The Real Housewives of Potomac is all about a couple’s lagoon party, which is…new. If you were dying to know more about Karen and Ray’s sex life, now’s your chance! CONGRATS. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Sold on SLC bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible.
Especially when it's told by a full cast like that. Like, it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know?
That's major.
Crappins.
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Guess what happens when there's so much crappins. There's so much crappins.
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Bluffs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Benuni. Hi. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Good. How are you doing today on this Real Housewives of Potomac day?
I'll tell you one thing today. I'm defying gravity because I finally watched Wicked. It took me forever to get to see it because I was traveling, but I finally watched it. And of course, I loved it. And I've been singing that song. I listened to that song like ten times in a row yesterday. I was making cookies, listening to the song on the verge of tears for no good reason.
I mean, there's nothing more embarrassing than like mixing together sugar and flour and like semi crying to define gravity at the same time. And I was like, Why am I crying?
i was right there with you at the end i was like wow like i was wooing and cheering like a crazy person and they don't woo in texas okay for a movie but you just hear this dude in the back like i'm walking around to rent i'm like going up to potted plants going so if you care to find me look to the western sky i'm like my plants can't speak if they were they'd be like
We need to no longer be in a gay man's household. I know.
Tom Sandoval's girlfriend came out like, Tom Sandoval cheated on me. All this stuff, which we will talk about tonight on Crappy Hour. But I mean, everything. It's like it comes out and I'm like, I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy now. It's like singing show tunes of people. Thank you, Wicked. Well, today is Real Housewives of Potomac Day.
It's also Crappy Hour Live, which happens every other Monday at 530 Pacific Time over on YouTube Live. Just find us on YouTube. It's also where you can stream our videos a week after they're released. If you want them fresh, get them on Patreon.com slash Watch What Crappens. It's also where our bonus episodes are. Right now, they are the new Bravo show sold on SLC Recaps.
This will be our last Crappy Hour of the year. So excited. Join us, okay? It's going to be so fun. We've got lots of stuff to talk about. Also, we're going on tour. We start in January in San Francisco. It's our big opening show. We're so excited to be back in San Francisco. Go get your tickets. Also, the Golden Crappie Awards are February 1st in New York City on Broadway. Speaking of Broadway.
So we're psyched for that. Go get your tickets for that. And all of our dates are... They're not all linked yet. We're missing some links, but they are all announced over at watchwhatcrappens.com. So go buy your tickets.
We're supposed to get some ticket links this week for some of the cities. So we'll, of course, announce that from the mountaintops when that happens. So just stay tuned.
Yes. Okay. Welcome to the Real Housewives of Potomac, buddy. It's the Blue Lagoon. The Lagoon episode.
The Love Lagoon. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah, very exciting. So the episode opens up with Mia, Jeremiah, and Juju. They are at an obstacle course. It's kind of like an indoors ropes course, and they are tangling with various contraptions and rope bridges. It's kind of like a low stakes squid games, like squid games if you don't die, which I guess is just any ropes course, but that's what they're doing. Yeah.
It looked very easy to me. I mean, they were walking. It was for kids, so they were walking across, like, bridges. It wasn't just a rope, you know? But Mia's like, I don't know. I also like that Mia wore a... kind of like workout leotard thing that just carefully featured her tramp stamp. Like she really bought one that really just showcases that one spot on her lower back.
I was like, you know, there is nothing like just really featuring that tramp stamp on a kid's day, like kids day out.
Yeah. She, this was all for bonding, you know? And she says, the children obviously know what's going on between me and Gordon and our divorce or separation. But I also want them to know that their voice was heard and their opinions matter. I'm like, except they weren't because last week the kids were like, don't marry Mr. Ink, stay with daddy.
And why do we have so many apple crates in this household? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, she didn't listen to shit. So Jeremiah's my favorite because he's like, well, you know what? If you fall, we'll survive, but you're probably going to be in a coma. She's like, what? He's like, yeah, but at least we'll all be in a coma together. Like, at least now we're not just waiting for dad to fall into one.
He's like, the fam will be inside the hospital. He's like, oh, God. He's like, this kid's going to keep his family together no matter what.
I love that poor Jeremiah is just like growing up with Gordon as a dad. He's like been preparing for a parent to be in a coma for years now. He's just like seen it as an inevitability.
So dark. Sorry. They're just doing it.
I was like, he's thought a lot about comas, this kid.
Well, maybe he's seen a lot of soap operas. That's a common trope.
He lives in one. He lives with these two people.
I never said I was the best mother in the world, but give me some credit for trying, okay?
So she's like, yeah. So Jeremiah's like, well, I can tell you're never going to do this again, but once you find out you're alive when you get to the end, then maybe you'll do it again if you really are alive and you didn't slip into a coma and are just dreaming in a world where you think you're alive. Can you hear me? Daddy, walk towards me. Don't go towards the light.
Oh my God, please. I feel like this is also what Mia told herself the first time she had sex with Gordon. Like, well, I'll probably never do this again. But if I get through it, maybe I will.
So they do this. Then we go over.
She makes it through.
So she made it. Yay. So then we go to lunch with Stacy, Giselle, Karen, eating at our favorite place, the Fig and Olive.
Fig and Olive. Yeah, I hadn't thought about Fig and Olive. I'm so glad that you highlighted that. I was like, oh, they're going to Fig and Olive. I remember one time I went to Fig and Olive here in Los Angeles. I got invited to it and I sat at a table with Rennie from Big Brother. It was like an opening party.
So we're like Lionel Richie was there and like I was sitting with like Rennie and then some other random reality star and Rennie got drunk. You would have loved hanging out with Rennie because she was drunk and she would just say doll every five seconds. Like, pass me the bread, doll. All right.
Yeah, they say.
No, I was great on Big Brother. They're going to give me another TV show. It's a wonderful moment for me. Anyway, we are here at Fig and Olive. And Stacey tells us, when I joined this group, Karen said that this was about sisterhood. And I feel like Giselle has this outer shell to protect her from people. But inside, she's soft and cuddly. And we're going to be besties. I was like...
Um, she does have a shell on the outside to protect her from people because on the inside are spikes. She's protecting people from her.
Yeah, she's not protecting people. She's wearing one of those really like five feet tall things that cops use to go into crowds and just beat everybody down. What are they called? Like baton boards?
You know what I'm talking about?
Like the life-sized shields that when they go into riots, they like start stamping their shields and then they knock people down and stuff. That's what she's covered in. It's offensive. It's not to protect herself. It's to hurt others, okay?
jeez so karen's like says hello and everything she's like how have you been she goes oh i am good thank you i've just been chasing after bella she is swimming and winning every race and uh we see that arabella is swimming she's like swim meets and everything and she's just like a killer butterfly and breaststroke and freestyle demon
So they order food, and Karen orders a burrata, and so does she. And then the waiter's like, oh, do you guys want two burratas, or do you want to share? And Karen goes, hmm. I think Stacy should share my burrata. Hmm. And she's like, oh, my God, Karen. Thank you. Thank you so much.
I have been invited to share a burrata with Karen Huger. This is a huge moment and verifies this idea that this is a sisterhood, a sisterhood of the traveling burrata.
So Karen's just so proud of herself. Like, look at me doing good deeds just to prove I don't only drive drunk. I also do things for people that need soft cheese that doesn't taste like much.
What is this strange line that's in the middle of the burrata? Oh, that's my tire mark. I may have driven over it by accident, but you know, it was a tough time for me. Very tough time.
It's actually not a burrata at all. I hit Michael in the parking lot and just served him all the things.
It's just some of his pale whiteness.
Floppy-ass Michael makes his return as a burrata.
I severed some of his whiteness.
So they make small talk about TJ and all that. And she's like, oh, TJ's doing so great. He'll be coming back from L.A. for the Love Lagoon. And we see him working in LA. She's like, he's on ER today. And he's like, hey, I'm on ER today. Or whatever it is. Not ER. Grey's Anatomy. That show is still on?
It is.
Has it been 20 years?
How long has that show been on? I don't know, but that's a lot of singer-songwriter music they've foisted on this world. That's a lot. Like, every time on that show, it's like, we're about to lose a patient, then all of a sudden you hear, like, a guitar... My aphid broke.
My aphid broke.
Sarah McLachlan singing about a fibs.
All right.
So just, I was like, what are we doing at this party, Karen? Why is it called the love Laguna? And, um, We see the invite. Karen and Ray's Love Lagoon. You and your special someone are invited to join us for some fun in the sun and also 20 minutes of editors getting to play this music.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
I saved up all their sexy music. I hate love parties. I'm sorry. Listen, I love this season. I think this season's a total rebound for me. I've been enjoying every episode. But a thing that I don't like on The Real Housewives is when the couples all get together and play games where they talk about how much sex they are having and what they do in the bedroom. It's not that I'm a prude.
I just don't find it interesting. It doesn't move the needle on any storyline. To me, this is like, okay, everyone, we're going to give the producers a day off. Let's just do something simple and we can put some graphics on screen. I'm not coming from a place of hating.
I'm just saying in general, when we talk about certain tropes that we don't like, vaginal rejuvenation, cryo, whatever, which we haven't seen in a while, never have I ever. Throwing the axes. Yeah.
yeah it's like when the couples get together and answer questions or they hold up signs like i didn't like it on salt lake city either um but luckily with salt lake city it was very quick and it led to drama very quickly but like when there's like 15 minutes of it Just not my favorite thing.
So I'm already kind of like... Well, it's especially funny with Karen because you know Ray and Karen aren't fucking. Like, that's pretty clear. I mean, come on. And Karen's been cheating for years and everybody knows it. There have been rumors for years. So the fact that Karen's like, let's get together and talk about our sex lives is just... OK, just have just call it my vagina still works party.
We'll all buy you a candle and just be done with it. You know, why do I have to sit through it? I don't care if your vagina works. I literally do not care. I don't care. You want to hear about me and my fupa and our journey? Nobody wants to hear it. And I guarantee you, if I started going off about it on this show, we would immediately lose hundreds of viewers and listeners.
Nobody wants to hear it. And I don't blame you. I don't even like to see it. OK, I get mad. I mean, coming out of the shower.
People may want to hear about the FUBA. I also have never seen or I don't know if this is something that happens in real life. Maybe people can tell me, but is this something that couples do? Like you go to someone's house and then you all answer like couples jokes about like... Like, what's your favorite position? And like, are you dominant? Are you submissive?
I just have never, I've never been invited to a night like that. And I don't think I'd want to go either because I don't think it's anyone's business, but also it's just like, I just don't think it's interesting to me. But then again, I'm also someone who loves playing board games and people look at me like I've got five heads when I talk about my board game collection.
So I guess every, every pot has a lid.
Yeah. And a fupa. But, you know, nobody wants to hear about the fupa part. Every fupa has a belt. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, I love having sex. I just don't want to. And I don't even mind talking about sex. I just don't want to hear about yours. That's my thing.
Yeah.
I'm approved. I'm not approved for myself. I'm approved for everyone else in the world, okay? Yeah. So Karen's like, well, my love theme party is meant to talk about love, sex, happiness, sadness, joy, pleasure. Not pleasure. Running, walking, tiles, wood, water, soda, bricks, concrete, clay. Wow, you're doing great.
We're all glad you're back, Karen. We're all glad you're back with your love lagoon, okay? Yes, exactly. Love lagoon. And Karen's like, there'll be libations. You'll have a full bar. I mean, not full bar, but because I don't want anyone getting lit, but you'll have a bar. And Giselle's like, I want to get lit-y-a-a. And Cameron's like, no, why?
Okay, well, you can get lit if you want to, but I shall not be getting lit because I'm going to so much. That's where I crashed into a median because it was too much for me. What Ray did that caused me to crash into the grass, the road, the clay and the rocks and the Monopoly board games and such.
So Stacey's like, oh, my God, I hope there's games because I'm so competitive. We're going to win so many games. And so Giselle immediately just starts giving her the third degree about this guy. Does he work here? What does he do? How big is it? When are you going to have sex with him? Why aren't you having sex with him? So they both tell her, like, drop this guy. He's a loser. Go get dicks.
Lots and lots of dicks, you know? And Karen's like, what do you like? She goes, well, I do what I like. Well, what is that? Well, I really like TJ.
And I go, oh, Jesus. Hopeless. Just I was like, well, we want you to have more penises. Penises. Or is it called peni? Peni. And Stacey's like, oh, my God, Giselle, stop it. And they're asking, like, how long have you known TJ? And Stacey says she's known him for about a year. And Kara's like, well, girl, nobody knows nobody in one year.
Yeah, they're just not buying this whole, like, well, I'm a virgin. And, you know, we're being virginal. And she's like, well, you've known each other for a year. Nobody knows each other in a year. I mean, don't be looking for your connection in the church because those men are looking for a connection, too, for a woman. You know what I'm saying? They go to church on a Sunday.
I guess she's telling her, go to church. Keep going to church, but keep looking for men, you know? Yeah, because, yeah. Sorry, go ahead. Giselle's like, my husband found plenty of ass in church. He's still doing it. And he's the leader of it.
Exactly. So Giselle's like, well, if he ain't getting it from you, he's getting it from someone. I'm just here to tell you that. And Stacey goes, why would you say that? He is an actor on Grey's Anatomy. He has a very important role where he says... There's a phone call for you on line three. That's pivotal. Of course, he's not going to be cheating.
He takes his role and his sex life very seriously.
One person in a place that is not going to cheat is an actor in Los Angeles, California.
Would never happen. Just because he's across the country where no one knows where he is or who he is, and just because he's in the entertainment industry where there are famously non-attractive people in it, it doesn't mean that he's going to cheat.
So Karen's like, oh, he's got a whole life in L.A. I'm just saying. I'm sipping now. Hold on. Let me just process that. And then Giselle's like, we can leave her alone now. So then Stacey's like, why are you guys looking at your watches all of a sudden? They came to virgin shame you, and now they're out of here, you know?
Yeah. Karen goes, well, it's time to go, because you're a lost cause. So... It's like talking to a wall.
You're not getting dick on purpose. I'm going to go back to not getting dick on accident and go see my husband.
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So now there, Wendy goes to a place called curated by Cecilia, which by the way, whatever happened to her, I just suddenly blanked on her name or sweet, sweet Vivian. What happened to Vivian? Vivian has boutique. Suddenly we're not shopping at Vivian's boutique anymore. We're going to curated by Cecilia. I don't know who the Cecilia bitch is. Get me Vivian. Okay.
Yeah, I thought Vivian was like super excited to be a friend of and they were like, oh my God, look who we got.
We nailed Vivian. We finally got Vivian. We booked her, everybody. It was like, oh my God, you got Vivian? We got Vivian on the show.
Vivian took like two episodes and she was like, I'm not doing this anymore. She's like, no. These people are nuts.
She's like, I've got a chic little haircut and I'm not going to waste it on these idiots. Totally. So women start showing up to this boutique. I guess they're getting free clothes, which is why the entire cast shows up. And basically no one knows.
It's a Wendy party. So people are like, why are we doing this? Does anybody know why Wendy has brought us here today? And guess what it is. Hi, everybody. Remember last week when it was my 40th birthday? I'm like, are you fucking kidding me with this? We had another party to announce that it was your 40th birthday.
I know. So, yeah, so people are showing up. Because she tells everyone, she's like, come to this shop on Thursday. There's big news. And Giselle texts back, another birthday party. So they're gathering. Mia is wearing her new blonde look. And so Wendy's like, all right, Mia Targaryen. So, Ashley, they're just all gathering and they're just sort of chatting back and forth.
And I'm a little lost in their banter. I can't tell what's a flashback and what's not a flashback.
They're just talking about the love again. And Ashley tells them she's dating Beavis. And Jacqueline comes and then she's like, oh, we haven't seen Jacqueline for a while, right? And Jacqueline's like, well, I know I was not invited to a lot of y'all's events, but okay, who cares? I mean, I know you wouldn't want to invite the most popular person here, but whatever, I'm not insecure about it.
Does anybody have a camera? You should put this on Instagram. Tag me.
Number one friend to Mia. So now Wendy addresses everyone. I think this is actually what you were saying before. I may have gone backwards, but Wendy is like, Hello, ladies.
No, I jumped forward. So I was like, this party should be over now. Let's just jump to Wendy at the end of the episode. And then the credits rolled. Just kidding.
That was the end. I think you had the right instinct because literally I backtracked just that way I could then announce on the podcast that I was lost in the notes that I could have just gone forward from. No, it was my fault. I did it. Guys, we're so sorry to each other. It was fine. Sorry. I'm sorry. So Wendy's like, hello, ladies.
It was worth it. It was worth every lie I told. I'm sorry for shit.
This podcast is about sisterhood. So as you know, I have recently entered a new chapter in my life, chapter 40. And everyone here has something going on in their life. So I was thinking that we could do a liberation celebration in Panama. And everyone's like, what?
but secretly they're all like panama they're like panama panama everybody's like is that a thing isn't their canal clogged i'm gonna go there listen i'm sure panama is wonderful but it's just i'm sure it's beautiful i don't think anyone was expecting panama you just don't hear that you just don't hear that much on past lives guess where we're going ladies panama
Are we hiding something? What are we? Are we hiding some cash? Like, what do we do? Are we there to buy some Tommy Bahama hats? Like, what else is there?
Then they start interviewing people. We used to get interviews with people's reactions.
And Ashley's like, I'm very excited to go to Panama. I mean, the Panama Canal. Hello. I get to see it in person.
I was like, was that on your bucket list to see the Panama Canal?
I really want to see a lot of Amazon shipments trying to get through.
Are you talking about Amazon or do you think the Amazon is in Panama? Because it's not.
She is... Their reactions were all pretty funny. Kieran is like, well, Panama's not really my style. I like big Europe cities. Oh, okay. Do you? Okay. I like big Europe cities. Sorry. Sorry, Panama.
Only big Europe cities for me. But you know, they probably all were thinking that, right? Because you know, Karen is like, I like somehow, for no good reason, I wound up with a champagne flute. I became a real housewife. I'm only on about five, like one scene per episode. And I don't seem to interact with other people. I don't seem to have a lot of scenes with other people.
But like, I'm finally on this show. And I get my first cast trip is a Panama. I wanted to go to Paris. I would be bummed too.
Yeah. So now they start talking about the Love Lagoon. And Mia's like, well, I thought about inviting Jacqueline. She's my lesbian lover. Because Jacqueline's not invited. And so she's asking people's opinions. And they're like, Karen's going to kill you. Woody's like, Karen's going to be mad as hell. Have fun. Have fun with that. So she goes up to Karen. She's like...
Karen, I have a question for you. Do not try and get me to blow into another straw, Mia. It's not funny.
Mia's like, well, I know that your invite says bring a special someone. And I know that you asked me to bring Gordon, but he can't make it.
And then can't make it either. Oh, yes, because you have to be a certain height in order to get on the plane.
No. And that's not a thing anyone can get on a plane. But anyway, I wanted to know if maybe I could bring... No. No. I'm just going to say no right now. No.
Karen already knows. No, Jacqueline.
But also, Mia is saying the reason that Ink can't come is because he's getting honored with an award. Oh, okay. Okay. Why are people getting awards literally every week on this show? What is going on? It's just desperate for fucking events to charge people $100 a dinner.
What's going on over there? How could Wendy plan this cash trip at the same time as the Pulitzers? I mean, that is just so wild.
So Karen's like, don't do this to me. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Now listen, I'm pouring into Karen. Then I'm drinking out of Karen. I'm somehow falling down in the street, which I don't really understand why that happened. I'm not drinking, so. I just admitted to drinking, didn't I? I demand a recount. Objection.
Stop pouring into yourself, Karen, is what got you into this mess in the first place.
I know I was waiting for the no pun intended, but it never came.
She's like, I am doing unbelievable things to be incredible. I like to say I am DUI-ing. And right now, I don't have time for Jacqueline.
Now, listen, my home is my peace. My peace is my home. My home is my peace. So let me pour in the B. And she's like, Mia asking me if Jacqueline can come to my house after the horrible things that Jacqueline said about me. And then we see flashbacks of just her saying not that much, just that she'd called her drunk, which, I mean, I wouldn't have liked that either. But Mia has said way worse.
And she gets to go. Yeah.
Mia this season was like, well, Karen had an opioid addiction and she's going to be, has to go to rehab because she also went to the, she also went to a foreign country and slaughtered five people and also killed the last rhinoceros in Angola.
I'm sorry, that was me with the opioid addiction. The rhino and the murdering of people was true. That was all true.
People blamed that dentist for Cecil the Lion. It was Karen. I have to say it. I have to say it.
So then Mia's like, well, are you okay?
Like, I'm so lonely.
And she's like, absolutely, Mia, of course. So then Karen's like, they better not try me. So then Mia's telling Jacqueline, Okay, Jacqueline, I did ask Karen right over there. I don't know if you heard anything. It was a shoulder, you know, one shoulder away from you. And I said, can Mia come? Because Mia's so nice. And I promise you she's dressing better now that I helped her.
Today's not a good example. But can she come? And she said, no, no.
That's right, I said no, because I'm pouring into myself.
So Mia's like, it's her home, and she doesn't want any negative energy in her home, you know, aside from the fact that she's inviting the entire cast, which will be full of inevitably terrible energy. Anyway, sorry, you're left out.
So, of course, Jacqueline's like, welcome. I mean, who cares? I don't want to go. Why would I want to go to what? Panama? Where even is that? And you know what? I'm good. And I don't feel wrong in any way, in any fashion. So I'm not going to extend any olive branch towards Karen. So there. So there, everybody. You're just going to have to deal with it. I refuse to go to Panama. There, I said it.
I will not go.
And I wouldn't go anyway because I scheduled a block of time at Color Me Mine. I will be painting clay. And so I think I kind of am the winner in this situation. And so then Stacey goes, by the way, store owner, someone said that I asked for a thong. Should I get a thong? And then people are just talking about going to Panama and everything. And Jacqueline's asking about like,
Does Wendy have any happy Eddie for the trip, et cetera? I don't know. Maybe you should check the rules about if you're allowed to bring happy Eddie into the country before you ask for it. Just as a safety measure, by the way.
Yeah. Well, no, I think they're talking about the Lagoon party first because Eddie's going to come and bring, I think. So then, oh, no, you're right. Because Wendy's like, no, no. But he did say he's going to bring something for the love lagoon. So then we go to another Kiarna scene. You know, listen, I can understand the wanting to film Kiarna.
I cannot understand them keeping this shit in the show. Because it's really like, what are you guys doing?
Why do they insist that every scene with her is like behind her kitchen counter? Like this is like the rebirth of Cynthia when she remember that one season where every scene was at her kitchen island. Kieran is always standing. It's always they stand at the one kitchen and then they go into Greg's office every single time. I kind of feel like they filmed all these scenes after the fact.
And they're like, OK, we got to do a whole bunch of Kieran pickups. So have a whole bunch of looks in your bedroom and we're going to shoot them all in your kitchen.
well we find out in this that he does not want to be on tv and he's pissed off about it so that's probably why he's probably like here's where you can shoot that's it you know here's my garage have fun yeah so um kiana's there and her hot brother brian by the way what a good-looking family kiana is like drop dead her brother's hot like god bless good genetics you two are killing it i mean you may have who knows about your personalities but looks are the only thing that really matter in this world right
so um they are hanging out and greg is like cheers to panama and karen's like thanks so like um this should be like a fun fun this time around and like i didn't really know what to expect and i don't know why i just assumed it's just like i just thought it was like a little place outside of florida because she thought it was panama city florida in the panhandle no wonder she wanted to go to a europe city
Southern hospitality. No, you're getting out of the country.
So Greg's like, no, no, that's a different Panama. It's Panama city. So are you going to the country or are you going to the city? She's like, I think the country, I mean, they said South America. So that's the country. And the theme is liberation. So we've got three divorces. We've got Giselle being an empty nester. We've got Wendy turning a new chapter being 40. And he's like,
uh three divorces is that because it's not because of the show right is that's a lot going on that's a lot and uh then it's really awkward where she just stares at him like you motherfucker you're doing this to me again because you know after every time they shoot she's like you are embarrassing me and talking down to me on television and if you fucking do it again he's like i won't i won't then he does it again like within five minutes and she just looks at him like i'm going to kill you
She's like, I'm like a 10 and you're Greg. So how about you stop giving me this guff right now? But it was also kind of surprising because kind of an unspoken thing, every now and then it does get brought up on a reunion is how this show precipitates a lot of divorces. You know, fame gets in the way or like whatever you have to do to be on these shows.
It like is like a poison and it just kills all these relationships time and time again. And so for him to kind of voice that, And for them to air that, to acknowledge that, I thought that was actually a pretty significant moment in the history of The Real Housewives.
It was brave.
It was pure bravery is what it was. It was brave. That's what I thought. You know what? Greg was pouring into himself at that moment.
The show is. Bravo's like, you know what, guys? Guess what we're doing this season on Potomac?
Bravery. Get in here, everybody.
So now she makes them do the packing scene with her. So they go to do the packing and these guys could not be more bored. You know, she's like, should I take the Gucci or should I take the Louis? And you know, his mother's at home like, well, I wonder who bought that Louis. I'm going to check the records.
and greg is greg so the brother is like in brian he's like hey greg how are you doing you're settling in and greg's like well it's a transition i have to see female stuff and brian's like oh so she's cooking she's feeding you he's like yeah i got turkey legs in the fridge right now I'm like, sir, yeah, you have turkey legs in the fridge right now. So let your wife go on vacation. Not even let.
She can go on vacation if she wants to. But stop giving her attitude when she's giving you turkey legs in your fridge.
Yeah. So then we go over to Stacy with her Aunt Dora. Oh.
Hi.
And even Aunt Dora is trolling her about not getting any dick, which is really funny.
She's like, Aunt Dora, it's so great to see you. You can put your backpack down now. And please, your little cat friend is so adorable. What places have you been traveling to across the world? She's like, I'm not the cartoon. So she's like, Dora is my father's youngest sister. She's not that much older than me. So our friendship was more sisterly than aunt and niece.
It's almost like we have a sisterhood. Oh, my God. Everywhere, sisterhood. So I don't even call her Auntie Dora. I just call her Dora because she's like my sister. She's my everything.
I love her. So then Dora's like, oh, you know, this divorce needs to end. It's just going on and on. She goes, and it's a year. It's a long time not to get men now. I don't know if I can last that long. I was like, yes, Dora. I love Dora. I love a spicy auntie.
stacy's like oh my god excuse me the tea is so hot in this sisterhood right now dora goes well how is so how is that going have you met somebody are you dipping your toes in the water because well i have met someone a very good friend of mine he is a famous actor who has one line on gray's anatomy in about three months so keep an eye out for that one right there
Oh, my gosh. Yeah. She's like, is it that hottie from QVC? Tell me it's a motherfucker. It's so fucking hot. Fuck that guy. And Dora. My God, Mrs. T. And Dora's like, tell me that, man. Tell me that, man. I've imagined ripping his shirt off, pulling it over his head after I ripped it off, strangling with it a little bit until he climaxes all the.
And Dora. And Dora, the table is shaking. You've got to calm yourself down. No, I won't calm myself down until I motorboat his man boobs because they are made of iron.
I've never seen more Grey's Anatomy than I have when I've watched that five seconds of him showing up over and over and over.
Oh, my God. And Dora, you're climaxing at the table.
I'll have what she's having.
Quiet, Rob Reiner's mother.
So... No one's talking to you, meathead.
And Dora!
oh, there's actual Rob Reiner. So Stacey. Rob Reiner.
Rob Reiner was like, I'm so mad at Republicans. Oh, eat your pancakes, Rob.
Please, please, please. You're fucking Michelle Lawley, okay? You should be happy.
So she's like, well, you know, we're just saving ourselves. And she goes, oh, God. You know, you're doing the right thing. I am, Aunt Dora? She's like, yes, that's what Jesus wants us to do. So congratulations. I'm going to have to fucking watch some Pornhub when I get home. I'm getting nothing from you. So you're buying this lunch.
Well, I think that if TJ and I were sleeping together, I would just... I would lose myself. And Dora goes, I can understand that. You know, if TJ and I were sleeping together, I would be more me than I've ever been in 30 years. Anyway, TJ, God, I love the rage behind his eyes. It's just a real turn on for me.
So then we go to Giselle, Giselle's date with Namsa at Hoja. And they greet each other and start getting settled in and all that stuff. And Giselle's asking him if he likes to salsa. And he's like, well, actually, I used to live in Miami. So I took some salsa lessons, huh? I can't wait to show you a little salsa.
Oh, my God. I can't wait for you to show. Andy. Wait, what's her name? Aunt Dora, get out of this scene. Aunt Dora.
So the bar that they're in is some sort of salsa bar. It looks like a normal, I shouldn't say normal, but it just looks like a regular non-dance themed bar. But there's like this one couple that is very aware that there's a camera there because they keep salsa dancing in direct eyeline of the camera. And so this entire scene is happening. And there's this one guy who's like...
And I'm like, no one else in this restaurant or this bar is dancing. What are you doing? Later on in the scene, people start to dance, but they're the only ones and everyone's sitting at like high tops drinking beers. And these people are going so above and beyond with their salsa dancing to be on TV. It was driving me mad.
Yeah, the thirsty regular people, the normals.
Thirsty salsas. Well, you know, okay. here's the, you know, what's the most annoying is that one couple that takes a dance class and then has to do the dance class everywhere they go. And that's what these people are. They clearly took a salsa class and then they're like, okay, we're going to do the salsa dance at this restaurant. And there's a camera there.
It's like, then they go to a, it's like the people who take one dance class and then they go to like a wedding and then they like do like
over the top dancing yeah and then people circle around them and clap and but you're like show-offs you know yeah no I'm actually never like that I'm usually so grateful because I don't have to dance you know the more that the more people there are like that in the world the less that my family is like Ronnie why aren't you dancing you know why I'm not dancing fuck you all asking me
What an idiot I look like when I dance. That's why I'm not dancing. Okay. It's embarrassing. Last time I danced at a wedding, someone prayed tongues over me. Literally.
Here comes one right now.
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I feel like you dancing at a wedding is like you doing like singing in the rain. I just feel like you'd be hanging off of like, like you would actually pull in a light pole somehow. You'd be like, all right, everyone. And a light pole would just glide in and you'd be like, I would tap dance a lot.
Can I tap dance? I could do that. No, I got in trouble for doing a risky business dance because that song came on. I've told you this before. But for those of you who knew, this risky business song came on at a really religious wedding. And I came out in my boxers. I was like, it's just boxers. I mean, they do it on TV all the time. And I slid across the floor and people were laughing.
And I got in so much trouble. And one of the my grandpa ended up we found out he had a stroke. So we all had to leave. My whole family starts leaving. And then this lady pushes me up against the wall with her husband and put her hands on my head and started praying over me in tongues. She was like, please, Lord, save this man, this deviant, this deviant soul.
He doesn't know what he's doing and literally kept me. My dad was never so mad because we were missing the stroke while I was getting tongue sprayed. And I couldn't be like, fuck off, lady. Because I just made this huge infraction at a religious wedding. So I'm never dancing again at a wedding is the point. You just love that old time rock and roll. What can you say? God, not even anymore.
I'm traumatized every time I see Tom Cruise. I'm like, no one's prayed tongues over his ass.
Well, a lot of us are traumatized when we see Tom Cruise, but that's a whole other story. That's true. I saw a trailer for the latest Mission Impossible, and I'm like, wow. Wow. I think I want to see it, though. I want to see it.
Well, just like his running. It's the running that he does.
He's always running like that.
Like Shannon Bedore in the tap dancing scene in Real Housewives of Orange County where he runs like this all the time. He just runs so aggressively.
I'm like, dude, like get a scooter.
He's an aggressive.
Yeah.
But also he's not just saving. He's not just saving a country this time. He's saving the entire world.
Some sort of submarine under an ice shelf and, you know, typical bullshit. Those trailers, not great. In general, terrible trailers before this wicked episode. So, anyway, we're here on this date. Giselle is with Namza. And he's talking about taking salsa lessons. And Giselle is talking about how she met him at speed dating. And, you know, he said, let's go dancing.
And she was like, okay, we can do this. So, then she's joking about how she's not a good dancer, which then...
begets a sequence of her dancing which is accurate she's not a good dancer well here's one thing i'll say for giselle she's a terrible dancer and here's another thing this is the first time i've seen any kind of chemistry with her and somebody on i mean it's giselle so i'm assuming this is just a fake storyline to promote their dating show that they're going to be doing
But whatever it is, they found someone hot enough that she's actually feeling it. She's like, wow, this guy's actually hot. I've always felt like she's faking it. But this time I at least got some like she's alive kind of a feeling.
I actually agree. I thought there was chemistry. I feel like it's not that he's hot enough. He's in the proper hot range, which is that he is hot enough to be hot, but not too hot to have no personality. Because Jason last year is like smoke show hot, but there was no chemistry because all he is is hot, right?
Although I actually like Jason, but we could see there was no chemistry between the two of them. But here, this guy is hot enough to be like... Okay, get the tingles going, but not so hot that he has to rely solely on hotness to get by in life. He had to develop some personality.
Yeah, well, we'll see what happens with those crazy kids. Now let's go over to Karen's Love Lagoon party.
Karen's Love Lagoon party. Let's go over to there. Don't touch the mermaid, Ray!
hilarious because ray is like there's mermaids in the pool there's ladies with tails get your hands off the mermaids ray this is the 90s yeah he's like putting one in his trunk i saw it in a movie that's you can't do that in real life ray all right it's not daryl hannah you'll go to prison it's called trafficking ray
Yeah, because they get in the water. The mermaids go hopping into the pool.
And Cameron goes, there she goes! There goes the mermaid! Yay!
And Ray goes, yay! What do you mean, yay?
No, I'm just touching the temperature of the water. She goes, stop that. Don't touch the water that has mermaids in it, Ray!
He's like, I'm not going to hurt the mermaid.
I love that Ray is being accused yet again of hurting a mermaid. It's like this has happened to Ray before.
He's like, I told you I'm not going to hurt the mermaid. Why is everybody always accusing me of hurting the mermaids?
So Giselle and Ashley are riding in a car with their speed date people, which is Josh and Namza. And they're warning, they're giving like the heads up. So Giselle's like, all right. So Karen is the elder statesman of our group. And Ashley goes, yeah, she's the season one. And yes, and then her husband is Ray, and he is very seasoned. Very, very seasoned.
He's beef jerky covered in adobo. The man is dry you out.
He is like a mole. A lot of ingredients and seasonings.
So they're nervous because they're taking these dudes. Basically, it's like a second date, and they're going to a couple's party where they have to have games and stuff. And Giselle's like, don't worry. I'm not going to let them bother you. And then we see the love boat. We see this love boat montage of wacky things.
Okay, so they're making these blue drinks with dry ice in them and martini glasses, and the martinis are just frothing over. So they start playing this sexy music and then showing these martinis literally every two minutes for the next. It's so funny. I don't know if they just didn't get enough footage that day, but then they're like, okay, another couple's coming in.
Foaming martinis, foaming martini.
We get it. The grand dom teeny. Um, also by the way, you know, I feel like we never really give any love. We usually are pretty good about giving love to recurring side characters. I want to give some love to Robin. That's, um, that's Karen's like event planner slash publicist, like helper. Robin always shows up with a big, big old long wig. And she's like, okay, I'm going to help you out.
I'm going to help you. We got some grand damn teenies. And she didn't really do anything this episode, but I just want to give a shout out that like Robin, I see you and you're doing great work over there. I love your wig.
You're doing fantastic. Fantastic stuff. So everybody starts coming in and Mia shows up alone. And Stacey's like, it takes a confident woman to show up at a couples event alone. It's like, well, actually, I'm happy coming to a couples. Why am I talking like Meredith? Actually, I'm very happy coming to a couples event solo dolo.
Also, she's invited Jacqueline to make a surprise appearance later, so she's not really solo. And then Jassy shows up. We have a return of Jassy, which makes me happy because I really enjoy Jassy because Jassy is so ridiculous. And she's like, hi, here's a bottle of wine from my family's vineyard. It's a 23-year-old bottle. It doesn't have any wine in it, but it's a bottle I found, so enjoy.
You can put it on your shelf.
Wow, that bottle's young enough for your husband to impregnate while you're dating. Yeah. Your boyfriend, rather. She's not married to him, right? No.
No, they're not.
No, they're not married. So Karen's like, you, you are the best gift giver. And Wendy looks around at the decorations and she's like, I'm not going to say I spy on the girls, but baby. And then we see a clip of Wendy's birthday, which had white flowers. So there's some white things at this party. So this must be a copy. Girl, this is nothing like your party. I don't know what you're talking about.
You did not invite flowers and a table runner. That's standard decor.
This has blue martinis, so pay attention, please.
Lisa Vanderpump, and you could even say Taylor Armstrong with her Manhattan tea party back in 2010. But you did not invent it, Wendy.
No, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am. So then Eddie brings, you know, his stuff. And happy Eddie stuff to pass around to everybody. And they're like, so, Ray, you have a pool? How often do you go in the pool? He's like, if the mermaids are in there, I'll go every day. Ray, I didn't touch a mermaid.
Okay, Ray. God. Then Karen starts talking about Nam, Namsa. And she's like, I like him. I just think he won't last a moment with Giselle. He's too nice. Okay. You know, and Josh, Josh is gorgeous, but he looks like he's on a milk carton, a baby on the milk carton. Just, just gorgeous. Like he's got the carnation milk on his breath or something.
And he really does look like this, by the way.
I still feel like he looks like Lance Bass with a poof on his head. I'm going to stand by that.
Well, once you said that he's like, you can smell the formula on his breath or whatever. I was like, oh, my God, he is a baby. He's a baby with Beavis hair.
Yeah, he is a baby. Yeah. So then Wendy's like, oh, my God, is that Jack Hollow? Where did this middle school Jack Hollow come from? This is a lateral move. Okay. Which seems like it actually is true. So this was not a lateral move.
How is this a lateral move from Michael?
Maybe we'll talk about it on Crappy Hour tonight, actually.
This is scaling a mountain.
Old Queen of the Bar chimed in about this person, and I will share what they said on Crappy Hour tonight.
Oh, okay. Yeah. So then they'd make some small talk, whatever. Should we just get to the game, or was there something important happening?
Wait, no. What about the part when they said, oh, my God, hi. Just kidding. No, let's get to the end.
They're like, hi, mermaids. Okay, let's go to the game. So they play a game. Wait, I do have something to say.
I just have something stupid to say, but it bothered me. It's clearly hot out, and they're all sitting in the shade. And I felt bad for Josh because Ashley, like, insisted that she would sit on Josh's lap. And I was like... If I were Josh, not that I'd be annoyed, but it's like it's hot out. And then you have a human sitting on your lap and you're on camera for the first group thing.
You know, you're going to sweat. I was like, I felt going to have some sweaty balls. Yeah.
You know, he's gonna be sweating soon. So, well, as long as she's not, because then you're getting someone else's butt sweat on you. You know, that would not be good. Yeah. So, but they're new, you know, that's what you do when you're new. You're like sitting on and also we're gay. So we don't get to do that stuff at parties really.
I mean, unless we're at a gay party, but usually I don't think even we do that there, but yeah, we're not used to being able to sit on each other's laps in public like this. So it's like, well, that's just so weird when you see somebody else like, Oh, do they get to do it?
It was took us to a dark place. We have to pour into ourselves, Ronnie. So yeah, the game, the game is afoot.
Okay, so the first question is who's cheated on each other? What kind of game is this?
What kind of game is this? She acts like she pulled that question out randomly.
She's like, oh, and everyone, I'm going to pull the first question. Oh, my God. What are the odds that I pulled out this question first? Who's cheated?
So now they're going to go around the horn. And it's like the question is like, I think it's newlywed, right?
So they ask for each other. So like Wendy has to say if she thinks Eddie's cheated and vice versa.
it's not even newlywed game. It's just like, answer the question. All they're doing is answering the question. So they're going around. Well, last year they at least had the whiteboards, but this year they're like, no, unfortunately we left them whiteboards on the traffic median. And well, we know what happened over there. So yeah.
Round them over.
So they're just asking, like, like, have you ever felt like your partner has cheated? And so Karen's like, well, I don't feel like you've ever cheated one day, baby, except with those mermaids.
But that doesn't count as cheating if you're sleeping with a merfolk fictional character. I don't think so. So, yes, I don't think you ever cheated.
Also, because if you had cheated, I probably would have seen the mermaid again at some point. I didn't do anything to the mermaid. All right, Ray, calm down. So he's like, you are correct. I never cheated.
And she's like, oh, hallelujah, everybody. Hallelujah.
And Giselle goes, what was he going to say? Wendy goes, yeah, what's he going to say? I cheated in 1986.
And Ray goes, and I also do not feel like my partner has ever cheated. And Giselle's like, did you see the smile on her face? Like, you're acting like you haven't cheated on Raymond. No, ma'am. No, ma'am. No, ma'am.
We see flashbacks to all the cheating accusations of just them being like, wait a minute. Why are you acting like you... you weren't fucking blue eyes, the driver. And then we just cut to Karen at the reunion being like, just sucking on those dentures. Like guilty as hell. You know, Karen is guilty when she starts taking all the cilantro out of her teeth with her lips. Yeah.
uh so um then they're asking stacy and stacy is like well despite what giselle has said in the past giselle and karen the other day at lunch said they feel like when you're in la you're doing your own thing tj like you have a whole other separate life and then giselle's like yeah but i thought you guys weren't a couple you know and uh and she's like like you're not a couple so this doesn't even apply it doesn't even matter you're not a couple
So TJ is like, I have to agree with her. And they're like, oh, my God, burn. And she goes, wait, so what are you friends? Are you friends with benefits? Friend with no benefits? Are you sleeping with anyone in L.A., TJ? Are you? And he's like, well, my bug's money that's on my bed.
Everyone's like, what?
Oh, my gosh. Do you guys not have enough ick? Okay. Do you not have enough ick?
Oh man, that was a terrible, that was a terrible pivot. Like you tried to, you tried to cover up like some, something that would make people go cringe, but you just replaced it with something else that I think actually makes people cringe more. Like it would have been just. Now they don't think you're gay.
Now they think you're a pedophile. So nice work.
Just like, why do you have a Bugs Bunny plushie on your bed? No one has that.
That's not a thing. It's just weird. And so I like that they all boo him. Just like, not a good answer. Not a good answer.
Bugs Bunny, not an answer.
So then she's like, oh, well, we did have lunch together, Karen and I. And we did tell Stacy that we should find a bunch of penises, all different shapes, sizes, colors, and do what penis do. That is what she needs to do with penises. And she goes, well, why did you have to tell the story like that, Giselle? Geez.
It's like, well, what I'm just trying to say is get some man inserted in her vagina.
And now she's like, right in some booger sticks.
Like, get it done. Get that vagina all licked in and stuff. And Stacy's like, oh, stop it. Stop it. It's wild they're saying this right in front of TJ. Yeah, and he just loves being on TV.
He's like, yeah, TJ, he's bungling this so bad. So then TJ's like, well, I get that. And listen, if you guys weren't her friends and you weren't looking out for her, you wouldn't have said that, right? So I'm putting everything into being transparent and not having something on the side. And it's just... So are you going to answer the question? Like, yes, exactly.
He's like, I'm just here to be transparent. And as a person who landed a one line spot on Grey's Anatomy, I just want to say thank you for giving me another television gig. It's great. It's great being here in another group event and not being ignored by Stacey.
And just the way he worded this, I'm putting everything into being transparent, not having something on the side. Well, what does that mean? You're putting energy into not having something on the side, but do you have something on the side or not? Answer the question.
Yeah. Stacey's like, well, this is a very intense game. Can we go to the next couple, please? So now we go to Darius and Jassy and Darius is like, do you feel like your partner has ever cheated? And she's like, do you? He goes, no, I don't. She goes, oh, okay. Well, I do. I do think you've cheated. I don't have the proof, but I do feel it. You think he's cheating on you?
He just laughs like, ha ha, of course I fucking did. He's like, I'm in the NFL. Have you seen me? I'm in the NFL. And I feel like Jassy was trying to have a moment. She was having a moment where the music goes, boom, boom, and it gets to commercial. But the show just keeps going.
Jassy's doing this thing where she's like, look at me standing up for myself. I know my man has lied before about a whole child. And although I never caught him, I'm also not an idiot. I am not. Ma'am, he had two. Two of the children while you were dating him. Yeah, you are an idiot. You're still standing right fucking there. What are you talking about?
Yeah, this is not a court of law. You don't have to have the hard evidence. You don't have to have the videotape. You know he lied to you. He had a baby behind your back. Two? Didn't he have two?
Isn't that the thing?
Am I getting that wrong? It feels like every episode there's another child. The point is, don't say that you're not an idiot, but then you're still sticking with the guy who had a baby behind your back.
And he goes, well, you know, when things are on break, I'm not going to deny that maybe things happened when we were on break. I'm like, what are people still using that bullshit from Friends when we were on break? Two children later? Okay, let's just take the two out of it because maybe it's just one. A child later? I don't know. Come on, man. Come on.
And what's funny about Darius is that Darius has this goofy smile. He literally looks like an emoji when he smiles. And he just has this voice. He's like, um, yeah. He's like a total himbo. And he's just like, yeah, I had a baby.
like jazzy come on now yeah so then um greg's like i'm gonna say no because she's being followed so i would know and they're like which probably isn't a joke uh so i didn't laugh really so then um me is like well i'm not going well i'll speak for gordon because i'm still legally married to him And the answer is no. He does. I do not think that he's cheated. And Giselle goes, wait, wait, wait.
Mia, stop. And then we see Mia revealing in 2021 that she had a threesome. And Mia's like, that's not cheating. If I said you can sleep with her, it's not cheating because I knew about it, you know. And Stacy's like, oh, my God.
And Dora.
You're even worse. Yeah. And then Karen's like, but have you ever cheated on Gordon? She goes, oh yeah, I have. Anyway, next question. She's just like, yeah, pass the cheese.
She also had a child with who she's cheating on, which was Ink, possibly. Maybe. We don't know yet.
Who was just honored, by the way.
Thank you very much.
With an award that I'm not naming here because I would like to maintain Ink's privacy about public awards that he's receiving.
But it was a Clio, and you're welcome, Cable.
A Clio. He won the Cable Ace Award.
That's right. So our Clios are for advertising. Cable Ace Awards. Oh, remember the Cable Ace Awards? I sure do. Weren't they on like USA, the USA Network?
The Cable Ace Awards are like, here's a pack of gum for winning this. Best Wings cast member of Wings reruns. It was all like that. So then now they talk about like who's more dominant and who's more submissive. And Kierna is like, TJ, this could give some insight into you. Basically, they just all bag on him for being a virgin still. And he's like, but I'm not a virgin.
And so Kierna is like, oh, so you can let Stacy know how you like it when you get there, I guess.
yeah and so um and then they're all talking about who's who's dominant basically all the pretty much all the men say they're dominant pretty much all the women say they're submissive although in the case of ashley when she dips into the lady pond she's actually more dominant etc and then we get to this like really awkward moment where like like they're Stacy and it gets to Stacy and, um, and TJ.
And he's basically like, he's like, she's like, well, she says that like, well, I, when I'm in the bedroom, I'm definitely more dominant. And then all of a sudden he's like, yo fam, just cause I ain't sleeping with you now. Don't mean you're ever going to be more dominant than I am. And everyone's like,
um it's like what is like tj suddenly becomes a little bit more affected and everyone's like okay gj just stop just stop trying to stop trying to to to make this happen right now it's like fine when they think that he's not having sex but to suggest that he would be a submissive in the bedroom is extremely offensive to his manhood
okay yeah and so now all of a sudden he has to suddenly act like oh i'm very very dominant or it's not even like like whether he's dominant or submissive who cares but it's more like that he suddenly has like this is the moment where he you sort of sense that he's trying to defend his manhood in a way in a way and it just feels so like it just feels so like it's sad and pointless
So Mia's like, I laugh when she goes, well, with Gordon, I was dominant with Gordon because you have to be. Mania, am I right? But Ink, like, he likes to choke me, so I'm going to give him dominant. Stacey goes, oh, my God, it's 12 in the afternoon.
And like Giselle goes, Arabella's still awake. And Giselle's like, yeah, Mia, of course he has to strangle you. That's the only way he can hold on to you.
oh my gosh so wrong in so many ways but i laughed so funny so then um oh this is gonna move on yeah no but karen goes yes i'm sure ink has to use 12 apple boxes just to get to the next i love that she just keeps saying it and i laugh every single time like i never don't laugh at that
DJ Applebox is still one of the funniest things. We have to make a mental note that that has to somehow be nominated for a crappy in some form.
It's so funny. So then, you know, they start talking about Ashley's lesbian, you know, dips in a lady punish and say lesbianism, but bisexuality and stuff. And then Wendy talks about how Ashley showed her bits in Mexico. And then Darius starts talking about how he also likes to choke. And it's not cute from you, Darius, because you're a cheater already. We don't want to hear it from you.
um so then um ray mentions that he was like karen was more dominant than he was and she used to tear her up uh tear him up i should say and then they ask like hey by the way karen you uh you retired your mouth ray do you want there do you want karen to come out of retirement and he's like yes absolutely and they're all just like laughing and then all of a sudden
music the jaws music starts to play and we see like um camera the camera work from inside the pool like the mermaids are in danger and then this tiny adorable dog shows up on the lawn and they're like karen you don't have a dog do you have a dog and she's like no and then here comes jacklyn with a whole bunch of balloons and karen's like absolutely not no go away no no jacklyn
You know how stupid I am? I did not when I watched this last night. I don't know if I started scrolling on my phone because I just thought it was over or what. But I was just scrolling and then I heard, do you have a dog? And they were playing Jaws music. And I was like, are they playing this because they're so terrified of the dog? I didn't even notice it was Jacqueline coming over.
It was Jacqueline as a to be continued.
I was like, that's hilarious that they're making all this big to do about this little tiny dog.
The rule is if they put to be continued on the screen, that means you don't get to see what happens next episode. They don't put up a next episode on. So we had this low stakes to be continued. Like no one cares that Jacqueline showed up. It doesn't matter. Why was this a to be continued? I don't know. So silly. Come on.
Oh, my gosh. All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being with us. We will talk to you tonight at 530 and every other week at 530 Pacific Time for Crappy Hour. Go get tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour at WatchWhatCrappens.com, also the Golden Crappies. And we will see you next time.
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