Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Simpler Hair Color: Head to https://SimplerHairColor.com/AYG and use code AYG for 10% off your order Bombas: Head over to https://Bombas.com/AYG and use code AYG for twenty percent off your first purchase Pretty Litter: Go to https://PrettyLitter.com/garbage to save twenty percent on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: Who are the hosts of Are You Garbage?
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Isn't it? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's a good to be classy. Hello. But they're just a big old piece of trash. Rubbish. I'm your host, Stace Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
Chapter 2: What is a family episode?
She's upstairs making sweet love to herself. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. And he is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman. And let me tell you this right now. Next time you're reaching for a best pal, do yourself a favor. Make it a keppy. Earl LaCroix, whatever you want.
Kevin Ryan, everybody. What up, gang? Shout out to the homies and the bozos. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video now available on Spotify.
Look at that.
Look at that. Climbing up the charts over there on Spotify. I'm too savvy. Obviously, the Route 66 special. If you haven't already seen that, go watch that. Share with a friend. Put it in a group chat. The whole nine yards. Thank you for all the support on that. Live shows are in full swing. Tickets are moving. Get those. AreYouGarbage.com.
That's right, baby. I had a question for you before we get started. Hit me. I've been trying to take better care of myself. All right. I didn't know we were going to start off. What? In Foleyville. Therapy. One of the pills.
This, that, the other thing. Those are Suboxone. Okay. Yes, you are taking great strides. If you're not on the Patreon, Foley's going through a journey. He's taking great strides in himself. Yeah. Got a salad for lunch today. Threw it at me. I was promised a submarine sandwich.
Anyway, I'm getting older. You know what I mean? And though I have a youthful appearance, right? I've been blessed with good genetics.
You look like the fat guy from Mr. Deeds that he beats up in the nice restaurant. The opera singer. Pull that, drop that in right there.
What is your, and you're the wrong person to ask.
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Chapter 3: What are the hosts' routines for self-care?
Sure.
Huh.
Just fuck. What are you doing here?
I'd be good at that. Get me in there.
Then go to bed without brushing your teeth. Listen to me, kids. All right, but all that's neither here nor there.
You know what I mean? That's what I said. It's a goddamn family episode. Family program. You're talking about this filth. Uh-huh. I asked you what your nighttime routine was. You start talking about dirty shit.
That wasn't me.
That was you. No. Yeah. It's not what the... Read the meeting minutes back.
Meeting minutes? I don't know how we got there. Let's go. All right, this one's from The Deals. $10 homie, ever seen your dad cry? I've only seen it three times. One, at his mother's funeral. Rest in peace, Granny C. Two, our dog dying. Rest in peace, buddy. And three, when we watched the movie Armageddon. No, if you're not crying at the end of Armageddon. That's like the notebook for dads.
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Chapter 4: How do the hosts feel about their appearance?
Heart's in the right place, though. Cut to a few weeks later, I'm cruising down the sidewalk, and some grown-ass guy in a beat-up Mustang yells out the window, hey, that's my skateboard. This guy flipped a bitch and chased me for a few blocks, even went up a curb trying to run me over. I ended up hopping a few fences and almost got mauled by a dog, but I got away.
I painted the board, swapped out the wheels, and watched my back for a few months, but I never saw that guy again. I mean, that's like, dude, the levels of dirtbaggedness. I respect the brother for stealing it. Not respect it, but it's like. That was so well written. That was great. I painted the deck and swapped the drums. My brother stole somebody's skateboard. I don't know.
My brother ended up with a skateboard that wasn't his. Let's just say that. Oh, shit. And I think it might have been a debt or something. Somebody owed him money. He took his skateboard. I don't know. Something. I got you. Something not on the up and up. And he painted it green with paint that his buddy had. And it was drying, and I came home from wherever I was. There's a green ice cream.
Probably at a gym. The cheese factory. I came home and it was leaning up against the wall green. We don't have a fucking green skateboard. So I went over and I grabbed it and the paint was still wet. So I go inside and I was just skateboards at or whatever. And he's like, I just bought it. I'm like, why'd you paint it? And he's like, I don't know. Now, like, I know something's up.
So he goes outside to look at it, and my fingerprints are on it. And he goes, you fucking ruined my paint job. I go, no, I didn't. He goes, let me see your hand. I had green paint all over my fingers, too. Got me. It was all over the cheese, too. We got to wrap it up, though. What a good one.
What a fun one.
Yeah.
Gang, we love you to death. Grab some tickets for the shows in April. Yes. Right? Check out that Route 66 store if you haven't. Like we said, we appreciate all the love and support for it, and we love you, and we'll see you next week. Peace.
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