Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host Sam Tallent! We're talking poison ham, buying a home and traveling the world. You know Sam Tallent from stand up comedy, the Joe Rogan Experience, Kill Tony, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast w/ Shane Gillis, Sam Tallent's Wide World, Stavvy's World, Soder, You Be Trippin with Ari Shaffir, James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Square: Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at https://square.com/go/GARBAGE Bilt Rewards: Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to https://joinbilt.com/garbage Factor: Get started at https://factormeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. Mint Mobile: Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at https://mintmobile.com/GARBAGE. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What announcement do the hosts have for listeners?
Gang, we got a big announcement. The Back on the Block tour is going on sale tomorrow, Thursday, 10 a.m. Local time. Woo! Do yourself a favor. Get some tickets. We're coming to a city near you. We're doing big shows, some of our favorite spots. We can't wait to see you out there.
Chapter 2: What cities will the Back on the Block tour visit?
Yeah, starting in September, we're in San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, then Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, at the Met. The biggest show we've ever done. Let's go. Then we're doing Rochester, New York, and Toronto, Canada.
Yeah.
Chapter 3: Who are the hosts of Are You Garbage?
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that they're good to be classy, but they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition.
She just hopped back from the Wu-Tang concert. She was hanging out with the boys late night. She'll be sleeping one off today. Shout out to RZA. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is what we call the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available now on Spotify over there. Check that out. And then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang.
Yes, sir. And, gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly, special guest. He's back with us again today. I think it's his third time or fourth time on the show.
Third time, I believe.
Very funny stand-up comedian. Accomplished author. Random house author. All right. It's going to be over in the UK in May. It's going to be in Australia in July. But we got him right here at Toadies. Give it up for the one, the only, Mr. Sam Tallon, everybody. Hey, man.
Sammy. Man, you really fired it up for that one. Yeah, man.
I can turn it on when I need to. Yeah, you were like Morose when I got here. It's like someone hits him with a shot of beef tallow.
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Chapter 4: What hilarious stories does Sam Tallent share about Japan?
Beautiful.
I just came from the deer blind.
When's the last time you were in Japan? I get hung up on... I feel like you're in Japan every other weekend.
Very well-traveled you are. I like it out there in the world. The world's beautiful. It's nice. Also, hey, to your listeners, the cherry blossoms are in bloom across this country. Get out there and see them right now. Of course. I was in Japan Christmas until... I was there for like 16 days at the beginning of the year. How many times is that? This was my third time in Japan.
That's crazy.
In like the last two years. I did take my dad, I took my sister, my brother-in-law. It was awesome. My brother-in-law, I don't know if I should tell this story. But anyway, we had a really good time. Let's just say they're pretty stringent about who they let in.
Really?
Oh yeah. No kidding. Oh man, they do not like to open their doors to anyone with a murky past. Someone who made mistakes as a youth, it's not his fault. No kidding.
It's a product of the system. What do they do when they see you over there? You're a tall gentleman. They go like this.
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Chapter 5: Why does Sam keep ham in his basement?
Are you handy around the house? No, dude. No. You sub all that out? You just go get a handyman?
I bring a man in.
Yeah, me too. Did you have to do anything when you bought the home?
Yeah, give my wife a checkbook. Here, honey. Do you have a checkbook? I had to work in Toledo. Yeah. Do you have a checkbook? I have four checks. They're like in the gun safe. That's good.
In the gun safe. Once a year, I'm like, I'll get a check. That's old cowboy shit. Yeah. Because we don't have checks. I don't know anybody that uses checks. I do. You have checks? I have checks, yeah.
What are you writing checks to?
Not to me.
I got to pay my mortgage every month.
He's got a secret family in Tuscaloosa.
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Chapter 6: What does Sam Tallent think about his new house?
That's pretty good. Do you have one of those wax things, too, where you put the little— You seal it, like from the talents? Only if it's a formal vendetta. Yeah. Only if I need the Pope to know. God rest his soul. Do you celebrate Easter?
I do, of course, yeah.
So what'd you do yesterday?
He's a big ham guy. Yeah. I know. I remember. I'm just saying. I know he likes his ham. I do. I remember he told the story in his first one. He had that, what was it, Serrano ham or whatever, like the big spit. That's a hard connection to Easter.
Yes, ham is served on Easter, sure.
The ham now that we have in our new house. You have one? Of course. Yeah, so he gets like the big legs.
Are you from Costco, by the way?
Yeah, yeah.
Because they're huge over there. Costco has some real classy shit if you look around. Trust me, the one in Verona.
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Chapter 7: How do Sam and Kevin handle their dishwashers?
You cover it up, right? With loose tin foil. It's like throwing a blanket over a dog's cage. You have to quiet it down. It's gross. Talk about leader of the pack. If you guys came over, you would love the ham. I showed you how to cut it. Trust me. How do you make a sandwich? Do you go down there and get it and then bring it upstairs with the rest of the stuff? I don't.
I go down there with the bread in hand and just slice it off and pile it up. Do you leave the knife down there? There's a knife in the room. There's a knife in the room. How do you clean that off? I don't clean off that knife. I wipe it on the towel. I just smooth it on the towel that goes over the hand. Like an old barber? Yeah. Got a leather strap.
I have that barbicide tin, and I put the knife in there. It's actually just Gatorade.
What did the energy company say about the basement? Any leaks? They said. You've got to watch that. Sorry, you have a mouse problem, and I think it's the ham. The guy was like, is that a ham in there? I was like, is that any of your business? Are you aware of the ordinance of not having a human leg in your basement? Sir, when did you start working for the ham department?
I don't need you to sit here and judge me.
How long will one of them last you? Oh, who knows? You know, until my wife makes me throw it away.
Does she partake in the ham? No, no, no. Does anybody that come over is like, Oh, yeah. Sweet, we're at Sam's house. Let's get our ham.
If I didn't know you guys and you were just in town and I was like, come see my house and I had a ham in the basement, you'd be like, this is the coolest guy alive. Sure. Do you tell them how old it is? No, no, no. How old is it? It's been over a year. It's over a year? Did you move with it? No. Oh, okay. Yeah, it was a housewarming ham. Fair enough. It was like the first thing I bought.
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Chapter 8: What funny experiences does Sam have at Disneyland?
I don't think the movers would have took that. No. Fucking Fed showing up at your door. This guy's got a femur bone in here. Honey, I have to flush the ham in a hard drive.
Oh, man. Congratulations on the new house. Congratulations on everything. Thank you.
When did you move in? May 31st, our mortgage started. Look at you. And then we moved in in like August. Yeah. Sure. That's shifty. What's the yard situation? Who's cutting the grass? We have a service. You have a service. Everything that I can streamline into not having to do anything. I have a solarium in the house. What's a solarium? It's a glass room. Whoa. Yeah, it's like a human.
I think it's like a deli. I wish. Are they cold? That's in the basement. You have one of these? Yeah, a solarium. Whoa. Yeah, and I write in that room. I sit in this big chair and I write. It smells different than the rest of the house probably, right?
Yes, it does.
Because it smells like me getting skin cancer. Ah. Because I'm sitting in a greenhouse. Ah. Yeah, it is. And then my wife comes in and she says, where's your sunscreen? And I say, knock next time. Wait, that's pretty sweet. It's awesome. It overlooks the backyard. How many bedrooms is it? Four. Four bedrooms. How many bathrooms? One and a half. And I cannot sit down on the half bathroom.
That seems. In the powder room. Lopsided. It's downstairs. It's a jewel box right next to the kitchen.
Yeah, I got one of them too. I can't poop in there. I can't poop in there. I wish I could.
The sink is right in your face. Dude, it's like when we got the house.
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