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SmartLess

"Trevor Noah"

Mon, 27 May 2024

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Hop on your underwater moped, because Trevor Noah joins us this week to talk about thread count, a pocket of nothing, and the trappings of American fame and popularity. So come along and learn how knowing people works… on an all-new SmartLess. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

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Transcription

5.106 - 13.709 Jason Bateman

Well, listen, I'm really thrilled to be here with you two today. I didn't think I was going to make it. Yeah. What happened?

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13.969 - 21.131 Will Arnett

JB, he was close. He almost didn't make it through the weekend, and then the doctor decided to revive him with two almonds.

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21.831 - 24.272 Jason Bateman

Yeah. Brought him back to life.

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24.452 - 26.092 Will Arnett

And they come and they go, clear, pop, pop.

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26.192 - 34.982 Jason Bateman

Yeah. I was a little lightheaded yesterday, but... Two nuts in my mouth really, they fix a lot.

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35.002 - 35.644 Sean Hayes

Brought you to life.

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35.945 - 37.208 Jason Bateman

I know how you feel. Welcome to Smart Life.

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54.927 - 71.427 Will Arnett

Hey, JB, JB, before Rob, Rob, show yourself again real quick. Just let's see Armjarv. And he said, JB, Rob says to Sean, I've got your favorite sports team on my head. Says spaghetti. That's very good. Says spaghetti. That's fun.

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71.467 - 73.709 Jason Bateman

Isn't that fun? It's fun. It's good, clean fun.

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73.95 - 74.771 Will Arnett

It is good, clean fun.

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75.984 - 85.321 Sean Hayes

So, good morning. Good morning, Jason. First things first. Please, you know I'm obsessed with medical stories. Please tell me what happened to you three, four days ago. Oh.

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86.218 - 88.438 Jason Bateman

Well, I'm still in it, unfortunately.

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88.458 - 89.179 Sean Hayes

You still feel like crap?

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89.539 - 95.04 Jason Bateman

Well, it's just things are loose, okay? Oh, Jesus.

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95.72 - 126.014 Jason Bateman

And, you know, I think what it is, God bless my wife. She is more on top of the health stuff than you are even, which I guess is not that high of a bar to leap over considering you mainline meatloaf and everything. Right. But she gave me this, some sort of supplement for longevity, right? It's like a peptide or something or other. New? Huh? New or been taking it? No, no, no.

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126.054 - 138.024 Jason Bateman

Yeah, just a couple of weeks ago. And then she had me take even a little bit more last weekend and that's what did it. I'm pretty sure that's it.

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138.985 - 158.763 Will Arnett

Well, first of all, We ruled out immediately food poisoning. Yeah. Right. Because it would have had to have been bad lettuce. Well, because you would have had to eat. Eat, yeah. So that's off the table. I know. I mean, it was not the flu. The flu, like if you'd had like a stomach bug, it would have moved faster.

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159.235 - 168.828 Jason Bateman

through you by now. No, it's still, yeah, I'm fatigued and I can't eat and like, and look how puffy my eyes are too. It's like, whatever this thing is, like I got to stop it and which I'm doing.

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169.228 - 173.054 Will Arnett

Yeah. Yeah. Very good. Yeah. It'd be great if the longevity thing killed you.

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174.575 - 202.35 Jason Bateman

i mean i just she did say she got a deal on it um but uh i'm glad you're you're feeling better than you were before uh yes oh yeah yeah i had to cancel a day of work i haven't done that for a long time yeah but you guys are very very sweet you're you're just you know you guys you guys are a couple of the good ones i don't care what they say oh yeah Yeah. And you're incredible at reading ads.

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202.43 - 204.771 Jason Bateman

Didn't you guys just win an award for your ad reading?

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204.791 - 205.632 Sean Hayes

Did you guys?

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205.712 - 212.456 Jason Bateman

I think we all did. Right? Well, wait, am I a part of it? Yeah. You want to get to our host?

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212.756 - 212.936 Sean Hayes

Yeah.

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212.956 - 241.83 Jason Bateman

Okay, great. So, you know, this guy is a media titan. He's incredibly smart, incredibly funny. He is responsible for one of my favorite shows. I was very sort of, not nervous, but this show has gone through a couple of hosts and I was hoping that it would land on somebody else.

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242.59 - 265.322 Jason Bateman

even better and they have um and uh he's got multiple irons on the fire this guy's just he's um cycle high i think is what is what they say you know he's doing tons of stuff and it's all fantastic i'm gonna let him tell you about it but i'm very very excited he said yes to doing this today any guesses i can't I have no idea.

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265.642 - 267.665 Will Arnett

Chris.

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267.685 - 283.057 Jason Bateman

He started in stand-up. An additional hint, he hosted a political comedy show on Comedy Central. First name starts with T. Last name starts with N. Trevor Noah.

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283.097 - 284.638 Will Arnett

Everybody, it's Trevor Noah.

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284.678 - 291.082 Jason Bateman

It's Trevor Noah. It's Trevor Noah. It's Trevor Noah. I mean... What's going on, everybody?

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291.182 - 299.368 Will Arnett

Hey. Hi, everybody. From the original sort of lead-in or set-up, I thought it was like, this is like a newscaster. We got like Walter Cronkite coming in.

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299.708 - 302.49 Trevor Noah

I was confused for a moment. I genuinely thought it was someone else.

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302.93 - 316.135 Jason Bateman

Yeah, usually I write these things, but this freaking job I've got in New York, it's really cutting into my prep time, so this interview is going to be even worse than the normal ones. Yeah, I was thrown, but then you said the name, then I was like, okay, we're good.

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316.675 - 319.476 Will Arnett

You were like, oh, it's me. It's still me.

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320.196 - 329.279 Jason Bateman

I mean, let's start right there. I mean, did you feel the pressure I felt when you were going in there to take over this incredible show?

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329.299 - 357.733 Trevor Noah

Yeah. I mean... So here's the thing. When I was going in to take over The Daily Show, I don't think I felt the amount of pressure that I should have felt. Because I didn't grow up with The Daily Show. And I met Jon Stewart just as a stand-up comedian meeting another stand-up comedian. And I mean, we still talk about that now. Now that Jon has gone back to hosting the show,

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358.413 - 380.284 Trevor Noah

we'll still share the stories of how ironically the other day we were on the phone and I was saying to him, it's funny that we've gone full circle. When we first spoke, it was on the phone and I was traveling through like Dubai and England doing comedy shows. And then now when we spoke and he's host again, I'm traveling and I was literally in Dubai calling him, having another conversation.

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380.784 - 390.431 Trevor Noah

It's literally gone through a circle. But I wasn't nervous. And then I think after the first few episodes, then the nerves kicked in, which is strange. Normally it's the other way around.

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390.451 - 394.794 Jason Bateman

Because now you've got a better idea for what it is than you did then. Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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395.214 - 400.059 Trevor Noah

And a better idea of how people reacted to it. I think that was the biggest thing.

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400.099 - 415.114 Jason Bateman

Because it's so important. It's like this great, it's sort of this Trojan horse that's on a network. It's helping all the medicine go down a little bit easier. The medicine that's so vital for all of us to be taking in. Definitely.

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416.235 - 418.617 Will Arnett

What joke really kills in Dubai?

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420.407 - 439.406 Trevor Noah

Huh, that's an interesting one. And then tell us what joke you can't tell in Dubai. So what joke really kills in Dubai? So whenever I travel, you know, for my shows, it makes it a lot harder, but what I love to do is find... comedy that I could only do in that region.

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439.547 - 461.916 Trevor Noah

So I was trying to find something, you know, whether it's an observation, whether it's an experience, but just something that you could only say in Dubai and then someone who's not living there would go, wait, what does that mean? So I'll try to tell a few jokes that have like an Arabic punchline or, you know, I'll play with something in that world.

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462.056 - 468.179 Sean Hayes

I mean, isn't Dubai like that super rich, like, aren't they incredibly, isn't everybody incredibly wealthy?

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468.199 - 476.643 Will Arnett

Let's go for the definition of it. Go ahead, Sean. Try to be less articulate. Go ahead.

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476.663 - 479.645 Jason Bateman

Have you ever been outside the United States? Oh, of course.

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480.125 - 488.509 Sean Hayes

I know Dubai. Sure. What kind of jokes do you tell about, isn't like every single human being there super wealthy?

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488.869 - 502.483 Trevor Noah

Yeah, well, I mean, the Emiratis are pretty wealthy, but then most of the audience is expats. I think it's like 90%. Yeah, 90%. It's one of the most diverse audiences you'll perform for. Oh, that's so great. I love that.

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502.563 - 509.931 Jason Bateman

Did you ever get up there when you were coming up in South Africa? Did you ever get up there and were any of your dates up in that area?

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510.231 - 522.781 Trevor Noah

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, when I had to take over The Daily Show, I had to let go of a bunch of dates that were happening around the world. So I just got a foothold into touring all over the, you know, all over the planets.

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523.141 - 527.384 Will Arnett

I've had to do that a lot, let go of a lot of dates all over the world.

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527.444 - 534.59 Sean Hayes

Because I just didn't want to, because I didn't want to seem like... I want to know, you know, when you first came on the scene... Why is the sky blue?

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534.61 - 535.651 Jason Bateman

Sorry.

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536.531 - 561.28 Sean Hayes

Was that not it? Yeah, that's not it. That's because it's a reflection of the ocean. So, Trevor, when you first came on The Daily Show, that was my first discovery of you. I was like, oh, what a glorious, wonderful discovery of this man. Oh, thank you. But before that, bad on me, I didn't quite know where you came from.

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561.98 - 563.021 Trevor Noah

Nor should you know, yeah.

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563.301 - 566.762 Sean Hayes

So what was life before that and what led you to getting that job?

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567.267 - 580.817 Trevor Noah

It's funny, you know, I'm never offended by that. I don't know, some people apologize for that. Again, I find it's quite common for people to say that in America. They'll say, I'm sorry, I didn't know you. It's a strange thing.

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580.837 - 585.88 Sean Hayes

Because it's such a massive platform. We feel badly that we didn't follow your career before you got the big thing.

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585.9 - 592.225 Trevor Noah

Yeah, but surely you don't know somebody before you know them. That's how knowing people works. I'm always intrigued by that. I'm writing that down.

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595.018 - 597.221 Jason Bateman

But now you can't walk down the street, I'm sure.

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597.241 - 605.512 Will Arnett

That's how knowing someone works. Do you think Einstein, he apologized to physics before he learned it?

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606.313 - 607.795 Sean Hayes

Yeah, right.

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607.815 - 616.622 Jason Bateman

Right. But you were crushing it in stand-up such that you met with John, yes?

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616.842 - 634.974 Trevor Noah

Yeah, so it was really random. So I started comedy in South Africa, performed there my whole life. I was lucky enough that we... What part of South Africa were you... So I was born in Johannesburg, raised in Soweto and Johannesburg, and then that's where I did most of my comedy. We didn't have a comedy club, so...

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635.734 - 650.078 Trevor Noah

Just to give you a bit of a backstory, I'm assuming you know, but if you don't, so during apartheid, free speech was illegal in South Africa, right? And so you weren't allowed to gather, you know, a group of black people weren't allowed to be in one space and there were all these laws.

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650.458 - 675.589 Trevor Noah

So stand-up comedy, obviously, you know, is one of the first things that's outlawed in any place that restricts speech. Wow. So we didn't even have comedy clubs. We didn't have anything. And then once democracy started in 1994, all of a sudden there was just like a boon of new, a boon of people being like, can we sit together? Can we laugh together? God, that must have been exciting.

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675.649 - 702.023 Trevor Noah

And comedy blew up in the most informal places. Comedy was this huge explosion. And you were how old at that time? No, so I only got into comedy, in 94, I'm six years old. I only got into comedy when I was 20, I want to say 21. And it was still new. You couldn't make a living from comedy, which I loved about it. It really was something that everyone was doing.

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702.503 - 711.005 Trevor Noah

It wasn't like in the US where people would do comedy so they could get a sitcom, so they could become a movie star. No, there it was, you do comedy because you like comedy.

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711.685 - 714.206 Will Arnett

And also escape the horror of their upbringing.

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714.466 - 721.809 Trevor Noah

Oh, yeah. Well, I think that's what all comedy is, even in the US, to be honest with you. Yeah. I think everyone's doing comedy to escape their horrible upbringing.

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721.829 - 724.931 Jason Bateman

But you actually wrote a book about it too, right?

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725.331 - 726.731 Trevor Noah

Yeah, yeah, I did.

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726.831 - 729.853 Jason Bateman

Which became a, what did it sell, like 3 million copies?

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730.793 - 733.954 Trevor Noah

I don't know. I don't like numbers, to be honest with you.

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733.974 - 734.935 Jason Bateman

Well, it did very well.

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734.995 - 740.858 Trevor Noah

No, no, no. I mean this honestly. You know why. I don't like numbers when they're good and I don't like them when they're bad. Right.

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740.898 - 741.438 Jason Bateman

You and me both.

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741.458 - 746.382 Trevor Noah

Why don't you like them when they're good? Because if you live by the good numbers, then you must die by the bad numbers.

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746.743 - 747.483 Will Arnett

Yeah, absolutely.

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747.503 - 750.185 Trevor Noah

I think if you're creating, you should just create and then... Very good.

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750.626 - 764.397 Will Arnett

I'm so with you, then you're not at the effect of outside circumstances. So, Trevor, so walk me through. So you come up in a place that is almost, you know, that has just a very new comedy scene, if you will.

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764.437 - 765.138 Unknown

Yeah, yeah.

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765.298 - 786.556 Will Arnett

And... Now you go, you start touring, you do lots of great stuff, then you take over The Daily Show and you just absolutely explode into the comedy world. When you go back to South Africa, is it safe to say that you're kind of like the first big South African comedy star? Oh, yeah. Is there a lot of pressure associated with that?

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787.016 - 799.97 Trevor Noah

You know what? Not pressure. Not pressure. We... It's... It's so much fun, man. It's hard to explain. So the difference between the two places, I find, in America, fame is almost like royalty.

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801.011 - 810.802 Jason Bateman

Right. That's why people apologize if they may be unaware of if you had some beforehand. I was not aware that you were of your kind. I apologize. My liege.

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811.122 - 821.251 Trevor Noah

Silence, knave. In South Africa, it's just like people know you. Everyone just treats you like you're part of a big family. That's how it feels.

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821.411 - 830.999 Jason Bateman

And was it equally welcoming when you came back and you were now famous? Or were they like, oh, were they sort of circumspect and like, let's see if he changed?

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831.219 - 841.865 Trevor Noah

I was pretty well known before I left South Africa. So it was just like, oh, congratulations, you've gone and put us on the world stage doing something. That's great.

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842.165 - 864.836 Jason Bateman

So tell me about, I imagine when you were doing a bunch of touring, you got used to life on the road and all the bumps and bruises that go along with it. And then you got this incredibly prestigious job. And I'm sure we're making a whole hell of a lot more money than you were before. and getting used to thread count, nice candles and soaps and the lot.

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864.856 - 865.756 Unknown

Thread count.

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866.457 - 879.306 Jason Bateman

How has it changed you and made you more soft now and it's tougher going back out on the road? I know you're playing arenas and stadiums and stuff, but is the old Trevor still alive?

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880.247 - 895.276 Trevor Noah

It's funny. My life went the other way around. When I first started The Daily Show, I was actually earning less than I was doing stand-up around the world. I was working hard and I was doing pretty well. So it was really taking the job because of the challenge and the opportunity.

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896.856 - 912.683 Trevor Noah

As for the thread count, I think my life became a little bit worse because now I was in New York in the winters, walking down the street in like a mini blizzard, walking down like 11th Avenue. I don't know if you've been to the Daily Show studios in New York. It is one of the worst parts of New York.

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912.923 - 913.043 Will Arnett

Yeah.

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913.223 - 915.844 Trevor Noah

Like in one of the worst parts ever.

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915.884 - 923.906 Will Arnett

And it's not like worst part just to clarify for the listener in that it's dangerous. It's just more that it's shitty.

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924.426 - 930.427 Trevor Noah

It's really shitty. Dangerous would be better because then it means people are there to do something to you.

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930.447 - 931.247 Will Arnett

Yes, exactly.

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931.307 - 933.808 Trevor Noah

It's like a barren wasteland of nothingness.

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934.128 - 935.67 Will Arnett

It is such a fucking nothing area.

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935.69 - 937.212 Trevor Noah

Yeah, it's just a pocket of nothing.

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937.512 - 946.763 Jason Bateman

So tell us about the meeting with John and how that whole sort of idea sparked in John and how he approached you and what that conversation was like.

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947.563 - 974.323 Trevor Noah

So I got a call. It's one of those moments where you remember exactly what was happening, but not because of how momentous it was in that moment, rather because of how random the thing is that I was doing. I was in London. I was doing my first tour of the UK. And on this particular day, I was standing in Harrods, the mega department store that sells everything.

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974.343 - 995.237 Trevor Noah

And when I say everything, I mean everything. You all probably know it. And I couldn't afford anything in Harrods. Maybe some of the croissants, I don't know. And I was standing in front of an underwater moped. Like an underwater scooter thing. Like you ride it like a motorbike, but underwater. I have one.

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995.337 - 1000.919 Jason Bateman

Don't bore Will. He's got one for him and all four boys. Wait, an underwater moped. Okay.

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1001.199 - 1018.687 Trevor Noah

Yeah. You see, this is what my brain was doing. At that exact moment, my brain was doing the same thing. I was just standing there staring at it going, what is this? Why is this? And why don't I try and get one? And the price was ridiculous. And you had to hold your breath while you ride the bike? No, it has a little bubble. You know, like those old... Those old sky, what do you call it?

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1018.707 - 1020.47 Trevor Noah

Like the diving before they had the tanks.

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1020.51 - 1022.875 Unknown

You just put a bubble over your head. It has that.

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1023.496 - 1043.553 Trevor Noah

It's a bubble. And then my phone rang, and it was some long number. I had no clue what, and I answered the phone, because I don't owe anybody money. And the voice on the other end was like, hey, is this Trevor? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, hey, this is Jon Stewart. I was like, okay. And he's like, Jon Stewart, I'm a comedian from America. I was like, oh, okay.

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1043.893 - 1049.034 Trevor Noah

And he's like, you've never heard of me. It's fine. Well, I've seen some of your stuff online.

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1049.074 - 1050.494 Will Arnett

And you were like, sir, I don't know you.

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1054.095 - 1067.56 Trevor Noah

And he said to me, yeah, I saw some of your stuff on YouTube and I want to know if you want to, would you ever consider coming and doing stuff in the US? And I was like, yeah, not really, maybe, I don't know. And he's like, well, I work on a show called The Daily Show. And I was like, oh, I think I've heard of that.

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1067.58 - 1076.823 Trevor Noah

Because I had, I'd seen it on CNN International because we didn't have it on other channels in the world. And I was like, oh yeah, I've heard of it. And he's like, oh, as you should have, young man. He's very funny, you know John.

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1076.963 - 1078.004 Unknown

Yeah, I love John.

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1078.584 - 1100.306 Trevor Noah

Yeah, and then he invited me. He's like, come and hang out. I think you're funny and I like the way you see the world. Come and hang out with me when you get a chance. And so at first I said no. I was like, I've got the tour. And he's like, he said, are you saying no? What did he say? He said, are you saying no to the trappings of American fame and popularity? Who are you, young man?

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1101.166 - 1119.46 Trevor Noah

And I said, no, I've got a tour. I'll see you when I see you. And he said, well, if you're in New York, look me up. And I said, definitely. Thanks for the call. It's nice to hear from you. And then I went to New York, I think six months or eight months later, he called me again. He's like, I hear you're in town, but you didn't look me up. And I was like, oh, Jesus, this guy's relentless. Wow.

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1119.98 - 1123.284 Jason Bateman

So you hadn't told your agent about this phone call who would have probably slapped you.

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1123.304 - 1140.753 Will Arnett

No, I think they gave him my number because they were like, it's Jon Stewart. What if you'd hung up the phone with Jon Stewart and then the woman at the desk at Harrods said, sir, your underwater moped has been paid for by Mr. Stewart. And you're like, fuck, I gotta... This guy. Yeah, I got to go.

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1140.893 - 1143.475 Trevor Noah

I mean, then you say yes immediately, right? Yeah, of course.

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1143.495 - 1149.84 Jason Bateman

Yeah, then it's like a full on. So he tracks you down eight months later in New York. Yeah, and then. He says, come have coffee.

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1150.26 - 1152.222 Trevor Noah

He said, come to the show and hang out.

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1152.542 - 1152.762 Jason Bateman

Yeah.

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1152.942 - 1162.71 Trevor Noah

Just hang out. And that's all I did. I went there. We hung out. I remember them talking about like John Boehner or something. And then I was like, what is this world? What is going on here? Right.

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1163.13 - 1166.291 Jason Bateman

So you had no idea about the political landscape in America.

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1166.311 - 1173.452 Trevor Noah

I knew the larger... In the rest of the world, we keep up with American politics, you know, on a big scale.

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1173.532 - 1187.014 Will Arnett

But the finer minutiae, you know, of filibustering and, you know... Sorry to interrupt again, but the John Boehner story, was it about him crying and some kind of, like, hungover with, like, red wine on his teeth?

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1187.034 - 1189.995 Trevor Noah

Yeah, I think it was then. It was around that point.

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1190.255 - 1201.323 Jason Bateman

Yeah, okay. So you didn't really learn all the specific small-time Cretans that populate the house. No, I did not. Gotcha. We'll be right back.

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1204.265 - 1210.664 Sean Hayes

All right, back to the show. What year did you come to the U.S.? I think this was 2015.

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1211.124 - 1220.107 Will Arnett

Okay. So 2015, and then you're doing a comedy tour. Jon Stewart's hassling you. And at the time, what kind of comedy stuff were you into?

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1220.207 - 1240.286 Trevor Noah

So, you know, this is actually interesting. I remember somebody asked me, they said to me, when the Daily Show happened, they said, so are you going to, they said, are you a political comedian? You know, the Daily Show is very political. And I said, oh, no, no, no, I'm not. I genuinely is like, I'm not a political comedian. I don't even, I don't think of myself that way.

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1241.736 - 1251.765 Trevor Noah

When I spent a little time in the US, I came to realize that what I thought of as non-political humor would be considered ultra-political humor in America.

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1251.785 - 1252.365 Unknown

Right.

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1252.665 - 1268.318 Trevor Noah

Because here, the average person doesn't... I think it's changed since Trump, but back when I first got to the US, most people didn't engage in politics. People would literally say, like, I don't follow politics. I don't get involved. I don't follow politics. Right, right. Right.

0
💬 0

1269.099 - 1284.144 Trevor Noah

Yeah, whereas in South Africa, what we consider a basic level of commenting or being involved in the system, we don't think that's political. For us, political is marching in the streets, freeing people from prison, protesting the system. That's being political.

0
💬 0

1284.164 - 1294.788 Will Arnett

Because in most parts of the world, just being engaged is sort of your civic duty. That's the baseline. No matter where you're in, South Africa or Dubai, isn't it full of rich people or something? Anyway. That's the spot.

0
💬 0

1297.877 - 1310.622 Jason Bateman

Um, so, but I'm so fascinated that, that John and the rest of the brain trust over there thought that you would be a great choice to take over a show that is a mix between comedy and politics.

0
💬 0

1310.662 - 1326.589 Jason Bateman

So it necessitates a full understanding of the comedy world, a full understanding of the political world such that you can blend the two together, find the nuance, find the irony and wrap it all up in, you know, a bunch of jokes for a half an hour or more. Um, like I,

0
💬 0

1327.31 - 1339.707 Jason Bateman

Talk to me about how did they explain to you what their expectations were and how you needn't worry about not even being from here and haven't lived here in a long time. And how did that go?

0
💬 0

1340.779 - 1363.019 Trevor Noah

Well, initially it was, I always describe the story as feeling a lot like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. In that I popped in, I had a great time with John. And I said to him, I was like, this is, I like what you guys are doing, I guess, but this is not for me. And then we laughed about, we would just, man, cause Jon and I just, we get along.

0
💬 0

1363.379 - 1371.303 Trevor Noah

You know, there's comedians where you click with them and your rhythm and your vibe is almost completely simpatico. You're just in it.

0
💬 0

1371.863 - 1377.126 Jason Bateman

I'd like to find the person that doesn't get along with Jon Stewart though. I mean, he's like an all time great guy.

0
💬 0

1377.367 - 1390.056 Trevor Noah

But the comedy is like, you know, when it comes to comedy, I find there's a, it's like music. All musicians can play together, but some musicians can create magic together. And when you find comedians that you share that with, it's pretty special.

0
💬 0

1390.076 - 1394.559 Sean Hayes

There's beats and rhythm. Go ahead. As you can see, I'm still looking.

0
💬 0

1395.1 - 1409.436 Will Arnett

We've got them on a separate volume. I'm still on serve. Sean, real quick, Sean. Sean, real quick. Any follow-up questions about the chocolate factory? It's not a real place. But if you have anything that you'd like to... Isn't that full of people who like chocolate?

0
💬 0

1412.999 - 1425.148 Sean Hayes

I have a thousand questions about the chocolate factory. Oh, my God. Last night, I made an ice cream sundae, and I didn't have any whipped cream, so I made whipped cream. Oh, great. Oh, my God.

0
💬 0

1425.208 - 1434.355 Will Arnett

Are you writing a screenplay about it now? Hey, Trevor, would you venture to say that actually coming here, kind of a...

0
💬 0

1434.995 - 1452.801 Will Arnett

follow up to what Jay was saying, that being an outsider gave you your perspective almost a bit of an advantage, I would suggest, because you don't have American politics or what we've sort of takes for granted as to how the system works and what the dynamics are between the different

0
💬 0

1453.689 - 1459.753 Will Arnett

the left and the right, if you will, just to make it as basic as possible because you come in with a different perspective.

0
💬 0

1460.174 - 1471.962 Jason Bateman

And you just take it as face value, like, oh, this is a clown show, you know, as opposed to being somewhat padded with understanding the whole political system and that it's kind of a joke anyway.

0
💬 0

1472.529 - 1496.915 Trevor Noah

So I think it was a massive disadvantage and an advantage. The disadvantage is people don't like anyone who doesn't look like them or sound like them coming to tell them anything about them. So, you know, I spent weeks getting random death threats and letters. People hated how I said controversy. And then it was, you know... Controversy? Yeah, controversy.

0
💬 0

1497.235 - 1512.763 Trevor Noah

But did you really get death threats, Trevor? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, I mean... That's quite – it's like it's par for the course, I've learned. As soon as you comment on American politics in a public forum, that's pretty much what happens to you. So that was a disadvantage.

0
💬 0

1513.224 - 1528.371 Jason Bateman

Here's something I don't get about the whole phoning in or emailing in a threat, a bomb threat or a death threat. Like – Aren't those the exact kind of threats you don't need to really worry about because who the hell would warn you before they play?

0
💬 0

1528.651 - 1543.735 Jason Bateman

Like, I don't, I'm certainly not belittling it whatsoever, but I'm always like, I can't believe that someone will clear out an entire office building if they get a bomb threat. It's like, well, if they want to put a bomb in there, they're probably just going to do it and not tell you about it.

0
💬 0

1544.716 - 1551.919 Will Arnett

The irony that you look so much like Ted Kaczynski right now while you're saying this. is fucking killing me.

0
💬 0

1552.059 - 1561.247 Jason Bateman

No, I just, you know, I get that they've got to empty the building for insurance reasons because there's going to be a record that they received the threat.

0
💬 0

1561.688 - 1569.574 Will Arnett

So to that, did you ever feel genuinely threatened in a way that was not just a sort of a random kind of... Sure, of course.

0
💬 0

1570.375 - 1591.928 Trevor Noah

I don't know. I mean, it's scary. Yeah, there's a latent level of anxiety that comes with anybody threatening you. And again, I need to state, I don't think it's that uncommon. I'm pretty certain all the other late night hosts have gotten death threats. It's just, it varies.

0
💬 0

1592.508 - 1594.109 Jason Bateman

Kimmel gets one a day, I think.

0
💬 0

1595.29 - 1597.072 Trevor Noah

I've threatened Kimmel twice this week already.

0
💬 0

1597.192 - 1603.939 Sean Hayes

Yeah, yeah. On the beginning of Will & Grace, we used to get death threats all the time. Ah, there you see. In 1998.

0
💬 0

1604.059 - 1610.606 Trevor Noah

So back then, was that like people sending... Just for shitty jokes or... Yeah, people...

0
💬 0

1616.767 - 1618.028 Jason Bateman

You know, we have fun, Trevor.

0
💬 0

1618.048 - 1623.51 Sean Hayes

We do. We just have fun. No, that was because... Wait, what was the question?

0
💬 0

1623.53 - 1626.511 Will Arnett

What were the threats about it? Will and Grace.

0
💬 0

1626.531 - 1641.837 Sean Hayes

Oh, no, yeah, they were written on... Yeah, people took the time to sit down. There's one... This wasn't a death threat, but one of the greatest letters we ever got was this woman wrote in to Will and Grace. Took the time, got a pen, paper, wrote it, got a stamp, mailed it. Like, remember, this was before the internet and everything.

0
💬 0

1641.857 - 1660.489 Sean Hayes

There's a lot of effort to really share with somebody how much you hate them. But this one woman wrote in and she said, you know, we're all going to hell. You should be ashamed for putting this on television. You are all horrible people, but I love the show. I just don't know what, I just don't like what it's about.

0
💬 0

1661.489 - 1661.929 Will Arnett

Oh, wow.

0
💬 0

1662.029 - 1663.49 Sean Hayes

And could you send me an A by 10?

0
💬 0

1663.83 - 1684.761 Will Arnett

Yeah. Can I get some tickets for the April 12th show? That's the craziest thing. That's so fucking crazy. I guess it stands to reason that you would get threats. I mean, do you get threats immediately upon doing it? I guess I'm sure that a lot of the threats were, we can all take our pick what they could be about. You're a lefty. Yeah. Right?

0
💬 0

1684.901 - 1696.888 Jason Bateman

You're a liberal or... Well, and also you're in, I mean, 2015, I mean, you were, the kerosene had been put on the dumpster and it was about to burst into flames. That's exactly it.

0
💬 0

1696.908 - 1704.193 Trevor Noah

12 months later. It was the beginning of Donald Trump and everything that America now lives in as a normal state.

0
💬 0

1704.893 - 1711.12 Jason Bateman

Oh, man. So that was the majority of your material. And so they're going after the person that's... I mean, think about that.

0
💬 0

1711.18 - 1730.961 Will Arnett

So you, you're right. You started, you came to America, as Jay says, right at the beginning of the, they were just putting the kerosene, the kindling on the dumpster fire that we all now live in. That's been your experience of America. Let me just say, we've had some good times here, dude. Yeah. I'm now amended with it.

0
💬 0

1731.121 - 1744.134 Will Arnett

If I get the time machine, what I'm doing is I'm grabbing Trevor and I'm taking him back to like the mid-90s into the mid-2000s because we had a lot of fun. It looked like a lot of fun. It really was. It looked like a lot of fun.

0
💬 0

1744.494 - 1748.195 Jason Bateman

I don't want you to get the wrong impression. Happy days are here again soon. I promise.

0
💬 0

1749.056 - 1760.86 Sean Hayes

It's also wild that people, instead of just not watching you or listening to this or watching that or whatever, they take the time to watch it and then comment on it. Just turn the channel.

0
💬 0

1760.88 - 1774.373 Trevor Noah

Instead of just turn the channel. Yeah, but you know, at the time, it was so hard launching The Daily Show that I actually preferred having those people than not. I was like, okay, we have these people.

0
💬 0

1774.393 - 1775.397 Jason Bateman

You've got an enemy.

0
💬 0

1775.758 - 1794.997 Trevor Noah

No, not even an enemy. I was just like, we have viewers. I was like, these people are passionately watching the show and we need every single person to watch. So there was actually one guy I reached out to. There was a guy who was tweeting vitriol at me on, you know, just on the daily. He was like, you know, you're a piece of trash and you'll never make it.

0
💬 0

1795.057 - 1815.752 Trevor Noah

And if I ever meet you in the streets, and I DM'd this guy and I said to him, hey man, I just really want to understand, like, why do you hate me so much? I've never met you. I've never said anything about you or your life. I'm just trying to understand this. And I've never seen a faster switch of tone. He immediately was like, oh, hey, dude. Oh, it's not personal and I have nothing against you.

0
💬 0

1815.772 - 1833.591 Trevor Noah

I just thought it was funny to pile on. And he said, in all honesty, I have nothing against you. I actually think you're quite funny, but I don't think you're going to succeed. I think the show will fail and you're going to crash and burn. And then I said to him, okay, let's make a deal. if I'm still on the air in six months, you'll stay on as a lifelong viewer.

0
💬 0

1833.951 - 1850.027 Trevor Noah

And then if I'm gone, I will retweet your tweet and I'll say you were right. And he was like, oh, deal. And then he was like, good luck, man. I'm wishing you the best. And then six months later, I DM'd him again. I was like, yo, are you still watching? And he's like, oh, the show's gotten so great. So, And you know what he made me realize?

0
💬 0

1850.067 - 1851.388 Sean Hayes

That's crazy.

0
💬 0

1851.468 - 1876.309 Trevor Noah

No, but you know what he made me realize? I'm honestly eternally grateful to him because he made me realize that most of, not all of, but most of the poisonous infighting that you have in America is due to the fact that most people are speaking past each other, not to each other and with each other. A hundred percent. Like people don't actually engage. People don't see each other as human beings.

0
💬 0

1876.329 - 1890.756 Trevor Noah

It's all a theoretical exercise. But you'll be surprised to find that most people, when you sit down with them and actually, if you're forced to have a type, like a conversation where you connect, people start to see each other as humans that exist beyond their political affiliation.

0
💬 0

1890.816 - 1893.898 Sean Hayes

And a lot of assumptions going on too. Always assuming.

0
💬 0

1893.938 - 1913.986 Trevor Noah

And it's just a game. It's like sports fans. I think American politics has become like sports where you say everything to the opposing fans. But you don't mean it, mean it, but you go like, this is the purpose of what we're doing. We're here to tell them that they need to die, and we want to kill their players, and we hate everything they do, and the ref is biased when he rules in their favor.

0
💬 0

1914.566 - 1918.648 Trevor Noah

But when you meet in a grocery store, then they're humans because they're doing the same thing.

0
💬 0

1918.688 - 1924.989 Jason Bateman

They were basically exaggerating to make a point, you know? But yeah, when you get face-to-face with it, they get a little bit more real.

0
💬 0

1925.029 - 1947.38 Will Arnett

Yeah, I mean, I hate... Manchester City as a football club. Wait, what? Yeah, I hate Man City. But then I also love Pep Guardiola, and I love Haaland, and I love Kevin De Bruyne. I've never met anybody who has a... Because I'm a Liverpool supporter, a massive Liverpool supporter.

0
💬 0

1947.4 - 1949.421 Trevor Noah

I'm a Liverpool supporter, but I don't hate Manchester City.

0
💬 0

1949.461 - 1950.662 Will Arnett

Just because they're going to beat us...

0
💬 0

1951.842 - 1966.909 Trevor Noah

Yeah, but I mean, they've spent the money, and it's like, I get annoyed, but I... You see, it's funny. For me, the rivalries are more games that I'll think of, but Manchester City, I find... My point was, I say I hate them, but then I like all the players on the team.

0
💬 0

1967.029 - 1988.042 Will Arnett

I like Pep Guardiola, I like Haaland, I like De Bruyne, I like Phil Foden, I like all their players, so I don't really hate them. But I have to because they're my... I do hate the Boston Bruins. That's a hockey team. That I do. I do hate the Boston Bruins. Fucking send me your letters. I don't give a shit. Fuck you. I fucking hate it more than you fucking... Like, hate me.

0
💬 0

1988.463 - 2004.258 Jason Bateman

Trevor, now, have you since now become... Is following politics a hobby for you now? Do you enjoy it? Now that you're out of there. Yeah, you don't need to be in the swamp anymore.

0
💬 0

2006.039 - 2032.384 Trevor Noah

So... I don't follow politics as a hobby. What I try to do is understand which conversations can exist beyond the noise. You know, I often try and explain to people when I'm having conversations with them is, So the most interesting thing about the US system for me is the fact that it leads people to believe that there are only two ways to do something.

0
💬 0

2033.546 - 2054.152 Trevor Noah

You know, it's Republican and it's Democrat. And I've never understood that framing, to be honest with you. I've never even understood how... how newspapers will report. And these are like distinguished newspapers. They'll write a story that leads with Democrats win with, and it's a law that's changed. But I go, no, that should just be the law has changed and that should be how you report it.

0
💬 0

2054.172 - 2054.252 Sean Hayes

Yeah.

0
💬 0

2054.853 - 2058.055 Trevor Noah

It shouldn't be that it's a win for somebody or a loss for somebody else.

0
💬 0

2058.095 - 2061.697 Sean Hayes

It's a lot of the media. It's a lot of the media, how they frame everything.

0
💬 0

2062.057 - 2074.765 Trevor Noah

So I follow it now to try and understand where the issue lies and the politics ends. Because issues are real. Politics are how we try and solve the issues. But politics is not real. It's not actually a real thing.

0
💬 0

2074.805 - 2088.854 Will Arnett

But Trevor, and I'm not being coy here at all. Maybe this is... I think you've probably noticed in this country, certainly, that there's not a lot of appreciation in any aspect of life for nuance in this country.

0
💬 0

2090.095 - 2091.676 Jason Bateman

You're either on this team or that team.

0
💬 0

2091.716 - 2101.043 Will Arnett

Yeah, and it's very binary, and it's always sort of a zero-sum game. That is part of the American experience. You win, you lose. There's no nuance. That is true.

0
💬 0

2101.083 - 2122.222 Trevor Noah

That is true. I will say, you know, if you want to liken it back to sports, I always say to my American friends, I go... I see why soccer was never the most popular game and might never be. It's because in soccer, we have a draw. We sometimes say, you know what? Neither team won, neither team lost. This was a great game. Everybody go home. It's winners and losers.

0
💬 0

2122.362 - 2132.231 Trevor Noah

And so if politics is also about winners and losers, then nobody wants to concede because it automatically means that they've lost, which isn't a good way to have politics.

0
💬 0

2132.291 - 2133.552 Jason Bateman

As opposed to compromise, right?

0
💬 0

2133.632 - 2153.329 Trevor Noah

Politics should never be about winning or losing. It should be about compromising and then, you know, understanding that the majority, it's even strange. Do you ever think about it? When you look at America's results, I'm always shocked at how states are called blue or red. And then you look at the number and it's like 51%. And people confidently say, well, that's a red state.

0
💬 0

2153.369 - 2156.892 Trevor Noah

And I go like, but it's 49% blue. Right.

0
💬 0

2157.012 - 2177.359 Will Arnett

Or vice versa. Everything's half and half. Yeah. Right. Everything's right in the middle. Yeah. Well, if you think, and this is true, I think, for politics in general, and so I don't mean to come off as completely naive, but the idea that the actual politics are more important than the policy is absurd, right? All of the politics is supposed to be a mechanism by which we sort of...

0
💬 0

2178.56 - 2192.669 Will Arnett

that sort of drives policy, right? And that should be what people are concerned about, what the actual issues are, and they're not. They're much more invested in the game of it, and as you said, the win or lose of the game.

0
💬 0

2193.169 - 2216.429 Trevor Noah

Yeah, but a lot of that I will blame, you know, to what you said, Sean, is like I think the media has to take a lot of blame for that because the media has enjoyed turning it into a game and the media has enjoyed turning it into a spectacle. And so if they reinforce that narrative, then I find lawmakers... You know, one of the most interesting experiences I had when I first came to America was...

0
💬 0

2217.79 - 2240.988 Trevor Noah

I went to New Hampshire for the primaries. And this is literally, I've been in America for barely a year. Now I'm in New Hampshire, you know, and Vermont and all of these places. And I will never forget seeing, there were two politicians who were, you know, on the stump and they were giving their speeches and it was vitriolic. And they were, you know, this person is going to destroy the country.

0
💬 0

2241.028 - 2249.513 Trevor Noah

They're going to do this, they... And then in the evening, I saw them at a diner and the two of them were sitting together laughing and they were like, how's your family? How's everything going?

0
💬 0

2249.533 - 2251.494 Sean Hayes

Since I was a kid, I don't understand that.

0
💬 0

2251.894 - 2270.303 Trevor Noah

In many ways, it's almost like wrestling. It's like American politics. You see these people in the ring and it's like, Triple H, I'm going to rip you limb from limb. And as a fan, you're like, yeah, kill him, kill him. And then only to find out that like your favorite wrestler who hates the other wrestler in your mind is actually great friends and is the godfather to their child.

0
💬 0

2270.963 - 2283.893 Trevor Noah

I think American politicians don't do the country a service. They do it a disservice by not showing everybody that they do get along, that they go out together, that they have meals, that they're friends, they're at each other's weddings.

0
💬 0

2284.214 - 2305.601 Sean Hayes

Also, I think language is important too. When, you know, whatever president, Republican or Democrat says, who's ever in office, they say, well, the Democrats thought blah, blah, blah, or the Republicans thought blah, blah, blah. And it's like, you have to say the Republicans in Congress feel this way or the Democrats in Congress. Because what happens is it generalizes everybody.

0
💬 0

2305.941 - 2313.844 Sean Hayes

Well, I'm a Democrat. Well, I'm a Republican. You know, now you're telling me that we all think that way? No, it's just the lawmakers think that way.

0
💬 0

2313.944 - 2335.19 Will Arnett

You know what I mean? And also think about the idea that, look, it's the spring of an election year. Of course, and again, at risk of sounding completely naive, of course they have to pit them against each other because they need to drive ratings because we know that all of it is driven by commerce. Everything in this country is driven by commerce.

0
💬 0

2335.63 - 2348.719 Will Arnett

And so if there's no race, if there's no, they have to say, so-and-so's leading by this. If the election were today, these are the weak spots. He's ahead. She's ahead. He's going to crush. He's not going to crush. They have to keep us in the game.

0
💬 0

2349.04 - 2350.781 Jason Bateman

Yeah, they just have to be more discerning.

0
💬 0

2351.061 - 2362.769 Will Arnett

Yeah, because they need us to watch the commercials in between. So if you really want to get mad at it, get mad at CNN and MSNBC and Fox and all of them because all they're doing is in service of commerce.

0
💬 0

2363.009 - 2379.9 Trevor Noah

That's it. Yeah, it's completely in service of commerce. If I break it down into three levels, I'd go, you know, on the media side, I wish they would stop turning it into the spectacle that they do, but they probably won't, as you say, because the money's there. Or that's what they want to get, you know, They turn it into a sport.

0
💬 0

2380.02 - 2382.161 Jason Bateman

Sports get the best ratings in this country.

0
💬 0

2382.381 - 2402.292 Trevor Noah

So if they can turn it into a football game, they'll do it. But on the ground as well, I think as people, that's something that I found strange coming to America is how people would say, I am a Democrat. I am a Republican. And I'll be like, what? What does that mean? Where I come from, people just talk about how they voted, but they are not the thing.

0
💬 0

2403.532 - 2423.747 Trevor Noah

And I think if you take yourself away from being the thing, you allow yourself the opportunity to either be disappointed by the thing or step away from the thing when it is necessary. Because you shouldn't be, I am a Liverpool supporter, is correct. We will go up and down with Liverpool. Whereas in politics, you should just say, I voted for this and then I voted against it.

0
💬 0

2424.028 - 2425.849 Trevor Noah

And it's like, I'm not that thing. No.

0
💬 0

2426.149 - 2438.259 Will Arnett

Well, imagine if you imagine we lived in a world where you can just all you did was you weren't voting. There were there was no such thing as a party and you just voted on issues. Yeah, right. We'll be right back.

0
💬 0

2441.262 - 2442.163 Jason Bateman

And now back to the show.

0
💬 0

2444.412 - 2451.494 Sean Hayes

Noah, so what about hosting? Like, do you still want to keep hosting? Is it something like, you're like, I did it, I'm moving on to something else? On Airbnb?

0
💬 0

2452.694 - 2452.974 Unknown

Oh, no.

0
💬 0

2454.535 - 2460.776 Sean Hayes

Or, like, would you, like, do you have aspirations to host the Oscars, the Emmy, like, award shows or anything like that?

0
💬 0

2460.816 - 2464.537 Jason Bateman

Well, yeah, the Grammys, how many years now, right?

0
💬 0

2464.717 - 2465.798 Trevor Noah

Oh, that's right. I forgot.

0
💬 0

2465.858 - 2467.858 Jason Bateman

MTV and... The Grammys has been fun.

0
💬 0

2467.978 - 2470.499 Trevor Noah

I've done the Grammys a few times now.

0
💬 0

2470.859 - 2482.039 Jason Bateman

Now, were you a huge music fan before that? You mean, was I human? That's a strange question. Who doesn't like music, Jason? No, but I mean, some people are obsessed with it.

0
💬 0

2482.079 - 2484.022 Will Arnett

Jason doesn't know what humans do, dude.

0
💬 0

2486.829 - 2493.931 Jason Bateman

Well, maybe a better question would be, has your passion for music increased since you've been behind the curtain?

0
💬 0

2494.692 - 2500.373 Sean Hayes

By the way, I apologize. Of course I've watched it on the Grammys. I completely forgot. No, no, no. You're fantastic. You know what?

0
💬 0

2500.413 - 2518.521 Trevor Noah

You can establish your mark earlier in the podcast. No, no, no. Don't do that to Sean, guys. Don't do that. I know what he means. And I'll tell you why, Sean. It's funny. I don't think the Grammys is the same as like the Emmys or the Oscars or any of those shows. Well, I'm an actor, so I'm like, I watch those more. Yeah, but also the Grammys is like hosting a concert.

0
💬 0

2519.361 - 2525.786 Trevor Noah

The Emmys and the Oscars and all these other awards, they do feel like an award show. The Grammys just feels to me like a concert.

0
💬 0

2525.806 - 2527.748 Jason Bateman

Performance. Yeah, that's true.

0
💬 0

2527.768 - 2547.102 Trevor Noah

That's great. I've definitely developed a greater appreciation for artists. Seeing them rehearse, seeing how hard it is to get everything right, seeing them do it live, that's what's definitely increased. And then also my palettes. Every time I'm at the Grammys, I discover a new artist that I now become a fan of. What about a full genre?

0
💬 0

2547.362 - 2549.703 Jason Bateman

Yeah, definitely. Like country. Are you a fan of country now?

0
💬 0

2549.783 - 2563.628 Trevor Noah

I listen to way more country now than I ever did. You know what I mean? Everybody, like the Luke Combs, you name it. I just got into it because you would hear the song so many times in rehearsal and you'd see how amazing it could be. And then you fall in love with it.

0
💬 0

2564.328 - 2567.549 Will Arnett

That Tracy Chapman performance. Oh, my God.

0
💬 0

2567.589 - 2568.609 Trevor Noah

I cried my eyes out.

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2569.29 - 2591.579 Will Arnett

I know. Incredible. I'm not a huge... A lot of the music of the Grammys is not really my taste generally. What do you mean? It's all kinds of music on the Grammys. No, but I'm such a, like, 90s indie rock fan. Oh, right. So they would have awarded your bands years ago. Yeah, if it was like Bill to Spill and Dinosaur Jr. and the Pixies, I would have been like, ah, great.

0
💬 0

2593.759 - 2601.221 Will Arnett

But then I watched that Tracy Chapman, and you just forget what an unreal fucking talent she is.

0
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2601.241 - 2611.904 Jason Bateman

Trevor, what is the phone number that you've gotten from hosting the Grammys all these years that you're most proud of? Which artist? What famous rocker do you now have on your phone?

0
💬 0

2612.204 - 2634.678 Trevor Noah

Oh, I don't have anybody's number, to be honest with you. You don't go, hey, hey, hey, it'd be great to hang out. I was in a band, you can have my number. I would gladly take your number. This is a strange thing to say, but like, so I always found it strange that people would try to be friends just because they're in a similar space. So I don't know how to explain it.

0
💬 0

2634.698 - 2636.259 Jason Bateman

You're famous, I'm famous, we should hang out.

0
💬 0

2636.359 - 2653.953 Trevor Noah

Yeah, but okay, so this is what would happen to me, all right? You would all probably understand this. I remember when I first came to America, and now I would get invited to events because, you know, part of the Daily Show, and you go to these events, and everyone would be like, oh, we should hang out. Take my number. Oh, my God, Trevor, we got to hang out sometime. We got to get a coffee.

0
💬 0

2653.973 - 2657.316 Trevor Noah

We got to get a coffee. This guy is great. Let me get your number.

0
💬 0

2657.516 - 2658.737 Unknown

Where are you? That's a good accent.

0
💬 0

2658.937 - 2674.913 Trevor Noah

I'm there all the time. We got to do it. And I would give people my number, and in my head I was like, wow, I'm making so many friends. These people are so friendly. This is amazing. And then I would hear nothing from them. I would message them. I would hear nothing. They wouldn't respond at all. People, by the way, people in Hollywood change their numbers all the time.

0
💬 0

2674.974 - 2697.008 Trevor Noah

Like I don't even know who, like everyone has like a new number all the time. And then what would happen was, this was my favorite, one of my favorite memories. I met somebody, and this has happened a few times. I met the same person at another event, maybe like a year later. And they're like, oh my God, Trevor, this is, oh man, how have you been? Congratulations. Man, we got to hang out.

0
💬 0

2697.248 - 2712.411 Trevor Noah

Let me get your number. Let me get, and I was like, I think you have my number. And they're like, no, no, no. No, I changed phones and I got a whole day. Didn't your number? I was like, my number didn't change. Like, no. And then I put my number in on their phone. And you know, when you type it in on the screen, then my name just popped up. And I was like, you have my number. I'm like, wait, what?

0
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2714.392 - 2717.274 Will Arnett

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then what did Justin Theroux do?

0
💬 0

2721.958 - 2738.132 Trevor Noah

Oh, let me tell you. Okay, I have the greatest Jason Bateman story, for me at least. For me at least. I don't know if you remember. This is easily, easily my favorite memory of you. It's also a horrific memory, but now I laugh at it.

0
💬 0

2738.192 - 2741.034 Jason Bateman

I can't remember yesterday, so chances are high. I was...

0
💬 0

2742.455 - 2766.369 Trevor Noah

So I was invited to a, it was a Netflix party before one of the Emmys. It was for like a whole bunch of nominees before the Emmys. And Ted Sarandos was hosting this event and everyone's gathered. And it was, I mean, it was star-studded. It was crazy. And you don't see these people all the time. That's the misconception everyone has is that if you're on the same platform, you just hang out.

0
💬 0

2766.389 - 2785.475 Trevor Noah

I was just standing there, you know. And I look across the garden where this event's being held and I see Jason. And I'm like, oh my God. And I've loved you forever. I go, you easily won like my favorite comedy performance. I mean, all of you are in different things. Like Sean, I used to watch Will and Grace with my mom.

0
💬 0

2785.515 - 2785.935 Sean Hayes

It's okay.

0
💬 0

2786.175 - 2786.795 Unknown

No, no, no, no.

0
💬 0

2787.295 - 2788.115 Jason Bateman

It's okay. Me a little bit more.

0
💬 0

2788.155 - 2797.418 Trevor Noah

Don't throw the compliments away. I mean it. Like literally the timing, the cadence, the everything. Will, everything you do on like BoJack Horseman. So I love comedy. I love the technique.

0
💬 0

2797.458 - 2798.878 Unknown

But last, last right was Sean and Will?

0
💬 0

2799.358 - 2800.879 Trevor Noah

Yeah, I mean this honestly.

0
💬 0

2800.899 - 2801.439 Unknown

Going forward.

0
💬 0

2801.519 - 2814.463 Trevor Noah

You're easily one of my favorite funny people ever. But at that time, Ozark was just, it was my life. It was the best anything I had seen that had flipped the whole genre of like, you know, drugs and everything.

0
💬 0

2814.503 - 2815.604 Will Arnett

One of my favorite comedies too.

0
💬 0

2817.544 - 2840.079 Trevor Noah

I thought it was very funny actually so I see you and you see me standing across the way and you look at me and you just gave me like a little eyebrow like hello and I was like oh damn okay and so I walked over to you And I said, hello, and you were very kind. You're like, hi, how are you? And I immediately went to, I was effusive. I said, I love everything you do.

0
💬 0

2840.119 - 2857.545 Trevor Noah

And I just, I went and I said, you did this. And I was like, I love game nights and I love this. And I was just listing everything because I love, I genuinely love them all. And, but then I said, I said to you, I said, oh, and most recently you crushed it. You know, I didn't think Ant-Man was going to be good. And it was phenomenal that you did it.

0
💬 0

2857.885 - 2896.941 Trevor Noah

And you listened to me break down the whole Ant-Man everything. And then you paused. And I swear it was like you had written this. Your face, you went like, huh. And he said, do you think that I am Paul Rudd? And I will never forget that moment. And I went, no, I thought that Paul Rudd was you. I gave him, but it's true. I was like, I gave him your performance is how good I think you are.

0
💬 0

2897.141 - 2900.183 Trevor Noah

Anything good he did, I was like, it should be Jason Bateman, I guess.

0
💬 0

2900.603 - 2903.325 Jason Bateman

I strive to be Paul Rudd.

0
💬 0

2903.405 - 2923.078 Trevor Noah

And we just stared at each other awkwardly for a moment. And you said, huh, did you come here because you thought I was someone else? And I said, no. But you said Ant-Man. And I said, I would rather say that I'm racist and you will look the same than admit that that happened. And then we just stood there awkwardly for a moment. And you were very nice.

0
💬 0

2923.098 - 2929.082 Trevor Noah

We just stood there and we… And I said, well, one day we'll meet again. Hopefully under different…

0
💬 0

2929.784 - 2935.128 Jason Bateman

And what I should have said is, don't worry, I'll never remember this because I know how to pour cement over bad memories.

0
💬 0

2937.089 - 2942.092 Will Arnett

JB, do you remember that? I do not. He doesn't remember anything. By the way, don't take it personally.

0
💬 0

2942.152 - 2952.359 Jason Bateman

All I know how to do is remember dialogue that my brain at an early age was formed into that being a one-trick. I'm a one-trick pony.

0
💬 0

2952.799 - 2953.719 Will Arnett

What about a Coke dealer's number?

0
💬 0

2956.442 - 2970.89 Jason Bateman

uh yeah yeah still do you remember that yeah you remember wait 27 years do you remember do you remember old dialogue though No, I have a great delete button too so that I have room on my drive for tomorrow. To not remember the other things.

0
💬 0

2971.271 - 2975.532 Will Arnett

He's one of the all-time great dialogue memorizers.

0
💬 0

2975.632 - 2986.235 Jason Bateman

But I'll go to a movie with somebody and two days later I'll talk to that person and go, you know what I saw a couple days ago? You've got to see this movie. I've done it a dozen times.

0
💬 0

2986.395 - 2991.597 Sean Hayes

What does that mean? I do that too sometimes. I'll do it to Scotty. I'm like, I was at this movie. He's like, I was with you.

0
💬 0

2992.202 - 3002.77 Jason Bateman

I mean, it's terrible, but maybe it's good because I'm with somebody who feels so comfortable. I mean, it blocks out the bad memories, right? Early onset? That could be. It could be just a trace.

0
💬 0

3003.13 - 3013.576 Will Arnett

Why are you saying early? Do you think you're young? I'm not that young. Did you just slide a fucking compliment into yourself? Oh, here's another one.

0
💬 0

3013.596 - 3028.32 Trevor Noah

Here's another one before you carry on. This was, can I just say, so, you know, obviously I'm a huge fan of the podcast and I understand the format, but here's the thing. I didn't know that the surprise guest was really a surprise thing.

0
💬 0

3028.68 - 3032.661 Jason Bateman

Yeah. Okay. We didn't know you were going to come on. We've only broken on a couple times.

0
💬 0

3032.941 - 3039.948 Trevor Noah

Yeah, so we were at the Vanity Fair Oscars party. Right. Yeah. And I saw you.

0
💬 0

3040.349 - 3040.709 Jason Bateman

Yeah.

0
💬 0

3040.809 - 3057.706 Trevor Noah

Yeah, and Will walks by. Will walks by. You walked straight to me, Will, but you walked to me with the confidence of somebody who knows that I'm coming on to the podcast. Yeah. And you were like, hey. And then you said, yo, I'm so excited. And I didn't know what, I was like, oh. And then I was like, I'm so excited to chat to you.

0
💬 0

3057.746 - 3071.499 Trevor Noah

And then as I said that, Jason was behind you staring at me like I had killed his whole family. He couldn't hear anything, by the way. He was just staring at me. And I said, I'm so excited to chat to you about Formula One. And then we started talking about Formula One.

0
💬 0

3072.646 - 3082.593 Will Arnett

Interesting. It was funny that you said that. Now that I remember you saying that, and I was thinking like, man, he's really into Formula 1. He's really honed in on me on the Formula 1, and he's been looking.

0
💬 0

3083.213 - 3085.395 Trevor Noah

I was panicking. I was like, oh, I screwed the whole thing up.

0
💬 0

3085.555 - 3086.015 Will Arnett

It was a save.

0
💬 0

3086.095 - 3091.879 Trevor Noah

And then I was like, oh, let's just get into Formula 1. And you did look at me like, man, this guy really went deep into Formula 1 in the middle of an Oscars party.

0
💬 0

3092.139 - 3093.78 Will Arnett

Right out of the gate.

0
💬 0

3094.02 - 3105.847 Trevor Noah

And then you walked away, and then Jason came up to me, and he said, please, you didn't say anything. You don't fuck this up. You're the surprise guest. You don't. I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. And then he walked away.

0
💬 0

3106.027 - 3127.613 Will Arnett

Did you say that to him, JB? Yeah. It's funny. I had somebody else at the thing as well that same night after you, Trevor. I won't say it is because I don't know whose guest it is. Come up to me. And it's somebody I've known a long time. And I go, what's up, dude? And he goes, I'm coming to talk to you on your stupid podcast. And I go, well, I didn't know that asshole. Oh, God.

0
💬 0

3127.913 - 3129.534 Will Arnett

And he's like, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

0
💬 0

3131.381 - 3133.623 Jason Bateman

Rockwell did that, too. Poor guy.

0
💬 0

3133.863 - 3134.224 Will Arnett

Oh, yeah.

0
💬 0

3134.284 - 3139.008 Sean Hayes

Rockwell did... Do you like getting gussied up like that, Trev, and going out to those kind of events?

0
💬 0

3139.028 - 3144.473 Will Arnett

By the way, Trevor, let me just tell you something. You looked really good on Sunday. You looked very sharp.

0
💬 0

3144.853 - 3146.154 Trevor Noah

Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

0
💬 0

3146.194 - 3150.758 Jason Bateman

I've never heard that term, gussied up. Gussied up. Yeah, we got some beauties here in this country.

0
💬 0

3150.778 - 3152.88 Will Arnett

You ever been to Illinois? No?

0
💬 0

3153.18 - 3171.927 Trevor Noah

Okay. No, no, I've been everywhere actually, yeah. No, I do enjoy it. Yeah, I mean, I went to, so in South Africa, in school, you wear school uniform your whole life. So I actually like dressing up like that because I feel like it's no stress. I go, yeah, you put on the pants, you put on the jacket and you know you're doing it right. And then you have a good time.

0
💬 0

3171.947 - 3175.928 Jason Bateman

Women have it so tough. Yeah, they do. They gotta like find the gown and then those shoes all night.

0
💬 0

3175.948 - 3180.57 Trevor Noah

Yeah, I wear comfortable shoes. My toes are all individually spaced out. It's wonderful. Yeah.

0
💬 0

3181.09 - 3191.24 Will Arnett

You know, I think that when you said women have it so tough, they were expecting something a little more than the shoes and the gown, but okay. Well, it's childbirth. This is how we get into it, right? This is how we get into it. This is the entree. The stuff they've got to deal with.

0
💬 0

3191.34 - 3201.009 Will Arnett

Trevor, I want to, you know, I brought it up at the start of talking about Africa, and I want to know how often you get back to Africa. I'm so, I've never been. I've never been either. I want to go. And I feel like I've, Depriving myself.

0
💬 0

3201.069 - 3209.413 Trevor Noah

I really want to go this is the same thing This is the same thing I get in most of my hate mail. When are you going back to Africa?

0
💬 0

3209.833 - 3217.756 Will Arnett

Let me just add that can I go with you I want to go because you're kind of like the dude I Do you get back off that I go back all the time

0
💬 0

3217.796 - 3244.973 Trevor Noah

time yeah i'm there all the time i go especially like since i left the daily show i get to go back a lot more you know i spend time with my mom spend time with family i'm i'm there i would say i'm there like every two two months two really that's so nice that's great yeah i love how long a flight 16 hours from new york and then 20 it becomes like a weird 25 ish hour journey from um from l.a from l.a wow so yeah it's 16 hours direct south african airways right yeah

0
💬 0

3245.373 - 3252.999 Trevor Noah

No, no, no. Actually, United is the only airline that flies there now. Really? Yeah. So, you know, life giveth and life taketh away.

0
💬 0

3254.82 - 3265.008 Jason Bateman

And America, your new adopted home, generally, what's your take on it? Oh, I love this place. Do you like it? Do you have favorite places?

0
💬 0

3265.028 - 3287.702 Trevor Noah

Oh, I love this place. So here's the thing, yeah. Here's the thing about America is... I think, again, you see nuance is maybe what is lacking sometimes. I think people take for granted that you can live in a place where you find it both amazing and at many times disappointing, depending on what you're experiencing of it. Yeah.

0
💬 0

3287.842 - 3307.108 Trevor Noah

You know, people sometimes walk up to me in the streets and they'll be like, you hate America, you piece of trash. Why don't you leave? And I'm like, who said I... I would not live anywhere I hate. Let's start with that. Secondly, I genuinely find a lot of America amazing. And I find... It's the optimism that is etched into the very fabric of the country that I find amazing.

0
💬 0

3307.128 - 3318.273 Trevor Noah

You know, it's an amazing country where black people at a time when they had no rights believed that there was a path for them to get equal rights. Even that is a strange level of optimism that I think is beautiful and profound.

0
💬 0

3318.573 - 3320.094 Will Arnett

Yeah, considering how they were living.

0
💬 0

3320.294 - 3322.256 Trevor Noah

Yeah, that's exactly my point.

0
💬 0

3322.796 - 3328.08 Jason Bateman

It's an incredibly ambitious and productive... Yes, it has that.

0
💬 0

3328.28 - 3348.57 Trevor Noah

And I think it's a wonderful trait to hold on to and to never lose. And so while America has many faults, other countries have many. I travel all the time, so... I'm under no illusion. I don't think of America as best or worst. I just think every place has the issues that it is dealing with at the time that it's dealing with them.

0
💬 0

3348.59 - 3359.993 Trevor Noah

There's something I've always loved about Americans and America as a place and how different each state and each city is. I'm eternally grateful to be here.

0
💬 0

3360.253 - 3362.075 Jason Bateman

You're a West Coast guy or an East Coast guy?

0
💬 0

3362.796 - 3381.614 Trevor Noah

I split it. I find the East Coast is great for your mind. The West Coast is great for your body. And I mean your body, not physically, but just like, I feel like you breathe a little more. You sleep better. You eat better. It just has a calming effect on you. But the East Coast is great to get your brain just like really stimulated and going.

0
💬 0

3381.894 - 3398.745 Will Arnett

Yeah, I agree with you. And I moved here when I was 20 from Canada, so it wasn't that far. But I do agree that there's so many great things. And I give this country a lot of shit, but I've been here a long time. And there's so many great things about this country, and I agree with you.

0
💬 0

3399.665 - 3406.729 Will Arnett

But it's important for us to point out this stuff, you know, to be honest about the shortcomings because it's the only way. Yeah, and to care for it.

0
💬 0

3406.749 - 3420.916 Trevor Noah

Well, yeah. You've got to think of America like a Boeing airplane. You should appreciate the fact that it can fly and the fact that it does is pretty amazing. I mean, the fact that this tin can is floating in the sky at 40,000 feet, that's pretty amazing. That's wild.

0
💬 0

3421.656 - 3429.46 Trevor Noah

But if you stop paying attention to it and you don't try and constantly improve it, then the doors might fall off and the landing gears might fail.

0
💬 0

3430.921 - 3451.671 Will Arnett

And the wheels fall off, and it also inexplicably will lose power when it's traveling from Australia to New Zealand and fall 500 feet in a second. The point is, I get what you're saying, but it's like sex, too. It's like even when it's bad, it's still sex, right? Guys, are we saying that? Sure, yeah. Are we going to go with that? I mean, is that the last thing we're going to get Trevor?

0
💬 0

3451.691 - 3462.856 Jason Bateman

We can probably workshop that one a little bit after we're done. I'll need to digest that one. Trevor, you are nine minutes over your obligated time, and I apologize for that. We love you. We thank you.

0
💬 0

3462.896 - 3470.002 Will Arnett

What a fucking delight. What an absolute delight. This is so great. Let me get your number. Let's hang out. We should do that. I'll let you know when I'm in.

0
💬 0

3470.042 - 3478.271 Trevor Noah

No, but actually, because you're a Liverpool fan and an F1 fan, we actually should hang out. We can just watch the things, and then even if we say nothing, we had a good time.

0
💬 0

3478.291 - 3483.196 Will Arnett

He's not a bad man. We actually should, and I actually will do it. I actually will. I like that.

0
💬 0

3483.477 - 3498.653 Jason Bateman

Thank you. All right. Thank you, sir. Hopefully I see you again soon. Until then, thank you. Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. God bless. This is really cool. Yeah, thank you, Trevor. Nice to get to know you.

0
💬 0

3499.794 - 3503.297 Trevor Noah

In Africa, we say God bless and may Simba always be by your side.

0
💬 0

3503.917 - 3505.74 Jason Bateman

Simba. That's exactly what I was thinking.

0
💬 0

3506.22 - 3511.488 Will Arnett

Simba. I feel like he's kidding, but I'm going to take him at his word. I'm going to take him at his word.

0
💬 0

3513.931 - 3514.352 Jason Bateman

Thank you.

0
💬 0

3514.372 - 3516.194 Will Arnett

Thank you. Thanks, Trev. See you in Joburg.

0
💬 0

3516.675 - 3526.883 Jason Bateman

Have a great rest of the day. Thanks, Trevor. Bye. Bye, buddy. Well, that, you know, listen, I'll tell you what. Our best guest at times.

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💬 0

3526.903 - 3538.43 Will Arnett

I really like that Trevor Noah. I really like him. Cool it. Cool it. No, I know. I really like him. You were spoken for, and so is he all day. No, I know. I think that he's a special dude. I really like him. He's got a great vibe. Yeah, so smart.

0
💬 0

3538.45 - 3544.794 Sean Hayes

Like, I didn't know anything about him. I just thought I was a fan. Apologize. Yeah, I apologize to him.

0
💬 0

3544.934 - 3550.497 Jason Bateman

But he's super smart. I love talking to him so much. We didn't even get to his podcast on Spotify.

0
💬 0

3550.517 - 3550.878 Sean Hayes

What podcast?

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💬 0

3551.658 - 3576.545 Jason Bateman

His podcast on Spotify is called What Now? Okay? What Now? What Now? What Now? What Now? And that's on Spotify. And he's on tour right now, like all over the world. And tickets are on sale through November. So if you're in Singapore, Stockholm, Copenhagen, France, Germany, Rotterdam, Auckland, Melbourne. I mean, the guy is hopping all over.

0
💬 0

3576.565 - 3599.939 Will Arnett

He's like a real international superstar. Yeah, yeah. Comedy superstar. The real deal. Because most of the comedians that we know who are our friends who we adore, but they're all going to fucking Denver and Omaha and shit, right? Like a bunch of fucking ding-dongs, right? But then you got Trevor Noah and he's in Singapore. I mean, all our fucking stupid American comedian friends can suck it.

0
💬 0

3601.019 - 3606.741 Will Arnett

Trevor's out in the world. Places, right? Sophisticated. He's sophisticated.

0
💬 0

3606.841 - 3622.121 Sean Hayes

Cool shit. Yeah, I like talking to people. I learn so much just from a quick hang like that. I've also been thinking about that city he performed at recently. Do you guys remember the name of that city? Oh, here comes a buy.

0
💬 0

3622.221 - 3624.941 Will Arnett

Are you trying to wrap it up already? We barely talked about him.

0
💬 0

3624.981 - 3631.143 Sean Hayes

What do you want to say more? I love him. He's super smart. I want him to come back so I can learn more. He's excited about his buy. Let him get to it.

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💬 0

3631.183 - 3632.323 Jason Bateman

What were you talking about, Sean?

0
💬 0

3632.383 - 3638.845 Sean Hayes

Well, it's a place where a lot of rich people live. Where's that? Dubai!

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0
💬 0

3654.002 - 3662.81 Will Arnett

SmartList is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Bennett Barbico, Michael Grant Terry, and Rob Armjarff.

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