Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley to discover the true King of the 'Burbs. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Do You Wanna See AYG Perform Live in your City? Click Here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1nIJgvAZNftO_J655NLbu_phPt-HvzDj-tfzBt_uWyjI/viewform Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/GARBAGE This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What cities are the boys touring in?
Hey gang, Kippy here. We're planning the fall leg of the Back on the Block Tour, and if you live in any of the following cities, click the link in the description and let your boys know.
We got San Francisco, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, and last but not least, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The boys are coming home, and we got a big one. These shows are going to go quick. Click the link
in the description sign up for tickets we love you see you on the road welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts kevin ryan and h foley
Chapter 2: What is the premise of Are You Garbage?
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage? You know it.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah. Or if they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in a new edition. She's upstairs. She's got a bag of Razzles. Okay. It's candy, then it's gum. She can't figure it out.
She don't know what the hell she's doing up there.
I said it turns into gum. Don't swallow it. It's stuck in her hair. She's like the girl in the infomercials in black and white. She can't get her head around it. She's stuck in the blinds. She's like, it's candy.
It's gum. I'm like, it's both. Save me a couple. Hit me. Mike Coase is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode. It's just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman. He's the king of the burbs, baby.
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Chapter 3: Who is the king of the burbs?
Give it up for everybody's favorite American dad, Kevin James Ryan. What up, gang? Shout out to you, gang. The new Chevy Chase. King of the burbs.
First of all, thanks for tuning in. As always, just make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Mm-hmm. Could use a couple more reviews over there if you're listening. Bump reviews up. Full video available on YouTube and Spotify. Shout out Spotify.
Patreon.com slash Harry Garbage. Best website in the whole wide world. Yep. Check out the Route 66 special that's currently streaming on YouTube. On our YouTube page. And Quibi.
Crackle. And we got the new card game out. The 2025 edition. The third edition of the RU Garbage Card Game. Play with your friends. Play with your family. Find out who's trash and who's not. And come see a live show.
Yes, come see a live show. We still have a little sudden. We had to cancel the March. I'm sorry, April 14th, the Monday show in Pittsburgh.
Still coming there Tuesday.
We're still there Tuesday. Sold out. Sold out, no big deal. Cleveland sold out. Still a couple tickets left to the second show there. We unfortunately can't make it. Boys are jammed up. We can't make it. We love you, so we'll make it up to you. And also, more dates coming down the road. More dates coming down the road. Just got the fall dates. We're taking the summer off.
Kippy's having a goddamn baby. I got to be home.
So if you're in Cleveland and you want to see a show, come see that second show. Otherwise, we're going to be off for the summer a little bit. Boys are taking off for the summer. I got to raise the dad king of the burbs. What I wanted to bring up. I wanted to tell you this before you get into that. Man, if there's ever been an H Foley, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
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Chapter 4: What are the differences between Home Depot and Lowe's?
I mean, what? Get out of here. It was Hechinger's and Sears.
when Sears was really popping back in the day, excuse me, and then Home Depot came in, and it was a natural progression from Hechinger's to, oh, we got a Home Depot now. Yeah, no, I remember, yeah. I don't even know if there's a Lowe's in that area. Maybe there is. I don't know anybody that goes there. You go to Home Depot.
Growing up, my dad, we would go to Home Depot, and then my stepmom would go to Lowe's, so that was just where Broads went to me. That was like, you know, home. It's not, but it was like home improvement for like the broads. I think the orange sells it. Something about the orange. Because that seems construction-y.
Or maybe you're just doing that because that's what you think of Home Depot, chicken or the egg type thing. Very true. What do you got?
Lowe's was open first. What? In 1929, Home Depot didn't open until 1978. There are 50 years on them. In the U.S., there are 2,025 Home Depots, and in the U.S. for Lowe's, 1,748. Double. No. What?
250 off. Yeah. Oh. By 300 or something. Oh, okay. That's not that much.
No.
That's like we would... I can't go... There's 300 less.
You brought up a point.
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Chapter 5: Why do foxes scream at night?
That's nice, though. Maybe you have a little. That hellhound will get him, though. If he gets his hands on one of those baby fox, man, they scream, too. You don't want to hear that in the middle of the night. You'll think it's a banshee coming to get you. Those things scream like an infant child. It's scary.
All right, man. That's no good. I'm telling you. No, what's no good? You do what my wife does. If they're screaming. You're the king of, like, I tell you a problem and tell you how I fix it. You got to take care of that. You got to get on that. I don't think you completely fixed it. Why didn't I completely fix it? Because the fox is still under there, maybe with a family.
Okay, so what am I supposed to do? Displace the fox? That's not you. No, no. So what do I do?
Put some cabbage out or something for him. What? I don't know. Leave a riddle for him to solve.
Hey, you don't know. You're the king of thinking I haven't solved the problem correctly. You have woods behind you, right? There's no streets behind you. There's woods behind me. There's streets behind me. There's a lot behind me. I'm not living in anyone's front yard, I'll tell you that much. Fucking breaking my stones. Fox or no fox. You're living on a guy's property. Nuh-uh. What?
They moved in after us. That was all woods back there.
And we sold off some land.
You did it. You're renting.
Sharecropping. Fucking Vandy patch over here. Vandy track. I wouldn't live in your front yard if you gave it to me as a gift. For the pipeline. For an above ground pool. All right. So you got a fox, huh? Shout out to Lowe's. Shout out to Lowe's. So that's where you went was Lowe's? No, it was the Depot guy. But I didn't go back. I forgot something. How's your chicken wire game? Pretty good.
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Chapter 6: How long do groundhogs and foxes live?
Yeah, that's right. You'd be surprised about how many people poop in supermarkets. You'd be wildly surprised. What do you mean? Poop on the floor? Like their pants. No kidding. Yeah, it falls out. Yeah, a lot. Don't, don't. Yeah, I mean, listen... I don't know. That's a tough one to call because it's great. But then that's a tight setup. I've never heard of it. I got to be honest with you.
I've never heard of that. I would do the same thing.
I'm not saying what that role, what way that goes.
But from what I remember with Costco, they're huge shopping carts. How does it even get through the door?
Maybe he got a big door. Maybe he goes right into the garage door or something. Or did he say apartment building? Yeah, I think he'd say right to the fridge. He might be speaking a little. It might be like right to the front door maybe. And then it's all like from the front door into, you know, he carries it right to the fridge, right to the house. Yeah. Either way. Trashy.
Trashy, but borderline genius.
Good for you. Yeah.
You got an easy setup.
That's fantastic.
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