Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Thu, 28 Nov 2024
Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a special episode to go to Court! Todd Spodek, a top NYC defense attorney, helps Are You Garbage prepare for Trial. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG & Friends: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ True Classic: https://www.trueclassic.com/garbage Sheath: https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com Promo Code: garbage Liquid IV: https://www.liquid-iv.com Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the premise of Are You Garbage?
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah. It's that little show where you sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find that they have to go to be classy. Yeah. Or they're just a big old piece of trash. Objection. I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She is in central booking right now. I've heard. Tootie's jammed up legally, and we were thinking it'd be a good idea to get some legal expertise in here. Yes. And we're going to figure it out. We're not naming the charges right now. We're not going public with anything. I heard Rico. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. Not affiliated with the H. Foley Corporation.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. And as I say, he's the guy that makes all the decisions. I'm just a patsy in this whole thing. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James, Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. You go over there, you get all your bonus content, gang.
Yes, sir. And gang, like I said, very special episode today. Yes. Very special guest here with us today for the first time. He is one of the premier criminal defense attorneys in these here United States. He is the owner-operator of the Spodak Law Group. Give it up for Mr. Todd Spodak. Yeah. Esquire. Thank you very much.
You're an Esquire, right?
I'm an Esquire. Nice.
Great.
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Chapter 2: Why do they need legal expertise in this episode?
Did they go after the other people then or was it just now?
So so my client was ultimately charged because one of them was somewhat disfigured. She hit someone in the face with the umbrella and it got scammed. But the trick is you got to be relatable. If you're going to testify at a trial, you got to relate to the jury. They got to respect your story. They got to believe that you're being honest and you got to take the good and the bad.
You can't be an angel. Nobody's an angel. You can't be too polished. You got to come across real and you got to be able to connect with people in a real way. People in New York City, especially minors, people go to high school, junior high, they've been in fights. They've been in assaults. They've been jumped. They know what that experience is like.
And when you're picking that jury, you think about that stuff and And a lot of this is psychology.
Absolutely. If the jury doesn't like me as the defense lawyer, they're certainly not liking my client. So that's what you do.
If someone gets, but you feel the bad vibe, you're like, let's bounce this fucking guy.
Yeah, absolutely.
And so when you win that first case, what's the celebration like? Is it like in Goodfellas when you walk out like, Hey, yeah, not exactly.
This was more like chopped cheese and like a soda, chopped cheese and a soda. It's not bad. You know, this was a long time ago, but it was celebratory no matter what. And I've had a number of, homicides that I've won, that I've had legit celebrations and I've gone traveling with clients and things like that. Really? You go out with them afterwards? Yeah, of course. What do you mean?
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Chapter 3: What are Todd Spodek's credentials?
Those were white when you put them on.
Dude, I got to tell you, this pair of underwear, this is... They are about four and a half years old. Camos. This is the first pair of sheath I ever got, and I'm still rocking them. Still rocking them. I've worn these things for weeks at a time. Not washed. Washed. These things have been washed 500 times. They still fit and feel better than freaking ever. That's not a personal endorsement.
I don't know what to tell you. I hear you. And listen, I put a lot of pressure on these bad boys. Not in the front, but in the back. They get a lot of wear.
Plenty of room up there.
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What does that mean exactly, launder money?
Next question, please. Laundering money is basically taking criminal proceeds and disguising the true nature of it. So, for example, a drug dealer selling drugs and taking that money and investing it, I don't know, in a podcast. What the fuck? This guy's working for the feds. I'm just giving you an example. Are you wearing a wire, dude? I'm just giving you an example.
Okay, all right, I got you. Now it makes sense. So somebody... I start playing stupid. What are drugs? So somebody could accidentally kind of be involved in something like that. Like if their buddy's like, hey. Or the wife or something. I didn't know what was happening.
You fucking know.
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Chapter 4: What was Todd Spodek's first case?
I had a buddy get arrested for his move. He's just moving a little bit of weight. He's dead now, so I can talk about it. But the cops, you know, came up on his house and he raised all of them and ran upstairs and put on his suit like he was in the mob. So he walked out in his suit. I was like, that's fucking, I respect that.
When you say appropriate attire, what is the appropriate attire? What do you want to get arrested in?
If we were going, you know, just say like a DUI or like a possession charge or something.
I think we're sharp. Don't you kind of want to look schlubby a little bit? I mean, it depends on your angle.
It depends on your angle. So there are some cases, for example, at DWI where in New York City the judges rotate. It's not like you're going to be with the same judge. It's not going to remember you. It's not going to know you. It's going to make no difference. But if it's a more serious case and it's one judge throughout your case –
absolutely first impressions matter how the judge views you recidivism deterrence specific deterrence general to all these things matter and if you show respect to the court at a minimum that's a variable they're going to take into consideration what do you think about that guy that jumped over the thing and and fucking clothesline the judge that was bananas that's crazy he's jammed up he's totally jammed up
That would be a don't.
I mean, on so many levels, that situation is terrible. But, yeah, everyone saw that. It's horrible. And, look, these judges and law enforcement and defense lawyers, it's not an easy world. Not at all. We're dealing with people who are facing significant sentences. Worst period of their lives. Exactly. That's what I tell everyone.
When they come to my office, that's the worst day of their life, generally. That's a strange dynamic to me.
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Chapter 5: What should you do if you get arrested?
There's no evidence that they did it.
But at the same time, if they were in fact abused, that's a significant driving force. Sure. And that deserves a punishment that's different than just a straight murder. Right? Sure, yeah. It's a variable. Extenuating circumstance. Yeah, that's what this all is. It's all these variables that are playing.
And massaging it in to go this, this led to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean... What's your favorite steakhouse in the city?
Peter Luger's, obviously. He's a Luger's. Brooklyn Kid. I'm a Brooklyn Kid. I have the menu framed in my office. Do you really? Of course. Why? Because I love Luger's. I've gone there. What's the order?
Run me down the order.
Porterhouse, medium rare. I don't go... Like depending on how many people are at the party, I don't go too big though. That's a rookie mistake. So let's just say you have six people. I only go five. Porterhouse for five. Right. Because you're never going to want that much because you're going to have the bread with the cocktail sauce. You already took down like two pieces of bacon.
You got the cream spinach. I put the onions on those rolls. The onions. You got the home fries. So I'm already in deep. That's my menu. That's my meal. What's your cocktail kicking off the dinner? At a steakhouse, dirty martini, blue cheese olives. My man. Vodka martini? Yeah. Duh. What kind of vodka? Tito's. Come on, man. I'm Brooklyn. What do you think? I'm going to be Kettle One or something?
I don't know. That's my order. Yeah, of course. Filthy. I only drink straight booze. It's either martini, beer, wine. What's the go-to beer? I like hazy IPA because I'm a Brooklyn guy.
Dude, you're a dirtbag. That's a lawyer you want.
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