This is part one of a two-part recap! Sutton brings Garcelle and Kyle to Augusta, GA on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills so that they can meet her mom Reba, and let us just tell you: what a kind and warm woman. Meanwhile, Kathy hosts a Capri dinner where she learns about Dorit and “PJ”’s crumbling relationship. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey, y'all. It's your girl, Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune in to baby. This is Kiki Palmer. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well-being, check out New Year, New Mindset on the Wondery app.
Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens
Hello, and welcome to Watch Where Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mantelker. Joining me today, Ronnie Karam. Hey, Ronnie, what's going on? Hey, how are you? Just fabulous. Just fabulous. It's another day in the life of the podcast. We've had really such a tremendous, tremendous whirlwind week.
We are here today to talk Real Housewives of Beverly Hills podcast. Tomorrow night, we are in Salt Lake City. And we are so excited. Salt Lake City just won our Crappie for Best Show of the Year. And on top of that, Angie Katzenavis won for Best Bravo Liberty, which was huge. If you want to see that entire ceremony, including Ronnie singing as Dorinda to Sunset Boulevard,
be sure to go check out the stream of it, which is available for another 10 days or so. It's on Kiswe. Our website, WatchYourCrappens.com, is where you can find your link to watch the crappies. I really, really recommend it because once it's gone, it's gone. Also, it's where you can get your tickets for Salt Lake City and then Denver the next day.
So tomorrow night in Salt Lake City, we are going to, of course... recap the final episode of the Salt Lake City reunion. I mean, what an honor to do Salt Lake City in Salt Lake City. Last time we were in Salt Lake City, Heather and Meredith and Seth came to our show. So I'm very excited for what may happen tomorrow night. And then on Friday, we are doing Southern Charm.
So it's really going to be a great blockbuster way for us to not only end out this week, but end out this pocket of live shows that we have done over the past three weeks. So we look forward to seeing everyone there. And thank you to everyone who has come to our shows over the past week and a half, etc. It's been a truly, truly wonderful, wild ride.
Yes, and then after that in March, we've got a crazy March for touring. We're going to be in Cincinnati, Ohio, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Toronto, Charlotte, North Carolina, Atlanta, Georgia, and Washington, D.C., and Philadelphia. So we've got a lot of dates coming up. Is that all in March?
Oh, my God. That's going to be great. You know what? Those shows will be amazing because by the end, we're going to be like, from all the traveling, we're just going to be wild on stage. I just know we'll be lunatics. We are. And we're so happy. All those cities. We have always had great shows in all these places, so we can't wait to see everyone again. So yeah, go check it. Get your tickets.
And then there's the usual stuff, Patreon, et cetera. A bonus episode, we put up Traders. Traders is we're recapping it. It went up yesterday. So if you want your Traders fix, that's where you find it.
That's where it is, as well as the videos, which we are on today. OK, let's get on to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We open this very special episode, season 15, episode 10. It's called Sweet Home Augusta. And we see a clip. It's a black and white clip, which actually PK's face makes a lot more sense in black and white, doesn't it?
He looks like, I don't know, someone who'd be banging Mae West in some bordello or something. Some silent picture. And it's 2016, and he's giving a speech to Dorit in front of everybody on a microphone. And he's like, Dorito. My darling, as I stand here tonight welcoming our friends and family, it's not just for Funyun. It's an opportunity to confess publicly.
You send Pringles up my spine and I'll never Cheeto on you. I love you dearly. My dear Dorito.
Also, we've just adopted a golden cheese doodle. I was like, I can't think of any snacks.
I can't wait to have little baby curds together.
like ben you have three seconds to come up with a snack two one ah i don't have it yet i'm tired it's rainy in los angeles my brain's not on um and i can't wait to listen to your word salad for the rest of my damn it i brought salad into this all right this marriage is over i'm done i'm done i can't take anymore pork rinds am i right so i think this was the speech that he gave her during some
Was it the renewal of their vows? I don't remember what it was, but I think it was when they were in the J-Lo house and people had to take the golf carts up the hill to get to the house.
Yeah. Is this when they had Boy George hidden behind a curtain, but they told... Because it was a surprise, they told everyone there was a black mold situation, which, of course, you... Why would you not tell anyone that at your party? Of course, you're going to tell people you have a black mold situation.
I might be getting my my PK and Dorit parties mixed up, but I'm not really sure. But yeah, I will never forget the black mold. So then we see another scene in their bedroom where he's like, you look unbelievable. You look radiant. You look gracious.
And she's like, thank you, PK.
And he's like, I was talking to this Snickers bar, actually. But love your sweater, darling.
And then we see Jagger when he was a toddler and everything. And then Pika's like, Jagger, what do you think, son? Yes or no? And she said, what do you think, Jagger? And Jagger's like, yes. He's like, no, I was asking you about whether I'll have to buy mommy another car. So that's hoping you say no.
I wish Jagger's answer to everything is Erica sucks. Because that was my favorite Jagger moment in the world when he's like, you're the villain. He told Eric. Yeah. God bless his heart. But he's such a cute kid. And I'm so glad he's kind of growing out a PK face because I remember watching this and being like that poor thing. What a long road to hoe. But it's all working out for him in the end.
So Dorit's getting choked up. And then we see Dorit surprising PK for his birthday. And now it's her turn to make a grand declaration of love. And she's like, PK. Yeah. You bring so much colour, so much purpose to me life. A life that's seemingly impossible to live if you weren't by my side of potatoes. There, I needed to get you to pay attention. So focus.
I never knew someone so pasty could bring so much color to my life, but there you go.
And then the Beverly Beats fashion show. Yeah, we see all the models and everything. And she's like, my husband, I was just thinking about my husband. And then PK walks in and she's like, oh, oh.
imagine walking up and seeing beverly beach so fast you're basically corporate america all wrapped up in one fabulous thing but like this you know what i mean
Bubbly. That was our most current Dorit sound clip when she met both. You're corporate America wrapped up in one fabulous package. It's like she's in a car that's about to run through a stop sign and she's slamming the brakes. She gets so excited, she slams on her brakes.
So all she's thinking about during Beverly Beach is her husband. You know, the last thing I want to think about when I think about people in bathing suits is your husband. Okay? Keep PK out of this conversation, please. Cover-ups, maybe. Sheets, fine.
Also, I'm like really upset that this random montage, which I don't know why we have this montage right in the middle of the season, but sure. I don't know why this random montage did not feature one of my favorite PK quotes of all time. Punta Cana. That's where you go. That's where it's at, babe. That's where it's at, babe. That's where you go, babe.
Yeah, this was one of those things that's trying to convince us that PK and Dorit have this like whirlwind romance that we're now missing out on. And they never did, guys. I'm sorry. But I don't know how much money this man convinced Dorit that he had.
But every time she's like, all I think about is PK.
I just I'm sorry. I can't buy it. No, neither can PK. You're in love with a tub of cottage cheese who owes money to literally, like if you've never seen a tub of cottage cheese get its knees broken for past debts to the Bellagio, you're in for a treat to eat.
And not even the good cottage cheese, the small curd cottage cheese. Ew.
5% cottage cheese. Ew.
skim cottage cheese you might know you might as well be eating spackle however full fat cottage cheese delicious delightful delicious I love full fat cottage cheese creamy wet I love it I love everything about it yeah me too I'm a cottage cheese fan I still wouldn't date PK though
Okay, so then we get to the home invasion where Dorit's sobbing outside and PK's like, get over it, babe. Like, seriously, what's wrong with you? And then she's discussing her trauma and he's like, well, you've been through a really traumatic thing and you also have a lot of fear that's not rational. For example, every time I come out of the bathroom in my underwear, why do you scream?
Well, that's nothing new, is it?
and there's like you know there are also i don't really consider to be ptsd i consider they're more obnoxious you know like i don't know telling everyone that i'm a raging alcoholic yes yes that is what it is what you are Extremely severe.
Extremely severe.
Out of control, alcoholic. So then we see a clip of Dorit talking to Kyle saying, I started to feel, is it possible that PK and I would not make it? You know, ever since the supermarkets stopped carrying pickle chips, he's been in a foul mood and I'm just not sure we're going to go all the way.
Yeah, it was a real shocker that a man who left his family to get with some young blonde chick is now leaving his family. Again, shocker patterns, okay? Pick better. Get a better picker. Now, that said, I like Dorit, and I do feel bad for her, mostly because she's going to be poor now. I mean, she was poor with PK too, but he had a way of faking it that I don't think she's learned, you know?
Yeah. So now we fast forward to now and we're at Kathy Hilton's home and Dorit, Bose, Kathy and Erica are eating dinner and discussing her divorce. And Bose is like, do you not think he still wants to be married to you? And Dorit is like, No, no, I don't. And I know this. If I have to go to war, I will go to war. Now, which country will I be fighting for? I'm not sure.
Depends on what my accent is that day. But once you get to that headspace, it's not going to be easy to pull back.
And Erica's like, ding, ding, ding, get out. Get out. So one week earlier, we're at Kyle's house and Kyle's trying to wash one of her gigantic hairy dogs. And she's like, Storm, why do you smell disgusting? God, Storm, stop running away. She wants to hose him off, but she only washed his back. She didn't even wash the sides. I mean, girl, just hire somebody. You're rich as hell.
Yeah. hire someone or like give the dogs to someone who knows how to take care of these things. These dogs are always running away from her. She has, they're at, they're totally out of control. They eat everything inside. Like, look, I know dog. Yes, yes. Dogs eat everything, but these dogs are particularly out of control. And she always is acting like it's so charming, but,
Remember when they went to Palm Springs or Kinter or something and that dog was just eating everyone's sandwiches? That is not charming. Get your dog to finishing dog school, okay? Because you don't know how to control your dogs. And now you've got this dog with a soapy back running around everywhere. You're not equipped for dogs. You are not a dog person. I know dog people. I see Ronnie.
I see other friends. They know how to deal with dogs, but your dogs keep running away from you because they know you're not, you're not their people. So like, just give it up. Okay. We get it. We get it. Like you're not, okay. We, you, you did the Lisa Vanderpump thing. You did the swings. You got the dogs.
you tried everything okay you became friends with pk over to read you did the lisa vanderpump thing it's over okay let's take down just just go into your into your foyer and stare at your neon art and call it a day go work on your salmon that's what i say so yes actually work out the salmon that could you definitely need to work on that yeah so now we go to martin lawrence blood fabrics
And Eric is with Martin Lawrence, and he's like, your total for this is 37,000 individually wrapped bell peppers from Fresh and Easy.
Oh, I've been storing them in my freezer. I hope that wasn't too much of a shock for you.
Um, okay. Now I enjoyed the little Dorit, the history of Dorit and PK montage that we had at the top of this episode for no good reason. But I think I would have liked some of that time dedicated to more Martin Lawrence Ballard. Like how are we just relegating him to this little clip? We need like full scenes of him every episode.
Yeah, I need more of him as well. And she's like, well, that feel expensive, but I got the money.
It's not like I got a hook on Sunset for it or nothing.
He's like, oh, well, I also bought you some wallpaper from India. It's going to cost you 45,000 extra dollars. Sharon Osbourne recommended it.
And then we go over to Kathy's house and she has an IV strapped to her and she's calling Bose. And there's a woman puffing her arms, rubbing lotion all over her. There's another woman doing her nails, another woman doing her hair, another one pulling her head back with a chip clip just to keep the forehead up. I mean, the woman has everything. I was trying to add up, how much does this cost?
How many people could you feed? How many of Kyle's dogs could you rescue with that money?
yeah every time we like this every season like kathy's doing something else like one season it's kathy lying in bed with a big box fan but this season it's like kathy in her like cryogenic chamber being like resuscitated like watching her like daily maintenance in that chair is so fascinating to me it feels like some sort of like cronenberg like the sci-fi gross out yeah you know
And it's just more and more every time. I mean, she's going to eventually just have one of those full like car washing machines, you know, where the the big things come out and like a little squeegee comes down and starts working on her face. I mean, by the end, she's just going to be ahead, you know, and she's going to be like on a bowling ball sack that they're just polishing.
i fully fully can imagine kathy elton just like plopping down her chair in a car wash and just going through it like everything you just said like the things flapping at her face and then the metal thing at the end that's like right up her head she's like okay i got rid of all the dead cells
Yeah, just, you know, take her out back, vacuum her off, call it a day.
Hang a little pine tree on her and send her off. Why do I smell like coconuts?
The piña colada smell. So she's having a party, a little dinner party, and she's inviting bows.
And she's like, so what are you wearing around your neck? Are those puka shells? Are they pearls? What's going on there, dear?
And it's like, these are diamonds, honey. Yeah.
Oh, okay. And then we go to Sutton's house and Garcelle is there and they're just saying hi and everything. Talk about their clothing. There's a lot of highs you have to sort of wade through. Sutton goes, well, I want to see if maybe you would come with me to Augusta and meet my mother. And Garcelle's like, oh my God, Reba, this monster of a woman that created you.
No.
No, Reba. And miss the opportunity to see the ground zero of your emotional terrorism? No.
I'll be there. I'm a little nervous about your mom, but other than that, I'm really good. Well, now listen, I love my mother, but she's very difficult. Yes, son. We see how you turned out. We understand. Yes. You don't have to say that part out loud.
My mother and I have sort of found ourselves in a bad place in the past 10 years. And then we see a picture of Sutton and Reba embracing. But then we see a flashback where she's crying and she's saying, I know my mother loves Christian. She says that, but does she love me? She loves Christian's money. You know, I love Christian's money. I don't even fucking know the guy and I choose him over you.
I mean, what do you have? A cute dog. I take your dog. I take your dog. You've got Ari and an empty house. I will take Christian's money any damn day of the week. Okay. Shit. I'd take Christian's money over half the people I know.
I have been resentful about my mother's praise on Christian even after we were divorced. Oh, did you see Christian did this in the Wall Street Journal or the New York Times? And I'm like, yeah, but do you remember my store in West Hollywood? Give me some praise. Well, okay. Okay.
I am not going to take away from you, son, that your mom is very difficult and your mom should be praising you and giving you love. But like when someone does something that's in the Wall Street Journal, like I do think it's like slightly more impressive than like the little boutique you opened up on Almonte.
Oh, no, no, no, sir. No, sir. That is your mother taking the side of the fucking man. Oh, hell no. I would.
Well, no, I'm just saying in general, like, I feel like it's what this is when they were married, though. Right. Or no. Oh, no. The story came afterwards. No, the mom's still bragging about his ass.
She's like. Hey, honey, you know what Sutton really should have done if she was smart and she really needed validation from her mother is just named the store Christian. Because then her mother would be like, oh, my God, Christian's doing so well. You know, Christian is such a success. And Sutton would be like, oh, my God, thank you so much, mother.
Listen, it's shitty that the mom is even talking about Christian to Sutton. But there was something about Sutton saying this that felt like she was like, the implication was that like her storm was Hollywood was like as impressive as like these, these giant whatever things are happening. So like, I just thought it was funny also, because like,
I just feel like Sutton just shows up to the store for the show and then she does her scene and then goes home. I think that Sutton's stronger case would be like, yeah, did you see me at BravoCon? Did you see the fact that I have lines of fans outside lining up for me at BravoCon, signing autographs, and I'm famous now and I'm on TV? That's a stronger case than like, did you see my store?
It's Hollywood.
I don't know because the mom seems attached to material things. So I think she would get a store, whereas the BravoCon thing I think would make her throw up. I think she's probably so mortified that her daughter is on The Real Housewives. That's probably true. She just seems like that kind of snob who's like, we are private people, Sutton. Private people. Private dancers. Dancers for money.
Do what you want me to do. Do what you want me to do. Yeah. I mean, you buy one plantation house for a woman and she's yours forever. Jesus Christ, Reba.
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Hey, y'all, it's your girl Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about new year, new me. Well, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. We're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new perspectives. And honey, it's going to change your life. I sat down with astrology queen Channing Nicholas.
Y'all, if you want to understand yourself better this year, this episode is it. And then there's my chat with the incredible Da Vinci where nothing was off the table. If you're looking to level up your mindset this year, his words are definitely going to hit different. If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune into baby. This is Kiki Palmer.
Catch it on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And for the full experience, head to my YouTube channel. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well-being, check out New Year, New Mindset on the Wondery app. Let's make this year our best one yet, baby.
So then Sutton's like, well, I'm going to see my mother. And I thought you might want to join us. And she's telling Kyle now. And Kyle's like, me? You want me to come? I'm going to come to this show. So I guess Kyle says, please, don't bring a dog.
Okay. Yeah. It's sort of surprising that Sutton is bringing Kyle, but I think it's A, she wants to flex and show this big house that she has down in Georgia. And B, she's in a fight ultimately with Dorit, so she has to unfortunately be on Kyle's side. So this is who she's got. And C, Jennifer Tilly must have been busy because this was clearly a Jennifer Tilly slot that Kyle took up.
Or her mother's just like, not that Jennifer girl. I swear to God if you bring that Jennifer girl.
Because you know Jennifer is like, oh my God, what a lovely doll that you've got here. What's her name? Reba. Put some champagne in her hands. Hey, hit her on the head with this purse that's shaped like a bow. Dolls love that. Ow!
Get that little mogul out of my house.
I really love your asymmetrical hairline. Those bangs, they're very much like Glenn Close in that horror movie. I thought you looked fabulous in that. Was that character Beast off of you? Never have her back here.
I'd love to show you one of the films I've starred in. It's called Bound.
and that's there it is that's what that's that's that's that was the moment where jennifer tilly was uninvited well i'm gonna see this i want to see what sort of feature films this oscar nominated actress was in okay this one child's play oh oh this i don't approve okay bound this one's more critically oh oh yeah she's not invited anymore
Something's like, it's so fun, Augusta. I mean, it's a special place. I even have a porch, so we can just sit on the porch and we can use the BB gun daddy bought me to shoot maids as they go home from work.
Great times, great times. Yeah, I love Augusta. They've got a tiny little airport, which we'll get to, but when she brags about how she loves that the airport's so small, never heard anyone ever say that. Well, we all like a small airport, like Burbank Airport, that you can go in and out of, but when they get too small, That's not good.
I hate a teeny tiny airport because you have to still get there at the same amount of time as a regular airport, but you don't have any amenities. You're just sitting there in a plastic chair, uncomfortable for 90 minutes.
Yeah, there's nothing to eat there. I do like the El Paso, Texas. That's where I'm from, and I love their airport. It's small-ish. It's gotten a little bit bigger over the years, but they have a knife shop. There's tacos and knife shops.
What? They have a knife shop in the airport? Yeah.
You can get your turquoise. You can get a knife. It's like 9-11 never happened.
Yeah. Yeah. That's wild. Oh, gosh. So where are we here?
Well, Garfield and Kyle, they're the perfect women to take with me because basically both of their mothers have passed. And I can say, well, what's worse? This one's still living. Sorry, that's so dark. But I did think that was a little odd.
And actually, I didn't think of it until I read it in a comment on Reddit where they were like, she was like, why would they be the perfect ones to take when their mothers have both passed? It's just such an odd choice. You know what I mean? Because when you complain about your mother, and I've made this mistake before, because, you know, my mother and I complaining about each other is our pastime.
That's just what we do. It's in our DNA. My grandmother was the same way. And that's just how we live. That's how we love.
know we bet you about each other behind each other's back and to each other's face to be fair um but you're not supposed to do that in front of people who have lost their parents like it's so disrespectful and so it's weird that she's like you know what i'm gonna take two of the people who have suffered the worst loss that a child could suffer to meet my mother and let's see who's got it worse
Well, I have to assume that she was thinking, you know, they have not had any sort of like motherly, they haven't had motherly energy in their life recently. And so this way they can remember what it's like. Sometimes people do that, but it's weird to do that with Reba when Sutton's like, she's tough. She doesn't love me. She loves my ex. She actually doesn't even remember my name.
Anyway, I'm going to introduce her to my friends and they can get her maternal instincts.
I can kind of understand the Kyle choice because Kyle's mother was a battle ax, too, from everything that we've read about her. So it might be a fun competition to be like, well, my mother loves my husband more than me. And Kyle could be like, well, my mother loved Justine Bateman more than me. So who wins? Yeah. Well, my mother tried to poison one of my ex-boyfriends. Really?
Because my mother fed nails to one of her ex-husbands to try and kill him.
I think for Kyle, it's purely just a flex. Like, look, Kyle, I'm going to show you just a side house I happen to have that has columns. Wait, how much do these columns cost?
So let me show you one of these houses, how they were originally built. Kyle, you have the universal studios version of my house. That's because I was in Halloween. I'm a working actress. We didn't even have to pay anybody to build mine.
Yeah, exactly. So Griselle is like, she's like, well, you want to be gentle. She is 82 after all. And so he goes, oh, well, wait till you meet her. She does not need to be treated with kid gloves. More like a, more like a, one of those electric prods that treated the velociraptors within Jurassic Park.
Let me tell you, I've known a lot of people who have met Reba, but there hadn't been one of them that didn't feel like Newman in Jurassic Park. when that woman met their gaze.
She'll spit on you. So Kyle's like, yeah, she's not giving me feeble vibes. Oh no, she's not feeble. She is not. She is not feeble pressing. So Kyle is like, she's like, well, we best get to work. I'll bring some psychology books. So they all laugh. Now we go to Dorit's house and Bose comes over and Bose is like, hello, my darling, we're matching. And guess what? I invented matching.
You're welcome. You're such a vision. Okay, let's sit down, girl, because we need to talk. So this is Winnie. Who is this one? This dog over here. That's Pumpkin. Winnie, Pumpkin, I don't care. I don't like either one of them. So we had so much fun at the beach. Do you want to talk about how much fun you had at the beach?
And so we see fun times at the beach. And then we come back and Dorit's, we see the flashback of Dorit saying, this morning Jigar said, are you and daddy divorced? There's no sour cream and onion chips in the pantry. Does that mean daddy's not coming home? Because usually that's his bat signal that it's free to come home. He can smell them from London. It's crazy.
Normally, if I just put some Rotel and Velveeta in the microwave, he suddenly appears in the doorway.
It's like saying Beetlejuice three times. Rotel, Rotel, Rotel. Nay, be cold with me.
So Dorit's like, well, you know, that day, so then, the way she came in, it was like so brutally, she just shut me down. But honestly, shut up sometimes. You know what I mean? I'm sorry. I'm Team Garcelle on this one. Just brevity. You know what I mean? Make it shorter, sister.
You have a whole van. You have a whole van ride, a sprinter. You're going to be able to tell the whole story.
So- You've got to ride to Ventura County to talk about Piquet, for Christ's sake. Do we have to do it during charcuterie?
Just let me eat my goddamn sandwich, woman. I mean, were they at Doritza? It doesn't matter. So Bose is like, well, did you call Piquet? Did you tell him? And Dorit says, well, what Jagat said, I sent him a long text.
I said, I know you're coming back from London soon. And I think it's really a good idea for us to get to a more friendly place, you know, for the kids. And it will be easier for them. And then I never heard back from him. So then a day later, I wrote back. And I said, no response, PK? Really? No response?
And then he writes back, I'm at your friend's wedding. Have a nice day. Have a nice day.
When did I become the enemy? Oh, gosh. Two years ago? I think two years. I mean, it's been like two years that he's hated her, right?
yeah it's probably been longer so she says i haven't heard a single word from pk since he stormed out of the office when i ran out of popcorn and then we were in therapy and he did that again and i mean i said pk you're not allowed to bring popcorn to therapy and he screamed and left there too he said he wanted a divorce but then he came back and got his popcorn he said one person i'll never divorce popcorn
I knew I should have never made some kettle corn while he was gone at the therapist's office. It's just instinct now when you're married to him.
Well, listen, here's my concern. You need to be prepared because his return from London, it could go left. It could go right. It could go up. It could go down. You know what I mean? That's what we say in business.
Yes, it's like him trying to stay in a lane. You go left or to go right, you know? It's hard with this car. So she says, like, yes, and then he could serve papers. And Bose goes, oh, girl, what happens? I think about it all the time, him serving papers. I don't want to eat papers. Why would he serve me that?
So then we go to Bose and Keeley arriving at Boulevard Steakhouse, or as I like to call it, Boulevard. And so they're going to have some dinner. And this is her date, Keely. Now, I do not get the best vibes from this guy. Like, look, want Bose to be happy? This is not the guy for you. I hate his shirt. Let's just start with the shirt. Hate it. Cheetah. Cheetah print. Nope.
um i hate his whole tacky cheesy vibe with her i hate that he wants her to have three children at 48 that's crazy sir okay yeah um also you're old too just stop it al pacino nobody wants your babies running around this old and no offense because people can have babies that age i know that and good for you but just dating someone and being like here's what i expect from you three children have fun no
Did he say that? Did he say that when they went on their date on the beach that he wants three children?
I think he said he wants three children. Yeah, that's in my memory. He wanted three. Well, he better hurry up.
He better hurry up because she's like, I am in my late 40s. So they're sitting down. They talk. They talk about talking about relationships and stuff.
timelines and um she's like trying to find somebody to connect with in la in your late 40s oh damn near impossible so i appreciate my relationship with keely we are in our love bubble everything is fantastic we are definitely a goo goo a gaga a boo boo and a baba lala and a lila left right left
She's like, all right, we need to have some conversations. It feels like we're hurdling some things, you know, if we go all the way to fertility. And he's like, well, when did you at what point did you feel I was wasting your time? Because I'm not going to say I'm going to waste your time. I'm not saying that. And she's like, and I guess, do you feel that there's a timeline?
She's like, well, I mean, I'm 47. Where are the eggs? They're getting older. I have old eggs and babies don't grow on trees. Got to get moving. All right.
Let me tick. The egg shortage is not just at the supermarket. So let's get this going. All right. Get out of San Diego and come up to L.A. I'll say that's where probably she feels like you're wasting time because you're still in San Diego. So that would be the first good move would be Hollywood. And she says, well, you know, if I want to carry a baby myself, I don't have a lot of time to do that.
And then I don't want to be out of wedlock. And he's like, yeah, I know. I mean, we're on the same page. You know, I think you're an incredible woman. And I love the fact that you're not pressuring me into anything. If I'm not pressuring you into anything, I'm failing my job. Put a baby in me.
No kidding. Like, shit her, get off the pot. You know what I mean? And she's basically telling him that. She's like, if you want babies, we've got to get married first. So what's up? And he's like, oh, thanks so much for not pressuring me. This dinner is over. Bye.
The next thing that comes to this table better be a baby or the check.
I mean, I really like her. I think she's wasting her time with this fucking loser. I get, I get very clear loser vibes from this guy.
Yeah. So now we go over to the Oak tree gun club and shooting range, which is open to the public. And it's a, it's a shooting range. And so Kyle is there with, with Mauricio and,
um because he wants her to uh be equipped with a gun know how to use a gun ever since because for some reason um it's been seven years but suddenly they've decided that it's time for kyle to be better with home security i guess maybe because she's on her own now so it's been seven years since they had their home invasion honestly
Okay, I know gun control, gun rights, all this stuff is a very, you know, controversial topic. People are very divided in this. You know, I have my own views, which I, you know, other people have their own views. But I think one thing that we can all agree on, like, yes, the Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms.
But I think there should be an amendment to the amendment that says, but maybe not Kyle. Because guess what? I don't think I don't see anything good about Kyle having a gun. Kyle Richards with a gun in the middle of the night, that is just not going to end well for anyone. Let's just make that, let's ratify this constitution and just say, right to bear arms except Kyle Richards.
Yeah, and you know, there should be certain laws, like we know that there are laws regarding guns, and there should be a special law to not be able to have a gun when there could possibly be a Kim around the house. That's it.
Oh gosh, Kyle would... But those big dogs running around startling her. I mean, she gets startled by everything that moves. I mean, first of all, just for bird safety, she shouldn't have a gun, okay? Yeah. Because guess what? Those birds are about to fuck around and find out with Kyle and her little, you know, magnum. So, but she's there to learn how to shoot a gun.
Also, this is such a Kyle scene because she's like, look at me. First of all, she's having some weird scene where she's kind of flirting with Mo. It's like this, like, Poor me. Mo doesn't like me anymore. So she's giving that vibe in the scene. But she's also dressed like she's flirting with Morgan and going to a gun range. Yeah.
Not to be stereotypical, but we never really saw Kyle dressing in this like tough girl manner until she started dating Morgan or allegedly dating Morgan. And so that's kind of weird. It's like she's flirting with the ex-girlfriend if she was dumped and if they were dating. Fucking Kyle stories. I can't take them.
and so she's then she's got the mauricio thing and then she's like look at me just a girl i mean guns girls yeah i mean maybe girls should learn to use guns but she clearly knows how to use that gun i mean you see her use the guy and i'm like damn you know how to shoot a gun girl that's that's amazing this is how i shoot guns
yeah it's called the recoil idiot i'm like oh god you have to be so strong for one of these take me home and carl's like
She had to learn for Halloween. You know, I thought this whole scene was annoying because, first of all, it felt like two midlife crises colliding. You described Kyle's perfectly. And then you have Mauricio who's like, yeah, I'm single and in a midlife crisis. So he's being all tough. He's got his tight t-shirt on.
And he does this thing later on in the scene where he, for some reason, feels like he needs to climb over the fence and then do the rest of the scene from behind the fence of the shooting range.
Oh, you didn't see why? Because... He sat up on the table to talk to Kyle, and then she jumped up on the table next to him, and he immediately jumped off the table and jumped to the other side. So I think he's got a girlfriend that he doesn't want to see him. Well, they're both fucking idiots. He doesn't want to see him getting close with his ex.
I don't want to see either of it. Why don't they just stand there like two normal people? Why does one, why do they both have to sit on the fence? And like, why are you on the other side of the fence? That's like, you're not supposed to do that. You're at a shooting range. Okay. And it was always, it just had this annoying bravado.
And Kyle's like, well, if I'm going to defend myself, I hope I look like a badass. And like, I hate that. Like, I hate that. I hate like associating, like shooting a gun off with being a badass. I think that's such a terrible thing. I'm sorry. Well, welcome to America.
Yeah. Well, that's the problem. You're going to have to skip like 80% of movies then.
I know. I know. But I just feel like like defend yourself. Fine. But like, I don't think it makes you look like a badass. But either way, it's just everything annoying about the scene. But the thing that annoyed me the most was that we had to sit through an entire scene with guns going off the entire time. They were like, I'm trying to have a conversation. I was like.
I'm like, could we have, could we have for once moved into like every scene on Bravo, they always start someplace and they're like, let's go inside where it's shadier. And like this is the one time they decided not to move locations and we had to hear gunshots the entire scene. The audio department must have been losing their mind.
It reminded me of when that Peggy chick, Peggy Tanis, which was the one who went on and her first scene was like shooting guns at the gun range with all her tats and her big boobs.
I think that was Peggy Tannis.
Yeah, it was Peggy Tannis. I was like, wow, Kyle's going down to Peggy Tannis levels. Well, here we go. Glad to be here for it. So they go to the shooting range and I love that the shooting range guy's like, so why are you here at the range? For fucking muffin lunch, you idiot. What do you think I'm here for? Let's shoot some fucking guns. Less questions, more badassery. Bring me the gun, bitch.
So they shoot the guns off and everything. And then Mo's like, oh yeah, now I'm going to shoot my gun. Yeah, because I'm in a midlife crisis. Okay. So then he's shooting his gun.
I'm sorry to interrupt you, but you know that Dorit and PK, you know that PK at the very least was like cringing at this, watching it at home. Because the guy goes, all right, now here's how you get the magazine in. Slap it like it owes you money.
I've been slapped quite a bit by George. Bellagio. Bellagio slaps her. Bye, babe.
Everyone out there should listen to Small Town Murder. You really should, mainly because you never know who's next door. And that's the point of this show, really. You never know who is next door. You never know what's going to happen on Small Town Murder. That's what makes it so wonderful. The only thing you do know is that people are going to die, and we're probably going to make jokes about it.
That's it. That's all we can promise you. We dig into these towns. We see what makes them tick, from local legends to scandals they may have had. And, of course, the biggest scandals of all, horrible murders that take place there. And we put our, what I feel is a completely appropriate comedic spin on the whole thing. And you know you need a laugh right now. So get in there.
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Welcome to the Offensive Line. You guys, on this podcast, we're going to make some picks, talk some s**t, and hopefully make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Agar. So here's how this show's going to work, okay? We're going to run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like No Offense.
No offense, Travis Kelsey, but you've got to step up your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year. We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May Have a Point Award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably bitter. Is it Brandon Ayuk, T. Higgins, or Devontae Adams?
Plus, on Thursdays, we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery Plus, where I share my fantasy football picks ahead of Thursday night football and the weekend's matchups. Your fantasy league is as good as locked in. Follow the offensive line on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can access bonus episodes and listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
So they shoot and then Kyle's like, so like, how's your condo coming together? He's like, yeah, it's like pretty good. It's like, it's nice. Like, I've got like eggs and, you know, like a lot of canned soups. And she's like, canned soups? He's like, yeah, like tomato or like whatever. She's like, I didn't even know they made those sort of things. Oh, well.
Either way, it's really quiet over in our place. Like, there are doors that we don't even know how to open still. And you're, like, in a new place. It just feels new and different from our home.
And I'm in, like, the same place. It just feels like it's just, like, different.
They're trying to outvict each other. Yeah. And Kyle's trying to outvict each other. He's like, I'm eating tomato soups out of cans and maybe an egg. And she's like, the house is so lonely.
She gets sad and she's going to start to cry. And the implication is that she's home alone and it's sad. But I think she's crying because Marisa got to get a new place and she didn't get to get a new place. I think that's really what it comes down to.
She even says that at one point. She's like, well, it's not fair. Well, she doesn't say it's not fair, but she's like, I mean, everything's new for you. You have this new place. And then I'm just in the home. I'm in the home where we all lived. Well, you're the one who didn't want to move, and you're also the one that wanted this divorce.
Now, here's what's making me crazy about this, as if I haven't said it 9,000 times, because the scene keeps happening in different forms. But it's funny reading online and trying to decipher what people are thinking because some people are like, oh, he definitely cheated on her and that's why she left and this and that.
And from what she's kind of dropped hints about, it's made it sound like that, but she won't outright say it, which leaves it open to all this speculation, which leads me to believe that she was a cheater there. I just, I'm sorry. And I'm sure he's probably cheated multiple times over their relationship, but...
I think going on Instagram and hooking up with some girl that she liked is what she accused him of. And I just feel like she's a cheater because I feel like if he was a cheater, she'd 100% be throwing him under the bus instead of just hinting and trying to make us believe it. I don't know. I don't know what it is. And where is Morgan? Did Morgan dump her? Like, what's happening?
I need to know what's happening. We have so many scenes with Kyle and we don't know what's happening. Just tell me what's happening so I can stop speculating nonsense.
I think Morgan is busy working on her whiskey still in the back barn.
She's totally one of those, like, I'll make my own beers in the backyard, Kyle. Everybody's got to have a hobby. I'm really trying to work on the hops.
sorry kyle making some moonshine right now i'll call it back later yeah so so um we see a montage of kyle and marie's greatest hits for like the 45th time this season um we get it we've seen it we don't care and then kyle's like it really is like grieving the loss of someone who is still there oh
I'm like, I know it's like, it's every time I think about Rinna, I'm like, I feel like she's dead, but I know she's alive somewhere, but she's blocked me. So I don't know. Is she alive? Is she dead? Is she dressed like a clown somewhere?
Actually, she is dressed like a clown somewhere.
That's exactly the, she is.
She is going to fashion shows. And the most recent article I read on her was this weekend. And it's like, look how many different wigs that Lisa Rinna wore at the fashion shows. And then it just cuts to different shots of Lisa Rinna looking crazy in different wigs. I mean, she's living her best life. You know, you go, girl. That's the same mother who really got it together.
Yeah. You know what I love about Lisa Rinna? She's not competitive with her daughters at all. Her daughters had breakthroughs as models in fashion. And Lisa Rinna, who's had a big career being famous already, was like, I'm going to do fashion too.
I'm going to upstage my daughters. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it also.
Really glad that you brought up Rinna because I'm wearing a duster today. Yeah. You're welcome. Wow. Here it is. Wow. A three quarter length sleeve. I got it from the girls section of Old Navy because we're in that kind of a timeline now, ladies and gentlemen. All right. Let's go to the duster top. Let's go to the L.A.X. LVP terminal.
It's.
4 a.m welcome to the terminal so this is the vip terminal so this is like the terminal like i guess this is the secret terminal that the celebrities go to where they can just be inserted onto the planes at the last seconds they don't have to stand around with all us normies um so uh they're arriving and everything to it and they're they have like by the way for a vip terminal it doesn't really feel very vip in there it was like you have like some like miss vicky's cookies
And, like, brownie, like, little bags of, like, one of those brownie crisps or whatever, and, like, some Twizzlers. It's like, welcome, celebrities of Los Angeles. We emptied out a vending machine and gave you some items.
Yeah, and it's, like, 4 o'clock in the morning, and I love that Garcelle complains about it. She's like, um, this is Sutton Strack. I thought we were going to fly private. There's going to be valet. We might even see a manly hand or two in the plane to massage us. I mean, jeez. 4 in the morning with a brownie crisp. Thanks, Sutton.
So Kyle arrives and she's like, oh, she's the first one here. And it's funny. And and so, yeah, Garcelle is abhorred about a guest about the fact that there's no private eye. So then they have to fly commercial to Augusta and they do just that.
So they arrive in Augusta and Trixie Monocle's like, no, today goes by.
I don't love where I come from. I come from America.
And we're at the Augusta airport. And Avi's there. And Junebug is off a leash, which. Yeah. Girl. What's going on with that?
I'm just saying that to set you off. Thank you. You know, I love getting set off by this sort of stuff. Like, this is like my favorite. I already had a dog. This is what a great episode for me. I've had a dog rant, a gun rant. Now I get to have a bonus dog rant. Look, I'm not that mad at Junebug. Junebug seems like a pretty good dog, but like it's a public space. And also there's like.
doors that are opening like you don't need that dog running off onto the tarmac okay we this is we've seen this happen so many times like oh flights are delayed because a dog got onto the tarmac and we already have enough issues with freaking birds okay so we don't need dogs
No animals. It's not going to listen to Avi. I mean, I think even the dog knows that's the assistant, you know, because Avi's like, come here. You need to come here right now, little dog. And she's like, bye. And she just literally runs out the door. The next time we see her, she's on a leash.
So, yeah, she she did wind up on a leash. And what was funny about Junebug is like she's wearing some sort of like fringe around her neck, which I thought was so funny. She's like, well, I'm a southern dog now. Yeah, I'm going to the bar later. I'm going to do some country line dance with the other dogs.
Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckas.
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