Are You Garbage presents stand up comedians and podcast hosts Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas! We're talking about buying houses, cleaning your front yard and marriage! You know the History Hyenas, Chrissy & Yannis from stand up comedy, Chrissy Chaos, the Yannis Pappas Hour, The Joe Rogan Experience, Whiskey Ginger w/ Andrew Santino, Kill Tony, Soder Podcast, Bad Friends, Stavvys World, Your Mom's House, and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Tour Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Aura Frames: Exclusive $20-off Carver Mat at https://AuraFrames.com. Use code GARBAGE at checkout to save iRestore: For a limited time only, our listeners get $625 off their iRestore Elite when you use code AYG at https://iRestorelaser.com Sheath: Head over to https://sheath.com and Use code Garbage to save 20% on your order to upgrade your underwear game today! Factor: Eat smart with Factor. Get started at https://FACTORMEALS.com/FACTORPODCAST and use code FACTORPODCAST to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: Why should you check out the Route 66 special?
Dan, you want to thank everybody for all the love and support on the Route 66 special. It is out now. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and check it out.
Yeah, and the Back on the Block tour starts this week. Tickets still available for Pontiac, Michigan, March 8th. March 11th, Milwaukee Improv. And then March 14th, Minneapolis, Minnesota at the Fillmore. Get your tickets on eBarbers.com. We'll see you there.
Chapter 2: What is 'Are You Garbage?' all about?
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show where you sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find that they're good to be classy.
Yeah.
But they're just a big old piece of trash. Wee-shon-jing. I'm your host. I was about to go, trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a glorious day. We're out back here at Tooties and the New Editions. She's out hitting the links, believe it or not. Okay. Working on her short game for the spring. All right. You know, a little winter rules. Sure.
She's got a caddy, lets her in. All right. Whatever. Mike Coates is coming at you from right next to me, unamused this week. He's a tough layup this kid. My co-host, CEO of Are You Garbage, international businessman, Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, what's up, everybody? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube and now full video available on Spotify. Check that out. Then the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. Are You Garbage?
Check that out. Check out that Route 66 tour. Cook it over there on a used to page. Well, we couldn't be more excited to have two of our incredibly special guests here with us today. Two of the absolute funniest, two of the best, couple of good-looking kids, too, let's be honest. Ladies and gentlemen, the history hyenas. Yeah, Mommy and Daddy.
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Chapter 3: Who are the History Hyenas and why are they on the show?
Mommy and Daddy.
We got the boys here. Yeah, Mommy and Daddy, we reconciled. The divorce has been rescinded.
We're back. We got the kids back. We got everybody. Well, we lost a couple of kids in the divorce, but that's okay. But Yanni, my wife.
Not for long. Go to patreon.com slash history hyenas.
Yeah.
I hear the sex is better than ever.
We're going to have a battle of the patriots. Well, the sex is better than ever because Yanni, my wife, lost the weight. Yanni's weighing in at 196 now. It's the first time I see my lady. First time I see my lady under two hundo pairs.
Johnny, you did come in really first day of school in it. You got the new boots on.
That's a guy whose wife dressed him. Put on your boots. He's got his brand new car art boots on.
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Chapter 4: How does buying and selling homes lead to chaos?
It's only for convertibles? Yeah. Unfortunately, my garage is a little bit of a problem. It's got low ceilings. Why don't you get a lift for the garage?
Why don't we raise the ceiling a little bit? Raise the roof. Wait, hold on. That doesn't make any sense.
How do you get the car in there? The car, when I pop the hood, I have to control the pop. So it doesn't hit the, I got to open it by hand. What? What?
So if you had an SUV, you can't get one in there.
You can't get one in there. Is it a drop ceiling? No, it's not even a drop ceiling. It's just when they built it, I guess it was built for Chinese.
Right. Is it connected to the house or a detached garage?
It's underneath.
It's underneath. You're on a hill. I'm not interested. He's on a hill.
That's what matters.
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Chapter 5: Why is Chrissy's garage so important?
Yep.
Down the hill.
That's very old school Queens, Brooklyn. Yeah.
That's where they killed Joe Pesci. Right there. Throw him down. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I'm not interested in a house. For me, the garage. You're renting again. I'm renting again.
This kid's all, he calls me. I buy a house. We start talking. How's the house going? I go, great. He goes. Best decision you could ever make. Next text right away goes, I sold my house. I'm going back to the apartment.
Chrissy's got two roommates again.
I said, listen, the mortgage rates are the lowest they've ever been in history. I bought during that time. I said, let me wait till they triple, then I'm going to sell. And you did. That's what I did. And that's what I did because I like a little bit of the chaos, and it's a regrettable decision.
But I will tell you this is I've been trying to look at a couple of houses again, and anyone on Zillow, anyone listening to me, any real estate agents that I may or may not hire because I'm always firing them and hiring them, I'm not looking for houses with detached garages. I need the garage attached to the house because that's where I put the gym. I don't pull my car into the garage.
I put my gym equipment in the garage, and I leave the car outside the garage, and I just wipe the fucking snow off like an American.
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Chapter 6: What are the challenges of planning a wedding after 10 years?
Netanyahu.
You said that like AI. You made it sound like he's in Apache.
Yeah, and I don't know why his face isn't on chocolate drink bottles and they're calling him Netanyahu. I don't know why they're not doing that because every time I hear that guy's name, it makes me think of a fucking yoo-hoo, and I think they should combine the marketing. Yeah, and there's no milk in that. There isn't. No. That's dairy-free, Ulu. Dairy-free. Big fan.
We were speaking about the Yuka app before. This app, it's not a sponsor. I don't have anything. I would love for them to get involved, but you start scanning different foods on this app. It's called Yuka, Y-U-K-A, and you start seeing the chemicals. Every food gets a score. Like this right here. Here. Let me do this. Let's scan these puppies. Jesus Christ.
Danish butter cookies, 24 out of 100, folks. Is that good or bad? Bad. It's red. Bad. Additives. It's got additives. It's got saturated fat. It's got calories. It's got sugar. It's got calories.
No shit has got calories.
Stop it. You're making Foley hungry.
Somebody get RFK out of here. Well, Foley. These guys coming after Wendy's. But here's what I like. It's an American institution. Right, but here's what I like about this app is if it just told me the food's bad, I'd say, thank you. How's it fucking help me? This food gives you recommendations. Alternative? Alternative. So Royal Dance Danish Butter Cookies, get a 24 out of 100.
But for 72 out of 100, which is good, good, good, you can get T-Rusk whole wheat crispy cookies.
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Chapter 7: How do comedians balance family life and comedy schedules?
That's how you know how probably difficult it is to be his real estate agent. They probably show him like a beautiful house, detached garage. You know, what if it's a foreclosure sale? Let's talk. Gray price. Yeah, gray price, $1 million. Turnkey. It's really a $10 million house. He's going like, the garage was on the house.
We're taking it. I've never had it. We can't guarantee you can smell calzones when you come outside in the morning. Here's the thing, and I've been told by two different people. This is the first time they did this ever in their careers, and they both did it to me. I've been dropped by two real estate agents. Oh. Real estate agents never drop anybody.
I mean, you find these people on Zillow, and I've been dropped by two of them. How does that breakup call go? They say, we saw the most recent one. They were looking at houses in Westchester. I was trying to get out to the Burbs. They showed us 12 houses that all could have worked, and we said no to all of them.
Up high Westerns like Yanni or down low Westerns? We went all over.
All over the map. And then the agent on the 12th one said, listen, if this one doesn't work for you.
I'm going to kill myself.
I totally understand. But I'm not the guy. I can't help you. Find someone else or find a different location. But I'm wasting too much time now. Because I'm coming out here and I've shown you multiple homes that would work. And you're finding reasons. I want you to talk to each other. You guys don't know what you're doing. Do you actually really want to move? Probably not.
Right, and the answer is probably not. Okay. The answer is, I mean, she has asked me, my girl has asked me to go knock on the people's door of the house we sold to and ask to buy it back.
Really?
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Chapter 8: What are the cultural differences in home ownership?
Oh, here we are. We're at the zoo. That grandma ain't got to come to the zoo. You got to pay that for that old bird. Plus, she likes your chicken tendies or whatever. Sure. You're saving money this way. Plus, the technology will blow their... brain. They wonder what's going on.
They're like, oh my god, are you in the house?
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