📈 Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a Free Personalized Plan 📱 Watch the full episode for free in the Ramsey Network app. Dave Ramsey and Dr. John Deloney answer your questions and discuss: "How do I protect myself and my children financially while going through a divorce?" "Should we buy an investment property with my daughter's settlement money?" "Am I being selfish if I don't pay for activities for my family at a destination wedding?" "How do I convince my husband that work isn’t the only thing that matters?" "My parents did not prepare for retirement, how do I help them?" "My husband hid debt from me and now he wants to get a debt consolidation loan. Is this a good idea?" "We committed to giving away a car, but it now needs expensive repairs. What should we do?" "We have $200,000 in debt, should we sell our home to pay down our debt?" Next Steps: ✅ Help us make the show better by taking this short survey! 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2–5 p.m. ET or send us an email. 🎟️ Dave Ramsey and John Delony are going on tour this month! Get tickets today 💰 Hurry—Your chance to win $5k is almost over! Enter the Ramsey Cash Giveaway today! 💵 Sign up for a free training with our EveryDollar team! Connect with our Sponsors: 🛒 Stop paying more and start shopping smarter at Aldi 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp 📱Go to Boost Mobile to switch today! 🏥 Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries 🏡 Get started today with Churchill Mortgage 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe 🏦 Go to FAIRWINDS Credit Union for an exclusive account bundle! 🥗 Save 15% on your first Field of Greens order with code RAMSEY ⛨ Find top Health Insurance Plans at Health Trust Financial 💸 To find out more about student loan refinancing, check out Laurel Road 💻 Visit NetSuite today to learn more 🗂️ Use promo code RAMSEY for 18% off at The Nokbox 💵 Learn more about Timothy Plan 🏛 Get started with YRefy or call 844-2-RAMSEY 🔐 Visit Zander Insurance for your free instant quote today! Explore more from Ramsey Network: 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: How can I protect myself financially during a divorce with children involved?
I am hanging in there, holding on to God's promises.
I hear you.
My husband, we have six children together. We've been married for almost 20 years, and he wants to file for a divorce this summer. I've been a stay-at-home mom for 14 years. I've had a little bit of part-time income, what works with our kids' schedule, but essentially everything's valued under him, so to speak. Just trying to figure out how to financially prepare myself for everything coming ahead.
Holy moly. What happened, Christy?
Um, honestly, I really don't know. Um, back in 2010, when we had our third child, we actually used to teach FPU and paid off all our debt. Things were going really well. Um, had three more kids. And then in 2020, my husband, when we refined the answer house, confessed to me that he had been using credit cards and drove up some debt.
So we took out a little extra money on our home loan to pay off those. He promised me he was going to cancel all those and they were going to be done. And then earlier this year, I found out again, he had driven up almost $60,000 in credit card debt. So we took out a second mortgage against the house to pay for all that.
Because as you can imagine, all the credit card fees was hundreds and hundreds of $1,000 a month, not to mention the balances. And then he kind of, things went downhill really quickly after that. So yeah, it's been a very difficult year. year. Our oldest started college this year. We've got kids from 18 all the way down to four years old. The four-year-old is in my preschool class currently.
I'm a preschool teacher to try to make money because I can have my son with me. So yeah, life's a little chaos. I just want to Try to be prepared. I just found out that he hasn't been paying my life insurance. So I'm going to need to get a new life insurance policy as well. Just kind of everything's up on end.
When you say he's filing.
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Chapter 2: Should my daughter invest her settlement money in rental property?
I abandoned you with six children after running up credit cards three different times deceptively. This guy's a real treat. Yeah.
Dude, you just said it. It's so important. People think when they're in a tough spot in their marriage, everybody gets in those moments. Or there's a bunch of kids running around, you're exhausted, work's crazy, the government's, all this stuff. And you think, if I could just extract myself from this situation and plant myself somewhere else, all this would go away. I want to get a divorce.
And Dave, you called it out. It's important to note that's just not how divorce works. When you extract yourself and you just plant yourself somewhere else, man, it comes with so many other strings and payments and connections and juggling kids' schedules and all that stuff.
Even without Christie wanting it, the law is still going to make him do certain things in most states. Again, not an expert. I'm not an attorney, and I don't practice law in South Dakota. You need to talk to somebody that does on Monday, and then you need to start taking a position of strength on this. This guy is playing weird stuff going on here. Yeah. Yeah. It's sad.
I'm so sorry you're facing that, man. I hate this for you, Christie. Let's be honest, shopping for health insurance can be confusing. With high costs, complicated terms, and customer service that doesn't really serve you, most folks just pick a plan and hope for the best. See, insurance companies don't work for you. They work for themselves, meaning they love it when you overpay.
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Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host. Suzanne is in Denver. Hey, Suzanne, how are you?
I can't believe I'm talking to you, Dave. I'm great. How are you?
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Chapter 3: Is it selfish to pay for family activities at a destination wedding?
Yeah, you don't go buy a truck for somebody you just started going to work for. No.
Yeah, no, no, no.
I get that 100%.
Yeah, no.
And I'm going to sit right tight until you get to making some money, kiddo. Right now you're dreaming about stuff. Go make some money. Go make some money. Go work and make some money. And that will solve a lot of these problems.
All right, Dave, you have some strong opinions.
Possibly, yeah.
Yeah, I think so. Okay, because you really prefer credit unions over big banks.
Well, credit unions, for one thing, are non-profit, which means that the members, the customers, own the credit union. So any profits that the credit union makes goes back into customer accounts. pricing. So you get better interest rate on savings, cheaper checking, and so on, that kind of thing.
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Chapter 4: How do I convince my spouse that work-life balance matters?
Yeah, you've got the money, and that's what you want to do with it. But don't do it if you're going to hold a grudge.
Yeah, or if you're doing it and it makes you feel superior.
Yeah. Yeah. And both of those things are kind of coming out in the conversation. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So, yeah. So, you know, I'd put those things aside or I wouldn't do it. One of the two. And just say, that's the way it is. It's just, you know, we just did the wedding because you're not like in charge of the wedding. It's not your wedding. It's your brother's. Yeah.
And if he says, I don't want to, I don't want a photographer or I can't afford a photographer. Then until he says, well, he already bought the photographer.
That's done.
I know. But before that, his brother said, hey, we're not going to get a photographer. And then he took it upon himself to say, hey, that's dumb. I'll buy it. And or we'll all pitch in for it. But it's it's I'm coming to solve problems that people aren't asking me to solve. And then I'm getting upset that I'm solving them. Right.
Either be invited into this deal or just be really great, gracious and giving and move on with your life, man.
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Chapter 5: How can I help my parents who didn't prepare for retirement?
Okay. And so the house is paid for, and they have a pension coming in, and they're going to have to work some to supplement the pension and Social Security to stay afloat. Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, so my dad, he's, yeah, so the thing is, like, I mean, I agree that if you can work, you can work. But my mother, she had to retire early due to health issues. My father, he's completely healthy, but recently he's developed like a heart condition and he had to get his valve replaced.
So what are you asking us about your situation?
Like, can you help and pitch in? No, I think you need to coach them on how they take the money that they have and the opportunities that they have to make themselves a sustainable life. I don't think you supplement this. You don't have the money to supplement it, number one. based on what you told me anyway, because there's not $5 million laying somewhere I don't know about in this conversation.
Yeah, I definitely don't have $5 million. You don't even own a house. And so, no, you're not.
They own a $650,000 house. They kind of got it up on you right now. And so I think they need to reconfigure their life to live within the income they can create and or have coming in. And if that means selling the $650,000 house and moving into a $350,000 condo, I'm okay with that.
And if that means that they work some and she's a nurse, but she can't maybe go walk the floor as a nurse, but she probably can do a lot on remote work as a nurse. I would imagine there's lots of remote things she can do sitting at a computer. using her nursing knowledge that will make some money to come in without straining her physically. And once his valve is replaced, what can he do?
Probably not going to be digging ditches or running marathons, but could he do some things with his mind that he has learned over the years and bring in another $1,000 or $2,000 a month consulting fees on something? Sure. And those are the kinds of things I want you to coach them on, not you start writing them checks because it's tight. Because you're not in a position to.
And now everybody goes down with this ship because they won't deal with creating a sustainable mathematic situation.
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Chapter 6: Is it a good idea to buy expensive equipment for a new side business?
And he's acting like a free agent just running around over here. And you can't tell me if I buy a couch and I'll do whatever I want to do. And I may or may not tell you. And that's really destructive, isn't it?
Yes, sir. And I don't know what else to do. I've suggested the budget. No, no, no. I've suggested the app.
That's not where the problem lies. Here's the problem number one. You don't even know how bad this is. And until you both sit down and pull credit reports and you actually have real data in front of you, pull all three of them. And you look and see who do you owe money to. And here's why you have to do it that way because you don't trust him because he keeps lying to you.
He keeps telling you, no, this is it. And you find out there's a couch note. And then you find out there's another note. And here's the second problem. You tell him, hey, I'm so scared about our financial future. You know how you say those words to him? You're stupid. This plan doesn't work. Why don't you budget? You don't say those. Instead, you say, I'm scared. Instead, you say, I'm scared.
That's the way you talk to him. Hey, this is a dumb idea. And he doesn't hear that. He thinks, nope, you're dumb. And then he's hiding couch receipts somewhere. Instead of you saying, do you love me? Because if you do, I'm so, so scared about what happens next for us.
I just brought this up today, and I think this is what led me to the call is I heard – I just want to give you everything you want. It's not true. That is not true. That's a lie. He's lying to you. His conviction is making me feel like I can literally live with an RV, get rid of everything, let's get rid of the debt, sell everything. These are the examples I have given him.
Just let's get rid of everything we don't need. Pay off those cards. Get back up, float, and breathe. And None of that is being heard, and I don't know what to do, y'all.
Let him see this right here.
He has. It's not working. I feel the devil is attacking, and I don't know what to do.
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Chapter 7: Why is life insurance important and how can it protect my family?
What is a check engine light equaling $4,000?
Yeah. So there's some, an oil leak that's kind of, you know, I guess standard to Subarus. Um, and it's, it's kind of all over the engine. And then they said at this point they need to, uh, Take the engine out, replace all the gaskets, and it's about a 16-hour labor job. That would be the Subaru dealer. It is, yeah.
Yeah, bull crap.
Absolute bull crap. The mom and pop shop gave us a $3,800 quote. So we're kind of looking at, you know.
Wait a minute.
Who gave you a what? A mom and pop shop that we trust gave us $3,800 quote.
So you've got two quotes and they're both in the same neighborhood?
Yes, exactly.
Okay.
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Chapter 8: What are practical financial steps during debt payoff and wealth building stages?
Is it wrong of me now that cars are more and more like just mobile iPhones? That there's a – as soon as you get outside the warranty, there's just a button you can push somewhere that just says – Blows up.
Dead.
A little conspiracy theory going, John?
I have – 2000 – hit the button. Just – Hit the button. We need some more business in here. The button I was going to push was call Jaguar and say, you guys are getting ready to get a whole bunch of bad press because I'm going to have 2,000 miles worth of $35,000 worth of fun on your butt for your car melting down right now.
right outside of warranty if y'all don't help me put an engine in this in some way you got to meet me halfway and help me out with this that's the other that's the other thing i told the guy to do because i mean seriously but hey there we go There we go. You never know. Plus, your car should need a new engine. I get if a part fails or a piece fails. He blew the engine. I don't know what he did.
But somehow the engine, I mean, I talked to him about it a while. He dropped a rod in it. It was blown. But a rod shouldn't be thrown too much. Hello. Perfect. Are you this piss poor at building engines? I mean, seriously, you know, I mean, that's what you get into. So anyway, yeah, I'm always, can you tell I have the gift of cynicism? So yeah, I'm always a little suspect of these things.
And I'm not saying mechanics are crooks. That's not it at all. But dealers, let me tell you, I do know this statistically. There's an interesting fact for you people. The square footage in the new car,
auto dealer that makes the most money for the auto dealer is the finance office they make more money on loaning you money than they do on by selling you a car the square footage that makes the second most money in the new car dealership is the shop the shop because the markup is Freaking retail and then some. That's right. And so they just make bank on it, man. It's that simple.
And you get 50 emails a week saying, hey, you need this, you need this, you need this. So you really get, if you're a car dealer and you understand your business, a new car dealer, you're in the car business not to sell cars but to sell financing and repairs. And oil changes, yeah.
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