Caller
Appearances
20/20
'The King Road Killings': 911 Call Released
Hi, something is happening. Something happened in our house. We don't know what.
20/20
'The King Road Killings': 911 Call Released
Okay, one moment. I'm getting help started that way.
20/20
The Crime Scene: New Details in Idaho Murders Case
What is the address of the emergency? What is the rest of the address? Okay. And is that a house or an apartment?
20/20
The Crime Scene: Wife of Green Beret Charged with His Murder
It looks like it might be a part of a body floating out in the water. I could spend a while, but there's no legs or arms or nothing on it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
Hi, can you hear me? Yes, we can. I'm so excited to be here, by the way. I was listening to your Hasan Minhaj episode when I was at work when I got the email and I totally flipped. Oh my gosh, good for you. You're going back in the archives. Look at you. He just came out with that other special and I'm a huge fan of his.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
So I saw that he had been on the podcast and I missed it. So I listened to both.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
Yeah, he's great. Yeah. I'm not going to lie. I'm kind of nervous because I haven't told the story in years.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
And my sister, she's a huge fan of Dax specifically. So am I, of course. But I thought I'm going to submit this story because I think there's a good chance that this is going to be the opportunity I get to get my sister to meet you guys.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
Oh, I do want to add. So this involves my ex-boyfriend. And today is his birthday.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
What a weird little coincidence that I'm going to be retelling this core memory of ours today. Do we like him or no?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
I feel indifferent. He's doing really well. I haven't spoken to him in years. Okay. So anyways, this happened 10 years ago. I was a senior in high school. I'm 18. So we grew up in a small town out in the country. I'm sure docs knows not a whole lot to do except for like off-roading and drinking.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
Yeah. So my high school boyfriend, he had this older friend who was throwing like this big party out of town at his house. And I initially didn't want to go because I was a big goody two shoes in high school and I didn't really like drinking, but I got FOMO. So I decided to go anyways.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
And so we're having a good time. We're at the party. We're drinking, playing games, talking to people. So we sneak off to a dark corner of the house at some point in the night because we're feeling frisky, horny teenagers. So we're making out. We're getting handsy, probably pushing the boundaries. I'm like, let's go somewhere private and get this going.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
Oh, yeah, of course. I'm like, let's get a private area. And so he didn't drive there. He got dropped off like I did. And so he goes to his friend, the owner of the house, and he's like, hey. I need a private area for a little while for me and my girlfriend.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
Not that much older. Maybe like 20 or 21. Okay, great.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
No, no, no. Nothing like that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
So he's like, here, I just got this new SUV. Here are the keys. Wow. Holy shit. He's generous. Oh, yeah. They're really close. It's got the biggest backseat. So he's like, what you do is none of my business in there. We go out there and all the cars outside the house are kind of like haphazardly all over the place all throughout the desert. And this car was parked more on the outskirts.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
So I thought it's dark out here. No one's going to see anything. We can have a great time. And also we're both super drunk. You guys know what's about to happen. So we're trying all different kinds of things. We've been together for like two years, so we've been sexually active for like at least a year already.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
Yeah, we're doing all of the things.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
This is what makes the story, in my mind, a little more demoralizing is that he's like, let's try butt stuff. And I'm super drunk, so... I'm relaxed. I'm like, okay, let's give this a try.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
You know what? Nothing messy happened, thankfully. But we were having a good time. I actually was enjoying myself. I will say I've never tried it again because I think this just put a bad taste in my mouth. But I'm in the backseat. I'm bouncing to high heavens. I'm distracted. I'm having a good time. He feels the car get jostled, like move. And he asked me, like, did you just feel that?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
I'm like, no, I don't feel nothing. Like the car's off. It's not moving. Like, let's just keep going. He's like, no, somebody just crashed into us. What?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
Yes, exactly. We hear and see all this commotion outside of the vehicle. There's arguing and yelling everywhere. And before I can even get a chance to, like, figure out what the heck him and I are about to do, somebody opens the door to the car.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
He had kind of, like, removed himself.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
Right. I mean, there's no question about what we were doing in there. And you know what you look like when you've been having sex for a while? Like, you know, the hair and the flesh and everything. It just looked horrible. Well, the cabin lights just turn on throughout the vehicle and they're bright as heck. So everybody outside the vehicle sees us.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
The guy who opened the door quickly closed the door too late. Like it takes a while for that stupid light to come on.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
Everything happens so fast. People are pouring out of the house party at this point because people are like, oh my God, the owner of the house, his new Range Rover just got crashed into. So he comes out of the house and everybody inside is also coming out of the house. And people are, of course, like they're hooting and hollering.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
Some people are like yelling. Thank God nobody took any pictures. But this is like on full display for everybody at this point. I'm trying to put my clothes on. He got at least his jeans on very quickly and stepped out of the vehicle. But of course, the light turns on again. So I'm like sitting there trying to cover myself. It was just so horrible. Oh, no.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
Yeah. So somebody was in a Chevy Tahoe, I think it was, or like a Suburban or something and just straight up backed into the vehicle. And we just happened to be unlucky enough to be in there at the time. The owner of the house didn't really care that much. We ended up going back to what we were doing. Oh, good for you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
Yeah. My favorite part of this story is fast forward two months, maybe. I have this best guy friend, we'll call him John. He ended up taking possession of that vehicle after it was repaired, obviously. And he didn't know anything about it. One day we were in his car and he mentioned like who he had got the car from.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
I just busted out laughing because I'm like, oh my God, you know, this car was in a car accident. He's like, yeah, that guy...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
bumped into this car no big deal it's repaired and so i told him what happened he was so pissed but for the rest of our senior year of high school i just would tease him about getting laid in his car oh my god that's fantastic oh bring me back field parties house parties what a blast i love that you guys got back to it yeah it's really impressive nothing can stop a horny teenager no no
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
I hate this story, but also at the same time, I'm like, oh, well. That's a great story. Yeah. Every time I listen to your prompts and I think about a story, I'm like, oh, my God, maybe I've gotten myself into too much trouble. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Embarrassingly Caught
Younger. It's so nice to meet you both. I can't believe I'm looking at both of you. You're in my ears all the time. Same with her. We talk about the podcast quite a bit.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 5 - Like a Little Kid
I found out I was related to the guy that I was dating.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 5 - Like a Little Kid
I found out I was related to the guy that I was dating.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 5 - Like a Little Kid
I found out I was related to the guy that I was dating.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 5 - Like a Little Kid
I found out I was related to the guy that I was dating.
Crime Junkie
SERIAL KILLER: The Doodler
But, um, help is my duty to report it. Okay, fine. Let's work it out. Okay. Bye.
Crime Junkie
SERIAL KILLER: The Doodler
I believe there might be a dead person on the beach right across from your lowest street. If you follow the street right down to the water. I was walking along there and I saw somebody lying there, but I didn't want to get too close because you know, nothing could happen. Okay? No, I don't think that's necessary. I just wanted to let somebody know. Maybe he needs help or something.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
Come back tomorrow for that one.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
It's all people who limited themselves as well.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
Passing that shit down.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
You're all right.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
You're gonna get way more negative, bro.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
I want to hit on this, man, because I think it's important. You said, you know, and we don't want to look down on anybody if that's what they chose to do. Problem is, most people are settling in their lives. No. You know what I'm saying?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
Yeah, man.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
I love it, man. Guys, Andy, let's do our third and final question. Andy, we've got question number three. Hey, Andy, I'm 25 and near bankruptcy. I started a business a few years ago in video production and quickly worked my way up to two hundred and fifty thousand a year, being the only one in the business over the past few months. I let my ego get the best of me and I have no money left.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
I'm behind on taxes, $60,000 in credit card debt, spent it all on going out and expensive purchases. And I got lazy and overweight, lost quite a few clients and businesses slow over the winter, but I am working my way back. What advice do you have for me or other entrepreneurs who have self-sabotaged after getting their first success? Thank you, guys. I hope this one makes it on the pot.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
I think others can relate. Self-sabotage. How do you what do you do after that moment?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
Let me ask you this, Andy, because I've heard this before. I don't think you've ever really talked about this, but What is the right way to win? Meaning like how do you celebrate the win like the right way? Like winners know how to win, right? Like act like you've been here before. My coach used to tell me that all the time. Act like you've been here before, right?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
What's the appropriate way to do it in success?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
It's not like it's a fine line. Like, it's a pretty big one.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
No, bro, they need this talk, bro.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
You're cold? Bro, it's freezing in here. Is it? I really believe Klein comes in here and fucks with the thermostat. It's possible. You know what I'm saying? You told me- You guys all cold in here?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
I think that's a perfect word to distraction.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
It's freezing. It's freezing. Maybe you all shouldn't hide in here all day and you wouldn't be cold. This is my only safe space, man. It's my safe space in here. Yeah, man. Well, guys, let's get better today, guys. We got three good ones for you, Andy. Guys, Andy, question number one.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
It's not it, man.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
I'd rather have the money.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
Yeah, obviously.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
Andy, I'm the kind of person who spends hours agonizing over every little detail, whether it's a work project or decorating my home. It's exhausting. And even when I finish something, I rarely feel satisfied. My friends tell me I'm too hard on myself, but I feel like if I let go of my standards, I'll be mediocre. How can I learn to embrace imperfection without feeling like I'm settling for less?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
Let's get this kicked off, Andy.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
That is by accident.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
You know, Andy, you talk about, you know, even just like actualizing your own individual success. Like it's a it's a strive thing, right? Like you're never actually going to reach that. So you look at perfection pretty much the same way. You're not going to really ever reach that fucking pivotal, but you're always striving to get as close to it as possible. Right.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
you're gonna ultimately regret and that's just reality there's no way to get out of your life without looking back and being like i should have handled that different yeah i think and i think too for most for majority of people that conversation that that's talk happens at the end of it right for sure if you're lucky though you have the awareness well you have some near-death experiences
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
You also push that.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
OK.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
And that conversation came real. Like, shit, if I'm gone right now, what did I do? Yeah. That's right, dude. Yeah, man. That's right. I love it, man. I love it. So don't be satisfied. Always work to do better and learn from the mistakes. I love it, man. Guys, Andy. Question number two. Hey, Andy. I'm currently on day 27 of 75 Heart. I am learning so much about myself and my self-discipline.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
I have worked in healthcare for over 25 years in different genres, long-term care, day treatment, nursing homes, inpatient psych, and most recently in hospitals. I'm not a clinician, but a manager of over 250 volunteers in a prestigious academic medical center. I'm really good at what I do, and I have picked up so much knowledge along the way.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
I have a bachelor's degree and a master's degree, and I know I can do more. The other day, I listened to my boss voice and reached out to the CEO and chief human resources officer for the entire system to ask them their thoughts of going back to school to attain a higher level within the system. So. I now have a meeting with the chief HR officer to discuss my qualifications and what I can do.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
I know I can do more. And I'm wondering if you have any advice for me that I can use in my upcoming meeting. Thanks in advance.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
882. Q&AF: Finding Like Minded People, Success Without Shame & Overcoming Paralyzing Fear
Yeah.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
882. Q&AF: Finding Like Minded People, Success Without Shame & Overcoming Paralyzing Fear
Yeah.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
882. Q&AF: Finding Like Minded People, Success Without Shame & Overcoming Paralyzing Fear
Hello?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
882. Q&AF: Finding Like Minded People, Success Without Shame & Overcoming Paralyzing Fear
Yes, sir. What's up, DJ?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
882. Q&AF: Finding Like Minded People, Success Without Shame & Overcoming Paralyzing Fear
Hello.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
882. Q&AF: Finding Like Minded People, Success Without Shame & Overcoming Paralyzing Fear
100%.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
882. Q&AF: Finding Like Minded People, Success Without Shame & Overcoming Paralyzing Fear
Yeah. And you should. And I will. All right, good. Yeah.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
864. Q&AF: Young Entrepreneur With Big Goals, Taking Out Time For Yourself & Building Company Culture As A Young Leader
Yeah, I do. I do it every morning or every night than the day before.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
864. Q&AF: Young Entrepreneur With Big Goals, Taking Out Time For Yourself & Building Company Culture As A Young Leader
28.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
864. Q&AF: Young Entrepreneur With Big Goals, Taking Out Time For Yourself & Building Company Culture As A Young Leader
Yeah, so first of all, I just want to say thank you both for doing the show. I've been listening a little bit over a year, and it impacted me and helped me a lot. So I just turned 20 a few days ago and I have pretty ambitious goals for my future. And really simply, just what would you guys say is the best ways to just maximize my early 20s to just set myself up for long-term success and happiness?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
864. Q&AF: Young Entrepreneur With Big Goals, Taking Out Time For Yourself & Building Company Culture As A Young Leader
So my brother-in-law has a pretty successful business. Nothing compared to you. But he does really well for himself. He's in his 30s. I mean, he's just great overall. He makes the money that I want to make one day. He's a great father. He's able to just, like you said, kind of the discipline part. He kind of just built his life to kind of be what he wanted by doing what he wanted.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
864. Q&AF: Young Entrepreneur With Big Goals, Taking Out Time For Yourself & Building Company Culture As A Young Leader
But yeah, I'm kind of like in an analysis paralysis mode. I mean, I have a good job right now, but it's definitely not the dream of any sport.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
864. Q&AF: Young Entrepreneur With Big Goals, Taking Out Time For Yourself & Building Company Culture As A Young Leader
Well, no, I seriously do appreciate everything you guys do. I'm always tuned in. I'm excited for MFCO to come out. That'll be huge. When you had the first part of it, I was still a little kid, so I didn't know about it, but now I'm aware, so I'm excited for it to come out.
Stuff You Should Know
The Chelsea Hotel
So my fiance and I have been together for 10 years. In the first two years of being together, I find out he is cheating on me, not only with women, but also with men. What should I do?
Stuff You Should Know
The Chelsea Hotel
So my fiance and I have been together for 10 years. In the first two years of being together, I find out he is cheating on me, not only with women, but also with men. What should I do?
The Charlie Kirk Show
The Great Birthright Citizenship Hoax
I'd like to know if your guest knows what a Chinese maternity house is. They're houses where the Chinese government takes citizens that when they're in their seventh or eighth month, they ship them here for a month. They let them have their children. And then once they have their children, they take them back to China, where now they're U.S. citizens. But they're raised in China.
The Charlie Kirk Show
The Great Birthright Citizenship Hoax
They're loyal to China. We know they're doing it, but they're still getting away with it.
The Commercial Break
The 700 Club!
My question is, can people get saved when they're on their deathbed and go to heaven? Because I'm confused there, because in that case, we could all just sin our whole lives and then just get saved when we're ready to die. Could you please clear up that confusion?
The Dan Bongino Show
Biden Is Destroying The Country On His Way Out (Ep. 2402)
We're sort of dancing around who gets to take credit for this deal.
The Dan Bongino Show
Biden Is Destroying The Country On His Way Out (Ep. 2402)
No one's dancing around here.
The Dan Bongino Show
Biden Is Destroying The Country On His Way Out (Ep. 2402)
Our colleagues that President Trump was critical in getting this deal over the line. Do you not agree with that statement? I mean, look.
The Dan Bongino Show
Biden Is Destroying The Country On His Way Out (Ep. 2402)
I'm not going to speak to a random person. I don't know who this person is.
The Dan Bongino Show
The Tragic Consequences Of DEI (Ep. 2413)
One parish was giving communion in the parking lot, inspiring someone to write, nothing in the Bible says they should risk their lives and the lives of others just to receive an offering. Hundreds of others just sent in pictures of children playing outside without masks. Here's six kids playing basketball. Super spreader event. Here's another one.
The Dan Bongino Show
The Tragic Consequences Of DEI (Ep. 2413)
And if you thought the emails were bad, get ready for the voicemails. One woman called in to report people jogging without masks.
The Dan Bongino Show
The Tragic Consequences Of DEI (Ep. 2413)
I rode my bike. I was not wearing a mask. Passed groups of people jogging from CrossFit. There were groups of four and five. They weren't wearing masks. They were not social distancing. I wasn't wearing a mask on my bike either, but it wasn't riding with people. And I was trying to stay away from people.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Alley Oop 7 (Part 2): Mike Conley and the Timberwolves, Luka and Lebron, and the Wizards stink with Trysta Krick
Yo, what up, Juju? Hey, man, listen, I got a question for you. Like, it's NBA-related, and it's odd timing with the playoffs, right? I'm primarily a hockey fan from the Washington, D.C. area, but, like, I'm trying to be into basketball. Like, the past couple years, I've been getting up to speed. And my question to you is, like,
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Alley Oop 7 (Part 2): Mike Conley and the Timberwolves, Luka and Lebron, and the Wizards stink with Trysta Krick
The Wizards, I know the Wizards ain't shit, like, the last 30 years, right? But, like, my question is, like, what's it going to take? Like, why have they been so bad for so long? And, like, what's it going to take for them to be in the conversation amongst those, like, the Knicks, like, the Celtics, like, the Thunder, et cetera? Like, I just, like...
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Alley Oop 7 (Part 2): Mike Conley and the Timberwolves, Luka and Lebron, and the Wizards stink with Trysta Krick
You know, I'm new to the basketball, like, fandom, but I want to get behind my Washington Wizards team. But, like, what do they got to do to be competitive? And why had they not done it yet? Thank you. Have a blessed day.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Alley Oop 7 (Part 1): Rooting for the Pistons, KAT, Schroder, is Steph the GOAT w/ Trysta Krick
Juju, it's Graham from Seattle. Here's my crazy take. Steph Curry is the GOAT. He doesn't have the physical gifts that LeBron or Jordan has, but he's far more technically skilled at the game than, honestly, either of them. And he is not to say he's not a great athlete. He is, but he's just not at the worldly level that those two are. And that's my take. Steph Curry, GOATS.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Chris Cote's Michael Jackson Leg Kick (feat. Pat Forde)
I think the way we demonized the chef in Ratatouille seemed a little bit too much. I also would not be eating food from a rat. How good would the food have to be if the entire kitchen were rats? What is the obsession of America with bagels? Bagels, overrated. Yeah, this is Brian out of Columbus. I got a hot take for you. Every Bob Seger song is one minute too long.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Chris Cote's Michael Jackson Leg Kick (feat. Pat Forde)
Yo, it's your boy P representing Southwest Florida. My bold take is any candy with the word candy in it is trashed. Cotton candy, candy corn, candy cans.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Chris Cote's Michael Jackson Leg Kick (feat. Pat Forde)
this is jack on a mobile in california my hot take is that the monsters would have beaten michael jordan in space jam if they had any kind of good roster makeup okay they had larry johnson they had charles barkley sean bradley and mugsy bogues and patrick ewing he's right they have no one who can guard michael jordan at the point of attack he's right they have all these bigs just waiting in the paint for him to get dunked on this is space jam he can
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 2: Chris Cote's Michael Jackson Leg Kick (feat. Pat Forde)
It dunks from half court. If they had picked Scottie Pippen over Larry Johnson, Monstars win that game.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: We're All Tired Of Jimmy Butler And The Heat
Hello? Bobby!
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: We're All Tired Of Jimmy Butler And The Heat
You weren't watching.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: We're All Tired Of Jimmy Butler And The Heat
You weren't watching. You stayed up? Mom only stays up. You stayed up?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: We're All Tired Of Jimmy Butler And The Heat
What about Spoh?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: We're All Tired Of Jimmy Butler And The Heat
What would you say?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: We're All Tired Of Jimmy Butler And The Heat
That's my guy. Okay, enough with Thibodeau. Papi, what do you think of the Dolphins? Oh, the Dolphins.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Wild Willy Is NEVER Wrong
Big man for sale or rent. I'm not talking about Ralph LaFrance. He might have played with Shaq. It's Michael Dowiak. He'll spend two hours in the film room, then... Sweep aboard like a human broom. Tomorrow he won't be back, Jack. He's Mike Doziak.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: A Second Greg Cote "Zip Your Lip"
Marshall Falk is the best running back I've ever seen in my life.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: A Second Greg Cote "Zip Your Lip"
Yeah, this is Dan from Phoenix on a mobile. Sandlot, great movie, terrible ending. We have 93 minutes of pure cinema building up the kid legend, Benny the Jet Rodriguez, only to find out that it amounts to him being a pinch runner. A pinch runner. Very anticlimactic.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: A Second Greg Cote "Zip Your Lip"
I've got a tour song. Hey, this is Tony in Orlando. My hot take is we should not be able to get speeding tickets from cameras.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: A Second Greg Cote "Zip Your Lip"
Police officers should have to catch us breaking the law in order to give me a ticket. I'll hang up and listen.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: A Second Greg Cote "Zip Your Lip"
This is B. Green. First time, last time. And this is my limited fake Patrick Warburton as Joe from Family Guy.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: A Second Greg Cote "Zip Your Lip"
Hey, Peter! The greatest mysteries known to man. The origin of life. Quantum physics. How Tommy Tuberville beat Alabama five times in a row.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: A Second Greg Cote "Zip Your Lip"
Yeah, Jay on the mobile from Toronto. Fake limited. Dale Labrador. What's Stugatz? Uh, Stugatz? He's actually a good, uh, Stugatz. What do you mean? Greg Pottie.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: A Second Greg Cote "Zip Your Lip"
Uh, that's fair to say. What?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: "Sex and the Animals" Returns (feat. Ron Magill)
Hey, Dan, das ist Ben aus Norddeutschland. Jemand, der kauft, konsumiert oder genießt Peeps, sollte gejagt werden und auf eine Warteliste gestellt werden. Das ist Jay aus Rochester, New York, und das ist mein unbegrenzter Fake, Ray Romano. Ah, Mann!
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: "Sex and the Animals" Returns (feat. Ron Magill)
Hey Dan. First time, long time. James Gladstone. Sounds like the name of a character from the board game Clue. James Gladstone is guilty of murder in the kitchen with the candelabra.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Alley Oop 6: Kawhi, Big Ellie, and Indiana Fever with Ros Gold-Onwude
What's up, Juju? It's JT from Autonio Carlin. Juju's asking for some of the music recommendations. Guys out of Atlanta, preferably, but just anything new that you've been listening to. Take care.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Oral History of the Dan Le Batard Show: Episode 8
Okay, if you could permanently enhance your life by four inches, would you go hype or would you go baby?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Don't Look Now (feat. O'Shea Jackson Jr.)
How do you read?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Don't Look Now (feat. O'Shea Jackson Jr.)
Well, well. That's the thing. Yeah, you like when things are terrible.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Don't Look Now (feat. O'Shea Jackson Jr.)
My hot take of the week is that you people that back into parking spaces... You're screwing it up for the rest of us.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Don't Look Now (feat. O'Shea Jackson Jr.)
Avocados are overrated. Terry Rozier for Caitlin Clark. She gives us more spacing, opens up the lanes, and we shed some salary cap. We'd love to hear your thoughts.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Don't Look Now (feat. O'Shea Jackson Jr.)
Tom Izzo compiler. I present to you limited fake Arnold Schwarzenegger stuck in a bear trap. I can't get to the chopper.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Don't Look Now (feat. O'Shea Jackson Jr.)
It's just cheese and graham cracker crust. Why in the hell are we still using toilet paper in America in 2025? Japan has it right with those toilets.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Don't Look Now (feat. O'Shea Jackson Jr.)
What happens to the large scissors that are used at grand openings? What's happening to those scissors? Are they getting used again? Are they traveling around the country to be used at multiple grand openings? How many of these are there?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Don't Look Now (feat. O'Shea Jackson Jr.)
Dan Tremaine in the legendary chicken parm sandwich. The mozzarella does all the heavy lifting. Why do we not call it a chicken mutts instead of a chicken parm?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Don't Look Now (feat. O'Shea Jackson Jr.)
Now that Aaron Rodgers' career is over with the Jets and that experiment, like all Jets experiments, I messed up. I'm going to call back. I'll see you soon.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Yeah, it really gives you a different perspective because when you're younger, you think, well, you just can't seem to get it together. But then you have a kid and you're like, I can't imagine how he didn't.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Yeah, and I'm not really so much angry or frustrated, but just like it's got to be something I can't imagine, I guess, since he's in the middle of this crazy addiction, I guess. Yeah. I don't really know how I can help him or if there's any way I can help him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
I mean, I've tried to do that, but I don't.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
really see that getting to that point that's right even if it even if it did get to that point i don't if uh unless you got a job and was able to figure it out or get on some kind of disability i feel like it would just happen again yeah so there's this moment when i'm gonna love you the best i can with the tools i have given the circumstances we both find ourselves
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Every time he has one, he loses it or it gets stolen from him or something. Okay. So every once in a while, maybe every few months, you know, I'll get a call from him or like, you know, the last time he was in the hospital, he'd call me from their phone. And there's a, there's a, uh, you know, a couple hours away, there's a, a ministry type, uh,
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
rehabilitation center that I said I've talked to him and they'll take you and it's free and they give you a job and he's like I don't want to do that or he'll act like he wants to do it but he really doesn't sorry this one's kind of catching a lump in my throat man
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
I'm not saying it's getting worse because his situation's been about as worse as you can get.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Yeah, and what made me call is I feel like I'm getting desperate because he... He overdosed again, and when I talked to him this last time, he said that he was mad that they resuscitated him because he has DNR written all over his body, and then he overdosed again in the waiting room or whatever, or when he got there, when he woke up. He had something on him and overdosed again in the hospital.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Do I just stop talking to him? What do I do?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Yeah. I've thought about that. I just don't know if that's the right thing to do or not.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Yeah, I don't either. Most places... It sounds unlikely that you could make somebody do that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
And I, I had talked about that with a hospital and they offered him treatment as well, but I don't think he took it. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Right. Yeah. They released him and I guess he just went back to the streets. Yeah. As far as I know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
I don't know. Nothing in particular. Kind of the same thing as me. You talk to him and you tell him what you can, when you can, but that's about all I can think to do.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
I don't know. I don't really want to go see him and I don't really want to deal with it anymore.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Right. Yeah. I've thought about that a lot, the guilt over resentment.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Right. Yeah. It's definitely, you know, like you said, taught me what I shouldn't do. And my friends that have dabbled in drugs and I'm like, dude, you have no idea what it's going to lead to, how quickly you can go down that path.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Awesome. Well, I recently found out that I'm pregnant. Is that a good thing? Yes. Yeah. We weren't really telling anybody, but except now I just pull a bunch of people.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Yeah, and I've heard you say that going from two to three is really hard, so... Yeah, from man to man to zone.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Good luck. Anyway, so a friend of ours... from church. She recently went through a miscarriage. And then shortly after that, I found out about this baby. And I feel like I should tell her about it in person, but I'm not exactly sure how to tell her before we share about it on social media. And that's why I'm coming to you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
I've known her for a few years. I want to say that we're particularly close. um, like we were part of the, uh, like a tribe of women that she's tried to like get around her. We've done a few girls nights together and she had me and another friend of ours on a group text, um, when she was going through the miscarriage and things like that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
And like, I called her and prayed for her and, um, yeah, but like, but we never really had any like heart to hearts or anything. So it's, um, yeah, it's like, I know her, but I don't know her deeply. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
No. Kind of mostly wondering, like, do I need to bring something over to her house? And we're like, do I need to acknowledge what had happened to her? Yeah, more like that. But I think everything else will be fine.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Oh, okay. Because I definitely would have.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Thankfully, that's not the case.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
I don't know. My daughter says that it's a girl and I'm just like, I don't know. We have one of each.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Well, psych. We already have a boy named John.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
My dad has a huge drug problem that's very likely going to kill him. He's been in and out of jail, and I don't know exactly how long he's been homeless, but he's been homeless in San Francisco for at least 10 years.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
How are you, man? About to have a weird conversation. Probably weird for me, not for you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
All right, so what I have written is my dad has a huge drug problem that's very likely going to kill him. I'm the only person that he has left, and I've been spinning my wheels on this trying to figure out if I can do anything that's helpful. I know the problem's probably not going to go away and there's probably nothing that I can do, but there has to be a way for me to move forward.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Well, I'm sure that he's had a drug problem for decades. his whole life as far as I know, but my parents got divorced when I was around 10, um, mainly because of this and because he couldn't behave. Um, but he's been in and out of jail since then. And, um, I don't know exactly how long he's been homeless, but he's been homeless in San Francisco for at least 10 years.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
Uh, he calls me every once in a while. When I was younger, we talked a lot more, but, um, the most recent thing I heard from him was he was in the hospital. The, um, one of the nurses or whoever was taking care of him called me and said that he wanted to talk to me. Um, and I asked how long he had been there, how many times he had been there this year.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
And they said 25, um, and that he had just overdosed again and they resuscitated him. And it's, you know, kind of the same thing. Hmm.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Boyfriend Just Revealed His Troubled Sex Life . . .
Yeah. You know what I mean?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Boyfriend Just Revealed His Troubled Sex Life . . .
Yeah. I feel a little crazy.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
That sounds very accurate.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
Okay. I think I can do that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
Hi, Dr. John. I am wondering how do I develop self-discipline and stop abandoning healthy habits? Ooh, good question. I feel like it should be just as easy as, well, just do it, but I'm 35 years old and haven't been able to just do it yet, so...
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
I've read as many books out there as I can think of, and I tend to be a reader and then have a really hard time implementing things. Even just things like drinking water every day or exercise or budgeting or Anything that requires consistency in life to create a healthy life.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
Yep. And I've heard you say that. That's why I even mentioned it. It's because I've heard you say that and... So that's why this show is about real people.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
I think I'm really good at a lot of stuff.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
But yes, I'm not good at other stuff.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
I've read your books. I've read, you know, a lot of the, the big ones out there, like atomic habits and the, that one about her, you know, the relentless, Well, the one about stopping hurrying. Oh, John Mark Comer's book, yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
Yeah, thank you. Ruthless. Really good books.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
Um... Exercise. Okay. Being a person who keeps my body healthy.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
Less mental load, less things on my plate.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
It's just another thing to think about, another thing to do when there's already so many things to think about and do.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
I know it's an identity change.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
I don't. I don't think I do, Dr. John.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
I really, I really, because I've sat with that question. I've listened to everything you've said.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
You're like, I listen to lots of podcasts.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
I listen to podcasts. And I don't, I could be wrong, you know, maybe if we dig deeper. But I do believe I'm worthy of being well. I love myself. Awesome. I think I'm a great person.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
The thing that precipitated this call is I was reading back through journals and from my life. And I have a whole lot of Januaries that are well documented.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
Yep. Um, so yeah, I, and I just, I would look at the different, the different things I was stuck on when I was 20 and they're the exact same things I'm stuck on now. The same things that I want to develop in my life when I was 20 are the same things now. And there's just a whole lot of January's that talk a lot about that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
And I don't know, I worked really hard in the last few years on my mental health and anxiety. That's required cutting a lot of things out, like caffeine and busyness and political articles. So I've had tremendous growth in those areas, the things that cut things out.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
That it won't feel good until I have done these things.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
I want to spend more time with my siblings and their families.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
Do you know how cold it is here right now?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
I think so. That's harder than you giving me a magic formula.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
Um, my sister and I just decided that we're going to, the one that's an hour away, that we're going to put on our calendar every other week to see each other.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
I go there, we meet halfway.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
No, I can do three months. I've done three months before giving up before.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
No. Okay. No, I want to start when we get off the phone.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Think My Husband Is an Idiot (but I Don’t Want To)
That accountability seems like it would help.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
Yes. Hi, Dr. John. Thank you for taking my call.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
What's up? Well, I have been married for many, many years.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
Uh, of course, of course. Um, My husband and I, we started a business about 30 years ago. I left the job that I had to help start the business. And as you know, over a 30-year time period, we had our ups, we had our downs. We came very close to bankruptcy twice. I took my pension out of my job that I had for the company. I used inheritance that I had for the company.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
And fast forward to today, the company is doing fabulous. Awesome. Just fabulous. Our daughter came in and she's been helping us and we've been doing really great. And in the process of us doing really great, we're kind of thinking about, you know, selling the company. or giving it to the daughter to carry it on. So we're not sure what direction that's going to go.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
But the reason I'm calling is my husband gave me a document as to how things were going to go when we sell the business.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
Yeah, yeah. He had money divided into trust, and he never spoke to me about what was going to happen. In fact, the way he told me was that he was the only one on the corporate papers, and I had no say.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
No, this is the way he runs. Oh, man.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
Well, I think when we started, we had really no money. And we just got like a boilerplate form. Sure. And he put his name on everything and didn't put mine on it. And I didn't really think about it. I don't blame you. Although I did have a friend who knew my husband 30 years ago and said, you better get your name on that paper. And I... pushed that under the rug. She was absolutely right.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
Well, I am dealing with a sense of betrayal. I am dealing with a sense of dishonor. And I am trying to navigate how I go forward to... to deal with someone who has totally dishonored me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
I was going to say the daughter's going with him because he's leaving a big percentage of the business to her.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
But that's not what he's saying.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
Well, he's going to have a trust. He has a trust set up, and I would.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
I'm a little too old for that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
But that's not what he's saying.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
Yeah, I think that's what I'm going to have to do.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
Yes. Yes, because the way it's written, she's going to benefit from it, from the way he's planned it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
No. Man. And I have other children.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
they're not even talking to them right now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
That's how he has it set up. Yeah, no way. What does he say to you? Why does he think so little of you?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
Well, because he believes that he's the one in charge and he doesn't think that I would be able to run the business without him there. and that the daughter needs to be running the business. And I believe she should run the business because he's been training her for years, and I think that's great.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
But to totally take away any stock or any ownership at all, everything, he's giving everything to her. And she knows how I feel about it. So it's not like she doesn't know. She does know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
That's the dilemma I have.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
Well, you've confirmed what I thought I'd have to do, and I do appreciate your time. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
I appreciate your call and your advice.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
What are you going to study? I'm actually planning to join the seminary and study pastoral ministry.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
I think it's good. We actually just got married in October, so pretty new.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
How's your marriage? It's good. It's good. It's kind of since I've decided to. You're so great. If you had to give it a grade. Like on a scale from A to F or 1 to 10? Yes, A to F. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
It's good. It was definite.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
It's gotten better, especially with my dad. There was some tension growing up. where I thought he was trying to make me be one person and I wanted to be a different kind of person and I didn't feel like I could really go to him and talk to him about how I felt. That all has since been resolved. And so with both my parents, it's probably the best it's ever been.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
It just feels like typical growing pains and stuff throughout high school and college.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Good. I've actually been going to the gym for about 10 months now after never going consistently. Awesome. So I know, marginally speaking, I'm probably in the best shape I've ever been in, even though I wouldn't say I'm in necessarily great shape.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
I am good. I'm glad to be talking to you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
That's also been really great. I got baptized actually almost a year ago, exactly. And so my wife grew up Catholic and fell away from the Catholic Church just due to negative experiences that she had. And so whenever we moved into the house that we're in right now, we decided to try and cultivate that area of our lives again.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
And so we started going to a church that's just down the street from us, and we were immediately welcomed with... huge open arms and got super involved in it. Um, and so that's, that's partly the reason why I've wanted to study pastoral ministry is to be able to kind of be that person who welcomes people in and can be able to make that kind of difference in their lives.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Um, just in terms of how much I make, how much I have saved, how much, how much do you owe? Um, really nothing. She has, um, she has a car loan that's... So something. Yes. So, and, and I am debt free aside from a credit card that has a relatively small balance.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
So I was going to ask you, how do I approach my Jewish parents about converting to Catholicism without ruining our relationship?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Um, we have, um, a 529 plan set up with the, uh, state of Missouri.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
So recently, I've kind of separated myself from... the synagogue I was a part of, um, for many different reasons. And, um, I've did, my husband is, it was raised Catholic. Um, so I've decided, um, that I would like to convert and be a part of the church with him. And we would also like to get our kids baptized. So that's another part of the
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
I don't know. And I've thought about it a lot. And it's like, I don't remember anyone ever telling me that I wasn't enough or that I wasn't good enough. Do you believe that? I know in my head that it's not true, but it's just I feel like I've internalized it for so long that I've still got to, I guess, I don't know what the term is, de-internalize the idea that I'm not good enough.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Recently, I've kind of separated myself from the synagogue I was a part of for many different reasons.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Pretty much everything because I'm like the worst person in the world at taking a compliment for anything. And I don't really know where that stems from. It's just for as long as I can remember, I've just had this tendency to just think that I'm less than.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Yeah, there was a good amount of that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
that's probably going to break my parents' hearts as well.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
It's more of like a cultural Jewish.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
I don't, it changes constantly. What was the last one? Oh, boy. The thing is, it's gotten to the point where I've just kind of resigned myself to, well, I'll know when I find it. And then that doesn't do anything.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
I think in front of me, at least with my mom, I think she'll be supportive and then she'll leave and be heartbroken.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
So kind of, I guess, the short version of my question is just how do I continue to heal and move on after finding some things in my girlfriend's phone that I didn't know about?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Yeah. Um, it's been great. She's awesome. I love her. Um, what'd you find? So, and a hidden folder of her photos. There were, um, pictures of her and her ex-boyfriend together. Um, and also just some screenshots of like texts with other guys that I didn't know about.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Um, they were, so they were from Kind of the middle of when we first started talking. We had met about three years ago now, I guess, in September. And met at a mutual friend's birthday party. Kind of started talking a little bit. The first texts that I saw were... her confessing feelings for a guy just a few weeks after we had met.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Yeah, that's kind of a part that I've struggled with a little bit. Because part of it too is, I mean, so those texts were a few weeks after we had met. Then we texted a little bit. Not a whole lot came of it. The other screenshots were from after we had texted the first time. And then about a month after she texted that other guy, we started texting again and have been together since.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Yeah, bro, y'all were 16, dude. I would let that ride.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
I guess just, like, the way that she had kind of always told me, or I guess the story that I always knew about the beginning of our relationship was, like, once I met you, there was no looking back. Why were you digging around on her phone? I'm not sure. I guess just, I don't know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
No, I don't think it's that because it's really not, like just because they're not practicing. I think it's more of like an abandonment.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
I guess just insecurity on my part.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
It's not on the side of me being flirty or texting. I guess there's... I just have a habit of jealousy and comparison. And I guess just there's really any time of a mention of anybody else, it just... Not even in a weird, hey, this guy...
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
like is awesome or like talking about this other guy or whatever, but just any mention of like, Hey, this guy in my class said I look pretty today or, you know, anything like that. It's just, I guess I just kind of get consumed with the jealousy and insecurity and comparison of me and him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
I'm not exactly sure. I've thought a lot about it. I think some of it is from, I guess, like the girl that I was kind of with before me and my current girlfriend. We never actually dated because I knew that she wasn't the kind of girl that I wanted or needed to date. Um, and she was just super manipulative when it, I guess, came to like using other guys.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
She didn't necessarily ask why. I guess she was just more, you know, sorry that all that was there and that like I guess that I saw it cause she knows it was probably not like an easy thing for me, for me to look at. Um, and I mean, I guess her explanation was just like, she, I mean, she knew it was there, but also forgot that it was there at the same time. Um,
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
It was good. I mean, at least in front of me, it was good. I've only like witnessed them yelling at each other. Like, Less than a handful of times in my entire life.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Yeah. I guess that's kind of, that's more where I'm leaning to is like, I don't know why, like this is the girl that like I want, like to be honest, I want to marry and like build a future with.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Well... My major is sports management, but I'm also getting prerequisites to go to PT school, so I kind of have to give a disclaimer whenever I answer that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
But at the same time, we're also kind of like one of those Southern families that doesn't say things that need to be said sometimes.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
As of right now, yeah, that's the goal, physical therapy.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Correct. I just want to do it with the least amount of conflict possible.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
How do I approach my Jewish parents about converting to Catholicism without ruining our relationship?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
So I think I'm going to go to confirmation. I think I'm going to start. We think we're going to.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
So my question is, how do I overcome my fears of going broke and recognize when my saving habits become excessive?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Well, so as long as I can remember, I've always just kind of had this... Even whenever I started working at a very young age, helping my... mom's business and stuff, I've just kind of had this mindset of as soon as I got money, I didn't do anything with it. I just, I stowed it away and I just let it, the mindset was just to let it grow.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
And I feel like it's probably one of the earliest, I guess, bits of wisdom that I ever remember hearing from my parents and from my grandparents is the idea of a penny saved is a penny earned. And since then, since I, you know, worked all throughout high school and then worked all throughout college and then since graduating college, I've always kind of set these goals
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
milestones where I just thought to myself, okay, once I achieve this much in the bank, I'm good. And it doesn't mean I'll be stupid. It doesn't mean I'll, you know, go crazy, but I don't have to worry as much anymore because I've got this much stowed away. And every single time I achieve it, I just end up thinking, well, just a little bit more and then, and then I'll, and then I'll be good.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
And then I'll feel comfortable and, not being so panicky whenever I have to spend money that I haven't kind of worked myself up to spend.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
So I've got, like, my best friend in the world has been my best friend since the third grade. We still talk all the time. He still lives in our hometown. How far away is that? Average three hours.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Jewish Parents I’m Converting?
Oh, boy. So I work at a bank, and currently I'm looking around at other things to possibly become my job. I'm planning on starting school next year, and so I'm kind of in this position where I don't know if I should stay in my job because I really don't like it. but I've got a good six months before starting school, so I don't know if I should find something else to kind of take that time.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Tired of Supporting My Husband and His Daughter
You shouldn't have any confidence in him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Tired of Supporting My Husband and His Daughter
I have every confidence in him that. You shouldn't have any confidence in him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Awesome. Just us. I don't know the other two that y'all know of.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
I wish I had you on tap all the time.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
We're done. We learned a lot. Unfortunately, the hard way, but that's how I seem to do things.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Hi, thank you so much for taking time to talk to me today. I appreciate it. How are you?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
So I started a relationship with someone. I do happen to work with them. And it was over the course of a year. And things progressed, even got to the point where we wanted to move in together and signed a lease. And I knew this person was married, but it was explained to me that they were separated. I didn't understand that it was capital M married.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
You did such a good job building the lead. So I did know that, but I was under the understanding that they were separated and beginning the process of divorce, which, you know, hindsight's 20-20. I realized that divorce should come first before anything else. No way.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
So, I mean, yeah, I didn't understand that. the situation at the time and was just kind of rolling with it. And, um, okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Yeah, I guess that's, that's the, the question is, is how to move on. So, um, You know, he still talks to me. He still says that he has the same feelings and wants the same thing. Why does he have any contact with you? We work together, so we're around each other.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
It's hard not to hold space in your life. It's hard to let go of, I'm not going to lie.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
In my perfect dream world, yes. I understand that perfect dream worlds don't exist. I love a good story, I guess. And it's hard when someone's still saying all these things to you not to hold space in your life for them. And I'm afraid that I'll pass up on good things because in the back of my head, I've always waited.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
That's a very fair assessment. Yeah, I... I don't know how to break that connection in my brain. I don't know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
That is what I hear a lot is people are like, I can't believe you don't hate him. And I don't.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Yeah. That's disgusting to me. And I didn't find everything out until after the fact.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
I think the picture I was painted and the story I was originally sold, it's hard to attach those words to that person, but I have to realize that that person doesn't exist.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
I definitely struggle on the self-worth front, which is why I think I... accept the treatment that I do and accept the situations that I'm admittedly and take full responsibility got myself into.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Mm-hmm. Yeah, it hurts. It hurts a lot.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Yeah, 100%. And I don't like easily feel that way about people or, you know, commitment is definitely something I struggle with. So I just... I worked on that for the wrong person, the wrong situation, the wrong everything.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
And just completely cut contact. And that's definitely going to be a challenge because before anything turned into anything, this person, it started out as friendship, which I'm sure you've heard a million, million times over. I didn't mean for it to sound stupid. I didn't mean for it to get this far.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Thank you for saying that because I don't always feel like it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
I go to therapy. I work on it, but... I know, but you don't... What does your therapist say?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
That... I don't know. It was a cruel thing to do to someone. Um... I didn't find out about everything until after a lease was signed. We were making lease payments. It was like when he was supposed to move in that things got weird. And that's when I was like, something's not right. So I went to his house and that's how I kind of found everything out.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
I was kind of joking. She was like, who are you? And I was like, I... I think we need to talk about some things, because I don't think I understand what's going on, and I don't think you know what's going on.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
No, she was so oddly calm about it. Because you're not the first one. I wasn't, and he told me that, you know, obviously... Like I said, I thought they were separated. And he was like, I've never stepped out on my marriage, like blah, blah, blah. And she was like, obviously, by my reaction, you can tell that this has happened before. It's never gone this far, but it's happened before.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
And that's not even the end of the saga. So that all happened. And he's like, well, everything's out in the open now, so I can actually leave. He ends up bringing a bag to the house that we signed for. And then tells me it's over. They're getting divorced, whatever. And then he leaves. And I have to go back and be like, she sent people to my house to look for him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
And I was like, but what the hell is going on? Like, I can't believe anything that's being said. And so her and I confronted him together.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
I did record it. I don't think anyone knows that, but my phone was on in my pocket just for my own sake, I guess.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
I think they're just very traditional. Maybe that's a better word for it. They're just very conservative, traditional.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
It won't work out.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
I think that for them, from my understanding, for them it's kind of like, well, if you're in two different backgrounds, marriage is hard enough. And so if you come from two different cultures, it's just not going to work. You're not going to get along. You'll end up in a divorce. The world's going to crash and burn. We're all going to die.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
All right. This is from Brandon. Yes. He says, I am a deer hunter and I have family members that ask me for deer meat. I butcher my own meat and make really good products from deer meat. Every year, family, mainly my in-laws, ask for meat. I put a lot of time and effort into hunting. They don't offer to help but always want and ask for meat in indirect ways.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
I can't sell it to them because that's against the law. I enjoy eating the deer that I harvest and the products that I make, so they are taking away from my food supply. I don't ask them for a ribeye steak every year. Am I the problem?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Wow. Let's not go that far. I can also see a side where they're mooching. Of course. And they're adults as well. And now he has to be the one obviously to set the boundary because they're not going to.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Yeah, clearly. But it's kind of like if you know somebody that – Cody. Our friend Cody takes pictures. I would never ask him to do it for free.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
But I guarantee you people do.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Yeah. And in this case, this guy can't sell it because it is illegal. Right. Because that was my first thought was, sure I can if you pay me. Right. But you can't do that because it's illegal and he's trying to follow the laws.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Right. Or maybe that's what – You can't just continually take and take and take and take because they're saving money by not having to buy meat for their family.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
I think both sides need to be.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Sorry for what?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
How do I tell my very conservative parents that I am in an interracial relationship right now? For them, it's kind of like if you come from two different cultures, it's just not going to work. You're not going to get along. You'll end up in a divorce.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Right. Right. What would you do? So they currently do not live within driving distance of me. Is this something that I should wait for like a time when I can like fly out and talk to them in person?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Right, right, right.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Um, I don't think, well, it shouldn't be a huge shock. I've, I think that I've always kind of had a gut feel like, uh, that, you know, I, I mean, I'm not really particular on the race of the person that I date, but in the past, like whenever we would like walk past an interracial couple, or we have a family member, we have a couple of family members who have been in interracial relationships and
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
When they make their little snide comments or they're like, see, that didn't work out or, you know, whatever it may be. And I voice my opinion of I don't think that's why that went wrong or I don't think it's that bad or, like, it doesn't bother me. Why does it bother you? Like, they kind of give the, well, you just don't know yet. You just don't have the experience yet. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
I am 25. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
I'm a bucket of sunshine.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Yeah, it is very cold.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
I do. Okay. And I should probably have it without. Am I significantly there or should I bring him along?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Right. That's true.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
So I am calling to basically ask, how do I tell my very conservative parents that I am in an interracial relationship right now?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
So I lost a hundred pounds. Yeah. I don't.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
Two and a half years. Yes, sir.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
Well, it's a, it was a long process. I also have PCOS and the rest of my family struggles with obesity. So it was kind of like a one man show for a while. How'd you do it? I started my, it was really about sustainability. Like, Um, what can I do for a long amount of time? And also just getting to the root of it, I think was the biggest thing.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
And, and that's what I wanted to talk to you kind of about, because when I was addressing that root, a lot of things sprung up. I'm a totally different person. And I'm just like, I don't even know who I am. Like, do I date myself?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
Thank you. You are very motivating. I was walking to you for like hours and hours and I would hear your voice. So, I mean, I would thank you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
I was walking with you. I was walking with you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
Yeah. So I wanted to get more of a, just, I feel like I have a lot of pieces in my head, like, cause I feel like it's more of a psychological battle now than a physical one. I'm basically at the end of my journey and, Like, I would love to look myself in the mirror, put my fist to my chest and say, I love this woman.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
Because I don't know who I... I don't know who I am.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
So many things have changed, though. I can give you some examples. Rattle them off. The first thing is, like, looking at myself in the mirror, I just, like, don't recognize myself.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
And that's, like, a... cognitive thing. That's really weird.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
Yeah. I cannot tell you how many times via zoom or on my phone where I look at myself and I'm like, is that me? Like, it's very, very weird. But I think deeper than that. Um, for me, like I've always had this like script when you, when you talk about like, what's the undercurrent of your life? Like, I know I found out what that script is. And I,
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
I know that in order to overcome that, I have to have something different, but I don't know what to replace it with. That's such a great question. I was the ugly, fat friend who didn't have anybody, but that's not true. I know it's not true now, and I deserve love and stuff like that, but how do I replace that with something?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
The script has always been like, I'm undesirable from the people around me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
to friends i'm the butt of every joke you know i'm always just like this alien that has no space where i can really like be myself okay here's what you're looking at my weight first here's what you're doing and it's so natural and so normal but i want to free you for a second okay okay what you just described is a lifetime of other voices
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
Don't overthink it. Someone adventurous, someone who has integrity, someone who is hardworking, someone who wants to, I don't know, try new things and meet more people.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
Right. And I think the thing that, to your point, that I've been reckoning with is I was an emotional eater. So when I was sad, I ate. When I was mad, I ate. When I was depressed, I ate. When you're happy, you ate. Yeah, when I was happy, I ate. Yeah. Everything, everything, yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
And then, like, because I don't go to food now, now I'm looking, like, at the relationships I've had because I've always been kind of like a people pleaser, like, go with the flow. But I'm realizing I wasn't really going with the flow at all. I was just depressing all of my emotions. Yes! And now it's just like this new person where it's like, or maybe it wasn't even a new person.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
It was just me all along. That's right. And that's what I'm trying to reconcile.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
And here's the thing. I have adventure set up, but I'm scared. Of course. I'm getting married soon. Yeah. You know, I've studied abroad. I've done a lot of interesting things, but it's just like, I don't, it's like, wow, this is the new me. Like, this is, This is kind of, I don't know, crazy, and I'm kind of trying to connect the dots.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
Like, no, he, he, we met, he met me in the right smack dab in the middle of my journey. And he's just been so consistent. Like the love's been so consistent. And that's another thing where I'm like, he loves me for who I am. Like, that's scary. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
It doesn't matter what the outside looks like now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Love My Wife, but I Don’t Want to Be Around Her
Yeah. Yeah. No, this is great. I was just like, I don't know where to start. I feel scared, but also really excited.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
You're answering your own question. So, yes, yes, I should just end it?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
Good morning. I'm good, brother. How are you, man? Doing well, doing well. Just got... I'm done finishing up some work and happy to be talking to you right now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
What's up? Not as much as you might think, but... I got you. But I have a little bit of ADD, so I tend to ramble when I'm on calls like this. So I'm just going to read my question straight up. I got it right here in front of me, and I'll add a little bit more details near the end. Perfect. Go for it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
So I am married with two kids, and my wife and I are both currently working from home while our kids are at daycare. I go to the gym to work out 45 minutes to an hour, two to three times per week on my lunch breaks. Recently, my wife has been telling me that I prioritize my workouts over her and that I need to change my priorities.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
I try to plan when I can work out with her versus when to do other things she wants me to do. But if I tell her I am planning to go work out, she will call me with something she wants me to do at that time. They expect me to drop my plan to work out for the day and will get angry whenever I don't.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
Staying active and fit is an important part of my lifestyle, even though I don't agree that it is my top priority. I feel that I am being reasonable whenever I try to plan my workouts and inform her what I'm doing and going to do. And don't feel that she respects my boundaries when I set those plans. Am I the problem here?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
And add a little bit more on top of that and to give her as much voice as possible since she's not on the phone. My wife is currently in the process of studying for step one of her medical board exams on top of being a working full time and being a mom of a one and a three year old. So I don't want this to come off as she's being lazy and saying that, oh, you're not doing enough for me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
She's going through a lot right now. So it is understandable that she would want me to do more at this point. So. I guess my question is, am I the problem, or does she need to respect my boundaries, or is it a combination of both?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
Ooh, okay, okay. So like I said at the beginning, I have ADD, so I have a tendency to forget things whenever I'm working at home. Just go off.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
Just taking care of the home a little bit more. Tell me about that. So like I said, we both work from home. That's only been a recent thing over the last five or six months. So whenever I was working at a clinic, I'm a physical therapist and a health coach. I was able to focus entirely on my work. I get very zoned in on my work whenever I'm doing it. And also my lunch break was kind of my time.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
So then I wouldn't go to the gym. I would use the suspension trainers and the lunch in an area in my gym. So for the longest time, I was able to just focus on my work and do my workouts whenever I was on my lunch break.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
Now being at home, I feel like there's kind of this expectation that not only am I going to do those two things, but I'm going to take care of the home a little bit more and that things are going to be taken care of more whenever she gets home or is done with her studying.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
I guess probably what it comes down to is just focus. Nope. Focusing on those other things. Think about something deeper than that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
She has used that exact phrase many times before, and it is one of the most irritating things.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. And what adds on top of that is she's the one bringing in the primary income. She makes about twice what I am, so I can see how that would.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
Well, it's not my own business. I work for the VA here in Birmingham. So it's a continuation of the job that I had. It's just from home rather than at the office. Okay. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
I love how Kelly always skirts the line of saying what is almost too inappropriate in the moment all the time. It kind of warms my heart, to be honest. And I also love how she's the biggest Eagles fan out there that I've ever met.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
I'm talking about the Philadelphia Eagles. Oh, the Philadelphia. I thought you meant the band Eagles. No.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Is Living a Double Life
You're answering your own question. So, yes, yes, I should just end it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
So, my problem and question to you is, I am currently...
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
Yeah, I'm afraid to burden them with this. I try not to bring it up too much.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
Yep. I haven't said it out loud until just now. Okay, cool.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
I am in a love triangle with my best friend's brothers. She has two brothers. And currently I am in some sort of love triangle with them. And my problem is I'm not really sure how to tell her or if I should tell her or what even to do or how to go about the situation. I've been trying to like build up the courage and like sometimes like whenever we hang out, we've been hanging out a lot.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
Yeah. What? How old are you? I'm 21. How old's your mom? She is 47, 48. Yeah. Okay. So she's young. Yeah. All right.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
Whenever we hang out, I'll be like, Hey, I have something to tell you. And then she's like, okay, what? And then I just, flop and I can't get it out. I just can't say it. I just cannot get it out.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
We have just been, no, no, that would be, sorry. We've just been, like, texting a lot, and this past weekend was obviously Halloween, so, you know, all of us being, like, in our early 20s, you know, I saw them out at the bars, and, you know, just, like, I don't, like, yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
Yeah, and they have expressed to me that they also have a crush on me, but they don't know. As far as I know, they do not know that both of them have a crush on me, and I have a crush on both of them.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
Yeah, that's what I'm nervous about. So I'm not really sure exactly how she would feel about it. Me and her have been best friends for seven, going on eight years. So like we've been best friends for a really long time. So I'm not exactly sure on if she would be okay with it, even in the first place.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
Oh, yeah, you... You really got me there. You really got me there.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
I do not like the idea really at all, but I really do think I could be in a pretty good relationship with really either one of them. They're both very, very good young men, in my opinion, I think so.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
That's, that's kind of what I'm here to ask you. Do you think I should just kind of call it all, call it all off and like, I think you're overblowing it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
I, I just, I don't, I think it's the fact that like, she's my best friend and like, this has been going on since, geez, like the beginning of August.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
Um, I, I guess I have made out with one of them. Yes.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
I mean, I'm assuming not. If, I feel like if he was, one of them would have said something by now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
I am in a love triangle with my best friend's brother. And my problem is I'm not really sure how to tell her or if I should tell her.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
yeah it's just like really it's really like it's like really hard to comprehend like everything like even for me like I haven't told anyone about this because like like all obviously if we're best friends all of our friends are also no that tells me you're ashamed of it what are you ashamed of I'm just ashamed of the fact that like I've been hiding it I'm like
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
I'm talking to two guys that... Not only am I talking to two guys, they're related, they're brothers. There's just a lot that goes on top of it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
Yeah. And that's like kind of another thing. Like, since we've been friends for so long, I've been around... them while they've had other girlfriends. And like, she's come to me talking about things that she just hates about them. Like, you know, just digging into them as most siblings would, you know, all her brothers are older.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Two Brothers
So, you know, she just talks about, you know, everything she hates about, you know, their current girlfriend or at the time their current girlfriend.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
She's a wonderful woman. I've always been insecure about this. There it is right there. I mean, I really thought I had put it behind me, though.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
They do go on work retreats together and spend a little time together. I have found, I stumbled across some where she had been referencing some conversations she had with them about some previous partners she had had back in college and sort of talked about them kind of braggingly so, kind of glorifying the glory days, so to speak. And it really, really hit me pretty hard.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
And I am just trying to figure out how to... how to handle this information.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
where there's a little clique of four of them. Okay. Two women and a man. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
She would say things like, you know, in the context, she'd be talking about, you know, former and how she had lots of love in college. That was a quote. And how the ages 19 to 23 were like heaven, or she hopes that's what heaven's like. And she would reference a few of the men and about the story that accompanied that and when they talked about it at the last meeting. trip they were on.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
Fortunately not. Not a lot of detail, but I'm just seeing the tip of the iceberg. I'm just seeing the reference on when this story was associated with this person or that person.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
Well, what I stumbled upon was her text threads where she referenced those stories, where when they were together, you know, she talked about this guy, and that's when, you know, we were at this resort when I was telling you all about this guy, and those are the threads that I'm seeing.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
So I'm now sort of discovering that she's talked about these former sexcapades, that she's, you know, when they're together, and then while they're chatting on the text thread, the social media text thread, you know, when they're talking, you know, referencing more about it and making more jokes or just whatever she's just talked about. I just can't believe she said these things.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
So is her past a surprise to you? No. Okay. That's kind of my twofold question is obviously finding out that she is You know, when I married her 20 years ago, you know, I put her past behind me, and it took me some time to get over that, but I did, and I don't want to shame her about her past.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
You know, we're moving forward, and I thought we were moving forward, and now she's got this new group of work friends she's been with the last six or eight years, people she didn't know in college, and they don't need to be talking about that stuff.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
Okay, that's it right there.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
Uh-huh. That's the issue. Yeah, she's brought her past into our marriage and into our current life.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
I guess... No, we didn't have an agreement. When we did get together and I did find out her past... It was hard for me to accept.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
It's been something that's been hard for me to deal with ever since. Why? I mean, I actually saved myself from marriage, and she didn't.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
Okay, let's pause right there.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
I've recently stumbled across some messages where my wife has been talking to some co-workers of hers and how she had lots of love in college, you know, kind of glorifying the glory days, so to speak, and they don't need to be talking about that stuff. Okay, that's it right there. Uh-huh. That's the issue.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
But I, I agree with everything you're saying, and I knew about these relationships going into it, and I've tried my best not to shame her, and I don't think I have. And I have put all this in my past, but what's just bothering me so much now is that she's brought it up to these friends, and not so much as in a...
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
you know, these types of things happened and, you know, this is, you know, my life, but just in such a glorified way that she's just bragging about, you know, these things that she's done and sharing it with these individuals that weren't there. And it's just, it's just rocked me. And I don't know how to handle it. I don't know if I'm just
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
completely insecure and that's something I've got to deal with on my own or should I talk to her more about it or should I just move on? I don't even know what to do next.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
She told me what I believe to be a semi-watered-down version of... a handful of people. I don't know a number, and I don't know names, and I can't look these people up on social media, things that I don't want to do and haven't tried. In the text thread that I found from her recently, I found out more information about her past that I didn't know to that detail or level of interest.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
I hear you. I've never had anybody say it to me before. And again, I've never really talked to anybody about this before either.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
I didn't even think that I thought that until you're saying those words out loud.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
Hey, man. I'm just calling to see if you can help me work through something. I've been married for about 20 years and Had what I thought was a great relationship and hopefully still do. What happened? I've recently stumbled across some messages where my wife has been talking to some co-workers of hers. They're close friends, co-workers.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
That is fair. And I was going to tell you that my boss had offered to move my location, swap me with another person in the office and let them support the team he's on and move me elsewhere. For career reasons, I was like, okay, I shouldn't make decisions based on a man. No, no, no, no, no.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
I don't know how to get past these emotions, and I need help with that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Okay. Well, back in the spring last year, 2024, I started a new job. Awesome, great opportunity. About three weeks into this job, I declared an office crush. It was a guy that I, when I first saw him, I thought he was handsome. And then sitting in meetings with him, he's witty, he's funny. I just, you know, innocently, oh, he's going to be my office crush. Didn't think anything else of it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Back then, my question was, hey, my wife gave me an ultimatum to have a third baby or possibly she was walking. I called in to get a couple of tools from you. I used a couple of those, but now I'm coming back to the well to see if they have any more knowledge for me as I continue to navigate through this.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
You're fantastic, but I find myself in kind of another odd predicament with her, but I'll unpack however you think would be most useful.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
So the main point was we got to a point in that discussion over the third baby, but it was really a proxy battle for me kind of capitulating to anything she wants and her going nuclear, so to speak, if she didn't get what she wants. We got to the end of that, and it came to that sort of lights-up conversation that we had.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
And I said, listen, however we got here, you know, the important thing is that I think – We try to build something new. So I kind of established I wanted to build something new. I wanted to put away all of the insecurities, all the issues we had, kind of put those down and just start something new. And she never really said if she was in or out. She was very upset in that moment, obviously.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
But then a couple of days went by where she was sad. And since then, she's been normal-ish, but not affectionate. So it's almost like she's in, but she doesn't want to say she's in because she's still kind of punishing me because she'll never forgive me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
And I don't know how to re-engage it and say, hey, you know, three months ago we had this weird conversation about whether you're going to leave or not. You never really said if you're leaving. So it's kind of walking on this anxious eggshells all the time. Like, are you just going to leave or what's going on?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
But by mid-summer, I started noticing that I was getting attention from him. And then flirting started. And I was enjoying it, loving it. But then autumn starts creeping in. I'm like, this feels like an emotional affair waiting to happen. And so in October, I shut it down. I went into his office and I had two reasons for shutting it down. I only gave him one reason. I said, hey,
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
So honestly, the reason why I haven't brought it up to her again isn't because I'm afraid she said she's going to leave. I don't actually think she's going to leave, and she's not going to say that, but I think the problem is based on how our relationship goes, she's never going to ever say she's all in because she has to have that like over my head. Cause she's been using that for several years.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Like I could leave, you don't do X, Y, Z. So I feel like if I bring up the conversation, like, Hey, let's resurrect this terrible conversation from a few months ago. She'll just be like, Oh, I mean, obviously I'm in, but like, you know, I don't know. Maybe a year from now I'll be unhappy. So like, she'll never give me any resolution to it. That's why I don't bring it up. Cause it's like, all right.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
I mean, maybe the other part of that, and just to finish this point is, And I said this to her, if we go forward and we're not having another baby, I understand it's going to change the family picture that you had in your mind, but there'll be a season of grieving in your life, which I'll be, I'm all in to help you with and walk with you through that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
So I don't know if this is like, okay, she's kind of getting to acceptance her own way and she's in her grieving process, but how long do I let that go before I go, Hey, you know, We can't live in an affectionate-less relationship forever because we're normal day-to-day, but there's just no affection on her part. It's just like, no, done. She's kind of checked out that way. So it's odd.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Yeah, I think that's completely true. And to kind of give you a little more depth on that. she, she's created this devious way in which she doesn't say like, I don't know if she actually said directly, I believe, but she, she very strongly like intimates that. And she knows that that's my greatest fear.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
But then like, when I've brought this up to her throughout the process, the other kind of smaller fights for this nuclear one, I, I directly articulate, like, I'm afraid that you will leave if I don't give you what you want. And she would kind of almost do this, not to overuse the word, but gaslight like, Oh, why would I leave? I'm not going to leave.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
And then we get to the next fight and she's like, you know, I really can't do this anymore. I don't want to do it. And so it's like, she never says like, I will leave, but she, she, she lays that thought in my head.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
And the reason why she'll never say, Hey, Hey, listen, I'm, I'm all in is because if she does that, she's putting down that, that weapon she's always had, which she knows is my greatest insecurity. Like, I'm afraid you're going to leave. So what if you do, what, what if you take all the bullets out of that weapon?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
I'm concerned that the way we banter, our flirting in the office is going to backfire on me. Not only mention that I was concerned about my job, that it's going to impact me and my job because, hey, I'm the new employee. I'm the female in the situation. He's over management. He's the married guy. Women typically lose in this situation.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Yeah, I feel like she's – I think she looked exhausted. necessarily looked into divorce or anything. But I think she's envisioned that and she realized how hard it is. So now she's not planning actively leaving. But my concern is that the next time, three months from now, she's like, hey, let's do whatever. And I go, oh, we can't do that. Then she's not getting what she wants.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
She's not getting fed that. Then it's going to be another fight. And then this will come up at some point. But to your point about, if I may, the kind of like the retreat you laid out, I kind of did that in a sense, not as well as you did, obviously, because you do this for a living. But during the past month of us being in this weird dance was our wedding anniversary.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
So I got us a room at a hotel with a restaurant, just kind of have almost like a start over type retreat thing. With what you just kind of laid out in a framework in mind, but not as well. And she first, she declined. She said, well, we shouldn't go away together. It's not a good idea. And I said, why? And she's like, well, because we have all these problems. I was like, I just kind of walked.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
I was like, okay, whatever you want to do, but I don't have to cancel the reservation until X day. So then she waits until that day and she goes, all right, we can do it. We can go, but we have to talk about things. And I said, okay. And we went and we did it. We didn't talk about things. I didn't bring it up to be fair, but I was kind of waiting. Like, where are you going with this?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
So we just had like a decent evening, but I was like, well, why didn't we do this? What's what's going on? Like, are you not wanting to talk about you over? I keep trying to read tea leaves, which is stupid.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
But what I didn't tell him was that I was also concerned that I was going to get emotionally attached to him and fall for him romantically. Well, Dr. John, I think I waited too late to set the boundary because after I set that boundary, I have been literally crawling across the floor in tears. I've missed work.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Well, and so if I could just expand on that for a second, not that I'm great about anything, but like I do roughly nine out of 10 things in the house. So like meals, cleaning, cooking, I do so much. So I feel like she probably thought, oh, my life would be much more difficult. I might as well just live here and have them do everything.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
But I feel like if I stand up and pull back a little bit in what I'm doing, because I'm also overwhelmed with the amount of stuff I'm doing, because it's completely unbalanced, then I always feel like she's going to leave. So everything is kind of through the lens of like, if I stop doing this one nice thing I do, is she going to leave?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
And I have to regain my personal agency and take power back in my life. But I'm just, I don't know. I'm so terrified now after years of dealing with this and this very acute, recent situation. I just don't even know how to start except saying like, Hey, one of the stories of that conversation from a few months ago, what are you doing? Are you leaving?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
And then I feel like it won't be resolved because she'll just kind of be like, well, well, you know, maybe I will. I don't know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
I'm even skipping the department Christmas party next week because I don't want to take a chance on seeing him with his wife. Like I have been struggling and just, you know, I have great friends. I have a therapist. I even have a sponsor in a 12-step program. And it's just, I could be sitting at my desk and he walks by and my heart skips a beat. I don't know what to do with that. How?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
How do I get past that part? He's respecting my boundaries.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Hi, Dr. Deloney. Thank you for taking my call. Of course. What's up?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
I guess I'm struggling to figure out how I can address my husband's drinking problem in a way that I guess will stick with him. We've had several instances over the past, I want to say, four years to where his drinking becomes more and more excessive, and it'll peak in an instance where he will speak to me disrespectfully because he's had too much to drink.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
And then I have a habit of stonewalling him for a couple days. And then once I feel like I'm able to talk to him, I'll sit down and talk. He'll admit he has a problem and he needs help. And the best that I've gotten from him is he'll try to drink less. This last time that that happened was the night before Thanksgiving. He called me, for lack of a better description, the C word.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
I had a frustration with me. And I still involved him for about three days. And when we finally sat down, again, he admitted he had a problem. He needed help. He asked me what I needed from him. And I told him I need a sober home, 100% sober. I don't care what people think or say about it. But in my home, I don't want any more alcohol.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
He was very hesitant, and he said that he didn't want to impose our issues on anyone. And I knew at that point, like, just trying to go back and forth with him to get him to do things my way wasn't going to work, and we agreed on he was going to get sober. That was maybe about a week ago at this point, and...
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
A couple other things happened that were upsetting to me, but I kind of just had to put it to the side because I don't want to seem like the one that's being overly critical with him. What were those things? So we had that discussion, I want to say Sunday after Thanksgiving. We were having friends over a couple nights later on Thursday.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
He called me while he's out in town and asked me if I wanted a bottle of wine for dinner. And I just had to stop and it took... everything in me to not explode on him over the phone because we just had this whole sobriety talk a couple of days ago. So I said, no, I don't want any wine. I'm fine. And he said, okay. And he shows up to the house with a six pack of non-alcoholic beer.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
And once again, it took everything inside me to not explode on him. And the only justification I gave myself was, well, At least he's trying. It's non-alcoholic beer because I didn't want to ruin the night. I knew that if I said something, it would just turn into this whole thing. We went through the night.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
He had two non-alcoholic beers, and he put a sleeve on it because he didn't want our friends to see that it was non-alcoholic beer because they do drink. I mean, everyone we know drinks. It went fine. I came to work. We're both shift workers, so we'll work for 48 hours at a time.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
And sometimes we'll have alternating days off to where he's alone on a day that I'm working or I'm home on a day that he's working. And Saturday comes along, I get off Sunday morning, and then I realize a couple of things have happened while I was gone on that Saturday that he is neglecting to come forward to me about.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
And at this point, and it does involve alcohol, and I don't know how to approach him. And I've once again been stonewalling him for about three days now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Absolutely. I feel like I've tried every other way. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Well, my relationship... Well, first of all, I'm a 50-plus woman who's never been married. I still desperately want to be married. Dating...
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
I've tried to. I've tried to get him. I've tried to tell him that the methods... What I've been trying are all these talks when it comes to like a breaking point.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
dating is good in the sense that i go out on a lot of dates dating is uncertain and horrible because there are no guarantees like even last weekend i went to a christmas party that i thought was for singles place was crawling with couples and i left discouraged like where were the single men and so so i don't i don't have like looking back over my past i don't have this like
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
I feel like that's the only That's the only avenue that I haven't tried because. Because you're scared of what he's going to do.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Would the best thing after this conversation with him be for me to go sober as well? I mean, I think I acknowledge that I don't have the issue with alcohol or the relationship with alcohol that he does. I'm willing to be 100% sober for the rest of my life. I don't have to think twice about that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
you know, history of like long-term relationships and all that. I don't have that because I, you know, it just hasn't happened for me for a multitude of reasons. It has not happened for me yet.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Well, I guess he has two from the previous marriage. They're with us part-time every other weekend. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Yeah, I've thought about all the scenarios and I guess the one thing that kept me from giving him that ultimatum is the fear that he won't follow through with the getting treatment. And then I would have to Either him move out or remove myself from the home because I don't want it to affect the children.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
want to avoid i don't want to spend 15 years like i know a lot of people in his family and his friends and a lot of your a lot of callers that i've heard on your show where they've been going through this for 10 15 20 years i'm trying to not spend the rest of my life trying to get over this hurdle that's right you know and nip it in the butt now before it does end up in divorce
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
That very thing, anorexia in relationships, that's specifically what I'm in the 12-step program to work on. And You know, I got a great sponsor. I even have a dating plan where I said, like, for example, one of my goals in my dating is go out on three dates with a guy before I say no, because in my anorexia, I will come up with a reason to get rid of the guy quickly.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
I will judge a man out of my life so fast. And I am a little bit on the intolerant side of the tracks where a man can make some little infraction and I'll get annoyed and shut him down.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
I am trying to get over a married male coworker. This feels like an emotional affair waiting to happen.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
That's a great question, and I try it. One of the things that distancing looks like is when I have to engage him because I am support staff. Sometimes I have to do things for him. Every morning I text my sponsor and I say, hey, today I'm only going to talk to him about work-related things.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Like, like I called you when I was, I'm calling you because like, after all the work, I'm still crawling across the floor and tears. Like, when is it going to take? Like, he's absolutely, I, I realized that he's, he's certainty. When I go out on all these dates, Dr. John, there's so much uncertainty, but there's certainly in going to work every day and knowing this guy is going to
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
do whatever he does. There's certainty in that. So absolutely, I know he is my drug. He's definitely, definitely. And I'm hating it. I'm hating it because I thought when I set my boundary back in October, I could just turn and walk out of his office and be done. And that just hasn't been the case. And I just don't know what to do with these emotions and these
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
And, you know, when he's casually walking around the office talking about how much he adores his wife and that that knife that turns in my heart, I don't I don't know what to do with that stuff. That's the stuff I'm struggling over.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
It's a great place for me professionally, but it's interesting that you said that because of a couple of weeks ago, um, My boss doesn't know all the details. She only knows I had a difficult conversation with this man. She doesn't know that the days I miss work is because of him. She doesn't know that stuff. Hold on, hold on.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Tell me about that. Because being in his presence is tough. Some days being around him is tough. So the next day I stay home.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Dr. John, I am looking for the next right move. Uh-oh. why are you in the wrong place well let's hop into it and uh you can tell me oh great okay what's up okay dr john i am trying to get over a married male co-worker run i've set boundaries with him dr john it's these emotions i don't know how to get past my emotions my feelings like I feel like I broke up with somebody. You did.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Or is it something that you... A few weeks ago, I would say a few weeks ago, I did in a friend and program called me on it. I will tell you, I haven't missed work in the last few weeks. This was like the first few weeks after I confronted him, those first few weeks I was missing work. Lately, I have not. I am doing better with that. But I definitely hear your point. And
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
Like I said, a friend and program called me out on it like, hey, I think you're giving this a lot of power. I think you're feeding this. Here are some things you should do differently.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Fell for a Guy at Work . . . But He’s Married
And I'll be the first to admit I don't like uncomfortable feelings, which is why I called this show. I don't understand.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
And I think that's where I've hit that spot.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
I'm attracted to another man.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
I'm attracted to another man. He is very different from my husband. And my husband is great. And this guy seems great. Their jobs are very different.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
He would be... fine, normal conversation, he would be... Well, I know he would be like, okay, well, what's that mean? Like what? And so he would put it on me because I'm the one trying to figure it out. And so if I said, I'd love to have a conversation we'd never have before or haven't had before, he'd be like, okay, like what? Like we go on a walk and talk about tree leaves or something?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
I don't know how he would...
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Yeah. We do joke about that. We don't have that superpower.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Okay, so I haven't crossed the line for physical contact. However, I'm doing everything I can to not make an excuse to bump into him, have alone time with him. Okay. So he is very different from my husband, and my husband is great, and this guy seems great, so maybe they're not that different. Um, physically they're very different.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
It's just a busy life. It is a good life. It's just, it's just, I'm, I feel behind every single day. It's like when I wake up, like, Oh my gosh, here we go.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Um, their jobs are very different and I am attracted to, uh, this guy.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Um, I don't feel, uh, boring like plain Jane. Okay. Um, it's just almost like a fantasy life in my head of what would it be like to have a life with him versus the life I've created.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Yeah. But I still need your advice.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
And I have talked to my husband about this also.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
I think I was hoping for that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
It is. That's why I'm calling and being vulnerable.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
I said, hey, there's a guy in town that thinks I'm cute and fun. And... My husband said, yeah, I bet. And I think... Hold on.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Yeah, I did. I didn't say there's a guy in town I'm very physically attracted to. I said there's a guy in town that finds me fun and attractive.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Um... No, I think I was asking my husband, like, how do I trust myself not to enter into an affair in a very roundabout way?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
I think that's what I'm worried about the most. Like, honestly, dropping a hotel card at this guy and just
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
I am trying to stay faithful to my husband.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Okay, that's fair. That's fair.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Well, I'm a terrible liar, so it would probably implode.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Okay. We have a successful business that we've built from nothing.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
And it's so much work. And This is a lonelier time of year. Sorry, I cried. It's okay. Because we don't see each other very much during the winter. My husband works incredibly hard, but he works very long hours because this is the time of year we make our money. And it's kind of a ride the wave thing.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
And then we get to January and February and it slows down and he can come home for dinner and we can talk about anything besides work.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Yeah. Yeah. And I do love my husband.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
No, that's what we're doing.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Cause I've tried to make some boundaries.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
I'd like to give him my number. I would like that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Hi, Dr. John. Thanks for taking my call. Of course. How are you, love? You doing all right? Hey, doing okay. Just, uh, I need your advice.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Yeah, I'll have to think about that. That's a good point.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
I think I like the idea and I think he looks like a great kisser.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
No, that's me. He's very in shape and very handsome also. I'm the one you just described.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
I don't like being tired and... All of the daily, you know, the kid is sick and the school is calling and there's work. And I don't like the daily. I'm kind of tired of that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
Okay. I am trying to stay faithful to my husband.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Married, But I’m Attracted to Someone Else
But for the temptation, just, I just don't buy it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
I'm doing pretty good.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
I'm just here today, I guess, talking about... It seemed like an embarrassing topic, but I've had issues with my husband.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
I'm trying to get him to have more... intimate, very intimate. I just want him to have sex with me more often.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
A few months. About four months. We got married in November. How long have y'all been together?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
somewhat four years, five years, like a breakup in between, but we met in college and then, you know, we finished college and then we had a long distance relationship. And then after we finally got settled down, got a place and some cars and jobs, then, you know, we got married.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Well, it's always been our objective to wait until we were married. We did mess up a little bit at the beginning of our relationship. And then, you know, we stopped and we were like, you know, we want to wait. So about three years after, before we got married, we didn't do anything.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
And now we're married and it's almost like... You're ready to rock it on to the break of dawn and it's not happening, huh?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
I mean, he says that he would like to or whatever. Because he tells me I'm beautiful and stuff, all that. And he loves to do this and that. But then he doesn't. Does he push you away?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Physically, like, he'll hold me and touch me and stuff like that. But when it comes to actually doing it, it's rare. Like, at first, when I first asked about, you know, this call, we didn't really do it. Now, since then, it's been, you know, a few, a handful of times. But that's out of, like, four months or so. And I was like, is this normal? Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Well, he prefers, honestly, when we get to that point, he usually would say, well, I'm not in the mood. And he prefers to honestly hop on his game. Sometimes when we do do it, he goes as far as what he kind of wants to do. And he might touch me here or there. But other than that, it's what he's feeling or what he wants. And then I'm done or I'm tired.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
And that's those very few cases because he just.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Yeah. Yeah. If he does it. Yeah. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Well, at this point, yeah, because it's – yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Well, I'm glad you mentioned those things because... He did go through foster care for a little bit when he was growing up. And I thought it was kind of ironic that you mentioned that because I honestly was sexually abused for a long time while I was growing up by my own father.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it happens, unfortunately.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Well, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I had to find that out.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
I'm glad I found it out, though. I'm sorry. Oh, it's fine.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
It's not fine. Well, yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Oh, I appreciate that. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Somewhat. His parents did have to get a divorce, and then his father had to fight for custody because they were more willing to give him to his mother instead of his father. But his mother wasn't the best parent at the time, and he ended up going with them.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
home to home for a little second and some of the people weren't the best or even as a child tried to force him to drink alcohol for like, you know, because they thought it was funny to see the reaction of a child drink alcohol. But he got out of that, thank God, and his father got him back full custody and he raised him from that point. So that was good.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Oh, wow. Oh, thank you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Oh, I appreciate that a lot. Thank you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
All right. I'll start off with my question, which is, how can I overcome the negative feelings I have about my in-laws for the sake of my husband and my children?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
I mean, there's a little bit of resentment because I feel that Sometimes they simply do not care about our rules and wishes when it comes to certain topics, especially revolving around our kids.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
All right. So main one that's been bugging me a lot is, and this has been ongoing for years, is the amount of gifts my daughter receives. At the beginning, it was just holidays and birthdays. But I might sound a little bit ungrateful here, but this is like nothing you've ever seen before in terms of the amount of gifts. And in the beginning, my husband has asked very nicely for it to be reduced.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
But then after that, It got to a point where he had to ask very not nicely to the point where a couple of Christmases ago, there was a little bit of drama. He had made her cry, but we thought at that point that we had gotten through to her. And I say we, but in reality, it was him doing most of the talking.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
But actually, that did not change much, and it turned into mostly gaslighting, telling him this is her right as a grandma to do these things and to drop it. And there's a reason I ask my question the way I did, and it's because I've kind of given up on getting her to change her behavior, and I'm trying to find ways to... Yay!
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Yeah. Hey, so new dad here. How old? I just had like 12 days. Oh, dang, Gina. So you're in it, in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. New, brand new kid. Awesome kid. Okay. Very cool. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. So my wife and I are struggling with breastfeeding.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Well, I know you're a new dad.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
That way I could help her. Bro, I tell you what. You're struggling so much. Yeah. I see her struggling and we have this, I call it the baby Keurig, right? It's like this formula machine and you can just press a button and there's a bottle. And so I just want to give my baby a formula bottle when I see my wife break down every single night. And I get that breastfeeding is super important to her.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
I don't really see it as that big of a deal, but I know since it's important to her, it should be important to me. And I just need some new tools to help support her. Sure.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Yeah, I mean, both of those, right? Okay. Both of those, and then just extremely painful.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Just, I think yesterday was her first lactation consultant. Okay. How'd that go? We, you know, I guess she learned a few exercises or strategies or whatever to try out. Okay. So we're going to try those tonight.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
I'm trying to find ways for me to deal with it because I'm becoming this naggy wife that I don't like, and I don't want my husband to have to deal with me complaining. You know what I mean?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Yes, that's where I'm at.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
So I guess it's in the moment, you know, at 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock at night when we're trying to feed and she's crying and frustrated.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
What, you just like sit there and...
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
How can I overcome the negative feelings I have about my in-laws? There was a little bit of drama. He had made her cry.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Well, she's not so much of a show-off, but she definitely took control of a lot of things.
The Dr. John Delony Show
He’s Perfect, but He Doesn’t Turn Me On
I think so. Yeah. If you dial outside of your area code, you still have to do that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Oh, I know. Believe me. It's like, you don't even have to put on a long sleeve shirt in the mornings. It's just like burning up hot, but yeah, I understand. So weird.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Okay, so I typed out my question. I hope that's okay. I tend to ramble if I don't do that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
What does he do all day? I don't know. He says he's busy. You've been with him 20 years.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Okay, perfect. So my husband is an alcoholic. And one part of the lifestyle that I'm still learning to adapt to is that he surrounds himself with other alcoholics.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Um, we've been married about two years now and we have two babies, so we kind of were quick with everything.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
What does he do all day? I don't know. He says he's busy. You've been with him 20 years.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
I know, I know. And that's not even why I'm calling you. It's not even about him. But yeah, I'm speaking out counseling outside of this phone call to kind of talk through some of my marital issues and stuff. The alcoholism, you know, it kind of seems fine at first. I know that sounds so stupid, but I've never been around alcoholics. So it's just like, oh, this party guy, he's so much fun.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
And then you get married and you have kids and you realize like, okay, this isn't fun anymore. This is a huge burden. So yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Yeah, I definitely haven't felt peace in a long time.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Yeah. Yeah. And that's something that scares me to death. You know, I want my kids to have the best life and the best parents. And he's a great guy. He just has a lot of trauma that he won't really talk to anybody about. So I think he just kind of drowns it away. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
So my question is, how do I know if I'm the problem at work and figure out what I'm running from?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
So I'm 30, and I've just had, like, it feels like a million jobs. I work really hard, and I got offered another position, and I remember what you say of you go with you, and so I paused for a minute and... can see different patterns where I feel like I make mistakes and blame it on other, other things and then go to the next opportunity and the next brightest thing. And I work really hard.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
But it feels like I take too much on.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
I mean, I grew up on a farm, and so hard work is really valued, and you keep hustling and keep rolling in that sense, and I think that has stuck with me, but in a good, mostly good way. Yeah, sure.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Right now, I'm a teacher and a provisional license. I don't know what I'm doing, but... I guess I got... Somebody reached out for a PhD, which let me go back to doing marketing, which is what my background was in. And it would take a move, but the research side of it could open up a lot of doors with community development and things like that in rural communities.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
And so I just have to decide, I guess. But my grad school advisor suggested me, but... All I can think about is how I messed up my thesis really bad, so why would I, again, let you go with you. I just see so many common threads.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Yeah, that's what I think, and I just take on too much. Like, the thesis grew too big, and I'm a teacher, and I'm here till midnight all the time, but everyone's still complaining it's stuff not done right.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Yeah. And I need to be their safety net. That's That's very obvious to me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
It just hit me that, yeah, I do, but it takes so much work. I can't do both. So I've just thought maybe I'll pick one and go with it and be a teacher. And I'm Christian and you work hard and serve Christ and it works out in the end in heaven. So I think that's what I'll do.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
That's what I've asked. I guess it distracts me and makes me feel important.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
I don't know. I can't figure out how to turn it off. If I work slow, then I'm at church doing stuff with the homeless ministry. Like, I don't know. I just always am doing something.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
I mean, I meet a lot of people.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
The only way you pencil it is if you do get paid. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Oh, sorry. I guess I want a family, but you can't just wait for that to happen. And it doesn't work to do teaching and have a family.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Yeah. The program that I coach, a club, and it takes so much time. I don't think I could do it. I think I'd have to get a different position because I can't do it halfway.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Well, I've worked hard to organize church groups to meet together and different churches to get together and stuff like that because that's what you talk about and that's what the world needs.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's heavy and it's a lot and it's something I can't even, I feel like I can't be fully present at work or at home or anywhere cause it's such a big stressor. And, uh, and I just want to keep everybody happy and safe and, um, yeah. So I hate to go off on too much of a tangent cause that's a really, really big can of worms to open, you know?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
I want you to... Oh, go ahead.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
So does caring for me look like just doing less work? Like, what does... I don't even know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Um, but what I wanted to ask you today is, um, And you may have just answered this passively, but his best friend in particular makes me very uncomfortable. He's an alcoholic. I guess I would consider my husband a bit more functioning. His best friend is not very functioning. And he comes around all the time.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
All right. This is from Haley. She says, am I the problem for being upset that my family chose a vacation over my college graduation? I'm currently a senior in college pursuing a bachelor's of science degree in public health. I'm a first-generation college student and have paid my own way through all four years of schooling, so this day is extremely important to me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
When I informed my family of my commencement day in the spring, my mom told me that they'd be on a cruise that week with no thought to try and find a different date. The ceremony is five months away with plenty of time to find alternate dates. Am I the bad guy for thinking they should reschedule their vacation even if they lose money?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
And I was wondering if I am justified in asking my husband to stop bringing him around me and my kids or if it's, you know, something that I need to work on.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
No, I agree. So I was a first-gen college graduate in my family, and my dad died five days prior to my graduation.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
But my entire family still came because it was so important. Again, first-gen college grad. And it was so important that they all showed up because it's what you do.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Exactly. That's exactly what it is. And he's never done anything super obvious. Doesn't matter. But it scares me. It scares me. And since having kids, just anybody drinking really puts my defenses up, you know, and I really have a hard time letting people in.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Um, and, but it scares me to death that one day I'm going to turn my back and he's going to try to pick one of the babies up or he's going to trip over them or, you know, just anything. I don't know. It just scares me to death. And my husband doesn't get that. He, he just doesn't understand where I'm coming from at all. Uh, so yeah, it just scares me to death.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Yep. I've had that in my gut, you know, for so long now. The idea that if he comes home drunk tonight, I'm taking the kids and leaving. Or if he brings his friend over tonight drunk, I'm taking the kids and leaving. And, you know, it constantly plays in your head. And it's this constant reenactment in my head of what's going to happen and what I'm going to do. And I'm just waiting for that moment.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
But listen, listen, listen.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Right. And I've tried to make it so obvious, you know, like I will pack the kids up and go somewhere and I won't come home until, you know, I just feel like I can just put the kids in bed and, you know, like close the doors and try to make it obvious that I'm trying to stay away from them when they're drinking. And it's not obvious at all.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Yeah. No, it's nice to hear it, you know, because I know, I know it's been gone and I know I'm not able to save him, you know, and I think that's what I wanted to do all along is save him because he has a lot, a lot of trauma and a lot of, um, just a history of family, you know, trauma and everything. And I think I've just wanted to save them this whole time.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
And reality hit me, you know, probably a few months ago that, um, I'm not able to do that. Um, I can't say somebody, they have to, they have to do it themselves, I guess. So yeah, it's just, it's a hard pill to swallow. Cause I do love him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Hey, Dr. John, how are you doing?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Right. Absolutely. Yeah. And didn't really think about it like that, but I, it is like he's sending me a message that he's telling me that he's choosing alcohol over us because it's That's what it's felt like for ever since I started bringing it up, you know, a year or a year and a half ago.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Um, not much. It's only like 75 degrees in the middle of December here. So, you know, just sweating down, but it's so, so weird.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Absolutely. Um, but yeah, I, yeah, it's just, he doesn't want to open up to me. And I think there's a lot of demons there that he doesn't want to open up to me about.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend Around Our Family
Oh yeah. Yeah. Fantastic.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
So I feel like this has opened up a whole other can of worms.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Telling them they're beautiful or really awesome and, you know, any guy would be lucky to have you and stuff like that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Nothing much. So just to get straight into it, I'm wondering how I can navigate feelings of comparison and altogether my insecurities within my relationship, feelings of comparison to my girlfriend's late boyfriend who passed away about three years ago now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Yes. Yeah. And it was definitely secretive and behind my back and crossed a very clear boundary.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Usually when my trust is broken, just historically, that's really hard to get back, whether it's been in a romantic relationship or friends or family. I felt like I could always recover from a relapse in terms of building our trust back. But when it involves, when there's another door that's been opened with, potential cheating before we were married, that kind of changes things for me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
And I'm afraid that I can't ever build that trust back no matter how hard he's willing to try.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
I have a really, um, the, the text messages make it seem that way. I, I, he doesn't know that I have found that information.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, I know it was before we were married, but.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Yeah, exactly. And, um, it feels like I went in with pure intentions and a pure heart and he didn't. So it hurts. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Yeah, I feel like our dynamic has changed, definitely.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Yep, correct. So they dated for nearly two years and he went away into the armed forces and he committed suicide. Or that was the story that was, or not the story, that was what was said. There's some shady circumstances there, but altogether that was what happened. He committed suicide. And so she lost him suddenly and, you know, it breaks my heart every day for her.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
They've been good. For the most part, they've been good. I definitely, he can sense that something has changed in me because it's hard for me to be vulnerable after seeing things like that. Hard for me to be my normal self with what I know now. But I do plan on being very, very transparent and open about everything that I found.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Yes. Yeah, absolutely. I know I can't control the things he does or how he reacts, but it doesn't take away from any bit of fear that I hold.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
With the marriage? I don't know. What's your gut tell you? That it will never be the same. Exactly what you said.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Something in me says I have to try.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
So yeah, that's, that's her story with that. So what's your story? My story is that, well, first off, you know, I haven't been many longterm relationships. I've been in one in my life and I was younger. I was in high school. Um, and so, you know, I'm kind of new to this. I'm still navigating it. But when it comes to this situation, um,
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Probably love. Most likely it's love, but it's also, I can't, Sorry. You're okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Something about throwing away a marriage with this person who is my best friend just breaks my heart. Yeah. Especially if he's doing everything to fix it and build it back up. And I can't. I feel like I'm betraying him now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Yeah. I mean, I felt crazy about it. Cause I never had any worry. There was no reason for me to ever think it was like a punch to the gut. Cause there weren't any, any signs that I knew of. So yeah,
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
I wrote down in a journal, it's the ease of lying. That someone could so nonchalantly and easily lie and tell a story that is so... The way they talk about it and look me in the eye, it's so believable. And I beat myself up that I didn't see that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
if that's even the right word for it situation, I would say that, you know, it's, it's hard to, for me to, um, you know, sometimes when I am with her, I feel as if maybe she's not as present with me as, you know, I'd like her to be possibly. It says, those are the right words. Um, But, you know, like I said, it breaks my heart for her every day. I can only understand how she's feeling.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Hey, Dr. John. How are you this morning?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
So my question is how to best help my daughter and protect the family when she has and has had since she was probably about 10, maybe earlier. Extreme anger outbursts, they could be connected to borderline personality disorder. According to some of the research I've done, I don't know exactly what it is, but it's been pretty destructive in lives.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
hers and ours well how do i how do i help her how do i protect people and also how do i deal with my own trauma when those things come up um yeah thanks for calling there's a couple of variables here how old is she she is 28 are there little ones involved she has kids she has three how old are they 11 8 and 5 is she married She is not married. She has been with her current partner for 10 years.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
He is the father of the younger two, the oldest one. She does not have custody of, but she does get some time with her.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Because she and the father were married and things blew up a number of times. She ended up leaving a little over a year after the marriage and did not bring the baby with her. And really didn't pursue custody.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Not really. At that point in her life, I don't think there was any substance abuse. There was some physical violence with her husband at the time. They divorced pretty soon after that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Yeah. And allow me to clarify a little bit. She is not... When I talk about outbursts and explosions and things, for the most part, except with her... except with her first husband and her partner. She is not violent. Like, she's not violent with her kids. Okay. I've been really closely associated with the family for a really long time. So... So I feel like you're speaking really at 30,000 feet.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
I'm the first guy that she actually went on a date with or has been in a relationship since those three years ago.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
She... She explodes verbally. She swears at people.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Yes, all of that. And she says vile things, kind of like her dad did with me, just really personal attacks. She doesn't confine it to the person. She expands it to everyone she knows that they care about. It's really difficult.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
She is my daughter. I do know about a lot of the experience that she had. Tell me about her experience. Yeah. So I was married for about 14 years to her dad. He did the same thing. Her grandma on his side has the same propensities, and I've seen that from her as well. I understand that there's probably a genetic component to this.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
One of the things that I'd like to understand is... I know I'm not answering your question quite, but I would like to understand... If there's more. When we're talking mental illness, which I wasn't aware of when I married him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Okay. Sorry. It's okay. When I married him a long time ago, I had no idea about mental illness. And it was a really long, really traumatic marriage. But I saw her get hurt.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
by him specifically and I feel like and I'm working on protecting myself I'm sorry not protecting myself but forgiving myself for not protecting my kids have you told her that I'm sorry say that again have you told her that yes how did she receive it flippantly
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Yeah, so that's exactly my concern is that I think it's probably my ego or something around there that's bringing up these feelings of, you know, oh, she's thinking about him. or in this moment she's thinking about him, when it's really not true and it's more or less just my assumptions, I need to reframe the whole situation in a way in my own mind.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
She has had psychiatric treatment evaluation.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
She has been diagnosed with severe anxiety, depression, and she has been diagnosed as bipolar.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
I believe it's probably been, oh goodness, six or seven years. She has had... Part of the challenge of this, Dr. John, is that she... has been to psychiatrists and psychologists and counselors. And she does do a lot to help herself to grow and to grow out of the trauma that she has experienced. And so most of the time in public situations anyway, and even at my house, she doesn't explode anymore.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
But she's much more comfortable at her house And so I've just... I don't think that's true.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
No, no, no. It's her partner that she explodes on the most.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
I think that it's possible and probable that he is probably the safest person for her. They talk about everything, but she displays some of the things that her dad did too, where she's just
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
scared all the time that he's going to cheat which he is not he's ultra loyal um as one would need to be to be with her um and but so tell me how i can help you because we can't help her she's not on the phone how can i help you okay so um it has been a long journey with her And what I would like to know is as her mom and someone who has decided, I have been doing therapy myself.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
I have a lot over the years. Some of the trauma is coming up as I do some therapy and I am trying to figure out how to help her because this is the lifetime thing. And I don't know enough about whatever the mental health issues she has, what could benefit her? I understand boundaries. We work really hard on those.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
I'm so sorry. There's a crow right there. If I can get away from it a little bit.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
I'm not quite sure... That I'm trying to do that. What I'm trying to figure out is now. And what I'm trying to figure out is what to do now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
We have a lot of contact. We have the kids over. It's different.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
She doesn't say, how do I stop this? She does call and say all those. She gives me all the details. She doesn't say, how do I stop?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
I do. I'm sorry. I don't mean to throw something else in there. But we are in contact. I mean, she texts first thing in the morning. Generally, she calls in the morning. She calls in the afternoon. We... We have contact all the time. That's part of why I know so much, which is awesome. I have been very deliberate and intentional about cultivating relationships and safe relationships with her.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
So you're saying in part that change...
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
When we connect, part of the challenge is that I make her angry.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
I do. And I wonder how to... be a restful place, a more restful place for her with all these GPS pins that she has.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
So how do I... When there's another traumatic event that brings up the memories of all the other traumatic events, and there have been a lot... one of the things that my current therapist says that I am really having a hard time with is you just talk about it. I found that when I just talk about it, I... It makes it harder to live. It makes it harder to not carry anxiety.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
It makes it harder to... How do you... How do I heal?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
No, and that has been my challenge. Part of my therapy has been two or three years in a room with someone, but I have anxiety attacks when it comes to that. I mean, when it comes to talking, revisiting, going back to some of those things. And I don't know how to resolve those except that the ways I know to resolve them.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
And that's exactly what I thought that I was doing this whole entire time because I don't mind if she does bring him up or anything like that. I actually want to hear about him. I do. Do you tell her that? I do. I tell her that all the time. Why do you want to hear about him? Because I want to know how to love her better.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Like I said, I'm not really sure why I do it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Bringing him into it, being myself. I mean, just putting my whole self into the relationship, being myself.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
I become so vulnerable and she doesn't accept me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
I'm wondering how I can navigate feelings of comparison to my girlfriend's late boyfriend. They dated for nearly two years and he went away into the armed forces and sometimes when I am with her I feel as if maybe she's not as present with me as I'd like her to be.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
No, I do not think she's lying to me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
Because one thing I do, like sometimes, like you just said, it could be a skill set issue, like lack of experience. But sometimes, you know, like I said, again, it's me. It's all just my own insecurity. But if she does, you know, she says she loves me and it's like, huh, do you really? Like, you know, it's, and I know she does. In my heart of hearts, I know she does.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
My question is, how do I heal and rebuild trust after my husband's relapse and betrayal when I'm afraid I will never fully recover?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Her First Boyfriend Died . . . I’m the New Guy
So my husband had about almost two decades sober. Okay. He relapsed and... I went through his phone, found some inappropriate messages with his ex-girlfriend from when we were dating before we got engaged, and then some other women, and then also found some messages since we've been married of just validating other women and stuff like that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Hey, it's all good. So basically my big question is, is mine and my husband's sexual differences pertaining to, um, I have a high sex drive. He does not do do medical reasons. And that's a big issue within our marriage. Um, mostly on my side.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Um, and so I'm right now trying to see whether or not it is worth the energy anymore to try and get my husband hopefully along the same line as me, or at least trying to put effort into it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Yeah, I'm not proud of it. Of course I'm not.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Total. And we have kids. And, you know, I understand the stress, of course. We have four children.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Yes, to be honest, I have. And I have come clean about those.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
I have, it gets to the point where it becomes such a big buildup and I feel in a way abandoned, even though I've communicated and my husband's aware of my sex drive to where I've gotten so frustrated. I have stepped out on my marriage and infidelity has happened. I'm not.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
at all dismissing it I know it's not right but I'm just sometimes kind of getting in the point of is it fair for me just to be told that well this is just how it is so just deal with it or I think I think both things are true I think both things are true
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Exactly. But I've also, since going through all this, I've come to terms that in a lot of ways, I wasn't really raised per se with a very healthy, you know, setup pertaining to relationships.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
He's not so... He has ED, but it's not due to testosterone. It's due to a blood flow issue. He himself, like we sat down and talked about this on multiple occasions, and it just seems that we always go slowly back into the same thing. But...
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
I have communicated to him that, you know, while I'm understanding and I don't, I'm not angry at him for having this medical condition, you know, I still have needs as well. And that, you know, always kind of turns into him taking that extremely defensively, which is understanding and him being like, well, I feel like you are saying that I wanted this issue.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
he has gone to a doctor in a male's clinic. We, that's where we got his testosterone, um, checked and he's fine there. Um, but with that, that's where we found out as well, the kind of, the type of ED he has.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Yeah. Yeah. He's tried medication through like hymns and stuff. We've tried Viagra, um, And things still aren't really working to where it's slightly building up again in a form of also slight frustration and resentment somewhat. Because during obviously our intimate times, because I have to give so much attention to him, he's able to be fully satisfied in ways where...
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
I'm not because I have to be understanding of his situation. And so I feel slight buildup overall due to the fact that we're not able to physically have it very often. But also in the times that we do, I in a lot of ways feel unsatisfied because I'm not able to be taken care of due to that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
I've brought up sex therapy and he's open to it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
And that's exactly what has happened on so many different occasions, and it's frustrating.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Yeah, because I just literally last week, we had a conversation where... I said that he needs to go to therapy. Otherwise, I'm going to heavily think about separation. And he flat out asked me, well, is this an ultimatum? And I'm like, in a way, yeah. Obviously, I don't want it because I do love him. I mean, we've been together since I was 19, 20.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
And so we've been together for our whole entire pretty much young adult lives. And I want it to end with him as well. But I just feel like I just am always the one having to, you know, meet in the middle and the one having to compromise all the time. And I don't feel that being reciprocated, which is just frustrating.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
And yeah. And it's like, I have been able to really do like have no issues, but it's just, I just get so frustrated when I communicate with him and I, I, again, don't see a change. There's days where when he's off, I'll be like, hey, I'm in the mood and I'll try to instigate it. And he's just like, well, I'm not feeling it today and I want a drink or something. And I'm like, oh, okay, that's fine.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
And I'll just walk off. Okay, but do you realize it's not about sex?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
We do somewhat disagree on either. Well, not as heavily as it used to be pertaining to finances. I mean, I can acknowledge we are what some would consider slightly comfortable. Like, I'm middle class, but, you know, I don't have to stress over a lot of bills. And so I feel like we're— But hold on.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
No, because he doesn't want to think about it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
He doesn't want to make any decisions or deal with it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Yeah, because... Yeah, he disassociates on his phone and he does help with the kids. And I mean, we do have opportunities of, you know, having discussions and whatnot. But what does tend to happen is every now and then I'll bring something up and he'll be like, well, I thought we were already over this. And I'm like, well, obviously not. We're not.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
I just bring something up to you and I give you the opportunity as a man to step up and follow through, right? I don't want to be sitting here reminding you because then it's going to feel like I'm nagging you. So I'm going to wait a few months, see if you're actually putting forth the effort. And if you're not, then I'm going to bring it up again.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Hi, Dr. John. Thank you for taking my call.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Okay, so... From watching your show, I feel like I've gotten more insight on how my parenting affects my girls. And it kind of brought forward this question, which is, will me getting plastic surgery, specifically me getting a nose job, negatively affect my two daughters? And if so, what are some things that I can do to kind of come to peace with that part of myself?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Thank you. It's like really weighing on me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
I feel like I'm like fighting with two parts of myself.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Yeah, that it was brought to my attention, my nose. So I was 10 years old and I was laughing. We were family friends and the boy next to me, he was probably a few years older than me. It was like, oh my gosh, your nose is so big when you laugh. And I was like, what? Because I never knew that. I thought about that. And then I ran and I looked in the mirror and I was like, oh my gosh, it is.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
And I feel like, that kind of realization kind of like morphed into this fixation and like obsession like from my son's son. So it's like every time I like am getting ready and I look in the mirror or I'm like in a picture with my beautiful family and like instead of looking at that, I'm just like looking at my nose or if I feel beautiful in all other ways, I'm just looking at my nose and
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
You know, as I grew up, I was just like, oh, like in high school and college, like, oh, okay, well, once I get my job and stuff, I'll just have surgery because that's something that you can do now and I can just save for it. And then, like you said, I started, you know, I had two girls who have really humbled me, put me into place and kind of made me really take a hard look at myself.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
And I just feel like when I'm talking to them about themselves and I feel like, like I said, a hypocrite. And, like, even sometimes they'll say things, like, my daughter, she's four, she'll be like, oh, my gosh, I look just like my mommy and be so happy about it. And it makes me so happy. But then I'm like, well, what if one day I just come back and change my whole face?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Like, what does that tell her? That, like, something's wrong with her face? Like, she needs to change and she's so happy about, like, looking like me and stuff.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Okay, so my husband, I feel like ever since up until recently, his opinion has been like, I never want to tell you what to do with your body. I want you to feel comfortable, and I want you to love how you look. And, like, I fell in love with your face, right? Like, I love your face. I'm nervous to wake up to a face that's different.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
And I understand that this is something that you need to do to feel good, but I love your face, and I don't want you to change your face.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
I don't know. I feel like that voice has kind of become like, My own. There you go.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
I feel like on a scale of like a small nose to humongous nose, like 10 being humongous, it's probably like a six and a half.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
But my thing is it grows forever, right? Like your nose, your ears, don't they like grow forever?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
I mean, I feel like I would probably feel the same.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
So, like, talking to myself how I talk to my daughters.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Not, I mean, my dad has some addiction issues and so I feel like my mom was a lot of the time just like in survival mode.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Um, yeah, we try. He's back in rehab now, which is good, but you know, it's just.
The Glenn Beck Program
Bud Light Insider Reveals What Led to Dylan Mulvaney Controversy | Guest: Anson Frericks | 2/20/25
We seem to be talking a lot about the same kind of application of technology with the research and all of that. My focus on it is how do we use AI future in different ways to the masses instead of in these boxes that the tech companies have. Massive boxes, complex boxes, cool boxes, but still just boxes in the grand scheme of life.
The Glenn Beck Program
Bud Light Insider Reveals What Led to Dylan Mulvaney Controversy | Guest: Anson Frericks | 2/20/25
And I think that you mentioned a while back in the Ray Kurzweil interview about self-driving cars. And I remember him saying that, well, people had no problem with that because it was expected. We're entering into that world of kind of unexpected. And I think there's going to be a little bit of pushback and a little bit of resistance.
The Glenn Beck Program
Bud Light Insider Reveals What Led to Dylan Mulvaney Controversy | Guest: Anson Frericks | 2/20/25
And that's good, because to your point about the questioning and the adoption of the technology. Can it be done? Yes. Will people use it? Ja, wir werden sehen. Ich meine, schau, wie schnell die Telefone adoptiert wurden. Aber weil es sehr bedrohlich sein wird, wird es dir fast alles geben, was du willst.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
We've been a traditional family for 50 years, enjoying the usual family gatherings, birthdays, Christmas, et cetera. We have two children, six grandchildren. Our oldest son has been with his partner for 20 years, and they have four children ages nine to 17. In the last two years, our son helped a woman who was in an abusive relationship, and she and her son became part of their family.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
It became apparent last year they are now in a polyamorous relationship. Also, our 17-year-old granddaughter is now a grandson. My husband and I can work around the latter, but cannot bring ourselves to accept the polyamorous relationship, and as we have not accepted it completely, we are now estranged from them.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
They have taken a different road, and we can't seem to find a middle road to gather with them. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1545 - The 'Mass Graves' Hoax Is Officially Dead, And No One Will Be Held Accountable
I got the email and I honestly feel like this is a great opportunity to outline what you as an employee bring to the federal government. And if it's really good what you outline, they could give you an opportunity to get a promotion or something. Like, God forbid they ask you what you've done. Any other job, they'll ask you at the end of the week, at the end of the month.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1545 - The 'Mass Graves' Hoax Is Officially Dead, And No One Will Be Held Accountable
Because I used to do bookkeeping. Okay, so what do we do, you know, at the end of the month? What are the clients that we have to, you know, gear towards to? So at the end of the day, God forbid anybody make any, and this is a democratic thing. It's like I don't want to get the parties into it, but they don't want to go to work. They want to work from home. People are not working from home.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1545 - The 'Mass Graves' Hoax Is Officially Dead, And No One Will Be Held Accountable
You know, this is what you signed up for. If you don't like it, resign. You know what I'm saying? They gave you the opportunity to find another job. I mean, it's not that hard. You're complaining about actually working. I don't get it.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1545 - The 'Mass Graves' Hoax Is Officially Dead, And No One Will Be Held Accountable
Absolutely, absolutely. I worked. I worked from home, and do you know what? Donald Trump got the... So there you go.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1521 - Trump Wages All Out War On DEI
Can we just drill down on this DEI initiatives piece for a moment? Because there's research that shows diversity is a strength that makes organizations stronger, whether federal or private. So what's the argument behind the scenes for getting rid of the DEI initiatives? Is it just we're getting rid of WOKE?
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Okay. Focused on, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
I've been in a spin for a real weekend, sir.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Thank you.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Well, what I'm fighting for is the other caregiver was abusing our client.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Last night at 8.30 at night, I got a text from my mom, long text, basically asking me to pitch in with lawyer fees. Now, this lawyer fee is not crazy like it is here because of the exchange rate, but it would be around like $500. And then she also said that Wednesday, tomorrow, she's going to be signing a contract with
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
$207,414.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
And there's going to be another additional fee that I would have to pitch in with halfway probably. Now, my husband and I, we have no problem doing this, but we are in baby step number two. We have been working really hard for 15 months. We are finally a little bit trying to be a little bit more financially responsible where my parents are completely the opposite way. I said no.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
And in the Brazilian culture, how dare you? So when I said no... No, that's just the mother culture. Oh, okay.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Oh, my gosh. It's just such drama. So when I said no, she stopped responding to my texts because then I asked... Is there any wiggle room? Like, when is this due? Is it due right now? Basically, in the text message, she was saying, give me $500 now. Give me a blank number, as she doesn't know, tomorrow. And so now she's basically not really speaking to me.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
That's right.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
And because I have two little babies at home, they talk to me all the time. So it's always been really hard for me to say no to them, especially when it comes to finances. Like I've they've put me into a ton of debt when I was before I got married. And now, you know, how much is Erica?
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
That's right.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
I don't know exactly. They would have to sell the entire house.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Around maybe $30,000, I would say.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Hey, how you doing? Thank you guys for taking my call. I appreciate that. Sure.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Well, I'm in a bit of a jam. I don't know how to get out of it. About three years ago, I had some parental issues that came up with my folks, and I got injured at work for about a year and a half. So I was on workers' comp payments. But I got myself into about $97,000 of credit card debt. I have a $32,000 personal loan. I have a $34,000 car loan and $18,000 in student debt.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Everything's up to about $181,000 in debt, and my mortgage is at $767,000. I just don't know how to get out of it. I can't get a loan to consolidate because... Doesn't matter. You can't borrow your way out of debt.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
My base is about $140,000 a year. With my overtime, I make about $180,000 to $220,000. And you're single? I have a stepson and a girlfriend that lives with me.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Do I say something like, I'll pay it later when I'm done with my... No. No.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
I broke my foot, so I was out for about a year and a half with two different surgeries. And before that, my parents. The property that I bought was about $811,000 that I financed. My parents were going to live with me. Oh, you have a property. Do you have a property now? I do, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
$767,000.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
I can't. My credit's too low.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Right, I wouldn't qualify for anything. I don't care. Go rent. Yeah, rent for a while, man. But the amount of money that I would have to pay off then and then all the money I'd have to move and the cost of the moving expenses, how would I get all that?
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Part of that is because I was on workers' comp and I didn't have my full income coming in.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
I'm paying for all my money that I'm getting. Every single dollar I'm getting, I'm putting straight towards credit cards. I just started listening to your book, and I've already paid off two credit cards. I got one more that I'm paying off. How much is that? How much did you pay off? The last one I just paid off was $2,476. And what was the other one? I paid half of a PayPal credit card.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Believe, sorry? Say again?
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Yeah, but I also have a personal loan that I'm paying $870 on. I can't sell my car because I'll be upside down on $14,000.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Your mom needs money for something else, doesn't she? Maybe. Yes, she does.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
I'm doing all right, Dave. John, thanks for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
So I was wondering what you thought. I'd like to take out $75,000 in student loan to get a bachelor's in construction management. But there's one caveat, which is that because I am a DACA recipient, I am not qualified for a majority of scholarships that are out there or any kind of federal assistance.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Yeah. So there's a trade school here locally that also has an online college. Okay. I basically do an electrician degree.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
And then that turns into a bachelor's in construction management.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Currently, I'm a graphic designer for a sign company.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
So, I mean, I'm 29, and for the longest time, I didn't know what I wanted to do. And then I went on a tour of this trade school and the courses that they have available, and it just clicked. Like, it just... It seems like something that it's with my hands, but it requires math and technical skill, which is something that I gravitate towards.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
And obviously, because I have a son and a wife, it's got to make money, too.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
There's a JC in my area that gives me the certificate for electrician, but I'd have to go to further out, like a two-hour city, to make it into anything that's higher education. Okay, here's the thing.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
No. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Well, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
That's right. The problem that my husband and I have is that they have like a bunch of assets that they could sell off. We went crazy selling everything that we had in our house.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
I'm 30. My husband's 33.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
In Jesus' name.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
I'm a homeschool mom, and I also tutor for our classical conversations to co-op.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Yes. Yeah. Got it done in no time. That's right.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
All right, so how much did you guys pay off? So $118,155.80. I love it. How long did this take, guys? Five years and one month.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
My husband makes $90,000 right now. I'm a stay-at-home mom.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
It was a little bit weird, especially when it was at the beginning of 2021. You were putting out the call for creatives to apply on the radio. And she's like, you have to apply right now. And I was like, OK, hang on. Let's think about that for a second. And but then I warmed up to the idea, applied, made it through the extensive.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
From Minnesota.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
At the tail end of all the COVID stuff.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
So a mixture of mostly student loans, so like $96,000 student loans, a couple of credit cards, personal loan, car loans, all the normal things.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
So in 2019, at the end of the year, we started receiving letters for collections for student loans. We were $10,000 behind on payments. Whoa. Yeah. And I got the letter and I didn't tell him. I hid the letter because he had a lot of anxiety and depression and just really struggling mentally with the debt situation. And then January, we got another letter and I realized it's not gonna go away.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
So I have to tell him. And I did. And then within a couple of weeks, we went to church and a very sweet couple, Matt and Krista Hammond got up and did a testimonial about paying off 100 and I think 30,000 in debt or 180,000. Sounds like us, yeah. Yeah. But they did it in three years. And I looked at Randall and I said, we have to take FPU. And so our class was supposed to start March 2020.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Oh, of course. Yes.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
And we got one in-person class. And then from then on, we did it over Zoom. And it pretty much took one class. And I was obsessed with it. And just like got on board, started listening to the show every single day, three hours, four hours a day. I was listening to all the back episodes and I was like, we are doing this. We're gazelle intense. It took him a little bit longer to.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Yeah, it was another like six months for me before I started seeing the pinprick of light at the end of the tunnel. I was in a really dark place before all that.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
I can't imagine a better environment to try to accomplish this than working here. It's the weirdest thing when literally everybody talks about their finances. Isn't that weird? I've got so much debt. We're working on it. We're paying it off. It's fine. And everybody's just really open about it and super supportive. And every time you're like, oh, I had this setback.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
And I'm like, well, just get back on the horse. And you're going to nail it instantly. You know, it's so rewarding just from that standpoint that, like, literally everyone's behind you. Like, every month we have the Walk the Talk thing with Jade getting up on stage. And, like, you're just motivated, like, all the time to make sure that you're getting there.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Thank you.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Randall's parents. They were probably our biggest cheerleaders, our biggest support. They helped us a lot. So we couldn't have done it without them. They're here with us today.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
No, they're from Destin, Florida.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Theron is 15 and Elias is almost 12.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
A lot of scissors at home.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Oh, just we had to take them out of Taekwondo. We, you know, they can go to church camps. They couldn't. We couldn't go to amusement parks, which we are from Florida. So we went to amusement parks a lot back in the day. Couldn't go to state fairs and county fairs. And so for that, that was the hardest part. Not getting to go out to eat.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
We went at part of part of our getting out of debt celebration was going out to eat.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Oh, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
I would say work. It's not going to happen if you have a tiny shovel and you're just going to sit back and expect it to happen. Like you said, you don't fall into debt. So for me, the first couple years, I did everything. I did Shipt. I did Instacart. I did DoorDash. I did Etsy shop. I did online evaluations. I did everything I could. And then 2021 and 2022, I had a neck injury.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
I had to get two neck surgeries. And I couldn't work for two years. And so that's why it ended up taking us longer than we expected. And once I got through all of the recovery on that and I could actually work again, I said, I'm done. Beginning in 2024, I said, I'm sick of this. We're going to get done. I got a full-time job as an online pickup clerk at Kroger. Hi, pickup team.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
And I, uh, tutored for homeschool co-op and I homeschooled. So it was just like work, work, work constantly. And it was less than a year later. We got it at debt.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
So I would also add to that, um, to everybody listening. Don't wait to start. I was in a hopeless place. But after we started, there's so much more hope on the other side of that.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Crossroads in Hastings, Minnesota.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Three, two, one. Win!
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Well, yeah, that's what I said. And she said, well, I don't have the money right now. And I wanted to be like, okay, then why did you go shopping Saturday?
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Unless something's wrong.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Hi, guys. At first, it's an honor to speak with you both. My family and I were big fans, so much so that my now two-year-old, one of her first words was 225, and we knew that she just wanted to listen to the show.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Thank you, Dave. I have a question about tax forgiveness. Okay. I was diagnosed with PTSD and a traumatic brain injury and got onto Social Security. Because I was homeless, someone taught me how to use one of the delivery platforms, and I was able to start working.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
But because those platforms don't take out taxes, I am starting an investigation at work regarding abuse, and they're going to investigate me. And I don't want my tax issues to distract them from the real issue that I'm trying to get taken care of. So I'm needing help with the tax forgiveness program.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
The last time I filed taxes was 2010. Fifteen years.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Five years, besides the disability I was getting before.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
That's right. So I wrote this down because I'm super nervous, but I hope that's okay. Sure. I'm originally from Brazil, although as of recently, I'm incredibly proud to say that I'm an American. The Brazilian laws make it super complicated to leave a customizable will.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Yes, I have since been triggered. I started in Portland, Oregon. There was the riots. And so, you know, and then I'm a caregiver as well. And, you know, I've been traumatized at work, especially about my current situation. So there has been I have still experienced panic attacks and things like that. But I am trying my hardest.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Yes, yes, yes. I was overwhelmed with the process. I had started several times looking into it, and then something would happen, and I would stop working and have to move again. So there was a lot of trauma.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
I honestly don't know, but it started out well. I mean, were you making $30,000 or were you making $300,000? I was making, at one point, I was making about $1,000 a week delivering.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
And that lasted for a few months, and then it, you know, went down from there to about maybe $2,000 to $3,000 a month.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Nope. I have not, partly because I've been moving around a lot because I'm still homing, housing insecure. Mm-hmm.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Well, the problem is Social Security refused to stop paying me.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
So decades ago, my grandmother decided that she was going to, it's called donate, a portion of her part of the estate that she had to split in half with her deceased husband. And I don't know exactly how much. I think my portion is like 30%. As of early last year, my aunt has been trying to steal this entire estate from my mother and I, who are the other two beneficiaries.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
Right now I have zero income and I have about $500 in the bank. I'm sorry.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
I did, but I was fired because I'm bringing up these abuse accusations. And so instead of investigating the abuse, they're investigating me. And so I'm trying to take care of this issue so it doesn't interfere with the abuse case that they're refusing to start. So it's a big mess.
The Ramsey Show
The Faster You Attack Your Debt - The Faster You Achieve Financial Freedom
It is. I did do that, and someone did reach out to me, but it was above my budget, so I didn't know if there was any kind of program that could help me. No. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
The only reason we had thought was him coming to us is because he can't do cleaning. He can't get out of bed on his own. And so him living separately, if he falls or something happens, he's not going to be able to care for himself. I get all that.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
I mean, not currently. We would have to convert the living room into a downstairs kind of bedroom area for him. Would you be willing to do that? Here's your options.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Because we were able to make the payment on the car whenever she was working. Okay. And she said that whenever she's able to get back to work, your car payment will be able to cover that too. Okay. But what she's wanting to do is she has $100,000 worth of student loan debt that we've already tried.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
We want to maintain the family relationship and not let there be any kind of divide there as well. We really do just want what's best for him in this scenario.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Yes, I have a question about how much of a percentage I'm currently putting into my retirement. I'm going to be 60 this year. My husband is 63, and we currently have about $400,000 in our retirement. But we also have a special needs young adult child that we know we want to plan for.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
We've just gotten to baby step seven two months ago, so I'm feeling still like I should hold on really tight, or can I relax a little bit, or where should I go? And I'm looking for some guidance on that.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
We've already went through a little road, and they're not in default, so we couldn't go through our refi. Okay. So we can't refi the student loans. She's current on those. The problem, though, is that where we're at with actually killing us right now is we have about $30,000 worth of credit card debt.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
It feels amazing, but I have lived until I found you all pretty hopeless about ever retiring. So I'm adjusting in my mindset to like, can I take my family on a vacation? Well, the answer is yes. And I always worry about the future for my daughter. I have two kids, both my oldest who have special needs and probably will never live independently. Sure. OK.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
So as of today, in my 401B, I have about $357,000. We just sort of discovered, you know, it feels shameful, but whatever, Roth IRA. So I've got $47,000 in my Roth 403B and my Roth IRA, individual Roth IRA for my husband and I.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
And I'm the primary income earner. He does caretaking for parents and our oldest child.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Well, I thought I would never retire before. I got some hope. So when I've been looking at it now, if I were to retire in seven years, you know, with that rule of seven, I think based on my calculations, I'd probably end up with about... And my current rate of, um, retirement savings, which is about 19% of my, of our income. Um, I think I'd have about 1.4, but I just don't know if that's enough.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
And she's wanting to do a debt consolidation loan. I've considered this. She's wanting to do a debt consolidation loan. In order to possibly wrap those all up into a lower payment, smaller than the payments that we have right now. And I was just kind of curious as to what your opinion is on this.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Monthly, I'm putting in 90% of my income. I'm sorry, 19% of my income into my retirement. So that's my match.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, my monthly right now that's going in to Roth for 3B is 2,622. Good job. And then I have going into my match is about 1,000, 1,210. Wow. Okay. So can we round that up, Jade, to what we got? Okay. So, yeah, we got 3,800, like, yeah, every month going in there.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
And I think that we also have another child, so they would split whatever we've got. That's the other. Yeah, good point.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
So he does part-time real estate. So it varies. So it's probably he's doing maybe six houses a year. It's not a lot.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
He's probably making $10,000 to $15,000 a year.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Monthly, I make $19.09 twice a month, so $4,000, something like that, $4,000 a month. Okay, and then what's hers? Hers is, I want to say $1,800.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
I did that conversion process. Right now, everything's tied up in my current employer's plan. So until I retire from that, I won't be able to convert. But that's my thought is to convert over time. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Hey, guys. Thanks for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
I have a two-part question, a little bit of background. I have worked for the last 10 years. as a travel nurse and I was making pretty good money, um, anywhere from like 16 to 18,000 per month. Um, and I'm a single mom of six and in December, one of my children, um, actually unfortunately tried to hurt themselves.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Um, and so I gave up traveling and I took a local contract to, um, to be there to support them. And it came with a huge pay decrease. Um, And so suddenly my budget was not very good and very affordable anymore. But unfortunately, I had never really managed that money well. Even though I was making a lot, I was spending even more. So I do have poor credit. I have an eviction on my record.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
I have a repossession on my record. And so when I kind of found Dave and Money Makeover and I sat down with Every Dollar Budget, the clear answer was to move out of our rental because we have a very expensive rental home. But as I started looking, nobody would rent to me.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
So the first part of my question is if you have any suggestions for alternative rental avenues to kind of get us out of this because that would free up a lot of my budget. And then the second part of my question is I've heard Dave say he has a Ph.D. in DUMB and things like that on the show. I am having a really hard time with that.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
the shame and the guilt of not being able to provide for my family because I made so many poor decisions. And if you guys have any advice on how I kind of jumped that hurdle of the emotional weight and just feeling so pathetic.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Not yet. No, right now her life is actually being controlled. Her pain is actually being controlled by medicine. And it's something called trigeminal neuralgia, which is, long story short, they call it the suicide disease because a dentist drilled into the nerve in her jaw.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Yes, and that is the plan. I do have a wonderful church family. I do want to say that. Oh, great. But like you said, I will swallow my pride and go wherever. Lean on them.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
That's the plan. We have good church family support and good family support that when he is in a little bit more stable place, other people can step in to be there in that role and I can get back out and make a lot of money quickly. Good.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Yeah, it's very, I don't want to say rare, but that's literally what it's called. And the only way to treat the pain is with anticonvulsants.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
I, um, I'm working on learning it. I did. Um, I purchased every dollar premium last month. Um, and I'm trying to, to work on that. Um, and yes. And more importantly, I've learned what the problem was, um, that I just wasn't budgeting. Um, and I've really, that's hit home to hear all of you, but especially Dave and many makeover that, that I'm just not even watching my money.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
So it's leaving and I don't know where it went.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Whenever she's not awake, she has to take the pain medicine. The pain medicine puts her to sleep. I'm sorry. Is there any end in sight? Yeah. Right now, no. There was a, well, and then that's something else too, is that we were told that there were two specialists that could do surgery for it, but there was a 70% chance that she would be healed. The surgery was going to be $30,000 out of pocket.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Hey. Hi, thanks for taking my call. The purpose for my call today is just to see if there's other options. besides filing bankruptcy. I've been told at this point that pretty much that is kind of my only option. I've heard of Dave Ramsey.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
I don't really follow the show, and I was listening to worship music, and ironically, a segment came up, and I happened to click on it and decided, you know what, maybe I should ask somebody else and see.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
No, so I just, I've been working in the mortgage sector for a very long period of my life. And in 2020, ironically, when the market was sort of going down because everybody wasn't able to work, we were super busy and slammed with loans. And so at that time, we were making a lot of money. But ever since then, and the market sort of turned again,
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Um, my company has done pay decreases and obviously we're no longer making bonus or commission. So that's really affected, um, my financials. And at this point, um, like I said, I've consulted with a few different attorneys and they're all kind of on the same boat. That really is the only option at this point is to file bankruptcy.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Oh, okay. Um, so you want like amounts of... Yeah. I want to know why this is so dire. Mm-hmm. Sure. So I make about 80 to 85 a year. And before, like pre-COVID, it was almost like 250. So it's a huge, huge difference in pay structure. My mortgage is about 305 right now. And I have about $160,000 in unsecured loans, meaning not tied to anything. Can you break it down? Yeah. Sure.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
One of them is like $83,000 and the other is the difference of that $160,000.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
And then the credit card. Hold on.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
No. So it's $83,000 is one of the personal loans. The other is the balance that makes up the $160,000. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Okay. And insurance would not cover it. I took a loan against my stocks. I took a loan against my stocks to pay off one of my credit cards to get a better credit score, so that way I could potentially get a loan for at least half, and then it was going to work as a payment plan. But they said that unless we were able to come up – if we could come up with half of it, they could do it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
No, that's just unsecured debt. That is not credit card.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
So $83,000 is to a credit union, and then the balance of the $160,000 between the $83,000 and that difference is to another credit union.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
No, I actually I sold all my autos. I've liquidated anything that was of value to try to pay up the difference. At this point, I'm even selling personal items just to get by like month to month. So I have nothing at this point. That's what's left.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
This has been going on for now, I would say, coming up to three years.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
I've been managing trying to pay my payments, and obviously I'm not late or anything, but I'm at the point where because my employer is planning on lowering my income again in the upcoming months, I've already been told that just based on business needs, I'm going to be at a point where I will no longer be able to make those payments.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
We're supposed to drop another $4 an hour, so we're paid hourly.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Well, if you take $4 times $41 an hour...
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
It might be a bunch of everything, to be honest with you. I mean, I'm not a victim in this situation. Obviously, I spent the money. I'm the one who spent it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
But then we got turned down for the loan, so right now there's literally nothing else. We're like on – there's no end in sight for this.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Um, I was, I don't know what you mean by investing. Like I was tithing to the church. No 401k retirement.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
It's like $2,300 every two weeks.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
2023 Hyundai Tucson. And we owe about $30,000 for it. And I booked it a couple of days ago. I think it books for like $23,000. $23,000 or $28,000? Like 23, I think.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
No. There's no other debt. Aside from, like I said, the credit card debt, it's about $30,000. And then she has $100,000 of student loan debt. The house is completely paid for.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Yeah, she she does the budget and then I review it with her. But it's not every dollar on the app. No, but we do have it written down. It is a written paper budget.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Yeah, we paid it off like five years ago.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Hi, guys. I appreciate you taking my call. I hope you guys are doing well today. Yes, sir. Brief and to the point, about last September, my wife had a major medical problem. Something happened medically that has left her to where she's on temporary disability.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Hi, thank you so much for taking my call. I'm calling because my father-in-law has been in the hospital in California for about three months, off and on in critical condition. My husband just came back from visiting him and was given financial and medical power of attorney for him. And
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
We have found after pulling his credit report because he's an avoidant personality that he is in an extreme amount of debt and he's behind on his house payments and we have no idea where to start to help him. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
He does not. We have applied for the state of California, but nothing has been done yet. He was on FMLA leave, but there is nothing. There is no income currently coming in for him.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Correct. So he ended up with a broken foot and he was walking on it because of complications of diabetes, had no idea it was broken and got septic. He has had three subsequent amputations and his progress just keeps getting back and back and back.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
So the debt picture is he has credit cards, a vehicle, and a home loan. His home, he is worth about $850,000 on a good day. He currently owes about $282,000 on that. His credit card debt, he owes about $26,000 on his car, and then the remainder out of that $65,500 is credit cards. How much is the car worth? Okay. I would say it may be worth probably about $18,000.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
So his situation is that they're trying to discharge him to a care facility based off of his medical insurance. He only has 30 days left at a skilled rehab facility. We have put in an application for Medi-Cal, the state health insurance, to try to get him some options. There's no current rehab facility to send him to.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Ideally, what my husband and I would like is to get him out here to Tennessee and maybe take the cell of his house and get into a home together to be able to care for him as he goes through the physical therapy and learning how to walk again and, you know, all of his medical treatments that he's going to need. But right now he cannot be moved from California. And how old is he?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
Well, thank you. The problem is that the temporary disability is less than half of what she was earning whenever she was working. Uh-huh, yeah. We're waiting for some sort of a resolution to come with us medically so that we should get back to work. But in the meantime, the four walls are built. I've asked her if we could sell the car, but that's a non-starter for her.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
We're renting. We're working the baby steps. We're on baby step two right now. We do have a special needs child, and so we've got probably about $20,000 left in debt ourselves. So the goal was to maybe use the equity from his home sale to go in on a home together that would have enough space for us to be able to take care of him and our family.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Panic Influence Your Financial Decisions
He's not making smart choices. He's been refusing medical care, uh, documented in his chart, but then he's telling us that he hasn't been, um, same thing. He says, Oh, I only have four credit cards. Then we pull the credit report. Does he have a, does he have a will? He has an outdated will that has his deceased wife on it, and he has a trust.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
This is a company that establishes solar farms, um, across the nation and they pay a good rate of rent for your acreage and they, and, uh, and you had two different offers from the same company.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Hi, thank you. So I just was wondering if I could get some advice. So I'm about to finish school, and me and my fiance are currently going to be about $700,000 in debt. And now that I'm finishing up, I'm starting to get a little worried. I'm worried, and I just met you.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
So I am finishing law school here tomorrow, actually, and my girlfriend is in her third year of medical school. Oh, my gosh. Both of you, okay.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
So her debt is what it will be at the end. So her debt currently is less. That calculation is with her. When are you supposed to get married? Uh, we're planning to get married, uh, next May.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
And she graduates when, um, it's going to be 2020. Twenty six or twenty twenty seven.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
So, you know, God willing, I will pass the July bar and September is when I would get those results. I have already signed a contract with a firm for one hundred and fifty thousand.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Okay. And her income, obviously during residency, they don't pay them very well. She's going to be coming in about 55, 60,000 a year. And she's in residency now, right?
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
I'm sorry. She's in her third year. She's in her third year of school. She'll be in residency in two years. So it will just be my income for the next two years.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
That is, that's the goal. And one of the questions I was wondering, so, you know, out of that $700,000, $350,000 of that is the student loan. The other $350,000 is the mortgage that I have on a property that we live in.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
It's $350,000 in student loans and $350,000 in a mortgage that we have about. When did you buy this house? So I bought this at the beginning of law school.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
I've been working and living off of student loans.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
So the rental market down here when I came to law school.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
The house is worth currently around $390,000, $400,000.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
No, I mean, so the way I, the loan is not through a bank. It is through a family member. and they deferred my mortgage for the three years that I was in law school. So I have not collected any interest, nor have I made any payments on the property.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Yes, sir. It's gone up about $45,000 to $50,000.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Doing great. Hi, Dave. Hi, Jay. Thanks for having me on. Hope you're doing well. Got a question for you, sir.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
expect to make it through step four within the next 12 to 15 months but right i'm looking i'm looking ahead here and uh i got kind of a unique mortgage situation and that's kind of what i'm wondering and kind of wanting some insight on so about four and a half years ago uh my in-laws helped us purchase a house and essentially bought the house for us and they're our lender
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
And so we pay them a mortgage every month, which doesn't include any type of escrow or anything like that. But I set up the payment based on what we could afford and we're never going to pay it off. And my in-laws have had that conversation with us and they're, they're in their late seventies now. So it's basically going to get folded into some sort of inheritance.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Is it in my best interest to essentially avoid step six in this situation? I'm a little conflicted because it's not really in our best interest.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
And what's the size of their estate? I don't know that exactly. I've never had that conversation.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
I would venture it's probably in the millions. I mean, he retired in his late 50s.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Of course. That's what should happen. That's something I thought about, but it's certainly an awkward situation to have. You know, no one ever wants to have that conversation.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Exactly. No, it is. It's kind of an oddball situation, and I'm not sure how often you've counseled somebody in this type of situation.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Yeah, so I'm just giving you guys a call just because I'm trying to follow your plan.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
I've been listening for a few months, and it's just at a point where I'm in baby step one, and my wife and I were making more money than we ever have, but our expenses keep going up, and I can't get to the point where I'm able to build that emergency fund up and even start to pay down debt more than just the minimum payments, which are a lot right now.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
So we just had to start paying for childcare full time because I work full time during the day and work a variable schedule. And so does my wife. It's very on demand. And, uh, so that's about $2,068 a month. Uh-huh. And, uh, and our minimum payments. Yes. Yeah. Um,
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Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
two girls um and i'm just having to you know pay for that and our minimum payments are large and they're cutting into our debt because a lot of them are like zero percent so low apr because i'm on payment plans what's your housing what are you paying every month for housing uh five hundred dollars a month i live with my aunt and uncle and uh they have some health issues so we we do that for them they help us out it's a good thing okay so what's your income then
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
My wife and I, we make about $103,000 a year gross between us two. And how much debt do you have? About $96,000 in debt. On what? So we got about $30,000 on one car, $17,000 on another, and about $25,000 in student loans, and about a few of our debts, probably about... $10,000 in credit card debt and about $12,000 in personal loans.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Sorry about that. It was about $12,000 in personal loans and about $10,000 in credit card debt.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Yeah, we made some dumb decisions that I'll own buying a new car. Yeah, you just listed her.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
It's worth about $23,000. I'm upside down, and I know like... Number one thing is like sell the car, get a personal loan to pay off the negative equity. But the problem I have is my job, I have to drive my own car and I have to drive around and it has to be like something reliable. So I can't like- What kind of work is there?
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Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
No, I'm saying they do, but my credit is also really bad where it's hard for me to get a personal loan.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
probably about a couple months ago. I was only contributing about 3%.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
It would be most of it, all but about six acres. Wow. Well, it would be 45. We would be renting. But it would be about $4 million over 40 years.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Last year it was like $4,500, but this year I'm trying to lower that, so I'm hoping.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
No, it already came. We already filed and got that.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
She's an assistant general manager. At a fast food restaurant.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Yeah, it's pretty split. I make about 45 a year and her income's about 50, about 58,000 a year. So she makes more.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
I work in fire protection, so it's a lot of driving to job sites, doing inspections, service calls. I'll eventually have a van where I won't be on my personal vehicle.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
I'm only getting about $5 for every 25 miles. It's not a lot, so it just gives me my money back. No, it doesn't.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
I've talked to them about that before, but they just say, you know, that's just a tax money.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Well, I'm working at a very small company right now, and there's potential, you know, to eventually, you know, be in management and to own it and help it grow beyond where it's at now over time.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
I like what I'm doing. I don't know if it's going to work out with this employer for the majority of the time, but I enjoy the work I do.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Per month, we're getting about, it's probably closer to $6,000 every month is our take home every month.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
I think mine's like I have about 10% coming out of my check.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
You said no. No, I'm not. I have about 10% going to taxes every month out of my check. Because $100,000 is $8,300, okay?
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Uh, the car payment is a six 20 on the 30,000 and the other one, 17,000. What's that one?
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Mm-hmm. Well, thank you for that. That has been a consideration.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Yes, and we could do that, and it's also something my husband is not eager to do.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Hey, guys, thank you so much for taking my call. I really appreciate it. Sure. My wife and I are starting over back in baby step number two, and she feels our budget is too restrictive without any room for fund money. And so my question is, what amount of our income should we budget for while in baby step two? And how do I get her fully on board without making her feel, quote unquote, controlled?
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Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Yeah. So in 2023, we took FPU through our church and we had a really great success with it. Got off all of our debt besides one vehicle. And at the time, our house, we hadn't moved in yet, but we had a house also that was in the future. Okay. And anyways, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
So unfortunately what happened was my wife started to kind of feel very controlled and because she was not able to say yes to things like giving gifts for baby showers and not able to go out to eat for, you know, dinner with friends and stuff. And so she found herself always kind of calling me and being like, well, can we do this thing for $50? And I was like, it's not in the budget.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
And so then she started to kind of get mad at me as her spouse. So it sounds like you did a budget and told her what to do.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Yeah, well, so ultimately, since then, we've had a baby boy who was born in 23, 2023. And we have another baby that is coming in May, at the end of May. And so we're really excited, yes. But ultimately, I am, I'm freaking out. And I've told her many, many times about this. And I said, listen, like, we need to... We need to do something. And I, you know, John Deloney said it great.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
He said, I feel like a gazelle that is anchored down. And that's genuinely like how I feel. Right.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
She's never been on board. Yeah, it's always been kind of my idea to do this. And she's been supportive at times. No, she's not.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Yeah, yeah, the debt's pretty bad. So credit card debt, we have $19,300. Okay. Cars, we're at $64,000. Can you break them down, one and two?
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Car one is $27,000, and car two is $37,000. Okay. Car two is hers, and you bought it since you went through FPU. Yes, that is correct.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
I don't know. I think the $27,000 one is a Hyundai Santa Fe. So it's probably 18 to 20. Did you have that prior to FPU? Yes. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
It's yeah, it's fairly new. It's probably, you probably could get 28 for it.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
And I'm a project manager with a building envelope consulting firm.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
We had some medical debt, some car loans. We had credit cards and a personal loan and a lot of student loans. Wow.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
So we actually, before we got married, we got engaged, and we really wanted to be intentional in our marriage and do everything we can to have the best marriage possible. So we went through marriage mentoring with our local church, and it was an amazing experience.
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Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
It's also very eye-opening in things that we were very harmonious in in our relationship, but also things that were potential conflicts. And finances were one of those things. And so we were like, yeah, we don't want that to become an issue. It's one of the highest reasons for divorce rates, but we don't want that.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
So my work actually supports, with our education credit, paying for the Ramsey Solution membership.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
We're like, hey, you want to do this? And so we did. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
thousand i gotta dip into my thousand dollar emergency fund and that i think was really smart on you guys's part what was the hardest thing saying no to to gifts yeah yeah we're big givers we're both givers so christmas time was tough the first christmas was really hard but yeah um yeah saying no to trips saying no to did you get any like pushback from the person that was expecting to get gifts
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Absolutely. Do the budget. You can do the budget, but if you do it alone, you, you're not going to get anywhere like you will with when you get it, uh, doing it together.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Mr. Ramsey, is that app free? Hey, I got my point across. I like it. What's up in your world, brother? I got a real estate question for you. I don't believe in any kind of personal debts. If you can't afford it, you can't afford it, except for buildings. And I got about $800,000 worth of personal debt on buildings, a house and a vacation house.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
And then I got a commercial building that pays me about $14,000 a month but costs me just shy of $9,000 a month in interest. And I turned a cool million in the last two years, and the missus thinks we should pay off the personal stuff. But the personal stuff is financed at two and a quarter, and the commercial loan is financed at almost nine.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
And so I think we should pay off the commercial and then let the commercial tenants pay off the personal. She thinks we should pay off the personal and take a deep breath.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Uh, Oh, Oh, that, that the 800 was the house plus the vacation house. It's all together. We'll break them out. Uh, 300 and 500. Okay. Gotcha.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
I would like to not have to work so dang hard.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
Well, if you're going to quote scripture to me, I guess mama wins.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
You were going to be the tiebreaker, so I appreciate it.
The Ramsey Show
Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
good morning jade and dave so such a pleasure to talk with you thank you so much sure how can we help well i am 70 and working a great deal um trying very hard to make it possible to retire by 80. um recently so this last year i've had two offers from a company that would If I followed those, they would probably make it possible for me to retire within a few years.
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Stick to the Plan Even When It’s Tough
But I feel a need to really please this company. And I'm not sure how to go about that, to be real thorough and making sure I'm not going to get myself into a big pickle. Another thing is that my husband would never approve of this. very poor health and doesn't expect to live long.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
So the landlord didn't actually even split the utilities until not even 30 days ago. So we don't even know.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
We do, actually. Yeah, it's kind of a huge market for it here. And when we started the business, there was nothing. I mean, there was nothing within 30 minutes of us. And we've had a lot of people coming in, at least, I mean, for weather permitting, obviously that changes things. But I do, I guess with the potential that I've seen, I feel like there's a way to do it.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
There's got to be another way I can bring some more money into it. I'm just kind of stumped as to how.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Yeah, when we did our projections for the business in order to qualify for the SBA loan, we had to have an entire, I mean, I had to have stacks of paperwork detailing exactly what's in our area, exactly how many kids, exactly how many teams. I don't have it sitting in front of me right now, but we do have all that detailed out. My husband's been coaching for years.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
He actually has a lot of personal relationships with high schools, the leagues, everything. So he's reaching out to all those people as well.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
No, I don't think so because they didn't follow it up with anything like that. I mean, that's why I told her. I said, Mom, it just sounds to me like they just didn't want the business and just was a quick way for them to get off the call, in my opinion.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
If there's not what, what does that look like as far as exiting a business is not profitable.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
I would say probably all in all, it's about $30,000.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
So she was recently divorced, kind of really left in not such a great place, and she's had several different jobs, some that were high-paying, some that were not. She's in one right now that's not very high-paying.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
She's making probably about $16, $18 an hour, and it just kind of keeps them afloat with my mom's Social Security, and my mom also has a small pension from when she was employed earlier in her life. Okay, and then what's your involvement in all this?
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Uh, more just out of concern for them. I didn't know if that, I didn't know if just not paying the debt, you know, was a, could come back on my sister since she lives with her or any of it. Cause that's what my mom's under the impression that she just stops paying it. When she dies, it all goes away. And it was kind of, I don't know. I just, it didn't sit right with me.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Cause I listened to you guys all the time on my way home from work. And, uh, I don't know. It just, it didn't sound like sound advice to me.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Hi, thank you for taking my call. Sure. I'm currently on baby steps four through six. You might tell me to go back to three after this. But I feel like after 20 years, God's leading me to leave corporate America and go into vocational ministry. My heart's been there for years, and now that I'm debt-free, I don't...
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
There's not really anything holding me back other than my goal of, like, making it to baby step seven. Like, is that me being selfish? Is that me being smart? And I was just interested in your insight.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Yes, it's about $559 a month. So I'm debt-free except for my house.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
You should look at rent prices and that kind of thing.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
it's more philosophical. I'm, uh, I'm like two years sober. And so, um, just lately I've really been more passionate about, um, helping like teens with their recovery, you know, and, Awesome.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Making a lifestyle, like vocational decision that's not going to give me the income I have now.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Um, there's not, I mean, I'm a, I'm a CR leader now. Um,
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
I think about, like, at about 3,000 when I include, like,
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
and stuff that comes out of my paycheck.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
I don't hate intellectually. I do not hate my corporate job.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
My heart, like corporate, like ethics is a little bit of a, not like, not like I work at a shady place cause I don't, but there's, there's kind of like that. It's just weird. Yeah. It's not where, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Uh, she's in decent health. She, you know, and, uh, when she retired, she was working from home. So I don't necessarily know. I don't think she's opposed to that. And I think she's actually looking into it, but I think she, she, you know, she's in the mid seventies.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Hi, George, Dr. John. It's a pleasure to get to talk to you both.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Um, so basically I, over the last month or so have been kind of undergoing a bunch of anxiety and stress regarding like my debt and everything. And I'm after meeting with multiple people, they're all saying I should file for bankruptcy, but I'm not sure if I should.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
So she's kind of like, uh, I don't think she wants to have to go back to work, but I think that's just kind of where she's at right now to where, you know, she's just trying to figure out what she has to do.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Um, I mean, it's, it's, of a combination of things just starting back from a few years ago.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Um, combined it all is about closer to 60,000 counting my truck and the credit cards, the personal loans, everything. Okay. 35, 35 of it is the truck. Um, and then the rest is a mix of credit cards, personal loans, and lines of credit.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Um, so I work on base salary or base hourly and commission. So it varies, but typical month is usually between, uh, 3,500 and 4,000.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
So, I mean, like when she was on her own, no, she had no problems. I mean, now that she has my adult sister living with her and they make $16 an hour and she's, you know, they probably don't live on the tightest of budgets. No, they don't.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
The company does offer a 401k with 100% match, but I'm not contributing.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Um, it's a sales job working in retail. Um, You know, a lot of customer facing interaction and stress on a daily basis.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
I wonder the same thing. It's just my concern has always been the, has been the money in that, like trying to stay afloat. I gotcha. Because in an ideal world, like, um, when during COVID, I actually had went to school to be a software engineer. And, and then, um, when I graduated, the tech market crashed and, um, Nobody was hiring. I couldn't get a job anywhere.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Yeah, that's a great question. I think it's their living habits, really. It's eating out quite a bit. It's DoorDash being delivered to the house. And I think they are trying to clean a lot of that up. But I think now it's more so... I have not once tried to clean up a mess and said, you know what, let's just DoorDash tonight.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Thank you for taking my call. I am... I have a question about giving. The Lord recently blessed us with an inheritance, and it stopped, and we don't need it to live on, so we are able to just invest it and give it. And it was a big surprise, and I've never had this happen before. So I'm wondering, okay, first of all, in being a good steward of this, and thinking about giving it.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Do we tithe the stock? Do we just invest it and then what we earn off of it, we give out of that? I'm not sure how to do that.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
I have. Yeah, I have. More so my mom, because my sister doesn't want to. It's not always easy to talk to my sister about it. Not a great relationship? Yeah, it's not stellar, yeah. And how much debt does your sister have, do you know? Oh, I couldn't even begin to tell you. I know she has student loans and... Student loans and a loan against a trust that my family left for us. Oh, man.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Um, no, because everything, everything went to my mother, but he left this to me.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
And, um, and my parents taught us live within your means save, and they taught us that we should invest. They didn't teach us how to invest. So I'm working with somebody to help me know how to do this. And, um, and so, um, I need some advice just because I want to be a very good steward. of this gift.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
And so I, as I was thinking through that, I wanted to have many advisors who could, you know, with many advisors, our plans will succeed. I want to know, um, should, should I go ahead and just give 10% of that stock away or, or is it better to just invest it? And then as I don't even know how to, um, like how it would come back to me. I know that I've been invested in the right environment.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Well, as my accountant and my financial advisor said, that it's only going to be... I would only have capital gains on the amount... between the date of transfer to me. Perfect. Step up. Yes, because when I received it, I thought, oh, no, all my eggs are in one basket. They would say, don't do that. My accountant said, don't do that, my personal.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
So I sold 75% of it. And it's just in a money market fund right now waiting for me to figure it out. And the other part, the 25% I kept in case I was going to give stock, like transfer stock, because they had said, several people have said to me, you don't want to sell it and give off of the earnings of that or what you sold. You want to give the stock, transfer the stock.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Okay. So at this point, I sold $646,000 worth, and that's what's in the money market.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
And then the other stock, so you're saying tied off of that, and then... Well, is that going to count as income for you this year?
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
I couldn't tell you exactly what it is, but I know it's got to be close to $100,000. Yikes. And that's a guess. That's a complete guess, to be honest.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Okay. Because at this point, nothing is in my bank account.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
And that's what we're saying. It's all at the brokerage firm. Nothing has come to me. I have got nothing. It's all sitting at the brokerage.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Yes, he sends an awful lot of time. And he says that I ask him questions nobody's asked. I love that. He explains things to me.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
I want to say my mom brings about maybe $1,500 a month from her pension and Social Security. Combined? Roughly. I think. I think, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Well, I mean, we have no debt. We're paying cash for my son's college, and we have a six-month... And I'm getting my own pension from retirement, and I have a little other in my 403B, so no.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
The house is paid for by my family who left it in a trust to them. The only thing that they have to pay for for the house is $400 a month for the HOA fees.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
They're struggling. And eating? They are struggling, too. Correct.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Hey, so I had a question. So basically I'm on baby steps four, five, and six, and I have a little bit, so I'm kind of curious. Once I put my 15% into retirement and, um, After I have my emergency fund and all that, what do I do with my extra savings money? Because I know I don't want to just have it in a savings account.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Yep. And I'm already planning to have it paid off in eight years. But outside of that, I still have money left over. Great.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
No, girlfriend at the moment. She's technically renting from me.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Not renting. We're just not married. So I bought the house and she's just giving me some for staying with me.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
We're just waiting for her to get out of school.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
I mean, I think they would listen to me. My only concern is that with my mom getting this advice from this lawyer, I think that she's just kind of like, she sees that as easy street. It's like, oh, nice. That's the solution. Just stop paying it.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Yes, hello. So I have found myself like in 14 months that I've been to, say, United States. I've been into this loop and my income is like very low and I can't seem to bring it any higher because I don't have any experience. I'm a server at a restaurant, like I make about 3K per month.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
So I was thinking like should I avoid rent and then buy like a SUV and then kind of live in it until I save up some money and get some skills or is it a stupid idea?
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Renting an apartment is about $650 per month. It's not much, but my income is also very low.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
I have like 4k for down payment. Then yeah, I was thinking about financing one and then putting the rent on the, um, on the finance car. and that way I could go to school easier and everything. But I can buy a car and rent a room, but I won't be able to save a penny. I would be stuck in this situation for very long. That's what I'm thinking.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
I just chose this school back there for my country and then I got accepted and I was like, okay, let's try it. It wasn't my plan to come here and then I got in this school for free and everything was good. but, um, but I'm thinking that, um, cause I've never paid rent, never worked before, um, never had like money to manage it. And this whole thing is new for me. Excellent.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Kind of like, so let me tell you this, there's a 50 on rent and it's going like away. Like,
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
But can I get like a reliable car for $4,000?
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
No, no. Yeah, that's definitely not the case.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Not that I'm aware of, but I can't imagine that it wouldn't. It's probably coming soon.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Yeah, so my mother was advised by a lawyer to stop paying some of her debts. My adult sister moved in with her about three years ago, and they've kind of accumulated since then a decent amount of debt, and a lot of it is in my mother's name. And the lawyer told her just to stop making payments on it and just let it go. Why was she working with a lawyer?
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Hi, thank you for taking my call. My husband and I started a business here just the end of last year, and we were making pretty good money, but it's not quite enough to make ends meet.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
And at this point, we've put pretty much everything we have into it, and it has the potential, but we're just trying to figure out some more ways to bring money into the business to try to increase that to make ends meet.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
It's an indoor baseball training facility.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Pretty much. We started completely debt-free. We pulled an SBA loan, ended up being about $325,000. We had a very large chunk of money in the bank when we started. Part of that was going towards our security deposit. The other we kept was about $40,000 in the bank. Now we're to the point where we have about $30,000 in credit card debt.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
We've used my husband's 401k, and our entire savings is put into it as well. There were some factors that came up that we weren't really expecting for, and that money ended up going towards the business.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Well, I mean... Well, we're not really behind yet on the business. I mean, the money that we spent on credit cards and stuff was actually to get the business open and started. We've brought in about $52,000 since we opened December, like mid-December.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
um so it's making money but i mean our lease payment's 30 000 a month so we're not making enough yeah you're not making money dang what's what your lease payment is 30 grand yeah what is your um thousand square feet what's your what's your debt overhead what have y'all uh what have y'all taken well we
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Well, we don't really have – I mean, the business essentially runs itself, and we don't have hardly any overhead. Like, our utility bill is about the highest we pay.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Mm-hmm. We actually haven't started – they gave us a six-month draw period, so we haven't actually started paying that payment yet. Okay. We've been paying the interest on it, which has been about, I think about $2,500, the last one I think come in, give or take. I'm expecting those to increase now, obviously, since we have used the funds from the loan.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
So that drop period closes and then we should start seeing the first payment come through.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
No. Well, we do and we don't because when we talk to them, basically they told us, it's been a rough go with them, but basically they told us we have a six-month job period. We only pay interest until then. Obviously, the interest will increase every month as we're spending more, you know, utilizing our funds from the bank.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
No, it was an actual... A lump sum? Uh-huh.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
About $30,000. We had, I mean, well, two of those are personal cards and one is a business card, but all of it went towards the business. We started with nothing on those cards.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
I don't necessarily know that she was working with a lawyer. I think she just called a lawyer to ask for advice. No lawyer would do that. That's kind of what I felt.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Last month, I believe we brought in about $18,000 a month prior, about $16,000. And our first month was a bigger month coming in.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Correct. And we're waiting on our realtor actually, hopefully today, to give us some information on having a tenant come into part of that space to sublease it out, which we're hoping will help.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Well, we're not actually paying ourselves out from the business, and we don't really have any overhead. That's the scary part.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Yeah, so we were both working right up until we opened the business. I am currently in an IOP OCD treatment program, so I have a couple more weeks of that before I can go back to work. My husband is, I think he's doing interviews today actually to take on remote work from our business while he does that at the same time.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
We need to be making about, I mean, we can make ends meet and actually profit on about $45,000 a month.
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This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
We don't have, I mean, because we don't have any.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
What's your insurance? Our insurance is about $2,000 a month, I believe. We had to have general and then we had to have workers' comp as well, even though we don't actually have any employees.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
At this point, no. I mean, that was the goal. But yeah, at this point, our intentions were to pay ourselves out, obviously, from the business, and that didn't work out. And so we've kind of burned through savings up to this point, both being there all day, every day, trying to make that successful. And it's to the point now that we're going to have to go back to work and do both at the same time.
The Ramsey Show
This Is How You Take Control of Your Own Life
Yeah, it's – we're pretty scared. And we – I mean, we don't – It's kind of hard because there are certain bills that we know are coming that we don't know what they are because we haven't seen them yet. Like our utility bill, we're estimating probably about $5,000, but we haven't actually seen it yet because our building is a split space, so the other side doesn't have a tenant yet.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Plus about $10,000 in checking account, but yes.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yes, sir. And if you're going to pay this thing off in the next few years, if it's at 140 and you go, we're going to aggressively get this thing down to zero in the next five years, the interest rate's not going to matter that much.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, and if you bought one at a similar price range, you could do the same thing, but you didn't have all the insurance costs.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Right. So I wouldn't go just upgrade a house and get a way more expensive house and get a way bigger mortgage just to get out of this tax and insurance situation.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
It's not necessary. Yeah, buy a similar price range. If your payment goes up a little, so what? But I'd buy a similar price range and make the move. The best way to handle this sometimes is look out 10 years, 20 years, and say, where do I want to be? Okay, if you have this house paid for 20 years from now, what is that insurance cost going to do? It's going to go up every year.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And how much are you using? Is there a burn rate on it? Are you using it for her care? I have not touched a cent of it in the few years it's been active since I established it. How is she being cared for?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Or it's even going to be worse. It's going to be like Florida. It's going to be hard to get at all. Right. And the house is going to go on up in value. There's no question about that. But you live in this constant, you're in a storm zone is what it amounts to.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
So 10 years from now, if you move inland and you pay it off, you're going to have more normal taxes, more normal insurance, and you're going to see appreciation just as well. So where do you want to live 10 years from today with a paid-for house? That'll answer your question. This is The Ramsey Show. George Campbell Ramsey, personality, is my co-host. Abby is in Des Moines, Iowa. Hi, Abby.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, I need help with this credit card situation that's a part of a bigger problem. But my husband and I separated about three months ago. Two months ago, we stopped paying credit cards, and I just found out that before they go into collections that we might want to start paying them. Again, we just owe so much. We just have been overwhelmed and have not had good advice.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well... We were working together in his construction business, and let's just say, like, everything came crashing down. His anger and my not feeling safe from, like, past trauma all happened at once. I moved out to my cousin's house, and when I came back home, he had moved back to his home state, and we're talking. We're having weekly finance meetings, and I believe God will...
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
restore our marriage, but we've got a lot to work through.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
A big part of it is finance. He shut his construction business down and moved away?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, we were at the end of a really long project from not heaven.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
He shut his construction business down and moved away?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. All right. Cool. All right. So to the extent we can leave it alone, we can invest it in something that has a longer time horizon to be safe. So just like a good growth stock mutual fund, if you leave that alone five years, you're pretty safe. OK, so I certainly wouldn't put all of it there. I'd be looking for a mix between high yield savings for a big chunk of this.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, I'm working three part-time jobs now. Just got offered a full-time job, so right now I'm making like maybe $2,000 a month, and I'll be making like five or six here in January.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Good. Good for you. Okay. Thank you. And so you're going to get your own place. You're currently living with your cousin, but you're going to – is that right?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah. But I mean, if you're making five grand a month, you're not anymore, right?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, the thing is, is my credit just went from like 750 to the 500. So I don't even think I can get a place.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
You think so? Sure. You're making five grand a month. And you need to. You don't need to be homeless and divorcing and broke. We need to get a stabilized situation where you're safe and you have a
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
home of some sort a little one-bedroom studio apartment it doesn't have to be anything fancy but get some stability and then you've got five grand minus rent minus electricity minus food to work with towards your debt and now we've got a now we've got a thing we can project into the future does that make sense couch surfing doesn't project into the future no that's what i'm saying so how much credit card debt do you have
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And is your name on all the cards along with him?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And what's the plan for you guys to pay this off since you're separated right now? Have you talked about that? Is it equal split payments or what?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, we're talking about it, and the talks have been like 50-50, but the other... major debt is owing subcontractors, and so that's where we've struggled. Like, who do we pay first, or how do we even, like, make a plan?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
So when he closed his construction company, he was not profitable? Well... If he didn't pay his subcontractors, honey, he wasn't making a profit.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Unless he has a pile of cash somewhere. No.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. If he has no money and he still has bills outstanding, that means he lost money on the deal, right?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Did he just blow the money and never paid the crew?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
All right. So here's what you need to do. Do you have a car payment also?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I do, but my car just... I owe five. It's worth five. The repair is seven. And where I'm considering moving, I can get everywhere around on a bike because it's warm enough all year. So I'm like, I might sell it.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Wait a minute. Where would you move this warm if you have a $5,000 a month job starting next month?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
So that's where I would be moving to, the job.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Why would you consider? You are doing it. You don't have to consider moving. You're going.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
No, I mean, you take the $5,000 job. Where is it?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I am. This weekend I visited. I just got the offer. Talking more details this week. I've just been.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Not really considering. I mean, you're couch surfing, working three part-time jobs. You have another option to move to North Carolina and have a $5,000 a month job. Yeah, you're going. You're broke. So you got to get your life back. You got to get control. You have control of no variables right now. So this has got to be the anxiety. The stress must be horrendous for you, honey.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay, so here's what we're going to do. We're not going to worry about the subs, and we're not going to worry about the credit cards right now. You need to get moved, and you need to get into an apartment, a little one-bedroom studio of some kind, something basic, and you need to figure out your transportation.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show. We help people.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And then the other chunk, I might do something as simple as an S&P 500 or sit down with a smart investor pro and just pick out some very, very calm growth and income type funds. But all of those funds would be, you know, in the last year they would have paid 20 percent. But the last year the market was up 30 percent.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
When you've got food, shelter, clothing, transportation, and utilities covered, then we can talk about how to settle these credit cards, but you don't need to start making payments on them. You're broke and homeless and divorcing. We've got to fix some of those things before we worry about a stupid credit card, okay? So just put those on the back shelf right now. They're not going anywhere.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
They'll definitely take money when you call them back six months from now or four months from now. Then you and your husband start talking and decide what's going to happen with the marriage. If there is a divorce... you'll have to split these bills up some way or another. I don't know what.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And the divorce decree, the divorce judge will approve your all's plan or tell you what the real plan is if he doesn't like yours. And then you can go in and start working your way through this debt, and you can probably settle it for pennies on the dollar. At that point, you're going to be six months behind.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
But you don't need to be paying these bills while he sits at his cousin's house doing nothing. And while you're couch surfing, no. No, I wouldn't pay any of these bills until it's in an agreement of us getting back together or in an agreement The divorce, how the divorce is going to go down.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, we're kind of in a storm mode and there's a lot of unknowns.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Until you have an agreement one way or the other on this, you don't pay it because you're going to be the only one paying it. He's not.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, you're not going to make much progress trying to do this on your own in the midst of this storm. Exactly. So just pause until you got the next step.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, that's exactly how it works. Well, folks, we just launched a brand-new tour. Dave Ramsey, that's me, and Dr. John Deloney are hitting the road, coming to a city near you. It's the Money and Relationships Tour. We're putting a new twist on these events.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Before the event starts, you're going to tell us the subjects you want us to talk about, and we're going to talk about those subjects that night. We're going to custom-build each one of these. Louisville, Kentucky, April 21. Durham, April 23. Atlanta, 25. Phoenix, May 5. Fort Worth, May 7. And Kansas City, May 9. You're going to laugh. You're going to learn. You're going to cry.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
You're going to change your life. Come to one of these events. They're going to be a lot of fun. It is the Money and Relationships Tour. Dr. John Deloney and me, Dave Ramsey, ramseysolutions.com slash tour. Check it out. Or if you're on YouTube or a podcast, click the link in the the show notes, and make sure you get out there. These are going to be really, really fun.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
They're selling like crazy, by the way. Tickets are not super expensive. If you want something for a stocking stuffer for Christmas, just order this and print off the ticket and stick it in the stocking, and that'll be a nice thing. Hey, honey, look what we're doing.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And it's a gift that keeps on giving, because then you go, oh my gosh, I forgot, we bought tickets to the event six months later. Let's go.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
um which is crazy that's not normal but in a in an average they would probably pay out 10 where the market's paying out 12 where a high yield savings is paying out four so correct you know i'm going to invest some of it not all i'm going to invest some of it not all of it to the extent i'm comfortable i can leave my hands off of it okay what does the next one to two years look like as far as short-term costs
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, and they're selling really, really fast. So if you want to go, you probably need to go and get your tickets, or you'll get that other thing called FOMO. This is The Ramsey Show. George Campbell Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Today's Ramsey Show question of the day is sponsored by WhyRefi.
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
When you're trapped in a maze of defaulted private student loan debt, it's hard to find your way out. But WhyRefi can offer you a lifeline with custom refinancing based on your ability to pay and a lump sum payoff option that you could qualify for at a discount after 24 months. Go to yrefy.com slash Ramsey. That's the letter Y-R-E-F-Y dot com slash Ramsey. Might not be in all states.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Today's question comes from Carl in Wisconsin. My wife and I are looking for guidance on how to best allocate our investment funds. I'm 50 and self-employed. She's 35, currently a stay-at-home mom, and has an IRA that was rolled over from her previous employer.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
We're wondering if it makes sense to max out both of our IRAs or if we should just focus on my IRA and invest the rest in a non-retirement account. Could you give us some advice on the best strategy to balance our retirement planning in other investment goals? A lot more details I'd love to know here, but I guess we can assume they're in baby step four.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
They don't have debt, and they have an emergency fund. Fair assumption here?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. So they both have access to the IRA. I would love for them to be investing on the Roth side, and 15% of your gross household income is what you want to be investing. So if it's a $100,000 household, we would be investing $15,000 total. Okay. So she's got an IRA, you've got an IRA. He's saying, well, should we just focus on mine and do the rest in a non-retirement?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I would rather you take advantage of those retirement accounts, which means maxing out both IRAs, if you can, before moving to a non-retirement taxable account.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And then focus on getting your house paid off so that by the time you hit retirement and she hasn't, you know, you're 50. So you got nine and a half years, 59 and a half, right? Start withdrawals without any penalties. By the time you get there, nine and a half years from now, you have a paid for house. And somewhere along the line, you might look up and do some non-retirement.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
But right now, you need to be putting 15% in Roths. That's simple. And good growth stock mutual funds. I agree, George.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
So people say, Dave, you know, well, Dave, is it 15% of my income and 15% of her income? How do you go about splitting what goes where?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Is it just, you know, we both do 15%? Yeah. And that becomes 15% of our household?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
So you add everybody's income up times 15%, and somewhere that number has to go. So in your case, it's like, in this case, she's a stay-at-home mom, so it's one household, one income.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And she can do a spousal Roth IRA. Yeah. So go ahead and fund that.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Fully fund two individual Roths, but if you're working and you've got a Roth 401k too, whatever you've got to do to get to 15%. If you can't get to 15% and you've maxed out everything, then you would do some non-retirement because it's your only other option. But do we not take advantage of a Roth and do some non-retirement option because it's age differentiation? No, no, absolutely not.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Wouldn't do that. Jamal is with us in Washington, D.C. Hey, Jamal, what's up? Hey, hi, Dave. How you doing? Better than I deserve, man. How can I help?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Um, I'm new to the country. I'm 25 married when my wife, she's 22, very young. Uh, I came two years and a half ago from Italy and between things that happened throughout like our engagement, this and that, and like my lawyer payment for the green card, um, we racked up around $10,000 in debt. Um, she has her student loan that will not kick in until like 2026, which is like around 30,000. Um,
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I'm very hardworking, and I hate debt. I just picked up your book. I'm already on page 40. So I just wanted to know how to get out of the situation to start, like, bumping more cash flow into our pockets and make sure that everything goes well from now on. Is she also from Italy? No, she's an American citizen. She's born here in D.C.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. I think I would just begin a marriage conversation about what our dream is. What's our dream? We had that.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
We had that, and she came from money, and her idea is, like, people have debt. She never got, like, very educated on money, so it was always given to her. So, like, people have debt. It's normal. That will be fine, and I just hate that idea. I don't want to owe anybody anything. I didn't owe anything to my parents when I was growing up.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I really don't know how to answer that question. I don't foresee any major costs. But, you know, like, for example, she just had a bunch of dental work done that wasn't covered. But we were able to pay that without having to dip into this special needs trust. So things like that, maybe. But otherwise, I'm not sure.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. That's not a dream. People always have debt, and I'll always have debt. That's not a dream. That's a hopeless person. That's not a dreaming person.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Exactly. I hate debt and I try always to get out of debt.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
That's not the point. Why is it you hate debt? You hate debt because you don't want to steal your life because you want to be able to build wealth so you can be outrageously generous and have a wonderful life. Yes. That's the dream. Not we're always going to have a car payment. That's not a dream. That's a surrender.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
My dream is always to... My dream, honestly, is to give my kids what I didn't have the chance to have.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, but you led the conversation with your young wife, your young self, by saying, I hate debt. That was your dream. That's not a dream either. I hate debt because it steals my dream. Now, what is your dream? I want to be a multimillionaire, and I want to be outrageously generous, and I want to be able to change our family tree. I came to this country, the country of opportunity, for that reason.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I want to go big. That's my dream. Not I hate debt. You see the difference? Yeah. She says, debt's always going to be here. You say, I hate debt. And this is what you discussed when you're trying to have a dream. That's not a dream. Neither one of those are a dream. And you're not going to get very far with just saying, I hate debt.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And so the point is, it's not persuasive. You need to cast a vision. And that's what Dave's saying. You need to do for your own marriage. Sit down with her, maybe a dream date and go, here's where we want to be. We want to be debt free millionaires. I'm an immigrant. I want a different future for our kids. Is that what you want?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
You know, we're 20. When I'm 35, I want to be worth $2 million, have no debt, and be able to give money away and change our family tree and send our kids to school with zero debt. Because you're sitting here looking at $30,000 worth of debt because your family didn't have a big dream. They had a crummy vision. I don't want to live like that. I want to live big and get our own board with that.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Then you say, okay, how do we get to be 35 and a multimillionaire? Oh, we get out of debt. Oh, we increase our income. Oh, we watch our spending. Oh, we're generous in our current world. All of that. That's how it works. Jordan is in Salem, Oregon. Hi, Jordan. How are you?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Hi, I'm well, thank you. Thank you for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I was wondering if compound interest still works the same across multiple accounts as it does in one account.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Exactly the same. If they're invested the same, then yes.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
You can do the math. If you're earning 10% and you have $100,000, 10% would be $10,000.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Does that sound right? Yes. If you had a single account that was only $10,000 and you had 10 of those, 10% on $10,000 would be $1,000. Does that sound right?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
If there were 10 of those, that would be $10,000, right?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
It's exactly the same as if it was one lump.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. Yeah, I mean, if it was me, I'm probably putting like $100 in some mutual funds with a SmartVestor Pro that have a very low volatility, very calm funds, okay? And then I'm going to put the other like $70 into just high-yield savings. But that will at least change your income. Instead of making $4,000 on that $100, you might make $12,000 on that $100, that kind of thing.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. Some people call him a genius. I call him my boss.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, I saw the video where if you have $100,000, it starts to grow exponentially. So then I was like, oh, we're really close to that, but it's all spread out. So does that still apply to us?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Absolutely. Now, George's point earlier makes a lot of difference. That's assuming they're all invested at exactly the same rate. So if it's spread out on a bunch of different mutual funds and some of them are underperforming, then that's a problem. But that's not a compound interest equation problem. That's an investing problem. An allocation issue. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
So if I've got 10 different mutual funds and they all earn, they all grow at a 10% rate, that's the same as having one mutual fund that grows at a 10% rate. to George's point earlier.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
build wealth do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships i'm dave ramsey your host george camel number one best-selling author host of the george camel show on youtube is ramsey personality is my co-host today the phone number here is 888-825-5225 tony is in chicago hi tony welcome to the ramsey show hey guys thanks for taking my call sure what's up
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
But if you add it all up in one nest egg and everything's invested equally, it's going to grow at the same rate.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
So yes, if you've got $100,000 total across a bunch of accounts, you've got $100,000 growing for you. That's awesome.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, very good for you. Good question. You're going to be great. And by the way, rule of 72s tells us if you divide an interest rate into the number 72, it tells you how many years it takes for it to double for a lump sum. So $100,000 at 10%, 10 into 72 would be 7.2 years to double. So if you got $100,000 and you're invested at 10%, in seven years, you'll have $200,000.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah. I told you he's a genius. 30 years from now. So that's how you can start to run the numbers out in your head pretty quick and go, yes, this is all worth doing, boys and girls.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And very little of that money was the money you put in. Compound growth did the heavy lifting.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And 90% of what's in your account at retirement, if you start now, boys and girls, will be growth, not money you put in. This is The Ramsey Show. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show. We help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
George Campbell, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author of Breaking Free from Broke, host of the George Campbell Show on YouTube, the Ramsey Networks, and, of course, Ramsey Personality. He's my co-host today. Christopher is in Richmond, Virginia. Hi, Christopher. How are you? Hello, Mr. Ramsey. Thanks for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Sure. What's up? I've heard you yell at quite a few people about whole life policies. I have a universal life policy, and when I started hearing how terrible the whole life is, where I looked into it, And I don't think it has all the same bad things to what their whole life does, like the cash value doesn't go away when I die. Yes, it does. It would pay out with the policy. Yes, it does.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I called the company and asked them. They said, no, it does not. Yes, it does.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, they sometimes will claim they can set it up in such a way in very few policies. Do you have a universal B or A?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I think so. What? I don't know if it's A or B. Okay. A B, a universal B works like this. You pay, let's say you bought a $100,000 policy and you build up a $20,000 cash value. Okay. Universal B charges you for $120,000. the face value plus the cash value worth of insurance. So you're purchasing extra insurance that makes it look like you get the cash value upon death, but you don't.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
You're just buying more insurance in B. That's all that you're doing, the equivalent of the cash value amount. The cash value amount in 100% of universal policies disappears at death 100% of the time. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
What? The other thing you said was that whole is 20 times as expensive, and I just did some comp shopping, and my universal policy is about the same as that amount it would cost me to get termed right now. I've had it for a while, but...
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, there's one of two possibilities there. One is you did your comp shopping with the same stupid company that sold you the universal, and they generally have very expensive term. If you go to Zander Insurance and comp shop, you'll probably find it to be a lot less because they're shopping among a bunch of different companies that specialize in term, and it's much, much cheaper.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
The other possibility is universal life works like this. the portion of your premium that you're paying monthly that buys your life insurance goes up every year. Your premium stays the same. But let's say that, let's just make up a number. Let's say your premium is $100, and the first year you bought it, you were 26, and of the $100, $10 went to insurance cost and $90 went to the investment.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
But you want to be able to access it when she needs it because that's the primary thing it's for. So, yeah, at Ramsey Solutions, just click on SmartVestor Pro and find one near you that you like and sit down with them, and they can teach you some things you can do. Bryce is in Dallas. Hey, Bryce, what's up?
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
later on as you get older the amount going towards insurance goes up okay because every year you're older you're more likely to die and so what can happen with a universal policy that can't that's worse than a whole life even is the lines can cross and actually the insurance cost becomes more than the premium and they'll start using part of your cash value to cover the insurance cost
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Because you're upside down in the policy. And then that thing, it'll actually disappear, it'll actually deteriorate, kill itself. It turns in on itself, mathematically. So what's happening is that you were doing more investing in the old days, and now almost all of your premium is simply buying insurance.
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Now, in the term insurance world, Christopher, there's term life insurance, which means the length of the term. So you can buy a one-year term, a five-year term, a 10-year term, a 15, a 20, a 30-year term. And if it's level term, the premium stays level throughout that period of time, which is an average of all the years before. Pure insurance, technically speaking, would be annually renewable.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Once a year, the insurance premium goes up. Because you get older, and every year you're older, you're more likely to die percentage-wise. Does that make sense? So an ART is what that's called, an annual renewable term. And the cost of insurance goes up every single year. It's not level when you buy an ART. And that's what's built into the universal policy.
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
is an art and so the universal go the cost of insurance more of your premium is going to insurance every single year thereby less is going to the investment and that may if you've had it for many years now you're just buying insurance you're not putting anything into investment or worse you're not even covering the cost of the insurance and they're using up some of your investment to cover the difference because you've the you've crossed the lines on it
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And if that's the case, then that would also explain why you find term insurance to be about the same cost because really all you've got now, honey, is term insurance because the ART is raised in price every year and caught up with the actual premium that you've been paying. I'm dizzy.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
It's exhausting. And here's the thing. I've never heard of someone who isn't selling insurance, say, their whole life, or Universal is good. It's only coming from the salespeople.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And so the people that get swindled by this, it's usually from a friend who explained to them, the wealthy do this, they invest through their insurance policy, and you can borrow against your own money tax-free, and they explain all these... crazy loophole quote-unquote advantages.
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Hey, Gary. Thank you so much for answering my call.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
So in the financial planning realm, fee-based financial planners, investment advisors like our SmartVestor pros, anywhere you go to for financial planning help, the only people that tell you to buy cash value insurance are people that sell it. No one else tells you to do it.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
No one in the entire, the rest of the financial world looks at it and goes, buy inexpensive term insurance, 10, 15, 20-year level term, and do your investing anywhere else. Don't put it in this crap. Because what ends up happening, see, let's go back and revisit the barrel of fish hooks I just unpacked a minute. Because it's frustrating as crud.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, I ran into a recent situation. Let me just get into it. But basically, I've driven a 2018 Ford F-150 for about seven years. We ran into an engine issue to where the second cylinder within the engine busted. After taking it to two mechanics, I got the same verdict that it's going to cost about $15,000. It's going to require a whole brand new engine replacement.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
When you were 26 and you bought that $100 premium I was talking about a minute ago, I made that number up, okay? You bought that because you wanted some insurance and because you wanted some investments. And the irony is that the rising cost of insurance through the years eats up all of your premium so that...
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
The very reason you bought it instead of buying term was to have an investment, and it doesn't occur. The longer you hang on to it, the higher chance it will implode on itself. Yeah. It eats itself out. And so the very reason that you did it is systematically annually disappearing. That's the irony of how bad this is.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
It just sucks. And with universal, there's flexible premiums. But here's the thing. If it's not enough to cover the insurance, they take it from your cash value. Yeah. So you're not winning.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
They always win. And again, the insurance is going to go up every single year because it's the equivalent of an ART built in. Now, the truth is on a 15 year fixed level payment, right? You're paying more. in the early days than you would for an ART. Because all the 15-year is is the average of the ART, but less because ARTs have low persistence. Very few people keep them.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And they drop them because they go up every year and they get, oh, God, I've got to get out of this thing. But they keep the 15, so it's cheaper for the insurance company to run the 15, so they give you a break. So it's less than the average of 15 ARTs. And it's simpler to manage. There's no investments and cash value to deal with. But you're still paying it. You're still paying for the coverage.
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
This is The Ramsey Show. Well, Christmas is right around the corner. And if you're shopping for yourself or you're looking for the perfect gift to help someone get their money in order, now's the time to shop and get up to 30% off on our best-selling products. The Total Money Makeover is 30% off. Building a Non-Anxious Life is 30% off.
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And Georgia's number one bestseller, Breaking Free from Broke, is even on sale. So check it out, including the classic Questions for Humans card decks from Dr. John Deloney for couples, friends, and parents, $12, all at ramseysolutions.com. Or click the link in the description on YouTube or podcast. Nicole is with us in Denver. Hi, Nicole. Welcome to The Ramsey Show.
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Hi, good afternoon. I wanted to ask you about prenups. I'm very recently engaged and I'm walking into this marriage with about a $400,000 Schwab investment account.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
My fiance and I are in very different financial situations. He doesn't have much of a savings account. The reason I have this investment account, my father passed away, left me quite a bit of money, and my mother has helped grow this account to a significant amount. By adding to it? By adding to it and investing and things like that. Well, my money that she has invested. Very smart lady.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
But I don't know what I should do with that account or if I should... bring it to the marriage or not.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. Um, when I first started doing this show 35 years ago, I told someone that if you need a prenup, you don't need to get married. If you can't trust them with $400,000, you don't need to trust them with your life.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Right. And I don't want to come into this marriage feeling as though I'm harboring any resentment or being perceived as noncommittal or anything like that. Um, The reason I ask you, two reasons, I feel like this account is not mine. I think it would be set up for me in case of an emergency. I have a significant health condition that may run me.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And so just considering my options, these two top things have been entering my mind. Either one, I... pay the $15,000 to go ahead and get the engine replaced. This is an F-150 that has about 127,000 miles on it, or I can go toward getting a new vehicle. And the one that I'm currently, let me, maybe I have a lot of numbers that I've just been working through, but let me just give some details.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
You told me it was yours. It is, but because my mother has grown it so significantly.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Are you going to stay married to your mother or are you going to marry him?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. Then maybe it's time to be married to him and not your mother. And you and him manage your health condition and your future and your money for the good of you and him and the next 40 years of your life, 50 years of your life. We're managing that together. It's very sweet that mom has been helpful, but her days of controlling your life at 30 years old, you're a grown woman, are over.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
So now that changes it. So I would want to share every bit of my life. If you're going to get married, you've got to go all in. Okay. Okay. And that's what you asked. That's my opinion. And that's my opinion. I would tell you to do that.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
The only time I tell someone to get a prenup is if there is an extreme amount of wealth on one side and 400 K is not extreme, but if you had, if you had $15 million and he had not a nickel, then I tell you to get a prenup then because not because of him, but because of his crazy relatives. The crazy relatives come out of the woodwork when you marry a rich woman, you know?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And it's like – and so you control them with a prenup. You go, I can't do anything about it. I mean, it's not – I don't have any access to it, the prenups. And it just shuts down the crazy relatives and sends them back to the cave they came out of. And so – That's the only reason I do that is it gives you some relationship management stuff.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And I'm trying to keep someone from getting just conned completely. But I don't think you're being conned. You've got three years in this in this relationship. You're 30 years old. You're not a baby child. And you're not been, you know, I met him in Las Vegas two weeks ago. Well, that's a whole different story, right? That's not you. You're very precise. You're very wise. You're very even.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
You're very careful. Does he know about this account?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
He does. He doesn't know the exact amount that's in it. I was also thinking maybe we would reserve this account for our children in the event that we did get a divorce.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Let's talk about it. Let's say, hey, if something ever happened, I'm going to claim that I brought this money into the marriage if you divorce me, and I'm going to try to keep it. I'm going to make sure you don't get it. But you don't need a prenup to do that in most states. In most states, it was assets you owned when you came in. But I think there's something to be said here.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
It makes you think about, okay, are there parts of the way he handles money that you don't respect? Well, see, that's a red flag. That's something to be handled in a pre-marriage. Hmm?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I see your point. Not at all. Just we have different finances, so I don't know how to combine or not combine things. I want to be smart.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, when you say different, you don't mean he's irresponsible and you're responsible.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
No. He has quite a bit of student loans left. He just entered the workforce after being in the military and getting his doctorate degree, so he hasn't been working.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. So he's getting ready to start making some money and he's got $200,000 in stinking student loans.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I would not want to use the 400 to pay those in the next 30 seconds, but four or five years from now, I might use some of it to knock the rest of that out if you haven't knocked it out. But I think you guys need to roll up your sleeves and knock it out and then leave the 400 alone. That'd be a plan.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, but hopefully you can do that. But if he's saying, oh, I'm going to be in debt for the next 30 years just because that's the way it is if you're a chiropractor, that's a different discussion. That's not a prenup discussion. That's a I don't get married discussion.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
But it's the exact same vehicle, exact same model. The only difference is it's a brand new year. Considering the down payment that I would make and the vehicle trade-in value that I got from a dealership, Comes out to about $25,000 going in. The vehicle price quoted at is about $40,000. And the current APR rate is 1.9% over 60 months. So ballpark, that's $15,000.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, if your financial responsibility gets him to be lazy or entitled, that's a whole different discussion.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
He doesn't sound like lazy or entitled, though. He goes for it. He went and got his dadgum doctorate.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
He's been working his tail off. So I'd go into this with arms wide open right now unless you have reason not to be.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yep. Yep. Eyes wide open and arms wide open.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
All in. All in. All in. All in. Leave it all on the field. All right. Danielle's in Columbus, Ohio. Hi, Danielle. How are you?
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Hello, Dave. So I am just stepping into the Ramsey way. I'm about to start my budgeting and I now have a stable income of 42,000, which includes my housing and my food for at least half the year. I have side hustles, which I haven't calculated. It's going to be at least 15,000. I have 16,000 in credit card debt, seven in my car. and $35,000 in school loans.
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
My question is, now that I have this new job, previous to this I was on Medicaid insurance, and they're offering me health insurance, but I really don't want to do it. It just seems too expensive. I'm 31 years old. I'm healthy. You don't qualify for Medicaid, honey, if you're working.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, I know. So that's what I was before. But you can't get it now. Exactly.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, you'll go bankrupt. Okay. You have your appendix out, and you're going to get a $62,000 bill.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
It'll bankrupt you. I mean, it's just like car insurance. Just because you haven't had a wreck doesn't mean someone else is going to hit you. You can be a great driver, and so you need health insurance now and always. And do you know how much it's going to be? Is it $600 a month?
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, something like that. They're offering us UnitedHealthcare.com.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I mean, you can shop around with our friends at Health Trust Financial and see what the marketplace insurance would be versus the employers and see what's the better deal for you. But it's a non-negotiable, and it just has to go in your budget. And if other things have to be sacrificed because of that, then that's what you'll have to do for now.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
If they have four or five different plans under United, and they probably do, just take the cheap one. And the higher deductible and all that kind of stuff. That's all fine. But because I'm not worried about a $5,000 or a $4,000 deductible. I'm worried about a $62,000 problem. The number one cause of bankruptcy in America is medical bills.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
So look for that HDHP. That's a high deductible health plan. It'll come with an HSA, which is a great way to save for those health expenses. And that'll be your best bet. Keep the premium low, but it'll transfer a little bit more risk to you with the deductible. Yep.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
This is the Ramsey Show. Coming up December the 18th, one of your favorite shows, our annual giving show. We take calls from folks who are proud of some giving that they did and want to tell us the story, or they are proud of some receiving that they did. Then they're going to tell stories that make our eyes leak. December the 18th, our annual giving show. Don't miss it.
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Also, coming up at the end of this segment, we will jump the show over to the Ramsey Network app for the remaining portion of today's show. And the Ramsey Network app is a free download. You can do that there anytime you want, and you'll get the entire show there. plus audio, video of everything, and you can search the show. You can send us emails in there.
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You can search the show by subject so you don't have to listen to 26 hours to find out what we say about whole life, life insurance, or whatever it is that we're harping on that day. So check it out. And if you're on radio, of course, stay tuned. Wherever we are on radio, we're still there on radio. And Thomas is in New York City. Hi, Thomas. How are you?
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You want to go buy a brand-new truck? Is that what you said?
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Hello, gentlemen. Thank you so much for taking the call. I have a quick question. I don't know if I have to get into a lot of detail. I'll answer your questions. My mother's financial advisor has been trying to persuade her to buy something called structured notes. And I've looked into it, but I wanted to get your opinion on how that if that's a good investment product versus not.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Buying a five or 10 year structured note or just taking that same amount of money and putting it into a mutual fund that tracks the S&P 500 or something along those lines. Is that something you're familiar with and do you have an opinion on it? Thank you. Yeah, don't do it. Don't do it.
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah. I'm considering either buying a brand-new truck versus getting into it.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. How old is your mother? My mother is 81. 81. Okay, all right, here's the thing. A structured node is a bond propped up with a derivative, okay? And here's the way bonds work. If you buy a bond and the interest rate on the face of the bond, you buy a $10,000 bond and it pays 3%. Okay? When interest rates go up above 3% to 6%, the $10,000 bond becomes worth less. Does that make sense?
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
You don't go buy a brand-new truck when you're broke. No. Okay. Okay. This 2018, if it was running, is worth what?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yes, it does. And when the interest rates go down, the $10,000 bond becomes worth more than $10,000. So in a rising or high interest rate environment, you have a good chance of losing money on bonds. They are not safer. The financial world has I'll be kind, has mistakenly said that bonds are safer than equities.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And in general, they're not, particularly in an interest rate environment that's as volatile as the one we're in right now. We don't know what interest rates are going to do in the next 12 months. With a change in administration, with a change in move in the economy, I hope they come down, which would make her bonds in this case worth more. But the derivative portion of this is a high-risk play.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And why in the world he's putting her in a volatile instrument at 81 years old with a high-risk play, it just sounds weird to me. I think that's irresponsible.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, my best guess, it's high costs and fees that go to the financial advisor.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
That's why I would choose that product if I was this guy. I'd go, well, I'm going to make more money off this one than putting her in a simple mutual fund.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
That's my understanding, that there is a high fee involved with that particular product. Okay. Probably. I mean, we're not positive. We don't know which product he's got in front of her, but how long has he been taking care of her, in quotes? Uh, God, a long time, 30 or 20 some odd years. Yeah. And what is she invested in now? Do we know?
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, she has a 401K, and I don't know what that is exactly. And she's just mutual funds, and I don't know exactly what the mutual funds are. She's got mutual funds that she purchased through UBS, and she's got mutual funds that she has in her 401K. She's got a combined net worth in about $400,000.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, I think I would just stay right where she is. Just stay where she is? Just stay with the mutual funds?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I might not stay with the financial advisor, but I'd stay right where she is.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
2018, I mean, if it was worth running, I mean, if it was running, it's $10,000, $11,000 ballpark. Yeah. So that's what you get. You get a $10,000 truck.
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I was thinking about that myself. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Thomas. We appreciate you calling. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Jill's in Dallas. Hi, Jill. How are you?
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Okay, I just have a question because I'm new to managing money. I was married for 15 years and recently finalized a divorce. I'd love your opinion. I don't know how much house I can afford or what would be wise to spend on a home.
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I'm sorry. It's a hard time of year with a broken heart.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, it's all good. I just, it was a long time coming.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, yeah. You're surviving, but it's not all good. But yeah, okay. I'm sorry you've been through this. Thank you. All right. I mean, we teach folks to get their home paid off as fast as possible. And in that vein, we have a standardized guideline that we use, which is super conservative for house payment. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, I have cash is what I'm wondering. Oh, how much cash do you have? Um, so I have, um, 1.2 million in mutual funds.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
You buried the lead there, Jill. Wow. Okay. You have 1.2 million in mutual funds. And what else?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
You got notes on this truck, right? Full of paid off. Okay. And so you want to use this as an excuse to do something stupid and go in debt and buy a truck you can't afford? No!
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And my monthly income. What else? Well, my monthly income for the next seven years will be 18,500. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
When we got divorced, I got money instead of property.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay, good. Yeah, you did. And you'll be making over $200,000 a year.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And you'll pay cash for this house. Assuming he pays the bill. This is alimony. And child support.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Alimony, yes, is the $18,500, but I do have the $1.2 and the $750.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah. And is he in good shape financially? Can we count on this $18,500?
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Are you going to develop a career, or what's your plan?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, $17,000 of that is alimony. I make a tiny bit, just a part-time job. I have two kids.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. So what are you going to do with the next 10 years of your life?
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I really don't know. I'm a teacher by trade in an Oklahoma that doesn't make any money.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. Well, it doesn't mean you don't get the alimony if you went into this classroom, right?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
All right. Just as a part of your healing, I want you to have the dignity of making some money somewhere down the line. You don't need it, but it's going to be good for you to feel that you are sustaining yourself in addition to all this money, okay?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Now, how much of the 1.2 are you thinking about spending on a house?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, I don't know. I don't know what's wise.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
No, I ask you. You've been thinking about it. This isn't your first rodeo.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I mean, some days I think like 300,000 would be really modest and it'd be enough space for us. But then I get kind of starry-eyed and there's pretty homes for 800,000. Mm-hmm. So I don't really know.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
My thing is I don't want to put myself in a predicament down the road that I think, oh, my gosh, I bought too much house. I shouldn't have done that.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, too much house would be a payment you can't afford, and that's not a problem.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
The house is going to go up in value, and if you ever want to sell it, usually you can sell a house if it's a decent house, right? You're not stuck in it. So if you pay cash for a $700,000 house and you wake up a few years later with regret, you can sell it.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And then you still have $500,000 left over plus $700,000 in a 401k plus $18,000 a month, right? Mm-hmm. It feels to me that's very safe to be in the $700,000 range. Okay. That's very safe. I just...
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
How much money do you have saved up? About $20,000 saved up.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay, thank you. I value your opinion a lot.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, I mean, you need to work that math out and feel very safe about it, not just because Dave said so.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And work with a good agent. Jump on ramseysolutions.com slash agent and start shopping around and see what you can get for that amount and if you're happy with it.
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, get a real estate, one of our Ramsey-trusted real estate agents there. They'll help you. They'll do a good job of helping you work through the decision-making on this as well. This is The Ramsey Show. If you like this show, help us out by sharing it. Following us, subscribing, whatever the format is your listing allows you to do. Oh, and also you could leave a nice five-star review.
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I mean, come on, be generous. We need your help. It helps spread the word, by the way, when you do all of those things, and you guys are spreading the word, and we really, really appreciate you telling people about us, especially when you tell people nice things about us. Thank you. Elliot is in Denver. Hi, Elliot. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.
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Hello. Um, so I'm in a bit of a predicament with my kind of housing after the end of the year. Um, I've been going to school or going to college on and off, um, the last like 18 months or so, uh, for meteorology. Um, but in between there, I, uh, worked as a, uh, aircraft ramp agent. So like a, a baggage handler, um, at the airport here in Denver for six months at a airline that had high turnover.
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. And that $20,000 you have saved, does that include your emergency fund, or is this just your car savings fund is $20,000?
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
So I actually worked my way up all the way to where I was a supervisor, but I liked the work, but I liked the work environment or not the things that I would do with the job, working with the, with the planes and stuff. But I didn't like the, uh, kind of business corporate environment of it. And so I decided to go back to school and, uh, that didn't quite work out, um, as well as it, uh,
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How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
as I thought it would. And so now I am no longer getting any financial support for school from my parents, which was previously the, they were paying for my school. And now I'm being kind of told that I am expected to move out of their house at the
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
um at around the end of the year and i don't really know what to do right now um i have like things didn't work out at school what does that mean um i wasn't able to pass a math class that i was taking why um and because i wasn't good at kind of managing time with the uh mainly like the homework assignments and um honestly do you have a learning disability
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Um, no, I have like ADHD, but, um, I don't, I'm not sure if that's a learning disability or not, but that wouldn't keep you from passing a math class. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Buying a new car is not an emergency, honey, by definition. It's a Bryce wants a new truck is what this is. That is true. There's no emergency here. All right. So let's backtrack a little bit. If you get a different car, you need to get about a $10,000 car that you can pay cash for. Okay? Okay. That's the wise thing to do in your situation.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Um, it's kind of getting distracted by things, um, that I should realize when you're looking back now, I shouldn't have.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And, um, you're so vague stuff like, I have no idea what the crap you're talking about. Are you telling me you've been drinking and smoking dope and partying and you're flunked out of school so your parents are throwing you out?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I've never been that kid. It's just finding it hard motivationally sometimes to just do work. But I have decided that I'm not going back to school.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay, and you're moving out. So how can we help you?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
So was there an agreement with your parents where they said, here's the deal. We're going to pay for school, and you're going to go to class and pass. And that will allow you to live here, and we will pay for school. If not, here's what happens.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
If not, and now we're at the if not. Sounds like you agreed to this plan. Now you're moving. How can we help you?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
So I just am not sure. Like in terms of like with work, like getting a job here is – I'm able to do that, but none of the jobs that I see that I can get would really pay for the cost of living in Denver is so high.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Sounds like you can't afford to live in Denver. What were you making on the ramp job?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
an hour you can get a roommate in an apartment in denver out on the out on the edges of denver towards the airport which is not anywhere near denver but um yeah yeah move out of town get an apartment with a roommate and making three or four grand a month right and then crank your and then crank your hours up and work your butt off you can make it okay but you need you need can you get back on over there
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I think I could try another similar operation like that.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, jump in, man. For sure. Because that's a known quantity. I'm not saying you need to be doing that when you're 35, but for right now, that'll get some money coming in and let you get stabilized and get yourself established as an adult, working on their own, paying their own bills, which is what your parents are demanding.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And then you can reset and say, okay, while I'm doing this, what do I want to study and how can I study it? And start taking some night classes. to go be something else. But I would get my feet on the ground over there at the ramp, start throwing some bags, making some money, and I'd be working like 60, 80 hours a week because I'd be scared I'd be hungry.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And you're going to have to deal with this underlying problem of time management and responsibility.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Being hungry is a motivator. You don't have to worry about being motivated. Being homeless is a motivator. You want to pay rent. You want to pay having the lights cut off and it gets cold in that apartment because you didn't go to work. That's a motivator. You will suddenly be motivated.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
You don't need to look for motivation at that point.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
It'll be it'll be finding you. It's called survival, dude. It's called sustainability. And, um, you know, you don't have the option of not being motivated when you need to eat and keep the lights on and not be homeless. And so that's, that's what you're set up for. And that's going to be good for you.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
You're going to, you're going to learn some good things about Elliot that Elliot can work and Elliot can stay on the job and Elliot can keep focused and Elliot can push through what cause Elliot freaking has to now. And, um, I think it's gonna be wonderful for you. It's gonna be the best thing ever happened to you. Maybe I kind of like your parents.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I think they're pushing you out of the nest and saying, fly, little eagle, fly. Otherwise, like Dave says, you become a turkey. Yeah, if you stay in the nest too long, eagles become turkeys. That's science.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
It is science. It's evolution. Is it de-evolution? It's de-evolution, de-escalation. Fly, little turkey, fly. I mean, fly, little eagle, fly. You're going to be fine, but you're going to have to get your button gear like yesterday. And if you can't get more than 40 hours at the airport, next door there's a place called UPS, and they'll let you throw boxes. It's Christmas time.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
They desperately need your help over there. The Amazon warehouse that's out there in the middle of nowhere, this looming beacon of light for Americans purchasing things, will hire you in a heartbeat to work in their warehouse right now. They are stepping and fetching. It's Christmas time. And so you're not going to have time to worry about motivation because you're going to be at work all the time.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Because car payments are a mathematical ball and chain that will 100% cause you to not build wealth and stay middle class the rest of your life. If you invest into a good mutual fund, what you were getting ready to put into that truck, you'll be wealthy. Okay. That's what I want you to do. And I'm not against truck. I got a nice truck. I drove a nice truck to work today. All right.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
That helps. I found that when I'm distracted by work, I'm rarely bored. And I'm rarely broke. That's a good combination. My grandmother used to say there's a great place to go when you're broke. Toe work. It's wisdom. Here's the thing. This could be the best thing that ever happened to you in your whole life if you decide it is. And, you know, no excuses. No excuses. Go get it. Go get it.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Open phones at 888-825-5225. Diane is in Phoenix. Hi, Diane. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. I'm short on time. Go straight to your question.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I hear you. I hear you, Dave. Thank you. I hope you guys are having a blessed day. I have an annuity question. My mother recently passed away. I'm the executive of the estate annuity. The beneficiary was my sister. Not a problem there.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
However, my question is, my mother, when the contract, the annuity came mature last fall, and my 91-year-old mother had no idea what to do or what they were talking about or what they were asking her for. had to make a choice of taking a lump sum or monthly payments for the next 10 years.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. She died. When she dies, the beneficiary gets a lump sum.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, that's not what they're telling me, and that's why I'm calling.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Oh, I'm by God going to get a lump sum. Oh, no, no. They don't have a choice. They're trying to con you. Absolutely, they do not have a choice. They're trying to get you. You can elect to take payments, but you are not forced to stick with her contract. She died. The beneficiary gets a lump sum.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay, what is my next step? They're just telling me there's nothing I can do.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Tell them there is something I can do. I'm going to the insurance commission and file a complaint on you crooks.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
There you go. That's what I needed to know, Dave, and I'm walking into my lawyer's office right now as well to talk about this same subject. So, thank you.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Absolutely bogus, dadgum insurance people. So they love to get you on payments rather than giving out the money. They don't want the money to leave them, their control. And so they're like presenting two options and acting like you only have one. Nope. Now, they will offer you payment option, a contract, again, as a beneficiary. But never, you're not forced to take it and never take it.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Time to get out of Dodge, for your sister anyway. Take that lump sum and invest it. Yeah, and do something good with it that's not leaving it with them. This is The Ramsey Show.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
What up, what up? It's Dr. John Deloney from the Dr. John Deloney Show with some amazing news. The latest episode of United States of Anxiety is available right now exclusively on the Ramsey Network app. This docuseries follows real people from my show as they embark on a 90-day journey to transform their lives, and I personally walk alongside them every step of the way.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay, now, here's a sneak peek of what the new episode is all about. And don't forget to click the link in the show notes to download the app. What's up, Kelsey?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
What does crippling anxiety mean? Paint me a picture of that. All right, so you ready to jump in?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
We're going to check in with Kelsey 30 days, 60 days, 90 days.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
She's experiencing things that really hurt a long time ago. Tell me about this boy.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
It just feels like it would be exhausting to be Kelsey.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Whenever somebody's playing whack-a-mole with their anxiety, when it just keeps moving, that tells me the underlying system's not okay.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
One of two people that's supposed to never leave took off.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Your burden, that's right. To the one person who should carry it, all of it. Did you ever tell that little girl that it wasn't her fault? I don't know what to do. You either have to choose to let this guy love you, or you gotta choose to let this guy go.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah. That's not the point. Now, let's backtrack on one other thing, too. $15,000 for a new engine in that truck is asinine. Somebody's running you up a flag. So you need to look at a couple of other things. Number one, I want you to hit two more good mechanics, and I want you to consider two possibilities to fix the truck before you make the decision to get rid of it.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Number one possibility is buy a salvage engine from a junkyard on a truck that was totaled, but the engine's perfect. And the engine has 10,000, 15,000 miles on it. And you can buy that for pennies of what you're talking about. Or do something like a factory rebuilt motor, not a brand new motor like a Jasper brand. As an example, they rebuild them and it's half of what you're talking about.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Hey, so I manage a special needs trust for my mother who's 67. And currently the money in that account is about 170,000 and it's all sitting in cash. And I got a call from the bank today asking if I, you know, they kind of encouraged me to invest it in different ways. And I recently saw a video of you talking about the risks of bonds.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
So you do not need a brand new engine in a 2018. That's asinine fix. That's a bad repair. So you need a used engine or a rebuilt engine in a 2018. Then you decide if you're going to keep it or not. No new trucks, Bryce, if you want to be rich. This is the Ramsey Show. George Campbell Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Bill is with us in San Diego. Hi, Bill. How are you? Bill? Hello, Bill.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Hey, how are you? How can we help? I'm good. How are you? Good. How can we help today, sir?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
All right. So my wife and I combined, we make about $500,000 to $600,000 a year. But we still somehow are unable to save as much as I believe we should save. So that's my problem. I mean, our monthly expenses are about $30,000 a month. And, uh, you know, then add taxes to that. So we pretty much even out every year. And I believe when we make five to $600,000 a year, we should be able to save one.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I would agree. I think the $30,000 a month expense is your clue.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Uh, well it's on two properties. One is primary residence and one is an investment property. And the debt payments on the mortgage are added to about $12,000 a month. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Why do you need $18,000 a month to run your household?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, about $8,000 to $9,000 go to charity for a good cause. And then the rest, like I would say, about $10,000... is for groceries, utilities, for the car payment, and a little bit for, you know, towards... Why do you have car payments when you make $600,000 a year?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Say that again? Why would you have a car payment when you make $600,000 a year?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, one of the cars is paid off, or the other one is a lease, so we make about $750 a month for that one. We have a bigger family, five people, so it's a relatively bigger SUV.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, which you could have written a check and purchased and should have instead of leasing and renting your car for $700 a month. Okay. So, yeah. you're giving away a hundred thousand dollars a year in that $30,000 a month budget. You said eight to $10,000. So there's a hundred thousand dollars of it goes, right?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Uh, yeah, easy. Yeah. It could be more than that. A hundred, 220. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. And, um, you know, and you've got a car payment, um, which we would not have, um, uh, And what do you guys do for a living?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I own a business, and my wife works with a company. She makes about $100,000 and the rest is my income, and I own a service-based business.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Okay. All right. The way you're discussing this, the language you're using is very general. It's not precise about the numbers, which tells me you're kind of just throwing this over there and just shocked that it disappeared. So if I woke up in your shoes, you've got a level of disgust.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
says this is not okay, is what you're saying, we make this kind of money, we shouldn't have no money, we shouldn't have a car payment when we make 600 grand, we should have just bought the car, then what I would do is simply do a detailed budget with your spouse. and come into agreement of what we want to give, what we want to save, and what we want to spend and what we want to spend it on.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And I wanted to call and ask your opinion on how I should best feel about this.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And every month before the month begins, every dollar has an assignment exactly. But it kind of feels like, Bill, I went through a period of time in my life where I thought I could out-earn my stupidity, my lack of organization, my lack of detail, and you can't.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
If you had a person working in your business that was managing a section of your business as poorly as you are managing your finances, you would fire them for incompetence. And so you've got to kind of treat it that way from an emotional standpoint and do a detailed budget.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah, I would not do any bonds for sure. Your mom is in a special needs trust? What's her issue?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And it's funny, Dave, as people make more, especially people who are good at making money, like Bill's good at making money, you're good at making money, you think you can just solve the problem by, well, I'll just make more money as long as we don't overdraft. We're doing okay. But when you do that budget, you realize if this was a business, you go, we are wasting a lot of money in this business.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
We could be doing a lot better if we cut the spending, get out of this debt. We might need to sell this investment property. It's not a blessing right now. Might need to downshift some of our giving a little bit until we get back on track. So that's the kinds of things you, the levers you'd be pulling. If this was a business, you need to treat your household the same way.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Yeah. Every... You need to detail it out and then stick to it, and both of you, you and your wife, have an agreement. You're both looking at it. You're not bringing it in, slapping it down on the table and declaring, I have done a budget. You people will live on it. That won't work. Now you get your wife involved in the disgust. It's not okay that we make this much money and we have no money.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
It's not okay that we make this much money and we don't invest. So generosity is awesome. Investing is amazing. Enjoying money, yes, you should. All three things. But very, very, very, very, very, very intentional. And right now you're not intentional. You're kind of throwing a bale of dollars over the fence and then coming back to see what's left later and after the family devours it.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
She has multiple sclerosis, has had it for 30 years, and is in a nursing home.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
And so it may be you downshift your giving. Your giving is pretty heavy. I'm not against generosity in any form. I tell folks to do it all the time. But if you're doing zero investing and you're giving 20%, you may need to adjust that at least temporarily.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
But I think you've got some lifestyle issues, and I think you guys just kind of walk around and do whatever you want because you make enough money. And I think if you'll just actually pay attention and say, no, we're not doing that. No, that's crazy. We're spending what on that? Yeah. And you start actually telling the money what to do, you'll very naturally tighten this up a little bit.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Dane is in Houston, Texas. Hi, Dane. How are you?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Oh, wow. Okay. And the 170 is all the money she has in the world?
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Well, in a sense, you have a high interest rate now because you have a hurricane tax.
The Ramsey Show
How to Escape Living Paycheck to Paycheck
In a sense. Um, uh, because of the location of the property, um, you know, uh, uh, it's causing you pain. I can use causing, which is cause you asked the question. Well, I mean, the only thing wrong with moving is that you're going to not going to get the same rate next time. Well, whoopie doopie. When rates come down, you can refinance. We, but we marry the house. We date the rate.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
Hey, I'm calling. So I'm 29. My wife is 28. We filed, we made $152,000 last year. We're on pace to make $175,000 this year. I'm a firefighter. She's in medical sales. So we bought a house a year and a half ago. We have a $350,000 mortgage. We have $28,000 in a car loan debt. and 18K in student loans.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
My wife, when she was a young child, her grandma started her a UTMA account, and that account currently has $225,000 in it. We have $35K in a Roth IRA and about $20,000 in savings other than that. So my question is, do we use that UTMA to pay off the car loan and student loans, and then about, say, a six-month emergency fund for the rest towards a mortgage.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
Last year we filed 152,000 and then I just promoted and got a raise through my job. So we're going to do about 175 this year.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
So when she got it started, she was young. So I think it was started at 100 grand and it's at 225. Now we do get dividends in it every year, but like A couple thousand maybe. It's not much.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
Our six month emergency fund would be like thirty five to forty thousand dollars, like a good six month emergency fund. So we would keep that. But that's another thing to keep that in the UTMA or put that in like a high yield savings.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
We do have a tax guy that we use, but we never brought this question up to him. He just kind of, you know, does her taxes, I guess.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
How are you all doing? Good. Yeah, well, I appreciate you taking my call. It wasn't a quick wait.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
Trust me, it was worth it for me. I'm going to run you through some numbers before I ask you my questions. Love it. Awesome. Well, my wife and I are 26. I make $75,000 a year. She makes $45,000 a year. I work in trucking insurance sales, and she is a fourth grade teacher, so $120,000 a year.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
As of Friday, this upcoming Friday, I will be getting a raise of $57,000 to equal $132,000, and she will be making $48,000 next year with a total income of $180,000. Nice. The kicker is she is giving birth to our first child a week from today.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
Yeah, it's coming quick. And we have $15,000 in savings. I have $15,000 in car debt. I have $42,000 in student loan debt. We have a beautiful home that we purchased about a year ago. And my question is, do I continue to tackle this debt? Because I think I could get it, you know, really, really low very quickly.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
But I also would like to start a fund to start our, you know, our son off well to be able to go to college for free or, you know, when he turns 18 to have a good savings for him when, you know, he gets 18.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
I mean, by that time, we'll probably owe about $215,000 on our house. This past year, we bought a fixer-upper and put a bunch of money into it from our reach back in our savings, which at the time we had about $40,000 when we bought the house. So we used a lot of the money to do the updates and stuff. I'm quite handy, so I did them all myself.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
Yeah, I might change the order on that a little bit.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
Hey, guys. Thanks for taking my call. How are you guys doing today?
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
So my wife and I, we're about a million dollars in debt. Whoa. Most, yeah. Well, most of it's homes with a mortgage. Yeah. So we have two homes. Okay. We just moved into our new one a few months ago. Um, our last house is currently being rented out for, uh, $2,300 a month. Mortgage is 24 or, uh, sorry. Uh, rent they're paying 23. I, our mortgage every month is 14.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
Um, and kind of my question is, uh, if we were to sell that house, we'd probably, it's probably doubled. It's about doubled. What would you bring from it? Um, About $250,000.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
Okay. And anything else? Yeah. My wife has $100,000 in student loan debt. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
And we have a vehicle that we just bought not too long ago. That's $23,000.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
Combined, about $170,000. $170,000.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
Yeah. Yeah, it was probably a little reckless. Yeah. We have two kids, and the car that we had was kind of small for just our everyday use, and so we wanted to get something a little bigger, so we got a VW Atlas, and we just wanted something bigger, and in my mind, unfortunately, my grandmother passed away a year or so ago now, and
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
We have an inheritance coming in and I was like, okay, I'll just, we use that to pay for this car. Not sure we're coming in the next couple days. It was like, okay, we can at least have an upgrade and it'd be nice to have.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
Yeah. I'm not 100% sure. I don't think we've started quite paying on it just yet. I'd have to ask my wife.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
Yeah, I have a brokerage account with Wells Fargo, Lincoln Pfizer's. And there's about 80 grand in there. And I work for the feds, so I have a TSP account.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
Hello. So I've been talking to my wife about whether we should pay off our vehicle or just save our money in the bank. We have about $32,000 in our savings account. And then we still owe about $35,000 into our CRV. We bought the vehicle because we wanted a bigger car because of our growing family. And the car that we had previously was just too small. That's where I'm currently at.
The Ramsey Show
Your Bank Balance Is a Reflection of Your Habits
I don't know whether I should just pay it off in full or should I just keep on making my payment each and every month? Is that your only debt? That's my only, aside from my mortgage.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Like, what are they telling you? Trying to find them. I believe I found a lawyer finally. I paid the fees. I haven't heard from them yet. Unfortunately, I don't know what's been done. How long ago was this? About a month ago.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
This is like my 10th lawyer. I'm telling you, I've been trying.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Well, no, he doesn't. Well, I'm asking if you think I should move out of my dad's house, like before he secures a job here, or if I should just wait until he does secure a job here and me and him move in somewhere together.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Yes, like, but once he... Once he comes, yeah. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
No, I would tell her to get married first, but that is our plan. It's just like I live with my dad. We're not engaged.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Hi, Dave. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So I've kind of gotten myself or my life into a big mess, and I stumbled across your show, and I'm trying to take steps to... to get out of debt. Um, so I guess I would be in baby step two. Um, yes.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Um, the problem I'm running into is before I came across your show, um, me and my fiance, I was, I was really big on trying to get us to kind of put our money together and kind of tackle this together. Um, now that I've kind of came across that, I learned it's a big no, no to put your money together before you are married. Um, and I am the breadwinner of our house. We have 10 people in my home.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
So between we have five children and then I just adopted my nephew and I have his big brother at my house too. So, um, I'm feeling all of this pressure. I work two full time jobs and I'm just trying to get control. He works a full time job at the hospital working on hospital equipment.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
I'm an old, He annually, probably about 50. And what do you earn? Last year, I made $160. Doing what now?
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
I'm an ultrasound technician. You're working a lot then. Yeah, I do full-time nights, and then I take call full-time days. So I pretty much do a 24-hour shift.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
I had two from a previous marriage.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
not marriage, just relationship. And then I put myself through school as a single mom, and then I got my career, and then I met him. And we got pregnant quickly, and then since then we've been together for six years.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
And you guys have three kids together?
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Well, at first we put it on hold because my father fell ill and I was his caretaker. And then we just haven't done it. One, finances. I felt like it was silly to spend money for a wedding. Let me ask you this.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
I'm scared because my— What are you scared of?
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
My child from another relationship and my nephew that I just got custody of, they're not big fans of him. They're not what?
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
They're not fans of him. yeah like i feel like there's red flags they they don't like him they think i deserve better six years yeah two children too late to ask some child their opinion of this guy yeah they don't get a vote we're in we're in we're in therapy together working on some relational issues do you feel like you'll be with him long term i mean do you want to marry him
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Um, I mean, most of the time I do feel like that, but it's more like we, we go through the motions of raising our kids. So sometimes I wonder like once the kids are grown up, the longevity, if that makes sense. Sometimes it feels like we're in this.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
I think there's just a lot of fear, and I tell a lot of pressure because he's coming to me now, and he's like, okay, let's put our money together. And I'm like, we're not married.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
It scares me because of the children. I don't want a broken home just because we're not.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
I think I'm just afraid to get married, and then he's... You're afraid of not getting married.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Yeah, I just want to take care of my family, and I think financial-wise it makes sense for us to get married, but personal.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Yeah. Well, it's new for me because he's never wanted to put our money together before. It's always just been very separate.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Thank you for taking my call, Mr. Ramsey.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Sure. I am 55 years old in a divorce settlement. I got a simple IRA of $1.2 million. I cannot work due to some health issues. My concern is I'm kind of, uh, I'm concerned about my burn rate and ways to mitigate my tax, my taxes. I know I'm getting a 10% early withdrawal fee because of my age and, of course, income tax. I'm not sure what to do.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Yes, I have some cognitive issues that I'm not getting hired.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Correct. I have no debts and I have no assets. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Well, when I got the settlement, I decided to work on my bucket list. So I did a couple things like jump out of an airplane and move to New York City. And then I started looking at it. I love it. That's awesome.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
So I'm living my life. I really do love it. And then I sort of went, wait a minute, I need to make this last another 20, 30 years and then realize that's probably not going to happen the way I'm going through with my burn rate.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Um, I have someone who's managing the IRA, but not a financial advisor. No, I feel like I want like a tax strategist.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Financial advisors want to, um, make me save enough money so I'll have 1.2 million when I'm 100 years old and in a nursing home, and I don't want that. I have no one to save my money for. I want to be able to live my life now.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
I have, but with everything that's going on, they say it's probably going to take a year or two years before everything might check out.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
There's just a long waiting period, I was told.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
No, I have to pay for my insurance.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Minus taxes. Income taxes. No, it puts you down about $75,000, $80,000 take-home pay.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Well, I was actually calling because my husband is very obsessed with you in a good way and big on living like no one else. So later we can live like no one else. I've always admired and appreciated the dedication, but lately it's kind of taken over. an extreme turn and seems to be taking a toll on his mental health and quite honestly, mine as well lately.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
So my question is, how do you suggest finding a balance between financial responsibility and unhealthy fixation?
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
In his mind, he thinks that our financial situation is, like, way worse or we're not where we should be in life right now, even though, in my opinion, I think that we're, you know, in a good place.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Probably recently, like, the last two or three years.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Yeah. It has really been, like, I don't want to seem like I'm, like, ungrateful for his dedication and all the effort that he puts into it, but it starts to kind of make me feel like, should I be worried? Even though I don't feel like we should be.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Yeah, we are on the every dollar budget.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Well, not to that extreme, but if we do want to go out to dinner, it is still like, oh, we've got to tighten up. We don't have any car payments. We don't have any credit card debt. We don't have any student loans. We've got over $100,000 in retirement.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Yeah, it's gotten to the point where it's like I kind of dread talking about it.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Around $150,000 together, combined.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Yeah. And, I mean, he's 25, so it's this intense here in this part of life, I can only imagine that it's, If we don't do something about it, it's just going to get a lot more intense.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Hi, Dave and Rachel. Thank you for having me.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
I was calling to ask, me and my boyfriend have been together for about two years. He lives there in Spring Hill, Tennessee, and I live in Michigan. And we discussed getting married, and he has plans on relocating to Michigan, but he's not willing to relocate without securing a job first. And he's been applying, but his lease ends in June.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
I'm doing well. How are you doing?
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Okay, sir. About a year ago, my daughter was killed in a murder-suicide by her husband. Whoa. I'm trying to get through this.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
I have custody of my grandchildren. They left three children. One he had from a previous marriage, but I have two, which was theirs. Um, because of this, um, they have a house in Texas. I've been paying on this house for almost a year. I'm trying to figure out if I should keep paying for it because it has to go through probate or continue to get
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
take care of myself, and pay off my debt, which I have a student loan that is about $80,000, but I had to put that on pause in order to take care of this house.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Well, according to a young man I had to go evaluate it, it has a little over $100,000 in equity. $100,000 to $130,000 in equity.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Well, I believe that's my fault because I'm living here in Atlanta and the house is in Texas. So I had to travel back and forth, of course, to take care of things there.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
It was hard to find a lawyer, to be honest.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
I'm already $20,000 in, and I'm getting nervous.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Taking care of the house, making sure it stays secure.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Okay. I'm also a caretaker for my mother-in-law, so I'm home. So you're married? Yes, sir.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Okay, may I say something else, sir? Sure. Okay, so when it goes through probate, A lot of the fees will eat into that. Am I correct?
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
And I'm just wondering if you think it's a good idea to wait for him to secure a job to come to Michigan to find a place together, or if I should move out. I live with my dad. Me and my daughter moved in after I got divorced. And so I was just wondering what you both think.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Okay. I mean, I've called like 10 lawyers. Hopefully, I found one. Hopefully, I have not.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
It's a city called Temple, Texas. All right.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Austin. Austin. I mean, Austin is like an hour and a half away.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Well, thank you, Dave. I hope so.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Journey Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Believe me, I've been there five times trying to get this done.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Привет, спасибо, что пригласил меня. Как ты?
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Это дом стоит $450,000. Мы зарабатываем $170,000. И сколько вы зарабатываете на доме? Мы зарабатываем... Что? Сколько вы зарабатываете?
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
И я также плачу за студентские налоги. У меня есть около 10 тысяч долларов, которые я расширил в бюджетном фонде, и я просто пытаюсь решить, что делать в следующем. Может, я должен заплатить за студентские налоги, или просто продолжать платить за retirement, поскольку интересные цены немного ниже, чем вы ожидаете, чтобы выйти из рынка.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
У меня есть красивая, ответственная 19-летняя дочь, которая живет с нами, и она начинает сделать меня дочерью. Я знаю, это смешно, я сказала ответственная сначала, да?
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Да, хорошо. Моя вопрос, ну, финансово ответственная, трудоватая, отличная работа и морально сильная. Именно. Потому что у нас есть сильное основание, которое обеспечивает их финансовой ответственностью. Мы идем годами по годам. И это в текущей ситуации.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Когда они учатся в школе, мы им обеспечиваем зарплату. И когда они учатся в школе, они получают все эти деньги. Если они не получают, то мы им обеспечиваем. Она могла в школе обеспечить нам зарплату в 500 долларов в месяц. И она также зарабатывала 6000 долларов, работая полностью 6 месяцев. Так что у нее есть 7000 долларов в ее зарплате.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Я делаю это 30 лет. Никто не звонил мне и сказал, что они были обмануты, потому что они платили за дом.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
И мой вопрос был, может ли я даже позволить ей это обеспечить?
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Это просто короткое дело? Что это выглядит? Это так. Она развивалась в больнице около 5-6 недель, и в ее больнице, до того, как она даже могла процессировать, и она стала так больной, что она была госпитализирована. The good news is that it does go away the moment she delivers. And she's managed it now. The hospitalization helps them to manage her sickness.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
И это точно то, что я буду делать. Ты хорошая мама.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Я бы был без вреда вчера, если бы я был с тобой.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Ну, Дэйв, я бы хотела уничтожить мой портфель и быть способна... Я хочу трейдить с криптовалютой.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
У меня есть инвестиционный аккаунт, у меня есть ТСФА и у меня есть аккаунт RIF.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Потому что я теряю в моем портфолио драматически в этом году. И я просто знаю, что я не верю, что я вернусь за долгое время. Они говорят, что он вернется, но я думаю, что он не вернется за 10 лет. И я уже 72, поэтому я просто чувствую, что... И я также испытываю. Это не так, как я не... Я делаю крипто-трейдинг сейчас за некоторое время. Ты видела крипто-маркет?
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Ну, я сделала деньги в крипто-маркете. Сколько? Примерно 10 тысяч долларов.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Но я также выбрала контракты, которые были ниже, потому что у меня не было так много денег, чтобы с этим делать что-то.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Девушка, ты просто спишь намного лучше завтра. Я имею в виду, что мы оба зарегистрированы, так что инвестиции не должны быть дополнительными.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Я никогда не закрываю рынок в негативном положении. Он всегда в позитивном положении.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Ну, это звучит так, что этот трейдер, наверное, говорит ей, что ты должен ее вылечить и дать мне все свои деньги.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Привет, меня зовут Джессика, и я 37 лет, и у меня два родственника. И моя вопрос, как я получаю моментум? Я на Бейби Степпе №1, у меня около $17,000 в налогах между студентами. Моя карта полностью заплатилась, но я просто пытаюсь получить моментум, чтобы получить деньги для Бейби Степпе №1, потому что я всегда пытаюсь подтвердить свои покупки.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
И я просто пытаюсь найти способ, чтобы получить моментум, чтобы остановить валидацию этих вопросов. Какая твоя зарплата? Сейчас я делаю около 38 тысяч в год.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Я слушала Дэйва Рамзи от и до за около 11 лет. Но я действительно вошла в это более в последние несколько месяцев. вот это фейсбук дачи интерфейс матрия каком-то амалии варьер варьер вывал на бенцовый вот маленькая дата я даю деда деда деда деда деда деда деда деда деда
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
He's a school teacher and also has a training, like a personal training gig on the side that he does.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
And my concern is that he really hasn't made any profit off of the business.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Part of my business income was paid in cash and partly by payment apps like Venmo, etc.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
I've been paying taxes on everything except the cash and I was wondering morally and legally how I should handle that income.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Привет. Мои родители недавно взяли два налога на ремонт их дома в количестве 55 тысяч долларов. И они пытаются сказать мне, что я ответственен за это. И я хочу знать, если я должен согласиться с этим или нет.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Спасибо, да, так что я не могла бы без вас. Но у меня есть 3-6 месяцев зарплаты, я только что закончила это, и я спрашиваю сейчас, если я должен инвестировать мои 15%, или если я должен зарабатывать на свадьбу, которую мой парень и я планируем иметь в около 1,5 года. Так что я спрашиваю, если я должен инвестировать на это.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Да, я плачу за мои студентские налоги, чтобы я мог переработать. Это не важно, это не хорошо для вас.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Я работаю с местным департаментом социальных услуг.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Окей. Так что ваш учебник в чем? Это в экосистеме.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
О, когда я последний раз получил 110. Окей.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Конечно, если бы это была просто дом, который я ищу, который я ищу в нормальной ситуации, я бы получил риэлтора. Я получил бы риэлтора в этой ситуации? Я не знаю, как с этим бороться.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Мы думаем, что да. Мы просто хотим планировать это, и если что-то придет, то мы пойдем за этим. Но да, мы просто хотим планировать это сами, просто в случае. Хорошо, я бы поставил очень специальный цель, номер, который вы пытаетесь снять, чтобы спасать.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
В конце концов, но они спрашивают меня, прежде чем они листят это.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Но я думаю, что преимущество в том, что никто еще не смог бы предоставить обещание.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Me and my wife would like to put some money away for them.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
We were wondering what the best thing would be.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
И поэтому мы говорим тебе, что ты будешь инвестировать в свадьбу сначала, потому что что-то случается, ты начинаешь инвестировать 15%, свадьба была в бюджете, теперь нам нужно поставить ее на кредитную карту. Конечно, да. Так что, что ты думаешь, что ты будешь зарабатывать? Мы думаем, может быть, между, я бы сказала, мы думаем между 20 и 30, depending on what rates are, but
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Примерно нет. У нас есть только два кредитных карта, но на них нет вреда. У нас есть около $3,000 в бюджетном бюджете.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Да, мы смотрели на это, потому что... Потому что у тебя есть друг в инвестиционном бизнесе. Да.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
About two months ago, my grandmother passed away, and I received about a $1.1 million inheritance. Wow!
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
У меня есть множество разнообразных мнений от нашего финансового директора. У меня есть друзья, которые работают в финансовой индустрии. Я работал в банке 30 лет. Я думаю, что я ищу другую мнение, может быть, один с немного большим кредитом, чем некоторые другие, я думаю.
The Ramsey Show
Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Money
Я не получил это в моем банковском аккаунте, я просто переехал в один из финансовых институтов, с которыми она была связана. Но сейчас это разделено на 350 тысяч, это личные выборы и CD, а потом 750 тысяч в менеджерском аккаунте. Хорошо. Я не играю в сингл-стоках, так что я, наверное, не буду делать это, потому что это больше риск.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Да, и он делает очень неприятные комментарии о женщинах и... Он как-то, я имею в виду, мы не очень много разговаривали, я думаю, сейчас, потому что мой муж делает хорошие деньги, я не знаю, если он будет открытым к этому, но я боюсь, что что-то важное произойдет скоро.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Да, я имею в виду, что у него были другие агентства, которые обратились к нему, потому что он очень хороший агент. Он продает много.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
So, yeah, so the boss is one thing, right, but it's you and your husband that need to make this decision, and so that's what I want to focus on, and so the fact that you haven't brought it up to him yet, or that it hasn't been a conversation, yeah, I mean, that's more of a, like a...
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Привет, спасибо, что пригласил меня. Спасибо, что принял мой звонок. Абсолютно. Я начинаю учиться в колледже в мае. И я буду фармакистом, когда я перейду на борт. О, боже. 482 тысячи. Ох, Расти, как ты? Ты в порядке? Да, я в порядке. Я больше боюсь, чем ты. Я слушал твою программу около года назад, и я чувствовал, что мне нужно пройти большой шевел, потому что я почти закончил школу.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
У меня есть работа, я начну. Сколько ты будешь делать? Я буду делать 108 тысяч. У меня есть работа, которая будет 7 дней на и 7 дней вовремя, поэтому я планирую взять еще одну работу. Хорошо.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
She just started this job a few months ago, so I'm going to say maybe around $30 to $35, somewhere in that range. What is she doing?
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Так что дом не должен быть переработан еще три-четыре года до того, как они заплатят за этот баллонный налог. Так что я не был уверен, должен ли я платить за другие вещи еще три года или так. Вы можете выйти из этой ситуации? Да.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Расти, ты будешь иметь... Сколько это будет стоить?
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Потому что мы купили это в 2017 году. Скажите еще раз. Мы купили это в 2017 году, так что это было несколько лет назад. Я уверен, что в этом рынке он поднялся немного. Да, я уверен, что он поднялся немного.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Между двумя машинами. Что стоят машины? Итак, мы платим около $10,000 на одну машину, которая стоит около $12,000 или $13,000. И мы платим около $23,700 на другую машину, которая стоит около $25,000 или $26,000.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Привет, ребята, мне очень приятно поговорить с вами обоих. Я в порядке. Какое время?
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Какова ваша вопрос? Спасибо. Моя вопрос для вас. Как моя жена и я решаем количество личных предметов в бюджете? Так что я верю, что равновесие не всегда обязательно верно, потому что, например, у нее волосы стоят гораздо дороже, чем у меня. Несмотря на то, что ты Джордж Кэмпбелл.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Да, и вы две идеальные парни, чтобы ответить на это, с женщиной, мужчиной и мужем. Окей. Да.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
I was going to say, the liens against it, too, would be diminished, too.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Well, what's so hard is, I'm like, you've lost your mom.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Да, корректно. Но, чтобы оставить это простым, мы можем разделить сумму в норвегском кроне на 10, и мы получили... И это работало? Да. Да, конечно, это работает, но она чувствует себя как-то виноватой.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Ну, я не буду долго говорить об этом, но в 2018 году Дэйв приехал в мою домашнюю церковь и я пришел к нему, чтобы поговорить с ним. Я был слабым и работал трудно, и я решил, что я буду следовать ему и работать трудно, а не слабым. И за последние несколько лет я работал очень трудно, и я поставил много семян на землю, и И я сказал моим детям, что у меня есть шоколад.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
И они сказали, что у меня есть шоколад. И я сказал, что у меня есть шоколад. И они сказали, что у меня есть шоколад. Мы были на ужине, и моя жена сказала, что мы только на ужине, и мы с семьей разговаривали, и мы говорили, что только мы два выйдем на ужин. И она сказала, что у нас есть ужин, и мы можем пойти. И я сказал, что нет, у меня нет ужина.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Моя жена и я остановились на вине и начали работать, что для нас как-то наш шутка. Мы собрали что-то вместе. Сейчас, я думаю, мы провели наш net worth в начале года, и это было около 4 миллионов.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Это здорово. Это невероятно. Сколько вам лет?
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
И это в основном ваша семья, а не ее? Нет, ее семья не знает, и... Вы говорите, что они не идут, мы не говорим о другом. После этого табакла. Да, они хорошие, но они все сверху. Они не на моей стороне. Они будут говорить, что это хорошо для тебя.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
большинство книг, и библиотека бесплатная, и я говорю тебе, все книги есть, ты можешь читать их, я скажу тебе, что я сделал.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Они говорят, что если ты не имеешь его, или ты не хочешь поделиться, это было просто много вреда, и поэтому Я с ним борюсь уже несколько месяцев. Я слушал его видео и подумал, что я должен просто позвонить и сказать, что у меня есть деньги. У меня не много людей в моей жизни, у которых есть деньги.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Ну, у меня есть новые друзья, я думаю, но сложно сказать своему брату, который смотрит на тебя, что у тебя 10 тысяч долларов для бизнеса. Я не имею 10 тысяч долларов для бизнеса. Я извиняюсь. Это не то, что у меня есть. Я могу поговорить с тобой об этом, но я не здесь.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Да. Нет, я согласен. То, что я продолжал поддерживать, это то, И они тоже могут это сделать. И это было очень тяжело для меня. Я не пытаюсь от них отходить. Я буду с вами ходить, я расскажу вам точно, как я это сделал. Я все это написал. Я держу свои бюджеты на бумаге. Я могу рассказать вам, как я это сделал. И да, у нас много успеха и много вещей, но мы можем сделать это вместе. Я помогу тебе.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
И они просто говорят, что нет, я не интересуюсь работой. Они начинали обманывать меня в начале, когда я сказал, что я буду следовать Дэви Рэмси. Они говорят, что нет, не делай этого. Это не сделает ничего. Я говорю, что хорошо. Он выглядит как его жена и его жена. Я тоже хочу это сделать.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Сейчас будет много разных вещей, которые будут расти на поверхности. Да, это то, что мой отец сказал. Да, 100%. Прямо на голове. Это необычная беседа, необычное место. Я думал, что, может быть, лучший курс будет...
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Дэн находится в Шикаго. Как мы можем помочь, Дэн? Да, я пастор, и я живу в доме, который получен от церкви. И мы готовы зарабатывать, и моя жена и я как-то чувствуем, что нам нужно купить мудрый дом, чтобы, возможно, получить немного вреда и защитить нас от ростов и так далее.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Да. Сколько денег у вас есть? Ну, у нас будет около $2,000 в месяц после снижения Medicare и Social Security. У нас будет около $350,000 в 403b аккаунте. И у нас будет $50,000 в кэш. Да, плюс что-то, что мы заработали из нашего 403B.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Мы зарабатываем сейчас около 1300 долларов в месяц. И я планирую работать еще 10-12 месяцев.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Вы посмотрели дома и что они стоят? Да, мы действительно в маленьком городе в севере Шоколада. И мы чувствуем, что мы можем получить более than adequate home for us for, you know, in the 140-150 range. Окей.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Ну, я не знал, какие были мои опции. Мог бы ты работать дольше?
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Я не подвергаюсь никакому давлению, чтобы отрабатывать или что-то подобное.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Сейчас, наверное, от 28 до 3000, что-то подобное.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Ладно, ну, я благодарю за вашу совет. Да, я надеюсь, это поможет.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Я живу с крипованной агрессией, как только я помню. Как я могу остановить это от постоянно появляться в разных сферах моей жизни?
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Я даже не могу функционировать, потому что я просто плачу. Моя мама уехала, когда мне было четыре. Я действительно чувствовала, что у меня нет семьи.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Он меня очень тревожил. Страшен, что я потерял Пауля. Страшен, что я делаю неправильное дело. Страшен, что я не достойна.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Как я могу избавиться от этой отношения? Потому что я чувствую, что она ведет шоу.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Привет, спасибо за приглашение. Конечно.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Я становлюсь 18 лет, и я действительно хочу узнать больше об инвестициях и о том, где начать.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Я работаю в школе как можно больше, у меня есть деньги в моем аккаунте для чеков, деньги в моем аккаунте для счетов, но я слышала много разных вариантов инвестирования в ИРА, инвестиции в хозяйство, все это, но я только становлюсь 18 лет, и я действительно хочу знать, что вы рекомендуете молодым людям, которые хотят начать инвестировать.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
Я буду учиться в этом году. И что ты делаешь для работы? Я работаю в маленьком сообществе в моем маленьком магазине, почти как в агрокультурном магазине.
The Ramsey Show
Don't Let Debt Happen To You—Face It Head-On
И сколько часов ты работаешь? Это обычно fluctuates week-to-week between 16 and 20 hours. Отлично, здорово. И ваш GPA стабильный? Да, 4.0. Вот он. Ты невероятный, Клэр.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Hi there. I'm 21. I just finished college last week. Congratulations.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Thank you. I'm a social service community worker.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
And I've been working while I was in school to try to put together kind of out of the box business idea. but I'm kind of working on a time limit with a vision disability. So I'm kind of wondering if I should go through financing and pay it off as quick as I can within five years, or if there's other avenues I can take to kind of fit a shorter timeline.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
So I have something called the retinal dystrophy, which continues to get worse over time. I have about 60% of my vision currently. But I have about less than 10 years before to the point where I won't be able to work anymore.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Correct. I would just need more help with the local organizations, which I do have connections to.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
So my local town doesn't have a youth drop-in center anymore, so youth don't have anywhere to get food if they don't have it. So I'm kind of looking to build a drop-in center, but also incorporate like animal assisted therapy because animals are my passion as well. So kind of combining the two for youth to be able to build enclosures and learn about those types of things.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
I was thinking nonprofit. The only reason being is my local town has a big pot for bursaries and grants compared to other towns. So I would be able to get monthly financing through them as well to help out with everything.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
I just have to have a nonprofit number and have the actual building and everything set up. And that's kind of what I was going to take the financing for. I currently have a building accessible to me. It just needs repairs and everything to get to the point where it could be usable for a business.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
The cost for that will be for upgrades and renovations $90,000.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
The building itself is being sold to me for $40,000 when it was appraised for the same in 2014.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Fair enough. Long time listener. And I appreciate you guys, all of you. My question in short is, is my mom responsible for my dad's credit card debt? Here's what's happened. He's been moved to assisted living about nine months ago. before that, um, he'd racked up credit card debt of about $18,000. Um, she's right now just paying off the interest on that monthly to get by.
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Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
He does have some VA assistance that helps with his assisted living, but she's 75. Um, she cannot afford to continue doing that. So I'm wondering it's an American express card. How aggressive are they? She let that go into default. She's not on. She's not on his. She didn't co-sign with him, but she did at one time. He got her a credit card, but she no longer has that as just kind of an accessory.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
No, no. She works a part-time job just three days a week to just bring in groceries and that sort of stuff. But other than that, their home is paid off, yes. But other than that, no. It just goes to insurance, property taxes, that sort of stuff. Sorry. Do you have any money? Uh, yeah, but not that kind of money.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Oh, they had just moved into it before he started his fall and it's worth probably 700,000.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
You feel like Amex would settle on that?
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Right. Will they be the ones to call us? Will they turn it over to creditors?
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Thank you so much for your advice. I will start saving. I appreciate you both.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Hey, Ramsey. Thank you guys for having me. I appreciate you both. I have a quick question for you here. I have a 1977 Corvette that I just purchased a couple weeks ago and feeling a little buyer's remorse about it. Um, so my, my question is based on my situation, if you think it would be best to sell the vehicle and put the money into my mortgage, um, or to keep it in and just enjoy the ride.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Uh, it, it is, um, it was actually from, uh, my, uh, Grandpa's friend, they put a lot of work into it, and it's worth about $13,000, but they sold it to me for that price. They didn't want profit on it. What do you make a year? I make about $150,000.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Okay. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Your voice has been in my head since I bought it, telling me I disrupted the seven baby steps.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
I do. It feels really good. My wife likes it. We went for a ride the other day, and, yeah, it's a step up from what we drive right now, which is compact SUVs. So it is freeing for us.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
I just had a quick question. Well, maybe a quick question, but if we should sell our house, our in-laws have offered for us to move in, so move in with them, save some money, pay off our consumer debt, and then save some money to buy a new house closer to my husband's work.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
They're moving him an hour away from our house.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
So we have about $60,000 in consumer debt. So that's going to be three of those are auto loans. One is $20,000, one is $10,000, and then a motorcycle that's $16,000. And then we have $10,500 in credit cards. How much can you get for all the cars? We could... Unfortunately, the Jeep is the $20,000 one. I think we could probably get a little bit less than what it's worth. Okay.
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Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
The motorcycle potentially, I mean, it's a 12 Harley-Davidson Road Glide, I think, or something like that. I think they're a little underwater on that. The one that I know we could sell in Breckenridge for sure.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
They live in Rockville, so pretty close.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
No, we owe $258,000. So I think we would come out, what we calculated with our realtors, maybe $23,000, $25,000 after closing costs.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
The question about the motorcycle is I think we're underwater on it. Not much.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Right. It would be a plus to take care of it.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Hi. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So I have a question. My husband and I have been living separately for almost a year now. He is active duty. He's what? Because he's active duty. Oh. Yeah, he's in the Navy.
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Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
So we, due to his orders, we decided to move me back home to be with my family. Well, he got injured shortly after moving us back here, and we'd been living separately, and he got, I guess, moved from those orders. So what we've really been struggling with is how to manage our budget separately. Even though our money is together.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
No, he's been on limited duty for a year. So he's been where he's at now, kind of basically waiting to see if it will heal or to see if he is inevitably going to get medically separated or retired.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
We're waiting to hear something by the end of May, and if they send him back out, then he'll be gone for another nine months. If he doesn't, then we will know in August.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
We do. We do. He is a little over a year old, a little over a year and a half.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Correct, and we're also managing the travel to and from, and his leave is being depleted, and he drives as much as he can, 15, 16 hours each way.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Hi, Dave. Hey, Rachel. I appreciate your time. I'm just looking for some advice on how to invest money that I'll be receiving.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
So right now we're looking at about $200,000 from an inherited IRA. Unfortunately, I lost both my parents recently. Oh, my goodness. What happened? Yeah, thank you. Well, my mom passed away from cancer and dad had a heart attack.
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Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. It's life though. Um, so, uh, obviously they're hard work, you know, they, they left over this IRA and then the home that, you know, we grew up in and, you know, obviously we're having to sell that now.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
So, um, it's about $200,000 and then the inherited IRA, um, and then splitting it with my sister, we're going to be about $200,000 each when we sell the house as well. So, um, my big thing is obviously the inherited IRA is going to have to get pulled out over time. So just my idea is, you know, pull it out and actually put all that money every year and just max out a Roth is my first idea.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Is that like the best idea to pull that out, pay taxes, and then put it straight into a Roth?
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Okay, so we have no consumer debt. We have $26,000 on a vehicle, and we rent. You owe $26,000 on a vehicle? Yes, and that will be the first thing. That is consumer debt.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Okay, and no credit cards, nothing like that.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
It'll roughly, I think it'll be a little North, but taxes fees.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Yes, we have, uh, $15,000 set aside. That's like our three to six month kind of backup plan or emergency fund.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Uh, 80, 80,000 wives of stay at home mom of two.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
In the area we're in, it's mostly – well, I mean, that's definitely on the lower end of what's in the area. But, yes, I mean, that should be really, really close to it.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Gotcha. Yeah, just from what I've seen.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
And if you just follow the baby steps, that's where it'll take you. Yeah. Yeah, they set us up. I'm not going to mess up.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Hi, Dave. I'm good. How are you doing?
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Good. So actually, I'm proud of myself today. I paid off one of the cards, $8,000. Yay. Nice. Thanks. So I just wanted to know, what do I do? Do I call and cancel or just, you know, let it be?
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Um, about another consumer, maybe 20 with the car and everything. Okay. Yeah. Um, and then I have the house. Okay. So baby step one.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Well, actually, I've been listening to you guys for years, but I just started maybe about three months ago.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Very good. I have a question. I am... 57 years old and I was been divorced for 20 years and raised two kids. They're now adults. And I am what you call an everyday millionaire and debt free.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Good job. Thank you. In a couple of years, I know I'm going to buy a new car. Okay. But new. Okay. And my goal is, I mean, I definitely am going to pay cash. And my boyfriend keeps telling me, that that's not a good financial decision.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
I know. Well, mathematically, he's saying if you take the money out of mutual funds.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Hey, Dave and Rachel, thanks for taking my call. Sure. I have just a real basic question for you that I need some help with. I'm wanting to find out if I'm investing too much to enjoy being debt-free. Okay. My wife and I, we're completely debt-free. We're maxing out both of our 401ks. We're both over 50, so we get the extra amount. And we're also maxing out our IRAs. What's your household income?
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Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
So I take home, well, our household income is about $100,000 each. Um, and then after investments and taxes, mine's about, uh, take home about 1500 every two weeks. And my, my wife is, um, about, uh, about the same, about 1700. What is it?
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Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Well, it's not me. It's not her. It's me. I'm wanting to eventually save up for a sports car, and I'm having a hard time getting enough money to do that with all of our money going into investments. Let's just have the normal money just to do extra things.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Yeah, mine's probably a little over 30%. My wife's is about 40%.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
I'm 15. My wife's a few years older than me.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
So my 401k, I've got 750. My wife's 401k, she's got 400 plus she'll get a teacher pension with, you know, the school districts taking out money out of her paycheck for that. And then our combined IRAs is about 550, including about 80,000 for an emergency fund.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Okay. Okay. All right. Any like, cause our, our investments are through our work. They're Ross. So I really enjoy.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Okay. Okay. And just one last question. With Mother's Day coming up, she really wants me to get a pedicure with her. Would you suggest that I do that? Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Hello. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? My wife and I, we are in very good shape financially. Less than a year ago, we inherited some money that tripled our net worth.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Do we help our kids out now, or do we just keep building wealth and then die in 20 years and give it to them?
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
I would agree. We committed to the boys to be debt-free from college. They are. And upon graduation, we'd give them each a car, which we did. Now, what I say about cars, I'm 60 and I've never bought a new car. They've all been used and they've all been salvage titles, so they're cheaps.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
They are. We haven't given them the oldest one money in four years. Now, granted, when he graduated college, he did move back home. But he has a Roth IRA, and he's contributing to it every month.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
The youngest one's just graduating from college, and we haven't given him any money in the last year either.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Hi, thank you for having me. My question is, my boyfriend doesn't want to work, and is that a deal-breaker? I'm a 40-year-old surgeon in my first job. Last year, I made about $280,000. This year, I'm expected to make close to $500,000 in the second year of my work.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
My boyfriend of one year is an actor, and the entire time I've known him for about a year, he's had two days of work as an actor, and he made less than $23,000 last year, so he didn't qualify for the Actors Union health insurance. But we want to continue our relationship. and keep moving forward and eventually get married and live together.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
But he says that because the house will be under my name as the main wage earner, he doesn't feel like he should pay for any part of the mortgage. He also can't. And I'm wondering if that's the deal breaker or if I should just suck it up and pay for the expenses because I can't.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
This is not how I had imagined being in a relationship.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
Um, again, this is now not how I had imagined being in a relationship with a man. I feel like me being the provider, because even though I can provide for myself, I thought our relationship or partnership would be a partnership where, um, I don't care if he makes as much money.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
I've asked him how he can get by without working, and he says he has some residuals coming in from prior work that he's done as an actor, but clearly it's not enough because he didn't... Clearly he sits on his butt.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
He's 51, and I'm not sure how much things are going to change.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
I would probably say, can't you find a better guy?
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
So basically, it doesn't matter how much money I make and whether we can support ourselves with my money.
The Ramsey Show
Budgeting Leads You out of Debt & Into Wealth
No. You're right. Thank you for being a mirror that I needed to see.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
So monetary value, et cetera, shouldn't matter. And so what we're kind of looking at is actually selling our current home and then using the money that we make to move to that land and then build on it. in which case we would live out the rest of our days there and put our money into it. And I think that that also should be taken into consideration.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Hi, I'm good, Dave. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. What's up? Hi. So, uh, my wife and I, um, so we are foster parents and we were taking care of a baby pretty much from a newborn until about eight months. Um, the mom did great. She, she got her kids back after she went through some struggles. Uh, long story short, Um, her case has been closed.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
She has all her hits back and she is struggling again. So with pretty much all aspects of life, but, uh, financially. She made some poor decisions with a car ended up breaking down and she had to junk it. And, uh, she contacted us just for some help financially. Um, we, we haven't helped her with money before, but obviously we love, you know, her son very much. We want her to succeed.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
We know that giving her money is not a long-term solution to anything. So we're really just trying to think about the best way to approach her, talk to her about what's going on, how her finances are, how she can get assistance, build a budget, etc. And she's a very, very...
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
uh shy closed off type person so we don't want to scare her off but obviously still wanting to help her we're just looking for the best way to maybe approach that well i mean all you can do that's reasonable is to coach her and the only way you can coach her is to the extent she'll accept the coaching right right and yeah and i i
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
I talked to her yesterday, and I asked her if she would be open to having a financial conversation. My wife and I are in good shape. We're very stable. And if she said she was open to having that conversation, she said she doesn't really understand debt. and just finances in general. And on top of that, I mean, she has three kids now.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
But he thinks that the boys should get the land split between them, and then whatever else inheritance we have left should be split equally between all four kids. And so I just kind of wanted your opinion on that.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
She's not working, has a baby who's now a year, and her other two kids are 9 and 10, and she just has absolutely no idea what to do. She can't get daycare for her baby because in order to get assistance through the state, she has to have two paychecks. Before they'll provide daycare assistance.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
So she is just going crazy and we feel like she's close to, you know, getting back to a point where she may make some poor decisions or drugs or something like that. And yeah.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Right. Right. Right. Yeah. And so she did move two hours away from us when, when the case was finally closed, I guess that was about a month ago. And we did, at that time, give her $200 to help moving expenses and get a truck to go down there. So I'm hoping that she doesn't think that that door is already open. She does.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
I haven't said that. I try to talk very nicely to him.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
So, I am a um, finance or I guess you say graduate finance student. I'm getting my MBA, my undergrad and finance. Cool. And so you know how all of them are.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
They teach you to go out and leverage and so on and so forth. Okay. The financial situation that I'm in is I'm completely debt free. I have a hundred thousand ish something dollars of, invested money in Morgan Stanley, and then I have some other stuff. There's some 401ks. I have $30,000 in on-hand cash, and I have an opportunity to buy a $50,000 house.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
And it's very sentimental to him.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Would you leverage some part of it, the renovations? Would you buy it off cash? Because my whole thought pattern is if I leave that money working and do parts of it, so like finance 25, cash 25, cash on the restoration, it allows some of my money to still be working.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
And so I agree with you on that partly. So my thing is, do you think that there's ever situations where that would come in? Because I know the situation you got in, right?
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Sorry. Then, like I said, I don't mind them getting the land. That's totally fine.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Um, it's only about 33 acres right now. Um, it was his grandmother's land. She sold it. And then his dad bought back this portion and was in one of its surrounding it. And so my husband wants to buy back the remainder as well.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
I don't know how much more there is that he would want to buy.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Um, we, he makes about 65 and I make about 55 right now, but we both increased pretty regularly.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
My wife is about to pass away and she hid debt from me.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
That I didn't know that she had pre to our getting married five years ago. Wow.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
She has cirrhosis of the liver and it's not working and she doesn't qualify for a transplant, and then it's starting to affect her other organs. And she's kind of going into full shutdown.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
She ran up dead and her name pre-targeting married back when she was in college. Uh, this is the second marriage for both of us. I had one daughter with her technically the stepdaughter, but I consider her my daughter totally. And, uh, was saving money for her to go to college. And, um, we were, I thought we were anyway, debt-free set for our house.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
I did not know about it. And how much debt? Her parents said she ran up $50,000, but I've only received a bill for $15,000.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
I don't know. I just received it the other day. It's actually from a bill collection agency. I don't have it in front of me. I apologize.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
No, it's only in her name. Her parents offered to pay for her to go to school as long as she showed them the grades. And evidently she took the money. was in school for a hot minute, and I didn't know this because she's hidden a bunch of stuff from me. and used the money to go travel and went to Europe and blew the money.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
I believe she did because her parents' income was too high for her to get FAFSA.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
The only thing with both our names on it is one car. Okay. Her credit from her previous marriage was she's had two bankruptcies that she never told me about because I had money issues in my first marriage and got that all paid off. And I got your book, The Total Money Makeover, and followed that.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
All right, Dave, you have some strong opinions.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Yeah, I think so. Okay, because you really prefer credit unions over big banks.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Well, and I think we have found one that is incredible, and that's Fairwinds. They are an incredible credit union that is really out with the heart to help the customer.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Yeah, absolutely. And I love that the things that we teach, they so line up with. And you're right, their customer service is unbelievable. Winston and I just signed up and we got an account. And I'm not kidding. It took less than five minutes. It was so user-friendly. Like the step-by-step approach was unbelievable. And then the next day my phone rings and it says Fairwinds on my phone.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
So I answered it. And talked to someone there and they said, yeah, they give calls to every new customer. And so again, they just really care about your experience. And I so, so appreciate that. Plus anything that you can do at a traditional branch, you can do with them at fairwinds.org or on their app. And you'll have free access to over 33,000 ATMs.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Yeah, you guys, it's so easy to join Fairwinds no matter where you live. So go to fairwinds.org slash Ramsey.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
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The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
So stop paying more and start shopping smarter at Aldi, where you'll save with the lowest prices of any national grocery store. Find a store near you today at aldi.us. That's A-L-D-I dot U-S.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Hi, Dave. Thank you so much for taking my call today.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
What's up? We just have a quick question. My husband and I are wondering if we are being selfish with a family financial decision that we're making. I'm going to preface it by saying that we are in total agreement on this, and he would be the one to have a conversation with his family. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
The overall situation is that he has many siblings, and we try to get together and go on vacations or just have family gatherings fairly often. However, his youngest sister does have a very different financial situation than the rest of us have, so we've covered her expenses any time we get together and particularly going on vacation. Usually not a big deal. It's just a few hundred extra bucks.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
However, there has kind of been an expectation to pay and there is conversation around going overseas to where they are from originally, where the family is from originally for a bigger trip in 2025. which would, if we covered her expenses, it would cost us thousands of dollars. That's just not in our budget. It's not something we can do.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
It would already be kind of at the top of our budget to begin with. But in kind of expressing this decision, not being able to cover her, her husband, and her five kids, it's really, ripping apart our family because we're being told we're being selfish by not helping her out.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
We've always kind of split things fairly equally, and so if we split it three ways, it would still be a few thousand dollars for all of us. Can I ask why?
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Yeah, that's a great question. So some of it, I would say it's lifestyle choices, just in the fact that they live in a small town, her husband doesn't have a big income, and then she's chosen to stay home and homeschool The kids have a bigger family.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
My daughter's 14, my stepson's 13, and then our twins are two.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Yeah, she does currently, yes.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Hey, thanks so much for taking my call. Appreciate it. Appreciate everything you do. Thank you. So basically, I'm calling about my mom. I'm very concerned for her. She has a bad track record for being financially smart. And recently, she just got into a relationship. It's only been about six months.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
And he has a lot of money, so she thinks that she wants to quit her job and live off of his money and then sell her house, and then that's her retirement. So I just don't really know how to give her advice, and she has asked me for advice.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
That's exactly my point as well. I'm telling her you need to get married before you decide to quit your job or decide to move in with him. But is there a date?
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
We have a name for that. I don't care. He's a sugar daddy.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
He wants to take care of her and he supports her in any decision she wants to do. If she doesn't want to work anymore, that's okay. She'll He'll pay for, you know, all the bills. And she wants to sell her car. She also has a she has twenty thousand on her car right now. Eight thousand in credit cards. You know, she's not good with her money.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
I told her I told her that one, she needs to get married if she wants to rely on his income.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Oh, yeah, for sure. It's hard for her to listen to me because I'm not married. Ah, okay. Another strand.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
They didn't have a good relationship.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
And I'm also just not in a position financially to help her. She's asked me in the past for money.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
He really likes the guy, so I haven't seen him, like, acting really. I asked if he was wise. Oh, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
My wife and I are in the process of buying a house. We were pre-approved, and our loan officer told us she doesn't advise 20% down payment. We're in North Carolina. She says the appreciation rate in North Carolina... I don't advise you using this loan officer. She's stupid. Yeah, I figured you would say something along those lines. I have a hard time understanding how that works out.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
And it didn't seem like she was.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
That's true. She didn't know.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Um, so overarching question is that my mom took out a bunch of loans in my name. She's making minimum payments, but I'm trying to kind of get this whole thing sorted out and out of my name. How would you suggest that I approach her, the situation as a whole?
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Um, It started back in 22, I want to say 21, 22. It was after my divorce. So I was kind of just starting caution to the wind and just saying yes to everything.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Yes. It all started because the landlord wanted to sell the house that I grew up in, that she's currently living in. And she offered us a pretty good deal. And my brother and I, we bought the house together for my mom. And now she's struggling to make the payments. And I'm just waiting for the day that I get a call that, hey, your payment's due.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
And my wife and I, we can't afford the payment ourselves. So I just don't know what to do.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
It's just that her credit was too poor to actually take the loan out herself.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Hi, Dave. Hi, Jay. Thanks for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
I would say $350,000 to $400,000. And what do you owe on it? I want to say $220,000, $250,000. I don't honestly know.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
My brother wants to keep the house and he's just happy to go along because he wants to keep it for sentimental value. I personally agree with your team, but it's just a house. We can get another one.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
I just wanted to get Dave's input on a situation. So my husband and I, we have four kids. We're a blended family. I have a daughter, he has a son, and then we have two boys together. His father died and he inherited some land from him. It's family land.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
My wife and I, we got married a month ago.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
I think he would fold it up because he's not big on Ramsey. I found you guys because I found your book, Breaking Free Broke.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
Yeah. I honestly think he would not go along with it because he's seeing it as an investment on his... Then he can buy you out.
The Ramsey Show
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest About Money
And so when we are talking about inheritance for our children, he wants, and understandably so, the land to go to be split between the three boys because he wants to keep it in his bloodline. And so I am fine with that. But where we disagree is on how to do inheritance for my daughter. He thinks the land should be not even taken into consideration when we do inheritance.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Yeah, I think you might be right.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
We're currently debt free, but I'm just trying to make sure that I'm making the right decision.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Well, we have the money from the insurance. Go ahead. We have about $5,000 in an emergency fund, but other than that, that's it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
There is $47,000 in my retirement account.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Hey, so I'm just calling because I've been watching your show last night. I would like some help maybe figuring out negotiation tactics with collectors. I've had a few things in question for a couple of years now that I've been paying on. But a repo car hit a collection company and he's just coming at me hard.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
He wants like five grand down to make it like a monthly pay, lower monthly payment I can afford or 800 bucks a month or a year and a half. And, you know, I'm the sole provider of a family of four. And so that kind of makes it difficult.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
About 92,000 upwards. I make footage, so really just kind of what the construction... Why did you get behind? So I found a new job. Construction fell behind where I was at and just kind of lost some hours and... You know, stuff like that. I can make excuses all day for really just being irresponsible with my money.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Last year we made $180,000.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
I have some, like, checking accounts that I overdrew going into collections, and some, like, Xfinity bills and insurance bills, just stuff like that. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
We have not been debt-free since 2019.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Yeah, I think we can come to an agreement. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
No, we haven't had a mortgage since 2019. Got it. We are just recently debt-free. In anticipation of knowing we're fixing to have a substantial mortgage, when I got the money from the insurance, we paid off some debts that we had in order to free up some monthly income.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Just the electrical bill, but I have a plan to get that caught up.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
My mortgage is $1,655. Is it current? Yes. I got a trial repayment plan, so I paid three months to get caught up and put the ink on the back end.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
He's also threatening to sue me. Oh, just tell him to have at it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
A collection company. Yeah, they bought the collection. Like the original car company that I was buying the car from, they told me they would come to a settlement with me right after they auctioned the car. But literally right off the bat, they just sold the thing to the auction.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
They sold it to the collection company.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
We had two cars and I owed on a mobile home that was my parents. So in 2019, my dad gave us this unfinished house and we bought my parents a single wide mobile home because that's what they wanted.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Yes, sir. I can't remember.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
My mother is. My dad actually passed away the same week my house burned down.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Yes. I recently downloaded every dollar and I've already started working on that.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
What about your husband? No, he's, he's with me a thousand percent. We've been married almost 20 years, so we've kind of grown up together. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Jamie? We are currently living in a rental house because it's going to take roughly a year before our house is rebuilt.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
I'm doing fine. I'm glad I'm getting some advice on this subject that we are discussing. Sad to be in two, but it happened. Uh, 2016 went through the university program and in 2017, we became debt free and was able to purchase our mobile home debt free completely. And, uh, but since then we have obtained three major personal loans and 13 credit cards, which has put us into a hole of $46,000.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Um, yesterday we did talk to a loan officer that has, um, helped us, um, um, got us into, we didn't pay for it. We haven't bought it yet, but we were able to obtain a loan, um, of $29,000 that will put us into a debt relief loan. And, um, that's why I'm calling and wanting to get advice about it. And, uh, granted, um, what concerns me is that we.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Every loan and credit card, we have had 100% in our paying the bills on time. I don't know how we've done it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Like paying off the credit cards to pay off the credit cards to pay off the credit cards.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
We were. Then why did you even have a credit card? Because of certain emergencies that came up.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
We did, but then we had medical bills and things like that. It came up, and we... We went to the university, but we didn't have... What's your household income, honey? Well, right now, I make $1,600 a month. My husband makes $1,500 a month, and that's only Social Security, and that's all our income.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
I am 69. My husband is 71. I just turned 72, excuse me.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Actually, we're in Hennet, Los Angeles, but we go there a lot to see my grandkids that they live. So we're constantly traveling.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Through gas. I mean, we paid... My husband is like a handyman for a friend of ours, and my husband's constantly getting paid to do it. He does odd jobs, so that's kind of what we do, what he does. So he does get paid a little bit every month, which isn't a lot, but it does help with a lot of our bills, which is not a lot of bills, but we do help them.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
We paid $70,000 for the mobile home at the time.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
A $29,000 loan. Okay. Do they want the trailer as collateral?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
We've already decided that as well.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Dave, Jay, thank you for taking my call. Real quick, I was recently listening to your show on the way to a networking event at College of the Ozarks. And on the walk in from the parking lot, I was telling my coworker all about your show. And lo and behold, I walk inside and there's three giant Dave Ramsey posters up on the wall. And I said, hey, that's the guy. Wow.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
So I pretty much just start the debt snowball over.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
So now he's a he's a listener, too. Wow. But I spoke there one time a few years back. That's a wonderful place. Yes, it is. My question is, my wife and I recently got out of debt, everything but the house, and I'm wondering if an employee stock purchasing program is a good vehicle to fund things like emergency fund and sinking funds. No.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Okay, so even if you sell it right after it's purchased, the math doesn't work out?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Hey, Dave. I am blessed. How are you?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Hey, so long story short, we live next door to my in-laws. I have a handicapped brother-in-law that will end up living with my husband and I after his parents are unable to take care of him. And we need a bigger house. Because of our situation, we can't move too far away, but a house across the street is available, and we can afford it. But my question is, should we do it?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Am I making a decision that's from the heart, or is it logical? Does that make sense?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Well, because we already have two kids, and if we end up having to – his parents are in their late 60s, early 70s, And if we need to take my brother-in-law in, we'll need a bigger house.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Well, my husband's parents' parents died in their 70s, early 70s. We're just trying to be prepared. Are these people sick?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
No. No, not that we know of.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Every extra opinion we have to pay down.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Hi, folks. I'm great. Thank you. Thank you guys for taking my call. How are you guys?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Amen. So the question I have for you is my husband and I are 33 and we are possibly considering buying our first home. We would like to put an offer in, but we have the possibility of borrowing $110,000 from my in-laws in order to not touch our last nest egg, which would be a Bitcoin that hopefully will increase in value in the next few years. We can use that Bitcoin, but
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
But we are wondering whether or not it would be wise and we would like your advice.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Well, not brand new to Dave Ramsey. I know that you're not a big Bitcoin. I've been listening to you on and off my whole life since, you know, my mother.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
This would be, like, the last thing. Like, we have our assets and, like, our savings in mostly other things, but, like, this Bitcoin is, like, the last thing. We're like, oh, we could keep it because it's speculation.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Yeah, and our real savings, which would be cashing out most of our gold and silver, and that's mostly where our money is, is $250,000. Do you have $250,000 in gold and silver? Yes, we do.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Yes, and then the Bitcoin is just like $100,000, and that's why... So you could cash all this in at like $300,000 towards the property.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
You know, we're we're not we're newer to mutual funds, but and we know we listen to the Ram show, but we haven't. We mostly are like the tactile like gold and silver.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Nothing. Nothing spooks us. I just don't think that like my husband's administrator, I don't think he's just like gone to the point where he's like, OK, let's sit down and like actually, you know, like invest in them and buy them because we've just.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Hi, Dave. Thank you for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
What's up? I've been a big Ramsey fan since I was young. My dad taught me to be smart with my money and to listen to what you had to say. Well, thank you. My husband and I, our house burned in January, and it was a total loss, the structure and all the content. And it was paid for, but it was severely underinsured.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Hi, Dave. I'm good. Thanks for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
I own and operate a small construction business. My wife is a stay-at-home mama, and we got two kids. And got some bad treads going on, I think, the past couple years. I've acquired a pretty serious amount of debt, and we ate through all our savings. Wow, you're not making money? Not enough, I guess. What are you spending it on? I have quite a bit of
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Well, last year I had quite a bit of business expenses that were, you know, fairly irresponsible and kind of, you know, drove me down. And also the business doesn't have a real clear plan at this point, which I think is hurting my productivity a lot. So I don't, you know, my hours aren't up there.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Just general remodel construction. I do a lot of, I do some of my own jobs. And what did you buy? Just tools? Yeah, tools, and I bought a truck for the business. I already had one, but I upgraded it, and that was a pretty big expense.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
It's a Chevy Silverado 2500. Brand new? No, it's a 20.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Well, I bought an investment property last year. Sell it. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
I have one question with that investment property. I have a renter in there that I have a lease signed. Should I wait until that lease is up next January?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
I owe $110. It's worth $150. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Yeah. Uh, and that, you know, on that note, do you, do you think I should reach, you know, start some scratch with my business, try to specialize in something to get my hours up? Or do you think I should kind of, take a hit to my pride and just get a full-time job and scale the business back to like a part-time.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Hi, Dave. I feel really grateful to get to speak to you today. I really look up and admire you.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Um, so I've recently hit a really hard time. Um, I unfortunately have like no income coming in. Um, and I am a single homeowner. Um, you know, and I have a lot of bills that I'm responsible for and I just kind of feel at a loss. Um, I don't really know what to do and I have been praying a lot and, um,
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
I don't know, something in my gut just told me to talk to you and that you might be able to give me some good advice on how to navigate moving forward.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
So a few months ago, my coworker on the clock got us into a car accident, and my doctors think that that has triggered some type of, like, autoimmune or, like, autoinflammatory disease. So I'm seeing a specialist in a little while, but I've been having really horrible pain, like...
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
And so now we're in a situation where we haven't had a mortgage since 2019, but we only got $230,000 from the insurance, and it's going to cost us roughly $525,000 to build a similar house. And that's just kind of scary for me. We've never had a mortgage that large. I don't think... I mean, I know that we can afford it. We have a nice income.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
to the point where I struggle with just ordinary everyday tasks and also the medications I take, um, you know, I can't drive on them.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
I definitely could do a work from home. I just am unable to find anything. Um, Also, the things that I can find, it's just it's not really even enough to cover my bills.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
So that's kind of a long story. Before I was actually in management, I did like HVAC. So I was an operations manager. Unfortunately, the owner was very unprofessional and inappropriate. So I had to leave the company. And then I had another internship. with sexual harassment. So they terminated me. I did file for unemployment and I did win.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
And then I actually got a blessing to do some political initiatives in the swing states last year. Once that ended in November and I came back home, I was just kind of doing side gigs like DoorDash just to kind of make ends meet until I could find something. And then I took the first job that I could find, which was in housekeeping.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
And then that's when I got into the accident and I've been out of work since.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
or am i right um i mean you're you're kind of right um you know just right now like the job market kind of sucks um you know i do what's the name of that company that just hired you right now that they work from home there's two or three of them yeah there's several of them so you don't know that george is always quoting it and i don't know the name of it i don't know the name of his but there's a lot out there i mean there's several uh
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
So right now it's $889, but that's going to go back down in October. So basically my escrow, there wasn't enough because the taxes went up.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
How much other debt do you have? I think about like $13,000.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
Are you behind? Not yet, but I'm very close to it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Throw Away Your Long-Term Security for Quick Fixes
So I did speak with a pastor during the summer last year.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Man, it's embarrassing when you're always checking your account before you swipe for your groceries at the grocery store because you want to make sure there's enough money there. We're going to help you with that. The fact is people are feeling tightness with their money. They're not sure where to go.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
$160,000 a year. Okay, that's good.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I don't have an exact budget because everything's been combined, but I've been trying to crunch numbers and thinking I wouldn't want to mortgage more than $2,000 a month, including insurance, HOA, anything like that. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
yeah just a rule of thumb for you to keep in mind we would say no more than 25% of your take home pay should be your mortgage and that's including HOA that's including taxes and insurance so if 2k is 25% or less then you're good something to keep in mind here have you priced it out in the Denver area so if you're spending 650 yeah you're getting like a decent sized townhouse is that right
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Um, I'm just outside of Denver and, uh, right now the only three bedroom townhouse is 900,000 would be the cheapest I could afford. 900,000 to a million is what I'd probably be looking at for property.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Have you considered going further out? Like I have friends that are, you know, 30, 25 to 30 minutes from the Denver area, family of four, and they're looking at things in the six to $700,000 range. And I've been to their house and it's fine. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Where I am, I'm between mountain passes, and I wouldn't want my kids to have to drive mountain passes in the winter to get to school.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I hear what you're saying. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Uh, so there, there is a balance for me on that cost.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Two things to keep in mind here. And I'll, I'll speak on the home side. Can you speak on the college side? We have to, we have to have very clean and clear expectations and very realistic expectations because the money that's going to come from the sale is sounds like a lot, but it's not a lot. And I think you're starting to feel that.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And the truth is people have tried to have goals in the past with their money and another year passes and they're still in debt or they still don't have that savings. So we're going to help you. It's a free live stream event. We're going to go over exactly what it's going to take for you to get on a budget, start paying off debt, start building up savings. We'll touch briefly on investing.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And so expectations on college, are they the types of kids that will go to college? You've got some money saved.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And that's another good point. It's just, you know, you've got kids that will be coming home, but that won't be a part of the home full time. And that's going to weigh into what you purchase when it comes to this home.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
okay today's question comes from jared in florida he says my wife and i are trying to get our debt under control we aren't drowning by any means but we have been using credit cards to build our credit we have some credit cards that are zero percent interest for a certain amount of time since these have a higher balance and are at the bottom of our snowball list they would revert to full interest by the time we started aggressively paying them
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
would you suggest paying the remainder of the 0% interest off ahead of the other debts to keep them from jumping to 24 to 26% interest? Oh, okay. That's a lot of percentages. What I think you're getting at is moving the debts out of order to avoid paying interest towards the end of your snowball, I might add. And no, I wouldn't.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
All of that, you can sign up right now at ramseysolutions.com slash live stream. And Ken.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I would keep them in order because the truth is you're going to be going so fast by then. And the amount that you're going to be throwing at the debt is going to happen so quickly. My guess is the math on this is going to be negligible because it's probably going to be the difference of a couple of months that this is going to take place. And I would use this as fuel.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Like when I know, Ken, if they come on the weather report and say that a snowstorm is coming, what do you do?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah, you prepare is what I'm getting at.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
No, that's fine. What you're saying is you prep. You know it's coming, so you do what you have to do to be prepared for it. And it's the same thing. When you know that this interest is going to hit, you will have prepared for it. You will have thought, okay. And if anything else, you might have tried to avoid it by going faster earlier so that you don't get to that point.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
If you sign up, you're going to be registered to automatically be in our drawing to win $4,000 cash. We're doing five different giveaways.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So I think that this can be used as fuel to pay off the other debts faster.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Hey, um, so I guess to kind of jump into it, I'll give you guys my situation and where I'm at and everything with my life. Um, I'm 22 years old. I am engaged with a one year old. Um, we had our little one not too long ago and, um, Ever since we found out about her, I've been on a debt-free journey.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I had about $15,000 in debt, which had a mix of, it was a home equity loan kind of thing, and then some credit cards and stuff like that. I got all that paid off in about eight months. Um, I am a full time electrician making about $55,000 a year. And then I also do a lot of side work doing electrical stuff and handyman things on the side.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Uh, now that my daughter, she's getting up to the age of where she's kind of starting to realize like, Oh, dad's around, dad's not around. I've been really wanting to spend more time with her. I have my three to six months emergency fund and fully debt free. And we're getting married in September. Um, I, we are cash flowing the whole wedding. We pretty much have everything accounted for.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
We have our tax returns going to be the last little bit about of our money that's coming back to pay for the rest of the wedding. But my main question is, is I don't know if I want to keep on doing these side jobs. Like, I mean, I cut back a little bit. I was getting more calls from people the more I did. on a daily basis to do stuff on the weekends and I was getting burnt out.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So I cut back a little, but I'm wondering if I should cut back even more now rather than only do a couple of months because I'm only being able to afford like around 6% of my income to invest in retirement. And I feel like I should be doing more even though I'm 22, but I mean, I got a good growth rate for my income.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I mean, that's going to almost double in the next two years once I get past my journeyman's test. So I guess that's where you guys are at for that.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Well, I mean, I could, I can afford it. It's just more, I guess. So for say the comfortability of everything, like I'm thinking like I have, I have all this time ahead of me. I'm like looking at how much I'm investing now. If I continue investing what I have now, I'll have over $3 million by the time I retire, which is going to be more to live off of.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
But I'm wondering like if I kind of hold back so that way we don't have to give up like all of our lifestyles so I can do more fun things with the little one on the weekends and stuff like that. And just do this 6% for, the next two years, and then once I pass my test, and that's a $10 an hour bump, and then from there I can keep my same lifestyle and then invest that full 15%.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
don't get jade started on her investment calculator that's all i would say well he's already run it and three million is great listen i'm smiling because you're 22 you have so much life to live and i love that you have a path for your income to go up and it will uh right now my biggest the questions formulating in my mind uh as you were talking are more so along you said that you make 55 000 a year which is really good um
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
But that's including side hustles. So my first question is, well, if you drop the side hustles, what will you be making a year? And I don't like that number only because it's already lower than the median in the United States. And I kind of want you at least above the median. The median or above is what I would love for you. The next question I had was...
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
The wife, you know, when you guys get married here coming up, you know, what's the plan? Is she going to have income? Because that definitely factors into this right now. It will factor into as soon as you get married. So tell us about that.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah, so 55,000, that's my standard electrician job. And then on top of that, I have side hustles, which this year has been better this year than the last two I've been picked up. I've picked up a lot more. I've probably, this entire 2024, I probably made around 15,000 in side hustles throughout the year. 15,000, okay. Yep.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And then, um, once she, once we get married, we have one little one right now and she, my fiance, she's working, uh, part-time doing, uh, working with my mom at our, at my mom's home daycare. So doing that, we get free childcare and then she also makes an income of around 20,000 a year.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
But once we have this second kid, my mom can't afford to pay for, have two kids there because it factors into her numbers. So, um, the plan is to have, um, Uh, my wife go, uh, be a stay at home mom at that point. And then I will just be the main breadwinner at the time.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And for anybody who was there on the last event, some of you are like, oh, are you doing an every dollar demo? I am going to go over every dollar, but it's a very small piece of what we're doing. So still tune in. Even if you've seen me do an every dollar demo, I'm going to do that like literally in five minutes. So tune in because we're talking about a lot.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And then she would do like being like a sob and stuff for the daycare here and there when my grandparents could watch the kids and stuff like that. So I mean, her income may be like 10,000 a year after that.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Those are the numbers you need to run and run them clearly. And both you and your wife have to decide this is the life we've agreed on. John Deloney and I have talked about this many times that sometimes what you're signing up for is the used Camry lifestyle. And if you decide, hey, I don't want to do these side hustles. My wife's going to stay home. That is 100% your prerogative.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
But just know that making $55,000 a year, that is going to mean you're on a used Camry lifestyle. And there's nothing wrong with that. Just know, I want you investing at least 15% off of your base income so that you're used to putting away $687 every single month, whether you side hustle or not.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And if that's a problem, check out where your mortgage or rent payment lies, because if it's tight, that's likely why.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And Rachel Cruz and George Campbell are going to join us.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
You watched the inauguration?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Nice. I did a media hit this morning about the whole tariffs.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And the reason is— On all imports, regardless—
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I was going to say, explain the pros and cons.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Well, in the short term- Ever. Listen, I think I'm with you. What did you say? Well, on the media hit, I was talking about how, obviously, to your point, if you... put a tariff on the importer that that price is going to pass along to the consumer.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Do you have something planned?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And if we really look at what we're importing, the main ones that are affecting, you know, everyday people in the United States, crude oil, I mean, you're going to see oil prices go up. You're going to see gas go up like number one. And then even, you know, things like food, you know, we import things from other countries because we want avocados year round. You know what I'm saying?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Like we have gotten used to certain comforts here in the United States that we'll definitely feel that we'll feel it on coffee and, you know, certain fruits and vegetables and I don't know, chocolate, that sort of thing. But,
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
No, I don't. I was wondering that, well, my problem, they told me to kind of get to my question. I'm $115,000 in medical debt as of right now, and I'm 19 years old.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I'm asking you, is there a short-term benefit, long-term gain thing here where we say, yeah, we might feel it in the short term, but long-term, would we begin to see it play out in the way of, I don't know, what's the end game here? More business being done internally?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah. So no one wants to go back to that again. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
No, I think it's nice to hear. I mean, I felt like that was pretty... You know who needs less money?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Ken Coleman, the people's president.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Three months ago, I got into a car crash at about 60 miles an hour, broke both my legs, and had to spend a week or two in the hospital, and I've been out of work for the last three months.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah, I agree with you. I do think that regardless of what the policies are, if you do the things that we teach, like I always talk about five pillars of personal finance, right?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
It's budgeting, like the idea you get out of debt, you stay out of debt. It's carrying the proper insurances, it's investing for the future, and it's prioritizing generosity. If you're doing those five things, you're winning, and obviously you can use the baby steps to do that. But the truth is like certain things can impact us in a moment in a positive or negative way.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Like I would never sit here and say like, this doesn't really matter. It doesn't affect you. Sure it does. What do you think about the idea that like people who work on tips and things like that, that that might not be taxed?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Oh yeah, I do remember him.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
He should get to keep that.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Plus, they already got their cut when I earned the money or when Sam earned the money.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And now just because I'm going like this, you get to tax it again?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
It is. I feel like a lot of people do feel that way.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I'm just now able to kind of waddle around my house like a penguin, but... I'm walking still not that great right now. And the doctors are kind of telling me that I'm not going to be able to go back to construction for the next year or two, at least.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So 2024, like many, it sent my family in complete financial turmoil because one thing happened after another. And really a lot to do. My husband and I, we were on the same page with things, but like the execution, it just doesn't happen. And we're about to crash, and I just need help trying to get out of it.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So is there a settlement coming out of this? I mean, were you at fault or are you going to get paid off of this?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So... Just to give context, I had my second child last January. I was on maternity leave until May. My daughter, my oldest daughter, had a couple of seizures. She's only two. She had a couple of seizures in April. So unfortunately, that kind of opened the floodgate of a lot of issues that we're still dealing with now.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And with that, you know, the medical bills and all that stuff, that's besides the problem. But anyway, I got back from maternity leave and I got let go as soon as I got back.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah. So then I went six months without a job, which it was kind of okay because with finding out about my daughter's issue, my baby also has the same problem. So the only good thing is we know about it now. Now we're just trying to deal with things. So throughout that six months where I didn't have a job, Our savings is empty. I had to dip completely into my Roth IRA. I still have my regular IRA.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I think I was at fault, if I believe correctly, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I didn't have to touch it. I had to totally empty my Roth. And now the good news is I have a job. I start a new job next week. But the problem, my husband is really heavy.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
We talk about the money and he says one thing to me, but really, if there's an issue, he just covers it up and tries to do all the gig work and the ride shares and stuff and to try to just fix it because he doesn't want to tell me because he knows I'm so overwhelmed. I'm just going to get upset.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Oh, that's tough, my man. That's real tough.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So now that I'm about to go back to work and everything's going to change and I'm not here and I can't just settle up everything and try my best to fix. start over again. I'm just afraid that everything's going to blow up in my face even more than it already has.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah. Take a deep breath. I need to take a deep breath after hearing that because I mean, you're transferring that feeling. We feel it. My chest got tight just listening to you. That's right. The good news. Let's start with the good news. The good news is. You've got a job. Yes. The good news is you at least have the information surrounding what's going on with these kids' health, okay?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And Michael, sorry for interrupting.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So it's good to know so you can know what you can do next. Let's talk about... what's happened since you've emptied out the Roth. What's done is done. You can't go back. It's spilled milk. You know, you kind of have to just move on from that. You've emptied out your emergency fund. Good news is that's what the emergency fund is there for. It's there for when it rains and pours. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So let's look at things as they are now and give me a sense of what, what it is that you're trying to accomplish. Like if I said to you, Alyssa, what's next on your, what's most important on your things to do right now? Give me the top three.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Well, my, my question was, is that at 19, I've kind of been given two options of how to handle the $115,000 of debt that I'm in. And it's to either, you know, counter them and say that I'm not going to pay it and agree on a lower settlement of, you know, 60 to 80,000 or whatever.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Our credit cards are crumbling. They're they're they're crippling. They're completely crippling. Our cars paid off. We rent. So, you know, the rent, the rent's getting paid. The credit cards are getting paid, but barely. And then a lot of the issue really kind of stemmed from my we had. There's so many credit cards. I had a lot going into them. We've been married for eight years.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I had a lot going into the marriage. And then just time goes by. Things get worse.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
How much credit card debt do you have? Between the two of us, I think it's around 80. OK, 80,000. But you said your cars are paid off, which is good. What other debt do you have? Student loans. I think between the two of us, we have 130 in student loans. Okay. Are you making active payments or is it a super low payment right now? He's making payments. I'm not making payments right now. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Do you know how much he's spending on payments every month? $340, I think. It's not a lot. He's really paying minimally. Okay. Tell me what you guys are bringing in. And I know, let's say it like this. What's at your disposal income-wise every month? Like, what are you bringing in?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And I don't know what's going on with your husband, but if you feel like you can include that or can't include that in this equation.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
No, no, no, no, no. No, it's fine. He brings home, I think it's like take home, I think it's 15 every two weeks. Okay, so $3,000 a month. And then the new job I just got, it's a little bit, it's less. So I want to say probably like $2,400 a month.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
No, he's not on air. It's complicated. He works for a company where they like forecast for like cruising cargo ships and stuff like that. So it's kind of like private type of thing.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And how much is your rent? How much are you guys paying in rent every month? We're only paying $16.50 for a small house. Okay. $16.50 you said only, but the truth is it's only 25%. It's over 25% of your take home. So you probably are feeling it. It's not much over, but it's 350 over. So you're feeling that a little bit.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
OK, what's on fire here is I think you're just I think you've experienced so much in a very little bit of time and it's still like reverberating in your day to day life. But a lot of it is it feels like based on what you've said, it feels like a lot of it is kind of started to settle. Is that fair enough? Like all this craziness happened and now the ash is settling and we're going, okay.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And you're kind of like surveying, like, where do we go next? You've got the job. You guys are making 5,400 a month, which is not, you know, it's not a bad place to start. I think that's, that's good. You've got $80,000 in debt and then 130 in student loan debt. So that's probably what you're feeling right now, but it's not because of the payment because you're not paying on all of that.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
or to just not pay it and let it really you know hit my credit score and let the credit score drop and i don't know which of those choices to go with at this point because i've never had to use my credit and i don't think i will in the next seven years well again i don't want to be straddled with that debt tell me about were you on it did you not have medical insurance at the time tell me more about that because what i'm thinking no medical insurance no ma'am do you live at home
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So it's just that idea of the debt resting on your shoulders. So, Let's break it into small pieces because I think right now that's what you need to do. If I were you, it's the debt snowball on these credit cards. Are they current? Are they in collections? Tell us more.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
They're all current. The big problem was my husband had them on auto pay and he doesn't check them. So I guess there was a month where it didn't go through. And then it does that thing where it's not getting a payment. So it adds and adds and adds. He wasn't paying attention.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
What you can do is it tends sometimes in relationships, there's people that are better at handling money than others. Everybody needs to be involved, but it might be for you to be the one that actually monitors that and pushes play on it. And it sounds like it's going to be that. I want you to be on top of this and try to drag your husband in to get on top of this as well.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
But Ken Coleman, they probably need to go into some counseling.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Learn more at ramseysolutions.com slash smartvestor.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Hi, guys. Thanks so much for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah. So to give you some context, me and my husband just got married last May. And since then, we've been able to pay off his $15,000 car loan. We purchased a house and saved up a six-month emergency fund. Nice. Yeah. So my question is, we bought the house knowing it would need a kitchen renovation. I thought I could blast
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
kitchen but it's it's literally falling apart what's going on in the kitchen yeah well she says falling apart so hayley talk to us paint us a picture of this kitchen yeah so our house is 100 years old and um yeah it's it's awesome but the kitchen probably is from like the 1940s 50s i the flooring i can context. The floor is crumbling. The sink is caving into the counters.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I was living on my own in a travel trailer because, you know, it's the cheapest thing you can live in as a young teenager. But now I am. My awesome mother is taking care of me while I'm recovering.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And this is more of a luxury, I guess you could put this. But it doesn't have a dishwasher. The electrical is outdated. It's actually not up to code.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah, so it's functional, but yeah, it definitely needs to be updated, and we knew that. So we're wondering if we should, one, suck it up, save another year to cash flow the renovation, two, take from our emergency fund, or three, get a renovation loan with a 0% financing. No, no, no. You knew better.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah, we have probably, like outside of our emergency fund, about $8,000. That's awesome.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Um, so the truth is, if you don't pay these, they would roll into collections and some collections agency would end up buying them for pennies on the dollar. And the truth is when things go into collection, yeah, you, you're more likely to be able to strike some sort of deal and say, okay, I can pay you if it's 115,000, I can pay you 40,000 or I can pay you 60,000.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Um, we, we, we've done some quotes before. Unfortunately, the, the floor that I've thought the same thing, uh, the floor has to unfortunately be like the very last. It has to be. That's what I was thinking. Oh, is that right? Yeah. All right. Nevermind. Especially if you're changing the footprint.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
That would probably be the most expensive part is like the cab, you know, getting new cabinets and, you know.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Do you have to get new cabinets or can you reface the old ones? That's what I'm doing.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
We have to get new cabinets because they're not. Basically, we have to redo the electrical and the sink is taking up all of the counter space because we don't have a dishwasher. It's like a really old. So you're changing.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
You're changing everything.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah, it basically, I mean, to an extent, it kind of has to be gutted.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Listen, the thing I'm most scared about is the electrical because I'm like, how are you only going to, I mean, I'm not an electrician, but if you tell me the electricity is 100 years old or at the very least from the 40s, how can you only fix it in the kitchen and not fix it in the rest of the house? Like, I'm afraid.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I can't imagine opening a 100-year wall and it only being, that there being no problems. So part of me is like...
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Does my husband know electrical? No, any of the work.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I think you need to come up with this money, but I think every plan needs to have a contingency. And in this case, I would be afraid for you to start knocking walls with only $20,000. I don't know how you're doing it on $20,000. Unless this thing is a teeny tiny space, I don't know how you're doing it either. I want you to treat this like...
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I want you to treat this home budget, this home reno budget as though, I don't know, somebody prominent has hired you to do their, but like you can't play around with this.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah, man. Like you need to go through detail and really make sure you know your numbers on this. Really make sure you've priced things out and gotten accurate because you can't, I've lived in a hundred year old house. You can't mess around. You can't mess around with it. And $20,000 feels light. I'm not going to lie. Try to get that number up.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah, you guys are saving every penny. I'd love for you to have like $30,000 to $40,000 to start this. Just in case. This is the type of thing you open up the wall and then you find out there's mold everywhere. Or you open up the wall and you find out there's asbestos. Like, I'm only going off of what I saw on HGTV.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
No, but I've seen enough of these home shows.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Um, and it's usually a cash deal. I don't like that for you because A, like you said, you're tanking your credit and it's kind of, it just feels like a hopeless thing. What I would do is I would start with, okay, is there any type of payment plan I can be on?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
But you knew that getting into it.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
As long as it rhymes. Come on, Ken.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
that's right ken you're exactly right we find it time and time again when people walk the baby steps when we say hey you're you now are cutting up credit cards and you have a thousand dollar emergency fund right it causes you to think differently necessity is a mother of invention and you start to go okay what can i do to make this work you start looking for other options because we know ken that when people utilize debt a you don't have to be creative anymore no you can just spend and spend and you tend to spend more slap some plastic on it and that doesn't fix anything yeah
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And there's probably some sort of, I don't want to say the term forbearance, but you know, when you're going through a hard time and they kind of give you a break there until you can start working again. Because the truth is you're not able to work at this point and we have to figure out what that means for you next, right? Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Hey guys, what's up? It's Jade. Look, let's be real. With everything that's been going on, staying on track with your money gets tough. Between bills, trying to pay off debt, saving money, honestly, it's a lot. And I've been there. That's why I'm excited to tell you that Dave Ramsey and I are hosting a free live stream on January 23rd to help you take control of your money in 2025.
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Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Plus, Rachel Cruz and George Campbell are also going to join us for a live Q&A where you can finally get your money questions answered on the spot. And check this out. You could win $4,000 in cash. It's a giveaway. Imagine what you could do with all that money. All you've got to do to enter the giveaway is to sign up for the live stream. That's it.
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Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So go to ramseysolutions.com slash live stream and sign up today.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yes, ma'am. I'm hoping to be able, I kind of, through my dad, my dad's an oil field man, and there was a plan for me to move out to the oil field and get kind of a desk job out there that would pay better than construction and allow me to work while sitting down. And that was the plan moving forward if I was going to be paying this off.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Click the link in the show notes.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Hey guys, thanks so much for having me on the show.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I think I'm young. Thank you, Jade. I'm 34. Hey, come on now.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Oh, okay. Nice. That's awesome.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
It happened this fall, and then there are some ups and downs in there, certainly with the market.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Okay, so in investments, so that's regular IRAs, Roth IRAs, 401Ks. Our HSA, we have $430,000. And our 529 for our four children, we have $42,000. We have about $480,000 in equity in our home, which will be paid off here soon. And about $68,000 in cash. Nice.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
25 minutes yeah yeah yeah okay gotcha i love this because a lot of people think a network like when people say oh i'm a millionaire or this person has a million dollar net worth alissa they think it's they they earned a million dollars or they made a million dollars in a year and people forget that your home equity is part of that right like for you it's cash savings you're 529 your retirement i just love this picture it is it makes it feel so yeah accomplishable
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
2024, we topped out at about $300,000. Very nice. Where did you start? We were married in 2013, and we started around $125,000.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
What do you guys do? Yeah. My husband's a high school teacher slash some administrative duties, and I am a PA, a physician assistant. Wow.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Oh, my goodness. My undergrad, I was probably pretty good, like a 3.7. And then in grad school, closer to like a 3.0, just tough. Yeah, good for you. My husband probably did better than me. He was probably closer to like a 4.0 in his education.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
It wasn't planned either way, but that was kind of my only way in my mind of being able to think that I could pay this off.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
How much did like having a plan for your money, having a budget for your money, how much do you feel like that played into you guys being able to accomplish this?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
It was everything, Jade. Honestly, I... I will go back and say like we got, someone gave us the total money makeover. We got married and I like looked at the book and said like, oh, this is not us. I was like one of those classic people who didn't think like school debt was real debt. I was just like, oh, that's good debt.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And then I picked it up a few years later and that's when everything changed. Just being intentional because we were never bad with money. We were never like super reckless or anything, but we were just super intentional. And now for the last probably five years, we have our every dollar budget that we're always, looking at.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And I think one thing I wanted people to really know from this call was we don't like, we don't live in a cave either. Like we don't, I know Dave always talks about like, were you like collecting winds and dust in a cave? No, like, We have a budget, but we have a healthy income and we still get to do really like fun things and save and pay off our house.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So, yes, we were like very aggressive with some things, but we've also been super intentional and definitely the budget and the program and just being creative. being motivated by things bigger than us was a big part of our story for sure.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And I love, it sounds like you're still working to pay the house off. So I love the idea that you're a baby steps millionaire. It doesn't, again, it doesn't mean that, Your house is paid off and you're living in a million dollar mansion. Like this can look a lot of different ways. And each of those ways is extremely, extremely successful and aspirational. Very, very good.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
As soon as I can walk again and get my trailer moved out to Midland.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Right. I think that's everything. I would say everything. start, you know, have, you're not going to reach a goal that you don't set. So I think having a goal is like number one.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And I think we always talked, my husband and I always talked about, we have to understand as a couple, what we want, not what, I mean, you can look at social media and you can even like talk to friends and everyone's going to have their things, right? So maybe you love going out to eat or you love vacationing. You can't love it all. I mean, you can, but you can't spend your money on it all.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So choose what you're going to spend your money on. And then And don't spend money on other stuff just because other people do. We don't spend a lot of money on clothes, and I don't judge other people that do. We love to go on vacations. You know what I mean?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
A 2013 Kia Sorento. All right. That's not bad. That has like 130 miles, a thousand miles on it. And a 2016 Kia Sedona. That's my minivan.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
You are like Sam and I. You guys are trying. I drive a 2013 Cadillac. I think he drives a 2016 Yukon. And the miles are about the same. Yeah. And they're not crummy.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And that's, yeah. I know. They're perfectly fine for a family. They're fine for us.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
But they are certainly not flashy.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And they're worth probably less than $20,000 together. Right.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So what did you do that moment that you logged on to, you know, whatever your app is, that moment that you saw your real estate value and you kind of calculated it and realized, oh, my gosh, we made it. What did you do? How did you celebrate?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I was like, whoa. So I talked to my husband, but then we actually have some best friends who are the same age as us. And it's like, she is my like Ramsey person that I talked to about all this stuff. And we have such a cool relationship that we can chat about that stuff. So I called her up. They had just reached a million dollar mark.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So we went out for this amazing dinner together and it was super fun.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I don't know. I think that if it comes to that, that's okay. But I would not intentionally tank my credit. I would not intentionally not make the payments to tank my credit so that it gets sold off. I wouldn't do that. If that happened because of circumstances that you couldn't help, which happens every time and people call in, fine.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
You got to have friends that you can share money wins with.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Well, I'm just trying to make heads or tails of all of it, right? Because it's like we knew in 2022 that inflation was going bananas. Like we felt it. The numbers were there. The data supported what we were feeling was true. But then we started to see inflation taper off. And we saw wages start to jump ahead. But yet we were still saying, oh, it's so expensive out there. It's so crazy.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And so my thought was like, okay, what's really happening? Because you're a guy that's following employment. You're following those numbers. And I'm looking at this graph here that I saw that really around March of 2023, a little earlier, wages really did start outpacing inflation at a decent rate. And I thought, okay, that means that we've got a little bit more margin back as American people.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Where is this money going? So I started looking around. And, you know, obviously we feel it at the grocery store. Like that's the main place people say, oh my gosh, it's so expensive. And around about the time I was looking at this, I saw that NPR came out with a grocery study that basically said they followed the prices of groceries from 2019 until today.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
They went to Walmart and they picked, I believe it was a hundred different items. And they said, we're gonna track this over the course of six years, basically. And what they found is on average, Out of those items that they tracked, 21 of the items actually got cheaper. 27 products got more expensive and the rest of them basically stayed the same.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And when you think about it, you're like, okay, that's interesting. That's not as much as I would have thought. Like I'm thinking everything has gone crazy. Everything's exploding. And so again, I'm like, okay, things have started to taper out. What's going on with this money? We're also seeing articles that are saying like people are spending more on their credit card than ever before.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
But at the same time, like investments are doing better than ever before. So the question is, is there margin and what are people doing with it? Is it true that wages are actually outpacing inflation? And from your point of view, what do you think about that?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah. Yeah. OK. I do like the idea of you going to the hospital and saying, hey, obviously, this is the extent of my injuries. Obviously, I did not have insurance. Obviously, it's going to take me some time. Is there some sort of payment plan I can work out that takes into account my hardship right now? Yeah. And I think they will do that.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So even if you see it at a moment, you're saying it doesn't generally last, right?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah, you feel it. So that's interesting. I mean, it goes back to our conversation earlier when we were talking about the tariffs and new administration and that sort of thing. If we were feeling it before... And it was because of other issues. You know, back then, right now they're saying the prices are up because of, you know, all sorts.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
But I don't want you to go into this with a hopeless mindset of saying I'll never be able to pay this off because I don't believe that. I think you can.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
It could be utilities and insurances for businesses to run. And so they're passing that along to the consumer. It could be extreme weather, right, with crops. And so because of that, that price is passing on to the consumer. But then if you add, I don't know, other things coming into this. So you're saying, basically what you're saying is, no, the consumer has every right to feel this.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
That's right. Well, it's like, that's what I want to tell everybody. It's not going to go back to what it was.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah, I mean, like you said, it's gone up 25%. But over the last year, it's gone up less than 1%. So it's not still climbing at that ridiculous rate.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Sam and I went out to dinner, and everybody has the menus on the screen now that you do the QR, which I hate.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Because it makes you get your phone out at dinner. Not going to those places.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
That was one of the things that they figured out. This is a lot cheaper for us, and we ain't going back.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah, you got to watch it with your wife.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
It's not for the faint of heart, though.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Hey, come on, Ken Coleman. Yeah, 2025. You're teaching me. This is life change, right? We are making real changes, real progress with our money. And we have just the thing to help folks out, Ken.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Hi, thanks for taking my call, guys. So we are snowballing our debt and doing everything we can, but we just got a letter from the IRS. It was a notice for intent to levy possessions for our 2023 taxes. We filed the taxes and everything, and we owed about $14,000 from 2023.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So we submitted all the paperwork in a down payment to set up a payment plan to pay that back while we're kind of snowballing all of our other debt.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
But they somehow, they managed to cash the check for a thousand dollars as a down payment, but lost our paperwork to set up the payment plan. Classic. So it kind of got me thinking, is there debt that's like more important to pay off than other debt? Or should I just throw this all into the snowball? Because
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I know I have a work bonus coming up pretty soon that would pretty much wipe out that IRS debt. So should I use it for that IRS or just keep on doing the snowball?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah, no, you are 100% right, Matt. There is some debt that's important.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
than others and in this case it's always IRS debt so when you're working your debt snowball we always say if you have IRS debt or if you're you know behind on your mortgage that sort of thing that jumps to the top of the list regardless of the fact because they can do so much damage and let's be honest nobody likes working with the IRS it is a pain in the butt and you want to get them off of your tail as quickly as possible so if you have this bonus coming up when does it come end of February
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah, I'm knocking that out instantly. And just make sure you keep record of everything because, listen, the IRS is notorious for making mistakes. I can't tell you how many times with our business we got sent a tax bill that was incorrect and we had to fight it and had to show proof. And, you know, you're always jumping through hoops with them.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
So whatever you do, make sure there's a very clear paper trail so that if this thing rears its head again, you've got everything documented.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Hello. I have a quick question. I am looking to get engaged soon, and my fiance has some student loan debt, about $65,000 of it. And I live at home. I own my own business. I've been able to save up quite a bit. I have about $180,000 saved up between different accounts, some in retirement, some, and some brokerage accounts and others in like just normal checkings and savings accounts.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I was curious about how should I go about handling paying this debt? Would something like a lump sum just handling it right away be wise? Would doing it over a period of time be wise? I've never had debt, so I don't know the best route to actually paying it off.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Listen, that's a great question. When do you guys get married?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
We're planning to get married in October of this year.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Okay. So when and only when you get married after you've said I do, I think it could be a good idea to pay off this debt depending on how much of your $180,000 saved is in non-retirement funds. So can you kind of break that down? How much of it is non-retirement?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah. So about $30,000 is in a Roth IRA. And then I have Like $50,000 in just like the S&P 500. Okay. And the rest is broken up between like a savings account. So like the rest, $100,000 is in savings accounts, like high-yield savings accounts.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
We are going to help you break the paycheck to paycheck cycle once and for all. That's really what it's about. How many can know how it feels to have more month left, but the money is gone, right? How many of us know what it feels like to be overdrafting our account, then you pay that $34 fee?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And checking accounts. And also in like my business checking accounts.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
OK, so of the 150, that's we'll call liquid because the index funds, if you don't have to touch it, you don't have to. But of all of that, how much would you say would be three to six months of expenses for you and your wife once you're in your lifestyle?
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah, I haven't yet calculated that out. I know what mine is currently. OK, but that's something I would have to calculate.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
I think that you're going to be fine. But what I would do is I would just set aside three to six months of what once you guys are married, set aside three to six months of what will be your expenses. And keep that in a high yield. And then if you still have the 60,000 liquid or 65,000 liquid to pay this off, I would pay it off. And even if you only have 55, I would do it in a lump sum.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
And then I would cash flow the rest of it until it's gone.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Yeah. Hey, I love your heart behind this. I love that for you. It's just as easy as saying, yeah, I'll write a check. That's a good sign, my friend.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Hi, I'm going through a divorce and have two high school sons and I'm wondering if I should rebalance some of my cash to help fund college or if I should try to get the lowest mortgage possible when I buy a different home.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Well, that's, I don't know. I don't know what their plans will be if they will go to a four year school or do something more technical.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
How much – well, it would be coming out of the home equity when I move homes.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
Well, I'm in an expensive area, so we have – I'm assuming we – I will walk away with about $700,000 in home equity, $600,000 to $700,000, but the cheapest thing I can buy is probably $800,000 to $900,000 for maybe a pound home.
The Ramsey Show
Do You Have Too Much Month Left at the End of Your Money?
About $12,000 to $15,000 per child. Okay. And I'd like to help them pay for college so they don't have debt.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
I need to know how to financially support myself after separating from my husband.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
Um, he's been basically live in, uh, a life as a single person all this time. And I am just, I mean, I'm 64 and he's 68, but I'm, I'm not, things are not going to get any different. And so I'm just ready to move on. We do have a net worth of a million point two. Okay. Thanks to, you know, doing your financial peace university.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
Yeah. So if you split that, you have 600,000, right?
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
Well, I guess I don't know how we... Well, the IRAs are mainly in his name. Doesn't matter.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess... I guess... So... I don't know. It just seems more complex than that.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
I mean, I'll have a pension coming from a job I had in my younger years.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
So we have $442 in cash. Okay. We own a home that's probably worth $360. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
I would probably want it because I have grandkids and it's set up for our grandkids. I guess the reason I'm having trouble figuring out how to do this is because I don't want him homeless, and we live in Washington State, and everything is crazier.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
Well, I mean, okay, so I guess he wouldn't be homeless.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
I guess I'm trying to... I mean, I don't hate him, and I just don't want to be with him anymore. And we've actually been living separately on our property for five years already.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
I know. It is. That's why I'm like, it's driving me mentally crazy.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
And that's a mutual thing between us. Yeah, so what?
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
Yeah. He's in a motor home, and I'm in the house.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
I guess I feel I don't, I want him to be able to.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
Yeah, but I guess my initial call was to you to find out, you know, yeah, I'll have some cash, but I need to figure out how I'm going to... How much is your pension? It'll be $710. I don't have it yet.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
No, it's not much, and I don't have much Social Security because I was a stay-at-home mom, and I homeschooled our kids.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
Yeah, and that's why I initially called.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
Well, I mean, we share everything. I do all of our finances still.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
Yeah. He makes about $110 a year. Oh, okay.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
Yeah. And he's 68, but he plans on working until he's 70. Mm-hmm.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
No, and I have no, I have no qualms with that. Um, I'm actually more down to Olympia, not Seattle. So it's not as crazy expensive down there as it is in Seattle. But my main question was, um, to figure out how I'm going to financially support myself. I know I'm going to have half of the estate, so to speak.
The Ramsey Show
Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
Well, I mean, if I'm not keeping the house, I'm going to have to pay rent somewhere.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
So I don't know exactly what I'm doing in that aspect of it.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Well, we actually have a really easy baby, so we do sleep really good. Yeah, I understand. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yeah, we have. So we bought this house. We had a house previously, so we have some money. We didn't use all of our money into this house. So we have like eight grand right now in our savings account. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yeah, because that's, I mean, we've always, we've never been able to save like a significant amount of money. And I've thought about just using that money to pay it off.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
But it's like having a security blanket.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
So I believe it's fair market value. But since my sisters and I will only own one-fifth of the house, Does that mean if we can sell it to them that we would only get one-fifth of that?
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Well, I'm a widow, and I'm 81 years old. And I am trying to come up with the best way to take the money I do have and make a short-term investment because being at 81, I don't think I'd qualify for the S&P. So I'm looking for suggestions from you as to where to put my $43,000. Okay. Are you using the $43,000 for living? Well, no.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
There's $18,000 in my checking account, $17,000 in my savings account, and I have cash on hand of $16,060. And my yearly income is $66,864. So the money that I've saved... So you can live on the income you have coming in without touching this money? Correct.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yeah, so like right now six people actually own his house because... But he also owns one-fifth of all of theirs, right? Correct, yes.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
In fact, I usually take about $2,000 out of it, out of my monthly income, and I keep it to build up on my cash.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Right. Good. And I really should take some of the money in checking and switch some of that over to my savings.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
But I'm not getting anything in my savings or anything on my checking, and so...
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
So my parents are giving me $60,000. They ask that one thing I do is to put it towards a new car, and I don't know what to do with the rest of the money, and it makes me very nervous.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
um i work for myself and with that i make about 60 and then i have a part-time job um and i make about 25 000 way to go so you're making 85 are you single yes i'll be 35 in two weeks good for you okay and um and you have a 13 year old all right and do you have any debt No, I actually just finished your book last week and paid off my credit cards two weeks ago, and I don't have any student loans.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Okay, so that's kind of what we would sell it for then is the one-fifth value of the four.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
I have $1,000 in my savings, and then my son has about $3,000 right now. I do pay him for my company, so each year I can get up to the max of paying him.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
It's a Nissan Rogue 2015. It has 162,000 miles on it, and I did replace the transmission a year ago, which was 6,000, so I'm kind of done with this car.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Um, right now I looked at the value. It only will give me about 2000. Um, and I was just going to hold on to it so that my son can learn how to drive on it and he can kind of tear it up in like the next year. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
I did not want to go over 30,000 at all.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Okay. Then you and your siblings would split that?
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yes, so it should be about $15,000 left to put in the savings is what you're saying?
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yes. And then you've got $8,000 left over.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yes. So our plan is actually to give it to our mom, the profits of it. Her and my dad... built this house with their own hands when they were teenagers. And so we would like to see the money just go to her. But we want to make sure we're
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Um, so they're giving me some and giving my sister some too.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yes, my parents do have them, and then there's a couple other in the family.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Separated, not divorced yet. But she was never put on the deed.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
It's lake frontage property on Lake Ontario. There's a few million, to be honest.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Well, we have a little situation here that I need some advice with. My husband has a small business that he's been operating for a year and it's currently running at $20,000 in debt. And we have recently found out that we will be receiving an inheritance from one of my family members who passed away last summer. When we set this whole business up,
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
The understanding was that we wouldn't be mixing any of our personal money, personal finances with the business, and that there would be a hard line drawn there.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
The two of us. My husband and I had that conversation.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
My fear is, am I going to feel resentful when we use the inheritance to pay off that loan?
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yeah, and I know it was a verbal agreement between the two of us as husband and wife, and he totally was on board that the business would have to pay for itself and that we wouldn't be using any retirement money, any of our personal money to pay that off.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Oh, yeah, I totally understand that. So, I mean, you already have mixed it.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
I understand that. I know 100% we're on the hook for it. I guess maybe it's a relational question, a relationship question. How much is the inheritance? It will be close to $150,000.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
No, I did. I wanted him to succeed at the business, totally.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Not one year in. Is it losing money still? Let me go back and say that. Last year, it's a very small lawn care business, and it's only last year he grossed $50,000, netted about $20,000, and put all of that right back into the business. Unfortunately, it wasn't to pay the loan. It was to buy more equipment, and that I didn't necessarily agree with, but I went along with it.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
And then there was also an agreement he would be working in the off-season to be paying off that loan, and that didn't happen either. So that's where maybe perhaps this is more of a relational question.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Right. I would agree with that statement.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
I agree. I agree. I just want to make sure that, that what I'm thinking is correct.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Well, part of it was the initial investment into the business. That was part of the $50,000. I mean, it was an already established business, and he bought it from another gentleman. Doesn't sound like it was very established.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Is that the question, or was there too much being spent on the budget? I don't believe the budget was followed very well either.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Well, he had always worked for farmers, which is a pretty low-paying job. He just kind of always wanted to be his own business owner, and we actually live in a very rural area, and the options are pretty limited.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yes, I grew up, my father owned his own business.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
That's a good way to put it, George. Yeah, George.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
I'm a director of music education for a music store.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
And I am an HR manager and catering manager for an ice cream company. Oh, that's fun.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
$75K in exactly three years to the day.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yeah, so actually in December of 2018, we listened to nine straight hours of the show. We're originally from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and we moved to North Carolina. So on the Christmas journey home, we were looking for a podcast and we came on yours.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yeah, I think that Christmas I was on YouTube and saw one of those clips. It was like a young kid from your show made 20 grand or something, and I watched it. It was like a kid who sold Pokemon cards or something. And then when she was looking for a podcast, you guys were one of the top ones. And so that's why she saw it. I was like, oh, let's listen to that.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
And it was like the first time we've ever heard people talk about that. And then it was just... okay, put on another one, put on another one. And we'd listen to like nine hours from Pittsburgh all the way down to North Carolina. And he said, wait, we could do this.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yeah. And so we were just dating at the time. So we were, we had some of our own debt. So I actually paid off my car that following September in 2019.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
And I started paying off some of my loans. And then, yeah, 2020 happened. And the interest stopped on our loans, so we were able to make a lot of progress. We got engaged in October of 2020. When we got engaged, we paused. Because listening to your show, there's just so much wisdom that we heard. And we were dating for a while, and we wanted to have a good relationship.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
wedding and so we cash flowed a wedding for the next year got married in october of 2021 and that's when we said okay now it's us against the world we we have 75k of debt and yeah we were just chugging away and then in 2024 in january 2024 we found out that we were pregnant with our first kid yeah yeah she's over here i think she might be crying off stage somewhere
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
And then, yeah, so we paused and paying off our debt, stacked up cash, felt really comfortable. I mean, that was just great advice from you guys, because we're having a baby. And so it felt great to have more than a thousand dollars. And then she was born in September of,
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yeah, 2024. And two and a half weeks later was our third anniversary. And we were looking at the numbers. We're like, wait, we could pay it off on our third anniversary. So we're at home with a two and a half year old or two and a half week old. And yeah, we made our like last payment. We actually have a big chart we wanted to show you guys. I think one time you mentioned, be weird, make a chart.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yeah. Yeah. So we bought this chart, there's 1,000 squares, and we said, okay, 75K, each square is 75 bucks, and it just made you think about $75 way differently. Yeah, every little bit adds up. You got a fully colored in chart there. Yeah, the marker, we didn't wanna buy another marker, so we would like, as you see.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, we've never... ever thought about money or thought, you know, there's never been any contention over money. It's just been like, oh, that's the plan. You know, this is what we're doing and it just made us, allowed us to focus on everything else in life. Wow.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
yeah yeah and actually we even bought a car during that time because he had gotten into a car accident and his car was totaled yeah we cash flowed a car with um 240 000 miles on it yeah so we bought a used car but yeah we were able to cash flow it and once again it was just very quick uh painless and stress stress-free wow way to go what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
I would say staying motivated and dreaming about the future. And we would always talk about what we want our future to look like and, you know, having this baby and what we want her future to look like and just planning and really daydreaming about like what life could be.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Real quick, I just want to say I've grown up listening to you. My mom, every day when she'd pick me up from school, she'd pick me and my brother up and would be listening to you. So I wanted to give a quick shout-out to her and a shout-out to you. That's fine. How old are you? I'm 26. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
I know, I know. I was a child listening to you. I grew up listening to you.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
So my question was, with everything going on within the market and everything like that, how is it that you're supposed to grow wealth throughout everything with the stock market supposedly crash and everything like that. Got my cat jumping on me. Sorry.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
So this is a crazy question, but I'm going to try and keep it brief. My childhood home where my dad still lives is an LLC with three other family member homes. There's five shares on each home, him, his parents, and his two siblings. And my dad's in poor health right now and it will get passed down to me and my sisters after.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Um, so my question is, um, I want to know how much do I need to understand about our investments? You say don't invest if you don't understand. I manage the U S investments for me and my husband and my husband manages our India investments as he's an Indian citizen. Do I actually need to know about it or is it okay for me to just be like, that sounds great, honey. Thanks.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
So every month we sit down and he shows me the spreadsheet. It shows me where. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
And we just don't know how to even go about dealing with this due to the situation and other things. We just won't have peaceful use of this home. So we would like to sell it, but we have to sell it to one of the other owners and we just don't know what to do.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
So my husband and I make about $4,800 to $5,000 a month. You know, give or take over time, things like that. But our mortgage payment is $1,750 a month. And I mean, obviously we have other bills. We end up usually being able to save about $400 a month, which isn't, I'd like to save more than that. So I'm trying to figure out how to increase our income.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Should I have this idea to start a small business or should I just go get a regular like part-time job?
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
No. So, um, we probably, we just had a daughter, um, she's eight months old. So we're, you know, obviously getting bills from hospital stays and stuff like that from her. And then I have a $10,000, um, student loan. So we have about, I don't know, about 20, $25,000 worth of debt. Okay. So you did not have insurance on the delivery. We did, but that was after insurance.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
No, I mean, I'm just kind of honestly, that's like a guesstimate. That's not just delivery. That's like I had a high-risk pregnancy, so I had to go to a lot of different doctors, so I'm getting doctor's bills from that and stuff like that. It's not just... from delivery. It's just medical bills in general. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
Yeah. Yeah. I kind of tend to like over budget and things like that.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Is Real, But So Is The Solution
So I'm thinking more so of, and I mean, I don't know, but I'm thinking more so I'm trying to start like a photo booth business and I've done some research. It's minimal startup. We kind of have a lot of the equipment already. Um, I think I could start making money very soon. Obviously, I'm not naturally like I'm not like a go getter as far as like being my own boss or anything like that.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Yeah, the premium version is so worth it, you all, because you connect it to your bank account. So your transactions drop in. So you drag and drop them. Some people still use the cash envelope system, but most people, this is like the 2024, 2025 way of doing it.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
but you're sitting there and watching it and you're able to drag and drop these transactions to know per category what's left. And to your point, all the other features, the paycheck planning, because some people, you know, if you are paycheck to paycheck cycle, it is so difficult to break that because you're using that paycheck to funds your life up to the 15th.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And if too much is getting taken out at the beginning of the month, you're going to be bouncing checks more. I mean, it just, it gets, it gets really complicated. So the paycheck planning helps even within that to get on a great cycle when it comes to your paychecks and to stay on top of it. It's, So helpful.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Actually, a good question, Corey.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
18-year-old, $200,000 in loans for college. Sure, sure. Right? Yeah. They just hand it to you.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I'm not sure. That's a good question.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
No, I know. That probably wasn't the number. 10 easy payments. It's at the end of every transaction. 20 easy payments of $1.26. No, I got you. Whatever it is.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
mm-hmm the actor who can't get a part now what's in your wallet or the great actress because they're paying billions or millions of dollars to her too so yeah because they have it gotta admit I'm a Jennifer fan there was a um that's what I was thinking of Jennifer Garner yeah she's actually great but Maverick her dad would not be proud I know and I'm trying to look up because it was sent to me by multiple people now I can't find it
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Because of the color of my plastic. And you get to pay more fees to get those cards, too.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
That I don't know. That's a good question.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And just to remember that they're they're here to make money.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
money off of you and they know how to do it like that's their job that's their job and there was a recent clip it went crazy but the one you're just trying to find yes and i found it the president of or whoever it was of mastercard and visa it was the two they have 80 of the market share and they're in front of congress because because of antitrust Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Yep. I think so, yes. Yes. By the way he was talking about it. I wasn't that, not that specific with him. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Well, and they can't they won't lower fees for small businesses like they give deals to big corporations like Walmart. And and they have to verbalize and say what they're making their profit margin. It makes you sick. It makes you realize literally off the backs of Americans. This is what they're making. Like it is they make.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And we know we I know we know that they make billions and billions and billions. But as you sit there and watch these two people, you're like, oh, my God. And they're not even. you know, from any level of integrity, trying to help small businesses, even though we're against credit cards, but like even that, right? I mean, everything is about making money. It's all they're in it for.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And so they know how to do it really well. And they market it to you and bring you into this cycle and this mindset of it. That is very, it's crazy.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Moral of the story, look up the Congress clip.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Is he the one that put you guys in the ponds, Carol, to begin with? Or was that something that you had? Yes.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Good. How about yourself?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I was just calling regarding how I can stay focused on getting out of debt and not incurring more.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Okay. How much debt do you guys have or do you have?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I have about $20,000 and my fiance has about $20,000.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Why are you getting out of debt? I just want a better life, and we have a kid on the way, and I'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
No, he's been, we've been with him for our entire working career. Oh, okay.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Do you feel that, Jake? Where do you feel like you are on the scale?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I feel like I'm definitely on the high end of the scale, probably a 7 or an 8.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I would like to be at a 10. Her situation's a little different. She doesn't see eye to eye with me on the getting out of debt thing.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Okay, have you guys talked about that?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
We have, and I've kind of tried to explain to her, like, hey, us getting out of debt means less payments. It means more money to take towards our kid and ourselves and our life together. And her side of the coin is she's like, well, she has the mentality of, well, you can't have the nice car unless you have a payment, and you can't have the nice house unless you have a payment.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Yeah, and I tried to explain that to her. I'm fighting to fix my own debt as much as I can, and we do basically everything together.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
It's one of the top, it's always in the top five list, sometimes the top three, sometimes it's number one, depending on which list you look at of reasons for fights and disagreement in marriage. It's a really big topic. So I would, and I would talk to her too about the why behind it for you.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And even on a deeper emotional level too, Jake, not just, oh yeah, so we don't have payments and we can build wealth, but there's a level of a value system at which you look at life that needs to be so aligned together to enjoy your marriage and your life together.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Hey, Dave and Rachel. Thank you so much for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Okay, so I've been listening to you guys for about six weeks, really diving in. Actually, I look forward to the show every day like at 2 o'clock.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I've been talking to my husband about all the things and kind of keeping him in the loop. I'm the main one that does the finances, and it's been that way for years. Um, we're on baby step two. And so I have, you know, our snowball list. Um, we don't have like a lot of line items.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
It's just a big amount, unfortunately in total, but, um, obviously listening to your all's advice and I know it's going to take some time and a lot of hard work, but, um, my main question is, um, I have not taken into account the $5,000 worth of medical bills that we have sadly racked up.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And so with my list, my snowball list, how do I incorporate or incorporate the payments for the medical bills with like my loans and my credit card that we are currently working on?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Smallest to largest. Smallest to largest what?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Balance, correct. Sorry, balance.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I do have balances on them, yes.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Okay, so that's what I was curious on. Should I just, because there's multiple lists of or multiple different bills of medical, should I just add them into that list so then it'd be one single list?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
feels good it does feel good i i've paid off most of the little ones it's of the medical ones that yeah yeah most of the little ones so it's the bigger ones that what's your smallest medical bill right now uh probably 190 right now still smallest one still very yeah it's still small for sure how much total uh crystal is your debt snowball i'm just curious what your journey is how much you're paying off
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
So right now, without the medical bills, because currently it's a separate list, I've got about $80,000. So $85,000. Exactly.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
So I think we make really good money. We're about $230 a year. Oh, great. You're going to be done in a year. I know. We've just made a lot of, what is it you say, mistakes with zeros on the end. We've made a lot of those.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Yeah, that's the goal. That's pretty cool. That's absolutely the goal, and my husband is all on board.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
He is. He is. Absolutely. Yes, I agree. Thank you. I appreciate it.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. Very exciting.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And you do it and you're like, oh, it'll be done in a year.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Good. It's so nice to talk to you, Dave and Rachel.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Yeah, my dream is to achieve financial freedom and continue to build wealth, but I feel like my spending habits are getting in the way of that. a little bit of background. I'm 25. I'm making over $150,000 a year. Wow, good for you. Yeah, I have no debt.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I'm putting myself through school, but I find myself spending unnecessarily on things I don't need, and I'm just wondering if I can get some advice on how to rein in my spending and start building wealth and achieve my financial freedom goal that I'm shooting for.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I am studying engineering, and I am in pretty much an entry-level engineering position. And I love what I do. I'm able to work from home, and I have a lot of great benefits, but I feel like there's more that can be done.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
So what are you wanting? Yeah, when you say there's more, because I mean, you're putting yourself through school debt-free, correct? You have no other debt. So is it investing you're looking at? Is it just your spending habits that you feel like you're making a lot, but there's not a lot to show at the end of the month? What's your biggest pain point?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Yeah, I feel like I have... I don't have boundaries when it comes to spending. I feel like I could be using my money for better things like investing for the long term. But I find myself spending a lot of time online shopping or going out. And I don't have a lot at the end of each month to put in my investment accounts like I'd like to.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Okay. Are you on a specific budget, like a pretty detailed budget?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Um, not really. I just kind of spend as you want. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I mean, honestly, for you, Sarah, that's that in an investing goal are the two things that I think completely change your life. I mean, if you have it, if you have a budget, because you're doing well financially, right? You're not going deep into debt. You're not trying to pay off debt. You really are able to use the cash that is coming in from your income.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And you're going to be able to spend some. I mean, you're at this point that you will be able to enjoy some of it, but you're not able to really enjoy it because you're questioning every purchase. And so being able to put a line item and deciding a dollar amount ahead of time to say, okay, yeah, I can go shopping, but I'm just going to put this amount. And
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And that automatically is going to give you a guardrail to enjoy it and still, you know, because you're at the point again, I will reiterate, you don't have debt, you have a great income, so you can enjoy part of it, but you want to do it with some level of control and purpose.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And then knowing on the other end that you do have an investment goal, and I would tell you 15% of your income should be going into retirement. And knowing you're doing that as well is going to give you a lot of peace and freedom. But that monthly budget, I think, is going to be a really great tool for you to help. Because I'm the same way. I'm a spender. I enjoy spending, shopping, all things.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
But this advice is very prominent among financial advisors.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And And I do it now with such more peace knowing, okay, yeah, there's a specific dollar amount per month that I have the ability to spend and I'm going to cut it off after that. And so that takes a level of discipline, but it also allows you to enjoy life and enjoy your money so much more.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I'm staring at a screen for like 12 hours a day.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
No, this definitely sounds right. I definitely need a hobby outside of the screens.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Yeah, that's definitely me.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And I am putting money away for retirement. I'm just wondering. But you start with the, I want you to give. If I'm not spending on Amazon, where should I put it?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And the other money to save, she asked, besides just retirement, you know, open up a high-yield savings and have a savings goal to say, yeah, I need a fully funded emergency fund of six months. And beyond that, have things you're saving up for to at least have the motivation to put that money away.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Today's question comes from Lucy in Nebraska. Brr. Man, Lucy. Yeah, I mean, I would agree with you. I wouldn't be in agreement with this plan either. And with you and your husband, yeah, I mean, I think continuing to sit down and understand and unpack why you're not in agreement and it's not pointing fingers at him saying, well, you, you, you.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
This is talking about you and what and your desires, your fears, which you are worried about in this. And just the simple math of even though, yeah, you said you guys, your house is paid for and you have no bills, but you're on a fixed income. I don't know if you're working towards retirement or what that looks like, but realistically running these numbers out. Even for a decade, right?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
The next 10 years and what the reality is for your situation. Because I do think some parents, the heartstrings get tugged so deeply that sometimes you lose the reality of your situation. And that's maybe what your husband's doing since it's his daughter, right? Um, but I would be looking at not just the emotional side, but also the number side with him, um, a lot.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
even though he feels like he's helping, it's actually putting them in a pretty dire situation, having to float a mortgage through a rental property. Not good. Not smart.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Hi, guys. So great to talk to you.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
So, my husband and I are on baby step seven. We have just over a million dollars in our net worth. And we have run into a scenario where we think that we have found our dream house. And it would have us go back into... into debt for it. We would take out a small mortgage to basically, we'd sell our house for roughly 450 and then turn around and have a mortgage again for about 250,000.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
You don't have the 250? No, not all liquid.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Not liquid, not all. No, I mean, yeah, we have about half a million in retirement. We have 45 cash and we have a $15,000 emergency fund and then a little bit other money in some investments.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I believe that's probably about 50 or 60.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
No. How much did you guys make a year, Deb? $200, not including his bonus. That kind of fluctuates every year, so $200 is for sure.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
But, yeah, in a reasonable time, you know, because a mortgage is the one type of debt we do talk about.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Yeah, but if it's a small amount and you liquidate the 50 from the retirement, the other 45, you know, that's half of it. And if you guys commit to say we're going to pay it off in 24 months or whatever, you know what I mean?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
That's what he thought you were going to say.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Yeah, no. No, and I think probably we've, deep down, we know that we probably would have buyer's remorse. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Okay, but we have known people that this is like not for a car or anything.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
the i think that's the biggest honestly it's less about the math and deb situation it is because i'm like reasonably all the things but that's what we talk about is that personal finance it is it is more than just the math it is that element of like oh we're going back in you can buy a house just like that one in 36 months and pay cash for it that's what i would do this is the ramsey show
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
So I just have a question on, I'm not familiar with the baby steps, first of all. We have mounting credit card debt and a mortgage and
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
one loan on a car and i do have some retirement um para that could be cashed in but that sounds like a terrible idea and i just want help and guidance knowing what is the not easiest because i know this isn't going to be easy but the most efficient way to pay off this credit card debt yeah that's a great question jacqueline how much um how much debt is it total
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Credit card, I would guess $55,000 to $65,000. Okay. Is that over multiple cards? Correct. How many would you say? Three cards. Three cards. Okay. What other debt is there?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Car is $26,000 on my husband's. Mine is paid off.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
My husband retired last year. I would say... Currently it is 120.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
My son has congenital chronic tumors, and we had to pay for those, and so we had to put the credit card debt on things for him. living expenses, um, just because it got too much so that it's not like frivolous spending or anything like that, but it was, you know, things we needed.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
My husband or my son or my husband, your son, uh, eight.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Um, it ebbs and flows. He just, he has a lot of surgeries and, um, the state I live in blue cross blue shield and the children's hospital, um, Couldn't come to an agreement or who got paid what. And so my son was in the hospital and we were on the hook for the bill while he was in the hospital.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
We're working with the attorney general right now on it.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Yes. How old is your husband, Jacqueline? Because you said he's retired.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Yes, he's 56. And so when he retired, I had to pick up the family health insurance. So I advised him to get a job with my company because if it's a dual spouse, if both spouses work for the company that I work for, the insurance is free. And so that saved us about $1,400 a month. Oh, wow. But obviously he doesn't...
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
He was in law enforcement, so obviously he doesn't really want to be working, but such is life. So I'm happy that he was willing to go back to work.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And I want to use that. And so I do have the opportunity in the next four months or so to more than double my income. Wow. Yeah. So, I mean, that's excellent. Um, you know, it comes with the sacrifices of, you know, family time and whatnot. So if I do get that job, it would make most sense to me to live on my current, on our current income and put the extra money,
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
You know, the difference in the income.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Okay. So live below the current income.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And Jacqueline, do you want to be a paralegal long term? Like, do you want to do this for the next? Okay, you do. Okay. Just making sure. Yep. I wouldn't do it for a year just to make more money and then feel like you have to go back to your old job, right? So I wanted to make sure that career shift was what you wanted in the first place, too.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
That one... I believe it's $12,000. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I'm okay with that. It's for a short period of time. Yeah, and stress is causing a whole different set of stress, so I'm willing to do whatever it takes. to do this. And I know my husband is on board. Um, there's some side jobs that I can also do to pay this off.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And are you guys funding retirement to Jacqueline? Cause I would pause that. Yes. Yep. I would pause retirement temporarily. Yep. For two years.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Is the $180,000 include that Master's? Is that the total once you get out? Or will there be more?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Mm-hmm. Okay. And what are you doing now for a job? I'm a case manager at a rehab. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, Erica, it's going to be a long road. But can I just say, though, number one, we hear people with these numbers, and they get out. It does take years. But this is going to be a total change of lifestyle for the next probably five years.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Well, it's all student loans. No, it's not.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Well, and I think you made a good point earlier that, and this is good for people, especially young people that are entering into adulthood of buying new cars, maybe getting advanced degrees, getting jobs, like this whole thing, is don't take the one offer out there, the one car, and go and take exactly what they say, the one school you look at and get accepted to and you just take, right?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
There's a life of options out there. And I don't think people do that, right? They get into a situation and they just...
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
okay this is great this is what they're offering and i'm just going to sign my name and do it and so thinking through this stuff when your mind multiple options when your mind tells you there's only one way to do it your mind is lying to you and erica that could be your situation right you you go and come into this car loan you get accepted to a school and you know you accept it's just this one option path that a lot of people take that ends up usually not with a great deal like you were saying getting screwed in the car whole thing and the degree and
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And you're not ROI-ing things. You're not looking at other options and have five or six different things in front of you to say, what's the better deal? So forward thinking.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Hello. Thank you so much for taking my call. It's a thrill to talk to you all.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Yeah. And I think one of the most important things we've learned with the financial advisor is exactly what you said at the top of this, is that here are my goals. And if they're not respecting or hearing that, they're going to do the inverse of that.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
That's right. That's right.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I have a husband who's retiring within the next 12 months. and we'd like to finish paying off the mortgage on the house. Good. Yes, per your advice. And our financial advisor is advising us not to because the mortgage is at under 3%, and our investments are doing well above that. However, that doesn't matter to us. We want to plow ahead and get this done.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
A question always in the back of, is this okay? Am I okay? Is this okay?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Oh, yeah. Well, and there's a thought, too, that a lot of people have that think, OK, if I know and I plan out and I do a budget and I see a number in a specific line item like groceries, then I can't just go and spend whatever I want. And that doesn't that that I hear the opposite, too, of like, oh, that's just that sounds so constricting and like that sounds so controlling.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And I don't know if I want that.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And then you start to realize there is an underlying level of anxiety, whether you address it or not, when you still have a question mark in your head of thinking, okay, as I'm taking stuff and putting it in my cart and I'm going to check out and I see that total, the feeling of, oh, I thought that was going to be restrictive when I know, oh, this is how much I have to spend each week.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
It actually becomes such freedom where you actually enjoy and have a level of peace with it. So on both ends, right, the level of anxiety of do we have enough, but then also people are saying, oh, my God, I don't want to live on a budget because that just means I can't have any fun and that feels so restrictive.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
Well, you don't realize on that end, too, there's a level of anxiety because you don't know what's going on.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
And our next question to him is, how can we best divest of our investments and pull the money out, make the cash available to do this? And his next tier of advice is to pull from our bonds that are earning at tax-free rates as opposed to pulling from our mutual funds that we'll have to pay capital gains taxes on. What do you suggest we do?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is a Trap That Will Hold You Back From Building Wealth
I probably would have done that, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Broke and in Debt. Do You Want To Be Normal?
Hey, guys. Can you hear me okay? Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Broke and in Debt. Do You Want To Be Normal?
I did. I guess I'm processing how much Ken is in the room, I guess. But basically, my question is, so right now, I feel really stuck in my career. My wife and I are in the middle of Baby Steps 2. How much do you have left? We're trying to get through that. We've got about 50 grand left, so we're plugging away.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Broke and in Debt. Do You Want To Be Normal?
Right now I feel like looking to change careers to find something that I have a growth plan on. And my job currently, I feel like I've hit the ceiling without having to move away from where I am.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Broke and in Debt. Do You Want To Be Normal?
So I work for my state agency. I am an equipment trainer. Basically, I help new employees obtain their CDL license and help with other heavy equipment.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Broke and in Debt. Do You Want To Be Normal?
So right now I make $57 a year. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Broke and in Debt. Do You Want To Be Normal?
I mean, for me, it would involve some type of peak teaching, whether it's adult teaching, whether working within a company that needs someone to help train new employees on their processes. Great. That's what I do, and that's one thing I love about my job. It's not that, you know, I love what I do. I have a great job, but just, you know.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Broke and in Debt. Do You Want To Be Normal?
Right. The only room for advancement at all would be supervising, and I would not be doing what I thought.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Broke and in Debt. Do You Want To Be Normal?
Yeah. Well, so I'm not from the Denver area. That's the closest big town. So I'm like from like Southwest Kansas.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Broke and in Debt. Do You Want To Be Normal?
Well, so my other, I guess part of the question would be during us going through Baby Step 2, would that be the good time to switch careers?
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Broke and in Debt. Do You Want To Be Normal?
So my wife is a teacher, so she gets about $47,000 a year.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Broke and in Debt. Do You Want To Be Normal?
Last I checked, it'll take us a little bit over a year, because I work a side hustle as an interim pastor. Okay. So we're able to put most of that to the debt. So we're able to probably be able to get that done in just over a year.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Broke and in Debt. Do You Want To Be Normal?
Yeah, I got about three and a half at this position. I've been at the state for about 11 years now.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Oh, I have my own new bank account. Oh, how much is in that? Yeah. Right now, about $2,000 because I'm paying for lawyer fees are really taking a good chunk of my money right now. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
We probably had a combined about $50,000 cash available.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
And I don't know what he's done with that.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Now, the problem is she's not working with a lawyer right now.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Thank you for taking my call. Sure.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Hey, I am trying to get on the same page with spending with my girlfriend. We just recently, in the past couple months, we did move in together, and I've been happy to cover all the necessity bills, rent, groceries, etc. But as of more recently, I have not been able to get on the same page. She has a card of mine that she uses for
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Groceries expenses, but I've noticed a lot of charges that I can't keep up with. And I brought it to her attention. And every time I do, we get into a fight. So I'm just calling. What am I doing wrong? How can I get on the same page?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Yes. So she works. And she makes a decent amount as well. She has some other debts that she's paying. She has some student loans. She has a car payment. I don't have any debt aside from the debt that would be spent on that car that she uses that I brought up to her attention.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
So, for example, at the end of this past month, there was $1,900 between Target and shopping. And she's not shopping necessarily personal, buying shoes and bags. It's expenses that are for, you know, home and decoration. But it's... Yes, correct. Not for a wrong cause or anything, but it's charges that I can see the bottom of the barrel coming very quickly if this continues.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
How old are you? I'm 23. How old is she? She's 23 as well. And what do you make?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
So I work an hourly construction job, and I make somewhere between $60 and $70 a year. I also do have a side business that I'm starting to finally see some...
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
So it's not that I haven't. It's that I don't mind.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Yeah, it was $1,700 last month, and I said something then. And we got an argument, and then it was $19 this month.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
I guess my problem is I see so many characteristics of her that are marriage material, and so I try to overlook this problem and try and compromise and make it work. But every time I say something, we get an argument.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Hi, Dave. I'm well, thank you.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Look, I'm a legal immigrant. I'm a green card holder in the United States. My wife is a United States resident. We're looking to purchase our first home. And after speaking to a mortgage broker, because I have no credit history or credit score to speak of, he's essentially told us that I cannot go on the loan and it's going to have to be my wife by herself to go on the loan myself.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
which brings our borrowing power much less than we hoped it would be, which brings the quality of the home that we were hoping to put our family into into a much lower quality home.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
I believe she has about a 750 at the moment.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Yeah. For five freaking months. Yeah. I think the other problem is she's currently pregnant. It's not mine. So that kind of throws another.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
We're out of debt. We're on baby step three, so we've just managed to get – You got a house now?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
We do have a mortgage. It's my wife's home. We're in Phoenix.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
We just put that home on the market.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Yeah, I'm 30 years old, and I work as a retail manager making about $45,000 a year. I have about $35,000 in debt, and my question is, I've watched your show for a long time, and I know about the snowball. I kind of know the steps to get out of it. But I have really bad OCD, and I don't use my kitchen at home, so I spend a lot of money on pre-made meals and going out to eat.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
And I was trying to see if there's any way you could give me a budget of how to get out of that while maybe keeping a small budget so I could keep... buying pre-made meals.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Right, it's just like it's a contamination problem. And I have started going to therapy for it. Oh, you're worried about germs. I will be able to start doing... Yeah, I got the germ thing. And so I'm going to therapy for it. But I want to start and I know I'll get there eventually. But I want to start my debt. I want to start getting out of debt now.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
So my question is, is there any way I can make a budget where I can keep buying meals out or ordering like factor meals, stuff like that, and start getting out of debt?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Well, I have twenty thousand dollars in a car. OK. And then I have about twelve thousand dollars in like unsecured past debt that are that are all going to collections.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Yeah, that's what kind of concerns me.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
And it's from a long time ago. I don't really have anything that's current besides my car. OK.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
The car is probably worth $15,000. Okay. I owe $20,000 is the payoff amount. But it's a really high interest, so it's like $36,000.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Okay. On addressing this problem. I do ride sharing as well. I'm sorry? A little bit on the side I can do ride sharing to make extra money.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Hey, Dave Virgil. Thanks for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Hey, my wife and I, we've done pretty well. We've been married about a year and a half. Saved up a down payment for a house. We've got about $110,000. Wow. Yeah. We're really wanting to follow your guys' plan with a 15-year mortgage. But the average house price here, just based off our incomes, we're going to be a little bit over that 25% mark on a 15-year.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
And I heard George mention it on an episode the other day where he said it's kind of a guideline and just kind of give you context. We spend about $6,000 to $7,000 a month. Our total salaries is $210,000, but our total take-home income with $275,000 last year. And just kind of what we're looking at, I'm trying to determine if that 25% mark is flexible.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
And yeah, we save about $5,000 to $6,000 a month. And that's with rent of about $25,000.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
The interest rate or what is the percentage?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
The house we're looking at is like 37% right now.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
We're looking at $550. Total monthly payment is $4,000 a month with $110 down. I'm doing something wrong. Wait a minute. There's something wrong with this formula.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Our take-homes, I just based off salary. That's what my wife and I decided was $210,000 salary.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Yeah. No, I think I was doing my math wrong then, Dave. I was looking at our 210 and netting out our giving.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Yeah, it sounds like we were just being way too conservative.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
I was just wondering, how do you blend finances, or how do you do finances with a blended family? especially when you don't have children together. Short backstory, he has two kids from previous marriage and 50-50 custody. I have one and have sole custody and trying to figure out finances.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Right. And for me, it was like financial security for mine since their mom works too, so they have financial support on both ends. And I think I got stuck because I was like in the only one financially, in a sense, responsible for mine.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
I guess a little of both. Cause like right now we have, I have a checking account and he has a checking account. And then we have a joint shared account that we pay all the bills out of. And he wanted everything to go into that account. And I was like, well, I kind of, again, part of this was just already having the checking account in existence and
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Wanted to maintain it because that's where I pay like my car out of and such things. And I think for maybe ease, he wanted everything into one.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. I got a question. It's kind of a rough situation. I need to know the best way to buy a used car going through a pretty nasty divorce. My car finally just bit the dust. My buddy said it can't. The transmission's out. The frame's rusted. I'm the type that just... Drives them until they're dead.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
We had like a rough estimate, but we're still trying to like... Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Okay, I'll try to make this brief. I am 35, married with a kid and a second on the way. I have $1.8 million in debt total.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Yeah. Does that include your home? I live in Montreal, which is the third most expensive city in Canada. And I work as a nurse, which is the cheapest paid in the whole of Canada.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Well, I have a triplex, which I owe about $680,000 on. I have my family home, which I owe $590,000 on.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
The triplex is worth about $850. Okay. I'm trying to get $950 on it, but I don't know if I should lower the price. Oh, so you've got it up for sale.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
My home is worth about $750. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
No, it's not all of it. I have two Hondas, which I owe close to $70,000 on each. I have $350,000 of personal debt and then $35,000 of credit card and student loans.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
It was loaned to me mostly by my cousin, both as a down payment for the house as well as to renovate the house and the triplex. Wow.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
The problem is, I don't know what my soon-to-be ex did with the finances. She split up everything, left me with almost nothing. My lawyer's been trying to work on finding that out, but she's not working with a lawyer. So I just need to know the best way to do this. If we combined everything, we have the money to do that.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Around $110,000, $120,000 before tax.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
No, they're fairly new, but they're electric cars.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
We got them because we would be saving $500 in gas per car.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
Well, I had my aha moment when I saw $22,000 going out in one month after doing a budget. and I don't know what exactly to do. I tried to get my wife on board. She says she'll get rid of everything besides for the house and the cars. I cut out everything from potato chips to haircuts, literally anything I could to curb the debt, curb the expenses.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
And I wish I could do more jobs a day, but my doctor says that because I'm bipolar, I need to have a healthy work-life balance. and my wife is going on maternity leave in 12 weeks.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
She gets 70% paid. Okay. For how long? For a year. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
But she basically has told me to either get a car loan, which I don't like doing because we found I got out of debt. But I just need to know the best way to approach this without having to go out.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Привет, Генри, Ричард, как ты сегодня? Хорошо, что происходит? Я спрашиваю, если я должен остаться с моим современным работником, или если я должен начать искать другую работу? Скажи мне больше, я должен знать больше.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
У меня есть муж и отец, у меня есть три маленьких девушки, и у меня есть еще один в 4,5 недели. Вау! Поздравляю!
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Итак, мой современный работник, я сказал им, что моя семья растет, и то, что я делаю там, сейчас просто не сжимает. И я просто профессионально сообщил им, что я трактор. Так что я сообщил им, что я получаю приглашение на вредные материалы, чтобы получить работу, которая заплатит мне больше денег. Работа, где я могу быть дома ежедневно, так что я могу быть с девушками каждую ночь.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Они не имели проблем с этим, они поняли. Но потом они попросили меня подождать. Несколько дней до недели спустя, они сказали, что может быть значительный рост, потому что они провели исследование в нашем районе и обнаружили, что их зарплата довольно низкая. Так что это было около четырех месяцев назад, и я полноценно обращался к ним.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
И у них до сих пор нет ни одного возраста, и каждый раз, когда я спрашиваю об этом, они просто говорят, что это нужно подключиться к корпоративу, и они говорят, что корпоратив не дал им ответа до сих пор.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Я делаю это сейчас за год.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Ну, я сделал, вы должны получать, например, фигурку и все это через, например, федеральное правительство и все. Я сделал все это, я буквально просто должен идти в ДМВ и взять тест. Я взял тест дважды, но это очень тяжелый тест, и я пропустил его по четыре вопроса в прошлый раз. Так что я просто прошел тест, получил приглашение, и я могу идти на эти работы.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Я немного устраиваюсь, да, я не буду винить.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Хорошо. инструкция и умение выполнять мои цели в руководстве, руководстве и выполнении моего цели в службе, в том числе в помощи и безопасности. Так что для меня это много людей.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Это устраивает. Это много хорошего времени менеджмента.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Я дам тебе ее бесплатно. И с пенсионерской точки зрения. Отлично. Я дам тебе оба бесплатно сегодня. Кристиан, давайте подключимся к этому человеку.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Так что, какого рода деньги вы качаете? Так что, я зарабатываю 96 в год.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Так что, мне просто предложили другую работу, которая вызовет меня быть гибридом. три дня в офисе и два дня работая от дома, с основной зарплатой 100 тысяч, и с потенциалом, что вы получите 20% бонус от моей основной зарплаты.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
I don't know if technically I can dip into that.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Ну, потому что я, технически говоря, бы делала меньше. Я думаю, что сейчас мой муж и я собираемся домой около 12 месяцев. И если бы я взяла это, мы бы привезли около 97. Почему бы нет меньше? Я думаю, что это не включает бонусы. Да, точно.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Да, и профессионально я думаю, что работа, которую мне предоставила эта позиция, будет для меня степенью профессионально. Круто! Но я не знаю, я просто немного нервничаю. Так это «нет»? Да. Мелани, давайте я задам тебе настоящую вопрос, и ты был отличным спортсменом, потому что Рачель думает, что я глупый, а я не. Я не обвиняю тебя, я просто пытаюсь тебя обучить.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
But it seems like we are hemorrhaging money through our miscellaneous budget item and our food item.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
You know, we've got one car loan.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
We've got about $12,000 left on that.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
У нас есть медицинская вреда. У нас был ребенок в этом году, поэтому у нас около $6000. И еще у нас остались студенческие налоги, которые стоят около $4500. И еще бюджет, у которого осталось около $200,000. Так что в целом вреда около $222,000. Мы делаем $185,000-$190,000. И в конце месяца у нас просто ничего осталось. Я просто хотел бы получить информацию о том,
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Что бы семьи зарабатывали в месяц, может быть, в бюджете, но мы просто зарабатываем то, что мы зарабатываем. И, вы знаете, мы выросли в зарплатах за последние пять лет огромное количество, мы увеличили то, что мы делаем, но мы все еще зарабатываем все, что делаем. И поэтому я не могу понять, как выйти из этого шкафа.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Я работаю в аккаунте, что довольно иронично, но я не хороший в аккаунте за свои деньги. Но, вы знаете, мы создали бюджет для еды, по-моему, от 1500 до 2000 в месяц, а потом ты сидишь там и говоришь, что мы просто потратили 3000 долларов на еду, и ты сидишь там и говоришь, как мы это делаем? Ну, как Георгий бы хотел не слышать, мы едим все время. Да, это все, это все.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Не очень долго. Я думаю, что это больше для того, чтобы снижать деньги для моего мужа и меня. Мы были в «Бабий степ 2».
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Я имею в виду, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да, да.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
У нас есть больше в бюджете. Но, понимаете, мы просто, когда мы до конца месяца начинаем делать дополнительные налоги, они не есть. И это просто супер frustrantно.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Вы знаете, у нас есть три из них для Салли Мэй, но они составляют около 4500 баксов.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
И это плохое дело. Все знают, что они недостатки, поэтому мы даже не платили за них. Мы просто сжимали их в машину. И я знаю, что это не то, что «Бэйби-степ-2» является для этой «Газеллы» интенсивности.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Да, спасибо за звонок. Итак, Моя жена и я уже готовы уходить из нашего дома. У нас есть маленькая дочь, и мы продолжаем развиваться. Мы рассматриваем наши варианты, и потому что мои родители очень добры, и мы очень благословлены, они сказали нам неделю назад, что они собираются дать их детям первое имущество, чтобы они могли посмотреть, как они их зарабатывают.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
И имущество составляет около 300 тысяч долларов. Вау! Да. Это невероятно. И это открывает для нас много вариантов.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Но у нас тоже есть чувство, что мы не имеем никакого вреда с нашим следующим домом.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Как много? 1350, это то, что будет заработать.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Ну, я хотел бы сказать спасибо, в первую очередь, я начал слушать вас около шести месяцев назад, и это действительно сделал импакт. Кен, я просто начал бенжинировать, пытаюсь менять карьеру скоро, но это не в связи с моими вопросами. Я только что закончил заплатить все мои деньги прошлой недели. Вау! Поздравляю!
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Сколько ты заплатил? Я бы сказал, что около 20 тысяч в 6 месяцев.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Но сейчас это может быть очень мало. Я в особой ситуации, когда у меня нет зарплаты, поэтому я так быстро заплатил все. Но зарплата в этом районе 20 тысяч будет хорошим.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
О, хорошо. Это то, что мы рекомендуем. Ага. И куда это пойдет, если я буду фокусироваться на получении этого бюджетного фонда, прежде чем зарабатывать $3,000?
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Как долго вы с ней встречались? Это идеально. Я был с ней два с половиной года. Мы действительно жили вместе, и ее родственники, которые не знали ничего о Рамзи, жили с нами. О, боже, это был полный шоколад. Это был полный шоколад. Что это значит? Они не получили денег. Один из них действительно должен быть в больнице. И мы не сможем ее удовлетворить.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Это довольно тяжелая задача. Да, это пакетное дело. Она из Гуам. Это просто их культура.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Я точно низкий уровень. Да? Она хочет какую-то церемонию. Окей. Я никогда не был женат. Она была. Окей. Так что церемония важна, но она очень-очень дорогая.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Я живу с криповым расстройством для какого-либо времени. Как я могу остановить это от постоянно появляться в разных сферах своей жизни?
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Я даже не могу функционировать, потому что я просто плачу. Моя мама уехала, когда мне было четыре. Я чувствовала, как будто у меня не было семьи.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Он меня очень тренирует.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Страшен потерять Павла. Страшен делать неправильное дело. Страшен не быть достаточно.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Как я могу избавиться от этой отношения? Потому что я чувствую себя, как будто она ведет шоу.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Я была... Я была обнажена. Обнажена, да.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Мы любим тебя, Мелоди. Я люблю тебя. И я просто хотела убедиться, что я не... Ты не. Я не буду стрелять себе в ногу с $3,000, что я буду делать. Но ты сказала, что ты не включишь бонус в этом упражнении.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
But in terms of finances, I'm just having a hard time dealing with that.
The Ramsey Show
Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities
Сейчас я работаю на двух полночасовых дистанционных работах. Это было здорово для моей семьи. У меня дети в школе и так далее. Я счастлива, что нашла два дистанционных работа. Подождите секунду.
The Ramsey Show
When Are You Going To Clean Up Your Financial Mess?
Yeah, so my wife and I, we're hoping to gain perspective around our financial situation and whether it's reasonable for us to start thinking about scaling back from, you know, a traditional 9 to 5 situation.
The Ramsey Show
When Are You Going To Clean Up Your Financial Mess?
It's around $2.8 million. Way to go.
The Ramsey Show
When Are You Going To Clean Up Your Financial Mess?
I hope you're not going to tell me to sit on your butt. Yeah, you know, do nothing. Yeah, I mean, we've been, you know, we've put off traveling. We've been together for about eight years, and, you know, that's something that we wanted to do. And so I know that you can travel and still work and stuff, and we would still want to work and earn an income.
The Ramsey Show
When Are You Going To Clean Up Your Financial Mess?
Yeah, so she does hair, kind of like hair and makeup stuff, and then I do online stuff, like e-commerce stuff.
The Ramsey Show
When Are You Going To Clean Up Your Financial Mess?
You work for somebody else. I do, yeah. I work for a company, so I'm employed. Oh, I misunderstood.
The Ramsey Show
When Are You Going To Clean Up Your Financial Mess?
So she does a chair rental, but she's still a regular. Yeah, she's a regular client, so she services.
The Ramsey Show
When Are You Going To Clean Up Your Financial Mess?
Yep. And then there was some liquidation of some stocks and that sort of stuff. Is your house... It's broken up between... I'm sorry?
The Ramsey Show
When Are You Going To Clean Up Your Financial Mess?
No, so we actually rent, funny enough, but the 2.8 is broken down between – there's about 1.8 in cash that sits in, like, CDs and high-interest savings accounts. Why? And then there's about a million in – What do you have 1.8 in high-yield savings? I don't know.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
Yes, I have. George, sketchy and never trust them.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
Yeah, they do. Delete Me actually goes in and removes your information from data broker websites. And it is an incredible service that everyone needs.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
That's right. And then once they remove your information, then they're going to send you a detailed report telling you where they found your information, when they removed it, how many hours they've saved you. I mean, it is incredible. So detailed and it's beautiful.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
Absolutely amazing. And Winston and I now get fewer texts, weird emails, spam calls, all of it.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
Again, that's joindeleteeme.com slash Ramsey. Make sure to check it out, you guys.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
Oh, hey, I have a problem. I can't get rid of my Fidelity Rewards credit card. And basically what it does is it takes 2% of all my purchases and puts it in my brokerage account. And I cannot cut that thing up with all the reward points I get.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
Well, actually, well, I run it through all my business expenses. So I have two. I basically have one for my personal and business. But, I mean, I have about, on average, a little bit more, a little bit less, a million charges a year. So I get about $20,000, $22,000 a year free. Okay. 2% back. And then that goes into the brokerage account. And, you know, I buy...
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
index funds, um, you know, ETS, uh, and I mean, and I've been doing it for 20 years. Uh, the, uh, uh, the first one I got that card is 1%. Now they jumped up 2%. Uh, and it's just, why do you want to cut it up? Well, I don't, I mean, I follow everything that, that, you know, Dave Ramsey steps, you know, has about no debt. I don't have any debt. Um, you know, um, And I just can't.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
So I know you guys don't typically recommend having credit cards, but I can't give that one up. This will be the only call you ever call that will say he got the best of the credit card companies.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
I have, but I've just gotten fell in love with that one Fidelity Rewards card. And it goes straight to the brokerage account. I don't want airlines. I don't want cash back. I want it to grow. And what do you make a year? Well, after I pay the alimony and child support, it depends on year to year, about $150,000 to $160,000. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
Probably $3.2 million, $3.1 million. Way to go.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
Wow, what kind of business are you running? I design and sell drive-on docks for jet skis and boats. I have been noticing the last few years I get a lot of pushback from my vendors about the credit card. But I'll say, hey, hit me up with the... I try to negotiate. A lot of times they'll give me 2% back if I pay in 10.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
So if I have a 3% credit card, if they charge me 3%, if I pay in 10 with the credit card, they'll give me 2% back. So basically I'm paying 1%. But the best thing about those reward cards is they're not really taxed. I mean, the money you get from them. Not now. So it's tax-free. But, I mean, again, the net worth I have, I'm pretty – I'm more of a saver than spender.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
So it's just, it's more habit than anything else. Um, you know, if I go on cruise, of course I'm going to get the cheapest room or I never fly first class. I mean, I'm still driving a 10 year old SUV. Um, and you know, These are my kids. They're older now. You need to get a new car. It's like, no, why? It still runs. Well, that's how you build your wealth.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
Well, where they're coming from is basically from – I mean honestly all from my business perspective.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
I understand. I completely understand.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
Yes, I just want to know y'all's opinion. Is it morally wrong for me to sell my wife's wedding set? She's been passed three and a half years, and I was going to start cleaning out the house for the first time.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
Well, no, it's not really that. It's just kind of the house is not paid for, and I had it appraised, the ring appraised at $6,200. And I thought that would go a good ways towards paying off the house. And we didn't have any children together. And she's not really close, you know, no close to any girls in my family.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
OK, I appreciate y'all taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
Okay, well, it kind of does make me feel bad to think about it being gone.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
I got laid off about two years ago, so I'm not working now enough. And I haven't taken my Social Security yet because I was letting it build up as much as it could because it goes up 8% a year. How are you living? Well, I get a survivor's benefit from my wife's passing.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
No, I take $1,700 out of my retirement fund.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
There's $65,000 left on the mortgage, and I have about $300,000 in total, $50,000, everything. Every penny I have, in other words.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
No, I'm done. I worked at... Well, that's another story. I worked a 60-, 70-hour-a-week job my whole life.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
It runs out when I take mine. I haven't taken my Social Security yet. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
It'll be more. Okay. January 1st, mine should be $4,000 a month.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
Hey, you guys, health insurance costs are only moving one way and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer and it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the bureaucracy. So if you feel like the system is working against you, try a biblically based alternative to health insurance. Christian Healthcare Ministries.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
CHM is a health cost-sharing ministry that's helped hundreds of thousands of families like yours take care of over $11 billion in medical bills since 1981. CHM has also helped them stay true to their values and avoid miles of red tape. And CHM's support goes far beyond meeting financial needs. They also help meet spiritual needs.
The Ramsey Show
Everyone Makes Financial Mistakes – Don’t Let Yours Define You
Members become part of a family who will pray with them and for them when they experience a medical event. So listen, y'all, there's a better way to take care of healthcare costs. CHM programs start as low as $98 a month. So learn more today and join at chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
Hi, thank you so much for speaking with me.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
Well, my husband and I have a home that his parents are about to move into in a few months, and we want some advice as to whether it's better for them to just be deeded the house, or if we do have them just pay us the mortgage amount, what should we put in a contract just to keep our family relationship healthy but keep everything legal and just secure?
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
We are... We're kind of doing a house shift. His sister's coming from a very expensive part of Washington, DC, and she will move into the parent's home and be deeded their house. And the parents will move into our smaller home and downsize.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
Um, and all of the mortgages are so cheap because the homes are purchased years ago compared to refinancing and adding about a hundred to a thousand dollars, well, hundreds or thousands of dollars more.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
My husband and I have two homes. When we got married, we both bought a house into the marriage. So this would be the house that we've just had renters in.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
Okay, I'm writing everything down.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
That's the issue. Where we are, the home would go for $380,000, and we only owe $190,000. But I am aware that if they purchased it at the market value right now, we have a, I think it's an $1,100 mortgage on that house, and it probably knocked them all the way up to $1,800, if not more. Yeah, huh? And you're saying that's too much?
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
Oh, they can. I guess we just want to be a blessing to family and not make anybody have to pay $800,000 plus more a month. if we already have the homes in our name.
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
Would it be better then just to have the contract for a renter?
The Ramsey Show
Attack Your Debt Instead of Letting It Attack You
Right. We wouldn't do it for free. They would cover what we would owe monthly. We just want to make sure there's no legal repercussions, and we definitely don't want to do a handshake deal. We want to have a contract.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
So, me and my wife took your FPU class maybe about a year and a half, two years ago, and I thought we'd been doing good, but she keeps overdrafting her bank account, and it started off 50, maybe a hundred bucks here and there. But in the past month, she overdrafted it $700 twice. And I'm not sure what to do anymore. When you call her out on it, what does she say?
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
Uh, well, I asked her about it and everything. She told me she don't know what she spent the money on. And she told me that it shouldn't matter what she spent it on either.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
Okay. We can see each other's checking accounts and bank accounts and all that.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
I have no idea because she pulled the money out in cash when she did it.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
I mean, she's been addicted to alcohol, but she got over that. So as far as I know, nothing. Maybe about a year, year and a half ago, she got over that.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
I'm honestly not sure. I know we have a budget.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
Yeah, yeah. She did change her passcode on her phone. I noticed that. Okay. Yeah. Last night. I had mentioned I needed to look at some pictures so I can put some money in the budget. And she grabbed her phone real quick and said, give me a minute.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
So I have a question, kind of more of a moral question. My stepmom, she passed away in February. I'm sorry. Thank you. I was her life insurance beneficiary. So we had had a conversation in November about it, so I was expecting to be a beneficiary, but the problem now is that... Now, my stepdad, technically, he was my stepdad, married to my mom for a couple years.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
My stepmom is technically his ex-wife. But I just, you know, she came into my life at the same time. And he was expecting to get this money. From his divorced wife's death? I'm sorry, what?
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
Yes. That's weird. It's the funny part about it. And they had been married for 20 plus years. She basically took care of everything for him. He never paid a bill. He never.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
Oh, I don't even think they were legally married. But she had helped raise his kids.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
Probably 2012, 2013. Okay, so 15 years they've been apart, give or take.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
So the problem is now is that his health had been declining the last about five years, and so he was living with her. He moved back in with her. And she was essentially taking care of everything for him, food, doctor's appointments, all that.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
She left me with $419,000. And she did actually end up having him be the beneficiary of her 401K, which turned out to be about $135,000. Okay, so this guy's, what, 50 or 65, 60 years old?
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
Where's your dad? I call her affectionately my stepmom, but she really was just always in his life even when he married my mom for a couple years. So he really was my stepdad and still is, but I more affectionately call her my stepmom. God, this is so confusing.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
No. My mom and my technical stepdad, they had been separated now for a good couple years. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
Well, he was my stepdad. He was married to my mom for a couple of years, but they've been divorced for a while, and he essentially... So was he married to your mom before or after this, between this lady, I bet?
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
Oh, that was probably 2013, I'd say. It's been a while.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
No, just my stepdad and my mom. Their marriage was only a couple years, pretty short.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
My stepdad was with his ex-wife, who I call my stepmom.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
That's what I'm struggling with. You don't need to struggle.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
No, no. Good. Me and my husband are in our own place. Oh, good. You have a life.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Yes, I started making $10,000 to save program, but it seems like they're changing that.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
I was paying about like $100 a month on it, but then I had stopped paying.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
They put it, I forgot the term, they had put it on... Like something they said, like, you don't have to pay at the moment because I guess they were figuring out everything as things were changing.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Here's the kicker. I'm not supposed to know. There is no one who is supposed to know. I found out Let me rephrase that. My son found out by accident. So I'm really not upset. I'm glad it's staying in the family. I'm upset because of the lack of conversation, that she didn't trust me enough to have a conversation with her.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
That's what I've been doing. With the credit cards, I've paid one off already.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
I just have one credit card left, and there's $1,400 left to pay on it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
No, that's it. And then the next thing I would have to tackle is just paying off the student loans. That's the only credit card I have left. I don't have any.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Because I had talked with another financial advisor.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Yeah, I said it would be best to consolidate it all together instead of doing a bunch of different stuff.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Well, they have the money to fund it. Now, my financial situation is different from my sister's. They have the money to take care of it, whereas my financial situation is a little bit different. So I completely understand, and I am not resentful of them for their wealth. I'm not resentful of my mother for hers. I'm very glad that they're going to take care of it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
I'm just upset that she didn't trust me enough to have a conversation. I don't ask her for money. I don't live with her. I don't depend on her.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
I have a question, and I've got the perfect people for this. What is the long-term effect of pausing retirement payoff debt?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Right, and I mean, we're fairly young, so I'm 31 and my husband's 30, so we still have a long way to go before we even retire.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
I know both. So we have $20,000 in my car. We've got $32,000 in my husband's truck. I know they weren't the smartest purchases, but we're fixing it now. I do have $10,000 in student loans, but my grandmother is actually going to pay that off this week for me. So it was a huge gift. Yeah, I know. I'm so grateful.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
So that is something we talked about. When I looked at the different debt snowballs, just to look at all of our options, we're newer to Ramsey. Awesome. If we pause my retirement and my husband's retirement, that opens up another $1,000 in our debt snowball, which is already at... which is already at $1,550. So really that snowball is $2,550. My car would be paid off November of 2025.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
The truck would be paid off by August of 2026, worst case scenario.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
So mine is about eight. My husband's is about It's either six or eight. I can't remember, but I'm not vested. I wouldn't be vested until after we paid off both of the cars anyway.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
My husband's vested up to about 4%.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Well, I know why she didn't, but she doesn't approve that I'm divorced. She does not approve of it at all.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Hi, Dr. John and Mr. George. How are you guys today?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Yes. To keep it quick, I am stuck in an auto loan that I'm trying to get rid of. I'm 25 years old. I really want to be debt-free in the next couple of years, and I just don't know what to do. We'll get to that. I have no financial literacy, no financial strong background.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
I was silly for getting involved with this car now that I found you guys a few months ago, and now I realize how silly I've been with my money, and I just want to be better. I really just want to be better.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
So I actually have two auto loans. One was repossessed, and that was $24,800. I'm sorry, $24,800, yes. And then the one that I currently have on my credit report, it says $24,102. But on the actual statement balance in my account, it says $22,142 that I still owe. I don't know the difference in that.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Same reason. They still have dinner with my ex-husband almost every other week.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Okay. We can do this. How much do you make? Last year, based off the taxes, I made $31,000. I do have another job, and so I calculated that I'd make about $52,000 if I remain how I am this coming year.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
I have an associate's in criminal justice technology, and I'm currently pursuing a bachelor's in forensic psychology, and I'll graduate next spring.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
So my main goal is to... My main goal is to be a youth advocate. So right now I just applied for a state position to be a juvenile officer slash counselor. I'll come in making about 40 based off of my current experience in education. When I graduate, that bumps me up to closer to the 50,000 range.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Yes, yes, yes. You know that good old Catholicism, you know, an annulment. When I got divorced, I didn't even care about an annulment. My ex-husband went for the annulment. And let's just say the tribunal, if you've ever been through an annulment or know anything about it, it's not fun. It's not pretty.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Yes, but I do have to cut back necessarily on the hours given that I do do work in my ministry. And so what I'm finding is that I'm a little too busy for God, and I really want Him to be my focus, but I also just want to be debt-free, so I don't know how the balance works with that.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Okay. So I've been listening to you guys for a few months, so I try to do the steps, like Googling, like Kelly Blue Book. And so my car is worth $8,400. And when I called my bank, so I just got my tax refund, and I used a lump sum of that to catch up on my payments. And when I looked at my statement, I noticed that the money didn't move.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
So I called them personally, and they said, well, every day that you're late, it's interest added, and my interest is already 23%. Oh, my goodness.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
It was originally, I believe, $24,000. Okay. And you're telling me the car is only worth $8,000 now? Yes, sir.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Well, the repo, I didn't have anything. I kind of just went in, and my brother helped me co-sign, and we just got that car straight out from the beginning. So the repossession had nothing to do with this car, per se. I mean, it hurt my credit, meaning my brother, but...
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
I have no idea. I put in my VIN number direct so that way they can go pull up the whole entire history.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Oh, no. It wasn't a buy here, pay here kind of situation. It was like a regular car dealership, but they help people that aren't financially there.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Yes, sir, and I tried to contact the company, but they continued to send me to another line that just cuts out, and so I tried to talk to management and all that, but no one gave me a direct answer of how I can start doing monthly pay so I can get that down or get that out, so I don't even know how to do that.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
No, sir. I did get a letter in the mail saying that they did sell it. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
I think it was still like $20,000 because it was a total vehicle that they repossessed. So it wasn't that much of a difference. But on my credit report, it still shows a full $24,000 loan.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
You know, I thought I was over because it was 10 years ago. I mean, the divorce was 10 years ago and it wasn't pretty. I mean, he left, I won't even go into it, but it was just a nasty.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
No, I just needed to know that I'm not... You're not crazy.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
And I'm not being gaslighted. It's not my own mind gaslighting me that I did something wrong here.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Right. I mean, my sisters, I can understand. We've never had the best relationship, so I understand where my sisters took a step back. I totally understand that.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Hi. Um, I had a question regarding insurance. Um, so my husband and I, we canceled our IUL plans and we're applying to get term life insurance. Um, but we're wondering if you folks have, or like recommend some type of insurance that covers like if we get sick and we're unable to work, um, Or is that what disability is?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Well, you know, I'm not upset for me. Yes, you are.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
We're still in baby step. Yeah, we're still trying to get out of debt.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Well, we have about $200,000 in debt. So we're making our way.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Yeah, I would focus on... We're new to this, so we're, you know...
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
And be okay. I'm upset for my daughter because she loves this property. She loves this land. Is she not allowed to go on it? She is. In fact, she's living with my parents. Great. When my daughter and I had an argument, my parents took her in.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
So my policy was around $400, and then my husband was around $300.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Oh, I couldn't tell you. I know like if like the death or the death benefit or whatever was like a million dollars for mine and then 500.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Oh, I couldn't tell you that. I don't know.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
But it was kind of something that just like is in the background, you know, like we just pay it every month and, you know, just don't worry about it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Well, I'm glad you guys are getting term life.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
No, but I know to go through Zander.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Hi, John and George. It's crazy. It's so surreal to be talking to you right now.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Everyone says they're so nervous. I feel it now.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Okay. So my question is, will a basic will through mama bear legal forms protect our children's custody and inheritance, and the reason why I ask this is because we would like separate people for custody and handling their inheritance.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Oh, yeah, for sure. I was already on the website shopping around, seeing what my options were.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
And since they chose not to, I just, I ride then, like, say nothing to them.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Hello. Hey. I could cry right now.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Hi, thanks for taking my call. Mine is not so much a money problem. My parents sold our family farm to my two oldest sisters without telling me, without telling anybody, without a conversation. I found out accidentally. I'm just wondering how do I deal with the lack of respect?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Oh my goodness. Um, so, um, long story short, um, try to make this as quick as possible and our time is limited. But having said that, um, I'm on my third marriage, been together, been married for almost 10 years. My husband's second marriage, we both got burned really bad financially. Really, really bad. Having said that, so when we got married, we had a financial conversation.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
What does your financial picture look like personally? What does mine look like? We had that conversation. Everything was great. You know, what are we going to do? What does this look like, you know, as we're progressing in our relationship? Um, moving forward, having said that, you know, we opened a joint checking account of course, and then he contributes money to it. I contribute money to it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
You know, we pay all of our household expenses out of that. He has his personal accounts and then I have my personal accounts. Um, I'm following the baby steps. I've got 2000 in savings right now. Um, my vehicle be paid off this year. Um, And then I am attacking some credit cards that I've got personally, which is great. I feel really good about this.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Correct. And I would say, I... I'm going to say it's my mother. It's not my father. I think he would have had that hard conversation because he's not afraid to. Is he still alive? Oh, yeah. He's very much on the line.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
I've been putting in, I don't know, the last two months, 70 to 80 hours a week to make sure I'm making enough money to take care of these things.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Sounds like you're doing... Well, yeah, my question is that I have had... You know, my husband keeps and he makes probably 15, $20,000 more a year than I do. And he's got a lot less bills and he's constantly screaming about money. Yeah. And I'm asking him, what is the problem? What is the problem? I don't understand why you're so upset all the time about money. Um,
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
After we got married, I had L-tissues. I'm a diabetic. My father died right before we got married, and he had a bunch of insulin left over, which is the exact same insulin that I took, so I didn't have to buy insulin for a while. I didn't have health insurance, so it cost me about $800 a month for insulin.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
No, but it was always in my mother's name. It was never even when she came into it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
He told me, I'm sorry. No, you're okay.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
He told me after we got married, because... Where I worked, I didn't have health insurance, and I couldn't afford it at that time. I mean, it was outrageous, but anyway, and he told me, I said, thank you so much. Thank you so much for everything you're doing, and
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Well, no, that's the thing is, you know, I just don't really know. But I said, thank you so much. Now I've got insurance and I won't have to pay $800,000 a month for my insulin. Because now he's got insurance and he said, well, listen, don't you go crazy going to the doctor because I can't afford that. And women are elephants, and we hold those things, you know.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
But still, you know, it hurt terribly. And I said, well, guess what? And I started crying. I said, you know what? You're not going to have to pay for a dime.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Right. Yeah. He would have had to sign the papers.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Hi, good afternoon. I was just calling because I've come to the realization that I've made a lot of really bad financial decisions. For a while, I was blaming my parents and being upset about it, but I feel like I should also take accountability.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Yes, so I just, I wanted to get some advice because I'm in a lot of debt and I've been working on paying them off, but I still feel like I'm kind of drowning and my mom's currently asking me to help buy a house and I don't know. That's a hard no.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
So I'm in about $230,000 worth of debt spends. That's student loans and then some credit card debts. I did pay off one credit card recently and I closed the account. I got that advice from your show. Now I'm just working on finishing paying off the other one.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
No, but that is what my dad wanted me to become. So he talked me into taking out the loans and staying in school.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
The farm has been in my family since 1852. It is totally my mother's farm. I understand that. It is her choice to do with what she wants. I don't have a problem with that. I'm happy it's staying in the family.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Yes, I got two degrees. I got an undergrad in public health, and then I got a master's in health administration.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
I'm currently working as a care coordinator. I make about $54,000 a year.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Probably like around $75,000 to $80,000 a year.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
But the student loans are with the government.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
And all the loans are in your name, right? half of it is in my name and the other half is in my mom's name.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
She wants me to put my name down for it because I have pretty good credit. No.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
I have a master's in health administration. So I'm looking to go into like administration and hospital management.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Well, I'm currently renting out a bedroom and paying monthly rent.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Why? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I didn't even have to say anything.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
Because I have a chronic illness, so I originally did want to move out when I started college and go to a different state. But my mother didn't think that was a good idea because she was worried.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
No, I'm still taking care of myself pretty well now. I take care of myself, all of my medical stuff. I make my own appointments, go to them. I'm pretty independent now.
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
I'm doing better than I deserve.
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
Well, my dad passed away a few years ago, and he left us a very sizable estate to my brother and I. What is a sizable estate?
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
My brother and I probably ended up with three to four million each. That's sizable. Okay. I'll agree with you on that. And he taught me to be debt-free.
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
at a young age so i've you know i've built up my own uh and my own retirement up to about seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars anyway so it wasn't that i needed the inheritance but you you were already a millionaire i was working on it yeah i mean you had other savings on top of the 750 so you were there you had a house probably i've had a very blessed life yeah good for you so
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
The conundrum that I have is that he was married a second time, so I have step-siblings, and one of the steps had mentioned that I should share because he left it to my brother and I and not the other steps.
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
No, he said that he didn't want to get married until everybody was out of the house. They dated for a considerable amount of time before that.
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
Bye, Felicia. Well, this step doesn't have a good relationship with her father, and she did kind of look at him for advice and so forth. Yeah, well, that's nice. And he was good to their kids, too. I bet he was. To the steps.
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
No, she, it was, uh, I'm having problem. My brother has passed away since then and he was in the middle of a divorce. So I'm having problems with his wife that was divorcing my brother. And I mentioned that to her. And during that conversation, she got upset because of the numbers involved. And she started crying and saying, I can't talk with you about this. And I just really, um,
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
I just don't understand why we can't all just share. Because we're not communists? but what do you say to that?
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
Well, not that I did do something, but that I'm in a better situation than she is. It just, you know, she's making, you didn't harm her in that process.
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
Yeah. No, they, their father's still alive.
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
All right. Well, I appreciate the vote of confidence that I was doing the right thing.
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
Um, some of them were, there were just a couple of things, but my brother and I got that worked out.
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
Because I'm his trustee. Oh, geez.
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
Well, she sidestepped that and got the, uh, I forget what it's called when you, when you're the, uh, um, but she became in, in, in lack of terms, the executor because the will hadn't been put in place. Um, so she's kind of in charge of the estate, but I'm in charge of the trust.
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
Hey guys. Um, so the situation is we're, uh, my wife and I are 67 and we've got 2.8 million in four different mutual funds free. Thank you. Thank you. We're debt free and we got an offer. We couldn't refuse on our business. We closed December 11th. We get five 75 cash and we hold a note for five years for 300.
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
So that brings me to the question because I've got a daughter that lives in Austin, Texas and she and her husband have been married for 20 years and we have a beautiful grandchild. Um, and uh, they're saving for a house. They're also debt free. They're doing everything right. They're both teachers and um, they want to get a house and they're saving like crazy. Um,
The Ramsey Show
Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead
Two rounds of IVF to get Julia here pretty much wiped out their savings. And they're trying to come back for that. And I'm thinking, you know, December 11th, I collect $575,000. I could probably, you know, give them the money for a pretty nice house in Austin with that $575,000. And so that's one option. Do it. Option two would be really strong. Just do it. Yeah, I like it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
Hey, so I have a question. I have a wedding coming up, kind of doubles as a vacation, and it's for my brother, and the whole family's going to be there. And I have the means to kind of make the experience a little better by spending a couple extra bucks if I choose to.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
But I'm not sure if I should do that, if I should maybe do it on a budget or maximize this hopefully one-time experience for my brother.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
My brother's getting married, but my whole family's going to be there. It's kind of a destination thing, and, you know, the wedding's one day, but we're all going to be there for probably about 10.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
Yeah, and unfortunately, my siblings aren't as, you know, financially responsible or savvy as me.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
Well, so that's the thing. I would probably spend an additional like thousand bucks, uh, to do the things that we were interested in doing, but that's, that's probably the most it would get up to.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
Uh, no, I, I'm not in debt.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
Uh, in savings, I got about 15 grand and then my Roth and 401k probably combined to be about 55, 60.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
Base, I make 82, and then I can bonus up to 50% of that. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
I can. I think the bigger issue for me is I kind of feel some resentment towards my siblings for not being able to participate as much as I can. They didn't do anything to you. No, I know. I know. I know.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
Yeah, I think it's because, um, let me ask you this.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
Yeah, that's a good question. And I don't know if it's necessarily me keeping score as much as it is watching them live their lives and doing things that have led to them not being able to be involved financially in this situation. But here's the thing.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
Yeah, totally. So let me backtrack a little bit. The initial thing was the gift, the wedding gift. So my older brother was not going to do a photographer, and I said, that seems ridiculous. Like, why don't we band together as a family, and we pitch in to purchase a photographer?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
You know, everyone kind of seemed on board, and then about a week ago or two weeks ago, when I went to go book a photographer, pretty last minute, I know, it sounded like everyone else kind of wasn't able to do that. So I decided just to do it anyways and told them if they could pitch in, great, but if not...
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
Um, it is what it is, but I, I, I guess I shouldn't have said that necessarily if I didn't feel that way. Right.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Self-Limitations Keep You From Building Wealth
But yeah, I know it's definitely a me problem, but, uh, I guess, I don't know. I'm just trying to like help them get to a point where they can do these types of things.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
No. No, so we've been in business.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Well, so we have business debt because we purchased, I made some, you know, terrible financial decisions as far as buying a truck at the wrong time, purchasing a newer truck instead of an older truck. Um, and one of the, one of the biggest, I'm sorry.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
One of the biggest debts is in February I had to spend 30,000 on a pickup truck. Um, because in February I had an accident. and I had to clean snow, and I had no choice but to purchase another truck to complete the snow for the commercial properties.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
I have insurance. They fixed my other truck, but now I have two trucks when I didn't even budget for that or plan for that.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Yeah, right now I'm done. Right now I try to make the lowest amount of expenses. For instance, I don't even go out and do that anymore. Okay, let's go back to the business.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
We do landscaping and construction.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
I have six. I have about another 30.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
So I have, it's a couple of credit cards. I have one credit card at $16,000.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
And then I have another credit card that is $6,000. And then I have another one that's about $8,000.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
So the other $35,000 is I have, the first truck I have, I still owe $15,000 on that. Okay. Okay. And then I owe my dad $12,500. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
My net profit was around $40,000.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
So right now we're sitting just at $2 million. What's interesting about it is we hit our first million just before we turned 40. And then seven years later, we just turned 47. And like you say, it doubles every seven years. We just hit $2 million. Wow.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Yeah, so we recently hit a million dollars in our retirement, thanks to the guidance of your SmartVestor pros. So a big shout out to Chris and Tyler out there. It was awesome. When we saw that seven figures on there, I'll tell you, that was so inspiring and exciting. That's sweet.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
In Connecticut, but it's... Worse. I live in their city.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
We also have about $750,000 in our home equity, another $150,000 in our college savings, and then the remaining hundreds in cash and cars and things like that.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Well, interestingly enough, so my grandmother passed away about seven years ago, and she gave the grandkids just $1,000 with a message of saying, hey, live life, have great experiences. And today would have been her 106th birthday. So this is an experience that I'll never forget. Wow.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Yep, 99 and a half. She was the matriarch of our family. And my daughter is named after her. She's the fifth Adelaide, named after her grandmother. Adelaide the fifth.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
So our adult income, you know, range from 45K to 220 is about what we make right now. But I'd say probably since we started the baby step process, you know, 15 years ago, it's probably averaged about 160 to 170. What do y'all do? I am in medical device sales leadership and my wife is the COO of this household.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Yes. I graduated in three and a half years from Miami University in just business marketing.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
So I'm sure you can relate to this. I graduated with a 3.07. I was dying to get that 3.1. Look at you. But unfortunately, I fell a little short.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
So in Texas, you're required to have either a pickup or a Jeep. So I went with a 2018 Jeep Wrangler Sport.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Well, we just upgraded her car. She had been driving our last, the last thing we ever took debt out was in 2009 when we bought her a Traverse. But now living here in Texas, she wanted a convertible. So we upgraded to a 219 Buick Cascada convertible. Oh, that's fun.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Oh, it played everything. I mean, I tell all the people, because we do financial peace and lead that. We're leading a class right now. And I tell everyone, when you start, it's amazing. You immediately get a raise. The advice I give people all the time is dream big, but act small.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Um, so like, yeah, my wife and I, we always have these conversations about, you know, what we want our future to look like. Um, and it's just exciting to kind of see like, what goals are we going to have? What do we want to do? It keeps us motivated, but dreams, you know, without actions, just a wish.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
So, you know, if we, uh, if we want to do these small things, your future is determined based on these small little decisions every single day. And the budget, you know, keeps us on pace with what those small decisions are so that we can reach those goals.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
The business is growing. You know, last year in sales in 24, we did around $200,000. and 23 to 100. So it definitely is growing.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
How's it feel? Love it. It's so freeing. I mean, the journey, we're $2 million, but to be completely honest and stuff, it's not always a smooth ride, right? No. The last year, I mean, I've gone through a couple different layoffs in medical device. Sometimes you have that with startup companies or different things. There's been some layoffs. And through the entire time, like, We weren't stressed.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
We knew we had the emergency fund. We knew we had our budgeting. We knew we had all this stuff in there and we're just constantly at peace. you know, with where we're at today and where we're going to be tomorrow. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
jade washall ramsey personalities my co-host mike is in idaho hey mike welcome to the ramsey show oh how's it going guys better than we deserve what's up all right so um i think i accidentally started business and i need a little help here explain all right so um i'm a high school photography teacher and i teach yearbook and journalism and all that kind of stuff
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
I started taking senior photos and sports team photos and designing banners. And essentially, I started doing it simply to essentially pay for my classes. In Idaho, we really don't have a lot of money for things. And I wanted my students to actually, you know, have cameras to take a photography class, which I think is super helpful. Anyway, so... Yeah, you think? Yeah, right.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
So anyway, I've taken all that money and I just donate it to my classroom. I hire some of my students in order to get them experience. My problem, I suppose, is a good problem here, but word's really gotten out that I'm doing pretty well with this stuff. I'm starting to get booked up with a lot of different senior photo sessions. Great.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
A lot of different teams are contacting me to get their photos, and right now I'm looking at like $400 to $800 a month I'm bringing in for my program that I'm donating. Because I'm making actually a lot more money than I originally thought I was going to, I want to make sure I'm protecting myself, and I'm very ignorant when it comes to business.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
I still want to donate a lot of this money, but down the road, I would really like to maybe start compensating myself with all the hours that I put into this. Do I need to file for an LLC or I guess what are my next steps here?
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Again, I'm not sure yet. I'm not sure which route I want to take, but I suppose that would be my next step to decide. If I wanted to start compensating myself, what would be my next steps?
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
They're not going to get any money from me anyway. Exactly.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Yeah, so we all have our own accounts for each one of our programs here.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
And right now every single dime is going to it. So am I okay right now at least? You're fine. You're fine.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Well, again, we don't have a whole lot here.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Correct. Well, cameras break down and all that kind of stuff, and new equipment comes out, and they keep filling my classrooms full of more and more kids, and I need more resources, I guess.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Hi. How you doing, Dave? Great.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
So I'm 20. I rent right now, but I'm looking to buy a home. I only make $30,000, though. What's your advice on being so young and not making a lot of money trying to buy a house? I wouldn't buy a house.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
I feel like I'm bad at budgeting my money and like when it comes to like rent and all my bills and actually budgeting, I don't know where my money's going. Well, do you have debt? I learned about you in high school. Um, yes. I got $17,000 in a car. No, $16,000 in a car.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Hey, how are you? Pretty good.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
So I'm looking to get advice. I have a small business. I have about $95,000 in debt, um, in our business and we've made good money in sales, but every time I feel like I make money, all of my profit just goes to my credit cards and I never see anything. And it's just very frustrating cause I make two steps forward, one step back, if that makes sense.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Hey, Mr. Ramsey. Hey, Jay. Thank you for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Well, my fiance and I are getting married in October. Yay! Yes, it's exciting. So I've been using y'all's resources online, so I have a good picture of how to set the budget. But my question today is how do we approach and ask our parents how much, if any, they're willing to contribute to this wedding?
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Not specifically. Her parents, we kind of started the planning process. Both her and our parents were kind of like, don't assume like you're on your own.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Her parents offered to pay for her dress.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
And seemed like they wanted to help with the venue.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
My parents, they haven't told me specifically, you know, amounts or what specific expenses they would want to.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
I'm 23, and she is going to be 22 in about two weeks.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
So I'm trying to see what I can do to get my debt down. Um, I also have a small, Small debts in the personal, because I'm also looking, I want to buy a house next year as well. So that's what I need help with.
The Ramsey Show
Normal Is Comfortable, but Comfort Doesn’t Build Wealth
Honestly, I ran the numbers. We can cash flow this ourselves.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Um, well, I am in baby step two. I'm paying off. I have about $10,000 left. Um, and I'm looking to be engaged.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Thank you. I'm wondering what, what the best way is to go about setting up for a ring and whether or not I should pause my debt snowball or try to do them simultaneously.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
I make about $5,000 a month. After tax? Yeah, usually around $5,000. Yeah, after debt to take home.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Well, part of the good news is I have a family heirloom, so it wouldn't be much because I just want to change the band and maybe add something, but it shouldn't be much. I'm thinking about trying to set aside $5,000, but just to have extra in case because I really don't know how much it costs.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Yeah, I haven't gone in person to see what it costs to actually change that and get an hourly rate or an estimate at least.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Well, originally I had thought at the end of this year, because by then I'll have paid off all of my debt. Um, but being that it's, it's not necessarily a lot of debt and, um, you know, I I'd love to be engaged sooner if possible. Um, but. you know, I kind of just, I want to do it the right way.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
I want to do it smart so that I'm not, I'm not, I feel, I almost feel guilty bringing debt into the relationship, if that makes sense.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
No, she actually paid off all her student loans. Well, I shouldn't say no. She does have two credit cards, which usually she has around $1,000 altogether on those. I mean, we've talked about our finances a little bit, and she's really interested in trying to combine our finances and work towards being debt-free. But we're trying not to...
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
We're not combining finances before we're married because we have had family members who, who unfortunately have been divorced and we just want to make sure we do it correctly.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Okay, so just really quick. So when I turned 18, I got married to a man who's about 14 years older than me. We ended up getting a divorce. It was like a really controlling situation. But in the midst, I did get pregnant right as soon as I got married. So I have a baby now. She's going to be five months in May. And, um, so he doesn't help financially.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
I did stay home after I had the baby, but I was leaning on him financially. And even when we were together, I didn't go to school. Um, so the good part is I don't have any debt or anything, but the bad part is like, I don't have like a career path. Cause I went right into being like wife and mother and everything. Um, and now I just like need help with like, Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
So we got married and like my parents were not super happy with the idea of me getting married, not because they didn't want me getting married young.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
So we ended up, um, we ended up getting a divorce. So I'm staying at my parents now because we took the house.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Yeah, and he, it's okay. Actually, his family has been, not his family, his brother and his brother's wife have been great throughout this. They let me stay in their house for two weeks without, like, charging me anything. They were super helpful. When everything happened, they were like, listen, whatever you need, we're here for you.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Like, his brother will, his brother's wife will call me every day. His brother was always like, hey, if you need any help with the baby, like, we're here. Yeah, that's great.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Yeah. So thankfully I'm staying home with my mom. Like my parents are thankfully well off. So like it's a place that I can stay and I don't have to worry about like, well, what about the bills? What about, you know, my parents are like, okay with all that stuff. It's just like, I just don't know where to go from here. You know, it's not like I'm in any danger right now. I just don't know.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
I have no debt. If I have a lot on credit cards, it's like $40. I have no debt. I have money saved up. I just don't know what to do.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
She has to file for child support. So this is only, yeah, this has only been a month. I have to file still and file for divorce or child support. Yeah. File for divorce.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
All right. And yeah. So yeah, that's why I'm like, I feel like everything is.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Because he doesn't. He hasn't helped with the baby since she was born.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out like what I do without, like I'm trying not to depend on him at all.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
I actually worked as like a secretary for several construction businesses. I like doing that.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
So my question is, I'm wondering when to call it quits on a struggling business. Um, I've been helping my uncle with the family business, uh, doing masonry restoration, a construction company for about four and a half years now. And when we're working, we do great. We're efficient. We're ahead of schedule. We're, you know, um, under scope on material. We do great.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
And the clients are very happy, but that's when we have the leads. And often all of our profits go to chasing down more leads that then just kind of coast us to the next one or the next one. Feels like I'm a hamster on a wheel.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
We're 100% debt free. We're just, yeah, catching up month to month.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
We are just struggling with lead acquisition, I guess. Okay. We neither of us are really big experts in marketing specifically. So we've tried all sorts of avenues. And over the past five years, nothing really seems to produce continuous leads.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Um, we've tried reaching out. Um, but we, the type of work that we do specifically restoration work is very like residential focused. Um, so homeowners and like current existing homeowners that need to fix their house or superintendents and, um, occasionally general contractors that do restoration work.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
And we've done a lot of business and business cold calling, cold emailing, you know, uh, even going up to businesses and, um, Trying to build those relationships, but it feels like we have a curse on us that nothing is working out.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
My uncle has been doing it for 25. Okay. 25 years.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
How has he survived it? He was on the wheel long before I was. So I came on with some experience working with a general contractor before, helping him with his estimating payroll and, you know, kind of construction bookkeeping. And I thought I could help him. And while I have been able to increase our gross profits, the lead generation part just still isn't happening.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
I've been, I've been doing a lot of entrepreneurial stuff, you know, since high school. And I do enjoy taking part of building a business, but it is a bit exhausting. Me and my wife are on baby step three. We have a four month old and I'm starting to think about our personal financial future and how much longer can I go on?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Yeah, we tried that about we started about six months ago and we just had to let him go because it was not working.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
We weren't getting the leads we needed. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
I'm looking for some help in advising my daughter and son-in-law. Specifically, should they take their sizable savings and use it to pay off their sizable debt or not?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Um, I think we're pretty open in our family with money. This is just a, uh, a little bit of a, they were recently married.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
They're in their mid twenties and they're good young adults and thoughtful with their money.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
It did come up in conversations with us. It was, you know, what should they do? She came at the time of their wedding. She had about $100,000 in savings with no debt. Her husband had about $10,000 in savings and about $100,000 in student loan debt. No other debt. So as a young married couple put them together, they've got about $110,000 in savings. and about $100,000 in student loan debt.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
I've been debt-free for a while, so I'm a little unfamiliar territory with what they should do. On one hand, they could take their savings and pay off the debt and be debt-free.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
On the other hand, they'd have no savings at that point, and that just makes it a little uncomfortable.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Yes. Them, probably more my daughter because she's been raised on have an emergency fund and save for things before you buy it. So she's struggling with do I take the savings that we have and take it down to nothing along with the other side of it.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Yeah, I would say that's part of it. I mean, we do. We have been open and have had conversations.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Yeah, I was trying to get prepared for the conversation as we talk about it more. But it's an interesting there is the Dave approach, as he did with Rachel and say, let me know what you guys do.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Yeah, I think I'm good there. It is what it is. I think I've heard Dave say lots of times on the show that, and then the preacher said, you are one. It is what it is. They view it as the two of them, they have savings and the two of them, they have debt.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
I'm being disciplined and feeling that way about it also.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Very quickly, my question is, I'm looking to buy a new home. I would like to be putting 50% of my take-home pay towards the mortgage of that home. I know you guys say to do 25%, so before you say no, I'm hoping you hear out my details on the numbers. Okay. So my wife and I have a relatively high income, but we're living well below our means.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
So every month we're saving easily what it would cost to be putting 50% of our income towards a mortgage. So combined, my wife and I are at about $350,000 a year.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Right around somewhere between $18,000 and $19,000.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
So we currently own a home. It's an apartment. The mortgage on that one is about 5,000. So we easily make those payments. And then on top of that are saving another $5,000 a month. We are, this is, you know, that 18, $19,000 that we're taking home. That's after doing our 401, you know, maxing out our 401k contributions, all of our, you know, all of that.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
It's, I mean, the 401k contribution is like $23,000 a year, but we both do that. So it's $46,000 a year that we're contributing to our 401ks. Okay. So that's probably right around 15%. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Exactly. We drive a car that's eight years old, fully paid off. We have no interest in another one. We don't spend money on clothes.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
So we're still, you know, we are, we do have about $300,000 that we're looking to put as down payment. You know, in addition to the income that I gave you, that's like my W-2 income. I do have a small consulting business where I make, you know, a very varied income every year. That's kind of unpredictable. So like all the money that I get from that is just going towards like the down payment fund.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
And then once we do buy a second home, we would be dumping any money I get into that towards the principal.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
probably about $250, and then my wife makes somewhere around $125.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
We have two already. So both, you know, they're both actually entering school. So my wife's thinking about, you know, being more aggressive towards her career now. Yeah, which I hope she should.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Okay. All right. I mean, we did already take care of the kids' college, if that helps. So when they were both born, I put $70,000 into a 529, maxed it out, basically just to take that huge tax deduction.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
I'm banking on them each having at least 200. Okay. You know, go to the school they want and I won't take out any.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Depends on What You Do Today
Some sort of validation that I'm not crazy for thinking about putting half of my income towards a mortgage.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Hi, good afternoon, sir. Thank you so much for having me on your show.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Sure, sir. The reason why I'm calling in is because I'm having a couple of issues right now. I currently own the home that I live in. It has completely paid off. However, that home is actually my mom's home.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Yes, it was my mom's home. It is in my name now. It is paid off. However, it was originally my mom's home. She lost it, and so I helped her save the home, and now it's in my name. I don't feel that she'll lose it again. However, sir, my mom has made infrastructure changes to the property. This was before I even had the home.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
She had made infrastructure changes, and she didn't properly permit the house. So she's gone now a couple years of having... rooms that she created into the house that weren't permitted. And so now I'm in fear that I may be facing any type of legal issues or ramifications that can come out of the house being in my name and her doing things to the home before they were even in my name.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
And so now I'm trying to just save myself any issues that may come out of all of this. And I want to just un-deed myself and deed my mom back on the property and just give her the property to take care of.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Yes. So the actual outside structure of the home is the same. It was never changed. But what she did was she built up additional walls, creating bedrooms.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Yes. And now my one fear right now is, so the conditions of the house, the roof needs to be replaced. That's about $20,000. The driveway needs to be replaced. Fencing needs to be added.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Right now I'm not working. I decided to put myself back into school, and I just graduated two months ago. How do you people eat?
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Well, I have savings that I use up right now. I only have about 2,000 savings left.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
I'm getting ready to go into public safety, law enforcement to be specific.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
I'll be making approximately $60,000 a year. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Yes, sir. Because right now she rents out. That's where some of the income is coming in. She did additional bedrooms. She rents out the bedrooms. And so that income, she claims it all because that's technically her retirement. So she doesn't work.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Yes. It's only because the house was originally mine. I did save it from her. I didn't technically have any financial investment in it.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
I was able to, when she short-sold the house, I was able to purchase it for about $40,000. That's called a financial investment. Yes, and she has since then refunded me that money.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
So I've just been listening to your show for about a month now, and I understand a little bit about the baby steps, and I actually just signed up for the financial piece,
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
course through my church wow great to get started on that yeah um so my situation is that i am 41 single um i have 183 000 in student loan debt you're a doctor or lawyer um nurse practitioner oh good that's even better okay so you're making what 110 um i'm making 135 135 great i love it what other debts have you got I have $8,000 in private student loan debt. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
$5,000 in a parent plus loan for my daughter.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
This is the really hard part to even say out loud is I have $19,000 in credit card debt from medical bills and other things. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
I currently have a job that works great for my family. It's a good income. I'm just not passionate about it. I've only been there about four months, and historically I stay with my job a long time. I was just offered my dream job this morning, and I am nervous about discussing that transition with my current employer because I haven't been there very long. So how do I go about that?
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Well, I have a history in cardiothoracic surgical ICU nursing, and I'm now a nurse practitioner, and so I heard about the opening with the surgeon that I used to work with through a friend, and I reached out, and they were really excited that I reached out.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Yeah, yeah. Every year they're pretty consistent with making sure that they compensate you well.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
No, it's a better schedule for my family. No, the one you're in today. Oh.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Yeah, I do. Okay. I just wanted to, was there a more professional way to say that? But that sounds compassionate and professional.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Hey, thank you so much, Dave, for having me on. I appreciate you guys. Sure.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Hey, so I just wanted some insight and wisdom from you guys on how a young couple like my wife and I could best attack the debt that we have, become debt-free with the situation that we're in, and ultimately pay off, again, everything that we have.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Actually, it would be my student loans, about five grand.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Hey, Dave, thank you so much for taking my call. I just want to take a second, and I appreciate all that you do. You've truly changed my life over the last few years, and I just want to take a second to say thank you. Sure. What's up? Awesome. My question is how should I feel about a prenup? I know your stance on prenups and I know kind of, um, you know, extreme circumstances.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
And I believe kind of like my circumstance is kind of extreme on both ends. So a little bit about my background. I am currently 28. I followed the baby steps through and through currently on three B I make about 300,000 a year. And, uh,
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
that's divided up into about a hundred K in retirement, a hundred K for a down payment and, you know, 25 to 35,000 and just a bank account checking account for an emergency fund. So, um, my question, so I'm getting married in June to my wonderful fiance. Um, and her family is extremely wealthy. And although I do not, and her, her parents, And grandparents are extremely wealthy.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
So they are apparently I'm supposed to be signing a prenup, obviously, before the marriage. And kind of we're going to go over that. And my question to you is, how should I feel about that as well as marriage? you know, what to look for in a prenup. Like what, I don't, I don't necessarily know what questions to ask my lawyer.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
And just one last thing is my income could be going from, you know, to 400, 500 plus over the next two to three years annually. So yeah, that would be my question.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
She is, I am 28. She is 25. Does she have any money?
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
The prenup is for the potential inheritance. I have not had a sit-down discussion with her.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
It was after we were engaged, yes. But I kind of had an idea. I don't know the specifics on their net worth, but they are extremely, extremely wealthy.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
To be honest, she's the oldest of four daughters total. They're an awesome family, super down-to-earth people, but they never really had to work.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
She, I mean, she understands. She understands it. I mean, she, what I was getting at is she just doesn't really have, like, she doesn't know. So she's okay with it.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Well, I just like go back to what you guys feel about prenups and that it is an extreme situation, but like, I don't, you know, it doesn't feel good. Yeah. It doesn't feel good. Like it, do I need to do anything on my end?
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Well, the one other thing was exactly. Yeah. The one other thing is apparently they're So the family are in development, so they're big into real estate, and they build houses and have a lot of land. Another thing is apparently they're going to be building us a house and putting it in a trust to where we don't have a payment.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Probably about $70. I have three jobs right now, so I'm a teacher. I do some data entry at night, and I do wait some tables on the weekends.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Hello, gentlemen. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So I moved with my family to Florida two years ago, left my business in Washington State, five years. And in the last couple of years, trying to, um, you know, work remotely managing the business. It was a struggle. Uh, we bought a piece of property here.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
We're planning to build and, uh, you know, a month ago, the business burned down basically completely. And now I'm trying to figure out what to do next. Uh, as far as, Um, maybe, you know, we saved up about $120,000 plus the land is worth about a hundred.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
And, uh, we are thinking either to start something new, like the business that I was doing there, which is out of wrecking, um, on the smaller scale, or for me to just get a job, be more stable, sell the land and buy a house, which is what my wife wants us to do. And we have three little kids.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
five three and uh eight months old i assume you had good insurance i had no insurance business was struggling and um uh yeah so you just lost it for me to pay i lost it yeah pretty much some stuff survived i would say like 90 was lost yeah so so what's the land worth because you own the real estate right Um, I did not own the real estate.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
It was, um, my landlord had the insurance for the building, but the land I purchased here, we were planning to build on is worth about a hundred thousand and we have 120,000 in savings. Yes. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
There are a couple options. I have maybe going into consulting for a company, auto company, or I honestly work for myself my whole life, 36 jobs. And I don't know. So do you have trade skills? I do have trade skills. What are those? I used to work in a body shop as a tech, as repairing cars. Mm-hmm. And I can get back into that.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
That's recycling. A junkyard? It's like a junkyard, yes.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
But I was doing more of like indoor auto wrecking, which was parting cars out, selling used auto parts.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
She's worried about me being home and having less stress because I had to leave. Well, we decided to leave to Florida and I had to work from home. Why did you move to Florida? It was just something we wanted to do. Bull crap. Why did you move to Florida? Okay, so there is a little bit of politics. It's closer to my wife's family and better for our kids.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Um, I am currently living with my parents. I am 29. Um, I've been saving for several years now and I'm trying to figure out if I am ready to buy a house and if I can afford to, you know, get my own place at this point.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Um, well, I was mostly just trying to reach a certain, I was trying to reach that goal of a hundred, a hundred KC. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Good. So... Just quick background. Last year, I left a job that I was at for about 15 years. Since then, I've been struggling to find a job to make what I need to make to pay the bills, and I'm primarily using job boards, and they just seem to not be going anywhere.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Yeah. Resources out there, I guess. What were you making? I was making about $130,000 a year. Doing what? It was commissioned, so it kind of went up and down. Sales and management.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Well, they had a new ownership come through, and one of the first changes they made was pay for the regional managers, so I ended up
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
um was on pace for about 70k after they uh took over okay so cut your pay and you said you should stick it okay i got that yeah all right so have you been working have you been working yeah i've been working um i'm currently making um right now about 55k a year so do you know how to sell yes i i can sell what were you selling before when you're making 130 uh it's furniture
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
I'm sorry? Yeah, to customers. So retail to customers. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Easy. Easy. So, I've looked at some medical, like, sales jobs. I just feel like, you know, I don't feel like it's, you know, I'm qualified, I guess, for it. Do you just apply anyway? Yes.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
So I've lived with crippling anxiety for as long as I can remember. How do I stop it from constantly coming up in different areas of my life?
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
I cannot even function because I'm just crying. My mom left us when I was four. I truly felt like for a while I had no family.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
He triggered me a lot. Scared of losing Paul, scared of doing the wrong thing, scared of not being enough.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
How do I get my inner child out of this relationship? Because I feel like she's running the show.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Well, I'm actually ecstatic to be on this phone call. I can't believe I'm talking to you guys, but I'm calling from New Brunswick, Canada. I actually moved with my family and my two babies, three and four, from Toronto to Escaping pretty much what was happening over there, a normal run down home was $2 million. We didn't want to get into a mortgage like that.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
And because we had the freedom of remote jobs, we decided, well, let's move. We wanted a more conservative place as well. So it's been amazing living here. But we purchased a house, $400,000 last year. it has been a year and a half. And I feel like I'm on baby step number zero. We are reading the book and we're doing everything we can, but we had very bad advice with our mortgage.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
We went on a variable rate last year and I just, I feel hopeless. I don't know how, How do we even get through this? So we've done what we can, and we got the book from the church, Total Money Makeover. We've been reading it, but with two little ones, it's been tough. I don't know how to deal and cope with, I guess, paying the mortgage when we initially budgeted. We ended up at a fixed rate.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
Actually, we fixed the rate last week, and we ended up at $3,200.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
So my husband makes $85,000 a year, and I recently started a work with the same company, actually, and I'm making... $33.90. I'm not on payroll, but I've been with them for 10 months, and they are willing to put me on payroll. It's just it hasn't come to that yet.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
So we're roughly around $8,000 to almost $9,000 a month.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
I know, right? We feel the same, but unfortunately, since we got our home last year, we had, I don't know why we came up with the bright idea that we wanted to finish the basement that we So is it finished or not? It is.
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
I'll just be quick and to the point, 2020, 2021, I was working a mortgage company. They closed their doors in 2022. I was making quite a bit. Now I'm a teacher, didn't file my taxes for 2020 and 2021. Probably 80% of that was obviously commissioned. So I did dumb. I know I need to file those now, obviously, and I'm going to owe quite a bit. I was just going to see if I can maybe get some
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
credit line how much is the payment on that uh a lot it's like nine hundred dollars eleven hundred more maybe because we really got behind yeah okay eleven hundred all right so that's forty two forty three hundred okay and what else yeah uh twenty thousand on a credit card which i don't know how it even came to that okay or mar stop here's what's going on okay your brain is scrambled eggs on this money stuff
The Ramsey Show
Financial Chaos Can Derail Your Future
advice on how to go about doing that in the least harmful way.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Or maybe you say this. Maybe you say, hey, look, here's value number one for me heading into this marriage. I want to not owe anybody any money. And so I got 30 grand. We're going to pretend as though the day we get married, we're going to write a check for your student loans. And I know you're about to be a doctor. I know you've already bought your own home.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
But right now, let's deal in what we got in front of us. We just talked to a guy, a previous caller, who would have had the same conversation about what he was going to make after law school. And he struggled to pass the bar, right? So let's don't count our chickens before they hatch. that means we got $2,000 in an emergency fund.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Like if we're just, if we're talking about the day we get married, we're going to pay off each other's debt. So how much could you look at her in the eye and say, I'm going to go earn this money so we can cashflow this thing over the next year. And that means we're both going to sacrifice is what we spend, what we buy and whatever. She's going to school. You're going to be working extra.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Are you practicing?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Maybe you take on a second job and say, I'm going to work like crazy to see what we can, what I can get done. Do you get what I'm saying? That way there's a conversation about this money isn't going to fall from the sky and I'm not willing to borrow $25,000 for something that we can't afford, but I do want to give you a nice thing.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So I'm going to tell you, I'm going to work real hard for this because I know you're in med school and it's going to take up all your time. Can we be realistic about what's a dollar amount we're actually going to have in hand? Because I think Jade's right. You might be able to earn $25,000 on top of paying everything off. That sounds like a tall order though.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
No, I am not. I had to change career paths because the legal field just wasn't working out in this area. It is extremely saturated.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Or you'll look at her and say, I'll go earn $25,000. I'm not going to see you any weekends for the next year, but I'll go make it happen.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah. Like I said, I'm sure there's a way that I can make it work and stick to it. But like I said, I'm just kind of stepping out of feeling comfortable spending more money than...
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
you know that was doubled what I've had in mind let's don't do that because here's the thing it's kind of like this if your boss says hey come in this afternoon I'm going to tell you about a raise I'm giving you and you imagine the raise is 30 grand
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
and your boss gives you a raise of $20,000, you walk out of that room feeling like he took $10,000 from you, even though he just gave you $20,000, right? And so you sat down with a number of $10,000, and she said $25,000, and you're like, double! And she sat down and was like, half? Right? And the conversation has nothing to do with what kind of wedding do we want to have.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And more importantly, as Jade was getting to, how much money do we actually have?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah. And you got to look at it. I mean, this is somebody's not going to like this. I get it. But it kind of is you do like to weigh the opportunity costs on this. You've got 30 in cash. You've got 28 in debt. So if you were to spend all 30 on this wedding or even 25, you have to then ask yourself, was I OK to go twenty three thousand dollars into debt for this wedding?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Because that's essentially what you're doing. If you take this money and put it on the wedding versus putting it on the debt. I'm not telling you what you have to do. I'm just telling you that's the way your mind needs to look at it, and you guys both have to be okay with that.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So move. Hold on, hold on. Before we go any further, I just have to say, you have created a world where there's only stop signs. And Jade and I are going to give you five or 10 or 20 different options, but you already are a guy that just says, but no, but no, but no, but no, but no.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I would much rather see y'all, if y'all were my friends, have a small, fun, cheap wedding, and then when she graduates from her residency, y'all can throw the party of a century. Right. Because then y'all are rich. That makes a lot of sense.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
It does. I tend to veer on this side, and I say this delicately because as someone who was really looking forward to their wedding, it's very difficult to say, hey, what if you just go to the courthouse now, get a certificate, and then in three years you wild out. That's hard. That's what I'm saying, but. But it's fair advice. You know what I'm saying? It's fair advice.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Honestly, Ellen, if I was you, that's what I would do. I would say, let's go to the courthouse this weekend. Let's have a big fancy dinner for five of our closest friends this weekend. And we're going to announce to everybody that we're married. And then we're going to blow it out in three years. The other side of it is my wedding was very inexpensive.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And it was a blast.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I wouldn't change a second of it.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Or you both just go hard in the paint. You go ham for the next 12 months.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And earn that money?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And earn that money. And then you both get what you want. And there's no sacrifice other than your time to get said money. Hey guys, what's up?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
i recommend contacting my friends at laurel road today through their online application you can get an initial rate quote in less than five minutes and if you have a more complex situation you can schedule 30 minutes to talk to an actual human being thank goodness laurel road makes it simple there are no fees involved and you could save thousands over the life of your loan remember you're
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
From the Ramsey Network, it's the Ramsey Show. Hey, we're taking calls all day long about your life and your money. I'm your host, Jade Warshaw. Next to me, your other host, Dr. John Deloney in the house. All right. Without further ado, if you didn't know this is a live show, you can call in and request your call to be on the radio. The number is 888-825-5225.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
If you're tired of living paycheck to paycheck, wondering where the heck is your money going? Your first step is to get on a budget. I'm trying to tell you our team is hosting a free budgeting training this month via EveryDollar, which is the best budgeting app out there. We talk about it all the time because we really do believe that it's the best.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So before we go further in the call, will you be willing to entertain that the way you've chosen to wall yourself in in your life isn't working and you have to be willing to do other things?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And if you go to this webinar, you're going to learn step by step how to make your budget. and how to stick to your budget, which is really the hard part, right? Sticking to it. But we'll tell you how to do that. Plus, you'll be able to get your biggest questions answered. The team will be on there and they'll do a live Q&A. So you'll be able to drop your question in, ask them, they'll answer it.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And just remember, though, that the spots are limited. So you got to sign up for this thing and you can do that. You can sign up at everydollar.com slash webinar. Lots of people have gone through these trainings and they will say that it's the best thing that's ever happened to them, John.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I love it. All right. Okay. Can we say this? I just have to say this out loud along that thing, that training. Go for it. The number of people, it's not insignificant, who are very, very successful in their business, whether it's medical, nutritional, whether it's physical, mental health, whatever. Okay. Who call and say, Hey man, kind of him all around and then say, Hey,
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yo, can you help me with a budget?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So there's no shame in this thing. That's why I love that training there. That's why I like sitting down and just saying... I know I'm good over here, but I'm embarrassed to say I don't know how to make this budget thing work. I get frustrated. I get triggered. And those trainings are not like lo-fi for dum-dums, right?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
It's for everybody struggling.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I say it all the time. Budgets are like toothbrushes. Everybody needs one. Everybody. Without it, what would happen?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And there's adults that go and their dentist is like, yeah, you're not brushing right.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Oh, yeah, absolutely. That's why I called in.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Like you learn how you learn.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Things get, they get ratchet. They get messed up if you don't have it. Right. So budget's the same way, no matter how much money you have, no matter how little money you have, everybody needs a budget. Everybody needs a plan for their money. And that's really all it is, is you deciding ahead of time, here's what I'm going to do with my money. That's really it. That's it.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
It's not a thing that's for broke people or for rich people or for poor people.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Or for smart people or dumb people.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, it's for everybody.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Everybody. All right. That being said, really good point, John. Let's go to Tyler in Dallas, Texas. What's up, Tyler?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
All right. Good, good.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
What's up, man? Hello. My question is, I got engaged about a year ago, and my fiance got in a mortgage with her mother about 20 years ago. And her mother is missing payments. And we want to refinance our house. and we can't because her mother is missing payments on her house. Is there any way she can get out of the mortgage with her mother?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, so... I guess here's the deal. You got into an excavator and dug a humongous hole for you and your family. And so... you either have to go to a different place or do that job that you hate, that's miserable, but that's the credential you got. You're gonna have to do something with that. You don't have the option to not practice law right now because you don't have any money.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
My guess is, I mean, the way to do that would be for her mom or for them to refinance the mortgage and take her off of it. That'd be the way to do it.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Her mother has really bad credit and can't, and she's talked to her mother, and her mother says, the bank won't do it.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, and so the other thing is, then she needs to sell that house and get into something that she can afford on her own.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Her mother doesn't live there anymore. Her brothers do.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Oh, even more reason.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
It doesn't matter. Sell the house. Her mother is in bad health. She just had a stroke last year.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And she's in pretty bad health, and we want out of it in the worst kind of way.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, so yeah, even more reason to put some pedal to the metal on this and make her understand, hey, you're not even living here anymore. This is affecting us on a personal level. We need to sell this property. The brothers, I'm assuming, are grown and can do grown things and go live in their own space and pay for it.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Her brothers are alcoholics and...
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Not your problem.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
For the purpose of this call. It's not my problem at all. And yes, I am sick of it.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
When I got with my wife, my fiance 10 years ago, I told her mother, if you want my wife to keep, or my fiance, we can't consider ourselves husband and wife. And I said, you need to put my wife on this mortgage or on a deed so that when you die, we get it. And she says, oh no, I want my sons to get this too. Not just you.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And we're completely out of it because we moved to Texas and they're in Pennsylvania. So we're not getting a thing.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
The next thing you can do, and I hate this because it's family business and it's going to mess up the family, but it sounds like the family's already pretty messy. You can try to get a judge to look at it and try to force the sale since she's not living in it. Your fiance's not living in it. And basically squatters are living in it because one of the owners doesn't want them in the house.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
But she lets them live there. And I've told your mother, your, your fiance. Well, my, my fiance is not on a deed.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So she's on the mortgage. She's not on the deed.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Oh, my Lord. So she just co-signed this thing?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
She just co-signed for your mom?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
She was young and dumb.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Well, I mean, yeah. I mean, you don't have to call her names. It just was what it was. And when most of us, when our mothers come and beg us to do something, we do it because it doesn't even mean we're dumb. It just means we just want to love our moms. She was 21 years old. She didn't know.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
She didn't know what she was doing. Yeah. She didn't know any better. And now it's coming back to bite her in the butt. So the three, I mean, those were... Tyler, those are the three options.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
None of them are... Like Dave says, he was young. Yeah, here's the deal.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
There's no good option here. So there's no way that you get through this without somebody getting their feelings hurt or somebody getting angry. So just knowing that on the front end. That's it. Y'all can keep paying this house. You can pay it off and let her alcoholic brothers just burn it to the ground. Dude, that's option one. Well, we're not paying on it. Do what?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
We want to pay our own house off.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
But you know what he's saying? He's saying you can either leave this and it's going to destroy your credit and keep you from having the life you want, or you can do one of the three things that we talked about. It sounds like the first two were kind of non-starts. To your point, I wasn't there, but based off your reaction, it seemed like you tried that and it didn't work.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And then the third thing is yet.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
We're afraid we're going to lose our house.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You get what I'm saying?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
That's why I'm trying to help you, bud.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You are going to lose it. I understand. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm a little scared myself.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, we're with you. But what we're saying is you're feeling it. There is an urgency to this. So if the first two options didn't work, you got to get in front of a judge and say, we've tried to work with them. The mother is failing health. Pretty soon, she's not even going to be able to decide. And these guys are living in the house.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Especially if you say, if you tell us, hey, I actually, I got all these degrees. I like practicing law. If you tell me the only reason is because it's too saturated, then my question is, hey, that might be the case. Why can't we move and go practice law elsewhere?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You've got to have an external party look at this and force the sale of that house.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Who has her mother's medical power of attorney? Does your wife have that? I don't know that anybody does. Okay. Okay. Is she living in a facility or is she living at a home somewhere?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
She's living with her boyfriend, husband, whatever you want to call him. They're not really married. She's living with another man who's adjacent property.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Mm-hmm. So she's just said, it's okay if my credit goes up in flames while these brothers live here. She has no credit. Yeah, she's like, I can live with boyfriend. He'll take care of me. And you guys, I mean, you guys are feeling the brunt of this 100%. Today, I'm going to look into this with a lawyer and say, hey.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, I was just offered a new interest rate of 7.5%. 25% on my property and I'm paying 9% now, which is a $300 difference in payment.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
But I can't get it because my income is only $1,100 a month.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And my payment's $1,000 a month. How are you eating, man? Well, my fiance's paying the bills and I'm just paying the mortgage.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So here's the hard part. The hard part here.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I'm upside down.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I know. I know. I know. The hard part. And this is spilled milk. But you guys probably shouldn't have bought a house yet. While this was. Hey, take it off speaker for me. Okay, Tyler, because it's echoing back.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And you already told me you don't have any houses that you can afford in your area. So what's keeping you in this area?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I'm not on speaker.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
OK, so the hard part is this is spilled milk, but you guys getting into a house before this was settled. That's that's really why you're feeling it, because you this was a huge factor in your ability to be able to carry a mortgage. And now it's biting you in the butt. And so I would say that.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
If you can't if you're not seeing a light at the end of this tunnel with your mom and the fiance and the brothers, then you're going to have to you might have to get out of your house before it gets foreclosed or before you lose it. If you're behind on payments, you can't refinance it. You don't have the credit. This is just going to continue to destroy your credit.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And maybe we can get out of it before it goes from bad to worse. I am so sorry.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Well, that's probably more my wife on her side. Her dad's pretty sick. And so part of the decision to stay here is, you know, help out with him, his medical problems. And God forbid we move and then...
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Well, I used to be one of those guys. I didn't even think about it. And one of my buddies said, hey, the only reason to not have life insurance is if you hate your wife and kids. And I immediately went and got term life insurance. That's a gut punch. And you're telling me and for decades, Dave, I've sat across people who've lost a spouse. They've lost somebody important to them. Me too.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
They don't know what to do next.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Term life insurance can replace income, pay off debts, cover funeral expenses, so your family can actually have the opportunity to just be sad, to just miss you.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
If you love the show, thank you for listening and be sure to share it with somebody. It does a lot for us when you like and subscribe and share the show.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Obviously it helps get the word out there, but also on the different social platforms, YouTube, all the podcast platforms, it helps push it up in the algorithm, which is good because it serves up this content to not only you, but a lot of other future listeners. So that's really helpful. So thank you for doing that. John, what are you listening to right now that you really like?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
What am I listening to?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Shows? Share something with me so they can know what it seems like.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Oh, man. Like what show? Like what podcast and stuff? Anything. I mean, I've been listening to audio books on Spotify and I've been listening to my same podcast. I usually listen to listen to Peter T as the drive. Listen to my buddy Sean Ryan show. I just like the ones I like.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
something happened and now she's just rushing back here to be with family so let's let's wait before you go on let's unpack that a little bit let's take it piece by piece because i want to know more about that situation is she like is she 100 his caregiver is she just you know she's a child who wants to be near their sick parent is he terminally ill gonna be gonna pass away in six months or is it like a four or five year thing like what's it what's the deal
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
What about you? I mean, I was trying to set you up to show the people how to do this.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I know what you're asking me.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I was trying to say, hey, Jade, I've really been listening to this great podcast. It's called, you know, I don't know. I listen to Mel Robbins. I love this podcast. They have a great one.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
By Peter Attia.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah. So that's what it looks like. You just, really, you like Peter Attia? I do. That's all it is. You don't like him? Boring.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You're out of your mind. Not smart enough.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Listen, let me tell you. I downloaded Outlive, and I was falling asleep.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You're out of your mind.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
That's one of the greatest books written in my time. How about this? Let Them. There you go. That's the whole thing.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
There you go. I love it. I love it. Yes, you're right.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
There you go.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
What are you trying to say, John? Outlive. One is for smart people, and one isn't. Outlive is a masterpiece. It is. I'd rather listen to Dr. Mark Hyman on the same topics, though. All right. Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry. I know.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I don't even know what's happening right now. This is the show melting down.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, let's go to Ashley. She could save us. Ashley's in Orlando, Florida. What's up, Ashley?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
What are their ages?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You have five kids seven and under? Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
oh yes oh mamacita on the way wow wow it's it's different at y'all's house right now listen yo i was just i was just telling somebody my house is crazy i got two kids and a couple of dogs so i retract my statement your house is for real okay so dad's staying at home you're you're out there hustling making 115 000 a year how can we help you today
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
What are they?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Not a scary thing. Sell it.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Hold on. Not a scary thing. You're a pregnant mother of five. Uh-huh.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
It's in a state of being monitored. She's more or less just more the concerned child that wants to be near dad.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You owe 30 and you can only sell it for 10. That's what you're telling me. How?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, so that's a great place to start because now we can start putting some reality around the situation. Like the two of you can sit down and jump in at any point. But if this were me, I would say, OK, the truth is I want to be able to be near my dad when he's sick. What can that look like?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Did you end up getting the degree?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, so one class until you graduate. But in the meantime, you've got $25,000 in student loans. Any other debt we should know about, Ashley?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So you have an outstanding balance with the school? It's not a student loan.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
It's not a loan. That's what it takes to get your transcripts. Okay. Keep going.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
How much is that one, Ashley? I want to make sure we have time to help you.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So $10,000 to the private school, $25,000 in student loans, the motorcycle, you're upside down, anything else? 8,000 school transcripts, anything else?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay. So my screen says that, are you wrong to prioritize time with family over kids?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
um that's what my screen says like sending dad to work you know like we have this amazing balance the kids are thriving you're broke you know and and let me tell you let me tell you something because people get this wrong all the time for most of us john we we will all say what are your top priorities and for most of us listening it probably goes somewhere along like god or like you
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Faith, family. Faith. And then it's like my marriage. And that includes like, it's kind of like my spouse. And then it's my kids. And then under that is like other ancillary things. Right. But we forget that when you say when you have that line item of family, there's a bunch of bullet points under that. That's like, okay, family. Family. The way I prioritize my family can be a number of ways.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
It can be I spend time with them. It can be I work out every day so that I'm here for them and I eat right so that I can, you know, keep a healthy weight so I can pick them up and wrestle with them. And it can be I get a job so I can pay our bills on time and keep the lights on. Right. So there's all these bullet points underneath. And in a given season, you get to decide how to.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
How am I prioritized? Because I'm always prioritizing my family. But in this season, which of those bullet points underneath prioritizing my family am I going to put first? Because they're all going to fight to have the top spot and you get to decide.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
How what is the radius need to be for me to be able to do that, whether it's me jumping on a quick hour long flight or me driving six hours up there, you know, on the weekend? Figure out what that point is, because you guys are in Providence, Rhode Island.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And in this season, you taking care of your family and loving them well is for a season, we're going to work hard and we're going to pay off debt in order to make this happen. And that is how we're prioritizing our family. We're giving them peace financially and And that's something that has the ability to change your entire family tree.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Rachel, do you ever get these sketchy text messages that are like, hey, you need to update your address and verify so we can get you the package you didn't order?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And that's why we recommend Delete.me. They help with that.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
and there's a lot of shady companies out there that solely exist to sell your personal data to bad guys and that means your info like your email address your home address your kids names your name everything is just out there for scammers and spammers to find so much but delete me will delete your data hence the name it's gone they'll wipe it out for you so you can sleep easy
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
There's got to be a radius there that you can get out of that city, get out of that saturated area, get out of that high real estate area and still be able to see see dad. Right. So that's thing one. What's the next what's the next limiting factor?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Get this. So far, they've reviewed 27,000 listings on my behalf, removed me from 240 data broker sites and saved me 77 hours of time. It's incredible.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I love it. So you got to be sure to check them out. Ramsey fans get 20% off their annual plans. Just go to joindeleteeme.com slash Ramsey. That comes out to less than nine bucks a month. Super affordable.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You're listening to The Ramsey Show. I'm Jade Warshaw. Next to me, the person that is making faces, if you're watching on YouTube, is Dr. John Deloney, taking calls about your life and your money.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
There's some awesome kids out here in the audience today.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, it was really cute. You would have to see it on YouTube, though.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, it was really cute.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
He doesn't just make faces. Well, sometimes he does. But we're taking calls, your life, your money. I'll hit you up on the money side. John, tell the folks what you do. They already know you're famous.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I'm just here along for Jade's ride.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay. We're going to the phone line. I couldn't have said that any weirder. Sorry about that. It was weird.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I'm here co-hosting the Ramsey Show with my friend Jade.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Love that. Love it. Love that for both of us. Sarah is in Portland, Oregon. What's up, Sarah?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Couldn't have said that any worse.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Hi. Thanks for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Hi. How can we help?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Well, I have the opportunity to buy my parents' business.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
um do you want it right have do you want it it's a great opportunity doesn't matter do you want it yes and no okay so my neighbor has this car for sale it's like an old like whatever car it's amazing and he's offering an incredible price i just don't want it like do you want this business
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, but is that car potentially going to get me financial freedom? It does. Oh, I love this call already.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So between though for her, she just recently got promoted, but her job is she has to be in the office 100 percent.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, I interrupted you. Keep going.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
That's okay. So I already have a decent career that allows me to work from home. which is great for me. So I'm wondering if, you know, this potential to, you know, grow this business, you know, and potentially make a huge profit on it is worth the stress of owning your own business. Are you single?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yes. OK, would you let's pretend this is the way I would walk through it in my mind. And I think it's kind of along the lines of what John was saying. So you've got this great career. Is it did you go to school to do this career or you just landed in it? What is it?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I kind of ended up in it by accident, but it does have a. I will say neither my current career nor this potential one is something that I set out to do in life or I'm passionate about, but they're both really good opportunities.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So that's, that's where I was going because sometimes it's like some things can be serendipitous and they just land in your, your, your lap and it's like, you know, it's perfect. You're like, like this job for me, I'm like, Oh man, Perfect. I did not set out on this path. I was in entertainment, but this aligns with the things I love and what I agree with. And it was a previous hobby of mine.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So I it made sense. Right. It wasn't me just going, well, it's a good opportunity. I should just take it. Yeah. And so that's what I would guard against, especially since you said you don't have passion about it. And I think that it's one thing to become an entrepreneur and a business owner. But if you ain't got passion about it, it's about to that'll dig you a grave in two seconds.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
OK, that's not too different. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Like that's tough.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I don't want to look back on my life and say I took a series of opportunities. But ones that took my soul from me. They gave me some money, but they took my soul from me. If you told me, hey, I owe $150,000 and I have an opportunity to do something that I don't like for two years and be done with this, I'd be all in. Do it.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, so if we needed to move, she'd probably need to look for a new job. She's opened the question that, could I do this remote? Because it's actually a job that can be done remote, in my opinion.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Because it's temporary.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
What's the job? What's the business?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
It's a small plumbing business.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Oh, Lord. Wait a second.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I'm going from being a single woman working at home just because I like my life. Now I'm going to go be a plumber. To toilet lips? Yeah, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay. I know nothing about the industry or owning a business. It would all be new to me. And to be honest, it sounds exciting. And also, all this with the caveat that I'm not passionate about my current career either.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I'm giving you the 100% you have to do this. Yes. Go buy this plumbing business.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You say do it? It's hard.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, here's what I'm doing. I'm doing an old counselor trick. I'm just smashing the other side of the teeter-totter. Okay. Go buy it. Does that excite you? Or you're like, okay, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Does that excite you? Or do you think I am going to be plunging other people's cha-cha-cha for the next five years of my life, just paying back my parents?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And paying money to plunge other people's cha-cha-cha. I need to know how much this dadgum business is going to cost.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Uh, they're thinking somewhere between one and 1.5 million.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Oh gosh. Where did they get that number?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
They've been talking with their financial advisor, tax attorney.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay. There's people who do business appraisals, kind of like real estate. I want you to find one and tell your parents, I love y'all. I want to get a number on this from a third party professional that will, they'll do a net present value of the business. And it's just a numerical calculation. Here's what it's made in the past. Here's what we think it will make in the next two years, four years.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And that's going to determine the value. I promise you, unless you're like, my son's going to buy my old truck from me. We looked it up and I'm giving him a deal on it because he's my son.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Why does she need to work remote versus just getting another job at a place that will hire her to do what she knows how to do, whether in office or remote?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And that's what they said they would do to you.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, but usually when it comes to parents selling their business to their kid, it's one of two things. They give you a steal or they think it's worth way more than it actually is because it's their life's love. You get what I'm saying? This is a million dollar business transaction. I don't, I would not want to blow up my family and my relationship with my parents over this.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And so I'm going to get a, like, let's go ahead and get an agent that's going to sign off on this and say, Hey, we did a net present value on this company, on this business. We went through the, the, the numbers. This is what we think this is worth. And this is what it would fetch in the open market. And then dad can decide and mom can decide whether we're going to cut you a deal on it.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Here's what it's worth. All that.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
It's a million-dollar business purchase. Think of it that way. And by the way, for all that is holy, please don't go borrow a million dollars to buy this from them.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah. We've kind of talked about that, that they would likely carry the loan.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
No, no, no. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. If you're going to do any kind of plan, they get a percentage of profit only.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Until they're paid back.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Until they're paid back.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Not a consistent amount every month.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
It's got to be a percentage of profit. Because if it's not, then you don't make a profit one month, they're still going to be knocking on your door. The bank's going to be knocking on your door. Now you're in a mess.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Is it the kids? Well, that's part of it. Okay. And then the scarcity of, like, we move and she can't find anything.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I just got to raise a flag on this one, Sarah.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Don't buy this.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Just view me for a moment as just your best friend sitting down. Like the person who always tells you the truth, right? You've got that friend, yeah? Yep. What I want to ask you is what makes you think... That you'll be able to just jump in, run a business, and grow it, for crying out loud, from scratch. Because your parents have had this business for however many years. They've made the mistakes.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
They've had ups and downs. It's not a straight line to success. And for you to kind of hop in cold, I... for 1.5 million. And if we're really, I don't know how they did a valuation on this, but if they really just said, hey, we're doing this at three to four times net profit, like for you, like that's all right. Like that's not a crazy, it's not a crazy opportunity in my mind.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
It's just a normal business. Like I also want to frame that in the right way. Like this is not the opportunity of a lifetime. This is just a normal kind of mom and pop small business.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
How many employees does it have? Right.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Six. Yeah. If it's at 1 to 1.5 million, y'all are trucking along. I don't think this is the opportunity of a lifetime that it might seem like. You as the owner, maybe you make $100,000 a year or $150,000, but I... Especially after paying out six full-time plumbers. That's what I'm saying.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Dealing with their HR issues and their insurance issues when they bust somebody's pipe. Yeah, this doesn't sound like it's for you.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
If your call in the line is busy, leave a message because a lot of times we take messages and we'll schedule your call for later. So that's the way. It goes down. All right. Matt is in Providence, Rhode Island. Matt, what's going on?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Well, you wouldn't move first. So let's put something around that so that it fits in a better space in your brain. So you guys, first you're open to the idea of moving, right? It's you guys talking about that radius like we talked about.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So are you staying on track with the baby steps? You can find out.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
If you hear us on here from time to time, we're always talking about a financial framework that we call the baby steps here. It's seven steps that you walk through to find the easiest and most risk-free path to building wealth for your family. Seven steps. If you want to know, hey, where am I at? Am I doing OK with these baby steps?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
See, my job that I have now, I'm 100% work from home, and I've been trying to move out for years.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You can take a quick quiz to check your progress and receive a personalized plan that's just for you. You can just head over to the show notes and click on the link that's titled. Are you on track with the baby steps? And you can complete that quiz. All right. Let's go to Mike in West Palm Beach, Florida. My hood. What's going on, Mike?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Hey, thank you so much for having me on the show, guys. You're welcome. How can we help? I have a question. I'm trying to see if you guys can help me navigate this both financially and relationally. My dad is in quite a little bit of debt. He is retired, about 65 years old now. And I'll throw you some numbers to give you a decent picture of all of this.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
How much are you making this job? So I currently make $100,000 and she makes $55,000. Okay, you need to double your salary. And you might not get all the way to $200,000, but you have a $350,000 hole that you dug for your family and $100,000 with another kid on the way. Maybe it's 100% at home, but also you're taking cases for the state on the weekends.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, so he has about $85,000 in personal loans, another five in credit cards. And then he makes about $4,000 net a month, about 48 a year, I would say.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
He's still working or that's what he's drawing?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
No, he has a pension. That's what he gets from his pension. Gotcha. He also gets some bonuses at the end of the year. So between October and December, about, I would say, $7,000 to $12,000 in bonuses on top of that. How much? $7,000 to $12,000. I don't have the exact number, but roughly around that.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And that's between October to December? Correct. Okay. Gotcha.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So the situation that he's in, his monthly payment for the loans, it's about $2,500 a month.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And you can see how making $4,000, that can be an issue. So he's reached out to me and my brothers for some help. And we're trying to see what the best course of action here would be to help him out.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And what he's asking from us ideally would be for us to lend him about $1,000 a month so that he can repay us at the end of the year with the bonuses that he gets, which I just want to get your take on that. Do you think that will help?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Is he healthy? Yes.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
He had a little medical situation last year, had a heart attack. It was minor, but mostly he's healthy. He retired at 49. Oh, okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So that puts some context around this. He retired at 49. Wow. Um, I feel as though, and John, you're looking at me, uh, Mike, I feel like if I were in your shoes, if I had a father who was 49 and when he retired, he decided in that moment, I'm okay with $48,000 a year as my pension. Um, and I'm doing this knowing that I have debt. I would say you need to go back to work.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah. He's put you and your brother in an incredibly awkward position. Yeah. And on behalf of dads everywhere, I'm sorry that he did that to you. Because dads aren't supposed to do that to their boys. Like, I hate that y'all are in this position. Has he just not done anything for 20-something years?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
No, I mean... He does have, let's say, a farm that he grows some mangoes and stuff, but this is just hobby stuff.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah. So he just piddles away his time. He just kind of spends and buys what he wants to, and now he's annoyed at the payments. And he's even going to have the money this year. He's just annoyed at the payments, so he just hollers at you two to bail him out?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, yeah. Mostly, we had no idea of any of this. As you can imagine, we had no idea of his financial situation until... The medical situation came up and he was pretty much, he told us, hey, here's all the logins to all of my accounts and all my stuff. And is he broke? Make the payments with what I have in my account. Whatever you decide to do, it's fine with me.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And that's how we got the picture of his financial situation.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So have y'all had a reckoning after that day? Because even that move is a lot, right? It's hard to watch your dad be sick and wonder if he's going to die. But then for him to say, hey, whatever, dude, you just take care of it. That's a lot, too.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
That's tough.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And that at least warrants a follow-up conversation with, all right, hey, dad, you're broke, man. Like, what's your plan here? Right? You get what I'm saying?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, yes. What's his living situation?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
They don't live in the U.S., so living situation, they have a paid-off house. Okay. I went back home, and we did have a conversation about that, and I proposed maybe he could sell some of the properties, land that he has, like a farm. It's not a lot of money. I would say maybe $7,000 to $10,000. That's exactly what he's asking you for. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Correct. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I just think it doesn't need to be repaid at the end of the year. But he said that that was his dream when he retired to be able to have that land in the future.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, but was his dream also to go hit up his sons for money? You know what I mean? That's pride. That's ego, man. You know, I don't think— I would much rather my dad call me and say, I've always had this dream to have a couple of acres with mango trees. I would love it if you and my other siblings could get together. I would actually be tempted to figure that out than, hey, I've got this dream.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I don't know what it is, but, and I know you've got kids and I know you want to be a present dad and all that. You just don't have that luxury right at the second.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I know you guys are in your prime wealth-building years. You guys want to start families, get married. Forget y'all's stuff. Can you bum me $10,000? Yeah. I just... That's just tough for me, man.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And my thing is, like, he can work. He's not 85. He's 65. And he for sure has six good working years in him to say, okay, instead of asking, bumming a thousand bucks a month off my kids, let me at the very least go earn that myself. And if he really wants to get this debt paid off, you know, he can do something more. But... I, this is your dad. You love him. This is your family.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
But at the same instance, like there's a hard line that you kind of have to draw of. I didn't do this. Like this is not, it would be, this is not my cross to bear, you know, like this is not my burden to carry. I don't think, and I don't think that's being callous.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I just think that he made a decision at 49 years old, very prematurely and has had many opportunities to about face and has chose not to do that.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And I do think, go ahead, you go ahead.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And this is different in my book rather than if my dad called me or my mom called me and said, I don't have any food.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Sure. I have no shelter.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I got you. We'll figure this out. And by the way, when you're in my house, here's how our house, my house runs. You're not going to come here and run my house, but I would be all about that. This isn't that. This is, I have a fantasy. I don't want to, I don't want to have a job. I don't want to do anything.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I get these checks that come in a couple of times a year, but now I want that money right now. Will y'all do that? And here's another question we haven't even asked you. Can you afford it? You got $10,000 to spend?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
No, go ahead. For more transparency around the loss of, I'm actually not licensed. I struggled to pass the bar. I took it. five times before I decided like, Hey, I've dropped 15 grand in total and just registration fees that I need to go down a different path. And then that's where I am today in my current role.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yes and no. So right now my wife is working very minimal because I'm helping her through her master's program. So it's basically just me right now.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I know that you didn't answer my question. Do you have $5,000 or $10,000 to write a check?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I do. I do, but it's the money that I have saved up for school.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, it's earmarked for something else. So that means you don't have it. If it's earmarked for something else that's a necessity, like your wife's school that you said you're going to do, that means it's not extra.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Or it's actually y'all decided y'all are going to do that with y'all's money.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, you definitely can't take her school money and say, hey, I'm going to give it to my dad who's been retired since he was 49. She would probably flip her lid, right?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, yeah, definitely not something that she'll be very happy about.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, rightfully so. Rightfully so.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
How can he return it? He gets these bonuses at the end of the year. But then it's another form of debt. Yeah, it's another form of debt. Which doesn't solve the problem.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Right. And loans, dude, loans destroy. Look, he already put a wedge in y'all's father-son relationship by saying, hey, I know your wife's in school. I know y'all are thinking about having a family. I know y'all are thinking these things. I don't care. I have this dream and I haven't wanted to work for 15 years. Will you send me some money? I'll get you back later. So he put a wedge in it.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Don't further that wedge by creating a business transaction between the two of you. I'd rather you say, no, sir, I can't do that right now.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I see. That changes things. It does. Did you, did you, can you honestly say you committed to doing all of the bar prep?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
All right, all right. Today's question of the day is brought to you by WhyRefi. So when life happens and those private student loans go into default, WhyRefi offers real possibilities, not judgment. WhyRefi will help you explore a low fixed rate loan based on your unique circumstances. So go to WhyRefi.com slash Ramsey. That's the letter Y-R-E-F-Y dot com slash Ramsey.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
May not be available in all states.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Today's question comes from Ryan in the great state of Texas. Ryan asked, I'm 30 years old and I feel pressured to marry my girlfriend so she can stay in the country. No kidding. We've been dating for a year and part of me thinks she might be the one. I'm just going to stop right there. Ryan, there's no such thing. That's not a thing as the one.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Oh yeah. I mean, that was three straight years of You know, the beginning of our marriage, too, was like I felt non-present because I was working a full-time job all day. And then I was up all night until 2 a.m. studying, going into the test. And then even before we got married, I was still in law school. And that was, you know, I...
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Oh, I thought you were going to say as part of me.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Do what? Oh, yeah. Part of me thinks she's the one. A quarter of me thinks she's all of the one. Yeah, no. But to be honest, I don't know how much she really loves me versus how much she just wants an easy way to stay in the country.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yo, I really don't know what to do and I really need advice.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Run, run, run away, run away, baby.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I'm going to turn you over to the relationship expert, Jade Warshall. Jade, what do you think?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Oh, man, no. You're the relationship expert.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
What do you think Ryan should do here?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Oh, gosh. Uh... Only he knows what's really going on. But my sense is if he's even asking the question, there's probably some of that that's there. Otherwise, you wouldn't even think to ask the question, I don't feel like. But I've never – it's hard to know. I have never been in this situation, John.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Well, I can identify with the feeling of or the question of – And I get this a lot, which is, if I'm even wondering, is this the right person?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
That's what I'm saying.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
But I don't know many people who aren't the night before going, is this, are we, are this for sure? Are we for sure?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I felt pretty good.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
The night before my wedding.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And I'd say my wife did too. She's like, oh, all of a sudden, I'm marrying that dude. Rachel Cruz, we talked about, she's like, oh, 100%.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I was 100%. I mean, I was like, oh, I hope this works out.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
But it's a testament to me and my insecurities, right?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, I got you.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
My concern for Ryan is he's having those natural like, I don't know, man, I don't know. James, what about you? How are you feeling? I was feeling 100% the whole time.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, I felt 100% too. I know Sam Warshaw better have felt 100%.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Have you met James? James was like, really? Really? Really?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay. That's what I'm saying. That's saying something.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah. Look at Jay. Sam better have been at 100%. I'm telling you right now.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I'm already getting mad. It's not even real.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So here's the thing. To question, to wonder, I just want to back out. The idea of the one comes from that myth of a soulmate on the front end. There's just no such thing as that. It's not real. You're going to have to decide. I'm going to wade through my... I'm going to be all in on this thing. You're going to have to decide that. And here's my bigger concern. If you have this big of a question...
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I want you to be able to ask it to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. So if you have a concern... Let's take this... I have to leave the country. Let's take that off the table. That's huge. What if you find out she...
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
dated people in the past you didn't like what if you found out um she actually i don't know if she actually finished college she talks about it but i don't know she doesn't you just ask you find some things right you just sit down and ask right and sometimes it's a hard conversation or hey your dad makes me feel uncomfortable like let's ask that hard question so i'm less concerned with the answer or what the questions actually are
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
When it comes to, should I marry this person? I'm more concerned with, can I ask that question? And will that person hear me out in a respectful, honorable way? And not even agree with me, but can they hear that question? Then we're starting to say, okay, now we're both on the right path. So Ryan, this is a hard one.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Part of my debt was so that I didn't have to work so I could study full time.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
If you are concerned that the person you've been with for a year, who's pressuring you, let's go, let's go, let's go. Ask her. Hey, I've got this weird feeling in my guts that you want to marry me because of my citizenship status. I hope that would make me feel creepier, but I just want to be honest. I want to put all this on the table, and I want to hear what you say.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Hopefully, she says, dude, I can totally get that. I totally get that. I see that. I need you to hear me, how in love with you I am. Or I can't wait another minute to time your wife. Or she might say, how dare you ask that question?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay. So you feel good about, I went all in because I know you and I both know the data about if you just do the bar prep questions and you just follow their schedule. Okay. So you can honestly look in the mirror and say, I got in that ring and I got knocked out five times. Maybe boxing isn't for me. You feel good about that? Right. Okay, great. Awesome. Then perfect. I'll be quiet about that.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, what if she gets pissed? What does that mean?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
then she's going to get pissed about what house to buy, what neighborhood to buy, how much money we're going to expat our money over.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Is she allowed to be pissed for at least just a minute? Of course. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Anger's okay. Because I feel like that could feel, like if she does truly love him, that could feel hurtful.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
yeah and so the question can hurt but also look at this i'm marrying a guy that is not going to hide his questions and bury him down in his chest he's going to actually put on the table even if it's uncomfortable for both of us right i want to marry that guy right true that yeah and so yes everybody gets permission to feel what they want to feel it is do we can we hold space for each other to have those feelings and then we go to the next right thing
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
That's good. I think that's wonderful advice. Let's go back to the soulmate business.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You like the one idea, huh?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
The one. I want to ask the studio audience, do you think that there is a person out there, that is the one, that's the person God has for you? Or do you think like, hey, I could make it work with really anybody I'm compatible with. So if you think there's the one, raise your hand. okay, it's not split. I was thinking it'd be more split.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And if you think it's like, hey, if we're compatible, we could have made it work.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Wow. Ah, look at me. I won that one.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Interesting. I don't know. I'm somewhere on the fence. I don't have a clear stance on that, but I thought that that was interesting.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah. I think the idea of the, you complete me, the Romeo and Juliet.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
There's one puzzle piece and that's it.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Find it. Yeah. Is, is largely, I mean, I don't think I think that insanely debunked.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
When I do believe in a soulmate, but I think, um, I always go back to my grandparents, um, They were married 72 and a half years. And when my granddad passed away, my grandmother literally lost a part of herself. And so when I looked, I was like, oh, there's the soulmate. Like you did three quarters of a century over time. You'll breathe the same with the same lungs. You dream with the same heart.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Like, oh, yeah. But so in my world, you can have a soulmate, but it's only in the rearview mirror. We like to try to do that on the front end and work the back work back.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I like that. I like that. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
But at some point, yes, I decide I'm going to get up today and I'm going to be a good husband even though I don't want to be. I'm frustrated. I'm annoyed. I'm going to get up and I'm going to do the right thing today.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Choices. Every single day you decide I do.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
That's right.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
There you go.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I think I do.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I think I do.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
That's the way it works. All right, let's go to a social question, John. I like these. Let's see. Let me get one that's good for... Oh, let me get one that's good for both of us. Actually, most of these are money, so I'll just do it. Okay, Miguel from Facebook asks, how do I determine your budget if you're self-employed and your income is always fluctuating? I like this question.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So this is probably a question that we get all the time with people. The hardest... I'll say hardest in quotes, the hardest money to budget is the money that's not regular. So you have either irregular income or yeah, your budget is changing a lot. Maybe you're paid on commission or maybe you're self-employed, right? And it's just not the same. So the truth is you still need a budget.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Not much. Just trying to figure out how to, you know, get some more financial freedom. I have about $350,000 in debt with a baby on the way. And kind of in a tight space with a family of three that's eventually going to be a family of four. So we kind of also need to look for a bigger spot. And as you know, the rental market also isn't the best.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And if anything, you need one more than ever. And the way I like to do it is kind of by a ranking system. So I start out with the least amount that I might possibly make. So if I know I can make anywhere between, I don't know, Six and eight thousand dollars. I'm not going to budget at eight thousand to start. I'm going to budget at six thousand to start.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
We can move on to the next thing. Very good. So making a hundred grand, what do you do now?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And then on my budget, everything is listed by priority. So it's like, hey, when I get that six thousand dollars, four walls got to be first. Right. We already know that is that's like your rent. That's your utilities. That's your food, your transportation. Those are first bar none. Then after that are really what I would call the second two walls.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
which are usually insurance and daycare, right, child services. And then after that, whatever we can get with that $6,000, and as more money comes in, now we're able to hit those other areas that are lower down on the priority list. So that's one way to think about it. And then...
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
When you do have a month that's like gangbusters and you do a lot of money, you're setting that money aside for basically a rainy day or a lesser month. So you always have that cushion. And I, you know, as a small business owner, if you can get a month ahead and kind of have that money, it's not an emergency fund. It's not that.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So I work in transportation services for a major company out here. Okay. Essentially, I help manage business to consumer retail delivery.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
It's just I'm always a month ahead on my budget so that if something, heaven forbid, happens and business is kind of lagging that month, you've got plenty of money and and you know how much it takes to run your household. So knowing your numbers when you're self-employed, so, so key.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And of course, when you have that fluctuating income, you're doing it by priority and you're making sure that you keep extra cushion in your account if you can keep a whole month and be a month ahead. That is a win.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
It happens all the time. People get caught up, John. They're trying to pay off their debt. They're trying to build wealth. And they forget about a very, very important component of this whole money thing, this whole wealth building journey. And that's insurance. It's so, so important. You got to have the right coverage. You don't want to have too little.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And you don't want to have too much because that can impact how long it takes you to actually accomplish those goals that you're working on, right? So skimping on insurance might feel like in the moment that you're saving money. But when life happens, man, you're going to be left out there without a safety net.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay. Can you, for a season... Work that job, and the moment your wife gets home from her job, you'll have dinner together, and you head off for job number two at night and get your salary to $150 for a year to start knocking some of this debt out.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So the right insurance, just remember, it really is a shield around you and your loved ones and your wallet if you do it the right way. It's a shield when disaster strikes. And in some cases, it can even save you money if you happen to be paying too much for coverage right now. So, insurance is so, so important. So, how do you know if you have the right coverage?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You need to take the insurance coverage checkup. It's a free online resource that creates a personalized insurance action plan that's unique to you and your situation. It makes an overly confusing topic like insurance very easy to understand and it gives you very, very clear next steps.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So, if you want to do that, go to ramseysolutions.com slash checkup to take the coverage checkup, or you can click the link in the description if you're listening on YouTube or podcast. So, so important. My husband is the one in our family who kind of leads the charge on this, John. He does it once a year. specifically when it comes to your home, because the value is always going up.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You want to make sure that your insurance is right. Trust me, you don't want to play with that. And when you're getting out of debt, a lot of times people skimp on the things they need, life insurance, and even having the right, I don't know if you're self-employed, not having the right medical insurance. People do all sorts of crazy
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Well, and it's medical bankruptcies. It is my basement flooded and there was a rider that I didn't have on my insurance and so they don't cover it. Those are the things, the big things that we see just crush people. And so just making sure you got those basic... And dude, when you're trying to get that debt, let's be honest, it hurts. When you see that payment coming out every month for a maybe...
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
But man, you and I get the honor, but not the privilege, the honor of sitting with people that they didn't have it. Yeah. Right. And I tell you what, I've been going through some insurance claims and Xander has been awesome. Xander is great. Every step of the way with me. Just my personal, they've been taking care of my family, which I just appreciate.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
100%. So just remember, insurance is not a baby step. It's not baby step three, like you're probably thinking it is. It's the moment you find out about it, you got to get it in place. All right. Elora is in Las Vegas, Nevada. Elora, am I saying it right? Yeah, you are. What a pretty name. Hi.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
um i really messed up and i make too much money i make more money than my husband and i want to stay at home with my kids that's all i want i have three kids and they're so good and they're so cute and i just love them i want to stop working and i want to get him on my team to do that okay why do you think you messed up how do i transition you said you messed up why do you think you messed up
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Um, because now I make too much money. I make more than childcare costs.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, that's a blessing.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I would love to stay home.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You didn't mess up nothing.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, because I want to be a stay-at-home mom. So I really applied myself.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Laura, you know what this is? This is like when my brothers and sisters, when we were kids, and I messed up and did too good of a job cleaning the kitchen. And then it became my chore all the time to clean the kitchen. That's basically what you're telling me.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I mean, it's something we've discussed, just didn't really pull the trigger on it.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
That's not messed up. That's you applying yourself. I'm proud of you, dude.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, so tell us why your husband... Okay, so tell us the money first. Tell us what you make. Tell us what he makes.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, with my yearly bonus and commission, I'm making a little over $100,000, and he's making almost $50,000, maybe sometimes $55,000-ish. I work from home, and it's like a good corporate kind of tech job. And he's kind of switched careers from business management to being a truck driver. Okay. Like, I'm pretty much maxed out at where I can go with my job. Like, I can't make more money.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay. I guess what you're hearing Jade and I say, at some point, there's something's got to give, whether it's your living situation, whether it's she goes and gets another job, or it's you get another job. But at some point, you're going to have to look at your situation and say, we just keep talking about it, but we're doing the same thing over and over and over again. We're in the same spot.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And, like, I don't want to. I don't want to, like, work more. And he, like, he could go over the road. But he's a really, really good dad and a good husband. And he wants to be at home. Yeah, we'd like to see him every day. I understand. So you want everything all at the same time. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Well, what's the what's the problem? Is it debt? I mean, obviously, fifty five thousand is it would be tight on fifty five thousand.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So what else is super tight? Yeah. Well, we've paid off forty thousand dollars in debt, a little over forty thousand dollars in debt. We're almost completely out of like any consumer debt. We have like almost twenty thousand. We have two loans, one of the solar panels on our home, which we had to take over for when we bought the home.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And it would be another six to eight months until we can pay both of those loans off. Like we would be completely consumer debt free in eight months.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Can I tell you, I love that.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
We're almost there.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I love that. Can I tell you why?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Jade, tell me if I'm wrong. That is six months, seven months is a, hey, honey, in six months, we're going to have no more debt. And I want to stay home with these kids. And so we have six months. You have six months to find something else.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
That's a great on ramp.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I mean, that's a perfect time. But y'all are asking existential marriage questions. You're not asking finance questions right now.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Well, there's one other big financial component to this. And this is the piece, Laura, I hope it doesn't bust your bubble because I do think there will be a solution if we need one, but it might not be a fun one. So a lot of times what happens is couples get married and they're both working and they purchase a home based off of both of their incomes, right? And that home is a certain percentage.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And then one of the spouses wants to stay home and suddenly... that mortgage becomes a greater chunk of their take-home pay because the take-home pay has now shrunk. So what I want to know is on his income, let's say he's at $55,000, what does that put your mortgage to percentage-wise? Well, when we bought the home... Because that's where the struggle could be. You see that, right?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah. And it's like... Right now, we have basically $2,000 to $4,000 left after budget and stuff to put towards debt.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
But don't think of it like that. Don't think about it as what's left. Think about what piece of the pie your mortgage is. So for instance, right now, how much do you guys bring home a month combined after taxes? Around $9,000 to $10,000. Okay, so your $10,000 and then how much is your mortgage? Yeah. $1,800. Okay, so you're fine, right?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, so it would be about half of his income if we just said right now. That's the issue.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
What do you think, Jade?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And you're not going to find a house payment for $1,800.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
In two minutes, I'm not 100% sold that you're done with law. I think you're a guy who's feeling really defeated and felt the weight of his debt, and it's really paralyzing right now.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
No, we're not.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So he's going to have to make more money.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
He either has to make more money, or maybe you guys can ease into this by saying, hey, I'm going to go down to part-time. work from home. Do you see what I'm saying?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
The debt is a huge piece of this puzzle for you guys, but when it comes to making that sort of change, like one spouse is just no longer working, that mortgage piece is huge because to John's point, yeah, finding a house for less than that, it ain't happening. And I think that's a great mortgage price that you have, but how can you fill that gap and still get at least some of what you want?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
It might be there. It might be him getting more money and you working part-time.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Why did he quit? And he does
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
management to be a truck driver he hated it so bad it was really really i get that but this feels reactionary yeah like it was 2020 he got laid off and then it was like he's always wanted to um drive truck and get a cdl and so he did that um in 2021 and there is like There's room, you know, for him to grow in that industry.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
But he wants to also like start a business and become a partner with the people that, you know, he works for right now. But there's just not like a ton of initiative. I'm like, hey, this is like important now so that we can.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
All right, fair. Hopefully we can do this.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So he doesn't want those things. He's just a schemer. He's just a dreamer.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
You know, I'm a dreamer. No, I think that he really does want it. But I think that he.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
But if he did, he'd go be doing it. Let me put it this way. My wife has to tell me, please don't write a book this year. Wait till next year. Sam, I'm confident, is like, hey, Jade, we're good. We're good, we're good, we're good. Right? Like, people who want it, their spouses are like, hey, what about us?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Not in your situation like, hey, I really want to be with my kids. Y'all have a deeper question, which is, hey, we hit the pendulum after 2020. All right, we got a new marriage. It's 2025, 2026. I want to stay at home. This is a math problem for us. How can we make that happen?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Hey, what are you still doing here? You know the rest of the show is happening on the Ramsey Network app, right? So you got to jump over there to continue watching. You can download it for free. Just go to your app store, type in Ramsey Network. It's completely free. And I'll drop a link in the show notes to make it easy for you. So if you're watching on the app, you're in luck.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
But if you're watching anywhere else, this show is over for you. So jump onto the app and let the fun continue. All right. Go on now. Don't make it weird. Okay, I got nowhere to go, so you need to go. Okay, bye-bye now. All right, this is getting weird over there, guys. What do we do?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Fairwinds is federally insured by NCUA.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
All right, let's go right to the phone lines where Alan is in Dallas, Texas. Alan, how can we help?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I recently got engaged about a month ago, and now we're starting to do planning for our wedding.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And I realized me and my fiance are on two different pages as far as what we should spend on our total budget. My idea, I don't want to spend over $10,000 getting married. Hers is a little over double that. She wants to spend $20,000 to $25,000. Okay. So I'm trying to figure out, am I out of touch with reality with having a budget for $10,000? It depends.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Or should I just go in and do what she wants and make her happy with spending more?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Well, it depends. You're my hero, man. You're my hero. It depends. I mean, if you guys really do have the money and you could spend $25,000, then that's different. If you don't have the money, then I would not do what she wants to do just to, you know, make her happy. So tell us the funds. Tell us about the money.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, so... The reason I'm not comfortable with it right now, she's in medical school, so together we bring in maybe $120,000 between the both of us.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And there's no houses or at least starter homes with three-bedroom, two-bath in our area, which is at least something better than what we have. We're in a two-bedroom, one-bath right now.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So also, you know, looking long-term, we're okay right now as far as our living situation. We have no kids, but we're not in our forever home. So eventually we are going to want to move, plan for children and stuff like that as well.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
How much money do you have right now?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
A lot. You got a lot. Yeah, total savings right now, I'd probably say I'm at about $30,000.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay. And how much debt? This is just you.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
My debt, I only have about $4,000 in credit cards. I pay for school out of pocket, so that's the only thing that I have.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So you have $30,000 saved, $4,000 in debt. What about her? Because you mentioned medical school, so tell me about her situation.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Student loans, I know she has about $20,000. She's cash flow in medical school? Yes.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Man, good on y'all.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Oh, thank you. And right now... Bro, give her whatever wedding she wants, man. You're going to want to hang on to this one. Y'all are cash flow in medical school, dude.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And right now... We're in her home that she bought maybe four years ago.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And the home debt is $230,000.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, great. So, again, she's just got the student loans, nothing else, just the $20,000 of student loans, nothing else?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Just that and the home and a credit card. I believe she has the same, about $4,000 in credit card.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, does she have any money saved? I'm guessing no, but tell me if she does.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Not much. Not much. So the savings right now is completely on me. She pretty much dumped whatever she had to getting through school.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And when's the wedding? When's the date?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
July next year.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So you got one year, a year and a month to save this up.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Can I change the question, Jade? Yeah. Alan, can I ask Jade a question? Sure. On your behalf.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Absolutely, please.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Okay, so Jade, tell me if I'm wrong here. Sometimes the question, how much you spend on that ring, how much you spend on the wedding, it's as though the number is the value. Instead of, did you get the ring you wanted? Or what do you want this wedding to look like?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
What kind of debt is this $350,000? I was hoping you would say some of it was a mortgage, but that was wishful thinking.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And so when someone sits down and says, only got $10,000, what if y'all had a conversation about what do you want this wedding to look like and feel like and who's going to come to this thing? And then y'all begin navigating. And I hate to use this word, but it's negotiating. Like, do you got to get those flowers or can you get these flowers?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
And we have to get some super atomic baker because you might find that when you both get what you want, actually it's 17 grand.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I think that is a very good place to start. Um, cause I think you're right. There is, there's a vibe just as much as there is dollar signs. So maybe it's, Hey, we're on Pinterest and we're looking at the things that we want. And then based off of that feeling, we're rolling it back and saying, okay, what is the budget that we have to accomplish that feeling? Because John is right.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
I was hoping you'd say med school. Like, what is it?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
There's good, better, best. There's different layers of the same thing. And if you pair them rightly together, it can still be very, very nice. So I think John is asking a good question. Just going back to the numbers, just purely numbers for a moment, I I got to say that I do tend to go on your side, Alan, $30,000 in the face of $28,000 of debt.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
So 300K is mine, and it's law school, undergrad, and a master's program. Wow.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens
Yeah, it's probably better to spend between 10 or 12 or, you know, somewhere in that range, because I want you guys to pay this debt off. And I think that that's fair enough. And I think it's somewhere meeting in the middle. If you said 10, she said 25, maybe you land at 15.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
Learn more at RamseySolutions.com slash SmartVestor.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
Hey, thanks, guys. I'm looking to propose to the girlfriend within the next year or so, and I'm curious about how I should go about doing that financially. What's the best way to calculate or determine how much one should spend on an engagement ring?
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
So right now I'm 21. I'm a full-time college student. I only make $15 an hour, but I do have $30,000 in cash just kind of waiting to pull the trigger. I know that's probably too much.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
Zero. Because you said $15 an hour, right? Yeah, maybe $1,000.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
I think she'd be happy if it happens.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
I made it sound like you killed somebody. Business ventures. Nothing crazy, just lots of savings.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
That happens all the time now. You probably could FaceTime her now. I think she... She doesn't want it over the phone.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
I'm sorry, Ramsey fans. That can't happen.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
There you go. I like it. What's up, Zach? So, I'm on babysit up, too. I'm almost paid off with a credit card. My question is if I should pay off my 401k loans next or jump straight to the next credit card.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
I have one for $4,000 and one for $8,000.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
Debt consolidation. And then I ran back up the balances as you often do.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
I just didn't change my habits. You know, I only had that hundred dollar payment. So, you know, I had that extra money back in my budget every month. And so I could afford all that stuff on Amazon. And it's like repeated.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
$22,000. So I have $10,000 on that last credit card and then $12,000 on a personal loan.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
Me and Dara, back in November, have a new son, a baby boy. We have $87,000 in debt. I've been in debt since I was like 18 years old.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
I gave birth to him. I knew, I said, I cannot leave him with someone that I don't know. I don't care if we're eating rice and beans, Sean, I told him. There was no going back.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
Wake-up call. You know, open next 20 years. This is important. You know, we got to get this right.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
Hey, I hope you're both well. I'm calling because I want to know if we are the exception to the baby steps order. The reason I'm asking is because we do not have a mortgage. We were super blessed to be gifted a home when a grandmother passed away. Wow. So zero mortgage, zero car loans. We're driving beat up cars. We're living as college students. No lifestyle creep. But we have a $65,000 HELOC.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
And I've always just kind of viewed that as... You know, $450, we're only paying interest now, but a $450 home payment, you know, instead of a mortgage. I'm kind of wondering if I can bump that more like step six because a $1,000 emergency fund for a very old special home is just killing us. You know, $3,000 well last year, water heater, braces, brakes.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
I feel like all these things are things that we should be paying for, and it just, it was painful.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
When we first moved into the home, we were actually on a renovation show. Wow. Did they pay for the renovations? We had to match it. So we actually took out $50,000 to match. And then we were surprised by our taxes the next year because it was considered a gift. So then we had to... add on more to the HELOC to cover the taxes. So now the total is 65.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
So we'd like to spend the next two years saving up six months of emergency fund just because our home is older. And that'll take about two years.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
It is. It is. How many 40-year-olds have no mortgage? It was wonderful. It's just 125 years old. It's really special.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
Yeah, but I feel like if we had a new home... And if you didn't have a mortgage, why'd you go into all this debt?
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
That was 10 years ago, and just... We're making different priority decisions.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
Yeah, we had to borrow last year from a family member, which also didn't feel good, but it was a lower interest rate, of course.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
Because, yeah, the thousand dollars that we had in our emergency fund didn't cover those. Right, right, right.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
Hey, how are you guys doing today? Doing great. So, my wife and I are starting to get into a business that I used to do for a bunch of years, and I took time off landscaping. And...
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
What I had known to work for me at that time was small scale but she's looking to upscale it and get to a bigger place and I respect that but we seem to be having some key differences in how we're approaching that and I just want to get on the same page with my wife on how we can work this together with her professionalism in this and then my previous experience in what we've done.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
So with what I do, how I was doing it before was a lot of in-person door knocking, very grindy. She wants to take it into obviously 2025, where there's a lot more pre-booking of these services, a lot more online, that sort of thing, which is just in my experience hasn't worked as well.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
I believe it was more with the former. So I was never skilled at that. I'm much more people-oriented in person and she seems to have a lot more of a grasp in the online things. Could you do a combo of both? That's what I want to do. I just find that she discredits a lot of what I've done Into where we are. And I just want to be able to approach that conversation amicably.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
No. Well, that's the thing is when I've been doing this is it's not about a major... This is working towards getting an investment into owning our own equipment. We do a bit of rental working it that way as opposed to dropping the thousands of dollars that are needed to have the machines ourselves.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
I'm out there. Usually I work a full-time job 10 to 12 hours a day, and then when I'm done my day, I go out and pursue the people who I've had leads from doing jobs.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
No. No kids. We don't have children. She was working. She hasn't for about the last, I'd say, six to eight months.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
No, no, I'm sure that would be probably be a lot better than how I've approached.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
Well, it's I just I agree with what she says, but I also say like this is where my experience lies. So if we can utilize mine and what I'm doing and get to that point where we're using both, it's that's where my mindset has been.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
No, that sounds like definitely what I've wanted to say, just not wanting to approach that better. I appreciate the knowledge you have.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
Is this all on you? No, I definitely want to scale. I just want to do it properly. I know when I had done it before is when you work with people, you have to really trust who you're working with and then earn through with them. And that's definitely what I would like to do. I know she has a larger vision in mind than what I've had.
The Ramsey Show
You Can’t Win with Money if You Keep Borrowing It
I was doing anywhere between, again, just on my own time, between $100 to $150 a year.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
My question was on whole life insurance, it also grows tax-free. I know it doesn't have the same rate of return, But if a person wanted to increase their long-term tax-free savings, would that be something you would consider as a viable approach, that they've already maxed out their Roth IRA, or if they have a company, a Roth 401k, the sale can only max out at $7,000.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
My wife and I are in the process of buying a house. We were pre-approved, and our loan officer told us she doesn't advise 20% down payment. We're in North Carolina. She says the appreciation rate in North Carolina.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Yeah, I figured you would say something along those lines. I have a hard time understanding how that works out.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
I've actually only sold a couple of policies, but no, I'm not actually involved in the industry specifically, so you don't know.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Hey, Dave. I appreciate you taking my call. I messed up big. Went behind my wife's back, racked up 26K and credit card dead in four months. Pregnant wife, I should say, and now she's filing for divorce. What'd you jack up 26K on? Pokemon cards. Trying to buy a bunch and then sell them online, which didn't work out.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Yeah, correct. We have three boys together, two to five, and our first girl on the way, she's 15 weeks pregnant.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Angry, short, not pleasant at all to be around, to be honest.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
that that's what's going on and so that's why i pushed her over the top um and then so the net net of the thing is have you been able to sell the pokemon cards yet no i'm going uh here on a few i'm just getting everything together so i can take it to one of the local shops here in salt lake to sell and pay back some part of this debt um and what do you think they're going to bring
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
I'll be lucky, honestly, if I probably get five grand.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
So what had happened was I... I was trying to build a platform on social media, so I built an Instagram account where you buy followers, and I paid a lot of money on giveaways on an app called Whatnot, and that's how I really racked up the debt was buying these expensive giveaways to try to get people to come to my channel.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Yes. Uh, I started at, we were at four grand and that's what she knew at 4,500. And then I went, um, and continued as things were already going to rocky path. I felt, uh, I just self-indulged in myself and went all in on myself out of selfish greed and lust for fame that wasn't real.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
I am. Yeah, she went with me today to my appointment.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
She did. I looked up a video from you guys. That's how I came across your number last night. A financial infidelity. She used that word. And I told her, I said, look, I know I'm going to be served papers tomorrow. Next day. So if there's even a chance you'll stay with me, I would burn all these cards right now, work overtime and do whatever it takes.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
What'd she say to that? She said, no, I want to go through a therapist appointment.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
And the therapist said, why should she stay with you? I said, logically, she shouldn't. I said, she has no room to stand on that she should. And I said, but there's even a chance, even if. In the end, it's worth it to give a chance to my family.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Hi, Dave. Hi, Jade. I'm doing well. It's a pleasure to talk to you two today.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
So I'm 27. I got married just over a year ago, bought a house shortly after. We're on track, baby steps four, five, and six to pay off our home in about four years from now. Our first child is on the way due in five months. And my question is one about priorities. I really want to keep paying down this house ASAP.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
So my wife may not have a job in the future other than carrying family, but I also want to be generous with others. And a buddy of mine went through a separation recently. He's a hard worker, not a bum, but he's starting from scratch, saving up to buy a car.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
And I'd like to give him a beater for Christmas as a way to bless him and advance his future, but I worry if this is reckless financially while I still have a mortgage.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
I just brought this up with her yesterday, and she's mixed about it. She's more hesitant than I am, but surprisingly, she was not averse.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Between $225,000 to $250,000 a year. How much do you have in your emergency fund? At least six months of expenses, about six months.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
I want to say it's like $30,000 to $35,000.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Yeah, cars gone down a little bit. So I mean, they used to be in price here, even the beaters.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
It's a good point. But if I may add one more piece, I am considering a career change relatively shortly, although I'm Again, I'm making $100,000 and the rest, about $125,000 or so, is my wife. I worry about my future at this company. I don't feel as though I'm doing a good job as I have in other roles. It doesn't seem like a good fit for me.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
I don't think that's the case. She's working from home now, so it's relatively manageable.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
But I do still want to have, I want to give her the opportunity to not feel trapped in her job.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Hi there. So my husband and I, we have recently been binging your guys' show. And we are preparing now with our baby step one and are about to start our baby step two. Looking at our debt, we've made some real dumb decisions. And my husband's credit cards, there are several. We have let all go into default over the last couple of years. Mine, however, are current. I have three.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
And so when listing them, since we know we've gotten all the information about paying them in full, you know, settlement in full with a prepaid debit card, all that sort of stuff. But I just don't know how to go about listing them smallest to largest since they will be a lump sum.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Okay. And then our car loan is actually now a personal loan from a friend. Should that be gross?
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Right. It is just one of the larger ones because my credit cards are all relatively small. However, because it's A debt with a friend, it really is hanging over my head. How long have you had it?
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
One year. We've been paying, and we're paying them all monthly.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
My first three are only $10,000, so probably about five months.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Currently, it's at $100,000, but in the next six months, we're going to go up to $160,000. Good. Good.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Yeah, it's just not going to go up until February, so we are impatiently waiting.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
We have downloaded every dollar and we are using that.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Oh, I got it. Problem, my insurance company is wanting to, they say it's illegal for them to insure my automobiles because I have such a low credit score. I've been very wise with my money. I have no bills. I don't borrow a lot of money. I don't need money.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
No, but I have old automobiles. I have a 2007, a 2014. I have nothing new. I have a 2011 Harley and a 2000. I have nothing old. Everything's got liability insurance on it. You see what I'm saying? I have nothing with full coverage insurance. Don't need full coverage insurance.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
We have paid off $205,960.46. I love it.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
$110,000 to $140,000. Wow, nice. What do you all do for a living?
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
I'm an equipment manager for a golf course.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
And I'm a payroll administrator.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
We sold some land and a rent house nightmare and a lot of other things. We sold so many things the kids thought they were next.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
It brought $122,000. Good. And what did the land bring?
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
And what kind of debt was the 206th? I maxed out home line of credit on the Nightmare Rent House, camper, car, credit cards, phone loans, and medical bills.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
It really did. It was horrible.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
So I actually listened to your book a few years before our journey. We were already drowning in debt. And I listened to the Total Money Makeover. It was like, he is so right. We have got to get out of this debt. We'd have so much margin in our life. But I don't want to listen to your plan. I want to do my plan.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
We've raised the limit on the maxed out home line of credit and maxed it out again. And then found ourselves in even more debt. This was the third time we consolidated our debt. Each time we doubled the debt.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
So two years ago, we're drowning again. The renters hadn't paid rent in six months. And we had a variable interest rate on the rent house. So the feds were going up. So we went from $300 interest payment to $900 interest payments. Yeah, it was bad.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
We couldn't do it. We literally couldn't pay for it.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
So then I listened to your book again, and this time it sank in. It's okay. My plan obviously isn't working. I had prayed numerous times, God, please increase our income so that we can get out of this. And he said, no, I'm cutting you off. You obviously are bad stewards of my money. You've got to learn this lesson. So then I said, let's do this.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
And at the time, our marriage honestly was on the rocks. Casey was dealing with some heavy depression. And I was like, I'm not sure how I'm going to get my spouse on board because he wanted nothing to do with the finances.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
So I did the only logical thing, which is say, hey, I'm going to sell this gift that you bought me on credit a few years ago. Why don't you ride with me to make sure that I'm safe as I sell this item? Uh-huh. And I trapped him in the car listening to Total Money Maker. It didn't go well. He made fun of the book. You know, it can't be that easy.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
It's so easy. I was not a believer at first.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
You're not listening. He says it's not easy. So I'm like, okay, I'm on my own. Give it a few days.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
So when he comes home and... I'd listened to a few of the debt-free screams. I started listening to the podcast and heard a few of them, and it was very inspiring, very emotional for me. And I said, you know what? If these folks can do it, who some were worse off, some were not as much, but they were able to do it. I thought, why not? Why can't I?
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
It seemed insurmountable. Like, this is impossible. I thought I was going to live to my death, working and in debt. I grew up knowing it. I was in the mindset of, can we afford it? That's the culture I grew up in. It's not, can we afford it? Can we afford the payments? That's the word. That's how I grew up. I'm like, this can't be done.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Well, I don't want to take the time to have to go through all of this. If I can just wipe it clean and have a $400 payment in one thing versus working and taking years. I mean, when we initially looked at the snowball calculator, we were at 2031 paying off all this debt. And we did it in 23 months. That's right. It was just...
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
It did. And we had, I mean, life happened. All the plumbing busted when we had a freeze in that rent house.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
It was. The renters had destroyed it. I mean, flooring was gone. There was a lot of fecal matter everywhere.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
But we did have a real estate pro, Ramsey Pro, and he helped us through the whole thing. I mean, I would work at night, get off work, go to the house, and clean. And then Casey worked a ton of overtime. We door dashed. You gave plasma.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Wow. But once you start going, and I used some debt-free trackers as well, it just kept us motivated of knocking this out and getting ahead.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
How does it feel to be free? Amazing. Amazing. It's so nice. I wish everyone could feel this way. It's awesome.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Our daughter made homecoming court, and we're like, we have to go buy two dresses now. And we could just afford it. This was within the past month.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah that's exactly good very cool and then uh the facebook group the baby steps community that y'all have really helped as well just looking through and seeing other people's stories which jg became a personality about a few months as we started and your story really helped motivate me a lot you and sam i was like okay they have way more debt than i did i don't feel nearly as bad let's do this i'm so glad so what would you say to that person who's listening
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
You can do it. It's not impossible.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Budget and start. Because if you just look at it as a whole, it is. It's overwhelming. You're like, we're never going to get out. But if you just start and really follow the steps and start with baby step one and then start with baby step two and pay off that little debt, each credit card down. Which is so exciting to us. Like, now we have more money to throw at that debt. That's right.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
I mean, we started at only being able to put an extra $200 a month towards this debt. By the end, we were throwing over $3,000 a month at it. Come on.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
co-workers everybody was pretty much cheering us on especially when they heard how much we owed I love that you're debt free my favorite part of your story is that cloud of depression has lifted off your house that makes me cry marriage is way better the transformation over the past two years is unbelievable I mean I had given up on our marriage practically but after counseling and this I mean we're stronger than we've ever been
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Hey, how are you guys? Sure, what's up? Hey, so I have a bit of a problem. I never thought this was going to happen. So in 2018, my father passed away, and he left me and my brother a 401k plan. Fast forward five years, I got a check in the mail this morning for about $245,000. The original account balance was about $300,000.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
And what's happening is they gave me the check, and I have to pay the IRS that $55,000 difference from the $300,000 and $245,000. I called them and asked them if they could roll it over, and they said once they issued the check, there's nothing that can be done. Who told them to issue the check? Not me. Apparently, the company my father worked for, I didn't read.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Yeah, they have a five-year plan, I guess, for the death benefit that if it's not rolled over to something else within five years, they must close the account and just issue a check-out. It was super confusing.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
The way they explained it to me, I was on the phone with them for an hour and a half this morning with my 401k company, and they pretty much said once we issue the check, there's nothing that can be done. There was no workaround. Yeah, there is. That's what I'm saying.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
No, so the way it worked is my account balance was $300,000. It started at like $215,000, and over the years I got it up to $300,000. They issued me a check for $245,000. They already took the money out and sent it to the IRS and issued me the difference.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Because the 401k plan my father was invested in had really good options. All of those same options exist in the open market. Yeah, and I have my own personal investment accounts, and I do it with that as well. You know, don't rock the boat if the boat shouldn't be rocked. So the way I figured is the 401k plan was perfectly fine. I kept it in there just because the investment options were fine.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
It was just a retirement account. I was treating it like a retirement account. I wasn't going to touch it until I was 65. I'm 30 now. What do you like? I make... I'm a truck driver, so I make about $110,000 a year, and I also own a small business that I make about the same.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
of gains because of this no way i mean it's like i never thought i would be upset to get a huge check in the mail but i did and well i'm upset because i should have had it rolled over it should have been huger he should have called me yeah all right so here's what here's what i'm going to suggest you do and i don't think it'll work but it's the only thing i can think of
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
And they said they notified me, but I – Oh, wait a minute.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Once a week, I check my accounts every day. They said they did, but I never got any notification. So you've never seen evidence of them?
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
That is unnecessary. $55,000 they took out.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
No, when I got my experiment, like the summary of what my original account balance was $300,000. They cut me a check for $245,000. I understand.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Oh, so I'm going to have to pay another $15,000.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
So I've lived with crippling anxiety for as long as I can remember. How do I stop it from constantly coming up in different areas of my life?
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
I cannot even function because I'm just crying. My mom left us when I was four. I truly felt like for a while I had no family.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
He triggered me a lot. Scared of losing Paul, scared of doing the wrong thing, scared of not being enough.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
How do I get my inner child out of this relationship? Because I feel like she's running the show.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
How is this, how is this burden?
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Not too much. Thank you so much for having me, Mr. Ramsey. Sure. So I had two questions regarding whole life insurance. I know your general principle, but I've never actually heard you discuss these two characteristics of whole life insurance or these two scenarios. So I was kind of curious of your opinion. Regarding the subject, if you don't mind.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Hey, thanks so much for taking my call. Appreciate it. Appreciate everything you do. Thank you. So basically, I'm calling about my mom. I'm very concerned for her. She has a bad track record for being financially smart. And recently, she just got into a relationship. It's only been about six months.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
And he has a lot of money, so she thinks that she wants to quit her job and live off of his money and then sell her house, and then that's her retirement. So I just don't really know how to give her advice, and she has asked me for advice.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
That's exactly my point as well. I'm telling her you need to get married before you decide to quit your job or decide to move in with him. But is there a date?
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
I don't care. He's a sugar daddy.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
He wants to take care of her and she, you know, he supports her in any decision she wants to do. She doesn't want to work anymore. That's OK. She'll. He'll pay for, you know, all the bills and she wants to sell her car. She also has a, she has 20,000 on her car right now. Um, 8,000 in credit cards. You know, she's not good with her money.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
I told her, I told her that one, she needs to get married if she wants to rely on his income.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Oh yeah. Um, for sure. It's hard for her to listen to me because I'm not married. Ah, okay. Another strand.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
Yeah, and that's another thing too.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
So the first question is like this. Today in America, if a person is a single person is earning $150,000 a year or less, they can put up to $7,000 into a Roth IRA. that grows tax-free. But at $150,000 after taxes, about 130,000, a single person pretty much anywhere in America still has plenty of money. So let's say you're putting money into investment brokerage account.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
And I'm also just not in a position financially to help her. She's asked me in the past for money.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Starts With Setting Aggressive Goals
He really likes the guy, so I haven't seen him, like, acting really.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Yeah. I have, uh, 940,000 in, in my savings, in my retirement, I have, um, Absolutely no debt. I own my current home. All my cars, everything. And I currently put 32% into savings right now. I wanted to know if I could knock that down to your recommended 15% and then take that extra money that I'm putting in extra in the savings to pursue the home. The home's going to be about $190,000.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
I've already cash flowed the property, the septic, the wells, all that kind of stuff. Cool. Now I've just got to get the actual home. Yeah, how long would it take?
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
I'm estimating like seven years. Whoa. That's a long time, man. It is. How old are you? I have two little kids.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Man, I do everything I possibly can. I have a good salary. I make $115,000. I have two side jobs. I'm actually starting up a little tutoring service to help people in my career. I have books that I've written. I gain revenue on. So, I mean, I don't know what else I can do.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
It will be a vacation home for me and my family. It's about an hour and a half into the mountains. It's my dream since I've been five years old. My biggest, and I feel urgency here, I have two little kids and I really want to get it done sooner than later so that they get to enjoy it. And that's the whole point. I could wait seven years.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
My gut's telling me to do it now, but my brain's telling me, be smart, cash flow it all, but I'll have an 18-year-old at that point. And it's like, will it be worth it?
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
We do travel a lot. This is our you know, the only thing that we actually splurge on is our, our traveling adventures. And, um, I mean, we, we do try to experience as much as we can. Um, Yeah, I mean, you're right. You're 100% right. I do not need this.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Great. Thank you for taking my call. Um, so what I'm curious, uh, to get your opinion on is a whole life insurance. I know that, uh, Ramsey solutions, um, is pretty adamantly against it and prefers term life. Um, But my question is, do you have an opinion or knowledge on using it for infinite banking, specifically for a business owner? A very brief backstory is I'm not a W-2 employee.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
I own my own business. My wife and I are living and giving like no one else. We are so thankful to Ramsey Solutions for helping us get there and just setting the example of how to live and give for the Lord. Interesting.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Yeah, and my business colleagues who I look up to are using the cash value in their whole life policy to continually borrow against to purchase real estate and grow their business. And I have never done that. We are a hard Dave Ramsey family. So this would be a new venture for me, but I'm curious if you guys have any knowledge on that.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
That is a great question and I'm unsure and that's why I'm here. Um, I think partially because I know what we are doing works, but if I could be doing something that is both giving my money, uh, interest monthly, um, and I'm able to use that same money essentially to buy real estate and I'm able to deduct the interest paid. Um, I guess I don't know.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Well, it's against cash instead of against my home. Equity.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Sure. Well, for the record, we're buying and owner financing homes for $30,000 and less. Believe it or not, they do exist. Is that your business? Yes. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
They are reasonably nice homes. Almost 100% cash. We have a couple $30,000 loans on properties on a five-year term. That's why I did it because it's five years and it's done.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
I'm looking to scale the business as debt-free as I can. This has taken me from an opportunity to set up my family to really setting up my kids for their future, all while providing people homes that they can own and have for their kids. I mean, everybody wins. It's just, do I want... Yeah. I struggle with taking out debt. I worked hard, and everything's paid off, and...
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Um, I just thought this could be a potential opportunity, I guess. And I've had multiple, multiple guys that are very, very successful, um, that use it.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Hey, guys. How are you? I'm starstruck right now. I listen to the show every day. Oh, wow.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Yeah, so I am a federal employee. I'm an attorney at one of the government agencies, and I am considering taking Trump's buyout offer, and I need some help on how to decide. I'm 26. I just got married in August of 2024. I make about $190,000 a year, and I'm debt-free. Okay. Me and my husband make $190,000 a year, and we're debt-free.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Yeah, so Trump is offering full pay and benefits through the 30th of September this year, but I'd have to stop working now. So the catch for me, oh, sorry, go ahead.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Yes, so I currently work two days in office and two days at home, and that's been able to be working for me right now because it's only two days, but I live about 100 miles from the office.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
About two and a half hours. And I've actually got an apartment in Silver Spring. So we're floating two rents.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
I do. And I do it because I really love my job. I can't really practice what I do anywhere else. I can practice it for the other side, but not for the government. So that's kind of my hesitation. I really love my job and I don't want to give it up. But my income as an attorney is a little bit more replaceable than my husband's.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Yeah. Right. One of us would have to quit. So we're weighing whether it's him and he would be without income right away or it's me. And I've got kind of seven months of runway.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Yeah, so I work in veterans administration benefits. And so it's only practiced in one court. It can be practiced nationwide, but I can only practice it for the veterans instead of the government if I take, you know, to buy out and try to find a new job. And then there's a question of I've never practiced that kind of law before. Will I like it? You know, they have a different set of skills.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
So he's in supply chain and logistics, which definitely can be practiced anywhere, but the federal government does most of the jobs in D.C., and there's a 90-day federal hiring freeze right now.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Um, he's so supportive and wonderful. He's kind of willing to do whatever, you know, we kind of think is best. I guess my hesitation is eventually I would like to maybe get to the point to hang, like you start my own practice. And so I would need, um, some rehearsal at a different firm.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Yeah. So it might be kind of a golden opportunity to get out of the lease that I'm in in D.C.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
It's a 60-day notice to get out of the lease. So a month-to-month, thankfully.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
I may only have assurances from the government.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Do you have kids? Yeah. No, we don't have kids. And kind of on the security front, we've actually been saving to buy a car in cash. So we've got our emergency fund plus the car cash fund. So I think together we've got about $40,000 cash tucked away, which kind of adds that extra layer of security to maybe go out and try something now.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Yeah. So after retirement and everything, we bring home like we see $7,600 a month. So, yeah, I think we could live on 85. That includes that's before funding our Roth IRAs as well.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Yeah, hi there. Thanks for taking my call. Big fan, first-time caller. I am 45 years old. I have about $690,000 in my 401k, and I owe about $460,000 to my house. I would like to consider paying off the mortgage, living life completely debt-free, and then reinvesting the monthly mortgage payment into mutual funds, stocks, IRAs, along those lines.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
I know the taxes and fees are significant, but so is living life debt-free without a mortgage payment. So I wanted to hear your thoughts.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Well, I think I'd just like to not have the mortgage payment there and be able to have the freedom to do more investing with the same money every month, essentially.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Uh, no, I've, I've, I've kind of run them a little bit. I ran it by my tax accountant. Um, she said it would cost me probably some of the neighborhood of about another 50 grand, maybe two. pay off the taxes and fees and penalties involved. So we'd have to take out probably some of the neighborhood of 500, maybe.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
I'll take homes about 11, and the mortgage payment's about three. Okay, that's reasonable.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
That's a good question. Yeah, maybe a few hundred.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Well, there's a lot of things in the budget, and I have four kids, a couple of them starting college fairly soon, so I'm doing some saving on that side of the thing.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Well, I've got one who's in now, and he's got probably three years left, and then I've got a 14-year-old who will probably start in four years, so we're probably nine or so years away from that.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Yep, just serving where we can as we can into more of a traditional savings.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Probably somewhere in the neighborhood of the three thousand, I would think.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Hey, guys. Thank you for taking my call. You bet. So I guess the quick of it is, About a year ago, I got an inheritance of about $350,000, and I fell in love with it, but I don't know if that's the best use for some of that money.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
I'm looking at the payments per month at about $3,000, and it's just a scary number to look at, and I'm not sure if that's the best place to put it right now or if I should keep it invested.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Well, that's the thing. I don't know if I should use the whole thing because it's all invested in mutual funds and ETFs right now. But I don't know if it's better to not have a mortgage payment. or if it's better to just put the 20% down and try to go just off of what I make.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
I've got $13,000 left on student loans and about $8,000 left on a car.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Yes, right now I've got about $35,000 saved up.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
So I moved back with my parents just to save some money. So I could stay here for, I mean, a couple more years, but it'd be nice to kind of be out on my own again.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Who left the inheritance? It was my uncle. He had passed away a few years ago and left it to myself and my sister.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Good afternoon. I'm looking to protect a home for my wife, and it requires a little bit of explanation. So if you could bear with me for just a moment. Sure. After a loss of a business and our home back in 2003, My father-in-law graciously acquired a home for us to live in with us making the payment amount to him as rent. But eventually, because of Parkinson's, I was forced to retire in 2019.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
And I had only worked about six years for an employer where money was set aside in a 401k. Prior to that, it was all self-employment. but along the way we managed to clear most debts, but we fell behind in rent to my father in law due to some smaller payments than agreed upon or at times no payment at all.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Um, in 2024 I pulled about half of the 401k out to catch up a little with my father in law and, He recently proposed that if we could arrange a second similar amount, he would be able to finish paying off the house and he would then relabel our arrangement as a rent to own agreement that was fulfilled and he would sign the house over to my wife.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
I took the second half of my 401k was only about $40,000 at that point after the COVID period and stuff. It took its toll and it was meager. And so I... I took the rest of a couple of weeks ago. I drained that last part of my 401k and gave that to him. I felt that was in exchange for a house. That was a good investment.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
No, that was what he asked for. Okay. i had taken out half in 2024 and he told me if i could give that same amount to him again one more time then he would consider things fulfilled and how old are you i am 61. okay so you gave him the money and he should have been able to pay off the mortgage and sign it over to you what happened instead well
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
In addition to progression of my Parkinson's, I've had one kidney removed due to cancer, and my remaining kidney is failing, as is my liver. And I worry that I may find myself faced with a transplant procedure, or worse, that it won't happen until after my wife has to retire, and that our insurance will be limited to Medicare only at that point. Mm-hmm.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
So I'm a person who likes a plan B, C, and D. And before my father-in-law signs that house over, I'm concerned about how to protect it for my wife. I have nothing to leave her except to leave her debt-free and a little bit of life insurance.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
No, no. But what I'm worried about is that in... If this home is in her name only, which it will be, is I undergo future medical procedures.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Okay. So, um, my husband and I have been married for, um, almost a year and we just found out that we are pregnant. Very unexpected. Thank you. Um, so I kind of have a two part question. Um, my first question is what do we need to do financially, uh, to prepare for the baby in the next nine months? And also, Should I quit school in order to be able to work full time?
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
I'm currently in grad school and I'm working in the evenings. I didn't take any loans. to do grad school. But I am, most of it is being paid for by my university. And then I only owe like a couple hundred dollars. I will owe only a couple hundred dollars at the end of the semester. So I'm just trying to get some advice on that.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
So my, I'm getting my master's in Bible and theology. I Up until this point, I've been thinking that I want to teach. I don't know if I'd want to teach like higher ed or like junior seniors in high school and just start teaching with kind of a higher paying salary. But I also don't know with the baby if I want to stay at home. So that's part of my contention with, you know, should I keep going if
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
When the baby comes, I'm like, no, I really want to stay at home. So, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
So that's kind of been a rocky situation over the past couple of months. He left. His full-time job, he was the director of soccer operations for a local pro soccer team, and it was just a really bad situation. He was just being treated pretty rough and was not being compensated for it either. So he left in November.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
He started coaching at a local high school, just like a private Christian school, and they had told him... in his initial interview, like, since you're going to be a head coach, we want you to be on staff full-time. We just don't know what that will look like yet.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
So at the moment, well, ever since then, we've been getting kind of stipend money, but we've kind of been struggling because you've been waiting on the full-time thing to come. So what's your plan on it?
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Well, so he just actually got a job because he had –
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
been looking for anything after probably a month it was kind of like okay we kind of we can't really sit around at this point so he'd been looking for anything um but there he wasn't having much luck so he just picked up a serving job just to like bring in some money okay um so we're kind of just like bare bones at the moment but on december we got a ton of money for christmas we had we are very blessed with our families they helped us a lot um
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
And then for the next few months, we actually, with rent, are getting help from our church.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Well, I am working at night, so that... Yeah, but you just laid out the whole financial framework.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Food, rent, everything. Yeah, so our food is, I've been trying to stay under $700.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Yeah, so our, yeah, to me, like minimum, and I know what you're going to say, we have not been having insurance. I am adding that, though, because of the baby. So I kind of, in our budget, included an extra $200 because he also will need, he needs vision insurance really bad. So it's our, like, break even is about $4,300. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
So I bring in about two grand just serving at nights. I work five days a week. The restaurants only open five days a week. And then because of the stipend money we've been getting, it's really been about, like, Kind of $3,500 because he's been also subbing a little bit at the school just over the past couple months. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Not at the moment, but I'm visiting my family right now and my mom and I are working on that tonight because we know it is a necessity.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
So something's not right. I'm sorry. Yeah, no, I meant I didn't say that right. I meant probably like fifteen hundred.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
So our cards are, credit cards are about, Almost $14,000, a little under. His car, my car's paid off. His car is almost also $14,000. And then we have $85,000 in student loans, but we are on the safe plan. Okay. And since I went back to school, they put mine on pause, so I haven't been paying anything. But his payment is only like $25 a month. Right.
The Ramsey Show
There’s No Fast Track to Financial Freedom
Hey, how's it going? Going good. Yeah, I have... I'm glad I got you to, I, uh, absolutely love the show. So thank you very much. Um, all right. So, um, I guess I'll just give you my background. I have a question about, should I pursue building a second home? Okay. Um, up in the mountains here in Colorado.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Yes. So would it be best to try to knock that down, like pay off all of that, or take out a loan for the four years of medical school?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
If I leave now, I make, um, right now I make 104, almost 105. Um, but I also, we have a lot of overtime. I work in healthcare and I'll be making like gross about 11,000 in the overtime this year. We have a pension. If I leave now, it'll be about $400 a month as opposed to possibly like, I think I figured out possibly $1,800 a month. So the overtime, they're 403B. They don't start matching.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Well, hello, Dave. How are you today?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Okay, I have a question regarding long-term health care insurance. My husband and I, back when we were married, bought whole life insurance policies because that's what our parents did for us. So we changed them over on and on. Our financial advisor is suggesting that we cash those in and invest in a long-term care insurance for nursing home and that in the future.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Just wondering what your thoughts are on that situation.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Yes, yes, I would be fine, yes, because that does not include what his – so he's a minister, and he would get, like, a retirement through there also. That survives him? Yes, yeah. He cannot collect that until he's 67 1⁄2. But you can collect it if he dies. Yes, I can.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
No, she suggested several different ones. Good. Okay, that's good. Here's what you get today.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Yeah. What our concern was, it would swing us up to quite a big payout every month for this insurance. And so just, you know.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
$679 a month for both. That would be $200,000 long-term care.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
What are they valued at right now?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Between the two of us, around $52,000.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
I have to be there a full year before they start matching. And what are they going to pay you? What?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
It's in upstate New York. It's in Binghamton, New York.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Hi, Dave. I'm pretty good. How are you?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Well, uh, I'm a disabled veteran. I got my disability in 2020 and I got a, uh, you know, a sizable check and wanted to buy a house. with that. Um, and I make about, you know, 4,200 a month on the disability, which is very good. So I ended up just buying a piece of land because the whole process of like trying to find a good real estate agent didn't work out well.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
And then I waited to build and then here I am four years later and I have not built a house yet. There's no utilities on the property yet. I'm living in my travel trailer on the property legally. But I still don't have a house, and we're trying to work through the process. My dad is now helping me. I cannot afford really to build on my own. I need him to help me. I need a co-signer.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
And you can't afford to build. Yeah, I can't afford to build.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Pretty much, and so the property, it's in a city, you know, it's a half acre, so it's a great size. I bought it for $250,000 with 25% down, which was required by the lender. So now I only owe about $160,000 on it, and it's worth $265,000, or it's assessed by the county at $265,000. Then it's worth $365,000 or $400,000. It would probably sell for more than I bought it for. Oh, I think so.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
It really isn't. Housing is, and I go back frequently because I have an elderly father and my family's there. Really, there's a lot more taxes. Income tax is going to be more than what I pay here. Utilities, I was just looking at my dad's utility bill, and they tax a lot compared to what... They do here in Pennsylvania.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Well, but yeah, the concern is that right now I'm paying about a quarter of my monthly income for just the land loan. Yeah, so sell the land. Yeah. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Hi, how you doing? First time caller, long time listener. Glad to be on the show. Well, thank you. How can we help? Um, okay. So I, I'm a tax professional. I'm an enrolled agent. Um, recently on the news, I've been hearing that, uh, in order to reduce government and efficiencies, um, and, uh, the, the Trump and team might remove income taxes and replace them with tariffs. That's all good.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Um, you know, that's, that's okay. But for a tax professional, how would I, I'm 33 years old. I have like about five years experience in the field. How would I facilitate a career change if that were to happen? I don't think it might happen, but just in case it does.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Yeah, maybe some other things in accounting that are not taxes, like maybe audit.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Yeah, I've been in the field, and the whole time I've been in the field, I was thinking that there's only two things that are true is death and taxes. Well, now we know one of them might not be true.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Okay, because I was concerned about the pension, losing that money for the pension, as well as the overtime that they don't give. Like, I wouldn't make overtime there. I wouldn't have to work as much.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
So my question is, is it worth dipping into our emergency fund while we fight insurance to make sure I'm okay medically? Um, a little more into that. I think I'm having an ectopic pregnancy and my husband's all for dipping into the emergency fund because he's already done the math. He's 20 steps ahead. And instead of fighting insurance, he would rather just make sure I'm okay.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Literally Thursday and then fighting insurance for a month. And I have to go in for emergency surgery.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
You know, I'm used to the money, and I got to be honest, Dave, everything that you speak is how my parents raised us. I mean, it's to a T. So I just want to make sure I have enough money going, you know, moving back. Am I what?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
It would be initially just for the ultrasound, it's $500. And I had a really bad spending habit. I love shopping. I get it from every female I'm related to. So spending money now feels like, A heart attack in my chest.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
I'm in rehab. I'm a speech therapist.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
I can, but I did side hustle for like 22 years.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Hi, Dave. Thanks for calling. Sure. What's up? Ironically, I'm a long-time listener, all right, and didn't know it, but I... followed the steps and have, have, uh, without formal introduction to those steps or, and I didn't realize that I was, I guess, because by accident, as I look back on it, all right, geez, I said, I've been doing exactly what you're talking about and what you outlined.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Great, great advice. I agree with, uh, with 90%, 95% of everything you said, uh, cash is king. Uh, My question is, once we get to your level or we get to the level that you would think is the top, what's your thoughts on maintaining that? It's a whole lot harder to compound at this level than it was to get here.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
And I'm just amazed at what's going on in our world today and the leaks and the shots that everybody's taking to take it away from you.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Okay, that's what I wanted to get clear. Because the thing with the pension and the overtime, that was kind of throwing me off.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
I know very much what you're saying.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
20 years, and when I first heard you, I became debt-free, and we moved to Maine. We paid off our home in 10 years, and it's given us financial freedom, so thank you.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
The reason I'm calling is I have an older cousin. I'm her only living relative. She has left everything in her will to me. She has a home that's paid for that's worth about $150,000. She has a $30,000 HELOC on there that's variable. She owes back taxes for last year of 4,300 and she's going to owe another 4,300 come due in January.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
She has $30,000 worth of unpaid credit cards that she stopped paying on about three years ago. She did have somebody convinced her to lease a Jeep and she paid that off. But then she went back to them and took a really high interest to loan out. And, um, I mean, we're just kind of sitting here wondering what we should do. If she lost his home, she'd have nowhere to go.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
And she's not in overly the best of health. she does have an income of $3,500 a month that we've been trying to convince her to budget all these the last three years. Yeah. And she has not done anything really to help herself.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Well, we're wondering, would it behoove us to pay the taxes or, And the HELOC off, knowing that... Knowing that she's going to go borrow it again in summer?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Well, her husband, who is deceased.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Hey, I appreciate it. So me and my wife have come to the agreement that my current position as a, I'm a business owner and it's not likely to get us to the goals that we've achieved, that we've set, that we want to end up in our lives. And my question to you is my wife is not willing to move away to find the right job that does that. She wants to stay close to her family.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
She's very close with them. They're close with her. And I'm close with them as well, but I'm more willing to go out and find that job, you know, far away from here if that's what it is. And she's very resilient to making that change. And there's not much job offers nearby where we live, but there are, you know, an hour, hour and a half away from here. You're in Houston?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
I'm in Brenham. It's about an hour and a half outside of Houston. So Houston's my nearest big town.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
I'm a mechanical engineer. I've done... I've got experience in oil and gas, and I've got experience in manufacturing in aerospace safety systems. I'm actually looking right now for a role potentially in oil and gas, but also in – I know that there's a lot of space exploration that is – So what would you be making in the new role approximately?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
I would be a fourth-year engineer, so somewhere between $80,000 to $90,000.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
It's a carpentry business. That was a passion that I jumped into, and it varies, of course, based on the job. I've been able to maintain around 65 to 70 a year, but that's starting to show we've got kids, a boy, and we want to have more kids, and that's starting to show that there's something else that needs to kind of take care of the expenses than just what I'm making now in the job.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
We've been married about three years now. And she's funny enough, she's actually a German citizen with a green card. And so there's, it's funny, I talked to her about finances and stuff. And there seems to be a disconnect where obvious things to me are not so obvious to her. And I see it as from her German background, it's like very different there. And there's not
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
You know, no, not as much of her fan.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Part of the German family. Yeah. She's got family all over the world, but, um, the, the, her sister who she's very close to, they were her sponsors coming over. I met her through her family. And, uh, so I ended up marrying her, but we're close to her family. Who's here in Brenham. Yes, sir.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Her sister and her brother-in-law, they own a property in Brennan.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Very true, very true. Her background with her family is very rough, a lot of bad stuff with her parents. Her sister was her mother, acting mother kind of thing. You guys have just got to sit down and talk about, okay, these things all don't go together.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Oh, no, yeah, and it's not so much she's willing to move.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
She's faithful as a wife, but she also has this.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
we're about 70,000 in between a car car loan and then, um, like credit cards and other loans. And then, um, we make like one 13 together. So I've got it. I outlined the budget of how to get it. Like we can get this done and probably about, you know, two years, but he just keeps like blocking me. And I'm like, let's, we don't, it's, I don't know why.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
He just When I tried to talk to him about it this weekend, his response was, well, just hand me over the finances, and we'll get separate accounts, and I'll pay what I pay out of my paycheck, and then you pay what you pay out of your paycheck. So that was the most recent reply.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Yeah. Yeah. I appreciate your enthusiasm.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we've never had everything separate. You don't want it to be separate.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Hi, Dave. I'm great. Thanks for taking my call. I feel blessed today talking to the both of you.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
So I just wanted some financial advice or thoughts. I'm 54. I've never been married. I have no children. I live in a different state than where I grew up. And as I'm aging, I'm realizing that I will likely move back to my home state to have that support in aging in about 10 to 11 years when I retire.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
What's up? I know that. So I'm 23, and I'm saving up to buy a house. And I was looking for guidance because I'm the first time buying, and I have no idea where I'm going. I've almost got my 20%, and that's where I'm at.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
I've got $26,000. And I'll have the rest of it by mid-January.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
What's the rest? About $4,000 or $5,000. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Yes. And I do nothing but work. 60, 70 hours, sometimes 80 hours a week. Right now it's grind time.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
What you're saying about living like nobody else?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
All that, I'm just working like a dog right now so I can enjoy a little bit of my food.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
That was going to be my next. I saved roughly my next. After I buy it, I was just going to pick up a side.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
okay that's that's reasonable that's still okay yeah that's good you're you're listen dude you're killing it i'm so proud of you way to go who taught you to be this smart um honestly i honestly nobody like i'm just like and it's not like a bad thing like i was just i mean kind of you i took your class was in our high school there we go and i kind of remember and then i i had we had this class called deca it's like a
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
I was student. I was the president of the class senior year, and I went to nationals. It was supposed to be in Nashville, but COVID hit.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
But a job opportunity came up this past fall that I applied for and wasn't expecting to get, but they did offer me the job. And I just have some financial concerns about it and not sure if it's wise for me to move back now. So one is the salary. And this is through negotiation. They're offering me what I was making last year at my current employer. Um, currently I have a pension.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
My price is between like $150 and $200. That's a good price range.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Hey. Hey, Dave. How are you doing today?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
So I just wanted to come on and just ask a quick question. You know, I took your class last year with a Sunday school class, but I'm a recent graduate from Clemson. I just graduated in May. Congratulations. Thank you, sir. And I wound up in a pretty good situation financially with my present work. But I'm pursuing medical school in the near future.
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
You know, I'm looking at possibly starting in about two years from right now. Um, but I'm just wondering, you know, how is the best way to save up for something of that magnitude?
The Ramsey Show
Debt Is Never the Problem, It’s Always the Symptom
Um, I'm making about 60,000 salary and then, but I, but I think, um, with, when, when overtime comes, which is I'll get salary in overtime, um, I could easily, you know, we're working extra hours, probably wind up in the 70 to 80 range.
The Ramsey Show
Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
She's lied about stuff. She's hidden money, just all kinds of stuff.
The Ramsey Show
Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
But right now, just recently, the kids were taken away, and our oldest son was granted guardianship of them.
The Ramsey Show
Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
From both, although I already did not have any custody or contact with them due to other court proceedings that were already ongoing.
The Ramsey Show
Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
They're... 13, 15, and 16. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
It's in court now. Basically, I'm trying to... What's in court today? Well, the guardianship that my son has is temporary. I'm trying to support him in keeping that, to keep custody away from her. But I'm being told that I may be facing charges soon, and... It seems like all these lawyers that are involved have kind of, they want to prolong this fight.
The Ramsey Show
Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
And I'm the one who doesn't have an attorney, so I'm the target, you know. It's kind of what it seems like.
The Ramsey Show
Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
The court, so I actually filed for full custody of the children at one point, and the court refused to have a temporary order hearing. and said that instead we would go to actual trial in three months' time, I think at that point.
The Ramsey Show
Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
And then a few weeks later, my ex-wife went and filed for emergency ex parte custody with a bunch of false allegations that she made up, and it was granted without me even knowing that there was anything going on. I was never allowed to present any evidence against those allegations. It was just assumed that I'm guilty, and they were taken away.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
Yeah, below dry. Whenever the children were taken from me, I started borrowing large amounts of money to hire an attorney to try to get this put back on track. And how much debt do you have today from that? Right now, I believe it's right around $70,000.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
Hey, how you doing? Thanks for taking my call, Dave. Sure. How can I help? I'm with some recent shakeups at work. I'm a little concerned that I'm putting too much money into retirement. I'm 45 and I'm putting around 20%. You have a house mortgage? No, I rent. I have a house fund that I hope to buy a house outright when I pull the trigger on it.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
Which is kind of why I've been paying a little closer attention to the retirement account lately.
The Ramsey Show
Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
Okay, okay. Do you think I should still go straight –
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
Okay. Yeah, because I was just kind of wondering because it feels like that's going to grow to...
The Ramsey Show
Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
Hi. Uh, thank you for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
Um, I have a question about parent plus loan. Um, my dad took it out for me and my two older sisters. And, um, I've since graduated. This was 16 years ago that I graduated. Um, but anyway, they're kind of, my parents are getting to retirement now and, um, It's basically, like, my dad always finds a way to throw in there that, like, he's paid on these Parent PLUS loans, like, our whole lives.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
Well, I mean, he's 28 now, I believe. He's got a good job. He's married. He's got a house, you know. Now, we haven't even gotten to child support. I've been ordered to pay child support for quite a while now. I've been paying that, which is part of the reason why I've not been able to hire an attorney because I'm having to pay almost a quarter of my income in child support.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
And just, like, saying that it's the reason that he's broke and that he doesn't have money for life insurance. And he's, you know, feeling the pinch of, like, retirement. And I basically don't know what to do because I don't really know how much he owes. It's all like he just likes to throw it in there and kind of like,
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
He's upset about it, but my mom won't let us pay them because basically all three of my sisters, if we can't all pay, she doesn't want any of us to pay them back.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
So it's been a long time, and I don't really remember what the agreement was for me. But I know for my oldest sister, I just recently talked to her about it. My oldest sister, who's eight years older than me, she said that when they first did it for her, it was kind of like, we'll pay for the Parent Plus loan while you're in school, but then after that, we want you to pick up the payment.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
She did for, like, maybe a year. And then when she got married and she had a baby, like, my parents kind of just, like, relieved her of that responsibility.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
Right. And then my other sister did the same thing. She paid for a little bit after she graduated. But then since my older sister wasn't paying... My parents were like, well, it's not fair for us to make you pay. And so she stopped paying. But, like, by the time it got to me, none of them were paying, so they never made me pay.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
The thing is, he consolidated them and stretched them out over this long period of time, which is why, like, it's also hard to pay because they're all not together.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
I think it's in the $40,000 range for all of them.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
It has, like, pushed us away, like, you know.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
I make fifty thousand a year or fifty to sixty.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
I have two jobs. Yes. What's your husband make? He's about the same.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
Our house, and we're expecting a third baby on the way.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
I do have a car note right now.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
But other than that, yeah, I owe 26 on that.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
Besides the car note and the house, we're good, and we do have a savings.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
So I'm trying to get it arranged where now he can be paid the child support by both of us, both of the parents.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
Hello. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can I help? Uh... I'm debating on getting in a situation where I may be going further into debt to pay for attorneys to try to protect my kids further. It's kind of been a big struggle.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
But the learning from this... It's been this way since he took it out.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
That's exactly that is exactly what I want. That's exactly what I'm trying to fight for. I appreciate that.
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Dumb Debt Decisions Won't Accelerate Your Financial Growth
It's been going on about six years. My ex-wife is a very abusive person. She's psychologically, emotionally, and it's affected all of our kids. The divorce was finalized. About a year ago. Took five years to do a divorce? Yeah. Why? Because she wouldn't agree to anything, wanted to litigate everything, had agreements at different points, and then she refused to sign the papers.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И, Джаред, я хочу сказать это, потому что ты это упомянул, и как верующие в этой комнате, я думаю, что мы довольно духовно консистентны. Библия не говорит ничего хорошего о вреде. Ничего. Каждый раз, когда мы говорим о вреде, это в негативной форме. Это не грех. Мы все еще идем в небо, все будет хорошо, если у тебя все еще есть кредитные карты. Все хорошо в этом смысле.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Но мудрость, которая приходит каждый раз, когда это говорится, это в негативной форме, и поэтому, в этом смысле, я бы сказал, давайте поспорим на духовную убежденность, которую мы все верим здесь, от чего-то, что консистентно, и это избавление от вреда. Вы ходите к чему-то, что вас вдохновляет глубже и глубже в пол, правильно?
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И поэтому, я думаю, что для вас, если вы затягиваете тему, я вдохновена этим, потому что я думаю, что ваши цифры там.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И поэтому я хочу, чтобы вы стояли на линии, потому что Кристиан будет выбирать, и мы дадим вам каждый доллар премиум, И я хочу, чтобы вы сняли эти кредитные карты, и я хочу, чтобы это был момент, когда вы все это сделаете, и вы будете говорить, что нет больше. Мы не идем к этим кредитным картам, чтобы сделать минимальные оплаты и сделать, чтобы они были. Потому что вы не должны.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Вы имеете тысячи долларов, и вы имеете очень благословенную ситуацию, даже в этом пасторском ролике, чтобы иметь оплату на зарплату. Я говорю, что вы в очень хорошей позиции. Вы будете работать много. Вы, наверное, устали. Джаред работает 90 часов в неделю.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Но за период времени, я имею в виду, если вы, если вы выиграли, я имею в виду, 5 тысяч на некоторые из этих, я имею в виду, вы можете это выиграть. Я имею в виду, месяц после месяца. И так... Редактор субтитров А.Семкин Корректор А.Кулакова
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Редактор субтитров А.Семкин Корректор А.Кулакова 825-5225. И на этом канале, ребята, мы всегда говорим о вещах, которые directly affect you, и мы всегда фильтрируем это через то, как мы учим денег здесь, что это серия baby steps. Вы можете услышать о baby step 1 или baby step 6. Вы можете услышать о вещах, как Financial Peace University.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Мы вообще не имели ни налогов для колледжа. В детском школе мы имели налоги. Специалисты, поселения, мы вообще не имели налогов, потому что мой муж служил в армии, поэтому они платили за это. Так что только 4 года детского налога мы получили миллион долларов вместе.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Вы можете услышать, что мы используем линго, как Gazelle Intensity или некоторые вещи, и вы думаете, что нахер они говорят? Итак, вот что. Если вы новичок, и вы хотите подобраться в рамзи baby steps, мы желаем вам зайти на ramsysolutions.com и нажать на кнопку get started.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Окей, и что будет происходить здесь, мы будем помогать вам решить свой лучший следующий шаг для вашего финансового путешествия, based on exactly where you're at today. Вы будете получать какую-то учебу, какую-то знание, мы будем поставить вас на правильный трек. Так что помните, зайдите на ramsysolutions.com и нажмите на кнопку get started. Ладно, давайте перейдем прямо к телефонной линии.
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У нас есть Марк из Лос-Анджелеса, Калифорния. Эй, Марк, что происходит? Я уезжаю в твою сторону сегодня вечером, Марк, в Лос-Анджелес.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
350, хорошо. Очень хорошо, хорошая зарплата. И ты сказал, что это будет твой третий автомобиль?
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Окей. Да, потому что наша рука в руке, Марк, это то, что мы не хотим больше, чем 50% вашего взаимодействия за год, annual взаимодействия, чтобы было больше, чтобы у вас были моторы и колеса. Так что вы хотите хотя бы половину...
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Хорошо, но вы выигрываете много денег, верно? Я надеюсь, что да.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
но вы делаете, я имею в виду, вы делаете очень много денег, так что вы будете под этим, да, только чуть-чуть под этим правилом, если вы хотите, потому что мы просто не хотим так много вклада в вашу цену, чтобы быть в, вы знаете, вещах, которые имеют колеса и моторы, потому что они tend to go down in value so quickly, так что, но, я имею в виду, технически, да, вы в этом пространстве, вы, вы, у вас есть хорошие другие зарплаты, у вас есть бюджетный фонд и все,
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Это так, но я думаю, что вы делаете это отлично, и я думаю, что есть вещи, которые являются частью финансовой жизни, и инфляция — это часть жизни, и я думаю, что когда вы в ситуации, как ваша, где вы действительно хорошо работаете с вашим денег, вы были умными с вашими деньгами, Продолжение следует...
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И очень тяжелая работа этой основной структуры, которая говорит о том, что мы собираемся избавиться от вреда, иметь бюджетный фонд, иметь другие зарплаты на руках, мы будем заниматься зарплатой. Я имею в виду, что вы все это делаете так хорошо, вы делаете великолепное деньги. Так что это все в ратиях, и это не... Да, я имею в виду, что вы в этой формуле, вы в этой линии.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Позвольте меня спросить, Марк, потому что мы всегда... Это то, что Винстон и я иногда говорим, если мы идем купить что-то, что-то большее, и мы говорим, о, боже мой. Так что, скажем, вы купили это, и у вас нет инсурности, оно сгорело на земле, вы никогда его не получите. Вот и все.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я думаю, что люди думают, что мы говорим «нет» все время.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Мы всегда говорим, что это не так. Мы говорим, что это не так, это не так, это не так, это не так, это не так. И я люблю это.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я хочу подсказать это, потому что я думаю, что иногда, ты знаешь, Рэйчел, это интенсивно, что мы учим и preaching здесь. Это интенсивно. И я думаю, что иногда люди следуют за этой интенсивностью, прошли baby step 3, и они не берут эти моменты, чтобы сказать, окей, я заплатил свою вреду, я спасла это деньги, я могу сделать что-то, что-то для себя. Это правильно.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я люблю это, Марк. Я благодарю, благодарю за звонок, потому что, как ты говорила, Джейда, это может быть, это почти психологическое игру, что, как только ты сокращаешься и спасаешься, и отказываешься, и говоришь нет, нет, нет, сказать да себе может быть сложно, и это может быть трудно, поэтому я думаю, смотря на математику, Я люблю это. Математика не имеет эмоций. Я люблю это. И...
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Смотрите, не забывайте о экономике, не забывайте о том, что происходит в мире, когда вы хорошо делаете. Не забывайте, не забывайте, что это напугает вас в том, что вы не можете себя наслаждаться. Не забывайте, не забывайте, что это напугает вас в том, что вы не можете себя наслаждаться. И это происходит на каждом стороне.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Вы знаете, если вы пытаетесь собрать деньги, когда вы пытаетесь сделать правильное дело, это всегда правильный момент, чтобы сделать правильное дело. Так что не забывайте ничего, не забывайте ничего, что напугает вас. Редактор субтитров А.Семкин Корректор А.Егорова Спасибо, что были с нами. Вы слушаете «Рамзи-шоу». Я Джейд Варшава, ваша ко-хост, и я здесь с Рэйчел Круз. Это отличный момент.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Вообще нет. Мы хотели убедиться, что наша жизнь в небольшой степени, до того, как мы даже подумаем об открытии нашей собственной.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Друзья, если у вас есть звонки, мы хотим взять ваши звонки. Номер здесь 888-825-5225. И давайте возьмем звонок, Рэйчел. Давайте посмотрим, что Меган говорит о Далласе, Техасе. Что происходит, Меган?
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Это будет требовать намного больше капитала. Вы только что сказали «мы», так что я не знала, если вы работаете вместе или вы просто идете и получаете отдельные работы. Мы работаем вместе в практике. Но мы их не владеем. И вместе вы сделаете 650 тысяч? Это будет минимум, да. Когда это начнется? В сентябре.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Ты знаешь, первое, я так извиняюсь, это звучит просто невыносимо. Это так трудно, навигировать на потерю такой. И, ты знаешь, я просто думаю о том, что в большинстве ситуаций, особенно в отношении денег, мы бы сказали людям не двигаться быстро, ты знаешь, возьми время для жадности и... И я чувствую, что в такой же ситуации это и действует.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я не чувствую, что вы должны быть в шоке, чтобы сделать что-то. Как вы сказали, не было даже года, не было долгое время. Я в порядке с вами, делая то, что вам нужно сделать, чтобы процессировать это, если это остаться дома немного дольше. В то время как ты там, я думаю, что важно, чтобы ты подумал о плане того, что будет происходить в следующем.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Нет, ты не неровная, Меган, с денег. Но ты дочь, которая потеряла ее маму. Так что этот мозг, процесс, который нужно пройти, это очень много. Было ли у вас, возможно, что-то, что вы потратили, чтобы почувствовать себя лучше, чтобы почувствовать себя хорошо? Было ли у вас такого уровня? Я не уверена.
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Возможно, вы можете сказать да или нет, но я не хочу, чтобы вы сидели и абсолютно отказывались от этого. Я имею в виду, что вы прошли трагедию. И я думаю, что вы начинаете... Как вы говорите, и вы видите, что мне нужно получить деньги под контролем. Мне нужно начать смотреть, как я могу быть взрослым, но здесь мой грустный папа.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Но я бы сказала, что с этим отношением, Меган, мы любим наших родителей и уважаем их. но он тоже не может быть твоей ответственностью, ты не можешь быть тем, что спасает его, потому что тогда это то, как ты будешь проводить всю твою жизнь, и он должен быть способен делать эту работу сам, и он может, он может жаловаться и чувствовать себя солдатом, и все это, и ты можешь быть
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я хочу, чтобы вы знали, Меган, вы... Вы не можете быть его ответственностью. Он не может быть вашей ответственностью. Не может быть такой подопечности. Там должна быть такая разрушительность, что вы должны стоять на вашей стороне в какой-то момент. Но, опять же, вы не должны спрятаться от этого. Мы не говорим вам, чтобы спрятаться от этого. Но я хочу, чтобы вы подумали об этом.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Так скоро. И это гарантированные работы и зарплаты?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Вы не плохая дочь, или вы не будете бедным или кривым, если вы скажете, что вам нужно получить свои собственные квартиры и начать делать свою жизнь так, и все это. Это не...
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Это то, что вы будете делать? Да. Это производство. Это будет минимум. Если вы будете делать больше, вы будете получать больше.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я люблю то, что ты смотришь на свои деньги, и ты понимаешь, что что-то должно меняться, чтобы ты мог стоять на своем месте, когда это время придет. И я люблю то, что ты смотришь на... Ты используешь каждый доллар?
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A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
у вас есть хорошая церковь, хороший пастор или терапевт, или кто-то, кто говорит об этом процессе вашей мамы?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Это отличная новость этой истории, Ами. Так что, для вас, я бы работала на 70 тысяч, и вы бросаете все это на эту вредность, и вы получите ее оплату за месяц и полтора, и сделаете это. И потом идете прямо в солнце, сделая 600 тысяч долларов в год без вреда.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да, потому что, я имею в виду, что большим целью тоже, я чувствую себя как доктор Джон Делони немного, но чтобы стать целыми людьми в этом путешествии, Меган, да, там может быть такой уровень лечения, и поэтому для вас это может выглядеть как следующий шаг, чтобы сказать, что, дядя, я буду сидеть, и вот даты, ты знаешь, в мае этого года, вот мой план, и я еще хочу...
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я буду там для тебя, и я буду поддерживать тебя, где я могу. И, Меган, ты знаешь, как ты звонишь в этот шоу, специально с твоим денег, как Джейд говорила, и тогда ты начнешь, ты даже можешь начать сейчас работать на Baby Steps.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Ты можешь начать сейчас, у тебя есть EveryDollar-апп, начни смотреть все твои кредитные деньги, выложи их, выложи машину, держи вашу зарплату, не кашай ее, но у тебя есть 15 тысяч долларов каши, что... Да, это большой шаг.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И вы можете включить все ваши цифры, и вы можете начать видеть датчик, когда вы будете бесплатны, датчик, когда у вас будет 3-6 месяцев снижения. И это что-то, что будет создавать много уверенности и поможет вам увидеть, что случится, если бы я поставил больше на свою вредность, что случится, если бы я поставил меньше на свою вредность.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Так что вы можете действительно устанавливать эту таймлайн, чтобы это могло стать реальностью для вас, двигаясь вперед. Да, и подождите, Меган, потому что мы дадим вам и вашему папе...
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Спасибо, что присоединились к нам сегодня. Это все для сегодняшнего шоу. Будьте уверены, что присоединитесь к нам в следующий раз. Когда приходится менять деньги, вы можете сказать, что вы не сделаете это, но, пожалуйста, не скажите, что вы не сможете.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Мы закрыли дом на 24 августа. Поздравляю! Спасибо. Я не знаю, как мы это сделали, но мы пошли с тем, что у нас было. Мы были немного беспокоены, просто хотели выйти из 2100-долларового рейса. И теперь мы находимся на 1400-долларовом рейсе. Первый раз домашние покупатели. Мы вместе с ними в шестом классе. Мы 37 лет. У нас есть два родственника, которые только начали, двое детей. О-о-о.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Твои цифры звучат очень большими, но в рационе это то же самое, как человек, который звонит и получает 60 тысяч долларов в год и имеет 100 тысяч долларов в бюджет. Это звучит много, потому что миллион долларов это просто большая цифра, но в рационе это то же самое. Как вы живете сейчас? Скажите мне о ваших цифрах сейчас. Что стоит заработать? Что вы берете сейчас?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я дала ему, чтобы он мог ехать на работу. Он делал это, конечно, каждый день. И теперь у него нет транспорта, чтобы ехать туда, потому что мне нужна машина, чтобы привезти детей на работу, на школу, потому что они только начали школу в этом году. Итак, он не работает сейчас. Это мой муж. Но я так боюсь, и я надеюсь, что он смогет начать что-то, правильно? Очень скоро.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
And so now we're having to pay again, you know, on the 1st.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
The big thing is if he... So we're hoping he can get into this new job next week.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
а пекарь амплитюр пьян пик пик тулы ер киберзмарнинг уорр кофе пик эйти агер как на уэлл на кантри фарм лайф битвы луи монет битвы луи гетти пик пик пик лэссер амплитюр амплитюр амплитюр амплитюр амплитюр И дом, который мы пытались найти в тот момент, продажа не прошла, так что я не должен был вывезти новый контракт. Мы просто поехали в лагерь.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И мы получили автомобиль, и мы просто продолжали искать дом. Мы нашли дом, и здесь мы его еще имеем.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я не знаю, честно говоря. Я уверена, что это будет меньше, чем мы все думаем.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да, вы будете подниматься на это, но вы просто пытаетесь остановить пенсии и остановить депрессию.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да, мы не имеем никаких поздних пенсий на это. Мы могли сделать это в прошлом месяце, но это месяц, который сейчас появится. Этот месяц в ноябре будет нашим ударом. Я не знаю, как мы это сделаем. Когда вы узнаете, если ваш муж имеет работу? Он найдет его в понедельник. И я хочу идти с 90% на него. Да, хорошо. Да, и это будет пей-кат.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Так что я хочу... Первое, что я хочу, чтобы вы делали, это... У вас многое происходит.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Это еще один вопрос. Спасибо, что задавали, потому что это будет мой следующий вопрос. Потому что мы сейчас, технически говоря, владеем домом, но мы не платим за него. Итак, мы планируем, ну, в начале, перед тем, как я начала слушать вашу программу, я хотела бы либо заработать на этом месте, либо купить еще одно место, где будет наш новый работник, потому что мы должны переехать.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И я могу сказать, что вы говорите, что вы просто... И вы просто продолжаете. Да. И я хочу немного освободить вашу голову сегодня вечером, когда вы выйдете из телефона. Вы сидите, используйте все номера, открыть каждый доллар-бюджет, если у вас нет, Аустин получит его. И я хочу, чтобы вы использовали все номера для вашего зарплаты и его зарплаты на 62 тысячи. Хорошо?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Тогда я хочу, чтобы вы продавали эти цифры, только в случае того, чтобы он не получил эту работу, и подумать, что нам нужно, чтобы мы смогли... Потому что, когда у вас есть эти цифры в голове, Александра, вы будете чувствовать себя намного лучше, потому что, по крайней мере, вы узнаете, что это за настоящие цифры, что это за анекдот, и тогда вы сможете сделать план игры в дальнейшем.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Что я действительно хочу ввести в это, и я думаю, что Рэйчел сделает это очень хорошо, я хочу, чтобы вы... Есть много беспрепятствующих движений. Все говорят, ой, мы были стеснительны, и мы должны были это сделать, и потом мы были стеснительны, и мы должны были это сделать, и мы были стеснительны.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И цель здесь, паттерн, который произошел, это, когда вы, ребята, стеснительны, вы делаете плохие выборы. И я хочу, что это должно остановиться сегодня. Так что, что это выглядит, это...
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
В будущем, я хочу, чтобы вы были на плане с вашими деньгами, чтобы вы знали, какие ваши цели, вы знали, что будет дальше, и вы были в контроле, и это произошло в вашей жизни, вместо того, чтобы все, что было вокруг вас, произошло с вами, и вы реагировали, и вы были на ногах всех. Это должно меняться, и я думаю, что план для ваших деньг поможет вам. Вы слышали о Финансовом Союзе Медицины?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Нет. Просто недавно я начала слушать вас. Я родилась в гетто, честно говоря. Я никогда не имела денег в жизни. Моя мама и папа работали только для нас. Я просто выросла, работая, и пейчек на пейчек. Рент, рент, рент, рент всю мою жизнь, до того, как мы наконец-то смогли это получить. И это было через ФХА. Поэтому я говорю, что мы пришли, и мы счастливы, что это получилось.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Но вот мы и есть, мы так счастливы, у нас есть красивый маленький дом.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да, да, но ты так счастлива, но ты также очень стрессован.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Итак, что мы хотим, чтобы ты видела, и Джейд точно права, это проактивность с твоим денег против реактивности, и ты только что это сказал, и я думаю, что то, как мы взрослые с денег, это огромная часть нашей истории, и это то, что было моделировано для тебя, но теперь красивое дело, что теперь ты можешь это изменить, так что, Александра, останься на линии, Алисон будет выбирать,
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И мы дадим вам каждый доллар в премиум, который будет подключен к вашему аккаунту. И вы сможете принести транзакции, вы сможете в реальном времени бюджетить ваши зарплаты, как Джейд сказала. И мы дадим вам Финансовый мир университета, который будет нашим девятым уроком, и вы и ваш муж. Вы должны узнать, как это работает. И, Александра, я буду вас обвинять. Это будет чувствовать себя некомфортно.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Ты сказала, что ты новичок в этом. И когда ты... Ты должен добраться до этого момента. И ты там. Я чувствую это в твоей голосе. И почему ты звонил. Ты не счастлива с твоей ситуацией. Что вы сделали, что привело тебя до этого момента. Да, он потерял работу. Я понимаю. Что-то случилось.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Вы не счастливы с тем, где вы, что означает, что вы должны изменить то, что вы делаете. И изменение тяжело, Александра, тяжело. И поэтому вы будете делать некоторые больные вещи, которые будут чувствовать себя не комфортно, потому что они новые, но они правильные вещи, чтобы делать. Мы лучшие в бизнесе, чтобы получить людей в контроле за их деньги. Так что слушайте план.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Продолжайте планирование, не отстаньте от него. И так, смотря на ваши номера, получая факты на бумаге, это будет дать вам некоторую комнату дыхания. Вы, наверное, будете продавать авиабилеты. Вы, наверное, можете взять вторую работу, чтобы заплатить билеты за следующий месяц, что нормально. Надеюсь, он получит эту работу, и вы на тракте.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Но вы должны собрать свои вещи вместе, потому что вы будете в том же месте снова. Но мы верим, что вы можете это сделать. Вы можете. Вы можете. Вы должны сделать изменение. Продолжение следует...
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Если вы продаете, что это приведет? Мы купили это не так давно, даже не 3 года назад. Мы пытаемся продать это, но...
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Хорошо. Итак, сегодняшний вопрос от Эвана из Канзаса. Он говорит. We're considering going to some of the many food pantries in our city a few times a month to get the majority of our food so we could still have a couple hundred dollars to throw out the mortgage. Is this ethical, considering I have a stable job and it's not like we'd go hungry without the food pantry?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
We agree that once our mortgage is paid, we would donate these food pantry items to give back. Is this the wrong way to become debt-free? Я буду говорить, что да, я бы этого не делала. Вы сказали это лучше, Эван. Вы сказали, что у вас есть стабильный работа, и вы не нуждаетесь в этом. И я думаю, что еда в кухнях действительно есть для людей, которые нуждаются в этом. Они в нуждении. И...
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Есть еще одна сторона этого, где, опять же, мы уже говорили об этом ранее на канале, но если вы выбираете путь от дома или выбираете любой путь, который будет иметь один из жителей, который не работает, то вы сделаете эту кровать, и вы в ней лежите. И это не плохая вещь, это просто вы оба решили, что это будет значительно снижать нашу зарплату, и мы в порядке с этим.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И потом вы решили, что это значит, что это будет длиться намного дольше, чтобы заплатить зарплату, вы два решите об этом. И я бы не...
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да, используйте коммунистические ресурсы, которые не нужны. Да, я бы не делала это. Да, я тоже не думаю, что я бы не делала это. И я думаю, что он знает это. Да, он бы, наверное, не спросил, если бы он не чувствовал себя хорошо. Да, я думаю, что это, опять же, может быть, изменение в бюджете. Может быть, вы ждете месяц или два, и вы получите рейс, и вы можете использовать некоторые из этих маржин.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Потому что, когда вы достаёте от вашего дома, это то, что мы всегда говорим, вы можете расслабиться от акселератора, и вы сделаете решения, а потом... Это может быть не так, как у ребенка 1-3. И ребенок будет расти, и она может решить, когда ребенок пойдет в детдом, она пойдет в работу, и вы будете продолжать. Абсолютно.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Спасибо за вопрос, Эван. Следующий вопрос у нас у Конора в Миссисипи.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Привет, Конор, добро пожаловать на наш канал.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Продолжение следует... Продолжение следует...
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Если бы ты это сделал, потому что то, о чем ты говоришь, не идти в колледж, в какой-то момент, это значит, что, хорошо, ты собираешься найти свою собственную местность, и ты будешь нуждаться в налоге. Так что, если бы ты взял налог, что бы ты думал?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Что вы хотите сделать, Коннор? Вы наслаждаетесь этим бизнесом? Вы хотите делать это в целом? Да. Какая будет ваша мысль, если вы пойдете в колледж, чтобы помочь развивать современное бизнес или начать что-то новое, получить другую учебу? Какая будет ваша цель в четырехлетнем колледже?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я думаю, это отличный индикатор, потому что, очевидно, колледж и университет не для всех. Строение в вашей образовании для всех. Что я бы сказала, это посмотреть на вашу 5-10 летнюю картину. Когда вы представляете себя в 5 лет, что вы видите в себе? И когда ты перевернешь это, ты думаешь, окей, мне это требует, чтобы я получил учебу? Как я там получил участие? Думай о этом.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Окей, но, Ами, говори о реальных целях, потому что сейчас ты говоришь, что все здесь, я хочу знать реальные цели. Если ты двигаешься, дай нам больше деталей. Если ты двигаешься, откуда ты двигаешься, и где ты двигаешься? Если ты продаёшь дом, сколько он будет дать, и что ты планируешь сделать с этим денегом? Дай нам немного более деталей, чтобы мы могли с тобой подобраться.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Потому что, знаешь, есть социальная таймлайн, когда ты 18, ты идешь в колледж. Но если ты не готова сделать это еще, и если ты не можешь еще туда поехать.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да, ну, я mean, потому что я была going to say, Connor, there's, you know, you go to college to either graduate,
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
60-70 тысяч, потому что ты знаешь, что, Коннор, я буду честен, ты учишься много больше, работая в своей собственной бизнесе, чем ты будешь быть какой-то теорией, сидя в бизнес-классе, это будет за собой, в любом случае, я имею в виду, честно, серьезно, это так верно, и, как бы, жизнь, которую ты имеешь, так больше, чем обычно, что ты можешь учить в классе, не всегда, да, но в бизнес-интрепренерском путешествии люди работают и растут бизнесы
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И ты получаешь очень простой бюджет в вашем коммунистическом колледже, что, я думаю, очень смело. Я тоже. Но, я имею в виду, если твой цель – это иметь эту компанию, продолжать ее развивать, Я думаю, вы это выиграли. Вы не нуждаетесь в колледже, чтобы это сделать. Поэтому я бы спасала инвестиции, которые вы бы платили для колледжа, и продолжила эту дорогу, если бы я была ты.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Но, опять же, если вы вступаете в что-то, что немного более специфичное и связано с каким-то типом лицензии или, вы знаете, дизайном, который вам нужно, то, может, вы посмотрите на это. Но для нас, Коннор, я имею в виду, что вы убиваете это. Вы зарабатываете 40 тысяч долларов за три сотрудника. Это довольно впечатляюще.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
У вас есть бизнес, который делает то, что вы хотите сделать, что вы смотрите?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Мы надеемся, что у вас будет еще больше дорог, и все будет более сложным. И, конечно же, у вас будет еще больше инженеров, и это очень важно. Мы отправим вам копию «Антре Лидершипа» и обязательно посмотрите наш подкаст. Рамзи помогает маленьким бизнесам, потому что мы верим в них. Мы считаем, что это основа Америки. Это невероятно. Редактор субтитров М.Лосева Корректор А.Егорова
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Добро пожаловать в The Ramsey Show. Я Ричель Круз, ведущая этот час с Джейдом Варшавой. Мы принимаем ваши звонки на 888-825-5225. А дальше у нас Шерон в Спрингфилде. Привет, Шерон. Добро пожаловать на наш канал. Привет. Спасибо, что пригласили меня сегодня. Абсолютно.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Как нам помочь? Мой муж занимается финансами. Мы женаты почти 20 лет. И до того момента, что я вообще не знаю, что происходит в наших финансах, в большинстве. Я говорю, что в большинстве случаев он контролирует много того, что мы зарабатываем и как мы зарабатываем.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Если вы продаете, сколько вы возьмете домой после продажи? Может быть, 40 тысяч. И это после налогов и так далее?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И, вы знаете, у нас будут финансовые дискуссии, и мы поговорим об этом, но у меня нет полного понимания нашего финансового риска, когда мы решаем решения. Хорошо. И я не могу дать ему сидеть и делать бюджет. Теперь мы прошли программы Рамзи, я думаю, мы прошли их дважды.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я думаю, что большинство это просто понимание, как планировать маленькие вещи, которые появятся у детей, например, костюмы, которые дети нуждаются в программах, или, вы знаете, постеры, которые они нуждаются в презентациях в школе, вы знаете, чтобы мы были уверены, что у нас есть деньги для этих маленьких вещей, и, конечно, есть больше, чем только то, что у детей.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И он не хочет это сделать, или ты хочешь это сделать, и он не думает, что это необходимо, чтобы планировать эти детали?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
He's hesitant about the zero, like getting all of the money and giving it a name. I hear that a lot. Take all the money, give all the money a name, and, you know, like that zero budget. But it doesn't mean zero dollars in the account. Maybe that's what's making him nervous. I'm sorry, say that again?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
So zero-based budget doesn't mean zero dollars in the account, and that might be really clear, like really important to make clear to him.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Итак, 40 тысяч. Вы думаете, что это будет новая зарплата, когда вы перейдете в этот сезон?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я имею дебетную карту. Я не плачу много денег из аккаунта, без того, чтобы сначала разобраться с ним, потому что я так глупа к тому, что там.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Почему? Почему ты чувствуешь нужность спросить его разрешения?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Потому что у нас нет бюджета, поэтому я не знаю, что там, и как его использовать.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Окей, давайте перейдем к этому, потому что на нашей экране говорится, что мой муж ухудшил деньги, ухудшил финансы от меня за нашу всю семью. И это звучит не так, как вы говорите. Так что помогите нам понять.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Ну, да, он отмечает всю информацию об аккаунте, да. То есть, вы просите разрешения заработать, потому что у вас нет понятия, что там за счетом.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
То есть, вы не хотите заработать скрытно с дебет-карты. Вы не можете перейти в... У вас есть информация о перейдении, Шерон?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да. Мы думали об этом, но теперь мы думаем, что, может быть, мы должны просто заработать.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
У меня сейчас нет информации о перейдении.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Он влоггировал в себя. Он влоггировал в себя и позволил тебе посмотреть на его голову. О, Шерон, это меня волнует.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да, я думаю, что в этом моменте я бы была в порядке с твоей собственной аккаунтой. Но слушай меня, Шерон, что это... Это сделает одну часть этого, что у тебя будет денег. для того, чтобы зарабатывать, но это не сделает вашу рождество. Это временная решение, чтобы подобраться к более глубоким деталям.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Потому что, Шерон, что меня беспокоит, и мы видели такие ситуации, что если ты не знаешь, куда идет деньги, Я бы... Я... Я бы... Я бы была очень опасна, что там происходит что-то, что... и другие части вашего взаимодействия, о которых вы не знаете. Да, вы не знаете, что он скрывает. Вы... Вы... Вы чувствуете это? Я... Да. В некоторых случаях, да. Да. Да. Да. Да. Да, я бы начинала с него.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И, опять же, это, и для тех, кто слушает сейчас, это, несмотря на то, что Шерон победитель или нет. Хорошо, что она сделала деньги, но даже если бы Шерон была домашней мамой, мой взгляд был бы одинаковым. Потому что, как женский парень, как вы, вы команда, работаете вместе, и он имеет проблемы с контролем.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я тоже думаю об этом. Да, да. И это 40 тысяч долларов больше для студентского налога. Да, да. Это сделает немного прогресса. Да. Так что, Ами, это будет ваша... Это будет ваша борьба. Это не будет доходом. И обычно, когда мы говорим с людьми like this, мы говорим, что вы должны получить сайт-хусл, все это, все это. И, честно говоря, с тем, что у вас есть, вы можете получить это за полтора года. Да.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И иногда, Шерон, и я просто скажу это, и ты можешь меня корректировать здесь, но иногда это приводит тебя в опасную ситуацию с большинством вредных мужиков. Они используют уровень силы и контроля, что ты даже не можешь пойти в магазин. И было ли в вашей рождестве в последние 20 лет вред? Физические вреды? Нет. Окей. Никогда. Ты чувствуешь себя в опасности?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Ты чувствуешь себя в опасности в твоем доме?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Нет. Нет. Я чувствую, что мой муж очень несправедлив. И поэтому он пытается держать деньги, чтобы я... Я не могу уйти. Я знаю, это звучит ужасно.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Нет, это не так. Нет, это правда. Это очень реально. Это то, что происходит.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да. У вас дети? У нас есть. У нас есть два ребенка. Сколько им лет? Примерно 9 и 13. Они оба собираются иметь дни.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Хорошо. Да, я бы... Я бы имела консультацию с Ультиматумом. И это... Ты будешь дать мне всю информацию о логине. Да. И я хочу видеть все, что происходит. Какие билды? Ты знаешь, сколько кредитных карт он имеет? Потому что, Шерон, он тебя вставил, и он сделал это. Ты не сумасшедший. Он тебя вставил в эту ситуацию. Так что ты не будешь плохим человеком здесь. Ты защищаешь себя. Так важно.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И если ты спросишь его, «Эй, из-за состояния нашей взаимоотношений мы пойдем в каунселинг», что он бы сказал? Если бы ты сказал, что достаточно, нам нужно поговорить с кем-то. Он бы пошел, или он бы боролся? Он бы сказал, что мы не смогли обеспечить это.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я не знаю точно. Я думаю, это около 60. Хорошо.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Но ваша проблема, Ами, в том, что вы будете... Если бы я и Джейд были в этом положении, я бы просто сказала вам, что мы оба с нашими партнерами, наши решения были бы практически одинаковыми. Мы живем в одиночном квартире, мы живем как дешево, как можно дешевле за два года.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да, Шерон, мы хотим, что мы видим так много, что проблемы с деньгами являются симптомом многих вещей, которые происходят. И поэтому проблема того, что вы не знаете цифры и не имеете доступа, чтобы увидеть, что происходит финансово в вашем доме, является симптомом того, что у вас есть контролирующий муж. И у вас только так много, что вы можете сделать. Вы не можете его изменить.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Но то, что вы можете сделать, это защитить себя. И если вы останетесь на линии, то Кристина пойдет к вам, и я хочу, чтобы вы были с одним из наших сертифицированных ассоциаций. Я думаю, что просто провести 7 минут с вами на радио, я думаю, что это не сделает это правильным. Я хочу, чтобы кто-то ходил с вами, Шерон, в этом, потому что это очень важно. Это очень важно.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И я надеюсь, что ваша рождающаяся в этом процессе ухудшится. Это будет очень тяжелый патч. Но я молюсь за это. Я очень молюсь. Я молюсь, чтобы вы оба приходили на другую сторону и были преданными в этом. Но если нет, я хочу, чтобы вы защитили себя. Это «Рамси-шоу». Это трудно видеть как у взрослых, но это правда. Есть несколько таких, но один из них – это инфраструктура.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И в последние годы, в последние месяцы, я думаю, около 18 месяцев сейчас, они просто продолжают расти, расти, расти. Дом, авто, я имею в виду, это просто продолжает расти. И, согласно Квадрат информационных сервисов, инфраструктура в доме находится около 23% выше, чем в прошлом году. Инфраструктура в машинах в 39% выше, чем в декабре 2019 года.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да, это много. И факторы, которые играют в это, это интересно. Так что, даже если вы посмотрите на, например, авиационную систему, я имею в виду, что вы должны думать о том, где вы живете в Соединенных Штатах, это вопрос климата. Или вы живете в месте, где есть торнадо, и поэтому есть штормы, и это повреждает ваш автомобиль. Вы знаете, это может быть что-то вроде...
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
я имею в виду, вау, я просто полностью заблокировал свой мозг.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Нет, но я имею в виду, да, вы думаете о том, что, да, торнадосы, волнение, ракета, что-то, что может повредить вашу жизнь. Да, климат – это то, да.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И потом вы думаете о моделях, да, мы делаем много электрических автомобилей, есть больше технологий внутри них, и поэтому есть часть этого. И поэтому, по большому счету, мы видим увеличение количества аварий, что интересно. Окей, я не знаю, что это. И поэтому, знаете, большинство людей, наверное, думают, что мы можем сделать об этом.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И, Ами, самая большая борьба, которая произойдет, это то, что ты будешь в этом новом работе, в этом дентальном мире, в котором люди делают невероятные деньги, что здорово, и они должны, они делают великолепную работу, но они будут жить невероятными жизнями. Я имею в виду, чтобы сделать 600 тысяч долларов в год, путешествия... Да, путешествия, машины, еда, фестивали.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И вот это, Рачель, это то, что мы учим, что действительно играет роль, потому что если вы купите машину в кэше, если вы купите ее в кэше, она используется, тогда вы квалифицируете себя за низкий рейтинг. И поэтому это, да, это хороший... Мотивация. Конечно же, модель машины, которую вы выбираете, все равно играет роль в этом. Сколько вы старше, все равно играет роль в этом. Все это играет роль.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Так что есть некоторые способы, чтобы подобраться к этому, но даже если вы делаете все эти вещи правильно, то идея о том, что все это становится выше. И это просто... Я имею в виду, что это просто сухо.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да, и это один из этих цен, о которых ты думаешь, что ты не можешь ничего об этом сделать, да? Когда твоя налоговая карта уйдет. Что бы то ни было, ты просто думаешь, о, боже мой, я просто чувствую себя, ты чувствуешь себя застрянутым, ты чувствуешь себя застрянутым, потому что ты должен иметь это. Да. Но все еще это одно из тех вещей, которые просто продолжают расти.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я имею в виду, что ты можешь увеличить свою зарплату, это что-то, что ты можешь сделать. Да. Есть еще один момент.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Если вы купите машину в кассе, и у вас есть достаточно денег, чтобы, если что-то случилось с машиной, вы могли ее поменять в кассе, вы могли убрать компенсационную инвестицию, потому что вы думаете, что если что-то случится, например, природный катастрофа, что-то невероятное, у меня есть касса, которую я могу поменять.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Так что есть вещи, которые вы могли бы сделать, чтобы поменять ее, но это просто большая часть этого, что это... Продолжение следует... Продолжение следует...
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я хочу сделать это быстро. Я думаю о выполнении волонтерской перепосадки моего автомобиля. И я просто спрашиваю, если это хорошая идея. Ну, я буду называть... Ну, дайте мне перечислить это. Я называю это волонтерской перепосадкой, но я действительно пытаюсь избавиться от каких-то вредов. Я боюсь написать в машине, что я думала, что это правильная идея. Да, но можно ли мы ее продать?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Все, что ты можешь представить, Ами, это мир, в который ты собираешься вступить. И ты не будешь частью этого. И ты скажешь, что за год и полтора, 18 месяцев, 24 месяца мы не живем, как мы делаем 600 тысяч. Мы живем, как мы делаем 60 тысяч. И я говорю тебе, чем быстрее ты можешь остаться в этой менталитете и пройти через это, Ами... Это очень плохой дом. Ты можешь сделать так много с этим.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Можно ли мы ее продать? Это мой цель. Я надеюсь попробовать продать ее в магазине. И я предполагаю, что... Если бы я была тобой, какой бы автомобиль это был? Я надеюсь, что до 20 тысяч. Хорошо.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Если бы вы думали, что отдать это в магазин будет 20 тысяч, то, я думаю, что вы сможете подобрать это. Просто по тому, что вы сказали.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да, Шей, что тебя вызывает, чтобы убрать это? Просто потому, что пенсия так высокая?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Да, и честно говоря, я просто пытаюсь избавиться от вреда. Я хочу быть в состоянии заплатить. Моя мама и я просто купили семейный бюджет, поэтому я хочу вложить деньги в заплатку.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Не в карточку. Не в карточку. Да. У вас есть еще какие-то вреда? Да, у меня есть вред в кредитной карте. Сколько? 9000 долларов. Хорошо. Что еще? Нет. Сколько вы делаете в год? Я зарабатываю 73 тысячи долларов в год.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я просто устала жить жизнью, в которой я живу. Мне не кажется, что я живу как 25-летняя женщина. Я делаю хорошие деньги, но я не вижу от них благополучия. Конечно, хорошо сделано. Я имею в виду, что это хорошая причина.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Мы обычно находимся с людьми, которые начинают говорить, что что-то должно меняться. Многое из этого происходит, чтобы сказать, что я работаю тяжело, и я не чувствую, что у меня есть ничего для этого. Это просто чувство, что, я имею в виду, что ничего нет. И да, и ты 25 лет, а ты делаешь 73 тысячи. Это много. Это здорово. Откуда приходит кредитная карта?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Потому что у тебя есть хорошая зарплата. Серьезно, плохие решения. И также, перед тем, как я получила эту карту, у меня была карта, которая мне давала проблемы, поэтому я добавляла в нее немного денег, добавляла ее на мою карту, пытаясь ее решить, и, честно говоря, она все равно оказалась на меня.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я люблю это. Я люблю, когда люди остановятся и понимают, что у них есть выбор. Ты не должен продолжать так, как ты был. Ты можешь оптимизировать этот стиль жизни. И ты можешь сказать, что ты хочешь сделать это лучше, ты хочешь, чтобы ты чувствовал, что ты делаешь импакт, ты хочешь, чтобы твоя зарплата значила. Я не хочу продолжать жить так.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Браво! Так хорошо, Шея. Ты включился в Рамзи Бэйби Степс? Да. Нет, у меня нет. Хорошо, я бы рекомендовала, чтобы... Да, подойдите к некоторым вещам. Мы соберем Кристиана, и мы дадим вам Финансовый мир университета, который является нашим 9-месячным курсом, который, как мы всегда говорим, каждый школьник должен иметь.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Покупайте минимальные зарплаты на все и заплатите первым самым маленьким кредитным счетчиком и работайте на вашем пути. Я бы делала сайд-хусл. Я бы сделала все, что могла, чтобы это уничтожить. И опять же, вы делаете очень много денег, так что даже ограничивая вашу жизнь, живя на бюджете, делать несколько таких вещей поможет вам.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
И тогда ваш следующий цель, Шея, будет получать полноценный фундаментальный бюджет, 3-6 месяцев экспенсов, спасенных в банке. Окей. Как вы себя чувствуете сейчас? Если бы у вас не было вреда, и у вас были 5 месяцев скидок в банке, как бы вы себя чувствовали? Вероятно. Вероятно. Так хорошо. Окей, останьтесь на сцене. Кристиану мы возьмем, и мы дадим вам что-то, чтобы помочь вам в вашем путешествии.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я так рада, что вы звонили. Я знаю. Спасибо, Джейд, за отличный час, и спасибо, Америка. Это «Рамзи-шоу».
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Противоположное в том, что ты двигаешься куда-то, где ты новая, и ты не знаешь никого, и у тебя нет никаких ошибок. Понимаешь, что я говорю? Если бы ты позвонила нам пять лет спустя, и ты был в этой работе, делая 6.50, у тебя был дом, у тебя были машины, ты привыкла к этому стилю жизни, и тебе было бы трудно отключаться. Но вы еще не попали в это. И вы еще не знаете никого.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Нет стандарта, чтобы держаться. Вы можете летать под радаром, делать свою вещь. И после полутора лет вы можете попасть и сказать, что хорошо. Пойдем на путешествие. Пойдем зарабатывать деньги.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Ами, чем быстрее вы уберете это. Я говорю вам, чем быстрее вы уберете это. И вы, ребята, я очень рада, что вы нашли нас. Я знаю, что вы новая слушателька. Но я говорю вам, что это правильный план. Так что делайте это. Делайте это хорошо. Мы рады за вас, Ами. Поздравляем вас с большим образованием и большим заработком. Но сделайте правильные решения здесь. Это «Рамси-шоу».
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Добро пожаловать в «Рамзи-шоу». Я Рэйчел Круз, ведущая Джейд Варшав. Мы отвечаем на ваши вопросы сегодня. И если вы новички на шоу, любите шоу, слушаете шоу, старший слушатель шоу, любите вас, это будет прекрасно, чтобы вы поделились этим с друзьями и семьей. Это один из способов, чтобы мы могли распространять слово. И, честно говоря, это один из лучших маркетинговых способов.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Мы хотим, чтобы все имели план с точки А до точки Б, который эффективен и помогает им, когда это касается их денег, чтобы получить контроль и построить власть. И, в конце концов, это то, что мы снимаем, когда это касается тем, что не очень спокойно для многих людей. Так что, да, оставьте нам ревью, поделитесь этим видео. Мы очень-очень благодарим вас за слушание и просмотр.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Хорошо, а дальше у нас Джаред в Клевленде. Эй, Джаред, добро пожаловать на наш канал.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
I work 60 hours a week for my secular job and about 30 hours a week in the ministry.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
But I've got back against the wall, my back's into the wall, if that's a possible thing.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
I've got two car payments that are out of hand.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
О, Джаред, я так извиняюсь. Я знаю, что это очень стрессово, особенно когда ты чувствуешь, что ты пытаешься сделать правильное дело, и ты не получаешь тракта, то это трудно. Но, да, надеюсь, мы можем помочь здесь. Хорошо, так что, что ты делаешь для твоего рабочего дела, что ты сказал?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Хорошо, и сколько ты делаешь в этом работе?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Корректно. Окей. Итак, сколько вы зарабатываете как пастор?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Я очень рада быть на телефоне. У меня много вопросов, но мой муж и я обязательно нуждаемся в помощи с финансовым планом. У нас более чем миллион долларов в бюджете.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Потому что это относится к вашему зарплате?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Так, а ваша жилье и налоги обладают вашей зарплатой, если ваша зарплата 1700?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Хорошо, и тогда, сколько вы обладаете на машинах?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Окей. Окей. Итак, у вас есть 8000 долларов в месяц между двумя вами. Объясняю, что 1700 из них уходит в зарплату. Окей, помогите мне. Когда я смотрю на это, я думаю, окей, зарплата закрыта, здесь есть какие-то вложения. Это как-то 6500 осталось после зарплаты.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Окей, это может быть, это может быть район. Сколько лет у девочек?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Это 3700, я хочу сказать, за год. Окей. Что еще?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Вы зарабатываете $308 в месяц? Да, я не уверена, куда идут $6500.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Окей, минус 200. Итак, сейчас мы находимся на 5080. Продолжайте. Я просто помогаю вам пройти через это. Я не пытаюсь позвонить вам.
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
О, боже мой! Ты не можешь просто пройти через это, ты должен рассказать нам больше. Какие у тебя деграды, Ами?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Что ты ставишь на эти кредитные карты, Джаред?
The Ramsey Show
A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt
Окей. Окей, так что, Джаред, смотря на эти цифры, я не забыла о 3 000 долларовом бюджете, или что-то подобное, да? Есть месяц, но это не большая беда. Я могу просто назвать это, Джаред, мне кажется, что вы были слабыми. Вы согласитесь?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Нет, мы не. Я еще не инвестировал в что-то. Я просто начинаю пытаться. Я, честно говоря, не слушал Дэйва Рэмзи, кроме последних месяцев. Добро пожаловать в культ, брат.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Это означает, что ты пытаешься улучшить свои финансы и будущее вашей семьи. Я люблю это. Я уверен, что как медицинский медицин, у вас есть планы на retirement, да?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Да, я думаю, что они составляют 4% на 401K, поэтому мне нужно это сделать. И моя жена, на самом деле, имеет IRA Roth, который ее отец построил давно назад.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Она не вложила много денег в это с тех пор, но... Ну, вы можете вложить деньги в это, потому что у вас есть IRA Roth, так что даже если ваша жена не работает Продолжение следует...
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Это около 1200 долларов. Окей, так что я предполагаю, что это большая часть принципа и интереса. Да, я думаю, что мы платим 800 долларов в интересах, по тому, как они установили налог. Боже мой, что это за подарок, 23 и 24, а не зарплата в мире с большим количеством денег в банке.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Если ты просто продолжаешь жить так, ты будешь мультимиллионером, дарующим очень великолепно.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Да, потому что... Это имеет смысл. Я думаю, что для нас... Я чувствую, что я на пивотном месте, потому что я... Я просто не знаю, что я хочу сделать. Я также думаю о возвращении в школу, чтобы попробовать увеличить, очевидно, их годовую зарплату. Я действительно надеюсь, что моя жена может продолжать жить дома.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Ну, нет домашнего зарплаты с деньгами в банке. Ты можешь сделать что угодно в школе, и это дает тебе маржин, чтобы сделать это, без нужды в 7-м сайд-жобе, чтобы ты мог быть там с этими молодыми детьми. Брат, у тебя нет домашнего зарплаты! Спасибо за звонок. Это «Рамзи-шоу».
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Добро пожаловать в «Рамси-шоу». Я Джордж Кэмпбелл, присоединен к доктору Джону Делоне. Присоединяйтесь к нам на 888-825-5225. Если вы хотите попасть в разговор и поговорить о вашей деньги, вашей жизни, ваших отношениях, вашей психической здоровье, ваших границах или тому подобное, мы хотим помочь вам принимать правильный следующий шаг. Шелли присоединяется к нам в Далласе, Техасе.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Шелли, добро пожаловать на наш канал.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Привет, спасибо, что присоединились к нам. Я просто присоединяюсь, потому что я... Это часть лекарственной терапии.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Что это будет стоить, чтобы получить эту помощь?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я смотрела на BetterHelp, и я увидела более доступные варианты. Я подписалась на BetterHelp, но я просто чувствую, что я попробую это за первые четыре недели. Я начинаю что-то, я начинаю, и я начинала терапию раньше, но это просто стоило, как, 100 в неделю, и тогда я... Ты чувствуешь, что это бесплатный запас в вашем бюджете сейчас?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Как, «Эй, это деньги должны идти в сторону этого?» Что за это?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я начинаю чувствовать, как... Я не знаю, это... И это часть моей агрессии, это часть причины, почему я думаю, что мне нужно терапию.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Мне просто больно платить. Я не знаю, я родилась в плохом возрасте, вы знаете, я родилась в плохой семье, и мы делаем очень хорошо сейчас, и я просто чувствую, что... Это то, что нужно для будущего.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И как мы можем уничтожить отношения по пути?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Простите, что я слышал. Да, что случилось? Какие были кризисы?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Вы даже не хотели сказать, что нужны терапевты, потому что в моей семье вы думаете, что вы безумны. Знаете, в вашей семье, скажите мне, если я ошибаюсь, в вашей семье вы не сказали, что вам нужно что-то. Нет, я на самом деле страдала от диабета, и все началось, когда я была ребенком.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Сейчас я в 40-х годах, и у меня есть панические атаки, и у меня был травматический момент в прошлом году, медицинский, с нейропатией для хронической болезни за 8 месяцев в моем лице.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Это время. И я не могу спать без тяжелой медицины.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Если бы у тебя была медика, Шелли, которая стоила $300 в месяц, но она изменила твою жизнь, ты бы сказал, что это было достойное $300, которое не было вредным?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Да, и, ну, я плачу много на моих психиатрах для медицины, так что я должна иметь это, или я просто не могу функционировать.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Да, он сказал, что CBT поможет мне.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я думаю, что нам нужно переставить это в мозге, потому что это не вредная вещь, которую я мог бы потратить на это, и это слишком много в нашем бюджете, чтобы сказать, что это как платить за инвестиции, это как держать светильники, это как платить за интернет-билд, это будет добавить так много utilitarian value в мою жизнь, что я не могу представить, что бы я не сделал это.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Да, на высоте рынка мы продали нашу первую квартиру. Это была наша возможность заработать бесплатно. Мы были, я бы сказала, между 50 и 65 тысяч в наличии. На высоте рынка в 2021 году мы продали нашу первую домашнюю квартиру, уходили бесплатно, платили всю наличие. И потом я родилась с третьим ребенком. Я была только 6 месяцев после беременности.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И это может не быть навсегда. Это может быть сезон, который ты пройдешь, и потом это все закончится.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я ставлю стресс на себя, потому что я чувствую, что мне нужно что-то улучшить в этом количестве времени. Я использую плохую аналогию.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Это хорошее слово, Джон. И тактически, Шелли, добавляя это в ваш бюджет на каждый доллар, что указывает на терапию Шелли, и потом, знаете, что случится в декабре, это будет чувствовать, что, о, боже, эти 300 долларов вышли для этих сессий. Потом в январе, это как, о, да, у нас есть это в бюджете. Потом в феврале, это как, о, да, у нас есть это в бюджете.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И вдруг это становится нормальным, особенно когда вы преодолеете детские степени, и вы приходите в другую местность финансово. Есть расходы на бюджет моего мужа и меня, что, знаете, 23-летний Джордж будет говорить, что, whoa, that guy is blowing some money into us. No, we're buying ourselves peace. We're buying our time back with some of these things. And therapy is not a luxury.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Это очень добрый вопрос, Джон. Вы обладаете таким образом силой здесь, на «Рамзи»-шоу.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Это очень приятно. Так что подождите, Шелли. Мы отправим вам копию книги о лучшем продаже доктора Джона Делони «Будет жизнь без ненависти» и три месяца лучшего помощника для нас, чтобы начать с этого пути. Мы рады, что вы пришли, и я рад за вас. Это не простая вещь, чтобы звонить в национальный радио и выложить все это. И сказать, что я страдаю от этого, я хочу получить помощь, которую мне нужна.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И я знаю, что много людей получают от этого звонка, которые, наверное, должны принимать следующий шаг, Джон.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
And I also felt like such a wimp and such a weakling and such a coward and all those things.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И я, на самом деле, боролась с депрессией после беременности. У нас были крупные сложности. Я была в предыдущей работе почти три месяца. И я – победитель между собой и ним. Очень высокое напряжение, вы знаете, софтвера. Это было для безопасности себя и семьи. И на день, когда я вернулась на работу, я была в состоянии, что я не могу больше работать.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Моя мама сказала мне вчера, что мои родители должны были заплатить за последние два месяца. Моя мама осталась дома с нами и обучала нас 10 лет. И она должна получать частную работу. И я просто спрашиваю, как мои зарплаты и как я зарабатываю за будущее. Это в этом, потому что я как-то чувствую себя виноватой.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
О, да. Я не была уверена, что это нормально для меня, чтобы продолжать... Абсолютно.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я думаю, это здорово. Да! Я бы хотел, чтобы Джон и я были так умными в 15 лет. Боже мой. Я не знал, что это было, когда мне было 15 лет.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я собираюсь сделать вам лучшее, Алексис. Я собираюсь подарить вам Финансовый мир университета. И одно, что вы можете сделать, это сидеть в комнате, смотря на Финансовый мир университета, и сказать, что, мама, папа, если вы хотите меня пригласить, я так много учусь в этом. Если вы хотите меня пригласить, я думаю, что это будет очень круто для нас, чтобы мы это сделали вместе.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И не из-за шансов, как, мама, вы говорите мне, что вы угрожаете, это может быть хорошо для вас.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я говорю о том, кто убил твою голову 7 лет назад, так что просто посмотри на себя, и я думаю, что ты моделируешь это, это может вдохновить их, мотивировать их, дать им надежду, и когда время придет, ты станешь старше, и они будут просить твоего обещания. Это верно. И это отличный место, где ты сможешь быть.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Так что держись на линии, Дженна возьмет тебя, мы собираемся подарить тебе Финансовый мир университета за один год, так же как и каждый доллар премиум, и ты сможешь выйти на бюджет в 15, и они могут видеть, что ты делаешь, и подумать, что это ты сделал? Это довольно круто.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Окей, я очень рада поговорить с вами, спасибо. У меня есть какие-то проблемы. Окей, подождите, у нас тоже есть проблемы. Окей, у меня есть несколько деталей, я попробую их убрать. Окей. Я 51 года, я прожила с мужем около 10 лет, мы жили вместе. Я хочу закончить отношения. Моя проблема в том, что когда мы встретились, я купила дом, в котором я родила детей.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И у меня был Винтер Дэйв Рамзи, и я ухудшил все мои налоги. И когда мы встретились, у меня были налоги без налогов, и у меня было немного денег в банке. Около четырех лет назад мы купили дом близко к моей дочери, и он был очень маленьким. И потом еще один дом подошел вокруг окна, и он был в предупреждении. Я получила от него достойную сумму, поэтому я купил его.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я купила еще один дом около 20 минут от него. И... Большая часть моих проблем состоит в том, что, во-первых, я хочу закончить отношения с моим мужем. Моя другая проблема состоит в том, что у меня есть какие-то домашние проблемы со своей дочерью, если я могу сказать так. И я думаю, что, может быть, некоторое время между нами будет хорошо. Так что у меня есть четыре дома.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я болтаю. Когда я уйду из отношений, у меня будет ничего, кроме этих домов и моего зарплаты. Нет. Нет. Нет. В первые годы.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Хорошо. Если мы говорим, что мы не обновляем налоги, то я продаю квартиры.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Да, так что это кредитная власть, кредитная власть, я должен включить машину или нет?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И мы здесь для тебя, Америка, принимая твои звонки на 888-825-5225. Может, тебе нужна какая-то совет, какая-то мотивация, может, тебе нужно взять следующий шаг с этой разрушенной отношностью, с токсичным боссом, с токсичным боссом, с токсичным боссом, с токсичным боссом.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я, честно говоря, немного нервничаю сейчас.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я звоню, потому что мой муж гамблинг-адектик. И это было с сентября этого года, когда это стало легальным в Охио. И это вызывает тяжелый удар на нашу семью, на нашу отношения, на нашу семью.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И я на том месте, где я пробовала много путей с этим, пытаясь быть очень благодарным за то, как я делаю это, пытаясь быть господственным как жена, пытаясь поддерживать его ошибки, но пытаясь дать ему помощь, которую он нуждается. И ничего не работает. И на данный момент он очень надежен на продолжение этого.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Хорошо, тогда это подойдет оттуда, так что я бы добавила дополнительные 60 тысяч.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И я в таком состоянии, что я чувствую, что мне нужно, вы знаете, взять мою дочь и уйти, не в divorce, но, может быть, сделать несколько разделений, пока он это решит, но я, честно говоря, не хочу это делать, но я не знаю, что еще сделать сейчас.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Так что ты, наверное, 85 тысяч долларов в консумерную власть? Да. Ты возвращаешься к работе сейчас?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Да, и я имею в виду, что линия – это самая большая вещь. Конечно.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я, я. Я нашла новую работу в неделю, и я работаю. Ты еще работаешь на 300 тысяч? Да, я работаю для правительства.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И, я имею в виду, это было в последние несколько месяцев, я думаю, чтобы дать вам просто какой-то простой контекст. Так что, в большей сумме, он потратил между 30 и 40 тысяч долларов. Он потерял это? Да, он потерял все. Я имею в виду, что он выиграл несколько тысяч здесь, или 100 здесь, или что-то подобное. Но он все вместе с начала этого года. Это было около 40 тысяч долларов.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Это все, о чем я знаю. Я обещал, что будет больше.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Да, у меня есть работа, но он в медицинской школе. Подождите, подождите, подождите. Он делает выбор. Вы сохраняете себя в безопасности.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
У вас есть ваша собственная банковская аккаунт?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Да, я на самом деле это делала, примерно два месяца назад. Это был один из шагов, которые я взял, это разделение финансов.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Это все еще в нашей группе. И я просто скажу, что практически потому, что у нас нет никакой финансовой безопасности сейчас. Так что с моим работой и его работой мы получаем зарплату каждую неделю. Так что я получаю зарплату, а потом он получает следующую зарплату и так далее.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Так что с нашими деньгами, которые у нас есть сейчас, я хочу взять деньги из моего счета и вложить их в наши, но потом все билеты выходят из нашей группы, потому что мы еще не переключили никакие из них. Примерно каждый пейджек, который мы получаем каждую неделю, идет в сторону билов, в сторону кухни и газа. И тогда у нас ничего не осталось.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
О, окей, так что это тяжело. Так что я женился около двух лет, и до того, как мы женились, я согласилась не поделиться банковским аккаунтом. Я понял его резервации, у меня есть полный работа. Хорошо. И несколько месяцев назад я подумала, что, может, мне действительно нужно научиться контролировать свои финансы лучше, потому что, согласно ему, я не проверила, что я знаю, как контролировать деньги.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И я начала слушать Дэйв Рамзи, потому что я думала, что я люблю Рамзи-нетворк, и Я поняла, что мои проблемы гораздо более интенсивные, чем просто взаимоотношения или проблемы с коммуникацией. Он уходит половину времени с работы, и он не уходит. Он не дает мне денег на кухонные продукты, какие-либо необходимости.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Каждый раз, когда я это делаю, он говорит мне, что мне нужно лучше контролировать свои деньги.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Да. Я имею в виду, что физически, да.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Да, я имею в виду, что я прошла некоторые довольно травматические вещи в моей жизни, но, как на бумаге, это было бы гораздо хуже, чем это. Я никогда не была в панике до сих пор, так что я знаю, как полный паник-атак.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И я знаю, что я обучена достаточно, чтобы знать, что твое тело начинает делать вещи, когда... Он пытается получить твою внимание.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Ну, я имею в виду, что я... Я имею в виду, что я приняла вовлечение к нему. И я беру это серьезно. Но, я имею в виду, что у меня сейчас несколько тысяч долларов в бюджете, которые я не имела раньше, потому что я должна поставить газ и кухонные продукты на кредитные карты иногда.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Это тяжело. И мы готовы сейчас, да? Для большинства, большинство времени.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Правильно. Я имею в виду, он контролирует все, я имею в виду не только деньги, и если что-то не в порядке с тем, как он хочет, я имею в виду, он предотвращает меня. Я имею в виду, что тривиальные вещи, как беда, не имеют смысла.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Кроме того, вау, я имею в виду, что это не звучит, как взаимодействие, если вы просто говорите, слышать, что вы говорите это вслух, это звучит, как ситуация токсичного взаимодействия. Что он вообще подписывался за, когда он подписался за эту взаимодействие?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я недавно спросила его об этом, и, я имею в виду, он сказал, что я взаимодействую с тобой, потому что я люблю тебя. Но, я имею в виду... Это любовь? Я не думаю, что любовь должна чувствовать себя так.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Ну, я имею в виду, что я хочу сказать, что я дала все.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Какие бы были препятствия, если бы ты сказала, что ты уйдешь?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Ну, я бы, наверное, не обращалась бы к вам.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я знаю, я знаю, я знаю. И я надеюсь, что вы слышите, что мы любите вас. Я боюсь вас. Никакие опции не просты. Давайте сделаем это очень четким. Остаться очень трудно, и уходить будет трудно. Но одно приведет вас к тому, что вы свободны. И что ваша дочь в безопасности, и вы в безопасности, и вы можете найти лучшее место финансово, вместо того, чтобы жить в этом prison.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И мы просто хотим, что лучше для Джейна.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
If your friend was in this situation, what would you tell her?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я никогда не представляла себя в таком состоянии. Это то, что делает ситуацию так ужасной.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я никогда не испытывала ничего подобного. Но я просто боюсь. Я не знаю, что мне нужно сделать.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
So, we used to have $60,000 cars.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
We used to have a humongous house, and we had our forever house.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
It's not our forever house anymore.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok Продолжение следует... Добро пожаловать в «Рамзи-шоу». Я Джордж Кэмпбелл, ведущий «Антре-Лидершип-подкаст», «Файнпринт» и ко-ведущий «Смарт-Монти-Хэппи-Ауэр». Добро пожаловать в «Рамзи-шоу». Это здорово. Ну, мы здесь для тебя, Америка, для того, чтобы позвонить тебе о жизни, денег, здоровье, отношениях, карьере.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
You and me are forever husband, but the house isn't.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Это все как-то совпадает в одну глупую вещь, которую мы называем жизнью, и мы здесь для того, чтобы помочь тебе сделать следующий шаг и помочь тебе сделать breakthrough в этом. Так что 888-825-5225 это номер для звонка. Рене присоединяется к нам в Орландо, Флорида. Рене, добро пожаловать на наш канал.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Привет, спасибо. Продолжение следует... Да. Да. Продолжение следует... Я не знаю, как от этого уйти. Мы только что подключились к вашему телевидению, «Рамзан Солюции», может, несколько дней назад, от моего сотрудника. И мы нашли надежду до сих пор, но мы слышали на телевидении, что «Бэйби Степс» и «Эмергензий Фонд», и мы не знаем, что это такое. И мы не знаем, как начать.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Мы не знаем, откуда идти. Мы не имеем ничего в счетах. Мы не имеем ничего для зарплаты. Мы не имеем ничего для наших детей. И мы бы хотели, чтобы у нас были больше детей. И мы бы хотели, чтобы у них был стабильный будущий и стабильная жизнь в доме.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я так прощаюсь, что я слышал все это. Боже. Ты готова?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Ты готова? Да, мы готовы. Мой муж и я уже начали смотреть на... have any desire to go to college, per se, and throw money into a system where there's no guarantee of me getting a job in that field. Okay, so you're ready. George is going to walk you through it. I love that you guys want to further your education and get out of this hole, but right now we're in survival mode.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
I'm not thinking about school, I'm thinking about how we're going to put food on the table and stop living in hotels and make sure our six-year-old is taken care of.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И поэтому А1 — это остановка от вреда. Вы все готовы к этому? Или вы все еще должны вывести эти налоги?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Нет, мы готовы. Мы вывели некоторые кредитные карты несколько месяцев назад, но мы уже остановились на их использовании.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Вы можете их физически вывести? Да. Вы можете их вывести, чтобы вы не знали эти цифры? Нет.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Они не твои друзья. Так что, когда мы говорим «нет» к налогам, позвольте спросить интересы на эти налоги, потому что я думаю, что это сделает нас все трогать.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Ух, слишком много. Это в сотнях? Наверное. Я имею в виду, что мы тратим $1200 в месяц на эти налоги.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Мы оба имеем налоги на машины, и я посмотрела, как они продаются, и мы, в основном, вверх-вниз на обе наши машины, потому что, опять же, это было место, где вы можете купить здесь, платить здесь, так что, интересные цены.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Хорошо, у вас есть два машинного налога, у вас есть налоги на налоги, у вас есть кредитные карты, что еще?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Да, в основном, и все, что мой ребенок потребует.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Это может означать, что мы работаем 60-70 часов в неделю, и мы тратим места на помощь 6-летнему ребенку за несколько недель, чтобы мы могли уйти из воды.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Хорошо. Хорошо. Мы собираемся сейчас, потому что наша ближайшая семья 3 часа от нас, но мы недавно купили квартиру, благодаря Богу, в комплексе, который 1 час от работы, но у нас есть друзья, которые живут в комплексе, которые были бы готовы... Так, может быть, за 30 дней... Ну, может быть, за 30 дней ты спрашиваешь их, скажешь им, что мы в шоке, и в момент того, как ты уходишь,
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И вы будете делать все, что вам нужно, даже если вы останетесь с друзьями, я буду подключаться к местной церкви, и сделайте все, что вы можете, чтобы выйти туда.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Бабий степ 2 – это список всех вредов, от малых до больших, независимо от уровня интереса, и атаковать их с венчанью, с всем маргином, который вы можете выделить, с всем инком, который вы можете создать, с всеми экспенсиями, которые вы можете выделить, и это может быть трудно сначала, но когда вы отберете эту первую вреду, вы будете быть на cloud 9, и вы будете чувствовать, что, о, боже, мы можем это сделать.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я бы сказала, между 25 и 30 тысяч долларов.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Так, Джессика, это будет начать с простых математик, но это будет кончиться с сокращением и изменением поведения. Ты готова к этому? Абсолютно. Да, верно.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok Ну, я думаю, что это потому, что я был... Я ютубер, настоящий ютубер.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Клифф-эдит, высокопродуктивный, много поп-культуры и мемов. Знаешь, меньше грустных звонков, которые люди в очень тяжелых ситуациях. Так что у меня есть это для меня. И они короткие. Ну, это круто, чувак. Ты долгосрочный, а я короткий. Это...
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Оставь это, Джон. Ладно, давайте перейдем к телефону. Кейлеб находится в Шатануге, Теннесси.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Кейлеб, добро пожаловать на наш канал. Привет, ребята. Спасибо, что позвонили. Что происходит? Ну, у меня есть какие-то финансовые страдания с моей девушкой. На самом деле, у меня все хорошо. У нас есть отдельный банковский аккаунт. Я никогда не думал о комбинациях или чем-то подобном, но она просто не справилась с ее финансами очень хорошо.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И это как-то привело к настоящему стрессу в нашем отношениях.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
В каком смысле? Что ты делаешь с ее деньгами?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Она не могла помочь нам с какими-либо билдами. Мы живем вместе.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
А-а-а-а, вот оно. Окей. Так что много комбинированных билдов.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Она не может платить билды? Нет, она даже не может платить свои собственные билды. Почему? Она работает полностью? Да и нет. Мы только что перелокировались. И это было проблемой.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Действительно, я думаю, что ты как-то попал в голову.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Да, это точно так. Ты идешь в правильный путь. Что меня расстраивает... Я чувствую давление, как будто она хочет, чтобы наши отношения перешли на следующий уровень.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Вы уже живете вместе. Это будет как взаимодействие или дети.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И мне не комфортно делать это с ней из-за своих финансов.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Да, да, я согласен. У вас еще не было общения с ней об этом? Да, у меня есть общение, но это просто конец аргументов и крича и прочего. У меня просто не очень хорошо, потому что даже когда мы разговариваем, она начинает открывать новые аккаунты кредитных карт и прочее.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Это превращается в жалобу. Это превращается в то, что ты чувствуешь себя, как будто ты позволяешь ей плохие решения. И если я в твоих руках, я просто говорю, что эта отношения не работают. Наши ценности слишком неотъемлемы для того, чтобы это работало. И я желаю тебе лучшего. И ты знаешь, что это означает? Кто-то должен уйти. И это будет очень странно, очень быстро.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Но что еще тяжелее, это просто остаться в этом, надеясь, что все изменится. И это просто становится хуже. И тогда у тебя будет много раздражения. И Джон Делони, он цитирует еще одного суперсмартного психолога, который сказал, что выбирайте зло за раздражение.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Примерно 12 000. Это не будет весело, но ваша жизнь на другой стороне будет намного лучше.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И ты будешь чувствовать виноват, ты будешь говорить, что она уже идет через тяжелый период, я не могу поверить, что я могу сделать это ей, но, чувак, это будет... Выбирай это из-за ненависти к женщине, которую ты любишь, да?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я живу с крипованной агрессией так долго, как я могу помнить.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Как я могу остановить это от постоянно появляться в разных сферах моей жизни?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я даже не могу функционировать, потому что я просто плачу. Моя мама уехала, когда мне было четыре. Я чувствовала, как будто у меня не было семьи.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Я боялась, что я потеряю Пауля, боялась, что я делаю неправильное дело, боялась, что мне не достаточно.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Так что держитесь на линии, мы подарим вам каждый доллар. Мы желаем вам лучшего.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Это был... Это был угроза. Угроза, да.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Испортируйте все ваши мечты. Но мы оба ютуберы, так что мы успели в этом направлении. Если это успех. Ну, давайте позвоним. Номер 888-825-5225. Мы поможем вам взять следующий шаг с вашими деньгами, вашей психической здоровьем, вашими отношениями, что бы то ни было. Мы дадим вам нашу совет. Это гарантия. Хорошо, начнем с Джессики в Бостоне. Что происходит, Джессика?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Редактор субтитров А.Семкин Корректор А.Егорова
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Эти последние четыре слова говорят мне многое. Это действительно отрицание. Она вкладывает много работы, получает ноль долларов за это, и ее имя не вкладывается в это. Так что, похоже, это все играет роль в этой картинке. Да, это шутка. They use their personal equipment to maintain it.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
And I personally don't know the full story.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Кто зарабатывает деньги? Это вопрос.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Привет. Я спрашиваю, как... Мой муж и я, мы семьей из пяти, у нас три ребенка, пять и менее. Мы оба работаем, мы делаем очень хорошую жизнь, влево от 300 тысяч в год, что почти 50 тысяч в год. Продолжение следует... Продолжение следует... Моя эмоциональная и физическая помощь уничтожают. Наш взаимодействие уничтожает. И мы хотим остановить жизнь от налогов до налогов. Как мы от этого уйдем?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
И поговорить с ним. Вы сказали, что случится, если мой муж неожиданно умер. Выбирайте, как выглядит желание, и как выглядит путешествие по планированию хозяйства, и что случится с этой ЛЛЦ, которой он часть. Я думаю, что у вас есть право знать, что случится там. Но мне кажется, что здесь больше жадности из-за того, что она делает.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Так что, может, она скажет, что «Я собираюсь уйти из этого, и вы можете приглашать врача».
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
Хорошо, давайте перейдем к телефону. Даниэль в Клевленде. Что происходит, Даниэль?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
It looks like we'll end up getting another $100,000 from an inheritance, basically, within the next month.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
I guess just looking forward, should I be paying off my home?
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
I just don't know exactly what to do with the money.
The Ramsey Show
How A Bigger Paycheck Could Lead To Bigger Problems
I just don't want it to sit there.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
So I had some legal issues with my ex-husband, and I had to take a personal loan. So if I get that payment freed up, that's almost $1,000 a month that I'm having to pay that would contribute significantly to growing my snowball.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
So pretty much all of my debt is related to the legal issues I had with my ex and then my house.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
That loan right now is about $8,500. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yeah. So my student, my four student loans range from 5,500 to about 8,000. So they're, they're right in order. It's just, Yeah. It would come before the personal loan.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yes. Three are subsidized or not subsidized. The smallest one is subsidized. So only one is not gaining interest. Okay. My employer is paying for my tuition now.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
About $135,000. While a full-time student?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
I'm not a full-time student. I work full-time and I'm doing school online.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
They would, no, it's not. And they would use the warranty to do adjustments on the half that has.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
In student loans and personal loans. So literally it is all related to... What is it? So I've got the $85,000 I said, another personal loan for $14,000, Credit card for about $27,000. I owe my mom some money, and then my house.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Hi, this is Eric. How do you do?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
I'm good. Thank you. Do you have any questions for me before I ask my question?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Okay. Well, here's the story. I have two children. I have a son, 37, and a daughter, 27. Okay. And I have, you know, for a few years, I've had a dream of becoming wealthy and being able to afford to buy a home for my children. And that is starting to look like a reality, but I was thinking about it, like, is this something I really want to do?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
And I realized that by giving them a home, I'm not really giving them anything. I'm taking away the that they would have of achieving this milestone on their own. So I... I mean, are you picking the home?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
I was thinking I would help them pick a home, but I just... I don't think it's a good idea. I think they... It'd be more satisfaction if they could do it themselves.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
So... Well, I came up with the idea of putting an incentive plan together for them to start saving up for a down payment. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
I'm talking about buying individual homes for them.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Not that much right now, but I own two software companies that are both doing well.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
We'll have two cars left after the bankruptcy. One is $18,000, and one is about $43,000 left, and then just a student loan for about $3,000. And that will be all that's left after the bankruptcy.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Hey, yeah, I got a quick question for you. So me and my wife were trying to get out of debt as fast as we can. We've got a pretty big mortgage that we took out two years ago on the house. So it was $637,000 for the house. We put 20% down. So we're at $508,000. We've been paying that for two years. Our interest rates is $5.99. Payments are $3,446 a month.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
But I've been making additional payments on it because I don't want to be here forever. So right now, for a year and a half, we've been doing about $5,000 to $5,200 on it. And this is your only debt? Yeah. This is my only debt. I have credit card debt. I own all my houses. I own all my cars. I don't use credit cards. I only use them for like a debit card, basically.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
It's a credit card, but I pretend like it's a debit card. We just pay it off.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
So my thing is me and my wife, we're working on it real hard to pay it down. We're looking at we're on track to pay this off in 11 years. It's a 30-year loan, but if we keep paying the way we are, we should be done in 11 years. I've also been putting money aside, saving, because...
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
I believe that if you have a savings on the side, more feed doesn't show up in your life as long as you have a good savings on the side.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
So my thing is, so me and my wife have been doing that. We've been putting away. So in savings, I've got 95K, and I've got it in a high savings interest. It's at 3.7%, so we're making some off of it.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
But my thing is, I'm trying to decide, talking to my wife, is like, do... We've been kind of waiting and hoping that the interest rates would go down, but I don't think they're going to. We were thinking about taking a big lump sum right now from my savings and putting a big down payment to knock the loan down even more.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Or do I just stay the course that we're doing because we are knocking it down pretty quick?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yeah. We had, in 2019, I had a surgery that went bad and was out of work for about a year because I was quite dependent. And so we my I was paying rent on credit cards. I mean, I did everything using your credit card and all of the really expensive medical bills and therapies that I was having to do. So you said you did chapter 13, which would be the payment plan. Yeah. Yeah. So I did chapter 13.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
We were keeping up with the payment plan as best we could. But my son got diagnosed with autism. He's two and a half. And so his therapy costs are through the roof. And so we couldn't even keep up with the chapter 13 payment plan anymore. And so after about a year and a half, we've done a conversion into chapter seven.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
No, because we are worth so little that, like, even our, like, we fall under all of the exemptions. I have all the homestead exemption and the wildcard exemption, I think, or something in Texas. Like, nothing we own is worth that.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yes. Yeah, I was behind on the student loans for quite a while, and I just made a payment this month and caught it back up.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Okay. Question. With the car, one of them, my parents bought it for me because I wrecked my car literally right after we had filed for Chapter 13. Which one? Was that the 18 or the 43? The 18. So I couldn't even get a new car if I wanted to. So my lovely parents said, let us do it for you. We'll pay cash. You pay us. So you're paying them right now?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Hey, guys. Thanks for taking our call today.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Sure. So I want to know if I should sell my car or not. So I'm on baby step two and I'm doing the debt snowball right now. I'm working on a credit card. It's about 3000 and then paying the minimum payments on my car. And I'm not sure if I should sell it or not.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yeah. So I owe about 11 K on it. And I did the Kelly blue book. It's between six and eight.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
My take-home is about $50,000, $41,000 a month.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yeah, that's what I was battling with. I wasn't sure because I'd heard in other different segments to get rid of it and take the little bit of hit.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Are you throwing at least $1,000 toward these? Yeah, I put about $1,100 into my debt per month. Perfect.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Hey there. Um, I was just calling because, uh, about a month ago I finished baby step two and I am, I've been doing it for six years and I'm just like not feeling the excitement that I see other people doing it. I still feel like a gazelle by a lion.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
I, I don't, I, that's the thing is I, I just can't figure it out. You know, um, why'd you start this in the first place?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
I had a business that got destroyed by a tornado, ripped the roof off my house, and blew both of my business buildings to the ground, and I ended up In severe debt. And I was about $120,000 in the hole. And I opened up my fridge and I had no food in there. And I had about $1.50 to my name. And I just fell on the ground crying. And I was like, I got to change something.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
So I got a second and third job and hustled my way to where I am now.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
To date, it's about $125,000, $126,000. Wow.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yep. So I pay them $400 a month when I can.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yeah, you know, I, you know, I know Dave normally says like, hey, go, you know, talk to a pastor or something like that. Unfortunately, my pastor has just left the church two months ago. I'm kind of, you know, I don't really have family relationships. I don't have any like mentorship.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yeah, well, you know, everything in my life is going very well, but I just like don't feel good. the way I think I should be.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
About $17,000. It's not. We're not underwater too much.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Oh, I'm sorry. That's okay. Yep. We have 294 left of our principal, and if we put it on the market today, we would list it for $345.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Hey, so my dad and mom bought a house in 2019 that I'm currently living in with my five children, and I want to buy it from them. Okay. But there's a problem. but I don't know if I can necessarily afford it just with everything going on with economy and my personal finances. And I just, and I feel like right now it's a little bit of a,
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Like I need to, the timeline has been rushed because my mom passed away and my dad's going to get remarried soon. And so I just feel like my financial security with my kids is up in the air a little bit.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
I was living there alone. It's considered a second home.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Just because he just retired as well. And so I think that he wants to kind of gain more financial freedom from us. From you? Well, you know what I mean.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
It does. They bought the house for $510,000, and it was in the middle of my divorce, so we didn't want to put my name on it so it wasn't going to be tied at all to any of the proceedings. What's left on the mortgage? He I'm pretty well, he we agreed that I would buy it for the price. So it doesn't really matter.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Hey guys, thanks for having me on today. You're welcome. So I have, my husband and I are currently in the process of converting our Chapter 13 bankruptcy into a Chapter 7. And we just found out a couple weeks ago that our home has some pretty expensive foundation repairs that could be necessary that could cost around $25,000. And we don't want to go into any more debt for that.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
I guess that's the thing is I don't know. I don't know which route because we've never done this before. What would be the best for both of us going into this? Like, should I? But I don't think I would qualify by myself.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yeah. But it's become my kid's home.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yeah, and our hope was maybe if we sell it, and even if we get 10, 15 after closing costs, we put that into a high-yield savings, we rent for two years, build up a down payment, and then... you know, hopefully get into that debt-free, start immediately working on.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
No, because I'm not sure if I should try and get my own conventional. And I don't think I would even... I don't know if I would qualify or if there's some kind of a way for me to assume.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
What's your income? So gross from my job, I make about $80,000 a year. But then I have alimony for the next three years, and I'm graduating soon.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
with my doctorate and so i'm hoping to get a bump and increase in my circumstances but i mean it's not set down yet george has got the mortgage calculator pulled up let's just run some quick math and see are you debt free um i have about 11 000 in um in debt okay 11 000 in debt my cars are paid off what's the 11 000 Just credit cards. I have medical expenses. I have special needs kids.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
No, because it's been used.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yeah, that would have to be it. And that's what makes me nervous. I just don't think I can do it. That's going to be $4,000 a month, which is going to be most of your take-home pay. Right, yeah, because I think my take-home is about... I'm trying to think because I have 401. I try to pay in as much as I can.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
I think he's... Yeah, I think he's willing. He's been pretty supportive up until now. I think it's just because my mom's death was very unexpected. I'm sorry. It just increased the timeline.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
We make annual combined about 153. So not bad at all. Like we bring in good monthly income. It just, it costs us so much. It feels like to live. So our mortgage right now is is three thousand one hundred a month.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Hi, how's it going, Jade and George? It's going good. Oh, very good, very good. Well, I just paid off, on November, I paid off $89,600 approximately, and it was my house.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Way to go. Thank you, thank you.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Right, yeah, yeah, like it's no big deal, but it really was a big deal in my life, absolutely.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
It took me, well, paying off the house, it took me about eight years. But when I started the Ramsey plan, it was about six and a half years.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yeah, so I started following the baby steps in about July 2018. I heard about it in January. It took me about six months to ditch the credit cards. I thought I was winning with my 800 credit score, my credit card rewards. But from July 2018, it took me about six and a half years to pay off the house from when I got full gazelle intense on the day of plan, 100%.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
My range of income was about $50,000 to $80,000. Wow.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
I'm a middle school languages teacher.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yes, absolutely. That's rare.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yeah, absolutely. Well, number one, I bought a house that I could afford and also just worked extra jobs and came home from school and just ready to game on. I was just ready to get the house paid off. I was really, really happy about getting it done.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
For me, I was already a little bit weird. I already knew before I'd ever heard of Dave that I really wanted to get the house paid off, but once I heard about Dave and I really had the baby steps and I really started following them 100%, it was just game on and I was just ready to do it. It really became an obsession, honestly.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
We've been looking at places, because I told my husband, if we're moving and renting, I want to have as little as possible. So we're looking at places that are max $2,400. Okay, good. But we do have... to a two-year-old, a one-year-old, and one on the way that's coming in August.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yeah, I kind of I called the show back in 2018. And that's when I really started getting full game. And Dave told me, he said, it's just going to be a short amount of time where you have to, you know, you have to pause retirement, that kind of stuff here. Dave told me, I think you'll get paid off in five years. Well, it took me just over six from that point. So I'm sure he's not too disappointed.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Oh, yeah, absolutely. What were the side gigs you had? Oh, I had a lot. I worked for the U.S. Census. I worked for Subway for a while. I worked as an interpreter. I interpreted Spanish over the phone. So, yeah, a lot of side gigs. And I'm also in the Air Force National Guard and everything. Yeah. That's incredible. Thank you.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
were cheering me on, thought it was great. So I got a lot of encouragement from friends, family, and just people that I'd met who found out about the journey.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
What's your next financial goal now that you've hit baby step seven? Oh, it's awesome. My next financial goal, well, number one, I've kind of been putting off some of the repairs on the house. I got to get that, saving up a little bit for that, eventually get another car. But what I would love to do is go over to France and just learn French for a while. Yeah. Save up for that. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yeah, it really feels great. It feels like a big load off my shoulders. I don't have to work these extra jobs anymore. So it feels kind of nice to come home from work and not have to work anymore. So it's been wonderful. It's been a great, great journey. Really glad it's over and really excited for the future. What's the home worth? The home is worth just about $200,000. Nice.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
What do you have in the nest egg?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Wow. That sounds about right. It's, it's, it's kind of crazy when you say that out loud, but yeah, that does sound, that does sound right.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yeah, a little bit, a little bit. I would say probably definitely realistically within the next five, 10 years, it's, it's probably going to happen. Oh yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
I say it's definitely possible. Like, like I said before, you gotta buy an affordable home. So this might not be a nice house. A lot of people want to upgrade their houses. A lot of people want to take a, you know, take a heat lock out to, to get things, get things upgraded.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Just if you're laser focused and really willing to work extra jobs and really worrying, really willing to, to stay focused on, on that goal. It is, it is definitely, definitely possible. Wow. You know, if you live by what you guys teach them, you mentioned it before. Twenty five percent of your take home pay.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
If you start with that and you work very hard and you put all the extra income you can on the principle of the balance, it'll get paid off in no time. And that's exactly what I did.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Three, two, one. I'm debt free.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Hi, thanks so much for taking my call. So my question is, should I start increasing my investment contributions as the stock market drops to capitalize off of some of these lower prices and costs right now?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Like five, six, and seven. I don't have any debt. I do more than the 15% now, and I'm just trying to save up to buy a house in addition to my retirement. So you haven't bought a house yet. Correct.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
It's over 15% because I do. So it's probably 18 to 20%.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
I am saving up for that. I mean, I want to pay full cash right now. I have about $12,000 for a down payment, but I'm looking eventually, you know, for... six years from now to pay full cash for all.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Good. So my husband and I, we finally took financial peace this spring. We are almost out of debt, and we have reached a three-month fully funded emergency fund when my motor needed to be replaced. We were able to pay in cash to get a motor to put into our 15-year-old vehicle, and a few weeks later, the car started acting up again.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
The shop told us that the transmission is going out, but it can wait a little bit longer, and we don't have the cash right now to cover all of it, so we decided to wait. Yesterday, the same car started smoking. We don't know the source of this yet or what it might cost to fix it. Currently, our savings is down to about a one-month emergency savings because of the motor.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
We have three children, and we are expecting our fourth to arrive in about three weeks.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yes. Our 15-year-old car has 175,000 miles on it. And it will cost a minimum of $5,000 to fix. That's just the cost of the transmission. We don't know about what the new thing is. We have found a decent replacement car, but the price tag is $15,000 before interest and all the fees. But this car only has 85,000 miles on it.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Our concern is that since this is the only family car we have, should we go into debt fixing a 15-year-old car, or should we go into debt by getting a used car?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Yes, our monthly income is $9,000. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
Right. I think my husband is very concerned about us even being in the car before it being fixed.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
So we don't have a mortgage right now. We have a rental cost right now, which is only $1,200.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
So we're wondering if we should sell our home and rent in the meantime in order to kind of restart our lives back after this bankruptcy.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
It's one, but half of the house has already had foundation repairs. So that half is already warrantied. So it's kind of a weird situation where we feel like we need to use that company in order to use the warranty on the half that has been done.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
No, it has. Texas Foundation is weird. Half of the foundation only needed it at one point, so they only did the repairs back a long time ago. And now the other half has kind of shifted and needs about the same repairs.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Messing Around & Follow the Plan That’s Proven To Work
So I want to do my snowball out of order. And I have a reason. So I am a full-time working adult student. I have paid off several debts till now. My next four debts are student loans. Because I'm still a student, I don't have a payment due on them. So I wanted to jump to my if debt that would make it so that I can free up a payment and do my snowball, grow my snowball faster.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Uh, I haven't created a budget and that's the first thing that I need to do. I'm taking the financial peace university class through my church right now. We just did the first lesson.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
I think that it's to be there for her. That's what I feel, but I'm not sure. I know that I want to build wealth, and I'm trying to figure out a way to do that.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
I am, yeah. I'm meeting with a therapist. Good. It's a Christian therapist, so...
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
No. What were the stated wishes? That the three beneficiaries were her son and then the other two brothers.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
The house sold for about, it was listed at $795,000. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Hey, how's it going? Great. How are you? So I'm great. Me and my husband are both currently out of debt except for our mortgage, which we bought a house recently. Cool. And I know that the Ramsey program doesn't endorse ever going back into debt after you're out of debt. But we are considering taking out a loan to build a mother-in-law suite in my backyard for my 82-year-old grandmother.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
So she's slowing down, for sure. But you don't want her in the house.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Everything that was in the house, tractors, cars, everything. I mean, he had two acres.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
We both have very strong personalities, and we both agree that that probably wouldn't work. Uh-huh, uh-huh.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
So we think we can build something pretty nice for around $50,000 to $60,000 in our backyard.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Or will she have her own entrance? So it would be her own entrance and her own kitchenette. And her own kind of little garden area in the back.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
No. So we're looking at a couple of like the kits that you can get. And so some of the work we might do ourselves after we have the kit to save on cost. What do you mean by kit? Yeah. So they have like, you know, like modular home kits. So like, you know, like there's, there's like, it, it comes up a little bit cheaper because then they're not having to put the house together on site.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
They put the house together before and they either bring it to you or essentially grandma's living in a souped up shipping container.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
That is the goal. So she also has, oh my gosh, I can't remember what it's called, but she gets very dizzy sometimes. And so my fear is that she falls. Vertigo. Vertigo, that is it. And if she falls, she's in Texas. Yeah. And, you know, we talk every couple days on the phone, but... you know, nobody checks on her that often. So she's in Texas.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Speaking to a lawyer, they said it would probably be about $100,000 for everything in the house because we don't have any documentation for it.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
So Orlando rent is very expensive. She also currently lives on, so it's a family ranch property that just, she lives on down in Texas because nobody else lives in Texas. So I, I just think that like her going from living with all of this open land to putting her in an apartment is,
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
would be a rough transition for her you're squeezing her into the little kit as it is but we're we're on an acre property so at least okay okay you know we have outdoors available that she could sit outside and feel fresh air and she's not super close with her like you're not yeah up against what would happen what would happen with her property there would you
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
So it's currently in an undivided interest between my uncle, me, my brother, and my grandmother.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yeah, there's too many people involved that it would make sense to sell. Would they buy her share out then? Mm-hmm. We have talked about trying to buy her share out. Wouldn't that be you buying her share out? It would. It's not something that we can do right now because we just purchased our home. We're not looking to try and purchase that other part of the property.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
So my brother is not financially responsible in a way that he could support that. And then she has two sons, one that lives in Tennessee and another that does live in a different part of Florida, that they would never take on the cost of having her come live with them or near them.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yes, minus the back taxes that were paid when the house sold. How much was that? Not very much, less than $50,000. Okay. But he also did a complete remodel to the house that we didn't know about either. I don't know if that is in the consideration or not.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Well, and it's not something that I really regret. Like, this woman has poured into me my entire life. Oh, sure. I mean, this is family. Yeah, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
So it's not that she, so she is very small expenses since the house is paid off and it's on the ranch. So it's not that she doesn't have any money. What is her income? So she has Social Security, and I'm not sure what Social Security pays her a month. And then she had some savings that she got from my grandfather.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
possible and we haven't gotten in depth into finances with each other yet that she would she would contribute some of it so like but if we paid sixty thousand dollars for a kid she probably wouldn't be able to afford the full sixty thousand dollars well how much was it did she get from what how much is in her savings from her husband that that i don't know so we need to find that out very frugal
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Well, I accidentally came upon the house being listed on Zillow when I was looking at land prices in that area. I saw the house that my father-in-law built on Zillow.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Hey, how's it going? I had a question, basically. I'm 25. I just had twins two weeks ago or three weeks ago, and I actually had a stroke last week, a small one, but I'm doing better now, and I'm back at work, actually. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Yeah, I also have a toddler. He's two. That being said, about two years ago when my son was first born, I got into a really horrible financial decision.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
This was before I knew the Dave Ramsey show and everything that y'all preach about. I got a car from my wife because we needed two vehicles. I was working out of town. And when I say I have a horrible interest rate, it's horrible. It's 22%. It was a stupid decision. I'm debating on either doing a voluntary repossession.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
It's not that I can't afford the vehicle, but it's just I've had the vehicle two years, and $2,000 has been paid towards the principal with $500 a month payments. Another thing being said, I did recently get approved to get it refinanced at a lower interest rate. Still not great, but it's at 13%. I'll take it.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Um, this has been going on a little bit before the household in October. So a couple of months before that.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
So I'm basically asking if I should refinance it or just go ahead and do a voluntary repossession. Why can't you sell it? How far underwater are you? It's pretty bad. The vehicle is worth $7,500, and I owe about $18,200. It was a horrible decision on my part. At the time, I was extremely, extremely desperate for a vehicle. I went to the first place I could, didn't even look around.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
She needed a vehicle, and I needed my truck for work. I was working about four hours from home at the time and staying out of town. And she, of course, had our newborn son, my oldest one, who is currently two.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
I have a credit card of $400 on. I'm actually going to pay that off today. And then I have my truck, which I owe $7,000 on. The truck loan, it is a low interest rate because I did a collateral loan on it. We moved into a house renting it, and it was... What's the truck worth? The truck's worth pretty much what I owe on it. It's worth about $9,500.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
And then I have a vehicle that is paid off, another truck. So the reason I was debating voluntary repossession of the Jeep was I would give her the truck that I currently owe on. It's a nicer truck, big back seat. It'll fit all three of the kids, the double stroller in the back. And it's got the best ACI I've ever had.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yeah, that's what I'm currently doing. I'm currently driving my paid-off vehicle for work. I'm a welder.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yeah, I could probably, if I were to sell this one, the paid off one, I could probably get about $6,000 or $7,000 for it.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Because it's kind of a funny situation with that one. That one, I don't necessarily make the payment on it, if that makes sense. I have 12 siblings, and one of my younger brothers is actually making the payment on it every month. So he pays the insurance, he pays the payment every month. It was to kind of help him out in a sense and to kind of get rid of that payment for me.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
No, the loan's completely in my name. My dad wrote us up a contract to where once the loan's paid off, the title goes to him. And then if for some reason he doesn't want the vehicle, by the time he pays it off and everything he put into it, if he does not get any of it back, it would just go towards the loan balance.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yeah, it's kind of a sticky situation. He's 18 and he went out and about and he was going to be in the same situation I was in. He called me for advice the day he was about to.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yeah, so that's our next step with the bank. We're actually talking to the bank about getting the truck that I have the loan on out of my name and financing it into his name. The only situation with that is because he's only 18. They're wanting to give him a lot higher interest rate.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Well, he is not talking to us. He won't answer calls. He won't return anything from his lawyer. Mm hmm. And we found out that the only thing that his lawyer has for us is a cashier's check for $5,000.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
I make about currently probably... $5,000 a month, Ned.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
So we are about just over $60,000 in debt, and we are wondering how we can get ourselves out of this situation and what the next steps are.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Bad choices, bad decisions. What kind of debt is it?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yes, we have 44,000, just over 44,000 in car loans. How many cars? Two. Okay. Is it split even like 20 and 22 or what is it? Oh, no.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Okay, what else? And then we got about three loans combined. That's about $13,400. Okay. Just personal loans? Two were kind of personal loans, and one was a shed. Okay. So $13,000 in loans. What else? Then about $750 in credit cards, and then... Hospital bills is almost $2,000. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Together we bring home about $90,000 a year. Awesome. That's take-home. Okay, good.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Well, Kelly Blue booked it, and it says it's about worth $12,000. You just got it. Oh, gosh. I just got it. Did you roll over? Did you roll over bad equity? No. Negative? I got it myself. I got it as a surprise to him because I started working because I've been a stay-at-home mom. So I got really excited making money and made a bad decision.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Kind of just seeing it all together and I don't know. Something was going through me. I guess I got a little excited because I was finally making money that I made versus him. And I guess I got excited and thought he deserved something nice. What'd he say? He loved it. He's quite different from me. I don't think he cares as much about the debt as I do.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
My brother-in-law won't return any phone calls to the lawyer. Got it. OK, so now you guys basically on the run.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
I already told him, y'all are going to hit on my head. Y'all are going to tell us to probably sell some stuff. And I was like, I already know what they're going to say. But what's he think to that? He usually just agrees with me.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yeah. I've wanted to do that, but together it's 19,000 negative equity. And we've tried to get a loan to cover that difference. So we could sell them and we cannot get a loan. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yeah, we have, including all the debts, it's about $5,000 a month with regular bills, everything else.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Good. So my question is, I need some help trying to navigate, navigate if I should navigate sell my house, rent my house, or stay in my house. And I'm a mom of two, I have a 12-year-old, I have a newborn, and I'm really just trying to, I'm starting to really feel the heat of wanting to save for retirement, save for college, just having money to build experiences with my daughters.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
So the payment is, oh, it's decent. It's just that I feel like I'm one house emergency away from. So my mortgage, the mortgage I have now, I also have two extra mortgages or what they call partial claims because I ran into like repairs and it really set me back and I wasn't able to make that mortgage payment.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
So total is one 30, like one, I would say one 40 is one 38 and some change.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
And what's the take home pay per month that you're bringing in? About 4,400. I make about 85 K a little bit over 85 K. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Well, I have a newborn. So that's my, you know, the cost of having a newborn. But I also have, I don't have any consumer debt. I have a car payment and I have a student loan.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
I guess what my issue is, is even with the house thing. So I live directly across the street from a hospital. I'm able to move back in with my mom and have space and everything. But it's just even the idea of renting it to like traveling nurses and things. It's just the money for the repairs. So even just selling my car. where was that?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Where's the money going to come from to buy another car that I need now?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Well, the house was my father-in-law's that he built this house on two acres. Okay. And it was just an agreement between all of us that we weren't going to do anything right away because— A written agreement or just a phone call? No, no, just talking. Okay. That we didn't want to sell anything because we would like one of the three of us to buy the other two out and keep the property. Got you.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Well, the allure to move in with mom is just based on speaking to real estate agents and The lure is to get out of debt. It's really just to get out of debt, simplify, and just really try to rebuild from there. Plus, my mom would be there, so I would have the support.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
The student loans are $20,000, $23,000. Anything else?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
That makes me feel really good to hear.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Not at the moment, no. I'm not able to. And that's what a lot of the things, when I was trying to think about how would I, especially with this newborn, maybe once he gets a little bit older. Maybe.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
I am. No, not really. No child support?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
No. And really, honestly, it's making me feel a lot better if I could figure out what I can do instead of just putting myself out there again to try to see if somebody else would help me.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yes, I did save my thousand dollars for the first baby step. And I think I have like maybe two more days. So I was trying to figure out how I would do like improvements with the house and stuff like that.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Okay. But he went behind our back, and we knew nothing about the remodel, anything. He was still talking to us. about how it would be awesome that we moved there and things like that. Completely lying to us.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
No, no. And I really want to get into that.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Hi, you guys. How can we help? So I have... It's kind of an emotional question, but basically our brother-in-law has not done what he was expected to do as the executor of a will that we would be involved in. And it's got to the point where we would need a lawyer. So that is my question.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Hi, thank you for taking my call. Sure. So I'm calling to ask if it's okay to use a portion of our children's 529 plans that we have been setting aside to help fund my graduate program.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
It's a doctorate for nurse practitioner.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
The total program is $81,000 without scholarships and grants, which I'm really hoping to get.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Okay, so the program I'm going to do part-time, and it's over five years, and I'm going to try and cash flow most of it. I don't know because I'm still kind of transitioning from stay-at-home mom to working. I do work as a registered nurse right now part-time. I don't know how much I'm going to be able to work while in the program. And so I'm just trying to figure out if I need to dip into it.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
you know, can, is that wrong to be taking out of the 529?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
When I was looking on Zillow, we were getting prices for the land to find out how much the land was going for. So we knew how much we would be paying. for us to move back there.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
14 and 16. And I think that they're They're trying to do service missions and such after high school. And so they would probably be entering college at the same time that I would be graduating. And my in-laws graciously have made a 529 plan separately that could actually fund their first year of college.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Right. And actually, we don't need any of my income. We move off of my husband's income. And so really, like my first year out of this doctorate program, like I'd be able to give all of any income I make to, you know, my kids' college.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
And so after health insurance, what we taxes, what we pay to retirement, because we're in baby steps four, five, six. Awesome. It's about $122,000.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yeah, so we actually did have a family council about this, and we talked it over with our kids because we're pretty transparent with finances with our kids. And so, like, they're okay. They're okay with me returning to school. They understand what we've agreed to pay for for their college. They know about the 529s that their grandparents have made for them. And, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
like everyone's on the same page and they're okay with it. They're supportive of it.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Well, so I'm just doing kind of an as needed right now. I probably make about 18,000 a year, which is nothing. Um, But as a nurse practitioner in this area, and I want to do a pediatric acute care, which is like emergency, they could probably bring between $110,000 and $140,000 a year.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Hi, you guys. Thank you so much for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
I just wanted to say praise God for you guys. I have some hope again after putting my head in the sand. I have a lot of medical school debt and we're just in kind of. I'd say one third of the way through baby step two, but I still have a lot of medical school debt left. And so my question was, I have this high medical school debt, but I also have high interest rates on them.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
So I was wondering if I should consolidate to get a lower rate so that as I'm working through it, I'm not just kind of treading water.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
It's a $700,000 in medical school debt that has accumulated over time, and it's broken down into 11 different loans, and it's between 6.8% and 8.5%. Are they private? No, they're federal.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yeah, I think so. Yeah, that's what the numbers show. And we're being very intense about it and got every dollar and we're on the way. And I'm probably going to cry, but I had my head in the sand for so long and started out with $400,000 and then accumulated this $300,000. And I feel like you guys are such a godsend. I feel like this is exactly what God was telling me to do.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
And I feel like we can be the lenders, not the borrowers. That's right. Preach.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Hey, guys. Appreciate it. Thanks for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
So my wife and I were on Baby Step 7. I'm 36. Yeah, yeah. That's amazing. I know.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
appreciate it um well you know we've grinded away our whole lives uh live below our means done all the things that you guys say it's worked well we've got a couple young kids at home and we're rolling into a nice summer and we've got the itch to put in a pool yes my kind of call that's right um a lot of money uh the biggest thing for us is something that we're gonna do it we want to do it while the kids are young but we don't want to
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
And do you know if you have to pay an attorney to do that for you? That's that's my main question, if we should pay attorney fees for such.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
but our retirement future in jeopardy either. You know, we want to be able to thrive in our late 40s, 50s, and 60s. So I want to know what you guys would have to say about it.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Well, yeah, yeah. To do it right, it's probably going to be about $150,000 or so.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yeah, I feel like we've done pretty well. For retirement and investments, we've got about $3, $3.5 million. Woo! Is that a thought?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yeah, so in those, it's about $50,000, $50,000. split between brokerage so you cash out uh you know 150 grand of the brokerage a little more to counter and factor in taxes right count capital gains yeah it would probably be a mix of that and then just cash flow in it um with what we have coming in do it yeah do it and i try to cash flow as much as possible Yeah. Wow. OK. All right.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
I didn't think it would be that easy. It's just we've never been accustomed to spending that. Don't get me wrong. We haven't lived scorched earth. We've lived a good life, but we have tried to live below our means. So when we're talking six figures to dig a hole in the ground and put water in, it seems it seems a little bit crazy. But we are.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
That's right. That's right. We can do it.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
This is very exciting. In y'all's terms, baby steps, right? That's right.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Hey, guys. It's great to speak with you guys. Absolutely. What's your question today? Yeah, I was calling to see if me and my wife should pause our tithe-giving fund to pay down debt a little sooner. We currently give about 10% of our income. We save it and give it where needed, whether it's our local church or to missionaries overseas. But we were just trying to see.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
We'd probably save maybe $600 extra a month if I were to either cut it in half or not give at all.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yes, yeah. My dad instilled that into me for a long time, so I've been giving 10% for a long time.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yeah. And that makes a lot of sense. And that's, you know, I appreciate that advice. And, you know, like I said, we've been giving for a long time and I don't think it'll make it break us getting out of debt. But I was like, man, I could probably put, you know, six, seven hundred more.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Hi. I was calling in because I'm trying to figure out my next steps on trying to build wealth and spend time with my daughter after my wife has left.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Should we pursue a lawsuit even if we don't have the money for a lawyer, but we would probably have the money once the lawsuit was settled?
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
There was a few marital issues, but I feel like she left very prematurely. We hadn't even been married a year yet when she had left.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
I actually have a daughter from a previous relationship. She's 12, almost 13 years.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yeah, I have full custody of her. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Mostly, a lot of debts in... my name, but there is a car that she took out dead on before we got married.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
It's just on my name, but I did co-sign for a truck for her brother. Oh my goodness.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
He's making payments, yes. I've also talked to him about him refinancing into his name. So I'm hoping that he can go through with that.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
No, she left the phone and hasn't talked to me since. She left her phone.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Well, I do have contact with her sister and her mother because they're not happy with her choices. And so I do have contact there. So I know that she's alive. She just moved to like a town 30 minutes away.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
So my father-in-law passed away in 2018 and left everything to his wife, which is my stepmother-in-law. She passed away in 2020, leaving everything to her son, which is a stepbrother, and then two other brothers. The stepbrother that's the executor of the will... Went and sold everything in the house, sold the house, the land, all of it. Okay. Behind our back. Behind our back.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
We are totally legally married. And I'm trying to do things the biblical way. I hope that there's... There's reconciliation, but there was quite a few problems with parenting and whatnot, and she's with another guy right now.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
I would say the debt that I have for my car and credit cards is about $4,500, and the truck is $28,000. Okay, that you co-signed for.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Well, I'm emotionally, I'm trying to move on and I have a job that's about 40 hours a week. And I also do like Instacart and Spark, which is like delivering groceries to people. And I don't want to spend all my time working because I want to spend time with my daughter. But I'm trying to also find that that good comparison because I know that she's going through a hard time and
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Yeah, I'm in public housing right now, like state funded housing.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
It's about $33,000 with my full-time job.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
It's working as a mental health technician in a child's hospital.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Obsessing Over Pennies While Ignoring the Plan
Right. I think there's potential to move up, but I'm not sure what the pay scale looks like.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
So I'm kind of lost financially. I'm not really too sure what to do. I'm in a good spot, but I'd like to see if y'all are in my shoes. How would you, what would you do in the future coming up? All right, lay it out. So me and my wife previously had a home. Then we, we actually just moved back in with my dad. He, um, he's not far just anything. He just wants us to save money.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
I currently have 14,000 in my bank account. Um, we got a little surprised when we moved in and my wife is now six months pregnant. So yeah, I don't really know if I should just keep saving and then buy a home or if some people were telling me to buy a trailer, some people are telling me to buy a home. I'm not really too sure.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
All I'm doing is just putting money in my checking account and I don't really know what direction to go.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
I don't have any. I actually just paid all mine off.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
Well, right now, the only thing we really have is my wife got a new car about six months ago. Is there a payment on it?
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
yeah it's about henry that's debt homie we got to start off this relationship with honesty i asked if you were debt free well i'm thinking of me she put it in her name she did all about herself no y'all are y'all any money she owes you oh was this against your will or were you an accomplice in the crime um well see i work a lot like i'm i get work on call so i was one of those on call working in
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
So I make $21.50. She makes $19 an hour.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
Well, she told me she was looking at them, and then, I mean...
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
And that's the thing I'm worried about. So every week I've been doing a lot of overtime. So I've been slowly building up, buying diapers, buying things to be prepared. It's just. Yeah, don't do any of that.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
Yeah, I can definitely do that. I guess my next question would be how would we get out of it? Because, I mean, it's 15% APR, 740 a month. Holy smokes, bro. What's left on the loan? I'm sorry?
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
The principal is $32,936. So did she put nothing down? We put $4,000 down.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
Yeah, when we were looking at it just to sell it, I mean, I'm probably paying about $4,000 or $5,000 just to get rid of it now. Do it.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
I have a spare vehicle, but it actually broke down, but I don't have another vehicle. So you guys are a one-car family. Yeah. I have a company vehicle, so I don't have to drive a personal vehicle to get to work.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
With insurance, it's almost $1,000 a month.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
That is a lot. I almost had a stroke when I saw it. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
Yeah, now she's trying to figure out what we can do. Because now she's on the same page because before I wanted to just buy a cheap beater. Yes, absolutely. So that's all I've ever done.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
Hey friends, the first episode of 90 Day Money Makeover is available right now. This new series follows real people as they take on the challenge of transforming their finances and their lives in just 90 days. Watch as they navigate the highs and lows of this journey and as I walk alongside of them every step of the way. Okay, now here's a little sneak peek of what the new episode is all about.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
She's got a lot going on. We've got to simplify it. She's got the farm, the divorce, the debt. We're just praying the money's there, I guess.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
Are you ready to commit to it? Are you going to do it? I need help.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
My gosh, it's good to see you. Do I want to pet a chicken? No. I see you doing a lot that wasn't even part of the homework, and we're only at the 30-day point. I want to be on day.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
There's no guarantee that the bank would let her keep the house. I want you to start dreaming what another living situation might look like if it doesn't go your way.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Never Too Late to Clean Up a Financial Mess
Very few people are sitting on one variable that could change everything.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Yes, I absolutely agree. We absolutely can.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Uh, my husband makes about 75,000 a year. He's working. Um, he has a steady job during the week and then he has a Saturday job as well.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I am not. I'm a stay at home mom right now. We have a two year old little girl. Um, I've worked a lot of freelance marketing in the past for myself, so on occasion I pick up jobs here and there when companies I've worked with want to hire me again, but it's usually just like a small contract of work.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
But the big like question that I have is after we closed and started doing some renovations and projects on the house, we found out. that the vacant land behind our house is there is a developer attempting to get it rezoned to put 1,100 apartments on. So right now we're in a very, like, spread out. It's all, I know, it's all, like, acre lots.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Everybody is spread out, and then they're going to plop about 50 or 60 acres behind us, and they're going to put 1,100 apartments. Yeah. We are kind of on the fence. So we bought the house last fall for $360,000. We've already put about $40,000 into it. It appraised for $380,000. We could maybe sell it for anywhere right now between $380,000 to $400,000.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Do we go ahead and take advantage of that development not being there yet and sell it and potentially have a loss? I don't think we'd have to bring money to closing.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Because the market isn't as good as it was in October.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
That's kind of how I'm feeling about it.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Hey, how y'all doing today? Good. How are you? I'm good. I had a question. Me and my wife is currently in baby step two. We have about $30,000 worth of credit card debt. And I currently have a truck that is worth about $39,000, but I'm $10,000 upside down on it.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I didn't know if it would be wise to pause the baby steps and just try to pay the $10,000 negative off and get rid of the truck and then resume the baby steps.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Well, funny story. So we had just started. I had $1,000, and then my truck broke, and it was the auxiliary battery and the transmission cable, so that cost $1,100. So now I'm back to baby step one. Ouch.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Oh, heck no, because they're very small apartments that are going to be at a very reasonable-slash-low rent, which isn't going to attract high-end tenants either. And we are going to be sharing a property line – Oh, and eminent domain's going to come in and take, like, the third of my front yard because they're going to have to widen the road.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
And then whenever I was Kelly Blue Booking it, it said that it's worth about $28,000 or so, like selling it.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Yeah, yeah. That's a private party. Like the trade-in was like $22,000 or something. I was like, oh. What caused that? I originally rolled like $6,000.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Well, yeah, so I had a bad truck, and I rolled $6,000 negative into it originally, and then I bought the truck new a couple years ago. That explains it.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Right. So like when I calculated, um, so, uh, I'm able to work overtime and then my wife as a nurse, she can work overtime. But, um, I was also, uh, sparking on the side, um, um, to make extra money like that. What was that? What were you doing on the side? Sparking? Yes, sir. The Walmart delivery grocery service. Oh, okay.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Oh, Lord, no. Yeah, so I've been doing that all the time. So I should be able to pay the $10,000 off, I would think, in three to four months.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
We have a couple cards that are like $1,000 and then like $1,500. So we do have some smaller cards, but... You know, I just didn't know if it would, like, speed up the process. Because, you know, like, the Jeep costs a lot in gas, too. So, I mean, it's probably, like, $400 a month in gas, plus, like, an $800 payment.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I tried that, and then they denied me. And then I had some equity in the house. I didn't know. Do not do a HELOC. I was like, you know, I don't think I should do that.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I mean, if we got after it three months... What's your household income? We make about $130,000 a year combined, like me and my wife.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Oh, yeah, sir. I mean, I've been wanting to get rid of it. I've just felt stuck in it, though, because of all the negatives, you know?
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I mean... Six months? I was trying to think. Yeah, I mean, possibly. I mean, like, well, we're in... we're in the second month of our budget. So I'm like, we're still trying to get the kinks worked out. But I mean, we typically only have like 900 a month left over, but that's, you know, like that's without me counting, you know, like, um, delivering groceries on the side.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
And then my wife hadn't worked much overtime lately.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
It's, It was a lot, like 1,000 or maybe a little more, maybe like 1,200. What do you do for a living? So I do... So I work out at Navy Federal on the grounds facility, like doing all the landscaping and stuff, and then my wife's a nurse.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Well, they'd have to do the eminent domain part, but, like, the rest of it, they own the land. They're just going through the motions of getting it rezoned right now, which they've gotten, like... 80% of it rezoned and they're just waiting for this last little bit.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I used to kind of grass on the side and all that stuff, but then I ended up getting rid of my equipment, so I kind of took that out.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I work. Let's go. Yeah, I mean... I could probably do flower beds and stuff like that.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
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The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
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The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
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Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
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The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Should I get a credit card? I've never had one.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I don't know because, I mean, we just bought it six months ago. They did not disclose it to us. I would be hard-pressed that the people that sold it to us didn't know because they've been working on getting it going for six years. And, like, we got a notice in the mail a week after we bought it, like, oh, by the way, there's a rezoning meeting happening.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Oh, that's very funny. I did know you were going to say that, but I was hoping to provide context to get some insight. Give me some context. Okay, I'm 29.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
So I moved out into some friend's house after I came to Christ, and that was it. They just took my money, and that was it, and then moved on to the next apartment with roommates, same thing.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
So I lost my job September 11th last year. I then started a business, and between January, February to now, I've raised about $20,000, and it's going further. What do you mean raised? So I sell services. I'm a mechanic for specialty coffee equipment, so I've accrued that much in my business. That's what I mean by raised.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Oh, right, right, right. I'm sorry. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Um, so I want to get a car and I'm also alone. Like I, I don't have any family to rely on for anything. Um, and friends who own businesses and what have you are telling me to get a credit card. Should I want an apartment, a house, a car?
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Um, just like support in, in some sense, like there's no reference. There is no like community or, or money.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Right. That's what I don't have. Like, there's no one coming to help me.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Yeah. And people have also just been telling me to, you know, do the debt system to build credit and I won't get far in life without it. Have you met people?
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Sure, yeah. I owe no debt. In the most technical form, I owe a college, not a loan, but a semester when I dropped out. Other than that, I have no debt. I've never had a credit card.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Savings, personally, is laughable, but my company has all my liquidity, which is about $20,000.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Yeah, but I'm not a sole proprietor. I separated it. I'm an escort.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I pay myself a salary. I tie a certain percentage. I save a certain percentage. I open the Vanguard IRA and then the rent and stuff like that.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Every month I make, so every four weeks, if that would be $750 a week times four weeks, about $3,000.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I mean, like 10 other houses are in the exact same predicament as me and that we share a property line.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I've only been doing it a few months, so I guess I would have to make more. As the business grows and I get more services, I can then, I guess, give myself a raise.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Yes and no. Living in the city, you can get by without it, but sometimes it does help to have.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
If you're living in the city, one thousand five zero thousand.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Um, between admin and I don't really count up the hours because I'm a, I'm a solo operation. I just, I generally just work every day except for like Sunday.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
They hate it. They said they have hired attorneys. And there's two major subdivisions that are going to be impacted quite a bit. So there's probably 50 to 100 houses in those subdivisions. But everybody is opposed to it. I've gone to our county meetings to help for the rezoning stuff, and there's always a line of people to say against it. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Well, yeah, I'm doing the treadmill thing, right? So it's not exactly, you know.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Yes, I have got a nephew that had agreed to take care of his parents when they retired. and he's not honoring that obligation, and he's asking other family members to chip in, and of course, we're all older and retired and on fixed incomes, and it's just becoming difficult for us to help. How do we get him to honor his obligation?
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
That means he obligated himself to help them financially with expenses over their current income. And he was honoring that for a while, but now he's got himself in so much debt that he cannot honor that.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
They were in a situation where they had a daughter who suffered from a mental illness. And through her mental illness... she ended up passing away. And when she was alive, she had an income, which was Social Security disability, that covered most of their other expenses. But now that she's passed, that amount of money has fallen to my nephew who agreed to cover that.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
He covered it for about a year and a half.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Correct. Well, he's not even calling us. We're kind of pointing out to him that because other family members are chipping in to pay for property taxes or HOH fees and that sort of thing.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
The parents are in their mid-70s. Okay, and how old is nephew? Nephew's in his early 40s, and he's got a job in healthcare that he's been doing for 15 years. He makes a good income. I don't know exactly what he makes, but I Googled what his position is, and Google told me what the average person in his position should make, and he should have plenty of money if he was managing it properly.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
No, they're not invalids. Okay, here's my point.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Yeah. Are they healthy? They are. And the father does have a part-time job. So... What's he do? He's a tutor.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Well, actually, the mortgage was given to them through another family member.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Yeah, but they're paying the other family member back the mortgage. It's a small amount.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Aha. It's my wife's brother and his wife are the parents that we're talking about that are in financial straits that their son is trying to help them.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Both, because I do think like I think we paid more than we should have because we didn't know a lot of the stuff that was wrong that needed to be addressed. So we spent more money on the house than we had originally anticipated, which is normal. But then we're thinking like if we do decide to go to sell it in five years.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
we're going to maybe be able to sell what we paid for, which isn't what you buy property for.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
A little nervous. Of course. She's not nervous.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Whoa, and how long? 72 months. Whoa, this is a journey.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
So we started out at 110 and then we bumped it to a little over 200.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Well, we're grocery department leaders. So during COVID, we just worked a ton of overtime. And then I also had a side hustle with boarding dogs.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Well, in 2019, we actually separated. We were going through a really rough patch in our life and our marriage, so we separated. And through all that, we came back together and we realized just how much we love each other.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
We were able to go through a lot of counseling and work on a lot of things, and we decided that we're going to go through this life together, and we're going to work really, really hard together and build a good marriage and build a good life. And one of the ways we decided to do that was we wanted to not owe anybody any money. Whoa.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Oh, yes. This was a symbol of a new chapter of unity. How long were you guys separated for? Probably six months or so. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I think just realizing like what life truly is. If you're, I mean, I was not financially secure on my own. And then you have these kids. It's just, it's, it's terrifying. And then you left your person that you truly love. It's just all weighed in on my part. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
And so that's the part... But I also don't want, like, I don't want riffraff going in and out of my yard because right now the biggest thing I've got to deal with is raccoons, not... Sure.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
No, absolutely. And just thinking about the life that we could have together if we actually got on board with the same thing. We got married really, really young. We were both high school sweethearts. So we had kids really young. We thought we knew what we were doing. We had no idea.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
So we decided to have kids really young and then just being able to look back at our life and be able to make the decisions that, I mean, we both loved each other very, very much. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Not really. It was just a byproduct of it. We got on board with so many other things, and then we decided we wanted to lay a foundation for how our life was going to be going.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
When you have three kids, it's like, you've got to figure this out and give them a straight path.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
No, we just, like Dave says, we just try to live intentionally. And being able to live intentionally, we've been able to do just amazing things with our kids. We've been able to travel everywhere and make a bunch of good memories. And we just decided, like, when we reset our marriage, we decided we were going to decide what was important for us and the life that we wanted to live.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
And we both decided to focus more on, like, experiences. And the best way to do that was to be able to not owe anybody any money. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
No, it wasn't that extreme. It was honestly just living intentionally. Consistent.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
We've been able to do amazing things with our kids and build memories that they'll be able to tell their kids about. We're truly trying to change our family tree.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Yeah, I remember I was sitting there just at the gym or something. I remember looking around. I was like, wait, I don't owe anybody any money. I was like, this is a completely surreal feeling. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
And that's an unreal feeling for me. When I lost my childhood home when I was younger, we were never financially secure. So knowing that and like, wow, this is my house and this is for my kids, it's breathtaking.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
We have an 11-year-old, a 10-year-old, and then a 3-year-old.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
We have a lot of travel planned, and we're going to keep building on making a bunch of good memories with our kids. It's just very important for us to change our family trees, set them up for their kids and so forth.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I mean, yeah, a little bit. We, I mean, we've talked about the problems that we've had in the past. We try to be open about it so they can learn from it. And yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Yep. We let them know like our journey and we're trying to set the whole budget with the kids because they're kind of learning. So they make their own money. They have allowances every week. They actually help with the dog business. So they buy their own things and.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I'd say just building a future that motivates you. And you want to like, once you start building momentum and you start seeing a future that, and you make progress towards it, it's, it keeps you working hard. That's for sure.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
You guys are like a homeowner. Honestly, we didn't tell too many people about it. We just relied on each other. And then, like I said, we had a future that we were both working towards. Just low-key. What's the house worth? A little over $700,000. Wow.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
We're looking at baby steps millionaires.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
And how old are you, if you don't mind me asking? I'm 32. I'm 34.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Don't be watching. They told me I have to be cool. Yeah, we have to be cool on the YouTube.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Yes, we do have a mortgage on the house, but, uh, everything else is we're paying cash for everything else.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
All right, this is getting weird over there, guys. What do we do?
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Hi, I just had a question about savings versus debt, I guess. My husband and I have a decent amount of debt between credit cards, car loans, and I have some student loans. And we also have almost... close to $10,000 in our savings. We've actually paid off about $50,000 in debt in the last three years. And this is the first time in our married lives we have savings this big.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
And my husband is reluctant to put a good chunk of that towards debt, even though we've been following the Ramsey plan as much as we can with the snowball method. He is nervous to go down to $1,000 in our savings account.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
When we got married, we both didn't really have any savings and brought an okay amount of debt to the table. So our savings really started at zero. And we've worked our butts off the last three years to pay down credit cards, personal loans. We went for a year just down to one vehicle.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
We were. We were following the Ramsey plan the last about three years. We've been working it. We paid off three personal loans, and I think we've paid off about two to three credit cards each, which had higher balances. And my husband switched jobs, got a nice bonus, was able to have some increased income for a few months. And it was the first time that we had...
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
In addition to paying our debt some extra money to spare, so we just kind of started stocking it away.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
No, we didn't pay off higher balances. They all had high balances, but we did start with the lowest one.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Yeah, I definitely think that's what happened. We kind of started with our $2,000 and $3,000 credit card balances and worked our way up. We do each still have two credit cards to pay off, And when my husband switched his jobs and we kind of had a little bit of extra income, it was the first time since we started working the Ramsey plan that we had.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I guess I guess we made the choice to save that money versus put more of it towards the debt. But it was the first time that we could pay.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I do. I absolutely do. We actually we were at the money and relationships tour on Tuesday night or Monday night in Phoenix.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I'm very two days ago. Yeah. So and I have always very much been the free spirit. My husband is the nerd. When we started this about three years ago, he would email me a calendar invite for a budget meeting and I would totally blow them off. And so he changed his mind on board.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
He has not, not at all. I think we just both kind of got excited by savings.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I am looking to get your guys' opinion on some real estate my husband and I purchased last fall. It's our home. We purchased a home. It's on like three quarters of an acre. It meets a lot of our boxes and stuff like that. But our inspector missed a lot of major electrical stuff. I missed a lot of major cosmetic things that needed to be fixed.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
We have roughly about 25 on credit cards in total, and then same with that in car loans.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
My husband, his next credit card we'll be paying off is about $800, and I have one that's about $2,000 we'll be paying off.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
We each have one that are sitting between $4,000 and $5,000. They're very close balance-wise.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
I want to say the minimum payment is like something crazy low, like maybe $50.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
The minimum on that is $85, and we pay about $150 towards that one.
The Ramsey Show
Your Financial Mistakes Shouldn’t Define You
Those ones we pay between $150 and $175 on each month.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
So I still don't get a new car. Don't try to have it roll over.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
He makes like two fifty and up.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
I mean, if he owns his own practice, then yeah, it would go up significantly. But then we're taking on more debt. Right.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Yeah. So it just depends, I guess.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
So I'm still working, actually.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
I just... i would like to stay home but i am still working um i make around 115 115 okay um is there any other debt besides the 350 in school debt to talk about no really that's it any other no cars like um no i mean we have like a little bit left on the car but like i mean we could really pay it down like today i guess how much is a little bit Like less than $10,000.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Hi, guys. Can you hear me okay?
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Awesome. It's such an honor to get to speak with you guys. I'm kind of new to the Baby Steps. I became debt-free about two years ago. Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah, my network is currently at... But my problem is I really want to go back to school to get my master's.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
And I'm not sure if I should continue maxing out my retirement accounts each year or if I should just start saving now and not max out my retirement accounts but use all of my savings as much as I can to front as much of my school costs as possible.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Yeah, so my prerequisites are going to be around $13,000, and then the program will be around $29,000, and then plus living costs.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
I want to get it in nutrition.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Um, I want to work as a registered dietitian. Um, I'm not sure like the specific job that I want. I know what the entry level costs or the entry level pay is for these jobs. Um, but I am interested in like any aspect of the field, whether it's like consultation, research, private practice or anything like that. Um, the range is around like starting out 80 to 90,000. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
It is a requirement in order to hold the dietitian license.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Currently in my high yield savings, I have $17,000. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Like, do you mean, can I do it while still maxing out my retirement accounts?
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
If I wanted to not take out any student loans whatsoever, I wouldn't be able to invest an account.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
um we have like 50 000 in an emergency fund okay um and then we're also we're renting right now so we're trying to save up for a house i just feel like we're doing like maybe too much at once but we're like yeah is the 50 000 with is the 50 000 saving for the house too or is that quote unquote just the emergency fund yeah that's just the emergency fund how much is how much is for the house
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Hello, thanks for having me. I'm calling to get your advice on whether or not I should cancel an upcoming family vacation based on some issues that I've been having. I was laid off right before Thanksgiving and just trying to figure out what the right responsible thing to do.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
We have maybe like between 15 and 20 towards the house. Towards the house, okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Sure. So I was calling to see and get your advice on whether I should cancel an upcoming vacation or if I should keep it based on my circumstances.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Yeah. So I have to cancel the next couple of weeks or we don't get our money back. But I was laid off right before Thanksgiving and I'm still trying to find a job. We're just trying to figure out what the responsible thing to do is.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
So the trip is about $3,500 and we'd probably lose about $2,500.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
We are net worth millionaires. We have cash. It's just... Tell us your cash situation. We've got close to $200,000 in cash. Like in a high-yield savings? Yes.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
So I was doing marketing for a tech company and I have been interviewing. I was actually offered a role a couple of weeks ago, thrilled about it. And then I got found out last week that they eliminated the role. Oh, shoot. So I'm back to square one. Oh, man.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Sorry, I have the number right here. I mean, with everything? Mm-hmm. I feel like we're, like, with savings and everything, we're, like, right on what we bring in a month because we do try to put, like, money towards savings.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
I'm networking. I'm doing all the things, but it's just taking it taking a while. Crazy out there.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
So far, we've been able to. We have two little kids in daycare. We're cutting out everything we can. We'll start eating into it, I'd say, in the next couple of months. OK, but so far we've been able to.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
I guess, yeah, I guess between, like, $5,000 and $6,000. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
We both put 6% into our 401k. That's matched by our company.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Hi, how you doing? We're doing good. So I need help. I went from zero debt in January 23 to $54,000 in April 24. I was trapped in this abusive relationship that I was hospitalized and arrested for fighting back, but I'm out of that now. Oh my gosh, Patricia. Yeah. I'm so sorry. I was in survival... Thank you. I was in survival mode, so I signed up for a debt relief company and I trusted them.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
But now that I'm able to take a look at what's going on, I see that they're taking all their fees up front. They're barely paying my creditors and I have to respond to my second lawsuit by next week. Oh my gosh. I've also found expired docusigns that I never saw they would expire really quickly. And so I don't know what they've negotiated. I know they've negotiated about 36,000 of it.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
And there's still, um, The rest of it's outstanding. And I did pay off my first lawsuit privately.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Well, there were like 12 or 13 cards altogether. So they've settled with some of them, but the ones that they just wanted to accept waiting in line.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
they're the ones suing me. Yeah. So I, like I said, I paid off one and yeah.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
I have given them $7,000 over $7,000 and 4,000 of that has gone to their fees. Only 3,000 has gone to my creditors. And I did find that when they settle, what's considered settling is when they negotiate a settlement and make the first payment, then they're eligible to take all their fees, which is, Twenty five percent of my enrolled debt.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Well, the contract, they say I can end any time, so that's why I figure they're padding their fees up front in case I do decide to end.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
But the one that I want to settle right now, because I do have some money to settle the second lawsuit, but I tried to call them directly and they won't talk to me because of the power of attorney. So the company won't call me back either. And so when I called them this morning, they said, there's no update except we got the power of attorney. And I'm like, no, stop.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
I don't want them to settle with them.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
OK. But yeah, they said they want to talk to me. And so do you think I have time before? Because I have to respond to the summons by next Tuesday. Do you think I would have much?
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
So the ones that suing me, they want like forty five hundred. But I enrolled thirty eight hundred with the with them in April. Well, I did just pay off one lawsuit, and they were wanting $3,800, and I settled that.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Well, I have to reply to the summons by next week because if I don't reply to the summons, then they'll make a judgment against me.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
I have to go to the courthouse and file a response. It costs $250. That's what I did the first time.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Right. Um, So how would I go about revoking the power of attorney? Do I need to get a lawyer to do that or can I do it myself?
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Hi, I am going to college next year, and I just had a question about which college I should go to. My state school I would have to pay for, and it would be about two years to go. But I got an opportunity to go to a very prestigious school that would be a full ride, but it would be four years. And I was just wondering, is time more valuable than money?
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
My first option, which is like my state school, I would have to pay out of pocket. You would pay out of pocket. Yeah. And right now I just don't have stuff in savings, but it would be, I'd have to work very hard and it would drain my savings account pretty much. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
The four-year school is Notre Dame. Wow.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
My degree, that's another thing is my degree is going to be in educational administration. So I would like to teach in foreign countries is like the entire idea.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
And Notre Dame has a program for that.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
it's two extra years and from my house it is almost 14 hours away and i would be paying in travel expenses as well because my parents will not pay for that and they don't really want me to go to notre dame so i'm kind of where where is notre dame i should know this but i don't where is it um it's do you know where chicago is it's about two hours from chicago okay okay area so it's quite a drive and i'd have to fly there because they do not allow cars for freshmen
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
They would help pay for the state school. They do not want me to go into the degree that I'm going in. So it's not so much, I'm afraid it's not so much a gift as it is a loan. And so I really want to pay it by myself.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Which is why I'm very hesitant.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
It doesn't make sense. they say it's teaching and it doesn't make any money. So they're a little hesitant.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
The scholarship that I'm getting for the region that I'm in, I have a benefactory that reached out to me and my school and wanted to pay for it because Notre Dame is Catholic and then I came from a private Catholic school.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
But yeah, it's around academics as well.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
For my state school as well, I have $10,000 in scholarships for that to help me with it. And then they did give me a $20,000 scholarship as well for my state school. But it will still come out of my pocket.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Yeah, so the $20,000 would be if I went through their four-year program. So I'm trying to get them to give me the full $20,000, but they don't want to do that. But I'm still looking at $23,000 that I'd have to pay.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
What's going on in your world? Not much. I was just curious to see, I have, um, and probably like five years or so I'm thinking about buying a house. I'm just kind of just curious to see about manual underwriting. I know, I think I know mostly about what I know about it. And, um, I just curious to see what companies you'd suggest to go through to do that.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
And I know it's kind of rare to find, I guess is what I've heard anyways, but just to kind of see what you guys think. How old are you?
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Yeah, absolutely.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Okay, perfect. Thank you. So would it be smart to make an account with that said bank or mortgage company so that I can, like, whatever, if I'm able to throw money into that account, I can start a relationship with them? Is that kind of a smart way to do it, or do you guys suggest anything other than that? I just want to be set up for when the time comes to be ready to do it.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
I feel like I can't not work until... Like we're in a home, like our own home and not renting.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Yeah, my question today is about my husband and I's situation if we're ready to buy the house that we're currently living in. And we have the opportunity to do that on a contract for deed, actually.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Where are they going to go? It's not my parents' home. My parents own the home.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
It was actually my grandmother's home.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
So we've actually been living in the home since she passed away for the past six years. Um, we, my husband and I wanted to get married before we would move in together and then also consider purchasing the home. Um, So now we're kind of in this spot where we've been here a long time and we've been paying rent and we just want to know in our financial situation, is this a good time?
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
And maybe part of it is we're just a little scared to make the jump.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Around $400,000, which is the other scary part. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Well, there may be a little bit of a deal in there, but I would say probably maybe no lower than like $380,000. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
So the, we've been working really hard on getting everything paid off. We actually just paid off one of our vehicles for a while. Thank you. Which was really motivating. Um, so we do have one other vehicle to pay off that we still have $20,000 on. Okay. How much do you guys make a year?
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Any savings? Well, we have money saved about $15,000 in a CD. Okay. And then we've been keeping like a little bit of an extra savings for us with the kids. But the rest we've really tried to put towards our debt.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
So... We could put a down payment of $20,000. How? Where is that coming from? That we had set aside to put that from. So you have an extra $20,000? Yes.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Hi, I just had a question. I am 47 and I was wondering how to get caught up on retirement with $47,000 worth of debt.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
I own a cleaning business. It's just my husband and myself that do the cleaning. And we make about $6,685 a month as after tax. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Um, I was looking at it. It's mostly like back taxes and we have three credit cards.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
I owe, let's see, about $25,000, one to our local DOR, Department of Revenue, and then $15,000 on IRS. Okay. And then we have two SBA loans that adds up to about $13,000. Okay. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Well, we do mostly commercial jobs, and that's the majority of our income is what we make. We have a few residentials. We could probably add on, but residentials, probably a week, we probably make about $600 a week. Okay. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
I think I've got about $2,000. Okay. Do you have any cash available? Just $1,000 that we save for emergency fund. Yeah. Okay. That's great. But we do have a big job coming up that's going to give us about $30,000 from the job. Good. Do you think I should just use all that towards the debt or should I put some of that in retirement?
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Yeah, the whole tax thing was like a big not have knowledge in when we first started.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Well, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Hi, thanks for taking my call. I'm mainly calling because my husband and I feel like we make pretty good money, especially for where we live. And we're in a lot of debt, mostly from him going to dental school. And I would love to be a stay-at-home mom. We had to be over the summer. I would just love to not have to work and just be home with her all day.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
So I'm in a bit of a pickle. I'm having trouble trying to find out what's the best financial decision. I made the mistake of putting my sister's car in my name. She needed help. I tried to co-sign for her. The dealership denied her and they only approved me. She promised me if I put the car in my name that she would make all future payments. Long story short, we got into a dispute.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
She refused to refinance. She went and bought herself a new car and left me with a $22,000 loan debt. Oh, no, Jasmine.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
oh my gosh okay man she thinks it's very funny um i i already have a debt on my car which i owe six thousand dollars on i'm currently pregnant with my third child oh my question is is should i sell both cars and just finance a new car or should i just sell her car and just pay the difference which would be eight thousand dollars it's upside down eight thousand
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
So the market price for her car, she has a 2020 Toyota Corolla. The market price for her car is $14,000. And because I owe $22,000, once I sell it, I would have to pay $8,000.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
I started with this car at 15. I took out a six-year loan. So I owe $6,000 on this car. Teddy Blue Book put it for $7,000. I had a dealer call me and say, hey, give me $8,000 for it. So that's a plus. But I would still have to pay rollover, you know, her car if I get a new car. So either way, I wouldn't be before both situations.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
But I just don't feel like that's the right decision financially until we get out of debt. So I guess I'm just calling to see If that's even feasible for me to do or kind of your thoughts on that.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
So I make $47,000 a year. Um, very little money. It's not that much. I am currently renting. So my rent is only 15. Um, I have $10,000 in credit card debt already. And, uh, she put $418 of easy pass tickets in my name that I also have to pay for.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
No, I can't dispute it because she was driving the car and the police is in my name.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
I'm just learning this about her. Nobody in my family would help her. And I felt really bad for her because she's in a bad situation. And financially, during that time, I didn't have any debt. And all I had was my car. So I said, hey, I don't mind helping you as long as you pay. But now I'm stuck with this debt.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
My car payment is $336 a month and hers was $500 a month.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
In her text message, it's not her problem. It's my problem.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
Like around three hundred and fifty thousand.
The Ramsey Show
You Have To Mentally Take Debt Off The Table If You Want Financial Peace
So I would end up being paying $500 a month on top of my car note.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
We're headed to New York in a week. Never done that before.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Hey, uh, George and Dr. John, how are y'all doing? Well, how are you? I'm, I'm pretty good. I'd say. Um, so my question is, um, I have a sister and a cousin that are in a position in life where they're getting ready to start getting their first cars and jobs and things like that. And I've recently, the last couple of months started listening to the show and got really into it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
My worst month, probably $5,000 gross.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
And I haven't fully started the baby steps yet. Um, I've wanted to, I just haven't made that leave yet, and I'm just wondering how do I convince them, because I can't deal with my life right now necessarily, but how would I convince them that doing things with cash and not worrying about credit scores and things like that are the way to go?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Well, I mean, I don't know. I just haven't. I mean, I guess technically I'd be in baby step one. I just haven't. I've got every dollar. I've started the budget, and I'm getting stuff lined out. I just need to start putting that first $1,000 together, and then I'll be going on it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
No, I don't know. I don't think hesitation would be it. I think it's just... I don't know.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Um... Net, maybe around $40,000.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
So I have a truck. I have about $9,400 on. And then we were pretty close to paying off my wife's car. And then before we really got into all this, we got another car.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
No, just two. The other one we got rid of now, but my truck and her car together is about $95,000 and $16,500.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Not as of yet. We got a nine-month-old little girl, and she's in her EMT school. So once she gets out of that, we're going to be looking into... Okay. How much debt does she have?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Um, technically, we're married, but technically... I guess it would all be mine or ours, but she's got a couple collections from before we were married that are like $1,000 or something.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Right. I got my every dollar budget set up as far as our monthly payments, and I just last night actually wrote everything down on paper to look at. And when you see between the small things and the vehicles, it adds up to $38,000. It takes your breath away a little bit, I think.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
You got some toys laying around?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
I mean, honestly, we don't keep a whole lot of just things around.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
She definitely likes the idea of it, and we've talked about it. She makes fun of me a little bit because I talk about it so much because my head spins whenever I get involved in things like this, and I'm excited about something. My head spins, and it's like a burnout, essentially. It's all throttle, no actual forward movement yet.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
She was telling me last night as well when we were talking about the debts that she wanted to start listening to the podcast and get into it and see what it's all about and so we can really kind of lock hands and go forward with it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
We're working to pay off some debt. We don't have a bunch. The only thing we have left is like two small personal loans and a vehicle loan and a house.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Well, I just had a quick question regarding transferring balances to a HELOC loan. And I'm not sure if that's a good idea because the interest rate on the HELOC is lower than the credit card. So I wanted to get some input.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Well, the HELOC two years ago, I had to replace my roof, and I didn't want to refinance at a higher rate. So I got the HELOC to replace my roof on my house. And then the credit card, the water pump in my car cost a little bit more than I anticipated, and I had to repair that about six months ago.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Probably for a pretty long time. I mean, I have $1,500 in my savings, but I didn't want to use it for the car. I didn't want to drain it to zero.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Well, no, actually my HELOC is at 4.5 and my credit card is at 13%.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Right now we're slim. We just got through a remodel, so we're less than $1,000 in savings right now.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Oh, absolutely. I spent all last year paying off four other credit cards. So, I mean, I was doing the baby steps before I knew about the baby steps.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Single? No, I am divorced. I am doing this alone. How old are you? I'm 60.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Well, 65 Sharon wants to hopefully retire and build a long-arm quilting business.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Yeah, I'm planning to retire and use the long-arm business to supplement my income because I know I won't have enough for 401k and retirement, yada, yada.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Okay, well, my longarm machine, I still have 13 on it, and I have 13 on the HELOC, and 23 on the credit card.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
So the longarm machine puts the pretty pattern on the quilt to sandwich it together. Mm-hmm.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
At the moment, nothing. Only because the timing on my machine isn't working correctly, so I can't quilt other people's quilts, and I don't want to ruin their quilts.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Yes. And how much is left? Not much.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
You with us? Hello. Yes, sorry. My question was, I was wondering, I've got to, here in about a year, I'm going to be coming into about $37,000 personal injury settlement. And I'm a new father, and I just kind of want to make sure that I set up my family and make sure that, you know, I just...
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
I do the right things with it instead of looking back on it a year, five years, and being like, damn, I really wasted an opportunity. Or darn, sorry. I apologize.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
I'm all right. Just a little shaky. I apologize.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
No, sir. I'm debt-free. I'm not at all into your guys' baby steps. It's something I need to definitely look into. I know my grandma is a big fan of your guys' show. Grandmas love us. What can we say? Yes, sir.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Uh, roughly it'll be February of 26.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Um, I make roughly, I think 40 K a year. I honestly don't know. I, I was trying to figure that out because they asked me. I answered $19 an hour, so I'm not very well-versed.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Um, well, this is something that happened when I was in middle school and that was always my thought was to buy a house, to not squander it. Um, but I, I'm not the financial gurus. That's kind of why I called you guys.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Well, that's been the last 24 years, and I've got the next set of years to not be selfish and take care of the kids.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Yes. There's people who have horses who shouldn't. There's a lot of people who don't deserve horses and don't need them. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
In a way, they are. There's a connection that you get between a person and a horse that actually does have that connection. their personal animal are kind of like a dog. They get to know their person and you have a connection with that horse and there's a lot to them. They're a very sensitive animal. They can feel every emotion that you're feeling and it adds to the experience around them.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Good. I'm trying to sit down and go through a budget and start making a monthly plan. My wife and I have both gone through Financial Peace University together. My income has changed since we've done that. I get paid basically daily. So how do I kind of set up my monthly budget for something like that? Because my budget or my income is very limited.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Hey, thank you guys so much. I appreciate your time. What's going on? So in 2018, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And... was out of work, and unfortunately, over the time period that the company I work for allowed. So after 20 years of service, they called and told me they no longer needed me. So I have 401K with that company. I know I should have done something with it, and I did not.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
So it is sitting in an account now. And I was just diagnosed in the past year with stage four cancer. So now instead of preparing for my retirement, I am looking to see the best way possible to leave this money for my family. I want to make sure that tax-wise or whatever penalty that's going to be made, it gets the less hit. I would like them to have the most of it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
I believe in a big God and I know that he can do big miracles and
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
um so no i don't believe that however i am doing everything possible to make sure if anything does happen um that i leave my family um you know having having the most that they can yeah you're a pretty amazing woman christina yeah to be thinking about your 401k beneficiaries when you're going through something like this speaks volumes to the kind of person you are um i want you to
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
It fluctuates a lot from summertime to wintertime.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
It would be my husband and my daughter.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Okay. So I should... Probably my husband if I want him to have access to the money within 10 years.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Do you have a will in place? I'm working on it.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Through my husband's job, I do.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Overcomplicate Building Wealth, Keep It Simple
Okay. One more question is, is there a penalty? Someone told me that there's a law that passed that if something like this happens to you, that you can withdraw your money early with no penalty. Okay.
The Russell Brunson Show
The Silent Funnel Killer That Nobody Warned You About | #Sales - Ep. 30
Alright, thank you, Russell, for sharing all of that. And also giving confidence, this is not a high ticket, this is a mid ticket. I was thinking, this is something people will not pay for. So my first webinar, I actually did after doing the training, looking at the videos inside the community, and I tried to craft the webinar based on that.
The Russell Brunson Show
The Silent Funnel Killer That Nobody Warned You About | #Sales - Ep. 30
I think I did it fine, because when I did the first webinar, I had almost 18 people showing up. Das Webinar dauerte fast eine Stunde und eine halbe Stunde und ich hatte fast alle bis zum Ende. Niemand hat gekauft. Ich dachte, okay, was passiert? Ich weiß nicht, was los ist. Deshalb habe ich diese Frage gefragt.
The Russell Brunson Show
The Silent Funnel Killer That Nobody Warned You About | #Sales - Ep. 30
Ich glaube, ich mag die Art, wie du es erwähnt hast, vielleicht einen kleinen Deposit und vielleicht den Rest später. Ich werde das probieren und sehen. Du hattest 18 Leute, wie du gesagt hast? Ja.
The Russell Brunson Show
The Silent Funnel Killer That Nobody Warned You About | #Sales - Ep. 30
And this is basically from whatever they are doing to a six-figure job. This is a six-figure job, yeah.
The Russell Brunson Show
The Silent Funnel Killer That Nobody Warned You About | #Sales - Ep. 30
You know what I mean? Sure, thank you. And one last question. When you say 18 is a lower number, what kind of numbers do you see, like people joining webinars? How much conversion do we see usually in webinars? Because this is all organic. I did not run ads to bring these people into my webinar. I created a Facebook group, which is like 4,500 people so far.
The Russell Brunson Show
The Silent Funnel Killer That Nobody Warned You About | #Sales - Ep. 30
Und ich habe eine E-Mail-Liste von ungefähr 2.000. Und diese Leute kommen von dort. Sie kennen mich. Sie kamen durch das. Ich möchte nur verstehen, wenn ich das nächste Mal ein Webinar targetiere, was ist das Anzahl an Leuten, die ich targetieren sollte? Und was ist die Konvergenz, die Sie in Webinaren gesehen haben? Cool. Es gibt ein paar verschiedene Anzahl.
The Russell Brunson Show
The Silent Funnel Killer That Nobody Warned You About | #Sales - Ep. 30
Vielen Dank, Russell. Und vor allem danke, dass du mich angerufen hast. Ich habe nie gedacht, dass ich mit dir sprechen kann. Ich war in einer anderen Plattform. Ich habe einige Kurse dort gemacht. Ich konnte nie mit jemandem sprechen. Ich dachte, das ist alles ein Vollscan. Und als ich diese VIP-Community gesehen habe, habe ich gedacht, basically joined right away when I saw that.
The Russell Brunson Show
The Silent Funnel Killer That Nobody Warned You About | #Sales - Ep. 30
I'm on vacation for two weeks. This is the best use of my time. I'll use this time. I'll talk to you guys. I was still not sure, will I speak to somebody, but I am speaking to you guys. I spoke to Dante. He gave me amazing advice. Thank you, Dante. I'm speaking to you today. This is an amazing community. Thank you. Thank you. We appreciate that. Where are you at?
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
Very good. I'm standing at the street, so if I see him coming down the street, I can direct him right in. So he won't respond to you at all? Not to me. Did you holler at him or anything? Yeah, he didn't respond, but his head's kind of moving around. Okay. I've walked away from the car right now. I'm standing at the street, so... And he's no. OK, inside the window shattered. The garage door was up.
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
OK, where is the vehicle dispatch from?
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
OK, let me take him a while to get here then. We're close to the hospital soon.
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
Yeah, it's been bloody. I mean, it's the window shattered. I don't know if he's tried to shoot himself. I don't know what the situation is. He's still moving around, so he's alive.
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
Okay, well, we need EMT.
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
Yeah, it looks like he could be the officer now. Is he there? Yeah, he's just coming up right now.
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
I'm calling from... Okay, and tell me exactly what happened. We heard and looked in. The garage door was up, and I thought the gentleman was backing out, and I went back to my house, but he never backed out, and I came back over, and his driver's side window is shattered, and he's battered and can't answer. He's inside. I don't know if somebody tried to shoot him or if he shot himself or what.
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
I don't know.
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
Getting sent an ambulance in a hurry. He's still alive. He's moving. OK, what's he? What's going on with him? I don't know that the driver side window is all bashed in and he's got blood all over his head. He's not responding to me. Make it need to hurry.
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
go ahead but send them as you're asking yes sir they're already on the way okay are you with him now i'm standing right outside the garage door can you tell me how old he is uh i don't know he looks like maybe 35 or 40. hang on one second for me okay okay
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
I can't tell. He looks maybe 35 or 40. I don't know.
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
And is he awake? He's moving his head around, but he's not responding. I've called his name, asked what's going on, and I called his name, asked him what's happening. He's not responding to that, but his head's kind of rolling around. Okay. Is he conscious? Well, I can't tell. Okay. Is he breathing? No. I can't tell that. I'm assuming he's breathing if he's moving his head around.
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
Did you ever hear him talk or anything? No. Okay.
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
It's not safe for me to do. I don't want to put my hand in here. Okay. Well, help's on the way. Okay. All right. I've heard about break-ins in the area, and so I decided to walk over and take a look, and the garage door was open. I asked him what was happening, and then I saw the window was shattered, and he's got blood. I'm going to be over here waiting for the EMT, honey. Oh.
True Crime with Rachel Shannon
TOXIC: Affluent Family Masterminds the Murder of a Respected Lawyer?! THE ADELSON FAM & DAN MARKEL
Okay, go ahead, but just tell the kids to hold on inside. They're okay. Tell them I'm out here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The Most Consistent Cool Guy w/ Jim Norton | Your Mom's House Ep. 795
Wow.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The Most Consistent Cool Guy w/ Jim Norton | Your Mom's House Ep. 795
Absolutely.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The Most Consistent Cool Guy w/ Jim Norton | Your Mom's House Ep. 795
Why did you laugh?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The Most Consistent Cool Guy w/ Jim Norton | Your Mom's House Ep. 795
Tommy. Yeah. Tommy. Tommy, would you marry your dad? Just like the gays.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The Most Consistent Cool Guy w/ Jim Norton | Your Mom's House Ep. 795
Just like the gays.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The Most Consistent Cool Guy w/ Jim Norton | Your Mom's House Ep. 795
Just like the gays. Tommy, would you marry your son? Yes, of course. My God, I wish I could. Tommy, would you marry your dad?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The Most Consistent Cool Guy w/ Jim Norton | Your Mom's House Ep. 795
I think I'd marry my dad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The Most Consistent Cool Guy w/ Jim Norton | Your Mom's House Ep. 795
For sure.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The Most Consistent Cool Guy w/ Jim Norton | Your Mom's House Ep. 795
I really would. Just like, just like the gays. Just like, just like the gays. Just like, just like the gays. Just like, just like the gays. Would you marry your dad?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Conspiracy Chaos w/ Sam Tripoli | Your Mom's House Ep. 792
You should start. Only fans. Pay $6.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Conspiracy Chaos w/ Sam Tripoli | Your Mom's House Ep. 792
No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Conspiracy Chaos w/ Sam Tripoli | Your Mom's House Ep. 792
Oh!
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Conspiracy Chaos w/ Sam Tripoli | Your Mom's House Ep. 792
He's just eating.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Conspiracy Chaos w/ Sam Tripoli | Your Mom's House Ep. 792
So dangerous, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Conspiracy Chaos w/ Sam Tripoli | Your Mom's House Ep. 792
Just money shots.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Conspiracy Chaos w/ Sam Tripoli | Your Mom's House Ep. 792
Did he come?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Conspiracy Chaos w/ Sam Tripoli | Your Mom's House Ep. 792
Yeah. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Conspiracy Chaos w/ Sam Tripoli | Your Mom's House Ep. 792
Yep.