Introducing the new host of Bad Dates, Joel Kim Booster! Each week, Joel's funniest friends will share their stories of where romance goes to die. New episodes available now!https://link.chtbl.com/cSz5MbvY Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.
Hey, SmartList listeners, it's Sean Hayes with some exciting news. One of our SmartList Media shows is back with a brand new host. I'm talking about the one and only Bad Dates. And for season two, it's hosted by the hilarious Joel Kim Booster. You might know Joel from Apple TV's Loot, Hulu's Fire Island, his Netflix comedy special, or his very revealing guest role on HBO's Industry.
This season, he'll be your guide through all of the iconic and painfully true bad date stories that his guests reveal with all the gory details you loved in season one. And we'll still hear real letters and voice messages from listeners sharing their own worst dates. Plus, Joel will weigh in about his own lengthy and bizarre time in the dating trenches.
We love the show because everybody has had them. Everybody can relate to them. And now it's time to laugh at them on season two of Bad Dates with your new host, Joel Kim Booster. Check out this clip from the show and follow Bad Dates wherever you get your podcasts.
And now the very funny Justin Martindale.
So it was a nice summer evening. This was probably about like almost, I want to say 10 years ago. Oh, wow. A child.
You were a baby.
No, I'll say like seven. I still am. So I went to the show, it was a show here in LA and I met this guy and the lighting was just good. And I was very inebriated and we were talking, we kind of hit it off. We started making out. And then we exchanged numbers. And he was living in New York. I was in L.A. So we were like, we're going to just do this bi-coastal, long-distance fantasy.
And one day, if destiny allows us, we will meet up again, right? We started talking regularly on the phone. And this was kind of before FaceTime kind of took off. So we were just like talking and flirting and, you know, he started talking about, like, so when are you going to come to New York? And I'll make this, like, great weekend for us. And I'm like, okay, sure, yeah, let's make it happen.
So finally, I want to say, like, November, maybe, like, a couple days before Thanksgiving, I... Got a flight, went out to New York, and I'm waiting at the airport for him to pick me up. He shows up and I'm like, I don't know this person. Like, he didn't look like the guy that I had seen that night. Of course, it was blurry and shadowy, but I was like, oh, no.
And New York can do a lot of damage to your... In a month. Yeah, a couple months. Yeah, a couple months in New York. A couple months can change people. He was just, like, not... the person that I remember.
Do you think you got twin switched? Do you think?
Oh, I never thought about that. Oh my God. Yeah, seriously. A twin catfish. Yeah. So we go into his apartment and I'm looking at his place and I'm like, oh, this is really weird. He had like a trench coat that was nailed to the wall. And I was like, what is that? And he was like, well... I love musical theater, and I'm like, shit, like immediately, because I'm not like a big musical theater gay.
That's a logical response.
Yeah, what musical is that referencing? I am so glad you asked, because he had stolen Lea Michele's trench coat when she was eponine in Les Mis.
Oh, my God. Well, he just shot up in my estimation, I gotta say.
Nailed it to his wall. Like, it wasn't even in a frame. It was just a trench coat crucified to the wall. So, I'm like, oh, okay. And he had, like, a whole bunch of, like, other little Broadway knickknacks and everything. He didn't have time to steal a frame? What was the... Steal a frame! Like, do something. Like, it looks weird. We hadn't made any moves on each other.
We hadn't even, like, kissed. It was just very, very, very awkward. Yeah. And then, finally, he's like, I have... a surprise for you. I got us tickets to go see Wicked. And so I had never seen Wicked. I was like, okay, cool. This is a Broadway show. Fine. He got us like orchestra seats. They were really good seats. And he said, I need you to be the lookout. You have to stand near the door. Yeah.
I have to watch Elphaba so you don't steal her hat, right?
The story is also very Boil the Frog. Like you're like, okay, all right.
I didn't want to be a bad sport. You know, I'm like, I don't want to seem like I'm not grateful.
Well, you flew across the country and I'm assuming coach. Yes, I did. You weren't in Delta One back then. No, I'm not.
Not bad, you know.
Middle seat, back row.
By the toilet. So we end up going to see Wicked and I'd never seen Wicked and it starts out and it's all grand and everything. And then I realized like I'm hearing something that's not part of the show. And so I look over and he is belting every song like he is in the show, like every song. And I'm mortified. I'm sitting there and I'm like, shut the fuck up.
To the point where one of the flying monkeys in one of the numbers looks at us and hushes us. I have never been hushed.
To be hushed by a flying monkey? By Chistory?
Hushed by a flying monkey, which is not a CBS sitcom. The flying monkey's looking at you like, be more civilized, please.
Seriously. Returns to screeching, jumping around.
And I'm like, you have to shut up. And he's like, okay, sorry, sorry. It's like my favorite musical. I've seen it like 800 times. And I'm like, okay, well, I've never seen it, so shut the fuck up.
So in my head, I'm like, does he sing every time or is it for you? Do you know what I mean?
Yeah. I have no idea. He was just like, was it for you or was he hoping a casting director was in the audience? Yeah.
Probably so. Probably so. We went and saw Bring It On as well. And I don't remember that musical. It was so bad. It was just, I couldn't do it. But the same thing. And he was just like, you know, curtain call came out and he was like, Natalie!
Natalie! Natalie! Yes! I've been sending you the packages. I've been sending you packages, Natalie.
He's like, girl, you nailed it, girl. And Natalie's not even looking. It was awful. And that was it. And did you ever hear from this man again? No, I didn't. But, I mean, can I get a little dark? Oh, boy.
Please. Oh, no.
He died.
You tell us that after we've been riffing on him, making fun of him.
I got, like, a memory on Facebook, and I was like, oh, yeah, that guy. And I clicked, and it was like, this is, like, an in-memoriam, like, account now. And I was like, oh, no. But I will say... Because I knew him, I have been changed for good. Wow. Fuck you.
Fuck you. Do you know if he died doing what he loved? Stealing Broadway memorabilia? I don't know.
I wonder who got the Lea Michele trench.
I know, right? Who got that in the estate sale? He probably was trying to sneak backstage and get something from Funny Girl and Lea Michele, stand her ground laws, shock him. Yeah, yeah, I know. This is so dark. We have to stop. Bad Dates.
You can hear the rest of this episode by listening to Bad Dates wherever you get your podcasts. Smart. Blast.
Neon.