Untuck your button-down; it’s Nate Bargatze. We discover the wonders of Magic, the Easter Bunny, a KFC-catered family reunion, and an elevator in the ocean. You can’t take your eyes off a mime… it’s an all-new SmartLess. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.
Do you want anything? One second, I just want to... Do you want something? Okay. Okay. Can I get one crispy chicken? Two crispy chicken for you, because I don't know... You want two for yourself. Okay, no judgment. That's fine. And ice cream. Do you guys even serve... You know what? Do you mind if we just do this after? Welcome, it's an all-new Smart List.
We were just talking about Shawshank and I was going to say to Will, Jay before he came on, that my philosophy in life is kind of... Oh, this is good. Hang on. No, this is good. This is good. You'll like it.
Everybody pull over and get out the pen. By the way, this is Shawshank Redemption, I think.
Shawshank Redemption.
For Tracy.
So the end of the movie... So the whole movie, Morgan Freeman is talking about like... You know, he goes in front of the, what is it called, the panel or whatever, the people who kind of, the board. Parole board. Yeah, and he's the parole board. And he's like, he tells them what they think they want to hear. He's like, no, I've been, you know, reformed. I'm good. I've learned my lesson.
And they always deny his parole. And then at the end of the movie, he finally just is like, you know what, fuck it. This is who I am. You people are crazy. I didn't learn anything, blah, blah. And then that's when he gets released. That's it. That's my philosophy for life.
And that's what full release comes from honesty. Well, two ways.
Sorry. So everybody go ahead and put your car back in drive and toss that paper either out the window, if you still have an ashtray in the car, use that. Because we really didn't get an end to it.
It's nice that Sean's philosophy of life is like, don't try to be something you're not. Yeah, exactly.
Right. I agree with you. Authenticity is a thematic that I'm on a project that I'm working on right now. That's the theme of the thing.
Oh, very good. It's a great evergreen. Authenticity. Hey, Jason. Yeah, hi. Why did the man fall down the well? Oh, boy. Because... He didn't see that well? That's exactly right.
Wait, Willie, you got, when we had Jordan Peele on his film, Nope, I always just thought it was just a fun way to say, yeah, no, I'm not comfortable with flying saucers, says the main character, and this shit freaks me out. But it's actually an acronym for?
It's an acronym. Well, he said it's an acronym. And I just went, and I thought about it for two seconds, and I went, not of planet Earth. Not of planet Earth. I remember the look on his face. He was a little mad, I think.
Well, no, what you were seeing was the same look that I had, which is a total shock at your level of intelligence.
Yeah, just like that was mine too.
Stunning surprise.
That's what hurt me the most was the stunning, the stunned look on everybody's face when I do something. Well, we're going to have a stunned look at your guest when he comes on. Well, he's going to have a stunned look at Sean.
Oh, sorry, Sean. Did you have a lunch?
He's going to have a stunned look when he heard your joke, for sure, because he tells jokes for a living. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Here we go. And he doesn't just tell jokes. Man, this guy tells jokes. This son of a gun. This son of a gun, and that's kind of the language that he would use, too, son of a gun.
Dax Shepard's coming back.
He, Dax does love Son of a Gun. He does. This guy uses, I don't know, there's something about his, everything that he does, his delivery, his turn of phrase, the things he talks about, the way he does it. A lot of people call him the nicest guy in stand-up. I think of him as just the funniest dude I've seen in such a long time.
And I remember the first time I heard about him was through our old friend, Greg Garcia. Yeah, and Greg was like, Greg reached out to me. He's like, you have to have this guy on, blah, blah, blah. And I made some glib remark. He's like, you're going to regret it. I go, I think he's hilarious. Relax, Greg. And then, JB, you and I had the pleasure of meeting him really, really briefly.
I'm going to make you repeat the glib remark right in front of him.
We met him really briefly up at, last year, up at Pebble Beach. And he's as nice as he is funny, and it's all legit. I love this guy. He's so, so funny. I love Ray Romano. I love the Tennessee kid. I love the Tennessee kid. I love his new special Hello World on Amazon. He's about to go on tour in a new one. Guys, it's none other than the hilarious Nate Bergazzi. Nate Bergazzi! Even better.
I was ready for Ray. I love Nate Bergazzi.
I'll get Ray.
Oh, how great. Nate, it's good to see you again.
Good to see you, Sean. Hey, just a little fun note, never seen Shawshank, so... Well, you're young.
You're too young for it. You know, it's before your time.
Wait, wait, how old... I'm 44. I should have... He's pretty young. You know what, Nate? I didn't see Shawshank until I was 45. Oh, I'll do it next year. Anyway, Nate Bargatze. Nate. Dude. Nate, this is really nice. Great to see you again, because we did meet. We did meet up at Pebble.
Yep. Do you live in a nice house or are you in a nice hotel room? Where are you?
In a hotel room. I'm in Syracuse.
Okay. Working?
I got a show in Syracuse. This is... Can't make it here. Can't make it anywhere, you know?
That's what they say.
They don't... That's what they say.
I like... Nate, I like that Sean... You said, I'm in Syracuse. Sean goes, working?
Nah. He's just... He's just hanging out with the orange men.
This is the vacations I can afford in Syracuse. He goes, it's nice. We took a bus, though. But it's... You know...
We spent on the hotel room.
Yeah, everything went to this. My family of 30 is right off camera. They're just right there. I said, if y'all talk during this, I will kill y'all.
When you are traveling around and you're doing these shows, what size is your group footprint? What's your posse size?
Hmm. Uh, we have, uh, probably like 10 guys. Uh, cause I bring, uh, four openers. Actually tonight, we got a surprise opener. He won't be here till later. Uh, Jimmy Fallon. Fallon is coming to the show. Oh, that's great. He's going to jump on the bus.
Where do I know him? Tell me what we would know him from.
That movie... Taxi. Pitch Fever. Taxi. Pitch Fever.
With Queen Latifah.
Yes, I remember Taxi.
Jimmy right now, by the way, he's hearing this. He's sharpening his knife hearing us say this.
Well, Nate, I have to say this. We developed the show together years ago. What? And you were very successful then. But to see you over the years, this kind of like... And then SNL, and then like, it's so exciting to finally be like, yes, this guy has been brilliant, has always been brilliant, and now more and more people get to see it.
And you sell, Nate, you sell out arenas like 20,000 at a clip, which is just unbelievable. And on top of this, and I'm gonna say this, and I really, and I've said it a bunch since it aired, when you were on SNL, your sketch, your George Washington sketch, is to me, just in my opinion, That was hysterical. the funniest SNL sketch I've seen in 15 years. I totally agree with that.
Oh, wow, I'm going to look that up. I totally agree with that. It is remarkable. Now, your TV just went on, which tells me that you're bored.
Yeah, I don't know why I turned it on. The family's bored. The 30 men are getting itchy. There's no one in here. It's just you and Jim Benheim, right?
Is that his name? You may turn it off, or does it matter?
No, no, it's giving me something to watch.
But you have, to echo what Sean's saying, you have just kind of finally, thankfully, the rest of America is just like... understand what an awesome, awesome, hilarious dude you are. So how do you start? You're the Tennessee kid. You're from Old Hickory, Tennessee. Am I right about that?
Yes. Old Hickory. Yeah, Old Hickory.
Is it next to New Hickory? No, New's a little bit farther. Was it ever New Hickory?
No, we stayed old. He's got this great joke in his new special on Amazon Prime where he says, I'm from Old Hickory. It's where Andrew Jackson's from. And people are like, he wasn't a good guy. And Nate goes, well, we didn't know him that well, but we didn't know him at all. It's a hilarious joke.
But Nate, talk to me about when you were a kid and stuff. Did you always into comedy? Did you watch SNL? What were your inspirations?
That's what I was thinking. That's what I was getting to. How did you start?
I just got there fast enough. My dad's a magician. What? And does comedy.
Mine too. Mine can disappear in the drop of a hat.
Sean Hayes, you are talk show quick.
Get out of here. Sorry, Nate. Thanks, you guys. Keep going. No, I mean, I grew up around that. I mean, so that was like, you know, I was funny, but then also growing up around, you know, my dad being a magician. You learned patter. Yeah. It just kind of leads you to it, I guess.
Wait, wait, wait. So, Nate, so you grew up, your dad's a magician. He obviously loved you. Sorry, Sean. And he, I mean, to the extent that he wanted to stick around.
I'm friends with Sean's dad.
Oh, so you know where he is. Yeah.
Yeah, he's a pretty good dude. I don't know the whole backstory, but I just know from what R hanging out is.
He's got no tread left on his tires, but he's a good guy.
He texts you a pin to his location.
So what was that like growing up with your dad being a magician? That's pretty rad.
An illusionist.
Yeah, yeah, it was the best. It is, you know, I don't know if I even understood it. Like, I'm sure, I think of it like my daughter and I'm sure your kids, like, it doesn't seem not normal. Like, it just felt like, it's like, that's all I ever knew. And it wasn't until you got older that you're like, yeah, dude, nobody's dad's a magician. Yeah, yeah.
Start saying you don't know when you're asked what your dad does. Right.
Yeah. So he would make a living doing it? I mean, I have people do magic, like magicians would show me magic tricks. I've just seen them all too. And I just, I'm just not a good, I'm not a good person to perform for because I'm just like, all right. You know, it's like, is this your card? You're like, it's always mine. It's always my card. It's always been my card.
Every time I see magic, every time I see magic, I freaking love it. And I'll bet everybody listening loves it. I mean, how can you not love when you see a magic trick? I mean, a good one, if it's convincing. But I never think about it. I never, and I always make fun of it when I hear about it. It's like you hear about mimes. But you know what? You can't take your eyes off a mime or a magician.
It gets a bad rap. You can't take your eyes off of my mind. Yeah, that's the quote of the day.
Wait, so Nate, so your dad, Sean was going to ask this, so your dad made a living as a magician.
He did. He was a teacher, too. Like, so he had a day job, and then he would do that, and then we were always in Nashville, and so he's just always done it. And I mean, he's very successful. He's very known in the magic world. He comes with me and opens for me a lot on the road.
No way.
And he will do these shows, and... You know, it's every little boy's dream to travel to your dad when you're 44 years old. So you go, got a little CPAP machine hooked up in a tour bus. It's a good time.
You got some ramps on the side of that stage?
Yeah. I mean, we had our bus parked out one time, and it was my dad, my mom, and my aunt. And I was like, people probably go by this tour bus, and they're like, it's pretty rocking in there. And I mean, we got, it's lights off, quiet, just the roar of machines keeping everybody alive.
And the smell of liniment.
Yeah. Wait, so did you ever perform in the magic shows with your dad? I did some, yeah. I would help him with magic.
You ever get cut in half?
No, no, we didn't ever do that. He never did that, go that far. He did Sleight of Hand. A lot of Sleight of Hand, and he does comedy with it. Oh, it's my favorite. Yeah.
So then when you, what age were you when you were, like, actually kind of to what Jason, you kind of alluded to, but did you start just, like, being a wiseass on the side of your dad's stage while he was doing magic? Like, is that how stand-up started for you?
Uh... I think it was just being funny. We would, like, I remember seeing stand-up. It was just trying to make people laugh. I don't think I ever really made fun of anybody.
Right.
But it was like I would make fun of myself a lot, which is what I do now in my comedy show. Yeah, it's the best. You'd be doing stuff like that, making fun of me. He had, I mean, one time, I've talked about this in a special on one of them, but it was like he brought the Easter Bunny home when I was... Like six. He was at a mall doing a show, and the Easter Bunny needed a ride home.
And my dad goes, I'll give you a ride home if you swing by my house. And so I remember the Easter Bunny, we had like, my parents had this old red Mazda stick shift, you know, and the Easter Bunny's head was bent to the side because his head couldn't fit in the car.
Sure.
So he was just, he was sitting like this. And then he got out, and I met the Easter Bunny, and then my dad... Drove the Easter Bunny home.
So that started the Easter Bunny.
That was the trajectory. I go, if I can beat that guy, then maybe I can make it.
Now, what was your mom's attitude on her husband's career?
My parents have been together since seventh grade. And they, my mom's very funny. But she worked at a bank. I mean, she's just been, I mean, it's just stuff. There's like, growing up, it's buying, you know, she has to go, my dad would be like, go to the store, I need you to buy 12 lemons. And he has to buy for like his magic. are a bunch of newspapers from that day.
It's like a bunch of random, and it's just normal conversation. You're just like, it's a Tuesday. You're just trying to grab some bread, milk, and 30 oranges, and then you get on out of there.
And handkerchiefs in six colors.
He's got a lot of shows this week. It's just stuff like that. That's cool.
Wait, wait. So, Nate, so I want to kind of get, again, we're the worst interviewers on the planet. We were just voted worst ever interviewers. We nailed it. Of all time. Yeah. But I want to go back because we, again, because you play these huge arenas and it's amazing. I don't know if I've ever seen a comic so comfortable.
You make it so intimate, even though you're playing a huge... There's something about it that makes it so personal and you're so organic. Yeah, you draw us in as opposed to ask for... And we're talking about authenticity. You're very authentic. But that feels like when you started, you must have started in clubs, like in smaller venues, right? Like most comics, I imagine.
Oh, yeah. So I moved to Chicago first for a couple years. And then I moved to New York. And I was in New York for the most, for like eight and a half years. And so I did all the clubs and all the, like, going up every single night. I performed for one guy once. Oh, my God. No way. Like, he wouldn't leave. We tried to get him to leave, and he's like, nah, it's all right.
And we're like, well, we don't think it's all right. He really wasn't about him. You're like, I don't want to stand up in front of a guy. Right. regularly up in front of four people, five, six, like, I mean, six people was like, got pretty good show going on. You know, you were excited about six people.
No way.
Yeah. So you just get used to just being in these kind of like, you know, it takes a long time before you're in front of like an actual paying crowd that's
Good. But what does that do for you rhythm-wise, et cetera, when you're just doing six people?
Well, I had to learn to get people into my rhythm very quickly. So since I talk slower and I'm from the South and all this, I had to figure out... Because I would follow high-energy acts, and then I'd come up and I'm like, well, I got to... come up with a joke or I got to say something.
I just need you to hear my voice for a second so you can go like, all right, readjust and be like, now we're in this rhythm and then get into the first kind of, you know, come up with a good like opening little thing or whatever and just get rolling.
You know what always blows my mind about stand-ups though? Like how you can just walk around the stage for two hours And always have something to talk about. Like how do you, is it like a monologue you memorize? Or like how can you just go up and speak funny for two hours straight?
Yeah, Sean, where do you get a load of her? He's going to love show business. He's going to love it. Two-thirds of the planet is water. No. There's a couple of polls.
No, you know what I mean? That always blows my mind. Obviously you had material that you work on, but do you ever like... There's your answer. Go up and you're like, oh my God, I don't know what subject to talk about next. Like the flow of it. Well, I don't go up.
Yeah, I go up prepared. I mean, I can't do the other. I can't really do like crowd work and go up and stuff.
He's not freestyling, bro. He's been working on it for months.
Nate, do you ever switch the order based on audience?
Oh, yeah. This new hour, I've switched it a ton. It's worked because now I'm opening on a joke that I've closed on. So it's great to be opening on a joke that I've actually had the energy and the rhythm of a closer, and then you just move it up, and now it's the front. And you're doing those decisions on the fly. Yeah, you just fill it out. It's kind of like a song.
I'm in love with stand-up right now. I love it so much. The way I've looked at writing, it's a movie. So I'm the main character of this movie. And I'm telling the story. There's a...
you know of reason for be saying all this stuff and everything leads into the other thing yeah so you want to make it where people don't realize you're into another joke but in my head i could be on like joke five right but you're trying i'm trying to make it where like you know and then that's how you remember it because the only way you know if you're talking about like riding a car and then you're like my wife bought a car well now that's the only thing i could go into right right and we will be right back
And now back to the show.
Who was your main inspiration as far as developing that style of telling stories as opposed to jokes? Was it like a George Carlin? Because I seem to remember he was kind of like that too, right?
Yeah, well, Cosby was one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you go watch his old stuff, it's very storytelling, all that kind of stuff. I'm a big Seinfeld fan. Seinfeld was... He was... I kind of think... Because I always looked at it like I tell stories, but in a joke form.
Like, so it's, I mean, I try to never be too far from the laugh because the farther you are from the laugh, the bigger the laugh has to be. And I don't want to put that much pressure on a laugh. So if I can just kind of keep it going and let it build, it's like, you know, it doesn't, you're just not putting the weight of the world on this.
You're like, because if you go silent too long, I mean, there's a point where you're like, well, this joke better be unreal.
Sean tried stand-up, and we won't get to his opening joke, but he started so far from the laugh, and then he never got even to the same area code as the laugh. You know what I mean? Like, he never had actual direct sight. on the laugh. They never got a clean look at it. It turned into a lecture.
And there's no, you're like, no, he's supposed to go, well, he'll never get there now.
Even with a series of mirrors, he couldn't see the laugh. It was so obscured.
That's how I drive around town. I only take right-hand turns. But Nate, biggest bombing story? Like, did you just like, oh my God, this is the worst, like,
Yeah, yeah, there's a bunch. I mean, you'd blame it on, I had one one time, I thought it was the shirt I wore, and so I threw that shirt away. I had a button-down shirt, and I tucked it in, and I've never done that since. For real? Yeah, I was like, it wasn't me, I was just like, this shirt, this guy.
Couldn't have been the material, yeah. This fucking shirt is killing me.
What is this guy's shirt? What is this guy's deal? I've done a cruise ship.
Say no more.
I won a contest and your prize was to set your career back five years and do cruises. And so I go out and I'm doing it. And you got to do like... you got to do a bunch of shows. So you do 30 clean, 30 dirty. I never had dirty. So it's like, I couldn't even, and then you would do one, another show. So you needed honest, because sometimes these people would come back and watch multiple shows.
So you needed to have, you know, two hours of material or do crowd or be able to mess with the crowd or something. And I remember we go up and you would do one show at the beginning of it. You do like five minutes each. And it's kind of just like it's in the big theater. And you're kind of just letting the crowd know we're comedians. We got a show back here, blah, blah.
So the other guy just was great and knew how to like he shined a fly shot on the crowd, like just knew how to like really play with the crowd.
Always works.
And he was like, come to my shows. Every show is different. And he made a big announcement how they're all different. And then I went up and I said, I go, come to one. It may be the other one, but the other one will be the same. I was like, do not come to all my shows. Most will be the same. I don't have enough material to have them all be different. So you can go to his shows.
They will be different. Mine will be... And then I went and did a show and... I started it, and they didn't laugh, and I was like, oh, these people have been to every show. And I'm not a crowd work guy, and I'm like, so what do you do, man? And some guy's like, he's an oil rigger in the ocean. It's actually a pretty crazy job, and I was like, that's cool, and I just moved on.
It's like an insane... People are saying crazy stuff like I'm a bank robber. I'm like, that's neat, man. What about you, ma'am? I had nothing. No riffing. And then I had to ride in an elevator with these people. I'm in the elevator in the ocean. You think it sounds like I made it.
And I'm just sitting there and I had a hat on and I just hear some guy just trashing me and my shoulder's touching him and I just have to sit there and get off.
Oh my God. But they do separate them between clean and dirty on a cruise ship. That's exclusive to a cruise ship?
Yeah, you would just have a show that's like the kids can come to this show, your family can come to this show, and then you'd have like a night at 11 p.m. It's like an adult-only show. You still can't be that dirty, but the idea of it is a little more...
Yeah, you could have just dropped in a couple F-bombs just randomly.
I got a curse as I talk about parking. I'm like, you guys ever parallel park? And they're like, this guy's filthy. Yeah, I didn't even have any. I didn't even have... I had no dirty jokes. Like, there's no... I don't really... I don't talk about sex or... uh, like political or like, there's nothing like really like, that's kind of like this.
What about political sex? Will you ever touch political sex? Is that something that you'd be willing to do? That I will. Yeah.
If the right joke comes up.
Sure. Sure. I, you know, it is funny. It is remarkable how, uh, how clean your standup is. And a lot of people, it's, it's such a weird thing to have to say to, to point it out, but I guess it is worthy of pointing out. And it is to me such a testament to, to how profoundly funny you are. And honestly, and I hope it is a badge of honor for you.
It should be, because it really, you find ways to talk about stuff and you don't need to swear.
I swear like a... And Cosby never cursed, right?
Famously never. Well, again, let's not try to, you know, look at, so let's not.
No, let's go down the avenue of Cosby and clean, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
This guy. So, Nate, wait. Did you, so at home, what's it like at home? So, like, do you check out, do you run jokes by your wife? Does she okay them? Is she sick of hearing them? Like, what is that dynamic at home?
I'll tell her. Yeah. I like, she knows about every joke that comes up. Cause that's something I had to learn to when you make fun of your wife at the beginning is you have to show love. Like you have to show, cause people, cause I remember at the beginning of the reaction would be like, well, why are you married? And so then you're like, well, that's not, that's not what I want.
You don't need to have that reaction. So you have to then make fun of yourself, but with her and you got to do it in a way that where they can tell that you do love your wife. You love your family. And so it's just kind of like just making fun of each other. But yeah, I'll run by stuff.
But that comes across, and you do that bit about the guy coming to replace the water heater in your other special, and you go, finally the guy realizes you don't know what you're talking about. He thinks maybe this is a modern relationship. And he says to Nate, the guy said, is your husband here? And then you go, yeah, I think she's here somewhere. Yeah. It's so good.
And it is, like you said, you're self-deprecating. You're the butt of the joke, which I think is always such a winning combo. You're not making fun of somebody. You're not having a laugh at somebody else's expense. You're not putting somebody else down to make yourself funny, which is great. Yeah.
Yeah. I just never liked it. Like, I felt bad. I mean, I would, like, make fun of my buddies in comics and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
But in the audience, I just always felt, you know, it's like, this person's just trying to sit there. They don't need it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it'd be, like, big, what's your shirt? Your shirt's stupid. And then I got my shirt on tucked in.
Right?
Don't we all got stupid shirts?
Yeah. Do you still live in Tennessee?
Yeah. I moved back. So I was gone, like, 13 years. And then we've been back for about... nine yeah i hear it's beautiful down there yeah it's so good right yeah i'm born and raised there it's great uh we have as much of a normal life as it can be we're gonna live in a cul-de-sac uh the house at the top so we're the leaders and uh we set the tone for it uh I have a joke. I'll just say it.
It's my new act, Russ. And we do all in our cul-de-sac, we do all the right things. Like if someone pulls down there, we're like, what are you doing down our street? Any car we don't know, we just run out. You better get out of our cul-de-sac. I mean, just furious if they come down there.
Brothers and sisters growing up? I have a younger brother and a younger sister. So you're the oldest of the three. I am. And do they, are they finding you funny all the time? Or like, yeah?
Yeah, yeah. My brother's like three years younger than me. My sister's about 10. I've talked about her in a special. And she works for me now, too. So that's fun. I mean, you get yelled at by her. I mean, you got your whole family.
You got your sisters working for you. And then you're on tour with your mom and dad and your aunt. I mean, cool, though. That's cool. It's pretty rad.
I don't think you've said this, but you have kids. Sorry, do you have kids?
Yeah, I have an 11-year-old daughter. Why are you so nervous to ask him that, Jason? By the way, he's married. He said he's not available. What are the kids' ages?
I did say before, don't ask about if I have kids. Oh, all right. I guess we're—okay. Yeah, and I have one 11-year-old daughter.
Oh, that's great. 11-year-old daughter. And what does it seem like she's going to want to do with her life?
Does she want to... She loves horses right now. I don't know why.
Oh, that sounds expensive. That's expensive.
It is. But I don't even know where... No one... We don't come from horse stuff. You know?
You're not horse people?
No, there's never horse people, but she loves horses, so right now she's kind of doing that stuff, but she's very creative, very funny, and she, you know, will get me and my wife laughing a lot, you know? I think I gotta teach her where to wear the joke. You gotta be like, all right, well, you gotta be serious.
Yeah, isn't that funny? It's like there's the age when they learn sarcasm, they learn humor, but they don't yet know when to stop the joke. They don't know when to do the joke. But you don't want to shame them because you don't want to kill their spirit or their sense of humor. So you just got to kind of grin and bear with so many things in their life.
It's so incredible watching kids learn things that we forgot that we learned. You know, like it's amazing. You know nothing.
until you learn it she can make fun of her friends recent and like i think but then they all got like it was like they did not like it and i was like and it was funny i forget what it was but it was like it was something funny but you're like all right you gotta understand You're like, you got to... Some people will be able to handle it.
Like, you know, she just is all about the joke because it's obviously just our... You know, her grandfather's a magician, a comedian. Like, so it's a lot of joking.
I think, yeah, I think that making fun of your friends is not a good path to go down. It's not... Unless it's Sean. Unless it's Sean. I mean, it's such a big button to hit. No, I thought we were talking about friends. Yeah, Sean. Oh, right. I can feel warm inside.
What's after Syracuse? Where do you go next? Albany.
So we started in. Of course. Of course. And just fucks connected to you? Like, what are you doing, dude?
Yeah, this is the route. I know we started last night. We were in Philly at the Fargo. It was where the Sixers play.
No way.
It was this big thing. And then it goes Syracuse, and then it'll go Albany. These are the two that Fallon wanted to come to, was Syracuse and Albany. Yeah, of course. Those are big venues. I think he's from up here. Yeah.
He is. He's from upstate New York. What arena or place are you playing tonight in Syracuse?
The, you know, the arena.
The Carrier Dome probably, right?
Is that what it is?
No, no.
Is that used to be? Yeah, no, I've been to a game there. That's like a huge... I've been to a basketball game there. Even the basketball court's set up. People buy tickets that are like, I don't think they can see the court. They're sitting like behind the court.
Would there be a crowd that's just too big for a comedy show? It needs to be a little bit more intimate. Like 20,000 people is like right at the max, maybe. Or no?
Yeah, I mean, it's all about how you feel. We have, like, you know, the arenas, we have these big screens. I've put more speakers up so everybody can hear it everywhere. You really do try to make it intimate. I mean, you can tell everybody gets real quiet. I mean, that's the cool, it's one of the coolest things is when you're telling a joke and you're, this many people are quiet. Yeah.
You know, and they're just, I mean, you could, I could yell with no microphone and the top person could hear me. It gets that quiet. That's so cool. So, yeah, I mean, I'd imagine if you did a stadium, you know, I could see it getting a little loose.
Right.
You know, and we're in the middle, too, of an arena, so I'm a lot closer to everybody. Do 100,000.
Do a hondo. Come on, Nate. Do a hondo. Do the big house of Michigan.
Have you ever had a moment where you kind of scare yourself a little bit by thinking, thinking about all the eyes that are looking at you and that they're not talking and that it is silent and that you might not be doing well and you can't leave for another 45 minutes.
Are you scared of the eyes?
I mean, have you ever had a panic attack on a stage and know that you can't leave for another hour? I have.
Uh, yeah. I mean, you've done it so long now that you're... I mean, keep your knees bent.
It's happened to me. I mean, it's like... Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I've done it now. It's like, yeah, I mean, you think about it. I had an SNL like a little bit when I did the monologue. I was more nervous with the monologue because it's like stand up and you're like, I'm supposed to be good at this. And then you got to kind of deliver the jokes into the camera, but there's the crowd.
And so like, it was very weird to deliver jokes to kind of a spot where no one's at.
Right, and you're right on the heels of standing back behind that flat, behind the band, right, that little narrow little plank, and the whole crowd is silent, and they're counting down to that live moment to America. Like, it becomes really tangible. Like, you're not just live in front of, you know, a crowd. It's beaming across, you know, the planet. Oh, yeah. Like, it's real tangible there.
Okay.
Yeah, you're like, I could say anything right now, and they're going to hear it right now because it's live, you know? Yeah.
I used to remember, like, 20 jokes when I was a kid. I used to love them. And now I can only remember, like, one or two. Go ahead and tell one. No, they're not that great. Go tell one, Jay. Do you have any jokes?
You want to hear a guy tell a joke inside out? Go ahead.
I do get a little tripped up. Do you have a joke from when you were a kid that you'll never forget? You may not use it in your act, but it's just like just a classic that was one of your favorites.
Yeah, I didn't use it in my act. You say you do? No, I didn't hang on to your like, I kept it. I still read a joke book when I was five and I'm closing on it. I remember the joke. I said there was a joke book or something, and there was a guy goes, waiter, there's a spider, or there's a fly in my soup. And then the waiter goes, well, don't worry, the spider on your bread will get it.
And it was a picture of a spider web. And so my dad always brings it. I remember that joke. And then my dad brought it up because I was explaining why the joke was funny to him and kind of going through it. Like, here's why this is funny. So that one was the first one. But I let it go.
Do you guys have jokes from when you were a kid that you'll never forget? One joke that's appropriate to tell? Is there one like a go-to that you remember?
I had a joke book when I was really little.
You have a joke book now, but keep going.
It's not funny. It was funny when I was like six years old. It's like, where do dead people go in your house? And it was the living room.
I have one which is like, people always say that ballet is really hard to do, and so I always say, just don't do it. Yeah. Oh, see, Nate laughed. That was Sean's opening joke when he did stand-up.
And what is the... This would probably be interesting for folks, including me. What are the... How do you do the economics of being a stand-up? I'm assuming you have to bear all the costs of the trucks and the infrastructure and all that stuff, And then you get to keep whatever you don't spend on what it costs to put the show up, right?
And you're making your money based on ticket sales and merchandise, perhaps? Full stop.
Yeah, yeah. Merch is not the biggest thing in stand-up.
Why?
Yeah, I don't know. We've done it at shows, and it's not like a concert. Like I was saying, stand-up's still kind of... It's kind of a newer thing. Cosby's one of the first. He's still alive. He knew Lenny Bruce.
Don't. If I could give you one piece of advice. If we could just lose the Cosby references. Boy, if we could get it down to single digits, it would be great. You know what? I'm going to send you a couple articles. Harvey Weinstein and I once set up an LLC. But so you've got this huge... Apparatus. Yeah, apparatus, right?
But you could do it without it. But you get like a deal. So you have promoters and then the... Yeah, you are... I think it's like the promoter is the one that's putting the money for like the... the renting of the venue. And then I'm paying, then it comes out of mine, the show budget of the speakers and all that stuff. And so you can have it go as low or as big as you want it to go.
Who's your manager? Who are your peeps?
Brillstein. Brillstein and UTA.
Yeah.
We'll be right back. All right, back to the show.
By the way, backing way up to the beginning of this interview, what is Bargatze? What is the nationality of Bargatze? It's Italian. Oh, it is? First of all, don't spit it out like that.
What the fuck is Hayes, son of a bitch?
Sean, can you wait a second? Sorry, Nate. Jesus. Hey, by the way, what the fuck is Bargatze?
I've just never heard it before.
This has really been a bee in my bonnet for a minute.
How do you even spell that? I know, I can't even begin to spell it. I knew that, but I forgot that I knew that. Italian, wow.
I think we say it wrong as a family, too. I think it's supposed to be Bargazzi, and we say Bargazzi. It's just we've southerned it up. Oh, I say Bargazzi. Yeah, I think a lot of people would. When I lived in New York, they would always be like, Bargazzi, because it's like Italian. And I was like, you know. Bargazzi. I was like, I don't like tomatoes.
Do you have family in Italy? You don't know, yeah.
I think we've all agreed to kind of go. We had a family reunion once, and we had family come over from Italy, and we got Kentucky Fried Chicken for them. And I think it was like from that moment was just kind of like, all right, y'all have a good life. We did it. We're going to do our thing. We're going to do y'all's thing. And we've just kind of gone our separate ways.
Nate, what do you like to do in your free time? And you've got a lot of time like on a bus or you're touring or on the plane or whatever. What do you watch? What are the things? Are you a sports guy? Do you watch other stand-ups?
Is it Candy Crush? How are you occupying your minutes?
Yeah, I'm a big sports guy, so I watch a lot of golf, like any sports, golf, UFC, watch a lot of UFC. Oh, you do? Yeah, I'm a big fan of UFC.
I wanted to peg that. I wanted to peg you for a big UFC.
It's just the most, the honesty of it, with Dana White and the fighters, they can say whatever they want. And so there's no, you know, like when Tom Brady, is he going to retire or not retire? It's like, it's all kind of a game and a show. And UFC kind of really is like, we just got a dude that just says, I want to fight this guy.
Right.
And then it just gets to it. And you're, I don't know, I kind of like, I love it.
But there's no romance to that, too, though, right?
There's the build-up to it, and then they don't like each other, and then you go in there and watch them fight. It's not just watching a street fight. You're watching two professionals that have to fill each other out.
So you watch UFC, you watch golf, you like to play golf. You play golf when you're on the road?
Some. It gets hard because of the shows and stuff. But yeah, I'll play some on the road. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's kind of it. I mean, I don't know. It's like you're just running around, got a lot of stuff. Got a lot of hanging out. Like the road is the most fun because it's just like... A bunch of dudes. And, you know, this morning we went in Syracuse.
We're in Syracuse, and this place has a hot and cold plunge thing. Sure. Will loves it. So I've never done it. But they let us come in. So, like, we woke up and did that.
Wait, who's Boo Weekly? I saw something.
Oh, yeah. is that so i this is another i told it on snl i tell it in my act too uh but it boo weekly uh because i have a joke about fighting orangutan at a county fair okay and where i read the story was there's a golfer named boo weekly and when he read uh he said when he was 15 he got in he goes this county fair he's from like georgia like southern southern georgia
This is like the 80s, you know, and you could pay $5 to fight an orangutan. An orangutan would be in a boxing ring with boxing gloves. And so dudes would pay $5 to fight them. That's hysterical. Yeah, and then guys would get in there, and this orangutan would just knock people out.
Because when I say this, I tell the whole story in my act, but I say because we didn't have the internet to look up how strong is an orangutan. It was all word of mouth back then. So, you know, you had to meet a guy that just fought an orangutan. And he's like, he's stronger than you think. But the arms are so skinny. I know. That's what I thought as well.
And the reach. It's the reach. It's the jabs.
It's the feet. Look at his feet. His feet's bigger than you. Yeah, that strength comes from somewhere.
And they'll rip your face off, too, if they want.
Well, that's what Buwiki said. He goes, that's not written everywhere back in 1982 when you're fighting orangutans. The guy that does this doesn't go, you sign a waiver.
Sure.
Yeah. You don't realize until afterwards, like, that's why he has gloves on. If it gets the gloves off, there's a chance it will rip your head off. So, but you know, what are you gonna do? Ride the scrambler again? That's really funny.
Oh, I wonder if that's still in existence anywhere in the country.
I bet there's still a place. I think PETA got ahold of a lot of this.
Sure, sure. They knocked those things down.
And that one, they were like, you can't do that. We're like, all right. We thought they liked it. I'm glad you just had to tell us. And we got rid of it. Fair enough.
Nate, what are you going to do today before the show? Tell them you're busy.
It was this, and then, yeah, it was just this.
I don't have any, like, I gotta re- I'm messing up some, the order a little bit, so I'll do that a little, and then we'll just hang out and be at the venue if there's, we do try to shoot basketball, like, some of these arenas, if they have a basketball goal somewhere, we'll try to, like, mess around, shoot basketball, just kind of, you know, do whatever until showtime.
That's nice. And then you're going on tour. You got a new special. You're shooting a new special.
In Phoenix.
Yeah. You love Phoenix. You did your last special in Phoenix, right?
I did my last special there. And this one's going to be in the Footprint Center where the Suns play. Wow. Yeah. I mean, it just kind of works out touring-wise. You just hit these towns every two years or so. And so it's just kind of like,
And your family goes with you or do they stay home?
They do some. Yeah, yeah. We went to Europe. Like they came to Europe. They come to the, you know, they're not here in Syracuse or Albany, but they, if they're, I'm doing the Boston Garden, they're going to come to Boston.
Tell them to join you out in Phoenix for some of the best pizza in the world as voted by the voters. By the people. At Chris Bianco's. At Chris Bianco's Pizza.
Nate, can you do, I saw you do this one thing a long time ago. You don't have to do it, but if you're like, I got to go. But one of the funniest things I ever saw you do. Sorry, dude.
Do you want me to stand up and do my act? Do you mind?
Just show us your tits real quick and then go to show.
Do you mind doing it topless?
Sorry, Sean. Show us your tits real quick. No. One of the funniest things was it was a story about meeting your wife's ex-boyfriend.
Yeah, on the boat? Yeah. I went, yeah, we went, I got to remember it, but we went to, it happened. We're on the lake, Old Hickory Lake. Is that true? Yeah. And we're in, we're like in the water. And then it's, my wife's ex-boyfriend was on another boat. Right. And I didn't see him. And she pointed out, like, there's no reason to point it out. But she pointed it out.
So then, yeah, like all I can think of now, like I'm thinking about him. And then I look at her and she's looking at him. And I feel like she's looking at him to see what her life would be like if she didn't marry me. And I was looking at him to see what my life would be like if I didn't marry her. So we're both putting a lot of pressure on this guy.
And then my buddy told me, he's like, you should go fight him. And I was like, what? Like he's on a boat. Like I got to swim over to that fight. Have you ever tried climbing a boat from water? It's not graceful. It's not easy. You don't come in with power. I would need his help to start the fight.
Right, right. I think that was, yeah. It's so funny. But I just, I mean, we can all relate to meeting exes, you know, our current exes. It's never good. I don't know if you guys did, but I.
Yeah, I don't. I don't really have exes.
All right. What are you talking about, Nate?
Hang on a second. I know, but that's what made it frustrating. I had no one to go show my wife, well, here's mine. Yeah.
What do you mean? What, is she your high school sweetheart or something?
No, we started dating like 2021. We met at Applebee's. We both waited tables at Applebee's. I was a host at the time. Oh, that's great.
I love that.
You don't need to scream.
Well, stuff is going, you know.
Sounds like it's all good in the neighborhood or whatever it is.
Yeah, we're all in the neighborhood. We're all in the neighborhood or something. But we're big fans. We took our daughter.
What was your favorite thing on the Applebee's menu? Here we go.
They had the chicken broccoli alfredo. I'd get no broccoli, you know?
Yeah. Get that out of the area.
And then I'd say put it on the side just so the guy thinks I'm going to eat it. Then he would just take a full plate of broccoli back after. I'd go, ah, I got full on the other stuff. Yeah.
That's so true. Like we're worried what they think.
Watch this. Do you think that's impressive? Sean, Applebee's menu backwards. Go.
Cobbler. Apple cobbler. Of those kinds of restaurants. Chinese chicken salad.
Pretty good. I'll eat that. Every place makes a Chinese chicken salad now. That's kind of like the new molten lava cake. Every place has a Chinese chicken.
What makes it a Chinese chicken salad? Is it just because of the ginger dressing?
They're the only ones that don't eat it.
And those crispy noodles. The crispy noodles and the... Yeah, you get the crispy... Chin-chin. Listen, Sean, I don't have to tell you. Chin-chin. Chin-chin does the best one. Yeah. One of the best ones.
One of the best ones. Yeah, one of the best ones. No, Sean's highlighting his chin, chin, chin. Wait, so of all those kinds of restaurants, I forget what you call them. Are they big box restaurants?
No, chain restaurants.
Chain restaurants.
Have y'all not been to one in a while?
It's been a minute, but I did like to see in your new special, Nate says, everything I learned, I don't know a lot that came from a big, like a building, like a higher education building. Everything I learned, I overheard at a Target or a Lowe's.
The Lowe's. Everything.
I overheard.
Yeah, we're big chain. I mean, I grew up like we're, you know, I had an old joke about like I was a big, I don't like mom and pop shops because they can close. Just they're like, we don't feel good today. And they close like Walmart. Walmart, you know, they were a mom-and-pop shop at some point, and then they got it together and became unreal. Yeah.
I like those, too.
I like mom-and-pop shops.
Here's what I like. I like Chili's, and I'm not afraid to say it.
They have the great chocolate... Lava cake. If you want one, go to Chili's.
Go to Chili's. And they also have the great, they used to have the Southwest egg rolls or whatever. They used to have those things. Me and Dax used to always go to, God, I love a Chili's.
What about Outback? They any good with the blooming onions? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We go to Outback a good bit.
Scotty worked at TGIF. Oh, I used to love that place. That's good, too. That's fun. That's an intimidating menu.
Dr. Pepper's doing some pretty amazing things right now. So if y'all are into Dr. Pepper, die Dr. Pepper. Is that right? They got some real good stuff going on. And some cherry, right? They got some cream soda, strawberry stuff. I mean, it's something, dude. They're showing off over there.
Did we ever get any confirmation on the doctor portion of the pepper? Like, did we ever see documentation to prove that he graduated? He's a just diet. What kind of doctor was he? Yeah, I mean. Dr. Pepper. I do like diet Dr. Pepper, too. And I'm going to say this. I like their ads. I like their TV ads. I think they're funny, the college football ads. I think they're real clever.
Nate, before I let you go, how do you know Greg Garcia? How did that happen, this son of a gun? Speaking of son of a guns.
So I've tried to make a bunch of shows that have never gone. We've had one show that we shot a pilot. And so Greg came in. I did not know him, but he came in. Danielle Sanchez Witzel. She was showrunning it, and she's friends with Greg. And so Greg came in to help us do it. And I knew Greg Garcia's work, but I didn't know him when he first came in.
So when he first came in, he's like, he's going to help us. And I was like... I don't know who this dude is.
Yeah.
Uh, I gotta listen to this guy. And then, uh, we wrote our whole, rewrote the whole script on his, off just his ideas. Cause they were so good. And, uh, obviously he's unreal.
Yeah.
And, uh, so we just become really close and become friends. I, uh, I was just with him this week, uh, actually, uh, uh, uh, dinner with him. Cause I had to go to LA for a second. And, uh, so, uh, he's, yeah, we became friends like that. And he's, he comes out on the road too. I'm telling you, y'all should, y'all come out on the road.
If you, if you want to get away and have a little fun trip, come on out, dude.
That would actually be really, really fun.
If you mean it, it's a fun, if you mean it, I swear Fallon's coming tonight. We have a fun time. It's you just, uh, play cards or you play, uh, You know, like we went to a casino last night in Philadelphia.
Sean, I mean, first of all, this is your dream. They go to a casino and they're going to chain restaurants. I mean, you know, every single, every Cracker Barrel has got skin marks in front from Sean's car.
Cracker Barrel is one we didn't touch on. I've not been there, but I hear that's the one.
Anywhere that can handle bus parking and tall chain stuff.
Well, Greg Garcia is one of the all-time great guys. Super, super funny guy. One of the funniest pranks. He always... I'm not really like a big pranks guy, but he is so funny. I had a long joke and a prank, and I just... He's such a great guy. So, yeah, that makes sense that you guys would be pals.
Well, listen, I'm going to return the offer and say next time you're out here in California, let's go play golf, man, and hang out and grab some lunch. Such a huge fan of yours, dude. Honestly, you're just the funniest, funniest, funniest dude. So funny. It's so good to see you. So exciting to see you. Just more and more and more people appreciate you. Really happy for your success.
Truly, truly, truly.
Yeah, man. Yeah, thanks for having me on.
Nate, thank you for doing this. What a thrill. Thank you for saying it. What a thrill. All right, the great Nate Bergazzi. Thank you, buddy. Thank you, Nate. Thanks, Nate. Thank you, guys. See you, man. Have fun. Bye.
The great Nate. The great Nate. God, is he funny. Yeah. Like old school, clean, good, hilarious, nonstop funny. God. He just seems like a real kind fella, you know?
Yeah, I can't see him getting upset. I'm sure you could figure out a way to piss him off. What would be your strategy if you really wanted to get Nate pissed off?
I'd ask him questions. I'd ask him the same thing over and over again like I didn't understand.
No, I think he'd be very patient with that. I don't think that would be his button pusher.
No, but like if you just went on and on about something like you just really honestly truly didn't understand, I think it pisses anybody off. I wonder. Like, what are you not getting, right?
Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? No, but we have a pretty high threshold. Like, we have a pretty decent amount of patience for you in that regard.
What is the thing that gets you guys to anger quicker than anything else? Stupidity.
People who don't think like I do. I have a short fuse for stuff. I don't suffer.
I have a short fuse for, like,
yeah people who are incompetent or like can't like like like don't have common sense about like easy things and then in the meantime i'm the dumbest person on the planet and i probably do the same thing yeah yeah yeah i hate when i hate when people like punch down you know yes like mean to people because they know yeah well that's yeah yeah so lazy yeah yeah it is
Punch down either, especially if it, you know, we do do a lot of joking around and we love to sort of rip each other and stuff, but anytime I see somebody who likes to, and we talked about it with Nate, who likes to get a laugh at somebody else's expense. Yeah, yeah.
Or, you know what else pisses me off? Confident ignorance.
That can also be super funny though.
Yeah, sometimes. Well, in a character it can be.
Right, you have to do it on purpose. But yeah, a person who is much smarter or much more confident than they have a right to be is just grating. Because you have to spend an effort to convince them that you're buying it.
Right. But if you have no dog in that fight and you're just observing that person, it can be hilarious. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that is true. That is true.
By the way, I love playing those characters.
Yeah, me too.
The character that's just an alpha everywhere. And then the tough guy walks in and then they're beta. Hi, beta.
Right, right, right, right, right. Exactly. Exactly. But Nate, we should go see his show when he's out. He's so funny.
I think we should meet him in Phoenix and go get some of that Bianco pizza.
And then play some golf over there. You're not playing golf anymore. Not until October. I have to be disciplined. I know. I mean, we can go to Nate's. Here it comes. We can go to his show and participate or we can go and just be a bunch of bystanders.
So dumb when we do.
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