This week on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Dorit throws a July 4th party that devolves into a series of petty spats. First, Sutton has to wait in a foyer, then she calls Dorit a bitch, and then she throws a tiara. This is all before Erika even gets her once-a-year hot dog. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: How does the episode begin and what is the main topic?
And we are talking Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Before we get into that, of course, come join us on Patreon where you can listen to bonus episodes. We are doing the traders as our bonus episode. these days. We just recapped it yesterday, so go listen to that.
We also do Crabbins on Demand, where you can watch us on video, you can see our smiling faces, which is really fun, sort of rounds out the full Crabbins experience. And of course, in March, we are going back out on the road with the Mounting Hysteria Tour. We are going to go to Cincinnati,
minneapolis toronto charlotte atlanta dc and philly in march that's all in march and we got a whole bunch of other shows in april and in may but we will pester you about those when we get when we get closer to that but for right now come join us what tickets are at watch where crabbins.com we cannot wait to see all your faces in the audience
because there's going to be a lot of shit to talk about, a lot of shows. So for right now, though, it's going to be about Beverly Hills.
Chapter 2: What happened at Sutton's house in the latest RHOBH episode?
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
What a funny episode. Another good one. Really good one. Really, really. And let me tell you something. Kyle Richards made me laugh a few times and not laughing at her. I was laughing with her. I could not actually believe this. Yeah. I was like, wait a second. Is Kyle making me chuckle? This is weird. There you go.
She's getting you back. Slowly but surely she'll get you back. So this is season 14, episode 12, the land of the free, the home of the shade. We're still at Sutton's house.
You know, I have to say we were talking earlier this week in our traders recap available on Patreon about Tom Sandoval's kind of redemption in the audience's eyes, at least where it's like you realize, yeah, I mean, he's still Tom, but Tom was funny before he fucked up, you know, and that it took a really long time for Tom to redeem himself. We were just talking about that.
And I was thinking, you know, a case study on how quickly somebody can kind of redeem themselves is Reba. I mean, Reba, the first week she was on, was probably one of the most hated parents I'd ever seen on a Housewives show. Like, immediately. The comments were, you know, and rightfully so. I mean, she's just, you know, she's like a sticker in your butt.
But by the end, I was like, wow, I like Reba. Who knew? I mean, the woman in three weeks went from a complete villain to, well, I kind of like Reba.
That sometimes happens with Bravo, right? Like sometimes someone could have a villain edit for an entire season and you hate them. And then the next season comes and you're so excited to see them. I mean, remember Camille Grammar season one and then Camille Grammar season two. Season one, she was the most loathed person on Bravo. Like people hated Camille.
And then season two, it was like, oh my God, Camille Grammar. I can't wait to see her. Oh my God, I can't.
Well, yeah, but Camille changed. Like she changed it up because she didn't want to be the most hated. So she went from being villainous, like just downright dirty. And then the second season, she kind of changed her game. Whereas I think someone like Reba is more heroic in a way because she didn't change shit, except she smiled once.
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Chapter 3: How do RHOBH cast members deal with past controversies?
So everyone's packing up and to leave Augusta. So we're still, we got some like bonus Reba time essentially. And Garcelle's like, I don't like this view. It's like, it's what view? Your ass in my face. No. So then they laugh and everything.
And then we go back over to Beverly Hills and Erica is like, she's getting an install with some furniture and something called Harbor comes and delivers some chairs. And she's like, ah,
Harbor. Harbor is so nice. And now with my promo code, you can get Harbor chairs for 65% off. That's right. That's Harbor. Harbor by Erica Jane. Collab.
She should be doing hot dogs because I've never seen somebody say, I want my once in a year hot dog. More times than Erica did today. Like, are you selling the hot dogs? Jesus woman, have your hot dog.
I can't wait to have my hot dog. My once a year hot dog.
Hot dogs are having a moment on Bravo, I guess, between this and Southern Hospitality. Yeah, but she should be selling hot dogs. I would eat them. I would go track her down and have an Erica Jane hot dog.
Now there's a commercial that makes sense. Erica with just hot dogs being thrown at her face. You know, finally.
I want my once a year kosher beef hot dog brand. I will not say until I get some endorsement money, but you know who you are, Shebrew Shational.
so then we go over to Dorito and she's talking to Bose and inviting her over for the 4th of July party and so then we are back with Sutton so Sutton is in the kitchen and Avi is just ready to get the fuck out of this house Avi is just like please get me away from this woman And Kyle comes in, and she's still sweating from her run, guys, because she's really healthy now. It's really hard.
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Chapter 4: What are the dynamics at Dorit's 4th of July party?
Please stop singing in my home. Jesus Christ. Those columns are strong, but not strong enough.
The roof will cave in on us. Oh, what I'd give to hear Garcelle's chattiness right now. But yeah, Kyle trying to make a moment out of this. Like, oh, back to my empty home of shadows and sadness. Oh, relax. Just call Faye. She'll come over. So then Sutton's really happy that everyone got to meet Reba and everything. And Sutton pulls Reba in for like a little hug.
And she goes, OK, mother, I'm going to hold you once a year and you get to say I love you. And Reba's like, really? Now, when's that going to be? Because it's not going to happen right now.
And she's like, well, I guess Christmas. I mean, that's a good time. And she goes, well, I'll write it down and hold a little sign up. How's that? I don't remember my mother saying that to me. And she's like, okay, well, let's not go back into your mother's history, okay? I love you, mother. And she goes, I love you too, Sutton. And they're like, what? Fireworks go off in the background.
And then she just kind of gives a bow like, there. Are you fucking happy? I did it.
And they're all so happy. And Sutton is happy. And Kyle is like, oh, my God. It just reminds me that there's no one to tell me that they love me when I go back to my house that's empty.
It reminds me of the time Mauricio told me he loved me. Let's see pictures of us skiing together in Aspen.
So they hug and listen, I know I'm being cold to Kyle. I get that she's sad and she's lonely because her house is empty. You left your husband. I don't know with Kyle. I just like you're in the middle of some woman's in the house, house in the South and you're still making about.
I'm so alone.
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Chapter 5: What tensions arose between Sutton and Dorit during the party?
Bye. Bye-bye. Get out of here. So, back in Los Angeles, we're at Boze's house, and what's Boze... I forget Boze's... Oh, Nico. He's just sitting on the side, like, holding up a little mirror. We find out later he's actually bedazzling it, but I thought he was just looking at himself in a little mirror. I was like, oh, Nico.
This cracked me up. I think this is, you know, in character development moments, this is a huge one for Boze, that she makes her assistant bedazzle mirrors from Walgreens so that there's drooling. I thought that was so fucking funny. So she's waiting for her cousin. Her cousin comes over and they're like, sisters, me and my cousin. And look at that mirror.
All I'm saying is the back of my mirror needs to match my shine.
So yeah, Tina comes in, that's her cousin, and they say hi and everything, and they comment on the mirror, et cetera, and they're like 10 months apart in age, so they're very close. Even though she's not a sister, she's like a sister, et cetera. So she says, Tina and I talk so much that I think sometimes we talk telepathically.
I can be by text, it could be by text, it could be by phone call, it could just be a mind meld, and guess what I tell her? I invented ESP, congratulations, you're using my personal network of mind...
talking and she's doing that thing where she's putting gold flakes in their tea which is weird or whatever they're having their drinks why don't what is it with gold flakes i mean i get it i hear that silver like if you go to the chiropractor he'll give you liquid silver and that's supposed to do something i don't know for health so i don't even know but what does gold even do except give you a little speck in your poop
It just makes people feel fancy. But look, you know what? It's better than mercury. So Bose is like, well, yes.
Better than botulism.
Better than E. coli. So I don't know why I said it like that, but it felt fun. So they're having a beverage. Okay, there's a lot of hellos here. We're going through it here. Okay, so Bose is like, okay, well, I don't know where to start. Look. So there's so much on my mind. I mean, so many things have been happening because I'm a mature woman.
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Chapter 6: How did Sutton react to Dorit's comments about her drinking?
Well, it is hard to find a fertility doctor in L.A. that isn't there waiting at birth for the baby to pop out so they can start marking up its face with a Sharpie and being like, you need to get higher boobs. OK, I'm going to need higher boobs from you.
To be fair, it seems like there is only one fertility doctor in LA because they all seem to go to him on these shows. MJ went to him and everyone. That one guy in Beverly Hills was like, so we looked at your follicles and you can have a baby. So maybe he was booked.
Yeah, he's the Instagram one. He's like whatever people get free fertility shit for posting on Instagram or whatever. So she's going to have a very fancy one. But the problem is Keeley.
Because, you know, Keeley, Keeley's going to have to get tested too. He's going to have to get every kind of sample. Drip, drip, drop, drop, sample, sample. That's what they're going to do to him.
That was my favorite. That was my favorite when she said, drip, drop, sample, sample.
So she's like, well, what if we don't get the results we want? And you're rich. You just... Morph the baby into whatever you want. I mean, can we do things like gene, gene designing and stuff where you like pick the genes that you want your baby to have? Or I don't know. You can go through like sperm books and pick the perfect sperm and stuff. I don't know. You're rich enough.
You just figure out how to have the baby you want. You know, I feel like it's up to the poor people who don't. We're stuck with whatever we get. You know, whoever you fuck is what you end up with. But I feel like with her kind of money, you can change that baby's looks, its posture, its hobbies, everything in the in the womb. Right.
I mean, there's a very simple answer. At a certain point, you're so wealthy, all you do is this. You go to the store, you get a bonnet and a rattle. You give it to Nico and say, you're my baby now. Just make Nico the baby and just tell him he's not allowed to speak English for two years. And then just enjoy it. Just make him the child. Yeah.
Oh, babies. I don't know. Look, if I was going to go to a fertility doctor, I would just be like, fill me up with disappointment so I'm not phased later. Because I think like no matter what you do, your kid's eventually going to come out and at some point it's going to go, fuck you.
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