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Chapter 1: How do I handle financial abuse in my family?
Yes, sir.
Hi, Brittany. How can we help?
Hi there, Dave. I was calling for some advice on how to handle a very financially abusive relationship regarding my mother and father.
Talk me through it.
Okay. The basics are my parents are still together and I'm in my 30s. It wouldn't be a big deal for me if it was just my mom and dad. But the problem lies with my parents raising the next generation. They actually raised my sister's twin daughters who are now 10. And I'm terrified that it's going to ruin their upbringing like it kind of did mine.
What's going on? What are they doing?
Um, my mother is financially reckless. I mean, for years, I mean, she did prison time for stealing from her employer when I was 16. Um, once she got out, she took out false loans in my name, my father's name, um, false grants through the state. And she's just been financially reckless on credit cards in her name and my dad's name. And it's just left them in financial ruin.
Wow. She's not only reckless, I mean, she's like a criminal.
She's a toxic human being, yeah.
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Chapter 2: Is bankruptcy the right choice for my business debt?
$7,250.
Yes, sir.
Okay. All right. And what kind of business is this or was it?
I sell cabinets and countertops.
Okay. All right. And so a merchant advance...
On what? Yes. So my, like, future revenue. Basically, I gave them my bank statements, and then they said, we'll give you this much. And it was like a daily payment. And last year in 2024, I had a very slow time, and it pretty much just took me for everything I had.
Yeah. That one got you. It was a payday lender of your world. Because the interest rate's also ridiculous, correct? Yes. Okay. And, um, so what method do they have access to your current checking account? Is that how they, they clean you out ever so often?
Um, they were, I've since put, um, like stop payments on them. And I'm actually, I was working with like a, or am technically still working with a consolidation agency, but that, that cost is like $1,200 a week, which I can,
Kind of do, but it's hard to manage that, and every time I miss a payment, they're threatening to cancel the program, and it's nonrefundable, and it's still another $28,000 I have to pay into it before they'll negotiate with them.
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Chapter 3: Why is communication key in business and personal relationships?
And so when you're always just holding it in or feeling like you know better and you only wish I could only just say, people that are in positions of power or positions of superiority, they will appreciate the more transparent, honest conversation every time rather than you trying to be
a wallflower and just be a yes man every time so you you have to be able to get out front of it and say what you need to say put it up put it out there yeah every every time or else you're really doing yourself a disservice yeah
Yeah, and I've noticed when we're teaching people leading financial peace university classes, for instance, that to hold someone accountable to a behavior that you're trying to get them to do for themselves, for their own benefit, I always tell them you have to have your arm around their shoulder before you can smack them in the back of the head.
I mean, there has to be a relationship before you can hold someone accountable.
Yes, yeah. I think that when you come at it from a position of making them feel good and close to you, Also being very firm. My dad would say this. I would come with him with something that I didn't like and I needed to vent. He'd say, well, that's fine. You don't have to like it, but you need to understand it. And it was this idea of you can connect with somebody and still be mad at them.
I can still love you and still be upset. And so he would always say, well, you don't have to. That's fine. You don't have to like it. You just need to understand it. And that allowed me, I mean, I didn't like it when I was young. I didn't feel that great. But now I'm seeing the wisdom in it, that he was allowing me the time to connect with him and truly be on the same page.
At the same time, say, oh, then the breaks. This is what it's going to be. You don't have to like it. It's fine. We're doing it. Yeah. You don't have to like it.
But you need to see why we're doing it. Exactly. And that made the difference. Yeah. If you get the why, then it helps. I'll go back to what you were talking about when we first turned on the microphone. You said an argument is a knot to be unraveled. And I think the first time as a hard-driving person I ever realized that the best negotiation is a win-win.
And so trying to find out what the other side needs to win, and there's a similarity to that, I think, the win-win negotiating versus win-lose negotiating to what you're talking about.
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Chapter 4: What should I do if my spouse and I disagree on finances?
Okay. How old is your Honda Accord, Nicole?
It's a 2022. Okay.
And how old is your F-150, Dan? It's a 2020. Okay. That's not too bad. Sometimes I have to tell millionaires to go buy a car because their car sucks so bad. But y'all did okay. I can see that. You got through this.
I can see that.
So, Nicole and Dan, when we talk to people who are concerned about their net worth and trying to build, you know, get to millionaire status, sometimes there's a negative connotation. Like for what? Talk to the person who is sitting there listening to this going, yeah, yeah, yeah, but so what?
Talk to them about the freedom you have when your husband comes home and says, oh my gosh, I just got this diagnosis. And y'all can exhale and say, then we're going to take some time off and just be together.
Yeah. Well, I'll tell you, we've been big fans of the Ramsey show and Dan went through financial peace when he was in the military. But we've only decided to call in now for that reason, because we did want to share that. I mean, you know, when we paid off our house a few years ago, that felt amazing.
And the freedom that we had then to really, you know, do some things that were a little more risky and, so that we could create even more wealth at that point was incredible. But it's kind of nothing compared to the freedom to say, okay, we know exactly where our money is. We know exactly what we need to have coming in every month. to be able to sustain ourselves.
And we don't have a bunch of debt hanging over our heads and big payments on things. We can actually choose to spend this time together and to fight this battle together. It wasn't even a second thought. We just made that decision and moved forward.
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Chapter 5: How do millionaires build their wealth?
Good cars. Good. Okay, that's about right. About right. Are you guys spending more time on TV or on books?
Oh, I would say more on TV, unfortunately, but we do do a lot of driving and trips together, and when we do drive, we listen to books on audio.
Gotcha. Okay, cool. Very cool. Do you think someone that's coming out of college with a civil engineering degree today can still do this?
Absolutely. What should they do? Absolutely. I'd say surround yourself with the right people and make sure you're on the same page as your spouse regarding money because I'm telling you right now, life gets real easy when you guys don't fight about money.
Wow. Good insight.
That may be the most profound moment of the show today.
That's a mic drop right there, just a one-liner, and it's just the real things there. Things get real easy when you don't fight about money. Just all right there. Life's pretty good when you don't fight about money. Yeah. And nothing left to fight about much. Yeah. Well done, Rob. Congratulations to you, Rob. Very proud of you. Mark is in Nashville. Mark, what's your net worth?
My net worth is $2.1 million, and then I have a business that's probably worth $400,000, so $2.1, I guess.
Okay. Give me a little breakdown by category. Retirement, real estate, whatever. Yep.
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