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The Ramsey Show

Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead

Thu, 05 Dec 2024

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📈 Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a Free Personalized Plan 📱Watch the full episode for free in the Ramsey Network app. Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony answer your questions and discuss: "How do I handle a defaulted loan?" "Should I buy a house while my husband is in prison?" "I make $73k/year but still feel broke," "Should I buy a car to get better gas mileage?" "My step-sister wants me to share my inheritance" "Should I help my boyfriend pay off debt?" Support Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp ◎ Get 10% off Byrna product bundles and more! 🏥 Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries 🏡 Get started today with Churchill Mortgage 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe 🏦 Go to FAIRWINDS Credit Union for an exclusive account bundle! 🥗 Save 15% on your first Field of Greens order with code RAMSEY 💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! 🗂️ Use promo code RAMSEY for 18% off at The Nokbox 💵 Learn more about Timothy Plan 🏛 Get started with YRefy or call 844-2-RAMSEY 🔐 Visit Zander Insurance for your free instant quote today! Next Steps 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET or click here! 💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! 🎁 Cyber Monday Extended Deals as low as $8 🏠 Get organized and prepared to buy or sell a home.  🎄 Hurry—Your chance to win $5k is almost over! Enter the Ramsey Cash Giveaway today! Listen to more from Ramsey Network 🎙️ The Ramsey Show   🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 💰 George Kamel 💼 The Ken Coleman Show 📈 EntreLeadership Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Transcription

Chapter 1: How do I handle a defaulted loan?

86.46 - 101.074 Todd

So I just learned of you a few days ago. My sister listens to you religiously and told me I should call you regarding my situation. Okay. So earlier this year, I went with a debt settlement company to handle much of my debt, which is primarily student loans and credit cards.

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102.234 - 128.625 Todd

Um, unfortunately just recently I went into default with one of my student loans and that is through Naviant, which is now Mohella. And what they, uh, offered me was something that's outside of my budget. Um, and my father is a co-signer on the loan as well. And I'm just trying to find out of ways of how I can negotiate something with Naviant to help me make the payments that I can afford.

0

129.826 - 131.288 Todd

or what other avenues I can take.

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131.528 - 135.631 Dave Ramsey

Wow. So this is a federally insured student loan, right?

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137.458 - 139.999 Todd

This is a signature student loan.

141.159 - 144.461 Dave Ramsey

They all have signatures. They all have signatures. Is it private?

144.481 - 146.221 Todd

No. It is private.

146.421 - 165.869 Dave Ramsey

Oh, okay. All right. Good news. Okay. All right. Well, lucky for you, we have actually a sponsor that refinances defaulted privately held student loans. So they'll buy it from Navient and refinance it and set it up where you can make the payments. You got a pencil?

167.49 - 168.931 Todd

Yeah, one moment. Yeah, go ahead.

Chapter 2: Should I buy a house while my husband is in prison?

583.484 - 584.344 Dave Ramsey

Mm-hmm. Good.

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584.965 - 589.068 Lucy

I make like $50 plus an hour.

0

589.088 - 589.788 Caller

Mm-hmm.

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590.789 - 598.148 Lucy

But I'm working PRN now since I'm going through divorce. marital issues and so forth.

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598.508 - 599.569 Dave Ramsey

Yeah.

599.809 - 600.229 Lucy

Anyways.

600.649 - 603.551 Dave Ramsey

Um, so obviously you all are separated.

603.571 - 605.152 Lucy

Yeah.

605.272 - 606.813 Dave Ramsey

Has the divorce been filed?

Chapter 3: How can I manage my finances feeling broke on a $73k/year salary?

1323.342 - 1344.722 Dave Ramsey

Because, I mean, you're going through a heartbreak right now. This is a hard time emotionally. And that hard time will show up in the money if you don't get on the other side of it and crack the whip on it. So what you're facing is a very normal reaction in a situation like you're in, but that doesn't make it okay.

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1344.742 - 1348.006 Dave Ramsey

That doesn't make it like, because it doesn't feel right, and that's why you called. Yeah.

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1350.184 - 1370.486 Dr. John Deloney

David, I don't think you can overstate that. When your world blows up, it's easy to feel like the rules don't apply anymore, but they do. Math does. Math keeps going, and the kid still needs to eat. I remember a close friend of ours, her husband left her pregnant with number three, and I remember asking a couple years later, how'd you make it? And

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1371.207 - 1390.122 Dr. John Deloney

that her answer was so instructive, she just said, I had to, right? And that meant I have to get up and do the next thing, the next right thing every day. And so the next right thing for him is to begin to put some sort of structure to this chaos. His world blew up. His wife left him and this little one, and no one has that in their head even, right? If it happened, let's get a hold of our money.

0

1390.302 - 1404.089 Dr. John Deloney

Let's get a hold of our calendar, and let's start there. And if you can prove yourself over 30 days that I can stick to this thing and say no... Then you can do it again 60 days. You can do it again 90 days. And then you start asking yourself, is this the job? Is this the apartment? Is this the house? Is this the daycare center? And go from there.

1405.27 - 1427.984 Dave Ramsey

But I guess, I don't know, you know a lot more about this than I do, that it feels like grieving a broken heart or grieving a loss of some kind somehow gives us permission to let our body go, to let our mind get on junk food, binge watch stupid stuff on Netflix instead of actually feeding our mind something that tightens it up, and just let our money go.

1428.604 - 1446.606 Dr. John Deloney

Yeah, and I think the difference is I don't think grief is doing nothing. I think grief is active. And if you're actively grieving something, if you're writing letters, if you are choosing your thoughts, if you're doing the next right thing, then that's an action. I think what most people mistake grief for is I'm just going to draw the shades and do nothing.

1446.926 - 1461.458 Dave Ramsey

Yeah, what I'm saying is when something bad comes at me, it's like you said, gives you permission. So I don't need to exercise. That's right. I don't need to go to church. I don't need to watch my money because something bad happened to me, so now I have permission to sit on my butt.

1461.578 - 1478.175 Dr. John Deloney

One of my friends who works in the fitness industry said, we often treat diets like you blow your diet. And he goes, you get a flat tire. And then you're just like, whatever. And he said, it's like pulling out a knife and going and slashing the other three tires. He goes instead of just having one tire off, right? So your world blows up.

Chapter 4: Should I buy a car to save on gas?

2202.857 - 2223.074 Dave Ramsey

And so I think I am probably getting out of it, and I might get into a different kind of a property that doesn't require as much active management, something that's a little newer, that kind of a thing. Or like you said, just buy a REIT, drop that million dollars that you're talking about there into a REIT, and that's fine.

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2224.281 - 2225.001 Dr. John Deloney

What's a REIT, Dave?

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2225.402 - 2241.892 Dave Ramsey

A Real Estate Investment Trust. It's basically a mutual fund for real estate is how it functions. And so many, many, many Allens out there put money in and they buy a bunch of different properties. And the cash flow from those properties and the increase in value of those properties give you your rate of return.

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2243.553 - 2261.726 Dave Ramsey

And most of the REITs are paying about like a good growth stock mutual fund, about 10% or 12%. A good one is. In the old days when they first started, they were fee-heavy, and they didn't do well, net. Nowadays, they're valid. So you just own a whole bunch of pieces, small pieces of a whole bunch of houses? Just like you do when you buy a mutual fund.

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2261.746 - 2288.573 Dave Ramsey

You own a whole bunch of pieces of a little bunch of stocks. Small pieces of companies, yeah. Bunch of stocks, yeah. Same thing. That puts us out of the Ramsey Show in the books. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ph.D.

2288.614 - 2299.743 Dave Ramsey

in Counseling, Ramsey Personality, host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, and number one best-selling author. He's my co-host today. Jared is with us in Phoenix. Hi, Jared. How are you?

2301.175 - 2302.475 Caller

I'm doing better than I deserve.

2302.756 - 2303.556 Dave Ramsey

Good. What's up?

2305.016 - 2317.88 Caller

Well, my dad passed away a few years ago, and he left us a very sizable estate to my brother and I. What is a sizable estate?

Chapter 5: How to deal with sharing an inheritance?

2898.571 - 2903.313 Dave Ramsey

So if dad, who loved this girl's mom and was married to her for 16 years,

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2904.634 - 2923.917 Dave Ramsey

had sat down with this girl and the others and said, hey, I care deeply about you guys, but when we got married, we decided that my money was going to go to my kids, and so I want you to know ahead of time it has nothing to do with whether I like you or whether I care about you, but I'm leaving my money to my sons, and it's substantial, but that's none of your business.

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2924.818 - 2927.618 Dr. John Deloney

Would that be his conversation or would that be their mother's conversation?

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2927.638 - 2932.759 Dave Ramsey

I think it's his. Okay. I think it's his because right now who's she angry at? Him.

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2933.119 - 2933.239 Dr. John Deloney

Yeah.

2934.394 - 2938.755 Dave Ramsey

Because she felt connected to him, and this cut her. Yeah.

2939.416 - 2944.977 Dr. John Deloney

It makes me wonder if he gave her $50,000 and then $4 million, and that's the gap.

2944.997 - 2966.48 Dave Ramsey

She didn't say. She didn't say. He said he left everything to my brother and I. That's true. Which I don't even know what happened to the mom. Did the second wife not get taken care of? I don't know. We didn't get that in the story. But the bottom line is tell people. This is what's going on. And so I've got a friend whose kid is doing drugs. And he's in his 20s.

2967.1 - 2984.144 Dave Ramsey

And he sat down with everybody and he said, honey, I can't leave you money. Not because I'm punishing you, but because I'd be buying you drugs. I'll kill you. I'll kill you. You'll use that. Your addiction will be ramped up and you'll have an overdose and die. And I love you. And I'm not going to fund something that brings harm to you.

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