that's why I went to school to become an electrician. She's really putting two and two together.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
So they come back to the boat and they walk into the galley and Serena's like, so how was your date? Just want to hear what worked, what didn't work. So on my future date with Vian, I'll know what to look out for. And he's like, oh, she's beautiful. So genuine and all happy. Meanwhile, the other day, Marina, she's at the bar. I should say it's not even on a date yet. They're just upstairs.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
This episode is never ending. Marina is talking to Brianna about going on a date with Vian and how Marina basically says, I asked them out and that they're going to be going to a bar. So now they get ready and they go off to the bar and Vian and Marina are ordering drinks. They're ordering Negronis and stuff like that and being flirtatious. And he's like, oh, I'm so glad you asked me to come.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
And she's like, well, I didn't want to make things weird to be completely honest. He's like, well, it's not weird at all. I love this. This is wonderful.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
I would love it if that's how Task Rapids arrived. So now everyone goes to bed and now people wake up. It's the next day. And Zarina is in the kitchen and she drops a giant pan on the floor. And I was like, wow, I'm sure the sound department really appreciated all that in their headphones right now.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Are they roommates or no? No, they're not roommates. I think Marina's with Adair. So, yeah, once again, Zarina, just when she starts to like a guy last season, it was Culver. And now the season is beyond. He gets he winds up going off with someone else.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Nothing happened. But you know what, though? Sometimes in life, you've got to have a two-parter because it takes one man to do two parts. That's right. Alpha man, bro. No excuses, Ronnie. It's a two-parter, and that's just the way it is.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
i'm yawning and wiping that took a lot out of me i was like two dates on one two days because it felt like the show should have ended it felt like the show should have ended after the meeting they all went out and then it's like oh wait the show is still going and we had not only one we had two dates i mean i enjoyed the episode but just recapping it i was like this is still going this is crazy it was a long ride all right everybody well thanks for being here we'll talk to you next time bye
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Catherine DiBernardo has our heart-o.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Jamie, she has no less name-y. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Mannock's door. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. The Bay Area Betches, Betches.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
It's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. She's got a leg up. It's Beth Ani.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. It's our queen. It's Queen Laifa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Know Your Worth with Jason Couric. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony, Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Always killing it, it's Lola Alcalani.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Give him hell, Miss Noelle. She's the Queen Bee. It's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a can and Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
ah protein bowls she's like yeah do you want one he goes no he's like disgusted with the protein balls he's like i think i think i think that we want to be starting to haul so pick up anchor ball 11 and and so vian's like okay sure harry can drive the tenders yada yada yada and so harry is then checking on brianna asking if she slept well and he's like i'm
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
planning the date it's in my head oh we're gonna go on a date she's like you are i said yeah i'll i'll let you know another plan she's like i'm so excited i'm like literally please don't subject us to their teeth my least favorite thing on blow deck a sweet below deck date i literally thought when i saw this i was like let me guess you're gonna go to an ice cream shop because it doesn't that sound so like harry like
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
They go get some ice cream. Yeah.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah. And it's just as boring as you can imagine. So then Vian, meanwhile, asking Adair if she's excited for tonight going out with the group. And she's like, yeah, there are a lot of outfits I want to wear that I can't wear because my belly is so pale. And like, you know, yeah, because my belly is pale compared to the rest of my body. So I can't show off my belly.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
But see that I'm wearing the mud boat uniform. So I don't know what I'm going to do tonight.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
number two touch me non-sexually every day and i need you to me regularly that's all you need to do then then you can totally control just that just that i need you i need to um deal with your fragility every single day by saying that you're the man because you don't have enough self-esteem uh to arrive to that conclusion on your own so you need external validation for me because
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Otherwise, your entire worldview will collapse. Okay, got it. Number two, you need me to touch you non sexually every day, but also very sexually every day. Got it. So you just want to be touched. You just want to be fucked and touched every single day. Okay, so you're basically needy and alone in this world.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
And without some sort of physical or emotional connection, you are just going to crumble because you don't have enough energy. You don't have enough confidence in yourself to just forge forward like a true wolf and just shut the fuck up and do what you have to do to get your money and get food on the table. Got it.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Here are the three secrets to secrets that women can use to control men. First of all, serve lattes that are 30 calories or less. Second of all, fuck me after the latte. Third of all, second latte, please. But it has to be zero calories. I already used my 30 calories up on the first one.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Guys, we live in a society full of beta men snowflakes that are all like, oh, emotions, emotions, okay? Fuck those bros. We need to be an alpha male. An alpha male who, when confronted with some things that he may need to do, says, I can't hear that right now. It's too much for me. Come on, touch my arm instead. Touch my arm. That's what a real alpha does. What a douchebag.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Well, I'm sure this guy has a lot of self-love, too. So, now it's drop-off day, so everyone's excited about that to get this outfit.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Men can fuck anything. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, those words will be used against you because when you inevitably cheat on your woman and you say, no, it meant nothing. It was just like, whatever. It didn't mean anything. You're on camera saying when you fuck, it's because you love someone. You're showing love through fucking. So congratulations.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
You just condemned yourself for all future cheating excuses. Well, whatever I'm trying to say. Yeah, I gotcha. I gotcha.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
so harry goes into vian's cab and he's like so i just asked brianna out on a date and she said yes and they like high five which is funny because vian really vian is being very chill about the fact that he really wants to go after brianna and now his underling has has stolen brianna um as is rightfully it's he is as he has as not do he has
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Thank you. Much better.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah. And he's like, well, this is lunch. And she goes, is it? He's like, yeah, I mean, just turn this into a brunch. It's fine. It's all breakfast food. And she goes, really? And Jason's like, I generally understand, you know, I generally know Zarina cares for the crew. And to me, to say, don't feed them, that's fine. That's against what she would want to do.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
But she's just had that problem with the sous chef. Didn't work out. So we can support ourselves with the food that's there. There's enough food there. We're not going to starve. And basically, he tells Lara, like, yeah, we'll just have this brunch food after the tip meeting or whatever. Or we'll have it early. Like, this is going to be the food that you're going to have.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
And you'll eat dinner later tonight. And so Lara's like, okay, sort of like a brunch, whatever. But Zarina is, like, losing her mind.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah. She's like, I don't know, I think she's just in a spiral. And she's like, I mean, so I have to make this other breakfast and now like stuff's going to get cold. And now he wants me to do more stuff. And on top of that, you know, Vian is just like in love with me. So I have to deal with that. And that's got a lot of pressure on me.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
And just like the whole reason why we do it after the tip meeting, she starts going on and on and on about it. And he's right there in the next room over and she's going on and on and on. And finally, he just walks in and he's like, all right, what's the what's the problems, Lorena? Do you want a kimono? What's going on here? I'll save you cooking in preparation after the meeting.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
You know, I'm more than happy to have you cook again. Do you see what I'm trying to say? I'm trying to save you from having to cook more. She's like, oh, she starts to cry like a scolded daughter.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
So then Lara's consoling her and Serena's like, yeah, it's just hard trying to get used to being a solo chef again. I'm still really in my head around that. You get in my head around it. It just didn't need Jason and I fighting on top of it. I put so much pressure on myself that I just get into my head about it.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
I just think after being bullied and put down and let down, I kind of do it to myself now. I'm my own biggest villain, you know. That's why I don't like to put spoons out there. You only get smacked on the head with a spoon so many times in your life that you don't want to put it into a bowl for people, you know. So Captain Jason's like, all right, everyone, time to dock or whatever.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
So they go and they dock.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
And I don't think the veins are popping because of the Tic Tacs. That's the steroids. Yeah. Yeah, man. Intermittent fasting followed by a Tic Tac break fast. Yeah. Does amazing things for your vascularity, bro.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
It's not a not a proprietary thing, but I'm saying that in other other below decks, people would take the stance of like, she was mine and I'm the boss. She belongs to me first. The picking order, bro. And beyond just like Gary, guess I lost. Yeah.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
So the guests say goodbye and everything. And Eric has this really important goodbye speech. He goes, oh man, you guys are such a gift. I mean, there's not one toxic trait in this crew. I'm like, literally, okay, you're not. So this is how I know you're a charlatan. Because you cannot be on Below Deck without being full of toxic traits.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
So the fact that you didn't pick up on all the toxic traits swirling around you shows that you're a fraud. But he goes, you guys are incredible. You're going to inspire the world. This is for you guys, my toxic traitless friends. So he hands it off. And then Eric goes to his car with his friends. He goes, one of the best exit speeches on earth just happened. They all loved it.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
So now it's time for the meeting. Everyone goes to the meeting. There's no disco helmet.
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
this this time he goes well we lost a crew member and we'll do our best to get a substitute and you'll probably be doing the next charter by yourself if that spawns arena and whether the dick's a man not down or a thumb down we're going to move around to support each other because that's what we're here to do so basically this morning he was going to give that to serena i thought he was going to be like well anthony's not here but you're the department head so you have to wear it serena but i think he just wanted to avoid the tears
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#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
yeah so he basically was like yeah this helmet belongs to anthony and then he's like all right the tip was 22 000 and uh we're gonna take anthony's tip everyone's like personally for these guys to talk somewhat this guy to talk so much about success to be uh and it was a two-day charter yada yada yada i don't know i personally thought it should have been 25 000 for tip not 22 000 so
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
And he's like, hey guys, part of being in the light, it fast forces your progress in life. Being in the light, being in the light is the last thing you need. Get a hat on, okay? Your skin looks like a fucking baseball glove.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
And I also love people that are only successful from telling poorer people that they're successful. All of his success is based on just telling poor people that they're losers and they're dumb enough to pay him because he has like muscles and he's on a boat. You know, stupid poor people. Stop it, poor people. I'm never going to do this.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
You should say no to douchebags who are trying to tell you they can make you richer. Okay. You know what can make you richer? Jesus.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Well, here's his first post. Something big is coming. It's the Coeur d'Alene Summit. And then he has pictures of like famous football players and stuff. And he's like, so excited to share the why behind this event. The depth, meaning, power and promise every speaker is bringing.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Now success is 130,000 Instagram followers. Send me your money.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
He's extremely hot. Cause I'm watching him right now.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
So let me tell you what he's doing in this video. He's wearing a skin tight black shirt, which I love, you know, with a gold chain over it. And he's yelling at a stadium full of people. And he's got a big screen behind him with starving children in Africa. And he's yelling at the audience. So if you guys don't want to be a starving child in Africa, go hear what Tim Tebow has to say.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Because he's going to change it. Because then there's a shot of a Porsche. And then there's Eric in a really bad toupee. So I don't know.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
We have plenty of time to make fun of stupid Eric. I was looking at emails because I was wondering if we got an email from him. Oh my goodness.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I know. I love thin people who are so worried about being fat. They're my favorite. They're my favorite. That's my favorite insecurity. I saw something on Reddit today that was like, Tate McRae, finally a normal average body in pop culture. What the fuck are you talking about? Tate McRae. Yeah, Tate McRae is a fucking perfect body. And what are people talking about?
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I thought you were done. So Brittany, who is, you know, one of the other guests and new to the world of Eric Rock, I would assume, goes... You mean like confidence wise? And she goes, um, yeah. And I guess what I'm trying to say is, how do I say cocksucking douchebag with a, um, I don't know if it's a healthy confidence or if it's an overly cocky confidence and he's still going on and on and on.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
And then it just cuts back to her and she goes. Like really judgy. So we cut back to Eric and he's still on his laptop and he's wearing bracelets. You know, those Lance Armstrong, one nut bracelets. He's wearing those except instead of saying Livestrong, they're like
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I've never rooted for a dragon more in my life than I have today.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Do you know how much you can communicate to someone by slapping them in the face with your dick? All right. That's what men have. That's what men have. Do you feel like you're failing somewhere in life?
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I came out with a line of underwear that says, terrorism sucks. Hey guys, here's my advice. Don't be a terrorist. All right. And listen to my, let's cut to a video of my friend Tebow. Tebow, what do you have to say?
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Nailed it, Tebow. That's why Tebow gets paid the big bucks. You think that gold necklace around his skin tight white or black shirt paid for itself? No.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
They're like, finally, a full figured woman. Shut the fuck up, all of you. I hope you all get on the boat with this douchebag and I'll sink it.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah, exactly. I think she should have done the same thing. I think just getting rid of him was a bad idea. And I don't know that it was necessarily her idea. I mean, that was Jason who did it. But I think she was looking more for, like, a friend to bitch with. And here's another thing I'll say while I'm saying that.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I think that the reason that Aisha needs to be on this show and not the other one is that she makes Captain Jason more fun. Like, she brings kind of a lighthearted... She brings out his lighthearted nature, where I think Serena brings out his scolding nature because she needs a little bit more. I think that he's more fun when Aisha's here. There, I said it. I said it.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah. And speaking of men communicating, I would have rather a... I'm your captain. And guess who you are? Nothing. All right. You're a fucking underling. You're a sous chef. You work for Serena. Don't even look her in the eye. You're going to do your fucking dishes and you're going to do the crew food. I don't want to hear anything from you. And that's it. The fucking end.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Now go downstairs and do your fucking job. I don't like letting him off the hook by just like, okay, you know, we're taking away two charters. I mean, I get the reasoning behind it, you know, and I'm not a captain for a very good reason. You want to talk about crashing into fucking docks. But, you know, I would rather see this man get yelled at.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Marina is now in love because someone let her go snorkeling. I mean, the woman doesn't ask for much. Okay. And it comes from a long line of below deck women, not really asking for much. I need you to ask for more. Okay. Below deck. So Lara's telling us, yeah, you know, Vian didn't ask me permission to take her. And that's absolute bullshit. I can't wait to say nothing about this.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Okay, I just officially became- They all sound like Lonesome Dove characters.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah, we didn't hire you to be a good guy. I hired you to make people iron beds. That's it. Yeah. So Brianna is like, did anyone hear from Harry? Did he talk about kissing me? How does he feel about it? And Vianne's like, not yet. I thought he would message you. She's like, oh, God. What did he say? I thought he would message you. Why was that funny?
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
All right, Nino, Nino, I've got to go diving. All right, you're in charge of the boat. You're in charge of the boat. And Nino's like, oh, hi, I'm the first officer. Also a terrible storm. And a pizza chef.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
So then Adair and Vian are wiping down the deck and he hands her a towel. She goes, what is this? And he's like, it's dirty. She goes, okay, I'll wipe my butt with it now.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah, she's putting too much into this. She loves it. She loves it. She's having the best time. I went scuba diving with my father, so it means something. So Harry's back. He's on the radio. He's like, crew, crew, I'm back, baby. Did you miss me? Yeah. And he's like, guess what? It's not fractured. The doctor says just don't use the sand for the next few days.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
And guess I'm going to have to do everything one-handed, eh? Yeah.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I mean, I wouldn't sign things X to somebody I like. They're just going to leave you for another platform. So Harry is checking in with Johnny and he's updating him about the douchebag, the other douchebag, the skinny little douchebag leaving, the sous chef. And now Adair is vacuuming. And let's see. Harry goes into check with Serena. And it's like, I was so worried about you.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
He's like, don't worry. Everything's fine, X.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
So then Vianne checks with him and Harry's like, oh, it's not broken. She doesn't want me to use this hand though. This can't get wet. So I'm going to do anything that only requires one hand. And he's like, great.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I think that's what they're moving him into. Because when he talks to the captain, the captain's like, I have fun making beds or whatever. So then Lara is like, well, you can make beds with one hand. And he's like, oh, I think today I'll rest. No, I think you've already been at the hospital. That's a rest, get to work. So now the guests are done.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
If you got time to throb, you got time to polish this knob.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Why do you have to talk about it? I've gotten full on blow jobs that I haven't talked about after. What's there to talk about? He kissed you. The kissing was the talk. Seriously, do we have to have a full on discussion about everything? Yeah, he kissed you. What's the discussion? I just don't understand. So Laura's like, well, I need to step in at some point. I think I need these baby giraffes.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
If Eon doesn't send them scuba diving, that is. So now Harry goes to bed and the guests are coming back and Captain still hasn't heard from Harry. So he's like, what the hell? And he finds out he's in the cabin. Meanwhile, Captain Jason is invited by Randy to come to dinner tonight. John, John, John Serena's first dinner solo.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
No, they were shirtless. Yeah. The boys here, they were shirtless. Yeah. Cause when he came out, I was like, wow, a string bean in a bow tie feels like Monte Carlo.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Eric's like, wait a minute. You all work out every day. So who told you no excuses?
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Have you ever seen someone this obsessed with soup? I've never seen someone serve more soup on this show. I mean, soup's fine. I'm not dissing soup as a old one. But why? Why so many? She'll serve two or three in one meal. She loves the soup. Do you think she has digestion problems? I think she has digestion problems. She loves making soup.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah. And so finally she's like, oh my God, I've got so many grilled cheeses to make. Did I fuck up by getting rid of my sous chef? Yeah. But also grilled cheese is like the easiest thing you could be making right now. So, and I really like Serena. I know I feel like I'm being really hard on Serena, but I really like her. I just don't know what she's up to right now. It's hard to figure out.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I thought losing weight would help, but it didn't. My chair is still creak and then you're thin and your chair is still creak. So I guess that's one thing like you think losing weight is going to like help in so many ways that it just doesn't. I was like, I'm going to be married and be happy and I'm going to have so much money and like, I'm going to smile so much. It didn't work.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
None of that worked. Okay. But I can fit in the plane seat better. So that's good.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Hi, this is Shelley. I've got some CVs for you. Also, I've got a meeting request for time to watch you try on kimonos.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
So Harry finally comes in to talk to the captain.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
And he's like, great. Well, let's find some things you can do, maybe in the galley, making beds, you know, things that will make me not fire you.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
So now we get one of my favorite things in Below Deck where it's like the truth behind the artist. So Laura is doing a Monte Carlo night and she's like, it's Monte Carlo. It's black dye themed dinner. My creativity definitely comes from my mum. She's very good at art, art school, drama, that kind of area.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I just loved all of that stuff, which has led me to rolling napkins with coins around napkin rings. I mean, I'm basically the Picasso of my neighbourhood these days. Mum is so proud. I know.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
that feeling of when you put on the perfect theme that feeling of just knowing that you've done it it's a very close second to sex that's why i always orgasm whenever i put up a black balloon on casino night oh yes unwrapping just imagine this you're unwrapping something flat and then you grab both ends of it and pull them towards you just pull it and it unfolds into a giant 3d strawberry now that
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
It's just like sex. They show her. She's like, what I do is art. And then they start showing pictures and it's like those paper decorations hanging from ceilings. Wow, you really big lots this out. Congratulations.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
So I love art. Well, and also Marina, she's like, I love scuba diving because my dad took me. I'm like, hello, none of you are fucked up enough to be on this show.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I need children who have been left behind. We don't even have a guy with bad tattoos this season, do we? I think everybody is like tattoo free. Kind of like it's weird. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if Disneyland started casting this, but you guys, I need some trauma. I need some drug addiction. I need some abandoned children. I need some dead parents stat. Come on.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I don't know. I scrubbed their names out of my memory. They're out of my DVR once the season's over. There's too much below deck. But somebody did. I was like, wow. Someone must have.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Slay that art dragon, bro. Slay the mom dragon. So Serena is radioing for people to wash her kitchen. And then Harry is going into the kitchen. There's a big mess. And he's like, oh my God, fucking hell, this is messy. Anthony wasn't lying about this. Excuse me, you started some of this drama. Sir. Yeah. Last week. So don't you complain. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy the weeds that you sowed.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Listen, don't tell. Maids making out, maids making out, maids making out. Second day of charter.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I'm not just serving grilled cheese. I'm serving grilled cheese without crust.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
So at the table, they're like, oh my God, it's so hot. Why is it so hot out here? And Jason comes to the table and the French onion soup is served with the toasties in the middle. And everybody just stares at it. And Lara's like, oh, God, onion soup is not pretty. Let's be honest. I mean, some chefs get defensive about their food and Serena's insane.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
So I'm not really sure what to do, but I can't wait to say nothing about this.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
uh captain is dumping anthony in the galley he's like right start to clean up your stuff here because we can drive you to the marina straight away there's a line there's a line all right you quit you leave immediately all right i just like to keep that line all right would you like a kimono on your way out please hashtag captain jason did you hear that captain jason's all about his kimonos because he's starting a kimono line
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
And it's also hot as fuck. One of the guys is like, uh, is that a cheese sandwich and soup? She's like, it is. It's a French onion soup with truffle Parmesan toasties. And he's like, oh God, I can feel the sweat going down my spine. And another one's like, yeah, it's pretty heavy. Uh, and, uh, the main guy is like, this shit's so heavy. I would never even let it in one of my seminars.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Hey, could someone give this soup a bracelet? It says lose some fucking weight.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I get it. She's stuck in a galley all day. She doesn't get to like co-mingle with everybody like everybody else. I mean, it's like me. I don't do any co-mingling and I have a task rabbit coming today and I shaved my nuts. Is it sad? Yes. Is it logical? It's completely not. I'm not going to do anything with the task rabbit, but I found a hot task rabbit. At least his picture says he's hot.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
And you know what? That's it. I took a shower. Just in case. I deodorized. I'm wearing completely clean clothes, clean underwear. I mean, that's crazy over here. You're getting ready. He's going to show up. I'm going to have a tie on. I'm going to be like, hello. Come in, please. Would you like to sit down? Need any dinner?
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
And so now dinner is served and douchebags over there like, yeah, millennials, like we had to work hard. What the fuck are you talking about? People have been complaining about millennials for three decades, sir.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
But Gen Xers had the whole movies, like reality bites about how lazy we are and how uninspired we are. Yeah, and now we're like, oh, we had to do everything ourselves and we're full of shit. And so we're millennials. I think it's just nature where young people are like, old people suck and they smell and old people are like, These kids, we had to work hard in our day. It's all a lie.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Humanity is known for being fairly lazy and good for nothings until we're too old to actually do anything. And then we complain that we worked harder than anybody else.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
So then, you know, they're complimenting each other. They're like, yeah, you guys look good at least. At least the staff looks good. So then someone's like, it looks like that steak has an au jus on it. She goes, yeah, it's carrot puree and Parmesan crisp. It's like, you've ruined our only protein with sugar and Parmesan.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
But one of the guys is like, yeah, this fucking generation, all they're obsessed with is fame. Can you imagine living a life where all you care about is money and celebrity? And one of the friends goes, yeah, that's just fucking disgusting. Okay, people who just paid to be on a boat so you could increase your celebrity. You are so, you're such a fucking hypocrite. No, no, it's more than that.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Such low vibrations, bro. So Captain Jason is not impressed with these people or this dinner. He's like, you know, 10 out of 10 is flavor, presentation, you know, gold kimono. But this was about a 7 out of 10. I mean, we hit some points. You know, the guests seem happy. They also seem completely ridiculous. But they're happy.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
And I know it's a tough time for Serena, but the food has still got to be 100%. You know, I need Serena's food to be as good as she is crazy.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
That's Captain Jason kimono lounge and it's called Captain Jason Chambers cabin. Is that what it's called? The captain's lounge? Oh, it's called the captain's lounge. If you go on his Facebook, you can see him lying back in a kimono and giving sexy eyes to the camera. I don't think this is going to work for a lot of people. We'll say this right now.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah, I mean, it's like, yeah, and the filet mignon should have been seared. And she's like, I tried to sear it. And he goes, you couldn't get it hot enough? She goes, no, I mean, it gets hot. It's just that I didn't want to burn it, you know? And he's like, okay, well, we're going to have to fight through these hiccups.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I think it's very natural that a five-star chef doesn't know how to sear a filet mignon. So that's something I can work with, thankfully.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Oh my God, it's just rough because, you know, I mean, first I had Anthony in here questioning my food, and now I've got him in here questioning my food. Well, then make less questionable food. And I'm not saying that that's okay for Anthony. You should have just told Anthony to shut up.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah, she's like, oh my God, thank God. I thought he was ghosting me. Oh God, thanks for your offer of one hand.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
It'd be like robbed and killed. Because they're weak. Because they're always like goofily smiling. It's like when I went into that liquor store down the street from my place in LA that I lived for years, I went in, there was always this Russian guy who worked there. And one day he's like, listen, I like you, but please let me give you advice. This thing you do. I said, what?
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
He goes, with your mouth. And I was like, smile. He goes, yes, stop that. And I said, why? I'm just being friendly. And he's like, don't do it. Where I come from, it makes you stupid. I said, what do you mean to me? Like, stupid. Like, I don't study because I smile. He's like, no, you know, special stupid. I'm like, oh, okay. I'm an asshole. But it's always kind of stuck. I still do it.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
You know, I still walk in everywhere like, hi, Harry. But I've always thought about it. And I think about it when I see these two together.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Even I would rob them. I would push them down to the street and rob them.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
So anyway, they've probably got special security at their concerts. They're like, somebody's threatening to slay us again. The alpha's here.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Look at Harry. Are you looking at the Facebook thing?
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Yes, we can-a, it's Sedana.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Oh my gosh. Charting a new course, how moving to the Philippines changed my life. When I made the bold move to a beautiful and remote spot in the Philippines a few years back, I was searching for a new adventure and a fulfilling life for myself and my family. This journey wasn't without its challenges, so I took off my underwear and put on some silk. Captain's Lounge.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
That's fine. Noticing that. Yeah, I'm looking for it. Well, wait, let me go to shop. My online store is launching soon. Well, you know my ass is going to be on this store.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Get on the mailing list to get your complimentary kimono. It's the captain's lounge. Wow. Love it. That said, I don't think that fashion is going to work for me. If anything, I need like, I don't know, the five Snuggies, whatever. I'm not really a kimono. I don't think I could pull off a kimono.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah. All right. So anyway, he's firing that douchebag Anthony. So Anthony's just like, okay. And so then he points to Serena like, okay, you got your wish. Now have fun doing everything yourself. And she's like, oh God, I need to kick into gear. Yeah. Everything's going to be fine. Yeah. Everything's going to be fine down here.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
How you put on your shirt speaks to yours. I think that he's maybe like Houdini-ing it. Like he's always trying to figure out a problem. Like, this shirt's lazy. Shirt don't do what it's supposed to do, mate. And just like trying to like crawl through the shirt. Like, wow, you're the man. You got through your shirt. Congratulations.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
So Vian's like, oh fuck, this industry ain't for the faint holiday, mate. And they're like, yeah. And so Adair calls it. She's like, Serena's going to freak. She's going to freak y'all. And so he's now saying bye to Brianna. And then he's telling us, I feel really confident about my decision to leave. As I look back on the season, the one regret I have is taking the job in the first place.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
I just wish we could follow him to watch him fail miserably at his next job. Because I have a feeling he will.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
So he's like, I'm excited to be a head chef on the next boat. Cook things my way, not be pushed into a box. All right.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
She's like, I'll send you some CVs as long as you promise to wear pants. We're having a problem with HR on the kimonos, sir.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
And Australian Norma is named Shelly. And she's like, last minute, but we'll look and get back to you. Yeah, Shelly, we know it's last minute. I love Shelly's attitude. She's like, little last minute.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
So then the drinks are delivered to the guests while Serena is like, oh, now that Anthony's gone, I've just got so much more to do. Cleaning, cooking. I've got to do everything, don't I? Yeah. Welcome back to being a chef on Below Back where you don't have help.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
You'll do it again. I believe in you. Just kidding. But I'm excited to see whatever happens.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Yeah, and her face is giving me confidence. This is her face. She just looks terrified. So this is going to happen immediately. So Brianna's like, What do you think is going to happen with Harry? She's like, oh, God, I don't know. But I worry about the season without my boy. I worry about it. Because let's not forget, Harry is in the hospital about to die from a thumbnail emergency.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
So he could be gone at any second. So Brianna's like, I mean, I was really looking forward to getting to know him. We haven't had our talk about kissing.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
It's like bras, all right? Look. A bird in your hand, is that really better than two birds in the bush? You know what I say? Fuck birds. Kill the fucking birds. Rip their skin off and eat them. You need the protein, all right? Who needs three birds? You do, all right? Swallow the fucking birds. What are you going to keep them the rest of your life? Waste not, want not. That's what I always say.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
Here's the question.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one to hear it, then that tree sucked and it didn't deserve to be in there in the first place. That's why I say raise all the fucking forests, all right? We need more paper in this world and less fucking iPads. Staring at your iPad so much is what causes blindness, not masturbation. Masturbate on a full, flat land with no trees.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
That's what I always say.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
This guy is such a fucking douchebag. And not only is he just... a regular douche bag. He's also just terrible at his job. I mean, as someone who's read a lot of self-help books, now listen, I'm not saying they stuck, but I have read a lot of them. And this is just so hack. He's like a self-help book reader of like, I don't know, signed from a home goods, you know? He's like, live, laugh, love.
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#2740 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part One: No Excuses, Brah
That's what I always say, bro. Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris. Kitchen. It's like kitchen, bro. Kitchen. This is the fucking kitchen.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
What if I don't make my money back? What if people don't buy merch? What if people don't buy tickets to the event? Not one question of what if my hot dogs aren't good? Come on, let's get our head in the game. Okay.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
No. He's doing the merch because of something about her, because that was the Vanderpump Rules thing. They never even opened their restaurant, and they made a quarter of a million dollars just on merch.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Yeah. I'm tested market. Well, they like $20 hot dogs. That's the question. How much are these hot dogs? I want to know. We're going to have it. I'm in the day. I don't even like hot dogs, but I'm going to have one one day. I love hot dogs.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I'm a pescatarian, but even I, some of my best memories are Tencent hot dog night at the Diablos games in El Paso when I was a kid. That's the only reason I would go to sports is so I could get a Tencent hot dog.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So that's all this said, TJ sent us some sir. Wieners March. Hello. No, I'm saying TJ do it. Oh, I thought you said he did send us.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I like his business model. I think it's smart. I mean, look, he knows that his money is going to be coming from merch. That's what he's doing. So you go boy, send us some free.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So he's like, yeah, what if people don't like it? So then he's like, well, Sir Wiener's stuff is going well. But at our boys brunch in Vegas, like, I got, like, an arrogance vibe from Will. So he was, like, totally not... I didn't get, like, wiener's vibe from Bill.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
It's just weird. He wouldn't put a hot dog selling on the same level as lawyering. It's like really offensive. So then back to the restaurant, Mia's like, well, I was talking to Emmy and you know how she just doesn't want to hear it? Well, she said that Austin has it all twisted and that law school is, they're bullies and that they're just creating rumors about each other to watch each other fail.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And then we see the flashback where she's like, where Emmy's like, you guys!
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
law school is different someone has a vendetta against will like they compete against each other there it's like totally different you guys she goes yeah i know i've seen legally blonde so yeah well we'll tell us the same thing we see footage of will telling the guys the same thing he's got a bully like i'm just imagining again like a lawyer in a varsity jacket like shoving will into like a law school like locker
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Listen, I love a burrito, so I'm not even going to go up against torts, but you know what I'm saying. And who makes up rumors that you're like extremely virile? They're like, let's take Will down. Let's make him look like he's getting laid all over the place. Guys hate that.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
They're like, guys, we cannot shoot this scene until the cart wrangler arrives, okay? Seriously, you guys. And so the cart wrangler's like, oh, by the way, it's not the same cart that we thought. Because we thought it was going to be like one of those L.A. carts with a flat top where they're cooking onions and stuff. But it's not. It's like a steamed hot dog cart. Yeah.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Get you some wieners. It's Sir Wieners, y'alls. Sir Wieners. This is season three, episode eight, Wieners and Losers. We see overhead shots of Charlotte and then we go to Michael's house and he's unloading his dryer and his shorts got stuck so he's untwirling his shorts.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So then, yeah, they're like, oh, my God, TJ, how are we going to get through this gate? He's like, I measured it. Okay, well, I thought we were going to have trouble getting past the plants. He's like... I came here early and I moved the plants. Who's a lawyer now?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Well, I have to say, look, I've always looked at you as a good person, but this is the most empathetic you've ever been. This is like... It takes hot dog carts to get you this empathetic. You're like, you guys, I put myself in the shoes of the hot dog cart movers.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I was mad at the hot dog cart design because can we make hot dog carts easier? Like where are the rubber wheels?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I can smell the bar rot from here. Like, let's stop acting like, oh.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So I didn't see that either. But I mean, her sister's cute and everything. But I don't know. This is like some sort of illusion here.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Well, Peyton's just looking at her like, you're buying this lunch, right? Because I'm so uncomfortable. Like, pretending that Will's not a total dirtbag. So then we see a flashback to the Vegas dinner where Austin's like, apparently it's common knowledge at this law school that this man has slept with multiple people. And then Emmy's like, slow motion tears squirting out.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So then back to the restaurant, she's like, Um, so I start to like have a panic attack, like, why are we going out? Oh my God, can good people just win sometimes? Like I have to defend something that's not true, you know? It was like, shut down. Like long story short, like he's being bullied. You know what I mean? And I'm like not been going through bullshit with each other.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Like if anything, it's made us love each other even more. Like, if anything, I want Will's baby inside of me right now. Like, he deserves it. He deserves it. How's your salad?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Oh, question, question. Waiter, come here, come here, come here, come here, waiter. I just wanted to ask you something about the menu. Okay, yes. Should Will and I get married in London? Is that a yes or no? Yes or no?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I just want to get married somewhere where everybody's as white as Will. Um, Peyton's like, um, that would be fun. So like, it's good that you believe well, cause personally I wouldn't. She goes, what? What do you mean? What do you mean by that? What do you mean you wouldn't? What?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And I mean, it's like, look, like, I mean, look, something you don't understand, like you're like young Sydney Sweeney is like, you don't really understand things like old Sydney Sweeney does now. And like, when you're an adult, things are different. So like, you just take a lot more shit because you're that much closer to being a barrister's wife.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I'm traumatized. And then we go to TJ's and he's unloading Sir Wiener's merch from boxes and vacuuming it, vacuuming each piece as it comes out. And then we go to Elite Fitness where Brad is being very motivating. He's like, guys, do pushups.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
she's like i mean usually if you cheat on the person you're dating it's because you don't even love the person anymore so right and she goes uh-huh i mean like from your opinion like do i seem happy like because the only people who cheat are like unhappy in their marriage that's not true how people in happy marriages cheat all the time yeah some of them yeah yeah exactly and i think it i often i think has nothing to do with happiness i think it's just like
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Men are pigs and we get boners. And once you get a boner, the boner starts telling you what to do. Okay. The boner is the boss. And sometimes that just, I'm not saying it's right, but I'm just saying there's no, a guy doesn't need some deep, dark, emotional reason to cheat on your ass. Okay. He's got some free time and he's got a boner.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Yeah. Sometimes you don't even need a boner. Even guys without boners can cheat on you. You know, guys are very multifaceted.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And this is why we need cameras in everybody's car, because you know that the second they got in there, she's like, what the fuck was that, Peyton? I called you fucking Sidney Sweeney.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So now we go to Plef Maud Pottery, you know, which every young person loves. Every free, love and fun young person loves to do. Go to the pottery store with the gang. So they go to the make your own pottery place and Preston's there.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Wow. Yeah. Preston says we should do it upside down girl. That's a man who's already ready to cheat on you.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
No. I mean, I don't know nothing about Spongebob. I've always been too old for that shit. Even if I was a kid when that came out, I still would have been too old. I was just like that as a kid. I would have been smoking a cigarette at five. Like, nope, I'm not watching this. That man is pockmarked and square. Get me someone hotter. I need a hotter thing to look up to.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
But this is, this is what Preston's bringing it up. He's not bringing up SpongeBob. This is upside down pineapple. It means you're a swinger couple and you're going to each other's friends.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
That's what that means. So Michael's is like, things are definitely great with Preston. Like, I mean, we talked every day in Vegas and made sure I was sure I made sure he was shirtless when we FaceTime. Cause I miss his body. Yeah.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I love this for her. She's not interested in Bradley because she's dating this girl instead. And she's like, yeah, we were like 16 and we just started like making out one day. I felt so comfortable around her. Like she was my sexual awakening. So yeah, we have a soul bond. So back at pottery, like it's like, Shelby's met my whole, no, like says Shelby's met my whole family.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And Michael says, even your dad? And Shelby goes, oh yeah, Mr. Rucker, very direct businessman. Yeah.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
the struggle with being gay in the South, you know? And she's talking, I did find it amusing that she's like, yeah, my family's like super Christian and super successful. And so like, I don't want to embarrass them, which is why I fucked a guy last week on camera. It's like, you just put a guy back to her hotel room last week.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
But it was a good conversation. And, you know, she's with, you know, three other queer people. So they're telling, you know, Preston's like, if they don't know who you are, you're going to disappoint them, you know, because they're proud of who they don't even know. You know, they need to know who you really are. And Michael's talking about his mom and.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And he was always trying to get a girlfriend to please other people. And he's like, you're going to get to a point where you're like, okay, I'm painting an upside down pineapple because some hot guy wants me to. And that's just it.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Um, let's see what else happens here.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And yeah, it was, it was a nice scene. Sorry. I was texting my dad cause he's coming over to the internet.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I was 15 years old. I was like, hello. So then Republic Garden Lounge and Patio, it's time for Sir Wieners. So guess who's here? Our favorite, Leah CEO. Sir Wieners, did I knight that motherfucker? I don't think so. You are not sir until I tell you you're sir. Welcome to Sir Wieners. I am Leah motherfucking CEO.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
You know what? Are you putting merch here? Because if I was you, I would move that furniture and put merch there. But I don't want to step on any wieners here. I'm only a CE motherfucking O. You do it how you want to do it. Would you like to lose money today? Good. You're on the right track. Congratulations. I'm not getting paid for this shit.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Yeah. So then we go to Emmy's apartment. Well, I mean, so far, you know, drawstrings and, um, hydration. So then we go to Emmy's and they're eating takeout, uh, very, um, insanely because it's Emmy. So she's like, yeah. how was your day? How was your day? Oh my God. He's like, I'm exhausted. Cause like I've been at work, I'm working, like I'm a lawyer.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So she's like, wow, so you're going to put hot dogs on actual hot dog buns instead of little napkins that can be wiped across a table to make it cleaner. Good for you. In the mood to lose money, you're on the right track, you fucking snoozer.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I think it is because how can you do, I mean, he has a huge menu. He made hot dogs. I took a screenshot of it. I shouldn't look through my screenshots right now. I've taken screenshots of so many shameful things. Okay, Sir Wiener's menu, the PB Wiener time, the You Up Dog, the Meanie Weanie, the Dumpster Dog, fully loaded all-beef hot dog toast with chili, melted cheese.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Basically, there's a ton of stuff on here, and there's a lot of toppings. Where are you going to put those on that hot dog cart? That's what I don't understand. You need a bigger cart, and you need a flat top.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
But you know what, though? The dumpster dog looks good. The PB wiener time looks good. Wait, a hot dog layered with smooth peanut butter, crunchy pretzels, diced bacon, and a touch of garlic crunch? What the fuck is that?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So like, I don't know if you'd noticed, but I have a highlighter. So pretty, pretty big deal. It's a lot of responsibility.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And also the pickles on the It's All About Wieners look a little pale. I need a different picture for that one too.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I will say the hot dog buns look good. The buns look great. I would say 80% of these hot dogs look really good. I would eat, honestly, I would eat every single one of them.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Okay. So then people start showing up and there's like a big martini full of tiny little hot dog things in there. And Will sees it and he's like, oh, my God, hot dogs in a martini glass. Oh, God. Objection.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I find them like disgusting. Hot dogs are like the lowest tier of sausages. You're the lowest tier of sausage. You are the lowest tier. How dare you?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So- No, he's the most accessible form of sausage.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Yeah, so she's like, hey, guys, I got a wiener costume from Amazon. I'm, like, the best friend here. This is amazing.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I mean, there are plenty of people that you haven't fired here who have been drinking on the job. She goes, like who? Like me. You've been drinking on the job? Yeah. you're fired.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So rules did it for at least six of the 10 years. So I think they'll be okay. Yeah.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
This was sad. I was like, wow, the stars are all out today. Rodrigo. Have you noticed, not Rodrigo, Rod, have you noticed that Taylor has a totally different personality on this show? It's weird. I didn't say that. Relaxed and energetic.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I was just geeked out of my mind for the past four months. So, yeah, 15 hours really isn't that much. But so what's up with you? And he's like, did you not hear me talk about a highlighter? I mean, I could use 15 hours. I work. I'm a lawyer. And she's like, oh, yeah, I'm still recovering from Vegas. I mean, baby, you had to deal with everyone's bullshit. You poor guy. That's like so hard.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So yeah, the stars are out tonight. So Lovah's talking to Maddie. She's like, how was Vegas? And Maddie's like, it was so much fun. We got fake married. Don't worry, though. It was only fake. Don't ask Joe about it. He thinks it's real. Super fun. I was just like, what? I have no rings. So it was a commitment ceremony. It was just, it was hilarious.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And Brad's like, I don't know what quantum physics Joey bottles has been doing, but four months does not translate into a year. So quantum physics guys. All right.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So then Brad's like, yeah, Joe's a little insecure there. You know, he doesn't want to be left behind. So then TJ is mingling around and love is like, oh, my God, this event is like such a success. I'm like so proud of TJ. You know, like he's not only benefiting me, he's benefiting my spaces. So Sir Wiener's partnership. Yeah.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
We're like totally fine. I mean, I bought a wiener outfit. So like, have you seen it? I was wearing it. It was hilarious. He's like, um, can I ask you something? So, um, last night I thought we were like really loving each other and we're at a better place. But then when you left, Taylor was like, Emmy said, this is all your fault this summer.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And you're just like a stupid vacuumer and you're never going to find love. And she's like, oh no, no, Taylor.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
i was afraid she was gonna say that what i was saying was like i really support hot dogs and i'm totally into you and you're doing an amazing job that's so weird i wonder how she heard that yeah i didn't blame you i didn't blame you for whatsoever not at all nothing everything's fine everything is totally fine because i just like want to truly believe that like it wasn't like trying to conspire or like come after you like i just want you to believe that i know i know we're tj's just like
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I hope that it didn't come off like I'm trying to ruin your relationship with Will because he's a cheating bastard and I want you to break up.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I was like, what are people following you to the bathroom now? Oh. I'm thinking we'll get a break. He's a lawyer.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Yeah. So she's like kissing his butt. She's like, I mean, it's our winners. You're like the king of dicks. Am I right? So it's like fitting. It's great. It's great. We're good. We're good. We're good. Hot dog. I'm hot dog. And so then she tells us, she's like, yeah, I don't trust TJ. I mean, I mean, he'll turn on you if it benefits him.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Like if he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, you're on his fucking bad side. It's exhausting. And that's why I'm being friend to him because I'm like terrified of him. Okay. Let's roll a clip of him yelling at women. So then we get that clip and she's like, yeah. So I'm going to be nice to him. So he doesn't ruin my life. So hope he doesn't hear this.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So TJ's like, my event was amazing. The bar did five grand on Wednesday and I sold a hundred tickets at the door. So I basically made all my money back. I was like, how much were those tickets?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I love you too. Are we married? No, I'm already married, bro. Sorry. So then the next day at Maddie's house, she's talking to her mom, Mary Ellen. And Mary Ellen is like, she goes, hey, mom, how are you doing? She goes, I'm running around. Good. Good. Running around. Incredibly busy. So what is Joe there? Is Joe there at your house? And she's like, no, mom, but we did get fake married.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And she's like, did you sign any fake papers, Madison? It's like, no, mom, I'm not stupid. Did you fuck him on TV again? Because I told you if you fucked another person on TV, I was going to be very upset. No, mom. Seriously. Yeah.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I just think, like, my number one priority is, like, my career right now. She was like, well, dad and I taught you how to be an independent woman, honey. And your identity is Maddie Reese, DJ, L.O. fucking Allen. Don't you forget it.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I'm really musical. That's why I'm so musical. We're basically like the Sound of Music family. But, you know, with old Michael Jackson records and a play button. So then Joe comes home and she's on the couch and he's like, you look really pretty right now. You look like my wife. You are my wife. So what are you working on, DJ shit? Are you like remixing wedding music? Like, don't cry out loud.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Is that a wedding song? I meant that showy dance, that one where the girl's dad is dead, but like she still dances at the wedding. That was like really sad. I'm crying.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
She's like, yeah, well, like, I appreciate, like, TJ and Will because, like, you know, TJ's, like, tried to have an independent relationship, like, with you and with me. But, like, I can't, like, have a relationship with him if he's, like, coming for my man. You know what I mean? So, like, if it's not going to be worked out with you, it's not going to be worked out with me. I mean, that's just it.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
yeah fuck yeah like are you looking for houses for yourself or for like us oh god this scene is so cringe to watch she's like um well like i want to invest in real estate and i'm like sick of paying rent and you know like i have to like grow up and like live on my own or like i guess live with you but like i really like living with my girlfriends joe and he goes yeah but like i like living with your girlfriends too but like it's been like five months of me going all the way over there and spending every night there
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I don't own my things. It's like, it's growing. It's really growing. Buy me a house.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Then buy a car and stop your bitching.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
so just like oh so we're like moving in together because like i have money saved up too and she goes um no that's like pressure okay and we're like in this honeymoon phase but i want to communicate like how you feel about it because like i'm not pressuring you i'm just saying like my honest truth is like we're married and we need to live together like yesterday you know what i mean and she's like um we don't need to make that decision right now joe she's like
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
why am I paying rent when you could be buying a house? Like, this is ridiculous. Like, I can't just like drive to that house 30 minutes. Like, I'm just not, I'm not doing that for another year. She goes, yeah, then don't. What the fuck are you talking about?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Oh, my God. Joe basically got a child putting a dry cleaning bag over their head and running around the house. You're suffocating them. OK, stop suffocating her. She acts like she doesn't want you to be there because she doesn't want you to be there. And you're there all the fucking time. Go home, Joe. Go home.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I stand by my man. That's it. You are not having sex with the people in the bathrooms. I'm so fucking sick of hearing it.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And she's like, but you're putting me in the same situation, Joe. And he's like, oh, you're the one looking at houses. Like, I mean, look, does that guy make you a better person? Okay, look, let me phrase it this way. Does your husband make you a better person? Like, are you better at work? Do I make you a better DJ? Like, who's the one who taught you the crossfade whoopee?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Okay, that was me, okay? Did I give you more confidence? Are you happy sleeping with me six out of seven times a week or seven out of seven times a week? Like, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you? And she's like, yes, Joe.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And he's like, and the fact that you had to even think about it, she's like, I didn't have to think about it, but it's like the whole world ripped me apart from moving in with Trevor. And now you want me to do it again.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
She's trying to win a logical argument with Joe. She's basically saying, you judged me for moving in too quick, but now you want me to move in with you even quicker. Leave me alone. That shouldn't be the argument. The argument should be like, it's nice dating you. We're not really married. I'm not ready to move in with you, period. I'm buying a house and we're not buying a house. Stop it.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
You're fucking suffocating me. And Matt is going to either cheat on him or break up with him. There's no way because she's so not into this. And it's not because she doesn't want to move in with him and all of this. You can tell she just does not want to be in this. And I think she's in the situation where she's like, now we're in it.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And now if I break up with you, I'm going to get a bunch of shit because now you're like this sweetheart, you know, and you're looking like the perfect boyfriend when you're really being kind of a controlling asshole. And now the world's going to rip me apart again if I break up with you.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And like, first of all, stop the car. Joe knows what it's like to be called an idiot. on the internet. We've been doing it for three days.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
By the way, have you heard all the controversy? I mean, that's basically the whole conversation, but have you heard the controversy of her song that she came out with? It's a total ripoff. No. You haven't? Oh, it's a total fucking ripoff. It's not even original at all. Well, she didn't rip off anybody worth a damn. No offense. But La La La La La was not original? No, it's La La's song.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
La La had another song. Oh, it really is La La?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Yeah, it was a ripoff of La La, but it turns out, allegedly, it's like something you could just buy online. And DJs will buy online and kind of remix to be their own thing. And she didn't change anything about it. Yeah. And there are sites like that for DJs where you can find, you know, beats and stuff like that to mix in. But apparently they just took this whole song and just.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
maybe put some law laws over it, but.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Yeah, we do it for this. Yeah. But it's not serious, you know, like real, but no, no, because we actually put the stuff together. Like we chose different beats out of garage band and mix and match. She didn't do that. She like literally took something that was already done and I
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
You're right. Every scene. I didn't even notice that at first, but you're right. Everybody's like, I'm so tired.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Yeah. All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being here for some Southern Hospital. We'll be back later. Well, we'll be back every day, but later in the week is our Traders Recap. Our most recent Traders Recap is already up, so go check that out over at Patreon. And if you want these on videos, patreon.com.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
If you want tickets, watchwhatcrappens.com for all our live shows coming up in March, April, and May. We sure love you guys. Bye, everyone.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C, Dana Do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Okay. So then he's like, yeah, I can give you a massage now because we're married. I can't believe you're my wife, Charleston.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Yes, we can-a. It's Savannah.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
She ain't no shrinking violet couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Thanks. So what do I got to do this week, Joe? I'm like, what's on my iCal? And he's like, um, be my wife. So then Maddie's like, um, this wedding isn't real, but I think that Joe Bradley thinks that it's real. So, and then we cut back and she's like, uh, get out of the bed so I can make it. And he goes, yo, let's go wife.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Cause you know, they're brushing their teeth together and he's doing that thing where he's like staring at her through the mirror. And she's like, just trying to brush my teeth, Joe. Oh, you know what? By the way, Joe, you know what really fucking bothers me when you shave your face and you get little hairs everywhere. You really fucked up Joe.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
And he's like, yeah, like we work through it because that's what like married people do.
Watch What Crappens
#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
We need to go matching roads, because we're married now. She's like, oh, Jesus Christ, Joe. I swear to fucking God. So then we got back to Emmys, and she's like, the crazy part is when me and Maddie got back from playing blackjack, Joe was so pissed at us. Uh-oh. Dun, dun, dun. And again, the camera crew was in bed. Hi, you're on a TV show. You need to be awake in Vegas.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Well, they can't film at the blackjack table, but you can't film when they're coming home from blackjack.
Watch What Crappens
#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
It's not our actual wedding night, Joe. Oh my God. So he's like, yeah, but I ordered us all this room service, like steak, caviar, lobster. And Emmy's like, oh my God. He even goes, I ordered you a gluten-free BLT. Has Will ever done that for you? Like, I get it. And I like, I like Emmy for the most part, but girl, she, he's talking to Will. What has Will ever done for you?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I mean, like, it's totally different. Like, I'm in love with, like, the idea of you, you know, because it's like you. Like, I'm a lawyer's wife. It's totally different. Like, Maddie is pathetic. Like, ew. Oh, my God. Objection. I can say that as lawyer's wife, right? Right, Will? How is Emmy saying, I worry that Maddie loves the idea of Joe?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Girl, you love the idea of what Will could be so much that you're letting him fuck other people in bathrooms and not even arguing about it. Like, there was a whole new rumor of him fucking people in bathrooms.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So like, I had so much fun in Vegas. I had a hot hookup with Artisman and I had a hot make out with Brad and now it's like time to close the box and put it in a closet and never like open it again. Cause what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except syphilis. I don't even know how that thing caught on what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Nothing I've ever done in Vegas has stayed in Vegas.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
I'm still ashamed about it all the damn time.
Watch What Crappens
#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Nicholas Cage died there. And Elizabeth Shue had to watch it. And we all know about it.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Did she? I don't think she did. Elvis died on the toilet in Las Vegas.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Yeah. So then we go to the Republic, everybody's working. And so Joe's like, oh my God, I'm still recovering from Vegas. It's like harder to recover when you're a husband. And Brad's like, yeah, I had to work when we got back. Do you know how hard it is being like, push, push. It's like elite level, bro. He's like, yeah, I respect the fuck out of you for that, bro.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Sorry. I'm like freaking out a little bit. Guys. I wonder what love is doing. Oh God. I hope she doesn't get more than 30 seconds today. Here she comes. She's like, Michael's is definitely a unicorn. He's so wise beyond his years. No one on the team can do what Michael's does. Cut to Leah CEO, like cutting her kneecaps slowly in anger.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
It's like, hey, I'm in charge tonight. How many peas are unhappy? Anybody remember?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Guys, the happy birthday sign came out misspelled, and the dot was missing from on top of the I, but when I went to wipe it off, it looked like there was Coke on there. Cloris Leachman, do you have anything to say about that? Spelling is subjective. That's what I say.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
So, shots of work. Everybody's working, working, working, working. And then we go to TJ and Mia. And she's, like, really hot. And he goes, yeah. But are you, like, big and sweaty? Or are you Charleston sweaty? Yeah.
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
She's like, guys, too doily or not too doily? That is the question. Am I right?
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#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All
Mia's like, well, TJ's about to blow the fuck up. Are you excited about that? TJ, did you have gluten? Now she means like professionally because of Sir Wieners. Okay. I'm really excited to get back the money that I put in. And just a couple of days is the launch of Sir Wieners. I'll be debuting my merch, all the hot dogs, my specialty cocktails. It's like so much pressure.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
You were falling down drunk all over the boat last night while you were chain smoking all over it.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And, of course, Chase is like, give me some fucking credit, will you? Credit for being the best mother I knew how to be. And he's like, I do my job, and I do it fast. I could do Gary's job blindfolded. Babe, you just dropped the shackle thing yesterday. Yeah. You shackle-shaking motherfucker.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Um, so then he went in and he's like, oh my God, uh, Gary goes in and he's like, I do chase to go and get to how you, so he could get do the name. And he said, no, and now he's going to go at them. What do you mean?
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Could we just keep shooting to the shackle, the shackle drop? Yeah, just keep.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
He keeps like flapping his hands. He's like.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Oh, party. It's ladies night. Yeah. Day one, the guests would lock in all around the world dinner and ask that the chef prepare a variety of dishes from all different cuisines.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I've never heard that one before. And I have to say, as a waiter and somebody who's watched every episode of Below Deck ever, I've never heard somebody say, I only eat romaine. Please, keep your baby lettuce to itself.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
If you're looking to get away with all the fabulous luxe experience of the Housewives, but none of the drama, check out Virgin Voyages.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Also, arguably Romaine. The green cheese wedge is the most popular. Nobody understands why.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I love that the wedge goes off and becomes the most famous out of the group.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
yeah all shellfish red meat and nuts that's a lot and then strawberries mango kiwi what the come on that's just enough this is just this is just too many made up american diseases in one for anybody to take it seriously listen i'll take one gluten-free and one vegetarian that's it that's all you get okay you don't all get to have five different things that's crazy yeah it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
HERS is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
These are exclusively built kid-free cruises, so no matter what you're looking for, you can get the type of experience you need most, all catered to adult tastes.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I just did my place all mid-century modern, and I got the most beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
So he's like, where does that leave us? And it leaves you having dinner on the dock is what Gary says. All right. So let's go out with the bang. Right, guys. Danny's like, you cold?
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And so then we see Danny and Chase, like, making out and flirting and stuff. And Daisy's like, does anyone else not feel comfortable with the PDA?
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Yeah. And Danny is like, oh, my God, those two want to fuck. They just don't. They just don't know it. And he's like, Chase is like, yeah, Daisy lives with Gary and Gary just wants everyone for himself.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
But they've already fucked already anyway. So what do they care? You know, after the first few times, it's just like going, you know, like, wow, here I am at the same grocery store. I mean, there's only so many weeks you can be excited that there's a new Sprouts in the neighborhood. You know what I mean? After a while, you're like, why isn't there a bigger cheese section? Yeah. Yeah.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I know. Well, I found the fancy cheese selection today. Can you tell? I just went there before the show. I'm like, I'm on that at Sprouts. I'm like, damn it, Sprouts. You were so exciting two weeks ago. No, I found everything I need, y'all. Okay? You got some mustard? You got some feta? We're in business.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
It was on theme. I almost went to the Ralphs and I was like, have anybody have family members on Below Deck? See you later. Big mistake. Huge. So then let's go. We've got five minutes left. And so Davide is talking to Glenn and Davide is like, how many minutes do we have left of this? And he's like five. And he goes, oh, come on. Start another documentary then. I want to watch them. I'm Italian.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
So he turns on one and he's like, OK, well, this is the UFO whistleblower talking about recovered non-human biologics.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
well you know conspiracies have changed so much like conspiracy theorists just changed so much i used to love conspiracy threats and stuff until it all became like crazy q anon stuff you know so who knows i guess there's different levels you could be right i wonder i i i just he he's talking so much about this stuff now that i'm getting a little concerned
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Book now at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor. Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on your brows. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. We just got back from Sirius XM where we did the show of the illustrious Jeff Lewis. So that was a fun morning. And now we're here doing this below deck.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
But we know there's UFOs, so that's not a conspiracy anymore. And now we've got the Jersey drones. And yeah, I mean, I think we all know there's aliens and stuff, right?
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
So not anywhere in my address book, but it's out there.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And Gary's like, go to the guest cabin. She's like, I'm not going to the guest cabin. I'm going to bed, Gary. Shut up. So she says goodnight to Keith. And Keith just sums it up as, Gary and Daisy's relationship is incredibly complex. I think sometimes you just need someone new to wipe that clean. And then you say, no, actually, no, that person sucked.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Which is that whole, like, the only way to get over a man is to get under a new one. Yep.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Give me your hand, Gary. So they like touch hands from bunk to bunk. And she's like, today was rough, Gary. Today was rough. I mean, you'd been doing so good on your non-drinking thing. Remember there was that 10 minutes. This all went to hell.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
She's like, give me your hand, Gary. And she's taking her fingernail and scratching the word dry into his hand. Dry. I want to know what sandpaper feels like.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Then we go to Chase and Danny. So Danny's like, Chase, I want to give you reassurance about something that didn't mean anything to me. And he's like, that guy who came through, did you fuck him? And she's like, yeah. He's like, you didn't want to tell me the truth. You lied to me. It's like, it was the first time. The first time I lied to you. I'm so sorry.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And he's like, so you lied to make it easier? I'm so hurt. You are not, you fucking douchebag. Get the fuck out of here. You're just finding a way out. I'm standing up for Danny on here, and you are totally looking for a way out, you fuck boy.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
So Chase is like, I just don't give a fuck about her history. I care about how you treat me. Well, she hasn't fucked him since she met you. So leave her alone.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I mean, yeah, I agree with you on that one. That's ridiculous. And also he's doing the two four where he's like getting what he wants from her. Then he's getting to pout, which means that he's setting up what he's going to be getting in the bars when he leaves, which is like, oh, there's a poor mistreated Bravo guy.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
You know, we've seen it happen a million times, kids, a million times. Yeah. So he's going he's going down that route. I don't like that, you know. So and also another point on this is that we said Gary is going to go fuck this up tomorrow. And it doesn't look like Gary did. But of course, Gary did, because this this all started because Gary said, where is that guy?
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Where's that guy from the beach club? Not enough for Chase to get offended. So that made Danny think, oh, my God, they're going to use this against me. So now I have to tell Chase. And Chase saw it coming, obviously, because of what Gary had just said, mocking them. So, yeah, Gary strikes again.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I need to go off stage now. Thank you. I need a separate entrance for this next part.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
So he checks on Daisy and he's like, you look like you need a hug. And she's like, I always look like I need a hug. And I, yeah. Daisy just has, I need a hug energy. But then if you try and hug her, she's like, ow.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
So then Glenn tells us if Gary wants to be captain, he's going to need to leave this childish behavior behind him. Cut to Gary picking his nose and mushing a banana.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I still use MILF. I just say moms, I'd like to friend zone. I think that's cuter. So then the guests come and I love when they do those close-up slow-mo shots of this, like, here come the sexy guests. And it's just like some, like, I don't know, basement, filing's basement ladies kind of thing.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
sailing recap okay a couple of things we start touring this week friday we'll be in san francisco saturday we'll be in san diego we will be doing salt lake city reunion part one in both cities come check that out it's going to be super fun the next week we're on broadway in new york city
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Well, Daisy, for the trip around the world, there's the most restrictions I've ever seen. So, like, how does this sound? So he's going to do salad. He's going to do pesto. And then he has to do shit from every country. And it sounds insane. Like, he says everything. And Daisy goes, I would like that. I'd like that.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Rice is glutinous. No, rice is gluten-free. Rice is gluten-free.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Well, especially when he does things like a gluten-free pasta. He does a gluten-free pasta later, and he gives everybody... He gives the glutinous people gluten pasta, and then he gives the gluten-free ones gluten-free pasta. Just use gluten-free pasta for everybody. It's pretty good now.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
You know what's really good too? Gluten-free pretzels.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
So now Daisy is assigning Deanna to dinner on the flybridge at eight. And she's like, start setting up at six.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
and then they have to start preparing for around the world and danny's like what is the deco in there and diana's like just ask daisy i don't know i don't know what i'm saying on this so then it's uh the last charter guys so the girls are tired and danny is trying not to be bummed about a guy but it's danny so she's like i'm on autopilot right now but it's fun i did just flirt with a granola bar just sad but it was literally the only person in the mess hole so
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
at the town hall doing the golden crappy awards that's going to be so fun that show's coming together and voting is up now voting just went up so go vote in that okay and then next after that we're going to be in salt lake city and denver the following week so good times coming up go vote if you want this video it's on patreon as is where our as is where our
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I'm the only person who's been dumped by a kind bar. I mean, it's written in their name.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
So he's telling us he likes Danny, but he doesn't know what to do because he doesn't want her to feel like he's ignoring her. But, you know, he doesn't like being lied to. So today his guard is up.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
okay he has a little less trust today you have nothing to not trust this person oh i mean i wouldn't trust her but you don't have any reason to not trust her stop your penis doesn't win every contest dude she gets to do whatever she wants with her badge before you get there even if you were still there i mean that's none of your business sir yeah how about next time you put your guard up before you get some clip art tattoos all over your body okay that's exactly you did this to yourself
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
There's not a person on earth who wouldn't fuck other people if they knew that you were their only option for the next month or two.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Yeah, you make Adam Levine look like he's well thought out. Design work.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
You're putting art on your body. You need to make sure it's good. Yeah, exactly.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Yeah, because poor Gary just doesn't get any. Poor Gary, he's just aged out. I mean, I don't know. I don't want to say age, but it's like, he's just too dried up. Like nobody likes Gary. He's just too icky and gross now. And so she's like, we had to kiss, Gary. Geez, maybe two. And he's like, more? I can sleep in the crew mess if you'd like.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And so then he's like, maybe it's just us doing everything wrong here. We are the problem. And she goes, you're the problem, Gary. You're the problem.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
So then Chase checks in with Danny again and, you know, he's shocked that she's still being a little weird because he did say something to her earlier that, I mean, every girl falls for. He said... Orange, you glad? The day is almost done while she was making orange juice.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Also, Patreon is where our traders recaps are. That should go up later today. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
So he's like, are you all good? I just want to make sure we're on the same page. And she's like, about what? He's like, well, we had some talks about it in the master. You know, we've known each other for two weeks and we're about to go to opposite sides of the world. So I just don't know where we leave things. Like, it seems like to me, we just remain cool friends.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
But this is also a person who's been dumped a lot. It's like how Gary's so good with apologies. Now, like Gary, every day after he gets in a fight or acts like an asshole every day, he's like, that wasn't your fault. That was my fault.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And I will go forward working in love and harmony. That's literally someone who has to apologize 10 times a day. And Dani has had to give this speech so many times. It probably gets longer every time she gets it.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I was like, could you just get to the fucking point, lady?
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I was going to say, that's one thing he has in common with the rest of the audience.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Elevating my style used to mean breaking the bank, but with Quince, I get high-end, versatile pieces at prices I can actually afford. Now I can upgrade my style by snagging luxury essentials that sync with my vibe and my wallet.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
The best part? All Quince items are priced 50-80% less than similar brands.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices, along with premium fabrics and finishes. I love that.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Saving is so, so important. You know, with everything going on in the world, you never know what's going to happen and you need to have your little nest egg going.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Head to acorns.com slash crappins or download the Acorns app to get started.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Investing involves risk. Acorn Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash cravens. So now it's bedtime and wake-up time for the next day. So Daisy checks in with Cloy's. He's doing family style, which sounds horrible to do with people with all these allergies, but you do you. And then the guests start playing with the rope swing.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And then Danny is telling Deanna about her talk with Chase. And Deanna's like, well, what do you want? Let me tell you what I would like. A chance.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And Danny, I thought Danny was going to be mad at Daisy for trying to make her more mad at Chase, but she wasn't. She went straight for Chase. She's like, wait a minute, you've done it before. So wait, obviously it's human nature to be like, okay, but why not me? If you would go to Australia for her, why not me? And I'm in. Cause you're Danny. Sorry.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Alicia can like, she has just a lot more things going on. You know, she could cook really well from what I remember. Yeah.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
They're like, really? And then Medea Lichtenstein is like, Well, my elbows are skinned up and I got my knees bruised and I got my forehead. You're an alcoholic. Okay. Finally, Gary's wife has shown up. I know. Everyone, it's going to be like, so I met your mom. Everyone thinks it's somebody. And then at one point, just someone shows up out of the blue. And that's this lady.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And so I was like, wait a minute, which one is that? Ow, I just hit myself in the eye with a fork. Sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I got bent over having doggy sex in a silverware cart container. It's couscous salad, or as we call it, puss puss, because we all love Putin so much. The oligarchs call it puss puss salad.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
You will not get me to talk. Listen, my eyelids have been taped open for nine days. I said nothing. You think you're going to get me, Karen lady? And she's like, but is it going to kill my friend? I mean, I see that it's a couscous salad, but are we going to die? And she's like, well, the chef will come. So she's like, he told me one with black hair. There are three with black hair.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
How am I supposed to know, bro? Like, who the fuck is Karen? They all look like a Karen to me.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Yeah. And he's like, well, look, Karen's the one who can't have tomatoes and Diane doesn't eat raw fruits or vegetables, which is crazy. Who doesn't eat raw fruits or vegetables? That's great. Is that an allergy? That one just sounds made up.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
yeah and um so then ml ml's like um i just don't want to be sitting here and let's not be able to eat you know like i don't want an epi pen situation so maybe next time you can come tell us everything that's going to be coming up first so that way we're not like because i mean this really killed my couscous experience is it just me is anybody else want to know first she's one of those he's like yeah
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
It's not just you, Mary Louise. Okay.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
He's like, wait, what are you talking about? I've been completely honest with you. So let me go talk to the guests and we'll talk later tonight. This is bullshit. This bullshit is fucking unbelievable.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Well, it's frustrating because I can't be everywhere all at once. And I wish Deanna had communicated earlier that she was struggling. I'm here to help. I mean, can we just get this right one time? God damn it. So then we get to the Danny and Chase talk. Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum. My heart is beating. So Danny's like, Nick, can we actually chat on the bat? And he's like, really can't.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I mean, what do you want? What do you want? She's like, I want to talk about Alicia. Dun, dun, dun.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Yeah, Danny, you got dumped already. You know what I mean? Like you need to move on. Like, wait a minute. Your reason for dumping me couldn't have been correct. So I'd rather you just say it's me. What do you want the guy to say? I was just using you and now I'm leaving. Goodbye. No, he has a right to lie about an excuse. I think I'm back on his side on that one. You've been dumped.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
So how are you feeling? What are you thinking about everything?
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Have some self-respect and walk away.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And he's not really getting it. But then Daisy's radioing and she's like, all right, I need interior to set up dinner. And she's like, am I just part of some like weird game? I mean, is it like I'll only travel for certain people, but not Denny? I mean, is it the game we're playing?
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Well, he's she's trying to be like, oh, you'll travel for her. She'll travel for me. Then he broke up with you. He doesn't want to be with you. That's his excuse for not being with you, Danny. You're embarrassing.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
so he's like well you live in australia and she goes but i've told you i only make my own money in australia i don't live anywhere i could live anywhere so we might as well just move in and have babies right now and he's like but then where are you going after you leave here and she's like i don't know i'm figuring it out well that's the thing i just can't be with someone who's trying to figure things out just say i'm not into it i'm sorry and walk away this is crazy also wait till the last episode not the ultimate episode
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
She's like, oh, that's fine. I'm like, Jeremy's lying. She goes, but I don't have a house I'll pay my mortgage on. I don't have a dog. I don't have fuck all. Like, oh, that's sad, but you're trying to make yourself more dateable. Yeah, I know. Nothing that loves me. I'm totally open for you. He's like.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Yeah. Done, done, done. So that's that. Next week, I don't know, possibly somebody gets mad about gluten. My favorite thing. My favorite fight, the gluten fight. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being with us. Go grab tickets for the Golden Crappies and all of our live shows. San Francisco, San Diego, Salt Lake City, and Denver coming up in the next couple of weeks.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And your live streaming tickets for the Golden Crappies. We're going to go off and record traders now for the Patreon bonus episode. We'll talk to you next time, everybody. Bye. Bye. Bye.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Know your worth with Jason Kerr.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Kristen the Piston Anderson.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Yes, we can-a, it's Sedana.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda Vee.
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The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
uh okay let's get into below deck sailing yacht season five episode five fifteen how many episodes are there of this my god and i'm not sick of it actually i'm actually still enjoying it but doesn't that mean next week should be the season finale i mean come on it is they said next week is the season finale yeah oh party um okay
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
That's correct. So here we are. So Gary and Daisy and other people are getting in trouble because they went out with the guests and they were only supposed to have two drinks. But those drag queens dragged them down into alcoholism.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
and so you know poor gary was totally fine before this but he got drunk that one time so he's in trouble so glenn's yelling at them at one night yelling he's yelling at them in canadian which is guys i don't like that and um gary's like but the dress the guests made me do it and he's like gary no don't don't get it confused you were not forced to drink gary okay you knew the rules you broke the rules and now you're mad okay
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I could have said don't have any drinks, but did I say that? No, because I do have some realism attached to my personality still, but still.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
which is nothing. You should have taken her damn money. And I love that he's like, now listen here, I'm going to be strict. I set a rule and I'm going to follow. Okay. I'll only take 500 out of your tip. No, that's not what you do.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And he's all mad, you know, storming out of there. He's like, let's go.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
um i love that chase got to sit see you get dressed down a little bit you know i don't even like jess but it was fun yeah that he got that i'm happy for chase you know you don't have to like people to be happy for them in that moment i mean i don't hate chase i don't know i don't like him i only like him because he has that gigantic wiener they keep showing otherwise i'd hate him that's so shallow
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
So then the crew gets to cleaning and Chase is, you know, pissy. So Danny asked him what's wrong. And he's like, well, we had a two drink minimum and some people just couldn't listen. Basically, everybody with me. And now he's taking 500 euro from each of their trip. Golly. You know, honestly, it is kind of fucked up. It is not fucked up. He should have taken all of it.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Um, so, um, now she's even more mad cause they got to drink too. They've got to severely party. So he's like, I'm just so turned on right now. Cause you're just so, you know, upset or whatever. Which is all you really need to say to Danny at any time. That's really the only price he's going for.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Like I drink two drinks in 20 minutes. Usually I'm fine.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
She's like, well, you know, I did fuck up, but both me and Keith are being dragged under the bus because of Gary. And she's got a point. Like, she fucked up, but she can hold her liquor. They wouldn't have gotten in trouble if they came on like Daisy.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Yeah, so Chase is like, woohoo, let's go to the strip club. Okay, so now it's back to work. And Daisy's telling Keith, you don't have to pay the $500. I can cover it. I get paid a lot more than you.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And of course, Danny's still grumbling. Don't drink two more drinks. You can't do that. I mean, come on. The rest of us had to clean. Oh, for fuck's sake.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Quiet over there. So Daisy's like, oh, God, I'm so embarrassed. Everyone's going to get a real kick out of this one.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
And then, of course, we get her view, which is like, a boy picked me. I always dreamed of this day ever since I was a chubby little girl before I found out about gyms and cheerleading. So she likes him, too. Now, we know that the Below Deck season is ending, which means someone's got to get tapped or they have to commit to seeing each other after because that's how it happens.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Like, there's only one or two ways that you can do this. And so they're leading us to believe that these two are going to last forever.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
Gary's like, no, you need to listen to what I'm saying.
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#2697 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E15: The Gary Stink
bigger mad you know he's mad that chase got that girl he's mad that chase didn't have a drink and he's mad that chase got watched him get in trouble this morning and now chase won't even listen to him it's crazy and so so gary just tattles and you know what honestly i support this tattle i think this is like a good use of tattling because chase honestly doesn't listen to gary and it's been an
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
She's at the foot of the bed. She gets on her knees at the foot of the bed. She untucks the comforter and then she puts it over her head and slides up halfway into the bed and then slides her head back out the bed and goes, look, I found a hair. How many hairs do you think are in there now? You just left 10 more hairs at least, at the very least 10 hairs.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
He was like, dude, a Pyrrhic victory is when you put an apple against a pear and a pear wins because it's got some fuzz on its belly.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
the ottoman also lost the war of the couch because the couch always gets it back and the ottoman doesn't the ottoman is just kind of there it's like optional couches win this is sorry ottomans sorry for your empire ottoman ottoman i mean it's funny to think that our little sweet ottomans next to our sofas had an empire at one point they did and now they're like god damn it you guys remember the time where we were actual beings and we weren't just things that people put their feet on
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Sofas were our sidekicks. That doesn't even make sense. God, no one cares if I get a stain.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
If King Pyrus knew that one day this is what he'd be reduced to. Below Deck recap.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah, so come check that out. So let's hit up some Below Deck Down Under Season 3, Episode 7, Declaration of Love. Hmm.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So Sabrina is talking about making toasties for crew lunch and Alicia's like, is there a toasty machine? Excuse me, you lazy ass. Apparently there is a toasty machine. What is a toasty machine? A toaster?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
That's how I make my bagel sandwiches. You just put it right into a skillet.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah, you put some butter on there, though, the way I do it. And then you, like, cook the shit out of those bagels until they're nice and brown and toasty and buttery. Okay, so there's the toasty machine. So now it's four hours till charter, and Vian and Adair are washing the deck. And Vian's like, oh, I think I should share something with you.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And she's like, up here, of course, light, bud light, whatever it is, I'm down.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Then I got back on Tinder and I met a Rob Bob.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Try to date a Billy Bob after you dated a Bob Rob and a Bill Bob.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
so he's like actually there was between me and marina and serena and she's like oh and you oh and he's like but i told them it's not going to work and she's like so what do you just feel bad like what's the story i've got i'm crabbing in the mud like what do you want and he's like no it's the other part of the story so she asked me is there anyone that you into and i said yes but unfortunately we are working together and she's like
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Oh, that sweet Harry's gonna love that!
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
I mean, look, we are a great team and everything, but he's not really my type of guy. Okay. I want my guy to have a Southern accent, a big lifted truck. I mean, you know, at our wedding, I want him to sing. I hope you don't.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
what's it got on his what's it got on his iphone music you know i need something like with trucks in it wanted to be about trucks or jesus it was bullshit what do you even listen to he drives a cooper she's so disinterested in him this is like so funny she goes you think You think when he's going to pull up, he's going to roll down the window in his lifted King Ranch? No, he drives a Mini Cooper.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah, I remember when I had that little pig Spanky and I had to take him to that farm. They had a tortoise that was as big as a backyard. I was like, holy crap, it looks like a spaceship.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
I think the best thing about tortoises is like you go see them when you need to feel young, you know, because like as you get older, especially somewhere like L.A., there's like fewer and fewer aging people because, you know. They move. But, you know, you just see young people everywhere. And then it's nice. You know, you can go see a turtle and be like, gosh, you're 200 years old. Fuck yeah.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Do something. Then we go to Serena and Alicia, who is the new sous chef. And they're very excited for their first day. And then Johnny comes in all creepily. I mean, I know he thinks he's romantic. He doesn't come off as romantic. He really does come off as a salty. And I need him to back down a little bit. He's like, hello. It was so nice dancing with you yesterday.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
We're going to get to see him in a minute. So they also want to tour with a picnic on the iconic.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
and then they're gonna they're gonna go on the tinder and then they're gonna go to coconut grove for a picnic i mean this is amazing guys and then the picnic can go set up when the guests are away and then maybe we can send a crew with the bikes so that we're on radio contact and you know everything needs to be coordinated because this is a whole day of traveling around and it's going to require a lot of coordination okay and vian's just kind of staring out in the space he's like what rhymes with love love
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Unfortunately, the trip to Ledeck is being planned by a man who can only think with Ledeck. So, good luck. Good luck to him. Shake sail Ledeck. Three hours until charter. So, Adair is, like, talking to Johnny. And he's like, is your chest okay? You keep holding it. He's like, I've been shot. And she's like, well, how about this? You ever been to a waffle house? It's like, no. And she goes, what?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
You would love a waffle house. You eat waffles and wait for somebody to fight. It's amazing.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And this definitely goes to show, you know, everybody's saying, like, don't give a man too much attention because they're not interested in that. You have to pretend you don't like him. I mean, in this case, she really doesn't like him. But look how well it works. Like, he's got people who like him all over the place. And he's like, nope, nope, nope, nope. They like me too much.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And then the one that doesn't like him, he's like, oh, my God, I have to marry her. I can't stop thinking about her.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And she's like, yeah, it was good fun. Yeah, yeah. I hope I didn't make you feel awkward or anything. Do you feel better now that my hand is on your boob? How does that feel?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So now everyone's noticing Vihan's not there and they're doing provisions and stuff. And Laura's lifting all these heavy boxes. And Johnny's like, don't lift. There's so many men here. Why would you lift? And she's like, but where? I do not see one. If you could show me one, that would be nice because, you know, Vihan's off writing letters. God knows where all these guys are. So she just does it.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And they're talking about air conditioning. And Vian's like... She's like, Vian, could you maybe do this? Because I'm doing these back and forth. So maybe could you carry some stuff? And he's like, but we have to carry it all the way down. So he picks the down slope.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Well, now she's getting worse. Like, she's putting metallic booty shorts, like these skin-tight little short shorts for the guys. I mean, look, every time it's getting to be, like, they're going to start getting pissed soon. I mean, Vian does get pissed, but not really because of this. He's pissed at her for personal reasons. But I ain't doing that. Fuck you.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
I'm not wearing fucking booty shorts every night without shirts. I'm not even paid to do this job. This is your job. Why are you putting me in a costume job to pass plates? That's your job, ma'am.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah, and she was like, oh, I'm pissed. You know, compliments will go so far when you don't see the light of day for three days. It's not fair. Well, don't worry. You just left a whole head of hair in a bed. So maybe you'll get moved off that job.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So he's like, he asks how Lara's doing. And she's like, oh, my God, I'm kind of hot, but fine. He's like, is it as hot outside as I am on the inside? And she's like, oh, my God, if you need a fan, go to the galley. All right? They're all down there.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
letter a letter is third base you can't do that you haven't even met her parents yet he's like but read it bro because it's got a lot of depth oh poor vian it does not have a lot of depth vian poor sad go go vian so zarina is like Oh, Jesus is so hot. Can someone turn the temperature down? My tits are sweating.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So now the guests arrive and we learn a little bit about Caroline from her bio that pops up. She's from La Jolla. She's a trial attorney, a philanthropist. She has her own parking spot at her favorite winery, Napa. So she's also a drinker and a driver.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
All right, I need to crack on with the platters. Maybe we should do like a little hummus plate or something. So Alicia starts making that. And meanwhile, Adair's doing the tender and people are doing the dark. And now they're en route to La Dick. Damn right we are.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Well, she doesn't really feel like it was too awkward. She's like, whatever. You know, she's like, okay. I think she actually likes him. Yeah, she seems to like him. And he's like, I know it was too much, especially for your first day. So day two, impregnation.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So Alicia has agreed to make Thai food for the crew lunch. Surely this is going to work out great. And Serena and her talk about how great they are at working together and stuff. And Serena's like, you know, Alicia's amazing. Normally I like to sit on a counter and really ask the person, what do you do? What's your favorite color? Where have you gone to school? Do you know what chiffonade means?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Do you like French bulldogs or chihuahuas? What's your favourite kind of knife? Pairing or chefs? You know, sort of stuff like that. But I learned with the last one that that makes people run away. So I've just decided to hand a crew food to see if anybody dies.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Um, so the ladies are being wacky. They're like cracking up. They're like, how do I open this door to go to the outside? What is not open? Honey, you need to press the button. I pressed the button. Oh my God, it opened. Oh my God, it's closing again. Try and open it with my butt. Oh, I wouldn't open. I'm falling.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
That's what happens.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So Laura checks in with Bree. She's like, what's going on with Harry? She's like, I don't know. We've been out on a date. I told him my parents owned an ice cream shop and then nothing. It's just like, hi, bye. How was your night? I mean, what is that? She goes, oh, so he needs to get into gear then. Yeah, I mean, I think it's fizzling. What if it's fizzling?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
I think it's fizzling, yeah, but we haven't talked about it. If a fizzle fizzles in a forest, but there's no one around to hear it fizzle, are you even drinking a Diet Coke?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So basically what's happening to you is what's happened with Harry and every woman since he's ever been born. You're bored. She's like, maybe.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And Harry's like, he likes her accent. I mean, she's got no inside voice. And she's like, hey, back around here, swing that truck over the load.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Oh, my God. You've got the most romantic voice I've ever heard in my life.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Just wanted to make sure that the rest of the guys weren't fuckwits. And they are. So full steam ahead.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Oh, so then Laura's like, well, you know, I didn't really want to get the boys in the underwear. So why don't we put some palm leaves on the front and the back? How about that, Bree? Do that. And she's like, oh, my God, they're going to love this. So Laura's like, well, they requested Seychelles Island themed dinner. So, you know, does Silver Hot Pants scream Seychelles? Not really.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
But the women are going to love it. I get to demean Harry again.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
for proof when she needs it when they accuse her of like not pulling her own weight for some reason so serena shows the captain she's like oh forgot to tell you've got some videos about the boys sitting around and he's just like they love a chat the old dick what are you gonna do So he doesn't really care. So then, you know, he probably cares more that they're tattletaling, honestly.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So then Lara's like, you know, Vianne, can we get someone to set up for dinner? And he's like, no. And she's like, why? He's like, because Harry's down and I need a dare for water toys. And part of our love story. I can't let to get out of my sight.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah, and he's like, but then if we're going to walk off deck and start giving you a hand in the interior, then they're going to start taking the piss out of that. She's like, well, and he says, well, you know, this is honestly, this is very great for me. This is a very great area. And she's like, um, okay, well, I don't even get to send my girls to eat.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And he's like, but what else is there for me to do? And she's like, give them a kick up the ass and have them do more. And he's like, okay, he's like doing that kind of stupid blink, but he's starting to simmer. Yeah, and this happens on every season of Below Deck. Or I guess starting to boil. Summer's when you calm down, right? So you're starting to boil.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So then Serena and Lara are planning the lunch thing and Vian is saying, you know, he's talking to the guy or he's talking to the crew, his deck crew. And he's like, you know, with the interior, I feel like we're helping them a lot. But obviously they see a difference. So I don't get it. But my advice would be to just don't stand around and make it look like you're not doing anything.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So just walk in circles. No leaning. If you've got time to lean, you've got time to pretend that you're not leaning. So Lara doesn't ask you to do shit because it's not our job.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah. He's not saying help out more. He's saying pretend you're busy so you don't have to help.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Even his view of love is so violent.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So then, let's see. So now Johnny is really hungry, right? And so Laura's like, okay, well, once Adair's had dinner, then she can move up to cabins. So Laura's like, well, we're going to serve the first court in a Hawaiian shirt. The second course, you'll have the shirt open. The third course, you're wearing this. And we're serving a fourth course, which is just your balls on a plate.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
I just like all of the testicles on one giant plate.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Jesus. Calm down, sir. So Jason is announcing that the jet ski replacement has just arrived. Thankfully, it's wearing a kimono by Captain's Lounge. Please pick that up. It's a beautiful accessory for your jet ski. So Ray and Marina are doing some rooms and the vet crew's doing jet skis. And now Serena is announcing it's time to do the fridge and freezer.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap Ends, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Broves. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Good. Excited because we are still on the road this weekend. We are going to be in Charlotte doing Southern Charm season finale.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Did you ever see that video of cats tasting things for the first time? Don't be like, no, I wish we let a cat taste ice cream. And the cat's like, That's how Johnny was. Their face just freezes with their mouth open. Like they're petrified. Their taste buds don't know what to do. It was so fucking funny. And he's like, I'm crying over here. And Harry's like, I'll try it. Oh, my God.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
God, it's really hot. Jeez. And Johnny's like, I'm hungry. I don't care. I'll eat it.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And Harry's just like, oh, he's going to eat it because he's in love. So it's like the curry warms up my whole insides. It almost came out of my eyes. Keep on eating.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
fillets or whatever she really kills it right yeah she does great with fish and soups loves a soup so they've climbed 707 stairs today we see on the screen And so Marina's showing Adair how to clean and stuff. And then Lara presents the snapper with mango salad. Bon appetit. And then the guys come out in their shirts. They're buttoned. It's crazy. First course.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So then Alicia is asking to clean stuff. So they're doing great in the galley because Alicia's like, please, let me clean things. So Serena's in love. And then Alicia's like, you know, it's a lot of work and it's a lot of adjustment. But, you know, God, Serena's a good boss to have.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
You know, it's really nice to be around a woman who doesn't look exactly like me in Excel in every single goddamn way. So that's nice.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah, you know, I just want someone to tell me, bring me a damn beer. You know, sometimes that's just all you want in life. And she's like, I was fucking joking there. That is so sad. But that's what I like.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So now the next course is served and the shirts are open. And the guys are like, wait a minute, now their shirt's open. Woo-hoo!
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And Vian's like, don't worry, there's one more dish to go. Don't spoil it. Jesus. This is a progressive surprise dinner. Don't tell them what's coming.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So right now Vian's totally fine with getting into the booty shorts, which they're currently, which they're doing right now. And he's like, get the shirts off, boys, boys. You know what? Let's do it for the tip. Because when you earn 2,500 euros, you're not going to fucking care about wearing this shit. So just put it on. So he does. And he comes into the kitchen.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Just going through like moldy veg, basically. And so they do that.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And Serena's like, whoa, hold on a second. Please, nobody stare at my eyes. Oh, man.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
yeah and vian is not liking that so he's like look i don't like this because my butt cheeks are hanging out let's like let's just get it over with she's like you just did a strip tease the other day you rubbed your whole tank on a woman's face i think you'll be fine and he's like well but i wasn't so naked i had underwear on okay your underwear that were the same size as this and she's like i thought you were a world-class stripper no one said world-class they said beefcakes yeah he was it's not world-class
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
He's like, well, I can do it when my booty shorts fit me right.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Because, listen, I mean, I've never had a job where I haven't been asked to put on like really skin tight booty shorts and that's it. You know, so I know what it's like. Like you really need to get the right ones. And I think if you had started this by saying, listen, you've had us naked every dinner and it's starting to feel creepy. Like, can we just not be naked anymore?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Like if you had started that, I think that everybody has the right to be like, girl, I'm not getting in booty shorts for every single dinner. I think everybody has that right. But the fact that he was all gung ho and like, let's do it for the tip. And now he's mad that he's getting bossed around. And now he's using it like, how dare you treat me like this? It's like, OK, no one's buying it, buddy.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
it's like well you can't play the card like we're equals you can't boss me around then why are you saying that you had to listen you could have just said no i'm not gonna do it yeah and harry's like well what's the difference between that and speeders i really don't get it and you're like well i feel uncomfortable with my butt cheeks all hanging out you know the whole thing is going up my butt crack i mean it was too far it was too far and here's like okay
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
He's like, he put them on, he looked at himself in the mirror and he was like, yep, I'm going to wear them. And he served them. And so obviously this is about something else.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
He's like, this is the parka of swimwear.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah, and meanwhile, Zarina puts the shorts over her clothes. She's like, it's not that tight. Do I look as hot to you now as you look to me in these things? Come on. He's like, oh God. So Harry's just like, I don't think it was her intention to hurt you. And he's like, I need to leave.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
He's getting mad that no one will be on his side because he's trying to do this like, I'm a victim of harassment. And they're like, okay, sir.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah, and again, because I know that people are going to be like, well, if the roles were reversed, if the roles were reversed, I would say, no, you can't have the ladies coming out here serving the bikinis every meal. That's creepy. And the guys would be a lot creepier about it. The guy guests would be a lot creepier about it.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And also, like I said earlier, if he had said earlier, like, I'm not comfortable with this, I don't like it, and she made him, then that would be different. But the fact that he okayed it, went through with it, and now is like, what? This is just unfairness. I don't think it's...
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So then we get a romance scene with Harry and Brie. So he's like, all right, here we go. Brie, how was your day? How was it? She's like, good. He's like, first day of charter? She goes, yeah, they're nice. And he's like, is that so? Yeah, really nice. All right, bye. She's like, oh, my God, what does it mean?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So now Vion wants to slip the letter to Adair, but he doesn't want to put it on the bed because then Marie will see it and then she'll pick it up. And Harry's like, I think if you write it to Adair, she won't pick it up. And he's like, oh, I just need it in the right hands. Because I've had a thing with Marina, you know? Like, do I write my name with, like, love?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And it's like, no, please don't write love. Please, please. You've got at least three years of courtship before you do that.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And Vian's all nervous. He's like, oh my God, I just don't want Marina to throw it away. God, that was an epic opus I wrote. It was just so much thought and so much time, so many words. You know, it was very hard to write. I've just had butterflies in my stomach.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Did he ask me to bring him a beer? I don't want to read it. She's like, well, it's three pages. It's very Ross from Friends. I don't know what that is. What the hell? I don't know. Reference it to Grace Under Fire or something.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
I like that this young girl would be referencing reruns of Grace Under Fire. Can you mention Brett Butler? You got any original flavor, Roseanne? Reference that. I don't like long letters. The longest thing I like to read is the license plate.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Now Adair reads her letter and it is so fucking funny because he reads it. They put him in like a little bubble of him reading the whole letter. You know, he's like, Adair, I know we are working together and spending a lot of time together and I want to keep it professional at all times, but I won't lie in saying. I don't have no feelings for you. It's like, oh my God, don't write.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Now, he might be just trying to talk like someone that she can understand. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't have no feelings for you. I just want a man to look me in the eye and say, listen, I don't got no feelings for you.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
It's go, go boy English. Nobody knows, you know? So he's like, there's still so much I would like to know about you. I feel like we have only touched the surface of what lies underneath. I hope I get the opportunity to not explore those unshallows that are maybe depths, but not too shadows with you.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
She was kind of looking at it like, Jesus Christ, this is longer than the Bible. And Marina's like, girl, you better spill the tea. She's like, well, I think it says something like your energy is bright in a room and something like that. I mean, I guess that's what he said. She's like, it's sweet.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
I mean, it's basically like going on to the dark web. Not that I've ever done it, but I mean, I've done things like this. Don't tell anybody. I don't want anyone to find out, but I've done things like say, how's your morning? She's like...
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
yeah i just um you know you have to be careful because otherwise a girl can just kind of float off and you know the thing is this she's like a mortal so don't really fuck this up so make a move she's like yeah oh my god she's like i don't think she knows that you like her so it's like i'm so shocked right now i can't believe what laura's saying i mean last charter season i moved too quickly with margot and now i'm being told to move too slowly well the difference is you were moving quickly with someone who didn't really like you like
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
That girl just wanted you in the friend zone. This girl does like you, so you can move quicker. Yes, exactly. Yeah. You can move more, not slowly.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
he's not into her. So, and he's like, well, she knows where she's standing with me. And Laura's like, don't mess with my girls. But yeah, I mean, I think Serena knows, right? Serena doesn't seem to be, you know, thinking they're married.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah. So now it's Laura, Serena, and Vian. And they're like, okay, well, what's the plans for the thing? And he's like, I mean, you see it there. They're going on a bike ride. And they're like, um... So do you have a plan? He's like, yeah, people will be with them on bikes, probably Marina and Adair. And she's like, but I'm going to do the picnic.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And he's like, OK, so Adair riding then and Johnny on the beach and then Chef, you, me. I mean, who cares? You know, beach, bike, duh, there's radios. People can just communicate. And she's like, Adair's like, but will the radio work? And he's like, yeah, probably. Yeah.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Let's just say 12 of Sunday. And she's like, okay. And so Lara's like, I mean, what's going on in his head? This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for the guests. I mean, what are they going to do? You need to make sure that the sandwiches are fresh when they get back from the tortoises.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So now it's the picnic time. So Laura's sending some people to set. She's telling Serena to set up with Johnny and she'll go with the guests and do the bike ride with the dare in them. And so Jason's radioing to get it's getting swelly. So they're going to have to go in a taxi. Okay, so they all start going over there. And, well, first breakfast is served.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And Serena's like, um, so first one you're going to be making this is smoked salmon. Well, basically, she's just cooking with Alicia, right? So they cook.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
I was just about to talk about making finger sandwiches. Oh. Don't worry.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah, you got to sit there and marinate in your assholes being turned into rings of fire. So... exactly load up the tender and get stuff across so they're packing and Vian's like oh my god you guys are so on top of it I don't even have to give you direction so I'm not going to I'm tired I was like, geez.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah. This guy's the worst. So now one of the guests is like, wish you were coming, Captain. He's like, someone's got to look after the ship, don't they? I'm working on some kimono designs. I'm thinking this time they'll open the front and have like a silk belt or something like that. You go ahead.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So now Harry has to help with rooms and then the water taxi is loaded up. And so everybody heads over there. So Vion decides that he has time because he's backed out of doing anything. So he's going to make a romantic thing for Adair. Well, he's not going to make it. He's going to make somebody else make it. So he's like, you know what goes like cheese plates.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
but he did establish a boundary which is unlike I think a lot of these fuckboys do the thing where they're like well I'm not sure and I'm not sure I want a relationship and that's their boundary where they're like they're kind of trying to have their cake and eat it too which is our saying for the week lovely saying in case anybody wants to really argue what it means deeply but yeah I think he wants to have it both you know most guys want to have it both ways on these shows where they're like
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So I'm going to make a cheese platter for Adair. And Harry's like, okay. And he goes, and then I'm going to give her a hug and I'm going to whisper in her ear. Would you like to go on a date with me? I don't care if you're farting due to the dairy. I would love you anyway. And Harry's like, Wait, you have to do that? Right in my ear? Like, do you want to go on a date with me? I wouldn't do that.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
It's very close. Ear work is like year four.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And so Harry's like, so what do you want me to do while you take a shower? And he's like, I don't care. He's like, I guess I'll show me some stainless or something. So he's taking all this time and squandering it instead of like getting out of work and stuff. So then Vion goes to Alicia in the kitchen and he's like, so Alicia, are you good at making cheese boards?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And she's like, um, I mean, is this for you? And he goes, yeah. No. And she says, is it for the guests? And he's like, it's for a date. And she goes, oh, did you ask Adair out? And he's like, no, not yet, but I will. She goes, well, I mean, do you think she'll say yes? I mean, was she not slightly put off by the fact that you've gone through half the crew?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
He's like, no, I haven't. He gets really defensive. He's like, no, I haven't. She goes, oh, so it's just a rumor then. He's like, I'm not into any of them though. She goes, yeah, you should make your own cheese board. And he's like, oh, whatever. And he's like, no respect. And he like storms off. Why the fuck should she stop? She's actually working. You're doing nothing. She's working.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And you've got Harry also doing nothing. Make Harry cut a fucking cheese board. And I love her now because she's like, get the knife out. I'll show you where the cheese is. But I'm busy. I mean, who the fuck is this guy? I know.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
You fucking weirdo. So, uh, and it's not romantic when you're like, oh, guess what? I had some underling make you a cheese plate. Go fucking order a cheese plate. Then you're docked.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So I don't know whose fault this is because don't they pick the beach picnic? Wouldn't that be kind of an interior thing? Is that a deck thing to pitch?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
I'm just not sure I'm ready for a relationship, but we can see where this goes. Where he was like, no, I like that other girl. You know, I like Forrest Gump. And then, you know, I think that was a little clearer, at least. I don't know why I'm standing up for Vian.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So they start setting up and now Vian's still going off to himself. But he's like, you stupid fucking person. Which I was proud of him for at least not saying bitch because I was prepared. I was prepared. And he's like, I'm fucking pissed. I'm pissed off about this. Oh, well, you're not pissed enough to pick up a knife and start cutting some cheese. And let me tell you something else.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
I don't think any girl wants just a cheese plate to herself. It's weird.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah. Who's like, here's a cheese plate. Now hug me and let me whisper in your ear. I'm in love with you.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And I'm not even saying that as, like... She wants to play some cornhole, and she wants to, like, you know, watch some NASCAR shit and, like, go get wings. Okay?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So they pet the tortoise and stuff. He's 114. So everybody loves him.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
So now the bike ride is taking forever. And so Lara is trying to radio Serena, but of course the radios don't work. Even after Vian assured them that of course they're going to work. So she's stuck on the beach trying to make the food and get it ready. Now there's flies all over everything because she's ready for them to arrive and they're not arriving.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Nobody's getting radios and everything's melting and it's becoming a disaster. And now it's 1223, 71 minutes since arriving to the beach. And she's like, Well, I was excited when I was setting up, but now I'm getting a little bit worried, you know. It's not your food flies, all right?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Love it. Well, that's good. Well, that brings us to the end of Below Deck Down. And everybody, thanks so much for being with us. Grab tickets for the live tour. We'll see you this week in Charlotte and Atlanta. And then the following weeks, a ton of other places. So go to WatchWhatCrappens.com for ticket links. And thanks for everybody who's watching this on Patreon right now. We love you guys.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
We'll talk to you later. Bye.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Then we're going to be in Atlanta doing a classic episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. Ben, what is it again? Oh, geez. Oh, geez.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Well, I guess my thing is Vian's like such a douchebag and such a sad worker for the rest of this. Like there's so many other reasons to be mad at him. But I think for this show, he was at least pretty clear. Whereas most guys I think would just lead all three on. Whereas he was at least like, no, I like this one.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And now I'm going to write her letters on the little free notebook you get on your Marriott nightstand. Yeah.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Also, Serena's just getting on my nerves because he said no. Get some self-respect, Serena. I love Serena, so I don't like watching Serena be like,
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
oh but let's see if i can still try it stop it just stop it uh so uh now we go back to the galley and uh she's talking to alicia and she's like so have you done some cooking she's like well i don't want to disappoint you you know i've got a passion for it but i'm not really a chef just hand me a chili and something green let's get going shall we i know it's like
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And then following that, we are going to be in Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, and Las Vegas. You can get links for tickets and our schedule over at watchwhatcrappens.com, as well as a link to our Patreon, which is where you find the videos, like we're doing right now. Hi. Hi. and you can also find our bonus episodes.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
uh well you know some of us just watch you know food network okay still learn to cook watch a couple of youtubes you can learn can you learn to cook on the food network these days can you see her in commentary from ben mandelker anyway uh she's going to compete against guy fietti and learn how to chase a can down a grocery aisle or whatever the he's doing these days mix like bubble gum and duck confit together
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
yeah in a box her other big story is the other thing i'm one of four sisters and i have a twin sister and she plays such a pivotal role in my life i'm obsessed with her i want to be her that goddamn one day i'll be her so i've decided to cook and just try my own thing You know, because before all I would really do is put pictures of my twin sister, which were basically me.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
But then I'd put pins through their head every day. And I started to get a headache. And I said, God damn it, Karma. Can you pay attention? We're twins. Nobody could tell us apart in case unless it came to our report cards or boys that wanted to date us or cars that our parents bought us.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And she's like, you know, now she's got her own life. She's out in Australia, which is wonderful. And now it's time to grow up and learn how to make things that have a taste that hides the poisoning that I'm going to feed her one day on a goddamn wedding night. It's great. It's going great.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
They're like, what's your name? Ashley. I'm sorry. I thought your name was Alicia. No, I'm Ashley. I'm very happy. I have a boyfriend. Please let me embezzle your money. She's just going to do one of those shows where she turns into the twin.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah. I mean, how can you call them dull? One of them had a husband who fucked the mother. Right?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah, they were exciting. They're exciting twins. So, Harry and Johnny are talking about the new girl because Harry's so, you know, thirsty for the tea. He's like, so, you and the new girl tell me the tea. Won't tell anybody except Brianna and all the girls in cleaning, of course. What's going on? He's like, I like her. Ow, my heart. I've been shot.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
death by cupid and he's like well you know don't remember there's no rush is there my recommendation give her a kiss and then give her a second kiss two weeks later and he's like got it so then marina is asking brie about her and harry and she's like well i think we're both kind of shy and it's kind of tough i mean where are the conversations this morning he passed by me and kissed me on the ear and he still hasn't talked to me about it what did it mean
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
We did full traders recaps, and now we are doing some airport snaps, which is where we judge the fuck out of people in an airport. That's super fun. We just did one in Cincinnati that was really good. So go check those out, and thanks for being here, everybody. Today is below... Oh, did you find it?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
know she's just in an existential spiral because of harry which is amazing just quietly on the side of the show it just always cuts her being like huh i'm having some trouble opening up the peanut butter does this mean something about me and harry what does it mean and she's like you know i was hoping to see where harry's head's at but oh my gosh it's just i'm just gonna get tired of this questioning game i mean this morning he said how's your morning what am i supposed to do with that
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
Yeah, and he's like, too many? What did I kiss? There's six girls on this boat. Oh, and you're going to get through all of them, I'm sure. And he's like, well, are you going to apologise to me, Laura? And she's like, no. What would I apologise to you, you slut? Wipe your face. Why is it always oily? Yeah. How is your face oily every single time I see you?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
And that's one of the things I wonder about him because, you know, I'm a big fan of argan oil. That's what I put on my skin. So I have an oily tint to me as well. Not tint, but sheen. I have like an oily sheen. I never think of an oily sheen. Really? Well, sometimes I'll show up like fresh out of the shower and I'll be a little sheeny.
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
But it's because I love an argan oil, you know, but I don't know what his deal is because he's all. Have you noticed he's always shiny?
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#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet
That's like- Can we talk about how she did it? I don't really understand Marina's process here. I know everybody's like, oh my God, Marina, you're amazing in housekeeping. If I saw this in housekeeping, I would decapitate her. Okay, this is what she did. Whoa. Sorry. It's an extreme day. Okay. I locked myself out of the house. It's been a rough morning. So here's how she did it.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
But yeah, I think she'd be perfect for it. That show needs all the help it can get. And she needs to go away from Summer House. She's too good for Summer House now. She's like top shelf Summer House. And Summer House is going lower and lower. So I say get her off of there and take her to Housewives of New York. Yeah.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Yeah, Whitney's an elderly fella these days.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Well, some things I can understand being like, wow, Erin, because you don't know how old she is because she acts weird. I mean, I don't know. But Whitney? I mean, Whitney, I've never looked at Whitney and been like, wow, what a youthful chap. I wonder who's younger than, you know? If you told me Whitney was as old as like Chita Rivera, I'd be like, OK, like I would believe. I mean, I don't know.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
They wouldn't shut the fuck up. And because we were coming from Toronto, they have to do everything in English, and then you hear it in French, too. Okay? Oh, my God.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
He's like a generation above Mauricio. Charlotte says, Whitney looks older than Patricia. Agreed. Patricia knows how to wand and do all that shit. Patricia told me the first time she met me, she said, you should do Botox. I said, I do Botox. And she says...
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
you couldn't tell it's like okay you know so i'm surprised that whitney has been able to age like that with a mother who's constantly like uh have you tried a red light therapy i mean do something jesus christ whitney it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
And they wake you up, too. They make you listen. And the lady made me take out my headphones to listen to her spiel about the seatbelts and shit. I'm like, lady, I've heard the spiel, okay? I get it. You need your attention. Here's your attention, okay? You're doing a great job, okay? And I understand about seatbelts. Now tell me in French.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
But you know what? I don't really think about age. I don't know why I'm obsessed. That's why. So I've stopped thinking about age. I don't care about anybody's age anymore. And also with all the fillers and the Botox and stuff, you just can't tell because people like Lexi from Summer House, she's so young, but she gets all the lip and the tox and all that stuff.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
And so, I don't know, if you told me she was 40, I'd believe it. And I don't mean that in a mean way, like she looks bad, she looks great. But everybody kind of gets that same like plumpy, you know, look so that you can't tell how old I am. Listen, I've watched too much Housewives to start worrying about age. I'm not worrying about it now, that's for sure.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Years. Am I right, guys? So some other stuff going on is Tamara Judge posted. Let me open this link. Open link URL. Okay. No, I copied link URL. God, you know what? When am I going to learn how to use the internet? Guys, anybody? Can anybody explain the internet? So Tamara had another tantrum, and she posted on Instagram a tantrum. Tantrum. A possum drum.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
And she posted an Instagram that was like, you know what?
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
And somebody wrote, oh my God, Tamara, are you quitting OC?
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
And of course, our speculation was she must have gotten into a fight with Gretchen and Gretchen won the fight. And then Tamara ran away barefoot screaming, you'll never see me again. Which is what she did when that swimsuit design lady came after her. And that is what happened. They were in New Orleans filming and she got in a fight with Gretchen and Gretchen won.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
And so Tamara ran away screaming and crying and quit. And I think she's already shooting the show again. I don't think she really quit. Tamara isn't quitting that show. She's got leaks to fix in her house in Big Bear.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Real Housewives of Orange County is the reason our podcast is so big. One of us needs to be on TV and we know it's not going to be me. Get your ass back to work. Get to it.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
in text so yeah that's then someone's asking if they're on southwest no they're not on southwest by the way southwest is dead to me with their new rules listen i put up with your bullshit a b and c group i paid for the little early bird special to get on the plane you're you're testing me southwest you're fucking with me i'm not porter airlines have new rules are going to charge you for luggage fuck you so i know it's not about southwest but just so just while i have the chance fuck you guys okay okay so anyway they're not on the trash airlines
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
But you know what's so weird is I didn't notice it was a raccoon, but I was watching the film Wild Robot on the plane, which was great. I cried. I laughed. Then I cried some more. Then I laughed some more. Then I cried some more. Then I was like, this isn't realistic. So that was great. And there was a raccoon in it. Wow. So Southwest is the point.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
They are on Delta, but I know why Heather's pissed. Cause these aren't like real first class seats. These are those ones where you pay for first class, but they're just like slightly bigger and you don't get shit. Yeah.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
It was actually the perfect amount of time, too, for that clip.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
We had to hear about that wifi longer than the wifi worked. The wifi worked for 20 minutes out of five hours. And they talked about it for four fucking hours.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
You don't even know what I had to deal with in New Orleans. I said, why are we starting this here? These are picnic tables. This isn't a classy restaurant. Why are we eating something called beignets? These are ben-boos. These are ben-boos. And I love that she's being so actor-y. She keeps drawing the person back in. I think she's trying.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
It looks like she's practicing a fight that she's going to have, doesn't it? It's like, listen, Tamara, you don't run away.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
this is your cue this is when you do that do it now no no that's not right what are you shaking your fist at me what are you at a protest what are you gonna burn your bra this is not a claw hand i could narrate this for two hours it's just so heather standing in the middle of the airport making a huge scene
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Poor people are trying to pass. That is funny. She pulls her out of the way. There's a man with a mop. Please do not stop him. All right.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
I love that people are so used to being filmed in public that even the guy who's pushing the cleaning cart is aware that he's being filmed. Watch him pass and look straight into the camera. Like, really? He's like, hey, guys, this shit's good, right?
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
All right. Great work. Great work, Heather. What else do we have? Okay, so some of the other big news with Tracy Tudor from Million Dollar Listing LA went on to, what'd she go on first? Jeff? I guess she went on Jeff first. I think she went on Jeff.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
I get it all confused in my head. There's just so many things I don't watch that she's been on. Just kidding, everybody. Okay, so she went on Jeff, and you know Jeff, messy-ass Jeff. He knows how to generate those headlines for everybody. He is great at this. Yeah, he is really good at getting himself in the middle of the conversation. I mean, I have the guy credit. He has a skill.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
He does, and it's mess. His skill is mess, pure mess. Yes. So she went on there, and she was talking about what a phony Dorit is, and basically Dorit is not paying her bills. Well, anybody who's been reading the real hard news of the day knows that Dorit and PK don't pay their bills. They don't have any money. Why is anybody working for these people? They're not going to fucking pay you, okay?
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
So she claims a member of Dorit's glam squad... was paid after she called her out for stiffing them on an episode of Jeff Lewis's messy-ass show called Mess Mess with Jeff Mess Lewis. After seeing the 48-year-old star had appeared on Watch What Happens Live, where she slammed Tracy's claims as attention-seeking and accused hairstylist Chris Dillon of overcharging her.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Oh, girl, you're learning from the Erica playbook here. That's what Erica did. She's like...
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Yes, and then she accused him of basically using her credit card and all this shit. She's accusing him of really shady shit, so... You know, he came out and said she's a liar. And then Tracy tweeted or Instagrammed, I don't know. Guess who got his wire transferred today, though? Tracy wrote in a comment to a clip shared of the Watch What Happens Live episode.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
After Tracy spoke out, a number of other commenters reacted to the situation, and some targeted the realtor. Who's stalking who on Instagram now, one person asked. And Dorit replied, exactly.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
But otherwise, I enjoyed it. They got us today, that's for sure. They did. But overall, super fun time. Good to be back and good to be talking crap about some. Bravo headlines. Let's get into them, shall we? It was a pretty busy week on Bravo, you know, since our last, since two weeks ago. I mean, for one thing, on a show that I've never watched or never given a shit about, Sheena was on it.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Oh, and then Dorit wrote, Well, apparently, funny, funny, that apparently she's been trying for years and kept getting turned down to get on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Well, maybe this was a last ditch attempt.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Yeah, just you wait, Henry Higgins. So a commenter said, Tracy Tudor, who even are you? You look like you're trying to look like Dorit. You wish. How much jealousy do you carry within yourself to kick a woman when she's down? You know, I hate that. Kick a woman or kick somebody when they're down. That's how you play soccer. Nobody yells at those people. That's what you do.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
There's something on the ground. You kick it. It's like when you see litter. What are you going to do? Pick it up? No, you could hurt your back. Kick it. Okay. This is Bravo.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
I was robbed. Robbed of $10,000 straight out of my Target shopping cart. My home goods shopping cart. My...
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Forever not 21 anymore. That's what I've always called this store.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
uh so reality blurb is giving us a lot today because we've already read from them oh by the way we were just reading from reality blurb so thanks to reality blurb but also guess what more stories because it's to read and they really do not like to read so people were accusing dorit and pk of just faking this divorce storyline because it really doesn't seem to be happening and then they're seen together all the time looking happy and
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Dorit, you know, it's rumored that Dorit was going to be fired. Well, literally every year that Dorit's been on, it's been rumored that she's getting fired because Dorit really doesn't do a lot. She does a lot for us. Like, we enjoy making fun of Dorit a lot. But she doesn't do much on the show. So every year it's rumored she's going to get fired.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
So that was a big surprise. Everyone's like, oh my God, Sheena turned out to be in The Masked Singer. And my only question is, how did you not know it was Sheena? I mean, wasn't every song just like... I know.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
And so every time any storyline happens with Dorit, she's accused of falsifying the storyline, like the robbery, the multiple robberies, stuff like that. So now they're being accused of faking this divorce. So now they're really upping their game because PK was spotted in New York when Dorit was doing Watch What Happens Live. So people are like, oh, my God, he's there supporting Dorit.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
So they're faking it. So PK... sparked rumours of a new romance during a recent visit to New York City, am I right, babe? As is a strange wife, Dorit was also in the Big Apple. For watch what happens, PK stepped out with the mystery brunette at what appeared to be a nightclub.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Show me. Show me. I need to see it. Okay. Ready? All right. Here we are. Some tiki-taki.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Yeah. There are a lot of old guys in this nightclub.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
A lot of old guys. What's that place that we used to go to in New York? Real Housewives of New York? Beautique. This is the new boutique. Oh, my God.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
PK's dancing.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
That's the spotting PK? It's some old guy talking to some women. Like, what is so scandalous about this video?
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Yeah, like that guy's not used to getting turned down. Please. It's not your first time at this rodeo, sir.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Yeah, that's what I'm getting to. What is this nightclub? I need to know what this nightclub is because it's scaring me. Look at the design. Look at the things in the ceiling that look like lampshades from the 70s that are coming down to suck your brains out.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Who needed a revamp of Planet Hollywood? That place sucked.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
We've fallen very, very hard. Okay, so in other news, VPR starts shooting the reboot soon. And some of this cast has been spotted. So I figure we can go through this and look at some of the new cast. You want to?
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Okay, so while you're pulling that up, also in other Vanderpump news, Lisa Vanderpump continues to win. She was just given her own casino in Vegas. She's partnering with Caesars to open the Vanderpump Casino, darling. Swinging chandeliers, nickel lane nickel machines. Nickel lane, as we'll call them.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
They're like slot machines, but they're stuck inside of a cage, inside of another cage, inside of another cage with a light and a crystal coming out of it. I'm not really sure about that, but I hope the whole casino smells like animal shit. Like her house. And there's like little tiny gnats flying everywhere because of all the animal boop.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
They might as well be masked as waitresses at Sir for the good they do.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
For those of you who don't know, convicted of human trafficking, disgusting pieces of shit, let off by Trump. For what reason? Nobody knows. Because they like him. And unleashed back into the world. And they were at – I don't know if it was a gig that DJ James Kennedy was playing at or whatever, but –
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
He was there and then he had to come out with a big long apology after posting a picture with them saying, oh, I didn't even know these guys. You know, I mean, I didn't know who they were. I just I just they said they had heard of my of my music. So we took a picture and they were they posted the next day.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
This fucking guy followed us for an hour and begged us for a picture until we gave it to him. So fuck off, James, you know.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
yeah still still the same old fuck off from james you're under fire for abuse allegations with your girlfriend you get dumped and then you take a picture with human brothers like how many chances does james get honestly yeah it's over it's done it's done i don't think you come back from that uh well you do just like not on websites that i'm going to anytime soon so anyway
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
You're certainly not coming back to Mother Jones.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Good luck ever getting another cover story on Salon.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Um, so the first person we're getting is Damiana, Damiana, I think, I don't know, but I'm assuming Damiana. Damiana. Who has a resemblance to Sheena Shea, poses in her so young form. This girl does not have a resemblance to Sheena Shea. She's got long brown hair. But yeah, otherwise I don't, I don't see it.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
She does, however, have the face we were talking about before, which is just so much injections and Botox. It looks like, how old is this girl? Is she 20 or is she 50? Like, I literally don't know.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
I can't tell either, but I'm going to love her. I can tell you that much. Then we see a clip, a picture. Oh, should we be putting this on? Oh, yeah, let me do that.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Well, hello, everybody, and welcome to Crappy Hour. It is Monday, March 17th, 2025. I'm Ronnie Karam, and that over there is Mr. Ben Mandelker, the handsome, the gorgeous, the talented, the thin, the well-coiffed, the mucho-haired Ben Mandelker. How you doing today, baby? Hey.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
And I like that. I like that. She could be like dead, you know, I'm into, you got to keep up with the modern times, you know, make it scary. Just have, have our first dead person. Don't just make her dead in the eyes and get a literal dead person to be the new. Yeah.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Here's why I'm going to say this is what I'm calling. No, Venus is not the girl is the dude. It's the dude in the surcap is named Venus. I learned because I looked through these pictures already.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
so that's the guy he's like hot i guess and then the girl to his left is going to be the new kristin i guarantee it because she was already left out of the picture she's already awkward yeah yeah this is i know you haven't seen the nora yet but this is giving me big time menorah vibes once you see it it'll all make sense okay ready so let's get to the next picture Demiana again.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
She looks different in every picture.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
And I only want to eat out of ceramic bowls behind her.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Okay, and don't worry. There's also something for us, Ben. Go to the next picture.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Hottie posing by the pool. We don't really see his face because he's looking up to the sun because he's so young that he's like, give me that vitamin D right into my face. Whereas, you know, the modern cast would be like, son, I'm not going into the sun. Son!
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
So Lisa Vanderpump, I know she likes her skimpy outfits, but this is not even creative. I like when they had to go to like the... They didn't have Temu then, but what did they have? It was some other discount, like Chinatown or whatever, or the fashion district downtown, wherever they were. Santee Alley, where they went to get their dresses before.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
But these are just black t-shirts on some bad cotton short shorts. I don't get it.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Yeah, they're revamping the cast. They need to revamp this restaurant. I don't think this restaurant has had a deep clean since it's opened. It looks dirty.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Well, you have to remember this place only has the lights on while people are working in the day. When it's nighttime, it's all those Lisa Vanderpump or now Tom Sandoval, Phillips Hue lights. So it doesn't really look like that. Okay, so next we see her doing an homage to the... We see this Natalie McGuire doing an homage to the originals and the original dresses.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
All right, we'll skip her.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
He's going to be a real problem. Wait until you see the next picture of Venus. Flip over to the next one. How is this the same person? What? Venus? How is this the same? I don't get that this is the same person.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Yeah, he's giving us douche bro in one, and then in the next he's giving us non-binary ethereal diva bitch. Which I'm hoping is the version that we're going to get on the show, because I would not fuck with this bitch, that's for sure. He's like, I'm wearing turquoise, which says peace, but I'm wearing hair and lips that says C word.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Fucking Peter. Peter's done interviews where he's like, of course I'm coming back to VPR. Did you think I would ever leave? Ever leave? Ever leave? No, Peter, I didn't think you would ever leave. Peter probably is the first dead cast member. He's just a ghost. He's just the ghost butler of Vanderpump Rules.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Can I just say right now, before we take another picture, this is a loud environment. I just got a notification. Everybody.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
She's like, Oh, that girl, that girl, no one's taught that girl makeup yet. She's not from here.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Well, I mean, look, we know nothing about these people, but just from the pictures, I'm excited.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
They're done. They're rolling news. They're done. They're finished. Speaking of being finished, so are we. We're going to move over to the audience hangout portion of this show on YouTube.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Hava Nagila Weber.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Yes, we can-a, it's Sedana.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
a lot of people met lady gaga this week i saw lady gaga all over the instagram lady gaga was like you know what i'm back i'm just gonna go hug everybody on their instagram this week that's all i'm gonna do
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
I don't know who can watch The Masked Singer. I call that show The Earplugged Viewer. Because it's like, who's wearing the earplugs? Me. It's me every week. Me. And bless her heart. So that was that. For those of you who missed it, Carl Radke is coming out with a biography. It's called Cake Eater. It's like, gosh, people wonder where the name Cake Eater came from.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
It's from people who grew up, you know, privileged. People think I have so much privilege. You know, in Pittsburgh, my neighborhood in Pittsburgh, people would call the privileged kids who have everything cake eaters. Well, I'm not a cake eater. So I made a book called Cake Eater.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
The other misconception is that I like hard hugs. I do not like hard hugs. I like soft hugs.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
I'm glad Carl's dipping into the world of literature.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Yeah, he came out and, you know, he did it in a good way because he really didn't try to profit off of it at all. Speaking of profiting off addiction, he was like, you know what? I have a coke addiction and a new podcast. This is going on tour. It's like, wow, way to sell it. You know, get it all out there at the same time.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
I don't think either one of his are working too well.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
i am great thanks how are you doing good i'm freezing cold but other than that i'm cold i'm great i don't even mind really being cold i kind of like it i'm getting used to it we were in toronto and minneapolis and it was cold there so i'm just gonna get used to it
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
And she made an Instagram with it, and she just took wacky pictures of herself.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
And it's just a close-up of her tongue coming out of her mouth like that. So that sounds terrifying. I'm sure it will be full of lies, which is fine by me. I love Scamanda. So that's coming out. But they're not the only ones. Have you read the onslaught that have been coming in ever since those two announced?
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
There's more. There's even more.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
That's already an onslaught. There is one. I'm going to look it up right now. Oh, I see one already. Gia Giudice. Gia Giudice is getting a podcast. It's called Casual Chaos. Gia Giudice. That's what I think of when I see her.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
It's going to be, all right, you guys, today on my podcast... teresa is really taking a lot of from melissa and i really don't approve of not being loved properly by my uncle joe who i loved with all my heart i can't i really can't um we also have a new one coming out from that most magnetic personality on bravo
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Yeah, I think so, but I'm not really sure what it is, so I can't even argue it. And I can't argue for or against her. I can argue against this podcast. So there's another one. Are you ready for another one? Yeah. This is, here you go. Now this is going to be the best one.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
And oddly enough, it's called Come Together, which I think is the most awkward title for a podcast from these two, because they literally want to make people think they're coming all the time with the people, with other people. It's the most exciting. Let me tell you, they're really handing podcasts to very charismatic people.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
We've got Gia Giudice, we've got Michelle Lawley, and now we've got the hottest couple in town, Aaron and Gabe. Aaron and Abe. Lachey. No, not Lachey. What's her last name? Leaky. Leaky? Leachy. Leachy. Leachy. Leachy.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
Aaron, first episode, cackling hacks. Second episode, Bitcoin. Also, Aaron's been all over the news. She's been on like, you know, news tickers or whatever, talking about how she's going to overcome tariffs for Mezcal. We would do anything to bring Mezcal to the United States.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
So good luck to everybody. I'm not going to listen to any of you, but good luck. So speaking of Erin, Erin has also been really trying to get Lindsay Hubbard on Real Housewives of New York City. She said in an interview, oh, my God, I would love to have Lindsay. I'm going to totally try to get her in there because, you know, I'm a producer of Real Housewives of New York, as everyone knows.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
As the most fascinating cast member of a show that hasn't been working for the past two seasons, I'm going to pull my weight and try and get Lindsay Hubhouse on there.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
You know, actually, it computes perfectly for me. I think she's just what that show needs. Because, you know, what you're saying, I get like taking someone from one of the youth oriented shows, but they're aged out of that show. And also Real Housewives of New York is kind of like a youth. They're trying to make it like a more youthful version of Housewives. So I think Lindsay would fit.
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#2767 Crappy Hour 3/17/25: Dorit V Debts, Jax V Cocaine, Carl V Literature, Bravoleb Pods
And also she's she's being she's an influencer now. I was going to say trying to be, but she's an influencer now. So she would fit right in with those people. And she's also unhinged enough to make that interesting. Like, I'd love to see her go against the comment you just put up is Lindsay Hubbard is Avery's grandmother.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So then we go back to Brit and her dog Mimosa, and they have now come over to Kelly's. Now, this is so funny because these are two new housewives, and they are total season one noobs because both of them are like, oh, my God. Hi. Hi. Especially the waffle lady. Like, she is completely over the top. See, that was cracking up.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So Kelly's like, we're definitely both dog moms, so we always get our bitches together. Am I right? Yeah.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So they're talking about their, Kelly's like, girl, I was up at 5 a.m. this morning. I'm working on waffle contingencies. Lots of planning going into the new waffle place. And she's like, what's happening?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So Britt is like, Britt's like, no, I won't say ceremony because I won't say ceremony because I want a huge wedding, okay? Because I want something that's sexy. I want something that's glamorous, but like intimate.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
You know what I don't want to go to? A sexy wedding. Okay? Go fuck yourself. It's bad enough I have to come to your wedding in the first place without it being a sexy wedding. Nobody wants a sexy wedding, okay?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I mean, I was pretty, that's cool. Here's my favorite kind of wedding. A quick one. Okay. Make it fast. Five minutes, five minutes. And that's the end. Okay. I won't watch you dance with your mom.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I agree. So Brittany talks about her, you know, having a Zoom opportunity to have her wedding because hers was during the pandemic. So they just went to the courthouse, filed paperwork, and did a Zoom. And she's like, you know, I didn't feel great about that, but being a wife was way more important.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Now maybe I'll get a house that I want without marble or wallpaper or carpet. What were we talking about? Or a travel routine. There will be no Travertine. At least that's what Mike says. Because I think he actually named our baby Travertine. Sort of a nice name to think about it.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I said, are you paying the IVF doctor? He said, yes. The Travertine doctor? Yes.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
That whole situation where she was like going in on Drew, by the way, and Kelly's like, it shocked the waffle out of me. I was like, what is happening here?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I mean, one minute I was a waffle. The next minute I was a pancake. I was just flattened by that whole thing. Am I right, girl? And Britt tries to make this Kenya thing happen where she's like, oh, and yeah. And remember when Kenya was like, so where's your wedding band? Why is it so crazy to ask someone who's bragging about being married where their wedding band is?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
She's like, I don't care. No one tells the waffle maven. No, nobody. Stop waffling and get those permits.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I don't understand why this is crazy or why you're mad at Kenya. Yes, sure, Kenya can be shady, blah, blah, blah. But you're barking up the wrong tree if you think you're going to win against Kenya. Now, technically, you did because Kenya got kicked off the show. But Kenya only lost that one because she just went too far. She got herself kicked off, not you, okay?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So no victory laps for you, ma'am.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
First of all, have you even seen my friends ring Kenya? And Brittany's like, yeah, I mean, like, I'm like, how about you worry about your divorce? Like, why are you worried about if I got a wedding band or not? She says, girls, they see me and they're like, oh, she's pretty. She's like, she looks like a mean girl.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
But when you actually get to know me, I'm like the sweetest person you've ever, ever met. The sweetest, hottest insurance lady in all of Atlanta.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
This is our favorite character, the one who's like, you know what? Girls are mean to me because they're jealous. No, they're not. Yeah. OK, you're an asshole. You're an asshole. And also this whole bragging about like, oh, wow, well, she's divorced. Why don't you worry about that instead of worrying about me who's married? You know, actually, she's got the better deal.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
She's already dealt with the shitty man, gotten rid of him. OK, you're still the shitty man chapter. OK, don't act like you have some price. Your man looks fucking miserable. OK, and he won't get you the finishes you want in your house and he won't get a room for your mom and he won't even watch a movie with you without scrolling on your phone.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I don't know what the fuck you think you're bragging about Zoom wedding, but calm down.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So, she says, speaking of divorces, as your friend, like, I wanted to give you time to kind of share whatever you wanted to share and not be like, girl, what's the tea? So, this is my way of saying, like, if you want to have a scene right now talking about your marriage, then that would be, thank you so much for that platform that you're giving me, Brit.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I'm going to have my waffles and I'm going to eat them too. And nobody in this town is going to take me down. You want to know how I keep all this syrup in me? Because I'm a waffle. I'm a waffle. I've got multiple walls up. Multiple little spools with a syrup in my head.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So, yeah, he ripped off the company account. He emptied it. And so then she went to Tulum for her birthday trip. An accountant called her and said, what's your bank account? So now she's suing him to get it back. And then it got so nasty that it got physical and the police were always being called. And it just was a total shit show, basically.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And so the girls are dealing OK with it and they've got each other's back. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Can't wait till you hate each other in five minutes.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
i also like a non-committal fitness place it's just like all around fitness whatever you want to do you want to do you want to do a treadmill do the treadmill you want to let you want to do a pull-up go ahead there's a bar over there you want to run in place what the fuck do i care it's all around just do whatever you want hey hey did you work out today yeah what'd you do i don't know just like all around fitness
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So Drew's like, Angela and I have been friends for three years. We're Chi-town girls, right? For sure, we're always going to be bonded. She's never going to turn against me. She's not going to hate me in about three episodes. It's going to be great.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So Angela has already come in here deciding, fuck this, I'm not going to pretend to be Drew's friend. And this has happened with Drew before, where people come on as her friend. Didn't it happen with Tanya? Tanya or Sonia? No, it happened with Sonia. Remember Sonia?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
But it's hilarious that it's happened to Drew two times in a row. I mean, that's pretty good. That's a record. So they brought in this other lady to be her friend. And it's episode two. And she's like, yeah, I'm not doing that. Nope. She sucks. So she's like, girl, sit down. Listen, I'll be honest. In that moment, I was like, Drew, why are we working with him?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I mean, out of all the people in Atlanta, the hot dog guy, the hot dog guy, you could have at least called my husband. He just made Brussels sprouts for 900 people. Why? Nobody knows.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I actually had a very sexy song produced by the people who created the Hawaiian role. So that was big.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And then Dennis came to the table with an offer. You know, he was holding a hot dog because it was an after party filled with hot dogs. And I thought, you know what? This is perfect. You know, and Portia should just tell me how she feels instead of aggressively attacking me and accusing me of things. You know, Dennis has been an advocate for me and for Ralph as well.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So we know that he only stands behind good people. Am I right, girls? Am I right?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So then we find out from Drew, and this really does suck. Oh, my gosh. She's like, well, Ralph has taken large sums of money, and he's also asking for alimony, percentages of my business, child support. What the fuck, Ralph? Of course, Ralph is. Super, super successful businessman who didn't need anything from anybody because he was so rich.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah. So then she tells us a story about how she opened her first waffle place in a different town after she met Mike. Oh, no, no. Wait, I'm sorry.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Which is why I'm dating a man who only feeds me hot dogs. This is going to work out great. So she's like, so are you doing an EP, doing an album? Like, what are you doing? Oh, gosh, we have close to 30 records done. It's crazy. You should hear my voicemails because he just sends me ideas and I send him voicemail ideas. I mean, we're basically the Beatles.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So then Angela's like, uh-huh. So, Shamia, your party, you just blurted out, like, are you fucking? I mean, are you fucking Dennis? Why do you have to do that at the party? And she's like, it came from rumors. And she's like, well, I'm shocked that you had to do that for Portia because, you know, basically you're Portia's secretary. Is that what you're doing? You're just Porsche's secretary now.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So that's great. You're Porsche's assistant. And Shamia's like, wow, why are you coming in so hot? She goes, so did you ask the... Oh, so I remembered this as her going against Drew, but she's going against Shamia. No, she went against Shamia.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah. So she's like, well, you were just asking that question for Portia. And she goes, no, I asked for myself, you know, and if you were listening and Shamia is telling us, you know, oh, wow. Who knew that this girl could even speak? Because at my birthday party, when Portia was handed when handed it to Drew, she was just a little church mouse.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So Angela's like, you're not going to just bulldoze me. Charles Oakley heard of him.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah. So then Drew's like, you know what? If they put up a graphic, if you look up lapdog in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of Shamia. It's like, oh, my God, this is like your fourth season and that's the best you got. Do you have no gaze there?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah, well, they're not going to fix it this season. I think they think it looks good so far. So then Portia, we go to Portia and it says Portia's ex-fiance, Drew's business partner, Dennis. Because they're at a kid's place and Dennis is there to shoot. So Portia's like, well, we're great parents to Pilar. But, you know, there's such a loss from the divorce.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And, you know, now there's closeness from both of us. And that's just what Pilar needs. So she's doing all the rides and slides and stuff. And Dennis comes in and she's like, so what about Drew? And he's like, we're just doing business together. Have you ever heard a hot dog sing? Me neither, but you will soon.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
She's like, well, you say business, but Drew, in front of our crew, said something completely different in all of this.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I was thinking of the multiplying the hot dogs. That was in the New Testament when Jesus was like, you got one hot dog. How would you like 90? And people like hot dogs for life. Did you hear that Jesus walked on hot dogs?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
uh so dennis is like listen drew's going through a divorce with my homeboy you know and you know how it is and she's like what does that have to do with me and he's like listen you had 16 marriages on tv and i had to see all of that and i was in pain all right and we share some similar things we can create music on You know, like being screwed over on national television.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And I told Drew that she should have a conversation with you about go naked. But I didn't feel like I even had to do that. And, you know, this is my business. Why do I have to get permission from you?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
It's like you're making your way back onto my own television show by fucking somebody or by at least flirting with the idea of having a relationship with somebody else on the show. You slimy fuck. That's what she's saying. And he's like, well, what? I can't make an album. So she's like, OK, so I'm concerned.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
You know, I'm concerned with her as a person who's supposed to be my friend who will try to bring my child's father and film with him in my territory. And he's like, well, listen, if she's going to use the platform for promotion and I'm working on the thing that she's promoting, it's only natural that I'm here.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Now you're pissing me off. OK, this is too much.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
You want to film with her in this? He's like, no, no, no. Why? He's like, it's very important. Why?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
At first, the business started to fall off. And I said, listen, we're not going to fall off. Wait a minute. Falafel waffle. It failed, but I tried.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah. So then they drive off together, but they still have their mics on.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Right. So then they drive off, and they've got their mics on. And she's like, listen, when you show up anywhere on these cameras with somebody else, it's going to be a problem. Another damn housewife? That looks absolutely insane. And he's like, you know we're on the hot mic, right? And she goes, oh, yeah, you're a pro now, right?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Listen, we heard about you with family. We represent us. This represents family.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And she goes, okay, you know what? Do what you do, and it's going to work out how it happens. And he goes, what? And she's like, mark how this looks for your daughter, okay? I don't even know why I stopped right there. You know what? Because she's just stopped in the road. She just stopped in the road to bitch him out. And then she's like, why am I stopped?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And she goes, you got me doing stupid shit. I can't count on anybody. And he's like, come on, P. And she's like, shut up. So that's the end. He's not going to listen. He's just going to keep doing this show. But you know what? You married a camera hungry dude.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. It's
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Deeb. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yes, we canna, it's Savannah.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I'll have the Womlet. The Womlet? You got Womlets? I got Womlets. So then we go over to meet, well, not meet Brett, but we see Brett and her husband who hates her.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I don't know, but every husband on this show is going to be trained on how to get out of basement soon because this is a banner year for basements on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. That's huge.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Charades at home. Like finally we're having a, a, a basement season and I'm not, I'm not great. We've also got a waffle lady. When I ate a one lit, damn it. My timing is just never right.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So Brit's like, so why are we going to watch that new movie? I was telling you that I wanted to see on Netflix. He's like, yes. And you're not going to be on your phone?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah, and she's like, this is a consideration card that I'm talking about. I need some more consideration. He's like, oh, god, here we go with consideration. So she tells us her romantic story. They got married during COVID because honestly, we all thought the world was going to end.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And you just looked at the person who was right next to you and you were like, we're going to make this work because we're going to die together. And someone has to teach me how to make bread because everybody's doing it. And she met him when she launched her insurance agency. And Mike was her client, but she didn't want to date her client. So they just became friends.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Who gets rid of a client for a man? Yeah.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So I was trying to think of the person who does the percentages, an actuary. Do you want to have a threesome? Because I know a good actuary.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And then all Simon did really was make a joke about an adjuster. And then suddenly Homeland Security and the FBI were surrounding the plane.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I didn't realize the first law of adjusting is that you can't joke about adjusting. It was my fault.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Sometimes I'm like, I'm Portia!
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And then suddenly I'm like, I'm Portia. Because Portia's gone through a metamorphosis, you know? She's been on for a long time. And when we see clips of her fighting with Kenya, she is very much like, you know, she did talk like that. But now she talks a little bit lower. And she also makes a lot of Nene faces. Have you noticed that? She does like a lot of Nene expressions.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So anyway, she was dating her insurance agent and then they went to Vegas.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And I said, now, Mike, in Vegas, there's not going to be any hanky panky.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Oh, OK. OK, Brett. And settle down, Nora. What every man want, what every man pays for trips to Vegas for it, not having sex with their insurance lady.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
They had baby mimosa, a little poodle thing, who's very cute, by the way.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So they're talking about her remodel and she's like, well...
Watch What Crappens
#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I know you don't want to have another extra room, but if we don't, then that means mom is going to be in the room next to me. Now, I'm willing to make some adjustments to the budget because I'll take out all the high-end stuff from our place, but we need a room for mom.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And she's basically doing like, honey, you're going to get me the house I want, right? My dream house.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Do you want to have a baby at this house or, like, the next house?
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
She's like, because we're adults and I'm the planner and you're, like, just throwing it against the wall kind of guy.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
It's another one of those where it's like, you see somebody who is trying to make somebody into something. They're not clearly like you're going to be interested and you're going to buy me a dream house. Right. And he's like, Probably not. He's just scrolling on his phone. She's like, this is going to work. It's going to be great. Everything's going to be great.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I don't see this relationship going very far. But guess what relationship I do see going far? I got a text today from an unknown number that said, what time do you get off work today? And I said, why? What do you want to do? And she said, hi, I'm Kim. Long time no see. How are you recently? I'm going to say missing you. I say missing you. So great to hear.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
What are your pronouns? Yeah. Oh, I'm going to ask her in the next text if she thinks that men in America should drink wine or if only in other countries.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Oh, we were just talking about you, mom. Like, are you selling the house and you're going to move in with a baby? Cause like, you know, we're like going to get pregnant this year.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah. She's like, you're going to have a baby. Oh, you are going to have a baby. So Mike has a son who's 15, but he wants to experience being a girl dad. So they're going to do IVF so they can choose the sex.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah. I mean, it's hard, but, you know, if you get to pick the baby, I don't know.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah, it was Shadina. And Shadina has given birth to a lot of babies. I mean, that's a lady who works. Oh, my God. And you know what? Shadina has really learned, like a true housewife, how to parlay this. opportunity into a bigger business. Because when Shadina started, she was just like someone in Phoenix that they found on Craigslist or something. I don't know.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And now Shadina has her own surrogate agency. Shadina's like a leader in the surrogate world. So I was like, damn, Shadina.
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
yeah and then she has her man her project manager who's like let me tell you this you pay me to be honest with you and i'm being honest with you we're not ready and she's like why why what do we need what do we need she's very big you know she's not used to being on tv yet so she's very much like this is my waffle house and it's going to be an empire what do you mean we can't get the the permits how can we not get permits todd has restaurants who cares just open up
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#2766 RHOA S16E02 Part Two: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
yeah and so basically um she's gonna find her another surrogate because she still wants to have kids and they're like i love you i love you you know she's like i love you it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Why didn't you? It's a duet. I passed it over. I passed you the baton. You know what? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
We're going to be going this week, next week, this week, this week, this week to Charlotte, Atlanta. We're going to be doing Southern Charm finale in Charlotte. And then Atlanta, we're going to do a classic episode because that's a Sunday night show. And we just, you know, we really love doing classics. Bring me some Shannon Bedore classic. Okay. So we're going to Ireland.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
How do we miss that? I was so disappointed in us. We actually had to have a meeting about it.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Okay. I know we're busy, but there are things that are just slipping through our fingers. We are not the same. Get it together. Yeah.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
thanks so um basically he's like yeah um he reached out to management he wanted me to do an app he wanted to do an after party and then at the after party he did a whole professional pitch guys about working on my music you know and so that's when i told porsche remember porsche i told you on the phone remember i said dennis has been my angel on earth dennis has been a crutch to a lady with broken ankles dennis has been the breath to a drowning person
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
i'm an actor i think i want to be a director that's a leap hey here's some hot dogs for after party i think i would be your music producer now not a leap um so she said well i'm so excited for you to hear this you know and i did ask dennis i said portia portia one of the best people in the world one of my Dearest friends of all time. She's not going to mind, right?
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
You're going to talk to Portia, right? And I asked for her blessing. He said that he asked for your blessing and you gave it to him. And she said, uh-uh. Portia's just like, uh-uh, stop lying. Stop lying to each other about me. And she's like, nope, Dennis has been like a brother to me since, you know, we all hung out. We all know what happened to Ralph. Poor Ralph.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
But still, love for him in my heart. And every time I pass that stairwell in the kitchen, all I hear is...
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah. And then this is so Drew, too. She goes, And then that's when he really nailed the pitch. He looked me deep into my eyes and said, I need you to record this song. This song right here. Because this song is for me and Portia. And when we were in the studio, he cried. He just started bawling. It was a little hot dog with tears streaming out of it.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
We're going to be doing a season. I don't even remember the episode number.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Oh, that's so nice to hear. Oh, okay, are you done? And she's like, oh, wow, the posturings. The posturings. So she's like, okay, listen, I don't give a shit about Dennis. Fuck him, marry him, kill him. I don't care. Throw him in the basement with Ralph, okay? I literally don't care. But I have rooted for you. Do you understand that? I have rooted for your hair.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I made you a hair ambassador for Go Naked. I said, come be an ambassador for Go Naked. The things that I do for other people.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Weren't you? Because she even told me about Dennis and all that. So you're saying that she did call you and tell you, but now you're deciding to be mad about it. I didn't get it. She kind of explains it later in a, in a, in a better way where I understand it. So, well, now she says, is there a producer here? Can I break the fourth wall? And they're like, yeah, go for it.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And so Drew's like, well, what did I do? So she's like, okay, we're on a TV show and we have our family and we have friends and we have, we have to support, we have our own support systems. And you've been trying to go behind my back to do something dirty by asking Dennis to film with you. So it's like, whoa. Yeah.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Well, Dennis is a low down dirty one here, too, because Dennis went to her and pitched this whole thing so he could stay on the show, even though you're you left us a long time ago and you can kick him off whenever you want to. So I think that was, you know, he at least gets some of the blame for this.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah. So then basically now they're all like trying to kind of figure out what's going on. Right. So Kenya is saying, I mean, she's a whole married woman. And Portia's like, well, I don't give a shit about what else you got going on. And Britt's like, I mean, I get it. She's married, but that's her baby daddy, too. So we don't really know what's going on so far.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
That's super unprofessional. But you know what? Go to our Instagram and look at it. And we'll also announce it the rest of the week so you guys get it. But it's posted on our Instagram. So go look at it there.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So Portia's like, well, look, the second part was that she called production and told them that she was setting up a photo shoot for my company, Go Naked. So it still sounds like, why are you mad? Because she's setting up a photo shoot for your hair to publicize your hair.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Right. When she explained it that way, I kind of got it. She's like, OK, she's basically taking she's basically taking something that can be used as a weapon against me. And she's giving him an opportunity to shit talk me on national TV.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah. So Britt's like, is this about Dennis or is this about the photo shoot? And Kenya says, well, I think she's mad about Dennis, I think. And she's like, well, if you want to lie to me, you can lie. So then Shamia's like, do you guys want to have cake? She's like twerking in the background. She's like, you want cake? So then no one really knows.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And Cynthia's like, well, Portia is saying that Drew is lying. And Drew does lie. She's lied once or twice or three times. Drew's lied more times than I've been married. So.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
my plan just makes people so sexy he became irresistible so she's like i'm taking it back i'm just confused i mean is it drew is it dennis is it to go naked shoot it's just like oh my god she wants to be mad at me so she's mad at me so let's go watch drew i'm gonna start saying things now real real housewives he like if you look up upset in the dictionary you'll see portia's picture
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah. And then there's also a, uh, there's like a bubble party too. It's like a foam party and a pool party.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
it's like a lot of stuff happened outside during this fight you know like we went outside the party was totally different i felt bad for the girl who's fire dancing with only her fingers because that's a weird fire dance right because normally people are like swinging around big balls on chains with fire or a big fire stick and this girl just had a couple of little birthday candles on her on her index fingers and she's like does this mean i don't get a tip my fuckers with the fucking wet
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
A lot of Brussels sprouts. I think that Charles agreed to do this show to make his cooking career happen. I think he's probably going to be like cooking at home with Charles. And if you want to learn, you know, since this is our grumpy ass husband of the new cast, Which I'm grateful for it so far. I hope he's just grumpy and not downright like abusive and evil. You know what I mean?
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
fairly shortly yeah it's on our insta so check it there and then we're gonna be at uh the lincoln theater in washington dc philadelphia after that and uh boston and then detroit chicago austin dallas and vegas so go get your tickets over at watchwhatcrappens.com people are asking about the meet and greets they should be available as an add-on at the end when you're purchasing it's like an add-on thing
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Like emotionally abusive. Because this is Real Housewives. You never know. But so far he's just grumpy and I like it. She goes, you want some wine, babe? And he's like, I don't drink white wine. A man shouldn't have sweet wine. Unless maybe he's overseas or out of the country or something. Cooking with Charles.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah. You can't tell the gays apart over there. It's fucking Europe or someplace.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So we get to meet her daughter, who is Amari. And so they're talking about, he's mad that she didn't clean the kitchen. She's like, but I did clean it. And he's like, well, I'm just saying, I don't want to come home dirty. You know, it's dirty. If I'm cooking and the kitchen is dirty, you can do that shit in Europe, but it's not going to pass here. Go overseas or out of the country or something.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So, no kidding. Unless you don't want to be gay bashed for having a fucking glass of wine. Jesus Christ.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
It's like, I identify as beer slash whiskey. Unless it goes to Thailand. Did you catch up on the white Lotus, by the way? No, I'm saving it because I'm back home in LA now. So I'm just, I tried to get all my Bravo on the plane so that now I can like relax tonight and watch my severance of my white Lotus.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So great. So we've said that about Angela and Charles and they met at a, at a party in Chicago, like 10 years ago or something. I don't know, a long time ago. And then he didn't call her for 10 years, but then they happened to become neighbors in the same condo. And so then he was like, okay. And she's like, I think, I feel like fate brought us together. Let me tell you what brought you together.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Convenience. Okay. That's how I'm going to meet my husband too. It's going to be a neighbor or it's going to be somebody who just like comes to sell me something because I'm not making any effort. I'll tell you that. It's going to be an Amazon delivery person, as we've talked about before, a task rabbit. Yeah.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Unfortunately, Brittany started calling him and wouldn't stop for a while.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So we find out that Angela's thing is buying houses and remodeling and selling them. But she's got five at a time right now, which sounds like a crazy workload. And we see them and they're huge houses. So I'm not really sure. That's a lot of funding. It's a lot.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Uh, so thanks to everybody who's been coming out. We also did one of our favorite things this week was an airport snaps, which is where we recap people in airports. Uh, this was the Cincinnati airport and we just sat in the food court and judged the fuck out of people. Uh, it's so much fun. Go check that out over on our Patreon. If you want to catch up on traders recaps, those are over there.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
She does. And I think that if you buy five houses, then you're doing something. You know what I mean? It's not like it's not some pie in the sky thing. Now, we don't know. We haven't seen the houses. I hope she has an episode where she goes through and shows us the remodels and stuff because, you know, I love that shit. So I hope we get that. But yeah, I agree with you. So far, she seems real.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So she's basically gossiping with her daughter and her husband. Neither one of them care about any of this shit. But she's trying to get them interested in her new job. So she's like, these girls are so messy. And Drew's music, she's doing it with Porsche's ex-boyfriend who apparently sells hot dogs. But I don't think Drew should have done that. But she has a reason. So I kind of see both sides.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I mean, who's going to turn down a hot dog?
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah. And he's like, I don't want to hear this story. And she's like, well, I'm saying that she's doing work with her ex-boyfriend and that's a problem. And he's like, well, you did work with your ex-boyfriend. And she's like, OK, Charles. He's like, yeah, well, it was fine then. Right. Oh, well, what? It's always some well with some water in it. A man said that. Don't you forget it.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And he goes, let them talk about you. Don't talk about them. Don't be a follower. Be a leader.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Just a man who could benefit from a few soul fights. Am I right?
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So their other kid comes in. He's like, are you Bruce Lee, dad? And he goes, now, why would you say that? And he goes, you're a stupid bandana. And he's like, oh, you got jokes, huh?
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Oh, like a fainting couch kind of thing?
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Oh, I didn't notice. Did you notice the sofa?
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
OK, yeah, I don't like this. so um someone named a restaurant after it so that was very fancy because if i went to a restaurant it would be named like ikea sectional you know oh ronnie i forgot we have to wrap up this i have a reservation at futon later so oh my god i'll be a beanbag chair and come say hi it's right down the street
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
We'll probably do another Airport Snaps coming up this week. And then we're trying to decide what the next show to cover on Bonus is. Will it be Secret Lives of Mormon Wives? We don't know. Will it be Love Island? Will we wait for that? We don't know. So give us your ideas in the comments. How about that? Yeah. Ask for stuff.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
we're going to divan this weekend commercials here comes one right now so porsche comes in her rolls-royce and it says mandarin seats gifted by simon in 2022 and then it says kenya's is her rolls-royce that she bought herself so it's like the competing rolls-royces whose is more valid Those are some big ass cars. I know they're very expensive and everybody's like, oh my God, I'm so fancy.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
My Rolls Royce. Here's what I think. Don't fucking park next to me in the Whole Foods or the, you know, the Ralph's or whatever, because I will purposely ding your car with my car door because you're taking up two spaces and that's not cool. No one needs to be driving that bus. Get that shit out of my way.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Okay. I wouldn't go that far. I'm not anti nice car in general. It's just like, does every car have to, you know, remind me about your penis? No.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Well, those are expensive cars. Oh my gosh. Okay, so Portia, they talk about how they've had a love-hate relationship. And, you know, we've done this for years with these two. Right now they're friends. And we see their fights, their best of fights. And now I'd like to introduce Miss America 1993. She's like, uh, Miss USA, I'm sorry. Bye, Ashy. Bye. Bye.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Well, especially this. We've already seen it on this show. Remember the first year they both had kids? Oh, my God. Look at us. We both have kids and kids.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
kenya came to pilar's you know what was it baby shower not baby shower but like first birthday party it was a princess party and they were like oh my god we're gonna be best friends and like two weeks later they're like die bitch i hope you die yeah so um and they're basically like oh god we're just too old to fight at this point i'm like again many other housewife shows i've
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So Kenya's like, yeah, I met with Drew a couple of days before. And she mentioned Dennis and the music. And I said, Dennis and the music. And Portia's like, well, he did do a kid's album for my daughter. And then we see the cover art for this album. And it's called All Star Kids, you know, written in crayon. Now this, I believe.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
um so i like that porsche is trying to stick up for him too she's like well he has a children's album so i mean it's not like he's nobody okay um so drew's she's like look drew makes shit up in her mind and i don't know what she's about to say or do but i root for her and i just go with it but then finding out that you're trying to film with him on here without telling me that's not cool
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah. And Kenya says, yeah, I think it's just trying to have his cake and eat it, too, which is a bad thing to say with Dennis, because Dennis is always going to have the cake and eat its cake. The man knows how to enjoy cake. You know, I don't really like that. I want to have my cake and eat it, too, too. I want to have it, swallow it. Eat it. I always liquefy it and rub it all over me.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I'll have cake any way I can. You know, I don't want to be judged about it. So for this, I stand up for the hot dog guy.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
No, I think it means like since it means the same thing, you're trying to have it twice. Like you're trying to have it both ways. You're trying to have both expressions because when you have your cake, you have your cake. And when you eat your cake, you eat your cake. And it's like, well, you, you can't have it. Like, you don't need to have it both ways. You already had it one way.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Does that make me wrong? I still don't understand it. You see, that's the thing about that.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah. So, of course, just like, well, our family right now is very, very vulnerable. Okay. And so Drew should be trying to protect her the way I've protected her. Did you not mention go naked hair? I go, okay. So Kenya says, yeah, you know, well, I see you spinning around the block with that little Rolls Royce that your estranged husband took from you. I'm like, wait a minute.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I'm a little flippered each of it, okay? I just got back from the airport. I didn't even take off my jacket. I haven't even peed, okay? But I did get a Starbucks. So let's do this. It's Real Housewives of Atlanta, season 100, episode 2. Fun episode.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
How do you have that car? And she's like, oh, you saw his post. And she's like, what do you mean? I saw his post. He does like 50 posts a day. Instagram is only him doing posts about what a shithead you are.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
hello and welcome to watch what crap ends a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on tlc just kidding bravo guys what else the else would we talk about the real world no we're not going to put you through that we're going to talk about some bravo hi ben how are you doing great great ronnie how are you doing i haven't seen you in forever it's been an hour it's been like an hour and a half
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
He just needs to tighten it up. He says, hashtag ignorance is a decease.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
isn't that a question for bethany oh my god i'm homeless i'm homeless i'm homeless because i feel like if you're in a rolls-royce crying homeless people would just be like just sell your your rolls-royce you could literally buy a house like or live in the rolls they're big enough yeah just double park homelessly in your roles so kenya's like how did we ever get to this place and it's so weird seeing kenya's just a backup like supporting character
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
That's for sure. She's been tweeting, um, Oh, really? I'm the one put on pause? Well, look, I'm the only one trending from this show.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So Kenya is asking her, so how did we get to this place, Portia, you and Simon? Everyone thought it would last forever. And Portia's like, well, I didn't know he was lying about certain things, you know, because we were on a jet and then we got surrounded and there was police every place and FBI and Homeland Security and terrorists. It was crazy. Literally everybody was teaming up against him.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And I was like, what's going on here? And then he said, well, one time I was in this car. I didn't know the car was stolen. And, you know, you can't do that when you have a green card because they get real mad if you do anything with the green card. And Kenya's like, oh, yeah, that's true. That's true.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I mean, let me tell you, the amount of people that I've known sitting in a stolen car with a green card. Trust me, I know. We're good. You're right.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I'm like, oh, you know, we were on a jet and then we got surrounded by, you know, every agency, every letter agency in existence. But he explained it away, you know, and I got it. You know, I would totally hear about the, you know, the sitting there in a stolen car thing from like 20 years ago. I'm sure it's no big deal.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So, Kenny's like, uh-huh. So, you were his fourth wife? And Portia, you see Portia try to decide what she's going to say here. And then she's like, fuck it, I'll just say it. She goes, um, fifth, fifth, actually. Kenny's like, fifth? She goes, yeah, because there was another marriage and that was fake.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So, yeah, so I filed for divorce and then I'm at my mom's house and then my phone beeps and one of the cameras is still on in the living room and he's got women in the house. Can you believe it? A man who was already in trouble for sitting in a stolen car 20 years ago.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So then she tells us her love story. She's like, you know, when I really knew Simon was my person was because I wrote a book about being treated badly by men. And he said, I read that book and I'll protect you. Portia, nobody read that book. People may have bought it, but nobody read that book. No one read it.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Now listen, I'll buy some Go Naked hair. Maybe I'll show it to Atlanta in some Go Naked clips.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
My head is naked and she sells hair, so I figure it should... Go naked by putting something on.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So she's like, I just wanted a man, a man who was honest, a man who left his wife for me basically after I flirted with him at a pool. Portia!
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
can't feel sorry for porsche i'm sorry and also porsche has a way of telling stories like drew sidora tells stories where she's just leaving chunks of information out like we don't all have the instagram porsche come on now and even kenya is kenya's like listen i need someone to shoot with so i'm going to be nice to you this season kenya kenya is just looking like she wants to rip into this and she's not letting her really does she really does
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And it's really cool because his label, he's just going to add an exclamation point to the end of hot dog. So instead of like the hot dog king, it's just going to be hot dog jam.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
She is at least blowing hot dog guy. There, I said it. I believe it. And then we see a picture. Someone has a picture on their phone, and they're like, we saw the Instagram picture, and we only see hot dog man's arm, but it is matching. It is the same color as her outfit. And you know Drew's line because she does this thing when she lies where she squeals all of her words.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So they're like, are you having sex with him? And she's like, stop it. And they're like, OK, but you're you're matching.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
She does this really high squeal thing. So, you know, she's a damn liar and she's lying in a Patsy Stone wig and an Ivana Trump wig. So it's not it's not going well for her.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
But how come when you eat like an actual hot dog that is flavored to taste like a hot dog? Because you know that shit is flavored, right? It's just like it's like pig nose cartilage that's ground up. And then they put flavoring and coloring and everything else in there. So God knows what it even is. And they flavor it to taste like hot dog. And then everybody's like...
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
That's so processed. That is such processed fear. I can't believe you're eating that. It's like the worst thing to ever happen to the earth. That's why the earth is eating us. And then somebody makes a piece of fucking gelatin that tastes like hot dog, which is the most processed shit. And people pay $500 for it. And I'm like, look at me. I ate a piece of gelatin that tasted like a hot dog.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I'm fancy. Like it's unfair.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Okay. So then, oh, by the way, we saw Tim Hortons at the airport, and our friend Caitlin gave us gift certificates to Tim Hortons, but it was on the other side of the fucking glass.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Talk about something that could be flavored like a hot dog. I wanted to go over there. We couldn't do it. Sorry, Tim. Okay, so Cynthia's still here. So she's like, well, I better not find out that anybody's booed up with Peter Anthony Thomas. Well, don't worry about it. Isn't he in prison? I think if he's booed up with anyone, it's with a very, very large man with teardrop tattoos.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
it's been 90 minutes i mean i feel like we've crossed borders together today we've been in different countries today you know we're super cosmopolitan guys we've been all over in one day we were just in canada this morning and here we are back at home to record three shows we're super excited we had the most fun this weekend we went to so many places we went to cincinnati minneapolis and toronto
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
It's true. And also they had to cut their budget a lot, you know, so they're getting Cynthia because they fired Cynthia already. So she's cheaper now. No, it's like five dollars. I will do it. I need to pay for, you know, Bailey Lake or Lake Bailey, Lake Bailey. Right.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah, but it's still comforting to people, you know, maybe a day old bagel, but people will still buy it because it's comfort. So that's Cynthia, our day old bagel with a, you know, with a John and Kate plus eight wig. So she's doing that. And then I think Shamia asked the better question. She's like, so you've been in the industry how long?
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And Drew's like, well, because Lord knows no one needs to hear that answer because it's going to be crazy, you know? And she's like, well, why Dennis though? If you know the industry so well, why would you be with Dennis?
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
No, she didn't even say washed out. She said washed. I died.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And they're like, yeah. And they're like, why are you saying that? Why are you saying that she looks washed? And Drew goes, well, you know, she's right, everybody. I didn't have any makeup on. And then they show a picture of Drew looking washed, and she has so much makeup on. I don't know what she's fucking talking about, but it's Drew, so it's a lie. And she's like, well, I said washed, okay?
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So anyway, and Britt's like, well, I don't know about anybody else, but I look good with no makeup. Britt, whatever they did to your nose, sue them. At least get some straws put in there. I mean, that girl has a roadblock in her nose. What did she do?
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
I'm like insurance and your nose looks great, but you cannot speak. I cannot listen to Brit talking. It's not even a cute name because, you know, I'm a fan of a of a. nasal voice. And my favorite voice on Bravo is that, really? But what do we do? Like, I love that kind of a voice, but she's not even that. It's just like they hacked off part of her nose and now she just sounds like that.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
We were honestly worried that that last show in Toronto, that was a classic recap of New York. And we thought, oh gosh, this is our third in a row. We're a little rusty. A couple of years have passed. I haven't fixed my Botox. It's like, are we even going to remember? We had so much fun. The audiences were so great. It was so...
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And it gets a part of my brain. It hurts a part of my brain.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Yeah, and she's like, and listen, I don't even care about that. And Britt's like, it seems like you care. And Portia's like, well, I was just scrolling, and I saw something about somebody in the studio, and I just made something for dinner. Because, you know, I have nothing to do with that. Like, I'm not dealing with that. So then we see headlines. Atlanta streets say Drew and Dennis are smashing.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And Portia is hot and bothered. Hot tea. Is Portia's baby daddy sleeping with Drew Sidora? And then we see a clip from Drew's new song.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Well, that is contacting you. This is 2025. Ain't nobody got time to call, okay? That is contacting you. So she's like, that's a text. And then Britt goes, that's not something you text. Oh, okay. Let me connect you over the phone.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So Drew's like, oh no, that wasn't something I was going to text. So let me just tell you from the beginning, it all started when I was opening for superstar Tamar Braxton.
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Tamar. I suck. Yeah. And Dennis reached out to my management. So my hairdresser put down that that wig he was about to clip into my hair. And he said, hello, Drew's management. How can I help you? And he wanted to do the official after party. So, you know, I said, Tamar, how do you feel about hot dogs?
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#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
Amazing to hug you guys and get to know you guys and just, I don't know, hear you. You know, we talk to you all the time, every day, literally our whole lives. But to get to see you and to hear you is just such a treat. So thank you for everybody who's coming to see the mounting hysteria tour. We are continuing. We're on a tear.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah. So then he's like, I worked out for this. Damn it. So then we get to the bands, and Harry, Anthony, Serena, and Vian are talking. And Serena's like, Harry, you had your plush, didn't you? And Vian's like, was there tongue involved? Come on, mate. And he's like, oh, I just, like, we made, it's like, can we carry on? No, but, like, and they're like, no, no, should we?
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
That's Harry, direct Harry. So then they get back to the boat and Harry's being chivalrous and helping Bree walk onto the boat because she's just a girl, you know? And then Lara and Harry are whispering and she's like, oh my God, she said she didn't expect it, but like she really enjoyed it and she thinks you're a great person.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
She instantly connected with your personality and all my eyebrows aren't wrong.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, Johnny wanted to. He's like, I want to stick it to the ceiling. And she's like, for the boop. He's like, yes, yes. So now it's time to go to bed. And Johnny is going to his room that he shares with Anthony and Harry, which is, that's too many. And Anthony's like, so where's Harry? And then he farts. And Johnny's like, did you just fart, bro? Don't worry. I like it.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So then in the boys' cabin, Harry's like, I mean, it's just ridiculous.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So then he sees Bree in the kitchen. So it's like the morning after. How's he going to be?
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
And then- And you can see her struggling not to tattletale. Right, because Serena knows that the captain thinks she's a mess, which is why she got a sous chef. So she doesn't want to look like a mess and be like, this guy's an asshole. So she's trying to not tell him.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So she's like, I think everyone really enjoyed themselves, especially the people who got the chance to smoke alone all night while they were having a nervous breakdown inside. Rattled their teeth. But it was great. And he's like, good. Good to hear it. Damn it. Yeah. It's time.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
It's also where you get our bonus episodes and our videos, which we are on today. If you want free videos, you can get them a week after they're released over on our YouTube. Watch what crappens. Well, what's going on with you today, Ben?
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
But he wouldn't commit, so I think it's not going to work out because he wouldn't even commit to saying that he liked techno. He was just trying to be like, whatever you like.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
you know do you like techno if you like techno i like techno i mean if it's playing i like i don't hate it do you like it i love it i love it do you love it i love it too he's very much that energy and she's just going uh-huh but i i don't know i don't see this one i think i don't see this one taken off no i was being sarcastic uh they're definitely not a forever couple and um really in any sort of flirtation the moment you ask do you like techno it's over it's done
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Well, if he had said something like, you know, I love ADM, but, you know, there are certain kinds I like, certain kinds I don't. I mean, David Guetta, that's songwriting. You know what I mean? Something. But to just be like, I mean, I could take it. I could leave it unless you like it. What do you think? Do you like it? I love it.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, just a cold brew. Hi, can I have a pash on ice with a little half and half? I know that people aren't doing that right now, but I am. Keep your fucking oat milk to yourself, okay? Hand over the pash.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, a few weeks ago. We were talking about romantic foods. My most romantic was butter.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So then I like that Vian was just like, Harry, I mean, come on, but there's still gorgeous girls on the boat. My plan is to see if there's chemistry elsewhere. I was like, wow, well, that's nice to hear. That's very unusual from below deck, you know? I know, right?
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
And then Vian's just like, sorry, Bree. Hey, goodbyes, but this one's on you. Goodbye. So then Johnny and Harry are talking and Johnny's trying to be bossy, but he does like Harry now. He likes the guys now. So he's trying not to overdo it. He's like, you want to start with small things like refill the drinks? And Harry's like, I wanted to get into the washing maybe. And he's like, okay.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
And I was like, wow, look at Johnny controlling himself. I thought Johnny would throw him off the boat and be like, you listen to me.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
But then we've seen him in the previews beating up the boat and screaming and being like, or whatever he screams in the preview. So we know it's coming. But yeah, so far he's controlling himself. But it turns out it was a different boat.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, and he tells us every galley is full of egos with shifts, but at the end of the day... You get nothing for nothing! And, you know, there's one head chef and there's a sous chef and he needs to step in line and she needs to take control. That's it. That's all I want to hear. So I can't wait to see how she's going to do it. Unfortunately, she does it like this.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Let's join below deck down under. So, you know, This one's pretty good because Below Decks was so good about giving us douchebags to shoot down, you know, and they really did with the sous chef.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, because he's obviously worked with some tough chefs in the past. And now that you're not doing it, he's like, oh, I'm going to be the alpha and I'm going to win. And it sucks. It sucks to have to kind of change your
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
your management style to fit somebody else because especially i think as a woman it's like well why why should you have to be a stereotypical man to get any respect like he should just respect you but unfortunately it just doesn't work he's just not so change gears you know what i mean no more kissy on the cheek and more get to fucking work you fucking loafer you're never gonna make it in this business you're too short
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
You know, abuse him. I've worked in many a kitchen. Listen, I've taken many a knife thrown at me, okay? And that's how it works. Sorry. I still respect that man. I see my last chef, and I wasn't even a chef in that kitchen. I was a waiter. And I'm still so scared of that man. Every time I see him, I'm like, hello, chef. Yes, chef. No, chef.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, it makes me crazy that his way of being better is by just dissing her behind her back the whole time. I think that's just so gross. And you know what? It's going to come to bite him because no one wants to work with that. No chef is going to see that and be like, oh, you know who I want in my kitchen? That guy who's just going to talk shit about me so he can try and take my job. Exactly.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Like, little prick, this guy. Yeah. Okay, that's enough about him. So now it's 7.15 a.m., five hours until charter, Marina's making beds, Bree has to clean irons, but she doesn't know how. Dun, dun, dun.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Well, that's also his wheelhouse because he wanted to make the focaccia, remember? So like breads are his thing. She's trying to play to his strengths.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, it's not a sous chef's job to write the menu. I mean, maybe in some places. I'm sure it works different in every place, depending on how many chefs you have in the kitchen or how many cooks you have in the kitchen and stuff like that and how much help you need. But in general, no, that's not his job.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So now we go to Harry and Vian, and Harry's asking if he can change rooms. He's like, can I move into your room? It's a huge fart. It's still in the other one. It's a Sioux fart. It's very, very, very, very, very bitchy. It's a very bitchy fart. It won't leave. His fart keeps telling my fart is better than it. And I just can't abide by that.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
He is, and I'm not even – usually I get some kind of a tinge of, oh, this person's really an asshole, but they're just pretending to be nice. Or like, oh, wow, he's too nice. I don't trust it. He's really an asshole. But I actually trust that he's nice. So I guess my question is to casting, have you given up? I mean, have you run out of terrible men? This is below deck.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
I know that normally I'm complaining about how many terrible men there are on this show, but you're below deck. You can't just change your flavor. Okay, New Coke. I'm like –
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
I've got an extra pep in my step. I kissed a girl. I kissed not only a girl, a model, and not some Instagram model, and some OnlyFans model, an actual tall person.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Okay, well let's remember that when he steals her back in about two seconds. And I don't even mean steal. I mean, she's probably gonna be like, um, hi, save me. just remember that he was very professional and nice to you, okay? Because I sense a lot of tears coming. So then we go to, say it again. If Harry comes back, Harry might die of thumb poisoning.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So then we go to Marina and Brie cleaning and Brie's like, do you think I should bring the kiss up to Harry? Shouldn't we talk about it? Why isn't he bringing it up? We need to talk about the kiss.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
But I like when my guys take initiative. Like, I mean, it was kind of amazing today when he said he kind of liked techno music. I mean, that was something, right?
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
It looks like Harry. I mean, maybe the guy's done more sit-ups and stuff, but it was exactly Harry. I think that Harry is her type. It's like a tall string beanie kind of a guy.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
I love that backstory for her. I like that she was like, I'm not marrying this fucking weirdo. I'm gonna be stuck in Jersey forever.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
I actually found this so refreshing that she was like, you know what? I had everything, and I was like, no. I want to vacuum a boat. Goodbye, mother. Goodbye, father. Goodbye, Sven.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
I'm so sorry. Let's stay on schedule here.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
It's a completely different time. The stars are in different places, Ben. Okay. So it's crew meeting time and it's preference sheet meeting. So here we go. Charter 2. Here we go. Is this robe making anyone uncomfortable? No. Kind of. All right. Well, just roll with it. I'll get a cotton one for next time.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Now, listen, Eric is an entrepreneur, investor, brand and performance transformation coach, which means douchebag. Does everybody understand?
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, and so far I like them because they're not asking for anything stupid, right? They're not like, we'd like a clown prom, a clown drag prom, you know? Yeah. So far it sounds normal. So day two, they want three of his guests. I don't know. And Jason's like, well, I might join. Oh, they're going to go diving. And Jason's like, well, I might join that dive party with Harry. Righto.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Thank you very much, everybody. Let's get to it. Douchebag alert. So at first I was like, maybe they're not so bad because they didn't ask for something stupid. And that's kind of my dream on Below Deck is to not have to sit through costume parties. I hate those.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
okay so they want to do like canapes cocktails at sunset before dinner so i thought if you want to go do you want to go and just get off the boat how about that and he's like yeah Okay, then. You're welcome. You're going to have a great time. And she's freaking out. Her mind is racing because she doesn't know how to manage this guy. And she just wants him to do his job.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
And it's too early in the charter season. And she wants Jason to see that she can manage. And she's like, I'm going to make sure we're better than we've ever been. Hit him. Mm-hmm. Hit him. That's it.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
You just want this too much. It's a little cringe to watch. You know, it's basically like Sabrina staring at a mailbox on Valentine's Day. I just need less cringe from you. All right. She's like, OK, got it. So she's going to change their positions to see how Marina does in service. And she's going to send Brie now down to Laundrie, right? Or it's the other way around.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
I needed, I was like, it was the strangest thing. I just got overwhelmed with rage. Well, I was super surprised that they even gave us the ending, because normally it's like a dun-dun-dun, and then we have to wait till next week, you know? But not this time. We got it all this time. So it was very good. So we start where we left off last time, which is the crew.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
And he gets a break while she's in there cleaning and cooking her ass off. So it's so ridiculous. I'm glad they put that all on camera too. While he's taking his break later, she's trying to get another job, mind you. She's in there cleaning her ass off his station. She's cleaning his station, which he left unclean. So shut up.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
He is purposely getting on the record that he's doing everything and she's doing nothing. And he's waiting until she goes into her room and she's on break and her hair is down that he can confront her on camera to make it look like she's a nothing, you know? And so she's like, and this, I loved this. I think this is the perfect way to deal with him.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
And she's like, oh, well, doing guest food is optional. So if you do it and that makes you happy, then you have to find the time to do it. So I love that because she's like, I'm giving you guest food because you were crying for the first 10 hours on the boat because I didn't give you anything to do. So now I'm letting you go.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
shine like what more do you do you don't get to just take over my job dude if you want to do that that's extra credit do your other shit first because that's what you're here to do so i like that and then she says would you rather we give the canapes the stewardesses and then you can go have a two-hour lie down she's basically saying you don't have to go to the beach
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
having their night out and serena has just been told by that messy messy little goofball harry that uh the sous chef is talking shit about her so she's like i'm gonna smoke and so she goes off to smoke but then no one joins her which i think hurts her feelings more because when you go off on below deck and people don't join you to smoke that's something because everybody gets somebody to join them smoking who smokes alone on that show everybody smokes
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, and she's like, it's not, though, because you're going to have breaks. So we're just getting through the first few charters, and you're going to be getting breaks. And he's like, okay, well, sorry for being neurotic. Sorry for that. Sorry for being so neurotic. She's like, all right. So Jason hears that, and he's like, keep an eye on that. Dun, dun, dun.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So then we see cleaning and prepping and all that good stuff. And then Anthony's on break. So the first thing he does is call his friend to bitch. And he's like, I'm not dead. I'm not dead and sad. Not a bit, in fact. I'm a little bit insulted. You know what I mean? I'm struggling to get on with that awkward character. She's just so awkward. I can't work like this.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Oh, you can't work with awkward people? Have you met yourself, weirdo? Yeah. He's around her door a little bit more, complaining that you can't put away a fish.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
i don't care if she is dirty it's his job to clean it up so if the kitchen is dirty that's on you so i don't know who you're complaining to so then harry is going to oh basically then he texts his friend because his friend is like a chef i think so his friend doesn't give a shit he's just like uh okay bye he doesn't care So then they hang up and Anthony texts his friend.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
He's like, do you know any boats hiring? I just don't think it's for me working here. So then we go to Harry and Vion's room and Harry loves the room. You know, there's less farts. So he likes it. And then we cut to Serena cleaning while guess what her sous chef is doing? Taking a break. Oh my God, the whores call the police.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So then main salon meeting and now the charter group is approaching. And Serena's like, oh, they're all very cool, aren't they? Because the guys are like, yeah, bros. Like, we work out. They're like lifting deck pieces, you know? It's like, oh, yeah, we're bros.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah. So they're like, wow, one of them is already red and he looks like he's sunburned. So they're kind of making fun of the crew already, or the guests already, which I like. And so they come on board and they get the tour and all that stuff. And Adair's like, oh my God, I'm so excited to have guests from the States.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Like the people in Georgia, like if I told them I was an entrepreneur and a life coach, they would look at me like I am talking crazy. And then I would throw a nipple cover at their face because who talks to me like that? I have 119,000 followers.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
She tells Jason on radio that she'll put it back up when she's done. So then she radios, instead of putting it back up, she radios Vian to do it. But Rihanna's pooping. So sorry, he doesn't hear it. So now it's time to depart the dock. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. But then the balcony's down. Why is the balcony open? Get somebody down there on the balcony immediately.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
And then poor Brie runs down to do it. It's Brie, right?
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Okay. So Vian's like, I'll keep my radio on next time. Sorry. So Vian's like, I don't know what the fuck she was thinking opening up that door. And Lara's like, yeah, balconies are a great feature to this tour, so of course I'm going to put the balconies down. I mean... And now she's taking all the blame for not telling anybody to put it away when she did, but nobody heard her.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So Harry's I love that they're leaning into Harry's cringe this season. It's so funny. He'll be like, no, I feel so sexy. And then it's just him like making that goofy, goofy face.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So she didn't cry, so that's good. Because, you know, she gets stressed easily.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, I think she was just being professional and not fighting over the radio because they were like under stress to get off the dock because, you know, they're all about to die, Ben. Come on. Yeah, that's true. It's not the time. But I hope it's coming later. And I don't think it ever came, which is really weird. So because I really expected more from Laura.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Like, I really expected some acid tongue from Lara, and she's not giving it to us yet.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, you got to get the calves, man. And so they're getting pictures, and he's like, no, I need you to get it where the boat's moving. It doesn't matter if you don't see the boat moving. Come on, Calden, or whatever his name is. He's like, come on, Colton. Jesus. Listen, this is a rock speaking to a Colton. Consider yourself lucky. Get the boat moving in front of my calves, okay?
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
And then he's like, so how much do I cut here? Because it's quite a bit. And she's like, well, everyone gets two legs. And he says, tentacles, right? Tentacles. She's like, oh, God, you know what I mean? You did a fuck.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Also, I have to say that I don't think that... I don't know that sous vide octopus and then put in the pan sounds very good. That sounds nasty and slimy to me. Just put it in the pan.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
I'm telling you, it's a season two bitch flower blooming. That's what's happening with Harry, and he's loving it. I love that when Harry laughs, he looks like pictures. You know when you go on a roller coaster and then you come down the roller coaster and they have a picture of you and you're usually like... That's how he laughs. He has that frozen in midair, terrified, but also giggling face.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah. So now it's water sports time. And then, what's her buns? Brie is going to be sent to the beach. And so now the people are going to the beach. And Serena's like, okay, you need to get going, Anthony. He's like, oh, God, I'm trying to put on my shirt. He's trying to put on one of those, like, wetsuit shirts thing.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Well, is it wetsuit material? Is that what it's made of? They made it look like it was like... It's just like... That's how I imagine the sound is putting it on. But I've never seen anybody else put it on with trouble, so I don't know.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah. So then they get to the beach and he's putting these canapes on kind of charcuterie boards. And so Bree's like, oh, are we going to put these on the table? He's like, no, no, it's canapes. So you put it on a board and serve it. And she's like, okay. But I can see why she asked that. Because that looked like a heavy ass thing to be passing. I was like, okay.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, I just didn't. I was like, don't treat her like she's stupid for asking. It's a big ass board. It's a heavy board. You know, here's a log. Pass that around. It's like.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Well, also I love that he's like, she's so basic. And then they're like, and now compressed watermelon. It's like, oh, wow. Congratulations.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So then back on the boat, Harry is putting the jet skis away, but then he starts struggling and then he starts yelling. He's like, oh my God, look down, look down, hook down, hook fucking down, look down here.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
and it's commercial break and when we come back he's been swallowed by a whale no just kidding he's dead yeah yeah he crushed his thumb actually he didn't just hurt it i mean this is nasty this is some nasty work showing us this i this was the worst thing that we saw in bravo since kristen takeman had a toenail a situation on girls trip
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, it was really gross. And so the doctor comes and basically the doctor's like, you don't have fingernail. You can get staph infections. I'll try. If it hurts, go to the hospital.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
She's like, do you like techno music? He's like, if you do, she's like, I'm done with you.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
You need better. You need a better facelift there. Find, find that self-help book. So then, um, uh, we go to the guests and they're coming back to the boat and Jason welcomes them back and all that good stuff. And Harry's being taken care of. And can he use his hand? And Harry's like, Well, I mean, I can use my hand, but it's going to be, like, hard. And so Vianne's like, oh, no.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
I'm quite worried about Harry and his thumb. He's in pain. This is really going to affect the team massively. He might be gone. Done, done, done. So now we're waiting to see if Harry's thumb is fractured. Yeah. Or if it just is completely crushed with this poor guy.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So then we go to the galley and Anthony's like, Oh, I guess I'm going to take some bins, mate. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. Oh, no. I forgot to take the bins out. And oh, God. Oh, no. The bag split. The octopus bag split. It might have to be off the menu tonight. The bag split and all the hot water got in and boiled it. And I shrunk it quite a lot. We're going to have to swap it with something else.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Oh, because you're a fucking superhero, Anthony. Wow. You're amazing, Anthony. The way you can do dishes and then still, you know, stand is just amazing when poor Serena is tired and you're not. Congratulations. Here's a fucking gold medal.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So she switches it out with a plantain and she decides to make it like kind of a side dish. So then Jason calls Vion to the bridge to ask about Harry. And Jason thinks that Harry might not be able to deal this, you know, but, you know, Harry should be at a level to know, but teach him and educate him along the way how to be safer.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So then the guests are getting ready for dinner and it's about time to eat. And we see the poor stews climbing 270 stairs to serve this food. And they do. And then we get Eric's prayer. The prayer of Eric Rock. He's like, I'm so blessed to be gifted with great looks and leaving a valuable mark in this world. The amount of people I've left with syphilis has been absolutely staggering.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Thank you, Lord. Life's really short. So stay on your purpose for the rest of the time. Amen, you guys. Thank you. The hot person.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Guys, hold on. P.S. This is a P.S. to God. God, I would like to pray for the poors because Tommy's are so big that it's hard for me to concentrate. Please fix his poors. He's going to look terrible on my Instagram. Thanks, bro. Amen.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So then we go to Johnny singing in Greece, in Greek. And he's like, life is what you do. He's singing songs from Zorba. And then he's like, Harry is very experienced, but there's something. We cannot push him to do stuff. And that's okay. I'll step up and take one for the team as well.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
My God, you're the one always bitching at her. What are you even talking about? And he said, did you get rest today? And you went, no. So, yeah, it is on you. So she's like, but I didn't say it's your fault. Is that how you feel? And he's like, yeah. At this point, I'm just a bit over it. I mean, Serena's not a great manager.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
And if I'm honest, I don't respect her as a chef and I don't feel like I'm being treated as a human. So I'm going to leave because I can't take any more of this bullshit. I hope he gets the most abusive chef of all time for his next chef.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Right. So now the next morning, Vihan wants to send Marina diving, right? So he's like, well, she has a driving course with Jason. Can she go? And she's like, okay, yeah, if you want to send her. But no one bothers to ask Lara, who's kind of the boss of Marina. So...
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Uh, I didn't even think about that when it happened, but I was like, damn, at first I thought, well, that's nice, you know, to give a Marina a chance to get off the boat. Um, but then later we find out it's not so nice. So then, um, the guests love their dinner and, um, uh, They're like, well, did you like the dessert? And the main guy's like, yeah, I mean, I'm rich. Oh, it was too rich?
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
No, I'm rich. Loved it. Thank you for making me rich.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So Eric goes to bed and then we go to Vian and Marina and he offers her the possibility of going on the dive. And she's like, fuck yeah, I want to go. What? What? And she starts like throwing around sheets. She's so excited to go. It's like a gorgeous man came to me and said, you want to go? You want to go dive? Fuck yeah, I do. Gorgeous man. I don't care. I'm just a woman.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
I didn't know that she could do that. That's cool. He's like, then fire him. She's like, oh, well, I don't know. I want to see how he is tomorrow. I'm going to try the hello darling approach and see if that works. And so he's like, yeah, you know, it doesn't matter how good you are as a sous chef. You know, he's disrespectful. So I think this is the wrong guy.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Or he's like, clean, clean, all I do is clean.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Misogyny, the musical. So then Harry and Lara are talking, and also Harry, Lara, and Vian are talking. And so they're just making small talk and stuff. She's like, oh, God, Marina had a great day in housekeeping today. He goes, yeah, I've sent her for diving tomorrow. And she's like, who? He goes, Marina, you know. And she goes...
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So then Marina senses that something's wrong with her. But she's like, she just wanted to smoke. And Harry's like, yeah, don't know why.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
She needs to at least be like, yeah, that's my department. You can't take people from my department without asking me, please don't do that again or something. But she's just like. I'm just going to bite my tongue. And I was like, okay, well then swallow the rage, but let it build. Please do not let the rage go.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
I need the rage to build and build until you scream and yell and then become super, super mean and sarcastic and snarky for the rest of your years on this show. Thanks.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Well, I hope you don't mind, but I have styled all your boys this morning with eyeliner, lip liner, and lipstick, because what deck crew is complete without lipstick? You'd be like, excuse me, that's my crew.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So he does. He's like, it hurts too much. I think it's fractured. So he has to go to the hospital. So then Anthony comes into the kitchen.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
And everyone just ignores it. Because at the end of the day, there's food here. And so Anthony's like, you're the one who had the fish, right? And he's like...
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Fractured. So Anthony's like, good morning. And she's like, hello, darling. So I think the other morning it worked quite well with you doing the sausage and bacon, the fruit platter. He's like, whatever. She's like, okay then. So now he's doing the, I'm breaking up with you. So I'll just make you happy in the interim sort of a thing.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
So then Harry and Jason are talking and that's when he has to go to the hospital. Okay, so then the guests are doing pushups on the deck and they're like, oh my God, another one sees a guest doing pushups. He's like, oh yeah. And he jumps down and starts doing pushups. Just like a wolf. Just like wolves do. Yeah, just like wolves do.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
And then the girl's like, not doing pushups, but I will stand at the edge of the boat and do this with my hands. Really big. And she starts, like, pushing up her hands into the air. So it's a fucking boat of weirdos.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
He's like, guys, it's just like the famous meme of like the wolf who's sitting on the couch eating ice cream. It's like wolf moment. It's a wolf moment, guys. Thankfully, I'm hot.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, and then we cut to Eric solving very important things relating to self-confidence and improving yourself in the world. He's like, can I do a triple shot latte with just a little bit of oat milk? As long as it's under 20 calories. Wolves do not drink full cups of oat milk.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, so she's pissed, obviously. And then she goes to tell Jason. And she's like, yeah, he said, for you, I'll do the next two charters, like telling me. And I mean, I've been so professional. I've been so calm. I've been so understanding. I haven't cried. I haven't hugged him too hard. Any of the things that are on the list of things that I would normally do, you know how I did.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
You haven't followed her. You haven't followed him around the city. I haven't followed him around the city. Thank you. I have enjoyed his Instagram under different names, you know, trying to convince him to like that cute chef in the kitchen, Serena, you know.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
I haven't done the thing where I roll my stomach up and start talking to him in baby voice and saying, we've got this today. We've got this. I haven't done that.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Hold on, let me change into my power robe.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
I'm just going through his luggage while I've got the chance, all right? I've resisted so far. I'm just putting a Valentine's Day. It says, no matter what happens, I'll always love you, my dear, darling, little fruit maker, all right? All right, coming down. Anyway, this isn't a power move.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
And Anthony's just like... So, yeah, it was nice to see him fired by the end of the episode. I thought we'd have to wait, but it was good. I love cheering at the end of the episode, you know?
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, he's the worst. And I hope they get another Sue because I do like the dynamic of having a Sue there. So I hope they replace him. But farewell, fucker. Well, that brings us to the end of Below Deck Down Under, everybody. Hope you're having a wonderful day today. We'll be back later today with a Traders recap, and we'll be back tomorrow with a little Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Welcome to Crappens! Don't wait a week for a new video. Join our Patreon at the Crappens On Demand level for instant recap access. Link in description. Enjoy the show! Well, hello, and welcome to What What's Wrapping, the podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Yield Robs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. What's going on? Nothing. Hi, everybody.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Go get your Mounting Hysteria live show tour tickets over at watchwhatcrappens.com and everything else over at Patreon. We love you. We'll talk to you next time. Bye.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C, Dana Do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yes, we can-a. It's Savannah.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
You know, that's kind of like, that's, that's, this is, we're into this one. I know. I was like, I hope the show has come this far where we finally get this storyline. And I know that there have been gays on there, but we haven't really had any gay storylines. Not really. There have been some like... I don't know. What have we even had on this show?
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
She ain't no shrinking violet couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Oh, yeah. So we've had a gay makeout. But come on. We need a little more. It's 2025. Yeah. Yeah, I need some like closeted Greek action.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah. So and also Vion sleeps naked, which pretty bold. I mean, you're on camera the whole time, but he's naked. So I was into that. You know, it's a good it's a good season for the boys so far. Not to be a pervert, but I mean, you have what you have. You know what I mean? Okay, so they're talking boys and girls and Johnny jokes about Harry. Okay, so they're all laughing.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Then we go to the girl's car and Serene is like, oh my God, so far the instant was Vian. I mean, wow. And they're like, oh yeah, smile. Out of this world, Vian. And then back to the guys. Vian's like, I like Brie. I like Brie's smile. It's just so beautiful. And Harry's like, oh, you like Brie? Yeah.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
and harry knows what has just happened a guy has placed his mark and that's usually it once somebody says on the show i like them that's it you're supposed to back off the person boy or girl that's generally how the rule works on this show well harry has decided he doesn't care which yeah you know good for him because it's always made me crazy that it's like the first person to call
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
It's like shotgun, you know, shotgun. And then you automatically get the front seat. No, I wasn't prepared. So we'll pull you by the hair and grab you out of the front seat, throw you in the trunk and I'll sit in the front. And you can call that unfair all you want to. But I'm just a slower speaker.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
No kidding. You're also on the wrong fucking show, man. To be like, I'm here to find a wife. This isn't The Bachelor. This is Below Deck. You are here to find some temporary putete. And that's it. That's all I want to hear from you. What does he think he's cast on?
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, these are people running away from their children that they dropped in Alaska and their heroin addictions. This is not for you to find a wife. You know what you're here to find? A maid. I'm here to find a maid. If I'm on Below Deck, I'm going to say I'm here to find a maid.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
We have the exact same coloring. I just can't get over it. Do you see it now? They both have the exact same color skin and hair. It's just confusing to me. It looks like they were colored by the same Wii character designer. And I don't know why it bothers me, but it does. I just feel like that's the most tenuous reason to like somebody is because they're the exact same hair shade as you.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Welcome to the show. It's Below Dick Down Under Day. All right. So welcome. Crypto Bros. Crypto Bros Edition. And we're excited. We're also on tour. The Mounting Hysteria Tour is in your city soon. Here's what's coming up in March. I'll just list the cities real quick. We are going to Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, D.C., Philadelphia. And that is for March.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Because it's an odd hair shade, you know?
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, it's kind of like a brown crayon, but like with some copper in it. I don't know what you would call it.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Well, you know, some people like goofballs. You know, I mean, maybe some people just have that desire for a mate that they know is going to be good at like skeeball. Don't you think that's Harry? He definitely has Dave and Buster's energy. He definitely has like whack-a-mole energy or like, I can squirt.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
And she goes, yeah, we do that. Let's do that together. Shall we, Harry? Are your eyebrows on weird? Stop looking at me. All right. So then we go to Captain Jason. He's walking around the boat in like some silk. Not Hugh Hefner. What would you call it? I would call it like a silk, like retired in Palm Springs lounge singer robe.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Yeah, they're giving him this whole, like, I'm a sex kitten edit this year. I mean, I think he's a sexy guy and everything. I guess they give it to Captain Lee, too, where they're like, the stud of the sea or whatever. Or when they give Captain Sandy her, like, look, I've got polyesters I'm dancing in. Whatever her edit is. I don't know what her edit is. Is it sexy or is it like...
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
I don't know, efficiency. I'm into hugs. Hugs. But anyway, they're giving him the sex kitten thing and he's buying it. He's now buying it and he's in full sex kitten swing.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
Unfortunately, I can't get to my child because I crashed into the dock in the Philippines and no one's been able to dock there ever since.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
It was like, we're drunk in a bar. We're dancing together. You kissed me. Okay. We're drunk. So I'm not going to slap you. I kind of got out of it. But then it turns out she was like, wow, he kissed me. You know, so she's going to go with it. So now they go back to the van. Meanwhile, the Greek dude is like, I may not be good at keeping boats, but I can dance.
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#2733 Below Deck Down Under S03E03: Sous You, Sous Me
We're also going to be on tour in April and May. So check watchwhatcrappens.com for ticket links and your city. Also, we did Crappy Hour last night. That's our biweekly live show. It was so fun. And if you want to join us, that's every other Monday at 530 Pacific Time on our Patreon or our YouTube channel. Just free. Both of those events are free. And it's also where you get Patreon, that is.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Also, Traders Recaps are up on Tuesdays over at Patreon. And that's also where you get video recaps like this one today. Hi. If you don't want to pay for Patreon, we totally get it. You can watch videos a week after they're released over at YouTube. Just join our YouTube.com. You know, it's a very big channel on the internet. Just find Watch What Crappens over there.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
What do you mean? I don't know. Maddie knew when she needed to be there. And she's like, well, I was there though. So it's like, you're saying I wasn't there, but I was there. So Joe's like an hour late. Like we needed to warm up. Like I needed to see your mouth go. And you didn't do it.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Try it again, young one. The spirit of Luann's like, wrong grasshopper.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
And that's just how it is. That's how it is. And she's like, well, sometimes it's just not about y'all. And then we get us. Listen, you guys keep poking at her. She showed up. You can't yell at the woman for getting there on time. She did get there on time. She got there on time for her song. I'm on Team Grace Lily for this.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Listen, it is $12.99 an hour to take this. I'm sorry. It's changed over to the Maddie Reese. Listen, Maddie Reese is in town right now.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
They're like 20 pounds. It did not. It didn't just happen overnight. That makeup. It took a very long time.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So, you know, they're all mad. They're all like pretend mad at her because no one's shocked. You know what I mean? And so he's like, you're an hour and a half late. Let's say sorry or something. And she's like, when you're a guest, you pop up as a guest. So that's what I did. Surprise. I'm a guest. It's me.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So Maddie goes, they're all looking at Maddie to have a fight. They're like, listen, we're in Vegas and literally nothing has happened. So let's do something. And so Maddie just goes, you showed up. She goes, thank you. But I mean, if you didn't, I wouldn't be surprised. And she's like, I wouldn't do that. I would never, ever do that.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So they're like, well, let's just make a choice to pop in that. Okay. You can still be wavy. Okay. Didn't mean to come in and attack you, Grace Lilly. That was rough. I know that was like a rough moment in your life. So I hope it's all good now. Yeah.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
They really it was so funny. They're just like having so much fun in Vegas that they're forgetting that they have to shoot a show. Like, OK, well, we need to fight. We haven't really earned our free hotel room. So, Will, you're up. And he's like, oh, there's something I want to address at the table. Objection sustained. Thank you, Your Honor. That was all me. Yeah.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Um, I've said things that were very critical of our relationship, you know, mine and Emmy's and, uh, you know, I have so much regret about that because, you know, Emmy and I discussed it ourselves and we're working on it. And it's something I feel a lot of shame about mostly the her being too thin and anorexic and like full of herself. Like that's really rough. I'm sorry. Did I say that? Yeah.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Like, seriously? And Emmy just starts that hair-pulling thing. I'm like, oh, no, Emmy. Emmy, stay calm, Emmy. Stay calm. She's like, uh.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yeah, it was Michaels who really did it. And she's like, me and Michaels, it was good. And he's like, I don't know, because I feel like you kind of gave me the runaround.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
We watched you doing this to your best friend or one of your best friends, What's-Her-Buns, L-O-Fucking-L, Maddie, all last season. So you don't get off that easy. I mean, this was your whole storyline last season was coming for her relationship. And so it's your turn. So just enjoy it. You know, calm yourself. And TJ is like, wow.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
I mean, what was the one who said all these things about his girlfriend? Not me. I mean, I have, but I'm not dating her. So like, who cares? So back to the restaurant, Emmy is like doing the hair thing again. And Will's like revisiting it. Us doesn't help us. So I have feelings hurt that are, I have feelings that are hurt and I want to express that.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
That was a really fun one. We talked all about Potomac and other stuff. So join us over there. Here we are with Southern Hospitality, Not Pretty in Sin City, Season 3, Episode 7.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yeah, like if you really want to heal me, maybe you could blow me like you blew Joe. I mean, I'm sorry. Did I say that out loud? Have we already talked about that? That was last week. It was a very meaningful scene. And so Leek's like, well, Leek, Leek. Her name is Leek. She's like a delicious, mild onion. Leek is like, wait, a Leek's not an onion, is it? A Leek is an allium.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yeah, it's like an anise flavored.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So, Cousin of an Onion is like, what about the cheating allegations? Because everybody's hearing it. Just tell them what you told me, Austin. Speak already. God, old people.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
His little brother went on Reddit and was like, I'm Will's little brother, AMA. Ask me anything. And so people were like, is this true? Is all this stuff true? And he's like, no, I love my brother. He's an amazing brother. And Emmy, hold on. Emmy what? What do you want me to do? Emmy loves, Emmy has great hair and she conditions it regularly. They're like, wait a minute, are Will and Emmy there?
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
He's like, yeah, just to make sure this doesn't go off the rails. Well, what the hell kind of AMA is that? Yeah. What's Will giving you? Weirdo.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
No offense, little brother. Love you. I believe in you. So Austin, Will's like, I'm not concerned about rumors. So Joe is like, hey, say the whole thing. You did not say the whole thing, Austin. Say the whole thing or Maddie Reese is not going to work with you again. And so Lake's like, spit it out, man. We don't have all day, old man log lifter.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Damn it. Can I do that again? There's just too many words in this song.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
And he's like, well, she also said that you fucked a girl in a bathroom.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So Austin's like, yeah, apparently they hooked up in a bathroom, but it got worse because then they said that he'd actually been fucking a bunch of different girls. And then Mae's like, huh, what's your name? What's your name? What is it then? What's your name? It doesn't count if you don't tell me your name. I mean, if you don't tell me your name, how am I supposed to do this?
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Girl wants you to mention it. And she wants you to bring on her on TV to confront them about it. The producers just won't let her on. Who are you kidding? So then Emmy is like, where's the evidence? Where's the proof? What the fuck? There's nothing we can do. There's nothing we can do. They're coming. Everywhere I turn, they're there. They're there.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
And Will's like, no one's going to believe me anyway, babe. And Grace Lilly's like, I believe you. I believe you and I respect you. And as soon as you need to walk away, just walk away. Do what Jesus did when Bob Marley took down his pants. And wait a minute.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
And then he's like, the birds, the birds won't stop coming. They won't stop going. Oh my God. He doesn't cheat on me. Like I'm psychotic. Like I'm psychotic. What am I nuts? Like I know everything about him. It's not true. It's not true.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Oh, I literally shit in my pants right now.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
because we see that she just does this like every five minutes you know so he's like i think that emmy has a five-year plan for her and will so like anytime will gets called out she sees like another year added to that plan it's just like so sad and then we see clips of emmy being like And then by 2027, I see ourselves with a baby and married and house, a house, house with a roof.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
There's pipes coming out of the roof. There's little pipes going down the side in case it rains. And it's going to go down the roof and it's going to collect in a pipe. It's going to water a garden, a garden that our children play with.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
And Grace Lilly's not there. And I don't know. Everybody's starting to get offended. But nobody's more offended than TJ. Of course, TJ's like, it's pretty slap in the face. It's like pretty slap in the face if she doesn't show. That's actually the name of one of my wieners. Slap in the face. I know.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
You also started the conversation, weirdo. So everybody's like, that's a song comfortable. And Will's like, I'm out of here. So they leave. And then it's really quiet for a minute. And then everybody's looking at each other. And Austin goes, is this CrossFit?
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So they just were all wasted last night. That's the that of that. So then we go to Grace Lilly in Austin's and Grace is like, hey, I got more coffee from the room. And he goes, you got more coffee? She's like, yeah. He goes, where'd you get more coffee? And she's like, the hotel. I called them. He's like, you're fucking amazing, Grace Lilly.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yeah, and I like that one of them's like, wow, now you can see your wiener while you're playing with your wiener. So then we're talking about Will and the girlfriend again. It's so boring. So then we go, just because it's like every single day, they just need to catch this fucking guy. I need Mia to just get a hidden camera and find his ass. And find who he's cheating with.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yeah. So then we see the after dinner blow up with Will and Emmy. And they're just like, it's just like with us, no one believes us. She's like, yeah. And he's like, everyone believes I would cheat and I would never cheat. She's like, yeah. He's like, we're a power couple. She's like, yeah.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So they're in bed and Will has a legal pad because he's a lawyer. And she's like, yeah, last night was insane. It was just like nuts. Like everyone's coming for me all the time. He's like, I just don't know what to say anymore. It's like this group is like a pack of hyenas. And we're the rotten carcass that they just want to devour. Our relationship is great.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Okay, I'm going to breakfast with the boys. Bye. Lisa, she's like.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
so Maddie's like I was very aware of the risk that I took when I gave Grace Lilly this chance to further her musical career but I did it anyway oh my god how are you how is your musical career ever gonna recover from some rando not showing up to sing la la la la in sync with the album at this pool party in Vegas how are you gonna recover Sondheim
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
And Tito's like, um, but you know why everyone thought that, right? He's like, are we in Looney Tunes? Like, hello. So then we go to the poolside and Maddie and Emmy are talking shit about Wait, oh, well, Mia and Maddie are talking shit. Like, can you believe last night? I'm like, God, I can't believe it either. And then Emmy walks up. And it's like, oh, hey, Emmy, hey. I know.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So do you feel better about addressing the group? Because, like, I feel like I'd be so embarrassed about what was even talked about. And I would, like, look at my boyfriend. I'd be like, what the fuck, Will?
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
And Maddie's like, oh, okay. Well, did you even ask Will if it's true? She's like, it's not true. It's not. It's not true. So then back to the restaurant, TJ's like, um, like, The biggest part is like the accusations. Like, is this true? And Will's like, no. Okay, here's what happened. Austin's girlfriend, wait, Austin's girlfriend's brother goes to law school.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
And then he bullied me at orientation because that's how lawyers are. They're like, look, guys, it's a smarter lawyer than us. Get him. And they got me in the parking lot and they beat me. And then they made it up that I was having sex with somebody. Really?
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Our parents all suck at the end of the day. That's the point. Thank you, John Hughes. And he's like, yeah, he's bullying me. Like he's going into law school orientation. He's like, what's up, Bravo bro. And so like I'm being Bravo bullied and they're otherizing me. That's what this is. I wasn't like gay and I wasn't like a POC. So they just had to make something up. So now they call me Bravo boy.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
And it's just like, I'm like you, this guy, the smartest thing he said here was, to me, it's like they're just reiterating the rumor from last year. Like they saw me on TV. So they're like, he cheated on his girlfriend in a bathroom. And now people are still saying that like it's a current rumor. If he had said that, I think that people would have been like, oh, that makes sense.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Unless some thirsty, and also if he hadn't talked shit about his girlfriend at the beginning of the season.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yeah, so then we go back to Emmy, and Emmy is doing the same thing. She's like, guys, someone just has a vendetta against Will. I mean, that's just all it is, you know? Like, you guys, law school is different than regular school. They're, like, really competitive. They're really mean. They object to things a lot.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yeah, so everybody's like, bullshit. That's some bullshit. So Mia's like, oh, wait, so you're telling me this young man in law school, besides studying all day, is making up rumors about Will and Emmy? I mean, come on. So nobody believes this. And then we go back to TJ, and TJ's like, So how do you feel about you and me right now then?
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
And Will's like, well, I think we're going to work through it because we've been friends for a really long time. I just want to keep moving forth. That's how lawyers say it. I want to move forth.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Will's hot dog is going to be called who? New hot dog. Who dis? Who dis? Uh, so then now they're getting ready to go to dinner. This show is really running on fumes right now. They're going to need something to happen because this is like episode seven. It is still about the stupid relationship. So now they go to dinner and, uh, and he's like, Oh my God. Like, I'm so excited to go to dinner.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Cause the rumors were totally shut down. Like everybody knows now law schools are mean places. So hopefully I can just enjoy dinner.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
This is just like when Pavrotti didn't show up to the Grammys and Aretha Franklin had to sing a song instead.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
They have oysters and they're like, Grace Lilly, don't have those because they're an aphrodisiac. Remember how horny you were last night? You were trying to make out with Brad. And then we cut to the night before and she's jumping on Brad and she goes, put it in my pussy.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
If you're going to that shaman, you don't have a lot of wisdom. Molly goes, yeah, that man is scamming her. Wisdom is chasing her, but Grace Lilly runs fast.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yikes. So then Joe is like, oh, that's an amazing trip. Like, TJ, like, I feel like I'm getting your trust back. Love you for that. And now they're going to play a game. Michaels brings it up because he's the noob. So he's like, okay, let's play a Bravo game. Go around the table and say who you trust the least.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
I love that that's her answer. Her answer is like, I'm the most trustworthy.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So Molly goes, Grace, I would never trust you. And she goes, whoa, for you to say that, that is so rude. And Michaels is like, whoa, this turned like crazy.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yep. So then we, Maddie's freaking out. Well, not freaking out, but everybody else is. So now the rest of the cast is heading over to the DJ table and they're like, yeah, Maddie. And Joe's like, that's my girlfriend over there.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yeah. So Maddie's like, okay, last year, Oisin was roommates with me and my best friend, Eva. And Oisin and Eva were like a thing. And Grace is not allowed in my house right now because she slept with Oisin. And it's a huge deal because Eva's my best friend and Grace is my best friend. And this has caused turmoil in my girl club.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
And how are you going to fuck Oisin and then get mad that somebody else fucked Oisin? That's what Oisin is. You can't get mad at somebody for riding the same lime scooter that you rented on your iPhone 10 minutes ago. That's what they're there for.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So then we see a flashback of Maddie, Joe, and the housemates talking about Grace hooking up with O'Sheen and her supposedly denying it. And then Joe's like, yeah, Grace is unreliable, causes mayhem in our lives, and I can't enable this anymore. I don't see Maddie getting anything from having a relationship with Grace.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Okay, Joe, you know, you seem like a nice boyfriend and everything, but you need to back down. You can't be bodyguarding Maddie. You're not her agent.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yeah, so this is the part we've all seen in the preview, and we're like, oh my god, did they secretly get married? No, they didn't. He was just like, I want a commitment ceremony, and I thought it would be wild. So they go to the Elvis Chapel and pretend to have a wedding. And Grace Lilly starts crying like it's a real wedding.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So they do this Elvis thing. And I guess it's cute. But yeah, they need some stuff to happen on this show.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
It's not going to happen. She's leaving you. But I will say it's interesting that on this show, most shows kind of rely on the trip to make things pop. And this show doesn't need the trip. This show, I was like, no, they need to be at work. I don't want to watch these people dancing. I need to see them at work getting mad about...
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
And so much of this cast is new. I think that they don't have enough mess with each other to be fighting about on trips, you know, and you need that. So maybe like in a year or two, but. I still love this show. But yeah, I just need to see them. I don't like seeing them lean. I like to see them clean. Get back to cleaning.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
All right. See you later, everybody. Bye. Bye.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Classic marbles. You know he got that from Luann. Luann was like, get over here. You either start popping off or I'm popping you. You little fucker, get over here. I'm wasting my time.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
the bay area betches betches and our super premium sponsors she's vvip it's amanda v somebody get us 10 cc's of betsy md she's got a leg up it's beth annie we're taking the gold with brenda silva let's get real with caitlyn o'neill don't get salty with christine pepper can't have a meal without the emily sides
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
I'm going to parm Nana. That's it. It's creepy, but it works.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So then Molly's like, Grace is an idiot. You can't even show up on time for your best friend's set. I mean, what are you even doing in this life?
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So then back to the club, Grace Lilly finally gets there and she comes to the cast and she's like, come on, guys. Come on. We need to get hyped up. We're already hyped up, Grace Lilly. How are you an hour late? I didn't know I had to be here at a certain time. I just thought it was like kind of a come when you come.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
He's like, we told you sound check was at 1. She's like, well, but I had sound at 1.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yeah, you're not one of those, okay? Sorry, you're not one of those. I would barely wait on you, and I was a waiter for like 40 years.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
And Maddie's like, you were late, Grace Lilly. That is crazy. This is a record, okay? It is a record that will be played in a certain order.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Hey everybody, it's Grace Lilly. Grace, right? Am I right? It's Grace Lilly. So everybody cheers. And then the song Poppin' It starts playing it. And starts playing. And Grace is just very badly lip syncing because, of course, this is all tracked. You're not going to sing live in a DJ set anyway, are you? I mean, I guess some people do, but not Grace Lilly. No.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Welcome to Crappens! Don't wait a week for a new video. Join our Patreon at the Crappens On Demand level for instant recap access. Link in description.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Which is smart. It was very smart. But it's also, you know, I mean, she doesn't get enough credit because not only can she not sing, but she also can't move to the rhythm of the beat. Listen, bring your hula hoop. Where's your hula hoop? I mean, I just feel like her mom's at home. Like I trained her so hard with that thing. And now she's just shitting it all down the toilet for what? For what?
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yeah. No one will talk to me here. Well, watch me hula hoop.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
i did really think about that oh wow i'm so proud of madi like i can't believe the way she pressed play on her laptop it was just like so amazing and uh then the club promoter's like hey guys great job that was like the best we've ever seen in vegas like seriously we've never seen a better dj in vegas i'm just like oh my god dude thanks so much for that he's not complimenting you miss kardashian sit down chris
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Broths. I'm Ronnie, that's Ben. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Good. It's Southern Hospital Day. How else could I be but wonderful? Everybody, we're on tour. The Mounting Hysteria Tour coming to your city soon. Listen up.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Now listen, if you ever need a bat mitzvah or bar mitzvah, okay, we're not picky. Mitzi, Mitzi Leibovitz is the way to go. She started here. Tell your 13-year-old, Mitzi Leibovitz began here.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Have you ever heard Papa Can You Hear Me remixed with Stop, Stop, what was that? Get out of my dreams and into my car. Then you haven't heard of Mitzi Bot.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So then the cast is cheering for her and stuff and Brad and Lake are making out. And Molly's like, wow, when Brad friendzoned Lake, it definitely got into her head. And now she's like trying to reel him in so she can friendzone him. That's a girl boss right there.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yeah. So now they're back at the hotel and they're going to have disco cowboy night. So they all have to go get their disco stuff on and Molly's going to go take a titty pit. And in the presidential, Emmy and Will walk in with Mia. And Mia's like, oh my God, smells like sex in here, guys. And Will goes, huh, no. I'm a lawyer, so.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
She didn't need to be there on time. And Austin's telling her, wow, I was really shocked that that song was like so good. And she goes, well, you know, she has people to help her. It's not like she's doing it all on her own. Oh, okay. That's a better context. Unlike Whitney Houston, who just sat there on her TASCAM and recorded every single song on her own. Excuse you, ma'am. Have some respect.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
And meanwhile, Brad is like, yeah, Joe's like really obsessed with Maddie, huh? And TJ's like, yeah. Well, I think that Joe needs someone in his life that is constantly succeeding because he's looking to like move up. And that's her. Jesus, are you a good friend at all ever? Is anybody on this show ever just a good friend to each other? These people are terrible. And I hope they last 20 seasons.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
In March, we'll be at the... Sorry, I was reading the wrong month. I was like, wait, we're going to be in Boston? No, that's the following month. In March, we're going to be in Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, Philadelphia. Go get your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com, as well as other dates and ticket links there.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
That's true. He didn't mind when Joe was taken off his shirt to slap himself with some Sir Wieners.
Watch What Crappens
#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
No one's paying attention to us. It's not about you. Get in the center and cheer. What the hell? Yeah. Yeah. So then they're talking with Mia about group dynamics. And Will's like, you know, it's, like, really hard being here with these people because, like, they've been nothing but horrible to me.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
She's like, um, people need to know that you're a good boyfriend to Emmy because right now what's on the table is that you're not. Okay. And that is from a fifth place, miss whatever. So get it together. And he's like, it's not really my style though. She's like, okay, well, if you need to suck up then, and you need a bathroom to do it in, we'll all go to the bathroom. Okay.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
Yeah. It's like, I don't want to give them that pleasure. Well, the whole point is that you're giving too many people pleasure in bathrooms. The least you could do is say sorry to the friends. Okay. And then I feel bad because he's stuck in this Amazon disco shirt because I bought the same one years ago to try on for some stupid, probably for the crappies. And I was like, even I can't wear this.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
I mean, this is just terrible. It's made out of plastic. And then he wears it the whole time. So I felt kind of sorry for him. But then I remembered it was Will.
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#2732 Southern Hospitality S03E07: Grace Land
So then people are getting ready for the disco party, and it's time. Lake needs somebody on areola duty, guys. Her nipple's showing. Boss bitch! So then we go to Red Tail Restaurant, which is Will's, like, looking around for a communist to bang in the bathroom. He's like...
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah. Well, he's like, well, I can't sing and dance well, but I ended up doing high school's musical. And I do musicals in high school, rather. Sorry. And I'd call it a brief soiree into song and dance. And then we see shots of him. He played Abraham Lincoln. He played Johnny from Dirty Dancing. I mean, you guys, this guy's had a very varied career. His IMDb is huge. Yeah.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
know posing they have a mustache on or like a monocle uh and you know why he's like bored of drama queens doesn't explain a lot like he doesn't fall for danny's because he's been with drama queens he's a theater kid ultimately i mean and you know a straight guy in theater is crazy right and i mean in high school it's less crazy but they get a lot of they get a lot of vajayjay because there's not there's a lot of gays you know and so when you find a straight you jump on it even the gays do even we do you know
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
I love watching True Detective, and I actually haven't seen the Jodie Foster season, so I'm starting that tonight. I'm so excited to get into that.
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So, yeah, and he's used to the drama queens and that's why he is immune to Danny's bullshit, which I think it was a very, very explanatory segment for sure. Yeah.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So one man Oklahoma, if you will. My one man death of a salesman really, really brought down the house.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So he's like, well, maybe somebody got a handjob, you know. So then Daisy's like, well, we can do that after dinner. But I love that idea.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Especially when it's told by a full cast like that. Like it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Go to audible.com slash crappins and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's audible.com slash crappins.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So then we go over to the leader in the galley and he's like, what are you doing about pizza making? I'm Italian. You're making pizza. And of course, it's like when they get back from the club, they want pizza. Bloody fucking hell. Fresh pizza for five in the morning. Crazy. I'm Italian.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And Cloyce is like, so do you guys have like your own style of pizza? He's like, oh yeah, North Italy is like a thicker dough.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Rolf always gets laid. I've done Sound of Music so many times, probably like three times. I was going to say four. I think three times I've done it. Every single time Rolf got laid. Well, except one time in high school. I wasn't at the high school, but I was a high school age. It was at the community theater, so there were kids in it, you know, because of Sound of Music.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And Rolf and Liesl were brother and sister in real life, but everyone still thought they were fucking. How fucked up is that? Yeah. I still think they were.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Incest and incest and incest and incest.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Literally every single thing on the list is incest. Incest and incest and incest and incest. The guy's getting a little repetitive. Well, have another sibling for me then.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
You've got two sisters. Why do you always have to sing about that one? All right, Mum, I'll change it up. Incest and incest. I guess that was my bad. It's still incest, isn't it? All right, well. May I try it? Pizza dough and pizza dough and pizza dough and pizza dough. I had sex one time with a pepperoni pizza with brothers with a pepperoni pizza. And we all did a threesome.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Brawls.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Incest and incest and pizza. I'm incest. You found a way to switch it up, mate. Good for you.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Brown paper packages tied up in string. That was a low bar.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Whiskers on kittens is good. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. She goes into the UPS store and she's like, oh, yeah. These are a few of those things that I masturbate over. Brown paper packages, instruments, and an incest. Is there a pizza dough in the brown paper packages? Literally everybody has turned this off.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Legs. Random legs. Just like legs. That's their whole thing. No one really on this show can make a good multi-lyric song for that version of that song. Okay, so legs and legs and legs and legs, legs. It's like jellyfish. Come on, jellyfish.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So in Crewmas, Danny and Deanna are discussing the night's schedule with Daisy. So Deanna's like, so you'll have three hours of break? No. She's like, yeah, because I'm going to be awake till five until they get back in at least, so I have to stay up till five. So Daisy, am I correct in saying I have to stay up till five? And she's like, no, you'll probably be down about two.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And then Deanna, you can go up at five serving snacks, and then when I get off, you go back to bed. She's like, but you just got a three-hour break.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yes. She's mad that she has to wake up early in the morning to serve them at 5 in the morning when she didn't get the three-hour break like Danny.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Welcome, everybody. I'm Ronnie. And that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good, everybody. Thanks so much for being here. Welcome to Below Deck Sailing Day. We have just announced Dallas, Texas tickets for our tour, our Mounting Hysteria tour, which begins January in San Francisco. So go get your tickets, because guess why?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
I literally, literally built this boat with these hands.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So Daisy's like, I got to the position I'm in now by doing what I was told with a smile on my face. You did not. There is no proof of that. I don't think there's a witness in history who would say, you know, do you remember working with Daisy on that boat? God, remember how she just smiled and did everything without a complaint? Oh, you mean, I like to call her Smile on Her Face Daisy.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Of course, yes. Smile on Her Face Daisy. She's like, these girls aren't going to progress in yachting. They're not going to progress in any of their careers if they don't adjust their attitude.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
If you've got time for a peep, you don't need time to sleep. That's what I say. That was pizza making. And they're doing great. They're doing great. Fucking car alarm. Really? In 2024? Are we still doing that?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Think of how many cars have had baseball bats taken to them just because the car alarm went off. And people are like, fuck off!
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
you know what enough yeah but you know i think it's rough to hear that the person that you like is being making out with somebody else or flirting with somebody else and then that person gets three hour breaks you know i mean i know they all kind of get three hour breaks but sometimes i'm on her side but then other times yeah other times i'm generally on her side but also like like better people too like you wouldn't be in the situation if you had a higher standard than chase yeah exactly
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So then she's all pissy. And then Daisy is now talking to Chloe about lemon sorbet we made to make tequila. And then Keith is asking Sarah about the jellyfish sting. And she's like, I'm still going to dance, baby.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
But you do have to share bathrooms with him because he takes a lot of poops. Does she just mean with makeup and stuff? I think that's what she means. I think he means he just poops and leaves, but then girls sit there and do all their makeup and stuff like that. So then Gary's like, no relationship, doctor.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
There's also the Golden Crappies, our yearly award show for all things Bravo, on Broadway this year in New York City. That's going to be so amazing. All of the shows are going to be great. We're so excited to be back on the road. They are a really fun experience, you guys. Go check it out. Get the schedule over at watchwhatcrappens.com. Also, we're on video as usual.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
It's my art. When I'm at work, I'm at work. She's like taking it way too seriously. She's chapel grown.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
It's like when you go to Walgreens and it says, over the hill, it's black and gold. Like, what is this, a Walgreens? Oh, God. I mean, what are the colors? Gold and black. Thanks, Walgreens. No, fuck that. I don't want to look old. honey, what do you think you look like right now? You're literally complaining to the manager over and over again.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
You're the lady who won't leave the customer service line. You don't have a receipt and you're going to sit there and try and return some shit that was like five, you know, five years old and dirty. Okay. And you're yelling, pulling up the line about how young and youthful you, you sound girl.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
No, because what Dani is doing, she's doing that, like, you're over the hill of, like, a funeral type of thing.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
you know how people do that usually it's when people turn 40 though so i will say that is that is not i know danny's part because she's doing i think what she's doing is that 40 year old thing where it's like oh it's like a funeral everybody pretends it's a funeral like you're getting old and then people were black and it's like funny because you're like 40 which is really old but then when you hit 50 you really are like oh my god i'm old i'm old like i'm officially older now like i'm an older person and then so when someone's like haha you're a funeral it's like girl i
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
I had a heart attack this month. You can't throw me a pretend. It's not funny anymore. It's not a decade ago.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
You can find all of our daily videos over on patreon.com. If you don't mind waiting a week, you can get them for free over on YouTube. We ain't here to rob you. Also, bonus episodes right now are sold on SLC Recaps, which is a hilarious new show on Bravo that we are covering exclusively on Patreon. So go check that out. Ben, how has your morning been?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
She probably likes brown paper packages too. She literally will not stop bitching about it because they're like, okay, sorry, we'll change it. I mean, gold, white, rose gold. That would have nailed it, right? Ronnie, go away. Go away with your stupid stinging leg, okay? Nobody wants to hear it.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So you don't want to look old, so you want a child's color. She's like, you know what would have made this? Pink. That's what that would have done it.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Go back to bed, weird Barbie.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
I love mermaids. So then Daisy's checking in on the decorating and Danny's like, oh, it's not good here. She says she hates black. So we've got to change all of these black decorations.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Jellyfish sting survivor here. Please move out of the way. You're basically standing in a handicapped spot. Oh, God.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
I'm throwing my cup at her. So then some people move and we see they circle on screen the statue that everybody's clamoring to see. And it basically looks like one of those plaster of Paris pirate people that you see when you go into the Long John Silvers back in the day. You remember those?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
It's like, take a menu or whatever.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
We went and did this radio show this morning, and I just came in and jumped right on here and got to doing this. I didn't even have time to take off my pants and my shoes. I mean, I'm working like a professional in here. I'm wearing nice shoes. I'm wearing pants, like real pants, not jogging pants. I just wanted to update everybody on my vibe today.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
I'm taking my shoes off. God, my life has just changed. You know, you take one shoe off. Oh, my God. It does something to me.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
What a difference a shoe makes. God. God bless it. My feet are free. Free.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Okay, so now we're back on the yacht and Daisy is talking to Cloyce and she's like, are you getting up the food for the morning? I'm worried about your time and I need it to be this. I need it to be that. I need it. He's like, please stop talking to me. You're giving me a boner.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
It's just as dollar store as it was before. You're fine. Your mediocrity is consistent. Okay. Yes. Yes. So then, Tammy, you know, the people are like, oh, my God, they come back to the boat after this lackluster moment.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Like, oh, my God, please let this day end so we can stop pretending to like Ronnie. I know.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
sounds like he was being choked out so then a toddler chase is like so dude tell me about the time of night to go out man like you guys got do you guys go clubbing you go dancing and shit or what do you do because i'm here i'm here at fun cares He's like, it's about nights of fun. And he's like, well, do you get wasted? He's like, bro, I like fucked up.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And my mouth gets worse when I've had a few drinks and I've offended a few people.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
He's really pulling the victim card on this episode. So I don't know what happened, but it was something bad. Because for him to be like, oh, now I think I have a problem. Like, when you do that, you've really fucked up. So they edited out whatever the fuck this was. And I think you're right. I'm curious as to what it was.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Because the sexual harassment allegation was, I believe, after they shot, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
You know, because that moment where you're like, I might have a problem, that's like a huge... And sorry to sound so cynical, but we've seen it so many times on these shows. That's when you've really fucked up. Like, you've almost gotten fired. You've almost... You've lost everything. Like, James Kennedy, for example. Like, he got... Fired from Sir. He was not going to be on the show.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Nobody would hang out with him. They were trying to keep him out of the group. And then he was like, okay, now I just have ice cream instead of drugs. And I'm happy. I'm happy, guys. I'm happy. And he tried that shit. But it was, like, really a dramatic thing that got him there. So, yeah, I think you're right. Something happened here.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Because they're really overdoing it with this, like, oh, poor Gary. Look at him. He just wants to change. Yeah.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah, you look at the charges, it's like I agreed to a certain amount, and then you look at that bill, and it is nowhere near the number that you agreed to. But then there's like 90 million charges on top of what you agreed to that were just secrets. Sorry, but not with mint. Say bye-bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw-dropping monthly bills, and unexpected overages.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Super fun morning, yeah. Fun seeing Leah Black. Leah Black! It's been a while. So it's good to see her. I'm going to go see her a little bit later. And always good to see Jeff and Shane. They're such nice guys. They're so nice to us. My God. Which is so, you know, nice. They are.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
He's like, probably same as me, right? She's like, well, like five. It's not even eight hours. What time are you waking up? He's like, oh, come on, later than five. Come on.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah. So then now the guests come back for dinner. They arrive for dinner and they're all in Elton John glasses. It's Studio 54. And Ronnie's like, I'm just wanting you now. It's tequila night.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
I think he's done pretty good overall, right? Well, I think that one should be traumatized.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So then later, Daisy is radioing Cloyce. She's like, we're clearing now. We've picked up a plate. Cloyce, Cloyce, Daisy, Daisy, I'm walking with the plate right to the stair. Cloyce, Cloyce, Daisy, Daisy, I've gone down two steps. Cloyce, Cloyce, Daisy, just your daily reminder to stop being such a pussy.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah. Well, that's good. I don't, I don't know what to say. You don't have to say anything.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah. Super nice. Love them. Go check them out on Sirius XM. And let's get on with the recap.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And Albee still wins it. On a different yacht. I love that it's Edward Albee, too. He's like, wait a minute. I did that in high school. Damn it.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah. So the lady's like, oh, my God, that was a good skit. And they loved it. It's really long, by the way. I'm still scrolling through it. If anyone's wondering, wow, Ronnie sure disappeared from this. It's because I'm reading the book that is this. That was a skit. I mean, he really did it.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Well, I mean, look, it's a show. What is it supposed to be? Five minutes? You know, you got to understand.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah. Agreed. So then they, Daisy sends Deanna to bed and she's like, you can get back up at 8.15. And she goes, but wait, I thought you said five. And she's like, well, if you let me finish the conversation, now I'm going to get up tomorrow. She's like, I can get up. She's like, no, no, no. You made it very clear how you feel about that.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
I've agreed to do it because I like feeling pissed and nothing has really pissed me off to this level yet, sir. I've had to create it for myself.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So Diana's like, bullshit. This is, I was going to do it. She's just trying to be a mugger. And then the producer's like, well, but then if you were going to do it, why did you complain about it? What kind of stupid question is that? I do shit all day that I complain about all day. So what? I literally make a list before I go to bed of things that I have to do the next day.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Look for sales on curated cheeses to create a grazing board everyone will love while the dinner's getting cooked. You're in the right place to get all the best accoutrement like nuts, dried fruit, and chocolate.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And then all night I'm like, I'm so mad about my list. That's life. That's how I get through the day. Okay.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Well, it's also service, right? Like if you're a good server, you're ultimately a good martyr. Yeah. It's like, oh, your meal was fucked up? Okay, I'm not going to throw the chef under the bus, even though it was totally their fault. You know, it was me. Self-flagellation, you know?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Well, don't tell Jesus that. My God, he's built a whole religion. He's like the biggest martyr in the world. It's like, what are you going to do? Take away Christianity? Come on. But he didn't like summon everyone over to his cave, right? Like he kind of did. Wasn't he like floating up in the sky? He's like, guys, just got myself out of an unsealed cave. My last magic trick for a while.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And she's like doing that thing where she's like ragefully cleaning little glasses and stuff. She's waiting for someone, someone, someone. What's wrong with me? She's waiting for someone to ask her what's going on. So then Diana does. I mean, Danny does. And it's like, oh, she said that you gave me altitude and you didn't let me finish. And Danny's like, what the fuck?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Like, what are you guys going to overthrow Daisy? Daisy does everything. She's so nice to you losers. Yeah.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah, they literally party all night and are served at five in the morning.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So Daisy's like, I can't be bothered with that shit fucking nightclub crap.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So Daisy. So they come back and now it's time to eat. So they're being served and they're eating it, but they're so tired, you know. So then there's mac and cheese, there's quesadillas. I mean, this is good drunk food. I have to give the Kloisy Kloys credit.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And then Daisy outed Danny for, you know, having a high body count, as they would say on SLC. So we are a second day of charter and we're in Ibiza. And Glenn is still all about Ronnie's jellyfish sting. Personally, I hope that jellyfish was like Ronnie and swam away and was like, could have been better. That definitely could have tasted better. Really not great. Could have been better.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
I hate, this was great. Yes, it really was. And so they go to bed and then it's the last day of charter. And now we see how much sleep everybody got. Diana got eight hours, eight hours of sleep. Crazy. Meanwhile, Daisy's nodding off on the juicer after her four hours. And it says, Keith, zero hours of sleep.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So then Daisy's like, well, I'm the one who's never been caught in any drama. A little bit with Gary, but that's just because it's been long, long time. He's like, yeah, that's true. Well, you know, as we say in the sound of music, brown paper packages tied up in string. Am I right? What the fuck are you talking about, mate?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
You know who everybody wants to date? Somebody who says things like, I think we just need to learn to dial back the phone. That's what we need.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yep. So then, Danny serves her, and Daisy's asking what Ronnie's mood is. And Danny's like, oh, I'm afraid of her. She's like, yeah, she's scary. I was saying she gives me, like, PTSD with my stepmom. Because, you know, no matter what you do, nothing is good enough. You can't ever please the woman. Danny, do that better. Please. What are you, a fool? Try not to be offended. You lazy bitch.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And Dami does her best to not say, like you. So then now it's time to pack. They dock. And now Chase is in the wheelhouse flirting poorly with Diana. He's really trying to flirt with Diana. So he's like, so, where are you going to go back when this is all done, huh, tits? And she's like, Portugal. Oh, cool. Great. That's the thing. Like in Portugal, there's almost no yachties.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So you make friends, you know. And then I don't see them for two years. Yeah, it's a tough industry because, you know, you make good friends and then, you know, like you basically live with people, right? And then you don't see people. Yes, it's what I just said. Yeah. Still hot because there's nobody else here.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
so then um danny and diana are oh so then of course danny gets smells it in the water that her man is being flirted with so she immediately starts coming up and asking a million questions to disrupt them so she's like have you seen that little knife like my knife the tiny knife that i wouldn't be using to stab anybody right now if i hit it
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So Tiana's like, I skip arm day. Okay, look at that. Actually, no, it's pretty good. It's like, whoa, which way did the gun... Oh, excuse me. Guys, so sorry about that. I lost the knife in the bathroom. Can you open the bathroom door to see if the knife is still in there?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah, could have been better. New York Ronnie. Was it great? No. Was it good? No. Was it terrible? No. But it could have been better. Could have been better.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
All right. You guys go ahead. I don't want to bother you. Okay. So anyway, here is my guns. By the way, has anybody seen the knife in the bathroom with my glutes? I've lost my glutes. Has anybody seen anything that can help me out here?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
It seems like he's at least trying it on. Right. And, but like most men, especially on this show, he's just going to go with whatever's easiest. You know what I mean? And she's not as easy. And I don't mean like, you know, loose wise, like she wouldn't easy girl. I don't mean like that. I just mean it's, you know, she's not as conversational and like, she doesn't make it as easy, you know? Yeah.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Diana's more of a hard nut to crack. Right. And Danny's like a bowl of nuts. It's already been cracked and salted and roasted. She is full on peanut butter.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So then Daisy is now talking to Deanna and she's like, what? Oh, she's talking to both the girls and about how the charter was. And Deanna's like, well, it was crazy, but we managed, you know, I mean, it was fine. And then Daisy's like, well, we need a system because when I say things and it doesn't get done, I get annoyed with it. I really do, girls. Man, here's what I need.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And Deanna's like, well, I mean, but I understood I was going to finish at midnight, sleep till five, which is not ever five because you have to wake up earlier. And she's like, I know, I know. Well, I got fuck all sleep last night. It's just the attitude in the moment that you gave me, you know?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And I know all my decisions don't always make sense, but there's actually thought behind it, believe it or not.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
It was an okay leg. It's the jellyfish version of Bethany Frankel. you know what? I've had better stings. That's it. You know, I've tried, I've tried, I've tried different legs. I've had better stings. That one wasn't so good. I'm so sorry. If you don't want a bad review, don't send me a leg.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Chase is like, wow, so good to be back here. Thanks for the compliment, buddy. God, I miss this couch. This is the money couch. Which is funny because I think that's a J.D. Vance quote, which is odd. So then Gary's like, you're doing great. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, we're actually very, very glad to see you somewhere. And I was just like, well, thanks a lot.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Don't really even need to be there to be this, do I? I mean, you can still get me all the way over here. You must feel so powerful right now.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
I'm exhausted. Please. So now Chase is doing bicep flexes. And Danny's pretending to ignore him. And they ended up making $24,000, which is pretty good, right?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Has there been a lower tip than that?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So then now everybody gets ready to go out tonight. And Daisy and Gary are talking, making small talk. And Gary's saying, oh, I'm not going to drink tonight. Yeah. You know, listen, then just don't drink. But when you go and make it like this is how I know he's not sincere with wanting to turn over any leaf because he's making it like, look, everybody, I'm not going to be drinking tonight.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Poor, poor Gary. Like you have to make a huge fucking song and dance out of it. Just don't have a drink, bro. So you're not going to drink for the rest of the season, Gara?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Oh, poor Gary, poor Gary. And so this is like, well, I'm fully behind this if he really wants to stop drinking. But it's basically the Emma storylines in it.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Shut up. I do not believe one thing he's saying. I don't believe it.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Not giving a fuck. Choices. Yeah, seriously. Choices. So then Chase is like, whoa, you look like Siegfried and Roy. Jeez. Are you taming tigers? And he's like, mazambique. Yeah, let's all do these.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
He literally just blew down the wall. Yeah. He took tank and blew down over it. I had to keep building wall. My arm was so tired by end. I said, I can't have another relationship.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Oh, my God. His tattoos are just wow. I do not remember how bad his tattoos were. Did you? I did.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
They are thirsty tattoos. Those are some serious... Because it's like the Harry Styles thing, but it's... What are the eagle wings or something on his chest? I don't love the tattoo on the pecs. I just feel like... That's the Harry Styles, right? Well, I think his are right below his...
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
One is just something like you don't understand age or aging because when you put like eagle wings on it, for example, as you age and start to sag, it's just like a frowny mustache face. You know what I mean? Like you need to. That's true. You need to think of the future. Don't stop thinking about tomorrow, guys.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
It's like, oh, my God, you've got it. Is that a dead bird on your chest? No, I'm just old. All right. So Tom Selleck. They go to dinner and everyone's like, oh, my God, we're going to party. Ah, we're going to go wild, aren't we, Cloyce? Cloyce is going to live his best life.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And they're all like, oh, gross. Jeez, close.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
That was hard. So then Chase is flirting with Deanna. A little bit. And it's not going very well. And he's like, I'm pretty dumb. And she's like, I think you are more savage because you'll say shit. And then Garrett's like, I'm going to pee pee. So Chase goes with him. And then Daisy asks Deanna what's going on. She's like, what's happening with your ass? Oh, fuck off. Don't tell me nothing.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
You vibe well enough. I like it. Oh, you think you're sweet together. You get on. What'd you make out with him? Do it. She did it. Eh? Did you do it or are you going to do it? Do you have reservations on him? Do it before that one jumps on him because you know she will. Like a fly on shit, that one. No offense, Chase. I'm not calling you shit, really. It's like white on rice, really.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Jellyfish are little bitches. No, I didn't see it. Um, but they are, they're, they're little bitches.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So then now they're going to go back to the boat and party there. And so they do. And then Keith is like, I'm going to train the little Wayne. Like, wow, he's really come out of his shell. Who knew Keith even said things like that? I can't even believe he knew who Lil Wayne even was.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
I love your country. Most of all, you're here. Second of all, you've given me a boner.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So then what do we do next? So then Davide goes to check on Gary. He's like, are you okay? What are you doing in here? We are partying, brother. And he's like, I can't party. I'm just not drinking anymore.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Do you know what words are?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Blah, blah, blah. This storyline is triggering me. It's really bothering me. I don't know why. It's really bothering me watching Gary take something that most people really go through that's a real thing and trivializing it because he got in trouble. And I feel like that's what's going on here.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
If I thought there was one smidgen of him actually thinking like, wow, maybe I have a problem that I need to get this taken care of. This is not cool for the people around me. If that was a real thing that he was going through, I would like it. But I don't believe it for one second. It just seems so fucking fake. And someone told him, like, you have to say this stuff.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And really, this is how you really take responsibility. Get up and say how you've got a problem and you'll do anything to change it. And he's just doing it. And it's bugging me. I don't like it.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah, I mean, I think the thoughts he's thinking are real, but I think they're regurgitated from other things he's heard. I don't know that he's really feeling them. I think he's just like learned that this is what you say when you're in trouble. And it's just, it's really fucking the fuck out of me. I think it could be all of the above. It could be.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah. Everybody get in the pool.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So now people go... And back in the hot tub, they're playing like naughty games. And then there's like a game like you have to do your favorite. Well, Daisy does suck and blow and accidentally kisses Keith. Wacky. And then Danny gets to recreate her favorite movie makeout scene with Chase, which of course they get that. And so they do the notebook scene and they start making out really hard.
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
you know like a shark will bite you it could kill you but at least it has like eyes and a face and is menacing like they can make a cartoon character out of it you know what i mean yeah like they can draw a shark and be like oh this shark has this personality that one like a jellyfish is just like it's just like a blobby spineless thing like it's literally just like a plastic bag floating in the water that can really fuck you up and it just seems unfair you're a bubbly spit
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And then Danny tops him, like it's on top of him and starts grinding up against him and making out. And of course, Deanna is like, oh my God, I only slept eight hours for this.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Oh, right, right, right. Gary, she just made out with him. They went to bed. Right, right, right. yeah we didn't do anything bullshit you didn't do anything i know see little liar little liar and so then um danny if daisy sees diana she's like all right well bad call on my part i just heard an ass getting slapped uh so it's probably bad call on my part but i thought you were vibing
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And then we just hear a slap on the ass and he, yeah, yeah. Wow. I like that. He slaps her on the ass and goes, wow. And she goes, what? And he goes, wow. Oh, all right.
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
I'm not going to like cry for that. I'm not, I'm not crying for Argentina today. Okay. They're much better than chase out there. A hundred percent. Also banks. Everybody, thank you so much for everything, for being here with us, for talking with us. We sure love you guys.
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Go get tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour starting next month over at watchwhatcrappens.com and for the Golden Crappies, which is February 1st on Broadway in New York City. And we will talk to you next time, okay? Bye. Bye.
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Sip Some Scotch with Jessica Trotch.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
The highest tally, it's Sarah McNally.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And our super premium sponsors.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah. Stop floating. Like, you can't get mad if you're just, like, flop. Like, flop.
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And it's like suddenly you have arm strength. You know what I mean? Because you know that if you ever needed to move, the jellyfish would be like, I'm just a jellyfish. Look, I can't move. I like, I literally can't pick up anything. But then once there's a person nearby, they're like, oh yeah, boom. And suddenly they're the fucking karate kid.
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And you know, it tries to answer all of the Jeopardy questions while you're watching it with them. Like, oh, shut up. I thought you didn't have a brain.
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Make Whole Foods Market your holiday headquarters. Have you ever found the house of your dreams only to learn it has dark secrets?
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah, and you're just desperate because you want to have Keira Knightley in a question. Is it Keira Knightley? Wait. Oh, no. You have to answer it in an answer, right? Who is Keira Knightley? It got it right once. Who is Keira Knightley? Right. Will Keira Knightley ever call me? No. Stop asking random questions. That's not even the proper form of the question.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
And then even when you answer Keira Knightley to a math question, at the end you go, oh, I would have gotten that. That was my last, that was my next answer. That was my next answer.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Fuck off. Stop your bitching. And hurt people hurt people. Okay, I get it. Who hurt you, Jellyfish? Okay? I bullied people on this show because I went through bullying. Who bullied you? Who bullied you?
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
No, at least he's trying with a personality though.
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
I would, I'd like to add, speaking of, can we please stop gendering war? Because yeah, those fish don't really, they didn't choose. Yeah.
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah, we're pacifists, you fucking stupid war fish.
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Yeah. You know what? Even a broken clock. Broken clocks, et cetera. Okay. So Daisy's apologizing for outing Danny as, you know, hitting on everybody, I guess I should say. So she's like, sorry, I shouldn't have said that then. Try not to get offended. All right then. And she's like, well, I've kind of learned that with this crew in general, even if you're offended, just shut the fuck up anyway.
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Right? Right. Right. Poor victim Danny. Poor, poor victim Danny.
Watch What Crappens
#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
But as the sellers discover, sometimes the home of your dreams can be a total nightmare.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
pick it up like wait a minute is she a lime scooter my god try not to get too offended Danny sorry I shouldn't have said that try not to get too offended it's not her fault for being an asshole it's Danny's fault for always getting offended so she's like well we've got two more weeks and we need to try to enjoy each other and Danny's of course hurt and she's like she's just always finding a way to shit on me
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
That's your boss telling you, you know, if you got time to flirt, you got time to squirt. Okay, now grab some Windex and get over there. Squirt that Windex.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
She sends Ron a three-hour break. Okay, so then we go to the swim platform and, you know, everyone's still gathered around Ronnie, like, secretly cheering on that jellyfish. Jellyfish. And then Daisy and Glenn are discussing the schedule. And then, oh, then we find out that there's this boat procession thing that Captain Glenn really wants him on. He's like...
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Cut to Captain Glenn in an afro. In a black and white.
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
So then. Let's see. The guests have requested midnight snacks. So we know it's going to be a long night because this is an Ibiza charter. So they're going to have to deal with, you know, people trying to pretend they're not turning 50, which my friends are doing it every year now. And it just ends awkwardly every time, every single time. Like, why are we doing this?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
You've heard us talking about the latest Dash Pass annual plan benefit, Stream Max with ads included at no extra cost. If you haven't tried it yet, what are you waiting for?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
Nobody wants to be out until six in the morning. Why are we pretending we want this? You know?
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#2657 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E11: Broadway Stinger
there were like a huge amount of midnight snacks i was like what what's happening with this season this is wrong yeah the shark so then diana is opening a bottle of tequila or something and chase passes by her and just reminds us how annoying he is he's like hey you're awesome we love you we love you here doing great go away
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Especially when it's told by a full cast like that. Like, it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
she's just doing it all she just continues to rise and rise and it's so funny it's just it's amazing good for her yeah so uh i all i also thought you know normally i would read a post like that and be like so is there anything about him that you like i mean to that guy i would probably say red flag because when your partner is like here's what i love about my partner everything they do for me i mean normally i would say that's a red flag in this situation i say you go girl
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
hashtag boss bitch, uh, that shit, you know?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Go to audible.com slash crappins and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's audible.com slash crappins.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Okay, so in other stuff that's not VPR, there are rumors that Whitney Rose is divorcing Justin. John, John, John.
Watch What Crappens
#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
A source, this is reality blurb, a source claimed Whitney Rose is close to signing divorce papers. They're pretending everything is okay. Whitney's banking on the demise of her marriage to confirm her snowflake for next season, and she will not be holding back. Oh, we know she'll throw Justin under the bus for that snowflake, so let's see what she's got.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
It's very difficult for people to let go of tall people.
Watch What Crappens
#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
One is just Whitney to go bragging to a friend about it. Like, I believe that it's a source close to it, which is probably Bobby, her daughter or something.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Find sales on show-stopping proteins like Whole Foods Market Beef Brisket, Golden King Crab Clusters and Lobster Tails and their new organic spiral cut bone-in ham.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
They're crazy drug addict sodas in Salt Lake City. She's high. You can tell that it's Whitney who's letting this leak because you know that Whitney, this is the community theater show, so you know Whitney's like,
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Oh, my God. Whitney said she's going to dump Justin for a storyline. I mean, it just completely sounds like her. Like she would pitch it that way to her friends.
Watch What Crappens
#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
You know, I'm not entirely sure. I'm not entirely sure. Beavis. I think I've got it right. It's Beavis. The one with the blonde pompadour. Yeah.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Yeah, you look at the charges, it's like I agreed to a certain amount, and then you look at that bill, and it is nowhere near the number that you agreed to. But then there's like 90 million charges on top of what you agreed to that were just secrets. Sorry, but not with mint. Say bye-bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw-dropping monthly bills, and unexpected overages.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
All plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
$45 upfront payment required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speeds slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details.
Watch What Crappens
#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Also an interesting thing to be mad about. Disgusting, chug chocolate milk before making out.
Watch What Crappens
#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Start your free online visit today at 4HERS.com slash crappins.
Watch What Crappens
#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
I believe it. I went to the grocery store today. Eggs were $9. And guess what? They weren't even sold by a Gorga. They were just $9.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
I mean, for the bottom of the trash, because that's where they belong and we all fucking know it. Why would you bring, wasn't the thing she got store-bought cookies? I mean, I get that that's like a burn. I guess that that's like a show burn. They all do it, right? Like on Potomac right now, we have Happy Eddie because they called him Happy Eddie.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
It's like, oh yeah, well now I'll have a company called Happy Eddie. Ha ha, got you. So I guess she's doing that, but it's like 10 years after the burn. It's weird. Actually, it's probably like 15 years after the burn, but the televised burn, it's at least like a decade past that. So it's kind of a weird thing to be coming.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
4HERS.com slash crappins.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
She doesn't have a lot of iconic moments. You know what I mean? There's not like a lot that you can sell. Like Teresa will always have. And I'm sorry to compare it to Teresa, but since they always do, she doesn't have that table flipping moment. You know what I mean? She tried it with the cheese.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
I mean, her iconic moment to me is on display and the cheese when she threw the cheese and that pathetic display of trying something.
Watch What Crappens
#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Oh, that's my next piece. So I was going to say before, you know, we judged Melissa for that. You do have to find a way when your show is out of here, you're not on your show anymore to capitalize like Miss Bethany Frankel. Now, Bethany, as we always, as we know, we always talk about. has a TikTok and she has become a food reviewer on her TikTok. That's like her thing now.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
This shit is so funny and I die whenever there's clips. This has been a whole week of Bethany clips on TikTok that have been just hilarious. Not intentionally, I don't think. But one of them is, it started with Harry. Harry, Lisa, Harry Rinna. Harry, not Stiles. Harry Hamlin. Harry Hamlin, yeah. Sorry, guys. So Harry Hamlin has his pasta sauce and he sent it to Bethany. This is Bethany.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
All right. I'm going to try it. I'm going to try it. You know, I got Harry's sauce and then I got Rose. Rouse. Okay. Whatever. The Gorga sauce. Whatever it is. Okay. I'm going to try that. I'm going to be blindfolded. So I'm not going to know which is which. All right. Blindfold me. Blindfold me. I'm a guy. I can't see. I can't see. You're fired. You're fired. Get someone else to do it. All right.
Watch What Crappens
#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
I can see a little light now. Okay. You're hired. All right. So I'm going to taste it.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
All right. This one.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Oh, my God. What is that? Rosemary? Oh, my God. Is that Rosemary's baby that was conceived, birthed, and died in my mouth? Like, what is this? You know what? I'm sorry. Disgusting.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
This causes climate change right here. We're all going to die. This is it. It's killing us. Lisa Renner, your husband's trying to kill everybody on Earth, okay? And by the way, don't send me this stuff. Why did you send it? Why did you send it? You know, I told her, if you don't want me to say the truth, don't send it to me because that's what I am. I'm a ball buster. I'm a truth teller.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
You know what? And you just got it. I hope you enjoyed it because it was hard for me. I hope she's not going to hate me. You did not have to do this whole thing to slander anyone. Well, I think it's also like I didn't taste it, you know, like, why be like that?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
All right. Well, Rouse is also a big Bravo sponsor, obviously, because they also have ads with Melissa and Joe Gorga. You've seen those, right? I have not seen those, actually. That's amazing, actually. Oh, you haven't? Yeah, that's a huge deal for them, for the Gorgas. They have a sponsorship with Rouse. So it's weird that now...
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
She brings up Rouse, which is still connected to Melissa Gorga, but then finds a way to diss another housewife in like the moving of the Rouse. It's weird. And I don't know. I heard that she makes like millions of dollars a month with this TikTok. So somebody paying, you know. Well, you know that. Good for her. Even if you know that. You go Rouse. I'll take your money. Give it to me.
Watch What Crappens
#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
I'm dissing Harry right now for free. I'll do this shit for some pasta sauce money. Give it over.
Watch What Crappens
#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
This is the reason Trump shit his pants in Paris. Wherever he was. Did he really shit his pants?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens Crappy Hour. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. I'm trying to figure out how to mute all my windows because I've got our voices in nine windows. Oh, no, my face. Hi, everybody. I solved that. So there's only one gay Ronnie voice coming back in my face and not 20 or whatever that never too much. Hi. Hi. Hi.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
I'm sorry, but that's bullshit. First of all, that girl doesn't eat, so I don't want to hear it. Those girls are models is what I'm saying. I'm not commenting on any eating disorder before everybody gets on my nerves. I'm making a model joke, but I'm not trusting a model on pasta sauce love. Also, you know what? You should not have to cook a pasta sauce before it tastes good.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
You can taste some ragu tasting like shit, and you can also taste some homemade pasta sauce tasting not like shit without it being cooked.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Oh, it's called Rao's. Yeah, thank you. Wax Poetry is like, it's pronounced Rao's. Okay, okay. We hear you. We hear you. Thank you. Rao's. Rao's. What was I saying? Wasn't I saying Rao? Maybe you're saying Rao's. I'm sure I wasn't.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Rao. But also, I have to say, I also don't believe that Harry makes a good pasta sauce. Because remember when we met Harry, we met him with Lisa Rinna. We went to the Beverly Hills, whatever, lounge or whatever they like to go to. Yeah, we went to the polo lounge with them.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
And we were sitting right next to Al Pacino, who I couldn't tell if he literally still don't know to this day if he was senile and confused about where he was. He just he was alone. And he just kept staring at us with that confused face. I say this about Michael Darby all the time, but like the confused dog that's just ready to be put out of its misery. That's what he looked like.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Being at the polo lounge with a bunch of L.A. people, everybody was like that. I mean, Renna was like that. Harry was like that. Except Harry, instead of talking about the films and stuff he'd been in, he was like, you know, NASA, I'm really into NASA. I speak there. He's like, I'm brilliant. I'm a brain scientist. I'm a rocket scientist and all this.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
And by the way, he was really nice, except for saying, what are you guys doing here? Don't you know this place is homophobic? You're not supposed to be eating here. I was like, well, what are you doing here? He's like, that's not a terrible point.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
but he was really nice to us but um you know anyway i i just from that conversation i was like this is an actor who no one ever tells him he's wrong he probably goes to nasa and they're so excited that they have a celebrity there and he probably god knows what he's talking about nuclear fission or whatever i just don't buy that he's like an expert because you know actors it's like ryan gosling probably walking into someplace like i'm a classical pianist because i learned it for
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
La La Land or whatever. I never trust on actors. Know a little bit of everything, but master of nothing, whatever it is.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
like how you can like divulge like what's going on in your heart and your brain to alanis morissette and be like give me therapeutic advice i don't understand it i feel like once you're in entertainment you can't be taken seriously in other forms unfortunately sorry yeah and you know she was like there's rosemary in here what it was rosemary it's disgusting and um you know you don't put rosemary in pastas like you know that's just like an extra thing to do like i'm gonna make some i'm gonna make some artistic choices here and put rosemary in my pasta sauce like no that's just not how you do it
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Not that I'm an expert. I got ripped apart when my character Nancy posted a pasta sauce. People were like, this is heathiness. Wait a second, this fake person put up an incorrect pasta sauce recipe. Someone is just telling us, reminding us that Jesus Christ died for our sins and rose again. So just thank you so much, Carve. Thank you so much for being here. My God. Changed my life.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Hi, everybody. Welcome. It is crappy hour. It's every other Monday. So this is one of the other Mondays. It's December 16th. So good to see you, everybody. Tickets for live shows, Patreon, et cetera, et cetera. Go check that out at watchwhatcrappens.com. Live show tickets. Ben, it's so lovely to see you on your brand new setup over there. It looks so good. Thank you.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
So, yeah, so that was the first thing with Bethany. Okay. So then she's like, oh, my God, guess what I got today in the mail. This is nuts. I can't believe it. I'm serious. Like, why would people send me this?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
She ain't scared because she's from Georgia. Bethany trying to do a Jersey accent as if her accent is posh compared to a Jersey accent is fucking hilarious, first of all. Julie, it's Melissa, Melissa Gorga. All right, she made sprinkle cookies. Why would you send these to me? Like, why? You think I'm not going to tell the truth? She's not scared.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
All right, she's not scared yet because she's from Jersey.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Look at this. Look at this box. This box is beautiful. Well done. What a beautiful box. You can see through it. It's called a window, okay? Because you can see the cookies. Wow. I look at it. I know what it is. Look. These cookies. Look at these cookies right here. I'm tasting it. It tastes like candy. You know why? Because it's a tin of cookies. It's a tin of cookies. It's disgusting.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Why would you make this out of tin? I can't eat tin. I almost died from tin poisoning. Anyway, I can't see cookies in here. Terrible cookies. Throw them away. Get rid of them. Burn them. Throw them at a homeless person. All right. So hers, beautiful. They're in a window. I can see the sprinkles in here. Very good co-packing. Great co-packing. Such good co-packing. You wonder what co-packing is?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
That's when you pack it with somebody else. You think she's doing this from her house? She's not. She's using a co-packer. I'm an expert. You just heard it from me.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
So she's going on and on about the packaging.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
This is Vicky. This is Vicky. All right, Vicky, say hi. Vicky's like, hello. She's like, Vicky's from Albania. All right? It's Albania, right? Yeah, she's from Albania. Isn't that insane? Yeah, I'm just kidding. All right, Vicky, you're going to taste a sprinkle cookie, all right? We're going to taste it together.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Okay, Vicky. All right, eat it. What do you think, Vicky? how do you say in Albanian? She's like, good. I mean, I didn't understand you. That was a very thick accent, but you know what? What do you think? She's like, good. She's like, it's good. She's right. Vicky's right. All right. Albania wins one. All right, go get out of my, never look me in the eye again. Never look me in the eye.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
let me tell you who else she's terrorizing america because this was her third video that i'm talking about this week so bethany comes on i think today i think it was today and she's like all right you know the drones all right you're all going to think i'm crazy i know you already think i'm crazy whatever but you know the drugs well i know a friend who knows a friend who works for a friend let me tell you something this is a serious person okay it's not a there's nukes they're looking for nukes we're all going to die
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
I mean, wherever they're looking, there's nukes there. You know, I remember the day I was sitting with my driver. Let me tell you a relatable story. One day, I was sitting in front of a glistening building I owned with my driver, who I also owned. And he told me about a global pandemic. I said, what are you, fucking crazy? What are you, a sprinkle cookie in 2019? Like, shut up. And guess what?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
There was a pandemic. So listen to me. There's probably nukes. Okay, they're all going to be like, what the fuck are you doing now? I hope she's wrong, by the way. And I'm not making fun if there are. But I'm like, could you imagine if this is the world now that we just hear that we're being nuked from fucking Bethany? That's how we find out.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
So she's not saying the drones are nukes, by the way. She's saying that there are nukes planted all over the tri-state area and that the nukes are sniffing them out and that the government's not telling us so that we don't all freak out. Could this be true? Of course. It's just to me, it's like, is this how I want to find out I'm about to die?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
The last thing I want is Bethany holding a fucking Melissa's Gorga sprinkle cookie in my face. We're all going to die. Look out your window.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
oh my gosh okay so that was that bethany just really killing it on the tick tock these days and also i just like to see bethany i'd like to see lisa renna because you know lisa renna's over at diana jenkins house right now like oh bethany franco thinks she's gonna come for me i'm gonna get her oh just you wait henry higgins I can't wait to see Rinna's revenge. Because you know she'll take it.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
And he's been hiring hookers.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
There's going to be something. And it'll probably come in the form of Elton John dissing Rinna or something that Diana's connected to.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
So she got mad when she got mad when I made face masks of her big lips as the mask. Cause you remember when we were making masks during the pandemic and I made a mask that was Lisa Rinna's gigantic lips. I thought it was so funny. So I was like, hey, do you want us to send you some of these? I think they're so funny. And she's like, haha. And then immediately blocked me. And then followed us.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
And I guess blocked you. I mean, what the hell, Lisa Rinna? Take a joke. That's your whole claim to fame. Lisa. Your fucking stupid lips.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
We've been paying for action. So there you go. You know what? I love when people can admit that. So good for you. Thank you.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Well, she yeah, she unfollowed and blocked. And she's you know, she has a different life now because she spent. Beverly Hills trying to lay the groundwork for her, you know, Chris, what's her bunch? Chris Jenner. Not Chris Jenner. Yeah, Chris Jenner. Her kind of life. And she's living it now. Now she dresses like Jigsaw the Clown and goes to fashion things and looks insane.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
And I think she's so happy. She looks happy.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Kind of pointing off into the distance while holding her from behind.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
I'll tune in for the housewives, but not their husbands. Like, I'm sorry. Terry D. Brown, no.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Yeah, feel better over there. So today, we've got a crazy week this week. A lot's been going on on Bravo, especially with Vanderpump Rules. You know, we've always wondered what would happen when that show crashed and burned. It did crash and burn, and now they are crashing and burning. Like, it's crazy. Well, the men, you know, the men.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
So, um, but how does she not go to the doc? If she really, if you really think you've got a parasite, that's the size of a baby arm in your face, that swimming around, how do you not go to the doctor? I mean, I know insurance is really fucked in this country and healthcare is really fucked.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
And all you need to do is read the current news and how people are reacting to the healthcare, you know, bosses, the not healthcare workers, but the, uh, insurance. Yeah.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
heads of insurance yes luigi our current national hero right now to see how everybody's taking the current state of the health care industry so i'm not saying that it's like easy to go get your face fixed but girl if you've got if you've got the if you've got the new television show version of dune on your face you need to go in there and figure out what the is going on
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
out of there the minute my face starts moving there's something under my face i'm going to the doctor and you know i won't go if my blood pressure is 240 over something which it has been and i wouldn't it's they had to drag me there it's it's actually really scary at first i was like oh my god brandy glenville added again but now it is kind of scary and i mean
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
I'm sorry. Ben, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I don't want to forget. Jay Sunnyland is telling us she said she spent $70,000 trying to get it fixed. Okay.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
She's tried everything and it still won't go away. That parasite is basically the Brandy Glanville of parasites. It's like the Teddy Mellon camp. No one can stop it. Yeah. But yeah, I hope she, you know, she's, she's annoying and stuff, but I hope she gets her face fixed.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
That's so scary. Crazy.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Well, I didn't laugh. I just, you know, I've, it's been going on for a long time. something's been wrong just because of the fillers and stuff. We've seen it for a long time. I'm not saying that's what this is, but it's been for years where she's been posting stuff or she posts like, look what Bravo's done to me. And then she'll post like a horrifying facial picture.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
And then she'll be like, click for details. And it's like a clickbait type thing where she's clickbait about getting really bad at that.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Like she's just now. Yeah. She's good. She's going off the deep end with her. And at first she was like, well, I call this the Bravo disease because this didn't happen. So I was in Morocco and that trip ruined my life. I'm like, okay, so Morocco, you're the only one. I don't know.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
It's just, but didn't she also say, but you know, I worry about her sometimes because I don't think she's like the worst. I mean, she was nice to us. She always had a place in my heart. And she had such great hope at the beginning. It's just one of those stories you see someone in Hollywood like completely losing it in front of you for years. And they just get worse every year.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
um but this uh james domestic violence charge i can't say it's the most shocking thing um in the world but it is still extremely sad did not like it it was reported this week that uh neighbors called uh because they heard a fight after kathy hilton's christmas party over at james's house in burbank i don't know how they heard it over the southwest flights but they did and maybe calling
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
And it gets worrisome, you know.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
like it's yeah it's crazy someone someone get someone get a fix for her please please yeah but you know good luck to her my goodness um so what else do we have in here let's see we've gone through lindsey hubbard had a baby lindsey oh my god lindsey had a baby girl and not only did she have a baby she it was all spawn con i mean that baby came out with a little mcdonald's golden arch on its forehead
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
It's like, girl, you're doing a spawn con in the birthing room?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
She literally was in her birthing room. She's like, look what I gave birth to. A lovely submarine from Mike Sandwiches. I was like, what are you doing?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Look for sales on curated cheeses to create a grazing board everyone will love while the dinner's getting cooked. You're in the right place to get all the best accoutrement like nuts, dried fruit, and chocolate.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Miss Brown Sugar says she's an influencer. That's her job shrug. I know, but that shit's hilarious. I mean, my God, that's like us doing a podcast while we're giving birth, which we would, you know, because that is, well, we probably wouldn't be giving birth, but you know what, if we could.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
And what I love- Is it really called Padma Does Comedy? Padma Does Comedy. That's really what it's called?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
I wonder what Little Deer thinks. Hey, Little Deer, what do you think? What does she call her daughter? Little Hands. Little Hands. Hey, Little Hands, what do you think about that one?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
And it turns out it was because James accusedly, Ben, they're saying that your mic is a lot lower than mine today.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
So anyway, Padma does comedy. Well, excited for it. Excited for both. Not Padma's comedy, because I've seen clips of that, and that needs to stop. She needs to not do it. She needs to join Reza in not doing that anymore. Let's just put that to bed. What else? Is there anything else in here you want to discuss before we turn it over to the listeners?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
I don't think we've had that many emails on a subject in years. And a lot has gone down on this channel. We've said a lot of stupid things that we've gotten a lot of mail for. Never as much as this. I mean, it's a lot. It's out of control.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Were you messing with your levels?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Shorzeski. It's by Judith Lieber.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Come on. I don't know, but they love them. They sure love them. They're like, how dare you, Ben? Yeah. Cancel Ben. So one thing I think we should end this and we'll turn this over to listener calls in a minute, viewer calls and all that good stuff. But I just wanted to leave on a good note. You guys, good things do happen to terrible people. So I want all of you terrible people out there to know
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Bless it.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
You have a chance at happiness too. Isn't that sweet? Lenny Hochstein and Catherine Mazepa are engaged again. They made up, guys. So just when you think that karma is going to come take you down just because you're an awful human being, just remember, it doesn't. It really doesn't at the end of the day. It will reward you. So congrats, everybody. Congrats to those two crazy kids. Good luck.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
um so they were called over apparently the neighbor um alleged that james picked a woman up it wasn't reported at first too and threw her on the ground and um later we found out that was ali and exactly what had happened and ali came out saying it was a misunderstanding that was the first thing that she had said it was a misunderstanding which anybody who has ever read of a dv case in their life has heard before and um
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Good luck with them when he gets his leaky diaper soon. You're going to have a great time with that one. Enjoy the future divorce. Congrats, you crazy kids. All right, everybody, we are turning this over to listener calls. So if you're on Instagram or on audio, this will cut off. If you want to join us for that portion, then join us every other Monday live on YouTube Live.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
And we'll talk to you guys next time.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Hava Nagila Webber. Know Your Worth with Jason Couric. Zipped Some Scotch with Jessica Trotch.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Rigging the Funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She Gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's Give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino. Always Killin' It, it's Lola Alcalani. We Love Her on the Rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
The highest tally, it's Sarah McNally.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
And our super premium sponsors.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
So everybody's just basically been really worried about her, obviously. And she she finally James came out with a statement. Well, not really a statement, but he had a show over the weekend, which I can't believe he kept one. That's crazy because he's been. Yeah, a lot of them have been canceling bookings, but he did go do a show. And it was basically just saying, wait, wait to see.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
It's it's all a misunderstanding or whatever. And then Ali today left. It was reported that she left the house and she was packing to go stay in an Airbnb with her family who was in town to support her. And it showed a picture of James just looking completely, you know, cracked out eyes. Of course, it's it's a picture. But, you know, who knows what's really going on over there?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
But it did not look good for James with this fucking tacky as Givenchy T-shirt as well.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Yeah. Fuck that guy. I mean, that's a very nice way of saying it. I say, fuck that fucking guy. And there is no more chance there. There are no more chances, sir. You've wasted up all your fucking chances, you know, and this just is kind of a cynical view on it.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
But yeah, people like that who are suddenly completely changed the next day because they started eating ice cream instead of doing coke every night. Don't fall for that shit. That is. And it's not to say that people can't recover from drugs and alcohol. But this like sweet little guy act who's love bombing you every day. Don't don't fall for it. Be cautious because fucking people like this.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
I swear to God. So fuck that guy. Hope Ali's OK. It's reported that they're still together. Which obviously I don't love, but you know, you know, my new thing is that I'm going to start driving around in a white van like a creep. And it's going to be your auntie Ronnie pulling up front to get girls in the car and be like, listen here, ma'am. No, no more of this. Okay. Yeah.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Make Whole Foods Market your holiday headquarters. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
I'm going to show you all the clips from the past decade. And then we're going to show you clips of your fucking future. No, ma'am. Get in the car. You are better than this. So she is better than that. So I hope that Ali takes care of herself. You know, obviously can't judge the victim in this kind of stuff, nor would I. So let's see where that leads. Super depressing way to lead this off.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
But I really didn't want that hanging over our head the whole show. So basically, to sum it up, fuck you, James. Get your shit together and do it preferably away from me and my television and any other decent human being. You bastard.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Yeah. Later. Later, skater. So in some other Vanderpump Rules, dramatic news of men being douchebags. This was at least fun because Victoria, Tom's girlfriend, who we all know is only dating that loser so she can get on Vanderpump Rules. Last we heard from her was last week when they announced Schwartz and Sandy's was closing and she came out with her.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Oh, if only you'd had a sign, a sign in the strip mall, which I fought for. Victoria, the real Norma Rae of street-facing signs and strip malls for tiki bars, came out today. I believe this was today, right? Or was this yesterday? This was yesterday.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Victoria Lee Robinson. It was posted yesterday. You guys were right. You guys were right.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
tiger never changes its stripes dot dot dot he loves the best friends apparently i feel like a fool completely heartbroken ma'am your bid to become ariana maddox in the wake of vanderpump rules basically being cancelled with that cast is denied it is denied nobody fell for this shit everybody was like oh what what he loses jobs so now you're out stinker
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Which is pretty fun watching somebody get universally denied for their next bit at fame. What did you think of that when you saw it?
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
it's like it's like a rodeo clown asking for pity that they're coming home smelling like every night what did you think was gonna happen ma'am what did you think what did you think maybe it's not maybe the crap maybe crappy hours should just be called what did you think what did you think what did you think ma'am uh claim denied um so then uh tom came on at eight in the morning
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
uh to live uh we saw some reports of this uh all over the internet from people who scream screen recorded came on the internet uh with i think a coors light uh chain smoking cigarettes and he was like wow let me tell you this much dude she made a huge mistake on that one huge i was like is that a threat like what's his deal
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
But then later in the day, she came out with another post or she, I don't know why I'm saying came out with a post, like she actually created a film, but she- She premiered a post. Where is it? Where's this next post? Hold on. She came out with another one today. Okay. I guess I didn't write the link down here.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Yeah, so that's the one I just said. But then she came out with another one that apparently is something along the lines of lips.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
You are the fucking noise, lady. You are the noise and the funk. C'est bien. Take it away. You brought it all out.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
Yeah, fuck off. You are the noise. Please stop. So while the men were falling apart, we also got some insane Ariana news this week, which was also crazy depressing. Ariana told magazines she's never been happy in her life, and she finally found a man that literally wakes up, works for her, breathes for her, only cares about her. She's such a fucking bitch. Ew, gross. I'm so sick of her.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
So I really thought that was pretty funny that amongst all this news, they're like, Ariana, what do you think? She's like, let me tell you about my boyfriend.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
He literally wakes up, feeds me, mushes my food for me, cleans my house, does my nails, does my hair, tells me how beautiful I am, and then brushes my hair on the way to wherever he's driving me, which is kind of dangerous, but we're also using self-driving. Let's not hit around. And then drops me off and says, you're the most beautiful thing in the world. Then throws sacks of money at my feet.
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#2656 Crappy Hour 12/16/24: PumpRules DV, Drones, and Parasitic Parasites
And then when he leaves, flowers come out of the carburetor and hit me right in the face. It is amazing.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
You're going to stay awake all night wondering what would happen if Angela Lansbury lived right next door to you and you were accused of murder would just be the one that she couldn't get you off of. Like, would this be the one case where she couldn't get one of her neighbors off?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
You should, you should call every number in the book. That's another thing that age brings. You don't care anymore. Complain. Okay. False alarm complaints.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
okay so um danny is like oh my god today i was crazy i was stuck in the laundry is she trying to punish me by putting me in here all day wait is that danny no that's danny sorry today was crazy i was stuck in the laundry she tried to punish me by putting me in here all day and diana's like i try to understand both sides you know there's putin there's everybody else putin wins
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
You say potato, I have you murdered for not saying potato.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Yeah. She, she's really, you're really showing her by her kicking you out of her eyesight. It's like a pimple being like popped and then being like, Oh my God, I sure showed them. No, you didn't. You're splattered all over the window. You idiot.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Danny doesn't even make any sense anymore. She doesn't even try, you know? So then Deanna's like, you know, I don't like this because I feel like I'm in between Daisy and Danny. No, you're not, because Daisy's not saying shit. It's just Danny. You're just in between Danny spewing bullshit everywhere at every turn.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So Detox is like, oh my God. So Glenn, are you allowing all of the crew to come to the club with us? We're going to the club. We're going to the club. And Glenn is like, well, not everybody. You know, we got to man the boat. So caves aren't caves without a few bats in them. So then we cut to Danny and Chase flirting. Sadly, it's kind of a sad flirt.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Although I will say we saw Chase's wiener outline today. Oh my goodness. Holy moly. No wonder. He's so popular on this show. Jesus, man. Good Lord. That baby wants his arm back.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
How would you know what an open book looks like?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
yourself in the foot ronnie if you think i don't know what an open book looks like it looks like um a pair of shoes stacked on top of each other so there ha and she's like yeah open book that's the part that i love and the producer is like love did you just say love she goes oh come on not i would say love you know like you know shut the fuck up i'm not in love with him like god yeah not yet i'm
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Blah, blah, blah, blah. So basically, Daisy wants to have a really good charter because she fucked up the last or the last one was fucked up in general. So she's going to do her best. And she's going to do that by having a drag show where all the guys are going to be in drag. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So they're kind of flirting, I guess. Whatever. I guess. Gary takes it that way. He's like, oh, my God, fuck.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Right when he said, here's the leadership skills of a fucking parent. I was like, he's going to drop that shackle. You just see it coming.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
But of course he's got a fucking shackle because of course you do. And if you didn't have a shackle, shame on you then. Okay. What kind of one shackle ship is this?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Sorry. Shackle shaming continues. Yeah. So then Glenn checks in with Daisy about who's going to go to the club. And she's like, well, it makes sense if the boys go because they're going to be in drag. They want to be a part of it. And, you know, just to make sure everyone knows they're straight, we can send me along because they're all in love with me. So he's like, well, that makes sense.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I thought you were going to go with Gary. She's like, yeah, I'm going.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
so then um glenn's like are you sure the girls are gonna be okay not who gives a fuck what the girls think i'm so sick of these whiny ass fucking girls on this boat i can't take it and at least for a while i could take the putins um diana the portugese yeah yeah her um i could take her but even she's the worst and they were on watch what happens live did you see it
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Me neither. I didn't watch it either. But I read a lot of comments because I was like, no, I won't. I won't do that. But I read a lot of comments on it. And it just says that they were doubling down the whole time on their behavior. Of course they were. Still assholes. Even after watching yourself on TV, I can respect a good, listen, I watched myself on TV. It was a bad edit.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
You know, at least try that. But these girls were like, no, Daisy sucks. No, you suck. And I'm glad that she did this to you because neither one of you deserve it.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
That girl has taken every dick in front of us. We must stop her.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Well, what are their normal hours of rest? Every hour is a moment of rest. All right. So then it goes to Danny, who's calling Cloycey Cloyce. And she's like, I've just been in laundry pretty much the whole day again. Hi, guess what? You're a stew on a boat. Yeah. What are you going to be mad at the snuggle bear for constantly being thrown in the dryer?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So now, while shit talking, while shit talking, Daisy, that's not how it works, ma'am. Okay. You need to kiss a little butt. All she does this entire episode is shit. Talk, Daisy, talk about what a bitch she is, what a terrible boss she is. And then she's mad. She doesn't get to go.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Well, you know, squeaky wheels. Everyone says squeaky wheel gets the grease. And you know my saying, squeaky wheel gets taken off the car and changed with a non-squeaky wheel.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So then, let's see. Gary is tattletailing on Keith because he's in bed. And she's like, Gary, stop it. And then Gary's giving her a massage. And he's like, I've never seen Keith giving you a back massage. She's like, well, you've never seen Keith make my back break out in odd sores that can't be explained for months either.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I like that energy. Did anyone else just feel their boner go down as she was talking about Keith? Not my literal boner, but my figurative boner, I guess, because she's just like, and then there's Keith. Safe, secure, low in sodium. Good for the heart. It's like, oh, Jesus Christ. Keith needs to end up with fucking Ellery. Keith, the arm talker. Let me tell you.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Did you notice this week how he does that?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I can't wait. Thin feels better than cake tastes, or whatever they say. By the way, that's not true.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
By the way, thin does not feel better than cake tastes. I've been thin-ish. I've never been thin. I've been thin-ish, and let me tell you, cake is better. Now, can I tie my shoes more when I'm thinner? Sure. Can I wear clothes from more than Old Navy online? Sure. Cake's still better.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
That should be her name. I was always hoping that would happen to her, that one day Kate Moss would be like, fuck it. I'm so sorry for heroin chic, everybody. Every day on Instagram, I'm going to be eating a cake. Just call me Cake Moss. Cake Moss.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I should do that. I should make a Cake Moss Instagram and then just start posting myself eating cake every day and model shots. That could be a drag persona. No, not in drag cake. You know why I won't do drag, right? I will be beat up by other drag queens, not by straight people, not by homophobic people, by actual drag queens. They will drag me for filth. Okay, that's not about me.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
It is about Cake Moss, so I'm writing that down. New Instagram.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Well, the ball's a mess. I'm sorry, but hopefully I'll get it done real quick. And Danny's like, somebody get my fucking pumpkin because I'm Cinderella and Daisy is my evil stepmother. This bitch will prevent me from going to the ball. You were never invited to the ball.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
And let me tell you, the second you left your damn payless over there would be the last you saw of it because no prince would be showing up at the door trying to claim it.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Yeah, stop stealing all the balls. So then Deanna's like, well, she's doing it on purpose because she's mad at Danny, and now it's affecting me. Also, you're boring, okay? Drag queens don't want to hang out with you. I'm sorry. You seem like a fairly nice girl 80% of the time. Them drag queens do not want you, girl. Those drag queens probably said, do not bring those girls. Don't do it.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
They've already got Ellery. Okay. Yeah. Keith is talking about the plan. So they're making the drag show plan, you know, the guys. They're like, oh my God, we have to wear wigs. It's so wacky. And dinner's being planned. And Cloyce is like, last night's dinner was absolutely terrible. So these charter guests have grandiose personalities and I'm going to give them a meal to match.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Truffles, caviar, then I'm going to do mushrooms on another thing. Then I'm going to do another fish with mushrooms. And then I'm going to do another fish with mushrooms.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
They're all very much tragic drag queens. And they do it in that way that's like, we're still straight guys, you can tell, right? You know, where they don't fully commit. They're just like, let's get some neon wigs. In fact, I think they're the same neon wigs we see all the time. Do they just keep those now in the props?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
That's what life's all about. So Daisy's like, before we start dinner, we have a little surprise for you drag queens. Without further ado, to emcee your fashion show is Princess La Queefa.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
And then next up is- That's like a cheese stick in man form. I was like, okay, well, that one makes more sense.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Davideva? Davideva.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
And then... My drag main name would be Gorgonzola. I don't know why. It's not really funny or anything.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Really? I mean, he's flung himself over tables and fallen down a lot, but drag?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
chase comes out he is chastity thundercock um which would oh chase city i get it because his name is chase that's like chastity by the way we just we didn't talk about the part where we got to see his wiener outline when he was putting on his dress i just want to say again wow okay go ahead it was i was like am i seeing what i'm seeing right now i'm sure was that even real or was that like one of the fake ones people use on twitter
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
There were so many functions happening.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
It was like pointing to, it was like, I'm with stupid. You know, it was pointing to Danny.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
But you know, the bad tattoos. Yeah. Um, probably Gary. Really? I think Keith looked the best. I think he looked adorable. It's a cute face.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Courtney. He looked like, it was like a Courtney with slightly more personality. Yeah.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Okay. Now, you know, we've just gotten a drag show. So what do we get for dinner? Salad. Mixed green salad. But it does have a Parmesan emulsion. And so Detox is like, oh, yes, I'm here for a Parmesan emulsion. And they all laugh because the drag queen said it.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So he's like, you have lobster crepe. I grated an ounce of truffle into the crepe. I like that he's like, an ounce of truffle, yeah. And so they love it. But then, well, first we get Danny complaining that she doesn't get to go to the club, which of course. And she's like, I wish I was going to the club. And Chloe's like, it sounds like the worst thing ever.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
She's like, I know, but I want to so badly. I just want to...
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So the guys have to dock the boat and drag. That's funny. The first thing that was served looked really good. Was it polenta or something with the mushroom or whatever? The lobster crepe or whatever. That looked delicious. But then he's serving fish again with more mushroom. Why? Why are you doing that?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
It looked fine. You know, although mushroom and asparagus puree doesn't sound okay, but you know what? I'm going to get off his ass because he made a crepe and that's like my favorite thing. That's one of my favorite things.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Mushroom ketchup?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
It was something like- Doesn't it just look like baby poo?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
All the fun of ketchup. That would be your fun. That would be your drag name. All the fun of ketchup.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
No, I like all the fun of ketchup. All the fun of ketchup. All the fun of ketchup.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
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Investing involves risk. Acorn Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash cravens. So then, um, Cloyce is like, they may think they've seen it all, but I have to say, this chef does, in fact, have a few tricks that you may not have seen yet.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Well, I can't make anything disappear, so. Unless it's a cake.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I'm sorry, I'm on Instacart ordering cake. You can do that. I literally did a magic trick for you and you didn't even watch. I'm so sorry. I was like, oh, he's busy.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Whoa. Oh my God. Were you holding Chase's wiener earlier? That's amazing.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Also the people who have the video. I'm just kidding.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
David Copperfield. That would be my magician name. David Copperfield. Here he comes. Oh my God, there's David Copperfield. He's been canceled for filling up cake.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Okay, so the chefs, I mean the chefs, the guests are getting ready to... I'm sorry, what are you saying? Danny Blame. Instead of David Blaine, Danny Blame. I like that you're still workshopping it. It's like this season on Below Deck Down Under, you're like, David Blaine.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Isn't Carrot Slop a magician or is he only a comic? Carrot Slop.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
All the fun of ketchup. Okay, so everybody's getting ready to go out and the boys decide to just stay dressed how they are because why not? Um, and then, um, now they're going over plans for the next day. So Keith is like, what's the plan for departure and everything. And Glen's like the plan is, and Chase says zero drinking, zero tolerance.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Glen's like, well, that would be normal policy on board, but if you're going to keep these guests entertained, no one, none of this, no two drinks. That's it. Two drinks. And you guys are back on the boat at two o'clock and anybody forfeiting the rules tonight. will be forfeiting their share of nurses from the cave.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Oh, nothing, you know, just plugging along, just going through it. That's my meme I would say. I'm still here. Everything's good. Just getting ready for the crappies, getting all these shiny things delivered to my house to wear, getting music ready, you know, and then watching my bravs. What more can you really ask for from life?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Yeah. And, you know, Deanna does have a point in this that it is always her. I mean, I guess. I hear her say that the most, so I guess I'm assuming that that's the truth. But who cares? It's your job. Do your fucking job. So Daisy's like, my sole purpose of my job as chief stew is to make sure the guests get what they want and when they want it. And that's what being a good host is.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So she's like, they think this is going to be fun, but I want to be in fucking bed. You know?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
She does kind of, she does kind of give those gremlin vibes that like really hot girl gremlin. with the block. Yeah.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
She's like the lady gremlin, whatever, whatever the lady gremlin. I mean, she's very pretty Lola, but I could totally see her playing that gremlin gremlin role. Okay. So, um, Danny, so yeah, so now Danny and Deanna are talking and Danny's like, she told me to tell you to get a bit at midnight and she goes, but then she changed her mind and they're like, oh my God, let's kill her.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
But wait, I only get eight hours sleep. You get nine.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I mean, the world is like quite literally burning down around us, but at the same time, we're having so much fun. Yeah. I don't know. It's a cluster of emotions, that's for sure. But guess what? You know what? I'll tell you where emotions are more understandable on Below Deck Sailing because Ben got one more hour of sleep than I did last night. And you know what? That's it. I'm done.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Yeah, I think that they just think they'll get away with it. I think Daisy is of the mindset that if she's not fall down drunk, she'll be fine. And she knows what she can handle. And also, I think Daisy gets off a lot lighter on this show because Gary's there. I think if she was drinking as hard as she was every night without Gary there, people would be like, something's wrong with Daisy.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Daisy's got an issue. But because Gary's there, he kind of overshadows her. And also, she can hold her liquor better. She's fine when they get back to the boat.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
She seems fine.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Yeah. As usual. So then the girls are pissed now. They're like, I don't give a fucking. Tiana's like, I'm not standing up for her anymore. Who cares? Who needs you fucking standing up for her? The only reason you have to stand up for her is because you're working with fucking, you know, Satan over there. He's dissing her every two seconds.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
But I thought you liked mushroom ketchup. You're right. She's garbage ketchup.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
she's peach ketchup so diana's like i try to understand daisy but at this point she's doing job managing time excuse me ma'am when you last time didn't daisy end up saying i'll do this you go to bed because apparently you're not happy and she's like oh she's passive aggressive but daisy still stayed up all night to do your job because you complained
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
And I think that was Daisy's mistake was giving in even a little bit and being passive aggressive instead of just saying, this is your fucking job. Okay. Cry on your own time.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Yeah, stupid. So then Deanna's just complaining and complaining, and now she agrees with Danny, and then Danny's telling us, maybe I helped her, maybe I inspired her. I think Daisy's used to students that just shut up and take it. Actually, no, she's not. And that's why you're not really bothering her all that much, you know? And maybe Deanna and I'll say it again.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I'm off this boat. I'm back to Putin. I'm going back to Putin.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I think she's used to dudes that do their job. Well, she's not really used to that either. I mean, we've been watching this show long enough. Daisy is used to a clusterfuck. And you are one. But you're like a blip on her radar. You're like a problem that's going to be gone very soon. You know? Yeah. You're not lucky enough to be like herpes that keeps coming back. You're like chlamydia.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
You're like an antibiotic shot away.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Yeah, not imbibe. You didn't say imbibe. And so now the drink counter is going off. She's had three drinks. Keith has had two and Gary's had four after he just did a shot. And now it's time to go to the nightclub. And so now Danny and Deanna are still bitching and back to the club. Chase is like, let's not fucking drink too much tonight, guys. This is huge wiener guy telling you this.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Y'all have to listen to me.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Because that is gone right now. Literally five minutes later. I love that HR probably had some talk with him and he's like,
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
And, you know, 10 minutes later, he's like, okay, you got that on an episode. Just watch that over and over again.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
he's like you know in certain animals they can't fucking reproduce without the microbes it's crazy so then um you know chase is like oh god when are we gonna leave guys because it's a quarter to two so chase gets them all out of there they all leave uh good little boy chase does it and they do gary has now had 10 drinks
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I mean, been there. I, maybe in college, in college- I didn't go to college, okay? My college was my twenties and my thirties and half of my forties.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
You're right. It's just, like, a very heavy drinker. I... I just can't go there with you. You know what I mean? I'm like, I'm support you on this path, Ben. I'm just not next to you. I'm behind you swerving.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Okay, well, come up with another opening then. Just kidding.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
And he ruins it. He kind of ruins it for everybody, you know? And also he's a boss. So he's, I don't, I think that if he had kind of stayed within and Keith is an adult, but Keith also is like, you know, you know, oh, they're doing it. Why not have another couple of drinks? Obviously it'll be fine. So if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff too?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
If they've jumped off a cliff with fucking shots of Adderall and the Coke and Lola's Bustier, fuck yeah, I would.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Hey! Speaking of Jupiter, I told you, but I'm going to Jupiter, Florida this weekend. For a 30-year reunion of all the apprentices that did that stuff at the Burt Reynolds Dinner Theater back in the day. I cannot believe it. That was my college, actually. Speaking of college and Jupiter, that was mine. So, wish me luck. Wow. Drops of Jupiter.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Ben had five drinks only last night. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. So many dings. My God. If there was a ding going off every time I had a damn French fry when I was promising not to eat one, I'd be fucking tonight as Joe over here. Yeah. Tonight is Joe. Maybe I should go with tonight is Tim.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Yeah, Ellery purposely throws them under the bus, which I thought was gross. I mean, I'm kind of on Lola's side against Ellery. I think Ellery's an asshole too. So then Glenn was like, great Daisy, did you have fun? She goes, we did have fun. And she seems soberish, right? I'm sure she doesn't smell it as she passes right by him.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
And Detox is like, Glenn, this is my daughter and I swear she's sober and she's going to bed, which was also kind of a bus throw. But Gary, there's no hiding it with Gary, you know? So Gary kind of is the bus rolling under itself.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So yeah, he might've gotten away with it if he just went to bed, but instead he goes down to bed and then climbs out like an escape hatch or something. And he's like, And so now he is wasted on deck.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
He's just like sitting there chain smoking, talking to himself. And the captain can see all this, you know? So meanwhile, Lola is talking shit to Daisy at the bar and she's like, it's more of a pain in the ass. Ellery or Lola? Oh no. Who's talking to Ellery?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I know. Very exorcism-y. So Detox is like, well, don't be upset, Lola, when someone snaps back at you the way that you snapped at them. That's my note. And Lola's like, don't even. You're a little aggressor the entire time with me, too. So no, no, never mind. Everyone, everyone, do not mind Lola, okay? So then Lola turns to Daisy and she's like, I am so sick of it.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I'm so sick of her being a cut fitness to me.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I'm so glad someone finally said that because he's like, you know what?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
He can't find anything in there. He's just rifling through his purse trying to find another cigarette.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Yeah, we both had our little Euro bags. I had one too.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
There was something really cute in your little Merce. And you had a much nicer one than me. I feel like I had one off the street that I bought somewhere just for $10. But you had a fierce one. You went shopping online for years and got a really nice one.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
uh for these uh these drag queens to eat dinner without losing their mind and unfortunately lola lola who started off the charter very friendly uh has revealed herself to be like a nut to be a useless a useless cow and let me tell you she's not useless actually because uh i kind of love her and i love her because here's what i love tacky people who don't understand they're tacky and then they make everyone's life hell because they're tacky and ignorant
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Rebecca Minkoff gave us mercies?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Oh, my God. Okay, you have to show me tomorrow when we record that show. I'll show it on the show tomorrow.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
okay gary you're not one to talk so glenn i think that gary uh knows that he can't be fired basically because gary this is a sailboat it's not just a regular boat where you can just hire anybody to come on this is a sailing yacht and i don't think that they have as many people in that workforce that could do what gary does and that's why he gets away with all this shit he'll probably be back next season what do you think
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I think they might keep him for next season.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Yeah. So Daisy, you know, he comes to bed and he's like... I'm drunk. And she's like, go to bed, Gary. You are a bit drunk. And he's like, no, I'm not. I'm sober. So she's like, I believe that Gary wants to change. And then he spirals again. It's just so self-destructive.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Well, I don't like what he does to people, but as far as what he does to himself, I mean, I don't know. I pass dumpsters every day, and I don't think about what's in them. I just keep driving. Wish them the best. He's pushed me too far. I don't care. I mean, I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I just don't think about it.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Raging 100%. So now the next morning, Daisy compliments the girls on the boat. And Deanna's like, yeah, it was crazy. She goes, the cabins were? She goes, yeah, I want to sleep. And she goes, nearly there, girl. A few more days, you can do it.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Purposely, you know?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
She's an angry poop believer. Yeah. So now it's breakfast time and Daisy knows she's in trouble. And Gary's like, I can see his E-T-G-W-T-E. So then Danny is basically Daisy's radio, radioing for everybody to change. And Danny's like, why am I scared? And Diana's like, I know how I am and I don't say things right away.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
And the last time you had another extra hour, she said, oh, I'm giving you an extra hour as well. And she didn't. And I still haven't seen all that extra hour. It didn't make sense.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
kind of cracking me up how she's like what is this a cheese stick and ball form it's called a fucking croquette you classless wench like what is wrong with you you know i'm so embarrassed for her but i'm also like i love it yeah um i guess this this is just gonna add fuel to the fire because what i was alluding to before with the traders is that uh drag race fans are feuding with housewives fans at the moment oh hell no
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Bon voyage, motherfuckers. And Glenn's like, all right, hold on a second. I got a special surprise for you.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Damn it, he upstaged my honk.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I wish that Daisy had said, you know, I know that you got shafted on the hour, but girlfriend was downstairs all day in laundry while you got to serve and be in the sun. So I felt like it was only fair. You know, whatever. I wish she had come up with something, but she still gets defensive, you know, but I think she handles it.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I think she handles her emotions well, but you still see Daisy getting like, oh, really? Fair enough. But the days were crazy, and I'll make sure the next time that you get made up for it. She goes, but it's already the second time that it's happened, so it's, like, annoying. And I don't make the management of the hours. You are the one. And you still got eight hours. What are you—
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So she's like, oh my God, I got eight hours rest and she got nine. Listen to yourself. You know, she's like, I think I stand up for my girls. I look after them. And of course I'm getting pushback. That's a running pattern. It's exhausting. So then Keith checks in with her and she's like, I cannot stand those bitches. And she's like, yeah, he's like, yeah, they're whiny. And so he supports her.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So she's like, oh my God, you're just like a saltine cracker. I can't wait to eat you while I crave something better.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So he's like, how many did I tell you to have? Two. Okay. Keith, Keith had missed a four or five. Daisy, Daisy words to this. I had two drinks and two shots and two bitches downstairs bitching about me the whole time.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So Chase and Chase is like, I had one beer. I'm a good boy. And he's like, that's it? One beer. And she's like, yeah, Chase is true. He's had one beer. And so Glenn's like, well, I don't want to take your tip. But if I set a rule and I tell you the consequences and I don't follow through, that's a fucking free for all, isn't it? And Gary just starts freaking out.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Idiot. And so Glenn's like, well, I'm up till 2 or 3 a.m. chasing you guys into bed. Gary's like, which I've never seen in my life before, Glenn. Like, he's mad at Glenn for making him go to bed. This guy's unbelievable.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I don't think that that's fair for drag race people to come for us. You do not kick off housewives first. What kind of drag queen is standing up for another drag queen that's murdering housewives? That is disgusting behavior. Get it together over there. We need to support each other, not kill each other off. And that's absolutely ridiculous. Killing off all the fabulous women.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
And you were completely fucked up. And so Gary's like, well, you can fine, just take 100% from me then.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
he's going to that's the fucking point right yeah yeah you don't get to prove it yeah yeah glenn's like i don't think your attitude's right and he's like so the guests are requesting to us to drink so then he goes no gary don't confuse things you were not forced to drink and he's like yes he's like no you were not forced to drink i did not say at any point that you have to drink you knew the rules you broke the fucking rules and now guess what you're getting
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Although I don't, I know that's not realistic, but you know, I think any other show would, but again, I think this one just can't.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
He has to know how to do the sails and fix the sails when they go off the rail and do all that stuff. And the motherfucker just dropped a shackle in the water. So they're not going to trust Chase to do it.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C, Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kerr.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay B. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Yes, we can-a. It's Sedana.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. Give him hell, Miss Noel. Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
They're usually ever so classy. The challenge is looking bad right now.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I like Lola. Listen, Lola's just doing drag queen things. You can't get a drag queen on a boat and then be like, don't be bitchy to people. Like, that's her thing. That's what she does. Like, she's on stage. She's going to be bitchy. The one I really have a problem with is for every answer. That fucking shut up and go away. He is literally the worst. And he says anal 10 times in an episode.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Like, we get it. You're in your butthole, okay? Like, we don't need it as a running joke in our whole, like, in our entire fucking three-episode arc or whatever we're doing here, people. Okay, can that queen. But I think keep bitchy Lola, you know?
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I'll spell her name.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I don't know who she is. I think she is. It sounds like celery, like the most useless vegetable. I just feel so bad for her. I think she's somebody's sister, so they brought her on, and she's trying to go up against a drag queen. Ellery, go braid your hair.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Because Lola's being told off by a normie girl with bad hair. Like he is not having it.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Seriously. He's like, you're in cotton. I'm not listening to you.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Okay, so we're worried about smoke under Cloysus Cloysus, which I think is a very good business name, actually. Cloysus Cloysh. Cloysus Cloysh.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
And then at the end of the day, you could say Cloysus Cloysus Cloysus. Wait. Cloysus Cloysus Cloysus Cloysus.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Cloysus Cloysus is closed.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Well, not anymore.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Ellery is like yoga pants.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
Okay, so everyone's worried. He can't get the little lighter lit. And, you know, it's very, very dramatic, you know. And Kloys is like, whoa, you know, trouble's brewing for Kloys' clothes.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So, um... They luckily Lola has just had a fucking diva fit and left to do Coke in the bathroom, which we all know is what she's doing because she never eats one damn bite of anything. That's why she's complaining. She's like, I'm not eating this because it's terrible. No, it's not. Your nose is eating more than everybody at this table and you fucking know it.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
That's also why I like her because you know, my ass would be following her down there. I hated that mozzarella stick too.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So, no, you can't. But Lola has run to the bathroom to do coke, allegedly by me. And then now there's one person missing from the table. So, luckily, the empty one, the one without smoke, the smoke-free cloche, gets pulled off. And it doesn't matter because there's not anybody there to be like, where's my smoke, bitch? So, he lucked out on that one.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
And Lola's like, wow, this is really great. I was not here. Oh, no, Lola. Wow, this is really great. I was not here for the cheese stick and a ball, but I'm here for this.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
But I'll tell you this. I think Cloyce knows his audience. And he's heard anal so many times that he's just serving the emoji for anal, which is a peach.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
So Gary is telling Chase, what didn't you get you, bitch? And Chase is like, I'll be okay. I'm the best worker there is. I don't need naps. You know what I eat? Ours for breakfast. That's what I eat. And Gary's annoyed because he's being, you know, good little boy and trying not to take breaks. But this could endanger the boat.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
And Gary hates endangering the boat, especially by being fall down drunk, which he has been about 90% of this. Yes.
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#2687 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E14: Getting Anal About The Rules
I know we're not even blaming like any boss for it. Cause we are each other's boss, I guess. Yeah. We're blaming age. Okay. You know, who's the ultimate boss age. Are you just like, you will not sleep now. Guess what you're going to do.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Why are we acting like they're doing the guests a favor? The guest has to go on a bar crawl, and instead you're making them drink in the living room? Yeah.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Well, I thought she was just trying to move it out of the laundry room, but it was this huge table that she wasn't folding to move. I didn't really understand what was happening.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Okay, let's get to the part now that we've all been waiting for, the part where Vihan apologizes to Johnny for putting him in a dangerous situation by not listening to everybody and keeping that wave runner off the ocean. Just kidding. So Johnny comes in and Vihan's like, okay, boys, give us debrief because jet ski does not just capsize. I'm not on the jet ski. You're there. What happened?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
What happened? You sent out a leaking jet ski, bro.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
I was like, I mean, I should have assessed the situation, but you need to put it in the water. And if water's coming in and Johnny's like, yeah, remember when they put it in the water and then it came out and it had water coming out and they said, no, that means there's a leak and there's water coming out. And he said, that's normal. Don't act like they didn't do this gas lighter.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So Jason, Vian, Vian, do you want to come to the bridge? All right, so what happened? And Jason, I love that Jason's just kind of bored with it all face. He's like, all right, mate, what happened? He's like, I saw everything. And he goes, so you saw it happen? He's like, yeah, I had a debrief with Johnny and he was driving the jet ski, not Johnny.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
As they were turning, she took her hand off the throttle and then the whole thing capsized. And Jason's like,
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Right. And so Vian's like, um, well, and his eyes are wide because he knows he's caught. He's like, well, this morning we lifted up and I see that the whole thing is full of water and I drank it out and I put it in the water. And he's like, all right, well, let's not try to cover it up. You know, and that's the that's the that's the slogan of my kimono line. You know, don't really try.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah, do like we do on this boat. We do not want leaky crewmates on this boat, all right? Spreads. Spreads. Or boundaries.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So he's like, yeah, this could have been a massive mistake. Could have had an injury. Could have had a loss. Could have had a death. Vion made a poor judgment call, and I know it's not going to happen again. I shall reward him by making somebody else wear the helmet of stupidity tonight. Otherwise, he'd better watch out. He better watch out.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Oh, by the way, someone wrote us a message and said they heard on another podcast that the sous chef did find, he did leave for another job, but it didn't last long. So it's nice to know that that little fucker probably got fired from that job.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So she looks at her and continues to drink the Pine Sol or whatever she's drinking. I'm not sure what it is, but it looks scary. And so Marina's like, okay, awkward, awkward. Now it's second day of charter. And Lara has so much to do. She's like, oh, and by the way, Vion, I've heard a rumor that someone's a world-class stripper. So in the captain's lounge, you're going to strip.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
She's crazy. Yeah, it's like, hopefully there's not someone named Tina lined up because anyone with that kind of rhyme, they love me. They just love me, man.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So what are you going to do now? And he's like, I don't know. You know, actually, I'm so confused. I haven't even given attention to anyone except for gone on a date with that girl and, you know, flirted with Serena every five minutes, you know. But if anything, I've given attention to fucking Adair. I mean, girls, when you kiss them, they might feel a little bit a certain way.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
You know what I mean? And Harry's like, that's what happens when you're so good looking.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
They're cracking up. They're like, oh my God, a boy heard us talking about him. She's like, we're just eating strawberry colored chocolate. It's like, ooh, I'm not listening.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So weird. And also why does this girl need to have a discussion about every single thing? I think he's clear about liking you and making out with you every time he sees you. She's like, I'm just getting such mixed signals from Harry. It's just so crazy. I'm like, what part of waking up every morning, staring into your eyes and kissing you and saying, I hope we can do this forever.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So, all right, I've got a string. It's tied in a circle. I'm going to put it in my fingers and make different shapes. And you're going to put your hand through. And then I'm going to magically make the string back into a circle. Anybody down? She's like, oh, God.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
I will get this fillet comment. And no matter when it is like the Southern hospitality recap, you're like, oh yeah, by the way, just wanted to say those fillets. They did look good. Those were nice big filets. They weren't skimping on the filets.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
It's starting to feel malicious. I have to say, I would agree. Normally, I'm like, well, you know, you're staying in a hotel room. If it's dirty, that's your job to clean it. But these ladies are, like, overly rude about it. It's almost like they're taking everything out of their suitcase and throwing it to different parts of the room on purpose. Like, there's shit hanging off lamps.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
How do you do this?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
No, this one's particularly bad. For whatever reason, whenever they show the room, it's like, Jesus, what are you guys doing in this room? It's like a poltergeist went in there, went crazy, got mad about it. I know. So Marina, and also Marina is getting completely ignored by her man. So she's in a really bad mood. So she's like, oh, it's just too much.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
You'd only see splashing. But then every time the camera went underwater, they were in, like, two feet of water. I was like, okay. I know. I know we need some drama on this show. But come on now. It's two feet. Still, though, you know, if you're scared of water. I mean, if you're scared of water, don't get on a jet ski. Obvi. But, you know, you're on a boat. I get it. You know, she was scared.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
i need help with the cabins so they're sending adair and marina just keeps repeating if she sees the dirty room she's like i love my job i love my job so she tells adair what to do and adair goes adair sounds like some kind of a bird just just you know when birds aren't really calling they're just like i'm here she's just like
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
It was crazy. I can see that happening because you know, when I moved into the, when I moved back to LA, I get this house, I'm so excited. I put all this remodeling and you know, it's like months and months of construction and Jack hammering and this and that. So I finally get up to the house and I'm in there the first night and it's just silence.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
And I can hear the birds, you know, like tweet, tweet, tweet. I can hear like nature. I'm like, this is fucking amazing. I can't believe that this is happening in LA. And then I just hear. I was like, what the fuck? So I thought it was an aberration. You know, I don't worry about it. So I just, you know, relax again. And then I hear it.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
And I look and the neighbors have a fucking parrot and it's sitting right. And they have two and they're sitting right in the kitchen window. And that shit never stopped. Thank God they moved because I was to the point. I was like, how do I kill those birds?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
I can only be calm by causing the rest of the world anxiety. Go fuck yourself with your anxiety if that's what it is. I'll fucking shove those birds down your throat.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
The real villain here is... Vian, but you know, I don't hate Vian still. I feel like the show's telling me they're giving me all of the signs that I should hate Vian, but I don't. Why?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So she ended up getting, she ended up getting anxiety herself. And then the only call, the only cure was birds. So she had to get parrots herself. And then it was just like a cycle that never stopped. And she never, I mean, for me, I was just like birds, learn some fucking language. Like, have you heard of evolution?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Like parrot something, you know, like even if the birds were like, Polly want a cracker or like, fuck you, John, or whatever the birds here, you know, do that. But just a pair, two parrots sitting next door, just going meh.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah, they have a whole show on one of the murder networks, you know, the networks that are like all dedicated to murder shows. And they come up with like random things for murder. They're like, ladies who knit getting murdered. And that's like the whole show. Every episode is like a lady who knits who got murdered. But this one is about your neighbors going crazy. It's like neighbor fights.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
And then it escalates to the point where a neighbor kills their neighbor. And they're all terror. And I'm sure that there's like a parrot story in there. There has to be a parrot story.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
All right. So back to this. Marina's miserable, which somehow led to this. So then Serena sends up her fish, which are fabulous, fabulous fillets.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah. And it has a passion fruit sauce, and they love it. And then they're like, but do I have to eat this with a spoon? This is weird. Do you have a spoon?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah. So weird. And so Marina's like, are you there? She's radioing her. Adair, are you there? And she's like, what's up? And she's like, I mean, are you still helping? Hey, Laura, is she still helping me with the cabins? And she's like, she should be. And so Dara's just like, on my way. So she's like, what happened to you? And she goes, what do you mean?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
She goes, well, you just did the bed and left. And she's like, I mean, I went to the rooms and turned down the beds.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So now the boys are changing into stripper outfits and we get Vihan's story. He's like, I do enjoy performing. I was a shirtless waiter at Beefcakes. It's a gay bar, usually around nine o'clock. And then we get the visual of the clock turning to nine for some reason. He's like, we take off our shirt and we do body shots on us. Right here, shot glass from chest to penis. Human shot glass.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
You just have to be careful what bar you're at. Cause you know, some of those bars, some of them, you just don't want, you don't want a shot. Like you wouldn't ask for that at like foo bar. Not that that's around anymore. But back in the day, no one wants a shot from a place that smells like bleach and socks.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
But either way, Laura's mad. I've never had a junior crew member pick and choose what jobs they want to do. Like, this is your job. You do what your superior tells you to do, and that's it. Now I can't wait to not say anything to her about it. I know, right? Laura's the biggest, like, talker into the camera to us, but she's not, she doesn't really do anything with everybody else.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
She's just like, eh, I'll tell Jason about it.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
But I'm with you on this. I don't need that. You know what I mean? Like if I walked in and the captain was like in a kimono, that's a tiny little kimono too, you know? It was like a White Lotus kimono where you're waiting for his wiener to just pop out like that dude from White Lotus. Like keep that inside, you know? Like maybe if it's boner time, he's a cute guy.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
It's not like he's Jabba the Hutt or anything, he's cute. But I don't know, it's like maybe if it's boner time, but not just, not right now. I don't know. It's weird timing to just walk in and see him just laying there in his kimono.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah. Well, anything other than a protein shake today? Come here. Have some of these French fries.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So Jason says the captain's land, their exclusive VIP only. It's where you get to relax, put your feet up, and you never know who might stop by.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
I'm going to stop by with a pair of pajama pants for you.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
My man, wear whatever you want.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah. So Marina is in love. She's like, I want to kiss this gorgeous man, throw him on the wall. We kiss, we go back to work, such a good date, but then he disappeared. What's the deal? What's the deal with that? Beefcakes are supposed to be trustworthy men. And so they're all going on about the Captain's Lounge and stuff. And the strip dance, what Suspense did, I didn't mind that. So what is it?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
No. Why didn't I mind that?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
All right, good night, good night. He's like- So he's sitting there now, she leaves and he's just sitting there now with, what's her buns, Marina. And she's looking at her phone and he's just looking at his watch. He's like, okay, well, gotta go then, goodnight." She's like, bye. So then Harry checks in with Brie and we have a really romantic moment. He's like, are you done?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Are you going to bed now? And she's like, yeah, are you done? He's like, sleep well while I filled your water bottle up and I put it in the crew mess somewhere. What do you think about that? He's like, thank you. Goodnight. She's like, oh, I don't like being the one to make the first move with a water bottle and just having it ignored.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
And she's like, I want to know where Harry stands. I mean, we go on a date, but we don't discuss anything. I mean, does he even know my parents owned an ice cream shop? Does he know I used to date a model and I almost settled down in New Jersey? What does he know?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
I love that he has no patience for Vion. He tells him, that is something you should figure out yourself. Like, don't talk to me about it. I want to hear about this. And poor Vion's like, but listen to Adair, her voice. It's like poetry.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
She always goes to tattle to Jason instead of taking care of her own shit. That's bizarre. So he's like, well, I guess I'm part of this now. What's Adair up to now? Someone's going to go. Should I send them now? Should I send them later? So you need to tell her to be inside. So Vian comes in and he's like, where is she? What's Adair up to? And he's like, oh, she just came outside.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
He's like, well, have you told her to be inside? All right. I need communication on this boat.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So as Vian leaves, he's like, this fucking annoys me so much. Um, which this one I can imagine why, because perhaps he's supposed to know the girl's not making the beds or cleaning the toilets, whatever.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Well, he's not saying he's has the only right to a dare. Is he?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Just a general note. I just think he's always giving me shit. Like, jeez, I can't even do anything right. Which is not incorrect. Laura radios, and she's like, um, Vian Vian, can we have a day help with the guest cabins, please? And he's like, oh, God. And Adair's like, that's annoying. That's annoying.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
he's like all right well can we start her on the deck and then move her to interior she's like okay okay so now marina is working on the cabins and then larabri and serena are dancing like yeah the guests are sad it's their last day and everything and um now it's time to lift the the anchors and everything so they're gonna do they're gonna do anchors are gonna go up
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
No, you want me to feel safe? Hold my groceries. Okay. Don't hold me. Hold my car battery as you change it. You know what I mean? Do something.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah, so somebody new is coming. And I did not know any of this information you just gave me, so I thought it was going to be the other Alicia. And I was like, her hair looks great. So they're doing the cabin swap and all that good stuff. And Adair's like, I hope we get a lot of money today. And Marina's like, okay, since we're here, listen, the bed, amazing. You're doing great job.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
But just make sure the towels are clean. There's clean floors. You know, we need more. And she's like, well, I wasn't meaning to leave you yesterday. It's just like, sometimes I do the needs and then I get dragged off. You know, there's like food to eat. There's drinks to drinks.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
They're like gel cutlets, you know?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
And poor Bree's like, oh, my God, those boobs are getting more from Harry than me. I just need to have a talk about it.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
It's like, you'll be okay in this two feet of water. Let me hold you. And he's like, I'm gonna, he's like, grab the handle. I'm push you up. I'm slowly. She's like, oh my God, I'm bleeding. I'm dying. I've been cut by a coral. Well, think about how the coral feels. It's like, how much of these fucking people already put me through. And now I have somebody kicking me.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
All right, all right. First, we've got to talk about the Helmet of Death. We're getting $15,000, so that's great, everybody, for 48 hours. Not bad. All right, the Helmet of Death is going to... I'm just kidding, because we worked at Beefcakes. I respect the game. Please be one of my models for Captain's Lounge.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
The one going under the bus is Johnny, who saved a woman's life and dragged her back after her leg was almost decapitated, delegated by a coral.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Man's greatest enemy, the Great Coral Reef. Thankfully, we've almost killed the thing, everybody. So, for a few more super yacht trips right over it, we should have it dead in no time.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Listen, it's been a couple of months since a Below Deck franchise has had sexual complaints, sexual abuse, harassment complaints. So I think we need to get that taken care of tonight. Get on it, Disco Head.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah, Serena's like, what's wrong with settling? Without settling, we wouldn't have countries, would we? We'd just be traveling all the time, you know?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
She's baby Caroline Stanbury face. It's crazy. That's all I could see once I saw it. I was like, wow. I'm Stan Perry. So she meets everybody, and we find out a little bit about her. She's like, I first got into yachting as a deck chief. I love food. I like the smell. I love the color. But I'm starting green, to be honest. I'm going to wing it, but hopefully it'll work out.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Jesus, why don't you just piss on me while you're here?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
I didn't even know where the seashells was. Why would you build a town on a seashell? How do you make streets? There's everything on wheels. It just goes back and forth. Idiotic. Right.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
I can't wait to see what she serves spoons with just instinctually and what she doesn't. This is going to be great for science. So they all go out and they're having dinner and everyone's in a great mood because they've got a new person, which means the guys are just going to ask stupid questions now. And...
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
We can't even go so far as to whip out pictures of children because that's like the most desperate move when a guy's like, oh, let me show you my niece and nephews. Like, oh.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
What's your hair color? How old are you? What year were you from? And she goes, I'm 25. And Johnny goes, oh, 98. Like, yeah, look at me, math, mathing it up. She's like, actually 99. So... Yeah.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Johnny's like, I went to prom one time. Look at me dance.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So she does. She comes and she, she walks right up to him and she gives him a rose and then she grabs his head and he like puts his head in her chest. He's like, oh yeah. And he hugs her close. But then to us, he's going, oh, fuck, my heart is with Adair.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Surely if I just lap dance on her face, maybe she'll get the right impression.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah, but then to Serena, it looks like he's saying the same thing, but it's not exactly the same thing. To her, he says, you're such a cool girl. Honestly, I cannot be in love with everyone. I think you're an amazing person. You're fucking amazing. She's like, I know. So did he break up with Serena, too?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So he said, I have feelings for Adair, too, Serena.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah, so I was trying to figure out your half credit.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah, yeah, okay.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
five seconds yeah johnny darling i've literally met you for five seconds please he's like but a beast has awakened it's a little boner put it away please put it in your waistband like you do the rest of the days on this boat i've just come here all right i shall not be given away in the first five minutes because that's what the guys try and do they're like oh new girl who can get her first jumper
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
And I was like, I was, I was very, very, uh, I was very concerned because you make it on coral and then guess what sharks like blood, you know, and then they smell it in the water and then come eat you. It's like how strippers smell French fries on me and they come all around me.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
She's a model. So then Serena, who's just been dumped… even though she wasn't in a relationship with this guy, but she was just told not interested, goes up to Vian and takes his shirt. And she's like, you, come into the van with me.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So, in the other car, they're gossiping, and Lara's like, did Vion have a conversation with you tonight? And Harry's like, tell me! Tell me! And Marina's like, well, Vion broke up with me today, okay? Well, I'm not kidding. I mean, I'm kidding. But he said that he likes somebody and he wanted to pursue that. And Lara's like, oh, it's Adair. He's in love with Adair.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
But the thing is, Adair doesn't even know about it. And so they're cracking up. And Brie's just like, yeah, I feel like Adair's just Adair.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
And she's like, do you enjoy torturing me? Is that something that you like to do? And he's like, oh, I should take a shower. And she's like, oh, God, fine, fine. You're leaving footprints everywhere, mister. Oh, little does he know I love footprints. Oh, I hate you. I hate strong men.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
She's like, oh, we already took the sheets off the bed. So he's like, all right, well, what should we do now? And she's like, I don't know. I would hate for you to have to make a bed. I mean, Jesus Christ, this is not the man you want to end up with. He's like, well, no sheets on the bed. Guess I can't do anything on the bed. What would we do? Put sheets on it?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah, have the man make the bed if he wants a little, but he doesn't. And she's like, I mean, I wish we could cuddle and watch a movie. And he's like, we have so much work to do tomorrow.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
And then it looks like they're really, she grabs him and pulls him off camera and starts making out with him. And he's like, okay, okay. And she's like, that's what she's like. I hate you. I hate strong men. Oh, he just dumped you.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah. So Johnny's like, this is fucking disaster. Everyone is safe. But obviously jet skis have been leaking. We should definitely check it before giving it to guests. Yeah. And he's like, the deck team fucked up. Yeah. Vian fucked that one up big time.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Serena also loses credit with me. Like, get some self-respect. The man just dumped you. And she's like, oh, come here. Oh, God, God, I have you. Come here off camera. Oh, God, you're such a strong man. Like, oh, girl, get a hold of yourself. It's embarrassing. A man should be used by all. You know what I mean?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Like, you don't go to the grocery store and just take home the little dispenser in front that gives everybody the antibacterial soap. That's for everybody.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
I mean, she wanted to cuddle up and watch a movie. Too soon for that. Too soon for that, Mariah. Yeah. Too soon for halfway to first base. Well, mother whore of Babylon. Not doing that yet. And then it cuts to Brie, who's all frustrated getting into bed. She's like, oh God, that man can't make a move to save his life. And she says, if he doesn't do something quick, this is going to fizzle out.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yes, we can-a, it's Sedana.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
pretty swiftly on that one. Yeah, he threw him under the wave runner, and he continues to try to through this whole time, which is really funny. And I love that Jason doesn't buy it. He's like, you think you're the first go-go boy to work on this boat? Seriously. Squat. Squat right now. It's like giving him the full prison exam. So he's like, all right, just go get him.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So they send him, and Harry just kind of looks over. He looks over and beyond, and he's like, well... the jet skis overturned, not good, not good.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Which, you know what? Someone who's been injured does not want to hear that. I want to hear like, oh my God, you came through this? Your leg is almost falling off. We're going to save you. Is there anybody you want to call? Do you have FaceTime? Let's get your mother on the phone. It's all going to be okay. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Come back to us. Come back.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
I don't want to hear like, this is nothing.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So then back to Vian drama, he's like, oh, I think it's the jet ski. I think there's a leak in it. Yeah, we know. They told you many times, multiple times. And Johnny's like, definitely leak. And he's like, well, can we just connect it to this and show it in then? And he's like, we can try. And he's like, quick, a big wave is coming. You're in two feet of water. Calm down. Can you drag it back?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So, yeah, it's almost sinking down. It's like, oh, my God, the jet ski. What are we going to do? We can't get it up with this lift because the lift isn't strong enough for the jet ski. We're going to have to empty out the jet ski that's somehow filled with water.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
They're like, Fritz and Bits, you have to do something today, okay?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Fritz is like, I have one question about this Jetski. When did Netflix start showing commercials? Bits, supposed to be concentrating on the boat.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
It's Bits, Spider. Come on, can we all work together here?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
I can't have my plug for the Captain's Lounge kimono line messed up by this jet ski. All right.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah, and he's like, fucking hell, girl, I've never worked on anything like that in my life. In my nine years yachting, Harry, take a photo of me. It's like taking a picture like he's a hero of the day. He's the one who sent out that leaky-ass thing and then did the work to bring it back in. And poor Johnny's upstairs, who's taking his picture? Nobody?
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
I mean, if Pinot Grigio is what you get after, like, some kind of trauma, I mean, my family must be just in a constant state of recovery.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
So Serena is checking in on Viana. She's like, who's my favorite man in the whole wide world? Trust me, I know. I know that you're upset. Give me a hug. Come to mama. Put your head right in my boobies. That's my boy.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Yeah. And he's pint-sized and highly prized. And Serena, as he walks away, she's like, I love you!
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
Oh, my God, lady. You're making me sad, Serena. Jesus. So, Laura's saying, oh, we have to make this up to the chart again. So, basically, tonight we're going all out. I was thinking tape and streamers.
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#2759 Below Deck Down Under S03E06: Capsized and Highly Prized
What about a red tablecloth? We could put a red tablecloth. It could be draped on things. And it's like, wow. Yes. Welcome to the captain's lounge. What happens in the lounge stays in the lounge.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And she's like, well, she wants to talk about it to everybody but me. So.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
She's a liar, though.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
You're on this show and you're still friends. So then TJ, Brad, and Mia are getting ready together. And Brad's like, wow, turns out one of our VIP server knows what's going on. Just a few hours ago, just coincidentally, one of our servers, Ella, who is mic'd up and ready for camera time,
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Told me there's this girl on the law school campus that Will is seen with all the time, and everyone there believes it's Will's girlfriend. Notice how Brad has all these girls just willing to come on camera when he needs some advice. Fucking shady, Brad.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And Mia's like, well, Troy had a female friend crashing with him. Oh wow. We would only be thinking of him now in memory. Okay. In memory. Fuck this. This is ridiculous. I mean, I mean, maybe give Will the benefit of the doubt and say like, what was going through your head when you would allow a woman to stay in your apartment? So they're ready.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And TJ's like, I'm worried about Emmy, which is why I'm going to give her another nervous breakdown on TV. Brad's like, yeah. Just defending your man blindly. Just find out what everything said was true.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
That's like the backdrop.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So Will and Emmy are just walking around the mansion, you know, pretending to be classy. And then Will's like, yeah, I bet everybody else is like pre-gaming already, right? And then we cut to the bus where they're like, yeah, like twerking. And then back to Will and Emmy being boring. It's just like classical music playing. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And Will's like, um, I need to work on my laptop right now. Cause I'm a lawyer. So.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So it's just wedding stuff. Everybody's like, party, taking selfies, going to the bar.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And so Michael's and his boyfriend Preston have a conversation. He's like, the other day, you referenced the fact that we're exclusive. So I just want to kind of see where your head's at with that.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Because, yeah, I was laying in bed with Preston and he mentioned that he deleted all of his dating apps, hinting at the fact that he's only getting blowjobs in public parks now without seeing anybody online first.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
The season finale. What a bunch of messy, messy, messy people. I loved it. I thought it was great. And I also love a good 10-episode season. I don't think they had more to sustain them for more than 10 episodes. And I'm glad. It was a nice... I love a 10 episode season.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
I'm sorry. That is not a 26 year old face. And I'm not even age shaming because I'm still like almost double his age, even if that is his real age. But no, there's not enough sun damage in the world to do that to a 26 year old. Did you grow up in a microwave?
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So then everyone's on the dance floor, like partying. And Will and Emmy are just sitting alone, looking like bored. And Will's like, I'm exhausted, dude. I'm a lawyer.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Well, he heard it from Ali and Ali heard it from the brother, I guess. So he's like, Ali is like absolutely devastated. Her brother didn't even know we're seeing each other again because like, I mean, Will might've just ruined my relationship because he's in a secret relationship because the family hates him because he's a lying damn cheater, that's why. So Will just basically outed him.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And he's like, it's all Will's fault that she's not coming. Oh, OK. So he's like, Michael's is like, kudos to Will for going to the source because I would do the same. But like, you know, why would why wait till prom to have this conversation? I mean, the timing's weird as fuck.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So now everybody else is dancing. You know, we see party shots and stuff like that. And then we hear, and it's Grace Lilly coming up with a bunch of guys. And one of them is O'Sheen.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And Maddie's like, you are so fucking messy, Oshie. I'm like, I can't with you. And he's like, ah, my darling sis, you knew what you were getting into when you became friends with me, babe. You knew what you were getting into.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
I'm a Laurie's wife and Emmy does that thing. Well, I thought Emmy was going to be like, well, everyone's like, no one's apologized to us. Like, and it's so awkward with everybody, but she goes, yeah, because my dad told me it was going to be catered with sushi, but it wasn't. And now I have to eat crab cake. And Will goes, yeah, I don't like crab cake. Laurie's don't eat that.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So then Brad and Austin are talking about Will, you know, Austin's tattletaling to Brad about it. And then TJ goes right up to Maddie and Molly. And he's like, I just want you to know that I had it confirmed that Will cheated with a girl from law school and orchestrated the affair to take place specifically while he was on a ski trip.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And I mean, the timing has to be with Will being able to take this girl to real law prom. And he allegedly had the girl move in with him for a few weeks while Emmy was away. That's right. Hold on. Let my eyes drift left to right really quick.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And Maddie's like, no, not law prom. And he's like, yeah, law prom. Did you hear me?
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
I want someone to do the same for me. They're just like, you're just fucking messy, dude. He's just like, hot dogs. So then Maddie's like, I mean, the fucked up thing is like, now we're here for this imitation law prom, air quotes. And here's Emmy overcompensating for her own version, which he took another girl to his own law prom. And I heard at that law prom, they ate sushi.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And Molly's just looking at her. She's like, I'm on TV. And this is how we look at each other on TV.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And Molly's like, you are such a psychopath. So then O'Sheen just looks like, oh yeah, he's like, every time I arrive, there's a fucking problem, eh? Yeah, nailed it. So then Grace Lilly is still sitting there with Molly and Molly's still giving her the soap opera dirty look. So Grace Lilly just starts like gening her hands.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
I don't even know what you call it, but she starts like doing this like weird hand dance in front of her. She's like, yeah.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
They have sparkles. They're just like, yeah. And Molly's like, what is that? What the fuck is that?
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So then Grace is like, well, I literally, she's still with Molly. She's like, I literally told Eva that night that there was a possibility I'd be fucking O'Shane. And she's like, oh my God, Maddie, come here. She's doubling down. And Maddie's like, Grace, you told me last week at Republic, you knew it was wrong and you wanted a chance to apologize.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
It's that wacky Fran and Eva. They're like, mm.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And O'Sheen's like, girls, girls, please. And she's like, get over him. He doesn't fucking like you, Eva. And Eva's like, he doesn't like you. And she goes, yeah. And Maddie goes, he doesn't like any of you all. He's a whore.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And Maddie's like, oh, no. What?
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
I couldn't quite tell but Emmys playing the role of both Carrie and Carrie's mother at the same time Okay, I'm gonna need people for flowers. I'm gonna need people for cake. I'm gonna need people for decorations I got my list done. It's gonna be the best law prom ever. Nothing can go wrong And that's
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So now outside- Oh, I guess I'm not a friend. Michael's is confronting Will about all the goss about this girl. And now he texted the brother and ruined things for Austin. And so Will's like, what? I just sent one text. And Michael's is like, well, because of that, Austin's girlfriend isn't here. And he's like, why is anyone giving it light? Like, I mean, it's like so attenuated.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
That doesn't even make sense. What is he talking about? He's like the show. I love this show.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
That's what I thought. You're not the only one on this cast who doesn't know this word, including the one who just spoke it. So then we go back to the porch and Austin's like, Will is the one I need to talk to. So Mia's like, oh my God, this is like this short, this is like a tiny balcony. Get over here and just talk to him. So she pulls him over and she's like, okay, you're two grown men.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
You need a mommy to put them together. So listen, tell them what you know. If you know anything, if you know nothing, say nothing. Now I've connected you, go ahead. I'm not leaving. I'm staying here. I'm the audience.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And then TJ's head just appears. He's like, someone say hot dogs?
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
The hot dog cart lid pops open and he just pops out. He's like...
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So, and he's like, I'm not doing this in front of everybody. This is crazy. Like, I just had to eat part of a crab cake. You know?
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So now they try to leave, but then everybody follows them out onto the sidewalk. And here we are, the greatest set piece outside of Matchin.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Yeah, because she's got to be there to stand up for Will. Because she's Will's woman, okay? It's different, Ben.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So Will's like, TJ always needs someone to hate. It's become clear to me that this tunnel vision of hatred is now attenuated towards me.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
TJ is the worst about taking shit that's none of his business and doesn't affect him at all and then screaming at you about it.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
I mean, it's fun to watch, but he's definitely the worst about it. And he's like, well, we know that, you know, he's like all mad and like waving his finger around. And he's like, we know who the other girl is. And you took her to the prom and stayed in your apartment. And Will's like, I did not take her to prom. And then he's like, um, wait, that girl, I know who that is.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
That's the girl we're talking about. Have you guys seen this girl?
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
and uh so will and emmy are like trying to explain like that's just a classmate emmy knew she was there the whole time she's like um and then emmy tells us like i'm not threatened by this particular friend and i feel so bad for the friend who's sitting at home like is she covered in warts on her face like what's wrong with this girl like it was fran it was fran all along
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So this girl's just like, okay, no one would cheat with me. Thanks guys.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
I think he just likes the drama and it's a season finale and he's like, oh, I'm going to yell it. Because then he runs right in and he goes, I just screamed at them. I just screamed at them. He's like trying to get, he's trying to get like attention from the popular girl. And Maddie's like, oh my God, TJ, someone get this man a water. Look at TJ, my God, his bowling ball face is about to explode.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Please, someone help TJ.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So they leave. Will and Emmy are like, let's go, baby. So they leave. And then everybody agrees that Will is guilty in a court of law prom of cheating. And they think that Emmy's a victim. So, you know, whatever. They're not mad at her, but fuck Will. And Mia's like, yeah, unless she sees a video of him sticking his dick in somebody else, she's going to stay forever. She would stay even with that.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
She would stay even with that. She'd be like, boys will be boys. You know, it's hard being a lawyer.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And then Lake and Molly are trying on dresses at another store, and they whoosh open the curtains at the same time, and they're in the same dress. And Lake's like, you copied me. Who wore it best? Am I right? So they keep trying on dresses. It's like wacky. They're trying on wacky prom dresses and stuff. Don't don't don't don't scary music.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So they have romantic endings and Joe's like, we're gonna have ups and downs, but the fact that we know how to cope with the ups and downs and that we see a future together, that is perfect. And Maddie's like, yeah, it's gonna be great.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So we think it's over and then we get the film rewinds and it's 10 days ago at Republic. And we hear Will, we don't see him, but we hear Will and they're like in the kitchen or whatever. And he's talking to the producers and he's like, I don't know when would be the appropriate time for this, but I have information that would be like an atom bomb. And we screenshotted all of our group texts.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So there would be some redemption in it for me and her, but I don't think we've seen Maddie activated this season. So why don't we turn it on Maddie? Did they just show Will trying to be messy with the producers?
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Well, she says she's under the weather, but we find out what happened last night. Will dropped the bomb. Will, you're so bad at this. You do this shit at the reunion. You don't do it the day before and give everybody like a heads up. What's wrong with him? He did the same thing with the brother. He should have had the brother show up at the prom and say, that's not true or whatever.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And now he's doing it again, where he's just blowing his wad before they shoot. So Will has decided not to show up. He pusses out of the whole thing. What a wuss.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Yeah, he really is. But you know, stupid Emmy is just like, like he just couldn't do it. It's like for his mental health. It's like super important when you're a lawyer to have mental health guys.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So basically, Maddie starts crying.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
We find out that Will came to her and told her, showed her all the group texts, which proved that all the stuff about Trevor cheating with that girl last year was a lie. And basically they all went with it anyway, just to throw Maddie under the bus and have her break up with Trevor. which is just so shitty. And Brad's excuse is like, well, I mean, I didn't like her then.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And then, um, two days before prom and Michael's house and Preston is over with Michaels and, um, Michaels was like, oh, wait, I have a surprise for you. Look, there's three cakes. It says prom. Yes. No. Are you going to go to prom with me?
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And so, you know, basically this girl, I was training this girl. She told me about this and that. She said that she made out with him, but then she admitted once she saw it getting out of control, she admitted that it was a lie. But by then it was just too late for me to say anything. And I didn't like Maddie anyway.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And then they just let him off as if the entire part of the last episode wasn't Brad doing this again.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
But it is because her whole thing with Trevor was you've cheated on me. I don't want to be with you again. And he's like, I changed. No, I promise you I've changed. So she gets back together with him. He's accused of cheating again. And she's like, I can't because you're accused of cheating again. And this is obviously you're lying. But you stayed with him.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
what she stayed with him after that the thing is that she ended up breaking up with him after all the stress of it and stuff because because all the stress in their relationship but he didn't cheat on her so maybe he had changed so i mean i don't think that you do when you're a trevor i don't think that he did change but that's not the point it's not like whether i think he could change but in this girl's mind she's like i broke up with like the love of my life because of you guys and they were all in on it everybody knew in the group text
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
and joe's like i don't i didn't know anything joe knew too but joe is lying because he wants to keep maddie so she's like okay you guys had me break up with the love of my life and now i'm settling for like a friend because i'm so traumatized when i should have been with that guy this whole time and now i'm living out my dreams i could be with that guy but instead i'm with this friend because you guys have forced me into this situation
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Yeah. Will's I'm not, it's nothing standing up for Will, but it's obvious TJ and Brad in specific are like, or in particular are liars. They've done it two seasons in a row and that's just not good. And the whole cast was on board with it. It's just so gross.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And I, I don't blame Maddie for being pissed, but it's, they still keep turning it on Will being a bad boyfriend, which he is, but you guys are terrible fucking friends. I mean, you are all terrible. And it also goes to show you like. The level of self-producing that goes even to like a season two of this show, you know, that they're like, no, no.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
They all get on the group text like a bunch of housewives, like, here's how we're going to bring this bitch down, you know?
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
You're not accountable when you're already in jail. You know what I mean? It's like a jailhouse confession. Like you were already caught, buddy. Okay. It's not just you coming forward and being accountable. You were busted. So yeah, Maddie doesn't really seem to be mad at all of them, but she does seem to be shell shocked, you know? And Joe, I don't believe Joe for one second.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And Leva is like, I don't feel for love for Emmy either. Cause she was in on this. Like you can't spend an entire season lying about somebody else and then cry when it happens to you the next season. And by the way, it didn't even come from Maddie who deserved to get revenge on your ass. It came from the same people that you were butting up to, to take her down. So fuck off.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Yeah, that whole thing too, because that turns out that Joe and TJ made up during the season, but then Joe ditched him again once he saw all the footage because he saw how TJ was talking behind his back and he didn't like that. And then TJ starts crying and pulling this victim shit again. I'm sorry, but you're in the wrong. You're just in the wrong period.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
I mean, I get a lot of the stuff and we had the discussion during the season about the plot line of like,
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
well you know it's not really right for joe to like lead somebody on and then kind of hook up and then the other person's supposed to be silent and this and that but tj literally was going around to everybody being like joe's gay joe's gay joe's gay trying to kind of ruin his reputation and we never got to the part of the conversation of like can we get to a time where being gay doesn't ruin someone's reputation that would be nice the south
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Like, we didn't get to that part of the conversation. But TJ just starts this shit where he's confronted with stuff, what he did wrong, and he starts crying. And he's the biggest victim because he's been queerbaited. Well, stop fucking hooking up with straight guys then. Like, at some point, you have to, like, take some kind of responsibility. You know what I mean? Yeah.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
I think at this reunion, TJ was just, like, he was just not winning it for me.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
He doesn't know what was discussed behind his back and what TJ was saying and how he was discussing it with everybody else. You know, he only knows the conversation he had with TJ and, And I mean, when TJ was, when they were going through that scene, I thought that was such a good scene in the bar. And like, I related a lot to that scene.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Cause I've gone through that same period that TJ has, you know, I've had that, I've had those same loves and stuff that I really didn't understand because they were like quote unquote straight. And they turned out just to be guys experimenting and stuff. Like I get that. And I think if TJ had just come to the reunion and been like, I fucked up, I shouldn't have done it. You're right.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Like when Bea Arthur gets, you know, someone says something stupid and then she just stares right into the camera.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Me going to those people and saying stuff was wrong, but I didn't understand it was wrong. Cause to me it was just like a hookup and I'm allowed to talk about a hookup. Like I didn't understand it was going to affect your dating life or whatever in Charleston or follow you around because we live in a fucking homophobic place and this and that.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
I think if he took more responsibility or accountability, then I wouldn't have been pissed, but he didn't. He just was like,
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
It's like, fuck off. Like at some point you have to take some responsibility, you know? And then you spent the whole season lying against someone who's your best friend, your other best friend, who's Will. Like that guy is just like, that's terrible. Like, especially after that. No.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So he's like, I was straight in high school and I took a girl I was dating to prom. And then she spent the night at my house and my mom like found out. And then I came back to my bedroom and there was like a box of condoms on there. Like, thanks. I love people like his mom, you know, who are like, oh, my God, being gay is a sin. But fucking a girl before marriage. Here's some condoms.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Yeah. Fuck that lady. Fuck you, lady. Yeah. Some people are just shit people, you know, but she was lucky enough to have a non shit son. So that's good because he's very nice. I mean, on Michael's behalf, I'm like, oh, God, please, Preston, don't break his heart because I just have a feeling. I just have I have a bad feeling about Preston. And I don't know why, because he seems so sweet.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
He's done nothing but be very sweet on the show. So I don't know why, but I just I don't know.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Yeah, so far so good, show. Love this show. And hopefully it started to break out a little bit. It seems like more people are watching it and stuff this year.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Let's see. Hope we get some more. But it's been a super fun season of Southern Charm. So thanks, show.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Hava Nagila Weber.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Do it in our house. That's great. Love that.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
If anybody knows Michael's mom, carry a message to this woman for me. Fuck off, lady. All right? Get it together.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
No, it was three cakes. And Preston's like, um, I wish you had spelled this out of broccoli. Cause that would have been our dessert. Like, why would you do this?
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
And now the music becomes upbeat. And Maddie's sitting on her balcony and Joe Bradley shows up in a vintage Corvette. And he's, you know, got the boom box and he lifts up the boom box and starts playing the music. And he's got, then he switches into like Love Actually, which was actually kind of creepy.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
which is fitting, I guess for this, this scene was kind of creepy where the best friend shows up and just write stuff on cards and shows the girl. Yeah.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Money can't buy you class. I don't regret fucking you in the hotel. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry. That was a different one. It was a different one. It was a different one. But yeah, he really makes it long. He makes a whole monologue on like 20 pages of paper. He's like, I'm pretty much like littering your neighborhood right now.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So it's basically, will you go to prom with me? And she's like, oh my God, that's amazing. It's like the most romantic thing that anybody has ever done for me. That's crazy. And he's like, yeah, I've been in love with Maddie for like years. And that feels like a really long time to me, but you know, I wanted to move in with her, but she's not ready.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So, you know, like I need to always listen to my mom and stop putting Maddie away.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So then, back to outside, she's like, oh my god, are you still doing signs, Joe? He's like, I am. It really is. Is that just a drawing of the eggplant emoji?
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Because I was really trying to do multiple rom-coms right now, not just one, but there were multiple ones. She's like, I got it, Joe. I got it. Should I write them down for you? I still have some paper left. No, Joe. Let's just take a ride in the car.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Yeah, so now they speed off, and they're, like, so happy. So then we go to my favorite place, the Republic Back Room, and everyone's getting ready for their shift. And guess who I don't see? Cloris Leachman. Hello? It's the season finale. Where's Siobhan? Where's Cloris Leachman? I know.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
yeah he's like whatever guys so people are working on the vip sign and maddie's excited for prom and then he's like i wanted to be pretty i wanted to be colorful i wanted to be a prom you know but like a lot prom except i'll be there it's gonna be so romantic everything's gonna go great am i right and she's like this summer has been awful like i finally got rid of this fake cheating rumor and like proving will innocent and like i expect everyone to got all of their bad behavior out like it's just gonna be totally fine only with sushi it's gonna be the perfect sushi night
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
When did she get rid of it?
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
You just cried about it.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Yeah. So you prove nothing, ma'am.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
I'm sure Brad's very concerned. So Brad's like, yeah, when we were in Vegas, Will told us he was apparently getting bullied by Austin's girlfriend's brother. But we come to find out he's lying. And if you didn't do anything wrong, then why are you lying? Because Emmy's like a little sister to me, guys. So Emmy has every right to know. every right to know.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So Brad's like, yeah, you know, I have friends at Will's Law School, so I'm gonna keep doing some digging. And TJ's like, if you need help.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So now 20 South Battery, the prom venue. Five hours until prom. So Will and Emmy are there and they're starting to get ready and stuff. And Will's like, yeah, I was never really a big prom guy, but you know, I just want Emmy to be happy and smile a lot.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
He's a miserable, miserable man.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
It's really hard. Like I haven't even eaten today.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
So then Molly is fixing her, fixing Lake's eyeshadow and stuff. And they're like, oh my God, Slay, we're going to prom. So Molly's like, yeah, out of eight proms I've been to, my favorite memory was my junior year. My date bought me Nike shoes when he asked me and said, just do it. Go to prom with me.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
Well, they had a situationship, which means they weren't dating. They were boning. And then Grace Lilly bumped him at the same time.
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#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom
The milkman cheated? And how does he have so many people willing to have sex with him when he's always covered in milk smell? You know? I know. Seriously. So Maddie's like, well, Joe joked this morning that Grace Lilly was going to be getting ready with us here. Isn't that hilarious? But, you know, I'd like to see you and Grace have a conversation, Eva.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
They even showed her, but they even showed like one of the memories was like, she's sobbing because she didn't know to have spoons. And then Zarina said, could you put spoons on a tray and take them down? And she's like, that's not fine dining. And that was one of her reasons for the breakdown. I was dying watching that. I thought it was so good.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
You know, all she needs is to go to a Starbucks with a supportive barista who puts things like this on their cup. You rock. Yeah. You rock. I saw that and I was like, thanks.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And so they print, they printed me twice and they made me two of the same drink. And I was like, oh, I didn't order two. And she said, well, you're it's your lucky day. Cause our printer broke. So you get two. And so I was like, oh, so I took them, you know, cause I'm, I don't, I don't piss on manna from heaven. I put it in my knapsack. And so I took it and then I noticed this one said you rock.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And then I was like, oh my gosh, I wonder if the other one says something. And the other one said, you're so special. And I was like, you know what? I feel less special now that you're just writing this on every cup. You know what I mean? What the fuck? Thanks a lot for making me just feel like some John, some random John.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Well, the thing is, people who talk about how much of a perfectionist they are are always fucking things up. Have you noticed that? There's never someone who's like, I'm such a perfectionist. This actually looks perfect. They're always fucking up. And that's why I like it. Also, I like her because she has very insecure eyebrows.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And what I mean by that is she does the thing where you put them on with a magic marker, but they're not quite right. And so now she's stuck with them. And I think that your eyebrows say a lot about you. And I think she's got very terrified eyebrows. So I'm all for her.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
So, we get Lara's monologue, and guess what, you guys? You're gonna be shocked. So she's like, I'm a bit hard on myself. A bit too much of a perfectionist. And I think it maybe comes from... Wait for it. Trying to impress my dad. Oh, for fuck's sake. Dads out there, could you do better? I mean, Jesus Christ, bad fathers are like a factory for reality stars.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Like, they just pump out so many bat- I mean, so many neurotic reality stars. Get it together, dads!
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And she's just standing on the street as the car drives away like, Daddy!
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I found a spoon! And then you just see something fly out the side window and hit her on the forehead and it clinks to the ground and it's a spoon.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Now, your neck looks so strong. Does it? I can tell. Yeah, you have like cartoonishly strong neck. Wait, let me move this. No.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
So she talks about how her parents divorced when she was three. and her dad remarried and this lady already had three children. And she's like, you know, he basically found a replacement family and dumped us, which is so sad, but you're also entering onto below deck where they're gonna dump you and get a new chief stew next year too. So it's like, I don't know, stop the cycle.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
She's just out there with a Sharpie, just trying to do her eyebrows once every six months, and fucking it up by a couple of inches, and this all goes to hell after that.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
So Serena comes in and she just hugs her, you know, and I think that's a sweet friend who doesn't hug her. I'm not a good friend because I would be hugging you going, that's okay. Just remember a spoon next time. Just remember a spoon. Like I'd still be kind of sticking it in there. But Serena doesn't. She just hugs her and stays quiet.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
So then Harry is working on cabins a lot, which is nice. And I think he's flirting with Brianna. So then he goes to the beach with Weehan and Harry's like, so organized chaos. It's all right. Everything's all right. And he's like, what did you have to do this morning? Pins. Pins. I did pins. It was so amazing. I never got to the butt plug room though. God, I hope I don't have to go there.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I feel myself clenching in anticipation.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
The most sensitive guys in the world. That's my favorite thing about him is he used to work at a place called Beefcakes. So then Serena is talking to Sue Anthony and she's like, well, I think we should do all the salads as raw and fresh and light. And he's like, perfect, perfect. I mean, there's quite a bit of fat on there, isn't it? Like, you know, you're prepping some steaks there.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
It looks like quite a bit fat. So way to go against your own rules.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Oh, my God. Make me one. I will. You look like Gaston. Or Gastone, as they would say on Southern Charm.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, so she wants to make her family's life easier because she grew up in a very humble house and they always lived rent by rent. And when they couldn't afford the rent, they would go to the next place to rent. And it was tough. Grandpa was in a wheelchair because he had a disease. The dad left. So grandma had to work two or three jobs. She took care of the whole family.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And then we see, and then she says, her, her mom and 13 cousins. I mean, that's crazy. Y'all get a job. Why is the grandma doing it? Jesus Christ. And they show her mom, her mom looks perfectly fine. What was her mom doing? You know?
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
It's just a lot. Poor grandma, man. And, but this is really sweet. Cause she's just wants to save up her money to get grandma a house. Well, I hope that you know that you're the person who gets all the grandma's money, because that would suck if you did that, and then your grandma left everything to your mom, who wouldn't even get a job to support her, according to you.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I'm worried that Marina's going to get fucked over by her grandma. I know the grandma's supposed to be the hero of the story, but I'm like, Marina, she's fucking you over. It's all a trick. Marina, run!
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
She's like from a really rich single dad in Costa Mesa.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
But I like that she's a small-time grifter because she's like, I'm going to grift my way up the yachting hierarchy.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, you go, boy. Hey, bro. Hey, bro. I got a defined neck. I can hug you by the way. By the way, Summer House is returning this week, so excited to do that. Summer House is coming back, and guess what? The Denise Richards show is coming up soon. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. It's going to be good.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
So those are like Tuesday and because daddy and because dad left and daddy left. Not to be mean about that, but it is it is part of both stories.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Can't wait to see who it is. Who has a child? Somebody has a child somewhere, yeah. For sure.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I'm doing it all for my child. Vian?
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, he has, like, sad I miss my child face, for sure. He's got, like, kind of a sadness in his eyes, like, I have a daughter somewhere. And I'm ignoring her right now, which means she'll grow up to be a Chief Stew wannabe. Dun, dun, dun, the cycle. Below deck, the cycle continues. All right, so Harry is talking to Lara, and he's like, how's the interior?
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And she's like, oh, I mean, they're really good. And he goes, okay, well, who's first and who's second? Give me the tea, girl.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I don't know. We'll see. It's too early. You need to talk to them properly, you know? Get to know the ins, the outs, the wants, the needs sort of thing.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Harry doesn't have any game. And he hooked up with someone last time, right? But didn't he cry a lot? I felt like Harry cried in bed a lot.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, he's cute. I feel like he's just a road rage person. He's the kind of person you just don't want to cut off on accident. You know what I mean? Like he'll follow you to the marshals and threaten to beat the shit out of you. He's just that guy. He's clearly toxic, but I'm kind of beguiled by him this episode for no good reason. Yeah, but so are cigarettes.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And I love, you know, I love those things. I love a lot of toxic things. So bring it on. So Laura is like, wait, who's Laura? Hold on, let me think. Oh, Laura's the sous chef. So she's talking about meat. She's talking about meat with Anthony, the sous chef. And she's like, so the meat is ready. I mean, the meat's going to be ready when they're ready. And he's like, Yeah, just sitting here.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
All right, let's get to below, deck, down, under. Now, this is one of those episodes where you just, you have to remind yourself, this takes a few episodes, right? I don't know who these people are. Who are these people? What are they talking about? I don't remember. Why aren't there crazy people? Also, below, deck, down, under, I feel, I'm just going to say it, guys. It's maybe controversial.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
It's cooking through pretty quick. So, yeah, I know what I'm doing. You know, I've worked under lots of big people. You know, I've got a butt tattoo that says Emeril on it. So, make of that what you will.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Little brat. You would have been an orphan if I was your mother.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, also, just, like, make my steak. You know what I mean? Yeah, just make the steak. Just do it. Yeah, get off the toe shoes, like, for fuck's sake. And also, if ever I want to hear a backstory, it's his mother's.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I want to hear his mother's, like, Here I was, working 30 jobs just to make him happy, and I'd make him a potato, and he'd say, Wench, this is unacceptable, throw it against my face, and then make me start all over again. To this day, I still don't know how to make a proper bag potato.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Wow, you like salt. I know.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Can I just tell you something? I'm so sorry that I keep bringing up this stupid Western that I'm reading. It is so dark, Ben. Yes. Here's what happens. Okay. It's just so brutal. Every page is like them getting into some skirmish and everybody dying. Okay. That's the whole thing. It's a Western. So they're like, the enemy started a fire and burned all of our people.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And all of our people were trying to jump over a cliff to not die from the fire. And basically I didn't jump over the cliff, but I hung onto a tree, a tree or something. So I didn't die. But then when I got back up, there was a horse and it was fried. So I ate it. I just chopped into it and I started eating the horse. That's the whole thing.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
They just keep going through and just like something and just biting right into it. So when I hear this guy, I'm right. So when we get to this, I'm like, wow, we're so lucky that we have salt.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Just kidding. It's not at all. I think Below Deck Down Under should stay on small boats. And I think Below Deck Sailings should stay on small boat. And I think the other one should have bigger boats. I like Below Deck Down Under smaller. I don't like this big production on Below Deck. I like it smaller and crazier.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I think they had salt, too, but I don't think they always had it on them. Like, they didn't have adobo, you know what I mean?
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I'm reading the whole four book thing. So it started in Texas and they're on their way to Mexico.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I read for like three hours and then it's like, you're 1% of this book. Oh my God, I can't take it. This is too brutal, but I can't put it down.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
yeah i like it too i just wanted to be on a smaller boat because i like more of a fly-by-night operation on these shows you know would you like kind of making it up it's more community theater vibes would you have preferred this to have been on a boat that used to be a japanese trawler back in the 70s yeah you see that there that's classic
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Oh, really? You want to come up at the end and act like the fucking chef? Of course you do. Get your ass with me right now, sir.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
You see what he's doing, though, don't you? He's saying, don't do that, we're a team, so I can take credit for everything. Like all those pictures that he showed before, when he's like, here's my five-star service, and then he's showing all these gorgeous, you know, magazine-worthy pictures.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
How many of those were his, and how many of those were his chefs that he just took pictures of, and he may be helpful? Like, you know, fucking cutting a carrot.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Okay, go ahead and do it. And you're not, you're not, it's not immersive grilling in front of them. Give me a fucking break. It's not a Benihana. You're not going to be throwing it in their fucking mouth.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I know who you're talking about.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, they showed it today. Yeah, they showed it today. It was really funny when he's like, well, you know, Zarina does make her own problems. He's like, it's going to be like a Benihana. She's like, not doing it.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yes. I'm not going to steal it from you. It's the eel. It's the fucking eel. You guys, that is the cutest eel I've ever seen. Like, I've never wanted to hug an eel before, but I totally want to hug an eel.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, it's cowboy day. I mean, give me a fucking break. So Serena's telling Anthony, are your lips real? And he goes, oh yeah, so forget my lips, Don. She goes, are you upset with me? And he's like, why would I be upset? Why would I be upset, you basic fucking nothing of a woman? And she's like, I don't know, you just seemed angry for a minute, though.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
So now the timing comes in where the guest has asked for this to all be out at eight on the dot. But of course, the guests are not up at eight on the dot. They're getting ready and taking their sweet ass time. So Marina comes into the galley, and she wants the food. And so Laura's like, but are the guests even there? And she goes, no, but they asked me to be before eight, so they will come.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
That's what they said. And she's like, well, Blair said that if we're not there by eight, bring it out. So let's just wait. And she's like, but Blair said bring it before eight, because then they'll come. And she's like, if they're not there at eight, bring it out. She goes, well, he said something completely different to me. So he said... Oh, no. Was it a dream? Was it real?
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Did he really say it's in the submarine?
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
So it's just timing. They're just talking about this, whether it's served at eight or whatever. So then Laura's like, well, the guests are not going to be happy finding the hot food, now cold food, because they took an extra 10 minutes getting ready. I mean, the food needs to be hot. I mean, sorry, but sometimes I know better than the guests, which is true. You don't serve food to an empty table.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
No, Marina was doing that thing where she was like, the guest is always right. And I think that that's something you have to do to a degree, but Laura knows guests are stupid. And if she actually did that, the guests would be mad and they would also be right if they were mad. So she's like, nope, you don't serve guests. I'm glad she stuck to her guns and didn't listen to an underling.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Cause if she listened to somebody lower in rank and fucked it up, that would be very bad. You know, that would be a very bad foot to set right at the beginning. Yeah. So... Example set, foot to set.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
It is weird. Yeah, I don't need Marina to self-flagellate over it or anything. Yeah, relax. Yeah, it was interesting. So then Serena's like, okay, here's some lobster, here's some steak, but apart from that, everything's vegan, even the cold bread, which is not that easy to do vegan, by the way. And so they're like, thanks. And now Adair and Marina...
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
It's like taking his time and like... They had one where he was in a sitcom from the 80s where they were like, Eel, it's your turn, and then he just turned to the camera. He did.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
The buttercream or whatever, or the buttermilk. Don't you use buttermilk in biscuits? Not biscuits, cornbread. I guess you don't use buttermilk in cornbread all the time.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I don't know. Some things you can use applesauce for, for an egg. I don't know. I don't know. Well, we'll have to put a pin in.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
You know, my husband loves cornbread. You know what he hates? Animal products. What's a girl to do? Well, let me tell you what happened when I went to the post office this morning.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
There you go, there you have it.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
So now they're clearing dinner and doing all that. And the deck is, the deck is getting ready to do a cowboy performance. They have to do a line dance and they're shirtless for this. And Harry dances as the shirtless horse. And so it's just a hooting and hollering great time. So then Serena tells Anthony she needs help cleaning and he does.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And he's actually being kind of decent for this five minutes. So then Brie is giving a cabin rundown while checking her work. And so Brie's like, you know, perfectionists can usually be seen as someone that can be overbearing. I mean, with Laura, the way she just appreciates yachting so much, she's someone I look up to and I admire. So whatever she needs, I'm here for it.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
There is something about the format that definitely needs that.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
If I were Chief Stu— We need that character.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Guys, that is the cutest thing. And then do you know how sometimes I feel like I'm psychic? And so like, I'm always looking for science and stuff. Ben knows this. I'm ridiculous with it. But this was one of those moments. And also I'm reading a Western right now that's so brutal. Like everybody just dies. And so it makes you think about like, how will I die?
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Brianna's American too. Yeah. And there's also too many Americans on this.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And Harry's like, so what? Do you just have to clean up behind her then? He's like, yeah, it's just like a mess everywhere. You know, it's just dirty. That's just not how it works, you know what I mean? And he's like, well, I'm sure if she said, I reckon you could be a bit cleaner, she'd say, yeah, okay, I'll try. You know, she wouldn't take offense. It's just about how you word it.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
If you go in guns blazing, like, I just made myself so uncomfortable right now.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Okay, last day of charter. It's already 90 degrees in the morning. And Lara's asking if Adair can do cabins. So Adair's like, but wait, they're turning up cabins? Why would they be turning them up? I mean, they should just strip everything. I'm going to go tell them. I'm going to go tell them that. They should just strip it. So she marches up to Lara like she's going to school Lara on something.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
It's like, so are y'all going to turn up the rooms? I mean, shouldn't we just wait and then strip everything once they leave? I mean, they're only here for two more hours.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Well, you're going to tell a chief stew that you don't want to make up the rooms in the morning. That is completely stupid. And then she's like, well, my idea of guest treatment and her idea of guest treatment are so polar opposite. You're from a mud boat, ma'am. I forgot about that.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And so I saw that eel and I was like, you know, one of my fears used to be getting eaten by eels. I would love to get eaten by this eel. So I imagined myself just getting eaten by this eel. And I was just like giggling the whole time because he's just so cute while he eats me.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, you idiot. Go make a bed. So Lara's like, well, Adair isn't used to working on a super yacht. So, you know, I give her a little leeway, but God, this isn't Motel 6.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
So now breakfast is being served and Bree's working on cabins with Adair. And she's like, well, we really have to pull all the wrinkles out because Laura wants all the wrinkles out and she wants it very tucked. I mean, she's amazing, isn't she? I just want to make her happy.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I just, you know, you know, I'm going to change this one because I don't think I can get the wrinkles out the way Laura likes it. I'm going to change it. And Adair's like, God, just tuck it in for fuck's sake.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Block a bit of butter on a hot skillet, ain't it? All right, we're going to need good communication and planning. This is the test. Let's go. So everyone's like, all right, Harry, Harry, that forward leading spring, that's got to be your last one.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
After spring, first breast, breast swing, swing around, swing around the side, breast under, butt of the lid, butt of the lid, butt of the lid, butt of the lid.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
So, uh, we, I was just talking too much. She's like, okay, captain clear, clear, clear to turn, clear to turn, clear to turn eggs on the skillet, eggs on the skillet hash browns coming down, hatchbacks come down, got some cholesterol on the grill, got some cholesterol, wait for it to melt, get melty, melty, melty, sizzle, sizzle, bacon, bacon, bacon.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Greens, greens, and nothing but greens. Parsley, peppers, cabbages, celery, asparagus, watercress, and phylloffins and lettuce. He said, all right, but it wasn't quite because I cut them in my autumn garden one night. He's like, all right, could we please do less Into the Woods on the radio? I'm trying to talk a goddamn boat.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, he really does. It's like, this poor guy just can't get a win, you know? And Vian, actually, his problem is over-communication, which is rare, you know? It's a weird season. He's just communicating too much. And he's like, please shut up on the radio.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, he's such a little asshole. So then they meet at the bridge and Jason is like, yeah, coming into talking, we've got to find our feet. You know, I mean, Jesus Christ, point to the lines. I want the line on. I will say the communication on the radio was intense. All right. It was a lot. So what I want, I just want five meters, two meters, kick forward, clear on your port side. That's it.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
That's it. That's it, Bosin. And he's like, okay, I'll stop talking so much. He goes, audiobooks.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, I know, they'll all go to hell soon. So Serena's like, oh my god, I mean, I think Anthony sees me as like a new stepmom, and he doesn't really want it, but he has to put up with it, but I think we're finally bonding! Or he's just humoring me, but either way, either way it's working much better now.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And also Vian fucked up that docking too, but he doesn't give him shit like that. He's just like, you were in charge of the idiot who lost the key or whatever. So, you know, you have to wear it. And Serena's like, maybe you should wear it on the jet ski. So if you get lost again, we can find you.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
So we find out that Laura's in Yachting because she's saving up for an old barn, which I'm renovating. I manage the bills myself. I pay all the bills. There's a little house in the back for Dad. He's never visited.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Dad, I got you a spoon. Dad's house is completely built from spoons. It's all made out of spoons.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
you know someone like that i'll tend to develop a crush for i'm like yeah you think you think she was like a pretty girl yeah the hot one i like that they all make it sound like some romantic story when they pick the prettiest girl on the boat like yeah it was meant to be although i will say i think it might be meant to be between veon and brie because they are the exact same color and i don't mean just their skin like their hair even is the same
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And the turtle can be Mrs. Roper, you know?
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
because it's not the most normal color right it's kind of like a strawberry blonde but like i don't know latte colored i don't know how you would explain it yeah but they're like the same color rust you know it's like they've both gone under kind of yeah they've both rusted to the same degree so i think they deserve to be together sure look like they go i don't know how to explain it but i was like that's just such odd coloring that they both have the exact same hair
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
No, it's like greasy. It's like kind of greased and I don't know how to explain it, but no, it's not spiky, but yeah, is their hair color is so similar that I think that, I don't know. I think people with the exact same hair color fall for each other. I don't know. I guess we'll see if it works out.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, we should be together forever. I mean, yeah, gays do tend to date ourselves, which is why I'm single. Like, I've got better taste than that. All right, so Harry is checking with Serena. So they're all out having a good time, you know, and Lara and Anthony are talking. And Lara's like, so what's your background with cooking?
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And he's like, well, when I was a kid, I've just always been good at it. You know, I mean, no, it sounds arrogant, but I don't want to be arrogant. I really just, you know, I don't really carry too much of an ego. That's me. No ego me. No ego Anthony. That's what they call me. And Serena's just kind of over there biting her tongue like, really?
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, and you know who I'm sick of? The fucking drama queen stingrays.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, she's like, he has one job to do, and that's have my back. And instead he's talking shit about me to the other crew members. It's just so disrespectful.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Well, I hope that her reaction to this is just to toughen up on Anthony in the kitchen and demand respect. And I hope it's not, let's have a talk about this. Cause that's just not, that's not what this guy's going to respond to.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah. What you get is what you get, you little fuck. You know, when you learn to hold a fucking skillet, you can, you can do it.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah. And if Anthony's mother is out there and needs a place to vent about this little fucker, what he was like growing up, feel free to give us a call. I'd love to hear it.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And there's such, you know, like you murdered Steve Irwin. Like, I can't. Yeah. And like, I'm not going to like come to this show where we're glamorizing Stingrays. Okay. I'm not going to have it.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Deeb. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yes, we canna, it's Savannah.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
They're just always coming in uninvited. They're always around.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are we going to really start this off with some Larry slander? Larry was amazing. What are you talking about? You love Larry? I love Larry. Yeah. Really?
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
No, here's why Larry was great. Because he wasn't fine at all. But in his mind, he was so fine. And he was all about, like, picking up the chicks. And, like, his shirt was always unbuttoned down to his belly button. But he was, like, gross. He's just, like, so gross. And I think that that's the first time I really understood. Because, you know, I was a little kid when that came out.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And that was the first time I really ever understood the concept of, like, even ugly straight white guys fail upward just because of confidence, you know? I never really learned confidence. But still, it was always a goal, you know, because of you, Larry.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
The Regal Beagle. The Regal Beagle. How dare you? But Legal Eagle was a movie with Debra Winger.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
So, by the way, if you're driving in your car right now and you're wondering, why am I listening to this? Here's your answer. I don't know. OK, so let's start. We start with Serena, who's downstairs with her sous chef, Anthony. And Anthony has just basically told her off in his way. He's like, we could be working harder together. We could be working harder together.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And she's like, OK, well, do you want to be more involved in stuff? And he's like, yeah, for sure. She's like, OK, well, would you be excited if you got to go and do the beach lunch today? How would that sound for you? And she's really leaning into her Ruth Buzzy face. Have you noticed? Yeah. You know, that's like... Oh, you're excited! I want her to, like, beat him over the head with a purse.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Like, who... So we're gonna... This old man talking... This old man talking about Below Deck.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
It's our new era. We're just old bastards. That's all we are.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah. So he's like, okay, I can do it. And then I can just crack on. He's like, okay, okay, fine. So then the skeevy guest, all these guests are like old dudes with like young hot women. A couple of them still maintain their like same age wives, but you know, they're on their way out. I feel bad. There's one woman who I'm like, you're way too old for that guy.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
He's about to cut you and go switch you out for a 25-year-old who likes anal beads. Sorry.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I know, but that's why he's there. It's like he paid to go on a TV boat to prove to the world that his wiener still works. And if it worked that well, you wouldn't need that many toys. Or steroids. Hey, wait a minute. No, that guy's definitely on steroids. Hey, I put testosterone in my butt. Oh, and let me tell you what, it doesn't do anything. I mean, I maybe get two more boners a month.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
I don't know what everybody's on about putting testosterone in your butt. That didn't make me any manlier.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Well, I think I've said it a long time because I was raised in my adulthood, my young adulthood by absolutely fabulous. So that came a long time before, but yeah, I don't know what they're on about with that testosterone in your butt. Cause everyone's like, oh my God, you're going to feel like such a man. It's going to change your life. It didn't do shit.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Now, granted making me feel like a man is a tall order. I have to say. I think they're only legally allowed to put so much inside of me. But I got it tested and they were like, well, your testosterone is normal. And I was like, but why am I still, why do I still just want to like, I don't know, cry to commercials and not get wieners? And they're like, I don't know, can't help you.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
You're beyond our help, sir.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Loosen up a little, Harry. Literally.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Get out of those budgie smugglers and put on some boxers. Loosen up. Yeah, you're like 22 and you're skinny. You should be trying more things.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah, he was like, this is my big moment to show off my focaccia skills. And she shot that right down. So she's like, I know where you're coming from. Really, I do. I'm so sorry about that. Just no focaccia. And he's like, okay, so you're not going to do any prep up at all for this barbecue? She's like, no, no, I'm going to help you. Anything you need. I'm just not going to the beach.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
And he goes, what's your position in it? To make the crew food.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
excuse you you just asked for more responsibility and the second she gave it to you look how you act you act like she's like sloughing off and giving you her work you're a little yeah see i mean you're a little backbiting hand anthony he is because like he was right he was not being utilized properly last episode but now she's like okay well
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Yeah. And she's like, I'm not making you do my job. Don't worry. And he tells us, well, I'm not trying to attack Serena here. But suddenly I'm going from being a dishwasher to doing beach canapes. It's a bit weird. You ask for more and she's giving you more. Stop your bitching. I mean, talk about somebody with too much testosterone up their butt.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
Do you know how many talented people I've worked under?
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
A hot beef injection is not a Nobel Peace Prize win, okay, sir? So she's like, I'm just giving you this opportunity. So don't stomp around in my galley like a three-year-old, all right? So then Jason is looking for Lara, but she's changing, and she's going to be with the guests. And so Serena checks with Lara, who is still crying. Okay, they show Lara crying in this.
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#2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous
It's like a 20-minute segment of Lara crying. Lara, you are not cut out for this if you are going to cry for 20 damn minutes. There is no crying in Chief Stewing, ma'am. Okay? If you're going to cry, make it quick. Fucking A, man. This is too long. Do you know how much? There's only been one episode. How did they even have that much to edit in of her reasons for crying?
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Yeah, and so, of course, Vihan is going to yell at him now about that. So he's like, first priority, sun deck. Okay, table. Because that's where we're coming out, right? And he's like, okay, but that stuff was already ticked off, which is why I didn't do it. He's like, okay, well, tick the ticks then. That's what we're going to do, huh? We're going to tick the tick.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Yeah, and he's yelling at him for not ticking the ticks. You're the manager. Why didn't you come down and tick the ticks? Yeah. If you have a list and everything says it's done, why don't you go around and double check it? Which you didn't fucking do, Vian. Okay. Yes, sir. So he's like, well, from now on, sun deck is priority at night and in the morning. And in the evening, I want to have a drink.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
And in the morning, go over it again. Okay? So you know it's both ends. And he's like, okay. So we wet it in the morning. And he's like, no, we wet it in the evening. And he goes- So we don't wet it in the morning. He's like, no, I don't want to wet it in the morning. He's like, but I feel like he just said to me, rinse it at night and then rinse it in the morning. He didn't.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
He said, rinse it at night and go over it in the morning. But still.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
I mean, the worst he ever did was when he got mad one time and said, you're a stupid woman and you can't do anything. And this is why we didn't want you to vote. And then he also added, I'm Joao 5.0.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
back in zim this is how you do things so um jason radio you know it's bad when we're talking when the show is like wow remember what a great great leader joel was right what a hero that's a bad sign it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Yeah, but that's his thing. You know, he's like an hors d'oeuvre. He just wants to be eaten. Passed around. It's in his nature. Yeah. He's like, just pass me around. You know, I'm not a solo meal. I'm not a sub sandwich. I'm tiny little bits of sandwich on a tray. So Vian, so Johnny sees him and he's like, bro, what are you doing? Come on. Vamonos. Vamonos. Vamonos.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
So then Corinne's taking photos on the boat in her bikini, and she's like, yes, hold on, let me turn so you can get my good side. And then she turns and gives the girl her butt, and the girl's like, oh my god, that is your good side, that's an amazing butt.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
So beyond... I'm past the point of even thinking the pictures are going to look good. I don't even look anymore. If people are like, hey, can I post this? I'm like, just post it. Don't show it to me. Let's not go down like the shame spiral right now. Please just post it.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Listen, we recapped the Holocaust episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Live. And it was a great show. We had a great time. So don't worry.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Do we have anybody that can just draw me? That would be great.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Can I get like a courtroom drawing done of my face? So Corinne takes her photos. Okay. So then Vian and Johnny are talking and Vian's like, oh, the Sundex deck was a mess. And he's like, well, the fun party was something else. Imagine I had the water open for three straight hours. And he's like, well, I don't think Harry quite understands when you take it off. He thinks I don't have to look.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
yeah but Vian's doing that thing where he's gathering troops to just talk it's like whoever will sit there and listen to him talk everybody else he's going to keep them on his side so he can spread his virus his Vian virus all over the boat and then he was like after everything that when I woke up everything I had to do and then we see he's like everything I had to do this morning and just cuts to him and Adair having like coffee and like talking about coffee and just like
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Lists of things to do. Cut to him sitting on the edge of the boat like, what rhymes with love? How do you put together love with love?
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
And he's like, well, here's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to get the phoenix to rise up. The phoenix has to be in the air before it can rise back up. He hasn't been in the air. The phoenix does not rise from the air. That's not a phoenix.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
I mean, he, I wasn't sure if it's like some, like he's an American guy.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Maybe he's like from the, he's from like the great Val pack empire. You know, those are his parents.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
So she's like, we've been waiting for you. And he's like, have you? Well, the show has arrived. So now he's unbearable. So now they're unbearable. That's perfect. He's unbearable. So every time he gets into a kayak, I'm like, sink it. But there you are. So they're like getting breakfast and having fun. And then Vihan is talking to Johnny Stone.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
He's like, I don't know why Lara is so angry at me, bro. He's like, can you explain to me? Let me ask you this. Can you explain to me why? Why are you so sensual? Like every girl, you're so sensual, you know? You just come so close and then feeling bottom. You know, all this. Why?
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
It's like, just stay away from Alicia. Yeah. No close. No sensual. No sensual. Untick sensual. Untick. So then the water toys and stuff. And then Jason radios Marine into the bridge. He was a smartass to him and told him, oh, really? What if you don't eat? You get grumpy and you start micromanaging things. So she's in trouble. So she has to go there.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
She's like, well, you know, I mean, I love to do service. I love it with all my heart. You know, I wake up in the morning and think, God, I can't wait to sell somebody French toast, French toast. But, you know, if they need me in laundry, then I decided I'll be do it to help Laura, to help Laura. I will do it.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
And she says, you know, she was hopeful to be in service like Laura promised, but she didn't get it. So she Laura got very defensive. And he's like, well, she told me about that. And you said it in front of other people. And when I heard about it, I did not have an M&M in my mouth. So you can imagine how that made me feel. Micromanaging, old man. Okay.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
So then she's like, oh, he is such a smart guy, you know? And it was so nice to feel validated with someone with so much experience. So I see him as a mentor. So he sees how hard I'm working. He likes it. And you know what? Every time I get a piece of his underwear, I think, God, he's trusting me with these, you know? So I'm happy now. I'm better. Plus, it's good not to be fired.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
No, no. You've got a whole crew of people up there. Nobody even knows your ass. Get your ass out of bed if you want the breakfast or say, could you save me a plate? Don't hold it for everybody else. You've been great, Cindy. Okay, you're out of there, Cindy. You're one week Cindy, I'm going to call you.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
I think it's okay if you just wake up with that person. But if you wake up and there's like eight other people upstairs waiting for breakfast, like, no, Cindy, we don't know you.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
You're lifting people up and being like, oh, and now I've known you for a week and now I'm taking you on a cruise. You know, you make someone feel like they're a movie star. They're going to start acting like that very quickly. That's what you get, Billy. But they all are getting. Left her in the hotel bar where you found her.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
You know what? Because Cindy's trash.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Who knows it? Everybody in the hotel bar. Everyone knows it's trash. Cindy's very demanding.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Because I'm aging and I don't want to go on national TV and look like I'm alone while everybody else has a hot girlfriend. So I got Cindy.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Yeah. So Serena's like, all right, three minutes and we're going to serve everything. It's going to be so sexy, so delicious. Don't forget to serve the syrup with the fork. All right. And then Laura calls down and she's like, no, change it up. We can't do this. And she's like, well, I was told to go for service. I've got all the food down here. I can't just reheat it. All right.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
So just take it up. You know, just apologize. Serena's like, no, it's made and you gave me a time and I'm sending it.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
She's not a fucking magician. Yeah. Okay.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Yeah, it looks really good. Thank you. I was just looking at that before this.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Well, it's delicious and it made me hungry and all I had were overnight oats.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Thank you. We'll be right back. . . . . . ., a, P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P, gener and . , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a in
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
I'll be back soon. I'll be home soon, honey.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
, , , , ,, P P P P P P P P P P P ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P G gi wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh wh th th th th wh th th th th th th w th th th w th w th w th w th th w th w th w th w th w th w th w th w th w th w th w th w th w th w th w th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
. . . . ., the, P. P. P. P. P. P,實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a Laboratory a
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
, , , , , , the P P P P P P P,實, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , the a and a and a and a a a a a a P P P P P P P P P P P
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Oh, my gosh. This is such bad news. I'm usually do not like doing this with bad news. But Jackie Siegel's husband, David, passed away. Oh, that's so crazy. Jacqueline was on this show, The Queen of Versailles. Oh, sending our heart out to Jackie and her family. Geez.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
I shouldn't look at my phone during a freaking recap. I mean, my God.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Well, sending our love out to them. Her butterfly necklace. Remember? We were just talking about little Hannah Farrier before this. Okay, so we go back to... Where were you? Let us look at this fish.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
It looks so beautiful. Look at this fish. Look how it is not sexy on everybody. Look, it is not seductive. Be like this fish, Rian. Be like this fish.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
All right, Vian and Harry, I heard you back and forth on the radio. That's unacceptable. It's negativity. Once you start negativity, bitching, complaining, that infection starts. All right, and what do you do with an infection? You wait for it to fester, and hopefully Norma of the Seychelles will take care of it for you. If not, I'm going to have to do something, and we all know.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
I'm barely here right now, all right? Do you know how difficult it was for me to even come out of the bridge? Very difficult. So don't make me do this again. You made $25,000. Congratulations. And tonight, you don't have the helmet. Even though Vihan's a complete fuck-up yet again, I'm going to not give him the helmet yet a fucking game.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
All right. Well, all right. Mere discovery aside, tomorrow you will be waking up and I've got a trip to a private national park beach for you. Are we excited? And Eric's like, sure we are. We have a day off.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
No, they don't have bulls. All right. So Jason leaves them with talk civilly, talk civilly to each other. All right. All right. Bye. So then Vian texts Serena and he's like, so I've got to date with Adair tonight and I'm not sure how she feels. Meanwhile, Adair is just like staring at the ball, like trying not to fall down.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
And he's like, yeah, you know, he said if you did it my way, I'd be back at the dock already. I didn't like that. And he's like, well, I'm definitely not being firm enough, Harry. Don't take it personally. And he's like, oh, no, I'm just thinking, you know, it's personal. And he's like, well, just let me run the boat, Harry. Okay, and if there's something wrong, come to me.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
And if there's nothing wrong, then leave me alone. And he's like, God, fine, geez.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Meanwhile, Vian and Johnny are talking. And Vian's like, you are my right-hand man. And he's like, yeah, you're like my brother. My very sensual brother. And Vian says, well, I want to talk to you about everything. You know, because we do everything together. You know what? People envy. especially women.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
You know, when they hit a certain age, like old Laura Benedict in there, they don't have anything going on for them anymore. They're just old. You know, what you do with an old woman, but put her out, turn her out. You can't even add milk to that to make it a decent breakfast. You know what I'm saying? Thank God we aren't women. You know, their fucking lives, their lives are terrible.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
And then they start yapping. They start yapping the whole time. All right, anybody ever wanting to date Vihan, this is the only clip you ever need to see of this man.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
It's you. Who's walking around trying to sow discord literally to everyone on this boat? You. This is what Menno is. It's the curable tiny man.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
The national anthem's so beautiful. Shut up. Just shut up. Pass the Cheetos. Christ. So then Serena and Laura are talking, and she's still in the bed with Brie. And so Serena's like, what in the lesbian name is this? That's all right. I just watch very not weirdly at all, right? And she puts her, like, vag in their faces. Yeah. Lara's like, you think he's joking, but she's not.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
She can whistle Dixie with that thing. Just give her enough time. And so Lara's like, well, what do you think is going to happen this evening? Is Vian taking Adair out on a date? Oh, yeah, a date, yeah. He actually just messaged me. He basically was like, you know, he doesn't even know if she likes him and she's playing hard to get and stuff, you know? And I said, well, you'll find out tonight.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Did he say that in the text? No. Maybe they cut some of these texts out. He didn't say that in the text that we saw.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Well, you know, that's what New York is like when you first go as a child. I went when I was 18 and it was like, wow, you just meet all these different people and you're just like a hodgepodge of people, weirdos hanging out together. I mean, I agree with you. I think it looks so, so good. We're going to cover the fuck out of that show and we're going to get in so much trouble.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Well, he's only setting a relationship boundary. He'll fuck anybody.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Yeah, but meaning that, like... At this point, Serena doesn't care, so whatever. Well, no, but this way... He's, like, literally texting another girl. He's texting her about texting another girl, and she's still all over him, so... I don't know. I think she's just like, have your fun.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Yeah, but that would be true in this case, because he did very clearly tell... I mean, isn't it okay to just have the boundary where you're like, I don't want to date you, but like, if you still want to be all over me, you can. No, but in this case, it feels like at least he's saying that. Cause he's not like, he's not fuck boying where he's like doing the emotional thing.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Like, but I think in this case, it's not the most.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Yeah. So then now it's time to go out, and Adair's getting ready for her date. And so she meets up with Vion, and he's like, you look so beautiful.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
He's like, no, you're not too crusty.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
A farmer's tan. And he's like, you are gorgeous, you know? So, Alicia is talking to Johnny and she says, you know, I know that you and the bosun share a room, but if I just come in later and just cuddle, like, that's all right, right? Is that appropriate? And he's like, sharing my bed with you is lovely. And I would do that. It is respectful. Let us do it.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Because we were doing crappy hour and we had like a little story. I mean, look, for me, it was very light shade. It's like Gia quit law school to be an influencer. Ooh, you know, we didn't like say you dumb slut. I mean, it was nothing like that. It was just like innocent jokes.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
And he's like, have you ever been to Napa Valley? She goes, well, I mean, I've traveled a decent bit, but no.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
And he's like, what? The Great Lights?
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
He's like, oh, lakes. He has no idea what they are. He's like, oh, yes. He's like, wow. Yeah. This is the most awkward date in the world, by the way. Yes.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Oh, no. So then we go to Laura and Harry talking. It's like, oh, this morning. I was like, oh, my God. When I heard that radio call, first of all, I had to stare at the phone and then wipe the yolk off of it because other people have to remember to hold it away from my face. And I said, that's not nice. That is not nice.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
He's like, oh my God. He said, if you did it, Mom, I'd beat the duck right now. She's like, oh my God. And he did it on the radio. On the radio. Yeah, I mean, but in fairness, after Harry called and undermined him to Jason on the radio. So, I don't know. Yeah.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
congratulations you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap for part two go look for the recap that says part two see you over there suckers watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like allison king our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it's amanda foster it's always automatic with ashley auto ashley savoni she don't take no baloney
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Like, oh, no, you said something like, oh, now she's, you know, thank God she's dropped being an immigration lawyer right at the time when people need immigration lawyers. And I was like, yeah, thank God she's going to sell stretchy pants on Amazon now. I mean, who cares? It was not, it was a very light shade moment. People are so pissed.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. We're on the floor with Molly Dorsett. Give them hell, Miss Noel. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kutar. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
They're going to have to get used to it. When can't you make fun of people because you're old? Fuck off. You're on the wrong damn Instagram. I'll tell you that right now because I make fun of babies. I will make fun of a damn baby as it comes out of the womb.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
How are you doing today? What a day. I mean, when you think this show can't give you a twist and a turn, I didn't see that coming at all on Below Deck Med. Did not see it coming.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
I didn't even know who that was.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
And why does she have all the screen time? Because she has like 80% of the screen time.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Yeah, you never know. I mean, they showed four people in the preview, I think. But then the poster is like 10 people.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Non-children Bravo stars. Yeah. Yeah, it looks good. So we'll do a trailer trash of that, I'm sure, in the next couple of weeks. Yeah. But for now, let's get on to Below Deck Media. First of all, just before I forget to mention this damn fish. This is such a good show for fish. We've been called out for kind of forgetting the fish sometimes.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
The most amazing one today was like the Audrey 2 from Little Shop of Horrors.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Okay, so let's get to it. We go, we start with a flashback. Okay. Well, it's not a flashback. We start with a flash forward, I guess. It's 12, 13 a.m. And Harry's sobbing to Serena.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Just like he laughs. So he's consistent in his mouth opening emotion.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
And my grandmother would say, I just want to understand what's going on. What's happened? And he's like, I hear a little bit more talking. This boat is going to sink.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
And he's like banging on the cabinet. Now, this is what we've seen the whole season. And so the whole season, it's like our White Lotus, you know, like, oh, my God. what is Johnny mad about? You know, did Parker Posey finally find out the financial state of the boat? Like what's going on? Yes.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
I feel like we've made this reference 20 times in the past two weeks, but he is Bea Arthur in The Golden Girls when she's like, she wants to kill somebody and she's like, she just eats her. She eats her fist. That's what he does. He goes right up to the camera and pulls a Bea Arthur and then covers it with his underwear. Now, I knew that Vihan was depressed or something was going on.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Like, Vihan's out of sorts because Vihan's in bed wearing underwear. And that's not like Vihan. He's usually naked. And so I was like, uh-oh, what happened to Vihan that he put his underwear on? He must be feeling like... You know, like you need your security blanket. Maybe that's his underwear. But I was like, why is Vian in his underwear? That was the first mystery for the whole season.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
It was like, why do we have a scene with Vian in bed wearing his underwear? What is happening to this show?
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
so Johnny's like what did I do bro and he's like this boat is fucking mental so 16 hours earlier Vion is talking with the captain so they're talking about the phone party and this is where he's tattletailing because he was confronted about cleaning right before breakfast and so now so he's not in trouble again he runs to do like a preemptive tattletale on everybody else so he runs to Captain Jason and he's like
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Captain, you know, I have to tell you, you know, the phone party was messy, but then I have people yelling at me about it and these people don't know. And then they yell at me and then they make me look like I'm doing something bad. I cannot work like this. I just can't do it. They're only looking out of their perspective. Yeah.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
He is. And Jason doesn't want to do anything. Like we've seen him all season be like, I'm not managing this boat. You do it. And so his advice is, all right, you see that on the table there, that bag? I do. Bring it over here. Okay. Pop a couple of those out. Okay. Put them in my mouth. They're peanut M&Ms. Thank you very much. This meeting is now over. All right. So he's like, okay, no problem.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Thank you. He's like, turn this thing around. Make a list. Make a list.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
Yeah, placate Laura. Okay. If he's got unstable eyebrows, just do whatever she asks. So Jason tells us, with Leon, you know, I'm seeing there's no accountability. And this is a concern. You know, we've got two heads of department not getting along. That could bring the boat down. And on top of that, I mean, how many times has Vian needed to get his crew in line? He's walking a very thin line.
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#2794 Below Deck Down Under S03E10 Part One: Cuddle Chaos
And if he doesn't do something to change it, I won't. But I will hope that somebody else does while I sit up here and design kimonos.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So did you, oh, I can see you're all still living after your meal. I was actually creatively visualizing you choking on your chicken bones.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yeah. I have to say, too. I don't have to say. I don't know why I keep saying. I have to say. I have to say, guys. But I will say. No, I don't like that either. I'll try on different things. But for now, I'm going to say that Daisy did a very good job in this episode because they really did ram Daisy. Daisy really got it from all sides. And Daisy's very thin-skinned, you know?
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
A long time ago, someone said, do you listen to crappins on one of her Instagram lives? She goes, oh, God, they hate me. No, we don't. We absolutely don't. But she's very thin-skinned. You know, she can't listen to a lot of this. And I don't blame her. I'm thin-skinned, too. I'll cry at the drop of a hat if someone talks shit about me.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And don't don't do it in comments just to see if it's true, because I will cry. And she handled all of this really well. I mean, I think that a lot of people would have been like, fuck those bitches in their testimonial or whatever confessional. But she was like, no, you know, at the end of the day, it's my job not to let them see how much I hate them. And I failed. So I feel bad.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Well, not right now. I mean, after work.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yeah, do it. Okay, so interior goes down to change, and Danny pulls Daisy to chat. Now, we know that Danny has just been told. We've just been reminded in the last week on Broaddack Selling.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
We saw in those clips where Daisy told Danny, basically, if you've got time for peeing, you've got time to clean. Now get off fucking Chase and go do some cleaning. And so now let's watch how Danny turns this around to be Daisy's a monster. Because God forbid anybody tells Danny something like this. We've all known children like this or we've been children like this. Hi. Hi. Hi, everybody.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Hi, mom and dad. So we see it coming from a mile off and she does not disappoint. What a dick.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
No better way to do that than a nice new piece of beautiful furniture.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Well, that's what I was expecting, but she surprised me. So she's like, well, sometimes you do. She goes, oh, oh. And she says, well, or like you'll snap at us or you'll snap at me in particular. And she's like, Oh, I snappy you in particular. And she's like, well, yeah, sometimes, you know.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And then, like, you know, I don't feel like we're always as a group performing at a whole to our peak because of it, you know. Because sometimes we're lacking. Like, we have no fucking clue what's going on. And things have gone a bit smoother. Yes, because we've taken initiative. And we've done stuff. Because now we know the program. This is all such bullshit.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I don't know how she doesn't grab her by the hair and throw her off the side of the boat. Because this is bullshit. She tells you what to do. That's your problem with her. Whenever she tells you something to do, you get upset with her and want to go cry about it.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yeah, get that head, you know, after work. Well, I mean, get it at work, too. It's kind of like what Daisy's in trouble for. Do it at work if you can, but don't get caught. Okay? Exactly. Hi, John's Pizza.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Well, that's great. You just confessed to that guilt. And I just confessed to giving blowies at John's Pizza when I worked there.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
If you're looking to get away with all the fabulous luxe experience of the Housewives, but none of the drama, check out Virgin Voyages.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I just did my place all mid-century modern, and I got the most beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Elevating my style used to mean breaking the bank, but with Quince, I get high-end, versatile pieces at prices I can actually afford. Now I can upgrade my style by snagging luxury essentials that sync with my vibe and my wallet.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
The best part? All Quince items are priced 50-80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman and passes the savings on to us. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices, along with premium fabrics and finishes. I love that.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.com slash crappins for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's quince.com, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash crappins to get free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com slash crappins. So Daisy's like, I'm sorry you felt like that. Or you felt like a snappage. And secondly, if you don't know what you're doing, come and ask me.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I'd like to think I'm very approachable.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Sorry about that. I'm a little direct right now. Guys, I've been getting really super artistically inclined lately and listening to culture. And so I was listening to Sabrina Carpenter, the Sabrina Carpenter song, because it was being broken down on that podcast song, Exploder, which is so good. Anyway, I was listening to it and they were talking about the meaning of death.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And she has this lyric, and I'm not quoting it directly because I didn't write it down, but it's something like, if you don't want to cry to my music, don't make me hate you prolifically. And that's just, like, so beautiful. And I think that's what Daisy's saying right now. Like, if you don't want me to be direct with you, don't be stupid. If you don't want me calling you stupid, don't be stupid.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Be better. How about that? Which came first, the chicken, the egg, or the stupid person who didn't want to be called stupid by a chicken or an egg? Okay? Stupid people. You don't want to be called stupid.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
There's something for every style and home, no matter your space or budget.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Well, and as a choreographer, especially at his level, he's in a position where people are working so hard for their passion. They have passion. They come with passion. And passion doesn't win you anything. And most people in his business are like, but I have so much passion. How could you think that I'm not good enough? And it's like, your passion doesn't even count here.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And then here comes this girl, like, I need you to give me some passion. That's not how passion works, you dipshit. Nobody's gonna be able to inspire you about being excited to clean shit off a seat. That's just not how life works.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yeah, it's no one's job to make you fucking want to be there, you know? So then Danny's like, it's just hard to care when it just feels like you don't. Oh, hell no. That's when I heard all the chairs in the saloon scrape against the floor as they backed up, you know? And Daisy's like, well, I'm sorry that I give off the vibe that I don't want to be.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And then her Popeye eye is like almost completely closed. She's got one eye like completely like this, like cockeyed. It's like, I think I'm a very pleasant crew member.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
When she walked past her, I died. She's like, let me go think how I can create passion for you. Okay. And then she gives her this big, creepy smile and then pats her on the leg like, got it. And I was like, oh, no. Daisy is going to go fucking crazy on this girl. Daisy is going to find a way to make this girl's life a living hell. And I was wrong. Thank God.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
But I was like, oh, my God, this does not look good for this poor young girl.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home. Wayfair.com.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And then Danny's like, well, her headspace is very different. It's millennial. It's like they tried to rub it on her face like they're so much older and wiser. This is so funny being so old and listening to these children. Because, you know, we've had these fights a decade ago, and it was the Xers versus the millennials. It was the same thing. The millennials were like, you need to dance.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Pirates that do work. And the exes were like, yeah, well, we're tough and hard and we can make dinner out of a matchstick and a garbage tie from a trash bag. You know, like we weren't known for being the laziest fuckers in the world during our age. Don't you remember Reality Bites with Ben Stiller and Janine Garofalo?
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Like what like shitheads we were and how we were like the laziest do nothing generation. That's just how it is. You know, the young people hate the old people. The old people hate the young people. God, it just feels so good to watch it.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
We're old bitches. Look at your ball sack. That's how it happened. Look at your ball sack. How did it get so low? How is it even doing that? I didn't even know there was that much skin there. Sometimes I'm like, where are you going? Are you carrying a jug of water to a small village? Who are you even?
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Lord knows he probably had a son. So then Glenn comes. So she's just, of course, wrecked by this whole Danny thing, you know? So her head's about to fucking pop off and or cry. She goes to the bathroom, right? Which we all know means you're going to cry or you're going to fuck somebody. Or take a giant poop if you're Gary, if you go to that bathroom and they get you on camera.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So then she goes in there. But then Glenn comes and he's like, Daisy, can I have a chat?
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So she comes out to chat with him and he's like, guys, you know, listen, Daisy, I had a chat with them and they just felt a little like the service wasn't up to the level that they should expect on a super yacht. Can we play the song?
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Well, is there anybody that you do want to be around? No. Great. Well, at least you're consistent. Okay. So you get points for that. So, you know, you set the tone for your apartment. So how can we come up with a way that if we get the exact same mood from the next guest, but this time with really terrible wigs and tons of makeup, what can we do different? She's like, oh, my God, this fucking day.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Now you're telling me it's coming back, but in heels.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Fuck me. I'll be back. And you know, her temper, it's like, she's going to cry and scream and everything. And so she does the best thing. She walks away and he's like, don't get yourself upset. But she leaves and he's like, okay, take a moment and come back. I'll just be here waiting. And then he crosses his legs and sits on the bed. Like I'm literally going to sit here and wait.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yeah, you got time to weep. You got time to sweep, lame ass.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yeah, and I always say it's very hard work for somebody that doesn't give a fuck. She's doing that thing where she's like a badass because she told off the boss. So she's like going to go brag to everyone that she told off the boss. But it just makes her look so pathetic, I think.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So, Rihanna's like, well, work-wise, she's not the worst chief steward because she's actually, like, she's comprehensive and stuff. She's like, well, I've not seen that all. So, kudos to you for noticing that, but I've not seen that. Now, I look like a fucking bitch, so she's going to shit on me and make my life a fucking hell.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
How are you? Well, hello. How are you? You know, in luxury experience, I expect more. I would appreciate it if women could be as kind as men. Welcome to this episode of Below Deck Sailing. Oh my gosh, what a bunch of dopes.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Idiot. But also, this is another reason I was really proud of Daisy, because this is probably what a lot of people would have done was make her life a living hell. And I think Daisy was tempted to. But Daisy's smart enough to see what this idiot's doing, which is manipulate her into looking like a bad boss.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
in front of everybody else and getting revenge and doing all that stuff so that this girl would have a complaint so she could go to HR or whoever and at the very worst get a payment of some kind, some kind of settlement of some kind for complaining and at best just make her look fucking stupid and ruin her reputation in the industry because God forbid she told this girl to stop making out.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
instead of cleaning you know i know but and it's like she knows she just knows that that's what she's gonna do and she doesn't play into it even though she wants to punch her in the fucking face so danny goes hmm this is like so mind gamey i don't do mind games it's just like facts like you literally have been doing mind games since you've gotten on here
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I thought Siberia was a saying until I left underwear on the floor one time.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So she's like, I love Daisy. Yeah. Diana is like, I haven't lost a finger. So I love her. I mean, this is great. Leave a speck of poop on Putin's toilet and see how that works out for you. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So Daisy comes back. And she's like, I'm sorry for walking off. And Glenn's like, well, I'm sorry for just sitting in this bed. But God damn, it's comfortable. Okay, let's talk.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So this is not about chewing you out, Daisy. This is about the fact that I lived in a cave. Thank you for the shot of me with an afro in the 70s. No, it didn't go great in your department. I know you can do it. Now take that on board. Realize that. Hey, I can do better, right?
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And saying how terrifying Daisy is. And this girl's so fucking stupid that she's going to go to Gary first when she knows that Gary is totally in love with Daisy. But it's a double because Gary chose Daisy over her. So she was dumped that way. So she's going to keep trying to turn Daisy. I mean, sorry, keep trying to turn Gary, even though she's already got Chase. Yeah.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
She's just so fucking pathetic. And I have to remind myself, this girl is 23, you know? And so that I do think is part of it, where you're just young, you know? She's doing, like, young, stupid baby things. But listen, I chose not to have children for a reason. And at this point, I'm just like, spank your children, you know? Chase goes...
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Okay, okay, I deserved that time. All right, well, the tip, you know, you can't expect other people, just because they're miserable doesn't mean we have to be miserable. We've got to give good service no matter what. Now, here's our tip. $15,000, which is actually really good for a one-day charter. And so everybody's like, wow, I can't believe it. What a relief.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Dr. Contessa remains the cheapest tipper of the season.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Ouch. I'm still mad at Contessa about that. And I've never really loved her on Married to Medicine anyway, as you know. I'm still pissed they brought her back. But I watch Married to Medicine every week. And every time I see her, I'm like, just shut up, you fucking lame tipper. I will never forgive her. She can never do anything to get back in my good graces. I'm like, get her, Heavenly. Get her.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
okay okay so you know they're all appreciative because and daisy's like we weren't expecting that and they didn't get a good experience and that was very generous so we appreciate it there do i have a smile in my eyes like no well i tried god damn it i need a moment
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Well, she picked the wrong fucking person. I'm going to get that bitch. Oh, God. And he's like, got a boner. I've got a boner. All I see is a piece of toast coming out of your fly. That's it. That's the boner.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
He was like, I'd like to have a good night because I have the best night when you're having a good night, so I hope that you have a good night. That's me. Good-natured kid. I've been in plays in high school.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I've got to stop doing Daisy because I'm getting legit cockeyed. I can feel my face. I'm going to have like a mini stroke Bell's palsy situation making that face. And it's going to get stuck like that. And that's going to be.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I'm going to walk around like this in life.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
She does. She really does. She's got some kind of magic there. So let's see. So then Kloys, you know, because Daisy's still like, that was the worst charge I've ever done. And Kloys is like... I think you did an incredible job, all things considered. She's like, you're very sweet, little one. And he's like, I like the psychology of an older lady. Yeah. I would kill him if he said that about me.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I can't. Can we stop at the swing club?
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So then Daisy is like, cheers to being better. She's talking, they're ordering drinks and food and stuff. And she goes, we're not perfect, everyone. We're human. And it's hard to be self-aware and to know what your flaws are and then to hear them back. And you're like, yeah, I know my flaws. And it's kind of double-edged because she could be talking about Danny too.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So Danny, who's not winning this war, she's been trying to start a whisper campaign and it's not working. So then she's a little defensive and she's like, actually, I hate farting. I thought she was saying farting. She's like, I actually hate farting.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
But when somebody hurts my feelings or disrespects my boundaries to say something hurtful, what did she say to hurt your feelings, disrespect your boundaries, or that was hurtful to you?
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Disrespect her boundaries. She's farting on you.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And that's when we know that she and Gary are definitely not compatible. Because she can only fart at you when you've hurt her feelings. And Gary will just fart on you to show his love. You know? They have an incompatible fart love language.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And everyone just kind of ignores her because she's obviously trying to start a fight. And Daisy's like, OK.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So Gary is talking to Keith and asking him about what's up with Daisy. And Keith's like, I don't know. At first, he was more decided she was being a really good friend. But I think more recently, like the last charter, it evolved. I was going to ask you, Gary, because I know you guys have history. So I have musical theater history. You know, you can't get a man with a gun.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
That's what I always say. So I value both of you a lot. The last thing I want is to have a friendship out the window because I hook up with something like that. You know what I'm saying. I'm just going to keep lifting my hands and my arms and question pose like I'm saying a question.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
What was that? What were you saying? I'm sorry. I sort of fell into a fugue seat there. And we all know that this means Gary is going to go into full guilt mode with Daisy. Like, how could she let their relationship go like this? So now Cloyce is flirting with Daisy because she paid for dinner.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And we all know Cloyce is a cheap ass because the only time he almost cried this chart this whole season is when he had to pay the bill. So he loves a woman who pays for dinner. And he's like, so, Daisy, this is the club now. He's like, Daisy, I just couldn't help but notice you noticing me noticing you.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I just saw those kind of cataract eyes of yours, kind of bluish gray, just kind of looking off to the distance like you couldn't see anything. But then suddenly seeing me and thinking, is that a train? It turns me on.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Your tawny dick little foul face. That was a good one.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
No offense. I'll never fuck you. That's all I heard. And Keith is like, I'll take it. And to be honest with you, I'm very into you. You're a good vibe. You're fun. I want to see you after this. Well, I feel the same way. I really do. Enjoy your company. Are we done here? He's like, let's kiss. I'm like, how does Daisy win like this? I fucking love that Daisy is a chain-smoking drunkard.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
You know... And she's got three dudes after her. She's just fully making out with him with wine and cigarette breath. Good for you, Daisy. Daisy's my fucking hero after this episode. She is a hero. She really is. She's an international treasure.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
These are exclusively built kid-free cruises, so no matter what you're looking for, you can get the type of experience you need most, all catered to adult tastes. I mean, we love our children.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I want to. I mean, I like Keith, but Daisy, she needs somebody more exciting than Keith. She looks like tired when she's with Keith.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So I just... She just comes to life when she's with Gary in a way that I haven't seen her come to life with other people. So that's what I'm basing it on. So let's see here. Then, of course, Chloe sees it, and he's bummed. And then now it's time to go back to the boat, and Daisy's telling... Gary, of course, who already knows, is like, Daisy, what's the most fun?
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
What's the best part of your night, Daisy? Blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
She's like, yeah, I kissed someone. It was nice. I'm so tired. Goodbye. And Diana's like, yeah, you've had a bit of a roller coaster. She goes, I have had a bit of roller coasters. Thank you for acknowledging that. I'm going to bed.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Very healthy guys. Got to get them vitamins in for 2025. Yeah.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So then Chase and Danny go to bone. There's a lot of butt slapping and sounds. And that was my favorite one when he just slaps her butt and she goes.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Church Army commercial. Yeah. So Gary is hooking up with Keith. Oh, Gary is talking. He's making fun of Daisy, being like, oh, you're hooking up with Keith? And she's like, is that okay with you? And he's like, hey, tell me you wanted to be just work colleagues, and that's what we're going to be, is work colleagues. I just didn't think you were going to hook up with someone so soon. Oh.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So then Daisy is talking with Keith and she's like, you know that Gary and I have a very complicated relationship. He farts on my face. I tell him I'm going to murder him. I put Drano in his drinks. He barfs a little bit. We make out. We hate each other again. We start each other's houses on fire. You know, that sort of thing. And Keith is like, I find that intriguing. She's like, oh, all right.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Well, he's not OK with us kissing. He says he's OK with us kissing, but he's not. He's like, I'd love to hear about your Gary drama. All right. Here's what I'm trying to say.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And he's like, all right, let's make out. And she's like, you're still going to make out with me? He's like, love it. So she's into it. She's like, he's got self-confidence. I like that. And I can still bitch about Gary every day, and he's not going to mind. I mean, win-win.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So Gary is doing his whole, like, well, she's made it very clear we're just work colleagues, but I have such feelings for Daisy. Which I'm not falling for, for two seconds. So then Daisy and Keith make out in bed, and then Gary and Daisy wake up the next day, and... He's like, are you going to have a little chat this morning? And he's like, I just want good vibes for the rest of the season.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And she's like, oh, God, if someone came at me and I was absolutely awful and led me to tears, that's what you care about is me making up with her.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
You'll get planted for that, bitch. So then Daisy passes by the girls and she goes, Donnie, do you know what you're doing or do you need some directions? She's like, we know. She goes, good. Fucking morons. So then Deanna goes, well, I hope the energy gets better. And, no, I think Danny says that, right? Danny says, like, I hope the energy gets better.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Also, we're doing San Francisco and San Diego first. We're going to be doing those in just a couple weeks. We're so excited. Go get tickets. Watch at crappins.com. And then following the crappies that week, I mean, right after that, we're going to be in Denver and Salt Lake City. Okay, so come. Also, you've been asking about Southern Hospitality.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And Deanna's like, well, our energy's up there. She goes, no, our energy is good. But her energy. I was like, oh, shut up. You did what you wanted, and it didn't work. Okay? Just stop. You're really wanting this girl who you just jumped on the peen that she wanted after jumping on every other peen that she wanted for the whole season. And you really think she's going to jump on your side?
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yeah, and Keith is just like, good to know. So then he's like, yeah, I don't want to piss off my boss, but I like Daisy. There's something there. And so he's like, Daisy's her own woman. And Chase is like, we're all incestuous, disgusting pigs at the end of the day, huh? And Keith goes, we're all just winky cousins, eh?
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Oh, my gosh. So Detox has a million followers. That's crazy. 1.1 million followers. Was Detox on RuPaul? Uh-huh. On RuPaul season five and All-Stars season two or three. I can't tell because there's an exclamation point. Wow. And the founder of Fluorescence Supplements. Who was that? What does that do? Supplements. About our ingredients. I can't read all that.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Have you gotten your 10-serving bottle of After Party yet? No. When you're doing dry January, but your bestie asks you if you want to get $8 espresso martinis. What's fluorescence? I need to know what it is. I'll take it.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yeah. So Glenn's like, well, this is a famous drag superstar thrilled to finally be taking a vacation. She's bringing along her sister, Heather, along with fellow drag queen, Lola LaCroix and three other friends. Her friend, Mark is an adult film director. It's his first time back. And wait, why is that funny? And they're just cracking up and they're like, oh my God,
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
We are recording it right after this episode, so it will be up probably later today or tomorrow morning. And normally going forward, that show will come out on Monday afternoons. Okay, so that's when that one's coming out, guys. Great show. Watch it. Let's get into Below Deck Sailing Yacht, Season 5, Episode 13, Mid-Strive Crisis.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
porn porn he's a porn star no he directs it he says go in go out go in go out i guess i'm in the wrong industry you should have seen that telenovela last night it was pretty close
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So I think Keith and Daisy are hanging out in the galley and or not the galley, but like the snack room or whatever. And he's asking where Chase slept last night. And she says that he was in one of the guest cabins. And he's like, oh, I thought that was a big no, no. They're the ones that clean it. What do I care? And listen, one thing I trust Danny with is cleaning.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Wait a minute, wait a minute. I was doing so good. Strike that last part. However, saying that, it's not my job to create passion in you, you dumb little hooker. I was like, all right, there we go. But she actually stayed pretty strong. She did the whole, like, started off easy, and then she just ripped her. And she was like, you know, I'm not going to create passion in you.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And you saying that this season's only carrying on because you have initiative, that's very undermining. And yes, we get fucked up charters, but that's not fair to put on me. And to say that you feel hard done by, I'm really not okay with it. I'm your manager. I'm good at my job. And I think it's important for you to understand your rank. I've given you extra liberties, like letting you fuck.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Do you want to get off from the fucking? And then that's when Danny's like, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Please don't take away my, you know, my sploosh.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yeah. You're going to be having some closet fucking if you don't apologize really quick. So she's like, I'm so sorry.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't take away my penis. She's like, all right, just get off me now. So then she's like, I think Danny lost sight of what her role is. She's here to do beds and heads and set the table if I allow her to. She's like, ooh, I'm going to cut off her sex life and her artistic passion.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
No, no. She's got three guys after her. You have one who probably would still be after her. Give him five minutes, you know, because he hasn't let up on Deanna yet either, by the way. So I love that. By the way, that's another thing we didn't mention is Chase does his like, I'm just a flirt with girls. But it's really only Deanna and Danny. He's not doing it with Daisy or anybody else.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
It's going to be one of the greatest all-time episodes of Watch What Crappens Ever.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So, yeah, I don't know that I'd feel so secure over there, Danny. So then... Yeah, I think he's still keeping those options open and who can blame him, you know? So then Keith is in the mess with Glenn and he's looking over the preference sheet cracking up and he's like, Mark is an adult filmmaker. Then his first time back since filming an award-winning adult movie. This is his IMDb. Sweet meat.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
You asked for it. Train my hole. And urine Ibiza. Here it is. It's called, it's spelled urine. Urine. Urine Ibiza.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
But it wasn't like trying to say something. It wasn't like a pun. It was literally you're in town.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I'm just getting so tired of watching people pee on each other and like local places. There's people peeing on each other in Ibiza. Yes. Boner.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
This is already the best episode.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
That's just how we are. You know what? I wish I could say me and my gays were better. We are not. We are not. We are not better than that. Yeah.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So Keith is like, so we all getting dragged for this charter. And Davide is like, I actually won a competition back in the day. Men dressed like women, women dressed like men. I was hot. I was hot. I was young, 18, 17. There were people watching, cheering, urinating on me, filming. I just smashed it. What can I say? And then we see a picture of it and it's so cute.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
It was like such like boy drag, you know?
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And they're like, well, what did you win? And he goes, I can't remember. Probably some free ice creams. I'm Italian.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So then now it's time to sell, guys. And meanwhile, the gays are eating fruit, a fruit tray. And one of them's like, oh my god, this fruit tastes like garlic. And Lola's like, garlic? Oh my god, let me try it. This tastes like anal!
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I'm not Danny, I'm Daisy and Keith. Yeah, but he does. But he takes ownership, kind of, behind their backs. So then Lola's like, I really want that dragon fruit. Need it. So the new plate of fruit comes. And Danny's like, you know, everything was cut with a new board and a new knife. So I'm hoping for the best. If not, it's probably the fruit. Well, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yeah, she's like, are we letting her do this one? And Diana's like, well, I mean, she was doing it. She was putting it down. And she's like, well, it looks like a grimoire. So then the guests sit for dinner. And Chloe, meanwhile, is making croquettes. And he's like, well, Spain, as we know, is famous for croquettes. You have Spanish thighs, lemon aioli, enjoy. And so he hasn't brought one yet.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
He's behind with one, but he gets one back. And then Lola is not liking it. Yeah.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Absolutely. Yeah, I was kind of embarrassed for Lola because that was actually a good thing to serve. I don't think he was out of pocket serving them croquettes. That's crazy. And they looked great. And she looked kind of stupid calling it a mozzarella stick. I was like, no, you poor thing. You may be rich, but you're still kind of trashy in this area.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
But I will say, I agree with you that it was so funny watching her go from man to woman and then becoming such a bitch.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
because there is something about power you know it's like when you get so much power so fast you don't really know what to do with it because i'll tell you this that is a beautiful woman i mean oh my god she looked like jenny when she came out i was like who is that she is fucking gorgeous that is amazing the other one detox that wig didn't fit that one was a mess but this one i was like damn
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yes, she was an Angelica Houston drag queen. I was like, I don't think I've ever seen that. That's so bold. I love it.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
yeah she looked great in this outfit but the one that she was in earlier when she was wearing like the kind of patsy stone blonde hair the you know her other hair was shiny coming through on the bottom and stuff i was like okay this one's a little messy but man lola damn girl but lola yeah lola came out looking like 1997 jenny mccarthy and
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And cheese sticks. And Daisy was like, you know, yeah, I'll pass. She's cracking up though. She's like, I'll pass it along. And then the rest of the guests are like, no, this is actually amazing. She's like, no, thanks. But they're like, you're crazy. This is really good. So she leaves. She's like, I'm out of here. If we're going to wait forever, I'm just leaving anyway.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
you know with a modified cigarette butt ashed out in it just kind of you know floating along the sea you know and i get it you know when you're in a luxury experience you want to be treated like the one percent unfortunately you're not the one percent and we know this because you're a one-day charter you're one day charter so you can drop the attitude and you know what i can say as a person who's been in service my whole life not the service you know god bless you america
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And they're like, what's wrong with Lola? So I thought there was going to be some story like Lola was just going off the rails. And by the end, she'd be snorting coke off, you know, Captain Glenn's ass or something. I was like, Lola's going down. Maybe while there was a...
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
The first two were kind of cute, but then it got to be like, you sad old queen. You know what I mean? Like, just stop. Like, you're literally so Botox and so filled up and so sucked up on everything that you're trying to be young that when you see an actual young person, you're this mean to them. It's just weird. Like, you can't be this mean and steal their spinal fluid later. So pick a lane.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Dun, dun, dun. He's very consistent in his inconsistencies. And at this point in the season, I need someone that I can depend on. Does anybody know someone I can depend on?
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And that brings us to the end of Below Deck Sailing Yard. Good episode. Really good Daisy Under Fire episode. I enjoyed it.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Hava Nagila Webber. Know Your Worth with Jason Kerr.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay B. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
service people, but I mean the service industry. And let me tell you, we get sick of people like this real fast. And it is part of our job to not let them know how much we hate them. But sometimes that mask slips a little. Now, I don't think that it really did. I mean, I think that everybody was pretty nice to them.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
You know, considering I don't think that anybody really reacted and they even said it. So here's the scene. We've got Shari and her friend Jillian down there telling Captain Glenn how much everything sucked. And Jillian saying, when you come for this level of luxury, you want what you pay for, which is 50% discounted, you know, crap drinks. Yeah.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yeah, what you paid for is half price. So let's not bring how much you paid into this one day charter person. Okay. And she said, I feel like the guys went over and beyond to kind of help us have a good time. But the girls were all really friendly. But some of the things that came up is that they weren't attentive. They weren't as attentive as the guys. Bullshit.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
The guys didn't have to bring you drinks. The guys didn't have to listen to you diss them over and over again while you complained and complained and acted like serving you an Aperol Spritz, which you asked for, was a sin against nature.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
She has really takes enough pride in being in that community now from working for Putin for so long on the yachts or whatever. And listen, she doesn't have resting bitch face. I don't think that's even a nice thing to say about her. She has resting. I worked for Putin for a long time. Yes. Yes. Which is like, you can fuck with me, but I can have you killed if I get Putin in the right mood. Yeah.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Book now at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor. How annoying is it to have to switch apps to watch your favorite movies and videos? Different logins, forgotten passwords. Well, not anymore.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yeah, I can say like, instead of my Christmas bonus, can you murder these assholes who were mean to me on the yacht? So then Shari is like, well, yeah, she thought the girls were friendly, but they were just friendly in front of us. But then as soon as they turned around, they were just rolling their eyes. Well, you can't get mad at me for what I do when I turn my back. I mean, what the hell?
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Isn't that part of freedom of speech that I can turn my back and roll my eyes at your stupid ass? You're lucky they didn't do it to your face. Frankly, I think this cast deserves a medal of honor for not doing it to your face. The fact that they did it behind your back, they deserve a Tony Award.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Cut to a black and white picture of him with an afro in the 70s. And so Shari's like, you were great, though. You made up for everything. He's like, oh, thank you. And I appreciate you saying that. And that's very nice. But, you know, we're a team. So, you know, if one person falls, we all fall. We're like dominoes, like the pizza. God, the nurses love pizza.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Jeez, I wish we could have had that delivered in the cave.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Stay around for about 10 more minutes, you'll get to see the cabinet door open.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And poor Daisy, chicken fingers. And poor Daisy just thinks it spilled champagne. Girl, no. They are ragging your whole existence in there. They're like, take out the trash. Her name is Daisy. So now the guests come out. And it's awkward. And Daisy's like, oh, they were complaining. We knew it. I can see it on their face. Look at their complaining face. And Shari is like, thanks everyone.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
There were just a few little hiccups. We felt a little tension between some of the girls. Hopefully we didn't work you too much. Yeah, you did. And you felt it. You didn't see it. So get the fuck out of here with your non-complaint. Okay. I deserve employee of the month for you not seeing me roll my fucking eyes.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Experience the convenience of having your favorite subscriptions in your Prime Video account with one login and one password. 100 more subscriptions to unlock a world of movies, TV, and sports all in one app. I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
So he's like, I'm passing this to Glenn. He can fucking do it. This isn't my job. But this is giving me notes of like, you know, good dad, bad mom type thing where the dad is always the good guy because he works all day. Nobody ever sees him. He comes home. And this is like an old style families. I know what I'm saying sounds like sexist from the 50s, but I'm old.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
And so, you know, it's like my dad always got away with everything because he was always at work. And then my mom had to discipline me in the day. So my mom was always the bitch. And my dad's, you know, like the hero because he just takes us out for pizza. That's all he has to do, you know. And that's giving me a little bit of this.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Like, oh, the guys get away scot-free because all they have to do is really walk around and like flex their glutes at you a little bit. And the girls are the ones who have to deal with you bossing them around all day. That's not fair.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
That's a great episode of Ronnie. I think you're right. So it's my favorite thing to hear. Right. It's, you know, it's a few far between, but God, I just love to hear it. Okay, so Glenn's like, guys, that was a tough one. Wasn't our easiest charter. We'll chat about it and come up with solutions. But for now, let's get everyone changed. And so Daisy's like, oh, God.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
I'm also not going to take it when you're giving us so much hostility and we're working all these hours. I'm going to talk to Glenn. We're going to work on this. And Keith is like, I think you did a great job. Not that I was there for any of it.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
Yeah, Shari would have been like, that was probably one of the girls. Get him.
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#2678 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E13: Drag Her!
shoe or the size of her pocket seems good and comfortable for putting keys in you know things like that i certainly don't want to feel like i don't want people to feel like i don't like them but frankly i don't i've had this problem many many times i mean you know how many times daisy's had this problem in her life where she's people are like i feel like daisy hates me all the time you know let a woman live the only it's called our personality i mean jesus
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Listen, there are red flags all over these people, okay? The first is, we're divas, which sounds like you're assholes. It sounds like you're just saying we're going to be a bunch of assholes, which it doesn't seem that they are, you know, because we've seen this episode. So it doesn't seem that they are. But at this point, I'm like, oh, divas. And then the other thing is mermaids.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So it's like you're going to be demanding shit while also, you know, complaining about the patriarchy. You know, I know about the mermaid movement and trust me, I'm probably going to join it at some point. But as someone in service, I was like, oh no, this is going to be trouble.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
They're like, to somebody who will never, ever, ever, ever get an Oscar, let's please welcome the Starz Flash.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
She was like, hi, I'm a diva and I like cooked Wagyu.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
I was like, guys, it has been so nice being friends with you for 25 years. I mean, ever since you pulled me out of Tom Hanks's trunk, it's just been so wonderful.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Serene is like, I just can't, you know, every time a live lobster comes in, she just eats it.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Yeah, I like that they showed Daryl Hannah as like a mermaid who was like wild, you know, just a wild beast that had to be tamed by Tom Hanks. Like an uncouth monster of a mermaid. Yeah, because remember in The Little Mermaid, I think all she had to do was learn to walk or something.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Also, to be a mermaid, you should probably swim.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
i think that that's so offensive to the cuttlefish you know who wants people taking pictures of what it looks like when you're about to eat them this would be mine ronnie coming in to take a bite of a kit kat it's like you should if you go to the new york times it's still up there just so you know I probably can't go look at it because I don't have a subscription to that.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Cause I'm a stupid person and I don't want to feel smart. Okay. People with your fucking wordle. Oh no, I can pull it up. It's letting me pull it up. What a crap sees before it gets eaten by a cuttlefish. Oh my God. And it's like a 3d rendering. Who did they even assign to this? Mateo Stanton. Mateo Stanton has some time on his hands.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Oh, gosh, you're right. This news is fucking depressing. Listen, are the White Lotus brothers going to fuck or not? That's all I need to know from you. I know. It's literally all I want to know. Who wins the traders and are the brothers on White Lotus going to fuck? That's the news, period. I don't want you do that for me. I will subscribe to your ass and not until then. Okay.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So, uh, everybody is getting ready for this charter and Lara is going to keep Bree on service and put Marina and housekeeping again, second time in a row. And she's like, it's because you smashed it in housekeeping last time. Note to anybody coming on this show, don't smash it in housekeeping. Okay. Or you're going to keep, keep getting put there. Okay.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Do a bad, bad job in housekeeping and then do a great job in service. Like, come on guys, this show has been on 19 years. You haven't figured it out.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
That's that. Those are my thoughts as well. I was really happy to see a douche emerge because I was like casting. I mean, just last week I was yelling at casting, like, do your goddamn jobs. What are all these people with no traumas? You've got no douchebags. I mean, what's happening over there, but guess what? Casting said, fuck you. And you want the footage, release the Kraken and here it comes.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
And I think this is one of those times it's good to stress what he just said, which is safety is our first priority, the coming from behind. Okay, let's just remember that he said that at this point in the episode because it all goes out the window soon.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So now, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, and Lara's gossiping with Bri about Serena being upset because, you know, Vion told Harry that he was, like, really excited that she asked him out. And now Serena's all hurt. And so she's like, well, you want to hear it from Harry? Harry will tell us. Let's get Harry.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So they make Harry come in to gossip with them, who, of course, messy-ass Harry loves this, you know? Of course.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
A mud wracker? Seriously? And he's like, yeah, you know, he doesn't like Serena anyway. And Lara's like, oh, God, I think they need to have a conversation. Don, don, don.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
This is why I had to get out of there, all right? Zarina, Marina, can't. So he's like, and on the flip side, I'm onto someone else anyway. And he like gives that like handsome oily wink smile thing. And so then Bri's like, and Bri knows Harry well enough to know already. She's like, Harry fixing it seems like it might make it worse.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
I actually wish that was Harry's backstory. It would give him something. You know, I need more from Harry than just like, I'm nice. I love my parents. You know, I need like, everywhere I go, kettles explode. It's like his stupid part.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
And so far he's kind of a sly douchebag is not as evil. Like there's nothing really evil there, but he did almost kill somebody today. So.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
What was the guy whose car kept starting on fire? What was it? What was the guy? I remember a car fire. Did he start cars on fire?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Yeah, yeah, that guy. That was Adam, I think. Okay, so anyway, um, Rihann, his way of dealing with this is, like, kind of flirting with Serena, so he's like, so let me know if you need a hand, and she's like, well, it's like you feel guilty, huh? I mean, is there a reason you should feel guilty? It's like you haven't asked out the stunning chef yet. Mm-hmm.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
asked me so I just went along with it you know yeah I'm not fully anti Vian yet because I don't really think he's done that much wrong I mean he made out with Serena in a hot tub of course he knows he likes her but everybody likes him so or he knows that she likes him but everybody kind of likes him so I think at this point it's okay to kind of play the field don't you
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Yeah, it was a double whammy for sure.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Yeah, and being bossed around by the lady who he doesn't like. So it's all kind of coming at the same time. So Jason is now texting the sous chef and they're going to be coming in three days. So he tells Serena and he's like, she's just here to support you. All right. And occasionally try on kimonos, but I'm going to need you to be in the room for that because I don't want it to be problematic.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
All right. It's just for my Webby.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Also, I don't get the CVs that they put up on the screen because I just, I'm a very lazy watcher and that feels like reading, you know?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Well, that's fishy, though. Do you think they're bringing her on because they're going to fire Serena? Because Serena keeps messing up.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So, um, let's see. So now Laura, okay. So the guests arrive. Okay. And we see their bio. They're from Chicago and Asha is a restaurant owner and Gail is a travel consultant and they've been friends for over 25 years. So now they get the tour and, um, Laura's like, Vian, um, if the deck team is available, can they help with the luggage? And he's like, we're changing into our blues.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
We can help in 2020. No, sir. Get your ass down there. 20 minutes to change into your blue security luggage? That's your damn job. You better get over there.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
He's like, but I need to plan these things. Should I wait for her to ask me to an ice cream shop? So then Serena's like, well, today's lunch, I'm going to make it light because having a charter guests on who are from the restaurant side means they're going to be super picky. So I'm going to make salad and salad and then possibly a soup and then a soup and a salad possibly. So those are my plans.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So they're talking about unpacking the guests, and he's like, I haven't even unpacked my clothes yet. And she's like, oh, I'll unpack for you. Depends on if you pay me in several kisses, I'll think about it, huh?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
He's like, oh, God. Not one, but seven. Laying it on so thick. You know, I'm just so embarrassed for everybody on this show right now. It's a lot of cringe. Yeah.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Yeah. And I always feel bad because people who call themselves foodies are generally not foodies and a restaurateur could mean anything. Like, do you own a chain of, do you own a chain of like Chipotle's? You know, not to say that that's not culinarily at the top of its game, but still.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Okay. I get that. You don't, you don't do things in meters. I get that. You know, I'm an American, but you're working on a boat internationally. You, you should probably, this is your job. You need to know how to do this. Like meters. That's stupid. Hey, how many feet are they? And I don't mean real feet. I mean, the size of my foot. I'm about a seven.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
How many size sevens do you think those are away?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So he's like, I ain't no a hundred diameters. And she's like, okay, is that supposed to be cute? Motherfucker. So they dropped the anchor, lunch is served and then they have to go and they love the lunch by the way. And then they have to go to the beach to do the mermaid thing, which is probably the best scene that's been on the season yet. Is that lady trying to be a mermaid?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
i mean k2r whatever whatever they need to do like put the cushions back roll the towels make sure it doesn't look like a pigsty out there could you please do that for me thank you so much and he's like okay and she says yeah but maybe you have a checklist to just clarify though i mean you know checklist write it down and he's like okay i'll make a checklist now she goes yeah because this stuff needs to get done all right and if it's not done i'm
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
I'm going to put a trail of candy from your bed into Serena's and we'll see how you survive it.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Meanwhile, Serena needs help. So Jason's going to help her. She's like, I'm really fucking behind here. You know, it's the worst it's ever been. I'm so, so sorry. And he's just, you know, like detergent, you know, just give it to me. So then it's mermaid time. So they're trying to get mermaid tails on these guests, which this whole scene, I was dying laughing.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
This lady finally gets the mermaid tail on and then she just starts flopping around the water. There's makeup all over her face. They're like, take a glamorous picture. And then she's just like all askew and looking terrible. And then they put inspiration and it's like some Daryl Hannah level mermaid. And then it just cuts to her. Oh my God.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Mermaid? That's a huge thing I keep telling you. Mermaiding.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Keep on falling. I'm still in. I'm in for the ride. But yeah, I feel the same way about Johnny. I thought he was going to be such a jerk and he's just so charming. Like now I can see little Serena Johnny children running around smashing plates in the kitchen.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
back on the boat, Vian's like, okay, Harry, Harry, Harry, talk me through operations when we have to come up at lunch and clean up, because I need to make a list. And he's like, did Jason say it wasn't clean up here? And he's like, no, Lara did. So he's like, okay, well, shouldn't this be his job to know how to do this?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Yeah, so then Johnny is back doing the photo shoot now. He's taking over camera duties. And so it's really funny. And then we cut back to Vian, and he's like, oh, by the way, I'm really struggling to look Adair in the eyes even. And Harry's like, why? Why would you look her in the eye? None of us do that. It's awkward. It's extremely awkward. Has she told you the thing about meters yet?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Well, because they say, do you have a boyfriend? Harry's like, did I get the word boyfriend? He's just like all of a sudden kind of creeping around. And so they ask him how old he is and he's like, how old do you reckon? They're like, reckon. And they guess it's 25 and he's from Australia. So one of them is like, so Brie, have you ever been to Australia? She goes, no.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
And they're like, so Harry, are you going to invite Brie to Australia? And he's like, maybe. And Brie's like, oh. Maybe? Maybe? Are you fucking serious right now? My first long-term boyfriend was very self-centered and not the best communicator, and I just never thought Harry would be the kind of person to blame mind games. But he is. Who else would say maybe?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
They show her walking around cleaning after this, and she just walks into the bathroom and goes, maybe? And she goes back to her bed and folds her sheets, like, maybe?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Yeah, but I can't tell if he likes her like that. You know, Shani's very hard to read. Yeah, people are nice to chefs, too. You know, they're going to get fed. I feel that, also, he probably finds it hard to read. It's just a vibe I get. Yeah. So let's start. We are below deck down under season three, episode five. This one is called Submergency. Which I was hoping for a submarine personally.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
And he's hedging his bets, too, because he's assuming that Laura is tattletailing on him, which she's not. So he's just like, just in case she comes to complain and says, I need to make lists, I'm going to tell him that making lists is totally my idea, right?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So then Lara's like, so Vion, can I get someone to help set the deck up? And he's like, okay. She goes, well, I'll be up there. So whenever someone's free, just come up there. And so he's like, okay, no problem. Okay, Adair, maybe we'll help, but you should take a break with Harry. She's like, okay.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So then, um, well, yeah, he's like, well, shouldn't I do the debt? Shouldn't I do the setup thing beforehand? And he's like, no, go take a shower, you know, go, go, go get into your blacks and find Laura. So Laura, we'll be with you in 15. No worries. And it's seven 34 and dinner's at eight. So she just rolls her eyes. Yeah.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
This is my art! Someone get that streamer taped, please. It's a wall of streamers. Except when we've run out, then we'll just leave giant gaps. It's art. Just go with it, all right?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So Adara sees her and she's like, oh, Johnny's changing to come up and help you. Okay. He's about a hundred meters away, whatever the fuck that means. And it's like, well, we're done now, but thanks. Okay. And, uh, so she radios Johnny that they're set up. So then, um, Serena in the kitchen, in the galley is like, um, you know, you really didn't need that, but you were asking for it.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Johnny goes, sorry. And she's like, I'm talking to the sauce.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So Brie's like, Vion has a crush on Adair, but I think he's, like, just a flirt, you know, and maybe he likes attention. I don't know. And, you know, he wants to be wanted in 10 different directions, and he has...
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
so now it's dinner time and like oh my god streamers wow this really does remind me of setting up in sorority with five dollar budgets this is something yeah takes us all the way back so um zarina's talking about how
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
I had to like research it. I had to like, look it up, you know, I was like, is this how they're supposed to be served? Cause when I saw those, I was like, oh no, those are practically living. You can't serve those. Those aren't just rare. Those are like not cooked at all. So I was confused. I noticed she got the sear on them because Jason complained last time that there was no sear.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
I need some good old clear and present danger moments. We could use that in today's world where nothing's dangerous at all.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So she got the sear on and then it looked like she was putting them into the oven, but they came out purple. You should, they shouldn't be purple. And I looked it up and yeah, it is served a lot. more raw looking than regular beef is, but not that much. I mean, yikes.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
that's like sear on the outside and then just see how red it is in the middle that could be really really um upsetting to people so yeah i mean i get it ignorant on the wagyu front but uh i was like oh no don't serve that you know and then i thought i was like better once i googled it but and also when i googled it it's it's usually thin uh served sliced right
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
But I can't tell if that's the way these are supposed to be served to eat. I mean, a lot of it is just raw. It's like before it's cooked. I don't mean pre-cooked. I mean pre-cooking. I don't know. I can't tell. So the jury's out on this one. I have no idea. But my first thought was too rare.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So then, let's see. So now the guys have been sent down to help with cabins. This is another thing I'll say. The deckhands are being asked to do a lot, which... You know, not to defend Vihan here, but she does ask a lot of the deck crew. Now, granted, they don't really do it like as we just saw with the preparation for dinner. But do we usually see the deckhands help this much with interior?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
I think that they needed to help out.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Uh, yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm down. So the guys are supposed to be cleaning the dirt, but Vion's feet hurt. So he's like, oh my God, my feet are so sore. So he sits down in the main salon and, uh, he's like, come on guys, take a load off. So they're all just kind of sitting on the couches while he rubs his sandy feet.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
And, uh, Lara sees them and she's like, um, do you guys want to chill downstairs and not in the guest area? And he's like, .
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
And Brie's like, maybe. I don't know what you're talking about. Sorry, I'm stalling my own head. So Vianne's like, okay, well, you know, the problem is when I go down there and sit down there, then I need to wash up or like I need to go clean cabins or something like that. So I don't want to sit down there. Yeah, it's called doing your fucking job, brah.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So, yeah, the real villain on this season, we've been waiting for like a true villain to emerge. And it's been here the whole time. It's those fucking stairs. OK, yeah. The biggest shit stir on any season. Those stairs.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
I don't know. I think even if there is AC, you probably just need air. It's just humid. It's very thick air. So she's mad because Vian is setting a bad example for his team. And if he was really a team player, he should be offering to help in cabins and help run plates. And she's like, I mean, should I offer him a cocktail? So then the next course is served, which is surf and turf, which is this
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Wagyu beef. So immediately a couple of the ladies are like, yeah, I'm going to need this more done. Like, this is crazy. Please send this back. So then it's three. And then I think it's all of them that end up getting sent back, right?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Well, I like that she, you know, she's like, I'm going to fight against this heartbreak by teasing my hair. So she gets her hair really high somehow. And then that's like her revenge. She's like, I'm going to get in a black nightie and make my hair really big. And everybody's going to know what the fuck they're dealing with today. I was like, all right, I'm into it. I'm from Texas.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
I mean, unluckily, right. Because all the plates are sent back. So that's not a great look, but luckily he does no wagyu. So he's eating it and he's like, oh no. I mean, you couldn't have cooked that anymore. You know, she goes, yeah, because it's wagyu. Thank you for getting me. Thank you.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So they serve it. They love it. The guests love it. And now it's bedtime. And so we get a Brie and Harry getting to know themselves, getting to know each other moment. So Brie's like, oh my God, they're not big soda drinkers. I mean, the last charter drank so many sodas. And he's like, soda water. And she's like, no, like Coke. I love Diet Coke. That's me opening up.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Yeah, because you said earlier, maybe, when they said, are you going to take her to Australia? You said, maybe. I mean, thanks a lot. Maybe. And he's like, is that what I said? She goes, maybe. Yeah, that's what you said. Maybe. Well, guess what? Maybe I'll bring you to New Jersey to taste our version of Diet Coke.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So now Vian goes to offer some help to Serena again, and she's going to bed. And then Marina's like, so Serena, I'm having a little bit of cake. Is that okay? She goes, go ahead. She's like, rumors are that Vian used to strip.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
And then we see the flashback of Vian telling the boys that he wasn't a stripper, but he did work at a place called Beefcakes, which was a gay bar, which is like stripping, except you just stand there in your jockstrap and kind of do a toe touch.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So I'm into a good passive aggressive hair tease. Yeah.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Marina's passive aggression is so funny. She's like, do you mind if I eat some cake? I was like, damn, she's doing it. She sounds so villainous. And then Serena tells us, oh honey, I don't have to fight for a man. I have trails of candy, fight it. And Marina just goes, oh, is this truffled? It's very strong. It's like, oh, no. I would never want to make out.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So now the next day, Serena sees Vihan and she's like, did you sleep well? And he's like, yeah, I feel good. It's weird because I slept on a sheet of Snickers. There were Snickers all over my mattress. He's like, it feels great, doesn't it? Doesn't it feel good to be loved? Well, I was shattered last night, you know, so I might see a masseuse come to the boat later.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
And he's like, well, I'm a good masseuse. And she goes, well, I'd rather not get in a fight with a certain Brazilian person who doesn't understand truffles.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Oh, come on, shut up. He says he likes it. She asked him out for a drink because, you know, he basically wants like a French bread pizza from Weight Watchers. Just low effort. Okay. It's like, I don't care. It's easier to just microwave this shit. I'm getting it. And so then we cut to, but he's like, but it's not like she's my girlfriend or anything, you know?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
And so then Marina is talking about him to Laura and she's like, You know, yesterday I had my hair put some perfume, blah, blah, blah. And I come out and Vian passed me and he didn't even look in my eyes. And I'm like, okay, fine, man. And Laura's like, oh my God, I think they're like gods.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So Vian's like, why is it like this? And she's like, well, she's leaning weird. That's for sure. And he goes, yeah, just drop it. She's like, okay, well cable up. I'm going to lower it. And Johnny's like, should we bring that jet ski down? And she's like, yeah, I'm worried. I mean, that thing is leaking like a horse after a long trip. I mean, come on.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
What if they hit something out there or the one with the short hair can't swim?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
which listen if you can't swim don't go on things in the middle of the ocean don't go on water toys and i'm not shaming people for not knowing how to swim i'm shaming people for not knowing how to swim and then going into the middle of the water don't do that yeah yeah it's like i can't ski so i'm not gonna like just grab on to someone who can ski and then just like go down a slope with them it's like i just this there will be no skiing for me that's
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Gary, I can't swim. And I went on one of those excursion things on a cruise one time where we were like snorkel or whatever. And look at that. First of all, there was no underwater creatures. I don't know where the hell they all were. They probably saw me above them. And they're like, this is what it looks like when a rondel comes to eat you. So they ran away.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
I never saw them, but that water was rough. I could not swim. I was like, I'm going to die here. I'm going to die here in very shallow waters with my mom looking on in the smirk on her face. Like I paid for the swim lessons, you idiot. But I didn't die, but I'm still scared of going back out there. That shit's strong.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So in other words, yeah, don't go in the middle of the ocean if you don't know how to swim.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
I mean, if it starts leaking, it means you're doing your job. That's how we said it at Beefcakes. Like, wait a minute. So I don't think it's supposed to be filled on the inside of the jet ski. He goes, yes, that's why there's valves. You let the water drain. I'm not too concerned about it. And so they're like, okay, so now it's jet ski time. And Johnny takes India.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
She's the girl with the short hair on a jet ski. And then it starts toppling over and they fall in the water and she's out.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Yeah, just give us some warning before we make fun of these people every week. Yeah. All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being with us. We will be back with tons of stuff this week. If you want Traders Recaps or videos, come over to our Patreon and get live show tickets over at WatchWhatCrappens.com. And we'll talk to you next time.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Well, it's also below deck. So different casts start clashing in my mind, you know? But yeah, Brie's like, I like fancy him. We had ice cream. My family likes ice cream. And so Laura's like, did you kiss him again? She's like, of course. I really like him. I think he's just such a gentleman. So she's very excited. But guess what? Marina asked Leon out. to date at the pool bar. Dun, dun, dun.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So then we cut to them coming in and Serena's just sitting there. She's just heard this news with everybody else and she's not happy. So it was pre-tease. And Marina is like, oh, are you guys having a pajama party? And they're asking her about her date. And she's like, oh, it was so nice. He's such a nice guy. Like so interesting. Which I don't know that I'd give that to Vian. I mean, hot. No.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on your bravs. I'm Ronnie. Hi, Ben, you handsome little man. How's everything going over there? Hi, everything's great over here. How's everything going with you? Guess what? We're on tour, everybody. We are going to be going out next week. Here's our dates for March. Are you ready?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
hot, oily, but interesting? What's he done that's interesting?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Yeah, this is Serena's crazy hair. And Serena's like, I don't even know who I am right now. Well, I guess now that I'm looking at these notes, so she had this hairstyle before she found out all this and got upset. Or did she find, oh no, she found out. Yeah, she kind of did it. No, she found out. She went to the bathroom and was like, that fucking backstabbing bitch.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So it's like when Sandy, I'm sorry to bring it to a grease reference, you guys, I know that's really old school, but it's like, wow, I'm going to become like bitchy Sandy now. And she's like, I've got leather pants and big hair.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Yeah, Laura's just looking at him like, oh, really? And he's like, don't look at me like that. And she's like, did you have a good date? He says, honestly, she's very interesting, which is what boring people say about each other, I guess, to just justify. Just say... You're hot, I want to fuck you. And you're hot, I want to fuck you. You don't have to come up with reasons for the rest of us.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Neither one of us believe your she's interesting or he's interesting claims. Nobody believes it. Okay?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
He's really into similar hair coloring. I'm telling you, there's something about him and hair coloring attraction. Like he just really likes it. So Vianne's like, oh, she's just so beautiful. And Harry says, well, I mean, she's just very much like, go with the flow, isn't she? I mean, I don't really think she's even reading into any of this. Does she even know where she is?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
The other day I saw her spreading mud on the ground. I was like, oh, she's from a mud boat.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
I'm into somebody whose name doesn't easily rhyme with somebody else's name.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So Harry's now asking Marina, cause you know, Harry's sloppy. So he goes right to Marina and he's like, have a last night, I've asked you. And she's like, really nice, very interesting. And he's like, you were there for ages. I was asleep when he came in. And now everybody's good morning each other. And Harry is still so excited, not to just find somebody that he liked, but specifically,
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
We're going to Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, and Philadelphia. Followed by that, we'll be in Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, and Las Vegas. Please check out watchwhatcrappens.com. for links to tickets and all that good stuff. You'll also find links to our Patreon, which is where you'll find these videos that we're making right now.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
And I feel like model, like it's something to be like, oh, I dated a model, you know, which I think is what he's going for here. But it's different once you like settle down with a model because, you know, there's a shelf life on modeling. Okay. We're not all Cindy Crawford.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
And at some point there's a shelf life. And at some point you have to be like, so any skills, any skills of note?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Oh yeah, he's Australian now because they say, are you going to take her to Australia? And he says, maybe, yeah. I don't know why I thought for a second.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So his clothes are shrinking. He's complaining to Lara that his clothes are shrinking or he's getting taller. And he's like, I'm not getting taller, I reckon. So now they're cleaning and prepping for the charter and stuff. And Vihan has decided that he's in love with Adair now. So he's like, he, he, he, is everything good here? And she's like, yeah, this hot to have him kiss my rusty dusty.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
And she's like, well, I mean, you know, I don't think it's his fault at all. Is it? I mean, I feel like it's girl code, you know, it's just girl code. So fucking far out the window. Okay. You don't get to just claim somebody and making out and a truth or dare is not real making out. You know what I mean?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Like you can't claim somebody after a truth or dare make out that could have been to anybody, you know? And so Laura lets us know some Serena history, some Serena lore. She's like, Yeah, to me, Serena is just trying to find a gentle way. Desperate, completely desperate. You know, on the last boat that we worked at, she liked a chunky person.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
We're doing video recaps every day so you can watch instead, if you feel it, over there. Or if you'd prefer, you can listen to bonus episodes. We're doing Traders right now on Peacock, a Traders recap. So that's always a really good time. And I think that's all I have to say to start off. How about you? Anything on your end, Ben?
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
And so she just left a trail of candy from his cabin into her cabin. And the poor man didn't even know what hit him until mid-binge. And can you imagine having sex with somebody slobbering peanut M&Ms all over your face? The poor man didn't see what was coming.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
Unfortunately, in this version, they cook Hansel and Gretel, and then they're sent back for being too rare. So, you know, it's just Serena's lot in life.
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#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders
So she's like, she's hungry. So be careful, any man that Serena likes, because you will be stalked, basically. So now it's time for a preference sheet meeting. Here we are, Charter 3. It's a boat owner herself, Asha's experience, expecting exquisite dining experiences, because get this, she's a mermaid.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
hanky was named after a swan i would be okay with that but like if the name is already like a human name like why is that like why is the horse part of it the essential part i don't understand that and who named a horse lara what a weird name for a horse lara do horses not get cute names they do right because we've seen horse racing like you said sea biscuit and they're always like kleenex in your memaw's purse yeah yeah
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And coming around the band.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
1-800-CARS-FOR-KIDS coming around the corner there.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Horses do, in fact, have exposed body parts. And they're enormous. Gigantic vagina! Gigantic exposed vagina coming around. It's time for a commercial.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
That's where you can see us right now. And if you don't want to pay for Patreon, you can still get videos a week after they're released over on our YouTube channel. How about you, Ben?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Okay, so Serena is talking while we see this, you know, while we see Lara come on board. And Serena's like, oh, my God. Yeah, I can't wait to put this little suit to work. But, you know, thank God he's British because British humor is dark. It's sarcastic. It's mean as fuck. This could be really awesome. There's no boundaries in British humor.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I hope you're ready for that to come bite you in the ass because he can use the same thing. And you've already said it in your monologue. He can be like, I wasn't disrespecting you. It was British humor, darling.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah. The Lisa Vanderpump of it all. So Laura sees the stairs and she's like, fuck this. She's like, oh, my God, this is going to be an odd man. And so she goes to meet Jason and stuff. And I like that she wasn't overly friendly. I really like that this chick is just icy up front. Yeah. She's like, listen, I've been on enough boats to know you're all going to hate me. Okay.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And I already hate you. I don't care how many ads you've done without your shirt on. All right. You piece of shit. Is that fish a prisoner? Clean that fish tank.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Oh, she'll be broken like they broke Seabiscuit soon. Yeah. Don't you worry.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
This is below deck. No one leaves here crying. You know what I mean? And we've had a long line recently, you know, post Kate and Hannah, we've had a long line of stews really trying to be liked. And so it's nice that there's someone who maybe she wants to be liked, but it's not going to happen.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah. So she tells us that she's been in the industry for 13 years and she's like, growing up, my dad was an airline pilot. Unfortunately, he just wanted to be on ground because he was addicted to gambling. And so he named me after one of his horses, Laura Mora Nickel and Dime.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And, you know, it was kind of rough having a father who would run around right behind me just saying, faster, faster, you can do it faster. I was the first girl who ran into school, tripped on the stairs and broke my teeth. I'll never forgive my father.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And, you know, this is a callback to one of our favorite chief stews of all time who didn't get the chance to live. I mean, she's still alive. She has a baby and stuff. But, I mean, on the show. That is Faye. That is Faye.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And I saw because we follow Faye, you know, because we love Faye. And I saw her post something the other day because, you know, she does have a baby and she went back to being brunette. She's doing a lot of things I don't approve of in her real life is what I'm saying. Yeah. But she did have a post of something like, who wants me back on below deck already? Like, isn't it time?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And I was like, I love that you're ready to just drop the baby, pull out the parasite and get here. You know, like Alita Adams saying, I don't care how you get here.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Okay. So love you. Bye.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Oh, yeah. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I'm not going to make that choice. But I definitely want to see her on. And I would like to see her get a chance at the big leagues.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
No, there's a girl who... Oh, my God. She was originally from Down Under. And now she's... Yeah, Toomey. There's Toomey. Toomey kind of fucked it up in her last... Yeah, she got replaced by Aisha. So, yeah. I wouldn't say... Yeah. Oh, she did get replaced by Aisha? Yeah, yeah. Because, well, meaning that, like... They're all confused in my mind.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
But did they even edit Below Deck Sailing? Because Gary was still a main part of that whole season. I don't even think they re-edited. I just thought they were doing the old, give it time, people will be less mad.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Who knows? So Serena sees Lara and they're hugging and she goes, oh my God, look at you.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Oh, yeah. I've known people with elevators in their homes, and they're just a nightmare. I don't know how anybody has an elevator. That shit breaks. That shit breaks, okay? You remember when we were in that town, and there was that lady... Sherry, what's your buns? That was our pictures and all the elevators. And they were like the elevator commissioner, Sherry Berry. And we were making fun of it.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And she's like, I'm hot and sweaty. It's disgusting. She goes, well, I have a sweat mustache all the time. I smell. What else is new? Honestly, Serena.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I need to smooth something down to feel a little bit better. That's my face, darling. That's my face. I know. Listen, I love an impossible challenge. Or is there a hot person here?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
If there was ever a face that actually was the sound of a sigh, it was that face. I mean, it was just one long, she just stared at her, but it was just one long, um,
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah, and she's like, remember last time I had a room alone and there was the other fun cabin? But how about this time we're the fun cabin? You and me, fun cabin! And Laura's just like, oh, fuck off. So then we meet Weon. I forget how he said his name. I feel like it was like a sound like beyond. Listen, we don't know anybody's names or accents or remember their faces for at least four episodes.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So I hope people aren't coming in too picky right now. But he arrives and I mean, it's, you know, it's a nice name because it's unique, but I feel bad for him because it's very similar to the flu. And that's rough. She was named after a horse. He's named after a flu. I mean, the fun just never ends this season. Is he the Vian of the avian?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
That's nice. And he's from Paul, South Africa, which is P-A-A-R-L. And I just like to think of Pearl from 227. Mary, you better get up. Yes, Lester is waiting for you to have some dinner, Mary. He's 31 years old, and he's worked as a shirtless server at a bar named Beefcakes. So hot piece of ass coming through, ladies and gentlemen.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Well, now I see why I need an elevator commissioner. What a pain in the ass elevators get better.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
If she's a good person, why are you calling her Vegemite?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
This woman's a monster. There, I said it.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And then Zarina, you know, her take is... I want a room with Laura because I know Laura's a cool girl, you know? I've never been cool, you know? Well, now I'm a bit of a weirdo, you know? So we did clash heads a little bit at work, but we've always said we're much better as an off-boat friendship, but we've matured.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I like when Serena shows Lara their room. And she's like, look, there's a third bed here. Isn't that exciting? And Lara's like, we could use that for shoes and bags.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I mean, it's ridiculous, actually. You know, I actually sometimes will use my shoes as a bag. You know, shoe laces, just put a little bit of lipstick in there. What more do you need in life, really? Come on. Lara's just like, please die.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And Jennifer Tilly owns it probably. So, yeah, they meet that guy. He's kind of boring. But you know what? There's a reason guys at Beefcakes never talk. Okay. They're not there for their conversation. They're there for their butts.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
That's right. Yeah. So then we meet Adair, who is a deck stew, and she's from Beaufort, Georgia, and she's 24 years old, and she enjoys doing fireball shots with her 97-year-old neighbor.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Because they're bringing people on that you want to throw a match at.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
That was my reaction, too. I was like, so you went? Yeah.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Maybe it's just a creepy white van. The man had ice cream. I'm getting in. Okay. Risk it. Whoever risk it wins the biscuit. Know what I'm saying? But also, this girl's so confusing because she's like, I love boating. I've been a muck scraper, a dog, whatever. She started listing all these boat drives. But then they kept showing her on four wheelers dressed like Lara Croft. So I was really confused.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
That's who the horse was named after. No, Lara Croft was also named after a horse. And then a horse was named after Lara Croft. It's just an endless cycle. So Serena's like, I need to look professional for my sous chef. I'm getting a sous chef. I can't wait. And Lara's like, well, I'm looking out for my stew. Brianna, OMG. From 2016 to now, she's a model. Look at her. A model from 2016.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
New York Fashion Week, British Vogue. Can't wait to call her an old lady because really, 2016. Someone's a little bit long in the tooth. Do you really need it? Is everything going to be a horse reference with you? I mean, let it go already.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So she was like a teenage model, I guess.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah, there's a lot of staircase drama that's going to be happening. Staircases suck. I just think we're in the future now. We need better things. Like we need better ways to get upstairs, preferably being pulled up them somehow. We need better elevators. Also this, and why are we still plugging things in everywhere? Like, plugging all your phones, all your everything in. I just hate cords, okay?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
God, I'd love child labor. Mm-hmm. But also, I mean, I started modeling way younger than that. I think I was nine when I modeled the Husky line at Dillard's. So watch out, Bri.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
But that is a pretty weird pizza because what it tells me is that he has no personality. And so he's struggling for identity. And he's like, oh, my God, Gorgonzola on a pizza. That's crazy. I'm going to say that's my favorite. I mean, Gorgonzola, prosciutto and olives, all very strong flavors. Surely people will think I'm interesting. Yeah.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
But we do know that she was into Gorgonzola ballet. So hopefully she'll have a little romance coming with the sous chef. Also, I think they're setting this whole thing up like she's really a ballet person and then she's going to fall down the stairs. That's my prediction. She's going to be like, my ballet life is ruined or my ballet life is ruined. How could they do this to me?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So Laura's impressed with Marina's experience. And then we get our little goofball. Why do I feel like I've seen him cry multiple times?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah, and how about you talk less with your mouth and more with your mop? Okay? Because this is your workspace. So if you find it dirty, start cleaning. Okay, Anthony? And he's telling us, oh, well, I've done my junior year's period, and I'm ready to step it up. I was lucky enough to work with Michelin star chef for my last restaurant. I just learned so much. Or my last yacht.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I just learned so much. He was so talented, so passionate. I had a penis and we did everything together. And I feel like I'm on the periphery of becoming the head chef. All I need to do is take out one big boss. Weird Barbie it is.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah. And so we get a stew meeting in the main salon and then the deck team, wherever they are, they're closed off deck. And then we get Johnny, the deckhand, hanging out with Adair. And his bio says that he's from Athens, Greece, and he's 24 years old. And he lives by the motto, a clear sky fears no thunderstorm. Yeah. That makes no sense. That's stupid. That's literally stupid.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Figure out a way that we don't need to do that anymore. Electricity. And also, they designed this boat without outdoor passageways. Like, there's no decks that go around the boat.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Why would the sky fear a thunderstorm anyway? It's like someone moving in for a little while. You know who fears thunderstorms? The people on the ground, okay? Who cares what the sky thinks about it?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah, so this guy is like a dumb person who's trying to seem smart. And I know we're going to get emails like that's like a famous saying from Plato. I don't care. OK, that was a different time. We've learned more. We have electrical cords now and elevators. So tell Plato to suck it.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
But also, Johnny's the one that we've seen in the previews having anger fits and having like a severe temper tantrum and problem. So I think he gets fired soon. So we already know he's he's angry.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
You don't get to just skip that. Like, I get to fake it till you make it. But bam. Yeah.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah. And then, um, they're talking to a dare now. And she's like, I've been in y'all in a little over a year, mug racking my right. And, uh, Harry's saying four or five years. And we haunt Vian Vian Vian is like, uh, You know, listen, I've been on catamarans, monohulls, motor yachts, super yachts, mega yachts, dicks. A lot of dicks. I used to work at a place called Beefcakes.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
You know, it was just a little trip. But otherwise, now I'm a captain of a catamaran.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
No one wants to hang out with you. Okay. You can be the best at everything, but people have to want to work with you. Okay. And nobody is going to want to work with you.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So now they're looking for cabins, and they're meeting the interior, and everyone's like, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. And Anthony the Sioux meets Jason. He's like, great to have you on board. Hopefully you can help put out some great food. I do have new fish in my prison tank, and I would appreciate you feeding them every once in a while. And Serena goes, yeah, and now we've got a dishwasher.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Just look at him. And Anthony goes, as if.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah, because she's, you know, and she's going in and she's, I think in my memory, she's like sitting crisscross applesauce on top of the counter, just like kind of a pen in her mouth. Like, all right, let's get this started, you know. She's like, what are your weaknesses? What are your strengths? And he's like, weaknesses? I mean, that's really a tough question on the spot. She goes...
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Well, but that's why we do it, right? Weaknesses, what are they? And so your whole job is on the spot. So go ahead. And he's like, well, I mean, describing weaknesses, I'm not really, I don't like that. Okay, then how about your strengths? Let's describe your strengths. Have you ever fit a lipstick into a shoe and taken it out to a club? That's one of my strengths. You go now. It's easy, see?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And she's like, really? And he says, well, what's with the interview process here? And she's like, oh, interview. I don't know anything about you. I want to know who I'm working with. And, you know, I want to go through, know your weaknesses, your strengths, stuff like that. How hard do you hug? Do you carry tissues on you in case I'm crying? You know, these are important things to know.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I think so. And plus the stairs.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And he's like, well, I mean, I guess we'll soon find out. Oh, hell no. So she does say, she's like, I don't do egos. And if it ever happens, it's like, get out. You know what I'm saying? And I want you to understand, I'm not interrogating you, all right? I'm just trying to figure out how to work together. Okay, so here's what you're going to do. Clean, clean, clean.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And then when you make crew food, I would like you to make salads, fresh fish. And then, you know, for breakfast, just something easy. Grab and go, okay? Now, would you like to maybe do guest food at some point? And he's like, 100%, because normally when I'm with, you know, The chefs that treat me with respect, I do. I work with them, you know, not for them, basically. And she's like, oh, how fun.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah. And he's just like trying to put it out there. I like that she was like, so is your goal to eventually like help me with guest food? And then he's just like, well, I normally work hand in hand with the chef. It's like, no, sorry. Earn it. Okay. Earn it, sir. So he tells us, I didn't fly here for another interview.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I haven't been interrogated like this since I was in secondary school by my headmaster. Okay, he's got a dark past. Because first of all, his CV doesn't match what he's saying. And then when he's asked any kind of weaknesses, he can't answer. I don't believe you, sir. I don't believe you.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
He's a little shit head too, you know, although he's not completely wrong either.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Normally a sous chef does your chopping. Like if you're, you know, you teach them the cuts that you want. And you show him how to do the prep work. Usually a sous chef is doing your prep work. And then you teach them to do everything. And eventually they know how to do everything. And you get to kind of oversee while they do a lot of the stuff, right? If you need a night off or whatever.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
But usually they are prepping and cooking with you. They're not your dish person. That's a separate person. In this situation, there is no dish person. So I can see why she would need that. Right. You know, he's right to be annoyed if he's only going to be doing dishes and stuff this whole time.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
But she is also giving him an out and he's not an out, but she's giving him like, do you want to eventually do this? And like, how can I help you move up in the world? And he's being a huge asshole to her. So then we go to Jason and he has the crew meeting and he's like, welcome to Katina. And he introduces the first officer and engineers who we don't even see.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
They don't even give him a shot this time. No, they do.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Well, Jason does his whole spiel of like, oh, I like to look at this like we have one big family environment. We're brothers. We're sisters. Oh, shut up. I hate that. We're brothers. You know what I used to do to my sister? I used to pull out her eyelashes.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Oh, weevils and maggots. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's a pretty crazy one to start. Now, all the ads leading up to this have been Captain Jason coming out of the water in a wet shirt and like how sexy Captain Jason is and stuff. You know, I think the guy is sexy, but give the man a break. You know?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Then I would put her – I had this toy box that was shaped like a football, and I would put her in it, and then I would roll it down the stairs.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I do not want anybody to treat me like I treated my sister. I was a monster, you know?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I don't remember doing it. These are just stories my parents tell. Or like when my mom would be feeding my sister probably wine, like let's face it. I would just stand in front of her and then whip out my wiener and pee all over the carpet. Like I was a very, very awful child. So I just – I don't know. We didn't all have the same – growing up experience.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So I suggest that we stop saying let's be like a family. You know what I mean? No one wants a wine bottle thrown at their head on Christmas Eve.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So respect each other. I mean, look, I do everything. I run plates. I strip Mr. Beefcakes. You'll see me do crew messes. You'll probably be crew messes. You'll see me handling my own laundry. And I expect you to do that as well. All right. And they're all just looking at him like, no, I'm not doing my laundry.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So then the bosun's like, all right, you know, now we just need to get the boat clean. That's the first thing we need to do. And Johnny's like, for people here, I think it's too much. Do you want to split? Because I can go start on ball. And he's like, okay, well, there's not going to be any guests on right now. I don't think we need to focus on that. He's like, nope, just a ball.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Just be ready because of experience. Maybe I can go forward alone. So you can help with guidance. That's my thought. Excuse you, sir. You are not the boss of me, sir.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Keep your hands off the merchandise, ladies.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah, the laundry and the housework. So she's like, you know, I'll get you girls to jump in guest cabins and just give it a really good dust vac and a really good wipe down. And by wipe down, I mean iron everything. Like, okay. So then Marina, which one's Marina? Marina is the Brazilian. Oh, the Brazilian girl. Yeah, yeah.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
She's like, we're quite bossy, and we know that we don't have a lot of time under the spotlight. So I know that if I have one second to shine and be heard, I'll make it count. It's like, oh, Jesus Christ, this girl's going to be singing with the dish towels.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I was like, oh, yeah, I guess we'll have to talk about that. So then Serena finds a surprise in the kitchen. It's weevils and maggots because whoever worked there last never cleaned the food out. Don't they have a cleaning crew come in between there to say like, hey, guys, there's a bunch of fish in the freezer or in the refrigerator?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah. So Serena's disgusted and she's got to bleach everything because super yacht standards means that charter guests won't have a little bug in the pasta salad. All right. Unless it's on purpose. You know, some bugs are very cute and edible. And so she tells Jason and he's like, oh, fuck it. Now we got to clean everything. So they start their full clean of the kitchen.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And we're all going to have them inside of us when we die. Yay! So then we do the preference sheet meeting. And Jason tells us who the primary is. It's Mark. He's an investor from Brisbane, Australia. And he's bringing along his partner, Megan. some of his closest friends, and anal beads. He loves his steak and he loves his meat. Well done. And he also tells his girlfriend to wash her ass.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So he's obviously vegan. And, you know, you've done vegan before, right? She's like, I've done vegan anal beads, actually. So I think it's going to be a good one for me.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Well, now you know I don't know anything about geography. Okay. So I was like, Africa? Indian Ocean? Wait a minute. Seychelles. Yeah, but I barely know the valley where I live. So I can't really. I'm like, where am I here again? Like, seriously? I mean, so I don't know that I should be expected to know any of this stuff. But even I was like, wait a second. I don't think any of this is true.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And then he just laughs. I like that she took him seriously. Like, I can't wait to see what you do for 190 countries, stupid. And so now it's time to turn the boat over And Brianna is asking to get run through turndowns and stuff. And so Marina teaches her, you know, chocolate on the pillow, lights blind pillows. And Brianna is saying, like, I'm here to work hard and always happy to learn.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
But admittedly, I'm a Four Seasons girl. And that's my dad's fault. Because my dad's a lawyer in New Jersey. And I'm an only child. So I'm his princess. So sorry, guys. You're going to have to compete with my dad. Hee hee.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Your dad has no problem with you being a maid. You know what? You're looking too far up your father's bunghole. OK, your father hates you.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So Marina's like, okay, we've got all the sheets done. Now we're doing duvets and pillows. And Laura's like, oh, amazing. Okay, well, this needs to go higher. It needs to be aligned with the table side and get rid of the creases. These creases, disgusting. I'm in sheets with creases. No, no, no. All right, surfaces, everybody, surfaces. It's a long day. Thank you so much for your hard work.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Please get the wrinkles out of the duvet.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So, um, everything starts tomorrow and it's in chaos, you know, and this is Anthony, the sous chef. And he's like, I've worked, I mean, every, every boat I've worked on, the galley is absolutely spotless. So yeah, I'm a little bit like, what have I got myself in for? Well, you've got yourself into cleaning a galley. So I hope you're used to that.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
He must, because smaller boats don't have sous chefs, right? So he must be used to working on like a giant boat where he's, there are a lot of sous chefs and people to clean and stuff like that. So yeah, he's rude awakening.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So Jason likes Vian and he's like, he's got a good CV. And what I want out of my Boston is someone thinking exactly what I'm thinking. Vian, what am I thinking? Hot dogs, Cracker Jacks, fishing a boat. That's right. Taking my new children to a baseball game. God, you're good. You're very good.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Well, that's in a prison tank like he has. I think he means like in regular water, how the fish all turn at the same time or whatever. How do they do that? That's so amazing. I don't know. They're crazy. Like starlings, you know, those birds that fly all together in shapes and stuff.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
You know, they're like, oh my God, look at the shapes we can make. I'm like, can we just have fucking lunch?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
No one's like, be a tuna. You know what I mean? No one ever is like, I think here's what I want for my team. I want us all to be like tuna.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
sorry i didn't i didn't mean to patronize you by the way you know what a fish is right have you ever seen a fish okay so it's this protein it's like meat that's in the sea we're gonna make that he clearly hates her and she can read it and she's like listen i didn't mean to patronize you i'm just guiding you because i'm jedi master and he's like die please die and he's like god she's already micromanaging just let the man cook it's gonna be a real fun season
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
She doesn't know how you cook. OK, your CV doesn't even make any sense. It's a lie. There's lies on your CV. So I think she needs just shut up. I mean, that's your job. No chef is supposed to be nice. I don't understand this whole thing where you're coming in and expecting your chef to kiss your ass. Like that really shows inexperience on your part.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah. So then the crew has lunch and then we see a bio for the primary guest, Mark and Megan. They're from Brisbane, Australia. Mark is an investor in property development and Megan is a model and actress and farts sometimes without even knowing it. They've been dating for eight months.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I don't want to do that either. No fucking blini. What have I done to you that you're serving me a fucking cucumber? Gross.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah. So, um, then now lines and all that, and Laura's bringing up caviar and then, um, she has to bring it up on like a, on like a bicycle, this big metal bicycle thing.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So Brianna has to call Lara, and Lara's like, I'm a little busy here going through flights. She's like, listen, I'm a little busy too because I have found something I'm not really sure what to do while unpacking their luggage, and it's the anal beads. And Lara's like, oh, is that the only sex toy? God, is there anything massage-y or something in there? She goes, no, there's more.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
She's like, well, maybe just put that in the side table, all right? Just put that in the side table next to something that says, Because don't they put it next to nausea medication or something? Yeah, it's next to a packet that says nausea relief and then like anal beads. I like that she featured that one. She's like, are there more sex toys? Okay, only feature the anal beads.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Put that in the side table.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
But this is kind of an important part just because she's like, do you have bowls? Do you have spoons? Do you need spoons for this? Do you need bowls for that? And she goes, well, this one's going to be very – she says – This dish. And she's like, okay, so I need a knife and fork for that. And she says, well, I mean, it's saucy as well. And so that's the big thing.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Because later it becomes like, I had no idea we'd need a spoon, crazy Bobby. She told you very clearly, ma'am. And she also says, you need to write this stuff down. And Laura's like, no, I don't need to write it down. Which...
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Because she's putting the big onion bhaji or whatever in the center. So she's only putting like a little bit of that soup down as the sauce for this big onion thing. So they also will need a knife and fork. But she's like, yeah, it's saucy, meaning also a spoon.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
She served two soups in a row, which was weird. Yeah. Yeah.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I love soup, but like it's weird. I don't. I feel like if you serve me two soups in a row, you're calling me fat, and I get very offended. I would love an evening of soups.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So Serena is like, well, the last boat I worked on with Lara, the captain did give her control over the boat, which was kind of annoying because she ran with it, you know, and she had to save my guest food, my crew food, and we're going to need a little bit more balance. It's not her way or the highway.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Well, he said, like, should I bring my radio? And he says, no, you can leave it here. So he's like, okay. And he goes all the way out and then he's stuck without a key all the way out there. And I love when this happens to the most arrogant people, you know?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah. And he's trying to whistle, but he can't really whistle. He's just like, no key, no key. So finally, Harry figures it out. They go get him. And Harry's like, I mean, Mr. Lee deckhand over here. Can't even check to see if the keys in the jet ski before he unties it.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah, I love Sally. Sally is like, let's just get some free shit and get some money for it. That's my kind of girl. It's a tongue twister. It's often used to practice pronunciation. There you go. Hey, you know what doesn't need a whole lot of work? The internet. Thank you, internet. Thank you for being better than stairs and elevators and non-rock around decks and cords and electric cords.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
All right. So Laura comes up and she's like, the first course is Italian. Yes, you've heard it. Out of 190 countries, we've chosen the most basic for service.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
italian everybody we've got gazpacho that's a bit different much like the dork who made it strawberry watermelon tarragon and gold sprinkles now if you're asking yourself is this a classy boat it is because there will be gold on everything today it's like okay a little gold's okay but i don't need to poop out a golden crappy award okay yeah that's a lot of gold she puts on on everything
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Who invented gazpacho? I'm just curious. I don't doubt you. Gazpacho. The exact origins from gazpacho are unknown, but it's generally believed to have originated in Andalusia, Spain. Guys, it could have also been from Rome, the Moors, and the New World. It could have been from anywhere. Gazpacho. You know why? Because they didn't have heat everywhere, so it's some cold fucking soup. Okay?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
That shit came out a long time ago.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Gazpacho. It's interesting reading here because gazpacho actually means we haven't invented microwaves yet, which is interesting. I didn't know.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So then meanwhile, Anthony in the kitchen is like, so do you need help plating? Because it's chaos. And she's like, no, it's just too many elements. But thank you so much for offering. And she just has to do everything by herself. And this is going to bite her in the ass. She's not using this guy. And I mean, I think the guy's an asshole. I hate his attitude.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
But yeah, she's not making the best music so far.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So then Lara is like, now we've gone to Inja. So you've got some anjin bhaji, the korma sauce, and avocado salsa. And guess what? Maybe no one important has told you this yet, but it's saucy.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And she was like, I mean, come on, you wrote it down, didn't you? And she goes, well, I mean, I wrote the simplest version down. I just, let me tell you what my notes say. Stupid, ugly Fez says stupid. Dumb, dumb hate her. Please don't make me room with this ugly bitch. So how am I supposed to know this, this spoons?
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So Serena forgives it or whatever. Let's just move on. So then we go to Harry talking to Brianna about her day. And she's like, I found some interesting things while packing some bags. And he's like, oh, what did they bring? Tell me. She's like, butt plugs. And he goes, oh, no. Do you have access to those still? You didn't lock them away, did you? Keep them in the night side table. All right.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So we keep things like that.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah, and he's like, I'm a sous chef, not a sous dish chef.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah, they're both suffering from things that it's typical for chefs to suffer from, which is bad communication. They both need to communicate a lot.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
better so then um it's the next morning and laura's like well last night wasn't great but if i gave up i wouldn't be where i am today and where i am is the golden sugar cube winner for 10 years in a row thanks to my father running me around the horse tracks I actually beat a pony last week. That was good.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Did anyone else just hear the Titanic theme playing? I was like, girl...
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And she can't have a radio. She doesn't have the radio working in the elevator. So people are barking orders and she can't hear them. And it's a huge mess. But I would like to point out that last night, Serena came up to talk to the chefs, to talk to the guests and said, so tomorrow breakfast is 830 good. And they all said 830 is great. So this fucker down there at 8 a.m.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
like, where's my breakfast? Shut up. You said 830. You agreed to 830. So don't act like you didn't hear it.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And she's like, well, but they just said, can we have these eggs? No, you have to go down and tell them, here's the special. Here's what everybody's getting. That's it. And then if they ask for something extra, then you do it. But you don't tell a bunch of starving people, all right, anything you want.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I think like if you have fish on land, that's cute. You know, it's like, look, I'm appreciating the ocean. But when you have fish on a boat, that's just that's like fish trafficking. Like you're holding those things prisoner. That's not cool, man. You're like, look at this whole world. You don't get to swim in because I've captured you.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So she's like, oh, God, this is what I was worried about with Laura. You come to the head chef and ask how you would like breakfast done. You don't just go up and do your own thing. I need it to be my way to get the flow going. And Anthony's like, do you want a hand? She goes, no, no, I'm fine. She's got spoons flying everywhere. Tofu eggs, regular eggs, cashew eggs, gold eggs.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappin'. It's a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye or Brav. I'm Ronnie, that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, how's it going? Good. I mean, I've been given a gift. A whole new boatload of dum-dums to make fun of on the internet. Oh, thank you, Lord. Like manna dropping from heaven. Welcome to the first Below Deck Down Under podcast.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah. So Serena's like, I'm just, it's okay. I'm just trying to avoid this, like the plague. And it's a little annoying right now. So Lara goes to her room and cries. So Anthony's like, you need to utilize me a bit more, I think. And she goes, yeah. And he goes, yeah.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I mean, I think if she saw him like going around picking up everything and like helping her stay organized and handing her what she needs before she needs it and like showing that he could be good at it, then she would trust him a little bit more. But instead, he's just standing there like, what a pigsty.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And so Serena's already breaking. She's like, oh, my God. First of all, I've got Barbie up there crying, causing me chaos. Now I've got this little sous chef twat. So I just need him to support me as a sous, which is position second to head chef. Dun, dun, dun. Yeah. Shit show. Yeah. It's a shit show. It's going to be a fun one. Wow. Usually the first episode, there's not this much going on.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah, it's going to be some good times. All right, everybody, thanks so much for being with us. If you want this on video, it's at... Patreon.com, along with our Traders Recaps. Also, go stream the Golden Crappies. It's available until February 14th. Find the link on our site, and we'll see you soon.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
This week, actually, Thursday and Friday, Salt Lake City and Denver, where we will be doing Salt Lake City and Southern Charm. Go find our other show dates at WatchWhatCrappens.com, and we will talk to you next time. Bye! Bye!
Watch What Crappens
#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
It's like that time I locked myself in the bathroom at my house. Yes. And I had to climb out the window into another person's apartment. You know, I could have been killed if that was in Texas.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Just stuck there with your poop. And also that tank didn't look very clean. I think he's probably watching those YouTube videos that I watched a long time ago where there was a really hot guy and he's like. I'm into all natural tanks. And I'm like, oh, my God, I love it. And like plantscapes and whatever you call those. And I got really into it until I killed all the fish when I changed the water.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And then I was traumatized. But anyway, I'm wondering if Captain Jason has found this hot guy. And he's like, well, there's a handsome lad. Maybe I'll try my hand at natural seascapes in a bowl. But whatever. It's not working. Okay. Some green ass water.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
That's Karen's ray from Real Housewives of Potomac. He's like, Bruce trying to find Miami.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
going to the golf course the big star of the show obviously you know what I'm going to say I'm sure the turtle I mean that turtle was so like look I'm just a turtle but by the end he was like you fucking morons you know he passed by with like a little cigarette like everyone here is stupid do I have to do everything myself I can't please the turtle is just dismayed by the staircase where I live you just swim up
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah. You want to complain about an elevator? Look at these things that I'm stuck with. It's like going all slowly.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
What are you complaining about? You're covered in stone. No one can get you.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And he gives her a hug, too. But it's not like an Aisha hug. He's like, well, hello, employee. Where with Aisha, it's like, oh, my God, I can't wait for you to put in my contacts. Let's, you know, do the koala hug or whatever. It's not that kind of thing. It's just more of like, why are you hugging me so tight? You know, which I felt kind of bad for her. She deserves a bigger hug.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
But you got to watch out with crazy people.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Well, I think they moved Aisha to the big leagues. You know, she's on main below deck. The biggest ratings get her. But I agree. I think she should be on this one, too, because I don't know. Maybe she should just be on all of them. But when she said this whole thing of, oh, my God, you're going to love her. We've worked together.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And that means in Housewives world, she is bringing this cast member on. She recommended this cast member. And now this cast member is going to betray her ass in the middle of the season. And she's going to cry about it. And they're going to have a fight that's thinly veiled of like, I got you this show. Now you're treating me like this.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Season three recap is what I meant to say. We're glad to be here below deck. Hi, welcome to the show, okay? We just did the Golden Crappie Awards in New York City. They are available on streaming until about February 14th, so go get your tickets, okay? Also, we're going to be in Salt Lake City and Denver this week. In Salt Lake City, we're going to be doing Salt Lake City.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah, because one of the most dramatic areas in a restaurant is the kitchen and it's all those relationships, you know, because the kitchen, the chef is generally abusive, you know, and then we have to watch how everybody deals with that abuse. You know, some people become like Stockholm syndrome where they're like, oh, my God, the chef's amazing.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And some people secretly want to murder the chef or dream about having his job. And so we never get to see that really on this show. So, yeah, I agree. It's great. And they got a really arrogant, young, semi-hot person who just knows that he should be this or he thinks in his mind that he should be the chef. And now he's having to deal with Zarina instead. And it's going to be good.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Well, there's, you know, there's sexism in the kitchen, but then there's also sexism on boats. I mean, Jesus Christ, just add government in there and you've got like the trifecta. I mean, if that sous chef would just run for mayor, we'll have a complete trifecta of a shit show.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah, that's not good. When you're looking at your sous chef... as your errand boy, you're going to be in fucking trouble because a sous chef is not the bar back. That's not their job.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And I also like that some bitchy queen added in the temperature when she arrives because it's like you're going to slow. They're like, we promise you we've picked a place that's going to slowly make these people go crazy.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Are you talking about the horse? who says that if that's even a fact don't say it my mom named me after a horse Jesus Christ
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
Yeah. Go back to the beginning of the cycle. For example, my name is Rondal and my mom's name is Rhonda. So a lot of people are like, oh, great. No wonder you're like your mom because she named you after her, but added an L. Well, actually, the truth is my grandfather was named Rondal, and he wanted a boy to name Rondal, but he had a girl instead.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
So they just took off the L. So she got shafted because her whole name means, like, we really wanted you to be a boy. Sorry, you're not good enough. And then my mom wanted a little girl, and she had a little boy. Oh, no. So she added the L back on. So it's like a whole cycle of disappointment in your birth. Yeah.
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#2715 Below Deck Down Under S03E01: Please Don’t Sous Me
And in Denver, we're going to be doing Southern Charm. So come see us and go to WatchWhatCrappens.com for all of our dates. We've got, God, 15 more dates coming up, I think, this year. So go check them out. Get your tickets so we can meet you in your town, okay? Also, we're doing Traders Recaps this year, and they are on Patreon. We also have videos on Patreon if you prefer video recaps. Hi.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I don't know. I don't like it. So then, Johnny. Who's going to love that? Marina, who's going to have to clean it up. She's going to love that. Marina, who's not getting laid and has no chance to get laid because she's stuck in laundry all the goddamn time, has to clean up your roses? No.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Okay, so he's like, you look so beautiful. He's just so like aggro. And she's like, oh, thank you, so do you. He's like, come, come, we go, we go on date. You are rice, I'm grape leaf. I wrap you up, squeeze you tight. She's like, all right, all right, just a drink. Let's just start with the drink.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
i started head upping okay that's like a dumb guy like that's that's a beyond about to write a poem you know what i mean no one needs you to head up start the push to start back on the push-ups you can do push-ups without punching people okay yeah so i mean i don't do either but still so he's like yeah growing up i had group that is always like this
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
And in high school, we were going out as crew, and I would always stand up for crew, but crew was sometimes wrong. So, you know, you know, I was like, okay, so you beat up a bunch of innocent gay people. Just say it.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So she's like, do you chase after women? And he's like, only when my friend tells me to, and then crush. She's like, okay, all right, maybe let's change the subject. He's like, but you, you are amazingly beautiful, like someone from other planet. She's like, um.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So... If you want to hear us recap wallpaper, go check that out. But no, White Lotus is so much fun. And all of our Watch What Crappens On Demand videos are also on Patreon, like this one today. Hi, you can watch me put on lip gloss. Are you excited? It's going to be good.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I've never really seen that. It's like an avatar or? No. She's like, like when a person has a bump in stomach and it starts pushing, pushing, and then boom, come out, look them in the face, eat their face. Eat my face like animal in stomach.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
She's like, that is so romantic. I mean, he's really a romancer. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So then the rest of the crew is going to party on the boat for Marina's birthday, and she's getting sushi boats. And, you know, they put up a thing that says, happy birthday. And she's like, oh my God, this is so sweet. Now, did you have the dryer sheet on your shoe there? She's like, damn it.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
He's like, but you're so gorgeous. Like, you've got green on tonight. Look at you. Green, green, green, green, green. She goes, yeah, it's soft. It's kind of like minty. By the way, don't ever take a mint. That's so feminine. All right? I just want you to stink.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Please enjoy this gift. I've gone out of my way to get you. She's like... Wait, these are Tide Pods. Exactly. Put a candle in it and get back downstairs for dinner.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
She's like, but for now, we party. Okay. Why are you throwing your uniform shirt at my head? Clean it. It stinks. Damn it.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
He's just too much. It's like, would you like to share a pizza? It's melting like my heart. I will get your oils all over me. Warm on the inside. It's like, all right, pepperoni's fine.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
What rhymes with sweat? It's like writing poetry in his head. So I want to know what's happening on this date. Do you reckon they're kissing? And they're like, oh my God, 100% kissing. So we go back to the date and she's like, I'll take you to Italy one day. I've done a lot of traveling in my life. You know, my sister's done more, but of course she would.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
You know, I mean, how do you get a little lonely? Because I am a people person. You know, it's like you can always go on your own and meet people on the way. A little bit dangerous though, eh? I love a dangerous woman. You get into danger, I do this.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Most romantic story I've ever seen in my life. Have you ever gone into a bank? They're like, hey, how are you? And then you're like, hey, how are you? Are we married now? Puff.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
you know i don't really trust your sweet nothings but it's nice to hear them and he's like oh then i will keep telling you you have amazingly beautiful deep eyes so deep i look into them i feel like i might get trapped down here please stop i i really can't deal with please please you're too much you're you are your your mouth is why are you so close to my eyelids right now this is this is too much for me
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Would you like me to read menu? Pizza. Cheese. Margarita.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I'm marrying this menu. This menu is from another world. So she comes back and the girls are like, oh my God, tell me more, tell me more. And she's like, well, I mean, it was lovely. You know, he did stick a piece of pizza on his wiener and ask it to marry him. But I mean, otherwise it was great. Missed you guys though. And so the boy is like, did you kiss her, bro? Did you score?
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
This one makes me, actually, I like this one less because I feel like they're just whoring each other out in these versions, you know? Their Never Have I Ever is, never have I ever given a blowjob to Weehan. About to correct that right now. All right, Vian, come over here. I'm like, no, that's not how this game works.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Never have I ever sold a story to Page Six about somebody returning a dog to the wrong place. Lisa Vanderpump.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
And I also don't believe that none of these guys have ever gotten to BJ. They're stuck on a boat, okay? That's like prison, you know? Everybody's sexuality turns when they go in prison. You know, if you've got time to lean, you've got time to peen.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Oh, it sounded like bestiality. I was like, damn. Ben's on with it.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So now she's like, okay, moving on. Truth or dare? I like that better. We can whore each other more easily with that game. So game over. So Vion's like, truth. And she's like, who do you fancy the most? And he's like, a dare and poetry. And so they cheers. And then Lara dares Alicia to kiss a guy she wants to kiss the most.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
and then now the moment you've all been waiting for the raunchiest couple on the boat is gonna get it on in the guest room yeah so he takes brie harry takes brie to the vip two room and um she she sees the flowers oh my god you made the pen that's so cute how did it feel is that too personal of a question
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So then Vion and Adair are talking and it's less exciting, you know? So they make out a little, but she's like, I want a bed. So she goes, and then Vion goes into Jon and he's like, ha ha, I kissed her. You see, poetry works. He's like, this is why I do head up. I do, I do head up.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
But it wasn't that good because Johnny asks about Harry and Vian says, oh, she's in a cabin. I want to go up to her and be like, I don't think this is the right guy for you. You know, you need like a fucking guy, not a fucking wimp.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Me too, I really like you.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Have you ever peeled an orange with a spoon? Or do you use your fingers? She's like, I've used a spoon before. Me as well.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So I guess it sounds like Harry's got a big wanker.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Well, you know, look, I have a soft spot for Vion because he's a go-go boy. And so I love a go-go boy. Now, at first I was getting really angry because I'm always rooting for go-go boys. You know, for example, like when I give over my $5 or whatever, I say things like... Are you studying? Like, are you going to school? Yeah. And so in this case, I'm mad at him. I'm mad at my go-go boy.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So then Alicia is serving leek and celery soup with toasties, okay? And then for dinner, she's gonna do Korean rice, which sounds great. So Adair tells Jason, it's radioing people, and Adair just goes, have you ever heard the saying, I'm sweating like a hoe in church? I think she says it to Johnny or something like that. Yeah, Johnny's like, you crazy. You're a crazy woman.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
And we find out that Corinne is coming, and Corinne is from The Bachelor, and she stole Corinne. On The Bachelor, she was like, it's so hard because, like, I live with my daddy and my mom and a nanny, and it's gonna be so hard to be away from my nanny, because she's the only person who knows how to make my special pasta. And they're like, oh, what's your special pasta? And she says...
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Well, pasta and butter and Parmesan cheese. Wow, so untalented Danny.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
But on a positive note, he'll probably return to the pole soon. So that's a win for me, you know? So keep it up, Vion. See you soon, buddy. Keep it up.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
The big smile on his face. That's what I like about that fish. If the sea was an ocean and I was the manager... If the sea was an ocean. If the ocean was a restaurant and I was the manager, I'd be like, you know what? Your service is terrible. I'm not going to lie to you. Like, here's your review. Your service is terrible because you keep eating people.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
And you can't do that because it eats into our profit margin. But on the positive side, they let you because you're always smiling. You're like such a good smiler.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Yeah, the moray eel is that person we know that's always like, hi. Hi. Hi, everybody. Hi. And then they eat you, you know?
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Did he have one of those engine things? Yeah, he just did it with his own...
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Well, that's why the billies of the Cunninghams have made it all the way to the third. All right. Very, very fit people. They've got strong lungs. The very Cunninghams. So Serena's like, oh, I'm going to feed these guys like Russians, wealthy Russians. They like luxury. They're getting caviar. They like, you know, I'm just putting as much caviar on the table.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I don't even care if they eat it, you know? Let's do this.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Yeah, I don't know that I've heard of that, but I don't know. I haven't heard of a lot of things. I'm not a very fancy person.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
even these people like chicken with caviar i haven't heard of that but it worked it worked yeah so it's not good but whatever whatever floats your boat i'm i'm poorer than you i'm like i don't get it so then jason gets into the peanut m&ms which like brings me back a little bit to his side and um he goes see what happens when i've got no digestive i guess he like makes a little burp and marina's like watch you get cranky and you start micromanaging everyone ha ha ha ha
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
And he's like, I do not micromanage. And if you can't manage yourself, that's where I'm going to step in. And don't talk to me like that again. I was like, oh, my God. That's the first person I've ever seen able to feel anger with a peanut M&M in his mouth.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Oh, I'm mad and mad. Or I'm mad and mad. Mad and mad. Look, even the little characters on the yellow bag are angry now. This girl will get you. She's like, oh my God, this is true. I've never seen angry M&M before. I'm so sorry. I take it all back.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
The Lady M&M is wearing sneakers. It's so sexist to have a sexy Green M&M.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Sneakers aren't sexy. So then she apologizes, but he's not having it. He's pissed. So they get ready for the wig party, and Lara goes down for a 25-minute nap. And then Vian's like, where's Adele? I want to ask her out on a date. I'm going to take one of the roses, and I'm going to give it to her. She's not that into you. I'm sorry. She just doesn't like you.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
And you're already, you picked her third, and you're still trying to figure out a way that you can go steal Brie back.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
You know, it's my job to be a mentor, a mentor to my girl. So it's kind of like a stand and deliver moment. Stand and deliver curry. No, not curry.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So... I want chicken noodle soup with a five-pronged fork. Do you understand? All right, it's going to take you far.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crap, and it's a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Bravs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hi, Ben.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So Lara compliments the tables, and then Marina orders Adair to go down and start the cabin. The guests come up for dinner, and we see what it is. She's like, here we are. This is a misspelling in our notes, but it's a funny one. She's like, here we are, choking, carrot puree, and caviar.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Sabrina watched about five minutes of Corinne's season of The Bachelor and has decided something appropriate would be something that could possibly kill her. So let's please bring out the choking.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
But no, it's chicken and caviar. And Corinne's like, yeah, we're like caviar people. Do you have a nanny to like maybe cut mine up and feed it to me? So they love this caviar and chicken idea. They're like, wow, that chef has really got it going on, says Billy Cunningham III.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
They got a mud pit? They got air rifles? We can shoot some cans off of logs? I mean, what the hell?
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So he hands her a rose, and she goes, Oh, wow! Creative! aroused she's uninterested only pussies watch the bachelor um i love how much she's not into me on it's so funny to me so then uh serena uh is stirring some truffle sauce stir it more quickly it's quite thick i'm worried it's about to explode darling why is the truffle sauce so orange oh i put curry powder in it is that okay all right
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
yeah um my dog really hates me playing the piano and he just made it evident because he rubbed up against the wall and unplugged the piano so i will take the hint wow okay that was passive aggressive yeah that's just straight up aggressive bueller's like i can tell we're getting close to the end of the recap because it's gonna be piano time soon so let me just abort that situation ahead of time where's my where's my phone party dad
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So now the guests are talking about the Wagyu beef filet and the lobster and truffle cream. And Billy Cunningham III is like, whoa, this steak is like special. And one of the guests is like, yeah, I heard Billy likes to go down and dirty on you. And his girl's like, um, yeah, why are you talking? Please stop talking.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Well, I don't know why you have to make it like that.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
He's like, yeah, he likes to go down and make the girl feel better or something like that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
well he's grosser so um we could also say no no no i'm not interested in you right yeah like i don't care if i don't care about serena i just don't want to hear her cry about it then i'll care yeah i don't want you know she should know crying about it more but if she doesn't cry about it then who cares So then Vihan is telling Harry that Johnny's gonna rinse the boat and then go to bed at one.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So whatever doesn't get done tonight, write it down. And Harry's like, okay, we'll all just crack on straight away in the morning. Surely it'll all work out. It's just a phone party.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Well, I like that he's on a luxury yacht as someone with a name that pinches pennies. So that's nice. So he's like, will I die if I eat the foam? God, this is what we get for bringing a fucking saver onto the boat. That was foam.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I think it's like in Mr. Mom when he puts dish soap in the washing machine or something. Yes. And the whole house is flooded with bubbles.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Oh, the 80s. So, by the way, Saver is so stupid. He goes, will I die if I eat the foam? And then he eats some foam and he's like, what? And he starts barfing over the side of the boat. And he's like, I got it out. Whoa, this is sick as hell, bro.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Yeah, so then after the party, Johnny's like, where is Vian? And they're like, I don't know. No one's seen him. And he's like, I have to clean alone. And it's all this foam. It's not good.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I will say that the aquarium needs some work. That aquarium looks great. I think he's doing like natural, he's trying to do the natural aquarium thing because, you know, I love a natural aquarium. I've gone into it a million times, even though I couldn't do it myself. I tried it and I murdered a lot of fish that way. But I just, you know, at the end of the day, clean it.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Yeah, so he's useless as usual. So then Adair tells Marina she gets to go on a date, which is just what Marina wants to hear. She's like, wow, really? Don't make him fall in love with you. Folding a towel, you know? It's like, he ain't gonna fall in love with me. He's just known me for three weeks.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I mean, Jesus Christ, that's enough time to impregnate me, but that ain't enough time to fall in love. Get real, girl.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Well, here's how you clean up foam. Do you want to hear? Yes. After a foam party, the foam usually dissipates naturally, but you can speed up the cleanup by spraying the area with water or using a hose to wash it away. It's biodegradable and safe for the environment and lends an extra party note to eels.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Well, file a complaint with AI because that's who said it.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So Johnny is upset, but orders are orders. And I did the best I possibly could. If I was fucking octopus, I would clean better. But I only have two hands. Two hands for a beta man that messes with my friends.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
You know, nature is better when it's cleaned. That's why we have leaf blowers and lawnmowers.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So in the morning, Harry's not really... I think he stays up until three or something, which is crazy.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Yeah, so we're trying to figure that out. And meanwhile, Jason tells Lara, you know what Marina said to me? She goes, I didn't hear. You know, but there was a point in the crew mess and she kind of cornered me on like what's happening with service and housekeeping. And it was a bit of an inappropriate time because Adair was there.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
And then Adair got stuck in and trying to give me ideas on how I should rotate the girls. And I was just like, he's like, excuse me, do I have the right to bitch occasionally? Because I was just about to tell you.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Yeah. And Lara's like, why are you cleaning this now? We're about to have breakfast. It's extremely unprofessional. And he's like, well, it was supposed to be done last night. I don't know what happened. Johnny should have done it. And she's like, well, he was out here for hours. And he goes, exactly. And, you know, then Harry should have done it. If it wasn't done last night, he points to Harry.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
And she's like, okay, but this is still not the time to clean. He goes, oh, do you want me to just leave it dirty then? No, how about you fucking help your crew do their job instead of sleeping and eating all day, you lazy fucking motherfucker. Oh, my God. He's the worst. How about he's one of those go-go boys that just toe taps?
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Because he knows he's about to get tattled on. It's so funny.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Well, Harry is a tattletale, but you're supposed to go to your superior if... Like, if your immediate superior's not doing their job, your only course of, you know, action is to go to the superior above them. That's the only way to go. But that's not the same in reverse.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I mean, Vihan looks like so unprofessional going to the captain to complain that stuff isn't getting done when he's supposed to be the one managing the stuff getting done.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So then Vian goes to Jason and he's like, well, you know, I woke up and there was mess and there was cake and Harry was supposed to do it. But then Laura blamed me for it. And I can't have someone commenting stuff like that if she has no idea what's going on on the outside. Well, you don't know what's going on out there either because you're not there.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Your insides are eating, eating the cake, eating the cake that you're complaining about.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
And Jason's like, excuse me, excuse me. You get nothing for nothing, right? At the end of the day there. Now, we're five charters in, and you know the job. Don't throw people under the bus. Let's get it perfect. You know, I'm over this drama with them. If they can't get it together, someone's going home. Dun, dun, dun.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I'm like, yeah, but also you tattletaled about Marina to an underling too when you had already taken care of it. So it's just like a tattletale kind of an episode. But also, everyone has a point.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I think, ultimately, Jason's at the top, and he's doing a very bad job managing Vian. He's doing a shitty, shitty job managing Vian. He's seen over and over that this guy's fucking up. He doesn't give him the helmet of death. He gives it to everybody else around him, even when Vian's the one fucking up every single time. And now he's acting like, oh, the kids are fighting.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
You shouldn't be kissing me. I'm your underling. And he's like, it's below deck. It doesn't matter here. So it's 22 hours before Charter, and we're still in the meeting with Serena, Lara, and Vihan. Because, you know, Captain Jason, and I have to say, this is not working out well for Jason. Jason is having his first season of possible bad captainry. I'm just going to say it.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
No, that's your underling and you need to fucking take care of him. Why are you more offended that Marina made a smart-ass comment at you than you are that this guy almost drowned a guest because he took a leaking fucking thing into the water? You know, it's weird. How about that? I don't know what's up with Jason. Like, I generally like him.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
He's not mean or he's not bad, but I just, I don't know. I wonder how much... I don't really understand what he's doing.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
But this week they made it clearer that... that Johnny is mad, they just kind of showed that on its own up until now, but tonight's the first time they've shown us that he's, it looks like he's mad at Vihan for causing all this drama and being a little gossip and trying to turn everybody against each other. That's what it looks like at least.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Well, we'll see you next week, won't we, everybody? Thank you so much for being here. Go to Patreon for the video versions of these and our White Lotus bonus episodes. And to get dates for our live shows coming up next weekend and through May and June, go check out watchwhatcrappens.com and we'll talk to you next time. Bye, everyone.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. It.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I know everybody loves Captain Jason and his kimonos. I love Jason, too. I think he's a little low energy without Aisha. There, I said it. And I don't like his hands-off approach to management. I think it's bullshit. And I think that we're starting to see... that it's going to lead to pure chaos. So he's like, I don't want to deal with this. You guys are adults. You do it yourself.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. We're on the floor with Molly Dorsett.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I'm going to go watch Netflix and look at my natural fish, beg me for a vacuum cleaner through the glass. Have a good meeting. And he leaves. So they're stuck doing it themselves, and it's not working out so great.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Yeah, and he's like, and another thing is my people need to go fill up their water bottles in the sinks. They need to fill them up. Like you can't, you know, they have to go to the fridge. And I'm like, babe, they're not mad at your people for getting water. They're mad at them for standing around having coffee.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I actually have all the ingredients for a smoothie, but I just keep refusing to do it. I'm drinking more coffee instead. Party! Smoothie protests. Love it. Yeah. I'm like, nope. Spinach, you can suck my wiener. Okay, today, everybody, we are going to... We're going on tour again. We're back out next weekend. We're going to be doing three cities, so join us, won't you?
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
You know, he's trying to like move the bear, you know, move the goalposts or whatever so that his argument is correct. No, you're lazy and you're fucking around all the time. I don't care if it's hot, you know. Do what the rest of us do when it's hot. Complain.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
And he's like, that's not the way I manage. I don't want to be walking into a room like, oh my God, here he comes and be the dick. You know, that's not how I want to manage. I'll do whatever I want. I don't care. I don't even care. I don't care what you say. Poetry doesn't write itself. Poetry doesn't write itself while you're shamming. All right. Shamming can wait. My heart is huge.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
It has so much to give.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Yeah, he's used to working with his tip, you know? Yeah. You want better poetry? Write it with your tip. That's what I say. You'd win the whole show. We would be on your side. I'd be like, that man doesn't have to clean a thing.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So Serena's like, okay, let's just meet up for 20 minutes after the preference team meeting and we'll make plans. And then we can all be happy. And he goes, well, I've been happy since day one, so... It's not me the one that's happiness. Okay, that's like telling a sick person, like, you know... What was I going to say? Sorry. Well, I'm healthy. So like, you know, I was healthy.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
And you're the sickness, sickness. You're the one who got us all sick. Yeah, you're the one that got us all sick. I don't know what I was trying to say. Yeah, it's like if someone is still thinking about kissing fish and how inappropriate that is.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Yeah. So he's mad, and he's like, well, I've always been happy, so you're the one. If you're not happy, it's your problem, you know? If you're not happy in this marriage, that's on you. That's a you thing. No, you're the one sticking your dick into your secretary.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
We're going to be in Boston, Detroit, and Chicago, okay? Episode announcements are coming later this week, so hold tight. And then in May, we're going to go to Imo's in Austin and Dallas, Texas. We're going to be at the Texas Theater. And then on May 15th, we're going to be in Las Vegas. We are going to add two more dates, two more cities, but we're not telling you yet, so...
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Yeah, but she also did kind of, like, purposely try and start getting snotty with Serena and Lara. Well, intern Lara, because starting a fight with Serena over a man, you know, and she could have been nicer about it, you know, too. But, because I think you have the right to try and... get the D that's on the board, they're limited. You know what I mean?
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So I think she was well within her rights, but I think she did it in kind of a way like, ha ha, let's see who wins now. And that wasn't good. So she's kind of put herself in a bad situation, but I don't think that she deserves to get stuck downstairs either. And this is another weird management thing. When they say like, okay, I'm not going to assign roles to anybody.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I'm just going to see how the season works out. And then suddenly you're like, but I told you, you have to be in laundry and that's it.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Yeah, so Alicia's getting ready for her date with Johnny. And Brie's like, oh my God, you look so pretty. And she's like, yeah, thank you. It's a little bit nerve wracking, you know? She goes, oh, I know. I was so nervous about my date with Harry. Has Harry talked to you about my date with Harry? Has Harry talked to you about what he felt about our date? Oh my God. Has Johnny talked to you?
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
How does Johnny feel about going on a date?
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
I plan on wearing a seersucker and a hat made out of straw that's very flat and taking her on a walk, on a boardwalk, possibly with an umbrella to shade her from the sun. She's like, what are you, a castrato? What is this? What are we, in church? Are you a little boy missing his nuts? You need to fuck the girl, Harry. Fuck the girl.
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Jesus Christ, I want to see a side of you that your mother's never seen, Harry. I want to see it come raging out of you. Quack, quack, quack. He's like, oh, so shall we watch Netflix?
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#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Make this as a shadow, all right? A finger going into a hole. That's what I want to see, all right?
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
So he, yeah, he's like, I want to show her that I think I'm really, really into a period and make it special. But the way that it's written is creepy. I want to show her that I'm actually really, really into a period and make it special. No, don't do that. So, let me just get on schedule.
Watch What Crappens
#2785 Below Deck Down Under S03E09: Foaming at the Mouth
Wait and see. But keep checking watchwhatcrappens.com. The calendar page and ticket links and all that are right there. It's also where you will see a link to Patreon. Patreon. That's where you get our bonus episodes for White Lotus, which we're doing. Yesterday's was so much fun. We have a bunch of theories. The first one, we read over all the wallpaper and tried to figure out what that meant.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Let's do some Real Housewives of New Jersey, because I miss that show. I do not want that show recast at all, because I thought it was a great season. I don't care if they all hate each other. I don't care if it's toxic. I say bring somebody in from Jersey Mike's and throw them in there as the cast, and let's watch them go. Jersey Mike's. They're still on pause.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
And so Bethany was saying something about, you know, she was dissing it, basically. She was weighing in on Teresa and Louie's messy financial issues, which we'll get into in a minute. And then... And kind of going on kind of going off like Jersey's kind of trash, you know, it's like a trashy show.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
And a quote from Bethany's, you know, you on that show like you have no money if you're like kind of like, you know, it's a trash dumpster fire of a show, you know, like she's actually to be. Oh, oh. And then so. She was saying this stuff. So then Dolores went on Two Teas in a Pod because, you know, there's different people covering while Teddy's out.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
And she was like, yeah, you know, I heard this. She's calling us a trash dumpster fire. You know, to me, this girl's a dumpster fire, okay? She's a broken, broken girl. I don't remember her because, you know what? She's rememorable, which is such a Dolores thing to say.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
i remember her because i'm an empath and i felt energy from her you know that's why and to knock the same platform that made her it made her trash broken i don't want to say things i can't take back but i'm just going to say it she's a slob there i'm sorry sorry i should have warned you if there were children in the room i apologize she's a slob
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
So I like I just like Bethany trying to come for people that she can't come for. But speaking of two Ts in the pod, have you seen all this stuff with Teddy? You know, Teddy and God bless her in both both ways, you know, the good way and the bad way. But Teddy has like brain cancer and is going through all of this shit. She's going through like some serious stuff.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
And so Teddy has been getting a lot of goodwill, I think, from everyone, from the audience, from her fellow Bravo people. And rightly so, you know, that's a huge deal, like multiple brain tumors and stuff. Well, Teddy comes back to her show and starts going on, starts like naming a list of all the people who haven't been calling her with cancer. Teddy, really? You're going to do that?
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Like, you've got all this goodwill, Teddy. Just stop. Please don't do this. She's like, let me tell you who else didn't call me about my cancer. Dorit Kemsley. She's like shaming people. She's got like a cancer call list that she's putting up for people to go after. That's just rank, Teddy. Stop that.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
did her a solid you backed up her story but how is teddy like the only person in the world to like blow a cancer storyline like you finally got everybody's goodwill on the internet this has literally never happened and you blow it within a week come on girl but still get better she's probably going through a lot with trauma oh my goodness yeah lord knows what's going on but i just thought god that's just so teddy you know god bless her
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Yeah, let me make it simple for you, Rinna. You were an asshole, okay? You were an asshole and people turned on you and called you an asshole. If you don't want to be called an asshole, don't be an asshole, okay? And this is a perfect example of her being an asshole. She's like, I will never talk about housewives again.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
No, I'm beyond that now.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
But she immediately needs to try selling her podcast to people because who really wants to hear about her talking about her like Afro pubic hair with her husband? Not me. I don't. Nobody wants to hear that. So now she's having to dredge all this stuff back up and go on every podcast in the world and act like a victim. Girl, you're not a victim. You did it to you.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
OK, you are the villain in your own life. Now, please stay away.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
So good. All right, well, here we are with another week of some Bravo news and gossip. One of the biggest things going on this week that was pretty sad is Garcelle walked off Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She was like, goodbye, goodbye. This is apparently... After the reunion, the reunion begins this week for Beverly Hills, the three-part reunion.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Let me tell you. Oh, no, go ahead. I'm sorry. I thought the ha was a period.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
No.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Say it ain't so. No. They bought a mansion, 3.5 million in Montville. Oh my God. Scrolling past the Louis purple faced pictures. Are you on the money? I forgot how purple he is. Geez. He gets more and more purple.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
The million dollar loan, blah, blah, blah. He's screwed. The final, it's due March 25th. So he's kind of screwed. And doesn't Teresa owe taxes too? What's happening with Teresa's life?
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
There's another article in Yahoo with Gia, because Gia's going to have a show on Bravo. Guys, don't be mad at me, but I'm not going to be a lawyer anymore. I'm going to be an influencer, okay? So whoever's listening to that.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Apparently, they all come for Garcelle because Garcelle, you know, mentioned Dorit's robbery probably being faked by PK or hinted at that or whatever. And then, you know, coming after her for mentioning Kyle's alleged lesbianism. And Sutton chose the asshole side. She chose the side of Fox Force 5, which she's never going to be a part of. So, Garcelle was like, fuck you guys and quit the show.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
I decided I was needed more in the Amazon, you know, stretchy pants category. So that's what I'm going to be doing from now on guys. So she was, she's out there trying to do damage control, but it's Gia, like, so it doesn't really work. She's just like, guys, it's all overblown about my mom. She's doing fine.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
While Ruella's owed $2.6 million. I like him. They round up. But her, she's like, plus $0.20. And don't you forget it.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
I just wanted to be a lawyer in the first place so that my dad could get back home and Melania could shave his back right. Because he doesn't get his shave right any other place. So... He learned about waxing, so I dropped out. I don't need to do it no more. Bethany Frankel, who rose to fame as an original blah, blah, blah, said, Oh my God, Teresa, say it ain't so.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Yeah, so I think she dropped that whole thing. Now she's back in it. No Bravo fan ever leaves, you know? We can say, I'm sick of this. That's always cracked me up in Bravo threads, because every season of every show, there's people like, I am done with this show. Currently it's Garcelle. Like, I will never watch this show again without Garcelle. I am leaving!
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
And then you see their ass the next season being like, send such a bitch. You never leave. You're stuck here forever, okay? You are Bravo fans. We never die.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Not as much as Gia's. Gia's had a lot of quotes this week. So Gia was like, thanks a lot, Bethany Frankel. As a mother, a mother with daughters, you say that about someone. Well, I hope the TikTok check is worth it.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Or Bethany making a case against people choosing bad men. You know what I mean? But hey, listen, if I could only judge things I was qualified to judge, I wouldn't have a job.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
What do you think?
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
And what is it with James's girlfriends always needing to go into, like, some flaky space, you know? Like, she's doing sound baths, Ali is an astrology reader or whatever.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
um by the way i heard i heard that she's going to do a podcast for her astrology stuff which will be cool because you know i'll listen to it i'll call it flaky but then my ass will be there listening every episode like what door am i in what door am i what door is my son in is my son at the door can my can my son and my moon get door dash Okay, so let's see. What else do we have here?
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
More Erika Jayne stuff?
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Those are gigantic children. Those are Texas-sized children. It's like when I come back home to Texas and everybody's like seven feet tall suddenly and like gigantic. What the hell?
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Thank you.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Thank you.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Thank you.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Thank you.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
And Sutton's about to get a nice taste of real viewer hate as well. Because she's also been protected by Garcelle in a way. Because as monstrous as Sutton can be on the show, she's always had Garcelle to be like, well, she's okay. I think she's okay. Which I think makes a lot of us kind of forgive Sutton. Like, well, Garcelle thinks she's okay. You know, she must be okay.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Thank you.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Thank you.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Thank you.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
And now she fucked over Garcelle. And Sutton's really going to get a taste of that. According to Parade.com, which I don't know where this originated, but... Grosselle Bouvet and Sutton Strack still not speaking after their reunion.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
,,,,,,, So what do you think of this? People are pretty pissed off on the internet because they feel like Kenya got fired for next week's revenge porn episode, which we still haven't seen, obviously. But why wouldn't they punish Brit over basically threatening someone with a firearm? Is that what we really need on Atlanta?
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Well, she has a pistol with her. I think she says, I've got my pistol.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Well, hello and welcome to Crappie Hour, March 31st, 2025. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hi, Ben.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Yeah, I...
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
you know i actually am team kenya on this i'm not off often team kenya but the thing that pisses me off and i see it a lot in the comments here is that kenya just doesn't ever she just always goes too far you know what i mean like what she does next week is just like why'd you do that you let this girl win you let this trash win this girl sucks i mean look this girl was trying really hard she was doing like a monologue about how she's gonna get ken's ass and then
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
going on and on and on. And she's annoying. I mean, her worst crime beyond the gun and all that, because that stuff was all trash. But her worst crime is just being bad at this. You're not entertaining. You're not fun. You're not funny. You're not cute. And I don't mean physically. I just mean she's just not...
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
good she's bad at it you're bad you're badly casted you're just bad so that's her worst crime but then kenya couldn't just let this girl fail on her own she had to go to the this whatever revenge porn i don't even know if it is revenge porn because this is revenge porn when you have a picture of somebody that you we don't really even having sex i don't even know what the real death in my mind i'm not even sure i'm not even like there's been a lot of talk about what happened but we don't really know we won't really know what happened at this party until next week
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
taking a pro diana stance in order to like never know you never know when things are going to turn in the bravo world i saw somebody say bring diana back i was like what in the world is happening here that is the power that you know garcelle has i mean jesus christ uh but yeah fuck diana still i don't care i don't forget okay
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
And that's the, that's the biggest problem. Like I'm sitting here saying you're bad at this. You're bad at this to Brit, but Kenya, you should be better than this. Like you've been in there long enough to know you cannot do that shit and get away with it. So yeah.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
i'm i'm on kenya's side this week but i'm ultimately disappointed that she she sucks because she's actually fun to watch this season i mean i'm doing great i would love to hear from having her back i think it's like perfect the perfect casting of having the old cast with the new cast is like yeah blend and it's gonna suck to not have her there so
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Yeah, and for the next 10 minutes or so, we will be talking to you guys on camera. The link is in the comments. For those of you listening on audio, thank you so much for being here. We'll be here in another couple of weeks at 5.30 on Monday Pacific time. We'll talk to you next time. For those of you who want to stay and talk on camera, stick around. For everybody else, we'll talk to you next time.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Bye.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Yes, we can-a, it's Sedana.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Well, actually, I forget most everything, but that I'm not going to forget. Fuck that lady. And still team Sutton in that situation for the most part. But yeah, Sutton fucked up big on this one.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Meanwhile, Kyle has been seen all over the place following Morgan on her international tour. They've got, you know, she's calling the paps in Ireland. She's calling them in France. She's got them all over the place getting pictures of her. For sure to get pictures of her and Morgan into any sad magazine that she can. And by sad magazine, I mean all the ones that I read.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
yeah i don't no one cares about that morgan wade although morgan wade you know she's like yeah i ain't gonna be on your show this year you know i'm gonna do that to me again i'm gonna sit there and talk about shrimp all day oh wait a minute fried shrimp boiled shrimp veal shrimp um popcorn shrimp but uh she's actually done very well from this because i see people posting all the time hey look it's me at a morgan wade concert
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
No one cared about it.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
I know that Morgan had some success or whatever, but she's gotten a huge boon from the Bravo audience. So at least get your ass on camera, man. You know? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Payback. Yeah. At the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. Something's fucked.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
For those that didn't see the clip that we were talking about, Andy said, so what do you guys think of Garcelle leaving the show? And they just both, Erica said it very straight and they just both stared straight ahead and were silent. And he's like, okay, you don't think anything of it?
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
They just stared straight ahead, like being really super catty, which I think the world expects from Erica, but the world does not really expect that from Bose, you know? And then Bose gave some, and Andy was like, really, you guys can't say anything.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
And Bose eventually gave some answer that was like, well, you know, I wish she'd stayed around to work it out, which was kind of supportive, but also kind of being like, why is she such a wuss? She couldn't like stick around kind of thing. Right. Wow.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Yeah, and it was like page three of a carousel and it was too little too late, ma'am. Sorry, but that ship had already sailed. It doesn't count when you're already in trouble with everybody. You know what I mean? This is already getting a taste of what it's like. And now people are pulling up all sorts of stuff.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
They're putting out, well, I'd seen these articles before about like, you know, Boze's career sucked anyway. And you know, I don't want to go that far. I mean, I don't need to drag the woman that far. I still like Boze. You know what I mean?
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
She came off as an asshole with Watch What Happens Live. Well, not because she was with Erica. She came off like an asshole on her own. But I still like her. I mean, I don't care.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Yeah, exactly. That's the game, people. But on that same episode, Erica was like, yeah, I just wish you would have been more interesting. Like Erica, the wallpaper queen, like talking about more interesting things. And then she said, I mean, you're going to have to do more than buying a beach house in Bakersfield. Judging it as if her ass wasn't an hour away in Pasadena half the time.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
So fun. Oh, my God. And it's been a whirlwind day. We did a Real Housewives of Atlanta recap. We got halfway through White Lotus on Patreon. So we'll finish that after this show. And we've just been laughing our asses off for three days straight. So, you know, what a life. I can't complain.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Not to mention, her ass is being sued again this week for $24 million because she never turned in her paperwork. Her old lawyer in Florida, Tom's friend that's been... allegedly supporting her and getting her that house in West Hollywood and all that other stuff didn't even file the paperwork, Jim Wilkes.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
And so now in this Marco Marco lawsuit, which I bring up every week on recaps to remind people that she screwed those over. She screwed these two gay guys over so bad. They had a company that produced all of her costumes. She said, never send me an invoice. I don't want to even see him. I'm that rich. Just keep going.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Well, then they got in trouble with Amex because they had an unpaid bill of like a hundred grand or something. And they had friends that owed them. They had a friend that owed them as a favor at the Secret Service. And literally, Erica lied and allegedly lied and said that they overcharged her and that they owe her $100,000. And they ruined their lives. They ruined these guys' lives.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
And so they're suing her, rightly so. I hope she gets fucking taken for every... Well, she doesn't have that much. I hope they literally come peel the... I hope Marco Marco is allowed to come in and peel the wallpaper off her fucking wall of that house.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
watching his wallpaper getting peeled away sadly yeah so the headline from the sun is i can't hide erica jane headed to trial after she's accused of spending 24 million dollars in ex-tom ferrari's fraudulent funds now ever since all this stuff started happening with erica uh you know a big argument on L Internet has been, you know, how is she supposed to know what Tom was doing?
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Well, this lawsuit is being brought by the bankruptcy trustee, Alyssa Miller, who claims that she knew exactly what she was doing and she can prove it. And that's how she's going to get her win. So I'm rooting for you, Alyssa. You go, girl.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
That's our first personal lives to be exciting. What Garcelle was good at was calling people out and saying things that you're not allowed to say to Kyle, because Kyle, you know, is always protected and Garcelle doesn't care. She's like, so are we talking about this lesbian storyline or not?
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Are you just going to parade it to people magazine for money and your other show on Netflix, but not give it to us, give it to us, which I liked and calling Eric out and all that other stuff. So.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
you know i think she was good at that kind of stuff so i'm going to miss her i'm going to miss that voice on the show for sure yeah i she's the last yeah she's she was really good at calling people out um yeah but other stuff going on some jersey stuff is that where you're going to sorry i thought you were i wasn't going to bring stuff up you don't i was i know well you know that's what happens that's how we do things here um
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Yeah. But it's especially kind of grody for Brooke because Brooke, like who's calling Brooke. You know what I mean? I think what the show like Denise is, it's like, yeah, I'll come on your show. You know, you, you'll publicize your cooking show and then I'll publicize my cooking thing. Or like Tori Spelling's like, I'll publicize my podcast and, you know, whatever.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
And then Kathy Hilton's like, well, I'll try and make America forget that I sent my daughter to a prison camp or whatever. You know, like everybody gets something out of it. It's like why you guest on another podcast. You know, you're trying to help each other out. But Brooke is like, I wasn't paid shit. She's not even calling me back.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
You've got a glorious sickness. I mean, your sickness is a good one. I'm like, indulge, baby, indulge. You will find fun board gamers wherever you are.
Watch What Crappens
#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Brooke, you went to rehab and left your 10-foot lizard at her front door, and she took care of that and built it a huge cowboy pioneer city to live in.
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#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
She took care of two of your lizards, Charlie Sheen and Gizmo.
Watch What Crappens
#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
Denise has been answering a banana. Yeah.
Watch What Crappens
#2784 Crappy Hour 3/31/2025: Garcelle Out, Erika Jayne Sued Again, Bethenny Ticks Off Dolores
yeah i don't care brooke um try harder you know you're lucky somebody pulled you out of your house and like put you on a tv show that you're so charismatic on saying hey it's me brooke hi my lizard's dead oh and then brooke just shows up and then she's like my lizard's dead will you guys have a funeral for it do it like yeah she's so entitled she just comes in and makes them throw a lizard funeral you know she does that herself
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Hi, everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Please make sure this doesn't leave a little oil ring somewhere. So Shamia's like saying, yeah, her love language is gifts. And, you know, she was happy that Angela accepted it. So that was a nice moment for the two of them. So now Angela kicks off the evening by welcoming everyone and they're getting their food. And Kenya's like, what are those? And Portia's like, egg rolls.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And she's like, but what's on the inside?
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And Portia's like, peach cobbler egg rolls. You know, everything's sunny southern. So, you know, collard green egg rolls.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And they're joking like it's chitlin egg rolls. And like they have like a little like yes and bit about the egg rolls, which was really funny.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Well, you know who else didn't buy anything? All those children. She's so silent movie star in the look she gives. I know. I love that Kelly did this, though. I know. And then we see Drew's makeup artist, Artez. He walks in and then Kelly says, well, he stayed and he didn't buy anything.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Meaning that after Drew left, Artez just hung out and was in there for all the goss and tried to get new clients. So, Kenya's like, didn't he buy something? Didn't everyone buy something? And then Kelly says, no. And Kenny's like, well, who didn't? And then Kelly does like a swivel and just stares at Drew, which of course, of course, Drew didn't buy anything.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
So then Drew was like, no, well, it's being delivered. And then she pulls out her phone because she has proof. And she's like, here's the proof. And it's a text. Oh, she gets a text while she's showing the proof. And it's a group text with Dennis on it. And Kelly's like, I see Dennis texting, Portia. It's Dennis texting. And she's like, it's a group text. Hello. It's not private.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And she goes, well, I don't care. That's my husband. He has to be there.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
I really like that Kelly did this thing at Balmain and then shamed Drew afterwards because that is classic housewifery. And it's like we are getting... This show has really desperately needed some rich bitch to come in here and be snobby for a while. Because let's be honest, in the previous seasons, it's been like, let's go to Le Archive and shop in Marlowe's leftovers. Right.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
So it's nice to get back into like a proper store.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
My size. Yeah. It's nice. It's nice to get out of. It's nice to get out of tags and archive and get back into Balmain. So I'm going to support this this entire endeavor. Yeah.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
i think she has way she she comes off as someone who has like way more um confidence like marlo acts out in a way that you just feel like oh this is someone who's like desperate to be loved and angela's like these shows i got a little beautiful yeah but i we haven't seen angela really pushed over the edge yet so i want to see what she gets like when she's pushed over the edge because i'm just a slight bit of marlo they're just slight it's just a hint
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Well, listen, she had a great comeback last week when she called Shamia Flava Flav. So like, if that's a sign of what's to come, I'm very, very excited. Yeah.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Team shit. Yeah. And Cher's so nice. She was so nice to the server when the server came by. She's like, thanks, babe. And Cher's like, look, I get it. It's your man. I'm not hating. I love him, but I need one-on-one time. And Britt's like, you know what?
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And Portia's like, well, I'm gonna take my weave out because I'm gonna get a massage on my head.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And she's joking about it. Better read for free. So then Angela's like, Shamia, bring us up to speed with everything that's going on in your life. And she's like, well, thank you so much. Well, the first thing that's happened in my life...
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Yeah, and so she's singing, and Portia starts being such a, Portia's, she's being a dick.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
She's like, um, when do you start singing?
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
No, that's not you. That's Drew. When do you sing?
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
What are you talking about? That's not your voice.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
You think I don't know your singing voice? That's not you. You're not singing right now.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Portia also is, she is pretty controlling about how she films. I mean, this whole Dennis thing, That is a full fledged example of it. We've seen her leave vacations early. We saw that she dropped the news about Simon the day after part three of the reunion that season ended. So she is really good about she takes a lot of time and effort.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
into plotting what comes on screen what is not on screen how it is on screen and who is it with and so this is all to say shamia has been sidekick a sidekick for years on this show and now suddenly shamia is not only a full-fledged cast member she is initially being seen as the glue for this cast in the first few episodes i don't think porsche likes that personally we already see that she's uncomfortable with dennis
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
having scenes with Drew and obviously she's in a better position with Shamia, but I don't think she's comfortable with Shamia having a peach.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And Portia tries to back. She tries to backtrack.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And she's like, when I say it sounds like Drew, it's because I think it sounds good. I generally thought it was Drew singing.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
No, no, no. That's too late. Too late. You're being shady.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
I'm like, no, she probably is just sick of him being there. He probably doesn't want to be there either, by the way. He is one of the more disinterested husbands that we've seen in a while.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And then someone says, I did hear your husband was spicy. And Angela's like, he can be. And Portia's like, well, now I've heard something else about Charles because they're sort of alluding that there's stories about Charles that are out there.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
um wait a minute porsche you've got tea and she's porsche's like oh wait i'm gonna wait and just like well what did you hear about my husband she's like i'm gonna wait okay next question so the next question well no angela's like porsche doesn't even want to speak about her own marriage under her own and her own relationship so why are you mentioning my husband like don't even say charles's name don't even get it out i'm sorry stupid bitch the producer goes what and she says nothing
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
She shows her panties saying, Oh my God, that's the biggest vagina skinny and all the food.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And then we get to, we get to shady questions. It's the silly questions, which by the way, thankfully the silly part was like really brief. It wasn't like Potomac or like Beverly Hills where they draw out the, or real housewives of New York. Like, what's your favorite sexual position you've had while eating ice cream? And then it's like 10 minutes of them talking about it.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And then 10 minutes of interviews of them reacting like vanilla ice cream. I don't think I can eat vanilla ice cream ever again. So this is just like a quick thing. And then they get to the shady questions. Um, so, so then they're basically, they come for Kenya. And by they, I mean, Brit. So Brit says, um,
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
It's like, no, you and Mimosa are going to sit here and judge share with me.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Can you speak to Britt kindly and not with an attitude? I didn't write that, I promise. I didn't write it, but it's hilarious. Are you mad because Britt's gorgeous and wears denim tops?
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Are you jealous of insurance agents? So then Kenya's like, well, the answer is yes. I can speak to everyone kindly without an attitude, and I think I have. And so Britt's like,
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
So what do you mean? Why? I've got the floor, baby. You're the one with the attitude here. Kenya does not give you any attitude or any, like, really significant attitude for Kenya.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
So Britt's basically like saying, you know, Mike's been great to her.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
She goes, um, you're having a moment. Do you need to step out? Do you need to step out?
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Yeah, the pass. It's also close to my ex-husband's book, The Step In Parenting. Wasn't she in Step Up, Drew? Oh, she was in Step Up. You're right. I thought it was a reference to the Step In Parenting, and then I was thinking about dropping with Drew when they did Steps.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
She's like, would you like to drop it, Kenya? I was like, thank you. Thank you again.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
So Brit is like, Brit's like, do you need to step, like, you're having, oh, you're having a moment. Do you need to step out? And Kenny's like, I am a moment. I can speak to everyone.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
I'm like, wow, you're really fired up about a question you quote unquote didn't write yourself.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Yeah, the person's going to grasp. Yeah, like a professional reality star. So Kenya's like, okay, I'm not going to play these childish games. Peasants cannot come for queens. And she's like, what?
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Angela's like, okay, well, guys, we have olive oil over here. Olive branch. Charles is going to get mad soon if it spills, so come on. Enjoy it. I love when she goes, girls have got olive oil over here.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
If you don't have a lot of friends, you may want to examine that.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And Britt goes, um, I didn't send for her.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And everyone's like, okay, whatever.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Some people are trying to be the wrong ones for their moment. Like, get the fuck out of here, bitch.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Oh yeah, you wanna come for me? You want a piece of me? I'm like a piece of apple pie. Everyone's gonna get a piece today. Come at me, bitch.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And here's how you know she's wrong with you. It felt very like it was, you know, it was kind of like Brittany Bateman trying to have a scene on Salt Lake City, you know, and like Brittany Bateman was funny because she also was just as blatant and obvious, but she just flopped so many times that we just grew to enjoy it. But Brit isn't at that level yet.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
of flopping somebody this is just like she needs to do a whole bunch of flops but she is also met with the same thing that britney bateman was often met with which is indifference and that's really a bad sign when she's trying to stir this whole thing up and she's starting to get feisty and just no one's paying attention everyone's like okay whatever we're gonna go now yeah they're like kenya's like whatever kenya's just ignoring it she's trying to gather the veterans they're like you know kiki about it etc like
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Let me call my husband that cares about me.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Oh, we're not done. We're not done. We're still catching this moment. Where are you going? I'm going to call my husband. I'm going to call my husband.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
No, he didn't. They got these big ass gifts and now they're all just like, literally the veterans are getting into their own car to drive away to talk smack about the newbies.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Not dropping it. She's like, this is hard because I want to show I can do reps, but I also need to drop it to show I can drop it with Drew.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
She's like, somebody find my husband. Where you at, baby?
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And Britt's like, I'm ready, baby. I had to let that bitch know. I mean, don't play with me, bitch.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Like, everything's fine. Everything is cool. Everything's good. Can't get her little ditzy ass. Like, bitch, play that shit in front of the cameras. Don't play that with me. I don't play those games. I don't play them. I got whips. I got a pistol. I got everything.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Really? Yeah, she's really trying so hard right now. She's like, play that shit for the cameras. Don't play that shit with me. She calls you a peasant. Girl, you really have to relax.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
But they get to a nice place. And they do, you know, they reaffirm that they love each other. And, you know, and then Britt makes the ultimate sacrifice, which is that her, she gets like three texts and a phone call. And she's like, now you know it's real. Because by the way, Mike is trying to text me. I'm not answering his text right now. Like, oh, wow.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Thank you for that major sacrifice that you're making.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Her name isn't Chaz. It's Cher. Okay. She was meant to be a star. Oh, poor Chaz.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
How about we call, okay. How about we call our album, um, noons, you know, cause like Taylor's is like midnight. So ours will be noons. See what I'm going for there. It's just gonna be, it's gonna be huge. Dress ripper slow. Dress ripper slow.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
It is how you put a hot dog in a bun.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Wait a second. I'm not sure if I understand the motivation. Ladies, if you're sick and tired of it, add some relish or some onions.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Is that new slang? Is that new slang, Dennis? He's like, just trust me.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Do you want your bun toasted? Toasted. So Dennis is like, so, I mean, now that you're single now, you've got to give the guys a little, you know, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. And she's like, well, I'm not technically single. I haven't signed on the dotted line yet. And she tells us, Dennis is an intricate part of the album, which I think she meant to say integral, but she said intricate.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
He's very intricate. He's so intricate on this album. The album artwork is just Dennis's face, but done in a mosaic. It's very intricate.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
We are so honored that we have a representative from the Heinz Corporation writing some of our lyrics for our Ketchup song.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
i actually have a tune done by the coney island producer coney island producer so we just have a great partnership and to put out an incredible body of music and also hot dogs because you know what's the it just works it is so awkward that an entire song has to be done in hebrew but you know what we're trying to cover all the bases with every brand
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
I was really hoping we could find a producer named Nathan just to really just see it all the way through. But unfortunately, he was booked.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
When you show up anywhere on these cameras with anybody else, it's going to be a problem. And he's like, yeah, I don't know. I have no idea. So Drew says, to be honest, there wasn't drama with Dennis and I working together until now. I don't know how genuine it is because Portia's going through a lot of things, but this isn't affecting Portia.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Well, yeah, there wasn't drama with you and Dennis working together until now because there weren't cameras until now. And that is Portia's big issue. She doesn't want Dennis to be able to have a platform to talk shit about her. Yeah.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And Britt's like, wow, look who decided to join us for lunch.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
It's stressful of an environment. It's not a stressful environment, but it's stressful of the environment. He's like, I get it. It's intricate. It's intricate.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
you know and she's like well can you bridge the gap and let's just you know let's just clear the air he's like well you do that so she says you know me and Portia at this point it's like a closed door for me you know like much of the music industry and I've made several attempts to try to talk to her and you have to just let Portia be Portia and we'll talk on Portia's time and if not it is what it is she's acting like she's like totally unbothered by the fact that Portia isn't calling her back but you know it's killing her on the inside cause like she's trying to hitch her hitch onto that Portia star
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And he's like, no, good luck with that. No, I'm in the middle of writing a really good song about Oscar Myers. So the most important part is my mother's loving the storyline. He's like, okay, Drew, we wrote a song about someone who choked on a hot dog. So I need you to go in there and start singing the lyrics. So she gets in there and she's like, bitch, I need to breathe. Bitch, I need to breathe.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
So Cher's like, okay, hi. Okay, well, hi. So they're saying hi. And Britt's like, oh, my God. She's like, how are the kids? And Cher's like, well, you know, one of them's like 6'3".
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Can you go a little bit deeper with your voice?
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
She's like, okay, well, this song is really kicking my butt.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
for real though the lyric is i need to breathe and she says it about 50 times and they're like can you go a little slower can you go a little deeper and she does the same iteration and then she goes wow i mean this song is really kicking my butt you're making grace lily sound like tina turner right now and dennis is like it's a hit though it's a hit it's a hit people people all over the country are gonna be doing the heimlich you have saved lives today ma'am
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
memo to our editor, Christina. I'm going to need you to do a remix of the hit song.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Heimlich, Heimlich, Heimlich, Heimlich.
Watch What Crappens
#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Heimlich, Heimlich, Heimlich, Heimlich, Heimlich, Heimlich, Heimlich, Heimlich, Heimlich.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
No one wants to go to Bankhead. I don't know anything about Bankhead. Me neither. Except Tallulah Bankhead, right? Isn't that someone? But apparently Bankhead is not the safest place and they all do not want to go there.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
So Shamia is asking Portia if she's talked to Drew and Portia's like, no, it's not going to happen tonight because it just needs to be one-on-one and I don't know. I kind of heard a demo of her song and it really fucking sucks. I just don't want to be near that mess. I'm like, damn, it's catchy.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Heimlich, Heimlich. Ronnie, how did your fucking Heimlich song get so catchy? It's just two words. It's not even barely sung. I'm sitting here going, Heimlich, Heimlich.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Yeah, they just talked, basically Portia's like, Portia will have a one-on-one with Drew, but she's not going to do it in a group scene. That's what she basically says.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
They do a big transition shot. Oh, they had so much fun and final cut on this episode because they had this giant vault door. Like you just said, and this guy opens the vault door and opens it very slowly. And on the other side of the vault was a closeup shot of Angela's face. I was like, wow. She's like walking confidently. I was like, oh, wow. Walk into Angela's mouth. That's what this is.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
You haven't seen them in like a year. Let's be honest. You're trying to cover on camera.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Because they just had her face right inside the vault like this.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
I said it was a good use of masking. A little shout out to the post-production team for where they're using the magnetic mask in Final Cut Pro. Can you tell I've been watching Final Cut Pro tutorials? I'm like, great use of the magnetic mask, guys. Can we get a little more soupy on that? Can we use a new filter? Oh, it's Carl. Carl, your editor now.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
Like a Statue of Liberty kind of. It was like the background of our screen here. She's wearing Krappen's blue, aka Statue of Liberty green. And Britt's like, I thought we were all wearing black.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And they're like, you're supposed to wear black.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
But they're like, it's obvious. It was like, we see the imitations like right up there, right in the center. It's like, you are cordially invited to chic black dress code at a bank.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And she's like, I don't own black stuff. Sorry.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
And Britt's like, oh, wow, that was a pat. That wasn't a hug. And she's like, that's a hug without getting makeup on me. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
I can't stand people like that. I cannot stand people. We've all met people who are like, okay, I guess that was a hug. Or like, are you not going to say hi to me? And you just haven't gotten over to them yet. Britt is that person. She's needy as fuck. It's her insecurities. And why should we all have to deal with the...
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#2783 RHOA S16E04 Part Two: Bank of Trymerica
the shit in, in your life because you haven't been able to deal with it properly. And this has nothing to do with her dad. I'm just saying like, it's, she's just one of those insecure people who like the moment, like you don't give them a hard enough hug. They suddenly are triggered into thinking that like, um, they are being like, they're alienated from the group, like relax. It was a hug.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
So we know she's an asshole. I mean, we already knew she was an asshole, but this episode is really the Brits and asshole in cement, you know, congratulations. You got your asshole on the walk of mimosa.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
So Angela's like, I really want to be that insurance lady in a denim top. Somebody, please. What do I have to do?
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
It would help if you could breathe through your nose. You might want to have that looked into. I know. Might I suggest metal straws? I mean, anything at the... Her nose is literally concaved all the way to the back of her face on this part. They just took out this whole... They took out the whole bridge of her nose and just left a little part with holes in it.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
so she's like their families and just keep saying family is everything it's very real housewives in new jersey or my family actually my family was like that my whole life my family was like my family's everything and then they fought over money and now they don't speak they haven't spoken for like 30 years good job guys turns out ronnie is actually related to angela oakley he's like this is my aunt i had the nerve to ask charles oakley to clean a countertop
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
And then tonight, it's too late for you to hear it now, but tonight we're doing Crappy Hour every other Monday night. It's live on YouTube. And we try to stream it to Instagram too, but YouTube is the most reliable, so go there.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Nothing, just listening, laughing. So she's like, you know, my mother has an opinion. She was brave enough to share that opinion with Charles.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
And I'm like, yeah, they had a big argument about cleaning up. Man, Charles really wants those counters clean because remember he almost disowned his own daughter in the first episode. He's like, remember when I came home and the house was dirty, she's like, I cleaned the kitchen dad. He's like, no, you didn't not enough. Don't Charles Oakley's countertops, clean them off.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Your mom doesn't want to clean the kitchen. Just say it. Your mom doesn't want to clean the kitchen and Charles Oakley is too rich to argue about it. And you're like, clean the kitchen or we're not going to support you. And she's like, I'm not cleaning the kitchen. I'm the mother. And she's like, okay, well, he's not going to support you now. And she's like, what the hell? You have five houses.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
She's like, all you had to do was clean the countertops.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
You know, when my meemaw passed away, my mom, one of her greatest angers that it was hard for her to let go of was that my grandma would... come into the kitchen after this big, long dinner, and she would insist on doing dishes. And my mom was like, I don't want you to do dishes. Stop it. Just go relax. Because my meemaw insisted on taking the iron pan. What is it? The cast iron pan.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
The cast iron pan and scrubbing it all the way clean. And my mom would spend like months getting this thing built up with all the shit you have to do on those things. And then she insisted. She's like, no. this is clean and this is the way it's going to be. I'm not eating out of a dirty pan, Rhonda. I'm not doing it. And that was one of the things my mom couldn't let go of in the end.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
So Angela says, you know, and I take care of my family financially and that comes from Charles. So, and Britt's like, Yeah, I get it.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Yeah. And she has a middle sister, Cher, and her older sister is Tiara. What a name of three sisters. Brittany, Cher, and Tiara.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Yeah, which we find out later is kind of bogus. So then, not that they didn't take it hard, but that this is the reason that they're not talking. She's like, she died because my dad died of a blood clot. It's like, I think something's missing here. So then now they walk on and they're talking about the party. There's going to be a big party. It's going to be in a bank vault.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
And Angela's even going to include Shamia, even though they got off on the wrong foot. So then we see the flashback to them arguing and Shamia being like, oh, whatever. I'm cool with your 90s nose. It's like, whatever, Flava Flav.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Yeah, as always. Use the ticket links from our website because they are the actual ticket links. Don't just search tickets because you'll get StepHub or some bullshit where they'll try to charge you $5 million. Yeah, there's like Vivid Seats.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
And now she's going to make it the biggest storyline in the world. You're trying too hard. You're a try hard. You need to like find something else to do. You're exhausting. Yeah.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
So she's like, all I see in my mind when she's talking like this is like, stop elder abuse. You know, those bumper stickers. I'm like, yeah, stop, stop it. Leave us alone. We've worked hard. We went to war this generation. We did.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
So basically she's like, yeah, I've watched a show and Kenya thinks she can just be snobby to anybody, but I'm going to take her down. And she kind of did the end. God, I hate when bad people win. I hate it. I mean, Kenya kind of took herself down because, you know, she went too far as usual, but still this girl was the impetus. Impetus. Get out of here, impetus.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Oh, Bueller, I didn't call saying that to you. Bueller just walked out of his town between his legs. Bueller's like...
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
We Beyonce, girl. Okay, we're not Beyonce-ing you. Okay, here we are with Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 16, Episode 4 of The Vault. On the plane, on the way home, I was watching this and there was a teenage kid sitting next to me and very Lachlan-esque, like string bean kid or whatever. He was listening to Star Wars soundtracks, like all of them. I mean, he listened to a lot of Star Wars.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Yeah, I like a song just telling you to sit down.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
I like one that's just like, sit down, you fat bastard. Your feet are swollen. You had too much salt today. Sit down, you fat bastard.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
So then Shamia's sister comes, Tawana, and this is so us, by the way. I was like, was this produced by Watch What Crappens? Because they go and have this beautiful, they do this whole camera set up by the pool, and Shamia's ready to To give America her new song, Don't Dance. Sit down instead, you fat, sweaty bastard. And Tawana's like, I can't wait to hear it.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
And then it's like... Fucking leaf blower.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
And then at one point, Shamia's like, I'm just gonna door dash some olive oil. Hold on a minute. I'm gonna try an Instacart.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Music has always been very important to Shamia, but Shamia hasn't always been very important to music, is basically what I got from this scene. But I wish her luck with her new solo.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
So she's decided she's going to apologize to Angela because it was not nice to go after her terrible physical appearance. And she should be going after her soul, like most people, you know? She wants to be like more Death Eater and less like Joan Rivers, you know?
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
So she's going to make this up by door dashing or Instacarting some olive oil and somehow turn this into a prop, which to me is doing a lot of things I really don't like, which is multiple singles. Olive oil humor. Just bad props.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
It's going to get more expensive. And at the end of this scene, Tara, it's so great! And at the end of this scene, she's like, oh, I hate that damn leaf blower. Maybe I'll buy the house next door, too, so they can't do that anymore. And it's like, oh...
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
That's it. There's blood on this dance floor, okay? And we're going to clean it up.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
I kept looking at his phone. I was like, wow. And he was like rocking out. He was like beating his fingers to it. He's like, yeah, fucking yeah, fucksie, fuck yeah, Star Wars. And he was watching my Real Housewives of Atlanta. I had the captions on so we could watch it. I think this is the first time this man has been exposed to Housewives.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
So then we go over to Portia, who's at a WeWork or something, pretending she has a whole building dedicated to Portia's line. Now, I was a little worried because they keep calling her line pamper. And I was like, that's taken. You know, because I was like, who wants to have a line named after Pamper? It's like, come on now. But it's called Pampered. Pampered with Portia.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Pampered. Let me see. Pampered, pampered, pampered, pampered by Porsche is the first one. So, you know, Porsche serious. She at least got the first Google search. It's pretty good.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
But the next one for me is Pampered Tales, which... Oh, I get Pampered Auto Care and then Pampered Chef Stoneware and then Pampered Chef Pizza Stone.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Oh yeah. She's like, could somebody straight out of my hair? That'd be nice. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
He was trying not to laugh, but he watched that whole episode. So I'm proud of Real Housewives of Atlanta. You know, you're reaching out, you're reaching out across the aisle to children, children from Texas and who are now love you.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
god i love porsche i was hoping there'd be like a moment like that nope nothing so no you it looks like you found you found your you found your whale yeah i got some laughter uh you know at the screen but i also just like the idea of real housewives of atlanta in this kid's mind playing to the theme you know to themes of star wars galaxy far far away i know something about carol's ugly
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
, , , , ,, P. P. P. P. P. P. gener ac ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag G P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P C laст...h...h...h...h...h...h...h...h...h...h...h...h...h...h...w...h...h...h...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w......, P was...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w...w... w...w... w... w... w... w... w... w... w... w... w a... w a... w a... w a... h,
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Oh, hello, everybody, and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Eel Broth. I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben. Hi, Ben.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
My God, whatever happened to the poetry of violence? I mean, gee.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
But this is really bad. But this is... Sorry.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Welcome back to the news guys, am I right? Waffle news, welcome. This is also why sometimes Kenya just, if you don't know how to take Kenya, this scene could have gone very differently if this was someone else. Because Kenya's like, wait a minute, you're saying Mark? I'm spelling his name because I don't want to say his name. Oh, so Mark, okay, so you're saying he was abusive?
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
And she goes, well, I've had some situations. And she goes, were there physical threats? And she's like, yeah, I have a restraining order. Do you have proof? And she's like, yeah. I'm like, Kenya, I mean, Kenya, to a lot of people, I think that could sound like Kenya's kind of questioning the veracity of these statements. But she knows how to take Kenya. And she's like, no, no, yeah.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
He threatened me. He fully threatened me in court. And she's like, you know, we were in court and they actually held him in contempt and he threatened to kill me. And she says, unfortunately, he can't see the girls right now because of the threats towards me. And the judge awarded her a restraining order. So that's why she has the bodyguard.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
I will not have people misbehaving in a wine barn.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
And so he said, if I don't get to have the business, I'm going to close everything. And you wouldn't have anything without me.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
She can't do it just with, you know, the the other half of the cast. So she's like, okay. So she's like, well, am I doing the right thing? Because I put 400K into this. This is my daughter's college fund. And Mark is being evicted from his Brooklyn place I read today. So he's not going to be much help. Not that anybody expected him to be. I actually like this moment. Yeah, it was nice.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
She's like, no, you're doing the right thing. And Kenya's like, tear, tear, tear. She's like, you're doing the right thing. Don't worry about it. All you have to do is open it at some point.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Well, I have to say, it brought me back to a lot of Star Wars music, and all of it had better vocals than Drew's song from this episode. This is a funny- What is Drew even doing? Drew will walk into a studio, and they'll play one song, and she's singing something else. Or she'll talk the lines. She'll be like, and then I pass him by. What are you doing? Can you sing the songs?
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Can you sing one note out of these songs, please, ma'am?
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
I was like, she's trying so hard. One of the most interesting things about this episode is that it's kind of turned people on revenge porn. Now people are like, fuck yeah, what's wrong with revenge porn? Bring back Kenya. Yeah, I was totally on Kenya's side about this. Let's riot in the streets, there's revenge porn. And now they're like, yeah, what's wrong with revenge porn? Who cares?
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Because this girl is so fucking terrible. And she is terrible.
Watch What Crappens
#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
It's like, congratulations, you're a terrible sister. and you're a terrible real housewife. We don't know about wife yet because we haven't gotten that far into the show, but it's only episode four and you're already a terrible housewife and a terrible sister. I mean, that's a lot.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Good, darling. We just arrived back in our homes from Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. What a weekend. Such a great time out there, you guys.
Watch What Crappens
#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Is that a mosquito virus? No, I don't think so.
Watch What Crappens
#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Yeah, she's a mosquito with the West Nile virus.
Watch What Crappens
#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
But for right now, I think it's pretty amazing. It's a miracle that, you know, and as I get older, I don't believe in miracles as much. Well, that's not your idea. but I'd like to say I don't believe in miracles as much, but I'm team twirl, me. It's been a long time.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
And you're also making Kenya look reasonable, which has not happened on this show in a very long time, where Kenya looks like the reasonable, sane person in an argument. She's like, what are you even fighting about, lady? She asked you about a wedding band.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
You're an idiot, Brett. Why didn't they fire Brett right away? Let's not even wait till that moment in the show. Or should we just wait? Should we just wait till the end?
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Thanks so much for coming. So good to talk to you. So great to hear from you. So great to hug you. We are not on the road this coming weekend, but the following weekend, we're back out. We're going to be in... Are you ready? Because this is...
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Why are they firing Grit for kind of threatening gun violence or whatever? And I say kind of because she didn't technically threaten it, but she did say like, well, I have my pistol. So, I mean, if Kenya's going to get fired for putting some boobies up there, she should get fired for threatening murder, you know? I mean, according to Married to Medicine, it's attempted assault and battery.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
So if Dr. Gregory had any say, you know, he would come out and sing his solo.
Watch What Crappens
#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
before we break for recess, I will say revenge porn is bad, but threatening gun violence is worse. So team twirl on this one. And I would like to see Kenya continue to pretend she has a beauty shop. That's open because everything that I've read says that beauty shop is not open ever. So I want to know, is this just a set piece? And she's like, I dropped 400 K into it.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
I'm like, well, you draw for more than that in the mark and you married him. So I don't, I don't know what to tell you about. I'm glad you paid for that house.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
That is the Jesus story. Jesus was basically crucified because he was talking about housewives and all that stuff. They're like, we're going to make you talk about housewives.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
the last ready well it's the last that's not really the last leg but we're going to be in boston and then detroit and then chicago chicago sold out sorry and then we're going to be in two shows in texas one in austin and then in dallas that's may 9th and 10th and then the 15th we're in las vegas we've got two new show dates we will confirm them to you once we get them
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Yeah. Okay, so let's get going. Here we go. The Vault. The episode's called The Vault. I'm calling this Bank of Trimerica.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Oh. I was like, hey, didn't she hit that girl in the knees with a bat? That was Carrie Strug.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
I don't care. I'm still bitter that all those Olympians get on cereal boxes. I'm like, what about bloggers and podcasters? Where's my cereal box?
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
And now we said it. Care about Carrie Strug. Well, you can jump. Okay. So here we are. We start with Angela Britt. Walking with a mimosa. Oh, no, with mimosa the dog. Oh, and this is another reason I can't with Brit. Let the dog walk. I mean, the dog is stuck in your house all day listening to you complain about granite instead of marble, okay?
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Because your husband is too cheap to let you get the finishes you want. And now we have to watch you carry the dog. She has a baby stroller for her dog. The dog's outside. Let it walk around. And then when they sit down, she's like, okay, now you can come sit on my lap. I'm like, oh my God, just let the dog live its life.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Sure. Yeah. She's trying, she's trying to sound she, she, and she's just, she sounds kind of trashy, you know, because mimosas aren't good. And I'm sorry, I don't care what anybody says mimosas and everyone's like, it's the healthy drink for bread. It's the healthy alcoholic drink. Just pour fucking vodka in your cocoa puffs. Like the rest of us. It's fancy ass drink. Yeah.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Well, if your name was champagne, that would work.
Watch What Crappens
#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Otherwise it really has no, it's like, otherwise people, it's like a, it's just like a strange assessment.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Sometimes it's sunny, but I prefer clouds.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
But for now, that's where they are. Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, Las Vegas. So go over to watchwhatcrappens.com for your ticket links and calendar. And also, that's where you'll find links to our Patreon, which is where you find our White Lotus No recaps, as well as our videos, like we're on right now. And every day that we're not doing a live show.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
Okay, so they're catching up, you know, and Angela's just working so hard because she bought five damn houses to redo at the same time.
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#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica
She's like, So Britt tells, they talk about how much they love Home Depot.
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#2710 RHOSLC S5E18: Let’s Talk About the Huzzzbands
Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?
Watch What Crappens
#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I haven't really cared that we haven't met Cass. That hasn't really bothered me too much. But now I want to meet Cass because I love that Cass is like, Bezos is here. We're fucking out of here before I beat the shit out of that little bastard. Go.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
The point is that she's like playing, playing checkers, playing checkers with old men in the park or whatever. So, Andy's like, well, you know, I do remember talking to you before we started filming this season and the H word was used in relation to gas. Hoover? No, the H word. Oh.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Bezos' favorite meal, halibut. God, Cass wants to kill him. What is the H word?
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Yeah, I love that they showed the clip where Jenna thought she was whispering and she's like, yeah, Cass can't come on the show. She'd be canceled. She'd be canceled in two seconds. So Andy's like, okay, well, Lila from Lalo says, hey, on Watch What Happens Live, you hinted that you might already be married. What's up with that? You already got married.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Yeah. All right, let's move on. I'm bored. So, Cy, have you apologized to Povit for comparing him to an animated fish? She goes, no.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Well, you know, I know that he's thinking about it. And we spoke about it again two days ago. I said, can I have a daughter? He said, no. Can we name the daughter Sai? He said, I'm not naming my daughter after a bipolar bitch. So, you know, I'm working on him. We're getting there, you know.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
HERS is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I mean, listen, never call a woman a bitch, but you're really bleating one out over this one when you were also not nice.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
so jessel i think she should just say he should absolutely not call a woman a bitch and that's the end he should just apologize for that and say i don't like you and i don't appreciate what you did but i'm sorry for calling you the b word how about asshole can we just go with asshole thanks yeah asshole that's all you had to say is she's an asshole so jessel's like but it's something that's like really awkward for me it's not that it's like apples apples um which by the way which does remind me i do have to bring my iphone to the apple store
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
You know, I did ask him to apologize and I thought it would work this time because I actually did it as my avatar on my new phone. I was a dinosaur and I said, Povit, please, please apologize to Sai for calling her bipolar bitch. All right, it's not going to work, okay?
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
The moment he learns to go poo-poo outside, we'll start working on the next trick, Ant. And he's like, okay, so Raquel, let's talk about your mom. How'd the visit go? And she's like, okay, well, did she come to see you yet? She's like, no. Okay, well, last time we saw you set up an iPad. Oh, my God, girlfriend, tell me about it. Roughest time of my life. That's basically a gigantic iPhone.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Hold on, I would like to add some more scandal to this, Andy.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
We haven't FaceTimed because I haven't figured out how to set up her iPad, so... Well, you're right. The ratings just, I'm sorry, did everybody hear that breaking? It was the glass ceiling crashing. Okay. So with all due to the other woman, it seemed like you were being extra lesbionic in front of her mom. And then we see them, you know, making out, all making out in front of the mom.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And so I was like, wow, I called it. I called it out. You know, I said, stop making out with each other, you bunch of finding Nemo bitches.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Well, it was 99% of the season. I mean, that's what we got. Yeah. Although, I just say, just focus on the last episode, okay? Let's get in and out. All right? In and out, guys.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
yeah so they talk about this for a long time and he's like so did you have any conversations with your mom after the visit um none texts okay we can only converse over apple products and unfortunately that has been a stumbling block andy so okay well i would like to remind everyone my intention is for everyone to answer with more than a yes or a no Okay, that would be great. Okay.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Okay, you're doing it again. You're doing it again, Rico.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
okay well let's switch gears i'm sleeping so we heard sy say she couldn't stand jenna right who else heard that who heard that and eric's like um you did say things like that so i mean just admit it sy like you did kind of say it okay twisty okay twisty word lady and sy's like i never said i hate jenna yeah but like i never heard the word hate i mean you didn't say hey yeah well i definitely
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I mean, you know, listen, it's just like shoes when you're trying to push glass through a wall. It's just not for me. All right, it's not for me.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
It's so funny seeing this set up in the reunion because literally every single fight has been started by Brent and Aaron. But of course, they're going to let Aaron off the hook and pretend that she's a fucking saint because Brent's in more trouble. But yeah, every single thing was started by this lady. So, Jenna and Brynn kind of start speaking over each other about it.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And Andy's like, well, did you think watching the episode when you denied singling Brynn out? What did you think about that? And Jenna was like, oh, I just felt, oh, God. I just felt so bad. I just felt so bad, Andy. I mean, just crushing down inside. Just terrible.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Yeah, and just laid it out flat. And then, of course, Brynn's just crying over there. Like, she's just been victimized one too many times. So we come back from break, and Cy's like, Brynn, what did I do to make your life so miserable?
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on your bravs. I'm Ronnie. That is Ben. Hello there, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. So exciting we get to do Roni in...
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
What did I do? What did I do? I don't get it. Like, I made your life hell.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I screamed at you once, and I made your life miserable from going, well, now it was five weeks nonstop. Okay, did you ever see us talking shit about you? No.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And then he's like, hold on, hold on, hold on. After the first night, what did Psy do to you that tormented you for five weeks?
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
he's trying man she just can't can't hold on and so I was like it was her it was Erin it was the whole fucking thing and Erin's like I didn't say one bad thing to you not one thing I mean you can't say are you dumb to people anymore like you call me like six names six
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Yeah, I agree. And I'm not Aaron's defender on this, but yeah, I thought this was a stretch too.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And she's like, Brynn, it's not true. It's just not true. Your life is hell. Your life is hell.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
me in new york right now for the golden crappies so hello new york city uh everybody come see the crappies friday night on broadway the town hall it will be at 8 p.m also we have streaming tickets available that's always a party big chat room everybody goes crazy and that's a good time so join us for that
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Well, we also saw Brynn create issues with you, Cy. And then we saw her try to create issues with you, Jessel, and telling Jessel you said she was a basic bitch. And then we see a flashback of Brynn going, Well, I'd be shocked when I asked Jenna if she thought you were a basic bitch.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I love you. So Andy's like, so are you seeing a pattern here, Brynn? And Jenna's like, yeah, there's like a string of the pot. But, you know, I think that it starts to hurt.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
How do I even do that? I don't even remember. Oh, I moved the mic over. I must've touched it. God bless it.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Also, we will be in Salt Lake City in Denver the following week on our Mounting Hysteria Tour. Thanks to Elvis Duran for having us on their show. They're so great. They were so nice to us. So nice. We're going to go talk to someone else. Is it a surprise who we're supposed to talk to later? I'm excited, actually.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
They just told you, they just played a clip where you fucking blatantly lied about it. What are you talking about?
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And then he's like, wait, hold on, hold on. I want to hear from Jenna. Guess why? She doesn't really have much to say, but she is in a bathrobe. Mother, take over.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And Aaron's like, I was so fucking pissed off at you for turning that into something that was so gross that wasn't gross. Like it was innocuous. No, I mean, yes. Look, friend's a liar, but it doesn't. Two things can be true. And Aaron is also a liar because Aaron was like, oh, my God, you guys, she's so rich. But then her car breaks down and then she doesn't pay me back for an Uber.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I mean, what do you think you're insinuating? You know, so I'm not team Aaron on this one, but I'm not. God, it's just so nice. I am the fence.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
You know, it's like everything that comes out of my mouth. It was just light and silly.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
No, answer the question. How did she say it? Be truthful. And Jess was like, I am being truthful, Brynn. She told a story and I'm telling you. No, she's sitting on my green couch.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
There's balls like literally everywhere. And then she was like, oh my God, is Jenna going to do the show? And Andy's like, okay, I don't want to relitigate everything here because frankly, it was boring enough the first time. Didn't she insinuate that she was having money problems? And Jessel goes, no, not in my opinion, no.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Yeah, we've been waiting. We've been waiting like a decade to talk to these people and we're finally going to meet them. Well, we know them, but talk to them, talk to them. Anyway, later, we'll tell you tomorrow. And then we'll be on Watch What Happens Thursday night after Southern Charm. We'll be the bartenders. So join us for that. That's going to be so much fun. Ben, tell me everything.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And then so we see a flashback to 44 seconds ago, Jessel going, I think the story can be taken at that, yes.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And Aaron's like, it was me. It was about me. And we see a flashback of this, of Psy reading the text.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Invisible, odorless, it sucks the very life out of you before you even have the chance to realize it. I mean, it's also basically a silent fart, which I think is where we're at here with the brain.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
You'll get sleepy before you even know you had a leak. Me. Carbon monoxide.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And she's like, no, the words you're saying never happened. It never happened.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And you said text referring, referencing Pixar. And that's the difference between, what the fuck are you talking about? This is the word. I forgot about this moment. I don't think carbon monoxide is on the periodic table, is it?
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Brin, get it together. Even I know that and I'm dumb as hell.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And I'm so smart. I've referenced periodic tables. Poor thing, you know.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Investing involves risk. Acorn Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash Kravins. Andy's like, well, Bryn, so far the reviews are in for your performance at this reunion. And it's basically what Kyle tells me every time I ask how she's doing. Haven't ate yet. Haven't ate yet.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Yeah, we have lots of failed shit every hour of this show, every minute of this show. Just keep listening. What's coming around the corner for me? We fail constantly, and even we think that. That was sad. You need better gays. Come to think of it, maybe we need better gays.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Let's talk about your bathrobe for another hour, you know. But it was a pretty, you know, yikes. That season finale was super dark. And so here we go with a pretty dark reunion as well. But it starts out kind of fun because Jenna arrives in an iconic. It is iconic. Jenna is so mother right now. And what does mother wear? Whatever mother wants. She's in a bathrobe and a towel on her head.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Where are the better gays? Where have all the cow gays gone?
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I don't think you stuck up for Pixar so dramatically, you know? I mean, dramatic defense.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
It's not just the carbon monoxide. It's we're dumb. You make a lot of money.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Well, listen, a weapon is good when it's being used against people that you don't like. Last year, she was just too all over the place. And this year, she's laser focused. And also, she's not letting them, for lack of a better word, I'm sorry, I've been watching this show too much. She's not letting them trigger her.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
You know, she's just like, if she starts getting mad, she like thinks about it for a minute and she's like,
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Georgette Mosbacher. Those are my two words. Please put Georgette Mosbacher. Those are two words that I will leave production with. Georgette Mosbacher. Make it happen, Andy.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
i don't know if that really is a i want brin's outfit on better people if that makes any sense i want the personality of brin's outfit right now like the mrs roper robe goes to the oscars but people like who could pull it off if that makes any sense yeah yeah so uh anyway uh so i was like so what do you do what do you do and uh andy's uh uh brin goes i do your job What does that mean?
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Does it mean we have the same job or does it mean I'm carrying the show because you suck? Does it mean I'm an influencer? I don't know. She sucks. She's bad at this.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
That's stupid. Okay, so not too long. Well, I want to take a break. So they go on commercial break. And then he's like, wow, Jenna, we need that robe for BravoCon.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I still haven't mentioned what you've done, by the way. I love that they're like, where do you get your money? Where do you get exorbitant amounts of money when you seem to do nothing? Just buy the $7,000 dress. Okay.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
It has to be $1,500 to, like, work. I mean, if you just showed up in a Target robe, Andy would be like, go home.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
She just comes with a cigarette dangling out of her mouth and curlers in her hair. So you'd be like, no. A little cap on her shoulder. No. So Andy's like, okay, we're back with the glamorous Real Housewives of New York City. Let's talk about Aaron. Hold on, everybody. Talk about an innocuous gas putting everybody to sleep. See you in segment. Bitcoin. You sold my Bitcoin.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
aaron who brought mezcal to america she's like oh my god so embarrassing that no one here had heard of mezcal before she tries to save herself by going yeah but you have to understand this had been like in production for years and like when we started production i'd never heard of mezcal before so we did kind of bring it to america i just Just later. I'm like, oh, wow.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I will not talk about it. I do not. I pretend sad things do not exist in my life. Laugh and that is all. The end.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
So how much money would you make? And she's just like, I'm not going to answer. So then Andy's like, okay, well, thank you for bringing mezcal. So he's like, so, okay, blah, blah, blah. Let's skip all this because I think you've already summed it up pretty well. So Aaron's like, wow, Andy, if I tell you the amount that I lost, like, um, let's talk about abortion now. Okay.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
So that abortion storyline was really touching. And let me tell you, I got so many messages from people, um, just saying that they were like so inspired and stuff like that. And Andy's like, well, what made you share it? And Jenna's like, well, you know, it's just a big deal, especially in the climate. And I actually liked that she did that too.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I thought this was a good, um, it wasn't the most fun storyline ever, but you know,
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Jessel's just looking at her like, why is this girl coming in here acting so happy? Because, you know, Brynn's very much like nothing happened. And she's like, um, hi. Why are you being cryptic?
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Yeah. Okay, so next we go to Uba. Uba, Jessel, and Brynn all found themselves hoping for a baby. And we're pretty sure Povit owes Beyonce an apology. Take a look.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
So then he's like, so do you think you carry around a lot of shame? And she's like, yeah. And he says, do you mask your shame or your vulnerability with humor? And she's like, yeah, you know, but I suck things up and move on because otherwise I wouldn't get out of bed. And she says that this was actually someone she knew and that she has to actually see. Yeah, this is terrible.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Kind of on the regular. Yeah, this was really this is so sad.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
right now she goes i'm not being cryptic i mean it doesn't make me cryptic but you sold the show right she goes no it'll be fine right yeah i'm about to watch the 15th episode i haven't watched it yet first of all i don't believe that for one second that she did not watch the finale after making a complete ass out of herself she knows nobody's speaking to her nobody has spoken to her since then
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
yeah um so then she's like you know you know the ladies are all standing up for her in this moment and uba's crying listening to it and um jenna's like you know you've seen women that step up and stand up and stand out and they're vilified or people say they dress much too sexual and it puts the woman who's been offended on trial you know it's not as easy as just telling on the guy so andy asks uba why she's crying and she's like um you know like uh
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
It's hard if you know the person. She goes, you know, like she said, you could commit a crime. And she's like, yeah, you know, so this is all super sad. And the ladies, I think, did a fairly good job of just standing up for her in that moment, even though she's an asshole. You know, they're like, it's like nice to be able to separate it.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
i'm good and she has moved in she got rid of her apartment and she's like it was so expensive and i had water damage i was like well that's that's a good reason and um she talks about her fibroids she's going to get that taken care of and i'm just going to have to fast forward through here because some of them want to talk about fibroids i just this whole this whole show i'm like why are we taught like everything they're talking so
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
He doesn't want to be tied to you with your fucking baby so he can support your baby for the rest of his life. No, I don't blame him. It's so crazy that your ex that you want to take his sperm because he's rich doesn't want you to do it. That's nuts. I can't believe he's putting you off, Bryn.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Aaron just goes, just get his cum at some point. And Brynn's like, God, you're really on one today.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And Jenna's like, I don't disagree. Like, since when is it hard to just get a man's cum? Like, they literally cum 20 times a day, you know? And Brynn's like, well, I think I'm still holding out.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And Andy's like, Jessel, you were dead set on having a baby girl. You know that. They're putting it on pause. And then a question from Water From Bottle says, does Povet have a tapeworm? Why is the man eating all the time? So, you know, basically, he had to apologize.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And she's not going to wait. She's going to wait until she gets there. Bullshit. She's doing it so she can sit in that makeup chair and sob to herself as she watches it, getting her makeup done and act like a victim, you know? And that's exactly what she does.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
because he was being rude to her while she's trying to have a serious conversation or therapy or whatever, and he's sitting there eating. So they talk about that a little bit. And then Jessel says they basically bone once or twice a week now, because, you know.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
i know he's like we've really changed the format of this show so i'm not allowed to say do you have new boobs anymore so now i just say you look really airbrushed is it new boobs hold on one second there's someone at my door one second even though i might do not disturb off one second ding dong oh here it is our special guest new boobs welcome welcome to the stage what do you think of fried chicken do you like it as much as bond me tell us all about it new boobs
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
So, basically, Jessel's like, oh, I don't know. I mean, I think I cut my hair and I lost my weight. I lost weight. Did you put the lost weight in your pubes? Was I heinous before? I mean, was I just ugly before? Why is everyone acting shocked that I look pretty today? He's like, no, no. Brynn, what has she done to herself? Please say it rhymes with moonubes.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I mean, yeah, you did more and then ran out and got an Uber. She's like, what are you talking about? I do Botox and filler. And Andy's like, wait, are you saying she didn't pay? Like she ran out in the dark of night? And Fran's like, no, she didn't pay. And Fran, just shut up. Like, you're in so much trouble for your bullshit and your lies and your slander. Can you just be quiet?
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Like, do yourself a favor, man. And she's like, no, she didn't pay, Fran. And Jess is like, are you absolutely insane? You think I didn't talk to her about what our agreement was? You think I, I mean, and Aaron's like, did you post about it? She's like, yes, we did a video together. It's on her page.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Is that the period? Here's the only answer you need. None of your fucking business. How about that? Can we just start saying that? How about none of my fucking business, okay? This is my body and I can do what the fuck I want to with it, you weirdo. And by the way, you should try it. Try a little. Shotzi Shotzi's in the head. Everybody should do it.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
So Jessel, you know, they go on and on about this. And now they're kind of trying to insinuate that she's trying to lie. But I just didn't get it. I didn't think she was. So he's like, OK, moving on. So what was your reaction to your new boobs that you got? She's like, God damn it, Andy. OK, well, let's talk about the conversation by the pool.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
So we see where Brennan, Cy, and Aaron are talking by the pool about Jessel's boobs.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And Jessel's like, I was really disappointed. I mean, two steps forward, five steps back, in my opinion. Well, I want to apologize for that. She goes, uh, Sly says, I want to apologize. And Brynn's like, also, it wasn't the love of your life.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Yeah, this is really bad. And Brynn's like, I'm sorry. And she's like, no, fuck you for one second. Let me talk. You know, I had to sit there. I was destroyed. And I called Uba. And I was like, did I say that? Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Fact check, Brynn. Check your fucking facts. And Brynn's just like...
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
She's like, first of all, I'm so sorry. And there's no sorry. I mean, it's horrible. But when I watched it back two days ago, I was literally like, oh, my God, it wasn't that conversation.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Yeah, and she's like, well, I was sitting there with Aaron and Sy being like, I miss Aaron and Sy. Like, I miss being friends with them. And it's, like, not a bond. And she goes, yeah, because you have a bond talking shit about me.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
all those needle coffins and jenna's like yeah i'm just i'm just so upset even sitting next to her you know and i didn't know that wasn't true and like you put something like that on national television i mean wow gas would kill you and you know you don't defend it you don't need to say anything just apologize and be quiet and you know and i was like wow where is this jenna god put that in a bathrobe and watch her go i loved it yeah she was like and she was like because
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Yeah. And Brent's like, but I didn't know. I'm sorry. And she goes, yes, you did. Yes, you did know. That's fucked up. I was like, whoa. Well, Jenna finally came out to play. That's nice. It only took two years, but you're welcome to be here. I mean, damn.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
So next week is going to get real crazy, I guess. Because next week they're going to get into the real meat and patatas. Everybody, thanks so much for being here. We will see you Saturday night at Town Hall for the Golden Crappie Awards. If you can't be there, stream it. Tickets are available over on watchoutcrappins.com. Go listen to Traders Recaps on Patreon.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Thanks for being here on video on Patreon. We love you guys. And watch us on Watch What Happens Thursday night after Southern Charm as bartenders with Patricia and Austin. We love you guys.
Watch What Crappens
#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Do not believe you, ma'am. Do not believe you. So then, uh, we go to Aaron and Uba and Aaron's like, oh, I'm sure we're going in with like hopeful resolve, right?
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
So then we go watch Brynn sob, because she's watching it on her phone. They're doing her hair, and she's like, oh, my God. She's watching everyone's interviews, and Brynn's saying, come to think of it, Erin's saying, yeah, Brynn accused Uba of, you know, saying this stuff about her when she knew that Brynn had been sexually assaulted.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And then Brynn told me, but come to think of it, maybe she didn't clock it. And Brynn's just like, oh, my God, I'm so betrayed right now. And then we see Psy saying, not clocked. Yeah.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And isn't that wild that that's what she says? She's like, oh, my God. So now they're editing this to look like we all have to feel sorry for Uba now. Yeah, because you tried to ruin someone's fucking reputation for literally no reason.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
So, you know, Andy comes to Uber's room. He's like, what's your vibe today? Yeah, you already said that. So what do you think? What do you think Bryn's going to be like today? And Uber's like, oh, my God, very delusional, Andy. And he's like, well, we'll get into it all.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
So Jenna comes out in her bathrobe and her towel around her head.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
C3 Prego. She's like all, she's all gold, like C3 Prego. I liked it. It looked good on her. C3 Prego. Yeah. She looked cute. So Jenna's like, yeah, we're definitely giving a glam moment. Did I say that out loud?
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And she comes out in kind of a Mrs. Roper goes to the Oscars kind of an outfit. It's like this huge sparkly caftan that's all feathery. And this wasn't a great choice.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
So Jaisal, did your non-romantic, completely cheap-ass husband get you anything for your birthday, for your anniversary? And she's like, actually, yes, it was very romantic, Andy. He got me an iPhone 16.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
It came pre-installed with an app to find the nearest fried chicken locations. And I can't say I've ever felt more loved. Thank you for asking.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
cannot be stated enough. I-C-O-N. You are an icon. And she's like, okay, yeah, I get it. But you gotta take off the sunglasses.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
So then Psy. Yeah, Psy looks good. Aaron Spragos, you know, she's wearing Bottega. And he's like, I'm assuming it's not from their maternity line. She's like, no, people really had to squeeze me into this dress, Andy. So it was great.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
all right hi everyone hi hi hi so he says hi to everyone he goes okay before we begin i just want to see if anyone wants to set any intentions for the night just stop with this i can't let's set an intention all of you die that's that's what they're all thinking at their evening here's my intention for that bitch to get what's finally coming to her
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
It keeps saying it's going to do it overnight, but then it says it didn't download it. It's really frustrating, Andy.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And Aaron's like, um, I'm, like, hopeful that we get to a place of understanding. Because, like, okay, well, Aaron's really sucking the air right out of the room. Okay, so, Uba, what's your intention? She's like, I'm okay. I'm really happy to be here with everybody. That's it. And he's like, okay, Brynn, Uba, you guys haven't spoken since the title shoot, right?
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Oh, my God, those sirens are really coming hard. God, New York. Those are hard sirens, New York City. New York City doesn't fuck around with their sirens. Go get them.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I don't know how we haven't been arrested. We are being so loud in these rooms. We just spent an hour and a half screaming our faces off as Drayton Kyle. And now, you know, it just keeps going. I'm sure the neighbors love me over here. Anyway, so you guys haven't spoken to each other since the reunion or since the title shoot, right? And she's like, yeah. Well, I want to get started.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
Thanks for the lengthy answer. They're both like, no, no.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
And then I think you left the party. And she's like, oh, I mean, come on. And he's like, please take off your sunglasses. She's like, oh, OK. I guess I. OK, Andy. Well, look, it's not because of you. We'd gotten stopped seven times on our way out. She just wanted to go. And he's like, and Uber goes, you were the seventh person. Sorry. It's over for you. Just, you know, Bezos had just arrived.
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#2709 RHONY S15E016: Liar Liar
The party was going in a different direction. You know, we're having problems with our prime account. I mean, why say one day if it's really going to take three? That was her question.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
What's up, man? Are you excited about the Val? How are you feeling?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Brittany, it's season two, do your roots. How is this the first thing we see in Britain? Brittany, you're still a damn mess. But you're better than Janet, because Janet looks like Janet's at some banking convention in the Midwest. Like, who dressed Janet?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Well, it's better than my friend who designs comforters. I'm wearing a Dubai on the TV. And Michelle Lally is like, oh my God, I hate both of you. I'm wearing. Rob Reiner gave me this top. What are these people?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Krappens commercial.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Well, you got a thong with the baby wipe.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
It's a new Moby Dick for Brittany. Zach, the new Moby Dick for Britney. Zach is wearing a tank top that's got like Real Housewives of Orange County cutouts in it.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
And a new tattoo sleeve that makes... Wait. Oh, no. Is this a party where he looks like he's been run over by a car? What's happening?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Yeah, but it's only him, and then she's got some on her elbow, but no one else has any of that on them.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Oh, well, this I think is a baby shower because look, they have this balloon arch thing back here with like purples and pinks and then like some kind of big balloon here. So do you think this is like a baby shower? Yeah.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Oh, I don't know. Well, don't they have to make up? Well, she's not in any of these scenes, so maybe not.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Oh, so is this a party? I guess this is, they're all dressed up in something. Race car?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Okay. So this is the wacky fun and games part. They're having a group dinner and Chris was like 20 bucks to snort wasabi. So Luke does it, which is not his $20. And he was like, they're $20, you know, trying to win the family.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Oh, probably. Cause at the very end is Brittany and then Zach. And so we don't see Jack's. We do see a new douche nozzle right here with his head. We only get the back of his head here. Yeah. The comb over is comb overing. And then we, this girl's new, right?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Yeah. Um, now the big worry here is that Jax has come out of the closet with his Coke addiction, you know, right in time to promote his new podcast and the season of the show. And I, I cannot feel for Jax. I'm sorry.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
I think that might be Nia with a strange angle. Oh, okay. Well, that would make sense. She's sitting next to Jesse. Let's see. She doesn't look like Nia. I could be wrong.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Yeah, I think this is Nia, this head right here. But let's see. Yeah, I think so.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
you're mean to my friend i think you're toxic i think you're a narcissist and i'm happy i don't have to deal with you well this well damn who's that lala lala coming in oh this is lala oh jesus why are they doing this come on man your show got canceled go away stop the fucking lala
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
You would think it's for my daughter, but it's... Because he's mean to her friends. He's a misogynist, which is not inaccurate. It's just that it's Lala.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
He's like, hi, I've done ayahuasca, which is why I'm wearing this necklace, and I have still healthy hair for my age, so fuck off.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Also, I like that he's getting told off, but you can see through the reflection of his sunglasses what he's concentrating on, and it's her rack.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
And just the boobs. Nothing but boobs. He's like, all I hear are your boobs. Yeah.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
okay as someone with a coke addiction a while back i know that it sucks i know that it's hard but jack still sucks and i'm not going to give him a break just because he has a coke addiction but good for him for working it through and stuff if he ever does that um but jack still sucks okay here's jack's yeah right now yeah on our screen i mean we're really wearing white
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Yeah, he's done the show Walking Dead. He plays a zombie in Walking Dead. He's got a never-ending job where he walks around and he's like...
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
And look at Jackson, look at the look he's giving. He's posing with his head down and his hands in prayer motion, and then he's slowly bringing his head up. Like, guys, it's me, Jackson. He's somber. Getting served, sucker. He's been through things.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
She's got a big-ass knife for it, whatever it is. But I like whoever's eating with her is having a bowl.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
And is there cake here on the side? I love this. These people order like me. You know, it's what you get when Uber Eats will go like to five places. And also I'll have cake. And also a bowl. But don't worry, I got my own steak knife. Because in LA, they don't give you that shit. I got my steak knife.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
She's like, and by the way, I was stupid. Wait, hold on. Let me stop saying this. Which way is it pointing?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
But see, this is what I'm saying about Jax. He's like, I'm going to do a very touching drug addicted video.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
in my jackson studio city hat but also i'll also promote my bar at the same time it's gonna go viral so i'm gonna promote my bar he's just so i just don't believe a thing from this guy uh you're in love with the man you could become you're in love with the man that you are jacks okay you just think that nobody else is on board and you just need to do the right things to make them get on with it
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
And we know this is fake because it's fully charged. That would never be Jax's camcorder. It would always be like blinking red, you know, like must charge, must charge. He would be snorting the battery charge out.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Michelle. The infamous male on Bravo. I'm going to cry into a camcorder so people believe it. Also, look, he doesn't have the tattoo here. Oh, well observed.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
I love you. I love you, Jerry. He's like the human brain. He weighs eight pounds.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Well, I don't blame her. Michelle admitted that she cheated on me. First of all, you didn't cheat, Jesse Lolly, my asshole. You didn't cheat. Yeah, come on.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
I cheated on him a hundred years ago when this dress was first made. Nailed it. Cheated on him. Okay, let's see who she cheated with. that she cheated on me.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
What the hell? So now you're going to call her a hoe on TV? Oh, that's Danny. So he's saying that she's like a hooker. Wow. I have evidence that she's sleeping with a billionaire for $1,500 a night. Who the fuck tells some walking dead extra their business? I want to see your evidence, sir. I'm not telling some under five zombie what I'm paying somebody to sleep with them. Bullshit. Bullshit.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
She's like, we read books go together. So suppose now if she is getting $1,500 a night, I mean, good for her. That's a lot of money. Goddamn.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Yeah, Miami Vice. But here he is in his all white and his seemingly full head of hair. Ha ha ha. Turn around, sucka. So Jax, looking right into the camera and showing off. Did he always have these hand tattoos? He didn't always have these, did he? I think those are new. I don't know. I think those are relatively new. Well, here he is. He still can't grow full facial hair.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Did you not keep me? Whoa. So he said, she, and she throws a full damn. That's a full glass. That's a lot. That was like a liquid.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
That's why I always wear his headbands. Cause he gets so many drinks, so many drinks thrown in his face. So this is on a vacation, right?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Well, also Janet's trying to fuck with Kristen. Like Janet's never watched. She shows you, you are barking up the wrong tree, ma'am coming for Kristen. I hope Kristen ruins this chick's life for all the shit she's been trying to do with Kristen. Now I point this out. I feel like in every.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
episode we do of every show now but these eyebrows stop this trend has to stop you guys stop magic markering on your eyebrows you look crazy and they're all doing it even jacks's are like this now stop it you look nuts okay so she's saying that uh jason is going out without his wedding ring meanwhile janet is dressed like a catering napkin like who folded her janet is so happy in this shot look at her she's like i did it i finally got to kiss my husband
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Okay. So who are these two bald guys?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
She's like, I'm the one he told. I'm the one he told.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
I am disgusted. Does Janet have one outfit that's not terrible, please? I'm not even a fashion gay. Like, I don't sit here and stare at everybody's fashions, but come on, you guys. Like, I live in the Valley now. I'm going to need some more effort put in here. And I'm an old Navy gay. And even I'm like, girl, come on now. Why? And this, I don't expect much from the men though, I have to say.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
He looks like the old guy who dances for Six Flags. You know, those old commercials. Or like Michael Darby.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Oh, there's a background of Danny getting wasted and handsy and inappropriate. Oh, so now she's like, well, we knew that would happen. How could you get wasted and alcoholic and inappropriate, Danny? And he's like, it's because every time I go try to read a book, they're all red. And it just makes me want to drink and get fancy with somebody. I don't want to know what's happened with Mexico today.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Brittany, there's no other option. So Brittany is hugging Zach, who's sitting down, and she puts his boobs in his face, and she's like, come here, hug mama. She's like, hey, you got your boobs in, you got your face in my boobs. Where else are they gonna go, Brittany? Your boobs take up half the room.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
So, you know, he's still got that part of youth about him. So he's there. The next shot is Kristen dressed like curtains in an old theater, like saloon theater that are closed.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
I think they're going to Mexico for July 4th. And so she just put that red, white, and blue thing in there. That's my guess. That would make sense. And he's like, I'm not going to wear red, white, and blue, but I am white, so I'll wear teal or like a dark aqua. And I'm halfway there.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Brittany's like, I'm going to dress like they dress in America, like a pumpkin.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Good for her. Jasmine telling off who I'm assuming is Janet. Cause she says you give Karen energy, right?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Well, you know, he's in some Dockers and a pink shirt, you know, this bottom button kind of unbuttoned, but tucked, you know, I know the feeling, I know the feeling Luke, but you know, he's Luke, so that's good. And then we get Michelle. Wow. I'm wearing sunglasses.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
. . . . .. a, P P P P P P P P P,實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a Laboratory a
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
. . . . .. a P P P P P P P P P P P P,實, ac , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , in P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
And then we've got Zach with a fan that he's clinking shut like Kenya Moore.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
. . . . .. a, P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P,實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a Laboratory a For some reason, it's Crazy Christian, not Crazy Janet. Oh, Janet's going to be a victim this year. Now, who's this? Hey, there's that new girl.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens! I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben. Hi, Ben. Hi, how are you? Good, how are you? You know, just making our way through the week. All that fun stuff. We've got a very special week. We are going to be in D.C. and Philly this week. We're so excited. In D.C., we're going to be doing Southern Charm, the first reunion. And in Philly, we're going to be doing...
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
So then on a boat, Brittany's in the captain's hat.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
And Zach looks crazy. He's making that face of the Kravitz neighbor always spying on Bewitched. What's going on over here? You're like, I can't take one more fucking second of this shot.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Oh, someone says, don't make me knock your ass out. Whoever's in an orange dress. It sounds like Michelle. Kristen, I think, says you're a fan. Oh, okay. So she's like, don't make me knock you out, bitch. And Janet says, knock me out. And she goes, you're a fan, bitch. which is true because she got into all these people by being a personal assistant to Sheena. That's where Janet came from.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
And then she just kind of like kept climbing her way until she ended up badly dressed on this show. I've never seen someone climb a ladder this high and stay in Rayon the whole time. I've got to give her credit.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Good father, great father, terrible husband.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
You are not a great father. How can you be a great father if you're a terrible husband? You are not a good father, sir. You had Brittany and your child move out of the house so you could stay there.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
yeah that's not a good father we saw we saw how hands-on we saw hands-on you were you were not you were barely doing anything over there and look at what sweatshirt he's wearing while he says that violent yeah it says violent yeah it's probably violent or something but then of course tom schwartz a little a little a little dollop of tom schwartz and the entire thing he's like yeah bro yeah man yeah yeah great dad yeah what's your what's your daughter's name again
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
I'm getting like bangs. I'm getting like upturned bangs. It does look a little more natural though, his hair. So that's good. Poor guy. He really got slaughtered over that hair. Why are they giving them prop sunglasses? None of these people own these sunglasses. It's like a photo booth.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
he's like i don't know do stuff with your daughter the valley all new season april 15th wow great we'll be there absolutely we will be i can't wait it's gonna be looks like a really good season oh yeah it's gonna be fun i'm glad janet's gonna get hers and all the men are going down damn all the men except luke look like they're going down this year All right, well, this was a fun one.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Thanks, everybody, so much for being here. We will talk to you next week, okay? Bye, everyone.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
He's also going for a skin toned lip thing, which I'm not really sure what that's about. But, you know, bless his heart. And then we get to Brittany fanning herself because, you know, they live in the valley. It's hot.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
And she looks like she's fanning herself with a waffle. Yeah. And then we go to... Then we go to these two. Oh, Janet. And what's his face? Yeah. What's his face?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Yeah. Jason seems like he's so nice, but he supports Janet. Who's an emotional terrorist. So I don't trust him either. And I guess the girls are like, let's pink. Let's get a lot of pink in. So they're doing that. And the guys are just doing things that should go with pink, but don't like he's wearing like a fall orange. Yeah. It doesn't go.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
uh she was really really really bad and and i held on to i held on to hope that she wasn't as bad as she seemed and then she was as bad as she seemed but i you know i enjoyed you know i always like i love a monster she sucks uh so then uh just basically the quality of the clothes i have to say you know sometimes in season two they get a bigger budget and come back in nicer clothes not this cast no this cast is very much like you know friday night at the cineplex odeon in you know
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
the $5 theater. And I'm sorry, I'm thinking of New York, not the Valley, but like, is this stained? Is Michelle's outfit, what is it? Is this stained? Is it used? She found it out of the closet. And she's like, well, this will do. Britney's bathing suit with the belt. And then this whole outfit is crazy. And then we go to three under four, whatever he says. What's this thing?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Yeah, these are bad. And he's doing like the faux hawk from like, what, 15 years ago kind of thing. And kind of a Quaker collared shirt, which I think is really funny because, you know, he just wants to have a million children.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
I call them Quaker collars. I don't know what they're actually called. I don't know fashion. Okay. But I call them that because Quakers wear them. And then we've got his wife. What's her face? Nina? Nia? Nia, who Ben is still convinced is evil. You thought she was evil in the first... Well, you said she would be evil, but then she turned out to be really nice.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
But will she be second season bitch power?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Well, she's the only one that looks kind of comfortable in this intro, boogying down. She looks great. She's like, oh my God, I'm not pregnant for five minutes. I'm going to enjoy this. And I'm pregnant again. By the end of this, she's like, oh, just got it back. I'm pregnant. So I have an announcement to make everybody.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
summer housing which is very exciting so while you guys wait for that we're going to do a very special bonus episode a trailer trash of the valley season two normally these are on patreon uh so if you like this kind of stuff go join patreon that's where they're at okay patreon.com slash watch it crappens it's also where you get our
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
You wear a headband and it keeps your hair dented. That's just how it goes. He's looking a little bit better this year. I like that he insisted on wearing his own pants. He's like, listen, you've already got me dressed like a magician, but I'm wearing decent pants. I make money. So then we go to this beautiful lady for the bachelor name. What's her name? Jack. How did we get her name?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Well, her exact there to start shit with everybody else. No, it's not. We'll get it in a second. But how do we not remember? God, I even recapped her on like two seasons of The Bachelor and I'm still forgetting her name. That's terrible. Okay. I'll look it up. I'll look it up. Then Kristen's like, I have sunglasses too. Also, I like music. That's why I have music things tattooed on my arm.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
She's so weird. She has a treble and a bass clef turned into a heart on her arm. But then up here, she's also got the treble clef again. Like you already got that. Are you just so drunk that you're forgetting that you're getting the same tattoos? But this time it's a heart. Jasmine. She's also got a necklace with a K and an L. Oh.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
You know, this picture that we're showing now is the logo, and it's over a shot of the valley, and this really does encapsulate the valley. Freeways. It's just freeways. This is like the part of the freeway I've almost died 20 times. It's like 10 freeways coming into one, and then they're like, oh, you're the next exit? Go over 10 lanes in five seconds.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
There's like five freeways here. There's like a million freeways.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
recaps for the end of White Lotus, which we're going to do the next couple of. We just did a catch-up recap of that. You'll find traders recaps there, airport snaps where we mock people at an airport, stuff like that. It's fun. It's also where you get the video version of this if you want to watch along as we take this down shot by shot, moment by moment, millisecond by millisecond.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Yeah, this is, uh, it's hell. It's hell. Um, so then we go to, uh, some shots in the Val.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
And here we are, people on a boat. Let's press play.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
This was a drive for sure. Hey, baby.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
that is so kristen okay so they're on a boat it's luke and kristen it's beautiful he goes hey baby and she turns around and falls she's like whoa and she falls into a ring and i love that's just so kristen to be falling during her uh proposal so he's like hey baby you want to get chicken nuggets with me for the rest of our lives seriously hey baby seriously what the
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Will you be the catch of my lifetime, baby? Who would have thought? Would you be the catch of my lifetime, baby?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
I never knew that he really would take my love of Wicked Tuna so seriously and propose while we're fishing. Who's Wicked? Who's Wicked Tuna?
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Who would have thought Kristen and Luke have the best relationship out of all? I think all of us thought that Kristen and Luke probably had the best relationship out of you two losers. I mean, you've got Jax and you've got Lolly sitting here. We knew your relationship sucked. You both seem like abusive fucking assholes. And Jax and his stupid Jax hat. Oh, my God.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
By the way, he's got fake flowers behind him that are shaped like his hat. And what's his other shirt? He's wearing his Jax's shirt and... It says something like dad, life, dad, comma, dad, life, dad, life.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Yeah, no kidding. Dad kicked my child out of the house so I can keep living there as I screwed his mother up.
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#2778 Trailer Trash Bonus: The Valley Season 2
Ew, okay, so. There is a thong. There was a girl staying at my place last night. Brittany is just making up this accent now. Nobody talks like this, okay? Nobody says no. What are you, like the first act of My Fair Lady? Nobody talks like that. And why are you wearing a blanket for a shirt in the valley? It's 900 degrees.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Have you ever seen such a juicy booty? And we cut around to the guest partying and Carl's like, hey, hey everybody, who voted for me? High fives for soft.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
If you don't want to pay for videos, you can get them for free a week later over on our YouTube. Just go find us on YouTube. We love it over there. Okay. So how are you feeling today, Ben? Good.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So Sierra sees Carl and she's like, oh my God, Carl, you should just like keep wearing your hair like that because like new gel or grease, you know, new gel or grease or whatever you put in it. Like, I don't know. Like, I like that texture. It's like you have good hair texture. He's like, oh my God.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Poor Carl. If he wasn't with Lindsay, he would have been friends with everybody. So then Carl's announcing, everybody, all right, you gotta vote between boys and girls. Boys, we got, like, some cool stuff. You know, we got costumes, and we got a hot DJ, hot DJ. All right, Frank Sinatra mix coming up next. 45-year-old DJ over here. And Lexi's like, um, the girls have boobs in a bar, so...
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
She likes cosplaying as the person she wishes was at every bar that Kyle was at until four in the morning, you know?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
She's like, Kyle, come to bed. I'm wearing my security shirt.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So now we go to Jesse's room and she's taking off her shorts and Jesse's like, oh, can I get a picture of that? Juicy booty. And then Carl's ordered pizza and wings for everybody. And Paige is in bed, of course, with Amanda and Sierra. And she's like, oh my God, what are they doing down there? Is everybody making out and falling in love? And then we cut to them. And yeah, it's pretty much that.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
It's a bunch of old, creepy fucking guys with all the youngest girls in the house.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I am kind of mad because I wanted to know the rest of her sentence.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I've been to my search history, but I've never been to me.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I wonder how come if I talk about a product, then suddenly I'm getting ads for it all over my Facebook.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah, so that's why she's dating Jesse, I guess, like the storyline, which of course is why he's doing it too. You know, I don't know how you ever trust love when you find it on TV. I don't know how you do, but they're doing it. And I think the girl's subtext there is like, wow, she's slumming it. Like here she is now with Jesse. Like what happened to the Beckham? What happened to the Gerber?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Newly's on live. So Lexi is back to, sorry, what'd you say?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So then in Lexi and Jesse's room, wherever they are, she's like, you can stay.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
My biggest fear is like not living life to the fullest. You know what I mean? Like I'd rather dive in head first and be like, ouch, that hurt.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I was like, yeah, you're young. Okay. Soon you get what we call emotional scars. Okay. And they teach you that when you touch a stove or in this example, a flaming penis, there can be repercussions. You know what I mean? So just be careful about the stoves. You're putting your hands on young lady. Don't make me come over there with my van.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
well as far as lexi goes you know she's kind of a ding-dong but i love a ding-dong and i've had this girl as my friend multiple times in my life and will always have this this kind of archetype of a girl as my friend i just think they're so fun just someone who's like i'm just gonna jump in no matter what who cares if it hurts me you know now they're the ones i pick up from jail usually at some point in their lives because they've gone crazy and put a brick through someone's windshield but
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
You're diving into a cement swimming pool with no water in it.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Oh God. And still thinks they're good to this day is like, what would Jesse Solomon do? Shut up. I wish he'd shut up.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So it's the next morning. Carl wakes up and immediately spills water. He's like, oh, God, Lindsay must be on her way back.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So Lexi and Jake wake up, or Jesse. Lexi and Jesse wake up together. Lexi. What would their nickname be? Their couple name? Lexi? That's the same thing? It's probably gonna be Jexy. Jexy, yeah.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
All right, the episode title when they break up has to be Jigset. Yeah, it will be.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And he's like, oh, you mean like in your bedroom?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
It would have been like kerosene. I mean, come on. There's something more diabolical than hot dog water. Knives, razor blades. Sierra, so they come up with their grand idea. So now they're going to get the hot dog cart water and the hot dogs. And they're pouring it into the dunk tank for the guys. So the guys see that, that they're doing it.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And Carl's like, oh, the girls are pouring hot dog water into the dunk tank. Oh, hard, hard.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Uh, yeah, he's still doing his thing. She's just so mean to me. Surely we can work it out. Biting my lip. Well, I wanted to invite everybody. I'm throwing a party, okay? I'm DJing. I'm DJing, you guys. Well, you didn't tell me about it, Kyle. All right, everybody, you can't stay here, but you have to go home. Come on, man.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I mean, if she's a dodo bird, I like her. The guys that are making me crazy are the two guys. For me, it's Wes and Jesse. Jesse especially. I already knew Wes was such a douchebag, and we got little hints of douchebag from Jesse, but Jesse's just so grody to me. He's just the worst, and he's the worst qualities in a man. That, like, charm your pants off, literally, and then be like...
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Are you jealous that there's another man coming to the house? Oh my God. And Jesse's like, uh, I'm just curious. I'm just curious. How are his teeth? How are his teeth?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So now it's time to dunk the man in the hot dog tank. It's just wacky. It's just some wackiness.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah, I didn't watch this because it was like a, you know, it's like a funny games. We're going to a dunk tank. I was like, I'm going to Instagram. Bye. Yeah, it did last 45 minutes. So I understand. I felt like it was, it was a while. So then they're going back home and, um, Paige hugs Amanda. I was like, uh, you know, you're going in the same car, right? So you don't need to hug. Shut up.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Hot dog, man. So now it's a city. Finally, we're back in the city. I kind of have been missing this when they're in the city. I love that.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
It is so nice, honey, to see people not hiding their bumps these days. Gosh, look at her bump out.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
feet on so then Lindsay debuts her new line that she says for the rest of the episode yeah the bump is like really bumping this week debuting her new thing the I'm friends with Lindsay now for no no real understandable reason except that we're probably getting a spinoff soon but all right let's talk about it let's let's know there's a reason
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I'm just going to be nice to her so that the mother of the Babadook tells the Babadook to be nice to me. I like my sleep.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So she's like, yeah, when Lindsay finally said the word she's pregnant, suddenly I liked her. It was crazy. I don't really understand why, but I was like, wow, she's my friend, my very old friend. And she's having a baby. I'm just going to be there to lean on. Well, not me, but I'll hand her a stick or something to lean on because she'll need it because she has a baby and she's old.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Very, very old. It's a geriatric pregnancy.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
It's really important that she has someone to make sure, I don't know, she's not eating sushi, drinking Drano, walking out in front of buses.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Different ways you could die. Mother of a Babadook. Sorry. Sorry. We're friends. We're friends.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Lindsay, I'm just here to support you and to tell you that no, a Nigerian prince is really not trying to give you a million dollars if you just give him your social security number.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
But wait, I think we're moving a little fast. Get your dick out of me then. How about that? How about get your dick? I don't understand when it became so crazy to expect that if you're fucking someone, they're not fucking half the town. And I'm saying that as a gay person. Our natural state, a lot of us, is fucking half the town.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So, they're talking about freezing eggs. Paige asks her if she's happy that she froze her eggs, and Lindsay's like, 100%. And I hope that they end up being an insurance policy, but I really think every woman should freeze their eggs. And then Paige is like, yeah, did you know that Craig froze his sperm? And Lizzie just looks at him like, oh my God, I'm dating.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So that's why me and Paige decided to freeze my sperm. Craig is such a liar. Paige did not decide to freeze your sperm. Why do you have to lie with everything that you say?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Page goes, correct. Correct. It's funny because Lindsay goes, um, he does know that, that, that, that. Page goes, probably not. I don't even know what you're going to say.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Um, but was it like sperm depleted? She goes, no, his sperm's fine. If anything, it was above average. I mean, they said it's the first spermatozoa we've ever seen stabbing walls. So that's something.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I was paid last year to pretend that I would walk into an old Navy. Now is not quitting time.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
That's crazy. Well, they sold out Radio City twice in a row.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
But like, if you're, if you're hooking up with someone, I don't think it's so crazy to be like, I don't want to be hooking up with you. Plus all of the other Petri dishes that you've been stuck sticking your penis in, sir. You know, I don't think that that's equal to asking for marriage. So that's where I am. I'm starting with some man race, a male rage.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
ownership of giggly squad yeah we had nothing to do with that we had nothing to do with it but i feel like a lot of good kids have nothing to do with um where they come from anyway but that's not we literally have nothing to do with that giggly squad presented by watford crappins yeah But it's cool to see that people grow that much. That's nuts.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So then we and also just like Bravo people reaching that level of success, you know, like whatever. And I don't know. I know it's not like hundreds of millions of dollars like Bethany level, but even Bethany, Bethany is one of the most obnoxious people on the planet. But that was so crazy when she did that, because just as a Bravo fan, you're like.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
oh my God, people that I watch on TV just did so well, you know, because so much of Bravo is just watching people crash and burn. It's like, you start with somewhat healthy people and then you just watch them. It's like the long road to how do they end up in prison, you know? And so to see people successful, it's like, oh my God, there's hope in the world.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Uh, so they're talking about, and we knew that this was going to happen with Lindsay, right? And we, we generally like Lindsay, I think, but we knew that Lindsay is going to be the most fucking obnoxious pregnant person in the world, which here she goes.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Oh my God, let me tell you the gender right now of that child. Not interested, okay? That child is gonna come out and be like, why? Is this a sick fucking joke? Lindsay's gonna be stamping him with hashtags, or her.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I've peed on a stick and found out the gender of your baby. Do not care. Do not fucking care.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Oh my God. I just found out what you're having, Lindsay. Another polluter.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah, I think that everybody who has a child deserves their own way to fuck up their child. They shouldn't be stuck on the way that they were fucked up as a child. They shouldn't have new, fun, creative ways to torture their children. I look at a lot of stuff within my family and I'm like, well, okay, I have this issue with my parent because my parent was horrible in my mind.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
But then you get older and you're like, no, they were actually a good parent. They were just fucked up because they had trauma from their parent. And then their parent, like my Meemaw was fucked up because she had trauma from her parents. I mean, you should have heard her stories. And I'm like, it's just this cycle. You know, I finally got the word cycle and I'm like, this cycle is just so boring.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
It's all the same shit. So I broke my cycle and now I'm traumatizing everybody else with new psychological terror. Like why rely on Meemaw's shit? That shit's outdated. New traumas, fresh traumas, everybody.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I forgot that that happened when Lindsay finally called her mom and she's like, hi mom, it's nice to talk to you. And her mom's like, well, you could call me.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
phone goes two ways because you know that meant the mom had her own thing where she's like my daughter never speaks to me and hates me and won't forgive me for things that happened as a child you know yeah i love it it's trauma everywhere cycles commercials here comes one right now
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah, let's see. And so she shoots a basketball and misses, and guess what she does when she misses? She goes.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah, so we start with this 4th of July party and Bailey is blowing up a balloon with confetti inside of it and then accidentally breathes some of it in. I mean, who does that? Who breathes back in balloon air? You shouldn't do that when there's not confetti in there. Stop breathing in balloon air. And then she's like, oh my God, I wasn't ready for that.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Your dad's also a douche. So there's that.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
He's like, this has been so much fun. This has been like amazing. So are we going to share a room this weekend or what? We're going to take it slow or are you going to let me stick it in you? And she's like, uh, He goes, yeah, do you usually move this quick with boys or is it usually slower?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
She's like, well, I don't share beds with every single guy that I just met on the first night, but like, I just want to make sure that like, we're a thing because, um, I only want to be getting to know each other.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
What does Lindsay have to do with this?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah, I like that, too. That's what I was going off about at the beginning of the episode, because he's acting like it's crazy. He's like, oh, well, it feels like I've only known you for a week. Then keep in your fucking pants, then. There's your answer. What's so weird about it? It's not as weird as you trying to bang a young girl when, you know, you have nothing going on with her.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Why is it so weird for her to not want you to bang half the world, okay?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I'm like, no, because now you're telling him, okay, let's just do whatever you want. And then once you fuck me over, then I'll deal with that when I come to it. Stick on the other stuff.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Oh no, now we get a Jesse. Now we get the Jesse ultimate fuckboy where he goes, yeah, listen, like, it's just going to be a change of pace for me. You know, stick with me, kid. I'm learning, because I'm normally not like that. Normally I just, fuck off. I'm a work in progress.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And I was like, well, you would be if you'd ever hooked up with a guy in this house because you know that's how they are. You know they don't even give any kind of warning. You're lucky you left.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah, he's doing that whole thing like, well, okay, but when I cheat on you, don't forget that I told you in front of this basketball in a trash can thing that I'm new at this and I would try it for you, but I'm not sure that I can do it.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah. He's like, yeah, people think it looks like a midlife crisis, but that's going to be a Ferrari.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So Paige comes and basically everybody's arriving and hugging and all that good stuff. And Carl sees Jesse and he's like, hey, how are you, my man? All right. Look at me. I've got legs.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So they're talking about the date and Jesse says, yeah, I went on a date and it was fun. I mean, she's like so cute.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
They're like, no, you're not going too fast at all. You fucking dingbat. Um, then Lexi's talking to Gabby. She starts, uh, Kyle, uh, sorry, Kyle, Lexi and Gabby are talking and Kyle's like, whoa, you don't have to bump out. You don't have to bump out. It's just a big thing today. Bump out. Hashtag bump out.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I love this going by the DJ oath. You know, DJs, staying sober at all times. So Imrul comes over and he's talking to everybody in the club. He's like, hey, hey, it's me, Imrul. Hey, everybody, it's me. I'm here. I don't know if you heard the, but it happened. Cause I brought a motorcycle here. That's right. I'm a badass with a penis. And he's like, Emeril's like the classic New Yorker.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
He loves to have a good time. He likes to get like, you know, it's like Casanova. It was like Casanova lived in New York city in 2024 and had like multiple partners on a given night. God.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
While we're getting to know each other, I wish Imrul would say, why are you wearing your hat above your head? And why are you struggling so hard to look like a cool 21 year old? Please let it go. You're uncomfortable to hang out with. Please just let it go.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
No, I'm sorry. That's just not true. You were fired because you were a total monster and the audience hated your ass. So that's why you were fired on your last season. So this is Kyle's rage text to Paige, the whole thing. I got it on Reddit, so thank you, Reddit.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Honestly, beyond discouraged. With Craig, too. This wouldn't be a topic today if it wasn't for him and about a dozen lies. I can't believe this is where Hannah is at three years later. I'm fucking apeshit.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
First, her telling Alex Cooper I cheated on Amanda right up until our wedding and all the pain we fucking suffered because of that podcast when it was at its peak, which I never fucking confronted her about. Now, or you. I didn't confront you about it either. Now this. You've been with her this entire time and are out there saying you wish you stood up for her season five. And now this.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
This is what you think as well? Hannah had the lowest Q rating, something illegible, the entire work, a.k.a. likability. Just ask Dave Kaplan drunk and he'll tell you. Sorry to barrage you. I was just heated in the moment. Can't vent to Amanda because she basically divorced me for potentially hurting your guys' friendship with the Spritz stuff. And I don't understand how lies keep getting told.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Yield Brovs. I'm Ronnie. Over there is the handsome and talented Mr. Ben Mandelker. Hello, Ben. Hi, how are you? Good. Everybody, welcome to the show today. It's Summer House Day. We are on tour also, the Mounting Hysteria Tour, all across America and kind of the world.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
What do you think? What do you think? I just talked for 20 minutes.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Maybe he kind of is the head of the show in that way, or at least he positions himself as the head of the show. I don't know. I think Kyle got fired. I mean, Hannah got fired because no one liked Hannah. I mean, I think that was just that's how it is.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And you know, West wants a gold medal for going into someone's room and going. Are you mad at me? He's like, good job, bro. He's like, well, she wasn't that mean. I mean, I think because we're like, cool. Well, I mean, not really cool, but she didn't abuse me again. It's a poor, poor little guy. Put a shirt on, sir. Okay, put a shirt.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And I think she's done a good job in her post summer house life of, you know, obviously she's doing she's got like three million TikTok followers or something like she's doing fine. But I think on her summer house journey was not great and it didn't end great and nobody liked her. And that's why she got fired.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And I think this text Kyle is kind of venting to, it feels like he's not yelling at Paige, but he's like venting to her like, oh, really? This is what they're going to do. And they're your friends, which I don't think is great either. So I think she has a right to be pissed off.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
like you just don't do that she's right she says kyle has his number has both their numbers so he can call he can reach out to them and not go to page yeah because kyle is very happy for does he get to yell at kyle for being a dj i mean come on and everyone's a lot he's a lot and he doesn't even own a spritz company he's just an ad person for the spritz company right
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah, and Sierra's like, yeah, and everyone needs to have allegiance to Carl. I was like, yeah, when has he ever supported me? I mean, he has never supported one fucking thing I've ever done. I like when she gets more East Coast accent when she gets mad. It's like, when have you ever said anything about my book?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So she's like, Ann, I keep your wife company while you're up there acting like fucking Diplo, please. So I like that when she's saying this, it just cuts to Kyle with his hands in the air going, yeah, yeah.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Speaking of Q ratings, here comes Danielle.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Actually, I would say you're pop-a-loppin'.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I actually feel sorry for Wes because the Internet's been so mean about his nipples. My God, are we nipple shaming? What the hell? I didn't even notice his nipples. We are.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So they come in and Lindsay's excited that Danielle's here because we've seen each other through a lot of different phases. Let's roll the clip. There was a phase when we would party, and then there was a phase when we'd be in bed texting, and then there was a phase when we made bagel bites in the microwave together. So it's like a lot, a lot of phases.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
He's like, yeah, well with that week, I really focused on myself and like, you know, I miss the house though, which is so crazy. It's not like so crazy. Like I really miss the house. Yeah. You miss your tether to fame. So yeah.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And Danielle's cracking up. She's like, I've been on the Lindsay rollercoaster for like so long and this is like the top of it. So she's in the same house with Carl and she's pregnant.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And Danielle goes, so are we doing another sponsored post with that? She goes, trust me, if I could find a way to work that in, I totally would have.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I'm not even going to have the baby in bubbling. If I found a way to have a scavenger on, I would hide the baby somewhere and let somebody find it.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Why is that baby breastfeeding from a dipstick? Um, it's called making a living, Daniel.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Well, when everyone finds out the gender, everyone's going to find out the gender, but they're going to have to wear that color option to the dinner. Oh, for fuck's sake. Sounds like a great time. We have to bring two different colors of outfits to wear to your fucking party. Lindsay, come on, man.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
It's a pain in the ass enough that you're pregnant during a summer house without making it all about your fucking pregnancy. I can't.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I like that Sierra has the most realistic reaction to Danielle. She goes, oh, hey, so what's up? I know. Did you go out with that big like room? I mean, tell me all about it, Sierra. And Sierra's like, yeah, it was me, Carl, Emeril, Gabby, Bailey, Lexi, and Wes. And we went out and Danielle's like, oh my God, I only know like half the names. This is like going back to my high school again.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And so we cut to Emeril telling everyone, yeah, like I walked in and right when I got in there, there was a sex swing. So yeah, pretty much did. And they're like shocked. And then Sierra was like, yeah, so that's our intro, play a party. So, and then somebody asked him how many times he came and we see a flashback of Wes being like, so do you come, did you get in trouble?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Was anyone being mean to you? Were there women like being mean to you and ruining your fun? Like, what was that like?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
But how did he not come? He had sex with three different people and didn't come. Was he like doing that on purpose? Or was he like Woody Harrelson, Woody Harrelsoning it where you just like never come?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah. And it's also a really long motorcycle trip. I mean, we can do all the Luke used to do it.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah. Or like you take your bags to someone else's car to bring them, but then you take the motorcycle or something to say cool. I think that it must be that. Yeah. Okay. So he comes in and we find out that he's like, well, I was going to be here last week, but I had my hands tied. Oh, literally.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
It was hard to loosen up at first after my upbringing, but God sitting a sex swing for a night really changed that. So we're going to tell you loose as a goose, ready to party guys. So then Paige and Lexi and West are coming and they're talking about their week and stuff. And Paige got a cat. She's like, I got a cat.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And she's like, yeah, I did it because my girlfriends have a cat and they were like, you have to get a cat. And I was like, oh my God, I have to get a cat. And so I got a cat. It's like, she's like the cutest thing I've ever seen. Like literally in my life. I love her so much that I immediately left her.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
You know that puppet from like Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood or whatever, where it's like the wooden, I guess they got wooden faces.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
The exasperated housekeeper on Frasier. So- But also, how do you get a kitten and then just leave it? Who'd you leave it with? I know, I was a little surprised. Like, you just got the cat. Listen, I think that if, I think if Wendy can bring babyness in here, you can bring a cat in here. Bring it on. Bring the cat.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I'm sorry, this is a recap and not really time for my own trauma, but who cares if you don't want to listen to my trauma? Fast forward three minutes. Do you know what happened last night?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Okay, so the leaf blower was over blowing shit around and he left the gate open and I didn't know because I don't see the gate and it's on the side of the house and Bueller got out and I went out there and I could not find him. So I was like, well, maybe he's just taking his time. So I chilled out and then I went out and he still wasn't there.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So I went out and got, I got the flashlight and I'm looking around. Bueller's not there. I'm like, okay, I need to look at his air tag. So I pushed the air tag thing and it's like, can't find the air tag, which is weird. And it said battery ran out of the air tag. So I was like, God damn it.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So I'm looking all over, I'm walking the street and I'm screaming for Bueller freaking out because this is Texas. You know, I'm kind of in the country. There's some, you hear coyotes howling and all sorts of shit. I was like, poor Bueller. Yeah. I come home and Bueller's sitting at the front door looking in. All he wanted to do was come through a different door.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
He didn't even care about running away. He's just like, I wonder what it's like to come in this other door. I'm going to come in this other door. That's exactly what Emeril said at his party.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah, like the old, oh, they're just so creepy.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah, he's back. I felt my stomach drop out of my pooper. Okay, so she got a cat. And they're like, yeah, hashtag cat moms. So let's talk about your date now. She's like, um, like my parents, Jesse met my parents this week. It was like so funny because it was like last minute and they like came to town. So like he came to meet them. And Paige is like, so are you going to get married in Canada?
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Where even am I? I'm sorry, are you speaking English? I can't even understand what you're saying. Are we talking differently now in the house? Where am I? So they're talking about meeting the parents with Jesse and he's like, oh God, like I just like have to tell the story now.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Okay, well on my way, I was like, how the fuck did I get here? Because like weeks ago I was just like single dating and now I'm about to meet this girl's parents and then I show up and Bozo the clown is fucking there. I mean, it turned out to be her sister, but that was scary.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah. She's like, instead of saying that, maybe you say the dress is beautiful. And I was like, oh, I don't know about this. It's like really hard. She can't even shoot a basket, so. So they're all talking about how much he changes or how much he's already changed with Lexi. So then Lexi comes and she sees him and she's like, hi.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And does that thing where she holds him like from around the neck and then looks like deeply into his eyes for a kiss. Oh my God. Oh no. Wrong tree. Wrong tree. Find another tree to bark up, ma'am.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And Paige brings Lindsay pink flowers and she's like, oh, it's for your gender reveal. I'm team pink because you nauseate me and I take Pepto. Just kidding. It's for a girl.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
um so sierra uh watches page take her luggage up she's like you're independent i'm not emerald take my luggage up he's like okay yeah full service over here oh wait hold on made it to the top of the stairs i have an announcement did not come okay let's do this
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I'm actually kind of thankful because, you know, I'm, I've got a lot of body issues and stuff like that, and I don't need to go into that, but I will say on a positive note, I've never been prouder of my nipples. I've got just little tiny baby, hard nipples. They're not like crazy big ones.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah, she goes off and on and on and on and on. And she's like, yeah, it's like when your dad gets mad at you for doing bad things, but your friends were the ones that did it. And I'm like, dad, I don't smoke weed. So she's had it with fucking Kyle. And she's like, and now I've got
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
to a point where you fucked with my best friend and now you're fucking with my boyfriend like you think you can disrespect me you think you can text me anything you want like fuck you like you're lucky i don't buy your lover boy and fucking sell it okay all right bitch so i'll probably say all of that at lindsey's gender reveal dinner i'm like yes jersey housewife coming out the second she gets pissed so then we get kyle walking to the house like hey everybody i just dj'd and she's like i'm gonna
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
kill him yeah it's gonna be great she's gonna eviscerate him next week looking forward to it fun times all right everybody thanks so much for being here for another episode of watch what crappens get tickets for our live shows over at watch what crappens.com traders recap some videos over at patreon and we will talk to you next time bye watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like allison king our way is the amber way
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C, Dana Do.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I feel like if anybody was going to draw me in a horrific way, it would be a lot of other things, but my nipples would be safe. So I felt good. It was like a really good episode for nipple positivity for me.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Yeah, they're just nipple shaming. I'm like, I mean, I don't know. I don't need to get into all the details. They all said different.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Like hamster mom nipples. I can see that. I don't know, but it was disturbing because I'd never thought to be insecure about my nipples. I mean, with everything else I've got going on, I just never even thought about that. So I had like a long, hard look at my nipples in the mirror and I was like, not so bad. I've got nipple pride.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
sierra's mr right all this time i am just not going to co-sign this i'm going to nip this in the bud i am not shipping sierra and carl yeah they better not be i mean i would hope that sierra's smarter than that but i have watched her with austin wes and who's the other one luke i guess well i don't know do we even count luke
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So our lovemaking is a little bit different. I'm not allowed to get hard. I don't want to go off brand. So Sierra's like, yeah, I just need to talk to my psychic. No, no more psychics on this show. Last time you had a psychic, they said that Lindsay fucked Luke. Remember? That was that page. It's like, oh my God, let's tell Hannah. Let's tell everybody about the psychic.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
How about that? So then we go to Carl and Jesse hanging tinsel and Paige is like, oh my God, you can't even figure out how to wrap it around the pole. Oh my God, stupid man. And Jesse's like, we know how to work a pole to Sorbo.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Why is it his teeth? It's like every time I see them, I'm like, put your fucking teeth away. He's just so tooth-forward. He's like, oh yeah, and that works intensely.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And so then- Carl doesn't really have a lot going on. So basically they're using Carl to do like the Captain Obvious post, you know, where the people who just kind of describe what's going on in the house. So he's like, what we're doing is we're like having a contest about whether the girls can make better decorations or the guys soft.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
We're going to this next month, March, here. Okay, March. March. We're going to be in Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, Philly. And then after that, we're in Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, and Vegas. We're going to add another couple of cities to this.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And it's boys versus girls, so the boys want to win this party by dressing like hot dogs and ketchup and mustard, okay? Because the boys are led by Kyle, and Kyle's like, you know what people want? Costumes. That's what they want. People want to see Amazon costumes in real life. And then the girls actually rented stuff. Cause you know, Paige is more about just getting caterers to do shit.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
So she's like, we have a snow cone machine, beer pong and no man nipples.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Kyle kept cheating on me. It's like you didn't get to be a child. You had too much Kyle trauma.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
You know, I've always considered Paige old, which is weird. And I don't mean she looks old or anything. I mean, she's like a very pretty young lady or whatever. And she came on here super young, but I've just always thought of Paige is like a bitchy mom in the country club. Like that my mom used to hang out with back in the day and You know, it's not the fanciest country club.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
It's like I'm from the El Paso country club, you know. But I just, those ladies drinking Franzia in the backyard, just one of them gets up and you talk about how fat their kid's gotten. You know, one of those. So I've always looked at her as just kind of an old country club lady. So it's interesting that she ever really identifies as young. Yeah. I feel like she's me.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Like I hit 40 years old when I turned 20 and I stayed 40 years old for a really long time.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
If you want ticket links to the shows and the calendar and all that, you're going to find that at WatchWhatCrappens.com. That's also where you'll find a Patreon link to our Patreon, which is where we do video recaps like this one. Hi. And it's also where you will find our Traders Recaps and other fun stuff. A lot of good premium content over there.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
Oh my God, Jesse, you found a child to follow around, congratulations. Okay, so then we meet the real cast, Lexi's fucking family.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
this now this is a texas fan this is a family i've oh my god that's just this is a thirsty family this is a family built on thirst
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
I think that's why I got Texas from this family. Cause it's just like blonde makeup, you know, lips out to here. And that girl was definitely thinking this is my first episode on my new show, you know? And from what I hear, Lexi is somewhat of an influencer and she just works with her mom and her sister. So they're like a thing. They're like a package.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
And so I'm excited to see what they bring because I can guarantee you it's going to be very thirsty.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
It's just like so hard when you're pretty, because when you're really pretty and like a model, people are so mean to you. I'm like, okay, Trevor Project, okay. It gets better, Lexi.
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#2744 Summer House S09E03: UnDiplo-matic Relations
God. So, Jesse is called over. She's like, Jesse, get your American ass over here. Because we're from Canada. So he comes over and meets the family. And Tiffany's like, hi, nice to meet you. I'm Tiffany. We know Tiffany. Girl, I knew your name before you even walked in the door. I could sense you were a Tiffany.
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#2667 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 2:
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#2667 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 2:
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#2667 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 2:
I told you! That is what he wanted to write!
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#2667 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 2:
They got to be choking. Chip that ice come into you. Oh, God.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
All right, everyone. Now, I'm so glad that you're here. I thought it was apropos that as I'm healing, let us all heal together. There, I said it. Now, Jennifer, so we're going into the family room where robes are lying and you can meet the chef and everything. Let's go. Fourteen courses, girls.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Here's our amazing chef. Tell them what they're having, boys. So the chef's like, well, we've got some caviar and we've got slices of watermelon. It's the amuse-bouche. He says something like amuse-bouche or something. He says amuse-bouche. And this explains how you're doing 14 courses. Because I was like, who's making 14 courses? It gave me instant agita because of Below Deck.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I'm like, no, not 14 courses. But he's like, here's your second course, watermelon. He's like, wait a minute.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
He's like, who's more beautiful? Who is it, chef? Who's more beautiful?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So he's giving them berry antioxidants, then a salad with some watermelon and his amuse-bouche, which is a gift from the chef. Dun, dun, dun. So Sutton's like, oh, Garcelle, we know you speak French. I never, what's amuse-bouche? Listen to her. Listen to her. What is it? Tell me what it is. So Beau's like, leave the chef in the kitchen, please. Thank you, chef. Thank you, chef.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Manly hands. With a Z at the end instead of an S. Like manly hands.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
It was funny because Garcelle knew all of the masseuses.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
She's like, oh, hi, Ricky. Oh, hi, all. Hi, Al. Hi, Alan. Okay.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
How does Garcelle know every single massage person? And she's like, oh, those hands have been all over this body.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home. So, you know, small talk while they're getting stuff. But Garcelle's like, finally, I'm relaxed. I'm ready for a massage. I'm dreaming of beautiful thoughts. Can I speak with you while you're getting a massage, Garcelle? She's like, God damn it. Why?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
in the veeper room i got a screaming match with quail and when you turned around and asked me dot dot dot dilly dude dilly dude flashback to one week earlier when garcelle goes how are you doing do you mean you genuinely do you do you well i wouldn't have asked if i didn't want to know i mean it's like going up to manly hands and saying just the neck and shoulders am i right who would just ask for that alone right right right
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Well, my reaction was far less about you and more about me.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
You know, I'm just so lost. She goes, well, stop there, please. I'm just so sorry. I feel so sad for you. It's almost like you're a person about to get a massage and then it's interrupted. And that's a terrible thing to happen to somebody. So I just don't want the kids to have adult trauma. So if there's any insight I can get you, please wait over there while I come up with it.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Fuck you with that. Jabs. And then 2023.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I didn't attack you for you and your privilege. I can't. I can't. I so wish they had thrown in. It's giving bullies.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Well, thank you for saying that. You could have said it in less words, but I appreciate it coming out all the same. Now, please go away. And she's like, well, I'm surprised that Dorit's taking accountability. That has never happened. But I welcome this Dorit. I welcome it. So now Bose and Jennifer are talking about how chic the sunglasses are. And then Bose moves over to Kyle.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And she's like, now, you know, I'm feeling better than I thought I was going to feel. But now a question for you, Kyle. So Garcelle came over yesterday and we talked about this now infamous text, you know, between you and what's his name? The guy who eats chips. So you don't want to read the text. And I'm like, OK, well, it just sounds so scandalous.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I know because, of course, because now I mean, right. And then I'm talking with Garcelle and she's like, oh, well, Kyle and I read the text to everybody. And I'm feeling like, why the fuck didn't she read the text to me?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Did I go too far there? Did someone unlock a car? Or like when the ambulances don't want to wake everybody up, so they just go... It's like an ambulance is like, get out of the way.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So Sutton sees them talking and scoots right over. And Sutton's like, you said more than that, Kyle. You said more than that. She goes, what? And she goes, in your text, you said more than continue sending me funny memes. So she goes, um, yeah, I'm talking about that. You just stepped into the conversation.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Yeah, Kyle's like, well, it's so weird that I went to the person who wasn't involved in this and told them instead of the person that was involved so that eventually it would get back to the person that was involved and then everybody can keep talking about it for another few episodes. I'm just so mad about it.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Mm-hmm. Where have all the cowgirls gone? Am I right? Why do you think I'm gay? So then Sutton's like, well, no one asked you to pull out your phone, Kyle. You did it. She goes, oh, my God. Why do I owe this to every single person? So now Erica's eavesdropping.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So Kyle's like, I can't take this anymore. I don't want to talk about it. I just don't want to talk about it. So she's like, starts dabbing her eyes, you know, and licking her lips crazily. And Buzz is like, hmm. So now she's upset. So it's like, yeah, I just, I don't really understand that.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Well, she's choosing her. She's choosing her team. You know, if it's going to be Kyle versus Dorit, you know, Dorit's the only one who gives her the time of day. But she's herself said that Kyle is the queen bee of the show. So she's going to keep that check coming. So she goes to Kyle. Yes.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Kyle helped with the pizza party and Dorit did nothing. So, um, so Erica goes to check on Kyle and, um, Dorit's like, well, I was sitting in the sun and I feel like I'm not going to sit in the sun. I'm going to sit over here. But if I'm over here, there's no sun. Where's the sun? I need some sun. Maybe I'll move over there. Oh, the sun. Oh, God, it's too much.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Guys, this is fun. Can we play Trixie's greatest song for the episode, please? My life is gray. Okay, let's go on with the scene. So Erica goes to Kyle and she's like, what's going on, honey? And she's like, I just can't do this anymore. I'm like, I really can't. I've been standing here dabbing my eyes. I'm like, no one's even come over except you. Like, I'm not going to do this.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Like, everyone's trying to make it look like there's something wrong with PK. I just don't get it.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
All you did was just... I'm not going to be made to do this. Like, I mean, every time we come up and do this, like, we go through this, like, why would I want to fucking be here? I'm wrong to read the text. I'm wrong because I didn't read the text.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
What am I, a child? I have to go to the fucking principal's office?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Well, by the way, I don't know where anything, but I'm going to come out here, I'm going to read this, and then I'm leaving. And you know I did nothing wrong, right, Erica? You know. I know, honey. I know. Hey, did you get that picture I just accidentally texted you of a chicken breast? Could you just delete that from your phone?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I said, hey, PK, this looks like that time I caught you coming out of the shower. So Kyle says, OK, chicken breasts, a raw chicken breast is PK's body type.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Quill, please sit down. No. No. No, I don't want to. I really need to say this. I got to do it. I got to do this. Please just let me say this because I'm going to leave.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I'm fucking leaving, please, okay?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Because I love you and PK and your kid's lady I barely knew and had lunch with maybe twice. It doesn't work out, so I don't talk to her.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
But I'm like, you know that I love you. You know that. You know I love you. She's like, I knew, Kyle. And I've been made to feel like I've done something wrong. You know, like sending a text to PK. I said, I'm going to read this one. And that's it. And then Bo said something today that made it seem like it was something weird.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So obviously I'm showing it because it's Bo's fault because I have nothing to hide. I'm going to just read you guys. I'm going to read it.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
If I was there, I would have just thrown a bucket of water on Kyle. Like, what is wrong with you?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So she's like, okay, okay. So it says that he made a joke in April. Okay. And then the next text is not until the day that you guys got separated. And I said, I know you have a lot of friends. I'm also one.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And if you need me, I've never repeated anything you shared with me and I wouldn't. Meaning, meaning, because she knows how that sounds now, you know? So now she's like, should I just not read that part? There was like a long pause where she's like, I can't skip that part because I already read it to everybody else. God damn it, I have to read it.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
But meaning, meaning, meaning, I don't mean regarding you. I mean, I think that's what you're taking it as. But I'm not talking about this. I'm talking about this, like production, okay?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Of course, you would write with production. No one else is disgusted any other way. Otherwise, how would you know when it's production? You don't beat around the bush.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So Kyle's like... Well, I'm sorry, but I'm sorry to interrupt you because Giselle, Garcelle, she adds this. She goes, because either way it doesn't look good because obviously it means it was more than memes and jokes, period. I mean, if it's memes and jokes, share them. Production likes to laugh too.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Yeah, that's Kyle, though. She can't make a case for herself. The fun part is just watching her cry and freak out over the shit she caused. So and then she says, yeah, go ahead, man.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Quill! I loved you and your family. I'm done with this shit. I'm done with this shit. I'm done. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm not.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And she storms out of the house just like fluffing her hair back. And, wow, they just kind of watch her walking out like, what the fuck is wrong with her? And Moe's clocks it. She's like, the louder Kyle protests and cries about the situation, the more that I know she's wrong.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I'm done. I'm leaving. No, I am leaving. But not leaving. And then now she's like, I am leaving. I'm done. But she's still standing there. She's just standing there for the camera. It's like, I'm done. So Sutton just rolls her eyes. And Dorit's like, let me go, Erica.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Oh, let me go, Erica. She will, Erica. She will. So now Erica and Dorit follow Kyle. And everyone else is being nosy, you know. So then... The manly hands have been listening to Kyle's meltdown, and one of them goes, that woman was right. She said it would change in a minute, and it did.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Yeah. So they come, Kyle and Erica go to Drie.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And Kyle's like, no, no, it's disgusting. Every day to be made to feel like this. Are you kidding me right now? Are you kidding me?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So then back inside, Bose is like, let's go watch. So it's like, it's so dramatic. I want to watch. She goes, let's go Sutton, get up.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I mean, honestly, everybody should be ashamed of themselves. Seriously, fucking ridiculous.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So Dorit takes her off alone. And it's like, guys, can I have a minute? So they walk off. And every time Kyle runs away, everybody just keeps circling around her to watch her break down more.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So she goes, let's just not talk about this for one second. And let's take a deep breath.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And Garcelle's like, does this scream I'm guilty? Yeah, it does.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And Dorit tells us, well, Goyle, it's a little late because a Goyle's Goyle would have stopped talking to my husband without having to be east. A Goyle's Goyle would have done it the right thing right away.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Yeah, but like, I can't even picture him like, I mean, doing that. You know what I mean? Because he's just so like... I mean, if there was like a sound effect for PK, like walking up a beach, it would be like...
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I can't pass a bowl of sour cream without saying... It's a rough life, Kyle. And so Kyle's like, I mean, like, I don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I always saw Dorit wearing the pants in that relationship. So, like, it's just hard for me to visualize that dynamic. I mean, is Dorit taking advantage of this moment so she can paint a picture of who PK is and he can't defend himself?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I mean, I'm just saying I've never seen that. So, like, then again, I've never seen this side of Dorit either. So, like, well... Oh, wow. So now you're just not going to believe her and you're going to take PK's side and run off and text PK about this later. I mean, this is like this is the base of the problem, Kyle. You're on PK's side. You don't even believe that PK was mean.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
How can you not look at everything that PK's look at how PK talks to her on camera and then tell me he's not capable of being a dick off camera. What a shitty fucking person. What a shitty fucking person.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Well, it's also like kind of believing like a victim of something.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I was just like, no, I'm on the man side immediately. You know, it's just fucking disgusting. And let me tell you, also utterly not surprising because it's fucking Kyle. So back inside, Erica's getting her feet massaged.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
She's like, are they still talking? Has anybody checked? Go check. Tilly, go look out there. They won't hit you. You're new. Go. You're too rich for Kyle to hit.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Well, obviously, Dorit, we're like both going through a hard time because I don't know if you remember my storyline, but it's a really, really rough, rougher than yours. And like, like we're in that place and we're both going through difficult times separately, mostly because I won't call you because you don't like to speed walk.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Yeah, good times. Okay, so we just got through a really rough Real Housewives of New York recap. So I'm so excited to be here for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Back to stupidity. I know. I really needed this episode. Me too. Pure fucking stupidity. Oh, my God. This show is so dumb. I love it. It's so dumb. They literally talk about nothing.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Right now, because it benefits me, my divorce is not going better than yours. But it will be back better than yours tomorrow. Okay.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
well you know when you write things like you know i'd never share anything you don't you know that just doesn't feel right kyle just well but you're like i mean i'm leaving pk doesn't talk about doesn't think about it like that because no but like he knows what we're talking about he knows we're talking about it just well but you would never say i'd never say it on camera you wouldn't say i'd never repeat anything you just say i would never say anything on camera that's what you would say
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And she goes, well, I don't talk about you. Like, he doesn't talk to me about your relationship. And she goes, yes, he does. No, no, he doesn't talk about your relationship with me. She goes, yes, he does, Coyle. About your, I mean, what are you saying? About your relationship? Yes, Coyle. I swear to you, he doesn't. PK shares things with everybody.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So Kyle's like, well, I mean, if you know my character and you have a brain. Yeah, both. And you're a fucking liar. You've always been a fucking liar. You're not a good girl's girl. You're not a good friend to anybody. And, of course, I believe everything that that dodo bird Dorit is saying. I mean, when you're making Dorit 100% correct in an argument, you've really fucked up, Kyle.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So she was like, yeah, I mean, we've talked about things in the past, like about Lisa Vanderpump, the show, like how do you get a chair through a door, et cetera. But my point was, I never repeated any of those things that we've discussed and none of those things have ever been about Dorit. But then we hear Dorit and Dorit's like, PK doesn't pick up the phone to Kyle to discuss our issues.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
But after dinner with Mo, when Kyle and Mo used to live together, he'd go back to the house. And I know he would see Kyle. And I know all the conversations they used to have. Kyle would talk to him about her issues with me. And PK would talk about his issues with me. And do you know how I knew? Because PK told me. Because, of course, PK is one of the biggest gossips on this show.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Of course, he came home and was like, here's what Kyle said about you tonight.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I'm going to go in and grab my stuff and leave. You didn't prepare to leave? You've been in there threatening to leave for the past 15 minutes. You didn't get your purse?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And then Kyle's fit about nothing made life worth living. I loved it.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Dorit's like an LV falls off of her forehead. So Kyle's like, oh my God, we just achieved exactly what she wanted. Everyone's talking about this now instead of what she did to me, which is her being a good friend to me. And so like had to pull something out of her hat, didn't she? When was this ever about her not being a good friend to you?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I get it, guys. And so Boze is like, why is Erica jumping in to defend Kyle? I mean, when is Dorit that deserves our support? Kyle's the one who did wrong. Where's the support for Dorit?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Well, I'm going to say something to Dorit because I really have to do this because we're not going to have a thing. But I just want to just. Well, we know we're not friends. To be continued. OK, well, to be continued. But I want you all to know that we will always be able to sit down and be OK. Agreed. Anything else? No, but I think that's a good start.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Am I going to get a pat on the head or shoulder, anything? Anybody going to congratulate me on that?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Just fine. Sutton's all simmering over there. Like she just gave some soliloquy about love and peace. Like you barely did anything. Quiet down over there.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So Jennifer Tilly goes, um, I heard agree. If it matters, I would agree.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Yeah, that was a wreck. Okay, so we start with a brilliant Trixie Monaco song. I mean, Trixie was killing it in this entire episode. Great music. She's putting together, she's putting out some great work this season. But this one is, I leave it to the haters. I never want to be like that. I never want to be like that. I leave it to the haters. Why? Because I'm bigger than that. That's right.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So then we go to Kyle's and she's wrapping presents.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So she's like, Sophia, do you have present tape? Anybody?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So she's telling us, I'm still so hurt about what happened at Boza's event. Like, how I, like, cried a lot, and then I cried a lot some more, and then I cried, and then I had to read the text. And, like, it was so hard. It was, like, so hard. And the press, the national press all week has been about this.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
They've been saying, oh, yeah, Kyle, all the ladies gang up on Kyle and Kyle had to take a break from filming. And she walks out of a beauty or a massage event this week and she doesn't return for weeks. She's just so upset. And then you watch the show and this is what you're upset about. Kyle, literally nobody did anything to you.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
You know what? A Porsche is a car that like drives really fast.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So also he's going to be taking a Porsche to London. Well, they're going to Paris or something. No, they're going to go to either Madrid or Mallorca, but they're going to stop off at London to pick up Porsche's friends. And Fer is like, oh, my God, are you guys going to like party together? He's like, yeah. Who? Me and Porsche? Of course. That's the whole point.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Listen, I lost one child, but I gained a whole new a whole new young adult's dating pool.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Was it a Cayenne? I couldn't tell if it was a Cayenne or the Macan or whatever those are called. Macan. I don't know. The Cayennes are expensive as fuck. Huh? Let's see. Porsche SUV.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Yeah, there's a cayenne, the macan, and the, I don't know. I think the cayenne's the bigger one, and the macan's the smaller one.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And then we see clips of the happy family and people, other kids getting their cars and Christmases. And Kyle's like, it's just really strange for me. And then they all pile in to take a ride in Porsche's new car. And then we go to Garcelle's beach house.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
That's right. Now let's see what the ladies are doing in Beverly Hills. Take it away, Sutton. I'm putting on lipstick. Great. All right. I'll sing another verse.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Yeah. So she comes over and she brings her little dog, June Carter Cash. And, you know, the dogs are playing and stuff. And so they start talking about Kyle storming out of the party. And we see clips of it. I'm done with this. I mean, I'm so done. Can I have a glass of wine? Okay, yeah, I'll just have it right here. That was good.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I'm done. Stop looking at me. Stop talking to me. Stop touching me.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Yeah, that's not the saying, but nice try. And you're an actor. Come on, ma'am. You missed the doth. So Sutton was like, well, the bigger part now for me is that she thinks it's okay to storm out and leave this group because she thinks she's above it. And I do not appreciate that. And I'm going to talk to her about this because no one is above this.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I'm like, oh, you have stormed out more than anybody. But that's kind of her point is that when she storms out, she gets in trouble. And then we see a clip of her storming out of Magic Mike and Kyle being like, You can't just be offended and just walk away. No, she said, you can just be offended and walk away. I mean, instead of making a big scene, she goes, but what did I do? I walked away.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And now you're yelling at me. She goes, well, yeah, but your walking away was like a little bit excessive. And then Kyle makes three walkouts in one episode.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Well, Sutton, strike. I'm not going to bow. Not Richards.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So they go get some facials, and Dorit's like, Erica, the last few months, I've been looking in the mirror going, ooh, stress just does not. I mean, it takes a tool on your face.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Let's see what Garcelle's doing. I'm putting on a shoe. Wow. Great. I'm the greatest. They see my face. It's everywhere. What's Dorit doing? And Dorit's talking to her poor friend, Ploy, who probably hasn't been paid in 10 years.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
He's a horrible monster. He looks in your mirror, crawls through it, and eats all the candy in your house.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I didn't mean it, actually. I didn't even know I had that power. Go away, Berlin.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And I've come to realise through everything that I don't need a lot of friends. I just need the right friends. So now it is, was it Bose's wellness party with all my friends?
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Her not sticking up for me, or at least saying, coil, even in private. That wasn't very cool. That's hurtful, coil. And so she's like, so... Durga, let's chit-chat. Let's chit-chat for a bit.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I don't remember. Well, tell me about yesterday. Yes, you're correct. You're on the correct line, Ben. Go ahead.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I think Coyle was suggesting what it means, but I think it's a coop-out. She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't bring up cops around me. I did it. I said coop-out. I don't like cops. Well, I'm just saying it was a coop-out. All right. It was a coop-out. That's fine. I can deal with chickens. They give us eggs.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Well, when she said I will never repeat what we talk about or repeat what we talk about, this is plain and simple. About me and nothing else. Nothing else.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Well, she's talking to my husband. What do you think she's talking about? Well, she presumes that it's you, but I don't know for sure. I mean, what the fuck do I know, you know? Erika, this is not a court of law, thankfully for you. You're damn right on that one, girlfriend. But the point is, I'm not going to jump to assumptions.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And she's like, today's all about meditation and healing and forming a sisterly bond.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Exactly. So she's like, Dorit may not need proof, but I do. Because listen, whatever you think, I was married to a trial lawyer for over 20 years. And guess what? He taught me a few things. You gotta have proof. Erika, have you seen my pocketbook? I told you I was married to a lawyer.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Erika's defense of Coyle is actually a public thing. I know Kyle is a friend of her, but so am I. And I've never, never known Erika to be afraid of anyone, but when it comes to Coyle, there's no other way to put it.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Well, I don't want you to side with me. I want you to cool it like you see it.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I don't even know what we're talking about anymore. God damn it. God, you ruined the facial. Fuck. Martin Lawrence is going to try and cover me with a ficus next time he comes over.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Yeah, exhausting but hilarious. I mean, I'm loving the season of Kyle just trying to storm out and cry in every episode. It's so funny. It was so funny. Especially with her twitching and her lips all wonky from whatever work she just got done. You should know better to get this work done when you're filming. What the hell? But yeah, it's a fun season.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
then we go to boze's and they're setting up she's got a whole staff they're setting up for boze's serenity gathering um so nico comes in he's like boze quick question when the ladies get their robes and the slippers are right under them what if the slippers are wrapped in like ribbon like a big bow i've been working on that all night she's like you know what we should do the waist has the waist is the bow and the slippers are tucked in there he's like
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C, Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kerr.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay B. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Really glad I expended all of this creative energy to be slapped down again. Thanks. I'll be in the kitchen, I guess, making you a curry.
Watch What Crappens
#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
That was a failure. Heads are rolling. Nico's head is rolling down the hill, probably wrapped in one of those fucking bows he tried to pass off.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
You can find these great prices in store and online. Shop Whole Foods Market on Amazon and get free pickup and convenient delivery on all your wellness journey essentials. Terms apply.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Here's the real reason I'm doing this. In the corporate boardroom, sometimes somebody will have a really good idea, but they don't know how to execute it. And we see Sutton's disastrous sister party where she started yelling at everybody and having a fit. And she's like, so now I've got to come and do this mess. You think Microsoft Word invented itself? No. Before that, it was Microsoft Letters.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I came in and I turned them into a word. And there you go. Now it's in everyone's computers.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Um, so Dorit comes in and, um, and Bose is like, well, I wanted to call you real quickly because Garcelle came over and one thing she brought up that disturbed me is I think there's more to the texting between PK than maybe I thought. Dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun. And then we see Garcelle telling Bose, Kyle read the text.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Wow. And it sounded like there's more to it than just, oh, we're sending friendly memes back and forth. And she's like, well, I literally just spoke with Erica, though. And then we see 30 minutes of Erica being like, yeah, she showed her phone.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And she's telling us, yeah, there's something to the fact that Kyle chose a moment when I wasn't there and Dorit wasn't there to show that message. And she obviously just wanted to show it to people who were like, oh, it's okay, girl. You didn't do anything wrong. And she goes... Oh, you did. You did.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
How annoying is it to have to switch apps to watch your favorite movies and videos? Different logins, forgotten passwords. Well, not anymore.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I know, I know. We'll get her. So then we get my favorite musical cue of the night.
Watch What Crappens
#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
We just hear Trixie go, my life is great.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
That's the whole song. So then we go to Kyle's house and she's trying to FaceTime Kathy, but Kathy lost her phone. So she has to FaceTime Rick instead.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And Kathy's just like, oh, hi, Kyle. What are you doing inside Rick's phone? Kyle, come out of there.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Yeah, you know, PK and I are like brother and sister of that girl that you hardly know. Oh, okay. And she decides to make it weird about PK sending me memes on Instagram. I mean, are you fucking kidding me, Kathy? So I'm going to go see her today, which sounds like very relaxing, but whatever.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Yeah, so now they're doing party setup, party setup, party setup. Today I've got a great afternoon planned. I've got a chef that's got a 14-course meal planned. 14 courses. Have you ever? I've got fluffy robes, fluffy slippers, manly hands who can give massages. I mean, this, this is healing. This, this is healing.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Experience the convenience of having your favorite subscriptions in your Prime Video account with one login and one password.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Yeah, so people start coming. Erica comes. Kyle comes. Jennifer, Grace, Sutton are riding over in an SUV.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And Jennifer is like, you said you heard from Kyle that she's raring to go.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Like, what does she say? Well, you know, she's just so vehement about, well, there's just no takes. We're out of line, et cetera, et cetera. That, that, that. Citra.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Well, I hope they can find a way back. Because right now, it doesn't look like it.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Well, I feel like he was texting her more than memes. And she's downplaying it like he's texting me memes.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
No memes. Yes, memes. Memes. And so they're laughing at Jennifer. And Garcelle's like, but she showed the text and read the text.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
Well, you know. And then we see her reading it. And Kyle's like, I know you have a lot of friends. But, you know, I'm also here. I'm also your friend if you need me. And I've never repeated anything that you've shared with me. And I never would. I never would be gay.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So now Dorit shows up at the party and she's like, I don't know how Coyle is feeling coming in today, but truth be told, I don't give a shite. The fact that she showed that text message to the other ladies and not to me, tears me. She's not thinking with the right mind. Sweetheart, you're always telling people to be honest and face things head on. Lead by example.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So Kyle says, and there's some awkwardness, and everybody else is in pajamas, but Kyle's in kind of like an evening dress kind of thing.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
And Drake goes, oh, yes, hello, hello, everyone. Hello, so serene.
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#2700 RHOBH S1408: Time for some R & Rguements
So, Kyle, is this your comfortable place?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
He's like, wow, somebody howled and now it smells like syphilis in this car.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So then Jesse's like, oh, guys, you know, I don't know if you've ever heard Lexi's work, but it goes like this, woof, woof.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah, she said it's like a baby boy, and it's already more mature than every guy in this house. So, actually pretty amazing. So, Carl gets a call. He's like, hold up, hold up, hold up. One second. Got a call. Got a call. Want to authorize the pickup for my draft? Oh, yeah. Sorry. A little surprise for my party tomorrow.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Let me tell you a little backstory. I'm from Pittsburgh and they're famous for Pittsburgh pirates. We call them cake eaters. So I love pirates. They eat cake. So I'm going to show a throw a shipwreck party. All right. And guess what? My ex fiance is not going to be there. Let's fucking go. Yeah.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
kind of ironic i'm having a pirate party when the wench is gone um i would walk the plank but that board is pretty hard do we have a soft plank i can walk on so yeah i invited a girl guys because i'm talking to a girl she's like really cute i'm attracted to her and i have a feeling if she's into me she's going to be kind of like olive oil from the film version of popeye so let's see let's see hey y'all
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Does Polly like maybe want a cracker that's gluten free? I mean, I'm into that. If you need that, like I'm here to support your boundaries. So is the cracker soft.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
He tries so hard. Hey, bro, did you invite Shorty? Please stop. Someone uncringe him. I'm so cringe every time. Him and Jesse, every time they talk, I'm just like, oh, my butthole clenches.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Hey, Lil, you look a little tall. And then I had to wait for a response. I had to wait for a response.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah, and Emeril's like, obviously you're still looking for a connection, right? And he's like, yeah, yeah, looking for a connection. But like, guys, truth be told, let me tell you a secret. I haven't had sex since last summer, so. But wasn't the thing last summer that he wasn't having sex with Lindsay? So I don't think he even had sex last summer, did he?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
I wasn't seeding it. So I would say that's quite a difference. My field isn't pregnant. So...
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Ironically enough, I actually was actually texting Lil Wayne as well. And I was like, you look a little short. I did not get a text back. I did not get a selfie from Lil Wayne. So, you know, I'm all like 50-50 right now. As the cake pirates would say in my state, arg.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So Jesse's like, yeah, guys, we're going to get Carl late this weekend. Lindsey's not going to come, right? And he's like, no. Yeah, I want you to find your pirate's booty. Bark, bark, howl, howl, brah.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
And then the makers of Poppy Soda were like, sorry, we just bought your town. We're having it burnt down.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So hard walking into somebody's room with orange juice and saying, hello, Mrs. Mrs. Lindsay, are we feeling okay today?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
The door is the Lexi of doors.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
And then she ran from the old people. This happens with stars, you know? She's like, ew, dress. So Paige walks in and she's like, oh my God, I love air conditioning. It just feels so regal and classy. Oh my God, I need help setting. Okay, guys, we need to set up for Amato's party to let her know that we really love her. So order some dominoes and throw some guacamole on the floor.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
We just really want someone to represent Amanda's personality. So we hired Rachel Tratch to just stand at the door and make this face.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Rachel Dratch. Pizza, huh? God. Last time I saw something that flat was when I saw that family of five get run over by a semi on the freeway. So Craig's like, Paige, where's your room?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
I demand a penthouse. What am I, poor?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
It'll be nice, you know, not having to walk to the bathroom because there's a bedpan in that room. So I say we just do it there.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
The only thing that plays on that TV is Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune over and over again. It's going to be glamorous. So Gabby, I mean, Sierra comes. She hugs. She says hi to Gabby. Gabby's like, I need a glass of wine. Craig, do you want a glass of wine? He's like, I'm okay. I'm going to have a beer, a root beer. Thank you, though.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
I found nothing endearing.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
I'm like, I said addiction last week on my show, so I'm just going to have some root beer today. Thanks, though. Really going to follow through on that storyline.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So Paige is like, ew, people who don't drink wine are gross. Let's drink, Gabby. She's like, fuck yeah. So they drink and then the guys arrive and... Howl, howl, howl, howl. As pirates say, howl-arg. Howl-arg.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Nothing endearing. Don't get soft.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
I don't care. Yeah. Fuck your kink shame.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
And you know what, what, what are we going to get letters from puppy kinks? They don't have opposable thumbs. Sorry. Who are you going to complain to you? Puppy kink, people. I'm not fucking a puppy. Stop that.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
oh my god amazing i'm overwhelmed birthday and she's like honestly i thought i was 33 for a really long time like i keep forgetting how old i am all i know is that i'm old enough for kyle to have completely stolen my youth
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
I just, you know, the whole time they were driving in that car together, the boys are like, boy, do you want to howl or do you want to bark?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So Paige is like, okay, we're going to eat snacks. We're going to have a pizza party. We made a lot of effort, Amanda, a lot.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Carl's like, this weekend, I want to dress up in the room between me and Greg because what he did was super, super shady. And we're going to have a discussion about it.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah. So Carl's like, hey, you guys, you know what we need for our party tomorrow? I think we're going to reload that cooler tomorrow. Get ready for a reload. It's Carl 9.0.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Falling down flights of stairs.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Oh, it's like, oh, my God, I would love to just see these guys get beat up in Texas. That's what I want to see. I want to see these guys try and pull in front of like one of those big pickup trucks in Texas and just watch their asses get kicked. Because that's all I think of with guys like this. It's like you're going to get your ass kicked one day and I want to be there to see it.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Carl's like, yeah, if you're going to do that, you better stake out a non-alc corner. Corner of non-alc.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So now Carl is crushing a box with his foot. Carl's like really manic this weekend. He's like, look how fun I am without Lindsay. Crushing a box. Yeah. Crushing a box. Not out corner. Pirates. Lil. Lil. Have I mentioned Lil? Have I shot my load too fast? It's a lot, guys. It's like the first five minutes I've said pirates, Lil. I've crushed a box and I've said not out corner.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Are we still on the same page? That's Carl 9.0, baby.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Want me to remix you a little Phil Collins, bro?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
I'm impressed that he got that trademark so far it's unbelievable but listen I haven't announced the brand on social it's not a fish so like it hasn't been publicized and that's coming next week that's huge that's huge it's gonna be huge it's gonna be big it's gonna be soft
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Burn it down. A fucking mindful consumption bar. How about a suck my dick bar? Okay.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
If I ever line up for a place called a mindful consumption bar, just fucking have a group of puppies murder me. You know, sex puppies murder me.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
By the way, hi, Williamsburg. Lived there for seven years. 475 Kent Avenue. Hey, baby, miss you. And it was before it was completely douched out. You know, it was a long time ago that I lived there. But we did have like a lot of metal workers.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
It would be like a Thai restaurant, a coffee shop, and then like some guy with like a really long beard, you know, and like steampunk, you know, steampunk style. And he'd be like, guys, I do metal work. Anybody need metal work for their apartment? I'll try and think of something, Jeffrey.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
There was a lady who grew tomatoes on our roof, and it was just not built for that. Yeah, and there were like, Jeffrey, the metal worker, his name was spelled like J-E-J-O-F-F-R-I-E-Y-E-E. It's like, oh God, okay, Jeffrey.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So that's what I went back to the table. I refined my idea and now I can't wait. Oh, so, I mean, I guess you are giving her credit for telling you to rework it because you reworked it.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Of course. Listen, there's plenty of people, especially in Williamsburg, who want to spend $25 on a glass of punch and let them do it.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah, I'll be mindful if I want. You know, that's my own path. So then Carl's like, so come on, Kyle. Let's talk about you and your emotions, your very serious storyline of competing bubbles. So you're going to try and talk to Craig. And he's like, yeah, yeah. I've never, ever in my life felt more wrongfully attacked.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Carl has gone through this kind of transformation where he is really different and he just looks shell shocked. And this before even Lindsay is the whole his sobriety is his acted a different way towards him. It's like he's come out of. It's like if you've ever watched those movies, okay, have you ever seen one of those movies?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
And CEOs don't forget. commercials here comes one right now so then uh jesse's calling sierra into his west room and they're like playing around and then amanda and page are like playing around in their room and amanda's like oh my god i woke up with the biggest pimple on my chin two days ago to the point where my whole fucking chin was swollen i'm gonna name her bertha
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
yeah you know i don't know that we're gonna be in slumby land like you know a big win for me would be like hey maybe like bye you know like eye contact like she won't look me in the eyes still just a sad little boy you didn't do anything i'm going to talk to her i mean i said hey you want to come in for a slumby you know because like i'm friends with like both of you and it shouldn't be like this like there's more of the merrier at the slumby
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So we get flashbacks of Jesse being so close to Sierra. And he's like, yeah, I'm, like, hot between two friends. And, like, I wish we could, like, all sit and get along and, like, just be chill, you know? Like, maybe I can love a little Sierra and, like, help her realize he's not such a bad guy. I'm going to do that by sitting with her on a floaty and talking about how hot her cans are.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
And he's like, yeah, well, like truth be told, like I like attention, you know? So like my phone's juicy. It's a juicy shawty, you know? And I'm like, well, phone, step off the curb. You know what I'm saying?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Here's a trope that they do a lot or a TV show where someone wakes up, but they have no memory. And then the whole thing is them trying to figure out like who they were. And then sometimes they find out that they committed murder or something like that. Carl's that character. He just has like woken up and he's like, who am I? I don't even know who I am anymore. Do I like soda?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So Uber Eats comes. Uber Eats is here. And Emeril is like, hi, thanks for coming by. May I stick my penis in you? Okay. No? Okay. Well, if you'd like to come back later as an arrow that floats on the screen, feel free. You know where I am.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So then Jesse comes in and Sierra's like, oh my God, join us with your outfit. And he's like, I was like, I don't know. what are you guys getting dressed for? Cause like Lexi's not even here this weekend.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
All right, guys, let's do a toast to Amanda's 33rd birthday. You know what I got her for her birthday? Ironically, toast. So, all right, who's counting? All right, who's counting? How old is she? She's like, I'm old as fuck, but at least I'm not as old as Kyle.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah, so then Jesse and Sierra are like, you look good. You smell good. Oh my God. So then Amanda cuts a cake and she's like, have you guys seen the new way they cut cake on TikTok? They just like put a cup down and then drag the cup out and it's full of cake.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
i don't know i don't want you think i'm avoiding it craig even though i wouldn't say i do earlier until just now no i don't feel like you're avoiding me i just i texted you back remember he's like well craig is all that friendship you know it's not like an aha gotcha you know i just want to talk he goes i do too and that's why i said we should talk tomorrow he's like oh but i think it would be like easier
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
to talk sooner than later. He's like, um, actually it's, uh, I've been in traffic and like, I would like to do it tomorrow because that's how people control things. They control the time.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Craig's such a fucking douche. Craig's just trying to be like, oh, I control. And he even says it later. It's like, he's trying to control things and show that he's the bigger, like the bigger man of the group by like demanding when the meeting is going to be. Wow.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Do I like, what's that? Soft? Soft. I'm going to call it soft. Maybe that's what I do. You know what? I'm going to make a pirate party. He just doesn't seem to know who he is. He's trying to like get little clues from places to figure out who he is.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah. But Craig doesn't care. He likes a nice awkward scene, you know? So he's like, yeah, I'm not going to do it today. And Amanda goes, okay, so you guys are going to talk tomorrow. No, we're going to talk tonight. Why can't we just do tomorrow? Dude. And he's like, oh, I just know Kyle wants to do it tomorrow. Like, what's the big deal? Let's just do it tomorrow.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
And Craig's like, no, I won't talk. So he goes, and now it's just totally awkward. And Carl's like, oh, well, I'm here to celebrate Amanda's birthday. So thank God it's awkward, because I don't think we've ever had a birthday for Amanda that wasn't completely awkward. So yeah, nailing it.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah. And so Kyle's just stalking around the backyard going, So he comes back and he's like, Jesus Christ. And so they're talking about, are they going to party tonight? And Emeril's like, yeah, fuck yeah. I'm down. I'll buy a table if you guys are down. I'm Emeril. I'm a table buyer.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
That's literally not a thing. I'm not sure where that comes from.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah, I think it just doesn't have room in the fridge. So they're going to put it in the, which makes sense, put it in the oven because it's like another cabinet, I guess. But yeah, I don't think it would keep it fresh.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So now people are leaving, and Paige and Craig are having their romantic night at home. Paige is like, my body hurts. My body and my brain. This situation with Kyle's awkward. And Craig's like, well, I don't mean to fly off so fast, but, like, he just wants to do it, and I don't want it to be quick. I'm like, it's not going to be quick.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
And, like, he doesn't deserve this convo, so he can do it on my time.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So it's 2.26, and people are arriving home. And the kitchen is still a damn mess. And Jesse's like, Amanda's birthday over. And Kyle's like, guys, this is serious. Can I have a mac and cheese? Yeah. So they pig out and do their late night thing and giggle and laugh. Gabby's having the best time with them.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
He looks confused. It's like, yeah, it's like somebody with some, maybe like later in life where they're not remembering. And there's just that moment of like looking confused. He's got that.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So then the next day, West is talking about how he had so much fun with Jesse and, you know, this is like the boys week, like we're renewing it. And so if that little fucking girlfriend comes in here and ruins it, you know, get in his rear view.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
That's like, it's easy to do when it's not yours. It's like a rental house. So like, who cares when you're drunk? Yeah.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
It's like radiation. Oh, so then Kyle's going for a run and she's like, oh my God, you're so chipper this morning. Is it because you didn't get wasted last night? Isn't it nice to wake up sober? And he's like, uh, not my first thing. Not my first time waking up sober, but thanks. But thanks.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So she's like, yeah, you feel awkward last night? I mean, I feel like it was really awkward. He's like, yeah, but like that guy said crazy shit. Like we're not as tight as we used to be. And like, if I didn't come out of the Hamptons with you, maybe we would never have made up. Cause like, he doesn't like deserve my friendship. Craig's so gross.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
How does Craig manage to go from so charming in some seasons to just so gross? I know. Instantly. And then he can swing back and forth. It's amazing.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
not happy and he's trying to like find what something and it's actually it's actually really sad well i get that you know but i i think the best part of life is just learning that you're not happy like most of the time i think life is just not happy and it doesn't mean you have to be miserable and depressed but it doesn't mean like
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
He's like, well, I'm going to talk to Kyle, but it's on my terms, okay? Because I don't even think he knows how serious this conversation's going to be. Okay, pillow man. All right. So then we go back to... Kyle comes back from his run, and Jesse goes in and pours water all over Wes' bed to wake him up. And so they go work out, and now... Someone's here with a pirate ship. Oh, my God.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
I'm so nervous because Lil's coming. Lil's coming to the party. I don't know if you guys remember, but in the beginning of the episode, Lil, she was front-loaded, and she's pretty tall, and she sent me a selfie, so it's a huge, huge day for me.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Everything for Lil. Originally, it was going to be called soft cutery, but it was really hard to find only soft things to put on it, so...
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So the boat guys go build this huge boat in the backyard and Gabby and Emeril talk about like what they're going to do. He's like, do you want to go to the gym? And she's like, um, I would rather eat the ranch off the floor.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah. So her job is Frankensteining together different bathing suit pieces. It's just going to go perfectly with her line. So then Gabby's like, well, I like the bottoms more than the tops. I'm like, me and you both, girl. And Amanda's like, yeah, so I can change anything about swimsuits, but they just give me samples. And then I'm like, put this one with that one. It's really hard.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
you're it just means you're not walking around every day oh my god i think sometimes people equate sobriety with like oh maybe i'm not sober so then i'll get sober or lose weight or whatever it is i'm gonna do this thing and then that's gonna make me happy and then you're like this is really boring
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Well, when you're just allowed to just go in there and stupidly spend money on a huge budget that makes no sense and there's nobody there to tell you that's a stupid idea, you're going to be happy. Well, stop talking about his business. Let's talk about the pirate ship. That's what I mean. Oh. Like who hires a pirate, like an actual pirate ship for a pirate party. You know what I mean?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Like put the shark fins on the ground and call it a day. He's like, I'm going to spend a hundred thousand dollars on this party. We're going to have a pirate ship. We're going to have fireworks and a securitory and a girl named Lil. I'm going to ask her to do the wave. And she's going to look like one of those things in front of the car wash. It's just got air flowing through it.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah, they're going to send me back to the minors. And Kyle's like, hey, Emeril, could you help wingman Carl? Teach Lil what a swing is. Yeah. And they're like, yeah, bro, we're bringing like 20. And Emeril says, yeah, bro, I'm bringing 20 girls to this party. So.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So yeah, now they're talking about Jesse and her and like if they're official or not. And he's like,
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
well we haven't had like the official conversation like we're moving slow like we haven't had sex yet you know because like she just wants to have sex with people that she's exclusive with and i actually like that we got this info because that was kind of my question like you don't have to boo up immediately just don't have sex with her why is that such a problem so i guess that's what they're doing there you go yeah exactly masturbation never hurt nobody come on well
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
And I think part of it is just realizing that life is kind of boring and that's the path we're on, baby. It's called the human existence. It's like how you deal with it being boring. What do you do when you're bored? That's what really matters.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So Jesse is like- Yeah, Kyle, that worked really well for you. Great advice to be passing on.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Craig's going to love this pirate ship because he's immature too. And Craig's like, oh my God, it's a pirate ship. That's fucking cool. So the guys come back and Carl's like, okay, guys, welcome back, boys. Welcome back. We're the boys. So we're going to need all hands on deck to set up this party. And so the guys just walk away and jump in the pool.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
You know, when they start piling that dirt, I was like, I need to be an Airbnb person that rents my house for this show because I would just be sitting here with a notebook like, and ding, and ding. You'd just be Paige. Paige B&B.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So West dives in the pool. Like, no one's helping them, right? And Carl's like, well, I'm not going to ask Greg for help. Whoa, probably steal your idea. He'll probably come out with a pirate company.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
She's like, yeah, we definitely flirt, but like, I mean, I'm not into him, but like 90%, he'd probably take the chance if he got it.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
I think you've never really had an addiction. So you don't know the, the, and I don't mean, I don't mean it like, well, you wouldn't know. I don't mean it like that. I just mean, what I'm talking about is when you're addicted to something, there's a certain thrill that comes from that addiction, right? So the drugs or the alcohol or the food or whatever it is.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah, some of it, like the commenting on girls' Instagrams and stuff like that. I think, okay, you're being a little overdramatic about caring about that. But then he seems to be just kind of trying to go even harder to piss her off.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
He's setting up future fights so he'll have it out. They can blame her and be like, she's just so jealous, bro.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah, so then they're, you know, Sierra now has a bell and she's like ringing it for Carl. And they're like, yeah, can we get a jingle for Carl? He's doing a great job. She's like, yeah, jingle, jingle. And then Jesse's like, yeah, and can we get a jingle for Carl's wiener getting some action? And she's like, his wiener. And she just drops the bell. He's like, oh, my God. Is that a good sign?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Oh, my God. My wiener just fell. Lil is short now. It's a ship that gives things back now. Oh, it's a hard bar. It's a hard bar. Programming coming undone. Oh.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So he's like, yeah, you know, as much as I'm enjoying boys weekend, I'm still thinking about Lexi. You know, I miss her. You know, I want to talk to her. I don't want anything to jeopardize this. Like, I'm not going to try and get numbers, you know, to party. I'm not doing anything suspicious. Could you get your hand off my boob? Sorry. Sorry.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
She is. I like that too. I like that every single time she's like, I'm going to make myself as unfuckable as possible for this party because half these people are from like Staten Island. So.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
She's like, yeah, she's shipwrecked. And so then she got stolen by pirates. So whatever. I have this wig and it looks really cute on me. So fuck off.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So when you take that away, you're like, oh my God, this is boring without that. And like normal life kind of is like that. You don't have those stimulants pumping. I don't know why I'm going on about this.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
so amanda and paige start talking about craig and kyle's stupid beef and uh paige is like oh my god no like they're so emotional i'm just annoyed with craig you know like we went to dinner and he fed me kangaroo not even kidding you and then he said i'm gonna be busy this fall but he wants to make sure our relationship is a priority disgusting what a pig
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah. She's like, this is what I want. And then she goes, oh yeah. And he said that he never thought he would be in the submissive of a relationship. And Amanda's like, yeah, that's not good. She's like, yeah. So I have this feeling that when I'm on tour, I'm going to fucking hate Amanda. Craig. Yup.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
This is what I get for ordering a soft conch. I'm really nervous. So now the party starts and you know, the costumes are great. Everybody's like partying and Lil comes and she goes, oh my God, you're looking so good. What are you, a guyliner? Yeah, it works for you. Your eyes are like fucking pop. You're like a lemur. You've got like lemur energy. God, I'm a fucking lemur. I'm a lemur fucker.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
I don't mean to demean your happy life either. I just mean, you already know what it's like. So you know how to fill your time, you know?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
She's like, you're like a lemur from the movie Madagascar. He's like, uh, yeah, yeah, totally.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So Jesse comes to meet her and she's like, I'm Will. I'm a yoga and a fitness instructor. And I really want Carl to come to hot yoga with me. I mean, can we set some goals in life? All right, gotcha. Have you ever fucked a lemur?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
And Dusty's like, guys, guys, who's got time today? Just like do it tonight. Hey, are you going to stay here tonight, Lil? Invite her over, Carl. She goes, oh my God, is this your wingman? You should be a pigeon.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So then the girls are talking and they're talking about Lil. And she's like, yeah, well, Carl went to the soccer game by himself and he sat next to this girl's parents and then they connected them. So...
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
And now he's carrying a mermaid through. He's like, the mermaid's here. The mermaid's here. No budget was, no cost was, no cost was spared. Sorry, I can't really speak English today. I'm so excited about the mermaid.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
And Lil's like, should I be worried? Because lemurs fuck mermaids. It's just how the world works, so.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
little worried here either mermaid or a pigeon i love that this was a parent setup i think that's so funny that carl just happened to go to a game and talk to the parents like we have a daughter you want to date her her name's lil no one will date her she's really into hot yoga i said honey no one wants to date go on a date after hot yoga your smell am i right i mean it takes a good hour and a half for her to stop sweating but you'll like her you're sober you want to do it do a lil
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
He's like, yeah, you know what? I feel like we're going to end up lost at sea one day. Wouldn't that be amazing? You know why? Because you can't do podcasts.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So do you feel like a priority? And he's like, yeah, you make me feel like a priority this weekend. She goes, good. I try. He's like, well, I didn't say you don't make me feel like a priority. I just said, I hope I stay a priority. Like, you know, like when you go on tour, like, I don't want to like, feel like it, like I'm forgotten, you know?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah, but like it makes me feel like I can't bring stuff up to you because like it's going to be an attack or like I'm not rooting for you. Look, I'm rooting for you as single page to have a career. It's just like I'm rooting for you as married page with babies to never have a career. Do you understand?
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
that's gonna like happen with us because like you know do we have status check-ins or like a year-end review or something like how do we do this it's like yeah i'll give you a yearly review and then i'll let you know if you're fired or not by the way it's coming up in um september okay
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Well, and I think that you're someone to look up to, too, because for someone like me, you know, I look at someone like you and you do know how to fill your life with really positive things. You know, I see you do it. You really do. You have a full dance card. You keep it moving, you know.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dees. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yes, we canna, it's Savannah.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So anyway, I don't know why we're here. The point is Carl's confused. Carl looks very confused.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
None of this excuses the woofing. None of this excuses the woofing. That's right. And I think that's a car full of douchebags, but I'm glad you found it cute.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
One, you know how girls on this show feel. And two, that dog was just saving that floor from infection. Leave that dog alone. So what if it licked the floor? The floor should thank it. Dog lick is very healthy.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
I know, I think we're starting to see the dark side.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
You think the dog's sitting there like, I'm going to take a picture of that guy being persnickety in a store and he's drinking his Nola.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Hey, Bulldog, live your best life. Lick on, Licky. No.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Well, that dog probably quit doing coke recently. And now look at it. It's just trying to find some joy in the world. Just fucking leave it alone. We all deal in our own ways. Okay, so then we go to Paige and Craig picking up Gabby because Gabby is Lindsay free this week. So we'll see how that goes. Frankly, I think it leads to a much better Gabby, that she's not like a walker for Lindsay.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Because I feel like she's a crutch for Lindsay, like a walker.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
And so it's nice to see the walker, you know, loosen up and go have some fun.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah, Craig taking all the credit.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
You're welcome, Poppy. Six billion. It was me going on Dwell Hello and talking about how shitty your soda is that propelled you to this $1.6 billion deal.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
So they're in the car and making small talk and stuff. And Paige is like, it's Amanda's birthday on Wednesday. So we're going to do like a surprise. We're going to have Kyle stay sober, not make her cry. And I don't know. We're thinking about something with avocados. Not really sure. Let's do a guacamole. That'll break her, Craig. No one is stealing her guacamole.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
I just want you to know my thigh gap is going to make every cut of the season. You're going to see it in every preview this season. Nobody's got a thigh gap like me. Sorry you missed it, you fucking loser. Oh, by the way, Kyle was trying to yell at me about Craig. I mean, talk about getting some balls. Yeah, he called me a liar on national television.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Well, in his defense, you are on national television and you're a fucking pathological liar, Craig.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
I'm a mayor and a literature expert.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
Yeah. You want to watch what happens? And he accused me of being a liar. And I'm like, what? I don't lie about anything ever. I don't lie.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
And Paige is like, oh my God, not the Jenners. Please don't bring them into this. He's like, it's a huge space. Like it doesn't even affect Kyle.
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#2771 Summer House S906: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Loverboy
so then in the douche car uh the guys are like and west is like oh hey emerald last summer we barked a lot like i don't know if you want to bark with us but it comes with a free lady scarf that you get to wear on your head and a trucker's cap that kind of floats five inches from the top of your mushroom hair so he's like that's cool i'm more of a howler oh
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
So now let's go to the Barcelona bar where Kathy Hilton is coming to meet Denise for drinks. And she's like, I'm all the sure name. Okay. Char name. Something to relax my shoulders. Right. I just found out you're not supposed to be putting, putting blush on your lips. I feel like a new woman.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Yeah. So we opened with one of her confessionals and she's like, well, you know, I'm not crazy when it comes to getting facial stuff done. I mean, I've done a little Botox here and there, maybe like once a year or something. But, you know, I heard of this salmon sperm facial. I thought that's the craziest fucking thing I ever heard. You know, it was fucked a salmon.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
And she's talking about how she likes it. Kathy has fucked up kids, too, because she understands, you know, and she's like, you know, Sammy was just so out of control and it started really affecting Lola and Eloise. And Kathy's like, well, you know, Paris was like that. And I think now she's starting to realize that she was totally out of control.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
I mean, she would be gone for days skipping school. That girl was a runner. You know, she was a runner. She ran from so many schools. Finally, I had Dr. Phil kidnap her in a white van and take her away and, I don't know, chain her up to something. And that seemed to help a little bit. She learned to DJ. So that was good, whatever that means.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Yeah. So then a server comes up and he's like, oh, do you want some prickly pear juice? And she's like, oh, prickly, what's that? It's like a pear? Why does it have, why does it got prickles on it? That doesn't sound right. It's like, it's a kind of fruit, man. I don't believe that. Fucking prickles. You know, I've had enough prick today. All right.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Have you ever used a face workout on a dude's nuts? Good God. By the way, do I look younger? Not particularly. Well, that didn't work. I had to fucking try it.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Have we forgot about infectious diseases? Yeah.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
And Denise is like, well, this ain't my first time at this road. You're going.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
cats is like i like some more of that so that was a wacky scene so then we go to denise in her kitchen and brooke comes over and she's like hey it's me brooke i was so nervous to meet you i'm so starstruck brooks oh god i love you my husband has masturbated you so many times is that weird to say he's gonna be here soon hopefully he'll keep it in his pants am i right right Yeah.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
I really like the one where you told me that lizards don't eat paella. It's given me a lot of cleanup, so thanks for that. I watch all your stuff online, all those TV shows and stuff that you're on. And now listen, he's never been as horny as when he watches what he calls diners, drive-ins, and dicks. You know that guy, don't ever introduce him to Aaron.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
You know, I even thought of that. But someone did and saved up the sperm, put it in my goddamn face. Now look at me. People were like, did you get something done? I said, a sperm came on my face. The salmon came on my face. How about you? Makes you look at bagels a little differently, huh?
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
You know, let me tell you, I know a lot of bottoms. They're good cooks. I don't know where it comes from.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
I said, hey, Judi Dench, why don't you talk much? And she said, because I have actual lines in this film, you stupid slag. And then she threw me a sweater and told me to get off the set. So it was fun. It was a good one.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Yeah. So she's like, well, we're going to make something out of your cookbook with figs. So that's going to be fun. She goes, yeah, it's really fun. Have you ever heard of a prickly fig? Do they have those? Or are figs just not fucking freaky like that? I'm telling you, I had a pair earlier. They couldn't stop getting a boner around me. That's about.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
I'm going to fuck Aaron with a prickly fig later. You got me on you. So, all right, what figs? Let's do that. It's like, yeah, it's fun. You know, it's relatively simple. Oh, yeah, that was my first film review. Someone called me relatively simple. Was that a compliment?
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
She also spray painted asshole on my car. That's the last time I paid for a Porsche. I'm wasting money.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
So we see them cooking or, you know, preparing this margarita stuff and saying, oh, wow, that's great. Uh-oh, Boner's here. And Aaron comes in. He's like, hey, guys. Hey. Just taking all of Denise's clothes and handing them to my family back in Malibu. How's everything going in here, guys? How's it going?
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Oh, Anissa, I hope you don't mind that my husband really wants to meet you. He's like, oh, I know so much about you. I watch your show every night, you know, because she has it on every night. She's like, oh, yeah, you like watching it too, honey. Let's not pretend. Listen, he watches it one-handed. You know what I mean?
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
So tell me, Verizon or Cricket? Excuse me? One's 5G and one's not. What's your answer going to be? Do not give me a softie right now. I'm basically tented. I'm tented and ready to go.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
So he's like, what's going on? And she's like, oh, hey, by the way, you're my husband's hall pass. If you don't know what that is, that's when he can fuck somebody. All right. It's a celebrity. It's you. He's going to fuck you. My husband wants to fuck you. Are we getting all this on the iPhone? Good.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
You know, it was kind of flattering me because she told me that I'm her only pass. So that was nice. Every time I came out on set, she would just go, pass. It was nice.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Have you ever heard of owl sperm being used on anything? Try that out. Hey, Brooke, you could give an owl a boner. Hey, would you try it, actually?
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
You know, Ernie has a crush on her, and that's okay. And he's like, well, she's a beautiful woman. Okay, here's my hall pass, Brad Pitt. You know what I really love about him? Not only is he fucking hot, he's just so good with kids.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
That was a good one. Watch your ankles. You know, speaking of bottoms in the kitchen.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Dad, you know, it's funny. When Brooke went to rehab, she left 12 monkeys in a cage on my doorstep. Fucking bitch. I built them a town.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
and then immediately as soon as i did that the monkey stopped talking to me it was very very strange she's like all right so aaron's like well you know i mean it was nice you got to hang out with her she was lovely babe lovely yeah i'm gonna go pee while you finish talking about your hall panel probably gonna do it on a salmon or something return the favor she literally gets up and pees
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
part of like how we met him initially just a helmet with a red glow coming out of it at 50 something years old his head his head's still just too mushy he's got to reshape it every night god bless him it's the 5g
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Yeah, I really wanted to come. Did you come, honey? Did you come? Keep trying. Just through your pants. We don't want to be disgusting. But, you know, Brooke, could you just stand there? Yeah. What? Yeah, hold the prickly fig. Hold the prickly. All right, he's almost done. And Aaron? Aaron? Okay, he came. Aaron, don't wipe yourself off. Brooke, this was great.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
So, Brooke's like, okay, now the real recipes. Now, listen, I've spent so much time testing these, and I'm going to make them user-friendly. Okay, so how about you make these recipes? I would love that. So, today is black mission figs with pistachio relish and warm honey chorizo.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Black mission figs with pistachio relish and honey chorizo.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Hey, you know, there's a weird sausage casing that looks like a condom. Aaron won't wear those. What do you think about that? Hey, Aaron, come in here and fill it up. He won't. He won't, even for you, Brooke.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
And Brooke's like, look at me just standing here drinking a margarita while you make the peanut butter and jelly sandwich of the chef world. Most simple dish of all time. Am I right?
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
She's like, do you know how to mint a shallot? She's like, why would a shallot need a mint? I mean, what is that, bad breath? What is a shallot? Is that a type of animal? What is a shallot mouse? What is that?
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
God, I hated that bitch. I almost kicked her ass at a club one time. I said, get the stick out of your ass.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Yeah, Judi Dench called her Shelley Long-winded C-word. That was pretty good.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
And Denise is like, you know, out of all the cooking videos I've done, this is the first time I've ever finished. And actually, Aaron finished too. You finished, right, honey? And it's like, yeah. This is great, Brooke.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
So she leaves. And then now Denise and Sammy are writing to post-op to check on her nose because she's still got her bandages on. So she's like, are you excited, honey? You're about to see your new baby nose. She's like, yeah, but I'm also nervous because like, oh, my God, what if my nose is too skinny now? Like, what if he took too much?
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Yeah. So, you know, I wish that I could. I'm really susceptible to buying all of this stuff on the face. It's mostly on the Facebook, you know, and I only have Facebook really for works, you know, for reading. Watch what crap happens. But, you know, I'm still on there and I'll still watch it for the animals hugging animal videos and stuff like that. But I'm susceptible to all of this crap.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
I mean, we never should have trust a guy that looked like Steve Carell in the office. Like, why are we doing this? Yeah.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Yeah. So they go to the doctor and he's like, hello. He does that real tight Steve Carell smile. He's like, how are we doing in here? Looking at the camera. And here we go, guys. Yeah, let's do it. Let's start removing that bandage. Oh, my God. I'm so scared. What if my nose is horrible? No one's ever going to want to fuck my nose again. This is terrible.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Yeah. Denise is like, oh my God, I'm crying. Okay.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
included me I was so nice you included the woman who ruined your life by having the most perfect nose on earth every day I would go to bed and I say God if you're there one please tell Emilio Estevez to stop sending me memes because really and two just God give my share my nose with other people it doesn't have to just stay on me give other people the opportunity to have such a fucking amazing nose am I right I mean
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
You know, I told her, honey, how can you not know how much people love you? I mean, you've literally got thousands of people jerking off to you every day. What do you want?
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
It's just like, well, I'm happy you included me. It's just, well, I just didn't want you in my surgery because you have so much anxiety about dying under anesthesia. She goes, I'm not afraid of dying. I'm just afraid they're going to put me under and I'm never going to wake up again. Mom, that's what dying is. She's like, ow.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
I have so much of this crap. So many of these machines and gadgets and red light this. And like, I just got a hair removal system, which I've used once because it takes forever. I'm like, it takes less time to shave than it does using this thing all the time. I'm like. And I got one of these like face gym things that shocks your face. And I put it on my face and it literally electrocuted me.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Thank you. Thank you.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
And then I was telling my friend and she's like, oh, you have to put this kind of like conducting fluid on your face or it'll shock you. And I was like, well, why didn't anybody tell me? And she's like, you have to read the instructions. Anyway, the point is I have all this shit that I just don't use, but I still was like, I want both of those things.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Thank you.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Thank you. Thank you.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
The things you do when you get up there, huh? Yeah, that's fucking crazy. So she's like, anyway, so, you know, Brooke Williamson from Top Chef, you know, you know how obsessed we are. You know how you jerk off every time I watch her on a food network. It's fine. You know? I will say Aaron has given me a lot of facials, but he's nowhere close to the salmon. Hey, you know what?
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Do you think they got that salmon to watch Brooke Williams? God, Brooke Williams has actually made me look 10 years younger. I need to have her over to thank her.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
And she goes, let's do this together next time. I'm here for you. So she was like, well, you know, I commented back and she follows me on Instagram. That's amazing. She knows who I am. You know, he's like, yeah, that's, Kind of funny. I mean, that's cute. Who are we talking about again? The lady you jerk off to on Food Network. He's like the one with the blonde spiky hair and the knee socks. No.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
The kind of gargoyle style lady that's always really mean on the competition show. It's like, no, that's Alex Guarnicelli, honey.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Okay, well, to be honest, you do jerk off to the one with the blonde spiky hair again, too. She doesn't follow me on Instagram, so...
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
But please just don't ever jerk off to Guy Fieri again. You know, we do have to have some lines that we don't cross.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Yeah, no kidding. She probably is too. Um, So she's like, yeah, yeah, hopefully I can do it. I don't want my show. You know, I know I'm a disaster. He's like, you're not a disaster. Stop saying that. Oh, by the way, my mom called up and said that her rent is late on the town or on the house in Malibu. So get that paid.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
But yeah, you got to try it. How else are you supposed to know? You know, first I need to figure out my face, I guess. Hey, you want me to put my face, Jim, on your balls? And he's like, actually, would you? That sounds stimulating. Guys, could you leave the room? We're going to fuck now. She's going to fuck me with this face, Jim.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Yeah. Yeah. Fucked with the face gym. Listen, you know, you've been together long enough that you need new shit to start happening. A face gym on my nuts. It is. Let's get this going. So now she's driving Lola and Eloise and they're going to go see Sammy because she's just had her nose surgery. So she's like, so did you see your sister posted about her nose? Did you see it?
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
And she's like, yeah, I saw it on TikTok. I mean, where else would I see it? She's not going to tell me about it. So I saw it on TikTok.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
So then Denise is like, oh, does it hurt your feelings, honey? And she didn't share it with you because, you know, she could have told you and she didn't hurt. No, why would I care? As long as she shared it with Jesus, hopefully he was there to help her through it. Oh, God.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
You know, even though Lola already knew it would have been nice for a sister to be like, by the way, I just had my nose done and just wanted you to know. I mean, God, are we sisters or not?
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
I don't know what goddamn shirt she's talking about. Well, you really want to make today about a blue tank top. I mean, you really want my tank top back, mom? I'm like, well, stop. Come on. So Sammy's in her apartment.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
So Lola's like, see, I told you she wouldn't want to see me. She's probably wearing my tank top. Well, I think it's pretty rude, honey. I'm really sorry about that. But I want my tank top back. It's so cute. Where else am I going to get a light blue tank top? By the way, she's wearing a light blue tank top right now in this scene.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
So we go to Sammy's apartment and she says hi to Eloise. She's like, hi, Eloise, what's on my face? Do I look scary? And she's like, yeah. Eloise's inner thoughts are like, yeah, you fucking do. But I'm still traumatized from mom's only fan pictures being on my iPad.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
No, she's like, yeah, one of the main reasons I started my OnlyFans was to have my own money to get my own apartment, a new car and my boobs done and a new nose. So I'm really checking off the list.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
Yeah, she's just chilling with some avocado toast and coffee, looking at her phone. She doesn't care. If you're going to be completely, you know, othered by your sister, at least she has a decent lobby to hang out in.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
So Sammy's like, I don't even know what fucking tank top she's talking about. Ask her about half the shit she stole from my closet. Like, I have like a light up corset. Where's that? You know, where's my fucking neon thong? Ask her about that.
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#2770 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: You Put My Love On Top (Chef)
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Yeah. So he's like, to my last night as a single man, everybody. They're like, oh, my God, dude, you're so insane. Yeah. He's like, guys, you know I'm kidding, but also kind of serious. So now it's July 5th. How did no one even care that it was July 4th? Come on, guys. Is it because it was on a Thursday or something?
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I think part of the problem in relationships today is that people are so afraid to put labels on things. Well, Bailey, I've got a label. I've watched you for about five minutes. Here's a label. Boring. Okay. Boring. There's your label. Sew it on and run along. So then Gabby goes to Lindsay's room and she's like, oh my God, these young girls have me like spinning in circles.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I mean, they're not drunk. They're just like boy drama. And Lindsay's like, I'm about to have a baby. So I'm very mature. She just sits and looks at her like, you guys are all so crazy. So then the boys are coming home now and Jesse got Lexi's number. And so he FaceTimes her and he's like, hey, how are you?
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
what would koala solomon do burn this house down i can't take it anymore i'm fucking at it okay i've already fucking had it it's episode two okay break up already because there's only so much of this i can take i hope this whole thing is fast-tracked where they get married in a week and then they're like messy divorced people you know
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
fighting until they both crash down on the chandelier, like at the end of War of the Roses, by episode six.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And she's like, yeah, like, Carl coming back to the house? That's a choice. But, like, Lindsay coming back to the house? is also a choice. It's just like a lot of choices that I don't really understand. Like, what show is this? What are we shooting this year? So Gabby's like, whatever, you're both boring. So she leaves. And then in Lexi's room, Jesse's there. And he's like, koala, koala.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And she climbs him like a tree and gives him the old-fashioned bachelor hug. Yeah.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Yeah, it's a lot. Furnished by Uber Eats, just in case anybody's wondering. I saw it on the credits. I did notice that at all.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So then back in Lexi's room, they're doing their whole Bachelor thing. They did the koala hug, and now's the part where Jesse announces that he's going to give her the robe, which is going through his trauma. Which, that's what they do on The Bachelor. When it's time to like... bang somebody, or at least make out and stay on the show for another week. You gotta bring out the trauma.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And I feel like he wasted it. I feel like it was too quick.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I don't know why that part made me laugh. It was a very serious part, but I just liked that. It's a very sad story. He was the first person who told me, you're Lexi Wood. I was like, did you never have roll call in school? I mean... At the very least, you had somebody ask, Lexi Wood? Lexi Wood?
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I'm like, oh my God, you're loving a little too loudly, I have to say.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Guys, nothing gets me hornier than my best friend dying and somebody else having cancer. I'm like, yeah, time to bone. So they do that. And then they don't bone. They just make out. And then they decide they officially like each other.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
He's also so addicted to emotional turmoil because this is the set... where everything happens in Carl and Lindsay's relationship. Like, it's all in the kitchen. You know, all of their main... And, you know, they've had some scenes other places, but most of their main emotional work is done in the kitchen.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And so Carl is still stuck in the kitchen this whole trip, cooking, doing dishes, doing more dishes, kicking people out of the kitchen so he can stay in the kitchen because he cannot resolve anything unless it's done with Lindsay in the kitchen.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Well, I like when Kyle goes, yeah, I mean, Jesse, Jesse's already in a relationship after like 24 hours. I mean, is that just what happens when you're six, five? I mean, God, how do tall guys live?
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Because of course, Lindsay is the queen of knowing somebody for five minutes. I mean, look, she's having a baby with this guy. Yeah. Already. She was just with Carl last summer.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So the energy in here was cracking me up because Carl is clearly freaking out and Lindsay does not care. Like she not only not cares, she's so icked out by this guy now. And she's doing the thing where she's picking up trash very slowly and just looking at Carl. Hey, Lindsay. She's like, hey, Carl. So congratulations. She's like, it's OK. It's a big room setting, Kyle. I'm sure you were nervous.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Yeah, I mean, a little nervous. I just but I'm genuinely happy for you. And she just like throws something in the trash and stares at him. And he's like, oh, yeah. So, you know, I didn't get a chance to say anything early. And she's like, yeah, well, these cupcake robbers aren't going to throw themselves out. And I appreciate that.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And in fairness, I did say on the basketball courts last summer, who knows where I'll be this summer. And then we see a flashback to the basketball court where she's like, who knows what's going to happen next summer. Like I might be pregnant. Fingers crossed.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
He's the least subtle person. Kyle just stands there looking around, making faces like, oh, my God, you're talking right now. Oh, my God. So now it's 6.19 p.m. And Jesse has been made out with. So he's getting out of Lexi's bed.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Yeah, so then Sierra and Paige are still in bed, and Sierra's like, I'm, like, scared of how much I don't want to be here. I know.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Carl and the dishes that he's going to be doing the rest of the season because that's all Carl is going to do. Why is Carl back? I don't know. I guess Carl's back to watch Carl do some dishes and act like a huge victim of everybody around him. Well, not everybody. Lindsay. And it's delicious. It's actually really fun to watch. Carl's best season, I have to say, so far. Really enjoying it.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I'm kind of confused about this. Like, look, I think Wes is an ass, you know, and especially after that whole reunion and stuff. But I'm kind of confused. Like, why can't he say in an article, we just weren't each other's person? They had already broken up, right? I'm legit confused about the timeline.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
like person well we didn't really we didn't really click as people it turns out and she's like but i was sharing with you deep shit yeah so this was right after the reunion i think so he's basically because i guess my question is she he got ripped apart at the reunion and rightly so but then he did this article after the reunion right i think so so that's why i'm confused like why would you why would it like i think he's allowed to do an interview um
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
with somebody and they of course are going to ask him the whole his whole storyline and all of the only reason he was in the new york times is because he had this like scandal quote unquote scandal with sierra so of course they're going to be like why'd you break up sierra i mean i thought i don't know for me i think what it comes down to i think it as a i think ultimately what it comes down to is she really dug him he you know he pursued her really hard and she was closed off to him because she didn't want to get her no no i know all that i'm just saying like the timeline of the reunion i'm just doing a speech
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Yeah, yeah, go ahead, I'm sorry.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. I'll buy that. So then, um, cause like the hating him, I totally get that. I just don't understand the specificity of the New York times thing and the timing of it. Like, If it was after the reunion and they ripped him apart, why wouldn't he say in an interview, we just weren't each other's person? So that's the only part I'm confused about.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
As far as him hurting her feelings, I totally get that. But yeah, the way you put it, I totally get.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Um, so then, um, next up, let's see. So now in the kitchen again, Carl and Matt are there and Carl walks in and, um, Carl's like, Oh, clear the air guys. Clear the air. Oh, basically said, Like I congratulated her, and then I was like, didn't have a chance to. Aw, didn't have a chance to. And then I was like, didn't have a chance to.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So Carl comes in. At the end of last episode, he came in, freaked out with the producer. He's like, oh my God, what am I going to say to Lindsay? And then went to the bathroom and hyperventilated for a while and talked himself up.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And then her response was really, really, like it was actually touching. She threw some cupcake wrappers away, and then she reminded me on the basketball court that she would be pregnant by this time, so I lose. So it was great, it was great.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So you didn't bare your soul. But you were beet red and you were shaking. So then it cuts to Lindsay's interview and she's like, Carl will continue to be terrified of me. So he's going to be walking on eggshells around me all summer. And I don't care if he's there or not. Like literally, physically, emotionally, mentally, taco contractally, manly, babely, literally moved on. So...
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Yeah. So now it's dinner time and everybody's coming down and like it's becoming kind of a housewife show and that the first five minutes of every scene now is like, oh, my God, I love your outfit. Oh, my God. Love your outfit. Do you like my outfit? I love your outfit. So they're doing that. Jesse's doing that at the moment.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And then Sierra kind of falls while getting ready in her room, which is funny. She's out of nowhere. She's getting ready. She's like, what the fuck?
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So now he comes out all confident. He's like, I'm Carl. And he walks right out to the pool where everybody's having a good time and starts doing his like, oh, how's it going? Look at all these faces. Hello, Sierra. Hello, Paige. Hello, everybody. Hello, everybody. But Lindsay.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And she's like, I mean, whatever went down between the two of you, like, I don't know the whole story, and normally I would choose the man sign, but she's hurt. And he's like, yeah, like, no, like, a hundred. And she's like, yeah, and she got hurt because of your actions or your inactions, right? And he's like, correct.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
She's like, okay, so just be like, look, I want to be on the same page so we can enjoy our summers. That's it. And he's like, uh, that's, like, so straightforward and, like, cool, but, like... I really need to be more of a victim, so could you maybe order a cross on Amazon that I could just kind of splay myself out on while I say that?
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So Carl has to make an announcement on his microphone because not everybody's there. So he's like, ladies and gentlemen, please report to the dining room. Dinner is served. And Carl's like, oh, my God. Who the fuck gave Carl a microphone? He's like, it was $400.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So then... Carl's kind of like that guy in motorcycle class who doesn't know how to ride but shows up with, you know, $100,000 Harley. It's like, good girl.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
No, that's part of the job, especially at weddings and stuff. You are the announcer who's like, and now, Mother of the Bride. The dance with the Mother of the Bride.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Lou Fucci, yes. So everybody comes, and Jess is like, girl, you look great. That's like, you all look amazing. So then now they're trying to, you know, they're just making small talk at dinner. Kyle's putting salt on Sierra's steak, and she's like, are you trying to be Salt Bae?
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Yeah, he's doing the fancy, you know, the fancy, is his name Salt Bae? I guess that's his name, the fancy Salt Bae.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I love that you're starting an internet war with DJ Lou Fucci and Salt Bae all in the same episode. You're just like, burn it to the ground. Ben doesn't give a fuck today. Thursday, February 20th, the day that Ben stopped giving a fuck.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So they're making a lot of steak small talk and cooking small talk. And so Lindsay just goes, Cheers. Thank you, Carl, for dinner. I'm not feeling uncomfortable. He's like, oh, OK, good, because I was going to ask. And Paige is just like, cheers to honestly how mature we are, because we're so comfortable being boring, aren't we?
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And the fact that we can all sit at dinner with no plot lines is a little bit awkward, but it's not super awkward, right? So are we going to start fighting now or what? Time's a ticket. Time is money. Okay, time is money.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And now yard time is over. Let's please all head back to the pens. Yard time is over.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
That was an awkward bar mitzvah.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And Lindsay's like, um, I don't blame him for not saying hi to me, but, like, I really don't care. So... And so they're trying to make small talk with Carl and they're asking how he is. And he's like, I mean, butterflies coming out here. Of course, butterflies. Like, it's been really rough a couple of years for me, guys. I'm like, oh, Jesus. Here he goes.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
His defense was, yeah, I murdered him with my beats.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So Carl's like, well, I mean, it could get more awkward. It's only Friday. So Amanda's like, Kyle's like, what's awkward? And Jesse's like, I mean, look, they're sitting across from each other, which is cool. Like, Carl and Lindsay are still on opposite sides.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I mean, Wes and Sierra are sitting opposite each other, but, like, Carl and Lindsay are still on the opposite sides of the table, so I guess there's that. She goes, yeah, and Wes and Sierra still can't make eye contact, so... That's fine. Yeah, I'm not going to do that.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
No, it doesn't count because she still dated him when his hair was stupid and she didn't say a thing. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't count just because you say it once you're broken up. If you said it when you were together, I would have respected that comment.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Do you think this is worse than the combed forward broccoli hair? A hundred percent.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
so uh jesse's like i mean i thought it was awkward before right and sierra says um it's so awkward because people try to be nice and then they put out a lot of press about shit but like you know what why don't you keep the same energy as your articles and shit especially your new york times article can we have wine can we have wine everyone wine should we have wine
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Gabby's just scrunching down in her chair. So she's like, yeah, like, what about sending a text warning that you're going to drop another New York Times article saying, oh, actually, I didn't like her and I should have just said that at the reunion because then that would have read better as opposed to like what I said at the reunion because like that was a beta ass move. Yeah.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And Kyle's like, selflessly, I want to witness it because there's only so many speakers I can pretend to fix.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Also, before when I was like, well, I don't understand why Sierra is so mad. Well, when she puts it like this, if he really said in this article, like, I didn't really like her and I should have just said that at the reunion. Did he say? Now, listen, I know I could just very easily read the article, but I'm not going to give him that. I'm not going to do that to my brain cells.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I've depleted so many of my brain cells over the years with using, abusing, losing, and boozing. I'm not going to give him any more of my brain cells. He's not worth it. But if he did say that in the article, okay, now I can totally see why she'd be pissed. Yeah.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And Lindsay's just staring at him like, okay. Yeah.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
move but now i'm confused again because i thought they were already broken up by this part i'm so confused like if you are meanwhile if you publish an article to reiterate you don't like me anymore i mean if you don't feel the same way let a bitch know but i thought you guys were already there anyway whatever team sierra still i'm just confused about timelines so west is like well i don't think that i meant for it to be taken that
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Paige is just like, okay, next. And Gabby goes, and she's pregnant. Don't forget that.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And Lindsay's like, um, okay, well, um, I have to take a shit. And I don't have to often because I'm constipated because I'm pregnant. And this is, like, the first time in a month I have to take a shit. So do I have to fight right now? And they're like, oh, just go poop. Jesus Christ. She's like, okay. Yeah.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And he's like, oh, thank you, Sierra. But I'm still trying to figure out how my, I hope you're not feeling uncomfortable, was taken. So I need some time alone in here to do dishes. So you can leave now. And she's like, you don't have to ask me twice, stupid.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Yeah, and Carl's like, I get it. I don't know how to conflict well, you know? I mean, silence, though, is probably not the way to go. You're wearing a mic for a reason, okay? And Jesse's like, yeah, it's not going to make it go away. You just have to, like, talk, bro.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
yeah I'm sure you were in bed the whole time with people with fans of the show sucka come on you were doing appearances every night stop acting like oh my god it was so hard for me I had to go through all of that alone yeah so then the girls were all the only blanket I had was the New York Times yeah and it was the digital edition so it was really cold
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
If they raise the monthly price for whatever that was, I would totally pay it. I would like and subscribe. I love nothing more than watching a man squirm. It's amazing. That's why every time I'm sitting in Charleston, I wake Craig up with an algebra question.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So they go down there. They start gathering down there. And then the girls are getting ready. And Amanda's like, wait, guys, apparently he was at lunch and talking about Lexi the whole time. Like, Jesse's so in love. He was like, it's crazy that I was single last year and this year I'm not. And Paige is like, it's been 24 hours. You nut job. Jesus.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
My favorite was Amanda's. I think we need French toast sticks. Wow. She's like shaking the box of French toast sticks. Amanda's really growing on me this year. She's really speaking to everything I love.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Uh, so then Kyle is asking Carl, you know, like, have you said hi, Lindsay yet? And he's like, Oh no, I just, uh, I want to congratulate her on everything, but I just don't want to make her uncomfortable. So that's super important. I mean, she's like pregnant, pregnant, right? And you're like, yeah, she's pregnant, pregnant.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So, Sierra's like, obviously, I didn't do anything the first half of the day, but, like, the second half really wore me out. Sorry that you lost it.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
This is the part where she's like, I know this is toxic, but, like... Even the sick part of me is like, even though I just cursed you out, like, and I made a whole scene, like let's make a, you could literally only say this to me, but I so fucking get it.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And so Sierra is saying, you know, like, of course, like, don't you think there's part of me that like wants to hug you and tell you it's going to be fine and like comb your hair? Yeah. But like my gut reaction is that way. But like at this point, I can't figure out if he even cares and feels bad or if he's just concerned with how he looks to the public. That's all he cares about.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Don't get dragged back into this by his whininess. Okay. I think as a nurse, too, she's she's probably wanting to, like, help heal him and fix him, you know, but you can't. Yeah. Some people are just too hit by the they're too hurt. You know, sometimes you just got to push them off the bed and say someone else needs this bed.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Um, so now Kyle and Amanda are in their room and Kyle's like, I'm just proud of Lindsay and Carl, you know, cause they were like at the table and they talked about history. Like it made me happy, you know, like, like we're just functional family, but like it takes away from what the summer is all about. You know, me getting shit faced and pissing all over bushes at four in the morning.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
so carl by the way nothing says nothing says making sure someone isn't uncomfortable like singling them out and not saying hello to them it's literally what i do with every pregnant person i see if a pregnant person comes on the bus i just like hide my face under a magazine I'm like, if they can't see me, they won't feel uncomfortable.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Girl, I think they're going to have to come out with sperm breathalyzer before she even lets one of those things into her. I mean, that thing's just going to be tripping all over the place in there. You know, you're not ready. So good for you for noticing. So then Carl's like, oh, I have to go to CBS. You guys, should I come back with bagels for everybody?
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And Amanda's like, oh my God, that might be magical. You can actually serve Lindsay a representation of your personality. Just like... Something that seems kind of good, but is just a center of void. There's a hole in it.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So then Paige is still in bed and she's like, oh my God, when we were at dinner last night, I don't know why, But it was so funny when Lindsay was like, thanks for dinner, Carl. But the page is so messy. She literally doesn't even care what's happening. She's like, I started some mess and it was so great. And Sierra's like, yeah, thanks for the dinner, almost ex-husband.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
She goes, yeah, you'd have to drug me to say anything to someone that I used to be engaged to. Like, I would never even speak to them.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
page is like i would cry i love how they look at things because page page is like anybody i break up with or any because she said this for years right like you would never see me talking to an ex and i love that she's so dead it's like once you break up with page you're dead to page forever the end you know but if you talk about her hair she'll cry like i would die that's how to get emotion out of page
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Like, okay. It's amazing how like mediocrely you dress pregnant or non-pregnant. It's so consistent. Congratulations, Lindsay. She's like, um.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So then Amanda and Kyle, wait, Kyle's outside getting ready. Oh, so now they're getting ready for their big party, their big 4th of July party. And Wes is like, are there bagels down there?
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
It's like really rough. I've been through a lot and I'm really not sure what bagel to choose. So I just broke up with the bagels and I left them at checkout. Left them at checkout.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I was cracking up at Wes though because he comes down still all sad. He's like, hi guys. I just wanted to remind you. I'm still like really sad about being here. are there any bagels? And Sierra sees him and she goes, oh my God, now he's acting like someone fucking stole his goldfish.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Oh, God. So he goes to sit next to Sierra. He's like, can I sit here? Am I allowed? Should I go sit on the trash can somewhere? And Lizzie's like, I'm sitting here.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So Paige is like, who's coming to this party? So everybody's talking about who they're bringing to the party. And Lindsay's like, well, guys, I'm not coming to the party because I don't know if you have Instagram, but it was a huge week for me on there because I announced my baby and my partnership with Clear Blue.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So I'm going to go celebrate that and back home with a party called Clear Blue Pizza Beach.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
That's just so fucking Lindsay. She's like, I got 19,000 more followers and we're celebrating. Sorry.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Yeah, like, I want a day. I'm basically starting over again. Wow, what better place to find a healthy date? than a raging alcohol party in the Hamptons. So then Gabby's like, I'm going with you too, because my sister's in town. Of course you are. Gabby, you need to stay and make your own life, Gabby, okay? You can only be used so long as Lindsay's crutch. They all get thrown out.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So they are going to have a big competition. So then Paige FaceTimes Craig. And she's like, chicken, what's up? And he's like, hey, baby, just hanging by the pool, missing you. Craig, you're going to get skin cancer. Do you ever go inside? The only thing we've seen of Craig from the past year is being out in front of that. Now, listen, that pool is something to be proud of.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
It's a gorgeous backyard. But you've got to...
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
That's a lot to take on. So he's like, well, they had so much promise. And she's like, well, when are you going to come to the city? He's like, well, I can't come until next weekend. This week has been really busy, but I was hoping you could sneak away during the week. And she goes, I'm to come to you. Hold on. Let me open my iCal.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Sorry. I have a lot going on.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And she's like, mark the day because I'm going to say it. I feel bad for Craig. Okay, that's why you're getting out of me. Interview over.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Yeah, I like, you know, she's basically saying, you know, I don't regret changing or having my wants changed. And I'm not going to apologize to it about it. But I do have to admit that, like, it sucks for him because I have changed. Like, I have changed my mind on a lot of stuff, you know. And so then Lindsay and Gabby leave. And now the decoration wars begin.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So the girls are planning and Kyle comes over. He's like, oh, just here to grab a little non-alc. Little non-alc.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
She's like, it's fun for me. Are you just going to get a stupid haircut every week for me to mock? Because I'm loving this.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
It's like, yeah, because like every time I do something or confront you in front of everybody, you like give minimal response. And he's like, um, but like we haven't even like talked since like December, January. And like I thought we kind of had closure. But the whole reunion was like, God, I mean, I just sounded like an idiot. And I'm like trying to figure this out day by day.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And like, I know I'm not the best at it, but I'm just a boy, a boy at the part.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And he wants to defend himself or whatever. And she's like, yeah, but that's what I'm saying. You care what everybody else is saying. You're riding this wave. And people don't know us. They don't know you. When you're up, you're up. They kick you while you're down. And that's just how it is. He goes,
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
well, I'm learning that now, but you don't really learn that until you get a New York Times article.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And I think one of the things that's the most annoying to her about it is when he kept trying to come on to her and stuff, she was like, Look, we're on a TV show, and I have already looked stupid on said TV show over a guy, and I don't want you to make me look stupid. And so she was worried about public perception as well. That was kind of the point. She's like, I don't want to look stupid again.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And then he not only did it and made her look stupid, but now he's turning around going, but now I look stupid on TV. And she's like –
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C, Dana Do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Yes, we can-a. It's Savannah.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. It's our queen. It's Queen Laifa.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
wash a dish can I say I don't even have any of the anger towards Carl I'm just like poor Carl like what's Carl even doing here you know he drives up he doesn't even have that I mean last year it was like what's Carl doing here but at least he had the Lindsay thing kind of going on but even then he was not really into it so I mean I don't really care it's kind of like I remember when I worked at Applebee's sorry everybody wait for it it's an Applebee's story but I was like 15 and I finally left that place and
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And then I came back and I was like, this is going to be so special seeing everybody and like, I don't know, having my moment with all my friends and stuff. And it wasn't OK. It was different. Now somebody else had to dust the pictures on the wall, the stupid license plates they used to put on the wall. And it wasn't me. And I felt kind of sad about it for a minute. But then guess what?
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I started going to Chili's instead. And my life was a lot better for it. So my point is, Carl. Go to Chili's, okay? This is no longer your Applebee's. You are a bad apple. You have fallen off the tree and rolling down the hill. So go rolling. Roll down the hill. Go away. So the boys are going to have boys day. We're going to the uni bar. It's just boys.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So we're leaving at 20, all right, everybody? So now they have to start getting ready to go do that and stuff. And West is also still moping around. He's like, I was really upset. Sierra really hurt his feelings, guys. Sierra really hurt his feelings by confronting him with the stuff that he did.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Yeah. And Justin's like, do y'all like my outfit? She's like, um, I know.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So then West comes in with like a Duck Dynasty outfit. I'm not really sure what West is going to do. I get wanting to do the whole like, I'm a guy. I listen to Barstool. Like, that's great. Okay. You guys do you. I see you all over the place here in Texas. This isn't fashion, right? At some point, he's kind of a caricature of those guys.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I'd actually like to see one of those Duck Dynasty guys just kind of beat up West.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Good. I went to see La La Land last night. It was like some re-release at a movie theater here in Austin and... I've just been dancing around with Bueller all day. Just enjoying the time we have together before he chooses stardom over me. City of stars. So I'm good. I'm floating on clouds. What's going on with you over there? That dreary ass song.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
For us, it's all fine because we get to laugh at you. So Kyle, you know, I love that we're acting like the guys are all high fashion. They all look like dad's going to a Costco in the summer. Okay. But every time one of them comes out, they're like, oh my God, you look amazing. So now Carl's like, oh, I'm going to drive for boys day. It's for the boys. So Paige comes up with a better idea.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
She's like, Amanda, what if we fuck around and lie down on the couch? It's crazy.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I wasn't sure if I should say something linty because I saw her in the pool and I was like, should I say something? But then I didn't say something. And Jesse's like, you did the right thing, bro. You did the right thing. That's totally what you should do to make things less awkward. Walk in, have a nervous breakdown in the bathroom, and then just don't say anything to the people that terrify you.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
He's like, yeah, yeah. I'm going to give it a little space. A little space.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So now the girls are talking about how nervous Carl was. So she's like, oh my, Amanda's like, do you think he noticed the gigantic ultrasound on the mantle? And she's like, the weirdest thing to me is that like Lindsay's pregnant. So now like we're all pregnant. Like I have to get my shit together now.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Yeah, and so Paige is talking about how weird it is because, like, one girl gets pregnant and then it puts things in perspective with everybody else. And she's like, yeah, when Craig and I started dating, Lindsay and Carl started dating. And then they got engaged and they planned a wedding. They called off the wedding. She got a new boyfriend. She got pregnant. And I'm still dating Craig.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And all that's really happened is that I got Craig to get a new haircut. So... am I behind?
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
So, and it's also different because Lindsay's wants are very different. Lindsay was like, I'm getting married. I'm having a baby. This is my timeline. I want a balloon and I want, you know, I want a hot air balloon. Like she had all of her stuff and Paige is Didn't really like that.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I do think it's funny, though, that girls seem to have that like, oh, no, someone some one of my friends is getting married. Should I be getting married? Should I be getting a baby? When one of my friends gets married, I know that it's time to go to the BevMo and get the bar stocked because they're going to need somewhere to come complain about their marriage. And it's it works like clockwork.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
I prefer the one that goes... My sister said, why aren't you getting up? Because at the... credits or whatever they play that starts going i was like i'm sitting here and listening to this orchestra ma'am i'm an old person and i enjoy the orchestral highs that i'm getting from this this song thank you very much
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
um yeah and west is like i guess i'm without my bro for the rest of the summer so he's all sad um so he's like sadly singing like the reprise ballad version of what would jesse solomon do it's like
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
Do, do, do, do, do. So then back at the house, the girls are still talking and Gabby's like, so Lexi, am I catching vibes from you and Jesse? And she's like,
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
That was a really long paragraph to say nothing, Lexi. Say something, Lexi.
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#2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts
And then back at the bar, Jesse's like, wow, you guys, I can't believe how excited I am about this. I feel like I'm too young to need someone young and fresh to make me feel like more of a man. But apparently, I'm not. So I feel like I've entered kind of a new era of my life. It's amazing.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
But nevertheless, regardless, in this moment, in this conversation, the conversation should have just been like, fuck Todd.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Well, I mean, and she's excellent. Excellent on this show.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
She has substance as a housewife. She's great on the funny levels in terms of clapbacks and whatever. But there's stuff there with her that's interesting and you want to get to know more about her. So Bronwyn says, like, I adore Todd. I live and breathe by what Todd says to me. And by the way, I just want to also point out this entire serious conversation is happening during, like, massive swells.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Did you notice the boat was going up and then down and then up and then down? I was surprised they weren't all barfing. I kept on seeing the horizon rising up and down on my screen. So, she's saying, and I think I mean as much to Todd as any person can mean to him, but I think Todd means more to me than I mean to him. And Lisa's like, oh, sorry, what were you saying? I got distracted.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
So good. That's, that's the house. She's like, the heartstring is there. It's like, Bronwyn, you just have to pull it, pull the heartstring. This is a good story. This is a very, very sad story. But there's one last thing for you to do. You've got to reach out and you've got to grab that heartstring and you've got to pull it. I'm not good enough for anyone. It's like, yes, Bronwyn, you did it.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I love it. Made me feel very sad for her. Sad that she feels this way. And Heather's like, you know, you keep saying negative.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
An argument could be made that Heather was the asshole. Heather came for Bronwyn first, and then Bronwyn went on defensive, and then she got mad at Lisa because Lisa didn't defend her, and then she kind of just spiraled out from there. But an argument could be made that Heather sort of started it.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I think that Bromwood, well, Bromwood may have talked, again, I just don't think the talking shit is really, it was, I feel like in line. It's like when you're on a highway and everyone's going 70 miles per hour and the speed limit is 55.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
you're all kind of breaking the rules but you're doing it as a pack so it's all you're going with the traffic and i think that's sort of what she was doing and i think that she was thought she was kind of fitting in because she was like i'm on the show gonna mix it up just like be kind of shady and heather's like i can't believe she was shady i think bronwyn's a terrible person and then she started this campaign against bronwyn and then bronwyn at that point then like then went on her
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
because this is why she had a negative reaction to what when heather was coming at brahman earlier in the season the reason why she had actually such a reaction to it is because she has she carries this baggage of feeling like people don't understand her and that she doesn't fit in and here she was she having her first scene and she thinks she's having new friends she's gonna like mix it up like everyone else be a little shady and then heather immediately is like no i'm the queen bee of the group and i'm saying no you don't get to be here and
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
And it like triggers all these feelings of like, I don't fit in anywhere. I'm always the outside. I was the outsider. Bring him young. I was the outsider within my family, outside of my marriage. Like no one gets me. And once again, I fucked it up. And now it's like, then I think she just goes in war path mode at that point.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Like, it's like she becomes Carrie and, um, and she's been that mode ever since. And by the way, thank God. Cause it's been so fun for me at least.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
No, don't be more compassionate. I think it can be both things. She has been an asshole to people. She turned on Whitney and Angie, who were... like her friends all this season. She turned on them purely to show, to present.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Well, it was a gesture solely to show Lisa Barlow that she's willing to have Lisa Barlow's back at camp day, right? And so she threw those friendships under the bus. That's an asshole move. So she does do asshole things, which contributes to her being not accepted in the group. However, that's also her damage is that she feels that way.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
So she may... There's an interesting parallel here with Todd and here, which is that... And it's just an interesting... It's a commentary in general to how often we contribute to... situations that we're unhappy to. And that's why there is a thing called self-fulfilling prophecy. And again, I'm not saying this in a way that like, well, Todd cheated because of Bronwyn.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
No, Todd cheated because of Todd. And Bronwyn didn't deserve that. But like, but you know, the thing is that we all, every situation that we find ourselves in, we are going to have a reaction to. And a lot of times our reactions sometimes are counterproductive to the outcomes that we want, which is unfortunate, but that's also kind of like a human experience.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
It's like me eating Jenny's ice cream last night while simultaneously saying how I'm going to be getting into shape. It's time for a commercial.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
heather is probably the best i think i think heather is the number one speech maker on bravo because i'm just looking at this this speech it is a long speech it is a long intelligent articulate speech you know like you could make an argument that receipts proof timeline etc like she thought about saying that i had like ahead of confronting uh monica but this is an off-the-cuff speech and it's so good like heather really has a skill with this and you know what
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I'm doing the slow Bronwyn nod, which is her way of saying, I'm hearing this and I'm very Rachel.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
She's probably, I was going to say she might be number two. She's number one because, you know, the other great speech maker on Bravo is another Heather, Heather Dubrow. I think the Heathers have something. They know how to make a speech. They know how to just sit you down and look you in the eye and just like have a moment on camera.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
It turns out there's room for all the beans in the mall.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
yeah i didn't love this from mary this i thought the first the first thing she said uh i didn't it was neither were like great i i understood more the first one what she was kind of saying as we previously discussed this one like the only way i can understand why i should bring this up is if bronwyn's saying like i feel like i'm not understood oh because bronwyn just said i feel like i like him more than he likes me and so maybe this was meredith responding to that saying like look
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
He – I'm sure he loves you. He just doesn't know how to actually express it. But either way, again, I think in this moment, you just sort of have to not – you just – let's not stick up for Todd in this conversation. Maybe have a follow-up conversation and say, hey –
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
was thinking about it you know i was i i felt really bad that you said that you felt like you like your husband more than he likes you and maybe he doesn't have the tools to express how much he likes you so maybe you know like something like that yeah i think it was directly i think it was it was it was a response to directly her saying she loves todd more than she he loves her and i think meredith is just trying to make her feel better and saying
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I think Meredith's intentions were totally to try to make Bronwyn feel better in both comments that she made.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
If ever I need a good piece of fish, a good piece of meat, I am going to Whole Foods. It is without question the best place for me to find those sort of things.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
in a clip but okay robin's like from day one i've been called two-faced terrifying not a girl's girl a trophy wife a werther's original stealer that was actually todd who said that a gold digger this is okay the amount of that's been said about me before anybody has bothered to get to know me is insane it's so insane i'm gonna pulse my right eyeball at you
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
But this is why I'm saying that, like... This is why I'm saying Meredith should have said this stuff a little bit later, because when you have just said, turns out, Todd, there was infidelity, and I think I like him more than him, and then you have someone say, yeah, but he may... No, he probably likes you a lot. He just doesn't know how to do it. It sounds very much like...
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
it's like you just don't want to hear that you don't want to hear like no no let's have some empathy for todd right now so uh it's the the reason why mary should not have brought it up right now is because what she if if she's trying to say what we think maybe she was trying to say is such a subtle thing that in an emotional moment right now it's gonna get lost and it's gonna be it's gonna get used against you no matter what so like wait to have a more nuanced conversation later
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Yeah, but you know, on this show, you never really know what people's motives are, to be honest.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Also, LOL to me saying that they should have a nuanced conversation later, as if the concept of nuance has ever coincided with Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Salt Lake City, for Christ's sake.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
And Heather's like, Bronwyn, is that why you have so many dogs? She's like, I do have so many dogs. She goes, and the dogs adore you. I hear that every time a dog poops on your carpet, it's its way of saying, I love my owner. And Bronwyn's like, thank you. You know, we are shoving shit into all the cracks in my heart, Heather. Clothes, bags, dogs, literally bags.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I have this canvas tote right now, which is going to heal some wounds for me.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
so they hug her they get off the boat and everything and they go back to sprinter van and then uh lisa's like wow do you know what i'm like do you feel the same like that was interesting and meredith's like well i feel sorry for her yeah when todd sees this he's gonna lose his mind which i think that's what we're all thinking like what is that you have two reactions. One is the right reaction.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
One's the wrong reaction. The right reaction is to say, when I saw that Bronwyn that broke my heart and I just feel terrible that I, I made you feel this way and I'm going to do whatever I can to reassure you and prove to you that like, you're my number one priority. That's the right reaction. The wrong reaction will be, why did you, I can't believe you put that on TV.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
And Angie's like, Bronwyn, you are finally showing something. And Heather's like, we didn't even know any of that bothered you. We thought if we called you a fucking bitch gold digger two-faced slut, we thought you'd be down.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Do you know how embarrassing that is for me? Now everyone's gonna look at me like I'm a cheater. And I guarantee it was option number two that he took.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
By the way, Meredith, how are you feeling? Yeah, you were quiet on the boat. Yeah, well, I was not feeling great on the boat. At least it's like really nauseous. Yeah, a little bit of exhaustion more than anything, you know, a little nauseous and a little heartache. Not great, but I feel good now.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Everyone's like, what's going on with that right now? Now, listen, Meredith also has... meredith does not always do well on the first day of vacation let's not forget her first day in bermuda when she was like so you know she needs like a moment she loves a benzo on the plane basically is what you're saying she loves a benzo and a few of those little tiny bottles of wine on a plane and
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
You can anesthetize several chipmunks. So Bronwyn's like, and she's like, how are you feeling, Bronwyn? And she's like, you know, I keep wondering if I'm crazy or if I'm misunderstanding because like you guys saw when I was like crying about what I was sharing with you guys about my personal life.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
and when he goes i think that like when her intentions are good she doesn't quite know like even hold down even though her intentions are good she doesn't quite know how to do aqua aerobics i mean wait no what's the word listen andrew's like there is well i also have to point out
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
There's nothing overtly wrong. So then we cut back to Lisa drinking Diet Coke ominously. So now, like, Heather comes to sit down with Whitney and Angie and Bronwyn, and Heather's like, how are you feeling? Are you feeling better? Would you like another wonderful speech?
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Bronwyn's like, well, I was just telling Angie, the three of you were the most responsive and caring and inquisitive, so I appreciate that. Thank you. And, like, today, when I was telling you guys what's going on with Todd and I, it felt like Meredith said, well, maybe that's all Todd can do. Like, I should be fine with that. Like, that's the max. That's it. That's what you get.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Whitney, you exploited my pinata. Whitney, then Whitney says, I mean, you said probably like one of the most vulnerable things you could share. Watching Whitney try to get through the word vulnerable. Did you notice that? She goes, it was one of the most vulnerable.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
It was like one of the most vulnerable things you could share.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
she's like hold on little one i loved when she did that she was like i know she's like this is bronwyn's monologue okay she's been this is her getting the rose moment just let her have it you know i know bronwyn has stolen britney's moment bronwyn's like you know it would have been about the that's really important to me if anybody had asked me it's actually about the real that i've gone through with todd how hard it is to be a stepmom how hard it is for me to navigate being with someone who is older and successful and cranky
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
So, you know, so Whitney's like, yeah, they're sticking up for like, don't talk about it. Okay, I'll just stop you there, Whitney. Listen, it happened with Gwen and her grandparents too. Lisa kept saying, oh, they have this big house and they're so handsome and Gwen's dad is handsome and they're so nice and they're so beautiful and they're so wealthy.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
And that's like not how I feel about a family who in the past has denied or ignored or refused to claim or get to know my child. And Whitney's like,
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
yeah lisa has a hard time going beyond the sir line fists those things matter to her and it's they're important to her so she's like gonna point out like the image of like um can someone finish my sentence for me i don't have anything else to say to get to the period
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
There is something going on and there's a reason you're over here in our villa. And maybe when you're having that moment, maybe she didn't take it as serious as it is. I don't know. Where's the tzatziki? Am I right?
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Yes. And Mary is saying that, you know, when she found out about Robert, she had to do something. So we see a flashback. It's a really nice flashback where she's basically like he's going to be going off to rehab. She found a facility. She was she prayed over it. She found a facility.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
And what she's most happy about is that he wanted to do it and that he was ready and that this is his choice because she can't make him, you know, want to change. It has to become from him. So we see a really lovely scene of, of, of her. He gets into a van, they go off to, she gets him situated in, in rehab.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
And it is, it is, it's a nice scene and we just have to have our fingers crossed, you know, cause we know that's just the beginning of a very long journey for that kid.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
and still uses a Palm Pilot. Have you ever tried to text someone with a Palm Pilot? It's awful. And the infidelity too. That's probably number three on the list there. I mean, we have infidelity in our situation.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I have a prediction for the reunion is that Meredith is going to say, when I asked you why your day late, you didn't share with me. And it really hurt my feelings that you couldn't share with me about Robert. We've been so close for so many years and that you wouldn't share the thing with me. And I've shared so much about Brooks. It really hurt Mary. I guarantee that's going to be a moment.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I was shocked by how darling I thought this was. This was so sweet when Mary walked in and how happy Angie was and that they did run into each other's arms. It reminded me of seeing a cheesy video on Instagram about a soldier coming back from war and he surprises their kid or something like that. Or someone being reunited with their pet.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
You know those sweet videos where they play cheesy music and you wind up crying on social media.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
the waiters are dressed as different letters like one guy comes out as like a v one guy has an eye they're so jealous of the eye guy because he basically gets to have his arms like tattoos with letters on them so lisa's just talking about how like you know this is where they grow their they grow all their the the stuff for the the piñas for the tequila etc etc and vita means life
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
And then Whitney, Whitney has the balls to say, it feels less like I'm stepping into a dinner party and more like I'm stepping into a cheesy Vita tequila commercial. Like how many prism events have we had to sit through on this show? Whitney, come on now.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I love a good starter salad. That should be like a yearbook quote. Lisa Barlow, I love a good starter salad. So, and then Mary's looking at like, there's a guy, one of those like tomato and mozzarella, it was like a caprese stack. And she's like, oh, I want that. And Brittany wants salt and pepper. And it's like, and then Mary's like, where's my food?
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
No, wait, what is that? Did you mean stroganoff? What is that? There's no such thing as stroganoff soup either. Stroganoff soup? Do you know what's in stroganoff? And then Bonnie and Mary's like, oh, minestrone, minestrone.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I just want to say I did a quick Google search of pastrami soup and I've already got... Okay, here's some things that have shown up. Number one, slow cooker white bean and pastrami soup. White beans. And then there's another one called Reuben soup, which... That seems a bit, I don't know about that. And then French onion pastrami soup. Actually pastrami would be delicious in soup.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
It's like highly seasoned. It's salty, strong. I'm for it. I'm for pastrami soup.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
You're welcome. Call me Dr. Lowenstein. I'm listening. So, Whitney's like... Call her Henry. It's like her Call Her Daddy podcast.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
How are you feeling, Meredith? And Meredith's like, I am good. How about you? And Meredith is giving her this look like, what are you up to, Brittany? And Meredith also has like a lip liner or something. So she has like a sort of a strong outline on her lips, which makes it when she frowns all the more exaggerated. And Brittany's like, are you feeling okay? I am good.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
good because you were talking about being tired and i hope it's okay to say it but i heard you crying last night you know i mean it's like you're crying i was upset last night and i cried
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
No, I did not throw up. What I did was I emptied a vase into the toilet because I didn't like the color of the water. So what may have sounded like throw up. And at the same time, I also was trying to get a fish bone out of my throat. So if you heard water in the toilet, I'd be going, that explains it. Thank you. I was crying, too.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
And just to be clear, I was just telling you, it doesn't sound like you don't want her talking. It sounds like you don't want her talking about it. America goes, I appreciate that. And I was upset about the slot shaping, so I cried. I was because of slot shaping.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Speaking of pressure, how did you find out about the infidelity? So, Bronwyn's like...
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Meredith, do you feel resolved with me? Well, I have moved on emotionally now and I don't want to go backwards. And so Lisa jumps in and goes, I think that Meredith should say how she feels instead of saying, I don't want to talk about it. And she's like, Lisa, We agreed to stay out of each other's stuff and you need to stay out.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
And she's like, she's like, oh, oh, wait, don't tell me what to do and what not to do.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I don't get in the middle. I do not get in the middle. I was trying to help you fix things. Which actually, if you actually look at the quote that Lisa said and reading it back, we just saw it. When Meredith, Lisa was saying to Meredith, Meredith, you should say how you feel rather than saying you want to move forward. So that was actually Lisa saying, Meredith, you should say something now.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
She is telling me to make peace with you. And Lisa goes, you don't like that. I'm not agreeing with you. I'm not agreeing with you. I think you do start things. And when people react to you, then you're like, oh my God, you're the problem. And you missed the fact that you incited things. And when he's like, it's interesting when it's about your feelings, you want us all to care.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
But if it's our feelings, you don't.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Um, that doesn't make sense. And I don't get to be the dictator. But you know what I get to do? I get to protect my fucking self. And that's what I will always do.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
You did some fucked up stuff and you're lucky. You're lucky that I like even look at you or talk to you for the things that you've done to me. You're not a victim. You're a fucking lying bitch. You are, you are.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Yeah, why do you say stuff like I'll deal with you later or I'm not going to hear from you? Well, it's a constant nitpick. That's always an issue. Well, I'm trying to have a conversation with you. Yeah, well, we're friends and there's always an issue. And I'm like, exhausted.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I think that Bronwyn. Well, I think that Bronwyn, you have been tough on the exterior and you've divulged more in this group than a lot of people have in years. And Lisa, I just met her and I know more about her marriage than I know about your entire life in one hour.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
this really hurts lisa and this one this this is kind of hurtful and so lisa's like i just can't believe like angie saying this to me like we used to be so close i share with her so much i was like i went to wendy's today or like i went to taco bell today or like i got a diet coke today i like tell you all about the things i ate and like why would you say that's like not real like what like you want me to say i ate a salad i do love a good starter salad though
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
So Lisa's crying. And then they're like, why are you crying? And she's like, it doesn't matter. And I was like, it does matter. She's like, I'm fucking going home. I'm home. So Lisa gets up from the table and cries off and it's like, oh my God. And then Mary just looks at the camera and goes, what happened to dessert?
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Bye. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Dana see, Dana do. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickless. Jamie, she has no less namey. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. The Bay Area Betches, Betches.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony, Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
so um so gwen caught that's terrible that gwen had to be the one to catch him like that's awful and also if you're on a trip you're on a family trip and you're gonna be texting with your mistress on a trip of all places when you're like when you have when you got bronwyn and gwen in close proximity like not only is it shitty that you're a cheater but you're also a bad cheater so whitney's like oh no
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Ring that bell for Rochelle. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I love chocolate. If you're in a hurry and forgot something or simply want to avoid the holiday crowds, relax. Order everything you need for a great holiday gathering online at Whole Foods Market on Amazon for easy pickup and delivery.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
And Meredith goes... And Bronwyn's like, yeah, so Gwen came to me and I confronted Todd. And she says... I thought this was funny. This is supposed to be... This is a serious moment, but I thought the implication here was funny. She's like, the truth is...
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
my relationship is just as hard as everybody else's in its own ways and has its very own very very low lows they were very hard for me and this is the side of the girls this is the side the girls have yet to see but i want them to understand that i bleed the same way as they do i cry the same way it's like i may be very rich and i may be much smarter than them but i too bleed yeah the implication is i know i'm much better than these people but in some ways i'm just like them celebrities they're just like us
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Guys, I just want to announce that Jared has also cheated on me. I'm sorry. Yeah. Okay.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
i found out in the costco five minutes after he committed to me it was with the lady serving the chicken nugget samples they were serving the lady you serve it gave him an alouette sample and she looked over his shoulder and saw that he was actually just making out with the lady giving out the silk chocolate milk samples it was a very blatant cheating
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
i was gonna say let's not let todd off the hook with this no excuse god is not of this no this we're laughing because we're idiots no no we're laughing i'm just saying like because we're laughing and like we might we run the risk of just moving on but like we need to dwell for one moment on this this bullshit of oh well you know in business i'm always looking for the next deal so um you know i just naturally i'm always looking for the next thing that is the biggest line of bullshit that in no way explains
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
gets lets yourself off the hook by saying your business instincts are so good that it carries over into your erections no that doesn't that's just not a thing and a if it is a thing you're basically saying you're treating bronwyn like a business transaction so all of it is wrong in so many different ways well it's also wrong in that if he's going to compare it to his business palm pilot was the one that was replaced by something better
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
He's not, he seems to be looking, he's doing a better job at looking forward with his boners than he is with his business. But that's a terrible, terrible excuse. And the fact that like Bronwyn is like, well, you know, with Todd, he just, he's just always looking for the next thing. It's like,
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Netflix's new series, No Good Deed, follows three families vying to buy a 1920s Spanish-style villa that they think will solve their problems.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
And Lisa's like, wow, it's literally 100 percent his fault. I just want to point out it's 100 percent his fault.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
This is like shacking to me. Like, I don't even know what goes on behind closed doors, but I've known Bronwyn for years and all I've seen from her is like how perfect her life is. I mean, she just lives a charmed life. Dog shit everywhere. Grumpy husband. It's like exactly what you would want. And you know, she talks about how much she loves Todd and how good he is to her.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
So for me, I'm just like processing everything and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is like kind of hard to believe.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
No Good Deed, starring Lisa Kudrow and Ray Romano, is now playing only on Netflix. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I feel like it's... That's the correlation. It's like you're powerless and you have no voice in one very important part of your life. So now she's like... That's why she's, I think, a little bit extra because she's kind of like... vomiting out her voice, right?
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Like she can't really say how she feels with Todd because she's afraid that she might cause him to cheat again, which is like, that should not be her responsibility for him acting like a grownup.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
And yet, so then when she's around people, like everything that she's repressed to keep on the inside in one arena, she just spews out in another arena because this is this place where she can be like, ah, you know? I get it.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
Yeah, I mean, like, you know, ultimately, Whitney has a pretty good point here. Because Whitney says, it's so cringy to me that Lisa and Meredith are choosing to, like, have Todd's side. Like, in this moment, we just need to say, fuck Todd. Like, that's it. And I think that Whitney is actually correct. It should be just fuck Todd.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
And honestly, there's so much to watch on Max. From True Detective, The Last of Us, Succession, there's really so much that I would want to watch while I have my DoorDash deliver me stuff.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
I think that what Meredith is actually saying, though, is, like, in these situations, I think that there's, like, a negative feedback loop that happens. which is that Bronwyn starts acting a little unnatural because of the dynamic, because of, because of Todd. And then she's acting unnatural, which is then he is going to react to that. There's like that self-fulfilling prophecy.
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#2662 RHOSLCS5E14 Part Two: Todd Bedfellows
And so then he's probably like, that's going to create like a, it's not all on her. I'm just saying that like both of their behaviors contribute to a negative feedback loop where they're going to kind of drift and have weird communication. It's not Bronwyn's fault, but like, The point is like the cycle of that communication needs to be disrupted.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
She's like, okay, whatever. And they do have the exact same hair. I like the part in the car where she, Sammy's like, or Lola's like, I just got my nails done. She's like, let me look at them. Not my favorite. She's like, well, that's just because you don't like bright colors. And she's like, yeah, I do. Look at my nails. She gives her the middle finger. I love these two kids. These wacky kids.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
There she is. Hey, lady. Denise is like, oh, God, fuck. So, Erica, I'll never forget my first year knowing you, which is kind of a lie because I've forgotten most of it. But this part I do know. We had so much fun, Erica, didn't we?
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So we see the flashback of Denise calling Erica into a coffee shop because she was talking about threesomes where her children could hear. This might be why Sammy's on OnlyFans for all we know.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So it's going to be a journey for us. It's going to be a hard-nippled weekend and I'm very excited to see you guys out and about. All right, let's get to Denise Richards and her wild things. We open with Denise and she's like, yeah, you know, I've never said no to taking in an animal.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
And this is how you make up. You just forget that half of the stuff happened, right? Because the way they retell the story, it's like, oh, she was talking about threesomes. Denise didn't like that. But what Denise really didn't like was she said, please stop talking about threesomes around my kids. And Erica said, they're already having threesomes, honey. how old are your kids?
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
They probably already had them or something like that. And that's why Denise got all pissed off, but they just leave that part out so they can make up.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
And maybe a really awkward weed party where someone accused me of wearing my coat upside down. Now that bitch, I'm not forgiving.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
You got a lizard?
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Yeah, and she's like, yeah, you know, we're having a memorial for, you know, Godzilla.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
I was married to a lizard. I'm not going to have a memorial for that motherfucker. Do you know what he did to me?
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
And all these photos. My favorite is there's a sign-in table, and it has a photo of Godzilla, and then next to him is a photo of Stevie Nicks. Yeah. And Brooks shows up. She's like, oh my God, this is amazing guys. Thank you so much. And Denise is like, ah, did you guys get around my Brooks Jewish? Oh my God. Wait a minute. I'm about to do something for a Jewish person. Oh no. Oh my God.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
My friend calls me Snow White because the squirrels all come around, but I think we can all agree I got better tits. The squirrels say so anyway.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the crap, yay, God. I'm done, nailed it. And Aaron's like, I'd like to say something. You know, this guy, he was a fucking lizard. And lizards are, you know, badass. So I was like, wow, you're like badass. Because you're a lizard. So...
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
thanks brooke's like yeah you know he was a lizard and there were days that i just felt so bad and the only thing that would make me feel good was him and heroin but you know heroin's not dead so we'll get to that when we get to that but thanks gods loved you buddy
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Denise, they can't answer you. They're a TV audience. All right. Let's just assume they've seen them, unlike motherfucking Boulder Dash cocksucker.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So she jumped off a bridge in special forces and popped her implants. So she has to get new ones. Why have you not gotten new ones since? Did they just take the implants out? What happened? Aren't you just allowed to walk around with popped implants? What the hell? What the Yolanda Foster is this?
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
But I think it's funny that she doesn't even bother watching her mom's shows. She's like, what? That happened? She's like, it was on TV. God damn, Lola. God. So then we go to kitchen number one, townhouse studio number one. And Denise is turning her kitchen into a studio. Because I'm going to make cooking content. You know, my mom would laugh if she saw me being filmed cooking.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Because, you know, she wasn't a cook when I was younger. But here's me. And Aaron's like, yeah, she can cook. cook uh her videos are charming i've ejaculated to every single one so dicks out two days
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
You know, I just want to show people like I'm like you, you know, you just have to keep trying. I got the most expensive flower sent in from Italy. And I mean, I still haven't gotten it right. I mean, look, you don't have to get the most expensive flower from Italy, but you can keep trying. And that's the point. Every video is going to be a mistake that's never really fixed.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So will you know by the end of this video? Probably not. But you'll feel better about yourself.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So now she's making her video and her kids are cracking up at her and she's like, Sammy has to be the egg cracker. And she's like, okay, Sammy, get a couple of yolks in there. She's like, oh my God, is that like the yellow part or like the orange part? Oh my God, I've got salmonella on my hands. And then we see the bowl of yolks and it's like half filled with whites as well.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
This is not going to go well.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Get some of the peanut squirrels things, throw them in there. Maybe at least they'll like it. All right, we're supposed to rest the dough for a bit, one hour, two hours, three hours, I don't know, something like that. I'm like, mom, how do we do this? So they wrap it up and then they put the dough in the fridge and she goes, okay, resting's done. She's like, mom, I just put it in there.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
She's like, well, we're going to fake it because it's the cooking show. So that's what they do on the cooking show. They just throw it in the fridge and they bring it right back out, right?
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Yeah. So then she is driving Sammy to a pre-op appointment in her Corvette. And Sammy's like, oh, my God, Mom, I, like, seriously have car sickness. I'm going to die in this car. I hate this fucking car, Mom. Why do you have to drive a stick shift? Car sickness. Why does everybody that age have car sickness? I don't get it.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
I've asked this before on this show, but it's like an epidemic of young people who have car sickness.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
And she's like, oh my God, I've wanted to get my nose done even longer than my boobs.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Yeah. And all the pictures. That's so cute. I like that in a person. Now, I don't want to go hang out at that person's house because it usually smells. But I love that they're that kind of person in the world. Because you know who those people are? They're the people who make Dodo videos. My favorite videos.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Teenagers are terrible. Yeah. She said someone commented just the other day that she'll never be as pretty as her mom. Like, okay, well then stop paying for my OnlyFans you fucking troll. So, um, Sammy's like, you know, I just think with my nose done, I'll look like more feminine. Cause like, it's like a really hard feature on my face.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
And Denise is like, oh my God, my daughter wants to get her nose doesn't feel perfect. Cause like she just wants her nose to be like my fucking nose. Like, sorry for having a fucking perfect nose. I can't believe my nose did this to my daughter. I'm just going to get my fucking nose cut off.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Welcome. Hello. His eyes are so frighteningly wide. He's terrifying. This guy's fucking terrifying. I don't know what's going on with this guy, but he's like, welcome to my office. Everything's going to go great. We're just going to fillet your nose.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So then back to the office, Denise is like, wait a minute. Does dad know not to tell anyone? Cause he'll tell people. She's like, um, I don't know mom, but if you tell Lola, it's like telling everybody. Okay. Cause she tells everyone everything. Like when I got my implants done, I told so many people, I got so many opinions. Like some people said go bigger. Some people said go smaller.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Someone suggested I get like Hot Wheels put in my boobs. Like what the hell does that even mean? I almost did it. I don't want anybody to know about my nose.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Don't trust a village. You know what? It trusts a village to fuck up your boob implants. You know, you have to be careful. So this is when the doctor's like, we're going to fillet the cartilage on your nose. And Denise is like, oh, wait a minute. Let me tell you, someone with a cooking show What do you mean you're going to fillet her nose? I don't know.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
He's like, well, you know, just we're going to fillet the cartilage. We're just going to shave it off the top like a layer of sushi. And they're like, uh, bedside manner. All right, let's work on that. Fuck.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
And they saw that she came home wanting smaller boobs. I mean, kids, am I right? We got her homeschooled after that. Yeah.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Yeah, so the teacher's like, okay, you're going to answer with a yes or a no, okay? Eloise, do you want to paint another pumpkin? Okay, why are you sending me an eggplant, Eloise? You're a very bad girl. Very bad girl, Eloise.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
The teacher's like, well, that explains the eggplant. God, all's well that ends well, am I right?
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
And the producer's like, well, what'd you think of those pictures, Eloise? And Eloise just starts cracking up. She's like, aww. Okay. So then we go to, um, Denise and Aaron setting up a backdrop because now she's, she's such a good cook. She's proved that she really is ready for a cooking show by not being able to make pasta two times in a row.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So now she's like, all right, I came up with another idea. I mean, people think Denise Richards cooking show boring. So, well, okay, here's what we're going to do. It's going to be called Only Pants, right? So I got these little pants. I'm going to put them over my boobs, all right?
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So then they'll be like, oh, you know, maybe if we pitch it and they don't like it, we can say, but pants over boobs. Who doesn't want that?
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So they do a photo shoot and Aaron's just saying things like, oh yeah, turn up the heat. Am I right? Fuck yeah. Yeah. God, some reason right now I want a fucking omelet.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
She's like, yeah, I'm glad my mom didn't come. And then it cuts to Denise holding pans over her boobs. She's like, yeah, you know, it kind of hurt my feelings. I mean, what mother, what good mother doesn't want to be with her when their kid's getting filleted? Sammy's like, yeah, if my mom was here, she'd be asking a bunch of stupid questions. Roll the tape of stupid questions.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
We've seen the doctor. She's like, what do you mean by filleted? All right. Do you have a computer that does that? Do you do it? Do you ever blink? Because I haven't seen you blink.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So I didn't mind when I was watching him get his waddle cut off.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
What? She's getting a nose? That's crazy. Like, why couldn't she just be happy with her nose? I just don't get it. It's not even a big deal. It's your fault, mother. And she's like, I have no problems keeping secrets. That's why I'm shocked. I just slept. And Lola's like, yeah, telling secrets to my mom never ends well.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
And then we see Sammy go under for her nose filet. And dun, dun, dun. Will Sammy come back looking like... He who shall not be named from Harry Potter? Or will she come back with the nose she's always dreamed of? Or will the doctor give her what she really wants, which is just a big tit instead of a nose?
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Hava Nagila Weber.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
I was stuck on the pigs. Such cute pigs. And I still have such guilt about spanking my pig for two days. I miss him. Spanky wherever you are. I love you. I love that little pig. Even when he charged me and tried to murder me, I just loved him. So cute. I love an animal, like a pet that's like stomps their feet and then comes charging at you and tries to knock you down. It's like, that's my child.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Yes, we canna, it's Sedana.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Please don't make me get rid of him.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Oh, hello. Welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hello, Banuni Tunes. Hello. How's it going? Good. Welcome to the show, everybody. Today, we're doing Denise Richards and her wild things, episodes three and four. But first, come see us this weekend in Cincinnati, where we'll be recovering... Recovering.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Yeah, she goes up to the climbing instructor and she's like, all right, here's why we're here. I did a show called Special Forces. You heard of it? Have you heard of that? He's like, no. Okay, so someone without a TV. Wow, we got a reader over here. Good for you. So anyway, super physical. And one of the things I did when I started training was the rock climbing. So I want to do that again.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Do you have a JoJo Siwa here to carry Tom Sandoval through the rapids? That would be great.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was like Jojo Fanny.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So I don't know why people would do that for a reality show. It just sounds too hard. Like maybe special skills like you put on your resume when you're an actor, you know, like I tap dance or I roller skate or I can hold a peanut M&M in my belly button for four days at a time.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So they're starting to go up, and the climbing instructor is telling Denise, OK, just as nice and easy, think a dance. And Sam is like, oh, yeah, she can't dance. So she tried it, but it didn't work. That's why she had to become an actor. No dollar bills. Zero dollar bills.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So now it's Sammy's turn and the climbing instructor is like, uh, haven't seen a lot of climbers wearing hoops, but Hey, I guess it's a new adventure. And she's like, yeah, I don't go a day without my hooves.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So now they climb and then they- But then they do show a shot of Sammy and it does look like she's climbing with her boobs. She's got big boobs, so it looks like they're grabbing onto the thing. And so they climb it, and they still hate each other. You know, she's like, well, I'm so glad you girls are talking again.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So listen, I need your help, because, you know, Brooke, she wants to plan Godzilla's memorial now. You know, it's creepy. Well, it's like, what?
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
We'll be covering Summer House and then in Minneapolis, we'll be covering Southern Charm. And then in Toronto on Sunday, where we will be doing the classic Real Housewives of New York episode, December Berkshires County. For all of our ticket links and schedule for everything else, go over to watchwhatcrappens.com. We're going to be on tour the next few months. And we're excited to see you guys.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Yeah, you know, he's scary when you first see him. He's a fucking huge. He looks like a dragon. Well, we had him for nine months, and then he passed, you know. I mean, I didn't know what I was doing, but I learned. I made him a general store, a mall to go around in. You know, he didn't really get along with the squirrels too well. We don't talk about that part.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
But, you know, he had a primary suite, a balcony. Oh.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Brooke, have we not done enough? We took care of your fucking lizard while you were in rehab. The nerve. So now she's like, yeah, guys, you want to do a memorial, like plan something for him? That would be great. Brooke's an odd cookie, too. I'm glad they included Brooke on their show.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So Lola's like, but like, I don't even feel like I'm meant to go because like, I didn't ever hang out with Godzilla ever.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
But yeah, but obviously if it was a person, I would go, but this isn't a person. No, just don't say it's a person. Just say it's a memorial and you gotta go. Come on. I mean, they're not going to tell you you can't go to a memorial. You know, what kind of cookie hut is this? Hmm.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
None of the kids, neither of the kids even remembers that Brooke was married to the dad, Charlie Sheen. She's like, wait. And then Sammy goes, yeah, wait, was she married to him? And she goes, yes. You didn't know she was married to your dad. Come on. And she goes, you were there. She goes, how old was I? You were young. I don't know shit. I don't know. Clearly, honey.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Clearly, you don't know shit.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So Denise is going to have these wacky kids put a funeral together and that's going to be their bonding thing. You know, it's like, well, you know, they're negative kids. Give them a death. Maybe that'll bond them. I don't know. She's like, you know, any opportunity to work together, I'll help them get over their shit. So good luck.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
And Aaron's like, but hey, how come whenever we have to help somebody, we're the ones that get stuck? Hey, why don't you stop your bitching, sir, when your whole family is living in her Malibu home?
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
She's like, wow, my lizard's dead. Okay. Now I get a trailer full of this fake Western town that you guys built him in a penthouse. Great.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Also, on Patreon, you can get our Traders Recaps, our Airport Snaps Recaps coming to you soon, and all that good stuff. And also videos, which we're on today on Crappin's On Demand. So what's going on with you today?
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
She's like, um, no. But I want to fix my hair. No. But my hair's not dirty. She's like, um, it's a Mason Pearson brush, so.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
So Sammy's like, yeah, you know, mom had this like weird habit of accessorizing Godzilla in all her pets. She makes them wear wigs. See all these pictures of this lizard and little tiny wigs that she had made for it. Little sunglasses.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Your first call should have been to Jesus, our Lord, okay? And your second call could have been to me. And Sammy's like, well, I think I'd like to have a word with him then. She goes, you don't need to do that. And Sammy's like, yeah, I'm very overprotective of my sister. If any guy doesn't respect my sister, I'm going to knock him in the nuts. And I just want her to do that for me.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
OK, but that was her friend first. So I know that you're trying to make this huge. Like, I'm the better sister because I stand up more. But no, that was her friend first. Sorry.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
I'm Team Lola. So now they go to a frame store and they have had a picture of this Gila monster thing blown up. And, um, they're, you know, going to get it framed for this thing. So then, uh, the store owner is like, oh, an iguana. Is he, did he pass? They're like, yeah, but he was around for like 20 years. He's like, wow. Okay. Well, uh, how about this and this? I'll go get that done.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
And so Sammy's like, so do you want to do like a prayer? And she goes, huh? Oh my God, really? You think I should do a prayer? Me? A prayer? Oh my God, I could never do a prayer. I should do a prayer? Oh my God, it's my first prayer solo. Prayer, prayer. Oh, am I going to do a prayer? I'm going to be so alone. I'm going to have nightmares about this for days.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
It's like, oh Jesus Christ, read something off your fucking phone.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Yeah. She's like, but there's no like, there's no like prayers in the Bible for like lizards, but like I could still do a prayer for a lizard. And it's like, yeah, there weren't prayers for tacos either. He managed it. He'll be fine.
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#2762 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0103-04: Mother Nose Best
Getting ready for all the different climates. Yeah. different climates across this great land of ours. There's a lot of different styles of Old Navy to pack this weekend.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Yeah, that's all she needs in life is to play the piano at the summer house. And West hears that and he's like, do we wear shoes? That means it's a stranger. Wow. New people.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
She has Patti LuPone face creature with Patti LuPone face. She's giving me a little Joanna Krupa. I mean, I don't know. I think she's a beautiful girls and you know, this, this whole, this show is making fun of people obviously, but you know, they're beautiful and they seem really sweet and everything. So I don't want to go too hard on them, but these guys are active.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
No, let me just stick with this.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
don't want to go too hard on them but i will say this i do want to go hard on lexi's parents because they let her start that filling up your lip too soon her lips are flipping over on themselves okay parents if you don't let your kids drive don't let them start putting all that in their face when they're like four years old just stop already i mean a little but my god show some restraint but anyway the guys see these girls and they are like dads on the golf course at a country club whenever they're drink girls you know when the drink girls come around
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And the men are all like, Oh, Hey honey. Like they get off there. Their voice gets a little deeper and they try and stand up straight and pull in their punches.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I just felt it was very cringy. It's a cringy, it's a cringy moment.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
It's crazy. Yeah, they really do. And I think because they're both really tiny too. Definitely Bailey seems more together than Lexi. I mean, Lexi just seems like, whereas Bailey, I would trust to get me home at night. You know what I mean? If I was really drunk at the bars when I was younger, that's definitely a friend that I would trust to be around.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Whereas the other one I would feel like is off in a wood, in a wood somewhere, you know, just being giggling at spirits or whatever.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
They do. They come bearing groceries. I'm going to stick with my, I'm going to stick with my Muppet baby, uh, Danielle for her. Cause she's going to get the Danielle treatment this whole, this whole summer. I could already see it coming.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So where are you guys from?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
He's like, oh, why are all the hot girls from Toronto?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
He's like, yeah, dude, we're getting younger in this house. We're saying purr now. Purr. It's like your dad being like, whoa, that lady's a mother.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Wait, that's actually kind of sick. That's so per. And Jesse's like, wait, Lexi Wood? What's your middle name? She's like, Diane. He goes, oh, I thought it might have been gives me.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So they go back inside. I can't. I can't. I both want to tell this girl just to be quiet and also to tell her to run. Run quietly. Run quietly. Get in my van. We're going to your parents' house. I know. And she's like, not that they do anything. Her mom's probably sitting there waiting with a syringe at the front door.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
She's the new Danielle. They're giving her, she's baby Danielle. It's like they're doing Muppet Babies and that's the Danielle version. A perfectly gorgeous girl who's just going to get completely ignored because she's not blonde, basically. Yes.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Well, that's where your parents hide in all the respect names that they don't want anyone to actually call you, but they don't want their parents to be pissed off. Like my middle name is...
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I just feel like you need to give your daughter a stronger name in, in today's culture. You know, it's like a big, bad culture out there and we need like strong, we need people with like strength. You know what I mean? You don't need something so agreeable. Like, will you do it? Lexi would. I just, you need something stronger. Like won't. Just, just rename yourself to won't. Won't. Oh, I see. Yes.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So that's awkward. So they go inside and she's like, how many of the humans are here? And he goes, how many of the humans are here? Oh, my God, that's hilarious. How many humans are there, West?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
uh so anyway we'll get to that but um everybody thanks so much for supporting the golden crappies official streaming ending day is valentine's day the 14th tomorrow so watch it or it's over but good news we'll still be live we'll be uh going on our mounting history tour actually we're already three weeks into it uh and we've been having so much fun meeting you guys and hugging you guys even the one that gave me the flu even you
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So I think they're going to be like, they were very nice. So we don't look like a bunch of, you know, a bunch of assholes, but you know, that they wanted to put them on the grill.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So she's not trying very hard, is she? Because she's like, well, I met one girl at an event and then I met the other one through a friend. So she's not claiming them like a housewife would. Normally housewives are like, oh, I've known her for like seven years and she's like the best thing ever. I'm like so excited she's here. And Amanda's not doing that. She's just like barely met them.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I'm surprised one of them wasn't like, how about female? Can we call you female? So she's like, oh my God, are you holding my hand right now? Thank you so much. She goes, yeah, of course. I would do anything for you. So then they go greet Kyle and Amanda and West offers help with the bags and Amanda just leaves and she's... And poor West.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Basically, the rest of the episode, since he got clobbered at the reunion, has to bring in everybody's luggage.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Oh my God, you guys, I'm sorry you were stuck with these two schmucks. The boys were actually very good hosts. So don't worry about it. So then Paige and Sierra are coming and Sierra's like, last year we were like, maybe I'm in my toddler era where everything is just like, no, yeah, need a nap. Like shut the door.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
He's like, oh, I'll go last. So he gets to the end of the line and then Sierra comes up and he tries to hug her and she just kind of like puts her hand on his chest and moves him away. So then Jesse's, they have shots or something, or they're hugs basically. And Jesse's like, oh my God, you're so hot, Sierra.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And then Amanda is asking Kyle for a limoncello and he's like, yeah, okay, Wes, let's go have some man time. So Wes is like, oh, my God, get me out of that room. It's going to be a long summer, Kyle. Like, I tried to hug her and she just slapped my arm away. He's like, oh, really? You know, Diplo has a song called Sad Summer.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Kyle's already promoting his new business as he hands off one of his branded drinks. He's like, yeah, Diplo, Diplo. Sad summer.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
He has Limoncello and then he's a DJ now like Diplo, so.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
In March, we'll be in Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, D.C., and Philly. And that's just in March. We've got a bunch more dates, too. If you want tickets for those or other dates, go to watchwhatcrappens.com. If you want Traders coverage, we are doing that over on Patreon. That's also where you get our videos like today's.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Diplo, bro. It's Diplo, bro. Diplo, man. Get my brand. Diplo, man. So if my girls are talking and Amanda's like, oh my God, when you guys walked in, Wes said, I'm going to go last. Isn't that hilarious? Yeah.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And Sierra's like, well, last summer me and Wes had a thing and it didn't end well. And so it's like, he's still doing the New York Times articles and shit. And I don't appreciate it. And then it goes, yeah, he's running his mouth. So yeah, I'm like, you're like a little bitch boy right now. And so Paige was like, yeah, so that means we're going to all accidentally drown him later. Are you in?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So then the producer is like, but did you come in here thinking there might be a chance to get back with Wes? And she's like, I'm not even answering that. I'm not doing that to myself. No way am I going to make myself look stupid. So whatever. But, you know, then don't.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So now the guys are in the backyard and they're talking like about Carl and Lindsay and are they gonna hug? Oh my God. And then back to the girls. And Sierra's like, basically the general consensus is that we hate boys.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Why is it always the girl that everybody ignores knows everything about horoscopes? I just feel like that's such a sad way to try and get into every conversation. Like, oh my God, you guys, I have a newspaper, and in the end there's horoscopes. Anybody want theirs? Amanda's like, well, scoping out horoscopes. You're going to kiss somebody. What horoscopes?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
You can watch our video recaps instead of listening on Patreon. Or if you want to wait a week and watch them later or watch a back catalog of anything, just head over to YouTube and they are free there. All right, let's get into her, shall we, Ben?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
yeah lots of hug big hair don't care etc etc and now they're talking about rooms and who's gonna get what and um sierra's like so jesse you've already hugged me and he's like i know i just wanted another one so he hugs her again and then cut to west bringing in all the luggage more and more and more and more luggage it's never ending luggage
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So then Sierra is talking to Lindsay and she's like, isn't it weird to be back here?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
um carl's just trying to be soft again trying to enter this he's also trying to have an entrance you know he's like the big the big dramatic entrance is carl because it's gonna be a lot for him it's gonna be a lot for carl poor little broken carl it's gonna be really difficult guys it's like a lot bro
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
yeah let's do it let's get right into the new season of summer house yeah a lot of questions about this one because uh lindsay is entering the house pregnant and so the questions are what are we going to do with a pregnant person inside the summer house i didn't know but we find out real quick and it's make carl extremely uncomfortable yeah whole it's really uncomfortable here
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So they all cheers, and Amanda's like, guys, for dinner, I have a guy coming to do a bhaji in the backyard. Basically, every time Kyle eats, he throws his food all over the ground anyway, so I figured we'd make it the theme for the night.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
trickery afoot like in the in the best way like illusion illusionary that was happening and i want to i ain't here to judge ladies drinking i was born in the 70s okay you know what franzia was called fuel so baby fuel so whatever i my mom didn't even break water she broke a bag of franzia and now i spilled
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Yeah, so then Paige tells Kyle, where are you going to live so you don't cry about it, Kyle? He's like, hey, Amanda's the one who made the decision. I'm having a good husband season. Yeah, so you're going to cry about it because of the light?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So- They take the primary bedroom, the one with the big log as the headboard. And so- Yes. It's the room that Kyle hates. So then we cut back to the kitchen and he's still talking about his eye mask to the girls.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
But doesn't he just end up with this new girl right away and then their boyfriend and girlfriend and that's it? I thought that was the end of that story. Is that really what happens? I thought. I mean, I don't know. I have no idea. He hooked up with this girl right in the beginning and that was it. You see him on Instagram all over the place. I don't know. Oh, really? I haven't noticed.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
But maybe. I don't know. He's kind of flirting with Sierra, but in a joking way. I mean, I can't tell. He's like, is this our season? Is this our season? And then he touches her hand at the top of the stairs on the luggage and he goes, oh my God, how did that happen? She's like, shut up. So then Paige is stuck down there. She's like, Jesse, I also need help.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So then Lindsay is in her room. Everybody finds our room basically. And Sarah's like, oh my God, we need to put a fridge here and a clothing rack here. I don't want to leave this room. And Paige goes, yeah. And they do not disturb sign right here. Yeah. So Jesse, are you going to talk shit now? Are you going to take a shit in our bathroom or what are you doing? And he's like, oh, just pissing.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
so then in her room lexi and bailey uh are talking about which kind of they have twin rooms and they're deciding which one to take and lexi's like do you mind if i take this room because the back one feels really lonely and i'm scared of the dark and she's like what yeah it's really scary
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
But where else would I eat my breakfast tacos? Old dog, new tricks. So yeah, I'm going to try and like move slow because like things, you know, strings tend to get attached. And Paige is like, well, she did say you were cute. She did? Nice, scored. Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh wait, I thought you were taking it slow now. I was like, no, I'm in love with her now, guys. I'm going to get a ring, so.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
uh so they laugh about that and then um he's like well can we just all be friends and she goes look we're gonna have a great summer individually and collectively and i'll clear maybe something up a little bit later but other than that i'm like fucking fine whatever so uh page goes um now run and tell your friends what you heard here go boy go commercials here comes one right now
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Do you think this same group of people can look around at each other and not ask each other, hey, did you get new boobs?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Hang on, I wrote a speech. I need to practice my speech, but I'm not really sure where I put the hashtags. Do I say hashtag or do I say number sign? I mean, how do people do it now? I've got to get the sponsors in there. Kepi's like, just do it. Don't worry so much about it. I've memorized it.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So Wes and Jesse are in their room and Wes is like, bro, why are you already foaming at the mouth? He's like, oh, about Lexi? Like, I'm excited. She's hot. She's young. She's a string bean. She doesn't know anything. Like, I'm totally into her. He goes... but bro, we're supposed to be having our bro summer. And he's like, I mean, I don't even know if she's single. Like, don't worry about it.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
We're totally still bros. Bro summer over. Bro summer is over, okay? And of course, Kyle's in there setting up his DJ, his Diplo moment. And then Paige and Sierra are talking about Lindsey. And they're like, do you think that Lindsey's pissed that Carl's coming? And she goes, I don't know. I meant to ask her like, what's your vibe? But then I would have had to like talk to Lindsey, so.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So now outside, Alexa, I mean, Lexi, Bailey, and Amanda are putting out chairs and making a sabachi table, and Gabby comes out in stiletto heels, and they're like, do you want to help? And she's like, no, yeah, I can't do that, because that's like work, but I will be inside pouring shots for people, so if you want that, come inside. Yeah.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So then West is like, oh my God, girls are carrying the chairs. That's such a bad look, bro. Oh my God, how am I going to get laid? I'm against Jesse again this year. I better carry things. I'm the caring person. Hey, does anybody think carrying things is hot? Because I can carry things. Look at me with these chairs.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
He's like, so you guys single? And I was like, well, I'm kind of talking back to this guy in the city, but like, you know, that's your suitcase I have, which I didn't realize it.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Paige lifting a suitcase as big as her body. Let's see if it works. Actually, much larger than her body. It's a huge suitcase. And Sierra's that kind of friend, like me, who just sits in the front seat and goes, do you need help? Do you need help?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Yeah, because Lexi didn't look. So he's like, this is going to be bad for you. So then Gabby is like, we're going to do a toast in the living room. So Jesse's like, where's the living room? So they go in there and Paige goes, living room? We do McDonald's in there. That's not the living room. So they go and Lizzie's nervous.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Wes is like, so are you drinking or not? Because I read online that you're like preggers. She goes, yeah, I read the rumors.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
the dust bowl and mama said pull the wagon over and they're like oh my god lindsey jesus christ and then i dated the man who invented hamburgers it was crazy i thought he was lying but then he decided to not put pickles on him and i said who wants a hamburger without pickles guess who won that one and then i just remember that one date i had with a guy and it was interrupted because we finally landed on the moon
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So she goes through every man in her life, and we see the scenes of like, when have you ever made a sandwich for me? And we see all of the Lindsay's greatest tan moms. I got the taco contract. Oh yeah, ever? You slept with somebody and you're a bad boss of mine? Well, I'm gonna sleep with 10 guys, men, real men.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
You guys, Mickey Mouse was much sexier before they colorized him.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So fortunately I was too old for Charlie Chaplin, but he really knew how to play the piano.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So he's like the vampire of summer house. He's just been around for hundreds of years.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Mickey Rooney is from, no, Mickey Rooney is from, isn't he like an old-time movie star? Oh, Mickey O'Rourke is from The Wrestling.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I was the first one to recast Darren. So they're like, wrap it up, Lindsey. Lindsey, wrap it up, laugh it up. Carl goes, eight years ago? Oh God, we're going way back. Buckle up, people. We got a lot of ground to cover.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And they're like, what? And so they all cheer.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Well, he's at a party and he's now with people with babies, you know? I mean, last year it was married people. Now it's people who are pregnant and about to have babies. So he's like, uh, it's just weird. Like there's a pregnant lady here. I'm concerned about Carl's going to feel about Lindsay, like being pregnant. I mean, God, just yesterday they were talking about having babies.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I just want them to be friends. I don't know if it's possible. So they're asking her how many weeks. She's 18 weeks. They're asking if it's a boy or a girl.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I am still in talks with a gender affirming coach who's in talks to sponsor me. So I'll let you know as soon as the money comes through.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
You won't know until you bite through the crackle top.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So she says that she was pregnant at the reunion and to prove it, she made a whole video of her pouring out a bottle of Cristal and pouring non-alcoholic beverage in there. And I love that she made like a whole video of hers. I mean, Lindsay is too much, man. So Gabby's like, wait, she didn't have any of that? And she poured it out?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I'm sure. That baby's probably, that's a summer house baby. That baby's in there like.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Why do you hate their car? What are they driving this year? Every year it's something new. What is it this year?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
They're like, look, this baby has a big ass dick. I will say it does look like the baby's doing a giant shot. Did you notice that? It looks like they're pouring like a giant shot down the baby's throat.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
To me, it looks like popover dough in the oven. You know how when you turn on the light. Or that, or that. You keep turning on the light and you're like, oh, you're nothing. What's even the point of you? You took all this work and you're just fucking useless. It's not, you know, it doesn't really matter until you pull it out the oven covering.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Yeah. Same principles apply. That's why I chose popovers. So, um, but you know, great.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Pass them around when they're here, but until then, I don't want to hear about it. So, um,
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I don't want to hear about the journey. To me, it's not about the journey at all. The journey sucks. It's about the destination. Otherwise, why would I have made the journey? I hate that. It's all about the journey. Oh, fuck off. So we go to Lindsey and Gabby in Lindsey's room and Lindsey's like, let me just call him real quick. She's like, Hugh Hefner estate. I'm sorry, wrong number.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I've really got to get my dates in order. Clark Gable's estate.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Now you're not cheap. Now you're not so cheap. You'll get a cell phone.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Um, maybe let me see. They're always driving like a hundred thousand dollars and over cars, you know? So I always like them. I think they're, you know, I just think they're fancy.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So, um, don't forget to slather the jelly right on top of the peanut butter. Do not put it on one side of the bread. That's the wrong way.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Yeah. So then now we go to Paige and she's like, wow, you know, I'm not ready for kids. Because right when she said she was pregnant, I had the thought where I was like, oh, God, thank God it's not me. Thank God. I had a moment where I was like, wow, what a time to be childless.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
This post contains more hashtag fireworks than the hashtag 4th of hashtag July. We are hashtag pregnant.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Yeah, because we invited her to come to the crappies and she was, I was like, I know you have a baby, but, you know, bring it. We'll let Dolores hold it.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And we were like, yeah. And then she never wrote us back. So I didn't know if that was because Luke had done it or because she was like, oh, it's you dicks.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
She's just going to insist the baby is British. They're like, I don't think you should name your baby Crumpet.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And I was like, Kia dream alive.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So they're laughing because this is a sponsored post. I mean, this was a funny post. It's like, look at me. It's like clear blue. I found out I was pregnant on clear blue while eating hashtag 31 flavors.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Just this kid in big sunglasses laying out on the lawn. So then we find out about Lexi.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
How is it that Lexi seems at least 20 years younger than Jessica?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
How is it? It's so weird because he's like, yeah, hey, little girl. I'm just like, roll up the window of your van and drive away, sir. No one wants your creepy fucking ice cream. It feels like that. I don't know why. It does.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And he's very childish for his age, so it should work out. I don't really understand what's happening, but it's creepy.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I was going to say, what are you looking for a free Kia for? You already got it. I don't know.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I mean, no offense to Kia, but let's aim a little bit bigger. I mean, come on, BMW, come through. We'll take one of your electric buses. Jesus. Like that would never happen anyway. We didn't even get free shit from McDonald's. I mean, come on. Not even a Happy Meal?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
That's so crazy because that's when Summer House was airing. So this guy's like dating her while that craziness was airing on TV. That's a lot. So Sierra's like, wait, so he just randomly texted you?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So yeah, I mean, she told him no at first, cause she was busy, but then she did and there you go. And the hibachi guy interrupts to see who wants which balloon hat or whatever, which I felt kind of bad for Danielle when they had another balloon guy.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Listen, Lindsay knows what she wants. She was ready. She was willing to settle for Carl. It's not like she was ever in love with Carl. Carl and Lindsay were like, well, we're both single. I guess we should do this. So they were willing to settle for each other. And she was going to go the distance with that guy. Until he broke up with her on TV.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Even after that disastrous summer, she would have gone through with it just to have the wedding and everything she wanted. So she was like, I'm done. This is what I want. I want a husband and a baby. Let's make it happen. Go. You're out.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
After dating for 276 years.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Or you just think what you want is a dream and it's not really there and you just are like, let's get it done. I'll make it work. And guess what? I'm willing to get married and I'm also willing to get divorced. Let's do it. She's goal oriented. But I think they're already broken up.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
are really oh wow that's the that's the rumor this week is that they're already broken well she said something like we've chosen to go separate ways but then she had another thing where they were taking the kid to the doctor together for uh vacs so everyone's like oh my god maybe they're back together so i don't know who knows but i'm sure it's rocky it's lindsay you know so then she also dated rocky i'm the squirrel
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Your horoscope's like, okay, you're going to kiss somebody, eat sushi, drink wine, poop, maybe clean out the fridge.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Well, yeah, you'll see how much shit you can give to somebody that they'll actually take. So if they can take enough of your shit, then they're worthy, I guess. So he's like, yeah, I don't know you well enough yet. I was just trying to find out. Like, I take it back about you being ditzy.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Yeah. Smoking hot girl wants to put me in my place. That's so attractive. Like, look how she just put me in my place. Could we roll the tape?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So then we cut to Sierra and Paige driving, and Sierra's asking how Italy was, and she's like, did Craig come halfway through? She's like, Craig came like four or five days in, so it was just me and my family for the beginning, which was really nice, because I got to spend time with the love of my life, my mom. But then he came, and then me and my brother ganged up on Craig the whole time.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Lindsay obviously stays home and a bunch of the girls stay home, but Gabby goes out with the boys. It looks like Gabby goes out with the boys. And then we get Lexi and Bailey, the wild adventures of Lexi and Bailey doing just totally non-stereotypical things.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Like the show is trying to kill me. I know the show is trying to put me in an early grave. Why?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Bitch, hag. I hate her so much. So then late at night, Kyle comes in and he's like, oh no, it's not late at night. He's like, hey, should I go? Or am I going to annoy you guys if I go?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And Paige goes, and please leave the sunglasses here. You represent us all when you're out there.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Please fill our Sandleys. So then we see a flashback to three summers ago when Amanda's freaking out in the bathroom because Kyle was out all night and not calling her back. And so she broke all of his shit in the bathroom. So we come back and he's like, yeah, you know, like, I'm just like, I'm not going to go out so late.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And I just, I felt like she was always trying to control things, but my actions were really upsetting her. And so now it's about like trying to be a more respectful husband. So now instead of coming home at four wasted, I'm going to come home at two wasted.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Yeah, like, don't take advantage of me just because I'm hot and giggly. Is that what you mean?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
He doesn't realize how multifaceted I am. So far, she didn't take the ACT. She's terrified of bugs and she can't figure out subways. So yeah.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And every time he would talk, we'd be like, shut up, Craig! It was really fun. So, that was Traitors.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And Craig and Craig and I. How Paige judges her own maturity. She's like, I don't go to tanning beds anymore. So I'm basically a dame.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
well hello and welcome to what's what crappens we're a podcast about all the crap you just love to talk about on your bravs i'm ronnie and i'm joined by my friend confidant ally and partner ben mandelker hello ben hello how are you good how's it going over there baby
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I've got Dame Judi dance in a year. So then everybody's going to bed early, which is kind of sad because now you've got like competition in the house. So I thought they'd kind of overcompensate and be like, well, let's party harder. We're not old. But they're not. They're like, fuck that. We're going to bed. If this is our last paycheck, we will take it gladly while we're sleeping.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So then we cut to Bailey just flip flopping on her bed going, it's so bouncy.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Yeah, it's her youth. My body wouldn't move like that if you electrocuted me. Like it would just not do it. I was so impressed. So then the guys come home. Kyle gets home first, and then they all start kind of filing in. And they're still talking about Lindsay being crazy. And Russ is like, yeah, it's crazy, you know. So then Kyle, typical Kyle, wasted, comes home in bed.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And Kyle, you see Amanda check the time on her phone. He's like, baby, it's only two. Oh, hi, Kyle. He like needs her getting into bed.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And she comes home at 8.24 in the morning, 8.24, Gabby comes home. And she's like, this summer, I just feel like if I don't want to sleep in this house and there's someone on the roster who's 30 minutes away, I'm going, that's it. And he's not American because Americans are trash, so.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
It's like, bro, we're supposed to have bro summer. He's like, wow, I just, I'm here for you, bro. But I'm in love with her. So then they decide to have their first dunk. So they go jump in the pool together. And then everybody's gathering downstairs for breakfast. And they're like, oh, the ultrasound's still on the mantle and Carl hasn't come in yet. But of course, no one takes it down.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
They're like. Yeah. It'll be great.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Uh, she's like, it was so mentally exhausting. Like everyone was crying by like the second day. And she's like, yeah, I was locked away in a castle in Northern Scotland. Damn Arctic. I got 10 minutes of phone time every six days, but I couldn't even go on social. So basically I just looked at my texts and didn't respond. Typical.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
She's already branded her pregnancy on Instagram, hashtag hub cub.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
They're like, yeah, little hub cub. Oh, my God.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
No, that's when the baby asks for a raise in its allowance.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
It's so funny that now he's like the best husband of all time. Like, wow, you really did it. You really did it, buddy. So now Jesse's just like, guys, look at her. Look at her sitting over there. Isn't she hot? She's the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
like bro we can only see her ass yeah that's what i'm talking about bro it's supposed to be bro summer please stop falling in love he's like but i'm in love i can't help it he really is he's like it's just i think i love her
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
you've got a young fresh gorgeous sweet person who only wants whatever you say she wants i'm sure you do like her i'm sure you do man i can't she's amazing geez he's like yeah she got confused on the subway one time in paris i'm in love she's from canada she's seen toronto it's like so multifaceted So then Lindsay comes out in her suit and the guy's like, whoa, she really is pregnant.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And Kyle goes, yeah, not hiding that. Damn, geez. So then we're at the pool and they're talking about Lindsay's big boobs and stuff. And Kyle's like, well, Carl's going to be here. Like, I think we're going to do a little boy's day out maybe.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So Carl is coming and he's freaking out. Carl is already having a freak out. Carl looks more Quaker-y than he's ever looked. He looks like he drove up in a wagon. Like he looks extreme. He looks like he's going to start taping people's mouths because they're cursing. So he comes in and he's like, oh, I don't know about this. I'm nervous about seeing her. Like, I don't know how to operate in there.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And the producers are like, oh, come on, there's no guidebook, Carl. You're feeling confused. It's totally normal. All we're going to do is follow you around with these cameras and then edit this in a way to completely humiliate you again. So you'll not only live it now, you'll live it for the rest of your lives while you're not getting paid for reruns on Bravo.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Yeah, but I can see how the ex-boyfriend who was going to get married to her is a little bit like, oh my God, now I'm going to spend a whole summer with Lindsay. This is crazy. She's already pregnant. We just broke up. Oh, but you can't complain when you took that sweater back and then you see someone walk out of Marshall's wearing the sweater. Okay. You were the one who took it back. I'm sorry.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
She was waiting for the ratings, Carl. It's called doing her job.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
yeah whatever i mean i know that they were in a relationship i get that he's hurting but the carl all constantly being in pain and a little boy who needs to be sewn up is old it's an old okay and it's enough so and also you no one's forcing you back here you're you're back here on another drunken summer that's going to stress you out to get your paycheck which i understand like i understand that you want your check but you can't come into the house and then be mad at who's going to be there that's what the show is go home if you can't take it
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Yeah, you don't want to melt. Don't spread yourself on toast. Butter. Okay, so now... Hot toast, of course. Yeah, hot toast, yeah. So, well, who would say cold toast? Popover.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
well toast could have you made the toast and it sat out for a while no announcement temperature bad toast that's a bad maybe that's why people don't use the phrase so um pop over now um they're gonna go meet carl because carl is literally freaking out okay carl goes to the bathroom and he's like put your weight on me put your weight on me you look good by the way you look good by the way
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Soft, soft, softness and tenderness, softness and tenderness. Oh, a little water. I look great, by the way.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I was like, it ended. Just thinking about toast. You're like, but wait a minute. Sometimes toast is cold. I'm going to prove it. I'm going to make a piece of toast and leave it out. Show that motherfucker.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
That was my fault because, you know, there's so much like, hi, hi, hi. It's Summer House and it's a supersized. It just was like, okay, what really happened here? Carl had a nervous breakdown and then came out. And now it's the end of the episode.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I'm terrified for the children. Very scared for them. Yeah, all of them. The baby, all of them. The literal fetus, all of them. But I'm excited, you know, I guess, to see what happens. And it's definitely good to have Summer House back. Oh, there was a little clip in the coming this season on Summer House where we see it six months later with Paige. And she's like... Oh, really?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And Craig is just letting people accuse me of cheating on him? And I was like, bro, I saw you texting, I caught you texting two girls while we were together. It's like, dun, dun, dun. So I'm glad that they're starting to at least turn the narrative a little bit on that one, because that one's been making me crazy online.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
His whole bullshit online. So I'm glad to see them kind of turning the key on that. Turning the screw. Turning the screw. No, not turning the screw. That's upping the tension. Turning the page? No. Popping the over.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I'm getting him banished. Well, you guys already had your round table and he's still there at breakfast, so you just need to get over it at this point. I mean, listen, you have to do like the audience does and just reset at the beginning of every season. But I get that this is not that long after the reunion, so there's still sore feelings.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Yes, we canna, it's Sedana.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
But the worst thing to give him is more of your feelings at this point. He's gross. I don't even think he's taken a shower since the reunion. Just let the douchebag douche, you know?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
And plus it's going to look way worse now because you guys are going to be raging at him and they've brought in new guppies for the guys anyway. So yeah, it's not going to be a good look. So then we cut to the Hamptons and West and Jesse are the first there because they're still like first seasons, first season people. Well, also-
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
It's like, that really hurts my feelings, dude. God, dude, it hurts my feelings. And Jesse's like, wait a minute, but being roommates would be funny. And this is what's annoying about these guys. They're only thinking about the show. You know what I mean? It's like, well, that would be a good storyline. Let's do that. Let's go with a good storyline.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Going so well. How's it going over with you? Good. I'm getting over my cold. I'm feeling much better. I even did a couple push-ups today. What do you think of that?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
All the way. Yeah, of course. So then, because you're in a group house, so someone's going to be pooping on your throne anyway. I mean, there's no getting around it. Especially if they're on the first floor because, you know, that's where people poop. It's natural. You want to be closer to the ground.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Yeah. If we shared a bathroom, I'd be like, well, there goes Ben's improperly, you know, slathered jelly.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So then they decide that it's going to be the best storyline if they take the one with two beds. They're like, we're wacky. And Wes is like, yeah, I love a bunk bed room, dude. It's like funny. It's got the most giggles. I'm like, I love to giggle. Heart. Heart with my hands. Heart with my hands.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
He's like, it's such an emotional moment beating cancer. And that's like kind of reminded me, it's time to live, brother. So I'm sharing a room. And so then Jesse's like, yeah, the only issue, no J-ing. No J-ing, bruh. And Wes is like, do you J in the house anyway? He's like, never, bruh. He goes, yeah, I J in the house. He goes, well, maybe I J in the bathroom once.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Oh, my God. It's one of the new cast members of Summer House.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So he's like, yeah, my spatial awareness was off. That's what they told him. So he's like, yeah, I was caught off guard, I think. And I wasn't prepared at all, clearly. But her feelings are valid. But I just don't know how else I'm supposed to break up with someone. So...
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
everybody welcome to the show it is first day of summer house coverage 2025 season nine what will happen with carl what will happen with lindsey who let preschoolers into this house oh my god you are too young go home i'm worried for you i'm pulling up my white my white auntie ronnie caring van and throwing you in there these boys will ruin you girls get out of there
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
You should not fuck somebody when you weren't ready to be in a relationship after they told you they weren't going to fuck you unless they were going to be in a relationship and they didn't want to look stupid on TV. And then you turned around and make them look stupid on TV. And the second you didn't need anymore, you dumped her ass. That's what you shouldn't have done.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Don't make it sound like you were in some long relationship and you just didn't.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So, well, shams are useful. On pillows. I'll say that. He's just gross. So then Jesse's like, well, I heard a rumor, a girl's coming. I heard she's hot.
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
Oh, is it avocado and avocado?
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#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven
So then cut to newcomer Lexi Wood and her friend Bailey, who doesn't have a last name, apparently, arriving at the house. Bailey Danielle arriving at the house. Oh, gosh.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
It's like the same as we did. When you come of ages, when we have our 15 year old party at the church, we're like, who's got a wallet? Get in here and donate some money to me. Praise Jesus.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Yeah. You invite anybody you can to a bar mitzvah or any, like any teenage thing where there is like you, you donate money to the child. I will invite everybody. I'm like, dad, didn't you go to high school with people? Give them a call. Baby needs a new pair of shoes.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
unfortunately for me i we had a lot of cheap people come to ours i mean there were a couple 20 bills i guess in in that gift pile but there was i've talked about this before but one gift i will never forget was i got a book called if god loves me why can't i get my locker open god my mom wouldn't let me quote whitney rose god did that I was so annoyed. I was like, throw this away.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
My mom was like, you're not throwing that away. That is that is that is like antichrist behavior. You're going to keep that as a Christian book. And I was like, I'm not reading that. She said, you don't have to read it, but you have to keep it on your shelf so that other people think that you've read it.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
OK, you don't have to be a good Christian, but you better let other people think you're a good Christian. I was like, OK, geez, I had that book like till I was 20. I mean, till long after I'd moved out of my house, I just kind of kept it. So I was like, what if people see this on my shelf?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
It's not a catechism. What is it called? It's like your coming of age party.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Confirmation. Yes, yes. Confirmation. There's my confirmation.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
We didn't have to go to Hebrew school. We did have to go to Bible school and stuff, but then we had to serve time as acolytes and carry stuff down the aisle in the procession and stuff like that.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
It was not in Bogota or whatever. It was, you know, I did get to go to Juarez a couple of times, but that was mostly after hours and getting drunk. That was not church scheduled. Okay, it is sanctioned. Okay, anyway, so Angie is like, well, you know, I have not stopped crying since Meredith kicked me out of her event. It was cruel. It was demeaning. Obviously she is harboring old feelings.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
And so she's just, she's so upset that she was kicked out of a spiritual event in front of her mother, in front of her children, in front of the oil change guy.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Find sales on show-stopping proteins like Whole Foods Market Beef Brisket, Golden King Crab Clusters and Lobster Tails and their new organic spiral cut bone-in ham.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
You've got great arm strength. I thought it was really funny when she's like, well, I mean, Heather's plastic surgeon was there, so maybe that's why she invited us. Like, she doesn't have any friends. So she's like, how in the hell am I supposed to go to Puerto Vallarta with her? Because you're thirsty. You're as thirsty as the rest of them.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Don't act like you're not going to go to Puerto Vallarta. Come on. Yes.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
But there are some things that should stay drama free.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Healthcare shouldn't be dramatic, but lawmakers insist on attacking our rights to get the care we need and deserve.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
So then back at Meredith, Chloe's like, well, honestly, what it sent me was when Sean was like, Meredith, listen to both sides.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
And then she, it doesn't really, we see the flashback to Angie going, you need to, I need to get hearing aids like you or something, or check your hearing aids or whatever. And Samaritus is like, really? My disability? That's what she's coming for? And Brooks goes, girl, it's not a disability. It's your superpower.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
So then back at Angie's, it's a different time now. And Mary comes and she's knocking on the big glass door and there's nobody there. So she knocks again and there's still nobody there.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
It's her new thing, being outside of a window and knocking. They just put Mary in front of some glass and watch her go.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
It really is. And I think she's added some color because she got made fun of last year. So there's like little blobs of pink everywhere now.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
It's like Mary's house, you know, in level one. Before it just, like, by the end, it's like, what's that video game where you just splatter paint all over everything? I forget what it's called.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Yes. So Angie comes and she gets scared, you know? And she's like, oh, I was getting ready for you. Make yourself at home. I'm working in the kitchen. So she brings out some charcuterie. And Mary's like, well, I probably won't be eating anything because I don't have an appetite, but it looks beautiful.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Especially when it's told by a full cast like that. Like, it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Can't they literally put it down and go get water?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Except they at least got the lemon slice. These two just gave up. But this time they did. I know. Which was nice. So then now they're like talking about, oh my gosh, how do you pour this? And you know.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
One important thing in being independent is at least know how to make your breakfast.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I don't think salons that use sulfites do that.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I was so embarrassed for her. So they pour the champagne. And then Mary says she's been having a rough day. And Angie's like, did you really? What's going on? Because Mary doesn't tell her. She just goes, I had a rough day. And then Angie just nods and looks at her to talk. But Mary doesn't talk. So Angie's like, so what? What is it? So then Mary goes into it.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
And of course, the salties start immediately squirting. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Well, there was a lot that people, you know, reading comments about the scene from last week, you know, being on Reddit or whatever and reading all the comments, it was interesting reading them because, you know, there are a lot of people who thinks this is just, who think that this is just wrong because he really doesn't have consent. Because if he's high, then that's not really showing consent.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I mean, all of this, I don't necessarily agree with that. But they were saying like, shame on Bravo for showing this. And, you know, there's like that element of people who are mad, you know, obviously right to your opinion or whatever. Like there's a lot of sensitivity about it out there. I don't personally share that, but they were like, this is so insensitive of them.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
And it looks like Bravo actually was kind of sensitive and cut a lot of it out because Mary's retelling of it is like, You know how when your kids, you know your kids are acting weird and Angie just kind of looks at her. She goes, you know when they're not telling you something or when they're being quiet or when they're hiding something from you. And Angie's like, well, no.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Like I literally, I can pull up my phone and show you what Elektra is doing right now.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
just rolls her eyes at me a lot um but mary is like no no i asked him what he was doing and he told me and boy did he tell me and then she starts listing all the stuff he's doing and it was like wow and yeah heroin's in there and he's like yeah you know because i tried this i tried that and then um you know that led to other drugs like heroin and then xanax and acid and um
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Yeah, so I think Angie says the right things here, which is she just listens mostly. And then the only pushback she really gives is like, you know, you don't, this isn't about who's fault, like it's not your fault, it's addiction, it's a disease, you know? And you could do everything right and still have this happen, you know?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
And so Mary's not sure if she's going to be able to come to Mexico because of Robert. Like, she has to make sure Robert's good. And so that's that. And she basically says, you know, and Angie, I'm confiding in you. And she goes, this stays between us, pinky promise, which... I really hope that is.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I hope she doesn't be the real housewife thing, which is immediately going to everybody, being like, guys, Mary's under the weather. Be nice, because her son's on heroin.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Yeah. So then everybody's packing. Whitney's packing a pink bathing suit and cover up and stuff.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
And Justin's like, isn't that a swimsuit cover?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Brobs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Good. What's going on with you over there?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Okay. I've spotted two pink things and pointed at them to go together.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
And so then I'll never know what she's talking. Sometimes I'm like, what are you even talking about? What is the TSA doing? Nothing. So Bronwyn is like, wait girls, do I have a gift for everybody? I do, I do. Girls, everybody stop. I've got a gift for you. Thank you, gifts. And she bought them all diamond passport covers.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
And Lisa's like, this is weird. Cause Bronwyn called me to ask if she could bring something. Flashback, one week earlier, Bronwyn on the phone with Lisa. Should I bring something for the girls? Like I should get a little gift for the girls, right? You doing something? I should, right? And she's like, you know what? I got a gift for everybody. So I just want you to show up. She's like, okay.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Yes. So then, let me see here. Well, she hands out the passport holders. So she passes out the holders, and then she talks about how she was attacked by a dog.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
and um she's got bruises and bites all up her leg and her arm it is crazy to see how badly this dog attacked her like it is not good it is a really really bad and she's like yeah i'm doing better hang out some stitches now i've got to go to mexico but you know what was super weird about it is the gossip that's been going around this about this couple which hasn't been that much surprisingly but um
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Well, one of them is that they were separated for a while, you know, so that's been going around on the old internet. And I'm reading this on All About the T. But this was from the U.S. Sun, I guess, originally. But court documents obtained by the U.S. Sun reveal that Bronwyn and Todd lived in separate states between 2016 and 2018, with him residing in San Francisco, her in Park City.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
The arrangement came to light after a lawsuit was filed against the couple following a 2016 incident where their boxer dog allegedly attacked a woman.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
isn't that crazy there's like a lot of dog attack things around bronwyn and todd and by the way i'm not like i have no conspiracy or anything i just thought it was odd that that came up on the show and she was the one who was attacked because i had read the other stuff about their dog attacking somebody allegedly wow are you are you saying there may be a conspiracy where it was actually she was attacked by her dog
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
No, I'm just saying, no, no, I really have no conspiracy. I just thought it was weird that I just read about that the other day. And so when I heard dog attack was coming on the show this week, I thought it was gonna be someone being like, oh really, take care of your dog who attacked a lady in the street or something like that.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
But no, Bronwyn got attacked and this was just after another dog attack a few years ago. I don't know, what does it matter? It's just useless things that are taking up space in my brain.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
this train your dog um she's there how about yeah by the way how about we all tie it together we're trying your fucking dogs and if your dog is aggressive uh put a thing around his mouth what do you do yeah muzzle yeah the fuck you're trained you know keep an eye on your dog uh you know keep your tom clickio gives dog advice
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
So now we're in Puerto Vallarta. And, you know, they get in. The problem was being really overly nice to Lisa. She's like, Lisa, you're gonna fall. You're gonna fall into that van with those shoes on, you little peanut.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I was at- As the girl on Salt Lake City, the social on SLC show says, the cream of the cremes.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
So guys, you know what? This trip's going to be amazing. I promise. I made a PowerPoint for everybody. I want dinner to be perfect. I want every activity to be perfect. The flowers, the villa. What food is there on arrival? It is covered in this PowerPoint.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
guys i i mean i made a resort based off my tequila yeah we're gonna go there as we know and uh i wouldn't be surprised because we find out this is where vita is actually made i wouldn't be surprised if lisa just stayed here once i was like what should we name the tequila vidanta just that's too long just take out a couple letters
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Yes. So she's like, okay, so we have two Velas. I'm gonna split us. So in this Vela, we have Maridath, Hazar, me, and Brittany. And then in the other, we've got Bronwyn, Angie, Whitney, and soon to be married, probably, maybe, who knows? And so then she starts doing the math, like the Salt Lake City math of why she's putting everybody where she's putting them.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
And so she's saying she's good with everybody but Whitney, which is so funny because that's like absolutely not true. Literally everybody's coming for Lisa at all times. And Whitney doesn't like Meredith and Angie's not good with Meredith. So Whitney and Angie, they're sliding all these faces on the screen. And as it goes, it really is a crazy rubber face shell game.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I was just dying laughing. I mean, after last week, I thought, well, you can't really top that Bat Mitzvah episode. And they've already had so many good episodes. You know, I'm just kind of in that mood where I'm like, well, you know, we get what we get. It was a good year. Let's, like, see whatever they do for the rest of the season. But goddamn, that was funny. I was... So, so good.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I'm like, how can anybody concentrate on which one the peanut's under?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Well, it's just like, the faces change so much. You can't play a shell game with those faces, because by the time you stop all the shells, Meredith's face is going to have morphed 20 different times. You can't even remember.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Like today, for example, Meredith and Brooks both were in that first scene, and they both had eyebrows that I swear to you were two inches lower than they were in any other scene in any other episode. I don't know how that happened. And now they're back to normal again. How do you do that? Those are microbladed eyebrows. They don't just move around. I mean, are they lifting their eye?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Are they lowering? Do people get eyebrow lowered? What the fuck?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Utah is really... People are just like going for the Jew dice. They're just like, bring my hairline down, my eye. They're just going like this.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
at all times like i'll believe the defense and then i'll believe the prosecution and then i'll believe the next one and then i'll believe that you know when everyone calls him a liar i'll believe that too i just i believe everything
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
But then I'm pretty easily swayed, I think, because like what I mean is the next week, like one week with Bronwyn, I'm like, oh God, this woman's trash. I don't like her at all. And then the next week I'm like, oh, she's great. I hope she has a 10 year career on this show.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
and then the next second like i just change my flip-flop because i get new information and it changes my whole opinion i mean there are some people i'm just stubborn about no matter what but i think it's just because they're so consistently dicks like kyle like i said in the beverly hills i forgive kyle every year it's just that she gives me fresh stuff to be annoyed by every year it's not like it's old stuff you know but i can be very easily my mind can be very easily changed
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Yeah, totally. And, you know, proud to be. It's called having an open mind. An open, empty mind.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Well done, show. You know what else is gonna be so, so good? The golden crappies of 2025. So true. Which is coming up next month. We just had a meeting with a musical director. If that tells you. I mean, what a talented person. There was going to be so much cool shit happening this year at the Golden Crappies because we are on Broadway. So we're going to be at the town hall February 1st.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
It's so empty that it's been robbed multiple times. There's literally nothing left, okay?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
And she also just has this broken look on her face. I mean, listen, one thing that I think Bronwyn does really, really well that's like a housewife classic trait that you have to have is, is that she just gets so offended. I mean, she's just so offended at every little thing. It's like, oh, I can't believe. And she really has that look of just, you have wrecked my whole world.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I called you Peanut today. I called you Peanut!
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
But she's like, oh, and if Lisa is sending me a message, well, I got the message loud and clear. Being put in my place, and oh, and now I need to claw and beg and plead my case back into Lisa's good graces. Well, she might have to plead her way back into my good graces after this snub.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Oh my God. So... I love that she acts like she's been best friends. You have been on Lisa's neck this entire season. What are you talking about?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Get your tickets now. You can find those at WatchWhatCrappens.com. And guess what else? There's tickets for our Mountain Hysteria Tour, which begins in January and is going to go for a few months all over America and a little bit. of Canada. So go check that out over there. We still have some more cities coming. We're announcing Texas and Charlotte links next week.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I mean, I didn't like what Bronwyn did at the party. There were a lot of questionable things that she was doing and saying, and I can see why they don't want her over there.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Yeah, so then we cut to Bronwyn at a restaurant with Lisa and John, and she's talking about how she wants to advocate what's best for her daughter in this whole situation, but she doesn't know what's best for her daughter. And John's like, well, I was adopted as a baby. And Lisa tried for years to find my birth parents.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
And, you know, she had this Hollywood ending, like doors would open, doves would fly out. The final thing would come up on the screen and say, tequila furnished by Vida, you know? And Lisa's like, it was the exact opposite. And John's like, yeah, she said once the baby was born, she never thought about it again. Okay, listen, adopt lady who gave your kid up for adoption.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
What kind of monster are you to say that to somebody? I mean, even if that's how you felt, they tracked you down, they brought you to fucking brunch and that's what you're gonna tell the kid? Like, my God, fuck off. At least say, I've thought about you sometimes. Like every time I see the movie Rambo, I wonder if that's my big strong boy. I mean, make something up.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
We've got Vegas links coming up soon. Not sure when, but very soon. And other cities that we might add later because it's our prerogative. And we're just going to go as many places as we'll have us. So thanks for that. Also, bonus episodes right now are sold on SLC Recaps over on Patreon. And that's also where you get our videos like this one.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
So Bronwyn's like, okay, well, if you could choose to go back and do it again, would you, Jon? And he's like, no. I mean, who would? Like who wants to be rejected again? I mean, I do. I'm that kind of person. Like if someone rejects me, I'll just like a year later, I'll be like, oh my gosh, they're on Facebook. I'm gonna be like, oh, hey, how you doing? And they're like, still no, Ronnie.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Look for sales on curated cheeses to create a grazing board everyone will love while the dinner's getting cooked. You're in the right place to get all the best accoutrement like nuts, dried fruit, and chocolate.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Still fucking no, okay? Stop messaging me on Facebook.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
She's literally just like, and now I'm with you. Like, gross. She does say that. Gross. This is disgusting. And she did it last week to Brittany and Maylee, too. And she was like, oh, God, whoever thought I'd be stuck with you two?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
she literally did that she's a snob because she looks at the other group as being the leads of the show and she doesn't care about fucking lisa that's why she's coming for lisa she's coming for like one of the top dogs but i think she sees the other ones as leads of the show and she's like oh and now they're gonna put britney in my place like britney's the newbie they're gonna elevate oh hell no
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
So then we go to Lisa's room and Meredith's like, well, how are you feeling about everyone here? And she's like, oh my gosh, so weird. Cause probably called me and was like, hey, do you want me to bring something for everyone? And I'm like, no, no. Cause I've got gifts for everyone. So I like, I thought like a little like weird, like, like, are you like giving everyone like a gift?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
You can get them right when they're released or you can get them for free by waiting a week and going to join our YouTube, which is free. So, you know, if you don't want to pay, girl... I don't blame you. You don't have to. Okay? We're here for all levels of financial stability. Ben, or financial wants. What am I saying? If you don't like us, you're boring.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
But I do agree with you that Bronwyn did this shit on purpose by being like, hey, do you want me to bring... Is it okay if I bring gifts? And Lisa said no, and then she did it anyway. Like, that's shitty, you know? Because originally, I would have been the same way. I would have been like, who cares? The more gifts, the better. But to ask somebody and then purposely be like, oh...
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I'm going to do whatever I want when you're the hostess. When we saw what she was like when she was the hostess. But then again, we also saw how Lisa acted towards her when she was the hostess. So I don't know that anyone's going to really win this one.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Well, it felt weird, because, like, it's my trap. Like, why are you bringing guffs? Like, I have stuff for everybody. I do. Like, I told you not to bring a guff. Like, you don't have to bring a guff. Oh, my God. If it's Grey Goose, I'm going to kill everybody. So Meredith is like, well, do you think it was just, I guess I should have said, like, Patron.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Okay, well, thank you for correcting the terrible joke. Well, do you think it was just kind of like a screw you or do you think she just sort of already ordered it and just thought I'll do it anyway? You know, it does take a long time for things to get delivered from Ollie.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
So basically, she's like, Bronwyn is always annoyed with me if I don't do exactly what she wants, but then she doesn't care about how I feel, and she does whatever she wants. And I'm kinda over her! So how do you feel with Anger? I made sure she was in another villa just so it wasn't uncomfortable. Meredith's like, I appreciate that, and so do any sluts in the near vicinity.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
What's she going to do to top herself? Go to a handicapped spot, wait for someone to park, call them a slut while they're trying to walk into the business that they own?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
so uh lisa's like well she better be on her best behavior like the best behavior so now um so now it's dinner we're getting ready for dinner time and everyone's in the land no one has um congratulated me on being a character in this episode i love that that i'm basically the butler in this episode the second he came on i was like really am i being trolled because that is literally me even i thought it was me for a minute rudy the butler
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I was like, is that me? Have I blacked that out?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
So Meredith's like, um, Remy, will you give me a favor and take this bag and put it on a chair down at dinner? And he's like, yes, girl icon. I was like, thank you. Love your podcast. I was like, thank you. Will you send me some bath bombs when they're ready? He's like, sure will. I'm going to send you a special surprise one.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
It's not God's fault. We're tired now. So... And Meredith's like, okay, so now, so we see what she's talking about on a flashback after the bat mitzvah when Meredith is opening gifts. And she goes, well, let's see what a thoughtful gift is. And Seth goes, what is that, dish soap? And she pulls it out. And it's not only shampoo and conditioner. It is gigantor bottles of shampoo and conditioner.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Yeah. I don't mean it like that. I just mean, you know. Spend it or don't spend it. You know, we love you either way. The most important thing is you're here right now. You're letting us into your little ear canals.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
It's shampoo and conditioner that ain't ever going to run out.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
It's also her own brand. Yes. To people on their bot mitzvah. Yeah.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
There's also gluten and possibly dairy. I'll have to investigate. Are you drinking the shampoo? Stop that. The point is, it was not thoughtful. It was not thoughtful at all. Because she knows I cannot use that shampoo. I have keratin in my hair. And it needs a sulfate-free shampoo, so she can have it.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I can't wait for Bronwyn and Meredith to get into it. Because these are the most offended people in the Bravos. Beautifully. I can't wait to see them both get into it together.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
So come on, hurry up. Oh, so then they get to the restaurant and they go sit down and they're like, oh my God, it's a lovely place.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
So I would picture her as more of a bell, like bonjour, bonjour, bonjour, bonjour. It's like just annoying everybody down the street with books she doesn't read. Cause you know, Brittany's got bookcases full of books she doesn't read. She's just one of those people.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
She gets fired from Disney Tokyo because they're like, listen, we can't have Belle complaining that the Beast and her keep breaking up every day. Okay? It's just not. We can't have Belle interrupting the light parade to announce that she has been basically made official in a Costco. Okay? It's just a family place.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Yeah. Fucking stupid, Brittany. So Brittany makes an announcement and everybody's just quiet because literally Brittany makes an announcement every day. And Lisa's like, yeah, it's like every five seconds. Ding, ding, ding. I have an announcement to make. I'm going to the bathroom. She's like, guys, this is serious. You guys, you know that I've been struggling with hair. Angie, shut up.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Can I have a question? When your daughter was at your home, did she still like seeing you? No, I should have invited her to my mom. It's fine. I would have been a good guest.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Girl, you already told us why they aren't speaking to you. Because you prioritized a man over your kids and they said, fuck you and got rid of you. So I wouldn't talk to you either. God knows what that man wanted or did. Terrible. Terrible lady. But guess what? Please stay on the show forever.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I would love to cry. Also, it's not something that you announce at a group dinner. It's just weird and needy and sad and best for it. Love you.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Yeah, it's not your trap. Like, yeah, do it in the right way. There are processes. There's like a bureaucracy here. Okay.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Hava Nagila Weber. Know Your Worth with Jason Couric. Zipped Some Scotch with Jessica Trotch.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Rigging the Funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She Gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
We Love Her on the Rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
If they're Bears nominated for comedy already, just give Bears a Survivor's Award.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Finally, Vanity is fair because that makes some damn sense. Vanity Fair, well done.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Well, actually, speaking of that, the reality reckoning is on board as well. It's not on board, but it's still alive because Mark Garagos and his team – released today that they are making headway with Love is Blind. And a court has decided that the Love is Blind cast is now considered employees of the network. So it means a lot different ways of being treated and all this stuff.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
So that actually, you know what? Bethany's over there like, reality, right? And Bethany has also just dissed Harry's sauce. I mean, there's so much going on. So actually, we'll talk about that on Monday. Because that's gonna be our final Crappy Hour of the Year. And that was not meant to veer into another commercial about us. But Crappy Hour is our live bi-weekly show. It's so fun.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
It's 5.30 Pacific time over on YouTube Live. And we also stream it on Instagram when we can. So check us out. You'll love it. Okay, let's get into Salt Lake City.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Make Whole Foods Market your holiday headquarters.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
This is important. This is important. Okay. So sorry about that, everybody. Sorry, Christina. I just told Christina this morning, we're going to make your life easier from now on. We're going to try and get our audio right, blah, blah, blah. And then I do that. Okay. So here's what happened. Why I had to stop the show. Look what I got yesterday. Ooh.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
It's a handmade lush. I don't care. Send me shit. I don't care.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
you saw my address okay look at this it says cosmetics handmade fresh cosmetics i was like what the fuck is that is it my summer glue tides is it like lipstick made out of cupcakes i don't know what is i'll i'll use that but then i opened it and then i thought oh my god my because you know i make the crappy awards every year for the golden crappies yeah and i thought oh my god somebody's sending me a prototype of this year's crappy let me show it to you
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Look at that. It's a little poop emoji. Like a crappie, right, Ben? Doesn't this look like a crappie? Well, guess what it is?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
It is Meredith Marks! Lush bath bombs and beauty. I am thrilled to partner with Lush, the original creator of the bath bomb, to bring an exclusive new product. Just as I cherish my baths, I approach my business collaborations with the same level of seriousness and intention.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
And partnering with a world-class brand like Lush, which embodies soul and purpose, aligns perfectly with my core values, signed Alibaba. That's Meredith. And it came with this, which is called the French Kiss. So I think I'm just missing the little paper that makes this a Hershey's Kiss. Okay. And then it comes with... This thing, this co-mingle body scrub.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
And then it comes with another little snowflake bath bomb thing. Beautiful. I'm going to try and snort that later and see if that works. And then another little thing. Happy hippie shower gel. So anyway, thank you, Meredith. I have never been more excited to get a thing. And also, we should partner with Lush to do the Crappy Awards this year, so I don't have to do it. So thanks.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
And congrats on Lush, everybody. Go find Lush. You can find it. I don't know, I think you just have to search for it. You could scan this thing, but it says, join us on, at Lush, at Lush North America on Pinterest. The other one's YouTube, at Lush.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I mean, what a way to end the year. Meredith Marks just sent us a golden crappy shaved bath bomb. I mean, come on, what a fucking gift.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Oh, my God, I hope they're never friends. I love it. I want them to be friends. I love it. I love it. I love their Discord. Okay, so you're right. So we're at the house. The whole family's there, except the one who doesn't like to talk. Seth, Brooks, and Chloe are all there. And Meredith is smelling things and being like, what do you like better? The smell of roses? Or the smell of roses?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Or the smell of roses? And Brooks is like, this one smells like the Four Seasons. And she goes, so does that mean you like it? And he's like, no.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
Well, what set me off was when Brooks, you came up to me and said, mom, you should probably see what's going on with Brittany because she's crying. And then one minute later she comes walking in and I can see she has been crying and she was very visibly shaken up. And I said, what's going on? And she said, she keeps slut shaming me. I will not have hate at my botanist and slut shaming.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
now of course she wasn't i mean you know andy was screaming at her a lot it's hard to stand up for andy sometimes because like obviously she was in the wrong on a lot of stuff but i think the point was that brittany is acting like she's so offended after she's walking around like talking about all the dudes she's dating but then if somebody else says anything she's she just picks and chooses when she's going to be upset for tv basically you know yes
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
She's doing it very well, though, I have to say. I know that Britney's very polarizing with the audience, and even with me, because I saw her on Instagram the other day, and she was on Watch What Happens, and she's just like, every time I see her, she's annoying. You know, every time I see her, I'm like, oh, God, shut up. I mean, I didn't even listen to what she was saying on Instagram.
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
I just saw her, like, waving around some lipstick, and like... you know, doing this sort of thing in the camera, and I just flicked through and rolled my eyes. Now, that said, I was very excited to see what Britney was gonna do today on this show, because she's just such a twit, you know?
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
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#2652 RHOSLC S5E13 Part One: Room Doom
She's always making fucking toasts. To herself. Then we go over to Angie and Sean talking about this. And she's still, you know, upset, of course. She's like, that was a fun night. I am so glad I went out of my way to. And he's like, oh, how do you feel about it? Just tell me how you feel, babe. That's why I live a city from you, okay? That's why I sleep a city block away from you.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
So she's like, why are you yelling at me? And she says, because I don't know who's starting more rumors about me. And she's like, well, it's certainly not me. I mean, we're doing an audio test. It's not a rumor that you cheated on your husband. Everybody already knows that. Move past it.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Well, don't tell my story. I don't condone. I don't co-sign on affairs and infidelity. And Mary's like, wait, who are you talking to? Meredith just walks to her room. So she goes into her room and Lisa comes in with her. And Heather's like, you know, I mean, she just lost her mind. She lost her mind. I don't know what to do.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
So now we cut to Lisa and Meredith in the room and they're standing kind of by the door, you know, like the little corridor. By the front door. And all the other girls are listening, listening to this clear as day. And Lisa's like, what happened? Well, what happened is they're all talking shit. And I'm not going to let them offend me anymore. And I've had enough.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
And I offer my own experiences just as a way to give support, which I think to me is a big deal. And I didn't have to open up to anybody. I mean, just like you don't have to open up to anybody. And Mary just goes, no wonder Brittany heard her.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
You don't need a damn listening device. Britney was doing what Whitney is currently doing, which is standing at the door with her ear to it.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
The whole thing is fine. And she goes to the door and you just see Whitney running away like, ah.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Investing involves risk. Acorn Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash cravens. Well, great episode. So let's move on to Sold on Salt Lake City.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Babe, they're going to know who you are anyway. You're a regular at the strip club, you dummy. Yes, exactly. So first off, this was kind of good because Matt's such a little shit on the show. We call him Squish Face. He's a shit. And little Squish Face is such an undermining piece of crap on this show. He's horrible. And the first second this show came on, I said, that guy's cheating. Thank you.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Thank you very much. He's just got cheating face. He's got cheating eyes. He does. Little squishy face, cheating eyes. And of course he was. And it sounds like they try to make this sound like it was just going to strippers, but the girls were like, well, he came to see me. So this is what I don't understand for the stripper point of view is they said he kept coming to see me.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
And then when he stopped seeing me, he was seeing my sister. Well, does that mean he's fucking you and you guys are hookers? Or does this mean that he was just coming in to get private lap dances from you? Or was he seeing you outside of the club? Like, What's going on?
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
So this leads to a couple of questionable things that just happened on the show because it's reality TV and reality TV is messy. And obviously the stripper sister shows up to start some shit to be on TV, wears a bright green dress so everybody can call her the girl in the green dress and she becomes a thing on the show. Right. So it worked for her. I can see where she's coming from and doing it.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
But then Malaysia's left with this like, well, shit, now she's told me and she's told me on camera. So what am I supposed to do about it? Do I tell him? And at first, it seems like she's going to kind of do because it's not just him. I don't think that the problem is outing Matt. Fuck that guy.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
The problem is what is going to do to the wife and kids to have this outed on national TV when you live in Utah. Right. So it becomes this big moral dilemma. It's like, what is this girl going to do with this information?
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
She goes up to him. Well, she definitely a first first. Oh, yeah, because the Portuguese girl. Right. She's Portuguese, right? I was like, how dare you call me? How dare you call me sugar baby or whatever?
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
yeah she's like shakira and kate mckinnon yes um what wait i have a question did she i was confused about this did she text her or did she text chris or is it that or is it that like megan mccain talked to chris and then chris told the no she texted she texted the wife she texted the question check or the sorry i don't remember it this is an european chick and uh she texted her and was like oh my god you won't believe what's going on right she texted somebody else about it it was very quick
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Yes. So she's like, what do I do? I just got this information. But nobody really knows what the information is. And she starts going around the party. And also, she's kind of drunk now. She's had a lot of tequila shots. She's like, oh, my God, what do I do? So finally, they're like, oh, my God. And meanwhile, the wife senses some bullshit and she's out of there.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
I don't know if she knew this was going on. The wife was like, this feels really weird and really dark. I don't like this. I have a stomach ache. Can we go home? He's like, why don't you go lay down in the car? So that shows you what kind of asshole he is. Just go fucking lay down in the car, babe.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
whatever the wife's name is call her eyelashes because those eyelashes they're like cut off thumbnails that she's into her eyes i know they're so weird you need to get you need to get eyelashes that fit you that you're like wearing a child's eyelashes on top of adult eyelashes it looks cray cray get proper eyelashes her name is nicole so nicole has actually driven home because she's like
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Well, when she got into the car, you saw her press on the brakes, which, I mean, I guess you could do while you're getting comfortable in the car. But I was like, no, that's what you do when you're ready to put the car in.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
She's like, this is a bad position for me to be in. Basically. Don't make me say this. Like, you know what is going on. I want you to just say it. And he's like, I don't know what you're talking about, but he does know the stripper sister's there. So he does know that something's coming.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
dancers that he's like uh i'm out he's like bye bye he's like see ya and so he gets out and he's pissed basically at production because they're about to ruin his marriage on tv which i mean i guess i understand that uh fight or flight response but you're caught You're caught, buddy, and I'm not going to feel for you.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
And surely no one on this show, especially the women, are going to start feeling for the man. Please. No. And surely the patriarchy is not going to take over on this show. Surely not. This is a show about girl power, and it's run by a girl, and she's going to totally have the girls back.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Yeah, so they go to a tchotchke place and they're shit-faced at this point, which is really funny because someone goes, where are we? And Heather's like, the market. I have to explain it to each other. So then they go get wacky gifts. One says, I've got a big dick or something, and there's like a big dick under it. And Heather's like, I'm going to do this. This is hilarious.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
that cockiness of like no everything works for me like well it's also the innocence of having been on reality tv and thinking like i'm gonna go project this image and nobody's gonna bring me down i'm not gonna act mature and mature and when she when this lady is accusing me of trying to bring down her relationship i'm just gonna gaslight it and make it seem like she's crazy and i'm gonna you know he thinks he can control it it happens to every season winner you know poor thing yes
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Cause she was like, look at the headdress. I was like, Oh, You guys are still getting away with things in that town that you don't in others. But, you know, you go, girl. And so she's wearing that. And so she finds out that this is going on because it's become this huge drama. And she's like, wait a minute. What? I don't believe it. Matt would never do something like he's mad.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
He's just a gorgeous person who fails at everything, but still somehow is given everything he wants. I just don't believe he would do this.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Well, Tina's rubbing her hands. She loves this. She loves that this is happening. She's, like, gleeful that this happened to Matt, which is, you know... OK, but, you know, it's also kind of tasteless. I mean, like it just happened. His wife is going to be fucked and she's like, good. So Jennifer gets mad at her and then she gets mad at Malaysia for doing it on camera.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Basically, she doesn't say that. But the implication is like, why would you do this on camera to somebody like Matt is? Yeah, we're on the same team. So, I mean, now she's he is our buddy.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
That's a big deal. So, yeah. So she's decided that no matter what, she's going to believe Matt and stick with Matt because poor Matt, you know, which really disappointed me with Jen. And it led to kind of an interesting conversation about, I guess with the audience that she had, where she was explaining, you know, what Matt did.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
I know that it seems like horrible or whatever, especially to people in Utah. Like that's like the worst sin, but that growing up LDS has so much shame attached to it that it's,
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
it people act in crazy ways because they're rebelling against that shame or they have to it's almost like you get used to leading a double life because every sin could send you to hell so you're just like i'm not a sinner and so you build up this whole and i get it you know being raised in an extremely diff uh religious way all the shame that comes with that and
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
This is the one thing I'm going to pass down to my children's children.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
I kind of understood what she was saying in an odd way. I got it, where she's like, sure, he was doing bad things, but you have to understand he was brought up in such a shameful way that it killed him inside until he started acting out in this way. Which, when she explained it like that, I kind of got it.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
But at the same time, everyone else was raised that way, and they're not fucking strippers behind their wife's back and lying about it.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
I have no pity for this fucking guy. And you're not going to make me have pity just because he suffered shame. We all suffer shit in our lives. It doesn't give us an excuse to do the kind of shit that he just did. That's not cool.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Well, he was talking about being an extremely insecure person and being raised with so much shame and he never fit in with anybody and he couldn't make friends and he would lock himself in the closet and just berate himself with all the negativity that he was feeling and,
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
and i mean it was actually a really sad story it's sad bad for him because i was like oh like hot people have trouble too like maybe he wasn't always working out this much you know he was like had insecurities i mean i kind of felt bad for him but then i had to keep reminding myself don't fall for it this is a manipulating man who's now manipulating everybody he's sewing his victim cloak and he's sewing a
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Very thick and heavy for himself. And he's wearing that so we can't say shit about him. Well, I'm sorry, sir. That's not going to work. Okay. I'm burning your victim cloak. It is out. You're an adult now.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Also, here's another thing I wanted to ask you. Do you think that his wife knows? Because I think his wife knows. And she's keeping it. Yeah, she doesn't let you chill.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
I think yeah I think she's known all along but it's one of those like well it's a strip club it's not the best but you know I get that he's a man and men have needs and at least it's just a strip club and it's not an affair and as long as he doesn't get caught or embarrass our family then it's fine because she talks about how divorce is just something you don't do and this is you stay with each other no matter what Malaysia has a whole thing where she's like one
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Once you're married, that's not only your husband here, that's your husband in the afterlife and on your own little planet that you get when you're Mormon and like you guys stay with each other forever. And so I think that the wife knew. And I think when the wife saw that girl there, she knew what was about to happen. And she's like, I'm fucking out of here. You guys aren't using me for this.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Like you've humiliated me enough. You're not going to get me to sit here and scream at some stripper sister on camera.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
So then it's weird that he, and it got me thinking, but why is he not lying? Because he's lied this whole time. Why is he not lying? Like, who cares? Who's going to prove him wrong? You know what I mean? But it's like he wants to, he has that kind of thing where he's getting the punishment, and that's like another kink, you know, where he's like getting caught.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
He's doing something bad, and he's getting caught, and that's another thing. And so he's just going to keep like, well, it's like he's confessing to get in more trouble. I don't know if that makes any sense, but... You see it a lot of times with people when they get caught on purpose. You know what I mean? Or they're leaving little hints around so that they finally get caught.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
I don't know if it's because they'll feel relieved that they're not carrying the burden around. Like, I don't know what it is, but you see it a lot with people doing shit like this.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
I've got enough protein in my system now every morning that I can stand tall.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Anyway, I can support myself now. I don't need you, but I am probiotics.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
And if there weren't men like your husbands, there would be no need to sell their bodies. There would be no market for it. So please, let's keep the guilt in the house, okay, ma'am?
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Yeah, and also, who's going to come and be like, hey, honey, I'm going to strip clubs and having emotional affairs with strippers at the very least. Okay, how was your day? You don't want to stop doing it.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Yeah. Satan hates teamwork.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
yeah so basically we don't really know where they here's the thing though with all of her i don't need you i can stand on my own two feet i'm like you are not leaving this man so cut the plat like cut the platitudes i can just tell she's not going to leave this man and i almost you know i and you have to have sympathy for that too because they've got how many four kids or something it's like yeah she's like what the fuck i don't think you know
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
It's so hard. Oh, it just made me hate him that he's sitting there crying, making it about himself when he just did this. So what, this guy's a total piece of shit, right? So I thought, well, at least he's kicked down and now there's going to be a little humility added to the mix because this guy's plainly an asshole.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
nope nope sure enough jen yo calls everybody into the office for a meeting they all get this text and it's basically like okay everybody we need to go because of something that transpired at cinco de mayo and we're going to talk about this how we've disrespected a male in our office
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Yeah, it was basically like, we cannot. She's basically accusing them. The way it was worded was like, you're purposely bringing something up on camera against Matt.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
someone in our firm that's going to make the firm look bad so you guys shouldn't be bringing stuff up that's going to make the firm look bad well he shouldn't be doing it i mean listen and also they didn't bring it up on camera the stripper sister did so where's she in this meeting that's who you need i mean look having a meeting with and also at the end of the day it's matt who did this
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
So, sorry, where's the rule against, like, hey, guys, we live in Utah, and if we're going to keep a decent relationship here, we can't be fucking around on our wives with strippers and getting caught. So, we need to stop doing it. Not we need to stop getting caught. We need to stop doing the behavior.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
I mean, I wouldn't love that either because it's none of your fucking business what people do outside the office. But you can't blame other people's reaction to his sin and get mad at the sinner. Yeah. what the fuck?
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Brazilian, thank you. Yeah, I couldn't remember.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
of you know rumors and like it would have been nice if this meeting had been held then so it's like like you're only standing up like there's a total double standard and he's sitting that back there and he's smirking matt is just like smirking like he's smirking whatever well and also just to expand on what you just said that girl was saying i was slut shamed a year ago matt went to my clients and people and was telling them that i was just some gold digger
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
You know, it was just some girl sleeping with a rich guy, which we hadn't heard yet. And so that was one. And she's like, nobody cared about that. She didn't bring it up. She let it slide because she didn't want to cause, cause waves. Yeah. She's like, so we're, so we're only standing up for the men here. And Matt's just like, well, it's not that we're just, it's not about me guys.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
So then Angie goes to Heather's and Meredith goes over there. So Meredith is like, so, well, I'm getting ready, but let me ask you a question. Have you heard me in my room? She's like, well, I did hear a slight knocking sound, but I figured it was just your head hitting the headboard as you were talking to somebody on the phone. Well, okay, but still, I haven't heard you.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
It's clearly about you. The rule is worded to be what happened around the party was even mentioned, sir. And you were the only drama there. It's clearly about you. Fuck off. Why are you even talking right now? So he's like, well, guys, she's right. And then she's basically taken aback that the women have just called her out. But she's sticking to her guns.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
And she goes, I'm just talking about everybody, guys. So we all have to be aware of this stuff. No, you're sticking up for the wrong person. And if anybody's ruining your company, it's you with this bad, stupid, anti-women decision making. Shame on you.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
But her whole thing is basically like, listen, if we're doing business in Utah, we can't be known as people who are going to start shaming men who are going to strip clubs because I guarantee you. 80% of men are doing something wrong. Like, let's face it. We've all known a man in our life and we can't go around tattletaling on men when we need them to buy our shit.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Just say that, you know what I mean? If you're going to be that lame about it, just say it.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
So, um, because Matt is the epitome of Utah perfection. He is youngish. He's got four children, a perfect little blonde wife. He's a little blonde guy. And he's like perfect. He's like the perfect thing that they look up to and that they all want to be.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
So to ruin that reputation of him or that image of him hurts the company because now he's just going to be known as a dirtbag instead of like that vision of perfection. I think that's the only reason she keeps him on and puffs him up like that. It's like he may not be the best, but he's what everybody strives to be in this town.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
And then, and he's like, and then people love action. And that's why this video is going to do well on Tiki Taki. Wow. You really nailed it.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
That's someone who's like actually fainted in my home a couple of weeks ago onto a step stool. Like that's not fun. I can't imagine. I was like, oh my God, what if I had a fucking climbing wall? That would be terrible. Yeah. It's always scary when people have saunas in their home.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
But it did make me want to move to Utah in a way because, A, the guys have so much shame and they're hot, which is my kink. And also, they have houses like that for $1.5 million. That's how much that house cost. That is crazy. That was an amazingly humongous house.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Yeah. Well, everybody, thanks for being here. It's going to be interesting to see on sold on SLC, all the reactions. Cause it looks like the other girls are like, fuck this. I quit. Um, which I hope they do because that's bullshit after that. Yeah. To like victimize the women after he did something, you know?
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
she should have just left this alone and had to talk with Matt about getting his shit together. That was a dumb, dumb.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
I haven't heard anybody on the adjoining rooms. And now that I know that this girl's been recording us on her iPhone, do you think she left something in my room? Dun, dun, dun. No, Brittany's awake. Because it's stupid for that.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Okay, where were you on the phone with Seth? So she's like, I was here. And so, you know, Heather's making a big joke out of this, but Meredith is taking it very seriously. Heather's like, is it under this lamp? No. Is it inside this lamp? No. Is it in the towels? No.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Well, clearly she's very good at what she does, because there's zero sign of recording devices in here. Well, it just makes no sense. It just makes no sense.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
So now they go to this dinner, and Lisa's like, after the craziness of today, I want tonight's dinner to be totally daft. So we're dining in elegance with peace and quiet.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Well, at least we're still diving in elegance. So Andy's like, yeah, I don't really feel like I got to address the conversation that you brought up on when it was messy. It didn't come out clearly. And I don't know if it's weirder that you spun the story or that you like said it and that you went running to Lisa with it or that you didn't put Suzuki on top of it before you did that.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
You can find these great prices in store and online. Shop Whole Foods Market on Amazon and get free pickup and convenient delivery on all your wellness journey essentials. Terms apply.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
And you put me and Whitney in a bad position and Heather also because she was sitting there and she is not even Greek.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Mm-hmm. And Bronwyn's like, no, no, no, Angie. No, no, no, no. No, I let you talk. Let me talk.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Bronwyn, you did it at my expense. It's like, let me finish. Let me finish. Let me finish. Let me finish. Let me finish. Let me finish. Let me finish. Because when I, whether I meant to be nefarious during our conversation, wait, what is that? Is that Greek?
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Yeah. So I just went to Lisa and told her that you accused me of lying about Todd's affair. I mean, what's the big deal? And Heather's, yeah, Heather's mouthing, toothpaste to Whitney. And Whitney's like, yeah.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
How annoying is it to have to switch apps to watch your favorite movies and videos? Different logins, forgotten passwords. Well, not anymore.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
So Meredith's like, well, I have a question that didn't add up to me, and let me tell you, V plus I equals L-A. And I go, God, here Meredith goes. Well, I've been in this villa for several days now, and I've never heard anything from any adjoining room. Boom, mic drop, gavel drop, just drop the gavel, get ready for prison.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Well, wait. Heather, I just don't even know what you're getting mad about. Like, are you just trying to, like, look for things to be mad about me? Mad at me about? No, I'm sorry. I said mad about me about. I was like, I'm mad about you. What a show. What a good show.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
Well, I'm the only one that's ever supported you. And she goes, until today. Until you came after me like a raging beast. Telling everyone false stories about me. And here's why I'm questioning you today. Because you chose to record us without our knowledge. And why would I not start to question you if you put something in my room at this point?
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
So answer the question. Did you put a recording device in my room? And she's like, yes or no. That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard. Yes or no. Absolutely. No! Very convincing, Brittany. Very convincing. So Mary's like, but there's no benefit of putting a recording device in Meredith's room. I mean, she's so boring. I mean, no offense, but I would fall asleep.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
And then Meredith is like, well, wait, what can I have done to be more supportive? Well, she said that you blamed her and that you said that she had been guarded and that's what drove her husband to emotional failure. You know, all that stuff. She goes, no, I didn't say that. I asked a question to try to help her.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
She goes, wait, better to keep what quiet? She says, emotional affairs. You know, like the ones that you have. I never said that. And so now Meredith is like, wait a minute. These bitches were talking behind my back.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
So Meredith, of course, is getting pissed. And she's like, Heather, Heather, Heather. And Heather's just going through the hall like, no big deal. Nothing to see here. Heather, we were getting out of the car. Did you say Bronwyn did not feel my support because I co-sign emotional affairs? Or did I misunderstand that? And she's like, oh, you totally misunderstood that.
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
I was just saying, because you have emotional affairs. You probably understand it better. She's like, wait a minute. What did you say? So... So, they're all walking down the hallways to get back to their rooms, right?
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#2683 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part Two: For The Record
So Meredith's like, well, you can do what you want. I'm more interested in what you said as we were getting out of the golf cart. She's like, no, we're going to do a wacky scene looking for bugs. And Heather's like, I just thought it was projection of having been through infidelity, you know. That's all. But there was no infidelity. My husband and I were separated. How dare you?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Well, but she also lied, which is her usual MO, which I know people still don't want to face in the fandom. But this woman is such a fucking manipulator and a liar. I love her. She is such a liar. She went back and took lies to her. That's not fair. You know, that's not fair. If she just told them we were talking shit and whatever, this is what we said. That's one thing.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
But she went and she fucking lied about it. I mean, she is the worst. But I have to say, I'm used to her now. So I was cracking up. She's so good. Of course she did. You know, of course she fucking did that. So Lisa's like, you know what, we're going to have a conversation about this. And it just sucks we have to do it on ATVs. Because I Googled luxury experience and ATV came up.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And then we see a flashback where Brittany's like, Meredith, how are you doing?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
You okay? You okay? What's going on? What's going on? And so Meredith is like, well, I felt something was off there for sure.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Do people without strength... Cut one lemon with an entire family.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And she's like, and then what was so weird is that she went to everyone, right in front of everyone, she asked me if I need a sleeping pill, and I said, no, I don't need anything from you. I mean, are you kidding? It's like asking Big Pharma if they need a cold medicine, you know, if they need cold medicine. No, she doesn't need anything. She's got that shit running through her veins.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Like, the fact that she did literally do that.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
So she's like, it seems like everyone thinks it's okay to talk behind my back, but I'm a woman now. I've just become a woman, so I will not stand for this.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
If you're looking to get away with all the fabulous luxe experience of the Housewives, but none of the drama, check out Virgin Voyages.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And she's like, I freaking threw Angie out in support of her. And you threw Angie out because you wanted to and you had an excuse. And it was also the best episode of the season. So let's please not try and get any apologies for that. One of the best episodes of all time across all franchises is the Bat Mitzvah. So she's like, and now she's...
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
So she's like, oh, so I'm unstable because I was on the phone sobbing with my husband because I was upset about slut shaming. I was crying because of the slut shaming. I like that she dropped the slut shaming thing. Because I thought that, I wish she'd kept the slut shaming thing because I love that. I was crying because there was so much slut shaming going on.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
One time he picked up a phone book and he said, is this new? I said, no, Todd. I haven't been phone books for 20 years, Todd.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
You know, I caught Todd having an emotional affair with somebody. You know how I caught him? He left papers in the fax machine. I said, Todd.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I feel like I am every time I saw my meme. I always made sure I was loaded up with a butterscotch. Every time.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
HERS is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
These are exclusively built kid-free cruises, so no matter what you're looking for, you can get the type of experience you need most, all catered to adult tastes. I mean, we love our children.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Start your initial free online visit today at 4HERS.com slash crappins.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
4HERS.com slash crappins.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
No better way to do that than a nice new piece of beautiful furniture.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I just did my place all mid-century modern, and I got the most beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
There's something for every style and home, no matter your space or budget.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home. Okay, so Bronwyn's, she's talking to Heather. So Heather's like, oh, that's an old tactic, right, girl? So Lisa's like, okay, I have questions. Okay, everybody. So Bronwyn brought something up last night. And everybody just looks at each other like, here we fucking go. Here's another brava, another. Sprinter van. Bronwyn drama.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And that's the lie. That's where she comes out. Angie barely said anything in that. I'm sorry. You're right. Angie barely said anything. Yes. And then we see the flashback to what actually happened. And Bronwyn was saying, you guys, you saw last night. Lisa's much more supportive of Britney than me, right? And then Lisa and Meredith kind of stood up for Todd. Well, is this all he can do?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I mean, what have you done to make him this way? Remember when they said that? And Angie's like, well, maybe she didn't take it as serious as it is. I don't know. I am Greek. And Bronwyn's like, so you don't think she believed me? You think she don't believe me. That's what you're saying. That is. No, she never fucking said that.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
But now you're saying that she said it because it came out of your mouth and kept nodding. So you affirmed it to yourself with your own fucking nod. Lady. And didn't she do this earlier?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
That's how she operates. She reads into something and then confirms it to herself and then that becomes the narrative. So... Well, and she'll confirm it out loud, which is the funny thing. No one has learned that you have to jump on Bronwyn really fast and say, no, that's not what I'm saying. Because she's just nodding the whole time. And so she's like assuming consent.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
It's the weirdest form of manipulation. And I'm going to steal it too. Like her whole like, oh, so you're buying this, right? You're buying this for me, right? You like this on me? You love it on me? Great. You're sorry, right? Great, great. And she just assumes that consent. And it's very tricky. It's hilarious. Yeah.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I love that. Dictionary. So Angie's like, okay, let's back up here, beep. Beep. Beep. That is how Greek trucks sound when they back up. There is nothing transparent about having a conversation. Oh, no, you already said that. You didn't feel supported by everyone, and that's how it started first, okay? That is how it started. She goes, well, I didn't. I didn't. No, I said that I didn't.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
You know, and it was less warm with Meredith and Lisa. That's what I said. That's what I said. That's what I said. I'm telling the truth about everything, you see? Because that part's true. But that's fine. I'm sorry you feel that way.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
No, no, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I said that we all talk. I said that.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
You're not the only one that gets to talk. Listen to what Angie has to. But Angie has to what?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
You know what? That's your trash mouth. That's why I call you trashy, okay? Because that's a step beyond bitch, which is what I called you, okay? And she's like, oh my gosh, you know what? I really want to address this, but maybe I should have waited until we got to our excursion because now I have to listen to her. Oh my god, you're a cut fitness! Like, for another straight hour.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Like, I don't want to hear Whitney talking. Like, I mean, can someone give her a gag? I'm sure she's used to using a gag with Justin.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Meg Ryan's husband is so nice.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
That's the reason I call you trashy. Do you want to know what it is? So Whitney's like, wow, oh, wow, wow. Well, the truth is, and Angie's like, wait, wait, really quick, Brittany. Wait, Brittany, Brittany, why are you recording our conversation? Because what we didn't mention is we see Brittany recording the back of her seat. Like, what the hell is she doing?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
It's like, turn your fucking phone off. And then when I tell you, Bronwyn almost jumped over the seat to kill this woman. Wow. She went crazy. Bronwyn went the craziest out of anybody. I was like, get her, Bronwyn. I thought Bronwyn was going to beat the crap out of her. And Brittany's like, what? I'm not recording the conversation. They're like, yes, you are.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And she goes, I'm just sending a video to Olivia. Please tell me it was Olivia Aiden.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And Brom was like, so send her a fax like Todd would do. And then Angie's like, no, you were recording the fight. She's like, I did not, you guys. And then they just all go in on it. And they're like, yes, you did. And Meredith is like, let's see the video.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And Brittany's like, but I had the camera backwards. I mean, I was trying. And he's like, wow, Brittany. Wow. Delete and then delete from your deleted. Okay? Delete, delete it.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Meredith's head. I don't know how Meredith didn't hit her head on the back of the seat or the camera because she was like, I was like, oh my God, get your forehead out of the camera. Are you insured? Is the camera insured?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Push her out. My forehead vein's gonna push her out if somebody else doesn't. Her vein was like, boom, boom, boom. It was like a fist coming out trying to hit somebody.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Mary clocked her a long time ago. I am happy enough. And Brahma's like, we are talking about something that I said that's so fucking private and whether or not she believed it and you're going to record me? Are you recording me now? Are you recording me now? She's recording me now. She's setting up a light kit. Look, everybody, she's doing it. She's producing a film.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
that was a harrowing evening geez that was a harrowing evening last night oh my god the whole night oh some scary shit i hope everybody's taking care of themselves in los angeles what ended up happening well for those who may not know truly what's going on there's like wildfires all over los angeles it's like a hellscape it's so incredibly scary like it's it's
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Imagine being your kid, being her kid, and getting 100 on your math test, and your mom just sending you a video of ladies screaming fuck you C-word to each other.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
So she's like, I am, I'm trying to delete it. Did you post this or send it to anyone? She's like, I never, I have never done that. Which wasn't the question. And which means she probably has been doing it this whole time. So Bronwyn's like, so did you do it or not? And Heather's like, well, what if she's recorded us at other times? Did she record us last night?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Well, now you brought up something interesting because part of the online discourse about this is why are they bitching? They're being recorded on TV. Who cares if she's also recording on her little phone? I think the argument that I like the best against it is that it's consent. They know they're being recorded for the show. The show can cut very personal things out or something that...
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I mean, I don't know if they probably never do do that, but the show can cut it a different way than you could getting all this raw footage and making it look like however you want and selling it to whoever you're selling it to.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Right. So Brittany's like, I never record ever. And Bron was like, how do we know that now? And Lisa's like, we haven't even done that to each other. We hate each other.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And Brittany's like, well, obviously there's a trigger here. So look through my videos. And Heather's like, a trigger. And Meredith goes, it's not a trigger. Cut to Heather going, this is such a trigger for us.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
So I love that Meredith keeps bringing it back to herself every single time. Like, how dare you, Brittany? How dare you insinuate those things? That's right, girls.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And so Bronwyn's like, no, no, no. Her story's changing. Her story's changing. That's not what she said.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
You don't know that you can't secretly record people? There's wiretapping laws. Now, that's different than regular tapping, which is when a Mormon puts his penis on a doorknob and then has someone start tapping on the door until he ejaculates because it's illegal to have sex with doors. I don't know.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Okay, well, don't record your friends secretly to mock them. Okay, so that's the worst thing. Say sorry and be done. And Captain's like, say you're sorry and be done.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And Meredith is like, she's like, then stop defending me. I don't care. And Meredith is like, well, are you defending her commentary on me? Is that what we're defending? God, Meredith is still back there on the pulpit.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And so Heather's like, yeah, she really fucked up. I mean, I've defended her. I've been her friend. And now I'm feeling ashamed and embarrassed that I introduced her to all my friends and I put them in this horrible situation. This is like indefensible.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I will never trust you again. I will never, ever. You know what, Brittany? I will be worried every time I'm with you that you're recording. Are you getting me now? I look really good. Record this. Record this.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Just keep saying that. And Bron went like, why the fuck do you need that video on your phone? On the heels of saying, you know, how concerned you were about Meredith's mental and physical health. What is that about?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Which is also another thing that Bronwyn started. I mean, Brittany did say that behind her back, but she thought she was just talking shit, you know, because Angie yelled at her. And Bronwyn went back and made that a whole thing, too, calling her a slut.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Saving is so, so important. You know, with everything going on in the world, you never know what's going to happen and you need to have your little nest egg going.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Head to acorns.com slash crappins or download the Acorns app to get started.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Investing involves risk. Acorn Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash cravens. So Meredith is like, are you nuts? So Brittany's just, you know, now Brittany's in a full-on sob. So they stop the Sprinter van and she runs and she's like, she has this amazing. Let me get this on Instagram.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And of course they all fall for it immediately because she grabs the victim club. As she should. You know, she starts crying. So you can't yell at somebody when they're crying, right? So Angie's like, uh-oh. Oh, guys. Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, you guys. That was a lot, you guys. That was a lot. Mary's like, oh, who cares? We've all been through that.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And she's like, you know, even if you're a fucking hard ass, that would have been hard.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
So Whitney goes to comfort her, you know, Whitney's like, I'll do it. So she's like, Brittany, I've absolutely violated our trust. But that was a lot of yelling for one person to take. And we probably took.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
What? Well, I think that she just doesn't think it's a big deal. She doesn't. I'm not trying to be rude, but she's not the sharpest tool in the shed. And Heather goes, well, that's rich coming from you, Einstein.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
So what was your intention on filming the back of the seat then? And Brittany's like, I swear on my life, I wasn't trying to record the girls. I was trying to flirt with the, with the back seat. You know, I just have to keep it. I have to keep my, I have to keep, uh, what's his buns, Osmond, Osmond jealous. I just said, look, I'm doing the back of a back seat. What do you think of that?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I mean, is that so wrong?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
So she's telling the producers, I swear on my life, I'm not trying to record the girls. And the producer's like, well, but it is weird that you're recording the back of the seat, so. But where did you hear that? I mean, why was I recording the back of the seat? And she's like, well, I know, but I mean, it was for a while. And she's like, no, it wasn't. It wasn't for a while at all.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
It was for one second. Dong, flashback. 24 seconds.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
So she's telling Whitney, the camera was turned around at that point. I mean, I was just trying to get it, you know, while I was holding record, I was trying to get it to flip on my face so I could do, like, I love you. I'm proud of you. I'm thinking of you. Someone just got called to cut fitness, but it wouldn't turn.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And so I stopped recording, not realizing that a video was also recording audio. Videos record audio now. What is this?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Look at my deleted. Well, it's hard. It's hard to say, look at my deleted because you could delete a deleted.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Did you get the impression that she so wanted her to look through her phone?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I look amazing in these pictures.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Well, I feel bad for Brittany, but I'm not buying this little naive, I didn't know how to flip a camera around, but I can delete a deleted video with .2 seconds.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Yeah, and it sounds like she knows very well what her deleteds are and that she looks through them. You know, it's like, it's your way to keep a file on your phone that's not public-facing. When you open your phone in public, people aren't seeing your, you know, pootie videos.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
So then Mary's like, where are my goggles? Have you seen my goggles? And Bronwyn's like, they're behind your neck.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
It will destroy you. So then we go to Heather and Brittany just writing in silence while everybody else is having fun. You know, everybody else is like, woo! But then it's just silence with them. And Heather's like, well, this is fun. Sitting in silence with the most hated person on the trip. Oh, look, here comes a wobbly, never been stress tested bridge. The hits just keep on coming.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
uh, with that boat. But, um, we have not had like a full on falling off a bridge disaster, but if any cast is going to do it, it's this one.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Um, so they get to the other side. Meredith, who's never taken a pill in her life was like, eh, it's fine. So now they go to this cave, this like waterfall thing, and they have to walk to this waterfall thing. And they're all jumping off this little cliff. And Mary's like, wow, wow, Brittany, your turn. Your last jump, babe. Your next one's going to be on a plane.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
It's a lot out of the woods.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
It was very scary for you. I was over here just kind of watching it, and then everybody's calling like, are you sure you're okay? Because, you know, no matter what's going on, my general attitude is like, eh, what can you do? And it was on the – yesterday, as we were recording, it was on the west side, and it was blowing west, which got Malibu. I mean, it got the Palisades.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
You know what? It's like Britney's living in a parallel universe where everything's all rainbows and unicorns. But like, just because you look super hot in a bikini doesn't mean I forgot you were recording us an hour ago.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
It was just such a violation of trust. Like, absolutely. Like, I've supported you. I've defended you.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And Brittany's like, oh, my gosh.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And Brittany's like, I did this. And she starts making poses like she was just trying to take pictures of scenery behind her head, which is an obvious lie. And so they're like, oh my God, stop changing your fucking story, you know? And Heather's like, I cannot help you if you continue to lie. And she's like, don't defend me then. I've already told you my intentions.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Yeah, so Meredith is like, is this a joke? What are you doing here? Because it feels like you're starting all kinds of stuff with everybody. You started all kinds, you said horrible things about me that were false. And she's like, horrible things? Seriously, Meredith? Well, I don't know why you tell anyone I threw up, because I told you I didn't throw up.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
No, I thought Meredith, like she's saying that Meredith is going through withdrawals because she couldn't get her drugs on the plane.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
So Meredith is like, well, I don't know why. But, you know, I think that Meredith is smarter than that. I think you can take pills on the plane. And if she's popping pills, those are most likely prescribed. She doesn't pop pills.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Period. But there's only one thing that I haven't come clean about on this trip, guys.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And I dare not even say it. Because I just want to go home.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
yes but everybody's telling me no don't worry where you where your house is it's not even close i mean when the wind's blowing west there's no way it would make it that far east and so i'm like okay you know what can you do and i'm just checking on my friends we're of course all on group chats and stuff so just checking in and i'm getting all these videos from people and i'm like oh and then before you know it of course look where it shows up i'm putting a picture on for people on demand this is my house the little house is it running here
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Yeah. She's, she's a joke. So then Mary, Mary's so funny because mostly on this show, I think the criticism, well, there've been a lot of criticisms of Mary over the year, but I think one of the biggest ones is that she's so checked out. Like, she's not paying attention. She doesn't want to be there. But she is so checked in this year. It's hilarious. She's the only person actually listening.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And she's like, what are you talking about? Like, that has nothing to do with recording us. Like, are you okay? But everybody else immediately falls for it. And Brittany's like, I wanted to keep it private, Heather. You understand, right? And Heather's like, give me your hand.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Angie, I totally get the point of this in a way you'll never understand everybody else who doesn't have two books about escaping Mormonism. And by the way, I just want... Now, with someone with a book coming out in about three weeks that covers this topic... I just want to say, cue up a Heather monologue.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
You know, it's so hard for her to say that. And her saying that, it's like coming out of the closet. And she's coming out of the closet with some very split ends. It's just humiliating, guys. And Angie goes, the Mormon closet. And she goes, it's a big deal, Angie. Oh, please. You do not get the same thing. You're coming out of the closet. It's a totally different thing, ma'am. Okay.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
You're acting like you being a hypocrite about your religion and professing how religious you are and then going behind everybody's back and doing this. It's not the same as coming out of the closet. Sorry, you don't get that.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I love that Heather's doing this very serious thing, and she's doing her finger in the hole thing. She's like, you did this. Remember? You were shamed. Remember the Shane Bronwyn from your finger going in that hole like this?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And she's smart, Heather, because she knows, like, she's trying to help Brittany, and so she's trying, and she got Bronwyn where she wanted her, because now Bronwyn can make this about herself.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Heather, thank you so much for standing up for me. Why is there a QR code on your head? Oh, it's a pre-order for my book. Okay. Just sit back. I got it from here. So Brittany's like, you know, there's so much shame, guys. Like to grow up active LDS and every one of my family's LDS and I've got two brothers that are bishops and I've got... You know, nieces galore that look up to me.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And I just, I have the whole ensemble of Miss Saigon touring companies. It's just always looking forward to seeing what Ellen's up to. And I just, I have a whole congregation. You just have no idea what a big deal it is.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
This is the fire. Okay. This other fire down here, this is the Hollywood Hills fire that broke out. So it breaks out in Hollywood Hills. And I'm thinking, well, I'm still okay. Because it wouldn't jump the hill and move down. That's not how fires work. Right? And it did. So this was me. So I ended up sitting on that fucking ring cam. Because I have a ring cam that faces the hills. So I'm...
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Here's my deepest, darkest secrets. Take it or leave it. I don't. There it is. It's going to change my life forever. Well, a little bit more than me saying that I was dating about 10 guys at a time. And how much I loved wine as I guzzled one on camera. But still, this is awful for me, you guys.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
May I pack? And so Bronwyn's, so Whitney's like, yeah, you were drinking margaritas. And she's like, oh my God, I'm so screwed, you guys. I'm just so screwed. And Bronwyn's like, okay, everybody gather around. It's Bronwyn time. I understand what it feels to be shamed. And with my daughter, nobody was happy for me. Nobody supported me, but I did it.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
They wanted me to put her up for adoption, but I didn't. And the best thing that ever happened to me, the proudest thing that I ever did was get a $4 million ring on my anniversary to a man I can barely stand. But also I had a daughter and that was pretty great too. The best part of waking up- Thank you, everybody.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And also, please stop calling Lisa a stupid whore. Remember when you called Lisa a whore?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
See, Lisa? She admitted it. She admitted it. So then Heather's like, these are the women. Heather is not going to be out monologued. You know, she's like, I'm the monologist on this show. Excuse you. These are the women that gave me a bridge out of the space where you're in, where I was rejected by everyone. My neighbors are Mormon. My best friends are Mormon. My grandparents, my extended family.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I went to buy a puppy at a puppy mill and they were Mormon. They wouldn't even come.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I tried to join the mermaid movement and they wouldn't even have me. I was kicked out by a merman.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Mormon singing mermen. Do you know how hard it is getting kicked out of a room when someone's singing, there's no business like show business? Actually, I do. Okay, Brittany, you know what? We're not going into your IMDb right now.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Watching the helicopters go over my house and pour water because it was down the street. It was like a mile and a half down. So I saw what they were doing through the ring cam. And I'm just sitting there watching like, are you fucking kidding? Am I going to watch my house burn down two weeks after I finished it on the ring cam?
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And like, these are the women who stuck by me. Yeah, this is our good time, girl. It's like, yeah, there's an example of Lisa being there for somebody, slut shaming them the first episode of their season.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
You do have a very douchey bone in your body, though, and his name is Jared Osmond. So there's that. But, you know, and she's like, well, I'm sorry, Meredith, if you feel like I've betrayed your trust. Meredith goes, not Phil. Yeah, Dad.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
This is so me because, you know, I lived in New York for 9-11 and I happened to be visiting Texas when 9-11 happened. I wasn't I wasn't in New York. So when I finally got to travel back, because there were travel bans and all this, so when I finally got to come back, we lived in Brooklyn on Kent Avenue right across from the World Trade Center, right across the river. So that was it.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I came back to just devastation and that smoldering still. I mean, it was just... Crazy. And I was like, wow, I'm just fucking repeating history. I don't even know the idea of what it's going to look like when I come back. But, um, the pictures and the videos are just, yeah, it's, it's horrifying.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Um, and then I also seen on the internet and I have not verified. It's just all those thoughts that are going through your head at first. Cause
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
i can't tell i'm on the app so i'm just seeing okay well there's another one because they're popping up all over the place so the map was just like okay well i'm surrounded because they were in pasadena or altadena rather and then so that's to the east and then they were to the west and then they were to the south and it's like oh jesus you know and so when this popped up right there i was like well
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
We're fucked. So it's just watching it and writing it out and just spending the night talking to friends and making sure everything's okay. And everybody's okay. Everything is not okay. But making sure everybody's okay. It's so scary. Seeing what we can do to help each other. I had two friends like, go move to my house. And then they couldn't do that because...
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
you know that this happened so it was it's nuts so you know everybody bless you and you know we we record this show when national when um natural disasters are going on all around you and um us on what no matter what it is so we're gonna do the same by today honestly so many people reached out to us um and really like thank you so much we are very both very fortunate
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Yeah, seriously. Fuck yourself long and hard. In a bad way, you know. The good news is. And, you know, the rest of you who are fucking yourselves in a good way. You're fucking yourself in a good way. We all need that right now. So, yeah. So our hearts go out, you know, obviously to everybody. And does it seem kind of macabre that we come here and laugh? Yes. So we are going to continue. Yes.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
That's what we're gallows. Humor is coping mechanisms. That's what we're doing today.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
This might be a 10-part episode is what we're saying. So also, I just got some golden shoes in the mail. Very excited for the golden crappies that are coming out, you know, coming up. in a couple of weeks on February 1st in New York City on Broadway. We've got a big Broadway show planned. So we know a lot of, we're almost sold out there. We cannot wait to come.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
If you haven't gotten your tickets, this is not one that you want to miss. It's going to be amazing. We're also starting this tour in a couple of weeks before that. I mean, we're starting in a couple of weeks, basically a week from tomorrow, right? No, no. Two weeks from tomorrow. No. Okay, two weeks from tomorrow, we start in San Francisco, and then the next day, we are in San Diego.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And then the following week after the crappies, we'll be in Salt Lake City and Denver. So find your tickets for all of that at WatchWhatCrappens.com. And that's also where you'll get video, which we're on today. So join us there. Thanks for your support, everybody. Let's get on with this.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
Experience the convenience of having your favorite subscriptions in your Prime Video account with one login and one password.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
recap of a brilliant oh my goodness i mean oh my goodness if there was anything like if if if you need a distraction from anything going on in this world whether it's wildfires or not turn to real houses of salt lake city so we are in talk about giving you hope i mean yesterday our second recap that we did was real housewives of new york that came out this morning and i was just a bitter better i was so horrible i apologize to anybody who had to suffer through that but you know like we're watching the world burn down and we're
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
talking about these vapid idiots, Brynn and Aaron, and I'm like, you know what, I can't take it. So I'm sorry, that probably wasn't very pleasant for you guys. And I was thinking this morning how I was checking the fire, you know, I was up all night, so I slept through the morning. So I woke up checking the fires and everything, and I was like, fucking Aaron and Brynn.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And I was like, you're more upset this morning about Aaron and Brynn than you are about fire. I mean, does that say where my priorities are? I was still mad this morning. Well, you know, you've got, it's like wildfire versus dumpster fire.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
So actually, it was all right with that episode. But I'm good. Listen, I'm happy. I'm happy that it brought my friends happiness, you know. So thanks, show. But I don't need to open that can of worms. I'm just saying because I thought it was so funny that I was still mad this morning. And I felt bad for doing such an angry recap. But then I watched this and I was like, wow.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
But then you see how it's really done. You know? So we still got it.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
That was the best shit I've ever seen. I rewound it. And was there milk in the Keurig? What kind of Keurig was that? I think there was milk in it. She probably poured milk in it.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
So then we go to Angie and Lisa and Bronwyn eating breakfast and Bronwyn is saying, you know, how'd you sleep? I said, fine, whatever. So then we go to Lisa and she's like, you know, I didn't sleep great last night because I took everything that was said at the dinner table and I had to like work through it. And then it was really difficult for me.
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#2682 RHOSLCS5E15 + Sold on SLC Part One: For The Record
And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, at that dinner, Bronwyn came into my room and let me know that she was talking about me with Angie and Whitney and Heather. Fucking Bronwyn, man. Starts it, And then goes to turn it on everybody else immediately. What a little snake, man.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yeah, Lexi tries to find Amanda, but Amanda's hiding in the shower to cry because they can't film you in there, I guess. But they're still filming right outside the door. It's your Amanda inside the shower like, yes.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I mean, there might one day be a time where I meet somebody worth marrying. I mean, that could be, you know, 10 years away, 20 years away, light years away. I want to have a bachelorette party. So then we see a flashback to five years ago when Hannah and Amanda and Paige were all friends and Amanda was saying, is there such thing as sister wives without a husband?
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And Paige said, yeah, they're called lesbians.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yeah. So she's saying, you know, I'm just trying to avoid a situation where Craig and Kyle don't speak again, because if that happened, I genuinely don't think I could stay in this house. And which obviously, you know, you're clear of that now. So that's helpful. Yes. But they're talking about how it's always somebody else's fault.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Meanwhile, we go to the kitchen and Danielle and Emeril are in there. And the chef's like, okay, are you ready for dessert? This party's amazing, am I right? Lindsay's like, oh my God, oh my God, show. Eat this piece of cake and then look at your tongue and that's gonna tell you what the baby's gonna be. He's like, I already knew this. I made all the pink food.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
and he's like um i was just like so proud because like all my life i've dealt with rough situations by like being funny and so like you know sierra laughing at me that like really saved the day you know it's like a huge step like i mean i sound like i'm in eighth grade guys right i'm just a little boy just an insecure little boy
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
He's just trying to get himself out of bullying by getting stupid haircuts. He's like, well, maybe they'll laugh at me and then I'll get out of it.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Don't leave, bro. Don't leave. So Danielle is still flirting with Emeril and Carl comes into the kitchen and she's like, um, Carl, what the fuck is going on? And Carl's like, oh, Kyle's checking on Amanda and I'm trying to calm him down a bit.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
That's a power move. Lexi's her secretary. She's like, I don't care who you've dated. You're the youngest and the dumbest and the one who still doesn't understand what lip liner is supposed to do. So please do my bidding. Thank you. She's like, okay. So then Danielle and Lindsay are still in the kitchen and Danielle's like, oh my God, Emeril, do you still want to go out?
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And he's like, a thousand percent. I'm here for the weekend. I'm going out every night. Do you not want to go out? She's like 100% I want to go out. Send it. Do you want to spin the bottle before we go? Just a suggestion.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
This whole fight, I mean, I know they're on TV and they have to do dramatic stuff, but why doesn't Paige just go, you're an idiot, stop yelling at me and yell at Craig and Hannah if you want to yell at somebody.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yeah, get Paige into it. Text me about it. So then we go to the other people, and West is like, wait a minute, are you staying in, Jesse? And Jesse's with Lexi in the bed, and he's like, yeah, I mean, what could be more fun than looking at her? Am I right?
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
She goes, entanglements? Let's unpack this. And Danielle's like, yeah, let's really unpack this. Like, how many entanglements do you have? Do you have room for one more? Like, or do you have a certain amount of arms? You're like an octopus where you can only have eight entanglements. Like, how many entanglements can you have? I'm right here.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yeah. She's like, oh my God, I love red flags. I have a whole blanket at home made out of red flags. It's amazing. And he's like, yeah, absolutely. Right. And she goes, yeah. Cause like, as long as there's transparency, you could do whatever the fuck you want. Say right now on top of this cake in a kitchen. Yeah.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So Carl and Kyle are outside again and we get another round of this. Are you all right? I just want to leave and I never want to come back. I'm drunk driving my way to safety. And then back to the girls, Amanda and Paige still crying all over each other.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So in the kitchen, West is now talking to Lindsay. And he's like, you know what's crazy? Like, you can say the craziest shit if you want because, like, you're pregnant. And so, like, no one's going to talk shit to you. Pregnant ladies getting away with everything. So I'm going to go to a friend's house. See ya.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
He's so Amanda uncomfortable. He's like, I, I'm going to go to my homies house because I don't want to make it uncomfortable for Sierra. If I like hook up. Cause you know, I'll just do the stud with unlimited options guys. And don't you forget it.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So Lexi and Jesse are in bed.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
You want to go check it out?
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So they go to an unsuccessful hot tub scene.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yeah, so Carl's going to go out with Emeril and Danielle West. And so Lindsay's like, um, West just left. So now they're going to go out. They're going to go have fun. And then Jesse and Lexi fail at the hot tub because it's not hot. And he's like, yeah, you know, I just don't remember ever staying home like one night in the house.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And I was just so worried I had cancer on that night, you know, but this is different because I don't have cancer, but I have a girlfriend, I guess.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So now Amanda's in bed and Kyle comes in. He's like, I just ate something. He's like, Kyle, go to bed. I'm leaving. So now it's late night and we see people coming back to the house at 219 a.m. And Lexi and Jesse are still by the hot tub. And he's like, does it even feel a degree warmer?
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yeah. You hear some bacon and then it's the next morning and West slinks home at 7 13 AM. And then, uh, everybody else gets up and Jesse's like, Lexi's like,
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And he was like, oh my God, I love you.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
He's like, oh my God, you gave me a thanks?
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I love that. It's like a mom who doesn't want to be woken up on a Saturday.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Anything but here, bitch. Get out. So then Paige and Sierra are like, ugh, we have to do this again. I don't want to go to the beach. And she's like, yeah, let's just stay home and get our cats and like have a play date. We have cats now. So then in the kitchen, Lindsay's down there and Lindsay's like, tell me what happened at the club. Let me tell you what happened at Club Lindsay.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I'm having a girl.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I mean, could not think of a more dull trio. And Danielle's like, well, he brought back a girl. She goes, oh my God, is the girl still here? It's like, I don't know. And she's not, she left. But Lexi comes in and they're like, where's West? He didn't sleep at home last night. You guys slept down here and that room was open.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
No bone zone. Wayne, so where did you sleep? He's like, on a couch. Like, yeah, right. So the producer says, so did you sleep on the couch by yourself? And he's like, mm-hmm. No, of course not. Of course not. I'm West. Come on. I'm West, a man who never sleeps on a couch alone. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Laid. Constantly laid.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So, uh, West is like, yeah, I'm calling the new guy orgy beast. Yeah. Uh, so Amanda's like, um, yeah, he got laid. Like, I mean, he showed you guys up night one. He brought, oh, this is Amanda. Sorry. Not Lindsay. She's like, night one, he brought someone home. Like, how long did it take you to bring that girl back last summer, Jesse? He's like, oh, like week six.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And Lexi's like, um, are you telling me that Jesse has girls in the past? Oh my God, where's Doc? I'm getting in the car and I'm getting pissed off at Jesse.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Money for that gas. Just go buy a fucking router, dude.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
He also said to remind Kyle that he's a brain surgeon and not to fuck with him because he's got a lot of connection. Craig, you're not a brain surgeon.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Oh, I was just wearing those yesterday. Darn it, I wish they were warm right now. We could be twinsies, but it's pretty warm over here in Tejas.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Uh, so now they're talking about poor Kyle.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
You're the one putting it out in public on your show. Weirdo. Yeah. So it's just more of, like, it's typical what happens when Kyle acts like an idiot. Then the next day he's like, but I'm just a boy. I'm only normal. I'm just a human. It's everyone else's fault. They're hurting me. They're coming for me.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So on the way there, Jesse's in the car with not Lexi. They're separated for the first time. Yeah. Oh, my God. Do you have separation anxiety from Lexi? And he's like, oh, you know, I was thinking about like just talking about where I'm at with Lexi with Lexi. And I feel like I should be communicating, you know, like so far I've been pretty good. Like I've said juicy booty a few times.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So, you know, we're on a good path. But I would say like my main concern is I'm scared. Like she's a little bit jealous because what gives you that impression? And he's like.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
He's going to make her as attached as possible and then lay the groundwork that she's crazy. So that when he's over in a couple of weeks, everybody will be on his side.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So then Amanda's checking with Kyle, who's still moping around. He's like, I'm just in my head.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So he doesn't want to fight with Paige, so he asks to have a talk. And she's like, where do you want to go? And he's like, let's go by the dunes or something.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yes, we can-a, it's Sedana.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yeah, you got to be careful on that because everybody's a flake until everybody's not a flake suddenly. It's like you wake up and the whole world's changed and everybody's not a flake. Like, what the hell? You can't change it up like that on me. Are you flaked or not?
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I mean, come on.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
You're like, I just made some chocolate that could kill me if I came out in its country. He's like, no, thanks. I'll take my $25 and put it for a half a tank of gas to get me back to fucking Whittier.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Well, you could do what Leva did on Southern Hospitality and just be like, fuck you guys. You're all full of shit. These reviews are bullshit. It's a conspiracy against my husband. Okay, so Sierra is like, wait a minute. We can all invest in Loverboy? And he's like, yeah, I mean, minimum bid's 25 grand, same as it was in 2019. And Wes is like, I cannot afford that right now.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And Sierra's like, that's hilarious. You're hilarious again. You're really funny. That was funny. Oh, my God.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yeah, it's just weird. It's a weird fight. Like, who cares? Didn't you say last year your company's losing a ton of money anyway? Why would he want to? Just leave the man alone. Let him invest. And I'm no Craig fan at the moment, anyway. But, like, who cares? This is all stupid. And Craig is a liar. And it has nothing to do with Paige, you know?
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
She's like, well, I thought we were closer than you texting me just berating my boyfriend and my best friend. That's how—and he's like, but that was a lie. I was hurt. I'm only human. You know, that's always Kyle's thing when he's wrong. He's like, but I'm human. I'm only human.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
and sounds like craig said he was going to invest and then he didn't invest and then did something with this other company is that what i'm deducing from all this he asked kyle if he could invest in his company and kyle said uh give me give me some time to think about it and then craig was like well that i'll go invest in this other spritzer company or i don't think he's i don't know if he's an investor if he's just paid to advertise it because
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And Paige is up now and walking away. You know, she's like doing her strut away. And all I can think of for the rest of the scene is I'm so jealous that she has thigh gap. Like, how does how does some of us get knock knees and then some of us get thigh gap? I can't walk off like that.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I walk off looking like the fucking penguin looking for his mommy, you know, and Paige just gets to like go thigh gap it up there. So I was kind of mad at her, but she's like, oh really? Well, I said, I don't even care about the Hannah stuff. And right now history, it's just repeating itself. We're fighting because Craig did something with another drink company. Oh, so it's my fault.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
It's my fault for being human. It's my fault.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And Paige, who is now all the way through the living room, somehow hears this. It turns, flips back around, and she walks out there with her finger out, and she's like, thigh gap, thigh gap, thigh gap, thigh gap, Kyle!
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
is beating like this how dare you i started off this weekend normal and you've turned me into a character from mob lives now i'm just marissa tomei he's like okay i told you have your moment have your moment man i was like hi What? Have what? Are you telling me to have my mug? Patriots was ready to go off at every line. And he's like, you're just yelling at me. She goes, yeah, I'm yelling at you.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
What about it? Thigh gap. And he's like, all right, congratulations. You yelled at me.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Page makes it sound like he's just being paid to advertise it anyway. But either way, you know, if if someone from another show that's bigger than yours, frankly, ratings wise says, I want to be part of your thing and also advertise it on my show, then you don't really need to think about it. That's stupid. Just say yes.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
No, but Kyle's mad because they're getting a lot of hate messages from probably Giggly Squad fans. You know, that's a very strong lobby. You know, they're like the tobacco lobby. Like, you don't want to fuck with them because they're ripping him apart.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So Kyle gets up and he's like ripping his bib off, which is hilarious because he's just so little. He's like, I'm done with these Cheerios. And he's like, that was slander.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So Sierra goes inside, and Chef Andrew's there, and he's like, so how was everything? Are we into pink foods? Did you like the grapefruit? Tell me what you thought of the grapefruit. And she's like, I hate this fucking house. He's like, I didn't ask you about the house. Did you enjoy the pink food? That is going on my resume.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And let me just come up with some numbers or something, which maybe I think that's what Kyle said he did.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
but it's you, wow. Come in, I guess. Yeah.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yeah, and so he's saying that because Paige made him rage text, which started a fight, so now it's Paige's fault that his wife is mad at him yet again. Wow, the acrobatics that it's taking.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Blaming other people? I'm getting shot at another fucking time. I'm getting shot at by people. I'm getting shot at by people.
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#2754 Summer House S09E4 Part Two: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
You're going to love it there. Have you ever done a kissing booth? We normally do that on night one. So it looks like I'm the only one here.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
It's so heteronormative. Where's the T-shirt for taco contract? You know, where's the taco? I vote that baby's gonna be a taco.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yeah, so they get their clues and they run around figuring out where Steph is. And Carl's like, oh, yeah, I mean, it's a little weird. Yeah, sure. It's like a little weird, you know, but I'm just going to be happy and supportive because I'm Carl 9.0. And it's important for me to just be like in good spirits, you know, because like last summer, I did not have a fun time.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And then we cut back to a scene from last summer where he's like, you started insulting me and then telling me I'm literally doing drugs.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Well, can I be upset? You're always allowed to be upset. Why am I not allowed to be upset?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
It's important for me to have vibes, guys. Good vibes. Good vibes, guys. Like, what am I going to do? Sit in the corner and go like, I don't want to be a part of this. Well, you just spent the last two years doing it. I don't know why it would be any different now.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I'm not really sure if it's a boy or a girl, but my baby definitely loves a little mermaid already.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
My baby, we just got a sonogram, and my baby is wearing a poncho and a headband. My baby officially identifies as an art teacher. Okay? So we're just going to go with that.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Guess what? Well, my speech and debate teacher is not really art, but it was my art. It still is. And let me give you a speech to describe how much it meant to me. Her name was Norma Garrett, which is the same as Facts of Life. And I ended up moving in with her when I was kicked out when I was 15, when I came out of the closet.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Look at how this is becoming, I came out of the closet when I was 15 episode. Guys, let's all pull out our wieners.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
She's like, okay, let me teach you how to give a speech. Rap dress.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So the first clue is, go to the place Kyle likes to cry. Kyle's tears are like, God, they're omnipresent. You could go anywhere and there should be a box because that man literally cries everywhere, but it's his car. So I guess they're like, it's your car, right? Another clue is when Lindsay needed a break last year, where did she go without any fear?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yeah. Then, let's see, they're running around looking for the next clue, and this is where the boys whip out their cocks, find the clue, and it will take you to the box. Okay. So then they're like, okay, where do they like to pee? What'd you say? In the backyard. That's where they pee, right? But Kyle, and I liked that Kyle said, but I pee over the railing. Well, I guess I pee everywhere.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Where do I pee the most? And if he's drunk when he does it, that it took the girls to find it, right?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I wore my light blue shirt because I'm team blue.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
We can press stop and put it on. No one's going to stop you. So she, you know, it's going to be a girl and they look deeper into the box and they're like, oh my God, it's a box of condoms. So that was nice.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yeah. Wait, Marshalls is selling Plan B boxes now? What the hell? So Amanda's like, oh my God, my tummy hurts from running Kyle. And there's a chef there. So he's going to make them some dinner and stuff, which, you know, look, that's great. I would prefer to hire somebody to clean this shit up. That's a lot of people to clean up after. If I'm going to spend the money, I'm getting a maid.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Has Lindsay called her baby cocaine baby yet? Because it was really rough. Trying to let it go. Trying to let it go. It was rough.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So they've checked in, and now Carl is showing Carl his phone. He's like, can't you believe this? And we see the headline that says, Hannah Burner claims ad for Loverboy competitor led to summer house firing. Which is so silly, because it's like, Hannah still hasn't watched that season. She's like, I'm It must've been the ad. It must've been the ad.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And Carl's like, yeah, it was going on a podcast talking shit about me and my business. And she's saying publicly that I got her fired. I mean, what the fuck, man? Carl's like, oh, yeah, that really sucks. That really sucks. He's like, yeah, because I value and put so much trust into my friendship with Paige. And I'm like, she's always played Switzerland, which I kind of respect. But you know what?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
At some point, you got to choose, you know? I mean, it's fucking ridiculous. Like, where do you stand in this, you know? Are you the little hot chocolate bitch or are you for watches? Switzerland fight, Switzerland fight.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I just say, stop being such a wuss. If you've got a problem with Hannah doing this, fucking call Hannah. Like, why are you such a wuss about it? Like, why do you need such a proxy to do it? Stop crying. I mean, listen, spoiler alert. Kyle spends the rest of the episode. He's crying more than half of this episode. Like, get the fuck over it. Grow up, brah. Jeez.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And he's like, well, you know, I'm trying to give her leeway because like, I know she can't control people on their life. Say, but like, I was her, you know, like her friends going on podcast, talking shit about me and my business. And like, I was just spiraling. I was like rage texting page. You know, I think I boiled over. I think I boiled over, bro.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Well, hopefully she's not mad at you because, wow, Wednesday date. Like, when I die on my gravestone, it's going to say, here lies cocaine Carl. Took me on a Wednesday date.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I think that baby is going to be chain smoking by the time it's first birthday. One can only hope. Meet me at Pizza Beach. We got some business to discuss.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So he goes straight to the food and just starts eating it in secret and like looking at the cameras as he kind of chows it down. And Danielle and Lindsay are getting ready and being cute. And then Lindsay goes to the kitchen and Kyle and Amanda are reading the phone. And Amanda's like, Lindsay, Turner texted you and Kyle and I are both so nosy. We were like reading it. And he's like, wow, wow.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
We just like lit up. It's like, um, are we saying his name? Or like, are we not saying his name, Lindsay? Like, are we allowed to say Turner? Turner?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
God, Danielle, how did they ever let you go? So Lindsay's like, oh, I know it's kind of strange that my ex-fiancé is here and not my real fiancé, but like, you know what? I've never been with anyone so private. It's just like, oh, it's strange. Sorry. Sorry, things happen. Who's there? It's a little burp.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And there have been questions. If you're already signed up on Patreon, this won't affect you. It's only if you're a new sign up. So yeah, don't give Apple that money for doing nothing.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So, you know, everyone's complimenting the decorations and stuff. There's so much pink stuff. And then there's some cheersing with Danielle and Emeril. Danielle totally wants Emeril. I don't care what anybody says. She's like, yeah, tell me more about it. Tell me more about it, Emeril.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
danielle wants the d yeah danielle i'm just it's it's a strong it's it's vibes guys and he's like hey here's to a great weekend everybody and she's like yo welcome to the house oh yeah we love sex swings here don't we guys don't we don't we
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So now Danielle's talking to Jesse at the sink and she's like, oh, she's doing dishes or something. She's like, oh my God, touch your shoulders before. And I was like, oh my God, I guess I shouldn't do that. Cause like before when we were outside, I mean, I just met Lexi and like, that's so awkward. Cause like you guys were together, but like I'm touching her boyfriend.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Like I want to be, you know, like I want to be respectful and everything, you know?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
He's like, well, yeah, but if that's not okay, then I'm, like, seriously worried. And you know what? I'm not sure that it is okay. So... Listen, why is he already painting this girl out to be psycho? Now she's not really helping it with like being jealous after the first week and stuff, but he could have avoided all of this by just saying, okay, you don't want to have sex until we're dating.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Then let's just not have sex. Yes. And take it slow. Like what's the harm with just like getting to know someone is your penis really that like, I must be, you've already had like three other girls on the line. So why couldn't you just say, okay, well then let's just kind of take it slow and not, you know, not bang yet.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Okay, so here's what I typed in. R-J-E-S-S, and then a bunch of things popped up that said, are Jesse and Lexi still together? That's the first Google result. You know what? I'm so proud of us, America. I know it looks like we're going down the drain right now in a lot of respects, but I still believe. I look at our search algorithms, and I still believe in us.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Okay, so here we are with Summerhausen, season nine, episode four.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
What was the first thing you typed in?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
A-R-E, the word R, and then J-E-S-S, and it popped up immediately.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So let's see here. So Jesse's like, oh, this is very different from every other relationship, you know, because like I'm rusty, you know, and she said she's jealous and I'm willing to change guys really, you know, but hopefully for the better. But I just don't want to change who I am and my character like for someone I just met.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
but why does your character have to be you know banging a ton of people now at the for as far as the flirting with the housemates and stuff he should just say that's my friendship right what do you think what character and what personality does jesse actually have beyond smiling he makes up songs about himself that's something yeah and he sort of speaks like this a little bit that's like his personality he smiles
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
It's wild actually being here for a summer where my balls are actually producing sperm again.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And they had some pasta with some like cream sauce, like some red cream sauce. That's good too. And that's all I really noticed. But I mean, I guess what are you going to have? Like some watermelon, you know, that's maybe a little bit overripe or underripe, I guess would be pink. Some sad watermelon.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Worse, I think, what would you do if it was blue? What would you do if it was a baby? What would you do if you had a baby?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
All right, everybody, we're just having expired cheeses. It would be blue cheese.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So thank you for participating in my gender thing. It means so much to me. And so everybody's congratulating her, but it's a gender reveal and nobody here has any interest in this. So it becomes super quiet. So then Carl's like, okay, well, what are we going to name her? That's my question. I think we should name her Sendit. Sendit.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Well, it's super interesting that this is her kind of comeback to Summer House in ghost form because she's getting ripped apart right now on the internet.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Not with that thing. Get me a bottle for Christ's sake.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So give me something you're not going to use. Any more eggs? How about that? Kyle knows that he's in trouble, right? Cause Paige is ignoring him and won't answer him and won't look at him and stuff. He has to really try to get that answer out.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So he's starting to like, you know, his eyes get really wide and he starts doing his like internal freak out of like being confronted over things that happened when he was drunk. We've seen it for nine years now. So here he goes down his shame spiral. And now they're talking about, you know, they're just making a little small talk about Lexi and her family.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So Jesse's like, well, he's totally with drinks. And then we went back to her apartment, drank for probably four or five hours. And then we went to the club at like 2.30. And Kyle's like, you went to the club with their parents? This was all a parent's day? And she's like, yeah. Yeah, her mom put on jean shorts and a blazer and her dad was wearing all black. I already commented on her mom's post.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
You look hot as fuck. I want to slap your ankles with my wiener. Lexi got mad. That's something I'm working on.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Like, oh my God, we're going to go out with my parents. My mom's wearing short shorts and a blazer. No, we're broken up. Okay. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I can't. Please. Just give your sister these before. Just give your sister these as a goodbye present. Makeup wipes. Okay. Thank you. I'm like, club owners know my parents' name.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Dave and Hannah were on the red carpet for the Oscars interviewing people. And it was, you know, maybe a little cringy. And they had Megan Thee Stallion, or as I call her, Megan Thee Stallion, on the red carpet. And they just couldn't shut up. They were talking over her. And Hannah's like, oh, my God, I'm going to cry. Yeah. You know, I love your music.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And I'll literally be like rolling up with my parents and they're like, slay, slay. And like probably say every guy I've dated has met my parents like so casually because like obviously I'm always with them.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And you know, and I know that people are close to their family, but this is too much, you know? And you know that anytime you do anything wrong, you're going to get the mom and the sister on your ass. And then later you're going to have to have the talk with the dad where he's like, you know what, champ? You disappointed us today. All right. Yeah. Okay, buddy. All right, champ.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
That's where you think you're talking about my little girl there, buddy. Okay.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Amanda's like, Amanda's got her face full of crabs. She's like chewing like this big crab leg. She's like, no, do it right now.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Oh, you know, same old, same old. Why don't you ask Kyle what's up? He's had a lot to say this week. And you know when Paige gets mad, speaking of cartoons, because I was actually studying Paige's eyebrows yesterday. Because I was like, what's happening with her eyebrows? Why is one curved and then one's in a triangle?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
But then as the episode went on and my study continued, I realized they're actually both curved, but she has such an anger eyebrow that it will go completely angular. She's mad. One was curved and then the other was completely in a triangle. And she was like, yeah, ask Kyle about it. He's had a lot to say this week. And Kyle's like, uh, so you're upset. She's like, yeah. Yeah, Kyle. About?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
You raged texting me last week talking about Hannah and Craig?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Well, I was heard that your business partner is still out there lying about why she's no longer in the house, okay? Then that's just what happened. She's like, well, it's two different experiences. You'll never agree. It doesn't matter because you guys aren't going to be friends, so it doesn't matter.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Every time I listen to you, like I listen to you when I want to fight someone. I listen to you when I want to fight someone. This poor lady's just like, uh-huh. And she's taking it pretty well, but they're like fanning out all over her acting crazy. So first they were just getting ripped apart for being bad interviewers. You know, people are like, don't put podcasters on the red carpet.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Oh, good. Hit it. Nailed it. Nailed it. Listen, the way Greg went about it hurt me, okay? There are multiple lies, multiple lies, to be honest. You know what that did to Loverboy's stock? You know, people who drink Loverboy are really worried about my personal reputation and what Hannah Barter says. She's like, what was Greg supposed to do? You know, he went about it in the right way, Kyle.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
He told you he was doing it, and then he did it. Mm-hmm.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Hava Nagila Weber.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yes, we canna. It's Savannah.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Which I don't know, as an overall blanket statement, I don't know that that's fair. I know that you shouldn't put me on the red carpet because I'd be like, oh my God, what's your favorite color M&M? Do you think M&M's really talk? Have you ever put an M&M in your belly button to save it for later?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So... Well, if you want some pot belly unluck, just cook something Gail likes. LAUGHTER You know, it was kind of cringy, but it was our first time, whatever. I didn't think that much of it, but there have been thread after thread about these two. So then Hannah today came out with a big apology on... Which, this is what I saw.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
yeah she came out with a big apology like oh my god i you know i met one of my idols and i got to speak to her and it's always been my dream to interview her and so i used the word fight because i guess people are you know inferring like a microaggression because she yeah you know she said she uses that music to fight or whatever i mean i would have said with violence you know yeah how did you know it's so funny too easy in your name you know i would have asked i would have been dumber let me just
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
So yeah, that's what's going on with that stuff. But yeah, just don't put me on a red carpet. Bringing it all back to me, just don't ever do it. It's just not a good idea. Cause I saw that and I was like, oh no, she's probably Oprah compared to me.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I'd have been like, oh my God, girl, you're the reason women used to have to hide their ankles. Because that is scandal. That is scandal.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Hey, ankle. Here, put the mic up to the ankle. Icon, mother! What do you have to say about that?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Okay. Oh God. My Botox is so wearing off. Look how much I can move my face. This is disgusting. This is supposed to last three months. How much am I supposed to pay for Botox for fuck's sake? My, my eyebrow muscles are okay. I'm going to do the rest of the podcast. Just holding my eyebrows like this. All right, Ben. Go ahead. Sure, I'll do it too in unison as support.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I'm going to need to hold my face like this for Summer House. It's Summer House Day, so let's get into it. So, Sierra has just learned about the text from Kyle. And Paige has just said... You're lucky I don't buy Loverboy and sell it. So now a big group is sitting outside relaxing and Jesse's like, you know what, guys? No beef this weekend. Just vibes.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
so kyle comes out he hugs everyone and rule and everything and jesse's like daddy's home so yeah why is jesse like how is it that jesse is so young i mean he's so young but he's like a divorced dad you know like dropping his cheerleader daughter off at like a party, a senior party. Being like, hey girls, hey. He's like unbuttoned one extra button before he goes in. Why does he give those vibes?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
What, a nestled baby? No, just Jesse jumping over into dad mode. I don't think I'm ready for that. I need time, you know? This is summer house. This has taken nine years to get someone into parent mode. I need my time.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Yeah, I'll be like, juicy booty. Someone needs a diaper change. Someone's got juice in their booty. He'll just use the same terminology, but change the meaning. In a non-creepy way, he'll just take everything. OK, so they're like, where's Bailey? Bailey's not here this weekend, which I don't know. if anyone else noticed, but they did. And Lexi- I guarantee that's the last time they're gonna ask.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
That's the last time we're gonna hear that. Okay, go on. And it's over. Lexi's like, she hates you. Now she's like, she's having boyfriend issues, I think.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
so danielle's come danielle's still here so she's she comes up and uh it's just hugs you know it's a lot of hugs kyle's like whoa you need a hug we need a hug she's like i know it has been so long since i've been here really been working on my oh hey everybody else lover boy lover boy
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I just don't believe this on Summer House, a gender reveal scavenger hunt. You want me to, you want this to believable? You want this to be believable? You need to like lose your baby and then have everybody scrambling to find your baby. Cause that's natural. You know what I mean for this cast? She'll just be like, um, I lost my baby.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I got on the phone at the subway and next thing I know I was on the train and I was like, oh my God, I left my baby on the bench. Everybody find it.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Well, I've been to a gender reveal, but it turned out to be a circle jerk. I just didn't really understand the terminology until... What color is this luge? It's like you're supposed to pull out your wiener. Like, oh, so I guess this is a gender reveal, huh? They're like, no, actually, that has to do with dyed smoke. Oh, sorry. Sir, please put your penis away. This is... What color is the cake?
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
I don't know. I think it's like hiding sexuality. It's like hiding anything else. It's like when you finally come out of the closet, you're just like, Give it over. You know, where's the nearest wiener factory? You know, you're just like, I'm so gay. Oh, my God, Chaparron. I love Chaparron. I love Cher. I love Cher, too. Have you ever seen Big Business? Oh, my God.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
Just do it all at one time. It took me so long to get here. Although it only took me until I was 15. But I was still really excited. Hence the gender reveal party I told you about earlier. Okay, so next up, Danielle's like, I feel like a gender reveal usually includes the baby daddy for one. You know, I mean, I just spent such a lot, you know, Turner, like, I don't think Turner's coming to this.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
In fact, I know he's not coming to this, but you know who is? Her ex-fiance. So maybe she's just trying to rub it in Carl's face.
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
shut the fuck up danielle do you have any loyalty to anybody on this show don't start shaming somebody because i'm glad that she didn't bring fucking turner to this and i'm glad she's gonna raise that damn baby alone what kind of lady are you leave her alone yeah and ted turner's old he doesn't have time to go to these things so i say is he still with us he's still popping out children men will still men will still get the baby till they're 90 years old al pacino
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#2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle
That's it. Well, Lindsay's not passive-aggressive anyway. She's just straight-up aggressive. So I don't think you should ever accuse her of passive aggression. You know, she doesn't care. And if Carl doesn't like it, go home, Carl. Okay?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Is anybody surprised that Aaron Pfeiffer's family are a bunch of fucking moochers who showed up, moved into their house and then refused to move out to the point that she had to go get a different place? Nothing about that surprised me at all. What fucking losers get your own house? You weirdos. Who does that?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Yeah, weird. So then they go to Pilates. Denise and Sammy go to Pilates. She's like, well, I found us a new place to go to Pilates because my Pilates trainer is doing a retreat in the Cayman Islands. And she goes, um, where's that? She's like, uh, it's in the Cayman Islands, honey.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
and we didn't even have subscription back then. So you can just imagine what she's doing. You know, Sammy, she's got a good career and some dead eyes. I'm just real proud of her. So then we just watch them do their Pilates and it's really hard for Sammy. She's like, oh my God, mom, it's like hard to believe that you're not struggling. No, she's not struggling. She's been doing this shit for years.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
She's a pro, okay?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Well, I don't know. OnlyFans money is a specific kind of money. Like that's a lot of money. You're not going to make that working at the ice cream shop and you're not going to make it modeling either. So what's your last name, Sheen?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
I don't know.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
How much does she make on OnlyFans? Let's see. Three million dollars. Sammy Sheen, 20, the daughter of actor Charlie Sheen and actress Denise Richards, has reportedly earned more than three million bucks since launching her OnlyFans account after her... Alright, stay in OnlyFans.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
That's what I'm saying. You're not going to make that money modeling. That's crazy. Yeah, OnlyFans it is. God damn. There was a market for moobs. I'd be rich, I tell you. Rich! Look at these things! It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
So she's like, well, Mom, I was kind of pissed that you made an OnlyFans. She's like, I was just trying to support you. She's like, Mom, it's weird. She goes, no, because there were headlines that were making fun of Sammy. So I was like, I'm going to support my daughter, and I'll be on OnlyFans, too. I mean, what mother wouldn't do that for their child?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
I wish my mom was like that. She's like, honey, I wanted to support you today. So I freaked myself on camera for some truck drivers. Thanks mom. That is so sweet. I made sure it was in the news too. So don't worry about it. So this says, according to Denise Richards, um, as of March 29th, 2024, Denise Richards making $2 million monthly. Holy mother. Wow. That's wild. That makes me so gel.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Like, why can't I have something to sell for $2 million a month? What the hell?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
No one's going to pay me that. I wouldn't make $5 on that thing. They'd pay me to turn my camera off. Maybe that's what I'll do. I'll just start naked and I'll just start putting clothes on the more money I get.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
So she's just being supportive, which is really funny. And she's like, mom, it's really hard explaining to my friends why my mom is on OnlyFans.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
At the school here in Lakeway, there's apparently a mom who has on the back of her car in carpool, it says, come to my OnlyFans. She's like written it on the back of her car as an advertisement for all the dads, because it's like some hot mom. So all the dads in the carpool line go to her OnlyFans. I was like, that is so embarrassing for the kid, but also so fucking smart of that mother.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
It's the other dads.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Yeah, that's why I keep giving us shows, all right? By the way, I'm out earning you, so stop your bitching, okay? I've got three townhouses and a Malibu mansion to pay for. So now Denise is seeing Camille and this is like a different Camille because it's not glammed up Camille at all. It's just like regular daily Malibu Camille. I've never seen this other Camille in glasses. Weird.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Well, you know, Camille and Kramer and I became friends like 20 years ago because our husbands are sitcom actors. I mean, we're always up against each other, you know, because you got Frasier, you got two and a half men. So boom, they became friends. We became friends. Like who won here? Who won here?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
You know, you moved here when you were 26, but then you married Kelsey when you were 28. But, you know, then you were married 14 years, but it was so rough on you when he left, you know, because you were so devastated, you know, because your whole world fell apart.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
And then the judgment from other people and being made out to be like this awful human. Yeah, I got it. I got it.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Anyway, so we get tossed to the curb with like a hundred million dollars. It was so hard. It's like, yeah, I never get divorced again. Even if we hate each other, I'm saying, you know how much these fuckers will take from me? They've already got my fucking house. All right.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
He's like, I mean, look, if you insist on getting 5G again, fine, but we're getting different homes. We'll just do something like that instead. But we're not going to hate each other.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
They're so romantic. So Camille's like, by the way, you look just like so gorgeous. You know, last time I saw you, you were just frazzled coming off a boat in Positano. That was so rough. She goes, I know. Oh, my God. I didn't even know where I was. Fucking Positano. That's right. That was funny. You know, last time I was there was with the housewives. Fuck those bitches. Am I right?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Well, you know, I don't know the details of their fight, but Sammy's ex-boyfriend Lola's remained friends with them or something. You know, I mean, I think it's Lola. I think it's Lola's ex-boyfriend. Sammy's been friends with him, right? No, Lola has remained friends. You know what, because Lola's like the sexier character name, right?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Like in Damn Yankees, the devil's assistant is Lola and she seduces people by being sexy, right? So I always think of Lola being the OnlyFans one, but it's not. Sammy's the OnlyFans one, and Lola is like the super Christian-y one. I mean, this whole show is a mindfuck, am I right?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
So Lola's like, I mean, she always thought in her head that I wanted a boyfriend, but I didn't. Oh, yeah. She's going to say that they've always been best friends. But I introduced them like he's one of my best friends. But they were talking about me behind my back. I mean, she expected me to just drop him because she dropped him. But like, he's still one of my best friends.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
You started dating one of her best friends. She should have been pissed at you for that, for taking her best friend away from her. And you don't get to like, say that she can't be friends with someone anymore, especially since she moved on. Get over it.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
It's a dictatorship. I mean, look at this. Malibu Party Food and Beverage Container Ordinance, otherwise known as . No balloons, no plastic, no meat or fish trays or egg cartons. You can't have meat, fish, or egg cartons?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Oh, I thought she was saying you can't eat meat. The way she said it, she said, no meat. What? And she's like, wait, that's what I thought at first too. Man, she's like, well, if I was a five-year-old, I'd be crying my eyes out if I had a birthday party in Malibu with no balloons. I mean, God, for Lola, we at least got her some strippers and they were wearing plastic, I'm pretty sure.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
All right, let's get on with Denise Richards and her wild things. Swacky Denise Richards getting her another solo show, guys. Yeah. We are. Here we are. What'd you think about it, Randy? I liked it. It's a little, um, Kim Zolciak ish, you know, not as trashy, but it's got kind of those vibes. Yeah. But I enjoyed it.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Illinois, you show up to the picnic, you shoot a fucking cow, you cook it right there with a plastic utensil, all right? Fuck this place.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
God's vacuum, we called it. So they go to this balloon store and Camille's like, why are we at a balloon store when the first thing on the list is no balloons?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
You're right. Cause this lady is like, I've worked in LA in service for a long time. So guess what we're going to do? We're going to treat this like a stupid fucking game. Okay. Let's go around all these meaningless laws. So they start to, and Denise is like, you can bring bamboo forks and knives and straws made out of sugar. What the fuck is that going to do?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
I don't even know people in this town that are 100% natural anymore. What the fuck is this? Can I fool you by implants at home, too?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
So she gets those forks and knives that are painted with silver. So they look like they're actual silver. And she's like, yeah, well, screw it. Let's just do this. All right, do you got bamboo cups or sugar cups? What, do we drink out of fucking sugar cups now? I mean, come on. And she's like, yeah, you drink it, then you eat the cup. She's like, fuck it. We're buying plastic.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
You know, my high PS got way worse when I finished that diet Coke can, but you know, it is what it is.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
You got Aaron's parents there just taking home everything that's not bolted down. His brother stayed there a whole night trying to get the picnic table up. So that was something. So this is their big wacky family all together. And she's like, here's all our bamboo shit, plastic ass plates bullshit. I'm gonna eat your crap out of that.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
It would be entertaining to get arrested because I had bought a plastic fork that I was trying to make look like stainless steel. This is fucking ridiculous.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
So Brooke is also there. Charlie's ex-wife, like they're really a blended family. She's like, yeah, I wanted to include Brooke, Charlie's other ex-wife. Cause you know, Hey, Hey Brooke, I wish you were still at that unit. I rented three of them. I rented three. We could still be in the same unit together.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Hey, where's Lola? So Lola comes late and makes a plate. And so Al, the husband, not the husband, the uncle, who's all, you know, tatted from head to toe, you know, like his face is like a dollar sign or something. He's like, so what's going on with you guys? And she's like, with who, with Sammy? He's like, yeah, you guys are beefing over a dude. She goes, I mean, she can just not let it go.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
It was interesting seeing her daughters because we really didn't see that much of her daughters. I kind of like how the trauma of the daughters has like spread out in different ways. Like you've got one daughter who's like, I'm only fans now. And then you've got the other one who's like super religious.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Turn the other cheek, am I right?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
No matter what happens, I know my sister's going to come in and draw eyebrows on me. Because it looked like you don't have any eyebrows. Because in the clip, Lola had done that thing where she bleached her eyebrows. That is a look, I'm sorry, I could just not ever get behind that look. Some looks people do and I don't get it because I'm just old and out of it. But then I get used to it.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
This look, I just can't. Every time I see someone with that, I'm like, who tricked you into doing that? Why would you do that?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
watch out the dictator of malibu's gonna harass you for having kids with legs so al is talking to uh aaron and he's having like that manly talk where he's like wow as a man that's in the same family as me like us men don't really have any say with these women these women folk and aaron's like oh you found that out did you why you think i'm standing over here by myself putting lids back on food okay welcome welcome to being a man god hey
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
We would only be successful if someone here was capable of holding themselves accountable. But I think like also she can not cuss me out and like be respectful. Um, yeah. Can you do that? Can you not cuss her out and be respectful? Um, can you stop hanging out with my ex?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
It's interesting watching how whatever has gone on in their lives has worked their way through two people in completely different ways. So that's pretty interesting to watch. I enjoyed it for the most part. I thought it was fun. Some fun camp.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
I want you guys to repair your relationship. Well, I don't want to do that. Oh, it's like, I don't want to do that. Cause like, why do you have to force it, mom? I'm not forcing anything. I'm just trying to make something happen. Okay. Mom's always on Sammy's side.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
So it's like, oh my God, guys, I'm really into this, but the chain of my purse is stuck in this goddamn picnic table. I can't get it out of the, oh God, it's Aaron's mother under the picnic table holding onto the chain. Let go of my purse, you old bat. You already got my fucking house. All right.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
So they're like, we're just one big happy family. All right. You guys just keep talking. All right. You guys just, all we need to do is you keep talking. Jesus Christ. God, do I worry that my parenting is fucked up my kids? Of course I do. You know, but you and your sister are going to get through it. It's like, no, we're not, mother. No, we're not.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
It's like, all right, can we just say fuck it and move on? God.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Now episode two, spelling it all out.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
We open with Lola and Denise being interviewed. Lola, have you seen any of your mom's past work? Well, I mean, I saw one movie. It was called Drop Dead Gorgeous. Wait, that's the only movie you've seen of mine? I mean, come on. Yeah, really? But you never let me watch any of them, Mom.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
So now we go to the studio and she's like, oh, shit balls. God, just working out feels good though.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Like they're having sex, but they're working out, guys.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
She's like, I remember Erica Jane. She touched your lats when we were at a premiere. Do you remember that? And she was like, Aaron, you got really good lats. That was before she accused you of being abusive or whatever. You remember that, honey? He's like, I don't remember. I cut those people out. Fucking chopped them in half. Fuck those people.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
He's like, well, what'd you notice when we started dating? She's like, you're a dick. You're a big dick. You got a huge dick. I saw it through your pants.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Now you got me thinking about your penis. Great. I forgot what I was even talking about. Jeez. So she's like, you know, basically they just work out. So then we are laughing at the noise he made. Denise's voice is so funny to me. So now they're still talking about the daughter's fighting and she's like, I think I made it worse. Like, what do I do now? He's like, what about AI? Oh, sorry.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
What about Al? Well, actually, AI would probably be better. Yeah.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
You know, I really love Al. One time, he stole a bunch of my handbags and he was dumb enough to post it on Instagram and to say I'm the new Louis Vuitton rep. I mean, what a fucking idiot. God, I love that kid.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
family's family and they start laughing so he's like is it hot in here because i'm fucking sweating my balls off she goes babe it's can i see you sweating your balls off and now we see tori spelling at lunch with denise tori spelling so excited to be back on tv you know she is because she comes bounding into this restaurant she's like
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Well, I hope you don't mind, but I have to make this kind of quick. I'm double parked in the van that me and the kids are living in outside. So let's just get some appetizers. Also, can we get some chips to go?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Tori Spelling. I think of that headline, Tori Spelling, falling into the grill at Benihana every time I see Tori Spelling.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Yeah, I believe that back in the TVgasm or Trash Talk TV days, I recapped the original Denise Richards reality show.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
So the waiter's like, okay, so what can I get you? And she goes, do you have bread? Her spelling's like, do you have bread? He goes, would you like garlic bread on it? She goes, no, because I might see a boy in the next year. Just bring bread. Do you have loaves of bread? Put that in there. Also, you see that double parked van out there? Just kind of slip it through the cracked window.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Yeah, so Denise is like, yeah, Aaron's the only person I've ever been with that can screw a fucking light bulb in. Goddamn, you know? And so they're laughing. And Tori's like, yeah, I can't imagine Charlie trying to put in a light bulb. Like, how many hookers does it take to get a light bulb in?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
She's like, I know she heard that, so he's still banned pretty much from the town. So I hope you get to see your dad again soon. He's still on a no-fly list, but he was too intimidated to ask around. She's like, oh my God, that's how I feel, and I'm asking for help with rent. I get it. She's a terrifying woman.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Yeah. And now I don't know if I did the whole thing or if I just did a couple episodes, but I remember getting really into that one because it was kind of boring, you know, and she has this like weird relationship with her dad. There's that was, that was what that one was about. He's like, you're hot, honey, show it off or whatever.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Probably Candy would be like, oh my God, welcome to the family, darling. Here's all of Tori's money.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Yeah, I'm back, girls. I'm back. So it's like, here's your new single life, all right? Meeting someone with a big penis you can have fun with. Oh, and anal sex, too. I want to listen to your podcast. You talked about anal sex.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
She goes, oh God, don't look at the comments. You should know better than that. She goes, I can't help it. They're like, your daughters are going to read this. Oh, come on. Yeah, it's a good thing. That's why I didn't teach my kids to read.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
And, you know, they're getting older and they're like, Mom, why didn't you tell me this? And I say, well, what am I going to say? You girls were young. You know, what am I supposed to tell you the truth? Come on.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
So she's like, I'm jealous of you. And it's true because I was on and off with Pat Muldoon. You know, actually, I call him. And at the same time, she goes, sweet babe. And she goes, yeah, I call him fuck face. You call him fuck face? No, I call him sweet babe. That's hilarious. Let's call him. Let's call him right now.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
I remember that one being a little odd, but it finally got good at the end when she which bitched out a reporter who wasn't doing what she wanted. Like she lost her shit at them and then it got really good and then it was canceled. So I'm interested to see. I'm basically rooting for whatever reporter comes in and pisses her off because that was the best part of the last one.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Yeah, he was so cute. I knew him because I would skip school and go watch days of our lives at my city's house, my grandmother's house. And they would always be watching the NBC soaps, which were days of our lives and another world. And then sometimes sunset beach, you know, when those other ones came on or passions. But those were my main ones, Days of Our Lives in Another World.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
And Lisa Rinna was on there. She came on playing Billy, the role of Billy, and Patrick Muldoon was her brother. And oh my God, he was so fucking hot. They never found another guy as hot as him to play that.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
And she's like, sweet babe, I'm here with Tori. And Tori's like, oh, she doesn't believe the name we call each other. Can you tell her? He's like, fuck face. I told her I was so jealous because you and I were hooking up and whatever the fuck. And, you know, you told me at one point you couldn't do it anymore because you were dating Tori. I mean, what the fuck?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
It's like the only time you're remembered.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
And Tori's like, that was life-changing. Like, a man stopped dating Denise Richards for me? Oh, my God. You're really fucking rich then, Tori. Don't forget. Pre-daddy death.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Yeah. Oh, hey, that bus has left the station. God, Denise! No, there's a bus sitting over there. That's my car! My kids are in there! Oh, shit. Let's go get it.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
So now we get an intercut scene of the kids, what the kids are doing. So over at Sammy's apartment, Sammy's like loose living friend Leah comes and she's in like a glitter bikini. And she's like, oh my God, I feel like we're always late for raves, me and you. She's like, yeah, we could lie. We only have like 20 minutes to get ready. I mean, how long does it take to put on a fucking glitter bikini?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
They're like, sorry, we can't let you in. Okay, you're too late. We demand responsibility. Follow all the rules at a rave. So meanwhile, at Lola's house, she's got her friends Riley and Nick.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
coming over and everybody's very christian and i think very new christian because they all look like they've just been drugged they're like yeah yeah it's like so wonderful to see you man you're like there's like an aura of the lord shining around you right now
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Yeah, okay. I don't need no water, thank you. Back to Sammy, oh fuck, we should've brought Narcan. The fuck, man? And Sammy's like, don't worry, they've got Narcan there.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
yeah and she's like super la born again too because i saw a clip or a news thing the other day when i was looking for crappy hour stories and it was like uh lola denise's daughter has been baptized in a private ceremony i was like oh really if there's a pr if it's a private ceremony why do you guys have pri like professional pictures from 10 different angles and it's like this big clear vat of water it's like it's very hollywood the whole thing i was cracking up
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
I'm a wife. I'm, you know, I do the whole Hollywood thing. So they show all of her stuff. And then we see her hugging Sutton because she's going to have guests. She's going to just, don't worry, it's not just her. It's also housewives and stuff. And then we see her daughters, Sammy and Lola. And Sammy's driving and Lola's like, you don't like bright colors? And she's like, yes, I do.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
I was like, they didn't have to do it how we did it. Or I did it. They just take you out to the fucking Rio Grande, hold you by the ankles and shove you under. Rio Grande. They don't really. I think I was done in a fountain. They had like a little bowl of church.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
You know, my dad, he would help me a lot with Christianity. You know, Jesus had hookers for friends, too.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
She's like, we're just like so different from each other. I mean, like, how cool, how cool is this strainer, you guys? Like, I have a strainer.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
And they're both saying, all we have in common is our parents. It's like, dun, dun, dun. So Nick's like, so what'd you do today, Lola? Well, I woke up. OK, that's a good start. And then I talked to the Lord and all day I woke up and I'm like, I'm going to go to the beach. But it was so gloomy, but I was so upset because I swear God told me to go. So I did.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
And then I saw this couple and they were having the prettiest light up picnic. So I think God was telling me, I'm going to have that someday. That was my sign that I got from Jesus today.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Relationships too.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
She's like, God, what do you want from me? He's like, go to the beach. You know what? Let me tell you what the world is doing right now. Taking care of itself. Not a fucking problem in the world. Just go chill at the beach. You're too gorgeous. Don't do anything for poor people. Go to the beach. Get a strainer. Get a new strainer. Okay? You're drinking too much pulp.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
She is going to be the person that says, oh, sorry I'm late for my shift at the restaurant.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Uh, so Denise is like, Oh Jesus, I was the one who fucking raised you Catholic. Why are you acting like you just found God? I mean, geez, your sister went one way and you went this way, but I took you to the spot. Okay. I took you to the spot.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Look at my nails. And she's like, Yeah, I don't like red colors. Jesus doesn't like red colors. She flips off her sister.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
And her friends are like, yeah, man. That's so great. She's like, yeah. And he has my back. He's, like, my armor. Ow! I just got stung by a mosquito. But I'm not going to be a doubter about it.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Thank you much, Jesus, for my beautiful friends, for being able to come over here and eat tacos on Taco Tuesday. And then they just stand there over the counter awkwardly eating these tacos. Ask God for a table. Go sit down.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Thank you for giving us a day of the week with a hard tea.
Watch What Crappens
#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
I am dead. And then cut back to the other girls taking pictures in their bikinis on the balcony. They're like, yes, yes. Amen. So then we see Sammy going to meet up with Al. Oh no, she's just driving. And Al calls her. He's like, what's up, beautiful? That's also very LA. Everybody that you talk to is like, hey, beautiful. Hey, beautiful. Hey, beautiful. Hey, beautiful.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
That's all Al ever says before he fucking steals your entire closet.
Watch What Crappens
#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
So the girls agree to go. And meanwhile, Denise does a podcast sesh with Tori Spelling, who's doing her podcast from a bed, which is very popular now. A lot of people are doing that bed podcasts.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
No, you know who was a pioneer of the fucking bed podcast? Ronnie Karam. Do you remember when I bought that hospital bed? Well, they're called adjustable beds. But at the time, I called it a hospital bed. And it went up and down. And I bought a mic stand to come over the bed. And it would come into my face in the bed.
Watch What Crappens
#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
And then I had a whole iPad on the hospital table that I could swivel to and from me. I did watch what crappens from bed for a long time.
Watch What Crappens
#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Oh, they wish they even attempted my glamor in my bed. This is a pretty glamorous time for Watch What Crappens, guys. So now Denise is going to do this podcast and they're hugging and stuff. And Tori's like, yeah, it's in bed because like my first episode, I was announcing my divorce and I was just like so nervous. And I sat on the bed and I was like, let's just do it here.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Also, there weren't really any other rooms or chairs because that's how that went.
Watch What Crappens
#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
She's like, well, they have a moratorium on people who have fallen into hibachi grills. I don't know. It's unfair, but it's just something you deal with in the industry. As a hibachi person, you deal with it.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
He's like, well, I don't give a fuck. I don't want to do OnlyFans. You know why? You want to see my tits? They're already out there. Google them. You know what I mean? You're going to pay me money. I mean, I've done Playboy. All right? So my tits are there. Your tits are out there, right, Tori? She's like, no, they're not. Ah, poor thing. Well, you know, someone will ask one day. Don't worry.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Hugh Hefner is still with us. Am I right? No, he's not. Oh, my God. Hugh. Hugh.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
And no matter what the circumstances are, it's not easy going through a divorce. Erin and I went to dinner with you guys, and that wasn't long after. She goes, that was our last date. It was with you and Erin. Erin told Dean about the whole 5G conspiracy. I refused to get rid of my Verizon plan, and Dean left. So, thanks.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
listen if all goes to we know at least one of these girls is going to have the code to denise's house we need to keep on the good sides all right let's make them talk so the girls come and they make small talk and al's like all right let me just break this off you guys you know i love you guys you're both beautiful you know i did say hi beautiful to you both i meant it it's great to have you together who wants fried shrimp and lena's like
Watch What Crappens
#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
This woman has lived some life, and she's had a nice pack of Marlboros through the whole thing, for sure. Yes. She's like, oh, kids, I guess you got a fucked up mom and a fucked up dad. And I got fucked up kids now. So I'm like, mom, mom. So it's wacky. She's like, I'm just trying to keep the family together. And these kids make it so fucking hard. Then we get the theme song.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Yeah. And so they start doing their girl fighting. They're like, oh my God, why are you so mean to me?
Watch What Crappens
#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Why are you mean to me? Why are you mean to me? But why? And so they start fighting about the guy. And she's like, well, look, you came to my friend group and you took my friend and dated him for a year and I wasn't allowed to talk to him. And that affected our relationship because like you got jealous all the time when he would talk to me. And that was my friendship before you even dated.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
She's like, well, I wasn't comfortable with you being touchy with him. She's like, but you guys were flirty. There's a line. She's like, I would never be touchy with anybody. That's just not who I am.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
yeah i would too she's yeah already on record but i think she's full of on this one yeah i agree uh so then al's like okay pause and lena's like in the spirit of like getting past all of this like right i know you guys are both hurt but we need to come to some sort of like conclusion okay okay guys let's do that
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Oh, God. And she's like, okay, well, I appreciate you apologizing. And, like, I'm sorry for saying things that have hurt your feelings. And have you seen my Narcon? Because I need that. Like, I need that. It was in my lipstick. Have you seen it?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
And Lola's like, well, I still hope that we can work it out because she said, I love you. And I don't think she's ever said that before. Like, oh my God, this poor kid has probably been in this completely nuts family and always had to be the one to apologize. And she's probably never done anything wrong. She's like the good kid. And they're just like treat her like a little punching bag.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being with us today. I don't know if we're going to recover, if we're going to cover this on the, on the full or not. Tell us if you want us to. That's what you think. Give us your opinion.
Watch What Crappens
#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
I don't know if we'll keep covering it, but we will definitely keep watching. I will definitely keep watching it. Cause you know, I like, I like the people on it and it is Bravo.
Watch What Crappens
#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
when that commercial came out, it was during sold on SLC. So it made a little more sense because it was a commercial during SLC.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
So then the kids are driving, and Denise is so excited she's going to get to see them. And they go to McMillan Ranch, where they're meeting Aaron and Eloise. And guess why? They're going to get dogs, guys. Lots and lots of dogs.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
And Dorit is like, look at me looking for a house in Salt Lake City. You know, I mean, PK is constantly licking the salt out of everything. So hopefully we can find a house here to live. But I want your car instead.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Hava Nagila Weber.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Alright, why do we have three golden retrievers? Okay, here's what happened. Okay, Sammy got a golden retriever, but then we found out that that golden retriever had a brother, so we wanted to get the brother, but then we got there, and the brother had a sister, and the sister had a brother, and the brother had a cousin, and the cousin had a brother. The math doesn't make sense, does it?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Cause didn't she say the brother had a sister, so we went to get the sister and then the sister had a brother. So that's three, but then she mentioned another one. She's like, but then, then we found out that the brother had a sister. So you're just saving three of them and not the fourth one.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Yeah, I call Casper Van Deen fart face. So, you know, that was good. So he's got that dog. And so they're petting the dogs and the trainer's like, just now the trainer, hot. I mean, God, you gotta love LA because like every menial job is a hot person. He's like, just be careful when you sit down on this grass, right? I can't promise you there's not little landmines there. She's like, I don't care.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Have you been to my house? It's one big dog poop as it is. All right.
Watch What Crappens
#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Yeah, so they're asking who the primary caretaker is. She's like, me, not Lola. Lola's like, me sometimes when I'm not working.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Lola will be showing up like, I have a mom, a famous mom. I know.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
you know i got pregnant with lola when sammy was six months old and i filed divorce from their dad when i was six months pregnant i would say lola's like a fairy you know she's soft she's light she's got charlie face you know and uh she's not your typical 19 year old growing up i mean in l.a i mean she doesn't even have a thong okay what bus did this kid come off of right
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Well, and it's also very Malibu, right? Because Malibu is a different animal. I mean, that's a completely different world living out there. I mean, that is kind of like living in the country in a way. They're so separated from stuff. Like you can tell like how they dress and stuff. They're wearing little, you know, like cotton flower dresses and they're barefoot. It's very, yeah, it's very Malibu.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Because it's like rebellion, you know? Like when you're young, you're more rebellious. And in L.A., which is kind of a godless place, it is being a rebel to be a Christian. Absolutely it is. It's crazy. So it's like punk. You know, it's like punk rock. It's like, fuck yeah, I'm into Jesus now. Yeah. Frick yeah, man.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
So they get the dogs in the car and Denise just keeps going, oh my God, I'm so excited. I'm so excited, girls. I'm so excited. and they keep- I'm so excited. They start an I'm so excited meter for Denise.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
How'd that Dubai chocolate turn out?
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
They actually sell really good macarons at Costco. You can get them anywhere now that are pretty decent.
Watch What Crappens
#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
Yeah, okay. Okay, so then that's interesting, because I'm not a big candy maker, so I wanted to know. So then we go over to talking about how to take the dogs out. They're already fighting about who's going to take the dogs out, and the dogs have already pooped on the floor, so that's where we're at with it. And you know it's going to happen.
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#2752 Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0101-02:Rants and Raves
You know this house is just going to be full of dog poop and pee, and these dogs are not going to get trained. I don't think that anybody in the audience was thinking, wow, there's a responsible family that's going to train dogs. Nope, they're just going to be pooping everywhere.
Watch What Crappens
#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And Andy's like, well, I want to start at the beginning of the trip. Raquel, you seem frustrated at the start. What was that? And she's like, well, watching it over now, I know the room was not, you know, you never would have fit, but you didn't even attempt to find a room. And it was like, oh, as a host, you should not take the master bedroom for yourself. Yes, you should. They all fucking do.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
This is also extremely unfair because when Uba said, you guys, you can't choose when you're you don't you don't get to choose if your mom gets cancer and dies. And Aaron made it about her because her mom is going through that. And I can see how she would be sensitive. But Uba's mom died from cancer.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Uba was talking about herself and the fact that Brynn knows that now and she's still coming on to the reunion being like, remember when Uba was so fucking insensitive and said mom with cancer? She had it going on in her own life. She's completely within her rights to say that. And you know that. So you're still coming on the camera and trying to make it sound like she was being a complete asshole.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
It's so crazy how they have to explain to Brynn exactly what happened because she's completely deluded herself and is telling herself some different story and keeps trying to lie. And they have to explain to her like a baby what she did, what she said, why it was hurtful. And she still just sits there crying like it's everyone's being mean to her. It's time for a commercial.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And when you get to a vacation, you need to make an effort to get your own room. People aren't going to just be like, oh, give Uba the best room because she's hot. Sorry. I'm sorry if your regular life works like that, but that is not how Housewives works, ma'am. If you're going to be on this show, you need to learn how to do it.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So then Jenna is like, oh, my God, I was so devastated. Oh, my God. She goes through her whole thing and how damaging this was to Uma, Uba. And Brynn's like, well, I'm sorry, but if I say something to somebody, I assume that they know it.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And Brynn's like, when did you say remind me though? You never said that. She goes, in the corridor when I came to ask you. And she's like, Uba, you chased me down the hallway and you grabbed at me. She did not chase you down the hallway. You were already in a room with the door closed. So stop this shit. Like Uba's chasing you down. So she's like, I did not. And she goes, yes.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And so I was like, it's on camera. I mean, can they bring that back? And she's like, I walked towards you and I heard what you text her. And then we get a commercial break. And so we come back and she's like, you know, you said that you're worried about Uba. Do you remember when you said Uba is not okay? What did you text her? You said I was violent. And Erin's like, lock the door.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
You said lock the door. And she goes, I was fucking violent towards you. And then we see the clip of that, of Uba losing her shit and coming to the door and saying, you're saying that I knew that you were raped, you fucking liar. I knew, I knew you were raped, you fucking psycho bitch. And slamming on the door. And so Brynn's like, they had to push me and put me in the room.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And she's like, I was violent.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And, um, so she was your first call when you were going through complete trauma and you turned it around and tried to ruin her ass over literally for no reason.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Watch your language. Watch your language. Shut up.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
You did the damage and then you tried to fix it off camera when it didn't count. So doesn't count.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So Uba does this thing where she's like, listen, it was very wrong what you did. But the good thing is, I forgive you. I'm not mad at you because I'm hot. We will never go back to what we were. I want to go back to a time when I didn't fucking know who you were. Like she rips into her in this moment and it's just so clean and so perfect. And I loved it. And she goes, we're not going back.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So then Andy's like, okay, well, what did you say to the other women, Brynn? You and Uba, I feel like are not going to get anywhere. And she's like, well, after all of it, no one called me. Like literally no one comforted me. Did you listen to what everybody just said? Even if you had to have you had to have it explained to you like a fucking two year old and you still don't get it.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
But you also said the water is disgusting. She goes, no, no, that's the thing. No, no, no. And he's like, but you said don't go swimming. The water is disgusting. And she's like, no, this one, this one. I was talking about your cat.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
is going on here but the point is that like Brynn it's just funny what Brynn expects others to understand and to hold space for with her that she doesn't with other people well it's also not even about that because I'm not what you're saying I'm just saying as far as Brynn's saying she's like no one comforted me and she's crying you just said nobody comforted you but then we find out that you blocked Aaron and you wouldn't speak with Jenna and she's like yeah Jenna sometimes people shut down trauma
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Okay, yeah, but you're the one accusing people of not reaching out. And they clearly did. Lying again. There you fucking go again. And she's like, yeah, I mean, I'm just saying we reached out. And Aaron's like, yeah, I wanted to talk to you. I kept saying, are you good? Are you good? Do you know the price of Bitcoin today? And Jenna's like, we were concerned. Yeah, we've just talked about you.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
They're all just so concerned.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Brynn pokes and she pokes and she pokes and she pokes and she pokes and she pokes. And she finally gets a reaction and goes, but I've had trauma and you're being mean to me when I'm that trauma. You did this on purpose. You don't get to like sit here and cry trauma after you purposely got this person pissed off at you. She was one of the most frustrating people.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And this is the segment where everyone's like, no, we're standing strong against Brynn. And I was actually proud of the cast. I was like, wow, they're really standing strong. Now let's watch them all fucking folds.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So Sai tries to stick up for her and she's like, well, she saw a dead bird and there was a little inlay. And she said, don't go put your feet in there. And Raquel's like, but everybody walks through that one inch of water, including Sai. And you decided to jump. I don't know why you couldn't just walk through the water. It's like, well, actually, I thought I was long enough, but I wasn't.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Yeah, just to try and make them lose their temper on TV. So you can call them an angry black woman, which we've seen you do multiple times now. So don't say how much you love this person. Fucking obnoxious. And she's losing it. We love each other. And I know she didn't mean it, but Uba loves me. And Uba would murder a person for me. Like, I would never hurt Uba on purpose.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So then Uba gets up after just telling Brynn. The only time we're going back to is the time before I knew your stupid ass. Now she gets up and she's hugging Brynn and saying, I'm sorry, I can't with this. Uba, listen, I'm on your side, but this is ridiculous. This goes beyond because this is going beyond like I forgive you as like a good Christian or whatever or Muslim or whatever.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Like we're supposed to forgive. So I'm going to forgive and move on with my life because it's better for me. This is a full on. I love you, Brynn. I love you. And I just don't. I can't. I can't be on the team either after this.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
He can't go two minutes without that fucking phone. So this conversation just keeps going on. It's like, what is she doing over there? I mean, that's crazy. I mean, it's just very kind of Uba considering those allegations would have ruined her. And then we go back to Uba and Brynn saying how much they love each other. They're going to work on this.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And then we go to Cy and Jessel and they're, you know, they're just like giving Jenna credit for finally doing something on this show. And then back on the couch, Brennan and Uwe are still going on. I'm just skipping most of this Brennan and Uwe stuff. I can't. It's just repetitive. I love you. I love you. I forgive you. I forgive you. But I love you. But I love you.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And then the girls are just making small talk back in the dressing room. And then they start this in Jenna's dressing room. They start this. I really feel bad for her. I really feel bad for Brynn. And so I was like, yeah, I'm starting to feel bad for her, too. Well, she's just human, guys. She's just yeah, she's broken. You guys, she needs love and attention.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And all she's getting is like hurt people, hurt people. And that's just how it works, guys.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And then Raquel and the producer says it's supposed to be a dry set. Go fuck yourself. Does anybody on this network know what show this is? This is the Real Housewives. What do you mean it's a dry set? No. Boo. Boo to this whole show. Cancel it. You know what? If there was any doubt in my mind, it has been erased after that one fucking line from a producer. That was probably Eric Fuller.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And she's like, okay, but then you told people not to go swimming in the ocean. She goes, no, yeah, but no, not people. I was talking about, you told Brynn. She goes, did I tell you not to go swim? Did I tell you? I love Uwe just flying off the handle over nothing. And Brynn's like, I don't remember. I'm in enough trouble. I'm not going to get in trouble for this too.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
This is a dry set. Probably was. Get the fuck out of here. Do your job.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I don't. I think that it was a moment of Raquel following the leader as she's done this whole time. It's like if everybody's mad at Uba, she's mad at Uba. Then if everybody's mad at Brynn, she's mad at Brynn. Now everybody's going to forgive Brynn. So she's going to go in and apologize to Brynn and say like how sad she is. And they're just all sisters.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I think that she's kind of a follower at this point. And I didn't buy one second of that.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
No, this show sucked. And I'm really glad it's ending and over because it is definitely time. But yeah, I'm not buying any of this. I would have preferred them to just be like they were before when they were very firm but still kind with Brynn. They weren't ripping her a new one or calling her a stupid slut or anything like that. I mean, they were being like...
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
listen this is why what you said was hurtful and they just stuck to their guns but now this whole like oh we love you brian i think it's coming from the whole like this is bravo and you know we've had some rough seasons and so now we are going to insist on everybody making up at the end because that's what they do now you know where it's like we're here to make up with each other and so i think they're like okay let's just all go make up with each other when you know that girl took no responsibility for
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I just can't believe if if she had taken responsibility and said, yes, I was trying to hurt Uba and that was uncool of me, then OK. But the fact that she's still sitting there acting like she's the ultimate victim and everybody else is the abuser because they're they're having the gall to call her out because after she's gone through trauma is horrible.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I think where I'm coming from is I don't see her as broken at all. I see her as a compulsive, lying, evil person. So I think that's being broken. I don't see her crying any real tears. I think she's going to finish this and just perk right back up and come right back to life. And it's going to be like nothing ever happened. She will. It's going to go on, you know, but I think that's what's at all.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Ufa's just inability to take any responsibility or just fucking apologize. It's like, it's both frustrating, but it's also hilarious because she's getting herself so worked up. And she's like, you tell them, Brayden. She's like, no. And she goes, did I tell you to not swim? No, production, it's not true. It's not true. Production, production, tell them it's not true.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I would have. I would know because that's just I'm. I've dealt with too many people like this in the past to where I just look at this as just I don't care. I don't see her as broke. I see her as a breaker, not a broken. You know, there comes a point where it's like you're just hurting everybody else. And I don't fall for this.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Broken people break people. But how many people aren't hurt? How many people haven't gone through trauma? How many people aren't broken in so many ways? I don't like this mentality of, oh, my brokenness is more important than everybody else here. I mean, she's sitting here talking to Uba. God knows from her stories what this woman has gone through. She's not using that against people.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
There's not a free card to use it. And the more that people do shit like that, it fills me with disgust. It really does. I hate it. So Andy's back with his final thoughts. Okay. Jenna, you were serving with glasses. Why'd you take them off? She's like, to quote Aaron, I feel bad. I feel bad. So.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
It's not just any Pavlova. This is Naomi Watts Pavlova.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
What's going on with Naomi Watts? Is she just a Pavlova person now? Like, I don't know. I've got to look it up.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Pavlova. So, you know, now it ends with basically Brynn being a huge victim and everybody apologizing to Brynn somehow. And they eat a Pavlova and that's it. And when this show ended, I literally screamed Pavlova. Fuck off and die, so go fuck yourself. And I don't take it back. But I will say, you know, one of my hobbies is rage.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And I felt it coursing through me during this whole show and during this entire recap. So I get what you're saying, but I had fun.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And then production rolls a clip of her literally going, don't swim. The water is disgusting. Can I tell you? Please.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
No. Well, we'll see. I have a feeling they're bringing back everybody. We heard that Rebecca's gone, but this whole, this, this whole thing was to save Ren at the end and I'll bet they bring them all back. I mean, it ended up getting record ratings for it. For it. I mean, it's still not great ratings, but really. We're all hate watching. SLC, which is their best show of the year in our minds.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So who knows? They follow the ratings. They follow the money. So they will probably bring it back. So Buck's Buttercup.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
my pabloa is cracked i am done and i am over it okay i am done well i can't wait to come back and give you more shit for another entire year bring it on all right everybody thanks so much for being with us you can find videos of all our recaps over at patreon as well as our traders recaps and find tickets for the watch what happens live tour and replays of the golden crappies over at watch what happens.com we'll talk to you next time
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And so I was like, well, okay, look, here's the thing. Puerto Rico's been through a lot and we don't want people to see like Puerto Rico in a bad light. She goes, I didn't think of that. I love Puerto Rico. I go there all the time. So I was like, yeah, but it's a Puerto Rican. That's what we thought about.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Like, I don't want to discourage people from going there just because they think we have dirty beaches and things. And she's like, oh, well, they're going to miss out if they don't go to Puerto Rico. I had the best time there.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
The shock on everybody, because they're just shell shocked, you know, because Uba is just a whirlwind. And so they're like, okay, she's just submit.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I apologize if my authenticity makes you so uncomfortable.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So he's like, but your reaction to the room, for example, the room situation. She goes, you know what? Continue being afraid of Uba. Great. They're afraid of me. Good for me.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
It's really just long. Just, you know, just be angry in the shortest, in the shortest span of time.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Oh, no, I don't like your tone. Is it her tone, Aaron, that you have a problem with me? Go ahead. Tell the truth. We don't have an issue. And she's like, well, it wouldn't be like negative if you just listen. I was just going to say like you assume things and then you get triggered, you know, but like you don't give me the benefit of the doubt. And that frustrates me because you're a fucking liar.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
How many times does she have to tell you right to your face? You're a fucking liar and a shit starter, Aaron. That's why she doesn't trust you. She'd be a fucking moron to trust you. You do nothing but lie and try to stir and twist everything for no good reason. Brent number two. Brent number two.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
She's like, well, I get it. I mean, when I went to speak with you about the beach and she goes, oh, I'm so happy everybody's afraid of me. Go ahead. Go ahead. And she's like, well, I mean, we came in to calm things down. And then you say, are the two Puerto Rican girls coming here to attack me? And she's like, well, I felt that way. I spoke how I felt.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I told you when they come to play, you will see. There was a dead pigeon. The end. Dead pigeon.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
But that's not true, though. And he's like, but they've all expressed it. Okay, fine. I don't believe it. But go ahead. And Jess was like, well, I think it's how we communicate with Uber. You know, if we have an issue, I don't deal with it in a group setting. I call Uber and we talk it out. And Raquel's like, but I mean, if something happens in the moment, you have to have the conversation, right?
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And she goes, you know what, Raquel, I wish I tell you I care. I don't care. I really don't.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
You were 100% shit talking that lady behind her back. And you've been mean to her all fucking seasons. So cut the crap. Two seasons, really. Yeah, it looked like you were a member of the conversation. And she's like, well, I was a member of the conversation, I guess. So I'm sorry. I mean, I felt like it was getting too much. So I said so.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And so I was like, yeah, she did say, you know, come on, guys, I feel bad. Yeah, that's what she says after she shit talk somebody for an entire season. That's what she just did it with Brynn. Oh, my God, you guys like no one is even talking to Brynn. I feel bad.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
aaron's like but do you have a problem because i have a lot of things that i'm not saying oh god that whole thing again oh my goodness scared so uba's like oh yeah well it's really fucking rude oh there's that tone again don't like it so aaron's like yeah so you want to assume and you want to find the worst of me and i don't understand i've been nothing but a good friend to you you
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
oh my god you serve up the worst you're like you're like a tray being passed of the worst and she's like well i've been a good friend to you and she goes nah because like you know if um whatever i'm not even gonna go so andy's like uba you left the dinner on night two and you said i don't know if brin slept with someone to get this job so i guess the question is why go there
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
She's like, because I was mad. He's like, but why go there knowing about the comment that was made on Jeff Lewis's show? She's like, well, I wasn't thinking of Jeff Lewis. I was mad. And it's a stupid thing to say. You know, remember last time last year I said, maybe you don't know how to be love or stand up for yourself. It was like that.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
She's just bringing up the worst evidence against herself from years past.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
You can look at me. You don't have to look confused. Look at me and I can tell you.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So she's like, was it the right thing to say? No. Do I regret it? Sure. You know, I'm sorry. Here, forever, afterlife, I'm very sorry. And never tell me who this person is because I might go to jail. And he goes, so do you accept her apology? And Brynn says, yeah. So he's like, okay, now about this accusation against Uber. Okay. Now, Brynn, before we get into this, we all believe you're assault.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So let's talk about this other lie. And she's like, okay. Well, I did tell her and it was the week before Bravo. She's still sticking to this that she told her. Now, the problem I have with this is we see a flashback to where Brynn is crying to the other ladies and she's saying. And the thing is, Uba saying this stuff to me when she knows that this is something I'm dealing with.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
She knows that I've been raped and she knows that I'm going to group. She said something like I'm going to group meetings and I'm doing all of this stuff trying to deal with it. But that's not what you said. You said that you mentioned it very quickly in a sobbing fit on the phone and that maybe she missed it. When what you really said to the girls was she knows that I'm going to therapy.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
She knows that I'm going to these group things. She fucking knows. So you're still fucking lying. You're coming on here and you're just lying again. And now you're sobbing. And now you're telling the same story you've been telling and you're giving the woe is me thing for the whole thing. You lied. You lied to a point where you could have ruined someone's fucking life.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Well, I think this is torture. You know, let's let's skip this pussy thing. I just don't care about Jenna's vagina hair. OK, I just do not care. We will skip that. So we see some clips. We see some fights between Uba and Brynn. The whole did you say she sucked dick or that she slept with someone for this job? Blah, blah, blah. So we come back.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And you're just going to sit there and continue to lie and cry and make yourself the victim. That's why I cannot with this woman. I can't.
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
and still unable to take any responsibility so she's going on and on and crying her tears and this and that and she's like but maybe she didn't hear me because i was rambling like a lunatic you know but i know i said it and i literally said like after that i was like in her defense you guys because despite what you think i am i'm always defending you uba
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
bullshit you just tried to fucking ruin her on TV and Aaron goes you didn't say that and she goes yeah I said in her defense maybe she didn't hear that because I was fucking incoherent and Aaron goes no I was there and you didn't say that and Cy goes I was there you didn't say it she goes you guys don't I'm like don't do you know what we're talking about right now be careful be careful you be careful you fucking compulsive liar
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Yeah, she's doing the same thing to them that she was doing to Uba, where she's making it like, yeah, I just told these women I was assaulted and all they care about is how much money this guy had and was he hot? What? I mean...
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
the is your problem man and they're like no none of that happened and she goes nobody came and hugged me because we're in you just did what you did on national tv and then of course you waited for the cameras not to be there when you corrected the record and said maybe she didn't hear it of course so they're like no none of this happened so jenna's like i mean you told us that she might not have clocked it and that felt careless because we had just realized at that moment she goes yeah she starts fake crying she goes
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#2720 RHONY S15E017 Part Two: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
uh what state i was in because i don't fall on the ground and scream or run to bathrooms and throw up and cause a scene and say you bitches just because i keep my together how are you keeping your together you weren't keeping your together she's like oh my god you're all holding me to this little accountable for every you're holding me accountable for every single word
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And Brent's like, but I'm biracial. So I get that there's a difference. And Andy's like, wait a minute. Do black people get things for free? Oh my God. Sometimes Andy just listen, you know? She's like, I don't know. I'm so hot. I don't even care. You know, you understand getting upgraded. Guys holding my bag. I don't, you know, I don't even experience hardship.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And he's like, wait, is it because you're black or because you're hot? And she's like, it's because I'm hot and black. But Aaron's like, yeah, she's just so hot. I mean, I guess.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
It is unkind for hot people to not accept apology from less hot people, Andy. So to the lady in the weird negligee, I forgive you. There. It's basically like giving to the Salvation's Army. Right, Andy? So then they cut for break and Bryn walks off alone. And Aaron's like, oh, my God. Is anyone, like, even friends with her? She's alone. I feel so bad. Yeah.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
You can find these great prices in-store and online. Shop Whole Foods Market on Amazon and get free pickup and convenient delivery on all your wellness journey essentials. Terms apply.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I'm going to say the same thing I say when I walk into a Tender Greens. Throw it all away. All of it. Throw it all away. Unsavable. Bring me some French fries.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Well, Uwe had a good segment, but this whole show has distressed me and it needs to go. There, that's where I stand. I'm not changing.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
HERS is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So Jenna's like, I mean, it's just like she just talks in a circle. It's like insane. I have no idea what she's talking about. And so basically they're all talking about how nuts Brynn is. But they're all there were parts in this where I was like, God, this whole cast is really mean. Like, they do really kind of stand together and mean girl. Or like when they were with Minkoff later.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I was like, damn. Like, these girls are harsh. They were so mean. Yeah, they get, like, mean girly. But I don't really feel bad for Brynn. I just mostly feel afraid of the ladies. They're not fun. I just need more fun. Okay, so Rebecca comes, and she is getting out, you know, getting dressed and stuff. And meanwhile...
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
But see, Uba and Aaron are eating lunch and Uba's like, I really like that you are not letting anyone slide. And Aaron's like, but it's just so hard for me. Cause like, I feel bad when she cries. Don't you feel bad? I feel so bad. Let me show you how bad I feel while I sit here and eat salad and don't move to go comfort bread.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So then, well, there's this one part where Uba's like, uh, are you kidding? Like, of course I feel bad. I didn't know that she knows the guy that assaulted her. I mean, God, do you know how that would feel? I don't think I'd be able to live here. And Aaron's just like, well, I would want him to go to jail. which is another like shaming of not calling the police on the guy.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Aaron's just so fucking gross.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
No better way to do that than a nice new piece of beautiful furniture.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Like, why aren't you calling? Why aren't you doing something like that? So then Jenna goes to Brynn's dressing room and tries to talk to her, I guess. And then Aaron's like, yeah, the thing with Brynn is that she believes everything she's saying. So that's what's scary. So now we go to Brynn's dressing room with Brynn and Jenna.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
If you're looking to get away with all the fabulous luxe experience of the Housewives, but none of the drama, check out Virgin Voyages.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Don't be mad at me. Like, I'm scared. It's like, I'm scared of everyone. You're not scared of everyone. You're scared of consequences. Now, go take it.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So Brynn's still doing her like, everybody hates me, and they want to rip my head off, and anything I do is going to be like, she's just trying to manipulate, you know? Like, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Unfortunately, it's not between a rock and a really hot, hard someone else's husband.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
You waited for this entire season to air and you didn't text anybody and be like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. That was harsh. Or listen, you know, can we make up after that trip? Like, can we talk it out? Nothing. You wait for the cameras to be there so you can cry and make it look like everybody's victimizing you and not buying it, madam. No. So I agrees. She's like the water works like clockworks.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So, um, Jenna's just giving advice to Brynn, like, you know, you just have to say sorry, you know, and then that's over. You just, you don't need to dig in. You're making it harder on yourself. Just say sorry. So then, uh, in Aaron's dressing room, she's still talking to Jessel and she's like, yeah. And I mean, all Brynn does is make fun of you. You're supposed to be close. Yeah.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
You know who else does that? You. Yeah. With Brynn, you're constantly degrading Jessel and constantly talking down to her and constantly saying shitty things to her. And Jessel's just letting you slide.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I just did my place all mid-century modern, and I got the most beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
But even if it was intentions, your intentions are terrible. Your intentions are to make it look like Jessa was in love with some other guy other than her husband or like wanted her ex. I mean, your intentions were shitty. So you can't rely on that. So anyway, welcome back to the Real Housewives of New York City reunion. Okay, the city never sleeps. Let's welcome Rebecca Minkoff to the chat.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Rebecca, have you ever dried your hair before? It looks wet on purpose, Andy.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I left my cake out in the rain. Am I right, guys?
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So how are you feeling here being tonight? Would Ron L. Hubbard approve? And she's like, you know, I mean, everyone looks great. Hi, ladies. And everyone hates her. I don't remember everybody hating Rebecca. Yeah. I know that people have problems with the Scientology and this and that. But what the fuck did Rebecca do? You all liked her two seconds ago. How do all of you in unison hate her now?
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I think what it is with her is that they saw the audience reaction not liking her, and now they're just all like, fuck her. Especially Aaron, because I think Aaron is very in tune with that stuff. And I think they're just like, fuck this girl now.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
There's something for every style and home, no matter your space or budget.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Yeah, I mean, you're supposed to drag me back. You're supposed to be like, bitch, you sold sweatshirts at BravoCon. And which is what she told her on camera, which we all heard. Yeah. And she's like, this is what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to fight with me over made up things. And she's like, I don't need to be produced by you. And so I was like, yeah, Brent, that feels like producing.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
She's like, no, it's not producing. I mean, it's conversation in Hamptons. And all you kept saying is like, I don't know how to do this. I'm just here to promote my brand. So... Yeah, but it's better than just showing up and lying and trying to cause fights over nothing. That's not what it is. Yeah.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So I don't know who told you that that's what it was, but that's not what it's supposed to be either.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Well, by an advertisement, don't try and get an apple. Oh, whatever. All you do is promote your fake fucking personality and your fake job and your fake this and your fake that. You're totally making something up to promote on this show. Cy talks about her influencing. Erin talks about her homegirl business and her Bitcoin and all that other shit. Give me a break.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
That's why everybody goes on Housewives.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
talk about a waste of everyone's time geez breen brin wetfield and so then she goes off on everyone shares but you she's a friend of like listen i don't know why i'm sitting here sticking up so much for rebecca minkoff i mean she didn't do a ton of stuff on the show but she wasn't mean to everybody so i don't really understand this whole like let's bully this chick like if you feel like she didn't i know why just be nice and let her go i mean what the hell
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home. Wayfair.com.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
You said, I know where we're standing up for her.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Well, it's not because she came to the crappies because she's been nice to us way before and we've been making fun of her nonstop. So it's not even that. It's just like, I think they're being mean to her for no reason. I just don't really understand it.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Si cut her foot. That's all. We don't know anything more about Psy. She didn't do anything but give like little funny bon mots here and there. But she did share anything about her life this season. Erin shared a lot. Brynn shared a lot.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Yeah, that's a problem. So anyway, now we get back to... But I do think that you're right. It was about that prank. I think they're mad at her. They're just going to blame her for everything. But it was Aaron... Because you know Aaron was like, let's do something funny.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And then Brynn was the one who took it to the level of she's fucking all these random people and doing all this and made it even worse. So, I mean, girl...
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
again again so let's watch her skate i mean get the girls on a tutu because she's skating free so then um we andy asks rebecca what her reaction was when psy called her boring on the jeff lewis show which he just says hot mike he doesn't say jeff lewis but we all know that's who it was So then we see that clip and then Brynn's like, I just saw the podcast thing because it went viral.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Which I love that Brynn is still watching Jeff Lewis clips, even though she's so triggered and hurt and deeply, deeply disturbed that a man would ever, ever say that. So anyway, Rebecca's like, well, I texted Cy after that, and she clarified that she meant that I was nice and the show was boring.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So I believed that until the confessional where she just doubled down on the boring and said, yep, she's boring.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I know. No. So Aaron makes this whole case about what a bitch she is. And then she's like and then she apologized. I'm like, so that's your ending. Like she she was completely nice to you and courteous about it. What the fuck? So then we see the text and Rebecca's like, hey, my call to you was ill-timed. I should have asked how you are doing after that episode. And I rapped.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn't. I'm sorry. I hope you're OK and holding up.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So then Aaron writes back. Thanks for saying that. You notice that Aaron never apologizes back every time. And it's always Aaron's fucking fault, too. And every time she gets an apology, she never says I'm sorry to you. She always goes, well, thank you, because I was a little taken aback, especially when it was approved language. And yesterday was awful for me. So thanks for checking in.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And Andy goes, but wasn't that nice? And she's like, yeah. But then my episode with my dad actually comes on and not once did you check on me. Maybe because you never called her back, Aaron. Maybe she figured you fucking hated her. Now, you just said yourself that you decided you didn't want to speak to her after she you'd been playing phone tag for a couple of days and you just blew her off.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So she probably figured this girl hates me now. What do you want?
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And oh, I'm sorry, she only reached out with a poem. What do people normally do when people die? They send you a card. Is that any better? It's the same thing. And you just wouldn't call her back. I mean, it's, she's just such an asshole, fucking Aaron.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
She keeps moving the flag because she keeps losing. So she keeps getting caught in her fucking lies. And so she keeps moving the goalposts. So Aaron's like, well, all you do is complain to everybody about Scientology. When your bags, when your brand, when, when did she ever do any of that? We didn't see it.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And you never worry about what we're going through except to send me probably 20 texts asking me if I'm okay.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Because you won't call her back. You've already established that. You hate her at this point, Aaron. You fucking liar. She's like, yeah, I don't even know what you're talking about. The prank was your idea. Was it not? That's all I've said about it. You're such a liar, Aaron. You totally made this go. You're the cockroach in the thing. You're the steal the phone from the person.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And Andy's like, well, by the way, you were a part of it. I mean, maybe it was her idea, but you were in it. And she's like, well, I'm not denying that, but she was mad at me. Yeah, she's mad at you because you were throwing her under the bus and pretending you had nothing to do with it, Erin. You talk in circles just like fucking Brent. So Andy's like, okay, I want to follow up.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
What do you mean by approved language? What does that mean? And she's like, well, you know, Scientology is like sensitive, you know? So I said, am I allowed to ask you the question, how are you Jewish and Scientologist? Because like, I don't get it. And she said, yes. But then she got mad about me and she got mad about that. And that's like literally so weird.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And she goes, no, I wasn't mad about that. You said in a confessional, I don't understand how you can be two things that are so opposed to each other. And then we see a flashback to that where she's like, I love Becky and I don't want to judge. But like, how can you have two religions that are so different? And she's like, to see that from you is just disappointing, Aaron.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Okay, now to just go against Rebecca, you can't come on here as a Scientologist, have all of your press being like, oh my God, this fucking Scientologist is coming on and then not have anybody ask you about it. Especially if your only answer is going to be like, oh my God, it just makes me, it helps me with my business. It helps me get my thoughts together. It helps me be a better mother.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I mean, shit, at that point, I wanted to be a Scientologist and I don't even have a business for kids.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I mean, I've seen enough documentaries to be pissed at Scientology. So I don't, you know, I don't have a problem with being pissed at Scientology. And I honestly would rather Rebecca have stuck with her original answer, which is like Judaism is my religion. Scientology is my religion. Applied philosophy. Applied whatever, my applied philosophy. But she didn't.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Instead, I think she got approved language from the church because she came back with a whole different tune this time, and they showed it. They kept cutting away and showing what she had originally said compared to now, where now she's like, well, Scientology is a recognized religion, and this is hate speech. I'm like, girl, please, no. I'm sorry. I'm not— I'm not down with that.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Scientology is some bullshit made up by some fucking crazy author who wanted your money. He even has a quote saying the way to be rich is rich, but to get even richer, you need a religion or something bullshit. Like, please, like, do what you want to do.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
But I'm not going to buy this whole like hate speech crap, especially after the stuff we see the church has done in documentaries and stuff like that. So I'm not really buying that. I wish she had stuck to her original guns. But now, you know, she's doing this whole like it's hate speech, blah, blah, blah.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And then we get to the ladies in their confessionals all being like, I'm not saying shit about Scientology. They'll come for me or no one has a positive thing to say. Right. So he's like, so do you all stand by your comments? And Jessel tells him that she went to dinner with Raquel and with Rebecca, and they asked a lot of Scientology questions.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And he's like, well, why didn't you talk about it on camera? And they're like, well, she was reluctant to talk about it. And she's like, well, I wasn't reluctant to discuss it with my friend Aaron, who's decided she's not my friend anymore. But I mean, whatever.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
But she did say it on camera. She did explain it on camera. So that's what I don't understand about this. She did explain why she's in it and if they had more questions they could have asked. They never asked her and she said, I don't want to talk about this.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Well, and it's like they cast a Scientologist so they could have this big Scientology controversy. And she's like, no. Yeah. Which I kind of like. She's like, it helped me. Because now they're going to bring it. Now they're going to like hold her feet to the fire for this now, which is like, oh, OK.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Now you guys want to hold her feet to the fire because, you know, the audience was pissed off about it. Because remember, this stuff is shown. This stuff is all filmed before we ever before they ever. Obviously, this stuff is filmed and put on TV before they know what the audience reaction is. It's not like it's in live time. So once they were fine with not doing.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
holding her feet to the fire about Scientology until they saw it on the feeds and everybody having a fit about it. And now they're going to act like they're big and tough about Scientology. Like your morals don't matter now just because you're doing them because they're popular.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
You know, you can't just come up with morals because they're the popular thing to do when you didn't have them back then. Like, I don't I can't with these people. You know, you should have been pissed right at the beginning and said something right at the beginning. Not hold it until the reunion to be so morally offended by the whole religion. Give me a fucking break.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
gets off she excuses herself out of everything because of tone yeah yeah and now rebecca says to rebecca says i didn't like the tone of what you said she's like oh tone suddenly tone oh wow so i think what she's trying to say is she came in already being judged and rebecca's like yeah i mean like instead of being like i want to know more you guys are like i'm going to bring it up because it's clickbait you know and you wanted a reaction
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And Raquel's like, but if you allow the opportunity to ask. And Brynn's like, well, on the helicopter, like literally I held her hand and I was like, I'm so sorry about the article that came out about you. Like, how can we help you? What can we do? Can I spread around that you're fucking around on your husband and having orgies?
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
so rebecca's like i'm not saying no comment i'm saying for you to say no comment if you don't know the answer to come to me and raquel's like but you didn't want to discuss it and but she did discuss it so like how much do you need to discuss it like how much what do you like about this religion here's what i like about the religion why aren't you discussing it i just told you what i liked about the religion no but you need to tell me more okay well i like that it it's like a good philosophy but tell me more
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
These are exclusively built kid-free cruises, so no matter what you're looking for, you can get the type of experience you need most, all catered to adult tastes.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
What do you want her to talk about? Kirstie Alley's underwear?
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Why is nobody applying this to, and I'm not going to start making this all religions are equal, but why do we have to know about everybody's religion so deeply? When are we going to ask Erin about Zionism? And when are we going to ask Erin about all her fucking Trump votes and her donations to the fucking Ted Cruz fund and all this other shit? Like, if we're going to go there, do it with everybody.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I don't care about any of your fucking religions, okay? I choose none of them, and I don't want to hear about them from any of you.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So he's like, okay, so why were you attacked? And this is where I'm not on Rebecca's side. I don't think she was attacked. I feel like they were very nice to her. But she says, okay, well, I feel like when someone calls someone a used car salesman selling snake oil, that's offensive. When Brynn never even bothered to get to know me. And she goes, but I literally asked you at the picnic.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Yeah, you asked her and she told you. And then what did you do when she gave you her answer? You called her a used snake salesman. So now you're saying you want her to talk about the religion more, even though you were complaining about her talking about her religion in the first place.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
For me, for me, it's the moral outrage by popular demand that I just can't get behind. I'm like, oh, now you're mad. Now you're suddenly all mad because you know how the audience feels. All you shut up.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
It's like, well, congratulations, but you don't live in New York. Yes, she fucking, what part about two homes did you not just hear five story walk up?
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
If you want me to understand something, please quote a movie.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Yeah, because I'm glad you're talking. I'm glad you're noting my whereabouts.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Because she's still too scared. She starts to. She's about to. Grow some heels, man. Jesus. So Andy's like, whoa, we got a big reaction. Diamond from In Your Butthole says, no, thanks. Stop normalizing cult. What's your reaction to the use of the word cult? And she's like, wow, that is bigoted.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Hello, everybody. Also, we are preparing for our March. We're touring through May. So here's what's coming up in March on the tour. We're going to a lot of cities. So listen up. Cincinnati, Ohio, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Toronto, Charlotte, North Carolina, Atlanta, Washington, D.C., and Philadelphia. Those are all in March. So go get your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Yeah. So then, yeah. And, again, I'm totally fine with questioning Scientology and people being pissed off about it being glorified on TV. I mean, I actually get that. So then he's like, OK, got it. So Roz from 9 to 5 says, did you really expect to come on a reality show as a Scientologist and not talk about it? And she's like, you know what? I can have an honest conversation.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And this is not something you can answer in one hour. You know, we talked about a dinner and we weren't done in an hour. So and Brent's like, this is the exact format. Really? Because she talked about it to you and you complained and called her a snake oil salesman. So shut up. So he's like, well, you had tons of hours.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I mean, you were on a trip to Puerto Rico that was five episodes and nothing happened. So until the end, obviously.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
But what kills me is she did talk about it. Brynn goes, tell us about like what you just said earlier when you sat down, like it helped me be a better mom. It got me out of depression. She literally told you that on the show. Why are you accusing her of not saying it? She said it on the show. Oh my God. I can't with this lady. I just can't.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So Andy goes, so before I let you go, I want to know, is there anything else you want to address? And she's like, okay, I'm sorry, Aaron, that I didn't call to check in on your father earlier. I can understand how incredibly insensitive that seems. And I'm really sorry. I know.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And in parentheses that I only sent you 90 texts and you never called me back any of the 10 times I tried to call you in the first place. So I'm very sorry. And she goes, yeah, well, thank you. Which is typical. No apology back. Just a thank you. Because I was really shocked that we were still talking about my tone and not the real stuff. So I appreciate it.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I think they hated her. And then they kind of came around towards the end when she was being funny in that finale, you know?
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
We're excited to see you guys. All right. Let's get into this Real Housewives of New York reunion part two. Thank Jehoshaphat. It was only two parts because I was almost going to throw something at the TV, but I really love my TV so much I couldn't by the end of this. I cannot believe they all caved. You bunch of fucking cavers. What's wrong with you people?
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Doesn't Psy take a selfie? Like, they all just pull her off and look away from her. They're mean. They're so nasty. This cast isn't fun, and they're mean. Like, I just don't like it. She's like, okay, well, quick and dirty, I guess. So then they just ignore her. And Brynn's like, can I get a Diet Coke?
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Rebecca's like so do I just wait here on the sofa like is anyone gonna come get me even the crew ignores her I mean Jesus Christ so Andy's like Rebecca wants to know if she should exit yes you exit they told me you exit alright bye everyone yikes I was like that was awkward and yeah that was really awkward that was one of the more awkward segments we've had on a reunion and that's saying something yeah that was wild
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Well, it's not that I don't feel bad for Brynn's traumas, but I don't feel bad for Brynn in general. She's a fucking mess of a person. She's a destructive person, period. I try to separate people, like people that can, people that are just too destructive that don't warrant my time. Like you don't get to, you don't get to bluster with your stories anymore at this point.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
You're just harmful and you're mean and you're a liar. You don't tell any fucking truth ever. And all you do is fuck with other people and try and ruin them. So people like that, no, I don't care about it. Like her stories are sad. Yes. But like, I get her away from me. Just go over there. Go over there. Yeah. Horrible. And her bad crying and the Botox is terrible. She can't even move her face.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And then she doesn't even cry. Like there were so many moments today where it's like, and the second no one bought it, she immediately drops it. There's no tears. Her face just goes completely blank. I mean, it's just creepy. Get her out of here. I'm done. I'm officially done.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Humor will get the audience to forgive a lot. Yes. And you have... And not telling jokes.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Brynn's delusion is terrifying. Also, did you read that her line of, I'm like carbon monoxide that was stolen from a movie. You know that, right?
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Oh, I loved her in that one she did with Ashton Kutcher where they're basically standing up for the guy from that 70s show after his rape charges. That was a great film. Okay, so let's go to part two. The Real Housewives of New York City reunion starts now. Jessel, did you get boobs put on your face? I mean, there's just something different about you.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
But I didn't know. I'm sorry. I didn't know any of that. But you did. You did know. And you knew that wasn't her husband. And you actually, you chose to bring it up. And I just, I'm crying right now. I just can't believe you did it.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Absolutely. Yes. Yes. Your whole shtick is fucking with people's marriages. I'm thinking when I do that, I always thought I was making a cute joke. No. And so, you know, still, still just ran deflecting. It was just a joke. So now everyone's talking over each other and she's like, oh my God, didn't anyone chastise me? Did everyone say like, oh my God, this is so horrible.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I mean, it was me that I said it. Now you apology and I'm sorry. Okay.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
It's like, it's not my, it's like, she's saying that nobody made it a big deal then, but now everybody's making it such a big deal. And she's sorry.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
you know but that's you lied no one knew it was a lie no one knew it was real that's exactly right and so and that's how she works she just keeps spouting things that sound like oh well that's true but then they're not true at all they're all fucking she still lies she just adds lies on top of the other lies and sidelines
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Yeah, he like gives me free reign. I can do whatever I want, you know. And now he's questioning me. And the other day was the first time I said, are you eating upon me? And he said, no, I'm eating upon you. It's just, it's over, Brian. You've done this. And she's like, oh, my God. I guess I just should have said nothing, period. Yeah, well, there's that.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
So she says she's sorry again in her fake tears. And then Andy's like, give this tissue to Jessel. And Jenna's like, I did give it to her. Oh, wait, I used it. Sorry. That was a good monologue, though, that I gave, right? Did you believe it? God. I'm so embarrassed that I did that right now.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
No? But I just wanted to protect you, you know? And when you were saying they're going to give you the fair treatment because like Erin did, because she's white. And Erin's like, what? I didn't say that. She goes, you guys, you guys, she didn't say it. Why is everybody making me feel crazy if she said it? She goes, I would never sit here and not tell the truth. Oh, really?
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Aaron is another big fucking liar. And I can't believe Aaron got off this entire reunion scot-free. Even this one. And Aaron's compulsively lying, too, during this one. But no one's furious, so I will be furious for them.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
And she's like, you can't tell me that you think that was my intention, that I'm going to sit there and say that to you. You did sit there and say that to her. You said, don't be like this in front of Oliver or he's going to look at you as an angry black woman and dump you. We just saw the video. And she's like, oh, you're right. The angry black woman. And she's like, well, I tried to defend you.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
I'm just protective of you because you're protective of me. And she goes, I don't care because I'm not. And Andy's like, OK, well, let me ask you this. Why insinuate to Uba that Oliver may not want to be with her if she acts a certain way? She goes, no, I didn't say Oliver wouldn't want to be with you. I said I want everything for you. No, you didn't. They just really never say it, babe.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
this lie doesn't even make sense. Like it's clearly not what she said. And Uba's like, you know, do you know why I'm going to marry Oliver? Besides the fact that he's rich as fuck. He lets me be who I am. I sleep until 11. And they're like, oh my God. He's like, well, the internet didn't like the advice you had for Uba.
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#2719 RHONY S15E017 Part One: It Ain’t Ovah Til It’s Pavlova
Twit from Ter said, Brynn telling Uba to stop being angry if she wants to marry her boyfriend. It's been a while since I heard something so microaggressive. And Sammy Jo says, for Aaron to be the one that's there to correct Brynn is wild. Because Aaron is also full of microaggressions and stupid fucking things to say. And Aaron goes, oh, really? Oh, Aaron, thanks a lot, Jody Lynn Sue.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
All of our mixologists are going to be doing Sudoku as they shake the drinks, so it's pretty good. It won't pour until they complete a Sudoku cover. A Sudoku problem.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
yeah it's a thing of a cool cafe and a bar but like no alcohol okay i'm really excited i'm nervous i put a lot of work into this i put over a hundred thousand dollars of my own money into this okay so i just read this and read it um which was funny for everyone asking oh no this was from our facebook page uh from kelly For everyone asking if Softbar is open, no, it is not.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
However, you can invest in it if you want, Laffy Face. And it's a picture of Softbar, a new kind of space offering superior non-alcoholic functional coffee and cocktails. Our coffee does push-ups. So, plus experiences. Like, you can come here and you can have experiences. It's crazy. It's like a park, but where alcohol should be served, but it's not being served, if that makes any sense.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
I just look at my own coffee and I'm like, you lazy son of a bitch. Can you do anything right? Look, he's just laying there.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Yeah, so Softbar has a video of Carl getting out of a van, as you can see in this screenshot right here. He's getting out of the front seat of the van, and it says, welcome to Softbar, soft. $136,600, that's $136,600 of $1.24 million of our max goal has been raised. And he put 100 of that in himself. So, you know, come on, guys. Donate to Softbar. It's time for a commercial.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
missing in this i think it's it's like like the gravitational pull i just question it and i just look there's a there's a market for this a lot of people are clean and sober and would like a place like this i think there are places like this this is not the first one there are kind you know there are a lot of places that do well So I don't think the idea is necessarily terrible. It's just Carl.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
So I don't really trust much coming out of Carl because we've seen Carl's track record for 10 years or eight years, whatever it's been. So, I mean, we know Carl's track record. So it's just easy to make fun of because it's like, oh, it's about to open when I raise $1.4 million off Facebook. Okay.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
So Sierra's like, oh, so we have a theme of this. He's like, yeah, I have a Hampton Chitney from Seaport to the event in New Jersey. So there's the Chitney.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
I'm telling you that right now. Both of those places. South Street Seaport and New Jersey.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Look, there's no guarantees with this, but I'd rather fall flat on my face going forward in something I truly believe in and passionate about than selling dental equipment. So... That's where I'm at. You know, I just... Part of me, too, and we've kind of hounded on this soft idea a lot, too. I think part of what bugs me is the, like, capitalizing on sobriety so soon. I just feel like...
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
It's hard enough to be sober without making your whole persona that. You know what I mean? I think you kind of need to give yourself a break. I think like if in sobriety, you know, there's certain rules like that you learn in AA. Like if there's a certain amount of time where you have to just be alone, then there's a certain amount of time when you can get a plant.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Listen, I watched a Sandra Bullock movie. So I know. And then after that, you can get like a pet maybe. And then after you keep that alive for a while, then you can date, you know? So I think that there should be like some, some kind of rules with just for yourself and your own sanity before you're investing one, one and a half million dollars into a business.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
And that's what you should be doing. You should be having a party place. It's like a crazy soda shop that you get together. All your friends get together. You have fun. And that's it. So he announces the garden party thing. And he's like, okay, guys. Small talk was great, but it's time to go. So Kyle's in the kitchen now. And he's alone. He's on the important storyline of the day.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that banana bread? What's the dealio?
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Yeah. So everybody packs up to go and Paige is excited that they just get to leave their suitcases at the top of the stairs because men will take them down for them. And then Craig is like, hey, you want to switch hats? Okay, I'm going to switch hats with you, Jesse, okay? And then I'll have Paige bring you this one next weekend.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
And Jesse's like, yeah, Craig's the kind of guy who's going to give you the hat off his goddamn head.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
I even date a joke. It's crazy. So she, like, tries to make light of it. But she goes, by the way, Jesse, is Craig your number one priority? Just want to make sure before we get on the road there. He's like, oh, could be. Could be. So then in the kitchen, Craig is saying bye to Kaimanta. And Kyle's like, dude, I'm just eating your banana bread. Fucking mind-blowing. Just fucking mind-blowing.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Have you considered that maybe we could put this out with Loverboy and you could be a spokesperson for it? He's like, sorry, I'm already talking to a banana bread company, so... Dude, give me a chance.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
I'm listening to a lot of Cole trying to support Amanda.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
And Craig's like, why don't you take the banana bread home? It's a nice loaf. And then he's going to get in the car and be like, I'm hungry. Why'd you give away your banana bread, Craig?
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
It's just a Southern thing to bring. Like, hey guys, I just came from the South. Brought some banana bread.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
I cook like 20 things, okay? I have banana bread. Fresh banana bread straight from the oven. God damn it. So I'll have to make you some for when you come to Texas to visit. Please do. Welcome to the South. Here's some banana breads, okay? I know.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Okay. Okay, so then Sierra and Jesse are hugging by the car, and Jesse's like, I could really get used to hugging you. God, fucking 10. You're fucking 10. She goes, yeah, don't get used to it. He goes, yeah, it was great hugging on you this weekend. God, still loved it. Loved hanging with you, Sierra.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Yeah, enjoy my version of Gwyneth Paltrow's sliding doors where you get the good part of the movie. Okay, I'll be driving home with a loafless Craig.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Yeah, it was a good field trip episode, which I liked. I like a good field trip. And it was multiple field trips, right? Because do we have, is this the one where we had the Carl opening? Yeah.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Yeah, that's not what a bucket list is. The bucket list is like what you do before you die, you know? Right? It's not like, I'm about to die. It's like that Danny Glover movie where he's like, I'm about to die, so I'm going to do the things on my bucket list. I'm going to jump out of a plane. Yeah.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Craig. I'm sorry. I had to break up with you, Craig. It was on my bucket list. Blame Danny Glover. Okay.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
So Jesse comes up, and he's like, hey, Lexi Wood? Is that you? Wow, it's Lexi. It's Lexi Wood.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Well, I got them for your mom, so I had to get them for you, too. Got your dad a cock ring he's been asking for, and your sister a Nice boop.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Yeah, I liked it too. They even got little Bailey in there.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
OK, so we pick up where we left off, which is Emeril, Jesse and Amanda and Gabby by the pool the day after the foursome, the toe sucking foursome. So Jesse's like, you know, I went to there. I went into his room. He's having a threesome. You know, I could have had a foursome. But, you know, Jesse is better. What's her face? Lexi is better than foursomes.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
, , , , , ,, in P P P P P P P P P ac la gr ac ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ac G P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P gener laстhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh , la , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Wow, you should write fucking cards for Valentine's Day. That is so flattering. Could have had a foursome, but I didn't. You're better than a foursome.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
She's like, um, yeah, everyone wants to know that. I'd like to know that too, actually. He goes, well, we're here because it's friends and family day. So please try all the different bevvies. You know, my first would be soft spritz. It's like spritzer, but the bubbles, like it's been sitting out all day unopened. So it's soft.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
We believe in like really soft bubbles here, which means we forget to put lids back on things. Yeah.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Emeril, you're going to have a drink? Be sure to get it with benefits. Okay. Yeah, that's how I get everything, bro.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
La Softs. So, all these beverages come with, like, a mushroom benefit. Like, you know, like, if you want it. If you want it.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
I don't know what the rules are. And some people are just so sober from alcohol. Some people are sober from Coke. You know, there's different kinds of sobriety. But now that's a selling point, though. So if you're going to do magic mushroom infused drinks and cannabis infused drinks, now there's a bar. You know what I mean? Because you can still go get fucked up.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
He's like, y'all, it's super uplifting. So then Carl's mom, Sharon, is here. Fucking enably Sharon is here. And she's like, hey, guys, I want to talk to the boys.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Like, honestly. Yeah. Like, seriously. Not Sharon. Sharon's not cool either. I don't think it's very nice how you conspired with your son on camera to gaslight somebody when he was being an asshole and ready to break up with her for months. And then you tried to make it sound like she's abusive and all this other crap. Sharon.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Of course she has the right, but I have a right to tell her to fuck off, too. Not Sharon. Sharon can fuck off. There it is. We're taking that shit. Get out of here with that. Your son never does anything wrong. Did you see the season, Sharon? Have you seen the past nine seasons, Sharon? Please.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
No, I don't have a little class. You know, you're showing up on your son's show. Just like, why do you why is your first thing to be like, what a bitch Lindsay is? You know, come on, man. Your son's already taken the cross. OK, there's no room on the cross for you, Sharon. OK, you're going to have to wait for a new carpenter to show up.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
I kind of like the new fashion of the guys that they're all kind of in the great Gatsby. It's like the 1920s are back. They're all wearing like really, really like flowy, silky, high-waisted pants like they're in Anything Goes. I kind of like it. It's working for me. So they're like white pants, but they're like high-waisted. So, Carl 10.0, here we go.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
I need it to be a little softer. Please be a little softer. Can we do less flapping and more like petting?
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Well, let's do it. Cool dad. Cool dad. So then Paige, then we find out what this cast really thinks because they're all there to support Carl. But even this cast. So we expect it from Paige, right? But everyone else is like, damn. So Paige is like, I'm so proud of Carl. I'm so happy for him. I mean, it seems like he's just so passionate.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Now, is this an idea that people can say, this is a bad idea, this idea is never going to work? Is this a complete harebrained shit idea that he doesn't have money or skill to finish?
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Especially when your highest margin product is alcohol. And Wes is like, yeah, I don't fully under grasp. I don't really grasp what the long-term goal is, but I'll support Carl no matter what.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
You know, even if this place doesn't make a fucking dollar, that's Carl, right? So I just want Carl to be happy. I mean, if he's sitting on a bus bench, sleeping on a bus bench, pretending he's watching TV from a bus bench, you know, good for him. Good for you, bro.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Listen, we can say what we want about Kyle being a DJ, but Kyle actually has the audience for it, and he's promoting his drinks at the same time. So Kyle's booking DJ gigs, which, of course, people will just go listen to you DJ. You know, why not? They get a picture with you, all that stuff. And then plus they'll buy your lover boy. So his is actually kind of smart, even though it is mockable.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
He's already put his into action. Yeah, it's just mockable.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
And it didn't cost a million dollars, you know?
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Well, for Emeril, it's just like a cheap room to fuck, you know? It's like, I'll just share this house because it's like cheaper than getting a hotel room every night in the Hamptons, you know? So that's kind of his only thing. And he's made his entire personality about fucking randos. So that's it, you know? But it's also weird because that's his entire personality.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Okay, so Sierra and Paige are on the phone with Lindsay, and they're like, oh, my God, did you get invited to this event, old lady? I mean, has the snail mail arrived? I mean, I'm assuming that you still don't have computer. So did the snail mail arrive in time for you to get the invitation?
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Well, I think at this point he's just making a Lindsay dig, right? He's like, well, one day I hope we can get a pregnant lady here. I'll be honest.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Yeah. And guess where pregnant women drink? Home. Okay. I asked my mom. Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchels.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
But then he, like, gets really tight-lipped about it now. And I know that it's because Jesse's involved and he's not outing Jesse. But he also seems kind of annoyed because they're like, so, hey, you want to have a conversation in a row? Like, we're going to have a conversation. Do you want to have a conversation first or should we just start asking you about your dick? Like, what do you want?
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. We're on the floor with Molly Dorsett.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
And he's like, okay. I mean, I guess we could just wait for that a second. He's kind of annoyed. Like, oh, God, all these people do is ask me about fucking because that's all you've got.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Yeah, because someone else gets the credit anyway for leaking it, which I think is like Bailey, right? Or at least in the audience. Bailey did great work. Yeah, Bailey did a good job. I like Bailey. Bailey dissed everybody, called them old, left, and now still gets good drama scenes.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
I know. It's a reaction Danielle has never gotten. And how long has she done this show? But Danielle comes back for a cameo, and we're like, oh, Jesus Christ.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Yeah. Yeah, she would have shown up. Wait, you're going to have balloons there? I'm in. So West is like, so what's your favorite food, Emeril?
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
So Jesse's like, nice, did you smash last night? Come on, tell us how that went. Tell us how that went. And so he's quiet. He's like, I just had sex with the two guys, okay? And Emeril's like, dude, this guy was in the room. Like, why is he acting like he was not in the room? I mean, it seems like to him, like, nothing happened. So were we supposed to all pretend nothing happened?
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Because he was in the room, right? Someone's toe went in someone's mouth. I still believe there was more than a toe suck for 37 minutes. 37 minutes, yeah.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Which is a reference to the Pirate Party. Anybody? Anybody? Carl's back. Carl's back. So then Carl is going running with Guy Liner, which I like. And so they're talking about running and all that stuff. And how Carl had a girl there last night. Live the lemur. The lemur obsessed magician. Magicians are dope. Check. Yeah. From yesterday.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Now Craig and Paige are in their room, and Craig's like, hey, hey, chicken, are you ready to go home and see our daughter, the cat?
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Yeah, they kind of did her dirty with this edit because it makes it look like she's complaining when he's just saying, I want to be a priority. But he also said, like, I mean, come on. Like, you know, it's just not realistic to think that you could keep up this work schedule when we're, like, committed or whatever he said.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Or, like, if we stay together, whatever, which is why she's feeling attacked now. So he's like, hey, should we like stop and eat on the way home? It's like, let's just try to get home, okay? It's hard enough to be in a car with you without watching you eat like a Charleston man.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
No, but like I can eat in the car. Craig, I don't have windshield wipers on the inside of a car.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
So he's like, I can go make eggs. Do you want eggs? Do you have eggs? How many eggs do you have? Do they have follicles? No. Can we put some popsicles in your eggs? No, no, no. He's like, die, die, die. Let's die, die, die. So now we go to the group. They're back to the group at the pool. And Carl's like, oh, hey. So I know, Carl and Matt, you're going to be in Italy for a wedding.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
But I'll have a friends and family event for the soft bar. So we're trying to get a final head count, you know, and if you guys can join, like, let me know.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
Yeah, like, of course Lindsay's invited. I totally want her to eat shit when she sees me serving non-elk out of a van trunk.
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#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch
So he tells us, soft bar is a mindful consumption bar, which I'm sorry, I'm never going to be okay with that. Fuck you with your mindful consumption. All the drinks are going to be served out of reusable bags from Whole Foods.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
So she's trying to do it to him. She's like, you know, I would have fucked you even with your neck, even without your neck up. You know, you look really good, Aaron. You still got it. You know, we could do it on your balls, though. He's like, so you're saying I have big droopy balls, babe? She's like, no, I'm just kidding. You don't, baby.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Yeah, I don't remember him talking like this. He's like, hey.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Hey, guys, how are you? It's been a minute, huh? It's been a minute. Good to see you guys.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
And I'd just like to say here, I'm part of the scene research party. Okay, great. You can see me now. That would be great. Hey, guys. It's a little awkward, right? And she goes, hey, I need to take a look at your neck because I want to get mine done. I'm sick of guys trying to fuck. I got enough subscribers now on my turkey, only turkey necks.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
He's like, all right, what do we got to highlight my neck? What is this? What is this? Is this what they do on reality TV? I've never been on reality TV. I'm doing this for you, Denise. I'm doing this for you. Is this what we're doing? Turkey net content? Great. Yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure is.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
So Lola comes and it's like, oh my God, I'm so embarrassed to be back here. No, I will not get you a glass of water. Oh my God. So she is shown to the table.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
So then we see a shift photo when she was working and Charlie came and they're smiling. And he's like, yeah, you remember that day, kid? Ah, that was a good day. I remember I visited Lola at a couple of hookers at the hostess stand waiting for me. She was so young. She was 17. I said, you're almost young enough to get on the streets.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
And when they posted for a picture, when we posted for a picture, nobody knew I was her dad. I mean, what the hell? What the hell, kid? You know how hard I've worked? Now nobody knows who I am?
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Yeah. Like, he made fun of me a couple of times when I got crucifixes on my two pink toes. And he said, like, where's the third one? Weren't there three on the hill? And I was like, well... You know, I'm the martyr in the middle. You can only have so many toes, Dad. Jeez.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Patrick. Sweet baby.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
He asked me to pray over his taco toes day, and I was like, I don't have a prayer for tacos. I mean, I do have one for, like, lizards now. I came up with that one. Can I use that one?
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Unfortunately, she almost cut off his small toe because she was crying so hard by the end of the Godzilla prayer. So I guess it worked.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
All right, all right, this is cool. Look at this. Here we are, just completely comfortable on camera, huh? You know, I've never done a reality show, Denise. And she goes, ah, yeah, you know, the housewives thing, they wanted you on. He goes, well, I never saw that show until about three days ago. I stumbled onto this fight between you and Lisa Rinna. I mean, wow.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
You're playing dirty. That's what's happening. Oh, I'm playing dirty. Ooh. You're so angry. You're so angry. You're so angry. Well, you know, I didn't have the backstory, so I didn't know whose side to pick. I mean, obviously I picked yours, you know, because you gave me that gift of a high chair back in the day. So that was sweet.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
You're like, all right, well, I can tell you this much. This lunch is not going to look anything like that. It's not going to look anything like that. All right, so I was thinking this morning, you know, the considerations for what you'd order to eat on a date. All right, what would they be, Lola? And she's like, oh, my God, Dad, I've never been on a date, only with the Lord.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Yeah, that makes more sense because who the fuck has pictures of Charlie Sheen up in there? Like what young person is like, you know who I love? Charlie Sheen. Like a 17-year-old who's like super into Charlie Sheen. What?
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Yeah, hey, honey, are you jealous I'm doing a music video with Sweet Babe? And you're like, yeah, babe, I'm super jealous. You're fucking hot. She's like, yeah, don't worry about it. I like your dick better. I've always liked your dick. You've got the most amazing dick, babe. Fucking Denise.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Like when Friends was released on Netflix or whatever?
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
And they probably have 17 year olds, Tim.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Oh, yeah. I don't know. So now they're talking about Charlie and Denise's first date. And he's like, yeah, we're at my condo. We were watching a baseball game. So you did like a little dinner? And he's like, no, no. I stopped at a liquor store. Okay. That's what I did. So. That's so romantic. Jesus liked wine. Wow. By the way, I just want to say. You know, there was a little crack there too.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
I'm not going to lie. I also stopped in the parking lot.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Hmm. So that's just a part of pop culture that I just never let touch me. I was like, I rebuke you. I was like, I rebuke you, show. So then Denise is like, yeah, you stopped at the liquor store and I brought the food and ice cream. You want to know what we had? Oh, yeah, that was the best time ever. That was so, so fun. She goes, yeah, that is true. It was a very fun time.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
I had steamed vegetables. She goes, of course you did, Mom.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
And my sippy cups, am I right? She had my back and my sippy cups. So maybe we shouldn't discuss that right now, right? Yeah. Because if you didn't have my back, we wouldn't be able to have moments like this. Wonderful moments like this.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
You know, it was a big fight. I just packed my belongings, Sammy's belongings. I called her nanny to meet him at the Beverly Hills Hotel. And when the nanny came, I left Sammy with the nanny, filed for divorce on my way to a table read. Not good.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
I took a nice long sip from a sippy cup. It felt good. That was a good day. That was a big day in my life. So she goes, yeah, come on, Charlie. I had your back. I had your back. He's like, well, this soup is really good, huh? You should have ordered the soup.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Oh my God, you just can't eat anything anymore. I remember when I was really young, there was like a spinach warning. I was like 18.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
She's like, oh, look at Charlie, worried about germs, okay? Contaminated vegetable. I mean, listen, look at the history of what's gone into his body and the people he surrounded himself with during his divorce. I mean, Jesus Christ. He was blowing a monkey the first time I let him visit the kids.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
It's the dick stick with Denise Richards. So this one... is my dinner with Charlie episode season. And we opened with one of her monologues, and she's like, you know, for Charlie and I, it was a whirlwind romance. After my first date with Charlie, nine months later, you know, before we got married, so many people wanted to design my wedding dress. Giorgio Armani flew us to Italy.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
I tried to ask her how she was doing, and she tried to charge me a subscription. I said, you better watch your damn mouth, young lady. All right? Lola's like, I don't know.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
She's good. She got a spray tan. It's like, awesome. That's awesome. So, and the confessional, Sammy is sitting with Denise and she's like, yeah, me and my dad haven't spoken in like a few months. It comes in chunks. Like the first 13 years were really bad, but then they were okay. And now it's just like, I mean, is it a sweet potato or a carrot?
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Oh, sorry. Sorry. Me and my dad. Okay. Just pretend I was saying it like that.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Even when he's, like, even when he's right. You know what I mean? Like, no one wants to be like, oh, my God, my teenage daughter is on OnlyFans. But, you know, yeah, you're right. He's free. He doesn't have to write.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
I haven't fucked over my children, so I can say that.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Yeah. Yeah, I was curious to see you since you had your fucking neck done. Would you do your fucking neck again? God damn, Charlie. Jesus Christ. And then it cuts to her and she's like, yeah, I wanted to see how it looked, but I think I'm good on getting my neck done.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
He asked his soup if this is a potato or a carrot, and his neck said, is this a fucking... And the carrot said, is that a fucking neck or a fucking playing card? What the fuck is that thing? A shelf?
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
His order was odd. He ordered lentil soup and calamari, which I thought both things were odd.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
I make it, yeah. I make it every couple weeks. I eat a lot of lentil soup.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
A lot of tiny skins.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Oh, I'm going to like a lot of shit in my soups. So she doesn't like his neck, basically. But to him, she's like, oh, it looks fucking great. It looks real fucking good. And he goes, yeah, you know, I'd let them do it again if they want to, unless I'm playing a character that lived in a turtleneck. I mean, I don't know. I guess I could do that. Am I right? God, this reality TV thing, right?
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
I'm killing it. Am I killing it? God.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
We went to his villa. It was like a fairy tale. You know, it was like that when I met Erica, when I met, what's his face, my current husband. But, you know, at midnight, his dick literally turned into a pumpkin. It was huge. It was huge. I wrote it to Armani's house. I didn't even know him at that time.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
She's like, sure.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
I could never picture you guys being married. What? How can you not picture it? I mean, what mother's not like, hey, I fucking had your back during the crack cocaine and hooker stories. You know what I mean? It's like regular family night over here.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Imagine I'm trying to give you your breakfast out of a wine bottle. It's because you stole my sippy cups. I mean, why are we still bringing that up? Jesus Christ.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
You're a superstar, Charlie Sheen. You're a superstar too, Mom. Jesus, you guys are both superstars. I'm scared of being famous. Like, what would people say about me?
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Yeah, you know, it's funny he's giving her that advice because, God, he would tweet me things that were disgusting. I mean, I became a shell of myself after his tweets. Jesus.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
I mean, when we see one, it's like the worst mother of all time. What a shitty mother. Yeah.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
I find it better to just not remember years. And then we see some stuff on the screen and Denise is talking about like, you know, like he was slamming her. Meanwhile, she was not doing that back to him. He was spiraling and she was raising her own kids and plus took in his sons from Brooke because both parents were unstable. Brooke had to go to substance abuse treatment.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
And so she was raising Brooke's children and her own children at the same time. And he's going off on her on Twitter and stuff, which is so shitty and also still shitty of Brooke. When Brooke just came out this week and had an article like, Denise doesn't pay me shit to do a show. I've never seen a paycheck from that show. And now she won't even call me back.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
I think Denise has done enough for you for you to be able to shut your fucking mouth, Brooke. Okay?
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Thank you for watching. Thank you.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
So then we go to Hollywood, the heart of Hollywood, Vine Street, Hollywood and Vine, and they go into Boulevard Steak. Boulevard Steak.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Six years. And they're getting married. Of course, they left out the part where Denise was, like, five hours late to her own wedding, and everyone was hot. And then there were helicopters from TMZ flying overhead, and Lisa said, Oh, my God. I know all of the paparazzi. Hi. Hi, TMZ. Hi. In the same season that she was like, how would I even sell a story? I don't know anybody.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
They were all shocked that she even showed up to the wedding.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
How dare she come to this wedding? She should be scared. It's like, hello, darling. Can we move this along? Ken might not make it through this. Just please move it along.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
I saw a little clip as well. Which one did you see?
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Yeah, I did like that. You know, Kyle always had something to talk about because of her relationships with her sisters, you know, throwing them under the bus and such. God, those were good times.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
So back to Denise. She's like, hey, honey, do you even remember how we got together? Like, it wasn't even like a first date. He goes, I'm senile right now, babe. Can't remember anything, right? Because we're old.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
You're right. You're right. You know, I was your client, and I'll never forget, I told my sister, I noticed your penis in your pants. And I'll never forget the first thing you noticed, that I had 5G radiation above my left earlobe. Thankfully, you stuck your penis in it, and it fixed it.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
I'll never forget when you told me. I mean, it was so romantic when you said, one day if you ever get cancer... Only eat apples. I thought that was just the most professional advice I ever heard. So I fucked you right there on the table. So she's like, yeah, you know, I'm always attracted to them. But, you know, seeing with my daughters, God, that made them real fucking hot. Let me tell you.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Yeah. Did you see what they ordered? She's like, all right. So I'm going to have, okay, a Wagyu meatball. All right. We'll do mac and cheese, a potato, the pasta, spaghetti, the tomahawk. What else do you want, honey? All right. Hey, is penis on the menu? I'm going to order a big fucking penis right now. It's not there. All right. Just bring us 19 entrees. All right. We'll start with that.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
She goes, yeah, I think Mother Nature does that, right? And he goes, yeah, so you don't have to see me getting old? She goes, yeah. So you're still fucking hot. So that's good. So funny. So then she's telling us, yeah, I think with Aaron, we like each other. And there's respect. And there's friendship. And that makes it different from my past relationship.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Yeah, I ain't telling my daughters about the only pants. Sorry. Go ahead, Denise. Go ahead.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
When I filed for divorce from Charlie, you know, I was moving out of the house. I was six months pregnant with Lola, you know, and then I hear my mom on the phone with him because she's pissed that I took all the sippy, and he was pissed that I took all the sippy cups. I mean, that's where we were at. Can you believe it, honey? Sippy cups. Jesus Christ.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Then somehow snorted it, which is actually crazy. I mean, that man... She said it wasn't called a high chair for nothing. So good for him. So they also got back together. And he's like, that's not unfortunate. Why are you saying unfortunately? That's a good thing, right? And she's like, oh, I mean, well, I always wanted the girls to know I did everything I could to make that work.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Am I right? Yeah, well, life is short, babe. And you don't need tiger blood to do it. Oh, my God. The poor bastard with that thing. Fucking tiger blood. Jesus Christ. Don't even get me started on that.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
So now we go to townhouse number two. And they're in the kitchen. Lola and Denise are standing at the island. Hi, Mom. Can I eat this? And it's just an orange. What? Can you have a little tiny fucking orange? Yeah, Lola. You can eat a tiny fucking orange. Geez. Hey, I'll have one with you. All right?
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
So she's like, you know, the girl has been through a lot with her dad. It's been real up and down. And we cut to Lola and she's like, I'm just like so close with my dad right now. I think that is such a blessing. I thank Jesus every day for that. And she's like, I would. And then we cut to Sam and she's like, I would literally do anything to not go to lunch with my dad.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
He doesn't deserve this nose.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
So she's like, mm-hmm, yeah, Mom. So then she is like, you know, Charlie should get together with the girls more. It's important to see your kids. And they should see us get together more because it's important for your kids to see that you can get along with their exes. And it's why I slept with that lizard for so long. I said, listen, I'm willing to do a lot.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
for this family I'll do anything for it you know she's like okay we're gonna go to Toscanoba and she's like oh no mom like I know everyone there since I used to work there mom yeah well I know but you know they're giving it to us free cause I called and I said I'm Lola's mom you know so congratulations you feel like a fucking movie star for once oh I'm gonna need therapy after oh honey you've needed therapy for a long time there's a lot to unpack there as Andy Cohen would say
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
Yeah, she has like a strappy thing that she's putting on, and it freezes her neck. And we see a close-up of it, and it does do it. Whatever it did worked. What is it? I want that. And they didn't say what it was. I thought it was going to be some product that she was going to be like, yeah, and that's why I've got my only turkey necks videos coming out.
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#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage
You know, it's basically guys come on, they fuck my turkey neck. And, you know, once I get enough subscribers, I reveal how I get it up so they can't stick their penis in there anymore. Huge deal. Great product.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
It's a little personal there, buddy, all right? So last I heard, JT, you quit the show. He's like, Andy, you know, I had a little bitch moment. And then I got over it when I realized I'm still unemployed and Bunny kicked me out of the house, so I'm back.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And Sally's like, your inner bitch comes out a lot. Well, take note, Sally. We need more from you. Give me more. I love the blowjob in the parking lot. I need more. That sounded wrong.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Talk about cherry blossoms. The first time I've ever said that, my usual line is, stop, I'm exhausted.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I don't really remember.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Uh, can you be more specific? Like, 7.58 p.m. ? And ever since then, there have been three dots blinking at me while he tries to think of a response.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And then what the weirdest thing started happening, my TV just started moving really fast like it was being fast-forwarded. LAUGHTER
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
They say that syphilis doesn't storm, Andy, but let me tell you. So, Molly, welcome to your first reunion. She's like, How are you doing tonight? Feeling incredibly fat, Andy. I'm wearing a size zero, but inside, I'm just busting out all over it, Andy.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Okay. Sally, please reenact your best scene of the year.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Got a girlfriend. Madison might be pregnant, but I'm with child as well. I'm just dating her. So...
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Yeah, you know, Andy, it's just anything, any kind of name that can infantilize a woman immediately.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Yeah, she was like in the middle of a costume change, you know, in a Broadway show.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I thought, wow, what a monster, but at least she's got a personality this season, am I right?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
It's Gaston. Just like Beauty and the Beast, Andy. Did you watch Beauty and the Beast? What the fuck are you bragging about, girl?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
It's like, Paige really did a number on this country.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
If one man on this show would apologize as much as a current Tesla owner is apologizing to everybody around them, we'd have no problems. There are stickers. These poor Tesla drivers are driving around like, sorry, I bought this before all this shit happened. I'm sorry, please don't key my car.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
All right, let's please roll a montage of red flags.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Hey, Paige, you want to come to the Bahamas? Do I get to drown you there?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And while he's trying to, you know, woe is me, a vase falls off of a table. And they're like, oh my God. He's like, that was the first red flag I saw. No, that was just me. I'm sorry, but I'm sitting backstage. I was aiming at Randy.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And Shep and Austin are just looking at each other like, what the fuck? So he's like, Shep, did you see any signs? When did you hear about this?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
The grenadines, sorry. The Geraldines. The Geraldine grenadines.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And I love that Craig victimizes himself even in this because he's like, after Thanksgiving, before a live show. Now Paige is coming for the theater. The arts.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Dear God, I would just like to give thanks for this being the last fucking day I have to stare at this turkey. Thank you. That is so cold, though. Well, she could have done it before Thanksgiving. At least she fed him first.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So Andy's like, okay, well, there's two things that stick out to me. Sally, please put your boobs away now. We're done with that segment. Now, you said that she broke up with you the night that you were doing a live show, and Austin was like, yeah, it was like two days after Thanksgiving.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Well, yeah, because Craig's not only lying, but he doesn't. He's like, oh, we just had a great Thanksgiving together. She's basically asked for my popsicle sperms. Yeah. An easy bake oven to get them warmed up. We're about to stick them in there. It's going to be great, Andy. She wants a ton. She asked me for a minivan, Andy. She asked me for a minivan. I was like, wait a minute.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And Andy was like, do you feel like that was telling the truth?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Yeah, lady's like, hello, pillow man. Hello, lawyer, pillow man, extraordinaire, leader of industry, captain of crowds. Everybody loves him. It's Craig Carnival for Sensodyne. He's like, yeah, you brush your teeth with it.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So he goes through this whole thing of lies where he's like, well, you know, after a three-year relationship where she asked me to buy her a ring. She did not. I do not believe it. I want video. Do you think? You guys think that she did? No. Okay. I thought they were like, yeah, she did.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I don't think she would ask Craig to buy her a ring. I think she would say, my mother's going to buy a ring. How much are you willing to spend? She'll reimburse you. You fucking loser. Thank you for asking him to go to a store.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And you have to ask Kristin Cavallari to stop doing TikToks in my living room, please, when I'm not home. Did you see that? I saw that on Reddit today. They're like, is this Paige's studio apartment?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And Molly's like, yeah, that seems like a lot of mixed signals. It seems like a lot of fucking lies. You think Paige for one second was like, oh my God, let's get married at BravoCon. No, stupid. She clearly, if you did say it, it was clearly a joke. She was saying, you bought a ring the same as we would ever get married at BravoCon. None of this is happening, okay? Crazy person.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So Craig is doing this whole like, Thanksgiving, BravoCon, brought a ring. And Andy's like, This is a great idea. And he's like counting money in his head.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Well, he showed me pictures from that board game convention. Good Lord. It was the best. There are men in tights standing over, like with elf hats, standing over life-size game boards about trains.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
This is so funny. And they're at the little goat farm and Craig's petting a goat.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
He's like, yeah, Paige. Yeah, Greg. Well, guess what? I fantasize like an idiot, too. So...
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Yeah. But then, like, I was just in a weird place in December, you know, and we talked throughout December.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And she'd say, like, no. And I'd be like, so yes. And then, you know, two days before the New Year, she texted me and said, I just want you to know I'm talking about all my podcasts so that we're no longer together. Man, Paige is going for every fucking holiday.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
It's like Thanksgiving dumping, and right before New Year, the most romantic holiday of the year, she's like, by the way, I just outed our fucking breakup, you loser. You were too weak to talk about it or watch what happens live, so I just did it for us.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Yeah. came with a card that said, Dear Die Alone. What'd she send you, a pair of flip-flops? You know Paige didn't allow his shit in that house. That was flip-flops and a toothpaste. Cry me a river.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Okay, well, why would you choose not to share with Austin when you're in the city of nice people who share a lot, Toronto? And he's like, oh, this is going to be harsh, but I don't trust Austin yet.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
All right, Seth, back down. Back down, Seth. And Craig's like, yeah, I mean, I never, like, felt so supported in my life. Like, Andy sent me, like, a Grindr notification that you... He was 10 feet away from me. That really meant a lot, Andy. Thank you.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
My cherry blossom came back today and I'm not going to have a chance to use it around those guys. I'll tell you that much. One thing that's made me sad about DC is the statues are so sad. I mean, that was back in the time. Like, they didn't have pictures back then. I mean, I would guess, you know?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And I texted Paige and I said, listen, I know you won't talk to me right now because I'm kind of fat. But please let's be friends after this. Please don't make me stay alone with these men. So she's like, yeah, I reached out to Craig immediately online. And he handled it very well.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I mean, considering, you know, he's lied for months about it, made up stories, and then tried to villainize and victimize Paige. But, you know, beyond that, I mean, for this guy, it's pretty good. Yeah. He didn't attempt to assault nobody, so it's a win. It's a win for this show.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I was like, I know this was really, really hard on you, but at least you haven't had to fuck both Whitney and Shep, so.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Well, it was a little weird because at the same time he was saying that you were trying to get a zipper down. That was kind of odd. Sorry, big Mad Men fan.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And Craig's like, yeah, she commented on it. And she was like, I've watched this a million times. It's amazing. I mean, like, we're just so different. Like, how are you finding fun in this, you know? Like, who is she since this breakup? Like, she's fighting with people in comments. She's starting to say mean stuff about me based on what the internet is saying.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And I'm like, I didn't do anything to you. Sir. You made up a whole bullshit story for a month and made her sit on it. And then when she finally admitted it, you said you were just blindsided and came on doing one of your sweater talks on the Instagram, smiling and winking at the camera like you were the biggest victim in the country, okay? And even worse.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Paige can be an asshole, but she wasn't an asshole then. And do you know how hard that was for her? That was a whole month of being nice to someone that she probably wanted to die.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
and so you couldn't just be like smile and then look at it again and like fix your face or whatever and then like take it again you just like had to stand there in misery and maybe that's why everybody looks so miserable but there's this statue where the guy's like on a horse right and he's got his sword up and he's like I'm going to war and I don't think the other guys knew they were going to be in the statue because the one sitting behind that guy was like
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Enough. You're done. So, yeah, he's really mad at how Paige is acting on social media. I'm personally loving it. Are you guys following how Paige is acting? So the boys, all three of the boys, went on Watch What Happens the other day, and Craig was doing this whole, like, oh, I was blindsided or hurt, she's being so mean to me, this and that.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So Paige started doing that passive-aggressive like thing that you do. Oh, the best. Because she's got so many followers that she's always the top like on all of the posts. So if she comments on a New York Post thing, and it's about, I don't know, like, Pakistan got into grape jelly suddenly, and Paige DeSorbo likes it, it'll be like Paige DeSorbo likes it.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
He was like, double tunes were out, his hat was down. The other one's playing a horn off key. They didn't know they were in the shot. They're like, why didn't you tell me I was in this shot? How did you pick this to be our fucking statue?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Thank you. Thank you.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Come get them.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Sting on brand. So Craig has returned to belligerent Craig already. He's red-facing.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Kristen the Piston.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So then Andy's like, well, Madison, you commented on Instagram that you planned on apologizing to JT at the reunion. That should be funny. Do it. She's like, Well, I know how difficult it is to be short when you're a man. Because I'm at the same eye level and I can see the disappointment in your eyes every time you can't get on a roller coaster. And I'm sorry for that.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
We've also got Artie and Lori here who gave us these beautiful shark tooth necklaces for the occasion.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
But you need to understand that my family, I'll go to the ends of the earth for my family. I will go to the ends of the earth for my family. I will go from the top of the corn all the way to the bottom of that stock for my family.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I never should have aired laundry that was dirty when you didn't have the dirty laundry to air, did you? Your dirty laundry that I put up for the whole city to see. Your husband thinking you were...
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Well, she's like, Delulu, you know, you are Delulu. It's fine, whatever. So now we move on to Madison's relationship wasn't the only one under a microscope. Even the eternal bachelor, Sheppy, found himself wading in unfamiliar waters with a new love interest, the former Miss Bahamas 21, who had a look on her face like she smelled a fart for 365 days straight.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I've been working on my dad bod to prove that I can, what do you call it when people agree to be with each other?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I'm coming to the age where even making a simple sentence is like a fucking game show. I mean, my God. What do you call it? What do you call it? It's a thing. We're two people. They say they'll be together. They'll stick together. They'll commit. Thank you. Yes.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Absolutely amazing. You got so wasted, you got kicked out of BravoCon, and this year, you only got kicked out of a casino in the Bahamas and slept on a bench.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Well, I'm graceful as ever, tripping all over the fucking place the second I walk by.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
All right, this thing never recognizes my face. It's me. God bless it. All right, everybody. Welcome to What's What's Crappin's, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about and yada yada.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And Austin's like, yeah, Chef's been more fun lately than he's been in so long. He's been drunk the whole time, Austin. We know that Austin only cares if you're drunk and doing coke within the whole fucking time. And he's got it. He's like, leave Chef alone. I've already lost Craig.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Every man on this show is like, look how much I've changed. None of you have changed. What are you talking about? Craig's handing out sobriety chips. You never got sober, sir. We have not seen one day of it. What are you acting like? You just went a year. I can't.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
All right, well, one of the biggest changes had to do with Sienna. You know, people were surprised that you fell hard for her. They said, what would be attractive about a man who can't commit about finding a beautiful beauty queen who's untouchable and very far away and will never be able to know what he's doing in his hometown. Crazy!
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Taylor's best move this whole reunion is just her, like, be Arthur in the Golden Girls look.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So Austin's like, he's just Miss Taylor. That was the whole thing with Sienna. I mean, look at Taylor. She's exactly like Sienna. A beautiful black beauty queen from the Bahamas with jobs and multiple offers.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Today is Southern Charm Reunion Part 1. Gosh. Previously on Southern Charm.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So Andy wants Shep to apologize because on the show he said, you know, Sienna's different than Taylor. She's smart. She's driven. She's independent, you know? A lot of things Taylor wasn't.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So, and, well, I mean, look at what Shep's doing, you know?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So Andy's like, well, Shep, you said this in season two. And we see the clip of Shep when Thomas Ravenel is dating Catherine. He's like, wow.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Neither did any of the guys here.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So Sally loves an older man. And everyone's like, okay. So like, how old are you going? Craig's like, 80. And they start laughing. And she's like, oh, fuck y'all. What's his name? Facebook, right? Facebook, right?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I know we don't like to be reminded of things, but you guys live in a historical town. Every time you pass the statue, you have to be reminded of shit. It's like watching Southern Charm. All the statues that need to be torn down.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Andy's like, wow, that was swingers level bad. And then they cut to all the younger women on this cast who are like, what?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
What the fuck is that?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
It's a plot line on all these shows that someone wants to do like foot porn, you know? Like on Vanderpump Rules when the girl's like, let's raise money by doing foot porn. Shep could do it.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So, yeah, well, you know, Shep knew prior to going that he was probably going to get dumped. You know, and he said, I'm going to look like the biggest tool. America's going to love me. And I was like, good luck, bro. Good luck. And Rodrigo goes, yeah, it was a weird day for freckled lips.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And it's like when I went to that gelato shop and I got a latte and a gelato.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So he's like, yeah, you know, I was in the Bahamas on a boat with her family and friends. Well, that doesn't sound like she has any money at all, which makes this interesting.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And boom, she wanted to marry him. I was like, you are such a fucking asshole. Sorry.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
that is so low and he's been doing it for weeks but now he came with like a longer story of like she doesn't like me cause she's just a gold digging whore and you know what gold digging whores want to do with the money they get they want to open women's health consulting online businesses it's like you should have left that part out Shep she just wants to help poor people get health insurance what a bitch
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
All right, can you just get to the point?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Oh, damn. You have a black Amex? He's like, yeah, and I only have a platinum Amex.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So Molly's like, yeah, you see? So like, that was her deal, you know? It's not your deal. So like, your deal is your deal, and her deal is her deal. Molly... Girl, I like you, but I just want to fast forward two seasons when you're on the other side of the couch, crying, sobbing, probably holding a baby at this point, wondering why this man cheated on you 20 times with 20-year-olds. Just stop.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And she said, I didn't sign up for this. And he's like, and I was like... His guilt ankle is still shaking. What? And Molly goes, yeah, girl, yes, you did. You were searching for this on Raya. No, that girl stayed off of TV. Like, give the girl a break. She wasn't coming here begging to be on TV. Every time he was trying to get her to break up with him on TV, she refused.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Leave the girl alone, Molly.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
She's the person on Bravo who's wanted to be on that channel the least out of any show that we've ever seen.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And Molly's like, oh my God, I just got like excited slash anxious.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Chris from Co. even said, Molly has the face of a teenager watching their parents unable to talk in a carpool line because they're stuck on a game called Wordle.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So he's like, so you guys made out at the finale. Did you bone? And Molly's like, yeah. Yeah, we did. We did. It was like the greatest four minutes of my life. It was really, really good.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Well, this version of Shep that's pretending to be a decent person, sure. But the old washed-up, pay-less leather version with wooden teeth and a daddy who's racist, probably, and sits on Phoenician shutters in every goddamn house and throws cans at homeless people's heads, probably not.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Vanita, you have not stopped staring at JT this entire. She's like, no, I'm not. I can't even see him. The lights are so bright.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Now let me assure you, this relationship was very, very real. I mean, she's lovely in every single way. She's got a dog, a dog with sweaters, Andy.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I'm not paid to be on this goddamn show. If you want me in another scene, you'll get me a goddamn contract.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So she's a lovely, lovely girl. I cannot speak highly of Vanita. She is one of the most highly reputable ladies that I've ever dumped and ghosted.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So when we open this reunion, you know, everybody's arriving in their cars and stuff. We get all that good stuff. And then Madison is pregnant and ready to beat the shit out of JT, which I love. Yeah. We've been waiting for Madison to beat the shit out of somebody ever since she got with Brett because, you know, Brett's classy. You don't want to mess with a fireman from Los Angeles, all right?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I like saw him sweating and I was like, why is that guy always sweating? And then I saw Vanita looking at him sweating and I was like, that's the only person who can stand to look at that fucking douchebag sweating. And I was like, oh my God, Vanita needs a storyline.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So they're saying, did that happen? And they're basically asking him if they boned, you know? And Chef's like, did it? Did it happen? Did you? She's like, you tell him, JT. JT, why don't you tell him?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And so she's like, OK, classy.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I'll let the lady speak on behalf of that lady. Hold on. Let me put my jacket over this ottoman in case you'd like to walk over it to come to my side.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And she's like, we weren't sure. We were just trying to take it one day at a time. Oh, I've tried. That is bullshit. Don't do it.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So talk about why you're keeping her a secret. And JT goes, yeah, well, we are there. That was the corner of first and main and story.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
JT, you didn't come better prepared than this? We're all confused over this. I mean, no one more than me. This keeps me up at night. When I saw this preview and Vanita's like, I'm getting my phone. I have receipts. I was like, do you? Because what the fuck is going on? What Marvel Universe is this? Okay, here's their timeline. Let's just simplify it.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Supposedly, they went to dinner with his girlfriend and Bunny, the mom, which I still can't get over.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So they went to dinner with them and she met the girlfriend, right? So then they started filming the show and they were pretending to flirt while she supposedly knew he had a girlfriend. But then they went to the Bahamas and then she tried to bang him. And he's like, but wait, I have a girlfriend. And then she was like, but I still, I don't care. That girl's getting crumbs or whatever.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And then they, he keeps flirting with her, by the way, I need to add in there. He keeps looking into her eyes and going, well, we've just got such chemistry. So then she makes him a Branzino and he's like, By the way, I have a girlfriend. She's like, what? So then after the season finishes, then she started dating him again. He broke up with that girlfriend.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And then she says he ghosted him, but he says she ghosted, wait. He says she ghosted her. What am I saying? They're saying they ghosted each other. And then he went Instagram famous with his girlfriend, right?
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
You got to keep it classy. So she's been behaving herself for the most part, but now she's like, I'm going to rip that little T-Pain right the hell off of his head. I love a mean, mad, pregnant lady. Reminds me of home. It's the land from which I came.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Oh yeah, she wrote her the nasty message on the thing.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Yeah, that's a lot of shit I don't understand, okay? Here's what I can understand. He's leading her on, even though he's dating this other girl, and then he starts kind of having it both ways, where he gets a good storyline with the cute girl, and then still banging this girl on the side, but then this girl probably breaks up with him when she starts seeing footage.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And then, so he's like, well, fuck it. I'm broken up with, I'll start dating Vanita. But then she sees a super teaser and she's like, oh hell no, I'm not losing this one. Get your ass back over here and put it on Instagram. And he's like, okay. And Vanita's like, well, but I used all my fish. Either way. Sure. Vanita, get more self-respect. And JT, stop leading people on.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
You're so fucking lucky you can even get a half of a person to lead on to.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Well, I didn't fuck her, so I guess it doesn't go to me. I was like, oh.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Jesus. So then they start arguing over these DMs that the girlfriend sent him. And Vanita's like, I told you to do something about it. And you said, I can't do anything about it. And then I said, shit, I got to pump the brakes. And I was like, girl, you would have been in a wreck so long ago if you were driving. Your instincts are late, but at least they're there.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So she says, remember when I texted you? I was like, I need a second. And then you ghosted me for a week, he says. You ghosted me, and it hurt my feelings. But then in all the interviews, she's saying that he ghosted her. This whole thing is too confusing, and it's too non-interesting to be this confusing.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
You want to see receipts? He goes, I do. And she's like, fine. I'm going to get my phone. He goes, you go get it then. And she's like.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And Andy tells her, what are you doing? You're going out a set door. This door doesn't open. She's like, I'm going out looking cute.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itch.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns. She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Well, he didn't forget his bug eyes. The whole time he's like this.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Yes, we canna, it's Sedana.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I don't think she's ever been on one before, so maybe Ryan will just carry her out.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Listen, we paid for that shit. We can call it whatever we want, chief.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Yeah, and it's a set of Patricia's House, which is funny.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
God, I hate wearing underwear.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
He's clapping.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And then JT finally comes out and everyone's like.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
My favorite is Leva though, because God bless Leva, man. I mean, first of all, she's still here for now. Leva quit. No, she didn't quit. She got fired, right? She did? Yeah, you didn't know? Wait, I did not know this. Ben, you need to get the actual news.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Ben's over here paying to read the New York Times. Reddit is free, bitch. Get on it.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I'm surprised you didn't hear, that's right, from all the way at my house when I read Reddit. Yeah, Leva quit, and she did this whole thing like, guys, what a fun season, but, you know, my other show is so successful now, I'm just going to concentrate on that. I'm going to really start rallying the troops to not let people wear Nikes after 8 p.m. It's a huge issue where I'm from. So she's out.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
But for now, she comes on, and she's in this dress that only comes to, like, just right here, like on her nipple. Yeah. And she's got a lot going on. She's like, hi.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
She looks like me after one week of Ozempic where I thought I would lose like 50 pounds and I lost nothing. I was like, look at me.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Ha, ha, ha. Unfortunately, you lost Sandy Duncan, 80 years old, still coming out as Peter Pan. At some point, somebody just has to say, it's not working.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Holding onto a walker as she flies around. She's gonna hold on forever. So Madison comes out and she's pregnant. She's like, hi everybody, I'm pregnant.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
It really is gorgeous. Really gorgeous out there. We're usually here when it's freezing and everywhere has stairs. We haven't even seen that many stairs today. Yeah. There were elevators today. Love that. I did a little tour because I couldn't check into my goddamn hotel room. So I got one of those little scooter things and went around and toured. Really pretty stuff.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Isn't that funny? That was so fucking funny. And people say God doesn't watch Bravo. Come on.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
And she's like, you know, I'm not like everybody else. I don't want to hold the important news in until it's going to be a girl. And the best news is she ain't going to look nothing like Austin. She's gonna chew when she chews and talk when she talks. That's just how it goes. Not gonna be a combo, y'all.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Oh, yeah, you know, my little son, he's just so cute. He's just very protective of her. And he came up to me and he said, Mama, I've never seen you fat before. You told me I'm not supposed to talk to fat people. Am I still allowed to talk to you? I said, it's a temporary thing. In nine months, you can go back to the rules.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
But he still walks around, around the house, doing what I taught him to, poking me with a stick, saying, walk faster, fatty. So it's...
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
Wait, you thought I was supporting your sobriety? You barely even support that. Get the fuck out of here. I'm pregnant.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
So then Vanita. Vanita's like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. And Andy's like, Vanita, that made you cry? She goes, yeah, I'm just trying to keep my eyes from running. Hold on, let me look at my mirror. Her whole dress is mirrors. I was like, that thing is terrifying.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
My mother loves that place. So Andy's like, so are you surprised that JT's here? And she's like, no. Can you make that a complete sentence? No, I'm not surprised. You're trying. You're trying.
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#2780 Southern Charm Reunion S10E16: Tears on My Pillow - Live in DC
I didn't really understand any of it because I didn't pay attention to that part. But it was nice. The ducks are bold here. You've got very, very bold. A duck just came up to me and quacked and stared at me. I was like, get the fuck out of here. I'm the hungry one. People feed you all day. I'm on shit to not let me eat, okay? Get away from me.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Welcome. Well, they know they're a watch what crap is. We've been out here 15 minutes. Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crap Is, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on your brahms. All right. So here we go. It's a big one, you guys. Also, husbands, shut up. I don't care, okay? Thank you for coming. Thank you for coming. Stop your bitching, okay? Your wife owes you nothing for this.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I'm kidding. There are actually some hot husbands. I'm sorry. That's how I'm abusive to hot people. so this gets dark as many episodes do you'll survive it okay it'll be okay we're just kidding we're gonna try not to make fun of terrible things but we did do the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills episode when they went to the Holocaust Museum and a comedy club and it worked out great
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So just come along for the ride. Yeah, have fun. You're not saying it, so you can laugh.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You're not going to hell. We're going to hell. All right, so previously on the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Reunion Part 1A.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Stop accusing me of being a horrible person. My son is in Bogota. Do you know how hard it is to get a haircut in Bogota? He has to go to Supercuts in Spanish.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Friendship is like receipts.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You were a backup dancer. You were a backup dancer for Jen Shah's WAP video.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
It stands for Waseets. A-off. Timeline.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
HERS is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Start your initial free online visit today at 4HERS.com slash crappins.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
If you're looking to get away with all the fabulous luxe experience of the Housewives, but none of the drama, check out Virgin Voyages.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
No better way to do that than a nice new piece of beautiful furniture.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I just did my place all mid-century modern, and I got the most beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
There's something for every style and home, no matter your space or budget.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
We almost didn't show this package because it's put us in a real pickle. But here we go. So we see the package and it's Bronwyn's story. Walking into a restaurant in a bikini and... boots in the dead of winter. And Lisa going, I met Bronwyn at least seven years ago. Like, I don't know how many years. I've kind of known her. Maybe I've known her. Maybe I'm her best friend. Who knows?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I feel very wary of people who have such harsh opinions of people that they've never even met.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
These are exclusively built kid-free cruises, so no matter what you're looking for, you can get the type of experience you need most, all catered to adult tastes. I mean, we love our children.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I was like, oh, girl. Don't sit at our table. I know.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And then we get Heather calling out Bronwyn, being like, wait a minute, I was with Whitney, and you said you were supportive of her, but you were team fucking Lisa, and you were saying horrible things about Whitney. That's it. No one shoot with her again. Call the FBI.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
As if it's not hurtful being disinvited from a trip. If that's not hurtful enough, you're being disinvited by a lady who looks like this in her earrings.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Her earrings are like little monster arms just hanging off her ear all the way down to her chest.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I know. Yeah. That's how it works. It's a metaphor. Bronwyn's like, yeah, I just don't know if it's the place for you to come. And Heather's like, what?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
It's just all these homely rejects in Salt Lake City like shuffle in.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
All right, Chunk, leave. If you can't remember the lyrics, just go.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I need that choir storyline back. I heard that Heather was getting a spinoff of The Beauty Lab, which I can't imagine being great just because... I mean, I know that we're all into Mormons right now. I mean, I guess like that's our thing, right? Like the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and sold on SLC. Yeah. We're like, oh my God, the puritanical repression. Delicious. I can't wait to watch.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So titillating. And I watch them all, so I get it. I'm like, that guy is so repressed. I love it. I'd date him. But Beauty Lab, I don't know. I haven't seen a lot of personality coming out of there. I would like to see the choir, because those are the people in Salt Lake City to pop. Those are the people who got kicked out of like everywhere for everything. And it wasn't just for being gay.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
It was like for lots of reasons. It was like, that's the guy who can't stop playing with his weenus, you know, like your elbow skin. He can't stop playing with his weenus at the bus stop. He got arrested. Heather's like, come to my choir. Follow them.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I'm sorry. We don't take that there. You'll have to take it to Whole Foods instead. Fuck off, UPS store. I've had it with you. Sorry, I went to a real Amazon spiral there. Yeah, it got dark here. You can't give me 10 options of where to return something, Amazon. That's our boss. Okay, so then we go to the hot dub scene on that couples trip that Heather got disinvited from.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And Bronwyn's like, my earrings need to go to the bathroom. They're actually living. So I'll be right back, girls. I'll be right back. And she leaves and Lisa's like, oh my God, we should go to Heather.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Book now at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Well, really, Heather is talking shit for me about talking shit about someone else and I'm trying to fix it, Lisa? That's the kind of friend that you are? That's the kind of friend that you are, Lisa? I don't want to be involved. Oh, well, when it's me and somebody else, it's my responsibility to work it out.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
But when it's you and somebody else, it's my responsibility to ride your dick like it's my job.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Like, it's your job. Today's bartender. Candy loves having boys that he's fucked as those bartenders. My God, I was watching it the other day, and he's like, here's my trainer, Franz. And I was just like... Franz has had that wiener inside of him. That's all I could think the whole time. I was like, yes, Franz. I was trying to picture out how it worked out on the couch.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So Andy's like, so I want to start with your friendship with Lisa. You recently said in an interview that you were on a timeout. When was the last time you spoke? As long as it takes to digest a salad. Like literally never happens. Vegetables are disgusting. There I said it.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Can you blame the woman? My God, look at everybody she's brought on there. She brought on Angie Harrington, and she's like, Lisa swallows gallons of jizz to get jazz tickets.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
No. And this is where we know she's lying, but she doesn't want to get yelled at again because her eyes just start going, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So she's like, no, I don't regret recommending Bronwyn at all. But I think I'm done recommending people. I mean, I'm in Translator Utah. And then she gets her cutesy voice and she's like,
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Like, have the locals do it. You know what I mean? The natives. Let the natives take over. You should let the natives take over. God knows they deserve it. I'd watch that show, too. Give them a show. We saw it a little bit when they went to that Bathtub Springs. No, where did they go? Where did they go? You guys know what I mean, though, right? The salt? The salt place?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
No, they went somewhere where I think we were all generally pretty horrified. They're like, look, it's a native. Do your thing. Do you have any feathers? It was like, oh, this show.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
There was a fight going on on Twitter between Lisa, literally Lisa and everybody. If you say anything about Lisa, she'll find your ass and be like, whatever, stupid.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Yeah. I'm going to go the distance. But she got in a fight with a Mary Cosby fan account that said, I read that book, Diamonds and Rosé, and it even says that Mary got this show started. So whatever, Lisa Barlow. And then Lisa's like, actually, I'm so sick of answering this question from you. So here's the thing. I just started the show, and I'm the center of the show, and everything's about...
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
It's funny that he brought it up here to make her answer again.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Our shampoo bowl when I was a kid was just the sink. My mom would just, like, turn us upside down and start using that little sprayer function.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
It's time for a Bronwyn monologue. It's a big one. Bronwyn answers very longly. I know that's not a real word, but that's all that I could come up with right now. So she's like, you know... Hold on, everybody. Let me just get, I just feel very differently than I did then. And at the time, I definitely did feel like you were not being a friend to me.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And I kept thinking, something has gone on between Lisa and I. Something's not right here. For a minute, it was right. but then it wasn't right anymore. And, you know, I think you see me kind of chasing her the whole season, am I right? You see me chasing her, you do, right? Yes, yes, you see me chasing her. And then, you know, then I was like, what went wrong? What went wrong?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You kept stabbing her in the back for no reason and talking shit behind her back and yelling at her. That's what went wrong. I know that Lisa Barlow is a monster, but you started it.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Yeah, she just sees me as somebody that she sees socially. Well, do you know why she thinks that? Because Lisa was like, I just know her socially.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
What are your deepest, darkest secrets? One time I put a Frosty in my cup holder and accidentally dipped a fry into it. And it was the most delicious thing I ever had. So one time I had a French fry with Frosty on top of it.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Whoa, hello, San Diego. Hello. How are you guys? Looking good out there.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I get the peanut Buster Parfait.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Because there's natural things in it, like peanuts. There's fruit. Yeah. But don't you love when you show somebody your childhood thing? You're like, this is the most amazing thing from my childhood. And they're like...
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
It was mid, you're right. Okay, so it was like a dairy princess. It was like a dairy duchess. It wasn't really a dairy queen.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Yeah, dairy queen needs more sugar. There, they heard it here first.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Mineral from Water says, hey, Heather, you didn't give Bronwyn a chance. Do you regret treating her the way you did after watching her season? Do you think you were unfair to her? And Heather's just like, well, listen, I got a real quick read on Bronwyn, because I know readers, because I'm an author. I'm currently writing my third book called Receipts, Proof, Joseph Smith.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I knew exactly who she was when she had a conversation and then started talking about Whitney differently to her face than she did behind her back. And guess what? I regret nothing. I regret, ow, I bit my tongue. Maybe the teeth.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
What are you talking about? You told Whitney, of all people, that she's iconic. I love that that's Heather's big diss. She's like, we all know you're lying. You called Whitney iconic.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Oh, thank Jehoshaphat. Well, that is something that I see when I watch back. That is true, Whitney. I do see that as I watch that back. And I very much was in a place when we were filming where I thought Lisa, this is all Lisa's fault, by the way. Every personality flaw that I'm showing tonight is because of Lisa.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So it's because I thought that Lisa and I were better friends, and then something had gone wrong, and I was trying to unravel what that had been. You know, I was just trying to unravel it. Just trying to get that going. And, you know, more often than not, I placed Lisa on a pedestal, you know? And then I found out Lisa is this. This bag of bones with long, stringy hair. And...
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I'm so sorry that Lisa did this to you. Lisa did this to you, yes? So you're saying that Lisa hurt you? Okay, show me on this water bottle where Lisa hurt you. Okay.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
with Lisa. I was like, what does that have anything to do with?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And why, why would you want to create fractures in a friendship group that are like newly fragile? And Bronwyn's like, um, did anyone else think that I was only there to embarrass Heather? Answer the fucking question. Answer one question, lady. So she's like, or that I was trying to fix it with her. Because I would love to know that. So everybody thinks I was trying to fix it with her?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Everybody's raising their hand?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
If you don't think that, don't raise your hand. I mean, if you don't think that, raise that. If you think that, don't raise your hand.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Okay, well, Carbon from Dioxide wants to know, Heather, you know, you have an edge to you now, and it's because you're not fat anymore. You've lost weight, so now you're a huge bitch.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I guess when I was heavier, I was more of an underdog. And like, I was just, it was okay when I stood up for myself because I had to wear stretchy pants. But... Season one, Heather, had a lot more confidence than this girl. I mean, this show strips you of your ego. It strips you of your confidence. Okay, now you're just full of shit. I was with you for the first two seconds.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Hi, friends. Thanks for being here. So we did the first half of the Salt Lake City reunion yesterday. So today we're going to do the second half because you know we need to talk about this for 10 hours. Yes. Yes. But first we wanted to start with some Bravo stuff. It's just been going on in the Bravo world. You know, Ramona Singer, I don't know if she's...
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
How does this show strip anybody of their ego? Look around this room. Meredith is literally sitting there like, how dare she? I'm the only person.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You're on a show with Lisa Barlow. How could you say this show strips you of your ego?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And we know what Mary means, too. Because, you know, Mary. Mary's like, well, you know, when I first met Heather, I hated the bitch. But, you know, it's mostly because... I mean, she was fat. I just hate fat people. But now she's not fat. So, you know, good for you, Heather. That's basically Mary.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You remember when Maylee was doing that thing up on the, they were having that like exercise day and Maylee was up on the ropes and Mary's like, I don't remember her being so big.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
That's true. So yeah, Mary's like, but you know, now she's more self-assured and stuff. And she's more confident. And you are different. And Andy's like, well, you always seem confident to me. And she goes, well, I mean, you have to have more confidence to show up with no clothes fit. I mean, I'm wearing a stretchy jumpsuit. I mean, I'm next to all these beautiful women.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And I have confidence in spades to do this whole show, Andy. And he's like, why are you crying? And she's like, because I'm starving. What do you think? I'm hungry.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
No. No, I did not, which is why I showed Lisa a picture that surely she has never seen and had no idea of, and showed it specifically to Lisa in front of production and had no idea that it would end up on camera.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Well, I can't tell you a person other than Gwen I've ever showed a picture of Gwen's dad to. I was very clear about that. I've never shown one to Todd. Mostly because the father worked out and was younger and I just don't want Todd to get mad at me.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I tried to draw up for him, but.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
The stylus was really rough, Andy, I'm not gonna lie. So she's like, well, he's seen it now, of course, but he had not seen it before. And so when you say I look like Glenn, you know, I just felt like maybe I could share this with you. You know, I could confide in you that Gwen looks like her dad and how much that hurts me.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And I felt, you know, she goes through the whole thing like I was confiding these huge things to you, Lisa. I was letting you in in such a huge way with my daughter. And your responses did feel like you were defending them. So Lisa's like, wait a minute, you're talking about the after show.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Hurting for money or what's wrong with this lady? So much somebody said yes. Ramona sold her Twitter to the CEO of BlackRock. BlackRock?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So we don't cover the after show on this show, but on the after show, which we find out now, Lisa's like, you know what? I knew it was a super sensitive situation, but also for the family that lost her son. So Andy's like, well, what did you say on the after show? I barely watched this one. So somebody fill me in, okay? So we see a flashback, and Lisa's talking to Brittany.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Why would you pair those two, you know?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So Lisa is telling her, look, I had a long conversation with Gwen's grandmother and she's like, we're open to meeting her. We're excited. You know, last we were told Bronwyn had a miscarriage. Okay. And there was no child. And then her son who passed away, his wife reached out to Bronwyn and she's like, but we never got to meet Gwen. So it was like really upsetting for them.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So she's what Lisa is saying here. And I'm not going to stand up for Lisa for this whole time. Don't worry. Okay. But I think on this point, she's saying, we filmed the after show before the show airs. So they showed something else that they cut from the show. They showed this on Peacock.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
But they showed a flashback to a foot massage place where on camera, Bronwyn said, I thought there's no way this person could know I have a child somewhere and someday not come for her. And Lisa said, did they not know? Because I think that she was told you had a miscarriage. And she said, we didn't hear differently. And Bronwyn didn't get mad. She was just like, OK.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So Bronwyn had them cut that footage from the show, right? She went to production and said, could you cut that footage? That's too sensitive, I don't want it.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So they cut the footage from the show. So Lisa doesn't know that they cut the footage from the show. So when she goes on the after show and she's like, I thought she had a miscarriage. That's what I was told. And now Bronwyn's like, how dare you, Lisa? Because they forgot to cut that from the after show. They cut it from the regular show, but not the after show.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So now I'm not saying total justice for Lisa. But she's so bad at explaining herself, and she just goes down. At this point, girl, if you can't explain it, just say, I'm sorry. Yeah. That's all she needs to say.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
That's all you need to say at this point. But, yeah.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
She can't do it. I mean, God bless her. Even if she's in the right and she has a point, she's like, how could you do this to me?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So Bronwyn tells us basically what I just told you, right? So she's like, but then in the 18 years that I've had Gwen, I've never told a single person who this person is. I've never asked for money. I've never said anything to them.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So I was really careful, and you and I had a clear conversation, and you're entitled to believe your friends if you want to, but you've been on TV a long time, Lisa, much longer than me, and you know what was going on the after show and repeating that I faked a miscarriage, and this is where Bronwyn loses me. No one ever said, Lisa never said you faked a miscarriage. No one ever said it.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I think the implication is the guy lied and said, mom and dad, don't worry. We can still go to our little planet with all the other fucking wives because the baby died. I think that's what happened. But now she's accusing Lisa. Now, why does Brynn get in trouble for all the shit she lied about to get sympathy points on Real Housewives of New York?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
But Bronwyn is still called an icon when she's saying shit like this. She never said you faked a miscarriage. And that's not cool to put that on somebody.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Because now when you go online, everyone's like, Lisa accused her of faking a miscarriage.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Bullshit, lady. Bullshit. And I don't care who agrees with me. That is low.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So Lisa's like, I never said you played the miscarriage. What? And Bronwyn's like, well, you know how hurtful that would be to hear from my daughter. And she's like, well, he's passed away. And Lisa's sobbing like he passed away. Gwen's father has passed away. And, you know, we go to commercial and we come back and Lisa's just like, you know what? I'm in a lose-lose situation here.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Your goose is cooked. Just say sorry. You're not going to win this. Bronwyn has nailed that coffin shut. Just say sorry.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Well, yeah, because she twists everything they says and uses it as accusations against them and lies, basically. So good for her. She's
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Well, she's... And Bronwyn's right. And this is the thing, you know, because Bronwyn is right on a lot of this stuff. It's like, look, lady, I just told you I'm pregnant. This family totally shunned me, wanted nothing to do with the baby. And Lisa's like, but I love them. They're good people. And you know, to Lisa Barlow, what that means, they're really rich. Yeah. They're really rich.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And they're high up in the church. So it's not like Lisa gets all scot-free here. She's like... Her mother's so sweet. No, she's not. Her mother's a fucking bitch. That mother sent somebody out who's pregnant on the street by her son and disowned the girl. And if she did have a miscarriage, if she believes she did have a miscarriage, where's the flowers? Where's the I'm sorry?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Where's the can we help you? So no matter what happens between Lisa and Bronwyn, fuck those grandparents. Fuck both of them. Yeah. Oh, I love being mad. God, I love this job.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I like to think it's Blackstone, though, or Blackwater. Who's the one that's, like, hired the private armies to go into Afghanistan and stuff? Dick Cheney. I like to think it's that.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And Bronwyn's like, well, once you repeated it, Lisa, it went everywhere. She repeated it on the show after she didn't know that you had a fit about it being on the regular show. Why aren't you yelling at production? Yell at them. So Meredith is like, yeah, that's why she's crying, I think. Lisa, is that why you're crying?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You did hear about the super cuts in Bogota, huh? So she's like, you could at least start with, I hurt your daughter. Which, I mean, I think Bronwyn's right on all of this. So Bronwyn's saying, you could have just said, I hurt your daughter, and this caused all this shit. And you put it out. Even if you didn't know, you could have just said you're sorry.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And Lisa's like, well, but that would be a lie. The lie is that she brought it up on the app.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So she's like, so, you know what? You know where we could start with? This is where you and me struggle. You know, you always say, well, you know what, Lisa, you should be saying that, and you should be saying that, and I don't like when people tell me what to say.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Do you know how difficult it is knowing that somebody had a child that their grandparents didn't? It's like you're talking to the person who had the child that the grandparents.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You better watch out, Afghanistan. LAUGHTER
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Lisa could pass by Jesus Christ getting crucified and be like, I can't believe they're blocking the road to lunch. Do you know how difficult it is to get that reservation over there?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You know, but I could have said what I wanted to say, but there's so many chime-ins from everybody, so I just couldn't say it.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
It's floating off. So she's basically like, well, she's 18. She can do whatever she wants with those fuckers. So Andy's like, well, I guess the million dollar question is, Bronwyn and Lisa, is there a path forward? Here's what I love, healing. So just to remind you, Lisa completely fucked you over and has no remorse. This lady just made you look like you said you faked a miscarriage.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
People are going to be leaving here like, thanks for bringing me to the show. Thanks.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Sorry, okay. But beyond Ramona being a dingbat, what the fuck is wrong with us as Bravo fans that we're still scrolling through Ramona's Twitter that deeply that we realize that months ago this guy's account was Ramona's account?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Immediately with his phone. His phone, he just sinks down, has his phone here. He's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So then we go to the dressing room where Whitney and Heather are still doing their damn handshake. I can't.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You got me again. And Brooks is, I put Brooks Fluffs Meredith, that's probably not the right terminology. He's like, let me fix your hair, mom. Your hair looks really good.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So then we go to Lisa and John, and Lisa's like, I mean, it's just so frustrating. It is so frustrating. I'm, like, tired of the hamster wheel. Do you want to leave the show? What are you, fucking crazy? John, shut the fuck up or I'm going to divorce you. Stop speaking.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So then we go to Heather, and Heather's just talking shit with the makeup people. And that's a good thing when you don't have a husband to go back there and cry to. You just get to talk shit with the people who really don't care about you, the makeup people. Because the husbands at least have to kind of, like mid pretend to care, but the makeup people are getting paid.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So anything you say, they're like, aha, yes, girl, yes. So she's like, I'm totally annoyed with Bronwyn's Dame Edna act. I mean, like, my intention is to make sure everyone loves me and I'll start with Twitter and then words I'll say every politically correct thing. I just feel like she's running for office. Like I'm in a TED Talk that I just did not need to hear.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Give me the Reader's Digest version. The worst thing to ever happen to this world was long-form writing.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
But I was telling her, is there anything you want to apologize to me for? No? No? You don't want to apologize for anything? Would you like to? I kept giving her the options. I gave her multiple things to say, and she just wouldn't say them, Todd. She just went, I guess we're never friends.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And he goes, yeah, I guess you were just social acquaintances.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Yeah, we know how much Bronwyn hates when you demean a woman with sexual comments and suggest that she only gets things from fucking people.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And also, we get to see later in this episode we saw in the previews where Bronwyn is like, and how dare you? Your husband talked to a woman like that? What husband talks about a woman like that? Yours. We just heard him.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Justin's like, hey. Hey, Andy.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You gotta clean the account, Larry. How are you the CEO of Fink? You know Larry has an AOL account. You know he does.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
All right, hi husbands, hi husbands, hi husbands. Okay, Todd, welcome to your first reunion, possibly your last. Let's just hope you make it through the whole thing. So I'm sorry I'm not greeting you in an inflatable costume. How do you feel about landing from business trips and having your wife greet you at the airport in a costume?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Sean, how about you? We've heard you're giving circle jerks this year. Just... Just in case that's true, the love circles. Sounds like, yeah, well, I'm having a great time and Angie's doing a great job and I'm here to support her. Is that Meredith Marks? I fucking love you. Please sign my Louie on the way out.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I thought grandpas had to come to these.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I love that we've got two people on this show married to their grandpa. Okay. I know you guys, I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong. It's deep. It goes deeper than you could ever know, you guys. So just laughing through the tears. So Andy's like, so, John, how are those parallel parking spots? And he's like, wow, that was amazing. I had, like, my first iconic moment ever on television.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
That was a great reveal. Ha!
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
All right. All right, here we go. For the last five years, the Salt Lake City husbands have managed to keep their skis out of the ladies' icier moments.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Who's riding this? Is there a monkey at the wheel back there? But this season, the husbands and couples were openly taking swipes. Todd, that's something you do on phones that work. like they were authorized users of Tom's Black Card Watch. So we see flashbacks of the season of the guys and the guys talking in the pool and, you know, not like bringing misogyny into it at all, which is great.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And Seth is like, guys, you judge a straight guy by his wife. You judge her by the quality of his wife. I think that we're killing it.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Go to a mall at Christmas time and see all the ladies lined up to get the piece of Santa and tell me this ain't where it's at. Biatch.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So are you attracted to him?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Are you saying because he has money or because there's an age difference? Because that is a low blow.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So true. And wasn't this right after Bronwyn had been digging at Brittany about her stupid relationship with Jared, too? I mean, that's fair. That was fair. So, okay. So she gets pissed off at her for that. And then we go to the dinner at the Vacation in Palm Springs. And someone's like, oh, it's nice out here. It's like miserable feeling, but it's beautiful.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You know what? Here's how to make a vodka soda, okay? It's my own recipe. You get a glass, you put some ice in it, then you put some vodka in it, then you put some soda in it. That's my favorite Ramona video of all time.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And Bronwyn goes, yeah, miserable but beautiful. It's an analogy for Todd and I's marriage. Miserable but beautiful, and he's like.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So then we see Todd and Bronwyn sitting together at their house after the vacation where she yelled at everybody and kept having walk-offs and saying the F word and stuff.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And so he's like, well, in the 10 years that we've been together, I've never seen you act the way that you did this weekend. It's not very becoming for you. And next time you're getting a 7-up, there is no Shirley Temple in your future, missy. You want a cherry in your drink, you better learn how to behave.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Trying to think how those things even linked. Oh, yeah, I can be a real snarky cut fitness.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Investigator, she's being too snarky. She was snarky, so I called the NSA.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Okay, well, um... God, I'm really running out here. Redemption from Values says, Bronwyn, Todd is obviously very blind. Were you concerned about him being on the show? You know, maybe embarrassing you, farting inaudibly?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You know, now I've seen from other people's perspectives how maybe I speak to Todd Is that fair? Or about Todd.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
That's maybe not representative of our feelings. And, you know, I won't speak for you. I won't speak for you. You want to speak for yourself? Don't speak right now, please. But, you know, you said similar things to me. I mean, he did say, or get out of this house and leave the car keys. Or you're not going out with your friends after 10. Stuff like that, right?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Tav likes getting the little dog Starbucks drink that's just whipped cream and a tiny thing.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Well, I think opinions are like nose hairs. Everybody's got them. Why are you on me about it?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You know, Bronwyn and I have a strong relationship. We got ups, we've got downs. Sometimes she gets grounded. What?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
But ultimately, we get a great time together. You know, she's experienced. We've experienced so much in the last 10 years. I got older. She, I don't know, she got a few faces. A lot of dresses, am I right?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
People are jealous. Nobody is jealous of your ass. Nobody. I can see that you have a lot of money, which is great. If that's what it costs, I don't want it. I don't want it. Todd yelling at you, I don't like how Todd treats Bronwyn. And I know I'm kind of rough on Bronwyn, but it's only because no one else seems to see it and call her out, which makes me crazy. But ultimately, I like her.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I'm glad she's on the show. I think she's a good housewife. I like her, and I don't like seeing her mistreated by that old bastard. I don't like it. And I hope she finds, wherever he's hiding that money... And she gets it. No, divorce won't work because his ass has everything tied up in trust. You know there's no way that she's getting her hands on anything unless she gets tricky.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And if we know that anyone is tricky on this show, it's that girl. So I hope she takes all these powers that she's using right now against Barlow and takes that fucker for everything he's worth. Get him. Get him, Bronwyn.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
They're jealous of me. Well, I'm curious about the conversations that have come out about your behavior on the show or... be seen from each other on the show. Don't sue me.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And Bronwyn was like, well, you know, I tend to have a sarcastic bend to my humor. And I always want to say something before anyone else says, she's basically kind of parroting everything that he's been mad at her about, you know, which I don't like.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And I know I seem grumpy. And I know when I'm yelling at all these ladies like children on my lawn.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
But a couple of things are off-limits for television. First of all, my nipples. Whether through a shirt or not through a shirt, these hands are covering them, and you're not getting a piece of this, so stop trying.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And the second thing that's off-limits is Bronwyn's daughter, Gwendolyn, who I've been with for ten years. So bringing up issues that were personal is completely unacceptable. Your wife did that. Just pointing it out. You guys, that came from your team. So he's like, almost to the point of being loveless.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
It goes so far back. One of them's like, you bitch, Luann. I don't know why you think you can talk to me like that. It's like, Larry.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
John, stop parallel parking in your head and just do it.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Aha, yes, she did. And I'll see you like I did Hewlett Packard.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And Bronwyn's like, he's talking about the after show and what was said on the after show. And John's like, Lisa didn't bring that up. Bronwyn brought it up.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Okay, I don't want to litigate this. I just lit a fire and now I'm mad that it's burning. So please stop fighting, please. Please.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
John Barlow, watch your tone.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
He does that sometimes. Right, honey?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So they're just yelling at each other. Just would like to assert again that no one accused Bronwyn of having a miscarriage except Bronwyn. She said that. Okay, so Heather is just like, guys, I just wanted to say something. Sometimes in life, we reunite. Sometimes we decide to parallel park. Sometimes, Meredith, shut the fuck, Heather, shut the fuck up already. None of us can take this anymore.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C, Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I never noticed Ramona's Twitter pattern was always like, cause you know, in real life on the show, in the real life on the show, you know what I mean? She'd be like, let's face it. Like she would say that a lot or I'm sorry, but her Twitter pattern is nothing like, nothing like just hanging with a girlfriend and laughing, okay? Nothing like the fall. Nothing like the sunset, Saratoga Beach, okay?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I'm not texting. I'm going through our notes on the phone. I'm just sitting up here on my phone. Hi, Mom. Sorry I didn't text you back today. So let's see. This other thing. Vanderpump Rules star Tom Sandoval. This is good, guys. Isn't it his karma just to show up with pit stains down to his love handles? I know. Who here's watching The Traitors?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
He's like, hello, welcome to The Traitors.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
What's wrong with that lady? I love that lady. Carolyn.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
She's like Bobcat Goldthwait swallowed a frog.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I just want to hear her do the Pledge of Allegiance. Did you do heroin in your throat? Where did you do it? Where were you sticking that needle?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
But it's how she said it, too, because, you know, she's like, actually, my son is dead.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Well, I was in the mercy of the wardrobe department, dude. Which, by the way, they did a great job.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Experience the convenience of having your favorite subscriptions in your Prime Video account with one login and one password.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You can't say that right after you blamed them for everything in your life, Tom. That day they gave me the thickest wool sweater I've ever worn. I was sweating my ass off. It was on there. I'm only human. Did you just get caught cheating on your girlfriend again? Why are you whipping that one out?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
You had to stop doing coke for two days, Tom. Been there, okay? Just sweat it out for a week first and then join us when you're done. Jesus Christ. There was a peacock in that house. He snorted it. He's trying to come back out.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And it's always some woman who's the traitor, have you noticed? Everybody he's come up with, he's like, it's Chris Shell. Why? She's a bitch.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I'm like, okay, come on, Chris Shell. And every time they cut to Tom Sandoval, this is his face.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
So my favorite character from The Traitors who got kicked off immediately, of course, spoiler alert. I mean, that's in the beginning, so sorry. If you're not caught up, you're bad. Was Chanel from Real Housewives of Dubai. She got kicked off, which was so sad because she's been so funny in all the interviews after she's been kicked off.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
In this one, The Traitors' Chanel Ayan didn't know what Survivor was. She thought that castmates battled illness and drought. This is her quote. I've survived malaria, typhoid, Ebola, a drought, like everything. So I was like, what have you survived?
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
And then Derek said, I lost 40 pounds. Basic. Basic.
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#2703 RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD
Bring Chanel somewhere else. She'll come to some other show. Put her on Roni.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
And I'm like, he said it. He said it.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
And she's like, well, it's the season finale, so I've got to be mad at somebody. I'm turning on the gay. I'm turning on the gay. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I was at the Starbucks, and I'm learning that coming to nice cities is turning me into a nicer person. Because we were in Canada last week. I mean, that's pretty nice. You know, we've been to Minnesota. They're pretty nice. You guys are lovely. And I was in the line and I did the pre-order thing, you know, and it's like five to seven minutes.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah, I think it's going to be fun. Cool.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I like this show because, you know, so many of the voices or whatever, they're all so stupid. But it's so helpful when we can do the exact same thing for two characters. Because this is her husband. Hey. And this is Taylor. Hey. Hi. Are they the same people? But I do like Madison with her Google.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
She's like, hi, Google.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
And it just turns on bright pink lights. He's like, why do we have to do that? Because I can't pay to shut up and bathe in the pink.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I'm just excited any scene we get to watch Shep eat.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So I want it seven minutes and 30 because I just want to go in there. I want to get my fucking drink. You know what I mean?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Whitney's still fucking wasted. If anybody has a... Yeah. He has been wasted this whole year. If anybody has an alcoholism storyline, it's Whitney, you know? They'd kick him out of those meetings. He'd just be like, hey. My name is Whitney and I can't say it. I can't say it. I can't say it.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
It's just unrequited love, you know. It's been so hard. But I'm certainly not going to be crying in my Cheerios every morning like Othello.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So I go in and this nine-year-old cheerleader is there with her dad. And the dad's like, hey, what do you do? Where are you from? Talking to the lady making the Starbucks. And she's so nice. She wasn't making my drink. She was holding my cup. Because she's talking to this fucking dad. So I'm stewing. And the girl, you've seen the cheerleading girls, right? My niece was a cheerleader, Kayden.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Mother's just opposed to the name. Doesn't believe in that as a personality trait. Every time I said, Mother, can we have some Cheerios? She said, no pussies allowed in this house and smacked me.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I like that Whitney's kind of implying that this is all bullshit. He's like, yeah, I've known you for a long time. I've never seen you actually care, Shep.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
And he's like, I know, right? Did you buy it? I'm a changed man ever since I had Ayagarshka.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Well, listen, you can't just sit around. You need to prove your virility. So there's a school bus stopping right up. It just left. All right. All right. Just call Molly. Call Molly.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Shep and Whitney talk like they're in some 50s movie. That girl, that ain't sweet on you.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Shall we have a nibble?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
It's like the idea of Molly dawned on him and there's fireworks of carbs coming out of his mouth.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I just wouldn't want to treat a woman badly, you know? And I'm not really looking for anything serious after that whole other not serious thing I've been doing for the past year. So, you know, I just wouldn't want to lead her on. That would just be so unlike me.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Gersh, what if she doesn't have a pretty little freckled lip? It's kind of my kink. Hopefully she's just down to ball.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I haven't been able to get a proper boner for two, but I've still managed.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So I know they should have seen it coming. So they call Molly and she's like, hey, Molly.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
And chicken fingers.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Are you coloring the coloring book?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Hold on. Let me see if my tuba still want to, but you still want to. Nope. Nope. All right. I'm free. I'm free.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So I know the drill. But it's like toddlers in tiaras. on crack times 10. I mean, it's terror, like makeup, the makeup, the eyelashes, the hair, you know, the glam, the diamond backpack.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah, I hope it's a stretch limo. I'm huge.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I can't fit into a regular car, so... What if I pick you up at an M151 mutt, just like the jeeps they had in the Vietnam War?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
He's gonna... Shep's gonna be your escort.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Was that the actual model?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
That's what you get when we perform in an actual theater. Research.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
What would like be the sound of all of this? It would be like the deserved at all. Like what would you call it?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Loser, loser, chicken boozer, I don't know.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah, yeah. So Craig's like, wow, chicken, I wish you could stay one extra day. You know, like you just, we just need a bonus day, you know?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Well, what if we run out of gas on the bridge? Wouldn't that be terrible? Well, that's about when our relationship ran out of gas, so it would be fitting.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
If Paige wasn't so lazy, she would have jumped off that bridge. She would have. Her face this whole car ride is like. So she's like, yeah, okay. You know, remember that time when we were in the car on the way to the airport and I went, no, no, I don't want to go to the airport.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
It is a tiny little terrorist in training, you know? And so the guy was like, yeah, you know, we're here for a cheerleading conference. Yeah. No shit, dude. I just wanted to say really, because I thought RuPaul was like starting a child version in your city. But instead I said, that's so great, you look beautiful. So I think it's rubbing off on me.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah, that was like one of those days I just couldn't bear to get on a plane. I mean, they're disgusting, they're horrible, they're uncomfortable, and then I looked at you, and the plane won. That was a fun day.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Nobody knew what the fuck it meant. At some point, kids are like, that doesn't even make sense. They only know the text version.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Thank God it's not. What is it?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
The country's best yogurt.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
That place had too big of a head. No one likes arrogant yogurt.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah, there's like some scandal happening in this audience. They're like, don't you dare talk about TCBY.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
You're not from here. You can't comment on our goddamn TCBY.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So she's like, yeah, you know, it's just terrible getting on a plane. You know, there's so much riffraff here in the South. You get on a plane, everybody's like, hi, how are you? What's your name? What are you doing? What are you here for? Where'd you get all that plaque? Did you go to a funeral? Why do you have bangs?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Just like in the North, we say, zip it! Shut up!
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Gross. Gross, Craig. Just get me back to New York where I can order something to my door and not have to see somebody. You don't even have DoorDash in the South. Where's Paige? She can't get DoorDash anywhere. Why does she always say that?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I can't wait to get home where food is delivered.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I would call DoorDash, but I'm embarrassed to be having my food delivered to a gift wrapping room.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Hold on, let me go through my iCal.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Never. Never, never, never, never, never, never. Oh, there's only 28 days in this month. 28 nevers. Never, never.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Well, I'm going to L.A., and then I'm going to Italy with my family. No, you're not invited. You're not part of my family. We all hate you. Never. Never. Then I'm going on tour. Okay, so did you guys watch the after show of this? I don't, but I do love some clips. Okay, it's how I get my news. Headline reading.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So I've been watching the Instagram clips of this after show where Paige finally opens up. I was actually surprised Paige opened up on the after show. Get yourself an Us Weekly article. I mean, Jesus Christ, Lindsay had one for literally everything. Lindsay came out of a bathroom stall, according to us. You know, like, come on, Paige. I believe in you, Paige.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So anyway, she was talking about her breakup, and she's like, yeah. It's like he never really supported what I was doing. Like, he got mad I was going on tour. And Amanda goes, yeah, remember he made you watch that, like, documentary about people going on tour? And Paige goes, yeah. It was about some band called ABBA. I mean, it's like some Norwegian thing. And it was... I was mortified.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I was like, how do I stand up for this woman week after week? Honestly. It's like, yeah, some Norwegian people. And they have a whole documentary about how all of their families broke up because they went on tour. I just love... I love that Craig's like, watch ABBA, see how it ruined their life. Yeah.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
No. What was that one? Oh, you have forsaken me, Instagram.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Paige never went on one single vacation with Craig for the show. That's not fair. If she was a good girlfriend, she would go with Craig on the show to the Bahamas, to any place, any vacation. That's fucked up, man.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I'm not getting paid for this show. Why would she go? It's not her show. She ain't getting paid for that shit. I wouldn't go either.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
No, he was really spicy about it. There are monsters on those vacations. I wouldn't go either. Just like Craig was to his girlfriend. That's how he would have been.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Oh, Paige! Why aren't you marrying Craig?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Hold on, I want to dedicate this slow dance to Paige and Craig. You can dance, you can dance.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Are you trying to say that we're usually more in sync, Craig? Yeah. Well, that band is more together than we'll ever be.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Just kidding. She's not kidding. She is not kidding. So, oh, I love a mixed crowd. Poor Craig, stop falling for it. Suckers. Suckers.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
suckers last week people were booing because I said shape what the fuck is wrong with me cheerleader girl she fucked my whole day up I should have kicked her like I wanted to in the first place always kick I was saying that Shep was faking his whole relationship and people were like suckers
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I know. And the party planner who did everything, like people did nothing for this party. He's like, okay, well, I set up this old prison. So that's why I made this a presentable place.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
You know, Patricia was mortified to walk in here. Like, well, I never... Only time I come here is to get Whitney out and pay the chief.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Okay, so party, party. This is the only place in the South I've ever seen it turn summer and people put on suits. Who does that? Where I'm from, you get out your little short jorts, throw on a thong, and hit the town. I can tell. They're like, it's summer, wear a three-piece suit and a ball gown.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I don't know if this is only editing, but every time they show Taylor with Penny, Penny's just laying there looking at her, and she's like, hey, Penny, what do you think?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So, I got a text yesterday from Taylor. It was just like, hey, FYI, you know, you know all the girls were talking about you trying to see Sally's boobs. I mean, what the hell, man? She's thin right now. And we see a flashback of Sally being like, yeah, he was like, show us your tits. And Lev is like, oh, my God. Yeah.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah, and he was just saying it in front of everyone. Oh my God. Oh my God. I love earning that paycheck.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I was just asking Ben in the airport. Is human trafficking, like, what is it in airports? Every airport we've been to is like, watch out, human trafficking. It's like, don't get trafficked. Don't drop your bag or you'll be trafficked. And I was like, what is going on? Is human trafficking, like, that huge in airports now? Like, in Charlotte? Like, is that a thing?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Oh, that girl is from here.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
No, that girl seems super nice. She seems nice. I actually like when they show her today. I mean, she seems like so nice and so young. You know, I want to pull up in my auntie van and be like, get in, get in. I know he seems nice, but no. Get in the car. We're having a talk around the block, man. But I like when they showed her in this episode. Every time they show her, he goes, hey, Pookie.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
He's like, hey, Pookie. Pookie. Pookie. How you doing, Pookie? How you doing today?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Insane right now, Ronnie. This ass crack is like on its own journey today. God damn. It needs its own frequent flyer mile.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So we get to Sally on her way to the summer s'more. And she's with her fuckboy, Andrew.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I'll take him. I mean, that guy is hot. Listen, that's the kind of fuckboy this show needs. We're following the wrong fuckboys. Get on that one. A man boning a prayer. Run him like there's no tomorrow.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
She tells him, wow, I've never seen you with the shirt on.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So then we go to Molly's, and Shep shows up in some velvet... What is Shep doing? What was this outfit? It was like Parliament. It was like the Revolutionary War. I don't know what the fuck Shep was doing.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah, he was fighting for the other side of that war. He was in the blue coats. Wait, I'm really stupid with history, sorry. When we were in Canada, the lady who works the theaters and stuff in Canada, the booker, She was like, Oasis is so huge that we had to build a new stadium for Oasis. Isn't that crazy? Never underestimate the power of a dad. You know? God damn. For Oasis. Yeah.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
But then I saw all these little girls and Luann's in the same town. You know. You know Luann is picking off those little girls and just taking those stem cells.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
That's what I said.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
You go, dad.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Okay. So he picks her up. He's like, hi. She's like, wow, you look so handsome. She's got a big knocker that's like huge nuts to the hanging down.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Like Tom Girardi nuts just like hanging all the way to the grass. That was a knocker.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
You know, when I got the balls in the zipper, stuck in the zipper. Remember that? Remember that?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
How old are you again? I shouldn't get that. Something about Mary's girl's like, was that in black and white or... Well, you know, he gets his nuts stuck in the zipper. She's like, gross. Don't you remember the part? That girl combed her hair with spooge. And then she had like, that's hilarious.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I feel like that's like an old man long pee. And I can say this as a 50-year-old person, almost. The pee gets longer and longer. You know Shep was in there for a long time.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I could have watched something about Mary in the time that it took that man to pee.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So he's like, oh, it's just going to be like prom. She's like, well, I'm not a big dancer. Prom was not really a big deal for me. It was super stressful. It's like tonight. I'm just terrified I'm going to be stuck out there dancing with a fucking dork.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
He's trying to make a mark for Rodrigo. He just tries so hard. He's literally running around, and he comes up to Austin, and he's like, hey, titty joke. Remember? Because you said that thing about her, and now you're in trouble for her? It's going to be a great season finale.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I feel like every time they show his partner, they show the gayest shot ever because it's never just his partner being like, hello, how are you? It's always him being like... Every time, I know they have to have normal shots of this fucking guy.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So, Leva arrives in a leopard dress. She's like, hey, nice place. What is this, a jail? So, yeah, I heard about the barber on the phone. Yeah, I don't have a long time, guys. Can we just get to the fucking barber scene? All right, I've got things to do.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
collects paycheck so she goes up to Vanita and she's like you know what oh no she's just telling us she's like you know what if you heard JT saying that fucking JT can call like a man and be like I feel like you've disrespected my friend instead of like whisper whisper whisper I'm so sick of everybody and everybody else's business I cannot wait to confront somebody tonight about this when it's none of my fucking business
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
She's like, she's pulling out an umbrella. Yeah, the air is a little thick tonight. Jesus.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
But I mean, it wasn't like a thing. You were just talking about my boobs.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
You were talking about my boobs. Yeah, I remember you were talking about it. Remember that?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
That was fun. It's fine. Who cares? Who doesn't talk about my boobs? I love them. You know, and I was just saying it in a fun way because everyone was talking about how, you know, I was getting rid of them. And then we see a flashback to that scene last week with the doctor where he's like, whoa, wow.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Did someone get married because a pair of cans just jangled down the street? Jesus Christ.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
We're taking those things out. Can I get a picture first? Just as proof. Yeah, well, I thought it was fun, too. And then it got brought back to my attention. It was something bad I was saying, you know? I mean, I don't want Pookie to get mad, so...
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So good to see you, Charlotte, you gorgeous people. Yes. Good to see you guys. We're here at the same time as a cheerleading conference. Yes. It was a glam off at the Starbucks. Guess who won? I was like, get out of here, you nine-year-old little bee. This is my town.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah. Summer soiree, not drinks. So he's like, yeah, I mean, it just got brought to my attention. So she's like, I'm going to have a talk with Taylor. Dun, dun, dun. The big boob confrontation. I can't wait. Season finale. They're firing on all cylinders. We're going to have a boob fight.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
What are you, Sergeant Pepper? Molly's like, who? What are these fucking old guys talking about? Is there a jello stand in here for these men? Jesus Christ.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
We were like, here we are, we're passing a law.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I know. He just rolls up with the dolly. She's like, I'm going inside. I'm not standing out here. Who stands out here is ridiculous. I'd rather go into the prison than talk to these losers in the sun. Get me in there.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
When I just called these people nice, now I remember. You were not nice people. Yeah. That was murderous. I've never seen so much murder in people's eyes. I did it!
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So Patricia is sitting with Ryan, and Ryan's like, wow, this is a great party so far, right? It's all going real well, except for those feathers. Yeah, you should have that woman murdered. I like that he's so mad about feathers, and he's talking to Patricia, who is covered head to toe in fucking feathers.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Or he's going to be offed. Just read this note before you're dead. You fuck with feathers, you fuck with me. I brought you onto this show, Mary. I can take you off. So she's like, look, Austin, look how many single women there are. And this guy's like, Austin's not single. Remember, he's dating that young girl out of town, so he never has to have in-town accountability about everything. So, oh.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
And two, caution. Caution. I don't think you're wrong.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So Shep and Molly are doing their, he's like, whoa, I'm a boy and you're a girl wearing a ball. I'm like on a date with Ophelia.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
That was so good. The rest of that tour, we just did Scandaval everywhere. Like, by the end, all we had left was a Secrets Revealed episode. And we were like, let's do it. We're like, and then Kristen went to the bathroom. You know, we were recapping some really intense scenes from those Secrets Revealed.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
But you told the girls... To this party.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
You told the girls he wanted to see your tits.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Well, I don't know how you phrased it to the girls.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
It was told to me. You. You.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
You, I'm not taking this. I don't have to do this. I'm walking away. Taylor, you are not important enough to walk away every scene, okay? You have not earned this. I am addicted to your charisma. You stand right there. You finish this like a grown turtle.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Most docile chihuahua I've ever seen. Ryan's the chihuahua. Ryan's over there like feathers. Feathers. Feathers. Feathers. Feathers in here.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
For chihuahuas, they're always like.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I need to get back and make sure nobody in Nike's is getting through the front door of my bar, so...
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So she's like, come on, Vanita. You need to confront Ryan. Do you want me to go with you? She goes, yeah, I'm scared.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Did you see what he did to those feathers?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Isn't this a nice little side room? Finally, we can kiki. Oh, my God. Thank God we're in a prison because Belinda's going to be stuck in it. God damn it, Belinda. There's feathers in here. So they sit down and Vanita's like, so I'm just here with Leva because she's my support. Thank you, Leva, so much for being here.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
You know, the information you gave me about the barber, you know, and JT saying something derogatory, you know, I mean, it's just confusing. I just don't think JT's capable. I just don't think he's capable of saying anything, you know? And then I learned that there's no facts behind what you said. Zero facts, Ryan. Yeah.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I spoke with the barber on FaceTime. Case closed. Case closed.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So Ryan's like, well, I believe in telling the truth always. When it's your truth to tell. And this is a moment where I've seen my friend telling me that she's in love with this short person and she's caught feelings for him. And even though they're never going to get her on a ride at Disneyland because he can't even ride the fucking T. I mean, this is a short person.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
And, you know, and then, you know, there's paragraphs, you know, from JT. And that's, I have to tell my friend. I have to tell my friend. So this barber is clearly running a business. And he's obviously going to want a clean house. And I get why he would spin it. We could have flashed back to the barber being like, girl, I don't know what he said. He said something like, some girl, some show.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Maybe she's black. I don't know. I mean, I didn't really say anything.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I do remember you didn't buy any extra conditioner like I offered you. That wasn't nice, but I would never repay you in a terrible way. It's just that I'll make a little more conditioner commission than I do want anything else in this place. But listen, you don't support me, doesn't mean I'm going to throw you under the bus, does it?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Get that messy barber on here immediately.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
We need a good gay on this show. I need the barber. Yes. Girl. Shep came in here the other day. He said, I don't want a haircut. I said, get the fuck out of here and send Austin. Austin came in and asked for the Lindsey Graham. He asked for the Lindsey Graham haircut. I gave it to him straight up. He's fucking four women. I'll tell you that right now.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Okay, now we have someone else in this room. Okay, you know what, Madison? He's okay. It's not like we're jumping down his throat or we're accusing him of stuff that he didn't do or anything like that, Madison.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Rodrigo's like, did someone say bottom of it?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Well, what I said was not my subconscious. I said JT, and he said everybody. And then Patricia's like, oh, hi. Excuse me. Do you know how many sweat and poor people are in there? I can't take this. If I wanted to spend the night of abuse, I'd be at home with an electric rod and Randy, which is where I'm going to end up.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
No, um, um, no, no, because you're not finishing. I was like, yes, listen, um, I don't know what Ryan's doing right now, but I'm team Ryan. Shut up, Leva. And what are you talking about? People gang up on other people. That's you, Leva. You're holding the torch every single time. It's Leva.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Um, take it down a notch, Ryan. Take it down. Take it down a notch, gay person.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Leva! How are you? How are you, Leva? Leva!
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Whoa, you know what? This is a better party than the party out there. That's it. What are we all doing in here? Oh, my God. It's a man. A man in a suit. Ah! Whoa.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Top of the morning to ya. What's going on? Are you all happy? I'm happy. I'm so happy.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
All right, everybody. Still me.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
just get out. I want to have this conversation with just us. I don't need all these little voices. I've already dealt with feathers.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So he's like, I just don't need any more opinions in here, okay? Leva, this is between us. And she's like, um, listen, I'll let Vanita decide that. Vanita's like, uh, Leva, I love your support, but you've done a lot. You can go. She's like, uh,
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So she leaves, and she's pissed. So Ryan's like, okay, Vanita, I'm listening. So Vanita's just basically like, what's going on? So meanwhile, Madison's outside as everybody gets kicked out. It's like, oh my God, Dorinda Medley just slapped me, called my husband ugly, and left. What the fuck's going on in there?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Uh, yeah, well, guess what? I'm going to trust Ryan all day over JT. Sorry.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So he's like, well, I'm allowed to say what my barber said to me. And I'm sorry that it hurt anybody, but I'm allowed to relay my own barber gossip. Yeah. And I love that she bought that. She's like, you know what? You're right. You are allowed to. You paid for those plugs. This is all your story.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I have to say, everybody on this show keeps saying, oh my God, they've got such chemistry. They literally don't. They show them standing against this back wall, and she's just kind of leaning there and looking around at people, kind of rolling his eyes. And he's like, this is real velvet. I got it off Amazon. It came with a little parrot sewed to the shoulder, but I took it off for the party.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Sienna said that when I wore it, it just proved that I wasn't rich enough. Oh, well.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So all the gang is like, they should make out.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
And Craig's texting, you should make out. There was a man, a man in a hot suit, who looked over at his friend and wanted more romance for his friend's life. Sustained. He's like, no. Craig wants us to make out. She's like, all right.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah, it was so rough during that whole time. You know, we just kept getting our lines crossed, and now we're just... both back on the same line, so.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So he's like... Bring your own straw, though. I don't like shoving yours at mine now.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah. He's like, yeah, maybe 2024 if he got engaged. If he got engaged. And he's like, yeah, maybe we're both going to get married this year. I'm 99% confident that I'm going to propose this year.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So, let's see. So, we get some small talk between Shep and that girl. I don't care. Okay, so basically the party's over, right? Okay, let's just leave this party. Okay, because now's the good part.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah. They say two hours later and then we see fireworks and I was like, is Shep eating again?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
And Austin's like, well, I guess they broke up. I guess we could see that there were some cracks. There were cracks there.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I'm sorry, but especially knowing that that man told her to watch the ABBA documentary because tours ruin lives. Fuck that fucking guy, okay? And then...
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
But how accurate was it? Because it should have been going like, and Shep, a disheveled douchebag, who probably smells like two days ago, enters.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah. I mean, look, it's just things that Craig's saying. Like that, and then when he told her, yeah, I guess you could just take the kids because you make your own money, honey. Or... You know, I know that you're working now, but eventually we're going to have kids and you can't do that anymore. Fuck that fucking guy. I don't care what happens to him. And I'm not buying this, sir.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
His whole like, ooh, like he got a special haircut for this scene. And I think this is right when he did his whole bullshit thing where he went on Instagram and he's like, guys, I've been so blindsided by Paige. After it was like three months since she dumped his ass. And he's like, oh, it's just me, Charming Craig. It's the same haircut.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
So Craig is doing his whole, wow, you know, we had, and I'm actually proud of Craig here because I really thought Craig was going to do like a come in guys where he's like in sweatpants and acting all sad, but he's not. He's doing like a running for mayor thing where he's like, well, you know, I'm, You know, we had a great Thanksgiving together.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Like, everything was normal at her parents, you know? And then a couple weeks later, she said, we got to talk.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
And Shep goes, oh, my God! I hate that!
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I have to take control of my life again, and we need to break up, you know? And the only people I wanted to tell was you guys, because, you know, we were crossing lines, right, Austin?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah, but the truth is I couldn't get it out yet. You know, it was so hard. He's like, were you waiting to go public with this? Why would you wait? He's like, because what if it wasn't real, you know? Like, she asked me to buy her a ring. No, she didn't.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
For Paige, that's like saying, hey, Craig, would you do me a favor? Come inside my bedroom at night holding a knife to my throat and say boo. Craig, she don't want that. That's like the most terrifying thing in the world. She's not going to ask for that.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Well, Austin, to be real with you, like, I was... I'm so sorry to interrupt you, but he goes, she asked me to buy her a ring, and I did. And then he goes, like, I went to New York, designed the whole ring, and she said to hold off. So you didn't buy the ring. You fucking liar. You can't make it through two sentences, Craig. So...
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Storyteller, yeah.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
But looking back, maybe that was her starting to panic or freak out.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
We went to karaoke and she sang a Beyonce song, but I don't remember the words being, if you like it, then you should have put a ring on somebody else because I'm never going to fucking marry you. Please get that fucking ring away from me. It didn't really even match the music.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
That's fair. It's just really weird to mourn someone who's still alive. No, it's not. Do you know how many people I have imaginary funerals for in my head? Every day! This morning, I got back on the elevator with a Starbucks in my hand and said, that poor little girl... Full face of makeup and already dead in line to the Starbucks.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
And that brings us to the end of Southern Talk.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I like that it's an excitable queen doing it.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yes, we can-a, it's Sedana.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah. Could you be the person doing notes for that? I'm sorry, we didn't get enough from Iron Gates. Can we bring somebody else in for that read?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
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Watch What Crappens
#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Interior, white people. Lots and lots of white people.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Previously on this season of Southern Charm. JT had an accident on his Hummer Hot Wheels.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
And almost got his balls crushed.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Thankfully, he didn't have any in the first place.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Then he got off on the wrong foot. Oh, my foot. The wrong teeny tiny baby foot. Hey. With nearly everybody.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I am furious. There was once a very handsome man in a golf place that raised an objection, your honor.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I'm a lawyer. A lawyer and a storyteller.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
You don't come out and hit on barely legal teens with me anymore. Hurts my feelings, bro.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Meanwhile, two homogenous white girls hired for the men on this show to emotionally abuse before they get fired without cause like every other woman to ever be on this show. Except for me, of course. Sally and Taylor agreed to disagree about new homely douche they're kind of fighting over. Gaston.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
No one smocks like Gaston.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I get off my ass. I just kind of blew the guy in The Great Royal American, okay? It's not like I tried to marry him or nothing.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Thanks for the whole fish. But, uh, I got a girlfriend.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
And over in washed-up Modelville, Molly was getting her groove back by blowing a tubby guy.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Sorry. Blowing a tuba.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Unfortunately, while she was pretending to be in love with Shep, Shep was pretending to be in love with a beauty pageant girl from the Bahamas to improve his Q rating. Gosh, we're in love, right? Did someone fart?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
But I got you a Megalodon tooth.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Just stab me with it or fucking let me out of here. Your choice.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
You can't be mad at me. I said the word addict on national television.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Want some? Craig, you are so brave. It's insane right now. And right when it seemed that Ryan would be named the least talkative gay person to ever appear on television, he dropped a barber bomb.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Wait till I tell Charles about this.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Vanita, this is absolutely not true. I didn't say you were some black girl. I said you were an insanely cute homewrecker who happens to be black. Could you come to the event space and talk to me about it?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
We won. We won that one. I have to apologize to whoever's getting my ass cracked. There's people on the sides today. I'm a very short-waisted person, and I should know better than to wear a goddamn button-down to a shirt. Did you see me come out? I was waving like this. I was like, the butt crack is fully out. So we're here at the same time as this cheerleading competition.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
For Christ's sake, should I cook you dinner too? Woman, I'm busy. I've got a life.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Barbers don't lie. They're not called Liar Sams. It's Fantastic Sams. It's not like Fantastic Liar Sams. Trust your barber.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
I kind of buy it. So she's like, so how are you doing? Your new plugs look really good, you know? Not trying to gas you, but you look fucking hot right now. You look really, really good. I'm so mad at you, I'd still fuck you right now. You want to? Should we do this on Bunny's couch or...
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah, I mean, like, I was just racking my brain around it, you know? Like, why would he say some girl? Like, it just doesn't sound like you. It just, it made me feel like I didn't matter to you.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Can I make you dinner? Can I make you dinner?
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Okay. Well, now that I've got a little bit more of a level head and you've agreed to marry me, I just really... I just really don't see you saying it, you know? I mean, this makes so much more sense the way you're explaining it, you know? It's just not you, right? It's not how you talk.
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#2772 Southern Charm S10E15: Soirée For Your Loss - Live in Charlotte
Yeah, it seems a little too close what he described as what's happening on the show. Like, there's some girl on the show, she's flirting with me, and my girlfriend's going to be pissed off. I mean, it sounds like you said it. Otherwise, where did the barber get it? Yeah. You know? So Vanita's like, well, I'm still JT. Team JT. And he's like, oh, and this gay, some gay, dropped a nuke about me.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
There's such the gay couple on this show that I was like, honey, I found a $500 chip. And his husband's with a bottle of wine like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. It's like, put the husband on it. At least he tries to act alive. I know. Poor Rodrigo's like, you've got one of those lobotomy machines right here. It's just like, guys, did anybody hear from JT?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And then finally we land over at Casa Craig. Yeah. Where is he and Paige? Oh, I love the turn on Craig. I just love it.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
God, it's been like two years of every time you say Craig's name, everyone's like, ah, he makes pillows.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
We all fucking bought it. We should know better right now. How many of us in here date men? For Christ's sake. There's a whole army of us in here. You'd think at least one of us would turn to each other and go, let's just stop this.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
But also, I know why there was a groan, too, because we all know what's coming in this scene. Okay? It's the feet in the sink. It's the feet in the sink. So Craig and Paige, they get up out of bed. At 1.30 p.m. You know, the Paige influence. Yeah. They go down to the kitchen to make breakfast. The first order of business is that Craig can't start his stove up, and he blames it on his housekeeper.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
That's how it goes. It was delicious. It's karma. You're a good person. You get tater tots. You're a bad person. Your nipples fall off. Your nuts are in your throat. No one will fucking do your honors for you.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
He's like, It's not starting because I think the housekeepers were in here and they were like messing with the burners.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Craig, we've seen you try to use a blender. You know what I mean?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You know the housekeeper was at home just like, Marie Kohn, motherfucker.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
The things that housekeeper has to clean up and then you're still going to call her out on TV.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Pulling knives out of the fucking wall, walking around with putty to make the holes over every day.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And then he's going to pretend like he actually uses the stovetop when there is two full-on books on the backsplash. The Snoop Dogg cookbook and then the Sewing Down South catalog. Those do not belong on a backsplash. That's where they will collect grease or fall into a flame and start a house fire.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Some people like to do that. My mom just put a piece of art she got at the thrift store. It's very colorful. She's like, I'm putting art on my backsplash now. And I was like, oh, that's nice. Thinking like she would hang it up. I got it over there. It's leaning on the fucking stove. I was going to warn her, but then I was like, you have a will, right? Would you make me some eggs?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Now, I have to say, Minnesota has given us many, many wonderful things, like hot dishes, prints. Luke. Janelle from Big Brother. But I have to say, thank you. Oh, that got a Luke Warren. You see? But I have to say, thank you, Minnesota, for giving us Carolyn. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, Carolyn.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
It's time for a Krappens commercial.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
They were dry. You know they're dry. They were dry.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Craig can't cook. I couldn't believe that Paige even said that. She's like, make me breakfast. I was like, do you have a death wish? Why would you do that to yourself?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
But she does love comedy. I think that's why. So first of all, signs everywhere that they were going to break up. First, as many people noticed, they each had their own jug of orange juice. That's a bad sign. Is it? they're this long into a relationship and they can't share an orange juice together. They can't bring their orange juices together.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I wouldn't share shit. I like those couples who have separate rooms. I want like a separate room, a separate kitchen, a separate bathroom. I'll just see you down the hall every once in a while, get a blowjob and go back to bed. Get out of my room. Don't put your fucking lips on my OJ. They were on my dick.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
But truly, like, when Craig sat on that countertop It was bad enough he was sitting on his countertop because people don't sit where you're preparing your food. But then he swung around and put his foot in the sink and not just in the sink, he had like his big toe out of it and the rest of the toes inside it.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And I was like, is this, I couldn't tell what was grosser, the fact that he was putting his foot juice on the dishes or putting the dish juice on his feet and on throughout the house. And you just see Paige. Paige is retreated as far away as possible in the kitchen. She's just sitting behind like some desk and she's just looking at him like, I can't do this anymore.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I know, like run. If I wasn't so lazy, I would run right now. You clearly don't have friends with babies because the kitchen sink is basically baby asshole and everybody knows it. It's like the baby bathing thing.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
They put it in the sink. They're washing it while they're making your salad. I'm like, next time we're going to a restaurant. Also, you can tell that this couple has nothing going on or that Paige really hates him because they have nothing to shoot. So we see them wake up. They go downstairs and she's like, make eggs. And the next thing you know, he's serving the eggs.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I wanted to see that whole 10 minute scene of Paige just being like.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
She was absolutely disgusted this entire time, as we all were, as we all were. So she's like, OK, well, I guess I'll ask what happened on the trip. He's like, oh, where to start? I mean, there's me and Austin. We had like a breakthrough because like I was trying to figure out what the issue was. And so it turns out like.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yeah, surely it's not that I like tried to steal our business that we've both built up for five dollars. Certainly it's nothing like that.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
He's like. Yeah, he accused me of getting sober to keep up an image. I was like, I don't think that Austin actually accused... I am so mad that I have had to take Austin's side so many times this season. It's weird. It's a weird feeling. It's unfortunate.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yeah, I don't think he said... He didn't say you're curating an image. Yeah, he did say that, right?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
No, he didn't. Austin said you're trying to act like you're this Martha Stewart person, but he didn't say you got sober because of that.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
He just said you're trying to act like... Well, no one's ever accused Craig of being sober. Yeah. Even Craig. Craig's like, guys, I'm an alcoholic.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yeah, Craig's leaving out the part that this conversation about him being sober and an addict happened while he was fully drunk on a beach.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Holding an entire bottle of fucking champagne for himself. And we see a flashback of Austin being like, Craig, this is insane right now. Craig. Craig. I feel like you have this careful curated image and now like you have to pretend like you're that. But I'm rich. Just Craig's explanation for everything.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
But wait, it worked because then the next day Austin was like, hey, do you want a soda water? So we're best friends again.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So yeah, I was finally like, no, I'm getting sober kind of because I'm an addict. Do you want a Bloody Mary to talk this over?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
so Paige is like yeah it's just so fucking weird like if one of my friends was saying like I'm trying not to drink for a couple of months I'd be like clearly you're not dating Craig I cried when I said addict like he's really trying to have a moment right now he's like hoping Diane Sawyer calls him up and is like tell me about being an addict I'm sorry, he's trying to pull a Carl.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Even with his like soft, I'm not taking it. I'm sorry, I'm taking it.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You just, you feel paper thin and like you feel powerful, but like cold, but like a piece of paper.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I've worked a long time to get paper thin and cold, Craig. Listen, you're a kind of lawyer, not a kind of judge. Do not judge me, you motherfucker. And he's like, yeah, like, I just really, like, I, like, had only talked to you and, like, my parents, and I never said it to anyone, you know? I come from a family of alcoholics.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And I bet you anywhere his mother was on that couch going, no, he doesn't. I know. Who in our family is an alcoholic, honey? Who?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So then we go over to Austin's house where his sister Katie comes over, and she's like, ugh, I guess tell me about your stupid trip. It's like...
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Well, Craig and I talked, and on the last night, he opened up to me about his struggles with addiction. It was insane. And then, I guess I should have known and seen that, because I knew that he was addicted to Adderall, but knowing he was addicted to Adderall, I didn't think he was an addict. You know what I'm saying? It's insane right now.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So we're still calling Coke Adderall now? The sister's like, I'm just trying to get the language down here.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
She's like, Yes. Sometimes you need the other person to say it for you to really understand it. Or you can just watch with your eyes and listen to them.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Watch the cocoa up their nose. That's a good clue.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yeah. He's like, you know, I just like, I've always started as an alcoholic. It's like someone like who wakes up in the morning, like pounds, pounds drinks, you know? It's like, you do that. No, like they have to do it, you know? Or they like wake up on a beach after getting kicked out of a casino or something or like, has threesomes, you know, and then magically forgets about them the next day.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Left grabbing their wieners going, that's insane, Madison! Insane right now!
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So he's like, yeah. Yeah, it was just like, it was insane. Like, we just were both crying. We're both like teary-eyed. She's like, uh-huh. Yeah, it was just like, we really buried the hatchet. She's like, so we're going to close the chapter on this topic, right? We don't have to talk about this ever again, right?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
She's like, yeah, addiction comes in all forms. Like, you can't stop cutting your hair like a Republican congressman. I mean, we all have our things.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
He's like... It was, like, honestly, like, a great moment. And, like, we told each other that we loved each other. And it was, like, nice. For, like, the first time in a long time, I felt like I was having a best friend connection with Craig. She's like, do we still get free pillows or not? Yeah.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Last time we did lines together, we put them in the shape of a heart. Like we're really back, we're back. So then we go back to Craig and Paige and Craig's like, you know, sometimes I think like me getting better. When? I'm sorry, you have not taken the journey, sir. You don't get to just zip to the final location. He's like, here's a bowl of chips, I win. No, you have to earn that shit.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So he's like, yeah, sometimes me getting better, it holds a mirror up to Austin and he looks at himself and he's like, wow, I was way hotter before. Being inspirational so hard.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yeah, being an alcoholic means you drink in the morning. Did my mother raise these people? I swear to God, I've never heard such loose, like, you're only an alcoholic. They all think that. You're only an alcoholic if you drink in the morning.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Jesus Christ. I also love Paige acting like she's like a wise, older matron. She's like, well, in my generation, we grew up knowing what an addict is.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You love her even when she is a traitor.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You were like caught drunk on TikTok. That's how it happened when I was a kid. She's like, you know, like you hear like words like drug addict and like alcoholic. You know, it means you drink all day, every day, you know, or like you beat your wife up or like you put your dog in a dress, you know, or like, I don't know, becoming a DJ in your mid 40s.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
For me, it was cyclical. Like, I would be good for a few months, and then I would go too far and realize I was actually never good for a few months.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
It's like, yeah, you're an alcoholic because your personality was totally different from one minute to the next. Or it just means I'm dating you. Because she's like, stop acting like that, Craig. I think that's what it is. That's why it's changed.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You're a traitor.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
What are you crying about? Now, you know, The Traitors is done for the season, which is very sad. You know, one thing that's really fun about watching The Traitors is that you get to watch people actively lying every single week. on your TV, and I was like, what's going to fill that void? Well, ladies and gentlemen, Jax Taylor has a new podcast.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I got to the bottom of it. Well, I got to my bottom when I could just see it on Paige's face. She just had this look on her face like I just wasn't the guy she had seen herself marrying. But to be fair, that was also the look after our first kiss.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Actually, now that I'm looking at her, that's the face she's making right now. Just like stirring her dry eggs around like.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
well I got really lucky that you were still there Paige like when I made the decision to ask for help and you were like there and ready she's like yeah and I was really lucky that you gave me a stool next to a cricket machine so that's cool too so he's like yeah it wasn't until almost losing Paige for me to actually change my behaviors she was like my rock that I crushed up in a tiny little powder sorry sorry I'm better I'm better
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You know, you do it for yourself. But, like, she's the first thing in my app. I have an app. It's like, why do you want to be sober, Paige? Dot, dot, dot. Says she's going to kill me if I have one more drink on television.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I'll always be grateful I didn't lose you when I hit my bottom. And I don't plan on going back there. And she's like... And you...
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
It's just so fun to pretend things that Paige is going to say.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Okay, here's mine. All right, if this makes you feel better, I'll hit my bottom.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Do you know when my bottom was, Craig? When every time I get on the plane to Charleston...
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
She's like, now you can lose me. You know, listen, you're not going to lose me when you hit rock bottom, okay? You can lose me right now, right at mediocrity. Just hit right at mediocrity, okay? But know that if I ever need to leave in the middle of the night with kids, they're probably not going to be your kids.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So now we go over to Madison's house where her mom has come over. You okay there?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yeah, I have to get this screenshot up of Madison's book.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Oh, yeah, yeah, get that ready.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Someone said she can't read. I think she can read. It's not that... I think she can read. I just don't think she reads, like, books. I certainly, like... I certainly don't think she reads a book called The Great Depression. LAUGHTER I mean, girl. And I get it, you know, you have bookcases and you have to fill things.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Finally, I just started buying shit from HomeGoods, you know, like, it's a metal shark, you know. It's a Buddha. The sharks come and get the Buddha. And I have a sign that says 100% that bitch right in front of the Buddha, you know. And then a couple of Harry Potter books because, you know, I'm into literature. But yeah, this is the best one. The Great Depression. The Search. Tom Clancy.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
She didn't read no Tom Clancy. She's not reading Tom Clancy. She did not do it. Okay, oh, wait.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
She has a book that just says, The Caribbean.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Tater Tots. The novel. Nobody's believing you. So, yeah, her mom's there, and they're talking about, you know, corn. That's what they talk about.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And then there you were. We finally found you. And you were ordering a three-course meal. I mean, every course was just corn, so it was pretty easy. But there you were.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
This fucking guy. I was kind of hoping he'd keep the old one with Britney, because, I mean, I never listened to that, but when they put clips on the ticky-tocky, I always crack up, because it's like, Jax, you're a piece of shit! He's like, I'm changing, you know? I'm changing. Uh... Sorry, not texting. I'm just looking for jacks. Okay, so this podcast is called In the Mind of a Man.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Then that waitress came over and you accused her of leaving off the sour cream. And you called the manager over and got her fired. Honey, we were so proud of you. We were just so proud of you.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
My daddy used to say, don't kill her spirit, just let her be what she is.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So they're talking about babies, and the mom's like, what if you have twins? And she's like, oh, hell no.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And she's like, yeah, honey, you worked hard for that body.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So now the thing that everyone loves is the big Southern charm music while everyone does things around town. So the old... And it's just Charles.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
It's just Charles being walked.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
He's like... Charles made it out of the backyard today, guys. He got to walk down the sidewalk.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Charles is walking along like he's a big dog, and then he sees a beetle and freaks out.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So, yeah, so then she talks to JT on the phone. By the way, so this Vanita saga just keeps on saga-ing. All right. Start whipping out my cell phone again. I'm like a lawyer with only an iPhone. And a storyteller. Yeah. So Vanita's latest lie. I mean, sorry. We all love Vanita. I don't want to see Vanita turn into a villain because I actually like Vanita. But she's kind of turning into a villain.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And it's hilarious. She's doing it to herself because she just keeps telling lies. This latest one is she went on Us Magazine or in Us. How do you do it? You went to Us Magazine. Inside. She went inside. Inside Us Magazine.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Okay, she told them, imagine having a girlfriend and then having your best friend spend $5,000 on you because she's saying that they went to buy that jacket and she ended up paying for it. And meanwhile, he's saying that he has some girlfriend and then why is he letting her spend $5,000 on a jacket, this and that? So he posted, the jacket I wore to the episode one horse race.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
5,000 filmed on camera. At the time, it was funny. We laughed it off, and I PayPal'd in full. And now it's another little lie I get to deal with. Almost over, ODAT. I don't know what ODAT means. But he posted the PayPal receipt, so she got caught again.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I'm surprised he called it a little lie. I thought everything was sort of like a big lie to him.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
He's like, um, we are slash were best friends, and I forgot my credit card in her call by accident. I was hobbling with a cane a few days later after Patricia kicked me in my nuts and told me to get out of this town before she burnt my house down. And I PayPal'd her back in full after she insisted I slash we... What is with the I slash we and R slash they? Get out of here.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You don't get part of our movement, sir. And not hobble me back to the car to get the car and hobble back. This is fun. Dot, dot, dot. Okay, so Vanita. Back when it was all okay, Vanita was talking to JT. She got an invite to Madison and Ryan's summer soirure. She's like, how do you say that word?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So Vanita invites JT because it's just real slim pickings down there in Charleston, I guess.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
It's like, will the whole friend group be there? Craig, Austin, Sally.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
She's like, yeah, we're shooting a TV show. It's the season finale. Are you going to be there? Will you please go with me? I've got no one left.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yeah, listen, I talked to Madison about it. She really wants you to be there because she's been wanting to have a party with a piñata. So... I'm bringing the bats. Just please come.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You know what? It's about time someone stopped and asked men what's going on in their lives.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Please do it for me. So she's like, yeah, JT can be just really wishy-washy. But like, you know, he kind of puts me in this headspace of like, maybe there's a possibility of a shot between the two of us. Vanita, we just want so much more for you. Please stop doing this to yourself. Please.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Stop it.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Stop doing it to me.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Think about how this affects me. So then we see Molly and Taylor who are going for ice cream. And they go in and get some little pup cups for their dogs.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
That sounds like a gay kink. I'm just going to say that right now. The pup cup. I was low-key stressed during this scene because they got... Okay, who else was stressed about this? I know you guys know what I'm going to say. They got the pup cups. They got ice cream scoops. They got lattes, which by the way, lattes and ice cream is sort of okay. And then they had dog leashes.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
They had so many things for their hands. Pace it out. Have the lattes after the ice cream.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Unless the entire thing is this. Then I don't want to fucking hear it. What do you want to bet his first guests are the Tate brothers?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
No, you can't pace it out. It's counter service. The minute you sit down at your table, there's 15 other fucking people there you just got off the bus and you have to sit there and wait for the next.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
They're walking across the street with their cup cups and their ice cream and their lattes melting in their hands while they're balancing. The dog's going crazy. I was like, Put something down. Don't order so much. I'm losing my mind right now.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I liked when they went up to order and Molly was like, um, hi, I'm a depressed model, so... I'm gonna go ahead, I'm gonna get a coffee and a gelato, okay? And then Taylor was like, whoa! Whoa, girl! It's the first time we've ever seen Taylor's face move in the entire run of... She was like...
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
She learned how to move it in the Bahamas because they showed that clip of her. They were playing some game at night and it's like, oh my god, Taylor has a personality again. Or for the first time. I don't remember that. What'd she do? They were in a bed and she was like, ha ha ha ha ha. They're like, look, she left.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
They were playing around and she was being funny and they're all like, she was laughing and they were laughing with her for once. It was weird. Yeah.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Uh, so yeah, they're spilling shit everywhere. And so they're talking about boys, you know, and, uh, Molly's like, yeah, I slept through therapy. So I feel like Molly sleeps through therapy a lot. Just don't call the therapist. Just save yourself the time. Save yourself the guilt. I sleep through not going to therapy, you know? And I wake up and I say, fuck, that was better than fucking therapy.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Thank you.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I'm imagining what her voicemail was for her, uh, her therapist. Like, uh, Hi, you've reached Molly. I'm out getting a pub cup. Leave a message after the beep.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I think they're booked with James Kennedy.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Sorry, I'm not going to meet. I'm not going to be able to meet for therapy today, but I do have goals. I'm going to carry a latte, a pub cup, a gelato, and a fucking dog at the same time.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So basically they sit down and they're like talking about the vacation, like have you recovered and everything. Yeah, and she slept through therapy. And then they start talking shit about Shep, which is kind of fun because I mean, it's not like high level shit talk, but it was like a good try and I supported it because Molly's like, Shep was probably crying in the ocean about Sienna. Oh my God.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And then Taylor's like, yeah, he probably added like five feet to the ocean because his tears.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yeah. It's like so many tears. It's a start. So many tears. It's like an audition reel. Yeah. And she's like, yeah, everyone was really trying to get me to get with Shep. It's so embarrassing. And it sounds like two actors sitting at a commercial audition, and they're like, oh my God, I heard this commercial shoots in Afghanistan. What are you going to do if you get it?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yeah, James Kennedy took a picture with the Tate brothers, and then everyone's like, James Kennedy, Jesus Christ, you're already in trouble for abusing your girlfriend, and now you're hanging out with the sex traffickers, you know? And he's like, I didn't mean to.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Well, I guess I'm going to fucking go to Afghanistan. That's how she's talking about dating Shep. Every time they show her talking about dating Shep, she's like... Yeah, Shep's really cute. And I think he's really sad about his girlfriend. So that's something. It's like, girl, just don't take the job. Wait tables for a while. You know what I mean? Sometimes it's not worth it.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And then... They're going, no, yes, yes. That's how it is on this show. That's the audition process. They make you bang one of these people on the show. Nobody needs that in their life. It's over. Walk away from these men. I want a whole season of these men having to masturbate and get turned down by everybody. Do you guys remember when they went to L.A. on a guy's trip?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
How the women reacted to them? I need a season of that.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
They were just like... They're like, whoa. So speaking of these handsome devils, we then go over to Shep's house where he walks in with his bag and he like unpacks a bunch of seashells, which... Try to contain yourself, ladies. I know. Stop throwing the panties at the stage. I know that got you so excited right now.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
At first, when I read this back, I was like, his dad died? Like, I didn't remember his dad dying. His dad is named Rip. So, and I love every time he talks to his dad. The dads on this show are so universally disappointed. It's so fucking funny. Austin's dad is just shit-faced at this point every time they sing. He's like, welcome home, son. His mom's like, oh, God, Austin, what you do now?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I just thought they were someone famous. I don't know. I saw him in a picture one time. And then the next day, the Tate brothers posted, that fucker begged us for hours for a picture.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Then we've got Thomas Ravenel's dad. He's like... You stupid son of a bitch. I gave you everything.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Everything. So now Shep is telling his dad, rip. He's like, gosh, I just got back from Cuba. So did you guys see in the news today that Cuba suffered a nationwide blackout, the entire power grid? The power grid did not fail. That was like, oh God, we think Shep is coming back. Everyone's turning off the lights. Everyone's like, oh God, he's coming back. Don't we have an embargo on these people?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
The nation has suffered an outage of welcome mats. There are just no welcome mats left on any doors.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Shep, go home. So his dad's like, how'd the Bahamas go?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
He followed our plugs around that whole club. There's probably someone very confused in the audience that's like, the Tate brothers, did they invent the tater tot hot dish?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Well, you know, some things happen and you just have no control over it. It just wasn't meant to be. So you just got to move on. Kind of like my hopes and dreams for you, son.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
All right, son, we've talked about that.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
It's a tapestry.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Well, you've got a full summer ahead of you. I would suggest going back to Cuba and saying something anti-presidente.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So back in the bench of melting ice cream cones, it's Molly and Taylor. And Molly's like, I mean, this whole Shep and Sienna thing, like, I'm not, like, in love with Shep or anything, but I've been told if I want to stand this show, I should be, so... Yay. He's hot, sort of, right?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And she's like, I know I cried that day that he cried about that girl, but I got my period. So I like literally would cry about anything. You know, not that Shep's done anything to make me feel stupid. It's just everyone else in the group. Listen, hanging out with this group should make you feel intelligent.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
In the mind of a man, live 2025 with Jax Taylor. What do you think he's talking about?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I think if you're hanging around these people, the best thing that could happen is just feeling like, I know words, right?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
My favorite is when they talk shit about Shep right in front of Taylor, because Molly's like, I mean, it's Shep. He's a disaster. Everyone can see he's a disaster. No one would date him in the first place. He's disgusting. I mean, I lose respect for anyone who'd spend more than 10 minutes with him. Am I right? And Taylor's like, yeah.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
What, was I saying something? Molly says that regarding Shep, she's not gonna put any eggs in that basket. I'm like, you better not, because he has very violent reaction to eggs.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You better put those eggs in the freezer and don't let them out until you change cities. That's what I'd suggest. So she's... Sorry, I got lost. So Taylor's like, yeah, you know what? Like, meet someone organically. Like Gaston.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Hi, Minneapolis. Oh, my God, you guys. Wow. We're so excited to be here. Hi. So good to see you guys. I lost my nipples flying in here. Yeah. I lost my nipples and my nuts. My nuts are in my throat. My nipples are on the street somewhere. How do you live like this?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Molly's like, fuck all these men.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Just go somewhere where there's TV cameras, organic TV cameras, and find out who's single. Boom. Or not. So Sally, now we go to Sally. Sally's kind of my new favorite, and I don't really know why, because she really doesn't do much except like... I don't know, admit to blowing people and stuff, but that's my kind of girl. What can I say? I really like her.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Let's see, cocaine, yes.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I like that she's like, I'm a robot surgeon. And people are like, she checks the robots. She makes sure the robots are working. I'm like, that counts. Leave her fucking alone. Stop diminishing her accomplishments.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yeah, and I like that her mom is like, what's her name? Julie Haggerty from Airplane, you know? Because the... Because they're riding along. She's like, well, time for me to get the implants out.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Oh, he doesn't do that anymore. Oh, and I can tell you right now, I'm not ready for this new season of, oh my God, Jax hasn't done cocaine in a week. We all have to be nice to him. Fuck you. I haven't done cocaine in five years and I didn't get shit. And neither will you.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
She's like, thanks, Mom.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Really? That's how you read it? Because I read it like her mom's like super pissed. Because she's like, oh, Mom, I can't wait to get my implants out. And her mom's like, oh, God, they were so pretty. Like her boobs before. She was mad that she got implants. And so she's like, well, I'm going to get it back. Well, good luck with that. can you go back to heaven? God, what a pair of cans you had.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And then look what you did. You just threw them down the drain. She's like, sorry, mom.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So Sally tells the whole story about how she got these implants to please her ex-fiance. And at first she liked them, but then, you know, she didn't like them anymore. So now she wants them out. So she goes to this plastic surgeon and he is like, you know, he's going to do his examination. So she opens up her shirt and he's looking at them and he goes... Wow, your breasts are great.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
God damn it, you've got nice cans.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
He's like, God damn, normally I sail across the channel, but this time I want a motorboat.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
The weirdest part was when Lexi from Summer House showed up and was like, guys, this is like my biggest insecurity. And all the time that we have seen these exams on Bravo, because Lord knows they happen every other week, We have never seen a plastic surgeon get such an obvious on-screen boner.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
He did. I know. I was like, wow. It's like, goddammit, your tits are nice.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I mean, this is like taking a knife to a Picasso.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
They always said, do what you love and the money will follow. Am I right, toots? So she opens her blouse or whatever, and her boobs are out. And I learned so much about boobs. And so she's like, I mean, you wouldn't think I ate there for the first six years of my life, am I right? Is that weird? JK, JK.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
But she opens her blouse, and she's like, I just don't like that they're always looking in different directions, you know, because they're like that. And he's like, they're not supposed to face forward, honey. No man wants a pair of eyes staring at him. Check, please. So she's like, you know, I never should have gotten these implants, but I made a mistake. And her mom goes, we all make mistakes.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
By the way. I feel like the first episode is going to be called Work in Progress. Like, guys, I'm just a work in progress, you know? I make mistakes. It's just what a guy is. It's so hard, you know? The women, you know, they want so much from you. I'm just a guy, guys. Just a guy. Just a guy.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Speaking of mistakes, we now go to Craig and Paige. Thank you. And he has given her a beverage in a can that's in a koozie, and she's like, wow, a koozie. You know, I never even heard of these before I met you, and now they're all over my apartment. He's like, I know, pretty cool, right? That wasn't a positive thing.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
They're only in my apartment because the trash man refuses to pick this trash up. So he's like grilling hot dogs. And she's like, so when is Austin coming? I'm about to die of boredom. And he's like, he's on his way. We haven't hung out since becoming friends again in the Bahamas. So he comes over. And she goes, I'm just going to ask, what does quality time mean?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Because normally when men get together for quality time, wars ensue.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So she's like, oh, wow, you guys are matching in stupidity. So they were all saying hi and everything. Wow, this is insane. I haven't seen this backyard in forever since I was here three weeks ago to tell you you never invite me over to your backyard. Yeah.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
He's like, oh, you don't even love me, Paige. You haven't seen me in 10 weeks. And she's like, I don't date you. It's bad enough hanging out with one moron that I actually date, okay? So she's like, do you want to see our bees? Otherwise known as a weapon. Hold on. Put some of this honey on your face.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You can see Paige is so horrified that Craig actually went through this beekeeping situation. She's like, I am not going to take care of those bees for the rest of my life. It's bad enough that I have koozies. I don't need bees.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So Craig's like, the reason I got these bees is just to show Paige what a real woman is like. She's really goal-oriented. All she cares about is family. Paige is like, my God, fucking kill me right now.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yeah, well, then she flies off and she rips their dicks off their body, and I'm going to implement that into our culture.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So then Craig's like, welcome back to the yard. Have you seen me turn on fireplaces with my phone? I saw Craig, Jesus.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
It's insane, Paige. I just haven't talked to him forever. It's like, I hear you're coming to town and I'm just like sitting here, I don't get to see you. And she's like, well, my loyalty is to Craig for now. So he put his foot in the sink. You have about 10 minutes left in this relationship.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So I heard you and Craig made up and acted like pussies together. How was that? He's like, God! God! Jesus Christ, Paige! And Craig's like, uh, no, I guess that was funny. He's like, yeah. She's like, yeah, crazy real pussy, huh? And they're like, ha ha ha, Craig, Craig. Austin and Paige realize they really do like each other because they both hate Craig.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And you know how on Fox News they have that sound effect? I know because my parents watch it. Don't judge me. They have that sound effect that between stories they go, whew. And it's literally just like Megyn Kelly in the back going, whew. It's going to be like that on Jax's podcast. And next, in the mind of a man.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Does anyone have a towel? I have a lot of saliva on my face now. I'm never going to ask him questions again.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Have you asked her how she feels about standing inside a car wash every time you say a sentence? Question.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Whoa, we did say the L word. Well, to be fair, lesbianism would be more attractive to her after a couple of months with you.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So she's like, yeah, okay, well, you don't have to do that.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
What? It's like, what's wrong with my dreams?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
He's like, yeah, I'm not even going to think about that until the two year mark, you know? I'm not going to even be like, hey, hey, why do you think I'm moving here? I mean, the best thing is having a girlfriend who's not even here. She can't see me.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Oh my God, Craig and I have been dating for like two and a half years. And like, so like right when we started dating, he was like, are you going to move? And I'm like, I've known this man for six months. It's ridiculous. And the answer is, and always will be, no, I will not move.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
But is it so weird to talk about your dream of children like six months in? He's like, yeah, we talked about that. She wants four, dude, four.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Wow. Paige, Paige wants three kids. No, I don't want three kids. I want to go to three Zara sales by the end of the year.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I want two, Craig. You don't listen to me. And he's like, but you said if we don't have one of each, though, you'll keep trying until we have a girl. That's why I only froze my boy sperm.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You know, when I'm with him, I've, like, noticed that, like, things are, like, not as calm and as cool as he makes it seem. Like, did she just, like, snap at him a bit, or is he just, like, annoyed with her? Like, I'm gonna be honest, they're, like, so on opposite sides of the spectrum of life. Wow, congratulations, Austin.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You looked at Craig, you looked at Paige, and it took you three years to realize that. Welcome to the rest of America.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Paige is improvising, hanging herself in a noose, and Austin's like, I don't think she liked him. You know what my favorite thing to do with Paige? Is to make fun of Craig. Am I right, Paige? And she's like, yeah, we're so good at it. But best of all, it's just so easy. You know, they just roll off your tongue.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You know, you guys are the only ones who thinks that funny, okay? It's not funny. It's not that easy, okay? She goes, um, not easy. I'm sorry. Are you trying to remember what a spatula does again?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And now, guys, out of nowhere, a serious racial storyline. Here we go.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Southern charm, the most racist shit I've ever seen on TV. Coming home to teach me about race. Can't wait. Out of nowhere.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
But wait, there's more, because if that's not enough compulsive lying for you, great news, because also joining the podcast world this week, Bryn from Roni. With a new podcast called Please See Below.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I was like, just like the episode's going, wait, what's happening now on the episode? I know.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I was like, nothing's happening in this show. I do like the implant storyline, though.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So, Leva calls up Vanita.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
How are you? I'm really busy, but I decided to check in, so how are you doing?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So, Vanita's like, oh, my God. I am distraught. I almost just drowned again, but that's besides the point. Ryan called me. I know, that is really crazy. Why would he do that? Why would he call you? Okay, he said... I need to tell you something as a friend. And I was like, he said, I was getting my hair cut and my barber was telling me. Don't eat the cookie dough.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Don't eat the cookie dough with your bare hands. That could poison you. Your dad's going to kill you.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Leva, this is serious, okay? A barber was talking, okay?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Don't do coke at work, please. Do that at home. There's no coke at work.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And then, so apparently the barber said, JT, okay, this is what the barber said verbatim.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And Levin's like, wait a minute. Lamar, take the kids, this is serious. He said to some black girl. Are you sure that that's what he said? Some black girl. Is that what he said?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yes. And also said that the name of the barber was Zachary Daiquiri. The story was really strange. It's a weird story.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I mean, that doesn't sound like JT. I know his mother. Normally, racists don't have mothers, so this is... I don't know.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
It's strange. I mean, a very polite white woman from the South saying something racist, I don't know. Insane.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I mean, you know, I don't believe that. I know JT. Like, I don't believe he speaks that way. Like, I've never heard about that. You know, you know what? There's been like so much challenge against JT, you know, but are we wrong about JT? Would he say some black girl? Would he say it? Call the barber. Do you have the barber's number? Call that motherfucker. Call him right now. Call him.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Lamar, call the barber. We're going to put you on group chat.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Lamar won't do it. Hold on. We do have a witness to what happened. Local Charleston resident, Emmy Jarrett.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Why do you have to do this to me on camera every single time? This is what I get.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So Leva's like, yeah, I mean, maybe I don't know this guy at all. I mean, I've hung out with him like seven minutes total this season. We've all seen it. But you know what? I don't know Ryan at all either. So I don't know. Maybe I need to call with JT. I'm not good with the game of telephone. So what I'm going to do, I'm going to get JT.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
We're going to go to some restaurant that's outdoors so I can escape quickly. And then I'm going to kind of say what you said, but I'm going to make it sound a lot worse, which is nothing like the game of telephone, which I absolutely fucking hate.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So then it's like, dun dun, 30 minutes later. I'm like, why is this episode so serious all of a sudden?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And why does nobody on this show have anything to do? It's like, meet me for toast. I've got some tea. I'll be right there.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
All right, sit down. Did you get your waffle tots?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So JT has no idea what's about to come his way, which is funny because he thinks he's going to do a happy-go-lucky JT scene. He's got all his banter ready. He's like, well, I think I still have PTSD from the Bahamas. You heard I left early, right? Should we make that a thing? Make it a storyline, right? What do you think?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Bunny picked out a new coyote. Want to talk about it? She's like, sit down, stupid. So how have you been?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Oh, you know, hey, did you hear about what happened in the hotel room with Vanita? You want to talk about that? That was awesome, right?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Well, I mean, I did hear a little. Like, Vanita gave me kind of the lowdown about the Bahamas. She told you about what happened in the room, right? The hotel room? She goes, yeah, I assumed it wasn't the fucking conference room of the hotel, JT. Yes.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
He's like, well, there's definitely chemistry and attraction. She's like, JT, I'm not trying to prolong this storyline. We have something else to talk about. He's like, no, no, let's talk about Vanita some more. She's like, okay, here's the thing. I didn't know you had a full-fledged girlfriend, JT.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
He's like, well, you know, I mean, there were definitely flirtatious bobs that were probably, I was probably a mess-up bob, and maybe I shouldn't have eaten her branzino. But, you know, it was a real comfy couch.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Listen, I'm not trying to demonize you, okay? You're enough of a gargoyle as it is. You don't need my help. What I'm trying to say is, well, she called me yesterday and said, do you want me to come to the swerver? And I was like, what the fuck is a swerver? You know, I just have to process things after the Bahamas. I was maligned. I was maliciously maligned at it. It hurts.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
That's nice. There's more stuff. There's more information that you should know about. I don't want to perpetuate something if you didn't say it, but I also want you to know what's being said. And what's being said is that Republic is the best fucking bar in the South. It's not my fault that it's such a fucking good bar and club.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
See, like, look. I mean, look, the gay guy, Ryan, goes to the same barber as you. He does? He's the only guy who deals with plugs that well. So, yeah, he goes to the bar, and he said that you said verbatim, verbatim, there's some black girl trying to get me to break up with my girlfriend, and Vanita's like distraught, okay? And he was... And she's distraught.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And you know, like verbatim, you said some brown girl or some black girl or something.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
No, no, no, that sounds racist. It's like, yeah, that's why it's being brought to your attention.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
That's why we're talking about it. You think Leva does toast with everybody?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And yeah, I mean, she was just like, I thought we were real friends. He's like, yeah, I mean, we are, we are real friends. God, I'm sorry that she thinks that. Like, this is yet another time where words are being put in my mouth and I have nothing but respect for, what was her name again? Vanita. Vanita.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So her poster is her sitting cross-legged in black tights and a white turtleneck going like this. And then her podcast page is just filled with different weird pictures of her. And one of them is literally this.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
The fact that Ryan has trolled me is extremely offensive. You're going to call me a racist behind my back to someone I actually care about on top of that? That is so ugly. It's so sinister. It makes my blood boil.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Damn, JT. He's like, I will never see that barber again. I say, I say, I say. A line cut from Gone with the Wind.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I shall never see that barber again.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And I will never see Ryan again until he walks that shit back because this is absolute bullshit. This is not how I roll, especially because I got that limp and stuff.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Who's the barber? Call the barber. Do you have his plug? Call him. Call him right now. Just do it. Just do it. It'll be fun. It's going to be amazing. All right. It's like...
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Chucky's special will make you look like a fucking doll for 50 bucks. Come on in, last till Monday.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Welcome to Mediocre Sam's.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Hey, I need you to do me a monumental favor. More than the beaver working at a bank look you requested? Because that was a weird cut to ask for, honey.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So... Your other client, Ryan, says, this barber said that JT said that some black girl on the show is making me sound like a racist. Can I just ask?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And it's trying to ruin your relationship, say that part. I mean, come on, don't make me call him.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yeah, all that. Can I just ask, did I ever use the word black or some sequence of words like some black girl or girl black some or girl... Girl black some, girl black... Did I recite the lyrics to Black Ol' Son? Did I ever talk about Garcelle's hit movie, Black Girl Missing?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
That's the name of the first episode. It's just a creaking door opening.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Number 36 is on its way out. On small screen soon. So he's like, no, when you were getting your hair cut for me, I said, how does it look? You said, make it look dumber. I said, okay. I just started stapling away. I say, what's going on with that TV show? I can absolutely not believe that they would cast a two-foot-tall person to be on.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And you said there's a love interest with a cute little black girl on the show named Vanita, and that's the gist of it, hon. That's all I said. I mean, there wasn't really much context else around that. Now, you know, I might have fucked that up because I am articulate or nothing. That's the best defense ever. I'm so sorry. Maybe I said it wrong. I'm just not articulate.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
It was a messy barber, let's be honest. He's like, if it was off or something, if I relayed it wrong, just blame Chelsea. Okay, she's the messy one here. Chelsea.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Are you having fun with those Southern Charm people? Tell them something for me. You're all pussies. I miss her, Chelsea.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
JT, after making that proclamation of, I will never, ever go back to that barber, now he says, well, you and I are good.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Keep that glue gun warmed up, because I'll be there soon. So he's like, all right, no problem, talk soon. So Lev is like, oh my God, I'm so glad you did that quickly, because it was a lot, and I really want to go.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So JT's like, Vanita's not some girl. She is someone that matters to me deeply. I mean, not enough to fuck, but enough to pretend to fuck while I have a girlfriend on the side. You know what I'm talking about.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
So what do you think happened with this JT and the barber thing?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I don't know. I think they were just messy people and... I don't know what goes on in barbershops in Charleston. I'm just going to, I'm going to let that stay there. Really?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You don't know what happened? I think he probably said, oh, there's this real cute black girl on the show. There's a love interest there. My girlfriend's going to kill me. And then Ryan heard it was like, he said some back girl.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And they're like, ah, ah. Here's the thing, to me it does sound like it probably was telephone, that JT said one thing, the barber then relayed one thing, then Ryan heard another thing, and then it just was a game of telephone. But also, it's Southern Charm, so I have no idea what's going on. So I'm just gonna be like, well, we'll just see. We'll have to see how that one unfolds.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
You'll have to wait, because then next week, we see in the previews, Ryan's like, I'm telling my side of the story. It's Ryan's big moment. Freaking out. So we see Vanita in bed and JT calls her. He's like, hey, now listen, I met with Leva and I am still shaking. And I don't know if you talked to her or not, but I'm upset. You know, you're just, it's, I'm just, it's horrible. And I'm upset that...
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Can't wait. Can't wait. So excited. All right. Well, today we're here to talk about Piper Ness.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
you got hurt and insinuate, I mean, what's going on? And Leva's hurt because her husband's black. And you know, I go like, I'm going like, this hurts and you're hurting and you're black and he's black. There's just so many black people around here. What am I supposed to do?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
She's like, okay, just stop saying black. Cause you were just let off the hook. And I feel like you're about to fall on the hook again. He's like, I know. This is sick, man.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yeah. And scene. That brings us to the end of Southern Charm.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Thank you, Minneapolis, for coming out tonight. We love seeing you, and we will see you at the next show.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Get your ass out of this chair. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I go, you go, we all go for Hugo.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Hava Nagila Weber.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Mannock's door. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Deeb. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Honey, scratch my arm. You need your family. That feels good. That feels good. Did you guys watch White Lotus? Yes.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yes, we canna, it's Savannah.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Oh, well, we're going to talk about some very decent people today. Also from the South.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I can't be around that behavior. I'm a leader of industry now. Pillow industry.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Miss Patricia, I've given all my friends a cane, and I'd like you to have one also.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Why would I need another cane? I've already got one with batteries in it to shock Randy. Watch.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
It's cold. It's cold, but we love coming to Minneapolis. Yes. In Minnesota.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Miss Pat didn't like the cane and Madison's husband called me to make sure there was no hanky panky going on on our friend trip.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Madison, JT called Patricia a bitch and said you were trying to have an affair with him.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Uh-huh. You said Miss Patricia was hooking on King Street and Madison was pregnant with Randy's baby.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
We love coming here. You guys have such a good art scene here, and everyone is so nice. I mean, nice to the degree that I get pissed off when they're not overly nice. We were checking in, and the guy's like, oh, your honors, what's your honors number or whatever? So I gave him my member number. And he's like, you have three different accounts. And I was like, oh, well, that sucks.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Did someone fart?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Shep. Oh, amazing Megalodon teeth in the audience, everyone. Okay, everyone.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Amazing. That's huge. Thank you, Ro H. Dalcy and Ro H, I couldn't hear you very well. Sorry, but thank you.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Hey, hey, I am sick of this group always leaning into slander and rumors. By the way, Taylor, your boyfriend made out with about five different girls in this room, just so you know.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Hi, I'm Molly.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And he's like, well, you can combine them. And I was like, great, do that. And he's like, here's your numbers. Call customer service.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I'm also a robot engineer who hates her implants.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
I don't even care if Madison stays on this show as long as she continually does the voiceovers. That's all I really need from this show. You may think nothing happens on this show until you watch that.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
By the way, we have to give a shout out before we start this recap. We have some super premium sponsors here. We have Jamie, she has no last name-y.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yes, girl.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
All right, let's get going. So we start off with everybody unpacking after that tumultuous trip to the Bahamas.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And I was like, what has happened to this town? I don't know. When I checked in, they just gave me a complimentary tater tot hot dish. So I don't know what happened to you.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
That's literally all we said to each other all day. Ben finally got caught up on White Lotus and we just gone, Popper, no!
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Let your brother make a protein shake. So Austin is unpacking, and he has a spot on his green sweater, and he's like, Jesus, this is insane right now. And then he smells it. I'm like, oh.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Imagine how everybody who's ever talked to Austin feels.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Yeah. If that stain appears after a night in Austin's room, you're not sniffing it, okay?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Molly's unpacking with her dog Zoe. She's like, hey Zoe, I feel so obese today. So hard being a model who likes cookies, am I right?
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
And then we see Taylor. Taylor's like carrying out quietly and she's like, well, I cannot believe they were so rough with my luggage. It's luggage. It's supposed to be thrown around.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Also, you dated Shep. You've stood up for that luggage more than I've ever heard you stand up for yourself.
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#2764 Southern Charm S10 E14 Live in Minneapolis: Barber of Say-villain
Well, she literally loves a man with baggage. So, Rodrigo finds a $500 poker chip in his luggage, which I genuinely felt bad about. I was like, I don't know, for like one moment, I was like, guys, we have to stop this show. We have to figure out what to do with this chip.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Danielle, your body language isn't great. Danielle's like, what am I doing?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
It's not even like, it's like competing with me, all right? It's just like, it's a competitor. It just hurt, you know? It hurts that he's competing with me. Does that make any sense? No, it doesn't. I broke down crying. I cried after we had a text exchange. I sobbed.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I'm just saying it felt like you stabbed me. It felt like you stabbed me.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Have you ever been stabbed before? Do you want to be?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
All right, look, look, look. I just don't want to be in the middle, okay? It's like being fashion meat between two poorly dressed buns. I want to be your friend. You're a whiny, entitled alcoholic that refuses to grow up. In another timeline, I'd probably be dating you right now.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
But yeah, I'm going to talk to him. If he genuinely doesn't understand, I've got a detailed pie chart to go over with him. I'll cry in a way that he understands.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Oh, wow. You've stopped sobbing. Do you need to make a wee-wee before we go? We're in your bathroom. The earth.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I hope you have an outie. Outies are fucking hot. Oh, thanks, Jesse.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah, but I can kind of see where Lexi's coming from. Because Jesse's like, wow, nice cans. You guys should touch your cans to each other. You guys should touch them. Raw dog it. Yeah, pull your tits out. Just raw dog them right now.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
You measured them in kilometers? Those tits run fast.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
And then it cuts to Lexi just looking down at herself and she's like, I mean, they're talking about my biggest insecurity right now.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I cannot get behind a bullying project of this girl. This is not the Trevor Project, ma'am, okay?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Daniel's like, pageants?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
How are you supposed to potty train a kid without an outside?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
But like, wait. Fucking Danielle, okay?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
You don't live with this man and you let him put a baby inside of you?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Can we cover the Meghan Markle cooking show, please? Yes, did you guys see it?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
People hate that girl. I was watching her make toast and there were eggs being splattered on the window. I was like, man, they even found her set. They hate her.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
He's like, yeah, well, to move in together, we need to have a normal pace to this relationship. You're pregnant. You're six months pregnant. I'm like, Lindsay's like, we need to take it slow. First, we have a baby.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Then we go to coffee together. Like, damn, girl. But Danielle's still such a judgmental asshole. You know, I'm allowed to be because I'm not her friend. If that was my friend, I'd be like, you go, girl. Don't you ever marry that man unless he fucking deserves it. Why should you move in with a man? But I'm mean, so I get to say it. But yeah, Danielle sucks.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah. And Danielle's like, I mean, normal couple pace? I think, like, the ship sells on that one. I mean, like, if it's going well, like, why wouldn't you want him there physically all the time? Like, why give him the opportunity to not be there? Like, does that sound like kidnapping? It's not kidnapping if you're in love, right? Hold on, my ring cams. My ring cams. Oh, shit.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
The UPS guy is trying to untie himself. Hold on. He's really cute. We might have something going.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
So at this point, look, you're saying like you're saying if it was your friend, you'd be like worried. But if it was me and I was like, I'm going to have a baby, you wouldn't be like move in with a guy. I mean, for the baby's sake, nobody needs to see me with somebody else. I would be like a baby. Just say, do you have a maid? That's all you need to ask.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Every time you left town, I'd be like, guys, Ben's out of town today. Thankfully, little Rondal is here. Rondal.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Who's the best housewife?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Good job. Here's an M&M. Go to your room.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Like for once, I'm not moving too fast. I'm pregnant. I mean, I'm doing all the right steps. Thanks to Carl, I had a bachelorette party and then I got to plan my wedding and now I have a baby. She's actually kind of done everything right. It's just been with different people.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I don't believe in yoga, because if that shit worked, Buddha wouldn't be so fat. That's it. You think his ass was doing the down dog? No. I came to date. I was sitting next to a meanwhile on the plane. She was really cute. And she's like, I need to fit this under my seat. I said, just put it. Do you want me to put it in the overhead thing? And she's like, no, they're cookies.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Just let her have the baby. Remember, she made that to-do list.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
She was like, by 2025, I want to have a bachelorette party, I want to have a man, I want to have a baby, I want to have an apartment, I want to be an influencer, whatever the fuck. She's done it all.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
What is this game, Cam Jam? You throw Frisbees into a trash? Throw your trash into a trash. How about, let's make a game out of that, you fucking beach ruiners. Yeah.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I need more cans talk.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
He's like, you know, I mean, that girl talking to me, like, she wants to be with me, you know? It's like, really, she's jealous. Like, that kind of scares me. That really does kind of scare me. You know, when she told me she really only wanted to be with me when I was in a relationship, so I fucked her, and now I'm refusing to be in a relationship with her. Chicks, am I right?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
It's crazy. So West is like, well, she does kind of owe you, you know, after like taking my guy, you know, if I had to go to club solo.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
He's like, I'm terrified of Sierra, though. I had to. I had to sleep on the couch. Why haven't we talked about what West is wearing, by the way? Listen, I saw this teenage boy today, you know what I'm going to say, with the hair. He's got the perm and the hair coming forward. And I just walked past him and, you know, did like every older person does. I just went, fucking idiot.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
And laughed, you know? But I can't imagine being like twice that age and being like, I'm perming my hair and then I'm combing it forward. It's going to look great. You know what I should do is get a grandma scarf and tie it around my head and then put a sun hat over it. Yeah. With a sleeveless tennis sweater from 1930. Stop trying so hard. You're already youngish. You're already thinnish.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
And I was like, well... Obviously, Ronnie.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
He won't get there. Traders has too much taste. They're going to be like, no, ew. Alan will take one good look at that fashion and be like, it knew. First move that Alan commits.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Jesus. Every round table, he'd be like,
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I was like, no one's going to eat them in the overhead. And she said, no, they're important cookies. And I said, how come? And she said, because I'm going to visit my brother who has dementia. And I was like, oh. And she said, and I'm hoping that the cookies will make him remember things. Isn't that sweet? I was like, yeah.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
He'd be like, well, you know, like I thought maybe we had something, but maybe we don't have any. We're not trying to date you, motherfucker.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Oh, that's all you needed to say.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
She's so good. I listened to her podcast. Have you guys ever heard her podcast?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Love her. Check it out. Long-winded with Gabby. What's her face? Okay. My lady is so long. I was like... For me, it's like a horror show and a podcast. I love it. I've learned so many things. Okay, so Jesse's still having his heart-to-heart with Wes, and he's like, you know, it's just so weird, bro. Like, you're just so secretive now. And he's like, do you think I'm losing myself?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
And he's like, no, you're still cheesy and badly dressed, you know? It's just that gaslighting women is more fun when it's a team sport, bro. Don't leave me here alone.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I was like, sorry, I jammed the lock. I just didn't want any guys trying to get out.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Every time I take a peanut M&M out of my belly button, I'm like, I remember that Amy Grant concert. I totally remember. So I was like, that's so sweet. I hope he remembers them. And she's like, yeah. And I was like, they must be really good cookies. And she's like, they sure are. And then I just stared at her like... You're not going to give me a fucking cookie?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
But he doesn't even come up with original ones for everybody. He goes, Carl Beast, Jess Beast, Paige.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
So Danielle and Lindsay are talking. Oh no, sorry. Lindsay calls Turner, her guy, Turner.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
And he's like, yeah. And she's like, Danielle says hi, babe. And Danielle's like, hi, stop trying to run.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
So they're getting ready and poor Carl, you know, and I get it. Like when you're fucked up a lot of the times, you don't know how to do things not fucked up. You know what I mean? And he's still new at it and he's still learning. Thankfully, I've only ever shopped at Old Navy. So it's like the same for me wherever I go. But Carl doesn't really get that. And so he walks into the room.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
He's like, hey, everybody, ready to go out? And they're like, whoa. And Lindsay's like, um, are those Crocs?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Oh, I guess I'm just a cake eater then.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Thanks to Crocs, they're an advertiser. Love your stuff. We love the Crocs. So Jesse is now saying bye to Lexi. He's like, bye, scene of it. You're not going to come out?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah, I was in my bed. I was like setting the mood. I lit some candles. I turned off the lights. I scrolled. I threw dirty clothes on my bed. Then I was like, fuck those fucking dirty clothes. I threw them on the fucking floor after that. But then I picked him up and I put him on my bed again. And then I like fucking rolled around on him. What are you doing? Kyle's like.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
They're like, Sierra, what's your storyline this season? She's like, clothes on the bed.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
What do I... So I was like, what were we talking about? Oh...
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
So Sierra's like, what's the vibe with y'all? Because, you know, Craig's going to come.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
No. And by the way, he continues to lie about getting kicked out of my wedding. No doubt. Ooh. So he did get kicked out of that wedding after all. And to get kicked out of Kyle's wedding, Kyle probably got kicked out of his own wedding. That little guy's too drunk. Get him out.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
So you know why he got kicked out, right? Do you remember?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah, but it's really good. Okay, so they were getting married at the parents' estate or something, right? Right, in New Jersey. And so only the bridal party could pee inside, and everybody else had to go in a porta potty. And so Craig tried to go inside. I love this show. I love Craig, too. What an idiot.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
And the brother-in-law was like, no, you have to go in the porta potty. You're not in the bridal party. And so the sister-in-law's like, yeah.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
And he started yelling at the sister-in-law until she started crying and he got kicked out because he wouldn't piss in a porta potty.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
But I'm sorry, I have to interrupt you. So sorry. One more point. Let's all remember that Paige et al totally blasted Lindsay for this shit all those years ago. Never fucking forget, you know? Paige may be like cuter and more fun and funny, but Lindsay's usually right. Listen to Lindsay. I said it. I don't fucking care. And old lady already kept me from cookies today. Think you're gonna scare me?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I stole those cookies too. What if I did? What if I was like, and then I pushed that old lady down and I took a fucking cookie.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I got a fucking Biscoff cookie after that, and I just crunched it very slowly looking at her.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah. And Jesse's like, well, I mean, I need to hear Paige. What if we get married, huh? And Carl's like, oh, you and Jesse?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Whatever happened to us? She's like, I'll marry you when I want to eat on a fucking Wednesday. On a Groupon day, Carl.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
It's just really, really hard being in a closet after what Lindsay put me through. Oh, shut the fuck up. Burn the closet. So, Wes is like, so, when did you last have sex? He's like, guys, like, I just came to the house this summer because, like, I want to, like, learn and, like, be single.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
And, like, can I be honest? I looked over at Lindsay and she's the last person I had sex with. And now she's pregnant. You do the math. And they're like, wait. And I know it's been a lot of months, but I do take a while. I'm a late bloomer.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Why would you do that to yourself? I couldn't do that. I even have sex with Crank.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Uh, well, uh, just, like, emotionally, it hasn't felt right. Uh, and no one can appreciate a half a boner like Lindsey could, so... Uh, you know, other girls make partial impotence sound like a hindrance, but... Lindsey would just dance, and she would just aim and dance like nobody's watching, you know? Miss that girl. What were we talking about?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Here's an old ass Dorito.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Did anybody else Google Brazzers after that?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I mean, I felt like gay people were the perverts. That's what I always learned growing up. Like, you're perverted, you're going to hell.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I just renewed my subscription to ankles. Ladies lifting their skirts.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah, it's like been so hard having so much anger and resentment to the woman I embarrassed on national television.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
It's really rough. It's really rough, guys. So they cheers and stuff, and they're like, oh, wow, yeah, to like West getting some cuddy.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Wait, what did you say? What did you say? I didn't hear you. Oh, sorry. To Carl getting some cuddy. Cuddy? What is cuddy? Is that correct? Did I write that correct? No one here knows what it is either. We all need a browser subscription in here. We're like, cuddy!
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
That sounds like an offense that could put you behind bars.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
It's a baby fish. Gross. So now they're asking somebody else if they're dating. I don't know. And Amanda's like, oh, West.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
How many girls are you fucking? And he's like, guys, technically speaking, people just mostly make fun of my hair and my outfits. But I do have a dating show coming out on the internet. So that's something. That is not your dating life. What the fuck are you talking about? Get that scarf off your car.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
But it is actually kind of fitting, because you know everybody who goes on a date with West says that at some point. They're just like... Did you ever know, and then they're talking about how old they are, because Paige is like, oh my God, I'm so old, I've never even seen the original Hot Tua video. I saw it recently, have you seen it?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
What are you, the first person to spit? I could have been rich years ago. What the hell? I didn't know that would make you famous.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I'm so busy, I can't even wash out Chinese takeout containers anymore. It's like, you poor fucking thing, Wes. So now they're talking about Lexi and Jesse, and Carl's like, yeah, is it official yet?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah, she'd made a few comments where he took it like, you might be a jealous girlfriend, right?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Poor Amanda. She needs that. She's married to Kyle. She needs all the validation she can get. Sad but true. I'm going to start commenting on her photos. She's like, I'm selling these nice new sweaters for Christmas time.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Like, has she called you Cocaine Jessie yet? Or, like, suggested you'll never have an idea that's profitable?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
So Jesse's like, yeah, guys, you know, I thought I'd be leaving this weekend exclusive with her, but I just don't know anymore. Shut up. Why are you acting like that with her then? When you're around her, you're like, I don't want to look at anything but you and your juicy booty, baby. We're going to be together. We're going to be together. And then he gets away from her. He's like,
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Fucking stalker. Get away from me, guys.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
So Sierra's like, hey, Paige, you want to do a TikTok? I'm just like, no. Do it, Paige. No talk. Come on, Paige. Do a TikTok. Dine a fire talk. Dine a fire talk. I'm not doing that shit. So Paige won't do it. So the rest of them do a TikTok. I'm surprised Wes wasn't there, actually, because that seems like the worst thing. Elbow dance. I'm into it.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
He brings back a little arrow. I mean, he really likes them thin. Every one of them has just looked like this.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Carl's like, hey, Casper, the ladies are in there eating some bagel bites, all right, if you want some. I'm sorry I didn't catch your name. And Emeril's like, don't worry, she'll catch plenty tonight. I guarantee it.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah, because you know they're signing those releases. They're just like, no, we're not giving you the pleasure.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
So now Lexi and Jesse are in bed, and he's like, oh, I'm going to go.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
He's like, oh. Sorry, I was trying to get into your pants. You can't really blame me for trying, right? I mean, you've got such a juicy booty.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
And they leave early, too. What is Emeril doing to these girls? Oh, no. I'm not like that. If I sleep with somebody, I'm sleeping in. I don't care where it is. It could be on a bus bench. I'll be like, give me a bagel.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Right. So Jesse and Lexi wake up and he's like, you're so pretty. Like every time I look in your eyes in the morning with no makeup, I'm like, God, this girl's so fucking pretty, but also why does her nose look like a twig? Is that in my mind?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I'm so glad when people who have ice cream don't pretend to be happy. I'm so sick of fucking happy ice cream people. We're not eating this because we're happy. We're eating it because we're fucking depressed.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Her nose is beautiful, but she contours it like this. It looks like snot dripping from her eyebrows, just down her... Well, the family that contours together stays together.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
No, that other girl, her sister doesn't contour. She just does... What's the opposite of contour? Where you're just like, make it look like one big... I believe that's called a protour. She just gets that lipstick and puts it all over her face. She doesn't care. This is my sister, Tiffany. She's like, oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. That girl's crazy-faced.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
We need more Tiffany. I want some Tiffany on this show.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Okay, so... Did you know that Lexi has a podcast with her mom and her sister called The 69 Girls? I can't.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
So on one episode, we're getting cake eater and 69 girls.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
That wasn't free. That was homemade. She should have given me that shit. She should have. I offered to put that in the bag above.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
So he's like, wait, who says I'm a boob guy? That's ridiculous. She's like, everyone. Well, no one said that Jesse's a boob guy, right? Because we see clips that prove that they didn't. But you're right. He is like, hey, nice tits. He's like, Uber's here, guys. Love your cans. Love your cans.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
He's like, it's hot. Can I put my dick on it?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Stick her ass in the dark. Lessons learned.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I could have sworn I woke up in the middle of the night and I just saw slimy footprints on the door, on the floor, and then a floating bagel bite being chopped.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Oh, that's just me, guys. That's just me, it's just Emeril. So now people go to the pool and, oh, well, first Jesse lets out a big, long two-minute fart, so.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
He's like, whoa, I wasn't even done farting and I got a text from Lexi. farting makes me insecure. Tee hee hee hee hee.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
He's playing it too hard. He's playing his whole, I'm not a douchebag anymore. I'm Carl 9.0. He's playing it a little too hard. It's a little bit too much. Fix your boner. At this point, just fix your boner. Because we already knew it was a problem last season when Lindsay's like, we've tried like seven times to have sex. And he's like, oh, it's because you don't like my idea of brick and mortar.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
You know, the first time we were here at Ludlow Garage, we did Summer House.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Oh. No one ever stopped getting boners because they were afraid of Elise. I'm just telling you that right now.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah, and we were like, people are going to hate this. They're going to bitch. They didn't hate it. They did bitch. Yeah. Y'all still bitching. But you know, how many Housewives can there be? And right when we went on tour, they were like, we're not going to show Housewives anymore.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I mean, I will never forget the moment we exchanged cock rings.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
And then I just realized, you know, I just had to fuck more people. And she was like, do it. So it wasn't for a green card, you know. And it's basically because I came here as an illegal immigrant. And Kyle goes, so what do they call that, undocumented? In this world, where you're talking to fucking Emeril, listening to this story, and you're still more embarrassing, Kyle.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
So they're shocked that this guy's actually married or was married. We don't know still, I guess. I think he's still married, but now they're just fucking other people?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah, why not? Welcome to the gay life. Okay, so... Try it. You might like it. So he's like, yeah, he really, they give him a big long monologue. It goes on and on here. And this is the cast's face. They're like, nine out of 10 of us have fucked Carl and we're still grossed out by you. I know.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I know, they thought it would be fun, you know? Because it's like the Golden Girls, like Blanche comes and she tells like her slutty stories and they're always good. But it's like if Blanche just came in and she's like, I fucked a lot of people. And just ate cheesecake, you'd be like, what the fuck is she doing?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Blanche going way too far. And Carl's like, wow, you know, I appreciate you sharing that. You know, you're like the wind to my non-working wang. It's like, it feels great.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
We've only been doing this 13 motherfucking years. I'm still letting us press the record.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
But I did vote for Obama. Never the less believe, hope. every gay guy who passed that was like, I was wondering what that was.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
It was like hope. And every time I passed it, I was like, I'll vote for you out of solidarity, but I'm not ready for that.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
By the way, anyone who watches TikTok, I learned on TikTok today, because I didn't bring my little steamer thing, that if you have clothes and you just rub them really hard with friction, it will iron the clothes. Like the heat will iron. It doesn't work. It's still flipping up. So in case anyone's wondering why I'm giving myself nip jobs, I'm trying to make myself presentable.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
All right, so they go in, and, you know, they have to order, and Paige is like, oh, this is, like, a legit kangaroo?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Like, I've tried lion before. Oh, fuck off. How do people watch Craig for five minutes and think, that guy's so cute. He ate a lion. Why are we stringing Jimmy Johns up? Get Craig.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
You can't eat a squirrel, Craig. That's a rodent. So we're penguins and we eat them.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah, it was pretty good so far. Why lie? I mean, it's a pretty good one, you know, as far as, you know, like, whorish people going around and stuff. But I do appreciate what they're bringing to the art world. Kyle is now a musician, so that's something. He's going on tour. Did you know that?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah, I'll have kangaroo and a cappuccino.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
What kind of palette do you have?
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
He'd met that if you were Italian. He's like, I'm Dutch, so I don't care. I do what I want. She goes, yeah, well, do you still listen to your parents? He goes, I'm 36 years old.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Because I'm going to be your husband, and I'm going to have a say in things. Oh, honey. No, you're not.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
And any husband standing out there really thinking that that's going to happen, fuck you, too. We don't marry you to give you a say. Fucking dumbasses.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
It's so hard when you're having a geriatric pregnancy and you're actually a geriatric.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
You shouldn't do it for your parents.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
that I designed so it sounds like you're ready for the next step and he's like I'm not ready for the next step I'm just ready for you to take off your fucking shoes and have my baby you fucking complainer I brought you a gift oh my god it's a red cape with a white hat thing thanks Craig thanks Craig but seriously listen to how he's talking he's like no I don't want anything to change but you know you can't still have a career like this once we have babies
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
You better learn to sew your fucking mouth shut, sewing down south. My God. What the fuck is wrong with him?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah. The side's like, I'd see that. They're like, fuck that.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah, but all I'm saying is like, you're like legitimately more successful and busier. which is awesome.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
He's like, yeah, I'm just saying, like, sometimes it's a bummer that we can't do stuff, like have babies and get married. And she's like, I'm sorry, I'm famous now. And he's like, well, if I was being honest, like, if you're busy for the rest of our lives, I just don't see this working out. Bye!
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Can we pack this kangaroo and this nasty-ass cappuccino up for this bad-breath motherfucker and somebody put him on a train? Thank you.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
So... I just never thought I'd be like in such a submissive relation. Really, have you not watched the past 10 years of your show? When have you not been a fucking wuss? Cut to Naomi. Craig, are you ever going to leave the house? You've been here all week. You haven't taken a shower and all you've done is stare at that stupid sewing machine. Get a fucking life. You smell.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
You've been in nothing but submissive relationships. Now put the gag back in your mouth.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
That would be nice. So he's like, I just want you to be everything you want, but then I just want you to give it up to bear my popsicle children and clean my house. She's like, gross. So it just ends. I just wish that she would have just murdered him maybe, like killed him. Slam his head down on the table. Yeah. So that's pretty much that, huh?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I thought I had more because I was about to go previously on Summer House. I wrote that all at the end. But yeah, that brings us to the end of Summer House.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Lindsay's trying to steal my soul. That brings us to the end of Summer House.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Well, the other art coming up is Carl is releasing a book. Oh, yeah. Have you heard about this?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. It's all
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yes, we canna, it's Sedana.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Oh, hate literature all you want. Carl Radke. The book is called Cake Eater. Yes. Yes. Cake Eater. First of all, no, you're not.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
It's our queen. It's Queen Laifa.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
The cover says, getting high, hitting low. And trying to stay in the middle. A journey to self-discovery. And then it's a picture of him holding a cake, sadly. He's like... And then half his face is covered in the cake. White jeans, I'm sure. I have...
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
He'd actually get laid if his jeans were made out of fucking cake.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yeah, I'd blow Carl if it was cake.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
You're so smart to put it on your computer because I just look like I'm texting. I'm like...
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Yes, thank you for coming out. Of course. They told us the Countess had just been here. Did you guys come see the Countess too? Yes.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Carl is like that Bronwyn from Salt Lake City. She can't just make a post like, look, I'm at the Golden Globes. It has to be 10 pages of like, well, like the font on her picture is this small.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
And the audience booed me. But the audience only booed her because she was standing up for Tamara. So the audience was like, boo!
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Like stood up and started yelling at everybody. And she's like, I'd like to publicly apologize to Watch Out Crap. And I was like, are you kidding?
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Uh, thanks for announcing Cake Eater. I am proud to announce that my book, Cake Eater, will be out soon. You may be asking, why Cake Eater?
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Fuck no. This side is like, no.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Why Cake Eater? I want to call the editor and just be like, why Cake Eater? Because you know she eats cake. She's like, you know who needs a book? Carl. So she's like, he says, Cake Eater, you may be asking why Cake Eater? Oh, being from the South Hills of Pittsburgh and Upper St. Clair.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Got a halfie. Let's see where this goes. Other locals will know that Cake Eater is a privileged upper middle class person who has handed everything. While I was called this many times, that wasn't my reality.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I forgot that about this venue too. It's kind of an L, it's a V shape, right? So one side feels one thing and you all feel another total different thing.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Finally a book that teaches us. You can be bullied when you're privileged to.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
All right. Previously on Summer House.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
So West, you had sex with me even though I wanted a boyfriend? And then you talk shit to me in the New York Times.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
You suck, West. Your hair is fucking stupid.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
I don't... You don't even have riz. You're riz-less. Riz-less motherfucker with stupid fucking hair. Fuck you.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Do you want some hand sanitizer?
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
So that was a little long for those husbands along for the ride.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
We're so proud of you guys.
Watch What Crappens
#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Let's go over and talk about it on the beach.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
Please. All right, look, like, I mean, sorry we're even having to have this conversation. Like, I know you're your own person and stuff, but, like, I'm in my feels, all right? Like, a lot of things were brought up last night, all right? It was, like, personal. You know, like, my business. My business was under attack. Like, I'm gonna crumble. I'm crumbling.
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#2763 Summer House Live in Cincinnati: Faptain Kangar-rude
We got here, and there was a box of Narcan from a local company to give out. Really? They're like, will you take a picture with some Narcan? I'm like, fuck yeah. I was telling him, if anybody has a peanut allergy, they're like, Ronnie, this is not an EpiCard.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappin's ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
It's gorgeous. Rebecca, will you add that to your fall line, please?
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
We'd love that. Thank you. Add it to your fluid collection, Rebecca.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Would you do us the honor of opening the envelope and saying who won? Drum roll.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
What an honor. Rebecca Minkoff, thank you for being here. Thank you, Rebecca.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
We forgot to ask Rebecca if she wanted to accept this award on Jennifer's behalf.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Do you want it? Do you want me to save it for you? Get out here. Guys, it's your collection. Hell yes, girl. Hell yes.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
All right. God. Damn, this is fun. That was fun. That was fun.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Have her removed, please. And now, please welcome your hosts, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Caron.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Can I tell you this shirt? You should sit down when you try shirts on. It's much different when you're standing like this in the mirror like... Girl, some testy buttons over here. So, okay, let's get to, okay, so this category is the most cringe. Yes. And the reason we gave it to this person is because she has the most graceful cringe face of anybody on Bravo. She cringes with class.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Hi. So glad to have you here. We ended up here on accident the same week because of Watch What Happens Live. And I'm so excited any chance I get to see you.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
I'll open Pandora's box for you. I'll bring the rock for you. We're going to own the night. How about we all go down swinging, feet to the ground singing. This beat makes me come alive because we're good as gold. Because we're good as gold. Because we're good as gold. Because we're good as gold.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
We had so much fun being on that show. It was our first time on the show, and it was so fun being on with you. You are always good for a hot take. We love having you on here, especially for the most cringe, because if anyone knows etiquette, it is Miss Patricia.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
The next day after the show, she texted me, was I good? I said, were you shit-faced? Like, how do you not remember? He's like, I don't know. What'd I say? So I told him.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Well, I'll tell you, one of the cringiest moments was when JT gave you that cane earlier in the season. That was cringe. That was awful, right? Boo. Boo. No canes.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Well, he got a bad rap, for sure. But, I mean, he is terrible, though. We watched the last episode. So, now that you know that he got a bad rap, and a lot of this is just Craig lying to you. Well, so far, it looks like Craig is lying to you. We don't know for sure. But how do you feel about all of that?
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
It's a good way to get through life. If they can run our country, they can be on our television shows. That's what I'd say.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
All right. So let's get into the category. We're going to read some nominations. This is like, I feel like... It's very professional, isn't it? We're really on top of it.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
The night is young. You remember you texted me about that too. I said, are you going to come? She said, just please don't sing and dance. I said, don't worry about it. You'll be totally comfortable all night.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Maybe by year 20, we'll get a toe touch, toe touch, toe touch, toe touch. It was a lot.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Okay, let's get into the nominees for most cringe. And our first nominee is Alexis Bellino, names herself Fun Lexi.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Karen's DUI footage, Real Housewives of Potomac.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
At a dinner on Railhouse Lives in Salt Lake City.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
And finally, Tamara announces that she's on the spectrum. A lot of really good, cringey nominees.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
That was an audible cringe from the crowd. That was a cringe. That was a cringe. All right, let's have all go. What do you think? Do you watch all these?
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Let's have the envelope and the award for Patricia to read. Thank you, Sadie. You're doing a great job.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
All right, here, you open it. I'll read it to you if you can read it.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Vanity over ocular health. I can see that. Oh, get it, get it.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Karen's DUI footage. The most cringeworthy. Yes. I love you so much. Thank you for being here and staying in town.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Thank you, Patricia Altschul. You can take it with you.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Also, Patricia never got to take home the crappy that she won a couple of years ago, so we're sending her home with this little baby version.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
I've got to tell you, I'm feeling good. This party's got me tied up. It's got me going like I knew it would. So pour more jungle juice in my cup. I got the Pandora's box for you. I'll bring the rock for you. We're going to own the night. Now that we all go down swinging, free to the ground singing, this beat makes me come alive. Because we're good as gold. Because we're good as gold.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
I'm going to wet my whistle a little bit. Do we have a bar back there?
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Do we? You're the bar? God, I love this job. Oh, so.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
In a ceremony held earlier this evening. We gave out some awards that we could not feature in the telecast. They get it. All right. All right, all right, here we go. Most felt emotion by Gina Kirschenheider. Bad.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Best existential question for 2025. How can MomTalk survive this?
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Most exotic Bravo vacation, and the winner was SLC cast goes to Milwaukee. That was very exotic.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Best furniture award goes to Rebecca Minkoff's virginity bed.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Best reason to ban clubs, clubs send it, Summer House.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Best legal announcement, you subpoenaed the wrong bitch. Margaret Josephs.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
And yes. And finally, the worst thing to discover on TV and the award for the worst thing to discover on TV is that Ariana's like totally gonna be on Dancing with the Stars and I didn't even know and she knows how much she wanted that.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Shannon, you came to my room and showed me a picture of yourself with a bloody face after your accident and it made me feel used. Still talking.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
I am a woman who had a little bit too much to drink and I clipped a house because John Jansen was mean to me. Drunk driving. Why isn't the house in trouble for drunk sitting in the middle of the road?
Watch What Crappens
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Oh, well, I will counter that and say that Tamra said that Jen's boyfriend is a criminal and he's going to jail.
Watch What Crappens
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You guys, you guys. Johnny J wants his 80 grand. Otherwise, your goose is cooked, guys.
Watch What Crappens
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We have a martini for Ms. Shannon Bedore at the bar.
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You know, the year passes and other shows happen, and I get it, but God damn it, I just didn't remember how many emotions that could bring to the surface. Really beautiful stuff. All right. Let's see. What do we have here? Okay. We've got our next category. This is somebody... Well, the category is Best Newbie. This is not somebody that is a newbie at all.
Watch What Crappens
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Because we're good as gold. Because we're good as gold. Come on, get right on, Sean.
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But... When we did our first show here in New York City, he was a newbie to Bravo, and now he's seasoned and providing alcohol for some of you here or wherever you are.
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Please welcome the sick beats of DJ Kyle Cookie Cook. Kyle Cook!
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Here you go, Kyle. Welcome. Welcome back to the Watcher Crappin' stage. It's good to be back.
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Kyle, I don't want to attack you with harassment right off the bat, but you're cute on TV, but god damn, boy. Oh, thank you. Do you miss the mullet? No, I do not miss the mullet.
Watch What Crappens
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No, we will do it for you because it's five-star service. This is a full-service situation up here. This is a full-service situation at the Crappies.
Watch What Crappens
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How are you doing here? How was your season? You're done, yeah?
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Yeah, it's really, there's a lot of people here, and it's crazy, and it's actually really good that we can't see anything. Ronnie, Ronnie, it's not, you don't have to chug it. It's like childhood all over again. So Kyle, we remember, was anyone here at that first show at Gotham? Yeah. That was our turning point in the Krappens timeline, and you were there for it. Do you feel honored? I mean, wow.
Watch What Crappens
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And I was honored to be a part of it. You were a part of that. That was so much fun. How's it going DJing? You're DJing actually a lot, right?
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By the way, can you tease anything for the upcoming season of Summer House? Anything we could look forward to?
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It's all happening. It's all happening. It's all crappening.
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All right, let's get into the category. And the category is Best Newbie.
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We're done in eight and nine. Come on and touch my body. Let's have a good time.
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Okay. Yeah, here it is. This is your paraphernalia. Thank you, thank you. Okay. Do you want to read the first one, Kyle? All right. You can read all of them if you want.
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Yeah. I'll do the next one. I'll do the next one. Britney Babin. OK.
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I love Kyle's retconning in the audience. Broadway!
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Broadway Newport, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
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And Taylor Frankie Paul from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives snuck her way in there.
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Yeah, it's a little off-brand. All right, any predictions on who do you want to win?
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You can't give people the win because they moisturize Kyle.
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I haven't seen the edit. Okay, listen, listen. We all know Jesse is due for a fuckboy season, so I'm ready for it.
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Then what happens? And then it all goes downhill. They drag you. They drag your ass. We love it. Season two is where it's all at.
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All right, may we have the envelope, please, for Best Newbie. Oh, here it comes.
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Unfortunately, Bronwyn is not here to accept this award. Would you like to accept it on her behalf?
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Because we're good as gold. Because we're good as gold.
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Amanda's going to love it. You got to tell Amanda, hi. So now here we are. God, that jacket was so soft. Whatever animal they killed for that was just, you want to talk about well moisturized. That cow really wears its noxzema at night. All right, next up is best quote. Guess who the guest is. Nobody, because who needs them? It's us.
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All right, this is one of our favorite, favorite categories for obvious reasons, because we love doing these every day in our lives. And also because all of these categories are now opened up to you guys. So we gather most of these nominations from you. You answer us online or whatever. So I'm extremely proud to present your nominations for Best Bravo Quote.
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Best Bravo Quote. All right. Why don't you start? Yeah.
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CEO and founder of what? Paige DeSorbo regarding Danielle Oliveira's Summer House.
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Miss Angie Katzenavis, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
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Shannon Bedore, Real Housewives of Orange County.
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And finally, thank the Lord she took them bangs with her. This is Audrey Hepburn, not the Flintstones, Mary Cosby, Salt Lake City. May we have, oh, here she is.
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Hello and welcome to a very special episode of Watch What Crappens. It's the 2025 Golden Crappie Awards. Guys, we recorded this live in New York City at Town Hall on February 1st, 2025. What an amazing night. We had such a great time. Everyone who came out to support us, all the guests who came on stage. and performed and just lent their personalities and their talent to this.
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In a ceremony held earlier this evening. Oh. We actually have to give a winner. Oh, we actually have to read envelopes as well.
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I forgot about that part. All right. You're all winners in my mind, quotes.
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All right. And the winner, we want to say this together, the winner of best quote is High Body Counter, Angie Katzen Davis, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
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Angie was not here to accept her award tonight, so it has been thrown at an audience member's head.
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And now, in a ceremony held earlier this evening... The following awards. Outstanding Achievement in Cinematography. Miss Brittany Bateman, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
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Outstanding Achievement in Hug Direction. Carl Radke for Hug Me Harder. Harder. Do it harder.
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Outstanding Achievement in Animal Welfare. Lisa Hochstein throwing chicken at dogs in Mexico. Yeah, yeah.
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Oh, this is a nice one, guys. Most heartwarming storyline. This actually comes from the Real Housewives of Dubai. Sarah's housekeeper tries to abduct her son and winds up getting deported. It just touches the heart. It touches the heart.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
It's the first almost child abduction story. Yeah, a real innovator. From a maid that we've ever seen. Yeah. Most terrified cast member, the deer on Potomac. I mean, that was easy. They win every year, so we just moved them to earlier.
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This is an award that means a lot to me. Outstanding achievement in food criticism. And it goes to Lisa Barlow for declaring that the food in Italy is too fresh.
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And finally, the best da? Foo-da! Foo-da! Foo-da! Foo-da! Foo-da!
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Congratulations to all the winners. Congratulations! Wow. Isn't this wild? I can... I'm sorry. I need, like... Okay. I just... I cannot believe that you guys all have come here to see us at Town Hall. Can you believe this, Ronnie?
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Love you. And of course, please welcome our pianist, Brandon!
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Do you mind if I have a moment to reflect? For Christ's sake, can I pee? Yeah, you can go pee. I'm going to reflect. All right, you reflect. You know... I've just been thinking about how... Back in like 2007, 2008, before all this started, TV was so different, right? You had The Sopranos, you had Mad Men, you had Breaking Bad. It was all like peak TV, right?
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And everything was like winning enemies. And like, don't get me wrong, I watched all of that. I loved it. I loved all of it. But then one day, one day I changed the channel. And I found myself driving down the Pacific Coast Highway in a rented Bentley through the sparkling gates of Cotto di Casa. It was actually the first time I had seen The Real Housewives of Orange County.
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And I will never forget how that moment made me feel. Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. I want to see more TV starring people who have no shame. Too trashy to air on Disney. Too lowbrow for HBO. It's time to trust my instincts and surrender to Bravo. It's time to try defying good TV. I think I'll try defying good TV. And I'll start with SLC.
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Oh my God, that was terrifying. I don't know how Sheena does that. Girl. You know... We love you. You guys, we love you so fucking much.
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I'm through accepting prestige, cause someone tells me so. They say below deck's shitty, but till I watch, I'll never know. Too long I've been afraid of losing cred, I guess I've lost. Well, if that's cred, it comes at much too high a cost.
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Watching fights and lies, defying good TV. Guys, it's so much better than The Bear. I mean, The Bear is a comedy. Have these people even seen Roni? I mean, not this season, not this season. I hope I'm happy now that I've chosen trash I hope it brings me laughs I really need to go see what's good with Mary Cosby I hope it's crappy in the end I hope it's crappy full send
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As Andy Cohen told me, everyone deserves a chance to humiliate themselves on TV. And if I'm watching Vanderpump, at least I'm watching free To those who mock me, take this pumptini back from me Tell them how I'm defying good TV Laughing while they cry, defying good TV And soon I'll be breaking down And no housewife who's been on pause, no lawsuit there is or was, is ever gonna bring Bravo down!
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
And to be able to be here... This is the biggest crappies we have ever done. And no award show would not be complete without a little Miss Golden Crappie. So please welcome John Jansen's daughter, who almost got run over by Shannon Bedore, Sadie. A vision. I think she almost died that night. Wow.
Watch What Crappens
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So anyway, that was just kind of what was on my mind.
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Okay, it was the best pee I've ever had, so I'm glad you had a moment.
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Well, the next category is the opposite of what that just was. This is the biggest fail with our beautiful guest. You know him. You love him. He's really gorgeous. And wait till you see this outfit. Mr. Danny Murphy.
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Come on out. From page six, Danny Murphy from virtual reality.
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Thank you. We were just on Dani's show, Virtual Reality, on page six.
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You know what? The moment that I talked shit about her on your show, the very first thing that happened was I said, I feel bad. I feel so bad. I feel so bad.
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We did. I feel like going to someone else's house, I'm much more of an asshole. It's weird. Like, if my parents are in the audience, I start talking about, like, cocksucking. Like, I just get terrible, you know? Okay.
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By the way, shout out to my parents who are in the audience tonight.
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Yeah. But also the singing has been so good. Oh, yes. You know, the way I started that last song, I was like, I love when I hit the notes right perfectly.
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Yeah. I felt it. I was like, let me channel Brittany right now.
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I do do the thing where I just watch them on mute, you know, as you do. Yes, of course. You know, with TikTok or whatever. And I find them delightful.
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So we have a very special category for you. Oh, God. Which is biggest fail.
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So we're gonna start out with some of the nominees. Are you ready to do some nominees with us?
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Okay, well, why don't you read the very first one since you invoked her.
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Vanderpump Rules. And finally, Schwartz and Sandy's, an American neighborhood bar and grill that just didn't quite make it.
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Neither did I. I could have gone, but I chose not to.
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So what are your opinions if you were voting?
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Okay, I'm going to choose Lala. All right, here you go.
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We love you, Dylan. Thank you for being here.
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Unfortunately, Brittany Bateman is with Jared Osmond tonight, so she cannot accept this award.
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You guys. Thank you. Will you accept it on her behalf? Thank you, everyone. Danny Murphy. Thank you. Everyone, go listen to Virtual Reality. Check it out. Page six.
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Oh, my God. What a sweet guy. He is the best. I'm going shopping for that outfit. I'm seriously dead. I love that outfit. All right. All right. Let's go here. What do we have next?
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I don't have my... Okay. Well, oh, we have time for another nominee for Best Bravo Show of the Year. Yes! And now, a scene from the seminal drama of our lives, The Valley. I am tired of the she said, he said, so we should all speak publicly.
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I'm really glad you said something, Michelle. Good job. Right? Now, Jax, I think all our friends gathered at this table will agree. You need to make me feel purty sometimes, Jax.
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Make me feel purty, Jax. It is not about you, Brittany. Come on.
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Can you believe that? God damn. Even I was like, whoa! First, a quick announcement. Please do not attack the stars here this evening. You guys were like me when my Ozempic ran out and I saw a peanut M&M for the first time. We're crawling over each other. Calm down! But it's hard not to. Gorgeous people, eh? My God.
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It's not about you either, Jax. Janet, you have the floor.
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Guys, this is Janet, America's favorite pregnant person. Kristen said that Michelle is racist and Republican. I'm disgusted. I am personally disgusted.
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Hey. Hey, I got an announcement, okay? I've got three babies under two years old. Three under two, baby. Three under two.
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I know I've been a shitty husband to Michelle, but I took ayahuasca for a weekend with a bunch of dudes kind of naked in a glamorous place, so I'm all healed.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
I am not racist. I am Mexican. I am Persian. Michelle, I love you so much, Michelle.
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We're just letting you emote. Just take a moment.
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Just give the audience a moment. Take a moment. Take it all in. All right.
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Oh, this is an important category. Okay. The nation has never been more divided and we need to come together. So that's why we have this category called the worst category. What is the worst? Okay, so our first nominee for the worst is... The economy. The economy's pretty bad.
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It's a tight one. It's a tight category. I almost. I'm not sure. Sadie, may we have the envelope?
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I almost feel bad for politics. Yes. Because it really should have taken it this year. Thank you so much. Thank you.
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Shall we read this one together? I don't know. I'm pretty sure it's the economy. Maybe politics.
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Oh, my God. Congratulations, Larsa Pippen. Oh, my God. Larsa Pippen is not here to accept this award tonight because she is busy up her own ass. But if anybody else would like to take it. God damn, did you catch that? I think I just saw a lady fly. That was amazing.
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All right, this is actually very exciting what's about to happen here. Okay, because we're going to go from the worst to really something, one of the best things that's happened to the Crappies, which is we have a performer coming out who is so impressive, I actually have to read off of a card because his credentials are so cool.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Okay, he is one of the four stars from the original Broadway cast of the Tony and Grammy Award winning musical, Jersey Boys. And he has toured concert halls across the world. Please welcome Broadway star Daniel Ryker.
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Honey, you're braves. Wow. Well, you know, our new tradition on the Crappies is that before we get into the awards and starting a very important PowerPoint presentation behind us... We like to have an opening toast. So to help us open up this show, please welcome one of our recent favorites on Bravo, the one and only Miss Jessel Taylor. Jessel Tang. This is for you.
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It does not get any better than that. Daniel Reichard, everyone. Woo!
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You know you've got to get the Godfather music after your last scene on that show. Oh, more gorgeous in person.
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Let me tell you something. I'm just going to put it out there right now. I only want two things to happen, which is I want Dolores and Carolyn to make it to the very end of The Traitors. That's all. That's all I need for 2025.
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Take it home, baby. Take it home. Take it home. What was that experience like? Was it crazy doing that after Housewives? Which would you consider more stressful?
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Oh, yeah. So you were there for like Jersey Mike's and all that stuff. Were you over there?
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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, because you started right while that was airing.
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This makes so much sense. You guys didn't have phones, which is why Sandoval was bugging out the entire time.
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I have to say, the way you handle Tom Sandoval this week.
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But I loved watching you deal with Sandoval in this last episode.
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Oh, really? You know, that's a topic on Bravo because Craig on Southern Charm admitted he'd never seen The Godfather just like two nights ago.
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Yeah. You were. You dealt with it. You were just like, shut up, child. I know.
Watch What Crappens
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I think because you opened up the round table.
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Yeah. Well, because you opened up the round table, right? You were like, all right, I'd like to start. Sandoval, would you like to say something? Well, you know, you get worked up.
Watch What Crappens
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Yeah, yeah, I can see why you'd be, especially when it's Tom, you know, and you know you're going to go against that little weasel, you know?
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Yeah. Did you feel like years of doing chaotic, crazy Jersey reunions just totally prepared you for the round table?
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What did you say about my... Give me a square fucking table. I'm not doing a round table.
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Oh, I would have... Oh, God, the money I would have paid to watch Dorinda go against Boston Rob.
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I actually am going to mandate that Peacock brings back Dorinda, and we will not hear any other way. Seconded.
Watch What Crappens
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Okay, well, why don't we get on to our thing. So actually, appropriately enough, your category is most chaotic.
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Okay, so we're going to go through the nominations. I didn't bring my glasses either. We'll read them. We'll read them and we'll kiki after. Yeah, okay.
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I love we're all still wearing glasses up here and hiding them under the bed. Does LASIK suck now?
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Oh, you do? Yeah. Oh, shit. I didn't know that. It's like dating.
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Okay, so our first nominee is Brie doing laundry on Below Deck Med.
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Okay. Next up is Casa Amor Recoupling on Love Island USA.
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Such a great show. Jax and Kristen on The Valley. Look at them, look at them.
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Gondola ride in Mexico. Real Housewives of Miami.
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Oh, this one. Guess what? I'd like to direct your attention up there.
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Husbands do not make noise like that. No. Notoriously.
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The best was when you started drinking people's drinks after they left.
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Okay. What do you think you would choose out of these?
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Yeah, you should win that one. All right. Miss Sadie. Let's take a look at these gorgeous Miss Golden Crappies. Thank you.
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That was pure chaos. Congratulations. Pure chaos. Would you like to accept that for them?
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Hi. So what's going on, Jessel? How's it going?
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Dolores Catania, ladies and gentlemen. Dolores, thank you so much for coming tonight. She is an icon. Dolores Catania. You know, I only wish we were being telecast, because, you know, somewhere Frank is watching, going, Dolores!
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
One of the girls backstage was like, oh yeah, I got this, what do you call it, a cameo. One of my friends sent me a cameo from Frank for one of my birthdays. And my friend said that I'm from Long Island. And Frank's cameo's, I fucking love Long Island.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Perfect. The most Frank Catania cameo of all time. All right. Okay.
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Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Catherine DiBernardo has our heart-o.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Jamie, she has no less name-y. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo.
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She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Mannock's door. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.
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Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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You're like, well, I hadn't finished my sentence yet.
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I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. She's got a leg up, it's Beth Ani.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
I know. So how have you been doing with all the trauma? Oh, my God. Your show is traumatic.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
who what why where and Gwen Pentland it's our queen it's Queen Laifa nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall know your worth with Jason Kerr we got our wish it's Jen Plish she's not harsh she's Jill Hirsch she's a little bit loony Junie my favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly it's Kyle Pod Shadley we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron she's a whiz it's Liz Sarthy always killing it it's Lola Alcalani
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Give him hell, Miss Noelle. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Now, are your sessions extra long because Povit's been eating through them? No.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
And Puppet is at home taking care of the kids tonight, right? He is.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
This has become one of our favorite nights of the year, and this was definitely one to remember. Thanks for being here, guys. We love you so much. Enjoy. This is part one of part two. Let the show begin. Welcome to the 2025 Golden Crappie Awards. Celebrating the best and worst in Bravo TV. This year we're coming to you live from New York City.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
You can curse. It's okay if you want to curse at us.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Well, we'll send Pavit upon me and make sure he has a nice cozy evening. Oh, my God.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Yeah. So, have you enjoyed now two seasons under the belt? Yes. How's it feel now, season two, season one, season two, do you feel like you're now like a season pro with being a housewife?
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Yes. So what I was, I forgot what I was gonna say about you, because I'm like starstruck by Jessel right now. I'm so excited that Jessel is right here, but I'm very excited that you're here to help kick off the Golden Crappies. And I think that like, if we're gonna do a toast, should we actually have our toast? So little miss Golden Crappies, Sadie.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Have you seen us move? You just saw that opening number. Do you think we could hold glass? They don't trust us anymore. This is a union house.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
We really did. Oh, my God. Thank you, everyone, for coming to this show.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Love it. All right. What are we toasting to? We are going to toast to the Crappies. Do you want to come up with a toast? I know we're putting it on the spot. Do you want to do a toast or we can come up with one?
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Okay. Sorry. All right. So to the 2025 Crappies. And here's to a future where there is more Jessel in the center of the Real Housewives of New York.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Cheers. Cheers. Cheers, everyone. Thank you for coming.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Clink it. You got to clink it, babe. Thank you so much. Oh, I needed that.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
I have no idea. You know what we have upstairs? Some mezcalume. We do. It was finally brought to America on the Mayflower.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Thank you. Jessel, thank you so much for coming here. We love you. Ladies and gentlemen, Jessel Tong.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
A lot of different people, a lot of different types of people bring their personalities to Bravo. Some are leads, some are villains, some are over-actors, some just cry all the time. You know, we love them all. But one of our favorite things from the past season was someone who went kind of under the radar for most of the year, and whose castmates give her a lot of shit for that.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
But I have to say, we have always appreciated this woman's amazing squint acting talents. Her name is Becky Minkoff, ladies and gentlemen. Everyone, please welcome Rebecca.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Oh, I would be honored. I would be honored. So how are you dealing with your first season? This was a crazy, tumultuous season.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Well, and you guys, we were talking a little bit backstage about how much happens in front of your face when you're shooting, and especially being in the supporting arena for your first season. How much of it shocked you when you saw it play back? Did you know everything was going on that was happening?
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Yeah. How do you react when you hear people talking shit behind your back? Like, do you go make up names on Reddit and start trashing their asses?
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Can we switch later? I'll give you mine if you give me yours. I'll give it to you.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
We, I have to say, I felt like you were an underappreciated cast member on Roni. I thought, you know, I thought like your squint acting was fabulous. And honestly, every time someone came for you and you would just squint at them and be like, I'm sorry, like I can buy and sell you five times over. I love that.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Yeah, there were definitely bigger fish to fry. And it turned out she was the bigger fish to fry. We just didn't see it at the time.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
I would be honored to be found in Nordstrom Rack, personally.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
I would literally love that. I would love that so much.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Yes, I think I could probably use it right now.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
This is just from A-Rack. This is a $100 suit.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Sorry, getting total butt crack over there for these people. Sorry, guys. I'll be better.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
So now this is, I'm so honored that you were here for this. You know why? Why? So normally when we do this, we have a beautiful PowerPoint, but wonderfully for us, the PowerPoint is not working from the iPad right now. Which, no guys, that's good luck. That is good luck. That's a good luck omen.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
So we will read these nominations and we will figure out the PowerPoint shortly, unless someone actually, oh wait, guys.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Guys, we have a director this year. Mark Tuminelli. Guys, this is Mark.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
And Mark has been relegated to the guy who pushes the button on the laptop now.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Okay, so we are doing Best Supporting Character. And the first nominee is Brittany Bateman from Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
The Southwest plane over James Kennedy's house on VPR.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
With direction by Mark Tuminelli and musical stylings by the handsome and beautiful Brandon James Quinn. And now a word from our backstage pre-show correspondent, Dorinda Medley.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
And Zach's hair. By the way, Mark, it's working over here. So I'll let you know if it stops working. We're a very professional award show. So do you have any thoughts on anyone here or anyone you're going to root for?
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Okay, guess what? I lied, Mark, just so you know. It broke again.
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#2729 2025 Golden Crappies Act One
Let's have our golden crappiest girl come out to bring the results, please. I'd also like to welcome the smallest crappie that we've ever had. It's beautiful. I should have known this when I signed up for Grindr a long time ago, but... Things look a lot bigger in pictures.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Disgusting. My God. The oysters deserve more respect.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Yeah, he was still on that Old Navy dot shirt, right?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Yeah, you're on TV, Austin. Jesus Christ. It's a classic. You know how he gets away with that? He's so tall. I swear to God. True, tall privilege. I was like, do whatever you want. I don't care.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Ben is being Daddy Ben. He's like, hmm, I think this is one of the largest airports in the country. It might be the largest. And I was like, by the way, this is after flying out of Salt Lake City, we passed this tall thing. And he's like, that's too small to be a smokestack.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So he's like, yo, when we were dating, Madison put me through fucking hell. And then we get a clip of their best hits.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
And then, of course, the infamous. Oh!
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
No. I mean, I'll take it. So... We get to play with our boobs more than you anyway. That's how gay best friends work.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
And you can see why these two are together, too, because she's like, okay, so thank you for the oyster shooters. We'll have two more of those and a bottle of champagne. And then he orders, what does he order? He orders something else, and then she's like, yeah, and I'll have Bloody Mary. I was like, Jesus Christ!
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So, give me the gas, bitch. And he's like, I wanted to meet up with Craig. And, you know, he's up with, you know, business. He's like, pillow, pillow, pillow, pillow, pillow, pillow. And then we see a flashback to Craig.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I'd like to take over our podcast, our massively successful podcast. And I'd like to give you $17. He's like, well, what do you think of that?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Madison just finishes the first bottle of champagne.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Once they get away, they're gone. I don't even know where this saying came from. I know it's some, like, snooty-tooty saying that we're all supposed to take as truth. It's not true. If you love it, let it go. Guess what? It changes its number and blocks you on Instagram.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I've done it many times. That was... Next time I love it, it's going in my basement. I'm locking it up, and I'm putting buttons down there every once in a while.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Here's my saying, if you love it, lady, I'm going to send you to the moon. If you love it, let it go, but make sure it's got an air tag in its pocket. All right, so Craig and Paige are in their car and they're talking about how they're adding to their family.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Okay, first of all, let's just say we all know that Paige and Craig broke up and Craig is doing this whole tour now where he's like, I was totally blindsided.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Okay, so anyone falling for that line of bullshit, and actually I'm not going to call it a line of bullshit because he believes it. And as a delusional person myself, let me believe. So I'm not going to take away from him that he believes it. But anybody believing that Paige did not lay down the law, please just watch this episode once. Yeah. Because this is a scene.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
He's in the car and he's like, I can't wait to get bees because we can't have babies yet. but we could always have bees.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Well, what I think happens is they give you a queen bee and then she starts her own colony. But then that colony might be in New York and the male's colony might be in Charleston. So all she really needs to do is move the colony to Charleston if she wants more worker bees. I hate bees. The bee shortage is the best thing that ever happened to this country. Kill them all.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Yeah, I don't care. But he was like, I think it's the biggest. And I said, it can't be bigger than Dallas, right? You know, because I'm making conversation. So he's like Googling.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I drank Roundup for breakfast. He's like, God, she wants me so bad.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Craig is the reason they can't have fucking chickens in communities. There's always people like Craig who have chickens in communities. Trust me, I live in Texas. Every time you hear one of those fucking things, go outside to some shirtless fucking guy that no one ever tells no. Including me, I'm like, I love your chickens. I love chickens.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Okay, so he's like, yeah, I'm not allowed to have chickens, but bees are the next best thing. Bees are not the next best thing. You can't eat a bee.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Go to a dog farm at least. I mean, pick the most obvious thing. Get a rabbit. Get a parrot, something. Get something. I wish he got a parrot. And Paige could just train that parrot to be like, I'm not going to marry you. I'm not going to marry you. I'm not going to marry you.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
No, but don't put chickens past me, because that did stick with me. I'm like, I'll bet dogs can hug chickens. Because I like those videos where animals from different species hug each other. Like, they're like, the pig, look, it's a pig hugging a parrot. And I'm like, oh my god, what? The dodo, you know, I love them.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
It's got those little stick figure things on the back window of the rhinoceros. It's like, oh, my God, I've got four little tiny birds. They're all in cheer. Don't drive carelessly behind me. Proud of my rhino-riding family.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Except in this one, the owl has a mullet.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Oh. So Paige is like, that's stupid Craig. The queen bee already has her court. She doesn't need to move. And he's like, is that like her cabinet? Like her team? She's like... Yeah, Craig. Paige is just so beaten down by this point. I was like, how much is she looking at Craig in this episode? Look what she's looking at, out the window.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
She's like... She's like... Well, I mean, first of all... It's like suddenly Paige knows sign language.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
She literally stood there like she'd been slimed. She was like. I'm less afraid of bees than I am bad fashion. You're killing me, one sting at a time. So Rebecca is like, I'm gonna show you everything. Look, it's a secret. Ding, it's an elevator. So Craig's asking Craig questions. He's like, why are the suits white?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
And she's like, because dark colors remind bees of predators, like bears, so they're less intimidated by. Now, what bee did you ask?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Paige is like, well, maybe someone should tell them that it's after Labor Day, because this is horrifying. I'm rooting for the predators.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So they're looking at the bees, and Paige is like, where's the queen? And she goes, she's in there somewhere. And she's like, see, she's not spending time with any of the men either, and you don't hear her complaining.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I just like it on the record. That was not me.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
But I love how representative this is of Charleston because it's like there's one poor chick and she's got like 30 douchebags at the same time, like trying to get in, you know? So Paige is like, so are the bees at least obsessed with the queen? And Rebecca's like, not really. Come on, Rebecca, could you sell it a little bit?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Yeah. So he's like, so what do you do when you want honey, you know? And Paige is like, go to the store, Craig.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Instead of wasting my time with bees, why don't you just bring home a Harris Teeter Bat Boy, OK? So now he's holding a handful of bees, and he's like, this is my fantasy.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So he's like, wow, it's crazy. There's all these beasts. They're not even panicking. They're not even horrified. They're not even in defense mode. She's like, I am.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
She was waiting for us, yeah.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
But babe, look, it's our dream come true. We could have our own little sanctuary. Bees, chickens, lots of poop in the yard that no one really bothers to clean up at any time. Clothes that we wear that don't look like anything. They could just be covered in shit from morning till night. She's like...
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Yeah. So she's like, don't you feel more comfortable around bees now? And she's like, I don't want to live on a farm.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
We're number one. We are.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Chicken, but look at the baby. Don't you want babies around? No, babies are disgusting. God, I can't wait till we're married. We're so on the right track.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So he's like, so what do you think about this? She goes, it's so fun to come visit. Because the thing about visiting is there's always my best friend, an airplane, to get me the hell out of here. Where is my best friend right now? He's like, I know, but you love nature and animals and stuff. And she's like, well, I'm not a monster, Craig. I like animals on the internet.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Oh. But sometimes I fall into this fantasy of being like, oh my God, we could have a farm and a bunch of kids. And she goes, I love fantasizing too, Craig. I'm on a red carpet. I'm single. There are three hot men after me. I'm extremely rich. There are no children allowed.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So she's like, you know, no. And she's like, you're a lot more sentimental than I am, Craig. And that's Paige's way of being like, you're a disgusting human being. Please crawl up into a ball so I can cover you in kerosene and light a match. He's like, wow. Would you say that at our wedding? She's like, Craig!
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Oh, my gosh. So he's like, okay, so before we have the baby, we need to have another company? You need to make another million? I was like, another million? Yes, Paige. Yes, Paige. Yes. And she's like, well, no. I mean, I just want the time that you were allotted. And I thought that that was a good thing to say. Yeah. Right? Like, you didn't grow up.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
She's like, roll the clips of Craig five years ago. And Craig's in an airport being like, thank you.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
And then I think I made a face or something. I mean, it's just my face. You know what I mean? And so I think I made a face and she was like, okay, well, not internationally. Not sure about internationally, but nationally. So then we got off and she's like, do not forget to go to the Puppy Bowl. It's a huge thing here.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Come on, honey. Come on. This is not how we do it in Denver.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So she's like, yeah, I mean, I need the same time, you know? And he goes, well, if you asked me five years ago if I'd have a kid by 36, yeah, Craig. If I asked you what you were gonna be doing five years from now, five years ago, you'd just have said an eight ball. I mean, give me a fucking break. No one in their right mind who saw you five years ago said, there's a guy who's ready to have kids.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
And the only reason they're saying that now is because Paige has been brushing you off and telling you what to say for the past three years. Give me a fucking break. Now. That's not to say he doesn't deserve what he wants. I think he does deserve what he wants. I mean, Craig is a sweet, dumb guy. And he's hot. And hot people deserve things. I mean, haven't we learned that in this country?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Yeah, it's about time straight hot white guys got what they deserved in this country. Yeah. But, you know, he does deserve that. But you don't just deserve it with anybody that you want. I mean, Jesus Christ, you can't just walk into the Applebee's and be like, mine. I try it. I try it every fucking time and it never works.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So she's like- You have to find someone who's ready. And trust me, there's girls in lines with napkins in their hands. We've seen them ourselves, huh? We have. So Paige is like- I'd marry any one of those girls. Any one of those girls. Sorry. It's okay. I was just falling in love thinking of all the girls.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I don't even know why. Just all those sweet girls following Austin. No one was homely. And they were all like, here's my resume. I was like, that's your LinkedIn? Goddamn. Goddamn. It's like, I'm just the head of Nabisco. Call me whenever you'd like. I was like, oh my God.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I mean, it can happen. I've seen it in the news. Thank you Thank you. Thank you.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
It's upstairs, you gotta go. And we're like, okay. And so we got off with her and she's like, Puppy Bowl, Puppy Bowl, Puppy Bowl, Denver, Puppy Bowl.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
It's literally an elevator right outside the door.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
It wasn't. It was an elevator. And she goes, let me show you a secret. Ding. And Ben was like, oh, my God. No. No. This is a secret. We would have gone all the way up the escalator.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Hello, Denver, darling. Hello. So good to see you, Denver. Hello. So we've been breathing this thin-ass air for...
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
And she goes, it's a secret, and I guess I made a face. And she goes, well, I don't take it when there's handicapped people.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Or strollers. Yes. I only take it when there's no one else here. I was like, it's okay. Like, I'm not, like, fuck it. Put the handicapped people aside. You're already sitting down. Do it over there. I got to get up the elevator.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So are you jealous of Craig and Whitney, Craig and Chip hanging out? Are you jealous?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Oh. Oh, actually, weren't you teaching him what triangulation was when we were at dinner? And he was like, wow, that's so interesting. He already knew. He already knew that fake motherfucker.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Because why not? Yeah. Sorry, I'm just putting my ankle under my thigh and it's not easy.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I'm so sorry. It says like this chair dips like this so I can't do my usual.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
No, no, no. Tell him. I brought it up. I thought it was funny.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I was like, think of it this way. You're just three douchebags taking turn calling each other out.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So Austin's like, yeah, Craig is being like so much pettier than he so forth wants people to believe it.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So then Shep comes in.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Even between sentences.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Austin's like, haha, I don't get it. And then he's wearing black and white shoes, and Whitney's like, what did you just come from the cotton club?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Hi, guys. Hi. So good to be here. I hope my makeup's okay. They're like, gosh, what do you smell like? That's the gayest smell I've ever smelled. It's like, Eddie got it for me. It's pretty expensive. I don't know how expensive, but I don't really work. Someone has to.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So then Patricia's like, well, now let me just say I love Craig. It wasn't a purposeful exclusion at that last party. It's just that I never really see Craig. I mean, Shep and Austin are always coming and going, but Craig isn't here unless I explicitly invite him to be. Well, yeah, who the fuck randomly shows up at your house? Even the mailman makes a reservation to go to that fucking place.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
And I was like, oh my God, my cheekbones are popping. My hip bones are popping.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
She's just like, this is how she drives. This is how Patricia drives around the corner.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Nothing ever moves. He's like, of course, Patricia, you almost hit that person. She's like, I missed her. Damn it.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I'm going to need some help keeping straight. Could you just have all of the pores lie down in the street so I can see bigger dots?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So she's like, I haven't driven since 1932. And I don't plan to ever do that again. So then they make some small talk about blah, blah, blah. And then Miss Patricia's like, well, I learned my lesson about taking the car out. So now they're talking about gossip. And Shep is like, here's some, Miss Patricia. We're going to the Bahamas next week to meet the love of my life.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
We're celebrating short idiots tonight. Unfortunately, JT's not invited. Uh, every course has mozzarella on it. What the fuck? Did you notice that? They start with the caprese, and then he makes something and puts a big blob of burrata on it. That is a farty party. I'm just telling you that right now.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
We're all from the same family here.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So Patricia's like, so how are you with that little soul-sucking vixen who's going to leave you for dead on the side of the road, Craig? You feeling happy? She's working in L.A. And Shep's like, she's in L.A.?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So, have you ever thought about an ultimatum? Yeah, let's see how that'll go. Try it. We already heard. And, of course, he doesn't mention, yeah, I just took her to the B place, and she told me if I gave her an ultimatum, not only was I dead, I'd be dead and single for life. But he doesn't. He's like, no, because I like what we're doing, you know? Like, everyone else kind of speaks for me.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I thought he was being mean. I was at the other baggage claim getting my baggage, and I was like, you just missed the hottest guy. He was like a living tree. He was so big, and he was wearing short shorts. And then Ben was like, oh, I was staring at the gargoyle at Terminal 14. I was like, Jesus Christ, man. You don't have to be hot to live. He goes, no, there's like a literal gargoyle. Yeah.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Well, it's that old adage. No one knows what happens behind Ken Burns' doors.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So Miss Patricia's like, so how many years have you all wasted? I mean, been together. Like only two and a half, but everyone thinks it's been longer. And I'm like, oh, that's a decent amount of time. I love all the guys here acting like they can't believe someone won't commit after two years. You fucking douchebags. Watch this show. Watch this show.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
We're going to get married. Trust me. We're going to get married. And when he's like, I can't even do it. Oh, here. Hold on. We get this. Whitney has gone to the bathroom to do God knows what. And now he's got a full-on napkin like a baby tucked into his shirt and he's shit-faced.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
In my day, you'd meet, if you got along, you'd date for a certain period of time, you got engaged, you get married, you pop out a little boy with a Chucky wig and call it a day. When that one runs out of money, you throw him down the stairs and do it all over again. Rinse and repeat. Do I have to teach you children everything?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
You could hit a person in the road and nobody yelled at you about it. So, yeah, she's like, back in my day it was easy. Yeah, but back in your day it was easier to get rich because you were marrying dudes with hundreds of millions of dollars. Craig has pillows.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Which is very soon in this timeline.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
We're like, yeah, but like between us, I showed her a sheet of rings and I said, pick your favorite. And then she picked two that were my favorite actually too. So thank God.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So Miss Patricia asked about the shape, and he's like, she picked an emerald cut and an elongated cushion. And we just hear, ba-ching. And Patricia goes, oh, well, that one's going to need some side diamonds.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
It's like, who have you become?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I think that was the first time Patricia ever respected Paige, when she was like... That bitch just asked for 20 more small diamonds on the side.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
And then they just keep hounding him and hounding him and hounding him and hounding him. And Whitney's like, she doesn't want to marry you. She's a fucking loser. Nobody wants to marry you.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
She doesn't even get mad this time. She just goes, I had the legs reinforced, but not the back.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I'm doing estate planning now, so if people are going to break my furniture, I'm watching them dyeing it.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So now they keep hounding him about getting married and stuff like that, and Whitney's too wasted to be there. So she's like, well, what are y'all gonna do in Nassau? Well, Shep's girlfriend, I haven't even met her yet. Is she excited that we're coming down? He's like, yeah, yeah, it's so great. Every time I call her, like, she's just so busy planning, she never picks up the phone.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
It's gonna be amazing.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So they all know this relationship. This girl is just totally using Shep to be on TV, right? Because the girl even came on TV and was like, yeah, I'm really dating him because my mom loves this show. and my grandma's the fan mail, like she's the head of the fan club, so. So it's kind of obvious. And Shep's like, well, I'm not really sure where I stand right now, but hopefully I'll find out.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
And Whitney's like, all right, here's where you stand, okay? You're not famous enough, and excuse me for a second, you're not rich enough, you're not famous enough, no one likes you, you don't have enough money, and you don't have enough fame.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I really love the part, too, where Shep's like, yeah, I've got a girlfriend in Nassau. And Austin's like, yeah, I've got a girlfriend like a state away or something. And she goes, I think it's quite convenient that you've all got girlfriends who are nowhere near you.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Or as I call it, Duck Dynasty. Duck Dynasty. Did you see that and watch what happens? They're like, what do you like? Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. They keep listing stuff. And they're like, Duck Dynasty. She's like, love it. Those are my people.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Shep's like, course, that's not true. She just watched me eat a bowl of goodness and didn't even say anything bad. She's in love with me. He's like. She hates your guts. She hopes you die. And guess what? She tried to fuck me first on Raya.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
All right. Well, anywho.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
He's like, but I didn't respond. I didn't respond. He's like, well, I guess I knew that they connected on Raya. And Brittany goes, it must suck, me being better than you.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So they smoke cigars, and Ryan's like, if you were to think about the perfect Bahamas trip, What would that look like? Well, there's part of me that thinks it'll be kumbaya. We kind of remember how much we make each other happy. We move from there. I tell her she's an idiot for messing up the game. And she says, you're right, Shep. And I say, this is like Juliet and Romeo.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
And she says, what's that? And then I teach her on a long walk down the beach how to be a good person and an upstanding woman. Totally, this is all going to work out. Good, good, good, come on. And even Craig's like, this guy's going to die alone.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Yes. Welcome to What's Rock Crappin', the podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on you bros. All right. Previously on Southern Charm.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Countess speaking. We have arrived.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Yes, we canna, it's Savannah.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Shut up, Craig. I hate Charleston.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Welcome to my cupcake sandwich party. Hey, tuba girl. You gonna eat a cupcake sandwich?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
All right, now, everybody, I'd like you to meet another in a long line of fabulous gay friends of mine. Ryan. Ryan, say something. Ryan, straighten your wig, Ryan. Straighten your wig.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Yeah. I was like, why do I feel weird? It's because I'm breathing thin air. Thin air don't care. Ozempic air here. I love it. You know, I'm a huge supporter. I forgot this chair sinks, too. I was like, yes, Denver, in your soft seats. We had the best trip here, and we met a hero of Denver, Glinda, the airport lady.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Even an elderly one. I'm a truth sayer. A soldier in the war against dishonesty. A white cake man to see his chauvinist male boys.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I ain't a stalker, honey. That first time I met him, I didn't even know he had a girlfriend till I was giving him a little head in the parking lot of the Harris Teeters. By then, it was too late to break up. Gotta let him finish.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Or like the one I have with Randy. Watch what happens when I push this button.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
As usual, accurate reporting from watching. By the way, hi, side people over there. I love you. Welcome to my muffin party.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
And then JT is sitting in a balcony with a robe on. Yeah, boo. A very tiny robe, all right? It was a small robe. And he's got an orchid on the chair next to him. And he's like, is that why there's bees coming? Do the bees love your orchid? It's a big bee episode.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I was like, finally, some charisma. You're doing great, Charles. Yeah.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
I know I'm collecting a paycheck to be on a TV show, but fuck you. Fuck this show. Why do I even have to call you? What's your name? I'm in a Marshalls. How disgusting is that?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
You made dinner for that little weasel? And he has a girlfriend? Oh, Jesus Christ. And she's like, yeah, well, he can't possibly have a girlfriend. I'm around him all the time. Leva, you don't pay attention to shit. I can't even believe you're still here. I can't believe Leva isn't just driving away in every scene that we see her in. Every time she's there, she's like, what's this party for?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
Well, I like that his whole argument is like, but now look, Vanita, here's the thing. If I'm dating you and I'm dating her. Aren't you going to feel bad that you know that I would be dating somebody else? I'd rather that whore feel bad. You're the classy one in this situation. Like, what kind of logic is that?
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
And I'm still not over him finishing the branzino first. He ate that whole fish, you guys. They showed just the fish skin on the plate. And he's like, by the way, I've got a girlfriend.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
That's what sofas are made for. That's why you buy cheap sofas off of Craigslist. They may have some stains you can't explain, but you can eat a fish on them.
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#2722 SOUTHERN CHARM S10E09: Best Bee-havior - Live from Denver
So poor Vanita is like, well, I may not have a boyfriend, but at least I get to open my heart to Leva right now. So here's how I'm feeling about it. Like, seriously, I have to go. Did I mention Marshall's six-year-old? I'm in a living hell. God bless you. I hope you find a man.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Which is basically like incest for dogs. It's like gastro incest for dogs. So we're into it. And then we get our favorite thing about Salt Lake City.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
We get the choir singing real estate version ha's. And then we see people dancing in a club in slow motion to the ha's.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So, sold on SLC, the title card. And then we see the town, a temple, a trolley. Presidio Real Estate, of course. And it's a sales meeting. There are so many salespeople here. There's a lot of them. And let me tell you, a lot of these people look exhausted. It's like, can I please retire? Please let me retire. And Jennifer Yao won't. She's like, I'm Jennifer Yao, and you're not retiring.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
You know what I say to your retiring? Yao.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
They're using special effects for things that don't deserve them. Like selling sunset. It's like so much hotness and glamor. It's like, Ooh, she's walking slow, but this house is $97 trillion and her dress is 96, you know? And then it's like, slow. I'm a girl boss bitch. But then on this show, it's like they're all in polyester and they're walking into a metal building. Yeah.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And it's just like, you can't use the same music in slow-mo, you know? It's like when people get their own green screens at home, and we're all like, look at me! I am on top of a building! And it's just like, okay, maybe that's the same thing they used in Lord of the Rings, but we haven't earned it yet, you know what I mean?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
They're as bored on that set as we are. Port Rose production, they're like, literally nothing is going on on this show. Make some windows into Tetris.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Krappens commercial.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
No better way to do that than a nice new piece of beautiful furniture.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I just did my place all mid-century modern, and I got the most beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
There's something for every style and home, no matter your space or budget.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home. Elevating my style used to mean breaking the bank, but with Quince, I get high-end, versatile pieces at prices I can actually afford. Now I can upgrade my style by snagging luxury essentials that sync with my vibe and my wallet.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
The best part? All Quince items are priced 50-80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman and passes the savings on to us. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices, along with premium fabrics and finishes. I love that.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.com slash crappins for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's quince.com, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash crappins to get free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com slash crappins.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
If you're looking to get away with all the fabulous luxe experience of the Housewives, but none of the drama, check out Virgin Voyages.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I am looking up her record because I'm going to start doing this. Okay, so she's been at it 17 years. 118,000 divided by 17 is... That's only 6,940... Wait, that's not right. Yeah, that's... No, that's because... No, that's because 118 million, right? I'm so stupid. 118 million... Okay, that's six zeros. I've learned this this week, how many zeros are in a million. God bless it. Divided by what?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
17, right? Okay, so that's about 6.9 million a year average. That's terrible. Yeah. Because when we see others pop up on the screen, they're like, $30 million, $39 million in a year. And she's like, I'm the CEO, and I average $6.9 million a year. I'm like, girl, am I right or wrong? Why am I shaming Jennifer Yeoh? I don't even know. I don't know. I'm all for it, though. The math just hit me.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Okay, so we go to the meeting. She's like, everyone ready for the sales meeting? And they're like, oh, grumble, grumble. Coffee is for closers, old man. Perk up. He's like, all right. Jack Lemmon's like, okay. So she's like, okay, everybody, welcome. Nobody wants charcuterie. Come on, guys. That cost me $15 at the Hebe.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And you know that she just did that for the cameras because people are like, I'm not touching that. But what is that new foreign charcuterie or whatever they would call it on this show? Because no one can pronounce it. You know, it's Bravo.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Oh, so we're eating bread now? No more keto diet, you fat fuck? I feel like that's what people would be thinking about me. Because I'd be like, I'm on an all-protein diet, guys. It's amazing. I've never felt charcuterie. I'll have some crackers and some cheese, please.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Like, Barbie has a dream house.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Yeah, like, Barbie's already a billionaire. Also, as she says this, we pan over the crowd. Girl, this is not bedazzled agents. These are polyestered old men. What are you trying to sell me? You think just because you say Barbie agents, you're going to pan around and I'm not going to see Jack Lemmon times 20 sitting there? No, it's Jack Lemmon. There's a couple of Walter Matthaus even.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
You can find these great prices in-store and online. Shop Whole Foods Market on Amazon and get free pickup and convenient delivery on all your wellness journey essentials. Terms apply.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Okay, guys. So here we are. We've had $1 trillion kabillion, $5 trillion in sales. Woo! That's right. And just last month alone, we had $18 kabillion, $19 trillion, and $87 fombillion. Woo! She keeps wooing herself.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
all three and so tina's like in utah i'm a unicorn and of course i immediately thought she's a swinger who just goes with everybody right because that's what we learned on salt lake city because britney calls herself a unicorn and then someone emailed us and i was like a unicorn is a swinger slang for a single woman that can go with she's unattached so when they're swinging she can go with anybody she you know they can just pick her and they'll have to fuck the husband too
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So that's supposedly what all that meant. But, you know, I don't know what I believe in a Reddit comment or an email, but everything must be honest. I believe everything. But that's what we learned. So that's what I thought she meant. But no, she meant actually unicorn because she's black. She's lesbian. She's a single mom. She's got amazing tits. She's got phenomenal cheekbones. She's funny.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
She's ambitious. She's clever. She's got a great ass. Did she mention the tits? Oh, fucking unicorn. Yeah.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Yeah, for good reason, you little fucking tattletale. So, we automatically know he's the villain tattletale. He's like... I'm more Mormon than you, and I'm going to try and get more business because I'm more religious than you.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
He's one of the most evil villains we've ever seen, not because of Mormonism, but because of somebody using the religion against you, which we're going to be seeing a lot, probably, in the coming years. I've seen it a lot in the past throughout history.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
These people who were just like going to cling to whatever success they can by acting like they're more religious than everybody else and getting everybody else murdered and burnt at the stake for not being as religious as them. You frowny face little fuck. And you know what? I did not press record on the DVR. So when I was like, oh, that show's on, I forgot.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I had to start watching it in the middle because it wasn't recording. So I didn't see this scene when I started watching it. And I was like, it's not so bad. why does Tina hate him? Like he's, he doesn't seem that bad. I mean, he's maybe a little annoying and yes, he's probably failing upwards and all that, but I didn't think it was this bad.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And then I saw this and I was like, Oh, you little fucking snake.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
It is awkward. But it's awkward even if you're Asian. I mean, what if my name was, like, kind of Lebanese? Like, half Lebanese Ronnie. Or just not even Ronnie. Just, hey, Halle. Half-leb? Half-leb?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
It's terrible, girl. It's terrible. And then we see Kenny, who's another persnickety little blonde white guy. And he's like, well, I think that Malaysia coming back to Presidio is a very bold move. Even bolder than me plucking my eyebrows down to an extremely thin line. And her willingness to quickly be all in. I'm a little suspicious.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
It'd be very, very easy for her to jump ship back to where she was. Well, It's not the case with anybody. Give Malaysia a break, dude.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
well hello and welcome to the watcher crappens bonus episode i'm ben that's ronnie if you're listening that means to support us here on patreon so thank you very much for doing that we always appreciate it ronnie how are you doing today so good what's been going on over there i'm back in texas it's nice it's really gloomy here it's really rainy seeing family eating amy's ice cream wondering why my boobs are getting bigger you know that kind of thing how's it going over there
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Yeah, let Malaysia and her stupid name be free.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Yeah, Malicious, that's how it's spelled. I thought it was M-Y-L-A-S-I-A. So, you see, that's how educated I am. Zero.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Yeah. I mean, I just think it's okay to not be Mormon, but I don't live in that town. So I'm like, why bother? But I think you just need the contacts. So you've got to go to temple, you've got to make the contacts, and that's just how it is.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So then Tina is talking about a listing that she has. And because they're basically giving each other like, I need help with my listing. I need help with my listing. And so they start doing that. And we start seeing some of the homes, which as we learned very quickly, all the houses kind of look the same, right? They're big boxes with like... 50 feet ceilings? I mean, there are a lot of ceilings.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Lots of ceilings. Huge.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And Kenny's like, I firmly believe God plays a massive role in my real estate success. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being a star member of the Church of Latter-day Saints, I'd call myself a 12 out of 10. Wait, so this is... Wait, is Kenny the guy with the little eyebrows or the guy with the squished face? Little eyebrows. He's the one... Oh, okay.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
That was squished face.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
um yeah and matt squish face also he switched so then and we'll find out more about matt later which is well actually just who cares spoiler alert matt won realtor of the year but he just had to trade in all his cars for a fucking toyota because he can't afford anything because he can't sell anything except his brother-in-law's house which he still hasn't sold so how did matt get realtor of the year like this is so typical like here comes this hot fucking blonde guy and he gets realtor of the year because he works out the most that is bullshit okay i don't like it and she
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
He's like, oh my God, my little underdog. Matt is not an underdog. The world is handed to Matt, okay?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I actually love his confessionals, I think, the most on the whole show. Because every time I'm like, what? And he's always trying to do some kind of burn. But it's like, what the fuck did he just say? So he's like, sure, Mormons love buying free strike food. But they also love buying houses. Snap. I'm like, what?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
But this is very Whitney from Salt Lake City, though, to be like, Mormons love buying freeze-dried food, but they also love buying houses.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Maybe like end-of-the-world shit, maybe? Like prepping?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
He means freeze-dried, like space food. You know how they freeze-dry food? It's like, haven't you had space ice cream? It's freeze-dried, and you open it, and it's dry. They take all the liquid out of it.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I think maybe he sells the containers for the freeze-dried food. I don't know, like Tupperware for freeze-dried food?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
It's freeze dried food. We should look it up. Guys, we're going to learn so much on this show. Mormons and freeze dried. Why do Mormons like freeze dried food? Let's see. It says, Mormons often favor freeze-dried food because of their strong emphasis on food storage and emergency preparedness. Oh, it is prepper. You guys, hi, I'm very smart.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I may not know how to spell Malaysia, but I can see a prepper. Okay. as their religious teachings encourage them to be prepared for potential hardships by stockpiling non-perishable food. You guys, after all this bitching about Mormonism, I could totally be Mormon, because you know when the pandemic happened, guess who people needed to come to you for toilet paper? Mormons. Me.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I had them up the wazoo. I had so many because I ordered them every if I want ice cream off of DoorDash or Instacart, but I don't have a whole order. I'll order like a big thing of paper towels because you'll always use them someday. And so I ended up having a whole room full of paper towels. I'm basically I'm Ronnie Smith.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Yeah, it's like, remember where I think. Freeze-dried food storage. And why did he hate it so much?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
To me, it looks like big plastic containers of stuff. It's like Costco. Costco storage stuff. Is it modular? Okay. So, now they're back to the sales meeting. And Malaysia's like, whoa, whoa, real quick. Sarah Martindale just listed this week. It's a five-bedroom, five-bath. If anyone can help Sarah, that would be great. My name's Malaysia. And then we see pictures.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And then Jennifer Yeoh is like, where is Sarah? Anyway... To Sarah's neighborhood. A house that Sarah is showing. And she's like praying in another language, which I don't realize, I don't recognize right off the bat. And the subtitles are like, Lord, may you bring the right buyer to this house. In Jesus' name, amen. And then we transition. We see Sarah. And she's gorgeous.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
This girl's, like, beautiful. And she's, like, holding flowers. She looks like a young, gorgeous bride, darling. She's looking in the mirror and smiling at herself.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I'm just saying. She was at 4.816.666 million. Whoa. That is a better. And she might be the villain. And that's what her number came out to. There's a 666 in it. Everybody watch out.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So then I was like, hee hee hee. And then we see this house showing. And guess who she's showing it to?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I was like, thank y'all. So then we see the Bezo party from Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, and Sarah was there.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
It's like the dancing emoji of the lady in the red dress. It's like... So we see the listing. It's huge. It's a huge box with giant ceilings, et cetera, just like all of them. Mountain views. Now, let me tell you, these shows, and I think just life in general, has made Utah super popular lately. It's a very trendy place to be.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And a lot of people are moving there and just popping out babies by the truckload. And they still have so much undeveloped land because every one of these houses, except the poor, not poor people, but like the middle class live in these like row houses like Whitney. You know, she lives in that farmhouse row house area. But the other homes have just nothing but land.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I mean, you can see miles and miles of land. How do they have that much? And are they running out of water? What's happening? Yeah.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And the show's also laying it on really thick. It's like, here's the enemies of the show. Tina and Matt.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And then she's just doing this in her chair where she's like swiveling wildly in her chair, which makes me crazy. It's such a power move. And Matt's like, okay, I guess I'll just sit here and watch you swivel for a while.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
um so she's like so you have a secret a pop secret delicious and um she's like i need to be open and honest there's talk that you've been telling people that i don't believe in god and i hate mormons and he's like oh you don't believe in god that sounds so like like i mean i'm gonna throw something out and see what sticks honestly
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I think it's because you're in like a touristy area and like people who aren't from the city walk like that. Cause when we were there together, we stayed in a touristy area and it was like that, but I think it was a tourist. They were like, Oh my God, like they would literally stop and point at something. And I'm like, there's 19 of you. So you're going to need to move to the side.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
He's like, well, I feed my family fruit roll ups and you still eat them. What's the point? And she's like, recently I lost out on a big transaction and the client is like really heavy in the church and rumors swirl and business gets lost. They do not call this small lake city for nothing. And Matt's like, what? I would never. That's crazy. Bring someone that's actually heard that from my mouth.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Matt, we just heard it from your mouth. You literally just sat in the confessional and was like, well, she's not Mormon. And we know, I don't know how she feels about God, but we know that they're bitter. We know that they're bitter after. So we've heard you, Matt. We've heard your bullshit. And you did say this.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
These are exclusively built kid-free cruises, so no matter what you're looking for, you can get the type of experience you need most, all catered to adult tastes.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So yeah, he's a liar. So she's like, well, I would describe Matthew as a gossipy, fake, two-faced, squish face. And so Matt's like, well, I know that Tina hates me, and I don't like to speak negatively about people, but do I like her? Not at all. We've worked together in the past, and it was a total nightmare working with a godless heathen like Tina who hates God. But I would never say that.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And then they show another scene where Tina's like, hey, we're going to work on something together. And I'd like to take the lead on this one. I was like, okay, guys, we get it. You're enemies. You know, they're like, OK, change your blazer and then let's shoot a scene in the snack room. But this time, Tina, you say you want to be in charge. She's like, got it. Got it. Matt, are you OK with this?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
OK, I'm OK with it. God hate her. J.K. J.K. Oh, my God. Add a rowling to my end and I could have written Harry Potter because I'm J.K. OK, Matt, you're hilarious. OK, shoot. Well, we hate each other.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
You're gonna have to come up with a different pointing plan. Okay. Yeah.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
what are you talking what is this fight so stupid and neither one of them makes any sense because he goes yeah my perception what does that mean my perception is incorrect according to you you're not used to people coming at you with shit he goes okay and she goes still talking it's like oh god so he just leaves and tina's like oh he can't handle it he just can't handle it malaysia's like i'm malaysia
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Hi, we have a whole primary bedroom based on a nativity scene, and the bed is the manger. So anybody want to fucking Jesus' bed? Anybody? Anybody want to do that? Hot. Hot. Sounds great. What a seller. So they look around. There's the guy. What a goober the husband is. And, you know, this is one of those towns where I think a lot of goober husbands marry really hot wives.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
The wife is gorgeous, and the husband is a goober. He's a khaki, and he's still in the short... The white short-sleeved shirt, you know, that they wear in Book of Mormon. He's, like, basically in his Book of Mormon costume from the Broadway show. And he's like, that's just on primary. So, I was like, yes. So, they go look at it. And Jennifer's like, God is everywhere here. Literally everywhere.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So, and... To illustrate this, we see that they have double washers and double dryers.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
They wash, they dry, and they freeze dry your grapes.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So then we go over to the house that Matt's showing. And, oh, no, we go to his actual house. We go to Matt's little house. And there's kids everywhere. It's like 97 children. And they're all named crazy things. Well, not all of them. One. One. He's got an Addie. That's normal. And Enzo. That's normal. And a Leo, which is normal. And then they have a Dallin, which I think was their first.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
But then they couldn't just keep coming up with silly names. Like, oh, gosh, we already have an Allen with a D at the beginning. Should we have a John with an M at the beginning? Mon? I don't think so. Maybe people will think he's singing reggae. Okay, well, what else should we do? Should we have a Sam with a D in the start? A damn? I like damn. But that's kind of a curse word.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I don't want to get thrown out of town. Let's just go with Enzo.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Hi kids, it's me, Malaysia.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
dal and addy and leo ha i've been released so his wife um his harried wife and i'm not saying harry i'm just saying harried because you can tell she does everything she's just like exhausted she's slapping peanut butter on sandwiches getting the kids running around you know roping them she's got a rope in one hand where she's roping one kid climbing from off a ledge while she's making a sandwich she's bathing the other one in the sink she's you know braiding the other one's hair up in the raft
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So, Jennifer is talking to Brennan and Emily. And she's like... Because I guess that's the wife. She's like, so they say if you make beautiful children, you should continue to make beautiful... Oh, no, no. This is Jennifer Yeoh, back at her listing. So, she's like, well, guys, you know... You should build another because I think this house is worth $3.5 million.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I mean, there's so many nice furnishes. People can fuck at the temple.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Yeah, it's a good place. All right, well, let's get on with it. So we have a new show in the Bravo universe. This one is called Sold on SLC. So we're going to be tackling this for as long as it interests us on the bonus episodes. Who knows? Will it be five seasons? Will it be one episode? We don't know. Don't talk Tom.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Because, well, maybe some of them just want to have sex. But personally, I want to have as many breadsticks as this woman could have eaten. I want to have many children as this woman could have eaten breadsticks. Sorry, I got confused. So then back to Matt. So then we see him pulling out Enzo's tooth, which is loose. And then his wife, Nicole, is like, tell me about your work, honey.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I'm like, oh, my God, is she changing the oil on the car while she's making a French toast?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So, he's not doing well, which is why he's going to get witches burnt at the stake for the Mormon church. So he's like, yeah, it's rough. But my wife even has to work and bring in money. Oh, gosh. She has to work. Which is really hard because they've got 97 children. Like, it's a lot of work. I do not. It's got to suck. And she's making the dinner. And she's doing the this.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And she's doing the that. And I think he's cheating on her. I'm just saying it right now. I think the man is cheating on her. He's giving me slimy cheater vibes. I think everybody on this show could be gay. Women and men. I don't really understand the sexuality in that town. But I'm getting Sean Cody cheater vibes.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
No, his secret is that he's telling people that Tina are godless.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I'm going to need some to add some more milk to this, um, dry corn that you, you brought home from your last job that we're still eating off of.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Okay, so now we go back to Matt's house. No, we don't. We go to Trixie Choir Music. And then we see Tina's house. So now we're going to Tina's. And this is her first house since divorcing her husband. And so I'm getting pink and gold. And that's what she does. Everything's pink and gold.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
the irony so then um she's talking about how she'd never gotten an orgasm from a man that should have been a clue and then guess who comes over jennifer yo what are you doing here jennifer she's like hi someone who sold 16 million dollars and um 97 years like to welcome myself to your home hello it's me jennifer yo
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And Tina's like, girl, he took one of my best friends who's in the industry out to lunch and told her that I don't believe in God. Dun, dun, dun. And then Jennifer's like, well, I already got an earful from Matt about their confrontation, and I just want them to be professional and get along. Because, listen, no fighting. Go to your separate corners. You're in timeout, okay?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
You know, there's something in Europe where people like kind of dig, well, they, you know, they, they dog on America anyway, for lots of reasons. But one of them is like, Oh my God, like in Europe, like just add your accent here because I'm not doing one right now, but like here in Europe, um, Our buildings are, like, so old. They're made out of stone, and they're made out of, like, brick.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And so Tina continues. She's like, and I never said that, but he 1000% said it about me. And especially as women in this industry, in a male dominated state, you got to grow a pair. And I'm talking about tits like mine.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So then we go to Matt's broker open and that's sad because we know it is a, what is that called? When you're, you give something to your family. Bone. I'm a bone. No. Like when, like when you give your, when you give your son the job of president at the company, nepotism.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
We know it's a nepotism open house. So that's sad, you know? So he rolls up in his little toy.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And they're putting up the little flags in front of the house and stuff.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Well, there's one thing I learned about growth and about challenges. It's that you cannot have growth
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And then we see that he, we see why he's a failure because he's just lazy and doesn't do anything right. He leaves cat litter. That's full of cat litter box out. That's full. And he's like, who cares? And then he leaves all these bathroom products on the counters. And she's like, why are these here? And he's like, I told him to get rid of those.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
But then they cut to him telling his assistant, just leave them there. It's lived in. So he's a liar. He's lazy. And he's unprepared. So that's what we're seeing. And that's why we see that he's evil. And I'm glad they showed all this stuff on the show. And then Jennifer's like, I really believe in him. He's my great white hope. Which might not be the right way to put it. But actually, it tracks.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So we'll keep it in. He's really hot.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And in America, shit's made out of cardboard, and it comes down in two seconds. Well, someone who just remodeled a house, let me just say, thank God for American cardboard houses, because you can change it. You can just be like, I don't like that wall now. I'm going to, I'm going to change it. And then you can just do new things all the time.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So then the realtors start coming in. You know, the realtors are there. The brokers, whatever. Realtors, they're all there. And so Malaysia's there. And she comes out of a teapot. She's like... She's like, whoa, so this is your sister's house? I didn't know you had a Hispanic background until you mentioned your sister. And he's like, oh, we're not Hispanic. She goes, what are you?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
He's like, white. Are you teaming up with Tina right now? Are you teaming up with Tina right now, Malaysia?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Yeah. And then Kenny is there as well, little brows. And he's like, it's called a Brotox, actually. And they're like, yeah, it's definitely called a Brotox.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And no one's face is moving.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
You see what he's doing? He's even using their religion to sell. He's like, look at me. I'm the best because I just became... Okay, Matt. Okay. And he also says something in this, like the verse said something like establish a house, but always be prepared and organized.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So I guess that is back to the kind of air dried food or whatever.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Yes. Yes. I've never seen that. Have you? No, I loved it. That was cool. There was like a door with like a mini, it looks like a doggy door. And you just shove stuff in there. So you could just come home and shove everything in there. I don't know. I don't know who does. I don't know who puts it all away. But it's an interesting door. So then now Matt's giving Malaysia a tour.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Whereas I feel like there, they're always patching over the same pipe that burst, you know, in the twenties when they were still made out of ostrich bones, the 15 twenties.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And then Tina enters. And they're kind of cordial. And she's like, I'm here for the charcuterie. Yeah. Oh, God. Hilarious. So then Sarah comes, and she's the Brazilian who's stealing listings for her husband. So everyone's like, dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun. She's like, there's something going on between me and Jennifer Yeoh, but I don't know why. And then we switch to Jennifer.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
She's like, um, maybe last month's Chris Brokerage recruited two of my brokers. Their whole office is, like, maybe my top producers. So...
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And Jennifer's like, yeah. And I sent your husband a text. And I said, hey, why am I reaching out to you when this is happening? Why are you reaching out to me? And you said, Jen, this has got to be awkward because you've been kind enough to let Sarah be a presidio. And he hasn't even let me know.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And Sarah's like, I have no fucking idea where they're going. And she's like, oh, really? Well, do you really think I'm bringing agents? Oh, she goes, do you really think I'm bringing agents from Presidio to my husband's brokerage reel, which is so accessible, anybody can call it right now using the Google? Yeah.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
jennifer's like let's not do this in public and then she just leaves the listing i was like well i understand you want to be professional but also why are you leaving the listing so she just walks out yeah you're leaving fire her ass yeah what are you even doing so then sarah's like where's the tequila and kenny's like um probably a conversation that should have been had somewhere else shut up tiny brows no one's asking you
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Yeah. And so she was like, we met on Match.com. I mean, what can I say? You know? And at first, I mean, I thought he was fine. But on his second date, he was like, what do you do? And I was like, that's hot. Because I'm a powerful woman. Also, he doesn't want kids, which is really helpful.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
It's like, it is rough being one of the only women in town without 19 things hanging off of them, begging them for something. But, you know, I manage.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Do they have rooms that were just designed for a fairly new religion's temple? Probably not. Do they get to fuck their wife in a temple-themed bedroom? Probably not.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Yeah, but they're also giving him something by giving him that listing because I didn't have to do that. Although it is going to save them a bunch of money, so I get it.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Who does that? I think a lot of these homes, too, are just house of cards type things where they're just like built with $5 because they're so huge. And I just think they're probably all missing something, you know? Yeah. It's like, here's a bathtub. Doesn't have a drain yet. We'll worry about that at some point.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Even though she knows the family just gave him this listing. She's so kooky. Okay, so now at Sarah's house, Jen's on her way. And we see her husband, who is also so gooberfied. I mean, my God, this one has, like, a little DuckTales thing. He's, like, bald, but then has, like, a little DuckTales flop in the front of his hair and really thick eyebrows penciled in.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So Jennifer comes and she's like, yeah, Jennifer Yo comes and she's like, wow, your house, it's high on a hill. Wow. And there's no cell service. So that's great. Yeah. She doesn't walk in and say, wow, what a beautiful home. I mean, at least fake it, but she's like, wow, you're pathetic. So you don't need cell service here. Okay.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
yeah so then um she's uh sarah's doing this like prayer thing she's like i am praying and confessional so then um jennifer's like okay well guys let's have a seat i feel a lack of transparency you guys i put my neck out for sarah to be an independent woman and all of a sudden two of my brokers 14 of my agents which are my top producers i mean it just feels like poaching chris it feels like poaching and chris is like
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
This is another trip through Mormonism, which is just weird as ever. And you know what? It's not specifically Mormonism. Mormonism is weird to us because we're not Mormon, but it's odd to us. It's different to us. But it's not that it's so weird. It's just highly religious people to me are just so fucking weird. And I'm from highly religious people.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Mm hmm. Well, it's none of those things, Jen. And agents come and go. And that's never fun. Am I right, Jen? Doesn't that just suck when agents come and they go?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And I like that Chris was like, we're going to get over here and give her some real answers. And then she comes there and he's like, yeah, sometimes things happen. That's my answer for you.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Yeah, it was pretty fun. So I'm interested to see where it goes. We're interested to see what you guys think. Thank you so much for listening to this. We'll be putting some more episodes up in the coming weeks. This one, we will probably release. This will be a two-parter, but we'll probably release it while we're, um, gone as well on the Christmas break, just so you don't get offended.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
But it won't be for weeks and weeks. Anybody else gets to hear it. But the rest of them will all be patrion. And we thank you so much for being here, guys. Thank you so much.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
My dad will still pray tongues over a Golden Corral meal like he does not give a shit. you know, like they're, they're still pretty highly religious.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And even that's a little odd to me just cause I, I, I'm not a practicing highly religious person, but just seeing people so entrenched in religion cracks me up, especially when they're like fish faced, you know, everybody's got crazy faces and like big fake boobs and big fake butts. And the guys have like those crazy faces and boobs too. And then you've got everybody like, well, I mean,
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
and i'm more than that but i don't agree with it so i don't really follow it so you're not mormon so just stop being a fucking hypocrite and lecturing to everybody else about mormonism when you're not even doing it you're just doing it because you need the context you guys are all lisa barlows i don't want to hear it from you but i guess you have to in that town right what like say you're more like mormon mormon mormon enough have like a toe in mormonism so that way you don't lose your business yeah yeah
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Yeah. I get it. Most people would call that selling out, but I guess if it's to Joseph Smith, it's okay. Like, I don't know. I mean, listen, we see it in every religion.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Book now at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor. How annoying is it to have to switch apps to watch your favorite movies and videos? Different logins, forgotten passwords. Well, not anymore.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Sold out on SLC. I do have a question. Yeah. Soul. Soul sold on SLC. I do have a question, though, as well. What is the grammar? Is that correct grammar? Sold on SLC. I don't get it.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I was like sold in SLC.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
you know miami or wild on cancun they're just like just call it she just passes out before the full title they're like oh yeah guys why did we come up with a three-word title tara reed passed out after the second word guys she gets two words out and then she burps the third can we just just get one word title how about that just call something and put her on you know
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Okay. So here we go. So we're doing this show, Salt Lake City. So we get a sweeping overhead shot of Salt Lake City. And we hear a voiceover of Jennifer Yao. She's like, I'm Jennifer Yao, a CEO of Presidio Real Estate. And when I started the brokerage, I couldn't even afford a printer! A printer! Can you believe it?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
And last year, we sold $1.2 billion, which is why I'm wearing a lime green paper mache...
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
cardboard box what did she 3d print her dress i don't understand these dresses that are like ribbed what are they what would you call it i call them paper mache ribbed craziness um is is it the ones that are sort of like wait i've got to go look up a picture of her they're like structural yeah if i remember correctly it's like a
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
draped but structured right right it's like draped but paper mache they look fucking crazy on people they give you no form it looks like you're wearing a science fair project they're like they're crazy and uh it's also salt lake city so anybody who is uh expecting selling sunset no no no oh is this is this the image is this the picture of her wearing the green thing where it's like the green swirl in the middle it looks like yes you're like it's like a swirl dress and it comes up like a wave
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
So, she couldn't afford a printer. And now look, you guys. And we see shots of the cast. Now, this is not selling Santa. Selling Santa is a very glossy, everybody's dressed to the nine. This is like that, but with polyester and...
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
But I like it because I used it as a major tragedy on this show. As we're featuring a Toyota. But it's trauma. It's our trauma dump of the show. And guess what? We want you to feel sorry for the cutest, most failing upward white guy of all time. Squish face, squish.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Yeah, all three. Who's always frowny. They're like, meh. They're like walking back and forth. They're like all frowny. They're like, we're mad mushrooms.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Why do we even have them?
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Well, I'm surprised she's not like, I'm Jennifer Yeo, CEO of Presidio Real Estate.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
But still. But yeah, it's a good idea. And she does do stuff like that. She makes like little turns of phrase like that. So I am surprised that she didn't go all the way. But we'll see. I have faith in her. Not her fashion. Or her face. Or her business, really. But she's never shot. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. No, I'm not. I'm not giving her anything.
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#2670 Sold on SLC 0101 “There’s No Business Like Yeo Business”
Okay, so now we see the cast turning to the camera. And they're mostly in polyester. Which I was like, guys, I get that it's like a pilot. Maybe this was a sizzle reel. I don't know. But you're posing on a snow slope. Maybe at least move up to rayon. You know what I mean? Like, this is bad. This is like anti-Josie polyester levels of lesbian. All of you.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Is it like suggesting that men are less creative with names, therefore drag kings just have to have stupid names? It's like, hi, I'm Ronnie Dick. I'm Ronnie Penis.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
When things confuse me, I just kind of black them out. And I think that's what happened. Because a lot was happening. There was the Drag King performance, which was confusing. And then there was Ashley taking off her top during the performance. Because then I started thinking, well... I mean, I guess you guys do your own thing, but like drag queens, what if a drag queen pulled out their dick?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I mean, that would just ruin the whole thing. I don't think you're supposed to do that. So then that confused me. And then the third thing that really confuses me, and we all know it confuses me, boobs. I mean, it took a long time to talk when I was a child, and I think it's because they kept putting boobs in my face. And I think it just kept confusing me.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And Wendy's like, so basically, Gordon told Ray that everything Mia has been telling us is all lies. And Jacqueline's like, well, guys, let me tell you, as someone who is Mia's best friend of all time, Gordon lies a lot, too. So let's just not leave it on Mia. What the hell kind of defense is that? You're supposed to say Mia's not lying. Jacqueline, not other people also lie.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
She does do that thing where she's like, I'm your best friend when Mia's around. And if she's not called Mia's best friend, she has a fit. But then the second Mia leaves, she always betrays her. Always. Standard. Standard. I like it.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Gordon could still be a nutcase. I mean, we shouldn't call it a nutcase because they're talking about like serious, like actual diagnosed things. So I don't mean that. The show was the one that said nuts. But yeah, I mean, he can still have episodes and she can also be a liar, you know.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
disasterly as disasterly did i just move put disaster did i just do dastardly and disaster together i think you were dastardly i think you got um you got brainwashed with bronwyn's that was dastardly so now you're bringing it up from bringing it into normal conversation you're like i'm not gonna say dastardly i'm not gonna do it but you tried to
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
All right. Well, you know, when you're done, you know, with your phone call with the pot, give me a call. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I just did my place all mid-century modern, and I got the most beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home. So now let's go to lunchtime with Giselle, Ashley, Karen, and Kay. And they're at a place called The Saga.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Well, why was it so important in Panama? I mean, how did it affect your trip?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I was like, oh, Jesus Christ. Not about your stupid, boring-ass, plain-ass boyfriend. So, here we go. And sure enough, what else does she talk about? I couldn't be friends with this person. Like, I think she's, like, beautiful. I think she dresses fabulously. But you know what? It's episode 16 of her second season. She's officially dead. Yeah.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Last year was diarrhea and almost getting her head bonked with a champagne bottle and then getting a scar from a wine glass. Okay, so that's good enough. So, I can see why they'd give her another chance. But if you're going to get someone in a physical fight a chance, they have to have the other person that they fought with to have a storyline. Because otherwise, it's like, oh, you got hit.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Which they can't say either because she's mad about her scar. Yeah. And now she's just talking about Greg not wanting her to be on the show. Now, I know that people are going to jump on me for this, but isn't that his right to not want to be on the show?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I feel like if I had a partner and they were like, I want to be on a reality, which first of all, that's crazy to even think of me with a partner. But if I did, and they were like, I want to be on a reality show. And I said, I don't want to be on a reality show. I think that would be my right to not want to be on a reality show. I mean, these people tear you apart. We are the people.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
He's not. He walks away and he's not really on the show a lot. And he'll walk away more next year, probably. Although I think that guy's kind of a drama queen. I can understand why he wouldn't want to be on the show. I mean, there's a lot of people on these shows that are like, I'm not going to do it. Mary's husband doesn't do it. And there are a lot of husbands who refuse to film.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Giselle never shows anything. I mean, what the hell?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Right. But even the nice guys get ripped apart. Even the nice partners get ripped apart on the show. It's just the nature of being on the housewife show. Like no one gets out of there unscathed. Right. So I think it would be John Barlow. John Barlow has gotten people ragging on him constantly because
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
People are always talking about what a piece of shit and a wussy is and a cuck and this and that and this and that over and over again. No one makes it out of these shows unscathed. Look, I just think it's smart as a partner. And this isn't even talking about Greg specifically because Greg does come off as a total asshole.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
But I guess what's starting to kind of bug me about Kierna is I feel like what he's saying is like, you do this show and I'll support you doing on the show, but don't drag me into it as far as making me look stupid. And every single time he's on camera, she's like, we need to talk about our relationship because you're not treating me right.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And you just see his face and you see it in this episode where he's like, really? Like, I'm doing another scene with you and now you're going to talk about what a piece of shit I am again. Now, does Greg seem like a piece of shit? Sure does. I don't like his whole men do this and women do that. I don't like it.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I think that she should leave him and stop being so desperate and just clinging on to him because he's a man who wants to get married. I think that's a huge thing that we see. I see it in my friendships all the time with men and women who are just like, This is it. This is my last chance. So I'm going to make it work. And it never works, you know, when that's your idea going in.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
But I do think that he's kind of an asshole from what we've seen on the show. So I'm not even going to argue in his favor. Like, he's not an asshole. I'm just saying I don't think it's that bad that he doesn't want to get on the show. And every single time he's on camera, she's like, now we have to talk about what an asshole you are. And I'm just like, at this point, I'm just like, come on, man.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
This is kind of unfair. It's starting to seem a little unfair to me.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Well, he definitely should be better at faking it and being able to just be like, okay, you want to talk about our relationship? I love you, honey. And, you know, I support you no matter what. Like, he should at least be able to fake it, but he can't fake it. I mean, he's just like, fuck this. Get me out of the car, you know.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I don't know. But Karen, this whole thing, like her whole storyline is I'm with a man who doesn't want me to be on the show, which is weird because it's meta in the first place. But it's like literally every scene is you talking about how he doesn't want you to be on the show. Yet here you are on the show. And the only thing you have to talk about is him not wanting to be on the show.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Like, do something else. Like, Jesus Christ, your prop doesn't work, you know?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
This one affects the partner and makes him look stupid on national TV and puts them up in a place that they're going to be knocked down and criticized by the public. So it's not really the same as like, I'm so sick of being a lawyer's wife and having to go to lawyer functions. You know what I mean? They're boring. It's not. It's like a little more than that. I don't know.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I just feel like that guy's an asshole and she should leave him despite the fact that he doesn't want to do the show because I think she's just settling. And settling never works. Well, settling does work sometimes. She's definitely settling. Yeah, but she's settling and I want better for her. But also, I feel like it's kind of unfair to be dragging your partner if they don't want to.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
If he doesn't want to, that's his choice. Leave him alone at this point. My God. And also, leave me alone. Like, I'm sick of watching him. I don't like him. He's not likable. He's an asshole. Stop putting him up for me to watch. Get better men, you know? Like, do something else. Get better casting in your own life.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Yes, she needs to dump this guy. He's not worth her time.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
This is the talk. They're like, oh, my God, blah, blah, blah. Your boyfriend doesn't want to be on the show. Okay, so then Giselle's like, look, you know, if he's not capable of supporting you, he's never going to support you. And that's true. And Karen's like, you know, Greg makes her feel small, and that's a red flag.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
and Giselle's like, if you were my daughter, I would be telling you everything that you are. Don't let a man ever take that from you, ever. And also, ring cams are cameras, and I can see when you are sneaking men in. So please stop. Yeah.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And this is another example of one partner just wanting to come fake a good happy relationship, which is Mia, and the other partner, like, messing up their plans, which I kind of was cracking up at this.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And then Ink's like, so... You know, I don't know if Gordon mentioned it, but he did text me about the paternity test and mentioned that you had the results a couple of weeks ago, and he hoped you shared those results with me. So, I don't believe he took a test. And she's like, um. Because he's thinking, how could you take a paternity test, find out I'm not the father, and not tell me?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
It's been two weeks, so he must be lying, right? And she's like, um.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I mean, that was uncool. excuse me, you're the one who's been having an affair for years and thought you got impregnated by another man. I don't think that you have any ground to stand on as far as the doing it behind my back comment, ma'am.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
We know why he did it. I thought that Mia thinks she has to explain to us why Gordon would get a paternity test.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And he's like, yeah, I just want boundaries. And she's like, well, I'm exhausted. I don't want to do it anymore. But you just said that you're not going to create any boundaries with Gordon, too. So they're also fucked. This relationship's also fucked. So then we go to Stacy at the Humane Rescue Alliance. And she's going to have a Strut for Strays event coming up.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Strut for Strays. So, she's like, I've loved animals since I've been on this planet. So, I'm an ambassador to the Humane Rescue Alliance. So, basically, they're going to have a fashion show. People partnered with a dog walk kind of thing, like a dog walking fashion show, which I know is a thing.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
But we also know from the previews at the very beginning of the season that this is how dog poop ends up everywhere. And this is how the season ends with people slipping on dog poop.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Vivian's got her work cut out for her, that's for sure. She's like, you know, I've come out with lots of dresses. I just had to cut holes where the poop hole is. Yeah.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Yeah, I mean, basically, Stacey started out as the season as a character who would call people out for having bunions on the counter, and then she changed her character. And so I think that that's pretty much as far as Stacey went.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
So now they're talking about the lawyer's office. And Stacey's like, I'm feeling so good about my mediation. I'm going to get nothing for the rest of my life. And my daughter will probably be cut off the second that my husband gets a new wife. So I'm feeling great.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And then we see Ashley's attorney who's like, do you want to really get a divorce or don't you? Because you're wasting my time. Let's divorce this fucker. Let's do it.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
So she's saying basically a vanilla claim is when you're nice with each other and a spicy claim is her like, well, you cheated and you did this. And so basically she's kind of threatening him. Like, do you want to have a nice divorce or do you want me to out all your craziness?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Yeah, and that's what Ashley says. She's like, oh, well, what if he gets remarried? She's like, well, even if he gets remarried, Arabella is still our daughter. And she's like, but this is right for me, Ashley. Trust me. Cut to next year. And she's like, can somebody go donate to Arabella's Amazon wish list for her school supplies?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And Ashley's like, yeah, this girl's unemployed and she's dating a guy who's an under five actor. So, she needs to get her money, you know? So then she's like, I promise. I know him. I know Arabella. I know him and I know Arabella and our situation is good.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Investing involves risk. Acorn Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash cravens. We go on a lunch date with Kiana and Greg. And Greg starts off like, well, I'm glad it's not too hot. She's like, yeah, I'm glad we can reset. And he's like, mm-hmm. And she goes, you know what I mean? He's like, mm-hmm.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
She's like, because it's been so overwhelming for us. And he's like, mm-hmm. And she's like, we need to talk about our relationship. And he's like, oh, fuck. I'm surprised he didn't just stop the car and get out and just start walking on the shoulder of the road.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
So she's like, don't get upset with me, but we did have an argument, right? Yeah. And he's like, why do we have to talk about this on camera? And she's like, okay, so you don't want to talk about it? You know he doesn't want to talk about it. So he's just like ignoring her and getting more harumphy. And she's like, okay, then I guess you don't. Fine. And he's like, Jesus Christ!
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Who doesn't know how to open menus, you know? Well, it's just like so much wrong. Or doors. Yeah. There's just so much wrong with this. I mean, Kierna basically has a dream, a dream to be in a potato sack race, but there's no one to be in the potato sack with her. She can only enter as a two-person thing. Are those potato sack races where you both put one leg in the potato sack? Yeah.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Well, what's the one where they have your legs tied together?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And she wants to be in the three-legged potato sack race, okay? And she doesn't have anybody to be in the three-legged potato sack race with her.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Well, that's true. Yeah. I mean, the millions he must make from all that social work. Yeah, exactly. So anyway, the most lucrative business there is social work.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And she's like, well, to me, that's a struggle. And he's like, yeah, and that's noticeable. But, you know, sometimes you should just go with the flow. Just calm the fuck down. That's all I'm saying. Oh, my God. Okay, this is why Greg doesn't want to talk on TV. Because someone told him, Greg, don't talk. You sound like an asshole every time you open your mouth. You were an asshole. Don't talk.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And so he's just like, I'm not going to talk. Because look at what he says the minute he opens his mouth. Literally everything he says is wrong. This guy is a train wreck. So he's like, you know what every woman wants to hear? Calm down.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
So he's like, yeah, because why wouldn't we try to make it work? Otherwise, it's a waste of time, right? So then she goes on and on about how she's disconnected. Kierna, you're disconnected because you're with someone you shouldn't be with. You're with a man in flip-flops. You're in a ball gown, okay? And so she's like, you know, joining the show is important to me.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Then either join it single or get somebody else to do it. You can't join couple skate as yourself, okay? You need a partner who is also in a glittery outfit and tights.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I'm starting shit. I'm just starting a lot of this stuff.
Watch What Crappens
#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
One of Bravo's favorite storylines is someone who's happily married and has everything and then it tanks. So they need her to like be happy for one season probably and then it can tank and they'll be fine, you know?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
So then she's talking about the whole episode because it's just so frustrating, you know? So then it's frustrating actually. So then she says, um, you know, I feel like I have valid feelings and they're being dismissed because I don't dismiss your feelings. She's like, uh, but that's how I feel. It goes, but I don't, I don't dismiss your feelings. Okay. So let's order.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I do not dismiss your feelings. Seriously. Like, uh, that's kind of what you just did three times in a row. Literally doing it.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
He's like, your feelings are school. Yeah, he's like, your feelings are school, and it's 3.30, and the bell has just rung. So you're dismissing them? I didn't say that. It's time for your feelings to go. Do you want something to drink?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
So then we go to Vivian's store. Anya by Vivian. I never realized it was called Anya by Vivian.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
What if it was Enya by Vivian? And every time you went in to get a store, Vivian's just like, I don't know why you're sad. I'm so excited. Everyone's going to come in and look fabulous. And Vivian's like, well, here's what I like to do for fashion shows.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Well, you know, this is a store fashion show. This is like a posh fashion show. They ain't got no shit for that. My mom used to do those in the junior league. And we used to have to go see my mom do fashion shows. She still does them. I think she just did one last year for like Dillard's. And all the ladies in the country club just wear a dress.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And then they walk down the aisle and everyone's like, yes! I don't think anybody actually buys the dresses or anything, but, you know, that's cute.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Yeah. So just go with the general face, you know, there's Ben's general face. Okay. Look at Ronnie.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
TJ jumps in and he's like, we need eight ounces of blood stat. This isn't ER, TJ. Okay. Objection!
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
So then she's like, and then there's Karen. So we get Karen's text. And it's like, congratulations. I regret that I cannot attend your stupid fashion show, but I'll do with your comments and your actions at Ashley's last event. We can discuss it later. But at my dear friend's place of business, it's not the appropriate setting to discuss it. You can count on my supporting your charity.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I will be there with bells on, but I will not be in your fashion show.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
So then Wendy and Ashley come, and they're talking about how Ashley had a dick the other day, and they loved it. And so she's like, well, do you want to know who your date is for the evening? And then she shows them pictures of dogs and stuff. And now they start shit-talking Mia. Yeah. And Karen, basically. Stacey's like, well, we only have 10 people on the show.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
But Karen sent a message and said, well, I support your charity. I cannot walk in the event. So I don't think she's participating in the show.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
My gorgeousness is going to confuse everyone. Don't stare at me too long. You'll turn into salt. Okay, so here we go. Let's get into some Real Housewives of Potomac. Yes. This is almost the season. How is this not the season finale? Honestly, it's episode 16. End it. Cut the cord. Nothing has happened.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Oh, yes. And so she's like, surely that can't be it. And Wendy's like, you went to coddle Mia. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. So she's like, yeah, but then I understand why Wendy doesn't, or I understand why Karen doesn't want to be a part of it. And she's like, but it's not in my nature to stand there and watch someone be berated.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And she's like, I do stand up for Karen. Like the time I said, there's no way she could be drunk. There's no way she could be drunk driving. There's no way. And they're like, well, but you didn't stand up for her when Mia said it at the event. Dun, dun, dun. So, whatever. And Giselle's like, well, Karen, we just got a text. She said, I'm excited.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I'm looking forward to seeing all of you tomorrow at Vivian's store. And Karen's like, what are we doing? Oh, so this is when the text invite went out. So, they were all at lunch. And Giselle's like, yeah, we got a text saying that we're going to be at Vivian's store. And Karen's like, really? What are we doing at Vivian's store? My friend Vivian. You know, the store called... Vivian by Karen.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Yeah. And she's like, yeah. And we all have, I know you have a relationship, but Vivian has been introduced to this group through Karen. And if you didn't have the respect enough to say, you know what? Hey, Karen, you know what? I'm going to use Vivian. And she's like, so I have to tell Karen that I'm going to do a fashion show with Vivian? And she's like, yes.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And the fact today that we're at Vivian's store and you didn't say, hey, Karen, just FYI, I'm inviting the girls to her shop. Yeah.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
She's right. Karen's being ridiculous. She doesn't need your permission to do a fashion show with Vivian. Vivian's a friend of on this show. She's a cast member. So if Vivian wants to promote her stuff, she's going to do an event with somebody who wants to promote her stuff. That's ridiculous.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Well, that's not why, huh? Well, but that's kind of what you just implied, right? So she's like, oh, it's also because I didn't speak up. And she's like, well, I don't like the fact that you rolled any of this out. And because you didn't say to any of us, would you like to be on the runway holding an animal? You did not do that. What if I'm traumatized by animals? That's our new argument.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Well, I was actually shocked. I didn't think that you were even into charities. Don't, don't, don't. How dare you? How dare you, ma'am? Insinuating that I'm not into charities. Charities are my hobbies. They're my life. I go to bed. I don't even masturbate to porn. I think of charities.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Giselle throws everybody out of her charity and then gets mad when they didn't donate. By the way, I'm not donating to your charity either because it's not just for brain trauma. It's for GNA. And how much money of that goes to GNA, your stupid business that does nothing? And then how much of it does actual go to a charity? You're not getting my money either, lady.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Come to my Spanx and Alzheimer's charity. No, that's not how it works.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Going down. It's Shasha. So, Stacey's like, but do you have any of those traumas? And she goes, a bit. She's like, so wait, you got bit by a dog? And she goes, yes, when I was little. Yeah. This is Giselle's best moment of the season, by the way. This shit was hilarious.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And Stacey's like, well, I just assumed we were all like-minded. We are not. She's like, well, clearly. Well, thank you for supporting. You don't have to walk the show. So she knows that she's in trouble because she stood up for Mia. And she's like, Karen seems to want the only friends. Karen wants to only be friends with people who blindly follow her no matter what.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And then we see a clip to Karen two months ago saying, who's my real friend? I want to see who real soldiers are for Karen Huger, because I certainly don't want any fake bitches around me.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And fucking Eddie. Okay, look, I get that we come on this show to get our brands out there, and I get that everybody on this show will wear a baseball cap with their brand, but Eddie is ridiculous. He's like wearing a face mask. He's wearing just a bag over his face that says Happy Eddie. He's literally wearing a shirt that's like...
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Well, Giselle's just like, it's the finale. We've done nothing. I'm just going to start fights over nothing. You know, she's like, I've done this for long enough that it's my ninth year. I'm just going to start fights with the nicest person on the cast. Just because. Like, you didn't want me to be a villain? Fine. The show tanked. So, I'll be a villain now.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
That's going to be an awkward interview. She's going to be like, so, when did you become press secretary? When did you become press secretary? What's it like working in the White House? What is it like working in the White House? You're interviewing a questioner.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Yeah. So, Stacey's like, so, what's happening, girlfriend?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I mean, you know, it's just part of his condition. He can't help it. You know, mania.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Well, not to mention that you were the one who said on national TV that that kid isn't Gordon, but you don't like him sharing the real paternity. I'm so sorry, Mia. It must be really difficult for you. The fuck? This lady's fucking crazy.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Well, it's funny that you say that, because when I met with Karen before, I was introduced to this group. Karen specifically told me things about you and how I should avoid you. So, look, Stacey may act like a dummy, but we know that that's a character because we saw her original character the first three weeks on this show. So, we know that she's changed her character.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And now she's going to show you who you're really dealing with. She's like, okay, you want to fuck with me? I'll sick Mia on you and literally everybody else. And Wendy. She's like, I'm going to sick Mia and Wendy on you. So, she starts with Mia. And she's like, she said I should avoid you because you're not Potomac. And she's like, well, is it Potomac to be a drunk driving swinging on bar stools?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
You know, it's like her last inning attempt. And I appreciated it. I was laughing. Just to watch Stacey get so...
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Is it Potomac to crash your car into trees and get repeated DUIs? Because I haven't been accused of that. So what exactly is Potomac?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
So then we go back to lunch and Mia's like, does Wendy know? And she's like, no. And Wendy stands up for Karen over and over again. And then we see flashbacks of Wendy being team Karen all season, which she has been. And, um, You know, granted, Wendy's just kind of out of allies. When Karen invited Wendy to Surrey County, that was kind of a shocker.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
But I think they were like, all right, Karen, you need to invite at least three people or people weren't talking to her. I don't know. It's kind of an alliance friendship, right? Wendy and Karen. I guess that's what I'm getting at. But I think Wendy is really making an effort and Karen is just still shit talking her behind her back.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C, Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kerr.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay B. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Yeah, she exasperated is what I meant. I mean, what you said, not exacerbated. I don't know why I said that. But yeah, I think it's hard for people to appreciate her as much as she deserves only because she's on kind of like a season that's not great. So she's great, but she's on a season that's not great. So she's not getting her proper flowers, you know?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Yes, we're in paternity test fights today. That's where we're at. So Karen's like, well, this is cheese, baby. That's what he said. It was very, very clear. And Mia's like, Gordon may have known sooner, but I only found out a week ago because the tests were going through many, many layers of Gordon mania.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And Stacey's like, this is an ambush. For Karen to hijack Ashley's event? To attack Mia? It was just inappropriate. It felt mean-spirited. It's just not right. That's not what friends do.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
So, of course, Mia goes to the lowest hanging fruit, which is, You're a drunk driver.
Watch What Crappens
#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
You've got every man in town deciding to open his dick up to you. I've never heard that phrase, men opening their dick up to you. What the hell does that mean?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Yeah. So Kierna is like, oh, my God, this is just too much, Mia. You know, we shouldn't be discussing this. So they all start going back inside because, you know, it's a very classy event. They're at a drag king event. So they're like, don't discuss it at the drag king event. It's very classy. Can I just take a moment? Like, I try not to feel sorry for people because really, what does it do?
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I mean, it doesn't really. I mean, if people need some help, help them, you know, or give some empathy if they need it. But general feeling sorry for people, it doesn't help anybody, you know. So I try not to do that because I find it condescending. I find it to be condescending to do that. But can I just say, I do feel so bad for drag kings. They really get the short end of the stick.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
No pun intended. I mean, these guys, they have a show. They can't even have a drag king show. Have you ever been to a drag queen show when there's drag kings brought on? I haven't. So can the drag kings just have their own show? Why do they have to have drag queens hosting it? Have a drag king show if you're going to do a drag king.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
thing you know i mean inclusivity is great but we don't give you the you know we like i'm a drag queen we drag queens don't give you the same you know they don't let you in their shows i mean maybe they do in some i'm not saying it never happens but in general they don't even get their own shows come on man let's be kinder to drag kings
Watch What Crappens
#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
So, yeah, we start getting Ashley's getting ready, you know, and she's like, no, I have a package, you know, so I'm more prepared.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
And molasses like, wow, I'm getting a little shy, Ashley. So, you know, coaching Ashley, just have fun, Ashley, just have fun. And so she's like, it's my first drag show. So meanwhile, Stacey's telling Mia, don't leave. Don't leave the drag show. It's the classiest event in town. Mia's like, I'm not going to be around anybody who's going to question my life and is not going to support me.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Mia, stop doing questionable things. I mean, Jesus Christ, you fucking liar. Mia's such a compulsive liar. And then when she gets called out, this is how she acts.
Watch What Crappens
#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Experience the convenience of having your favorite subscriptions in your Prime Video account with one login and one password.
Watch What Crappens
#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
She didn't come on TV claiming that the guy is not the father. That's why you have to clarify. You were the one who did this. Nobody else did this, you weirdo.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I love when Mia said, do we have to clarify that Raven is actually fucking Rey's? Because that shit is actually questionable. It is not. Raven has Rey face. Everybody knows it. Rey could do some Grey stippling on her face and pass as Rey. She's literally Rey. She's tiny peanut version of Rey. You want to talk about painting a peanut, stipple Raven and watch her walk around as Rey. Yeah, exactly.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
Well, when you talk about someone's children, you bring it to their mother. You don't bring it out in front of everybody at a drag king show. And so Stacy's like, I'm sorry, Karen. I stand by it. And then Wendy is here. to announce, everybody, Jassy's here. And so Jassy's like, hi, and then they cut her out of the rest of the episode.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
Watch What Crappens
#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
One time she told me, you've got time to drink, you've got time to clean the sink.
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#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
I've never been more excited to be anywhere in my life.
Watch What Crappens
#2705 RHOP S9E16: Doggy Styles
So Crystal Edge, the drag queen, you know, she's like, I'm four tequila shots deep, and I have duct tape residue on my taint.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
She's like, I have extravagant birthdays. Like last year I was in a club in New York. It was so crazy. Everyone came and then we got like really wild. And then we got kicked out of the club, which was like crazy. But now I'm like in my house. So I can't get kicked out of my mom's house for having too much fun.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Lake's like, yeah, just looking around to make sure guys have their shirts on. Because, you know, manners. Like, we're really big on manners in this house. Okay. Yeah, let's just wait and see how long that lasts. And she's like, yeah. So, Dad, I was telling them I was named after the lake. And her dad's like, yeah, I made Lakey at this lake.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
But speaking of manners, he's like, yeah, I fucked her mom. You know, I inseminated her mother at this place. God, that was good.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
We were going to name her Lake or Spray and Pray. Couldn't really figure out which one. Glad we went with Lake. It's easier to find on the keychain.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Blow dry your hair. Do you blow dry your hair?
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Joe said he would fuck his sister. Dude, could you stop throwing me under the bus for like five minutes? What? Sorry. Sorry, I had a weak moment.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So now they're applauding. Joe's like, everybody clap for the booger bath, okay? Brad's like, yeah, I appreciate it. I got dressed up for you, Lake. And she's like, yeah, he's hot. And then Emmy takes one pick at the chicken. She's like, I don't think this chicken is cooked through, guys. Guys, I don't know if the wings are cooked. It's Joe. Who did it? Joe did it.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
And Lake's like, Joe, you don't know how to cook chicken? She's mortified.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So Lake's like, I don't mind a little salmonella. And Molly goes, honestly, salmonella is a really pretty name if it wasn't what it was. And then she looks right at Austin and she goes, same with chlamydia. Are you flirting?
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Oh, good. Yay. Her mother in celebration sent her five Big Macs and said, might as well.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So now everyone's like, oh my God, Joe and TJ just talked. This is crazy. So then we get, like, little flute music playing for some reason. And Maddie's like, baby steps. So Molly's asking if Emmy talked to Will today. It's like, yeah, of course I did. Every day. He's my person. I just dialed 1-800-MY-PERSON. It's Will. Never had to pay a dime for those calls. He's a lawyer, you guys.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Do you guys need anything highlighted? Because he's, like, smart.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
This is kind of Peter and the Wolf because we got the flute music for TJ and Joe. And now Emmy is talking, so they just start playing a tambourine. I don't think I've ever heard as a music cue for a character in one of these shows, but it actually works for me because it's just like shaky, like everything's OK. I'm on the beat. It's like you never are, you know.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
i don't know i feel like you gave me the run around let me tell you i felt really unheard um okay guys i don't feel comfortable having this conversation at this table so let's just like stop it right now because like will really likes me and he likes his outfit so please no more of this conversation but the thing is like it involves all of us so you just don't know it yet so like we should all talk about it
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Michael's like, yeah, because like everyone at this table really cares about you, even the unheard people. And we want to make sure you're OK. I mean, we're going to put it in writing now. So maybe you'll read it since you won't listen to people.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
That's what I meant. Okay, look, guys, guys, let me put it this way. I go home at night, Will's my safe person, okay? And that's it. Look, we're totally great.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Hilarious. Okay, he came to me right after Republic, and he told me immediately what he said to you guys, what he said to Siobhan, what he said to Michaels, what he said to the guy who brings the ice back and forth from the ice place to the other place, to the guy who cuts the letters for the sign. You know, I mean, all of you, pretty much. Does that include everyone?
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Leva, Leah, you know, everybody. And just like, well, what'd he say? He said that he can't make me happy and that I work out too much. I mean, big deal.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Bang, bang, bang. She starts banging the table and she's like,
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So I'm not comfortable having a conversation without Will. And Michaels goes, relax. And she's like, ah. She gets up and like tosses a chair. And he's like, calm. Let's just be calm. Do not get aggravated.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Sing. And Lake goes, oh, great. It's about me. Well, happy birthday to Lake.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Everyone was in on it and they said you said I'm not the love of your life and you're not happy. I mean, what the hell, Will? And he's like, this is bullshit. None of that was ever said. Hold on. Let me just write something down. Objection. Got it. Okay, sorry. Just working on a case, babe. Just working on a case.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So then back at the table, Maddie's like, oh, you guys, I'm going to go talk to her because she should be able to talk to a girl.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So, yeah, I was hoping it would be different because it's not just a rumor this time. Like, everyone confirmed it. Everyone's doing it. And Molly's saying, well, I don't know why he's talking about anyone's body. He's not sitting over there with an eight pack like Austin. Fucking chlamydia, motherfucker. Get over here. Austin's like, shing.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So Emmy comes out, like, just covered in mascara. She's, like, covered. She's a mess. She's like Tammy Faye in it. And Will's like, I'm just so disappointed in these boys. Like, they had a five-minute conversation with me at Boys Night, and they think they had a conversation with me? And she's like, you just said they had a conversation with you, by the way. And she's like, yeah, but I don't know.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
She's literally crumbled on the floor with mascara on her face.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Yeah, well, like, no, but, like, I think, like, yeah, like, Maddie just, I think, felt, like, I mean, Emmy just, like, fell really alone, okay? I think that's what's going on. And Emmy goes, okay, Maddie gets it. Okay, let me have my moment with Maddie. She hangs up and fell.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
like drops the crying immediately and maddie's like we just want to like love and support you like do you deserve someone that's not going to talk shit about you when you're drunk at a bar like i mean i get it relationships aren't perfect you know like i know the roller coaster of like relationships and like i feel like everyone's like are you okay and like are you better in the relationship are you like better not in a relationship i forgot i know i
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So then Brad and Michaels and TJ go to Emmy's room and Emmy's like, I'm being picked up. And Brad's just saying, look, you know, we care about you. The situation just got to where it was because other people were coming to us, you know, people who don't even care about you. And TJ goes, I mean, it's not that they even don't care about you. We're not even friends with them.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
TJ has such a cute crying voice.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
I don't know what to do. It's like, you're going to fly away. Someone tie him down. Not Joe.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Just trying to be heard. So her phone rings and she's like, Jack, are you here? I'm coming, Jack. And they're like, don't leave. She goes, I am leaving. I am like furious. Like if these were my friends, they would have come to both of us and they would have said, what's going on? And we see a clip of Michaels being like, what's going on?
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Yeah, they would have said, like, Will, I heard you say this. We see a clip of them being like, Will, I heard you say this. They would have said, like, Emmy, are you okay? Multiple clips of people are like, Emmy, are you okay?
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So we see clips of her like having cake and jumping in the pool and throwing shots down throws. And Molly's like, I thought you and Brad were going to make out. No visitors in your bed. She's like, no, I'm not chasing after anybody. You come chase me. And then it cuts to him going, if you want to come and get it.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
She goes, I don't marinate. I just throw them out on the grill.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So then Michaels is trying to text Emmy, but she's not responding. And now Austin comes into the kitchen shirtless and upstages literally everybody else who's ever been shirtless. I mean, good God, man.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Well, he's like the dirty forest one, so he kind of is like the one with the bugs. He's probably got them all over him, you know? Yeah. So Lake just goes, you're so interesting. I love it.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
They're like, oh, OK. So then Madison comes in and she's like, you guys, Joe is in pain because like last night we were racing in the pool and he like hit his head.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
dude, that wall's so rough. Like, am I bleeding? I was like, it wasn't rough. I'm not bleeding. I didn't hit my head. He's like, I did. I almost died, bro.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
It's like a pool lobotomy. Just bings them right in the right spot. It's a pool lobotomy. So Joe's like, my brain is probably bush, but I'm more worried about my face. Because this is my body maker.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So Brad, oh, And rightly is like, he's got to blame someone. It's going to be me and TJ because we're his friends. And he's like, but I'm also friends with Emmy. So what are you going to do? And TJ is like, he might never talk to us again. That would be terrible. I'm sure he thinks we betrayed him. But, you know, like, it just sucks to be in the middle.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So the trip's over. So now we go back to and Joe wakes up with Maddie. He's like, could I use your toothpaste? She's like, you have your own. It's your house. No, your toothbrush. And she's like, but it's your house. You have your own. And he's like, but I like using your toothbrush.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
i've never heard of that ever black so then we see molly working at her wedding place and brad driving around uh trying to call emmy but getting voicemail and then we go to emmy's and will's like have you seen my pink tie because like i'm trying to organize them oh my god it looks so good that's like the best organization i've ever seen will you are so good at that oh my god everybody's texting me michaels well like literally stop
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Yeah, exactly. And also TJ has way fewer options than you, you know, you actually have options out there. So, Emmy's like, well, I haven't talked to anyone because I just don't trust anyone. And I don't believe anyone. My reality has been crushing down around my head. Okay.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
This Saturday, guys. This Saturday. So, I know you've been hearing about it a long time. Rick, that's in the future. It is not. It is now. You're in the now. Live in the now.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
And it's disgusting. It is evil.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Yeah, they are kind of bad friends, though. Would you be pissed if your friends went to your boyfriend and were like, oh, my God?
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So Emmy is like, well, he has a highlighter behind his ear because he's very smart, guys. And he's like, Emmy, you have a dot on your chin. That is hilarious. Like whatever you're doing with your makeup, those first strokes weren't going. And she's like, the first strokes weren't going. That is so sexy. Well, it's like, get your head out of the gutter, girl.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So he's like, yeah, I think me and TJ should talk because, like, we talked a little bit. But, like, he's my best friend, you know? But he's so hostile. So maybe you can text him for me. Just be like, hey, Joe's concussed. He's vulnerable. And then say, hey, TJ, I'm with Joe, and he'd like to meet up with you, you know? Because he blocked me, so I can't do it. He's like, okay. TJ, it's me, Joe.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Do it with, like, a softer voice. He can't hear me, Joe. He can. He can feel it. Trust me. So she texts TJ for him and TJ is like, okay, we should totally get together.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So Joe comes in and he's like, I got you a dirty Kettle One martini with blue cheese olives. He's like, whoa, God, I could stick my dick in you right now.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Why are you crying? So I'm hoping for a real deep conversation and not just surface level because like we have serious issues. So Joe says, okay, well, like, I don't even know like where we, where we begun.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Like our families got, got along like, you know, like, and TJ's like, yeah, cause our family set it off and we were new to the city. So that was pretty much it. Still probably don't have my Starbucks order, but whatever. I'll just suffer in silence over here.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
And he's like, well, in a weak moment, I was going to give you the opportunity to talk about it. But I was like, oh, this is terrible. It's a terrible, terrible apology. But then he's like, I do take full accountability. You told me something in confidence and I should never have repeated that. Skinny matcha iced. What? That's my dream quarter.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
But you know, like the past chatter has hurt our relationship too. You know, the chattering that I did to everybody else about us possibly boating in my bed that time. And so he's like, well, like, look, I mean, look, we don't have to talk about it. It's like a complex relationship. Don't do million times. Like, great, great. Let's hug. Let's hug. Okay. It's over. He's like, no, it's not.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
We're going to have a gay scene. He's like, God damn it. I brought you a blow dryer. All right. I'll do the gay scene. Just go ahead.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
how am I not allowed to talk about something that I went through? Well, cause that's your best friend and you're kind of outing him if he's not out.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
I can't figure it out because I can't tell if they're saying they cuddled. But if you cuddled with somebody, you don't say, like, what's in your bed? And then I touched you. Because no one says that. They say we cuddled. Like, what's the big deal? So I'm just confused. Also, you know, curious.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
And Joe's like this thing when he's nervous, where he wipes his mouth like this, like he takes his whole hand down over his mouth. He's nervous. So let's see. How could you think I'm gay? We will see. I slept with Luann. Any guy would sleep with a gay icon. It's like in the rulebook, so it doesn't count.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Yeah. All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being with us. We will see you later this week in New York City for the Golden Crappies on Saturday night. And following that, we'll be in... Salt Lake City and Denver. So grab your tickets over at Watch What Crappens and we'll talk to you later.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Let's do it. We're still at the Lake Lake house and we get a song.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Know Your Worth with Jason Kerr.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay B. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
And it's pool day at Lake's house. And so they're getting in the pool and stuff like that. Playing games of chicken. TJ's posing for some pictures. And then Joey, Maddie and Michaels have a little talk.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. Give him hell, Miss Noel. Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
We see a flashback of TJ being like, I guess I shouldn't have said that Joe slept with Luann. And Joe's like, yeah, I've been willing to talk to TJ. I've tried, but he won't talk to me back. And then we see clips of that. Like, TJ, you want to talk?
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
TJ, we need to talk. No. TJ, be a man and talk to me. No.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
this week she's like oh my god i'm like not gonna make a move on him like he has to make a move on me first okay but so it's like okay so we have a new lake this episode yeah she's trying on different personalities in every scene it's weird because this one she's that and then we get to the stasi like it's my birthday like we get a little bit of that later on she's just trying on a bunch of different i mean she's young
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Yeah, this is Charleston. A guy bought you dinner, so you should be pregnant by now. And dumped. And Brad's like... Lake and I have already been on a date. We had a little flirting, but at this point, balls in her court. Guys want to be wanted, too. Okay. All right, sir.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So you're dating the guy who's delivering the pastries, and he's drunk, and his boxers are hanging out of the back of his pants. Like that's, that's the show that you're on right now. Okay. This is not, this is not a Chateau in France kind of a show lady. Okay.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Um, also I got kind of jealous cause I was like, wow, I've never had anything like that happen. I mean, to me, if somebody is like, what's your name? I'm like, oh my God, he loves me. That's it. That was the most romantic thing. I've fucked this guy for two weeks and he finally asked my name. You guys, you guys.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Well, he's the first man on this show we've ever seen build anything. That's true. So I'm going to say Team Austin. I'm going to say that right now. So Joe and Maddie are making out in the pool, and TJ's just watching the boat come in. You know, like the old man of the sea, the old vacuuming man of the sea.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Yeah, like, I just want to make sure you're okay. Like, is my friend, like, suffering in her relationship? And then he's like, wow. Wow. Okay. Okay. So I'm laughing because Will's my person and he's my everything. Like, he's my safe space. He's like my Windex when the windows are dirty. Like, he's literally everything. He's a bun to my hot dog.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
He's like, yeah, he just came into the bar and he was like, I'm so miserable. Emmy's anorexic. I'm just in a completely different place than Emmy is. Emmy smells like a toenail that you finally cut after like four months of it needing to be cut. Like Emmy works out 24-7. She only cares about herself and her body. Like, you know. Polly want a cracker. You know what I mean? It pissed me off.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
The level of disrespect. And she's like, come on. Will told me what he said. He totally told me all of that.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
I mean, you don't disrespect somebody who wears a highlighter behind their ear. He's a lawyer. So you might want to back it up. So she tells us, yeah, like, Will told me he vented to his friends. Like, I mean, come on. Like, is law school right for me? Is Emmy right for me? You know, just normal stuff. I knew he was embarrassed about it because, like, I knew he knew I didn't deserve it.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So, like, I forgive him. I forgive him. Like, the end. Roll the credits. It's over now. We're happy. Happily ever after. This is it. This is it.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
well this has nothing to do with will and it's like hurtful for my best friend to like not listen to me and make me feel like i'm not heard michaels you don't love how he switches it around he's like i haven't been hurt in this situation and i'm very hurt it's like let's hide let's hide it i love you i'll always listen to you i will always listen to you don't talk don't talk anymore you're done this scene's over okay great talk bye
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
No. So then in the kitchen, Brad, TJ and Michaels are in there and they're sorting out groceries and stuff. And Brad's like, oh, the fruits are upstairs. Could you go grab those, TJ? I need to have a private conversation with Michaels. So he goes and he goes, don't forget the butt rub. So, you know, I said butt rub. Michaels is like, yeah, the butt rub is like wild.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Okay. hate to break it to you you're all gonna die so i had a conversation with emmy he's like what was it well received no and tj's back now he's like um but did she like listen to you at least he's like no she just like sat there and like laughed about it with a fake smile and i'm like what about this is funny i mean i'm not being heard is there a laugh track there shouldn't be
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
So, Naomi's in the bathroom, like, putting on her outfit, and she's, like, looking at herself in the mirror, talking to Will on FaceTime. She's like, oh, my God, Will, do you like my dress? It looks good, right? It's, like, gold. Don't you like it? He's like, yeah, gold's your... I mean, I guess... it's not silver for you, it's gold. And she's like, yeah, pretty much.
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#2704 Southern Hospitality S03E04: Hitting a Wall
Miss you, miss you, honey, miss you. And it's just a really long pause. The editors put up a timer. It's like, and he doesn't answer. He's like, so how's the lake? She's like, oh my God, it's so good, so pretty. Just called to say I love you. Okay, bye. Oh my God, he liked my dress. Yes.
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#2774 RHOA S16E03 Part Two: Mommy and Mean
okay so um uh porsche so they're just making small talk but then they start talking about how hard it is for porsche to deal with everything that she is dealing with with simon who seemed like such a good person i mean how could simon not be a good person
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#2774 RHOA S16E03 Part Two: Mommy and Mean
Can you get me this autograph for me?
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#2774 RHOA S16E03 Part Two: Mommy and Mean
So all the ladies start coming, and Portia's like, oh my god, my makeup artist is Drew's makeup artist! And Kenny's like, yeah, you already told me that. She's like, yeah, well, so he told her that he was coming to me, and she slowed down in the lane so that he just got to me. She did it on purpose. So it's basically Drew's fault that I'm late.
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#2774 RHOA S16E03 Part Two: Mommy and Mean
And she's like, this is someone who was around baby hot dog. This was someone I trusted. And then you completely turned into a monster. Oh, what a funk.
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#2774 RHOA S16E03 Part Two: Mommy and Mean
Wait a second. Those are two different shows. Even I know that.
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#2774 RHOA S16E03 Part Two: Mommy and Mean
So now Portia's like, Shamia, have you talked to that Angela girl?
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#2774 RHOA S16E03 Part Two: Mommy and Mean
What the fuck is happening over here?
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#2774 RHOA S16E03 Part Two: Mommy and Mean
My other daughter just doesn't want me to go to the hospital. Now I'm trying to copy up again. Can I even do this again? And now Shia has to get her tonsils out.
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#2774 RHOA S16E03 Part Two: Mommy and Mean
He's like, I'm almost done installing the light switches down here.
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#2774 RHOA S16E03 Part Two: Mommy and Mean
And Kenny's like, uh-huh. And you're being talked about like you're a whore. Have some self-respect.
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#2774 RHOA S16E03 Part Two: Mommy and Mean
Tanya was great because the other guy was like, oh, my God, Portia, I love having you in my life.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
doing all the necessary things having the necessary conversation like when she tried to talk with her daughter about the other ladies and she's like why are you talking while dad's making you know 97 pounds of broccolini or whatever or brussels sprouts whatever he was doing she's getting there but she's just not there yet so i expected something a little bit better but she deserved a better tagline but i love her so far i think she is so funny and she's shady and i like that she's like older than the rest because i'm always going to gravitate towards the oldest one in the cast
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
I'm pretty and paid girl. That's not a way to outrun the hooker allegations.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
I feel like if they're all doing it, you can do it. But you can't just be the only rhymey one, you know?
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
I may not be very progressive, but my insurance is.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Okay, so those are the taglines. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Yeah, we used to do that. We used to do two live shows in one night. That was stupid. That's wild.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
We start over at Brit's house, and... Brit's painful, just honestly, just... I don't even think she's done anything all that wrong yet. It's just that... that nose. I just feel so bad. I feel like someone conked her on the nose, and it just permanently flattened it like in a cartoon, and it won't ever... and it's not the look of it, it's just the sound. It hurts my ear. So, um...
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
she's with mike the most uninterested husband of the season every time they show mike he even if he's not chewing on something he's doing that thing where he's like like he does not want to be there he's got an imagined he's got an imagined toothpick in his mouth every single time he talks if you're a dis like if you're the most disinterested husband on this season and this is the same season that has charles oakley and one guy like stuck in a basement
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
No, they're trying to make it like she has her parties all catered. Like, girl, you just had a scene last week where you were talking about your husband not buying you real marble on your finishes. You know what I mean? And this week, she's like, look at us. We have catering every week. And you know she doesn't because the chef is wearing a t-shirt with his brand as big as possible on the t-shirt.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
So you know she's getting this for free. And that's fine, but I don't need a pretend rich person, you know? Exactly. I prefer someone who's like, I'm middle class, but I'm going to be richer than all these ladies.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
And I always think of restaurants because I had a chef when I was working in restaurants one time be like, the funniest thing about lobster, they're the trash of the sea. Everybody knows it. They're not the trash of the sea. That is a lie. They crawl along the sea and eat all the garbage.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
He doesn't eat it now, but he did when he was a puppy. Puppies are the worst poop eaters of all time.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
And he's like, yeah, that's me. So the big conversation here is... we're going to get a real ceremony soon because they had the Vegas wedding or the city hall wedding. And he, listen, this man is not going to spring for your real marble countertop. He is not going to spring for a wedding. This man is cheap. Okay. We know this man is cheap.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
And sometimes that's a great thing because I'll save your money, you know, and I feel like a lot of times on this show, nobody's saving their money, but this man is going to save that money, but she is going to get that ceremony because now it's,
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
a couple of cast members are doing this now she's on reality tv and that's a storyline you know she wants her she's already going to go for a wedding spin-off and then angela oakley later is like oh shouldn't we renew our vows honey and he's like oh for sake no oh i was so sad when she said that i was like but i like you two together i don't want you guys to get divorced
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Now, I would date that motherfucker, yes. That's a man right there.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Or what she kind of refers to, like she kind of insinuates as her champagne room. So they go downstairs and yeah, there's this whole other room because she's trying to do a Shamia now. Like I have a separate room where we can talk. I'm rich too. By the way, I have to just say, Rick Ross is still pretty hot. I mean, he's still hot-ish. Rick Ross is hot?
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
I mean, not hot, but he's, I figured time probably did a number on him, but he still looks the same to me. He has nice furs and gold chains. I'm looking at him right now.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
That you picked up from Nickelodeon and took over?
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Another infinity stone on the meaningless wrist of life.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Or as I used to call him, FSII. Okay. So, um, here we are, Britt is talking about wanting a ceremony and the sister-in-law is like, he better give you one. He's sure cheap. And then Mike's like, uh, can we eat scallops? I'm paying, I'm not paying for those scallops. I don't want to fucking eat them. Get up there. We need to eat strawberry shortcake.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
And then we find out a little bit about Britt and she says, my dad was a huge business professional in the orange industry. No.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Yeah. And so he worked really hard and he left behind when he passed away, he left the mom a $2 million life insurance policy, but she didn't get it because he was in between jobs. So I guess it didn't transfer from. That's crazy. That's crazy.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
I mean, I get the health insurance is like that, but his life insurance like that too.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Guess what we're going to do to make up for it. We're not going to make you sit around. around having no crap and listen to during the week. We're not fucking monsters. So we are going to start by popular demand and we know it's late. We know it's late, but we are going to start doing white Lotus recaps for the final two episodes.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
by the way that's such a that health insurance is tied to your job and you're stuck to your job forever because you can't get health insurance because health insurance is nine million dollars now and covers nothing health insurance how are we not riding in the street other than the fact that i'm exhausted okay well yeah i mean there was they got a little violent there in in december so then um then we had only one person
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
So Brit tells us this kind of weird story about a business. So the dad passed, then she started to go fund me and she doesn't want to ever have to go through that again. So she decided to start her own family business. So she starts a family business with her two sisters, but then they got all pissed off when she decided to sell the family business.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
So was it a family business that you sold out from under them? Or was this a business of yours that you hired them to work at? And then it was your right to sell it because the way she told it, I was like, well, I'd be pissed at you too. You can't just sell their business.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Yeah, so the husband, Michael, is like, get up here and eat this strawberry shortcake. And he goes, it's even got a little lemon twist. And she goes, not a lemon twist. So I was like, yeah, just please at least pretend you've had catering before.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
We're actually going to do a catch up episode today because it was the big, one of the big episodes that everybody's been waiting for a sword fight. That's all I'll say.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
there's stories here i can't wait to hear yeah i want to see these stories too okay so then we go to lunch with porsche and kelly at a place called lock and key which is interesting because i think porsche's been locked out of her house now like five times so i would think this would be a triggering restaurant to take her to but here we are there's a joke in here about ralph in the basement i just haven't quite articulated it yet
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
So Kelly shows up and she's like, well, and it's like the succession music. That's how you know Kelly's coming. It's like the pianos from succession. So she's like, well, I'm not drinking today because this is a scene where they're supposed to hate each other.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
a skin sword fight we've been waiting for it all year and it finally happened so we're going to be talking about that as an extra bonus this week we've already released an airport snaps this week but we'll be doing an extra bonus to entice you guys to sign up because we just love signups but also the final two episodes will be recapped fully on patreon so go over there for that um and then also to make up for those shows being late this week we will start recapping
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
I feel bad that even Balmain, how do you say it? I mean, I don't know. I'm too poor. I think it is Balmain. But she says Balmain so many times. I feel bad that Balmain has to do this kind of an event because it seems sad. Balmain doesn't seem like it should have to do this where they're like, we're going to give 10% of your Balmain to poor people. How about 90%?
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Are you that desperate for sales that you're going to turn this into a fake charity thing?
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Yeah, they're like, we're going to give 10% of this to starving people. Just kidding. We love starving people.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Someone got fired over this. Someone was fired. Someone was fired. Yeah.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Yeah, we've been having a great time. It's been so great meeting so many people. And you guys are so sweet and so funny. Just loving. We're having a great time. You guys are showing us a great time. I don't know how we're doing with you, but you guys are showing us a really great time.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
. . . . ., the, P P P P P P P P P P,實,c,c,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G, ,G, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . a Little E in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in e and. P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P larüG seg seg gi la� gi boà gà gà gà gà gà gà gà gà gà gà gà gà gà
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
And someone brought us key chains for our anti-van for a watch what crap anti-van girl scout cookies. And you guys all treated us well.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
It's like gifts from people who really know us, you know, the true us.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
It also made me super proud because they brought a physical copy of Lonesome Dove, just the one book, not the four in the, not trilogy. What do you call that? A quatragy? I don't know. But I was like, damn, I'm proud of myself that I read so many of these pages, you know? Because I only see it on the Kindle.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Yeah. All right. Let's get going with Real Housewives of Atlanta, Season 16, Episode 3, called High Notes and Cheap Shots.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Well, there are a lot of small gifts for people who are paying attention in this show. And one of them is that whenever the Waffle Queen comes on the screen, she has her own theme music. They play the succession theme music every time she comes on. I did not notice. It is so fucking funny. It's a version of succession they wrote for Karen.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
You know, when Karen had her, oh, it's going to get Surrey Farm. So they play it every time this chick comes on screen. And I laugh out loud every single time. I think it's so funny. Like my waffle dynasty, which kid is going to get the, he's going to get Nana's waffles.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
I like that. I don't know, man. Like you just, you've still got hot dog man in your storyline. There's some things I just don't like squeezing juice out of. That's both hot dog man and Simon. Keep your juices to yourself, Portia. Your juices have been tainted by some pretty gross men lately. Okay. Clean your juice before you spray it all over my television screen.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
And then it continued into, and now I'm in the fish room. Wasn't it bad enough I got the basement? So now we go over to Shamia, and Shamia's like, plus one. Honey, I've always been that one. It's a little generic. You know, also because Apple One raised their prices because, you know, they trick you and they're like, Apple One is $5 and you get Apple Music, Apple TV and storage.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
And now they're like, $5 million. So every time I hear one, I just get mad. But I like Shamia for the most part.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
She's trying not to be the wind beneath your wings. I think it's very difficult when you're the Barbara Hershey in a relationship. You know, you've got Bette Midler. He's saying, you're the wind beneath my wings. And Barbara Hershey's like, awesome. I got to do nothing and get cancer when I'm young. So, you know, I didn't even get any attention for this movie.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
And I never worked again very much, you know. But here's Bette Midler singing the song at every fucking funeral.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
But I mean, does she have the same, like she didn't have the same control over people. Like Bette Midler could be like, gays go out and clean up the freeways.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
You know, Barbara Hershey really just never had that pull. And it's because she was the wind beneath the wing. And so I think she was the updraft. Yeah. So I think that Shamia is, you know, she's trying to, like, put on the Bette Midler wig. And she's trying to take over that role. And it's just going to take, you know, baby steps.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
But Shamia, she became- Well, because now don't they have that thing which is like Ben asked not to be disturbed, but do you want to disturb him anyway? Don't they have that thing now? Now you can say like- I think- Disturb him anyway.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Was that just not you? No, the second, was there a second ding? I heard the first one.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
I wish, go away. Oh my God, Black Swan. That's all I took from that movie. I was like, oh my God, her eating disorder is so successful. And she looks so good in eyeliner.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. She's in the Barbara Hershey role and she's trying to be a vet, but it's going to take some time. We're going to need to give her some time to kind of warm up. I do miss Candy's... where Candy was like, I like, you know, I don't know what hers was, but like, sometimes I sing and sometimes I fly.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
um you know going on with her so uh she's kind of like the jocelyn not jocelyn wildenstein that's the lady whose face is r.i.p she just did hallie berry play in that movie that old-time movie star um oh jocelyn wildenstein yeah
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Okay, here is Kelly. Okay, Jocelyn Wildenstein. Hold on. I want to read Jocelyn. Jocelyn Wilden. By the way, if anyone is coming here for a recap that makes any kind of sense, you're in the wrong place. We're not there today. So just come back next week.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
I think we're just going to be insane and we're never going to stop.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
And I feel like Barbra Streep was in that group. They're all just wind. But you know, we all need wind. I will say this about the Jocelyn Wildenstein obit. They're doing that thing where they make you pay to read it. I'm sorry. Something should just be free. Like, if there's a natural disaster coming, I shouldn't have to subscribe to your fucking newspaper to read it. You know what I mean?
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Like, you should tell me. Like, your house is on fire. Like, but pay for a subscription to find out, you know, where it started. No, tell me. And if Jocelyn Wildenstein dying is important news, I'm not paying you for it. Sorry.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Speaking of, we'll be featuring that on our paid-only Patreon this week.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
We were also at the Ponce Market. That's where we stayed. We stayed right there. And they were showing close-ups of it. I was like, oh my God, hi.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
And then we have Angela who's like, if you want to find the shade, just look for the oak.
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#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
I'm expecting Angela to be the new star of this show. She hasn't really become the new star of this show. But I'm expecting her to. And I can see her really...
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Oh, so Giselle's like, I don't know what possessed them to do that. And Andy asked what the girls thought. They were horrified.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Well, maybe because they only got a four in school.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
They haven't been on the same shift at Arizona's yet.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So, yeah, so... You're sending a spin-off called Beavis and Namse.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So is Josh and Ashley still dating?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
It's like, yeah, you know, we've just lessened it, you know, cut back a little bit because we were just so hot and heavy. So now we're just going to chill. So we don't have labels.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And Andy's saying, well, Ashley also told me that he sent you off to New York. And Ashley's like, he did. And Giselle goes, with what? Sperm? With semen? And they're like, oh.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So how does he feel about Wendy's nickname, Jack Harlow, for Beavis? And she's like,
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Yeah, Ashley's really trying it here. So Wendy's like, who cares? And Ashley says, oh, you have no remorse. He's a very good guy.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And his friends have been texting him like, oh, I can't believe she said that about you.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And she goes, do you know how many things you've said about my husband? What have I said about your husband? Well, let's start with Ashley willfully bought a woman that she knew was a lie about my husband on the television. Oh, please. That was a low. You're right that that was a low down dirty storyline. But that was Giselle and Robin who did that.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And you're going to completely let them off the hook now.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
But I like that Wendy will just go back into the history books and then make this just because she's friends with Giselle this season. She's like, oh, really? When you tried to make my best friend Giselle look bad by bringing something up on camera?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Well, Giselle told her to tell her. She's like, you need to tell Wendy this. So she's like, okay. Because wasn't this when Ashley was pregnant and she's like,
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Well, I got to get in my car because I'm pregnant. But before I go, Wendy, everybody says your husband's banging some girl on reality. Bye.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
The blogger didn't bring it up on a national platform.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And Andy's like, okay, moving on. I'm bored with this. You're reaching. You're really reaching.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Moving on. Josh is a great young man.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So. Wendy's like, well, you bought rumors about my husband. Well, is Eddie still a lawyer? Is he still practicing? Yes, he is.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Yes, he is. Is he? You see what I'm saying? Miserable. So is the big rumor that Eddie's not practicing anymore? Who cares? He's dealing happy Eddie now. Yeah. Guilty of making you happy.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Restylane gave this cast a makeover. Let's watch the clips. Can we fast forward Restylane's parts?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Well, we're still together and everyone's like, oh, how nice. Congratulations. That guy's trash. And she's like, yeah, we actually seen some rings last week. So yeah, guys. Yeah. I've looked at rings. So, uh, so he's taking you ring shopping. Well, he brought, he Googled rings and he showed me some, and then he started playing never going to get it. Um, which is our song. That's our song.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
But like in Vogue, we'll never break up.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
She's like, yeah, you know, premarital property, you know. He's like, okay, so are you going to move back in with him? And she goes, maybe after the ring. Stops filming me day and night. I mean, Jesus, he put it on the inside of the door, Andy.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Well, at the end of the season, we got to understand a little bit more about why Greg doesn't say much on camera. He doesn't like being filmed.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And honestly, like last year when I got, any of those guys find the correct dressing room, is anybody waiting?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
We actually have a comment from a camera, from Cameraman, that says, Kierna, please let Greg know that he may not like the camera, but the camera likes him even less. Wow. That was harsh.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I hate that saying like most 90% of life is showing up. No, it's not. Anyone can show up. I mean, I don't like that. Like the lowest standards for anybody, but you know, she's like, you know, his thing was he, he's just uncomfortable all the time. And Andy's like, Oh, please. Robin was a cast member on this show for eight years. And she did, or she did nothing but look uncomfortable.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Yeah, but he can still be, you know, but to his credit, he showed up and he was uncomfortable on camera. So, you know, we thought Robin wasn't coming back this season, but in a way, she's here. So now, Stacey, people seem to think that your former significant other, TJ, had the opposite feeling about the cameras. He loved the cameras. He actually loved them.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Actually, he called us and asked if we wanted to film his poop job.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
You know, I just couldn't date someone when all he would do is walk around going sad. I mean, it's just very, it was very stressful, you guys.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I woke up one night and thought, wow, TJ's finally on top of me, but he had a scalpel and we was going to put in a stint. He's very method Andy. It got scary.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I mean, I liked ER when ER was on, but it was at one point with ER because ER was on like 97 seasons or something. And at one point I had to stop because I was like, why am I putting myself through this? It's nothing but pain. I can't. And they're like, oh, wow. The pit, ER's back as the pit. And now it's with your least favorite person from ER, but older. And I was like, no.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
About to do. Well, they're sure having a pretty entertaining reunion without Karen there. I almost feel bad for Karen.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
yeah i hear it's good everybody's loving the pit um i just you know i don't know i don't that's depressing especially as you get older and the hospital is more of a possibility every day i just no what's depressing about a show called the pit i don't understand it's got such a positive name I had to go to the emergency room last year. Well, I didn't have to.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
My parents made me because I had really high blood pressure. It was like a 200 something. It was like 240. I mean, it was really, really high. And I only found out because I went to the Botox place and I was getting weight loss medication. So they gave me a blood test.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
whatever they gave me a blood pressure test and they were like no Ronnie you really need to go to the hospital and I put it off but I made the mistake of telling my dad this and I told him at 10 o'clock at night well who shows up at my door my parents like get in the car we're going to the fucking emergency room so they drove me No, they shouldn't have in their state.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
They should have sent an Uber or something. So they, they, you can tell that they'd been playing cards or something. I mean, there is something fits. I'm not accusing them of drunk driving. I'm just saying there's been more sober driving and they sped me down there. Like Cruella de Vil is how they were driving. And they got me to, it was, it was one of those private emergency rooms or whatever.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And it was by this time it was like 11, 1130 at night. And the only people on staff there were the new people who didn't have any experience. And my mom was a terror in there.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
She was like, where is everybody? Where's the fucking service? There's no one even in here.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And so they take me back there and the guy's like, oh, we need to give you an IV of fluids or something. And so he kept missing the vein. Granted, I don't work out, so I don't have veins. So he's just like poking around and then blood started spurting out of my, he missed the vein, I guess. And my mom started yelling at him and he looked like he was about to cry.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I never want to go back to an emergency room again is the point. So no pit. I will open it to you. And if you want to see really depressing drama, call my mom in the middle of late night canasta to take you to the emergency room and see how traumatized you are. I don't want to hear it about the pit.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
okay so anyway we see clips of tj being kind of an to stacy which he was doing right to her face but somehow it only really bothered her when she saw it on tv it's like you know when i saw it at a different angle he just didn't look as handsome when he was yelling at me so i was very offended when i watched it back and to hear from arabella and my family it was just it was hurtful handy it was hurtful
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
yeah it's been a good one i was kind of hoping karen would be in prison by this time so that she could watch it from jail and just because i just wanted the other people to be like wow karen it's really good without you and then her just get mad and like shake somebody with the tooth toothbrush that she made into a knife or something but just imagining karen with a coffee mug going against the bars excuse me
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Oh yeah, because you know people are, you know how fans are and they're like texting them videos. Like, did you hear what this bitch said about you? You know? Even if they don't watch the whole thing, I'm sure they get the bits that are the most offensive, you know?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Well, could you put the little red metal flag up so I could get a response? No, there's nothing in the mailbox.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
He's like, oh, right around the holiday season, Andy. Merry Christmas to me.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So Andy's like, wow, you got broke up with him quick. Or you got a divorce too, right? Wow, that's crazy. Ashley, that was quick, right?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
She already got a divorce. Look at you, loser. All right, everybody point at Ashley and laugh.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
What are you doing on stage? Go back to Karen's dressing room.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
She is still best friends with TJ, she tells us. And Wendy's like, but wait, so nothing's changed because you were best friends with him before and you're best friends with him now, right? So whatever. This is stupid. So you all weren't having sex then, you're not having sex now, whatever. I'm your friend. I don't want you to forget that.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Well, when I say, you know, we were intimate, but. What? Butt sex?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
No. Fingers? Digits in the butt? No. Blowies? No. Sockies? No. Lickies? No.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So they're questioning her, like, cunnilingus, anything down below the belt. And Stacey goes, let's just say I wish him well. I wish him wellabella.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Mush again. Yeah, she's not in prison, but she is in some rehab center. And I was reading that she because her sentencing is her sentencing now. It's like in a second. It's either it either just happened or it's in like it's today. It's right now. Whenever my dad gets internet back, we'll probably find out what happened to Karen.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Okay, well, I came to admiring and reading each other's fashions this season. The women of Potomac had each other's number, especially when that number is 613. Let's have a look.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
which actually leads to a lot of drama which i wasn't prepared for i was not prepared for all of this that happened so we see a flashback to strut for strays where ashley and giselle are talking and ashley's like oh my god i wore that outfit that she's wearing and she shows her a picture and they crack up and she says no shade i mean you look good in it you look good and stacy goes i know thank you thank you the fern said the same thing
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
But they were saying that the judge got pissed because her, her rehab is like a club, you know, it's like massages and facials and it's not real rehab. It's just like, you know, celebrity vacation or whatever. And I was like, good for Karen, you know, you go girl.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So this is from Vivian, everybody. She says, this is on Instagram. She says, thanks Giselle Bryant for asking who elevated who. The delusion of it all. Stacey is quickly unraveling her fraudulent self before our eyes. Stacey begged me to exclusively sponsor her event to elevate it. Her words, and by the way,
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I introduced Stacey to the Real Housewives of Potomac group, and this is how she thanks me? SMH. Lying Stacey begged me for that outfit. I originally custom-made that outfit for Ashley for a casual collaborative event. I offered Stacey another gown, appropriate for her event. It was made out of dogs. And she insisted... Ashley's outfit. So I even showed her a pic of Ashley in it.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And my staff was present at the time of the conversation. Hey, Stacy, you returned all the gowns smelling funky. SMH. Everyone will soon get your true color. Hashtag fake. Hashtag phony. Hashtag fraud. Hashtag the lies. P.S. Bravo, Andy. I love how you call me Viv.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
You talk like that, Stacey? Stacey goes, I would never say that. Oh, yes, you did. I said, so how are you and Vivian? And you took a sip of your drink and you said, fuck that bitch. That's what she said. Well, you know, it's just it's very difficult for me. Because I chose to elevate her and have her be the exclusive fashion designer for Strut for Strays.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I mean, do you know how many designers Christian Siriano, you know, Louis Vuitton were just left out in the cold? And he left out in the cold all for Vivian.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
She may not be on W, but she's on the cover of... The DMV.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Oh, so that's why you said, fuck you, bitch.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So Andy says, you think she did it deliberately? And Wendy goes, fuck that bitch. That's what she said, Andy. Yeah.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So they're all cracking up at her that she's finally being bitchy on the show. And Andy's like, well, you are a real housewife. So have you had your face done yet? Please get it done. I just need to ask about it. You look great, but I would love to ask about it next time. Okay, great. So were the ladies too hard on you about your hair? And in the finale, they made that wig.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And she says that she was expecting a warmer reception because they have borderline hazed me all season. It was so rough. And they're like, oh, come on now. Have you not dished it? So then we see flashbacks to Stacy saying, Ashley is a beautiful woman from top to ankle.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And then he goes, okay, well, um, you know, I- Oopie from diaper said, Ashley, when are you going to prioritize the health of your feet and address those Funyuns? And she's like, oh my God, everyone's so worried about my Bunyuns. I mean, Karen's the one who's really worried. So I'm going to put her picture right by my Bunyuns. They're genetic Funyuns. She brings Karen down there.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So Wendy wrote back, oh my God, I was so torn on this look. I was giving Michelin man tees, hot, hot, hot. She's like, when you texted me, I, you know, I texted you back. I owned it. You know, I knew I was looking like a tire.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
It's amazing to see how off rhythm you are as a man, as well as a woman. It's pretty impressive. It's pretty impressive that the gender swap didn't help at all. It's like, yeah, Andy, it was wild. And she says her grandma was so proud of her. And even Karen was like, oh, you're making me reconsider some things. Not vodka, but vodka.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And then we see the side-by-side of these outfits. I don't think they're the same outfit. They both had pearls on them. They're similar. And I'm glad he pointed out that they're all wearing the same thing tonight too. Like they're wearing the same pearl thing tonight too. So I don't know. I didn't think this was one of them.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
But when he's like, oh yeah, they peeked through my window at night, Andy. They peeked through my window. Okay, well, Heavenly is a Huge Homo from Fulb says, Mia, when you were married to Gordon, you were always wearing blazers, and then you got with ink, and you started wearing Fashion Nova and stirring up messy storylines. Ha!
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I hereby decree this good mitten. I want this to be a positive experience for everybody.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
No, you did not sell your job, ma'am. You were doing pamphlets and a crack the back and your job was taken from you because you guys were allegedly taking money from the business and using it for shit that you shouldn't have been using it for allegedly, allegedly, I didn't say any of this.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So Giselle, you were so messy to buy the dress that Stacey forbid everybody from wearing at her event. What message were you trying to send her? Well, that I would spend a lot of money for tacky things. But we've already seen your house.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I wanted them to stop making fun of the taste in my living room and start making fun of the taste on my body.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
The shit was shitting. So we see the flashback to the dog poop fiasco at Strut for Strays, which I'm sure will have its own 30-minute segment at some point. I know. But for now, okay, well, you all went blonde this season, and who wears blonde best? Who is the true queen of the 613?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So then they make fun of Mia's hair as if it was the worst. I don't know what's wrong with me.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So Mia says, no more 613 for now. And Stacy goes, but you took a risk. And I applaud you for that. She took a risk. And... I'm the only person applauding.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Okay, so here we are with part two and Mia has just gone off because she's been called on something pretty light. I mean, I think it was pretty light, whatever she was called out on, but just watching everybody have to get up with these dresses on is so funny because they are like toothpaste being squeezed very slowly out of the tooth. They cannot move.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I had never thought about never seeing Stacey's ears until she said it. And then my mind started going through all of the shots of the season. I was like, I guess we have never seen her ears. And she's like, well, I made a video of you. It's quite hilarious, Andy. Arabella loved it. Where I'm sitting in a makeup chair and I show Giselle my ears. Can we roll that? Roll that, please.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I hate you, you stupid bitch. I'm never giving you a dress again. No, that's the one of Vivian. Can we just do the one of me in the makeup chair? So they cut to that, and she kind of lifts her hair up a little bit. She's like, look, I have ears. We did not see full ears in that. What's going on with your ears? Why aren't you showing your Spock ears? Show them.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Her eyes turn black. She's got Justin Bieber and the Pope in her Rolodex.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So then Andy tells Ashley, well, I do love your hair. She goes, thank you. Giselle says, he didn't say that to me. He doesn't like mine. He's like, no, sorry, Giselle. I was talking to Ashley on that one. All right, welcome back. The Real Housewives of Potomac Season 9 reunion. We're joined by Jacqueline.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Wow, Jacqueline's looking a little different than when we saw her. What's different, Jacqueline? Whose baby are you impregnated with now?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Yeah, I'm proud of production for recognizing their low points of the season and just trying to brush them under the rug, you know. So then Jacqueline's like, well, I can tell you this, the father has never been on Bravo or Gray Star Screen. So let's put it out there now. It's another father, everybody. And so, and he's like, oh, well, that's good.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
We have someone fresh, someone fresh with a life to ruin, basically. And Wendy's like, so it's not pee-pee? It's not ink? Who is it?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Got it. More to come. That's the last thing you need right now. Okay. Okay. Well, Mia, you've always led a complex life, but you gave the phrase love triangle a whole new shape. Let's take a look. So we see Mia's package of lies and lies this season and
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Every time they get up, they're like, oh Lord. So she's walked off and that last episode ended with one of my favorite sound bites from this show of all time, which is Mia crying. And so all the ladies are looking around, and they're like, what's going on?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Me and Ink are high school sweethearts. Ink wants a paternity test for Jeremiah. And also, Gordon has mania. You know, I really love Parks Mania.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Well, you know, it's very difficult when you're in a public relationship because people see it and then you think you could have done something different. But I was married for 11 years. And I'm a good mother and my kids are amazing. Every day I work, even without crack in the back, I walk around organizing brochures for people for free.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So Wendy tries it. She's like, he's a very kind, respectable gentleman. But we can be honest, okay? You came on this show, and you brought in Outsider, and they don't know The Backlash, right? So, they got Backlash, everyone calling him short, Applebox, Tiny, etc. And, you know, the game that everybody was playing online where they said, let's toss ink back and forth. You know, that sort of thing.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So, it's really hard because no one understands what this life is like until you're in it, Andy. you know and then once it was shown to the world he didn't like that and so uh ashley's like yeah but he went a little bit hard with gordon it's not like he's just some victim
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Yes, so basically they're still together, but Mia's just pretending they're not so people will be nicer on Twitter. So Mia's like, why would you say that? And Sissy goes, oh, she doesn't live here?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
No, no, I've been here. That's a lie. Well, I've heard people that are on the same plane as you. You're in the back.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Okay, well, where do your kids go to school? They're in private homeschool, Andy.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I didn't even think of that. I was like, wow, do they have to wear uniforms?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So private homeschool, they could do from anywhere in the world, correct? She goes, and Josiah goes, like Atlanta. And she's like, well, they have gone to Atlanta, but they don't go back and forth every time. Oh, okay. So now every time insinuating that you are constantly coming back and forth from Atlanta. Like, girl, can you hear yourself?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And she was like, hold on. Let me just let me say in my defense.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And she says, but why, why would I do this?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
What would be the reason? And Andy says, yeah, well, for what benefit? And Wendy goes, for this benefit, right here, the show, the show. And if you took that out, what would be left?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And Mia goes, I love, I'm Mia, I'm Mia, okay? I just wanna be me.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
how you feeling today you ready to talk to people it means you just sort of showed up clocked in and was like all right let's do it of course he doesn't even look up from his phone until they're like andy read the cue card but why would they give mia his dressing room why is she getting such star treatment they're acting like what she did this season is a sin against humanity which i mean it kind of is you know using your kids in that way and all that you know i think me is horrible for that i mean hilarious too but also horrible
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Well, heavenly is worse from than we ever even knew said, did you tell your kids about the divorce for the first time on camera? Yes or no? She has.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So we had a con. Well, what I wanted to do was go to therapy, but. I just didn't get around to it.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Oh, okay. So you forgot to book a therapy appointment, so you told your kids on camera.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
As a good parent, Andy, I keep my kids off of social media, so they don't know that I'm ruining their lives until later. Oh, well, you don't think he's going to find out? Like, it's ridiculous if you think he's not going to find out. And Mia's like, well, 1000%, but right now he's nine.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I mean, he doesn't even know English.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Anybody who thousand percents you is lying. Apparently she says a thousand percent over and over. Everything else we discuss is controversial.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Okay. And I don't think this is something that I should have discussed in hindsight, because I do feel like I have to prepare. I'm a good mother.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I am being transparent. It's just a very wavering day by day, thousand percent decisions.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
It stands for the internet version of Vanity Fair, which I was reading.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So last year, she said that she conceived through IUDs, not IUDs, because we got into this last year. Do you remember we got into this last year?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Don't take my storyline. I-U-Rs or I-U-Is or something.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
UNESCO, from a UNESCO, UN, UNICEF, thank you. Last year she said IUI or IU, whatever it is. And that is a different thing than IVF. That's where you put the, they basically, someone described it online as turkey basestring sperm.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And I can see their point, but then why is she getting this star treatment? Bravo loves people who will throw their children on a train track for a storyline. They're like, you know what, Mia? Your son will never recover from this, probably. Here's Andy's dressing room.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
No, it's intentional reality sperm to Zoa. All right, all right, no one's buying this. She goes, but I did conceive through IVF, but I could have been pregnant when I got the IVF. So that's what happened. And Wendy goes, no, that's not true. Want to know why it's not true? Because when you get IVF, you have to take a pregnancy test.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
She goes, well, in order for a positive pregnancy test, you have to be four and a half weeks pregnant. They're like, no, they take a blood test and they can test your HCG immediately. She's like, exactly. Your Herman cock groin, which is the procedure that I have.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Mia, don't you just want to end this paternity stuff for your children? Do it. If Arabella wanted to, I would do it. And she's like, 1000%. I have, I have. So we've done a professional private school test. Jeremiah is Gordon's child through IVF 1,000%.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
You can hear about it on CBS. Come burgling sycophants.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Well, Daddy from is probably been cheating this whole time, says, Mia, you proclaim that you want to protect your children's innocence. How can you say that you want to protect them when you let adult conversations occur within their presence? Oh, for Christ's sake. I don't know that that's a good question. I mean, what kind of adult conversations has Andy's kids heard?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Well, that was when he was in Mania. And we see a flashback of Gordon telling Ink, I told Mia I'm not filming with you when you and I are here together with the kids. I'm going to be very cordial. So have a good time without the kids. I'm not interested. So then Giselle's like, he told you when the cameras are on, he doesn't want to do that. But you thought it was good for the show.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
You thought it was good for your little story. Yeah.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Mia, you were fucking ink before you even broke up with Gordon with your kids in the house. I mean, come on, we've already gone over this. She's so frustrating and she can talk herself in circles. And I like that they're not really letting her in her whole thing.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I was just trying to show a positive co-parenting.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
It's the lies, Andy, the lies. Well, I think whatever I'm going through, I'm open about it. And you know, it's my honesty, Andy.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
You know, I mean, it is confusing. I'm confused sometimes. And so Kierna, who's talked more in this reunion than we've heard her talk in two years is like, well, you know, it was just toxic. And I can see why Gordon was having several episodes. Like she's mania shaming somebody. She's like, you're the cause of the mania. So... because Gordon's elder, she goes, because Gordon is elderly, okay?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And it's, I mean, it was basically giving elderly abuse that he kept doing this to Gordon.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I don't believe that. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. I don't believe that. No, I don't believe that. And Jacqueline's like, you don't believe he's bipolar? I mean, he's so bipolar, I'm naming my next child Bania. I mean, it's all that we've heard.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And Mia's like, I didn't want him to come on another apology tour, so I told him just to stay home.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And Giselle's like, you sat here and said you regret the whole paternity thing and bringing it up. You don't regret it because of your children. And she's like, uh-huh. She goes, no, you regret it because of Twitter. And if everybody was on board with it, the world was on board with it, you'd be fine with it.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And she goes, well, there are a lot of people on board with it. I get so many DMs from people who say, after I went through ICP, BMI, and had a baby and moved in with the guy, everyone's just so supportive. I'm a helpful person. Co-parenters everywhere are thanking me. 1,000%.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
um so basically ashley's like well it seems like you had a motive to look at this whole thing as a production instead of being genuine oh okay ashley i mean michael how about say gna gna gna
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I remember when we were in Miami and we were talking about the relationship of the group. And you said that we were like Destiny's Child, but everyone's Michelle and you're Beyonce.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And Giselle goes, oh, totally. I love Michelle. Personally. Personally. We're friends. Wendy's like, okay, okay, then you guys can be Michelle. She can be Beyonce. I'm Kelly, though. I'm Kelly. And Mia goes, I ain't been drinking. She doesn't even deny it. She's so beat down by this point.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Well, Poopy from Diaper says, Mia, if the conversations surrounding your child were bringing stress to your life, what made you think it was okay to bring up Giselle's daughters in even worse context? And then we see that your girls are sneaking boys in the house, and social media, you post like everything's perfect.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So she's like, you know, I didn't think it was okay, and that's actually why I apologized to her.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And he doesn't, have you ever seen those videos of Andy talking to his kids? I don't watch children's videos. He's driving to the Hamptons or whatever, and his kids are just having a fit in the car. And he's like, why are we doing this? What do you think you're accomplishing right now?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I haven't talked about your children. So then Giselle's like, you got in my face. And Wendy's like, when was this? Did they show it?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And they're like, no, it was at the end of the night. You weren't paying attention.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And Giselle's like, they did not show it, but it happened. My bodyguard was there. And Mia's like, well, you were saying I was a terrible mother. And then Giselle goes, well, that's how you've acted this season. A terrible mother. And I stand by that. No woman, no matter, no mother would put their children on a platform to discuss his paternity. No mother would do that. No mother.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And Mia's like, eh. And she gets up and runs off again.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And Giselle can always be the grossest, you know? And in some seasons, it's really infuriating when she's, like, on the wrong side. But when she's on the right side of things, it's refreshing. Yeah, it is. She's like, you're a terrible mother, and I stand by that. Yeah. And then when she walks off, Ashley goes, the truth hurts, I guess. And Mia's like, no.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
My kids, you don't come for my kids.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
They're not coming for your kids. I hate when people do that. When you criticize their parenting and they're like, do not come for my children. They're not coming for your children. They're coming for you. They're saying your kids are great and you're a terrible mother.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
especially Greg's. Greg should really be off limits.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And Annie's like, well, we're going to take a break. We'll be right back. I'm exhausted. Let's go. So they get up for a break and none of them can get out of their chairs, which is really funny. They have to help each other up. And then we see Mia going back to through her dressing room door. She's like, all right, please do my blush.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So it looks like my head has been dipped in blush, but only to my cheekbones, please, in a straight line. And she's crying. And then we hear Eddie's voice because he and Greg are catching up in the other dressing room.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
They kept cutting to the other people in the dressing room. I guess they were stylists or glam team or whatever. And they cut to a girl sitting in a chair behind them. And was she wearing a silver hard hat?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I don't know what the hell was going on, but I was dying laughing because sometimes we joke that doing glam on these shows is like a Home Depot worker has to come with a jackhammer and be like, wax, wax, wax. And there was actually a girl in a hard hat, which I was cracking at that. So yeah, this was very unnatural, but they're like, hello, Greg. How wonderful to see you.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I am happy Eddie products available near you. We should call TJ. TJ is our good friend. And Greg's like, yes, we should call TJ.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
you're in a shame spiral it's kind of the same way that he's talking to me right now and poor me it's like she thinks she's gonna get away from it all by running away but there's like knocks at the door and there's just random guys coming in taking off their shirts it's like What's happening? Oh, sorry. Sorry, guys. I didn't update Grindr. My dressing room's down. It's down now.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And so Eddie's like, wait, what? We gotta lick her up next time you're in DC. And then the screen fades to black. And then we, TJ is kind of blacked out. Like we don't see what's happening. They do a black and white thing where we don't really see what's happening. And then Eddie goes,
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
oh tj we had no idea man and he's like yeah you should talk to that girl and eddie goes that was a lot so then we cut back to the set and um they're all you know still on break and stuff and wendy leaves her phone on the couch but here is a buzz so she gets it she goes Shut the fuck up. Like, what? What, Wendy? What, Wendy? What is it, Wendy?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And she's just laughing because Eddie has just sent her whatever TJ said.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So what do you think it's going to be?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
No, because they make it look like it's a huge thing against Stacey because she's confronted with it. And she's like, that is a lie. So it looks like he's saying that he was hired or, you know, maybe the rumors are true that he was hired to be her boyfriend. And she's just a liar or something. Those are the rumors online. But I have no idea what it could really be. Wow.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So we'll find out next week, everybody. But in the meantime, thanks so much for being here. If you want these recaps on videos, you find them at Patreon. If you don't want to pay for Patreon, that's fine. You get them a week later over at YouTube. So join us over there. Go get tickets for the mounting hysteria tour. And Patreon links and bonus episode links, which are traders right now on Patreon.
Watch What Crappens
#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
You can get links for everything over at WatchWhatCrappens.com. So do it.
Watch What Crappens
#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
It's Kieran's old dressing room. New location.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Yeah, I think so, too. So now then they're talking, of course, about the Miami storyline that they that Mia had this birthday party and then ditched the two girls that she did invite once they came all the way to Miami. So back to Mia, she's like, I've been a terrible fan and I know that.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And he's like, oh, you're beating yourself up. You poop in your diaper. Okay. You felt bad. You owned it, but we're going to be at our big house in the Hamptons soon. So give yourself a break, Mia. And she's like, but like, if I wasn't in like the final wings of my divorce, I wouldn't be in the James Bible right now. It's just that I'm really actually divorcing completely believable.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Oh my God, this is a good blow job. Wow. Please, please, you're in the wrong room. Please.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
You know who never feels guilt? Serial killers.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So at least you're not a serial killer. Now let's go out there and talk about your new boobs, possibly.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
They can't move. They cannot move their body. They're just all standing there and they're doing trust falls onto the couch.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
He's out there handing out his social work card to people. Andy and Mia come back and they start again. He's like, welcome back. We're still talking about the dynamic duo of Potomac GNA. Giselle, how is life as an empty solar for you? Excuse me? Yeah.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
You said solar. Did you mean as in solar panels? No, I meant souls, but it was an accident. Sorry. Slip of the tongue.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Granted, we don't even live close to each other, so I don't know what it would have to do with his internet being out. Maybe it's a statewide issue. Is your internet out? Keep current to find out if my dad's internet is out, everybody.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
One time they said, go see the park. So I went to the park and they said, we met the nurse.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
And he asks about the twins adjusting to college life. And she's like, great dad. They had a first semester where they both got 4.0s on both sides.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Like that's good out of how many? Andy, I'm a 10.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I kind of hate that they did it before us at the crappies.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Oh, and she's wearing like a pant. Wow. She's she's she made a choice. Let me just say his new wife made quite a choice in this outfit. It is. Should I show it on here?
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
sure since we're on crap and this is a crap is on demand i'm sorry for people on audio because we're basically stopping we're stopping any kind of momentum we might be getting by showing you this but it's important this is important this is important i feel i feel like it is okay so uh here it is do you see it yes so she's wearing a pants a bell bottoms pants pink
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
This is a huge, huge choice she's making. She looks great though. And I love her hair.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
Yeah. So, yeah, that's the outfit. So, there you go. I just look at her and I think, wow, I hope you're ready to get cheated on a lot.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy now. I hope you're happy how your husband's getting poutine from everybody in church. I hope you're happy that he's impregnated a teenager.
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#2738 RHOP Reunion 2: From Here To Paternity
So they're kind of making him, you know, they read some tweets from people who are like, Work, Alphaba! Come on, Alphaba and Glinda! Jamal Bryant looks like he's saying, because I knew you, I've been changed for good in his wedding vows. Wow, Jamal's basically at the end of a Target commercial.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Yeah. It's like Man of La Mancha over there all of a sudden. Well, that's a jail. So I guess not. But that's the only musical I could think of. The Man of La Mancha. Until to get windmills, eh? I've actually been hurt doing that. So they come onto this set, and I'm surprised they missed the opportunity to make the set Wendy's birthday party.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I really thought that's what they were going to do, because that was an all-white thing, too. So I thought they were going to be like, it's still your birthday, Wendy!
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Yeah. God, who knew that was foreshadowing to Karen's future? I know, right? So Wendy's like, oh, my gosh, look at Giselle's nails. Wow, you can never tell me again about my nails, okay? And Giselle's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. So then, hello, everybody. Welcome to Real Housewives of Potomac Season 9. We're going to be three parts. Why? No idea, but here we go. I'm Andy Cohen. I'm in Panama.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And it's safe to say that a lot has changed. And we're going to get into that. But there's an elephant in the room. And that is the absence of Karen McCarenston. Everybody, what do you think? The Grand Dom's not with us tonight. Has anybody spoken to Karen? Do they know if Karen has new boobs?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Yeah. And Giselle, you know, kind of shockingly gives the nicest answer where she's like, well, it's fantastic. You know, she lives in a land of delusion. And sometimes we think that's funny and cute. But in this case, it's not. I just want her to get help. And Wendy's like, well, it's interesting that she's doing it before his sentencing. Duh, Wendy.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I like when Wendy feels like she's solved a mystery. She's like, well, pretty interesting that it's just happening right before the reunion, right? And right before the sentencing. And so she's like, is she doing it because she needs help or because she feels like it will lighten the blow of the sentence? First of all, no alcoholic wants lighter blow.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
second of all as andy says who the fuck wouldn't you know yeah they all yeah because yeah at first they're like yeah it's a conspiracy and then that's when everyone's like but shouldn't you do this that's exactly what you should do you know i saw her picking up twash on the side of the freeway it's almost like she's trying to kiss ass yeah that's what you fucking do okay yeah
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And thanks for the support, guys. Love doing this every day. It's like such a great way to live life, for sure. So how are you feeling? How are you feeling about Potomac and all that good stuff?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Wait a minute. Wait a minute, everybody. Wait a minute. Stacey here. I just want to say, give her some grace. Give her some grace. Stacey's overacting is so fucking funny in this whole reunion. I loved it.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I did, too. I thought it was better than the season. This is a good one for reunions, even without Karen. You know, Karen didn't show up to the reunion, as we'll get into. But they still made it all about Karen. And it was just as fun as if she was there.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And she's just her whole like most offended person out of all of the people who have ever lived. It's my favorite version of her. I think it's so funny. So it's like, well, how? Oh, sorry, man.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So Andy jokes that she wouldn't be happy about getting second position. And then Ashley's like, no, she doesn't get first position. It's my picture. It's my picture. So she takes it back. So now not only does Karen get to not show up to date, she gets to make her own video, which is such bullshit. I don't think she should have been allowed to do this, even though I thought it was one of the best.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I thought it was comedically perfect, but it shouldn't have been allowed. I would have been like, nope, objection.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I'm at a treatment center to address the fact that laws are unfair against people who wear possums on their head when they're upset. Hopefully, we'll get some laws passed. I'm very sure of it. Now, I would like to get to the bottom of it, but since there's no bottle here, I would be remiss if I didn't take this time to thank those who truly touched my heart during this whole process.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
First, the possum who died for that fur. That fur got me a long way, ladies. Second, Giselle. Giselle. Giselle. Giselle. Hold on. Let me adjust my teeth for a moment. Okay. The path we've been on together. I was like, oh my God, she's really going to give a speech. She gave a full three paragraph speech.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I love the card that said, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other, not side to side. Stop dancing. This is a DUI. You're drunk. Say the alphabet backwards. Very kind. Very kind, Giselle.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I'm also taking a stance against cops flirting with me every time they pull me over. This time I was put in the most sexy handcuffs I've ever seen. You're not getting a piece of this, sir.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Where are you now? Where are you? Where are you now?
Watch What Crappens
#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So... And K to K. I would like to give this to K. K, nobody remembers your name, but I do. And it's K. Let's just stick with K. Can we roll that back? Do we have editing on this video, Ray?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Yeah. And, you know, that picture frame shame is very on brand for Karen talk because Karen started out her career on Real Housewives by shaming Giselle with a picture frame filled with rules of etiquette that Giselle should follow. And so all these years later, season nine, Karen is in rehab and she is now framed at the reunion. So it's kind of a burn, but it's a fun burn, you know.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Now I know she's no longer with us on the show, but Candice reached out to me and she's been a soldier. She's been a soldier for me. So, Candice, thank you. Thank you for being a soldier, Candice. Now, wait a minute. There's a special person on my list. And Wendy's just sitting there like, really, bitch? Like, it better be me. I would like to thank the Hamburglar.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
You know, I was stopping at a McDonald's. I was about to eat a hamburger, and a little Hamburglar came and stole it away from me. Thank you for that. That's the reason I look so good today, to accept this award.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Oh, my gosh. So she ends it with, oh, and Andy. Of course, Andy. Andy is the person who's special on my list. Andy, your note meant the world to me. I opened it. It was just some apple sauce on a page. It was kind of like a Rorschach. I had to really stare at it, but I found the love. He's like, oh, I didn't even mean to send her a card.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I think I showed her a picture and my son just splattered apple juice on something. But I'm glad she got it. Glad she got it.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Now, I will be back, and you and Giselle can fight over who called me the Grand Dame first, but I will be coming back as Karen Huger, because Karen is enough. Today, I drop the mask.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I'm just Karen. So then Wendy's, you know, making eyes and stuff. So Andy's like, wow, Giselle's crying. And Giselle's like, well, okay. I'm not a good crier. So he just wants to watch her cry. So he won't move on. So she gives a speech about how Karen's such a good person. And she's really a good person when she's not on the show.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Because on the show, she's like this character and she's full of shit. And then finally, Andy lets her go. And Wendy's still rolling her eyes. He's like, Wendy, do you see him unmoved? And she goes, did I? And he's like, yeah. And she goes, and Mia's like, Um, well, I think that it's really interesting that she didn't think Wendy because they're so close.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Wow. Wow. This is one of the first times on a reunion that we have seen the victim cloak denied. Wendy has denied the victim cloak. Sorry. So they're like, wow, I can't believe her. Wow, Wendy. And Giselle's like, whatever, Wendy, you always knew that she wasn't your friend.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And Mia's like, well, I don't know why because you, I know why because you've been supporting her and you've been writing for her.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Yes, thank you. People are always so excited to go to the White House. That's the place that steals your money every year. The fuck are you so excited about that place for?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So, Wendy is asked why she never acknowledges that Karen doesn't really like her. Because it's an alliance for the show. I mean, we all know that, right? Karen needs Wendy, and Wendy needs Karen. And that's it. They're not friends outside of the show. Wendy doesn't call Karen when she gets her drunk driving or whatever. At least it doesn't seem like it from this.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Because when everybody else is like... I've spoken to Karen. I spoke to her at Christmas. I spoke to her at New Year's. You never hear that from Wendy, but I think that that counts and alliance counts, you know, and I don't blame. Wendy for being annoyed.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Now, hold on. I was trying to think of a fun burn. I was going to say it's a fun burn. Like, I don't know, syphilis, a fun burn. I've got, I'm assuming that's not, but I feel like I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't think of one. Oh,
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And also I don't really blame her for keeping her foot on Karen's neck during this whole reunion, just because Karen, I mean, just because Karen didn't show up, doesn't mean that they can't still hold her accountable. So, you know, in fact, you could have passed for me.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And also I want to say that last year when my mother was being swagged through the mud, Karen was the one of the only people who stuck up for my mother. And, but that's also because Karen, you know, Karen's sticking up for, I think, the older person.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And she's also going to stick up for the mom because she can be like, you never come for mother like you've come for me when my mother, you know, all that. So Andy's like, OK, well, that's fair. Well, one interesting thing about that video was when she said she's going to come back as Karen and not the Grand Dame. Now, is Karen the one who wore the possum on her head or is that the Grand Dame?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I don't want that one back. Tell that one not to come back.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Didn't he think he was going to say my eyes almost fell out of my face because I never sent her a card? I could have sworn he was going to say, like, I never sent her anything. What is she thanking me for?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Mia, the moral center of this show. Love it. Thank you. That's the better way to say it. And he's like, well, there's more to discuss on Karen. Don't worry, we'll be dragging her the entire hour. Now, I brought it, and Mia's like, yeah, you know, I saw it because we've been out drinking so many times. And she's gotten behind her car, you know.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So what did you say is going on over there? What's wrong with you?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And watching Karen trying to drive drunk while standing behind her car, I mean, that was very sad to watch, Amy. And I just had to say, if you're going to drive drunk, at least get in the driver's seat. It's just been it's been a sad time.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Did she have a good season? Did she really?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
She did, but she was good with – I think she interacted pretty well with everybody this season. She was somewhat enjoyable, but I think her storyline stuff was kind of boring. Although, you know, I don't even know what I'm talking about because I'm not a huge fan of storyline stuff anyway. I'm mostly just like the group scenes and them fighting.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I'll take that back and shut the fuck up. How about that?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Well, I would like to thank my almost pink slip for that one. That was great. And he's like, okay. You were great. And she's like, well, but 40 is just so monumental. It's so monumental that my kids are still giving me cereal with candles in it. And, you know, I just wanted to start anew and quitting my job.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
That was the weight lifted off me because I was tired of having to conform to antiquated ideas of what professors should be, which I found interesting because that's kind of alluding to the fact that she wanted to get out of there because they didn't approve of her being a housewife. Right. Is that how you took it?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Yeah, and it's also okay to say, fuck this, I don't like it.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So Giselle's like, well, now they talk about the relationship with Giselle and how it's so much better, and they had a long talk, and Wendy tells us that that was actually a two-hour conversation that they had. And Andy's like, wow, that's a lot of free calamari. Am I right? Okay, well, it's great that you guys are open to working with each other, you know. And they compliment each other a lot.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
All right, well, we see on screen December 20th, 2024, 12 hours after Karen was found guilty of Dewey and six other charges, including wigs that don't fit and having sex with chauffeurs with blue eyes. So we have a very serious...
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And Giselle's like, well, you know, she is majorly articulate. Articulately. Is that even a word?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
But articulately is a word, isn't it? But I think she's just using it wrong.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if it's like caught on nationally. I mean, there's so much weed, but I mean, I guess they're doing fine. She got to quit her job, you know, so that's good. So then they ask. He asks if everybody's gotten to try Happy Eddie. And Stacey did.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And I think you're going to be so successful. And so Giselle's like, aren't you trying to start your own Happy Eddie? And I don't know. Stacey seems fishy here. What do you think?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
If Tamara doesn't yell at you for doing it, you can't yell at everybody else for doing it.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Oh, housewife? I mean, the chick from Shazza Sunset started her woosah thing, but I think before that, I don't think there was another housewife's weed. Was there? You know, I don't know.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I don't know. I mean, yeah, I don't think you can be proprietary. But in your own cast. And her thing isn't that you can't start one. Her thing is like, but I hope you're not doing that without talking to me. Because, you know, that's the rule. You have to get permission from whoever came out with the first wick.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And then we see the clip of Karen being like, well, she can enjoy her three wick and I can enjoy my nine wick.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So Giselle's like, so you didn't have a meeting with someone and tell him that you're a celebrity?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
She's like, because he asked you why on earth do I need to work with you? And you were like, because I'm a celebrity, yeah.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
video because karen is in trouble and you know this is america and when you're in trouble what you do is you put on a wig cap i'm not a wig cap a fur cap and mom jeans so that people understand that you're very downtrodden okay this is a very downtrodden fur cap it was it was a cap of sadness
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Long from Johns in Salt Lake City says it was great seeing you prioritize life and take a leap to leave your professor job. Do you really think it's fair to stipulate that your children don't get inheritance unless they get a master's degree? No. No. I don't think it's unfair to stipulate shit to your children. They don't get shit unless I say they get shit. Okay.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And these are my rules for you to get shit.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Well, it's also interesting because it's a different way of framing. I'm controlling my children's life, which is kind of Wendy's thing against her mother is that her mother controls too much and she wants too much from her. And then Wendy not only has that you're going to get a master's degree. She has like a five page list of shit they have to do for the rest of their lives to get this money.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
You know, I mean, some of the stuff she's talking about is not easy stuff. It's like learn a new language. Join the sorority. Yeah.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
yeah join a sorority i mean this is like glenn gary glenn ross it's like you have to sell like they're gonna get a watch at some point in their lives that they hit a certain benchmark yeah and so when you tell the parent who's doing it you're like oh my god way to incentivize your children but in 20 years when those kids are on the housewives show they're gonna be like my mother controls my life they're gonna be like that witch that witch in the 1980s a rose swept the country
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Uh, so, um, they talk about the white house and she's like, well, yeah, I mean, that was really great because after seeing the results of the 2024 election, uh, I'm glad I could share that with my kids. Cause who, who the hell knows where we're going to be, uh, four years from now. And just, I was like, we won't be, geez. Well, you know, it's, we're all going to be dead.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
There will be no white house or no us. Yeah. Um, and then Andy is, uh,
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And then she tried to give a blowjob to the president just because she heard someone else did it. She's really such a copycat. Karen's still trying to compete with like 30 year old news.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
In her monster look. Yeah, I was kind of hoping someone would come in, you know, some like PETA person would come in and spray paint her wig just to make it even worse. Because I was watching that video over the weekend of Rihanna trying to get into a car. And one of the PETA people is there. And he's like, how could you wear fur? You're a terrible human being. A billionaire who still wears fur.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
She was like, well, what reason does Stacey have to lie? That's going to cause more friction with her in the group. So yeah, I believe what Stacey said. And Karen was like, yeah, but the only thing is that I didn't think that it was kind that you actually waited until You and Karen's relationship was kind of going south to bring that to Wendy. Why not?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
If you're friends with someone, you hold their secrets. If your friend betrays you, you spill their secrets. That's what friendship is, especially on Housewives.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Oh, jeez. To address. Or you've got to save it in the closet. Just wait until the right time. Splooge. Just a little crinklier. Yeah. So then this is a real trip with two Ps. Get it. So then Stacy's like, well, I tried to keep her secrets. But then months later, she didn't stand by me. So and she's like, I chose that time to tell the truth.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And when he's like, and funny enough, when Stacy was joining the group, I haven't told you this. But Karen told me, be careful of the woman that's coming into this group because she's very smart and she's very educated.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
But just this comment, what's so bad about Karen saying this woman that's coming into the group is really smart and educated? Why?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
But she's talking to the smart person. So it sounds like she's telling Wendy, watch out. Another smart person's coming onto the show. Yeah.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So she's like, well, I have no idea why Karen wouldn't want two like-minded, wonderful, smart, educated people to be together. And Giselle goes, yeah, I don't think it had anything to do with that. I mean, come on. Look at you.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Fuck you, Rihanna. And one of the paparazzi guys is like, shut up. She looks good in that animal. She looks amazing in that animal.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And Kierna didn't get to go to the Tally Ho, but she did get befriended, which is, oh, no. So, look, I don't know about some of this. I guess Karen has been caught doing this, but I don't see the problem. Listen, if there's a new person, you go directly to that new person. You go to lunch and you tell them the shit you think about everyone. I mean, who doesn't do that?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
This is just normal human interaction. I mean, Karen's not here to stand up for herself. But let me just say, as an elder person, I go up to the younger people and I talk shit to the people I don't like first before they can talk it about me. That's just how you do it, okay? It's self-preservation.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Well, it backfires because Karen doesn't have any loyalties. She shit talks everybody. And that's what keeps getting Karen in trouble. is that she keeps saying she's somebody's friend and then she's talking shit about them for no reason. God bless. Oh, Karen, I tried to stick up for you, but it's already been demolished. Goodbye.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So Andy says, so everybody's talking about the self-absorption, but does anybody here think that this is a valid criticism of Wendy? Is she self-absorbed and is she not a girl's girl? And Giselle goes, well, yes, she's self-absorbed. Have you been watching this show? But, you know, who isn't? We're housewives, basically.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So then Mia's like, well, we've had other birthdays, Andy. It's been my birthday. And Ashley's like, oh yeah, I heard there was some drama at your birthday. And Wendy's like, there was. We're going to bring it up.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So then Jassy comes out and, whoa, Jassy, Jassy, Jassy. I don't know if it's Jassy or if it's Jazzy. I'm just going to pronounce it different ways throughout this reunion and hope to get it right sometimes. She's like, oh, hi, Andy. Okay, well, you are engaged, so congrats.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
What's your professional side chick take? And they all crack up because that shit's hilarious. And so then we see a clip of Jassy trying to describe her timeline with Darius. And she's like, oh, yeah, we've been together a couple of years. He's a great father to two boys that were both already created before me. Are they Build-A-Bears? Like, what the fuck?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And she's like, well, the children are three and turned one a month ago. And... Wait. The children are three and turned one a month ago.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Well, you never know. You never know what was going on this season with the casting. So Jassy's like, well, let's be clear. I was never a side chick. I'm the whole production, baby. It's like, OK, well, there's your you just you just gave up your tagline that you didn't get. You know, you know, she's been working on that when they cut her from the show. She's like, damn it.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Okay, with all due, you're building your friendship with him while he was with another woman. And she goes, well, I had no idea. I mean, he's never posted the woman on social media. How was I supposed to know he had a girlfriend?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Who cares? He's in the NFL. That's all that matters. So she's like, yeah, well, they weren't together when she was pregnant. I mean, even she said that. That was unbeknownst to me. So whatever. She's like, if I'm going to be a side chick, I'm going to get me an Andy Cohen. I'll be your side chick, Andy. And he's like, you're not amusing. Still don't know your name. Can I get her name again?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And you're also going through just worse. Yeah. You're just going through worse taglines now. Monday through Sunday, every day of the week, it never gave side chick. Like, what does that even mean? So Andy's like, okay, well, you also coined a new name for GNA, gangsters and alcohol. Remember when Giselle kicked you out of her fundraising jogging pants party? What was that about?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And so now they try and give Giselle and Ashley shit for getting kicked out of that party.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
i forgot the lyrics and you know looking it up they don't just pop up which is crazy how how has nobody made a lyrics page for this song um so um there is one actually wow sorry there is i don't mean to derail this whole thing yeah but i need to know the lyrics like Throw up your hands. Forget about all your problems. Let's party, okay? Healing and thriving. No, not just surviving.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Healing and thriving now. Oh, yeah, I'm healing. Okay. Where's the carry-on part? I don't see it in here. Damn it. Bad lyrics. All right, carry on.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So then they start... She better not be flying on spirit.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So this is Ashley being asked about her divorce. She's like, I'm going to ask you the same question I ask you every year. Is it about Beavis? No, Ashley. Oh, okay. Michael are divorced. Well, you know, it's in the hands of State Virginia. And so we signed everything. And guess what? They are divorced. She announced it, I think, this week or last week. But she is, in fact, divorced.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Yeah, and we start, you know, she says she's taking responsibility while she's not really taking responsibility for anything, which is a very Karen answer. And we see flashbacks to the DUI video, which, by the way, if you haven't watched it, a preview does not do it justice. Go watch it. Okay. And so Ray is there and he's like, well, I had a couple of beers or something like that, right?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And she's like, okay, so you're just co-parenting with Gordon. And she's like, 1,000 brochures at a crack the back. And Andy's like, well, okay, well, let's go back to Ashley. Because no one believes Mia's ass. I guess I'll get into that later, that Mia's lying about her whole divorce thing.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So then Detricia from Austin, Texas says, does GNA even sell clothes? What the hell? Your website's just photos of Giselle and Ashley. And so they laugh. And Giselle's like, well, the timing was kind of off for us to be selling apparel. So we're not doing that.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And Ashley's like, I'm not spending money on that. I don't even know what I'm getting in the divorce. So now we're community outreach, health and wellness. Leave your brain tumors in your carry on. All right. Well, that doesn't have the same ring to it. Well, it's community outreach, Andy.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And Ashley's like, pay attention. We're not fashion. She goes, oh, oh. okay okay then and uh we're a liaison we're a liaison between the community and the charity so the community says where's gna and we say charity and then it just sounds like a boom a boom liaison oh
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Oh, yeah. They never came out with anything. So this one's a lot worse. So Andy goes, okay, so I still don't get it. So the focus, helping the community. Helping the homeless. Help the community. You know, instead of giving the homeless joggers, we roll down our windows and we say, run now. Liaison now.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
We put horns on the front of cars, tiny little horns that only deer can hear when Karen is coming down the freeway.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And they're like, but we were trying to stay at yours. So that's why we came last to yours. And Giselle's like, the event was over. You missed the part where we announced liaison. And she's like, oh, give me a break. And Ashley's like, yeah, the event ended at nine and you got there at 8.03. That's less than an hour. Listen, 57 minutes is enough time to get their money, stupids.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And she goes, yes, that's all I had. Listen to Ray now. What you will not do is tell me what I can and cannot do. And then the producer's like, so it's only a month till sentencing. How do you feel? And then we see another flashback to Karen in the car handcuffed. And she's sitting in the front seat, which... I don't think that's allowed, but you know, she's a grand dame.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Who kicks that many people out of a fundraiser?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I don't care about it anymore. It's too long ago. I can't. It feels like 10 years ago. This was a long season.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Well, that was one of the best ones because that was back when we were still like, oh, my God, they're back. This season's great. Because that's the first time we saw the new girl get all offended.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
You may want a potato, but guess what? I'm a hamburger. I'm never the side. Okay, Jassy, you can go. I don't care if it's September and I don't care if it's July. I'm not a side chick.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So Ashley's like, okay, well, since you're about to leave, when I saw you at the Christmas party, you mentioned that shit flew off the handle for Mia's birthday, so don't leave before you throw Mia under the bus.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
It's so sad to call it my final 40. I mean, God, doesn't that sound like I'm dead? I'm dying. It's the final 40. There's not going to be another 40 left. I was like, why are you saying you're going to die before 80? Like, have some hope in yourself.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
My final handle. It's my final three fingers. I'm just trying to find the right words. So then, so basically she invites them and Stacy replies, Mia, thank you so much for that special surprise. How fab. I'm so excited to celebrate with you, babe.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So she's in the front seat and she's like, do you know who I am? There's never going to touch me. This is like the ray of crimes. It's never going to touch me. So they call me the grand dame. I don't know what the fuck that's about. Andy Cohen gave it to me. Andy Cohen. And girl, you're talking to a presumably straight, but police officer. He don't watch your show. You got to know your crowd.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And Jassy's like, yeah. So Stacy said, come on, let's go to Miami. So we went to Miami. That's what girlfriends do, right? They support each other.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
i mean how do you have miami without mia right it's the first three letters so then um ashley and giselle are like what because she did not see mia when they went to miami and andy's like what so mia's like well first i would like to say i have since talked spoken to both of them and stacy's like you didn't talk to me and me it's like i did reach out to you i texted you two days later
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
You haven't spoken to me. Well, I reached out to her via text because it's 2025, right, Andy? And she's like, you can't call. You can call people who show up for you.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
With the implication that you like cleared it up. Stacey just keeps repeating,
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And just I was like, oh, my God, please stop her from repeating herself. It's making me crazy.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So he's like, so they didn't say they were coming?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And Wendy's like, but Mia, you're leaving out key points. They left the West Swamp because you told them to arrive by 8 and you didn't come until 11. And that's why they left. She goes, we arrived at 9. Okay, I was an hour late to my birthday. So was she there at 11 or was she at 9? There are a lot of things that never get cleared up.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Can't wait to see you beautiful. And then she says, this is now on Sunday.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
happy birthday beautiful and Mia's like well now this is a text that I did not get because I did not know she was in town Mia it's your phone number what are you saying it's a point of contact like Mia's gonna go without her phone for a whole two days especially on her birthday no girl you were sitting there on your phone reading all your Instagram happy birthdays we all know you were so just stop
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So I still don't get it. So what time did she get to Miami? Did they say what time she got in in the afternoon?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Then Andy reads the other text and Stacey's saying, listen, I'm so excited to celebrate you. I texted and called you with no response all day and I still showed up to your dinner party and no one was there an hour after it started and you still don't reach out to me. That was disappointing and disrespectful.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And Mia's like, so what's the problem? Oh my God, Mia's terrible.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
We were having dinner and it was lunch, but it was a dinner that she wasn't supposed to be or not invited to that I completely invited her to. So I just don't understand why I understand completely what's happening, which I don't understand.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Jacqueline's a PLC. And Jassy's like, well, Jacqueline told me that Mia was more worried about ink. And so Andy's like, do you feel bad? And Mia's like, shh, shh. I do feel bad because I wanted to have an opportunity to have a good time with these girls. But unfortunately, I was captured at lunch on a yacht that was dinner. It was really lunch. And I just know the POC didn't need the POC.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And so Wendy's like, yeah, so that's the bigger point. And Stacy's like, oh, wait, you guys weren't invited. Oh, come on, Stacy. You know, they weren't invited because you would have been texting them being like, where is this woman?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I've already got one daughter with Rayface, and now this. Now this! And then she goes, well, I should have probably taken the cab. And the police officer is like, yeah. Now, listen, for someone who apparently, as we hear in the reunion, drives drunk as much as Karen does, you would think that someone would have told her, don't talk when you're pulled over. Admit nothing and don't speak.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
That's bad friendship. I mean, it's like, well, I said I was wrong.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
And I just, I'm taking accountability because I did not drive drunk into a tree after driving drunk into a tree. Wait a minute, you're taking Karen's non-accountability accountability. Oh, I'm so sorry. It's just been so hard for me. Can I bring my PLC out here to speak for me?
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Welcome to Crappens! Don't wait a week for a new video. Join our Patreon at the Crappens On Demand level for instant recap access. Link in description. Enjoy the show! Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappin'. It's a podcast about all the crap we love to talk about. On your bravs. Hello, everybody. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. That's Ben.
Watch What Crappens
#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
She's about to try it. She's about to try the trauma cloak again. And they're like, denied, denied.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
All right, please leave. Please just go.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Okay. Kierna's like, wait a minute. Now I did look for Karen's womb.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So now Mia tries to go into Stacy's dressing room. So Stacy is there with Jassy. And she's like, guys, I just wanted to say I really care about your friendship and I'm sorry. And Stacy's like, well... I just feel like you are crying right now because we're calling you out and you didn't even say anything to us until we were back in D.C. It just doesn't feel genuine. Sorry.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Especially that she's like, and that's what they're going, I'm leaving.
Watch What Crappens
#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
But that said, even if a show doesn't have a good season, it can have a good reunion. And so far it looks like this one is. And the new girls are stepping up. Well, at least Stacey, you know, are stepping up and making it happen. And I love that they found a new foe for Giselle because Giselle can't be there without somebody to hate on. And this girl's not going to take her shit. So I love it.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Don't take a breath. Don't do anything. Just play possum. Yeah. Don't wear one on your head when you're doing a fake apology.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
yeah we'll be back later with crappy hour live tonight at 5 30 pacific time on youtube live or our patreon which is free you can go to the patreon for free and watch that and um we'll we do that every other monday get the traders recap tomorrow over at patreon and also probably in the morning we'll have a southern hospitality recap so we'll talk to you guys next time thanks for being here bye
Watch What Crappens
#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C, Dana Do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
We should do something about cars being so addictive. It's a very comfortable car. I would rather sit nowhere else while I'm drinking for funsies and not addiction.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Mm-hmm. So then they get to the police station, and the cop's like, would you like me to help you out? No, no, don't tell me what I can do. No, I can't do it. I am lit. I am lit.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
She is just... I mean, they might have started out with one criminal offense, and you just see him, like, ticking more criminal offenses every second. Then she goes, now... I know that a lot of little children look up to me. Girl, you are still drunk.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
In the streets on the police scanners of Potomac. We've been called to another school. There are too many kindergartners and shifty wigs. We're having a crackdown.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
hello this year for the girl scouts we've changed our mission all proceeds will go towards clearing karen's name she means so much to us i'll take six boxes of the i am lit thanks so damn those girl scouts by the way those little fucking drug dealers you know i'm so sick of these girl scouts I have a friend with a brownie, I guess. She's a brownie.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I shouldn't call her Girl Scout because, you know, I'm like, I should be harassing the brownies. They're who really deserves my ire today. This little fucking drug dealer is like, Mr. Brownie, will you support my brownie trip and buy me some cookies? It's like, sure. Send me 10 boxes of cookies. I've eaten 10 boxes of cookies. How do you stop eating those? I hate those little girls. I'm...
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
i'm i'm i'm on to you i'm on to you you little witches all right we're concentrating on alcoholism on this show but i'm watching you yeah i um i'm i i guess i'm fortunate that all my uh girl scout cookie connects have gone away so i am not i'm not they're afraid of your house a girl scout walks up to your house you know get a job what are you doing here child
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
I'm Ronnie, or Rondal, whichever you prefer. Use whichever. Welcome. It's Monday, February 17th. Today is the Real Housewives of Potomac reunion part one. So we'll get into that in a second. Thanks so much for everybody who has been supporting our live tour, the Mounting Hysteria tour. We've been having a great time with that. You can catch us in March. Are you ready? Get your pens out.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
They're the creepy white van driving around the neighborhood and their mom's driving it. They're like, just find a fat person and throw some cookies at his head and then drain his bank account while he sits there and suffers from diabetes.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So a lot of children look up to me. Children believe that Karens are their future. Treat her well and let her lead the way. So then we see three weeks later, January 9th, 2025 at 6 a.m. The ladies are arriving to the reunion. And now they're walking around seeing if Karen's name is on any doors.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
They're like, I don't think she could find her name either. Poor Kierna. They're like, oh, God, Kierna's here. Okay, we got to put Kierna on. Get a name for her somewhere, please. Someone print it. You get to Kierna's room. It's just, like, drawn in a crayon. I know.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Oh, and then Wendy is very, very offended because that's Wendy's best look. It's when she's very offended, you know, and she's very offended that Karen won't answer the phone. What are you offended by? You're trying to you're trying to corner. All of you are trying to corner Karen at her most vulnerable state. And by that, I mean sober. On camera calling when she's not at the reunion.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
Leave the woman alone. Or don't leave her alone, really. But don't get all offended when she doesn't answer the phone. She's like, how dare she? I vote hard for her. You know? And if nothing else, at least for the people who soldiered for you and supported you, answer the phone. Answer the phone.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
So they delivered it anyway. They don't care. They really don't care.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
You know, they're like, just put a doll of Karen on the ground and we'll just kick that. Just kick that the whole time. So they all come. They look beautiful. I mean, this is a gorgeous cast and they're in white. So they're in all different, you know, white pearls and white sequins and all of that. And then, of course, we have to ruin it because Ashley's like, my bunions hurt.
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#2731 RHOP S9E18 Reunion Part 1: Dame Danger
We're going to be in Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, D.C., and Philadelphia. That is all in March. So go for more cities, ticket links, and all that good stuff over to WatchWhatCrappens.com. Also on our Patreon are Traders Recaps as well as videos of all of our recaps, including this one. Hi! So if you want those, go over to Patreon.com.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I'm approved. I'm not approved for myself. I'm approved for everyone else in the world, okay? Yeah. So Karen's like, well, my love theme party is meant to talk about love, sex, happiness, sadness, joy, pleasure. Not pleasure. Running, walking, tiles, wood, water, soda, bricks, concrete, clay. Wow, you're doing great.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So Stacey's like, oh, my God, I hope there's games because I'm so competitive. We're going to win so many games. And so Giselle immediately just starts giving her the third degree about this guy. Does he work here? What does he do? How big is it? When are you going to have sex with him? Why aren't you having sex with him? So they both tell her, like, drop this guy. He's a loser. Go get dicks.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Lots and lots of dicks, you know? And Karen's like, what do you like? She goes, well, I do what I like. Well, what is that? Well, I really like TJ.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Yeah, they're just not buying this whole, like, well, I'm a virgin. And, you know, we're being virginal. And she's like, well, you've known each other for a year. Nobody knows each other in a year. I mean, don't be looking for your connection in the church because those men are looking for a connection, too, for a woman. You know what I'm saying? They go to church on a Sunday.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I guess she's telling her, go to church. Keep going to church, but keep looking for men, you know? Yeah, because, yeah. Sorry, go ahead. Giselle's like, my husband found plenty of ass in church. He's still doing it. And he's the leader of it.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Find sales on show-stopping proteins like Whole Foods Market Beef Brisket, Golden King Crab Clusters and Lobster Tails and their new organic spiral cut bone-in ham.
Watch What Crappens
#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
One person in a place that is not going to cheat is an actor in Los Angeles, California.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So Karen's like, oh, he's got a whole life in L.A. I'm just saying. I'm sipping now. Hold on. Let me just process that. And then Giselle's like, we can leave her alone now. So then Stacey's like, why are you guys looking at your watches all of a sudden? They came to virgin shame you, and now they're out of here, you know?
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
You're not getting dick on purpose. I'm going to go back to not getting dick on accident and go see my husband.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Yeah, you look at the charges, it's like I agreed to a certain amount, and then you look at that bill, and it is nowhere near the number that you agreed to. But then there's like 90 million charges on top of what you agreed to that were just secrets. Sorry, but not with mint. Say bye-bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw-dropping monthly bills, and unexpected overages.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
All plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
$45 upfront payment required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speeds slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Yeah, I thought Vivian was like super excited to be a friend of and they were like, oh my God, look who we got.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Vivian took like two episodes and she was like, I'm not doing this anymore. She's like, no. These people are nuts.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
It's a Wendy party. So people are like, why are we doing this? Does anybody know why Wendy has brought us here today? And guess what it is. Hi, everybody. Remember last week when it was my 40th birthday? I'm like, are you fucking kidding me with this? We had another party to announce that it was your 40th birthday.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
They're just talking about the love again. And Ashley tells them she's dating Beavis. And Jacqueline comes and then she's like, oh, we haven't seen Jacqueline for a while, right? And Jacqueline's like, well, I know I was not invited to a lot of y'all's events, but okay, who cares? I mean, I know you wouldn't want to invite the most popular person here, but whatever, I'm not insecure about it.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Does anybody have a camera? You should put this on Instagram. Tag me.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
No, I jumped forward. So I was like, this party should be over now. Let's just jump to Wendy at the end of the episode. And then the credits rolled. Just kidding.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Especially when it's told by a full cast like that. Like, it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know?
Watch What Crappens
#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
It was worth it. It was worth every lie I told. I'm sorry for shit.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Are we hiding something? What are we? Are we hiding some cash? Like, what do we do? Are we there to buy some Tommy Bahama hats? Like, what else is there?
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I really want to see a lot of Amazon shipments trying to get through.
Watch What Crappens
#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
She is... Their reactions were all pretty funny. Kieran is like, well, Panama's not really my style. I like big Europe cities. Oh, okay. Do you? Okay. I like big Europe cities. Sorry. Sorry, Panama.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Yeah. So now they start talking about the Love Lagoon. And Mia's like, well, I thought about inviting Jacqueline. She's my lesbian lover. Because Jacqueline's not invited. And so she's asking people's opinions. And they're like, Karen's going to kill you. Woody's like, Karen's going to be mad as hell. Have fun. Have fun with that. So she goes up to Karen. She's like...
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Karen, I have a question for you. Do not try and get me to blow into another straw, Mia. It's not funny.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
But also, Mia is saying the reason that Ink can't come is because he's getting honored with an award. Oh, okay. Okay. Why are people getting awards literally every week on this show? What is going on? It's just desperate for fucking events to charge people $100 a dinner.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So Karen's like, don't do this to me. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Now listen, I'm pouring into Karen. Then I'm drinking out of Karen. I'm somehow falling down in the street, which I don't really understand why that happened. I'm not drinking, so. I just admitted to drinking, didn't I? I demand a recount. Objection.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I know I was waiting for the no pun intended, but it never came.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Now, listen, my home is my peace. My peace is my home. My home is my peace. So let me pour in the B. And she's like, Mia asking me if Jacqueline can come to my house after the horrible things that Jacqueline said about me. And then we see flashbacks of just her saying not that much, just that she'd called her drunk, which, I mean, I wouldn't have liked that either. But Mia has said way worse.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I'm sorry, that was me with the opioid addiction. The rhino and the murdering of people was true. That was all true.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
And she's like, absolutely, Mia, of course. So then Karen's like, they better not try me. So then Mia's telling Jacqueline, Okay, Jacqueline, I did ask Karen right over there. I don't know if you heard anything. It was a shoulder, you know, one shoulder away from you. And I said, can Mia come? Because Mia's so nice. And I promise you she's dressing better now that I helped her.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Bluffs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Benuni. Hi. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Good. How are you doing today on this Real Housewives of Potomac day?
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Today's not a good example. But can she come? And she said, no, no.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So, of course, Jacqueline's like, welcome. I mean, who cares? I don't want to go. Why would I want to go to what? Panama? Where even is that? And you know what? I'm good. And I don't feel wrong in any way, in any fashion. So I'm not going to extend any olive branch towards Karen. So there. So there, everybody. You're just going to have to deal with it. I refuse to go to Panama. There, I said it.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Yeah. Well, no, I think they're talking about the Lagoon party first because Eddie's going to come and bring, I think. So then, oh, no, you're right. Because Wendy's like, no, no. But he did say he's going to bring something for the love lagoon. So then we go to another Kiarna scene. You know, listen, I can understand the wanting to film Kiarna.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I cannot understand them keeping this shit in the show. Because it's really like, what are you guys doing?
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So Greg's like, no, no, that's a different Panama. It's Panama city. So are you going to the country or are you going to the city? She's like, I think the country, I mean, they said South America. So that's the country. And the theme is liberation. So we've got three divorces. We've got Giselle being an empty nester. We've got Wendy turning a new chapter being 40. And he's like,
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
uh three divorces is that because it's not because of the show right is that's a lot going on that's a lot and uh then it's really awkward where she just stares at him like you motherfucker you're doing this to me again because you know after every time they shoot she's like you are embarrassing me and talking down to me on television and if you fucking do it again he's like i won't i won't then he does it again like within five minutes and she just looks at him like i'm going to kill you
Watch What Crappens
#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
The show is. Bravo's like, you know what, guys? Guess what we're doing this season on Potomac?
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So now she makes them do the packing scene with her. So they go to do the packing and these guys could not be more bored. You know, she's like, should I take the Gucci or should I take the Louis? And you know, his mother's at home like, well, I wonder who bought that Louis. I'm going to check the records.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Yeah. So then we go over to Stacy with her Aunt Dora. Oh.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
And even Aunt Dora is trolling her about not getting any dick, which is really funny.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I love her. So then Dora's like, oh, you know, this divorce needs to end. It's just going on and on. She goes, and it's a year. It's a long time not to get men now. I don't know if I can last that long. I was like, yes, Dora. I love Dora. I love a spicy auntie.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Oh, my gosh. Yeah. She's like, is it that hottie from QVC? Tell me it's a motherfucker. It's so fucking hot. Fuck that guy. And Dora. My God, Mrs. T. And Dora's like, tell me that, man. Tell me that, man. I've imagined ripping his shirt off, pulling it over his head after I ripped it off, strangling with it a little bit until he climaxes all the.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I've never seen more Grey's Anatomy than I have when I've watched that five seconds of him showing up over and over and over.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So she's like, well, you know, we're just saving ourselves. And she goes, oh, God. You know, you're doing the right thing. I am, Aunt Dora? She's like, yes, that's what Jesus wants us to do. So congratulations. I'm going to have to fucking watch some Pornhub when I get home. I'm getting nothing from you. So you're buying this lunch.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So then we go to Giselle, Giselle's date with Namsa at Hoja. And they greet each other and start getting settled in and all that stuff. And Giselle's asking him if he likes to salsa. And he's like, well, actually, I used to live in Miami. So I took some salsa lessons, huh? I can't wait to show you a little salsa.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
over the top dancing yeah and then people circle around them and clap and but you're like show-offs you know yeah no I'm actually never like that I'm usually so grateful because I don't have to dance you know the more that the more people there are like that in the world the less that my family is like Ronnie why aren't you dancing you know why I'm not dancing fuck you all asking me
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
What an idiot I look like when I dance. That's why I'm not dancing. Okay. It's embarrassing. Last time I danced at a wedding, someone prayed tongues over me. Literally.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Tom Sandoval's girlfriend came out like, Tom Sandoval cheated on me. All this stuff, which we will talk about tonight on Crappy Hour. But I mean, everything. It's like it comes out and I'm like, I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy now. It's like singing show tunes of people. Thank you, Wicked. Well, today is Real Housewives of Potomac Day.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Can I tap dance? I could do that. No, I got in trouble for doing a risky business dance because that song came on. I've told you this before. But for those of you who knew, this risky business song came on at a really religious wedding. And I came out in my boxers. I was like, it's just boxers. I mean, they do it on TV all the time. And I slid across the floor and people were laughing.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
And I got in so much trouble. And one of the my grandpa ended up we found out he had a stroke. So we all had to leave. My whole family starts leaving. And then this lady pushes me up against the wall with her husband and put her hands on my head and started praying over me in tongues. She was like, please, Lord, save this man, this deviant, this deviant soul.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
He doesn't know what he's doing and literally kept me. My dad was never so mad because we were missing the stroke while I was getting tongue sprayed. And I couldn't be like, fuck off, lady. Because I just made this huge infraction at a religious wedding. So I'm never dancing again at a wedding is the point. You just love that old time rock and roll. What can you say? God, not even anymore.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I'm traumatized every time I see Tom Cruise. I'm like, no one's prayed tongues over his ass.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Well, just like his running. It's the running that he does.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Like Shannon Bedore in the tap dancing scene in Real Housewives of Orange County where he runs like this all the time. He just runs so aggressively.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
But also he's not just saving. He's not just saving a country this time. He's saving the entire world.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
It's also Crappy Hour Live, which happens every other Monday at 530 Pacific Time over on YouTube Live. Just find us on YouTube. It's also where you can stream our videos a week after they're released. If you want them fresh, get them on Patreon.com slash Watch What Crappens. It's also where our bonus episodes are. Right now, they are the new Bravo show sold on SLC Recaps.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
begets a sequence of her dancing which is accurate she's not a good dancer well here's one thing i'll say for giselle she's a terrible dancer and here's another thing this is the first time i've seen any kind of chemistry with her and somebody on i mean it's giselle so i'm assuming this is just a fake storyline to promote their dating show that they're going to be doing
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
But whatever it is, they found someone hot enough that she's actually feeling it. She's like, wow, this guy's actually hot. I've always felt like she's faking it. But this time I at least got some like she's alive kind of a feeling.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Yeah, well, we'll see what happens with those crazy kids. Now let's go over to Karen's Love Lagoon party.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I love that Ray is being accused yet again of hurting a mermaid. It's like this has happened to Ray before.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
He's beef jerky covered in adobo. The man is dry you out.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So they're nervous because they're taking these dudes. Basically, it's like a second date, and they're going to a couple's party where they have to have games and stuff. And Giselle's like, don't worry. I'm not going to let them bother you. And then we see the love boat. We see this love boat montage of wacky things.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Okay, so they're making these blue drinks with dry ice in them and martini glasses, and the martinis are just frothing over. So they start playing this sexy music and then showing these martinis literally every two minutes for the next. It's so funny. I don't know if they just didn't get enough footage that day, but then they're like, okay, another couple's coming in.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Look for sales on curated cheeses to create a grazing board everyone will love while the dinner's getting cooked. You're in the right place to get all the best accoutrement like nuts, dried fruit, and chocolate.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
This will be our last Crappy Hour of the year. So excited. Join us, okay? It's going to be so fun. We've got lots of stuff to talk about. Also, we're going on tour. We start in January in San Francisco. It's our big opening show. We're so excited to be back in San Francisco. Go get your tickets. Also, the Golden Crappie Awards are February 1st in New York City on Broadway. Speaking of Broadway.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
You're doing fantastic. Fantastic stuff. So everybody starts coming in and Mia shows up alone. And Stacey's like, it takes a confident woman to show up at a couples event alone. It's like, well, actually, I'm happy coming to a couples. Why am I talking like Meredith? Actually, I'm very happy coming to a couples event solo dolo.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Wow, that bottle's young enough for your husband to impregnate while you're dating. Yeah. Your boyfriend, rather. She's not married to him, right? No.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
No, they're not married. So Karen's like, you, you are the best gift giver. And Wendy looks around at the decorations and she's like, I'm not going to say I spy on the girls, but baby. And then we see a clip of Wendy's birthday, which had white flowers. So there's some white things at this party. So this must be a copy. Girl, this is nothing like your party. I don't know what you're talking about.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
This has blue martinis, so pay attention, please.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
No, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am. So then Eddie brings, you know, his stuff. And happy Eddie stuff to pass around to everybody. And they're like, so, Ray, you have a pool? How often do you go in the pool? He's like, if the mermaids are in there, I'll go every day. Ray, I didn't touch a mermaid.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Well, once you said that he's like, you can smell the formula on his breath or whatever. I was like, oh, my God, he is a baby. He's a baby with Beavis hair.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Oh, okay. Yeah. So then they'd make some small talk, whatever. Should we just get to the game, or was there something important happening?
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
They're like, hi, mermaids. Okay, let's go to the game. So they play a game. Wait, I do have something to say.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So we're psyched for that. Go get your tickets for that. And all of our dates are... They're not all linked yet. We're missing some links, but they are all announced over at watchwhatcrappens.com. So go buy your tickets.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
You know, he's gonna be sweating soon. So, well, as long as she's not, because then you're getting someone else's butt sweat on you. You know, that would not be good. Yeah. So, but they're new, you know, that's what you do when you're new. You're like sitting on and also we're gay. So we don't get to do that stuff at parties really.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I mean, unless we're at a gay party, but usually I don't think even we do that there, but yeah, we're not used to being able to sit on each other's laps in public like this. So it's like, well, that's just so weird when you see somebody else like, Oh, do they get to do it?
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Okay, so the first question is who's cheated on each other? What kind of game is this?
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So they ask for each other. So like Wendy has to say if she thinks Eddie's cheated and vice versa.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Also, because if you had cheated, I probably would have seen the mermaid again at some point. I didn't do anything to the mermaid. All right, Ray, calm down. So he's like, you are correct. I never cheated.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
And Giselle goes, what was he going to say? Wendy goes, yeah, what's he going to say? I cheated in 1986.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
We see flashbacks to all the cheating accusations of just them being like, wait a minute. Why are you acting like you... you weren't fucking blue eyes, the driver. And then we just cut to Karen at the reunion being like, just sucking on those dentures. Like guilty as hell. You know, Karen is guilty when she starts taking all the cilantro out of her teeth with her lips. Yeah.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Yes. Okay. Welcome to the Real Housewives of Potomac, buddy. It's the Blue Lagoon. The Lagoon episode.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So TJ is like, I have to agree with her. And they're like, oh, my God, burn. And she goes, wait, so what are you friends? Are you friends with benefits? Friend with no benefits? Are you sleeping with anyone in L.A., TJ? Are you? And he's like, well, my bug's money that's on my bed.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Oh, my gosh. Do you guys not have enough ick? Okay. Do you not have enough ick?
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
That's not a thing. It's just weird. And so I like that they all boo him. Just like, not a good answer. Not a good answer.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So then she's like, oh, well, we did have lunch together, Karen and I. And we did tell Stacy that we should find a bunch of penises, all different shapes, sizes, colors, and do what penis do. That is what she needs to do with penises. And she goes, well, why did you have to tell the story like that, Giselle? Geez.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
He's like, yeah, TJ, he's bungling this so bad. So then TJ's like, well, I get that. And listen, if you guys weren't her friends and you weren't looking out for her, you wouldn't have said that, right? So I'm putting everything into being transparent and not having something on the side. And it's just... So are you going to answer the question? Like, yes, exactly.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
And just the way he worded this, I'm putting everything into being transparent, not having something on the side. Well, what does that mean? You're putting energy into not having something on the side, but do you have something on the side or not? Answer the question.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Jassy's doing this thing where she's like, look at me standing up for myself. I know my man has lied before about a whole child. And although I never caught him, I'm also not an idiot. I am not. Ma'am, he had two. Two of the children while you were dating him. Yeah, you are an idiot. You're still standing right fucking there. What are you talking about?
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
And he goes, well, you know, when things are on break, I'm not going to deny that maybe things happened when we were on break. I'm like, what are people still using that bullshit from Friends when we were on break? Two children later? Okay, let's just take the two out of it because maybe it's just one. A child later? I don't know. Come on, man. Come on.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
like jazzy come on now yeah so then um greg's like i'm gonna say no because she's being followed so i would know and they're like which probably isn't a joke uh so i didn't laugh really so then um me is like well i'm not going well i'll speak for gordon because i'm still legally married to him And the answer is no. He does. I do not think that he's cheated. And Giselle goes, wait, wait, wait.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Mia, stop. And then we see Mia revealing in 2021 that she had a threesome. And Mia's like, that's not cheating. If I said you can sleep with her, it's not cheating because I knew about it, you know. And Stacy's like, oh, my God.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
She also had a child with who she's cheating on, which was Ink, possibly. Maybe. We don't know yet.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
With an award that I'm not naming here because I would like to maintain Ink's privacy about public awards that he's receiving.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
The Cable Ace Awards are like, here's a pack of gum for winning this. Best Wings cast member of Wings reruns. It was all like that. So then now they talk about like who's more dominant and who's more submissive. And Kierna is like, TJ, this could give some insight into you. Basically, they just all bag on him for being a virgin still. And he's like, but I'm not a virgin.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
And so Kierna is like, oh, so you can let Stacy know how you like it when you get there, I guess.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
It looked very easy to me. I mean, they were walking. It was for kids, so they were walking across, like, bridges. It wasn't just a rope, you know? But Mia's like, I don't know. I also like that Mia wore a... kind of like workout leotard thing that just carefully featured her tramp stamp. Like she really bought one that really just showcases that one spot on her lower back.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So Mia's like, I laugh when she goes, well, with Gordon, I was dominant with Gordon because you have to be. Mania, am I right? But Ink, like, he likes to choke me, so I'm going to give him dominant. Stacey goes, oh, my God, it's 12 in the afternoon.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
oh my gosh so wrong in so many ways but i laughed so funny so then um oh this is gonna move on yeah no but karen goes yes i'm sure ink has to use 12 apple boxes just to get to the next i love that she just keeps saying it and i laugh every single time like i never don't laugh at that
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
It's so funny. So then, you know, they start talking about Ashley's lesbian, you know, dips in a lady punish and say lesbianism, but bisexuality and stuff. And then Wendy talks about how Ashley showed her bits in Mexico. And then Darius starts talking about how he also likes to choke. And it's not cute from you, Darius, because you're a cheater already. We don't want to hear it from you.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
You know how stupid I am? I did not when I watched this last night. I don't know if I started scrolling on my phone because I just thought it was over or what. But I was just scrolling and then I heard, do you have a dog? And they were playing Jaws music. And I was like, are they playing this because they're so terrified of the dog? I didn't even notice it was Jacqueline coming over.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I was like, you know, there is nothing like just really featuring that tramp stamp on a kid's day, like kids day out.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I was like, that's hilarious that they're making all this big to do about this little tiny dog.
Watch What Crappens
#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Oh, my gosh. All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being with us. We will talk to you tonight at 530 and every other week at 530 Pacific Time for Crappy Hour. Go get tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour at WatchWhatCrappens.com, also the Golden Crappies. And we will see you next time.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Hava Nagila Webber. Know Your Worth with Jason Couric. Sip Some Scotch with Jessica Trotch.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Rigging the Funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She Gets an A from Us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's Give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino. Always Killin' It, it's Lola Alcalani. We Love Her on the Rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Yeah, yeah, she didn't listen to shit. So Jeremiah's my favorite because he's like, well, you know what? If you fall, we'll survive, but you're probably going to be in a coma. She's like, what? He's like, yeah, but at least we'll all be in a coma together. Like, at least now we're not just waiting for dad to fall into one.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I love that poor Jeremiah is just like growing up with Gordon as a dad. He's like been preparing for a parent to be in a coma for years now. He's just like seen it as an inevitability.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
I was like, he's thought a lot about comas, this kid.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So she's like, yeah. So Jeremiah's like, well, I can tell you're never going to do this again, but once you find out you're alive when you get to the end, then maybe you'll do it again if you really are alive and you didn't slip into a coma and are just dreaming in a world where you think you're alive. Can you hear me? Daddy, walk towards me. Don't go towards the light.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Make Whole Foods Market your holiday headquarters.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So she made it. Yay. So then we go to lunch with Stacy, Giselle, Karen, eating at our favorite place, the Fig and Olive.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Yeah, she's not protecting people. She's wearing one of those really like five feet tall things that cops use to go into crowds and just beat everybody down. What are they called? Like baton boards?
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Like the life-sized shields that when they go into riots, they like start stamping their shields and then they knock people down and stuff. That's what she's covered in. It's offensive. It's not to protect herself. It's to hurt others, okay?
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So they order food, and Karen orders a burrata, and so does she. And then the waiter's like, oh, do you guys want two burratas, or do you want to share? And Karen goes, hmm. I think Stacy should share my burrata. Hmm. And she's like, oh, my God, Karen. Thank you. Thank you so much.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So Karen's just so proud of herself. Like, look at me doing good deeds just to prove I don't only drive drunk. I also do things for people that need soft cheese that doesn't taste like much.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
It's actually not a burrata at all. I hit Michael in the parking lot and just served him all the things.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Floppy-ass Michael makes his return as a burrata.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So they make small talk about TJ and all that. And she's like, oh, TJ's doing so great. He'll be coming back from L.A. for the Love Lagoon. And we see him working in LA. She's like, he's on ER today. And he's like, hey, I'm on ER today. Or whatever it is. Not ER. Grey's Anatomy. That show is still on?
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So just, I was like, what are we doing at this party, Karen? Why is it called the love Laguna? And, um, We see the invite. Karen and Ray's Love Lagoon. You and your special someone are invited to join us for some fun in the sun and also 20 minutes of editors getting to play this music.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
So I'm already kind of like... Well, it's especially funny with Karen because you know Ray and Karen aren't fucking. Like, that's pretty clear. I mean, come on. And Karen's been cheating for years and everybody knows it. There have been rumors for years. So the fact that Karen's like, let's get together and talk about our sex lives is just... OK, just have just call it my vagina still works party.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
We'll all buy you a candle and just be done with it. You know, why do I have to sit through it? I don't care if your vagina works. I literally do not care. I don't care. You want to hear about me and my fupa and our journey? Nobody wants to hear it. And I guarantee you, if I started going off about it on this show, we would immediately lose hundreds of viewers and listeners.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Start your free online visit today at 4HERS.com slash crappins.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Nobody wants to hear it. And I don't blame you. I don't even like to see it. OK, I get mad. I mean, coming out of the shower.
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#2655 RHOP 0911: Virgin Lagoon
Yeah. And a fupa. But, you know, nobody wants to hear about the fupa part. Every fupa has a belt. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, I love having sex. I just don't want to. And I don't even mind talking about sex. I just don't want to hear about yours. That's my thing.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Like I'm learning things from the fire from watching that fire app all day. It's not red. Okay. It's not pink, but it's a red flag pink. Okay. It's a different color than a pink.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you. Yeah. No, no. Michaels, I want you to talk. I've talked too much. I'm TJ. I just wish you were more transparent. At the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing, and that's the life of the poor. Because I'd like you, you know? And I had to distance myself from you because of the way I felt. Oh, for Christ's sake, you got a coffee.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
That's more than I get after a blowjob. You know what I mean? Just thank your lucky stars and drink the goddamn thing. Just tell them to apologize to keep the Starbucks up.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Guys, I just got a call from my parents. There is shit in them right now.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
You got a coffee after a sloppy kiss in an Uber? Jesus, you're like a fucking beauty pageant winner. What are you complaining about?
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I mean, it's not like we had sex after. I mean, I would know your name. For example, vacuum. Wait a minute. TJ, what did you just admit to? And I like the term kiss and diss. Sorry that we had a kiss and diss. It's like a chip and dip, but kiss and diss instead. Kiss and diss. TJ's like, part of it is like, I have a hard time expressing how I feel.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
And Taylor's like, at least you can recognize it properly.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Wow. Thanks, Taylor. I needed that.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
HERS is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I think it might be a bit of a disaster. Yeah, it's hard, but you need to be real. It's time for a commercial.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
If you're looking to get away with all the fabulous luxe experience of the Housewives, but none of the drama, check out Virgin Voyages.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I just did my place all mid-century modern, and I got the most beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Saving is so, so important. You know, with everything going on in the world, you never know what's going to happen and you need to have your little nest egg going.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Investing involves risk. Acorn Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash cravens. So then, Charleston, Charleston, Charleston. And now we're back at Maddie's and they're talking and he's like, I'm going to hug over. I've seen Michael's hammer twice and last night with number three.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
So then Maddie's like, yeah, I've never seen him like that. Joe's like, God, that's amazing. Yeah, because everybody cries on their birthday. I mean, I cried on my birthday. You cried on your birthday. He's like, uh-uh, I did not cry. Joe Bradley, do not lie.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
By the way, crying doesn't make you less manly, but sandals do.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Well, I don't know, because that's just wasting money. One thing was farting after you eat something, nanny's chicken parm. But then the next thing is just wasting your money, you know?
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Well, some of them are. Yeah, I used to wear disposable ones. I still have eye problems because I used to wear my disposable ones and then I would sleep in them for days. You're not supposed to do that. And now my eyes are all messed up. I'm like, oh, I wonder what I did. So back at Maddie's, Maddie's like, yeah, but yesterday when you asked TJ to talk, you were kind of aggressive.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I mean, we were all like, whoa. Like I looked over and then they were like, whoa. And then like the balloon guy was like, whoa. I was like, holy crap. Whoa, Joe.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Yeah, but he's like constantly talking shit around this town. And there was that one rumor. Remember that one rumor? And then we see a flashback to the boxing gym where Joe's with Austin and Austin's, you know, Joe's got some weights in his hands and Austin's got a log. And Joe's like, like three or four years ago, TJ spread a bunch of rumors. You were gay.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
And Austin's like, yeah, I used to tell me because I used to kick it with him around that time. And he was straight up telling me that you were gay. I was like, bro, can we stop talking about a guy's weenie and beans? I'm literally cooking weenie and beans over a trash can fire in a can.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Oh. That's what I believed him. I believed him when Joe said he was fruity. I mean, but wasn't this, am I still allowed to say fruity? Is that like something that like in the past two weeks we've had to stop saying the rules are always changing. I'm like, I love that Charleston still doesn't know they can't say fruity. Like it's just coming to them. It's just getting over there. Snail mail news.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Well, listen, it was very destructive because Maddie thought he was fruity. And so she became a fruit fly instead of being his wife, which she tells us now. That is the reason that I didn't hook up with Joe for a very long time.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
So Joe's like, yeah, he makes you feel like you could trust him. And then he, like, just rolls out of Ubers. Like, when I told him about the Luan thing, and then we see a flashback where TJ's like, I am 99% sure that he's up with Luan. He's like, whoa, bro, what happened to Brocon? So he's like, that's when it hit me. TJ's the one that's telling people that I'm gay.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
He's like the mouth of the South, which, you know... Would fit me better if I was gay. God. Kind of wish I was gay.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
So then Maddie's like, yeah, but obviously I slept with Joe and I sleep with Joe and he likes pussy. So, yes.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
L-O-fucking-L. So then we go to Republic, where everybody puts on their shirts outside walking up to work. I don't really... Yeah. Can you put your... I mean, listen, you all work out somewhat, so that's good, but... Why do you only put on your clothes outside as you're walking in the door?
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Then Maddie and Joe come in and she's like, oh my God, Joe, please don't wear flip flops. I count with men in flip flops. I call those fruit flops.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
She's like, you burned my hair. Start with baby steps, like work the Keurig, then graduate to curling iron. Well, there's another step before curling irons. You know, curling irons are rough.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
You can't redo curls, Joe.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Add this to the list of things Joe can't do for me. No more holding balloons. No more curling my hair.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
You got time to lean. You got time to strengthen your spleen, people. It's Leah motherfucking CEO. Owen here. You want to make fun of me for wearing polyester? Fuck you. I'm in rayon now, bitch.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
How's everyone doing, buddy? How's everyone doing? Let's talk turkey. Let's talk the game. How's everybody doing? Who's on fifth? Who's on fifth? How's Austin behind the bar? Log guy. Tell me about it. Go. People want to fuck him. Do they want to drink what he pours into a cup? Don't fucking lie to me, Michaels. I'm looking you right in the eye. Look at me and tell me.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Good, good answer. Fuck that guy. Burn that guy at the fucking stake. We don't need any more. Listen, we've got enough mediocre people in a fucking mustache. Let me guess, he has a fucking Harry Styles tattoo on his goddamn chest. Get rid of the fucking loser.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
um okay but well i i kind of want to have him trained on vip service tonight and have brad come and join him a little bit you know what i'd like for the economy not to be in the fucking tanker michaels that's what i'd fucking like but guess what cheese sticks weren't built on fucking dreams okay
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
When I walk out of the room, do you just turn into a bunch of fucking pods? Because I'm fucking life-bringing in here, people. You're welcome! Now marry some goddamn catch-ups.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
so basically from all that we learned that she is going to move brad to vip service where he doesn't have to you know do as much things as like put vodka in a cup and shake it with an olive because that was like the big complaint that they showed when he's like yeah it's not great and then they showed the clip of the girl being like oh my god this dirty martini never gonna order it again he's like it's vodka with a tiny bit of vermouth and an olive bro
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I don't like that. That man doesn't even know what it's like to go through an airport security without having to take off his shoes. Like, he doesn't even know that used to be a thing. He doesn't know.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Actually, he doesn't remember a time when you could bring toothpaste onto a plane. That's crazy.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Yeah, that's also the year that Justin Bieber was born. When he got engaged, I was hysterical.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I swear to you, she's the girl last year who said that she made out with, what's his buns?
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
So we see pictures of her family on the screen. And they're like, we have a private jet. And then we see pictures of her on tropical vacations and wearing lots of flower dresses and stuff. Her Aunt Mandy on TV. And here I am, building a new persona for Molly.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
boostie by boostie it's like you go girl you go so i'm back to republic uh emmy's like so is that what you do in your free time like stalking justin bieber is that why you're so tired am i right guys did you hear that it was a good one it was a good one and she's like bitch i've been at republic for almost a year from the minute i started emmy's made me feel pretty uncomfortable
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
So, I mean, it's like, well, you know, I was a party planner for a year, don't you? She goes, oh, were you? And then Brad goes, yeah, but she didn't pay you. Ooh, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And she's like, yeah.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I don't like being in competition with women. That's like, that's a below me. I mean, let me just tell you, I won this one is all I'm saying.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
That's it. I poured wine one time next to Will. So form your own conclusions. And guess who didn't tell me to say that?
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
That's it. That's it. I think that she's just a slow build, maybe. I hope so. Maybe they're just, like, letting her warm up. I can tell you this. That girl does not give a fuck. Like, I feel like most people get onto TV and they're like, oh, my God, who can I get a fight with? You know? Or, like, look at Molly.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Molly's, like, flirting with Emmy's boyfriend, throwing her under the bus, trying to ruin her life all in one episode. You know? She's like, my dad's not giving me a show, so this is the only time. This is Molly's show now. But Lake is, they're like, Lake, let's shoot a scene at your house. She's like, mm-hmm. I'm like, okay, Lake, just be you. And she lies in bed and eats.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Now, that's my kind of girl, first of all. So I'm an auto fan of fucking Lake. But I love that Lake's just like, I'm going to give you nothing. I'm going to lay in bed in my pajamas and eat and text.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
He's like, yeah, I actually know what it's like walking blindfolded through a room full of Legos because of What's-Her-Face's room. What's-Her-Face's house from last year. Lucia's house. Was it Lucia? Yeah. So he's like, yeah, I have to work for her. Oh, please. So then also I'm protective of Lake. I want him to leave her alone because he's a douchebag. He's like a known douchebag.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
We saw how he was with Lucia last year. I did not like that. And now he's coming on. And this girl's like 20. So please go away, you know? And Brad is also just, like, not interesting. I know. When he first said I'd walk through a room full of Legos, I was like, that's like a family reunion for you.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I think maybe it only bothers some people. Yeah, I would hope. That's really putting yourself into the lion's den there. It's like, oh my God, why is that guy twerking all the time? What is he doing? So then we go to Austin in the confessional and he's like, yeah, I love helping people and giving to others. So that's why I like serve alcohol.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
It really, really, really gets to that part where I can just help people. You know what I mean? So like Republic is like the big league. So this is like the start of a beautiful chapter for me.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
So then we go back. I love all this working in the restaurant stuff, by the way. Because half the show is I'm actually working in the restaurant.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
And we get people gossiping at the bus station, which I really like. So then Michael checks in on TJ at the bar.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I'm sorry, I'm still looking around the room. So just stay on the rock with me while I do.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
If someone said that to me, I'd be like, ew, no, sorry, I'm busy.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I thought that was such a... Listen, maybe it's because I'm just as inept as TJ at this stuff, but I was like, that's a huge step for TJ. Good for you.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Yeah, but I just love this for gay culture, that you're like, let's show the first gay date at the Petty Place. TJ's like, so, how are you feeling? He's like, tired. You want some wine? No, because I don't think I should be drinking for two weeks. Did you have fun at your birthday? And by birthday, I mean where you were making out with that slut. I mean, I'm just kidding.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
And then we see at the party that he told Molly, I guess I deserve that. So he's like, yeah, I was like just in complete shock. And that's when I realized there were feelings there, like emotionally. So, okay, I can only look around the room so much. Okay, 10 minutes has passed. Okay, literally a week has passed. So are you going to say something or?
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Well, that was a misleading thing to say. And Michaels tells us, it shouldn't take seeing me with someone else for you to realize you have feelings for me. But isn't that like every romance movie ever? It's literally the Love Island playbook. I think that's where TJ is kind of off here. I think everything's different kind of dating generationally.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I do think it's different because I think this is like a romantic thing to say. Like, I took you for granted, but then I saw someone else with you. I think it's been in like 90 movies. And I'm not saying it's right or that it's emotionally off.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
mature of TJ because I get I just want to say I understand that he's not being emotionally mature necessarily so far in the situation but I think part of it is things that Michael's just can't understand yet and maybe TJ doesn't even know how to express I don't even know if I know how to express it but there's a certain thing when you're like younger and gay well younger I just know being gay but younger and attractive and the way that people approach you like you don't really have to do anything
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
But then there's this turn when you start getting older where you become the one that has to make the moves. Like, you have to be like, I like you. What do you want to do? What are your feelings? Like, when I was younger, I never had to do shit. And then when I was older, I was like, oh, God, I'm the one who has to have the talks? Like, oh, I hate that.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
And I think maybe TJ's kind of adjusting to that new thing in life. Because to us, he's very young. But to them, he's like old Methuselah, you know? Yeah.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I'm getting that he did like him, but he's thinking that this is a romantic way to say it while sweeping all of that under the rug. You know what I mean?
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
The twink card has just been reversed on me. Like, what do I do? Cause Mike has to TJ. That was like a huge proclamation of love. And I was like, wow, that took a lot of guts for him to say that, you know? And then Michael's is like, uh, I don't really know what to say. I mean, thanks for telling me. Sorry. And he goes, no, I mean, it's fine. I am. You're allowed to feel that way.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Why did we book a date at a place that I can't run away? This bitch. I don't know.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
So this was kind of a touching scene. It was weird. I loved it. I've really loved it, too. And it was nice to see it. And it was nice to see TJ kind of going through all of that on camera. You know, it was weird and nice. I liked it. But we also never get to see this from.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Oh, we're not going to do Real Housewives of Potomac this week. The Bravo schedule is so out of control at the moment that we are sacrificing that one this week. Mostly because it's just a very queer, baity, stupid episode. I'm not in the mood. I'm not even in the mood to yell about it. And if that tells you something, then that's kind of where the season of Potomac is going.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
We will be back with Potomac next week, though. But you know what? This week we're going to spare it and put it on a shelf. And that does a favor to that show.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
We're sacrificing Karen this week. So we'll be back with that next week. Really, we are sorry for that. But something's got to go. That's it. So today. We're here with Southern Hospital.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
It's a Bravo moment. And, you know, we were talking about Brittany from Salt Lake City, unable to work her Keurig this week. So it's been a whole, you know, it's been a week of Keurig issues on Bravo, but at least Brittany, we were like, is it because she's Mormon? And that's basically like learning how to inject heroin for the first time. Yeah. I mean, I don't know.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
But for whatever it is, Keurig, I guess, make it easier. You know what I mean? Like take a note. The song leading us into this was
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Joe can't work a fucking Keurig, okay? Get a better supernatural power. You're waiters, you know what I mean? Yes.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Yeah, for this show, it would be. What's-her-bones, Grace Lilly would be like,
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I'm sorry. I just don't like men that use Keurigs. which we get to later with her. I don't like men in sandals. Okay, I don't think you can start this. Look around at the men that are surrounding you and just consider yourself lucky at this point, okay? Now's not the time to make a checklist.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
TJ, don't bring Taylor on. Like, really. Just...
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
i feel like you're working your way into everybody's good graces this year just leave taylor at home i mean taylor is like an eraser she's like an eraser on a pencil nobody well that's useful that's useful yeah she's like an eraser on a on a sharpie okay it's like why is it there yeah unnecessary so their dogs are playing and taylor and tj's like so want some coffee and she's like
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
So then we go to Emmy's apartment and she's like, good morning, sunshine. I just got you egg and cheese. Best wife ever. Look at me, basically pregnant. I'm like, Oh, my God. Cracked out Emmy. Good Lord. Can I just have some of what she's having? Because I do something for an hour and I need to go to bed. Whatever crack she's cracking, send it on over.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I'm so fat and swollen. Die. Just please. How dare you? How dare you, sir? There are some of us who are trying to be proud of feeling fat and swollen, okay? Don't body shame and swole me. Swole shame me. So then we go, we get a flashback to his birthday party where everybody's going crazy and you know, everyone's getting wasted.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
You know, there were only probably like 90% of the party that was like, this party doesn't have balloons.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Well, not anymore.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Call my husband. So then... Accidentes? We see pictures of the night before and stuff. And then back to Emmy. She's like, you know, and TJ was, he was just salty. He was like salty as fuck. Like, you know, like... Because Michaels was making out with that dude at the party. And then we just see a shot of TJ being furious. And it's this. This is TJ being salty as fuck. He's like, oh... whatever.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
he does a nose scrunch eye uh like eye intensity thing yeah and then he does like he looks left and right like a felix the cat clock he's like okay uh and michaels is like yeah he texted me last night did he say fire please said he say fire And he's like, no. He said, love you. Have a good night. I'll let you know how my meeting goes tomorrow. Glad we talked. Hand heart emoji. Ugh.
Watch What Crappens
#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
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Watch What Crappens
#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I mean, is this how gay people are now that you talk after you make out? I mean, listen, I don't think that that's a thing. I think that you're making that up. I mean, call me crazy. Isn't the kiss the statement? I don't know. I think you get peen before you even learn anybody's name. I mean, and listen, I'm glad you get peen before you know what it means. Yeah, I I've just never heard of this.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
And listen, I'm glad things are changing for a newer generation, but I've just never heard that before. And, you know, TJ is in a different generation. He's probably shocked that somebody is like, what? That's crazy.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Yeah, so then, yeah, like, he's glad we talked, but, like, what I said clearly didn't get to your brain. And he's like, yeah, it seems like you're just really dumb at this point. Like, get your shit together. I like Michaels, and I hope it works out with TJ and Michaels. I worry about somebody that I have to react the way they want me to in every situation.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Like, I get saying, hey, we kissed, and it kind of hurt my feelings that you didn't want to talk after. Like, I thought that was kind of weird, because I liked you. Which he did say, but now it's turning into, like, an apology, and then, but yeah, you still didn't react the way I wanted you to. I'm never going to react the way you want.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
You're just going to make people – I would just make people like this crazy.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
We didn't discuss my trauma and how it affected me that night in the Uber when you kissed me. And listen, I am saying that I do get that. I get him having the feeling. It's just, like, a long time later, and they've already talked about it. For him to still be, you know, upset about it is a little... I don't know. It's just a warning. It's just a warning sign. That's what I'll say.
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#2685 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part One: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
It's a pink flag. It's not a red flag. It's a pink flag. It's a pink. It's a pink. It's a beautiful pink flag.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Well, that's also real money, right? Like HVAC money. Well, first of all, not only is he a rich, he's a god because there's nothing I need more than air conditioning. So I already love this man. We don't hear about this man the entire episode, but I already love him because I love AC. But also the real money comes from real jobs.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
You know, like Stephanie's husband on Dallas, that guy installed like – Lockers, right? Didn't he put lockers in sports rooms? And this guy does HVAC, you know? That's where the money is, real things.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So then we see the Oakleys. So Angela's like, I am married to NBA legend, Charles Oakley. Started with the Bulls, then the Knicks. We've been married for eight years now. So catch that. And we see a flashback of their life. And they're playing horse or something. And she's like teasing him about his stats. And then she's like, yeah, you know, to some people he can come off direct.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
I was like, yes, an asshole husband. Thank God. No housewives recipe is complete without the addition of an asshole old grumpy husband.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And Britt's like, nobody wants to see that hot dog. I went on one date with him back in the day and he came on the date and he brought me a diamond necklace as a gift. Are you sure this was like a date or was this like a date? Because that's crazy.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So Cynthia's asking Kelly about herself and her kids and her sign. And oh, my God, Cynthia's a Taurus. She has an oldest daughter. Kelly's oldest daughter's a Taurus. And Cynthia's a Taurus.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
No, we find out they're actually both Pisces. And they're like, oh, my God, we're Pisces. And she's like, yeah, I thought you could pick up some Pisces energy. You know, I know that we attract drama. And Kelly goes, no, we don't attract it. I think it finds us. That means you attract it. Do Pisces just have to correct you over things that aren't correct in the first place?
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And she's like, well, damn, if coming in hot was a person, it would be Miss Kelly. Or Drew, which is why I'm wearing Drew's John and Kate plus eight wig from the TLC via in this confessional.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Because Brit, I think the thing that Kenya ends up accusing her of is like being a call girl or something later, right? And she's saying like, oh, I've even got these pictures of you with like dicks or something. And she puts them up at some party or something. Spoiler alert. So I guess that's the talk about Brit. So getting a diamond necklace on a first date's a little.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
It has 3.8 stars. Oh, that's not very good. Okay, let's read the rating. Let's read the reviews. Shrimp and grits, they love that. And then there's only, wait, how many reviews are there? I think there's only two reviews. Let me see. So the first one is from Miami Charger, and it says, I love this cookbook, and I highly recommend it. Shrimp and grits.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And then another person says, one star, very few recipes. And they're both from 2019. Well, maybe it'll take off now that the show's here. And it's also a collection with a K. Kooking with Kelly, a K election of family recipes from Nana's Chicken. I'm surprised you didn't call it Canna's. Canna's Chicken and Koffel's.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So, um, now Angela is saying that she doesn't really cook and thank God. Cause her husband doesn't like her cooking anyway. Huh? So then Drew comes in, in like a Patsy from AbFab wig. I'm not really sure what she's doing with this. So she comes in and she knows Kelly through my social media manager. He brought me some of her chicken and waffles and she makes very good waffles.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So I basically got some free waffles. That's how I know this lady.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So then we see them FaceTiming a flashback of Drew being like, I'm going through so much over here. Oh gosh, we'll lean on each other, right? We're both Chi-town girls. And Angela's like, I'm here for you. Now, who do I have to beat up? Who, who, who do I have to beat up? Oh, we're going to be such good friends on this show. No, Angela's going to hate this girl.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So then this is where Angela is like, oh my God, my wig, the glue, the glue, the glue is being melted in this heat. I can't. Charles, is my hair okay? And he's like, go to the bathroom. Charles, I mean, it's okay, right?
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So then Britt's like, yeah, he didn't get my tatas on the date because he didn't even know me, but he did come bearing gifts.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So then all the ladies are in white. It's a white party, right? So they're like, where's Shamia? Where's Shamia? And where's Portia? Why isn't Portia still here? And then we see 6.15 PM. Portia's still getting her hair and makeup done. And so now Kenya's here. So they start talking with Kenya and Kenya's still not divorced. And Britt's like, wow, five of you are going through a divorce?
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Wow, you're going through a divorce. You're going through a divorce. God, you're like minivans on an Oprah show. Jesus Christ.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah, was I the only one who didn't think this was so bad? Because she said, this is my second wedding ring, and everybody's been married multiple times, or a lot of these people, so I didn't think it was that weird. And she's like, oh, from a different guy? And she's like, no, one husband, one man. She goes, no, I didn't know if you were married before.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And she goes, well, no, this is the upgrade. This is the anniversary ring. And she's like, oh, an anniversary of the first ring. Yeah.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah, and it's also so obnoxious when someone's newly married comparing themselves to people who have been divorced after 10 to 15 years. Yeah, annoying. So she goes, well, Kelly's like, well, listening to Kenya's comment, I mean, that's a necessary shade. And I don't think you should be able to speak on anybody's ring if you don't have one. Oh, please. That's not true.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So then Angela comes back and her hair looks totally different, you know, knows what she's done to it. And she's like, yep, the glue's gone. Gotta upgrade the glue. So she goes, I just had to freshen up, guys. I just had to freshen up. So she's got like tape. She's got like gift tape from the junk drawer around her head.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
They're like, is that what the pillowcase is from the couch tied around her head? Nope.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
where's porsche where's porsche where's porsche so she comes down and um brit and kelly are talking and like well kenya was a little standoffish and brittany's like yeah she was like where's your wedding band and i'm like sweetheart if all you need to know is i'm married and you're going through a divorce but i'm married oh that's bad you should never shame somebody for being divorced because it's gonna don't say it on camera
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah, this will be used against you.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah, she's like, look at this rock. Never put so much of your pride. Don't base all of your pride on getting a diamond from a man. That's just so sad. I'm not saying you shouldn't be happy about it, but having your whole personality like, well, look at my ring that I got from some man. No.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
I've got state farm from the block.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So then Shamia is sitting with the ladies and someone comes over and they're like, oh, I have a surprise for you outside. So we know it's going to be the obligatory new housewife gets a brand new car to prove that she's really rich for the housewives audience.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah. So then, well, he was kind of like that with Porsche right at the beginning where he was giving lavish gifts and stuff like that. Now, no one ever said whether they went and got this stuff, like looked at by a jeweler. Cause that's kind of what I'm curious about. So then Brit's like, let's ask the best friends. And they all woo, like we're best friends.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Is that how you pronounce it? I'm too poor to pronounce it. I can't pronounce Cullinan.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Hey, who knew it would end up being better than Macaulay?
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah. She was like, Peter just gave me a half drunk, cold cup of coffee on my birthday.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So Shamia's doing like the, oh my God, it's a car, everybody, I got a car. And they're like, oh my God, Shamia got a car.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And then Shamia, I mean, Portia walks right up behind her.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And she's like, I am accepting my car.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
She just tells her, you're a little late. And then she continues trying to be happy, but she's pissed. And she tells us, listen, you know, let's be clear. I'm a fan of letting everybody, everybody's light shine. However, in this moment to the left.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
You also live in Buckhead. That used to be Portia's excuse when she would go anywhere else because she's like, but I live in Buckhead now. But Shamia also lives in Buckhead. I don't think you have the same excuse.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Which, you know, is going to be destroyed by the end of the episode. So then we go to Portia and Shamia and they're like, we are crazy wild girls. Shamia's like, I have a peach, we're going to a strip club.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
The shooting would be over, you know, and then she'd show up and try and start a fight just to get her paycheck in. And it's like, no. Yeah.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
She's like, well, long story short, Kel was upset because Shamia went back and told Portia what they discussed.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
She goes, well, I don't know. I don't think it's a thing, but in this circle of young, fresh people, it can become a thing. It can become a thing.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So she walks right over to the group and she's like, so, oh, and Britt starts with her first. She's like, Kenya, can I get a hug? Because I saw how you greeted me.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And Brit's like, um, can we not acknowledge the elephant in the room? Okay. And that was the elephant in the room and Portia's right there.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And so Portia comes in and says hello to everybody. And Kelly's like, okay, so my question was, why did she take that woman's husband?
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And she's like, um, my name? Let me give you a hint. I have a cookbook starting with the word K.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So Britt's like, oh, my God. I'm like, oh, my God. Okay, look, Kelly can be spicy, but that's my girl. And Angela's like, oh, I know she's joking, right? I mean, you're joking, but she was dead serious. And Kelly's like, yeah, but you didn't answer my question.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
She goes, you know me. You've spoken on me on Amazon Live. And she goes, um, I don't know you. And then she turns to Britt and she goes, is that your friend? And she goes, that's my girl. And let me tell you, she's sweet, okay? I think she just wanted to address the elephant in the room. I'm the type of person that says elephant in the room a lot.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So if we could just address the elephant in the room, that would be great.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So Kelly's like, I stand on business, waffle business. And the women who can't own what they're doing or saying is a joke to me. It's maple syrup without gold flakes in it.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So they go to the elevator because they have to move rooms because they can't fight. They're like, wow, this is a real party and we need to be able to fight. They're like in the kitchen. Yeah.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
It was like, it was a surprise. You know, I just didn't know anything, but I did send my assistant everybody's numbers and we all know my assistant. It's very shady and he didn't invite anybody. So she blames her assistant for everything. She has the sloppiest assistant. I love it.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah, and so Shamia's like, well, have you talked to Simon? Because he texted me this morning. He said, congratulations on the peach. Can't wait to see you and Gerald in that beautiful Buckhead mansion. And I said, thanks, bro. It was supposed to be all of us.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
It was a surprise, but I gave my assistant a list of people I wanted to invite to my surprise. So yes, which I guess he messed up on. So, but it was a huge party still of all my friends, except you guys. So she's still full of it. In other words. So then Portia's like, but Dennis, who's your assistant, Dennis?
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And she's like, well, Drew, I would be inauthentic if I didn't ask, are you dating Dennis now?
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
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Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And she's like, oh my gosh, now everyone's smearing my name already. I mean, you can just be like everyone else.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So they're having this serious conversation. Meanwhile, there's this lady behind them clapping her ass cheeks. I can't even call it clapping her ass. I don't know what the fuck we're going on with these ass cheeks. Were they robot ass cheeks? One was like doing the wax on wax off. One was doing the paint on paint off. One was like rubbing the belly. One was like patting the head.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
That was the most talented pair of cheeks I've ever seen in my life. I don't even know how anyone paid attention to this scene.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
It knocked itself in the face with its own dong so many times it just plumb knocked itself out.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So Shamia's like, you know, but then they asked me about Drew and because I had heard about Dennis and Drew hanging out, you know, and I heard they were at a club and she goes, yeah, for her birthday, right? Wait a minute.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
They're talking about how Portia trusted Drew and she's always been a supportive friend. And then we see, I don't think we saw this back in the day, but at the last reunion, when Portia wasn't in the season, Drew is in the makeup chair calling Portia for advice, which I thought was really funny.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And Drew's like, see, that's all I need. And multiple people are blushing her. She's like, that's all I need, Portia.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah, but how are you going to call yourself a friend of Drew's when you make her look like that in these ads? We see a shot of Drew with this Go Naked hair.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
I've been on Tubi. Can I get something a little higher class than this?
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So then we see everybody getting ready for the party and Britt's talking to her husband, Michael, and he seems very sour, which I like. And he's like, you know, everybody's going to be drinking. She's like, well, I'm not going to drink too much because, you know, I can be extra. And let's let's face it. It's not just my reputation here. It's insurance's reputation. So don't worry about me.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So then they're talking about who's coming to the party and Shamia has invited Drew and Ralph, which is weird. And they're like, aren't they going through a divorce? He goes, I don't know. I mean, whatever. And so Britt's like, well, I heard at the real estate party, at the real estate Oscars, I heard that Drew is dating Dennis. They're like, Dennis? Dennis the hot dog Dennis?
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So now Portia's FaceTiming with Cynthia and Cynthia's doing that thing like talking to your mom. Either your mom has the phone on the ground and you're like, Mom, I can't see your face. Or she's got it like this. Or she's like, Hi, honey. Mom, I can see your nose hairs. I can see your pores.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Well, or at least stop jumping feet or head first into pools that don't have water in them. You know what I mean? Make sure there's water in the pool.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So then Cynthia's like, well, I'm really sad. I didn't get to go to Nigeria while you were with Simon. Cause I really wanted to go to Nigeria.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So now they're talking about, you know, divorce, basically. And Cynthia's like, wait, wait, wait. So, you know, what the hell? What are you talking about with Dennis and Drew? They're not dating, right? And she's like, yeah, Cynthia, please get further away from the camera.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
um so cynthia's like well i just need you to catch me all the way up because now it seems like you're back outside and you know everything she's like i went back outside now i know too much so then we go to party time so kelly's the first one to arrive um and shamia's like listen we need to have a talk you know porsche's my best friend and you bringing her up at dinner and accusing her of cheating you know i didn't like that that made me feel very uncomfortable
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And Shamia's like, well, they were working together, but, you know, I heard that they were at the club holding hands.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah, she's like, I don't know about that girl. And by the way, I'm showing this wig from my go naked line. I'm sorry the model couldn't show up. It's just on a trash can today. So hopefully you guys will find that attractive enough to buy it. So then Kelly's like, you know, look, I'm going through a divorce, just like Portia, and I know what it feels like to be cheated on.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So that's where I was coming from.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
That's it. So to me, it's like, I didn't know you were cheated on. Well, that makes me feel a little bit for you. It explains, you know what? Thank you for being so vulnerable. Okay. Cause that's what we do here as the glue, as the glue. Let me just say, thank you so much for that. And I want you guys to be good, but I don't want to be in the middle of things. Okay.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And she's like, don't worry about it. I'm here to celebrate you. Okay. I'll wait to go for Portia until the second she walks in.
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So then it's party time. And now there's like a violinist standing on some kind of platform in the foyer and playing the violin as people comes in. I love new money. What?
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#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
No, go ahead. I was just reading what was happening. So Cynthia comes in and she's like, Cynthia just sees a violin player and she just looks at the wall. She's like, there's a violin player here. I haven't seen that since the opening of Peter's Brew. And she's like, this house doesn't even have an address. It's just called Sterling Hall.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
They kept changing it and it was crazy looking every single time. Uh, but Shamia, I think if she went to any kind of, you know, uh, train media training or whatever before this season, just kind of get her ducks in a row. I think the media trainer just told her when in doubt twerk, just start shaking your ass.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
She clap your ass cheeks whenever you're in doubt, because every other scene to me is like clap, clap.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So she's going to have a party. We meet her nephew. And she's like, oh, one thing you better know about me is family is the most important thing. It goes God and then family and then $9 million house.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
I mean, I haven't really heard of much of that, but I guess that doesn't really mean anything. I mean, I found out who Chaparone was like two months ago because she was yelling at a reporter. I'm a huge fan. I mean, I didn't know. It takes me a while to figure things out. It's time for a commercial.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So she has an elevator in her house and she's racing her daughter and her daughter's like, I'm going to beat you.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And she's like, no, you're not. And so she takes the elevator and the kid runs up the stairs and you can tell she's a good mom because she's like, how do you always beat me? Because if I was the mom, I would have come off that elevator, seen that kid and just pushed her down the stairs.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
well he bought her a drink so he bought her a drink but then he never talked to her again and she was like what the hell you can't just buy me a drink and not talk to me again i just figured something was wrong with them but then i was invited to a cookout and then so i went to the cookout and then the producer goes shamia could you make it short and she's like i'm almost done just give me one more second so then he sits by me we have fun and she goes on for i swear to you 15 minutes
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
In their time, it must have been like three hours long. And finally, she gets to the meat of the story, which is she goes to his house. She's like, I don't want to go in because you're going to think that, you know, you're going to get some. And he's like, no, it's okay. We can just relax. So they're relaxing. And then he hears her stomach gurgle. And he's like, don't worry about it.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
and she's like so i went into the bathroom and i exploded all over that bathroom and i mean things were just coming out everywhere and you know i go in there and i'm kind of embarrassed and that man still called me for another date that's what i do and next time i went over there were baby wipes there so ladies in his house on the first date that was the lesson to be learned
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So then we see why she's the glue and we see all the pictures of the new people. And so she starts stringing it all together. So she's known Portia for a decade and she's good friends with Portia because Portia told her she needs to shave her vagina, which.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And she's like, I love those girls because they let their hair down and their titties out. So we did that. We do that. And Drew, they did a film together 10 years ago on TLC and it was a biopic, a biopic. I hope to say biopic.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Crazy, Sexy, The TLC Story. It's a 2013 American biographical television film about TLC.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
It's like Drew and Ralph. Wait, Kate, what are their names again? I just said it. John and Kate. John. I made John live in the basement with seven of the children. John went to Tampa again. That's how she knows Drew. And Drew is really good friends with the Angela Oakley. And she doesn't really know Angela, but she knows Charles because Charles is the Charles Oakley, maker of the sunglasses.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
I presume, because I don't understand sports very much.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Well, he's the resident. Because no matter how many times you recast a Housewives show, they're always going to have the grumpy asshole husband. And that too. He's just the old grump who's like, fix your hair.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And this is when I got the Karen, when she's acting like, well, I'm Angela Oakley. Oh God, my wig glue. Oh my God. What am I going to do about my wig glue? And then she had to, she's like, the wind is blowing off my wig. She had to go to the bathroom and you just hear her in there. Oh my God, the wig glue. What am I going to do about the wig glue? I was like, oh, thank God.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
One Karen goes, one prison door slams and another door opens.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Could they make the elevator a cast in the show? Because Portia's coming out of the elevator. I have to make a gift of that. I need that in my life. I need to be able to send that as a response in texts. But we'll get to that. Right now, Shamia's the glue. But she's complaining to her family. She's like, you know, be the glue and all.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
I know Ms Oakley could have used you at your party, but she's talking about how she has to keep all that. She's like, you know, hanging out with girls. They probably don't all get along. It's like, this is episode one. Okay. You can't already be having this discussion with your family. And they're like, shut up. You finally got a peach. Stop your bitching.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So then we go to drew who's pretending to play with her children. Like that's a normal thing that she does. And it's in their front yard. That's on the street throwing balls, you know?
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
She's like, kids, you want to listen to your iPod?
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Listen, you kids better be good or I'm not reading you the vowel pack before you go to bed tonight.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
But didn't she have problems with paying a chef? Wasn't that one of her things that she wasn't paying that chef?
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
She likes volunteers. That girl is like the Red Cross of her neighborhood. She just takes as many volunteers as she can get. Yeah. So here's she tells us that she's been in five movies in a year. And I was like, who's done five movies in a year? And so I looked it up and there to be movies, you know? Yeah.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Well, there you go. She's done five of them in a year. Vicious Murder, The Pass, Boxed In, The Preacher's Son, Women of the Jury, Adopted. And then before that, she had like a six-year break where she did...
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Why can't I know anything that's Oscar-nominated? What planet do I live on? It's Nora. I'm still mad I don't know what a Nora is. And then I found out it's about a hooker who gets with a Russian billionaire, and I'm like, that's my movie. That's my type of movie. It's like my dream.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah. Remember when the plot line, everybody was dissing each other for being with like trying to get with African billionaires or whatever. And now look at where we are all these years later.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
I'm getting yourself updated. Yes, let's get into Atlanta. Wow, it's been a long time since we've had Atlanta back on the screens, eh?
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
You should have friended Laura Dern. What the hell's wrong with that? I still get Tom Sandoval and like, you know, stupid people like that. You got Laura Dern? Damn, your algorithm is sweet.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
No, you have to be rejected by Laura Dern. That's how you build calluses, you know? And then you don't care if you're rejected by people.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah, you gotta add Laura Dern. Come on, reach for the stars.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So she's talking about the girls. Oh, no, no, we go to Drew. So Drew's like, there's so much change and it's just so disheartening, this divorce. It's been a year now. I would have hoped that Ralph and I could have mediated on our own, but we just couldn't agree on anything. And then we see a flashback to last year's reunion where Andy's like, oh, were you faithful to Drew Ralph?
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And he's like, it would have came out already. He's like, that is not the question. Now, I wish they would have shown where Drew was like, I've written a solo, a ballad for Ralph. Can I sing it right in front of Ralph? Have Ralph sit here on the reunion stage.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
I love that. That was one of my favorite all-time Housewives moments.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
That's Drew every season. That's Drew. That's why she's so good at this. And a lot of people are disappointed that like out of everybody that made it back, we're bringing back Drew. This is why it's the divorce. Yeah.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah. So Kenya comes, speaking of, Kenya comes over with Brooklyn and the kids go play dolls and stuff. And she's like, so a lot has changed. This was actually Ralph's office. And then we see… Ralph's barber chair. Is it actually a barber shop now? Cause there's a bunch of people in there.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And then their daughter's like, where's daddy? She goes, go downstairs to the basement.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So she's like, turn on the lights. See if daddy's down there. I like that Ralph is in the basement in the dark.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So we hear his voices and she's like, daddy, daddy's like, baby girl, how are you doing my love?
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Just throwing a turkey leg down there.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And I love that she leaves the house and what he gets to walk around the house every other weekend. That's so fucking funny to me.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And she goes, well, I was hoping he would take that opportunity to move out and get a life. But fortunately he didn't, you know, I thought he would do what he loves to do, which is be out in the streets. Uh, but no, he's in the basement, the dog dog basement. So she tells Kenya that they, they don't communicate. They have to communicate through like a divorce app thing.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
I thought it was good. I thought it was a good start. It is weird having a reboot. I mean, it's basically a reboot. So it's weird having a full reboot and getting into it, you know, and then they changed all the stylistic stuff of it. They're like, it's new.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And he tries to get shitty on the app, but she's like, well, the judge can read it. So I hope he has fun with that.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
I did audition for a Nora and it's really funny because my response, they said, uh, no.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Um, so yeah, doing a lot. He's like, let me tell you this much. This ain't Texas. And this ain't Hold'em. You may have heard it. So she goes, oh, and you know Dennis from Detroit. He's helping me with my music. And she's like, Dennis who? She goes, Dennis, Dennis. You know, Dennis, Hot Dog Dennis. That's who I'm partnering with on music. Yeah. We have a new label called Relish. It's huge. Huge.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
like, um, Dennis, uh, Portia's Dennis? And she's like, yes. So then we see flashbacks of the hot dog king being like, I'm a hot dog. Portia being like, I love hot dogs.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
I wonder if Dr. Derwiener Schnitzel's busy.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Now we're doing. 3D imaging, like portrait mode on the iPhone. They're doing weird stuff where it's like, look, Porsche is standing, but is she close to you? Is she far away? Is she about to jog? No, she's not. I don't believe that for two seconds, first of all. And then they do this new green screen thing, or it's like a 3d green screen where the whole floor is green, everything's green.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
I was humming a song about a husband in the basement when I was in line for my 10-cent Costco hot dog, and the guy behind the counter said, I think I can work with this.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Let's go out to the movies and have ourselves a snack. Nicole Kidman.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So then we see Dennis, she was on the phone with Dennis, and Drew's like, hey, bro, what's going on? And he's like, well, we got to put your show together. And she's like, yeah. And he's like, well, we got to do a mini listening session. So I'm thinking a lot of heads.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
We've got some people coming. We've got Oscar. We've got Mayer. She's like, sounds great.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And then they still put a picture behind it. So it looks like tiny dolls sitting in a dollhouse.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And then we see Portia's music video for 2014, Flatline.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
You know, Portia may not be the best singer, but she's a psychic singer. So you got to hand her that. So Drew's like, well, maybe because he wasn't into music then. And Kenya's like, but you just said it was his greatest passion. He's like, well, I don't know how long it's been his passion, you know, but he told me he did talk to Portia to get her blessing. And she goes, did he get it?
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
She's like, he told me he did. So I was like, cool. I mean, I'm sure she's, you know, I'm sure she's just not going to speak up. I mean, Portia's going to be somebody who's going to speak her mind if she's mad and she hasn't said anything to me yet. So I'm sure everything's going to be fine.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah, so she's got a lot of... When she's mad, like when your mom gets mad, she's so mad that all the kids, she can't even get it together.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Oh, so this is a birthday party for her 17 year old and she gives her 17 purses and the kid wanted a pink Birkin, but the mom's like, whatever, you're not getting a pink Birkin for me, but I will give you 17 purses because it's your 17th birthday. Couldn't you just buy a Birkin for that? I mean, those were nice purses. Those weren't cheap purses.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
She's like, look inside your purse, honey. There's your real present. It's a waffle.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
so we get her resume she's from baltimore she's been here since 2003 and she started a restaurant in 2016 called nana's chickens and waffles or chicken and waffles not chickens they're actual chickens eating waffles nana's chicken and waffles and um she she's like i named the restaurant after my grandmother which is you know, tricky because everyone's going to trust a place called Dana's.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
No one's going to trust a place called like grandma, granddaughters, chicken and waffles. I don't want to eat that. I want to eat the experienced person's chicken and waffles. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Step-sister's Nana, you know, chicken and waffles. So she's like, yeah, it's like my second child. And it's just this little restaurant, but it turned into a huge deal.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So now I have 24 carat gold maple syrup. And that was featured in Forbes. And a line of waffle mix. Waffle mix. A cookbook. And she's very excited about a mimosa mix. What the... Mimosa is two things. It's champagne and orange juice. What are you putting Tang into a champagne?
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah, and then she's spending time with her kids. They're real cute. Her kids are really cute. And then we see the montage of her 17 presents gift-giving thing. And then she's like, yeah, well, this is nothing new for my kids. They're used to this kind of thing. So I'm going to have to do it for every kid when they turn 17. So purse economy, here I come!
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Oh, my God. This elevator was so hilarious. So she's trying to get out of the elevator and it starts closing and then it closes on her butt. Yeah. But it won't reopen. And she's just like eating her butt.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Well, I think they're still trying to figure it out, you know, because it's like new technology for them. They're like housewives, new things for housewives. How do we do it? And so they all look kind of like little dolls in a dollhouse. But we found out super interesting.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah. And then Randy, of course, is like, oh, my God, Portia, it is so good to have you back in my life again. You don't want to hear that from a divorce lawyer. You know what I mean? He's like, thank God I can finally pay off my kid's college. God, your divorces are lengthy.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And just the way that Porsche is putting it all out. Like, I just had no idea what was happening in the headlines. They're putting headlines now in these weird little Chiron things at the bottom. And they just like flick up for two seconds. But they're all like fraud, fraud, fraud, fraud, fraud, fraud. Nothing but fraud. Nothing but lies. Nothing but fraud. All the headlines that come up.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So Randy's excited. But one of the big points of contention is that she claims this is her, you know, since it's the marital home and they have 50-50 split over the home, she should be able to shoot in it. And he's trying to not allow her to shoot in the home. And that's cutting off her money.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Well, they're trying to give Drew Sedora some AI upgrades and they're just not working. Like, what was that wig that she wore to the party? And you could see her other hair kind of coming out the bottom. I mean, Drew Sidora is still a goddamn mess, which I love, you know?
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Any judge is going to be like, yep, she knew. Give this woman whatever she wants. She didn't get to go through the clear line for Christ's sake.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah. So, and also the green card thing that he was, he's been trying to get citizenship and stuff, but couldn't he get it from being married to her? I guess I need to update myself on all of this drama because I don't remember at all. So then we see the headlines court documents show Simon is fighting for us citizenship, but his crime middle past keeps getting him denied.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Well, that answered my question. Simon's company ordered to pay nearly $900,000 in unpaid private jet bill.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And Portia's like, we had an argument on Valentine's Day, but I'm old school. How are you old school? You're on your third marriage. You married a hot dog maven the last time. And this one is clearly there was something wrong with this guy. So you're not. Portia's like, you know me, traditionalist.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And we're with Shamia, Britt, and Kelly. And so now we meet Britt.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah, now we get some girl time with some girls. Girls, we're girls. So we get some time with the girls and Britt introduces herself and she's like, my husband's all about making sure I'm that girl. I had one ring that was seven and a half carats and now I have a 10 carat solitaire. Hold on, let me clean it.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
It's not State Farm. It's State Farmhouse Modern in the hills, darling.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
That's how I knew we were going to be friends. Both of our titties were popping out. So here we are still hanging up.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
uh so they order some drinks and kelly's like oh my god can i just tell you something brit i'm just so proud of you you know i mean you're really kicking motherhood's ass right now i mean wow what a journey wow everything and oh no she's talking to shamia and so she's like oh yeah yeah things are going great nine million dollar house nine million dollars
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Like, whoa, whoa, whoa. She goes, yeah, because that man was taken a little bit. She's like, no, no, no. Let's be clear. Simon and his ex, they were very public with their separation. And then we see the headline. Phelan announces she and husband Simon are splitting up after two years of marriage. And then another headline. Portia Williams engaged to Simon. Love wins.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
The cast member shared the news that she's in a relationship five minutes later.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah. Yeah. And then remember there was that whole thing where Simon's like, no, cause Phelan was cheating with the pool boy. And then she like ran off with the pool boy or something. So that was Portia's thing. Like she was cheating with the pool boy. So he wasn't taken anyway.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah, and Kelly, she's just like, whatever. We've seen it on the blogs. You know, they're messy. And Shamia's like, wow, you know, you just can't be blaming people, you know? I just want you to get to know Portia for yourself. And Shamia says, I know Portia reached out to both of them, you know, Simon and his ex-wife and was like, hey, guys, I'm here for you.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And they're like, yeah, but she's reaching out to a friend's husband. Who does that? Yeah.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
I know. It's so sad. But also, haha. Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Well, the new girls definitely came to play. I mean, they were like, okay, let's attack. Let's attack the only remaining standing person from the original cast. Portia.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
yeah they're definitely they definitely came ready for some mess so that ended up being fun it was hard to kind of get into it just because there were so many new people but i think that's natural with like a new housewives show i did it was funny when there was kenya and i actually cheered when kenya came on because i thought they were going to cut her out of the season so yeah i was actually believe it or not super glad to see kenya being so messy and i think the friend spot is actually kind of perfect for her even though she never would have agreed to be a friend but now that they've cut her into a friend
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
It's kind of perfect. I will say they look kind of like aunties to the rest of them. They're like, oh, these crazy girls, like sitting in a corner, like these crazy girls. Remember when we used to be like that? And also I missed candy. And listen, candy I know didn't give the most in the past few years. And I'm sure I was one of the loudest, like something needs to change.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
But you know, Todd's restaurants, I don't know which one, I think it's old lady gang. One of the restaurants hasn't been paying their rent and it's a whole mess over there. So I just want an update on how Candy feels about Todd blowing through all of her cash. So I kind of needed that update.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And just to think how much footage they must have cut of Shamia, because really all they ever show Shamia is kind of kissing Portia's ass or standing up for Portia. But then we find out this episode that Shamia never shuts the fuck up. And so they probably have like real Shamia footage on the ground that we've just never seen.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
yeah well it's go time and she she went like she showed up and she and she went for it okay so let's start from the very start here we are back again atlanta atlanta atlanta shots of atlanta and then you know shots of the season porsche you're an awful slimy ass and uh basically they do porsche's big thing is i jog now
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And so Portia's got really long hair and she's kind of bouncing up and like, you know, shots of her sneakers. She's getting ready to run guys. And then it's slow-mo's and then it's portrait mode and then it's 3D and then it's like every shot that they could find in their final cut they used.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Don't you remember when Cinderella went to that ball and saw someone else's husband and was like, mine. And then she got the husband and then she broke the shoe over somebody's head. Very good. I think Kenya was dressed as a native American at one part.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So, you know, things you guys might remember from your fairy tales. Bank fraud, credit card fraud, identity fraud, fake marriages, multiple felonies. Didn't want to be married to a stranger. And then this is my favorite headline. Simon seemingly calls Real Housewives of Atlanta star Portia Williams a pig with lipstick. Wow, wow.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
First way to misuse the saying, but also that's a funny fucking headline.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Yeah, go back and read the headlines. There were some issues.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Old man with a lot of money, but she thought it was his, presumably, you know, I guess. So then we see her mom, Diane, and she's like, from the looks of it, you were the perfect couple. The thing was just not to go to bed angry, you know? And you also co-parented wonderfully.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Well, it's hard not to go to bed angrily when the fucking furniture rental place is trying to take the bed out from under you, okay?
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
He's hot dog Dubin. He's the Harry Dubin of the show. Just going from housewife to housewife for screen time. So Diane's like, oh my gosh, Portia, it's when you look at one part of it, then you start to look at another part of it, and then you wonder how much of it was real. Yeah.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
I love that they're just so shocked, especially Diane, just shocked that any of this could have happened to poor Portia. Girl, I watched that reality show. I watched the Portia show. I can't believe Diane's acting shocked. Yeah.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
You know, Portia and she's right. I mean, Portia's doing fine. She's still doing fine. I mean, she came back as the star of this show, so. Yeah. Well, she's still a star. Yeah, her karma got her a storyline for another season. So what does she care? So now we go to Shamia and she's with her daughter at their place. Well, first it looks like it's going to center around Portia, right?
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Because the opening is all Portia and then we see Portia jogging. And anyone who's watched this show from the beginning is like, oh my God, guys, Portia jogs now. The world is at peace. We're getting a new storyline. But then we get the credits or whatever. And then it turns out that the season is built kind of around Shamia, which you've mentioned.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So we go to her place and it's this huge mansion. And she's like, well, people only know me as Portia's ride or die. And then we see flashbacks of Shamia sticking up for Portia and then taking pictures of Portia and Phaedra and then doing the splits at a bolo party.
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#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
You were drinking the cheapest tequila at a bar when you met that man. Don't act like you've never had the cheapest tequila at a bar. She's like, well, I'll go. I'll play with the cheapest tequila eventually. Then I'll spit it out. So then we see Shamia. She's brought the whole family. And that's another thing. Everybody new had the whole family on.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Great, great cat. I think this cat is probably named Shelter because that's where she got it. Lake's family is very on the nose. So then she's packing and then we go to Maddie's and they're packing for Vegas. And he's like, we got to pack for three nights, right? You pack everything. And he's like, you're stressing me out, Joe. Jeez, God.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
a suitcase and a suitcase. Then we go to Emmy's and she's packing. And Will's like, what do people even wear in Vegas? That's crazy. And she's like, I don't even want to go. I mean, it's going to be the thing though. Like I love Maddie and she's DJing. So I'm so excited to support her. But if anyone says one thing about my happy life, I swear to God, I swear to fucking God, Will.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
She's just like beating her face with her makeup.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
I am leaving. Do not follow me. Well, some of you can follow me. If you don't follow me, I'm going to be pissed. Do not follow me.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Okay, we're going to be in Ludlow Garage in Cincinnati, Ohio, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, D.C., and Philadelphia. So go get your tickets now at watchwhatcrappens.com. Also, if you want Traders Recaps, we got them over on our Patreon. So go over there, okay?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Okay, so she's just yelling. She has her eyeliner running down her face. Okay, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. And so Emmy's like, but this trip is about Maddie and I wanna be there for her because she's always been there for me. Always been there for me.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
except for last year when you weren't there for her because you were coming after her boyfriend for being a low-life cheat and you were correct and she's she's correct too so what are you gonna do i just can't imagine fighting this hard over will when there's a will there's a way so to fight over him um so emmy's will's like well should i bring a suit and everything no i'm so happy you could go otherwise i might not be able to survive this trip
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
One thing that I've heard about Las Vegas is they've got great bathrooms. So can't wait to try them.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Have you set up on the Bellagio bathroom?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
We're talking about fucking in bathrooms, and of course you bring your own personal Idaho into it, which is pooping.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
So we go back to Emmy's apartment and he puts on one of her sun hats. He's like, aren't I wacky? I'm wearing a sun hat.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Why does she get so scared of the sun hat?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Um, so she, I didn't understand why she got so mad about the sun.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
And then we get to see my favorite flashback, which is, um, sorry, but no call, no show, write-up. As long as Will doesn't wear sun hats. As long as Will doesn't wear sun hats. So then we go to baggage claim and she's like, where's my 60 pound bag? Where is it? And they're like, ha ha, it's probably 170.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
So then we goof around the airport and they kind of avoid talking about the Will cheating rumors to Emmy, you know, and it's really hard. They're like, oh my God, look, they have a Cinnabon cheated on Emmy here. I love that place, it smells so good.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah, Lake kind of goes between personalities, and I'm not really sure which one is the real one yet. But I mean, I kind of enjoy all of them. But I'm really into Lake.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
So Austin's like, I rekindled my relationship with my ex a couple of days ago. We dated for six months. We broke up on New Year's Eve 2023, but I never stopped thinking about her. Every time I pick up a log, I think, God, I miss you. And our recent rekindling, no pun intended, because I'm a log person. There's been some beautiful, unspoken mutual energy.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
And then we get the screen going like, uh-oh, it's a hippie. He's like, it's trans-dimensional, just otherworldly kind of love. you dumped her on New Year's, fuck off.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
She was like, oh my God, holy shit, Maddie Reese is on the side of the Duke building. Everybody look, it's Maddie Reese. And then we see Maddie's picture up there and she's like, it's me, Maddie Reese, on top of the building.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
and it's really cool but you know it's one of those digital things they can kind of change in and out which i'm not dissing her for that's how they do things now but it's cool to see her but i was cracking up because this weekend i saw emmy posting pictures of her sick body in a bikini in front of that same building and it was like a verizon ad or something i was like did you seriously just wait for maddie's picture to go away and now you're posting in front of a verizon ad come on bro
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
I was going to say, I don't think they do that off-strip. Sorry. Better luck booking next time. Maybe we can just pay them, like people who get engaged, you know? We can just be like, put our faces up there.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
It's like the Italian brother of Zeus. It's like the Italian little brother of Zeus who never gets any attention.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
My girlfriend is on the side of a fucking building. I don't even know whether to call my mom or my, like, I don't know where to call her mom or my mom first or, like, that who taught me how to do that chicken parm. Nana. I'm going to call Nana. I'm calling Nana first. So then Maddie's like, oh, my God. I'm like, holy shit.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
The sphere has started bouncing itself against the Zouk building. Oh, my God. The sphere has gone crazy.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
So then, um, and the other car, Molly's like, Vegas has officially started. Ding, dong, ding, dong. I'm a wedding planner. And like, it's like, yeah, I'm ready to start some shit. Let's catch will cheating. Ah,
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah, and everyone's like, oh, how convenient. Will's going to have a whole weekend to bang his other girlfriend, you know? And Joe's like, I mean, what does that mean? Did someone tip him off to the rumor? Do you not want to come now? So Emmy's like, oh, my God, I'm alone with the Wolves. If Will can't make it, I'm going back to Charleston. I don't know how I'm supposed to do this without Will.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
It's like insane right now. What am I supposed to do without Will? I got to do this. High five.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
And she's like, well, you can go to Dre's for fun. And he's like, Dre's, if I want to shake my ass. She's like, absolutely. If you want to shake your ass, Dre's is the place.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
I was like, wow, you've really got game. I love when guys think that they have game because the person who's supposed to be nice to your reception is nice to you. I know.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
And let me tell you why they have tickets for places that they give you for free. Cause those things suck. Okay. So when they're like, oh, you know what? You should go see rich little, he does 90 voices. You don't want to see that. You know what I mean? No offense, rich little rich littles at home. Like, wait a minute. I say, I say, Matt Rondle.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Oh, that's from Sesame Street. I just remember Rich Little because I remember my parents coming back from Vegas and being like, Ronnie, there's a guy named Rich Little. He does 80 voices. It's incredible. I've never seen anything like it. I mean, you think your community theater is good? Wait till you see Rich Little. I was like, oh, shut up.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
The future of Bravo. That's a big statement.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
It's not good. Yeah, it's like topless Elaine Boosler doing like, hey, how's my husband saying he doesn't drink the milk? Now, hold on a second. Don't bring Elaine Boosler's milk joke.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
All right. Walfridge, little it up. So then Brad is basically just trying to make Lake jealous. He's like, yeah, isn't she beautiful? I just flirted with her. And Lake's like, I'm sad. So then Molly's like, yeah, I knew you were flirting it up with your eyes. And he goes, yeah, she can have my children. Ah. How old is Brad? Also, I'd like to make the case that he's too old for Lake.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
I would like him to leave Lake alone, please.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
And you know, it's, we need, I think of things as like an apocalypse movie, you know, cause I've watched so many apocalypse TV shows where you always have to be prepared for the world to end. And God knows looking around the past few years, it could happen at any moment. These are the people leading you in the apocalypse. Think about that. Okay.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
So then back to present, we're at the Luxor, which is hilarious.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
I guess. I didn't think they were at the Luxor. I thought they'd be at the Zook. Is the Zook part of the Luxor?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
I don't know, but was Circus Circus all booked up?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah, the Luxor smells like diapers. That's what it smells like. Okay, so they're like, oh my god, our rooms are amazing! Which literally nobody ever says at the Luxor, so it was nice to hear it. There is a first time for everything. And then Joe's like, this looks bigger than any apartment I have in Charleston.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah, and then TJ's like, oh my God, the pool looks like a penis. And it does. It looks like a big kind of twisty, turny penis. And so they're gossiping about Will conveniently missing his flight. And Michael's just like, oh my God, Emmy was like in the car going crazy. And then we flash back to Emmy just like pulling that little piece of her hair. Like, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Everything's going to be okay. Everything's going to be fine. Everything's going to be fine.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Ooh, I love a gaytective. You go. Yeah. He's like, well, he's connected to that girl. That girl's connected to this guy. They're all in law school. So he figures it out immediately. And then, so the producer's like, so Austin, was it the girl you used to date that told you Will is cheating? And he's like, uh, that's a good question. I'm not really sure how to talk about this.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Wouldn't you need some canned corn or, you know, when people start like just clubbing the old people and stealing their stuff, it's Maddie.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
It's like a trans-dimensional thing.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
So then Michael is talking about how he sent Preston, his new love, a picture of the bathtub. And Preston's like, oh my God, girl, I'm on my way over there. And he's like, yeah, things are going amazing with Preston. He's my boyfriend. He just doesn't know it yet.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
what base is almost shitting myself because someone gave me an unasked for coffee I think that's like a home run right yeah so yeah gay bases are different first base is kissing second base is making out third base is anal the fourth base is learning the other person's name oh yeah precisely commercials here comes one right now
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah. So then Maddie and Joe were talking about them and just like owning the whole thing. Like, I don't have any proof that you're cheating on her, but like, I don't want to be like, let's have a fun weekend. Let's be best friends. We're like, I know he's cheating. You know what I mean?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
I'm completely mad. Yes. I'm completely Dayquil stoned, so good luck. No, I'm down for it. Because I didn't measure it in the tiny cup. I just swig it. So I drank like three swigs. And then I looked at the cup and I was like, what's that thing for? And I think it's to measure it. So I think I'm tripping. I can see why they stop you from buying that stuff. It trips you out.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
And it's like, oh my God, you, so you're saying you want to hash it out so you like, you can like not be uncomfortable anymore. He's like, yeah, I just want to know the truth. So yeah, I want to do it. She's like, okay, I don't, I don't really know what you're talking about right now. Go take more pictures of me on the Zook.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah, so they're all excited that Mia's there, and TJ's like, Austin, super excited to see you. She's like, are you being sarcastic?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Because at the lake, he said, Mia, fuck that bitch. Which I don't think he said. And Brad just goes, oh, I mean along those lines, kind of. And then we see the flashback, Austin saying, I think she's gross. Which isn't great, but it's not calling her, it's not saying fuck that bitch, come on now.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah, and Brad's like, hey, Grace Lilly, have you performed here? Have you performed live before? She's like, I mean, I've been alive. Which is more than I can say for Bob Marley, and he's still performing, so don't tell me what I can and can't do. And they're like, so are you nervous before you give a live performance? And she's like, champagne helps me all the time, obviously.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Champagne and hula hooping.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
It's like a tightrope. Yeah. Wieners can be confusing, but they always come through. So then he's like, yeah, next week I'm launching Sir Wieners. And before we left Vegas, I got done everything I potentially needed to get done. I got Wieners. And that's pretty much it.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Hopefully it'll come to me. Hopefully it'll come to me. Meat to bun ratio, meat to bun ratio.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
What do you mean what's to say? Are they good? I don't really like fake meat. I'm not a big fake meat person, so I'll just eat the bone. I don't like fake meats.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Well, it's improved in that they can make something just as creepy and processed as the regular food. And I just, I'm like, what's the point? I don't want to eat that. It still looks like a rubber. I mean, I have had one. I think I had one last 4th of July at my cousin's house. And I just, it wasn't gross or anything, but I don't know. I'm not that kind of person who's like, God, you know what?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
You know what? I got to replace a wiener. I'm always in it for the bread. So it's easy for me to be vegetarian. I'm really just in it for the bread and the potato.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah, you basically roast the carrot and you use like Worcestershire and stuff like that. No, I mean, it tastes like a carrot and a hot dog.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
But you put all the toppings in a bun and they're still just as good, I think. So any whoozle, we go to Emmy and she's like, I knew Mia was going to come because that bitch's location was turned off for the first time in three years. I love that you're more on her location than your wills.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
All right. So let's get into it. We see a sign of the apocalypse, the Ravenel Bridge. Yep. Um, and Charleston and Maddie's driving around, you know, you know, talking on her phone, like the world has ended and she doesn't give a fuck if she runs people over, she's just holding her phone, which is on speakerphone. But I like this, I like this, um, this cast because no one has carplay yet.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Like, oh, great, Mia's here. And Lake's like, you want to talk about it? And so Mia's like, oh my God, you partied at a lake house? Of course Lake has a lake house. So by the way, Austin, I heard you called me a fucking bitch at the lake house. And he's like, uh, do I say that exactly?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah, and then TJ just laughs. He's like, same thing though, right? No, it is not the same thing. So Molly's like, TJ's messy, but generally Mia doesn't need any help getting riled up. Let's watch her go. So Mia's like, calling me a bitch is kind of crazy. Like, if I didn't even know Lake and I called her a bitch, that would be crazy. And Lake's like, geez, what'd I do?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
She's like, I like her because she's the only person I have on my side right now. And surely she's not talking about my boyfriend cheating on me. Yeah, let's see.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Oh, I could keep talking if you'd like. Ew, Austin. gross how did you go from being a nothing burger on this show to being gross in two seconds chill bro and she's like what do you mean and he's like i just feel like you cut me off right now and like goes oh my god he's like something we just go ahead i was gonna say something we could only dream of for his mustache Yeah.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
And he's like, I remember, like, you and I had been out on King Street. You seemed fun. But then I ran into you at Last Saint, and I feel like I got weird vibes. She goes, what does that mean? And so in his confessional, he's saying that he went up to this group of girls and...
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
picked Mia out to get her number, and Mia says she wrote her number on the bill, but then he's like, and then, I didn't, wait, what is this whole thing? So he was at work, he was at a group of really pretty girls, Mia put her number down on the thing, and then he didn't call Mia?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
You know, it's like back to simpler times.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah, so she's gross because she liked him and he wasn't interested, basically.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
So he's like, I don't ever, I don't think I would ever refer to a woman using those words, but if I did, I apologize. And she's like, okay, thanks, I guess. So they decide to go to bed early, but Brad, Mia, Grace, Emmy, Lake, Austin, Molly, a bunch of them go out to bed early. Why am I reading all that? So Lake is flirting with some guy named Jake, who is the biggest cheese ball.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
I can't believe this is the one she picked, but she's like, well, I want to make him jealous. I want to make Brad jealous. And this one's ready and able. So let's do it.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
So Lake brings Jake back to her room and we hear like kissing through the door. We are led to believe that they did the deed.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah, because the stick is dirty, probably. So then the next morning, Matty and Joe wake up, and he's like, oh, my God. This is my Super Bowl. I'm so excited. Like, I don't want anything to go wrong today, because it's going to be the perfect day. The Zook has never seen anything like Matty Reese.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
So then we go to Lake Michael's and Molly's and she's talking about how she brought Jake back, but they didn't do any funny business. At least it wasn't caught on camera. So then with Mia, TJ, and Brad, she's asking for the tea. And TJ's like, did you wake up thinking about Austin? That was so mean. She's like, no, why would I think of him?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
He's like, well, Austin's girlfriend's brother just graduated from Will Goes to School, and Will's been fooling around up there, and that's how everybody found out. It was through Austin. Tell on him. It's going to be fun.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
And Michaels is like, oh my God. Hey, Pookie, you made it. Make any friends on the plane bathroom? So then now everybody is getting a buffet. So not a whole lot's happening in this episode, not gonna lie. But then they're waiting for Grace Lilly because the set's coming up and Grace Lilly is still in bed snoring. Dun, dun, dun.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
And really all they have is Will, right? All they have is this Will storyline, but no one wants to bring it up because that's all they have. And they just did this last week. So Molly's like, yeah, it's awkward because we know these rumors. And he just cheated on his girlfriend. And now he's over here enjoying sausage links and honeydew, which is delicious honeydew, by the way.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Everyone's like, that's some white people shit. Like, that's crazy.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah, and then meanwhile, Maddie is so excited because she gets to meet her main DJ, Esto. And she's like, I can't wait to get on the stage and be myself. And Grace should be here for sound check. I mean, that's more for her than for me. Like I'm just a hype person to hype the crowd up. And like, you know what? As far as live performance, that's all her.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
So like if something goes wrong today, it could jeopardize my relationship. But then they show her rehearsing with the guy and it's all tracked anyway. So who cares?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
So then they're freaking out that Grace Lilly's not here. We keep getting shots of Grace Lilly in bed snoring.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah. So then Mia, TJ, and Brad are talking and they're making their beds and stuff. And TJ's like, I was actually shocked that Emmy's even still talking to us. I mean, that's nice, but it feels unresolved. It's infuriating to hear that Emmy's talking shit about me to Will. I mean, how is this my fault when Will is sticking his wiener in random girls?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
And then Brad asks Lake to put some sunscreen on him. And so she rubs it all over his chest. He's like, yeah, how does it feel? She's like, good, you're all screened up now. And then Estos is like, you're mixing at 1.30, right? I hope Grace Lilly shows up or your DJ career is over.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
yeah so then um she's nervous grace lily's around and austin was like i just saw grace lily she's putting on makeup and she's in no rush and then we see grace doing her makeup and austin's like uh miss you at breakfast she's like i need to sleep in no what can i tell you i'm an artist go down there i'll see you down there i'm almost done look at me look at me being almost done and then i'm just gonna watch my slowly yeah
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
will a lot of people in bathrooms yeah it's very gay lifestyle yeah i know i mean come on bro i mean it kind of is so he's been in bathrooms at parties and stuff and um also we learned that austin's kind of a dick uh in this episode which i was sad because you know you can usually put any kind of personality on a silent person and when they're kind of hot and lift logs i tend to give them the benefit of the doubt and just give them a good personality
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
He's like, the time slot is on the fucking building of the Zook. So she should be able to figure it out. And will she make it? Will she make it ever? Main DJ Estos is like, it's time. Are you ready?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
That was one of my tricks I learned as a DJ.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yes, we canna, it's Savannah.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Nope. His sucks. And then when we hear why he sucks, it's even worse. So we'll get to that later, but you know, just stay, just stay tight in your chairs. You're going to learn that this guy sucks. We should have known from the mustache. And if you're sitting there with some man who's like, Hey, wait a minute. How dare you? I got a mustache. We're looking at you this way too. Okay.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
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Watch What Crappens
#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
If you don't want to be looked at like a douche bag, shave that shit. Cause you could tell that's the sign of douche.
Watch What Crappens
#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah. So then we see a flashback montage of people talking about Will. And we see my favorite character, Siobhan. She's just like, I just heard that Will was saying that she's like boring. She's like anorexic. He hates her body. She smells. She's like a rolled up booger in the shape of a face, but you can't really figure out what the face is. I hate her. I want Siobhan. Can we just follow Siobhan?
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah, what the hell? That's age-shaming. I think you guys need to bring the rundown train, too. I mean, that was the character in Starlight Express. Remember the rundown train? It was like, I'm a train that don't run very well anymore. I don't. That's that lady, Cloris Leachman. They need to bring her on. I want to know.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Hey, guys, time to do the sign. Fucking idiot's going to spell shit backwards. I'm going to watch it. Back in my day, we knew how to do a sign with some class. They sent us this stuff out there with numbers that don't even look straight.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
I mean, I get it. It's easy. It's quick. Just be done with it. You don't have to clean the sheets. But it's disgusting, guys. Stop that. Other people are going in there. The bathroom is to go pee-pee and to do coke. It's not for your spermatozoa, sir. So then we come back to the present, and Maddie's still talking to TJ, and he's like, well, the first instinct is obviously, like, tell everybody.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
But, like, you know, this is all hearsay, so I don't really know what I do. I already told my vacuum. So whatever my vacuum does with it is up to her.
Watch What Crappens
#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
And we wrote back, before we have a conversation, you need to talk to Will one-on-one. By the way, I'm so happy. Thanks for asking.
Watch What Crappens
#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Oh, blame the gay guy. Listen, Bradley was just as culpable. Blame him too, you know? Yeah. So then back to the present. We're in Maddie's car and TJ's like, I'm upset that they're mad, but I didn't do anything wrong this time. I don't think. Did I? God, maybe I did. I don't know. Should I just apologize? And she's like, yeah.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
kinda just like kind of gives me kinda like the heebie jeebies kinda i want a man who just tells me what i want to hear like why is that such a terrible criticism i'm sick of men telling me not what i want to hear okay like here's the truth ronnie it's just not gonna work no lie to me i want i want to lie i want you're the hottest you're the cutest you're the bestest that's all i want to hear from a man okay lie to me what do i care i don't need honesty in dating
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Not a damn thing. That's why I always pretend I'm married to my waiter, like whoever my waiter is for the day. They're like, can I help you? Yes, have a seat. My mom was mean to me when I was young. Oh, you were right. That's all I need to hear. Bring me a side of butter.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
There's been a rise in waiters asking very specific questions lately. No more, how are you? It's like, how is your French toast? Although I am not dating.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
No, waiter's asking more specific questions.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
How are you doing? good i'm a little under the weather um i had some i had someone with the flu or something but hey at least it happened now when i'm not back home and i can curl up so it's all good whoever gave it to me you're a lovely person and it's a lovely illness so
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah, to prove I support your relationship, come to Vegas where no one cheats.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
Yeah, but now she doesn't know that this latest rumor is on camera and you guys are still bringing it on camera and talking shit. Now, I don't think that they're in the wrong here, but yeah, what are you going to do? Hire a PI, you know? Yeah. So upbeat music. Here we go. I just need you to be mine, be mine. Tell me, baby, baby, that you're mine. We're at Brad's house, and his brother's over.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
And I like that our note taker, Chandler, says, the brother, Sean, is on the couch. Open concept layout, of course. Damn, Chandler. Chandler's like, I'm over this open concept. Yeah, I've had it. I've fucking had it. I'm saying something.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
You don't know what that means? When you're winning, leave the table. That's not how gambling works, okay? Here's why gambling sucks. Because you sit down and you win $10. And then all your friends start going, walk away, Ronnie. Walk away. You won $10. I don't want $10. I want that pink fucking convertible Mercedes in the front that you have to win the progressive for.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
You got to get the three Betty Boops or whatever. I'm not happy with $10. I want it all.
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#2723 Southern Hospitality S03E06: A Graceless Debut
so far good uh we've got um a few days left just four days left to stream the crappies if you're so inclined to go do that get the link over at watch out crappins.com and that's where you'll also find ticket links for guess what next month's shows we start again in march and we're going crazy in march we're going to be is march number three january february march
Watch What Crappens
#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
So she, I didn't get the sense that that's why she left. I didn't get the sense that she left because she was like, you know what? I'm not welcome here. I'm going to leave. I got the sense that she left because she was like, fuck that bitch, which meant that she wasn't actually as in my mind, in my view, in my world, it meant that she wasn't as apologetic as she was saying she was.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
So Cynthia's saying, we've got history. And I couldn't be happier for my friend today. We're going to celebrate the Hennymore Hair Care Spa, which will be a totally wonderful event where nothing will go wrong whatsoever.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
Bad. And she's also humiliating her to a whole bunch of randos, too. These are, as Nini would say, the Twitter people. Yeah, the Twitter people. And it's like, who are you? You're having your big moment. You're being the big fish in the small pond right now. And it kind of is very sad. And it's like, why are you doing this whole thing?
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
So I didn't escalate it. By the way, give, give the flowers. She goes, give them to someone homeless outside, which is like, it's like, so it's so like, it's, it's, there's issues on so many levels with that, but it's also kind of like you're homeless here. Take some flowers. Like, um, I'm maybe there's something more useful.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
And then she talks about having a gun because she keeps it on her at all times. She did. So this woman was saying all this stuff. Oh, no. And everyone else on the cast is like, where's this going? They are giving you these looks like, and you know, she's like, this woman's saying all this stuff like, you don't know who the fuck I am. And I'm like, you're right. I don't know who you are.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
So now she starts reaching for the foam core that she has assembled her demonstration on. Her FedEx Kinko strip pays off here.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
And then Kenya's talking to an interviewer and she goes, Well, this establishment is my first brick and mortar hall of law. And everything I do is like motivated out of the love that I have for my daughter. So what you will see, everything you will see here in this spa is because of the love I have for my daughter.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
So yeah, she used to be a video hoe. And then Kelly's like, bye. So Kelly leaves.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
But it's true. And some people have been hosed. Some people continue to be hosed. And that's okay. It's okay. So Kelly is like, I mean, here you have this beautiful salon, and we're here to celebrate you. Why are we discussing Brit at your grand opening? Which is the true question. This is ridiculous, especially when Kenya did go on about how her stuff was cut out last season.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
That was this beautiful, empowering event. And now she's finally getting to do it. And this is the opposite of empowering.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
But like also like, so you're, so your big incrimination about someone is that she gave a blow job. I don't understand. I guess maybe there was more to it, whatever, but like, well, she's saying she's a whore.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
yeah but like you know what like it just is such a it's it's it's so shitty it's so shitty and it's also so like retrograde at this point you know it's like okay so she gave a blow job big deal even if she got money for it big deal who cares good for her yeah that's what Kenya goes to she's always trying to slut shame everybody that's like her thing you know it's always been her thing she's got some weird thing about sex that she she's like puritanical about sex it's weird
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
Well, she came up through the Miss whatever pageant it was, because now I can't remember if it was Miss USA or Miss America. Miss Universe. Or USA. You're right. No, you're right. It was USA. And it's like that, you know, the pageant world is conservative. And I wonder if there's still some sort of like...
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
So it's getting worse. No one likes this. And so now Kenya's like, who is trying to take food out of my daughter's mouth? That's what this is about. So thank you very much for supporting me. I'm like, you cannot put this...
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
put these pictures up on a poster board like without consent of this woman giving a blow job in front of a group of people it's mortifying if it were there it would have it would have been so mortifying for her it's it's actually like it makes me sad for how mortified she would have been It doesn't matter what the context was coming up to it. It would have been totally mortifying.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
I'm a boss, and I need her to know that she can be a boss, too. A boss that shames people in the most embarrassing way possible. And she can do anything she wants to, except continue filming with Bravo. Yeah.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
And then you cannot frame it like this is actually a sanctimonious deed for the sake of food in your daughter's mouth.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
You are the one taking the food out right now.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
She's like, thank you. It was so sad because everyone's like horrified. But there were a few people that were like,
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
It was like the end of Cruel Intentions. It was like something you see in a movie where people are horrified and someone's going down in flames and everyone just slowly backs out of the room and they're left alone. But it really happened.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
and everyone's upset i mean cynthia's like she basically says to her she's like look i'm gonna say this really quick and i'm gonna go i didn't see what happened i'm getting no brit but i know you and i really hate that you let that in because i think you're bigger than this i think you're way bigger this is her way of being like you up you should not have done this and this was you you messed up
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
showing the camera and like slut shaming Camille at the same I mean I don't know like I don't want to have to excuse that but I don't think it's the same I don't think it was right but I don't think and this was done in a really vindictive nasty way you know I mean the tone shouldn't really affect it but like it is a consideration and this was done in a way that was it was meant to hurt and embarrass and it was just it was really it was it was a low it was a big it was actually a low because it was it's also like it's not what Bravo's about no no no
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
I know. I'm mixed. Like, as a viewer, I'm also upset because I feel like the show... To me, as I've said before, I feel like the season, the cast chemistry is back and the show has been doing really well. So to see that someone getting fired, you're like, oh no, like hopefully the show, like the season was going so well. So I'm hoping it doesn't like get all messed up.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
But do you think that there was a producer who was encouraging Kenya to go down this path? Who was like, oh, why don't you do some, you should do like a poster, like do some posters and make a whole moment, you know? And you think this was just purely.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
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Watch What Crappens
#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
This is as close to like a victory lap as they're going to give Kenya. They're like, well, it's going to be your final episode. So let's give her a moment. Of somebody appreciating her.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
It was almost a backdoor pilot. So, yeah, everyone get excited for that amazing chemistry between Kenya and Miss Lawrence.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
Queer clips for the straight guy. So, so Brit is, meanwhile, in Brit's enormous waffle van, I'm sorry, Kelly's waffle van, Brit joins and she has this bouquet and she's, this is like, it's a pure intention because I take full accountability.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
Yeah. It was from the shoebox collection, but, you know, it was a start.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
Maxine, shoebox greetings. And I was like, you got this. You can do this. And Britt's like, what would I do without you? She's like, look, we're going to ride till the wheels fall off. She's like, well, I hope they fall off because that would be great for my insurance company.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
Yeah, Monietta. Did Monietta get a chyron? I feel like she didn't get a chyron. Maybe she did and I missed it. But Manietta was sort of like flittering throughout these scenes here. And there was a lady, there was one lady they showed so many times that was like, are we supposed to know who this is?
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
She had like, she was like a white lady that had like a, I think she had like a piercing, like was the piercing on the eyebrow or is it under the lip? I forget what it was. She kind of reminded me of Leona from Euros of Hollywood, but she was in the shot many, many times.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
time for kenya more haircare well actually kenya's hair spa party time so everyone's getting ready kelly is in a enormous van to pick up brit and then cynthia's walk on the red carpet um they've hired all sorts of extras to make it seem like there's a giant crowd because i mean who wouldn't want to clamor uh outside of a hair spa and try to take photos of people so they're acting like if this is the oscars and just a hair spa opening up and cynthia's like
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
yeah blue on the gold lexus um so i wasn't sure if she was someone that we're supposed to know um so anyway this is cool this hair show is amazing uh like we see one model and her hair is like spider web another one is like marie internet and she has like a bottle of kenya more hair care product that's like embedded in it and then it's just everything's like it's it's like amazing and fabulous
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
So how are you feeling? Like how is everything going with the family? And Britt's saying how her aunt just died. She had a stroke and it was like all very quick. And that's her dad's sister. So she's just like going through a lot of emotions and everything. It makes her think about her dad and it was unexpected. And, you know, she's just in a weird space.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
And even with the Kenya situation, she's just dealing with all this stuff all at once. So we go back to the event and Cynthia's like, by the way, Before it gets crazy, what happened at Angela's event? I heard she had it at a Bank of America of some sort.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
So then we see Kenya and Angela are chatting one-on-one. We're cross-cutting between different conversations. And Kenya's like, I really appreciate you reaching out to me after your dinner because you were the only one who reached out to me.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
Also, my daughter is wondering if she can use your car. She says, now that I've spoken to you on the phone, all your possessions belong to her.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
Yeah. And so they're wondering, is Brit going to come? And they think that Brit is not going to come. But what they don't realize is that Brit is going to come.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
Yes. Like missing the entire hair battle. And you really are making an effort there, you know? Yeah.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
um so kelly's telling brit she's like you know porsche was there i know i was talking to i went to kenya's and porsche was there we had a conversation and i told them look this is not typical brit and i and i said she takes full accountability your words not mine and brit's like i was wrong i went too far and i can recognize when i go too far yeah
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
and yeah they're still debating about whether they're going to you know is it will the apology be received etc so then brit and kelly walk in and the producer uh says to porsche like when you see brit what is your first thought and porsche's like is your wig tacked down because i attack my down even more further
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
So then Kenya's taking a shot and then Kelly and Britt joined the group and Kenya's just ignoring them completely or at least ignoring Britt. So Shamia is like, well, by the way, if I saw you and she didn't want you here, security would have already escorted you out. You know, Cynthia's like, yeah, well, Kenya's known for putting people out of.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
I'm so excited for my girl. I've been there for her journey. I've seen all the ups and the downs, mainly the downs. And we go all the way back to when I had to ban her from the Bailey agency. And we see a clip to 2012, the Gucci crack moment.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
events so they're basically just like laughing about this like oh my god i can't believe she showed up and then drew meanwhile tries to hug porsche because we have multiple rivalries happening here and porsche refuses to hug drew
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
And I've given Peter a massage on camera.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
Uh, so Drew's like, let's not be weird. Okay. Everyone knows I'm going through a divorce. Okay. And it's crazy. So why would I be stupid enough to be messing with Dennis, your baby daddy? Okay. Let's just nip it in the bud right now. You can have his hot dog.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
It's just like, it's just singing. Nothing's happening. I'm not doing anything to you. And I don't want to, it's just really dumb at this point. Like I'm not going to do fake interactions or have problems. Um,
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
Yeah. I don't know why they're always so surprised when Drew lies and is messy. It's just like 100% her thing. So now Drew's going to act like, oh, well, whatever. I've tried. I'm not going to try anymore with Portia. It's like, okay, good luck, Drew. She's much more famous than you. But I will try with her agent. I will keep trying to get her agent. Yeah. Exactly.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
So Kenya walks up to the group, and so Britt is like – here are some here's some flowers i take full accountability and um she just is like i just want to apologize and give you these so kenya's like kenya does her favorite move of all time which is to say hi in a big way to everyone but one person in this case briz she's like hi hi hi hi
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
Yes. And so Britt, who says that she is takes full accountability. And if Kenya doesn't want isn't ready to accept this fine, she's going to do what she can do. The moment that Kenya is like, Yeah, I'm not interested in this basically ignores it and ignores the flowers. But it's like, fine. And then it storms out, which normally I would say you're being so immature.
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#2793 RHOA S16E05 Part Two: Out of this Twirled
Like you can't like you're apologizing. You're making it again about you. But in this case, it turned out to be pretty good that she left because it would have been, I think, significantly worse had she stayed for the rest of the scene.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
I forgot the ages. It sounded like I said you hate your family. But you hate your family, so stop. So now Angela's like, well, but what about Portia saying that she's heard some tea about Charles? Dun, dun, dun.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah, no one's going to brag about sleeping with your husband. Yeah, the guy who acts like he has a toothpick in his mouth at all times.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
yeah i just don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon okay yeah i agree and shimi is like um you're supposed to be apologizing for threatening violence not threatening more violence and so they all laughed like oh my god britches can't help threatening violence it's hilarious so porsche shows up at kenya's hair spa and uh kenya's like security let you in
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
So then we get the thing that we get every season.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Okay. I heard that before. So now Kelly arrives, too, and she's still too much because she's still new. So she's like, oh my God, everyone. Hi. Oh, so good to be here. As a business owner, so good to be here.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
They are covered in syrup. So if anybody tries anything with me, they're going to be moving slowly.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah, so now they're going to, you know, she's saying, oh, you're such a good hostess, Kenya. And Kenya's like, oh, I haven't always been told that. And then we see a flashback to 2021 when Marlo's coming at her for not providing food for her guests. Which was true. That was some bad hosting. And then ordering herself some DoorDash.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah. So they do a model walk off and they're like, twirl, give us twirl, can you more hair spa? So they're auditioning models. I'm not really sure because I don't think any of the models actually get their hair done at this place. They just put on a bunch of wigs. And then am I reading that right?
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
So yeah, it was a good drag show. I mean, they did do like a good kind of drag show, but I don't know. I think those girls do their own wigs. Drag queens, right? Isn't that part of their thing? Well, I don't think they were drag queens, but it was definitely. No, I just mean like it was that kind of show. You know what I mean? Like it was like a very drag inspired show.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
yeah of course drag is inspired by women in the first place so i don't know which came first the chicken or the horse with those wig shows i don't know if it's like one person doing the wig or if it's like multiple people that are doing like a wig competition um that's a bald i just like it's so weird to me you know i'm like wow look at all of you celebrating your dead skin cells hanging out all over your head congratulations
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
So they're asking her if she invited Brit to her thing. She's like, well, I didn't specifically invite her. And they're like, but you didn't uninvite her. And she says, no. And so they're like, so what even happened the other day? And Kenya says, well, you know, we're talking about my big vagina. I thought it was so fun. And then it all went bad.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
And so they're like, yeah, you know, and Portia's sticking up for Kenya. She's like, yeah, you know, it took a left turn. Kenya had disengaged. OK, that's nothing for Kenya. Yeah. And then when she says that she has a pistol, you know, no, we have to find out exactly what was said. And Kenya's like, well, I know what I heard. And Kelly didn't hear it.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
And Kenya, look, the girl did say she had a pistol and she had a chain. I'm not going to stick up for that because she never should have said that. She did not say I have a pistol and I'm going to kill that bitch or anything like that. But I think even saying like in anger, you know, I have a pistol. Okay. But how overreact-y are we going to be?
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
You know, I think I'm walking it back a little just because I've seen the end of this episode.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Kenya is definitely though doing the Kenya thing where she is now like oh I'm gonna take that and I am going to like I found a weakness and I'm going to exploit that well I guess with the evidence presented of Kenya also doing this in season six now granted that was a long time ago this is season 16 so that was 10 seasons ago things were different then you know back when we could back when we could threaten people with guns God don't you miss those days
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
No, nailed it. Did great. Nailed it. Nailed it. Okay, so this is the episode we've all been waiting for for Atlanta. What did Kenya do? What exactly did she do? Because at the time when this happened, people were putting out fake pictures on the internet of Kenya posing next to a poster board of Brit with a dick.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah. All the fun days. Well, I live in Texas, so I still live in those days, I guess, you know. Solicitors? How about soliciting a bullet, motherfucker?
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah. So she's like, that was just such a level of disrespect. You know, the level of angst and aggressive nature of how she was speaking, which, I mean, I agree with that part. So Kelly's like, but she's not that person, guys. She's not that person. Well, she is. She's that person because that was her. So unless you're saying she was on some kind of pills or something, she was that person.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
So don't say she's not that person. Just say, let's help her be a better person, guys. This is Housewives. Let's lift each other up.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Well, and also you did see it. You did see her act like that that night when everybody else saw it. And everybody saw it on the TV as well.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah. But they're noobs, so they're trying to stick together. So then Portia's like, well, you know, maybe Kenya should do her due diligence and speak to other people who were there and see. And I guess Portia's trying to see, like, did... Was Kenya really threatened with a gun? Because Portia, I guess, didn't hear this. So she's just heard it from Kenya.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
So I love that she's saying right in front of Kenya, like, should we get some proof of what this girl even said? And Kenya's like, oh, I'll do my due diligence. I'm running a background check. Dun, dun, dun. Yeah.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah, I was going to say, I don't really try to get anything right. I feel like I have a lot of accuracy. This is not a show people come to for me to get things right.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
So she talks about how Amari lost her father to murder in Chicago when she was just a little kid, seven years old. And so she's been a single mom for a long time. So they've just become best friends, as we'll see in this very scene. So Amar is like really into coffee. So she's going to have her own coffee shop. And her mom doesn't understand the difference between coffees.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
on her face and stuff so i was like what happened um also since last week you know the the fighting on the internet you you can always just rely on the internet to fight over the dumbest things which i love you internet you know with the world tearing down among us it's great to be able to spend hours upon hours on real housewives of atlanta threads reading what everybody's uh pissed about so
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
She's like, just make it out of a Keurig. And Amar is like, mother. So they're having one of those.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Your father calls the Keurig a fingerprint magnet that I'm not allowed to use. So I wouldn't really know.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
And so Angela's like, well, you know, I got a call from your grandma saying you need to talk to your daughter. So what happened? And she goes, what happened? Okay, now listen to this story. So I went to grandma to use the car that you provided for her, thinking it would be no problem. Excuse me, you showed up at your grandma's house and said, I'm taking your car. My mom bought this car anyway.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
No. Speaking in your grandmother's defense already, just for your first line, your mother buying that car for your grandmother does not make that your car, ma'am. You still need to ask permission to use somebody's car. So already I'm not on her side.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
When Monica's mom was like, okay, you want to call me a bad mother and shame me on TV? Then you don't get the car I pay for.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
So she went over, said she wants the car. The grandma said no. And then she says, but then they wanted money from me. And your sister got in my face and called me a demon. And she told everybody in the house, fuck them. All because I wanted to use a car that wasn't hers. It wasn't even my sister's. It wasn't even yours either.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
ma'am so she's like well you know how much i helped them and you helped them too and so angela gets all teary-eyed and she's like nobody told me that you should have told me that you never told me anyone got in your face none of this makes sense to me i have to say i don't understand someone getting in your face i don't understand did you ask nicely for the car did you just show up and demand the car what happened
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Did you take their money to start a Peruvian coffee company? Is that the real story here?
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
There's been a big war about like, you know, this is unfair to Kenya. Britt was the one who threatened to pull a gun and all this. Well, then they released the tapes, which were Kenya from season six, threatening to shoot Phaedra and her donkey booty and then pulling out her gun. Now, this was all at her house, you know, when she was talking to Brandon. Yeah.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Why isn't Amari living with the mom? Why is she living with the grandma?
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yes. It's been 11 seconds. So then that answers the question why she wasn't living with them. It's probably making her crazy. And she's like, I can't buy everyone a house. So for now, go live with your grandma. And then that turned into a big fight. And so she ended up moving out. So Angela's like, the fact that my mother didn't defend you breaks my heart. It just breaks my heart.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
And she's like, and they didn't even tell you the full story? It just sucks. Yeah.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
But they were like, since when is Kenya so upset about gun stuff? She threatened Phaedra with the gun to the point where Phaedra showed up with the bodyguard of the reunion and all that, which I totally forgot about. I have forgotten about that 100%.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
So then, you know, I love a law show. I love like a legal show, like a Matlock or a good wife, my personal favorite, the good wife. And if this was a good wife episode, you would have had this whole episode being like, you know, justice for Kenya. And then the defense pulls out.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
dun dun dun the tape of kenya doing the gun thing and i think any reasonable tv uh jury would be like well then kenya's fucked you know like can you just sunk her case so uh i almost felt for kenya when that all came out so you know anyway i'm just saying that to kind of update you with my personal feelings on what's been going on i'm like what the hell now after i watched this episode i was like oh yeah yeah kenya's fucked
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Uh, so Brittany's like, yeah, you know, she was afraid and I was just triggered, you know? And, um, she literally does go, I was triggered by everything that was going on in that moment. And I just popped off with Kenya. Like, God, come on.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah. And also, I wish they had shown the clip of Portia coming in and not hugging most of them, you know, because Britt's whole thing was like, oh, you don't even hug me. Just give me a pat. So she was trying too hard. And Portia's like, well, you know, like maybe that was a heated moment. Okay.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
You know, like I had a heated moment at Shamia's house and we got into the elevator and, you know, I'm like, I wish I had my pistol. I mean, what do you think I want it for? Oh, so she was saying, what if I had done that? What if when I was heated, I said, I wish I had my pistol. And so Britt's like, well, okay, you're right. That wasn't the time for me to talk about a pistol.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
So Brittany is like, you know, I can 100 percent apologize, you know, whatever. Like, I don't want to give her any more ammo. I just want to, like, show up and just put this thing to sleep.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Buckets of chicken. Literal buckets of chicken. Who is this man feeding? Who is he feeding? I mean, I know tall people eat a lot, but goddamn, man.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Maybe. Maybe, yeah. That's actually a good call. Maybe he is cooking for the crew. He might be one of those people that's...
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
And maybe that's why he's getting such a good edit because, you know, they can take a husband like Charles and edit him many different ways. And so far they're like, oh, he's he's a grouch, but he's a fun loving grouch who makes a lot of food. So maybe maybe you're right. Maybe you're onto something. So she's redoing her bathroom because Angela cannot stop redoing things. She's doing five houses.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Even her own damn bathroom, she's just taking a hammer to the walls. Like, what the fuck?
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Amari's like, get out of my bathroom, mother. She drives in. She drives through the front door in her grandma's car.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
This is so funny. I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I love how she called him. She's like, you know, getting her face ready to put on makeup. She goes, Charles. Charles! Because you know Charles never listens. He just pretends he can't hear her.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah, but he's bold, Charles. Charles is a little afraid of making a chicken wait. So, and plus he's got 9,000 other pieces that he can cut. So like, what's one? They'll just give it to the little kid, you know? So Charles comes in, she talks about going to this Kenya Moore hair thing and does he want to come? And he's like, no, I've got hair.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Which I don't know what that even... I don't know how that really translates into an answer. But he's like, why would I go? Hair, I've already got hair. Okay, well, it's not a hair restoration company.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
What, is she the Fed or something? Why do I love Charles so much? Please, Charles, don't turn out to be a monster. Because I really like you so far.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah, she double speaks, right? Because she goes, now you can speculate all you want, but you better not say anything about my husband. Which is it? She's like, you can talk about him all you want, but you better not talk about it.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
That's a direct quote. One of the all-time best taglines. So Charles was like, she doesn't even know me. And she goes, well, I don't know what it was. And he goes, okay, well, tell her to stay in her own lane because she's barking up the wrong tree. She goes, okay. And he goes, she better hit her brakes a couple of times.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
I love that. Google me twice. So he goes, do your job. And when you got her, let me know. She's like, okay. Okay, Charles. He does not care. He checks his timer. He's like, there's a chicken calling. Goodbye. You stupid plot line over with. Okay, bye. So he's like, fix this bathroom. God damn.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
No, I'm telling you that man did not overcook one piece of chicken. He had it timed. I love that he whipped out his timer. He was like, okay, that's enough of you.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
She comes down with him and she washes her hands. And then the little kid comes down and he's like, do you want some chicken? So he takes some chicken. And then Angela reaches over and he's like, wash your hands. And she's like, I did wash my hands. And then they do like a full rewind to show her washing her hands.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
And she tries again. She's like, okay, well, anyway, I'm going to call my mother and my sister and goes, oh, my God, why do you keep bringing up your issues with me? Why? Do you see I'm making chicken? Like, how many issues are you going to bring up with me in one day? And she's like, we're married. You're who I talk to.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
And he's like, he goes, I ain't got no time to be taking your feelings in, begging to do this, to do that. I mean, just let it go. And wash your hands while you're at it. Charles. Charles seems both like the worst husband on the planet and also the best. Like, I think I need someone like that. Who's just like, your problems are stupid. Can we please stop talking about them and just eat? My God.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
I guess if I was just reading this on paper, I'd be like, this guy's a fucking monster. You better run, Angela. I'm pulling my van up outside jumping. But I don't know. There's something about how the way he says it that I'm like, he's so romantic. Like, maybe I could get married.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
i think how i'm taking it is like a just a no nonsense kind of a like don't sweat the small stuff kind of a person he's like oh my god your sister's fighting with someone i'm shocked wow the real housewives are trying to cause drama and say i'm a cheater oh like am i supposed to be scared i'm taking it like he just doesn't he's i take it as him not being mean to her him just being like why are we worried about stupid shit
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
we're rich and we're happy can we just like yeah can we just chill and not worry about stupid petty stuff
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah. And bringing her daughter up the whole time. Like, she's trying to take food out of my daughter's mouth. I was like, really? You're going to bring up your daughter while you're showing like... blowjob pictures to your crowd at the business that's supposed to take care of your daughter. I mean, we'll get there as the episode goes along, but damn.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
And he goes, well, listen, I don't get into family business because my family's rough enough. I'm not putting up with your family too, okay? Fuck all family. And I like at least someone's honest because we have both Angela and Britt like,
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
But you both, your family, your family's full of assholes, as you've told us. Like, they're trying to pretend, but then you've got Britt who doesn't really, she's not there for her sister, like we learned last week. And I'm not accusing Angela of anything, but we know they're fucked up. So it's refreshing to hear someone be like, fuck your family.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
If your family's going to be assholes, then fuck them.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
It's refreshing. I like it. Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. It's you.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
the bay area betches betches and our super premium sponsors she's vvip it's amanda v can't lose when you're with amy baldwin somebody get us 10 cc's of betsy md we're taking the gold with brenda silva let's get real with caitlyn o'neill don't get salty with christine pepper can't have a meal without the emily sides let's go into the woods with guy tubs
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
It's our queen, it's Queen Laifa.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Okay, so we open this episode, season 16, episode 5, about last night. Over at Shamia's house. And Angela, who also has a... Like, let's not understate Angela's crazy-ass storyline either. Like, what the fuck? This episode is crazy. This whole episode is nuts. So we open with Angela coming over to Shamia's house. And Shamia's like, you know, I'm so glad you came, Angela. I just...
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. We're on the floor with Molly Dorsett.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
I just wanted to really apologize for making fun of your physical appearance. And Angela's like, yeah, you too, you too. Let's not forget that. I also made fun of your physical appearance. Okay. Flava. Yeah. So I got you too.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
of this group she is the self-proclaimed speaking of horses she is the self-proclaimed glue of the group so she's going to make everything okay
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
That is how uncomfortable that couch is, okay? Sumia, you have so much money. I know that couch is gorgeous, but get a couch people can sit on because that shit people roll right off of. They would rather sit on the floor to eat your chips than sit on that couch.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah. General banks. Your hours, you bastards. My overdraft fees. Fuck off with that. So Angela's like, oh, yeah, the bank is so mad at me. And so Britt's just saying, oh, I need to apologize. Who am I going to apologize to? And Shamia's like, well, okay, look, I know Kenya cut you off and that wasn't great. And she goes...
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Britt, you were acting like an idiot and nobody did anything to you. And Kenya never did anything to you. Like in the whole history of this show, watching what Kenya has done, what she did to you was nothing. She wasn't even being mean to you about your wedding ring. She was trying to figure out what the fuck you were talking about with your wedding ring. Like all of us were.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah, so Britt's like, well, we were talking about me, okay? And, you know, okay. And I get that it would be sensitive because Kenya called her a peasant and her husband won't buy her, you know, marble countertops, which is difficult.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah, it's not like she knew that your husband wouldn't buy you nice finishes.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
She had no idea. She thought you had perfectly nice countertops. She didn't know. Oh, also, speaking of apologies, I know this show's not airing right now, but I wish that they could bring on Ashley to apologize to Roberta Flack. Did you see that whole thing?
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
So Ashley's like, I'd like to dedicate this to Roberta Flack. And it was just universally panned. I mean, I think even Russia was like, whoa, no, please, no. Cut, cut, gong, gong, we gong it, please, no.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah, hey, that's how to take it, bank. Look at Fox 5 News, okay? That's how to take bad news. Fox 5's like, yes, ratings. So then Ashley went to some jazz bar, because now she has a jazz band, I guess. I'm not really sure what she's doing. So she was at some jazz bar.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah. The birds, birds flock together. You know, these ones flock to the tune of very off key songs.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
I'm going to do it now, boys. And, you know, they're great musicians. They all start playing. It's like, oh, no, no. Why are you doing it again? Why don't you just bring Roberta Flack up and just start kicking her over and over again? Leave her alone. Let her rest.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yeah. Don't kill me with the migraine girl. So she, that was rough. So she owes everybody an apology. Okay, so back to this show.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Let me hear it. Is it playing? I don't hear it. Ben, I don't hear it. He can't see me. He's listening to this clip. Oh, you guys didn't hear it? Nope.
Watch What Crappens
#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
Yep, that's Lou sweeping the acting awards for the year. Okay, so they're back to talking about Brittany apologizing and Angela's like, you know, I was taking Britt's side. I mean, like Britt feels this way. Britt told me I didn't like the way Kenya made me feel.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
So then we see Angela and Britt hiking and Britt saying all this stuff. And she's saying, you know, I just felt provoked and I don't want anybody to think I was trying to intimidate Kenya, you know, because I would never in any form shape anything.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
So Britt has obviously been pulled over by producers and we're like, yeah, you can't threaten people with guns. Make it right or you're out. And so she, you know, is going to now have to apologize.
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#2792 RHOA S16E05 Part One: Out of this Twirled
a very conscious effort to take it back a notch i'm gonna be better yeah it definitely spoke of she got a slap on the wrist from bravo and now she has marching orders to yeah be better and angela's like well you know us family's family and family's the most important thing yeah family's the most important thing yeah family family right you both hate your families so could we stop having little side scenes where you talk about how important family is you both hate your families okay
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Yeah. Well, not really, but she knows they're with the other nanny. So I guess one nanny is the daughter of the other nanny is what I'm getting. Isn't that what it sounds like? Like there's one nanny who lives where they live. And then there's another nanny who lives four hours away where they also kind of live. I don't know. So then, um, it's just joint practices.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So she's like, well, Cup Fitness, the C word was our nanny since Joshua was born. And then we see a picture and she's like, and she was also the mother of the bride in my wedding with Gordon because my mom was incarcerated. So we were really close. So they're fine now. I'm going to go fucking for a week.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
There's something for every style and home, no matter your space or budget.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Mia's one of those kids that if her kids were missing and somebody put the milk carton down in front of her with the kid's face on them, she'd be like, well, I'm going to eat some cereal right now because there's nothing else I can do.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Okay, so let's get some tequila, girl. And Jacqueline's like, thank God. You're fine, baby. I got you, baby. I got you. I know what you're going through. I know the other girls don't get it, but I get it. And I love you. And the other girls don't love you, but I do. And I know you're doing a great job, okay? We're going to figure this out together.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So I forgot, did she lose her tooth or her luggage or what happened with her?
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And she actually had the nerve to say, no one wants to share a room with Stacy, not even TJ. Excuse you. How many men have run out of your life screaming and yelling? How dare you be mean to this new lady who I love? Yeah, I love Stacy. I think Stacy's just wonderful. Don't be mean to Stacy. Stop. Go be mean to people who deserve it. Like Karen or Ashley or Robin.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Bring Ashley, bring Robin back and be mean to her for once.
Watch What Crappens
#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Or she's a traitor. I mean, they couldn't put Robin as a traitor, because they'd be like, okay, who do you think is a traitor? It's been Robin. Who? Robin.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I feel bad for Robin. I normally don't feel bad for people who have been fired from shows, but I do feel bad for Robin. I just feel like she did so much. I mean, she tried to have a trash truck company. Remember when she wanted to have the garbage truck? Oh, yeah. I mean, she's done so much to stay on the show. We just were like, get out, Robin. Get out and close the dump truck behind you.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
She peed her off. I just want to point out that my little headphone thing broke, and so I currently have it tied to my ear with a twisty tie from the garbage.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
If you're looking to get away with all the fabulous luxe experience of the Housewives, but none of the drama, check out Virgin Voyages.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
HERS is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So we see a flashback to six weeks ago at Lake Norman and Stacy's telling Kay, if I have to sleep in a bunk bed, I am so excited. It gets to be with you, my new bestest girlfriend.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Yeah. Yeah. And Ashley, you know, it's so cute seeing Ashley do so many TikTok dances and just never really getting better at it. I don't know, I like that. It makes me feel better about my piano playing. Cause every day, there I am, plinking away. Do I get better? Never. But I still keep doing it. You know, it's enjoyable. Guys, just be happy being mediocre sometimes.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Just really, really run it home. You know what I mean?
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I'll play wind beneath my wings and just like plunk every, every couple of chords, just mess up a chord.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So for anybody who is falling for Wendy as a tour guide, let this line help you out. Well, ladies, we're heading to Panama City. We're going to do some shopping. We're going to do some eating. Some authentic stuff. Okay, it's going to be fun. Come on. I love doing authentic stuff.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Sounds great. So Karen's like, well, last night was overwhelming a little bit, but we didn't talk about or get from you. An update on Greg, Kiana, there, you're welcome. I'm about to spit off the table, scrap from the table, enjoy.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Start your initial free online visit today at 4hers.com slash crappins.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Listen, nobody cares about Kierna. And I'm so sarny, so sarny. Thank you. I'm sarny about it because we all want to, right? Yeah, I mean, I do like her. I think like she seems so sweet and she's so beautiful and I love her outfits and stuff, but she's just not firing on any cylinders.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And so she goes into her thing with Greg, which nobody cares about her thing with Greg either because it's kind of like grody. Like he just seems like not nice. And I know that he's probably coming off like that because he just doesn't want to be on camera, but he's coming off as a total asshole. So she goes into her relationship. I just don't care.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
know i don't care so she talks about that he's divorced they have kids now they stay in more and she's like he has pizza every every day when i'm gone well he probably does near there too because your whole storyline is that you don't cook just ff ff the k ff yeah it's it was like it was like a little bit of they're finally like learning about kieran's life it's kind of funny that this is like we're we're in episode 13 and they're finally asking kieran oh tell us about your relationship with greg
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And you can tell that they just made Karen do it too, because Karen doesn't care. Karen's like, well, you know, one thing we haven't talked about is her relationship with him. Him? Social worker. You never know. It's 2024. Do it.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Could you please go save Robin Dixon from Robin Dixon's home? Unfortunately, Robin is suffering from having to live with someone named Robin. So let's see what we can do about that, my social worker.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And then we see a clip, we see a flashback that was really good even when it first happened. So I'm really glad they're flashing back to where she brings boxes in and she's like, we need more room. You need to give up some of your room. And he's like... It's like, wow, you guys should show that every episode. So then back to the Sprinter house, Wendy's asking when the house is going to be done.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So then Giselle is like, well, Karen, while I was love lagooning, I spoke with Raymond and he said that you gave him a list of shit he needs to do.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
One of them is simple stuff. Like when we first got together, he would always open my door. Doesn't do that anymore. I'm like, why don't you open his door? That man can barely walk. He's using the door handle as something to hold him up.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
He does not open the door for me. He does, however, bump into it and then stagger backwards away from it. And then I open it. Well, he didn't see the door, Karen. Also, I have a feeling he's not opening the door because he's behind her. You know what I mean? You know he is. You know he's stumbling behind her.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
He's traveling to the village. That's what he's doing now. And they're like, oh, right. She goes, well, you know, he does that better than opening the door. But I'm chump.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
but she won't give him blow jobs, basically. And so Karen's like, I cut it off. And then we see a flashback to the dominatrix night in 2020, where they were talking about this. And she said, I've retired my mouth. I had a lot on my plate the last two and a half years, so my mouth is done.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And she's like, no, I won't do it. So, you know, I mean, just in case anybody's like, you know, I need a break from everything going on with Karen. Let's talk about Karen getting eaten out and going down on Ray. That'll save it.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I mean, I know, listen, I may not be the best mother in the world, but I can tell you this, at all times, my children are on a countertop.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So she's like, where are the children? And Jacqueline's like, well, they ended up being at that C word's house, you know, the grandma. And he dropped them off there, but what? Grandma cut fitness. Old grandma cut. And he dropped him over there, but he wasn't answering any of the calls. And now she's like, wow, was she about to call the police? And she's like, no, but she was having a panic attack.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Well, hello and welcome to What What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on ye olde bruvs. Hello, everybody. Welcome. Hi, Ben. How are you? Hi, Ronnie. I'm great. Thanks. How are you doing? Good. That's Ben. I'm Ronnie, everybody. Welcome to the show. Today is Real Housewives of Potomac Day.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
She was like, Jacqueline, thank God you're here. I couldn't do this without you, Jacqueline. Please don't leave me. I can live without my children, but I can't live without you, Jacqueline.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I know where your children are with Michael. Oh, that's much better. I mean, Ashley doesn't get to go off about safety when she had children with Gollum on like the 80th floor of a high rise with no child protections.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
How was it? So the gays were like, let's have a gay night. And I was like, okay. And they said, we're going to go to a strip club. And I was like, I'm sorry. We talk about Mia. So I'm like, I went to a strip club. Um, So I was like, oh, there's male strip clubs? Because, you know, for men, that's just a dude standing on a bar punching his dick, you know? And so I was like, whatever. Let's do it.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So we show up at Jumbo's Clown Room, which is girls. It's not boys. And they're not really strippers, per se. Like, they wear little G-strings and, like, bikini tops and stuff. And they can dance their fucking fate. No, it's not really burlesque, because they don't do the, like... It's not that, because burlesque is kind of taking off clothes, right?
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
This, they just appear, well, they take off something, I guess, but they appear in very little and stay in very little. But they do the full-on dance with the bar. Like, they climb up the bar and then slowly come down. Can I tell you, I've never seen happier people in my life. Like, they look so empowered. I was like, I want to grab a bar with my legs and just be able to hover in midair with...
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Perfect posture. And then the only time it was really bad was they have to pick up their own dollars at the end, because then they have to get on their hands and knees and literally crawl around the floor getting dollars. And I was like, okay, the empowerment, you know, I guess you can't give them too, too much empowerment.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
If you're the strip club owner, they're like, they've had enough empowerment, make them clean it up off the floor. Don't give them a broom or nothing. But can I just tell you the gays sat there and the, we sat at the strip thing. It was like half gays and then half straight guys who owned some jazz club named. potato named baked potato, which we're going to go to one day.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
But first, we have the Golden Crappies, the annual Golden Crappie Awards coming out this this year. You know, a lot of people are trying to copy that now. There are things called the Golden Globes. There are things called the Grammys. I mean, whatever. We were the first. And we are in New York City on Broadway on February 1st. People are coming to do the show. I mean, we've asked a lot of people.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So anyway, it's all the gays just going, oh my God, you're amazing.
Watch What Crappens
#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
It was the gayest night at a strip club ever. Those girls loved it. They didn't have to really do anything. They could save their butt pops for later.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
How have they not started doing that? You know, back in the day when Atlanta first started, I was saying they should get QR codes or swipeys on their vajayjays. And then we heard it on Atlanta later. Kenya said it later. I was like, I've never felt more important in my life. Like I was the first person to come up with that.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
But how did they not have swipe machines in their butt cracks at least still? Or now you could do the little tattoo.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Yeah. I'm going to put a Venmo just on my car. I'm going to put one, I'm going to put a little QR code on my forehead. I'm going to do it everywhere.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So let's go back to Jacqueline causing shit for no reason. So Jacqueline's like, oh yeah, G is losing it. And when I tell you he's not okay, let me tell you, but you know what Mia says? He may not be okay, but thank God for you, Mia, you angel from above. Please never leave me or I'll kill my. I'll do it right now, don't ever leave me.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And so then they split up, you know, and Wendy's trying to do her tour guide thing. She's like, welcome to Costco Viejo. I love Costco. You can get very, very large portions of turkey here to use for at least two weeks for your children.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And the men are like, God, I can't whistle. God, that really killed me in the strip club, too. I really wanted to be able to go... Yeah, I can do it lightly. Yeah, I can do a light one, but I don't have any like gusto behind it.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So the guys are whistling at them. And Wendy's like, baby, when the Godiva wall goddess walks through, it's a situation where it, whether in the continental United States or in a architecture, So then they go, some people go to a hat store and then Karen's like, oh, you could come here for the hatitude party. Nobody laughs.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And then Mia, I don't know, they basically all split up and start looking for different things.
Watch What Crappens
#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I thought this was so sad. They're like, let's get a hostess gift, a $5 straw hat from a Panama key chain store.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
We can't really announce it here. I mean, I guess we could, but we like to keep it as a surprise. But we've got big people coming to present awards. It's going to be Star-studded. We're so excited for this. It's going to be musical. It's going to be wonderful. So come get your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. Also, we start our tour in like a second.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And now he's in Martha's Vineyard. OK, wait. So the kids were at Jacqueline's house. So then who's taking care of the kids at Jacqueline's house?
Watch What Crappens
#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I don't know how I still remember that, but yeah, Dr. McDaddy.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So then Ashley's like, oh my God, that's crazy. She goes, yeah. And Stacy's saying that too. And she's like, yeah. And then he gets the kids and he drops them off and goes on vacation. And he's like, yeah. And I'm good that the kids are there, you know, because now they're going to have the time of their life.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
They just sent me a picture and I don't know what I was expecting, but I was not expecting this. I want to go stay at the grandma's house. This looks amazing. It's like one of those island pools. It's like got a waterfall. And I mean, it looks like heaven over there.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
We're going to be in San Francisco and San Diego in two weeks. So come see that because we're there too. Then we're in Salt Lake City and Denver. I mean, it's going to be a whirlwind. So go get your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. And there's a lot of people asking where the Southern Hospitality Recap is. Well, because Bravo... Back loads or what do you call it?
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And it's not your business anyway, though. You know what I mean? And so Mia's like, well, I have so much going on. I don't give a shit, Ashley.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Yeah. So now they're trying to play, the rest two are there, like Kierna and Stacey are like, wow, poor thing.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Not front loads, back load and loads, right? Where you do it towards the end of the week. This is lots of loads. Bravo's giving us so much loads, you guys. It unleashes its load on us.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So Stacy's like, oh my God, why would he do that to you? It's all about control. When he wants me to come home and be his wife, that's what he does. So then they decide he's not gonna ruin this trip for her, okay?
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So then now Kiarna's like, I get it though, because Mia is who she is, and it's kind of repetitive. So, you know, whatever. So then now we go over to Giselle and Jacqueline, and she's like, you know, I know that Mia's going through things, but that's no excuse. And last night she doubled down on the thing about my daughters, ah!
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And Wendy's like, you're better than me because I would have cleared that whole table if she had said something about my daughters. Excuse me, representative of Mia.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And Giselle's like, whatever Mia sucks. And then now Kiera and I decides to get Wendy a little gift and they get her like a little banana pipe thing for happy Eddie. And then they all meet back up and they give Wendy her cheap ass little gifts. And the producer's like, so Wendy, will you ever wear that hat? She's like, I will not.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Yes. You sound super sober right now. So do you think Karen's going to go to jail? I do.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Because that was the deal. I read that if she took the deal, it would have been two months, but she refused to take the deal. And then that video was shown and it's, how did she not take the deal? It's just so stupid. So I think she's going to get like six months to a year on that.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So they're doing this tasting and stuff and kind of teasing each other and whatever. You know, they're all guessing the wrong spices and stuff. And then Ashley calls the boys and she's like, so guys, how are you doing? And they're like dancing on a countertop somewhere. And they're like, hello, mother. We've missed you so much.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I met a really nice lady right now who told me how to hold a dollar in my butt crack. Wah, wah, wah, wah. So she's like, okay, great.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I just asked if I could sit on my new auntie's lap and she asked me for $20 once I got up.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
These are exclusively built kid-free cruises, so no matter what you're looking for, you can get the type of experience you need most, all catered to adult tastes.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So now Wendy brings up the kids. She's like, are the kids okay? And she's like, they're at their dad's house. So everything's fine. And now it's time for a game because, you know, that's what we're left with in this group. There's literally nothing else going on. So Wendy's like, okay, let's imitate each other. So they do.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And they don't really do good imitations of each other, but they do pick little idiosyncrasies. Is that right? Yeah. The idiosyncrasies. That's not found right. Yeah. It doesn't feel right.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And Giselle goes, oh yeah, ink. And Jaclyn's like, no, it was not ink. And Wendy's like, did Ink eat your box? And she goes, I can't remember. She goes, oh, okay, so it was Ink. You guys shared Ink. That little guy gets a lot of play.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
All he has to do is blow kisses. They're like, you know what, Ink? Just stand there and blow bubbles for a while. Okay, back up. Everybody just back up.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Yeah, of course. So then Giselle's like, well, I guess he's just shareable. He's like a little Lunchable. Pass it around. Everybody takes a cracker. Is that how you were supposed to eat Lunchables? That's never how I ate them. That was mine. There was barely anything in there. You better get your finger away from my fucking one of three crackers. You're going to lose it.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Still one of my favorite things. Actually, that's why I was so disappointed we weren't a straight strip club.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Oh yeah. Those were called handy snacks. Oh yeah. I love the little stick with the cheese. I think they're called handy snacks.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I think that's what Jacqueline did with ink. Yeah. So Jacqueline's like, um, so well, it was a period of time where we were finding ourselves and I'm not embarrassed by that because everybody has to find themselves. And when, why not find yourself with friends?
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And let me tell you, the first time I found myself was when I was in the middle of a bukkake and Mia said, Jacqueline, I never want to live without you. And I wiped some stuff off of my eye and I said, right back at you sister for life.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And I told Mia in that moment, this is not about bukkake. This is about you, cocky.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
That's what I ate when my children were missing. Okay, so then Stacey, so basically Wendy's like, well, thank you for the additional information about your past, Jacqueline. We'd love that. And this is what I'm saying about the cast just being like, these two are idiots. Like, don't even play into them. You know what I mean? Even though everybody else did kind of start this between them.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
But they're just like, whatever. So now they have to change in a bathroom because Wendy made some reservations to eat and doesn't want them to all go back to the hotel. And they're like, we have to change to the bathroom?
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I know you want to keep the glamor by changing your outfit, but you kind of kill the glamor by changing in the bathroom.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And they're like, yeah, go home to get your kids. Ink can wait. She's like, well, actually, she's telling us, I have three children and my oldest is in Atlanta. So Ink is in Atlanta.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So then Stacy is on the phone with TJ and, you know, he's being as charming as ever. And she's like, wow, are you guys playing tennis? Are you having fun? And he's like, well, you look very cute, by the way.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So then, let's see, they go to the restaurant and they make a toast. Wendy's like, a toast to Panama, a toast to architecture, a toast to realistic things. Wait, what'd she say? Not realistic things. Authentic things.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
It's back. You can be a cannibal again. Yeah, I just read that Armie Hammer is going to get another chance. They're going to try and make Armie Hammer happen again. Yeah. I don't even think he was a real cannibal, right? Didn't he just have cannibal foreplay?
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
But I feel like I tell people I want to eat them all the time. Is that weird? Is that a weird thing to say? I mean, it's mostly like my nieces, like, I'm going to eat you.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Yeah, let's please not start from the beginning. So Kierna's like, well, I'm suing Debra. And Giselle goes, that's still a thing? And she goes, yeah, it's still a thing. It's a thing for me. It's always gonna be a thing for me until I finish suing her. And so she's like, listen, this is part of my healing process. It's a scar that I live with in some form for the rest of my life.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Now, I don't care how amazing it looks. It's still there.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So then she goes into her whole thing. We couldn't locate my children. Gordon wasn't answering the phone.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And they're like, wow, that's crazy. And Karen's like, you knew this whole time you were with us? And she's like, well, now he's taken a flight and gone to Martha's Vineyard for the weekend. And so she was like, it took everything. Yeah, I knew. Yeah, Jack was like, I knew, guys, because I'm really close with Mia.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So she's like, well, now I've spoken with the kids and they're good and they're in bed now. And so Wendy's like, Mia, I'll be honest with you. You know, I think you're a big girl and you can handle yourself. But at this point is your friend. Well, I really hate your guts and hope that you die in a fire. But seriously, my concern is your children.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Not really, but it's a good reason to give you shit. And I don't think you're doing what's best for them. And I don't think being around. No, I know what you think you're doing what's best for them. But I don't know that they should be around in this moment. I don't think him being around in this moment is what's best for that.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Meaning Gordon, like if Gordon is as dangerous as you're saying he is, stop leaving the kids with Gordon, right? Yeah.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Yeah, she has full custody, but still she didn't know that Gordon was going to come take the kids. So in order to keep him from doing that, he still has rights as their father. So I guess she would have to get a restraining order or something. I don't know.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So basically, Karen's like, well, I was in the same situation and I showed up with a cop and I had them meet me where my child was and it sent a clear message. And then the cop took off his shirt and kissed me. The cop was named Blue Eyes. It's a romantic story, but it's also a story about calling cops if they take off their shirts and you're dating them. Otherwise, don't bother with them.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
They'll just lie about you and make videos of you pretending that you're doing nasty things when all you're trying to do is explain that you're Thomas Jefferson's concubine.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So Mia's like, well, I don't have an answer for this. And Giselle's like, well, Mia, I want my kids to be in a safe space too. And it's like, oh God, okay, well, here we go with this thing. So then they have nothing going on. So she's like, okay, well, Karen told me you doubled down on going after my children. And Somi is like, I apologize to you off camera, but I did apologize to you.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And she's like, which is strange. It's like if you really meant an apology, you would have done it at the table. You would have done it at the table. It doesn't count if it's not on camera. Everybody knows that. Duh.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Yeah, because, yeah, you're getting on a microphone. You're invalidating your own stories over and over again, Mia. And they're all tiptoeing around it because she's cloaked herself in the victim cloak, right? She said that she's in danger, or her kids are in danger, so they can't fully come after her. But basically, they're like, you're a compulsive liar. What gives, is the question.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
What are you even saying? Or why are you talking like this?
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Yeah, what are you even talking about? So then Jacqueline's like, I know you're all concerned, but let me tell you, as somebody who knows Mia better than everybody in the world, Mia is my friend and Mia loves me more than anybody here. So are there any other questions? And she's like, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So there you go. And speaking of, The Traders is coming back this week. We've got so many shows on our docket right now. We're already not covering some things on Bravo, so we're not going to be able to keep up with everything. However, we are going to start with The Traders over on Patreon.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Gordon's in mania. And then 24 hours later. I'm with Gordon right now. Then 24 hours later. Mania came to get me last night. So then flashback. So then we see a flashback to 2022 when Mia had the almost cancer. Do you remember that? I forgot that Mia was one of the almost cancer storylines on Bravo.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Well, the only person who should be wearing 613 is Karen. Mia, you're a goddess. And it's a brunette. I'm sorry. But Ashley, girl, no. Yeah.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Um, and we'll have a, a, a two-part cast preview coming out, uh, later this week, which is going to be super fun. Um, and for everything else, I mean, I don't know, we're going to do it for as long as we can do it. Then we'll know something later. Okay. But we're going to, we're going to keep up with as much as we possibly can. Cause it's so good. It's an embarrassment of riches.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Yeah, so Giselle's like trying to come for her for being a stripper. I mean, listen, Mia's the easiest person to come for, Giselle. Why are you having so much trouble? This was a huge fail on Giselle's part. This was bad. So then Karen's like, well, I think that Mia would agree that she got some work to do in the repair area of some relationships in this group. But it's not unforgivable, you know?
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I mean, listen, have I forgiven the squirrel that ran in front of my car? And it caused me so much embarrassment in the press. Yes, I've forgiven the squirrel. Okay, with a little blonde 613 wig. Squirt off into oblivion.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Yeah, and I don't like this kind of language on a Housewives show, okay? Can we get this fucking modern language out of Housewives?
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
What the fuck is this? This is Housewives. This is not the modern social world. I don't want to hear everybody's feelings are fucking valid. No, they're not. And that's a lie anyway. It's one of the biggest lies we tell each other in modern times is everybody's feelings are valid. No, they're not. Some feelings are stupid, okay? Ronnie, I just want you to know.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Thank you. Thank you so much. All right, everybody. It's over. We've canceled the show. No, I'm just kidding. It's over. Thanks for being with us on Potomac Day. Go get your tickets for the Golden Crappy Awards coming up. A star-studded event on Broadway. February 1st. Also, we start the tour the weekend before that in San Francisco and San Diego. And the weekend following that in San...
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Oh, Salt Lake City and San Diego. No, Salt Lake City and Denver. Which is like cousins with San Diego, wouldn't you say? It's like winter cousins. They're like similar. They've got a lot of like mountain guys and Berks, you know? Anyway, the point is, guys, we love you. Can't wait to see you. You're going to be able to vote for your Crappies nomination soon.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So check our social media at Instagram dot com. The votes voting begins right now. Right, Ben?
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
It's amazing. So go vote. Vote for your faves for round one, and let's get it moving, shall we, guys? We sure love you. We'll talk to you next time.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I don't know. Up and down. Up and down, up and down. Potomac is having, Potomac is suffering from this. They all realize Mia is so full of shit that they don't even know what to do anymore. They don't want to play with her, but they have to. And the rest of them are just kind of checking out. Giselle is on her. I have to be nice season. So she's like sticking with that.
Watch What Crappens
#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Karen's just behaving herself because, you know, she's a fall down drunk because we've all seen from that that drunken video of hers that came out last week where she proclaims to be Thomas Jefferson's concubine, et cetera, et cetera. And, you know, we've got some great newbies go. We've got a lot. It's been a good season. It's been a good season. It's much better than last.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
It's faltering, and it's one of those seasons that's like, don't end. Just end. Why do you guys feel the need to keep going? You've got nothing. You know you've got nothing. End on a high note, okay? End it. What is this, episode 13? Next week's going to be episode 14. When they said next time, I was like, no, next time credits. Credits. Next time, three-part reunion.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Book now at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Yes. So, um, we start with me. We're in Panama. Okay. This episode is number 13. It's called rum bowl in the jungle. Cause I have rum. Okay. That's good. I like that. And we're with me and Jacqueline and they have just found out that Gordon dropped the kids off four hours away from home.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So Mia's on FaceTime with her mom, Veronica, you know, who, by the way, Mia has spent her entire career on this show, making us not trust her mom. Yeah. So I don't know why her mom's like the bastion of trust now, but she is.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
And this is because she tells us that Gordon didn't want, we don't know why actually, but Gordon went and picked up their kids and then took them to a different, she told us that Gordon took the kids to a different babysitter's house four hours away.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
and um uh yeah that sucks but i've also seen just mia full of this entire time so i'm not really sure what she's i'm not sure what she's saying because last time she said he took her to a babysitter four hours away unless i misheard it in the last episode and we didn't recap it so i don't even have notes for it but from what i remember she said he took it to a different babysitter four hours away but now she's saying we have no idea where where the kids are and he's not answering and stuff like that
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So I don't know if it was a fight about like, he didn't want the kids to be left with somebody he doesn't know. He wants this other babysitter. I don't know what it is, but crazy be crazy. Mania be mania-ing, as you said. And so there, now it's the search for the children, right?
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
No better way to do that than a nice new piece of beautiful furniture.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So she's saying, we see a flashback to yesterday on the sprinter where she's telling, she's saying, Gordon, for some reason, doesn't believe that I'm really on this trip with you guys.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Yeah, Jacqueline really is. Jacqueline sounds kind of like an abusive husband in a Lifetime movie sometimes. Like, she has a lot of the same lines. Like, no one else understands, but I understand. No one else gets it, but I get it. Nobody gets you but me. Just stay in mama's arms.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So then she, Jacqueline's calling somebody and then Mia's like, well, I just want to confirm the kids are with bleep. Okay, your kids are with the C word. I mean, what are we calling our nannies these days? Who knows what she said under the bleep. I'm assuming it was their name, but I just always hear the C word now.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
Okay, well, see, this is why I'm like, what is going on on this show? Because the person who answers the phone is like, yeah, like, you know this. Why are you calling me? You know, it sounded like, why are you even bothering me with this bullshit when you know what's going on? And, you know, obviously at this point, I don't have a ton of trust for Mia.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
So I'm just kind of rolling my eyes now because I don't believe her.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I just did my place all mid-century modern, and I got the most beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I wouldn't doubt it. I don't think that because it's not even worth the making up conspiracy theories. But it seems like she's being histrionic and does. And I don't I'm just not buying it. I just don't believe her anymore. You know, and that's the sad thing. Crying wolf guys, crying wolf. OK, it's a story for a reason. A little girl got eaten by a wolf, I think, in the end.
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#2676 RHOP S09E13: Panama Wack
I don't even know the ending of The Boy Who Cried Wolf, because The Boy Cried Wolf, so many times in the story, I got bored and stopped listening. So I don't even know the end. That's the thing. Like, you cry wolf too many times, and I start saying that A Boy Who Cried Wolf only deserves 12 episodes. And then it happens.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Yeah, the fact that she was in that corset, and he's sitting there trying to unknot these ties in the back, and she's just walking into a different room, and he's having to follow her. I was like, this is the definition of what we guys have to go through sometimes. Yeah. So, meanwhile, this is also why they let Mia go.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
They're like, okay, we're going to let Mia go so we can free up that camera and get that footage.
Watch What Crappens
#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
They're like, Sue, come over here with an iPhone, film Mia. Okay, we're taking the big camera back into the control room.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So Wendy is like, you have called this man repeatedly your best friend. He's my best friend. That's not a best friend. Your best friend is not going to lie on you. So he's telling the truth. And he says he wants his money. You're in arrears. And so Stacy's like, it doesn't matter how many times you say it, Wendy. You're in arrears. I want to see it. I want to see it. You're in arrears.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
You're in arrears. She keeps saying you're in arrears. You owe her money.
Watch What Crappens
#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Well, the control room's not going to lie to me. And Kiernan's like, how much did you pay? Okay, hold on, hold on. Control room, is there technically a way for us to show this to her? And he's like, no, not at the moment. Later? Okay, great. We're going to tease this out. Because, by the way, they could have just edited this and gone right to it. But they're like, wait a second.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
We just realized we have our third hour here. So now they're going to give us every beat of this moment.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
She had to make like a little map, a little map on a napkin. So Wendy is like, Stacy, stop while you're ahead of it. That's all I'm going to say, stop. And Giselle's like, you busted legs wide open, honey. So Stacy's like, can I ask a question? Why on earth would I sit here and say, like, less than an hour ago, he's one of the best people that I know.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And Giselle's like, because it falls in line with everything else, sir. But I say that he's one of the best people that I know because he is. And this was just completely unexpected. It just was not part of the contract that he was ever going to bring this up on camera.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
That's probably why she doesn't want to call him because it's like if she is paying him, it's like, okay, you get X amount per episode. And if she calls him, that means he gets to say this is part of an episode.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
does that vindicate karen none of this vindicates karen care enough but keep trying well because karen turned on stacy in the final like final two episodes so that would be the vindication so um so andy's like all right here comes eddie so eddie gets first chair because they still haven't bothered to move wendy and stacy and jacqueline down the sofa so there's been a gap this whole time so eddie gets first chair and everyone's like eddie yay he's like all
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
All right, Eddie, come have a seat. He's like, whoa, wow, why am I here? He's like, Eddie, have a seat. You seem certainly happy. Ha, ha.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Um, I mean, I think walking out of a reunion is probably frowned upon. It's a it's definitely a diva move. I don't know. I don't know. I'm sure she'll be back. But she will probably receive a reprimand. She'll probably maybe she'll be on promotion, promotion, probation. Maybe she'll get demoted to friend of I'm not sure. I don't know. What do you think? Yeah.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So, Stacy's like, I pay him to be my best friend. And Stacy's like, and I owe him money?
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
He's like, yeah, in a nutshell, basically. And Jacqueline goes, well, that's not very Christian-like. Okay, Jacqueline. Which is true, though, because TJ is purportedly this super Christian. Look, if he's being paid to play a character, then maybe he's not very Christian. But it seems like he is being very Christian, and so that is not very Christian-like.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Yeah, you seemed really very happy to take that opportunity to be a bartender. Okay, Mr. Shear. So then Eddie's basically saying that he didn't get the details. So Andy's like, well, did he say she owes him money? Or did he say she owes him money for appearing on the show with him? Does he accept Venmo? Or is it Zell? How does this work? And so Eddie's like, I really, I don't know.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
I don't have any more answers. Okay. All right. I have a question. What kind of shirt was he wearing in the FaceTime? Because that may inflect – if he has a nice shirt, that shows that he may have money, so we know he's getting baby bites. He's like, I don't have any more details. I can't give you any more details about this.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
When you guys go out to dinner, are you like, we'll split it, but I'll take care of the tip. Is that what we're talking about here? What's the degree here of the payment?
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
not true wendy but why would he lie to eddie because by the way guys also lie about shit to protect their fragile egos all the time just watch southern charm that's currently airing and you'll see men lying to themselves about reality so uh kieran has basically she's like uh so you're saying that tj is lying and she's like i'm not saying that eddie is lying i'm
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
I'm just saying whatever this is, I don't believe it. I'm saying that TJ is hurt and he's not here and we are not together. And you know who else is not here? Arabella. And she is going to be the one who gets hurt the most.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Yeah. Well, did he tell you that I paid him to be on the show? Because Andy asked you that question just a moment ago and your answer was yes. So then Eddie's phone rings and they're like, oh my God, it's funny. We're going to include every single detail of this. So then Eddie's like, no, I don't. He basically is like, he just told me that you paid him to be on the show.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And she goes, well, that's not what you said five minutes ago. He's like, five minutes ago, I said the exact same thing. He's like, look, I wasn't calling to be messy with him. I was just going to say, bro, where are you?
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And the thing is, they didn't really need her for the rest of the reunion. It was kind of amusing to me how little of an impact it made that she walked out. No one seemed to care. No one was shocked when it was announced that she was gone. It was met with a shrug. So I think that says volumes about your place on the show. Yeah.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
No, like, well, Bill, you know, because, like, if you're saying that you don't take our word, and then the only person who will take is his, and he's like, yeah, why not call him right now? This could be television magic. Call him. Call him. And Stacey's like, I am not calling him. But your character's in question? Nah. She's like, well, if that's you. He's like, okay, all right, all right.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
We're just going to leave it there. Can you, can we all give Eddie Asifo a round of applause?
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Now, when you go back into your dressing room, here is a Kit Kat wrapper. I've crushed it up into a ball. Could you throw it at Greg's face and say, ha, ha, no TV time for you?
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And let me tell you one thing, Ashley Darby. Let me say it so that you can hear me. I didn't need TJ to get on this platform or any person because I could have been like Karen Huger and just gotten a DUI instead.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
She's like, I don't care. Well, you could squash it very quickly if you called him. She's like, well, I'm sure that I could just call him for everyone's benefit here. They're like, no, it's for your benefit.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Listen, I'm just saying that as your friend who loves you, okay, if you come back to this group and you bring up this topic again and you say it never happened or TJ cleared it up, understand none of these women, nobody's going to believe you and your character and who you are will always be questioned because you had the opportunity cleared up and you didn't take it.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And I say that with love and I'm not bullying you. I'm just reminding you that you're being a total idiot right now on TV.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So they bring out the phone. By the way, I just want to say, Mia has left the building. Does anyone care? No. Okay, great. Thanks, everyone.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Andy just has to scoot them all over to get them in position. And Andy is so excited because normally he would be like, can we get someone in here to help her move next to me? Because he's not going to move, but he's like, this is a moment. I'm so excited. I want to sit right next to her. I want to hear her, feel her breath on my shoulders as she gasps, as she watches this.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
She only had first seat, by the way, because Karen wasn't went to rehab. There's no way that Mia's getting the first seat anyway. So if she's thinking that she's made it in some way, that she's now a star of the show because she has that, she's sorely mistaken.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So he like, he gets right in there, you know? So, and he's like, okay, here we go. Here we go. Are you ready to watch? Okay. So, she's like, okay, well, this is just a shirtless man with a large dick. Wasn't this guy behind your bar? But the other day, oh, sorry, we're on Grindr. Let me move on. Okay, here we go. Here's the video.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
It's also, like, such a douchey thing to do. Like, it's so, like, even if it's true, it's so douchey. And he's also totally, like, his code switching between bro and, like, Stacy's boyfriend is so obnoxious. I mean, we all code switch around different people. Like, I definitely act gayer when I'm around the gays. I act a little bit more bro-y when I'm around bros.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
You know, people do it based on different groups. So I get it. People do that. But this code switching between bro and, like, TJ that we've seen is, like, it just... It goes beyond code switching. It just goes into fakery. It is no longer in the realm of code switching. This is just someone who is putting on a front.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And this just reads like a guy who's just trying to impress the bros and trying to be like, yo, fuck that bitch. Am I right, bros? Like, she's fucking paying me, right? Hey, bro, fuck that show. I'm a bro. I'm just like, oh, gosh. Just go away forever, TJ.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And he's like, well, you heard him say it. I absolutely heard him say that. And I can't believe that my ears are betraying me in this way. I have to see a doctor because there's just no way he would ever say it. So at this point, it's my eardrums.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Well, I'm just saying, I always got to clear my husband's name. You know what I mean? She's like, well, I just feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me. I don't even know what to say. Well, so is TJ going to have any Venmo-zel receipts? Because once he puts those on Instagram, especially once this airs, what's going to happen? And everyone's like, yeah, the receipts are coming.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
She's like, but I never paid him at any capacity. Oh, really? Have you promised to pay him? Never. I'm so easy to have text messages, babe. They're all kind of like, hey, we've been down this path before. This is your first time, but we know you're taking a stance now, but there will be receipts that come back to hit you if you're lying. So this is your chance to get ahead of it.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Yeah, I mean, she is. I mean, even if she winds up lying, she is owed the benefit of the doubt over TJ. And it was funny because I think we all thought she was going to say, you know, you guys were always coming down on TJ. And in the end, it turns out you're right. He is a piece of shit. We all thought that's what she was going to say, but instead it was.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
It wasn't wrong what she said, saying you guys all came down on him, but then, you know, when it's his word versus mine, you take his side. It's also an equally fair thing to say. So Stacey's just saying, like, I can't clear up something I can't make sense of. So anyway, we...
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Yeah, I'm wearing a corset. It's a t-shirt corset. It's a new invention I created.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
we go to a flashback of Wendy just trying to, again, hammer it through her head that like, if you say nothing, if you say nothing happened, like we're going to think you're a liar. Something does happen, you know? So like, this is like your chance. She's like, look, I do not look crazy and I can't clear up something that I can't explain. I can't explain this.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
It's just not true! All right. Well, earlier this year, a car accident and DUI arrest left Karen injured and Potomac shaken. And while Karen was tight-lipped about her ongoing legal situation, she was very open to putting other people's business on blast. Well, guess what?
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Now she's been found guilty of drunk driving, and instead of answering for her behavior today, she went to a recovery center, which we all support, even though she's totally not answering for her behavior. but we totally support the recovery center. Just had to say that part once again.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Yeah, so she's in her dress room being like, oh, you guys, get me out.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
The Tally Ho waiter. Character without a Tally Ho. So we see all. So we see this lengthy segment, because they're basically like, look, we edited together this segment, and we're going to air it, even if Karen's not here, okay? We're going to make sure that this happens, because it is very, very lengthy. I'm actually scrolling through it quite a bit. It really is.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So then back on the set, Andy has basically alerted them that the husbands will not be coming out on the set. Because the only husbands who've shown up are Eddie and Greg. There's no need for Eddie.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
I'm scrolling through it right now like, damn. Okay, back to set.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Well, Karen's case is now closed and the verdict has been decided as of this taping. Her sentencing won't be known for another few weeks. But while Karen isn't here, there's still a lot of questions that viewers had that should be discussed.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So, for instance, Graham from Cracker said, We saw Karen deny having a drinking problem and abstaining from drinking on camera, but has her drinking been alluded to through a lot of series? Has anyone here seen this side of Karen? What I'm trying to say is, is she an alcoholic and you back me up?
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And she's like, well, she- Or seen this before.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
I was going to say, Jacqueline, you received the most anger from Karen because you referenced her drinking. And we see Jacqueline getting it. How did you feel after watching this back? She goes, thank you for finally asking me a question. I've been on this sofa for about an episode and a half.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So to be very crystal clear, I mean, I don't want to be too heavy with this, so I guess I'll be crystal light. Mia threw me under the bus and talked about our private conversation. So this is really Mia's fault why Karen was mad at me. Yeah. And they're like, okay, come on, Jacqueline. You did say it, though.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
on the reunion at this point as it turns out and then no one cares about greg so they clearly nixed the husband thing which is funny because greg was bitching and moaning last episode that he could have been gallivanting around manhattan and said he had to show up at nbc to shoot a reunion god forbid Yeah.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And then it was like, but then at first I came there to be shady, but then it actually became a beautiful thing. Okay, wait, so you were trying to be shady? She's like, no, no, it was going to be a lovely moment. So we see a flashback of that. And she says, well, I just, I felt like that was really dirty work of Karen. However, I switched things up. I wanted it to be positive. All right.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
But by the way, did she wind up suing you for ruining the environment? Yeah. Now, that's a court case I would like to see on TV.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
She's like, you know, a real friend would have helped me promote my social work. She should have entered our 12-step program. I had a polo shirt ready for her. A free polo shirt for Karen Huger. And he's like, okay, well, why do you guys all think Karen decided to take this case to trial?
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
It's literally like Faye Dunaway on that voicemail where she was like... yelling at the reporter for writing a bad profile of her in the New York Times or something. She's like, what about me? You know, I was in, I was in, you know, I was in Jaws 45. I was excellent at that. I mean, that's Karen Huger is basically like Bravo's version of Faye Dunaway.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
It's not an exact quote, but, you know, Faye put away.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Everyone's like, yeah, how could you not take that? Wendy's like, I would bedazzle my little ankle bracelet in style. And she'd probably make all her kids wear, like, a matching ankle bracelet, because that's what she does. So Giselle's like, well, now her lawyer did not tell me this. I just want to put that out there. I did not hear from the lawyer. I want that out there.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
But I just heard it credibly through someone named Schmarinna. And he's like, all right, well, something that probably didn't age too well for Karen was when she said clankety-clank. And as proof that didn't age well... Let's play that!
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Yeah, so then Ashley said she got called by a journalist, you know, Diane Sawyer called up and was like, hey, we heard there was another man in the car. And so Ashley's thinking like, this is interesting, because it's like, now a journalist heard this too. But where do you think the journalist heard it from? Karen, probably like, this doesn't validate anything.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So Andy's like, okay, all right, well, that's fun. Fast Casual from Culver City said, the biggest mystery is where was Karen before the accident? She said she was getting drinks with her girlfriends, but no girlfriends came forward and testified. So Giselle's like, says that she thinks that Karen was at a restaurant four minutes from the house.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And, you know, Andy's like, God, but it's so easy to get an Uber. It's so easy. And so Wendy's like, I'm not gonna say anything. I'm not gonna say anything. I'm not gonna say anything. Nevermind. I'm not gonna say anything.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Stacey's like, show me the footage. Wait, real quickly, before we press play, Stacey, you want to call DJ? No? Then I'll try. Hey, Stacey. All right, let's play the footage.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Yeah. And Stacy's like, yes, Paul, because we're no longer together. And Wendy's like, are you sure? Yes. I didn't want him to come. Well, Eddie is here. And Eddie, as you mentioned earlier, Eddie and TJ talk. And Eddie actually FaceTimed with TJ to see why he's not here. And TJ let Eddie know that you actually paid him to be your love interest on this season.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
How is this guy a psychologist or a psychiatrist? He has such small dick energy. I mean, the fact, again, that he challenged the NFL player to a push-up contest. I mean, ugh. He's been the worst since the beginning of that show. He is. I can't believe he did a slog. Also, do laws not assault? Do laws about assault and battery even qualify if it happened in a foreign country?
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Because they were in a foreign country, right? Aren't they in the Bahamas or Jamaica? They're in the Caribbean. They're not in America. You can't press charges about an assault that happened in a different country. I don't think. I mean, I could be wrong. Especially when the assault didn't happen. Come on, Dr. Gregory. Jeez, that guy is the worst. He is the worst.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Yeah, no, I didn't watch it because I was watching the Oscars.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Mm-hmm. And Ray's like, oh, you actually look pretty good. She's like, oh, thank you. Thank you. You're very funny. And he's like, well, you look better than you probably feel at the moment, right? That was the line I was trying to feed you. Oh, yes. Well, I look good to cover how badly I feel. Thank you, Ray, for reminding me what my line was supposed to be.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Well, he's like, well, it is what it is. I know. I think, you know, dots are being connected for me. You know, I didn't watch the tapes before the trial, and I'm realizing... That if you watch tapes, you can see dots. And if you see dots, you can see lines. And if you see lines, you don't cross them and you don't wind up across the median. So it all makes sense to me now.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Who cares? And honestly, I can understand if she doesn't want to see it. It's too embarrassing for her. But I think that he should have watched it. He should have been like, okay, it's too uncomfortable for her. I'm going to watch as someone who cares about the protection of my wife and her future. I am going to watch. He's like an executive or he was an executive.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
He should be able to handle this. He watched it too. He watched it too.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
I didn't want you to watch it because I know you would have told me about it.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And TJ also told Eddie that you told him not to come. And TJ also said, run him his money because the money is not adding up. And TJ also said, look for him on this week's episode of The Pit in the background, the nurse that's waving at the camera.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
I think you're mixing up the substance with your DUI video. Well, so be it.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
You had no idea that they had built a median and changed the road at 90 degrees.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So Karen's like, well, yes, I mean, there's new construction, but you know what? It's my fault. I take full accountability for this thing that I didn't do. And I need to tell you something. Self-medicating is one thing, but I started doing that seven years ago when mom and dad died. And so when I started drinking, started taking antidepressants in alcohol form, it was fine. It would help.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
But then I needed more and more. And as life kept on lifing, and so instead of going back to the doctor, I adjusted my medication, so it's not my fault. It's medicine's fault. Thank you.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Well, this is what she's trying to say is this. Okay. I drove drunk. I admit I drove drunk, but I don't want to say I have a drinking problem because when I get out of jail, I still want to drink. I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say it was the meds. So that way I'm not committed on camera to saying that I have a drinking problem and then people will get on me when I drink a martini.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
I'm just going to say it was the meds and that way I can have fun when I get back and I will take Ubers the rest of the way.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So, then Ray's like, you know, people don't realize that I want you to have drivers. I mean, when you had a DY, when was that again? 13 years ago? So long ago. We basically shouldn't even consider it anymore. And that's when we said, no more drinking and driving. And I guess you feel especially bad about it now that you've been there and done that. You learned a lesson.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
I just want to say what's really funny is that at the beginning of the reunion when Karen did her video, they were pretending to cry. They feel so bad for Karen. They're like, this is so good. It's so good that she's finally doing this. Because they can't say, okay, this is bullshit. She's just trying to get out of being at the reunion. They kind of get there.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
But at first, they're like, no, we're really happy for Karen. But now they're just like, okay, fuck this bitch. She's fake. She's not taking accountability. This all is like a PR stunt. Their true feelings about this entire situation have finally come out.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
She's like, what happened to me? I don't want that to ever happen to me again. Yeah. I'm like, it didn't happen to you. You did it. This was not something, that wasn't like a tree fell down on your car and sent you across that median. You drove drunk.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
It wasn't my fault that someone... It was my fault. It was my fault that I did this. It's my fault that I let someone self-medicate me. And unfortunately, these are the consequences of me allowing someone else to do this to me.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So I'm just like, all right, thoughts, everyone. And now she's like, well, they covered all the bases. I said, what did you see? Well, like Ashley said, they were trying to cover all the points that they think we're going to question. That wasn't accountability. Not to me. I don't know what that was. You need to scrap that. Take that out. Do her some favors.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
He said it was the legal seafood. Karen would go to legal seafood and get wasted. That is the funniest thing I ever heard. Just her sitting there in front of the chocolate volcano cake they have and just like getting wasted on some sort of like crab martini. Yeah.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Yeah. Gosh, it's hard. First of all, I thought it was going to be the birth of a new controversy. I did not think we were going to go back to Kenya and Walter, but we did, and it's fine. TJ, I don't know. I don't believe anything TJ says. I think it's... I think TJ has more of a motivation to lie than, um, than Stacy does. I think TJ was humiliated on TV because everyone made fun of him.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Well, this legal seafood waiter has clearly left the service industry behind, and he's going to tell all. He is like the Kitty Carlisle, whatever her name was, who would write the tell-all books. He's like, everything you wanted to know about legal seafood, but were too afraid to ask.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
What we know for sure is that a legal counsel knows because they submitted an appeal to have that footage thrown away. It's like, well, at our sentencing is just in a few weeks. How do we think this is going to pan out for her? Do you think it's going to be funny? Is it going to be sexy? Well, the judge have new boobs. We need to know the answers. Judge objection to her new boobs.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Someone messaged us and said, you know, last week we were saying that she's going to go to like a Martha Stewart kind of thing, Camp Cupcake or where Teresa Giudice went. But those were like for federal crimes. And Karen is actually going to be going to a county jail, which is much rougher. And it's going to be a doozy for her. That's for sure. I mean, she's already there.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Karen Huger is in jail right now. It's wild. Crazy.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Still I rise. You'll see. You'll see. And Andy goes, well, speaking of Maya Angelou, we lost Mia Angelou earlier tonight. And everyone's like, oh God, like don't put Maya and Mia together. So Giselle's like, well, I think it's whack. Just like TJ called Stacy. And I think, you know, Wendy said, we've all done nonsense and craziness and we all come through and we all deal with it.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And you don't run out. Not only do you not run out, you run out the building. Yeah.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
I'm like, oh, geez. They're like, yeah, but she's the easiest to clock. That's like walking into a Swatch store and being like, I think there's watches in here. It's like, yeah, she's easy to clock. So we see flashback to that, et cetera. And so now Stacey's like... Wendy always knew. All right. Well, listen, it's been quite a year of ups and downs, trials and tribulations.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
But I stand by the fact that this group has come a long way and was incredible season. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's over. And so I was like, oh, let's make a shot. Good.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
He looked like an idiot. He sounds like an idiot. He was an idiot. And, um, I think then he, I think that TJ also was riding the Stacy train to get onto TV. And then when she said, you know what? I don't think I like you anymore. Cause like, um, I think you're shitty. Uh, he realizes his path to fame has been destroyed. And the narcissist that he is, cause we all know that he's a narcissist.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Yeah. They didn't even hand out some sort of like gag or like, like Panama hats or whatever, like anything. So yeah, that was it. Um, the last hour was, it was kind of a goofy hour. I actually kind of liked how kind of freewheeling and sort of silly and stupid it was. Um, But yeah, I was done. Honestly, I'm happy with this season.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
I think it was a good like it showed this show still has a lot of life left in it after last last year's like tragic, terrible season. I think overall, the season was very entertaining, despite like a lull in the middle. And I'm excited for next year.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Bye. Watch what crap ends. Would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley auto.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Jamie, she has no less name-y. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Mannock's door. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
the bay area betches betches and our super premium sponsors she's vvip it's amanda v somebody get us 10 cc's of betsy md she's got a leg up it's beth annie we're taking the gold with brenda silva let's get real with caitlyn o'neill don't get salty with christine pepper can't have a meal without the emily sides
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Know your worth with Jason Couric. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony, Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lola Alcalani.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Give him hell, Miss Noelle. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
We all, we can see this, right? He is gonna now he's going to retaliate. And I think that actually is like, it's totally viable that he's lying. And he's just saying, you know, he's going to say this to cover it, to, to clean up his reputation. Like everything you saw was fake. I was paid. I was paid to do all this. I'm actually a different kind of guy. Um, Well, congratulations.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And he also shows he's a bad business partner because he now has – he's complained. Because, by the way, the season's not over. And I feel like if there was an arrangement, then he should have – I'm sure the arrangement – I don't know. I'm going to defend her even if she did pay him. But I would not be surprised at – is if he, being the asshole that he is, is like, well, I'll come on the show.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
If she says, I would love it if you come on the show with me.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
and he's like well but you're getting you're getting paid to do this and like i'm getting nothing for this and she says fine i'll give you a cut or something like that like i'll throw you something as compensation for your time and your energy um not like hey let's i'm going to hire you to be my boyfriend it's like i'll i'll kick something back at you because you are taking time out of your day you're not doing auditions you're you're doing you're shooting a scene with me i mean she shouldn't have to do that but i would not be surprised if she did that fair and stuff
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Right, which is why she was hesitant to call him up because she's like, I don't know how he's going to ding me because there are some gray areas. I would not be surprised if that were the case. But it doesn't matter because even if she does fully pay him, if she has paid him, I'm going to defend her. Because if she has been paying him, I think that's great because I love that Stacey is –
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
How are you? Good. What's going on with you today? You know, starting a brand new week, fresh start. And just, you know, it's our first episode of March. So that's exciting. What's going on with you? Big things happening. Big, big things.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
playing the role of this woman who is easily clutching her pearls, but then at the same time is doing something ridiculous and shady. I love that. I love that in my Real Housewives.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Now, at first, I was thinking to myself, okay, TJ, well, the reunion has just aired. Are you going to show the receipts if this happened? Where are the receipts? But knowing him, he's probably trying to peddle it into an article for us or people because that's just what he's – that's what people like him are like. But yeah, you are complicit in this, sir. If she paid you –
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
You accepted the payment as well. Like, just know that you can you can get mad at her being like, oh, she begged me to be on the show. You accepted the position and you accepted the position because you probably had some sort of friendship with her or whatever.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And obviously you were shitty because if you did have a friendship with her, that's shitty that you accepted payment from her to be on her show instead of helping her out.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
And now he's going to play. And now what he's going to do is he's going to say, well, she should be thanking me because because of this, I gave her a storyline for next season. You know, he's going to do that. He's just a piece of shit.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
You owe him back money for pretending to be a boyfriend. Stacey's like, let me say this right now. Okay. Let me say it. And so she's going into like, she's doing quiet panic and Giselle's like, Oh, so we're pretending. I absolutely do not believe anything that you're saying. TJ would never say that. Um, which is sort of a funny thing.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Like it's funny that her first response is not, I never paid him. Her first response is TJ would never say that. Right. That I did think was a little strange. Um,
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
Exactly. She doesn't want to commit to saying, I never paid him. She just wants to commit to saying he would never say that. So now, of course, but I mean, look, it's the same thing.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So Wendy's like, TJ said that to Eddie on FaceTime, okay? They're going to run it, baby. They're going to run it. And Kieran's like, TJ was acting like a being an actor. And Eddie's like, control room, control room, do you have that on camera? Did that happen? Hold on, did that happen?
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
So Andy's like, okay, everyone, I just asked the control room, Stacy, if they have that on camera. And apparently it happened while we were here with Mia. She's basically like, it's going to come. He's like, and I have a feeling they're going to roll it in three, two, one. And then they all sit there and they're like, what's happening, Andy?
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
He's like, sorry, that was a cue for in the show and you're watching at home. Oh, well, we are ready to see it.
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#2746 RHOP S9E20 Reunion 3: Rent a Poor
because he's still an actor and he wants attention. So like, if he is being paid, he's like, excuse me, I read my sides for today. And this was not part of the script. Okay. I'm supposed to be by your side. That's what's in the sides all day long at this party. And you left me with Ray to talk about, you know, Commodore 64s. So he's like, that was not cool. I wasn't prepared for that.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
And, you know, in our country, we do it like this and it's cool to see that. But I think sometimes people lean too heavily on that identity
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
to for every little thing and i think that's what got her here where everything she made had to be so russian and so this and even when she left she was like i'm so glad i could prove russia can cook i was like did you but also why are you putting that kind of pressure on yourself and why are you putting that kind of pressure on me you know what i mean just make something good like if it has something to do with russia that's awesome but i'm not going to sit here and like jerk off to you because like you gave me more russia in my life like just make good food it's a chef show above all
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
So if you want to join Patreon and get stuff like that, plus our White Lotus recaps and Traders recaps and stuff like that, go over to patreon.com slash watch what crappens. It's also where you get video like today's. Hello. And you can see all the stuff we're talking about in Trailer Trash and some of these cast members and stuff like that. Because we are putting them up on the screen, okay?
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah, Russian ingredients ended up getting you kicked off. I do like that she launched something called Project Butterfly in San Fran, which is a catering venture dedicated to providing meals for charity fundraisers. And I just... So why are you putting people through that cabbage? You know what I mean? I know.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
All right, next up, we've got Paula Andara. Let's see.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Now, a couple of you never know. This is Top Chef. They do have people who are like, I'm a fringing. I just take stuff out of dumpsters and make whole meals out of them. That's my stick. It's like, get the fuck out of here. Okay. I had a Yoplait wrapper on my steak. Unacceptable.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
um so i didn't realize this about paula but she i guess maybe was she karen huger's executive chef was she like a private chef for karen huger because it says that she is the executive chef at grandam um now i think it's funny that she opened a place called roots in arkansas because you know how many ladies walk in there like i just do you have an appointment like ma'am this is a restaurant god damn it
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Guess what? Patreon. I mean, Watch What Crappens is also where you get ticket links to the shows in Philly, Washington, D.C., Boston, Massachusetts, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, Las Vegas. Those are all available on WatchWhatCrappens.com. Whoa.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
very confused people i wouldn't if this was a pre normally we do these cast roasts before the show is out and we know anything about these people i would guarantee that this is not a good chef because she's wearing earrings shaped like gongs from the gong show and that's a bad sign but she turned out to be pretty good so far she's okay well she was in the bottom this week because she made a ceviche and they were like
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah, but that's kind of where the judges get themselves in trouble too, right? Because she's like, well, yeah, because ceviche in Ecuador is more sauce. It's not just the fish. And so I thought that made the judges look kind of stupid because they're like... We want to have things like how they are from your country, but then she does it and they're like, nope, too much sauce.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
And she's like, what the hell? But her other thing this week was that she didn't have enough peanut. Like her special ingredient was peanut and she didn't put enough of it in there. So Tom's like, this would barely kill a child who's allergic to it on a plane.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
One thing Gail never gets to play, tonsil hockey. God bless her.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
So she has a passion for sustainability and all that blah, blah, blah stuff, which I think chefs have to say these days. I don't think people want a chef who's like, you know what I love? Corn syrup. Yeah.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah. One time my mom was showing me how to make a pecan pie. And I was like, corn syrup, use corn syrup. And she said, anybody who tells you you can substitute corn syrup for anything else and have it be half as good is lying to you and don't eat their food.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah. So Tristan Epps is next. I love this guy. He's from Virginia Beach. He's living in Houston now, and he works at Epps and Flo's Culinary, which is cute.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
yeah his mom was like you could smile a little bit he's like sorry i just woke up and then the stepdad comes on the camera and i was like how do both of these parents look younger than tristan that's crazy there's that too i was like what do they just spend date night moisturizing each other because they look like they're 20.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Most of these people are tied to celebrity chefs, which we've noticed for the past few years. But it's an interesting way to get in the top chef now. There's no just getting off your shift at Applebee's and auditioning. You know, you better work for fucking Marcus Samuelson, okay?
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
He's so dead-looking. Bobby Flay looks like he died 10 years ago, and he's animatronically moving. I don't even believe Bobby Flay. He looks like he's on Quaaludes or something. He's out to lunch.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
You know, he just looks up to lunch. Bobby Flay. I mean, he looks like I don't even know if he can clock himself in anymore. He's just I don't know. I don't like Bobby Flay. I don't like him setting himself up to always win on his show. You know.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
that's i don't know i feel like i feel like there's something shady there well that would have made me like him more getting january jones out of a dui you're not stop trying to make sure she deserved her dui i'm driving while inherently fabulous even though i can't act i love her um so tristan so he seems like he's pretty good so far um but again there's 90 million chefs and it's hard to tell but so far i like him
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
I like him a lot. He's so nice. Okay.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
oh okay yeah i was like who's she but she's from whistler um british columbia which i don't trust anyone from a town named whistler because that's just trying to imply happiness on my day like i don't want to be from a place like that you know no like i'm from el paso and that's very fitting for me because i'm always just kind of passing through you know i don't want a whistler get the out of here but she who knows she was born in beijing and she grew up in her family restaurant
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
And her love for family cooking was fostered by her grandmother. She moved to Ottawa, Canada to refine her skills. She worked at 18. I hate this restaurant. E number 18 and then H-T-E.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Me too. Terrible. so side door kitchen and north and navy um then she went to blue water cafe in vancouver and she helped launch elisa's steak as a sous chef she also worked for riley's fish and steak
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
So she specializes in French and Chinese inspired cuisine, utilizing local seasonal fare.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
I like it. I think the evolution of Top Chef has been a remarkable one. I think that people are so talented on this show now. It's so hard to pick sometimes who sucks because they're all really, really talented. I mean, wow. I mean, one of the guys who won one of the challenges last week, like a chicken sandwich or something, he's like, oh yeah, I've perfected this.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Also, she's going to be coming in. Doesn't she work at a place called Side Door? Can I just read that? Side door kitchen. Yeah, she's going to be coming in through the side door. I like how you're working, Ying. I like how you're working.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
All right, so then we get to Corwin Hemming. Wow, I never guessed this guy's name would have been Corwin Hemming. He doesn't seem like a Corwin Hemming.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
So if your steak seems to know its brand, that's why Korn made it. Okay. Yes. I love a secret pop-up chef. I'm never going to forget that when I'm watching him. He's a pop-up chef. They're like, wait, is that guy working on hashtags on it? No, he's cooking something. This is crazy.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Well, those beef patties were insane anyway. 90% of them weren't even closed. You know, they couldn't even get the suckers closed. Some of them were real disasters. Yeah. But apparently they tasted okay because the judges weren't as horrified yet. But the judges are still in that space where they're like, look how talented everyone is. Look, look.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Like they're not even mentioning that half the patties aren't closed, you know?
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
um so let's move on here next up we've got katiana hong so she's kind of my favorite right now yeah because she's got this simmering attitude of like i hope you all die she's got like this kind of low energy personality and she's extremely gorgeous and she's just kind of like she doesn't act better than everybody but she she's just got this attitude about her i don't know what how to describe it
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
It was named the best chicken sandwich in Chicago for like...
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Like she doesn't act like an asshole, but it's just like a very understated, like we all know I'm better than you.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
And she's like, why are you making me pose in front of a bunch of jarred food? You fucks. Because the backgrounds on this are different. They don't give them the solid background. They're doing some like, oh, look, it's a kitchen, but we're going to put the background in sepia and then just have you guys stand in front of it. She's like, why? Why am I standing in front of pepperoncinis? You fucks.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
five years and they they opened a james beard house just for me over this chicken sandwich so that's what i'm entering into the competition i mean part of me wishes that it was still like a caterer named betty and you know an ex applebee's chef going against right you know i kind of missed that element of it but for the most part it's pretty good i like it how are you feeling about it
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
This week she won both the quick fire and the main, right?
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
I don't remember who won the quick fire. She did win the main though, for sure. I think she won both of them in a row. So she was born in Korea, raised in upstate New York, American Hyde Park, UNLV. She got a job at two-star Michelin restaurant, Melisse. Who's jealous of Teresa and met her culinary partner and future husband, John.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
She moved to Napa and worked at a line chef at Christopher Costow's, the restaurant at Meadowood. I already hate the name of that restaurant. Because I feel like, don't you feel like the title says Christopher Costow's The Restaurant at Meadowood?
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Well, maybe it's not called that. I'm just kind of assuming it is because of how it's written. It just sounds like it would be because it's such a snotty top chef thing, right? Like, I work at Christopher Costow's, the restaurant at Meadowood. Maybe it's just the way the bio is written. Yeah, I think it's just the way the bio is written.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
But also the restaurant at Meadowood is just so up your own ass. You know what I mean? Like there's really no other restaurants. Come on.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Well, I made the mistake of pressing more on her bio, and it would take the entire recap to read this. This girl's done a lot. My God. Bon Appetit's top 50 best new restaurants list. Food and wine's best new chefs. Had a daughter. Who cares? She's like, I had a daughter. Put that in small letters.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Well, she's my favorite so far, but she does seem up her own ass. Listen to this. Thank you.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah. I agree. I don't like the whole making the quick fire not matter as much. It matters for their money, which is great. But yeah, I agree with you. I think that it adds an element of scariness when, you know, someone could do well on a quick fire and then be terrible in the main challenge, but they're saved by their earlier performance.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on your bravs. I'm Ronnie, and over there is the handsome and talented, gorgeous and thin, Ben Mandelker of the Ben Mandelker womb, of Carolyn Mandelker's womb, many years ago. Here he is with us today.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Once that's bred in you, it never leaves. So this Vincenzo guy seems a little like a douchebag, but he's been okay so far. He hasn't been the worst. I've been expecting him to throw people under the bus, you know, use people's oil on purpose, do stuff like that. But he has not done it yet. But I think he's going to. Yeah, I agree. I think we have an eye on him for sure.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah, but he's got a lot going on here. You know, I mean, we could spend 20 minutes reading all of this, but he's got a lot going on. He's got a restaurant. He works with Chef Tessier as chef de cuisine at Press Restaurant in Napa, where he's known for elevating local farm produce with precision and technique. Let me tell you, romaine has never been touched like this man has touched it.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
So yeah, I was big on California food, which California cuisine to me is just too, not to sound like Lisa Barlow, it's too fresh. It's just like, wow, here's some lettuce we grew in the backyard. You might've grown it in the backyard, it's still lettuce. Can you fry something? Fry something and send it out.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
yeah i think so too we're right now he's the ringer right he's kind of the guy yeah that we're being led to believe will win this whole thing so then we go to zubair mahajir zubair is really talented he's the one that was making that chicken sandwich that was like
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
He's like, I'm posing with a knife handle in my mouth because I'm Gagan.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah, Padma's like, welcome, Gargananand, to make asshole food. Just, like, be honest, you know?
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
All of these emojis have one thing in common. None of them want to date Gail.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
LOL. She's like circling this emoji. She's like crying, laughing. Okay. So, um, yeah, that's problematic. So he, um, he later worked at gig on in Bangkok. So he's really a good gone fan. So then he, he launched a pop-up called was one before opening his first brick and mortar in 2021, despite Lindsay's, um, complaints. And then he made it into.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
A two concept lilac tiger highlighting South Asian street food and the coach house is fine dining restaurant.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
So let's see. Let's see what Zubair ends up doing right now. He's coming up with, I think just cause he used that fried chicken recipe. I was like, okay, let's see how you do when you run out of your recipe, sir. You know, cause a lot of people come in with their things. So I'm like, we'll see in a few weeks how you're doing.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yes, he's very, like, shy, like, oh, my God, I'm thinking of doing it this way. And then he messed up something and got really angry. And I was like, Ooh, I like it. Let's see where his face goes.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
I'm guessing that they had so many situations where they really wanted to kick off the person that won the quick fire, that they were like, let's take that element out. But sorry, game makers, you can't just change game rules because I mean, you can obviously, cause you did, but you shouldn't just change game rules because you want to kick people off.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Well, it's funny that you say that, cause he was born in Chihuahua, which is fine because those are dogs that need little sweaters. Cause they're always shaky, but he was raised in Dallas and he, um, love the kitchen from an early age guys. Okay. He worked under Rick Bayless. Cause how else do you get on this show? You know, this show is really starting to get a little bit too, um, clicky for me.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
I don't like that. Everybody on the show has had to work for somebody who's been on this show before. That's not fair.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
He's done a lot of great stuff here. Actually, my goodness. He worked at Nopalito and Cochina Latina. And then he returned to Chicago, joining the staff of the fine dining restaurant Grace as a sous chef. where they earned three Michelin stars during his tenure.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
After three years, he climbed the culinary ladder and moved to sepia, which is coincidentally how all of these shots were done in the cast bios where he found his culinary voice.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah, I know. Well, this chef is really specializing in whatever's on sale at Target, and he's doing great. But a bunch of Michelin stars doing it. He says, when not hiking through nature, you can also catch Chef Cesar running along Lake Michigan training for the next marathon.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
I automatically like him because he's got like a one paragraph intro instead of like, he's not masturbating all over us, which is nice. But maybe he hasn't done much. I don't know. He's from a Dutch Nigerian household. He was Institute of Vancouver educated.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
After graduating, landed a job at Relais and Chateau in British Columbia, where he honed his skills in modern French and British vine dining for many, many years.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Um, but he is currently focused on launching a new concept with his business partners. Nothing else.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
I think he laughed and they were like, listen, if you don't give us a bio, we're going to have to get it from Wikipedia. Okay. He's gone.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Next up is Massimo, the loudest and most jovial of all chefs this season. Ha ha ha ha ha.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah, he's a lot. But he seems nice. Like, everybody likes him. He's a jovial fella. And he's worked with Daniel Bouloud, of course, and René Redzepi in Copenhagen. And then he returned to Montreal to join Le Mousseau as an executive chef. And now he has his own fine dining restaurant called Cabaret L'Enfer.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
What are you going to do? So, he focuses on, let's see, showcases his bold cooking style, celebrating local season ingredients, hospitality, and the arts.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah. Well, as far as the Kristen thing, you know, I felt like this last year too, like I can't blame, you can't blame Kristen for not being Padma. You know, I feel like we're stepchildren in a way where we're like, you're not my mommy. And, uh, she's not, but I think she does a great job.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Did they mean muffins, like actual muffins, like the baked good?
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Oh, because he was talking about muffin like it was some separate kind of ingredient thing. Like a concept. Yeah, there are so many different kinds of muffins. What do you mean you're going to make it taste like a muffin? I didn't really get that whole muffin part.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
So you were using liquid nitrogen for your ice cream and you couldn't freeze it? And he's like, nope. And she's like, but... Liquid nitrogen is like the easiest thing to do. If it doesn't freeze, you just keep pouring more on top. And he's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. He just has this very selfish way. He's like, mm-hmm, yes, mm-hmm, I hear you, you, whatever, stupid. Stop, muffins.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
I said muffins 20 times. I should stay because I've said muffins the most.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
And, uh, it apparently was terrible, but it's like, yeah, I think their face when they ate that oxtail, they, one guy went, so this is all oxtail. And he went, yeah. And he went like, he made a grimace and he's like, yep, all oxtail. I believe in oxtail. So nothing, no other ingredient, mash it up, put it in. He's like,
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
I'm just, I think the saddest part was a Padma died in the beginning, you know, Padma died in that horrible quick fire. Maybe that's why they were mad about the quick fire challenge when they did that little Blini challenge and she died on a Blini fry. And, you know, thankfully she's back as a ghost to kind of get little comments here and there.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Oh gosh. Okay. So next we have Bailey. So Bailey, God bless her. You just knew she wasn't going to go far. She looks kind of like a cartoon character. She's real like, you know, she's got her glasses and her hair and she was just very much like, I'm going to try it, but you know, we just don't, you knew she was going to be a disaster. She just had that written all over her.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
And so did the person who got kicked off first. What was her name? Uh, her name was Mimi. Mimi. Yeah. He's like, listen, you know, I got a girlfriend. I just want to win a couple of quick fires. Cause I just need to get some pots and pans. I got one.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Really all I need is a pot and a pan. So she did win the quick fire that day, but because the rules had changed, um, she did not, she lost the main challenge. So she got kicked off. And she was very happy to at least get her pan. She also worked at a place called Cat Face Cafe, which I thought was really funny because it's very much like her face.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah, I just want to pay them. You know, I got one pot.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Bailey was also kind of a disaster. You know, she did a little bit better, but she was eventually out. So then, and she's also worked at Parachute Sheets, which I hear has delicious food.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
she was bailey bailey bailey was not good she did um i think she tried to do did she try to do risotto i think she she attempted to do risotto the first episode it's like bailey and they're like no you're trying to know you're trying it and she even said like this is notoriously difficult on top chef like yeah you didn't do this any better so then we get cat turner cat is who i think looks like anna gasteyer she's like a anna gasteyer character i think she's so funny she also seems like kind of a disaster but then she always
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Her big thing is that she's a celebrity chef. So she's like, you know, every time I'm making something, I have to think like, what would Billy Corrigan think of this? It's like a huge deal. And this week she messed up her patty and she's like, oh my God, my patty's a mess. Look at my dough. My dough's a mess. And Anya was like, don't say that. And she goes, but it is. You can see it, Anya.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
This week they had a hockey challenge and, um, I just heard Padma telling Gail, wow, Gail, you're a family of hockey people really. And you made it all the way through high school without getting pucked once. Yeah. I was like, oh my God, Padma, you're even a bitch as a ghost.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
I wonder if I saw her at that burlesque place in Hollywood. I feel like I have. Jumbos? No, no. The one that was like all like 1920s. I'm sure you went there. They had like a big train car in the back. I forgot the name of it.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Um, but yeah, they had, there was like a high class burlesque place and she looks familiar. So I'm wondering if she was a dancer there now that I think about it.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah, it made me happy, too, because I just did not see that for her. I was like, uh-oh, disaster incoming. Then our final chef is Shui, Shui Wang. And he's from Queens, lives in North Charleston, South Carolina. And he is the chef owner at Jack Rabbit Philly and King.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
yeah is that bad if it's in charleston they have a good restaurant scene don't they i was i was lying i was making a joke about the hyper region i said the category was charleston and in and in proximity of patricia elchul oh it's not a real category i'm so sorry i started actually making the mistake of reading his old bio and my brain started to mush out of my ears there's so much here good god edit down people
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
So, um, yeah, he was named South Carolina chef ambassador, 2025. So I like him too. I think he seems really talented. Uh, let's make some predictions. Let me put on the top of my page so I can look back at these. Let's pick a top three. Top three.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
I'm going to say Katjana, Zubair, and let me see here. Oh, don't forget about Tristan. Tristan might do up. Let me see. Kat Turner. Mimi. Just kidding. I lose right off the bat. I'm going to say, I'm going to go crazy and say Massimo. I don't think this will happen. I know that that's a long, a long shot, but just to, just to have like a, a dark course. So you say, uh, Shway, Katiana and Vincenzo.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
I say Zubair, Katiana and Massimo. Yeah. So let's see if one of us gets one of these top three, we went $150,000 sponsored by. Saratoga spring water. All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here. We will be back next week to talk a bit of Top Chef. And we'll be back to whatever. We'll be around. We love you guys. We'll talk to you next time.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Butter makes everything edible, doesn't it, Gail? So, yeah, it's been enjoyable. So we figured since so much has gone on. Also, this show is traditionally difficult to recap because there's just so much food. It's like, wow, that guy really did a good job with his maple syrup, whatever concoction they're asking them to make this season.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dee. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
But it's especially difficult in the beginning because there are so many chefs and there are so many plates of food coming out. So we decided to skip the first few weeks. So instead, we are going to go through all of the cast and go through their bios and kind of do a cast roast, which we enjoy doing for this. And then we'll jump in with some.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
If we don't stay with full-time recaps, we'll be doing some updates and stuff as the season goes on. We'll just see how it works out, okay? Let us know what you think.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah, I get what you mean about more personality, because she does have that kind of video game version of a host where it's like, and now here coming up. And, you know, I need more.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah. Yeah, she's not doing that this year. She's like, I'm a veteran now. Fuck you guys.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah, we don't need to go too far into the judges just because, I mean, duh, we already know the judges, right? But I do want to say, Tom, no one's buying this look in your picture on Bravo, okay? This is like... He looks like an orange. He's got the Donald Trump finish on his face, and I don't believe it. Gail, your hair is great. I'm sad you're not wearing patterns.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
You're wearing just a solid mustard like the little hot dog you are. I will say last week during whatever challenge that was, she showed up in a tie-dyed dress, and I was dying laughing. Fucking Gail. Every time I think Gail finally got it together for a season, she pulls shit like that.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Finally, Gail's getting feedback from her attempt at finding a date for the Valentine's dance.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
So we are traveling. That's what Ben is referring to. This weekend, we're on the Mounting Historia, Historia. We're talking about history. We've become a history podcast. We're on the Mounting Historia tour. This weekend, we are going to be in DC and Philly. In DC, we're going to be doing Southern Charm Reunion in Philadelphia.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Unfortunately, the teenagers on the block thought that Gail was the creepy house, so they just went at her.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah. So let's start with Anya Elwatar. Anya. Now, Anya, I think, was both of one of our favorites because, listen, we love a Russian lady chef. We love it. We loved it on Below Deck Great Adventure. No, wait. No. Below Deck Mediterranean, where they lost the chef and they had to get Dushka from the boat next door. And she just kept coming on. And she didn't know much English.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
So they'd be like, hey, Dushka, do you know how to make soup? And she'd go, I'm Dushka.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah. And there was a, they were presenting their food and they were working as a team and she had made cabbage as part of the dish. And the lady who was announcing all the food didn't mention the cabbage. And then they went back into the line and Anya was like, well, I would have appreciated you mentioned cabbage. Because cabbage is very important to Russia. And you didn't mention the cabbage.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
That's my only note. That's my only note.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah. You know, and I found it ironic because she meant she kind of fourth wall broke and she's like, you know, we are allowed to bring things from home, uh, very special ingredients, which is why I brought the pine cone, you know, I thought tiny pine cone. So I love that. That's a thing in Russia. They're like, you know what, let's give them pain.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Let's give them something very, very sharp and difficult and make them swallow it in America.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
We're going to be doing a Summerhausen, which means those recaps are not going to be out to the weekend here on Watch What Crappens. So instead, today we're going to do a Top Chef Breakdown where we kind of catch up and go over all these chefs. So yesterday we did a trailer trash for The Valley. God, that was fun. And normally those are bonus episodes over on our Patreon.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
This challenge is a dish best served cold, like revenge. You know, what fashion takes on Gail every time she steps out in front of a camera. But yeah, she decided to make a cake, but then she couldn't make the cake because she was putting this powdered stuff in it. And so it messed with the consistency of the cake.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
So it came out really hard, like a cookie that she had shaped like a maple leaf, which is, I mean, kind of on the nose. And then she did the ice cream, but then that didn't work either. And it was just a whole, it was a whole fucking mess. And she also had a rough time in the quick challenge, the quick fire. Right.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Her stuff. She's chef at Birch and Rye in San Francisco. Born and raised in Moscow. Anya Alwatar's culinary education began with her mother teaching her about foraging. Oh, well, there you go. Preserving and showing love through cooking. Anya emigrated to America at 18. Undergrad degree at Columbia. Attended the Ayurvedic Institute in New Mexico to study healing properties of food. Okay, yeah.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
If we had read these before, I would say she's going to lose.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah, if we're going to talk about healing properties of food and we're not going to mention like ice cream, I don't want to hear from you. You know what I mean?
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Because it's never ice cream. It's always like, oh, look what this leaf does for you. Fuck off.
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#2779 Top Chef Season S22: Cooking The Canada Cast
Yeah, I think sometimes on this show, especially, they really highlight our differences, right? Because this shows a lot about... bringing in different kinds of people and from different backgrounds and cultures. And I think it's great because you learn as just as a viewer, you learn so much just watching these people who are like, oh, I'm from a small town and wherever.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So Craig is just general apologizing. Like, I don't think she needs you to hand her a plate of food and call her pretty. Okay. I think that she's used to like homely dudes handing her plates of food and calling her pretty like that's probably 90% of her fucking life in that town. Okay.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Hasn't been announced yet, but I'm sure that's coming up. So check out our website, watchwhatcrappens.com for ticket links and dates and all that good stuff. Also, if you want traders recaps, guess what? We do those. Yay. They're on Patreon. And so are videos like the one that we're doing right now. So if you'd rather watch some video recaps, go over there to do it.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
She needs you to say, sorry for slut shaming you in front of everybody, especially a new group of friends that don't even really know you yet. Sorry about that. Yeah. Like, sorry, I couldn't get laid by my dream girl. And so I turned it into a big drama about how you're being mean to her because I'm a complete fucking simp. But, you know, maybe I'll try to be better.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
You know, she doesn't care about your fucking sausage links, you douche.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So Sally at least is trying to earn a paycheck. She's like, JT, don't you think it's a problem when there's like four people in here that you have to apologize to? And he's like, I'm going to add a little hot water for a while. I'm good. I'm good. She's like, don't you feel weird about it? He's like, you know what? There's a lot to say to a lot of people, but I prefer that it's one-on-one.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Patreon.com slash watch what crappens or just join our YouTube and you get it a week later full. So what's going on with you, Ben? What's new in your life since yesterday?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah. And they're like, leave him alone. She's like, no, everything's on his term. I don't want to talk about it later. I want to talk about it now. And he's like, okay, that's fine. And she's like, fine, then don't talk to me.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And JT is like, Hey, you wouldn't. Now you're a hundred percent sure that Craig's not lying.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Now, the thing with JT is I believe JT, I don't think he called her a bitch and he didn't say the word affair and everything that we're about to get into. I don't think he did that stuff. The problem is he did come in swinging at everybody at the beginning of the season. He did insinuate that Madison
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Madison's husband was super jealous, which he was when we found out when Madison said that he did get pissed and they did call him for clarity. But it wasn't really about an affair. So we do know that he was jealous, but still, it wasn't really his business to be, you know, making that camera fodder or whatever. So she has a right to be pissed. But the problem is he's made everybody pissed.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So there's nobody... to stand up for you know stand up to craig because they don't care they don't even they know that craig is lying they don't even care that craig is lying because he's against somebody they all hate that's you and you did this to yourself so
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And he was at BravoCon. And this is the image that will always stick with me years later of JT. And I think this summed him up pretty well. He's walking in and there's like a group of people taking pictures, like a fake paparazzi or whatever. And whenever they come in, they're like, whoa. So he came into some lukewarm woos. I would say some lukewarm woos.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And then he had a water bottle and he like threw the water bottle up to catch it and look cool. But then the water bottle exploded in his face. I think he didn't have the top on or something. So he caught it and it like squeezed all over his face.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And like, he had a moment of looking embarrassed and then was just like, and just started pouring it all over himself and then raised his arms to like do double politician waves and had really sweaty armpits. And I was like, this poor guy, you know, he's just kind of sad. And so that's kind of the image that will always stick with me. And that's pretty much every scene he's done since.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah, me too. It's been a visceral world over here too. I'm still reading Lonesome Dove. That is nothing but pure pain and gore and disgust. I don't know how that's one of the most romantic books of all our time, but I'm on the fourth book. I'm vowing to finish this book, even though I'm disgusted. And I watched the Traders UK and that was really good. Loved it.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And so we have a gay person here. Let's have him say something gay. Cut to the gay person. And so Rodrigo's like, I'm shook. Thanks. All right. Someone pay the man. So Taylor's like, that's one thing I don't believe because JT is not the type of person to ever, ever demean a woman. Well, except when he slut shames one for kind of giving a blowjob.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Well, the cast doesn't talk to Vanita either. So I don't think she's like really in a power position where she would, they would listen to her either. And I think she knows it. I think she's barely hanging on with this group, you know, like she doesn't offend anybody, but she doesn't, nobody hangs out with her either. So.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I think she's, I think she feels like her position is tenuous enough and it's already bad enough that she's kind of tied herself to this monstrosity, uh, this season, but who knows? So, um, she's like, yeah, this is really hurting me. And Taylor's like, well, there's one thing, uh, he would never say, and he would never say the B word about her.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So Craig's like, uh, did you not say something about Austin too and Audrey? Yeah, but he hates them and Austin hates him. So who cares? Like we need to separate all of the issues and not make them one big issue.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So then we cut back to the golf place where JT is talking about Madison putting on his blue stripes in Jamaica and it made Brett feel a little weird. And Vinita's like, but you didn't say the B word, right? You said the word affair. So what's the story? And JT's like, Craig Laws, that's the story.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So next time I embarrass you, it'll be one-on-one on national television. When I say something like, you think I would have an affair with you?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah, because they just showed us a clip, too, of Craig lying because that's not at all what JT said. They just showed a clip of JT saying, well, I handed Miss Patricia a cane and she didn't take it. That was weird, which is not the same as saying that old woman's a bitch, you know, so.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And I ordered a laser thing online that like gets rid of hair. So I've been like waiting by the door, waiting for my laser thing to show up so I could start de-hairing myself. I'm going to be smooth like a fucking seal next time you see me. Wow. Are you going to apply it? Where are you going to apply it?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So Ryan's like, oh, I'm shook as well. All right. Another gay getting his paycheck. So he runs off after Craig to do nothing, as Ryan does on this show. And JT's like, Jesus Christ, that's why I didn't want to get into it. And Craig's just like, this is like the Twilight Zone. Yeah. So then basically Shep is trying to give JT advice. Like, hey man, Coleman Collected gets the point across.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Hey, but Austin, if you're going to talk like that, why don't you talk that way to Craig? I mean, how can you only talk like that to JT, but not to Craig? And he's like, don't you dare compare the two.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
He's like, yeah, but you just sit there quiet as a church mouse with Craig. And he's like, don't you dare compare the two.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I guess, but she's never going to hang out. So it shouldn't really matter. And, um, you know, I had some doubts before when this first came up, cause I was like, well, maybe JT said in a separate conversation, Patricia's a bitch and use the word affair or something. Maybe it was off camera, but now Craig is specifying.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
No, it was that day when Shep was there and we just saw the footage of him not saying that. So stupid Craig. So then back at the table, Sally's also mad at Shep. She's like, I'm just confused. Like, why you've got JT's back when you've been friends with these guys forever? He's like, I just, I don't ever hold back. I'll tell you how I feel. And Austin's the one who holds back.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Okay, and now he's going for it.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I want no hair everywhere. I want to look like a basic wee character when I'm done.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Hmm. So Austin's like, yeah, I still hold a grudge and you're a piece of shit, but all these other people have an issue with you, man. Okay. Like everyone does. So blah, blah, blah. So Sally's like, well, I'm making this statement right now. I will not go on the boat if JT doesn't, if JT goes on the boat. Sally, you're doing nothing on this show. Okay. Bring JT on the boat, hit him on the boat.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
What's a party without a pinata, okay?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
This is really hurting me. And Austin tells him he's literally a piece of shit. So JT's like, I'm out. I'm out. You're not, none of y'all are worth my time. And so he leaves. And then JT's like, for you to call me a piece of shit after how you handled your shit last year. He's like, I'll go deflect to someone else.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So JT leaves, which, you know, I feel like they just need to start putting guardrails up to stop letting cast members leave at this point. It's ridiculous with this cast. Like no one's there. They've got like half, they've got half a cast every time they shoot. And two of those people are JT and the other one. I'm not JT, Rodrigo and the other one who don't do anything. What are you guys doing?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Okay. So that's my big news in life. Let's get on with this recap. Southern Charm, season 10, episode 12, Lost at Sea. Oh, poor Garth. Poor little servant. All he wants to be in love with somebody that he's met three times is 20 years younger and doesn't live anywhere near him.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So do you think Craig actually believes his lies or what is Craig doing?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
My theory is that he knows this didn't happen and he's just using the word bitch because he knows that that'll be an automatic block, you know, for the group anymore. And he's using this language because they had all agreed to get JT off the show because nobody liked him.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And now people are waffling and he's mad at Shet because he's not just sticking with the, with the original bullshit, but who knows really. I mean, I'm just I'm honestly just theorizing because nothing's happening on this show. So now JT goes to sit in the van, which is hilarious that they're like, OK, you want to leave? Well, we're not going to drive you anywhere. So he still has to be there.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And Craig's like, oh, yeah, well, look, Madison says something like, well, anybody who's friends with JT can go in there. I ain't going in there. And Craig's like, yeah, well, JT's best friend Shep is going in there. So now we're in divided vans and Craig's calling Shep a pussy for being nice to JT. And Taylor's like, well, JT has like a ton of shit he needs to work on.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And we all know that I would move in with those people for a good solid few years before I ever say anything.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
You know, they have a sensible conversation with Madison. You know, she's the most aggrieved. Whitney, you can't yell at everybody else for not showing up to the workplace when you barely show up either. You've been off all day too. So JT's like, I'm done. I'm eviscerated. I've got no guts left in my body. This town will realize what it once had once it no longer has me.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah. So then the next morning, um, the guy's room is just disgusting because it's guys, you know, and one of the sinks is just running. We don't, we don't ever really. Yeah. I was wondering what was up with that? I don't know. Running sink. Yeah. So then Vanita had the giant, the most giant piece of food that she was eating. I was like, wow, what is this local delicacy?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I couldn't figure out what it was. I was like, is that a corn cake? What is that? I want, it was a bagel. It was just gigantic. Yeah.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I really like when they get into their Peter and the Wolf mode on this show with the music and the orchestra and stuff because they've decided that JT is, like, the bassoon or whatever. Yeah. Cause everyone else is like a high, like and then it gets to him and it's just like… Every time they got to him, they just cut to the bassoon.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And also it was like a dinner that he just got completely, you know, eviscerated at, and he was all sad and left. And he's like, need somebody to talk to. And she straddles him and is like, give it to me. I mean, geez. So he's like, well, I think I made it pretty clear that when I removed her, not once, but twice off of me in my bed in the Bahamas, because I have a girlfriend.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I know. He's like, why did you do this on the camera?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah. I mean, no one even likes the title of the substance that watches this show, because I feel like if you're any self-respecting woman, what you're trying to avoid from any man on the show is the substance. OK, just stay away from them. They're gross. They're all gross, including you, Craig, you fucking compulsive liar. But we'll get to that in a moment.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
This show is famous for you have to fuck somebody to be on this show. I mean, look at Whitney. Like, honestly, like he's definitely the gate, the gatekeeper of that. Like how many people have had to date Whitney to get on the show or Shep or one of them? You have to do it to get on this show.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I mean, it was like last year was Olivia that when she was pretending to date people just because she wanted to be on the show, you know, and I guess that's what they consider the show to be about. It's kind of like below deck where they're like, well, somebody better try and fuck this season or we don't have a show.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
But it's kind of ruining the show because it's happening now with almost every couple that's on it. And it's just cringy to watch. But I didn't understand why she said for him to come out and just say, listen, the feelings that I have, the feelings you have for me are the same I have for you, but stronger. So he is kind of still leading her on, right? I don't know.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah. So he's like, I mean, look, you're down, you're out, you're sad, and you got a beautiful girl throwing herself at you. And you're like, no, please. I can't. I can't. I mean, I'm just trying my best here, guys. Wow.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So we start with horror music playing because JT is arriving in Bahama. Yeah. And, you know, JT's kind of diva-ing out, which I don't really like. I think he's too new to be pulling this diva shit of, like, showing up late and leaving early and throwing fits and doing all of this. But he did lead to the only interesting things about the episode. So, you know, Team JT for now.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
so then we go to the guy's suite and shep comes down just looking like and gets in bed with craig and he's like i saw your calls thanks for looking out but i spiraled last night because i just want i'm just a person who want love it's not because i'm still the crazy alcoholic that you refuse to be friends with last year after i got kicked out of bravo gone right
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And Craig's like, well, yeah, basically we went to a casino. Shep got kicked out of the casino and he was so drunk he couldn't stand up. And then we went to the room and he still wasn't there and we couldn't find him. Dun, dun, dun. Then we hit an air tag and the air tag said, this man is too depleted of life force to locate. I'm sorry.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
He's like, no, what? You know, it's just, Craig, you have this stance. You're like, this is what's right. You know, sleeping in a bed, not getting kicked out of casinos. I mean, who even are you? How do you live like that?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
No, it's not her fucking fault. Oh, my God. This fucking weirdo. So Shep's like, I'm just so in love. I know nothing about her. But, gosh, I love her. She has lips.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
It's like, I'll keep them. Which I liked. So it's like, okay, you can also decide who gets to smoke them, all right? Well, thank you. Thank you for taking this time because I didn't want to get it into the table. But, you know, I didn't want to have those conversations at dinner. But thank you for volunteering to talk to me. Just where do I start to dive in?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I'm sorry I brought up that FaceTime call that you actually made to Craig. And that was a huge mistake, you know? I bet... And she doesn't deny that the phone call happened. And he's like, it wasn't a hit job on you.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And he's like, okay, wait, hurt your feelings? Because didn't you hear what I said? You heard what Craig said that I said. I mean, this was a conversation for us. And, you know, now we're stuck in Craig's telephone game of bullshit. And it's fucked up. And I want our relationship back.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah. So he's going to wuss out, which kind of just destroys the whole season, basically, because there's like literally nothing. So then the girls are talking about it and they're like, what happened?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I'm like, well, I guess he's just trying to be civil. She goes, I don't know. I'm bored. I can only imagine how the audience feels.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So now Craig, the relationship expert, gets his completely uninterested girlfriend on the phone to lecture shop. Yeah.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
If she's not breaking up with you now, she's just waiting till between seasons so she's not haste as hard on Twitter. So that's what you need to understand.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I don't even believe that she said she loves you. Unless it was like in that very casual, like, yeah, sure. Love. Yeah. I love being with you or something that he took it wrong. Cause we already saw Shep bullshitting last week where he's like, she said, I was going to miss you. Cut her going. Well, I don't know if I'm going to miss you.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah, he's full on pretending I'm his girlfriend without even telling me. It's fucking weirdo. Yeah. So Paige is like, okay, listen, things change. If she's not texting you back, she's not trying to sleep with you every night. She's not trying to hang out. She's not trying to introduce you to her family. Now listen to this. Craig, you too. I don't like you.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
He'll try it. Watch next season. He'll be like, oh my God, Miss Patricia. I should have known Paige was wrong when she called you the C word.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Randy's getting extra lashings for another month. So Paige is like, look, I'm going to tell you something that my mom used to tell me all through my twenties. You're going to meet a man named Craig one day and you'll be able to do better. So ride that wave while you can and then move on from the pillow man. Also, if people like you, you'll know it. She doesn't like you. Am I done here?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Do I get paid for this?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah, but she tried to have the conversation with Shep and he refused until they were on camera. And so now she knows what he's trying to do, which is make her look like a villain and him look like some sweet, innocent little boy. So I think she's just trying to avoid it until he's back home and she can dump him properly. You know what it is? It's like, do like a proper ghost thing.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Even though it's completely obvious what he's doing, it's worked. I mean, people on the internet are like, fuck that girl for hurting poor Shep.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah, so everybody else has decided to just leave Shep because he's pathetic. Well, mostly Craig. He's like, we're leaving. So they go to the boat instead and Shep is like, what a predicament! And then they're deciding that they're just going to fucking leave him because they're sick of listening to him.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And now Whitney is also not coming because, you know, no one in this cast comes to work whenever they don't want to. And they're like, yeah, he's a vampire. So Molly's like, I mean, I just I don't even get it with JT. Like, I'm trying to be nice and just be like, I'm going to try and understand. But like he knew what he had to do and he can't even apologize. So whatever. He can fuck right off.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And Taylor's like, yeah, at the end of the day, you got nothing for nothing. He's not going to, he's going to do what he wants to do. And I can tell you this much, what he's going to want to do is not own his emotions. Oh, what are you talking about? He's over there, like rolling around with them. You know, he's like trying to get anybody to believe that he has them in the first place.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So Shep just writes her back, of course, I really wanted you to come with us. We could have done the Titanic thing on the front of the boat, except you would have been the one to drown and die instead because I'm rich. But still, whatever. I guess I'll see you back at the hotel. So he walks to the boat like as slowly as possible. And by the way, he's in a bright pink matching shorts romper.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And Sally's like, I mean, I feel bad looking at him because, you know, he does look so sad, but he'll get over it. That's life. I might have suggested the first step, find a parking space at Great American. That's right.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah, and then there's a record scratch because Taylor's like, gross. She turns around. She doesn't like that. So then Austin goes to talk to Shep and, you know, they're trying to make him happy, but it's not really working because, you know, Shep's just so, so sad. So then Sally checks in. Then they get in the water and Shep's like, I wanted her to come, but she's running late.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So I just texted her and said, meet me back at the hotel. I mean, but this... This was her idea. This whole trip, this whole trip was her. It just makes no sense.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And she was like, oh my God, isn't it so cute? JT just texted me asking me about his shoes. And then she's showing the pictures of JT, you know, showing himself posing in different shoes. And it's not cute. And why are you still even accepting texts from this person? And why are you giddy over it? You're making me very uncomfortable at this point, Vanita, okay?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
yeah so then um molly's talking to shep later and uh she's like yeah i haven't had sex in over a year it's like been nuts like i don't even know what it's like to have sex as an obese person yet and he's like you've been celibate she's like i mean i masturbate you know so there's that so that's fun you know i mean i'm not you know i got a vibrator and he's like wow well i didn't want to say it she's like i mean come on i'm not a nun
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Okay. So Austin saying, well, I don't know, you know, like, I don't know what the situation is, but you know, nobody can make you get over someone except for yourself.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
But you know, until you stop feeling like this is insane, what are you going to do? You know? So then Vanita Taylor and Rodrigo were talking and Vanita's like, yeah, you know, JT really hurt my feelings because he wouldn't come on the boat. And I said, do it for me. But then he wouldn't come on the boat for me. And I was like, wow, that really hurts. Okay, you're another one.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Why don't you just date Shep? Yeah. You're both pathetic at this point. Like, stop. The man said he doesn't want you. Stop texting him.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And so- Oh, please, you're just picking that movie because he's also short.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So then he's packing up and it's the longest five minute packing scene I've ever seen. Like, well, we're paying this man, so we might as well get him doing something. Let's watch him put his stuff into packing cubes. So we watch that for a while and then he leaves and he's like-
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
we'll see you later nasa and he's out so then uh back to the boat austin's like hey sally show him your tits there's a boat over there why is everybody telling sally to do that all the time for sally so um sal so then um austin's like hey molly molly do you think uh chef's tongue would taste like sandpaper and she's like do i think his tongue would taste like sandpaper well why don't you try it out
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I'm not buying that Molly likes Shep or that Shep's even considering this. It's kind of bad. It's kind of bad improv at this point. So then Craig is doing some ocean euphemisms. He's like, hey, you know what I would say?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I know we make fun of your dog scenes, but I like you. I'm rooting for Vanita. I feel like we've always been rooting for Vanita, but you're trying me at this point.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
That's what happens when you don't give a guy like Shep what you want. He immediately starts calling you a gold digging slut. That's what happens. That's classy change Shep for you guys.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah, but he doesn't really believe that. He just wants some pretty girl to tell him he's worth something, you know, which Madison doesn't, which I really like.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I mean, who wants to wake up to somebody who's got a mailbox full of their daddy's money? No one, probably! Who wants someone handsome and set for life? No one!
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So she's trying to be sad for him, but it's Shep, you know? And so she's like, who ever thought I'd be sitting here talking to you off ledge? He's like, oh, she's so angry about it. Oh, thank God we know now she's just a gold digging slut and I can move on with my life.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah. I hope they have another six episodes this season. They're really making it happen. All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here for Watch What Crappens. We will be back later today with a Traders Recap, and we'll be back next week with just all sorts of stuff. So check out our tour schedule over at watchwhatcrappens.com, and we'll talk to you next time. Love you. Bye.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. How you doing over there?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yes, we canna, it's Savannah.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So then Madison's calling Brett and Brett's also very excited. I swear they must have some charisma meter on this show because everybody on it is just brimming. She calls her man and she's like, hi, how are you? And he's like, good.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Nothing. Just working. I miss you.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
It's hot, Madison. He's a fucking fireman. How do you think it is? Okay. So we are done. Thank God.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
well now like in modern makeup the ladies put on many many layers of crazy things you know and this is an episode that really points that out so maybe there was like a base of lip and then another thing for the lip and then another thing like when you were a kid and you would scribble with crayon on a piece of paper and then cover it all in black crayon and then scratch out pictures they would be like multi-colored pictures do you know what i mean did you ever do that i didn't do that but that's interesting lame so well it must have been my montessori school just kidding i didn't go to my story school
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And anyway, there's a lot of stuff. And later we see it with Molly putting on her makeup where she gets the really dark thing and just like lines her face for the contouring. I know everyone's like getting ready for Lion King. Yeah, and then she looks fairly normal by the time she goes to dinner. Couldn't you just put on a little, like, I don't know, eyeliner?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I don't know, I'm really big on eyeliner after watching The Traders UK, because the hostess of that show is, she's basically a walking eyeliner stick. She's an eyeliner stick with bangs, and so that's all I really ever...
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Okay, so now everybody goes over to dinner and Craig and Austin are wearing the same outfit. It's a big episode where guys are dressing each other, too, and they're like wearing matching, matchy-matchy things. Like later, Craig and Shep wear short rompers, you know? And I don't know. It's all very confusing. I'm not really sure what's happening this episode.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
But they go to dinner and Molly's ass decides to do more work than she has this season by sweating. So that's good. Someone's making an effort. And then Whitney shows up to dinner and then JT comes in and the music's like... It's like every dying sound of every instrument.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Happy to be at Friday. Has any beauty queen texted you back today?
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So Shep is also moping around in the van, you know, because his girl still doesn't like him. And so they're like, good to have you, JT. And Whitney's like, yeah, yeah, I'm here too. I was just chilling today. She's like, yeah, this is good for you. You're going to be happy, JT. You're going to love it here. Just look how happy everybody else is. One girl won't show up. Whitney won't show up.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Vanita showed up a day late. Everybody else stayed in bed all day. It's been great, great time.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah. We cut back to why she's mad, and it's because at the tuba party, JT confronted her about... breaking up the very healthy previous relationship of Gaston by giving him a kind of blow job in the Great American parking lot. So now, you know, orders, Shep goes over to Sally and he's like, hey, hey, oh, you know, I think we just, you know, we click and she doesn't want to lose that.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And I don't either. You know, I'm talking about Sienna, just in case you're, in case you're wondering what I'm talking about. I just need someone new that's not sick of me yet to listen to this bullshit act I'm trying to tell everybody. I'm a man, a man who can feel love.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
So he's like, I appreciate that. I'm a boy. And then Taylor just rolls her eyes. So then Craig's like, someone's like, well, don't worry. Sienna's showing up tomorrow. And Craig's like, he thinks she is, but she's not.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Everybody, it is Southern Charm Day. Welcome. Before we get started, we're on the Mounting Hysteria Tour. That's a tour that we go to your city. It's so fun. We're going to be in March. We're going to be in Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, Philadelphia, and then other places. including Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, Las Vegas, Los Angeles.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
All right, Craig, you know what? You're not wrong, but you've been in a relationship for one minute. That doesn't make you a relationship expert. Just please be quiet. Craig's getting worse and worse with every episode.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Oh my God. And her freckled little lips. I just, that is so cute. Oh my God. Too garsh or not too garsh. Oh my God. Shep, you're, you're like poetic. You're like poetic. And Madison's watching.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Because she lives in the same town and he can't consistently cheat on her. And then he'd actually have to make an effort to be in a relationship. And the Siena thing is fake anyway. I don't know what you people aren't understanding. It's really annoying that nobody on this cast really understands or they do understand and they're just too bored to call it out. Come to work, cast.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
She's like, oh my God, do you need freckles? I'll put freckles on my lips. Like whatever you need. What do you need me to do to stay on the show? I've already dated Whitney. So I really don't know what else I could do. Sure. Someone hand me an eyeliner pencil. Okay. Mama's got to pay the mortgage.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And he's like, would you like some food salad? Why don't I hand the missus this plate first? Because as everyone knows, I'm a respecter of the female. And she's like, oh God. And they're like, wow, look at that. It looks like JT's making an effort to get along. She says, oh yeah, he handed me a plate. Big whoop. I love your hair tonight as well. Love that too. She's like, don't fuck with me, JT.
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#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
He's like, you're also stunning, I might add.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Some of our favorite Housewives episodes are when the cast goes on group vacations. I mean, hello, we just watched SLC go nuts in Mexico. Or what about Scary Island? Or what about Morocco? I mean, it goes on and on and on.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
So now he's like – he's watching like Nosferatu or like Dracula. Yeah, learning about – And he's scared. Yeah.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Dustin Milligan's like, guys, just roll the camera. I'm just going to try some stuff.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
This is going to go in my reel later. He's like, well, Craig can do it, so I can do it too. I'm going to do some really good physical stuff. There's a vampire on screen.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Wait, hold on a second. It's not later on. This is why I called you on. It's ten minutes later. Because this discovery – the reason – the vampire movie is what causes the discovery here, which is that he goes into the basement looking for vampires because of what he saw on TV. Yes. And instead he finds a document that says that Kathy's husband – needed chemotherapy at some point in his life.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
LOL. LOL. The strangest part to me was when there was a note from the husband to Kathy saying, it's not looking good for me. So it's one of the last things I'm going to go to Washington, D.C. on January 6th. Wish me luck. I was like, wow. Oh, wow. I'm going to go out with a bang.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
These were egregious. I saw the Canva logo and I thought maybe they should have added that. Yeah.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Didn't he pick that up on TV? Like he learned about vampires and cooking. Maybe. And modesty. Modesty.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
So he basically tries to undress. She's like, no, no, no, no, no. Like that's – you don't do that in front of me, et cetera. So she's like – oh, he's like, by the way, I have something to show you in the kitchen. And she's like, okay. By the way, before you show me that, that first night that you said of your life, were you wearing clothes? And he's like, yeah, no, I had to –
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I actually just got a wonderful selection of herbs from there that I cooked some garbanzo beans with, so I had a nice, bright, healthy, herbaceous meal to start off the new year.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I got the scarf you gave me, but that's basically it. And she goes, oh, no. Did you streak past old Mortimer Jennings? And he's like, streak? She goes, yeah. Did you run by with no pants? He's like, listen, I've got something to show you in the kitchen.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Well, the holidays have come and gone, and let me tell you something. It feels nice to give my home a little TLC after all that chaos and hubbub of December.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I have two new beautiful gray lounge chairs that I have put here into this office for podcasting needs, and they just look lovely, and I got them from Wayfair. They arrived very quickly, and they were easy to put together. It was a dream.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Honestly, it's just really convenient that Wayfair has everything our home needs. I mean, because I'm going to get a coffee table, I might get a lamp, and it's just all there on the website.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Wayfair makes it easy to tackle your New Year's home goals with endless inspiration for every space and budget, whether you need a light refresh or an organizational overhaul. Give your home the refresh it needs with Wayfair. Head to Wayfair.com right now.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Quince has all the must-haves, like Mongolian cashmere crewneck sweaters from $50, iconic 100% leather jackets, and versatile flow-knit activewear.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman and passes the savings on to us.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I have a sweet, sweet goldenrod light jacket that I got from Quince. I got a bracelet. And, you know, we're about to go on tour. And so I'm going to need to get some cool looks for when we hit that stage. And guess what? I'm going to go to Quince to do it.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
So Kathy's basically like, listen, you have to keep off of the sheriff's radar. And he's like, oh, my God, I'm on the radar. So she's like, yeah, you need to lay low. So Kathy's decided that she's okay being like an accessory to this criminal. Yeah.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Kathy's like, okay, well, thanks for this ugly-ass scarf. Here, I got you a sandwich with no mayo with the driest cold cut of all, turkeys.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I think eggnog is – the eggs are cooked, though. Maybe. Oh. Well, I think that like in proper eggnog, I think it's – Oh, they're not supposed to be cooked. Huh.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
now proper eggnog is like whatever to me but store store-bought eggnog like the stuff that comes that carton oh that thick heavy cream laced with you like don't like it or you do i love it yeah i can't i can't do it i can't do it oh my god do i love it my alcohol
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
That could be good, yeah. Now, by the way, speaking of all this food stuff, this is when the movie does start to feel like a Nancy Meyers movie. Because all of a sudden, we have soft lighting, we're in a kitchen, we're getting close-ups of all this food.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
No, Nancy Myers is alive. It's Nora Ephron who died.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
74 is nothing. Yeah. Sure. I always think about that scene in It's Complicated where Meryl Streep makes a chocolate croissant.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
You go. She's great. I loved her in Murders. I was just going to, I was just going to go back to the kitchen scene. Cause I already can tell if we start talking about Meryl Streep, it's over.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I was trying, I was trying to go on. So Kathy is like, uh, she's having a moment, an existential crisis. Cause she's like, I mean, you're nog. It's, it's fantastic nog. I was grossed out by it.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Yeah, you cold bitch. But she's like, it's a fantastic nog, but you're standing here in my kitchen and you could barely even function this morning and you're making me drinks and dinner. I mean, let's not even mention the snowman part. I'm like, no, that's the part that you start with first. You're losing your mind, lady. Check yourself into an institution.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
So he's like, when was the last time someone made you dinner? She goes, Isaac at the diner. He makes me dinner almost every night. I'm a woman. I don't understand how to do things for myself. And I can't even remember the last time I cooked for myself.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I was going to say the same thing, and I'm like, I don't understand how they are going to turn this into a romance. Don't worry. If she's talking to him like a child.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Just because he came to life, they should have made him come to life and be this hot, suave guy who's got full personality in this sleepy town. And she's just like, whoa, you're a creep or whatever. But then she realizes that he actually has a heart. Instead of like, oh, he has a heart. And now I realize... I could do some workarounds and find this person sexually attractive. Possibly.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
So they get to, Kathy is going to take him in. She brings Jack to her house. Okay. And she's like, well, I don't know what to do with this person, but I'm going to do what I've heard parents do, which is stick him from the TV. So she puts him from the TV. She turns on the TV and she's flipping through. And this is where she puts on, I think this was the falling for. This is falling for Christmas.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Yeah, it's weird. I think it should have just been like he got into an accident or he died of hypothermia. So that way it could all be tied together a little bit.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
But I am. Also, I feel like this is... You know what I also don't like about this? Is that like... I hate when people, when movies do like a surprise cancer thing. Cause I also feel like there are people who have cancer who probably turn this on as like an escape to get away. Yeah.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
And then this sort of just gets dropped in there and that's gotta be like, it's, that's just sort of like not a nice thing.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Yeah. Cancer. But they could have just said that he died of like anything. Yeah. I don't know. I just feel like cancer is actually just too, that's actually too scary versus like, it's very heavy. Yeah. Yeah.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
What's cancer? What's cancer, by the way?
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
So she's been in a state of- He got step cancer.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Her life is on the line because she hasn't moved forward. And I think we all know this guy's going to help. So he... So he starts talking about how he tried making pizza, and it was hot. Couldn't do the oven. That scared him. Because I don't like the oven. No, I don't like the oven.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
That's a Gamora. There we go. So now they're watching TV because that's all that they can do together. So there's no meet cute and they spend their entire romance watching TV. Nope. They're already bored.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Yeah. And she says, I think I went to high school with this girl. Okay. I'm going to be, this is totally honest what I'm telling you right now. This is not me trying to go back and do a callback to all this Lauren Holly shit. At this point, in my mind, I'm watching this movie, and I see that Lauren Holly is high in the credits.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
So they're watching something about Hawaii and he's like, whoa, let's go. She's like, to Hawaii?
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Literally, people do that all the time. And on top of that, like – This woman, I am very concerned for her because, again, she has this childlike person who's claiming to have been a snowman. She doesn't really believe it. She's already in trouble with the law. And yet when their fingers touch while reaching for the pizza cutter together, she gets kind of horned up in that moment.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I'm like, really, lady? You're getting horned up by this strange infantile person in your house right now?
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Yeah, he really like, God, it's really a shame that Lauren Holly was not the one giving that scarf because she would have a field day with this guy. Lauren Holly would be riding him. It would just be 90 minutes of her fucking this guy. She would be a fucking Mrs. Robinson with Benjamin. Oh, yeah. Leg would be up and she'd be like, I'm going to teach you the ways of the world. Yes.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Just a snowman pass around. You know what's a good movie?
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
So I know that Lauren Holly, in my mind, is going to be playing a big role. I'm waiting for Lauren Holly to come on. And for some reason, out of context, the TV's sort of small. I did not realize that this was Lindsay Lohan. I thought it was Lauren Holly. Because of the red hair, and it was sort of far away, and there was fillers. And I was like...
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
By the way, also, I want to say this is also hilarious to me is that like she's like, OK, well, after this hug, she doesn't like being hugged because, you know, she's cold. Guys, that's the theme here. And so she's like, okay, well, good night. And he's like, well, what do I do tomorrow? And she's like, just watch TV, just whatever, just stay in the house and lay low.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
That should be the end of the scene. But then he's like, okay. And she goes, all right, bye.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
It was so weird. The first thing they teach you is like, you don't have to say goodbye on your scene. No, that is. Bye. Bye.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Pass this metal detector on your way out, please. She goes to sleep and he stays up watching TV and starts watching a DIY channel where he learns about how to fix a roof and things like that. Does he need to sleep?
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Apparently, he can eat only some food. There's so many questions. I just don't feel like they built out this world properly. So Jack is watching TV the next day. I'm sorry. No. He watched TV. So now it's the next day. He just watched this home improvement stuff. So now he's out on the roof shirtless again. And he is fixing the roof because he's excited to do things.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
And a car comes trundling down the street. And we see a shock of blonde hair. And we're thinking, who is this now? And it's Jane Miller. And all of a sudden, it turns out this is Lauren Holly. Lauren Holly is driving and she looks at her window. With these glasses. She's got these glasses and she sees a shirtless stud on a roof. And she's like, thank you, God. Thank you. Christmas comes early.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Literally, literally crashes her car.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I thought when she said that reminds me of a girl from – I went to high school with. I thought they were setting up a plot point that there was going to be this evil girl played by Lauren Holly. And I was like, are they going to have Lacey Chabert and Lauren Holly actually play like they went to high school together? And then I looked it up. I thought Lauren Holly is 61. Lacey Chabert is 42.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
A pinball machine that you want to fuck. So it's the next day. So yeah, I'm sorry. So she's, so she's all like, you know, she's crashed her car and he's like, are you all right? She's like, Oh, I think I'll, I think I'll be fine. She's like, she can't wait to tell all the ladies.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I was like, was she the one on peeling her candy slowly at the movie theater? Yes. Yes.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Eileen's basement. I loved this group of women, and I felt like we deserved more of them in the movie.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I was like the balls of this movie. That they're going to say that these two people who are 20 years apart are going to be classmates and she's going to come back in and be the villain. I went down this whole path where I literally thought this was going to happen.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
So we're at the women I've all gathered just to stare at this hot guy because it's either the hot guy or it's like...
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
there's really no one left no there's no we've seen everybody in the town left to stare at in this town okay so uh so then he's like okay well ladies that you turned on the light they all applaud and uh he's like any is there anything else i could do for you and sheila is like well you know what my son brandon is the principal at the middle school and they just lost their maintenance staff in a horrific accident with the town bridge you just don't even want to see that oh
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I was like, what happened? The entire maintenance staff. Well, they went on strike because they were not being paid fair wages. So anyway, I don't want to get political. Will you do the work instead? Could you be a scab for us?
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
How did they lose their entire maintenance staff? Like what happened? It is strange. Was there any other snowmen?
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Yeah, there should have been some horrific accidents that way. Yes. The reason why the maintenance staff and why the husband are no longer with us is because there was some terrible squall of some sort. No, it's just the snow sculpture festival.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
That would have been so much more interesting. I totally agree. I wish it would have happened. Until Lauren Holly appeared. Until she appeared later. I literally thought this was happening. And then when I saw that she was not the high school friend, I was like, wait a second. And I was like, oh, it was Lindsay Lohan.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
And he's like, can someone give me a ride to the diner? And they all are like me. They take their ladies convertible. Yeah, they show up. I imagine the car just like bouncing.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
That would have been a good crossover. Yes. So he shows up at the cafe and Kathy's like, oh, my God, what are you doing here? He's like, well, I was at home, but then Jane crashed her car and then she needed a light installed. And Kathy's like, why was Jane driving? She got a DUI two months ago. Yeah.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
He always has to leave them. He always has to leave the heat.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
No, they had fans. They had fans on. It was annoying. It's a little hot in here. Can you turn the temperature down? It's a little hot. It's like, you know what? How about you just learn to deal? You're not going to melt all at once. Your toes will go first.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Don't let him forget he's a snowman. He needs to ice packs. He could have had some ice packs. He could have pretended he got an injury, stuff like that. And why doesn't he have a pipe? Exactly. Exactly.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Yeah, so they're sitting there, and he's like – because he sees them in the window, and he's like, aha, a new person. So he's like, so, Kathy, introduce us. Can you introduce us to your new friend? So they sit down, and they're sort of having this tense interaction. With shaft music still playing.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
And what I also loved, was this the moment where Kathy says, okay, follow my lead? Yes, yes. Because she goes, okay, follow my lead. Hello there, officer. I'll be right back. And then she just leaves.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
There was no lead. You didn't let him. No. She hung him out to dry.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I felt like it was a little unsanitary. They were really just putting their fingers right in that ice. They were. I was like, you guys, it's a little dirty. A little dirty what's happening here. I didn't appreciate that, but it was very funny because they are stuffing ice in their mouth. You can see that Craig Robinson is trying not to crack up.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
You can see the smile on his face a little bit, and it was great.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Oh, Lord. It's not right. It's not right. Sheriff Hunter is onto something. So then basically he leaves because Kathy is like, oh, we're late. We've got to go. So they walk out, but he's like, he's sweating everywhere. So now the Sheriff Hunter is like, I don't know. Do nice guys sweat through their shirts while questioned by the cops? Ed. And Ed's like, well, if they have a gland condition, yes.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
It's like, well, maybe I should be in Guantanamo Bay. I did steal some galoshes and broke a window. She's like, you can't handle jail. You can't handle 10 minutes in a lukewarm diner, you idiot. You handsome, handsome idiot. Take me now.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I mean... Well, they do introduce casual stakes here, where he's like, wait, are you saying I would melt in the jail? So now we know it's not just jail, it's a death sentence.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
It's called Single All the Way. I looked it up. It's the gay one. Coolidge. I said, Jennifer Coolidge, Christmas movie. I did some searching. Single all the way. Oh. Okay, so that's when I realized the clip earlier was from Lindsay Lohan. I was like, oh, I see they're using.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Because at this point, I had now realized that Lauren Holly was not was not a high school friend because she said, I've known this girl since she was born. I was like, okay, so she's not the high school friend. I still really thought, I'm not even joking. So that's when I realized. That's when it all came together. He has fixed the leak.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
But this is their big fight that they're having right now because she's like, you will not get a job. You're going to stay here and watch TV. And he's like, no. I want to help. But then she sees the Christmas decorations that he put up without her permission by my dad. Thank you. True. He's like, look, I don't know what's happening anymore, any more than you do, Kathy.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I could wake up tomorrow and be a puddle. So I just want to make the most of it with the time that I have here.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I'll tell you that when I pick you up. But nobody else. All right. We're going to do a movie called Hot Frosty where the snowman becomes the sexiest man you've ever met, and we're going to put him into a middle school. Exactly.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Yeah, I think this is where we get our Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree or whatever.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
It was a montage. It wasn't Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree, but it was like... I didn't know what music they... Was this the... Maybe it wasn't this one, but it was a montage.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
So, he's helping around, helping the school, because the school, the toilets have been backed up for so many days now. So many days. Finally. Apparently, there was no one in town willing to take this job.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
We've got Dr. Dottie in town. She'll help. She's like, when do I tell everyone it's an honorary doctorate? so oh no so jack is kathy goes to pick up jack from the school and he's waving goodbye to everyone he's like bye bye bye and kathy's like sure you don't want to say goodbye to her cousin or her cousin's cousins i was like okay listen You're so miserable. What a bitch.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
She's like, I mean, everything about this. I mean, maybe I should run from the hills because, I mean, look, he's nice. He's good looking. He's like, wait, you think I'm good looking?
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
She goes, of course. Everyone in town loves you. He goes, the whole town loves me? Wow. But they haven't even known me for that long. And he said, it takes a really long time to fall in love. So if the whole town loves me and you're in the town, does that mean you're in love with me? She's like, okay, you know what? Relax. Relax.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
It's just, you know, it's just remnants from previous programs and no one decides to you know what exactly draft one no one went by and chose it yeah yeah there was a mayor in one draft they're gone but they still get they're gone and when the actors say these lines no one says oh we forgot to take that out they say just go with it oh we don't have time we could make this movie in four days
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Literally anything. Thank you. So she's just like, okay, well, here's the TV. You learn about life here. And Jack is like, thanks. I'm so excited to be here. I love this house and I love you. You know what? You have to stop. Okay. You don't, you don't love me. Okay. Cause you know, you may like a house or a soup. Those are things that's fine.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
But when you love a person, you can't love a person the way you love a soup or a house. Okay. It means more to love a person unless it's a really good soup, which I used to be able to do, but I can't cause I'm mourning it.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
You don't understand the way you could toy with people's hearts. You know, one day you're a snowman, next you're a hunk. You just can't tease a girl like that.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I love them when I leave. Listen, it's one thing to say, I love you when you're first of all, gay men can say, I love you to anything and it always works. Okay.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I once was invited out to brunch by this girl. And I had met her like the day before at a party. And we hit it off. It was great. And she was like, do you want to come to brunch? And I was like, sure. This is kind of fun. Like a person I just met yesterday. I'm going to brunch with her tomorrow. And I went. And it was like all these people. It was like 10 people. It was a big party.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
And just had the best time. And then at the end of the brunch, she goes, Ben – I love you. And I thought like, this is sort of weird. I just met this girl yesterday to be like already saying, I love you to someone new. But I was like, I'm going to go with this. Like, you know what, Lindsay, I love you too. You're great. She's like, thanks. And then the waiter came by.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
I was like, well, here's your bill. And she literally turns to the waiter and goes, can I just say, I love you. And I was like, excuse me. She told the waiter. She loved him. I was like, on the heels of telling me, I was like, okay, well then you said it too much. And it means nothing.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Well, she right now is just – she feels like he's troubled, but that he's benign. Not that the script says that, but I think that's where we're – I think she had to make a lot of choices for herself in this. So he's like, it's so hot in here. Can we change this? So she unplugs the heater even though it's like negative. She's freezing, yeah. She's freezing, but she's like, whatever.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
And then he's like, Kathy, I still don't understand how all this is happening, but I'm glad that you're the one who found me. Thank you. She's like, you're welcome. I'm going to report you to social services tomorrow.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
No, she's mourning. She's mourning. She's not touching. She's not doing that. She's just handing food to people, but she's not creating. She makes turkey sandwiches.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
So she goes back to her cafe. The sheriff comes around and is like, I heard that we had a strange man on the prowl. And then the deputy is like, yeah, they went streaking in front of poor Ethel Jennings. I've never seen her so horned up in my life. She's walking around in a bra right now.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
so sheriff sheriff hunter says guys this strange person who's on the prowl broke into reclaimed rags which by the way maybe work on that branding a little bit yeah i agree yeah yeah what about reclaimed whimsy like the one near ronnie's house reclaimed whimsy yes so they're like he's like look it's a blatant disrespect for law and order and this is terrible and it needs to stop
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
So meanwhile, everyone's like, okay, sure. So then we go back. Meanwhile, Kathy's house, Jack is watching TV and he's learning everything about life. So first he's watching a cooking show and we know he's going to cook something amazing because he's like mimicking how to like make a pizza on the coffee table. So we know that's going to come. We know like an amazing Jack pizza is coming up soon.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
And are you going to also watch Severance season two? Because everyone's talking about that one.
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# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3
Yeah, he just would learn things off of TV. And by the way, TV tutorials are terrible. First of all, also, there's no cooking shows on TV left anymore. If he was watching the Food Network, he would have been watching Guy Fieri doing the groceries. Shiner's driving the dives, yeah.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So they're cleaning and Vanita's like, oh, hey, I have a new outlook on life, you know. Dude, almost drowning. And I was so sad because she referenced her drowning, like her almost drowning thing, like three times. And I was like, that's so sad that to Vanita, that's like her biggest plot. You know, she's like, I did it. I have a plot. I know I'm going to make the preview cuts.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Oh, for Christ's sake. We're all allowed to choke.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Here's the thing with Benita. I worry for her because she did get the most scenes, but she's literally selling her soul to the devil to do it. You have to make out with JT to be on the show. That's just so sad. She doesn't deserve that.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah, he's gross. And then Vanita did some press this week where she was talking about JT and she said that he just ghosted her. And then next she knew he had a girlfriend, like he hard launched a girlfriend on Instagram. That's so gross. Like that guy's such a pig. Yeah, he's just for the cameras.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I stand for the truth. What did he say today? He was something like as the principles of the truth of the matter. I was like, OK, Thomas Rath analogy. You know, you know, you're going to need another bridge. OK, you don't get you don't you haven't earned that. I'm going to say this to you and Taylor. You have not earned that.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah. And because they're all so respectful to each other. That's another thing that cracks me up. I mean, they're acting this whole episode so high and mighty, like they're all so respectful of each other and they can't believe somebody starting shit at a party. That's what you do. That's what all you douchebags do.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So now we go to Taylor's and Taylor is chewing something, which is impressive because she's moving her mouth. I was like, wow, is this is this like special effects? And she's like, hmm. So then Gaston comes. Can we stop ugly shaming Gaston, especially Shep? Shep looks like a baseball glove and he's coming.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
It looks like a baseball glove with wooden teeth, with like little bits of cracker flying out of his mouth. Why is he making fun of somebody's looks? I do Gaston.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah. So she takes her dogs out and she's like, I remember the moment that I fell in love with Gaston. We were at dinner and then talking to him was like talking to my best friend. And then I was like, I want to spend so much time with him. It's going to be like a good chunk of my life. I don't want to say marriage because I don't want to jinx it quite yet. Oh, my God.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Look, does DoorDash deliver pickers? Because you need one. Get on there. Find a picker. Okay. I think Gaston's kind of cute, but he's an asshole. Okay. We all know he's an asshole. Mr. I don't want a TV. He's about to show up in five minutes to be on TV. Okay.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So she's like, yeah. Oh, she tells him this is my favorite line. I think of the episode. I'm sad you're not coming to Molly's Teva concert.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I don't know why that made me laugh so much. No, it made me laugh too. She's like, but I think Sally will be there. And he's like, yeah. And she's like, as far as the girls go, I'm in better graces with everybody. But then I heard that Sally told me that people don't trust me.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yes. I also get the feeling that Sally's like maybe kind of trying to be friends with Taylor in a weird way because they're both new girls and they both have somebody that can unite them and plot and get them scenes on the show, which is Gaston. So I think she's trying to be like, hey, come on over here. Let's talk. I'll I'll tell you some gossip. No one trusts you or whatever.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I think, you know, because when you tell people someone's talking shit about you, that's usually to try and get them on your side in some way. So I think Sally in her weird way is trying to make an effort because look, it's Charleston. They've all fucked the same dudes and the dudes have all fucked the same ladies. You know, it's just how it is. We've learned that on this show.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So it's like being in a gay bar. You can't get mad that somebody slept with another gay guy. It's what we do. You know, it's like, are you going to get mad at a knitter for wearing homemade mittens? No, that's what we do.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah, because like, look, if you meet somebody and you're like, oh, my God, that soap dish is your favorite movie. Me too. Well, my other one is big business. Oh, my God, me too. And then you're like, you know what really makes me cry every time? The color purple. Oh, my God, me too. God, I love Fantasia's voice, but she can't act. I hate you now. I hate you now. No, that's not how it is.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
You have things in common. You're like, let's go to coffee. You don't hate each other. These three have three penises in common. They should like each other. You already know you like the same things.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
No, no, the Steven Spielberg one.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And that's all you can say for the life of the. You're mixing musicals, Gaston.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So I need Sally to be here enough to bully, or Taylor enough to bully, and then she can go away again, you know?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And she's like, well, she seems happy. Does she? She seems like a walking fucking... She looks like a walking dish sponge. There's nothing going on. She doesn't even move her face. How can you tell she's happy?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So I don't know. If I saw that girl sitting at a bus stop, I'd put a straw in her mouth and help her drink.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
any song any song by sarah mclaughlin it's just like just hanging over her like a cloud so now we go to jt craig and shep going to fish together doing some manly things fish murdering innocent animals actually i eat fish um i might not after this though because fishing is gross So Craig's like, well, apparently Austin is here in spirit. Letting people live rent free in your head is a poison.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And the only person Austin is hurting by staying mad at JT is himself.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
If you point your fingers at somebody, you've got three fingers pointing at you. And then you're also giving a thumbs up to somebody. But I don't know who that person would be. You know what I'm saying?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I love that Shep just assumes that everybody has all day, every day to have hobbies. You know, some people have jobs and rent to pay, Shep. Okay. We can't all go fishing and golfing. Knit and fucking knitter.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
He's like, well, I'm hoping to cultivate our relationship and therefore fishing could be fun. I'm going to work at it, boys. I'm going to work at it. I know men are like it's a gender thing. You got to hunt. You got to fish. But I have really no interest in fishing.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And I find that when you finally catch a fish.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
But we're talking about checking privilege. I think one of the moments I had to check my privilege was when I was in therapy one time and had to talk about traumas in my life. And one of my biggest like early traumas, I guess I didn't realize was killing a fish because I remember having to kill that, like going to a dad and son thing with my dad. It was called Indian guides.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
It's pretty problematic, but that's what it was. And so we learned all sorts of like outdoorsy things like to be one with the natives. And we went fishing and we had to catch that fish. And then you have to grab it and you have to slam it into a rock to knock it out. And then you have to gut it. I've never been so traumatized.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And my dad's like, all you do is bang it and then grab a knife and slice it up. And I did not want to look at my dad for months after that. I think I still have a problem with my dad for that. I was like, that is disgusting. And how could you pass that on to me? And then I realized later, that's a privilege. You know, that's one of your biggest traumas. Going fishing. It almost killed me, you guys.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
My Real Housewives of New York storyline.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Can we please make a rule that Shep doesn't get to eat on camera anymore? I can't. I'm as traumatized as when I went fishing. And it's Shep eating while they're fishing. I can't.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I've never seen anybody get more chances than you, sir. How about that? Speaking of. How about that? I know. Then we see JT, like JT's big evil thing. I'm going to perform the first ever fuckboy exorcism.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah. So they catch a big old fish and they release it back because they're on TV and they don't want to listen to it from fucking Instagram comments.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah. So now we go to Whitney's bachelor pad in the back of his mom's house. That's in the back of his mom's house, right?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
You have a PhD in astrophysics to run the coffee machine.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And then he drinks his thousand dollar bottle of Pappy. Pappy Van Winkle bourbon. So they go upstairs and he sits next to his 20 guitars. And then Madison comes and she's like, I love this place.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Well, he has a $15,000 Japanese toilet.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
We don't have to post it on Instagram. Well, where else are you going to post your fish photo? Nowhere. You keep it. You keep it. You put it on your Apple TV things. You can slightly be like, oh, yeah, that's the time I caught a huge fish. Sorry. I don't know why that's on there. You know where I'd post it? Snapfish. I would post it in my trauma book.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Here's the thing, guys. If you're going to kick somebody off the cast, which is what you're not even being subtle about, you're all trying to ice him out from the cast. You have to do something. You can't just kick somebody off the gas and then just sit around your house all day, you know, pouring IC. Like, you have to actually do something. Keep the messy people. You have to do less, you know?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah, yeah. Also, Madison's best when she has somebody to yell at. You need somebody to yell at. He's there. Use him. Yeah.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Well, suddenly, Craig has become a bit sanctimonious and judgmental, you know, thinking that he has to move on from Austin because Austin is, you know, not behaving to his standards.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So then we go to nighttime and we're at Craig's and they're going over to Craig's after fishing. Well, Shep and Craig do. So they cook and Shep's like, I get to cut the pineapple.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Come on, Shep. Shirley in Nebraska even have a pineapple and a fucking knife.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
You guys, it's season 10 and this is your fight? Austin's mad that you named a dead fish after him. Come on, man.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So he's like, yeah, if everybody knows, everybody knows if it's up to me, we just get engaged. And then we see a flashback of that dinner where Craig goes, you know, I really want a wife and family. It just goes.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
sienna gosh i'm a real change adult thanks ayahuasca lubny no what's that it's a lebanese cheese made out of yogurt why would i call her lovely i don't know what were you talking about i love her i love her of course you do she's a fucking teenager beauty queen you fucking weirdo they um
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I don't think that would ever happen to me. Well, welcome. Welcome.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
My plan is to retire and just be the buffet. That's it. Just have that. Just be the buffet. I don't need a beach. I just want a golden corral. I want a golden corral with a bed in it.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Has she seen you eat peanuts? You're not exclusive.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah, it's rough. It's a rough life out there. It's rough out there for a tuba girl.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Investing involves risk. Acorn Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash cravens. So Molly is saying, yeah, a couple of years ago, I put on some 80s rock ballads, and then it hit me. You need to get back into music. So I picked up that tuba, and now I'm playing to Roxanne every day.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I'm excited. I don't think I'm ready for this New York City cold, though. I'll tell you that much.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So she's like, yeah, it was my calling. So I was like, always so good at it. And so the next day I sent my euphonium that I hadn't played in a decade off to be cleaned. Okay. So I was like, okay, so this is happening. And then it just kept going. This became like a 10 minute. It was like it was a full monologue about her tuba. And she's like, yeah. So I sent my film to be cleaned.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And then I contacted Charleston Concert Band, which happens to be directed by my high school band teacher. And I emailed them. And I was like, I don't know if you remember me. I'm the hot girl who plays the police on her tuba.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And he was like, Molly, of course I remember you. And then a star was born. It's like, why was that 10 minutes? Is there anybody at work?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And so, well, in his defense, it is kind of hard to find one blonde in the sea of Charleston residents. It's true. Like, how are you supposed to find it's like the fine, you know, where's Waldo? And he's like, by the way, the audience.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah, because Molly was like, I mean, I guess I do him. Like, this paycheck's decent.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Gird your loins, man. Gird them. All right, let's get into Southern Charms, Season 10, Episode 7. My main thought on this episode was, wow, I don't think I've ever seen so much tuba footage in my life. This was a lot of tuba footage. There's a lot about a girl playing a tuba, a girl who loves her tuba. Her small tuba.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And, of course, her answer is, I have the perfect dress for it. She relates everything to fashion. And then we get to Molly's big tuba.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Nailed it. She starts crying. She's like, I love music so much. I just want to do the song justice. And I did. Music really changes you. And she starts crying. She's like, I'm crying over the tuba. Like, is she doing We Are The World? I mean, it was kind of cute, but I need her to be like, are you flirting with that guy in the, you know? The pot-bellied guy over there with the other tuba?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Like, what's going on in tuba? It's just the tuba? Oh, okay. It's just the tuba. It's just a tuba concert.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
But I think it also probably says something about that remodel, right? Was it like a fridge cover door? You know how they build those doors over the doors?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah. So he pours a drink for JT. He's like, you can't have it over ice. Yeah. Man up. Have a meat. So he's like, yeah, you know, I've never disliked JT, but in difference to Austin, you know, I've always had Austin's back. So obviously you want to defend your mother's honor, too. So it seems hard to believe, you know, but you never know what's going to come out of his mouth. You just never know.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
He's the only one doing anything on this show. At least, you know, you as a producer should at least appreciate it.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Seriously, they keep talking about manners on this show, but nobody closes their mouth while they eat. I can't watch these people eat. It's like when you watch a zombie movie and the people who are starving, like they finally find a can of food in some cupboard, you know, like eight months after the zombie apocalypse. And it's like rotten green beans.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And they just start eating it with their hands and shoving it down their face. That's how this whole cast eats.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I like the girl. I mean, I really like Molly, but I don't know about this direction. I want to be in that production meeting where they're like, let's follow the girl with the tuba. You know what's going to really inspire people? The tuba segment. Let's just do a really long episode focused around a tuba girl.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
and he's like losing his mind because he's afraid that she's gonna spill it all over the place which she does not do but i actually was nervous for him as well i was for sure expecting that to fall all over the carpet and she's like i assumed that that chef who just left a half-eaten chicken tender right there he's like yeah yeah it is she only seems like a normal person with any life behind her eyes when she's around chef do you notice that because when chef's around she's like
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
What, you're only bringing one fucking plate for yourself? Nice, Shep. Go get more plates. What is this, Shep's fucking chicken wing? And then the minute it's done having to do with Shep, she's back to like, I love macaroni. I need it to not touch the sides of the aluminum.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah. And she's like, well, you know, your scab looks good. Looks better than last time I saw. That's poor guy can't win. This is the girl he declared his love for this year. And she's like, oh my God, your pit stains. Ew, your scab. I know.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah, they don't know what tantric sex is, which is crazy, right?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Well, I think these are people who also grew up with Internet. So they had access to like boobies and penises on their phones or whatever. And the rest of us were having to look at like National Geographic or International Males or books on tantric sex in our library. Yes.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
In my mind, he's like a pinky after you've been in the hot tub for too long.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So they're like, what is that?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Because you know Shep's like a two-minute wonder.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Agreed. Tantric sex is too much work. Also, it's just called kind of sex after you're 40. It just takes forever. It's like, Oh God, Jesus Christ. Can we just make this happen?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Downward dog. That says a lot, right? So then Taylor is telling JT. We go back to Taylor and JT. And he's like, well, I'm trying to be delicate here. But, you know, I just know so much about Sally and Gaston's relationship. And she's like, it was a fling. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. I moved my face too much. It was a fling. A fa-ling.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Well, maybe she was in love with him. Maybe that's why she's dragging his name because she's not over him. Well, I'm just going to say something. You're going to hate me for this, okay? But Gaston, he was cheating on my friend with Sally. She's like, no, I'm not doing that. We're not bashing my boyfriend, period. I'm going to storm out of here. I cannot stand this. Hey, everybody, I am leaving.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
He is being an asshole, just like this one. And she points at Sally. Sally's like, what'd I do? Jesus. Trying to drag my boyfriend's name. And Sally just goes, it's an easy name to drag.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Shep, the classiest, most educated one in his mind is sitting there like acting like a jackass doing doubles.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I mean, I don't know. We haven't seen that side of Gaston yet, so I can't really say. I mean, I thought his advice to her was pretty good. He's like, well, if you don't want to go, don't go. You don't need to kiss their ass. But he wasn't like, don't go. So I don't know, because that's coming from Sally. But I need to hear what Sally has to say about him first, because I can't really tell.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So embarrassing. He might as well have just been eating with his mouth open at the concert. He's so embarrassing. I can't with that guy. I know.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Well, yeah, because JT is, first of all, he acts like he's the douchebag hunter. He's like white knighting for all of these girls, but he's a simp. He just wants to bang the girl. And he's already said that he's in love with her, so of course he's going to come for her boyfriend. And if he was a real friend, he would have called her. I mean, they haven't talked in how long?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
You could have just called the chick, but you wait until everybody's there and it's a cast moment on camera, which I get that it's a reality show and everything. I'm not stupid, but...
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And I know that Taylor tries to use big words because she dated Shep for a second, but diabolical. He's not being diabolical.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
he's telling you he's here you fucking weirdo so craig's like whoa sally you just got a straight bullet well i told her i told her his name would not be in my mouth she's such an odd voice i can't really get it yet she hasn't said that much but she's like kind of a way of talking i'll get it one day but she's like i told her his name would not be in my mouth and it's not been in my mouth since my party
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And so then Taylor's telling Whitney, she's just going around, she seems panicked. She's like, he's diabolical. He's saying things about my boyfriend. Taylor, everybody's saying the same thing about your boyfriend. They all say he sucks.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
He is kind of like Thomas Ravenel, where he's always running for mayor. Like, am I the arbiter of truth? I hope thoughtfully she proceeds forward with the candid accuracy she'll need in this procedure to discover. It's like, why are you talking like that? And Taylor's like, he's making up shit. And she goes, yeah, he's making up shit about my boyfriend like this one. And she points at Sally again.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
He's playing diabolical and he's not stopping. So she leaves. And Sally's like, Jesus, what'd you say to her? And he's like, I'll tell you. I'll tell you. She just doesn't know the extent of the relationship you had with Gaston. And it's messed up. It is messed up.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Which is exactly the truth. I mean, I agree with Craig on this point. So JT is like, well, it's one of those things where where you were the other woman and it was a full blown affair. And Craig's like, wait, JT, which he's saying, Sally, you were the other woman like you had an affair with this guy. So he's a cheater. Right. Is what he's saying.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So Craig's like, well, JT, why are you doing this again? It's not your business. Taylor's not your girlfriend. But she is my friend. And as the head of sim protector everywhere, I must proceed with caution down this path of rivalry and thornery.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
But she's like, I want that. It's that Kentucky castle that Brittany got married in. The Royal American Royal Menu Classics include our 32-ounce punches, house-made beef jerky, house-ground hamburgers and patty melts, and buffalo sandwiches.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
It's a restaurant. A good one. It's got four and a half stars. Thank you very much from 961 Google reviews. Finally came to this spot on a weekend and when it wasn't super crowded, it was delicious. I loved the patty melt. Unfortunately, some slut stole my husband in the middle of my meal.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And then we see Taylor. Taylor's face really doesn't move.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
You're young. You don't need that much Botox, babe. Like, don't start doing all. I mean, get a little. You know, they say you don't get wrinkles if you start getting Botox young. But you can move your face a little bit. I mean, what the hell? The only thing that moves is her lower lip. She's just like, artistic ass. Too much.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
not a little bit so sally's like and then i found out he had a girlfriend and i'm owning my right now there i found out okay and did i stop no i kept going because i was already hooked at that point you have one bernie's penis you're never going back It's not an easy sauce to make.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
It's not a different sin. I mean, it's the same sin. I didn't know it was a sin. So would it even count as a sin? I didn't know. And then the sin discontinued because it was the original sin. What are you going to do? I kind of love Sally. She's like, it was true love. I blew him in the parking lot of a steakhouse. The Royal American. That is so fucking funny. But also, fuck JT.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Since when is he like, oh, I'm standing up for women, but then you're going to slut shame the woman. She wasn't in a relationship. He was. Fuck him. Yeah, his fault. Which I guess he is shaming him too.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
We're just going to sit in the thoughts of- What'd you say? I thought you paused. I came back onto the screen to see if our- What'd you say? Did I miss it? I said he looks mid-average, me-like. Me-like, yeah.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
saying that Gaston is so is is like deeply average looking and shocking ugly shaming anybody is ridiculous and then Vanita's like oh my god you said mid who taught you that and he's like who seriously though so Craig's like GT this is everybody's problem with you like because you say stuff and it has nothing to do with you and there's no purpose like why would you what would you like Sally to do in this moment you know now that you've brought up a whole bunch of shit that's not your business like what are you getting out of it and he's like
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I think the truth would help Taylor get out of where she is and into my Airbnb where there is now a broken mini fridge. Who broke that?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Also, no one's going to fuck you. So just stop. She's not going to fuck you just because you're telling her her boyfriend's an asshole. That's not going to get you anywhere. So cut it out.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So then Ryan is like, that's on Instagram. The Internet is forever. So then Ryan decides to come out of nowhere and have a line. I'm still wondering how he got on the poster for this show. But he's like, Ryan, you can't do this to people's lives. And this is what I've heard that you've been doing to other people. And it feels very threatening. It's like, well, you got that one out.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah. So we see a little bit of that.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And he's like, not this. I'm going to tell the truth on my friends. And that is period. And if you know someone's heading straight to a car accident and you could stop it, would you say something? Or would you let your friend get crushed? Well, I mean, I don't know. The car is already driving. What am I supposed to do? Jump in a moving car? No, fuck that.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
They're the ones who didn't buckle their seatbelt.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And we just basically see Sally like, yeah, well, sorry about your boyfriend, but people don't trust you in this group. And Taylor had a huge reaction facially. She was like, uh.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
But it's just funny listening to Craig scream about it and have this big fit about it because wasn't Craig's whole storyline last year or the year before trying to break up Taylor and Shep because Shep was like emotionally abusive to Taylor? Wasn't that Austin and Craig's whole thing is that they were having talks with Taylor? He's a real piece of shit. Get away from him.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Listen, I think you're getting the fake one when he's quiet. I think everybody else is. I think the real one is the performative one, as you probably found out when he ghosted you and started dating some chick on Instagram. But yeah, he's not nice. He's faking it. Men fake it in bed. They don't fake it out of bed. You're getting the real one out of bed.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
What are you, the fucking mayor? What? Since when is Craig the leader of everything? Go back to your pillow store, sir.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
sally cry more so i could have a double cry really embarrassing i'm trying i'm really trying jt was kicked out of this group in the first place because of you craig not because of himself you were the one who got him kicked out and now you're the one who gets to decide whether or not he gets to come back in he's such an i don't care he can have better delivery than everybody else but he's such a asshole
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
By the way, that's the first time Craig's ever been told that. You're being a really good lawyer right now.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So he like starts to leave, and then Whitney, you know, all the guys are like, we're leaving with Craig. And JT's like, that stuff's actually bullshit. That's the shit I got at the driving range right there. And I was like, wait, stop, Shep. I need you to stay. Shep, I want to know, did he call Miss Patricia a bad name? I did not.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And she's like, Shep, did you hear it?
Watch What Crappens
#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Again. Shep, Taylor is part of the wake that you've left behind of pissed off women. What are you talking about? These guys are so hilarious. So Shep's like, yeah, you know, I think that you're right, but there's different ways to skin a cat. By the way, next time on Boys Night, we should skin cats.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And Taylor's doing this thing where she's like, I'm the star of the show now. And if you look on paper... Taylor has been on the show a long time, really, but she's not the star of the show. Like, she can't walk out every episode. She can't do a flurry walk out every episode. Like, you're not Kyle Richards. I mean, it's even annoying with Kyle Richards, but you're no Kyle Richards.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
But the only thing making Taylor right now happy right now is Gaston, guys. And so JT's like, Leva, I'm not coming in on hot on you, but if I have a friend who's on heroin or alcohol, I'm not saying heroin or how alcohol makes you happy. I'm not going to turn a blind eye. I'm going to say stop drinking. They just look at him like, well, what else did you do?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
He's like, I'm going to say stop drinking. Stop doing heroin.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
It's so ridiculous. And Vanita goes after him. Yeah, Vanita runs after her yummy man. And he's like, I've had enough. I'm not going to sit in my own space knowing my truth, my heart, and knowing I'm a good man. And being talked to like this by Craig, I'm a man of honor. I'm going to always be like that. I'll stand up to the bullies. I'll stand up to the mean girls.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
What, are we going to start suing American sliced cheeses for being real? Well, I'm sorry. I will not stand it. I stand up for women. I stand up for men. I stand up for American cheese. Because that's the kind of man I am. An American cheese defender. And I will continue until the day I die down this path.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And he's like, no matter what happens to this friend group, I want you to know I ponder in pensiveness every day that I care about you, Vanita. I care about you. And she's like, well, the level of stress you provide. Hold on. Let me take a drink of this. Craig comes around and saves her. It's like, damn it. Stomach again.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
You know what I mean? You haven't earned this. Yeah. Yeah.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Hava Nagila Webber. Know Your Worth with Jason Kerr.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda Vee.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
What does that mean? In a world where we have Honey Nut, we have plain, like, it's like there's so many like colorful Cheerios. I thought you were saying she's playing Cheerios. I was like, what's that? I want to get rid of Cheerios.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. Give him hell, Miss Noel. Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
She's playing Cheerios, yeah.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah, she's off-brand Rice Krispies with no sweetener.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Um, how much do you think that is worth pillows and beer? And why would you want to still call it Pillows and Beer?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I think Paige has one that's, I don't know, she probably wouldn't call it Pillow Talk, but doesn't she do something maybe for Amazon Live that's like, In bed with Paige. And she just lays in bed because that's her thing on Summer House. Everybody says she just lies in bed all day. So she has like an Amazon Live show where she's just in bed.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah. Yeah. Sierra kind of took on the bed thing after Hannah left, but it's not really her thing yet. Her thing is messy bed. If Sierra does something, she should do like room organizers, you know, or like trash cans for your bedroom. We can throw trash away instead of putting them top of your bed.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I say I'm marinating, but that's kind of gross too because that brings up juices. That brings juices into it. I'm not necessarily marinating in juices or anything, but I call it marinating or just bed day. You know, like I need a bed day.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah, and you can sound like Carl like, oh, I do duvet day because that's how they do it in Sweden. And I was there.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
You're supposed to start rotting like after age 30 or something, right? Your body starts to decompose slowly.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Okay. So we open over at Austin's house and he's watering a plant. And this is the like, he's watering a plant. Madison snipping a plant. Hey, watch a frog. Come out of here. Little beta frog. And then Rod's spreading his face and checking his wrinkles. And he's like, wrinkle, wrinkle, little star.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
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Watch What Crappens
#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And I was proud of him for that because that was great that they came up with something for Rod for this one. Yeah. No.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Yeah. Dogs are just stuck with you. They're your prisoner and they're just used to it. My dog does that whenever I do my stupid piano practice or whenever I do the show. You guys see him in the back of me, usually just laying there like, please fucking just kill me. He's like, if I had opposable thumbs, I'd give myself the shot. Like, I can't take this anymore. You know, but he has nowhere to run.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So he just lays there and looks very sad. Doesn't want to miss the meal.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I do. Really? Yeah. Why do you think they did? You think they just did it because production told them we need a messy house for the plot? I think so. Listen, production's not doing shit for the plot. They followed a tuba all episode, okay?
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
The worst was the big wedge of blue cheese. That was just nasty. With the fly right on top, eating it all over it. It was just nasty.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
The fly is like, I didn't put that girl over. She deserved it.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
He lives on a fly plantation. He's just like, it's normal now. It's just like a normal house now. Everybody stop stressing. Why are you so mad? He's all protesting that they're trying to take down a fly statue from the 1800s.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
She's just like, please just take your margarita. Please.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
It's like plunk. The other thing that they do on this show, I mean, the music department on this show is amazing. We've always loved the music department. But another one they really do a lot is the rattle, where they go brrrr. They use like an actual rattling thing from an orchestra, and that always makes me laugh. Whenever someone says something shitty, they're like, grrrr.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
be like, I'm a pianist. And then just, you're like, okay, play me a song. Like listening to me try and play after all my piano classes.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Well, I know what's going on here because I watched 90 Day Fiancé, so I'm a really good read of character. Oh, really? How's that ring shopping going that you're doing on your own?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
So then we go back to Sienna and Shep. And Shep's like, I mean, Sienna, obviously we both came out of the gate awfully hot. Remember that time I took off my pants and you said, please don't. But I did anyway. God, that was hot.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
and then i thought maybe maybe the universe brought us together we're the big bang like maybe you would mention to me you know well we'd have the prettiest babies we'd have these beautiful kids who are smart and they'd be connected to nature and the ocean and we'd live all over together and have adventures and she's like um
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
It's creepy to me just from being a restaurant worker. When you see this kind of behavior, you break it up. You know what I mean? You're like, that's a woman who's being pestered and has a high chance of being assaulted. Period. You break it up.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
If some creepy old man is coming onto some fucking model at the bar and won't stop and starts saying like, but in my mind, you want to have babies with me. That's when you're cut off and I call you a cap, sir.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And she's just kind of looking around like. And so now and, you know, again, a lot of the discourse online is like, what a bitch. He's pouring out her heart and she's sitting there giving creepy. He's not get out of my space. He's not standing up for this man like he's a hero. Stop it.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I don't know. I'm sad because I'm not in Los Angeles right now. And I got a video on my ring cam of a cowboy coming to my house. And I don't know what that's about. But he's got a cowboy hat and cowboy boots. And he's ringing the bell and looking in the doorbell. I'm like, oh, my gosh. I'm reading Lonesome Devon.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yeah. I don't even give him enough credit and real in that. I believe that he really wants this. I don't think that he does. I think that he's purposely picked somebody who doesn't live near him and who pays him no mind. And he knows nothing about that. He figures because she's with a family that's like a fan of the show, like her grandma's in the fan club or president of the fan club or whatever.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
She's going to do whatever she wants and just be so grateful to be on TV that she'll just go along with whatever bullshit he says because he's had the worst couple of seasons as far as how he treats women. So he doesn't want to actually have to treat one well, which he would if he had to date locally and somebody who is on the show. It's kind of like Austin's doing.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
So they're dating these people who are very far away and that we never see and that will just say yes to whatever they want to do and be compliant. And the meanwhile, Shep can still be drunk every night and go fuck whoever he wants in Charleston. So I don't even believe that he really wants this. I believe he's just trying to cast somebody to fix his reputation.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I don't believe for one second he wants this because he's laying it on so thick. Like, oh my gosh, all I wanted was children and you made me think you wanted it too. She never made you think that. She won't even call you back, bro.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I think she still loves Shep.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
So it's hard for me to respect her. It's just hard. I'm sorry. I mean, I've always stood up for Taylor, too, on this show when it was versus Shep. But now that it's just Taylor... lingering around to just kind of still be in love with Shep from the sidelines.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I feel like I'm just like secreting everything right now.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yeah. I don't... It's like people who just bought a Cybertruck. You know what I mean? Like, I'm sorry. Wow. If you got one before, okay. But if you get one like today, I'm sorry.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Well, the living and laughing is when I like it. It's the stuff with the, you know, like,
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
when she was getting weird with rodrigo when rodrigo was playing the phone call over facetime or whatever on speakerphone and she was oh i don't know it's just that she seems in love with him and this isn't like blame the victim kind of thing because i didn't feel that way when she was together i mean i get that that's something where you're together with someone i just mean like after all of this like you're still in love with shep at some point i just have to walk away like as a friend
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I would be like, there are people who actually want my help in here. Get out of my anti-van. I would pull the van over and I would kick her out.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
But she's an influencer now, so she won't. Yeah. So now we go back to Shep, and Sienna's just doing that smile thing, like, please, someone save me. And Shep's like, I don't want to put you on the spot. I just, I don't even know where we stand. Will you marry me?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And she's like, well, I mean, on my end of things, I just feel like we never really defined what this relationship, I was like, do you have a doll that you're trying to throw your voice for? She's very howdy doody. Well, I just don't think that we've ever really defined things.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Life is too short to spend time with someone whose life is too short. That's what I think she's thinking. And also he keeps doing this thing with her where he's like, okay, so this is how I feel. Okay, hold off, hold off. Because he doesn't want her to break up with him and he knows she's about to. And it's just so unfair. He keeps acting like they're having these deep discussions.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
No, you are having these discussions with yourself. And then every time she tries to come back and say her side, you stop her and wait for another scene.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Like, hi, everybody. So good to see you again. I think last time I saw you was at your dog party. So nice to see you. Greg's like, bitch.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Who's Alan Richardson?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And so, you know, they're making small talk and the waitress comes over and goes, okay guys, hi, I'm your waitress tonight. Does anybody have any food allergies? And Craig goes, I'm allergic to dog.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And I also say at the same time that we haven't seen you and neither has Shep. So for somebody who's so in love, you sure haven't seen Shep much, huh?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yeah. And she's like, I'll buy more.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
So then the food comes and Austin's like, Shep, Shep. Let's go to the bar, bro. Let's go to the bar. So they go to have their little side conversation. And meanwhile, Sally's like, hey, come on in here, girl. Let's have some goss. And she's like, oh, finally, I'm at the fun part of the table. Old man McSyphilis shirt is gone. Am I right?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yeah. That's what we're looking for. Tell us more about you. None of us have anything going on at this table. Go ahead. Go on. And did you notice that Rodrigo kept speaking in this episode, but they didn't even turn his mic on. I love the production. The production's like, you are not forcing us to deal with Rodrigo. No, we're not turning on his mic.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Half the time, you just see Rodrigo's mouth talking to people, and you never hear what he's saying.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yeah. And they tell him straight up, like they tell her straight up, like Shep is this guy has this reputation. Like he treats women like shit. He's never, you know, in love with anybody, but now all of a sudden he's in love with you and it's super weird. So what's going on? And she's like, Well, I love him. He's amazing. World peace. You know, big.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I'm really big on people who don't have an education getting educated. And I don't like global warming either. OK, stop with the beauty pageant answers, honey. And so he's like, yeah, he said the love word. And she's like, oh, well, he's a great person. And we've had a lot of fun time together, not polluting oceans.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Is that a different thing?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
We could have babies. We could have little children that look kind of like you and kind of like me. And yeah, but you never let her say what she wanted to say. And then she's like, I didn't know you ever thought this. And I was like, damn it. Because it's like it's like only been like a long weekend every time we hang out, you know. So maybe she just didn't know.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And Sienna's like- Can you kind of give blow jobs in parking lots? Is that still acceptable?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And Taylor's like, um, I think that Shep has probably imagined a lot of this relationship. And I'm enjoying it as a bystander. So then we cut back to Austin and Shep. And Shep's like, whoa, are we going to wait and see, getting to know you again? What are we going to do? And she goes, yeah, this discussion isn't over. She's like, I want to talk about our future.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Well, hey, congrats. I keep getting bigger and bigger, too. He's hot. He is hot. Yeah, I know who you're talking about now. I get him confused between Jack Reacher and then the guy that Jim from The Office is. He's another one, right?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I just want to win her over again. You know, like all those other times I won her over when she wouldn't text me back after seeing me for two days. And he goes, I'm just so into her. And Austin's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, my mouth is saying a lot. And if you could read spit language, you'd understand.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yeah. And she's pretty clear. And so Shep's like, what's happening, guys? And so I was like, well, we think that maybe she's good for you. And they all start laughing. And he's like, guys, let's just not grill everybody, please. Especially dogs. Okay, Shep, Craig don't really know what that meant.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Well, Shep, she checked out to everything you said, your timeline, what you want in life, you know, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah, because you're both noncommittal, right? And then everybody just freezes and the girls start cracking up. And Austin's mad. He's like, Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ, how we disrespect the males at this table.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And he's like, God, she's probably a serial killer. Terrible energy. So now they decide to go up to Madison's room and party. And guess who else took off? The camera crew, because we don't see any of this. We just jumped to the morning. I want to see the girls talking shit about Shep. Why do you keep cutting out the girls?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Oh, Jack Ryan and Jack Reacher. Okay, well, no wonder it's confusing. Too many Jacks. Too many Jacks. Are they in the same world? They're like, well, straight guys fighting terrorists. Extended Jack universe. Yeah, one of them, I think it was the Reacher one, because he's the one I didn't know who he was, but I was like, oh, he's hot.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
At the time, I was paranoid.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And then Taylor goes to check on Molly and she's like, I feel like so much better than I did last night. I'm just like filled with charisma for the day. And then in the boys place, Shep wakes up and gets on the treadmill and then does some pushups and then eat some leftover pizza.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
But I read a headline that he's like, people are mean to me because I'm Christian. I was like, oh, be quiet. People are mean to you because you work out too much and we're all terrified of you. OK, just take it that way. Just just listen to what your mother probably tells you. They're just jealous, honey. They're just jealous.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
really? Come on. Yeah, I gotta go. And then we cut back to the suite and Madison goes, yeah, she don't like you. He's like, of course, I guess I'm going to bed now.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
So then Austin's sleeping, so Shep comes and jumps on him, and he's like, why? Why are you doing this? Why? He's like, oh, because I have to tell you, I woke up early, couldn't sleep, but I sent a text right when I woke up. And he's like, oh, God. What'd you say, Shep? What'd you say?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Well, here's hoping that you understand my feelings and exalt them. Exalt my feelings. Who talks like that? I just don't feel this way almost ever. I know that you agree and feel a lot of what I do because I've heard it from your perfect little freckled lips in my head. The same time you told me you wanted to have my babies on a beach. Small little freckled lips.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
It was so cringy. When I saw you get on the bus to school, I said, I can't wait to fill her lunchbox. She's like, how much creepier are you going to fucking make this?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And those around us can say and think what they will. But we will have the last laugh. And we will love, laugh together. And literally everything that matters. Live, laugh, love. Okay, wait for it. My TED Talk is over. Yeah, youthful, youthful reference.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
He just laughed so hard at his own TED Talk joke. And Austin goes, oh, God. Oh, God. No, wait, hold on. P.S.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Stop. Just stop. Please.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Oh, my God. You're making me cringe for you now, Shep. Dude, I respect your vulnerability. I mean, that's for sure. You are vulnerable, dude. Vulnerable.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Just over here waiting on a tiny round red carpet for you to text me back. So Austin's like, wow, I wish he would have asked me before he decided to send this. I mean, unbelievable. Unbelievable managed him. But I want to shrivel up and die for him. Okay, I want to fucking evaporate. And then they just show him evaporating from his chair. They make him disappear in his chair.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I want to evaporate into the Bahamian sky.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Well, that's the sad part about it, is that is exactly what he's doing. He just assumes that he can pick somebody, just pick some young, gorgeous person, and then you tell them, you're my girlfriend now, and then that's it. That's all he has to do. He doesn't have to ask her any questions, find out anything about her. It's just, nope, you're my girlfriend.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
He's like, the flamingo just said, have some self-respect, Taylor. And also the other flamingo said, nice to see you actually get out of bed today, Molly. So he's like, wait a minute.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
So it's a wacky scene. And then Vanita arrives at the hotel with Whitney and Ryan. And they get their little wristbands. And... They're like, who gets solo rooms? I think that Whitney gets a solo room, right?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Hold on. Let me talk to my plant. Where's my plant? Your plant's not here, Vanita. Oh, my God. Somebody get her a crutch.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Oh, God. She's really lost it.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
So, over with the guys. It's like, wait a minute. That pillow just broke up with me.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
A little bit of both. So back to the guys. There's a tray of food out in the hallway, but Austin can't get it through the door. So he's like, oh, Craig, I'm not going to do it for you. You can do it yourself. Mostly because I can't really figure out. God, I understand what it's like being Kyle Richards right now.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Wait for it. Okay. My TED Talk is over. Use vote. Use vote.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And I heard that on the after show, Shep said that this girl had told him the week before Bahamas, she's like, we need to talk. And he said, no, let's do it on camera. So that's how he fucking is. And you see, he's doing the same thing that Craig does in previous seasons, like when Naomi tried to break up with Craig. And he was like, there's no reason for us to break up.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
So Craig's like, look, your sentiment's beautiful, Shep, but it is what it is, you know? It was a good try. It was a valiant effort. Hey, why do you sound like Austin all of a sudden? God, don't put that on me. I'm the sensitive friend. I'm the sensitive one.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yeah, I mean, he's like, yeah, I don't know how Shep doesn't get it. Like, you shouldn't have to explain to someone. You just started to see why you should be together. I guess you just started to see as the caveat because I really wish they had put all of the Naomi clips in here because they're good. What do you mean break up? There's literally no reason to break up. Don't be stupid.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
You shouldn't have to force someone to love goats. They should naturally love goats.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Well, I put it out there. I said what I needed to say and stopped her from saying anything that she could say. So, you know, that's important. Because when we were at dinner last night, it was electric. It was electric. I felt a little from her, but she won't admit it. I mean, her phone just kept buzzing, buzzing, buzzing.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
So they're like, well, you're still going to have fun today with us, right? And he's like, okay, gosh, today is my day. where I stand around and be super, super sad. Hold on, watch me do it right here in front of this window as I stare at the sea. I was like, what are you, the old man in the sea, yeah? She's not into you. Stop trying to make this happen for us. I'm not buying this for two seconds.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I'm taking him down. I'm taking him down to Chinatown. I liked when she goes... Yeah, I want to get on that boat. Hey, Sally, go shake your tits. So he's like, God, why me? You're Sally. Go do it.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Like, what are you talking about? Like that delusional thing where he just won't let you break up, you know? And I think that's what Shep is doing too. The men on the show are so fucking delusional. You don't get to just go pick whoever you want and then make them like you back. That's not how it fucking works, sir.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
So yeah, JT also missed his flight. So he's not going to be there. So then we go back to the boys. Shep is going to go snorkeling and the other group is going to go to the fish fry. And Sienna says she's going to come to the fish fry and And we see clips of her being like, fish fry. That sounds so fun. That's right next to the Bahamian Sbarro. Okay, great. Yeah. Not touristy at all.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I'll totally be there. Can't wait.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
So they're like, wait, so we're separating on a friend trip. Some of us are going to a fish fry. Some of us are going snorkeling. You're going snorkeling, but your girlfriend's going to come on the fish fry. And he's like, yeah, totally natural. Okay, well, why wouldn't you go on the fish fry? This is so stupid. So why wouldn't you just go on the fish fry so you could be around her?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
He's like, whoa, we're our own people, guys. God, she's so not into you.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And Austin goes, yeah, I think that's a really good move, Shep. I was trying to be supportive. And he's like, yeah, you know what I don't like? Kicking somebody when they're down. Okay? Please. Please. You're one of the men on this show. That's all you do. And granted, it's very fun. I've been watching the show for nine years now. Don't stop. So he's like, especially if I'm kicking another friend.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
You know, it doesn't sit right with me. Unless we're ganging up on Shep to, like, not speak to him at the reunion. You know, stuff like that.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yeah, and Craig's like, yeah, but, like, look, you know how I am, though. Like, if someone's not making you feel nice, I don't want to be fake nice to that person. And Chef's like, what's Sienna called? Oh, my God, Sienna called! Sienna called! Sienna called!
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Sienna called! Live, laugh, love. Live, laugh, love. I'm just a boy. A boy standing in a baby cradle. Who wants babies that look like you?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And she's like, well, yeah, about the fish fry. I don't really know if I want to take that down. OK, you're not into tech talks. How about Teddy swims? You can come snorkeling. She's like, no, I just like I'm sick and I just I drink alcohol and I don't drink and I just I just know.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
well okay no big deal you know i mean that text i sent you right that was pretty epic pulitzer winning poetic i don't know choose a word choose a word and she's like she's like yeah about that text it was really intense and i do want to talk about it oh no no no no don't do it now don't do it now
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And she's like, yeah, okay. So he's like, okay, well, I'm just going to hang with the crew and not feel any sort of way. Okay, so this is more proof that this girl does not give a crap about being on this show. Everybody's saying she's using Shep to get on this show, but what is she using him for? She even got a scene.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I feel like the producers were like, okay, she clearly hates Shep, but we want to know more about her. So we'll just send her with a friend group and not Shep. And she's still like, no.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Dear Krabby. So Shep's like, well, I think there's something so special that we had that, you know, like, how could you ignore it? How could you turn away from it? I'm a rational guy.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I guess that was a different
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Well, that's – I think we've all been in these positions, right, where you like somebody more than they like you and you end up embarrassed and years down the line you kind of think back on it. We were children. You know what I mean?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
That's like a huge difference because it changes the levels. It's not just a normal thing. It's like him trying to impose his will on some young girl. It's creepy. Like it's just creepy. The other stuff, I mean, I think that's like totally, that's cute. That's actually really cute.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
There must be some tourists in the atmosphere.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
No, you're not. You're not. You're not. No, you're not. She doesn't like you, okay? So Craig says, she should have texted you back and said, I love you too. Like, I mean, come on. Like, don't let it fuck with your day. He's like, it's not. It's not.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
The point was I was going to have a big victim vacation so girls in bars would feel sorry for me and I can continue to get laid for the next five years to go off that goodwill. So I think it's working, guys. Just let me sit here and pretend to almost cry for a little bit.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I'm team Sienna in this. And not just because Shep's a dried up old monkey paw. But I think that, I don't know where that came from, but I think that she's completely lovely. She shows up. She smiles. She's very nice to everybody, all of his friends. She's very polite. Like, what do you want from the girl? And Craig's like, oh, my God, I read her character the second she walked in.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Sorry, we froze.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
We froze at 104. Sorry, Christina, cut it out. Okay, go from the part where... I guess you just finished Taylor's line.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
a good call good call that way we don't have to talk to anybody right we can just stare at marine life you know and i mean there's just so many fish in the sea right taylor right right she's like came watch you flop around gasping for air like whatever fish we run into oh well this will be fine
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I can't wait to try my TED Talks joke out on the angelfish.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
No, you can speak on behalf of him. I'm sorry, I thought he was done. Okay, well, I feel bad for him, honestly, because, you know, like, I think he's being a little simpy. He's just being a little simpy. I mean, it's sad, but honestly, Shep has been digging into my relationship since I met him. And I'm so glad they put this in here, because Shep's like, I'm just such a good person, bullshit.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Intercut with all the times he was an asshole to Madison. So we cut back to 2018, and she's like, why are you getting involved in my relationship? And he's like, oh, he's like, I have every right to. You know, I thought you were stronger than a tire iron, but apparently not. Yeah. And you know what? Someday I'm going to find somewhere that's sunny and amazing and gorgeous.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And she's like, and be alone. Be alone, Chip. He's like, and be alone.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
What did she do? She walked in, smiled and said, hello to you all. Like, why is she such a bad person? What about some fucking old creep who's stalking a girl 20 years younger than him? He's a fucking stalker and he's a creep. And you think girls like this don't have to deal with old fucking gross men like this all the time. Just coming in and being like, oh yeah, baby, I'm going to take you away.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yeah. So then we go back to the snorkeling van and they're still talking about Sienna because no one hasn't, like literally no one has anything going on. Molly's like, so has Sienna messaged you? And she's like, he's like, oh yeah, she did. She did. And I made the decision to take the night off, take the day off, you know, just enjoy myself.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
totally my decision i said you know what sienna i hope you get a stomach ache and stay home and she did so still in control of the situation yeah you know wow i don't know yeah oh yeah because there's just there's just like a strange energy i don't know you you got me as as to what we're what it's all about like but i'm not gonna
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Gosh, don't water plants that don't bring beauty. It's not your plant. Stop watering other people's plants.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And Taylor tries to keep going with this. She's like, yeah, like sometimes you're watering a plant It just needs to be repotted.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And Molly's like, yeah, I think it somehow makes sense to me. I don't know. So then they go snorkeling and it's really pretty, you know? They have fish charts. That's Ryan's line for the thing. He's like, guys, they have fish charts. We can see the kind of fish that we're going to be shopping for. Looking at.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
He's terrified. I know. And he looks so cute, too. We don't know anything about this man. So now the other group is having food. And then we see Craig talking about how great it was back living in the Bahamas.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
We're going to fucking get married and have babies and do all of this shit. She's heard it 9 million times, Shep. You're not the first person to come on to this girl. She's a fucking 25-year-old beauty queen, dude. Now, that said, she came out with some TikToks, and they're painful to get through. Really? They're painful. Her side of the story or whatever.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Um, so Sally was like, well, I think the, the boat ride is going to be fun if that works out tomorrow. And he's like, well, I just don't think Sienna should come. She's like, yeah, she gave us bad vibes. He goes, yeah, I don't want to go in on her too much. Even though I went on her when I woke up and then went on her on the ride here. And then I'm now going to go in on her again.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
But like, I've never felt the energy of a person I felt coming off of her. Like I never, ever met someone with that energy. And then we see a clip of her coming in and going, hi. And him going, uh,
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I guess. I don't care. So Ryan's like, we did this because of you, Shep. This is a great trip. So thank you.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I just hope this is a wake-up call to maybe date people his own age. How old is Taylor? Yeah. You were part of that, too. She's 30. Oh, okay. So you're four years different. Huge difference, Taylor.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
What about that?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
She's like, no, I'm right and you're wrong. It's going to hit the water and go straight in. And then Molly goes, actually, you're a little high above the water. You need to adjust. And she goes, don't help him. Taylor's like, don't help him. And then he skips it.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Well, her side, apparently, is that Whitney, she didn't contact Whitney at all. Because the claim on this show is, of course, Whitney saying, oh, she contacted me before she ever contacted Shep's mother. Which is not true. He actually contacted her first on Raya and she posted the receipts online, which I thought was hilarious.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
There's Shep, Shep being mature. I'm gonna skip some stones. So then at the other place, Vinny does phone dings and we find out that JT has landed. And they're like, wow. Well, I hope he got some little airplane wings on the plane. That's what they give little boys.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
He's like, what? Tell me. I didn't mean to say something bad. He's like, I understand. No, dude. You know what? It's not cool, man. It's not cool. Okay. Because, like, he really wants it. He really wants it. I'm very angry. And so Austin's like, you know, Craig says that he's always rooting for everybody. But I have far more empathy than Craig does.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I love that it always comes down to a competition on the show. It's not really even standing up for Shep. It's just like, I'm the pathetic one.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I mean, yeah, you don't hang out with your friends. You tried to dump Shep last year and kind of Austin this year. So, listen, I'm not even saying you were wrong in that. I was kind of on your side in that stuff.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And then she's talking about basically she's trying to go on and on about Shep. I wish that I could recap all the tea, but I fell asleep every time. She's not someone who's going to be known as a great orator. Let's just say that. Oh, OK. But still Team Sienna, you know, awkward, awkward TikToks aside. I'm still Team Sienna. He's gross. He's a stalker.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And so Madison's like, I know. And he says, well, like, things haven't been the same with me and Austin since all this started. Yeah, but y'all are like brothers. Yeah, but he doesn't like me, though. Like, I just don't know why he hates me. Maybe because last week you tried to fucking take his business away from him for $30,000. Like, hello, are you watching the show that you're on, sir?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yeah, it's pretty clear to everyone else. So then back at the table, Sally's like, well, where's everybody else? There's like literally no storylines. And Austin's like, well, Craig and Madison are down by the water talking. Like, I'm just trying to keep a copacetic. And yeah. So then we go back to Craig and he's like, I can see it in his face.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Like, I know he loves me and he doesn't want to hate me. But when he looks at me, I see his face twinge. Well, look, in his defense, his face twinges. Every second of the day. I've never seen Austin's face not going.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I think y'all will always be friends. I mean, as long as there's a television show. He's like, that's good. That's what I want. And so that's it. The saga continues.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Hava Nagila Weber.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Bee. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay Dees. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
And his friends should say, stop coming on to children so strongly. At this point, you're disgusting.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yes, we canna, it's Sedana.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I'm such a great judge of character. Didn't you invest in JD's business? Shut the fuck up. You're not a good judge of character.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
He's like, I gave him $100,000. I mean, he's such a good guy. Person who was friends with Thomas. Person who stood against Catherine. Person who, get out of here with your judge of character, Mr. Schmidt.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I want you to see me in my underwear. Surely that'll change the course of our relationship, Shep. No, you don't. Okay, here's two things that you don't want this woman to do. See you in your underwear. And what you eat and you proceed to do both of those things. Okay. Don't ask me why none of this worked out. It's plainly clear, sir.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Hello. Well, yeah, of course. Of course. Of course.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Vanita, base time is the salad. Molly, you need to, okay. I'm sorry, Ben, that I keep going off. We're not going to make it anywhere in this room. And by the way, I was like this before the recap, too. I just kept talking.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I'm so sorry. It's rude. But I just have to say because of this Molly thing.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yeah. Now I'm in a cow sweater. What do you think?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I'm going to go off on a strip. Andre Leon Talley over there. Molly, this is not only to you. This is for half the cast who missed their flights. OK, you guys, this is a job. You have to show up and do your fucking job. Molly, just being in bed all the time. Molly, here's what you've given this season. A tuba and complaining about being fat when you're as big as my pinky. Okay?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
That's all you've given us. Now, I like Molly. I'm glad she's on the show. I'm actually somewhat interested in the tuba journey. Okay? Somewhat. But that's just a somewhat. You need to get your ass out of bed and go to work. Okay? And everybody who's showing up late, what is JT showing up late for? Get your ass to work. You're barely even invited on this trip, sir.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Vanita, you've done nothing but shoot scenes with your dog. except for maybe two episodes this season. You do get extra points for trying to pretend that you can stomach JD, okay? I do give you extra points for that. You need to show up for your flight, ma'am. All of you.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Oh, okay. Well, that would make me happier.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Oh, God. This episode's so fun for people who want the men on this show to get their comeuppance. It's so fucking funny.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yeah, I get people with migraines and all of that. I just feel like a lot of Molly's stuff is like, eh.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Well, I think in the Bahamas you're allowed. I think the biggest defense was his shirt because his shirt looked like an STD under a microscope. I don't know why he wore that shirt. You look like syphilis, sir. Why are you dressed like syphilis and trying to woo this girl? Please don't eat. And then he eats. I just, I do love Sienna's face though.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Cause her face in this entire episode is like, and she's always looking down and away from him. Like, just don't look at him. Don't look at him. Get that signature for your grandmother and get the fuck out of here.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yeah. Also, if somebody tells you off camera they need to have a talk with you, don't save it till on camera. Because I think in this girl's mind, she's like, I'm clearly trying to break up with you and you know it. And now you're forcing me to look stupid on TV or you're trying to villainize me on TV and act like we've been together this whole time, which we haven't been.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
So then they head to dinner, and Craig and Austin are gossiping with the gang. And Craig's like, so no word on what happened upstairs. And Austin's like, dude, I haven't even heard from him. I'm sure he's just going to join us for dinner at some point, right? What's going to happen? What's going to happen with Shep?
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
I even said last week, I know that I'm speaking from a place where someone's going to write me and talk about how stupid I am for not knowing what a K-1 is. But even when I Googled it and then people were like, you guys really have to watch 90 Day Fiancé. No. No.
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#2737 Southern Charm S10E11 Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)
Yeah, if I wanted to watch a bunch of old white men try and talk people from another country into pretending they're attractive for $10,000 a year, I'd go to the country club. My dad golfs. You see that shit all the time over there. And you know what else you see? People like Sienna looking at the men like this. Because they're like, hey, honey, I can give you a good life. I can see our children.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
That is a really fun, that is like a, cause you're making them do all the work for it, which is as for me, I really, well, and my, and my method is high risk. Cause you know, if you're not, if you're not like number 25, then when you go up to someone and say, excuse me, what number are you? Because I'm B27. They go, I'm B26. I go, okay, great. I'll just stand right behind you.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
You immediately bow to them. You're like, okay. I'm like, you know what? I tried it.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
It wasn't intentional. Can I get you a beverage? Anything you need. You're higher than me. Whatever you need. Go ahead.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
fuck you know and it just feels so good but you know what i hate i hate when it's like if you're b25 to b30 you're in that little section and then b31 tries to sneak in i'm like no no no no no you're in the next tier down yeah you're like in a different neighborhood fool get out yeah let's try it um so madison's like well don't worry ship will be all right
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
So when, I don't know, but like all I know is that when Sienna gets detained by border control, she will then have to, they'll have to say, who wrote this K-1 for you? A guy who runs a pillow company?
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
he's just referencing the latest form that jerry told him about he was like hey chef i mean hey hey craig can you get me a k1 i mean as a lawyer i could like write her like a k1 and a w9 and a w42 and a k9 and a b25 b30 special k the cereal not the drug
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yes. So Shep goes to Kenny Flower's Flagship and Cabana Club, which is, because it's Charleston, a place where you buy clothes. And the clothes sound about as good as that title. So he's like, gosh!
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Well, here's something with drinks and cocktails on it.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
So Molly shows up and she's also going to buy some, she's going to help him buy clothes, but she's also going to look for a bikini. And he's like, gosh, I love shopping with girls. And then we see a flashback to shopping with Cameron back in 2013. I can't believe the show's been on that long. She's like, no, Shep, that looks bad, Shep. That looks good, Shep. That looks bad. Come on, Shep.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
that's what i want to hear right yeah yeah so um shep is just saying that he's like trying to try to buy something that a girl would find attractive it stands to reason um yes so of course that's why you're here at mr furley's boat shop whatever this thing is called selling flowers boat and buckle
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yeah, this is don't give. Okay. Shark. The shark tooth thing is. The shark tooth thing is really, like, that is such a bad, like, oh God, how did this guy get an entire show called Relationship Shep if he's handing out shark tooth necklaces? It's just mortifying. But the fact that it's not, it's a recycled gesture is really the worst part of all. Like, oh God, I'm mortified.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
And I'm also mortified that, like, Molly is not steering him in the right direction because he's like, gosh, is that douchey? And she goes, no, why is that douchey? It's a gift.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
She goes, well, it's weird when like the vibes change and you're like, oh God, what do I do now? Kind of like me standing here in a bikini in front of you and you haven't even seemed to notice. He goes, I know, I'm cool.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Well, you know, the bond between Vanita and I is a beautiful thing. And like timing could be a mean motherfucker, I guess, especially if you never really had any intention to date her in the first place. So she he's basically like, but we do have this great friendship. And now we know there's a line we won't cross. And that's kind of how it works. Oh, geez.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
so he's like well i actually feel really good because shep shep invited me to the bahamas you know and we see a flashback to that and he goes i generally you know i generally like madison and i liked our friendship and i want that friendship back it matters to me but you know uh like i think that she's gotten a version of the truth that's been skewed and y'all want to work on that no she's not going back it's not happening anytime soon
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yeah. And also I think that like part of it is that production is holding them back and it's like, okay, you guys join the next day. Surprise. And we want everyone to get mad about you the night before. So, um, uh, so anyways, he's talking about the suits he's going to bring and he talks about bringing in, bringing his birthday suit. And she's like, no, not an option.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
And then they talk about how all the sofas in the apartment are bunny, pick them out, which is real fun. And JT's just hoping like, you know, if I'm there with Madison, the group, I think it'd be a great chance for, you know, to have a really chill way of conversing with her and hopefully building a bridge back. I'm like, based on both of you, I don't see any chill conversations happening.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
I think that ship has sailed many times over.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
So Vanita is like, you know, your emotions do get the best of you like they do for all of us. And like he's already said, that's a problem for him and he doesn't like it and walks away when you do that. So don't give him the opportunity to keep on winning. Basically, she's like, stop trying to like get in his face. It's not going to work.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
So now we're at a restaurant and Austin is there not wearing his short sleeve Navy polka dotted shirt. And Rodrigo shows up and they say hi and everything.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
He's always surprised when he's given a solo scene.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yeah, he told me too. He literally looked like a sad fucking puppy dog. And he looked like somebody had kicked his insane how stupid he looked right there.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Rodrigo's like, that's how it seemed. When he called me, I was out to lunch with Taylor and I could just hear it in a voice. Oh my God, this person's coming to our table. They're holding a little piece of paper. Oh my God, oh my God. Yeah, it's the waiter. It's a menu.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
I mean, I know they're on reality TV, but that's a shit friend move. Yeah, it is. I agree. That's a classic move that happens on reality TV all the time, but that is a shit thing. And so Shep is talking about Sienna and he's like,
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
And there's just like, I feel like, you know, I feel sort of helpless, honestly. And as accomplished as she is, she's still pretty inexperienced at times, you know? And I understood the context of that, basically saying, you know, she has done a lot in her life, but she's still 26. She's still like kind of immature, right? You know? And then Taylor, this sets Taylor off because then she's like,
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Shep could only wish he was getting mixed messages. It turns out he's not getting any messages at all. That's the problem, okay? Read the writing that's not even on the wall. Just move on.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Okay, relax, Taylor. Come on. Let's not let your damage show too much.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Steven Freud. Original Dr. Wonderful. So they're basically like, okay, great. So then we go over to Taylor's house, by the way. And Taylor is trying to figure out how to use WhatsApp because her mom has an Android. So that's a struggle for her. And I get it.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yeah. She always has like a little scarf. She's like, okay, Taylor, I picked out a great scarf for our television phone call today. So they're talking and Taylor's talking about, Leslie asks like, so what's your strategy for this coming week in the Bahamas? And she goes, Taylor's saying she's gonna keep her distance from Shep and everything.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
And he seems really insecure in his relationship, et cetera. Really?
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yeah. And then what we see, so on the heels of her saying there's girl drama, we see Taylor, you know, going after Sally and everything. But then we come back to the present and then Taylor says, but we actually had like a really fun girls night. And there was really good energy. And I think I'm really excited to hang out with them. And we see flashbacks.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
So the night before, all the girls got together. They had a fun time. Taylor and Sally buried the hatchet. Everything was good. Taylor got drunk. She was dancing up on a wall. And I kind of felt like this was sort of shitty of the producers because Taylor...
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
She is personality challenged and it looked like she actually had a scene where like her personality kind of like flowered a bit and I was having fun and was being silly and they just, they're relegated to like a quick clip.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
And then, and in fact, the truth is we watch all these scenes of the guys together and we know this is a show about the guys, but like, I think we were owed like a scene of the girls all being together. So I think this was, I think this was shitty. I think we should, we should have seen the scene.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Been waiting many years to use that pun on the show. Finally using the Paige pun with the Paige scene.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yes. I mean, look, it's a girl, you know, it's just the way it's their thing. So, um, now we see now it's time to start the, it's, this is actually a shocking way to start the episode because first we go to, um, Sally's where she's, um, she's like, she's, uh, skateboarding, but like her dog is like trying to run along with her and like get on the, on the skateboards. It was like, it's, it's cute.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Beta. So then Taylor goes, I have a question, Shep. How long have you guys been exclusive? Well, I know on my side, it's been three months.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
I don't think that... You fucking stalker. I don't think that's how exclusivity works. I guess it does. I guess it can work that way. But they're like, what about on her end? Baby garstier.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Well, Shep told me he was exclusive. He just hadn't told her yet, which is healthy.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Well, I don't remember him ever sitting me down and just saying, hey, I just want you to know that, like, I love you and I care about you and I see a future with you. So, like, that's a huge moment. Well, I'm sorry it didn't happen with you, Taylor, and that should have been the moment that you should have left this man, to be honest.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yeah. But then she also says, oh, well, he did tell me he loved me within the first two weeks of us talking. And I was like, very drunk. He was like, I love you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Taylor. I mean, how many more red flags did you need?
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yeah, that dog did almost get run over in the process. But I was just like, oh, okay, it's a skateboard and a dog. Usually those concepts lead to cuteness. So then we go to Taylor's house. You know, there's so many videos of dogs and skateboards.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Well, you deserve better than that. I mean, have you thought about going to the parking lot of a steakhouse and trying to get a blow job for someone? Because that could be where love could find you.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
I highly doubt that it's miscommunication on her end. I think that you have something really good in front of you and you're kind of fucking it up right now.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
She's not stringing him along. What part of her not answering the calls or the messages says that she is stringing him along? She's just probably in a situation where they're like producers reached out to her and said, hey, we're going to do this vacation down here and we want you to be part of it. And she's like, well, it would be cool to be on this TV show. So I'll do this. But I don't know.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
That's not enough to be a string along for me.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yeah. And then Craig's basically telling Taylor, you guys have some unresolved stuff. Oh, wow. Congratulations, Craig, for picking up on that.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Well, would you come around if your name was being absolutely smashed? I'm like, you're still here. So, I mean, Shep kind of dragged you through the mud.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
sally's like i'm just keeping my mouth shut i'm like not gonna be in the middle of this so uh well cheers to the girls that are in our lives who will always be in our lives because we have really great relationships and they have not made any indications that they're deeply unhappy with us cheers so now shep's phone chimes and the girls get in the pool and he's like oh my god she's coming she's coming at 6 45 she'll say hello and then we're gonna meet him at dinner and oh my god you guys you need to help me
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
So then we go to Taylor's house and she's feeding Penny a chicken nugget from Bojangles. And Taylor's like, I don't feel like making my bed. And then really, you know, her personality just continues to develop.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Just remember. Literal wingman. I think you should just remember that you're fun first and not overthink it. That's the best case. Yes, Shep, fun first. Cut to Shep sitting in a chair with his, like, ankle going 60 miles per hour. Very fun. A very fun person.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
So now they're going to go to their room. And what they're going to do is create the most fun environment ever. So that when Sienna comes in, she'll fall right back in love with him. Which, by the way, the fact that you're happy to do this whole sort of teen comedy kind of moment here shows that this relationship is not functioning.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
yeah so austin is like well i just think that shep is being like very dejected if he doesn't hear a lot he'll be very dejected if he doesn't hear like i want to be with you you know the whole thing with him and sienna is like so weird to me like for someone who's as smart as he is like for someone who can triangulate the way he can like he could be like a bit thick to what somebody's trying to tell him like it should be pretty fucking cut and dry at this point in time
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
This poor girl has, I mean, like I'm mortified for her to watch this back to see the amount of like consternation and drama happening behind that door in anticipation of her arriving. It's so silly.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Hey, Sienna, let's make some small talk. How many generations have you guys been here? She's like 12. He goes, oh, really? That's awesome. I'm like, I feel like there's more to that story and it might not be as awesome as he's like, yeah, that's pretty awesome. I'm like, that might not be my response. But Craig is like, I've never felt someone's aura like this in my entire life.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
No, I meant that I read Rita Ora's biography. It was really good.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Put it right on there. And then we go to Shep's house and he is getting out of bed and he's in his underwear and little Craig is there. And so the reason why this is so shocking to me is that we have a people doing things with their dogs opening. And who was not there? It was Vanita and Charles. I was like, Vanita and Charles kind of pioneered this genre of opening scene.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
I didn't. I don't even know who she is.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
yes so are you joining us for dinner she's like yes i would love to join my good friend shep for dinner my friend my friend shep gosh i think i still have a chance so craig is like oh good so then they get out of there basically and now it's just shep and sienna and he's like gosh oh god by the way i just want you to know i'm not dressing like this i need your consultancy
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Oh my God. Oh my God. It's just, it's just so awkward.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yeah, exactly. So that was it. That was a hilarious episode. It was so cringy. Everyone have a great weekend. We'll be back next week with all our Southern hospitality and traders and Potomac, all that good stuff. And don't forget today is your last day to watch with the crappies on Kiswe. So go to watch with crappins.com and we'll see you on the road. Also in a few weeks. Thanks everyone.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
And I don't know how they're not included in it.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Some of us run to cars, not skateboards.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
So then we go to human Craig's house and he's got all sorts of stuff on the counter and he puts on a cowboy hat. And then he sits down to FaceTime Paige and she's like, um, what are you wearing? Have you been doing ayahuasca? Please take that off in my presence. Okay. You know what, Craig? I'm just going to break up with you. I was blindsided.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
i told you i can't play i can't date anyone in a white cable knit sweater and a stupid felt hat we're breaking up so you will marry me so then um uh then his phone rings and madison it calls and so he sort of puts them all together on to facetime to have a group chat because they're gonna like be you know because madison i think madison is one of the few people that page likes
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
So Craig is like, so I think the whole group is going to the Bahamas. And Madison's like, I know, I feel bad because we still don't know what's going on with Brett, you know, because he's got that, you know, he's got the throat thing or whatever, the liver thing. So we see flashbacks of him and dealing with cancer and everything and trying to figure it out.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
And so she's basically saying that she's going to go on this trip because he's going to be in California and Hudson's going to be out of town. So what's the point of staying home and worrying?
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
I know. Honestly, it's a little bit of a draw, if you ask me.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
What a great point. Happy Valentine's Day. It's a ghosting episode.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
I'm just saying, Charleston. So... So she's just going to, and then she makes a comment. They're just sort of bantering. And then she goes, well, listen, you know what?
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
And then Paige goes, you and me too, sister. God, pregnancy, the worst. And of course now Madison is pregnant.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
I booked a really important session with myself and my iPhone in my bed. So have fun in the Bahamas.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
And not even a full-size tuba. Like, that's gross.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Well, just in case. So Craig's like, well, I'm excited to meet Sienna. But like, poor Shep. He was kind of like spinning out a little bit at dinner. And then we have a flashback to Austin asking Shep if they talk every day. And Shep is like,
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
As his like feet are like rattling beneath the table. And Craig is like, you shouldn't have to force someone into liking you. If the person likes you.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Please. Please. If the person likes you, they'll make time for you. And they'll definitely want to be pregnant with you.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
It's an insecurity that I've dealt with because Paige is so busy and you know, her career is like one of her biggest priorities. And I had to learn how to exist in that world by refusing to move up there and existing in her world.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Dr. Wonderful's like, why don't I get a superhero movie? I'm literally Dr. Wonderful. Like, no. Let me give it to Dr. Strange.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen a hot guy emerge from a Lambo or a Ferrari or any fancy car. I think the greatest chance you have of seeing a hot guy emerge from a car is to keep an eye out on a Toyota Corolla. Let's be honest. That's going to be a hot guy vehicle because he's spending all his money.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yeah. Yeah. No, I like hot guys like they just spend they spend all their money on the gym. So they just don't have money for life.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
There, we said it. So Paige is like, I can't believe that Sienna is kind of like ghosting Chap, but like also still hosting. I'm just like confused by it. But at the same time, I love the passive aggression that she's doing. So I kind of like her.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
I thought we didn't go sit there and watch Jeff get dumped.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Hold on. Group one is boarding from my bedroom to my kitchen. So I'll text you when I land tomorrow.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Because, you know, Paige, even in her fictional flights, is flying at, you know, top tier boarding class. I've been around Southwest. Oh, you did, didn't you?
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
At least for the next six months, because then they're going to start closing down open seating, which is a real sad, sad, sad state of affairs. We can't have those power plays anymore.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
I really, with Southwest, I really get off on the micropower plays. Like, you know, like you got to, you know, there's like the section that says, oh, B25 to B30. And then you're B27. And there's like someone standing like at the front of the five person section. And you're like... Excuse me, which one are you?
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Or you know, or the best is when you have like B25, so you know you're the front of the section of your little five person section. And there's always like a lady there who's like harried. And then you say, oh, excuse me, what seat are you? As if you don't know that you are entitled to be the first one in the five person section. And she goes, oh, I'm B31. Oh, oh, you know what? I'm B25.
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#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yeah, that's our first one back after our little mini break here. I'm excited to go get some more of that Cincinnati chili skyline. That was fun when we did that last time.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Especially when it's told by a full cast like that. Like, it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Just... Someone doesn't want a piece of chicken. You eat the piece of chicken. You marry the piece of chicken. That's...
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Yeah. And I mean, I do. I'm not being sarcastic that it should be that easy. It shouldn't be like, oh, my God, I got to go on plenty of Gorsha and find somebody. Oh, this is going to work. No, you should go to the leftover bin. See what's in there. See something you can handle for a little while. Just marry it.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Go to audible.com slash crappins and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's audible.com slash crappins.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And she's like, it is night and day. Look, look at this example of our love. Back to the pickleball court. My hair is falling out all over the place. Well, that is like Marilyn Monroe style. Yeah. Hey, do I have a comb over it like Trump? Yeah, it's great. I love, don't say it. Oh, sorry. We're on Bravo. Wait till season two.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
That's a numerology for lots of sperm, for sure. And he's like, I can see him screwing on a silencer and breaking into a room. Yeah.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And she put out an Instagram response to that or something that was like, you literally emotionally abused me on national TV for years. And you really think my family wants me to be with you? Oh, my God. Did you see our farm?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Find sales on show-stopping proteins like Whole Foods Market Beef Brisket, Golden King Crab Clusters and Lobster Tails and their new organic spiral cut bone-in ham.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
That's all. At the very least, I need to start telling everybody now that my uncle's old drunk friend from college has been Facebook messaging me. So they're not shocked when you show up.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
No, even though she's younger. Oh, no, I'm sorry. Sorry, Sienna's younger. Yeah, this chick's younger. And so it says, we see a picture of CNN Shep, and it says 26 and 44. Ding!
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I want to go to Paris with somebody that I could be the father of. That's it! Also, who could possibly take care of me and fix ruptured spleens and such, and et cetera, et cetera. I got the best of both worlds. I got someone to pass STDs on to, and then somebody to nurse us through it.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I'm good enough to play pickleball with. Gaston made me know that much.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So Gaston beats her, which I like, because there are shades of Shep already in Gaston, first of all. Because don't you remember in the beginning, Shep was like, hey, sweet poogie dookie. He was like that, too, in the beginning. That's how Gaston is. Hey, babe, you know you want a pickle? Hey, great job, babe. You did a great job on that pickle hit.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And then it ends with him kicking her ass and being like, ha ha, beats ya. Like, well, I see shades of your past here. Yes. Enjoy. And he goes, yeah, you tried. You tried. It's time for a commercial.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And he's like, I need my Navy SEALs here, if you will, of design and creativity. My mama, Bunny, and my sister, what's-her-face. So, you know, if you look around, you'll notice this is the biggest Airbnb in all of this part of this block of downtown Charleston. So...
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
He's like, I don't identify as rich, but I do feel like I'm doing well. You know, I had like eight other Airbnbs. They're very valuable. And this one, this one has hotel zoning and that makes it very popular, which is why I bought myself a cake pop with the money my left, my mama left on my Starbucks card.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And the mom and Nicole have made him a painting for his new place. And he commissioned it. He commissioned it. You commissioned, you asked your mom to paint something. Hey, sorry, Ben. I commissioned my mom to give me a ride to the airport. Gotta go. It's a bunny original. I commissioned a bowl of soup from mama. So thanks, mama. This is delicious.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Can't do a pain of that. So, yeah, he really loves the Charleston marsh, guys. Tourist! Tourist! That is such a tourist thing. Like, wow. What is that? It's a marsh. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It's a lot of mud, kid. It's a lot of mud. So he's like, the cherry on top of this house is that ultimately it became this hotel. And so they make him close his eyes.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
They could surprise him. And it's a marsh. It is a painting of a marsh. Marsh! That's what Shep knows he's found his soulmate. When he meets somebody that's like, oh, Marsh. Gorsh. No, Marsh. Gorsh.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So he puts the painting on the ground. She's like, oh, it's killing me that that painting is laying on the floor. He's like, well, actually, I need some advice, y'all, because I've apparently disrespected Miss Patricia. What do you think of that? Because I gave her a cane. And they're like, oh, my God, a cane? Why the fuck would you give her a cane? He's like, because everyone got a cane.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
You know, be supportive of me. And they're like, oh, you idiot. You're not even walking with your cane, right? You're walking with your cane on the floor. leg. He's not even walking with his cane on the hurt leg. Has anybody else noticed that?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
How dare you? How dare you speak to a woman like that? He's like, well, I thought it was cute. It wasn't cute. I thought it was fun. It wasn't fun.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
jessica or whatever your name is just draw a picture of a marsh and send it to patricia okay everyone loves a marsh marshes fix everything i think that's a well-known fact okay so can you get can i commission a small marsh picture we can put an envelope and send to miss pat thank you so much uh she actually does give the best idea she goes you should never give her a cane honey you should only give her a martini he's like
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So Molly's like, I figured you were doing something really important if you're going to ignore me. And so I just have like a cute little mom daughter relationship. And we find out a little bit about Molly. She was born in Barnwell, South Carolina, which is just the most southern thing I could ever hear of. I was born in a place called Barnwell. They do Barnes well there.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And... My evil brother was born in the town over. Barnes sick. Everyone knew he was trouble. Everyone knew. Everyone knew.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And we see basically Molly's trajectory in this story settling, right? She tries one thing. It doesn't work. So she just moves to the next thing. And the first thing that even kind of works, even though it's not necessarily her passion, she just jumps on because it's easiest.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
and i think we see her love i think we see her love trajectory playing out on this show here it is yeah thanks for being so on the nose molly and also watch out because i kind of like you and you're like settling to the degree that you have settled to in this episode is so sad i can't it's it's like a tuba song it literally is like a tuba song god molly's whole story is going to be played by a euphonium
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
It's going to be scored by a euphonium.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I didn't speak to your ass for a week after that one.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Yeah, it was a euphonium, and we actually had a listener that was like, um, that's a euphonium. And I was like, oh, God, stop making up fucking words.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I ain't repeating that. You're not getting me again, mother. So she talks about how she likes to chill, which we know. And she doesn't like to stand up like her mother. Her mom's like, I hate standing up. She goes, what are you doing, mom? She goes, you know, we're just chilling. I'm lounging on my sectional sofa. You know me. I like to sit. She goes, yeah, me too, mom.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
She goes, I wonder where you got that.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
one also just body dysmorphia in general what it does to you is crazy because whatever she's seeing is not what we're seeing you know yeah and um you know i get it i have all of that stuff so i get it uh but it's sad to watch it in someone else like for me it's fun like for me like being self-deprecating about it and stuff like that is my hobby but seeing somebody else do it i'm like oh no stop no girl no stop
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Um, because obviously she's stunning and gorgeous. And even if, even if she's not, it's like, I don't know, stop it. Just stop. Stop being mean to yourself. You've got a mother who loves you and who likes to sit. What more do you? Yes.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
The euphonium in pop. You know, look. Just, you know, stop beating yourself up. There's this ice cream place I really love. And I'm trying to remember if it's Lewin's. I think it's Lewin's, however you pronounce that one. Van Lewin's.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Yeah. And they have, like, a lot of fun sayings about eating ice cream. Like, counting calories is hard. if you do it or something like that, you know, like don't count calories, count ice cream pints that are piling up in the back of your room or whatever. But it was like very pro like eat it and shut up.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And I like that, you know, I feel like it's kind of my therapy all the, you know, which is super weird because I'm getting therapy at my other therapist's office, which is ice cream. So it's like, I'm getting two therapies in one. That's great. That's nice. That works out very nicely.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
It does. I'm looking for... Okay. Van Leeuwen ice cream motto. A life without anything good is bad. See?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
A life without anything good is... If you have a mouth, we have a flavor. I like that one.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
OK, so then Molly just Molly's back because her parents are getting older and stuff, but also she's not modeling. So she doesn't know. We've got kind of a Landon storyline here coming up is what I feel, except I like her. She's not as immediately breathing as Landon was.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So, Madison's house. Family's making breakfast. I have to say, we are always giving kids shit about their hair. Hudson has the best kid hair I've seen on Bravo. Best kid hair. Love it. Very strong. It's a little like... It's a little like Pebbles Flintstone mixed with Justin Bieber back in the day. Love it. I think it looks great on him.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I mean, it's so nice to see that there are just a real good man around. Like he's hot. He doesn't speak. He makes pancakes. He fights fires for fun.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
music and fun and joy so come join us watchacrappins.com get your tickets and get your tickets just for the other shows as well because they'll all be wonderful and so fun be with your peeps be with us be yeah do it self uh we're also on video today on crappins on demand on patreon and it's also where we are recapping sold on slc the new show on bravo so go check us out over there
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Yeah, that is weird, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's like male thyroid cancer prevention month because we saw it on Potomac as well, which is super coincidental. So, you know, she's upset about that. He got it taken out. Now he has a little spot there that still hurts or something. And then they talk about how Patricia is going to host an Easter lunch and he's got to leave. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
You know, I really do hope that this man is a fireman and does not have another family because at this point it's starting to feel weird.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
He's like secretly. He never speaks. You don't know like his secret plot lines. Like he's really in competition with Molly ever since America's Next Top Model. He's like, I'm going to play. I'm going to have a whole family to play as a euphonium.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Okay, so, well, the way we're going, we will. Because we're like, wow, let's talk about euphoniums a little bit. Because we're only on the second scene. You know what?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Promiscuity, drugs, and euphoniums.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So, basically, we go to Patricia and Madison talking about this party that Patricia's going to have. And, you know, she's talking about how upset she is about the counselor, obviously, you know, and just really worried about Brett. So, then they eat their pancakes.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
We're holding space for the lyrics of Holy Night.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I'm the queer media, so I can say that.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So then we go to JT. So it's the boys golfing. It's the boys in indoor golf. JT's there. He's like, I'll just need to check in with some friends. They all clearly hate this guy. It's Shep and Craig who meet him. They hate his guts. And you can see why. He just comes in. He's like sitting crisscrossed applesauce on top of the counters.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Watch a lot of Netflix shows about Vikings, guys. Yeah.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I'm so sorry, but I said Uhtred, and then so I started looking up pictures of Uhtred shirtless. So if you guys don't know who Uhtred is from that show, The Last Kingdom. Oh, my God. I think that's what it's called. This is him.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Yeah, Uhtred. Fucking hottie pants. Love you, Uhtred. Okay, so where are we golfing? Okay.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Then the show gives us a gift, and it's what I've kind of loved watching. It's one of the things I've loved watching on this show since it started, which is Austin slowly losing his pride and joy. His hair. So let's go to Austin staring at himself in a mirror. And you remember that, how he used to confidently stare in the mirror and be like, yeah, and kind of shape his stupid congressman hair?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Oh, you get kicked off of most courses for dressing like that, JT. And he's like, oh, you trying to get into my head right now? You trying? And, okay. He's like, I'm done now. You guys play. You guys have to play. I haven't missed a ball in a while. And, well, I'll tell you this much. With two legs, I beat them 18 straight holes.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Who says that? He's so cringy. Everything he says is cringy. Guys, what's the feedback in the locker room?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
He is not really trying to make up with Austin. Obviously, he's here to do what a very ham-handed housewife does when she doesn't know what to do, which is she's like, let's come in and improvise storylines. Just come in, just throw a bunch of shit at the wall, see if anybody grabs onto anything. He's just making up a bunch of shit. So that's what he starts doing. He's like, OK, well, OK.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So, you know, I gave Miss Patricia Kane. I didn't realize it at the time, but she took offense to that cane. And they're like, yeah. And he goes, but one thing I wanted to talk to you about was Madison. So she invites me to her event and I'm thinking it's going to be a friendly event. But then she doesn't speak to me at the event she invites me to. Is that weird?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Is that weird to anybody else that she's not speaking to me?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
She had to invite you to an event because it's on television and you're both on a television show, but nobody actually likes you on this show. So you're going to be getting that a lot this season.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So it didn't work for him to suggest that Madison just hates him.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Okay. Well, but then why FaceTime me with your wife to ask me if we hooked up in Jamaica?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Yeah. And now he looks with such worry in the mirror. And I love it. It just makes me feel so good. I think part of it is that it's not misery, but follicly challenged love's company maybe is part of it. But it's also just that he's such a douchebag, and I know it's crushing him.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Well, he was like, you left the beach and you went where? And I'm like, this is weird.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Look for sales on curated cheeses to create a grazing board everyone will love while the dinner's getting cooked. You're in the right place to get all the best accoutrement like nuts, dried fruit, and chocolate.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And that's hot, actually. So then JT's like, well, you know, I think it's weird that Brett's potentially weird about me. No one's weird about you. But I received a FaceTime call. Hey, JT, I'm here with Braves Madison.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And I said, well, Taylor was upset. So we went to your hotel room and we ordered some room service and we all went to bed.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And then that was it. And oh, oh, so that's not working for anybody. All right. Let me let me look into my storyline bag here. OK, got some more. The other strange thing is why is she matching polka dots with Austin?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So, yeah, they both wear the same polka dots when we see a clip of it. And JT's like, well, Madison never misses a beat. She matches her ex-boyfriend to the color of the polka dot.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Do you know how hard it was for me to bring an olive branch? Because he's still doing the same shit. Levis said that he had a relationship with another girl for a few months. Oh, my God. None of this has to do with you. Like, literally none of this has to do with you. What is wrong with you?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Well, Leva's pretty good, though. She's got it. She's had to do zero this season and she's already gotten herself in 100% of the episodes. That's pretty good.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I don't want to see him crushed. Just kidding. Maybe that's a little too mean for the start of a recap. But Austin sucks. No, it's not. And never forget Austin sucks when he's charming at the beginning of a season, as he is currently.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I won't be your friend. You're so pathetic and sad to watch. It's hard to watch it. So they're like, just listen. Just calm down. And Leva's lying. Okay. And he goes, then you guys need to address it with Leva and say, stop it.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
well this show is seeing what's happening here and i have to hand it to production because they nipped this in the bud right away jd is it jt jt comes on with a bunch of he's spinning shep is sober for a day and craig is not playing with this so they're screwed they have nobody to get messy with
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
They know Rodrigo is not that favored right now in the audience because last year he called an audience member a C word or whatever. And he's got some issues. And then Levin never shows up to work. So what are they going to do? They called the messiest gay they could. And they say, get your ass down here. We need you. They hired a new gay. Congratulations. Thank you.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
That's all you guys needed to fucking do. By the way, spoiler alert, we haven't really seen him yet. We saw him a little last week, but we're going to meet him today. We meet him later. He's very soft-spoken and very nervous. Oh, give him time. He looks a mess. And isn't he a main cast member? I think I see him on all the posters, right?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I am leaving. So he gets his shit and walks out. And Shep's like, Craig, come on. Don't make me film with the extra. And JT's like, what? What do I do? And so Shep's just like, listen, words matter. Words matter. Love your cans.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Hey, Austin, I didn't know if it was you or another fraud alert, but I guess same difference. What's going on, honey?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Oh, you don't have to remind me. Trop hop still that I get an Amex bill every month, honey.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
so he's like oh uh wow mom i'm like dating this girl but we're like it's been like four months it's like amazing it's like amazing mom wow wow amazing that another guy has found love with somebody probably 20 years junior well he's not he's not as old as shep how old is this one um what the girl um i'm gonna say between 22 and 22 and a half
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
and i'm gonna give it a really wide range between 22 and 20 and a half okay let's look at that austin kroll girlfriend her name and he says oh go ahead sorry but he while you look that up he's like it's so strange mom it's like when i leave charlotte i miss her like wow
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I remember this, actually, now that I'm going. You know I really am just so predictable. I'm sorry, everybody. But, of course, I already went off on this, I guess, on our preview recap, which is on Patreon if anybody wants to listen to it. We talked for an hour in the trailer trash about this show. So I'd already looked her up before. And I think she's 26? Yeah.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
OK, so he looks really young, but I mean, he's not that old. I mean, I don't even know how old he is. I just see these boys, you know, these fucking boys. OK, so here we go. Austin is what are we talking about? I'm sorry I can't pay attention today. I just want to Google every every person we talk about. I'm like, but I want to see their picture now. And, you know, what's a Uhtred been up to?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
How dare you come for Charles? Come for Austin. He deserves it. What does Charles do to anybody, you know?
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So then we go to Craig's house and he's like, well, I want to grill sausages, hot dogs. And then he just pulls out a huge Ziploc freezer bag out of the freezer and it's full of hot dogs. And he just pours it all over the grill. There's like a hundred sausages there.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
But the real answer is so Craig too. I got a vacuum for my putting green.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
You invited me over to soak with you in head cold juice? Fuck, man. Who does that?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Then we got a Patricia. Tell me what's going on there, Whitney. And he's like, I don't know. Not much, mother. And he's just like standing there with some. Some brown liquor and a swirly glass. I'm too poor to know what kind of these glasses these are, really. But he's swirling it around like he's on Masterpiece Theater.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
He's not lying about anything important. It's just like fun for him. Or do you think he actually remembers things this differently? Because it seems like he's just lying for fun at this point, right?
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
You all gave each other a cold. Yeah. Something happened. Basically, they have a very, you know, kind of boring conversation. And she's like, I don't like that you moved because now we can't go have coffee. And he's like, well, you can still have coffee, pretty lady. And then we start talking about... his thing with, well, he's looking out, they go on.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And he's like, well, you know, I had a conversation. It was heavy because they got in my face. They got my face, man, which they did not get in your face. Guys, they're all just liars.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
When I mentioned Austin's gray area girlfriend thing that Levin mentioned on the bus, they're both coming in so hot, you know, like like I'm I'm talking foaming at the mouth, you know, and I was like, OK, OK, hands up, hands up, hands up. And she's like, yeah, you know, it sounds like you were doing the right thing to me, which obviously it wasn't. And then back to Craig.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Craig's like, hey, dude, I'm not doing this shit with you.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
austin's like the best like don't make fun of austin he's like my best friend you can't come between us and also ultimately they're bros right so bros before you know i don't want to say hoes because jt's not a hoe but whatever he would be what is it
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
They're ultimately bros and they're the leads of the show. So they're like, listen, we're the lead. Like when Austin came on the show, look how resistant Shep was to Austin. He tried. He was so mad about Austin being on the show. Literally probably still is. It was so hard for him to finally accept Austin. And now they did. And now it's just the three of them.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
They're not going to just let anybody in here, especially someone like that.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
so i think ultimately even if they hate each other they're going to stand up for each other in front of him you know it's kind of like the ladies on salt lake city they're kind of doing that right now they'll bet they're like i hate you but i'll band together with you against ronwin right now because she's coming for one of us you know so yeah it's birds of a feather you you don't have the right feathers get out of here bird
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I'm not comparing Bronwyn to JT. I'm comparing everyone on the show, how they're reacting to newbies.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
this story also keeps on changing it's like it's was it accusatory was it a light funny question like what's like everyone here is just lying on this show i mean yeah so then we go back to craig and austin and craig's like yeah he said brett called him and thinks madison and him in jamaica which is not technically what he said And I was like, no one thinks that you banged Madison.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And he's like, well, Brett does. And I was like, did he accuse you of banging Madison?
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
deep at war i thought i was in the twilight zone dude i don't have any more time for that show let me show you right now and so he's like you know coordinating polka dot outfits like i gotta give him creativity points that's at least good you know so then we go ready ding ding ding patricia's house
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
yeah poor randy either way i just feel so bad for randy don't you he looks like a prisoner he looks terrified he looks like martin sheen just confused on a cul-de-sac is the best way i could like i thought this was a street when did the street become a cul-de-sac poor randy it's a tough journey for him so whitney is like oh mother i think tonight the chateau neuf oh we'll do this yes mother uh also um i think uh people are gonna want bellinis but we've got champagne here oh
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And she's got a bunny rabbit on the table that's left little black jelly beans behind it. Yeah. Turd Palace Mother. It's been a tradition since we started, Whitney. I do like a big extravaganza for Easter. I order candy from 10 different places. See's Candy, Maison du Chocolat, and all over the place. And jelly beans from the Teeter, our grocery store.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Funny you're drinking a 15-year-old Pappy Van Winkles. I was 15 when I started dating Pappy Van Winkles. My, how things change. You enjoying that $2,000 bottle, Whitney?
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I wonder how long this segment was of Patricia just naming off candy stores.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I don't know, like really fancy ones, but I mean, I don't know any really fancy ones. But I thought just to hear her be like, yeah, 10 different candy stores. C's. I was like, C's? What the hell? Mars and Mars.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Found a couple under the couch from last year. Those count, don't they?
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Now, this one's not a store, but they do somehow taste better when you have Randy stand outside a middle school around Halloween and then beat kids over a head with a floss water until they give me a candy. That's delicious candy.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So they're getting the table set and Whitney's reading the names that she's put out. And he's like, Austin, Craig, Ryan, Molly. Oh, Molly. How coincidental, mother. Well, I mean, Whitney never tells me anything, so let's get that right off the bat. But people have told me they've hooked up five or six years ago. So I know he likes her and they remain friends.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So let's just hope for some egg fertilization somehow.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
piles of newspapers from 1987 uh in order to come serve me unfortunately i've kept the largest piece of junk in the house randy yes ma'am put these clamps on your nipples no ma'am please not the car battery again do it happy easter junk
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Whitney, take a long, good look at that old broken down stereo. This is exactly what you look like to the girls you date. Think about that. So Craig comes over and he's like, hey, Miss Pat, you sound a little congested. Are you sick? The pollen is just pollen. Nobody cares, huh? They're just like, bring me all your illnesses. Come on, sit on my lap.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So they make small talk, and then hopefully the season's new gay bone carrier walks in. His name is Ryan. He's like, hey, Patricia, Whitney, how are you? How's it going, Craig? Patricia, love your dress, so pretty. I brought you some French chocolate. It's like, okay, that's a good start. Now sit down and spread something.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Like I hate chocolates, especially French chocolates.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So then we go over to Shep's house and Shep, you know, it's a Shep house. showing us Shep again, getting dressed, getting dressed scene with Shep. And are there people or they're obviously doing these for the audience, like showing the men getting out of the shower and stuff. But is there anyone getting off on Shep and Austin getting out of a shower? Can we just stop?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Yes. And so they start tasting some liquor. And then Craig starts talking to Shep. Shep comes in. You know, it's like small talk because everybody comes in. And Shep's like, wow, very Easter of you, Whitney. You look like you're about to go on safari. Because everyone else is in pastels and Whitney's in like a dark, you know, a black duster and a fucking.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Reunab-phonia. She would play well in Brooklyn.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
so Austin brings a bottle of wine he's like sorry it's not the best bottle of wine it's Patricia and Ryan's like well you'd probably enjoy it more than you would as a cane than a cane as a gift wouldn't you Patricia she's like oh a cane why would you give an 80 year old woman a cane and Molly's like oh god I thought he thought it would be funny well it wasn't funny it wasn't they're all cracking up Madison's like that's the sort of joke a beta would make
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
It's a bald face, right? Why do people say bold face? Isn't it bald face?
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I've heard it both, but I thought it was bald.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
It's Helvetica. You see? Helvetica. I don't know how to pronounce fonts. I don't know. It's Friday. It's hard. This is a Comic Sans face lie. Yeah, this is just some bullshit. This is typical Craig. And when he's like, wait, wait, hold on. What the fuck is wrong with this guy? And I was like, oh, my God, Whitney's going to kill him. So the fact that he can impugn mother... All bets are off.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
He can go fuck himself and puning and puning my mother. And Madison's like, what needy? He's crazy.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
It's like, just, it's one of those things on Bravo. I just need to stop. Just stop, please.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
he does leave but like this is it's like jt is being a douche and stupid but like craig is actually just making up a blatant lie and attacking us like that's that's so this is where jt's gonna find his way back in you know i think craig's just like i don't like him so he's gotta go if they're not gonna fire him then we'll kick him off the show i'll find a way to get him kicked off the show it's yeah it's brutal and i kind of like it because craig's always pretending to be this like i'm just such a nice guy now um
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
uh when at the end of the day he's still craig but he's craig with a twist now because he's like twisted craig because craig was never really mean he was just a liar you know but this is mean this is just like all right let's just ruin jt um but jt's like someone that no one really likes including me so I don't know. I don't know where I stand on it, but this is messy, Craig. Mess, mess, mess.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Yeah. Yeah, I see what you mean. It's going to be interesting to see what happens with this because this was pretty crazy. This was pretty low. And now, of course, the whole cast can see that he's lying. So it's going to be interesting to see how they react because they're all going to lose it on JT. So are they going to apologize?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Or is this going to be something where production ultimately shows us that he did smother it under his breath or something and Craig heard it? Because, you know, production is sneaky. So they could slip that in in like the reunion even or something and be like, we got all of you.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Yeah, well, all he really had to do was what he does next, which is continue.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So Little Craig is there. And Little Craig, I'm going to say it again. Little Craig is tired this season. I don't know if Little Craig has had enough. I don't know if he wants to run away from Shep. But Little Craig has lost some of his spark there. Sorry, Little Craig.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Ma'am, can we get your name for this coffee cup? I'm gonna kill you, bitch. Okay, well, got it.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Well, I told him Madison's gonna kill you and Patricia goes, let's tag team him. Which is also another thing that no one has ever said about JT.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
You're damn right I do. You're damn right I do. And then we can't see the rest of the scene because the spit covers the camera.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
He's suffering. Yeah, and I think also Shep ships him off to his parents most of the time when he's not filming. And then when he's filming, he gets the dog back. And so I think Craig is also missing his real parents who are Shep's parents.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
The end. Thank you, chat. That was very eloquent. And he had also brought up Pontius Pilate betraying Jesus. So Ryan was like, oh, the fact that you know who Pontius Pilate is is impressive though.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Pontius Pilate called you a bitch. He called you a bitch in the Bible.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Someone's serving too much Pappy Van Winkle. So now they're eating, and Shep's like, I can't eat all this. I lost 15 pounds. And Molly's like, well, I lost 15 pounds, but I got 20 to go. Because I gained 45 like a year and a half ago. Because I have hormone problems, so I fluctuate every couple years. But then I'm also on medicine, and it causes binge eating.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And he's like, oh my god, it's like the opposite of Ozempic. And she's like, literally. Literally.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So they all get served a- Can we not talk about eating disorders at the table? We're about to have dessert. Molly, suck it up. Give Molly four, please.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
So then Molly's like, oh, I was about to do that. And he's like, sorry, Tucker, you snooze, you lose. She's like, no, I was going to do it, so I'm going to do it anyway. And she says, yeah, you do that so you don't get icing on your nose. And Whitney goes, it's like a sandwich. You don't like a cupcake sandwich? You know what, Molly, that's the last thing that you need. And everyone's like, whoa.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And her jaw drops. And Patricia's face has literally never moved this much on the show. She's like, Whitney. Yeah.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Yeah, this is really gross. And Molly's like, so he's calling me fat. And he goes, I'm not calling you fat. She goes, no. And Madison's like, no, the fuck you did not, Whitney.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And his thing is, well, I've known her for 10 years, I can say that. She needed to smash that cupcake in his fucking stupid face. Also, Chucky, you look like you've just got your makeup done at the morgue. So I don't know who you're making fun of over here with your Chucky hair, but you need to shut the fuck up, sir. She should have shoved that cupcake right in his goddamn face.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Patricia would have just laughed.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Yeah, it's pretty wax. And it's amazing that Whitney's a producer, so he can kind of protect himself on this show. And this still makes it in. Imagine the shit that is cut, you know? Like, yeesh, yikes. So she's like, I'm going to beat him up. Is that okay, Patricia? She's like, mm-hmm. So Patricia's like, I'm giving up. As far as grandkids are concerned, I think I'm just going to get a kitten.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Sip Some Scotch with Jessica Trotch.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
She is Miss Bahamas and she wants to get the fuck out of there. And so she is going to be on a TV show that Shep is on. That is exactly what she's doing with them. And it's so obvious, too, because the second we see her, she's like... Hey, honey. Hi, how are you doing? She's like, good. Do I look clean? I just got out of the shower. I shaved.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Make Whole Foods Market your holiday headquarters. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Which is so sad to need a fucking award for taking a shower and shaving. She's like, yeah, you look fresh for once.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Oh, I like your hair. I like it like that. Wow, look at your hair. She's like, yeah, I washed it and floofed it.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And of course she has to be dating a Miss Bahamas. Fucking Shep. I swear to God. Like Shep just never understands where he's going wrong. You know? You don't deserve a Miss Bahamas.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Well, it's just like, of course he has to date like a beauty queen. You know what I mean? Because he's Shep. He has to have like a trophy on his mantle. He can't just have a fucking normal conversation with a normal person. You know what I mean? I'm saying that he's always looking for some kind of trophy instead of something real. Because this girl is clearly not into him.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
When you're saying, when I'm asking who's watching those shower scenes at the beginning, that's who. Mitzi fucking Goldberg is there.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Oh, God, she's so sexy. And we see her in her gown and sash. And he's like, I wish you were here. She's like, yeah, I do want to spend some more time with you there when there's cameras there. Just don't try and have me come there again when there's not cameras there. That was really annoying. He's like, oh, she's so beautiful here right now. It's 70 degrees. There's just a little. Oh, sorry.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
It's 110 now. Oh, gosh. Gosh. Gosh. Vibroventilating. But that's part of the fun. Come on.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I'm glad Taylor got over her infant infantilizing relationships. Kink. Look both ways before we cross the street. Hold my hand. Say a prayer. For fuck's sake, just cross the street, Taylor. So we finally see Gaston. Gaston, listen, we've taken some shit for making fun of the name Gaston last week because we're Americans. And so to us, it's a Beauty and the Beast name.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And that's the douchiest name from Beauty and the Beast. But people are like, hello, that's an extremely popular name outside of America. So sorry, outside of America, we're not making fun of you. We're making fun of inside of America. Okay?
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
All the actual Gastons out there, you know? Sorry, guys. But let me tell you one thing about Gaston. What? No one works like Gaston. No one twerks like Gaston. No one ever is ever a jerk like Gaston. Okay.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
I don't know what song you're talking about, but no one is big like Gaston and no one is a kingpin like Gaston. Okay. Okay.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
No one pickles like Gaston. No one shaves his hair so close to the sides like Gaston. Gaston, what are you doing with a beard? And then you shave your sides of your hair all the way down to the skin. And then you have more hair on top. Gaston's a mess. Can I just say? And Gaston's been working to get on TV for a long time. He's been fucking people all over Bravo to try and get on here.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And you're finally on. And this is the hair you show up into pickle.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
And I'm being a dick, but you know what, you guys, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And no one's slick as Gaston, and no one's quick as Gaston. So who the fuck am I? Okay? I'm not Gaston. That's for goddamn sure. You're Jean Valjean. Two, four, six, Gaston!
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
OK, so here we are pickling, which I guess we're saying pickling now about pickleball because it's not obnoxious enough without adding pickling to the mix. So it's no, it's not a facial treatment at Patricia's house. It's an actual game people are playing. So they go to pickle. And Taylor, who's all smiles these days, is like, Gaston and I have been dating for about seven months.
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#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
We're friends and we just went on an accidental date because my friend ended up backing out. So it was just me and Gaston. Were you the stand-in for your friend? What is she talking about?
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
This is where you be who you want to be. This is where people who give a fuck live. This is people with a brain. We're people who know how to use a fork and a knife. We do Wordle. We can spell. We read here. I was like, damn. I was walking home. I went to see a show about corn last night. It was good. What's it called? Shucked. It's called Shucked.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Oh, wait, before you answer that, there is a gay person one foot away from me.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I've never cheered harder for crystal to slap somebody. And there was actually a crystal on this show. Yeah. Yeah. So Garcelle's like, well, what I wanted to say, I've taken half an hour to come up with this retort backstage. Kyle, it feels like you told me things off camera to shut me up. It's like, that's it? That's all you had? Get this woman a gay. Get her a gay.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Why does she still have no gays backstage? Get rid of the twig and get some gays, okay?
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
We ain't the same to each other as we are to you.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Well, for people at home, they were saying, well, you're on a reality show. You're supposed to tell us everything, Kyle. What about that? What do you want to say to that lady at home who you videotaped almost killing a dog on the street?
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I mean, how many seasons did I cook salmon on this show? And you accuse me of not sharing.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
But if it's going to hurt somebody I care about, I will not... talk about it for a TV show. Unless it's Kim. Or Kathy.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
They literally had a 10-minute musical number about corn to open it. I was like, what am I doing here? But I was walking home, you know, in the district, and there was even a homeless, I don't think you're allowed to say homeless, whatever you call it now. He was there, and he was like, hey, stop your honking, buddy. This is Liberty Park Square.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Or Mauricio. Or Storm, because he keeps mopping over the tiny pies in the tiny kitchen of the tiny creepy dollhouse in the backyard. Fuck that dog. But everybody else.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Well, I don't see why it's not okay for you to just say, no, I'm not talking about it. Why do you have to be like, oh, but I'm sharing. I'm sharing. Okay. Just say no. No, I'm not talking about it. That's Bose. I love Bose. Bose is like a judge. She should have just come out in like a sequined judge gown because it's like a judge show.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Everything, every answer, just look to Bose because Bose is like, no, I don't believe you.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Next. Do not piss on my leg and tell me it's raining, girl.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Well, Dorit, you said, reject. Reject along. Let me hold for rejection from the audience.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Dorit, you said that Kyle has two sets of rules.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Anyway, Dorit, you are, right? Dorit's the one. Dorit's the one that acts different with Erica than she does with me. Kyle, that's not answering the question. Answer the question, Kyle.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Well, I personally, Coyle, have let more things slide with you than I did letting things slide down PK's throat on our anniversary dinner.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I was like, even the homeless people have such a civic duty. Well done.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Oh, your PTSD is coming next season after all four of your lawsuits come to fruition. Madame!
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
It doesn't matter what's going on with Teddy. She would have shown up. She'd be like, oh, shit, Erica's going to court finally.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Yeah, because that happened a while ago where she didn't show up, so now she's, like, in default or something. And you know who loves that? That Ronald Richards lawyer guy. Yeah. Yeah. Thank God jerking off isn't illegal on Twitter because he's all over that.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
She's lucky I didn't take a goddamn chainsaw to him.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I mean, that was the pringle that broke the camel's back. And that literally happened to us in Morocco one time. But I thought there's no more rules. And Kyle, I was only telling you that I had sent you a text message months before. No response.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
That doesn't count, Dorit. How's Dorit acting like, and not to stand up for Kyle, but Dorit's like, I sent you a text and no response. I don't have to respond to your happy birthday. That was AI generated. Get the fuck out of here.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Well, I mean, that really hurt my feelings because that was a way of getting a dig at me. It was a dig. It was like a dig when you said I wasn't close to you because I was close to Morgan. Like, why don't you just call me a bulldog? Just say bulldog. Just say it. It's like, what Kyle? The question was, how has Kyle's friendship with Morgan affected your friendship with Kyle? And I said, terribly.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
What's the big deal? It had nothing to do with lesbianism. Please. I don't want to get into people's religious beliefs.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
You've got Ben, who managed to find a gaming podcast to go on and a group to play with all night long. He texted at 2 in the morning.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
So, Doreen... Do you think the reason Kyle got mad about those comments is because she got in trouble with Morgan? Morgan's terrifying. Say you think that Morgan's terrifying, Dorit. Go ahead. She's a stalker. She's terrifying. Dorit, are you saying that Morgan's a Lifetime movie? Are you saying that?
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Well, you know, I was the one who introduced Morgan to this. You know, it just, like, it caused her anxiety. Get the fuck over it. You're in your 30s. You don't get to use that. You don't get to show up at work and be like, I have anxiety. You also have work to do.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I got my vision back after Bangs, Andy.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
She's a public singer. What other fucking... What if he was like, but she's a shower singer.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Did you see the other stuff about Erica where that singer who actually wrote Drip, who also seems very unstable, right? Is it just me? She does though. Brooke Candy, I think is her name. And she comes on, she's got like her little like ponytails, like makeup and piercings everywhere. And she's like, Fucking Erica stole my song. That ain't her song.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
It's so good. It's a song I can live for because it's another Erica type coming for Erica. Bring her on. I want Sturdy Woman with the dogs and Brooke Candy on next year. I need them both on. Yeah.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I mean, there was organ music. They should have had an organist in Conclave because, you know, that would have been a neurotic queen back there. Like, girl, who are we going to vote for now, girl? Pat the Pope, Pat the Pope.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Yeah. And so she's like, yeah, but you guys, like, she has, like, music fans. That's totally different from housewives fandoms. Not that she's wrong, because you know we're terrifying people. You know every single one of us in here is terrifying. And I have a feeling we all started showing up, especially them. Look at them.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
But you know those Morgan concerts now are just housewives to people like, Kyle's here. Yeah. Yeah.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Why is the audience facing away? Why is the audience facing away? Why is everybody looking towards the wings?
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Meanwhile, you see Carl's here. She's wearing a gay pride flag, sitting in the middle of the stage.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
but Andy's pissed it's so much more fun being evil in public I have to say yeah being evil together
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
He's like, yeah, she's also selling a lot more tickets because you got housewives bitches out there. So what do you have to say to that? She's like.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Not to say videos don't exist. Because you know they're on someone's phone. So he's like, that was totally in her hands, you know. So you can't have your... cake and eat it too. I was like, nice save.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
More than Pringles if you don't.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
All right, well, what happened was, like, I didn't get in trouble with Morgan, okay? Everyone needs to stop making Morgan sound like she's insane. She just has anxiety, all right? And, like, you know.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
But, of course, Kyle feels attacked by cake. She's, like, the one person who's made cake the villain.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Well, I think I was definitely getting it until the whole picky text message ended.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
And I'm sure we're going to talk about it. He's like, all right. But I feel like it's a work in progress. It's a work in progress with me and Coyle.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
This is Peacock. You don't have to watch that shit.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Everyone's like, shut up, Garcelle. Shut up, Garcelle. You're not in this anymore.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Look at this paragraph. Look what I told him in this paragraph. I love you so much, PK. You're so much better than Dorit. She really smells sometimes, but you never do. God, I hate that bitch. So glad we're talking. I'll continue to talk to you. Please keep talking about Dorit. I'll never tell her a thing you say. God, it's good talking to you. Should we do this over the phone? Let's FaceTime.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
The locals don't care, though. I was watching people walk around last night. There was a tank top out there. I was like, what the fuck are you doing, queen? I think it was meth. Honestly, I think it was meth. Because when I got closer, it was like a little like... I was like...
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
It's like a spring here. So good. Well, welcome to Watch What's Crappin'. Tonight we're proud to bring you The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Part 2. Yeah. Just do us a favor. Do not say lesbian. Please. We don't want to get sued.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Send this crystal over to Boze. I just want to give her a gift. God, I love you, Boze. You're doing great. You're doing great. So, you know, I've never been accused of being a liar. Liar. You're accused of being a liar every year. You know why? Because you lie. A lot. So Boze is like, no lies told.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
That's me passing, but all the way down the street.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Also, let's describe the lady, because we're recappers, you know? All right, here's the lady. This giant lady... She's got like a crazy ponytail, you know, where it's like kind of askew. Top of the middle. And there's shit like coming out all over. She's dragging these three dogs who look like they've got a week left. Not a one of those.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
And Garcelle's like, well, you could have just said, you know what, I did talk shit about you, but I was mad at you.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Like Erica. Erica's best on this show when she really doesn't have any drama and she can just sit back and be like, you're dumb.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
But I would never talk shit about Dorit, you know? I mean, like, okay, well, one time PK came over during the agency party and Erica goes, hey, don't say it now. You've kept it a secret for this long. What are you, a fucking idiot?
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Yeah, but, like, I mean, he came over, and so we had a conversation, you know, and I was like, you know, like, why aren't we speaking? So I told him why we weren't speaking, like, you're the bitch, you know. I mean, it was no big deal. I said it in meme form, so.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
so have you texted PK since? And she's like, um, only when Jagger was in the hospital.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Yeah, I had to because, you know, like, this whole thing came out about, like, the text message at Viper Room and all that stuff. And so I said, you know, there's a huge drama. You know, I think it was with Mauricio, so that makes it okay. And, you know, like, whatever. And she goes, oh, my God! Okay, okay, Kyle.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
And it's also annoying because it just keeps going in a circle because she won't answer, you know? And then every time they catch her, she's like, you are there, you are, you are. And so here we are still talking about this. So he's like, okay, I want to move on. Let's talk about memes.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I don't know if she got them all at the same time when the Flintstones were living, but these dogs are close, you know.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
No cameras, just us and a ball machine, a little ball pit. We can lie there together, and I can say, I beat you a skee-ball, you stupid bitch. And you can apologize to me over a cardboard pizza pie that neither one of us eats.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
And she's dragging them so hard, like one of them even hits the curb, and she just keeps pulling it until it comes back up.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Did you notice how Andy said Louis Vuitton? He's like, well, Jennifer sailed into this group on a Louis Vuitton boat. Yeah, he did say that. That's so weird, right? I actually thought, am I just too poor to know how to say it?
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
And he's like, well, you seem to enjoy, you know, you said, wow, this is a show in Oceanside and just started eating. And they cut to that.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I saw that, I was like... Can't see a dog being mistreated like that.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Kyle's tongue was a tonguing. She was like.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
She was wearing, like, ten fingers on each ring, five bracelets, like, girl, that new money. And I love that she knows it, too.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
They're all just going to be surrounding her next year trying to hold up her diamond, right? So Andy's like, I just want anyone getting ideas to know that you keep all of your jewelry at the bank because you're not a burglar or an idiot like Doreen.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
And the assistant who supposedly lost all the feelings in her legs when she heard the Dorit gossip or whatever that was.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
God, you guys are so... But on the after show, you did throw in a couple digs.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
She just confused Dorit into agreeing with her. And so she's like, well, I'm sorry I went to the dark side.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
And Jennifer just, she's got candy in her mouth, and she just goes to Christelle.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Because meanwhile, this should be Sutton's reunion. Dorit is running away with this reunion. She won't shut up, and Sutton's just sitting there with those little eyes squinting, like glimmering, her little cat eyes like...
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
All right, we're back. And now I want to introduce my favorite Hilton sister, Kathy Hilton.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
By the way, you look like you're floating. Oh, you can put me down, Chris. Put me down. Chris just comes out from under a caftan like, okay, it was just fun.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
And he's like, well, Kathy, you've been called Fashion Roadkill. She goes, I know. Kyle wouldn't speak to me for a week. It was just another title I stole from her.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Uh, well, uh, Kathy, I noticed you have an uncanny ability to extract gossip from tea that these women, in a way that no one else seems to be able to. What's your secret?
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I'm telling you, it could have been one of you. This lady was like...
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
And he's like, okay, okay, well, uh, at lunch at your house you did a good job. And she's like, um...
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I was at a couture show at the Max Mara. You know Max Mara. And someone's like, where was it? The castle? Yeah, it was in a castle. And Kyle goes, wait, did you do a test? Like, is it a psychic? Did you meet someone who did your DNA? She goes, no, it's a psychic.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
It's a totally different salmon preparation. I need to know.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
So she's like, so then I got a book. And then he's like, you got a book? Where'd you look up a book?
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
So, and he's like, yeah, so she said you were Asian. You know, in Beverly Hills, the women are usually quite filtered, but you came right out and said Mauricio aged badly.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Fucking Kathy. She just confounds everybody. Everybody's just like, what the fuck is this? How long does she have to stay out here?
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
So Erica was asked on What When Happens Live, the biggest controversy starter in the world, who in this group is most guilty of sucking up to Kathy Hilton?
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
So then we come back and Andy asks if they suck up to Kathy and she's like, no. And Garcelle says, okay, can we ask Erica? Erica, I thought about this on backstage.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Kyle hid behind the lady with five fucking cancerous brain tumors.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
And then I apologize when she gets upset. Right, Kathy? Tell them the part I apologize. She apologized.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I'm telling you, none of these people are bilingual, Andy.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
So basically what happened, Sutton got in a fight with Kathy. Well, not a fight, but she got yelled at because she wouldn't take sides. Like, Kathy was versus, who was it? I mean, she was versus Kyle, but who was it? Erica, right? It was Erica. Was Rinna? I forgot. This show wipes my brain. I don't know how the host did for even doing it tonight.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
So she's like, you're not on my side, then fuck you! Damn, I want to hear that side of Kathy, you know, when she tells somebody else.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
It's like 10 minutes of Sutton just being crazy, which I loved. This reunion needs more Sutton. And listen, I'm not against telling people they can't take drugs. You know me. I'm like, take more drugs. Most of us need it. We're Americans. If you're not medicated right now, you don't believe in self-care. Do yourself a favor. We've got a whole plethora. Take something.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
So I'm never going to tell somebody to not take drugs. But they should not allow Sutton to take drugs. What the fuck is Sutton doing? She's like a dead fish up here. She's just like, Sutton, yell at somebody. You're not here to look pretty.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Dorit called someone a C-word, but when Sutton said her misdirected anger was too low, okay.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Well, how is it overreacting? You said the words to hurt. She goes, no, I didn't. I did not say it with an intent to hurt.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
You've got to just say, I said this thing, I meant it, and you can forget it. But instead, you say, well, she was yelling at everyone.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I like when they showed this to Dorit. They showed this clip of Dorit going, come here. You're a fucking cunt.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Girl, they brought a cop over. The cop was like, lady, you know, he's dealt with her probably. She said, no, fuck you. Fuck you. Cause holding Teddy. Then the lady went to a stoop and sat on the stoop because she got tired.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Gungo! Gungo! I'm Gungo! So then Sutton, he's like, well, don't you think it was rude when Dorit was telling that whole sad story about Jagger learning to read the internet that you interrupted for the ladies to go to Garcelle's new house? Garcelle, do you have something to say? I have a house. I built a house. I'm very proud of it. No.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
So it's like, well, we were there for a long time and production said, Sutton, go down there and tell them it's time to leave. So I did. So I did. What do you want me to do about it? But why couldn't you have just said, excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt. We have to get on the road. Okay, well, I'm sorry that I didn't know how to do that, Dorit.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Oh, forget it. I'm not Miss Manners.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Well, what have you said? I know it's terribly awkward. Because Dorit never shuts the fuck up, okay? All we need to do is watch this reunion. It has been Dorit. Just say we got to go. That's what you do with people like Dorit. You go, oh, we got to go. We got to go. Finish this in the car. Finish it in the car. You can still cry in the car.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Where's the person that calls everyone the C word?
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Garcelle, I hear you have a monologue to present about this.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
And then what about her confessionals after that? She tripled down, she tripled down, she five-tupled, six-tupled, cunt-tippled down.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
It was absolutely disgusting, Andy.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Put a ball gown on that lady and get her in here. She was great.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I was like, well, the only thing your wallet bought you was a house and not a date. I could have said that. She goes, well, you did say that, and that wouldn't ask either. Well, do you think you deserved it? Do you think you deserved it? And meanwhile... Jennifer Tilly fully unwrapping food and just, you know.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Big words from somebody who's literally about to live on one.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
It's bad. But also, have you guys ever driven through Bel Air? Have you ever gone on a tour? There is no main road that's embarrassing to live on in Bel Air. I'll tell you that. You go up the main roads and they're all gated homes that you can't even see into.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
All right. Well, previously on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
So wait, now we're main road in Bel Air shaming? This is good. This is good. This is why people watch this show. Well, I wouldn't want to live on a fucking main road.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Your closet ain't. We saw that about two weeks ago, and it was empty.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
You don't have to be nice to get love. Look at me.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Well, you're not superior to anyone. You certainly behave like it. And you know what? You're used to buying people and gifts to tote around. But Sutton, there's more. You brought us purses? Oh, thank you, Sutton. Thank you.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Yes, because we find out today in the news, I guess from clips from next week, we find out Sutton gives them all $1,500 purses. And you know Dorit didn't turn that down. Like, oh, thank you. I'll take it.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
And Sutton's like, well, who did I buy to rate? Name one person.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
You just stop that. You stop that. You stop that right now. Yeah, she is just like pushing her. Sutton is drugged. I think Sutton is. She's tranquilized and she's like, I will not kill this bitch. Do not kill this bitch. Do not call her poor. Do not call her poor. No skank of America jokes today. I will keep it. So finally she gets there and she's like, Gotcha!
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
And meanwhile, it just cuts to Jennifer and she's like, this is terrible.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Thank you so much for being with us tonight, Boston. We love you all. Love you all.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Because when I play, I win. People magazine comes and says,
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
But, Piquet, how do we have an entire tub of briars in the freezer, uneaten, Piquet?
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchel.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Yes, we can-a, it's Savannah.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
the bay area betches betches and our super premium sponsors she's vvip it's amanda v can't lose when you're with amy baldwin somebody get us 10 cc's of betsy md we're taking the gold with brenda silva let's get real with caitlyn o'neill don't get salty with christine pepper can't have a meal without the emily sides let's go into the woods with guy tubs
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. We're on the floor with Molly Dorsett.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Kuchar. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
No, I know he's texting you, but why isn't he texting meme?
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Ladies, after all this meme fighting, I want us to just be sisters. You know, we're sisterhood. Let's just gather around. Let's solve problems like sisters would. Together. We get mad. Let's just stay calm. And then solve those problems together. Gee, she's drunk again. Shut your mouth, you poor person.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Thank you so much for being here, Boston. We love you guys.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Bows, I'm really glad you're on the show. Girl? But you're standing up for Dorit like I did something wrong.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
They say I'm mean to poor people. You're welcome for your pizza party.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Kyle... I know you're having difficulty understanding this large carb with calories melted on top of it. So let me just take this moment to say we all love you, Kyle. Well, we pretend to like you for TV purposes, and we want you to be you. So if you want to be a lesbian, just be a lesbian.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
If you want to be a dick-depriver, be a dick-depriver. We'll all stand right behind you.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
If you want to be a magic carpet rider, call yourself Aladdin.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Just to edit that a little, this show has needed somebody who eats for a long time. We saw Jennifer Tilly eat more at this reunion than we've seen this cast eat in ten fucking years.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I love this town so much. When we came in yesterday, well, when I came in yesterday, we didn't fly together yesterday. So I was in alone. And I was listening to the airport announcements because, you know, that's what you do when you're alone. I never noticed. I was like, this is the proudest city I've ever been in.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
You can make us change the words, but they mean the same shit, I'll tell you that.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I aspire to be that sturdy. So, yeah, so she comes in. She's after the maple bars, you know. And then we go to Garcelle's room. Now, Garcelle has just been put into a state of shock after being questioned. I don't know how she's made it on this show for five years, honestly, because she's like, they were just so cold. I can't stay here. And then Sutton, someone crying.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Sutton didn't even get anything. Sutton was the biggest asshole this year, and she got nothing in that reunion. And she's crying. She's like, I want to go home. I want to go home.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
So then we see a flashback to 30 minutes earlier and Kyle's like, you know, you guys, the two of you, you're mean girls. You're mean girls. Because Kyle was called a mean girl last year and has not been able to let go of it. And I love it. I love that she's like, you are mean. That's Kyle's best defense always. And she does it 20 times. But you are. You are.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
And did you guys notice who was doing her hair? It was Chris, who Dorit never paid. Dun, dun, dun. Wow. Missed opportunity. Get Chris out there. Yeah. Also, when you hear it uncensored, I'm sorry, honey. When you hear it uncensored, you realize what it... Ronnie just clasped my hand when he said that. Yeah. When you hear the uncensored, you realize what a trash box Dorit really is.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
The whole way I was on the little walkie thing, you know, standing there listening to it. She's like, welcome to Boston, the best fucking city in America.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
I mean, now listen. I know that you know that I'm the president of the hypocrisy club. I'm a hypocrite. But she's a trashy person. She is. Like, everything she says, like, well, motherfucking cunt face, goddamn palooza talk. Listen.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
So, sorry. I'm still taken aback. So Chris, we're back to Chris and Kathy.
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#2797 RHOBH Live in Boston: Meme Streets of Bel Air
Yeah. No, no. Are you excited about going out onto the stage?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Sharks. And he's like, yeah, but it's like a prehistoric shark that was a lot bigger than all the other sharks. Oh God. Imagine this old man trying to hit on a young woman and bragging that he brought a prehistoric tooth to her. It's just so on the nose, you know?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
She looks good in it because- I'll wear it right now because being in the jaws of a prehistoric shark sounds better than being in this situation right now. Just fucking put it on me.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Just fucking grind me up in her needle smoothie.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
I mean, that's why I invited you to Italy, to meet my brother, my sister, my nieces, my mom, my dad, that weird cousin who built a crib in her house for an entire season. Gorge!
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
yeah and i have to point out that she keeps trying to talk and he won't let her talk which is his normal state where he just wants to like project all this love onto her and just have her keep nodding and she's not she keeps trying to say something and he won't let her so finally she's like look you know we had fun and we were always having a good time right you know am i right and he's like
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Wow, that's really minimizing it in my mind. I mean, to me, spending three vacation weeks with a beauty queen who refuses to call me back is basically marriage.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
I can't tell the difference. Is there somebody who can give me a sign? Can you move your face in some way? You look like you're in a coma. No, it's just how I am. All right, well, let's try and shoot this scene anyway, in case...
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
The only time I ever saw him this emotional was when I stepped on an egg in that egg game at that Frank Lloyd Wright house.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Then now I think he's getting a taste of his own medicine. You know, like it's not a good feeling, is it?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
What is she even doing? Why even bother? Hang up. Who even answers Lava's calls at this point? Lava, you don't do anything. You're not even showing up to work yet again. Just hang up the phone. I don't care what Lava thinks.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
She's like anyone else. Shows up on phone calls. She does nothing on this show. She's just like checked out and doesn't do anything. And she just keeps getting a check. You know, it's like how you always bring up that person in a group project who you just, who doesn't do anything and then still wants to get the grade at the end. That's how I feel Leva is.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
But so she's like, yeah, so I met Shep's girlfriend because remember at the dog party, she like winked at me and she was like, you know, girl, I'm here for a good time and not a long time. They're like, oh my God.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
It's very bizarre. And she's like, guys, guys turn 40. And then one day they meet a girl that's like in their 20s and they're way faster, smarter and way better at the game. And then that girl just like schools them. And then that's when they finally feel 40.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And Sienna's like, but we weren't even in a relationship. And I completely disagree with that assessment. I can't agree to disagree. She's like, but we didn't have a label on it.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Well, you feel like Ophelia, there's the ocean, take a walk.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
She's like, oh my God, I hate this guy. You got, you're a Megalodon, leave this woman alone. Leave her alone.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Because he's trying to pressure her into acting like his girlfriend. I mean, he thinks, okay, if I do this and then all my friends come, surely she's going to fake it being my girlfriend, right? No, she's not. And good for fucking her. So they come and they see him like trying to convince her. He's like, but we were together for a month. Come on, Sienna.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So now everybody comes to the beach and Shep's trying to hold her hand and she won't hold his hand. Good for her. And then Austin runs up and is hugging her and Craig's like, pussy. He's such a pussy, that guy. Yeah.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Nothing to you, Craig. Jesus Christ. I think Craig might start. I think Craig's projecting a little bit on women who aren't really interested in the men that they're with. Because yikes, he's taken this a little personally. For somebody who spent the last season being like, we're not speaking with Shep anymore. He's too much of a mess. And after BravoCon, he's disgusting.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
I'm never talking to him again. Well into this season, he's sure switched to where he's like, oh, all I really care about is Shep's wellbeing.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
I think also he's got this thing this season where he's like, our team versus their team, meaning old stalwarts on the cast. versus these newbies who were trying to come in, like ganging up with Madison and Austin to try and get JT kicked off. And then it's like, if they're not going to do what they want, then they're like, they can't be part of this cast.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
But this lady doesn't want to be part of your cast, you weirdo. She's trying to get the fuck out of here, okay?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Yeah, she did a video this week after the last episode where Shep didn't get his way with her. So of course he insinuated that she's just a gold digging slut because she asked him to buy her a $10 million house. And so now that he can't afford it, that's why she doesn't like him, right? That's what he insinuated last week. And she went on and she's like, we were on a boat.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
We saw a $10 million house. And I said, that house is beautiful. I would love to have a house like that one day. She didn't ask him to buy her the house.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
yeah stupid ridiculous and then i learned how to put on the eyebrow makeup because that's how sienna does her she's like well and then we were on a boat and we saw a house and then you know it's really funny thing about houses if you really think about it it takes 20 minutes for her to say one thing but girl i can do my eyebrows now so thanks yeah not everyone can be as um succinct as we are you know during hour 18 of this podcast
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
We're still on vacation and Shep is still trying to convince us he's just a sweet little boy.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Yeah. It's just tough love. Okay, Craig, anybody who criticizes you is completely ousted and not spoken to for years at a time, please, with your tough love. So then they're trying to, you know, have nice talk with, some of them are trying to make nice with Sienna, right?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
She's like, it was very boring. What did you guys do?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And Rodrigo's like, wow, I love this time of the night where everyone's acting. Sally's like, normal? And he goes, normal? Honestly, this is where everyone's their fakest.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
It's like when it gets to Shep, he's got like full on liquid, white liquid all over his mouth while he talks and spits everywhere.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And Vanita's like, the only thing I'm concerned about right now is JT. Like, is he on a plane? Did he make it to the airport? Like, how's his blood sugar? Like, is he eating okay? What's he drinking? How's he feeling? Those are the things I'm concerned about. Fuck this dinner.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
That's her chest. And she's like, yeah, he got me a Megalodon tooth, guys. And Craig's like, he was very excited to give you that. Wow, that's really nice. Wow, what a necklace. And Molly's like, yeah, that's all he's been talking about the whole trip.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Yeah, you gave us the same necklace.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Is he part of like a shark tooth of the month club? He's just got an excess of shark teeth that he needs to give away to people.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
How are you doing? You doing okay? I mean, Shep's not used to having emotions, so he probably vomited all over your face. You want me to wipe some emotional vomit off of your face? She's like, I'm okay. It's just, you know, I told him that we should like take a step back, you know, because, you know, I think Shep needs someone to be in the passenger seat of his life.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And I'm just like, you know, could you hold this mirror? I'm just not really in the passenger seat of someone's life. Are you doing your eyebrows right here at the table? Could you speed this up? This is Mar-a-Long Show.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Yeah, see, and notice what he does here, too, when he says, I don't even have a car.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So he's like, so he's like up. By the way, Whitney has been told that he got dumped because when he came, he's like, so how'd it go, Shep? And Shep's like, she dumped me. So Whitney already knows this, right? So Whitney goes, I have a question.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Do you see yourself in three years being married and settling down, like, you know, like living jointly between Charleston and Nassau or like even getting your own place somewhere? And Shep's like, Whitney! And she's like, um, to get to that place, we'd need to aid to find the relationship, which, you know, we never did. And, you know, kind of go through those steps. So.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
It was so cringy. It was a lot. You had the hypocrisy of Craig bringing in an alcoholism storyline while he's fucking fall down drunk. Yes. Like, you're doing great over there, Craig. He's like, bro, I'm just trying not to be an alcoholic. I'm like, you're drunk. Can we have this conversation when you're not drunk?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And so she has like blow drying her hair. She's like, shh. As it is now, I mean, I would say we're not really in a relationship right now, you know? And everyone gets a look like, oh geez. And goes, oh my God, what am I supposed to do?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And Shep's like, that's not true. And he's like, yeah, you've been so stressed out.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
yeah you stressed him so much that he blacked out and he slept on the beach and she's like ew she just gives us like like crows and she's like by the way that's such a cock block move also god okay so he's like old habits die hard friend and austin's mouth like what the is wrong with you greg and he's like a lot a lot he's like well yeah you know what shep's allowed to get drunk you know because he's sad you know he's allowed to fall asleep on the
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
fucking beast if you want so i mean he's a grown man if you ask craig he's like a 45 year old drunk well according to you last reunion he was also a 45 year old drunk which is why you didn't talk to him between last season and this season i'm not the only person remembering this show these people are on this show
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
That's not very nice to say, especially to the tune of family tunes, family ties.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So he's like, well, you want to date? Did you tell her you want to date her and be exclusive?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And he's like, and what did you say, Sienna?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Because of course Vanita's there for the, so you're saying he's still got a chance, right? Yeah. Right. So he's still got a chance. Like, no, and there's not a chance for you either, Vanita. Calm your desperate ass down too.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
It's not a commitment. We also don't know that she said, I love you.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
i have not heard any confirmation that she said that and i have heard confirmation that shep is twisting everything that comes out of this girl's mouth if not outright lying so i don't know that i even believe that in the first place so shep's like guys please don't grill her too bad but he's got a big smile on his face right because this is like her this is like his revenge he's like all right you don't want me then you're subject to my friends have fun
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Bye. yeah because he's basically like this isn't great so go she's like yeah i just wanted like to address the problem you know i wanted to save it after the trip but you insisted that we sit down and talk about it uh which you know again is shep just refusing to listen to anything that she has to say and then being shocked when he doesn't get the answers that he's demanding you know
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So then back at the table, Austin and Craig are talking about it. And he's like, yeah, Craig is just sitting here being like, well, say something. You know, I'm like, I just don't want to like shit down her throat, Craig. And he's like, yeah, but every second she's here, she gives him false hope every second.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So Shep walks off with Sienna and he's like, I just wanted to come here and us be madly in love. Well, you know what? I wanted a 10 inch dick and $5 million, but guess what? The world had other plans.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So it's like, she's running for cover. That's how I see it. She knows the truth. She loves me. She just doesn't want to say it. And he's like, you know, I just don't want you to be on the firing line for an hour and a half. And she's like, yeah, I guess I should leave then, right? And he's like, yeah, I guess that's best. But it's not an indication of what I want to have happen, right?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
You understand that, right? She's like, no, I got it.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
so oh gosh so now everybody's like that's the worst dinner ever and so they move over to the couches and the fire pit thingy and um they they play fire fireworks come up which i have a feeling shep paid for it to get his big romantic yeah i think so oh there's no reason there's no reason for fireworks they're just eating a conch salad
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Boy, in my life, that works, but not here. So he's like, wow, you know, Sienna, I thought that even though we guess, I guess we didn't define it, but God, I hate that. It's so millennial having to define things. And then she just kind of looks away like he farted again. And he's like, wait, are you a millennial? She's probably a Gen Z-er, you fucking tool, but that doesn't make it any better.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
and so then shep and sienna are still are still hugging goodbye this is a very long goodbye process yeah truly so they're hugging by and she's like don't hate me shab okay and he's like i love the smell of you ew what part of no don't you understand go away how do you even have smelling senses left
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And by this time, we can see that Craig is just drunk, he's red-faced, and you know what happens when Craig gets that way. I'm surprised he didn't pull out a wad of cash and just start throwing at everybody, going, I'm too rich for this. So Craig's in that mode. Yeah, seriously. Yeah, he's in just belligerent drunk mode. So he's just being a dick. Oh, it's overkill.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Like even for him, it's overkill. So Austin's like, we know that, you know, read the room. So he's like, oh my God. And by the way, this has gotta be fucking awful for Taylor. Taylor, is this like a meat grinder for you to watch him fight for a girl when he didn't, he never even fought for you?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So she's like, yeah, at this age, you should be very confident in who you are and confident in your life. And you're not. And it's pathetic. And I would just like to say. Bullshit. No, you shouldn't.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
As someone who's older than this, be careful what you say until you're that age, because you always think that you're going to be, you're going to have it together and have a certain amount of confidence at a certain age. Don't count on it, sister.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And then Craig's just like, why? And he's like, I'm going to see her tonight. She's coming to dinner. And Craig's like, oh God, the necklace isn't the weird thing. The dinner is. So she's coming to dinner, give her the necklace. I mean, I think the decision's dinner. That's crazy. That's the crazy part. You don't have dinner with somebody that's not in love with you. Those are the rules of love.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
You won't be so sure anymore. So watch your overconfidence there, lady. So now Shep goes back to the table and he's doing the, poor me, I guess I'll just eat dinner alone.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Lobster shell spewing everywhere while everyone watches him and talks about how pathetic he is.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And she's like, well, we're your friend first and Team Shep first before her. And he's like, yeah.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And then all of Juliet's friends came out and started throwing glass bottles at his head. God, I love that show.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
But instead, I was going to say, you ruined the dinner. What are you talking?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So he's like, I'm just here to be real.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Then he stumbles over to the bar, and the bartender's like, hey, how's your night?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
well you know when something's cool and you're like what happened why well that's what kind of happened right now i mean i opened the fan i grabbed her by the wrist i had her and then somehow she got the the nerve to roll her blade off i mean you know all i did is i walked up to her i said could you be loved and i said we could have one love next thing you know she's making an exodus i'm just trying to have my redemption song it's just really hard but i don't want to wait in vain
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
The bartender's like, show me that smile again.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Pretty sure it was Alan Thicke.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So back to the cast on the couches. Craig's like, I told you guys all of this stuff would happen. I said, if you invite her to dinner, it's going to fuck the whole dinner up.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Yeah, he's just such a asshole. He is so hard to take right now. So he's like, Austin, I know you love me. He goes, yeah. And he goes, but do you have a hard time not hating me? And Austin just cracks up and he's like, yeah, sometimes. Sure. And he's like, because sometimes when I look at your face, when I do shit, I was like, he fucking hates me. It's like, wow, you should see mine.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
They're sisters for life. My favorite thing Madison said about them. They're sisters. So Craig's like, hey, what do I do that drives you so fucking mad? And he's like, well, you take one thing and then, like, You know, you just gotta, you know, you turn it.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And you know this, Craig. You're an embellisher, okay? And you want to put yourself in the best light possible.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
What an idiot. And they all start cracking up. And he's like, I think that my self-improvement, like you take it personally. What are you talking about? You're still sitting here the same belligerent drunk you've always been. Nothing has changed about you. You're still the same compulsively lying belligerent drunk. There is nothing that's changed about you, Craig. Sorry.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
You're trying to sell it just like Shep is. Not buying.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So now Vanita has got a text and she kind of shows it to Sally, but then hides it. And she's like, oh my God, like seriously, are those all from JT? And she's like, yeah. And she's like, yeah, I can't stray away from what I just saw on your phone. I mean, just paragraphs. That means he really likes you. You know what I mean? That shit goes on and on. That means the guy really likes you.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
I mean, he has feelings for you more than a friend. No. And Vanita nods. She's like, yes. Yes, he does. Okay. So here we get to the Vanita section. Now we talked about this on crappy hour. So anybody who wants to hear this more in length, just go listen to that episode.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So Vanita came out with an Instagram after the last episode telling us that the scene of Branzino dinner with what's his buns was filmed after this trip. So she's saying the editors are trying to make her look like some homewrecking, you know, floozy. And she's not going to stand by that because that scene was shot after.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So that left me with some questions like, well, but then he just told you on this trip, I have a girlfriend. Get off of me twice. And you still made that Branzino dinner for him. So that was one kind of confusing thing for me. So now she says, so after last night, I for sure know that the feelings I have for JT, JT also has for me like 100%. And there's no question. There's no doubting.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So I was like, wow, he likes me. Like, he likes me, likes me. So JT, I'm sorry, but if JT has a girlfriend in this moment, I feel sorry for the girl on the other side because he's spending all this time talking and texting me and he's giving you crumbs. So why are you coming out with a story with an Instagram thing saying they're just editing you to make you look like a homewrecker?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
You know he has a girlfriend and you're still going for JT. Now, does that let him off the hook for still texting her paragraphs and paragraphs when he knows how she feels? No. JT's a dog and a piece of crap. But I just don't get the whole Vanita thing.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
You're just like, keep it simple. It's just too many texts. He's ick to begin with. So that's all the thought you need to put into it.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Greg, I mean, we're honest. Okay, all you care about is like this like little story that you're like building for yourself and your reputation, this wonderful image. He's like, an image? He goes, yeah. Like you're disappointed in disappointing someone and being like, oh, they can't see me with the beer in my hand or something. And he's like, but do you think I project an image that isn't me? Yeah.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Craig. Yeah, because we've seen you. He's like, yes, I do. Yeah, he's like, yeah, you know, you have an image to protect. And he's like, just loosen up the reins. And he's like, yeah, but I do that because I don't have any leash on myself. That's any addict. And then Craig lays the storyline on him.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
He's like, I was like, you know, trying not to be an alcoholic is now affecting my friendship with Austin.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Yeah. He's like, yeah, looking, look at Jeb walk. He ends up on the beach, you know? I'm like, I don't want to do that anymore. I'm just lucky. You know, I'm lucky I got out of it.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
now that said i mean in the beginning of the season when this whole argument with austin happened i'm team craig because it is hard when you quit doing stuff and you have to like try and maintain relationships with your friend group and they're not supportive and they're like why aren't you drinking why aren't you doing coke why are you drinking why are you doing coke you want some coke are you sure you don't want to drink you know i get that you know i've lived it it's hard uh so i'm team craig
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
yeah and shep's over it now he's like what and also shep didn't sleep on the beach because of her he slept on the beach because he's a drunk okay yeah keep himself in line that's why he slept on the beach he slept on the beach not because of love it's because of demons so shep is like
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
for that, but Craig still acts like a little asshole beyond that. And so the whole like addict thing while he's currently drunk is just a little uncomfortable for me. But I think in general, I'm still team Craig, as far as that argument goes.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Yeah. And so he's like, yeah, you know, maybe that's why the image that you were thinking I was trying to portray, but that is what I was trying to do. You know, I'm not trying to convince other people. I'm actually trying to, like, become that.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Um, so it was nice, you know, this conversation was actually kind of nice, even though my cynicism, half of me is still screaming, shut up, Craig, because he's acted like such a fucking asshole the past few weeks.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Yeah. So they hug and they say they love each other and all of that good stuff. And he's like, wow, it's just so freeing to be transparent. You know, like if we could have had this conversation sooner, it would save this heartache. So they agree to find new quality time together. And doesn't this feel like the end episode of the season?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
The next morning they have, they're leaving. And so Craig has paid for, which he's sure to let everybody know. I paid for flamingos. Cause I was like, yeah, they offer that. So I paid for it cause I'm not poor.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
He just goes down there and starts stomping in rhythm around the room. So basically, they're down there playing with flamingos at breakfast, and Madison's like, those fucking things are scary.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And they're so trained, too, because, you know, they have the people that are bringing them or whatever. They're they're tamed, I guess I should say. So they're just they're working the room. You know, they're like, I'm just walking up to people like shrimp, just staring at them. All right. Well, don't say I didn't do my job.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
They might as well just be new cast members for the amount we get from some of the new cast members. They're working it harder, you know? So then Shep has food all over his face, of course, at breakfast.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
I had a lot of laughter, a lot of emotions, but laughter and laughter, cheers and cheers, Shakespeare reference after Shakespeare reference, which I totally get because I've read them all.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And that brings us to the end of Southern Charm, everybody. Next recap will be live next week in Minneapolis. So come see us over there. Also Cincinnati and Toronto. Get your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. We're also about to go record the Traders season finale for Patreon. So if you want to hear that stuff, go over to Patreon.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And remember, if you're a new sign up, sign up online, not through the Apple app. You can still use the Apple app after you've signed up, but sign up not through that greedy little app. We sure love you guys. We'll talk to you next time. Bye. Bye.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Yeah, Craig is in full on belligerent drunk Craig mode this whole episode. But it's funny because he's still got his waving judgy finger around. So it's like perfect Craig. It's like bloated faced, red faced Craig, you know, judging everybody while he's a walking fucking mess. You know, it's perfect. And also Shep, just to say it again, Shep is not being led on by this girl.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
How is he being let on when she won't even show up anywhere or shoot with him? He's not being let on. He's being told pretty clearly and he's not listening.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Not anymore. It's over. So he's like, so what good is this dinner going to do?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So Shep's like, Craig gets it in his mind that someone's not right for one of his friends and he will not back down. And so he's like, don't ask me to be rational at this moment. That's ridiculous. I'm a boy, a boy with a heart, a heart that's in love.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Yeah, if this goes awry, then we're done with her. And he goes, spell awry. Which is really funny. I like that he's trying to neg Craig on his way out. I don't think you're allowed to neg people when you're carrying around a Megalodon necklace to give to somebody. You fucking jackass.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And then Rodrigo, just one of the guys, he's like, Jesus Christ.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Have we seen Whitney in linen before? It's a weird, it's just so wrinkly for Whitney. But I like it. I mean, Whitney's a fun person to watch sink into alcoholism. I have to say, because he's always kind of kept it together, but he is no longer keeping it together.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
He just kind of wanders around the beach trolling for, you know, young people and then just joins in the slut-shamed girls every once in a while wasted, you know?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So he goes to Madison's room and she's getting ready. He's like, you have never put that on.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
He's like, hey, I want you to do the, do the smokey eyes, do the smokey eyes medicine.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And he's like, it's not you, like you don't look like one anyway. Wow, Whitney, every episode in, Whitney's in this season, he's disgusting. It's usually a couple, but it's, it's pretty, he's batting pretty high this time.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So why are you so worked up about this, Craig? Jeez. Rodrigo's like, he's an empath.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
JT saying he wants justice doesn't mean I can't also want justice. I'm a lawyer and a storyteller.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So now the beach dinner table, Shep comes, you know, and he's like,
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
You haven't read Macbeth, have you? Good. Good. Just roll with it. Keep it in.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
I just have to say, Shep, is this guy who set up everything, this D'Amico guy, Shep's like, wow, so you set up dinner?
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Yeah, he knows how to fucking light it, Shep. He works it. Like, Shep's just like, you're local. Are you sure you understand how fires work? Need any help with that? Sit down.
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#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Well, that's good. It probably sounded like a fart, which is what it looks like Sienna just smelled. So he's like, how are you? And she's like- Like, kind of looking at the ground. And, you know, he's like, oh, wow, you know, I told you I got a gift. I'm going to give it to you. Do you want it? She's like, I mean, I like gifts. Yeah, sure.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
What happened to dessert? When are they going to bring? And scene. All right, so we pick up where we left off last time. God, these part threes of the reunions. I'm like, I did something. I deserve a paycheck. This is a lot. I don't know how they do it for all those hours. But God, I love watching it.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Brittany, go ahead, have a seat right there. She's like, I don't get a grand entrance? I mean, and Brittany, have you not seen my TikTok?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Oh, hi, oh, hi, Suzuki, Suzuki, green salad, feta cheese.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Are you insinuating that I have an eating disorder, Andy? And I'm like, it just shows Meredith.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
All right, everybody. Well, she likes Tzatziki, but this one records every conversation that you might be having. Let's welcome Brittany Bateman to the stage. Brittany?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
All right, well, thanks a lot now. Britney, can you tell us how you fixed your hair? Did you wear a Karasau Cermetique?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Also, the men here. My God.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Okay, okay. Poor Britney. Literally. I know, I know.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
You guys, be nice to Brittany. Takes one to know one, okay? I've had bad hair my whole life. Brittany speaks for all of us.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
I'll say Jared, at least. At least that would be believable. LAUGHTER We're gay. I don't care where that thing has been. I don't know what you all are worried about. Everyone's like, Jared has been with everybody. I was like, who hasn't? Send him on. Send him over.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Good Lord. How do you do it? How do you do it? So, did you guys- No, look at him just moving on. No, I need to talk about the men. They're so hot. I was actually trying to figure it out at lunch today. I'm like, how are they so hot here? I mean, we've been to a lot of places. They're like, even the ugly ones are hot. It's true. I was like, that's the ugliest guy in the Mexican food restaurant.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Okay. So Andy's like, all right, well, what's the latest between you and Jared? And she's like, oh, we've been broken up. Don't worry, everybody. I'm standing strong this time. This time we are done. Hold on a second. Jared's calling me. I'll be in the parking lot.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
They don't even need it because Heather's there, you know. She's with her receipts. She's like, receipts of you being at Cliffs. Timeline of you being at the premiere party together. What are the other ones?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
It's like Cher forgetting her own songs because she's sung them so many times. I know. Receipts. Proof. Timeline. Receipts. Proof.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So wait, was it just deleted or was it deleted, deleted of the deleted? Heather has always got a best of clip show running in her own mind. She does. My girl, focus. We're still in the year.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
I'd still do that guy. I mean, he's gorgeous. And Ben thinks it's because of backpacking. That's Ben's theory.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Flashback to Bronwyn being like, so are you really into him because he's Jared? Or are you into him because he's an Osmund, yes? Because you're using him. Is that what you're saying? You're admitting that you're using him?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So Bronwyn's like, well, I don't know if that's the case. I really don't. But maybe it is the case. And it probably wasn't super cool of me to insinuate that, you know, especially before I bought that necklace. I'm owning up to it. I'm owning up to it. So my feeling is he wouldn't claim you publicly and he was treating you poorly.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And, you know, everything I know about Jared, I mean, he is categorically the worst. So you've heard about his text, right? Shall I read something that he sent to me? Shall I? Shall I? Should I? Should I? Is my phone coming out?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And so we see his tweets come on the screen. She is so damaged from her past relationships that she makes me out to be the bad guy. I need to date a stable woman. And then about Bronwyn, there's something really off about you. I think I figured it out. You're a tragic little bitch.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Well, that's not the same thing. You can say you have a micro penis without calling me a bitch. Those are two different things, sir.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
He's the only one. He's usually very respectful and don't call women bitches unless they bring up his penis. Then it's just, it's all out the window.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So Heather's like, listen, I just, I've never heard anything, but I would never put Osmond and micropenis in the same sentence. What, are you going to come after Brigham Young's package next? This is Utah. You don't do that here. You don't do that here.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Now, you know it was one of us, too. And I was so proud of this little messy gay guy. I was so proud of him because he got in there. He's like, a certain individual comes into the spot. I was like, girl, you're not supposed to say that. Isn't there like HIPAA laws or some shit? You can't say that. How else are we supposed to have sex with the mayor?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Hey, you can still be a good fuck with a micro penis.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And we're back. So Bronwyn's like, and I was blown away by it, no pun intended. To which, you know, do you want me to read what Jared sent me? Do you want me to read it? I'm going to read it. Do you want me to? You do?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Come on now. It is filthy. It is filthy. And Brittany's like, no, no, that's not necessary. He told me about it.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Okay, okay. Honestly, Bronwyn, what the fucking hell is your fucking problem? I'm a little bit country. You're a little bit rock and roll. Are you fucking kidding me? Coming out on national television, making fun of my anatomy, you little bitch. Do you even understand the backlash I'm getting on social? I guarantee I'm twice the size of any man you've ever... She's with a 65-year-old man.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Well, whatever you're doing, please keep doing it.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Let me tell you what keeps growing. Your ears, your nose, and your nuts. Those things are down to the ground by now. You can say a lot about Todd, but I'm sure that thing could be used as a scarf at this point. You get off Todd's nuts.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
I am disgusted by what a low vibrational. Oh, I love when people bring self-help while they're they bring in like pop psychology terms while they're calling a woman a bitch. I know you're a low vibrational human to disparage me like that. Oh, for the sake of trying to earn your spot on the show. Oh, and this is my favorite part. Everybody wait for it. All right, we've waited for 18 ellipses nods.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
That was very good. It was a communist iguana, which was rough. It was hard to get past that, but it was delicious food.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
You can go ahead now. I could certainly pick apart all your anatomy, but I'll remain classy in the public eye and keep it between you and me. Oh, thanks.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Boo, Jared Osmond. Boom. And also, to all the women giving Jared Osmond, can we just have some self-respect? For Christ's sake, I don't ask for it much, but just in this one case. He's not hot enough for that. No one is hot enough for that, but especially him.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
He's like, well, actually, you know, Jared is saying that you're only on the show because of him. And she's like, oh, I know that. I saw that. But it was after another breakup. He's only disrespectful when you talk about his penis or between breakups. So don't worry about it.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Shut up, Jared. Shut up.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Yeah. Well, listen, I know that he love bombs you, but you should not take the love bombing. Stop taking the love bombing, Brittany. Just stop it.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So she's like, this chapter is 1000% closed, everybody. Who are you texting, Brittany?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So helping from To Conserve Springs wants to know if this group changed your opinion of Brittany knowing that she wasn't speaking to her daughters. And listen, before we even get into this, they didn't bring up a whole lot of the speaking to your daughters thing on the show, right? Well, I mean, Brittany sure as hell tried.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
I don't know. Isn't this just part of parenthood? Did you get this? Me and my mother are friends, but there have been long periods where we didn't speak, and no one got on her ass about it.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So Lisa's like, yeah, you know what? It's a very sensitive situation, Andy. You know?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
I need a tissue. And he's like, so you're estranged? And she goes, no, no. Actually, since we wrapped filming... I've reconnected with both of them. We literally talk every day. They say, hello, thank you for calling me. I'm not available right now. And I just tell them about my day. I mean, it's just wonderful every day. Just so comforting.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Yeah. And you know, you watch these shows and you see people accept their awards and cry and they're like, this changed my life. And it's so amazing to like change lives. Yeah. Like that. That's so important. And our, one of our winners, you know, she's just, her life has totally changed. She's been getting movie offers. They've been dropping bags of money on her head. Yeah.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Our kids have to come first, right? I am Greek. And Brittany's like, absolutely, absolutely. That is the biggest regret of my life. Hold on, my daughter's calling. Wait, Jared's calling. Jared? Could you call my daughter and tell her that I'm talking to you first? Thank you. You see? It's all working out, Andy.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Oh, my God. Another speech.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
yeah you know what it's just really hard people don't understand when you're a mom and you're single you just want to date and sometimes a man comes along and your daughter's a little bitch I mean I don't blame her sometimes it just fogs you over what are you going to do I'm like Heather can you just have a moment of not sticking up for the worst fucking actions on the show no matter what happens hey Jared called her a bitch well they don't like when you make fun of their micro penises that's just what it is Jen Shah's a monster
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
But she's a good telemarketer.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Do you know how much I could have done? I mean, I could have been the belle of the ball. I could have done so many things. And I said no. Until the man who could barely walk came along. And he used a phone that didn't even have a plug that worked anymore. And I said, that's him. That's him. It felt safe. And Brittany's like, that's true. And so you know this?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And so instead of supporting me, you were the only one that knew why I was estranged from my daughters, actually. Out of everyone here, you had a personal connection. So why did you meddle? Why did you pour gasoline? Why did... She's like doing the facial. You know, the gasoline facial. The hand movement for gasoline. She's like... you pouring gasoline all over it. Why would you do such a thing?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Well, I know you want to blame me for that. Oh, so you didn't pour gasoline? Gasoline?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Yes, you did, gasoline. No, I actually didn't. And I know you didn't actually talk to my daughters. You used your flying monkeys to do it.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And so she really wanted to be able to cry in public. So we're proud to give her that opportunity. Yeah.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
It's so cute to me. She's great. Because she believes it, you know, she's so delusional, I love it. And then he's like, right! All right, well, this season, Puerto Vallarta, she didn't only bring Vita Tequila, someone brought a recording device!
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And Bronwyn was like, how dare you, Lisa? I thought we were friends and you put me in a different villa? After everything I've done for you for 10 years, you put me in a villa down the hall? How could you, Lisa? How could you? I will be coming for you for the rest of my goddamn life.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
But also, you know, something that's missing is when I got to the villa, I was like, oh my God, my room is amazing. So I wanted Bronwyn to have the same room. And in the other villa, there was a room just like my room. So I was trying to give it to you, Bronwyn. Which I thought was a good answer. That was a good one. But they don't care because it's Lisa and Lisa's so crazy.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
They're just like, shut up, Lisa. So anyway, let's talk about your dog bite.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Yeah, that was terrible. Oh, my God. That was not good.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
But this turned into one of the best parts of the reunion because she's like, well, you know. You're not, I did all the wrong things because you know that when a dog is in that state, you don't get in the middle of it. You don't try to pull it. You don't try to do things like that. There's things you have to do to stop the dog. And I just did it wrong.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And someone goes, yeah, you have to, I heard you put your finger up their butt. And she's like, well, okay. Or pull the tail or the finger in the butt. I mean, I don't know. And Mary just goes, no, the butt doesn't work.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
This actually is high body count hair.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And they say we don't ever learn anything about Mary. I'll never forget that. I want to know what happened. I want to know what dog it was. Now who has trauma?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
I just got sick of it getting pulled. Yeah, yeah.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
She's like, actually, I made sure that the dog was okay. I started a school for dogs, actually named for this dog. I bought all of the dogs in the school diamond necklaces. They were about $8 million each, I think.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Lisa, why would you storm out of the Bezos Vida dinner in Mexico? Why did Angie point out that she was learning more about Bronwyn's marriage on the yacht than she knows about your entire life? Why did that hurt you?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And Lisa's like, no. But I was going to set it up where she would feel comfortable telling you so you guys could have resolve. You know what I mean? And Brittany's like, thank you, Meredith. Thank you so much for sticking up for me. What?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
He's like, she should be able to take me out. I am a hairdresser. I'm a beauty school girl. And there's nothing wrong with that. And Lisa's like, are you directing this at me? She's like, no, no, I'm telling you that she has an education. She should be able to sit down and have a conversation. LAUGHTER
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
All right, all right, all right. I'm not following this. I wasn't either. I was like, this is my favorite show, and I don't know what the fuck you people are talking about.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Lisa's literally in the back like, Lisa, please get off the cross. That's a Bezos sign. All right.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Girl, no one accused Todd of giving hand jobs in the fucking, I mean, come on, man. They're different things. My marriage. And she's like, totally different scenarios, okay? How is it different? How? Go ahead. Tell me. Tell me.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
She can, Whitney can't even see.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
I said that they have a great marriage and that Todd adores her, that he adores her. Yeah, but the problem was you were saying that after Bronwyn was like, Todd just cheated on me. And Lisa's like, love him.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
I'm allowed to say what I want about my marriage. That's my right. I'm allowed to say it. Todd cheated. No, he didn't. But I'm not responsible for your switch ups. I did not say that. Yes, he cheated. He did not cheat. So we cheated.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So then she's like, not only am I allowed to say it, but you shouldn't be on a hot mic telling Angie, oh, I don't know why she's looking for sympathy about that. Which I don't think she said. She didn't say it at all. She's like, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. She's like, you did say that. You said it on a hot mic walking out on the boat. Let's see what she says.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And then we see the clip of Lisa saying, oh, my God, Angie, Todd's going to lose his mind.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So then Lisa's like, no, because you know what? I was just suggesting it all. And that doesn't happen often with me. So you know what? You told me that your husband was launching a new hedge fund. And like, when have you stuck up for me in public anyway? She goes, oh, remember that time when I said very, very lightly, that's not the Lisa I know? So there it is. And then we see her.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
That's why we got it for you.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
They're like, Lisa's a bitch. She goes, that's not the Lisa I know.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
We're not handing you a pizza, lady, all right?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So now they're blah, blah, blah, fighting over each other and stuff.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Brittany, if you were so concerned Meredith was crying and throwing up.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Why didn't you talk to her? She goes, I did talk to her. Meredith's like, yeah, she did talk to me. I told her she was full of shit, and then she talked to everyone else about it.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And Brittany's like, I'm sorry, but listen, the sound of somebody throwing up is indistinguishable.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Now Meredith does cough like that. It's like a hairball comes up.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So Brittany's like, I'm sorry, but it's an indistinguishable... Gay tongue, sorry. It's an indistinguishable sound, and I don't want to out you, but I literally woke up from a dead sleep, and Bronwyn just goes, oh no, stop her. Just stop her.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Do not care. I am not going to let you spread lies about me. I have heard the lies, and I have not...
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
She's always packing her purse. She's like, I am.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Well, you're a liar. She's like, but that's my truth. I don't give a shit what your truth is. So then Andy's like, well, did she even accuse you of having an eating disorder? I didn't hear that part. And Lisa's like, but it got back to her that that was sad. So that's what really counts.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
But I had an eating disorder. Everybody literally went, oh, Jesus Christ.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
She's like, you know. This is the middle of the trial. We are not accepting new trauma evidence. This needs to get into the courtroom before the reunion.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
All right, so how has it changed for you this year? I mean, you've been on the show. This is your third season, right, on the show. But this was your first year kind of like humming out. Yes. How did it feel to be given the star glow up? I came out of the closet.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Well, not really. I mean, they were similar.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So she's just not going to admit shit, this girl. She's like, all of that was true. I was making a video for Olivia while I was making an audition for America's Next Top Model while at the same time I was reciting poetry and recording at the back of a bus seat. So fucking what?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
I was like, what am I doing? Brittany's like, it was two seconds. It was two seconds. And Brittany knows that this is a lie. She's watched the show. She's seen the 24 second counter. But I love Brittany's just commitment to a lie. You know what I mean? Learn something, Bronwyn. It's not the lying. It's the commitment. You know?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
All right, well, get over it. It's done. Mary does Mary. She goes, oh, well, get over it. It's done. And hopefully you are too.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
I love Brittany's horrified face because the only thing that moves is her upper lip and her nose. She's like,
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
For the record, I really like you, Mary. I just, I don't know why you don't like me. And she goes, you're not honest, and you don't take accountability, and your emotional intelligence is not matured, and you're lopsided. Well, damn. The bedside manner.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Don't say that around this show.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So Mary did. You talked to Jen Shaw from prison. And everyone's like, dun, dun, dun.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
because Jen Shaw just abused you to your face. Monica stalked your ass behind your back. And they're like, she abused us, Whitney.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Listen, she's serving her time. She's trying to make things correct. She's doing a musical about housewives in the prison yard and she wanted to do some research. I'm sorry for helping out a performer.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
For fuck's sake, Whitney, just spit it out.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Mary's like, no, no, I'm against forgiveness. Well, I mean, she said she's sorry. She's paying everybody. What is she supposed to do? Mary's like, never forgive. I love that the preacher is just like, no, fuck her.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
That's not what I was going to do it. So they never get to the bottom of it. And everybody's like, how dare you speak with Jen Shoggan? You all are going to film with her again in a year. Yes. So. Get the fuck over it. Now might be the time to start kissing. Oh, they're bringing her back. I'm sorry. She's out now. They have changed it again to where she's coming out in November of 2026.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So she will be back. Don't you think this this channel is really going to be like, oh, my God, the girl who just went to prison and now is back and could possibly slam Heather for lying about a black guy is going to not be back on this channel. Come on.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
All right, so anyway, Andy moves on. He's like, Heather, you were so sweet when you asked everybody to read the meanest texts about each other from their phones to bridge the gap. What were you thinking, Mary Sunshine? And she's like, you know, it's like immersion therapy where you're traumatized, but then you just have to hear the worst things about yourself to move forward, Andy. You know...
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Why give words power, Andy? Words have no power, except for in my book. Please buy my second book, which is out now, HarperCollins.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Like Lisa Barlow? Lisa Barlow couldn't burn it? Lisa Barlow wasn't burning an old fact. You guys were bringing new evidence that she was giving handjobs, or her husband was getting handjobs while she was making out with random people. That is new. You can't burn new evidence. You burn things from the past. Stupid Whitney's like, I was just trying to be your friend.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
It was really difficult.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
She's like holding Bronwyn's dress back.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And Lisa's like, well, I don't have to burn it. I'm my own person. I don't have to do what everyone else does.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
I'm not talking about my marriage. You just tried to pull something out of your phone tonight about me, Lisa. And that's, you know, the whole Emma thing, the jewelry thing.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Whitney literally took Bronwyn's dress and was like,
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Whitney used to make me so mad, and now she's one of my favorite people. I just think she's so funny. And that they sat her behind that dress the whole night, and she just sat there and took it like, I'm going to say something funny.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
But I chose that because that's the thing that hurt you the most. You had never said it. It didn't hurt her the most until you said it on the TV. I mean, look, I know that we all... kind of think that's false, I'm guessing, but also I can't stop thinking of John Barlow getting hand jobs from Randall's at parties! I can't stop!
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And she's like, yeah, but there's something. And Heather's like, but don't you want to repair this with Whitney? We're here for love. Repair. Whitney, read that monologue I put in your phone.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So Bronwyn's like, yeah, but then you pulled something out of your phone to try and burn me today, Lisa. Remember that? For fuck's sake, lady. And Lisa's like, okay, you're going to turn into that? You know what? Talk. Lisa drops her tears immediately. She's like...
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
They were doing their jobs.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
It's like working in a meat packing district and getting mad that they're packing up a meat.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
But it wasn't yours. It was that night that you made up a new rumor, Whitney. She goes, okay, but you know what? Then I forgive you, but then you do it again. You know what? Saying you're sorry means you'll never do it again. No, it doesn't. I say that every time I'm pulled into court for a traffic ticket. And guess what? I still run that fucking stop sign every time.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And every time I do it, I say, that shouldn't be here.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Does everyone want to get fired from the show? Now's the time we make up. So they drop their tears, and Lisa's like, you know what, Whitney, I love you so much. And Whitney's like, oh. She's like, yeah, I love you so much, Whitney. Please let's never not be friends again. Let's start over.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
She's like, all right, Whitney. You're pushing it, Whitney.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And Maddie's like, no, no, end it there. End it there. It's over. Sit down with me. Sit down. All right. So now we're back with the final thoughts on the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. I want to close on a positive note. I'm going to read these texts that I've written about all of you. Shut up. Be quiet. I hate you. Why do I do this job? I should have gone to college.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Poor Brittany. So, Mary has to say something about Heather, and I have to hand it to Mary. She really has had to change, because I really thought Mary was just going to go, she's thinner. Yeah.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Yeah. So then Lisa has to say something positive about Whitney. And she's like, she works hard. She's a great mom. Her daughter is a soda-holic and it's kind of embarrassing, but she deals with that addiction pretty well. So, you know, great. So then Lisa, Andy's like, all right, Meredith, say something nice about Angie and Sean.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Yeah, that was pretty good. I do have some homosexual friends through my son. I hope that's okay to say. And each one of them has said that they would pass your husband around like an hors d'oeuvre tray at a party.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So, Angie has something positive to say about Meredith. She's like, I think she is a lovely mother and grape leaves and tzatziki and pita and hummus. The end. He's like, all right. Well, I guess that's all we're going to get from her. All right. Bronwyn, say something nice about Heather.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
All right, Heather, you want to return the favor to Bronwyn? And she's like, well, as a survivor of trauma... I just want to say that I know the trauma Bronwyn's been through because I have been through it and I've outlined it with receipts, proof, timeline, and a brand new book.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
All right, now who's next? And Mary goes, Andy, you do me. I hate these bitches.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So they do their final toast with Miller High Life because that's Mary's favorite.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
When you put it in your mouth and you switch it around a little bit, just wondering, are my teeth wide enough yet? You're my sisters. I'm never going to forget you forever. Let's be sisters. Sisterhood.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Congratulations on a great season. And that brings us to the end of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley auto.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Yes, we canna, it's Savannah.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
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Watch What Crappens
#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Yeah, it was... When do you guys find out, like, what position your snowflake is in?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Yes. In Salt Lake City, they cordon you off into a different area to have your drinks. I always know who my people are. Hello.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
If you think the girl has hoe hair and you tell her, I mean, you deserve that shit.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Can I just say, I love that Jen was looking for somewhere to get her hair, and the place she was attracted to was called Lunatic Fringe.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
And what about Monica? Did you sense any of that, like, kind of star... climbing, I don't know, what would you call it? Yeah, stalking.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
When you were speaking with Monica, did you ever hear clicks on your side of the phone? Just kidding, just kidding.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Yeah. Oh, well, that's good.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
So do you know when you guys start shooting? Are you shooting yet? Probably in a week or two, no? Or you're not allowed to say?
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Well, yeah, I mean, it's housewives. You can't like all of them all the time. You'd be out of a job.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
All right, well, we like you. Thank you so much for being here. We love you.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Oh, we love you, Angie. Thank you.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
All right, Angie Catanevas, ladies and gentlemen. So good. Wow, what an honor. Yeah. Bye. What an honor. That was great.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
That's about the audience. That's Genyo, everyone.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
This thing only gets my face at good angles. It won't get ugly angle face to unlock. It's like, you look ugly right now, I will not unlock. I have to be like... Got a space selfie myself. It's like, okay. How cool was that? That was so fun. That was amazing. All right. Well, here we are with part three of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City reunion.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
I actually really like that show. I love all the gigantic houses with no personality on that show. I'm really into it. I'm from Texas. We have the same thing. Just add some, like, big bullhorns, and we'll be the same.
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#2721 RHOSLC S5E19: Bye Body Count Hair - Live from SLC
Girls, girls. Friendship is not calling each other sluts. Okay? Friendship is not muffins. Friendship is not kittens. Friendship is not car washes.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
I know he did. I know he did. So whatever. Whatever you guys want to think. Craig's doing his full arms on the back of the couch, you know, thing that he does when he gets like super temper tantrum-y.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
You started the fight, Craig. You are the dog in this fight. You're the dog. You are the wolf. Oh, you cried wolf. You cried handsome, handsome wolf. You cried devastatingly dimple in the chin, handsome. God damn, you're a prince. Wolf. Greg does look very handsome in this reunion. I am going to say. He always looks handsome. That's how he gets away with everything. He's adorable.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
He has a great little smile. and he gets away with whatever the fuck he wants to, and he will continue to for the rest of his life. Because he's one of those people that even when he's all old and scraggling, he's going to have sparkly little eyes and dimples and that smile, and he's just going to get away with everything, you know?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
The way that you told America you were going to start putting 20% tariffs on everything so they were all going to go broke was cold.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
That ain't me. Prove it. Prove it. But see, the thing he's saying, he's like, okay, but take the bitch part out of it. The rest of this stuff was even worse, but they've already addressed that other stuff. He's already admitted to that other stuff and that stuff is over. So no, it's not worse. This is the thing you lied about.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
And this is the worst thing because it's like the producer of the show, Whitney. And it's his mom. Like, yeah, that could get him kicked off the show. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
You're like one of my favorite Shakespeare characters, Hall Bunyan. Sometimes you tell a tall tale. And so JT's like, wait, are you serious right now? You're gonna say, and I called her a bitch. I mean, what's the 90%, Craig? And Shep's like, I mean, come on, JT. You played this moral outreach game on us. Like, we can't tolerate this behavior from a friend.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
And Craig's like, yeah, you know, we said, you said we were enabling Austin to cheat on his girlfriend by staying friends with him. I mean, come on.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
JT ruined himself in that first episode. He just ruined himself. I mean, he was... He did this to himself, not the Patricia bitch thing, but he did all of the rest of this to himself. In one episode, he fucked up his entire life on this show.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Yeah, and I spy at every single word of it. But there's a montage of me lying. He's like, yeah, OK, roll the tape. I'll show you. I'll walk you through it. I'll walk you through it and show you what it's like.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Yeah, I was sitting here on my my hairy worm and I was like, we're going to the place where I get to finally clear my name of being a liar.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
And it is just a montage of Craig lying his ass off. I mean, constantly lying. The whole, like, well, okay, well, I didn't pass the bar exam because I didn't get my diploma. Isn't that what he said? Like, I didn't finish just because I didn't get my diploma or something.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
And then he goes to his parents and he's sitting with Whitney and Shep and he's like, yeah, well, I mean, come on, guys, I passed a fucking bar. And they're like, uh, did you?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
It's okay to be fallible. Listen, I mean, you used Adderall as a crutch, so now you have to use that you used Adderall as a crutch as a crutch. Don't you understand? Now you'll have two crutches and you can walk. Do I need to show you how to do this? It's year 10.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Well, I would never say anything on camera that could impeach me. At the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing, and that's the life of the poor. It's like, Craig, you fucking moron. They just showed a whole thing of you impeaching yourself, sir. Yeah, yeah. Speaking of, how is he not a politician yet? That's his next move, right?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Craig's going to be like mayor of something or a politician or a congressman or some bullshit. You know that's coming.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
So Patricia arrives and Rod sees her. He's like, whoa, the queen has landed. Wow, the queen is here. Wow, everybody.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Yeah. So Vanita takes a drink over to JT's room. She's like, I brought this as a truce. Oh, Vanita, the respect. Drink. Have the bartender make a glass of self-respect, please, because I can't.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
i didn't realize it was sugar i thought he was saying you trying to kill me joking that she was trying to poison him but that's funny she's like here's this micro spar as a truce that's how that's how i took it because he was like my alarm might go off or something like that oh so um okay then respect is back respect is back a solid murder the solid murder attempt okay i'm back in
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
producer's like are you guys flirting again well i'm just trying to be good how is your mother it's like oh god snooze i love that rod uh rod has nothing to say through this whole reunion except like little offhand comments like kind of off camera when they're not filming he just walks up to jt he's like so are you ready for miss pat to apologize because she's right over there have fun
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
will get my phone and she storms out of the wrong door on the set and she's like i'm gonna leave looking cute and she goes to her room she's like give me my phone so she gets her phone and she comes back and i was really excited because i'm so confused over this timeline still of anita and jt dating and what she's got on her phone and what these receipts prove and last week i said okay i'm gonna hold space for you know vanita
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
so we see um young shep and young craig and i was like the sizzle reel right this isn't even on the show this is just the sizzle reel of the show and whitney especially looks i mean they really do all look different and i have to say 10 years has been rough on most of these guys good lord do you guys just ever put on sunscreen now i don't look like i did 10 years ago either but i don't look that different i mean good lord
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Yeah, and Craig is like, yeah, you know, I always say that my wife isn't born yet. That's a joke. When Craig was struggling so hard to be just like the other guys, he's like, yeah, I'm super rich and I love dating young chicks.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
these gentlemen are good looking accomplished rich not even married little scamps so then uh shep talks about wanting a family but there's a window the window should open soon but it'll probably close in about 10 to 12 years and like all the cast is like awkward it's been 12 years
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Pat's like, Andy asked Patricia how she looks so great. She's like,
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
So... I subtracted commercials, Andy. I'm a brain surgeon. So, then we go to... That's it. They're like, okay, bye. Bye, Miss Pat. Jesus, that was a plane ride. That's all? So then we go to... We didn't even ask if she forgives JT. Like, we didn't even get that question. That was, like, the biggest thing of the season, right?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
So... I was impressed JT didn't try and give her a cane. Just, like, as a joke. Like, thinking, I'm going to make this hilarious. I'm going to offer her the cane again to see if it's okay.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Here's the cane, Miss Patricia. Oh, well, how sweet of you. Another kind. Well, this one has bitch inscribed on it. So, well. At least he's up in his game.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
basically being completely like this whole thing making sense you know and i still don't know what i still don't really get it i mean i guess i get the timeline i just thought these receipts were going to be more than they were they were really built up to be huge receipts and they weren't
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
But my point was it was dismissive and boarded on rude how she said it. Okay, so is that better? Okay, she's not mean. She's dismissive and rude. So there you go, jiggly ladies. Okay, you can stop Instagramming me now.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
I know, they cut the most handsome part of the whole thing. They cut to it ten times. I'm like, how did you not cut to the two guys in the back going like this?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Care Bear, that's a cartoon our children could watch together one day. And I just wanted to be caring to you. You understand what I'm saying?" So she's like, um, well, on that text on the 29th, I said, I need to take some time right now. A boom, a boom. So that was me telling you I was taking time, which means I'm not going to be talking to you. And he's like, but then I called you multiple times.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Didn't I text you? Didn't I call you? Did I text call you? I FaceTimed you even. All right, I WhatsAppped you. I WhatsAppped you. I tried every way I could. And she goes, yeah, that weekend when I was on a break from you. And he goes, yeah, so what does that leave me? In the dark, in the dark, reaching out every day. Where'd she go? It's a grab box of boobs in there.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
And there was a long montage to show us Craig and Paige, just, you know, so we don't have to go through it all. Just imagine this for 10 minutes. You're stupid. Shut up. Okay. And montage. So, all right. Well, Craig, I know we have to discuss the breakup, but first I want to know, how's the sewing business going?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Yeah, no one's ever done it before, but I'm happy to be the first man on the moon, Andy, which is also round. So, branding.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Well, you got some flack this season for being concerned about your image more than your friends. So what do you think about that? And Chef's like, but I mean, there has to be a balance, right? Look at me. I have only friends and no business. That's called balance, Craig. You know?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
So Andy's like, Austin, did his relationship with Paige, oh, sorry. Austin, did his relationship with Paige cause him to pull back from his friendship with you? Here's your chance to do what you always do on this show, gentlemen, and blame the woman. And so Austin's like, well, you know, to get in a relationship like Craig was in, I mean, there's no shame to make that person your number one.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
But, you know, I mean, when did things go wrong? I can't even tell you, Andy. It's insane.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Is this a reject all cookies situation?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Taylor's like, I'm sorry, but you already hit that checkbox.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
I'm in the dark grabbing things. I didn't know if it was you. I didn't know if it was her.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
yeah like i'm going through a really hard time so to uh stay at home and then not have my prop that i've worked so hard to get to my house there really hurt andy really really well looking from the outside it seemed like you were setting up a life for the two of you that only one of you was interested in let's roll the clip
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Yeah, but that was the whole scene where it was just so clear where he's like, look, look at this goat. Like, we're going to have goats. She's like, no, gross. Okay, but, like, goats are like children. We can't wait to have children, right, Paige? And she's like, disgusting. He's like, oh, my God, I'm so glad we're on the same page.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
And she says, I don't want to.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
He's such a fucking weirdo. What does that mean? I'm working on myself to stop reacting to signs. What does that mean? That's like the dumbest thing you could possibly do. And he says that she stopped visiting in Charleston because she was quote unquote too busy. No, not quote unquote.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Not quote unquote, she's too fucking busy to be flying every weekend to see you because you won't leave your goddamn store, sir. Okay. 60 show tour. Yeah. So he's like, and she didn't come to my Nashville store. That's weird. She should have gone. I mean, that is kind of weird because she was too busy. Quote unquote.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Break up with them. I mean, if you're not even going to go to your boyfriend's store that they opened, that is weird.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
I can't believe it. Quote, unquote, too busy is kind of the problem with you, Craig, you know? And he's like, yeah, it was so confusing being in a relationship sometimes. Yeah, because you kept telling her the things that she is and she kept telling you that she's not those things, Craig.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
It's confusing because you were trying to implant what you wanted onto somebody instead of listening to what they wanted.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
So then he goes into this again, which I still don't believe. Yeah, she was like, I'd like you to get me a ring. I think it's time. I just, I don't ever hear those words coming out of her mouth. I just don't hear it. I don't believe it. So he says he had a four carat elongated cushion cut made with half carat diamonds around the band.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
And then after he got the ring, she was like, no, you need to wait until I announce the business. What business? I don't know. Do you know what you're talking about? But looking back, it didn't feel right, you know? And so he's going to take it back because I don't really give jewelry like my friend over there. And Shep's like, it was a Megalodon tooth. The other one was a great white course.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
How many times do I have to explain it?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Yeah, that's not ghosting you, sir. Yeah, that's not ghosting you, sir. Now, no one asked the question, why does she say in an interview on Ryan Bailey's podcast when this trailer dropped and all this stuff happened, that he was the one who ghosted her? because that's what she said. So that's why I'm still confused because none of the real questions are being asked here.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Do you mean like those ducks in that sweet cartoon with Scrooge McDuck? Because our children could watch that Vanita one day. All right, shut up JT, your segment's over. Paige responded to the accusation. She said, the narrative took a turn really quickly that I cheated. Let me say this here and now. I did not cheat on my ex-boyfriend.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
We were broken up for a full month and I didn't say anything because he asked me not to say anything." And Craig goes, that's not true. Yes, it fucking is. You even said yourself that she broke up with you right after Thanksgiving. and you didn't believe it and didn't wanna talk about it.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
So you really did not, you really did not say you wanna go public with it, then why did she have to text you and tell you that she was gonna go public with it a month later, Craig? If you had never, bullshit.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
We don't have HR here. But Craig is acting like, well, I'm not even going to talk. I would never say anything like that. I'm just not going to talk about it. Hinting that, yes, she might have cheated. But meanwhile, he just said that she broke up with him right after Thanksgiving, and she wasn't rumored to date this guy for a month later. So you can't have it both ways.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
You're admitting that she's telling the truth, yet hinting that she's fucking lying, Craig. This is why Craig's a piece of shit, you know? And he keeps looking down like, I just can't believe it. Yeah, you can. She broke up with you a month prior. Oh my God. Yeah.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
um yeah and he's like yeah they said that like i'm it's my fault for not going on every little reddit thread and defending her those weren't little reddit threads those were huge news stories as your friends just pointed out to you sir um for you not to even come out and say no this is she didn't cheat it's shitty of you if you want to stay friends with her so then um
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
A douche from Bags R My Life, because I live in Charleston, says on Twitter, women everywhere are going to be pursuing Craig so hard after seeing how he cheated or how he treated Paige. I mean, telling a woman that she shouldn't have a career once she has a family, I mean, it's just so sexy, Craig. What do you think? Have you talked to Paige? And he's like, no, she cut me out of my life.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
She cut me out of her life.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
I need to be asked about the timeline that she has set forth in social media since all of this happened. I'm very confused. Now, am I confused that JT is a douchebag? No, I am not. JT is still 100% a douchebag because he's like, what? What? You said you needed a break and then you turned into Caspo. Where'd she go? Where'd you go, Marat?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Craig, who's so ready for marriage that all he wants to do is find someone that he can immediately settle down with and have babies, is dating someone who's young, in her 20s, influencer who only dates sports figures. Really bringing your whole storyline truth to light here, Craig.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
and you're the sucker for that. Sucker! So then at the break, Rod, of course, messy ass Rod, this is the only time he speaks. He's like, so Shep, when are you gonna start screaming and yelling? Your turn's coming up soon. All right, I'll go back, sit over here and say nothing.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
So we basically talk about how they got together and they started making it work again, and that Greg thinks it's so offensive that they accused him of curating his image. And he's like, so insulting. I can't believe my friends would say that. You know, I was just working on myself. You know, where I come from, if you stop drinking alcohol, it's because you have a problem with alcohol.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
you know so to be fair when we got to the bahamas austin finally understood it when i told him i was having a problem with alcohol as i drank a full bottle of alcohol by myself from the bottle yeah i mean i guess i could have seen some signs too with your past like maybe he does have a problem with alcohol but like when he stopped running he stopped he started running stop signs and he was insane he like saw no signs hey i was working on that
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Yeah, and he's like, you know, I'm just like terrified of Craig. So you're scared of him? Yeah, I'm terrified of him sometimes. And so Andy's like, so Craig, do you have a bad temper? He goes, I'm working on it. That's why I don't drink anymore on camera. And so Andy's like, so is anyone else scared of Craig? And pretty much everybody raises their hands.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
And we see a clip of him kind of having a fit at the table. They're like, why would you be mad? And they show a clip of the table where he's kind of questioning people or whatever. But why didn't they show the clip of him walking into that room being like, oh, fuck this.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Right. So next up, they show a clip of where Paige was saying, oh my God, like you've got this guy, Austin, like what grown man complains that his friend wants to stay home and stop drinking? Like what kind of man does that? And someone on Twitter called him a mean guy for that. And they're like, oh my God, yeah, that was really mean of Paige. Well, how do you guys want it?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Like, if she didn't ever stand up for me, you'd be like, Paige never sticks up for him. Paige was so mean to him. But now Paige is sticking up for him, you know? Craig does say, like, she was just sticking up for me.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Yeah, so next up is the podcast, Craig trying to buy the podcast for 30 grand. And Craig's like, you know, I get frustrated with Austin because I know his goals. And if he got like me and stopped drinking on camera, he could get there, you know? All he really needs is a good friend to, like, do all of his business for him. Use his name to become a success. Like, you know, I really believe in him.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Yeah, well, I was disappointed, because you were drinking. Oh, shut the fuck up, Craig. Give me a break. On Sunday, having a mimosa brunch? Come on. And he's, you know, so they do the whole, like, here, man, because I don't, I was, you don't, sorry. Craig, you're like, I don't want to go out anymore, you know?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Like, I get margs with rods at Santee's, and we're home by 8 o'clock, and you're, like, judging me for it, you know?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
He's like, well, I mean, I guess I respect him, but seeing him drink makes me mad. So then Rodrigo gets asked a question, you know, does, does Austin complain about getting judged by Craig? And he's like, I mean, he's like, it's just like weird for him to be judgmental. Cause like, he's not hurting anybody. Like, what's he doing? He's just drinking. Like what the hell?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Well, yeah, it's just like you're saying, like, I live in soap. That's not cool. Like, I just remodeled my house, you know? And if you think I'm better than you, you guys just shouldn't be my friend then. You just shouldn't be my friend. That's such an obnoxious response. He's like, I'm really working on my anger. Oh, really? You don't agree with me? We can't be friends then. Idiots. Poor people.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
I can't control the way you perceive my actions. Yeah, and Vanita's like, dude, he's trying to tell you how he feels. You're being rude. He's like, uh-uh, then don't be my friend then.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Well, you admitted something really personal to Austin, and we love pretending that we care about alcohol addiction problems on this show before we offer our guests full bars. and drink every night after the show. Okay, so let's talk about alcoholism. Craig, I think I have a problem with alcohol. Wow, that was so brave, Craig. So brave. And he's like, yeah, it's weird to talk about.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
So who doesn't have their phone at their best friend's wedding? How else do you take pictures and, like, make Instagram stories? Yeah, you're an influencer. I mean, if your friend invited you, she wants you to tell your followers how cute she looked in her wedding dress. What kind of best friend is this?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
And Leva's like, Well, yeah, but you know what? If you were open, this entire friend group would scoop you up and have your back. I just think you have addictive personality where it's all page, or it's all work, or it's all whatever. The universe put these gods in your life to have balance. You need some balance, not new balance, which you cannot wear after 8 p.m. in any of my clubs.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Oh, God. So Andy's like, well, you changed your relationship with alcohol, but Austin's still terrified of you. What do you think of that, Craig? And he's like, I mean, I'm saying it sucks you guys think that about me. I'm going to work on it with new friends, you know? And they're like, well, maybe you need to just be more communication. That's the buzzword today.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
You just need more communication. No, it's not communication. You just saw what happens when Craig tries to communicate or people try to communicate with Craig. So everybody's like, oh my God, you guys should be so fun. You're like the heart of this show, guys. And Craig goes, well, maybe I'll have a celebratory beer with you.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
And no one bats an eye, because they all know, like with Craig, you just don't know what... Well, he could have meant non-alcoholic, but the problem with Craig and his whole sobriety thing for me, and the reason I rag on it and don't with other people...
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
is well i do some people but the reason i rag on it with craig is because he literally used the word alcoholic and it's just i just don't believe that he's quit alcohol and he said multiple times he had a problem with hard liquor so he'll only drink beer and he's drinking less than he's not going out and getting wasted but he's still drinking socially or whatever okay that's okay if you want to do that but to be like i'm an alcoholic and use that as like your
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
your kind of sympathy storyline when you're still drinking alcohol. It's like, no, that's not how you quit drinking. It's just a mind fuck. And Craig just gets away with these little, like, I'm gonna let people believe by drinking non-alcoholic beers that I'm not drinking at all.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
And then if he's ever called on drinking or being seen drinking, he's like, oh, well, that's because it's just like, I'm drinking less. Okay, so which is it? You know, it's just a Craig answer, and it's just frustrating to listen to Craig lie over and over.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Yeah, drop your life. I'm impregnating you. So basically it's like now it's the part of the reunion where everyone's like, oh my God, we can totally repair all of our friendships. And JT cares about people one day at a time, guys. One day at a time. Not seven days. Otherwise, I'm finding another girlfriend. Okay.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Well, auntie, look everybody, we're all on a TV show. Who would have ever guessed it? And you know, being on TV is so hard, because people are so mean to us on the internet. They call me George Washington Teeth, and make Shakespeare jokes and stuff, and shark necklace jokes. But you know what, at the end of the day,
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
I'm a good little boy, and you all know it, and I'm a better person now, because I haven't fucked over any woman on TV this year, and also got victimized by a gold-digging slut in the Bahamas! So cheers to me, cheers to us, but mostly to me, everybody. If there are any 22-year-olds out there who want an old man who gets mailbox money, give me a call! Cheers!
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Yes, we can-a, it's Sedana.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. We're on the floor with Molly Dorsett.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
And then, so she took a week off and then he was like, okay, you want to take a week? Then I'm choosing that girl and I'm putting it on Instagram. So super mature. And how can that little beaver keep two women on the string like that? How? How does he have that many? That's the power of television. I'm telling you, the power of being cast on television that it has for these men is insane.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Like, why would you post that? And Levis says, I mean, is it that Vanita hurt your feelings? And then so you got revenge on her by like posting this other girl. He's like, no, no, not at all. Okay. But after a week for trying for someone I care about so much, I said, I can't sit here in limbo. I've got two balls in the air. What kind of juggler would I be if I didn't catch at least one of them?
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
So Vanita's like, okay, look. If you had just said verbatim, listen, I know you're taking time, but I've got stuff on my heart and we need to talk immediately because there's an expiration date on this other Instagram home. But you did not, you did not give me that. Well, he did text you and say he care. I mean, why is that? I don't think that she should even give him this out is what I'm saying.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
It's going to be dead by next week. Sorry.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Like, no, there's no way that he could be with you. Then you get yelled at by his ex-girlfriend and then you take a week off from him and then he suddenly announces that he's with that girlfriend. I don't think there's any way that he could, there's anything that he could have said that would have made that okay and stop giving him that out. I don't like it.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
bitchiest housewife of all time, Sashore Medea. She said that she went to dinner with Bunny and Vanita. So Vanita knew that they were girlfriend and boyfriend. And then she continued to pursue JT during the season, which we kind of saw, even though JT was making it sound like that was no big deal with this girl and he still hadn't decided, all of this stuff.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
So I think the way that JT is presenting it to this other girl is like, I told her I had a girlfriend, but then on camera, she kept flirting with me and trying to make things happen. And I wasn't doing anything. And it's just, you know, I don't know what's going on, but she's probably trying to make me look single on the show and nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
And so he's probably making Vanita sound crazy to where this girl's like, you stop fucking with my boyfriend. Like, I don't even know that this girlfriend knew that he was actually technically dating Vanita. I thought the girlfriend was probably like, we need a break. I need a break from you. This is too much. And so on his break, he's like, fine, you're not calling me back all day, Vanita.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Yeah, sure. But I think the road leads back to JT both times, and he is the douchebag in this situation. And you're right. I think that both of them should be mad at him and not each other.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Well, do you want to be friends with Anita? And this is where I was like, after all of this, all of these previews of Anita being like, I'm getting the receipts. Here's my receipts. You're a liar. I thought she'd be like, no, fuck this little fucking guy. But no, she doesn't. She pauses and then goes, yeah, yeah. And do you want to date him still? Long, long pause.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
I know, I can't. I'm trying so hard, Medina. You know, I like you. Deep down, I really do like you. Just your choices. So she's like, but I'm not going to allow myself to work on friendship with her in the picture because I know that she doesn't like me. So that's a weird stance to take. Like, break up with your girlfriend or you can't be friends with me.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
But if you break up with your girlfriend, I'm gonna date you. It's like, what? So JT's like, well, step one is being here today and seeing you in person. And lots of tiny little fragments of my face in your dress. Man, we just need to take it one day at a time. Too soon. I just came out with my alcoholism storyline, bro. Sorry, Chris.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
I was just referencing the television show one day at a time, which coincidentally our children could also watch together one day. It was very wholesome.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Well, despite JT being on the F-boy hot seat this season, he was proselytizing on truth. Now, Austin and Madison, did you coordinate your polka dots as JT alleged? That was hilarious. Well, let's roll the polka dot footage, guys. Let's roll.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
Yeah, I said, he's been seeing a lot of girls, Andy. That's totally different than dating. Am I right? So I'm off the hook on this one, guys. Thanks. So Austin's like, okay, okay. Well, look, I had met Audrey six months prior to being in an official relationship with Audrey. So I knew Audrey, but I wasn't like official with Audrey.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
So... Okay, so you were seeing a lot of other people during that time. So why are you villainizing Leva? She wasn't lying. Also, Audrey, run. Run, Audrey. Run, girl. Come on.
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#2791 Southern Charm S10E17: Okay, My TED Talk Is Over
You sound like such a dad. Come over here, girl. Get me some more drinks towards the golf cart. I'm over here, the blue golf cart. Come over here. You're a darling. You're a darling.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay. I thought, oh, wow, that was nice. Okay, so Austin's like, yeah, I talked to Craig and he was like, what are you doing later? And I was like, oh my God, this is so awkward.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
It's so crazy. It's like nuts right now. But like, I'm going to dinner. And he was like, who with who? And I was like, well, a bunch of us. And he was like, what? Where have you been quite? And I was like, well, it's Pat's birthday.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
This is so this cast to just make Craig feel like shit on purpose, just so they could have a storyline of Craig feeling like shit.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Yeah, and Shep's like, I don't think it's a big deal that Craig's not here. I mean, gosh, if Craig thinks it's a big deal, then maybe he should make more of an effort. Weren't you the one who just got dumped by the entire cast last season because you were such an asshole and such a disgusting pig in Vegas for like the 10th time that they couldn't even stand to be around you?
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
What are you talking about? He needs to make more of an effort. Fuck off. And Whitney's just sitting there smiling like, yeah, they're dicks. These guys are such assholes.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
It's time for a Krappens commercial. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Could you imagine if I said that about you? That's crazy. Oh, yeah. I really only talk to him like the eight times a week that we do a show together. I mean, other than that, it's like half my life. It's more than I've ever talked to anybody literally in my life. I can't imagine degrading it to be like, oh, we're not even friends. It's just only business. That's crazy.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
If you're looking to get away with all the fabulous luxe experience of the Housewives, but none of the drama, check out Virgin Voyages.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
I can, but they just keep shitting on him for things that should be impressive. Like, they should be things you should be proud of your friends for. But Pat's like, well, he's trying to be Martha Stewart. Well, God forbid you're talking to a table of people who don't do jack shit. Like, nothing.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
God forbid one of them tries to make something of themselves and is actually in a decent relationship for a few years in a row, which neither of these has accomplished either, including your child. And you guys are sitting here dissing him like he's the biggest loser at the table. These other guys are the ones here, like, fucking getting free dinner off some lady, you know? Yes.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Their friend's mom still in their fucking 40s. Give me a break, man.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
What CEO is there in a hard hat? I mean, look, it's crazy because I think you're correct that it can get annoying. Craig can get annoying with his whole like, oh, I think about his business. Like he does have annoying parts, but the fact that they're using all of this stuff that he's accomplished is a bad thing. Like, look at Craig.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
He's just a figurehead selling pillows all the time and making money. You guys sound so fucking pathetic. What have you ever done that's been successful, Shep? Name it. Name it.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
No one wants to support. It's crazy to these guys that anybody would enter their 40s by not being wasted and fucking 20-year-olds from bars on King Street that they're using their D-list celebrity to get. They're like, what? Why isn't he still doing coke and fucking randos every night?
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Yeah. You literally just tore him down all last season for being his friend. And then he got so bad in Vegas that he had to put distance between you. Why are you making it sound like it's somebody else's fault? What a loser. And when he's like, I prefer old Craig, he was far more interesting when he was drinking bourbon.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Listen, I'm sure you're more interesting when I'm drinking bourbon, but that's not a cool thing to say about somebody else. Look at them fucking idiots.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
You literally do nothing but shoot scenes with your mother. You fucking weirdo. What have you ever done interesting on this show except fuck teenagers that you can later cast for five minutes of fame. You fucking weirdo.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
He, you didn't leave him. It's not like he just disappeared. He left you because you're a fucking disgusting, assaulting drunk. Okay. So Shep's like, well, you know, the people just like who's Craig and sewing down South because of his old fallible self. But the current Craig is always hawking product. And it's because, and of course it's the woman's fault because Paige is a business woman.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
So she ruined Craig. She brought Craig. She bought, she made Craig healthy and happy and successful. Fuck her.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
I'm like, that's the least honest and least human fuck. Are you saying this after you've lied for seasons and cheated on everybody you've ever been with? Consistently lied and then threw cans at a homeless woman and told her I like your hands. Is that your human nature? You fuck.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Like you haven't been talking about this nonstop with everybody else on the cast. So then... We go see Molly making her bed. And I think that's all we see of Molly.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
It's insane right now. And he's like, don't say anything to him about last night.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
I mean, listen, we had dinner. I mean, listen, it's got to be Madison that got him agitated, right?
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And he's like, yeah, it's certainly not my intention of going there today and saying, then he said this and then he said this and then she said this. It's like my own things I want to say.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Yeah. So he does. He goes over there and Craig's, you know, doing his garden, which does look amazing. His backyard does look amazing. It does. Austin comes in. It's kind of awkward. And it's like, basically, I just wanted to come by because it was just fucking awkward without you there last night.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Well, it was a combination of thinking you were out of town and also saying that she hadn't talked to Craig much, you know?
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And then the conversation switched to your absence. And he's like, wait, so you talked about my absence at a birthday party I wasn't invited to?
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
But look, here's my thing. As somebody who started drinking a lot less recently, you know, I still drink. I still have my mumps. I'm not totally sober, but I cleaned up my life a lot in the past year or two. And it's led to weirdness sometimes. Like my friends don't really know how to deal with it. They didn't know at first how to deal with it. They know better now. At first, they didn't know.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And I didn't really know either, because frankly, if I'm not drinking and getting wasted with everybody, I don't want to go sit at a bar with them all night. And some people you're like, that's all we do. We go sit at a bar all night. We get shit faced. We do drugs, whatever. And if I'm not doing that anymore, then why do I want to be there? You don't want to be around a bunch of people.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And he's saying, you know, but that's how I am. I don't talk about things.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And it was hard to find other things to do, you know, or just be like, now we're just having dinner and not being shit faced. It's seven. Is that okay with you? You know? And we had to get to a place where you, as an adult, you just have to do that. I can't be wasted every fucking night. I'm sorry. I can be wasted some nights, but I just can't do it anymore every night.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And it's hard to get through that. But like a bunch of 40 year olds, literally sitting around, like you won't get wasted with me. So now we can't hang out and be friends. And now you're not going to be invited anywhere. Grow the fuck up. I mean, you children, that's why everybody around them gets younger and younger as they get older and grosser and crustier.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
They're just surrounded by all these stupid influencer girls who need likes.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And he's like, no.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Well, it's a show that they're the three male leads on, and Patricia is with Whitney, so they're obviously purposely excluding Craig to be dicks. I mean, this is their show. For them to not invite Craig to Patricia's dinner with all the insider cast members there is a horrible, dickish move. That's not cool.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
That's like a blatant we're trying to push you out of this show kind of a move just because you've got your shit together.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
They showed the scene in this episode where he was just at lunch with them. Then they showed him just at the gym with them. I mean, he is with them. They're full of shit.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Okay. Great communication over there, guys. That's worrisome. I mean, I get his not wanting to worry somebody until he knows. But yeah, you got to tell your wife.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Well, I think if it was, like, from how I'm looking at it, if it was Austin just saying, hey, Craig, here's how I feel about our friendship, that's one thing. But this is about Craig not being invited to Patricia's birthday party, which is a totally different thing. And Austin's making this like, well, you don't come golfing with me. It's like, well, why am I being kicked out of this inner circle?
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Basically, what happened last season is Austin and Craig were like, fuck Shep. He can't treat everybody like this anymore. It's to the point where he's literally assaulting people in public. He's making us all look terrible. We both have businesses that we want to protect. They totally turned on him at the reunion and were like, no, Shep, you can't act like this anymore.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
We're making a stand against you. And now Shep has turned it around with Whitney and Patricia, apparently, as their winning accomplices, who are making it now that this is all Craig's fault.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
the reason they weren't hanging out with shep was shep's being a drunk assaulting alcoholic part that was his fault but now they're this season they're making it sound like oh craig's the one that's been no austin you were not hanging out with shep until last week or whenever you started shooting the show again because they even had that conversation at the beginning of this where shep's like i want us to get back no one hangs out with me anymore and he's like okay we'll be friends again so then they kind of forgave him but now they've shep has somehow managed to turn this into
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
It's all Craig's fault for thinking he's better than us. When Shep is the fucking one who got cut off for being a drunk who keeps assaulting people every time they're in public. It's making me crazy. It's not that Craig is innocent. It's just that Shep and Whitney are such pieces of shit.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
That's just the thing. They don't communicate. He's gone half the time. And then he gets really jealous, assuming that she's hooking up with Austin on trips. There's some worrisome stuff here. Yeah. There's some red flags. So then we go back. It's just this red flag is really hot and has a great job. So nobody really wants to point it out, but there's some red flags. It's not good. Yeah.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Hmm. Well, I think that's an interest. Listen, that's an interesting argument. I could never, ever feel sorry for Austin. And I get what Craig is saying. I don't, I don't like it. He just misses me being way.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
I think there's something also like he only likes me because I'm wasted with him, which I guess I sympathize with that because that's happened to me where it's like, you don't like me unless I'm drunk ass Ronnie with you, encouraging you to be drunk ass, whatever, whoever, you know? And if not, it's like, I'm worthless. Like I'm still sitting here and able to have a conversation.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And Craig's like, I tell you to come over all the time. You guys don't want to do that. You want to go bang 20 year olds on fucking King street. You know, you don't want to do this. So go do what you want to do. It's not like I don't want to be your friends. I just don't want to be wasted in a bar with you. And I'm not, I'm worth more than just being some wasted guy in a bar to prop you up.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
You know what I mean? So I guess that's kind of how I'm taking what Craig says. Now that said, obviously Craig's fucking annoying. And I see what you're saying, you know, because Craig is annoying. And when they do that golf thing and he's cutting to the, cutting to the picture or cutting to the video of him, like, well, here's how we're doing gardening.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
He doesn't even know anything about any of this stuff. Like when he was trying to pretend he was a food connoisseur a couple of weeks ago and couldn't even open the fucking wine bottle, you know,
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
But haven't we seen Craig hanging out with everybody all the time? I'm confused. Like, what's Craig not been at?
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Whitney lived in California. I don't think Shep doesn't either. Shep isn't ever there. Shep's constantly traveling. Shep's never in town. I mean, I think the only one who's there is Craig and Austin, and I think they do hang out. That's why I'm so confused by this whole...
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Yeah. Well, I just feel like they're coming after Craig constantly. They come after him every year for like being, first of all, they're coming at him for being a fucking loser and a compulsive liar and he can't keep a job and he's never going to have a career.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Then they're making fun of him for his sewing and being a loser with that and always staying home and just working on a stupid sewing and getting a stupid house that's ugly and it's never clean. He never does the work on his house. Then he gets his shit together and does get in a good relationship with a girl that they consider much better because they all hated Naomi.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
me so then he gets in a better relationship and someone that they would all kind of respect and he does get his shit together and they still hate him it's like he can't the guy never wins every season he's their fucking punching bag and meanwhile they're both losers austin and shep they're both fucking losers well that's why they're parents and don't do anything and then they they kick craig every single time he's down it's just like craig has his faults but i'm not gonna listen to it from those two jackasses you know
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
especially their chef and loser fucking cheater Austin. I'm not, I don't, I don't feel shit for those two.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Because why should he just be okay being pushed off the show? Because these losers have decided...
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
that he's going to be put like it's just not it's just not fair for them to one day decide okay you're not going to kiss our ass and you don't get to come to a main filming you don't want to hang out with the guys on the show though then you that's also like why is that okay too like if you're on the show hanging out with the guys on the show he hasn't been refusing to hang out with the guys on the show this was like a patricia's event this was like patricia having her guys night and not inviting one of the lead cast members and then bringing the replacement gays on instead
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Doesn't Ranvi sound like a shortened? I'm sorry, Ben. What were you saying?
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
I mean, that's just like, that's just some, I think there's more going on behind the scenes.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Don't you they're saying flat out what it is, which is he's annoying now that he's successful. And we know that Craig is annoying. You see it, you know, and it's the thing of it. I keep bringing up, which is the winter house. I'm rich now. I don't have to clean.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
I think that's probably the attitude that they're talking about, where he, like, is so big in his own mind that he's just fucking obnoxious. And now it's all about his influencing and his, you know, I can see how that stuff would be annoying. I just think that bringing it to a head like this with him, where it's just like, you're not invited to filming anymore, is just...
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
I mean, look, I can see that side of it for sure, but here's where it gets me. He goes, yeah, but Craig, you want to hide out and not make the effort. And Craig says, yeah, but we record twice a week and we see each other at the gym. First of all, recording, I get that that's your job, but that's also not nothing. That's literally them sitting there shooting the shit with each other.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And then when you see each other at the gym, that's not work either. That's where you sit and you chat with your friends. Like that's...
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
any friend i've gone to the gym with that's been our quality time where we go and we hang out and we talk to each other and we catch up i've never gone to a to the gym with a friend where it's been like a work formal situation so if someone came to me and was like wow so you record you spend two two to three hours a week talking to me and then like five days a week hanging out with me at the gym and that's not enough i'd be like
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Oh, it doesn't sound like a shortened, like prescription drug name.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
You're fucking needy and weird. Like what more do you need from me?
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Yeah. OK. I mean, I agree with everything you're saying. I think I'm sure Craig is just annoying the hell out of everybody. My main sticking point is this is like a main shooting event and you're trying to push him out.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And that's just not like I don't think he's done anything to warrant that, especially when Shep is there just being fucking vile, vile to the point where the whole cast has to take a step back. And Shep is still invited to spit food all over your face all night. So I just think that was shitty, mostly on Patricia and Whitney's part.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
you know most well you know never forget craig is the one who tried not to invite naomi to his birthday party and then everyone pressured him and he finally did and put her in that well that was his show that she was coming back onto after dating whitney to get back on it which was also another fucking sticking point which i still think is totally gross of whitney
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
It's like, okay, you can come back on the show if you're dating me. It's like, where is HR on this show? But Craig didn't owe Naomi anything. He broke up with Naomi a long time ago. That's a different thing. Naomi wasn't just a lead character that was still on the show being pushed out.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Well, you know, and not just be like, OK, and not just be like, we just need to agree to disagree because it's like more of the same thing over and over. But I agree with what you're saying. I mean, I do see the annoying side of Craig. I'm just never. There's nothing you can ever say that's going to ever make me feel empathy for Austin.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Whitney. Yes, mother. So Renvi comes in and she's a new lady. It's Renvi. Hi, Renvi. Welcome, everybody. Here she is.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Yeah. Well, so either way, that's good. I'm glad you're feeling things. I feel nothing.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Yeah. So fuck that guy. Fuck that guy forever.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
It's gross. And so Craig is basically like, look, our friendship's never going to look like it used to. And I would never tell you how to live your life. And he's like, I'm not telling you how to live your life. And he's like, well, then what do you want from me? And I know you're not making a face at me because I didn't come to your house and do this. And so Austin's like, I get it. He's changed.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
But when you're changing, you're supposed to keep your closest friends the closest or whatever. And so he's like, all right, well, you can either swim or leave.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Oh, they're always, this is the same thing they do every year. One of them is always on the outs, you know, and they have to make that one suffer for the whole season. And this year it's Craig's turn, I guess, but yeah.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Of course. Well, and also this leads to whatever happens next year, which is going to be single Craig. So that's a whole different thing because that's Craig right back into the position of going out with his friends, meeting people and kind of, is he going to slide back into that or is he going to, what's he going to do? I don't know.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
I don't really believe that Craig is this reformed guy either. You know, that whole scene where he was like, oh, welcome to my pool. It was another scene at his pool. All the scenes were at his pool, which I guess is your point and Austin's point. But he was doing that scene where someone came over and he was cleaning up soda cans or whatever, beer cans.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
I guess it was his seltzer I read about later from all over the backyard when apparently they had had some party. And he's like, oh, I have a little cold. Want to get in the hot tub in my little cold? I was like, okay. So you were partying and doing coke all night. So he's not completely this reformed angel, you know? So.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And I'm like. Don't they all though? Isn't this whole season Shep getting off scot-free? What has Shep had to do? Shep immediately came back like,
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Like, totally behaving himself. And everyone's like, oh, yeah, you know the real problem in this group? It's not the grab-ass old lech who's, like, we can't take in public because he's humiliating the entire cast and network. It's Craig, who has a job and a girlfriend now. Like, how do you do that? Like, he's magic. His manipulation is magical.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
But we're never hanging out outside of this podcast again.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
No. I'll put on Shannon's bull door hat.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here with us. It is good to be back. Go get your tickets for the Golden Crappies and also our shows in San Francisco and San Diego coming up at the end of the month over at watchwhatcrappens.com. Check out this video on Patreon. Join us next week for a two-part Traders cast breakdown over on Patreon. Plus...
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
New recaps of Southern Hospitality and the nine million other shows we are currently covering. We love you guys. We'll talk to you next time.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana see, Dana do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels!
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Hava Nagila Weber. Know Your Worth with Jason Kerr.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay B. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And I like this friendship because she just comes in and Patricia says, well, hello, sweetie. And she goes, oh, hello. And then they don't kiss or hug or anything. And I was like, oh, yes, I love this icy, this icy frenemy shit.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
It's Sedana.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. Give him hell, Miss Noel. Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
You know, one of the things we always like to say is nobody envy Renvi. Poor Renvi is just like, this is going to be fun. It's going to be great. So then they go to a restaurant. It's called Lowland. It's just ironic. We just bring Renvi here to remind her where she's from.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Hey, do you have a sister restaurant called Lowerland that we can get envy some ass at?
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
So Austin comes and Eddie and Ryan, the new gays, who still are not justifying that spot that Ryan is getting in the opening credits and poster. Why is he on the poster? He has had two lines in this whole episode. I need more from you, gay. All right. Yeah.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
A second lover?
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Do you remember Renvi? No, neither does anybody else. She's actually a regular here. The waiter just came and poured a cup of water into her. I said, that's not a water glass.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Sorry, Renvi. It's not your shape. It's your personality.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Everyone just go slap Randy.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Well, I think the dermatologist... Oh, here's a... I have to make a confession. Ding, ding, ding. I've been lying this whole time about my age. I'm really 108. Hold on. Hold for laughter. All right.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Book now at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
That laughter wasn't loud enough. Renvy, walk around in your underwear.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Hey, one of nobody's favorite things, Renvy. Am I right?
Watch What Crappens
#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Well, I think a dermatologist is your best friend and also the dentist. I go every three months. If you don't take care of your teeth, that makes you look old.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
I took Randy to the dentist one time for a checkup with my doctor, and he said we don't put teeth into tree stumps.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Just wanted to say, mom, thanks for being rich. Hilarious. Thanks, honey. So he tells, he's like, I'd like to tell a story about mother one time. Uh, she sent me to a progressive high school in Washington, DC and me and my friends were the hooligans of the school. And they, they called their parents in one time, you know, probably for doing something awful to a woman. Let's face it.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
We'll look at my track record. And, uh, uh, my mom showed up an hour late. She, she listened for about five minutes and then she stood up and said, well, boys will be boys. See you later. I was like, wow, she has not changed one fucking bit. That's literally still her role on this show.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
so now the food comes out and um the lady's like this is delicious this is some chicken with some some uh what'd she say some salsa verde y'all enjoy that chef's like oh this is a real thing wow gosh can i have some garci verde this is nuts i doubt with protest too much for this salsa verde
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And when you were saying before how the guys, the only reason the guys have manners is because Patricia's here and God, Patricia shows up and they show all these manners. Well, this scene proves that theory wrong. Not a one of these guys closes their mouth. I mean, the gays do.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Well, keep it in your pants, Ranvi.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
The second you open up that cave, bats aren't going to stop flying out for a week, Ranvi. Just keep it closed.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
It's interesting. The last time we were here, there was you and what was that child you're dating again, Austin? And he's like, Audrey. Yeah. He goes, we had so much fun. I went home wearing half your chicken dish on my face, but it wasn't the worst night ever.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And Madison just tilts her head like, is this bitch really just talking about me?
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Pretty much. I need to be able to do whatever the fuck I want and have someone childish and desperate enough to be on TV that she'll let me do it.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
Well, sorry. Go ahead, Ben.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
No. He's like, well, you know, she's more of a drama queen than Audrey.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
So then they ask where this guy is, where Brett is.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And she has to, like, take a moment. She's like, I'm not going to bring him around here because I don't want him to spill what's going on with his health. And then, you know, these people will make it all about that, basically.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
4HERS.com slash crappins.
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#2675 Southern Charm S10E04 Part Two: The Isolation of a Pillow King
And Ryan says, Craig, is it Kroger? And they all crack up like it was just some diss. But I think Ryan was like, Craig's in fucking grocery stores. Like, what does he care what you losers think about him? That's how I took it. How'd you take it?