📈 Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a Free Personalized Plan 📱 Watch the full episode for free in the Ramsey Network app. George Kamel and Rachel Cruze answer your questions and discuss: "How do I get my husband to allow me to have my own money?" "Do I need to start building my credit score at 19 years-old?" "Should I be concerned that my girlfriend has no desire to work?" "Is my phone bill debt?" "How do convince my 17 year old son that day trading isn't a good way to make money?" "I'm getting divorced and drowning in debt, what do I do?" Current housing market trends, "Can I afford a million dollar house?" Next Steps: ✅ Help us make the show better by taking this short survey! 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2–5 p.m. ET or send us an email. 💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! 💰Hurry—Your chance to win $5k is almost over! Enter the Ramsey Cash Giveaway today! 🏠 Get organized and prepared to buy or sell a home. Connect with our Sponsors: 🛒 Stop paying more and start shopping smarter at Aldi 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp 📱Go to Boost Mobile to switch today! 🏥 Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries 🏡 Get started today with Churchill Mortgage 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe 🏦 Go to FAIRWINDS Credit Union for an exclusive account bundle! 🥗 Save 15% on your first Field of Greens order with code RAMSEY ⛨ Find top Health Insurance Plans at Health Trust Financial 💸 To find out more about student loan refinancing, check out Laurel Road 💻 Visit NetSuite today to learn more 🗂️ Use promo code RAMSEY for 18% off at The Nokbox 💵 Learn more about Timothy Plan 🏛 Get started with YRefy or call 844-2-RAMSEY 🔐 Visit Zander Insurance for your free instant quote today! Explore more from Ramsey Network: 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: How can I get my husband to allow me to have my own money?
Hi, thanks so much for taking my call. I'll try to be quick with my question. My husband does well financially, but he tends to be a bit controlling with money. He's always taken the inheritance I've received each year and invested it in the stock market. Recently, I received about 50K, which will probably be the last bit of inheritance for a while.
Since I'm a stay-at-home mom with no allowance, I'd like to keep this money in a separate savings account in my name only. But he's adamantly against this and wants me to give him the money to invest. He said he'll give me the monthly dividends as an allowance. But I was hoping for more freedom than that.
Oh, geez, Sally.
I don't like the word allowance used when it's not with your own child. Right.
Is this how it's been your whole marriage? Yeah. Yeah, and sometimes I get an allowance and sometimes I don't.
Based on your behavior? Did you clean up your toys? I don't understand.
Do you have access to y'all's checking account? Do you have a debit card to go and spend?
I do. I use the credit card that's both of ours for gas and groceries, but if I need to get a haircut or something, I use my debit card and I have money in there that I usually... I get money from my mom sometimes.
Why are you getting money from your mom? Because what he's giving you isn't enough to cover the things that you want or need? Right. This is not okay.
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Chapter 2: Do I need to start building my credit score at 19 years old to buy a house?
And there's a lot of gaslighting where he makes you think you're the crazy one.
Yeah. Yeah, Sally, no. So right now, from what you've given us in this call, I would have my own account and have your own money in. And then that's a very reasonable step for you. And then beyond that, Sally, what we see constantly is that money is a window into the relationship, right? That this really isn't a money issue. This is that you have...
You have a jerk of a husband who treats you, which sounds horrible, unlike a team, right, that a healthy marriage would represent, that we are in this together, and I trust you, you trust me, and we're going to win, and we're going to be excited about this. It is a downplaying and manipulating and, yeah, John Wright abusive. You know what I mean? Of how he's controlling money and all of that.
Like, this is not... You're not in a healthy place, right, with your marriage at all. And so that's what I would start to target, Sally. The money is going to be there for you as a tool if you need it, if you need to get out of this marriage. But what I would be pushing him towards is we need to go to marriage counseling ASAP because I can't function like this anymore.
As a human being in this marriage. You know what I mean? Like, it's horrible, Sally. You're in a really bad situation. And I want you to feel the weight of that, that you're not crazy.
You're not crazy. Thank you. I can't see the forest through the trees. It's been so long, but I appreciate that. Do you have community around you, Sally?
Friends, family, people that you can confide in?
Yeah. Out of state, I do. So I'll be spending time with them this summer. So that will be nice, just with my son and I. So we'll have some time away for a little bit.
This inheritance, this is just yours, right? He has no legal right to this.
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Chapter 3: What should I do if my girlfriend has no desire to work?
Hi there. Yeah, so I'm fresh out of high school. I don't have any debt. I've never taken out any loans. And I'm curious that when I start to go look for a house 10 years down the line or whenever, how will I be able to get a mortgage without having any credit?
Oh, Jake, you were speaking my language. This is one of my favorite questions because it feels like a magic trick. You know, when people ask this question, they go, I need to build a credit and I can go through how to rent a car without a credit score, renting an apartment, all the things. But the house is the one that gets people. So that tells me you already know there's a way to do it. Yeah.
So what have you found out in your research so far about how to buy a house without a credit score?
So, I've heard different things, and it doesn't really make sense to me. Someone brought up a manual underwrite, and I'm not really sure what that is. I don't really understand what they're talking about.
Perfect. So, when you think about the credit score, this was invented in the 90s, and all it did was make it easier for lenders to kind of do a vibe check on the people they were lending money to, right? So Jake has a high score. Great. He's a reliable borrower. We know Jake's probably going to pay back. Well, back before credit scores existed, instead of automated underwriting...
Through computers and AI and credit scores, there was something called manual underwriting, where a real person like me sits down, looks at Jake's tax returns, his pay stubs, his previous payment history on his rent and utility bills and insurance and go, oh, okay, Jake's a reliable person. He's going to pay back the money he borrowed.
And so that's all manual underwriting is, is instead of relying on a credit score, it relies on a real person to look at your financial documentation.
Yeah, versus like a computer or technology doing it. It's a person. So manual versus not.
And a lot of mortgage companies, because they're truthfully just lazy, go, no, we don't do that. So people think, wow, I can't get a mortgage without a credit score. But there's a lot of companies that will do it. And the main one that specializes in this is called Churchill Mortgage. They've been a partner of The Ramsey Show for over three decades now.
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Chapter 4: Can I afford a home with current debt and what mortgage should I get?
Nope, this is just her bachelor's degree.
Is she just stretching it out because she's got mommy and daddy's bank attached? I'm like, sweet, why ever leave school? I'll be in school until I'm dead.
That's kind of my fear. So she has two older brothers in the same situation who are 31 and 29. And they're still in school? Yeah, also still in school, never worked.
Hey, parents, let this be your memo. Don't do this ever.
Derek, does she feel like a winner to you?
No, not at this particular moment.
I don't know how long this relationship is going to last because, man.
So that's kind of where I didn't know how bad the situation was. I didn't know their work history or anything. Just recently found out that none of them have worked. Talked to her about that. And we've been dating a year. So we started talking about marriage and finances. And this is when it all started to come up of, okay, what's the plan? And what's her plan?
And for now, it sounds like as soon as she gets married, her Either me or a future husband is taking care of all expenses while she finishes school.
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Chapter 5: Is my phone bill considered debt and should I buy a cell phone on installments?
So just started up, haven't even been a full year. So I would say this year, I mean, I'd be lucky if I hit 10,000. Okay.
So you'd probably bring in about 60,000 this year, give or take?
Yeah, I would say, you know, somewhere in that range.
Okay. So number one, I would focus on building some financial foundation before you even think about home ownership. And here's what that looks like. Getting completely consumer debt free. So paying off the truck completely, paying off the credit cards completely, not going into any more debt, and then building an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses.
And that might take you a year to do all of that. Yeah. And so there's a prerequisite there. Then once we have that foundation, we can begin saving up for the down payment on top of that and a separate savings account.
Yeah. And the reason why we do that, John, is because what we find is home ownership is extremely expensive. Right. So when you when the heating and air goes out, you know, you have to take care of the yard. I mean, there's so much that goes into owning a home and it's very expensive. And so when broke people go and buy homes, they become broker owners. is what happens.
They get in a really stressful spot. And so putting yourself in a position where you have such this like zero risk, lots of money in the bank. So when things come up, it's like, oh, that broke. We'll just fix it here out of this cash that we have. We're not having to go deeper into debt for things that happen. We have the ability to be autonomous with our money.
And that is a very stress free way to live versus the opposite. And the opposite would be what many people do, John, they're in your situation and then they go and get a mortgage and get a home and they're dating someone. They buy a house with the person they're dating.
And then they look up in three years, they have no money, a relationship that's broken off, but the other person still is on the deed of the home and like all of it. And it's an absolute mess. And they end up calling our show. So I'm glad you called when you did, because we want to stop. We want this to be way smoother than what we see a lot of people do. So
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Chapter 6: Should I take money out of savings to start a small business?
Chapter 7: What are the risks of combining home ownership with a partner?
Because hopefully you have the character to say, I'm an adult and I'm going to start making adult-like decisions. And now it's showing that her character isn't there.
Yeah, that was my tester to see if she was willing to put in some effort because I want to make things work. But if I'm expected to take 100% of the financial... burden for the next 50 years. I don't know if I can handle that.
Right. And it's not even like a situation, Derek, where she's working and she's like, hey, but when I become a mom, I want to be full-time at home and I want my job to be that. I want to transfer home and be a full-time mom. But there's no initiative at all in who she is. And what always that fear is to me is is that it starts to bleed into other areas of your life. You know what I mean?
Of like this procrastination, just apathy, apathy or laziness, or like, I don't know what it is, but I'm like, man, yeah, it's just not very, it's not a lot of attractive qualities that come out of that. And I'm not saying that she needs to like, Oh, be some corporate woman climbing the ladder and working 80 hours a week.
It's not even that, but it's just like, yeah, I want the dignity to have my own money. I'm 26. I'm 26. And I've been in school for, For what, eight years?
I don't even know how you drag out a bachelor's degree for eight years. That's what I'm saying, even if it was a master's. That's honestly impressive. Is she just taking like part-time classes or like flunking every time?
She's had to retake a lot of classes where she's... Failed? Failed. Says she wants to get into, like, a master's, PhD program. Yikes, dude.
Yeah, Derek.
For those reasons, I'm out. I mean, I'm sure she's a wonderful person, but this is not someone I want to continue down the path with personally, based on what you told me.
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Chapter 8: How do credit unions differ from big banks and what benefits do they offer?
Well, that was the call that Ken and I think Jade took earlier this week maybe. They were telling us that – Um, yeah. Deed to a house and they ended up breaking up and he stopped paying.
Oh, I was on that one.
Was that you? Okay.
I remember it very fondly.
Yes. So, I mean, it's just those situations and. Yeah.
She moved out, but her name was on the deed and the mortgage and they're no longer together and it's getting foreclosed on now because he stopped paying.
That's it.
And we're like, this is it. She's like, well, we don't communicate. I'm like, well, you're going to have to start to, cause you guys got into this business transaction together and the most expensive financial decision of your life.
I know. And what's always so funny is that the advice we give, we joke that we're weird.
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