Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host Big Jay Oakerson! We're talking demons, dream body's and how to be the best dressed at a wedding. You know Big Jay from stand up comedy, his new special They/Them, Kill Tony, Matt and Shanes Secret Podcast, Legion of Skanks, The Bonfire, the Joe Rogan Experience, Whiskey Ginger, Stavvy's World, Soder Podcast and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Aura Frames: Exclusive $35-off Carver Mat at https://AuraFrames.com. Promo Code: GARBAGE Blue Chew: Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com! Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code GARBAGE -- just pay $5 shipping. True Classic: Upgrade your wardrobe and save on True Classic at https://trueclassic.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What exciting events are coming up for the podcast?
Gang tickets for the Back on the Block Tour are going quick, baby, so get them wet and getting is good.
Yeah, we're coming to San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Burlington, Boston, Atlanta, Charlotte, Raleigh, Richmond, Baltimore, Philly, Rochester, and Toronto. All tickets available at RUGarbage.com. We'll see yous on the road. Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Hell yeah. It's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah. Or they're just a big old piece of trash. Garbage. I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She's down at the DMV getting her real ID. Wanted to remind everybody the deadline's coming up. He writes what he knows. He's struggling with that at the moment. Mike Coase is coming at you from right next to me. Pay no mind to him. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify, gang.
Check that out.
And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. Go over there, get all that bonus content, and go get some live tickets. The Boy with the Back on the Block Tour is on sale right now.
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Chapter 2: Who are the hosts of 'Are You Garbage'?
It doesn't matter if your friends who smoke are wheezing, coughing, having trouble sleeping, migraines, anything. As soon as they stop, you're like, fuck. You're in it together.
When you're all dying, you're like, we're in it together.
How about that feeling? Have you guys gotten rid of the, or do you still see it? Maybe you don't even do it. When I'm at an airport, particularly, when you go outside to smoke before I go in. We used to love it. But not even that. It's looking around. When I see an 80-year-old guy over this way, I'm like, nice.
Oh, really? You can do it. Yeah, see I do that I'll be outside smoking or something like that and I'll look around and I'll see like the grossest woman ever Oh, yeah 37 Like this built like a pirate. Oh, yeah, fuck. What am I doing? Yeah, I think about what I look like people see me smoking They must have been like what the fuck is wrong with this guy?
He's not gonna make it a little too close to the Sun this big fella You guys have a hard hard time first couple weeks. I
I will see. I wanted to quit. I was like, oh, I'll quit at the beginning of the year, the beginning of January. And at the end of December, I got real sick, COVID or flu, whatever the fuck it was. And so I was out of commission for 10 days. And I was like, hey, man, if you're going to do it, you're already 10 days in. Like, just fucking roll with it.
Yeah, that's great. That's the move. Not me. I like marine crawl outside. Smoke one. He's on a radio.
I was over it. I confess to him today. I had a couple on Thursday. I was dealing with something. I had a couple. But it's funny. Is it real ID? God damn it. Can't find his DMV. Did you get yours, by the way?
No.
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Chapter 3: Why is Big Jay Oakerson a special guest today?
I was like, can't be with Tommy Bahamas all through high school.
My mom called me the other day and goes, uh... This is such a funny thing. She goes, I remember when I was younger, when I worked. She goes, me and my friend Janine went out to a club. And at like 4.15 in the morning, we got the idea. We left the after hours. And we got the idea drunkenly. Like, let's drive to the corporate offices of our job in Boston.
And she goes, so we started driving right then to Boston. She goes, we only got as far as New York, though. And then we just kind of, like, bad idea.
Still too far.
And we just slept in a parking lot and went home. And I was like, corporate offices for what company? And she goes, big and tall. Casual male, big and tall. I was like, wait, this is when I was alive? She's like, yeah, you were nine. You were home. I was like, where was I? She goes, with your mom. I'm like, that makes sense.
You were at Bubba's house.
I was at my mom's. Oh, man, that's a tough one. But my mom was like, damn, is that what you were doing in your downtime? What were they going to do? Get trashed till 4.15. I don't know. Like, storm the fucking place.
I know.
Like, Fight Club?
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Chapter 4: What are the struggles of quitting smoking?
Do yourself a favor. The next time the mood strikes you and the lady or the guy or whatever you're up to, Do yourself a favor and get some Blue Chew. We're talking about the same active ingredients as in Cialis. You're ready to go. It's like a... The old thunder stick.
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She's been calling me. Get your first month of Bluetooth. She's calling me. She needs it. All right. No one's giving it to her. Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at Bluetooth.com. Let's go. And we got a special deal for AYG listeners. Try your first month of Bluetooth for free when you use the promo code garbage. That's a lot of sex. Just pay $5 for shipping.
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Yes, we do. I remember one time I called Kurt Metzger over my house because there was a dead mouse. It took the bait and died, but I have no masculinity in me to pick that mouse up with a paper towel or anything.
Nothing?
There's nothing I could have thought of where I would have been okay. If Kurt was never going to come over, eventually I would have shoveled it or something. But it's... When I tell you that me and my ex-wife were in a knockdown drag out fight one time, just going at it, full yelling. It's awful in the house. And I was cleaning just to kill time or whatever. Just said, fuck this bitch.
Probably complain to her and be like, you don't even clean behind the stove. And I moved the stove. And there was a dead mouse back there. And it's because I was so, my mind was so somewhere else. I think I kicked it into a dustbin and like threw it in the trash. I didn't think twice about it. But if only my focus is on that, I'm like, I get like girly, like creepy crawlies. So demon.
I guess the answer would be demon.
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Chapter 5: How do comedians deal with clothing mishaps?
Yeah. That's funny. I remember when I had to make 7-Up your shirt. I wore it to seventh grade immediately. They made me go to the nurse and turn it inside out. Really? Yeah, because it was like profanity or whatever. Oh, seven up yours. Make seven. Because that was the whole campaign was make seven and the back of the shirt said up yours. So everybody's like, fuck you, fuck you.
Because they're just reading up yours. So that was like the big thing. They cause chaos when they walk down the street.
I have to think. I have so many shirts that are just like funny things I thought of or inappropriate to the world that... When I travel on the weekends, how many times have I had to, like, Febreze the shirt I came in and flew in on because I realized the shirt I wore the night before that I'm going to fly in says, like, I do hand stuff. Making them?
Yeah, just, like, fans make them or I've made them and all. But it's, like, jokes on them, they're definitely inappropriate for the world. I just don't even think about that. Sometimes on a Saturday when I lay my shirts out for the weekend, I always go, all right, I've got to wear that on Friday because I'm flying in this one. I got some roughies. That's nothing on a plane.
You're in Comfort Plus with an Everybody Loves Cox shirt on? Oh, my God, yeah.
I haven't floated one time that says, No God, No Santa, No Snake Pit. It's a real big no. No God. I'm like, piss people off.
What's Snake Pit?
Oh, that was a shirt made for a... I... said uh i know the the bass player from five finger death punch chris kale and he he was gonna hook us up they were opening for metallica and metallica's got a thing in the center of their stage called the snake pit it's just an opening where you could fit a couple hundred people in there And he was like, I'll get you guys in the snake pit.
He told us, like, all right, it's going to be me, Bobby Kelly, his son, and Christine. And he's like, yeah, I got you guys for sure. And when we got there and went to will call, of course, it wasn't snake pit. And Max, Bobby's son, of course, was devastated by this somehow. And we just couldn't. They busted my balls for a week that we didn't come through on the snake pit.
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Chapter 6: What funny stories arise from awkward situations?
I hate it going the other way so much that I've changed. Anything like buying ticket apps, always have that. There's a button you can push that says include fees and taxes. Just tell me what the fucking whole thing is.
Yeah, just tell me what the whole thing is. StubHub kills you.
Just tell people. It doesn't matter. Exactly. It doesn't matter if it's a $250 ticket. It might be a $415 ticket after they fucking hit you with StubHub. So it's a $400 ticket. Fucking clean anyhow. Pieces of shit.
Scumbags. I need money for my magnet belt. Which you should get one. Yeah, I can't make this. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Big Jay Oakerson. Specials out on YouTube, them and they. It's a two-parter, absolutely fantastic. Again, we mean that, dude. It's unbelievable. Best in the biz. Coming up this weekend, you want folks to know?
What do you got? This weekend, no, in two weekends, I'm in Liberty, Ohio, Cincinnati area. Governor's Long Island coming up. BigJayComedy.com for all my dates. There you go.
Check them out. Guys, we're all over the road. Tickets on sale now. Get them while supplies last. Ladies and gentlemen, we love you. Jay, we love you.
You guys love you. See you next week.
Peace.
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