Sean Hayes
Appearances
SmartLess
Bad Dates Season 2 with Joel Kim Booster!
This season, he'll be your guide through all of the iconic and painfully true bad date stories that his guests reveal with all the gory details you loved in season one. And we'll still hear real letters and voice messages from listeners sharing their own worst dates. Plus, Joel will weigh in about his own lengthy and bizarre time in the dating trenches.
SmartLess
Bad Dates Season 2 with Joel Kim Booster!
Hey, SmartList listeners, it's Sean Hayes with some exciting news. One of our SmartList Media shows is back with a brand new host. I'm talking about the one and only Bad Dates. And for season two, it's hosted by the hilarious Joel Kim Booster. You might know Joel from Apple TV's Loot, Hulu's Fire Island, his Netflix comedy special, or his very revealing guest role on HBO's Industry.
SmartLess
Bad Dates Season 2 with Joel Kim Booster!
We love the show because everybody has had them. Everybody can relate to them. And now it's time to laugh at them on season two of Bad Dates with your new host, Joel Kim Booster. Check out this clip from the show and follow Bad Dates wherever you get your podcasts.
SmartLess
Bad Dates Season 2 with Joel Kim Booster!
You can hear the rest of this episode by listening to Bad Dates wherever you get your podcasts. Smart. Blast.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
And then finally she falls through the door and currently goes, hey, everybody, look, it's Diane. It's so funny. I don't know why. That fucking, every part of that joke to me, every bit of it just fucking works. It just makes me laugh.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
The only time I ever got mad at Jimmy was, remember, Sean, he wanted to switch tape nights from Friday to Tuesday nights. And I love the idea that Friday night when you were done, then you had no homework for the weekend. Right. And I always felt when you had the tape on Tuesday, you're like, ah, you're thinking about it because, you know, Monday you got to camera block and do all this shit.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
But why did you fly back again this weekend? And I know you're going to say it because I want to see the kids and stuff, but come on, man, you got to take care of yourself. You can't do that. Yeah, you can take care of yourself.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Ted, you had the good fortune of working. You mentioned Mike Schur, whom we all know and are friends with. And you got to work with him on The Good Place. And now you and Mike have a new show. Yeah. Is that right?
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Sean just watched a five-part miniseries on chili, on the food, not the country.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Let Sean and me edit. It's a real boring high class complaint. No, no, no. But Sean and I will edit. It'll be fun. It'll be so new to you. You'll be like, what the fuck? It's a great new approach.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Well, it's interesting because, well, you know, Pete Giles went to the Sandy Meisner for two years, too, a friend of all of ours, and a bunch of people that we know. But what I found is, what's interesting is, you go and you study theater, you went to Carnegie Mellon, you can go to lots of, there are a lot of great places around the country.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
But what's the most valuable is when they start talking to you about what to do when you're trying to get a job. You know, because all that stuff is really great. It's sort of great theoretical stuff, but it's so much different when you start to get into trying to get a job. Meaning like how to audition and how to like... Well, how to audition and how to do it in the moment.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
You know, it's like they don't have time for you to go through your fucking process when you're a young actor and you've only got a couple lines and you've got to show up. You've got to show up and deliver. You know why? Because, as you guys know, because they've got to move on.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
They've got to get your fucking reaction or whatever your stupid thing is, and they've got to get after this other scene. So they don't have time for you to go like, um, do you think that my character would? It's like, dude, shut up. Yeah. And deliver. And that's the scariest part, right? I mean, when you walk in and you're the new guy, how scary is that? Right.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Wait, really? Scott is out? Yeah. That makes sense. So wait, so Shani, so you and... Yeah, so we did it.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
I knew it. You liberal, you elitist. No, it's fucking, give me a second here, because I want to tee off on the liberal elites. Great gig, by the way.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
That's why you're, I will say, that's why you're so chill. You have a really great vibe. I will say that.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
I just see those ads all the time on MSNBC. My friend always has this joke. He's like, we're a Sky Rizzy family. By the way, can I just say this? I mentioned Pete Giles before. JB, you played golf with Giles before over the years. The great Pete Giles. The great Pete Giles. And Sean, you know him very well. It just reminded me that any time he would get on the green,
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
And, you know, sometimes some guys go, hey, you know, because your ball is on the green, you're dancing. And he would, for years, say, oh, you're Ted Danson. For years, he would say, when your ball got on the green, you're Ted Danson. One of my best friends of all time. It just made me think of these guys. Because the green's a dance floor. Go for Sean Hayes.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Okay, ready? No, you just fucking said it. So now name them. Well, obviously Cheers.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
But you know what, though? You know what, Sean? So I had on, what is today? I had last weekend, I had all of our good friend Bradley over here, and we were watching some soccer and stuff, and he came over, and I said, and as you guys know, because Jason takes fucking pictures of it, so does Paul McAleese, of my freezer and my treats that I have in there. Jesus.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Ted, I hate to break it to you, man. You're on the fucking Mount Rushmore, okay? So, like, I got a news flash for you. And there's no... And maybe it's because of Jimmy and the Charles brothers, but they wanted you for that same reason that you described before. They wanted you to be good, and you were. You were so fucking great, man. And...
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
I wonder if you, when you come out of something like Cheers, I can't imagine, because, well, I can. When you have something that has such great chemistry, and it really works, and the writing is really good, and the performers are really good, and you have a shorthand, and you know when you're really dialed in, that is so fucking fun. And I've had a few of those moments.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
And one of them was really when I was the most dialed in and felt like I was in a work environment in that way was working with that guy right there with JB. When we did Arrested Development, there were a few months in there in my life where I was like, fucking fuck, we are dialed right now. This feels great. And it's hard, but you guys did that at a level for years.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
What's that like when you go from that and what's the morning after like? Is it like... You ended up going and doing amazing things after, but I mean the morning after a show like yours. What was that like?
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
He sees my treats, Bradley, and I go, oh, yeah, that's this, like, ice cream sandwich from this place out here called Round Swamp, and they make chocolate chip cookies with ice cream in the middle. Round Swamp. That's where your colon is.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
But that's life, man. I mean, we all handle things differently. Look, I can admit there have been lots of situations in my own life where I haven't handled it the best way. It doesn't mean that in the moment, but over time where I've kind of acted out in certain ways that were not the best representation. of me or the best version of me.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
And, and I've, and I've, you know, felt a lot of shame about that. And I've been, uh, beat myself up about it and stuff. And at the end of the day, it's just, that's life. We're all kind of dealing with it in the moment of figuring it out as we go.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
So he goes, are you going to have a little piece of this? I go, hey, man, I'm not coming back here. Yeah. I'm here this one visit, planet Earth. I'm here. This is a one-time visit to this planet.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Ted, you know what's so funny is we often ask people when they come on here, we're like, well, you've done this and what would you want to do? You've fucking done everything.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
You've done every genre. You've done Broadway. You've done comedy. You've done drama. You've done film. You've done... Like you've done... So I don't even know where to go with that.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
No, I'm looking to enjoy it as much as possible. All right. I'm not looking for—it doesn't need to be a long, shitty time.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
You look great. You look great and you are great. And what is it that you watch? Do you watch a lot of stuff? Do you devour other material too?
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
You know, enjoy it, man. Because I don't want the end of the day when we're like, Jay, how was it? And you go, ooh, ooh, ooh. And we go, fuck, we got to take the tubes out. Jay, how was it? And you go, ooh, ooh, ooh.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Yes. No, it's not, Sean, it's not. What are you talking about, BJ and the Bear? No, no, no, it's not BJ with the Bear. No, it's BJN. It's not BJ from a bear.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Way to go, Ted. Now you got Sean thinking about a basketball team. Hey, listen. Oh, man. Teddy, anyway. By the way, he guest starred on every TV show.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
I know. That is amazing. I know. You know what I forgot about? You did those three men and a baby, right? Remember those? Yes, those were great. You must remember. You were in them. What was that?
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Yeah. No. Oh, my God. But those, I mean, those were, what was the biggest, what was the... the hardest part on those movies? Because you're working with the baby. Was it working with the baby or waiting for Tom Selleck to glue on his mustache?
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
I've never heard a bad thing about him. No. That's why I made the joke. He's great. If he sucked, I wouldn't. He's incredible. Magnum PI for me was the fucking greatest.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Are you doing okay? Let's keep it clean. It's the opening. This is an all-new Smart List, dude.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
I just like the no Sasquatch as well. Yeah, he's no Sasquatch. It's not like intern people. Hey, look at this guy. He's no Sasquatch.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
No, you don't have to go. Please, we love having you. What was the last... Do you remember the last audition you had? I mean, it had to have been pre-Cheers.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
JB, can I get it out of you right now? If you happen to pass before me, will you let me put at some point, somewhere on your tombstone, do I look puffy? Absolutely. We were talking about that. Think about it. Think about it. Don't tell me now. It's a yes.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
No, no, no, no. That was an offer. I mean, I think it was. I mean, it was because it was through a bush. It was through a bush and it was just, hey. It was just a bunch of cash and a low voice.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
No, I know, I know. I'm just trying to think what it was. I think I... How about Arrested Development? Well, that audition was great. I was with Tony Hale and you, the last one. We were all in the room together. You, me. You crushed it.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Thank you so, so, so much. Thanks for being here. I'm going to say this, and I don't throw this term around lightly.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
What are you going to say? You're a world-class jerk-off. No, I'm not going to say that. I'm gonna say you're a fucking national hero.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
You really are, dude. You are a treasure. And I just couldn't think any more highly of you. I just think that you're a great guy and you're so great at what you do for so long.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
And keep doing it. And I'm glad you're doing a show with the great Mike Schur, whom we adore and is an unbelievable talent in his own right. And just thanks for doing this, man. What a thrill to be able to sit here with you and talk to you. Honestly, it's just an absolute thrill for me. So thank you.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Yeah, I can't wait to listen to that. Yeah, by the way, you and Woody, it turns out you've got good chemistry.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
No way. The Floyd show. Yeah. No way. Good for him. He was like, fuck it, I'm not missing this.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
He's so great. And, yeah, and, you know, Ted and Woody have their podcast, which he was alluding to, that I did the first episode of. Yes, that's very nice. By the way, now I'm taking credit. Like, I was on the first. I didn't even know. Oh, you launched it. I launched the show that I launched. Stop it. That they're doing is also on Sirius, like us.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
So check it out. It's called Everybody Knows Your Name, which is, I guess, an allusion to... Which is a nod to the song. Alluding to something. The song.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
The theme song. He's making a joke, you stupid ass. Right now, I want to go where nobody knows my name after that.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
I was looking at a lot of... Listen to this. By the way, Sean, before you get into it, can I just say this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so... Even if we haven't done a show in a couple of weeks... Go ahead. Yeah, yeah.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
I can see, you know when a soccer player gets ready to take a penalty kick? All the time, yeah. And I can, you know, they do that thing, the little sort of stutter step before they get into the ball. I can see you doing your little stutter stuff.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
What is happening? Inside your brain. Do we need to send somebody over to the house to do like a fucking wellness check on you? What is happening? What's wrong with you?
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Sean, how quickly, if we installed, and then we've got to get to our guests, but if we installed, if you came home and in your kitchen... There was a trough, but it was filled with donuts and all the stuff you love and Skittles and Hershey's syrup and Hershey's peanut butter cup and all this stuff that you wanted to eat and Sloppy Joe.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
SmartLess is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarv, and Bennett Barbico.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
How long is the time from the initial disgust and feeling of resentment and alarm of the initial seeing it to you actually getting down.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Yeah, let's get some people. Let's get some top design. Let's get Johnny Ives on this or somebody. You know what I mean?
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Well done. But you know what? He's a classy guest, but he's also no stranger to having a laugh. Oh. Because he likes to laugh, but he's also made us laugh. This guy...
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
He's another one of these people, I can't say anything that he's done because you're immediately going to know who he is because he's such a part of the fabric of our lives, especially the three of us, because we are such admirers of what he has done over the years and how much he's made us laugh and doing the stuff at the highest level that we're like, oh, my God.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
And I would say this, not just doing stuff at the highest level, for me, potentially, doing... What I would consider, and no offense to either of you, the greatest American sitcom of all time because it just took me through so many, and it just always made me laugh. I got to talk to him about it recently with one of his co-stars. He's done a million different TV shows, but he's the best.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
He's, you know, Mayday Malone, Sam Malone. He's also known as Ted Danson. Oh, it's Ted Danson even.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
So, Ted, you and Woody invited me on your podcast, which very kindly had me on, and I just watched a bunch of episodes, and so I went crazy on you guys with Cheers stuff. It's the best. But I want to talk to you about... I'm so interested in that moment. So, Cheers is such a big thing, especially our generation. We grew up with it, and we weren't little kids, but we loved it. I was in college.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
What was... That moment, that first time you got the script for Cheers. I love this more than anything.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
When did I know the first moment that it was a big... What was the first moment that you laid eyes on the script for Cheers?
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
That must have just sealed it because you and Shelley had the most incredible sitcom... Chemistry.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Magic. Yeah, really magic. Chemistry, but was magic. I mean, Ted, you guys must have felt... That must be one of those things that was instant, right? There was just no... It was inescapable. You just had to... You know, it was...
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
By the way, by the way, when you said made your own, meaning you put cinnamon with sugar. Yeah, that's right. And then you stir it up. Okay, don't talk like you... I went into the lab.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Did you always want to do sitcom, like television comedies, because you've made a, you haven't, Ted, you haven't just made a career out of it, and again, at risk of embarrassing you, you've been at the top of television comedy for like 40 fucking years. Yeah.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
When you were a kid, were you like, I want to do a television company? Was that the thing that you wanted to do? No.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Oh, really? But Jay, you just did a back and forth. You were overseas on a thing, and then you came back to LA, then you went to New York a couple days, then you came back, and then you come back. Why?
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
It was a lot of fun. I love talking to you and Woody so much. I mean, you know, again, I'm going to get off chairs at some point because I've gotten off on it so many times before. Guys, see what you did there. But I love it so much. And I made Ted and Woody listen to me go on about one of my favorite moments, which I've said before, but I'm going to say it because I haven't said it here.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
One of my favorite moments, I think the funniest moment for me in TV history, for me, is this moment where Shelley Long goes, you'll never see me again. You'll never see Diane Chambers ever again. This is the last time you'll ever hear from me. And Dan and Woody and all those guys are standing there like, they're all watching. She makes this grand farewell. She walks out.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
And then all of a sudden you see the door open and she realized she forgot her coat. And you see her arm come in and start to reach for the coat rack. And Carla's standing there. And as you see the hand come, she just said, you'll never see me again. Hand in, feeling for the coat. And Carla just grabs the coat rack and pulls it. Just out of reach. So her hand, hand, hand, hand.
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
What at eight years old made you want to act? Was it that dance thing that you saw?
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
Was there any kind of, while you were discovering that you had dyslexia, did you know something was wrong? Did you do anything to try to hide it? I used humor. I used humor.
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
Yeah, I remember when I was a kid in school, I knew I had problems with my eyes. I couldn't see. And I sat in the back of the class and the class had two doors, one at the front entrance of the class and one at the end. And I would ask to go to the bathroom And I would leave the classroom, go up the hallway to the front entrance. And there was just a little vestibule before you opened it.
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
And I would look through the glass to read the blackboard to see what was on it. Then I would go back to my desk in the back of the class. Yeah. Because I was too embarrassed. I was like, I can't see. I understand.
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
You were very sweet to even talk about it. And I saw you on a morning talk show talk about it. I was floored. I was like, oh my God, one of my childhood idols is talking so lovely about me. So it was really.
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
That's very nice. I agree. That's true. We'll be right back. And now back to the show.
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
Ah, I love Henry Winkler. Are you... I mean, what can you say? Are you joking? I can bow for the sincerest sincerity thing. You're like dubbed the nicest person in show business. Exactly. You know what?
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
Now look at the desk behind you. My God, that's a pile of work you got going on in your desk.
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
That's right. So, Henry, that's hysterical. What excites you now? Do you still get up and like, I love acting. I want to keep acting until the day I die. Yeah, you still love it. Yeah, that's good.
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
Right. And I think when you lead with gratitude, like you do, people are then drawn to you. And that's why you are a light that everybody loves and loves being around. Yeah.
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
You know, that's your next book, Parenting, a book about parenting. You should. That was good advice at the beginning when you were talking about the kids and stuff, your kids.
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
But the gratitude thing is big. I remember walking down the street in Beverly Hills or West Hollywood or something, and there was a deli. I was walking into a deli, and he was walking out. And that's how I know it's all real because he's exactly how he is in life as he was when we were just talking to him.
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
It's amazing he was self-aware enough to be grateful about that success so early on.
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
And all the books that he wrote, what do you want to do to those books? Do you want to, like, get them? You want to, like, lease them?
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
Wow. What do you mean you were afraid to leave your apartment because you were anxious and short?
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
And written directly to your address? Like you just gave out your address?
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Was there ever a moment where you didn't want to talk about playing the Fonz? Never. Like a section of your life where you're just like, I don't want to talk about it, and then you embraced it, or no? No. No, because I understood in those 10 years, the...
SmartLess
"Henry Winkler"
Jason, he looks like, when he wears it, he looks like Beyonce from the Single Ladies video.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Marty, what was that? Speaking of doing your, you know, when Steve was talking about characters, I never knew, like, obviously I was such a huge fan of SNL then and now, but your character Jackie, somebody with the blonde or the white wig.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Jackie Rogers Jr. I've never known who that is or was, and I just... I'll tell you exactly who he was.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
I know. Anyway. I get that way too. I get that way too when people can't like get inside your head. I'll walk into a room and I'll go... I don't know why she said that. And Scotty goes, you have to catch me way up. Yeah. Like that's the first thing I'll say. Yeah. Because I'm so far ahead in my brain.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
No, me too. Steve, is it true years and years ago, Steve, that you, I've always heard this, I've never had the fortunate opportunity to have one, but did you used to have cards made when people came up to you, asked for a photo or an autograph, and you would just hand them a card that said you've
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
It does not. It does not. It feels like we've been doing it two weeks. It feels like 2,000. Okay, yeah, two weeks.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
I feel the exact same way. How's it going today for you? Did you prepare today?
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
You're doing the right thing. It's interesting, Marty. We've talked about this before. where people don't realize those kinds of on-camera interviews on those talk shows are kind of performances. And it's like we've all seen them and all witnessed them, so we know what the good ones look like, every single person in show business.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
or the booze. Yeah, you know what I can't stand though is when people go on who are funny, like considered funny people in the business and they just like to talk about something serious and people at home are judging them and they go, oh, I saw them on Letterman or Fallon or whatever or Kimmel. They're not that funny. They're not that funny.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Yet, yet a dramatic actor goes on and says one funny thing. People at home go, and they can do comedy. It's amazing.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
No, because 52 times four is 90. What? No. Oh, no. You're really getting stumped on this. Wait, what's 52 times four? Oh, my God. Eight. Five times four.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Did you guys know when you were developing it together, not of, I hate that question, did you know it was going to work, but did you have a sense that with the writing and you guys and like the first table reads and the first kind of days of shooting, like, yeah, this is, we have something here, or were you still kind of unsure until the season was wrapped?
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
A photo of an old sock. Get the photo, not the sock. I love too that you didn't know you had archives. You were just like, who was saving them?
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Speaking about receipts, when Marty's biography came out, He didn't send me one, so I went to the bookstore, bought it, and while I was at the cash register, put the book and the receipt, took a photo of it, emailed him and said, that's okay, I got it.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Marty, what about a documentary biography for you? Can't make his deal.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
They're trying to decide the ending. Yeah. How long are you in town, Marty?
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
All right. Are you in the middle of production? We don't start shooting for two weeks.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
You've stuck by it, and you've never deviated, and there's only one. I've said this on the podcast before, but any job I get the very first day, say out loud to everybody is... You look around and you can't find out who the asshole is. It's probably you. Yeah, it's true.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Okay. But that you use a sock instead of Kleenex or something?
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
If we added up our ages, it'd probably be around that. What a thrill.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
I remember doing Maya and Marty, the Maya and Marty show with Marty Yu. And we were rehearsing something in the hallway. And I said, should we just like... should we just kiss after that line? He said, yeah, let's do it. And he goes, let's rehearse it. And you just grabbed me and kissed me.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
It was great. I mean, you know, there's times in one's life Where you get to meet the people that inspired you and... And that moment has not come yet. And you guys are the two reasons you got into this business.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
You can toss it in the wash. Oh, I would have saved so much time.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Bye-bye. So I'm going to say this. I was at this dinner at our friend Ted's house. Yeah. And he had about 30 or 40 of the funniest people in his business. And I was fortunate enough to be there. And Dave Chappelle stands up and he gives this incredible speech about how everybody in that room
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
means something to him and has meant something to him and it was just incredible i was blown away by his speech and i thought good on him for making that speech in the moment while it's happening and so i had this conversation with myself i'm like do i say do i say it do i wait till we're done and i say it to you guys and it's like yeah no embrace the fear of saying that the thing that you feel in front of the people you want to say it to of course and and so i seized the moment and i was
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
What a bird of a time machine use. I was watching Oprah decades ago, and they did this. Did she cover this? She did. No, no, she didn't. And she did this piece on this college kid, and they took her whole crew there, and they went inside the college kid's dorm. And with no irony or joking around, they were interviewing this kid, and his roommates were like, yeah, and he's got this and this.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
And I hope it never does, right? And I never want to, right, and I never want to get to ever get to a place in my life where I don't recognize things like that and I take them for granted. Because we've all been in this business for fucking 100 years. And you don't want to just pass moments by where you're like, oh, yeah, there's so-and-so or there's so-and-so. It's like you know them.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
And it just takes a beat to go, wow, how did I get here? And those two guys are the one I got.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Yes, and now that we're talking about all this stuff on another level, that we get to do it together. And that I admire you guys and love you guys just like I did them.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
And look, and they opened up his side drawer right next to his pillow, and there was tons of Kleenex in there. Used Kleenex. And the guy goes, yeah, he gets sick all the time. Sure. He's always sick every night. And I was like sitting at home going, they actually believe that this kid gets sick.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
It's been on a podcast called 35%. Willie, you started this podcast today kind of down. How do you feel now? I feel a lot better now. Good. It always works. Yeah, you do. Yeah, right? It always does work. It always works. It's wild. You better fucking show up with the right attitude next time.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Yeah. You know, people come and go. You say hello. You say...
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
I'm good. I'm getting my teeth cleaned later today. You're getting your teeth cleaned? So that's a joyous day for you. It is. I like getting my teeth cleaned.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Well, yeah. Mine's the same thing, but they put those permanent things on the back of your teeth. Those little posts? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Also, your dreams are not as informative as it used to be. Marty, do you have excellent lighting or is that new work?
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
good wait a minute you know guys you know selena was on selena gomez was on our show a while ago and she said steve she brought you up and um she said that you know i always wonder if we're going to keep doing more seasons and steve says i want to do the show we're standing on the set and steve goes i want to do this show forever when do we get out of here today uh-huh
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Sean, was I in it? No, neither of you were in it. I was on the operating table and they took my heart out And it was just, and I saw them taking all of it out. And the guy's like- Was he filled with jujubees? No, no. And the guy said, I said, okay, so some procedures. And I'm like, don't I need my heart to like live like all the blood? Like I can't live too long with it outside of my body, right?
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Do you find people, Vince, like with quote, funny people, do you expect people, do you find that people expect it from you right off the bat? Is it something you have to turn on and it's exhausting, but once you turn it on, you're good to go, but you like to turn it off and just chill out and stay silent. Like, what do you like at home? Do you like to spar with your wife?
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Yeah. No, when I first moved here, I was really, really young. And I think I was just always on because I thought I had to be. And now that I'm older, I'm like, boy, God, did I exhaust a lot of people, I'm sure.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
What did I have for dinner? Oh, I had pita bread with chicken and hummus. It's called a falafel? Yeah, that's it.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
I was going to say, we were going to add it later, but I think that's safe to say. And thank you, Vince, by the way, for wanting and willing to be our first guest. It's a big honor. What a great start.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
um all right yeah great ready here we go everybody's real tired today i know wait wait sean wait jb wait i just woke up did you i really did just like did you have a dream
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
All right, listen. Wait, speaking of all, I love that philosophy. You were talking about all the comedy stuff, and I totally agree. It's interesting. Who was it for you growing up? Who were you like, gosh, if I could do that, or I could be like that, or I could have that career, I could follow his kind of trajectory? Redd Foxx.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
I have a couple things I want to go through when you were kids growing up in Chicago.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Wait, so did you know we were born in the same year and we were in Chicago? I'm kidding. This again? Yes, we were. So wait, Buffalo Grove, did you ever go to Woodfield Mall, Oak Brook Mall, or Yorktown Mall?
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Vernon. Oh, yeah, I know. I don't know. All right, so I'm trying to find, okay, so, and then, wait, first of all.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
I went all the time. Yes. Great America, which is now Six Flags, which is now something else.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
With the gum on the top? When you went through, people would stick their gum on the top when you walked through.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Wait, what was it? What was it before the demon? It was... I believe it was turn... Oh, yes. I don't remember. What is it? Turn of the century. Turn of the century. Really?
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
I woke up, yeah, I woke up at four, started playing games and reading stuff, and then I went back to bed pretty quickly. What was the game? Don't say games with an S on it. It's Candy Crush, period, isn't it? No, no, I usually play like Hearts, or I'll play Solitaire, or I'll play something mindless, so it kind of gets me sleepy again. Oh, because Candy Crush is the real brain teaser.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
In 2010, you skydived over Chicago as part of the Air and Water Show. And I remember seeing that and I was like, Why is he doing that? Yeah, what happened?
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Right, and we shouldn't do separately. We should just be bound as one. Take it easy, Sean.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
You just both die. I'll do it. I don't have kids, so it's okay if I die. Yeah, Sean, you do it.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
But now, Vince, you know that I... This is true. I just saw Rudy for the very first time maybe a year or two ago.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
It was incredible. And when I saw it, I was like, oh, my God. So this is part of the beginning of your whole thing. And then I saw February. I was like, oh, I didn't know John was in... Like, I didn't know anything about it. And how soon after that... did you and John decide to hook up and write Swingers? Was it like right after?
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
I got to get the yellows to match the bright reds. This is going to keep you up. Exactly. All right, here we go. You guys, nobody's in the mood for us today, but we're in the mood for our guests who are so excited. Let's talk, he's too cool for school, guys. These are all your hints. I'd give anything for just a fraction of this man's brilliant acting and improv skills.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Yes, and also made me feel like being an actor in that moment, you were just speaking to me and everybody else in this town.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Okay, so this is a mathematician. No, he's first, his first and last name start with the same letter. He's tall AF. Soupy sales. That's what the kids say. No. He played Daddy Warbucks in Annie when he was 12. Like myself, a born and raised Midwestern boy, and also like myself, afraid of the ocean. He may or may not have juicy dirt on Jon Favreau.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Fuck, man, that's great. By the way, I love that. I'm going to watch it at the end of the night. Makes me want to see it. Oh, Sean.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
It's my new best friend, the always hilarious Vince Vaughn. Cut the shit. Cut the shit. What's happening? How are you guys? Cut the shit. Good to see you guys.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
I've said it a million times. Wait, so you married a Canadian just like your mother, but you didn't marry your mother. You married Kyla. Well, we all do.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Go through it every day. I put my house on the market years and years and years ago and decided not to sell, but I heard that you saw it. You checked it out. Do you remember that?
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
What's the address, Sean? Wait, I want to know this too. What's the street start with, Sean? Sorry. Doesn't matter. I used to drive, and it's just stupid. So you're afraid of the ocean, and I am too. Why are you afraid of the ocean?
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
But Vince, what about it? What about it scares you? Because what scares about me is like, I've never, I guess all the movies I've seen, did you see Open Water? Do you remember that movie, Open Water?
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
No? I don't know if Billy, I don't remember who he is. There's the couple that go scuba diving and they come up and the whole team is left in the middle of the ocean. Don't you remember that? Yeah. I'm like, I can't do any of it. I didn't see that.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
You know what I mean? Listen, Vince Vaughn, before we let you go, I want to talk about Bad Muck. But first of all, we didn't even get to like Jurassic Park, Psycho, Maid, Old School, Dodgeball, Wedding Crashers, Breakout, True Detective, Curb. Oh, Dodgeball, that's another one.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
But tell us about Bad Monkey Bins before we let you go. It's with Bill Lawrence, and for Tracy, Bill Lawrence created Scrubs, he created- Ted Lasso. Spin City. Ted Lasso.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Vince, we've taken up a lot of your Saturdays, so we appreciate it. Absolutely love you so much.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
But I did ask him about that question. I asked him about like, you know, because I've been asked to do like improv. Yeah, call him back. Was that the one about what mall he likes? Which mall he likes to go to? No, because I worked in those malls. What's the matter with you? I worked there. This guy is so... So, but I asked about that improv thing because...
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
You know, you have to flip, you have to switch on. Like when you're asked to improvise and it's like sometimes when you're not in the mood, how do you do it? Like, how do you get there? It's just the older I get, I'm like, I can't do it. I need somebody.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Anyway, I'm so glad he came on. It was a long time coming. I was excited for you guys. Yeah, nice guest.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Wouldn't he be incredible? He would be an amazing talk show host. Amazing. Amazing. He's made for it. He is. Yeah. Do you guys get acid reflux ever?
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Well, I'm just going to say sometimes I get acid reflux. Is that right? Yeah. So sometimes I drink water. You know, to balance the acid-base pH, you know, kind of thing. Sure. And one of those things I drink is bicarbonate. I was just like, right by it again. I was wondering if you guys have ever had...
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Speaking about, though, you grew up in Chicago, so did I. Not far from you, in the suburbs, the great suburbs. Yeah, you grew up in Buffalo Grove. I grew up in Glen Ellyn.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
It gets better. It gets better. So, wait, did you, I read that you did children's theater there? Hmm. Did you do children's theater?
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Wait, but then you moved out in 88, is that right? Yes, right after high school.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Yeah, I get that. Hazel, did you go to school for four years? Did you go to college? Yeah, I went to Illinois State University. Okay. And I have a scholarship fund set up there.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
That's Normal, Illinois. That's Normal, Illinois. Yeah. Isn't that a funny name? That's the name of the town.
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
It was incredible. It's very sweet. At one point in my life, I did have two Tonys. But listen, I... Did they take a Tony away?
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Very sweet. So, you know, we were just on a previous episode talking about audition stories. And one of the funniest things, who was it that was like, was it Jason? It was you. No, was it you?
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Good luck with that one. But I read that you did something really, wouldn't you go out and shake everybody's hand afterwards or something?
SmartLess
"Vince Vaughn"
Okay, so don't worry about it. So anyway, I just woke up a little bit ago. I had the craziest dream. I'm not making this up. I had a dream. Was I in it? No. I don't want to hear it. Okay, great.
SmartLess
"Laura Linney"
When you didn't run after the first episode, I knew I was in good shape because you do like to be in bed at 5.30.
SmartLess
"Laura Linney"
But this is probably what would lead to our divorce. It's too much work. It's a workaholic.
SmartLess
"Laura Linney"
Sean's got that update on his iOS where he does double thumbs up. It's fireworks.
SmartLess
"Laura Linney"
Yeah, for trucks with a lot of gravel. Have you heard this? Sean, have you heard this? No. Oh, no.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
I want to get to, I wanted to get to Roseanne because I really think, I mean, when you guys were doing it at its best, it was just unrivaled. I watched it every week. I was such a massive fan of what you guys did, all the work, the writing, everything about it I thought was so good. Yeah. How did that come into your orbit, John, at the time?
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
Now, Sean and I send each other videos that we think are funny. Yes, yes. And it's really easy to do, and that's a funny way to communicate as well.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
What was that process like, making that? I mean, the big Lebowski obviously is held up as one of the all-time greats.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
yeah talk about that i mean i mean think about the breadth of of characters that you played with them at the helm as writer directors and all with such different tones too uh what is that shift like that dynamic working with them on on films that have such a hugely vastly different tone to them yeah they're such film fans and uh
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
I'm friends with... Yeah, we've had him on this show, and I've been friends with Barry for a number of years, and I worked with him a couple of times, and he's... You obviously worked with him on a bunch of great films, Jay, you mentioned. I mean, and also very different. Raising Arizona, Miller's Crossing were both Barry films. Again, so totally different from the script and the way they looked.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
There's a little icon there, and you can hit it, and then if we're all following each other, you can send it to one of us, and then we go like... Uh-huh, that's so funny because it's true or whatever.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
Did you see that progression? Have you seen that evolution? Because you've been with them for so long, and they might say the same about you. The evolution of them as filmmakers from Raising Arizona to Luanda, I mean, it must be pretty significant.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
I remember seeing you on SNL. It was, I think, Amy, my ex-wife's first year on the show. And you hosted. And I just stayed very far away. I remember seeing you at the after party and being like, oh, my God. Yeah.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
Well, you, yeah, yeah. And you were so good. You had such a facility for that. You could have been an all-time great cast member for sure.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
Yeah, by the way, this is our generation equivalent of when our dads used to say, I saw this thing in the paper today. Or on the TV.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
He was one of my idols, too, even though he was a little before my time. He was one of the guys I loved him.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
But did you want to get into comedy? Were you like, okay, I'm going to be, I think that I have a, I'm quite adept at comedy. Did you know that? Was that something that you were like?
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
And an incredible athlete. Yes, amazing. She's so good. She's been... Kicking ass, they beat another big team. You know that. You were there at the game. She told me who they beat the other night.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
It is getting worse. Oh, man. John Goodman, we have taken up way too much of your time, man. Just honestly, from afar, from very afar, just been such an admirer and just a complete fan of yours.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
Jason's in New York with a Wi-Fi connection in a rented apartment. He's just starting a job. Sean's in Hancock Park facing away from his TV. I can hear somebody vacuuming above me. I'm like, this is a joke. We're a bunch of clowns. So thank you for doing that. The great John Goodman. Thank you, my friend. What an honor.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
We didn't even get a chance. So he does the Roseanne. He's doing two television series. They do it like 12 years. Roseanne's like 263 episodes or something, right? And then he goes, and now they've done almost 100 episodes of the Connors. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Yeah. And in that time, he's made, like, ten movies with the Coen brothers, amongst others, you know.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
And he's just been in, like, the guy's just done it all. I'm not going to cry. I'm sorry. I just had a little bit of gas. It's just gas, America.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
I guarantee you this. I bet you if you go back and you find some of those early commercials, you watch them and you're like, this guy's great.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
Exactly. He feels iconic. He feels iconic and it's one of his first films. And you're like, Oh, that's John Goodman.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
And produced by the great, and the Connors still produced by the great Tom Werner, our friend and chairman of Liverpool Football Club.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
I wanted to say happy birthday to our buddy Billy Hogan over there at Liverpool Football Club. I think we missed it.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
But you know I always do like a classic. It's sort of like an homage to Marilyn Monroe. I always do that real close.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
First of all, I do have a buy that I was getting to, but I want to say two things about it. I think that you're right, JB. I think that's a good idea. Yeah, I would love that. But I will also say this. We are not taking fucking creative suggestions from Thoreau.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
Every time I see him, he says the same. You know what you guys ought to do? I'm like, shut the fuck up.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
Fuck you, Justin. Out to the mouth. Yeah, fuck you, Thoreau. You fucking fuck. Bye. On three. No, on three. Fuck you, Thoreau. Are you ready? One, two, three. Fuck you, Thoreau. Anyway, guys, I did get some new bye-focals. That's true. I did get some. I'm feeling really sad.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
I can't wait. I'm so glad. I can't wait for you to eat this shit. You're eating these words. You're moments away from eating— You're going to be so embarrassed. You're going to be— You're going to bow down to the power of this dude. Want one of these first? Let's do a dad joke first and then we're going to make him bow down. One dad joke. Go ahead, Sean. It's been too long already.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
SmartList is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarv, and Bennett.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
All right. So here we go. We've wasted this person's time and he deserves so much more respect than that. Well, we'll see. And Jason, I am so sorry because... This is a guy who's been doing it for a long time at the highest level. He's been nominated for... I think he's won an Emmy, nominated for seven times, Golden Globe, nominated four times. He's been just nominated and won everything.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
No, no, no, because you're going to eat shit. But more than that, because I don't even want to get into his credits because they're all the greatest, funniest, amazing movies. Not just funny, but also dramatic, but really...
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
For me, such a huge influence on my life. And you guys know because I have on this show used him consistently as the gold standard. I talk about people being okay, being in bad movies, but always being good. And he is always my example, as you guys know, of the guy who's never turned in a bad performance ever.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
And one of the things that I love about him most that he and I have in common is that... Is it the line when he said, you guys lost to a bunch of fucking nerds? Guys, it's the all-time champ for me. It's John Goodman.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
It is true. John, at risk of embarrassing you further, what a pleasure to meet you and thank you for coming and doing this and joining us.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
Well, I do use that. You often, and I'm sorry, again, at risk of embarrassing you, as sort of the gold standard of someone who's always good and never turns in a bad performance. And I've been such a fan of yours for such a long time, and you've done so many different things. And you've crossed...
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
You've done comedy in, you know, you've done sitcoms, multiple really fantastic sitcoms, like the old school standard, like multicams, like with an audience that is just, and to do that, pull it off well. Sorry, Sean. To pull it off well.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
It's the best job in the world. But then you've had an incredible career in film, but you started in theater. is where I'm driving at. Oh, here comes Sean. This is where Will and I just sit back. So I want to hear about what that start was like for you, Mr. Goodman, because I don't know the story and what your journey was.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
Oh my God, this is so good. This is my dream come true, you describing Instagram.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
Oh, wow. So where was that? So you were in school. Were you in Missouri? Is that right?
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
And did you have a destiny? Other than the city, were you like, I'm going to go do this, or were you just like, I'm rolling the dice here?
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
And was there ever a time where you're on stage and you're like, oh, man, that smells pretty good down there.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
Right. So you left for a little bit, went to Ohio, and then you came back to New York?
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
Can I just... Is this... Was that just you... Was that just you describing using Instagram?
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
John, you had what Jason, you were getting so many, what Jason likes to call, you had at that time, it seems to me, you had a sexy indifference. You didn't care. You didn't go in there. You didn't want it too bad. And then you just kept getting him.
SmartLess
"John Goodman"
And I know that that feeling, especially when you're younger, I remember thinking like, man, I'm not going to read in my first age and be like, it's pilot season, you're going to read for some sitcoms. I'm like, sitcoms? How dare you? Are you out of your mind? I'm sorry, I'm an artist. Yeah, and then all of a sudden I'm like so broken. I'm like, fuck, let me, I'll read for anything, please.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Wait, who would you say is funnier in person than on stage and they're great on stage?
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Will Ferrell? Ferrell's not a stand-up. Ferrell never did stand-up, right? Conan.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
So it's kind of the only- And at this point, was he the head writer on Saturday Night Live?
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Um, no, well, we've, we had to trim it once just for continuity. So it doesn't, uh, get to, but you know, um, I, I, I get, you know, people maybe be like, um, should we, should we worry? Is there a hotline we can call into?
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
But what about if somebody wrote them for you? What about being a host of a late night show? Well, but what about like, let's say like the monologue that the Jimmys do or, you know, like, would you do that? Would you be comfortable with that?
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Now, Sean, you've done, and Will, you've done, you've guest hosted Kimmel's show. So you've done monologues up front there. Is that a comfortable thing? I like it. Yeah, I would be really interested in trying to like it.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Yeah, I don't think I could do that. Look how fucking shitty we are at it. But we get to like, it's cut three ways. You know, if it was just me interviewing somebody, I would, you'd answer a question and I'd just be nodding at you and going, huh, that's great. I would not have my next question ready.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
But, you know, I'll bet I would love to watch the talk show. And Letterman was kind of good at this too, although he was a decent fellow about it. But he'd still let you see in just a little bit that he's not feeling this guest. This guest is not hitting the ball back like they should. Like they're acting like they're doing us a favor by being on the show. I used to like that.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
I used to like to try to read him. And nine times out of ten, the guests kind of deserved it. They were kind of being jerks and he wasn't helping them and he kind of let them sink. I think you'd be good at that, Willie.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
By the way, I'm sorry. Tracy, I just... I've been gone for a month and a half. I just got home to that really sweet Wisconsin Badger golf shirt you sent. We already talked about it. No, Jason didn't. Well, but I had not opened it yet. I was still in New York. And... You know, Tracy, I don't like it.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
No, I love it. I love it. I love it. And thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That's very sweet.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Scotty, she was sitting next to Scotty. No, I know. Well, it's just about different, right? I mean, I look like somebody other than the person who's been sharing a bed with her for 25 years. So it's just, you know, she's just seeing flashing green lights all over the place.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
It is handsome. Thank you. I mean, maybe with a little trim of the beard, but the hair is... Yeah, you know who doesn't dig it? Maple, my 12-year-old. She's just... She'll barely look at me. Well, all she wants is Marty Bird back. Sure. Nice and short hair, you know, some kind of a banker look.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
So he felt bad. He probably didn't want to cast you in Friends. He was like, listen, I already fired this kid once. Give her this job.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Lisa, can you say or can you remember, do you know why you were fired from Frasier?
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
So you were like midweek, you were like through the producer run-through, through the network run-through or something, and then they made a switch?
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
I got fired and then rehired. Or the stuff that you don't get and then you end up being available for the thing that you, I mean, like, you know, that classic story of you and Rain on Arrested Development.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Well, he was always trying to get down to business. And, you know... You know, Will, I think about that every time, literally, that I turn up my sleeves. I hear you go, well, let's get down to business, sir. And, you know, you're not wrong. But you're feeling good though. You're happy to be home. I'm feeling good. I'm very happy to be home. I cannot wait to see you guys tonight.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
But you're right, Lisa. It's so – all you need is just one firing and you think maybe I just don't – because it's so thin what we do. It's not backed up by credentials and diplomas and – four years of finishing school and all of that stuff. It's just, it's so sort of subjective.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
The tough part, I think, for me, it would be like, I would say to somebody, and these are unrealistic sort of, parameters is that like, yeah, go do it if you don't need it in order to make a living. And also if you don't need to be hired to find validation about your talent, like those are two really hard things to like, my confidence was always tied to being chosen. to being employed.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
You know, like if I didn't get the job, I can't feel good about myself. Once I got the job, I was fucking perfect. I was just bulletproof. And then inevitably the job is over. And that's tantamount to being fired. And you got to go find another job. And until I got that job, I couldn't feel good about myself. And so my self-esteem was always tied to employment. Employment is not in your control. So
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
So therefore, the way you feel about yourself is not in your control. And that was a real tough thing for me. And then also, you know, if you have to, if it's your only way to make a living, it's really stressful. It is.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
your whole life since you were a kid uh sean and i came into it later from other parts of the world you grew up in los angeles uh lisa but again you came from a different world kind of a whole different world um yeah and i was being employed at a time when i didn't really care about being employed and then when it when it became important to be employed things had sort of dried out for me and so like i had i need to make money and i also needed to feel good about myself and it was just
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
It was just tough. And, you know, it forced me to do some of the work that people should do earlier, which is, you know, get a good base of self-esteem and self-worth before you enter the workforce.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
It went even better than I'd hoped. And that was because everybody came together so, so well. Crew and the cast.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Yeah, I can't wait for people to see it. Really, really proud of it. And it's called Black Rabbit. It's called Black Rabbit.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
But for some odd reason, you know, Netflix, God bless them, they're not dissimilar from other companies in that like right around when Star Wars started to get rekindled and Marvel started to go and people really tried to like steal scripts online and like get a jump on things and like release spoilers and stuff.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
What is your level of effort and interest in creating new shows, new characters? Where does all that sit with you right now? Where do most of your interests lie?
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Yeah, because as an actor, everything's done basically. And then you get cast and then you're just a few weeks away from actual production.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
shooting you like you even skip all the pre-production and all that stuff not to mention all the development and the pitching and the budgeting and all of that it's just like so many different points the process it can go wrong yeah and you can be frustrated yeah
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
As soon as you wrap this up, we'll get to the answer. Platonically incorrect.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
right regardless of their you know budget scale like this ain't Star Wars you know I mean it's a great thing but it's not Sean I'm out yeah so we had to come up with a pseudonym per Netflix and I was so like oh my god this is not a Marvel thing we don't need a pseudonym and I was so like over it when I got the email and my dog Gary was just laying on my lap and so I said let's call it Gary the dog
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Don't change that. I mean, you know, you're not hurting people's feelings, right? You've got a filter that keeps you from really chopping somebody's legs off. I mean, you know, Will's, you know, you've got to amp it up just a little bit to get to him. Yeah.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
The great. The great Lisa Kudrow. You think anybody ever calls her LK? Why not? I would call her LK.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
No, it's not fun. Yeah. It's tough. SH, not fun. JB is kind of like that shitty... Like a butler. Some kind of a... I don't know where I got that from, but maybe I should. But LK is good to say, right? Okay. Okay. You should workshop it, man. Yeah. We're doing that now, right? Listeners, go ahead and call in while we're still on.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Yeah, and the whole people I talk to, people I hear from, she's universally thought of as just like high taste, really smart comedy, which comes from being a good actor, I think. I mean, she says that she's not that interested in drama, or at least she said in the beginning she wasn't interested in drama class. I'll bet if she took a dramatic role, which she'd probably done.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
So all over the – so the show is called Gary the Dog if you're in New York. Like all the location signs and the call sheets and everything.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
No, it's – Like it's a state secret. Ted, I'm sorry. He's going to call me and yell at me perhaps. But it's just – Yeah, I can't wait for my actual dog to show up on set and everyone will see.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
So is that on purpose? You didn't want to learn. You just repeated everything.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
You guys, I mean, don't make me cry. It's been a month and a half. I know. It's pretty wild.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Did you not learn the whole language so that you could tune him out when he's really going at you with some stuff?
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Is it? It looks like it could be a nice-looking bookshelf back there. Maybe even better than Sean's.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Okay, so go ahead. I was going to just get right to, can you help my daughter get into Vassar? Because we toured that campus. Is she interested, Jason? I don't know if she is, but it looks like Hogwarts. I mean, it's so beautiful there.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
It's so, yeah, it's so beautiful. Was college a good experience for you? I loved it.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Yeah. Later today. Later today. I'm going to put my mouth on both of you right away. Hang on. Hang on. One lip for each.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
I did too. Now, were you an academic or were you just sort of doing your schoolwork so that you could party?
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
But I am... While we're pulled over here for a second, I am... I mean, is a headache... I mean, it's mostly just like a blood flow problem, correct?
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
Is that when you're around too many people? No. And is the classical headache from listening to... No, but that's a good guess. Yeah. Thank you.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
No, and that's why I look like, you know, I mean, there's long hair and long beard and it's not, yeah. Are you anxious to cut it all off or are you liking it? Yeah, and we haven't even gone into the teeth of summer yet. I'll be going through summer in New York City with this long hair.
SmartLess
"Lisa Kudrow"
So was it Groundlings? Did you want to go there as maybe a path to potentially become a cast member?
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
Yeah. And the most jobs created in history, correct? In this four-year period, yes.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
But what do you say to the people who say on the other side the same thing?
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
I'm always looking behind me when Will and I are walking, just like certain other Canadians.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
I want to know, like, do you all miss something specific about the holding office? Obviously, except for you because you're in office. But do you guys miss something?
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
We'll be right back. So then what are the issues coming up that people are focusing on that you believe are the wrong things or they may be the right things and what should they be focusing on?
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
Well, it kind of brings us back to... President, we have a listener question that he already knows about, but if you want to read it to him, it's a listener call-in question.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
Now, Will came up to get a ride with my guy that I sometimes hire for, like, when I do a Broadway show.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
And so he came, so Will, I said, do you want a ride? Because I think Jason's close, really close to the hotel. So Will came straight up. The first thing, I put my pants on and I walked out to the living room with my shirt and my pants on. I reached in my pocket and I found money. I found like 30 bucks.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
I haven't been here for six months, so I just put these pants on. And I was like, oh, I guess I wore them.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
Yeah. How about the Secret Service people on the way in and on the way out?
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
I'm like, I could see that at home for free. Hell no. Wait, so let me ask you guys, were you nervous? Because at the beginning of it, I remember saying, I thought I'd be more nervous, but because they're so relaxed and I feel like, you know, they just speak so freely. You feel like you connect with them. The nerves went away a little bit.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
But then when I wasn't talking, I was nervous. I was listening to you guys.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
And Will doesn't have socks at all on. I know, but that's the way to go. I know, I should have gone full-length.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
Yeah, because he's Joe Jobs. So you have Obama and Clinton, and then we used this one before, but it's pretty beautiful. Go ahead, Sean. And Biden. Biden.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
Um, I don't, I, I just, you know, there's like a couple of t-shirts and clearly a couple of pants and, uh. I mean, pants is a stretch. They're jeans. No, they're not. They're pants.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
Et cetera. Well, it's cool that they all are, like, together. I don't know that I've ever seen that or, like, witnessed that.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
All right, I'm over there, right? We're just going to come in and test the microphones, too. Go for it. Yeah, thank you. So headphones on, yeah? Yeah, headphones on.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
Not much of a show in that. My family vacationed there once when I was a kid, and everybody got drunk. What a surprise.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
I want to start by, you know, first of all, this is huge for us. And what a massive honor it is to be sitting with the three of you looking at us. It's so bizarre.
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
I think so. Oh, boy. So how are you guys feeling when you woke up today knowing that this was going to happen?
SmartLess
"3 Presidents"
Yeah, we're at the... So... So we're here... Don't say it! No, I'm kidding.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And cold, right? That kind of cold that gets into your bone. Even as a Canadian, I'm like, fuck, I'm freezing. Yeah.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Where was the first place you said? Arizona. California. California, then Arizona, then Colorado. Sorry, are you getting an email coming in? Are you distracted? What's going on? She said it like a second ago. Wait, so Carrie, so you grew up, and so, and I knew that about, I always think of you, I always associate you with Colorado.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And was he part of the audition, or was this just the back of a van? He just rolled the window down.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Wow, I mean, that is really, first of all, that gives a lot of hope, I think, to people who are like, oh, should I bother going for that thing with thousands of people? Well, you could end up being Keri Russell. I mean, you can't be Keri Russell. Nobody else can be. But, I mean, you've built an incredible life with really impressive credits. You've done amazing things.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Was that audition something you wanted to do, or did your parents tell you about it?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Still waiting to hear, yeah. waiting here um her friends her friends like years later was like she didn't even want to go i was the one that wanted it i was the one and she got it wait i want to ask you something care because it has to do with how will introduced you which is like you do when you came you just came on you weren't margo martin When you came up.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
But it is a good question because, you know, so Carrie and I did this show with the great Mitch Hurwitz years ago. Yeah. Yeah, called Running Wild, which was... And we had a lot of fun. That's how we got to know each other. And... It was crazy. We were trying to make this thing happen, and we were shooting just crazy hours out on Long Island.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And Carrie, I remember, we were legitimately, like, the first couple weeks, we were shooting, like, 16 hours a day trying to get these fucking, you know, get this thing off the ground, which... I remember Carrie like going either before work or after work to the gym and she had a little kid at home.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
She had like a three-year-old at home and doing all the thing and had all this dialogue and doing all this stuff. And I was like, it was so impressive how hard, how dedicated she was to just, like I said, like she's just a doer in this way that JB, I can see the smile on JB's face. He's just like, yeah.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
He doesn't do that either. He goes, he watches TV and he locks the door and nobody's allowed to bother him. And you're probably not grumpy, but I will say... Amanda serves his food under the door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody can talk to him. Read me things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's not interested in anything. But the question is, Carrie, so you do the Disney stuff, and then that leads to what?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
It was WB. I remember because it was their big hit show, and they were a young network, and then all of a sudden they had a hit. Like a legitimate hit that was... And that's where you met the great, our friend, the great J.J. Abrams. That's right. And that was J.J. 's show. And Matt Reeves, yeah. And you guys created, you guys made that network in a way. Yeah, kind of amazing.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
You legitimized them because it was a great show. J.J. got heralded. You got heralded. I mean, everybody kind of went like... Keri Russell. You were, you were, you exploded onto the scene. I remember, you guys remember. I remember, yeah. Every magazine.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah, that must have been, even though you'd been doing it for a while, since you were a teenager, having that kind of thing happen must have been Startling?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Sean, quick question. The blanket that's draped over the chair behind you, who did it? I did it. You did that.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
So was that, was that a conscious decision? You were like, hang on a second. I need to.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Okay. No, I didn't. You didn't get into like microplastics or anything. That's a big industry apparently. It's a growth industry. It's everywhere. Yeah, it's a growth industry. Wait, Carrie, this is kind of to Carrie and JB because I'm always interested, curious about people who start performing when they're younger and are able to sustain it.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
When you were doing Mickey Mouse Club or JB, you were on various shows when you were a kid. Were you cognizant of, and did people talk amongst you and your peers and your friends and your families like, hey, how can we make the jump to adult actors? Yeah, how conscious were you?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
How conscious were you that there's a sort of a bar there, that there's a separation between being a kid actor and then making it a life and a career? Were you aware of that?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
JB taught me a lot of... This is truly... And I've mentioned this a couple times. Early on, we were doing Arrested Development. In the first season, at one point, I got to the point, it didn't take long, where I was like, hey, what time were you rapping today? Like, you know, I got in early in the day. I'm thinking, like, what time am I out of here?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And Jason turns to me and goes, we got you for the whole day, right? LAUGHTER And it really, as funny as it was, the timing of it was perfect. His delivery was amazingly shitty, and it was perfect and hilarious, and it broke me. But also the truth of it was, yeah, man, you're here to do a thing, and you've got this... Yeah, you're doing the thing you wanted to do.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And it really, honestly, I never forgot it, and I carried it with me for the rest of my life. And to this day, my working career, which is like, I'm there to do the thing that I got to do not to fucking get out. And I feel equally pissed off when I feel like, yeah, I feel equally pissed off with people when they're like trying to get out. And I'm like, fuck you, dude. Yeah, yeah.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
After you guys got back from Istanbul, did you go through there? I keep a few things there just because I'm there so much. Do you really? No, I don't, you fucking dummy.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well, I'll get real with you. So my version... through a lot of kind of work and exploration over the last few months, this is totally honest, is I first went away to boarding school when I was 12.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I went to all boys, up in Canada, and I went to all boys boarding school. I'm not going to give them the benefit of telling you.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
North of Peterborough, Ontario. That's them to come pick you up again, right? Yeah, but south of Fenland Falls. Oh, right on. So you could just narrow it down, eh? Like right near Stoney Lake, but I'm not going to say where, eh? So there you are. So there I is, age 12. And I think that one of the things— I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And one of the things about that is when you're that young, I can't imagine my sending— Can you imagine? No, I can't.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well, my roommate, first year, when I was seventh grade and I was 12, my first roommate, he had just come from England, and he had been at boarding school since he was seven. So he'd been there for five years.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And he was very, and by the way, he was a very sort of troubled kid, and I felt badly for him. But my point was, at that age, and I don't know if it's dissimilar from... you know, being out on your own and working at that time. I learned how to cope with being, you know, with not having my mom and dad around and how to manage, certainly in a situation with other, basically other boys my age.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
You know, there's a lot going on. It's kind of very Lord of the Flies-y in a lot of ways. Not that bad, but... You know what I mean? I do, yeah. And so I think that that skill or whatever that thing that I put up, I carry over into my life. Yeah. I think that's what it is. I do. I've sort of been spending a lot of time breaking that down this summer, which has been interesting.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well, whatever it is, I like it. I like it too. I stayed vague enough that I didn't start crying. That's after the show. So, Carrie, so you do all that, and you think you're going to quit, and you think you're going to do it, and then you go, because you have, not only do you carry over from, excuse the pun, from being a child actor to then having success in your 20s,
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
But then you decide that you're going to maybe shift gears or not do it anymore or whatever or go to school or try something else. And then you end up having a third act, which you're in right now really successfully, which is you start doing a bunch of films and you have two really successful television shows. It's really unusual to be able to sort of carry that on in all these ways.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And I would say that you two, I pointed to Jason and Kerry, you guys are very unique in that way, that you've managed to carry that on. Yeah. What was the thing where you went like, okay, now I'm in gear. I want to start doing more and kind of jump. What was, was there a job? Was there a particular thing that kind of fired you up? Yeah.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Not just that. It's like 1973 in your house. I have Pop-Tarts, too. We know, man.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
So when you went into it, then you were thinking you were going, hey, we're going over here. And you ended up kind of going over here. Is that what?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
But she's not available? I'm getting drunk with my friends walking in the snow. What do you want me?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I'm still hung up on that image of you and your friends drunkenly walking down 7th Avenue.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And the great Matthew Reese who we've had on the program who is just an absolute delight. Yeah, love. Love that guy. He is. I love Matthew. So cool. I just, I always just, I just love seeing his face. I love hanging out with him. I had a nice lunch with him about a year ago. Oh, you did?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah. And that was a lot of fun. And so you meet Matthew and you guys are on the show together. And then, of course, it makes sense. And you guys, it makes sense to me, by the way.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
You know what? Sean, we do have a guest. I do want to say this. Sean, you were the first person, and now I do it. This is years ago, and he was wearing slippers. And I go, hey, man, are you wearing slippers at dinner? No way. And he wore them out. And I kind of went like, I guess it's okay to wear slippers out. I've never done it.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Isn't that so crazy? Well, so Sean, don't feel so bad that she didn't remember seeing you in the garden of the acting teacher. She didn't remember meeting her husband. Yeah, that's fine. I get it. I get it. I get it.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
You had the kickball party. And you didn't clock. Do you do a lot of other hipster stuff at parties, like playing kickball that are like ironic games?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I also think that, Carrie, and this is a compliment to you, Carrie, which is that you probably don't remember because you're such an authentic person. And I don't think that, like... I think you'd remember somebody if you actually had a real conversation, you really connected in that way. You're not distracted by shiny moving objects at all. You're really a real person. Go ahead, Sean.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
shiny pretty things are nice too right but Mission Impossible incredible I'm a big popcorn movie guy did the mission sorry did any of those awesome death did the mission end up being possible because they didn't do it right so I think well you never knew what the rabbit's foot was you never knew what the rabbit's foot was no but I kind of want to like I want to be like well turned out it was it's kind of like never ending story did the movie end it sure did it sure did don't hold your arms yeah so I mean class action lawsuit much I mean
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
The studio was like, yeah, we got Keri Russell. We're not going to not reveal her. Yeah, yeah.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
It was so fucking cool. Just knowing, Sean, that she was from Endalore, I mean, that must have been for you, right? Knowing how many moons it was away. It was incredible. From Tatooine, you must have been just freaking out. I mean, as an adult, paying attention to a kid's story must have been so cool for you. I love this. I love this.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well, JB, we live in an era now, though, where everybody, you know, they call it athleisure to try to dress it up. So, and it's a huge, obviously, it's a huge industry, athleisure. It's a huge quarter of the year.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Margot's one of those people, she's so, um, years ago, uh, she wanted, Krasinski was doing a movie and he wanted her for this before, like, uh, the, the, the Don't Talk movies or whatever, or Quiet. Quiet Place. Quiet Time. Quiet Place.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I like Don't Talk. Look Who's Talking. Time Out. Look Who's Talking 2. In Place. And he said, and so I said to Margo, I said, hey, John Krasinski wants to get in touch with you. Is that okay? And so she talked to myself. Then she called me and she goes, I'm going to do this fucking guy. I'm going to do his movie.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
It better work out because you better not have fucking put me on with this fucking guy. She literally like... Kind of, like, pseudo-threatened me. And, like, I was like, I just put you in touch with him. It's not my fault. You didn't have to do it. I'm doing it because of you.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah, so when you see people out during the day and you're at the fucking Beverly Center and they're wearing stretchy pants and a stretch up and you're like, are we in a workout class together? and they're like, no, I just walk around the world like this. Right. But it's so comfortable. No, I know it's comfortable, man, but so are my fucking pajamas. But, like, what am I doing?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
One of the hardest laughs I've ever had in my life was doing that series, The Millers, with Margot, and we did this episode. It was this thing where Beau Bridges was doing this, saying this thing, and Margot and I started laughing, and she got me laughing. I couldn't... It's the first time in my life I was like, I don't think I'm going to recover. I don't think we're going to get it.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I don't think I can do this. I think it's a wrap. I have to go. And I couldn't look at her. She had me laughing so hard. She's a delight.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And you don't even have a fireplace. Yeah. No, sorry. Yeah. That's great. That's fun. What a fun day. So the rest of the day is going to be kind of cozy.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Oh, yeah, we were shooting in Brooklyn, and you were coming home, and you were drunk.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Oh, boy. Dude, I was shooting, and there was a whole, like, the crew were doing, and she— What were you shooting? One of those Ninja Turtle movies.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I know him. And we were shooting right on the river overlooking the city. And here comes Carrie. And of course, nobody stops her. Nobody on the crew stops her because they're like, oh, it's Carrie Russell. And she just walks through, basically walks through our set. It's like, what's going on?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I know. But I was going to say, I'm coming in a couple weeks. Let's have dinner and or lunch, you, me, and Matthew.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Okay. Well, Carrie, you just brightened up our day. It's so great seeing you. It's always a delight.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Or naked. You're not allowed to walk around naked. Yeah, we're not at your house, man.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Let's do it. Say hi to Matthew for us, please. Yeah, please say hi to Matthew. And I'm going to reach out. I'm going to reach out to you in the next couple weeks.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
How cool is she? She's just a Sunday afternoon. She's just drinking a beer and eating some leftover Indian food because she's a little hungover.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
She's so fun. When we did Running Wild together, she would be—we had so much fun. She's the kind of person doing her off-camera would be throwing shit at me. Like a super easy, fun hang. Really, really fun. Really prepared. Really in it. Really just disciplined and professional, but cool and real. You could laugh with her, and then you could tell her—
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
You know, she and I both, there were times where we were both going through stuff in our personal lives, and she was such a good friend to me, and we would talk about stuff, and it really, just awesome.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And how did he say that he pronounced it? How did he pronounce it? Sean, I'm glad you brought this up. How did he say that he pronounced it?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
SmartLess is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Rob Armjarff, Bennett Barbico, and Michael Granteri.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I just think that the whole... I think that there's an entire segment of our population that has hit fuck it. It's not even fuck it that it's appropriate to like... By the way, you know, I wear shorts out sometimes and a t-shirt, but I'm not like...
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Oh, that's it? Can you believe it? And then it's all coming on now. Is it beard and hair at the same time?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
She's in a very good mood. You know what? Let's get to her. She's so much fun because I want to hear what she has to say about your face and your beard coming off and stuff. I'm really excited because I love having a good friend on here, especially like an old friend, somebody who likes to laugh and have a good time.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Do we all know her? Do we all know her? I don't know how well you two guys know her. She and I have been friends for a number of years, and I'll tell you why because you'll guess once I say why. But she is, and I don't like it. You know, there's this thing now where people say in the world all the time, oh my God, you're my favorite human. That expression drives me crazy. Yeah, that's funny.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
People use that. You're my favorite human. Just say person. You're one of my favorite people. You don't need to say human. But anyway, she is one of my favorite humans. So I'm going to use it. I'm breaking my own rule because I'm a hypocrite through and through. And she's just such a wonderful person. She's so fun to laugh with and talk to. We'll see. Super smart, super cool.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
But then when you look at... So I want to say that I love her as a person, and I also love and respect her as an artist, as a performer. She's so amazing. She's been nominated for umpteen Emmy Awards, and she's won Golden Globes and Critics' Choice Awards for lots of different stuff. You might remember her from... You know, from the Mickey Mouse Club.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
You might know her from Honey, I Blew Up the Kid. She was nominated for a Young Artist Award for that. She's gonna kill me. You might remember her from a lot of different things. You might remember from her two episodes of Roar that she did with Heath Ledger back in the day. But you're definitely going to remember her. Hand on buzzer.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
You're definitely going to remember her from her show, which is going to a second season soon, The Diplomat. You also know her from The Americans. You know her from Felicity.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
But, and I didn't even want to mention, and I couldn't mention Matthew because if I said, once I say Matthew, then the jig is up. So I had to like work backwards and I know you're going to kill me. You're not going to kill me for the Mickey Mouse Club.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Let me tell you something about Carrie. And Jason, you're going to appreciate this. And Shauna goes to your question, which is she's so disciplined. It's crazy. She can just like kind of do anything. She's like, what's the task? Okay, so I'll do this. So I'll get up early and I'll do the thing. Like she just does stuff.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Sean, you don't remember her name either? I don't. Sean, do you wish some of those classes had stuck? Like, do you wish some of the... I fucking wish some of those classes had stuck. That would have been so fun if some of that had worked. For you, I mean.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Carrie, do you remember what you were doing it for? Were you up for auditioning?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
You're sitting in a chair. Scotty brings a couple Pop-Tarts. He puts them in front of you. He says, John, I want to talk to you about something.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
He lives in Zabar's. If you take a left at the Plain Bagels, he's... You're uptown. But if you lived in London, I don't know if you could because, first of all, Matthew, as a Welshman, I mean, he'd get in too many fights.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
He's at the pub. I know Matthew, he's at the pub, and then all of a sudden, before it's all over, he's in a fight with a bunch of Englishmen, right?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Sorry. This is a fun game. This is a fun game. This is a fun game. But wait, wait. By the way, Jason and Sean, have you guys spent any time up near Hampstead Heath? No. I love London, but not... It would blow your mind. It would shift everything you think about living in London. What's it called? Hampstead. Because it's like... It's like a massive, I want to say park.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
It's kind of doing it a disservice by calling it a park. But in effect, it is that. It's super green. And there's got a bunch of little lakes in it and stuff where you can swim. It's wild.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
All right, back to the show. What year did you come to the U.S.? I think this was 2015.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
I have a thousand questions about the chocolate factory. Oh, my God. Last night, I made an ice cream sundae, and I didn't have any whipped cream, so I made whipped cream. Oh, great. Oh, my God.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
Yeah, yeah. On the beginning of Will & Grace, we used to get death threats all the time. Ah, there you see. In 1998.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
We do. We just have fun. No, that was because... Wait, what was the question?
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
Oh, no, yeah, they were written on... Yeah, people took the time to sit down. There's one... This wasn't a death threat, but one of the greatest letters we ever got was this woman wrote in to Will and Grace. Took the time, got a pen, paper, wrote it, got a stamp, mailed it. Like, remember, this was before the internet and everything.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
There's a lot of effort to really share with somebody how much you hate them. But this one woman wrote in and she said, you know, we're all going to hell. You should be ashamed for putting this on television. You are all horrible people, but I love the show. I just don't know what, I just don't like what it's about.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
It's also wild that people, instead of just not watching you or listening to this or watching that or whatever, they take the time to watch it and then comment on it. Just turn the channel.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
It's a lot of the media. It's a lot of the media, how they frame everything.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
Also, I think language is important too. When, you know, whatever president, Republican or Democrat says, who's ever in office, they say, well, the Democrats thought blah, blah, blah, or the Republicans thought blah, blah, blah. And it's like, you have to say the Republicans in Congress feel this way or the Democrats in Congress. Because what happens is it generalizes everybody.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
Well, I'm a Democrat. Well, I'm a Republican. You know, now you're telling me that we all think that way? No, it's just the lawmakers think that way.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
Noah, so what about hosting? Like, do you still want to keep hosting? Is it something like, you're like, I did it, I'm moving on to something else? On Airbnb?
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
Or, like, would you, like, do you have aspirations to host the Oscars, the Emmy, like, award shows or anything like that?
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
By the way, I apologize. Of course I've watched it on the Grammys. I completely forgot. No, no, no. You're fantastic. You know what?
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
What does that mean? I do that too sometimes. I'll do it to Scotty. I'm like, I was at this movie. He's like, I was with you.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
Rockwell did... Do you like getting gussied up like that, Trev, and going out to those kind of events?
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
Like, I didn't know anything about him. I just thought I was a fan. Apologize. Yeah, I apologize to him.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
Cool shit. Yeah, I like talking to people. I learn so much just from a quick hang like that. I've also been thinking about that city he performed at recently. Do you guys remember the name of that city? Oh, here comes a buy.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
What do you want to say more? I love him. He's super smart. I want him to come back so I can learn more. He's excited about his buy. Let him get to it.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
I mean, isn't Dubai like that super rich, like, aren't they incredibly, isn't everybody incredibly wealthy?
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
I know Dubai. Sure. What kind of jokes do you tell about, isn't like every single human being there super wealthy?
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
Because I just didn't want to, because I didn't want to seem like... I want to know, you know, when you first came on the scene... Why is the sky blue?
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
Was that not it? Yeah, that's not it. That's because it's a reflection of the ocean. So, Trevor, when you first came on The Daily Show, that was my first discovery of you. I was like, oh, what a glorious, wonderful discovery of this man. Oh, thank you. But before that, bad on me, I didn't quite know where you came from.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
Because it's such a massive platform. We feel badly that we didn't follow your career before you got the big thing.
SmartLess
"Trevor Noah"
So, good morning. Good morning, Jason. First things first. Please, you know I'm obsessed with medical stories. Please tell me what happened to you three, four days ago. Oh.
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
No, really quick. I was just going to say at my wedding to Scotty, my husband, there was like 10 people at our wedding. We were going to do like a thousand. And my opening in my wedding vows, I said, I feel incredibly comfortable in front of thousands of people or one person. But this is right in the middle of that. And that's where I feel the worst.
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
But when you're as prepared as you are, like you just described, that eliminates fear. That's true.
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
He used to run MTV. Tom Freston, yeah, he started MTV. Oh, yes, I totally know him. He's awesome.
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
Got it. Got it. I would take photos of it. And then I'd hear a knock on my door. Sorry, my hearing is so bad.
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
But to Jason's point, it's like you don't get sucked into that. Is that a conscious decision? Do you say no to a lot of things because you like to stay private? Do you say no because you don't want to deal with it? I mean... Well, it's just not you.
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
I'm going to say, what's the record? Because I saw like something on 60 Minutes.
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
But do you think you do these climbings, these divings, like all these things because they take the place, it's a rush that takes the place of a drug?
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
But wait, Jared, I have two questions really fast. One is about Tron because I'm a huge fan of the franchise.
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
Well, I have this friend who tans his taint. Yeah, and that's like a thing. Is it really? So you tan completely naked.
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
But I think it's a great idea. And correct me if I'm wrong, isn't it where the Tron world gets transferred into the real world?
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
And then tell me, because I love... Because I do a lot of theater, I love horror stories about live shows, and I know you do a lot of live shows. Was there any kind of crazy fan interaction? Somebody rushed the stage?
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
Jared, you've done so many things. Is there something you look at other people doing that you won't do? That you're like, oh, I dive, I climb, I do movies, I play in front of millions of people?
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
Fucking watching your face is embarrassing. I was going to look at what he won the Oscar for because I know he won an Oscar for him. What was the name of the movie? What was it called? You tell us. It was Dallas Madness. Bye.
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
Jared, before we jump into how brilliant you are in your music and your acting, you're so good looking. What do you do for your skin? Good Lord. And this is for Jared or this is for everybody?
SmartLess
"Jared Leto"
Is there any time that you actually got really close to that moment of death?
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Wait, Jeremy, how did you become Jeremy Renner, the guy we know today? Going back to the first thing we talked about today, when I was like, oh, my God, I watched you, and you coming up, and you had all this kind of chutzpah to just want to be great and not worry about anything else but the art of it. Where did that come from? Were you a kid that was inspired by something?
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Yeah, and I'd like to know just personally to add to that is like what do you – it's a common question, I'm sure, but what do you see differently now that you're on the other side of it?
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Yeah, I think that because you've given so many people so much pleasure through your art and through what you do, that that applause is thank you for that, and we're so glad that the guy that we love is doing great. It's really cool.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Right. And on Instagram, when I saw you post that video of you running, like, It was like one day you were, the accident happened and it seemed like a week later, but I'm sure it was six months or a year later, you're jogging uphill this steep like driveway. I was like, oh my God, I can't even do that. And I didn't get hit by a snowmobile.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Wow. Now, isn't it true that like, well, you were telling me or something about like you can, science has discovered a way to create that with certain, drugs or circumstances where you can, that same, do you know what I'm talking about? Like that same light.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
I knew a guy named, I knew a guy named Earthquake that would sell me J-Rock. And we will be right back. And back to the show.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Right. And unlike ours, Pretty Sure I Can Fly is educational and inspiring. Yeah.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Anyway, Pretty Sure I Can Fly by Smartless Media is out now with Johnny Knoxville and Elna Baker. So punch it into your nearest podcast playing machine and enjoy.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
But Jerry, you know what? You know, the whole thing, such an inspiration to never give up, to keep going, to take the worst things in life that come after you and you come out on top. All of it. I mean, it really, I saw, I'm saying, I saw that video. I was like, God, he can come through that. I got to get off my ass and just take better self of my vessel.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Sometimes I'll just show up to your house and give you the finger, like when you answer the door.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
And now does that translate into like how you approach, sorry to get back to this stuff, but how you approach work now? Or is it still the same?
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Yeah, and it seems like you really light up when you talk about this, which again, like you said, is part of the gift of that happening.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Yeah, man. Yeah, and Jeremy, I really mean it. It sounds cheesy to say it, but thanks for the lessons today, and I mean that. I'm like, wow.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
I mean, all the stuff that you're talking about, I'm now going to be, like you said, I'm going to be thinking about it for the rest of my life because people say the same things in different ways, but they don't land all the time, and a lot of the stuff you said today really landed.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
It's fucking awesome. And before you go, please do a sequel to Arrival, please. It's called Departure.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Oh, man. Well, I just want to say about Jerry, he was so great. He's a perfect example of following your heart and good things happen, period. You know? Just like, I love that. He's such a good guy. Yeah, he really is.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Yeah, Jared, first of all. Welcome. Yeah, welcome. You look great. Look at the guns already. The guns are ready. I mean, crazy. Yeah. You're looking great. I follow you on Instagram as well, and I love all your positivity. Wait, what? Really? Yeah. I love all the positive comments.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
You're always so warm and thankful and grateful to your fans and everybody with all the support, with all the tragedy that you've had. And you're doing so great. It's so good to see you.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Yeah, way to go. June 2nd. Back on June 2nd, the show came out. Season three. The first time I ever saw you, I just moved to Los Angeles. And I start, I don't know if you like, we can cut this if you don't want to talk about it. But I watched this reality show called The It Factor. And it was like one of the first reality shows ever.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
And you were one of the actors they followed around to auditions and see about your career. And I was, I loved the series. And I had another friend in it as well. And you, I remember you getting the, and you had to pick between the two or one of the two. And I was like, oh my God, this guy's going to be so huge. And we're watching it in real time, you going on auditions and really going.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Yeah, and that we watched it with, like we were along for the ride with you. It was really cool. I don't know that anybody would do that today. Do you think anybody, that show would work? I don't know.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
And then like months later, it was like, Jeremy Renner, you were just a huge star and have remained since. So it was really exciting.
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
Were you always so discerning from an early age in your career to be able to pick what gave you the strength to say no to certain things and not freak out about your paycheck and your rent?
SmartLess
"Jeremy Renner"
You know what I started eating for breakfast? Just almonds. That's it. Just almonds? Yeah, just almonds. That's it. Literally. Yep.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
Just to be clear. Just to be clear. Not related to Ron. Yeah. I'm a stand-up comedian from England. And I was... Thank you. Thank you. I was given the opportunity to do this podcast about football. And basically, it's going to be like a late night sort of show about soccer, football, whatever you want to call it. We're going to talk about the Champions League.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
We're going to be interviewing ex-pros, current pros, celebrities of the life, football. It's everything you can imagine. Do you have a band? I don't have a band, no.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
Imagine that. If that's the first complaint of the show, it's good. There's a lot of fun to chat about football. But where's the brand?
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
But anyway, that's… I'll call it soccer for you people. I don't mind. It's just at home, I can't. If I say football, it's, you know… But this podcast can be listened to all over the world, though, right?
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
Well, exactly. But it was whatever we want to call it. I can't call it soccer. It would be like calling my mum, mummy. It gives me the ick.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
it's like not only do I love football but it's such an innately funny sport like the supporters are hilarious I don't know if you too if you've never been to a live football game in England if you go a long time ago just being oh it's the best I like the singing it's incredible how do you learn is there a website you can go to to learn the chants before you get to a game
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
That's such a good point because they must meet up in a pub and harmonize. So there must be like football hooligans who are sort of sat there in a council flat going, look to me for the changes. Here we go. You're going home in a fucking ambulance. Come on.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
Yeah, because you're like, what are they singing? What I love most about it is it clearly is on a website. But there's the fact that Will Arnett has clearly been in his shower. Practicing it. Rehearsing. Yeah, of course you have. Who gets to decide what songs are going to be sung on what week? Like, do they get changed? Because they're often really funny.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
I remember there's a brilliant story of the Rangers goalkeeper, Andy Gorham, who basically came out and said he was a schizophrenic. And his own crowd that week started chanting, there's only two Andy Gorhams, two Andy Gorhams. Oh my gosh. So that's what I mean. With football, there's sort of like this galaxy around it that is sort of just naturally piss-taking.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
Like some of the best moments at a football game happen with the crowd. Like footballers get abuse. And I'm a stand-up comedian. The heckles you get are nothing compared to footballers. I remember seeing, I went to a Bath City game. I don't know if I can, this is, there was maybe about 500 people there. It was Boxing Day.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
And it was a pre-match warm-up and the goalkeeper was quite a heavy set lad and he was just getting one of the balls out of the net. And he looked at this kid who must have been about 11 and he said, did you have a good Christmas? And this little kid went, looks like you did, you fat cunt. And... There is no world in which that's allowed.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
Like, this poor guy just had to take it from an 11-year-old kid. And it's that just viciousness.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
It was so fascinating. And if you've never been to a football game... I remember taking my wife to watch Liverpool Paris Saint-Germain and she was just fascinated. All the sort of French football fans took their tops off and they were kind of swinging them around. And it's like this weird church that just goes crazy, Anfield, on a European night.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
Well, he's an incredible man as well. He's incredible. To get serious, the Hillsborough disaster, where a lot of Liverpool supporters died, he went to every single funeral when he was the manager. Yeah, every single one. And so the club is... You know, it's in his bones. So I think that song, you know, really takes him to a special place.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
I remember doing that years ago. I had loads of kind of posters of various stand-up shows that I'd done. And I kind of thought, what would be a nice thing to have them? And then I put them up in this room in my house. And then as soon as I put it up, I just realized it was such a mistake. Because it just looks so weird and arrogant.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
I don't know if you've ever seen that MTV Cribs episode of Mariah Carey, where she goes to this crowded room. Of course I have. And she reads all the notes from her fans. It was just like, oh, what have I become, man?
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
Yeah, he's a CBS commentator. He's a funny guy, and he knows loads about football. Now, this would be your sidekick? He is. He's my co-host. To continue with the late night show analogy? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, he's basically, he's got all the knowledge and we're just going to kind of riff and then we'll have kind of celeb guests and it's going to basically be, it's the dream job for me.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
We have our first booking. Have you ever played at Anfield? That would be my first question.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
And I had— Was that at the changing room, or did you just— That was at the hotel.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right after the match. That must have felt so awkward. It was very awkward. What do you do? Because basically, they're all having a shower, and, you know— You're just waiting with a stack of towels. Does anyone want a Lucasade? Or a Gatorade? Or a Power Bar?
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
Oh, that's what you should have done. You should have got in the shower. You should have got in the shower with them.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
That's right. It's going to be so fun. If you ever find yourself in England, I've got two season tickets to Liverpool. Have you? I would love to bring you along.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
No, no, I could probably get another one. But to be honest, Will will be down in the showers. Yeah, he will. Just getting them ready. Just getting the temperature ready. Anybody? Anybody want to get ready? Yeah, exactly. Just putting your elbow in. Yep, that's fine. That's going to be so good.
SmartLess
"James McAvoy"
Goalers! Thanks for it. I'm really looking forward to it. Nice to meet you. You too. Cheers. Cheers, fellas. September 19th.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
Wait, let me ask you this. What's a part that you would never, never get asked to play or would want to ever play?
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
When you are calling a game and you do it all the time, week after week after week after week, what do you do when you're just like, I'm really not in the fucking mood to do this thing? Like, how do you... You must have, like, days when you're like, how am I going to get it up for this?
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
It's exciting. Those people are spending money. And the millions of people watching too, yeah.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
It's not the right... I can't read this. I was also thinking about, Mike, when you were saying that we've all performed and stuff. I used to watch my three older brothers. They all played football. I was surrounded by sports growing up, and I played sports too. Then I kind of... You know my story. So then... No, we don't. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. What happened? And then I didn't like sports.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
But... But now I'm really into football, and these guys know, and I do watch it every year, and I really, really am into the stories like you guys are talking about, and outlining all the people, the players, and then you get to know them, and then you get to root for them, or whatever your team is, whatever. So I get it.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
But what I really honed in on in the last couple years was the performance of the players, and I never really noticed it before. So being an actor, I noticed that like, wait a minute, these guys are really kind of playing it up for the cameras. Because there's this, like you said, a stadium of tens of thousands of people. There's millions of people watching.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
If nobody was there and nobody's watching, they probably wouldn't get as angry or push as hard or kind of yell back as hard. You know what I mean? They kind of heighten their performance a little bit. Don't you agree?
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
Yeah, I mean, Will always used to say that to me. Like, I was like, how can you watch it? You're like, watch this. He's like, Sean, watch the stories.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
It's like reality shows. It's like any type of reality competition show. You get to know the people.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
Or did you take risks by yourself? I was like, I'm fine, I'm fine. And I pulled out into traffic. I was like, oh, I don't think I'm fine.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
Right. My god kid goes there. Oh, really? No. No way. The orange men, right? What?
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
Wait, Mike, where do you mostly work out? Where do you live now and then where do you work out of mostly? Where does he work out? Come on.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
I don't understand the eye, brain, body coordination to get it right so many times.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
Yeah, go ahead, Sean. This is a standard Sean question from Mike Tirico. What's like, you know, the worst or most memorable or a most embarrassing moment happened to you live that you called or you said something that you, like, not regret, but like that, or that just was, cracked everybody up and you were like, why didn't I just say that? Sean, you got some wood there? I'm good.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
So is this the first time it's going to be back in full force with just everything and, you know, The way it's televised and the fans and everything? Correct.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
Are your kids loving what you do? Like, are they interested? Or what's your favorite thing to do as a family?
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
They're super comfortable. Really quick, I have a Crocs story. Okay. So I was doing Promises, Promises. And afterwards, I met... Thank you, thank you, thank you. And afterwards, I went out and did the meet and greet that you have to do sometimes when people want to say hi. And there's a very buttoned up...
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
family and the little boy he was like nine years old he had like a suit on with the Crocs and the girl had a little dress on and after the show you're like fired up you're doing bits you're doing bits you're trying to be funny you're trying to still entertain them and so the little girl she's like can you sign my program I was like sure what's your name she's like Sue I go what a tsunami of a performance or some stupid joke and then I looked at him and he took off his Croc and he said wait
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
Well, but I don't get to go to. I thought you said that about doing a multi-cam. I guess I want a bunch of jobs.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
You know, get him to like walk me through it and... There is something like cozy about what you're saying, Jason, I think, or Will, I can't remember.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
He took off his crock and he said, can you sign this? I go, yeah. Wait, shit.
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
They just nudge their way and they go, oh, yeah, but... Well, he covers all the sports, right?
SmartLess
"Mike Tirico"
How about Jason's busy day? He wrote that intro. Yeah. Welcome, Mike. Thank you, guys.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
Can I tell you something about You Give Love a Bad Name? I guess. My first dog was named Buzzy. And when I was potty training him, he would go outside and he would poop on the lawn. So I changed the words from what they are to, there's poop on the lawn and you're to blame, Buzzy. You give dogs a bad name.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
Well, that's so nice. It was just a play. I didn't sing, but I played. Oh, you didn't have to sing? No, I'll never do that again.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
I said to Jason when I saw him right after the show, I said, can I guess your thought bubble when I first came out? He said, yeah. And it was just, uh-oh.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
First of all, that's crazy. I wonder who sent you that. Was it Kevin Nealon? Eric, Idol, and I share an attorney, the great Tom Hoverman. Okay, great. Yeah, no, it was Kevin Nealon's wife, Susan Yagley, who's a very funny actress person. She decided to have her birthday party at a roller derby, like a roller, what is that called?
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
And what was the one thing that made you feel like you wanted to take on that challenge of expanding your creative juices from music to acting?
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
No, it's too early. He's got a latte going. Have you been eating? No, not at all. You haven't eaten anything yet? And so Scotty, I was really nervous. No, I haven't eaten anything. So Scotty, I was really nervous. Scotty's frying up some donut holes. But they did have like pizza and cake and I had all that. And popcorn.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
I mean... Hey, did you... Forgive me. Did you see the We Are The World documentary?
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
Yeah. Yes. Wasn't that... Yeah. Incredible. I want to see that. All those people coming together. Wow.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
But go back to the performing like in big arenas and shows and stuff and fans and dealing with fans and stuff like that. Is there any kind of was there any kind of moment? Have you ever had like any kind of crazy happening on stage with a fan that was just completely through the show?
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
Yes. So Scotty, so I didn't want to put him on because I'm on blood thinners. I'm almost done with my blood thinners because of my AFib, right? Hang on.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
So, John, we always talk to people who are in the music world about chicken and the egg. Do you write the lyrics? Do you write the music first? Talk about your process. What inspires you to write a certain way as opposed to other? And do you like... Your voice is... lends itself to ballads so much more than the other stuff, and it's all great, but you have such a lyric voice.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
I would have beat myself. I do it daily anyway, and I don't have anything wrong with that.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
It's hard to... Yeah, it's hard to... you know, stop that voice in your head that you're probably a perfectionist. And so anything less than, you start beating yourself up. I always beat myself up when I leave any social event at all. I'll get in the car, I'll be like, God, was that okay? I said that to that person. Personality hangover, we call it. Personality hangover, yeah.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
So anyway, so the first 30 seconds, my friend Kevin, who you both met, Kevin and Kerry. Sure. Kevin, bam, mashed his head on the fucking wood floor, wiped out immediately. And so I ran over to him. I was like, are you all right? He's like, yeah, no. I go, are you seeing stars? And he's like... No.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
I mean, when I did, not the recent Broadway show, but I did another musical once. What was it called? Promises, Promises. Oh. Anyway, thanks. And I was on prednisone for a year. Yep. Just because it's always inflamed, always inflamed. It's no life. It's no life. And it gets you puffy. And it gets you a little puffy.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
That's so cool. My my mom started a she she was one half who started a food bank for people in the Chicagoland area called Northern Illinois Food Bank. Very similar to what you're doing. And and that's kind of her legacy. And she's still remembered there. It's part of Second Harvest, which I'm sure.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
Yeah, somebody slept really well. Yeah, I did sleep well. Anyway, roller derby, but good idea for a birthday party, right? No.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
Yeah. I mean, because when I was a kid, I thought it was you guys were all related.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
No, Kevin's totally fine. Oh, good. Is he? But I walked, because I didn't want to put the skates on, so Scotty had skates on, and I walked with him around the thing while he skated. And that's so dumb. A little bit.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
It's the same with all entertainment. You know, it feels like you have to learn how to do it all.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
Yeah. But so Eric Idle was there. I never met Eric Idle from Monty Python. I was like, oh, my God. What a genius. Yeah, incredible. Really nice guy.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
But I think there's always been a flaw in that, Jay, because you shouldn't just put all the actors up for the same role in one room. It's just, you know, is there another way to do it? The whole thing is torture.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
I also made some friends during the process. So they're missing out on that.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
There you go. Hey, give me the first note. Are you by piano or guitar or anything? Give me the first note of the chorus.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
But John, you know what? Whenever your songs come on the radio in the car, I will pretend I'm you and I will scream my head off. Love that.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
John, when you're coming to town, let's hang out. I would love that. Nothing will make me happy. You're never coming back.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
I didn't even ask him about like the prep for a show with the hairspray and the hair and the outfits and the energy.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
No, super easy to hang out with. Yeah, he seems like such a good guy. Where did you meet him, Will?
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
He's a very sweet guy. Yeah, he's super cool. You know, that Slippery When Wet album was so huge. That's where that Living on a Prayer song was. But there was another song on there. Oh, my God. Here we go. And it was called, and really, it's a real song.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
Crazy JB, think it through, dude. But John, are you... But here's what blows my mind about your voice. I always comment about how, like, your pipes are just incredible. The fact that... Whoa! I mean, that's like way, way, way, way up there. And not a lot of people can do that.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
And where do you find at such a young age, because people are already trepidatious about opening their mouth and am I going to be able to sing? And you're just wailing. Like, where does that confidence come from? Like to really go for those notes at such a young age and write those songs that are massive.
SmartLess
"Jon Bon Jovi"
They're not all going to be home runs, JB. Jason, so did we miss you on Sunday because you just weren't feeling it? Or were you out of town?
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
And that authenticity and that genuine joy and happiness and privilege that you must be feeling, it comes through and it's just so damn refreshing. Was it hard for you to maintain that down to earth personality, which you clearly have?
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
When you got into politics, where most of your fellow politicians either have to be or have learned to be overly polished and slick, is it disheartening for you to be around so many colleagues that are like that? It's just, you're so refreshing.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
It seems like if those folks were slightly more sort of – curious or discerning when it comes to news, information, facts, maybe they wouldn't make that decision. And maybe they would be more prone to vote for you guys instead of him. Can you as a teacher attract that back or attribute that to something that we're not doing right in schools. Well, maybe.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
And, you know, because I just feel like it's just common sense to me, it seems, like there's a clear choice for everyone in this country if you just want to take just preserving democracy alone, who to vote for. But all these smaller issues, it does seem like pretty easy if you just look a little bit further than, you know,
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Fox News or whatever, you would see, oh, all the facts are on the side of going this direction instead of that direction. And maybe does it start at schools?
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Isn't that? Thank you. So, Will, you tried each one of those things. I did not have one. Oh, how about that? He's pretty disciplined about the no sugar right now.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
What do you think would be the best way or easiest way to penetrate that bubble that they all seem to be... firmly inside of as far as giving them the information that they need and could sway their vote. Do you literally have to go to town hall meetings in some of these deep red districts? Does it mean being on Fox News a little bit more often? Like, how do you get to them?
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Well, it was a lot of ear probing. Yeah. So all the wax is out of both ears. Oh, finally. Yeah. Okay. I was testing my connection, testing my connection. Yeah, but I feel like there's something really special coming. Well, it sounds like you guys are really cleaned up for today.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
I mean, there is a sort of a fun kind of. this team, that team sort of, I mean, just speaking to you as a coach, and I'm a big sports fan too, like there's a lot of fun being on one side versus the other. And you kind of watch the scoreboard and then like, you know, the standings throughout the year. But that people are bringing this now into politics is literally dangerous at this point.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
And so like, if they could just get a and stop being so sort of tribal and competitive and just think about this unity a little bit more.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Or that an injection of bleach is just not a real good remedy for anything that ails you. That should be pretty simple.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Hi, Tim. Hello there. Well, hang on. How do you like to be addressed? Just Tim.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Yeah, and it's the best path towards community. And we'll let you go, but I want to ask you, sort of building on that notion of community and everybody coming together, and after you guys win...
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
What do you think might possibly be a big give that you and Kamala could possibly offer to the folks who didn't vote for you guys that would get them so happy or so comfortable that they would feel good about uniting with the rest of the country, getting back to a bit more?
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Right. Right, but that notion of kind of becoming one big happy family and like not just a standard speech about, you know, I want to be president for all, but something maybe taken directly from the Republican platform or their agenda that would be felt as that give or that offer that would come across and, you know, and have the effectiveness of like an olive branch.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
All right. Well, listen, we just can't thank you enough for the trust to sit with us and your time. We're such big fans and we wish you the best of luck and safety out there on the trail. And bring us that W. We're going to do everything we can. And just couldn't be more thrilled that you'll thank all three of you.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Boy, that fella, I mean, he gives politicians a good name, in my opinion.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
How can you not like that guy? I'm sure you can disagree with some of his policies, I'm sure. But I'm so excited about the prospect of simply just having somebody represent me and the country I love. that I'm not sort of worrying about them saying something mean, nasty, offensive. I just, he's just like a guy I like to call my representative. I'm just, I would be proud of that.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Yeah, that he was there with Tim Walz. Interesting. Very interesting. But I like him a lot. Did you guys have any questions that you didn't get to that you wanted to?
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
huh it's gonna be hard to track i want to know there's a lot of awful people out there i want to know what like bad like tv shows he watches or i wanted i wanted to know like if he has like a little game on his phone that when he has a little quiet moment like like we do with like wordle or something like yeah yeah i bet he's got something fun in there really something really silly yeah
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
I know, but you've got to like... You've got to have like two minutes to like... You have to be able to... Yeah, exactly. Like even if it's just like going into the bathroom and like just sitting down, you know, like not even like taking your pants down, but just like hiding in a stall somewhere just to get some quiet. Yeah, yeah.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Well, they do actually. Oh, yes. The great Steve Kornacki will go in there and he will zoom in and it will expand and you will see sort of the micro of each of these districts and states and you will see how it is sort of, you know, split up inside there. All right, fine.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Yeah, we can't do it here from our stupid-ass podcast. You know, we need some more folks in the government. And we're on our way, hopefully.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
I think it's really good stuff. I think these Apple folks are on to something. It's great work.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Well, good right to be. It's a big, big day for us because of our listeners, because we're a place that really important folks like the Tim Walls campaign think that this might be a worthy stop. So thank you to you listeners. You guys are awesome. made this happen and we are really excited to talk to our next guest. So get ready.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
But now Tim, now you can't, well, as governor, you had security detail. Were you running with, or were you on a treadmill?
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Now, Tim, when you're running, do you have like AirPods in? Are you listening to music?
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Do you have a favorite subject that you do like to talk about that is not politics? Like, are you a sport? I know you're a sports guy, but like, do you love talking about politics?
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Guys, quite a day. Quite a day. I'm excited. I woke up really excited today. I know you woke up. I went through audio security that was really surprising.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Now, what about, are you really into the sound of a combustion engine or are you into the... Sound of an electric engine.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
I love it. Every single car brand now has a fully electric car. And I don't want to throw undue shade towards Mr. Musk, but I got to tell you, his politics is... I got rid of my Tesla. I feel like I'm driving around a Trump sticker with that car. So it's gone. And I'm now enjoying... You mean the... I call it the crypto truck. It's just... Well, here's my thing.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
If you broke down on the side of the road, are you one of those guys that can just pop the hood and look under there and kind of look around and see like, oh, there's the problem.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
That they need to... Yeah, that they don't need to vote, but they should vote. They could vote. We happen to have our own opinions that become pretty, you know, apparent and evident just because we're on the side of common sense. But just vote. A lot of people got hurt or killed or whatever trying to secure that right for all of us. Let's just go use it. We only get to do it once every, you know,
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Now, speaking of your kids, which one of them or you or your wife gets most pissed off when somebody calls you Waltz instead of Walls? Yeah. Yeah, my daughter probably. Yeah, it's a whole new wave of it now, right?
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Like, you cannot get more famous than you are now. So everyone in the South finally got it.
SmartLess
"Governor Tim Walz"
Have you allowed yourself to really imagine and start to build... like a possible wish list of things that you would like to be given the reins to when you guys win?
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
Absolutely. I love that song. Wait, but I have a question about the doc, because now I know everything about you, and I'm obsessed with you like the rest of the world. Like the rest of the world?
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
It's about football. So because in the documentary, the thing that blew my mind was when the whole country was, turned on you in that moment that, right in the moment of the documentary and the moment in your career. And I was at home not knowing anything, not involved with like the ins and outs of like the crowd and the game and everything like that. I'm going, why are they booing
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
the greatest player, like they should be supporting you. So what is the mob mentality of turning on the best player in England?
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
No, no, he can't. I mean, the 12 steps that it takes him to walk from the back to the front. By the way, Jay, I didn't know that Franny was in 9 to 5. Yes, yes. I would have completely seen that.
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
I know, but you were so young to go through that process and to learn that that's how you get out of it. Like, how do you... You're so young.
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
Right. And now did you have like, was there a moment where you thought, how am I going to chase this high of all of the success that I had? And if not, what made you get out of that feeling of like, God, I can't chase this high forever. Like, what am I going to do?
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
I heard she played Roz, right? Did she sing the theme song, like the title song?
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
It's fun to watch that. The painting behind you, you painted that or you bought that?
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
Now, David, you mentioned, like, you know, my question about the documentary, about all that drama that you encountered. Just sitting here talking to you, never having met you before, you seem like the kind of guy, and I'm guessing...
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
You strike me as someone that recognizes people or situations that could potentially be drama or controversy, like you mentioned your mate that always gets himself into trouble because of all the controversy. Do you run from that now, having been through so much drama your whole life with reporters, journalism, the field that you were in or continue to be in?
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
I'm not going to learn this slide. Journalism. Do you know what I mean? Do you recognize it now that you're older? I think he's got it. Thank you, Sean.
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
I'm just saying because you're so mellow and cool and easy. Please tell my wife that.
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
Yes, and that was one of the coolest parts of the documentary when you were like, you looked at her on screen and you're like, I'm gonna marry that girl. I mean, that's crazy. And then you met her and then you, and you married her.
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
And those, you know... Now, let me ask you this. You said businesses as well as family, which is really cool. How did you... How did you craft a business mind? Because, you know, a lot of sports figures don't have that side of their brain that gets exercised like that. Or do they want to exercise that part of the brain? But you seem to gravitate towards it. How did you do that?
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
What bands? Because I love British bands. I grew up on, Will did too, on British pop and stuff like that. Who do you listen to?
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
Off to the families. Cheers, you too. And have fun at the premiere. Thank you. Yes, sir. Thank you, I will. Take care. Bye, buddy.
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
Yeah, wow. I did not see that coming. Me neither. I was like, oh, I'm not going to know who the soccer player, I'm not going to know who this person is.
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
I know. No, here's the other thing. Every time you guys said MLS, I was like, ooh, real estate. I thought you were talking about real estate. Exactly. I got so excited about like... Was he sending a listing?
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
Wait, I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting. Don't worry. Shut up, Sean. You've done enough damage already.
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
David, thank you for joining us. It's a pleasure. Thank you for having me on. This is so exciting to me because I knew nothing about football, soccer. Watched the documentary. It's all I can stop talking about. It was incredible. I can't stop talking about it.
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a smart list. Coming right at you. Oh, that's genius.
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
But here's the thing about fashion, because to me... Oh, go ahead. Let's hear it from the expert.
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
No, but my thing is like, Scotty always, my husband Scotty, always wishes that I... Another fashion firestorm. always wishes I would dress better, right? Like, always like, he's like, are you really going to walk out of the house like looking like that? Can't you just put like some nice pants and nice shirt?
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
And I was like, you know, like the looseness of a t-shirt and the looseness of like, it's more comfortable to me. Like, yeah, that's what it is. And to me, comfort is like, I don't like dressing in a shirt and a tie because it's so restricting and the pants are tight in a tuxedo. Like, and you enjoy that? Well, if it fits right.
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
That's what I'm saying. So I got invited to an Armani one in Milan. Yeah. So I flew halfway across the world because I'd never been to a fashion show.
SmartLess
"David Beckham"
So we fly around, halfway around the world. I go sit in the front row of this Armani fashion show. It's two minutes long.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
Jason just got back from vacation. How lovely. I'm very lovely and relaxed. Will looks like he's been on vacation for six months. He's got some new lighting in the Whisper booth there. And he's got a nice tan from his Long Island condo.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
You know, really, just listening to Michael talk, it strikes me that I'll bet you Michael Keaton is an enormous influence on your style. I mean, you actually remind me of one another.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
But Michael, your ability to find material or material find you and casts and directors that find you and you find like... Your career is just like... I don't... And I don't want to embarrass you, but like Willie said, but your ability to... to jump from comedy to drama so seamlessly for so long.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
Your run, your relevancy is just, it's been going for so long and continuing on this great escalating pitch that I hope you're as proud of as you deserve to be because you're just an incredible actor that knows how to make people laugh when you're playing a part and make people cry. Like you're not a comic.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
You're not a – you know, like – so I just – can you talk a little bit about how – I won't ask you to explain how you see yourself, but how do you – what attracts you to certain stuff? What's your goal, you know?
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
But there's a lot of talented people out there that, you know, luck plays a huge part of it. Because if everybody who was talented got the jobs, there wouldn't be any left, you know? I mean, luck plays a big part of it. So we're all appreciative of that.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
But you also had this great combination between leading man and character actor. That's what I, for me, just as a consumer of you, a fan, you never really took the junk food, the celebrity stuff. You always were just playing an actor. You were either a character actor or a leading man and sort of this great ratio between both and comedy and drama.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
And then for my money, like this incredible, you know, validation in Birdman. But, you know, at a moment with where a filmmaker and an actor come together sort of in this incredible little recipe between the two that you wouldn't normally put together. And then like, I don't know, there's been a few combinations like that, that was just so exciting to see that combination.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
Well, he only goes out on Saturday nights. I was talking about you guys on my break about the fact that you guys do talk all the time and we never talk.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
And then of course the film itself and the concept of the film as well, just everything coming together and just a rocket ship. And it was so exciting for me to see just that the story in the community and then also just the film itself.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
And you hate a Zoom. No, it's not about the Zoom. No, I'm just not. Why am I not that kind of a friend that like talks every day to his best friends? I'll tell you why.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
You guys are so good about... Do you have like... I mean, I know, Will, you've got like a nightly chat with the great Josh Otlin. Yeah. And probably with Sean P. Hayes.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
But then you land it into the most. But then you go to clean and sober. Exactly, which is the most like no tricks, no makeup, no wardrobe. It's just people talking and being raw and like I'm being honest.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
Or was it the opposite? Was it, oh, this is going to be a level of exposure and responsibility now that could change things and it might not be comfortable? More of that.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
I talk to them. They never speak to me, but I'm speaking to them all the time. Yeah. Can we please just give, I think the kids usually say a shout-out to, a holla or whatever to our new host. And then they might holla back, young'un. Yeah. Of our podcast, Bad Dates, we have a new host, Joel Kim Martin. Booster. He's hilarious. Yes.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
No, I was going there. I liked that, actually. Yeah, you were thinking about the deal you'd already struck for the sequel.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
He's going to be guiding us through all the legendary and insane true bad date stories the amazing guests reveal with all of their gory details you loved in season one. Yeah, it sounds so natural when you say it like that.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
Yeah, we can relate to them. And JKB is going to, by the way, my same initials. Yeah. Fun fact. JKB, yeah. He's going to walk you through it.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
Courtney actually was just singing his praises two days ago at the same time she was singing yours.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
Yeah, you'll never do it as well. How did you fix that, Michael? How did you make a friend of that?
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
When I saw it, I went. He's just a remarkable filmmaker. I mean, the thing, he's never done anything easy. Not once. No. Edward Scissorhands, you know? Yeah. Incredible mom. His degree of difficulty that he takes on and just drills it every single time. Yeah.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
Yeah, honestly, I didn't really... But it's team sports, right? You don't really take... It's team sports. Do you take it on, you know, individually? No, right? I mean, don't you sort of... Do you get that sense when you're working on something that we're all kind of rowing in the same direction and that it's not really on you?
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
You know, listener, every once in a while, Will and Sean and I have to have an adult conversation. We have to do a little bit of a Zoom. We need to talk about scary legal things. And we just had one of those before this record. And Sean got a real head full of steam going in his legal prowess. and talking about, you know, how he looked through these documents and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
Yeah, yeah. Do you find yourself in that position as often as you want to mentally? Good question.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
Yeah, immediately we'd put you right in the stew. You'd get it as hard as we do.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
If you could see it. If you could see it, it's good. You'd say. It's really good. Close.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
great and sad and oh my god so good anyway what do you say Jay well just that he's he's reached such a an enormous height of of success and relevance yet he can still go to the market yeah and he can still get a movie financed like that's really hard I don't know if he Yeah, he could. He could go to the market for sure because he's not a celebrity.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
He's just a really, really well-respected, very famous actor that can do anything and people go to see him.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
If you're looking to get rid of any tears, I guess you just dial that up.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
Where are we finding you? Where's that pretty, pretty wall that looks like a cabin of some sort? Oh, yeah.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
He'll smile you right through the night. Jesus, fuck. He'll smile you right through the night.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
And in walks an order of, presumably from an off-camera Scotty. That's correct. Two frosted strawberry Pop-Tarts and a half a glass of milk. That's right. And he keeps talking and all his legal... He starts choking on his fucking frosted Pop-Tart offering legal advice to me and Will.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
Sean, I'm going to go ahead and let you start again. We need a little bit more enthusiasm when we're starting an episode.
SmartLess
"Michael Keaton"
Am I right? That's huge. That's the number, too. It's only about two or three or four times, but it's like, that's amazing.
SmartLess
"John Williams"
Did you guys get on early? We both watched the same TikTok video. Oh, no. I don't have the TikTok.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Hello. Hi. Hello. Welcome to SmartLess. We just want everyone to know that we got so lucky that we interviewed Kamala Harris the day before she was announced on the ticket as a vice presidential candidate with Joe Biden. So we interviewed her on Monday, the 10th. She was put on the ticket on the 11th.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Right. And I just want to go back to Will's point for a second. Will, correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the broader point, and I'd love to hear your opinion on this. You're correcting me because I'm Canadian? Yeah, well, kind of.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Would you agree that the big difference between Republicans and Democrats, sort of their ideology about government and what it should be doing, that Democrats, and this is to overly simplify everything, Democrats sort of feel that government is there to help people. The Republicans feel that government is there as potentially a tool for business.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
And simply, there's just a difference in ideology, and that's why it's hard to find a middle ground. Is that what you find mostly when you're negotiating between sides?
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Well, what's the rate? How long is the drive? Where do you guys live? Pretty close to you. You know where I live. Okay, sure. I guess. Can I have nights off?
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Okay. Let me ask you a question. What's the capital of- Judicious. Of Iran? Tehran. So, listen- What's the capital of Germany?
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
So, you know, all of these like great ideas, and I say great because I'm not smart enough to think of a more exciting term, like the whole water issue. If we are fortunate enough to hold on to the House, win the White House and take the Senate, can we unilaterally do all of these great common sense things? Can we do anything we want?
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Are you guys testing yet at the Senate? You guys don't have testing, do you?
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
But you would think that you guys being a vital and essential group of workers in this country to say the least, you would think that the House and the Senate would have – testing at least once a week, free and available to you guys. There's got to be a reason why you guys said, no, we're not going to do that.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
I want to switch gears a little bit. What is fame like for you? I would imagine that your times to the grocery store have been easier in years past. Are you still doing your own marketing?
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
You are? Oh, yeah. You're not going to 24-hour fitness to do your workouts, right?
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
But it can be, you know, everybody's got a camera on their phone. And so when you're out, do they all line up to take pictures? And how do you, do you have a method, a strategy to be polite yet keep going?
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Yeah, well, he was getting in the reflection. I was trying to really check out the paint, and I'm like, buddy, I can't. All right, here's a real hard-hitting series of questions. Okay. Candle or incense?
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Because right now, I think they both have won a series of rounds. Blink once if it's me. Clippers or Lakers?
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Golden State Warriors, exactly. Of course. Well, so A's or Giants? Giants.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Now, is this something that you kind of learned during COVID? You took some cooking classes, or is it something your whole life you loved?
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Oh, man, I wish we had cooking in my house. My mother's British, so, you know, there's not a long list of great cooks coming out of that country. So I'm still trying to get the boiling pasta stuff down. That's hard for me.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Yes. Good idea, Sean. Okay. Gentlemen, without any further ado, Senator Kamala Harris. Yes.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Well, we don't do a lot. We just sort of just go around and kind of pick things out of our kids' hair. That's all.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
We cannot thank you enough for joining us, truly. Really, really knocked us out with your yes.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Right back at you. Yeah, thank you. Go get them, Kamala. Thank you very, very, very much. I'll see you guys next time.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
The interview you're about to hear, I guess, would be the last interview she did before she was put on the ticket. Right, guys? Yeah. 24 hours before it was announced, right? Yeah. It's fresh and hot off the presses, and you will see how incredibly fun and funny she is. Here it comes. Gentlemen, good day. Good day. Today is a good day.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
I think you're right. We're so excited that you said yes. My God. So honored. There must be nothing going on for you to say yes to doing this podcast.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
By the way, this is the first interview I think you've done without snacking, and I think your outfit's a little bit better, too, and everything.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Yeah, no, I think we can do a lot better. Don't confuse can't with shouldn't. Yeah. It's a lot of daylight between you and a good choice. Okay? Hey, so how about, how great is she? I mean, she's just outstanding.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Yeah, I have. Yeah, no, that was a, I don't understand how we booked her, but she must think you guys are great, I suppose.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
So we usually don't know when we're going to air certain episodes. There are smarter people in our group that make those decisions. But obviously, we're going to air this as soon as we can. So for the listener, we are recording this on August 10th. Today is Monday. And, you know, there's this there's this thing that Trump was talking about yesterday about his executive order and stuff like that.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
And without getting into all the sort of the weeds of that, it seems to me that as brief as his executive order was, there were still some obviously some salient points in there that all of you guys need to understand, read, digest. Who does that?
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
How can you possibly read every single thing that you need to know about so that no crafty sort of like in the small print gets pushed through something that you guys might say yes to? So like is there a huge staff of readers that then break it all down for you guys? Is that – Am I close?
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
It's left to right, top to bottom, right, is the way that the reading goes?
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
So the reason that they're using the postal service is because it is not free but ostensibly cheaper than some of the private carriers, the FedExes, the UPS, the DHL.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
Are you guys a little, I'm a little nervous about, this is, I've told you guys who this guest is because I didn't want you guys to. You broke protocol. Well, I wanted us to get our nerves out of the way first because while we've had some very big guests on the show. How do I look? You look, you look ready. Okay, good. Yeah, I want to impress her. So I don't expect you guys to be fully prepared.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
You know, when he's doing stuff like this, I'm sure like everyone else sits there and thinks, A, why do we have to take it? Is there some sort of countermeasure that we can do absent waiting until November? Like can we even make it there? And, you know, the first thing that comes to mind is this 25th Amendment thing that was floated around a while ago.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
And I just wonder what else would need to be on the plate for— For whomever exercises the 25th Amendment, I believe it's cabinet. What else do they need to see? He's disassembling these federal departments. There's this outrageous economic disaster. He's committing this political suicide for himself, for his party, and obviously overseeing the death of, what, like one American a minute.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
So what else would you write in some horrible fantasy about what would need to be on the plate that would motivate a 25th Amendment? I just don't get it.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
I've got some softball questions. I've got a couple of hard hitters. We're going to figure out kind of what the vibe is. But I just, and this is a big week, a big week for her. And our country. So I'm just – I'm stunned that she said yes.
SmartLess
"Kamala Harris"
And I'm glad that she hasn't gotten a phone call yet this morning where she needs to cancel because, as we will repeat when we're talking to her, today is Monday, August 10th, and we may find out today who is on the ticket. With Joe Biden, yeah. Could be her. So –
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
I have a question about that. Early on, where did you get the balls to not give a shit about the consequences of what you were saying and what you were doing on air? Where do you get that from? Because do you think you would have that now if you start your career now with the same personality since we live in cancel culture? Go ahead. I believe I was technically insane.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
I wrote a bunch of them. Hang on. I do want to say something. I'm like Fanning. Who's the little Dakota Fanning when she was a little girl? She was really overprepared in the best way. I did Cat in the Hat with her. Go on. Well, you got something to trim already.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Top speed. Oh. You know, he came to the... The tears are still wet, huh? But I would tell you, he came to the last show of Goodnight Oscar in Chicago.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
He wrote a thousand. Come on, Sean. I literally, I have pages of them because I don't know.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
That's why I wrote all this stuff down, and my research of you, because I am a big fan, I found all these things that we actually do have in common growing up, issues with our dad. You don't like Italy, which you just went with Jimmy Kimmel. I didn't want to go either. Right. We're going to get, I want to go to Italy with you. Wait, wait, wait. Stop bullying.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
I'm not gay. We're sorry to see you leave. Leave that side. You seem very gay. But the thing that I thought was fascinating, my mom had a glass eye, your dad had a glass eye, and neither one of us was allowed to talk about it.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Wait a minute. The same thing. When my mom died, my sister passed it around and repackaged it. Each one of us, we open, oh, we got something from my sister. It's my mom's fucking eye.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
The great Beth. Beth. My beautiful Beth. Beth Stern. Where is she, honey? Where is Beth? Oh, there she is. Oh, there she is. Oh, I love you so much. Hi, Beth.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Keep going. That's a true story. He did, right? He came to the last show. I didn't even know he was there. Did he go backstage? No. No. It was wild. Go ahead. Did he have notes? Yes. Yes, he emailed them to me. That is pretty weird. Wait, did you see him? I didn't. My sister... Tracy? Yes, that's correct.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
I don't know. Are there? I don't know. Wouldn't you want to save it as a keepsake?
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
No, no, no. Beth, where is it? It's a cat toy now. She's got it in a locket around her neck. She brought it here for you guys.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
No, you're not. You brought yours on stage. My mom, so same. We weren't allowed to ask about it. Irish Catholic, same as Jewish. You just don't talk. Right. You stuff it all down. So there's our headline, Irish Catholic, same as Jewish. Absolutely. That's the title of this episode. And so my mom... There are a few differences between Irish Catholics.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
But not gays in shoes. Right. But so my mom, we weren't allowed to... So my whole life, I was like, I'd be at the store, and this checkout girl at the counter would be like staring at my mom's eye. I'm like, Mom, they're staring at your eye. just shut up, right? So then 10 years old, 20 years old, 30 years old, 35 years old. Finally, I'm like, mom, what happened to your eye?
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
And she still didn't want to talk about it. I found out after she died, she had cancer in the eye. They took it out two years old. And then as she grew older, this gets really gross and funny. As she gets older... She gets... My sister and I read the medical reports. They took skin from her vagina to reshape her eye as she grew older.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
And then my oldest brother goes, I knew when I got upset with her, I wanted to fuck her in the eye. God. Wow. It's true.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
By the way, we're all talking about being honest. That's an honest story. That's a true story. And that's us making jokes about painful things.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Wow. And, yeah, it was a big issue. My mom would sleep, you know, her eye was constantly open, so when she slept, she'd be like, You know, like this. And I would approach the bed, and I'd be like, Mom? Oh, she's sleeping. Oh, no, she's not sleeping. Oh, she's awake. Like, I didn't know whether. I'm like, can I get a glass of water? Oh, I don't know. Oh, you're sleeping. Like, it was constantly.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Just like that. It was crazy. And then we would. Where is the eye now? My sister has it in a box.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
And he just wrote back, Oscar Levant, just like I remembered him. That was it.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Yeah, sure, I could do it. She could pass it around. One really quick question.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
I've said this on the show before, but we used to take, my mom used to go bowling on Thursday nights, and we used to go upstairs, we used to invite friends over, and we'd have a chain on the door, and we'd go upstairs and get her extra eye, she had two, in the box, and we'd get her, and they'd knock on the door, knock, knock, knock, and we'd open it just as much as the chain would go, and we'd stick the eye out and go, who's there?
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Yeah, it is fun. It's fun but dangerous if you knew my dad. Tell me about Italy and Jimmy Kimmel. Did you like Italy? I know you didn't want to go.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
I went to Paris once and I was like, the Eiffel Tower. And I saw it. I'm like, got it. Ready to go home. It looks like the movies and the postcards got it. It looks the same. Yeah. We had a great time.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
And then, wait. And then, and then, check this out. Two gay guys came up to Scotty in the audience, because Scotty was there. And they go, are you Scotty?
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
They came up to Scotty and they said, they said, oh, I just want to let you know we live next door to Sean's dad and I understand they don't see eye to eye. Was that a shot at your mom?
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Right. I have an actual question for Jimmy. You know, seriously, seriously, no, to that point. No offense, but I think I'm the interviewer. You'd be great.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Why don't you get up and do a few Gilbert Gottfried impressions? Go ahead, pal. It has everything to do with what you just said, which is Johnny Carson used to have long, long, long interviews, 20 minutes, half hour. And so, Jimmy, I was thinking about you because you're one of the best at what you do. Thank you for standing.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Have you ever had discussions about what Howard is saying about instead of the six, seven minutes you do, oh, right, you don't have a microphone. Uh-oh, he's coming up to the stage. Here we go.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
No. Did you ever have the discussion about changing your format to do kind of where this feels like it's going, which is long-form interviews as opposed to six, seven minutes? You can't.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Do you want to take a temperature of the room about the name The Beatles? Do you guys know about this? Old Captain Brain. What happened, Will? Let's take an honest thing of the audience. I didn't know my whole life. I thought it was the insect, the beetles. I didn't know it was people who make beats. B-E-A-T. Clap if you were with me. Thank you.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
But, you know, anyway, I enjoy those. But I applaud you wanting to research and find other things. Not that you are older. No, this is what it is. But that you pursue things that still challenge you. Somebody your age is willing to do new things, is what you're saying.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Yeah. By the way, Jimmy, on all seriousness, you were great in Jurassic World. I thought that was great. Down again.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Well, when I was younger, I had so many, I don't know why I reacted this way, but so many adults, when they found out when I was like five, six, seven, eight years old, playing piano, practicing, they'd go, oh, you know what? I wish I would have stuck with it. Over and over and over, all these adults telling me that. So I was like, there must be something to that.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Part of that, being honest, though, I remember when you spoke about your health scare about having a little spot on your kidney. Thank God it was nothing. Right. And that was, you revealed like, that was one of the first, one of the few things that you did not share with your audience because you've always been so open and honest with your audience about everything. So what is, where is that line?
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
He was waiting for it to be his dad. I'm sorry, Sean. Wait, can I tell you something? Tell me. He sends me clips of you all the time. That's what Will told me. I'm obsessed. I think this is amazing. Sean legit doesn't know anything about this.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
All right, you can talk a little bit, but I want you to think about... I will do that under protest. We might embarrass you if you stayed and heard how much we were going to praise you.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
He is the king of all media. They had to raise the ceilings of the talk house just for him. Yeah. All right. That was surreal for me. I've never met him. I didn't ever get to talk to him. Was he what you thought he was going to be? Yeah, I was really, really nervous. I was really nervous. Was he what you thought he was going to be?
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Yes, I thought that... How was he different than you thought he was going to be? I didn't know he was going to be so relaxed and easy to talk to. And so great, right? I thought he was going to be like, so what do you guys got? Let's see what you guys got. And he wasn't like that at all. Because he's the king of all of it.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
tons tons anything you're really pissed you didn't get to let's see I mean we talked about a lot I want to talk about Italy a little bit more and like his vacation like what's his ideal vacation we'll bring Jimmy on and talk about that okay anyway so I love him though I've been a huge fan and by the way I didn't share with you guys the first time what are you looking at
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Nothing, I'm just trying to think. I feel like you're working right now. I am, I am. Can you feel it coming? Yeah, he starts to work on a vibe.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
We're ready to go. And we got jelly roll coming up, which is so exciting. Oh, yeah. Oh, so here's the bun. So the first time I was ever here in the Hamptons was only like two, three years ago. Okay. And that was the first time ever. And I stayed with Will at his house, which is not very far from here. Okay. This is going to be terrible. This is going to be horrible. Dude.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
And Will lived so close, so I was just going to ask Will, today, did you drive yourself over here or did you ride your... Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Like a splinter that doesn't leave. Well, clearly you let her go, but go ahead.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
Thank you very much for having me, guys. Huge fan. Huge fan. Incredible. So, guys, how do you introduce a man who needs no introduction because he's one of the most famous people on the planet, plus he's on the poster outside? He's the king of all media, the interviewer of all interviewers, the winner of Best Hair in America... Four years in a row. He's a great artist, a great painter.
SmartLess
"Howard Stern"
More sincere. Yeah, no, I lost my thing. And he is incredible. He's the most amazing person. And now his home for 20 years has been SiriusXM, which is now ours, which makes us roomies. It's the most incredible icon of all time, Howard Stern.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
That's how I drive around town. I only take right-hand turns. But Nate, biggest bombing story? Like, did you just like, oh my God, this is the worst, like,
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
It's nice that Sean's philosophy of life is like, don't try to be something you're not. Yeah, exactly.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
Oh, very good. It's a great evergreen. Authenticity. Hey, Jason. Yeah, hi. Why did the man fall down the well? Oh, boy. Because... He didn't see that well? That's exactly right.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
This guy. So, Nate, wait. Did you, so at home, what's it like at home? So, like, do you check out, do you run jokes by your wife? Does she okay them? Is she sick of hearing them? Like, what is that dynamic at home?
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
Brothers and sisters growing up? I have a younger brother and a younger sister. So you're the oldest of the three. I am. And do they, are they finding you funny all the time? Or like, yeah?
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
It's not funny. It was funny when I was like six years old. It's like, where do dead people go in your house? And it was the living room.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
By the way, backing way up to the beginning of this interview, what is Bargatze? What is the nationality of Bargatze? It's Italian. Oh, it is? First of all, don't spit it out like that.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
How do you even spell that? I know, I can't even begin to spell it. I knew that, but I forgot that I knew that. Italian, wow.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
Nate, what are you going to do today before the show? Tell them you're busy.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
Nate, can you do, I saw you do this one thing a long time ago. You don't have to do it, but if you're like, I got to go. But one of the funniest things I ever saw you do. Sorry, dude.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
Sorry, Sean. Show us your tits real quick. No. One of the funniest things was it was a story about meeting your wife's ex-boyfriend.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
Right, right. I think that was, yeah. It's so funny. But I just, I mean, we can all relate to meeting exes, you know, our current exes. It's never good. I don't know if you guys did, but I.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
Cobbler. Apple cobbler. Of those kinds of restaurants. Chinese chicken salad.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
What makes it a Chinese chicken salad? Is it just because of the ginger dressing?
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
Scotty worked at TGIF. Oh, I used to love that place. That's good, too. That's fun. That's an intimidating menu.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
The great Nate. The great Nate. God, is he funny. Yeah. Like old school, clean, good, hilarious, nonstop funny. God. He just seems like a real kind fella, you know?
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
I'd ask him questions. I'd ask him the same thing over and over again like I didn't understand.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
No, but like if you just went on and on about something like you just really honestly truly didn't understand, I think it pisses anybody off. I wonder. Like, what are you not getting, right?
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
Right, right, right, right, right. Exactly. Exactly. But Nate, we should go see his show when he's out. He's so funny.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
Well, Nate, I have to say this. We developed the show together years ago. What? And you were very successful then. But to see you over the years, this kind of like... And then SNL, and then like, it's so exciting to finally be like, yes, this guy has been brilliant, has always been brilliant, and now more and more people get to see it.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
We were just talking about Shawshank and I was going to say to Will, Jay before he came on, that my philosophy in life is kind of... Oh, this is good. Hang on. No, this is good. This is good. You'll like it.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
But Nate, talk to me about when you were a kid and stuff. Did you always into comedy? Did you watch SNL? What were your inspirations?
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
So the end of the movie... So the whole movie, Morgan Freeman is talking about like... You know, he goes in front of the, what is it called, the panel or whatever, the people who kind of, the board. Parole board. Yeah, and he's the parole board. And he's like, he tells them what they think they want to hear. He's like, no, I've been, you know, reformed. I'm good. I've learned my lesson.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
Yeah. Wait, so did you ever perform in the magic shows with your dad? I did some, yeah. I would help him with magic.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
And they always deny his parole. And then at the end of the movie, he finally just is like, you know what, fuck it. This is who I am. You people are crazy. I didn't learn anything, blah, blah. And then that's when he gets released. That's it. That's my philosophy for life.
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
You know what always blows my mind about stand-ups though? Like how you can just walk around the stage for two hours And always have something to talk about. Like how do you, is it like a monologue you memorize? Or like how can you just go up and speak funny for two hours straight?
SmartLess
"Nate Bargatze"
No, you know what I mean? That always blows my mind. Obviously you had material that you work on, but do you ever like... There's your answer. Go up and you're like, oh my God, I don't know what subject to talk about next. Like the flow of it. Well, I don't go up.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Right. Really? Yeah. But dad, parents, Jewish, by the way, both sides or just your father? It's a both, yeah. It's both. And grew up in the... You sound so disappointed.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
But, Larry, now that you're here on this little smart list thing, and we didn't get a chance to really go deep on the set when I was working with you on Curb, I wanted to ask you the questions first. those days that we worked together, but I was too embarrassed. Like, I know you're probably sick of talking about it, but Seinfeld... I've always wondered, how did you and Jerry even meet?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
And how did that happen? Because when you make a TV show, it's so rare that the talent and the writers or the showrunners, that everything kind of hooks up and everybody has the same sensibility. And it seems you and Jerry had the same sensibility. So did you know each other out? Or was that like a business set up meeting or something?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
I love that. And by the way, while you were on Seinfeld, you had both your daughters or just one daughter? No, both. Both, wow. And did you bring them around? Were they interested? No, they were babies. No, I know, but when they got older? No.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Wait, I want to go into Curb more because how did you come up with the... Being there, I was like, oh, this is how this works. You get a little outline for my sister Tracy who doesn't understand. It's not written like, say, Seinfeld was. It's all improvised like we were talking at the beginning of this episode. that, but how did you... The story outline. The story outline, yeah.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
So you have to hit those points. But it's so fun because you spend an hour just improvising one scene and then you cut out the fat in the editing room and you have all great stuff. It's such a great format. So who thought of that and why did you think of that? I heard once, because when you and I did The Three Stooges, you said to me, I hate memorizing lines.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
No, no, no. He wants me at a zero. I love that you're just like, then just don't listen. I get it. I was chatting with Will very briefly this morning.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Yeah. You get to say all these horrible things. By the way, how about... I wasn't even going to bring this up, but it just hit me. Marjorie Taylor Greene, first of all, she said she was watching Curb Your Enthusiasm, which is already kind of... Oh, we watched the show. And then she got upset because... She thought you painted people in her state or in the South as racist or whatever.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
I'm paraphrasing, so I don't know her words. Yeah. But weren't you kind of blown away that she even watches your show?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Right, exactly. Where you can't give people water or food or whatever when they're in line voting. So outrageous.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
The whole season is like kind of around that, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, it's great.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Oh, really? Oh, no, I've never done that. Could you imagine Larry David on the field just calling shots? Yeah. Throwing his headset? With the little headset? Yeah. Screaming into that thing? I honestly feel I could do it. You'd just be yelling, like, just throw it and then catch it. How hard is that?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Larry, you know, when we were working together, I asked you the same kind of thing Jason was asking. I'm like, why are you ending? Why are you stopping the show? And you just said, look at me. I'm 76 years old.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
And Jay, I texted you a lot last night. I was like, I think I reached my text limit with Jason. What, last night? Last night or two nights ago.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Quick. July 2nd. Do you hate, by the way, do you hate birthdays? You hate holidays?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Of course it is. All the lights are out. Nobody knocks on the door. We put a sign out that says, sorry, no candy every single year.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
I remember I've seen you at Conan's Christmas party a couple times, and it's great. Do you like going to parties? Well, that's kind of like, it's not a dinner party, but they served great food and stuff. But I imagine you don't like to sit down at dinner parties, or do you?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
No, we were texting back and forth. Oh, about Scotty? Yeah, about Scotty. That wasn't a lot. Did you hear about Scotty, Sean? No, what happened?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Good. Smart. Because you found it because they told you? They told you? No, they didn't tell me.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
We'll be right back. All right, back to the show. So I wrote a bunch of like, I want to do like a speed thing with you because I wrote, what, you hate that? You're going to introduce a new format here? I'm not going to do that. Just one word answers? You think Larry wants to do the speed?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Oh, there you go. Let's do that. How about that, Sean? Larry, I saw your show on Broadway. You didn't see mine. I loved it, though. If I had been in New York when it was on, I definitely would have got it.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Like a good friend. Yep. Now tell me, I did see that show and you were fucking great in it. That's it. So nice of you to say that. Wait, which one was this? Bring it back down. Which show? Something with fishes. It's fishes. I'm on the fish.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Fish in the Dark. Fish in the Dark. Yeah. But I thought it was great, and you told me that you didn't love the experience of eight shows a week. No. Did you not know that that's what you were getting into?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Oh, no. I did five months in New York and three months or two or three months in New York. But how many performances? He knows his number.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
You don't know. I don't know. How many shows did you do a week? Seven. Seven.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Yeah. That's better than eight. I couldn't sell the eight one. I got a moment to rest for a second. One less. Yeah. Yeah. But you had a heavy lift in that. You were driving the whole thing.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Do you have any funny stories? Didn't you get hurt once? You lose your voice ever? No, I don't have any funny stories.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
No, I wanted to tell you. So I was eating breakfast. I walked past the bathroom and this is the craziest thing. Scotty loves peanut butter.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
It's kind of fun, though, to find new things that you, to try new things that are so small that make the scene better.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
I was doing a play and this guy was carrying a briefcase in one hand. And right before we went out, we went out at the same time. He said, God, my hand hurts from carrying the briefcase the same way. I go, you should switch hands. He goes, oh. I go, but don't do it tonight. He goes, no, I'll do it. We walked out. He forgot every line. That's exactly the story. Exactly what I'm talking about.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
So I love at the beginning of this interview, you were like, I kind of regret being here. And then on my next question, I get it. And my next question was going to be, well, what else would you be doing? And apparently the answer is nothing. Yeah, reading a magazine. Is that true? He'd rather be doing nothing than talking to us. I love that.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
I have a quick, before we let you go there, I have this very quick, funny little thing that happened between me and you. I'd love to get you to your speed round, though. No, it's too late. It was going to be hysterical, but that's too bad. So listen, it's the I Love You story outside of HBO. I don't know if you remember this. I asked you to do a show a long time ago.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
that I was producing and you graciously declined because you're not afraid to say no. And then I didn't see you for like a year or something.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
And then I was at the HBO building and I was waiting for an elevator, HBO building in Santa Monica, waiting for the elevator and when the doors opened, you were there and the first thing you said before I even said hello or anything, the doors open, you just go, I'm sorry. I just don't like those kinds of shows.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
They're not for me. I'm so sorry. You're great. I just can't do it. I'm like, don't worry about it. I don't care. But I thought it was fascinating. You hung on to that for over a year. And then when we were done chatting, I said, you don't have to ever worry about anything like that, Larry. It's no big deal. And don't worry about it. And you said, okay. And I said, I love you. And then...
SmartLess
"Larry David"
You said, yeah, I don't do that. I don't do that. I'm not going to say that. And then I laughed and you walked away. And like two minutes later, we say goodbye. And way in the distance, you were getting your car and I'm still at the elevator and you go.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Real quick, go. Fucking go! Wait, let me see where they are now. I've got to find them. Here we go. Oh, it's on a computer? Did you AI this? I wrote them down last night. It was like a... What is it? This is like a Rorschach thing? No, I don't know who that is. Would you rather be subjected to someone showing you pictures of their kids for an entire afternoon or lose a foot?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
But of course I need the foot. You need the foot. Right. I couldn't play golf without my foot. No, you can't. Oh, would you rather wear only uncomfortable shoes whenever you go outside or comfortable shoes 24 hours a day and can never take them off?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Now listen, what about this one? Would you rather live without the internet or live without air conditioning and heating? Easily. That's such an easy question. What do you think? I'd rather live without the air conditioning.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
I hate the internet. What's something that you just recently realized that you were embarrassed you didn't realize earlier? What's that? It's bad. What would the world be like if it was filled with male and female copies of you? That's the last one. I think it would be a much better place. Much better. Wow. There you go. That's the only one we're keeping. Good answer.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Larry David, you're the sweetest. I had the best time with you on your show. Thank you for being on this show. It's too short. It's too short.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Well, thank you. Thank you for having me. I loved it. It was so fun. Boy, we had some good laughs.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Yeah, his deepest, darkest secret is that he's a sweetheart. I know. Such a sweetheart.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Yeah, he's, you know, like Will was saying, he's one of the greats, you know? And that show's been on for 20, what did he say, four years? 20-some years?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
But he has his legacy. He can always say he has one of the greatest shows in the history of American television. Two of the greatest shows. And he's only done two.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Let's do it. When his blood sugar is low, okay, because he's got diabetes, he'll go in the pantry and scoop out a spoonful of peanut butter. And every time any one of us goes to get peanut butter, Ricky, the dog, can smell it. And he comes over there and sits there and he drools like crazy. And there's like a puddle of his dog spit. So it's cute and disgusting all at the same time.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Guys, Jason had to scoot very quickly and apologize this profusely for not being here for this little thing that we're about to do, which we're really excited about.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
He does feel really, really bad. Yeah. But we have a couple guests with us today for a super quick plug for a new SmartList media show called Pretty Sure I Can Fly. We can't wait for the show. We're super pumped. One of the hosts is a friend of the podcast, has been on before, an actor, filmmaker, has made us laugh for literally years.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
And his partner in crime is a woman who we haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
And figuratively years. But literally years. At least me. And a woman who we haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet who will be a friend of the show after this little chat and giggle. Yeah. She's a brilliant writer and produced one of the all-time greats, This American Life. Love that show. Willie, let's say hello to Johnny Knoxville and Elna Baker. Okay, I'm going to say hello. Hello.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Well, hello. Hi. Hi, guys. This is so exciting that you're here. Tell us about the show. I can't wait. I mean, I know about it, but tell everybody else about it.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Yeah, I love that. I love the press release that says, for people who have done things that have never been done until someone did them. Yeah. That's pretty good writing, huh? Yeah, it's pretty good.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Yeah, tell me about it. Yeah, tell me about it. Catholicism, same thing. So wait, did you, do you still have family members in the church?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
And it's created a bad habit because we always cave in and give him some peanut butter. So now we have to find a way to sneak the peanut butter when the dog is sleeping in another room. So... This morning, I walked by the bathroom near the kitchen and I'm like, are you in there? He said, yeah, I'm eating peanut butter. I said, in the bathroom? He said, yeah, it's the only way to avoid the dog.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
There you go. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying being so repressed makes you want to go take these risks later on in life. Oh, totally.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Yeah, it's incredible. Johnny, have any of these stories inspired you to try something?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
I was just going to say, I'm looking for the next... You know, what kind of, what do they have on draft? I'm looking for the next Harry Potter movie. Yeah, man. You know, crazy. But yeah, that's insane. Wait, so are you guys, is it fun? Have you guys been having a good time? Like, is it like, it's got to be fascinating to learn all these stories. They sound incredible. It's so fascinating.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
So stupid. How do they qualify? Anyway, you know what? We're going to listen to the podcast. That's what we're going to find out.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
I can't wait. It's called Pretty Sure I Can Fly. It's Johnny Knoxville and Elna Baker together again. You guys make such a great pair. The show sounds so awesome. I truly can't wait to listen to it. It is available right now on whatever podcast platform you're currently listening to. Yeah.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
We're about to play a clip from Pretty Sure I Can Fly. Follow Pretty Sure I Can Fly on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Everybody in this house is now standing up and cheering on the 199. Go, Travis! Go, Travis!
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Not great, but go ahead. He's a very talented pal of mine. He's had more success than the three of us combined. Like many comedians, he's got stand-up and Saturday Night Live on his resume. But before making his mark on the comedy zeitgeist of the last half century, he got his bachelor's degree in history.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
worked as a private chauffeur with a uniform and everything, and was selling bras at wholesale. Things took a major turn for him in 1988 when he started to work on a little pilot called The Seinfeld Chronicles. It's my very hilarious friend, Larry David. Larry David. Oh, look at him. Oh, look at him. He's already bored. He's already bored. Already?
SmartLess
"Larry David"
You can listen to Pretty Sure I Can Fly early and ad-free by joining Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Right? Because of the dogs? Yeah, because of the dogs. That's what I'm saying. So somebody, yeah, you can relate.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
It was incredible. I added wiping my eyes just to make it real. Wiping your eyes. It was real Gene Hackman. Did you start with a... Yeah, a little bit.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
But that was one of the, I don't know. Curb has been one of my favorite shows forever and ever. And I loved being on it. I was honored to be asked. I was honored to do it with you and on the last season, nonetheless.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
And it was a good note. What a gut punch. But Larry, thanks for being here today. Hey, Larry.
SmartLess
"Larry David"
Welcome to our show. How do you feel? Scale of one to ten, how do you feel today about being here right now?
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
And poor Trish. Trish used to love Smartless. She'd listen to it every week.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Can I just say you're my hero? And you haven't even gotten into your shared fear of flying.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Sarah, why don't you invite... Wait a second. When's the last time you had a bunch of passengers stop by the cockpit and ask for... No, Jason, when you walk on the cockpit and you open, it's right there. Yeah, but if everybody stopped and asked to look at the iPad for the routing... I'm not asking to look at the iPad.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Do you ask for a little hint as to what chair the marshal's sitting in just for fun?
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
How about I don't like to meet the pilots because if I meet the pilots, it becomes too human to me. And I don't like to imagine the fact that a human being is even possible. You can't fly a plane, right?
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Well, super human, intelligent people up there that wouldn't even spend a minute with me. Like they're doing adult work up there.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
That's right. Yeah. And what do you think I said to that pitch as start gifts? Do you think it was a no or do you think it was a yes?
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Reboot in five hours. So, Sarah, are you also a type of gal who likes to chat with the Uber driver?
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Well, yeah, no, exactly. I mean, think about the kind of vibe you got to kick out to him.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
To get him to be quiet is more rude than him being pre-warned that this person's not up for a conversation.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Exactly. To be honest. Did that get you past your fears or did it make it worse?
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
No, mine's gotten less as I've gotten older. But the thing for me is that you can't feel them when they land on you. And so the shock of the sting is just going to come out of nowhere as opposed to, you know, if I'm in a fight with a bee and he gets better at me, then I'm not going to be, you know, I'm going to get stung.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
I don't know why she deserves what you're saying behind the scenes always.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
I love being around you guys too. You can just tell how like comfy you guys are with each other.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
One plus one making three. It's just you're both individuals, but you got the overlap. Yeah, we don't live together.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
I think that, you know, like I spent a bunch of time away as you guys do as well when you're working and it's kind of, it's nice to be able to fill your partner in on that which they have not experienced with you. It gives you something to fucking talk about.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Now, Sean, I will recommend to you something that Amanda and I do, is that we do share the same— We do share the same bed, but we have two different duvets. Therefore, when she rolls over or I roll over, there's not a duvet drag that wakes up the other person.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Do what Amanda does. You just slide your hand underneath the shoulder just a little bit, create a little bit of a wedge, and they roll over. You get that guy on his stomach, and he's not going to snore.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
You still got the receipt on that guy, right? Fuck, man. That's not really funny. That's not funny.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Yeah, what's going on with you and Ryan? What kind of stuff do you have on him and will we ever see it?
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Yeah. Are you guys locked on that? Because if so, I won't give you the notes.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
You should probably not because it's already here. I think I can safely say you've never sucked. Ever. Yeah. No. Never been bad, yeah.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Well, you're depriving yourself of incredible performances, but that's just me.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
So I'm going to figure out... Well, how are they... Are they able to manage boredom? Like, do they have coping skills for, like, riding in an elevator and not doing anything except staring at the wall or sitting at a red light and watching traffic go by? You know, like, that's something we had no choice but to get comfortable with. And it has... I'm glad I have that skill.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
That'll start your week. Happy Monday, everybody. You have great Sarah Paulson to give you a nice little jolt of love and energy. She is the best.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
She's also just like, just to be around is, as you can see, it just makes your day, makes your night. And you put her and Amanda Peete together, a couple of best friends there, you know, you're just flying for a week.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Usually when you take the initiative, you've got a head full of steam going towards the vibe, but not today.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
She's with Ryan Murphy. Well, she's on New York. She's in New York. She's also in Los Angeles often, so maybe she's bi-coastal. Oh, yeah. We've done it a few times. We've done bi-coastal quite a bit. We've done it a few times. We've done Biden. Have we done a Biden?
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
You know, I know one. Okay, go ahead. Hey, Sean. Hey. So, what's up? What's up?
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Sure you did. It would have been better if it was clean. By the way, use toilet paper.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
But this is your apartment. We're visiting you in your apartment while you're doing the play.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Gotcha. And the play, we should mention... It's at the Tabasco Theater, by the way. It's at the Spicy Tabasco Theater. That's really the Belasco. That's where Sean won his Tony. And Sarah's well on her way to hers. Tony, yes.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Yes. It's the golden touch of that theater, Sarah, I'm telling you. In her incredible play called Appropriate.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
I have a one 30, uh, pickup and a, uh, two o'clock crew call and two 30 shoot time.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
But why is it appropriate instead of appropriate? I think appropriate could work just beautifully for that play.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
Sorry, before we move you on the play, Will, are you going to find some time to come see the play?
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
And yeah, the hours of operation is two to 6 AM. So that's when we have to be there. And, um, You know, there was a time in my life when I enjoyed those hours of the day. Sure. But I don't anymore. So my first day is going to be, I'm going to try to be warm. I'm going to try to be welcoming. It's going to be rough. That's two in the morning is rough. Yeah, I don't know.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
That works for me. Sarah, how is that at the end where, you know, for Tracy in Wisconsin, it is a practice, a habit, an obligation for anyone in the audience who knows a cast member, or even if you don't know them, you just happen to be famous. Yes.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
You are obligated to go backstage and introduce yourself to the cast and visit for a bit. And if you don't, apparently that's tantamount to giving it a bad review. And so how do you like that dance there at the end where you're done with the play, you're exhausted, and now you've got to socialize?
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
What if he doesn't like the play and he comes backstage and he lets you know? He thinks he's got helpful notes for you. He says, yeah, yeah, no, I enjoyed it. However, like, has anyone come back there and popped off about how you can make it fucking better? Yeah.
SmartLess
"Sarah Paulson"
I guess I'm going to go to sleep at 6 or something, try to sleep for a little bit. Or should I just stay up? Should I just go get a big fat bag of white and stay up all night, Will?
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
Where do you get one of those? And they never make them. Sure. It's like couture.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
We don't go right up the hill. This is for another podcast, but I'm a freak about goal setting and writing them down and all that stuff. You are. For years and years and years.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
Yeah, I like to just check it off my list. I don't like to have anything in my inbox.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
But Nikki, so for like the goalless thing, the goalless thing, I... since I'm like 22, 23 years old, I've been writing down goal lists and they're stream of conscious goalists. Like I'll write down on paper, I'll go one, two, three, and I'll just number it as they come in my head. And there's the stupidest things like, I got to lose five pounds. I got to visit my mom more.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
I got to make it, you know, I got to connect with this person about this project. You can cross that one off.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
My mom passed away. So, but... My mom died like four or five years ago. It's hilarious.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
I didn't say it wasn't sad. Yeah, I know. It's very sad, but we got to laugh.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
Right. But anyway, so I would do all these things. And then at the bottom, I put lifetime goals. This is like when I was 22, 23. I'm like, I want to host Saturday Night Live. I want to be on David Letterman. I want this, blah, blah, blah. And I went to therapy like years ago and he goes, don't tell me a catastrophe happened. I go, what? He goes, they all came true.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
I go, yeah, every single thing on my list came true. And that's always, yeah, so I got real depressed because it was bad.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
And as I'm doing it, I'm still checking it off. I'm like, look at the rope. Try to yell to Scotty, but my windpipe is... With your toe on the desk.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
Since I'm 22 years old. Yeah, so anyway, and he said the most obvious thing in the world, but it isn't obvious until you hear somebody say it. He was like, well, you just got to make new ones. And I was like... Oh, yeah, I guess I just got to keep thinking.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
Yeah, no, here's a crazy story I have really fast with these guys. Let me tell it. Fuck, man. Are you going back to back? Yeah.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
So anyway, when I was a kid, I was obsessed with the show Soap. Do you remember the show Soap?
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
So in the opening credits, when they used to like rehash the whole story of the show in the opening credits over and over every week. They would say, these are the Tates and these are the Campbells. And then, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And this is soap, right? And so these are the Tates, these are the Campbells. The Tates were the rich family, the Campbells were the poor family.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
Or, you know, the lower middle class, whatever. So the Tates, they would show this establishing shot of this beautiful house, this brick house in this gorgeous neighborhood. I was like, oh my God, I grew up shit, shit poor. Nothing, you know, everybody knows my story. So then I was like, I would race to the TV every week to watch that opening. I was obsessed with this house.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
So about eight, seven, eight years later, Scotty and I had a few to drink and we're going on a rabbit hole on YouTube of old openings of like 80s, 90s sitcoms. You know, we saw Jason's, we saw like whatever, you know, like Facts of Life and whatever, the Hogan family and like Dallas and like, you know, all of them. And I was like, oh, Scotty, we have to YouTube.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
the store, the opening credits of soap. I was obsessed with this house as a kid. So we opened it and we're like, these are the Tate's and these are the Campbell's and the house right behind mine.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
I don't know, but... But Nikki, do you want to pursue... I know you've done tons of acting stuff, but is that important to you to pursue that lane as much as stand-up and everything else?
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
How did you overcome that moment? How did they prove that they loved you? Sorry, go ahead.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
Nikki, what an interesting story. How did you overcome that enormous hump from high school to college?
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
I was going to say, what was the thing that inspired you to, as you said, turn it up? What was the thing where, I know your hair was falling out because you kind of rocked bottom, but what made you...
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
Yeah, and someone who's been a fan as long as I have to see you finally get this kind of recognition. It's awesome. Yeah, for sure.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
I love what she said because she, I mean, even on here, she's just... brutally honest about everything and how she feels and her opinions. And I think that's what people are drawn to.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
It's so fucking... You've got the worst poker face. Sean, Sean. Look, I wasn't. I was just biding my time. Why would you waste it? Was that, wait, yeah. Did you just like barely float that one up there?
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
It's not up there. Okay, so it says, I just Googled it. It says it remains two separately incorporated cities.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
It says it's two separately incorporated cities, but together, along with a number of other cities and suburbs, as part of the Kansas City metropolitan area.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
And you said one of the funniest jokes about me, and I still repeat it today to friends.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
You said it was delivered perfectly. You said, Sean Hayes, oh, my gosh, Will and Grace was the best you could do. I...
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
But I fanned out on you backstage. I just think you're hysterical. Oh, I was such an... When you fanned out, that meant a lot to me. Well, thanks. But it's true, these roasts, they become a place to discover people, but I feel like you were already discovered, but for some reason this last one, everybody acts like they found you, but it's Nikki Glaser.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
No, I said to him, concept cars, they— Should we put a love seat in the toilet? No, I said concept cars are such a waste of time because they're such a tease. Like, they're these really cool cars and they never make them. It's like, why don't they just make them? Sometimes they do and they take pieces of them.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
She's been around forever, and she's been brilliant forever. So what did that feel like to be like, wait, I've been here. What are you guys all talking about?
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
I think you have, you can opt to not be a part of it. And when you opt to be a part of it. You can say no to it, sure. You know that.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
I read the Tom Brady thing, right? A little bit. I just kind of read little blurbs. Was he upset? Do you know?
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
You know, one of my favorite was, I don't know what happened to her. She was so funny. Lisa Lampanelli.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
She was one of the best. One of my favorite jokes that she said during the roast of William Shatner was she was going through his credits, you know, and she goes, remember TiVo? Before DVRs, there was TiVo. Yeah, we got it. And it made, if you liked something, it would suggest other things, you know?
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
And so she goes up there and she goes, yeah, William Shatner, I tried to TiVo TJ Hooker once and TiVo suggested I punch myself in the cunt.
SmartLess
"Nikki Glaser"
He didn't watch that, right? No, he watched it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he enjoyed it. And Betty White. Betty White was on the panel and she got told like really crass jokes. It was so funny to see Betty White tell crass jokes.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Oh, my God. And did you just tell the pub, I can't work anymore because I'm going to be doing Star Wars, see you guys later?
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Because I saw it like on Instagram or something, this rail bike that you just pedaled on the railroad tracks.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
We'll be right back. So you didn't tell your family when you first got it? Or you only told your family? Nobody else?
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Wow. And just because you didn't want what? Why didn't you tell the world, like, oh, my God, everybody, I got this fucking thing?
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
I mean, it completely changed your whole life. It's so exciting. Obviously, if you listen, and these guys are so sick of me, and you're probably so sick of talking about it, and I'm sorry, but she's a massive fan of the franchise and you.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
But wait, I'm excited for the new one. You're going to do one or three, or we don't know yet, but you're playing... I'm doing one for now. Can you tell us anything about it?
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Yeah. But tell me like, I mean, I've said this before to other people, like, like other people who've been in the franchise, but like JJ or like not JJ, but other actors have been in Star Wars is like, like Adam Driver, whoever. What is it like to be, like, if it was me, I'd wake up every day going, I can't fucking believe I'm in this movie.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Like, how do you, at such a young age, cope with, or stuff you're excited, like, you can't show.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
No, but like at such a young age, that's so funny. At such a young age where you just, I know you can't like, holy shit. And then John Williams, talk about that. Like writing, you have your own theme written by John Williams.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Just cool it. And then I was so, like, I was in awe, like, preparing for this to go through YouTube and hear your unbelievable singing voice. Like, I don't know that a lot of people know that, that you can sing so unbelievable. Like, how did you, when did you first realize that and why haven't we seen more of that?
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
I heard the house is crazy. Like there's a mall underneath the house. Like she has a shopping mall.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Yeah, tell us about the Orient Express. And Patrick Doyle is a wonderful friend of mine. He did the music for that movie. Thanks for starting the interview for that. Thanks for the heads up.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So wait, listen to this. So the first time I was ever in London, like, this is my last... Will's laughing.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
So listen. Here it is. Here's another one. So listen. Never mind. It's not going to be that great of a story. Don't key yourself up. Just say the thing. Okay. The first time I was in London, I had to go out to... God, you feel so naked without the... I'm sorry. We'll get back to your career, Daisy. We'll know what this is. Sorry. No, but take my dressing up.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
The first time I went to London, I went to this restaurant and they required a jacket for you to go sit down. Like you're talking about the Art Express. And I didn't have one on. I had like a... No kidding. I don't know what I had. Like a dress shirt.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Exactly. And so I walk in and they're like, sorry, sir, we can't serve you without a jacket. And so they said, we have a closet full of jackets for you to choose from. And I was like, wait, what? And I'm like, the table we're sitting at is three feet away from us. It's right there. Can I just walk to the table and sit down, please? Like, no, you have to pick a jacket.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
These jackets in storage for people who show up with no jacket. So I put like this oversized jacket, like from the 1980s or 90s. Completely ruining your outfit. It was a long way to go for that story. Sorry, Daisy.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
So, Murder on the Orient Express, brilliant. I love that movie. Sometimes I think about dying. I saw that fucking great American accent, great character. So into you. I can take my eyes off you every scene.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Oh yes, we love Tom. Anytime a break comes on, we always talk about American accents because we're fascinated to hear ourselves. Yeah.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Daisy, do you lean on an acting coach or any acting kind of thing, person for each role? Or you're like, you know what? I got this. I did the work. I studied. I went to school for it. I know what I'm doing.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
I'll get it from him. Or Daisy, how about this? Who asked who out first and what were the circumstances? Thank you, Sean.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
We'll be right back. So I want to talk a little bit about Young Woman in the Sea, which I tried to watch and I couldn't. But tell me about the prep for that. And then I want to talk about like projects, like how do you choose what's important to you?
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
I can't do it. I run out of breath so quickly, even from one lap in the pool.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Yeah, yeah. I mean, were there moments where you're like, and I'm not kidding, were you like, how do I get out of this? Or were you never...
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
And just the trajectory of your career is so impressive from that pub to getting Star Wars and now just working constantly with such impressive work and being around so many people that know what they're doing and top of their game.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Why do we have to be working when we're vacationing? We do a little bit of both. But my thing, but Will, my thing is you get the beach here on the West Coast, wouldn't you want to go somewhere different? Without the 17-hour flight. What beach? What beach? What do you mean? Have you looked at a map? It's all, we're on the edge of the water.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Is there, of those people that you worked with so far, is there some kind of advice somebody gave you at one point where just like, wow, and it really stuck with you or something that kind of moved you in a way that you're like, I got to hang on to that?
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Yeah, so, quote, your career is interesting wasn't great advice. It was just a comment.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
As Jason Bateman said to me decades ago, none of this is up to you. And that stuck with me forever. You only have one part in it all. Yeah. Daisy Ridley, what is Daisy Ridley doing in between gigs? Because she works so much. What do you do with your time off?
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Kids, a bigger family in the future for you? Well, maybe some kids. She's a really good person.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Well, Daisy, it's now much later in the UK. You've been such a joy to be here.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
When you were on Endalore... Okay, so, no, I have a question about the test process, but you kind of talked about that.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
I have a question about oh here's one it has a massive fan base Star Wars obviously I'm one of them with but how does it feel to be part of such a beloved franchise and like do you feel a responsibility towards you know the fans like did you feel the weight of that and were you a fan before?
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Grogu, yeah. It's actually Grogu. I was put on the spot. I was so nervous. I know you are, Angel. Careful of your heart, okay? Can I ask you one more question? Where are the paddles? Can I ask you one more question about it? Please. We're so sorry, Daisy. After it came out, were you like, And the rush of it. Like, what was the downside after it?
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Because the announcement of it, the announcement of the cast, and then the shooting of it, and then it came out, and all of it was so massive. And then you rapped. And then what is that moment like?
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
But was there a sense of, like, what the hell am I going to do next? Like, what am I going to do now?
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
must have just been like wow like the sets and the costumes like it's just amazing to me and then last one um can you give me anything at all that Kathy Kennedy told you about the movie I know you haven't read the script yet but any kind of nugget anything anything about Ray in the next movie
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
No, I get it. Because it's like, wait, you're Palpatine's granddaughter. Crazy moment.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Wait, no, but you can't say anything about Ray. Don't get her fired. But there's got to be something that doesn't give anything away. Look, I won't press.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
I feel like she might. I think I have part of it on. I have underoos on. Star Wars underoos. Daisy, you're such a pleasure. Thank you for being here.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Absolutely love you and love everything about you. Thanks, guys. Thanks, Daisy. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Oh, she's the sweetest. And I love how cute she was when we asked her about how they met and how her husband met.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
We do have to go somewhere. But guys, listen. I don't want to keep our fancy guest waiting. So rude to talk about in front of the guests. But you guys, she's sitting in there waiting from overseas. She's in the UK right now. What? Yes. But you'd never know with her flawless American accent that she does. She can act. She can sing. Boy, can she sing. Wow.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
We did pry, we did pry for sure. But yeah, it must be, I love watching what she's doing after, you know, ASW after Star Wars to create a career for herself. It doesn't need an acronym at all.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
But all of these movies that she's done is really kind of stretching her skills and it's awesome to see because she knocks it out of the park every time.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Isn't it? Oh, by the way, you guys, Young Woman and the Sea is in theaters right now.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
About a guy I dated named Dick. All right, so, no, but Open Water, the movie, did you ever see the movie Open Water?
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
It's based on a true story about the scuba divers, and the scuba divers all go down, and they all come back up, and the boat counters like, okay, this couple's back, this couple's back, and the boat takes off, and they leave a couple in the ocean underneath snorkeling still or whatever, and they come up, and they fucking, they're in the middle of open water. Rude. It's just rude.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
And what do they do? What happens, Sean? They get, of course, they meet their demise by sharks and everything.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
They had an iPhone. They had an iPhone. Nice try. Nice try. But thank God Daisy Ridley is all good from the Black Sea and nothing happened to her. Yeah. Right. But anyway.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Yeah. And in her most recent film, she can even swim the English channel, which I tried to watch last night, but the links they send you, I'm forgetting it. This effervescent young lady's middle name is Jazz. Remember we were just talking about our middle names? Annette Bening or Jodie Foster? Which one? Nope, it's not either.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
And she's been a hot ticket in the film industry for almost a decade, starting when she joined one of the biggest movie franchises of all time. Apparently her Duolingo score in French is pretty impressive, too. It's the radiant Daisy Ridley.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
So like, I love London. I always like... You find a nice place to stay there, Sean? I do know. The Whitby hotels are amazing. Right? Anybody? No? But London is great. I love it. I always wondered, like, what it would be. Like, do you appreciate it like we appreciate it? Or are you just like, oh, there's the Big Bang, there's the blah, blah, blah. You know, the history.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
That's a tick. Now listen, Daisy, tell us about growing up there because you, first of all, five girls in one family.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
And father was a photographer. Mother worked at a bank. Nobody else kind of had the bug to get into the business.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Guys, just so you know, Tring Park, it looks like Downton Abbey. It's like unbelievable. I can't believe you went to school there.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Wait, so that's what I want to ask. Like, you dropped out of college, right, to take Star Wars, right? Yeah.
SmartLess
"Daisy Ridley"
Was there any hesitation at all in accepting that role at such a young age because being in school or whatever for fear that it might, like, did you even think about it might change your way of life forever or were you more like, get me the hell out of here, I want to work? You know what I mean? Did you ever think about how much it would change your life?
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Wow. Just for my sister Tracy, just a little context. And I didn't know this until I started reading about you. So you started this little comedy troupe, which is now also a production company called... The Lonely Island. And it's three of your friends. I did not know this, that you met in eighth grade. Yeah. Well, Keev and you were in seventh grade. That's crazy. Seventh grade.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
And so when you got hired on SNL, so you guys had been friends for all those years. And then when you get hired on SNL, they hire all three of you at the same time. That's what I couldn't understand. It's like, but Andy was on. Oh, they were. Oh, I see. So they wrote.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Tracy, that was Lorne Michaels. It's like American Idol when the parents bring the kid on and then the parents get on.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
It just kills me. And you basically started the SNL Digital Shorts. They'd never done anything like that. Now they do it all the time. Well, McKay had done it. McKay, yeah. Oh, McKay did it.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
So good. So good. But, I mean, this sounds such a cheesy fan question because I am and we are, but, like, it's so dumb, so just bear with me, and I'm sure you've been asked this a million times. Is show business hard?
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
no is is uh you know dick in the box like all of them that became so huge on their own how do you i would ask the same this same question to a musician how did you come how do you come up with them is it like are you at home in the shower thinking the most bizarre funny or is it like do you come up with a song first and then you're like let's do a video or like or like how does it all happen it's uh it's different every time so like
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Yes, but I can get you 1,000 of those for $5. You can get me a thousand t-shirts for $5? Well, like vintage old, like 70s, 80s, 90s bands. Where are you getting these? You just get them online.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
They do vinyl again, right? Mm-hmm. They're still in business. They sell vinyl.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Yeah, it's cool. Wait, so I want to talk more about that. So you grew up in the Bay Area. You grew up around music. What kind of music did your dad listen to and then you listened to? And what kind of would you... Did you gravitate towards a specific genre at Amoeba Records?
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Yeah. Did you OD on gummies? No. So now I don't. You know what I did? What'd you do? You guys are going to laugh. Probably not.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Did you go crazy? I was walking down the street, and I hailed a cab, and I ran to get the cab, and it just triggered it. You can't run?
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Andy, I want to talk to you about growing... No, when you were a kid. Because I read this thing where you wrote a letter to your eight-year-old self. Oh, yeah. What was that about? And were you into comedy at such a young age that you knew that you wanted to do it even at eight years old?
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
No, I'm going to get the ablation where they go in and they fry a little part of your heart out. You've heard what that is, right?
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
But, you know, everybody always talks to you about those shorts, but I loved tons of stuff that you did. I loved the impressions you did. Thanks. Mark Zuckerberg, Nick Cage, Mark Wahlberg, Hugh Jackman. Was there a celebrity of somebody you did that you heard from about any of your impressions?
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
I love that. I love that so much. So wait, so tell me about how, you know, I did that little thing with you, the Maya Rudolph show. And you made me pee in my pants. So... We had fun, Sean. Oh, my God. I laughed so hard with you. I was crying laughing. And so many bits came out of that. But you told me about your wife. And you're like, you know, you're a musician, Sean.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
My wife plays the harp and she sings. I'm like, oh, who's your wife? And you told me Joanna is. And I downloaded her album. And I was like, oh, my God. This woman's amazing. Like I fell in love with her right away. Do you guys work on music stuff together? Do you check in with her? How does that work?
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
You know, I love that. If you have a biggest flub SNL story, I live for them.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Actor's nightmare. I love those stories. Wait, now, Palm Springs is one of my favorite movies. I love that movie. When I saw it come out, I was like, oh, Andy's in a gay film. And then it wasn't gay at all.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Andy, you have a new podcast with Seth Meyers called The Lonely Island, the Seth Meyers Podcast, right? That's right. And how did it start? Are you excited? Is it started? Tell us everything.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
But Jay, you know why I love Haagen-Dazs? Vanilla ice cream. Because it's only milk, eggs, cream, and sugar. And that's it. And vanilla.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Wow, we got to check it out. That's so fun. So that's coming on soon. What's it called? The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast. Yeah. We debated that name. Yeah, I guess I see why.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Yeah, I did too. And you know what, Andy? I have to say how you looked forward to Saturday Night Live as a kid. I looked forward to your digital shorts watching Saturday Night Live in the same way. Yeah, me too. Every single week. And now it continues to other things. Like when I saw you in Palm Springs, I was like, oh my God, another movie that Andy's doing. I just can't get enough of it.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
And we're so grateful you came today. So thank you for coming on our little show. Likewise. Guys, we're industry staples.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Andy, thank you, my friend. Thanks for being here. We appreciate it. We appreciate you.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
For sure. And everybody agrees, everybody can agree that everybody loves Andy Samberg.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
There you go. Yeah, he's extra special. I love everything he does. Always good in everything he does.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
And I think for the Lonely Island guys, they created this brand and this company and this thing that's really awesome and cool and stays like real smart and real funny always.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
No, I have nothing. But if I did have something, it would be... It would go like this. It would go... It would reference Howard Stern, and I would say something like, Bye-bye, Bowie. Bowie. Bye-bye, Bowie. Bye-bye, Bowie.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
He's really a patient guy, too. Yes, and he makes me laugh. Sorry. He's a fellow podcaster. An all-around funny guy. At age five, he asked his parents if he could change his name, and they said yes. I'd consider him part of my own personal SNL Hall of Fame, mastering some of my favorite impressions of all time.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
And though he's a standalone talent, his comedy work usually comes as a package deal of three. Together, do you know who it is yet?
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Together with his comedy trio, he helped put YouTube on the map with his hilarious star-studded music videos in the early 2000s. It's my comedy friend, Andy Samberg. Andy Samberg! Andy!
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Yeah. Ryder. Uh-huh. Got it. Are you at a massage place right now with the screen behind you?
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
Andy, we dress almost exactly the same, although I'm not wearing my hoodie, but baseball hat. You can grab it.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
We got time, right? It's a podcast. It's a great podcast. So, Andy, thank you for coming on today. I was really excited about you coming. First of all, I didn't know you changed your name. I thought you were always Andy. What was it before? Sean, hi.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
I bet it's Forte because you're both Wills. Maybe. You know what? The other day I was in a doctor's office a couple months ago and I'm walking out and this guy in the waiting room goes, hey, where are the other two and a half guys?
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
I'm like, I thought they meant Jason and Will. And I got to the elevator and I was like... They thought you were Angus, the kid from Two and a Half.
SmartLess
"Andy Samberg"
You want to go around and introduce yourselves? We haven't done it in a long time. We haven't. Yeah, go ahead. I'm Sean Hayes. I'm Will Arnett.