Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley talking about Credit Card Fraud, Piranha Attacks and answering your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Tour Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Lucy Goods: http://lucy.co/garbage Promo Code: Garbage Acorns: Head to https://acorns.com/GARBAGE or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today! Factor: Get started at https://FACTORMEALS.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What comedians are featured in this episode?
attention attention army of garbage the boys are back on the road for the back on the block poor baby talking about stand-up comedy plus we play are you garbage live with the crowd it's a great way to introduce people to the show so grab the squad come out and see us
Yeah, this March we're starting in Pontiac, Michigan, Indianapolis, Indiana, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Madison, Wisconsin, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Cleveland, Ohio, Atlantic City, New Jersey, and gang, tickets are going quick. Get them while supplies last. The boys are coming to town. See you out there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Hey, yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's good to be classy. Yeah. You're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in a new edition.
She's out in the driveway shooting some hoops. Okay. Oh, that's a good one. I don't know what you were expecting. Okay. That's an H-Foley original. I'm back, baby. Can't tell me nothing. She's out there with the sky hook, the underhand, the whole nine yards. Okay. Freezing out there, too. Snow game. Ball's as hard as a rock. Uh-huh. My ghost is coming at you from across the table.
This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. Like the circle of wagons a little bit. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman. And unfortunately, my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ. Kevin, who's that unfortunate for? Because I don't think it's great for either one of us if we're being honest.
I believe all parties involved. All parties involved. We both got a raw deal in this one. Man. I got a raw deal from Jump. This guy stinks. What's up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube and now Spotify, baby. Not that. Full video available on Spotify.
Then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. You go over there, you get all your bonus content. You get to ask your garbage question on the air. Shout out to the homies. Also, go over to www.rugarbage.com for the Back on the Block Tour, baby. The boys are hitting the road starting in March, April. It's going to be a good time. We got Pontiac, Michigan. Tickets for that.
I don't even know if they're going to be available by the time this airs. You got Pontiac, Michigan. You got Indianapolis, Indiana. You got Milwaukee. You got Madison, Wisconsin. Tickets are 75% gone. Tickets are moving. They're going to move. And we appreciate it. And we love you. And we love you. We got Minneapolis, Minnesota. We got Pittsburgh. We got Cleveland. And we got Atlantic City.
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Chapter 2: What cities are the tour dates for March?
We did.
We went to a knockoff P.F. Chang's. P.F. Wang's. Pull your beater out. Put pants on. Shout out to P.F. Chang's. Okay. Okay. I've soured on them a little bit, to be honest with you. You find one pube in your chicken. All of a sudden, we can't go there no more? You're too good. I got a little present for you. You do? I do, after you've been treating me fucking like an asshole all day.
We've had a rough morning. It was a rough morning. That's the way it is when you're in business together. You crack a little heads every once in a while. You butt heads. You got to break some eggs. We're in here doing shit. We're not out there hobnobbing. Some of us are doing shit. Doing a lot of stuff. I had to put you in a room and make you work for 15 minutes today. That's brutal.
And then we started having a fun conversation. And he's going, hey, knock it off. Hey, stop. Man, if my breakfast hadn't gotten there in time, I don't know what I was going to do. Now, what do you got for me? Is it money? No. Okay. It's better. Better than money? Uh-huh. In your economy. Food. Close. So I was over. Food money. Money I can eat. You got me chocolate money?
Do you remember the bubble gum wallet by any chance? What the fuck? Yeah. Oh, yeah. The dollar. They had dollar. It was like a wallet. You open it up and like a bunch of, you know, like the pictures, whatever. It would fall down. Kind of. Yeah. They had a bunch of plastic sleeves with like they were this big and that the dollar bills were that were gum. Was the wallet made of gum, too?
I don't think so. I don't remember that. Imagine like a checkbook. You got to pull this up. I got to see this. You got eyes on that?
Is it a bazooka product?
Ah, buddy, I mean... Love bazooka. I mean, they are at the head of... Love me some bazooka. Especially the purple, the grape. That'd really get you. Why do I have a pen? I don't know, because you were doing work this morning. I think it was Wallet's Bubblegum. That might be it. I don't know. I mean, I don't think I'm going to be able to find this. I remember my mom saying, no way.
And then I went somewhere with my dad, and he was like, yeah, I don't care. Man, I showed up to my mom counting bubblegum money. Like it was a tubey. I had it like it was drug money. Like, how you doing, bro? I found bubblegum money under your bed. A couple of Cheez-Its for me and the boys, huh? I don't think it was a wallet. They were like, you know, you slid into a little plastic.
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Chapter 3: What is the meaning of being 'garbage'?
They'll even make it if they don't have it. You go to a restaurant, you'll be like, let me get a fucking.
They'll give you both.
It's orange Coke. I guess. Fanta orange. I believe so, yeah. Mezzo mix. That's what I was told. See, the Europeans, they do this. Take a look at this. It's a law. You got to keep the cap attached to the bottle. Yeah. You just got to rip that off. USA. Cheers. Thank you, my friend. I appreciate it. Only one. You get two sips. You get the first sip. You don't get to crush the cow.
He's going to get to diet. What? That's not the full thing. What kind of present is that? If I brought you Diet Coke, you would just start slugging it. All right, don't chug it. Stop being gluttonous.
That's fucking fantastic.
That's all right. It's got a little hint to it. It's Fanta off rip. Then goes cola. Then turns the corner back to Fanta a little bit. Can I tell you what it tastes like? Sure. Haribo gummy colas. Okay. That's delicious. All right, easy does it. I'm going to wet the bed. I used to get that all the time. Like Fuller? Wet the bed. You are a wetter. Thank you. Can I drink this? What? Can I have this?
Sure. I mean, what are we going to give it back to me? Man, that's all right. I brought you sodas from far away land. How'd you get that over here? You're like a king in the 1300s, wanting spices and stuff from a far away land. Oh, yes, yes. What do you mean, how'd I get it over here? I bought it at the goddamn airport. At JFK? What? In Germany. Yeah, it's from Germany.
Oh, you bought it after security. You put that in the carry-on for me? I did. Wow, thanks, buddy. With the bad back and everything? With everything. You still thought of me? Uh-huh. Aw, I love you. Thank you. Do you? Yeah. Sometimes. I love you to death. What are you talking about? To death.
You're my best friend.
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Chapter 4: What funny stories do they share about their past?
Against you.
That's what.
Not against you.
You think it's a battle every time with you. Folks, that's Mezzo Mix. Yeah, we got to get stuck in some fucking East German money. Oh, that'd be nice. Mezzo-Megazine. What?
It's a West German product.
Old school. Cheers to the good guys. Here's to the allies, baby. Made fresh every day at Checkpoint Charlie. Would Checkpoint Charlie have been as popular if it didn't have such a zippy name? If it was like Checkpoint Dan or something like that? Might have been one of the dumbest things I've ever said. Yeah, what are you, a Catskills comedian? What the hell? He's got soda on the brain.
That's going to make your teeth fall out. That's double the shuggies, Dad. Is it? I mean, I don't know. Probably not. You know, the Germans keep it tight. But it's crazy. The Germans would have that like once a month. I'd be crushing this. This would be my drink. He's got one next to the bed stand. Wake up in the middle of the night. How does that be it? A warm mezzy.
Oh, yeah, mezzy and a schnitzy. Shut up, dude. A nice schnitzel. Uh-huh. That's pretty good. All right, let's get it. Enough messing around here. We got business to attend to. Gang, as you know, it's a family episode. We're doing a program here, a show. I know. When you sign up for the old Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air.
The homies get the first crack at it, and we're working through them. This one's just funny, and it's a shot at me, which I respect. This is from Garrett. My kid only wants the goldfish crackers. Does that mean he's destined to be bald? It ain't a good sign, pal, if I'm being honest with you. It's a lot of red number four or whatever. Yeah, it's bad news. Do they got that in there? I don't know.
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