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The Ramsey Show

Big Life Changes Demand Bold Money Decisions

Wed, 05 Feb 2025

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πŸ“ˆΒ Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a Free Personalized Plan Rachel Cruze & Dr. John Delony answer your questions and discuss: "How do I tell my husband he needs to suck it up and get a better job?" "Should I pay off a rental property?" "I'm worried about my siblings depleting their portion of our inheritance," "My daughter claims that her classmates are spending $20/day for take-out lunches," "We're debt-free but living paycheck-to-paycheck," "Can I afford a luxury watch?" Support Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp β—Ž Get 10% off Byrna product bundles and more! πŸ₯ Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries 🏑 Get started today with Churchill Mortgage πŸ”’ Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe 🏦 Go to FAIRWINDS Credit Union for an exclusive account bundle! πŸ₯— Save 15% on your first Field of Greens order with code RAMSEY ⛨ Find top Health Insurance Plans at Health Trust Financial πŸ’Έ Learn more about opening a high-yield savings account with Laurel Road πŸ’» Visit NetSuite today to learn more πŸ—‚οΈ Use promo code RAMSEY for 18% off at The Nokbox πŸ’΅ Learn more about Timothy Plan πŸ› Get started with YRefy or call 844-2-RAMSEY πŸ” Visit Zander Insurance for your free instant quote today! Next Steps πŸ“±Β Watch the full episode for free in the Ramsey Network app. πŸ“ž Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET or click here! β˜‚οΈ Get trusted insurance coverage that fits your budget.Β  πŸ–οΈ For help with investing, get connected with a SmartVestor Pro.Β  πŸ’΅ Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! πŸͺ‘ Check out Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman! πŸ’ͺ Invest with confidence! Get tickets to Investing Essentials πŸ’Ό Connect with a RamseyTrusted tax pro for help with payroll and more Listen to more from Ramsey Network πŸŽ™οΈ The Ramsey Show Β  🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour πŸ’‘ The Rachel Cruze Show πŸ’Έ The Ramsey Show Highlights πŸ’° George Kamel πŸͺ‘ Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman πŸ“ˆ EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions is a paid, non-client promoter of SmartVestor Pros. Learn more about your ad choices.Β https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Chapter 1: What are the challenges of discussing financial changes with a spouse?

31.765 - 52.339 Rachel Cruze

My good friend, John Deloney. So we are answering your questions about your life, your relationships, your money. So give us a call at 888-825-5225, and we are here for you. All right, starting us off this hour is Holly in Portland, Oregon. Hey, Holly. Welcome to the show. Hi. Hello, hello.

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52.52 - 53 Dr. John Deloney

What's up?

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54.521 - 60.245 Holly

Hi. I have a difficult question, and I'm really glad that I get to talk to both of you about it.

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61.425 - 61.886 Rachel Cruze

Absolutely.

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62.066 - 62.426 Dr. John Deloney

Let it rip.

63.607 - 80.111 Holly

Okay. I have to have a really hard conversation with my husband. I have to basically tell him in a loving way that I really don't care what his dreams and aspirations are, that I really just need him to get a better job.

80.131 - 89.766 Dr. John Deloney

Oh, fantastic. This is incredible. Okay. Okay, dig in. I don't care. Like, this is a wife that's at the end of her rope.

89.786 - 92.348 Rachel Cruze

She's really resolved. That's all I'm going to say. Holly knows. I love it.

92.408 - 98.733 Dr. John Deloney

This is a wife at the end of her rope. I don't care what your stupid dreams are. I don't care when you think the Avon sales are going to finally come through.

Chapter 2: Should I pay off my rental property or save for a primary residence?

389.581 - 408.749 Dr. John Deloney

That's where you start. That right there is the most honest statement. Because that's different than you called in saying, and again, I'm with you, not at you, okay? But that's you calling in saying, I have to tell my husband I don't care about his dreams and his whatever. He's got to get another job. That's different than you saying, hey, honey, we're about to face a math problem.

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408.929 - 411.37 Dr. John Deloney

And me, as a stay-at-home mom of six, I'm terrified.

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412.23 - 426.297 Holly

Well, I tried to have that conversation and he's like, well, maybe I want to be a teacher, which means he has to go back to school. And then if you look at the salary that it's starting pay for teachers in our state.

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426.597 - 435.922 Dr. John Deloney

Yeah, you know, y'all make like this sounds awful, but y'all made choices to have six to create six humans. So that means you can't afford to make $42,000. That's that's the trend.

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436.662 - 438.023 Holly

Yeah.

438.123 - 439.484 Dr. John Deloney

And or live in Portland, right?

440.436 - 448.3 Holly

Right. Well, we live outside of Portland in a much cheaper area, but he thinks we can make up the gaps with the side hustles, which we've been doing.

448.82 - 452.442 Dr. John Deloney

But y'all aren't going to be able to do side hustles anymore. You're out.

453.905 - 460.868 Rachel Cruze

Yeah, and the side hustle world is for a season. It's not ongoing to support a seven-person family.

Chapter 3: How can I manage family expectations regarding inheritance?

842.428 - 848.772 Rachel Cruze

And how much will you guys be making combined household income after you get married?

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850.434 - 862.645 Dave Ramsey

The problem is I work in sales. Pretty much all of my income comes from commission. So that's Kind of speculative, but I'm going to say somewhere in between $120,000 to $140,000.

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862.805 - 864.746 Rachel Cruze

Okay, and what will she be doing?

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867.648 - 868.228 Christian

Good question.

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870.509 - 871.21 Dave Ramsey

You should find out.

871.23 - 872.771 Dr. John Deloney

You're getting married in 56 days, dude.

873.191 - 875.172 Rachel Cruze

Is she going to school or will she be working?

876.913 - 884.458 Dave Ramsey

She was going to school. She stopped because she realized the degree she was going to was probably not worth it, but she is working right now.

884.478 - 909.057 Rachel Cruze

Okay, how much do you think she'll bring home? probably around 40,000 okay okay so you guys are at 180 um oh I meant I meant 140 combined I'm sorry oh okay okay together you guys we okay I'm sorry I got you um and the rental property how tell me that about that was that you and your dad together doing that or was that is that just under your name

Chapter 4: How do I explain financial priorities to my teenager?

1307.966 - 1310.147 Rachel Cruze

Well done, Dan. Congratulations.

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1311.427 - 1341.485 Dan

Trying to spread the word, you know. But so I'm working on brevity here. So So there's four of us kids. I'm the oldest of 68. The youngest is, uh, 60, 61. And, uh, number two is my sister and she's, um, the administrator, the trustee of the estate. And so my mother's 95 and when she passes, we all received between a half a million and 750,000. Um, so yeah, you know, life changing money. Um,

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1346.244 - 1356.412 Dan

You know, my wife and I are both debt-free. I mean, literally no debt. Dave would laugh if he heard that my truck has 300,000 miles on it. You'd tell him to go get a new truck, Dan.

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1356.592 - 1357.833 Rachel Cruze

He would. Go get a new truck, Dan.

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1357.853 - 1359.174 Dr. John Deloney

I'm telling you, go get a new truck, Dan.

1361.135 - 1389.526 Dan

Thanks, guys. I'm kind of in love with this thing. So the problem is the two youngest ones have asked my mother for money before over the years. Um, both a little bit over a hundred thousand and, um, one, one of, uh, one of them, number three has a $900 car payment, $2,400 a month apartment payment, about 160,000 credit card debt.

1389.786 - 1412.882 Dan

And even though she makes six figures cannot, you know, emotionally control her spending. Um, the youngest one, we inherited about a hundred grand from my father some 10 years ago. And, I said, if you blow this money, I'm going to punch you in the nose. And six months later, he had a quad and a snowmobile and didn't pay off his house. You know, he's been bankrupt. And, um, did you hit him?

1412.942 - 1434.137 Dan

Just kidding. No, no, you know, the problem is, is, um, I'm not too worried about it. My, my, I've been working since I was 13 and my sister's a hard worker too. But, um, the problem is, is, she's worried they're going to come to the door, you know, when they're 70 or 80 begging for money, you have money, I have no money.

1434.898 - 1460.471 Dan

And we're trying to figure out how to handle the coming, basically tsunami of what they're going to bring to the table. Now the trust comes in two parts, the one trust, everybody gets an equal share right away. And then the second trust, um, my sister and I both get our share, but, Those two, my mother broke it up so that it's like five years apart, something like that.

Chapter 5: What is the impact of sponsors on The Ramsey Show?

1521.308 - 1528.693 Dr. John Deloney

But here's what's hard. If you live like that right now, what you're doing is you're not mitigating the guilt in the future. You're just spoiling today.

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1530.134 - 1531.275 Dan

You're absolutely right.

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1531.395 - 1538.962 Dr. John Deloney

And so I'm going to choose for peace and joy and warmth and laughter in the right now, and I'm going to be very clear about my boundaries moving forward.

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1541.101 - 1564.621 Dr. John Deloney

right and so the the harder conversation will be sitting down with your brother and sister who are adults who could have never like they could care less what you have to teach them they think like i'm sure they're when they get coffee together they're talking about you got you and your sister all they do is work and they never whatever is is saying hey here's the distribution um there there's don't come for up to us

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1566.661 - 1568.222 Dr. John Deloney

Right. Or you and your wife.

1568.302 - 1571.344 Rachel Cruze

And you're saying just saying it out loud when you guys make sure you put.

1571.404 - 1579.268 Dr. John Deloney

Yes. I heard Becky Kennedy say this. Dr. Kennedy say this. And I loved it. She said a boundary is something that requires nothing from anyone else other than you.

1580.771 - 1582.131 Dan

Wow. That is awesome.

1582.431 - 1600.356 Dr. John Deloney

So you're going to set this boundary. We're all going to be clear. There's no more money after this. And if you as a loving brother want to say, I'll hook you up with the Ramsey solutions. I'll hook you up with the plan that set me and my wife free. Y'all want that? Great. I'm not going to preach to you. I need everybody. It needs to be on record that y'all are getting a check for $750,000.

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