Ladies and gents, it’s Jim Gaffigan the clapping sea lion! 200 commercials, 11 specials, 5 children, and a bunch of bottles o’ bourbon. “Did they introduce new numbers?” Welcome to SmartLess. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of SmartLess ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.
Chapter 1: Who is the surprise guest on the podcast?
Hey, guys, I got a mouthful of English muffin with a glass full of apple juice here on the rocks. Thank you very much. And I'm here with my surprise guest today, who is a clapping sea lion. Oh, my God. This is, by the way, before Jason and Will are on. Welcome to Smartleth. Smartleth.
Crazy. I can't see surprise guest yet. Maybe their camera's off. No, you're not supposed to.
Wait, how does it work? You're not supposed to. By the way, he won't stop clapping.
Oh, we got a live one? Yeah. Oh, boy. You might want to just get right to this guest and do our chat afterwards. We've got some falling work going on over here.
Chapter 2: What did they discuss about their dinner last night?
We had, by the way, what a wonderful dinner we had last night.
We had a nice dinner, didn't we, the three of us? It was gorgeous.
We really did. Listen, you know, the three of us don't really get a chance to have just a three-top, you know. Not since the early 90s. It went really well. Sean generously picked up the bill. I know. Kind of sneaky-like.
Very sneaky-like. I gotta be honest.
I enjoy doing it.
I know. I know it's nice to do, but consider this sometimes. And again, I don't want this to seem like I'm being ungrateful because it was very nice of you, so thank you. This is all dressed up in a thank you. Yeah. But keep in mind. I got a heart out in five minutes. Other people might want to have the opportunity to do that as well. I know.
So you don't want to take away from other people the ability. Save it.
Will's got about the fucking shortest fucking T-Rex arms you'll ever find at a dinner table. What are you talking about? This fucking guy, you could drop a check on fire in front of him and he wouldn't bat it out. He wouldn't touch it. That is so untrue. He'd just let it catch his fucking pants on fire before he touched a burning check.
That is so untrue. That is patently untrue. Sean, one of the crew members just walked through. Yeah, a bear just walked through your living room.
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Chapter 3: How did Jim Gaffigan get into comedy?
First of all, I got two things to say about it. So when we got it from the number one, when we got it from the table last night at dinner, Jason, you pulled aside and said, I got to run in the bathroom quick. So me and Will went outside and waited for you. I should have thrown it all up at that point. I should have taken it all out of me. And then we're standing there.
And then you come out, and both Will and I are like, wait a minute, who's this fucking guy coming up and talking to us out of the blue? He's like, it's crazy.
And I thought, where's JB?
Yeah.
I don't even know what a twink is. Is that a good or bad thing? No, you're a twink. So listener, they're talking about because I've had my, I've looked like Jesus Christ for the last nine months, basically, as I'm playing this guy with long hair and long beard and all that stuff. And I just cut it all off because we came to the end of the thing.
The number of people, and Sean, you're probably the same, who have come up to me as if I'm your wife over the last six months go, hey, or texted me. People have gone so far and go like, hey, what's up with Jason? How come he's here so long? And I'm like, he's an actor.
What are you doing? But they all assume. I love that nobody assumes that I would be doing it for any sort of acting part. Nobody thinks you're in trouble. Everybody thinks I'm in trouble. They go there instead of like, well, he's not much of a thespian. He's not going to change his look for a part. He must have just hit fuck it and we've got to send him some money. Yeah.
Why did Marty Berg grow his hair?
But anyway. And then you dropped me off. And then we said, I went, I'm like, well, where's Uptown? Because I'm so lost downtown. Like, I don't understand. And he goes, just go that way. I was walking for like 20 minutes. I'm like, I don't know why.
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Chapter 4: What insights does Jim Gaffigan share about parenting?
Is dad still with us?
No, he's been dead for like 20 years. You're waiting for a message? He's right over here.
He's just off camera.
Wake up. Every morning I'm like, wake up. He's really tired. He's really tired.
You just put new ice on him every day? Yeah, he's just... Hey, how did you get to be in 200 commercials? I'm actually envious of that.
I was on this show, Silver Spoons.
No.
That was Jason. No, there was an era in the 90s where they really loved the idea of the dumb white guy in every commercial. And I was like, I'll do that. Sean wasn't available. I did those too. I did a ton of them. There's a lot of dumb white guy work and I loved it.
I immediately started thinking, oh wait, this is one of those guys that's got one of those campaigns. It's like, you know, like the Jack in a Box guy.
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Chapter 5: How does Jim balance family life and a comedy career?
Is it Jimmy? Yeah, it's Jimmy. I was, when I was a little kid, I was Jimmy. Now, where are you from, Sean?
Glen Ellyn. So it's like 20 minutes from Elgin.
Yeah. Well, we moved pretty quickly to Northwest Indiana. I mean, when I was eight, I guess.
And you wanted to be a farmer? I did.
What kind of, what did you want to farm? You know, I think corn. Sure. It's weird. It's a pretty vague dream.
And not soybeans.
Not something sexy like soybeans or rye, but like corn, you know, like a normal plant. No, I did want to be a farmer. And then, but I also wanted to be an actor in a community.
I know, like early on, like, and your dad was the CEO of the Mercantile National Bank of Indiana.
Yes. So crazy.
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Chapter 6: What are Jim Gaffigan's thoughts on living in New York vs. Los Angeles?
Yes, yes. I have five. I have five. Oh, my God.
Wow. I know. That's a lot of kids.
I'm a very fertile guy. How old is your youngest, Jim? He just turned 12. Oh, wow. Wow. And I feel like with every kid, there was a reason for me to like them. You're like, all right, this one likes me so much. I like him. And then my youngest one looks like me. And so I'm like, all right, I got a mini me. I got to be excited about that. Yeah.
It is amazing, right? Like how you have, you develop these different relationships with the kids based on completely different stuff. I mean, I know you're kind of making a half a joke, but like there is something to be said for like, well, the initial bond started because that little thing that couldn't speak or do anything yet has an attraction to me. And there's, it's almost like a puppy.
Like kids are like puppies before they can speak.
Yeah, of course. Right? Yeah, totally. It's like,
Oh, they jump on my lap all the time. And so, well, I like you too. And now you're my favorite pet.
And then your role changes and you're like, okay, I'm the peacekeeper between, because daughters and mothers go through some weird crap. And now I'm kind of Boutros, Boutros, golly here, you know, trying to keep some peace. And then there's just different ones where you're like, all right, I'm the evil cop.
that you know has to be the disciplinarian yeah or the one kid's actually much less less like a puppy and much more like a cat so they're they're difficult like they don't give you the time of day so you end up being very drawn to that one you know i gotta win that one over right independence i know you've got almost a half a dozen there it must be yeah my relationship with my kids is so good i don't have to like worry about rules we just kind of click man sorry i just wanted
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Chapter 7: What led Jim to create his own TV show?
Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I've definitely... I think my career might be completely different if I lived in LA. I mean, it is 99% of the business. Right. But it's also, I don't want to sound like the person, you know, like there's a, you know, like, I'm not like Sam Shepard said, I'm on a farm in Virginia. Right. You can fax me only. You know what I mean? It's like, I wish I could be that guy.
I mean, I definitely care. I'm definitely the guy who's, you know, works really, I'm the guy who does his homework. You know what I mean? I'm not like, I don't even know, I don't even know my agent's name.
No, yeah, you've been able to stay so relevant for so long. You've had this really long career and yet you've been able to, you know, live outside of it to a certain extent, yeah? Oh, thanks. Yeah.
It's admirable. Jim, how many years... What was your first break and how many years have you been doing stand-up? I've been doing it for like 35 years. And was it always stand-up first or was it an actor first and then you wanted it?
It was a little bit of both, but it was... I would say, yeah, stand-up was something I always did, but I always wanted to act. But there's such fantastic actors in New York.
Yeah, but the Jim Gaffigan show was hilarious.
But wait, I want to get into the stand-up.
First of all, what was the first night? What was the first time you were in front of the people?
The first time, I was so... You know, there's such an audacity necessary to go into this business, right? And also with stand-up, to go on stage, that... I waited until someone dared me. I had a fear of public speaking, so I took an improv class. This was way before UCB existed. And in the improv class, someone was like, there's a stand-up seminar. This is in 1990, 1991.
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Chapter 8: What are Jim's favorite steakhouse experiences?
The great Peter Tolan. And then he was under a Sony deal, and so he couldn't go... When we went to TV Land. I mean, sometimes they re-aired every episode on Comedy Central, so that's where people would end up seeing it. Yes.
So wait, so, God, so much I wanted to talk about. Oh, wait, by the way, I heard you love to go to Steakhouse after each stand-up thing.
I love steak, yeah.
We just went to a steakhouse last night. We had a great steak last night.
You ever been to Strip Steakhouse?
Strip?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. And so do you guys try, how often do you guys get together and pretend to like each other?
Yeah, not very.
Not that often. It's too hard.
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