Yannis Pappas
Appearances
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Oh, yeah. That's the thing. That's what I was trying to say before. Waiters all stoked up. He's done extremely well in his career. He's done extremely well in his career, like crazy. He's at the top, but his accent and his persona just don't believe it. It's almost like his voice when it comes out, he goes, we don't belong here. But really, the wedding he would have would be at a catering hall,
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
The guys he's friends with are firemen and cops. They'd show up, you know, look, khakis.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Someone's going to forget to take the size sticker off.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Classy event. A couple of people I invited shouldn't have been there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
We got the boys here. Yeah, Mommy and Daddy, we reconciled. The divorce has been rescinded.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yeah, and Ari Shaffir wore fucking Chuck Taylors to a black tie event. That's what happens when you invite Jews to your wedding.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Not for long. Go to patreon.com slash history hyenas.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
That are a little confused. What the fuck is going on with these coasters on this shit table? What do you mean? What do you mean? Are you trying to protect this table? Nice table. He taught us Raymoor and Flanagan. Tootie doesn't give a shit. I mean, how redundant is this? I mean, this table is a coaster.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Are you making me put a coaster on a Raymoor and Flanagan table?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yeah, definitely. You got to have one of those. That's part of that. You've got a mini bar in his house.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You got to do that to complete the house, right? Sure. I need one. Do you ever go home? The problem with yours is the alcohol will be empty. It don't stay. My stuff don't hang around. Last time we saw you, you fell because there was something wrong with the stairs.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
And I said, what stairs were you on? Jack Daniels' house?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
And you know kids lie when you go, how are your liver numbers? He goes, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Swinging on it. When Chris headed the apartment in Bay Ridge.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
When he was buying furniture for it, he was buying furniture. I was his consultant. So we made some bad decisions on the couch.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
We could have just went, hey, guys, go listen to Are You Garbage? Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Hey, never see me outside. You know what I really don't like about this era? Is every person asks me, are you doing something?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
That's what it is when you have kids. And Chris, he's the pioneer of this. I got to give him credit. I think it's great. 6 o'clock shows.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
My mother, I don't even know. I just have a place. You bought an apartment in Bitcoin. Yeah, I just have a place.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
He's crazy. He's doing this fucking podcast in socks. Yeah, how great was it when you told your mom you actually had a job? I mean, that's all you need to tell him.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
That's fucking real money. Oh, that's real money. That's not just made money. That's not just, oh, my dad had a plumbing business and it exploded money. Shout out to that kind of money. You have a portrait of your ancestors in the foyer. Yeah, there's a baker. You have a cousin named Baker. I know all the lineage.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Is there a coal in your family? That's generational money.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Now, I'll tell you a big trash rule that I learned. Hit me. This was a move from New York, never living in the country, in the burbs type of- Such a New York thing.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
They just crank it out to some blue oyster cult. You know, the problem is the ceiling in my garage is too low. So I can't get a treadmill or else I'd go through the sheetrock. I don't think that's a garage. I was going to say, what is it, for a tricycle?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yeah, I mean, you ask anyone from Long Island, I mean, they think we live in, like, Canada. Because they just look at things like, why would you leave Long Island? So if, like, they got to go anywhere, they're like, why are you going to Canada?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
This guy is like 32 years old. So this is what I learned. I didn't know. I had no idea about this rule that the community gets upset about this. Every community. Um, we got the blow up pool for the little girls and we started doing backyard front yard on that. Well, that, yeah, I didn't know. I didn't know.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I had no clue. I had no clue that I was an eyesore on the community.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Why is that? We were on the front. We got a nice fucking yard. I mean, you know, we're hosing it down.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I was also leaving the boots outside the front door. You can't do that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I didn't know you're not supposed to use the front lawn. Listen, I bought a... It's not for use? No.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You want to throw the ball around? You can't put the barbecue in the front, right?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
It's only for convertibles? Yeah. Unfortunately, my garage is a little bit of a problem. It's got low ceilings. Why don't you get a lift for the garage?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I'm like, I'll just buy that piece of shit car from the 90s. Guys like you, Philly, New York, you don't believe that this is happening.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I've seen those old pictures. And let me tell you something. Your life is a fucking miracle. I mean, miracle on fucking Benjamin Franklin Park.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I mean, the trash that this kid was. I mean, have you seen his old pictures? I mean, we're talking about partying in a fucking first floor of a Ramada Inn.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
How do you get the car in there? The car, when I pop the hood, I have to control the pop. So it doesn't hit the, I got to open it by hand. What? What?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I mean, these fucking Wawa twins are a Philly miracle.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You can't get one in there. Is it a drop ceiling? No, it's not even a drop ceiling. It's just when they built it, I guess it was built for Chinese.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Or you could rent it to Dominicans that are hiding from ice. True.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Which could be in a couple of days. I was going to say. Well, they're not going to drag him. They have to cut the wall open. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be a couple of hefty guys helping out. You can have neighbors coming over, give it a hand.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
No, this is what Verzi did. This is what Verzi did, right? First of all, some strange looks from neighbors. Hi, some waves with some interesting looks.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
No. But even right now, I got a shovel. I got a shovel right outside the front door. That's a no-no, right? The body, nothing. No, no, fuck that. Unless it's snow. Did it snow? Off to the side.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I'm trying to learn the rules. So with no snow on the ground, you got to move it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
That's in the garage. The rock salt's in the garage. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
No, so Verzi just at some point it came up and he didn't say me. He was just like, you know, it's like people who have all their stuff in the front of the house. And then in my mind, I went, oh. Is he passively?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I don't know if he meant it, but that's what made me think of it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
That's a kid who should have been in construction. Yeah. Wait, hold on. It's underneath the house? It's underneath the house. Underneath the floor of the house.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
But you get no taxes. They don't tax you on that, right?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Really? Yeah, you get hit. That's the whole point for the above-ground pool. So your property tax goes up? Everything goes up. Your insurance goes up.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
So you go down his driveway. You have one of those? We got a nice clean coat of white that's covering up all the imperfections, so it looks like a finished garage.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Who was the guy who built that? Like a polo player? No, probably different back in the day.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yeah, unless you go with the salt water. Sure. Salt water pool.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yeah. I started an audio podcast program. You're like, all right, you don't know what you're doing.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
My wife's from Long Island, so we're never walking anywhere.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I don't even know if we've ever walked. More than like, yeah, from the driveway to get there. Maybe to the restaurant. I don't remember who's first. We go from the restaurant back to the living room, and we just sit in a cul-de-sac.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
No, she needs to learn the etiquette. You open the door. She walks in. She steps aside, in your case, way to the side. Ha, ha, ha.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yeah, and then she takes cover, and then you walk in, then she walks behind you, and you say the name, because if the reservation's in her name, then you got to grow a fucking dick. Reservation's got to be in the guy's name.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
But the initial door open is definitely let her through, but then she's got to step to the side and let the man through.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
And then she has, are Puerto Ricans allowed here? Yes, exactly.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I think that... That family only got with Chris because he was friends with me. Oh, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
The only friend I have whose family just wanted pictures with me as soon as they met.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
My girl's mom wanted... Yeah, she had a nice ashtray that she was into.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
She came out of the house. I was in the car. She came out of the house with the ashtray. She went and got the ashtray, and she was hoping that me and the ashtray would be together so that I could sign it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Plain slice with cheese. That's exactly how you know somebody moved to the city.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You like the middle? Like a nice fluffy middle. That's the Greek in them.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Or you could go, can I get a slice? If you say, can I get a slice, they'd know what you mean.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
It's really true. And you said it the best, funniest way. He said, you eat an alarming amount of pizza. Alarming.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I just said I went one time. Yeah, he was describing it that way. You were describing it that way.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
We also have in Bay Ridge, we have the chicken kuzlet. We have a chicken kuzlet sandwich named after us.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Huge. You made it. But it says History Hyenas, though. You just weren't there. No, no, it doesn't. I think it's just you.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yeah. Well, look. It's not a picture of me, but I'm done. My whole goal was to be up in a pizza place. I mean, that's huge. Johnny's in a dry cleaner.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I always wonder, like, Italians who get upset about, like, the stereotypes of everyone calling the mafia and stuff. It's like, yeah, well, maybe if not every Italian restaurant had every single mob actor up in the hallway to the bathroom. I mean, you guys are doing the stereotype to yourself. Yeah, maybe if the owner were Chaz Palmatieri and then he's sitting there with fucking...
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You go to Uncle Vinny's, it's a guy with a Tommy gun in the back of the fucking thing. Why are you stereotyping us to be his mom?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yeah. It's like maybe you guys are owning that stereotype a little bit.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
The only time where every rule has an exception is if it was snowing outside. Sure, your wet boots or something like that. And then you get maybe...
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
One caveat, if you have the floor to yourself, you know those apartment buildings where you have the floor to yourself? It's like apartments on that one. Then you can do it. Still looks gross. That's still your property. Yeah, but it's your property.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
He spent a couple of coins on renovating it for the nice family.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
It's boom in the tightest spaces I've seen, and he'll say it before. He just goes, and you know when someone usually brags, you're like, I don't know if he's going to get in this. He'll say, he's like, I don't know. I was born with the gift. of just being able to do this. I could do it. I've seen him fucking split hairs getting in. I could do it. It's crazy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
How did that happen? You just had a natural talent for it?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I've never seen anything like it. It's actually sort of like an autistic special power that I don't understand.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I get embarrassed so I just I'll try it like twice and then I'll get embarrassed and just say in my head it's too tight and just pull out even if there's plenty of space if I do twice and there's people waiting I'm pulling out I was leaving anyway remember you used to have the car that had like FDNY plates somehow remember wasn't there like a thing you had like an FDNY sticker No, no, no.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You just said that I had a white BMW. You said it looked like I was the wife of a firefighter.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Sometimes I've been like, I don't know if I can make this last cut, and I just leave it with the wheel out. Yeah. Like, yeah, I just do it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Well, you know, sometimes I've done that. I've got to admit, sometimes I've seen a spot that's so tight, I've stopped to see if the guy will do it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
And that's why we've been on the horn with Netanyahu trying to figure out how to get it back. Yes. Yes. Netanyahu.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Go around. When my wife first moved to the, we lived together in Brooklyn. She's from Long Island.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yeah, I don't think she ever parallel parked in her life, so I would actually have to get out of the passenger seat and finish it for her for a while. She just couldn't do it. Yeah, she just couldn't. I mean, a lot of people who live in the burbs, they just can't do it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
That was a similar situation to the one in Bay Ridge. She started telling everybody to fuck off even though this guy was pushing her and yelling at her.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You're going to be starting your own ID channel documentary in a couple of years.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Big part of my life. It's just a big part of being a New Yorker.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Patty melt. Patty melt. Deluxe. Yeah, it's a diner. Deluxe means fries. And then give me mayo on the side. And then I drench the patty melt in mayo and I dip the fries in mayo.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
No, no, no. I had a cone in my trunk that I would put. That was a good trick.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Look, parking in Brooklyn at night is so hard, so I had a little fucking cone. I would put the cone in there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
And hoped it would be there? Occasionally it would, but usually no. And then I just lost the cone. Somebody just took the cone. Because probably someone said, this is probably a good idea. Because they looked around, they saw no other signs, and they're like, some guy's trying to fucking hold the spot.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
They're fucking cheating with these fucking cameras.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Pull up behind me. Yeah. That's what I used to call whenever I raw dog the girl. I'd go, I did the crime. I do the time two to 22 days. Wait to see if any symptoms pop up.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Symptoms, pregnancy, that's when it's going to pop up. That's what I used to call doing a bid. Yeah, doing a bid. Yeah, 22 days of worry.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
He does bids like crazy. He doesn't know what life on the outside looks like.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yeah, blowys in the back because the cab, you know, it's got the divider. It felt like another world.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I got a blowy from my ex when we were in college. She was my blowy from high school, and I got a blowy in the back, and it was fucking great. Pretty cool. Cool. It's like an American holiday in my life.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
If you don't have earbuds in. If you got earbuds in.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yeah, dude, let me tell you. For me, that's like hearing a German train conductor. I'm off. I'm getting off. Yeah. Yeah, I'm off. I'm sorry. I just fucking, I want my guy with a white beard and a drinking problem. Yeah. That's what I want flying my plane. Did you see the one at O'Hara Airport that just happened?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
I mean, dude, they're happening like every week. What, today? It was like yesterday. So I don't know what's going on. The plane comes into land. You saw it? Yeah. Fucking jet coming across. He has to come right back up or they would have just slammed right into each other.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Dude, it's kind of scary because our whole career is just getting in planes. And the more planes we get in, the more chances we're giving ourselves to fucking. It's Delta, too. It's not Delta.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Yanni, what do you got for them? Yeah, catch me on the road. When's this coming out? Next week. Oh, you just missed me in Philly. Damn it. Which is fucking a large fan base of yours. God fucking damn it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Because his eyes are almost touching. Yes, exactly. Cleveland and San Diego and Rochester and Springfield, Missouri. And History Hyenas is back.com for all your information. Check that out. And it's good to finally be on here with you boys.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
What are you doing? She doesn't want to move there. This is my theory on Chrissy. It's just you got to understand you're dealing with a kid from Ridgewood, Queens, right? So there's certain things that make those kids comfortable.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Whenever Yanni say he's a kid from Queens, he gets all caveman. That's when the bottom drawer comes out.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You know something good's coming. So he's just a kid. There's certain things that just needs to be comfy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
That's how you know how probably difficult it is to be his real estate agent. They probably show him like a beautiful house, detached garage. You know, what if it's a foreclosure sale? Let's talk. Gray price. Yeah, gray price, $1 million. Turnkey. It's really a $10 million house. He's going like, the garage was on the house.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Well, if you knock on the door and just say, hey, the whole neighborhood just became Jewish, maybe they'll be convinced to sell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it really is. It's like we've got to launch another crusade to get that house back.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Jesus Christ, it's like free money. Yeah, I fucked up. Even if you wanted to move, you should have rented it out and just kept it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
They're going to change the venue nine different times. Well, it's looking like a lab-grown diamond. When you propose after 10 years, you already fucking bought the horse, you get the lab-grown diamond.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
You went to fucking Zales. Where do you think you went?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
It was a beautiful proposal. When you have kids, I thought it was really touching. Right, with the kids right in front.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
History Hyenas!
Because technically, he wasn't, you know, you wanted him for your, I mean, he's technically.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
He looks like a black guy who bleached his skin.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah, he's just a white guy, dude. From Staten Island. He's a fireman's son. He's like as white as he's yet. White working class as he's yet. But he does have a black face.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
And he's got the cock to match. Supposedly. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
It's definitely not small.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
There's a certain length to get into that party that's been established as a precedent that was set that he had to meet. You got to have a dick that size, you have to have 50 Bitcoin. One or the other. Kim Kardashian, you know when you go on the rides, your kid goes to a ride and the ride says you got to be this tall.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Kim Kardashian just goes and measures your dick and goes, you can come into this ride. You got to be this tall. You got to put it on a digital scale. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Do you remember when we were in that sushi? She's probably thinking about you right now. 100%, dude. She's probably watching our show, History Hyenas.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
She's probably a big fan. She's probably on the Patreon. She's probably on the Patreon. You never know. Do you remember when we were in that sushi restaurant in LA with Tim Dillon? Oh, yes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
So Emma Stone was in there and she went to the bathroom. No, but wait, but Giannis, you're missing a key part.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
then go ahead and then she was in the restaurant like in a movie 20 minutes later actual emma stone walks in and yeah yeah and i think she came in for this was my like serendipitous moment she came in because i i think she's the most gorgeous thing in the world i love how big her eyes are i like pale women uh except for my wife my wife's the most beautiful half italian half greek
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
She went to the bathroom. She went to the bathroom. And I just saw it as an opportunity to be in the bathroom after Emma Stone. So she went to the bathroom, came out, and then I went to the bathroom. And I did not sniff her seat. You did. I did not. But I did sit down and pee. That's perfect. I did sit down and pee.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I just remember how good the bathroom smelled.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
It could have been just the way he was eating. Just like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I was ready to go. He has an outfit. He has an outfit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I think Tim fucked her husband.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I think that's what happened.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah, yeah, that happens. You know, that's what just makes me think about celebrity. Is it worth it to just like, you know, Emma Stone, the poor girl, she just went into the bathroom to take a piss. And then there was this guy that went in there and just sat down and peed after her. And I'm telling it on a big podcast. I'm sorry, Emma Stone. I'm sorry I did that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Your hair looks great, dude. All right, we're good, dude. You guys can't stop me.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
What I want to do is hang an ornament right off that Christopher Reeves curl.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
He was a closer. I mean, he was a headliner. You can't use the guy when he went up. You're like, all right, we should only do another show two days from now. Yeah. Yeah. Let people kind of settle. Yeah. He was a talker. I think he gelled the hair, but I think he left the front flap. I think he knew the effectiveness of the flat front. It was a it was a tail fat.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
You would have done the same as what you're saying?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah, it's my space. But I didn't do anything. But I have not bathed the bottom half of my body since.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
So she's with me. I don't know if that's creepy. She's with me. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I mean, I do hang out outside her house a lot and take photos, but that's a different thing. That's public property. Girls love that stuff, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah, dude. They love it. Yeah. It's a thin line. It's a thin line between complimenting them and creepiness. It's a thin line.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Pheromones.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I don't know why your thing went off. It's fucking bullshit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I think so, man. The best sex. Are you sure? Or is that just something Jim Norton told you because he likes to get women's shit on his chest? That's what Jim Norton told me after he was like, just drink this.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
And then I always loved when he did that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Fix your fumes. It's like a shop in Rome. Fix your fumes. Yeah. Ground from the ground up.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
You couldn't do anything about it. I know for a fact if I was an emperor, that's just, unfortunately, that's what I would do. I would just roll around my chariot and go.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
So what are you going to do? Do it for your family. It's a write-off. That's a really great Republican platform. Why not? Yeah. It's like, you guys want lower taxes?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Whoever gets the bronze medals and worked there until he's not remembered.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
And I did the right thing. My opponent here, he thinks nobody should pay taxes. I believe that the government should pay for gender reassignment surgery. That's my position. That's what it is, yeah. Yanni goes left. Yanni goes left. I think that's my position. Gender reassignment. Dude, we met our driver yesterday. So you can have something to jerk off to. Yeah. Dude, our driver yesterday.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I saw that clip. Yeah. Yeah. And ain't nothing wrong with it. I'm off of porn. I'm off of porn. Yeah. Ain't nothing wrong with it. Not at all. Yeah. Sometimes you just look and you go, I'm fooled.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
a like a straight up you know buck angel sure like a dude with a pussy or a lady with a dick who would you rather tranny yeah i mean can i do it quicker yeah it's crazy yeah it's it's a weird it's i'll even go one further like a hot beautiful tranny with a great personality because it's not all about the physical for every woman or uh like a butchy lesbian or roseanne o'donnell Trans.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
And I'll just pretend if we're having sex that my penis was so big it popped out the other side. So all you got to do is use your imagination.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
It's subconscious and it's just the way it is. And the truth is that gay guys don't watch that. They don't like it. Some of it's impressive. It's almost like impressive. It's like when you see when a Puerto Rican soups up a car, you're going like, look what they did with that fucking Honda. The ground effects. This was a guy. Look at the rims he put on that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Look at those fucking rims he put on that body.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
So you, kind of like us, have a little bit of a female brain. Because you like the imagination. Well, you know, that's not uncommon amongst us. We are performers, and here's the thing. If you're a performer and you get into the arts, you at least got nicked. You at least got nicked by the gay gene. You got nicked. Some people get fully clipped, like Mateo Lane, we got nicked.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I mean, but Chris did try to crawl in my bed last night and cuddle with me, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
But you're a big fan of history. Yeah, just a quiet, slow one.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
But yo, we talk about this all the time, and you love history too. On our show, we talk about when you look back at history, all the empires, just the top guys, like the viceroys and the emperors and all that, they just engaged. They took whatever was on the table. Men, women, eunuchs, boys. It's crazy. They were the toughest dudes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Alexander the Great was the most masculine guy, and that guy had a straight-up boyfriend. Yes. He had boys. But an actual lover. That was his, I can't remember his name. I'm forgetting, something Greek.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
No, he had one guy that was like his 13-year partner. And when that guy died, he made it like a holiday. He quieted. He was beside himself. Damn. And yeah, I think he just was in a great depression because he was in love with a guy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
That would be, dude. He's gonna watch us and take that. Yeah, but my point is like- You can take it, dude. People think that's so shocking that there's a presidential candidate who was gay, but when you look back at the Roman Empire, Trajan, was a full gay dude, and he was like the best Roman.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
He was like one of the ones by historians that's considered to be like one of the best emperors, and he was just a gay guy. He wasn't even into like, I'm gonna marry my horse, or you know, he was just, loved that. Just a gay guy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
They can get kind of nasty. Yeah, they can get really nasty. You know what I just thought of? You know what's really funny to think about? Michelangelo, fully gay guy, painted the Sistine Chapel. All the people that come in and pray hate homosexuals, but the biggest Christian icon in the world was made by a flaming $3 bill. I think that that's kind of poetic justice for the gay community.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
You know that was started by some powerful dude with a small dick, and he was like, everyone's dick's going to be small. I don't want anyone to see. Because people probably saw each other's dicks all the time. They only had togas on. So when they sat down, I mean, they didn't have underwear yet.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
They all shit together. It was public shit, public toilets. And they would hang out and it was social for them. They'd shit next to each other. What about toilet paper?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
That's the thing. I think they used water. They used leaves. I think they used water.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Downtown Manhattan. Right. That famous, like, lake, remember? Oh, yeah. Old Brooklyn. Old Manhattan.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Collect pond. All the butchers, all the waste, human waste. Big gangs in New York time. Yeah, gangs in New York time. It was just this disgusting lake that had all the waste from animals and butchers. They would do it. We always say history stank. I mean, it just, you can smell, when you think about what history must have smelled like, it was Teddy Roosevelt who was the one that changed it all.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
But people did die of like, you know, viruses, germs.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
The weak definitely still kind of got, you know, it was more animalistic in the way that, you know, if you were at a weak immune system, you were going to go. Yeah, you're out. Nowadays, you know, there's a lot of weak people walking around. Yeah. Myself included.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, they did it better. Nobody has a better joke about that than Greg Giraldo. You ever see that Greg Giraldo joke? He's like, back in the day, some soldier would be like, dearest Martha, please kiss the children on the forehead and your visage. I miss your visage with every battle.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
And then now he goes, the letters now are like, dear Marie, don't fuck nobody. Yeah, I'll be back. It's changed, yeah. It's true.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Guys at the top always have some peculiarity about them.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
And here's the thing about Napoleon. He actually wasn't that much of a squeak.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
He was a little guy under five, six.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
That's fucking bullshit. Yeah, dude. It's fucking bullshit. Just lets you know, man, like a lot of the stuff in history is just not true. It's just misinformation.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah, and right now you do look like a high school offensive coordinator with that headset on.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah. Yeah. Get in there. He's like, oh yeah, okay. Put your mind in it as a colonist. You go sit over there and don't talk. Yeah, get some guys in chains. I was just listening to your instructor. Yeah, yeah. And what's this Mexican doing? Sorry. They didn't even know what that was back then.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I'm hating myself, you dirty fucking Greek. You Greek shit. You white N-word. Sorry. That's okay. I put myself in the mind of a colonialist.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah, there was a time you'd look at him. Back then, he was this fucking dirty Irish. They were the most racist against Irish people in New York.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I look like a cop. I really look like a cop. The only thing you'll be is like Robert Frost's Road Less Traveled is a beautiful poem, guys. I know, I know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
They had better drugs. Yeah, true. The best bands had better drugs.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
You have to be on a little bit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
You've got to be a real psychopath to just...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
They weren't sitting there microdosing mushrooms.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Right.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
He did it at a time where the parent would have sided with you and not the kid.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
You got to shoot him the next day. And the next day you're just blowing his butt. Yeah. Just lets you know how big propaganda is and where you need it. Like you just need it to be like, look at these dirty jabs. So you just need it. Otherwise guys are going, why am I killing these guys?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
He taught you football, so.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Or a dude who didn't even bang your girl. I know. Or get the TV show you wanted.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
It's a weird on and off switch.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
You have no reason to kill this guy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
He was a good guy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
yeah and just did it but that emperor is like fucking dude i don't know yeah you know they our politicians know our weakness all you got to do is like a little fake attack on us yeah a little something like and that gets us yeah pearl harbor 9-11 the drones that's why i think anyway they'll be like we're going to this country they didn't have anything to do and they're like just fucking kill people one of our boats one of our fucking boats nobody was like wait a second
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Why are we going to Iraq? Everyone's just like, go.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
They're flying their drones right now over my house. Honestly, dude, who is the president? What is going on?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I don't know. Blue beam. I've heard of it. That's what everyone's saying. I think it's called blue book. Blue beam.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
People get really whacked out about it. You got to unite people. There's too many languages, dude. It always marks language, religion. Yeah, true. What should we go with?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
No.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah, they can do it. They can do it. They're the smartest people and smartest humans. Let's just be honest. They're Ashkenazi Jews. Romance languages are the best sounding languages when you don't speak them.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
They are pleasant.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
When I hear Hebrew, I'm like, I don't want to speak that language. It's harsh. Hebrew is harsh.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
We'd lose so quick if it was a real thing, though. Yeah. I mean, dudes that can come here like light years.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Pow, pow.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
That's what our guns would sound like to them. Pow.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
And they'd just be like.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
But they may look at us like cattle, though, and be like, you know, they may look at us like ants or something. but not even have that compassion because they're like, look at these stupid. That's true, too. They're doing podcasts. They're talking. They're probably digging the cast.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
It might be the thing that they like.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I don't think the drones are sniffing for nukes, though. That was a big theory to me. Yeah, I said it's nuke sniffers. And even if they are, I don't think the drones will, I don't think the nuke will go off because it's in America. I think the nuke knows, like, I'm home. This is where it created me. Yeah, I hope so.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
It's like, oh, I don't want to do this. But like, you know, it was created here. So like the nuke kind of knows like, I'm going to kill my father.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
They think the drone's sniffing for the nuke. Where it is. Where it is to find it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
But with girls, but to me with girls, are you all right? Yeah, no, I'm Googling this story that's going to blow your guys' minds.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I have no fear of that for some reason.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
This is why we come to Austin. We're practicing for the new world. What a dump at night that street is.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
They're like, they're looking at us like we would look at ants and like, what do we care? Or they're jerking off to us.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
that's yeah because think about it when you jerk up to something shameful and then you just jet you like leave like so maybe they're just taking it out they're wanking it and then they're and then their commander's like where were you and like he clears the search history yeah the ones who die are like the people who get caught like auto erotic he's fixing yeah yeah yeah dude he's out there jerking off yeah him as he crashed yeah because it's the only thing they come and then they bounce so what are they doing
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
What are they doing, man? I don't know. They're either totally disinterested or it's a fetish. It's a kink for them.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I think one of the big things they probably, to get that advanced, I think they have no shame. Because I think the thing that holds humans back is shame. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Shame. It's like, yeah, but it's all our anger comes from shame and it's all projected out.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Because you just made a solid point.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Once you hear, fuck dude. Whenever I've done that show, once he starts talking about grizzly bears, I know I'm bombing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
It's like, you know what, man? You just got to cook it before trigonosis sets in, man. And I'm like, okay, I'm boring you. Yeah. So that's the sign.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
He's such a busy guy. I think that's how he schedules in his socializing. Because he's so busy, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
But to Chris's point, this is why I don't think it's real. And it's probably like a set up, like you're going to be this guy because it is illegal. So like if that really happened, the guy would be like get in trouble. It's illegal.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I think probably if you do it, then maybe you... I don't know anything, but maybe you can.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah. The human brain is wild, isn't it?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Or they get off on it watching dudes kind of uncomfortably bang their wife. Yeah. It's a weird thing. People got weird things. It's crazy, bro. Y'all got something.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
No, I would. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
It's probably better, better than most. If you're a criminal, just take a flight to Norway and commit a crime and then you just live.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I don't know if this has ever happened on a podcast, but I just realized that I got clipped. When did you get clipped? You got clipped? I think I just got clipped. When? You started talking, and I was like. You got hit? I think I might have got hit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Is he really? In a fucking open air jail. I don't think he's ever going to get out, but the laws are that he should, but they keep finding... Oh, OK. All right. So I miss. But it's funny because technically he would get out. But because of what he did, they keep finding loopholes to keep him in there because their own laws by their own laws.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
They're all about rehabilitation.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Two days before the inauguration, so get down there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Get tickets at historyhyenasisback.com, christycomedy.com, or yannispappascomedy.com.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Thank you, guys.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Tell us about it. I got to brace myself. Tell us about it. Wait, this is the exact position I was in. I think I got banged. Who'd you get banged out by? Someone made you an artist? I think Saint Saviors. I think, yeah, somebody turned me into the arts. No, I'm kidding. But dude, there's this crazy story where my brother went to Poly Prep, you know, Poly Prep in Bay Ridge.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
They got bad hair. They're no good for you. I will make it so barbecue is available for everybody in this city at all times. And I just always wanted to stand at a podium and feel like I'm in a primary. It feels good, doesn't it? It feels fucking powerful. I know. I want to almost go like, yes, yes, I said, who said? Yes. I said, I said. You feel it now. You feel the fucking.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Anyone can look up this story. There was this- Brother who was an openly gay man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
So I get his pain. What was really happening? But dude, this story's crazy. Philip Foglietta was his name. And he was a legendary football coach at Poly Prep. And he molested, he had a legendary program that they were incredible. The community supported him. Whatchamacallit. The mobs, what was the mob guy?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Before him.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Gambino.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
His son went there and this kid clipped like hundreds of kids. Hundreds of kids for so long and it finally came out and like so many kids got clipped and it was happening like in front of kids. They had jokes about it, but it was just back in that era. But he was like a gangster too? No, he was just a legendary football coach. Oh, I thought you were saying he was like part of like the mafia.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Gambino's son went to that school. I don't think he got clipped.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
He was quite a little cannoli cream. Yeah. He was like the last guy anyone would expect, but he would take kids and he'd put them in his Cadillac. He did it in the most Italian way. He'd be like, let's go get some Zeppelis, kid. You're a good lineman. And he'd be like, let me see your penis. This will help you. You want to start? Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
a boy and a girl first like they finally kiss and meet yeah like their brains like you don't think it's payback though for like centuries and centuries and centuries of 50 or 40 year old dudes just marrying 11 year olds and now girls are finally like you know what I'm gonna bang this 16 year old just to pay back what guys have been doing to us for so long. Yeah, like, I'm gonna be a pedophile.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Dude, being white and standing behind this podium is... I got ideas right now.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Was she a babysitter or a family friend? She was a family friend.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I might have told you. Maybe I told you. She was a family friend. The thing about the women. It was awesome. Yeah, that's pretty cool. They always do it like that. They even do it in a woman way. Like they get to know you first and talk to them. Guys just snatch you up and put you in the car. Women are like, I'm going to give you Spanish lessons after class. Yeah, you're my little buddy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
They do it more emotionally.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
No, I'd like you to be a black guy with a big dick.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I just want her to know that it's, and I'll give it to her. I'll be like, I get what you need. Do you know the rest of that whole film?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
The biggest things I've seen are, it's fucking crazy. Shut up, Tim Fudd. Can you cackle that? Just put a mute over that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
He named a real guy. I named a real guy with a fucking dick. I mean, if you saw this thing, you're going, what? He's a mutant? What is this? Big cocks.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
They do. I mean, not all of them, but the ones that are big are like big. And like the Chinese guys, I mean, we've all seen the porn.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
You'd get a reduction?