H. Foley
Appearances
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
If you want the Emmys to call.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I was on the Osempis then. And now, no. Now, I had it up and down with the Osempis. I know it's bad. I'm sure you got a lot of questions. It's bad news. I understand that. I'm aware of what I look like.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
You got a purposely bad old bus?
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
There's Eddie V's. Eddie V's. Shout out to him.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
That's a nice joint right there.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
And we only do, we only, listen, we only do it in like, you know, once or twice, like, you know, like something like this, you know, we had like a long week or whatever. Like the first night we got here, we got the guys with us and stuff like that. You know, we, you know, we want everybody to have a good time. Have you been?
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
That's got a lot of character to it.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Had a little King's Butter in my underwear.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
We're just bad with money. We also almost got kicked out of Three Forks because we were pretty fucked up. Really?
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
We can't change it. Everybody's still green.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah. We were in the middle of the dining room. It was nice. It was nice people. Yeah. Having nice dinners, enjoying themselves.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
We knew we were in trouble when after we ordered, they came and they flipped out the leafs on the table. At this point, I'm like in the walkway. There's two nice couples having dinner behind us. We're screaming back and forth. We're doing this. We're doing that. We weren't like...
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I watched it at home with my wife. Because we went to the NFC Championship the week before. And I realized very quickly after that whole excursion that I wouldn't have made the... It was rough. Really? Yeah. How so? Had to walk to the subway. There was no cars. Had to get through Broad Street walking around. My feet were killing me. We were all fucked up.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I just knew we couldn't do another weekend like that.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Were you considering going? Yeah. We thought about it. You know, in the moment, we were excited. Because that's hometown.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah. I also didn't want to watch that in that environment because I was very anxious about it. I didn't want to go to any Super Bowl parties. I wanted to sit in the dark, quiet, and watch it. But you must have really enjoyed it. Not because I kept thinking, like, this fucking guy's going to come back.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
There was a guy in Philly in the 60s, I think. He ended up becoming one of the managers of this restaurant I worked at when I was a kid, the Blue Bell Inn. His name was Jack Friel, Philly legend. He was a coach of a Catholic school in Philly. The night before the city championship or whatever it was, the varsity team got in trouble for drinking or something like that. Benches them all.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Starts the JV team. Wins the city championship. What? I'm not sure what it was.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
That's what I'm talking about.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
This is halftime. Where have you guys been raised that you're so weak mentally that you just give up when something doesn't go right for you? Don't you know what adversity is all about? That's the game of life, not the game of basketball. You don't get down when things go wrong. You dig it and get tougher. Your whole life's going to be adversity. Learn how to deal with it.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Let's fucking go.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah. That's great. Think he likes an Eddie V's, huh? Oh, man. Sit down, baseball steak with him. Get you straightened out. You guys are like children.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Just like, where were you raised, pussy? That's what you need. All my coaches in high school and college were like that, and I loved it. It's great, right?
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I remember my football coach in high school saying he was hard on us. He came in when I was a junior, and then my senior year, they'd gotten their foot under them and stuff like that, and they really wanted to build a program. And so he was hard on us to get everybody ready as the program moved forward.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
And I think I or one of my buddies who he always was just strong on was like, why do you yell at us so much? And he was like, when I stop yelling, that's when you should worry.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah, we met in Chicago and then took the bus all the way to California over the 12 days.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
And my three Indian step sisters. That's what he was saying. That's got to be a book. That's the name of someone's father.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
100% on the streets.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Haven't had a slice in 15 years.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
He... I had a pretty good conversation with him one night. We took shrooms, and I was up front.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah. That was a great episode, man. Christina's awesome. She's great.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah, just me. And he ripped heaters, so we were still smoking at the time, so he let me come up and sit and smoke a cig with him. I chatted him up a little bit, found a little bit of his life story. Nice guy. He's Dominican. Dominican dude, maybe a little bit of a rougher, younger days.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Little rascals.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
They got a lot of spunk.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Crazy, dude. Yeah, that was the first time that ever happened. Somebody came in straight from the ER, who should have went to the ER the night before. Yeah, she let it bleed through.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah. Oh, okay.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
And then find out. I know she was maybe doing it half-jokingly, but I also think maybe she didn't want to admit this. She said she got bit by a snake. I don't think she wanted to admit that her son stabbed her.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Hey, maybe. Stop being a pussy.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
What are they, three years apart? Yeah, two and a half. Yeah, VMI, dude, it was the same thing. We were nightmares. One year, we had just moved from upstate Pennsylvania down to outside of Philly. Down by Philly, everything was way more expensive. So we were like, my parents were kind of struggling a little bit. We were living in a townhouse. They were trying to give us a good life.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
They were working their asses off and all this stuff. And my mom, every year, she would wrap all the Christmas presents and put them, hide some stuff, but put a majority of them in one of the rooms downstairs where she wrapped them up. But there'd be no labels on them. You know what I mean? So like, oh, these are for your cousins and all that kind of stuff.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
My mom's working like a triple shift somewhere. My dad's away. Me and my brother are home by ourselves. Maybe we're like 12. I'm 12. He's 14. And my brother walks in. I'm sitting there watching TV. And he comes in. He's got a brand new sneaker in his hand. And I'm like, where the fuck did you get that? And he's like, come here. Brings me into the room.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
He got a razor blade and slit open the presents. And we slid them out. So once we realized we could do that, we looked at every single one. I got this. I got Sega. I got this. Unbelievable. We piece it back together. Perfect crime. Don't do it right. We put it back. Next day, go to school. Come home. Usually my mom's there. My dad doesn't get home until whenever. He's sitting at the kitchen table.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
He's like, your mom's over at your aunt's. She's hysterically crying. Busted. Ruined Christmas. It was like one of those times, like, no yelling. Yeah. Just... Quiet. Bad.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
They were the shit, bro.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Wow.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
He loved that.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Dude. School calls? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. They probably got them on fucking speed dial, dude.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
What do you think, you dumb broad? I got 20s? Yeah, it's 100. Here's a little something for yourself. Keep the chocolate milk cold.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Don't wear that perfume tomorrow either.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Trying to spell over here. Giraffe? I don't fucking know.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Is your spending out of control? I mean... We're not buying tigers or anything like that. Things happen quickly. Okay, so you're an impulse buyer? Is that what the thing is? I'm just an idiot, man. He's been smart. He's been good.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I've never learned anything like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I vaguely remember having an accounting class in high school, but I know I didn't pass it.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Where were you? I didn't realize they were filming. So I was still on Ozempic at the time, and it was really killing me. Killing me. Was it helping? No. It was making me. I was so sick. I had burps, the runs, the whole nine yards. I was in a bad spot. So I was on a clock. Because you get on that bus, you can't poop. He acts like he lives in a typical good spot normally.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I got the acorns.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I'm just bad spending. All I'm saying is this. Like I'm in panic mode now.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I don't know what my goals are. I just want to have a little cash on me. Okay. I'm not walking around much. Do you have any debt? Why are you asking personal questions, Tommy? Well, I'm saying that could be a goal. I got a credit card bill. I pay it, though. Okay, I'm saying, I'm giving you examples of goals.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Why wouldn't it be due at the end of the month?
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Like he's not burping and farting all the time. But I had to really time it out, and then the bus broke down, and that kind of jammed up my schedule. Yeah.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I didn't involve him in the planning of my wedding, which, looking back... That would have been a good time. He was hitting them up for payments earlier. What did this wedding look like? Beautiful, Tommy. Really? Had a nice time. I mean, it's Hawaii. It's Hawaii. Beautiful place. Beautiful. Did you get married on the beach? Yeah. Place called Lani Koanua in Oahu over at Koalina.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
per se yeah and um yeah we got to the place where we're getting the bus fixed and you know something happened i didn't realize fucking uh luke our producer was running around like the school newspaper filming me and dude meanwhile he's got a lava like we are we're only day seven of production was under the radar was it running down your legs was it like no no it wasn't not he threw the underweight i
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
150.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Four years ago. Yeah, I just didn't understand it. I mean, I'm an idiot. You know what I mean? This is the first thing that's worked out for us. We can't be more grateful. Yeah, of course. And yeah, you know what I mean? It's like... It was kind of there. I was like, all right, yeah. You know, then it just kind of adds up.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
And then, you know, man, when it was really getting close, I was like, fuck, am I going to be able to physically pay for this? So what happens?
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
If that didn't happen, I would have been bad. Really? Yeah. And I came back in January like, ew. Straighten me out. Because here was the thing.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
The main panic was, and I didn't realize this as we were getting closer to the finish line, is that we got a room block for everybody that was coming over. Which everybody, I mean, got banged out. I got my whole family flying to Hawaii at Christmas. These guys came in for, like, three days.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Everybody's a little tense. But wedding was beautiful. Everybody had a great time. But I never did a room block before. I just assumed that if you get a room block, you're getting, like, a special, you know, you get a little discount because you got people coming in.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
It turns out that whatever I tell them, like if I say, hey, I want 75 nights, you know, broken up, like, you know, 10 nights, 10 nights, 10 nights, you know, whatever. I'm responsible for that. Dude, he was... 75 nights at a beachfront hotel at Christmas in Hawaii.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Dude, I signed the contract and then I was like talking to the lady and I'm like, so wait, what does this mean? She's like, well, you know, if for some reason that you only hit like, you know, say 50 nights, you're going to be financially responsible for those other 25 nights. Holy shit. So around... I would say August of this year, I was basically working for this hotel, pitching to my family.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
People started dropping like flies, too. Yeah, we're going to stay over here. Oh, my friend's got it. Your friend's got a place, got the pool. What are you talking about?
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah, it all worked out. Oh, it would have.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I just would have swam out in the ocean and just kept going. I would have been done.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Let me put it this way. When we got back from the wedding, I was on the bed fucking ripping open envelopes. Holy shit. Yeah.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Ah. But it was a good time, didn't we, Kippy? We had a good time.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah, we're resuming our regular tour. We go back out in early March to do a run. We're going to do a run in April. We're going to take a little time off in the summer from the road. And then we got an AC show. And then we'll start back up touring in the fall. Take back up in the fall. But yeah, back. This was different. This was our big thing. Again, also, financially irresponsible.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
We sunk everything we had into this.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Swivels.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I want to be able to sit in the captain's chair in the back right and turn around and talk to the boys.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Could you be like, oh, these are... Well, they were dark basketball shorts. Okay. So...
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Oh, wow. That's clean living right there. Pulling up in one of them.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Baracus.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
It's like fun. Ours doesn't have that tent on the top, does it? No, that's where you're staying. No. Yeah.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Rack and pinion steering. I like that you point out it's got AC on the radio. Those are hard to find these days. I got two words for you. Power windows. All right?
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Airbags.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
We had a dude stop for gas not that long ago. We had a show in Red Bank. We drove from the city. He was like, I got to get gas. And it disappeared for like 20 minutes.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
It's fun.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
That's what the whole show's about. That is what the show is about. The bozos and the homies, the fans want to see that.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Plus, I don't know, the retirement thing, it's like you can't take it out until a certain age. Yeah, what? I know. I mean, the clock's ticking. You know what I mean? On all of us.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I need access to that game now. Fuck retirement. I got a florist in Hawaii looking for me. I would love to see the bills. Man. We were getting, I thought I had it all mapped out. We flew from New York to, I think, was it Minneapolis? And then got on a, we had a layover in Minneapolis, got on a plane, we're flying in. I got it all mapped out. Everything's been taken out.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
All the final payments are done. Yeah. We're literally about to take off, you know, and I'm going to lose my internet. I look at my American Express bill and I go, why? Something was just like an invoice when I thought I paid it, but I didn't. And I'm like, man, this is going to fuck everything up. And then we get... And I'm like, wait, wait. I thought this was taken out or whatever.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
We get into a huge fight on our way there. And then I lose it. It's good times. I'm trying to text the vendor. Like, what did you do? Double charge me, whatever. And I lose it. Man, talk about a long flight.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah, I was like... Yeah, my activities leading up to this, as far as exploring different avenues... Of, you know, maybe loans or whatever has now led to my phone gets blown up. I am on some list of I am on the huge sucker list somewhere. I have these random. Hey, you're almost approved for this. You want to do it? I mean, I get like five a day and I'm answering them.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Because I'm like, take me off your fucking list.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
That's what they know. They're like, this guy swipes this card. Give me 30% APR and I'll consider it.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah, that's why you don't look. Looking is bad. Yeah. When you don't want an answer, you don't look. Yeah. Bad reality in the cold light of day.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
So they were filming. So the bus broke down. We were getting all that footage and stuff like that. But I realized Luke was like hovering around me with a camera. And when I got off the bus is when the incident occurred.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Then he comes up to the nose and does that. You got that on camera?
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
And if we weren't at that specific mechanic shop, I don't know how other mechanic shops are, but this bathroom was like a bathroom at a house. They had a sink. They had cleaning products under the sink. It was like a powder room. They had paper towels in there. You took the underwear. Right in the trash? Yeah. Well, first I checked. Because, you know, sometimes... False alarm.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
It feels swampy, and it isn't. Right. Unfortunately, this time that wasn't the case. There was some action. For everybody involved. So I had loose basketball shorts on, so I thought I'd do it real quick. I just did like... One of those.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I knew it was bad news. Yeah. Yeah. For everybody. Yeah. So I excused myself from the group and I went in and same thing with your dad. Somebody was in there. Somebody else was in there and I was banging on the door and I heard the toilet flush. It was Tommy Cassidy, our opener. And I was like, listen, I heard the toilet flush. Next thing I should hear water running. Get out of there.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I got a situation. Yeah. So I go in there, have to get completely naked. Yeah. I'm completely naked. And it's like a little, it's like, it's a chilly Albuquerque morning. So I feel that draft coming in. Yeah. Standing in these people's bathroom. They're live.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
So I had, I threw them in the, I threw them in the, in the trash can. All right. Yeah. Threw them in the trash can, cleaned up. I was like the wolf. I had to clean up the bathroom, get rid of everything. And thank God they had, you know, you sometimes put a clean trash bag under the dirty one so you can fill it. They had that. So it was cool. I got away clean. Yes. I grabbed my bag.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
I threw my shorts on. I moved out. hook shot it in the dumpster, and that's it. The bus was fixed. Let's go. Thought, all right, no big deal. Everything's cool. He doesn't think anybody knows it this time.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Jimmy!
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Married To The Queen Of Garbage w/ Kevin Ryan & H Foley (Are You Garbage?) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Yeah. Talk to my lawyer. I don't answer questions.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Dan, you want to thank everybody for all the love and support on the Route 66 special. It is out now. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and check it out.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Stay at the table, ride it out. Destination, Vegas, Elopin, 300 people.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Kip, let's talk about Aura Frames. Oh, shout out to Aura Gang. Now, we talk about Aura Frames a lot on the show, but we love Aura Frames. Great. We genuinely do. And let me tell you something. You got Mother's Day around the corner. It's coming up. Mm-hmm. You want to get mom, grandma, something nice. Hell, even dad, the uncles, everybody. Get them in Aura Frame.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Digital frames sits right in the counter. You upload pictures. That way they get to keep up what's going on with Jimmy and Johnny and Tommy, how they're doing in Little League, the recital, all that kind of stuff.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Kip, what do you know about Elite Eye Restore Hair Growth? What do I know about it?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
How you doing? Calling all you Q-Balls out there. What are you doing? Flying a turkey? What? You crazy? Get Eye Restore. Red Light Therapy. Have you grown hair in no time?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Do I know that couch? Is that the couch from the old house?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Johnny, you did come in really first day of school in it. You got the new boots on.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You can't do this to the kid. What are you, Max Cady?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
The house wakes up. Now, is that regardless of what time you go to bed, or are you keeping your nights pretty regimented when you're not on the road?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I think about you taking the power back a lot when we talk. When you talked about the social media, you were getting too into it. You pulled back from that a little bit. You got to get off that. I respect it. You got to have rules you live by. So when you're lining up your spots in the city, You're concentrating them on when you do them. And the rest of the week, you're living like a dad.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
It's called depression. They don't know the value of an old weight bench in the garage.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
As the king of the burbs, I know where this is going. This guy's grilling in the driveway.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Huh? You got a side door? No, we got a back door and front door.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Colin Quinney told us on the show. No, he's been rented for years.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yes. I was at Days Inn, and it was the third floor. Fucking trash.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You see it. I'm like, which one is it? He's like, you see the lumen? And I'm like.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Not me. I'm staying in Astoria, Queens. Hell yeah. Can they drag me out of the apartment? That's what it is.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Is this just in the summer, or is that thing up there now?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
There ain't no fucking snow on the ground. I got to move it now.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yeah, I say shovel at the front door. Fuck them. It's not like an old one. It's a nice shovel.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
They might say something different in the burbs. Okay.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
It's good to know. So that's officially a trashy move? Yeah. My aunt and uncle built one and put an above-ground pool on the side of the house. Luckily, it collapsed like three weeks later.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
My mom's, it's all deck. My whole backyard's all deck. It's an above-ground pool with a deck. It's an above-ground in-ground. That's what it is.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I don't know. Wait, they tax you for a pool? Oh, it's a permanent fixture? Oh, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Now my insurance is going to go up. Ladies and gentlemen, sheath underwear. Woo! One of our absolute favorite sponsors, an OG sponsor of all comedy podcasts. Shout out to him. So if you're a comedy podcast fan, Sheath Underwear has been helping support comedy podcasts for years.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
They got a fantastic product. All right. They were the first guys doing it. Nobody does it better than them. Give them a try.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
If you don't love the underwear. I'll come to your ass and put them on my head. But you're going to love them.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Shout out to Factor, baby. We've been talking about Factor a lot. And you know why that is? Because they're fantastic. Because they're fantastic. Gang, if you're trying to lose weight, if you've got limited time during the week, spring's coming up, you've got a busy schedule, Factor is the answer. I'm telling you.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You take them out, you throw them in the microwave, two minutes, you've got hot and ready meals ready to go. They're fresh, never frozen. You can pick from keto. You can do this. You can do that. I'm telling you right now, the only problem is you're going to want to eat six of them.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yeah. And I was like, oh. So your property taxes every year, you would have to pay $88,000. Here's the thing. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Listen, while we have yous here, we wanted to ask some New York, both New York kids. Hardcore New York kids. Yes, sir. Brooklyn Queens. We had some New York etiquette questions that we wanted to run by you guys. If we could. Absolutely. I'll kick it off first. You're walking down the street with your lady. All right? Is she on the inside or is she on the outside?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
That's a big difference. That's a side note. This is contention with us, with me and my wife. When you're walking into the restaurant, you have the reservation and stuff like that. Do you walk in first, or do you open the door for her and let her in? And what do they prefer? Is this a thing?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Because my girl doesn't like to walk in first, but I look like an asshole opening the door and walking in with her behind me. I agree with you. You got to let her open the door. She doesn't want to talk to the hostess, though.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Do you come home sometimes and there's something just going on the stove? Oh, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
When it comes to the Sicilian, are you saying, give me a corner, give me a middle, give me a side?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
When Yanni says, the first time we were on the show, we asked him, what do you like playing slice? I hear that in my head every time I get a piece of pizza.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You made a few bucks on the house, the Staten Island house.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
It's the word I used. Have either of you speaking of pizza been to Chrissy Pizza's over in Greenpoint?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
That's how you know. Either you have your picture on the wall at a pizza place. He does. I got mine at a big one, Prince Street Pizza.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
That's Travolta. That's huge. Travolta's got a picture in every pizza place in the city. That's what it is. That's a big, big, big moment.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
That's a good point. I never thought about it that way.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Go. Yanni touched on this a little bit. When you were both in the city at the apartment, were you okay or do you think it's okay to put the shoes outside of the apartment door? No.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You never got into when you were going to make the pool on one level.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
The real skill on that is knowing exactly how far to go up on the other car before you turn in.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You said that like AI. You made it sound like he's in Apache.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show where you sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find that they're good to be classy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yeah. Late night diner order from both of these. Go to the diner late night.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I was like, you know, man, I've got cameras at the base of the Queensborough Bridge. Give me a fucking break. It's bad. Get me with a radar gun. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
It doesn't matter. He does bids. We asked Yanni this in a roundabout way. We got to it when he was here last. But Chrissy D, backseat of a cab. Action? No action. Like sex?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Are we talking about, hey, what's going on? A little bit.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Those scare me. And it was so close. That's never happened yet, but if I ever get into that land and takeoff, I'll probably have a heart attack.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
So you can't take a nap on a plane, huh? I can, but it sucks. I wake up a little groggy, a little swollen, a little groggy. If I got a couple of Bloody Marys in me, yeah, it's bad.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Boys, this was an absolute treat. Long time in the making.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Two of the absolute funniest, two of the absolute best in the business, the history hyenas. Fellas, we love you. Congratulations on the special.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Happy to have you. We love you so much. And thank you for everything. We love you guys. Kippy, hit them. Love you guys.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
But they're just a big old piece of trash. Wee-shon-jing. I'm your host. I was about to go, trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a glorious day. We're out back here at Tooties and the New Editions. She's out hitting the links, believe it or not. Okay. Working on her short game for the spring. All right. You know, a little winter rules. Sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
She's got a caddy, lets her in. All right. Whatever. Mike Coates is coming at you from right next to me, unamused this week. He's a tough layup this kid. My co-host, CEO of Are You Garbage, international businessman, Kevin James Ryan.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
A Hall of Fame? Now, what would you be willing to pay over what you sold it for?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
If you don't like the area, or if you're the... And I completely understand what you're saying. Not that I'm from the city, but I'm so ingrained in it now. You know, we think about moving out of the city. I just got to have it around me a little bit. Yeah. And if you're not happy out there in the burbs, even though Staten Island's still in the city, but that was a very suburban area.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I mean, forget about the house for a minute. You got some other planning to do. You just popped the question, didn't you? That's right, cuz. You got that coming up. That's right. What's that looking like, Yanni?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Those things came into fashion at just the right time.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
But it's beautiful. You say in the special, you got three kids. You put them in there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Check that out. Check out that Route 66 tour. Cook it over there on a used to page. Well, we couldn't be more excited to have two of our incredibly special guests here with us today. Two of the absolute funniest, two of the best, couple of good-looking kids, too, let's be honest. Ladies and gentlemen, the history hyenas. Yeah, Mommy and Daddy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Like Ariel Castro. That's what I'll do. What are we thinking as far as the nuptials? I just tied the knot, got married.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
A lot of poor financial decisions in that. I'm an ordained minister.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Kempi, you see this? We got this Route 66 special dropping.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
That's too intellectual for us. Dude. We were straight punch buggy. Sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
When my dad was driving, you couldn't put the light on in the car because the car would explode. Sure. And you couldn't put the visor down to block the sun. He would freak out. It's, dude, I do it now because the wife, dude, I lose.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I remember I was in the car with my aunt one time, and she took it and pulled it over to the window. I'm like, she's going to fucking kill us. What the fuck are you doing? My uncle went to look like, what the fuck? I can't. You're in my blind spot. All right, let's get into the cues here. Yes. We reached out to the homies, road trip stories. Let's see what we got.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
That grandfather was furious. Let me tell you something. I don't know if you're too young to remember those police scanners.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
My Uncle Red would sit in the kitchen with a couple of beers just listening to what's going on. Man, and the radar detectors. Those things never worked. Everybody thought they were hot shit with them. Those things suck. Sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Kind of look like a Zach Morris phone. Gang, the show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Yeah. Calling all you screwballs out there. Get yourself together. I'm all banged up. I'm crazier than a $2 bill. I got into talk therapy. If you're having issues, do yourself a favor.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Get over there to BetterHelp because they can help, and they just might have a specialist that you don't have in your area, and you can do it from the privacy of your own home.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Nah, not everywhere. I'm working on it. It takes time. And it don't got to be something life-changing. It could be something small that you're working through. Or you could have some unresolved trauma or whatever you're dealing with. You don't know what's going on. Better help, man.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Dang, did you know it's possible to get federally legal THC shipped right to your door? I'm dead serious. We're talking about mood. I remember a time when if I wanted weed, I had to go down here, go to the sketchy neighborhood, get this, that, the other thing. Cop a bag. Not anymore.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Sure. A couple of beer, a couple of sandwich trays. Do a stained carpet. Got that ready to go. This carpet's bad news. We couldn't be more excited for this, gang. We are so proud of the Route 66 tour. As you know, we started in Chicago. We went all the way to Los Angeles. 11 days, nine shows, eight cities, the boys on the bus, all the behind-the-scenes stuff.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Mood delivers premium 100% federally legal THC right to your door, and you can get 20% off your first over at mood.com slash garbage with promo code garbage.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
We need a CB. We need a scrambler. We need a... 400.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I'm not going to get approved for that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
A scrambler, a radar detector, and a police scanner. Okay.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
We can get a fine one for $100. There you go. You know what would be sick, too? We get a dish on the top of this thing.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Anytime I saw one of those in, like, somebody's office or something like that, all right, we're going to get out of here. Sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
It'd be cool if we did an FBI training, like how to do the spin outs and stuff like that. Oh, like tactical drive. Oh, in the van? Yeah. I'm not rolling that thing. First of all, we got to get approved for it. That's where we're going to be in. What? We'll be in that. You got to train on the thing you're in so you can do the... You're not driving this thing. I didn't say I was.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Stopping along the way, just getting a sense of Of what we call America. A little Americana, man. A little slice of the Forgotten Highway out there. Jesus Christ.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
It was to nice families. I'm not talking about those smashing grab jobs you see on TikTok. I'm talking about something elegant. Coming in the middle of the night. You got the thing. You knock out the wall. You go in. Bing, bang, boom. Thomas Crown Affairs. Yeah, you know. Forget about it. Put a nice tux on. Steal the Mona Lisa. I get stuck under the door.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Yeah. I don't think that's ever happened. Yeah, it happened to us at a 4th of July party. We were acting up in the backseat, and we were driving to my buddy dad's. My buddy dad? My dad's buddy scow's place. What a name. Jesus Christ. We were driving there. That was like the party house. We were driving over there, 4th of July. My brother and I both had lice at the time.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Why are you going to a party? You got fucking lice. It was kind of like coming to the end of it or something like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
You can't be bringing lice. All the kids had lice back then. But we didn't make it because we started screwing around in the back seat. My mom was like, should we go or should we not go? And we were driving over there and we started trouble. So I had to get... My mom brought us back to the house.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
brought me up to the bathroom and started doing that comb, that lice comb, and she was not being tempted. Sure. And I heard the fireworks going off outside. Sucked.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Kid made moves back then. My fault I was closing it. Cracking dingers at the Little League Park, you know what I mean? Brought in the snack shop, wanted a piece of the kid. Uh-huh. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, they turned it around. But usually that was all bullshit. You know, if you got far enough away, that's when you start, hey, you going to turn around, dickhead? Huh? You going to turn around?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
There was never a situation where one of you did something and they had the fucking, or was it just like ping pong? What do you mean? Like, let's say Danny did something. Would he get yelled at by your mom and then yelled at by your dad? They never came together?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
She stopped trying at some point and was like... Was there ever a point after the divorce where you came home and he was there? Because I would shit my pants.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Dad has a little more whatever. But as a recently divorced mom. You're speaking from experience. With you two in the backseat, I mean, dude, that probably. There was probably moments where she felt helpless.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Stopping by the woods on a snowy evening. Sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I was too young. That's fun, though. I used to love hanging out with the broads when I was a kid. I didn't know what they were talking about. My Aunt Mary Catherine would take me over to bingo on a Wednesday night. All the Werthers and Salem 100s. I could get in my system.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
The woods on a snowy evening? Stopping by the pizza joint after a couple of beers is more like it. What, nothing on that? Corn ball. You don't like a slice late night, fatty? Mr. Vodka Slice over here.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
What the fuck? That's crazy. Nuts. What'd you spend on gas? Gas had to be at least 100.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
You got to drive. So that means he had to leave. Either he left two days early or he missed a couple of days. Man, if my whole family was at Disney World and we left at the same time, I'd be hot-footing it down there. I'd fucking miss the Magic Kingdom or something like that like an asshole. Talk about jammed the fuck up, dude.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
It's always a bad look when you have to not use your car. It's not going to make it. It's okay if I take that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I think our second longest was going in a caravan. It was even crazier. My cousin graduated from a school in North Carolina who were all driving down there for the graduation. I had gotten in... This was my junior year of high school. I had gotten in serious trouble towards the end of the wrestling season. Like, I almost got kicked out of school. Like, it was a problem.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
And they put me in the car, just me with my Uncle Frank, who... I honestly gave... That's brutal. It was just me and him in a Lincoln Town car.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
He was like the enforcer of the family. Very funny, but very quiet. But when we were kids, it was very... He was like an ex-teacher. He was a teacher and all that kind of stuff. So you couldn't get away with any of the bullshit. You get away with the other parents. And man, I didn't know they were doing it. I was like, all right, here we go. Dude, I got my gummy bears.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Guys, we're going to share cassettes, right? I'm jammed up at school. I think it kind of blows over, and then I see this black Lincoln pull up, and I'm like, oh, what's Uncle Frank doing here? And my dad's like, his wife got out of the car, got in my mom's car, came in, and he's like, you're going to drive down with your Uncle Frank. Dude, I felt like lefty. I took my rings off.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I swear to God, dude. You know I love you, right? You're kissing everybody on the cheek. I gave myself a 50-50 chance of getting back. I thought we were going to pull off and give me the Adriana special. He didn't say a word till after DC. And then it was like... You shit your pants, kid. It was like, so what happened at school? And man, I got the scary riot act all the way down there. Sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Man, I was hanging out on my mom's hips when I got there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
That's the exact situation. What? Your dad didn't take his own car. He took his buddy's. Was the buddy with you's?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Dude, try to get across. We might have been mulling. I don't know. Try to get across the border of license and registration. This is the 90s. Here's the thing. It's not registered to me.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
My dad notoriously got lost every trip.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Hey, got Sam's Pizza down there, Dad? There were those road trips that I didn't understand. Like, I remember being like, why the fuck are we going here? Some flea market somewhere? Some state fair? Some shit like that? That sucked. Sure. Like, what are you doing, man? Yeah. Catch a goddamn Goonies is out. What's going on? Catch the 1230.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
That was the first time going from Philly to New York that I drove. I think it was Route 1.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
It seemed like hours. There's lights every five minutes. Get on the goddamn highway. It's crazy. It's the middle of the night. What are we doing here?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
They get six on bump two. Just enough to get. They might need that cash. That was all of our capital at the time. Sure. We did have a little bribe money. Uh-huh. In case the local sheriff.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I'll headline. You feature. He'll host.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
That's right. When we first started the tour, we couldn't do it because we only had debit cards.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Kip, you know five hour energy? Oh, I know them. Well, now they got one hour energy, baby. We're talking about a tiny bottle, big energy. Gang, spring is coming. You're going to need that little extra pep in your step as the sun stays out a little longer. One hour energy is the trick, baby. Get on it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
That's a bad part of town. Another week on that bus, you'd have been talking like a hillbilly.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Four hours? No, no, that's got to be eight. You got to map out the GameStops. You got to map out the Walmarts. Man, that's a road trip right there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Also, you never know. You get some nerd behind the counter at the GameStop. I'll take it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Me and my boy Tommy Dufresne in college drove down to Virginia in his Citation. I don't even know what that is. Ford? Yes. A Ford Citation. Maybe Chevy Citation. Rough. Oh, my. Yeah, to meet these girls. And we went down there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I've never seen the sun come up over the Hoover Dam.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
We had a bag of weed and we had maybe like 20 bucks on us. And on the way back, we had spent all of our money. So we just got to the tolls and we're like, hey, we have no money. They made us fill out some form. They take your driver's license. Never heard of it. Yeah. Wherever that got mailed to. I don't know.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
It ain't on me to do your. That's a scam. That's a scam. Oh, it's a scam? Yeah, yeah. She didn't follow that link, did she? I might have. Oh, you're fucked.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Yeah, that's how they get you. Oh, man.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
This is Kathy Hochul. What do you think? The governor's calling you?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I wanted to do that one summer in college when I was taking a lot of acid. I was going to get a job as a toll booth operator overnight, take acid every time, and write a book about it. I just landscape.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Somebody pulls out that legal tender argument. That's legal tender. Uh-huh.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
That was always a stressful. So there's no tolls in his district. That was always a stressful transaction pulling up to the between my mom and my dad. Like if the exact change, give me the quarter. And where's the ticket? Losing that ticket.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
You get this. 30 miles out, we were getting ready. You got cars behind you. They wanted that transaction to be smooth. Smooth. They start beeping at you. You lose your job.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Yeah, my dad saved all his gas receipts. But I don't think, I don't know if he ever turned them in. They were just in the center console. Some M&Ms and shit. Can I get a receipt for that?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I like the move. I mean, that's psychotic, but... Yeah, if you don't listen to a whole album, something maybe you haven't heard in a while, but afterwards. Listen, I've mentioned this before. It's not your fault.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I can't fucking listen to his playlist one more fucking time.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Listen, I'm driving. If I hear that Tyler Childress song one more time, I'm going to blow my brains out. Fantastic artist. Great song.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Fucking black. I know that's not sticks. It's ACDC. I'll come up with a – how about we all come up with a playlist for the next road trip?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
You're in a bad mood. I stood over you in the middle of the night one night. Debating, slitting your throat.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
We're at an Airbnb. You wake up, and I'm standing over top of you. What's your first move? You're swinging? Probably kill myself. I'd be suffocated under your huge ball bag. I'm standing next to you. Not on the bed. Balls out.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Quietly. I'm just standing there. I don't even. I sound like, hey, Kippy, wake up. You wake up. I'm just standing there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Because I know you guys look on me in the middle of the night. What? I know you look. Yes, you do. You leave your door open. I know.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I always know when the doors close and I wake up and probably took a picture of me. I bet you Cassidy probably has fucking like ten pictures of me sleeping. It's not attractive.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
What about this old rule of not eating in the car? I think it's time to change that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
But as we always say here, Tooties, you protect.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I remember Patty embarrasses him. He also wants to come to his show. Who?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Let's see what the fucking deal looks like.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Charge it for the electric. Patty did that fucking when we went in to get one of the cars.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
uh she the guy knew a friend of ours or something like that and we were in there it was like the guy that owned the place was like the one handling us because it was a favorite of the the person that we knew but then his wife showed up and my mom like introduced like oh we've known whatever and the guy's like well we just met but i'm like what the Getting banged over the head for this.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Here comes the undercoating. Spray it right in my mouth.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Get a set of those nuts and put them on the back, too. Truck nuts? Yeah. That's a little too on the nose. What about some of those? We do got a hitch. We do? Yeah, it's a goddamn conversion van.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
No kidding. Mm-hmm. What about those? This one says, please be patient. I'm nine years old. What about the Yosemite Sams? Mud flaps. Oh, whoa. We can mud flap it up. Mud flap it up. Get some chains on it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Let the city worry about that. Going through like a Panzer tank. We also have to stock it up with some stuff for the car. Got to have some extra antifreeze. Got to have a little armor all.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
You never know. Wouldn't you wipe her fluid?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Hey, yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah. And just a big old piece of trash.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
It's all right. They're a nickel. Somebody got me. Stole my tub cap. Really? Yeah. All of them. Gone. Might have been the kid at Pep Boys. Gave him a little lip.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
For the van? Yeah, make it look like a fucking NASCAR car. Whoa. Bang this thing out. Like what? I don't know. STP? Getty Oil? They're not going to give us any money. Whoever wants to play ball.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Those windows on those things that opened up, man, those took many a fingers. Oh, yeah. The little... Those things, they closed hard.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Back of the pickup, we did pretty regularly when I was a kid. My one buddy who was older... Johnny Mitt had a truck.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
And he was on the wrestling team, so he would drive us. And it would be him, some other senior or whatever in the front, and me and his brother in the back. Like middle of winter, freezing.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
You said you had to put your name. You should have put the kid on there. What do you mean? Why do I have to do this for you? I'm just saying. You want to put a little star power on it. My credit just went up 17 points. I just got a notice from Credit Mission. Is it tied to your cholesterol?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I wasn't the same man. That's it? 48 minutes?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
We were on the highway. That's like three stop signs, dude. You got to be doing it wrong.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Lost a lot of good people on that trip. Oh, man. I stink. 48 minutes. Bastard.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I'll tell you that. With a stop in Myrtle Beach. I'm going to say that's 40 hours.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Plus they got killers in those waters. Yeah. Fuck that. Fuck that, dude. You couldn't get me in the fucking bay in Rhode Island.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Why was it? Listen, Disney World is unbelievable. But why was it always driving down? It's probably so expensive. I know, I know.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Dude, it's always Disney World. Think of how many families have gotten into fights and arguments. Most. Most families in the country. Think of how many divorces have occurred on trips like that. This is it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Dude. Those Pelicans would have squashed your brain.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
That all worked out. You were on a goddamn tour bus. 2,500 miles. All worked out, baby.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I already sold the windshield on the van.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
No, we weren't on the run from anybody.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
You get on the phone with somebody? Got on the phone with a closer. Let's see if he makes it happen.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Stopping at a friend's house. Hey, the fat one's got to dump one out.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
For sure, for sure, for sure. I don't got to dick for it, first of all.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I don't got to dick for it now is what I'm saying. Back then, maybe I'd get away with it. I was six. I would just end up peeing in my face like a baby. Peeing in your nose? I got my dad bad one time.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
You need a 32-ouncer for that. You can't do that in a can.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Quick edit, Kippy's computer died and Uncle Hank needed a hot chocolate. A little hot chocolate chai latte.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Giving Luke a million dollars for keeping his hand on the conversion van for three days.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Yeah. Something. Freddie. Call me. But you could shut down. I'll do it. You know, it's kind of like I got Patty, too. We got Patty in the pocket. I shouldn't get shot down.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I'm getting a classic length turkey hoagie with Swiss mayo, lettuce, tomato, salt, pepper, oregano, lettuce, tomato, onion. I'm getting a bag of... If we're in a fantasy here, I'm getting a bag of hers barbecue corn chips, which I don't think they make anymore, but they were my favorite.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
If you want them, you got to find them in the party mix, but you got to dig through because they got pretzels and shit. That's what I'm getting. You're going off things that don't exist.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Yeah, listen. Gonna go to the factory. Make a pit stop in Hanover.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
A bag of munchos. Fair enough. Because I like that combo. And they will cut your mouth up. They are sodium. Big orange Gatorade. Okay. And a bag of Snyder's chocolate-covered pretzels.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
If I have a little left over. Maybe some of them candies. I'll put that in my acorns. Hey, round up.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
If I have a little left over, a bag of wild berry Skittles.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Then I'll probably sleep for the rest of the show.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I ain't never seen a guy drive as good as you with a bag of combos in your hand. With kids clack-a-lacking.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Are you pre-opening that before you get on the road?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Isn't that crazy? What are we doing? Get rid of the white cheddar. Get rid of the extra toasted. Stop. You don't need all that shit. You made the best thing possible.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Those white cheddars. That shit goes everywhere. It's like fake snow.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Cigarettes. You need a foot long hoagie. It's 13 inches.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Wawa. You're pinned down. You got Jersey, Philly, or you got Florida.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
If you want to invest that, give me a call.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
It's one of my favorite things. I've told you walking and eating is one of my favorite things. But eating in the car, having like a bunch of stuff in the bag and just.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
You can't be a dirt ball and do that shit. Fucking. Oh, we'll get you when we get back. That's got to be upfront cash. And they shouldn't have to ask. Be a goddamn gentleman. This isn't a free ride. You got your fucking boy. You got where terror in his car. He's probably jammed up. All right. He'll probably show up filled once. You hit him right away. Listen, here's 20 for gas to get there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
If there's four of you, that's 60 bucks. That should cover it to get there. I agree. And then on the way back, you do the same thing.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Get in the hotel. We'll pay for the gas and the tolls. You drive. That's what it is. You're not moving. The hotel's got nothing to do with it. That's a separate business altogether. Okay.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Because you ain't touching my Harry bows. I'm showing up with snacks. Big box of Cheez-Its. Two foot long hooves.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Wait, the stuff that wasn't for the car ride but for the house when you get there? Yeah. You fat fuck. You can't wait fucking two hours.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Don't tell them it's broken. Don't tell them it's broken.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Man, you're doing that from memory? If a roller bag fell on your head, you're freaking out.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Going into that trunk, it was either real cold or real hot in there, and you felt the difference. It always smelled good in there, though. That was usually the cleanest the car was. The new car smell stayed in the trunk for longer. Yeah, because nobody's sweating in there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I used to kind of like it. I like the carpet in there. Sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I was also big on if we pulled in, if me and the boys pulled into Wawa or something like that and like one of the other crews was there or whatever, like one of the other, another friend. Another dance crew or whatever. You guys are going to fucking be. Whoa. That sounded like fucking thunder.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
But I was big on when they got out, if they left their doors unlocked, I would go in, go in the back seat, crawl into the thing and keep the seat halfway up. So when they came in, I would scare the shit out of them. Jesus Christ. It's fucking scream type shit. Fuck that. I was big on it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I did it to Frank Rizzolo one time. Shit his pants.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Not going to happen in the Foley house. What? If you're afraid of flying? The only time we flew when I was a kid was from Pennsylvania to San Francisco. I was petrified. Yeah, I guess you're going to be petrified.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
That's a life lesson. You got to put a stop to that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Thanks for only coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in the new edition. Unfortunately, we are not going to see her for a little bit. Oh, God. Just go on a trip with the girls. Go down to Cancun. Relax. She's fine. Okay. She wants to stretch her wings a little bit. She wants to go down there, get nailed. I don't know what she does down there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Where the fuck was he going to stay for the 20 hours it took him to get down there?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I told you this, but not that long ago. Good friend of our family. They live in Costa Rica. They were flying. I think they were in Miami or something like that. They got, like, over the water. Or they were coming from Philly, and they were, like, about to get over the water. Like, the engine went. Okay, why are we talking about that? And then they fucking turned around. They landed.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
The next day, I think they got on the same plane. They fixed it, got on the same plane, and flew out.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Oh, man, that's rough. That's a good dad right there. That's a conversion van. Listen, how scared would you have to be? What type of signs would you have to be? The kid would have to be hysterically crying the first time that we tried to do that. Listen, I'll do it, but you're going to have to freak out to show me that you're really, really scared. You're not just saying, I don't want to fly.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I'm scared. Listen. I'm going to need you to have a tantrum, freak out. You're going to need medicine, the whole nine yards.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I mean, that is once is one thing. Every year. I hope that ain't Thanksgiving. That's a quick weekend. What?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
And you're staying for two weeks at least. Or the week.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
You got to wait till the kids are out of school. You're chewing up half the vacation, not to mention the fucking drive back.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
That's something we better have made with the present.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Every Transformer available at Toys R Us, please.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
There's a big difference between those congratulations and unfortunately's those emails.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Whoa. That had to be an uncle you thought was going to leave you money in the will. Yeah, you're going to check in. What are you bringing your dirtbag buddy for? Maybe at a ranch or something?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Okay, so they were sleeping for 10 hours. Then you, I don't know. You'd have to really make sure somebody's awake.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Now, my one buddy's mom in high school, she would date one freak after another. You know, guys that were real holistic and into this. And there was one guy who was trying to get us to come out with him to shroom in a yurt. To, like, have, like, a spiritual experience.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
But she dated a hypnotist, and we were over at his place. And maybe he hypnotized one of my buddies or something like that. I don't know. I didn't really buy that shit. Sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Listen, I've said this before. I was stunned to find out your leniency with that. You really paint me a bad guy. I'm just saying, growing up, it would have to be a minimum of five hours. Pee before you leave. My dad never wanted to stop. You're pretty willy-nilly with it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
What I was dipping into the that happened to me in college. I got shot down. King's College shot me down. I wanted to go there. All my cousins went there. Nah, didn't make it. Widener, no problem. Welcomed me with open arms. Until you burned that bridge and they had to escort you off premises. They also asked me to leave very quickly.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
If I know you're hungry, I know I can get a stop out of you because you want your combat.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
You like your honey roasted peanuts, don't you?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Oh, get in the butthole. Somebody scrub out that butthole. That'd be great. Sure. Man, that is a fucking great road trip, and that's a good friend right there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
But just think of how bad that car smelled. Dude shit in his pants. Grown man.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
When I say stop, you better pull over. Sure. What a fun one, gang. The Route 66 tour is going to be dropping February 25th. If you're watching this on Sunday or Monday, it comes out tomorrow.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
But when I was dipping into Navy Federal, because for a minute I was all over Navy Federal. Two grand here, three grand there, doing the loans. They didn't ask any questions. You were taking out little payday loans. Not even payday loans. Just straight up- They're not long-term loans. They're called personal no collateral loans.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
And we also can't thank you enough to letting us be able to do this.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
See you out on Route 66, gang. Peace. Peace.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
But when you got approved, it was right on the phone. Yeah, it's all good. If you weren't approved, which more often than not, that was the case, it was- All right, it's processing. Give us a few hours. Give me a fucking few hours. I know I'm screwed here. Yeah, I know I'm screwed. Just tell me now, lady.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I don't know. You got to give it to the kid. Luke, I guess. Spend it over to the kid.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
He's got a conversion van to maybe look forward to.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
So what are you doing, Cancun? I don't know what I'm doing. Spring break's right around the corner. You know what I'm saying? My co-host is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode here at Tootie's. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman, and I believe he just got shot down for a car loan. What?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
You got to throw a baseball around or something. When he asked you to teach him. I don't think you can play catch with a newborn.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Pack up the car, take him and the wife down to Florida in a couple of years. Screaming at him in the car. Sure. Scar him for life. Get down there. We're not getting that. That's how they get you.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
The fucking, you know, the screaming, the yelling, the... We did the famous Foley trip from mountaintop Pennsylvania all the way down to Dallas, Texas to see our cousins. Do you get time on that? Mountaintop Pennsylvania... To Dallas, Texas, in a Datsun, in a hatchback Datsun. They dropped the seats in the back. Everything was pushed to the back of the car. We had sleeping blankets.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
We had, I remember, a big bottle of Hi-C, snacks, all that stuff. Left in the middle of the night for some reason, probably traffic. Hey, traffic. Went all the way down there. Drove not straight through. I think we stopped once. Stayed at some motel. What's the time on that?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
It's like Route 66. Very similar. Car broke down. Uh-huh. Had to get the car fixed. Man, I remember my mom... We got there. There was a lot of crying. There was a lot of her apologizing. I'm sorry. I mean, we were just, we were like two gremlins in the backseat. Hot as shit, I'm sure. Yeah. I remember she grabbed me and I had her nails in my arm. She had to like clean me up when I got there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I had it coming, baby. Sure. It's all good, baby.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
What are you going to do? Choose the wrench? Spit my mouth. You got to build around it. You're pulling it. Yeah, that was the first big road trip, which it was awesome. You know what I mean? You're leaving. You're in the sleeping bag with your brother, all that kind of stuff. It was fun. I don't remember the drive back at all. They might have knocked us the fuck out.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James, Ryan, everybody. It's still pending, but it ain't looking great.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
Because of how fat I was. You know what was bad? Outside the car, too, a dead leg. A dead leg from the knee to the thigh to the ground. Fucking uno, dos, tres. Out. Killing it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley!
I'm going to a picnic. I'm bringing apples, bananas, and cards.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Attention, fellow dirtbags. The Back on the Block Tour starts this week, baby. We added a couple second shows, but tickets are going quick. Do yourself a favor. Grab the squad.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian and podcaster. Rising star on the comedy scene. Yes. One of the stars of that Kill Tony universe over there that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. You can hear him every week on the William Montgomery Show.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Fucking 14 year old kid run through the goddamn woods.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Kevin's talking about Ridge Wallets, baby. Shout out to Ridge Wallets. Gang, you're still carrying around that same bulky overstuff. And let's be honest, crusty leather wallet your grandfather gave you. Looked like a doofus. It's 2025. What are you doing? It's time to upgrade and meet Ridge Wallet, the sleek, minimalist wallet that's changing the game.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Ridge Wallets are extremely thin, yet can securely hold up to 12 cards, plus...
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Okay, let's talk about Rocket Money, baby. Rocket Money. Gang, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings, baby. Do yourself a favor. You think you're dropping this amount of money on subscriptions? I'm telling you, it's way more. Get Rocket Money. Find out.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
If you want to keep it, keep it. If not, get rid of them.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
But the big question on his mind today, is he garbage? I don't know if it's a big question. Sometimes you got to go away for a home game. Give it up for Casey Rockett, everybody.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah. What did you prefer about the Tuss and High? Why didn't you just drink?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Was it just like a high school with maybe prep years, like you could go a year after high school?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Nice facility with history and all that kind of stuff?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Let the kids sleep in. You got them doing stumps. You don't want to get up in the morning.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
How were the kids at the military school? Were they cool to you, or was there bullies and shit like that?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Going back to public school after that must have been...
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I don't know much, I'll be honest with you. Bit of a mystery. Give us the backstory. Give me the whole thing. Southern boy, no?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Were you reading for pleasure on your own while you were going through all this shit with the Tussin and all these, the rehabs and all that stuff? You were a reader. Sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
So you were writing papers and all that kind of stuff?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Talk about turning it the fuck around. Look at this. What was the name of the magazine?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
That's pretty good. What about the social scene in college?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
You say you're staying in the dorm, you're at your proper campus life. All right.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
How long were you in Austin before you popped on Tony?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Showering at friends, all that kind of stuff, making it work?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
You've got to be really drunk in public to get drunk in public.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
He's going to the stores that have a chase policy just for the thrill of it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
You are fucking all over the road, dude. What did your pop say now? He fucking went through all that shit with you? You got a solid, good career.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
When you guys moved to Georgia, did your parents split up? Is that why you moved?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I seen it pull up. I was like, that can't be him. Yeah. It's got the whip.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Is this apartment you have your first, like your own nice apartment?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
He's got a smart bed. What size is it? King, queen? Oh, Queen, come on. It's all right. You know better. Look at you. Okay, let's talk about Lucy, baby. Shout out to the good folks over at Lucy. Talking about Lucy Goods, 100% pure nicotine, always tobacco-free. Lucy Breakers are nicotine pouches with a little extra surprise.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Each pouch holds a capsule that can be broken open to release a little extra flavor and hydration. Keeping you hydrated. Set yourself up with a subscription so you have Lucy delivered straight to your door.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Gang, if you don't know Mando, first of all, you've been living under a rock or something like that. Here's a little reminder. Mando, deodorant isn't just for your armpits. All over body deodorant. Keep yourself fresh with Mando. Get on there. They got the wipes. They got everything. This company's blowing up over here.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
How rural are we talking about? How many people were in the town?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
You're a young guy. You're doing it step by step. You got the couch. You got the bed. Are you cooking over there now?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Let me ask you this. How much flying did you do before this took off?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I don't know what it meant, but I took it as disrespect. Holy shit. How did you like that?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
You go over there, you have a twist love affair. Yeah. Under the Parisian lights.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Have a little foie gras. Go out to the Palace of Versailles.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Man, he is. Throw and throw. You like a Baja Blast, don't you?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Did you get a lap dance or anything like that? Sure, I got a dance. I won't lie.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Touched the seat, touched your eye or something. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
And do that at, like, shows. It would be like a... Yeah, we're always at the horse shows when I was a kid.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Otherwise, for the most part, the families are doing okay? Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Wait a minute. You had a family farm at a certain point. Your mother had a family.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
So she's a good trainer. Not bad. What about medical-wise? You got insurance? You got health insurance? I just got it last month. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I'm with it. How do you like to travel since that's new to you? Do you like a nice hotel? Do you like a hotel? Anything particular?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
You were just bragging to the boys. That's what you were doing.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
How often do you fly out to Atlanta or bring her here? How's that work?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
It's true. I fucking love this shit. Look at him, man.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Is that what I was going to ask you? Where do you spend your Christmas?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
charlie kaufman this is all like different directors and then pictures of me dressed as grimace so do you have that little tiny mirror that he used to look through it's a meditation it's a form of meditation i mean so i you know pretty open and closed case i think we have here you're flossing every day
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
You keep the apartment clean. You got a vacuum and all that stuff.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
It's going to sound crazy. You're going to think I'm nuts. I genuinely don't know if the kid's garbage. I really don't know.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I wouldn't say how he operates now when I deem that garbage. He's got his shit fucking together.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
You're trying and it ain't there. What are you reading right now?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, I piss in the shower. Brush your teeth in there? Yeah. You leave the toothbrush in there? Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Man, what if that's the moment where it would all turn around?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Are you writing anything currently? Are you writing anything long form right now?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Writing scripts. Writing a script. Kid's got a laptop. What do you got, a Mac?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I mean, come on, what are we doing? I love them, buddy. We love you. 100% garbage.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
But man, honestly, bro, what a fucking tale. And congratulations. Thank you.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I'm not coming to get you. Take it easy on a lunch meet.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Runs in the family. Took over the family business. I'm going to chip off the old blot.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Does he go and like do the show, like do the like he's a is he a pitch man?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
So he's like a big break away from being like a Billy Mays.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah. But they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on another beautiful day down here in Tejas, Austin, T. Cody is having the time of her life down here. Tonight, she's sitting in on the keyboard for that Gary Clark Jr.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
And did you get along with your stepmom and the family and all that kind of stuff?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
So your mom gets remarried. The financial situation improves a little bit. Her husband. Yes. She gets a house. Your dad has a house. Did your mom have more kids or no?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Tickling the ivories, baby. She's not going to want to go back. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. Slightly amused this week.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
That they had? Yeah. So you're the only one going back and forth? Yes. Two proper rooms in each house?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
What kind of stuff would you do to get in trouble? Give me an example.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
And what happened when you ran out of rehab after 10 days? What'd they say about that? Are they springing the bill for this too? Or is it like the state?
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
A red band. They get together. I hear there's a whole town made of gingerbread. They meet up at their meetings and fucking share stories.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Just curious how much. Just for my personal information. This is a what if.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Oh, yeah. Hi. It's like oddly turned on and also very, very scared.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Everyone's Latino. That's no white as shit. Yeah. I have tons of friends. They're great, admirable people. No one says that.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
He sounds like he's never talked to a girl before. Yeah, this is freaking me out.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
What a reference. Oh. You know that show no one watches? That's what it feels like I'm on right now. What are you talking about? It's a good show.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Wow, look at that. Have you guys seen Laser before? I haven't. This guy's fun. I mean, I've seen your clips and stuff. You're fucking awesome, dude. Who doesn't like him? That's crazy. I mean, the fucking powerhouse.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
He fucking killed. That was fantastic, man. Congratulations. Killed it. Thank you. He's a creepy motherfucker, but he's funny.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Dude, the way he looks at you like a bird, it's crazy. His head turns fully around.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Buddy, we're not even going to charge you to copay. You got enough fucking problems.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
I don't even think he worked. He just went to Express and they let him fold the clothes.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
That's why they're dropping out of the sky. Are you a pilot? Oh, no.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Right, but... You get some fucking water. I think he might still... You put it in your mouth. Tony, what are you getting? Yeah. Let's get some Xanny bars and figure this out.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
How far is the gym? I feel like now he suspects Foley broke the knob on the volume.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
That ring's tight as shit, too. I need the jaws of life to get off. That thing's never coming off.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
A hard working. Then I'd have a Hummer. A military one. Before they switched over. The one that Schwarzenegger had. I was just going to say. The one where you pull up with the butt of a cigar lid. Sorry, you already done a lot of work that day.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
One of those, a chain townhouse with the boys. Have the boys down there. By patio house.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
You don't die in there. Your turtle does.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
I also got a piss guy. Yeah, you get someone to piss for you. I got a piss guy. What's his name made it through? Man, this guy's pretty bulletproof. Who was the kid from the Dolphins? Ricky Williams. Yes.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
He got pinched a couple of times, but still.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
When he said he couldn't. He's like, I couldn't have played those games and done that well if I wasn't smoking weed.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
I would do a team sweatsuit. Team sweatsuit. Travis Kelsey showing up in that Saturday Night Fever outfit.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Can you fucking, can you sex me up? I need some chomper.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
If I got the cash, hopefully the metal takes on my mouth.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Hey, doc, I can see the future. Is that normal? Yeah, he's like, I go...
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Wait, what do you mean the back of the head you got sliced?
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
I see, but that's not bad. How far out of surgery? That was like a week after surgery. That's pretty good.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
It's funny, the beginning of the game, I was like – But then by the end, I'm like, all right. He grew on me, man. He's not bad. Lose the watch. Come on. We know you're right. The watch. I mean, it's crazy. He wants to flex.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Was that ever an option? For me? Hey, would you ever wear a piece?
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
If you went that route, you would have had to become like a fucking, you know, like a fitness coach for like a high school team or something.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
White socks halfway up the ankle.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Yeah, he goes, don't take his helmet off. You got the cash. You got the muscles. It didn't matter. You go do rag. True.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
You have to have a champ guy somewhere. He's having a bit of a resurgence. Yeah. Gotta have a jeweler somewhere. Yeah. Do you remember Jacob the Jeweler? Yeah.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
But she grew on me, too. In the beginning, I'm like, these two fucking bozos.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
My freshman year- Their shops were never nice, though. Isn't that weird?
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
But his original one. Remember, I've seen his original one. It was like upstairs. If I'm thinking of the same guy. I don't know. It was like a regular thing, and he had like $5 million pieces. You don't got a window or nothing like that?
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
He said he's not going to play second fiddle to Brady. But doesn't Brady have a piece of the Raiders now?
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Yeah, I went to University of Arizona. Oh, okay. That's pretty good. Yeah, I mean, when you guys were in high school, he's taking off to Yale. You go to the University of Arizona.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
His grades were that good? Because there's no scholarships, no flight scholarships.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
I've always been petrified of UNLV. Why? Back in the 80s. The basketball team. Larry Johnson. They were fucking. Tarkanian. Tarkanian.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
So can he still announce? I don't think so.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
You were the scum of, you were looked down upon. Yes. This is sodas and coffee cups. Yes.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
But there wouldn't be a goodbye.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Making it real awkward. Yeah. I'm making it worse. I feel like we should get out in front of this thing. You can't get out of the stadium. You're like dragging on locks. Yeah.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Are you wearing a chain during the game? If I'm in the NFL? Yes. Ah. Yeah, but it's Christian. Of course. What are we doing here? I can't believe more guys do that and that there's like an unwritten rule. The first thing I would do would be rip one of those off. Well, that was the Crabtree Richard Sherman thing. That was their beef.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
That long hair. I'd be grabbing Kittle's hair.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
It's allowed. It's part of the jury. It's considered part of the jury. But it's an unwritten rule. They don't. Usually. Cut your fucking hair.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
I got a big thing about this because we were just talking about it. A little more subtle, I feel, baseball. You got training camp, then you got spring training. I'd much rather be at spring training. Oh, my God. Doesn't it seem like they're just having catches and getting steaks and massages and hanging out?
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
He doesn't have the sinker ball to be pulled at all.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
good friends with Pete Davidson when he was like young and he was on while and out he spent his money on a Cuban link he's like I bought a I bought a pretty expensive Cuban link and it was like a fat thick one and you're like I respect it when we did our first sold out show at helium we wanted to take all the money and rent a helicopter to fly from New York to Philly
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
A walnut landing on a fucking roof on Walnut Street. There's something awesome about spending all the money. Like Shaq's first story. He's like, I spent all the money.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
You get that kind of money? IVs. When you get to the IV game.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
A doctor on the payroll coming in at night and putting you in night night. Have you had the shit that Michael Jackson died from? I think I might have.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Yeah, I might have had a little propofol. Propofol, that's what it is.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
I just had an endoscopy and a colonoscopy.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
My gastro guy is about 100 years old. The doctor that did my actual procedure was the hottest girl I've ever seen in my life. And I'm like, man, you're about to see.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
I tried to play it cool when I came out. I had everything look. She was like, bleh.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
It feels awesome. You feel... I fought it as hard as I could before they put me to sleep, too. As hard as I could just to get that little ride.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
But I had an angiogram a couple years ago, and I think they used fentanyl, and this was a twilight sleep.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
And like halfway through, I could feel the thing going on my arm. I had to tell the kid. I was like, what are you saving this for the weekend? Fucking Jew hit me. The fuck are we doing here?
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Yeah, dude. In the middle of the procedure. Let's go.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Guys, he's still up. Is your boss here? What the fuck? I ain't no bubble gummer.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Jody, will you post up in here and watch a game?
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
He's like, shut the fuck up, man. Those two Christmases, though, not too shabby. No way. That's not a wrestling set and a PlayStation. Dude, that is a car and a house.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
It was definitely an Eggo waffle involved in the morning. Yeah.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
How much does a set of those cost, by the way?
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
The devil had to give you a stick at the crossroads.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
How much is he in? For the Raiders? I think he's a minor owner. You still get to show up to the games and all that. You get free drinks and all that shit, right? Oh, my God. You own it. The swag.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
He's like, oh, dude. I'm in sixth grade. That's where you get him, in the parking lot of a Dave Matthews. That's where you have to go. I think that's how Dave really made all of his money. You got to go down to Dover.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
It's all right. You act like I'm not a white guy from Colorado? That thing kicks up. That and Crash. I don't care who you are. Rest of it, get me out of here.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Give it up for widespread Kevin, everybody.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Overconfident, devil sticks, summer camp, fat kid. That is a recipe for virginity. I'm going to tell you right now, that's a crash stew.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
It's weird. Push it. You're so not used to that.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
I got long fingernails and a beard, and I go, guys, lift me. Lift me out of my seat. Whenever anybody, like a comic, would get a writing job, like an SNL or on the Tonight Show, my first question, congratulations, that's awesome. They buy you lunch. Because that's where my head, the spread should be in there every day. That's if you got hired.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
That's usually us, too. You need to prime the pump.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
I'm not going to fucking get it back up here. I'm like two for ten at this point.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Man, I'm operating at a deficit right now.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
i'll have that sometimes not to be too vulgar when i'm jerking off i'll miss it yeah does that make sense i'll like be like super charged up and i'll be right there and then something will happen dude and i'll just miss it and i'll know when you're like all right that happens in the shower you know what happened you're like this ain't happening young men you're sweating in the shower you're looking at the three of us going there's no way it'll ever happen to you then you hit your mid-30s and there's this one day you're in a hotel room and you're jerking off and you go
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
It's wacky over there. Fuck, you know what? I'm not into it anymore. But I remember the feeling like when you were a kid and you jerk off and then afterwards, you know, Irish cat, you feel the guilt. Oh. But it's so worse when you do it as an adult and then nothing in there. Like, it just comes and it goes. You're just like...
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
And they're just smashing into each other. Seeing Ruth and for me.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Those guys were just more men, I think, than we are as well, too. They also fought in wars and shit.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Yeah, we're getting lunch, right? Not where your office is. You're paying for lunch, you're a fucking dickhead. You're buying your own sodas at the stadium, you own 5% of the joints? Yeah. I'll work here, but I want two things, to meet Will Ferrell and free lunches.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
That smoke session outside when you weren't around. What the fuck?
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
I like how he said Route 66, too. Route 66. Route. Route 66. Is it Detroit or Detroit? Detroit. Detroit. How do you say Oregon? Oregon. Oregon. Oregon. How do you say Illinois?
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Caribbean. Multiple feet. Is it six foot or six feet? It's about six foot. Six feet. Six foot. That's good. Six feet. Yeah. Six feet. It's about six foot away.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
hamburger patty hamburger patty hamburger patty were you a patty kid were you frozen patties in the in the freezer yeah crack them open with the with the butter knife my mom was pretty good at making them too my trish could cook so there wasn't uh could your mom make a decent hamburger when you were a kid yeah my mom it took my mom 30 years i know you're watching this trish so i'm gonna get a text about that trish
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Otherwise, same backstory. Instead of comedy.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
I would roll it over into an IRA. If you mean money manager as in coke guy, I'm with you.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Definitely getting a chain made.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Yeah, you're a back story. Everything's the same. I would. You went to Penn State, and you were an awesome lineman. Also, glue guy in the locker room.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Route 66. Just walked out of our last editing session. Oh, are you guys happy with it? Nope.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
You're currently driving a 96 Corolla. Yeah. I got a 96 Dodge Stratus, which is what I had. Okay. White Dodge Stratus.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Dude, you watch it so many times. We figured out the intro. We weren't happy with the intro. Because we did, like, a voiceover, like, you know, guys, welcome to the Route 66 tour.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
But wait, if the signing bonus is two million, what's the contract looking like? I mean, I don't know.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Are you buying this house in the city you're playing, or are you keeping it in her hometown? Hometown. So you're going to go back? Need my roots. Okay. Got to stay level-headed. All this money coming in. All this pussy getting through.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
I feel like a lot of these guys, they have a good head on their shoulders. They know the girl loves them for them. They want to be a part of the team and shit like that. You know what I mean? They hang on to that. They're all cheating, but still.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
But that kid moves tickets. He's a fucking natural showman. I heard he just added a second show in Pittsburgh. Dude, he has got it.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
Yeah, that's the cat. Also, it has to be the year you would have graduated. So for me, it would have been 94. Man, I'd have been hanging. I'd have been down at the fucking Viper Room with Johnny Depp spiking up.
Soder
70: Devil Sticks with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 68
I probably, at that time, would have gotten a Camry and just murdered it out. Like rims. They were so great back then. Toyota Camry. The 96 Camry. That's the wackiest shit.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah. Love a good Malbec. Love a good Malbec. That's true.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, why not? Really? I love it, yeah. That's a man.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
That's a long week.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Almost got thrown out of Three Forks down there. That steakhouse. Nice steakhouse. Embarrassing ourselves. We went day drinking at noon.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
You're going to die in an Uber pool on the way home.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
We did. We were just embarrassing. We were not dressed properly. We were drunk as shit. We were yelling at each other for what we ordered. Yeah. And it was just a scene. Yeah, but no, it was. Maynard, he didn't think so.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
We were at a regular square four-top or whatever, and we ordered so many appetizers that they flipped the Leafs out underneath us.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
He's like, I'm good.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, and I was in the aisle. Oh.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
It was bad. I love the Leaf. But we're still drinking. We're off the heaters, though.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Cigarettes are fucking, that's bad stuff. Yeah, the coolest thing in the world.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah. Eh, cocaine's pretty tough, to be honest with you.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Eh, I would argue against that, too.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
What are you doing?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
It's a curtain.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Ooh. Sure. We don't have to test a cigarette for fentanyl. I always had the idea, though, back in the day, if I did it, I would wait 10 seconds, and I'd be like, well, if something was in it, you'd already be dead.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, but I'm just saying, after the first 10 seconds, you're like, I'd be dead already.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I like how you said you weren't going to do it, but did you test it? A little window shopping. It's not a check spot for the checks.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Really? They're longer, though. They kind of like do them at the end and like a few people kind of eat them a little bit. Yeah, I think they do like four or five minute sets after when the checks get dropped. I was always petrified of him. I never really did him. Tommy Cassidy, when he first got up here, he was a fucking machine with them. He'd do them at Stand Up New York and murder.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah. Get like two or three people that everybody close out the checks. You'd kind of gather the audience back a little bit.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
What are we doing? You're here to see that guy, and you're going to hurt his performance? That would always fascinate me, like, watching, like, you know, back in the day, watching, like, oh, they're killing, they're killing. And then they'd get to it, and they'd be like, oh, the checks. And then they would kind of, like...
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
They'd drop down like a speed in their set, and then they'd fucking come right back and be killing them. Like, holy shit. Yeah. That's awesome. Take a credit card. What are we doing? I know. Exactly.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
By the way, was that an old clip of that lady yelling at you that you posted recently? On Twitter? No, she was yelling at you at that New York comedy club.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Now they're booing her. That's a great feeling, isn't it? I know.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah. Oh, thanks.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I had that not long ago and did not put any comedy into it at all. I kind of like was just like, what the fuck? Yeah, because it was it was a rough show. There was a table of four that was there that was causing a lot of trouble. And the host came out was like, hey, there's this table up front, really rough. They got them out. And then I got up there and like the crowd wanted to laugh.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Like, I think Eagle went on before me. He got them back and ready to go. All that stuff. Yeah. And then these two like college girls to the right were just whispering the whole time. And I was just like, what the fuck? I'm like, we just got this nightmare out of you. Yeah. And you're doing this. I'm like, who the fuck raised you? Yes. And before that, I was doing like a fat guy mayonnaise joke.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
What the fuck is this guy talking about? You're stepping all over my cerebral bits. It was a pin drop.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
did they throw those girls out no i kind of smoothed it over okay nice actually some some lady in the audience smoothed it over and brought everybody together hell yeah and then i apologized to them and i'm like i just want you to understand whatever having a rough day and fucking walk in this bullshit but yeah they just stared at me like what damn which is the worst when then all of a sudden you're the asshole exactly exactly you know but i didn't get the crowd on my side
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Sure. But also, too, the raw emotion of it. You're a fucking human being. Yeah, I got feelings, too.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
That's funny. Why does the club send that?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
It was a joke. My husband's an alligator. Yeah. That's not true. He's in prison.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Go to the parade. In any facet of anything, okay, I don't know what it would take for me to send like a customer service email. I don't know what they would have to do to me in any facet of life for me to send this strongly worded email.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Did you get rid of them the next day?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
It's crazy to actually write something. But restaurants, I will give you that. I walk in and get a bad crab rangoon, I'm going to be fucking furious.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Stay in nice hotels. I'm not on trial here. This guy bombed in Rhode Island. That was years ago.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Get up and start doing the bits here.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah. Wait till you get to Reno. We do half hours, but I know what you're talking about.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
That was night one of the road. I know. That movie saved my life. Mixed reviews. Just so you know, I would have gave it a GoFundMe. How about that? It's not real nice. I don't know. Not anonymous. I don't know how to brag about it.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Like Hannibal Lecter.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, something garbage.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, you guys are killing it. We have some questions for y'all.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Whoa, okay. On YouTube? On YouTube. Check it out, man. Have you ever bombed in Rhode Island?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
And the lady in the parking lot, same thing.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yes. You're filming yourself.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I think about that all the time. We were on a flight with Susan Lucci. Whoa. Mama. Let me tell you something. 78 years old. Really? I would have made a move right there in the aisle.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
That's about you.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
We're going to start doing that.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
A sauna. Yeah. That's crazy. There's guys that do it now that are like, I don't know why they're doing it, but they'll be in front of a business, and they'll be filming the business. And they're also baiting the owner to come out and be like, hey, man, what are you doing? Public property. I'm filming. Don't touch me. And the guy touches his camera, and he fucking pepper sprays him.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
It's like, what the fuck? Holy shit.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
But if that would have crashed, though, they wouldn't have said nothing about us. Looks good. Looking real good. Sweetheart, too.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Damn, they always bust this guy's chops, man.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I bet you still got in the tank, too. I wouldn't want to fuck with him. No.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
You talked to her? I said, you can go ahead. And she's like, oh, thank you so much.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Look at these guys. He's a good-looking older guy now. All of them are good-looking. Oh, my God. These guys must have toured through. Baldwin Young was a different kind of good-looking. Yes. He looks like two different people. He's a good-looking dude now. Right. But back then, holy shit. Oh, those are the Coke years. Foley bought a few off that guy. No test strips back then.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Good times. Could have been Jack Ryan for those other two movies. Yeah, he was Jack Ryan in one, right? Yeah, he was on for an October. Yeah, yeah.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
He was a hot guy. It's crazy.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Always be closing. Today's man, suit on, still making it work. Hey, Bill Burr in Glen Gary. Yeah? We got to go see that, man. Oh, yeah. Pretty cool.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
passed them by at the cellar once or twice but that's about it his episode on here is one of my faves we got i mean i want to get him back but it's hard to ask a broadway actor to come in he's got one day off now totally acting wise he was in the first season of the mandalorian he was great in it then came back for the second season man his episode he's unbelievable really oh so good if you would have told him 20 years ago he'd be in star wars he would have kicked in the balls yeah
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, we do.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Somebody gave it to us at a show. Migs Mayfield. Great. Oh, yeah. Migger, please.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
But Billy's a hunk. 1976, Long Island. Man.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Tag teaming chicks. High fives all around. They had to be the best looking guys in Long Island.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
That guy's getting ass because of his music.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
You know what's funny is sometimes when you're out on Long Island, you see, you know, like they had such a big music scene in the 80s where like the hair bands that didn't make it out but still made a killing out there and like played locally. Oh, yeah. You see some of those guys now in like their 60s.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
And they still have the hair, and you're like, oh, you were a fucking bass player for fucking White Lotus or something like that in 1985.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
We're not going to take it. Was there a big MTV hit? We're not going to take it. And had the guy from Animal House in it, Niedermeyer. He was like the mean guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
That's crazy, man. That's scary. Crazy. You could have been dead.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Or saxophone duel. Yeah. I feel like that's coming back a little bit, by the way. Duels? The horns. Oh, hell yeah. Not that they're in popular music. I think they're coming back. The sax specifically.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
One of the drivers falling asleep. I need a little twisted sister on the road, dude.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Because, I mean, you guys experience this more. But the first night on the bus or something like that when you don't really know the driver. Yep. Oh, no, no.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
They're always packed out, though.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
This place is bumping.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
What's the place on the corner across the street from Ben's? Oh, yeah. The Groove, yeah. It does all right. Yeah, you want to film a special there, you mean?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, that's a lot of effort, man. Spreading your cheeks and all that stuff. It's like, dude, just roll with it.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
A hover?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Not saran wrap. What do you call it? The paper? Yeah. The ring? I can't do it. I need the cheeks to catch.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I'll flush the toilet. Yeah. I'll take the toilet paper, do a little dab of the water in the toilet, and then wipe off the seat.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
See? You're not in good company. What are you talking about?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
You could do it on the way in.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, that's not the classy move of that. That's pretty gross. And plus, that also means you're used to fucking squatting and shitting, which isn't great. Yeah, the squatting shouldn't thing.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
It's just elevation, right?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
That's how your colon or whatever is shaped. You're the guy in black and white on the infomercial standing on two telephones.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah. Did you report this to the company or anything like that?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I didn't realize there was levels to them. There's heights to them.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, I felt like a Russian astronaut.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Do you do that to line up the spine? I do. I do it just so I need the comfort. One between my knees and I hug one.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I know.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, what are we doing? I know what he's saying. When I get into bed and the comforter is fresh and the sheets are fresh, I have audible. Yeah. And then I lift the blanket up and put the comforter between my legs.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
That's a rite of passage.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah. I didn't know. I didn't see me for white trash. I did raw hot dogs. I did dog food. I did dirt. And I did my mom's roll-on deodorant. Which was weird.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, I would lick it. I would lick my mom's roll of deodorant.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
But he had blood on him or nothing like that. You could have straightened the guy out.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
What flavor deodorant are we talking about? Does it matter?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Because it was like, it was that baby powdered flavor. I don't know why I would do it.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah. I would also, anytime there was a bottle of cough medicine around, I would grab it and chug it. My mom would freak out.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
It's an antibiotic. Yes.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Crazy shit, dude. This is my girl right here. Was she eating that?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I don't think that's right. I think that's just like doing that for the video. The only one that's good is you go to a diner, you get a pat of butter that's in the foil. They take a fork and poke it in there, and then you squeeze that, and it comes out like Play-Doh. That's kind of cool. Take that to the bank. Like a baked potato or something?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
No. What? Are you writing these as these are going?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
100%.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
It's great.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
That's one of the things that we're lucky with. We weren't headliners before we did this. You know, I was hosting in the city. He was doing road work. So we were able to have the experience off rip where we were going out with somebody. And I feel like everybody's doing that now more so than ever. Like, you know, Gary, everybody's taking the boys, all that kind of stuff, and everybody's together.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
It makes it so much better. It makes the road bearable. Like an 80s headliner.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Sure.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Sure.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Like, in the last, like, 10 years. Yeah, yeah. Less than that, probably.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
U2, All the Boys. It's crazy to see.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
It's insane. So when Kill Tony was at the Garden, we went and watched, and it was just like, is this nuts?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
sold out shows at the goddamn garden and they were showing videos of like you know the history starting out in the basement of wherever they were yeah it's crazy it's great to see I saw Shane working out his SNL monologue last night and it's fun to watch of course the second I'm hosting and then
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
It'll be out.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
We had him, O'Connor, and Pope do spots on a pop-up show we did at the Creek. Man, he goes out there and fucking.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
A gadouge. Yeah. Murdering. It's fun.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I bet him once again, not indirectly, but made a fool of myself. I was hosting for Keith at Helium, maybe, like, 2018 or whatever. Keith was running his hour. And he's like, listen, Gavin might come in. If he comes in...
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
you know I'll give you the signal you come up get me and bring him up and they never came back they came in but they never came like back to the green room so like Keith got to a certain point in his set and like looked at me like are we good are we good and then he goes give it up for Kevin Hart nothing didn't come up and it was just like this awkward 30 seconds and then Kevin Hart came through the crowd and jumped up on stage man Keith gave it to me in the fucking green room he's like the last thing you said was you got it laughing
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Exactly.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
What did he do? When the Punchline opened, he did like, what, like 20 shows in a row.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yes. Oh, yeah.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
No shit. If anybody can pull it off, it's Cooper. Love a Coop. Shout out to him.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, I waited on him probably 2016. I worked at this place on the corner of Bedford and Morton, which was like kind of a who's who of a neighborhood. Like Sofia Coppa lived down the street. That's when Louie lived there. Maybe it was a little earlier. It was when Louie was filming Louie. Wow. And I would see him walking his kids to school, liking the show. Wow.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
And then, like, two days later, you would see him filming Louie on the street. Wow. Same clothes, same glasses, the whole nine yards. It was surreal. But it was one snowy day, and I was in there by myself, fucking sure as shit. He comes rolling in. And he sat down at the bar. I got him an oatmeal and a mint tea, and we were talking. He went to a high school. We're about the same age.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
He went to, like, a private school right in my area. So we knew a couple of the same people.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
And we were talking a little bit. I remember like, hey, do you know so-and-so? He's a lacrosse player. And I remember looking at him and he goes, you play lacrosse? That was the goal.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
He's a real renaissance, man. Also, I think he was just a camera operator on some movie. He was working a movie. What? He was a camera op on a movie. Really?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
What was he doing a benefit for?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Okay.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
He killed it in the announcement on the fucking Super Bowl. Oh, yeah. Bringing out the birds. He was great. Go, birds. You guys must be fucking thrilled about that.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
That's as close as a Philadelphia team can manage. They sacked him five times. They fucking stripped him, knocked him in the face. Kelsey didn't do shit. I fucking loved it. Hell, yeah. Nothing against them personally, but that was great. No, it's personal. Do you hate Travis and love Jason? I don't hate them.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I mean, he's an awesome tight end. Yeah. Yeah, I hate that motherfucker. I was waiting for it.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
It's always the stories you hear, too. Maybe they're not that famous. I said no at first, and they had to really come and beg me to do it, and I decided to do it. Yeah. It's like, I did you. Did you? I know. Exactly. Some of those guys at that level, maybe. Yeah, no, it's true. But... Yeah, he was like making shoes or something like that. Dee Snider.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
That first one was a home run. That was a heat check.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I'm going to be a gigolo twice. Tim Meadows was in that, too, wasn't he? I don't remember. What isn't he in? Yeah, I think Tim Meadows was like his guide in that in the beginning. He's fucking great. Yeah. The ladies' man. Yeah. Yes. Maybe that's what I'm thinking of.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Oh, yeah.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Nice. Who, Rock?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Did she smell what the rock was cooking? Did you drag her around? Like, where is he? Point me out.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
You've got to get a confession, man. Not at all. You've got to bring Detective Benson in for that one. Plus, that pepper spray's hit or miss. It could just piss somebody off. Mmm. Bear spray.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
We had a kid do it in high school in the stairwell. Yeah. It fucking fucked up everybody.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Don't test it. Is that gel? I like a pomade myself. A gel?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
No mist.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I'm writing an email. That's it. I knew this was a bad idea. One star.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Does it smell like peppers?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
How bad is this shit? Stuffed?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, I'm not getting it either. All right. It's like an aerosol hairspray kind of thing. I'm getting a little lightheaded. Yeah.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah. All right, we're fine. I had a piece of granola caught in my throat last night. Oh, that'll get you. Oh, man. Damn. I do love some granola, though, man. A little yogi with a little bit of honey.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
You'll drive?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
You know, I have a trick for Chobani. If you're Chobani people out there. Sure. Throw it out and get a sandwich. Hey, it's good. Take that, Rhode Island. Shake it up. Before you open it, you don't stir it. Shake it up and then open it. And it's all mixed in. Oh. Go ahead. Try it out on the road.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
He's asking the fancy peanut butter.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I don't have peanut butter in the house, but yeah, I wouldn't buy that. Really?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I'm a big peanut butter guy.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I eat it by the spoonful. Me too. I do a peanut butter spray.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
You do peanut butter. You caught it? I caught it.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
You do peanut butter by the spoonful. I love it. You don't do that?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I don't know. There's no tobacco in them. I've been on them, but they're fucking my mouth up.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I love Nutella.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I bet he was a bit of a hazelnut.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Oh. Maybe. Nudella. The co-creator of Nutella. Died February 13th.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
That's a legacy.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Someone's going to be real happy when he gets back home.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
She's coming next. Speaking of Taffer, he's not doing the shows that much anymore. He subs them out. It's some other bozo. What? Yeah, the guy's not even wearing a bad blazer. Guest host? Somebody.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I love Taffer.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
He just makes you want to go to a casual dining restaurant, get the signature cocktail, some potato skins, and just sit down and drink and get fucked up.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah. She's always in a bad mood. They always got like loops in and the hair and stuff like that. Their names are always in there. None of that bullshit works at a busy restaurant on a Friday night. Get out. Get out of here.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
You fucking idiot. 20 bags of stepped-on Coke. That's how this bar's going to survive.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Find the other ones. The guy who's like, you know, just wait. What I want to know is who was such a dick to Gordon Ramsay? Right.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
It's funny, he's so tough, but he makes the most delicate eggs.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Should we plug some dates you guys got coming up? We got the Route 66 special out now. Yeah, go check that out.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Funny you mention that.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Hell yeah.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
One of the best clubs. I love all those good. Charlotte Comedy Zone, Killbox.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Bert's guy will not drive that. I'm always so tempted to say yes just to see what goes on in there. No one's ever asked you if you were Jewish. Yeah, they do. Around Hanukkah, the kids come up to you in the park and they say you're Jewish. That's a lot of rugelach. I always don't know. You got a kishkin. There I am. I'll tell you that. Yeah. Holy shit. That's wild, man.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Thank you so much.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I don't think they want the backlash.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Dude, it's crazy. That's the point. It's all low-rent shit, too. It's not like the engine blew up. It's like a tire. Right. The hubcaps came off or something like that.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, he got lucky. Yeah, he got lucky as shit.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah, it was flying, allergic to spiders, got bit by a stowaway tarantula. Yikes.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
A tarantula?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
God fucking spiders. It was from Australia or something.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I don't know. Got in the cockpit and bit him. Yeah. No superpowers either. I got screwed. Iberia. Now, who the fuck is flying that? Yikes. Me and the bird went to Greece last year. Hell yeah. And we flew into Athens. Now, you could either take an eight-hour ferry from Athens to Santorini, or you can take one of their local, small, mom-and-pop airlines. Oh, boy.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Took the fucking ferry. Me too. I did the exact same trip. Fuck that. Really? Yeah. Eight-hour ferry.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
We got a room. We got a room. And they weren't any better. Yeah, that was rough. I could see that thing tipping over. But I wasn't flying one of those planes in the Santorini. Really? Fuck that shit. A little puddle jumper? No. What? A propeller? Ryan Hamilton's got the great jet power to get me off the ground.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
What? I live here. He's a guy who got hit by a bus.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
It was a shuttle too, wasn't it? Wasn't it like an airport shuttle or something like that?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
You got the scary thing out of the way. That's what they say. You have a better chance of getting in an accident coming home from the airport.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Did your parents force that into you when you were a kid? Don't ever dive into a pool no matter what. My mom scared the shit out of us.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Some say it wasn't the hot tub, it was the ketamine, but I see where you're going. It's a bad combo, though. If he was drinking coffee, I think he'd be all right.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
We got to ban these tubs.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Do you guys think about that on the road, like when you're in a hotel, like, oh, if I go in here, they'll come in and get me?
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Usually one of us will be down there scouting it out. I already got eyes on it. It sucks.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Don't say that.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
I don't like the word angel. Demon of death.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Yeah.
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Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
Angel of death makes it sound like a good pool player or something like that. Good with the stick. Versus the black widow. How did he end up in a pool after he got caught?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 221: Are You Garbage - H.Foley & Kevin Ryan with Mark Normand and Sam Morril
No shit. He fled. He's down in Argentina, probably. Oh, yeah. Sipping the Malbecs. Mm-hmm. No way Hitler didn't get out.