Dr. John Deloney
Appearances
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
What up, what up? It's Dr. John Deloney from the Dr. John Deloney Show with some amazing news. The latest episode of United States of Anxiety is available right now exclusively on the Ramsey Network app. This docuseries follows real people from my show as they embark on a 90-day journey to transform their lives, and I personally walk alongside them every step of the way.
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
Okay, now, here's a sneak peek of what the new episode is all about. And don't forget to click the link in the show notes to download the app. What's up, Kelsey?
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
What does crippling anxiety mean? Paint me a picture of that. All right, so you ready to jump in?
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
So we're going to check in with Kelsey 30 days, 60 days, 90 days.
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
She's experiencing things that really hurt a long time ago. Tell me about this boy.
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
It just feels like it would be exhausting to be Kelsey.
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
Whenever somebody's playing whack-a-mole with their anxiety, when it just keeps moving, that tells me the underlying system's not okay.
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
One of two people that's supposed to never leave took off.
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
Your burden, that's right. To the one person who should carry it, all of it. Did you ever tell that little girl that it wasn't her fault? I don't know what to do. You either have to choose to let this guy love you, or you gotta choose to let this guy go.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
scared of myself if i'm being honest yeah that's it right you're you're well number one can i just tell you i'm proud of you thank you that's gonna sound bananas but you you had you've had one blowout in five years yeah i mean i've dealt with manic and depressive episodes in that time but nothing to this to this degree but that tells me you've been working real hard
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
so george gave you the money part can i just give you my two cents what i would do in my house please um how long have you been married uh we've been married 13 years oh gross y'all still like each other oh we love each other that's so awesome no one's getting out of this alive good dude awesome awesome a little frightening but also awesome um what do y'all do for a living y'all make a great salary what do you do for a living
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
right now and yes and also um you know not guaranteed so i if i'm you i want you to imagine you and your husband just imagine this weekend what would our marriage be like what would our life be like if we had no house payment and if i'm you i've put a thousand dollars on the table and i got 380 i won the the i've won with a period at the end not i might keep winning more
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
I would pull my money off the table, go to the window, cash out, and say goodbye Vegas, and I'd pay my house off, and I'd have a different level of peace in my home. And I'd never look at the Tesla stock price again because it's only going to make you crazy, but I'd sell it and get out.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Today's question comes from Vince in Massachusetts. Vince writes, My son graduated from high school this year. He lives with his mother and doesn't have any ambition to go to college or to even get a job. He's blocked all contact with me. My current wife and I are preparing to create our wills. My question is, what would you do if you were in this situation?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
That means you've been taking your meds even when you don't want to. That means you've been going to counseling even when you don't want to. That means you've been putting the work in. I'm proud of you. That's hard.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Part of me doesn't want to leave him any assets because I'm afraid if he knows there's an inheritance, he'll never have any incentive to make something of himself." I love the question. I don't like so much this idea that inheritance is an ROI that your kid has Performed up to your standards. So I guess although there is some life and like behavior standards too, right so a
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
I guess if he's blocked all contact with you, that's one thing. So no, I would not leave somebody in the will who has cut me out of their life. The second thing, though, is he's 18. He's a teenager. And he's probably dealt with a lot of trauma in his life, probably dealt with a lot of chaos from y'all's divorce, you getting remarried and all that kind of stuff.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So I would have some compassion there, too. My hope would be at some point y'all could sit down and have a grownup conversation and let them know I've got inheritance. And I don't know with sometimes people are like, I got a ton of money. It's 25,000 bucks. And then sometimes it's like, Dave, like I got a ton of money. It's $700 million. And you're like, okay.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So I think it's, it depends on how much money we're talking here. But I think if he knows now I'm going to pay for him to go to college, I'm going to support him to go to med school to do whatever. I think it's worth having those conversations.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
At the end of the day, if you've got a son or daughter who's struggling with mental health challenges, if you've got a son or daughter that is struggling with some form of addiction, Just dumping a bunch of money into their checking account after you pass away is going to kill them. It's the worst thing you could do. And so I do think there is room for, hey, here's my expectations.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
My expectations are you are a good person, that you treat people with dignity and respect, that you work hard in your job. And here is how my will is set up right now. you don't have that luxury because he won't talk to you. Maybe you could set up in a trust so that with a custodian that based on certain metrics, once he graduates college, then this comes.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And I love your self-awareness is pretty amazing. Yeah, the person that you've lost trust in is not your boss, is not the government. It's you, right? And that's just a scary place to find yourself. when you're worried about what you're going to do next. So when you are you pretty leveled out right now? Or do you fall? Do you go down in the valley after a pretty, pretty hot episode?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So if he never goes to college, then this money never comes. And then eventually it rolls to a charity of your choice or something. But I'd sit down with a state attorney and work through the knickknacks of that stuff. But I think there's, George, I think it comes down to most kids think I just get, I have a right. To mom and dad's money, which isn't true.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And then I think the other side is mom and dad's often think, oh, I have to do this with my money. I have to give it to my kid or else. And they won't like me. It's like, man, he already doesn't like you. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And one last note, Vince, if your son's not talking to you because you were a jerk when he was a kid, let's say you treated his mom real poorly when y'all were married and you went and cleaned your life up and you've changed and you've got a new wife, a new life, and y'all are doing great, but son's still harboring some anger and some rage, don't give him a bunch of money as a way to buy back his goodwill.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
That's going to backfire on you. And that's just me throwing that out there. We often try to solve guilt through our wills, right? Like, I'm going to do this, and then when I'm dead, they're going to think good of me.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
But you'll be dead. You'll be dead, right? So maybe this is a conversation between you and your ex-wife, you and his mom, to talk through where he's at, what he wants to do. But there seems to be a lot more going on here. So there you go. Thanks for the question. Did you put your kid in your will?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Oh, you're one of those parents, huh?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
If you're 10, that's not that impressive. How old are you? I'm 25. George wasn't even born when you started watching this show. That's amazing. That's weird to think about.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Bold choice. Sounds very Oklahoman if you ask me.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So what type of account would you recommend?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
I'd be debt-free this evening. I would take my emergency fund and pay off all my debts. How much do you have in there?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
That's right. And yeah, lame. That's a good, I love that word. And that's the challenge, right? Is how do you, it's making, making peace with the ordinary, right? Making peace with day in and day out. That's hard. That's hard. Um, yeah, here is the best worst news I'm going to give you. Okay. You have one choice. Actually, that's not true. You have two choices.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
But David, I can tell you the conversation I had with my parents. I think people get, the retirement number is really important, but I also think the retirement risk profile is important. And the conversation I had with my parents who were in their 70s was, I want y'all to be in a position where nobody can come take your house. And thinking about how much do we have in the nest egg?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
What about our bills? I've got this one taken care of. Nobody can come take my bed from me. You get what I'm saying? Yeah. And so I think I really want you to have a nest egg in retirement. But man, I want you to have as little risk as possible. And if you don't have a house payment, they can't come take your house from you.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Man, that just thinking about my own parents entering into their 70s, that just gives me a lot of peace. I know it gives them a lot of peace.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Oh, boy, don't do that. Yeah, don't do that. No, I'm not going to do that. Don't do that. I would love you to land. Okay, cool. Now we have no bills. Not one person owns us, except we have to pay taxes, we have to pay our light bill and our water bill, and we'll have to put some gas in the car. Man, that just feels like a great place to start the fourth quarter of your life.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Why isn't, is your house a total loss?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Where did the insurance company get their numbers from?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
But it's not looking great. I think it's worth going to get an attorney to walk through it with you.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Choice number one is to say, see, I told you so. You blew it all. You screwed up everything. It's just going to keep happening forever. Whatever. Or you can look at the data you have in front of you. The data says for five years, you scratched, you clawed. And by the way, you got a diagnosis at 19. And that means that 18, 17, 16, 15 were really tough years for you, weren't they? Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Have you, you know, someone else that might get involved as your mortgage company? Yes. And let them know, hey, this is what they're coming in at. And because a cornerstone of a bank lending you money is that an insurance company has said, we'll take care of it if something happens to your investment bank. Right?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
If this guy keeps paying us for his insurance, we're going to take care of your investment, Mr. Banker. And they're saying, yeah, no, we're not. And that might be another call I would make.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Yeah, I mean, you live in Florida. I grew up in Houston. That's always a thing, right? We know that living on the coast. Yeah. You hope it doesn't happen. And if you're in a flood-prone area, you're going to pay more for insurance. Do you still have the insurance? Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Well, the insurance company should pay for you while you're displaced.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So you sound like an 18-year-old that suddenly started making six figures and bought every toy imaginable, just like I would have done.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So you don't owe any money to anybody? I don't owe any money, nothing. Okay, will you make me and George a promise? You'll never borrow money.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Listen, you just took one leap for mankind towards you having an astronomical amount of wealth. You're a hustler, aren't you?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Okay. When hustling is going well, hustlers get loaded. And when things get dicey, when the economy gets sideways or people don't need your gear or somebody's like, I thought you made a lot of money. Why are you driving that truck? And it hurts your precious old feelings. Hustlers get themselves in a mess.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
If you will stick to this principle and the principles George is going to walk you through, all of us will be working for you someday.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So you got it 19 and you've been wobbly and figuring it out and doing pretty dang well, making a whole bunch of money, which tells me you're really good at what you do. And you had one kind of off the rails manic episode. You quit your job and you managed to go dust yourself off and go get another six figure job. And now you're back at it. So option two is. You take your lumps. You'll learn.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
George and I have both bought houses with a credit score of zero.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Yeah. That's an old story our parents taught us, and it's a new story that floats around on the TikToks and the Instagrams. If you want to get stupid rich, just delete social media.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Think about a credit score like this. Imagine you're dating, okay? And since you're 18 years old and you make six figures, you're going to be a prized possession there in Anchorage. So all a credit score is, is somebody asking how you've treated your old girlfriends before they, they want to know everyone you've dated.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And if you ever go on a date and the first question somebody says, hey, hold on, before I go out, I want to know the names and numbers of everyone you've ever dated. I'm going to call them and check up on you. Just walk away. That's not going to be a good relationship for you. That's not going to be good.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Listen, I could give you $10 million in cash today and you could put it in your checking account and your credit score would not change. Credit score has nothing to do with how much wealth you have. It just has to do with how you've danced with debt in the past. It doesn't matter. It's a scam.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
You put one hurdle in front of yourself, which is you have one or two people that you know and you trust and love who have your ATM number and your Amazon login. And the next time they see you starting to spin up, they have permission from you in writing that they can go cut something off. And you're just going to need different hurdles than other people. But everybody's got their own hurdles.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
If you've got, for easy math, let's say you make $100,000 every year on the dot. 35,000 of that, you gotta pull out for taxes. 15,000 of that, you're gonna pull out to invest. Now you're down to 50,000. And then you're gonna have an emergency fund.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And you're gonna see why your dad's grumpy a lot, because he makes a lot of money and he doesn't get to spend it on anything other than planning for the future and giving to the government. So don't get antsy, don't buy crap you can't afford. Just keep plugging away, dude. And I'm telling you what, I'm so proud of you, George, so proud of you. You're a hero. You're on the path, my brother.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, it's that time of year. It's starting to get a little bit colder. It's getting a little bit dark earlier. And sometimes if you're like me, you just want to stay inside and get cozy. And for me, my perfect cozy night is me and all of my family piled under blankets, watching a movie, sitting by the fire, maybe even reading a book.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And listen, whatever your perfect night in looks like, sometimes therapy can feel a bit like that. a time when you can settle in, finally exhale, replenish your energy, and begin to take care of yourself. Therapy is a great way to bring yourself some comfort during the chaos and rush of the holiday season or any other time of year. Take care. Bye. Bye. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
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The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Yours are going to be taller because you've got BP1. But, dude, I'm proud of you. The thing I don't want you to do is give up on you. Because your track record is pretty dang good.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
You kind of live there in your free time.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So they've moved the Dr. John Deloney show into the app and along with the Ramsey show and you can get the show a week early. But one of the big questions that people have asked since I started on the show is, okay, you talk to people for eight minutes and you give them this idea or 20 minutes and then you give them these things they need to do. Does this stuff actually work?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And so this was kind of a bluff call. And so there's a couple of episodes of me sitting with somebody for 90 days. We sit in person. And one person, I got on a plane and flew to Connecticut. I was like, I need to see her ASAP. But we walk through. People are struggling with various things, relationships and anxiety, whatever. And it turned out to be a pretty amazing show.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And so this latest episode is about this extraordinary woman named Kelsey who, man, she does a lot of hard, hard work doing this thing. And so it's a fun episode. But you can check out my show. You can check out the Ramsey Show. You can check out everything on Georgia's favorite place to hang out, the Ramsey Network app.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Um, who told you, hold on, who told you either explicitly or implicitly, who told you that you're a burden? Somewhere along the way, you picked up the message that the world would be better if you just stayed in the shadows. Who told you that?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Okay. But that lack of self-confidence comes from someone, something. You don't just wake up with a lack of self-confidence. That's something that's earned over time.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Did you grow up in a house where an adult said, hey, if you do that, your dad's going to get really, or hey, you know mom gets mad if you, is that the house you grew up in?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And you aren't asking yourself, why is he getting what I'm not? You can ask that question, but underneath it is, what's wrong with me?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Seven-year-olds don't tell the truth. I mean, they're not factual creatures, but they're just full-feeling creatures, right? And so all I have to say is, here's where that's important right now. Nothing I tell you, nothing George tells you is going to matter if you don't think you're worth even the conversation.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
If you think you're a burden to tell your husband, I'm not doing this, or we don't have the money for, or I need your help around here with the kids. If you don't think you're worth that conversation or somehow his time or his precious little feelings are more important, more valuable than yours, then it doesn't matter what tips or hacks we give you.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So tell me something. You say your husband's spoiled. How is he spoiled?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Well, I think 50-50, if you try to keep score, that's a recipe for you crashing and burning. I wouldn't do that. But I would seek equity. I would seek, we pull equal weight around here. And what 50-50 means is you do the dishes, I do this. You do this, I do this. And then somebody gets the flu and dishes pile up. Or somebody has a really wild, like my wife has an editorial deadline for her book.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
You can't. It's okay. You know who else can't? Me. You know who else can't? George. Dave.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
I wanna do the dishes, I do my half, she does her half. That destroys relationships. But if there is a sense of, whoever walks by the dishes picks up the dishes. Both of us help with kids' bedtimes. Both of us help with laundry. And it does help sometimes to divvy up. Like, hey, I'll take care of the laundry. I need you to push. My wife hits send on all of our bills, right?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Like we talk about our budget and stuff, but she's the one who actually writes the check or hits send on whatever internet-y thing they have. I don't know how those things get paid. But you see, it starts with a conversation and it starts with the deeper layer here is we do this together.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
and so here's a beautiful moment you're coming up on a new year this is a great time to do it I would love to see you take him out to breakfast and say hey the last year was hard and I'm proud of you for the steps you've made I want us to have the conversation about what kind of marriage we're going to have this year and I want to talk about what you need and what you want I want to talk about what I need and what I want and then we're going to talk about how we can love each other in 2025 we get to build a new marriage this year
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And if you come at him and say, you haven't been doing your stuff, the moment you say the word you, his body is going to, you start to fight him over. He's got to defend himself. But if you sit down and say, I've been taking on the lion's share of the stuff while you got well, I'm so grateful that I was able to help you and walk alongside you in this way. That's great.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
I want to back off on doing everything around the house. And I want us to begin right. So you're using the word I, which is an invitation word. And man, you get to decide, you get to lay it out there.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
I would suggest that you come with a picture in your mind that you can tell him pretty clearly because usually these conversations with the people pleasers start with, I just want you to pick up some more slack and you have a picture in your head of what more slack is. and he gets a picture in his head of what more slack is and those pictures do not match. So let's just be, let's be specific.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Let's be very specific and find a moment where you can be grateful for the things that he does do. And these conversations always help with a spirit of gratitude, a spirit of curiosity, not judging, not, I can't believe it. It's just about invitation. And then if he says, I'm not doing any of that stuff. Now you have to deal with the actual gaps in your marriage, right?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Hopefully he hears you and says, I'm all in. I can't wait to build something new in 2025. Thanks for the call.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Tell me if I'm out to lunch, man. And, dude, I want to honor you in this moment. Like, this isn't an easy phone call for you to make, is it? No. Okay. I want to tell you, like, if you were here, I wouldn't say anything to you. I'd just give you a hug for a second, okay? I know this call's hard. You got three kids. You're a good dad. You're a good husband.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And you also have that nagging feeling that you've probably had for 13 years. Like, I don't know what I'm doing. Is that fair?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
How much money do you all make a year?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So is it a glorified hobby? I'm not asking that in a mean way.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Okay. But, I mean, she makes $6,000 a year? Oh, yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So the, the quickest thing, the quickest way to get out of survival mode is you have to have a, you've been running, think of it this way. You've been running for, um, Or you're a paramedic, so I've run the streets with you guys a little bit.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
You know how annoying it is when a colleague from another department shows up and is just yelling, kind of running around like crazy without a direction, without a set of orders, right? Yeah. That's been your life. And so the thing you have to have more than anything else is a, a direction and a goal where you and your wife actually want to end up.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And by the way, it feels like the end of the world. George and I talk to people all day long who don't have bipolar 1 who blow through $20,000, $30,000, $40,000, $50,000 in credit card debt. And so $20,000 making $100,000 a year, $105,000, you're going to be able to pay that off real quick.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And then you can have a plan to get there, but you don't have that. You just been doing the next right thing for 13 years. And now you're almost 30 years old. You got three kids and you're like, oh gosh, we don't have anything.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Right. And so, again, going back to, this is the magic question that transformed my marriage. Actually, it didn't transform it. It kept it from falling completely apart. When my wife asked me, what do you want this house to feel like when you walk in the door? And that led me to go to counseling because I was such an anxious mess and I had to deal with that.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
That led to us getting our money squared up because I was tired of being anxious about it. My wife had to go do her own work. And so like your wife just deciding I'm so anxious now, I just don't do anything for two weeks out of every month or whatever, 26 weeks out of every year. That's insane. That's madness. She needs to go talk to somebody and head straight into that anxiety.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And you, you're making good money and probably you told yourself since you were 16 years old, if I could make six figures, all my problems would go away. But you're missing half your life. And so maybe 85 is a better number for you where I can be with my family.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
right or she's working y'all built the whole thing hopefully you didn't take out a whole bunch of loan on it to or take a equity line of credit to build the thing in the backyard but dude she could work at starbucks for six hours a week and make six thousand dollars a year right you know what i mean and so it's just a matter of asking where do we want to actually go what do we want this house to feel like
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Right, right. And you have felt less than for a long, long time. And I just want to tell you, dude, the odds you're getting somebody pregnant at 16, that A, you stuck around, that B, y'all stuck this out, that C, y'all aren't in abject poverty. You have beaten every statistic against you.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
I've got to get this figured out. No, no, hold on. Before you do that, I want you to exhale and say, I've done some good. Right. Okay. You've done some good. Now tell me, you're 35 years old. What do you want your house to feel like?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You've been thinking about everybody else for 13 years. What do you want your house to feel like when you're 35 years old and you walk in the day after your birthday? What do you want the house to feel like?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
That's your survival mode talking. That's your scarcity world. That's the childhood you grew up in.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Let's flip it around. What do you want your house to feel like? In my house, you know what I want? I want it to be filled with laughter.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
I want my wife to be happy that I'm home, which means I have to exercise. I got to go deal with my mental and emotional health. That means I got to help around the house. I mean, I got to be an active participant in my house. I want my kids happy that I'm there, right? Not just because I buy them crap, because they like me. Yeah, absolutely. And they know that I'm a safe person, right?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So I think that's the exercise, and I want you and your wife to get away at the turn of the year here and ask yourself, what do we want this house to feel like? And then hang on the line. I'm going to send you – George and I will send you Financial Peace University. We'll send you the EveryDollarBudget website.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
I'm going to send you a copy of George's book, Breaking Free from Broke, that will walk you through step by step. I'll send you Dave Ramsey's bestseller. Gosh, I just lost the title. Total Money Makeover? The book that built this building. James is laughing in there. Total Money Makeover, the OG book, right? I'll send you everything because I want to support you guys and walk with you.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
But you guys have to get away and say, okay, what does this house have to feel like? And then you'll have to head into these things that you've been scared about. I don't know anything about money. We got you. I'm worried about your anxiety. We're going to go see a counselor. I'm worried about the kid number two. We're going to go meet with the teachers.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
We're going to go head into these problems in 2025. No more avoiding. We're done avoiding. I'm proud of you. We'll be right back.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Well, they traded Tucker, so I'm still kind of bummed about it, but we're moving on. So what's up, dude?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Artificially. You used some great big words in that sentence. That was fantastic.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Do you have savings that you can go pay them off today?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So at $104,000 a year, can you get onto a local credit union and take out a loan for $4,000? Or $5,500 and get them paid off?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Yeah, but your future casting problems. What if you just simply said, I'm going to take my two VA checks for five years, and that's going to go straight to the house? That's $450,000, right? Wow. Yeah. It's $80,000 times five. It's $450,000. So the house is covered. Now you and your family have to struggle and scratch and claw to live off $190,000 with no house payment.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
I don't know how y'all will make it, but surely y'all can figure that out. Wow. I didn't look at it that way. You see what I'm saying? Like you just cleared every one of your problems. You have a guaranteed income that will vest your house before, and vest is the wrong word. It's just the word I'm using. It will clear your house before the arm reset. You're done. It's guaranteed money.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
It's not going to go away. Your salary will probably fluctuate. You're 190. Hopefully it keeps going up, but you can't predict five, 10 years from now. But good God almighty, dude, that puts you in the tip, tip, tip top of earners in America to take care of your family.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And then delete their number out of your phone. And block it. And block it and delete every app off your phone.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
You're going to have a huge house, a nice place, and a great salary, and you're not going to have new Tahos, and that's frustrating.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And retired military guys aren't supposed to drive Camrys. We all know that, but you know what I mean?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
You need to give 10% to your local church and you need to give a little bit to here and there. And right now you need to make sure that nobody's going to have to give to take care of you in 30 years. Gotcha. You know what I'm saying? You're a good, good man.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
But, I mean, I think, yes, tithe your 10% to your local church and be generous where you can and help out. And what did you do in the military, brother? Electronics. Okay. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
domestic or overseas or both oh both okay yeah I was gone I don't know six years out of 22 do you um tell me if I'm wrong dude but I feel like I hear it on you do you have that sense of why me sense of what that sense of why me why am I the one who's got a good house and my parents are still together and we're living by them and I got a good marriage and my kids are healthy and I make great money why me
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Hang on the line. I'm going to send you Financial Peace University. We're going to get you hooked up and I'm going to send you the EveryDollar app. And I would love it if you had an accountability partner who also you could connect to the EveryDollar app and y'all could review budgets together. Or if you bought stuff, it shows up and they can see it too.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Thank you. I want you to hold your head up high. You're in a good spot. And you've got to where you are because you're good at future casting. You're good at predicting what comes next and kind of solving that problem. You give me entirely too much credit.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Yeah, but you learned this magic thing. You learned this magic thing called intuition, which people think is some kind of voodoo. Intuition is just I screwed it up a bunch and I see it coming again, right? And you work hard and you're good at what you do.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
There's a fine line. Yeah, exactly. You're clearly good at what you do, but there's a fine line between future casting and anxiety and worrying.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
so like uh like spoiler alert yes your cars are gonna crap out they are so just start planning now spoiler alert you got 80 000 guaranteed tax-free income coming every year and as a taxpayer i'm honored to get to pay it for the work that for the parts of your life you gave up to protect my family dude i'm all in on that pay your house off with it call good worry about other things later
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
What up, what up? It's Dr. John Deloney from the Dr. John Deloney Show with some amazing news. The latest episode of United States of Anxiety is available right now exclusively on the Ramsey Network app. This docuseries follows real people from my show as they embark on a 90-day journey to transform their lives, and I personally walk alongside them every step of the way.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Okay, now, here's a sneak peek of what the new episode is all about. And don't forget to click the link in the show notes to download the app. What's up, Kelsey?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
What does crippling anxiety mean? Paint me a picture of that. All right, so you ready to jump in?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So we're going to check in with Kelsey 30 days, 60 days, 90 days.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
She's experiencing things that really hurt a long time ago. Tell me about this boy.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And that might be a way that you can have mutual accountability with somebody. But all in all, man, you had a rough season. And by the way, if you've got trouble with gambling, go to a meeting tonight. Go to a meeting in the morning. Get on top of this stuff. But man, you are on the right track. I want you to dust yourself up and get up and go again. I'm proud of you. We'll be right back.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
It just feels like it would be exhausting to be Kelsey.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Whenever somebody's playing whack-a-mole with their anxiety, when it just keeps moving, that tells me the underlying system's not okay.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
One of two people that's supposed to never leave took off.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Your burden, that's right. To the one person who should carry it, all of it. Did you ever tell that little girl that it wasn't her fault?
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
You either have to choose to let this guy love you, or you gotta choose to let this guy go.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
And hey, I want to hijack this for one second. This is totally self-serving, America. Listen, my YouTube channel is at 997,000 followers. I'm 3,000 away. I want to hit that million mark before Christmas. Wherever you happen to be right now, if you'll stop and go to the Dr. John Deloney Show and subscribe on YouTube, just help me hit that million mark real quick. It'd be a Christmas miracle.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
That is self-serving. So thank you for that.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Nobody cares. I'm just kidding. It's fine.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
So if you want to give him a gift, hit a button that makes him feel better about himself. Hit the subscribe button. You're exhausting.
The Ramsey Show
Your Future Self Deserves Better Choices Today
Do you ever play the lottery? Because if not, you should probably start.