📈 Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a Free Personalized Plan 📱 Watch the full episode for free in the Ramsey Network app. John Delony and George Kamel answer your questions and discuss: "Should we financially support our mother after she was abusive to me and my siblings?" "How do I recover after being scammed out of half my life savings?" "How do I get my fiancé to commit to paying off his debt?" "How do we balance saving for our kids' future vs. having more fun in the present?" "How do we get out of the cycle of being underpaid and living in poverty?" "My husband has no interest in combining our finances" Next Steps: ✅ Help us make the show better by taking this short survey! 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2–5 p.m. ET or send us an email. ❤️🩹 Get trusted insurance coverage that fits your budget. 💰Hurry—Your chance to win $5k is almost over! Enter the Ramsey Cash Giveaway today! 💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! Connect with our Sponsors: 🛒 Stop paying more and start shopping smarter at Aldi 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp 📱Go to Boost Mobile to switch today! 🏥 Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries 🏡 Get started today with Churchill Mortgage 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe 🏦 Go to FAIRWINDS Credit Union for an exclusive account bundle! 🥗 Save 15% on your first Field of Greens order with code RAMSEY ⛨ Find top Health Insurance Plans at Health Trust Financial 💸 To find out more about student loan refinancing, check out Laurel Road 💻 Visit NetSuite today to learn more 🗂️ Use promo code RAMSEY for 18% off at The Nokbox 💵 Learn more about Timothy Plan 🏛 Get started with YRefy or call 844-2-RAMSEY 🔐 Visit Zander Insurance for your free instant quote today! Explore more from Ramsey Network: 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: Should I financially support my abusive mother?
Laura is going to kick us off in New York City. How can we help today, Laura?
Hi, thank you so much for having me on the show.
Absolutely.
Okay, so my question is, do I have a moral obligation to give my mom money when she was abusive to me and my siblings and historically not financially responsible?
Oof. You frame that really heavy, like moral responsibility. Where does the weight of that come from?
I think it comes from I grew up in a Christian church, and I still am. I still follow Christianity. Okay, so hold on.
What's the directive there?
Well, I want to do the right thing.
But what's the word used? What's the directive in Scripture?
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Chapter 2: How do I recover after losing half my life savings to a scam?
Yeah.
Now, what will your siblings say when you say, hey, even if I wanted to, I don't have the money?
Well, yeah, they've said you could just make more lifestyle changes and just come up with money, which we already— Live on one income, have kids.
Can't your mom do that too?
Yeah. Yeah, I know. That's how I feel.
Now, if you don't give, is it on the siblings? Are they going to have to take on more and they're still going to do this regardless of what you do?
Yeah, I think that's the rub. I know it makes my siblings' finances harder because
Nope, that's not true. Not true. Your siblings choose to make their situations challenging because they are choosing to still try to find a way to have a relationship with their mom. And at this point, the only path towards a relationship with her is you give me cash. So they are making choices too.
Yeah.
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Chapter 3: How can I motivate my fiancé to commit to paying off debt?
Somebody weaponized what I think is the most sacred thing, and that's a relationship. And... And then inside that relationship, somebody asked you for help, and you're the kind of guy that helps. And that hurts, man. I feel like I was financially raped. Fair enough. And so you want to go get all that money back. Your car transmission doesn't care about that.
And so while this, I want to get it back, I want to find the guy, I'm calling all the people. That's front and center in your guts. You feel that really heavy when we're hurt like this and it feels overwhelming. It's important to feel that feeling and then go do the next right thing. And in your case, we just got to start again financially. And it sounds caustic, but there's not another option.
And so here's the good news. You have $150,000. Yes. You didn't wipe it out. So we're going to start building it back. We're going to get an emergency fund built up. So we're our own bank. And so when our car goes, we're going to be a couple of years away from getting the big, nice truck we wanted. Cool.
We're going to be able to have money in the account just in case we need to go get a new Camry. Great. Cool. Problem solved. On to the next one. On to the next one. And in the background, we'll do what we can. I don't know. I mean, the chances that you get this money back are very, very, very slim.
What I don't want is for this to consume you. Obviously, it already has. But for the next 10 years, you're just on this hunt and this search. And over time, it becomes more and more apparent it's not going to happen. And so I also don't want you to waste your time kind of chasing going down this rabbit trail all for nothing. I'd rather you spend that time rebuilding. than recovering.
And so we can rebuild. You might have to work a few years longer than you wanted to. You're 54. I just crunched some numbers for you. If you just invested 15% of that $60,000 income, never got a raise, but you'd have to work till 70, you could have a million dollars in that 401k and retire with dignity, especially if you keep your expenses low.
So I'm not worried that you're going to like just go completely broke. I'm more worried about Mark as a person emotionally and physically.
Thank you.
Can I give you like a homework assignment?
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Chapter 4: How do we balance saving for our kids' future vs. enjoying life now?
Woo, John, I sure need that flashlight right now.
Well, come on, bring it on.
Y'all, I'm so done with debt. I'm getting married in a week and a half, and my fiance is on board for us getting out of this mess, but I'm having problems getting him to be intense with our money, be intense with the plan, moving forward with the plan, and I just need help lighting a fire under him.
Can I ask you a personal, personal question just between me and you and a couple million people?
Sure.
Have you ever been told in your life that you are quote-unquote a lot? yes okay have you ever been told like hey not very often when you were little yes okay here's why i'm asking that don't change a thing about you okay but often you're heading into a humongous life transition is that fair uh yes and you're nervous and excited and cannot wait and oh my gosh what am i doing
All of it?
Yes. Okay. There's no possible way anybody that you would choose to marry, unless you were clinically insane, would be able to match your level of intensity right now. And in fact, probably the reason you love this guy is because he's a walking Xanax for you. Fair?
You nailed it. You nailed it.
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Chapter 5: What steps can break the cycle of being underpaid and living in poverty?
Chapter 6: My husband has no interest in combining our finances – what now?
Somebody weaponized what I think is the most sacred thing, and that's a relationship. And... And then inside that relationship, somebody asked you for help, and you're the kind of guy that helps. And that hurts, man. I feel like I was financially raped. Fair enough. And so you want to go get all that money back. Your car transmission doesn't care about that.
And so while this, I want to get it back, I want to find the guy, I'm calling all the people. That's front and center in your guts. You feel that really heavy when we're hurt like this and it feels overwhelming. It's important to feel that feeling and then go do the next right thing. And in your case, we just got to start again financially. And it sounds caustic, but there's not another option.
And so here's the good news. You have $150,000. Yes. You didn't wipe it out. So we're going to start building it back. We're going to get an emergency fund built up. So we're our own bank. And so when our car goes, we're going to be a couple of years away from getting the big, nice truck we wanted. Cool.
We're going to be able to have money in the account just in case we need to go get a new Camry. Great. Cool. Problem solved. On to the next one. On to the next one. And in the background, we'll do what we can. I don't know. I mean, the chances that you get this money back are very, very, very slim.
What I don't want is for this to consume you. Obviously, it already has. But for the next 10 years, you're just on this hunt and this search. And over time, it becomes more and more apparent it's not going to happen. And so I also don't want you to waste your time kind of chasing going down this rabbit trail all for nothing. I'd rather you spend that time rebuilding. than recovering.
And so we can rebuild. You might have to work a few years longer than you wanted to. You're 54. I just crunched some numbers for you. If you just invested 15% of that $60,000 income, never got a raise, but you'd have to work till 70, you could have a million dollars in that 401k and retire with dignity, especially if you keep your expenses low.
So I'm not worried that you're going to like just go completely broke. I'm more worried about Mark as a person emotionally and physically.
Thank you.
Can I give you like a homework assignment?
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Chapter 7: What are the latest trends in the housing market and should I buy now?
Chapter 8: How can I protect my identity from cyber attacks and data breaches?
And let's ask that question because we get that, George and I get that a lot. Do you even have the money to give her?
Well, no.
Okay, period. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
Yeah.
You don't have the money.
Yeah.
Now, what will your siblings say when you say, hey, even if I wanted to, I don't have the money?
Well, yeah, they've said you could just make more lifestyle changes and just come up with money, which we already— Live on one income, have kids.
Can't your mom do that too?
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