Top Chef: Canada is in full swing and we’re finally here to run down the chefs via their bios and to talk turkey about the first few episodes. Bon appetit! To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: What is 'Watch What Crappens' about?
Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on your bravs. I'm Ronnie, and over there is the handsome and talented, gorgeous and thin, Ben Mandelker of the Ben Mandelker womb, of Carolyn Mandelker's womb, many years ago. Here he is with us today.
That is my origin story. Hi, Ben. Hi, how are you? How's it going? Good. What's going on with you? You know, just, you know, I'm getting excited for the upcoming weekend and the adventures they're in. What's going on with you? How are you feeling? Oh, whatever.
Chapter 2: Where is the Mounting Hysteria Tour going?
So we are traveling. That's what Ben is referring to. This weekend, we're on the Mounting Historia, Historia. We're talking about history. We've become a history podcast. We're on the Mounting Historia tour. This weekend, we are going to be in DC and Philly. In DC, we're going to be doing Southern Charm Reunion in Philadelphia.
We're going to be doing a Summerhausen, which means those recaps are not going to be out to the weekend here on Watch What Crappens. So instead, today we're going to do a Top Chef Breakdown where we kind of catch up and go over all these chefs. So yesterday we did a trailer trash for The Valley. God, that was fun. And normally those are bonus episodes over on our Patreon.
So if you want to join Patreon and get stuff like that, plus our White Lotus recaps and Traders recaps and stuff like that, go over to patreon.com slash watch what crappens. It's also where you get video like today's. Hello. And you can see all the stuff we're talking about in Trailer Trash and some of these cast members and stuff like that. Because we are putting them up on the screen, okay?
Guess what? Patreon. I mean, Watch What Crappens is also where you get ticket links to the shows in Philly, Washington, D.C., Boston, Massachusetts, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, Las Vegas. Those are all available on WatchWhatCrappens.com. Whoa.
wow pretty cool wow wow great stuff whoa i know so top chef we're three weeks into top chef and we haven't discussed it at all we haven't talked about the chefs at all on the show oh we're gonna do a little video action fun we're gonna actually well we can you know we have we definitely have the option to show people what these these suckers actually look like because here we are on the website yeah
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Chapter 3: What's happening on Top Chef Season 22?
So it's Destination Canada. What do you think so far, Ronnie, about the new season and how everything's going and how newbie Kristen Kish is doing in her second season on the show? What do you think?
I like it. I think the evolution of Top Chef has been a remarkable one. I think that people are so talented on this show now. It's so hard to pick sometimes who sucks because they're all really, really talented. I mean, wow. I mean, one of the guys who won one of the challenges last week, like a chicken sandwich or something, he's like, oh yeah, I've perfected this.
It was named the best chicken sandwich in Chicago for like...
five years and they they opened a james beard house just for me over this chicken sandwich so that's what i'm entering into the competition i mean part of me wishes that it was still like a caterer named betty and you know an ex applebee's chef going against right you know i kind of missed that element of it but for the most part it's pretty good i like it how are you feeling about it
Yeah, I love it. I think this has been a good season so far. I like so many of the characters. I think it's cool that they're in Canada. I still miss Padma. I think Kristen has loosened up a lot. I think last season she was the first half of last season. She was really stiff. I don't think she was comfortable yet.
And I'm still concerned that she hasn't really developed a persona beyond just being nice. But I enjoy her, though. And she has expertise, which is good. And yeah, I've liked all the challenges that we've seen so far. I think Gail has really stepped up her persnicketiness, which I really like a lot. And I've enjoyed the food, the challenges. I still don't understand.
Like, I still don't love the idea that you get immunity from winning the elimination challenge because now the quick fire, the quick fire is like a trader's challenge. It doesn't really matter. It's just money that you can earn on the side. Like, who cares? I don't care if they win money, you know, I would care more if they won like an advantage.
Yeah. I agree. I don't like the whole making the quick fire not matter as much. It matters for their money, which is great. But yeah, I agree with you. I think that it adds an element of scariness when, you know, someone could do well on a quick fire and then be terrible in the main challenge, but they're saved by their earlier performance.
yeah i think it's also like the the the elimination challenge already has its own stakes if you if you it up you get sent off the show so they've just taken the stakes out of the quickfire and i just i don't i just don't understand that it was like they decided to change it up just for the sake of changing it up i guess i think they were so concerned that if you win the elimination challenge like the prize for winning felt inconsequential to the audience but i don't know i just think i think the quickfire is just uh i don't know they need to i think they need to go back on that one or find some way to make it more relevant
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Chapter 4: Who are the standout chefs this season?
I'm guessing that they had so many situations where they really wanted to kick off the person that won the quick fire, that they were like, let's take that element out. But sorry, game makers, you can't just change game rules because I mean, you can obviously, cause you did, but you shouldn't just change game rules because you want to kick people off.
Yeah. Or at least like make the fire be part of like the quick fire should be part of the consideration for the elimination then, you know, but like if the issue, I think you brought up a good point, which is that they probably want to kick off enough people. Tom probably got annoyed. He's like, you know, Our perfectly good chef went home because someone who had immunity got to stay around.
It's not fair. And I think that, like, whatever, you're giving out immunity in a different part of the show instead of you'll still have the same issue.
Yeah. Well, as far as the Kristen thing, you know, I felt like this last year too, like I can't blame, you can't blame Kristen for not being Padma. You know, I feel like we're stepchildren in a way where we're like, you're not my mommy. And, uh, she's not, but I think she does a great job.
I'm just, I think the saddest part was a Padma died in the beginning, you know, Padma died in that horrible quick fire. Maybe that's why they were mad about the quick fire challenge when they did that little Blini challenge and she died on a Blini fry. And, you know, thankfully she's back as a ghost to kind of get little comments here and there.
Yeah. I don't know if you, I don't know if anyone at home heard, but like, uh, we, we definitely heard Padma, you know, we actually heard her voice during the show. It was really strange. So, you know, we'll be, of course we'll be incorporating that. Yeah.
This week they had a hockey challenge and, um, I just heard Padma telling Gail, wow, Gail, you're a family of hockey people really. And you made it all the way through high school without getting pucked once. Yeah. I was like, oh my God, Padma, you're even a bitch as a ghost.
I love it. Please stay here forever. I remember the first time I went to a hockey game, Gail Simmons took me, and it was so fun, although it was quite awkward when she ran out onto the ice and tried to take a bite out of the puck. But other than that, it was a lovely time.
Butter makes everything edible, doesn't it, Gail? So, yeah, it's been enjoyable. So we figured since so much has gone on. Also, this show is traditionally difficult to recap because there's just so much food. It's like, wow, that guy really did a good job with his maple syrup, whatever concoction they're asking them to make this season.
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Chapter 5: What changes are in Top Chef Season 22?
If we don't stay with full-time recaps, we'll be doing some updates and stuff as the season goes on. We'll just see how it works out, okay? Let us know what you think.
I can subscribe. I can subscribe. I think, by the way, my note for Kristen is I just want her to be more mean. I think that's all it is. She doesn't have to be Padma, but she does have to be a little meaner or cutting. And that's all. I just need someone to be not supportive to the chefs. And I'll be happy.
Yeah, I get what you mean about more personality, because she does have that kind of video game version of a host where it's like, and now here coming up. And, you know, I need more.
But I think she's a badass in general. She is a badass. And last season, her whole thing, which I thought was funny, was like the second half of the season, she kept getting herself choked up.
She's like, I remember what it was like to stand in your feet, in your shoes. And I just want you to know, it's an honor. And I feel it was an honor for me. And it should be an honor for you to be where you are right now. So congratulations. You're doing great work.
Yeah. Yeah, she's not doing that this year. She's like, I'm a veteran now. Fuck you guys.
I know how to host. Yeah. So, yeah, let's dive into this cast, shall we?
Yeah, we don't need to go too far into the judges just because, I mean, duh, we already know the judges, right? But I do want to say, Tom, no one's buying this look in your picture on Bravo, okay? This is like... He looks like an orange. He's got the Donald Trump finish on his face, and I don't believe it. Gail, your hair is great. I'm sad you're not wearing patterns.
You're wearing just a solid mustard like the little hot dog you are. I will say last week during whatever challenge that was, she showed up in a tie-dyed dress, and I was dying laughing. Fucking Gail. Every time I think Gail finally got it together for a season, she pulls shit like that.
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Chapter 6: How is Kristen Kish as the host?
Finally, Gail's getting feedback from her attempt at finding a date for the Valentine's dance.
Actually, fun fact, this was a white dress. Gail just spilled all her eggs on it because she's stupid.
Unfortunately, the teenagers on the block thought that Gail was the creepy house, so they just went at her.
It's also mustard. Who am I kidding? If there's a choice between two foods when it comes to Gail, the answer is always both.
Yeah. So let's start with Anya Elwatar. Anya. Now, Anya, I think, was both of one of our favorites because, listen, we love a Russian lady chef. We love it. We loved it on Below Deck Great Adventure. No, wait. No. Below Deck Mediterranean, where they lost the chef and they had to get Dushka from the boat next door. And she just kept coming on. And she didn't know much English.
So they'd be like, hey, Dushka, do you know how to make soup? And she'd go, I'm Dushka.
Yeah. Yeah. Anytime that there's like a chef who's like from like an Eastern Bloc nation also because in Top Chef, All Stars, like the world, All Stars, whatever, there was like that Polish chef and she's like, my specialty is potato. So in this case, we have Anya who in the first episode, all she would talk about was cabbage.
She's like, I'm going to make cabbage and I will add the cabbage to the cabbage with a cabbage sauce and a cabbage reduction. And then after that, more cabbage and everything was a cabbage. And when they had to make poutine, I was like, she's going to make a cabbage poutine, won't she?
Yeah. And there was a, they were presenting their food and they were working as a team and she had made cabbage as part of the dish. And the lady who was announcing all the food didn't mention the cabbage. And then they went back into the line and Anya was like, well, I would have appreciated you mentioned cabbage. Because cabbage is very important to Russia. And you didn't mention the cabbage.
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Chapter 7: Why are the judges' comments on point?
so she brought those and she brought something else this time which was like a powdered version of some something over there i'm like and also pine needles she got like a little bit too far into the into the forest thing i mean the challenge for this week was to make a cold it was all about was all about hockey and so therefore the food had to be served cold
And so you're thinking, okay, she's the Russian chef. And she's like, I love cold. I go swim in 50 degree water in San Francisco because it's cold. And I love everything. I have big cold repertoire. So then she makes cake and ice cream. I just felt like she could have, this one just felt like it was really up for her. Yeah, you're from Russia. You should know how to make cold shit.
Make some beets or some salmon or I don't know, dill.
This challenge is a dish best served cold, like revenge. You know, what fashion takes on Gail every time she steps out in front of a camera. But yeah, she decided to make a cake, but then she couldn't make the cake because she was putting this powdered stuff in it. And so it messed with the consistency of the cake.
So it came out really hard, like a cookie that she had shaped like a maple leaf, which is, I mean, kind of on the nose. And then she did the ice cream, but then that didn't work either. And it was just a whole, it was a whole fucking mess. And she also had a rough time in the quick challenge, the quick fire. Right.
Yeah, what was the quick fire again? Why am I blanking all of a sudden? What was it? She had a rough time. She was in the bottom. Was it maple syrup?
I remember it was last week.
It wasn't poutine. Last week was poutine and maple syrup. And this week, for the quick fire... Oh, they had to make Jamaican patties. So she made... Hers was just crappy. Yeah, it was just... It was bad. So her...
Her stuff. She's chef at Birch and Rye in San Francisco. Born and raised in Moscow. Anya Alwatar's culinary education began with her mother teaching her about foraging. Oh, well, there you go. Preserving and showing love through cooking. Anya emigrated to America at 18. Undergrad degree at Columbia. Attended the Ayurvedic Institute in New Mexico to study healing properties of food. Okay, yeah.
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Chapter 8: Who is the new relationship gossip in the culinary world?
We only had 11 chefs here, but this one just popped up. I like Corbin a lot. His whole thing, when he made a Jamaican patty this week, I kind of felt bad because he's like, well, all the fryers are taken and all the ovens are taken. So I'm going to be clever and I'm going to cook my Jamaican patty in the pizza oven. And so he cooked in the pizza oven, he got char on it and like no one cared.
Like he wasn't in the bottom. He wasn't in the top. No one commented on it. It was just a charred Jamaican patty that just went by the wayside.
Well, those beef patties were insane anyway. 90% of them weren't even closed. You know, they couldn't even get the suckers closed. Some of them were real disasters. Yeah. But apparently they tasted okay because the judges weren't as horrified yet. But the judges are still in that space where they're like, look how talented everyone is. Look, look.
Like they're not even mentioning that half the patties aren't closed, you know?
um so let's move on here next up we've got katiana hong so she's kind of my favorite right now yeah because she's got this simmering attitude of like i hope you all die she's got like this kind of low energy personality and she's extremely gorgeous and she's just kind of like she doesn't act better than everybody but she she's just got this attitude about her i don't know what how to describe it
The attitude is I have a super hot and trendy restaurant in Los Angeles and you guys don't. And so therefore I can't believe I have to deal with you people.
Like she doesn't act like an asshole, but it's just like a very understated, like we all know I'm better than you.
Right. Right. She has this, she's like, we all know that when this show is done, I go back to LA and you like, you're going back to like Bumblefuck wherever. Right. She sort of has this vibe of like, yeah, I'm going back to like the glitz and the glam.
And she's like, why are you making me pose in front of a bunch of jarred food? You fucks. Because the backgrounds on this are different. They don't give them the solid background. They're doing some like, oh, look, it's a kitchen, but we're going to put the background in sepia and then just have you guys stand in front of it. She's like, why? Why am I standing in front of pepperoncinis? You fucks.
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