This is part oneThis week on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Kyle cries about her husband being photographed with a younger woman and somehow not once is the name Morgan Wade brought up. Then the ladies begin a cast trip to St. Lucia where Sutton and Dorit gather troops to fight in the battle of Lush V Poor. You can watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: How does the weather set the tone for the podcast?
Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Braves. I'm Ronnie. That's the gorgeous and talented Ben Mandelker over there on the other screen. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Great. How are you doing today?
Great, it's like a drizzly, rainy day here in LA, which is so fun and relaxing. I went and got myself a bagel and a coffee, and I'm just having a very chill morning. What's going on with you?
It's not drizzly at all. It's beautiful over here in Texas. Yeah, I can see. Yeah, look how sunny it is. Freedom's, but hey, the sun's out, so I guess that's all that really matters at the end of the day. Everyone, welcome to the show. Sun's out and truly guns are out. Yeah. Yes. We are, I'm going to shoot the sun. Some can't decide what is going to be on his passport. I'm going to shoot it.
Chapter 2: What are the upcoming tour dates for Watch What Crappens?
Everybody, welcome to the show. We are on tour. We're going out again tomorrow. We're so excited. Seriously, though, because we're going to have some fun times. We're going to be in Cincinnati, where we will be recapping Summerhausen. Then, after Cincinnati, guess where we're going to go? Minneapolis. And there, we're going to recap Southern Charm.
And in Toronto, we're going to be covering the classic Real Housewives of New York episode, December, Berkshires County.
I cooked, I cleaned, I made it nice.
That's season eight, episode nine for any of those of you following along. So we're excited to see you guys over there. Get your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. We're also going to be after that in Atlanta, Washington, Philly, Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, and Las Vegas. We're going to add a couple more dates. So check back over at watchwhatcrappens.com for tickets and links.
Also, if you want videos or traders recaps or now... Next week, we're going to be moving into other recaps of other things. Probably next week, we're going to be having airport snaps, which is where we go to airports and judge the fuck out of people sitting in a corner while we record on our iPhones.
So probably the next couple of weeks, we'll have some good old-fashioned airport snaps over on our Patreon. And that's also where you get the videos, which we're on right now. If you want videos and you don't want to pay for Patreon, you can get them a week later for free over at YouTube. Okay.
Nailed it. Yeah. You did a great job. Suck that landing. Ow. It was immersive.
I've got my legs crossed on this like little Ottoman thing I got from the homo goods. And I really, I don't know. I'm too old to maybe cross my legs like that. How am I? Just pull a muscle on your Ottoman. I Tanya Harding to myself. Oh no, not with the Ottoman. Or now there's a new Tanya Harding, that girl who beat somebody over the head with a baton. Did you read that? Yeah. Did not read that.
Who was that? Is she on Bravo? No, she should be. I hope she's on Bravo soon. They were running. She's, I guess, a track person and she had her baton and then someone was passing her and she bonked her on the head with her baton. Good for her. And now she's crying like, why isn't anybody thinking about how I feel? Could you bonk somebody on the head with a baton?
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Chapter 3: What happened on Watch What Happens Live with Dorit?
Damn. That sucks. Like, if you're... Man, you know, even Hawk Tua got her own name. It doesn't even make sense. But like this person can't even. What'd you say? That makes sense. I mean, it makes sense. But I'm saying like as a name, like her name is Hawk Tua. At least this girl could be known as Batonerella. Yeah, give her something. She earned it. Come on. We could do it. The lift is so low.
We were so lazy with naming Hawk Tua that at the very least we can give this aggressive relay racer some sort of fun moniker. That's what I'm saying. I'm advocating for this.
Yeah, I agree. Batonerella. I mean, I don't know. okay so here we are with uh speaking of bonking over the people over the heads for no reason let's go on to a housewives recap today it's real housewives of beverly hills season 14 episode 15 14 15. um trouble in paradise sequences um by the way just before we start this dorit was on watch what happens live last night with gabby
And Dylan, and I don't care. I still can't hate Dylan. I think he's so cute. Like, I don't care. I don't like his last scene in the trailer. He's so cute and nice. Like, I still like him. And Dorit was so depressed. Dorit is just miserable. And I guess I don't blame her. I'm like, she's poor now, like for real. And PK won't speak to her and stuff.
And she can't, I guess, afford her stylist because she was dressed kind of like a Christmas present.
I don't know.
It was really sad. She was very sad.
Well, you know, you have her, you know, you've got you've got some people who are able to sniff out some traitors and you have someone who was married to one for a long time and still didn't even realize. So, yeah, I'd be depressed, too. Like it could have been me. But we love that Dylan Efron. And by the way, his girlfriend is a big Bravo fan, apparently.
I read that, and one of the many articles that's going around, and she's a big Bravo fan, so we love that he supports Bravo indirectly. I guess that she told him to ally with Ciara. I think I read that fleeting headline. Of course, I couldn't really be bothered to read much more than that, because I'm like... You know, there's nothing else I really need to know.
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Chapter 4: How did Erika's interior design journey conclude?
So Erica lights a candle the second she comes over to the house. I think Erica's house smells like farts. There, I said it. Because I don't trust anybody who lights a candle the second I come over. Open a window, fart outside, like we do in my home. Unless it's Hanukkah. Unless you're what? Unless it's Hanukkah, naturally.
You can't open windows at Hanukkah?
Is that a thing?
No, I'm saying Hanukkah is a big candle lighting holiday for my people. Oh, wow. You guys have a lot of laws. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised. But actually, no, we as Jewish people on Passover, we actually open full fledged doors for Elijah to come in. So like we are definitely.
How's he supposed to knock? What's he supposed to knock on the open door? Elijah's whole thing is knocking, right?
Elijah has a real sense of propriety at the Seder and just comes in. The other thing, growing up, I had a cat named Elijah. And Elijah was an outdoor cat. And for some reason, Elijah was a she, but her name was Elijah. And of course, on Passover, the biggest gag we do every year, we open the door for Elijah, and then Elijah the cat would walk in. And everyone would go, oh, it's Elijah.
God, I love a visual gag.
I had a roommate in New York who changed her name to Elijah. Like she had another name, but she was like, I'm going to go by Elijah now. And we're like, okay. And so whenever she would come home and forget her keys, we would make her sit there and knock. We were like, well, you shouldn't have changed your name. What if it was a vampire? Names have meanings.
Okay. Don't vampires have to knock before they come in?
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Chapter 5: What are the dynamics between Sutton and Dorit?
It's Erica.
I was about to say Eric has a lot of options in her neighborhood and I was like ready to judge. I was like trying to see what the box was. I was like, you know, I want to see what bakery she's pulling from because I will have a lot to say depending on her choices. This could be a redemption moment for her, but it could also be, it could, it could go wrong real quick.
you mean which because you know that was food for less from western okay by the way i miss you food for life i know it's gone it is oh yeah it's it's been bulldozed and it's turning into a whole big tall thing oh yeah and the mcconnell's gone too that was right there that used to be where i would reliably get at mcflurry yeah wow because you know those are usually broken
Yeah, they're always broken. Now they're dead. So, you know, Bose comes in and she's like, she just kind of looks around. And then she doesn't really say much about the house. She's just like, well, this is not necessarily a housewarming gift.
This is a St. Lucia gift. TM. I've trademarked St. Lucia.
And Dorit's like... So then we go back, flashback, and to the fashion show. And Bose was like, I have been inspired by Sutton's call for all of us to bond. So I thought we will all go to St. Lucia. So everyone cheers. And now, so now Dorit is holding up a peach. And a peach. No, she's not holding up a peach. She's holding up a one-piece bathing suit that is the color of a peach.
But knowing her, she's probably holding up a peach. Like, I found a soccer ball. So then Erica.
I could never be a woman. I looked at that thing. It looked like. I mean, it looked like the pasta that Denise Richards tried to make in the Denise Richards episode after this, where she wouldn't rest the dough. She's like, let's pretend the dough's rested. And instead of resting it, she just started putting it through the machine. So it was all these holes. I mean, I could not.
Who looks at that and is like, you know what? I can wear that. I just can't do that. I can't do what I wish.
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Chapter 6: How has Erika Jayne evolved as a housewife?
You said something about the drinking and her having this reaction about her business. Well, I'm sorry, because what about what was done to me? I was like, oh, God, Eric.
What about the argument once again? OK, Erica, call me when Sutton is in like 10 lawsuits, about tens of millions of dollars of stolen money and, you know, throwing people in jail, which they didn't even bring up.
Your lucky ass is lucky they didn't bring up that Marco Marco thing of throwing those guys in jail because you couldn't pay your bill and lied and used one of Tom's best friends to get him thrown in and then get so wasted on pills and booze that they're falling over and falling asleep on boats. Okay, call me when that happens, Erika.
What about me? What about me, Erika Jayne? Who feels more pain than Erika Jayne?
It is the old Jen Shah defense.
And I'll tell you who feels more pain than Erika Jayne. Anyone with ears that are subjected to your songs. Okay? It hurts. That said, I'm really kind of liking Erika this year for the most part.
No, she's doing a great job. Yeah. Erika, like... Erica going through the ringer of this whole Tom Girardi case has actually made her a better housewife because I think that she's just given herself over to be like, oh, fuck it. I tried so hard to sort of have this whole image and I got torn to shreds anyway. So whatever. I'll just say whatever I want.
People are always saying, you know, real housewives ruins these women's lives. I don't know about anybody would go on. I think sometimes, you know, as the butterfly keeps appearing on this show, on this episode, I think a lot of times housewives helps them because it breaks them down. It just breaks them down.
And then they come out a better person, you know, because Erica was a true asshole before all of that happened. And I think she's better, you know, better now.
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