Todd Spodek
Appearances
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Great.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
We have a lot of cases where someone's- Why do you bring that up? I'm in charge of the books over here, by the way. And someone will have millions of dollars funneled through their account for a friend, right? And they don't know every aspect of what they did, but there's enough-
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
in conjunction with the vast amount of money and text messages and documents to support that they had some knowledge that their account was being used to launder money. Are they factually guilty? Like, did they create a scam and hide the money and do it all? No, but legally they're guilty. And that's a hard distinction for people to make.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
No. I try to keep it mellow. I'm not that kind of lawyer who's going out there being like, guess what I do. Sure. I will show up on a podcast. But I will show up on a podcast, and I will tell people that I have the best dinner stories. Okay? You're not going to beat me around the table. Of course. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Next question, please. Laundering money is basically taking criminal proceeds and disguising the true nature of it. So, for example, a drug dealer selling drugs and taking that money and investing it, I don't know, in a podcast. What the fuck? This guy's working for the feds. I'm just giving you an example. Are you wearing a wire, dude? I'm just giving you an example.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Carmella knew. She played dumb, but she knew. You could do things a one-off, and you're likely not exposed. But if you do something on a regular basis. So if someone uses your account one time, and then you find out, and you're like, what the fuck? You're not allowed to use my account. That's different.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
If you acquiesce and let someone use your account and wind up taking a commission and the techs are like, hey, this is great. Let's keep doing it. No, you can't then get out of it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
First of all, every criminal thinks they're super stealth and they're like, hey, my messages disappear on WhatsApp. And, like, this is not the reality because someone screenshots, people cooperate.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
They're existing. And if you're a smart criminal, you're not using a cell phone. Point blank. Really? If you're a real criminal, you're not using a cell phone. So as soon as you see a criminal with a cell phone, you know this is not stellar. This is not the Ivy League of criminals. Gotcha.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I could only tell you what I see. Yeah, of course. What I've seen is... People who are very savvy, they meet in person. They make sure nobody's wearing a wire.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You're having one conversation with one person and the recipient of that conversation is 10 people away. So whoever receives the message can never point it back to you. Damn. Right, like think of cartels. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, cartels are not hanging out with fucking Pepe on 23rd Street being like, here's the drugs. There's 50 layers between these people.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
There's – Yeah, so there's hundreds of these apps.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Well, Telegram has a number of problems. But the best apps are the ones that the sender controls. So for example, there are various messaging apps. I feel like I'm going to get myself jammed up. But there are various messaging apps where I could send a message and then I could delete the message on your phone.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Where'd you go to law school? So I was born and raised in Brooklyn. Okay. My law firm's based in downtown Manhattan. Okay. My father was a lawyer. Okay. Okay. I've been in the game for a long time. I grew up around a lot of criminals, so this is not new to me. Okay. Welcome to the show. I know this world. Alleged criminal. Alleged. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
But so the real trick, if you're not looking to have any of your information public, is not talk about things that you wouldn't want someone to see. Not have anything connected to you. Remember, cell site records alone pinpoint your location.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
All day long.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Every day. Really? That's what I'm saying. No real criminal has cell phones. Do you know what I mean?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah. First of all, everything is documented. You purchase something, it shows where you are. You use the train, it shows where you are. It triangulates everything. The messages are stored on the cloud. You could connect people from a conspiracy by pictures on Instagram and communications. It's just so much.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, absolutely. It works both ways. If you're fucking innocent. Which we are. Which we are.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You know, those folks are few and far between, unfortunately, in my line of work.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I've had a few cases. that tend to be where a divorce happens and someone alleges rape or physical abuse, and you could just tell that it's motivated by spite. And when you do a deep dive, you could see that person wasn't there in any way, shape, or form. Sell sites, put them somewhere else. There's an alibi. There's texts regarding an evening of sex, things like that. So that's when I've seen it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Other than that, no. Most people – are involved to some degree. It's not like you got the wrong person altogether. That is rare.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You were married. You made that choice. Now you got to live with it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You do divorce. Yeah, so my firm has a division that does divorce and family law. Yeah, of course I represent. Of course I recommend prenups. Fuck. Absolutely. I'm screwed. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I mean, the easiest way to think about it is you get married, right? You're sharing income. You're sharing assets. And if, heaven forbid, you split up, you need to have some easy way to divide these things. Mm-hmm. If you've ever had a breakup before, you're familiar that those things never go well, right?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
It's pretty rare, especially for you two, that your prior relationships went swimmingly, right? I'm sure you're getting hate mail to this day. So it would be really convenient if when shit hits the fan, you're like, oh shit, remember when we invested $5,000 25 years ago? You take this fucking house, I take this house, you take $50,000, and we walk away. So a prenup is such a small investment.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And I went to Pace Law School in White Plains, which is the Harvard of the East Coast. Everyone knows that. Nice. And now I'm in the game. And now we do state and federal criminal defense throughout the United States. A lot of white collar cases, a lot of really egregious criminal acts. And, you know, this is what we do. This is the life we live and we love it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Is that what a divorce costs? If you have money.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Look, if you have assets, obviously if you don't have assets, you don't have these things, you don't got nothing to fight about. But even poor people who have nothing are fighting all day long. Yeah, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah. And it's fucked up in New York and in a lot of states. If you're the moneyed spouse, you have to pay the attorney's fees for the other side. So now your wife's fucking someone else. The lawyer's fucking someone else.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah. You could look it up. It's hot. I've seen those videos. It's right. It's an Al Pacino movie. It's a ripe situation for problems. Sure. Emotions are high. Emotions are high. You're celebratory sometimes. Sure. You need attention, blah, blah, blah. I mean, look, I've never seen it in my personal circle of friends and colleagues.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
But there are lawyers and they get in trouble and it's, you know, you could look on the post. That's not illegal, though, for a lawyer to start banging. It's unethical. You're going to go in front of the board. You can't. Ethically, you cannot really enter into a relationship with a client. When they're no longer your client, that's fair game. But while they're your client.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Is that true? Yeah, absolutely. So what happens is if you come to me, to my firm for a divorce consultation, tell me all your business and all your finances, and then you decide not to hire me. I possess that knowledge. If your wife or one of your baby mom is I don't know how many you got at this point in time comes to me.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
comes to me and wants to talk to me about the case, but I know this information that I wouldn't know, but for you telling me, I cannot talk to him. You can't do it. You can't talk about it. So if you were smart and you hit a few people, you know. Take out some of the bigwigs. You know, it's a savvy move.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, absolutely. So I keep secrets for a living.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, I've had people come to my office who have killed people that day. No shit. Fuck, Addy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Not obviously that, but... I mean, no, I don't recommend homicide as a general activity.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
There's a number of smart things. One... everything's fresh, right? So surveillance video that you could obtain is fresh. Eyewitness statements are fresh. If you're going to be arrested, you could at least go before a judge and say, look, I walked myself in. I surrendered.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I'll see you on Monday. So there's two scenarios about that, right? One is if you're wanted. So if you know the NYPD has an I-card, which means an internal document that says they're going to pick you up, or an arrest warrant or a bench warrant, and you know you're going to get arrested, you could hire a lawyer and your lawyer could arrange for you to surrender.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
This guy's good already.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And they're cool with that, typically. Yeah, and it's smarter for everyone. They don't have to go look for you. You surrender on your own accord. You're prepared. You're wearing the appropriate clothes. You have what you're allowed, money, change. You don't have, I don't know, fucking a cell phone that's going to get put into property vouchers and things like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And then you get to go before a judge and say, Judge, there's no reason to hold me or issue bail. I'm not going to run. I knew I was under investigation, and here I am. I walked myself into the precinct. I walked myself into the court. I surrendered to the marshals, the FBI, so on and so forth. That's pretty good.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
It depends on your angle. So there are some cases, for example, at DWI where in New York City the judges rotate. It's not like you're going to be with the same judge. It's not going to remember you. It's not going to know you. It's going to make no difference. But if it's a more serious case and it's one judge throughout your case –
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
absolutely first impressions matter how the judge views you recidivism deterrence specific deterrence general to all these things matter and if you show respect to the court at a minimum that's a variable they're going to take into consideration what do you think about that guy that jumped over the thing and and fucking clothesline the judge that was bananas that's crazy he's jammed up he's totally jammed up
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I mean, on so many levels, that situation is terrible. But, yeah, everyone saw that. It's horrible. And, look, these judges and law enforcement and defense lawyers, it's not an easy world. Not at all. We're dealing with people who are facing significant sentences. Worst period of their lives. Exactly. That's what I tell everyone.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
So I came out of law school, and I went straight to trial work, and I started working with my dad and doing trial work throughout New York City.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
When they come to my office, that's the worst day of their life, generally. That's a strange dynamic to me.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And that's a big part of criminal defense work is managing that relationship. If you cannot manage that relationship, it's going to be impossible to succeed as a defense lawyer.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, of course. This is not the time to make political statements. This is not the time to do something that— The president made me do it. And also, it's a very thin line as a defendant. Like, you're constantly balancing, like, you want to do right and get the best result, right? And you don't want to get yourself in further trouble. So—
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You should always dress accordingly, act accordingly, be respectful. Not on your phone. And keep your mouth shut. Keep your mouth shut and just play the game. This is a game. You got to play the game like in anything in life.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, absolutely. So those guys are great, especially in Danny and Manhattan. Those guys have been there for years. They know the city inside out. They really maneuver it. Oh, man.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I hit the ground running. Obviously, it takes some time to get familiar. Sure. But if you're a trial lawyer, you're a trial lawyer, and you're comfortable in front of a jury and in a courtroom or in tutties. You know what I mean? You know the vibe. Sure. You know, so there is a little bit of balance of both of those things. What was your first case?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah. And they know a different version of the city than a layperson. So we have private investigators on our side who are prior law enforcement, both on the state and federal level, that are similar, are paid significantly more. Sure. Private sector. It's the private sector. And they have... alternative sources of information that sometimes the government doesn't have.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
So, for example, they may know people on the street. They're connected. They're more connected. They got CIs and snitches all over the goddamn city. They know people who are more involved in particular crimes or investigations and sometimes legally and ethically could provide some information that only a source like that could provide.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I mean... I'm doing this a long time. Obviously, I've been in some difficult situations, but I've never felt unsafe or anything like that. I felt uncomfortable, whereas probably best I wasn't at a meeting or at a restaurant or something like that. But that's a personal choice. That's a personal choice. I'm not trying to be that close either. I got you. Damn. You're the coolest guy I ever met.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Whatever you want to talk about, I'm all yours.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Personal use. Let's just deal with the next 24 hours of our respective lives.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, absolutely. Really? Well, let me backtrack. First and foremost, if you're in a situation with law enforcement, you have to just comply. It's not for you to have that conversation about the legality of a search.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
The first thing you want to do is make sure you don't get fucking shot. So put your hands up. Make sure they know that you're not a risk to their safety for everyone's benefit. This is not the time to act fast.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Nothing like that. I'm going to be going, I know, Todd. Yeah, just put your hands up and be respectful and let them do what they have to do.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
My first first case was a juvenile who was jumped in Brooklyn, where I'm from, and it was a self-defense case, a justification case.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Don't do any of that shit, right? Exactly. Your position is, I've been pulled over. I'm going to respect authority. I'm going to do things the right way. Gotcha. I'm going to deal with the issues at the appropriate time. Right. If you're going to litigate the search, the seizure, probable cause, reasonable- So you would say-
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
The legality of the search. If it was my client or I'm recommending to your listeners, please come. You be respectful. You do not voluntarily open the trunk. You're not legally required to do that. You don't voluntarily open the glove compartment. You certainly don't make admissions to anything. If they say, is there anything in the car we should know about?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You should say, I'm invoking my right to counsel. Speak to my lawyer. What if you don't have a lawyer? You could still invoke your right to a lawyer and a public defender. I ain't telling you shit. Then what do they do? They just arrest you? Then, depending on the circumstances, they may go get a search warrant, right?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Oh, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Not calling to the judge. Absolutely not.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, or whatever. We got a call that someone was robbed and they made this description and it fits this car and the individuals in the car. And they could go to a judge and try to get a warrant. Then they get a warrant, they could get in. But without the warrant, you won't do anything.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And if you're savvy enough... But depending on the situation, you may have a lawyer on retainer and your lawyer could come there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah. You're just driving and you have a little bit of marijuana or something in the car. Probably not. But if you're a target of a long term investigation and right, you're moving weight and you're you know that there are real issues that are going to happen irrespective of what they find in your car.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
or it's a stop on purpose because they're trying to confirm identity or location or something like that, you should call your lawyer. They were tailing you. Or anything. They could be connecting you to a warehouse or a car. A warehouse? What are we, in Gotham?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah. Okay. And I represented her at trial, and we raised justification, which is self-defense, and we prevailed. And it was fucking awesome. You know, you feel like a rock star and you really do help someone at the end of the day. And that's the rare case where you have someone who actually was in the right. So she got off. She got off. How many people were jumping her? Five people jumped her.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Listen, it's easy to forget, but there's 9 million people in New York City. There's real criminals doing real criminal shit, you know?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Okay. Yeah, but you got to be smart. You got to be smart. But to answer your question, it's for your lawyer to litigate the search and the seizure, not for you at that moment of high tension with people with guns to argue it. Very smart. I'm evoking my right to counsel. If you want me on the floor, I'm on the floor. I'm not opening anything. If they take your keys and open, so be it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You deal with it. You can fight that. The lawyer will fight that. That's smart. That's very smart. And obviously you could have a camera in your car, which helps.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Everything's recorded, and that's certainly smart, particularly if you're a criminal.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Which we are not criminals, by the way. This is all speculatory. This is all he's a character.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And she won the fight. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. I mean. This was a bunch of kids fighting, so it wasn't exactly Jake and Mike Tyson. Which was a great fight, by the way. It was a little bit of a different vibe. But yeah, she got off and it was... Look, I don't want to sound cheesy and be like, wow, I did good, blah, blah, blah. But it felt good to actually fight.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You throw a suit on when you run down there. Yeah. And we have suits in the office in case we do.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I got to own 30 to 40 suits. No shit. But I wreck suits. Remember, I'm not living the high life. I'm not like a Goldman Sachs banker. I'm running into jails and criminal court. I'm not living that life, so the suits that I have, they wear through. So it's not that I'm like, God, that's a golf.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
He does. Okay, I do. That's like my one little indulgence. Okay, I'm not going to lie. You're a dirtbag. I love it. But it's a valid question. So, for example, I did a trial in Tampa, a federal trial recently. And after the case was over, I got to speak to the jury about things. And they mentioned like that they saw my watch and they thought it was flashy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
New York lawyer comes down here. You're not going to tell us. Right. And so that and I and I take all that sort of constructive criticism to heart. And I believe it. You're doing focus groups after a trial. Yeah. Well, you want to find out. what works, what didn't work. Get the fuck out of here. Well, you're allowed to talk to the jurors. Hey, what jammed me up here?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And also, you could get information you may not have gotten unless you spoke to them. And maybe there's an issue for appeal or maybe there's something to... Oh, we thought this when they said that. Or, yeah, one of the other jurors told me we could be a danger or someone slipped me money or I don't know. Have you had that happen? No, I've not had that happen. Damn. It's pretty legit.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Everything's legit.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
circumstances that I, you know, you're in trial, you're, you're worked up, you're, you know, lawyers, criminal defense lawyers live and breathe their cases, good criminal defense lawyers. So if you have a case and you're passionate about it and you've been working for two months and maybe two years to get to that point, It becomes your life.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And if you feel strongly about something, you can easily be held in contempt. And this just happened with Young Thug in Atlanta, right?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And now in reality, that lawyer did a phenomenal job protecting his clients, right? And it worked out in his favor. He got him off, right? He got him a plea. Thug's free. He got him a plea that he wouldn't have gone. But that's to your point. That happens. And the lawyer, that's a very difficult position for a lawyer to be, but that's a salt-of-the-earth lawyer who stood his ground.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, that's great. And that's why young Doug is living la vida loca now.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Tread lightly, Mr. Foley. Yeah, no admissions on the record.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Okay, so I'll be honest and address that really in a comprehensive way. So one, there are lots of lawyers out there that are snakes and charge lots of money and don't do good work. If you talk to my dad, it's all of them. And there are lots of good lawyers that charge a lot of money and do tremendous work and they really provide comprehensive representation.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
So it's not a perfect answer, but 100% you need the resources to do the job, right? Lawyers have to make money just like anyone else. So how much time is your lawyer realistically going to dedicate to your case for X amount of money? That's kind of how you have to look at it, right? So a lot of times clients come in and try to bargain and this and that, and I say that exact thing to them.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You don't want those cases because those folks will take every minute of your life. They'll never be happy. They get worked up. And if they're paying you every dollar, they're going to extract every drop of blood from you. So I try to have very realistic conversations of what expectations there are, what's a realistic goal for your case. But 100%, it's expensive. It's time consuming.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
So they were assault with a deadly weapon. They were...
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
We have a large staff, people dedicated to your case. You got to have the resources or we're not the right fit.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, we have a finance department. Oh, no shit. Yeah, they do payment plans. They have various things that could help people.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Good legal providers are going to cost a pretty penny. Good stuff costs money. Especially in New York City. Yeah. It's just time.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
So it doesn't really work that way. It sounds like you're referencing someone who's an undercover, right? If you're an undercover buying something, there's no right line rule that says, oh, tell me if you're a cop and they have to do that. That's movie lore. But... you shouldn't be in that situation to begin with, right?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
If you're having a conversation with someone and you're like, I'm doubting whether you're an actual purchaser of drugs or a police, you probably should not have entered the room where the fucking guy is, right? You should not be in that... This guy's a street shooter, dude. You're already not exceeding as a criminal. You know what I mean? Yes, yes.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
No, she wound up taking out an umbrella, like a long umbrella, and started to just knock people.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
He would get coked up in his apartment and be worried that the feds were coming to get him. No, absolutely not.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Law enforcement has limited resources at the end of the day, right? Especially in New York City, especially on the federal level. They want big suppliers, distributors. They're not looking for someone who's a small user. But how do you get to those people? You shake them down. You get to the small users.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
So a lot of times what happens is if you're a middle, sort of low-level, mid-level drug dealer and you get jammed up- You're going to explore your options, and one option is going to be cooperating against someone higher, and that's the game. Unfortunately, that's the reality.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, but no, absolutely not. And the truth is, and this goes back to the lawyer and sort of the skill set, but there's all these alternative programs in New York. for low-level possession cases, even cases where you have possession with intent to sell, where you could get judicial diversion and the case gets dismissed by doing some treatment.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
No, we're talking about a full-fledged, like legit reinforced umbrella, okay? Those things are expensive. Yeah, like we're talking about the penguin from fucking Batman. Okay.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
So if you're savvy as a criminal defense lawyer, there is an angle of that, which is take the facts of your case and make them fit into something else. Gotcha. So we'll represent drug dealers who have significant amounts of weight and they have a drug issue and they need treatment. So you can get them to do a six-month program, whatever it is.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And look, that's the reality of a lot of drug dealers of that level, right? You buy enough so you have some.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
We used to call it a head stash.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I'll tell you something that is a problem is idiots buying drugs online. We have clients who will go on the dark web and get coke and meth and get it delivered.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
It'll be like an eight ball. It'll be enough. But what the fuck? You're literally buying it with crypto that is traceable one way or the other to a wallet, to something, to your IP, to something. And then it's going to ship to your fucking house or your apartment. Jeez. Jesus. Like, that is insane. That's insane to me. Like, that's truly insane, you know?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
But if you happen to get jammed up, you know who to call. Gotcha.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I mean, it's complicated because obviously the vast majority of countries do have treaties. Sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, and it's a nightmare. You get picked up in a foreign country and you're going through extradition and then going to get extradited to the United States. That's an epic nightmare.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Then you got to wait for the marshals or whoever to come pick you up.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Well, exactly. So almost every case that we have where someone is going to be extradited, we generally advise them to waive extradition and come back. Almost every case.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And also it goes back to if you're going to be extradited, think about it on a financial crime. If you're going to be extradited from- Spain, let's say, and face charges. I'm not going with any other Spain. And now you're going before a judge who's like, you have no ties to the U.S. You've committed a large-scale financial fraud.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You don't have much going for you to stay out of prison pending trial. But if you knew about an investigation, voluntarily flew over— Returned yourself.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
So that's that. You guys are looking for me. But there are countries. Lebanon doesn't, you know. Really? I'd rather do 35 years. Exactly. Now, I don't know. I was going to say. Fucking Rikers. You know, I was going to say there are some places I don't know if you'd rather be there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah. No, Cancun, you're dead to rights. You're coming home. Okay. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
So, yeah, there's three different types of bail traditionally in New York, right? There's cash bail, which is $50,000. You bring $50,000. You post it with the court. You get released. Where does that money go? Who's getting that cash? It's just held in an account and then released to you at the end of the case minus a 3% administrative fee.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
That's just so you show up, right? It's a security, right? It's saying to the court, look, I'm coming back. You're holding $50,000. When this case is over, I get it back no matter what. Now, if you abscond, if you flee, you get peace. You know what I mean? If you're out, then they forfeit that money. And that does happen. The state gets that. The state gets it. Gotcha. So that's one.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Then there's partially secured bonds, which is you're paying a percentage, 10% to the court, and you're showing to them that you have sufficient financial resources to pay the whole thing in the event your loved one. Gotcha. And that's another option. And then there's bail bonds. Dog to bounty hunter. So they put the money up? Yeah. So for example, someone gets arrested in the bond.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And the bail is $50,000. One option, someone comes to court, pays $50,000 cash. One option is a partially secured bond, which you're paying 10%, which will be higher than the $50,000. So it'll be like $100,000. You're paying the court 10%. You're signing the bond, proving to the court, look, I work full time. This is what I do. Here's how much I make. Here's my savings. Here's everything.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And the court approves you. You're released and you get that money back. And then there's a bail bondsman who charges a fee. So they... take the 10%, but then they also charge their own fee and they may require collateral. They may say, I'll post the 50,000 or 200,000 because it'll be higher, but you pay me 10% and you put up your house, right? Because they're taking the risk.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
They're underwriting it for you. So it gets complicated. And back to your question about having a lawyer on retainer, the more sophisticated the criminal, the more sophisticated bail package they're going to have prearranged for when shit hits the fan. What do you mean? Like they'll already have set up perfectly. So the day it goes down, I got, I got a hundred grand in an account. Here's a house.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Here's all clean money. Here's tracing it. It's nothing to do with anything. You know, bail bondsman's on call, whatever you need.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
There are other countries that don't extradite. Does Russia extradite? Belize? Russia, no. Russia is a problem also. You've got to go over there and play ball now. But the problem is all these countries are at war. I don't know if you really— I'll roll my dice with three hots and a con. I'm not sure what you're into, but— Costa Rica? I think Costa Rica does extradite.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Pretty much all the countries that you would think would extradite will extradite, right? It's the ones that you don't want to go to, right? It's like those random TikTok videos where it's like, I'm a fucking world traveler. Here I am at like the one person in Iran. Check it out. Yeah, you could go there too.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Hard to prove. So it's not a question of whether they're legally binding. They can be, but somehow you have to prove it extrinsically. How are you going to prove that you have that?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Or we agreed that I was going to buy your computer for $500, right? Whoa, hey, let me wipe it first. And then there are some texts that support that. And then he's a witness to our conversation. And then I sent you $500 and you wrapped it up, something like that. Okay. But again, why the fuck would you have a verbal contract when you could write it all out on a piece of paper quite easily?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Same as like the prenup. It's the same analysis, right? Why would you be in that situation to begin with?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
So so my client was ultimately charged because one of them was somewhat disfigured. She hit someone in the face with the umbrella and it got scammed. But the trick is you got to be relatable. If you're going to testify at a trial, you got to relate to the jury. They got to respect your story. They got to believe that you're being honest and you got to take the good and the bad.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, Kevin.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You're thinking about your business agreement. I'm a very handshake kind of guy. Which... No, always, you got to have agreements. You got to write it down. You got to have agreements. That's what everybody tells me. You got to do it the right way. It avoids issues. We could write up a little dissolution agreement when we're done with this, okay?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
In the courtroom?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Like, hold on, Your Honor. Let me just take down this.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, so.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
The good thing about Manhattan is there's great, inexpensive, quick food everywhere. Chinatown is right next to the park. So I'll take down some soup dumplings real quick if I have to. But I'll bring something in my bag, almonds or a little protein bar or something. You wouldn't bring the dumplings in there, right? No, I'm not bringing the dumplings, no.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I mean, look, obviously that's a very glorified. But 100 percent. Look, you know, these lawyers, you know, the prosecutors, you know, the judges, you're there every day. You know, my firm is at least and you have a rapport with them.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And it's very collegial. It's very professional. So you will say, look, you did a great job or whatever. I can't believe this happened at trial or something like that. But no, it's not like the whole world stops and I walk down the steps gracefully and the music plays and everything's perfect.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yes. Are there lawyer bars down there that are nice that you guys like to go to? Yes, yes. There are a lot of them. Probably nice joints. I'm not going to say they're nice. Of course. But behind criminal court, there's a few bars that all the court staff, the officers, lawyers, defense lawyers. It's fun. It's crowded. Lawyers drink.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah. Yeah, of course. Come on. What do you mean? Especially if you have, listen, if you're on trial all week and you have a client with you at the end of the week and he's out or she's out, like she's not incarcerated, they're going to want to have a drink with you. Cocktail. They want to spend that time. They want to connect.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah. That's a federal thing, though. That's not a state. I mean, it exists in the state, but it doesn't practically exist. So on the federal level, I have lots of clients on house arrest on the federal level.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah. One of my favorite movies. Yeah, great. It's a fantastic movie. That's all I got.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Are there dudes like that? Yeah, absolutely. Listen, the thing about criminal defense lawyers are they're usually involved in a lot of things and they know a lot of people. And sometimes you wind up in business with people and different things, all legally, all ethically.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
But you're in – opportunities present themselves, whether it be someone selling a bar, selling a house, X, Y, Z. So, yes, there are people like that. There are people who – know the right people to fix a situation or could certainly expedite situations. Same way I could get bail posted probably quicker than someone else because I do that all the time and I know the shortcuts to do it. Nice.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You can't be an angel. Nobody's an angel. You can't be too polished. You got to come across real and you got to be able to connect with people in a real way. People in New York City, especially minors, people go to high school, junior high, they've been in fights. They've been in assaults. They've been jumped. They know what that experience is like.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I think you both seem really relatable, and I think people would relate to you.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, I don't think on my end, but I'm certain that there are opportunities out there. You might want to check LinkedIn or something. I do accents.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Citizens' arrests are a nonsense thing that don't really happen. It never happens, and good luck trying to arrest someone and being like, this is a citizens' arrest, okay? People are getting fucking killed left and right all over the place. It's a crazy world out there. I would not recommend anyone be like, oh, okay, today I'm going to get my paper badge and do some citizens' arrests.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You got to make sure you have that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You got the spread out, the bagels? No, we don't really do it like that. If someone's there, we have a kitchen that has some light refreshments. You got what kind of water you got? You got sparkling water? Yeah, of course. What do you do, Pellegrino? We do Pellegrino, yeah. Come on. LaCroix also. Really?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
What about a snack? We have some protein bars, some power RX bars, things like that. We have a lot of chewing gum. Lawyers talk a lot. You don't have chewing gum. But if you were coming and we're having a real meeting, we may order lunch. I'm paying for that though, right? Well, it depends. It depends on the situation. Sometimes I'm paying. Sometimes you're paying.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Do you usually do lunch at the office? I don't eat lunch.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I haven't had lunch in 15 years. I don't fuck with lunch. Really? Yeah, no. I'm on the grind until dinner, but then I'm eating a proper dinner.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I have two small kids. Two small kids. I have two dogs. Okay. So my house is hectic. Okay. So in the morning. What time are you getting up? I get up between five and six. What time do you go to bed? Ideally by like 11.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I ain't worth shit. And I'm on the phone 24-7. Yeah. You have two phones. I have two phones, and I'm on the phone 24-7. So when I do check out, I want to be off. Don't call me. I don't want to talk to anybody.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Absolutely. If the jury doesn't like me as the defense lawyer, they're certainly not liking my client. So that's what you do.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah. But anyway, so when I wake up, I have to deal with the kids and the dogs. Of course. So I have a boy and a girl, and they both have to get out of bed. Right. Alone could be like a three-hour process. Gotcha. Then they got to get dressed, which is like. It's 7 o'clock at this point, okay? It's basically dinner time. Damn. And then I got to get them to school. I take them to school.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
That's one of the things I like to do. Okay. That's great. So that's a priority for me, and I make that a priority every day. And I take the dogs when I walk my daughter to school. My son takes the bus. And it's hectic.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
No. This was that breakfast. So I'm making them breakfast, and I'm eating. I'm cooking and eating. Scrambies? Scrambies, of course. Come on. Cheese? Depends. Sometimes my son doesn't want cheese. Okay. That's pretty good.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I'll never leave, dude.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Focus. I think you should talk to my wife about that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
No, there's a, listen, true crime right now is at like an all-time high. Yeah. Like people are obsessed. Every day there's another amazing story. The Menendez brothers is all over the news. You think they're going to get out? I think they are going to ultimately get out. Yes, I do. But they served like 30 years. Yeah, they served like 35 years. I think the dynamic has changed.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, absolutely.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
The science of that type of evidence has changed. Abuse of males has changed. It's more prevalent. It's more prevalent.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, I think they did. And that's a hard balance. You know, like there's no question that They shot and killed their parents at point blank range, which certainly is an atrocious, horrible act. And these people suffered immensely. Like you said, there's some things that you can't. Right. Exactly. Listen, I'm not one to sugarcoat the thing, but at the same time, at the same time.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
But at the same time, if they were in fact abused, that's a significant driving force. Sure. And that deserves a punishment that's different than just a straight murder. Right? Sure, yeah. It's a variable. Extenuating circumstance. Yeah, that's what this all is. It's all these variables that are playing.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Peter Luger's, obviously. He's a Luger's. Brooklyn Kid. I'm a Brooklyn Kid. I have the menu framed in my office. Do you really? Of course. Why? Because I love Luger's. I've gone there. What's the order?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Porterhouse, medium rare. I don't go... Like depending on how many people are at the party, I don't go too big though. That's a rookie mistake. So let's just say you have six people. I only go five. Porterhouse for five. Right. Because you're never going to want that much because you're going to have the bread with the cocktail sauce. You already took down like two pieces of bacon.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
This was more like chopped cheese and like a soda, chopped cheese and a soda. It's not bad. You know, this was a long time ago, but it was celebratory no matter what. And I've had a number of, homicides that I've won, that I've had legit celebrations and I've gone traveling with clients and things like that. Really? You go out with them afterwards? Yeah, of course. What do you mean?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You got the cream spinach. I put the onions on those rolls. The onions. You got the home fries. So I'm already in deep. That's my menu. That's my meal. What's your cocktail kicking off the dinner? At a steakhouse, dirty martini, blue cheese olives. My man. Vodka martini? Yeah. Duh. What kind of vodka? Tito's. Come on, man. I'm Brooklyn. What do you think? I'm going to be Kettle One or something?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I don't know. That's my order. Yeah, of course. Filthy. I only drink straight booze. It's either martini, beer, wine. What's the go-to beer? I like hazy IPA because I'm a Brooklyn guy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I got to tell you how it is.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Hazy IPA is delicious, but I'm not going to lie.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I don't do any espresso, nothing like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Oh, you drink coffee now. Yeah. I do a lot of coffee in the morning, and then I'm done. You peel it back. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Bourbon or something like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Remy Martin is a little bit more like Busta Rhymes or something. I'm not doing Remy Martin. I would do like Bullet Bourbon or something like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You're going to do a podcast, and then you've got to go back to court? No, now I'll go back to my office to deal with more mission costs. Whatever's happening. More drama. But let's say you don't have court. Every day I'm in a suit, except weekends when my kid's not in a suit. Man. Dry cleaned? Yeah, you have to dry clean them.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I don't know. You have to dry clean. Your dry cleaning bill is probably going to be pretty. It's high. It's high. The company takes care of that. But like I said, I wreck suits. I'm on the street. I'm taking the train all day. I'm going to Rikers. I'm going to jail. I'm not living that high life.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Last week. How do you get there? You don't take the train, do you? I don't have to take train. I could drive, obviously, or take a taxi. But it's such a fucking nightmare driving in the city. It's like a five-hour journey to get anywhere. So I would sooner take public transportation. But I grew up. I don't mind public transportation. I'm not that guy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, so it's a little bit of a schlep. You got to take the F train to Long Island City. Then you got to take the Q101 bus over the bridge to Rikers. But I could be on the phone. I could do things. Man, you're fucking doing it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
That's fucking awesome.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I'll tell you that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Thank you so much for having me. And education.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
The other way. Anytime.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Listen, I think the best thing to take away from this is if you get jammed up, shut the fuck up.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Just say, talk to my lawyer. That's it. Give him my number and we're good. We'll work it out. Don't worry.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And is that one phone call? Is that true? You get one phone call? It's not really true. The most important thing is you want to invoke your right to counsel, right? If you're jammed up, don't say shit.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
So the immediate thing is to let the authorities, whether it be state, local, federal, law enforcement, whoever it is. Federal? What the fuck? Jesus Christ. You got the fucking alphabet boys coming in? But you got to let them know that you're invoking your right to counsel. You have a lawyer. And once you do that, that at least puts a buffer from you.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
They got to stop asking you questions. And the real problem is when people are excited and they're overwhelmed and drunk and high and jammed up, they talk. Oh, you know me. Yes, yes, and yes. And a lot of times they'll say something that is a problem even though they don't think it. So, for example, they may commit that they were at the scene or they may connect themselves to someone else.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And it's like now you're there. Exactly. It's much better for you to be like, you know what? Call my lawyer. I'm done. I'm not here right now. You didn't see me.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
That's why there's a story about that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
No, I think there are instances where the police say, look, cooperate with us and we will present your case to the prosecutor and to the judge for leniency.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And there are cases where that does work, but that should be done pursuant to some sort of proffer agreement or immunity or cooperation deal, not just you coked up at a fucking nightclub being like, oh, cool, I'll work it out with the police now. Sure, sure, sure. You say coked up at a nightclub? Yeah, I mean, that's when these things happen. Yeah, that's when these things happen.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I know your audience.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
So I did represent Anna Delvey, the German heiress, and they did make a Netflix show about it. I've seen the movie. Okay, so... Damn, you were her lawyer? Yes, I was her trial lawyer, and I represented her, and I was a character in the show. I loved it. Me and my wife loved that fucking show. Who played you? Did they screw you? No, it's the gentleman from Succession, Aryan Moyad.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I may be pronouncing the name wrong. Get out of here. But Stewie from Succession. Look it up.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
oh right that's you holy shit holy shit damn that's a good looking that's a good version I'm happy that it's getting back up now this is how we're doing it I fucking love it did he reach out to you yeah so he was great I spent time with him I went to set I met him and his name is Todd Spodek in the show so I gotta go rewatch that now I'll fucking love that yeah it was a great show and he was great and he did a great job and they recreated the whole set the courtroom the fucking pens the scratches in the table everything
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And refresh my memory, did she get off or no? So it was a mixed verdict. She won some of the charges, which was quite remarkable to begin with. Yeah, her hands were dirty. Yeah, she was dead to rights.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You got it right there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I call a lunch break.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Okay. So that case generated a lot of publicity and attention and things like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
So the cases that I have, I represent a lot of people for financial crimes, so they're long-term investigations, they're paper-heavy cases.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, so either the state. Skimming the books of something. Exactly. Either the state or the states will be doing a long-term investigation. Could be wire fraud, money laundering, scams. Crypto scams are obviously very prevalent now. Okay. So these cases take a long time to go to trial no matter what. And even when you're at trial, it could be three months of trial.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
And that trial was, I think, four to six weeks or something like that. Damn.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
No, so she wound up coming up with cash, and then a deal was worked out with Netflix as well. No shit.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, Netflix was involved, and it all worked out.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You can't hustle a hustler, man. Come on, you know that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Fee-wise or what? Oh, the fees vary depending on the case. But look, it's a substantial amount of time. You're looking at $50,000 plus to dedicate any lawyer's time for that long. Hundreds of thousands of hours. There are cases that go hundreds of thousands of dollars. I travel a lot for work, so a lot of times I have to go and stay somewhere else to be away from my kids. Sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
So I'm only licensed in New York, but I get pro hoc, meaning I get permission from the federal courts to practice in a federal court and other jurisdictions. So I have cases in Texas, California. Was that a federal trial? That was a state trial. That was a state trial. Okay. Southern District. Southern District's federal. Those guys don't mess around, do they? Yeah. Southern District's serious.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
It's a premier U.S. attorney's office. A lot of people there, a lot of resources.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I know. I know.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Yeah, go ahead.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
That's a great movie. Okay. I love that. I don't think I could do as good of a job as Joe Pesci. Sure. Can't do the accent. Every head must bow. How do you like your grits?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I think the most important thing, really, is you've got to be relatable. And your client has to be relatable. The story has to be relatable. So if you're selling a story, whether it's a murder, a crypto fraud, a rape case, whatever it is, you got to have a story that makes sense. The story has to work and it has to make sense. And a lay person has to hear it and say, you know what?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I could understand how this happened. I understand how this transpired. You can't pretend that nothing happened, right? You got to be able to focus and say, Whatever I did may have been wrong, but it wasn't criminal or it didn't rise to that level or that, you know, it has to be specific.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
But you have you got 12 people analyzing the situation and you got to convince 12 of them to go all the same way.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Or do you look?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
All good questions. So the vast majority of cases on the state level and federal level settle. That's the reality. They just don't go to trial. Statistic-wise, throughout the United States, no matter what. On the federal side, it's like 95% above. You're going to settle your case.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
It's so expensive. Long-term investigations, your exposure is through the roof.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Your exposure to federal prison long term. Yeah, you're like, hey, I could do 50 years or we'll give you 10. If you roll the dice. Well, let me give you a quick example. So in the federal system. I'm flipping. This is all dumb matter. I'm flipping. There's something called acceptance of responsibility points. If you accept responsibility early, you get three point reduction.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
That three point reduction correlates to months in prison. So the system incentivizes you to resolve your case early. So if you're charged by the feds, your exposure to federal prison, which is real federal prison for a long time. goes up as things keep going. Man, this guy can talk. I am you.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Right. So to your second question being like, how do you deal with clients like that? I don't ever make the decision. Okay. But the reality is you have to protect your clients. And sometimes you have to be like, look, there's no fucking way you're making out of this trial. And if you want to go to trial, I will do that. But it's really against my advice. And you're not going to win.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
I believe every day, every day this morning, what happens is there's different concepts, right? There's the individual who committed an act and is like, I did not commit a crime. And then there's the law, right? Like there are two separate concepts. So someone could think in their head that they're not guilty because of whatever reason.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
You're an Esquire, right?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
But the law is elemental, meaning it has elements that have to be met. And if you meet those elements, you're guilty of the crime. And so a lot of times people don't realize that, and it's hard for them to register that. Sure. And particularly when it's- This is freaking me the fuck out, man. I know, dude. No, but think of it in the context of money laundering.