This week on Below Deck Sailing Yacht, there’s a very impressive play. A play about a jellyfish that stung a very complain-y woman. Then it’s a fight over who sleeps less and a once in a lifetime sober night for poor, poor Gary. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Sold on SLC bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Brawls.
Welcome, everybody. I'm Ronnie. And that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good, everybody. Thanks so much for being here. Welcome to Below Deck Sailing Day. We have just announced Dallas, Texas tickets for our tour, our Mounting Hysteria tour, which begins January in San Francisco. So go get your tickets, because guess why?
There's also the Golden Crappies, our yearly award show for all things Bravo, on Broadway this year in New York City. That's going to be so amazing. All of the shows are going to be great. We're so excited to be back on the road. They are a really fun experience, you guys. Go check it out. Get the schedule over at watchwhatcrappens.com. Also, we're on video as usual.
You can find all of our daily videos over on patreon.com. If you don't mind waiting a week, you can get them for free over on YouTube. We ain't here to rob you. Also, bonus episodes right now are sold on SLC Recaps, which is a hilarious new show on Bravo that we are covering exclusively on Patreon. So go check that out. Ben, how has your morning been?
Well, it's been a tremendous morning because we went on to the Jeff Lewis show on Radio Andy. We had such a fun time and we reunited with Leah Black and she is such a riot. The things that she says, the observations she makes, just hilarious. So thanks once again to Jeff, Shane, etc. The whole gang over there for having us back. And it was just wonderful.
And I got to be with you, most importantly, in person. And you got me a croissant. You know, I was on that Jeff Lewis show. Another way to your heart. You know what? All I need is a croissant, and I will pretty much always like you. Like Brynn Whitfield, that's all you have to do. So TLDR, great morning so far. How's your morning going?
Super fun morning, yeah. Fun seeing Leah Black. Leah Black! It's been a while. So it's good to see her. I'm going to go see her a little bit later. And always good to see Jeff and Shane. They're such nice guys. They're so nice to us. My God. Which is so, you know, nice. They are.
They don't have to be, but they are. Such menches. I mean, Jeff really promoted the golden crappies like above and beyond, which was really so kind. And, you know, you didn't have to do that. That was really cool.
Yeah. Super nice. Love them. Go check them out on Sirius XM. And let's get on with the recap.
Here we are on, previously on Blue Dick Sealing Yacht.
Previously, Gary was drunk and Chase is on the boat. That's basically it. And there's a lady named Ronnie who, unlike our Ronnie, she is awful. And she got stung by a jellyfish, which shows that nature, there is karma in nature. And she should have been stung because she was terrible about her coffee. And she continues to be terrible this episode.
And then Daisy outed Danny for, you know, having a high body count, as they would say on SLC. So we are a second day of charter and we're in Ibiza. And Glenn is still all about Ronnie's jellyfish sting. Personally, I hope that jellyfish was like Ronnie and swam away and was like, could have been better. That definitely could have tasted better. Really not great. Could have been better.
Yeah, could have been better. New York Ronnie. Was it great? No. Was it good? No. Was it terrible? No. But it could have been better. Could have been better.
Could have been a better leg to sting. You know, when I sting a leg, I want it to feel like it's good. You know? It's like I want to do an A plus effort. It was just like an okay leg.
It was an okay leg. It's the jellyfish version of Bethany Frankel. you know what? I've had better stings. That's it. You know, I've tried, I've tried, I've tried different legs. I've had better stings. That one wasn't so good. I'm so sorry. If you don't want a bad review, don't send me a leg.
Okay? You know what? It's business. It's nothing personal. But sometimes you got to take a sting off the market if it's not ready yet. Okay? We know one of our listeners, my dear friend, Justin, he just got stung by a jellyfish yesterday. And he posted it on his story. And he was in Thailand. And he's just sitting on the beach. Justinian Wang? Yes. You know, Justinian Wang.
So he, um, Oh, everyone buys book. Um, but he got stung by jellyfish and he's has a video of himself sitting there pouring stuff on it and it looks dreadful, but not gonna, not gonna lie. It's kind of a funny story.
Jellyfish are little bitches. No, I didn't see it. Um, but they are, they're, they're little bitches.
So, um, it's like, it's like, you know what? It's like, not fair that you'd like, you literally have no brain. You do nothing. You have no reactions. You just literally float there. And yet you're also painful. Like, that's not fair. Like be painful, but also have a personality. Yeah, exactly. Of course. Yeah. It's like me do something for it. Like a shark.
you know like a shark will bite you it could kill you but at least it has like eyes and a face and is menacing like they can make a cartoon character out of it you know what i mean yeah like they can draw a shark and be like oh this shark has this personality that one like a jellyfish is just like it's just like a blobby spineless thing like it's literally just like a plastic bag floating in the water that can really fuck you up and it just seems unfair you're a bubbly spit
You know what I mean?
Yeah. And, like, no one's trying to get you. Like, you're just floating.
Literally nobody does anything to a jellyfish.
You are, like, literally invisible. And then you get mad when we run into you. Like, get it together. Grow up.
Yeah. Stop floating. Like, you can't get mad if you're just, like, flop. Like, flop.
Yeah, you're putting zero effort into your existence in the ocean. And then you get mad when someone is actively kicking and trying to go somewhere. And then you're like, wait, no, stop. I'm floating here. No, you don't get to do that jellyfish.
And it's like suddenly you have arm strength. You know what I mean? Because you know that if you ever needed to move, the jellyfish would be like, I'm just a jellyfish. Look, I can't move. I like, I literally can't pick up anything. But then once there's a person nearby, they're like, oh yeah, boom. And suddenly they're the fucking karate kid.
Suddenly it's like, hey, jellyfish, why'd you do that? Sorry, I can't answer. I don't have really a brain or a mouth or eyes, but you have enough of like a brain to sting people. It's like, well, sorry, that's just what I do.
And you know, it tries to answer all of the Jeopardy questions while you're watching it with them. Like, oh, shut up. I thought you didn't have a brain.
Always wrong.
You're always wrong.
Every answer is not Keira Knightley. Why do you keep saying Keira Knightley? She was not a founding father. Why do you keep answering that?
Yeah, and you're just desperate because you want to have Keira Knightley in a question. Is it Keira Knightley? Wait. Oh, no. You have to answer it in an answer, right? Who is Keira Knightley? It got it right once. Who is Keira Knightley? Right. Will Keira Knightley ever call me? No. Stop asking random questions. That's not even the proper form of the question.
Okay, you got it right on one answer said, star of Bend It Like Beckham and later Pirates of the Caribbean. And you're like Keira Knightley. And now you think that's the answer to everything. It's like, you can't just keep floating through Jeopardy the way you float through the ocean. It doesn't work that way.
And then even when you answer Keira Knightley to a math question, at the end you go, oh, I would have gotten that. That was my last, that was my next answer. That was my next answer.
Pythagorean theorem was going to be my next answer. Shut up, Jellyfish. It wasn't. Fuck off, Jellyfish. Like, I've had it with Jellyfish.
Fuck off. Stop your bitching. And hurt people hurt people. Okay, I get it. Who hurt you, Jellyfish? Okay? I bullied people on this show because I went through bullying. Who bullied you? Who bullied you?
And by the way, You literally are spineless. And by the way, to the Portuguese man of war, you're just a fucking jellyfish. Also, don't try to be all fancy with your Portuguese man of war.
No, at least he's trying with a personality though.
Cause he's, he's a man of war, you know, a little toxic masculinity there.
I would, I'd like to add, speaking of, can we please stop gendering war? Because yeah, those fish don't really, they didn't choose. Yeah.
Seriously. Okay. How about your geographic origins don't really matter because you're for war and we are not for war.
Yeah, we're pacifists, you fucking stupid war fish.
That being said, Jellyfish, great aim on Ronnie. Great aim on Ronnie.
Yeah. You know what? Even a broken clock. Broken clocks, et cetera. Okay. So Daisy's apologizing for outing Danny as, you know, hitting on everybody, I guess I should say. So she's like, sorry, I shouldn't have said that then. Try not to get offended. All right then. And she's like, well, I've kind of learned that with this crew in general, even if you're offended, just shut the fuck up anyway.
Right? Right. Right. Poor victim Danny. Poor, poor victim Danny.
but by the way that's what a funny turn of phrase that daisy says daisy basically comes in as like oh well you know about danny she pretty much slept with everyone including a child from the club sorry danny try not to get too offended try not like you i love to get try not to get too offended i'm sorry you want to date danny you're gonna need an app to rent her for a bit it's just like the town bikes you just put her back one just leave it in the street someone will eventually
pick it up like wait a minute is she a lime scooter my god try not to get too offended Danny sorry I shouldn't have said that try not to get too offended it's not her fault for being an asshole it's Danny's fault for always getting offended so she's like well we've got two more weeks and we need to try to enjoy each other and Danny's of course hurt and she's like she's just always finding a way to shit on me
We'll stop acting like a toilet. So then we go to a flashback of Daisy. Basically, Daisy calling out Danny for stringing Keith along. And then Daisy begging Danny to work while she's flirting with Gary. By the way, Daisy going up to Danny while she's flirting with Gary and said... Donnie, we really need your help right now. That is not finding a way to show you.
That's your boss saying, get to work.
That's your boss telling you, you know, if you got time to flirt, you got time to squirt. Okay, now grab some Windex and get over there. Squirt that Windex.
If you've got time to schmooze, you've got polish to lose. As in, lose that polish out of the container and put it on the silverware. I got it.
Miss me with that polish. So... So now...
She sends Ron a three-hour break. Okay, so then we go to the swim platform and, you know, everyone's still gathered around Ronnie, like, secretly cheering on that jellyfish. Jellyfish. And then Daisy and Glenn are discussing the schedule. And then, oh, then we find out that there's this boat procession thing that Captain Glenn really wants him on. He's like...
The procession is at 8.15. We should. We should go in the tender and have a look around. We'll do dinner. I mean, they're going to love it. They are going to love it. I personally love the procession.
Cut to Captain Glenn in an afro. In a black and white.
When I was in the 70s, I would love to go to processions. I would sit in that cave and watch the boats go by. It was wonderful.
So then. Let's see. The guests have requested midnight snacks. So we know it's going to be a long night because this is an Ibiza charter. So they're going to have to deal with, you know, people trying to pretend they're not turning 50, which my friends are doing it every year now. And it just ends awkwardly every time, every single time. Like, why are we doing this?
Nobody wants to be out until six in the morning. Why are we pretending we want this? You know?
I honestly was proud of these women. They really turned up. You know what? They came back late, but we'll get to that. Also, as soon as Glenn says these guys requested midnight snacks, of course, that is like a red flag. Anyone who watches Below Deck knows the moment that midnight snacks are called out is the moment that midnight snacks will not be prepared. So I was actually shocked later on.
there were like a huge amount of midnight snacks i was like what what's happening with this season this is wrong yeah the shark so then diana is opening a bottle of tequila or something and chase passes by her and just reminds us how annoying he is he's like hey you're awesome we love you we love you here doing great go away
And then Gary, she, you know, Diana has her trademark sparkling personality. I'd be like, thank you so much. So then Daisy sees Gara and she's like, Gara, obviously the primary had a shock of a birthday. Maybe you could do something stupid to make them laugh, like kind of clown sketch or something. Just sort of stand in front of them and they'll just laugh at you.
How about that, Gara? I've got an idea for that. How about I get blackout drunk and have sex and then apologize the next day because I don't remember a thing.
all right that could probably work at all so then gary basically tells keith that they're going to be doing some sort of skit and keith is like keith is like what about like a jellyfish reenactment or something uh like a comedy skit and this segues into some very um uninteresting but notable backstory for keith how dare you call this uninteresting this is an amazing backstory
No, it's good, but it's like, because it's Keith, it's like inherently bland, you know? Yeah. But it's like the most exciting his backstory can be. But it's still ultimately a Keith backstory.
Yeah. Well, he's like, well, I can't sing and dance well, but I ended up doing high school's musical. And I do musicals in high school, rather. Sorry. And I'd call it a brief soiree into song and dance. And then we see shots of him. He played Abraham Lincoln. He played Johnny from Dirty Dancing. I mean, you guys, this guy's had a very varied career. His IMDb is huge. Yeah.
And every image of him is like every image you see in your yearbook of people in the drama club where they're like, drama club. And you see them like,
know posing they have a mustache on or like a monocle uh and you know why he's like bored of drama queens doesn't explain a lot like he doesn't fall for danny's because he's been with drama queens he's a theater kid ultimately i mean and you know a straight guy in theater is crazy right and i mean in high school it's less crazy but they get a lot of they get a lot of vajayjay because there's not there's a lot of gays you know and so when you find a straight you jump on it even the gays do even we do you know
So, yeah, and he's used to the drama queens and that's why he is immune to Danny's bullshit, which I think it was a very, very explanatory segment for sure. Yeah.
And he talks about how basically like the drama club parties, the cast parties, etc. And he was like, people would be singing and, you know, they'd be dancing. And it wasn't like orgy debauchery, but it was like one court orgy. Mainly just me. It was like an orgy for one. Is that still an orgy? That's what I had. Well, I was the only one in the orgy, but I played different roles.
So it was sort of still like an orgy because I was performing. It's like a one man play.
So one man Oklahoma, if you will. My one man death of a salesman really, really brought down the house.
It turns out the cow man and the farmer can be friends in an orgy.
So he's like, well, maybe somebody got a handjob, you know. So then Daisy's like, well, we can do that after dinner. But I love that idea.
I love that. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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So then we go over to the leader in the galley and he's like, what are you doing about pizza making? I'm Italian. You're making pizza. And of course, it's like when they get back from the club, they want pizza. Bloody fucking hell. Fresh pizza for five in the morning. Crazy. I'm Italian.
I mean, asking an Italian if they want to make a pizza. That's like asking if the sky is blue. Is the sky blue? Is the tree green? Is the meatball red? Of course I know how to make a pizza.
And Cloyce is like, so do you guys have like your own style of pizza? He's like, oh yeah, North Italy is like a thicker dough.
It's like, Davide, why are you having sex with your pizza dough right now? Oh, you know, I got the married to it. I'm open. I'm open. Men, women, hair blow dryers, dough, pizza dough, whatever it takes. No, a deer. She's my deer. So, meanwhile, Danny and Diana are discussing the night's schedule. I've done that show.
Sorry, I was Rolf.
Sorry, that was a different one. I was all the children, actually. I had a lot of quick changes. I was Rolf, wasn't I?
Rolf always gets laid. I've done Sound of Music so many times, probably like three times. I was going to say four. I think three times I've done it. Every single time Rolf got laid. Well, except one time in high school. I wasn't at the high school, but I was a high school age. It was at the community theater, so there were kids in it, you know, because of Sound of Music.
And Rolf and Liesl were brother and sister in real life, but everyone still thought they were fucking. How fucked up is that? Yeah. I still think they were.
I wouldn't be surprised if they were. These are a few of my favorite things. These are really a few of my favorite things, these stories.
Incest and incest and incest and incest.
It's all incest. Sisters and brothers sleeping in the attic.
Literally every single thing on the list is incest. Incest and incest and incest and incest. The guy's getting a little repetitive. Well, have another sibling for me then.
At least it's her first draft. So that was the original version of the song.
You've got two sisters. Why do you always have to sing about that one? All right, Mum, I'll change it up. Incest and incest. I guess that was my bad. It's still incest, isn't it? All right, well. May I try it? Pizza dough and pizza dough and pizza dough and pizza dough. I had sex one time with a pepperoni pizza with brothers with a pepperoni pizza. And we all did a threesome.
Incest and incest and pizza. I'm incest. You found a way to switch it up, mate. Good for you.
I did have sex with a brown package. With tied. Wasn't one of the favorite things like a brown package and tied up with string? What a low bar.
Brown paper packages tied up in string. That was a low bar.
What a low bar to be a favorite thing. I mean, crisp apple strudels was good. That's great. Raindrops and roses, fine. A little whimsical. But brown paper packages tied up in string.
Whiskers on kittens is good. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. She goes into the UPS store and she's like, oh, yeah. These are a few of those things that I masturbate over. Brown paper packages, instruments, and an incest. Is there a pizza dough in the brown paper packages? Literally everybody has turned this off.
And I love it for you.
I love it for you guys.
Okay, so. I'll tell you who does not have a favorite thing is jellyfish. They're like, I don't know. Legs.
Legs. Random legs. Just like legs. That's their whole thing. No one really on this show can make a good multi-lyric song for that version of that song. Okay, so legs and legs and legs and legs, legs. It's like jellyfish. Come on, jellyfish.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, Gary, you have to name something. It's like, well, my favorite thing is blah, blah, blah.
So in Crewmas, Danny and Deanna are discussing the night's schedule with Daisy. So Deanna's like, so you'll have three hours of break? No. She's like, yeah, because I'm going to be awake till five until they get back in at least, so I have to stay up till five. So Daisy, am I correct in saying I have to stay up till five? And she's like, no, you'll probably be down about two.
And then Deanna, you can go up at five serving snacks, and then when I get off, you go back to bed. She's like, but you just got a three-hour break.
So Diana's complaining that Daisy got a three-hour break or that Danny just had a three-hour break. So she's complaining that Danny got a three-hour break and then gets to be off work early at 2 a.m., right? Is that what I'm to gather from this?
Yes. She's mad that she has to wake up early in the morning to serve them at 5 in the morning when she didn't get the three-hour break like Danny.
Right, and Daisy's like, well, Diana's reaction's really over the top. I've worked seasons where I've had five hours of sleep the whole season. I love Daisy saying that Diana's over the top, and she's like, I spent six weeks sleeping one minute a day. One minute a day.
I literally, literally built this boat with these hands.
I didn't go to sleep the entire time. Just spent six weeks doing crack cocaine every single day until I got the job done. So stop trying to exaggerate things.
So Daisy's like, I got to the position I'm in now by doing what I was told with a smile on my face. You did not. There is no proof of that. I don't think there's a witness in history who would say, you know, do you remember working with Daisy on that boat? God, remember how she just smiled and did everything without a complaint? Oh, you mean, I like to call her Smile on Her Face Daisy.
Of course, yes. Smile on Her Face Daisy. She's like, these girls aren't going to progress in yachting. They're not going to progress in any of their careers if they don't adjust their attitude.
If you got time for a break, you got time to take plates off the table.
If you've got time for a peep, you don't need time to sleep. That's what I say. That was pizza making. And they're doing great. They're doing great. Fucking car alarm. Really? In 2024? Are we still doing that?
Well, it's the most useful piece of technology. Think of all the cars that have been saved from being stolen by car alarms.
Think of how many cars have had baseball bats taken to them just because the car alarm went off. And people are like, fuck off!
I'm out of with you! I'm out of!
so um daisy is gonna go take a drink order so meanwhile diana and danny are gonna complain diana's like tomorrow i'm going to be fucking tired i'm annoyed like i've been working for three hours straight oh yeah three hours straight i'm so sorry that you work for three hours straight that must be so hard on you I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, Diana.
Diana, you know, because Danny is such a brat and has taken up most of the attention for the season, we really haven't had enough time to just shit on Diana. But Diana's really worked her way up. Diana's made shitty drinks, and then she complains that she doesn't get put on drink service. And then when she's given the opportunity to improve her drinks, she makes one drink.
She's like, that's too much for me. And she has kind of a shitty attitude around the boat in general. And she says, I'm shy. It's like, no, you've got a shitty attitude. And now you're complaining that you've worked for three hours straight.
you know what enough yeah but you know i think it's rough to hear that the person that you like is being making out with somebody else or flirting with somebody else and then that person gets three hour breaks you know i mean i know they all kind of get three hour breaks but sometimes i'm on her side but then other times yeah other times i'm generally on her side but also like like better people too like you wouldn't be in the situation if you had a higher standard than chase yeah exactly
So then she's all pissy. And then Daisy is now talking to Chloe about lemon sorbet we made to make tequila. And then Keith is asking Sarah about the jellyfish sting. And she's like, I'm still going to dance, baby.
I'm Sarah. Just because I'm 50 doesn't mean I'll not dance after a jellyfish swing, a sting. Fuck those jellyfish. Girls, I'm back and I'm 50. 50 years old.
I'm 50. So Daisy is in her cabin. I get stung, and then I kick you in. And I kick. I'm 50. So Daisy goes into her cabin to change, and Gary's in there. And she's like, oh, Gary, I love sharing a cabin with you for so many reasons. But I think my all-time favorite thing is that I don't have to share a bathroom with anyone. Except you do take a lot of shits. I think you're lactose intolerant.
That's not normal.
But you do have to share bathrooms with him because he takes a lot of poops. Does she just mean with makeup and stuff? I think that's what she means. I think he means he just poops and leaves, but then girls sit there and do all their makeup and stuff like that. So then Gary's like, no relationship, doctor.
But I feel the chemistry that I have with Daisy is like a chemistry where you have with your best friend. And I think ideally if you marry somebody, you have to marry somebody who's like your best friend. Because when you go fuck around on your best friend, your best friend says, good job, mate. Yell at you, scream at you, call you lactose intolerant. They flush the toilet.
That's what they do for you.
um so meanwhile danny is making a tablescape um and she's saying that she's overwhelmed i mean this is your art danny how could you be overwhelmed by it yeah no kidding she what do you it's like uh chapel roan i'm like so overwhelmed she's like please don't talk to me while i'm working
It's my art. When I'm at work, I'm at work. She's like taking it way too seriously. She's chapel grown.
So Danny and Diana are like, they're like, I don't even know it. Studio 54 is bro. She's like me neither, which I'm like, I'm embarrassed for you all. Okay. Cause you should know. I mean, we know we were not part of studio 54. So hello. Yeah.
so then meanwhile daisy's checking into glenn about tender there's just sort of stuff happening and the guests are like they're getting uh they're gonna prepare to get on the tender because they want to go see the um to go see the procession but first ronnie is uh taking a look at the decor that danny is doing her art i should say ronnie is looking at danny's art And then she's like, gold?
Oh, God. You put that in there putting black? No, I don't want black. No. No black. I can't. I can't. Sorry. I don't like black. I mean, gold and black. I mean, gold and black, that's basically like over the hill colors. That's like your dead colors. Like, oh, no. Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, disgusting.
Yeah, you know, like black and gold.
It's like when you go to Walgreens and it says, over the hill, it's black and gold. Like, what is this, a Walgreens? Oh, God. I mean, what are the colors? Gold and black. Thanks, Walgreens. No, fuck that. I don't want to look old. honey, what do you think you look like right now? You're literally complaining to the manager over and over again.
You're the lady who won't leave the customer service line. You don't have a receipt and you're going to sit there and try and return some shit that was like five, you know, five years old and dirty. Okay. And you're yelling, pulling up the line about how young and youthful you, you sound girl.
Um, lady, don't complain about like, quote unquote, turning old and then go onto national TV to celebrate turning 50. It's like, what do you want? You want, it's like, do you want to either turn, you want to turn 50 or do you not want to turn 50? Like, cause you didn't have to come on TV and advertise to all the nation that you're turning 50. Okay. So relax.
Yeah.
So, uh, black and gold, by the way, black and gold. Does not. For the record, it does not mean you're over the hill. There's no connotation of that. You don't go into Walgreens and see black and gold and say you're over the hill. I don't know what this lady is on about. I don't know where this death spiral came from. I don't know.
And by the way, I do want to thank her friend who put that into her head. Because you know her friend is fucking with her. Like, let's fuck with Ronnie and tell her that black and gold means you're, like, decrepit. Because... She just got this notion out of nowhere and is, like, forcing it on everyone. And this is supposed to be a Studio 54 party.
Black and gold is probably the most appropriate colors you could use for a Studio 54 party.
No, because what Dani is doing, she's doing that, like, you're over the hill of, like, a funeral type of thing.
you know how people do that usually it's when people turn 40 though so i will say that is that is not i know danny's part because she's doing i think what she's doing is that 40 year old thing where it's like oh it's like a funeral everybody pretends it's a funeral like you're getting old and then people were black and it's like funny because you're like 40 which is really old but then when you hit 50 you really are like oh my god i'm old i'm old like i'm officially older now like i'm an older person and then so when someone's like haha you're a funeral it's like girl i
I had a heart attack this month. You can't throw me a pretend. It's not funny anymore. It's not a decade ago.
I honestly like studio 54. Like I'm just looking at pictures of it. There's like a big 50. Okay. The colors for studio 54 are black and gold. Okay. It's black and gold. The sign is gold. This lady cannot request a studio 54 party and then get mad at the studio 54 colors that are put out there.
I don't care what Danny, whatever, what you can read all you want into black, but this is the studio 54 colors. And this lady is an idiot. I'll say it right now.
She's very upset.
I'm mad at everything today.
She probably likes brown paper packages too. She literally will not stop bitching about it because they're like, okay, sorry, we'll change it. I mean, gold, white, rose gold. That would have nailed it, right? Ronnie, go away. Go away with your stupid stinging leg, okay? Nobody wants to hear it.
Rose gold literally nails nothing ever. I'm sorry. It doesn't, okay?
So you don't want to look old, so you want a child's color. She's like, you know what would have made this? Pink. That's what that would have done it.
Oh, God.
Go back to bed, weird Barbie.
So now they're going to go on their thing. And so they're going to go watch this procession and get on the boat. And Glenn's telling us, as sailors, because the sea can be dangerous, it's always good to have a patron saint like St. Carmen looking out for you. So this ceremony is all about asking for her protection when we venture out on the high seas. I'm like, it's not...
It's not when you venture out on the high seas. It's for all the other boats that have to share a sea with Parsifal II, knowing that boat's probably going to come crashing into them any second. They're like, please, patron saint Carmen, please save us from Parsifal II careening into our bow.
As sailors, the seas can be dangerous for literally everybody around us. So we need Saint Carmen, you know, and it's great. She's a patron saint. I don't know if I believe in that stuff, but here's what I do know. Sure seems to turn mermaids on.
I love mermaids. So then Daisy's checking in on the decorating and Danny's like, oh, it's not good here. She says she hates black. So we've got to change all of these black decorations.
Is she drunk? She's like, no, but she says it makes her look old. The truth hits, bitch. I'm like, okay. So now the ladies get on the boat.
She's such a child. It makes me laugh.
She is. She really is. And so now the ladies get on to the boat for the tender to go to the procession and everything. And they're like riding up there, right up to like a barge or like a ferry. And I was like, wow, great procession, guys. Enjoy watching the ferry go by. And there's like a St. Carmen on the front of the ferry, but they can't find it because there are a lot of people.
So now Ronnie starts to, she starts to Karen out. Sorry, I shouldn't say Karen, but she starts to, you know, Trishel out on the boat, on the ferry. She's like, excuse me, can you move over? We're trying to see St. Carmen. Excuse me. I'm like, lady, They're on a ferry. They're not listening to you.
Jellyfish sting survivor here. Please move out of the way. You're basically standing in a handicapped spot. Oh, God.
This woman. Could you imagine being on a ferry and a dinky little boat pulls up and says, excuse me, can you move to the side, please?
I'm throwing my cup at her. So then some people move and we see they circle on screen the statue that everybody's clamoring to see. And it basically looks like one of those plaster of Paris pirate people that you see when you go into the Long John Silvers back in the day. You remember those?
Yeah. It's like that are holding the menus.
It's like, take a menu or whatever.
Poor pirate reduced down to holding menus. Well, I've seen some crazy things in my day. I traveled the Emerald Isles and I went down to the Caribbean and I battled the Kraken.
And now I hold menus. Please take a seat. I've been to a lot of places, but have I ever been to me? Arrgh. Don't forget to check out the special appetizers.
Two for one crab leg deal between 5 and 6 p.m. Enjoy.
We went and did this radio show this morning, and I just came in and jumped right on here and got to doing this. I didn't even have time to take off my pants and my shoes. I mean, I'm working like a professional in here. I'm wearing nice shoes. I'm wearing pants, like real pants, not jogging pants. I just wanted to update everybody on my vibe today.
Take a load off.
I'm taking my shoes off. God, my life has just changed. You know, you take one shoe off. Oh, my God. It does something to me.
What a difference. Yes.
What a difference a shoe makes. God. God bless it. My feet are free. Free.
Okay, where were we? Pirates. We're talking about like the debasement of a pirate holding menus at a long time.
Okay, so now we're back on the yacht and Daisy is talking to Cloyce and she's like, are you getting up the food for the morning? I'm worried about your time and I need it to be this. I need it to be that. I need it. He's like, please stop talking to me. You're giving me a boner.
So anyway, they're still enjoying this procession on the tender. And then back on deck, Dani is like moping because she doesn't like the new decor, which is yellow and white. And she's like, oh, it looked so cool before. Now it just looks so shitty. It's like, okay. Just move on.
It's just as dollar store as it was before. You're fine. Your mediocrity is consistent. Okay. Yes. Yes. So then, Tammy, you know, the people are like, oh, my God, they come back to the boat after this lackluster moment.
and then i'm sorry we forgot to mention by the way we forgot to mention the most important moment of all this while ronnie was going on and on she's like i hate black it's like a funeral i mean it's just black you don't black is stupid i don't want to see it it's ugly it's trash she's wearing a black top while she says this even her friend points it out like ronnie you're wearing black right now she's like well it's fine if it's on me shut up shut the fuck up ronnie
Yeah.
So she's like, oh, look, it's Studio 50. That's hilarious. And you guys, you guys missed it. It's 45, not 50.
Like, oh, my God, please let this day end so we can stop pretending to like Ronnie. I know.
They're poor friends. So Daisy and Cloyce are going over the menu and Cloyce is like... Last night I had some communication issues with Daisy and the chief and the stew... The chief stew and the chef relationship is a little bit like marriage. You have to adapt to each other's differences to overcome, to accomplish whatever the mission is. Happy wife, happy life, as they say.
sounds like he was being choked out so then a toddler chase is like so dude tell me about the time of night to go out man like you guys got do you guys go clubbing you go dancing and shit or what do you do because i'm here i'm here at fun cares He's like, it's about nights of fun. And he's like, well, do you get wasted? He's like, bro, I like fucked up.
And my mouth gets worse when I've had a few drinks and I've offended a few people.
So I think that maybe I'm not going to anymore. He just segues into I'm just a gigolo.
Every season, at least once a season for Gary, we segue into that stupid song.
I wonder, you know, there's been talk, scuttlebutt, that the season was re-edited after Gary's allegations, yada yada. And I wonder if there was something more significant that happened in terms of him offending someone or basically doing something gross or pervy. I think so. After he got wasted. Because, like, last time he got drunk, there was, like, the bloody issue, but...
This is, like, he's never felt the need to stop drinking, which makes me think there was something.
He's really pulling the victim card on this episode. So I don't know what happened, but it was something bad. Because for him to be like, oh, now I think I have a problem. Like, when you do that, you've really fucked up. So they edited out whatever the fuck this was. And I think you're right. I'm curious as to what it was.
Because the sexual harassment allegation was, I believe, after they shot, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
Or was it during the season? I believe that this... No, because it was a... I don't know. I don't know, to be honest, but I feel like something happened that we didn't see, whether it happened off camera or... Yeah, because nobody on Bravo wastes that moment.
You know, because that moment where you're like, I might have a problem, that's like a huge... And sorry to sound so cynical, but we've seen it so many times on these shows. That's when you've really fucked up. Like, you've almost gotten fired. You've almost... You've lost everything. Like, James Kennedy, for example. Like, he got... Fired from Sir. He was not going to be on the show.
Nobody would hang out with him. They were trying to keep him out of the group. And then he was like, okay, now I just have ice cream instead of drugs. And I'm happy. I'm happy, guys. I'm happy. And he tried that shit. But it was, like, really a dramatic thing that got him there. So, yeah, I think you're right. Something happened here.
Because they're really overdoing it with this, like, oh, poor Gary. Look at him. He just wants to change. Yeah.
yeah yeah which clearly i don't believe for two seconds so we suspect we we officially suspect here comes one right now
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So now Diana and Cloyce are in the galley talking about the night ahead and everything and saying it's going to be a long one and everything. And Cloyce is like, yeah, it's going to be a long one. And Diana's like, don't say that. Do you know what time I have to wake up tomorrow morning? 8 a.m. is disgusting. I can't believe I can only get eight hours sleep tonight on the boat. I am furious.
He's like, probably same as me, right? She's like, well, like five. It's not even eight hours. What time are you waking up? He's like, oh, come on, later than five. Come on.
So at this point, she still thinks she's waking up at five. Yeah.
Yeah. So then now the guests come back for dinner. They arrive for dinner and they're all in Elton John glasses. It's Studio 54. And Ronnie's like, I'm just wanting you now. It's tequila night.
Oh, God, she's the worst. So now the guests, they all sit down and Daisy's like, every time I'm going into a meal with Klaus, I mean, it's like a bloody roller coaster. I'm just praying. Please let this be a good meal. Please let this be a good meal. Try not to be offended, girls.
I think he's done pretty good overall, right? Well, I think that one should be traumatized.
well i mean once he he had that like low point and then he got a talking to and then he's really he's pulled up a lot and everything he's served has looked actually really good i think the issue has just been there's been there's been the timing stuff but like honestly we've seen much worse when it comes to chefs and timing yeah we sure have so um down at the galley gary is uh galloping around like a horse or i don't know who cares i'm skipping that part
So then later, Daisy is radioing Cloyce. She's like, we're clearing now. We've picked up a plate. Cloyce, Cloyce, Daisy, Daisy, I'm walking with the plate right to the stair. Cloyce, Cloyce, Daisy, Daisy, I've gone down two steps. Cloyce, Cloyce, Daisy, just your daily reminder to stop being such a pussy.
What are you doing, Cloyce? Oh, that's my way of saying 10-4 or copy. It's Morse code. That was a Ben laugh. That was not a Khalees laugh. Because now I'm laughing like Khalees, apparently. So now it's time. They bring out the cake, birthday cake and everything. And now it's time for the big skit. I have to say, we've seen a lot of stupid-ass skits on Below Deck over the years.
I actually quite enjoyed this one. I feel like Keith did good work curating this. He came out with a little script and he read it. And Gary was dressed up like Ronnie. And at first you could see Ronnie was mad. He was like, this is offensive. I don't look like that. I'm not over the hill. Who said that? What?
But then it was, it wound up being funny and chase came out like a jellyfish and they had like a little, a little thing and, you know, sort of into it.
Yeah. Well, that's good. I don't, I don't know what to say. You don't have to say anything.
You just have to say yes, Ben. You're totally right. You're correct. And the Tony and the Tony for best original play on a, on a yacht goes to, Well, unfortunately, it goes to Edward Albee. Unfortunately, there was another production happening same night on a different yacht. Sorry.
And Albee still wins it. On a different yacht. I love that it's Edward Albee, too. He's like, wait a minute. I did that in high school. Damn it.
Who's afraid of jellyfish wolf?
Yeah. So the lady's like, oh, my God, that was a good skit. And they loved it. It's really long, by the way. I'm still scrolling through it. If anyone's wondering, wow, Ronnie sure disappeared from this. It's because I'm reading the book that is this. That was a skit. I mean, he really did it.
It was long. When he showed it. Yeah, sorry.
Well, I mean, look, it's a show. What is it supposed to be? Five minutes? You know, you got to understand.
No, but when he showed his script, when he showed his script, it was like a page of single, like single space text. I was like, that's going to be a long skit, sir.
Yeah. Agreed. So then they, Daisy sends Deanna to bed and she's like, you can get back up at 8.15. And she goes, but wait, I thought you said five. And she's like, well, if you let me finish the conversation, now I'm going to get up tomorrow. She's like, I can get up. She's like, no, no, no. You made it very clear how you feel about that.
She's like, I'll take your passive aggression and I'll raise you 20 with a smile on my face because that's what I got here. This is aggressive aggression. Enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah, Daisy's like, Diana has this entitlement of like, why do I have to do this? Like, that's your job. And I also want to show her that I'm willing to do it. And what I ask people to do, I will do.
So that being said, I'm fucking pissed.
I've agreed to do it because I like feeling pissed and nothing has really pissed me off to this level yet, sir. I've had to create it for myself.
Yeah, that's actually true. And Daisy's like, she's like, well, I would have let you go for a nap tomorrow, but now I'm going to be getting very little sleep. I get the nap now.
So Diana's like, bullshit. This is, I was going to do it. She's just trying to be a mugger. And then the producer's like, well, but then if you were going to do it, why did you complain about it? What kind of stupid question is that? I do shit all day that I complain about all day. So what? I literally make a list before I go to bed of things that I have to do the next day.
And then all night I'm like, I'm so mad about my list. That's life. That's how I get through the day. Okay.
So I'm trying to take away my tent poles. But if you had a boss of yourself, you wouldn't be able to complain to your boss. The point is you complain behind the boss's back. Don't complain to the boss the moment they tell you something. That's where Diana goes wrong. And by the way, Daisy is being a martyr here, a total martyr, but in the service of passive aggression, which is always fun.
But I guess that is what being a martyr is all about anyway. It's like the ultimate passive aggressive act.
Well, it's also service, right? Like if you're a good server, you're ultimately a good martyr. Yeah. It's like, oh, your meal was fucked up? Okay, I'm not going to throw the chef under the bus, even though it was totally their fault. You know, it was me. Self-flagellation, you know?
Yeah. So I guess maybe when you advertise that you're a martyr, that's when it becomes passive aggressive. So you just sort of do that.
Well, don't tell Jesus that. My God, he's built a whole religion. He's like the biggest martyr in the world. It's like, what are you going to do? Take away Christianity? Come on. But he didn't like summon everyone over to his cave, right? Like he kind of did. Wasn't he like floating up in the sky? He's like, guys, just got myself out of an unsealed cave. My last magic trick for a while.
See you when I see you.
I love caves. So cut to a black and white photo of Glenn with an afro. With Jesus standing behind him, like giving a thumbs up. Yeah, we spent a lot of time in caves. And one day this guy just sort of woke up out of nowhere. We thought, oh my God, where'd this guy come from?
The whole religion started. so i mean so i hear i'm jewish it makes no sense to me so diana's like she's like um well even though i'm doing great job like doing the job it doesn't make it right they just make me feel like i'm doing this huge favor basically she just is like i reserve the right to complain so diana um now she's now she's pacing and she's being very dramatic like
And she's like doing that thing where she's like ragefully cleaning little glasses and stuff. She's waiting for someone, someone, someone. What's wrong with me? She's waiting for someone to ask her what's going on. So then Diana does. I mean, Danny does. And it's like, oh, she said that you gave me altitude and you didn't let me finish. And Danny's like, what the fuck?
Like, what are you guys going to overthrow Daisy? Daisy does everything. She's so nice to you losers. Yeah.
So then Glenn tells the guests... They basically said the attendant will be ready to take them to the island and everything. And now the pizza dough... They're checking on the pizza dough. Davide did a good job with the pizza dough. And then now the guests are getting ready to go out and everything. There's a lot of stuff going back and forth. So anyway, the guests finally...
I guess finally go to go to the club and they go out there and they're out there all night. Like they're out there until like they come back at five or six in the morning. I didn't realize all this talk about waking up at five. I thought that meant for breakfast service. It was I didn't realize it was to receive the guests coming back from partying.
Yeah, they literally party all night and are served at five in the morning.
So then... And by the way, during all this process, this is when the producers get to say, fuck you to the stews, because the producer starts pointing out how much sleep everyone has gotten. And everyone's like on three hours, like Daisy, three hours. Cloyce, four hours. Keith, zero hours. They're just like building a case against Danny and Diana. Yeah.
So Daisy's like, I can't be bothered with that shit fucking nightclub crap.
Which is so funny because you see all the shit that they're going through.
So Daisy. So they come back and now it's time to eat. So they're being served and they're eating it, but they're so tired, you know. So then there's mac and cheese, there's quesadillas. I mean, this is good drunk food. I have to give the Kloisy Kloys credit.
Cloyce went above and beyond because on other boats, like the last season on below deck med, it's like pre-making some like cold sandwiches or like some sad, like flat breads. Like this was proper, got back from the club and I want to eat some carbs and go to sleep.
I hate, this was great. Yes, it really was. And so they go to bed and then it's the last day of charter. And now we see how much sleep everybody got. Diana got eight hours, eight hours of sleep. Crazy. Meanwhile, Daisy's nodding off on the juicer after her four hours. And it says, Keith, zero hours of sleep.
Yeah. So Daisy's talking to Keith and she's like, I'll be back in a second. But think about what, think about tonight and what's not going to be. And he's like, I don't know. I'm just going to have fun. And anybody want to get on the fun team with me? We're going to go on a fun jam. It's like, that sounds fun. Real fun there, Keith.
So then Daisy's like, well, I'm the one who's never been caught in any drama. A little bit with Gary, but that's just because it's been long, long time. He's like, yeah, that's true. Well, you know, as we say in the sound of music, brown paper packages tied up in string. Am I right? What the fuck are you talking about, mate?
He's like, I love Gary. He just needs to know how to dial back the phone. And I think Daisy needs someone a bit more mature, you know? Uh-huh. And then we cut to a shot of Gary peeing in the bathroom. With the door open.
You know who everybody wants to date? Somebody who says things like, I think we just need to learn to dial back the phone. That's what we need.
Yeah. So, yeah, Gary is peeing and everything. Glenn, it's people are waking up because the guests are waking up at 10 a.m. And then we also even the guests get a chyron that says slept three hours. Literally everyone on this boat has not had more than five hours of sleep except for the two students who complained.
Yep. So then, Danny serves her, and Daisy's asking what Ronnie's mood is. And Danny's like, oh, I'm afraid of her. She's like, yeah, she's scary. I was saying she gives me, like, PTSD with my stepmom. Because, you know, no matter what you do, nothing is good enough. You can't ever please the woman. Danny, do that better. Please. What are you, a fool? Try not to be offended. You lazy bitch.
And Dami does her best to not say, like you. So then now it's time to pack. They dock. And now Chase is in the wheelhouse flirting poorly with Diana. He's really trying to flirt with Diana. So he's like, so, where are you going to go back when this is all done, huh, tits? And she's like, Portugal. Oh, cool. Great. That's the thing. Like in Portugal, there's almost no yachties.
So you make friends, you know. And then I don't see them for two years. Yeah, it's a tough industry because, you know, you make good friends and then, you know, like you basically live with people, right? And then you don't see people. Yes, it's what I just said. Yeah. Still hot because there's nobody else here.
So. So then Chase talks about how he, you know, he's like, I think there's more to Diana than meets the eye, you know, and I haven't been in a serious relationship for some time. I briefly dated, you know, Chef Nelisha, but she lives in Sydney and I live in Charleston. It just didn't work out. And I came into the season looking, not looking, I mean, looking for a boatman, but Diana's stunning.
So I'm excited to see what happens. I need to work on my glutes. Well, whatever it is.
so then um danny and diana are oh so then of course danny gets smells it in the water that her man is being flirted with so she immediately starts coming up and asking a million questions to disrupt them so she's like have you seen that little knife like my knife the tiny knife that i wouldn't be using to stab anybody right now if i hit it
Yes, it's in the drawer. Thank you so much. And like three seconds later, by the way, does anyone remember where the bathroom is on this boat? I just can't seem to find it. Chase, can you show me how to get to the bathroom?
So Tiana's like, I skip arm day. Okay, look at that. Actually, no, it's pretty good. It's like, whoa, which way did the gun... Oh, excuse me. Guys, so sorry about that. I lost the knife in the bathroom. Can you open the bathroom door to see if the knife is still in there?
Guys, I'm really sorry, but there's this little round thing on the door and I don't know how to use it. Chase, can you show me how to use it? You mean the doorknob? Yeah, I keep pushing it. It's not working. Oh, you got to twist it. Can you just show me? Thank you so much.
All right. You guys go ahead. I don't want to bother you. Okay. So anyway, here is my guns. By the way, has anybody seen the knife in the bathroom with my glutes? I've lost my glutes. Has anybody seen anything that can help me out here?
She's so awful. She really is. So, and of course, you know, Diana is just like scowling as Chase goes off with Danny to help slice fruit and stuff. So then now the guests leave. They give, you know, Ronnie gives her a little spiel. She gives the tip. Glenn does the thing. He honks the horn and everything. And then we have Diana and Chase, you know, talking.
He like kind of like rests his head on her shoulder. He's like, I'm sleepy, you know. And, you know, for a moment I thought like, oh, this is kind of nice. Maybe he is starting to move over to Diana, which would make Danny so mad. I was really hoping for that.
It seems like he's at least trying it on. Right. And, but like most men, especially on this show, he's just going to go with whatever's easiest. You know what I mean? And she's not as easy. And I don't mean like, you know, loose wise, like she wouldn't easy girl. I don't mean like that. I just mean it's, you know, she's not as conversational and like, she doesn't make it as easy, you know? Yeah.
Diana's more of a hard nut to crack. Right. And Danny's like a bowl of nuts. It's already been cracked and salted and roasted. She is full on peanut butter.
There's no work involved.
It's not even crunchy. It's smoothie jam. Just swallow it if you need it.
So then Daisy is now talking to Deanna and she's like, what? Oh, she's talking to both the girls and about how the charter was. And Deanna's like, well, it was crazy, but we managed, you know, I mean, it was fine. And then Daisy's like, well, we need a system because when I say things and it doesn't get done, I get annoyed with it. I really do, girls. Man, here's what I need.
And Deanna's like, well, I mean, but I understood I was going to finish at midnight, sleep till five, which is not ever five because you have to wake up earlier. And she's like, I know, I know. Well, I got fuck all sleep last night. It's just the attitude in the moment that you gave me, you know?
And I know all my decisions don't always make sense, but there's actually thought behind it, believe it or not.
You know, like being friends with Gary. And Diana's like, sometimes. Like, oh, okay. Well, I'll pretend like I didn't hear that. Anyway, go clean up. So now it's time for the tip meeting time. And Glenn's like...
Well, everyone, unfortunately, the primary got attacked by a jellyfish. But, you know, way to go handling the jellyfish sting and especially the apology performance, which was phenomenal. It was like the cave of performances. And Gary, overall, the deck team seems to be really gelling. See what I did there? Gelling. We're working quite well together.
Chase is like, wow, so good to be back here. Thanks for the compliment, buddy. God, I miss this couch. This is the money couch. Which is funny because I think that's a J.D. Vance quote, which is odd. So then Gary's like, you're doing great. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, we're actually very, very glad to see you somewhere. And I was just like, well, thanks a lot.
Don't really even need to be there to be this, do I? I mean, you can still get me all the way over here. You must feel so powerful right now.
Well, Emma still hasn't made it to shore because on the tender ride over, she's like, hold on. Can we just take a cigarette break real quickly? Hold on. Hold on one sec. She's just taking cigarette breaks and napping. Are you ready to go to shore yet? Not yet.
I'm exhausted. Please. So now Chase is doing bicep flexes. And Danny's pretending to ignore him. And they ended up making $24,000, which is pretty good, right?
Jeez. Yeah. Even this miserable primary still tipped more than Dr. Contessa, I'd like to point out. Dr. Contessa, I think, still has the lowest tip of the season. Yeah, of all time, I think. Ever.
Has there been a lower tip than that?
Yeah, there has been. There definitely have. Remember Charles, that guy Charles, and Erica, Rose. There have been some low tippers, for sure.
So then now everybody gets ready to go out tonight. And Daisy and Gary are talking, making small talk. And Gary's saying, oh, I'm not going to drink tonight. Yeah. You know, listen, then just don't drink. But when you go and make it like this is how I know he's not sincere with wanting to turn over any leaf because he's making it like, look, everybody, I'm not going to be drinking tonight.
I hope we're all happy.
Poor, poor Gary. Like you have to make a huge fucking song and dance out of it. Just don't have a drink, bro. So you're not going to drink for the rest of the season, Gara?
And he's like, yeah, pretty much, because every time I drink, I think I offend people, and that's just not what I want to do. I'm a little angel boy, blah, blah. It's like, I think I am very different when I drink. I don't think alcohol is my friend. I do it as an escape, I guess, but maybe I do it just because everybody else is drinking, and I don't want to feel left out. I'm a damaged person.
Oh, I feel bad for Gary.
Oh, poor Gary, poor Gary. And so this is like, well, I'm fully behind this if he really wants to stop drinking. But it's basically the Emma storylines in it.
It's not going to last very long.
So Gary's like, yeah.
I'm going to take some time off and reflect where I want to move forward with my life and whether I'm going to let LK who can turn my life because right now I'm just feeling it.
Shut up. I do not believe one thing he's saying. I don't believe it.
No. Daisy's like, honestly, I'd be surprised if he makes it to dinner. What I'm trying to say is he's a full-blown alcoholic. Ooh, full-blown alcoholic like BK. So Gary, Gary is going to be trying this out. So now everyone gets ready to go out Davide. I don't know what was going on with that sleeveless shirt he was wearing, but he's getting more comfortable between that and his flat iron hair.
I just don't know what to say. You know what? Bravo to personal style.
Not giving a fuck. Choices. Yeah, seriously. Choices. So then Chase is like, whoa, you look like Siegfried and Roy. Jeez. Are you taming tigers? And he's like, mazambique. Yeah, let's all do these.
Mosaic chic, huh? So then there's more flirting with Diana, Chase and Diana. And he's asking her about her tattoo. She has a tattoo on her arm of her and her grandpa. And he's like, you and your grandpa! And she's like... Yeah, basically she got it after he died, and it was nice. He's like, aw. And Diana's like, Chase is hot and nice, but I usually date people that end up treating me like shit.
So, you know, my last boyfriend was a bit of narcissist, and when we broke up four years ago, I just put up huge walls so I could protect myself. I mean, admittedly, last boyfriend was Putin, but, you know, he is all about himself, and it's hard to date someone like that.
He literally just blew down the wall. Yeah. He took tank and blew down over it. I had to keep building wall. My arm was so tired by end. I said, I can't have another relationship.
But I'm still guarded. But Chase doesn't seem like a fuck boy. Just a guy who's really annoying with bad tattoos. And at this point, I'm ready to be treated like a human.
Oh, my God. His tattoos are just wow. I do not remember how bad his tattoos were. Did you? I did.
No, I didn't. You know what? I'm lying. I didn't remember until he showed up. I didn't remember. Oh, yeah. He's got the bad tattoos.
They are thirsty tattoos. Those are some serious... Because it's like the Harry Styles thing, but it's... What are the eagle wings or something on his chest? I don't love the tattoo on the pecs. I just feel like... That's the Harry Styles, right? Well, I think his are right below his...
Yeah, either way. It's just I feel like pecs are such a sexy like part of a man. And like I just feel like putting like a big old stamp on it. I just feel like you're ruining it a little bit.
One is just something like you don't understand age or aging because when you put like eagle wings on it, for example, as you age and start to sag, it's just like a frowny mustache face. You know what I mean? Like you need to. That's true. You need to think of the future. Don't stop thinking about tomorrow, guys.
Yeah, even birds put their wings down a little bit. So be careful because those wings cannot stay extended the entire time.
It's like, oh, my God, you've got it. Is that a dead bird on your chest? No, I'm just old. All right. So Tom Selleck. They go to dinner and everyone's like, oh, my God, we're going to party. Ah, we're going to go wild, aren't we, Cloyce? Cloyce is going to live his best life.
I'll have a mocktail. Did everyone hear me? I would like something without alcohol because I'm not drinking alcohol because I'm a good person.
Well, Gary, since you're going to be a sober, I guess someone else can make a fool of themselves. Chloe, say something. Okay, Daisy, I do like your hair like this, and I bet you get a lot of people interested in a taste of Ireland for sure. Top of the morning.
And they're all like, oh, gross. Jeez, close.
Lay off the cocktails yourself, then. I think that's the worst thing you've possibly ever said.
Taste of Ireland? That's not even a thing. Daisy's like, oh, no. So then we see Captain Glenn doing calisthenics. He's got those bands, those exercise bands.
He's like, one, two, three, four, five. Oh, that's too much. Okay, back to the iPad in bed.
That was hard. So then Chase is flirting with Deanna. A little bit. And it's not going very well. And he's like, I'm pretty dumb. And she's like, I think you are more savage because you'll say shit. And then Garrett's like, I'm going to pee pee. So Chase goes with him. And then Daisy asks Deanna what's going on. She's like, what's happening with your ass? Oh, fuck off. Don't tell me nothing.
You vibe well enough. I like it. Oh, you think you're sweet together. You get on. What'd you make out with him? Do it. She did it. Eh? Did you do it or are you going to do it? Do you have reservations on him? Do it before that one jumps on him because you know she will. Like a fly on shit, that one. No offense, Chase. I'm not calling you shit, really. It's like white on rice, really.
And Diana's like, yeah, probably. So Daisy's like, yes, chess vibes. So then Gary's like, oh, being sober around a whole bunch of drunk people is something I haven't experienced before. Everyone's sloppy. Everyone's throwing their words. I'm like, have you heard yourself on camera before? Haven't you ever watched this show? Yeah.
So then now they're going to go back to the boat and party there. And so they do. And then Keith is like, I'm going to train the little Wayne. Like, wow, he's really come out of his shell. Who knew Keith even said things like that? I can't even believe he knew who Lil Wayne even was.
So... It's like, Lil Wayne Newton, of course, right? So... Don't go shame, darling, don't go shame. Yeah. Gary is like, I'm going to go to bed, blah, blah. So he gets into bed and everyone's up at the, on the hot tub, drinking, having fun, partying, great times, et cetera. And then they tell, they're playing a game where they have to like, they get prompts to do something.
So Keith gets a prompt to give a pickup line to Daisy. So he goes up to Daisy, he goes, hey baby, are you Irish by chance? Because I want to churn your butter. I think people need to work on their Irish puns tonight. We're 0 for 2.
I love your country. Most of all, you're here. Second of all, you've given me a boner.
Do you happen to have a Guinness? Because a lot to get up in your business.
So then what do we do next? So then Davide goes to check on Gary. He's like, are you okay? What are you doing in here? We are partying, brother. And he's like, I can't party. I'm just not drinking anymore.
I'm a good person now. I'm reading a kinder. This is Kindle. Whatever. It is upside down. Oh, stop it.
Do you know what words are?
This is a book. Oh, disgusting. God, what have I done? I've got a problem.
And I think I need to learn when to say no or how to stop myself from continuing down this road. It's abuse. And when I start, it doesn't stop. I scare the shit out of me, to be honest.
Blah, blah, blah. This storyline is triggering me. It's really bothering me. I don't know why. It's really bothering me watching Gary take something that most people really go through that's a real thing and trivializing it because he got in trouble. And I feel like that's what's going on here.
If I thought there was one smidgen of him actually thinking like, wow, maybe I have a problem that I need to get this taken care of. This is not cool for the people around me. If that was a real thing that he was going through, I would like it. But I don't believe it for one second. It just seems so fucking fake. And someone told him, like, you have to say this stuff.
And really, this is how you really take responsibility. Get up and say how you've got a problem and you'll do anything to change it. And he's just doing it. And it's bugging me. I don't like it.
I would say, actually, my hot take on it is that I actually think what he's feeling is genuine. But I don't think he's really at the place yet to really... do something about it. I think he's doing this thing where he's like, well, if I can, I can do this. I I'll be fine. I'll, I'll just, I hope so.
And I, but, but I don't knowing Gary and like knowing how hard the road is, I feel like this is not like, Oh, this he's turned over a new leaf. Regrettably. I think this is him thinking that he has, but I think he's going to just slide back into old ways.
Yeah, I mean, I think the thoughts he's thinking are real, but I think they're regurgitated from other things he's heard. I don't know that he's really feeling them. I think he's just like learned that this is what you say when you're in trouble. And it's just, it's really fucking the fuck out of me. I think it could be all of the above. It could be.
I think it's all of the above. Yeah, it could be. I think it's what you're saying and what I'm saying all together, to be honest.
Yeah. Everybody get in the pool.
Hey, Ronnie. Hey, Ronnie. Try not to get offended, okay? It's Gary's storyline.
So now people go... And back in the hot tub, they're playing like naughty games. And then there's like a game like you have to do your favorite. Well, Daisy does suck and blow and accidentally kisses Keith. Wacky. And then Danny gets to recreate her favorite movie makeout scene with Chase, which of course they get that. And so they do the notebook scene and they start making out really hard.
And then Danny tops him, like it's on top of him and starts grinding up against him and making out. And of course, Deanna is like, oh my God, I only slept eight hours for this.
Let me cover face with foam so I don't have to look at these idiots. So, yeah, basically, then Chase and Danny go to the master bedroom, and they go in there, and Danny's like, can I tell you something bad? I've come in here once before. He goes, was someone else on the boat? She goes, no, not on the boat, but we didn't do anything. Mm-hmm. He goes, well, I appreciate you telling me that.
Who was that, Gary? No, she went with the guy from the club. The child from the club.
Oh, right, right, right. Gary, she just made out with him. They went to bed. Right, right, right. yeah we didn't do anything bullshit you didn't do anything i know see little liar little liar and so then um danny if daisy sees diana she's like all right well bad call on my part i just heard an ass getting slapped uh so it's probably bad call on my part but i thought you were vibing
then diana's like no danny is obsessed with him i'm gonna call vladmir now she's oh stop she's like i'm not fucking dumb she says you know when you're on the boat and all of your life is these people and you only connect with someone basically like chase and now that person is connecting with someone else and now you're alone it's very frustrating it's like you don't belong anywhere
And then we just hear a slap on the ass and he, yeah, yeah. Wow. I like that. He slaps her on the ass and goes, wow. And she goes, what? And he goes, wow. Oh, all right.
So that was the end of the episode. I did feel bad for Diana. That sucks. That sucks so much, but you know, she can do much better and she will do better. Once she gets off the boat, she will remember that she's like drop dead gorgeous. And yeah, that girl looks like Heather Graham.
I'm not going to like cry for that. I'm not, I'm not crying for Argentina today. Okay. They're much better than chase out there. A hundred percent. Also banks. Everybody, thank you so much for everything, for being here with us, for talking with us. We sure love you guys.
Go get tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour starting next month over at watchwhatcrappens.com and for the Golden Crappies, which is February 1st on Broadway in New York City. And we will talk to you next time, okay? Bye. Bye.
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