Jessica
π€ PersonPodcast Appearances
Okay, Landon, look.
Okay, different how?
It's like having the upper bunk. But you're basically still living with her, though.
A slide? Are we going to put a slide in? It's going to take two years? I mean, that's not even different. It's like the same thing that you were doing before. I mean, okay.
Yeah, but you did that on purpose. You put your social security number online because, oh, my God, you'd think it'd be so funny if somebody stole it and realized that you didn't have any money. Like, what was that?
I appreciate the sentiment and thank you for reaching out, but no, Landon. No, I don't want to live with your mom. I'm sorry.
That's none of your business. I'm single.
I don't know. I'm not seeing anybody right now, but I plan on it, yes.
I will let you know that.
Landon, like in all seriousness, you have way, way, way more growth that you need to go through personally, and I support you. I hope you do. But before we ever have any type of conversation ever, and it's going to be more than six weeks or six months.
He's not going to do that? Yeah, I don't know about that.
Thanks for being on the show with us. Yeah. Hi. Not going to lie. I'm a little bit caught off guard. But what's up? What's going on?
Okay, well, I mean, like, why do you have the radio station calling me?
No one else is here. No one's listening. Yeah, we're not laughing. I don't even know. Like, is this on air with, like, viewers? Like, come on.
You're just jumping straight to it. Skip the middle? What does that even mean?
Maybe talk to her about, like... Shh, don't interview. Let them work it out. You want us to get back together?
I actually love soccer, and I love hiking, and I speak a little French.
I want to hear something from Dustin. And depending on what he says, maybe I'll say yes.
Out of all those Jessica's,
After two years, bro, you need a break, honestly.
Yeah. Who's this? Hey, she's so cute.
I'm sorry. What? What is this?
Okay. Hi.
Okay. I didn't blow anyone off. What?
I'm not trying to blow him off. I just don't know what to do. Oh, okay. Well, I think it's pretty simple.
No, I mean, like, I don't know how much he told you or what you know, but... I actually matched with Dustin a year and a half ago. What?
He said that you guys just met on the app and that you... Yeah, so when I got a text from him like a week ago, I was kind of confused because I was like, this is weird. It's kind of out of the blue, but I was just like, oh, whatever. And I was just like, long time no chat.
Right. It was just a year and a half ago. You never replied to one of my texts. And then all of a sudden I get a text from him. And then you guys went to pizza.
Right. We got pizza, and I was kind of like, I wonder why all of a sudden he wants to talk to me now, but I was like, I remember he and I got along really well on Bumble, and so I was just like, yeah, sure, let's get pizza.
But it has to be the same person. He kept talking about Pilates and how, like, He kept asking about it, and I was like, I don't have that in my bio.
But then I was like, oh, my gosh, Jessica is a really common name. And I was thinking about it and I was like, oh, shoot.
Yeah, I mean, like, it could have been another Jessica from Bumble. Wait, wait, wait, though.
Did you have fun with him? I did. Yeah. No, I had a lot of fun with them.
Yeah. I mean, honestly, I didn't know what to say. I was kind of embarrassed, but like we were really enjoying ourselves.
Yeah. He knows everything. What? Oh, my gosh.
How many Jessica's have you been talking to? I don't know.
Yeah, when you kept bringing up Pilates, I was like, why did he keep bringing this up? Like, did you want to see him move? I wasn't sure what you're talking about.
That's you. That is such a cryptic message that it used to belong to a kid who was about my age who didn't live here anymore.
I, it is, it's just you calling your mom to make it better. I needed clarification that it wasn't a big deal. It backfired immediately. All right.
I don't know. I kind of just wanted it to be a weird torture thing.
Time- time out! Time out, I say! Time out! Please, God! Hold on, hold on. My word! What is-
We play games, watch movies, and go fire camping in the middle of the woods. Come to my house. What?
Yeah, but at least she's your wife, dude. Do I have a goddamn demon in my room right now? I'm freaking out.
I'm so lost in this stuff. Is this gonna be about a giant fucking chicken, dude? What are we doing here? If this turns into a giant rooster, I am gonna be so pissed.
That's what happened earlier. Why don't you find out? We're going to find.
No! Look at yourself! You have a large gash in your left cheek.
OH MY GOD, THAT'S AWESOME. OH GOD. I LIKE HOW EILISH JACK...
There's no way. There's blood all over the ground.
Don't lie! Who's painting those beautiful pictures?
He's like, I'll be back in two shakes.
What is going on? Oh my God. Was this Twitter ARG written by a big mouth writer?
Oh my God. Oh God. This is John Mulaney. Oh God.
I guess I can't have friends. I guess I can't have friends.
It's glue. Don't leave me baby. Total one 80. I fucking love you. It's just the middle of the night.
Or you eat me like a bug. there's no there's no emergency about it exactly so are you gonna just look at me give me like a bug is that gonna happen or not
You're going to eat me all the way up. I was tasty before, but not now.
i guess the rules are homeless so who the hell is that guy i don't like it and i'm really really trying not to be
Oh, I'm so tired. Oh, God, I'm tired.
Thinking an Oakland Raiders hat and a nice pair of glasses.
I should wait until you play the game again.
Should I wait until you play the game again?
That's messy. More structured. Fun. Fun? Yes. Tradition.
It is amusing to see what you think of me.
A job? Yeah, when are you going to move out of this damn house?
Of course, of course, Jessica's taking back shots from Slenderman, dude.
Oh, God. What is that? It's horrible. It's horrible.
I just don't know why he's being so coy.
All in due time. Come on, dude. I was laughing when he's like, so what are you? He's got like a duster on that's like flowing in the way. I'm a motherfucking angel.
That's your girlfriend. I get high with my baby, y'all. That's your girlfriend's mom, Cheryl. Yo, Kimber's dad, the food here is kind of mint, bro.
I want to listen to music. Yeah, there you go. Exactly. What? I'm bored. I'm bored.
I'm a little girl. I'm a little girl. It's all your different characters crumbling in on each other.
I can't believe my only human, my only friend, Josh, is getting beaten up by some stranger in his house. My only friend next to my tiny kitty cat. It's like, don't put them on the same level, dude.
What? I can't hear you. Hold up. I'm going to scream really loud.
I'm going. I'm getting a Baja Blast.
Dude, there was no way for me to do that.
You think I don't say that? Especially this being in my mind's eye, a very Lovecraftian thing for him to say. Dad's upset.
Hey guys, it's Jess from the Gold Coast. I love the pod. What I fucking had it with is I work in Coles, which is like one of the major supermarkets in Australia. And I fucking had it with old men wearing MAGA hats relentlessly into the store.
But I'd like to inform you guys, and I hope this brings you as much joy as it brings me, that every time one of these MAGA hat wearers enter the store, it becomes my personal mission to make their experience the absolute worst I can provide.
whether that's death stares, providing the wrong instructions to find products, parking my trolley that I online shop for in front of something they're trying to grab in the shelf. I am just rude and unpleasant because my motto is, if you are proudly not caring about anyone else but yourself, why should I care about you? Thanks, guys. It's a great point.
She is a walking dictionary, and every time she teaches me a new word, I instantly begin incorporating it to my daily vernacular.
That is a huge compliment. That's really nice. Okay, we're gonna do one more. And there's a theme to this. Hello, my beautiful ladies. I'm a lesbian from the quote, great state of Tennessee. And I'm writing this review to get you to your goal of 12,000. Because in Trump's America, we must band together to achieve every single frivolous, petty goal we can.
And if it pisses them off, and that's all the better. I have an insane crush on both of you, but especially Jen. Thanks for keeping me sane in this crazy time. Love you all. Never stop being who you are. It means more than you will ever know.
Okay. I thought we could keep it going with a couple of listener voice memos. So up first, we've got Ben. Ben.
I want to know who started this lie. I'm going to call them and I'm going to say I'm from the sheriff's department. I have this information.
I love that. All right, last one, Kylie. Okay, the last one we've got is Nathan.
I have two reviews that I need to read to you. This one is five stars, and they write, Aside from the best therapy session around airing our petty grievances together, of which I could author a novel, and as much as I love Meemaw and Kathy, what really sets this pod apart is Jessica Lemon's vocabulary. Okay. Truly top-notch, undefeated.
Seriously, I hope Kamala Harris left behind some dresses, heels, and makeup in the VP office so J.D. can still play dress-up, as we all know he is dying to do. On a more serious note, this podcast, along with iHip News, really does make my day. especially since I also have to deal with my triple trumper dad who is convinced the convicted felon will make good decisions for this country.
I am so thankful for this podcast and for Jen and Pumps. Thank you for always providing me with laughter and entertainment in these uncertain times. Love you guys. Please keep it up.
I don't. Lesbian parts of the earth are we're renewing passports. Getting ready if we have to run. Oh, my gosh. You know?
All right. Up next, we've got Kirby.
All right, next. Okay, up next we've got Holly.
All right, the last one is from Kendall.
I've got two reviews for you. OK, this one is five stars from Millennial Matthew. And he says, I've had it with trying to leave a review. This is an absolute testament to how much I love you all and this podcast because this is now the fourth review I've written. As for reasons unknown to me, Apple refuses to accept my last three. Perhaps my colorful language had something to do with it.
Anyway, this podcast is amazing and I have never missed an episode. Listen... Listening to Jessica and Pump's rant about whatever is bothering them this episode is the highlight of my Tuesdays and Thursdays. In fact, I'm not sure what it says about me as a gay man, but part of me really wishes I could send Jen a Stanley just to be able to appreciate the tongue lashing she would give me.
Thank you all for being a bright spot in an otherwise bleak period. Much love from a longtime listener and forever gaytriot, Kaka.
Absolutely. Okay. Okay, this one is five stars from Isabella, titled Thank God for this podcast. And she writes, As a 20-year-old blue dot in the increasingly red state of Ohio, you guys get me through this disaster we're living in. And I must add that J.D. Vance, the drag queen wannabe, is an absolute embarrassment to my state.
Hey, booze. You know, I just want to give you a shout out because y'all are amazing. I wish that y'all had been around the whole time I lived in Oklahoma. Y'all are such role models and I want to be both of y'all combined when I grow up. But I just want to tell you what I've had it with. I fucking had it with the pleasantries.
I'm sick and tired of hearing people say, oh, no, this Democrat said a bad, naughty word. Well, fuck that shit. We've been dealing with this shit for years. You know, I'm an empath. So, like, I try to be a nice person. This is why I'm with the Democrat Party. You know, we love everybody. We want everybody to be included. But obviously the nice guy routine isn't working for us. We need the bad cop.
profile to step in charge because I fucking had it like all these stupid fucking names coming from the right, like the sleepy Joe, you know, negative Nancy or whatever the fuck they want to come up with. It's so fucking juvenile and I'm sick and tired of just like rolling over, turning in the other cheek. Girl, I'm not religious. I'm just throwing that out there.
But hypocritical for the Christians and whatever is going on. But I'm so sick and tired of being the nice guy.
Hey, ladies, I love you so much. Calling out here from the middle of Indiana, blue dot and a red state. OK, I have the best idea for you, period. You know how you have retaken the eagle and we all appreciate that so much. And Pumps does her famous cuckoo, cuckoo, which I do with her every time. OK, so I think you need to switch it from cuckoo.
to a nice fuck off like this fuck off fuck off oh my gosh what do you think I think it's a great idea um I love you guys so much I live for you um I'm obsessed with you and thank you for everything you do
The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
I'm not home right now.
Well, The editing and talent would have short hair and then long hair. Or like I was like 10 pounds heavier in one scene and the next scene I was like back to like being like thinner again. It's like it was I feel like for me like that I think our storyline with Jason really did me dirty. Yeah. Like like I was really stealing her boyfriend out like especially the winter formal.
They were not together.
No, you guys had gone back together. I had asked him before and he said yes.
Remember, I was like, enjoy. I actually think we might have filmed a scene where like I did ask like, hey, Jess, called you. Hey, like I'm totally fine going with Jake or whoever it was. Like, so you and Jason can go together. And you're like, no, it's totally cool. And I was like, Jason, go with Jessica. And he's like, it's fine. Like, we're all going to be together.
So I feel like the.
I feel like it really made me look like I was like the aggressor and like really trying to steal Jason away from Jessica, which was like just time pieces edited when there was never a cheat. Like he never cheated on Jessica. I remember. What is it? Yeah. Never cheated on Jessica. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And that was never the reason why they broke up or the time periods were so far. Yeah.
Well, I think me and Jason dating in general was that. It was like, oh, you guys have been friends for so long. Let's go. Do you guys want to go to dinner? That's why it's so awkward in those moments. I know. Like, oh, I like your face. Oh, yeah.
It was so funny.
It was so rude. And I also think like, I don't think people realize, like, how close we were. I know. Yeah. That's so missed. That, like, it was never, like, everyone's like, oh, you're friends with, like, Whozie and Kristen. I was like, we were, like, best friends.
That whole part of the show. But I get it. Because, like, it needed to be divided. Yeah. To have storylines, I guess.
Bumping around.
Just like the people watching. So good. And the music. Yeah. It's so fun. And it just gets better as the drinks roll in. It's weird how that works.
I think that's, like, why we were, like, felt separated. Because they wanted, like, the three of you to film. And then they wanted me, Taylor, and Morgan to film. So it was, like, filming-wise, like, we were never together because they needed those. But then we were all friends on the back end. Yeah. But, like, I really thought that I was going to be, like, the funny girl on the show. Oh, my gosh.
I love that so much. I was like, I thought it was so funny. And then I would get the tapes and I would go, why? I'm like, I'm the mean girl? I know. What? I was like, I was just trying to be myself. That's how you really are. No, I'm just kidding. No. I was like, maybe I need to do self-reflection here.
boyfriends that were kind of friends like that period of time but they also could drive so they could give us rides everywhere I just had a memory pop in my head sorry Jess I don't think you were in this one but do you guys remember we would all get dressed at my house and we'd wear like these big old heels like the platform so I lived at like top of the world which like people don't know it's like
like the canyon is like right beneath you so we would do you remember we'd walk the fire road and we'd like party up yeah and in our little heels we're like and it was like we'd like sneak out and it was like pitch black dark on a mile long canyon road to go meet up with
I just remember like clickety clack of our heels going down like the steep.
And like walk in the door with like two hours of sleep. Right.
Kristen like didn't have pajamas. We had to like.
Oh my God. Phone line. So like, like, which was like so dumb of my parents. I'm like, that was such a big deal. But it was like my line. Yeah. So we give it all to the parents. Oh my gosh. They're like, leave your parents number.
But it was so much fun. It was so much fun. Like when people say that, like they don't like their high school moments. Like I feel sad for them because I feel like we had so much fun. We really did it right. We lived it up. We peaked in high school. We are still talking about it 20 years later.
We would like they would like throw cake parties in the canyon. Yeah. We're like, yeah, we would like go through the clickety clacks. We're just saying like we like go through the bushes and like rocks and boulders. And like there's probably like five a pack of coyotes over there. We're like, oh, let's get a beer. Like there was like no place. There was no place. That's where we would go.
Miles away. It's over here. There's a lot of cars coming in. Oh, my God. Or, like, I remember I would, like, take out my mom's car before we could drive. But then, do you remember this?
And you took out her car. Oh, yeah. I remember when I cried. Like, I crashed it picking up Bailey. It was like a Mercedes, right? I was in the car with you. Okay. It was like, beep, beep, beep, beep. Crash. Oh, no. This is, like, forever going to haunt me. But, like, so we go to pick up Bailey in Hoosie. And my mom was out of town. It was, like, her brand new X5. Oh, no. Don't have my license.
That was so scary. Go to Pelican, Newport Coast. And Mikayla was with us. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, this is the house. And I like thought it wasn't. I was like, ha ha. Wrong house, Mikayla. That's the wrong house.
No, I was like, yeah, that's the house, Mikayla. Like, ha, no, it's not. I was like, I'm going to reverse because it's the wrong house. And I like, my karma, bam, like right into like some tiny car. And I panicked and I tried to go back into a drive, still in reverse mode. Do it again. No. Yeah. Fully hit it again.
Sorry. No. Keep going, Mikayla. They run in the car. And, like, in the gated community, always bring down your license plate.
No one was in there. It was a parked car.
And we look at my mom's car. Not a not a fucking scratch. I was like, oh, like my mom was so scary in high school. Like my dad was cool, but my mom was scary. And I was like, OK, they got back home. No one talked about it. No one called about the license plate. I thought it was in the clear. Well, the fucking neighbor. No, no neighbors, man.
And I like, oh my God, I think I was grounded for the summer.
Yes. Wait, that's a good idea. Oh, yeah. To make sure. Yes. That is funny. Because she was going back and forth. Oh my God. That's actually genius. Yeah, that is a really good idea.
Yeah, it was like a thing. I don't know why we were so ballsy.
We thought we were so smart. Do you remember us driving? It was us three. Sorry, Jess. Listen, I was a really good girl, okay? I went to bed at 830.
Oh, in senior year. I think it was. Senior year? Yeah. Sam? It's got to be first.
Oh, you did?
Little sweet Sam's not so sweet. Fucking dick.
Well, he lives in New York, so I don't think he's going there.
Okay, but edit that out because I feel bad.
I went.
Tell us about it.
Will the 20 year be better?
No, I'm counting down. I can't wait.
Do you think that's, like, maybe it's my perception, but I feel like it's obvious to everybody? I think so, too. Well, nowadays, for sure. Well, there's so much out there.
I couldn't watch the hills when it was on before it was on. No, no. Or before I was on it. Yeah. Because we knew what they were doing so specifically, too. Yeah, right. I mean, I didn't realize how much more, like,
Well, if not, I'll do it.
Yeah. Well said.
I feel like our relationship was, like, like, I feel like it was hard. Yeah, for sure. Especially, like, because we were so close and then they divided us. Right. So it was, like, naturally. Your voice. Sorry, guys. You're crying. You're crying.
Yeah. There was definitely a separation in groups. For sure. Versus us all being like, what?
Do you guys remember how fun that photo shoot was?
There's so many good moments. Oh, yeah.
Right? It just makes me so happy. Like, no time has passed. Yeah, for sure. I feel like the last time, like, we all obviously hung out was for the Uncommon James shoot. Yeah. And it's like, we all get back together and it's like, okay, right back where we started.
Almost a year and a half. Yeah.
growing up in a small town small high school we all have like even people that weren't on the show very special bond I agree completely yeah there's something really special about Laguna Beach for sure well I'll see you guys at the reunion I'm counting down the days I say we four planets
Oh my gosh.
awkward and you're like I can't believe that's out there forever at our young age but it's like look at us now we're still like embracing the experience you had like the best like one liners you were so funny you and Talon both like just like the things that would come out of your mouth like now as an adult I'm like That was like so witty. I know. So smart and funny.
Like wherever you're saying the dumbest shit imaginable and you're hilarious.
what about you I mean I I feel like it's a mixed bag of emotions it's like yeah I'm so grateful and then like I'm haunted by like by you know like obviously like little moments or a big moment like but it's overall like wonderful.
We would totally do it again.
There's something really sweet about the show because we're so bombarded with reality shows now that like because it was that first of its kind movement like
that will never happen again ever and like it was very much real in the sense of like yeah we had to like have set up times to go talk but like we like there was nothing to know what we were doing so it was like yeah we're gonna talk about that person like there was no wrong real there was no like forward thinking of like what our future would be after so like we weren't motivated by what was gonna come
If someone could record me like doing appearances at 18. Oh God. I don't even like I have locked that out of my memory forever.
We were. We were.
No, that's true.
It was like going from high school to like a college like experience. And now you're. The college of Hollywood. Yeah. There you go.
I mean, we can all look at me for that one. And mine definitely was the cop out and Jessica situation. When you guys got in a fight. I just feel like it's now having kids too. Like, oh, like my heart and my gut is like, I just would never want anyone to talk
that way or be but again it's high school and you do catty things and you're girls but like to have that like live forever and then not only that but I like loved Jessica too it was like we weren't like best friends like senior year but like we definitely were friends in some moments listen we've been sharing a bed all weekend okay like we're good you know things are fine we've been fine since that happened we were fine after the show aired we would like we would still be great we were still great friends
Yeah.
It wasn't a shiny moment.
right and we got into a lot of trouble like that was a normal but it totally that was a normal thing to do it wasn't like we just did that right out of the blue right like the partying was just like like that in laguna that's what we did it was like also a very hippie community so i feel like that also played like a big role versus like some of the other towns next door it's like parents are very much like like you know it kind of involved like knew what we were doing and like it was okay like
That's true. They were kind of doing it too.
Never. And you obviously can tell by my lovely raspy voice that this was a good weekend. It was a good time. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Sorry, Demi.
Oh!
Yeah. Oh.
Yeah.
Shout out to them.
Hmm.
Yeah.
And they're like, yeah, sure.
No idea what's going on, but listen to this.
Telepathy is real. Family vlogger horror movies. The lost library of Nineveh containing secrets from the Watchers.
Stick them on your car or your big old hat. Stickers!
She said nothing.
I'm the storyline!
No, I don't care.
weather's fake it's all a lie hey look baby ducks just hatched let's not get caught up in that springtime is here the world feels bright the day stretched long the heart feels light no time for fear no time for doubt let's just ignore what's really going down It's really going down.
Talk about more stuff.
Love you. Bye. Love you. See you later. Bye.
But wait, look a lemonade stand No need to dig deep, my friend Springtime is here, the world feels bright Days stretch long, the heart feels light No time for fear, no time for doubt Let's just ignore what's really going down Oh! Oh! Then he's going down!
Wow!
And I like that.
Other adult children.
Hi, Charlie. It's so good to talk to you. Actually, I'm interested in moving up in law enforcement. Like I said in my question, I opted out of going to college because of financial situations in my family. And I also didn't want to put myself in debt, not knowing exactly where I wanted to be in my life. I am interested in going into the U.S. Marshal Service.
And when looking into the requirements of getting hired on there, they do require a degree. a law enforcement degree or an extended amount of experience required. It doesn't specify, but my assumption would be five to 10 years in the field. So I've kind of been set back a little bit because I broke my back last year. And so I was not able to take a field position.
So I am still in the detention center. And I'm just curious to see what you would think if it would be worth it for me to go to an online university and get the degree in order to bump my chances of getting that job or if I should just stick to it and, you know, spend the extra time getting the experience and potentially getting it that way.
I want to make a difference. I want to make a bigger difference. I actually the department that I work for has a lot of martial contracts. So we do work with the marshals, not myself directly, but the people at my department do and we hold a lot of martial inmates.
And I think that I could make a much better impact in some of these people's lives and help, you know, help them become better members of society when they get out. If I'm in a higher position. And that's my goal in law enforcement. It's not for power or anything.
I want to genuinely help people and I want people to become better, better themselves and get back into society as good, hardworking Americans.
Thank you so much. I actually had one more question, if that's OK.
My other question is I'm just I'm kind of torn on this, but I'm curious to hear your opinion. Do you believe that men and women should be held to the same mental and physical standards when it comes to law enforcement? Yes, because we are expected to absolutely the same tasks.
Okay, perfect. Thank you so much. God bless you.
I'm a little bit torn. I know just being in the industry... I would have to work a lot harder to meet the same standards as men. And I do not agree with lowering standards for everybody to be able to meet them. But I do believe that women should have to work a little bit harder because when it comes down to certain things, people's lives depend on us.
And I do believe that we shouldn't be held to a lower standard than men because we need to be able to help people to the same degree.
Thank you so much.
I'm Jessica, I'm 28 years old, and I'm from Surrey.
My love life is a total shambles. I've been on about 50 dates, and all of them, quite frankly, were a disaster. I've been lied to. I've been catfished. I've been ghosted. I've been cheated on.
I'm the girl on the sofa with a glass of red wine singing all by myself.
And I'm the real life Bridget Jones.
A pair of buns in the oven. It would be nice to find a man that can beat the batter. My friends and my sister would love me to meet someone.
Oh, here we go. I like a little bit of a purr. I might have a little bit of a gawp. This little face isn't so innocent. I want to meet a man naked.
I need to open up my life and let a man in. Okay, let's get to the goods.
I just meet idiots. Yeah, Bridget Jones.
Clearly a Samantha Jones. Sex and sissy. So why choose a date naked? I love being naked. I'm really comfortable in my own skin. A little bit try before you buy, I think, as well. Fair enough.
I'm going to go look at blue first, I think. Oh, my God. It gives me a little bit of a wiggle.
I don't like anything that's too big. Okay. Once I did anal.
And he went straight in and spit me. Oh, Jesus Christ. What is happening?
Yeah. Framed. I had to go to the hospital. What did they do? They had to glue me slightly back together. They glued you?
Sometimes it looks a little bit tidier. If you expect me to be tidy, I expect you to be tidy.
across to orange yeah he's got quite strong legs I don't like someone who's got two bigger legs because I like to be on top so you like to struggle a boy yeah so you can't have legs that are too big no because then my hip goes sometimes and get a bit cramped your hips go as well yeah this girl's a mess I mean I guess we have to remember that this girl did choose to come on Naked Attraction and Brian still can't get the name of the show right
Dating naked. Red. Not a bad-sized penis. Yeah. Oh, his legs.
He's got like a tattoo-y type thing.
Yeah. What about yellow? It's nice. It's a nice size. It's a good size, yes. It's like Cinderella's shoe, you know? It's like a big, big shoe. Yeah. Oh, what was it on there? It's quite pink. It's got good balls. It's quite solid. Solid balls. Solid balls. I would love to see.
Oh, my God. This show is wrong in every way. I know. Helicopter. Because I think that's really funny.
Oh, fair enough. I could be completely wrong.
Look at Orange. Wow. Do you like his chest? Yes. He's got that nice little V line. He's definitely got the V line going on, doesn't he? Yeah, he has.
Go to yellow. So you're liking sort of abs or do you want a dad bodge? I don't mind a little bit of a dad bodge. I'm not a gym fanatic. I want it to be an even balance. Like when someone looks at me, I want it to go red.
I want a hansiou still and vice versa.
Have a good bod. He looks like a swimmer. Yeah. Do you swim? No. No. Do you play sport? Yes. Do you play basketball? No. Rowing? Rowing.
Yeah. Let's speak to Pink.
He's got quite a good stance about him. You're talking about the arms. Is there any other reason why you like a boy with strong arms? Well, I like to bake. Oh.
Well, I like to bake.
You've got strong arms.
Bridget Jones. OK. And we need to bring out Samantha Jones in me again. Oh, crikey. Is the world ready? Yes.
And now it's the whole package. Yellow looks a bit cheeky.
Oh, yellow. Cheeky. He is. He looks like he's got kind eyes. I've got a bit of a flutter there.
Orange. Oh, you have a lovely smile. Handsome boy. There's a little something about him. Except for the gigantic deer.
Green. You said green.
Have you seen his body? I know. You just look a bit innocent to me. I feel like I might eat you alive.
Hey, hello. Oh, you look like a bit of a prince charming.
Watch the voice. Are you northern slightly?
He's from Warrington. Oh, okay.
What accent have you got?
I'm going to say goodbye to the light. Yeah, you were right.
A bit cheeky. She keeps talking about him being cheeky. How are you feeling about that?
So when Bradley said I had a really nice bum as well, I was like, oh, OK, I've still got a J-note.
First impressions. Bradley's dressed really well.
My usual type, but he does sit really good.
Am I your usual type?
Bombs, man. I feel like Samantha Jones is coming out. I think the flirtatious side is coming out a little bit more. I feel like Bridget is slowly going back in her box. What's the silliest thing you've ever done? When drunk?
Do you like being naked?
I'm the same. Well, again, you would have to.
I like saying fancy. Yeah, I like fancy. I fancy that person. I'm so rubbish.
I think the date's gone really well. He wants to exchange numbers, so we shall just see.
It's hard. I can't do it all by myself.
The other day I was watching Only Murders in the Building and I saw you in an episode and it reminded me of, I think it was either Greg Cody or Stu Gott saying Martin Short and Steve Martin were both overrated as comics. So I wanted to ask your opinion as someone who's in their sort of like career renaissance show right now.
I'm in tummy ache city right now. Can you... The itch?
Why do I have heartburn?
A bag of deluxe mixed nuts.
I don't know.
What kind of curse did Nick Wright put on me?
I'm blaming Stugatz for getting me sick. Where's Stugatz? Heartburn is always the first sign I'm getting sick.
You told us this morning you were sick.
Why are you here?
Oh, you would like it, I feel like. It's funny.
What's your guys' favorite nut? Almond, cashew, or shower?
I'm addicted to them. That's probably why I have heartburn. I've eaten probably 6,000 macadamia nuts this week.
But it's healthy fat, right?
That's a legume.
Is it? Yes, it is. We normally do top fives around here, Dan.
Pecan. It was pecan.
Honestly, I laughed so hard, I feel better now. My heartburn kind of went away.
Yeah, I was going to go a shower.
So you think Dan's projecting right now?
We had fun this summer. I mean, you were there, weren't you?
I think some people make choices in their lives and their careers that they actually feel satisfied and confident by. And those aren't interesting to talk about on a show. I agree with that. But he's probably doing fine. He's got a great, happy family from what we can tell. Seems like a happy guy.
I was talking about Jason Kelsey.
To be honest, Dan, I can't really get inside Tyreek Hill's head.
He was thought of so highly when he left the Chiefs that you guys were like, oh, the Dolphins are going to win a million Super Bowls now. I feel like your guys' ability to remember things that happened like two years ago, it's crazy. It's like it happened like 45 years ago. You have no memory of 2022 at all. Welcome to the show, Jess.
Yeah, but wasn't Dan also one of the people that was like, good luck, Patrick Mahomes, without Tyreek Hill? Or am I just inventing that take from two years ago?
The way the sport works is that if you're good, you usually don't stay with the same place unless you're the only good player. That's how it's set up. So I doubt he regrets his decision.
Good idea, Chris.
So you stole it from Bill.
my idea that's how it's been happening for 20 years well chris also in here accused someone of stealing the idea from him when he in fact stole it from jess without realizing he stole it from jess just that day i i didn't hear bill say it but bill's like not usually doing like super complex bits but he was i assume joking about it i want to make it clear that we are all being 100 serious about it thank you was he joking about it uh
I have an update on Bill, by the way. He tweeted this, according to Taylor. I don't actually think that Bill should hire Spags as their head coach, but I do think it's a perfect debate show opinion. So he's basically giving us permission to steal it.
It was like, Bill, what are you talking about? No, I said I doubt he was joking.
Really? I could see that. I couldn't see that, actually.
He does travel a lot, though. I feel like he's always in Australia.
Also, this is a bad week to joke about football. Like, I don't know if you guys have seen some of the analysis discourse out there, but there's threats going on. It's a dark, dirty place right now on the internet.
Really? Oh, yeah.
It's a dark, dirty place. Ryan Leaf took things to a weird place the other day. It was really weird.
I prefer when the footnote is on the page that I'm reading and not when I'm reading a dense book and the footnote is all the way at the end because I'm not going to flip that many pages to the end. Also, I thought Enya was an Irish singer, not a band. Is that another fine for me? Is it not a band? Does she have a band also called Enya?
Das ist das erste Mal, dass Alabama seinen Iron Bowl-Leader verloren hat, seit 2007, als sie zu Louisiana Monroe verloren hat.
Ja, ich hatte sie vor 15 Minuten vor jemand anderem. Ich habe Mike Ryan getext und dachte mir, hey, das geht runter. Ich arbeite auf die Geschichte, um auf Inside Carolina zu werden. Und dann, als ich bereit bin, Publisher zu werden, sehe ich es auf Twitter und denke mir, oh, wow, ich habe mein Fenster verpasst.
Yes, a show that is on four hours, a daily show that's on for four hours every day. The 20 minutes that I contribute a year, they said... Das ist, wo wir die Linie ziehen.
Looking around the landscape of college football, you can make the argument that North Carolina could be the best job this cycle. Maybe a West Virginia comes open, maybe a Purdue comes open. For me, I think John Sumrall from Tulane makes the most sense as an immediate replacement and one that probably wouldn't have to break the bank for North Carolina.
Cuervo. Welcome in to Gen CFB. I bet a bunch of people are wondering why I'm starting this. There's been breaking news.
Breaking news that happened over 24 hours ago. Mack Brown has been fired from the University of North Carolina. My alma mater.
Ja, also das war in der Arbeit, wo North Carolina und Mack Brown versucht haben, dieses amikabel zu beenden. Mack Brown war nicht so amikabel. Er wollte weiter coachen. North Carolina wollte ihn nicht weiter coachen. Eine Resolution konnte nicht erreicht werden. So endeten wir mit Mack Brown von North Carolina getΓΆtet.
In his triumphant return to Miami, Jimmy Butler was outscored by both Davion Mitchell and Alec Burks as the Warriors scored the second fewest points they've scored in a game this season.
What did you say to me? But it was like a mound visit.
Hey friends, it's JerBear here, and I'm here to tell you all about Boost Mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5G network. So I must take a break from the jokes here for a second and put on my serious voice. Because I would never ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country. Not even once. Not even if Mr. Boost Mobile himself asked me to.
There is nothing funny about it. Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network and also provides coverage across 99% of America. Seriously. Visit BoostMobile.com or your nearest Boost Mobile store location to learn more. The Boost Mobile network, together with our roaming partners, covers 99% of the U.S. population. 5G speeds not available in all areas.
Kyle Anderson was plus 24.
I do think that because it was a $5 bet from the jump, this changes a lot, right? Like if it was a huge bet with then a huge payout, maybe you continue to invest. But the fact that you only put $5 on it, it's like ride what that feels like until the end. And maybe you don't come up with $168,000, but in the worst case, you lost $5. No, but you lost $50,000. You didn't lose $5.
We're going to understand. I was really good at calculus. Were you? Yeah, I got a five on the AP exam.
That's what I'm saying. Thank you, Billy.
Akbar met him.
I'm just trying to tell a story. I'm not doing that to you. I'm derisively doing that to RG3.
Yeah, it's just unsurprising, right? Like that's RG3 is one of several people in the sort of sports media landscape who will just say anything for clicks, right? I mean, that's what that was. That's putting something out there at a time when the topic was the topic du jour. And he knew that that would be difficult.
What do you mean, buses?
According to artificial intelligence on Google, it says that in your wheelhouse originates from the nautical term for small enclosed area on a ship where the captain steers. So score one for Billy. A seaman. Dan. David. That's a raise for him, by the way, Dan.
I mean, your question, did Patrick Ewing win Rookie of the Year? He sure did. David, please spell Patrick Ewing's middle name. A, is it A-L-A-N? It does start A-L. That's close. What is it? Alistair. It's A-L-O-Y-S-I-U-S. Aloysius. Aloysius.
Sesame Sweet.
It was hilarious.
This is why DEI should exist in all organizations.
I can think of some other voices that might not have loved RuPaul of Big Men.
I'm curious what just happened. I sort of didn't really understand it.
I heard something about Jewish penises and my ears perked up. Samson, can you extrapolate?
Well, that's not my experience.
Mystery crate heads know.
Sorry, no, I just, some people only need their imagination sometimes.
No, we're not going to argue over that. That is very true. I agree.
I'll think about it.
I know, but can it be actual steaks?
I mean, it seems like maybe the guy that interviewed Akbar should have asked these questions to confirm he was a real person. That's usually what editors do when you do an interview with a random person on the street. And now I'm kind of like... I feel bad for this guy. He got fooled at the same time. Someone probably should have caught it.
Someone should have Googled, is Akbar Domestique a real person? Well, I'll tell you what.
It's really hard to do this whole bit now because half of us are... You're right. I'm sorry. I'm confused. When we started the show, it was like,
We want to talk about this thing that happened, but now we're like, this thing never actually happened because this was a real thing. Did somebody get fooled or not get fooled? I'm lost in space right now.
Thank you for explaining it. It's not a bit.
But it's a real story.
So then we're fine, right?
I'm not. Honestly, I'm not. I think people listening probably are just so confused right now. Yeah, this is incredibly confusing. Because I'm confused right now.
You saw he walked that back, right? He's like, I shouldn't have said that. That's my bad.
No, he's doing this for the millions of people sitting at home right now that are like, what the hell are they talking about?
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
He was so annoying. I walk into the makeup room this morning and he's like, this was the best night of my whole year. And I was like, you were fist pumping a buzzer beater like a month ago. Don't act like this is the only heat game that's made you happy this year.
And also because no one's there.
Monsieur.
Oh, my bad.
You're right, Dan. It is tearing everyone apart. You're correct. I don't know where I am either, but it's out of 100. So I think anything above 50 is pretty good.
I heard it was not a good show, but it had a really great episode. What?
That is Michael K. Okay.
81%?
It's a thousand years old, still kicking.
I was going to say like 45 seconds. Two minutes is generous.
No, the punchline was a good payoff, but he did seem like he was petering out while telling it a couple times.
It was funny, though.
I wanted to make my Monstar Jerry Krause joke.
He's done it on Mystery Crate, I believe.
I like the elevator format too. I think you guys should do the dance off in an elevator.
It reminds me of Portia in Arrested Development doing the dance during the protest inside the cage.
That means we're going to be stuck on whatever shot we're stuck on.
Also, the question was person that you expected to be bad at dancing that was better than you expected. So, since I thought Fuentes would be really bad at dancing, I think this actually is a...
Oh, is Chris Cody anti-American?
I have healthcare. Isn't that the words?
I feel like the airport's not the fun place to be right now. Although you just flew this morning. I mean, I feel like a new horror story every minute.
Is this the Streisand effect, Amin?
Where?
So how are people, investigators, finding out about this? Like you mentioned, there are a lot of small, bad teams. How are you catching wind of this as a reporter?
So if something like that were to happen and then a player would go into the pros and it would be revealed that they were part of something like this, is there like recourse the NBA can have on suspending a player for this type of behavior too?
I think it's like a garnet.
Yeah, I don't know a lot of boob legs. Thank you. So that's why I was with you until you brought Mariah Carey.
Yeah, I think a lot of people would.
No, that was sincere. That was way more sincere than your apology to Australia, by the way.
I didn't know who Josh Groban was until I saw Sweeney Todd. What? And then I found out he's like Christmas Carol guy.
I didn't know who he was. Random episodes of TV shows.
A ton of the terrible Sweeney Todd.
Cool!
Such an AI-ass answer.
was young he was 30 i think he was younger than this yeah yeah but also steve martin uh we have a clip of the jaguars new gm james gladstone talking at his introductory press conference that we're gonna play just so you could get a sense for his how adorable he is holy shit
That's a good fit.
I also saw a video where Florio and Sims asked him if he would redo his Duval, and he was like, not right now.
He's not ready for it.
If he's a guy that looks slightly older, we're not paying attention to the Jaguars GM hire right now. He just looks like baby. Facial hair.
Oh, it's Jamar Chase.
I actually was writing them down, but I lost you. It's a very wide wheel. I was looking at it. Those slices are so small. The font is so small. How do you even read it? I'm just saying. I do actually want to talk about Gronk. Can we talk? What is that?
Can you spin it again, Chris?
Oh, shit. It landed on the Browns not wanting to trade money. I really wanted to get the Gronk.
Didn't land on that, so we can't talk about it.
No, DT knows who I am. No, she does, and she definitely has seen his jump shot. Like, 100%. She's seen it.
I think the issue, though, is the dead money hit. If they trade him, it's going to be like $36 million if they trade him before June next year. That's part of it. They're in cap hell because of making the worst deal ever.
Also, the quarterbacks right now that are in positions to sign bigger deals are in a good spot because there's not a lot of potential day one starters in this NFL draft. Not really the same as having like power via your CBA or whatever. But it is interesting to see how like, you know, in a in a normal year, the way Darnold ended the season, probably not great for him in this year.
Probably isn't going to matter too much. He's probably still gonna make a lot of money.
Chris's agent's like, Chris, no, we need to talk about the terms of the deal. And he's like, please, what cereal?
Amin still has to respect him.
Criticize Chelsea Piers right now.
Yeah, you said you criticize Piers all the time.
Criticize a Pier. Navy Pier. Go.
That's a great call.
115 years old. That's older than David once.
You guys ever slap a dick?
Well, yeah, it was like a lot of petty crimes.
I guess they didn't really have a choice in it, though. But then, yeah, I mean, there's a lot of history since then that probably could be corrected.
Do you have any other comments for us, critiques, thoughts?
What do you think about Mike's Miami men's basketball head coaching report? Sorry, why not do a third day in a row of that?
I was just waiting for whatever name he was going to throw in there. It was good. Good one. It is Dan's fault.
First time Chris has ever had Greg's back, by the way.
Great analogy. He's good at analogies. Confirming.
Wait, this is a great show quiz idea for Dan and Amin.
Are they real people or not?
You're the Duke. A couple of Dukes cutting it up.
Oh, Josh Groban.
You had me and you lost me so fast with that.
I'm with Billy. If you talk the way you sing.
But, like, every time is Mariah Carey's time. No. Did you just fantasy?
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Cactus League is great, by the way. Cactus League is amazing. Portillo's. You go to Portillo's and you go to a game.
No, I think Dick Portillo may have had Mexican ancestry. Someone should look into that.
That's one of their prime...
You've never heard of Portillo's?
Well, Dick Portillo sold the company recently for a billion dollars, and now they're everywhere.
They say Portillos.
You don't have to second guess me on this. Okay.
Maybe he says his own name differently, but the chain is commonly called Portillo.
Well, Dan would know because he just found out about it five minutes ago.
I thought you were doing a bit, but no, that was, you were actually correcting me. Got it, okay.
I like you too, David. You're my favorite person on the show.
Happy birthday, David. I'm always rooting for you.
You're the devil I know.
I have not gotten to The Brutalist yet, David. But did you like it? And did you think Adrian Brody was Best Actor worthy?
I like that.
And he's like 29. I'm telling you.
No, I think he's 29.
I remember him in, oh, what movie was it where he played? Interstellar. He played like the son. The douche. Yeah.
Thank you. I actually didn't know that. The other actor, other than Brody and Chalamet, who has pretty good odds to win Best Actors, Ray Fiennes, who is the star of Conclave. Where do you rank his performance? Because I'm with you. I haven't seen The Brutalist. I thought Chalamet was amazing in A Complete Unknown. I really enjoyed that movie. It helps that I also am a big Dylan fan.
But I also thought Ray Fiennes was excellent in Conclave.
I didn't like the last Harry Potter. I'll give him low. I thought that it was weird. I don't know.
No, he's fine. He was fine.
Do you think people in Britain, when they burp, they go, Ralph? Instead of Ralph.
Great take.
God, you would be so short at 114 years old. This guy goes, because older people shrink. You'd just be so tiny. You'd just be so small.
All that to my grandparents who were roughly your height in their double nickel era.
So were my grandparents, little tiny Italian people. And then they kept getting shorter and eventually couldn't even see.
no no i'm i how would i grow with age well i don't know how are you staying the same like i don't know how are you gonna get to 114 i mean you're gonna be like a little poly pocket i'm just gonna put you in my little pocket um that guy who that documentary is based off of he goes viral on social media every now and then because he posts pictures not cheese um this guy's 47 by the way billy
And he goes viral because apparently he has some sort of blood transfusion thing going on with his son, David, that people think is really weird. He's trying to steal his son's youth. Did they dive into that kind of weirdness on this?
Well, you wrote like a little thing for Greg on his birthday. You didn't write anything for David.
Was it really mutual? Was MLB really happy with this?
So you're not double nickels anymore? That's a bummer.
One of them was three and a half hours long.
You were going to say take a shit, and you censored yourself.
Wait, no. Was it about the heat?
And Jeremy's.
And mine.
Chris's for sure. Definitely Chris's.
Mike's. Stugatz.
I mean, it doesn't really matter if you're delivering a line to the camera if you're wearing sunglasses because we can't tell.
I just already knew this.
He's trying to pit us against each other. It's not going to work this week, Levitard. It's not going to work this week.
More lines than what's the endgame spent?
You know, this is more than Greg gave us yesterday when we asked him to act and he said he was better than every actor in White Lotus.
What if it grows and it grows a new Greg Cody out of it? Oh! That would be awesome.
And you know he's been speaking the entire time.
I didn't think his ego could get bigger. We need to get him back on American Ninja Warrior.
When did this become inside the actor's studio?
How'd your dad's surgery go, by the way?
Did you just remember?
Did he get to keep it?
You can't take credit for Diana Taurasi.
What about the EuroLeague titles? Do you take any credit for those?
Okay.
I thought that the Time article that announced her retirement did a good job describing her. I think it was Sue Bird's words. She's a kind asshole. She's a very kind person, but she's an asshole. She's got a very sharp wit about her. If you've ever watched her do the Final Four broadcast with Sue Bird, you understand her vibe. She's ultra-competitive, obviously, but a very generous person also.
A kind asshole.
But he's a Chicago, the Chicago to Phoenix pipeline is very strong. Phoenix is one of the first places outside of Chicago to have Portillo's. Yeah, there you go.
I claim like six places, so I accept. Come on.
Chris Cody's wrong.
Lurking? He's kind of lurking in the background.
This is a lurk.
Also, you can't see my feet. I'm tiptoeing a little bit.
It's also kind of a ray gun situation.
If it's about the heat, I'm going to go home.
I think what you think at the end of the day is more important than when you think at the beginning of the day. At the end of the day. You've learned a lot throughout the day, and then at the end of the day, you draw a conclusion.
Betty Davis. Okay, great, great. This is exactly what I wanted to do. Please, just keep naming starlets from the 30s.
You thought his name was Walter.
Chris Whittingham is a fancy lad.
Danny, shot for your life, Jokic or Jordan?
I do wish I could tell my dog, like, I'll be back in 20 minutes or like, I'll be back in a couple hours. Don't freak out. This is going to be a longer trip. This is going to be a shorter trip. I wish I could explain that part.
So they're like humans. Okay.
Ron, I read a story about giant squids a while ago. Well, I listened to a story about giant squids from David Grant, and it was about how if you were able to find a live giant squid specimen, it would be one of the greatest scientific discoveries because we've only ever seen dead giant squids.
In terms of things that haven't been discovered yet that we know are out there, like animal species, is there anything more than the giant squid that would trump that as a scientific discovery?
They're like 60 feet long, right?
I don't think that, like... Bringing your parents' ashes to a football game? I never heard of that. You've never heard of that? I think people do that all the time.
They were just like, I wanted, you know, part of my dad with me.
think piece the same with the phrase long form right exactly no i see long form in like a little like antenna goes up i'm like oh really gonna find out about something i never knew in this david grand he's got a whole short story book of all his long form greg you would love it giant octopus everything how does your friend know they brought the deceased dad's like eye ashes and not like a foot ash
I don't know. It wasn't a friend of mine. It was someone that I met that day, and she was, like, telling me. But she said it sort of offhanded, so I never really followed up.
No, but, like, I feel like you guys are a lot more afraid of death than, you know. Not afraid, just. Just have questions. You know what I thought was weird? When my pap died, my uncle accidentally unscrewed the urn and part of his ashes fell out at the reception. I was like, Uncle Frank.
The same thing my Grammy uses to make meatballs. Greg, what do you think?
Why are we doing?
And I stumbled into it was like, oh I'm above the rules and also no one's gonna say anything So I'm gonna who's gonna yell Lee Corso, you know?
It seems like you're trying to stifle a sneeze. No, it's a yawn. It's a lullaby. It does something to my brain.
I like that he's a one-trick pony, but his trick is he does three tricks.
Their name may have already been guessed.
Greg, do you like hard candy?
There's this new hard candy that Progresso has unveiled, and it's for soup lovers. It's soup hard candy.
Would you dabble in that?
It's like a chicken noodle soup-flavored hard candy.
It just feels like something old people, with all due respect, would love. You guys like your hard candies and you like your soups. It feels like a good combo for an older gentleman to enjoy.
What if it tasted like chicken?
Not just like butterscotch pudding.
What does he mean by that? Like your teeth aren't going to fall out?
I think he's saying his teeth wouldn't fall out in a skateboard accident.
I've seen videos of cremations. There are still pieces left.
But yeah, there was a lot.
Oh, it was in that monkey documentary because this woman tried to pretend that her monkey died. She had a chimp that she wasn't supposed to have. And she apparently lied to... the government to lawyers who were telling her she had to hand over this monkey. I think she had a different monkey cremated and then said, this is the monkey. He died and I cremated him.
And they said, there's no way that you self cremated the monkey because there would still be bits of the monkey left. So then they showed a cremation and what was left over after they cremated it. And there were like pieces of bones.
At the game on Monday, I met someone who brought their dad's ashes to the national championship.
No, it was like in her pocket.
A certain sports media person cut the line. What?
I'm not going to say, but you can guess. I'll probably be right.
And he's still in Atlanta right now.
Same with Jacksonville.
Yeah. I saw videos of Bourbon Street with like three inches of snow on the ground. That blew my mind.
Sad.
I'm okay, actually. You seem well-adjusted. I was complaining to Greg the entire time we were getting our makeup done about certain aspects of the weekend that were unsavory, and I feel like I got a lot off my chest. So now I feel better.
I felt like the city of Atlanta was surprised by the fact that there was a national championship game Monday. And there were several bars that we went to where there was like one bartender working and it was kind of a mess. They didn't know that there were going to be so many people trying to be indoors.
There was a situation where there was like a tailgate party indoors where the fire marshal was like turning people away. And they're like, you can't come in. There's too many people in here because everyone was so cold. And it was just a big cluster on Monday, I would say. And then the in-stadium situation, the DJ was very, very loud. He was very loud. He was singing a lot. It was too much.
People at that game, they're paying a lot of money to be at that game. You don't need to convince them to cheer. It was a very loud and raucous atmosphere.
That was kind of what you did at the Vegas show last year. How dare you? What?
But he was also hyping up the show from this other stage.
For the record, I'm pro cheerleader.
I think that happens every year because it's on a Monday and it's like after the bulk of the college football season's already ended. So it always feels like it's like, oh, yeah, we have one more game. And then unless your team's playing in it, like it kind of sneaks up on you. And also this year happening right after like the divisional round of the NFL playoffs, which took up a ton of oxygen.
Some ginormous games were played this weekend, which I'm excited to hear your guys takes about like this. It's a Monday in the middle of January. It just kind of sneaks up on people.
What?
I know this will never happen, but I wish they could work something out with the NFL and put the national championship game Saturday leading into the NFL games and then Sunday the rest of the games. It just feels like a missed opportunity. Also, having the semifinals on Thursday and Friday, I saw that the ratings were down from last year when it was on Friday.
New Year's Day because New Year's Day is a huge college football day. And so just like weekday, weekday, weekday playoff games is hard for fans. It's hard for spectators, obviously. It's just weird.
I kind of disagree. I've always been a kind of like the championship games cool and the national championships important. But the season is the best part. Like the regular season is the best part of the football and bowl season. I really love. But I like the national championship game for the last eight years has been a blowout. There's rarely a close national championship game.
That's not like to me. It's the opposite of the Super Bowl. It's not like the crowning jewel of the season. Too many games.
It's how it's kind of felt every year.
I disagree with you. I don't think people even really care about what the seeds were. Ohio State and Notre Dame finished 1-2 in the final AP poll.
I don't think it was anticlimactic. I guess I just feel like the national championship game every year feels like this, where it's kind of randomly after the season ends. And especially this year, because it went a week longer. Both of these teams had school last week. It's just weird.
I don't know if I could say I wouldn't go that far but like yeah like the I think the football season sort of does climax around New Year's Day like that's like the big you know that's why it made a lot of sense to have the semifinals on that day and then you have like one more game after that for the for the title but that's obviously not how it is with the 12 team playoff now there's another week in between and so it does sort of like taper off a lot more slowly but either way I think this game probably got like monster ratings it was Ohio State and Notre Dame I'm sure a ton of people
Why can't you just say no? Just say no. Don't go anywhere. Are you talking about, like, things you can't... That's not how that works. There's things you can't say no to? Oh, yeah, of course. Like what, like baptisms? I would say no to that.
Oh, I would go see your baby get dunked under water.
I don't think he's joking.
Why are we killing people? I feel like I missed something.
Speaking of.
Greg thinks Steve Martin's a bad actor. What?
Yeah, you got it.
So funny, Greg.
I love Martin Short. I laugh every time I see him. He doesn't even have to say anything. I'm just like, ah, ha, ha.
That's his character in that show, though. He's a theater producer.
You said all three of them were bad. Yeah. Bad actors.
And a dipshit. I wish they just ended it with and a dipshit. Just up the numbskull to dipshit.
We all had that in 2020.
No, I was okay. I don't know. Did you have that in Florida?
Thank God I'm wearing a waterproof jacket today. That sneeze is all over my arm.
Lehman got it for me in New Zealand. He was there for the World Cup last year. Oh, that's so nice. Yes.
Imagine if Notre Dame was a Nike school and we could have things like this all the time. Under Armour, you're on notice.
It wasn't my hand. It was my elbow.
Billy, I feel like some light insider trading you could get a little ankle monitor for.
Couldn't you just purposely like drive sober, but purposely fail a field sobriety test?
It wasn't just because you were stuck at home. It's because you knew everyone else was. So it's not like you were missing out on any social obligations.
It's terrific.
But you have to pretend like you're sad about it. Like, oh, no.
Wait, Lehman, you have to go on a work trip? Oh, that stinks. Get me a jacket.
This hotel room is so quiet.
I have a new topic. So I have it on very good authority. I don't know if you guys saw yesterday. There was a lot of sports writers talking about how the lines at TSA at the Atlanta airport were two hours long. And it was just like a complete mess. They weren't ready for the amount of people that were going to be flying out of Atlanta yesterday. I have it on good authority.
Our society's so evolved.
The Iceman.
Ooh, that's actually a great segue to something I wanted to ask you. We have male comedians come on our show all the time. And I'm a huge fan of yours, by the way. But they come on and they always make degrading comments about women that we just let slide. So I was wondering if you could say something degrading about men.
Maybe he's just watching the women's tournament because that one's on mostly ESPN.
Bye, thank you.
I'm not a father, but I can attest to that. I read that ESPN women's basketball ratings were up this season, so still climbing, which is something that I said last year when everyone's like, oh, after Kaitlyn Clark goes to WNBA, no one's going to watch anymore, blah, blah, blah. No. It's still interesting. I think this year is going to be great because there's a lot of teams that could win.
There's a lot of stars. Juju Watkins, yes, is a star. Paige Beckers is a star. Hannah Hidalgo, Olivia Miles are stars. Lauren Betts. There's a ton of household names in women's basketball.
It was. You know what? No bad ideas.
That's why I'm not...
What are we not looking at right now, Tony?
Whatever you think that means.
Were you hiding in the bathroom?
Is it a great quote?
He's not looking, Chris. It's giving me Miami Heat, the power of friendship vibes. I know you have the right guys on offense, but that wasn't the problem.
Mike Ryan is being forcibly restrained on the couch.
Not me.
He's not looking, which is the problem.
Oh, God. He's on the move.
But you weren't looking, so I thought you said Grady.
You weren't looking.
I thought you were going to say 12 years, but then you said 30 minutes.
I don't know.
Why wouldn't it be 20 years? I figure 12 is like when you started at ESPN, maybe. I don't know. I am feeling... I don't know the timeline.
Well, it's a Wednesday that feels like a Thursday because we were here Sunday.
Looky here.
Don't they have an unprotected pick?
I told him to looky here.
We've not taken a better picture than that. Please put that up behind me. Put it behind. That nostril. Look, there you can see Mike Ryan trying to stay in character.
It's available so frequently. It's so available. Hold on. Let me get my head out of the way.
They can put that on the tombstone of our show and I'd be good with it.
I no longer have the most awkward stutter of this segment. Dan, thank you. I was lost for words earlier when Greg said that Cameron Brink was still at Stanford, and I tried to let him slide, and I was like, it's fine.
Except for one very famous example where it didn't work out.
You couldn't have noticed that from the speed with which I... That was very awkward. You didn't have to read it. Greg, how do you feel about him using senior citizen as a sort of slur in that post?
But why would he be doing it to himself?
Chris Cody, Jess, Tony, Tony's brother, Taylor, Billy, Ethan, Mike Fuentes. We have a podcast.
I want to hear Tony's reason why. I'm good.
Yeah, but I mean, we don't have to rehash this whole thing. But the controversy around Lone Depot Park wasn't because it was ugly or the walls were a bad color.
So the wins and losses thing, that doesn't really change the reality of how the park ended up where it is.
But that was where this whole conversation started, right? Isn't that why Greg and David don't get along?
That's crazy logic, though. Like a city shouldn't waste money because they'll just end up wasting it on something else.
Tony, you have a lot of opinions. You have been saying them nonstop since the show started, but none of them have been into a microphone.
Speaking of which, we need to get Taylor in here to talk about the North Carolina game last night.
Lazy Sunday was 16 years ago.
Das ist nicht fair.
Nicht nur ein Bowlingball.
Someone decided to mail Greg Cody a present that appears to be a bowling ball that was made just for him years ago as a promotional tool with a Dolphins logo on one side and a Miller Lite logo on the other side. Und es gibt keine Hose, die in den Bowlingball gedrΓΌckt werden.
Also kann Greg, wenn er morgen kommt, wenn er morgen kommt, wenn er wieder kommt, diesen Bowlingball fΓΌr ihn personalisieren und diesen Bowlingball nutzen, wenn er will. Wow. Und das war es, was ich geschaut habe.
No, it has no holes drilled in it. Yeah, and he can have it customized.
That's the thing is I'm conflicted. Do we open it or do we leave it for him? It's not gift wrapping. It's his gift to open it.
Wow, this is pretty dope. What would you call it, a marble? Big marble. They sent him a big marble.
But they have to win. Because if they lose the championship, then it's all for nothing.
Nein. Ende des Jahres.
George?
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Taye Diggs.
This is his list.
ESPN analyst.
Excellent.
No, Michael Shea. Three family members. That's not the offensive one. It's World Wide West.
Yeah. But I am interested in him having to come up with a top five right now off the top of his head. Good luck.
Yes, you do.
I was looking up Wes Welker, I mean.
Don Levitard. Number three, Chick-fil-A waffle fries. Love it. Nah, I think it's an overrated. You guys go ketchup or Chick-fil-A sauce when you have the Chick-fil-A. Polynesian sauce. Polynesian. That's my brother right there. Good call.
Stugatz. Oh, my God. What a weird interaction.
That someone's been fired. It's a good apology. Yeah, it's a terrible apology. One of the worst apologies, Jessica.
Behind, it all looks the same. I feel like we're glossing over the really funny part of this story. Terrence Shannon was on that team last March. Like, why are we retiring his jersey already?
I mean, imagine your Luther head and you're sitting at home watching the game and you're thinking to yourself, how did that guy get his number retired? You picked the perfect name.
Kenny Battle.
He's still flustered from not being on PK's top five. Kendall Gill.
I'm with Billy on this. We could have probably stopped at 30 years. They need to get over themselves. I'm serious, Dan.
The bodyguard. I don't know.
I agree.
Yeah, that's a silly question. No, I like ice cream. I don't like pain.
I feel like you're projected. I played competitive sports my whole life, and you're just kind of brushing right past. Billy's telling you he likes the taste of blood, and you're just brushing right past.
Dan, you shit-talk the video team every day.
I don't like smutty either.
Women stay home in the kitchen where they belong.
Are you shit-talking Roy's reporting right now?
Some of us played pickleball against some others of us and kicked their asses. And some of us shit talked the entire time. While others could not handle it.
Also Chris Cody.
Is he a fan of The Levitard Show?
Yeah, and we'd kick Dan Patrick's crew's ass.
How do you press the wrong buttons twice and you don't have to go to class?
He's never had his period.
She wins. I don't need to hear about men's pain tolerances.
Billy really probably, he ate a raw onion for you. He probably has the highest pain tolerance.
And you still shit talk him this whole show.
Did that make it hurt less?
That happened to me once. My friends, we were roughhousing, and they were swinging this bag of marbles around, and it hit me in the head. And my parents were at church, and I was afraid that we were going to get in trouble for roughhousing, so we never told them. And I thought for the next 24 hours, I was probably just going to drop dead.
Yeah, I didn't say it was, but I was afraid of getting in trouble. That was the common thread.
In the head.
Actually, Billy, I found out my best friend's dating a foot doctor. The foot doctor does everything from the ankle down. The ankle surgeries are part of podiatry. I never knew that. I just thought he was really into toes.
I don't think the ankle's, like, exclusive to the foot, Doctor. No.
No, I don't think the ankle has to be that, doctor, but they do cover that as well.
This whole like Jarrett Payton thing's been a setup for Dan to get ahead of the photos that are going to come out.
And they're eating, like, the nastiest shit.
Just such a bad wedgie. It's just an unbelievably bad wedgie.
Billy, you suck today, you idiot. Screw you, Billy.
Most of us have played sports, though, and probably been shit talked or involved in shit talk. Well, that's the thing about that. Like in that setting, it's like, yeah, that's part of the regular workplace.
Ist das ein IG-Story?
Was ist das?
He does a good camera.
Er ist so, oh, du weiΓt, ich bin ein Kontraktor und wir haben zu viele fΓΌr dieses Projekt bestellt, das ich anbiete.
Not to say that we didn't see anything from All Star Weekend, but boom, we got some NASCAR clips out almost immediately. Boom, boom, boom. We didn't and haven't seen very much from All Star Weekend. We got some other videos out there.
Shadow in it. Shadow in it.
Meh. So the fake Brad Pitt said he had kidney cancer and needed a loan because his bank accounts were locked as a result of his ongoing divorce with Angelina Jolie. So there was a kidney involved.
I saw that everywhere yesterday.
Do you think the baby's going to come out in Tebow? Remember Tebowing? Oh!
I saw this on Twitter. I need to credit who posted this. One of my Calgorithm friends. Cal's had more quarterbacks start in the Super Bowl than USC. Wow.
I think he did fine until you then made a sort of slightly pedantic correction and then he had to try to save it.
I'm not being pedantic. The literal definition of pedantic, someone who's too concerned with literal accuracy or formality. It doesn't matter if it's from the weekend or the week. I think the idea, the gist of it was delivered accurately.
i think chris doesn't want people to not call because they're worried it's not from the weekend i think that he's sort of opening this up to anyone and so now we're getting really bogged down in the details when people probably don't even remember what the initial read was the key is to be bold all right it doesn't matter when you do it be bold just like boost mobile so you can call 718-540-9013 any day of the week with a bold take
I think this was after the second Browns game. Yeah.
After that, they played the Chiefs, Ravens and Eagles in the span of 11 days, which when the schedule came out, everyone circled that as like, oh, this could be nasty. It was yikes. Not a take I would have made after that Browns game.
I commend Bill Simmons for this take.
The thing is, this isn't even AI. I think it's bad Photoshop. But Dan, even you, I think, wouldn't have been fooled by this. These are pictures that allegedly were sent to a woman in France by Brad Pitt, asking her for money, pretending to be Brad Pitt or slash Brad Pitt's mom. saying that he was in the hospital and that he needed help and he needed money.
And this poor woman, I do feel bad because she is just getting eviscerated online for this, but this poor woman was scammed out of over $800,000, according to People.com, sending this money to this person pretending to be Brad Pitt. And these photos are just so bad. It's almost unfathomable how this could happen.
Well, I was going to say more so where they can call you saying they're calling you from your loved one's phone and use their voice. That scares me. The Mike Tomlin ones, I pretty much always know that those ones are fake.
Mom, Josh Gad needs $800,000.
Well, I guess if the person, even if they're a scammer, actually needs the kidney, at least the kidney's going to a good place. Whereas if you're just giving them money, they're just blowing this on something, right?
But someone's getting a kidney.
Actual Josh Gad.
Oh, okay, I thought this was scammer Josh Gad.
Because, like, donating a kidney to a stranger is, like, even if you're scammed out of it, you know, it's a good thing to do, I guess.
Which is why this is insane. Like, this woman was like, oh, I guess it makes sense. Brad Pitt's calling me.
Maybe some people's insurance covers both surgeries.
It's a good save.
It's such a cop out to be like, he's the greatest quarterback of all time. That wasn't the question.
Also, like if he gets to call the Super Bowl and then he's like, I'm done calling it quits, leaving on top. OK, well, Greg Olson comes back. He's got to wait now like three more years to get to call a Super Bowl. That's not fair.
It's like, oop. If you said Ope, you would have said Ope, but you don't say Ope. You just express it.
You know that sound. It's the sound of money hitting your Venmo account. A friend paying you back. Or maybe it's getting cash back from your favorite business when you pay with the Venmo debit card. Or it's realizing you can pay with Venmo at checkout at thousands of brands. Now, there are so many more ways to answer the question, what's your Venmo? Download Venmo today.
I mean, we were supposed to ask about barbecuing and tailgating, not about his marriage. And I think that's what that look is. Stick to the script. Agreed. No one said ask about his marriage.
Don't ask him about it next time because we don't know what happened with... Right, you never know.
It's a really sad way to say it.
We're divorced now.
You're right. I didn't get everything in the divorce. It's not fair.
Oh, it was on Monday. Really? Yeah, wasn't it?
Because Darnold was seeing ghosts.
Yeah, Darnold was seeing ghosts again. The flashbacks to the last time he was seeing ghosts. Just run. Everybody was talking about the ghosts that he was seeing. Good night for ghosts.
It was like the whole universe made that same sort of callback at the same time. Like several group chats, just the ghost emoji. It's like the thing he's going to be best known for now.
The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. Pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated. Dosh cash back terms apply.
We have the other call that I was referencing, which I contend was the best call of the season. This was the end of the first half of the Maryland-USC game. Maryland's down. They're fumbling. It looks like they have no hope. They did end up winning the game by one point. But here is the call of the Maryland fumble.
Um, I mean, I've done the triple Indy, so I'm not that impressed.
Great question.
I didn't have a comeback. I'm sorry.
This is the Dan Levitard Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
Jordan, that's not why you didn't make the NBA, buddy.
Maybe if you didn't have the Funyuns, you would have made the NBA. Now I take it back.
Just friends.
There's no shot you could do the triple lindy.
Is it, though? Because, like, what if you assume that there are shoes off house and you just walk into the house and you take off your shoes and just make yourself comfortable uninvited?
It also depends if there are socks involved. Like, I don't want someone's bare little toesies on my couch. I also don't know if I want their dirty shoes, though. But it just depends what the shoes are, I think.
For my own house, I have a designated pair of slippers, like hard bottom platform slippers I wear around. So I feel like I have shoes on and my feet sees don't get cold. But they never go outside, so they're clean.
I don't know.
He's got some hobbit feet, I bet.
We're talking about... Those are good socks. Some do. Those are good socks, yeah.
Our pleasure. Our pleasure.
He's holding it too long. Just run. That's got to be, I would say, top two call of the last six months. Only just behind the disaster, what a bad idea call from the Maryland-USC game earlier this year.
I'm not sure what was more awkward, his reaction to that or when Dan asked him about his marriage.
I think the Ravens would take Anquan Boldin.
He was on my flight last week. I saw a three-day span. Tony Gonzalez was on my flight from Chicago to New York after the Bears played on Thursday night. Bad, awful game, by the way. December 26th, Thursday night game, Bears. And then Steven Spielberg the next day. And then Michael Imperioli. Three in a row. Bam, bam, bam. And obviously Tony Gonzalez, the least famous of the three.
I mean, he almost did at the end of the season. I mean... You could interpret it that way if you wanted.
Chris is like, I can take him. I'll tackle him. Only 6'2"? Please. That's shorter than Mike Ryan.
I feel like we're... Yes, the nutrition's gotten better. Training's gotten better. A lot of the things around sports have gotten better in the last few decades than they were before. But trying to say every person before a certain decade was just like a wet noodle. They were still very strong and very fast and very large people.
And just going off height and weight, I don't think it's giving you a full picture.
Exactly. What year is the cutoff? Like, if you were born post-2000, you're better than everyone before that year.
We should be careful saying guys born in the 60s are washed, and we should write them off.
Also, Babe Ruth never had to play against these modern players. Maybe he would have upped his physical game and lifted some weights.
The mailman. I mean, that's a nickname we won't even have in 20 years because the mail will be completely obsolete. We'll have the email man, and that won't even be relevant anymore.
But TikTok hasn't disappeared off people's phones. I think you're still going to be able to use it. You just won't be able to update it. Right, JerBear?
Are we still talking about that? What's going on?
And we're still talking about that.
What's going to happen to Jimmy's new brick-and-mortar coffee shop he just opened in the design district? I love their coffee. It is so good. Yes, it's actually, I'm not being paid by them to say this. I think you should be. I agree with you.
Yeah, it costs the same as all the overpriced coffee in the city. The merch, on the other hand, very overpriced. But is he going to close it? What's going to happen? I mean, he just opened it like two weeks ago.
Things are weird, but you also may be projecting a little bit.
My grandma will be thrilled.
She doesn't like Dan that much when she listens to the show.
You were very mean to Chris, I would say. Another text I got. Yeah, well, Chris was like, you know, what do you want to talk about tomorrow? And I was like, the Knicks stuff, obviously. And then later in Invisible Inc. Also, Dan was really mean to you.
Me? Yeah. Because Billy, Lehman's been out of town the last few days. And when you start dating someone who knows how to cook, you realize, A, I just don't cook anymore. But then when they go out of town, you realize like, oh, I actually, I don't know what I'm going to eat. And I know basically how to cook like two things. And so for the last six days, I've just been eating cans of tuna.
And I'm starting to wonder at what point I should be concerned because apparently there's mercury in cans of tuna. And it takes a long time for your body to process out mercury. So how much tuna reasonably can I eat? Can I eat it every day?
i mean it's so gross i put like plain tuna on a piece of toast with like a little squirt of mayonnaise and that's my lunch also have you guys noticed this protein trend that like everything has like added protein in it now that can't be healthy right you don't need a hundred grams of protein every day you need like what like 20
It's for when you're saying something and you're like, ooh, if someone's reading this over this person's shoulder, they have a way to make sure that no one sees it. So they're like, ooh, this is something spicy. Let me wait till I'm somewhere where I can press down and read it and be like, ooh, okay. I don't want anyone else to see this.
I thought it was good for your vagus nerve.
yeah i'm so i feel like the cold plunges like tuna and that it's probably okay in moderation but i'm wondering what is moderation for me like i'm not that big of a person i'm i'm about six one you know 125 um how much tuna reasonably can i eat in a week and how often should i be cold plunging because it's probably fine a little bit so the fda recommends that adults eat up to 12 ounces of canned light tuna per week
Not a lot. I would say probably less than that, but not much.
I thought the microplastics were in the balls.
No, I'm not sure. I think it's both.
Yeah, and it's not enough. I would eat two cans if I was not worried about mercury poisoning.
A week?
Yeah, you're dead. Sorry.
I think he probably, yeah, he probably fits one of those criteria. Mike doesn't. That list was for Mike.
I do.
I mean, only in the way that you're passionate about like things where you sort of like swoop into a thing and then you really, really like it for like a week.
Like brain pills or whatever thing you were on.
Well, OK. I would also like to add this isn't from yesterday's show, but Amin's shrimp in a cake analogy. One of the greatest, I think, of all time in the history of the show in describing some of Dan's requests. Very good analogy, Amin.
Mike, you need to stop being triggered by people on the internet. That's my take on that.
Just be happy. You got the number one recruit in the country. Like, woohoo, yay, Miami.
That does happen all the time. Yes, I...
Probably because Carson Beck is driving several stolen Lamborghinis. Not that he stole, but I know. And he got them at Georgia. Mike, I don't. I mean, just call them poor and move on. I don't know. You missed me so that you could find an entryway to talk about Miami to then make me upset. Okay, I got it.
Who, Jason Onye and Gabe Rubio?
It's May. I guess this is all you have in college football right now.
I want you out of breath.
I think they were just saying that because you're doing it, which is not nice. Okay, well, but, okay, so you guys tell me then.
So you've gone about a quarter of a mile.
I'm not even a Knicks fan. OK, like this is not I'm not on the list.
I mean, I was raised Catholic. I don't go to church often. Don't apologize, Jess. You're unapologetic.
You must. I don't, okay, I don't want to get into my spiritual beliefs with you.
We're here now. Honestly, I have very mixed feelings about this Knicks run because, yes, obviously I want my boyfriend to be happy, whatever. But he started this annoying bit where he jumps in the pool every time the Knicks win. And it's just like, why are you jumping in the pool? He does that too?
Also, Dan, it was Catholic to my core, not unapologetically Catholic.
I would say she is definitely Catholic to her core and unapologetically Catholic, yes.
You say Hail Marys on the beads, and then I think you say the Our Father on the big beads. My grandma does that on the plane every time she flies somewhere. Does she? It's very jarring. Yeah. And it makes everyone really anxious. Why are you praying the rosary right now? What's he praying for?
And this is great to talk about this. Yes. Tell me what you think.
I'm sort of confused about what the... So I was one of those people that when I found out the Mavericks won, I was like, it's rigged. And then I thought about it and I was like, but why? So I'm sort of confused now what the argument is for why the NBA would rig it so that the Mavericks would get the number one pick.
So they just decided, though, like, in the last few weeks when the Mavericks became eligible to be in the lottery and have, I guess, like, when did they decide to do this?
It does matter because it's a bad conspiracy theory because I don't understand it.
Were you, okay, can you tell us the story?
I mean, I do want to get into it, though, because I was listening to Tom on Bomani's podcast earlier, and also I was listening to, he had Zach Lowe on also, and Zach Lowe was talking about sort of the... injury stuff in the NBA, like it's almost a certainty that you're going to have some sort of injury like this now. And there's a number of reasons why perhaps that's the case.
And maybe it comes back to workload and youth sports especially. And I think that that's really interesting, too. But back to, I mean, your point. So can you just sort of break down the actual conspiracy and why it would make any sense for the NBA to rig the draft lottery for Dallas?
Right. And Gulliver also wrote in his story, he had a quote from a Mavs executive who was like, I can't believe that this happened. Like, I have been working on the draft lottery in this process and been dealing with conspiracy theories my whole career. And now, like, basically there's the subject of one, but go on and
They should be allowed to do that, by the way.
Does that have the lottery be like all one team?
And I would say I'm still waiting for an explanation why this would be worth rigging for the Mavericks. Please, Amin.
I mean, if the NBA wanted to interfere with Dallas, wouldn't they just try to interfere to get Nico fired because he's a bad executive? Is he?
What are you doing? He didn't do anything.
See, now you've lost me again. The best conspiracies have the simplest premise, I think. This one is a little too convoluted for me.
And one of them was definitely LeBron.
OK, I mean, I do want to ask you another question, though. How screwed are the Celtics moving forward? Because I know, you know, they obviously still have a lot of talent left on that team. But with the new CBA and Tatum being out probably for all of next season, if I had to guess, he's obviously still really young. Like what what do you expect them to do now?
It would have been worse if you teased it out for three hours and then told us that story. So I'm glad we just got it out of the way.
Okay, OLI. This is, again, the list of people who can celebrate a Knicks playoff run. At one point in your fandom, Pablo Prigioni was legitimately the best option you had at point guard.
Again, I'm not included in this list. I have another OLI, though. A glimpse of a photo of Rick Smith's stupid face will send you into a frothing fit of PTSD-fueled rage. Bing bong!
There's a separate list of stupid faces, but we can get to that later. Now we're on to number five. You had a Langston Galloway jersey. Bing bong. Wow. i hate i i miss the fanfare i hate this bing bong whatever it just doesn't feel as good as getting fanfare i'll give you fanfare if you want it thank you chris god number four you have a memory of alexis fed running a pick and roll at the mecca
Shved. This is number three now. You had arguments that nearly ended friendships over the inclusion of Timofey Mozgov in the deal for Carmelo Anthony.
And you've had arguments about it, Amin. I can tell. Knicks fan. Number two, you have personally sat and commiserated with Bobby Bacala from the Sopranos on the State of the Franchise at the old Paris Cafe. That one feels very specific. And finally, number one. You remember where you were when Andrea Bargnani tried to dunk from the foul line.
Bing bong. I think he hurt himself. It was not a good situation.
Make your own list. Also... Yeah, so I'm happy for the Knicks. I love Timothy. I heard the other day someone call him the patron saint of City Kids. I mean, I don't know if you can like, I don't know if you agree with that. That's a big praise to give Timothy. But I'm happy for the Knicks.
I think if they do end up winning the series and I don't see the Celtics winning three in a row, I guess I do kind of see it because all the things I just said in the list could happen to the Knicks again. But yeah, if the Pacers and the Knicks play in the next series and Reggie Miller and Kevin Harlan are on the call, that would be a bad time for Knicks fans, I think.
So there may be still a lot of pain ahead.
I gave the caveat something really bad could still happen to the Knicks. There's three. I think Knicks fans all have PTSD, right? I also say all of this with also the caveat that I know the fans are sick of Knicks talk. So I'm sorry, everyone.
Yesterday was really embarrassing, Dan, for the show, for Mike, for you, for everyone. I was listening to, first of all, Mike has been sending me these like Knicks texts cheering on the Knicks for the last like four days now. So I don't know when this started, but I do not like it. I know you tried to explain it as like, oh, we're not Knicks fans. We're just rooting against Boston.
Billy, the quote from Dan was Catholic to my core. Chicago Pope was probably the most memorable day of my entire life. Just all of it. The memes, the jokes, the disbelief, the informing Chicago people. Why is David Sampson wearing a Pope? Oh, because he's in charge of Metal Ark now? I get it.
We should do that. I mean, that's a good idea. The College of Metal Arcs, like where the birds, where cardinals get it, because they're birds. I don't know. I'm working on it.
Yeah. Have you met us? My I mean, I was shocked when I heard the news and I told my parents and I'm staying with my parents right now because we haven't moved into our apartment yet in New York. But my parents were like, he's not American. They weren't elected American pope. And I'm like, he's actually from Chicago, too. And they're like, no, he's not.
But they did say when they announced he was the new pope, he's the least American American, which is kind of a hilarious way to insult the rest of Americans. But yes, there he is at the World Series game at Kaminsky Park.
The one on the phone, he's calling in to God and saying, please, this is going to be the only moment of joy this fan base feels for my entire life. Please let the White Sox win this game.
Do you remember when he fell off the stage at that one event and just like ate shit? That was a funny YouTube video back in the day. It was like the grape stomping lady, but it was Kelsey Grammer.
Oh, is that their dad? Someone's named Frank.
It's not like that's not really what it's all like to me. So with some help from some of our friends, I have a top five list for today's show of people who are allowed to celebrate a Knicks playoff run. And I'm hoping that you will realize that none of you are on this list and you will stop debasing yourselves.
Billy, I never crossed paths with the pope prior to him becoming the pope. However, he he was born at the hospital my grandpa worked at. My grandpa was a chemist. Yeah. So maybe their paths crossed, which is crazy to think, because when you grow up Catholic, there's one thing really that you're sure of.
And well, two things, one, that you should feel guilty all the time and two, that the pope is never going to be from America. And he's certainly not going to be from Chicago of all places. I am glad he's from Chicago, though, because imagine how annoying like Philadelphia fans would be if he was from Philly or like Boston people.
Like at least Chicago, we can make funny like hot dog jokes and malort jokes.
All I know about my grandpa's chemistry career was that at one point he was a chemist in a lab working down the hall from where LSD was first invented.
well i mean i don't want to speak ill of my grandfather but um i you know my grandma she seems like a hoot right she seems like she thinks that a lot of things are funny and she's very humorous well my sister sent our big family group chat last thursday when the pope was announced um an onion article about like the vatican elects first chicago style pope and it was a photoshop of the pope in a bun with you know tomatoes and
uh sport peppers and whatever relish like he was a Chicago style hot dog and my grandma just responded to the whole group like our entire like 35 person group chat not funny oh wow wow she didn't take kindly to the Chicago jokes huh
she did not like the pope jokes i don't think it was well although that's a good question maybe she was offended on behalf of the hot dog not the pope i'll have to follow up on that you guys remember when the pope's like official instagram account was liking thirst traps like a couple years ago
Are you sure you're not confusing him with Ted Cruz?
Yeah, that happens to me all the time. All of a sudden, jugs. What are you talking about?
I like that, Mike, this is smart of you to get ahead of whatever your wife is going to find later on your phone. This is actually really good. You're putting this out publicly now, and this is the explanation. And it's a smart move.
Ja, es kostet jetzt wahrscheinlich das gleiche wie bei anderen Flugzeugen, wenn man mit mehrfachen Taschen fliegt. Es war frΓΌher so, du bringst einen groΓen Schuh und deine Golfclubs und beide sind gratis. Das kostet etwa 80 Dollar auf United oder American.
Nun, nun, nun. Es ist die College-Mens-ACC-Basketball-Tournament-Zeit. Und irgendwie hat Notre Dame den zweiten Rund gewonnen. Sie spielen heute in North Carolina. Ich schaue nicht so viele Mens-College-Hoopes, aber ich schaue Notre Dame. Und sie sind nicht sehr gut. Sie haben gestern in der ersten Runde gegen Pitt verloren. Ein kontroverser Foul-Call am Ende des Spiels.
Was? Okay, als ich in der Schule war, ging ich so oft wie mΓΆglich zu vielen Notre Dame Spielen. Und das war super gΓΌnstig. Ich fΓΌhrte nach Midway von South Bend, fliege auf einem 60 Dollar Flugzeug. Ich habe den 10.30 Uhr Flug auf dem SΓΌdwesten gekauft. Und ich habe all diese Wege gedreht. Und du konntest es am letzten Moment Γ€ndern.
Und wenn etwas gΓΌnstiger kommt, kannst du die Unterschiede behalten. Und es gibt einen Kredit, was auch immer. Es war super gΓΌnstig, irgendwo im Land zu fliegen, vor allem, wenn man aus kleineren, dreckigen... Das ist das, wo sie fliegen?
They just started flying out of O'Hare, I think in the last two years.
Und sie sind also ein 10,5-Punkte-Dog gegen North Carolina. Taylor's Tar Heels. Also nehme ich Taylor's Tar Heels, um das zu beantworten.
We forgive you. Yeah. That's okay. That's an okay thing. Thank you. Okay mistake. We accept.
We knew what you meant.
Ich denke, sie sind in professionellen Bereichen sehr akzeptiert, wo es vielleicht 20 Jahre her war. Selbst die Yankees haben ihre Haarpolizei verΓ€ndert.
I don't think you can give his ballsack even half the credit, really.
Maybe 49% to his ballsack.
Ich sage es nicht, weil... Ich glaube nicht, er hat gesagt, wo er es gedreht hat. Nein, ich glaube, er hat gesagt, ich habe es hier nicht gemacht.
Und ich bin zum Arzt gekommen und er hat gesagt, es ist ein Verlust.
Ja, er wollte spΓ€ter spielen. Ich glaube, nΓ€chstes Monat.
I said Jack Nicholson earlier when we were talking about a few good men and no one corrected me. I thought you were doing that on purpose. I thought that was a joke. You made me laugh.
Chris, ich hab deinen Arsch.
Ja, sie haben zusammen gespielt. Er hat einen Hals in einem, das ist eine ganze Sache. Ja, genau. Er bedeutet auf der PGA Tour.
Die Grund, warum ich nicht furchtbar darΓΌber spekuliere, dass Tiger Woods getΓΆtet wird, ist, weil Tiger Woods das macht. Er wird getΓΆtet. Es ist sehr unfreundlich, weil er einer der grΓΆΓten Golfers aller Zeiten ist. Aber das war die Geschichte seines... Bad Driver.
Das ist die Geschichte seiner Karriere seit zwei Jahrzehnten. Er hat all diese Verletzungen, wahrscheinlich weil er sehr gut im Golf ist und wie er Golf spielt.
This is why I feel a little bad for Bronny because Wir machen einen Chart fΓΌr einen 16-JΓ€hrigen, dessen Vater am meisten berΓΌhmt ist. NatΓΌrlich ist LeBron vielleicht zweitgrΓΆΓt. Wir werden das heute nicht diskutieren. Aber er hat nie die Chance, sich normal zu fΓΌhlen. Ich fΓΌhle mich nicht am schlechtesten fΓΌr ihn. Es gibt natΓΌrlich Menschen in der Welt, die ich am schlechtesten fΓΌhle. Aber...
This is why I feel a little bad for Bronny.
Wollt ihr eine lustige Headline hΓΆren? Kevin Bacon hat einen Tag als normaler Person verbracht. Ich dachte mir, das tut weh.
Warte, warte, warte! Du kannst das nicht am Tag nach der Aaron Rodgers-Konversation machen.
I just want to hear Chris say Arnold Palmer again.
This is the second time in the show today. First Dan's like, no one watches college basketball. I'm sitting right here. Then Dan's like, no one watches golf. I'm sitting right here. You watch golf? Yes!
Hast du eine Meinung dazu? Lass uns hΓΆren, was Chris sagt, wie er die Nachrichten erhielt.
FΓΌr mich war der Krescendo und der tolle Moment der Masters. Und es war toll, weil wir wussten, dass das wahrscheinlich alles ist.
Es hat mich nicht geteasert. Ich dachte, es ist wirklich verrΓΌckt, dass das passiert ist. Und das war der Grund, warum es nicht mehr passiert ist.
Right, or watching him walk Augusta and you could tell he was just in pain.
Don't try.
We didn't promise like first class tickets. Well, no, no, no.
Yeah, anyways.
That would be the best outcome.
I mean, Steak Sauce isn't going to win.
That's what I said. Channing McMuffin.
Channing Happy Meal.
Oh, we got another winner. Channing Bacon. Oh, Channing Bacon.
I mean, God, it is just the shitification of America continues. Private equity taking our precious consumer friendly brands and companies and then making them just like every other company that is extracting every last penny from the consumer. They are getting rid of their free bag check policy. One of the only reasons you would ever fly on Southwest.
Ich gehe genau da, wo mein Nummer ist.
Anyways, Southwest used to be the budget airline where you want to get away. It costs $80 to fly from Midway to Phoenix, Sky Harbor. And you get two free bags and you don't have a seat. You probably sit in the middle somewhere in the back because you forgot to check in 24 hours ahead.
Or you remembered, but there were so many people that paid for the early bird check-in that you were still in B35 anyways. Bastards. Jetzt kostet es viel Geld und man muss die Taschen bezahlen. Warum fliegt man sonst immer nach SΓΌdwesten?
It's just a regular airline now. But they're just all the same aircraft. Okay. And their system is also still ancient because they had that huge outage a couple of years ago because there was a snowstorm and they do a different thing than every other airline. And they go from city to city to city instead of having like these major hubs or something.
I remember reading some deep rabbit hole about Southwest and why they couldn't recover from this big snowstorm. So assuming they haven't updated that yet, maybe they have. It's just like, why would you do this?
Ja, literally alles, was ich ΓΌber die Cold War gelernt habe. Aber geht weiter.
I feel like I can't win. If I make a reference that's too current, it goes over everyone's head. If I make a reference from the 80s, it's like, how do you know that? If I talk about Columbo, I'm an old person now. This is you winning. It doesn't matter what decade my reference is from. It's wrong.
I saw a story that Kevin Bacon apparently, I don't know if this was like butt cracked or whatever. I saw this at like two in the morning the other night, ball sack or butt crack. Kevin Bacon like doesn't want them to play this Footloose song at weddings that he goes to. So he asked the DJ not to play it.
I hope it's true because I'm doing a Dan right now where I'm like, I saw a thing and I did zero verification. But that makes me so sad that they're just like, people just circle him when they play the song from Footloose, and they're like, do a dance.
Okay, wait. I found the story in Entertainment Weekly. Apparently, Kevin Bacon revealed that South by Southwest. Do you guys remember South by Southwest? It's like the four-year anniversary.
They always start out about being about the bride, and then there's alcohol involved, Bacon said. And by about 10.30, the song comes on, and suddenly the wedding becomes about me getting out and dancing. People literally form a circle around me and clap their hands like I'm a trained monkey.
I feel like I associate six degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon and then Footloose.
You know, now that I look at it, he's in all of these massive movies, but he's not the lead.
Yeah, but he's not Tom Cruise or Jack Nicholos.
He's in JFK.
Apollo 13.
Chris has a good question that I think we need to explore a little further.
That's a zany clown. Yeah, for sure. Kids clown. Kevin Dutch baby.
Kevin Ham.
What if he's just a different meat?
And the cheekbones.
I think natural.
Can't you just go?
What's your wife's thing about 830?
You're just like REM.
You didn't know he was the West Virginia coach. You thought this was some old aggregated story. Yeah, I didn't know he came back.
He called me Catholic to my core once. I have never forgotten that.
Gottilocks over there.
He called the Notre Dame pick game earlier in the day, and then he was on the call for this one.
No more dancing. No more TikTok dancing. He's like the town in Footloose. Like, no dancing. You guys can do, like, lip sync videos, I guess, but you can't dance.
What's for lunch? Dancing on TikTok, every football team does these. Basketball teams do them. They're so innocuous. It's not like this is a massive distraction.
I kind of am giving this a little bit of side eye where I'm like, why dancing though?
There's so much good in there.
I can give him eye contact and be like, what do you mean by tights?
We're on a major podcast on a major network. Accusing someone of doing something that there is no... He didn't accuse. Asking why we aren't accusing someone of doing something is... I don't think it's our place to do that. Unless there is a legitimate conversation about it stemming from someone with legitimate eyewitness accounts or whatever investigative story there is. Hold on a second.
Well, he believes he can make a difference in this case. In the other cases, he knows he can't.
Mike comes back and he's like, that Gemstones episode sucked and you're wrong.
you want to go first i my so the take that made me the saddest was about righteous gemstones that made me sad that you guys didn't appreciate the art that was the first episode of the new season of righteous gemstones also you made false claims that it was the most expensive episode they've ever shot which danny mcbride said is not true they filmed it in 10 days bradley cooper didn't get paid anything he had never seen the show before he was just coming in
hot and he was like i'm gonna be elijah gemstones gemstone and the entire episode is about how this family's entire uh fortune is based off of a grifter a bible grifter and if you didn't catch that it's not really a spoiler catch that catch that you didn't really catch that didn't catch it okay missed that okay just missed it
I mean, it's giving you like a origin story about this family and how this all began. And it was perfect for tying it into how they exist now in the show.
I think that one made me the saddest because I appreciated that episode. I was like you, Dan. I turned on the episode and I was ready to see what Uncle Baby Billy was up to. I was ready to see what Keef was up to. I was ready to see what all my favorite friends, the Gemstones, were up to over this long hiatus. Ten minutes in, I realized, okay, this flashback is not going to come to present day.
This is just going to be like one big flashback episode. I'm along for the ride now. And I was waiting for them to sort of like tie it all together. And at the end of the episode, they did. They landed the plane. And I was like, I see what they did with this. And it made me sad to hear that you and Mike both didn't like it.
I also I heard you guys say like you didn't you like the episode, but not for the premiere of the season. When would you would you rather have in the middle of the season?
We'll get BJ pole dancing eventually.
Apparently he did all his own pole dancing stunts in this season. Wow. Trust me, when I turned on HBO Max on Sunday night, Max, as the kids call it these days, I wanted to see that pole dancing. And I realized instead I was going to get Bradley Cooper in a period drama that I was not expecting. And you know what? It was excellent. It was great. They nailed it.
We wanted to start off easy. We wanted to start off with a little warm-up routine here.
I had a crush on Kermit the Frog when I was little.
Yeah.
Amina's a great Kermit.
Look, I know I'm the last person that should be talking about toughness, because I'm currently dressed as the witch from Wicked. But we're complimenting all of these hockey guys for their toughness because of swollen faces and stuff. And I believe the video team has an image of me after I got my wisdom teeth out. And it looks exactly the same way as any of these hockey players.
And I wasn't complaining, guys, when my face looked like this. So I don't think we need to worry about it. You just looked like a fat kid. You just look like a fat kid.
It does look like McLovin. Those glasses were rough. I thought it was Ben Platt. Oh man, another one.
You're asking if he was a writer. We can't. We can't call him Casey earlier. No, we can't.
I've been feeling loathing, unadulterated loathing for the fact that we have not talked about Wicked yet because it's an incredibly popular movie that's been defying expectations. A lot of people leaving going, what is this feeling? Adnan, wie fΓΌhlst du dich bei Wicked?
You don't deserve to have that sweatshirt if you haven't seen the movie. This is ridiculous. I've been trying to talk about this for weeks. This isn't even a punishment. This is just because I wanted to get Wicked on the show.
Guys, I want to talk to you about something that I don't think we think about enough on a daily basis. And that's comfort, specifically when it comes to underwear. Because let's be real, when it's not right, you're going to feel it all day. And that's why I want to tell all of you about Tommy John.
Because the first time I put on a pair, I knew my underwear drawer would just simply never be the same. Tommy John hat gerade einige ihrer Produkte an uns in den Schiffskontainern gesendet. Und das ist mein erstes Mal, dass ich Tommy John Underwear trage. Ich war wirklich ΓΌberrascht. Durch den Komfort, durch die Strecke, die im Design vorhanden war, durch die Textur. Es gibt eine echte Komfort.
Und ich kann sagen, dass sie den Eindruck gelegt haben, um sicherzustellen, speziell in unserem Fall mit MΓ€nnern, dass wir sich komfortabel fΓΌhlen wΓΌrden. Ehrlich gesagt, hat Tommy John das Spiel fΓΌr mich verΓ€ndert. Ich weiΓ, es wird ein guter Tag sein, wenn ich aus der TΓΌr gehe und Tommy John aufhΓΆren werde. Bis zum nΓ€chsten Mal.
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Auf der Tour mit dir? Nein. Das klingt schrecklich.
Ich habe die meiste Zeit auf dem Balkon gesessen und das Wasser gesehen. Oh, du hattest einen Balkon? Ja, einen Balkon.
I didn't really look at it. Claire had it most of the time, but I didn't really look at it. It's like an elephant. No, it may have been a rabbit. How do you not remember? Did you get hit in the head? Because I'm old. That's why I'm getting old. I'm starting to forget stuff.
I'm not that young.
Γh, ich habe Claire geschaut, um sicherzustellen, dass sie nicht gekidnappt wird. Das ist eins. Guter Vater. Sie kΓΆnnen dich nur so viele Orte in der Mitte des Ozeans nehmen. Ja, das ist wahr. Und in der Buffet. Was? Alright. Did you overeat? I did. Did you go to the casino? Put it on the poll, please. I didn't play.
I got the internet package. You didn't unwind whatsoever. No. I checked the phone from time to time. Did you go on the water slides? No, Claire did. You were watching hockey the entire time you were in the room, were you not? I wish I was watching hockey. I wasn't able to watch any, I watched the Dolphins game at the bar and that was it.
So you didn't get sports, you didn't get gambling, you didn't get drink.
Did you guys ice skate?
Ja, ja, wir sind um die Insel gestiegen. Und du hast dich um die Insel gestiegen? Ja, und ich saΓ auf einem Beachchair die ganze Zeit.
Claire hat nur eine Seashell genommen. Das war es.
Ich meine, komm schon, Mann.
The three-dayer? It was from Thursday to Monday morning.
Das ist ein schwieriger Weg, den Kurs zu machen.
Oh ja, es war sehr scharf. Das Boot war definitiv scharf.
Apparently, yeah, it was a city called Labadee.
Labadee, yeah. No idea where he gets on a ship with no idea where he's going. Yeah, I had a passport. Listen, my family booked a trip. Und ich bin auf dem Boot gegangen.
Hey Leute, downloaden Sie die GameTime App, kreieren Sie einen Account und nutzen den Code DAN. Das ist D-A-N. FΓΌr 20 Dollar gratis. Eure ersten PrΓ€zisionstermine sind verabschiedet. Downloaden Sie GameTime heute.
Yes, that's what happened, yeah. Little shuffleboard. You know about this more than I do.
Can you give me some information on some of the activities that Roy did or didn't partake in?
No. I did see a captain's hat in the gift shop that I wanted to get, but he didn't want me to buy it.
No, I mean, you said it. You said it in English. I understood you. But no, I didn't. I didn't believe you.
No, no, no.
I believe that you are very sincere, but I'm not very used to getting compliments around here.
Das war's fΓΌr heute. Bis zum nΓ€chsten Mal. TschΓΌss. 300 Bucks in Bonusbets. If your bet wins when you bet just 5 bucks only on DraftKings, the crown is yours.
Thank you.
Well, we talk about putting a salary cap in baseball, but should there be a salary cap floor and make some of these low-budget teams start spending more?
Yep, my regular headset for executive producer has died on me.
No, we are getting that set up for you right now.
So there was no cheese, there was no condiments like ketchup or anything.
I was listening to you and on my buddy Nate Tice's podcast last week talking about all of the quarterbacks of the non-Cam Ward, Shadur Sanders tier, like the Milros, the Tyler Shucks, the Jackson Darts. Which one do you think is the best bet or does it just depend on who's drafting them?
I'm vaguely aware of the story. Do you want to tell the story?
That's, you know, slip and fall, burns your lap, all of a sudden, boom.
I kind of agree, this is a trap game.
Er versucht, Leute zu wehren, ich meine.
All the authentically warned?
Father Yuri.
But why is he up for this position? The Ohio State University.
Und das Hoodie.
Ja.
Willie Cauley Stein.
Er hat auch seine Haare so verrΓΌckt.
I don't think it's ever been the name. Can that go? I don't think the Lark has ever been the name. I like the Lark better. Really? Just the Lark?
Ty Domi war ein Platzkicker. Also der Quilt.
I wondered about her. I was thinking that.
Yes or no?
Jesus Christ.
Way to go, Billy.
You won one against Brad.
It's a wild one.
Right, he has to leave room in the event that you are indeed lying. Got a hedge, you're a special case. Yes, that's what he does.
Don't do that.
It is. Thank you. I don't care what Boris says. It is.
No wonder your wife is actually really hot.
Like at a bar mitzvah.
Oh, I thought you meant like performers on a treadmill, like that band OK Go that did the video on the treadmill.
This building makes weird noises and then sometimes the power just suddenly goes out and the lights, when the lights came back, they were brighter than the lights are right now.
It wasn't our fault the power went out.
No, Jason only cuts to me when I'm taking a large bite of a sandwich, yawning at a very bad moment. We all yawn, okay? When I'm looking at my phone in the middle of something, Billy looks at his phone all day.
Never cuts to Billy looking at his phone.
Why do they keep showing the weird relationship between him and his brother? Where do we think that ends up?
Him, because he's the older one. I think the younger one, like... He's finding himself. Yeah, like, I don't know. If you grow up with a brother like that, maybe that's why you're a little weird.
No, I'm going to do some reporting. And by the way, let's play this out.
Pablo was on Around the Horn first, October 2012.
Because the women aren't cooking anymore. Pablo said he was on Around the Horn first and on 2012. Also, The Crucible is about the Salem witch trials, but it's an allegory for McCarthyism, I believe.
I texted me and I'm awaiting confirmation.
Okay. Okay, Mina claims over text to mean that she went on Around the Horn around the same time she came on the Levitard show.
Oh, there's green in the green room, but there is no sex in the green room.
David, forget about his compensation. I hope you got compensated well because the idea of, A, having to deal with someone pestering me for something that I booked, B, to get there and say, okay, I booked the guy. He shows up. We're good, right? Nope. You have all these adults.
I'm staggered that there are actual grownups who would behave in that way in terms of not in terms of features and autographs. Do the hurdle. Are you high? It's who has someone to just jump over. So, hey, you, you kind of leap at him and then you jump over him and split your legs. Who has something like that earnestly? Not as a joke. What about this one?
I mean, why are you laughing in David's face? Because the whole thing that he just gave us there was just to serve the last statement, which is he'd never been handled like that in an appearance before. He said it was the most professional, most awesome experience of his life.
Yeah. Is David leaving? Like, when is your contract up?
Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to David about this because the raising of the prices actually is β fairly standard, and David can fact check me on that. That's 8.6% across the board. Isn't that egregious? Including, I believe it's at 20% on some of the floor seats. The egregious part about it was, A, it comes on the heels of a lot of bad PR for the team locally.
B, the fact that in the letter to the season ticket holders, they said this is for investments in the team and in fan engagement. And C, this is perhaps the most egregious part, they name-checked, hey, if you sign up early, there are strong financial advantages to getting tickets such as the Lakers in April. And that one to me is like, the first person I actually thought of was David.
I said, David, how do you have such a breakdown in communication? Because Nico Harrison is not responsible for any of that, but... As an organization, there has to be some sort of unified voice on this. You can't be so tone deaf as to send to your season ticket holders, hey, remember the team we traded your favorite player to? Guess what?
If you sign up now for these increased season tickets, you'll get priority on these tickets against that player.
and you're saying, look, we need more money. Is there any universe where you say, maybe we freeze it for a year and then revisit this a year from now based on the incredible negative reaction that we've gotten over the last month?
Do you guys not like going to parties? Like, hey, if anyone has a vow renewal, just have an anniversary.
As long as there's an open bar, I'm there. Like, I'll celebrate love. I love love, as everyone knows. No, but you love booze is what you're saying.
You want the open bar. And well, I love that, too. But I love love.
To be clear, it's okay for Saquon Barkley to raise his rates because he won a Super Bowl, but it's not okay for a resort to raise its rates after... Hundreds of thousands of people, assuming, are now interested in staying there.
That's them of usury, which is, I believe, a biblical sin.
That's the devil I know.
To renewed vows. You sound like Skeletor.
Yeah.
I know Omar Dorsey, who plays the other guy in the show. So good. And based on the way he was talking, I don't think it's anything cast related in terms of financials or demands. I think this is just, you know, a decision made levels and levels above them.
I'm going to tap out of texting because I just realized. It's been a long time since I texted him. The first text back. And if I ask, hey, man, would you be willing to do the show on a different network? That makes it sound like I have a network that might be interested.
That's so weird. Just, hey, man, how's it going? Hope all is well.
Does a famous doctor make you a better doctor?
I'm sorry. If I already served the time, please don't wipe my sleep clean, especially after I die. That does nothing for me or my family.
I hear you, Jeremy. On the other hand, remember how he used to run to first base? Oh, he would slide and his helmet would fly.
The hustle.
We're going to tease it for later. But Amin and I were also working on a list of characters we most want to see die in White Lotus and least want to see die in White Lotus.
They are real and they're spectacular. Yes. A bit distracting at times.
I loved the first episode when the one woman was like, I love your teeth.
There's a lot of theories. Perhaps the husband is a nemesis of some sort and he's seeking revenge. Perhaps her husband is his father that he thought was dead his whole life.
Perhaps none of the above because sometimes the show gives you 10 red herrings and then none of them really end up mattering and then something completely different happens by the end of the season.
They really do, but they think that they love each other.
But they're realizing, ooh, do we have anything in common?
Right, like you have friends that you don't see that much. You all have your own lives. You all live in different places.
And then you're like, we need to do a girl's trip. And then you all do a girl's trip one year. And then you're like, oh my God, I actually don't really like you that much.
You don't appreciate the craft.
If you're familiar with the show at all, the opening scene of the first episode of each season, a dead body floats somewhere or there's like a reveal that someone has died in the first season. It was, oh, there's a body going on the plane. And then the whole season, you're like, who's the dead body leaving the island? So you're wondering the whole time who it is.
And then they just throw all these characters at you for like eight episodes, and then the last episode there's finally something happens, to Billy's point. It's a slow burn.
Perhaps one of the employees who was distracting the security guard was in on it, or perhaps the woman who was in the changing room, who is in a relationship with Greg slash Gary. Maybe she's in on it. Perhaps.
Goggins was like, she's obviously an escort. And his girlfriend was like, no, they're in love.
She's number one on my list of people I least want to see die.
I call him Malfoy because he's Malfoy. He's Lucius Malfoy.
I have another fan theory for you.
I have another theory for you that I saw. There's no spoilers in this because we don't know what's going to happen yet. We're only in episode three. But, however.
He's embroiled in some sort of money laundering scheme.
Yeah, he's number one on the list of characters I most want to see die.
And then he found out what the role was, and he was like, ugh.
Also, Mike White must be a basketball fan or just interested in sports in some way, because he made them all Duke people. and it's very unflattering.
Except for Parker Posey, who's a Carolina fan. Anyways, I digress.
The theory was in the first episode, she mentions that they normally vacation in the Caribbean, but this year they went to Thailand, and so perhaps she's aware that her husband's into financial crimes, and she's already stowed their money away in the Cayman Islands on previous vacations, and now they're going to be staying abroad because they can't get extradited from Thailand?
Yeah, her and Amy LeWood.
Or Belinda. I like Belinda, too.
Belinda's the one who's Tanya's masseuse in the first season.
That's true.
They use the word escort in the show, which is why I said escort, but I think sex worker is what people say.
And Adrian Brody.
Definitely don't say woman of the night.
No, I think... I think it's have you never like lost a friendship over your life because you've grown apart? Of course. No, no.
Right. I think these people are very wealthy and they're in denial that they aren't friends anymore or at least don't have anything in common anymore. And they're also, again, very wealthy so they can afford this, you know, all inclusive trip.
I don't understand what part of this you can't relate to.
You just live down the street from a bunch of people that are your age and it's just, you don't, you commiserate over chemistry class. Life's happened.
She has to do the vows first. Dan was the most likely.
And it wasn't an accusation if it's just a suggestion. Like, yeah, I think.
The only person I ever knew to renew their vows was my grandparents at their, like, 50th wedding anniversary. And at that point, it was way too late to get divorced.
This is serious.
Jeremy thought you were going to report that Pat Riley had cancer or something. He was freaking out back here.
There's a lot of filler in that show. And I'm not talking about the episodes being long sometimes.
Yeah, I really don't have a lot of skin in the game in the NBA.
The Warriors winning a championship with Jimmy would be really, really, really funny.
That's right.
By the way, wrong S, but we're all good. Did you guys catch Ron say Winders? He turned into a prospector there for a second. You got to get him away from the Winders. And I was like, oh. He knows everything about everything.
David, let me ask you something. Was this universal, like baseball ops, everybody or just? Everybody. You're in the office.
Would you call that... standard in baseball, or was that you, that was you putting your own little twist on it?
No, but the Yankees don't.
Most sports franchises, the guys, at least in ops, maybe the other, like marketing, whatever, but like for ops, everyone's wearing team-issued sweats, or like the polo or whatever. Like, that's... That's what we wore every day.
The first day of training camp. Like, you go down there, the equipment manager hands you this suitcase, you know, like the duffel bag, the team-issued duffel bag. Of swag? And it's just there. Because back then it was Adidas. Adidas was just sending us stuff. So it's like, okay, you get this. We got shoes. The shoes weren't cool shoes, but they were shoes.
Like now they're Nike and they're getting tech fleece and they're getting Air Maxes. And I'm like, oh, you guys get a great deal.
Stugatz. I think you could do it, Chris, because you did a great Charles Barkley. You're one for one there.
Maybe like 12% of my wardrobe as far as T-shirts and stuff is stuff that I bought. It's all free stuff. 12%, huh?
For sure. If I got free merch, I would wear the free. This is free. I'm wearing free merch right now. Not from Levitard, but I'm wearing merch. Look, where's my camera? If you have a business and you want to promote it, just send me merch. I'll wear it. Now, make sure it doesn't look ugly, but if it looks good. You hear that, Viore? Yeah, I'll wear it. I'll wear anything.
Jeremy, this is his version of getting rid of the tie.
That is what he said. That past version doesn't apologize either, though.
Let me tell you right now.
I love what's happened. There's 12 guys wearing the same exact thing. I love it. There are people complaining, like, I missed the days. I'm like, no, because the coach who makes $7 million a year and has a deal with the local tailor. And copyrighted three-peats. He gets to wear the nice stuff, and then everybody else has to scrounge up whatever they got from men's warehouse. And be Doug Moe. Yeah.
Y'all know, man. I like nice and clean.
Let me get to work. Speaking. Jeremy, here's the word for you. Sandalus. Go. Sandalus. Yeah, see?
He did not.
Right. So, first of all, this is the most read article in the history of ESPN. More than Deflategate, more than Tiger Woods crashing his car on Thanksgiving, more than any of those things. This was the most read article in the history of ESPN.com. Ethan Strauss wrote it. In 2016. In 2016. It's the example I bring up when I say the difference between news and transactions.
If you tell me, Luka Daja got traded to the Lakers. And I didn't get a newsbreaker. Shams doesn't report it. I don't see it on SportsCenter. And there's no press release. And the agent doesn't say anything. And the player doesn't go on to social media. How would I know that it happened? When I turned on a Laker game, I was like, hey, what's Luka Dodgers doing there? That's how I know.
So it's not news. I was going to find out one way or another. To me, news is stuff that we never were going to find out. When we found out that Tom Brady and Bill Belichick, hey, they actually hate each other, right, because of the great reporting of Seth Wickersham.
Exactly, stuff that, were it not for the work of these intrepid journalists, we would never know. So Steph Curry goes from Nike to Under Armour, and everyone says, Oh, you know, that happens all the time. Upstart company comes in, lots of money, stock options, whatever, and guys make the switch. But then Ethan wrote about how that came about. And it's a long story.
It starts with Kent Bazemore, of all people, who's a virtual unknown NBA player.
Yes, and he's the one that led the recruiting, pretty much, to bring him over. But the nail in the coffin was when Nike was presenting its kind of... Hey, this is our vision for your sneaker and your brand.
as the guy. He's a power broker within Nike, right? So all the, David, you would know, right? If you walk into what you perceive to be a big meeting, and then you walk in and it's like, these are all subordinates. These aren't the big dogs.
And I'll give Nico some grace here. It's not like he was like the intern or entry level. No. At this point, he is pretty elite within Nike. He's Kobe Bryant's rep. He's Anthony Davis' rep. Anthony Davis. Like a lot of the big names. He's not a schlepper.
He was not the number one guy. He was not the VP at the time. But also, I just want to make sure, he was not like the entry level guy. He wasn't the intern at all.
And they... He mispronounced his name.
That's the part where... I couldn't remember, but I don't think Nico was the guy that mispronounced him.
But people have taken that story out of context and turned it into Nico Harrison. Which people, now? Yeah. Why are we telling this now?
Red Sox.
Out. Mm. I once threw one out. Well, actually, I didn't throw it out. I almost framed it. I kept it in my desk. But he said his opening line was, I'll never forget this, I am writing to you on the advice of Pat Riley and Eric Spolstra. And I said... I've never spoken to either of these guys in my life. You're telling me the things. You're going to get out to Amino Hassan. He's the guy.
I'm like, but then I was like, I threw it away. Then I'm like, no, I'm keeping this one because it was just so ridiculous. Who knew 10 years later I'd be on speaking terms with Pat Riley and Eric Spoelstra.
but but david yes except that one was the one that was the right deal like you're right but that one of you know like a broken clock it turns out they hit perfectly on that one and you know who else hit perfectly on that one kent bazemore who's rich beyond everyone's wildest dreams now because He had Under Armour stock.
It was the number one selling basketball sneaker for the first- It was a sensation.
Yes. No, no. The top selling basketball sneaker. Including Air Jordans. Including Jordans because it was every, like all these youth teams, Under Armour was spot on.
Did Nike drop the ball?
But I know, but it's a high season. high-profile kind of marketing.
Hold on. Asia Wilson, Chris Cody. Jessica, if it were any harder of a launch, she'd be pregnant. That's what I'm saying.
You gotta have a bam cam the whole time?
No? Okay.
No, there was another. Where they canoodle it. There was an event here. I think, was it Udonis?
I thought it was something.
Or was it medal related when they got their medals? I think it was when they got their medals. Several is understating it. There was a point that I found out because I'm like, why is Asia Wilson at every Heat game? Mm-hmm. And someone was like, you idiot. She's a big Duncan Robinson fan.
Ron looks great.
I am not reporting that. I will confirm to you. They were dating well before the Olympics.
That's an Amin report, not a Jeremy report. That's an Amin report. Dude, Heat played at the Suns in Phoenix. I'm taking my kid to go meet Jason Jackson. And then Aja Wilson was like, oh, take a picture with Aja Wilson. And I'm like, why is Aja Wilson here? But I'm like, oh, Vegas, Phoenix is close enough. Dude, it took so many times. I felt like Dan finding out that John Amici was gay, right?
Like, what do you mean? It's like you're going to gay bars with them and stuff and Dan still doesn't get it.
No, not for that, but I just, oh, that's cool. You should get a picture of Asia Wilson. Oh, okay. But I do, we do, when we're watching the games, you see how he cut? See there, right there? We do that a lot.
Their stomach acid is a little stronger than ours, right? Because they eat so many things that have been decayed and dead, right?
Ron, I've never imagined birds having a sense of smell.
Oh, I thought you meant David Cassidy.
Ron, I got a question for you. You often talk about how animals, when they're around places with humans, they begin to learn certain habits. Like, oh, this is where we can find food because the humans leave them here.
It's in the eyes.
I had those pukas. I had those very same pukas, man. So, Ron, the animals pick up on human behavior activity and adjust accordingly to their lifestyle. Why is it birds keep flying into windows? Don't they ever learn? Aren't there any rumors through the bird world? Like, hey, guys. You hear what happened to Steve? Yeah.
The nose. There you go. He's got it all going on. That's David Cassidy. Ron nailed this. And usually even has puka shells on. Today he doesn't, but usually he does.
Do you not know this?
Have you seen the movie at least? There's a movie? Oh, I can't even.
That's a TV show. But I was singing the Blast of the Mohicans. Daniel Day-Lewis.
He's listening, by the way.
Dominique, you can be our scout on the ground and let us know how much fun is being had. Yeah, please.
The only thing I want to see from the Super Bowl content wise is Charlie doing his Dan impression to Dan.
What? Oh, my God. How excited was he?
We know he's probably said this in the nerdiest way possible, right? Can you do a Charlie impression, Dominique?
Oh, a little weak voice like that? That's exactly what Charlie's dad impression sounds like. You changed my life, Jaden Daniels. Thank you.
The Michael Jordan, the souls of Michael Jordan. Do you know that one, Amin?
Dominique, you got it.
I can't believe we're doing mash tag. It's not on a Greg Cody Tuesday. It is happening. That's so unexpected.
And then it's just like... Carmen can't be brave. They have no balls.
These are all SpongeBob bits, by the way.
No, I don't wear their men's shorts, but I wear several pairs of leggings.
Disagree.
We talked to Dominique. I miss Dominique.
You can. You can say that that's bad.
I also, I think we're like, the reason why this is also not just an owner thing, it's a GM thing, is because of how bad the haul was for Luka Doncic. That's where it's like, even if this is an owner thing, the GM's job is to like make those transactions make sense. And it just still doesn't really make a lot of sense.
I woke up in a good mood today. I was excited to come into work. That probably doesn't speak well to how I wake up other mornings.
Could have just said asshole. Because then you just said asshole. He actually did.
Guys, we're crushing this today. We're having so much fun. It's been informative. Chris Cody having the show of his life so far. Let's watch a movie. Asking good questions.
Wait, hold on a second. You're telling me Dan was awkward? I have to see this.
It's pretty awkward. And if you know Dan, you just know why it's awkward.
Yeah, what you just did with Pablo was more awkward.
I would put this under cringe, not awkward, though.
It's pretty self-explanatory title-wise, I think.
Yeah, right.
Do you crack your own claws because you don't want them to touch your crab claws before you eat them?
I'm surprised you don't ask for the cracker yourself.
I mean, I think you just want whoever doesn't suck at it to do it. Make good decisions.
Didn't you say you trade Mike Evans, too?
I don't remember crushing you for Mark Cuban takes.
I just want to establish that.
Darn tootin', only me. Her words are a siren's call to my libido. Losing all self-restraint, I sweep everything off my desk, sending my papers, phone, and pens, all clattering or floating to the floor, but I don't give a hoot. I lift Anna and lay her across my desk so her hair spills over the edge and onto the seat of my chair.
You want it, you got it, baby, I growl, shipping out the prophylactic and unzipping my pantaloons. making quick work of covering my doohickey i stare down at the insatiable miss steel i sure hope you're ready i warn her grabbing hold of her wrists and keeping them at her sides with one swift move i'm inside her whatchamacallit ah goodness me anna you're so ready
Bye.
There is, actually. What?
Okay, here it is. Adultery.
yeah well that was well there was also a second half without the pressure yeah well all i was asking you to do was proofread it to make sure it was it was to your liking okay i did by the way i want to melt the butter pablo and put it on popcorn how about that um no you handed it to me live on the air after i finally read it i'm like this is good i like the sub words you used
Well, you described me properly. I'm not going to debate any of that. People see my stubbornness as one of my loving qualities. And you know it. What are you talking about? My wife does. No, she doesn't. I was caught up in this weird... Quite the opposite.
I know. You didn't trust us. But in your mind, it also would have been funny if you tricked me and I thought I was reading. No. No, Greg.
Based on this setup, nobody. And let me tell you what's going to happen. I'm going to read it extra slow, and if I come upon a word that starts with a V as in victory, I'm going to crumble up the paper and throw it like a softball.
There's a number of words I can think of. You've got to give us vulva.
Vulva the car, yes. There's a number of words that I would not say. Woof.
Volvo car. You're the one. Somebody else read that. You read it.
I can't read Fifty Shades of Grey, but I'll do that again. Let's see what size they are. Are they the right size for Greg?
I am about 11 1β2.
Close enough. They look so good. Hey, 11 1β2! What were yours? These fit me perfectly. Should I try them on? Yes.
I can't even get these on.
You probably haven't wore high tops in how long? I haven't worn high tops. Last time I wore high tops, they were kids.
I mean, I made a lot of notes. All right.
Let's see how windy.
Wait a second. He has Hall of Fame notes, Dan. Hold on, Greg.
These can't be 11 and a half. Tight. Unless my feet have grown overnight. You want me to help you? My feet are still growing. Putting on high tops.
No help. No, I'm good.
Okay, I'm going to vote for Billy Wagner again. I always vote for Sheffield, and this is the last time he's on the ballot. Really? I always vote for A-Rod and Manny Ramirez. The new guys who are absolutely first ballot Hall of Famers are Ichiro, of course, and CeCe Sabathia. I have never voted for Andrew Jones, but I'm going to give him a long, hard look. This shoe fits me like a glove. Wow.
What did you say?
I'm going to give it a long, hard look, baby. Sounds like something out of Fifty Shades of Grey. A long, hard look. All right, listen. What else? Chase Utley? Nah. Forget about it. My man. Beltran? Sorry. Clothes don't count. I'm getting Mr. Rogers vibes right now. This is taking me back a little bit. Felix Hernandez? Nope. King Felix. You know what?
No, we love Ichiro. Ichiro's a first ballot guy 100%. These shoes... I'm floating on these shoes. Mike, I got to tell you, you're lucky. I don't know what that means. These are great. Thank you, Wu-Tang Clan. Something phobic. Kick your feet up.
I tell you what, I'm serious. Yeah. These shoes are magical. Mm-hmm. What do the kids say? What's a good verb for... These are not your... These are neato.
That was from Louis. Seriously, these are great. I love them. Thank you all. I appreciate it.
I'll be wearing these home.
No, I think that about did it. I only get 10 votes. I normally don't use all 10. Can you do a Riz face?
We like to think of it as postponed, right, Stu Gatz? Yes, exactly.
Of course it will.
My wife does that. If she trips and almost falls, she laughs as if at herself.
Yeah, a couple of things. Number one, as you referred to me, I'm the enemy of funny. You know, I'm a guy. That was off air. I'm a guy who really doesn't like to go along with the joke. That was off air. That was not an on air thing. But he's hurt by it, Dan. Okay. I mean, I'm the opposite of the enemy of funny, but you called me that. And I'm just curious why, like you had your dad reading them.
And now you're asking me to read them. Hmm. The old guys. I guess it's funny when an old guy reads something vulgar. You got it. That's a ticket. Well, yes, that's the trick. I just wanted to make sure I had that right.
You came up to me and handed me a sheet of paper live while we're on the air with Dan Patrick.
Oh, come on. Before I read it. What are we doing right now? I tried. This is like a weird tussle. Why don't none of you read it?
Come on. Because I'm the enemy of funny. Who said that? I've never done anything on this show.
Name that person.
Cuervo.
I'm not certain Mike can do that.
Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show.
bending down becomes increasingly hard was the last sentence that i just heard from stugat yeah it's uh bending's not what it used to be it's not not for me it hurts it hurts to bend it hurts to get out of bed it hurts to get out of my car it hurts aging hurts man you're feeling it too i know you are
But as it relates to Miami and Alabama, this is about the Alabama wins, is it not? I mean, they beat Georgia. They beat South Carolina. They beat LSU at LSU at a time LSU was ranked in the top 10.
Yeah, but you can watch them play against Georgia and Tennessee and LSU and say that team could win the national championship.
I think we can all agree on this. The problem is not Miami, Alabama. The problem is Boise State. Why do we need Boise State or a team like Boise State in the playoff? I want Alabama. I want Miami. I want Alabama, Notre Dame first round. I want Miami, Georgia first round. I don't want to see Boise State.
Yes. That's different. Thank you for your service. You don't want to see Jenty?
Mike, you're not listening to me. What I want to see is Miami and Alabama. I don't care about Jenty. That's what I want to see.
That factored into our decision to reschedule this thing, and that, and I demanded a synagogue.
They're going to put me in a church.
Jew gots.
That's a funny chicken.
Why is USF a measuring stick? Well, right.
I miss the BCL.
Tone.
Yeah. Wait, so you're going to an Art Basel event.
It's also a shadow show. You were asking Dan, right?
I lost it, too. I did. It's 57. And then you drive to work and somehow a few more creep back up. Damn.
I'm certain when Greg gets here, he will agree with your dad and call them slacks.
18?
That's nice.
One more?
Slacks. Slacks.
Wait, let me see your cakes, Taylor.
I meant I. I meant I. You said we, didn't you?
On behalf of Dan Labattari, Metal Ark Media will be donating $3 million. No, no, no, no, no.
Oops, there's lead in here. Hold on. How many of us think?
You came up with that so quickly. I got caught up in the air.
No one's ever like, I wish that my water machine told me jokes.
What if it played an April Fool's joke on Dan and was like, here's your orange water, and Dan was like, no!
No, but Mike was also looking for a pass. And if you didn't pass it, he was just going to steal it.
He's like, I'm getting in here with a question.
Wait, now we have to play the entire thing with the reply from the person that Dan was interviewing.
What is the worst part of the life?
To be fair, it was the first interview on the first day with someone from a sport that is not in our wheelhouse. She's shooting you bail. That would have maybe also not gone well even if Dan was here. That maybe perhaps needed, I don't know, Stugatz to be present for because he is the golf guy that has been absent for a month and a half.
I'm a dude. So, Jess, I appreciate you. Shut up, Jess.
Bucket. Bucket.
Thank you.
I'm taking the UConn Huskies in the Final Four against UCLA, minus 8.5. I think UConn's offense is too multifaceted for UCLA to handle. I think they win that game easily.
He had some wheels on him. It's shady.
Thank you.
That's what I was going to ask you, Dan, because to me it just kind of seemed like they were being cheap, not that they were trying to intentionally be declined by a college coach. Because that would make them look bad, but so does being cheap, I guess.
I think it's also fair to ask, is the Lakers' job better than the UConn job right now? For him specifically, given his family ties on the East Coast and his history there and the chance to chase history at UConn, the Lakers are kind of a mess right now.
They do not seem like a desirable place to go if you're someone with all the job security in the world and a lot of money living in Connecticut right What happens in two years when they're bad? You just get fired and then your previous dream job is not going to be up for you to take anymore.
I wonder what we'll do if J.J. Redick turns it down and gets a big raise at ESPN. What then? Because that would be... Everyone using the Lakers as leverage.
I would like to announce my candidacy for the Lakers head coaching job as well. Your move, Levitard.
To be fair, some of them are growing them ironically, but Ron's is very earnest. It is a very earnest mustache.
I don't either. Is it better to just be completely boneless and liquefied when you're being hit by a bull, or is it better to tense up? Hey, bull.
Different animals. I read that the woman who got flipped ended up getting released from the hospital and went back to the rodeo the next day. Wow.
But he's not wrong.
Ron, I wanted to ask you about Gertrude the flamingo, a 70-year-old flamingo that I read laid an egg recently at a nature preserve. How unusual is that for a 70-year-old flamingo?
Well, I did read that Gertrude was flirting with a 37-year-old male named Gil. So she's living my grandma's dream.
I think it started being back a few years ago, and honestly, I think it's at its peak right now. Now, if you're doing the mustache, you're on the tail end of it. You better do it quick, because it's soon to be gone, I think.
Greg, that picture of you where you have dark brown hair from The Herald, I want to say maybe 30 or 40 years ago, do you not have a mustache in that picture? I feel like I picture you. If you Photoshopped a mustache onto it, I would believe it.
I mean, you guys could do that. You all three could do it. Dan, you kind of have a mustache.
I've never seen your jawline, Dan. Yeah.
He was not doing a joke. He was just being a jerk.
I haven't seen Chris's jawline in a while either.
When did Tom Selleck get glasses?
No.
What?
Did you know Mark Harmon's book title is called that kind of thing?
Why would Mark Harmon have a book called that?
But people say you never know. No one really says that kind of thing.
By the way, it was called Me Maximum, the title of that book.
I'm sure.
Yeah, sure thing. Hey, you sold that car yet?
Oh, I thought you were selling to that guy.
Just like that?
No hassle?
That is super convenient. Sell your car to Carvana and swap hassle for convenience. Pick up fees may apply.
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I know you guys are telling me. I don't believe you.
It happened to me.
You're bailing on me?
Pepperdine's mascot is a wave, but waves can be strong. No, not someone waving down.
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For those keeping track, it's called Dalton, Dallas, or Dawson.
Don't give hints. All right, let's look at the first picture. Put it up, guys. Here we go. Very game show hosty. All right, Mina, sorry for the audio audience. Who is that? That's Dawson Knox. That is Dawson Knox.
Go ahead, Mina. This is easy because it's the same team. Yeah, that would be Dalton Kincaid. All right. Good job, video team. Probably should have gone with another one.
All right, let's do the next one with Mina. Mina, who's that? That's James Van Der Beek. And what was his famous character? Oh, Dawson.
All right, our final one.
Oh, wow!
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Nobody calls it either of those things. He's right. Wait a minute. Breaking wind is a common expression.
People know what that means, but people aren't saying that.
Yeah, the jumping Charlie. Exactly. How about the Chicago dogs?
You got her, like, sliding out from underneath the car.
He's killed it. I've said pet to my daughter, but she says toot. Whenever she farts, she's a big, I just tooted.
What does that have to do with it being called a pet, though?
That's exactly, that's what I mean. You could let a toot, you can blame a toot on a dog, too. You're acting like calling it a pet is, now I can blame my dog on it because I call it a pet. Because pets let pets.
All right.
I feel like it's like a net neutral because I feel like the three seconds before the fart, they're like, ooh, I got something. But then when they fart, they catch up to whatever they lost.
Imagine, like, you're an exterminator the first time you hear one. Like, what?
You know, I'll give you tonight. It's the games on TNT. I'm going to watch it as a hater. And I encourage all of our fans who are so sick and fed up of what are you rooting for? Jessica, you want him to score 50 or three pointer, three pointer, three point two, three, two, three, 50 points.
As a hater, I'm going to tune in just to hate on all of you.
I think Heat fans want some sort of skirmish so they can feel better about themselves. Look, this guy was so volatile. We're taking the high road. We're the better people.
What? Jeremy, you don't get the game.
I have seen it, and I don't know where it started. Me either. But it's just a bunch of LeBron videos.
Wait, what do you think about it, Zaslo?
I mean, Ryan Cortez is crying somewhere in his room.
There's no bad cheeses. It's good, but incorrect.
How much do you think the security deposit is that they're threatening to keep? Is it a million?
Wait, are you guys back on PubSubs? Because they're using Boar's Head, and I'm not going to lie, I'm still a little freaked out by the whole Boar's Head.
It was like an entire factory.
Do you mean raclette?
Yeah, I like that.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
So you can't digest or say digest.
We don't even have an orange.
You see, we're at the point in the saga where now you guys sound like people that have been dumped, and you keep wanting to rehash how the dumping happened. And I'm the friend who keeps having to hear about it. Thank you. Over and over and over and over again. And I'm like, hey, man, I know it was a really hard breakup, and I feel for you, but we need to move on now.
And Derek Hill and Liam Hicks. Yeah.
Yeah, and the girl always looks so much worse in a couple years. But you're going to look really good because you're going to go to the gym. You're going to get your life turned around. You're not going to keep falling into the same patterns that you've been falling into your entire life. This is really when change starts.
And you're going to look so good. You're going to look so much better.
How about L-no for Tony? He's on my shit list this week.
Have you seen it, Dan?
He did.
And he hates my dog all of a sudden. I don't know why. He's on my shit list.
Okay, Al yes or Al no. Me bringing my dog to work that everyone loves. Oh. Al yes. You don't work at a grocery store, right? You're right. This is not a grocery store. Then we're good. Although someone should tell Gino and Jason that.
Well, it's the kind of thing if you're going to bring up, you have to kind of be sure that the guest knows exactly what you're talking about.
She probably saw it and forgot about it because it wasn't like that big of a deal.
But that doesn't mean that someone that covers the sport for a living, it's probably the 5,000th thing she'd think of when she thinks of Kimoki. You cover the sport also.
Yeah, I mean, I thought Elle was going to back me on that one. As someone who travels a lot, you want your own stuff. I mean, look at this. This is sensitive skin. I want my own soap. This is what happens when you shit on my dog.
As opposed to not using any kind of soap?
Nah, I'd use what they supply me.
Maybe it writes.
I don't either. Now I feel weird.
I'm a dove guy. I'm actually allergic to a fragrance called linalool.
Yeah, I found this out last summer. I did one of those patch tests on my back.
It's in every product.
I have to go scent free on like every soap and shampoo and conditioner. Couldn't find a purple shampoo without fragrance in it.
No, Dan's the one that can't eat anything.
I am just sent free, and I can't have wheat, barley, or rye.
No. This head right here needs special treatment.
Rockin' any combos. Wait, aren't you bald? Whoa. I can't grow hair. I shave on... It's my preference. I shave my head.
I don't know. I've never seen your head before. I have hair. I shave it. It's not like I can't grow any hair. I shave it.
Well, Dan. No, no, no. On that note.
But we have a new game to play.
What? It's Marlin or Panther.
Do you think you would be good at this game? I do. I am good at this game. Well, then let's have fun.
People are going off the A, net worth, B, greatest of all time, C, Air Jordan, Nike, like coolest shoes ever.
Force, Space Jam. Well, I think that's a reason to not be Michael or a Magic Johnson. But there's so many reasons why you'd want to be Michael Jordan. That's all I'm saying.
Yeah, Michael Jordan had twins like a few years ago.
I'm almost at the dream.
From both of them being gone, I am five years away.
No, they're going to be ready to go when the time is right. And then it's all about me and my wife in the Zaslow mansion just doing what we want.
When do you change it? I've always had a mansion.
No, I make mistakes. I've never been there before. Like the Meerkats. No, I have a mansion.
I don't know.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'll see you next time.
Thank you.
I'll see you next time.
Yeah, Elle, you talked about USC's chances. I want to get to that in a second because they are still a one seed, and Kiki Iriafen obviously is one of the best post players in the country, and she had a really great game after Juju went out last night, but this is unfortunately such a common thing in women's sports to see knee injuries.
It's happened to other great players right before the tournament. Liz Kitley comes to mind, Olivia Miles obviously, and it really impacted both of those teams' chances of winning a national title. What do you think will happen next.
I mean, there's obviously a tough matchup in the Sweet 16 round for USC now against a really good Kansas State team that just got some of their players back from health stuff. So do you still see them making a deep tournament run?
I was about to say the same thing, actually. Going from Paige giving the interview in stores and then Gino talking about Paige's legacy, and then it happened like five minutes into the next game. It was the last game of the second round. It was really kind of strange to see. So, I mean, obviously it's still early.
We don't exactly know the nature of the injury, but you would say we probably will see Juju Watkins back 2026, 2027 season? Yeah.
L-yes to the yellow pants that Elle was wearing the other day that I texted her about. Elle, those were phenomenal pants. Thank you. They're very bright. Not ripped jeans, but I love them.
I just said L-yes to her yellow pants.
L yes or L no to LSU upsetting NC State.
L. Yes or L. No. Jimmy Butler sticks it to the heat tonight.
L! Like, I... I want my soap, all right? I like my brand of soap. I don't want to rely on the hotel that I get set up in in Norman, Oklahoma or in Athens, Georgia. I want my soap. I bring a soap dish.
Like, what's your soap? The one my wife buys for me.
You guys must run into like spring breakers all the time down here this time of year. We ran into a few on Saturday. Okay, well, maybe not where you live. But Dan, I'm sure you do occasionally. I'm walking my dog and there are these like drunk.
20 year olds coming up to us on the sidewalk saturday night and they're like oh my god what a cute dog and they're like petting her so aggressively and we're like trying to just like okay you're you're a little intoxicated it's spring break we understand we're gonna we're gonna keep moving along and there's like these like hordes of college kids chasing us down the sidewalk trying to pet our dog yes that is spring break in miami it is well what they've um
When you got to go.
I like North Miami Beach. Underrated part of the beach. It is. There's a dog beach up there.
He grew up there.
It took me an hour and a half to get to that Flanagan's.
I would be surprised if he didn't know. He gave me the Cubs' entire opening day lineup for the game last week.
This is...
That's a good idea. Let's do that one.
Who wouldn't know of the Tool of the Week Hall of Fame?
Thank you.
You guys need to be nicer to him. So he didn't buy it? The team gave it to him. You stole it.
Well, okay, that's not true.
Jeremy's paid by the regional network. Okay.
Billy, that might be the stupidest question that you've ever asked.
The talking points this week were the Jimmy Butler tribute video to get a gauge for what the fans want, to get a gauge for what the reaction's going to be, right? You're told to put feelers out there on the tribute video.
I feel like this game has been, it just needs to happen already because we've been talking about it for so long. We just need to get this over with.
That's what I was about to say. 50-point game from Jimmy Butler. Crushes the Heat. I will go run a lap around the Kasaya Center tomorrow morning.
Just give Trevor the microphone, please. Dan, that's totally something you would ask.
That's not... What a joke by Dan. Seriously. Isn't that what you pictured, though?
That is a mischaracterization of the conversation that we had. I mean, I'm sure she has had work done, but I wasn't like, yeah, Greg, she's had work done.
Annoying is a funny word. No one is afraid to say she looks great. She does look great. She looks great.
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Their marketing is getting out of control, by the way.
I think it's good that there are more movies getting recognized for being well-made movies, even if they don't really have a chance. But they're not really, right?
No, they are. I haven't seen a bad movie yet. I've seen movies that I was like, this isn't the best thing.
Even Amelia Perez, I didn't care for the story, but it's a well-made movie. I could see it getting nominations for editing and production and stuff like that.
Which role specifically do you think you could play from White Lotus? You know what?
You could do Jason Isaac's role.
What about my role? You know, I do think you could play her ex-husband.
And it's like 80 bucks, too.
I've won some money there, too.
Greg Cody thinks he can do Goggins? He just said he could do Jason Isaacs like five seconds ago. Greg, I think you could actually play Greg in the show.
No.
He was only in the other two seasons.
How do you grade your performance in ballers, Dan?
Letter grade, A plus through F minus.
You could have named a women's player then.
Anyone in the history of the sport.
Do you really feel like you need to invite Mike Ryan to do a victory lap? We'll just do it.
It's also hard to rebuild in the draft if you win because you're punished for winning. But they don't win.
Well, you won the one time.
He's so mad we're talking about this without him.
I kind of enjoy when the sky is falling with the Miami heat. It's better than when the Miami heat are good and then everyone's pumping their chest about it. This is the kind of... conversation I actually enjoy.
So you had to draft second to last.
That was like six years. That was before COVID.
If you're Dan, it's not farty. You know that.
I will say the trailers I saw before the movie I watched yesterday didn't look that good. One of them was like a Rami Malek iRobot meets Taken trailer.
It just didn't look interesting.
Exactly. He's like a tech guy and he's trying to get revenge for his wife.
That was a while ago.
Pre-COVID times.
Yes. I think that was in the Bohemian Rhapsody era.
The two and a half minute trailers, I do feel like I've seen the movie at some point. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
That's very silly.
Unnecessary. We don't need municipal services. I think that part of the thrill of going to the theater is sort of ballparking when the movie's going to start. Like yesterday I walked in right at showtime. Dangerous game. Perhaps for someone who is not a seasoned moviegoer veteran because we were perfect timing. You don't like the trailers?
No, I do, but I want to kind of get there right as the trailers are ramping up. So I've got like six or seven minutes and then I'm cozy by the time the movie starts.
I think there's been a resurgence of theater going in the last couple of years. Yeah, especially because there's been so many good movies that have come out. Dune 2 in theaters, I mean, a spectacle.
I do. I do think there's a threshold of ticket prices at which maybe attendance will drop because it's getting very, very expensive to go to games like. Very, very expensive. And not good games sometimes. But I think the in-person experience at a theater is still something you can't get at home, just like the in-person experience at most stadiums and arenas is something you can't get at home.
So you're paying to have the experience, not just to watch the game.
I didn't like Nosferatu that much.
No, it actually wasn't the mustache. I just thought the middle portion was a little boring.
Did you like it?
Was it romantic? Like watching it with your wife?
That wasn't really the message we got.
You would love it. There's a really good baseball scene in the first movie.
I have one ginormous hurdle in my way. The Oscars are indeed this week, Sunday, March 2nd, I believe is the date. The Brutalist. It's three hours and 35 minutes long. And that is my last hurdle.
How intrigued do you need to be to entertain?
I actually get a fourth one.
Mm hmm.
Yeah. I think he can reel me back in with season four. If season four is good, I'll be back in. I think the common criticism, Dan, was that the finale was unearned. It was just not... A lot of it was a little predictable.
And that is a bummer because I think the first couple seasons, the way the characters die in the first few seasons are totally absurdist and unpredictable. And the way the characters die in this season was in a sad shootout at a resort.
We did this in Star Wars like 40 years ago. Like it was that part. Yeah, it was just a little.
I did not.
Here, I think what the problem is, Dan, there was enough in the finale that we're not writing off the show completely. There was enough moments. Then it's not a legacy game. Gary Coon's monologue was a moment. There were other small moments. Saxon having his tearful look back at Chelsea after he realized that he's soulless. How was he the one that grew the most? Yeah, it's a great question.
I mean, yeah, there was like a ton of foreshadowing that something weird was going to happen.
Not that much. Mike White gave us enough.
We're willing to suspend the legacy conversation until season four ends.
It's got to be good. It's got to be good.
Oh, you didn't interrupt me, Dan. I listened to Nate's podcast with Charles and I'm a huge fan. And he's he like he said, he's basic. He wants to see where the quarterbacks go. I'm also basic. I want to see where the quarterbacks go. And right now, there's obviously been a lot of news about Shadur Sanders. Where is he a reach? Where is he sort of a good pick?
Like, are the Steelers going to take him at 21? Where do you see that unfolding?
He made an ultimatum, it sounds like.
The college football side of it is why I mean, I'm a fan of the NFL and college football, but like you said, I love seeing players that I watch play in college get drafted. And usually, especially in the first round, it's like their dream come true. It's like the best day of their lives unless they get drafted to the Giants or something like that.
But I was going through your one of your mock drafts in the car yesterday. I was on like a seven hour car ride and Lehman was just naming players and I was giving their positions and where they went to school just because we were bored. And it seems like a really deep draft for Ed Rusher specifically. Is that the position group that you think has the most value later on in the later rounds?
Nate, while we're doing player comps, what tier of prospect is Ashton Genting? A historic season, but is he historically a good running back prospect? The speed and power don't jump off the screen like someone like Adrian Peterson's did. Yes, I'm reading that from your quote skeets because you said it was a good question.
Can you believe Indiana made the playoff before Wisconsin did?
Nate, our guy, our special boy, Riley Leonard, Naughty or Tice, day two player this year.
I thought you were talking about The Last of Us 2, which, by the way, season one was really scary, so I decided I'm not going to watch season two, but I am going to lurk. I'm going to be aware of it.
No, the last part, 100% agree with you. I was not really sold on the emotional arcs of several of the characters this season simply because I just don't think the writing was as tight as the first couple seasons. I think there was just not enough to make me really invested.
It's a very entertaining show. And I just think that the characters in this season weren't the strongest, especially compared to the first two seasons, which were shorter seasons and shorter episodes and sort of had delivered more of a punch.
Can you be intrigued by something but not be entertained by it? Because I think entertainment is intriguing sometimes.
But if you're intrigued, you must be a little bit entertained to be intrigued. I'm interested.
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Did they notarize their complaints?
What was the first part of the complaint that was sent to you?
No, before that.
That's not true.
Well, you didn't start with the beginning of the sentence like I asked. Oh, my fault.
So there was a closed-door meeting last week where there was not supposed to be any sort of video or audio recording, but apparently it was so bizarre that reporters that were invited were eventually able to write from their transcript and report on it. And then this, I believe... the most recent press conference where he was on camera was, like, the end of the season one.
So that was why there were two different. But the first one, I think, like, a lot of reporters were saying was just kind of weird and unnecessary.
Probably... Control it more? Yeah, to, like... I don't know.
Get a gauge on what he was going to be asked in this one, I guess. The gauge. I'm not sure.
Yeah. And just to add more context as so Tim Cato, who's worked in the Dallas market as like a NBA reporter for a long time. I used to work with him at SB Nation. He wrote it at the end. I didn't feel it was that transparent. That's the thing that stood the most out. If you're going to do it in this way, if you're going to have just a very select number of media members.
You're not going to film it. You're not going to televise it. At this point, why not be more transparent about the exact workings of the thing? If you're just going to say the same thing over and over again, defense wins championships when the defense was a top 10 defense after the trade deadline last season, that defense helped them get to the NBA finals.
So basically, even the reporters were not sure exactly why they went about the PR in this way. But to Dan's point, this is obviously a catastrophe, and so they're not handling it.
Well, he's also like in Tim Marchman's story or the ESPN story, he said that Cuban was completely pushed out of basketball operations. So now he's saying that he has nothing to do with this. He's being honest, which is what you're saying you want from Nico. But when you actually are getting honesty from him, you're saying you don't want it.
And it ended up not being true. It wasn't possible. But I think the more apt comparison is that he bought the house and then he hired a contractor to make a bunch of...
updates to it but that contractor wasn't very good at his job and then when he left in the house fell apart he was like I I would have never made those decisions but you're the one that put the person in place that made them so to your point yes like I think there's plenty of blame to go around
At this point, if you're a Knicks fan, I'm curious if you'd rather just lose the series to Detroit and then maybe some real change will happen in the offseason. I don't know what that change will be, but clearly this team, you went big. You're not near Cleveland or Boston. Do you at least want to beat the Pistons and then lose miserably to the Celtics? I'm not sure which is better at this point.
But losing at MSG in Game 2 like that was pretty bad for this team. And it's been sort of apparent for at least the second half of the season that the additions that the Knicks made were... Not going to really move the needle on this being a championship.
I was on the ESPN trade thing with Taylor this morning. How do we keep Cat but get Dante back but maybe get rid of Bridges? And maybe we need a few more picks. I don't know how we do that. I don't know why I'm saying we. I'm not even a Knicks fan. But I do miss Dante. And he would have been helpful on this team.
I was actually just thinking about the time I saw Zibanejad on the LIRR.
With Capo Caco.
Georgia never left. They're in the playoff. I'm guaranteeing it right now. They never left the playoff. I know they're on the outside looking in, but that was just to make us talk about it. They're fine. I agree with you.
Georgia, same with Miami.
Das ist eine groΓe Verantwortung dieses Kommittees, um mich mit einem Spiel aufzunehmen, den ich sehen mΓΆchte.
Willst du zurΓΌck in zwei Playoff-Teams gehen? Nein, danke.
Mike, what I'm saying benefits Miami. It benefits Notre Dame. Those are the teams I want to see in the playoffs every year.
I know, but Jess, their strength of schedule is 106th in the country.
I've never seen Mike angrier.
Well, it's FIU, right? Nobody says Florida International. You know what Army is, Greg? Army is Army.
Thank you.
Uncle Paul. Oh, Uncle Paul.
Yeah, tight budget.
I have plenty of things planned for all the people who have contributed to Stugatz's personal record book. Every single one of them and they will receive a personalized letter from me or a phone call depending on which is easier and how busy I am. They will. Sie werden. Sie werden. Sie werden.
Look forward to it. I didn't even get a book. They haven't. That doesn't mean they won't. They just haven't. It kind of means they won't. No, it doesn't. It doesn't.
Sie kΓΆnnen in die HΓΆlle gehen, okay? Ich kΓΌmmere mich nicht darum, was sie denken, was sie wollen. Ich will die Match-Ups, die ich will. Ich will groΓe Marken in den College-Football-Playoffs. I want Mississippi, I want Alabama, I want Tennessee, I want Georgia, I want Texas, I want Texas A&M. Is Mississippi a big brand? It's an SEC team.
So then all of the SEC teams are a big brand if Mississippi is a big brand? I mean, for the most part, I'm leaving out LSU. But I want the biggest teams and the biggest brands in the college football playoff. That's what I want. What anyone else wants, that's up to them. But I'm telling you what I want, Dan.
I want to see matchups that we rarely see in a post-season environment in college football.
Aber sie mΓΌssen ein kleines Spiel zu Ohio State verlieren. Ich glaube nicht. Ich denke, sie mΓΌssen. Wenn sie ausgelassen werden, werden sie nicht ins Spiel kommen.
Stugatz. Stugatz.
I think we're coming down too hard on Greg for saying that they're a Tier 2 team in his AFC. I think Tier 1 is 2 to 3 teams. Greg's being fair. Houston's right there among those upper level Tier 2 teams. But to get to an AFC Championship game, assuming they win their division, all they have to do is win one road game against the likes of a Pittsburgh or a Kansas City.
I think the AFC has shown you, even Kansas City is as good as they've been. They're in tight games. If you play Lamar Jackson in the playoffs, as Houston did last year, that can be close, as Lamar has shown throughout his playoffs. So I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility at all.
Ja, ich denke, das ist ein real bad look for you.
What you do at the final third of your illustrious career is your business and I'm sure you have your fans and if you have a studio in your home, more power to you.
Ich bin interessiert, warum du das an ihm beobachtest. Du bist berΓΌhmt ein Dolphins-Fan. Du gehΓΆrst zu deinen Heimteams.
Nein, er macht es in den Schatten.
I invite that. Wow, man. I think you guys are playing with fire. I've seen these things go sideways with Greg. You're calling into question his integrity as a journalist, and he's going to start taking this personally. I take it personally already. He's playing on the back end of a back-to-back on a bad arm week.
Going down a direction that you're not going to be able to come back from, pal.
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Nein, ein Kindle. Oh, okay. Das erinnert mich daran, dass unsere Schlafzeichen hier in unseren Offizieren Braille haben, aber sie haben keine Textur dazu. Es ist nur Braille, die geprintet ist.
Ist das nicht die blΓΆde Medien? Nur die Optiken, die wir tragen.
It might be like building code required to do it, but I guess like the follow-through of actually making it braille, like for real, as opposed to something that looks like braille.
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Es war wahrscheinlich das erste Mal, dass sie den Ruf geΓΆffnet haben, in ganz viel Zeit. Also, ich glaube, ΓΌber den extremen Break von eigentlich ΓΆffnen. Ja, einige Teile, einige Teile fielen.
Do they have the same record as Baltimore right now? They made it to the divisional round last year.
I don't think they're very far. Maybe I'm more bullish than them, but I think them with their full complement of receivers, I know Diggs is injured now too, but Nico Collins does make a difference there.
Jim Harbaugh kam in die Liga als ein Typ, der mit Quarterbacks sehr gut funktioniert. Er hatte Josh Johnson in San Diego, als er in den College Ranks war. Dann hatte er Andrew Luck und dann... was er mit Colin Kaepernick gemacht hat. Das wurde sein IdentitΓ€tsbild. Aber in der Schule zeigte er sich, welches Spiel er spielen mΓΆchte. Das ist sehr komplementΓ€r zu einem hartnΓ€ckigen Defensiv-Style.
I'm a big Texans guy, though, to put a bow on it. Will Anderson being in and out of the lineup, I think defensively they have enough pieces. I really highly rate their head coach and his ability to scheme on the defensive side of the ball. And they have offensively a ton of weapons. When they have Wenn sie nicht sind, hat CJ Stroud gezeigt, dass er sie nicht mit all seinen Waffen ΓΌbernehmen kann.
No, it's a zip line.
A zip line.
Can you feel that warmth, guys? It's nice and toasty in here. It is time for our toasted bracket update, sponsored by Jimmy John's. And they're finally here, guys, and they're hot. Try the new toasted sandwiches at Jimmy John's. Order one today. How warm is it in here? It's a little too warm. I'm in a sweater. Probably shouldn't have worn a sweater for this toasted segment.
Right, like I had Florida going far, and then I was just like, what am I doing?
Get out of here, Florida.
Against your friend's team.
Bringing in a Jimmy John's thing.
I feel like I'm toasted enough. This is good.
But I'm excited because I filled out my bracket yesterday. Oh, you did? And I have two one seeds. Let's go around the room because everyone's afraid of chalk. I got two one seeds in my final four.
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They yelled at John Goodman for like ten minutes. It's so funny.
They're going to be so mad when they find out how much they cost now.
Oh, wait. Air this tomorrow.
Do what you want to do.
I like when you take the steering wheel, and you take charge, and you say, you know what? Screw you, everyone.
They limit two per person in our grocery store now. Yeah.
The thing you just spoiled was from season three. That's not a spoiler.
All right, TBD what we do about Spoiler Wednesday.
I know people are really into The Pit on HBO, but I haven't watched it yet.
He got so food poisoned on St. Patrick's Day that he puked on the court at a Knicks game. Give it up for Trace.
It was disgusting.
A horrible color.
Greg, have you ever had violent food poisoning? Like, you can't control what's coming out of you.
This is making me sad. Yeah.
It's not worth it when you feel that bad.
Male practice players have been a thing in women's basketball for as long as I've been alive, at least decades, decades and decades and decades. But like Billy said, they put out this tweet and all of these creepy responses were like just making horrible comments about the players on the team. And she was like, hey, this is weird.
And maybe we need to do a full background check on every single person that we're bringing into our facility.
They were just down here in Miami, weren't they? I saw signs for bananas parking for like three weeks.
God, you're so earnest. Oh, fathers and sons.
Hey, why is it so boring? I thought this was supposed to be fun. This is America's game.
But Greg, let people like what they like. No one's making you go watch it.
I bought a Cheeto last week. That was $90,000. Yeah.
i agree with that's ridiculous okay the charizard cheeto looked like yes we all agree we all agree if you saw that cheeto if you pulled it out of the bag to be like holy shit that's charizard this is supposed to be an air jordan jump man cheeto and i thought it was going to be the air jordan logo it's not he's like in he's making a layup i i don't know what this is asinine he's yeah he
Do you guys remember the astronauts that were stuck up in space? Well, they're finally coming home. Wow.
Is it at 6 a.m.? Because I kind of liked waking up to 6 a.m. baseball. I listened to it on my drive into work this morning. I watched it in the makeup chair.
It's a good vibe, but... I think he just has a good side, because, like, in pictures, I'll tilt my chin down to the left a little bit, because, like, I want more of my good side showing straight on. I, you know, asymmetrical face.
Like nine months. They were supposed to be up there for a week. And then something happened to their craft, their spacecraft that got sent back home without them. And now there's finally a crew going to the ISS to replace them and, I guess, rescue them. So they're coming back.
There's an ongoing contentiousness between our show and some of our fans.
in general, but also specifically about spoilers. I have gotten a lot of feedback over the last month or so, but also four years that we spoil things and that we don't give good spoiler tags before we talk about things. And this is ramped up in the last three weeks because we've talked about White Lotus, which the first four episodes were kind of a spoiler spoiler list show.
In my opinion, nothing really happened. But also you gave away on Monday that Spoiler alert for Righteous Gemstones, episode two of season four. Walton Goggins had a nude scene in the first act of the episode, which some people felt was a spoiler and we should have warned them.
I gave a spoiler tag.
I mean, I do agree that it was, I would have preferred to not know it was coming, but it didn't like ruin the episode. And also people were mad last week when we said that the first episode of the season was just a Civil War. Yeah, I watched it. Bradley Cooper. Which I also disagree. We're not saying like, oh my God, Tony Soprano shot Pauly Walnuts in the head. Those are spoilers.
That doesn't happen in The Sopranos, by the way. Well, I guess that's a spoiler that it doesn't happen.
Dude, no, Survivor has an insane cult following. I have a bunch of friends that are like so into Survivor. They're texting about it in our group chat nonstop. I have no idea what they're talking about half the time, but they're like super into it. But I'm with you, Billy. I think... Generally, we're trying to do our best when it comes to spoilers. We're trying to do our best.
Yeah, I think that there's also debate, Dan, over what actually is a spoiler. Saying that someone's going to be naked in an episode, to me, like, yeah, I'd rather be surprised by it, but I wouldn't consider that a spoiler because it's not part of the plot, right? So people getting mad about, like, oh, finding out the first episode has Bradley Cooper in it.
Like, you would have found that out within two seconds of the episode airing.
And it's a Wild Billy Wednesday.
The other thing, Billy, is if you really, really don't want a show spoiled and it's going to ruin your life if you find out, maybe... Don't watch it when it airs.
If it's that important to you.
Really mad people. I'm not saying people that are like, I'm so annoyed. I'm talking about people that are pissed.
And I understand people are mad because Bubba Cunningham is the athletic director at North Carolina. I understand all that. I do understand why fans are upset about that. But we are sort of splitting hairs here.
Also, like, North Carolina is not even in the bubble conversation if they upset Duke, I think, which we saw at the end. That was a devastating way for that game to end. And I'm glad on that player's behalf it wasn't his last college basketball game because it was a tough scene.
My children were sobbing at the TV. They were so upset.
You're asking us if we know where Stugatz is?
It delayed the game for like 10 minutes, too. And then he had to get wheeled out in a wheelchair. It was very, yeah.
It was amazing. The conference dangles player of the week over his head and is like, you got to apologize.
This kid was born in 2004. I feel like he can get away with the immaturity excuse.
That's a ridiculous age to be born.
People born in the mid-2000s in college.
Dan, you go first.
I'm glad we make those. I didn't know we actually did that around here. That's good. Hey, video team. Pat yourselves on the back. Or Chris, whoever did that.
The person two seats over is like Ben Stiller, so.
Just the emergency numbers, right?
I agree with you on the potential rematches in the final four if all the one seeds make it. I think that that is annoying. For them to be like, well, we're not paying attention to that, but then they have TCU and Louisville in the same little section with Haley Van Lith for the second year in a row, potentially playing her old school. I'm like, you are paying attention a little bit though, right?
Like, I feel like I'm being gaslit a little bit.
If you were a player on West Virginia, this would embarrass you, right? You don't want this. Obviously, you want to make the tournament, but you didn't. You lost some games that you needed to win to make it in. But then if you saw this, you'd be like, OK, wait, can we just back up a second?
There are sub-500 teams since January 1st. Like this, I understand being upset that, you know, we do this in college football all the time. The teams that don't get in and the head coach or the athletic director or the conference commissioner advocates for them and goes on ESPN and complains and blah, blah, blah. But like the governor of the state is doing it. And it's like that.
If I were a player, I would be like, OK, you know what? Fair. But I should have made my free throws.
That's true. Yeah. Also, Ron DeSantis did get involved when Florida State got snubbed from the CFP last year. Which, again, if I were a Florida State player, I'd probably be like, uh.
Okay, but that's not fair. North Carolina was one lane violation from beating Duke. I understand why people are mad North Carolina got in, but also they played well in the conference tournament and they almost upset the best team in the conference. So I understand it. Obviously, you have to make hard choices when you're talking about bubble teams in any sport. You're splitting hairs, right?
Because if they were for sure in the tournament, you wouldn't have to have this debate about them being on the bubble or not. But... You're splitting hairs between quad two wins, quad one wins, net rankings, all this conference tournaments, upsets, who they've lost to, how many losses they have. There's never going to be a great option.
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Did you love it?
That's exactly right. They start the game hot, starting lineup, kind of no matter what the starting lineup has been recently. 9-0. 9-0 last night. It was 12-0 last night. And they were up, I believe, 27-14. And then they brought in a certain backup point guard. And things went awry. And all of a sudden it was 33-31. And this has been the issue for Miami. They go up 13. They go up 17.
And they haven't been skilled enough to end teams early in the game. Go up 25 or 30. They let teams get back into it. And you have a single-digit score at the half. And then everything goes awry in the second half.
A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B, a little bit of column C. Everybody's failing right now. They've lost eight games in a row. It's the most games in a row Eric Spolstra's ever lost as a head coach. Hot seat, or what do you think?
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Sucks for the Warriors, huh? They're terrible. Stinks for Jimmy Butler. Man, crazy. They lost a game?
Right, so what are you doing? And you know that the best hitter in a lineup now more often than not bats 2nd. Yeah, that's a new thing. Is that right? Yeah, it's new.
What's crazy for Obi Toppin is he had a historic night last night in Pacers history. Not only did he hit the game winner, but he joined Paul George as the only Pacers ever to... To have multiple games in a season with 30-plus points, 10-plus rebounds, and 5-plus made threes. Like, Obi Toppin is having one of the special Pacers seasons. It's so bizarre. Maybe Mike tries to sell it now. Oh, then.
About a decade ago.
and when you're talking about trying to get eyeballs at a specific time, like Netflix is trying this right now. Last week, they debuted John Mulaney's new show. Everybody's live where they took something that they did for a week and had people tuning in every night for one week.
Now they're, I believe this is going to be a 12 week run where every Wednesday night they're doing something live and the way they're producing that show is, is such a, honestly, not dissimilar to this, where it's this high wire act of, are they gonna mess something up?
And watching that live, I find myself, as someone who knows I could watch it the next day or the day after, purposefully tuning in live because I kinda wanna see if they can pull it off. And that type of programming is interesting, seeing a late night show that is putting themselves in the position to not just be clips.
Like, we all saw what happened when Tony Hinchcliffe got a national microphone and the way that people reacted to that. And I would imagine the people watching Kill Tony who hear those types of jokes all the time know that when it gets to mainstream and when it gets to Netflix, either some of that stuff around the periphery is going to get squashed out in the mainstream or it's going to kill Tony.
McAfee's tame in comparison to what we're talking about. OK, but not tame for Disney. Like, no, but he's gotten away with a lot of stuff that normally wouldn't have happened at Disney. And then there were also conversations about Aaron Rodgers and others that changed because he was there. At the very least, it becomes a controversy, even if the end result remains the same way. Right.
You're right. And in that respect, I don't know that anything will change. I just think that I would imagine most of the people who have that specific niche audience that's watching Kill Tony on a regular basis are probably looking at any sort of corporation, any sort of mainstream anything.
And what it's been for the last decade or so would mean that some of those jokes that are made on their show wouldn't get to a national platform. I think we've seen a shift. I think we've seen a shift in what's allowed and what's prevalent in our modern conversation. So maybe they won't have an issue.
So I've been trying to be a little healthier here at the start of the year. I didn't exactly do that through a lot of last year. And it's really important to, you know, find the right ways to be able to eat and exercise. And if you're ready to optimize your nutrition this year, Factor has chef-made gourmet meals that make eating well possible. Easy.
They're dietitian approved and ready to heat in just two minutes. So you can fuel and feel great no matter what life throws at you. Factor arrives fresh and fully prepared. Perfect for any active, busy lifestyle like those of us in the shipping container. But with 40 options across eight dietary preferences on the menu each week, it's easy to pick meals tailored to your goals.
Choose from preferences like calorie smart, protein plus or that keto diet. Reach your goals this year with ingredients you can trust and convenience that can't be beat. And guys, I can tell you this from my own personal experience. The honey mustard chicken meal is absolutely delicious. It literally tastes like you're going to a restaurant. I've really been enjoying Factor Meals.
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We're going to skip past he's never heard of Gunnar Henderson.
Cuervo.
Did you include the brackets from like races, right? That's where you sort of put like the rubber bands when you're trying to fix the way that your overbite might work. That did not make the... Wow, oh, a lot.
No, the NFL is infringing on the college football playoff. They are putting two games on Saturday, the first ever Saturday with college football playoff games. We have Chiefs, Texans, and Steelers, Ravens. It's ridiculous. I don't want to watch the NFL. I want to watch the college football games. Get off my Saturday, NFL.
I was going to pick for the Idaho Potato Bowl, but I decided instead I'm going to go NFL. The Ravens are favored by six points to beat the Steelers this weekend. That's too many points. I'm going to take the Steelers to cover that game.
It's a Saturday game, and it's the first of a rough Steelers tripleheader.
There's never been a full month off in the month of December. I don't know what he was talking about. Normally the first bowl game is like December 17th and like conference championship weekend is like December 2nd.
Whatever you do.
You want to make the Orange Bowl, you got to go to the playoff.
North Carolina UConn.
I'm actually crying.
Why is there a cat in this picture?
Why are you taking a picture of your toilet and your cat is looking at you like, why are you doing this?
One was that play in Colts-Broncos because everybody is so safe with the football now that when something like that happens in professional football, you have to understand what these people are doing, right? Like they're super precise military complexes trying to march down the field carefully protecting the football. The Packers have a meeting about the football every week.
Every Thursday, they get together, the Packers get together, and like, who turned the football over? It's a meeting about just the football.
And in Baker versus the Browns, unequivocally, he won that one.
Thank you for setting it up that way.
There was a photo that was going around the internet yesterday. It was a toilet with a grid over it. And the grid was numbered 1 through 9 on the top and A through J on the left. The Y axes, I guess. And people were saying where they aim when they piss. And I saw this picture and I showed it to my boyfriend and I was like, everyone's like an E5, right?
Like, is there anywhere else you would aim if you were aiming into the toilet? And apparently that's not the most common answer.
I just noticed there's a cat in this picture. You can go D2. I go right.
Why?
You think we pee off the front of the toilet?
No.
I think probably closer. Really? It depends if I'm sitting with my back to the back of the toilet or if I'm squatting facing the toilet.
There you go.
It's such a lane for you. Just everything in college football is awesome. Any single thing that happens, she gets deliriously happy about.
It was a play on an old classic.
He just told a story about Baker Mayfield.
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Let's take a vote. Cuban Santa was going to be wearing shorts and we'd see some balls. I was hoping.
That's a callback.
I don't want people to think I'm talking about my coworker.
It's fine. I did it to myself. Also, Mike, I'm sorry. You made a comment about Miss Congeniality, too. So I thought you'd seen it. So then I put you on the spot and then.
Huh.
And Reinhardt with one of the best plays, like stealing the puck on one end, taking it the length of the ice, and then putting it... Did it hit off the Skinner's back?
I actually saw it as a wicked virgin. I had never seen the play at all, and I was into it.
That's what people in Boston call virgins. Yeah.
Wicked. But I have one critique. I have one critique. Jeff Goldblum. You're just Jeff Goldblum, okay? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean by that? He's playing the Wizard of Oz, and it's like, I just see Jeff Goldblum. I thought that was a bad casting. Anytime he's in a role, I just am looking at Jeff Goldblum. There are plenty of actors like this.
I haven't seen the movie yet, but I did see it on Broadway, and I think that it's absolutely absurd that we're doing this when Jeremy's not here, when he dressed up as Elphaba last week. This is just like, I understand he's the annoying guy, and his character's annoying, and we all are annoyed by him, but this is just mean. Now it's just mean.
All right, we're reaching now. This is not a Christmas. Did he just send that in?
I think it's because of the head coaching. But he is, it is a stretch. I mean.
Maybe he's trying to project what we're going to talk about.
We could admit the 201 yesterday was funny. Yeah.
This is fun. She has an accent.
Yep.
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
I think we're talking about this relationship too much and not Josh Allen and Hailee Steinfeld relationship enough. Ever since they got engaged, life has been amazing for him. He's so tall. He's so good at football. He's engaged to one of the most beautiful women and talented women in the world. We should talk about them.
i would say that brianna chicken fry has that's her whole brand has been take a look into my life and i'm you know bringing my friend to this public media company where the entirety of the content they do is here's what's going on in my life uh and brianna chicken fry has made a point to come out and make all these statements there aren't things that are being taken from you know
private things in her life. She's going in front of a microphone and talking about all of this. So I think that sort of opens up the realm to be involved in this. But we're just not talking about how great of a couple Josh and Hailey are. Oh, it makes me so happy for the both of them.
Sorry for bringing positivity to the show. Sorry for supporting and loving my coworkers. I guess I won't do that anymore.
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Yeah, he was committed to Florida State, and I'll never forget it because when he decommitted, all these Florida State fans started burning their Deion jerseys. And there's one classic image of someone burning a framed Deion jersey. They're like, why would you not take it out of the picture frame?
Depends on the day.
Look, the way she was saying it wasn't like she just was not able to pronounce it. She kept giving him the first name Jimmy. And I was like, Rose, his name is Luigi. And then we'd say, his name is Luigi Mangione. How do you say it? And she'd say, Jimmy.
I thought the perfume cologne was odd, but then I used some context clues. I feel like a lot of these toy drives, everyone always gets the little kids stuff, but there are high school, middle school students who probably want drunk elephant Sephora stuff. So maybe bring some of that too.
I don't think they meant to put it there.
My eye is twitching. It may be unrelated, but I do want to close the loop on something that was brought up earlier, which is Chris Cody. He often gets sent clips of himself. Mispronunciation. What do we call it? Mispronunciation. Yes, that's what I call it. Mispronouncing. Yes, mispronouncing. Gerund version of that.
But you don't play them and we'll never know how often because you won't play them. And I just found out about this today and I heard that there's one in your inbox and I would like you to play it.
That was cute. Yeah, I kind of liked it.
But Jessica. I know. I do it too. I mispronunciate everything. But it's funny when it's Chris.
It was like a one-second comment in a clip. Wait a second. It's not like he wrote an article about it.
That's all he has.
Jeremy and I have something in common in that, well, I guess not really, because your team, well, I guess neither of our teams won the national championship, but you still think yours did. I won it. I won it. You think yours did, and they didn't, but they can pretend like they did, which is fine. No, we definitely did.
Mine definitely didn't, and the only consolation was that they weren't the ones at the White House yesterday with J.D. Vance, so I guess.
Ow!
I was thinking like Pete Crow Armstrong, PCA, because it's one away from CPA.
Why poo?
It's a list that connotes taxes and shit.
I get W-2.
It just felt like that should have been on a different list instead of this list. That's all I'm saying. Pooh Richardson, great comedic name for perhaps a different list.
I get that. I know.
Tax Verstappen, first of all.
Yeah. Second of all, there was some interview with Kenny Pickett where the Browns were like, some reporters like, are you going to be the starter? And he's like, I'm not here to hang out. And I thought that was very funny. But yes, Kenny Pickett's had a weird year, Dan, because he went from, well, weird five years, I guess. Drafted in the first round.
Many people called it a reach, but oh, it's Pittsburgh hometown. Not really hometown. He's from Jersey, but you know.
Yes, because he was the quarterback of the best Pitt team in a long time. They went to the ACC championship game. He was prolific. They made a rule change after him because it was fake slide in the game. He was prolific, but was an older quarterback, and a lot of his success came in his final year. That's usually not a recipe for success in the NFL, etc., etc.
He had three concussions in his first two seasons. Matt Canada got fired. It was sort of a disaster and has just been one in a long string of disastrous offensive quarterback offense situations since Ben Roethlisberger retired. And then he was traded to the Eagles, won a Super Bowl, was playing in the Super Bowl. No one saw that coming because that's how big of a blowout it was.
And then got traded to the Browns. And so now he is on the Browns, I guess, fighting for the starting position with Joe Flacco.
It is funny. I can laugh at that.
It's just that it feels like there's four quarterbacks that just keep shuffling around the AFC North and also maybe just the larger AFC at large. Like Mitch Trubisky's one of them. Kenny Pickett's now one of them. Joe Flacco's definitely one of them. They just keep kind of moving around.
I'm curious what you guys think, though, about the career Kenny Pickett's had. Say he retires in 10 years and plays a backup for the rest of his career in the NFL.
He gets to retire and say he was a first-round draft pick and won a Super Bowl. I don't know. Is that that bad? Maybe a dream come true, some would say.
Well, when you won't tell us the number, you can see where people would think they know the number. There's a guy who knows the number who won't tell us what the number is.
Yes, I don't know how to evaluate his overall physical health and well-being. However, if he is a backup in the league for a long time to come and gets to have that Super Bowl ring and experience, not even just a Super Bowl, he got to say he won a Super Bowl for the state of Pennsylvania. Yeah. I mean, close enough, right?
It wasn't where you got drafted, but you can kind of like, in 20 years, you'll be like, yeah, and then I won a Super Bowl with the Eagles. And no one's going to really be like, wait, what?
It counts. He played in a couple games because Jalen Hurts had a concussion late in the season and he had to come in and play. Ian Book was the third string on that team. And he was at Notre Dame spring game last week. And the caption said, Super Bowl champion Ian Book is at the spring game. And if I'm Ian Book, I'm like, hell yeah, I'm a Super Bowl champion.
He didn't play a snap, but I mean, come on.
42.
Yes, you're correct that Carson Beck was one of the top quarterbacks going into last season, but he underperformed also and threw a lot of interceptions last year and then got a really devastating injury.
I did look. I looked it up on PFF two nights ago. 9% drop rate, something like that. I think Tennessee's was 7%. I don't remember. I'll look it up again. But yes, you're correct. A lot of drops.
I stand with Ryan Clark.
I don't know why he was flapping his arms like a chicken.
Put this on social. Ryan Clark followed me on Instagram the other day. I want him to know that I stand with him.
He's worth what? People will pay him. Precisely.
I mean, he's not just some dummy reading Twitter, though. His son played college football last season and was a transfer, so he does understand how this works. He is like a Hall of Famer.
I'm not down on him. I'm just saying he didn't play very well last year. If he did, he would be a player going to the NFL draft next week.
He had a rough season. But Georgia, like you said, their offense was rough last year. And so I'm just pointing out...
there's a little bit of nuance to it like it's not like a surefire thing especially because of the injury so yeah like but again like if this is what the market is and him and john matier and uh nico are the best transfers in the portal they're going to and mensa from tulane like yeah this is you were worth whatever people want to pay you it's kind of i think like
I don't know, annoying to call someone out for being like, it's not $4 million when no one will say what it is. So he's going off of the best available information, which I don't think is like wrong to do.
I don't know.
He seems like it.
I have an idea, though, Dan. There's another woman here that you can apologize to for too much Miami Hurricanes talk, and it's Lucy.
Because Katy Perry went to space, Lucy. Oh, she did.
I'm a little lost here. On behalf of Mike Ryan, he would like to apologize for being so annoying about the Miami Hurricanes for the last forever. And also Dan wants to apologize for being annoying about the Miami Heat. Do you accept? No.
But if Miami wins, I can't? I like to keep my options open.
Okay.
I don't know. Jeremy's... I wasn't listening to him, but it sounds like he thinks they're going to win. But he always thinks they're going to win.
Lucy, I have a question for you, because on TV, it seems like the audience this year is in Hudson Yards is like way bigger than last year, whereas in Brooklyn and like Brooklyn Music Hall, I think something I can't remember the venue is called, but it's a lot smaller. This year is a lot bigger.
And you have like Ryan Rucco and Lobo and Andrea Carter on the desk and they're talking and they did the same thing last year, too. But last year seemed like it was a little bit more smaller, intimate. This is like.
a big venue and there's people at round tables and like lots of people in the audience but on tv it seemed like everyone in the audience was just silent while they were doing like the draft analysis and it seemed like if i were there it would be a little awkward did it seem awkward at all
So I don't even know. Well, it seemed awkward. But the fashion was great. In Lucy's defense, the people that are sitting at the roundtables are the players, their parents, Gino Ariema, Don Staley. It's all coaches. It's very, very front-facing WNBA and college basketball people. And Lucy, I imagine, will be there soon. But maybe not this year.
And I was at the W draft last night.
It got published two hours ago, so maybe there's a little bit of a grace period.
Yeah, two hours?
Hey, Jess, do you have it? It's accounts and passwords. Yeah, I got you. Don't worry, I got you. Also, PFF Premium. I've been deep in the Nico Iamo Leava PFF Premium page.
Hear, hear. What are your thoughts on Nico, Lucy? It's obviously the topic du jour. In North Carolina, it seemed like maybe he was in the running for landing him, but now looks like they're going to get South Alabama's quarterback in the portal. So where is he going to end up?
Yeah, I think my point is just that like you're worth whatever someone will pay you. And if a team has money and is desperate and wants to, there's plenty of reasons why you can convince yourself that this is going to work out for you. Like he's not this horrible player. He's young. He wasn't great against better defenses last year, like Lucy said.
So if someone wants to pay him that, which he clearly was banking on the fact that that existed, the market existed for him, then yeah, like he's worth it. But maybe not at Tennessee. And it turns out definitely not at Tennessee.
How much is Carson Beck making?
Yeah, I think the crazy thing is like the perception that he had this leverage, especially now. I think that's what's crazy. Not necessarily that like, hey, I'm one of the best quarterbacks. I should be paid like one. That's not that crazy to me. What's crazy is that it was now it happened in this way and that he really didn't have any of this leverage at all.
That was crazy.
He was hurt a lot last year. He played hurt almost the whole season.
Stop.
You know, I said one thing. Lucy had something to say.
Lucy, if you had to pick one, like this is, you know, shot for your life situation, but you had to do this. OK, go into the deep water of the ocean in like one of those submersible things or go to outer space with Katy Perry. Wow. Oh, man. The Katy Perry one.
Okay, but also, Gayle King is there, but she's not going to talk because she's nervous the whole time. Right. Well, yeah, so that means we don't even get to chat. We just hear Katy Perry.
What thing? Beating the Bulls?
You want to hear it?
Everyone said no, but you kept going.
Can we do some sort of Chicago-Miami wager? Like, if Chicago wins, I get the week off work. If Miami wins, we don't have to hear from Jeremy for the rest of the playoffs.
I always wanted to know how to make more of those because I have a lot of S's in my name. And so when I would doodle the S's, I'd be like, well, what about the J and the E?
How do you make a J like that?
I don't know. At what point is it not microdosing anymore? Yeah. If you take like six tablets, I've heard from a friend that you take a couple and you're like, oh, this is nice. But then if you take six, you're not micro dosing anymore. You're just dosing. You're overdosing.
It's been pushed back. I haven't seen his stomach yet. I know he's home yesterday, and he was texting with me, FaceTiming, and he's good. He's just resting. He was even debating coming in tomorrow, but we're thinking we're going to push it back to Thursday, just give him a few days to rest. So we are expecting him this week. Folks, listen up.
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I love how he reacts in a way, like, let me pick this up real fast so no one notices. Like, he kind of reacts in a way, like, oh, shit, let me do this. Nothing happened here, but it's like, yes, we all clearly saw this. Put the entire press corps there.
No one loved that more than Trump. He's just like this. It wasn't me.
I would never do that.
My wife has done the thing where she buys the little hat thing that you can put in the washing machine. If you put the hat in this little thing, it keeps it. It won't mess it up. It didn't work. It messed up all the hats she's done it with.
I mean, in basketball, it's on the foul line, right? Yeah, I mean, I can't, to your point, there's not a lot of examples of time to think in sports.
Roy and Billy, they have all those hats, the minor league hats that we got sent over the years.
Not being in the finals is the joke. I was hitting Rangers fans with that all last night at the Panthers game. Like, good luck in the play. Oh, that's right.
And to answer your question, she doesn't ruin a lot of hats because after the first one, I was like, you're never washing any of these hats again.
That's what she looked to me, Gayle King.
I was trying to call back to, you could go to space.
I think you could go to space, but you wouldn't.
I love Jeremy Strong. His commitment to the bit at all times is incredible because he's this method actor that everyone says is kind of a nightmare to be around, but All he cares about at this point is letting everyone know that he understands that. And I don't know if you guys saw, there was a Variety article with him about this commercial.
And he gives these long, eloquent quotes about why he felt it was important to show people that he actually does get the joke. There was one quote that said, I got there and they had prepared a porcelain white bathtub. which I felt was all wrong. I wanted it to be something cylindrical so that I could come out of it vertically. If I was in a bathtub, it would seem like I was in repose.
It's just amazing that he cared this much about the details of a Dunkin' commercial.
Jeremy Strong on the concept of the commercial, quote, I also had a memory of my dad. I grew up in Boston, and he used to send me into Dunkin' Donuts to get one cream, two sugars. At some point, that reminded me of the Henry Wadsworth Longfellow poem. Oh, wow.
And I thought one creamer by land, two sugars by sea. Should I talk about the time that I saw Jeremy Strong on Broadway? Minor penalty. Two minutes. Delay of show.
It was always about money, and it's sad that the divorce ends this way. It was always going to come to an end unless, as sort of stated before the season, as were the expectations, as were the things that Jimmy Butler echoed when he showed up at training camp. He played a bunch of games and played at a really high level, and then maybe the Heat would pay him in that sort of β
twilight contract or one that they believed they could still get a little more out of him but when we got to this point it ends in this really nasty way because it took a month and a half in the middle of the season and we saw you know Jimmy Butler take 14 free throws in his final six games of the heat now 26 in his first two with the Warriors that shows you the difference in in the play style
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So mean.
They always try to make me talk faster too.
Are we Team Schultz or Team Rapsheet?
Fatty veneers.
I do, too.
I don't like any of them. We're not talking reboot. Not canon.
It's like, oh, my wife left me because I'm deaf now. Like, that's tough.
Not canon.
Yeah, but like the intermingling aspect, the whispers at the bar after the workouts, it's like a real event for movers and shakers, Greg. Is it beneficial more so for like smaller school players or lesser known players that get invited? Yes. Do the top names need to throw? No, they don't really need to do that. That's kind of been the case for a while now.
But it also might not mean anything. That's where I agree with Greg. If you have an outlier performance, either good or bad, it may matter more than it should versus years of tape. But it is, I think, I mean, I am sure that many scouts would argue that it's good to have all of those metrics and statistics equally measured at one place by the same people to compare and contrast.
But yeah, at the end of the day, how much influence should it really have versus what it's worth? It probably depends.
Yeah.
Ooh, a Challenger spinoff movie, but it's two people competing in the corn dog eating Challenger contest.
Wasn't Di there?
What?
Like a cartoon cat eating a fish.
Where was this event?
I've never ever in my life thought, you know what would be great? Eating multiple corn dogs in one sitting.
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Maybe we do a player Mount Rushmore and a coach executive Mount Rushmore because then you can put Spolstra on the coach one. I feel like he should be on something, right?
Barkov would be the Panther.
He hasn't won anything either.
What about Stu Gatz? He's a coach.
I so haven't forgiven him. What are we doing with Larry Zonka?
You could make a Mount Rushmore of players the Marlins traded.
I think Messi's moment was when the paparazzi caught him at Publix.
Your moment was the Speedo thing. I still don't know what that was.
By the way, Dan, everyone during the break was saying that you thinking that we could get into the speakeasy was another Four Seasons moment.
If you know, you know.
Your incredulity about this proves it was another Four Seasons moment.
You said there were nine people in the speakeasy. Greg's selfless. And I'm still waiting for the other five.
Do on-air moments count? I think Greg scooping his engagement was... That's not a Dan moment. That's a Greg moment.
Is Greg allowed to make a submission?
Chris, what was your other nomination?
Mike has a list back here. I'm kind of curious what's on it.
I feel like a lot of your worst moments coincide with Greg's best moments because Greg was thriving. He was great.
He carried us on his back that day. Meanwhile, Dan was spiraling.
Similar to when he scooped your engagement. Thriving.
Didn't he almost die in a hot air balloon once?
Maybe Ron wrote the notes that made Dan make the mistake at the Vegas show, too. That almost caused him to die of shame. Third attempt at his life.
That's a screaming. That's a home run from Castellanos.
I actually went back and watched Killian Murphy's speech from last year when he won for Oppenheimer. What a good speech. He was in, he was out. He gave like a very poignant message at the end. Like this is for all, we live in Oppenheimer's world. This is for all the peacekeepers. And then he left and I stood up in my room and I clapped again because that guy gets it.
Roboito?
Oh, my God. He just showed his tummy on camera. This is a moment. Wow. What kind of moment?
You said anyone could do a British accent.
This is your Bond audition.
I do think any British person can do an American accent, but most Americans can't do a British accent.
What about like a Ralph Fiennes? He's in his 60s. Old James Bond.
I think Strahan was talking to the CEO of Amazon and was like, I'll do it. I'm here. And then it got aggregated. And now it's become a very hot debate in which you called Mike Ryan a racist. Yeah.
It does make all this sort of Cold War feel. The Miracle on Ice doesn't really hit the same now than it used to.
I just finished watching the show The Americans, and I'm like, I feel like the Russian spies would get cabinet positions now.
Do they have giant ice cubes at that bar? Because I'm assuming the speakeasy's got, you're having a giant ice cube in your old fashioned.
Those ice cubes, I love.
Oh, okay, hang on. Wikipedia, pom-pom, also spelled pom-pon. Wow. It's an either-or situation.
I can't believe everyone was right.
By the way, it's crazy that Kachuk got hurt in the Four Nations tournament, right? I mean, it seems like a good argument for having those things not be super competitive so people don't try, so they don't get hurt.
Oh, well, now I'm hearing differing. Could your wife not make it, even if she was invited?
If I'm going to a work thing after hours, I'd like to bring Lehman. Of course. I don't want to just come by myself.
How is communicating about tickets this difficult among, like, four people? Hold on a second.
Why would Greg go to a Panther speakeasy when he was around when we had real speakeasies back in the day?
Roberto Luongo.
Legendary goaltender for the Florida Panthers, and now a special advisor to their general manager...
Dan can't have salt. We have been over this.
Yeah, you looked like you were going to pass out, but you were doing strenuous activity for you.
I thought you were going to start crying, maybe.
I regret to inform you that the chat is calling you the not-so-little drummer boy.
Also, Sergei Slobrovsky.
I regret to inform you that they are now calling you, what was it, Mike? Eric Eckflab?
They're calling you Carter Verhangry.
Minor penalty, two minutes, stumbling.
So, Greg, are you disappointed because he gave away his journalistic integrity and then only stayed for a period? It's like you didn't even get the full game out of it, Dan.
Hi, Ricky.
Do you have a daughter named Mary Jane?
Marley, okay. Another son, Keef.
Thank you.
Chris, thanks for the idea.
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But Dan, we had a show on Friday. I wasn't here. So I am pretty sure you guys didn't talk about it. But like you control the topics that we talk about on the show. So if you're going to sit here and wonder why it's not getting the same coverage, I think you should probably explain why you chose not to talk about it on Friday.
But the initial Baltimore banner story was very detailed and had a lot of information in it. I don't think you can write it off as like, well, let's wait and see what happens next.
What happened next was that he put out a statement, said none of it was true, and that it was all bullshit, and then three more massage therapists came forward and said, no, this happened to us too, and one of them had... like a paper she allegedly wrote many years ago talking about it to her boss. So like, yeah, that information's totally fair. But the initial reporting was also very solid.
There were some different allegations also, but I think the similar thread is that in both situations you have men in very powerful positions that are behaving inappropriately and making women uncomfortable that are hired to work for them. So yeah, the comparison I think is fair in that it's in a similar situation, a similar setting.
I mean, based on the reporting, no, it seems like this was a situation that none of these people wanted to be a part of, so.
But Dan, I hear you, but also Deshaun Watson signed the biggest contract in NFL history after the allegations against him.
And and like, I don't know. I get your point that like we talked about it more because he's a starting quarterback. But like he got to spend 11 games. He also got is getting paid like two hundred thirty million dollars. But the consequences here are sort of, you know, trade off.
I think we should 100% be covering both, and that's why I started this segment by saying, why didn't we talk about this on Friday?
And also, there haven't been any civil suits filed in this case. And to David's point, there haven't been any criminal charges yet.
I think the way to do it well is not to start the segment with like people aren't talking about this when you didn't talk about it on Friday. Like that would not be how I would have started the conversation. I would start the conversation with here is another athlete that's been accused of doing something terrible.
And why are we constantly in the position where women are being allegedly taken advantage of in these situations? And why does our society allow this to continue to happen?
That's called I'm not caring about anyone trying to reach me, you know, if you're putting it up there.
You were texting me about coming on. It wasn't for this. It was to come be on your podcast?
I'm busy.
He has a lot of guests. I don't know how many people. Everyone's got to poop.
Yeah, I think we all would have liked to go. But it was just in New Orleans like four weeks ago, so.
If I may change the subject quickly, I found out recently that my grandma has a YouTube addiction and she can't.
actually stop watching YouTube videos and she's gotten fed a lot of our videos in the algorithm and she just texted me and said is he really making fun of that older gentleman which I believe refers to you making fun of Greg so I think I think my grandma would like an apology on Greg's behalf she could mean either one of us I mean Dan's no spring chicken you know it's true I thought she meant me and it was a family thing with you and me what do you mean GTFO
She's very with it, Dan. She just watches a lot of YouTube videos. This is going very wrong, Dan. And this is a great example of your elder abuse tendencies.
That being said, I don't think she should run the heat either. But that's not because of her age. I don't think she'd be very good at it. Just like maybe Pearl Riley's not very good at it right now.
Not really in my family. You got to earn your stardom. I think my grandma can appropriately assess my level of success because she is not senile and she understands I'm on a big show. I'm not the title of the show, but I do very well for myself.
I think he was right.
I don't know which teams have the cap space for it, but it might not be a guarantee that wherever he is traded wins a Super Bowl, but it is a guarantee if he stays in Cleveland, he will not. That's how bad the situation is there.
Not quite. It was more like 80-something, but it was still nice. I'm not complaining about it.
It was not a lot of money, which leads me to believe maybe someone, again, pilfered from the fine bucket.
I wasn't even here that day, and I remember what it is.
Your math is not great.
There's like four people out there, Dan.
I'm good. This sounds like cope. Yeah.
This is Cartersville, Georgia, right? Do they have a Trevor Lawrence day or did Billy get a day before the star of their hometown?
I think he won the national championship six years ago against Alabama, but that's fine, Dan. Close enough. Semantics.
The best part of this video is what Billy is doing throughout it, which is just like absentmindedly looking out of the window and not knowing where he's supposed to be focusing his attention.
This is cute. What's the problem with this? No problem. It's wonderful.
Getty, just edit next time.
You think the point of this show is to uphold the standards of intelligence?
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You can spot a woman faking it.
He's trying to uphold the standard of intelligence. Thank you.
What does he think about Luca?
I'm okay right now. It's back to warm outside, so I'm wearing sleeveless tops again. So it's a little bit of an adjustment when you go from outside to inside.
We did. It was a nice three weeks. I was wearing sweaters every day. Now it's summer again.
In the meantime, while David's out there, we should have Gabe back in to talk about the Spurs trade, I think. Please don't.
I'm being told the YouTube chat is going crazy for Gabe right now. The people demand their king.
I can bring it in there. It's comforting to have a blanket on.
They're closed sores. Thank you.
What is the Hall of Fame criteria, Greg? And also, I might add, you look dashing in that black button down with the black blazer. Thank you.
Wait, this is a real thing. This isn't you making this up. He's actually sick.
I'm going to text him. I didn't know. You mentioned it yesterday. I was like, okay, this is a setup for something.
What was her folksy name? Oh, my God.
I know my great-grandparents' names.
I'm not going to tell you, but I know them.
Yes. I go over my ancestry with my grandma every time I see her, and she tells me all the family gossip, and a lot of it's not good.
Is he like stuck in Cartersville, Georgia? Where is he at this moment, Chris Cody? Where's Billy? I'm very concerned.
Yes, you explain why you have a leadership problem, as you are the leader.
Completely different perspective for me because those bathrooms are always empty.
Not my blanket.
No, but this... Greg. Greg, just sit in a comfortable posture and then you won't have to adjust the microphone.
That sounds really good.
You sound like a smooth jazz NPR announcer.
Well, all the other like front offices have more or less corroborated that. You think they're all lying?
And you also think no one would have leaked it.
Which is more plausible if only three people knew about it.
God bless college basketball, Jess.
That is accurate. We are, in this office, the two most ball watchers, ball knowers, ball lovers.
The fact that I'm a ball knower in basketball. The bar is, did you watch an NCAA basketball game before the tournament? Yes. If you could check that box, you're in the one percentile here.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We'll be right back.
Philly, come on. You're one of the independent's best people on the planet covering football, whatever. You know Xavier. X is not. What is it? The Guardian. The Guardian, my bad. The Guardian. What is it? Whatever. Okay. You know that X is a guy that's going to get in the slot. He's going to find open spots in the zone. He's not going to be a special teamer.
He's going to be a special guy on offense.
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Where is he? Like Albuquerque or something? Bad Wi-Fi? No. Detroit. Almost. Why would he be in Albuquerque?
No, no. With a friend walking by a TV I don't like. Was he walking by a TV store where all of a sudden the TV is there?
Everybody needs help.
That's kind of nice. I mean, you question if he's your friend if you're paying him. Jess.
Yes.
No, I want you to do it so you can do the Bill Belichick thing you always wanted to do. What's that? Him with the girlfriend where he holds her up with the legs. Dan said he couldn't do it, and that's why he's trying to do it now. I like that.
He's doing a lot of work on himself, by the way. He's been looking good recently.
There's a number of options. Riley, could it be? Oh, I know what it is. I absolutely know what it is. I think.
He needs like an artist starring Nick Cage. You know, like he needs to pull some sort of grand stunt and say that it's for the art and get sued or get arrested or whatever. Right. Like, I think that you have to have like a blimp that you projected on that's just flying around town. So you have to be following it around if you want to watch the whole thing. Or you just have like a water machine.
And then like what I mean was saying, you light it up purple. and then you're just projecting the movie on the screen. You just do stuff like that. You need a big artist to do. That's what's missing here is the passion from Ezra, I think.
The movie probably sucks. If we're just setting the expectations up to this level here.
Pablo was blowing smoke up his friend's ass. He's like, get out of here. Pablo just likes to be friends with famous people and talk about how he's friends with famous people. My famous friends. We get it. You're friends with Childish Gambino, Pablo. We get it. Exactly right. Enough of that. The expectations are so high. And if we're going to be honest about the OJ one, we all thought way too long.
Wait, like an editor. Editor Edelman is what we needed there. Eight episodes, way too long. Could have been six at best. I don't agree with you anymore.
Well, I thought we were talking about Jimmy or something, but there's a bet going on, so I don't know if that's what was in play. But then I remembered, you know. I mean, there's a number of LeBron things. LeBron started up his podcast again. Sands, J.J. Redick. He was doing it with Steve Nash. Then LeBron was on with McAfee for like an hour and a half or something.
That kind of swing, that kind of thing. This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugats.
I don't yuck someone's yum, man.
There's a number of things there. I mean, let me check the trades, see if anyone signed a media deal. Hold on a second.
Ryan Glashpiegel, right? Awful Announcing has someone on staff just to write about this show, right? Like, that seems to be the case.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Stephen A aging is insane. Stephen A has never been younger than he is today.
Get out of here. So I don't crack.
He called Osama Bin Laden Obama.
This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
I think, Jess, you need to make a Sudanese accent now.
No, I mean, I didn't make fun of Italians. He was celebrating, though.
But his career could have ended two seasons ago, right? His career could have ended after the Broncos, but he got another chance with the Steelers.
This is good for him. This is a good time. Pad your stats. Ensure that you're going to make it into the Hall of Fame because people have said that you've played your way out of the Hall of Fame. Now it's time to start compiling. Go out there, take that starting job, and start racking up TDs, yards, whatever you need to do.
Well, if you believe in your work and what you put out there is not litigious, then put it out there.
Dot your I's and cross your T's before you waste all the time doing it. You're not going to have it see the light. What do you think? You're going to do it like, you know what? They're really going to like what I did with OJ. So they're going to say OK after I actually finish the project.
But what is Russell's Pain, I don't understand.
The pain is Jameis. Jameis is the one with a gripe. I mean, that guy was fooled into thinking he was going to start.
Yeah, you know.
You know what I don't understand?
You know what I don't get about Ezra Edelman? So he's not allowed to show the movie, but he's showing it to all his friends. So, like, he still is. Like, why didn't he just do a series of one-on-one screenings? Like, if you want to come watch my movie, like, come over to my house. I'll show you the movie. And then you get the fulfillment of people watching the movie that want to see the movie.
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Gillespie for three. Goal or no, Holloman looks the clock.
The play-in tournament? Not even that. You can't even mention what a goal would be? Just, I want to get right and help these guys finish the season strong.
Yeah, but that's where he needs to prove that dropping the podcast is worth it. I mean, he needs to show what his goals are. Because if it was just, I got to get my body right, who cares? Or just not, you know, also you don't have to announce anything. Just stop like Duncan Robinson did. Duncan Robinson just stopped doing his podcast.
He also had that great line about the WTA. Yeah.
Aren't beer and hookah the most benign of the vices? Of all the things you can smoke, hookah. And of all the things you can drink, beer.
Why would you become an ump, though, if you made like 10 million bucks playing baseball?
And we're doing women next.
Tony Soprano-like, I would say. Yeah.
I didn't know if you meant to say Soprano.
If that happened on this show, Chris would be doing this the whole time.
Well, it's that one. Because he's a little Italian.
But yeah, I think to Amin's point, it is perfect because it's like, you know, she's not trying to intentionally humiliate Whoopi Goldberg. She's just trying to poke fun at it. And she's not taking herself so seriously. She's like, how dare you not know how to say my last name?
I got a text message about it.
He thought Nosferatu was a love story, so I think we know.
Yeah, Mike's tickets. So you have to get from like the club section to where his tickets are behind the visitor bench. You have to go in between the row of the stat keepers and the TV and the radio people. And you got to kind of like, oh, excuse me, squeezing right past you there because it's a very narrow section. So you kind of bump everyone a little bit. And so Zagaki sits right there. Yeah.
And, you know, Mike's walking through in his tracksuit. And, like, Mike's a big guy. Like, Zagaki sees him coming. And it's very awkward for Mike.
I agree.
yes he was a good Lex Luthor can we talk about Roy in that clip saying he would kick your tail we were at ESPN at the time but why'd you go with tail and not butt
Kick your tail.
I think he won the Academy Award for French Connection, right? I mean, I think he has two Academy Award Best Actor wins.
He was on Triple D's.
Mississippi burning, Defoe and Hackman.
What a weird thing to think of.
If the timing, this is good timing. It's not that he would be in the in-memoriam.
It's that he would be like at the, like what position he would have.
I think it's a common trope that people want to root for the unassuming hero, right? Like it's in a lot of movies and stories. Yeah, I mean, Dune, that's the Paul Atreides character in Dune. He's like, oh, the unassuming hero, Harry Potter, whatever, Frodo Baggins.
like people find relatability and like not wanting to show other a person that you root for not wanting to like show other people that they're trying really hard and they're working really hard for something because then it can come off as cocky and i think that he's he's telling you right now like he's he's okay with you knowing that he's working really really hard at this and that he's actually doing it because he wants to be great he's not someone who's like oh shucks like i don't know how this all happened you know whoopsies i guess i'm really good at this
I think it is a little bit of a cult favorite, and we're just all part of the cult. I'm deeply, deeply sorry for not getting the reference in The Shadow Show. I feel really terrible about it. I think Detroiters, his other show with Sam Richardson, one of the most underrated comedies of the last, I don't know, decade. It's so funny.
I laugh at the episode where it's Mr. Duvet's birthday, and the clown is there. It's the greatest television I've ever seen in my life.
Yeah, she had really funny interviews. I would go viral on that.
New season of Righteous Gemstones coming out in two weeks.
I think two, maybe. He didn't go to the last two. I don't know why. His basketball teams are so good this season. He just abandoned them.
I was going to say it's what you do to us in the morning show every single morning in our meeting.
He wears a full Adidas Miami Hurricanes tracksuit. He sort of walks in with a swagger. He shakes everyone's hands in the club section. He's got great parking, great parking, great seats. I sat on the court side for the women's basketball game last week.
Does he sign off his IRL conversations with ESPN?
Hannah Storm, I feel like, has been there for a long time.
Maybe I just blended her pre-ESPN days into her ESPN days.
Chris Berman's got to be up there.
He still does the... What? The internet tells you... Every Monday.
Like three seats down from Brianna Stewart.
Football season is here, and there is absolutely nothing better than game day. But it can be a little bit stressful. You're placing bets, you're setting fantasy lineups, you're figuring out the most comfortable position to sit on your couch for the next 12 hours. No one has time to think about this part. Cooking. Well, thanks to DoorDash, you don't have to worry about that.
How is that a misrepresentation?
Just a good old-fashioned quarterback is worth a conversation, Dano. Getting back to the roots, and people love it. All right. Jessica.
DoorDash is the best place to order all your game day favorites. Chicken wings, nachos, burgers, dogs, hey, maybe even a little chips and guac, something like that, get a little salsa in there. It can all be delivered with DoorDash. So this football season, don't stress about the cooking. Kick back and enjoy game day thanks to DoorDash. DoorDash, your door to more.
It's all in the mouth. If you can't really tell what the person's saying via the mouth, you know it's AI.
I know, but... Anytime I think of Davos winning, I just think of Tyler. Tyler.
There was a Biden one that was making the rounds yesterday and the day before that I was like, huh, clearly AI.
I haven't seen it.
The welterweight champ is fighting this weekend in London, doing a training, a running training with his coach. All right. Looks real so far.
They throw him the ball. Kicks it one shot.
Again, this is a left kick that ended Kamaru Usman's run as probably the greatest welterweight that we've seen in a long time.
I don't know. I don't know. Strong kick.
So, Dan, this video reminded me of things that I would see in my childhood growing up, usually on commercials from PTI when you were doing them. And I made a top five list of the most incredible things that we've seen from back in the day that might have been real or might have been original AI. We don't know yet.
Number five, Chris Chambers catching three balls with two hands. That's one of them, I remember. Here we go. He's there. He's like, all right, you guys want to see me catch a football? All right, here we go. He's got his gloves on. He's walking down. Jug's machine's about to throw a ball. He's backwards, by the way.
You're going to tell me that's not real, Dan? Come on. What year was that?
Number four. That was number five, Chris Chambers. Number four, the aforementioned Mike Vick doing a lot of different things during the football one. Oh! Knocking the guy six yards back after a quick out route. Here's another one. See? Quick pass. It's not even a hard throw. It's a lob.
down number three lebron james making five full court shots in a row which is incredible perfect form by the way regular form look at that 75 feet cash these all commercial campaigns what this was viral before viral little spin turnaround i don't remember this one actually cash is this so this is 2009 so it's sort of he's shooting from the other baseline just casually taking full court jumpers incredible i mean you're gonna tell me that's not real dan it's yeah give me a break it's not real
Number two. Number two. Rest in peace, Kobe the Mamba jumping over a car. Watch this. Here we go. Kobe's getting ready. Shelf on his feet. Defensive stance. He's doing the Birdman shaking the hands. Here we go. Defensive stance.
Bam!
That was real. That's 100% real.
That was so fake.
Yeah, the hood. At number one, probably the greatest athletic feat of any century, Lawrence Maroney jumping through both windows of a car. What?
That wasn't real? Jumping through both windows of a GMC.
He had texted me and Chris last week. Like, guys, next week, me, him, and Chris are starting to record something for something we want to do for football season. And he's like, next week for sure, buddy.
He's like, you guys good next week to record?
Where did he tell you that was airing? Nowhere yet, but maybe WFAN.
What is it? It was a DraftKings pitch show. We don't want to give too much away. We're still working on it.
Billy's face.
And I love the southern twang, too. He's like, you want me to bring the win and run on base? Yeah. Like, what? Aaron Judge is pretty impressive, right?
I trust myself.
Greg, the system indicates he is good enough to make that money. They were just in an NFC Championship game, and they were playing very well. He's kind of turned the tide. Him and Ben Johnson, the OC, have turned the tide on what this Lions offense is because of Jared Goff's ability to throw into the middle.
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Isn't the counterpoint to all this that, yes, Tua has some sort of leverage, but the Dolphins know that the way that they run their offense with Mike McDaniel, Tua is more valuable in that offense than he would be somewhere else. So a team is not going to pay him $50 million a year. So they kind of have to play ball on both sides.
If you take him to Pittsburgh, let's say, let's say Justin Fields and Russell Wilson aren't there, with an offensive coordinator like Arthur Smith, who's not going to maximize his value in the way that they do with the quick passing game, what are you going to do with Tua just handing the ball off to somebody?
Could there be an option where he signs a bit of a... I love a third option. Could be... A bit of a Kirk Cousins thing where he gets four for 180, 100 guaranteed. He's obviously annual around $45 million a year. But there's some value there.
There's some faith there of giving you more guaranteed money than you would have if you'd signed the $50 million deal but be able to be cut after a couple of years.
It was like una puerta. When you throw a puerta, it's like... That's exactly what it is.
Oh, Greg, I'll miss you the most. Thank you.
You have my attention.
And my news was more important, so we had to get to that first.
Thank you, Juju. I feel now that there has been multiple sentimental comments made, I should have prepared something. I didn't prepare anything. I just made some snarky, sarcastic, like, ha-ha, well, all the sum of you jokes, and now I feel bad. So thanks, Juju. That's the metal art way. You made me feel bad. Leave here feeling bad.
If we could perhaps end the show when Juju's done with my top five things I'll miss about Miami.
I watched that game at Bill Barnwell's house. What a legend. Oh, I'm going to live in the...
Top five things, Jessica.
today put it on the poll juju at levitard show have you ever had bread in your eyebrows at levitard show uh top five things that jessica will or won't miss about miami the won't list is too long uh just kidding oli the women at navi and panther coffee i miss them so much you'll notice this will be a hyper local list number five genesis of course
She would have been higher, Chris Fanfare, if I had seen her more than a couple times in the last year. Seems like she always gets scheduled when I'm out. Just saying. Number four, Alex, the GM at Los Feliz in Coconut Grove. She's great. She actually knows you, Dan. She's an absolute legend. I will miss that restaurant. Number three, Bill Baggs State Park.
One of the natural wonders of South Florida. We take Willow there all the time. Go to the cleat, walk around, see the lighthouse. Lovely. Stiltsville. It's amazing. I will miss it so much. Terry and Claudia at Pilates in the Grove. My absolute favorite.
favorite people i took their advanced pilates class for the last couple years did you do abs salutely on purpose absolutely because i do have abs now thank you for noticing uh she also i believe terry told me once she she teaches bam out of bio pilates or he goes to the same studio i'm not sure which can she teach him to play inside i will ask her she uh she's on instagram so i'll send her a note i'll miss them though and number one of course obviously i'll bagel
And all of you guys, except Jeremy.
Ernie, I have a question. I saw that you were born in Milwaukee and that the Milwaukee City uniforms say Cream City. And some of my friends from Milwaukee were like, no one's ever called it Cream City before. Have you ever actually heard the Cream City nickname?
Oh, yeah. I wish I could sing like that.
Correct. This is goodbye Miami. Four years is a long time. I enjoyed my stay for the most part. It was a lot of fun for the most part. And I'll miss you guys for the most part. No, in all seriousness. I will miss seeing most of you. Just kidding. Every day. And yeah, it's not going to be the same. I won't be here week in and week out. I see Mike getting emotional and I don't like it.
I'm good.
I'm good.
Not yet. I'm still here for the rest of this show.
But I am moving tomorrow and I will be back in New York in a couple months. We're staying with family for a couple months in the summer here.
Willow is, unfortunately, she's already made the move up north. She's gone? We don't get to say goodbye to Willow? Well, her last day was last week. I told everyone it was her last day. So Kristen was very upset. A lot of tears.
Yeah, not South Beach, Dan. The party planners here, they know me well. They know she's not going to leave her neighborhood on a weeknight and she's not going to get in her car after 5 p.m. and sit in traffic in Miami. So they sat in traffic for me. It was very touching. Lots of people drove from Broward, which is, as we know, a hike. And I'm very grateful for it.
There was a bomb threat on my first day.
I had a cockroach infestation in my first apartment here.
Wow, I am really good at this job. No one knows what I do, what I don't do, what I like, what I don't like. I am a pro. Thank you, Mike. Thank you, Jez.
The series hasn't started yet. It hasn't even started yet.
I know. I think Jeremy's pathetic. You should hear him back here. It's so sad. Jeremy just delivered the most... absurd theater kid basketball analysis line that I've ever heard from him, which is really saying a lot.
Again, is he in a costume? It depends.
Lingo star over here.
Do you do journalism, though? Because it's like a thing you do.
And now he only says Goggins.
That's not an accusation.
What about Uncle Baby Billy?
Who wants to ask an old man's D?
Censor in it.
Is it Wednesday?
Oh, there's the new EP of the show, by the way.
It works out great. Or the NFL draft.
I have not done any mock drafts, but I do want Greg Cody's exactos before we finish the show today so that I can follow along from home, similar to a game of bingo or dango or whatever people play these days.
Okay.
Billy asked me this question.
Congratulations.
So it's my bad.
It's like one of the most watched shows on television right now. It's averaging over 8 million viewers. So, yeah, the FBI would get top billing, Dan, over CIA. Whoever is disputing that, you're wrong. Dick Wolf also, the orchestrator of the Chicago, what would you call that, universe?
The Chicago-verse.
FBI versus CIA? Now, that's an idea for the prolific Dick Wolf universe.
They're joining forces. They're joining forces to prevent domestic terrorism in and around New York City.
Well, there is an FBI international. Yes, there is. How does that exist? NCIS Sydney, which follows a fictional team of special agents from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, NCIS, investigating crimes.
The series set in Sydney, Australia, follows a joint task force that involves NCIS agents and Australian federal police officers working together on investigations involving American military personnel.
So it's actually really NCIS AFP, Australian Federal Police.
Actually, the closest one is in Pith.
These are literally the most popular shows in this country right now. Someone tweeted at me, how about a new show called NYPD Blue Chicago? I like that idea.
I was looking for that.
There's a lot of hyphenated shows, too, Greg. We've got Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Hawaii Five-O. I mean, what are you doing with hyphens?
I'm guessing the A is army. The H is hospital. The M probably mobile because they were in Vietnam.
I guess the S can be shithole. I don't know what that one is.
How would that make sense, though, grammatically? It's Murder, She Wrote.
She wrote about murder.
Does Yes Network have an exclamation point? I feel like it might. Also, when Murder, She Wrote and Magnum P.I. did their crossover, double commas in that situation.
Here is information people really want, Dan. Alan Ludden was married to Betty White before he died.
Come on. She was married a few times.
That's not an insult.
We should all be so lucky to live Betty White's life.
you went Cochran so I found another show with an exclamation mark in it called Just Men Greg have you heard of this show Betty White was the host or she started it apparently in the 80s and it pitted two female contestants who were asked to predict answers to a series of yes no questions posed previously to a panel of seven male celebrities oh I had never heard of that what's it called again Just Men exclamation point so you would hate it okay yeah Cochran
Steve Martin.
$12.
Dan, you just sent me a deposit for $12,000. Oh, shit.
Greg, how do you feel about dollar signs in a title? Like the $10,000 Pyramid Show. Hosted by Dick Clark, I might add.
It'd be a better stat if you knew the country.
You would have lost that game of pyramid.
I also I thought that Greg's idea to do the Fifty Shades of Grey thing that Greg came up with was actually a really good idea by Greg. That was 100 percent his idea.
Oh, my God. It sounds amazing. Dan, have you seen what this new show is called?
Sunday morning. Just talking about that sound makes me feel like I have to take a piss. No, this new show is called. It's called FBI colon CIA.
FBI CIA.
What else do you need to say?
It's a spinoff. So it's like NCIS New Orleans, you know, NCIS. L.A.
That's a great idea.
I do. I feel better now. He's like, I have no problem.
A dedicated straight-laced FBI agent and a street-smart CIA agent are part of a new clandestine task force charged with solving and preventing domestic terrorism in and around New York City. Goosebumps.
Shouldn't it just be what is Jeopardy?
Law & Order SVU, I think, would be the most famous of the colons. That show's been on for an eternity.
Greg, are you anti-movie with punctuation, too? Because there's a lot of great movies with punctuation.
While we were talking about a show with an ampersand in it.
Oh mein Gott. Sorry. I just didn't want to be near that. You know, I'm like, just go watch your sad videos, watch whatever press conferences, look at your memes, do it over there. I'm trying to get some sleep tonight.
I mean, probably. Lee got up at 6 a.m. and went kayaking, so I haven't seen him yet.
No, but I mean, to be honest, I was rooting for the Knicks after the Halliburton shot for the sole reason that that picture behind you, Dan, would have been one of the great memes of all time. If the Pacers lost, it would have been so funny. And instead, it was a great moment for him and obviously great moments Moment for the Pacers. But no, I mean, I think I'm kind of with Stugatz.
I'm not like a big Knicks fan. Obviously, I just am rooting for them because I don't want my boyfriend to leave in a kayak and never come back. But it is game one. It is game one. And I don't think it's like I don't you keep seeing like saying about like the fear at MSG last night. I don't think there is like fear.
I think there's more so just like so much excitement that Knicks fans are like angry and they don't know what to do with themselves. I don't I wouldn't say it's just like fear that they're feeling.
Ich weiΓ es nicht wirklich. Ist er ein Villain? Ich denke, Amine hat gesagt, dass er furchtbar war, richtig? Ich weiΓ es nicht. Ich sehe ihn nicht als einen Villain, wie man Draymond Green als Villain sieht, glaube ich. Er ist einfach jemand, bei dem jeder sagt, ja, ja, ja, egal, geh weg, du hast noch nichts gewonnen. Er ist so ein Villain, mehr wie Trey Young, glaube ich.
Jeremy TachΓ©. Hm.
Wow, sie hat es geschafft. Ich mag Jeremy's Best heute.
They are cowards. Mike, look at their 2027 schedule and tell me as a USC fan, which games you would be excited to host from that schedule. First of all, no one told USC, you have to leave for the Big Ten and blow up the Pac-12 and all of your West Coast rivalries. No one told them that is something that you must do.
And this rivalry is something that it means so much to Notre Dame fans and USC fans. It would be devastating to see this leave college football. This is a game that's been played almost 100 times for a century that was born out of the 1920s when Newt Rockne... First of all, Notre Dame couldn't schedule Big Ten games because the Big Ten was like, we don't want to play against you.
You're a Catholic school and we don't respect you and we don't want you. So Notre Dame said, okay, well, how do we make money? Let's do a West Coast trip. Let's go to L.A. And they did. And it started this amazing rivalry and millions and millions of people watched their games.
And just because USC now has decided to blow up their identity as a Pac-12 team to join the Big Ten doesn't mean that they have to blow up one of the true great rivalries in the sport. nur weil sie Angst vor einem anderen guten Team haben. Es ist so frustrierend fΓΌr mich, vor allem weil... Oh, Notre Dame hat einfach nur die Big Ten eingefΓΌhrt. Notre Dame hat eine FuΓball-IdentitΓ€t.
Und natΓΌrlich sage ich das als Notre Dame-Gradin, ich bin sehr verabschiedet. Aber Notre Dames FuΓball-IdentitΓ€t ist, dass wir ein unabhΓ€ngiges Team sind. Wir spielen die USA und die Navy jedes Jahr. Und wir haben das seit Jahrhunderten gemacht. Und das sind die Dinge, die uns wichtig sind. Was ist die IdentitΓ€t der USA, wenn sie diese RivalitΓ€t nicht haben?
Sie haben bereits alle ihre Westcoast-Rival-Spiele verloren. Sie spielen nicht mehr Stanford. Sie spielen keine der Teams, die wir in den letzten Jahrzehnten und einem halben Jahr genutzt haben, die groΓe RivalitΓ€t wurden. Was ist ihre IdentitΓ€t? Was tun sie? Was klingen sie gerade an? Es ist einfach sehr pathetisch fΓΌr mich, dass sie das fΓΌr keinen Grund weggeben wollen. Und vor allem, was sie...
Their claim is like, oh, you know, well, we want to see what the playoff format is like. Well, the current playoff format allows you to lose a couple games and you can still get in. So I really don't understand that justification. And also, oh, the travel is really far. No one told you you had to schedule games with Rutgers every other year. And South Bend to L.A. is not that far.
South Bend's in Indiana. It's not a East Coast trip. It's really not that long of a flight if you're chartering.
Look, Mike, you're right. It is a hard game. Notre Dame has won 10 of the last 14 against USC. USC has not been as good as people thought they were going to continue to be after Pete Carroll left, right? This football team and this athletic department has not performed well since that era where USC was kicking Notre Dames ass every single year.
And some iconic games between Notre Dame and USC were played in that time period, I should add. Aber Notre Dame hΓ€tte diese Serie beenden kΓΆnnen, wenn sie das ACC-Scheduling-Agreement vor einer Dekade gemacht hΓ€tten. Und sie haben es nicht gemacht, weil das etwas ist, was Notre Dame wichtig ist. Das ist etwas, was sie niemals aufgeben wΓΌrden.
Und das kam aus den HΓΌften von Notre Dame, das ein LΓΌge von einem College-Football-Programm fΓΌr 20 Jahre. Also finde ich einfach die Entschuldigung, dass es ein schwieriges Spiel fΓΌr uns ist. Und wir werden vielleicht dieses ACC-Scheduling-Agreement haben. Also jetzt ist es ein 11. schwieriges Spiel fΓΌr uns. I don't care because you guys did this to yourselves.
This was your choice to join the Big Ten. And you decided what was important to you. And Notre Dame wants to continue a long-term deal. And USC is like, well, maybe if we do it in the first week of the year. Notre Dame is already scheduled out over the next decade against Alabama and Texas and other good teams.
Ja, ich sehe das einfach nicht, wenn USC das Team war, das die letzten 14 Spiele gewonnen hat. Ich denke, USC sagt, ja, lass uns diese RivalitΓ€t fΓΌr immer weitergeben. Wir sind die Top-Dogs in dieser RivalitΓ€t.
Lincoln Rileys Kommentare im letzten Jahr haben die Leute die falsche Art und Weise verletzt und es war das erste Mal, dass die Leute bemerkten, dass diese RivalitΓ€t etwas sein kΓΆnnte, das weggehen kΓΆnnte. And then this week, Pat Forty wrote a story in Sports Illustrated that added more to that, saying, USC's basically offered a one-year extension because they want the last game to be in L.A.
And Notre Dame's like, no, we want to do a long-term extension. This is something that we want to play forever, the Notre Dame athletic director said. As long as college football is being played, we want to play USC. And Notre Dame and USC could play... Every year for the next 15 years and Notre Dame could lose every single game.
And I would still want this to be a rivalry that happens every single year. And that's, I think, the biggest difference.
Ich meine, solange es schlechtes Wetter gibt, ist das meistens der Fall. Aber das ist der Grund, warum man fΓΌr den Regen betet. Aber nicht genug Regen, um den Rennen zu verlΓ€ngern oder zu beenden, was vor ein paar Jahren passiert ist. Genug Regen, dass man denkt, oh, das ist interessant. Vielleicht wird es etwas SpaΓiges in dem. Aber nein, Mike, meistens ist das die Regel.
Und das bedeutet nicht, dass es nicht leise ist, am Sonntagmorgen zu schauen, aber Qualifizierung ist etwas.
Und auch die Indiana Fever, obwohl sie gegen den Traum verloren haben und was eine wirklich schlechte Endgame-Sequenz war, zwei Nachts zuvor. Indiana fΓΌhlt sich wie das Epochzentrum der Sportwelt jetzt an, in einer Weise, mit der ich mich nicht zufrieden fΓΌhle.
Es sollte Chicago sein.
It's nice to see you. Different reactions in this household. So I fell asleep on the couch watching the WNBA Link Swings game last night and woke up and saw that the Knicks were up by nine. I was like, oh, great, that's exciting. But then they blew it and we slept in separate beds last night.
Wenn es eine gute Liste ist, werde ich es erlauben.
Ich weiΓ es nicht, weil ich nicht weiΓ, was sie suchen. Ich weiΓ wirklich nicht mehr, was sie suchen. Also wΓΌrde ich jeden in dieser Kommission willkommen sein, um in dieser Liga zu kommen und in diesem Umfeld zu spielen.
Damn. It's hard for me not to take a victory lap. There are so many things. You know when I'm dead and gone, I'm gonna be up in heaven, I'm gonna look down on the sports media landscape, and I'm gonna see so many things. That's me, y'all do this because of me. Patino game, people not walking, they do that because of me. Calling guys by their real names as opposed to their nicknames.
You're doing that because of me. Look at me, Louie. You invented that. I created all of these cultural touchstones of how we talk about sports. Do I get a thank you? No. Instead, I get snitches and I got to collect phones here. That's what I get.
And I love my sponsors, too.
How do you pursue that addiction when the weather is terrible? Look, because it's cold now. You can't hit the links in New York. So how exactly do they think it is impacting him right now?
You haven't spoken to anybody either.
Stugatz, I know we've told this story before but it is a classic Stugatz story. Stugatz showed up late to Dan's wedding and I saw him get out of the Uber brushing his teeth as he approached He had a button-up shirt, jean sneakers, and a baseball cap on.
Out of respect for you, Dan.
there was an accusation of East Coast bias, so this show was designed to have Kalashaw in Dallas and Blackstone in Chicago and all these people were representing different perspectives from around the country of these sports stories.
One of the things that's happened because of Twitter and social media is this groupthink where you don't even have a diversity of opinion, journalism or not, across many of these topics that's based geographically. It's just you gotta find the people who are just
Hey, hey. Back here, buddy. Never got invited to Around the Horn. Everyone's like, why don't you ever do Around the Horn? They never asked. But I would have said no if they had. Me too.
I do have a question for Mina that's not football-related. Mina? can you leave food unattended in your house or does your dog devour it? Because right now we have lunch out there and I grabbed a quick bite and I was gonna leave the rest until after we talked to you. But then Jess's dog is around and I didn't trust my food to sit out on the table without Jess's dog attacking it.
So I wondered if Lenny's the same way. Does he just attack any food indiscriminately if it's left out?
The man or the pets?
You've got Santa eating milk and cookies every single household and never having to go? He's got like a colostomy bag or something.
Yes.
For the listening audience.
For the listening audience, everything that Mina is saying right now is all while she's staring at her phone. She's just staring at this photo.
There is comedic brilliance, Mina, in the way you held your phone up and then turned it into portrait mode to see it from a different angle. It was so damn funny.
Mina, how's it feel to become a Simpsons character?
Mina, when's the last time you went to the bank?
Physical bank. Walked into the bank, filled out a slip, handed it to the teller.
Andy Reid. I kind of think so. Andy Reid.
Mina, when's the last time you Irish goodbye?
Which team should hire Bill Belichick?
So you're actively rooting against the parlay?
Very poorly, I might add.
Real piece of shit.
Yeah. Joel Embiid. Okay, man. Are we in this together or not? Not a real one.
You hope they score 40 in a blowout. She sees bull sharks.
You should hope the Steelers win. Why do you care whether they score 40 or four? If they win 4-0, you'd be happy, right?
4-0 would be amazing. Two safeties and then they win. Wouldn't you be happy?
5'2". I've seen this before on social media where they trace the beginnings of basketball that Hubie Brown has ties to all of basketball. Basically, the entirety of the NBA and beyond. Obviously, he wasn't around when Dr. Naismith created the game. Yes, he was.
A ne'er-do-well.
Jimmy's crazy.
Well, Dan, we have several updates on this story. Update number one comes as a character testimony. It comes from one Brad Williams.
who, when we said, why would this guy, who's with all this money, be doing the chitlin' circuit, pretty much, hitting up small comedy clubs on the circuit, and he said, this is according to Brad Williams, he's just wired that way, he's a strange guy, all he wants to do is do stand-up, and mess around with his cars, pretty much.
And so, like, the trappings of fame don't appeal to Jay Leno, so that would say, okay, makes sense, but, We got another update, this is courtesy of Billy Gill, courtesy of Pete Sirianni, remember him back at ESPN Radio? Courtesy of the Pittsburgh Tribune, where it turns out neither employees at the Hampton Inn, nor Dino's, the restaurant that was at the bottom of the hill,
remember seeing Jay Leno at any moment this last weekend.
That's weird. Right, and then we get a third update courtesy of Jeremy TachΓ©.
So we're questioning the story. I'm telling you, we're going back to our theory from yesterday. Again, hit the regular speculation sounder for those who missed it.
He's next door. I can go get him.
Stugatz, I'm going to talk it to Chris Sims right now, but I kind of feel like this is one of those times. Oh, he's texting. Stugatz is the leak, first of all, number one. Number two, I think if he would agree to interrupt his interview for just a second just to give us the clearance. Do I have your permission, Dan?
Jessica, I hear you. I appreciate your perspective. Two things. Number one, this wasn't Pittsburgh. This is 30 minutes outside of Pittsburgh.
It's not a huge piece of shit. It's a real piece of shit. Real. Number three, I've been seen to the hill. Jeremy showed it to me. It's not that kind of hill.
I wonder what it is.
I got whispered something in my ear that made me a lot less reckless.
Sounds plausible. Dan, here's the other thing about Jay Leno. If we could bring up his picture one more time. Jay Leno with the eye patch off, please. Cue it up. You know what he looks like? Looks like Harvey Dent. Yeah, Two-Face. Two-Face. Which brings us back to Batman Forever on Cinefold this week, wherever you get podcasts.
Oh, his is good. That's actually not bad. His is good. Not terrible. That's not terrible. We got to come together.
Thank you. Yes.
Because I would never ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country. Not even once. Not even if Mr. Boost Mobile himself asked me to. There is nothing funny about it. Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network and also provides coverage across 99% of America. Seriously.
Visit BoostMobile.com or your nearest Boost Mobile store location to learn more. The Boost Mobile network, together with our roaming partners, covers 99% of the U.S. population. 5G speeds not available in all areas.
Penis Freedom.
I just want to know what you guys know.
Okay, I'm new to Venmo, and I absolutely love the app. It makes paying anyone super convenient. But being new to Venmo, I was shocked that one of the aspects of Venmo is that complete strangers can ask you for money. And so I get this Venmo request for 20 bucks from a guy who I don't know who says book fan. That's a heady play.
As if he just read, you know, the Pride of a Lion book or perhaps Back in My Day book, either of my two recent books. But I didn't know that was a thing, that somebody could just say, hey, what am I, a GoFundMe page all of a sudden? Do I look like an ATM machine?
It surprised me. I was not warned of it. And now that I know about it, I don't object to it because I can just not... Pay it if I want. But you were objecting to it.
I'm going to ask him for $21.
I have eaten it in my life on a trip to Montreal at a meat place called Ben's. It's super caloric, super rich. Thank you. You are saying good words. You eat three spoonfuls of it and you're like full. It's too much for me. Yeah, it combines like three or four gravy and cheese.
It's a national dish of Canada.
Yeah, hasn't it been pretty much decriminalized across the country?
Ich denke, dass es einen Mittelpunkt gibt zwischen den Fans, die nicht zΓ€hlen und denen, die nicht zΓ€hlen. Ich denke, dass wenn wir wieder geschlossene Arenen haben, wie wΓ€hrend Covid, also vΓΆllig geschlossene, ohne Umgebung, ohne Erfahrung, also nichts. Ich denke, dass die Leute, die das Produkt im Fernsehen sehen, wahrscheinlich sagen, dass es nicht so interessant ist, wenn es niemanden da gibt.
Also die Fans zΓ€hlen, aber ich denke, wir sprechen nur von marginalen VergrΓΆΓern, die im groΓen Schema, wie wichtig Basketball ist fΓΌr unsere tΓ€gliche Sportkultur, nicht einfach verschwinden werden, weil die Leute nicht die All-Stars sehen.
You can spot a woman faking it.
By the way, I don't know if you guys have League Pass, but it is electric. You watch the entire in-stadium entertainment experience from your couch. You see the people doing like weird talent show things at halftime. You see people doing like finish the lyrics. It's the greatest thing of all time. There's just no commercials.
You're just watching people inside MSG or whatever arena doing dumb shit. And it's great. And then there's basketball. I love it. It's worth every penny.
I just find overreacting about the All-Star Game to be... Why are we doing that? We do it every year. It just doesn't matter. I don't understand why the show did this for the last week.
I don't know.
If the Heat were good this year, we'd be talking about how it's the greatest league in the whole world.
Was ist mit Poop-Baby?
Okay, jetzt weiΓt du was.
I mean, you guys sit by me every day. I don't burp, right?
It's always Roy, actually.
When Roy's not here, it's Jeremy.
I'm not ashamed of it. I burp constantly. Yes, she does. I love burping. I don't hold back. So what? Sorry, I'm not going to give up garlic, so I stop burping, Dan Levitard. It's my freedom of burp back here. I don't burp, I can burp.
Das ist nicht so ein gutes GefΓΌhl. Mein Liebes, wo bist du?
Wachst du dich auf und es ist niemand neben dir und du kannst dich ausbrechen? Unterrated feeling. The reason I burp is because I eat too fast. And I know it's my problem and I can't control it. I just, when I see food, I want to eat it really quickly. And then I burp for like 10 minutes and then I stop burping.
No, everyone knows this about me. If you've ever met me, you know I burp. Everyone in the family knows that. My grandma actually burps the worst. And it sort of has been passed down through the generations.
Exactly. The only thing she's passed down.
Or is it really loud?
I know, but I don't really care.
Das wΓ€re ein guter Anruf. Das ist der Dan-Levatar-Show mit Stugatz.
Cuervo.
Lakers had a 7-game home win streak snap. They were playing well, too. But you know what? Who the real winner is? We're talking about regular season NBA basketball games again. After the show has been declaring the NBA is dead for the last 10 days. That's right. NBA-Saison zurΓΌck, NBA zurΓΌck, das Show, watching regular season basketball.
Die Ratings gehen runter von 5% oder so, aber wir verbringen die ganze Woche des Superbowls, wenn wir ΓΌber den grΓΆΓten NBA-Kauf reden.
Oh, yeah. Don't tread on me license plates or something. Dan, seriously, you can't eat citrus? Like, what can you eat?
That's mystery crate. That is mystery crate, yeah. You guys aren't listening to that. No, I did. You did?
He did it!
Shadow show.
Load management. It's his first game of the year.
Yeah.
Woo! Woo! Woo!
We had to start over.
Do you guys go through phases where you get really into one snack for a while and then you just are like eating that snack a lot and buying it a lot and then you kind of get sick of it over a span of time and then you're like onto a new snack. Something that you're just like munching on. I am really into something right now and it is very expensive and it is very random and I can't stop eating it.
Macadamia nuts.
There was? Yeah. That's terrible.
They're not cheap. They're like slightly more expensive than almonds, which was my previous snack. But they're very, you know, almonds are very filling, lots of protein. So I was like waking up in the morning, I eat some almonds, go out, get some lunch, then I have some almonds after. It was like my little like palate cleanser after I eat a meal.
Probably macadamia nuts.
I think all nuts are healthy, though.
I've heard they're amazing.
Do you guys ever see Best in Show? What a movie. Two left feet. It was a Harlan Crow, Christopher Guest. I'm just naming nuts. Pistachio nut, pine nut.
He was on the show.
Oh, no. But Christopher Guest was a comedian.
Well, now we just grit our teeth through it. We haven't had one in a while, though.
Maybe we're due.
I thought so. They taste like butter. They're so good.
Look up the corn nut. Calories and fat are good for you.
Obviously, it's a moderation game.
You like corn nuts like that? I used to really like corn. I would eat them in class all the time. It was so loud. I've never corn nutted.
Oh, the flavored ones, yeah.
Whereas macadamia nuts right now, to me, it's the opposite. I feel like I'm eating a nice buttery piece of chocolate.
I love it.
Mike Ryan, you have some like occasional Midwestern tendencies. Yeah. And I think corn nuts is one of them.
Those are the only two.
They were right about can you pick it with the hands.
I am rooting for Tommy Reese, though. I want him to be successful. I want the Browns' defense to suck.
Did you go to the Georgia Tech game, if I recall, at the end? I was drunk. Speaking of, my grandma just texted me. I'm still laughing at him sitting on a pool table. Holy shit.
I think that's true. But going back to your point, Dan, like if Mike had said, I hate Notre Dame with a burning passion. I want them to lose by 60 points. I want them to have the most embarrassing game ever. I would be like, that's fair. I get that.
Weren't you born in the 80s? You were probably like six years old.
You know who's really in a pickle right now? Michigan fans. I've heard several different, sorry, you have a little schmutz on your face. It distracted me for a second.
No, it's like a little fuzz on the other side. It looks like a bug, actually. A bug? I don't think it's a bug. That'd be horrible. Because Michigan fans, I got it. It was a little fuzz. Michigan fans, they don't want Ohio State to win, obviously. But then at the same time, they're like, well, if Ohio State wins, we've won, we've beaten the best Ohio State team in like a decade.
And so that means like we're actually the best. But then at the same time, they're like, if Ohio, Michigan, Michigan finally won the national championship last year. And then Ohio State comes along. They're like, what? Like, it's hard. Like, you don't want them to win. They're your hated rival.
Oh, my God. All the championship pennants with the scores of every game and this NIU 16-14. That would be amazing. I said this last week, and I stand by it. If Notre Dame wins the national championship, Thomas Hammock gets a ring.
I'll give him a statue.
And he'll have the second best.
Thomas Hammond was like, here's how you beat Notre Dame. Have Riley Leonard have the worst game ever as a starting quarterback.
I don't mean to laugh at it, but sometimes, I don't know, if you've ever been in an athletic pursuit, sometimes you know you have to dig really deep. And some days you do. Some days I run a nine-minute mile, and I'm slow as shit, and I feel like ass after.
Some days I dig deep.
It's mental. It's totally mental.
You're slow as shit. You complete asshole. Run faster, you dumbass. I'm really mean to myself.
Yeah, I'm like, oh, I just worked out yesterday, you bitch. Fuck you.
And then when I'm running fast, I'm like, I'm unstoppable. I'm the fastest man in the whole world. No one can stop me. I'm so good at this. I'm so good at running. And then there's like seven people Zooming by me.
No, I'm not, Bane.
Women shouldn't even be allowed to run. Our uteruses will fall out. Fuck. No, it won't. I think. Is that even a thing?
Linebacker's coach.
Because he was on the Bengals team that played in the Super Bowl, I believe.
He was like, what, 40 when Miami hired him to be the head coach? Like he was the head coach at Temple and then came to Miami. And you're saying that he knew Miami was on double secret probation or whatever the hell happened.
At the end of the day, you're the DC. But I don't know. I was in middle school when this happened. He looks like he's 70.
He looks younger than Dan.
But Dan looks young. That was my point.
Dan doesn't look 70.
That's from this week.
Then we need a glasses photo of Dan to go next to it. Yeah.
And also, you're moving the goalpost. When you never said glasses, no glasses.
He looks weird. I don't think he looks old.
I don't know what that means. That has a different connotation to people born in the 90s.
I only made the comparison because they're the same age, okay?
I have, and I feel bad about it.
But we saw the Wilford clip yesterday. You look better now. Oh, way better.
No.
You hear that, kid reporters?
I don't know who that is, so if I laughed, that was... You don't know who Chris Penn is?
It's more disrespectful that I said I didn't know who he was than laughing at the mean joke.
Louder comedically is a funny fish, okay?
It's a mock turtle. That was hot back then. So 90s. And it's back now. I saw Matt Ryan wearing one on CBS this weekend, Dan.
I'm going to the national championship game. What are you talking about?
He came home to that! Was he also an eligible bachelor? Because that's...
You always get mad when we do any serious sports preview content.
You always get mad. She'll be there Tuesday.
We could talk about Notre Dame's left tackle issues now. I think Charles Jagusa is going to start at left tackle. Knapp is out.
Which means Rocco Spindler's probably good to go at right guard.
Steve Angeli's my fave.
No, I'm with you. Let's make this easy. Here's the divisional round schedule. Saturday, 4.30 p.m. Eastern. Houston at Kansas City, 8 p.m. on Fox. Washington at Detroit. Sunday, L.A. at Philadelphia, 3 p.m. NBC and Peacock. Sunday night, Baltimore at Buffalo, 6.30 p.m. on CBS. Big, big-ass game. National championship as it has been for I don't know how many years now.
We're going to be in Atlanta. I'm going to say early dinner. You guys go back to the hotel. Me and Lehman, we got to go to a bar. We got to watch this game.
Yeah, you may be alone on that one. Lucy and I will have a new Gen CFB this week in which I talked about a little bit of my thought process going into the game. Best case scenario, Notre Dame wins. I retire from my job. I move to an island somewhere. You never hear from me again. My life's work is complete. It's over. I have nothing to live for. I'll just paint pictures or make greeting cards.
I don't know. One of my life's passions somewhere. I don't need anything anymore. I'm happy. I'm content. My soul's complete. Or Notre Dame loses. They're the second best team in the country this year. I keep doing what I'm doing. Either way, I'm a happy little clam.
Well, he said, so if you've been following this football season, Ohio State's players have been extremely vocal about being religious. And so Riley Leonard as well, and he made a comment yesterday. He was like, God's been on our side this season. We're the two most...
vocally religious teams and look we're in the national championship game some people obviously took offense to that some people were like that's awesome um i don't know i just know jesus hates texas and penn state it's a god off uh but why colorado is also religious
Yeah, I think a lot of people have been writing like, is Notre Dame likable now takes, which I get what we're doing with that. That's like a, hey, Brian Kelly's not their head coach anymore. The new head coach is actually like seems like a nice guy. I think fans of either team, if I want, I may speak for Ohio State fans. They don't really care if people like them.
They just want to win the football game. So, like, I could think of a hundred national championship matchups where I would be rooting for the Asteroid, too. And that doesn't really offend me as a Notre Dame fan, as I think Mike Ryan wouldn't be offended if we were like, ew, Miami and Ohio State, disgusting. I don't want one of these teams to win. You'd be like, yeah, haha, suck it.
I'm in the game.
And breaks villainy.
Exactly. So, like, eh, doesn't bother me.
No, please.
No, no. Again, on Gen CFB, Lucy said, I consider Notre Dame spiritually Big Ten. And I threw up on my sweatshirt when she said that.
Spiritually, Notre Dame is nothing.
Catholic, I guess, technically. But not in a conference.
I do want to go back to something I said last Friday, which was like they they played bad in the first half and then they just like played tough in the second half. Every coordinator after the game was like, yeah, we didn't really make any halftime adjustments. Like we just played like Al Golden was like, we just played better in the second half. So that corny analysis was accurate.
And I will say one more thing. Al Golden has done such a good job at Notre Dame. I know several people that are like, no, he is the hot coach of the football team. They love him. They love his glasses. They love his rosy cheeks.
It was like there's eight SEC teams in the top. Missouri is still right. Okay, weiter. Sie sagen das nicht auf Blue Sky, ΓΌbrigens.
Ja, das wΓ€re groΓartig. Aber ja, ich verstehe nicht, warum die SEC so ΓΌberrascht ist. Es ist dumm. Weil es immer noch ein paar Spiele gibt, die in der SEC gespielt werden, die fΓΌr das Spiel groΓe Bedingungen haben werden. Also wenn Georgia gegen Tennessee gewinnt, Es scheint so zu sein, dass sie da sein werden, egal, was noch passiert.
Aber das Miami-Ding war, wie ich dachte, ΓΌberraschend, weil sie immer noch als eine Ausgabe-Wiege vertreten sind. Sie sind immer noch das hΓΆchste gewΓ€hlte ACC-Team. Ich dachte, dass die SMU sie diese Woche ΓΌberschreiten kΓΆnnte, weil wenn du sie vergleichst mit ihren Verlusten, Miami's Verlust ist schlechter als Georgia Tech, SMU ist 9-0 gegen BYU.
Und wenn du sie vergleichst mit ihren gemeinsamen Gegnern, SMU hat Louisville gewonnen, Miami beat Louisville, that's Miami's best win. SMU beat Duke by a smaller margin than Miami beat Duke. So I guess maybe that's where they're differing there. But I just was surprised by that. I guess not that surprised. But again, it might not even matter in a week. So I'm not getting too upset about it.
Well, I asked Lucy what she wanted to talk about this week and she said she didn't have anything she wanted to talk about. So we talked about the playoff, we talked about Miami and Georgia Tech a little bit.
Es ist schΓΆn, wenn es deinem Team zutrifft, aber wenn es jemand anderem passiert, sagst du, das ist dumm und ich hasse diesen Format. Und ich denke, jeder Team wird das irgendwann erleben, mit dem neuen College-Football-Playoff-Format. Tennis sitzt gerade in einem sehr schΓΆnen Playoff-Spiel, weil sie das einzige Verlust der Saison hatten.
Und sie haben die Chance, dieses Wochenende noch hΓΆher zu kommen, wenn sie Georgia gewinnen. Whatever. Lucy, I just can't get too upset about it. At the moment, I will get upset about it in like three or four weeks. Oh yeah. So do you want to talk about any other playoff stuff before we move on to week 11?
Did you guys see the mega targeting in the Miami-Georgia Tech game where the Georgia Tech players helmet got twisted off with the face mask and then there was like the targeting hit?
Sie sagt, ich verstehe nicht, warum BYU nicht hΓΆher ist, wenn sie unvergesslich sind. Und du sagst, es ist egal, Susan. Es ist wirklich nicht.
Hm, okay, gute Chance, mean things to Lucy zu sagen, wenn du YouTube-Kommentator bist. Okay, wir gehen weiter mit den groΓen Spielen dieses Wochenende. Miami at Georgia Tech, erste Verletzung der Miami-Saison. Es gab eine tolle Foto eines Georgia Tech-Fans, der Miami-Fan schluchzte und lachtete, und es war sehr lustig. Das war ein groΓer Wettbewerb fΓΌr Georgia Tech zu Hause.
Brent Key, er hat Mario's Number, Lucy. Sie haben es wieder gemacht. I would say less fluky than the last one. This didn't require a catastrophic coaching error for Georgia Tech to win. This was a good ball control, eliminate Miami offensive possessions type game. Georgia Tech ran the ball so well.
Even with two of their best running backs out for most of this game, Jamal Haynes went out after he had a big run in the first quarter. So what did you think of this big win from Georgia Tech? And does this change your opinion of Miami at all as one of the best teams in college football?
Yeah, Lucy missed that, so I tried to explain it to her. And you'll hear that later in the segment. And then we talked about, there's a lot of good games this weekend. Especially, like, my eyes are on the Big 12 right now. That league, I feel like anything can happen over the next three weeks in the Big 12. And it's going to have a major implication on which team ends up in the playoff.
Well, I think so right now Miami has the tiebreaker over Clemson. Miami and SMU both beat Louisville and Clemson lost to Louisville. So right now, if the season ended today, one of Taylor's favorite games, Miami would be in the ACC Championship game against SMU. But I did want to point out something, which is that Miami's defense in F+, which combines
Brian Formos FBI efficiency rating and Bill Connolly's S&P plus rating. So an F plus Miami on defense has a rank of 51, Lucy, 51 on defense to find another team with a Defensive Rating that low, you have to scroll all the way down to the number 31 team in F plus, which is North Carolina, which has the 58th best defense in F plus defensive rating.
So that is a massive issue if you're a team trying to A win regular season games, but B make a run in the playoffs because they're going to be playing against a lot better offenses nachdem sie durch den Streit von Weick Forest und Syracuse durchgekommen sind. Das ist ein groΓes Problem fΓΌr Miami.
Aber ihre Offensive ist natΓΌrlich Nummer eins in F+, was ziemlich gut ist, weil sie Cam Ward und Xavier Restrepo bekommen haben, die die Defense in vielen Situationen geholfen haben. Aber es ist nicht passiert. Es gab auch einen mega Targeting Penalty in diesem Spiel.
Is it going to be BYU? Is it going to be Colorado? Is it going to be a mystery third option? There's tons of teams still in it.
Nicht so gut. Es gab ein Gesichtsmaskin und der Miami-Spieler hat den Mann in den KΓΆrper geschlagen und sein Helm flog weg. Es war einfach schrecklich. Und dann gab es auch einen Georgia Tech Linebacker mit einem Neckroll, der groΓartig war. Er endete in Schmerzen.
Das war ein sehr lustiges Spiel, ein tolles Nachmittagspiel letzten Wochenende, ich habe es geliebt und ja, ich bin ΓΌberrascht, dass du es verpasst hast, Lucy, weil es sehr lustig war, aber das bringt uns zu einem anderen groΓen Spiel vom letzten Wochenende, Georgia gegen Ole Miss, Lucy. It looked disgusting at this game. It was similar to the game you were at.
Just like nasty, rainy and disgusting and gross.
Kansas ist sehr interessant. Sie haben viele EinschrΓ€nkungen verloren.
Ja, aber ich denke, dass sie, ich meine, wenn sie rausgingen, hatten sie ihren groΓen, schrecklichen Fummel frΓΌh genug in der Saison, dass ich denke, dass die Leute es bereits vergessen haben, also das ist groΓartig fΓΌr sie, aber ja, Jackson Dart, ich denke, wir sagten letzte Woche, dass er ein wirklich gutes Spiel fΓΌr Mississippi gewinnen muss, und er hat gut gespielt, aber der Mississippi Backup Quarterback musste fΓΌr einen Drive kommen, Austin Simmons, und er hat auch wirklich, wirklich gut gespielt in diesem Spiel, weil Jackson Dart seine Beine verletzt hat, also musste er ein bisschen sitzen, also das war ein wirklich groΓartiges
Offensive Performance, but the real reason I think that they won this game was obviously the defense. The defense was just in Georgia's face the entire game. Five sacks, nine tackles for loss, four forced fumbles. It was like we said, disgusting out there. And then back through another interception.
And the players for Mississippi that are making a lot of these plays, especially with the pass rush, are transfer players that are making a huge impact later in the season. Kirby Smart hat auch nach dem Spiel gesagt, Lane hat ihn gecoacht, was ich interessant fand. Aber es war ein guter Spiel.
Und ich denke, es ist eine Schande, dass die grΓΆΓte Kontroverse, die aus diesem Spiel herauskommt, ist, dass ein Georgia-Spieler seine Freunde auf der Mississippi-Seite gesehen hat, nach dem Spiel, rutschte auf dem Feld und dann begann, hoch und runter zu springen und zu lachen. Und jeder war so, das ist illegal. Du solltest das tun kΓΆnnen. Ja, oh, schau.
Boom! Das war ein schrecklicher Hitsch.
Er hat gesagt, das war ein dummer Idiot. Und ich dachte, okay, wow. Es gibt auch Lucy, einen tollen Punt in diesem Spiel. Wahrscheinlich der beste Spiel des Spiels. Georgias Punter hatte einen tollen Punt in der 1-Jahr-Linie. Aber ja, jetzt spielt Georgia Tennessee, den wir in einer Minute sehen werden. Aber zuerst sollten wir ΓΌber Alabama und LSU sprechen.
Ich weiΓ nicht, ob wir das machen mΓΌssen. Jalen Milrow ist einfach... Der Spiel war schlecht. Der Spiel war schlecht. Der Spiel war schlecht. Der Spiel war schlecht. Der Spiel war schlecht. Der Spiel war schlecht. Der Spiel war schlecht.
Und ich habe auch gelernt, dass viele, die FuΓball spielen, noch nicht wissen, dass man den Spieler nicht in den Kopf oder Nacken schieΓen muss, um zu zΓ€hlen. Wenn man mit dem Helm mit dem Knie lebt, dann macht man einen unvermeidbaren Kontakt. Targeting ist immer noch eine faszinierende Sache fΓΌr viele Leute. Aber das war Targeting.
Ja, und ich liebe es, wenn Jalen Milrow ein Spiel wie das hat. 185 Bars, vier Touchdowns, insbesondere das 72-Bars-Scoring-Run. Und Garrett Nussmeier hatte ein brutales Spiel. Er hat sechs Turnovers in den letzten zwei Spielen, Lucy. Das ist nicht groΓartig. Das sind Carson Beck-Nummern. Das ist nicht gut.
Bevor wir auf das nΓ€chste Wochenende gehen, das nΓ€chste Wochenende, dieses Wochenende, sagst du dieses Wochenende oder nΓ€chstes Wochenende? Ich weiΓ es nicht. Das nΓ€chste Wochenende. BYU hat fast in Utah verloren. Und wir haben schon ΓΌber den Athleten-Direktor gesprochen, der sich wirklich ΓΌberrascht hat und gesagt hat, dass das Spiel von ihnen verloren wurde.
Aber es gab ein schlechtes Klopfen-Management in diesem Spiel, Lucy. Und es kam zu einem 44-Jahre-Win-Field-Goal mit vier Sekunden, um BYU unverletzt zu bleiben.
Hm, das ist, Γ€h, er kΓΆnnte recht sein. Die Offense, die Offense, F+, das gleiche Rating, das wir gerade gesprochen haben, kombiniert mit FEI und S&P Plus, sind jetzt 36. Und das ist ein Team, das in den Top, Γ€h, was ist es, in den Top 6 im College Football Playoff gelangt ist. Ja, also das ist interessant. Sie haben einen schwierigen Schedule, der Big 12 ist wirklich seltsam.
Wir werden dazu sprechen. Aber, Γ€hm, denken Sie, dass sie bis zum Big 12-Championship-Spiel undefeiert bleiben werden?
Ja, Kansas ist einer dieser Teams, deren Rekord ist ziemlich schlecht, aber sie haben auch eine Menge Einspieler-Spieler verloren und ein bisschen unglΓΌcklich gewesen sind. Und die letzten Wochen haben es so ausgesprochen, es ein bisschen offensiver herauszufinden. Also denke ich, das wird ein wirklich interessantes Spiel dieses Wochenende sein.
Es war auch ein Gesichtsmask, aber man kann keine Penalty stacken, also war es ein 15-Jahr-Penalty.
We are getting nutty with Hampton Farms Peanuts, the official snack nut of the tailgate, Lucy, and they're sponsoring our week 12 preview. So we already talked about this exciting BYU Kansas game, but there is also another exciting SEC game, which I think we've said every single week this year, Georgia and Tennessee. That is going to be the big game of the weekend.
I think Georgia needs to win this game. And if they do, there is going to be a lot of two lost teams in the SEC and everyone's going to be really confused and angry about it.
Das ist interessant. Technisch ist es der oberste KΓΆrper. Ja, die HΓ€nde am Top. Das ist der oberste KΓΆrper. Ich mag, dass dieses Spiel in Athens ist, Lucy. Georgia, eine tolle AtmosphΓ€re in der Heimat. Ich denke, sie werden dieses Spiel gewinnen. Ich denke, sie werden dieses Spiel gewinnen.
Und ich denke, es wird die College-Football-Playoff-Rankungen ein noch grΓΆΓeres Messen machen, als es schon war.
Dylan Sampson sah so aus, als hΓ€tte er gegen Mississippi State gespielt. Hoffentlich ist er gesund. Der Tennessee Offense ist nicht der Offense, den wir im Jahr begonnen haben. Es ist eher ein Power-Run-Game-Offense. Und sie sind erfolgreicher am Ball zu spielen. Ich denke, wenn er gesund ist und Niko gesund ist, wird Georgia ein Lowscoring-Spiel behalten. just beast it out at the end.
So we'll see about that one. But we also got some other really good games, Lucy. We got Clemson and Pitt, which is like kind of low-key kind of interesting. Tulane and Navy, which has massive implications in the American Athletic Conference. We have Utah and Colorado, which every Big 12 team is sort of in the mix right now, because anything can happen over these last three weeks.
And then we have LSU and Florida, which if DVJ Laguay is healthy, Das kΓΆnnte interessant sein.
Ja, ich denke, Missouri war schrecklich gegen jeden guten Offensiv, den sie gespielt haben. Und SΓΌdkorea hat statistisch gesagt einen ziemlich guten Offensiv, obwohl sie viele Verletzungen und so hatten. Wir wissen, dass ihre Defense gut ist. Und ihre Defense hat sie ein paar Spiele gewonnen. Aber abhΓ€ngig von Shane Beamer, der in der ersten Quartiere dieses Spiels etwas wirklich seltsames macht,
I think South Carolina will win that game and Missouri will finally exit the top 25 rankings. Sorry, Eli Drinkwitz. I know that you were very happy to put yourself back in the conversation after that Oklahoma win, but I'm ready to kick you right back out.
Well, we will be here to talk about whatever the week, blood or non-blood week. We will be here to talk about it next week.
All right, well, have fun. And if you like the show, subscribe, follow, send us a message. Tell us what you want us to talk about. We're always here.
Dan, first of all, 1 o'clock game on Sunday. Ravens are a three-point favorite right now on the road. Lamar Jackson has been injured for a lot of his time in Baltimore when they played against the Steelers. And he's only won in three against the Steelers. So he's missed a bunch of games and lost a few games.
And last year they lost that really weird game against Pittsburgh where there were a ton of drops. And it was just a very weird and unlucky game for the Ravens. But also the Steelers just... Sie spielen eine wirklich schwierige Defense.
Und ich denke, wir haben den Argument gewonnen, den wir am Anfang des Shows begonnen haben, ΓΌber die Defense der Stealers zu sprechen, dass sie mental und physisch schwer sind. Und wenn du ΓΌber AFC North Football sprichst, der diese Saison auf Hard Knocks verΓΆffentlicht wird, dann ist das hier der gewinnende Argument. Diese Teams sind mental und physisch schwer.
Obwohl, du hast recht, Ravens Defense.
Ich glaube, wir haben gerade 11 gemacht. Ich glaube, wir sind jetzt auf 12. Und ich mag es nicht so sehr. Aber auch Lucy, gleichzeitig ist die Saison nur halbwegs vorbei. Oh ja. Weil es jetzt Mitte Januar ist.
Cheesy in a good way, because I don't.
Were you cheesing when you watched the College Football Playoff Selection Committee show on Tuesday night?
Lucy, als ich gestern gefragt habe, worΓΌber du diese Woche sprechen wolltest, hast du gesagt, dass du nicht einen Gedanken in deinem Kopf hΓ€ttest. Jetzt, dass es 24 Stunden gedauert hat, hast du irgendwelche Gedanken ΓΌber diese College-Football-Week im Allgemeinen getroffen? Willst du mit deiner Reise nach LSU anfangen?
Du hattest auch zu viel gut in einem Wochenende, von dem ich sehr stolz war. Und wir haben es geschafft. Also, die LSU verliert Alabama, aber Lucy, die LSU ist noch in den Top 25 der College-Football-Playoff-Rankungen eingestiegen. Einer der mehr aufregenden Rankingen, denke ich, die ich auf der Selektionsshow am Dienstag gesehen habe.
War da etwas, was dir wirklich stand, was du darΓΌber sprechen mΓΆchtest, bevor wir unsere kleine Rekap von Woche 11 machen? Denn auΓerhalb von der LSU, Und vielleicht Miami und vielleicht SMU. Es gibt nicht so viel, worΓΌber ich verΓ€rgert bin.
Nein? Nein? Nein, aber sie ranken aus... ResΓΌmee und Penn State hat nur ein Spiel verloren und es ist eine bessere Verletzung als Tennessee, eine Verletzung gegen Arkansas. Also, ich glaube, das ist, was sie tun. Aber ihr bestes Wettbewerb ist... Γberall ist es einfach so, dass es nicht ist.
Es gibt keinen anderen Ort, um die Finger zu bewegen. Du hast es gestern gesagt. Es ist nicht so, dass er nicht wusste, dass sie keine Timouts hatten. Er hat sich einfach... Von dem Moment an, als sie in der HΓΌtte waren, haben sie gesagt, hey, wir haben keine Timouts. Bis zu dem, was auf dem Spiel stattfand, was ihn so furchtbar machte, dass es fast wie eine Reaktion auf den Knien war.
Wie in den Kartoons in den alten Tagen. Sie schieΓen dich mit dem Hammer auf den Knien und dann kippst du einfach. Das ist genau das, was er gemacht hat. Bullshit happened on the court.
They could have taken a delay a game. He could have just walked out onto the court and they would have called delay a game, because you get one warning before they hit you with the automatic.
No, I don't think you can.
Well, they had six people on the floor, so it was up to him. It's not actually a sub. It's like, oh no, that guy's supposed to go.
So that's the funny thing, because Dan bills it as this is for the YouTube audience, the early arriving YouTube audience. But I'm not a YouTube consumer. I consume it via audio. It's in the audio. So this is basically the show. It's not a shadow show. It's in no shadows. It's out there in the light.
Yeah, man. It's a game within the game, damn. It's a game called Loopholes. Giannis won that game the other night. Spoh lost the Loophole game.
Not even once. Not even if Mr. Boost Mobile himself asked me to. There is nothing funny about it.
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No way.
I don't even know if you're playing or if you're real right now, Jess. That's the scary part. Right? I don't know. You know, I'm sorry, I know we said we were going to talk politics. The Secretary of Defense one is the one that blew my mind. He got a news host to go. Look. That's the one that blew my mind. That one doesn't even register anymore. Honestly, that one does blow my mind.
I'll tell you why. Here's why. Because I can hear people say, oh, that Matt Gaetz thing, that's a conspiracy. He never did any of that. That's just the liberal media. I can hear them say that. What I cannot hear is any actual explanation that a TV host should be the Secretary of Defense, should be in charge of generals and armies and the Pentagon. I cannot, like, that's the part.
Is there not a line for them over there, them bar there, across the aisle, to say, hey, hold on, what the are we doing?
But they won. They got it all. You have it all. Right? No, you have it all. It's yours. What is it about aliens? Do it what you please, but not that.
Yes, that's what he's suggesting. I mean, what voice was that earlier that you just did? A Bane. Not a good Bane, though. That was a Bane?
Und das ist das, worΓΌber wir heute reden werden. Nein, aber reden ΓΌber das, worΓΌber wir reden werden, wΓΌrde Sinn machen. Wir reden nur darΓΌber, wenn wir The Shadow Show machen. Nichts, was wir in The Shadow Show machen, macht Sinn. Es sollte eine Minute sein, wo man sagt, hey, wie geht's, bevor das Show beginnt? And then it turned into five minutes and a topic.
Der Meister Bane. Sie hat einen anderen Bane. Einen besseren Bane. Es ist auch anders. Es ist nicht nur ein normaler Bane.
We keep talking about Bane.
I've given you guys the voice of the internet for years. It's whiny. Oh my god. That's the internet. What are you talking about?
And then it turned into, hey, let's do an entire segment, but not on camera. So we forced our video team to start putting it on camera because otherwise we were all doing an extra segment of show for no reason. That's not a shadow show because it goes on the audio podcast. So we're just giving extra show for no reason. None of it makes any sense. We've broken Jeremy.
You know what? They missed a great opportunity. They should have bought it anonymously and kept running it as if it's still InfoWars, but just... infiltrate it with more and more ridiculous stories, just to see how far people will believe with this.
Oh, don't you worry.
Let me play devil's advocate here. What if the Shadow Show was kind of like in the batter's circle? You're taking some practice swings. You're not actually at bat. We have our donut on our back.
Wie wir es schon lange gemacht haben. Weil die Ad-Bats zΓ€hlen an diesem Punkt. Nein, du brauchst ein paar Praxis-Swinge.
Dan, I think Wenn wir darΓΌber reden, mΓΌssen wir klar sein, wie Chris gesagt hat, es ist ein Spektrum. FΓΌr uns ist es wie, wenn NBA-Spieler sagen, oh ja, wie viele Punkte hast du in der NBA gespielt? Du vergleichst dich nicht mit mir. Wenn du gewesen wΓ€rst, wΓΌrdest du nicht in der Liga sein. Die Vergleiche sind gegen deine Peer. Und so sind es Peer, die miteinander sprechen.
Es ist wie, wenn Steph Curry Klay Thompson sagt, du bist nicht so gut wie ein SchΓΌtter. FΓΌr Steph Curry ist er nicht so gut. FΓΌr den Rest von uns ist er natΓΌrlich viel besser als jeder, den wir je gesehen haben. Also... Wenn sie das sagen, wenn Elliot das sagt, sagt er es in der... Du kannst nicht sagen, dass die Jungs herumlaufen und sich verletzen. NatΓΌrlich, er weiΓ das.
Dan, I'm pretty sure, like, Terry Rozier war der beste Basketballspieler in der Mittelschule, die er jemals gespielt hat, wahrscheinlich in der Hochschule. In der Schule war er wirklich gut. Und dann kommst du zu den Profis und du denkst dir, oh ScheiΓe, es gibt viele Leute, die so gut sind.
Zachary Richarchet von den Atlanta Hawks sagte am anderen Tag, in Europa war ich der meiste Athleten und hier bin ich nur ein Typ. Und vielleicht, wenn es um Ricky Williams geht, ja, er ist hart in der Hochschule, ja, er ist hart, der harteste in der Schule, aber wenn man in die Pros kommt und Ray Lewis sieht, oh, ich bin nicht so hart, nicht so hart, ich bin hart, ich bin nicht so hart.
The show hasn't started yet. This is the shadow show. Except it's going to the whole audience. If there are consequences, we're on. The whole audience sees Aaron Judge take them bullshit practice swings at the batter's circle.
Und weiΓt du, warum sie stΓ€rker waren? Weil Nick Foles ein Arm hatte, das zwischen seinen Beinen hΓ€ngte, das er mit drei Fingern darauf zeigte.
Sie ist einfach so, verdammt, okay, wir gehen wieder zurΓΌck. Es schlΓ€gt wirklich zu Hause, all die Punkte, die sie versucht hat zu machen, die Pablo Torre herausfindet. Vielleicht ist sie ein bisschen anders verarbeitet. WeiΓt du, was ich meine? I don't know what you mean.
Not even a my bad? Not even my bad. There wasn't even like a, you're supposed to raise your hand like, sorry, right?
Einen dieser Tage mΓΆchte ich zu diesen Tahoe-Trips gehen.
I hear midsection and I think you got hit in the abs.
Ich glaube, was du gerade entdeckt hast, ist ein neues Segment namens Loopholes. Was er gemacht hat, war den Loopholes zu schieΓen, weil, wenn du nicht weiΓt, der groΓe Balldanzer, den Sam Cassell genannt hat, wurde von der Film-Major League populiert. Pedro Serrano, richtig? Er ging um die BΓ€sse, und er schΓΌttelte zwei groΓe, unbeleuchtete Beine, als er die BΓ€sse schieb.
No, I know that reference. I don't know what the Shadow Show actually is.
Eddie House war, glaube ich, der Stahl, der die Kamellen zurΓΌckbrach.
Als Eddie es machte, war es ein Problem. Also, dieser Tanz wurde jetzt von der NBA verabschiedet. Du machst es, es ist automatisch. Was Giannis gemacht hat, ist, er hat gesagt, okay, du hast gesagt, kein Shirt, keine Schuhe, keine OberflΓ€che. Niemand hat etwas ΓΌber Pants gesagt. I mean, the detail that actually gets him out of trouble
Ja, er ist es, weil er sich darauf hinweist, als es sich zurΓΌckzieht. Er ist sehr stolz.
Hast du je deine Hand schlafen lassen und du schlΓ€fst sie? Hast du die Blutblut in sich gelegt?
That was the big news out of Washington yesterday.
Ich habe Spoh in vielen Postgame-Press-Konferenzen gesehen, insbesondere in den Playoffs und in den NBA-Finals. Ich habe ihn noch nie gesehen, als er so verletzt war. Und was es ist, ist genau das, was du beschreibst. Es ist... A lot of times you lose a game, you're like, well, the game wasn't lost on that play. We could have done this better, we could have done that better. But he knows...
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
He did it.
We seized on it.
He looks so dorky. What are you talking about? He looks kind of cool. It's cool he's on the court at a basketball game. You have a cool job.
When I first moved here, I used to get very frustrated with how bad the driving is and how inconsiderate and impatient the drivers are. And it would really drive me crazy because you would have people... One of my biggest pet peeves is when you're in the left turn lane or the right turn lane and the light just turns green and someone comes around you and turns around you in front of you.
It's insane and it's just impatient.
From behind you. Oh, okay. You're in line to turn left and the car behind you cuts you off and turns in front. It's so dangerous and it really just, this happens constantly. This isn't like, oh, I saw this happen one time. Like once a week I see someone, someone does this to me. And it's starting to really wear on me to the point where now I've become a really impatient driver.
Because now I'm dealing with all of these other impatient drivers all the time. So it's starting to grate on me. And I realized this driving into work today. There was a bicyclist in the right lane on Biscayne. It's like a four lane, it's not a highway, but it's a busy thoroughfare. Right out in front of the Kasaya Center. And he's going so slow.
He's probably riding his bike like four miles an hour. And I'm behind him. And what'd you do? And I can't switch lanes because I have to turn into the parking garage.
So I'm just going so slowly, so slowly.
Nothing. I didn't do anything. Come on.
But I felt my blood pressure rise into my throat. My heart was beating in my face because I was so impatient. And it was making me so angry. Even though I was like 30 seconds away from being at work. I was right here.
But I can't, like, I have no zen anymore, Dan. It's just completely worn me down as a human being. I have no zen when I drive. Everything just is making me so mad. I'm laying on my horn more. I'm yelling at people. I'm flipping the bird at people constantly.
When I first moved here, I was like, oh my God, these drivers are terrible. But I would just be patient and take my time and just be like, they're crazy. I'm not crazy. And now it's making me crazy. And if I lived here another 10 years, I would start cutting people off in the left lane.
It's just the way of the roads here. It's f***ing insane. Yeah.
No, this has to be one of the least safe places in the world to ride your bicycles. I used to ride my bike in Manhattan every single day coming to and from work, like multiple miles a day. And it's not like it's very safe there, but I'd follow the rules of the road. And there were some areas like under the FDR where there's no cars.
So like you knew you were probably not going to get hit, like fingers crossed. But here I would never, ever, ever ride a bike on the street.
I have heard that it's the opposite in New York. The two months of congestion pricing have drastically decreased the amount of pedestrian accidents because there's obviously fewer cars on the road. But I mean, to your point, like I have issues with like all of it.
I think also drivers in Miami need to be aware they are driving a killing machine and they need to not put themselves and put other people at risk constantly doing these insane things. Yesterday, someone turned left into a traffic circle and almost hit me head on.
A traffic circle, the universal place where you go right. Other than like in two countries. In my defense, those are confusing.
It's wild. But that's literally what people do at the Coco Plum circle here. It's two lanes. It's one lane and then you turn. It's not that hard.
I'm getting upset even talking about it. It's making me a worse person. I feel worse when I drive. I feel bad when I get to work in the morning. I feel bad when I get in my car to go home at night. I used to not commute in my car every single day, and I was a much happier person, but then I moved, and now I have to, and it's just really my quality.
I can't imagine what JerBear and Chris and Greg and Stugatz feel every single day because they live the farthest.
This is why I don't think you like God, by the way. In Miami, 99% of people are just looking at their phones like this. I honk at people when I see them looking at their phones all the time. Or if I'm walking across the street and someone's standing there on their phone, I wave at them. I look psychotic. I wave at them and I'm like, put your phone down. You're going to hit a child.
The Arc de Triomphe roundabout?
Twelve lanes of traffic, apparently. Whoa. Wait, no.
That can't be right. Champs-ΓlysΓ©es is an eight-lane road, four in each direction. Four in each direction. The Arc de Triomphe roundabout is 12 lanes.
But don't you see how our lives are just made so much worse by everyone being so angry that it makes otherwise not angry people angry. This is where I'm at. It's the only time I'm angry. I had a quality of life before I moved here. And now I'm in parking garages and I'm driving and my blood pressure is just getting Hotter and hotter and hotter in my chest.
Okay, it's not like it snows every day in the Northeast. But it's miserable. It snows like twice a winter. We've had good days. And you don't drive there.
I'm with you. The weather has been amazing the last two months. I will never, never, ever, ever dispute that. I am, however, about to go to a doctor's appointment on Miami Beach where I have to show my driver's license to be able to park at my doctor's office.
Someone listening to this is probably like, what is she talking about? There's all these restrictions on parking in Miami Beach.
You have to prove you're a resident to park somewhere.
I didn't have this anger before. Yes, you did. No, I didn't. Yes, you did.
No, I mean, because it's hot, the sun is beating down at me in my car, I'm tired, I've been in my car for an hour, it should have only taken 20 minutes to get where I want to go, but it's taken an hour, and I am beat down and exhausted, and now I'm dealing with this idiot. That's where the anger is. I could be doing anything else with my time. Those 40 minutes, I could be at Pilates class,
No anger at all there. I could be walking my dog down the street, chasing a lizard. I could be sitting on my couch eating. I could be doing anything that gives me joy and instead I'm in my car dealing with these assholes.
Sorry, I was finishing my Kevin waffle that I was trying to eat during the break.
The last thing I heard was Chris's John Skipper impression. Please, someone tell me what happened.
The film Spotlight was based off of some of the fantastic investigative journalism done in your newsroom on the Catholic Church sexual abuse scandal. And famously, Liv Schreiber actually played you in the film. I know you're a very serious man, but how would you grade his performance of you in that film?
Comedians are inherently at their best anti-establishment period, right? Like they're poking fun at the establishment. What it's been though is that The right, the present like establishment right has branded themselves as anti-establishment.
And so it's been really easy for comedians to shift to the right, be establishment, sucking up to all of these people who are establishment, painting themselves as anti-establishment. It's interesting to see Bill Burr genuinely be that in a time where that hasn't been the case as much in modern comedy when Joe Rogan is leading the way.
And the subversive stuff is important. I think it's also like we've learned that nobody understands anything on deeper levels at this point when consuming media. So that's why there's so many folks who are frustrated by
platforming anybody because we've learned the general audience of anything is kind of too stupid to pick up on anything deeper than the surface level and that's why bill burr so directly just going after elon musk with jokes is kind of fun to watch because it's not this second hand way of doing it it's Hey, man, I'm going after you.
And it's clear to everyone what the intention is, which it's a shame that that's where we're at. But it's clear that context is just no longer really part of the conversation.
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Although he has a really, really, really good bit about a horse loose in a hospital.
Come on, man. Is the medieval English like with a loud, obnoxious accent or is this just a subtle, right, is it all that?
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I just think it's cool that Bill Burr is wading into this. Because, as we know, most comedians these days are not exactly going to the left on their comedy. They're going to the right on their comedy and toward their audience. And, you know, we've had this conversation electorally. Does the left need their version of Joe Rogan? Is Bill Burr that? I don't really care.
I'm not interested in that conversation because I think it makes it too simplified in what the issues are in the voting delegate. I just think it's great that you have someone who is out there. And authentically just expressing how he feels about it and relating to so many people who are so frustrated, but not doing it by stoking the fires of, oh, hey, go look at the trans community. They suck.
Or go look at this community. They suck. It's not punching down at anybody. It's punching up, which is the thing we've been arguing about with other famous comedians for the last... How many years now? This is finally someone punching up at the establishment in a real way.
I don't know that you could argue that things are sure. I get that part of it.
I just think that when we look at what that shift has been, I would not argue that over the last seven or eight years, it's shifted conversationally the direction that you're talking about. If anything, this has been a result of the last, since 2016, us shifting further and further in our conversation away from what we had established the decade before. Because this is sort of acting like...
All these different communities sort of became a part of the conversation only once Trump was elected. And if anything, it was that he used a lot of those communities to get elected the first time. And they've only become a deeper part of the conversation since. So seeing as this. They've been the sort of easy target within comedy for the last now five to 10 years.
It's interesting to see another perspective being taken. And this isn't even in stand up, by the way. These are just in interviews. These are just on podcasts. These are just it. You know, there was one interview where he would say, was it a sneaker shop? Like there's random jokes being thrown. And that's it's kind of fun. It's it's it's.
Different than what we've seen from a lot of mainstream comedians as of late. And I think that's kind of fun.
But why are we seeing it come from Bill Burr and not a lot of other places?
Or a lot of other kind of seen it from comedians as famous as Bill Burr, I guess, is more the thing. Right. Because we only have these conversations when it's one of the five to 10 most famous comedians. If Mulaney was doing something, we obviously talked about Chappelle over and over and over and over and over again here.
Before we talk about Jeremy's song, can we talk about another song that went viral many, many moons ago? I mean, do you remember when the Blazers had an anthem singer start singing the national anthem a couple decades ago?
And Mo Cheeks came up and helped her get through it, and the crowd sang along. Last night before the Knicks-Blazers game, they invited her back, and Mo Cheeks was at the game, and they let her redeem herself.
Happy ending to what was a very embarrassing but heartfelt moment.
Cuervo.
She was 13, and Twilight's last gleaming, everything went downhill after that.
Oh, we can get it easily. But it was a moment. I mean, this woman is now 22 years older. I think this was in 2003 when the original anthem fail happened. So she comes out and now she's an adult. The passage of time.
Oh.
Wait, what was Witte?
I mean, let me see where you ended up.
We're not joshing.
I think it also is worth mentioning that Jeremy's fist bump came after the Heat won on a buzzer beater.
You don't want that endorsement, Bear Bear.
This is why Woody jettisoned himself away from us.
Teotihuacan? They were on eBay listed for $1,000. That doesn't mean anyone bought one that I am aware of for $1,000, but there is a market.
Boil them, mash them, stick them in a stew.
I mean, yeah, like, oh, they did it for Max Streuss.
Look at how far we've fallen. This team was in the finals two years ago, and now we're debating what the video board's going to do when Jimmy Butler comes back to town.
Poor Witty. I mean, you guys know what you just did to him, right?
You have him on to celebrate him. He's got this great job. He's internationally famous, world-renowned Chris Whittingham. He did it. And then you just drag him back down. We didn't make him do it. You could have let it slide, Chris.
I mean, we literally just had USC and UCLA play for the Big Ten Championship on Sunday in Indiana. It's incredible. It's absurd.
Well, I have good news for you, Amin. In five years when it only costs $75 million to leave the ACC, there probably will be two differently named conferences that all the teams are in.
Oh, we're not going to do this.
You know who hit the third one, right? Craig Council's son.
I don't think that's why. I don't think that's why they'll lose to Cleveland. They're just not. What?
They'll beat Cleveland?
Oh, OK.
I don't think they'll lose in the playoffs because they play a lot of minutes in the regular season. I think they're just not fully their team yet.
No.
After they made some major moves in the offseason. Which is why enjoy the regular season and the double bangs while you can have them.
Thanks, Mike. Bang!
That was like a ghost. No, that was like a bang.
I don't know you that well.
I would, yes. One more Knicks game is... One too many. No, I've been I've been on the Knicks bandwagon for the last couple of years just because the Bulls are disappointing. So at least it's something. At least it's something in the NBA for me to cheer on. But otherwise, it's been a very toxic, very toxic week in our house.
This West Coast trip is killing me.
You have Aaron Rodgers choosing supposedly between the Giants and the Steelers. Neither of us want him. It's very, very toxic. Every time there's an update, we read it to each other like it's an obituary.
I mean, it's what day is it? Thursday? It's Thursday. And all it's like, we get a weird picture of him on the beach. That one. The Aflac one. The Aflac picture.
No, that's sweet of you. We get a weird picture of him on the beach. Apparently he's like considering retirement again or the Giants or the Steelers. And now Russell Wilson's visiting with the Browns, which tells me that he's not happy and the Steelers aren't happy with that, which we kind of already knew.
Kenny Pickett got traded to the Browns, which is also very funny because it may be the second year in a row that Kenny Pickett's starting job in the NFL gets usurped by Russell Wilson. So that's a storyline to look out for. But Everyone, it's like musical chairs right now. And no one really wants Aaron Rodgers to sit on their chair, at least not for the amount of money that I think he wants.
But you may end up at some point without a quarterback to sit in your chair because there's very few starting quarterbacks left out there.
Yeah, we've been we've been arguing like all week in our house. Like I've been saying, like, well, I mean, if if he goes to the Giants, he doesn't have to move. He can stay in the same house he's been living in and he doesn't have to change his commute. And then Lee's like, yeah, but if he goes to Pittsburgh, he can pass to DK Metcalf.
I'm like, but Malik neighbors and we've just been arguing back and forth. You take him. No, you take him.
It's like every other person down here. You walk into the studio and you're like, Jesus Christ, Dan Levitard is 6'5".
Hang on. Hang on. Jeremy, what is this?
It's a fist pump for the Heat winning the other night?
He feels good about himself after he's done something well. Yeah.
No, he's cheering on the heat because he's Jeremy the Homer. And a fan actually sent this video, JerBear. This was on League Pass.
That's not true. I'm more competitive than you.
Woody now is like, oh, I remember why I hate going on the show.
They are dead.
Well, Mike Green woke me up. With a bang? I watched all of the Thunder Celtics game, which was a great game, which hopefully we will talk about after this. But then, you know, Knicks are on a West Coast road trip. Jalen Brunson's still out. They're going to reevaluate his ankle in a week. So Deuce McBride's been starting at the point.
Man, was it exactly like that. So jarring.
You gotta do a double, though. It was a double bang last night.
It's like strained a little bit. Almost crying.
My heart's fluttering a little bit because like it's a little bit like, you know, I'm in shock still from waking up last night. So this is making me kind of go back into like the flutter zone.
Exactly. I'm like, ah!
Hart's still there, by the way. Thank God. But Gritt's gone. He's in Minnesota now. Dante.
Yeah, she's killing it. All I know is that first dish was absolutely delicious. Yeah. This is all really good.
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You have to try it. I'm going to insult him right to his face.
I'm legitimately so impressed with you guys. I actually can't believe how spot on you. Because I thought, at least from the beginning, all the things you were saying were going to be jokes just to try to get Dan to feel like he couldn't eat. And then every single time you said something, the chefs had these looks on their faces of gigantic surprise.
That goes to Billy.
I thought you were going to criticize Jose.
Yeah. Because you're taking the pictures.
We love you and your accent.
It is. It is. It's so delightful.
Oh, boy. And he's a judge? He's a judge? We struck that from the record.
Deals like judges probably shouldn't be boosters for college football programs. Right? Why? Why? They run the laws?
Yeah. What do you think? That judges just don't have personal lives? I'm just bringing up the point.
Yeah, that's right. That's why we're so surprised by those Supreme Court rulings.
Now this seems like a conflict. That's what we're talking about.
He was getting in all these bar fights. Selective memories.
Why were you going to Cal?
Wow. And I heard that you definitely have no conflict of interest in anything. Always good to have a judge in your pocket. Exactly.
Dan, why did you think it was nachos? And that's why she's the expert, Dan.
I called him Your Honor.
Oh, wow.
You can look at that picture. Come on.
Writing songs.
It's also interesting that food never made its way into the shipping container.
You know that the third picture that exists on Google, if you search my name, is my finger in my mouth from that heat game because of you people?
Yeah, she's right.
This is like the Marlins ballpark. Janine's was excellent, Dan.
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Mina's actually the best example of, like, doing it all well. Like, she can break down things really well, but also just explain it, like, regularly, and it's not like you're like, what the hell is she talking about? Right. So, I mean, good for Mina. It's very rare.
Another good example, though, great vibes. Great vibes. He can explain what's happening on a play, and he's not going to get, like, super bogged down and stuff. And then he also just will say, like, he'll make a weird noise, and it's funny.
He's a legend. I love Tony Romo. They tried to turn me on Tony Romo. Don't let the haters do that. You can't make me hate Tony Romo. I think he's great.
It's just crazy.
If you have a subheader in your wiki page that says, Subsequent ballpark-related lawsuit. Also Rico. Well, also, yes, Rico lawsuit following the sale of the Expo. So that's unrelated to the Marlins, I guess. Do you get to be in that team's Hall of Fame? Just going off wiki header, Dan.
Okay, you may not know about the status of the lawsuit, which was dismissed, but you do obviously know about the ballpark deal, right? Yes.
I made the mistake of making oatmeal today for my granola. It's like an oat on oat with oatmeal crime, I guess. And it takes five to ten minutes to steep in the little cup. So the whole break I was just waiting for it to be ready. And now it's finally ready, but the show's about to start. But if I wait a half hour, it's going to be cold. So I have to eat it. I really don't have a choice.
I found a column that says, it's from the Tampa Bay Times, it says, Greg Cody, colon, Lauria must sell Marlins to elicit cheer. And then in paragraph two it says, you thought the death of Fidel Castro was celebrated down here? The departure of Lauria might run a close second.
It's not the Hall of did a better job.
And I've heard that people really like when I'm eating on air. They like the sound of me chewing while I talk.
But wouldn't you argue that the city's editorial board being very pro a stadium does actually matter in the sort of support of its constituents and readers?
I was just reading a blog post with some of their... As were you.
My granola has a nice little brown sugar maple flavor. So it's very sweet, Dan.
And now we're saying as collective Marlins fans in the room that he did his job, but that is not Hall of Fame worthy.
Right. Regardless of how many people in the neighborhood were negatively impacted by it. Okay.
I like that. There's plenty of blame to go around.
I really... I mean, I was like seven when this happened, and I didn't live in Miami. I'm just trying to make the argument for it doesn't belong in the Hall of Fame.
And to this day, I don't... Okay, but let's stretch this out a little bit. Do you not put any personal blame on any business person or oligarch who gets away with fleecing people out of money just because an elected official gives them the power to do that? I do. Take David Sampson out of the equation completely because we all know him personally. Right, yeah.
That's, I think, sort of a ridiculous stance to take, that you should just expect everyone to be as selfish and greedy as possible. And if people elected to go in power, let them do it. Well, you can't blame them for it.
No, I'm talking about the non-politicians.
Now, if you're running, you know, and Greg, we live in a capitalistic society where money can exert influence over elected officials. It can win people elections. It's like playing out currently in Washington.
I listened to this podcast yesterday on my run, and I thought they did a really good job of explaining what sort of resonates with people listening. Because there are people that are really good at incorporating analytics into their analysis and not just sort of rattling off stats that most people just kind of tune out of because they don't really understand what they're listening to.
But there's like sort of like different schools of thought. And like for me, like I think that, you know, trying to remember that most people are watching the game because they like to watch the plays and they like the players. And it's very like person focused is kind of how I enjoy it and how I think most people enjoy it.
And then if you have like a stat or something cool to back up what you're watching, that seems to be a good way to blend the two. But it's very difficult to do it well, especially to do it on the fly, like when you're watching a game, which is why like, you know, There are certain people that are very, very good at doing that, like the color commentators of the world not named Tom Brady.
And it's a difficult, it's a very difficult job.
There's some of his co-workers, probably.
They also talked on the podcast with Brian Curtis about if sports coverage, especially football, has gotten better or worse. And he was like, well, both. You can find really good stuff in podcasts or written form or on a sub stack or whatever that you couldn't find 20 years ago. It wouldn't be in the newspaper or wouldn't be on the ESPN home site. But you can also find way worse coverage.
You can find the dumbest, most... overly simplified or just bad coverage of a play that's just incorrect and wrong because the access to posting that stuff's gotten a lot easier too so i mean there really is something out there for everyone which you know is maybe good and also bad if you're trying to actually understand what you're watching
Yeah. And even that I'm like, I wonder how much like to even incorporate into like Lucy and I do like a 25 minute college football segment. When I watch games on Saturdays, I'm always looking at game on paper, which is a great website where they break down all of the different like advanced stats for every college football, every FBS college football game that weekend.
And I'll go back and I'll look at what was this team's success rate? How does this team rank here? How does this team rank there? And sometimes it just won't even come up. We don't have time to really talk about all of that. But you could also just look at it and be like, this team, if you watch the game, you might have thought it was not a great offensive performance.
But the stats actually show that it was pretty good. What is an accessible statistic you can use? Is it just something like, how many times did they convert on third down? How many times did they do this or that? You can sort of find easier ways to explain it sometimes. But I even wonder, how many people really care about that sort of thing?
Or do they just want to laugh at, look at this funny blocked punt in this college football game? I think it's just something that everyone has to find the balance to.
Bane was going to make a really inappropriate joke, and he decided not to.
I don't want an apology from you.
We're enemies.
Rivals. Enemies. Rivals.
Not enemies.
I just heard Michael Jordan so many times. I just tuned out after that.
I just think we're doing like this.
He's 29 and we're doing the sports media thing where we're judging his career when it's maybe not even halfway over. I understand we need something to talk about. It was a blowout. The game was not that interesting. It wasn't that fun. After the first quarter, we were all like, yikes. But he's 29. What else can you say other than he's probably got 10-plus years of doing this.
Chances are he's going to be pretty good. I know it's not fun, but that's the truth. It's the truth.
Maybe all the sports commissioners come together and they script the Eagles winning this game so that we have a new debate topic. Do you ever think about that, Dan? This is good for basketball. This is good for football. This is good for everybody. We're having goat debates across sports. Good for business.
That was a cheap shot. It does.
You're right. Bike shorts are bicycle shorts. Yeah.
They're tight. The coaching shorts.
I've never heard of bike shorts.
Let Mally live. He's apparently an Eagles fan. This has been a great week for him, even though he's from New York City and also is a Heat fan.
But big week for him.
I mean, it was obvious what happened in the game, which was the refs made that really bad call on the first drive, the offensive pass interference, and everyone saw, oh, my God, they're going to do this again. They're going to give the Chiefs a Super Bowl. So the call came from New York. Hey, guys, we got to make sure now that the Eagles win this game because everyone's on to us.
We can't let them do it again. I mean, it's very obvious what happened there.
We all know it's rigged, right? Like, that's what happened. Mid-game, they were like, we got to write a new script.
I mean, it's obviously rigged. I've been saying it all season, Dan. This is something I certainly believe in. So thank you, Nick, for really explaining to us why it's not a good thing.
You should try the lasso again, though.
To answer your question, Dan, therapy is very helpful to me in not just giving me coping tools for my anxiety, but also when I do think something in my head, like what if an asteroid hits Earth in eight years? I can then picture my conversation with my therapist and how hard she'd laugh at me for having that thought. And then the thought just sort of passes through and I never think about it again.
Right.
Yeah, although there was one session I had in 2020 where I was telling a different therapist that I have since not continued to see, like, hey, have you heard about this COVID thing in China? And he laughed at me and was like, you don't need to worry about that. And then three weeks later, we were in lockdown for the next year and a half. There you go.
But they're all purebreds. Well, yeah, of course. They're not going to let Willow win the Westminster Dog Show. A mutt's never winning.
And there's all sorts of ethical concerns with breeding purebred animals and health effects.
She's famous. She's on this show.
No, it's Sasha. Still Sasha.
She's my friend.
They'll both be here tomorrow.
The code worked. I was joking. Yeah, Dan, it's the last four digits of his social security number. Of course it worked. I was joking.
I would do maybe Jumpin' Charlie 1440. Maybe add a symbol at the end.
They did have more options than that to start the season.
It seems like there's a button that the defensive coordinator presses that says blitz, and that's all they do during a game is either they hit the button or they don't hit the button.
Maybe there's just a lot of baggage that comes with this loose ship. Speaking of baggage, Greg, is that a Tumi briefcase?
Wait a minute.
That's like a $600 briefcase.
Why can't it be?
2%.
Don't worry, guys. MIT said not to worry about it until 2028, and that's when they'll have a better sense for the actual situation. So we've got time. So we're early.
Don't worry until 2028. What a crazy time. Then you can worry. Or not worry. They literally said not to worry.
They said it's not a dinosaur-killing asteroid, which was 10 kilometers in diameter, but it can do some serious damage. In the unlikely event the asteroid is on a path to hit Earth, they said scientists will be able to predict when and where it will hit, allowing people to be evacuated or even possibly deflecting the asteroid's orbit.
Das ist richtig, es ist Thursday Thunder und es wird von DraftKings gesponsert. Bleibt aufmerksam, denn ihr werdet alles hΓΆren, was DraftKings auf dem Show zu bieten hat. DraftKings, der Krone ist deins. Tony?
I'm gonna be a white guy with David. I think he was implying we're on our way to Vegas. I'm with you. The dice that you guys are talking about is usually on the ground. He's trying to say Vegas there, but he's doing it.
Einmalig fΓΌr dich. Da ist es. Das Upside-Down-Interview wird von Masterclass prΓ€sentiert. Lern von dem Besten, um dein Bestes zu werden.
Es geht hier alles um Talent-Akkumulation in diesem Sport. Er hat seine 8. Superbowl fΓΌnf Jahre ago gewonnen. Alle Jungs, die er jetzt rekrutiert, kennen ihn als den einzigen grΓΆΓten Trainer auf einer groΓen Margin. Er hat keinen Wettbewerbsrekord, ich verstehe das, aber er ist der grΓΆΓte Trainer aller Zeiten. Ich denke nicht, dass es ein Problem werden wird.
Und wie Taylor schon bemerkt hat, sprechen wir von Bill Belichick. Der Typ hat die Superbowl-Praktiken geclipt.
Er hat Nick Saban alles gelernt, was er weiΓ. Er ist verrΓΌckt. Er wird perfekt in diesem schmutzigen Underworld des College-Footballs sein.
Und er ist finanziert. Das einzige Problem ist in diesen Finanzen und ihm zu sein, der die StrΓ€nge zieht und sagt, oh, dieser Typ verdient das, dieser Typ verdient das. Er hat nicht einen tollen Track-Rekord in den letzten 10, vielleicht 15 Jahren, von freien Agenten zu bekommen und ihnen das Geld wert zu machen, das er ihnen bezahlt hat.
I hear that. I keep hearing that, especially from Miami fans. He just has to open up 247 Sports, see how they've ranked the guys, and then he walks into a room, and after he flirts with the player's mom, he'll get them to commit.
Er ist ein Geist, ΓΌbrigens. Ich denke, du bist ein bisschen zu auf das GeschΓ€ft gehalten. Er schafft keine Template. Die Template, die er schafft, ist, seine Freunde zurΓΌckzunehmen. Er schafft nur wieder, was er in der NFL gemacht hat. Diese Template sind in dieser eigenen Konferenz. Er ist schon lange da. Miami hatte einen GM mit NFL-Personal-Erfahrung und Alonzo Highsmith.
Miami war gut finanziert. Das wird eine groΓe Herausforderung fΓΌr North Carolina sein. Kann Bill Belichick ihre Boosters engagieren?
FΓΌr mich ist es seine FΓ€higkeit, in einem Raum zu gehen und etwas zu sagen, was niemand anderes in Sport kann. Ich bin der GrΓΆΓte, der Talent entwickelt und dich gewinnt. Ich habe all diese Beziehungen in der NFL. Und guck, Alabama hat 15 Jahre gespielt. Wir kΓΆnnen dich in die NFL bringen. Ohio State verkauft das den Receivers.
Wir haben hier ein Tried and True Programm, das Spieler in die NFL entwickelt. Das ist, was er verkauft. Und... Es kΓΆnnte ein paar Jahre dauern, bevor du all das Luft aus dem Ball nehmen kannst, aber es ist ein solides Ball, das von der grΓΆΓten Mannschaft aller Zeiten kommt.
Ich schaue nicht nach dem GeschΓ€ft, ich schaue nach seiner FΓ€higkeit zu coachen und seine FΓ€higkeit, in ein Zimmer zu gehen und einen Eindruck zu haben, den niemand anderes kann.
Ja, ja, aber in Bezug darauf, dass sie viel mehr in Alabama bezahlt wurden, als ΓΌberall anders.
I'm so happy for her success, but I think I was also named to Netflix's NFL coverage. Sie haben zwei Spiele und es sind 130 Leute auf einer Grafik.
I'm not diminishing it either. It's just a lot of people.
Das war's fΓΌr heute. Bis zum nΓ€chsten Mal. TschΓΌss. 300 Bucks in Bonusbets. If your bet wins when you bet just 5 bucks only on DraftKings, the crown is yours.
Ich verstehe deine Fragen. Ich habe sie auch, aber ich werde zu sagen, dass das ein Pitch ist, den kein 18-JΓ€hriger je bekommen hat, sicher in unseren Leben. Aber wie hart glaubst du, dass er ΓΌber die letzten paar Tage lacht, wenn er weiΓ, dass Rhett Lashley gerade in diese Konferenz gestrollt ist und es in seinem ersten Jahr in Charlotte gemacht hat?
Als ich die Grafik sah, dachte ich, dass es eine Forbes-Liste war, weil so viele Leute drauf waren. Und dann sah ich das Netflix-Logo und dachte mir, warte mal, das ist fΓΌr zwei Spiele?
I don't feel good about it as a Miami fan. Look, that program had my program's number and that was when they had Mack Brown there. Now they have the greatest head coach of all time. You can have your opinions. This is a major hire for UNC. This is a program that was, that's a basketball school, an afterthought. This is a Huge hire for the ACC and for North Carolina.
Jemand, der nicht der grΓΆΓte Trainer ist. 70 Millionen Dollar. Ich bin eher Angst vor dem Geld.
Wenn sie 70 Millionen Dollar in Talent-Akquisition haben, wenn der hohe Endpunkt in diesem Sport 25 ist, ja, das wΓ€re wirklich furchtbar.
All jokes aside, I think that North Carolina made a huge hire. And yes, I'm more nervous about this, because this to me seems like a pretty obvious improvement over what they had. And you can have your questions. It sounds like this program is going to take a beat. What if he gets to practice and he realizes, damn, this entire roster is not up to snuff. That's going to take time.
Even the greatest... Es braucht ein bisschen, um ihre Programme in Ordnung zu bekommen. Wenn du ΓΌber einen 73-JΓ€hrigen sprichst, wie viel Zeit haben wir da zu sprechen? Das sind alle valide Fragen. Aber ich habe auch die Coachings in dieser Konferenz gesehen und ich habe seine Karriere gesehen. Ich denke, er wird in einem Ein-Spiel-Sammel in Ordnung sein.
Nun, es gibt ziemlich schwierige Regeln, wenn es um das in Springfield geht.
You were right.
Particularly the last two seasons.
Good news is, Dan, not only are we bad in college basketball, but according to Ken Palm, we're the unluckiest team of all time.
Yes, yeah, that too, but also very unlucky.
You're the only person making him a dirty old hobo.
Und das ist, wo wir gerade sind. Die letzten paar Saison in New England waren nicht groΓartig. Die Leute waren nicht zufrieden mit dem, was er gemacht hat. Und jetzt ziehst du all das auf die Profis und ziehst es dann nach der Schule. Wird das dann einfach dort repliziert werden? Er ist ungefΓ€hr drei Jahre Γ€lter als Greg Cody.
Er muss kΓΆnnen, um bessere Talent zu bekommen. I'm worried as all hell, because right now Miami is looking at the transfer portal, looking at the names that might possibly jump in there. And you felt pretty good about your chances, and Bill Belichick saunters into a room. You feel a little bit worse about your chances. This is a grim reality.
This is main show, bright lights.
Ich denke, wir haben eine ziemlich gute Idee, wie dieses Entourage aussieht. Es wird Patricia sein, es wird sein Sohn sein, es wird Lombardi sein, es wird... Josh McDaniel. Harbaugh hatte viel Erfolg daran.
He kicked Adam Schefter's ass.
We've mentioned it for years when talking about this program. North Carolina Tar Heels, when it comes to football, this is a sleeping giant. All their resources mostly diverted to basketball, but if they ever engage that alumni base, if they ever tap into the revenue, because I've told you, this school is more well positioned than anyone else inside the ACC to be an attraction.
Interactive Commodity for another major conference.
Ich meine, wenn man sich nur ΓΌber die offenen Accounts denkt, die er engagieren kann. Es gab Frustrationen um Chapel Hill, dass Michael Jordan nicht genug an den Basketballprogramm gibt. und seine ganze AttitΓΌt ist, ich gebe dir deine Uniformen, ich gebe dir den Jumpman, ich bin der GrΓΆΓte aller Zeiten. Aber er kann sicherlich mehr engagiert sein.
Ich denke, seine Erfahrung in NASCAR zeigt dir, was du bekommst, wenn du einen engagierten Michael Jordan bekommst. Er hat Coach Lawrence Taylor. Lawrence Taylor hat ein bisschen Geld. Ich denke, dass er absolut mehr von diesen Boosters bekommen kann. Hell, Dan, dieser Move wurde aus Boosters, die mehr als jemals geben. Schau dir die letzten HΓΆrer an. Ist das normal fΓΌr dich?
Rich Rodriguez geht zurΓΌck nach West-Virginia, Dan Mullen geht nach UNLV, Bill Belichick geht nach North Carolina. Das ist alles aus Boosters, die mehr geben, als sie jemals hatten. Und die Behandlung ist hΓΆher, als es jemals war. Und die Leute werden bescheuert.
Hast du Rant gesagt?
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One guy comes up to you at Flanagan's and you make your whole mind up. Dork, by the way. And then, by the way, ten days later, Taylor's the biggest insider in the sport.
This is one of the biggest scoops of all time. And I think as a reward, we should also, look, you're giving your own company a reward there. You want to tout the success of others like Mina. Taylor's right there. He's a star that is ascending. You should give him some mic time.
He's a megastar, give it to him again!
The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo.com. Please drink responsibly. Cuervo.
Stop saying walk-on. That sounds like a slur. Where were you a walk-on at? Nowhere. The Sizzler.
Oh, erinnere ich mich an Gruden zu der U. Wir kapitalisieren die U in Gruden. Mit Jake Gruden als Zusammensetzung.
Ja, ich denke, er kommt in das, was die Leute glauben, ΓΌber Bill Belichick und sein Rekord ohne Tom Brady. Ich wΓΌrde sagen, dass sie das Level des Coachings in diesem Sport wissen, dass sie in den meisten Spielen mit einem zentralen, taktischen Vorteil mit Bill Belichick da sind. Und ich denke, dass viele Leute seine FΓ€higkeit, Talent zu rekrutieren, nicht glauben.
They would love to see you do it. Oh, at Casa Tiki? I thought you were asking if he was going to go to the actual card over here.
Although he did hit a big three before and it was kind of like a feeling thing. Who cares? None of these games mean anything.
No, I don't have that channel. I don't even remember where I was.
Although, I am encouraged on two fronts. First front, I've heard that they've stopped playing Terry Rozier, so golf clap to them. Also, they got a dude nicknamed Slow Mo playing a lot, so I might be back.
Great job mentioning this game. Jimmy Butler went like five or eight from the floor and scored 28 points.
That should drive any Heat fan crazy, but you'll be happy to know that Harrison Barnes drilled a buzzer beater right over his ass in a must-win game.
Reformed. Reformed Celtics fan.
He also revealed himself as the only person to have watched the Wilt game.
Makes me feel so Oscar. I am 39 years old. I've never heard that word. Guys, asco. It means disgust in Spanish.
Oh, okay. But, oh, I thought he meant, I thought it was in English. No, asco. Like, there wasn't a flair on it. I thought he was, like, talking about an old UConn center. Yeah.
You were in my house last night. That's why.
Well, you never know. Dan's well-learned.
If you think the conversation around the transfer portal is bad in sports, if most people in media actually knew how transient women's college basketball has become, the team that I fell in love with, the University of Miami Hurricanes women's basketball team, is totally different from two years ago. There isn't a single holdover.
there miami's men's basketball team totally new team next year juju while i have you i i know you're part of your job here is that you scan the internet there was something that popped up on my feed that left my mouth agape because you and i were we're in similar ages and we grew up listening to sean paul and anytime sean paul comes up anybody at a bar just goes sean de paul it's it's you know someone goes again sean de paul did you know that he's not actually saying sean de paul
Crank that video. How did they become Shonda Paul?
Now, I checked the date on this to make sure I wasn't getting April fooled. It was in March. And I reached out to the person that did this video, Dan Zabs, courtesy of Dan Zabs. And I'm like, are you fooling me here? Is this real? He's like, it's legit. He's not saying Shonda Paul. He's saying a cricket player by the name of Shander Paul.
But you might not have been at their house.
Do you guys remember where you were when LeBron won in 2016?
I don't think I do.
It was the week of Super Bowl week in Miami. So I remember I was on a flight to Miami with Charlotte, and we were sitting next to each other, and I was like, whoa.
How old were you when that happened?
How did you get Mike's support but completely lost mine in the span of this list, Tony?
When Nate Smith invented the rules of basketball. No, not quite that old.
You couldn't have watched it on TV if it wasn't... According to the Library of Congress, the amazing performance wasn't televised and there's no videotape of the game. Only a Philadelphia radio station broadcast it.
Do you remember the John Hinckley shooting Ronald Reagan game?
He drove all the way here.
How have we reached a point in media where like, 60 years ago, Wilt Chamberlain has his famous basketball game not on TV. But now in 2025, Greg Cody talking about the state of the toilet bowl is something that's televised.
It's called Eat More Fiber.
It's called Try Probiotics.
They get NIL now.
Thank you.
Cuervo.
Washington's funeral.
Let's narrow the list. Let's say of all of the moments of this NBA season, and we'll include future games that haven't been played yet, crazy things that could happen in the playoffs, we will remember this game, right, Tony?
I guess you do remember where you were. You were in your bed.
The baby was crying.
You've told us you're not a fan. It's not for you. This list is not for you.
And Tony, I'm trying to help you because I agree.
You probably won't remember this in 10 years where you were, but of this season, you'll remember it.
I mean, I am quite literally a ball watcher, Dan. Guilty.
No, you're right. wrong. Nothing sinister happening. I'm trying to help Tony out because in a room full of people that admit they do not watch the sport and they are not fans of it, they're trying to undercut something that was a meaningful moment for basketball fans.
Because he was just playing Greg Cody the whole time.
Ron, to change the subject, because I don't want to keep pissing you off like Dan is trying to do, although maybe this will piss you off, I'm not sure, there was a big story that... The dire wolf, is that what you're going to talk about? Yes, it is exactly what I was going to ask you about.
So please clarify what these scientists actually did, because I read the story, and it sounds like they used dire wolf genes to breed gray wolves, so they're not technically unextincting the animals, but that was sort of what the headline said, so please explain this.
well i was right i knew this was going to piss you off um i did see that they were like you said in a secret location so is the point to breed them to say they're unextincted uh unextinct or whatever it is inextinct i guess um but then they're just keeping them in captivity because obviously you can't introduce these wolves to the wild right so ethically that's very dubious i would assume
Here's the pitch. A two-part baseball segment combining a nostalgic baseball trivia game and an interview with an expert. This is the Pitch Clock. Der Pitch Clock ist zurΓΌck. Wir haben unseren eigenen offiziellen Bit. Da ist er. Schau dir das an. Es sind Chris Cody, Jeremy TachΓ©, Taylor Vipulis. Taylor wird unsere Trivia in einem Sekunden haben.
Ich mΓΆchte nur bemerken, dass ich gerade einen Schuh trage, der sagt, dass Therapie cool ist. Und obwohl ich weiΓ, dass ich fΓΌr die meisten unserer Publikationen nicht der Barometer fΓΌr was cool ist, bin ich nicht der Barometer fΓΌr was cool ist. Going to therapy is cool. Get yourself some help if you need it.
And even if you don't think you do, going to therapy, going to a few sessions, a really good thing for anyone. It's Mental Health Awareness Month here in May. Just wanted to get that out there. Our mental health is about to suffer because we're playing a trivia game. We'll get to our 2025 MLB expert in just a second. But Taylor, what is our trivia game for today?
Alright, I'll go with Jimmy Rollins.
Alright, well, if he's the first Philly... Dann mΓΆchte ich beten, dass Chase Utley der zweite Philly ist. Das ist ein Betten, den du verlieren wirst. Und das wird dein erster Streit sein. Wow, erster Streit fΓΌr Jeremy. Kein Chase Utley auf dieser Liste. 2007 ist ein bisschen frΓΌh fΓΌr ihn, oder?
Weil ich weiΓ, dass er auf der 09-Championschaftsteam ist, aber es kΓΆnnte ein bisschen vor dem Peak seiner Macht gewesen sein. Ich nehme... Juan Pierre. Juan Pierre, not on the list. Yeah, by that point. 2007's late. I know you're thinking he's one of the Marlins, but I don't think so. He was gone, I think... No, I know, but what team was he on? I don't know. By 2007, is he a Cub, maybe?
I'm gonna go ahead. So, those Marlins are coming to me. Obviously, like, the Yankees are sitting there, feeling like a relatively obvious one. I'm gonna go ahead. I'm gonna do... There are four Detroit Tigers on this list. So... Ooh, but by this point, is he there? Uh-oh. Yeah. Is this your one?
Oh, was fΓΌr ein dummer Kerl. Was fΓΌr ein dummer Kerl bin ich. Du spielst die Marlins. Ich spiele sie. Aber du spielst viel mehr. AuΓer dem. Du trΓ€gst den Hoodie fΓΌr El Extra Base. Also mach mir einen Vorschlag. ErzΓ€hl den Leuten in etwa 20 Sekunden, innerhalb eines Pitch Clock, ΓΌber El Extra Base.
Yeah, that's exactly what you've been doing it. You do it in English and in Spanish. The coverage is unbelievable. For those of you who want to go find it, go find it. But Danny, you are Venezuelan yourself. And so I wanted to focus on some Venezuelan ball players with you. And here's how I want to do it. No one knows Venezuelan baseball better than you. I want to hear your take on the ballplay.
best venezuelan baseball player the most underrated venezuelan baseball player and give us a guy to watch that maybe people aren't talking about yet that is going to be the next up and coming venezuelan star
Oh mein Gott. Banger.
Wer ist also am unterwertetsten?
Wer ist der nΓ€chste venezuelische Superstar, den wir noch nicht gesprochen haben? Moises Ballesteros. Okay, ich habe ihn noch nicht gehΓΆrt.
Das ist gute Nachrichten fΓΌr die Cubs-Fans, auch Ethan. Ich wusste, dass Ethan das mag. Ja, er wird froh darΓΌber sein. Aber auch Ethan, das ist gute Nachrichten fΓΌr sie, weil ihre Line-Up schon ziemlich sΓΌΓ ist. Lass uns zu unserer zweiten Frage kommen. Du bist natΓΌrlich hier in Miami. Die nicht-Oakland-Athletics kamen in die Stadt. Die West-Saxon-Athletics.
Die Sacramento Athletics of future Vegas came to town. It's very strange. But they were here. And they're really one of the surprise stories in Major League Baseball right now. At the time of this recording, they're four games over 500. You got to see them up close and personal. Do you believe that this hot start is sustainable?
Die RealitΓ€t ist, dass die Bedeutung in der National League jetzt viel hΓΆher ist als in ihrer eigenen Division. Die AL West ist eine ziemlich schwere Division, zumindest im Laufe eines Monats der Saison. Und deshalb gibt es ihnen so viel mehr die MΓΆglichkeit, da zu sein.
Okay, jetzt fΓΌhle ich mich verrΓΌckt. Okay, der Seattle Mariner, Ichiro Suzuki. Ichiro ist auf der Liste. Danke Gott. Gut gemacht, Chris. Ich gehe mit meinem alten Faithful. Ich glaube, dieser Typ in dieser Zeit hat es gut gemacht fΓΌr mich in diesen Spielen. Todd Helton.
Wow. Herrgott. MΓΆchten wir es zu einem Vierer-Pitch-Spiel erweitern? KΓΆnnen wir sagen, dass wir alle einen ausgewΓ€hlt haben? KΓΆnnen wir das Vierer-Pitch-Spiel machen? So, dass das nicht der grΓΆΓte Vierer-Pitch-Spiel ist. Der FΓΌhrer schieΓt Chris' dritten Schuss. Oh, er hat es geschafft. Er hat es geschafft. Okay, aber lass uns es einfach deutlich machen.
Ich werde auch einen dritten Schuss bekommen, wenn das passiert. Wir werden sehen, wie lange es dauert, bis er da ist. Okay, okay.
Es ist, als ob wir Taylor verfehlen. Ja, okay. Einer der Marlins ist Hanley Ramirez. Hanley ist dritter auf dieser Liste. Okay. Ich habe Jose Reyes gesagt. Ich meine, es gibt einen Met, der mir kommt. David Wright. David Wright ist korrekt. Wow. Er ist dritter auf dieser Liste. GroΓartig. Okay, lasst uns noch mal auf diese Liste schauen. Wie ist Jeter nicht auf dieser Liste?
Es gibt nur einen Namen, der sich als Tiger in dieser Γra erinnert, und das ist random. Das randommeste Tiger-Name, das mir in den Kopf kommt. Dann werde ich nachdenken, dass der Boston Red Sox Dustin Pedroia ist. Es ist nicht Dustin Pedroia. Ich weiΓ nicht, wer es ist. Ja! Am I really about to say this name? I can't believe it. This is 2007. This should be the prime for both of us. I know.
This is a tough one for me. I've got a couple names that are coming to mind.
Yeah, name tigers. But I thought I did. I thought I did name a tiger. Es sind zwei andere Tiger, die ich mir vorstellen kann, aber sie sind random. Es hat letzte Woche angefangen. Wir haben angefangen, das Konzept zu bezeichnen, dass das Γ€hnlich ist wie SNL in den letzten Atenen, die goldenen Γra in der Major League Baseball. Schaut den Quaid Army auf dem Lonely Island Podcast an.
Ich werde das gerade da machen. Aber ich mΓΆchte mit deiner NL-Expertise hinkommen, als wir die Stars hier beobachten. Ich werde dich zwischen zwei Jungs wΓ€hlen, die gute Starts in ihrer Saison hatten. Also, da ist Pete Alonso, der nur einen verrΓΌckten Start hatte. Ich glaube, er leitet die National League in OPS an der Zeit dieser Konversation.
Er ist verrΓΌckt gewesen, nach einem seltsamen Kontrakt im Offseason. Er ist zurΓΌck mit den Mets, um das zu tun. Dann gibt es die Nationals, James Wood. Und er hat wirklich bemerkt, dass er ein groΓer Batsch in dieser Liga sein wird, ein junger Kerl. Welche von diesen beiden Stars mΓΆchtest du hier bemerken?
Diese Frage kommt von Ethan. Wir haben Taylor eine MΓΆglichkeit gefragt, sie vor ein paar Wochen zu fragen. Er als Marlins-Fan mΓΆchte wissen, durch deine Expertise, deine Meinung, ist da jemand auf dem Roster, den du jetzt schaust, den du als einen legitimen Teil ihres zukΓΌnftigen KΓΆrpers siehst, sobald dieses Build weitergeht?
It is exciting to know that there are a couple of guys there you can go for. A couple of blonde guys, how about that, here in Miami. You can go with Agustin. Obviously Agustin Ramirez is a guy that we're all very aware of. I shouted him out here on the pitch clock last week, but his power is insane. Everybody go follow LXTrabase on Twitter, on Instagram. Tiger.
Das wird der rare vierte Streik. Der rare vierte Streik. Der Umpire verpasst den Streik auf Streik 3. Das ist der rare vierte Streik auf Chris Cody. Okay, also ich werde versuchen, einige dieser Jungs zu nennen. Wollen wir beide verlieren? Nein, ich habe gewonnen. Ich habe gewonnen, es ist vorbei. Ich meine, komm schon, ich habe dominiert. Dominante Performance von mir.
War es Billy Hamilton, der rote? Nein. Nein. Ich glaube, dass Maglio Ordonez einer dieser Tiger ist. Der zweite Tiger. Ist es eine Welt, in der Victor Martinez einer dieser Tiger ist? Victor Martinez war es nicht. Ist Jacoby Ellsbury der Red Sox? Jacoby Ellsbury ist nicht der Red Sox. Wer ist denn der Red Sox? Manny oder so? Es kann nicht sein.
Es ist nicht Manny. Johnny Damon?
Ich habe nur nicht erwartet, dass er so viele Runden erzielt. Er ist auf der Basis genug, um so viele Runden zu erzielen. Gabe wusste es, danke, dass du mir das gesagt hast. Ja, Gabe feiert in der anderen Runde.
Alex Rios macht mich glΓΌcklich. Alex Rios, ich hΓ€tte Vernon Wells gewusst, also bin ich froh, dass ich es nicht gemacht habe.
Ich dachte an Omar Infante. Und der letzte Philly, den wir gesagt haben, war wer? Aaron Rowan. Aaron Rowan.
Ich hoffe, das ist der Name, den jeder erinnert. Chris Cody verloren in der Weise, wie Aaron Rowan seinen Gesicht zerbrochen hat.
Ich glaube, wir verlieren ein paar WΓΆrter in der Annunziation.
Little worker angels.
Von deiner Mutter, richtig?
Pitch clock, pitch count, as long as you support, it's fine. Call me whatever you want.
Yeah. All the Whiteys. All these baseball names make me want to go to a baseball game. And if I want to go to a baseball game, the Dodgers were in town this week. Great ticket. Game time is where you go for the best deals. You download the Game Time app, create an account, use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Download Game Time today. Last minute tickets.
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Guys, I want to talk to you about something that I don't think we think about enough on a daily basis. And that's comfort, specifically when it comes to underwear. Because let's be real, when it's not right, you're going to feel it all day. And that's why I want to tell all of you about Tommy John.
Because the first time I put on a pair, I knew my underwear drawer would just simply never be the same. Tommy John hat vor kurzem einige ihrer Produkte an uns in den Schiffskontainern gesendet. Und das ist mein erstes Mal, dass ich Tommy John Unterhaut trage. Ich war wirklich ΓΌberrascht. Durch den Komfort, durch die Strecke, die im Design vorhanden war, durch die Texture.
Es gibt eine echte Komfort. Und ich kann sagen, dass sie den Eindruck gelegt haben, um sicherzustellen, speziell in unserem Fall mit MΓ€nnern, dass wir sich komfortabel fΓΌhlen wΓΌrden. Ehrlich gesagt, hat Tommy John das Spiel fΓΌr mich verΓ€ndert. Ich weiΓ, es wird ein guter Tag sein, wenn ich aus der TΓΌr gehe und Tommy John aufhΓΆren werde. No distractions, no adjusting, just all day confidence.
If you haven't tried Tommy John yet, I personally think you're missing out. These are the MVP of your underwear drawer with up to four times more stretch than other brands. Something I definitely appreciate. Double down on comfort with Tommy John and get 25% off your first order right now at TommyJohn.com slash Dan with promo code Dan. Save 25% at TommyJohn.com slash Dan.
Hey Freunde, es ist Jarabear hier und ich bin hier, um euch alles ΓΌber Boost Mobile zu erzΓ€hlen, was jetzt eine legitische, nationale 5G-Netzwerk ist.
Ich denke, dass dieser Mann der grΓΆΓte Held ist, als jeder, der im Marathon rennt. Das ist der Mann, der einen Brunnen benutzt, um Leute wegzumachen.
Unregisterte Rennfahrer weg von der Strecke. Er ist einfach in der Mitte der StraΓe. Ich weiΓ nicht, wie er sie von einem Meilen weg spotzt. Und er ist so, get out of here. Und sie sind so, nein, ich werde weitergehen. Er ist so, nein.
I think, David, though, to go back for a second, it's not that I don't think that the people that are cheering on the marathon runners are incredible and they're showing support and it would be incredible to run in one of these races. It's just that I don't want to ever be doing that for my boyfriend. Yeah.
Das ist wunderschΓΆn. Lucy, wie fΓΌhlen wir uns nach den ersten Rankingen?
Yeah, that's true. I'm feeling the same way. And I'm also feeling the cheesiest this season with Cheez-It. So we're going to talk a little bit about the college football playoff rankings that came out on Tuesday. And then we're going to talk about a couple great rivalry performances from Week 10. And of course, do our preview for Week 11. I can't believe we're already going into Week 11.
It just blows my mind how fast the season goes by, Lucy. But what was your main issue, takeaway, like thought after seeing these playoff rankings?
They just make shit up. Das war's. I think things will change, obviously, as more games get played. Alabama and LSU still play this weekend. So it's going to change very quickly. But I'm with you on Indiana. So I wanted to bring up Ward Manuel's comments about Indiana and Penn State. Die Frage war, weshalb Penn State vor Tennessee und BYU war, Lucy.
Letzte Woche sahen wir Penn State und Ohio State einander spielen. Ohio State hat gewonnen und Ward Manuel sagte, Penn State hat gegen die Nummer zwei Ohio State Buckeyes gewonnen. Es war ein Spiel, das zurΓΌck und zurΓΌck ging und natΓΌrlich ein Spiel, das die andere Richtung gehen konnte. Es war zurΓΌck und zurΓΌck. Ist das wahr oder falsch? Glaubst du an diese Statement?
Like, what are we talking about? He also said, they also have wins over Illinois and Southern Cal in overtime, an opening win at West Virginia, which is difficult to play, so we looked at their body of work. Okay, close wins against USC, those are losses.
Right. And that also, well, I'll keep moving. Because we could pick through this, I think, very easily. But yes, like... USC hat dieses Jahr wirklich auf dem Berg gefallen. Sie haben dieses Wochenende den Verteidigungsvorschlag gewonnen. Sie gehen weiter nach einer schrecklichen Leistung. Das nΓ€chste, was er gesagt hat, war, dass Tennessee einen beeindruckenden Sieg gegen Alabama hat.
Das ist wahr. Und sie gewinnt gegen North Carolina State in Oklahoma. Oklahoma, okay. They're 4-1 against teams above 500. The loss at Arkansas was something we discussed a lot. So looking at the resume, looking at what we've seen, the offensive performance, they're tight on Tyler Warren. This is back to Penn State now. It's a dominating force on offense.
I think Penn State in terms of their body of work and what the committee saw in terms of their body of work came to the ranking at 6 and Tennessee at 7. Okay. So this is like the reasoning. And when you get into the nitty gritty, Lucy, that is also my reaction. I'm just like, okay. All right. I think BYU should be higher. They're undefeated. I think Indiana should be higher. They're undefeated.
If they lose, they'll go back down. There's still a month left of football.
I mean, Michigan. Put Michigan up there, too.
There's a lot of good tight ends. We're making good tight ends this year. Yeah. It's just... It's an interesting process, one that we were going to obviously keep an eye on, because while I like that we get to see the College Football Playoff Committee's thought process and reasoning starting this week, there's always some baffling things that happen in the first ranking, like Missouri at 24.
What are we doing?
Nein. Okay, also wir haben ΓΌber die unverfehlten Power-Konferenzschulen gesprochen. Gibt es irgendwelche Γberraschungen, wenn man Boise auf Nummer 12 sieht?
Ja, SMU kommt in der 13. Ich denke, es ist wieder so, weil man BYU bis 9 gesehen hat. SMU hat nur die Verletzungen gegen BYU. Das bringt sie in diese Position. Clemson ist bis 23, nach dem Verlust gegen Louisville. Louisville ist jetzt in den Top 25. Miami hilft wirklich Miami, weil sie Louisville vor der Saison gewonnen haben.
Es hilft auch Notre Dame, weil sie vor der Saison Louisville gewonnen haben. Iowa State. Brutale Verletzung letzten Wochenende, Lucy. Sie sind 17. Do you see a world in which the loser of the Big 12 or the ACC makes the playoff if it is one of the undefeated teams losing to a one-loss team?
Nun, lasst uns vielleicht zu unseren Rivalien von Week 10 gehen, Lucy, ohne dass du noch andere Gedanken ΓΌber das Spiel haben mΓΆchtest.
Ich weiΓ es nicht. Oh ja, das war eine groΓe Billy-Gill-Sache mit der NFL. Aber ja, wir werden ein bisschen darΓΌber sprechen, was letztes Wochenende passiert ist. Das ist ein Krossover-Thema. Vandy gegen das College Football Playoff Committee, Lucy. Vanderbilt war das einzige Team, das in der AP-Polle dieses Wochenende gewΓ€hlt wurde, aber nicht in der College Football Playoff Top 25 war.
Was zur HΓΆlle, Mann?
Sie sagten das auch ΓΌber Texas. Sie sagten, Texas hat Vanderbilt auf der StraΓe gewonnen. Ich war so, dann woher haben sie das gewonnen? Aber Vanderbilt kommt natΓΌrlich aus einem groΓen Sieg ΓΌber Auburn dieses letzte Wochenende, welches eine groΓe RivalitΓ€t von Week 10 ist. Diego Pavia gegen Hugh Freeze. Lucy, was geht da los? Ich weiΓ nicht, ob man es eine RivalitΓ€t nennen kann.
Ja, ich stimme dir zu. Wir mΓΌssen Vanderbilt respektieren. Die Leute denken, Cal ist nur sechs Punkte entfernt von der Unbefehltheit. Aber was ist mit Vanderbilt? Sie haben ihre Spiele durch ziemlich kleine Grenzen verloren. Also sollten sie, ich meine nicht, dass Cal auch gewΓ€hlt wird, weil sie es nicht sein sollten. Sie haben Florida State verloren. Aber trotzdem, ich verabschiede mich.
Es gab ein bisschen Frosty Handshake, vielleicht eine rΓΌttelnde SΓΌdflorida-RivalitΓ€t diese letzte Woche. Es war eines der tΓ€glichen Spiele. Ich glaube, es war am Freitagabend. Es kΓΆnnte am Dienstagabend gewesen sein. Ich kann mich gar nicht erinnern. Alle Tage verbinden sich gerade zusammen.
Aber Alex Golish und Tom Herman mit einem eisen-frostigen No-Handshake-Ding nachdem USF und FAU gespielt haben. Lucy, was?
Ich habe auch gehΓΆrt, dass Tom Herman oder einer seiner Mitarbeiter einen komischen Kommentar ΓΌber die USF in der Off-Saison gemacht hat, den ich nicht gefunden habe. Aber wie du gesagt hast, gab es einen groΓen Moment, in dem man gesagt hat, ich mΓΆchte deine Hand schΓΌtteln. Das war sehr lustig.
Apparently he said, we don't like them and I hope they don't like us. Seems like there's more to it. Yeah, the way I read it was like...
Alles ist groΓartig. Nun, wir haben schon ein bisschen ΓΌber Penn State und Ohio State gesprochen. Da gab es noch ein weiteres Wettbewerb. Das hat sich seit ein paar Jahren weiterentwickelt. Penn State Fans gegen James Franklin. Nun, ich weiΓ, dass es viele Penn State Fans gibt, die sagen,
Du weiΓt, James Franklin hat tolle Dinge zu diesem Programm gemacht und wir sind tatsΓ€chlich in einem wirklich guten Spot, auch wenn wir beinahe nie Ohio State gewinnen kΓΆnnen. Das ist der richtige Trainer fΓΌr uns. Er hat gute Dinge gemacht hier. Es gibt auch viele Penn State Fans, die James Franklin nach dem Ohio State Spiel hekelten. Lucy, brech das fΓΌr uns.
Es war nicht ein guter Moment.
Und so haben wir College-Football-Fans. Und ich bin es ehrlich gesagt, ich bin satt davon. Ich beurteile Penn State, Ohio State, bis Penn State die Serie gewinnt. Ich bin davon ΓΌberrascht. Eine andere oder zwei andere, zwei andere schΓΆne kleine Rivalen-Momente dieses Wochenende, Lucy.
Shane Beamer gegen einen randomen SEC-Team in den Top 10 an einem randomen Abend, an einem randomen Saison im FuΓball. Wie hΓ€lt er das immer aus?
Ich weiΓ, es sah cool aus.
Ja, die Defense hat Texas A&M ausgespielt und Texas A&M konnte South Carolina nicht stoppen. Das war eine sehr lustige Frage. Bevor wir in der Woche 11 losgehen, Lucy, willst du ΓΌber Pitt und die Iowa State Fans vs. die AP-Polle reden? Mike Norvell vs. 2024 oder Clemson Fans vs. andere Clemson Fans?
And then they lost. Yep. I saw a lot of Pitt and Iowa State fans last week when they were both undefeated, really mad at the AP poll voters and then both proceeded to lose, which then, I mean, it goes to show you, Lucy. Auch wenn man auf dem Rang ist, auch wenn man unverfehlbar ist. Es ist schwer, unverfehlbar zu sein in einer FuΓball-Saison. Es ist schwer, Spiele zu gewinnen.
Und jetzt sind wir im November, wo es immer schwieriger wird. Es wird Wetter im Spiel geben. Schmerzen werden fΓΌr viele dieser Teams aufhΓΆren. Und ich denke, es wird etwas unvergleichbarer werden in dieser letzten Strecke. Besonders, wenn wir sehen, dass die Teams ihren Weg aus dem FuΓball-Playoff auswΓ€hlen, was dieses Wochenende mit Nr. 11 Alabama bei Nr. 14 LSU passieren kΓΆnnte.
Das erste Spiel, das wir vorlesen werden, Lucy. Are you going to this game?
She says no.
Yes, you're 100% right. They have the spicy ones too. I love the spicy ones. Those are the best.
No, you are. I think we've said that in every episode. They're the best. They're the best.
well lsu is coming off a buy we're gonna find out if they were able to fix their qb run game alabama i mean both teams really have to win this game right like alabama has to win it to stay where they're at at number 11 in the college football playoff rankings lsu lost usc earlier in the season they lost to texas a m in a in a very dramatic not because it was close but dramatic and it was in that it was shocking fashion last two weeks ago so um stakes are at an all-time high for this one it kind of feels like 2022 and
Alabama hatte Tennessee verloren und kam in einen Todesfall und Brian Kelly hat Nick Saban endlich gewonnen. Aber jetzt Brian Kelly gegen Kaelin DeBoer, LSU und Garrett Nussmeier gegen Jalen Milrow, unsere unabhΓ€ngige September-Heisman-Finalistin, Γ€h, eigentlich unsere unabhΓ€ngige September-Heisman-Championin.
Lucy, ich wΓ€hle Alabama, um dieses Spiel zu gewinnen, aber ich fΓΌhle mich nicht gut darΓΌber.
Du hast recht, Lucy. Ich gehe gegen den Grain hier, wΓ€hle gegen die LSU-Nightgames, die ich vor ein paar Wochen gesagt habe, als sie Ole Miss gespielt haben. Ich wollte es nie machen, aber ich habe es einfach gemacht. Also wΓ€hle ich Alabama. Ein weiteres groΓes SEC-Spiel, Georgia bei Ole Miss. Carson Beck, was ist mit Carson Beck? Er schieΓt Picks nach links, er schieΓt Picks nach rechts.
Er ist ein Turnover-Maschine right now. Und Ole Miss Defense, they're pretty good against the pass, Lucy. I don't feel very good about Carson Beck not turning the ball over right now.
Ich stimme mit dir. Ich wΓ€hle Georgia. Ich weiΓ nicht warum. Ich mache den alten Eintest, weil ich glaube, Georgia, wenn man sich die advanced Stats anschaut und so, sie kΓΆnnten ziemlich einig sein. Aber ich glaube, dass Georgias Defense in diesem Spiel einfach ausfallen wird und es sehr schwierig wird,
Ole Miss hat einen Run-Attack und Jackson Darts wird ein richtig gutes Spiel haben, um dieses Spiel zu gewinnen. Ich nehme also Georgia. Bevor wir losgehen, haben wir ein paar andere groΓe Spiele. Wir haben Michigan und Indiana erwΓ€hnt, die dieses Wochenende spielen. Indiana ist ein groΓer Favorit. Ich denke, das wird ein Style-Points-Spiel fΓΌr Indiana sein. Sie mΓΌssen das Spiel gewinnen.
Ich denke, Lucy, sie mΓΌssen das 14,5-Punkte-Spiel abschlieΓen. Glaubst du, sie werden es machen? Ich glaube, Michigan kann keine Punkte gewinnen. They cannot do it. Yeah, I think you're right. I think, I mean, Michigan's defense is pretty injured right now, not starting all their bests. But if Indiana can score a lot, I don't see Michigan being able to match that.
Colorado and Texas Tech, we obviously have not talked about Colorado nearly as much as we probably should have this year, because we talked about them way too much last year. But this is a really, really big game. Texas Tech, we know, is capable of upsetting top teams, especially in the Big 12. So Colorado at Texas Tech, Lucy.
So you're like, I don't know about that. Okay, but Baylor? Baylor sneaky is going to make a bowl game. What's going on with Baylor? Like, what happened? They beat TCU this weekend. There's too much happening.
I agree with you.
Man, ich war gerade in der Grafik von Baker Mayfield vs. Pat Mahomes, die diese Woche auf Monday Night Football war, wo sie gezeigt haben, wie viele offensiven Yards und Passattempten und Touchdowns sie in dem Spiel von 2016 gespielt haben. Und ich habe mich nur an Patrick Mahomes geschaut mit 88 Passattempten. Mann, ich habe den alten Big 12 verpasst. Das waren die guten alten Tage.
Bringt es zurΓΌck. Bringt es zurΓΌck. Alright, Lucy. South Carolina vs. Vanderbilt. Any chance Vandy pulls off another big upset?
I'm taking the over by another 20 years. I bought silverware when I moved to Florida, because it was the first time I ever needed to buy silverware. I was like, I'm going to have this silverware until I'm 65 years old. That was my thought process. I better pick something sleek, because I'm going to have this for the rest of my life, baby.
The judge banged their gavel after that one. Yeah, it was a good one.
My dad just texted me and said he also rotates used items. What?
Or they have the same mental illness, I'm not sure.
Ich denke, dass die schlimmste Sache, die Lehman mir sagen kΓΆnnte, wenn ich heute von der Arbeit nach Hause kam, war, hey, ich werde Marathons anfangen.
Nein, denn es wird erwartet, dass ich in die Marathons gehe, in die er rennt und von der Seite wege.
I was in New York on Sunday. Same thing. I wanted to see some of my friends. I walked outside. I turned around. I was Homer Simpsons' dad. I walked right back inside. I was not going anywhere on Sunday. I can only tell you Go ahead, David.
Octopuses and squids, by the way.
Also Hagfish.
Earthworms. Roaches? Ew. Cuttlefish. Garden snails. Multiple hearts. There you go. Roaches have multiple hearts?
It says that their main heart is in their head.
I'm still on cockroaches, by the way. It's unclear if they actually do have multiple hearts. Google search is really giving me a tough time. They may only have one heart, but it's in multiple parts of their body.
I wish I could tell you.
Du solltest es zweimal machen.
Shout out to COVID. And I do extra soap underneath my fingernails.
You're talking about the decorative towels that are like, some of them are like 50% embroidery or like 50% some sort of decorative thing that doesn't even dry.
They might not even dry.
It might have ass on it.
We didn't get any clarification, by the way.
Valerie says hi, by the way.
Nein, er ist richtig. Wir gehen nicht in Clubs in 2005 raus. KΓΆnnen Sie das auf diese Zeitung erlΓ€utern? Also.
Ja, wir machen unsere nachher.
Nein, ich bin mit dir. Und ihr werdet mich niemals verabschieden, weil ich dachte, er wΓΌrde sagen, wir gehen auf die Kante, und keiner von euch hat das gesagt. Wir sehen einfach Dinge anders, und das ist in Ordnung.
That's difficult because gemstones just ended. The series finale came out like a month ago. I love, love, love gemstones. I think they Danny McBride is so funny and man, just, it's such a funny show. They're satirizing, you know, Christian mega churches in the south. Um, so it's sort of right up my alley a little bit. Um, I love gemstones hacks. I.
really, really like, but I didn't really love the season finale of the last season that just finished a few nights ago. I thought it was just ended on a strange note. I thought the episode before would have probably been a better finale. The studio is great. Very, very good show by Seth Rogen. And again, I'm like, man, I think Seth Rogen's so funny.
No wonder when I was a child, Pineapple Express was my favorite movie because it's just Seth Rogen and Danny McBride.
I think you're doing great, Jess. Just keep going along. I think you're doing a really great job.
I'll say Four Hacks.
I like Mike Schur. Well, can I stay on for Mike Schur? I like him. Does he have anything to say about the Women's College World Series? He's hot on that.
The Studio.
Rehearsal.
the women's college world series you were saying it has been electric i'm not the biggest softball fan in the world and i barely understand the rules it's it's not a sport that i ever played but i've been watching over the last few weeks and it's been so good oklahoma who's like the you know one of the biggest sports dynasties in the world oklahoma softball they lost to texas tech in the semi-final now texas tech's playing texas for the national championship and texas tech if you haven't been paying attention
That's okay. They have a player who transferred from Stanford, Nyjah Kennedy, who got over a million dollars to transfer to Texas Tech. It is a huge NIL deal. Texas Tech, if you're paying attention to the college football space, you probably know this, but they have a pretty big time NIL collective there now. They have a big football transfer class coming. I'm sure Mike's all over it.
But softball, they've never won a softball national championship, either has Texas. So whoever wins the series is going to be, it's going to be the first for them. But obviously they knocked off the Giants in Oklahoma. So now they are playing against Texas. The first game was Wednesday night. Texas won off of a hit, off of an intentional walk.
absolutely crazy scene it was just like just I guess a badly executed intentional walk but um crazy win for Texas the best of three series so the it may go to three games if if uh Texas Tech can win the next game but it's been so much fun the game in which Texas Tech beat Oklahoma was also electric Oklahoma scored a tying two run
Two runs off a hit to tie it late in the seventh, and Texas Tech came back on a walk-off run and got it. And it was just so much, oh, damn, it's been so good. And this is the time of year where we've got WNBA, we've got softball, and then like every seven days we have an NBA finals game. So there's just tons of time for sports right now, and I am loving it.
Hi, Dan.
Wasn't it against the Marlins?
Yes, I don't know if anyone else saw this article that was in the New York Times. I want to say a week ago, but it was a story about these mountaineers who used a, I think, xenon gas to acclimate to the altitude so that they could climb up Mount Everest faster. And it raises, obviously, all sorts of medical concerns, also ethical concerns. Like, is it better to be on the mountain less?
Is that safer? safer to go at your own pace without any sort of performance-enhancing drugs. And it's also not a regulated sport, right? So it's not like there's any sort of sport-governing body that's like, hey, you can't do that.
This is people spending their money and their free time to do something where it normally takes multiple weeks because you have to go to base camp and hang out for a while before you can climb up the mountain. And it's extremely dangerous, even though there's obviously guides who take you up there and you have to you need their help, basically, because it's so treacherous.
But it just blew my mind that this is a thing that someone thought of, let alone that people are actually doing. And it's becoming one of those things where it's like, should it be hard to climb up Mount Everest? Should that be something that we can just do conveniently? Or is this something that is only important and meaningful and profound because it's difficult? And I don't know.
I had a lot of questions after reading this article. I thought it was crazy.
Apparently she cut through the course, but she may not have actually known she cut through the course until after she won. There's all sorts of like retconning of like what actually happened with her. It's like, did she win? And then she was like, Oh, Oh shit. Or did she do it on purpose? Was it, was it like, you know, mischievous?
I'm not sure, dad, but yeah, it does seem like one of those things. I don't know. You can ask David Sampson, I guess your boss do God's what he thinks. Cause he climbed a mountain once or something and ran a marathon or something. I don't know what he does, but he talks about it. I zone out.
Good correction. Her being alive, period, is more impressive than any of these people climbing Mount Everest with the xenon gas. Just simply being alive. That's a lot before the age of 13, man.
No, it's really sad. It's one of those things, though, where it's like, yeah, I guess you don't know the side effects of like using this gas to go up the mountain. But like, do you want to find out? Because you could also just not climb the mountain or just take an extra week off of work and do it the regular way. I don't know. It seems kind of scary.
Dreisaitl.
Can I admit something super embarrassing that happened to me last night during the Panthers game?
First of all, I watched the Panthers game. I have not watched a Panthers game my whole life. That was the first one.
So it was the first quarter. Period. Period. Sorry. Oh, my God. That was, wow.
See, it's been a while. How could she not know that?
McDavid hit one off the post, and then I think the Panthers had a goal, but they were reviewing it to see if there was interference, whatever. So I'm just kind of reading my book while the game's on. And then 10 minutes later, McDavid hits one off the post, and then the Panthers score, but they're reviewing it to see if it actually was interference or not.
And then I realized that my TV, I don't know if this has ever happened to you guys on YouTube TV, it rewound for some reason.
I'm like, this has been a really long period, and I can't believe this just happened again. And then I went forward to real time, and the Panthers were winning 2-1. So I was like, oh, well, they're probably going to win this game. So I went to bed.
It's terrible. I don't know. I think someone must have sat on it. Maybe I sat on it. Maybe Willow sat on it.
Yeah, he was like, this is like if Notre Dame lost the national championship two years in a row to USC. And I was like, you're right. I would probably walk into the river and never return if that were the case. The tips thing is really interesting. I know you guys have covered it a lot, and I'm sure Samora will be on later to talk about it more.
But if this is just James Dolan meddling, then that's not great. But if there's a plan- to actually make a better hire or someone that's going to not make some of the Tibbs mistakes, someone that's going to dabble with different lineups during the regular season. Gasp. It's not the worst thing, but I don't know. We'll see, I guess. It's kind of bad analysis, but...
I thought Mad Dog was spot on with his rant. I don't know if you heard it yesterday about it. But Dan Hurley, I haven't seen that name anywhere. Didn't UConn just give him a time? I mean, they're already paying Tibbs, what, like $30 million to leave? So they have to pay Hurley a ton of money, too?
If you're a Knicks fan, are you excited by that, though? I don't know.
Oh, God. Why are you talking about him? That's not even a funny name.
Ushmanzada.
Yeah, so when I first saw the first episode of season two, I was like, oh, I don't know if I'm going to like this because he was reenacting commercial airline crashes, which is something that obviously myself and I feel like every person is terrified of. And so I was like, maybe this isn't the best show to watch if I'm like a little squeamish around flying.
Tell Mike sure I'm sorry.
It was just the finale. I just didn't like the last episode. I love the show, though. I love Jean Smart. She's so funny.
Jess has only been gone for two minutes.
But then I sort of forced myself to keep watching. And then by the episode that Mike was talking about with the Paramount Germany recreation, I was...
The first part. Only the first part, which was a surprise.
laughing so hard at his entire bit with paramount germany and one of his nathan for you episodes getting censored um from paramount plus and then there was and the next episode which was even more insane where he recreated the life of sully the famous airline pilot portrayed by tom hanks uh in the movie sully who landed a plane on the hudson the miracle on the hudson not to be confused with the miracle on the mojave uh which happened in the finale but
I was just like, I could not believe what I was watching. And then obviously it's not spoiler Wednesday, but the show came out over a week and a half ago now, and you already played the CNN clip. So I feel like I can spoil this. In the finale, you find out that he's actually been training to be a pilot for the last two years.
And they show him, all of a sudden, he's in a plane flying around California. And he wants to fly a 737. He starts going to scrapyards looking for abandoned 737s to fly passengers on a plane so he can act out this pilot communication bit that he's been talking about through the season. And I don't know. It just was one of those television series that after I watched it, I was so blown away by...
the extent to which he went to complete the payoff of this bit because you're like the whole time you're like why does he care about this like he apparently he's very interested in like airline crashes whatever but then by the end you're like what this whole thing was a setup to find out that he actually flew a plane in the finale of this show
Cuervo.
Yes, I read an interview with him and an aviation reporter where the guy was like, so do you still transport 737s? And he was like, yeah, occasionally they'll text me and be like, can you be in China on this day? We need to get this plane across the ocean. And he'll go and it's him and one other person. It's an empty plane and like transport these huge 737s. Absolutely bonkers.
They show clips of him talking in the cockpit. So I think he is practicing what he preaches.
It's so much time commitment, too. I was talking to one of my friends who's trying to become a pilot this past weekend. And he's flown for the last five or six years on top of doing another job. And he still has over 1,000 hours he needs to complete before he's eligible to be hired by a commercial airline. It's just a massive time commitment.
And obviously, when you're learning and when you eventually get to fly on your own, the stakes are enormous. There were so many people on the rehearsal subreddit that I was reading that were like, well, on the bright side, when the finale aired, at least we all knew he survived because we probably would have heard about it if he had randomly died in a plane crash in the last two years.
There would have been a news story about it. So I guess we kind of knew the ending would be a happy one. But still, it's just absolutely crazy. There was also... some people, you can like research the FAA database. It's public of like who's registered to fly, I guess. And so fans of his had found that there was a pilot named Nathan Fielder who had gotten his license at some point.
So there was some hints along the way that like people were sort of onto this whole scheme, but I don't think anyone really expected the payoff to be what it was. And on top of that, like it's really not like a, A spoiler because the funny parts of the show are just the comedic bits, not necessarily like the narrative of the season.
So if you can get from Albert Einstein wet dreams to the miracle over the Mojave on CNN, like there's there's so much so many laughs in between there. You can't really spoil any of it.
The shipping container.
I am surprised that HBO's lawyers were like cool with all of that because I have friends that have worked on HBO shows and like everything that they air obviously has to go through lawyer scrutiny. And so the fact that they were just like, yeah, this is fine. Like you can slander one of our competitors. And it's a satire. Obviously, I think you can get away with a lot under the guise of comedy.
But like it just surprised me that and the fact that there were 150 passengers flown in the miracle over the Mojave. It's just like, wow, they get away with a lot with those lawyers.
I probably side where you would expect. Also, the excuse is always like, well, the men's matches are longer and it's hard to know when they're going to end sometimes if you have a match scheduled after that. It seems like the other majors, though, Mike, have figured it out. The U.S. Open is able to schedule night matches for the women, if I'm not mistaken.
right and and also like the the reason the women play fewer sets in the majors is because of you know kind of frivolous stupid reasons too it's not like anyone's asking for for for less tennis but um I don't know yeah it's it's I mean figure it out it's stupid but the only reason I guess the only ways that these things change is more and more pressure being put on these institutions to just
do what is not only the popular thing, but the right thing.
There's tons of star power in the women's semifinals right now. Coco Gauff, obviously, is the last American who's left on either the men's or the women's side. Sabalenka and Sviatek is a huge match. I mean, Sabalenka is just an absolute... She's so good.
Well, when this segment ends, I can go watch it. But anyways, yeah, it's... Right now, I'm just watching Willow lay on her back behind my cell phone.
I heard there was another dog in the studio last week. What happened with that?
I never want to be the dog after the dog.
Oh, my God. We should expect more from all of these fresh out of high school kids. We should.
Yeah, that's like the Internet reaction we got, I thought was crazy because like my entire job is going out to Ohio State games every once in a while and asking them, do they hate Ryan Day? And usually the answer is like, yeah, a little bit. So like where I'm out, I'm talking to the field, you know, I'm out direct with the source.
You know what the people want.
And I will say, I went into this game. This is the first game at Ohio State we had ever covered. I was very nervous because I've heard just, like, not pleasant things about Ohio State. And for some reason, Iowa and Ohio State don't tend to play very often. So I've actually never been to a game there. So I've, like, avoided most of it. They were incredibly kind, welcoming, and friendly people.
Like, genuinely. And we had someone, like, with us, like, Michigan producer. Like, he had stuff on, which, like, I told him not to wear his own fault. And they were still... Yeah, they were still very nice to him.
So, like, I think just the people online are very irrational, but I think it's one of those things where, like, they always, you know, they do the same hype video every year before the game, and it's a fan being like, we don't care if we go 1-11 unless that one is against Michigan, you know? Like, they always have that stupid line.
Which is not true at all. But it is, like, a different sort of thing. This is a... a job that requires you win that game and you haven't won that game and like whatever the last three years not great this year devastatingly embarrassing and just honestly inexcusable because you had no plan in place for what Michigan was going to do when everyone on the planet knew what Michigan was going to do.
Oh, no, that wasn't actually the one I'm doing it for. I'm not going to say it because their fans are going to be really mad. But you know who I'm talking about.
My favorite part about the Gus Johnson being like, nobody wants to see this, is the last three hours he was like, these people hate each other more than anything. The camera's like zooming in. Yeah. If murder was legal, they would have done it by now. Like, just crazy shit. Yeah, I think this is embarrassing. I would be so mad if I was an Ohio State fan.
I think it helps you in a sneaky little weird way where now you're avoiding playing Oregon and you're probably going to get a home playoff game. Still, just like... You have to beat that Michigan team. Man, Washington did it. You could do it. I guess you can't do it.
That's insane. It's, No one has had that like conversation. There was a point on the show earlier this week where I had to be like, by the way, this is the police's fault, right? Like the police pulled out the pepper spray and at the point they did it, it was late enough in the fight where things had sort of slowed down. It was a very unnecessary use of pepper spray.
And like there were a million and ten flag planting incidents this weekend, a million and ten fights and pepper spray was not used in any of the other ones.
That was the problem.
Look, speaking of 13 points, which Ohio State didn't reach, Iowa did. Cade McNamara entered the transfer portal. It's a portal season. I did not know that Cade McNamara entered the portal until I opened up my doc to do prep for this show. And it was Cade McNamara entered the portal. And if I said I was sad. That would be a lie. I would not be telling the truth if I said that.
Oh, yeah. Great weekend for him just to look back and be like losers. And he played last year. He you know, there was the late pick in that game against Michigan, but he played decently last year. Like he didn't struggle against Michigan. I think Will Howard played a lot worse this year than McCord did last year.
So yeah, we were able to watch part of the game. We were getting pepper spray out of Rose's eye for the first half, so that made things a little bit difficult. Thanks, Rose. I'm not laughing at Rose, by the way.
Yeah, I was able to watch the end of the game. To say, OK, we're going to kick the field goal. We're going to put the effort. We're going to put our faith in our defense, which is just surrender to 21 point lead. When we have potentially the best player in college football, we have a Heisman candidate in Cam Ward. Yeah, I'm going to trust my defense in that situation. No, that's stupid.
That was dumb. That was like such a like one. I don't blame the entire loss on that decision. You had a 21 point lead at Syracuse and you blew it and you're supposed to be a top 10 team in the country. I don't feel bad for you at all.
figure it out don't do that but to put your faith in the side of the ball that has consistently let you down the entire season that has just collapsed internally throughout this game and to not trust the one player who has gotten you into out of every awful situation your defense has put you in this entire season is just like a like what do you mean why are you not using any of the context clues to help you
They were mad before we started talking. It really wasn't going to make a difference. The most fun sneaky game of the weekend, Georgia Georgia Tech.
Your reaction when you said it's frustrating to watch teams don't score from the two-yard line, I was like, why would that be frustrating? What do you mean? I guess we're just built a little different. Some of us have gone through more training in that because that did happen to Iowa this weekend. Yeah, the Kirby Smart thing annoyed the shit out of me because just back off. Just be chill.
Just let it happen, okay? Guess what? We're in the cheese and overtime rules now, okay? There is no God. There is no plan. It's all out of your hands, Kirby. I think what irritates, the timeouts irritate me a lot, but I think as an equal level, the walk back and forth, why are we doing that? I mean, I get it. People are like, well, the field conditions and whatnot, where I'm like...
Doesn't matter that much. That's going to make the game end faster if the field conditions are shittier. You're welcome.
It was tough, but it was still a lot of fun. The whole time I was watching it, I thought, oh my God, I'm so grateful my favorite team is not playing in this game right now.
They'll say, hey, we're going to ban Hornsdown for one game, and now you're equal. Well, hey, here's one. Here's one canister of trash. You throw it when you want. No questions asked.
I was not surprised. I think Texas was sort of in a weird situation where they just kind of got the benefit of not having to play anybody but Georgia. And they lost to Georgia. But I never quite doubted how good Texas was. And I also think it's very like Texas and A&M haven't played since 2011. So it's been quite a long time. But these schools hate each other a lot.
A&M hates Texas more than Texas hates A&M. I want to make that very clear. But there's a lot of hatred between these two schools. So I kind of expected... I think I expected A&M to play a little bit better. But I thought Texas was a lot better. I thought Texas was a lot more talented. I thought... After blowing a dud to Auburn, I lost a lot of faith in ATM after that.
But this was an incredibly dominant performance by Texas. It just didn't really seem like that because ATM's defense was able to show up in certain situations and get points off the board. But their offense didn't do shit. Texas could very well be the best team in the country right now. And I have a pretty good feeling they'll beat Georgia this weekend.
I don't have a Miami related take. You're welcome, everybody, for that. I do think that Alabama at 11 doesn't quite sit right with me. I kind of think that South Carolina is a little bit more deserving, just considering the way the two teams have played. As of late and South Carolina does have a blowout loss to Ole Miss. Alabama has a blowout loss to Oklahoma.
Those are two very, very different football teams. One of those is like a damn. Well, the other one was like, burn it all to the ground. We have.
to start from scratch so I don't love Alabama at the 11th spot I think it's not shocking to me that like I hate to be like biases and the media machine or whatever I don't think it's that but I do think that if the college football playoff had the opportunity to put Alabama in the in the playoff they were gonna do it no matter what um and I I don't like them at that 11th spot I don't think that they deserve to be there uh and I I put it all on that Oklahoma loss which was incredibly bad
Yeah, it's just tough because we all sort of believe in the transitive property of college football in the sense of like, okay, well, you beat them and they're better than you. But I look at teams like South Carolina who are so completely different now than they were in September when they played Alabama, and Alabama who's gotten significantly worse.
It's just tough because I genuinely believe that if South Carolina and Alabama played right now, that game would play out differently. And it also wasn't a type of loss where Alabama beat the shit out of South Carolina. South Carolina had it until the very end of that game. Yeah. It was just a drive that didn't end the way they wanted it to.
And so I would put South Carolina in above Bama and Ole Miss.
Exactly. No, and, like, my whole thing is, like, Teams change so much throughout the course of a season and games change so much. And you're, you know, like Florida starting off. I hate to bring in Miami and Florida. That wasn't a strong. If Miami and Florida played right now, that game would go incredibly differently. Florida is a much improved team. The defense has gotten better.
DJ Lagway has gotten better. That's a different team than week one. All of these teams are different than week one. So it's just hard and whatever. Yeah.
Oh, I miss legends and leaders. Bring back fun, weird divisions. And then you got me back for college for conference championship games. But like if it doesn't like it means something, it means something because then you get a bye. But it also. Oh, shit. Oregon now loses to Penn State, which I don't think is going to happen. But oh, great.
Now you no longer have a bye, even though you're the best team in college football all year. Doesn't make any sense. Everything... And also, like, the way the bracket would play out, if Oregon does win, they get a bye, but they get the winner of, like, the Ohio State Regional or whatever.
They didn't play SMU or Clemson and they didn't make it in.
The person who did shit, he's gone now. See you later, brother. Get a job.
No.
I don't feel that Arizona State's best receiver is out. I do think Arizona State's going to win, but I actually think this is going to be a pretty competitive game. They're ranked, what, 15-16, so it's the closest ranked matchup between the two.
I feel pretty confident in that, too. I'm going to take Georgia. The way like we kind of talked about a little bit, the way Carson Beck played against Texas. Yeah, he hasn't played like that since. Carson Beck has been bad for the last few months. I think he's sort of fixed the turnover itch a little bit more than he, you know, it was really bad a few weeks ago.
He kind of fixed it against Tennessee. Carson back is turning the wrong way, and I think Texas is turning the right way. Also, figure out how you want to use Arch Manning. Figure out what your whole dealio there is. But I think that Texas is going to win. I think losing a game like that is sort of a wake-up call.
I think Texas has only gotten better since, and I don't necessarily think Georgia's gotten better since.
Yeah, I think he even said he's like, we could be the first three-loss national championship. Shut your mouth.
Iowa had five first downs of one. That's what I'm saying.
Oh, my God. I hope all you Jennifer's have a great weekend at conference championship. Then I'll see you in Indy.
Very uneventful, very casual, very chill, incredibly low key.
It was just funniest case scenario the entire way around. I think the only thing that could have been funnier is, like, if Michigan had, like, 400 passing yards. And we were just like, we were saving them.
Pretty good. It was funny when it happened. It was funny when Rose got pepper sprayed. It was. And then going back and just re-looking over the stats after this game happened made everything funnier. Because it's just like, how did you manage to blow this? How did you manage to do literally nothing?
The entire time watching that game, it felt very much like to me that Ohio State went in with the mindset of we are just more talented than you and that is why we will win. We're like Michigan plays a very specific brand of football and they've had to rely on that this season more than ever before. So you knew exactly what they were going to do. There was never a question.
The only question was they're missing their best player on offense and defense, which you think would help your case. It did not. And then you just lost. You didn't plan for Michigan at all. You said, we're just, ah, we have $20 million. The whole thing, I think, is just one of the biggest, like, coaching meltdowns I've ever seen or failures I've ever seen. I don't care what anybody says.
Coach can't make the player make a field goal. Shut up. You can prepare for Michigan. You know what they're going to do. I knew what they were going to do. How did you not know?
Well, beauty being in the eye of the beholder, why is Alabama more attractive than, say, a Heisman potential winning quarterback with that type of offense? Because you keep harping on the defense, but nobody cares about defense, really. Offense is what makes you beautiful, isn't it?
In terms of a made-for-TV event, if you've got a high-scoring offense and a great quarterback, you're more attractive. That would be my argument anyway.
1988.
I think this is how we can get Dan to throw an ornament.
This is your first, this is your ultimate core memory. I think this has driven everything about your life.
How long did it last?
I don't even know FAU's alma mater. Which is worse, arm in arm singing the alma mater or hosting a fake fantasy event like the PFPI? That's not fake. Worse or better, both of these things are lovely.
I want to stick to the Lakers for a second, just because I don't have as much faith in the Miami Heat as I have in the past. But this whole JJ Redick thing, the one part before he started coaching where I said, hey, how are they going to hear JJ Redick when he is complaining to them about the defense they don't play? Because JJ Redick, as a defender in the NBA... Effort, not very good, right?
Now, you saw that effort yesterday at the Lakers game. Wait a minute, what happened, Tony?
No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that because he's fresh off of his playing days, and most of these players played against him and probably cooked him when he was defending them, if he is telling them to play harder on defense, I don't think they hear it the same. I haven't seen a team play that lazily on defense, at least one that's supposed to be good in the long term.
I'll take it even further. J.J. Redick got a LeBron James for the first time in his career, probably since the beginning, where it's not championship or bust. That is not priority number one for LeBron James in a year where he had his son play with him. Works hard. In a year where he wants to play 82 games of all the years. To try to play 82 games this year where you're turning 40 as what?
To check it off? On your list, these are all very, let's just say, selfish goals, not team goals.
But that's the missing link on this team. Anthony Davis has to be the driving force. Like we've been saying that maybe since 2020, but it wasn't really true. Now it's absolutely true. And so yesterday is a great example of either he hasn't been treated like he's the man by opponents, or he just doesn't really know how to act when he is treated like that.
Because as Jeremy said, the double teams threw them off entirely. I don't know what to do when that happens. Let me just kick it out. And when you go through these stretches where people say, oh, wow, when he plays 20 games in a row, he looks like the MVP. But then you get three or four games like this. He's just not that. He has to be the one that wants it more.
More so than LeBron, even more than J.J. Redick, because he's just getting into his coaching career. This is so much better than college football playoff talk.
Not the fourth, seventh season. Right, I was confused too, Chris. Chunky Nerd! I do have a follow-up question. Jess, so you said whatever happens within those four quarters, after that, you just let it go. But when he broke the TV and the game was over, what happened then?
But we're all cheering for the same thing here, right? Why are we all being assholes to each other? Mom, dad, Jess, what's happening? Football.
Oh, we're in the future.
The problem is I think people under the age of 30 no longer answer the phone anymore. So, like, half the people in this room are like... So, what is it?
You were doing so well, Chris.
He has so much confidence all week.
Scam likely is calling and it's just your kids.
Guys, Chris said Burby. We officially don't need to go to game five. According to ESPN, Paige Beckers holds the highest career per game scoring average, 19.9 points, in Huskies history.
Yeah, a lot of players have played there.
And yet she stands apart right now. Also, I mentioned a stat in the last segment about her last three games, 105 points, best in Huskies history. She's on a tear right now, which is why I picked UConn to win in the Final Four game this weekend.
Yeah, we did a top five list last week of like Tony's secret sauce players, I guess.
Well, that's why we wanted to do a top five list of athletes who maybe were overlooked in March Madness history.
He still said Burby. Burby.
O-L-I, Jimmer Fredette.
I don't know. Number five, Cooper Flagg. Hold on. Wait a minute. Number four, Zion Williamson. Oh. Okay. Woo. Well. Woo. Woo. Number three, Caitlin Clark. Oh, we back.
We're back. Number two, Steph Curry. Oh, wait a minute. These are the March Madness performances we never talk about, guys. We're always talking about the secret sauce, guys.
No, he was like, we support you, son. We'll do whatever it takes.
You ain't seen it.
You tell me to cut back. I'm trying to cut back. It went off me, coach.
I mean, the Elite Eight round was, there were some rough games on both sides.
I've been trying to come up with a top five athletes who connote breasts list for three weeks now, and Knipple's really all I got. Boobie Gibson?
Boobie Feaster, but that's a deep cut.
Yeah. Okay, so I have two now.
Actually, there was one other stat about pagebackers I didn't get to fit in.
Is there anyone named Cans? I don't know.
The Texas Rangers this year, I guess.
I love him just shitting on Jeremy all day, but in an earnest way.
No, we all roll our eyes and we're like, oh, shut up, Jeremy. And you're like, yikes, that's a bad joke.
He also hates us, too, though, Chris.
This is the thing, you're not special.
Damn.
I have a top five list. Chester Taylor.
OLI, the Minnesota Twins.
Jug McSpaden. Jordan Tata. Number five, Jesse Rack. Number four, Jose Canseco. Number three, Conn Knipple. Number two, Boobie Feaster. Number one, number 69 for the Ohio Bobcats, Parker Titsworth. What?
Is it the power of friendship?
I feel the same way. I understand, I call it the GMification of sports fans. I understand fans being interested in that, and I'm kind of speaking for myself, too. Obviously, I'm interested in all of the big picture ramifications.
And then if you're a fan, you're like, yeah, it's like so into the nitty gritty sometimes where I'm like, oh, now we're talking about like comp picks and like all I'm like, this is I it's too much. It's I don't I'm not the GM. I don't need to know the dollars and cents decimal points of the how much cap space is left.
There's contract incentives, too, right? Like, Spoh probably gets paid, like, 50 grand to make the play. I don't know how much it is. But, like, players make money to be on an all-star team. Chris, I don't know how much he gets paid. I feel like if I said $500,000, that's way too high. But 50 grand is probably too low. It's somewhere in the middle. I'm just ballparking here.
How much do you think his playoff incentive bonus structure is? I don't know, but I know 50 grand. Exactly. You don't know. I just threw out a number, okay?
Well, that's just because it's Jeremy.
Chris, tell us about the heat game last night. I want to hear your take on it.
We know he said the name of the person who like is doing the whole diet thing. And I went on their website and there's like a whole section called horizontal time and it's trademarked.
No, we're revealing this on air for the first time.
No, it's apparently like a digestion thing.
Thank you.
What time do you guys wake up when you stay here to do the show? What time do you have to be up? Because we all get up at the ass crack of dawn because we have to commute in.
Right, so you're just rolling out of bed at like 8.30?
See, I'm not going to a second location to drink if I'm getting up at 6.30.
You're only beating it when you're on the road?
You sound so well rested right now. I'm not going to lie. Like, this is the most. You've had great energy all week. But right now, you just sound rested. Yep. Sounds like you made the right choice.
Death.
Here come the Blues.
That's not a kind of type of situation.
No, I think we should.
Would that be less? Like an 80s MC? Yeah. Okay. Maybe you're the baby mama. Look at me, Leroy.
The car dealership? I know Burt Baccarat.
That back row is bringing it today. This is the Don Levitar Show with the Stugats.
What?
No one's thinking Pep Hamilton. No? No one's thinking. Very specific to me.
This is the Dan Levitard Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
I think we're to the point where we're going to need two bye weeks now.
Oh, yeah. I like where your head's at, Roy.
Yeah, I'm like, okay.
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I have a question.
Well, no, that's different than Datter Day. Father's Day and Datter Day are very different.
Stop being morbid here. I'm not being morbid. I was just. Greg's not going to get in quicksand.
Yeah, where does it go? I don't know. Maybe you could end up there and there's like a nice bubble of oxygen. Maybe the key is just go along for the ride.
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So do you get one dadder day a year, like Father's Day? I would like one dadder day a year. Plus Father's Day. Oh, yeah. Father's Day is different.
I would love that. It seems like you're going to have, if you don't, then you have two dadder days roll over, correct? Yes. So you'd have two dadder days next year if Chris doesn't get it out of the way this year.
Bamboo spreads like wildfire, I've heard.
Well, this is what you should have done, is you should have pitched it as, you know, my dad would really love to go, and a great Father's Day gift for him would be me going with him to the game. Oh, it's not too late for that. I'm not doing it for me. I'd like to go with my father. He doesn't want to go to Edmonton. Does it matter if Greg goes? I mean... Well, yeah, it's Father's Day.
It's Father's Day. Chris cannot celebrate Father's Day with his father nor with his child.
Zimbabwe. Nothing sounds better. How confident are you guys?
How confident are you guys in the Ice Cats? Oh, I got them winning in six. In six? Okay, so where do you have the losses coming from?
So this is what I'm thinking, and I'd like to propose to you, Roy. And Tony, by the way, welcome to the Panwagon. Now the Stanley Cup is here. I'm locked in. Exactly right. Are you?
They've won. They won. They made it there. Roy, hypothetical situation for you. You have it going six, so you have the Panthers losing two games, correct? Yeah. All right. Should the Panthers win the first two games, would you ever consider forfeiting the next two so you don't have to fly to Edmonton? And it's still a 2-2 split. Come back two games apiece.
And then you come back for game five, but then you have to go to Edmonton for game six. Would you ever spot them any games and not make that eight-hour flight so they can rest up?
Oh, we got him.
There's one in Denver.
Why don't the Panthers charter flights for their fans? Sell the tickets. Make it convenient. Have direct flights.
That's not a bad idea, actually. Americans should do one direct. Why don't we do it? Why don't we charter a flight for Panthers fans and we can charge them anything they want? People don't like connecting flights. So let's charter a direct flight from here to Edmonton. I don't know who we need to talk to. Someone out there, if you're listening.
Charter. PJ. No, no, no.
no look this is actually a really good idea okay we charter a plane right when you charter a plane you sell the tickets and you can kind of control the price of the tickets i'm assuming right so in theory we can do this at no cost to the company we just put the money up front right and then we charge for the tickets an offsetting amount to cover roy's cost and the hotel cost now we want
to make a little profit.
It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work and it's a big risk, but I think there will be people interested in going to see the Florida Panthers play in Edmonton on a direct flight. Let's just charter a flight. Why can't we do that?
I'm not satisfied with two.
Well, Tony's a pilot. So for Tony, it's like half price and maybe you get the thrill of flying. Yeah, you're fine.
We've said all. He said all. We've said all. First time hearing any of this, Greg.
It's all been said.
What? How did you guys manage this? Well, we made a bet, and Whittingham has to pay it off. I know, but this is like a Dan thing. So, like, you're doing it when Dan's not here.
You shut the water off?
I think he's getting hit by the water.
It was weird. What a visual.
Greg, what do you think of those commercials? Not that I'm implying that this is for you, but what do you think of those commercials of those things that they gear towards? You know, the more senior generations where they turn your shower into a tub with a door. Have you seen those that you close it and then you can sit down and basically it can fill all the way up to your chest or whatever?
Or do it in the shower. Then it's okay because it gets wet because you're in the shower, not because you're cheating.
You have some hot takes today. Joe Chestnut's a fraud.
Hot dogs are good as one.
Don't, don't. I know PTSD there, Tony, with the waves, but you need waves. Yeah, you don't want a straight line.
I had two.
No. I have an update for everyone. Yesterday, for the first time, I had Chipotle. Oh. You've never had Chipotle before? Wait, did you give them the nod? Did you do the nod? Uber Eats did. Yes, a no nod.
I just put in notes, nod. Or a digital, yeah, digital.
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Right. That's all. How about these two words? Pommel horse.
Well, that's your performance. His is his performance. Each person has their own performance. The ribbon dancing seems easy. Oh, I would do that. Something someone could do.
Yeah, I could. Balance beam, I think, is like the first sport every child plays, right? Where they just do it on a curb.
Walking circles.
He was on a pool in that photo shoot.
You got out of a rip current once?
Typically in cooking competitions, speed is not the agenda.
Yeah. That's right.
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I want to talk about a team that I actually want to see come playoff time. I want to see the Chiefs. I want Patrick Mahomes strolling into my stadium with max confidence. I want Travis Kelsey. I want Taylor Swift. I want the team that lost to Jordan Love. I want the team that lost to Aiden O'Connell. I want the team that trailed 17 to nothing to Jake Browning.
That is the team that I would like to face in the playoffs. That's the team, indeed, that I would want to face in the playoffs because that team is not very good.
I wrote that down.
Like, he was a backup his whole career. But he came back last year to build his points.
There was a baseball player called Rick Monday.
2017.
Hey, Dan Stewart on a mobile phone. First time, long time. Love the show. Anyway, Dan, I don't know if you watched the games over the weekend, but I did. And let me tell you something. I got to be honest with you. If the Chiefs think they can play like that, the way they did against the Texans.
If they think they can play like that against Josh Allen and the Buffalo Bills, they got another thing coming. I mean, they do. And let me tell you something. If the Chiefs play the way they did last weekend against the Texans and they play that way against the Buffalo Bills, the Bills are just going to win the game. They're going to win the game by three touchdowns, possibly four. How about that?
I'll hang up and listen.
It was bittersweet because we love football so much, and no one loves football more than Billy, that we get sad this time of year because we just have a single game. Like my Saturday felt empty. I didn't know what to do with myself. There was no college football, and now we just have one football game left, and then it's over. So it's a bittersweet day here on God Bless Football.
Weird. I like the 3 and 6.30 start. I like having more time to get my stuff done on a Sunday before the games start. I enjoyed it.
You good? I'm good with that, but this one's pretty good.
Billy thinks, and we apologize because this was brought up during God Bless Football, that Spag should bring all the secrets to Buffalo.
It's a good take. I don't care if it's recycled.
Play the Bills again, beat them, play the Eagles, beat them, then play the Bengals.
I think the Chiefs were a one-and-a-half point favorite. Yeah, I think it's one-and-a-half.
Keep an eye on it. I like that move. I am watching it. It's already up to minus two.
I happen to agree with Dan. I think people are going to pound Philadelphia. I do. I think people feel like that's the best team in the NFL. Just like they pounded the Bills.
Oh, big difference, yeah.
I mean, I'm not sure. The stupidity that I see is the Bills coach running the same exact fourth down play that he ran four plays before. That's the stupidity that I see. I mean, seriously, that's a big moment. As you pointed out, they're up by a point. They're on the road. They're trying to put the two-time Super Bowl champions away. And you have to get that. Patrick Mahomes always gets that.
And Josh Allen doesn't always get that. Can you question the way they're marking the football? Of course. But that's the way they've been doing it forever. But he got it. He got it.
How much do I owe? I don't have those. Is that a name wrong or a mistake? If London said it, it would have meant more. Unfortunately, it wasn't. It was Ben Lieber. It means nothing. I think it was. It was also not Ben Lieber. Is that two fines? Was it Pete Burchett? There it is. Notre Dame linebacker. Oh, he played linebacker. It's not cash anymore, Stugatz. Yeah, I've got to do the QR code.
I've got to do something. Mike will show me how.
I mean, he just has a podcast.
Mike Webster.
That's a good one.
I have to be honest. I have thought the same thing. It's true. It's true. He's broadcasting in one of the major cities is Fort Lauderdale, and he's named Dwight Lauderdale.
Barrett Robbins? I mean, Webster is up there, right? It might be Barrett. The Pounceys are good. The Pounceys had their day.
I think when you're talking all-time centers, you have to include Bulldog Turner. Yeah. All-decade team. I mean, great name. Bulldog.
Yes, from being an all-time great.
Right, and spags.
To Mike's point, teams with four-plus touchdowns and zero turnovers are 21-2 in the playoffs since 2000. So it's 2020, excuse me. The two losses, the Bills at Chiefs 2024 AFC Championship, Bills at Chiefs 2001 Divisional Round. He is keeping... Mike is right. Patrick Mahomes is keeping Josh Allen from being Patrick Mahomes.
Now, you would say, hey, Josh Allen has made so many ridiculous plays for us over the years. Kincaid needs to catch that ball. It was right in his hands.
You kind of get tired of the same team doing it again and again and again, right?
The positive for them is they're playing Philadelphia.
The matchup was a classic, though. I mean, the first matchup. It was a great game. I was rooting for the Chiefs. I understand people not wanting to see the same matchup twice in three years, but it was a great game.
Food, lunch. So I got a recompoyo with like some black beans here.
Took me a minute.
Tim Conway, though, in the cartoon.
They sound exactly the same. He speaks with the same vocal patterns and level of arrogance.
It's mean. That's exactly what it is. Is it mean? It's not a compliment.
The bald look is definitely working for you.
Publix and everything.
Yes, you're the biggest person here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
We liked him better.
Yeah, he needs the energy. He's doing good. I mean, this is morning. He's here.
Yeah.
Mina.
Yeah, she did Roy's Room.
Can you rub the prednisone on your arms? This is a magic pill. Is it?
It's terrible. It's thought terminating. You say it is what it is, and like, yeah, it is.
But real Tom Brady is somewhere else talking back.
So why didn't you like Keanu Reeves?
Like Johnny Mnemonic?
The Lions are going to win the Super Bowl. The Lions have to win the Super Bowl this year.
What are we doing with odd numbers? I don't like it.
Greg, how's your birthday going so far?
Stugatz. That sounds like not a super nice night. The debate. Old people love that shit.
Yeah, Dan, there's also like in the non-quarterback category, this happened in a play in a Steelers game a few weeks ago where Minka Fitzpatrick got flagged for the same sort of hit you're talking about where it was a really, really like bone crushing hard hit, but it was legal. And so I think it was against the Colts. They got 15 yards, ended up scoring, won the game by like three points.
And afterwards, the ref said that that was an incorrect call and it was actually shouldn't have been penalized. And so like just from watching football all weekend, like
the Pitt Clemson game on Saturday there was inconsistencies with the roughing the passer call where Kate Klubnick got roughed and they called it on Pitt and then like a few plays later Pitt's quarterback had a like massive shot to the helmet that they didn't call initially and then eventually the refs did call it after everyone booed them for five minutes it was just a disaster the Notre Dame Virginia game had a ton of bad calls in it like the officiating just I don't know what to say about it other than it is wildly inconsistent it's frustrating as a fan to
especially when there's points being put on the board because of calls like this in late game situations. And I just don't know what else there is to say other than it stinks sometimes.
Yeah, I mean, I agree with you. I sort of empathize with having to make those split-second decisions. But I don't know what the solution is because I do think people care about the game being slowed down a lot. People hate reviews, especially if you're at a game and you're wasting three minutes on a total slowdown. It kills the momentum. It kills the fun.
No one wants to see football games get even longer because of long, slow reviews after just tackles.
I'm confused, though. When you guys talk about boxing, you always talk about buffer this, buffer that. But then when Netflix buffers, you don't like buffer anymore.
Thursday night's a Steelers trap game, Dan. We should do custom Levitard show Flanagan's cups.
I mean, we don't have to do it now, but we could do it. That's on point.
Name one that rivals that. Eagles-Cowboys is pretty good. Bears-Packers, but the Packers own the Bears.
They get no credit.
Me? No. Nothing. Terrible, terrible loss for the Bears. So stinky.
Have you ever had a bad arm month, Greg?
That's why I'm entertaining this fight.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Hey, Greg!
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This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stuckatz Podcast.
I feel like you need to learn how to love, it sounds like.
Which one's the asshole?
Named after my old college football segment.
Pawpaw's cute, too, though.
My sister's cat's name is Kennewick.
Named after Not Dan Yesterday for the selection show.
Coach L was on time.
And now everyone gets along?
I'm just picturing him talking about like what cats do when they have sex. Like, he's just not paying attention. Just talking about animals having sex.
I think he would revel. I could definitely see them like kind of like grumbling under their breath to each other about basketball. Right. Like sort of complaining back and forth by the Knicks.
Yeah.
I also learned one thing Knicks fans all sort of have in common is they don't want your sympathy. They want to be angry and complain and annoyed, but as soon as I am extending my... The other morning, we woke up the morning after the Knicks-Warriors game, and I was like, oh, man, I'm so sad the Knicks lost that game. And Lehman was like, get over it. I was like, oh, jeez.
Exactly.
You just got to be miserable together. The Knicks...
I mean, it's been several months. Chris, play the music. Because... The end of last season... I didn't do one for every race. I was, you know, saving it for the exciting ones. And this past weekend, Dan, Formula One was back and it was exciting. And we are starting the season down under at the Australian Grand Prix. To catch you up, Lewis Hamilton is at Ferrari. Now Carlos Sainz is at Williams.
No one knows what a rookie driver is. And Max Verstappen is still the defending champion. It's yucky in Melbourne. And here we go. Oh, no. Before it lights out, Isaac Hajar has crashed his racing balloon to the wall in the formation lap. Oh, so sad. So embarrassing. After a delay, the race can finally begin. Lando Norris keeps his lead on the first lap.
But Max Verstappen is right behind him in second place. But oh, no. Another safety car jacked to him. Alpine is into the wall. Just six turns into the race. Carlos Sainz is also out as well. It was Williams' debut. Verstappen can't keep up with Norris' blistering speed, and Piastri is in hot pursuit. Charles Leclerc is full of water.
It must be from all the water, but the slippery track is taking out everyone. Verstappen has the race lead, but it's another safety car. A small American man with an unshaven beard has wandered onto the track in Australia. He's muttering under his breath about NFL free agency, and the marshals can't get him to come home. Stu Gatz, come home.
Lando Norris has won his first Australian Grand Prix, and Bern Maylander is the driver of the day.
He was wandering around on the track at the F1 race, Dan.
I wish I had that job.
Baby Lando did. And the McLaren looks really good. Although the race was slippery. Now I'm getting more than a minute. The race was slippery. So we'll see what track conditions are like, you know, next weekend. Yeah. But they looked really fast. He drove really, really well. They made the right strategy calls. It was a good day.
Yeah.
I sure did. Verstappen's still in the mix, though. We'll see how, you know. But the McLaren looks good for the first weekend. Ferrari, not so much.
Did he get in trouble? Are you allowed to do this? If this were Miami, he would have been suspended, right?
It's college sports. The final reason to get you in trouble.
It was a line drive. You know what I mean?
A little baseball humor.
I saw that the Pistons coach, not... Bickerstaff. not who Shaq thought it was, was... I can't even remember which coach he thought it was. Chauncey Billups. Chauncey Billups, thank you. Not Chauncey Billups. Was very upset and was saying that the refereeing was very unfair, and I was curious if there was anything to that because I didn't watch the game.
I mean, I was interested. I also am interested in the effect these green St. Patrick's Day goggles are giving me right now. This is what fish in the Chicago River must feel like on Saturday morning.
Get your own bit. Put your hat on. Put your hat on.
Give me something. Chris, I literally just filled out my first women's NCAA tournament bracket. All ones and twos? Yeah, I mean. Got to find your three or four, though.
Yeah, but I don't know. It's usually chalky. Except LSU. I mean, they were a three seed when they won, weren't they? Yeah. It was only like two years ago.
Come on. I have a final four right now that is so chalk. I have UConn upsetting USC in the Elite Eight and making the final four. But then I have UCLA, South Carolina, and Texas. I'm like, I don't feel good about this.
I don't even like South Carolina like this much. But I just don't see them losing to North Carolina or Duke or...
Also, I mean, so like, yeah, last year when I filled out my women's NCAA tournament bracket, I was like, if I go all chalk, I'm going to win this thing. No, I don't. I lost by a million points. Like there are people that are very good at getting these first round games right, like the eights and nines and everything. It's not me. OK, it's really it's not me.
I even I even have Notre Dame losing the second round here, which would be a huge upset to Michigan. I believe. Why'd you do that?
Because I said last night, they've really petered out at the end of the season.
They do have a good freshman, a big, but so does Notre Dame, so it's not a size thing. It's Notre Dame just petering out, and this is me protecting my emotional hedging right now.
That's this one.
I wish the bracket makers went with their hearts and were cognizant of the fact that we could have a UCLA-USC rematch in the Final Four and a South Carolina-Texas rematch, which is literally like what we just did last weekend. If all the one seeds make it, that would be so annoying. Why did they do that? Flip them around.
I love cats, but I don't have one.
Well, it was a cat.
All cats are assholes though. They're jerks.
No, they're all assholes. That's like a feature, not a bug.
This is one of your weird gender blind spots, Dan. First of all, you shouldn't call women anything. But also, you can call them asshole. Just never have.
Do you consider them yours?
Are you like, get your cat out of here?
I think you just answered your question.
If they were children, would you love them?
I think that Lee and I are equally dead inside, which is why it kind of works.
Yeah, you should get a cat.
I was going to say the same thing. Yes, I think Lee and I both, we love Willow dearly to death, but she really, really likes Lee.
Wait, Roma likes Cynthia more?
Opposite for us though. You're the disciplinarian. Because Lehman's the disciplinarian and she really respects him. She does not respect me at all because I let her do whatever she wants.
Although, Billy, we adopted Willow and then I moved to Miami like six months later and Lee and Willow stayed in New York for like a year and a half because of work. So we were me and Willow were long distance for about a year. And I think she really resents me for it. We've never gotten over that hurdle.
That's the thing. Not all cats like that.
Like Chris was describing about like, you know, seeing the cat and just being like sup and then walking away.
Yeah, that's cat companionship for a lot of cats.
Damn, that's cold.
Damn, that's cold.
I mean, D1 keeps growing and growing. I don't want to see expansion, but it's inevitable. But these teams are good, man. The 12 seeds, good teams.
Yeah, I'd say so. The problem is because of conference expansion, these teams are... Yes, they're all going to have 6-12 records in the SEC, but they're still better than, you know, anyone outside of the Power Five, pretty much. So it's... expansion is basically taking away your chance to be a solid team in a smaller conference.
Okay, can we talk about this? Because I've seen a lot of college basketball coaches very upset about South Carolina not upset about being the one overall seed with a tougher schedule, even though they lost to UCLA. UCLA with the overall one seed with a weaker non-conference schedule. UConn mad because Geno says there's not enough Big East teams in the tournament.
There's a lot of upset college basketball coaches who, by the way, these are all like one or two seeds we're talking about, who had pretty... South Carolina's got a pretty good setup for making the Final Four here, but what are your thoughts on all of that controversy today?
women's side peter what would you say realistic shot about eight yeah yeah and on the men's side i think you've got a real top six and then a drop off could a seven or an eight a michigan state uh a st john's win yeah but i think it the four big sec teams duke and houston and there's a drop
I was there yesterday. I'm still recovering.
That's a good point.
Play the clip. I've been to Spartanburg.
Come back, tell us about Bill Belichick CCing his girlfriend on his emails.
If I'm being honest, all I want to do today is watch more of the March Sadness submissions.
May I also just add that I don't find anything remotely... new or shocking about an older man having a hot young girlfriend.
Oh, I know for a fact that's not true.
for a long time i'm pretty sure like she yeah they seem like they really like each other she's wearing jackets i hope everyone is having a fun time it appears that they are i don't i see it and i'm like huh that's wild i i would i would have never pictured bill belichick doing this because he was mr serious all the time but then the initial sort of shock wore off and i'm like cool they're just in a relationship
I think we could actually make this more fun. Let's just go through a list of the ACC coaches, and we can say which ones we know for a fact Bill Belichick is better than as a coach. Pat Narduzzi. Let's start with the obvious there. Manny Diaz.
Klaassen retired.
Brent Prye for sure.
Really?
Is that just because they almost beat Miami?
Speaking of, Mario for sure.
I'd maybe put Dabo, because Dabo's won a couple national championships.
I'd say Dabo's probably better than Bill right now, but subject to change. All you have to do is win the ACC, Dan, and you get in the playoffs.
HBO has really, in the last five years, I would say, I mean, even the last season of Righteous Gemstones that came out over a year ago, it's been a lot of penises.
It doesn't shock me at all anymore.
There's the problem.
They weren't very good this year.
Is that why you didn't come last night? It was a bit awkward. No, I didn't come.
The players got suspended at like 1 p.m. yesterday.
I sort of used it all last night.
There was one Easter season where I had like one Reese's egg a day for like two weeks. And I don't think I've had a Reese's egg since.
Hey, guys. Hey. Hey. When's breakfast? We've been waiting. Where's our meal?
You know, that's a fair point.
Did you guys have fun last night? We had fun. Did you have fun on the show?
Oh, good question. We didn't talk about Colorado State.
Oh, you mean in terms of who could win?
Ram it down their throats.
Yes, and it's like totally tying into the era we're living in where conspiracies are taken as fact. So when Bubba Cunningham says, this is the protocol, I'm not in the room, stuff like this happens every year, you've got 50 articles coming out within five minutes. travesty, North Carolina gets in and their AD is to blame.
By the way, I feel good for, I'm happy for Jalen Withers, who I would not have wanted to be that kid and cost your team an NCAA tournament berth on a lane violation.
Yeah.
Thank you, Mike. You're not dead.
I understand. Even though TJ Watt broke the record.
Was that Castano singing? Thank you. Not good enough? Not a Christmas song. Not a Christmas song. Come on. Keep going to work. I want Scott Frosty the Snowman. Someone already did it.
It's a Springsteen version. A little more Gastineau.
He asked me for it.
That fumble was the game. They're down 17-10 and yeah, it's just a routine pitch and the game falls apart for them right there.
Wenn du sagst, es ist ein tiefer Threat, denke ich, und ich habe schon erwΓ€hnt, dass ich nicht zu diesem Thema gekommen bin, weil ich nicht weiΓ, wie viel Lucy an professionellem FuΓball kΓΌmmert, aber ich wΓΌrde denken, dass jeder, der an FuΓball kΓΌmmert,
Wenn ich ihnen alle Informationen von der Saison gebe und sie gestern vor dem Fernseher setze und sage, schaut euch das an, schaut euch an, wie Buffalo Detroit spielt. Das ist der Top-Sport. Es ist das Beste, was mΓΆglich ist. Und die einzige grΓΆΓte Γberraschung von diesem Spiel ist nicht, dass Buffalo das Spiel gewonnen hat.
Es ist wie, oh, heilige ScheiΓe, ich wusste nicht, dass jemand das zu der Detroit-Offensive-Line tun kΓΆnnte. Ich wusste nicht, dass es so etwas gibt. Ich dachte, dass Detroit das Spiel gegen die Buffalo-Defensive durchfΓΌhren kann. Und jetzt ist Ed Oliver einfach nur dein Zentrum ΓΌbergegriffen und dich im Mittelpunkt des Spiels beschΓ€digt.
Und plΓΆtzlich sieht Goff aus, als wΓΌrde er dich in den Rhythmus schieΓen. Und dann hat dieses Team einen Centaur, einen MVP, als Verteidiger. Und Buffalo kann einfach nur auf und nach dem Feld schieΓen. Auf jeden, der im Sport ist.
Es ist das, was ich in seiner Expertise sehe, was wirklich wundervoll zu sehen ist. Es sind Darts ΓΌberall zu Kincaid, und dann hast du diese rechten Enden, die den Ball mit einer Hand fangen. Und es ist, weil er weit offen ist und er ein bisschen weniger prΓ€zise ist. Wir haben eine ganze Geschichte davon, dass er den Ball ein bisschen unnachhaltig schieΓt.
Und manchmal verpasst er einen weit ΓΆffnenden Mann und du denkst dir, oh der Arm ist zu groΓ und du denkst dir, ich bin es jetzt gewohnt. Jedes verdammte Schuss ist so surgisch prΓ€zise, dass manchmal Joshs Arm zu groΓ ist und er einfach nach rechts rutscht, es 40 Meter im Feld zu einem weit ΓΆffnenden, engen Ende schieΓt und oh, er hΓ€tte es vielleicht ein Meter zu weit geschossen.
Es wird einen einhΓ€ndigen Schuss benΓΆtigen. Because they're playing a different sport than everyone else is playing. And their defensive line wrecked an offensive line that I did not think could be wrecked like that. And Detroit scored 42 anyway.
You guys haven't made fun of Mike yet for the Pop-Tart Bowl?
I just can't believe we've lived long enough for the Mahomes offense. You already can see how Kansas City wins a game against Buffalo. They keep the ball all game with Mahomes running on third and four for five yards. They do the 17-play drive. That's how you used to beat them years ago, Stugatz. Now they're the offense that needs the 17-play drive so that Josh Allen never gets on the field.
Das seltsame an dem Spiel, das Billy Whisper unter seinen Atem macht, ist, dass Tyreek Hill gewaschen wird. Und wir haben es gesehen. Wir haben es gesehen. Es war unglaublich zu sehen, was das Kansas City Offense war, als es durch Tyreek Hill ging. Und wie das Feld in einer Art und Weise schrunkert, das die physischen KΓΆrper von Travis Kelsey und Patrick Mahomes verbringt. Die Bucks. Die Bucks.
Die Bucks.
Look, I know you want to get all your takes off. And I know you weren't listening at all to what it is that Billy tried to sneak in the shadows there.
I'm actually interested, Lucy, in the TikTok addiction. You are officially so addicted that if they take this thing from you, it is a source of stimuli. They're unlike any other, right? Because it's just, it's the more aggressive addiction than any of the social medias, is it not?
No. Billy saying, I don't know what it is about Josh Allen's face, it just makes me want to smile, is a 180 degree reversal from where he was as a Dolphin fan when he was shouting and yelling, Josh Allen has a stupid face and then I want to put up billboards in Buffalo, Josh Allen has a stupid face and Billy doesn't want to do that. He befriends Josh Allen and right now the bills are gone.
das Ende des Dolphins zu zerstΓΆren. Sie haben die Division vor jedem anderen Team zerstΓΆrt und solange Josh Allen gesund ist, zerstΓΆrt er dich jedes Mal, dass er dich spielt. Und jetzt flieΓt er in diese Sache, die keine Turnovers hat, die gut geschΓΌtzt ist, die seine offensivste Linie schΓΌtzt, die No-Sacks-Sache, die No-Turnovers-Sache.
Es ist ein bisschen ein Giant fΓΌr das, wie sie FuΓball spielen.
Du bist ein Schreiner. GlΓΌckwunsch. Ja, aber danke. Was passiert ist, dass ich... Du bist nicht tot. Ich hatte es bereits vergessen. Das ist, was passiert ist. Ich werde total ehrlich sein. Total vulnerable. Hier ist mein 56. Geburtstag, als ich Γ€lter werde. Chris Cody hat mir sofort vor dem Show gesagt, bitte keine BegrΓΌΓung fΓΌr irgendeinen Grund oder sei schuldig damit.
Und aus der Box, fΓΌr irgendeinen Grund, habe ich gegrΓΌΓt. Und dann habe ich jetzt das Wort, das ich in den letzten drei Minuten gesagt habe, und ich wollte es da defekieren. Und ich wollte es sagen, aber ich wollte Fertilisierer und Fertilisierer grΓΌΓt Sachen. Und so wurde ich einfach in den Wegen, in denen ich das sagen wollte, getangelt.
Weil Billy, ich muss ehrlich sein, Stugatz ging direkt in die, ich bin hier fΓΌr meine Montagstipps, ich habe so viele von ihnen, ich habe nur eine Stunde wert auf Gott sei Dank FuΓball, aber lass mich hier rein und habe all meine Tipps hier. Und er hat nur steamerollt, Billy zu ermitteln, dass er 180 cm ist. Ich erkenne es. Ich habe ihm gesagt, das ist besser.
Let me see if I have this right. I just want to be clear. Are you telling me that what Metal Ark Media just produced with the award-winning God Bless Football was Stu Gatz and Billy 15 weeks into three months of collision saying their bodies hurt covering football because they have to keep driving into the studio to talk about football?
Jessica, Jessica, when was the Dolphin season over? We've talked, I mean, Chris, can we, can we now, I mean, I've told Billy, I told him Green Bay is a show me something game, Houston is a show me something game, beat somebody, beat somebody.
Jessica, ich denke, du hΓ€ttest recht, zu sagen, dass du und Lucy, aber alle von euch wirklich, haben ΓΌberlebt. Das unendliche Miami-Football-GesprΓ€ch, das wieder eine neue Saison beendet, mit Hier wir gehen. Schau, wir kommen nicht mal zu den kaltes Dezember-Games, dass sie dein Herz brechen, weil sie dieses Jahr nicht im Kaltes spielen kΓΆnnen.
Es ist ziemlich erstaunlich, dass wir Jahre von Ryan Tannehill und Chris Greer gelebt haben. Und das Buffalo-Team, das 17 Jahre lang ohne die Playoffs gespielt hat, ist jetzt Ruffshod ΓΌber die Liga. Weil ihr Verteidiger, den ich damals als schrecklich dachte, und sagte, er wΓ€re nie ein NFL-Verteidiger gewesen.
Because he was, again, I keep saying it because I don't think people understand how ridiculous it is. It was a playoff game against Houston. His fullback was double covered 40 yards downfield and he threw an interception. I'm like, they don't play football like that anymore. The way that you're doing it, they don't, that's James Winston. Aaron Rodgers developed a new way to play.
You do not turn the ball over. Like that's not, the Green Bay Packers have a ball meeting every week. Der ganze Sport ist umgekehrt und sagt, nicht den FuΓball verlieren. Und dann gibt es zwei Jungs, die es gestern vor der Endzone verletzt haben und drei Jungs, die es verletzt haben. Weil was wir hier sehen, ist verrΓΌckt.
Es ist so gewaltig, dass ich wieder ΓΌber DuBose schiebe, weil wir alle ΓΌberrascht sind, oder? Oder bist du weniger ΓΌberrascht, weil es nicht einer der Jungs ist, den du gehΓΆrt hast? Oh, ich war ΓΌberrascht.
Aber bevor ihr hier rein kamt, war ich auf den Charakter eines ΓΌberraschenden FuΓballfans, der zu einem Dive-Head-First im offenen Feld schaut. Denn du kannst mir nicht sagen, Billy, dass wir ihn nicht anders anschauen als jeder andere Spieler, der am Sonntag und Sonntag FuΓball spielt. Dass es keinen Spieler gibt, der FuΓball anschaut und schreit, was machst du? Schau nicht zuerst in jemanden.
Billy, da ist so eine coole Sache, die du mir gestern erinnert hast, die ich vergessen habe, weil Scott Hansen in der Mitte von allem groΓartig ist, sein Energielevel fΓΌr sieben Stunden, es ist schwer, es zu behalten. Hansons KΓΆrper muss schmerzen.
Scott Hansen hat gestern einen Anruf gemacht und er ist aufgeregt, weil er sagt, als wir nach Baltimore gehen, dass Mark Andrews den Rekord fΓΌr Ravens Touchdowns mit einem Catch hier setzen kΓΆnnte. Und dann passiert es, als er es zu dem Anruf macht.
Und so trifft er diesen Moment mit Gewissheit, dass er nur das Spiel hatte, das das Rekordbrechende Spiel war, wΓ€hrend er stoppt und zu anderen Spielen geht. But he stopped dead in his tracks while calling highlights when he was seeing for the first time the footage of somebody, a bare torso being stretchered out, immobilized.
He stopped in the frenzy of sprinting on the broadcasting treadmill of going from game to game, being excited about everything, because he's in the middle of like this torrent of American Sunday action, like dancing on piano keys broadcasting, because people are complaining on that channel, Stu Gotts, we're so addicted, I see them. A commercial snuck in there.
I saw a commercial sneak in from some other game.
I think people are just learning that though from what I can see in terms of what's happening on the internet and commentary. People like complaining about things with their broadcasts. And we've gotten to a place in streaming that we want the stuff all undistilled. You can't give people no commercials and then give them commercials. Once we get used to no commercials.
And by the way, all of this exists for the commercials. A problematic position for the streaming companies. Because they're going to need to put commercials in so that we can all afford all the things we're fighting over. They do.
Super Bowl Licks in New Orleans. I did not know that. How do we get this off the ground? I'm just noticing this for the first time. One of the Super Bowls. Super Bowl Licks. That's pretty good.
Da gibt es eine ganze Ad-Kampagne, die wir machen kΓΆnnen. Scott Hansen wurde so komfortabel gestern, dass Stugatz in dem Colts-Broncos-Spiel, was nicht in irgendeinem Sinne interessant ist, weil neither of those teams are going anywhere. Wenn du in den Playoffs kommst, wirst du nichts gewinnen. Geh diese Teams beide aus meinem Leben. Wow, ich glaube, Denver ist ziemlich gut.
Ich glaube auch, aber nicht ganz gut genug. Und gestern haben sie gewonnen, weil Jonathan Taylor, Jonathan Taylor, Jonathan Taylor, den Ball vor der Goallinie droht. Und ich bin so, du musst mich verarschen. Es gibt keinen Weg, dass das in dieser Liga noch passiert ist. There's no way that people fight this hard for the touchdowns and then can't still hold it for another half yard.
How is that possible, that Jonathan Taylor has to get to the preening? In the middle of that game, one of the things that changed is, holy shit, the Colts are doing some sort of fancy razzle-dazzle, where they throw it back to Richardson, and it's picked off. And Hansen yells, you know... Denn Nick Benito ist derjenige, der einen 6-Pick hatte.
Und er kommt in die Endzone durch die Goalline, wie Marshawn Lynch, mit seinen Ballen. Und Scott Hansen sagt, du kannst die Benitos nicht holen. Das ist ein Penalty. Das wird ein Penalty sein. Ich wusste nicht, dass die Benitos ein Penalty waren. Ist es jetzt ein Penalty?
Always, because I've seen that done at the goal line just as much as I've seen guys drop the ball at the half yard line.
So again, for history's purposes, Marshawn Lynch breaks the biggest run, the most violent run in the history of the sport. Breaks 11 tackles, runs 3 endzone, and we all agree at the point, when he dives backwards and grabs his balls, yeah, you deserve that. You should have done it. Enjoy yourself. You ran through 11 people. And since then, people have copycatted it.
I just didn't know it had become a legitimate NFL jurisdiction penalty.
Lucy, you sat out. I don't know why you did. Billy and Stugatz saying aggressively that 15 weeks into the NFL season, their bodies hurt because they've been on the couch.
I'm not going to lie. Lucy has been on planes Sie ist nicht mehr zuhause, sie fliegt viel. 16 Wochen lang.
Ich bin nicht wΓΌtend an ihr. Du bist lieb, Jessica. Bitte fortsetzen. Lucy, ich vermisse dich.
We are awaiting Billy and Stugatz who are going to bomb in from God Bless Football, getting out a lot of content early because... FuΓball gab uns so viel, was wir gestern gesprochen haben. Und ich weiΓ nicht, wie ihr euch darΓΌber fΓΌhlt, was ich jetzt sage. Aber ich bin ein bisschen beschΓ€mt, dass das GefΓΌhl, das mich gestern ΓΌberwacht hat, eine Kombination von Oh mein Gott, das ist das Coolste.
Drei Jungs haben einfach direkt einen Ball geschlagen. Sie haben einfach SchΓΌsse auf dem Feld geschlagen. Sie schlagen den Ball raus. Oh, da sind ein paar scharfe Jungs mit Touchdowns. Ist das nicht erstaunlich? Oh, und auch ein paar Jungs, die den Ball direkt vor der Goalline fallen. Sie geben einfach diese Touchdowns weg, die all diese Leute kΓ€mpfen ΓΌber, wΓ€hrend sie SchΓΌsse schlagen.
Und in der Mitte bin ich so, Tua, ruf nicht zuerst in irgendwas. Tua, stopp! It's not worth it! You're 6-7, we all see. You're not that close. That team closer than you're close. Look out, Tua! Be careful!
Tell me you didn't feel that. The announcers are doing it, everyone's doing it. He runs in the open field. And I hesitate to laugh about this because yesterday Grant DuBose has taken off the field in a stretcher and he's shirtless and he's taking his helmet off and you're horrified and then let's go out to Jacksonville where the Jets are in the red zone.
An inception of impressions. Kravitz, can you guys get me the sound of that? He does a good whiny me.
Well, we've got beef. We've got legitimate beef. So we'll get to that in a second. I just didn't want to be too publicly offended in a way that, you know.
Okay, help me there.
I need the protection. It's really funny. In the middle of all that yesterday, so I'm watching over here. Here's a 300-pound guy doing a backflip. Hier, hier ist ein Patriot. Er macht einen Fensermove, wΓ€hrend er eine Flagge an seinen Beinen schieΓt, weil er nur ein Pferd ist. Und nichts davon zΓ€hlt.
Und ich schaue, wie die violenten Giants, Aaron Rodgers, die 45-Jahre-Ruschen, sechs 45-Jahre-Kerle, den FuΓball genieΓen. Ja, genau.
Do you know how funny it is that Jason Sanders exists as a guy who only makes all the field goals, all the 50-yarders, but misses extra points in a way that makes me think of you every time because you question him, even though he's great at everything but extra points.
Billy, you can't storm in here.
Thank you, that was very good. Hold on.
I'm not good at birthdays. Successful deflection.
You understand why? Are you all good at birthdays? You all walk right into your birthdays and are just like, shower me?
Ein wundervoller, mordvoller, dunkler Humor. Nicht noch, ich bin es nicht. Du hast mich noch nicht getΓΆtet, indem du das singst, anstatt Happy Birthday, wie du es sollten hast. War da etwas geplant fΓΌr mich? Weil ich hier ein bisschen spΓ€t war, und ich habe es durchgegangen und ich habe Louis durchgezogen, Happy Birthday. Und ich dachte, vielleicht habe ich verpasst, was es sein sollte.
Billy, you cannot just storm in here after God bless football when Tyreek Hill is washed under your breath. He didn't say that.
Was hattet ihr bei God Bless Football? Wartet ihr das? Habt ihr Tyreek Hill verurteilt? Denn niemand hat das gemacht. Niemand ist noch nicht in den Dolphin-Football-Tropf gekommen und so sehr auf diese Saison verabschiedet ist, dass Tyreek Hill verurteilt ist und die Journalisten schreiben, dass Chris Greer gefeuert wird. Das ist nicht etwas, was...
Warte mal, ich habe das in unserem Markt noch nie gesehen. In unserem Markt, in den Berichten, sagen die Leute, der Typ, der die Dolphinen fΓ€hrt. Ich weiΓ, das ist normal fΓΌr den Tag, und alle machen das in der Sportradio, und wir haben das normal gemacht auf der TV.
Aber die Berichte der lokalen Berichterstattungen, die sagen, der Typ, der die Dolphinen fΓ€hrt, sind alle schreiend, das alles aufzulΓΆsen.
I don't want to talk about the dolphins. I want you guys, if you'd like, to run me off of the dolphins, you may, because there is plenty that I do want to talk about from yesterday. I did not know that the eye gouge could be so successful that Miles Garrett would react like that. Where I was thinking that his eyeball was on the field like on the movie Any Given Sunday.
If you tell me that that is how Miles Garrett reacts to pain when I know he's probably pretty perpetually in pain. So if that guy's in that kind of pain, what the hell does that kind of eye gouge feel like? Flop.
I do not believe he was faking it. How can you call Miles Garrett a flopping faker? How can you do that with a straight face?
You did say that. I said happy birthday. It's the only thing he said. You continue to say things, creaming in here from God bless football, after doing we good. Ich weiΓ nicht, ob du irgendein Spiel mit Jameis Winston ΓΌberstehen kannst, denn es ist einfach so toll, dass er jedes Mal das schlappste Spiel macht.
Stop the term for that. Sticked? What is the verb?
Und warum wΓΌrdest du das nochmals, Jameis, in die Endzone fΓΌr ein Interzeption machen, wenn wir das Spiel aus dem FuΓball erweitert haben? Jeder weiΓ, um dort einen Field Goal zu bekommen. Wir sind jetzt ΓΌberrascht von allen Red Zone Turnovers und Jameis ist einfach so, nein, ich werde spielen, wie ich es vor vier Jahren gemacht habe.
Ich habe nichts gelernt von 30 Touchdowns, 30 Interceptions, 5.000 Yards. Wir sind 7-9 gegangen. Sie haben mich mit Tom Brady gewechselt. Sie haben sofort den Superbowl gewonnen. Es wird ein hartes, hartes Knacken fΓΌr Jameis am Dienstagabend.
Es hat fΓΌr drei Monate gedauert.
You know what, Jessica, I am here for you being commissioner of that character. because I will tell you something. When she says when a season is actually over, I want to, as we now bury this dolphin season, I would, although they're still in the mix. They are. Cold schedule is easy down the road.
Das ist richtig. Ja, Tyreek Hill kΓΆnnte gewaschen werden. Es gibt 14 Spiele in den Blow It All Up. They are six and eight. And we have just lived over the last two months, as soon as Tua got hurt, ah, season's over, ah, oh, beat the Rams, Rams are pretty good, ah, ah, we're gonna get close in there, we're gonna be close to 500.
If Jessica wants to announce when the season's over, this is what I want to ask her. I'm watching the Giants yesterday and I'm like, seriously? Boyle? Really? Tim Boyle? I said the same thing. No, no, but wait, wait, wait. Well, DeVito got hurt. No, yes, we're in the portion of the proceedings of Giants football where they don't just bail on Daniel Jones, but that's right. That's right.
I've never heard that. Can you guys tell me how you would start the show if you were me? I don't know where to start.
Well, DeVito got hurt is where we are in the season. And so now Boyle's in the game. When was their season over? When was the Giants' season over?
Put it on the pole. Did Drew Locke have a Thanksgiving?
Jessica did not know what to do with your genuine enthusiasm about being able to spit. Drew Locke had a Thanksgiving. It was three weeks ago. It's... The fact that Billy just careened into you there, Jessica, with genuine enthusiasm, wanting to talk Thanksgiving Drew Locke football. I appreciate why it is that would knock you off kilter.
It's just so weird that there all of a sudden Billy cares deeply about football.
That's a Thanksgiving. Let's not pretend Drew Locke didn't have a Thanksgiving.
Jessica, I would be understanding if a Steeler fan came to me today and said, one game on the road, those are tough, we are still as good as Philadelphia. But that game right there is why I think Pittsburgh is not a real thing.
He looks good. No, he doesn't. He looks terrible.
And then afterwards, he just admits, oh, first hole, nervous. What other sports do you get that, where it's just he double bogeys the first hole, and it's just clear that this all-time great athlete is just nervous. And then he overcomes it, goes on a stretch, gets the lead, and then on 13, double bogeys, hits it in the water,
I can't remember in any golf round, usually in golf, you're either hot for a whole round, like the back and forth of choking, getting hot, choking again, getting hot was just... And I admit, I went into this, I was rooting against Rory. Just because I've always kind of... been indifferent on Rory. And I think that the storyline of him needing a Masters was really all golf has at the moment.
So I was like almost nervous for golf, almost rooting for the storyline to continue. But you see the emotion and I flipped. I was like happy for him. Like Mike said, nobody's watching that. Even if you're rooting against Rory, you get how long he's been. 11 chances to get the fourth major. And every other golfer that has five, all the majors, has done it in three chances or less.
Eleven tries it took him. Just brutal.
Not like, not in a way, not like anti. I don't dislike Rory. I just wanted to see.
Bryson? I had money on Oberg.
Really? No. Bryson has kind of done work to corporate cleanser. His, his image has flipped a little bit. Like I know that he still has the live stuff, but Bryson with his YouTube channel, I feel like, you know, the high fives, it was funny Bryson. Cause he is riding the, Hey, I'll talk to fans. Cause Rory famously doesn't even look at fans.
So Bryson was very excited with the high fiving fans until he went in until he went six over the first four holes. And you could see him just being like, Oh, I still got to do this high five thing, even though I'm,
I would have thought that if it was Bryson versus Rory, I think Rory's head is in a different place. I think the fact that it was Justin Rose, he's friends with Justin Rose. I actually think that helped Rory. I feel like if it was somebody like Bryson, then we might have seen Rory get in his head again.
I'm seeing that it's British slang from around 1900 evolving from the phrase like fed up to the back teeth. So that's not helpful. So I'll keep reading.
I'm looking right in the mirror for sure. Not fed to my back teeth, though.
Can we shout out the camera guy walking backwards with Rory through this? Because I'm telling you, there's a lot of hills. This is not an easy walk to walk backwards.
We keep the bacon industry going around here. No one eats bacon like this place.
So now what? Now it's time to get the crew together. You keep the fandom energy going. It doesn't stop when the Super Bowl is gone. We gather. Exactly.
You've heard it all season long. Football is not a solo thing. This is not a me thing. This is not an I thing. This is a we thing.
And listen, if you're going to sip something while plotting your team's comeback, Smirnoff's got you. It's the perfect vodka for crafting cocktails that are easy and tasty for anyone 21 and up.
I'm just picturing it. What am I here for? For costumes? What's happening with this?
I'm skeptical of Tony because he came in. Now I get it. I get it with the Masters. I'm interested to hear his take because it feels like there's going to be a pinch of sarcasm in it.
And then they're putting it like essentially like a netting to like a wiring that like will keep it pushed back essentially.
Move your all-access mask.
Yeah. I've never seen that. Let the camera zoom in on it. Like, stay still, Dad. There you go. All right. There it is, Doctor.
What's your assessment?
By the way, when the Dirty Bubble got Jim Harbaugh, it was over for the Chargers after that. I mean, that was it. Great broadcast. But we can't let them be so good that they're now getting primetime billing. We just can't let that happen.
The last five games of the Steelers season, including the postseason, were about as bad of a stretch on both sides that I've seen from the Steelers in a really long time. So even though the record is the same and the first round playoff exit is the same as a lot of years, it wasn't. this has been a pretty bad collapse. And I will say, the schedule did them no favors.
They had to play three really, really tough games in a short window. But regardless, I don't think that's your excuse. I think, like Mike said, you've got really bad injury luck in a couple key positions, and then some of your best players just not producing down the stretch. Yeah.
Already a really tough offense to produce with a wide receiver that's hurt and also in it sometimes and not in it sometimes. Just a bad, bad stretch of football.
No. First of all, I think the Tomlin conversation that everyone's going to have today, I don't think he's going anywhere, so I think it's just a waste of time to have that conversation again. But they're probably going to re-sign Russ and just not give him a ton of money is my guess. Aaron?
That's how they want to do it.
Wait, Billy, this is like the challenge, but like even more military focused, right?
So it was a challenge. Yeah, I guess.
You don't think Bananas is a celebrity?
It's not a joking matter.
It was children, wasn't it?
Did you listen to the Behind the Bastards episode on it, too?
I'm still afraid of ceiling fans.
If you think about it, the left tackle is also the right tackle.
Ohio State didn't either this year.
Okay, full disclosure, the Bears are not one of my teams. It's like a bit I've been doing for like seven years, and I hate the Bears. It's a good bet. He just signed a huge extension at Notre Dame. I think he'd be stupid not to take an interview, but I would be surprised if he left. I think he does like college.
But back to Mike's point about what the Final Four would have been without the 12-team playoff this year, I've seen a lot of... takes that like these two teams wouldn't have even made the playoffs. So it's like devaluing the playoff system, like devalues conference championship games, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I think it's fairly shouldn't be controversial to say that the top four of this final playoff ranking would not have been the top four if there was a 14 playoff. The playoff committee changed the way they address conference championship games this year because of the bye weeks in the 12-team playoff.
So while the final ranking, I think it was Oregon, Georgia, Texas, Penn State, they were the top four. They were also the four teams that played in the SEC and Big Ten championship games. I don't think that would have been the final four if we didn't have 12 teams. And it's up for debate who the four would have been. Obviously, Oregon would have been in there and Georgia would have been in there.
But I could have seen Texas-Notre Dame be the other two. I could have seen maybe you make a case for Penn State. I just don't think they would have picked the four teams that we just saw play on conference championship weekend in the playoff. And so I've seen that take a lot and I just don't necessarily agree with it.
huge stinker in their last week I don't think you can account for that when you're seeding a tournament that the best team in the country with the best roster in the country can't beat their rival in the last week of the regular season like that's a bad loss that's a bad loss but I also think Ohio State Notre Dame they had the two toughest draws in the playoff Notre Dame had to play against the SEC champion they won then they had to play against the Big Ten runner-up they won now they get to play in the championship and they also had to play Indiana obviously which was a blowout
Ohio State had to avenge their loss against Oregon. They had to beat a top three SEC team, and then they had to beat Texas, which was the SEC runner-up.
But they were totally outclassed.
Yeah, but this bit started before I started working here. This is a bit that started the double doink season when the Bears were actually good. So this predates me being on the show. I feel like I should be allowed. This is a me bit, not a show bit.
I'm just sick of people texting me Bear stuff, honestly. This is for my personal peace. You did it to yourself. I did, and I'm a Steelers fan. It was a tough weekend for me. I'm not a Bears fan. The Bears stink.
I mean, honestly, that might not be the worst.
No, that's real. I have one NFL team, guys.
Notre Dame's real. I graduated from Notre Dame. I went to Clemson for one year.
But I don't really root for Clemson that much anymore.
Do you use your TiVo?
What does it do these days? Yeah.
Dan, to your credit, I found that people that have TiVo are extremely loyal to TiVo. They're TiVo lifers. And I'm with you. On YouTube TV, I try to pause and rewind and go back and rewatch plays. It's terrible. It just never works.
Can we talk about the dicker play?
I was going to say, they lost their best playmaker the last week of the season, so not a great play.
I've been wearing the same outfit since Friday, too.
No!
I have to say, we should all be rooting against Houston just in general. Because we can't let them not have the Saturday afternoon playoff window going forward. That was the perfect way to ease myself into the weekend. I was like, oh, thank God. Houston's on. This is a great little appetizer. I watched the Nickelodeon broadcast.
The whole world knew they weren't gonna, like, there was no play drawn. They... The whole world knew.
I didn't know you were coming on the show today, Dominique. I was just texting you because I was listening to your podcast.
Tell Charlie to suck it.
Ich sage es, Lucy, es ist Dan's Fault. Es ist Dan's Fault. Er war zu hart fΓΌr Colorado letztes Jahr, als sie nicht so gut waren. Sie sind dieses Jahr besser geworden, aber auch die Big 12 als Konferenz ist viel mehr even als die Pac-12 letztes Jahr. Also, obwohl sie nicht so viel Rundspiel haben, kΓΆnnen sie ihre Defense nicht so gut stoppen. Sie sind...
They're in it because the Big 12 is just a very strange conference this year. Their schedule coming up is tricky. They're going to have to go on the road at Kansas, which is going to be tough for them. But this is Dan's fault because we took up all the oxygen with Colorado Talk last year and now no one has the appetite for it. So this is just because of you.
They were 3-0. That's why it started. But their team wasn't as good as it is this year. So then when they went on their losing streak... Wir waren alle so, was zur HΓΆlle? Ihr habt gesagt, dass dieses Team groΓartig war. Und sie waren lustig zu sehen. Ich sage nicht, dass ich das negiere, aber sie haben letztes Jahr gewonnen.
There's a lot of stuff going on.
Whatever someone will pay for it.
Ja, Selfies.
The story is he's rich.
Das wird nie eine Signatur-Win sein.
Ihr respektiert Ashton Genty nicht genug. Das ist alles, was ich sagen muss.
Er hat eine verrΓΌckte Statistik. Er hat etwa 8 Yards per Carry gegen Stackboxes. Er ist unglaublich. Er ist so gut. Und er hat die ganze Zeit ΓΌber Oregon gewonnen, ΓΌbrigens. Die Mannschaft, die alle sagen, sie ist wahrscheinlich die beste Mannschaft. Sie ist wahrscheinlich die am meisten dominante Mannschaft. Er hatte drei Touchdowns und 200 Yards gegen sie, vor der Saison.
Und sie haben drei Punkte verloren.
Ich hΓΆre den Show, ich hΓΆre den Show auf dem Weg in die Arbeit heute Morgen. Ich weiΓ, was Dominique denkt und ich weiΓ, was Bill von den Stealern denkt. Und weiΓt du was, das ist okay. Niemand muss in die Stealers glauben. Ich habe einen tollen Zeitraum.
Es sind seit sieben Sonntagen dieses Jahr, wo ich in meinem kleinen Bett schlafen gehe, happy watching Mike Tomlin Pressekonferenzen, wo er sagt, dass er ein Degenerat ist. Und weiΓt du was, das ist alles, was ich brauche, um mich durch diesen langen, kΓΌhlen Winter zu unterstΓΌtzen, Dan.
They have those in Boston.
You can spot a woman faking it.
Blue Sky hatte einen Moment dieses Wochenende, ich werde nicht lΓΌgen.
Ich denke, ich kΓΆnnte meine Bears-Takes spΓ€ter diese Woche, als wir einen Sieg-Lap machen werden, abschlieΓen, weil das jetzt mein korrektestes Take sein kΓΆnnte. Wenn die Bears mit einem weiteren Sieg als letztes Jahr am Ende sind, dann wΓ€re das ein riesiger Erfolg. Mittlerweile hat jeder gesagt, dass sie die Playoffs machen werden.
Das ist die beste Situation, in der ein Rookie-Quarterback je gewesen ist. Und sie werden groΓartig sein. Ich denke, es sind die Bears. That's the only analysis you need.
Vielleicht ist das der Grund.
We have and I have. Okay. I 100% believe you. I don't think that the situation is that... Caleb Williams sollte von den Fans oder der Franchise verabschiedet werden. Ich denke, die Situation ist so, dass ich denke, viele Leute haben ΓΌberlegt, wie schlimm die O-Line-Situation und die Trainingssituation in der Saison gekommen sind.
Ich meine, ich habe seit letztem Jahr gesagt, ich weiΓ nicht, warum sie mit Eber Flusse verabschiedet wurden, als es so aussah, dass die Saison beendet wurde. Sie waren ziemlich lukewarm ΓΌber ihn. Und es wΓ€re wahrscheinlich ein guter Zeitpunkt, einen neuen Head Coach zu bringen, wenn du Justin Fields verteidigst. So you can get Caleb Williams, who's supposedly going to change your franchise.
Those are two fairly big things that the Bears don't have going for them right now. And to be like, well, it's just the head coach and the offensive coordinator and the offensive line. Yeah, those are some pretty big things working against a rookie quarterback who hasn't gotten better throughout the season. And you can knock him for that. But I don't think that he's just a lost cause.
I think the Bears need to, as an organization, need to seriously make some changes.
Sorry, I saw a lingering cough from last week.
Yeah, I didn't choose Inter-Miami. Women don't have choices in Florida.
Es hat mich traurig gemacht. Es hat mich schlecht gefΓΌhlt. Todd Blackledge hat am Ende des Spiels Notre Dame gefeuert, dass sie weiterhin den Ball fahren und den Ball im vierten Quartier schieΓen und dann schieΓen. Und ich glaube nicht, dass Todd Blackledge bemerkt hat, dass Notre Dame alle ihre Backups hatte.
Seine Backup-Querterback, Walk-on-Wide-Receivers und Florida State konnte sie noch nicht stoppen.
And then you get mad at me? This is ridiculous. You need 60% in this state, I guess. No matter if most people want something.
Kuda hat 1995 geΓΆffnet, laut ihrem Instagram.
Das Anruf auf der vierten HΓ€lfte, was hast du da gedacht?
By the way, while we're on the topic, Kudas, they know how to be spooky. Very spooky around Halloween season. They had some nice inflatable spiders in their trees around the picnic tables. Very spooky establishment. I'm a big fan.
Aber ich dachte, dass das Virginia-Pitt-Ding etwas schlimmer war, weil die ErklΓ€rung von den Reften war einfach... Ich hatte es auf Mute, aber von wo ich saΓ, war es eine schlechte Verletzung.
Dan Campbell, Lucy can attest. That coffee diet, it's not pleasant.
Annoying. They're just annoying, Dan. They're so annoying, I found myself thinking in my head yesterday, as the Broncos were lining up to kick the game-winning field goal, well, I'm really happy for Sean Payton.
It's not a company one.
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Oh, danke, dass du gefragt hast, Juju. Ich freue mich wirklich darauf. Ich denke, ich bin mit Mike dabei, weil ich denke, ich brauche das nicht jetzt. Einige Sachen sind einfach dumm. Ich fΓΌhle mich ein bisschen schlecht fΓΌr Bronny, weil er nichts dazu gefragt hat.
Aber ich sagte das heute Morgen und dann haben alle an mich geschrien, weil ich versucht habe, ein bisschen Empathie fΓΌr Bronny zu zeigen.
Oh, das ist gut. VerstΓ€ndlich. Es wΓ€re einfach schwer, der Sohn des berΓΌhmtesten Basketballspielers aller Zeiten zu sein. Gleichzeitig ist er ein MillionΓ€r, also ist das nicht so schwer. Zumindest hast du die finanzielle Sicherheit fΓΌr den Rest deines Lebens. Ich weiΓ nicht, ich sehe viele Seiten davon, aber ich fΓΌhle mich eher schlecht, dass er in der Mitte ist.
Ich wΓΌrde auch sagen, Greg, ich denke, dass wenn du jemand bist, der ein College-Basketballspieler ist, bist du wahrscheinlich bewusst, besonders wenn dein Vater LeBron James ist, bist du bewusst, wie es ist, in den Medien stΓ€ndig gesprochen zu werden. Aber dann, wenn du es tatsΓ€chlich erlebst und die NegativitΓ€t davon fΓΌhlst, ist es wahrscheinlich viel schlimmer, als du erwartest.
Ich weiΓ nicht, Chris kann wahrscheinlich ein bisschen zu diesem Thema sprechen.
Five minutes ago, if you were like, I'm going to take all of your money unless you tell me right now who Shrek is, I'd be like, Jim!
By the way, Shrek is like the mash of Gen Z, Greg.
We should do a beach race. Yeah, beach race. Beach race.
Who was the most upset with their ranking?
You mentioned only those two. Unbelievable, really. Unimaginable, right?
Isn't it like 9.2? Why is that ringing a bell?
Because if you're taking like five steps at a time, it's not the same as going for a mile walk.
But do you ever do a full circle?
You take one step to the lane and one step back to the chair where you drink a beer and eat pizza.
Chris, you completely changed your mind about whose side you were on midway through the last two minutes.
What about your golf shoes? Do you change in and out of those?
Or a bowl.
If a game breaks out.
Nap day. Nap day.
Cheeto Zard. An unnamed buyer purchased it. I think it was Darren Revell.
Well, you should.
Well, there was another Cheeto that went for sale on auction that looked like Harambe in 2017. That one got sold for, I think, almost $100,000. How is that possible? How is that something that people are doing and that cannot be?
If you don't even know what Charizard is, how are you going to go through your bag of Cheetos and find one, Greg?
What?
Does anyone have any weld?
Wait, I didn't even know there were regular Cheetos. I thought they only came in hot.
Or we need a seahorse that looks like Jesus Christ.
So given all of that, is there any chance Cooper Flagg comes back next season at Duke?
But the Wizards have the number one pick. Come on.
I'm a father of a daughter, but she's a dog. And also, I'm a mother of her.
Then I'll wait until the next segment.
The gambit was dads. You said when the show started, you want to hear from all the dads, which is literally everyone except me. So I'm going to wait until that's no longer.
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
What is that, man? No, I think they're saying he's a big deal. I actually agree with that. If the Super Bowl is in Atlanta, Billy goes as Cartersville Day Billy Gill, but he's not singing the opening song. That's all I said.
So homemade granola, really a game changer. You melt some brown sugar with some maple syrup and like an olive oil. And then you sprinkle on the oats and some nuts and some coconuts and some dried fruit and you warm it up in the oven. Oh, delicious.
The shots were just... I'm not a snitch. The shots, I think, were us just saying, if it's not covered, like...
No, it was Fritzie.
What a day for me. Three for three. Big winner.
No, that's ridiculous.
Enough with Malort farts, Mike. He's just been saying it nonstop for like three hours.
Might have called him a sexist earlier.
You know how this works. Hats off! Can't you do tip of the cap with just touching the tip? You can, yeah.
She's so cute. She's baby. She's like nine-ish. She's a rescue. We have matching hair.
Pistachio. Stop doing that.
Finally, we got to the racism.
I just like the lane of salty Dolphins fan who's like, Fang sucks. He's still bad.
I mean, hire one woman.
It can be me. We could start a bidding war.
Chris was on a roll last week while you were out. You missed it. It was good. Right, Chris?
I'm pretty confident it would be the Eagles. But I like this college football brain take of yours. The Bengals are like an SEC team, I guess.
The Eagles won 37-17 when they played each other earlier this year.
Mahomes is still on track.
Goat.
He got the line wrong. So I guess we do need another one.
So Brady, Jordan, Mahomes, LeBron.
He also played really well in the first Super Bowl that they lost.
Sellout.
Really good.
Grazing is polite.
It's like a shovel, a hand shovel.
They also made fun of us and said that we talk over you all the time.
Yeah, they're all men.
Talk about Mike's watch is what I think he wants you to do. What's your flex? He wants you to ask about his watch.
It was an ugly watch.
Yeah, he won an MTV Movie Award.
Yeah.
Hold on. Who's making more of a statement? Tom Brady, who has the expensive watch and wears it, or Dan, who has the expensive watches and doesn't wear them, but tells us he has the expensive watches? Because he feels bad about it. Yeah.
Gets paid in pizza.
People don't understand. They think being nice to a rich person is going to benefit them in some way. We don't know who gave Tom Brady these watches for free. And it probably cost them a lot. They just had to eat that cost to be friends with Tom Brady. Tom Brady doesn't even remember their name or mention it ever.
We'd be singing from the mountaintops.
He's auctioning them?
I don't like that. And there was at least one. Put it in a UNICEF box. You know what I mean? What does he need to auction a watch off for if you're Tom Brady? You've got enough.
Wow.
Dan? We'll figure out the bit later.
You're with me. We don't know what. You're playing nice.
I mean... I'm looking at these... Brady watches. What a racket this guy has, huh? So like it says pre-sale estimate like $5,000 to $10,000 for this watch. Final sale price, $42,000. So everything just gets that it was on Tom Brady's wrist maybe at one point in time price. Comfortably good, by the way, Dan. Thanks for asking.
This is like that episode of Seinfeld where they're going around like this was John Voight's car and it was another John Voight. Jabba Chamberlain used to tell us that like when he was on Goblet School, Jabba Chamberlain would tell us like that the baseball players had like a racket where they'd get like the car like lease for free for like a year or two and then just sign the dashboard.
at the end of like their lease and then yeah and then the dealer would go off an auction like this was aaron judge's car look it's autographed by him and they'd pay way more than whatever the leasing option was that they were getting it for free you mentioned that because david sampson spent money on bono's sunglasses and i'm hoping that there was like an arab in accounting and it's actually steve bono or chaz i realize okay
Ushered to bed.
Why did you say it like that?
One of the Super Mario Brothers.
Yeah, but without Jay-Z making that deal, you wouldn't have had Kendrick yesterday. And you wouldn't have had the halftime show in L.A. a couple years ago. You wouldn't have had Rihanna a couple years ago. Would we have had Maroon 5? Probably. We would have had Maroon 5, more than likely.
Well, and it's strange to say in a game where you give up 40 points, but that was not on Spaggs.
No, exactly. The field position battle was ridiculous. Patrick Mahomes was giving them the ball on the five-yard line. All they had to do was rush it in to score. So Spaggs didn't have a bad game, even though the Eagles scored 40 points.
There's also field goals left and right.
Bought a lot of carpet, I can tell that.
I have not seen this.
We can ask him when he shows up.
Taylor.
I am confused, though, why it is that Billy thinks that a plane coming out of Chicago after the Super Bowl is going to smell any better than a plane coming out of any other city.
I mean, isn't Liam Neeson? All right, who makes the same movie over and over more? Liam Neeson?
Or Meg Ryan.
Yes, thank you.
Wie ein KrΓΌmmel-Pie. KrΓΌmmel-Pie.
Warum? Weil du humble bist. Aber du isst humble Pie. Nein, aber die Pie kann nur humble sein. Das ist ein Pie, das humble ist.
Jess, ich habe eine Frage fΓΌr dich in Bezug auf diese Match-Ups. Du hast es nicht genug besprochen. Die Takes sind fliegend, Joel Clyde sagt, dass der Weg einfach ist. Ich lasse es dir, ich bin interessiert in deinem Take.
Eines der Dinge, die mich an diesem Thema interessiert, ist, dass jeder zu diesen Takes denkt, dass sie eigentlich wissen, was passieren wird, was mich in einem Jahr, der etwas unvergesslicher ist, schreckt. Was denkst du, dass der beste Spiel der ersten Runde sein wird? Und glaubst du, dass es so eine Sache gibt, dass der Weg einfach ist?
Du hast USF, Western Kentucky und Mercer ausgedruckt. Mercer! Mercer ist immer lustig. Schedules, out of conference schedules are a difficult thing because they're scheduled several years in advance, right? Like Miami actually schedules in the last 10 years. They've scheduled Bama, they've scheduled LSU, they've gone to College Station, they played Texas A&M at home, they've gone to the Swamp.
I don't think he wants to be seen as any of those three things. You think blacklisted for having kooky theories is what's going to keep him out of the league?
Does it work out? Sometimes you're playing the greatest team of all time, sometimes you're playing a... Texas A&M in a down year, but it buys them nothing, that ambition, because at the end of the day, the CFP is going to go from, oh, you play who's in front of you, we're not going to hold that against you, to actually ranking these teams and boosting their own arguments.
Like Miami doesn't have a ranked win, we're being told that by the committee that's doing the ranking, that has done something pretty unprecedented, taking a Power 4 team in Duke that has nine wins and not ranking them. Flatly doesn't happen. It's happened twice in like 15 years.
I understand the argument that Miami could have been.
Sie kamen wirklich zu vier Punkten. Es gibt diese drei Teams, die in der Mischung stehen. FΓΌr die dritte, vierte Saison war auch Pitt in der Mischung. Es war frustrierend als Miami-Fan, dass man keine gemeinsamen Gegner zwischen diesen Konferenzteams hat. Ich habe keine MΓΆglichkeit, es euch zu zeigen. Zum Beispiel hat SMU sechs der niedrigsten Teams in der ACC gewonnen.
obviously plays a factor in their appearance in Charlotte. Now, Miami just doesn't do what it has to do to get in there, but it's a little frustrating that we put together all these massive conferences and already in year one, we see how someone can game the system, how someone can be fortunate. If Texas doesn't make it to the SEC Championship game, you can hold that resume up under a microscope.
Indiana is playing Notre Dame and I'm curious your thoughts on that game because it could be an interesting one. weil sie drei Teams mit gewonnenen Rekorden durch die ganze Saison gespielt haben, in einer dieser Megakonferenzen, in der man sich das gar nicht vorstellen konnte.
Ich denke, wir haben ein groΓes Problem damit, zu entscheiden, wer wirklich das beste Team in diesen Konferenzen ist, wenn wir Situationen haben, in denen du vier Teams in der Mischung hast, die nicht mal eine andere spielen.
Es gibt einen Clip, wo Ward sagt, er wird in der Pop-Tart-Bowl spielen.
Damian Martinez hat es bereits erklΓ€rt, dass er spielen wird.
They were up 14 with 5 minutes left and Georgia got all the calls. This is infuriating. We saw it.
We saw them play. Dude, you don't know. Gestern hast du auf der BΓΌhne gefragt, dass Boise State niemanden gespielt hat. Ich wΓΌrde gerne sehen, dass sie Georgia und Alabama spielen. Nein, nein, nein. Sie waren in einem Touchdown von Oregon gegen Eugene?
Das ist enttΓ€uschend. Du kannst nicht argumentieren, was du sehen willst.
Their top two quarterbacks were out for like three games.
Pro Football Focus loves that dude's passing numbers.
But they were missing two of their quarterbacks for like three of the games. The point is to win the games. They lost five of them. Well, no, the point is not to win the games. Otherwise Miami would be in the goddamn college football playoff.
You're trapping me. He's stating the obvious and that's why there's this whole bias because of the investment.
What have we not gotten to? Oh, there was a Soto thing? I thought he was talking SEC TV deal.
Now is a good time to remember where Tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented Tequila. Cuervo. What are you doing here?
Es ist ein interessanter Blick, wenn Georgia Tech den SES-Champion zu acht Wettbewerben nimmt. Ich war sehr interessiert, ob Georgia das Spiel verloren hat, Jess, als wir den Jordan-Travis-PrΓ€sidenten erΓΆffneten. Carson Beck Status. If Georgia loses that game by a wide margin, do you think the CFP applies the Jordan Travis logic and keeps Georgia out? Or is that just exclusive to screwing the ACC?
I mean, they won an ACC championship there, right?
The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo.com. Please drink responsibly. Cuervo.
It's just awfully convenient that it's always a different situation for one conference. You try to apply the same logic and the goalposts keep moving for whatever reason when it comes to the SEC. The ESPN Media Machine and all the CFP partners were basically laying the foundation to screw SMU out of this.
SMU battles, loses on the last second 56-yard field goal, and that's the way that the committee... That's ridiculous though.
All these reasons are ridiculous. We're parsing. These teams don't play each other enough. You hold up Texas' resume right now and the fact that they actually made it to the conference championship is really the only thing that they have going for it. Because if you give Miami that resume, they're OLI. So it's all a little bit ridiculous.
I actually, Dan, I felt like Saturday went pretty well. Everybody watching that game was like, this is pretty disappointing. This is an SEC championship game. I mean, we were over here pivoting and selling the defense and I understand every game is in a vacuum, but I saw Georgia Tech put up like 500, like close to 600 yards of offense. against that wanted SEC defense.
What is the question? Miami doesn't deserve to get in anymore because of how things broke, but I'm just curious what the question was.
No, honestly. But I think to the original question that I had twice before, do you think the committee would have screwed SMU out if they didn't battle back in that fourth quarter? Ah, the question.
Jess, der Transferportal hat sich heute offiziell geΓΆffnet. Es gibt alle Art und Weise unoffizielle UnglΓ€ubigkeit, die hinter den Szenen mit Spielern, die im Portal sind, mit Spielern, die nicht im Portal sind. Wir haben so viele Runden FuΓball zu gehen mit diesem Portal-Ding, das ΓΌber es hΓΌpft. Wie navigieren die Coachs das? Weil die Spieler und ihre ReprΓ€sentanten sind egal, was sie tun.
What's the latest on this Bill Belichick stuff? Because the Steve Belichick thing is out there.
So she goes home and she turns on the TV and there is her life right out in front of her.
No, I mean, I also push it. I mean, I don't know about the new pair of undies part of it, but I'm also similar to you in that like, yeah.
It's the, you're doing the long distance drive across our state, and it's like the next rest stop's in 39 miles, and it's like, I have to pee a little bit, but not so much that I have to stop right now, so I'm gonna try to make it the next 39 miles, and then like four miles in, you're like, shit, that was the wrong decision. And then before you know it, you've pulled over.
Yeah, no, you got it, exactly.
But people travel from all over the world to go to Disney World or to Disneyland. So when you have something that's within, what, a three-hour drive, three-and-a-half-hour drive, it feels like the type of thing that makes sense, no?
Did you put stuff in your shoes? Yes. Yeah, you did. Yeah, we do that every year with the kids we take to Universal for camp, for the camp I volunteer for. Every year, we have to try to find a way to stuff their shoes with enough paper towel or things like that to get them just tall enough to be able to go on rides.
I haven't spoken to Mickey about this, but it is pretty cool to see it as someone local and to watch this franchise be what it's been since he took over. I saw that since he became the point person for the Miami Heat, they are the winningest team in the Eastern Conference in terms of regular season record. They also, I think, are one of six teams with multiple titles in that stretch.
Last year, what we took, because mind you, the camp that I volunteer for, it's a group of children who are either presently battling or have gone through battles with cancer. And so it's tough enough to say no to a little kid who's upset. It's even harder to say no to this little kid who's upset. And our sweetest and cutest camper, he's eight years old.
The year before, had to accept, like he was...
three inches too short to go on one of these rides and we you know we calmed him down he was like seven years old we calmed him down we got him to accept it our lead counselor sits off the ride with him but then the next year it's like all right i've grown three inches now i know i've grown three inches my doctor told me i grew three inches i'm gonna be good to go and he gets to the hulk and i mean we're talking we had already preemptively stuffed his shoes with napkins we were ready for it we're like he's for sure gonna blow by and he comes up a
like a quarter of an inch short. And we tried to, I mean, we played every card that we had available to the people running it. And those bastards are serious about it. And they understandably are so serious about it. But I have not witnessed a profound sadness of just... streaming down this kid's face. Not my child, even some kid who I'm trying to give the best summer.
And he's just sobbing and sobbing and sobbing. And no matter what we did, they would not budge. And I completely understand it, given what you just said, which is this is really about the belt. But that is like it's that's got to be one of the worst feelings you can have as a kid is coming up just short.
Oh yeah, for sure.
This was the affliction of having older cousins. Like I didn't have older siblings, but I had older cousins. And when we would all go to any of these places and they were, you know, 12, 13, 14 years old and I was like seven, eight or nine years old, I couldn't go on any of the stuff that they did.
So it's cool to see. an owner that has had a ton of success and impacted the community the way that he has, being honored that way locally. I mean, it was cool news to see come across the timeline.
But it wasn't the same experience as what I imagine it was when it's, hey, it's all of my friends of the same age. And now I'm the shortest in the group and I can't go on the ride that they can.
That's so sad, David.
I would think so at some point, right?
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Yeah, I assume that that is a tenure of owning the franchise thing. I don't know the answer. I didn't look at all of the nominees on the ownership side of it. But my assumption would be is this is sort of a...
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I hope he did, but that doesn't excuse any of the behavior or crimes that he's accused of. You know what I mean?
If that's something that brings him comfort, and if that's something that leads him on the right ethical path from here on out, that's great. That's not right for everybody. Some people can find their own ethical path without needing to find specifically a given religion. If he did, wonderful. But the things he's accused of, one has nothing to do with the other.
Like the fact that he's throwing out this idea of like, oh, I found God and in turn I should have this merciful view from you is pathetic. And it spits in the name of the people who actually have used religion for good within their lives, like to actually follow a moral code. So to me, I find it all preposterous.
Is it to the Cosby show? Then yes.
Coca-Cola and Jell-O, he did the pudding. Jell-O brand gelatin. I knew the pudding one, but that's for parody reasons.
I understand that he was a gigantic superstar. I just didn't understand the specific reference to his endorsements.
Should we do it? I assume, but... Spoiler alert. Okay, spoiler alert. Spoiler alert, spoiler alert. To everyone listening, there are just over six minutes left in this hour. If you're listening or watching and you watch White Lotus and don't want to be spoiled, tune out now. Thank you very much.
Loved.
Time was on my side. If you want to spend some time at Mickey Arison's Arena watching the Miami Heat tonight, it's one of the two games tonight. The Sixers at the Heat. and the Kings at the Pistons. So if you're in Detroit, if you're in Miami, and you want to go to one of those games, you should use GameTime to do so.
Just download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Download GameTime today. Last-minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. What time is it, Roy?
Game time.
Yeah, they can still get a home game in the playing. A lot has to happen, though. No, I think at this point they're either a game back or tied with the Bulls, who they play later this week.
They are a game behind the Bulls and two games behind the Hawks, just so that we can all be aware of where things stand in the heat of the 10 seed.
They've sort of always been the franchise that you could be embarrassed about in that respect, right? Because they tried to lose for so many seasons only for it to turn out for them to continue to be losers. The Heat are a 14.5 point favorite tonight. 14?
Yeah, look, the Heat have lost, I think, they've lost back-to-back games here, but the loss before their win streak began and these last two games have all been by, I think, a combined three or four points total. They've been these heartbreaking losses at the buzzer. So they've been, over the last couple of weeks, playing better than they were before.
And when that's going up against the Sixers, who are, in every sense of the term, trying to lose, it's how you end up with a line like that one.
The Paul George contract really sent it overboard. Except when he signed. No, everybody was excited. Of course they were because they wanted another name brand player that could be alongside β
Joel Embiid but Embiid's health has been an issue for his entire career and now you've seen how many combinations of teammates not work it's really a shame because the health thing was really the biggest issue this year seemingly they were never able to gel Paul George was awful like he had a really bad season but who knows if he had been even a little bit healthy and the rest of that group had been healthy because Jared McCain and Tyrese Maxey that was a fun young backcourt you could look at there were all these what-ifs that you can do but when you're a
How many years of what if with the same exact result over and over again can you possibly hang your hat on? So that has to be it.
But the best what if is what if Ray Allen hadn't made the shot, right?
That's one of the best. I mean, for Miami people. Most people have no idea what you're talking about. I think everybody knows the Ray Allen shot.
Yeah, if I say the Ray Allen shot, anyone who watches basketball knows what it is.
I don't think anybody cares anymore. There's a Black Mirror episode about that, I think, with... Nope, not remembering her name. Schitt's Creek? Anybody? Annie Murphy. Thank you. Thank you, my own brain, for bringing that back. There's a Black Mirror episode where the whole premise is that her life is a reality TV show.
He just, I think he just retired this past season.
Yeah, I agree. He's not in the conversation. Wow.
I am?
Not him.
Can you take breaks?
But you can't stop in between games. You're just going over and over.
Why bowling? Your potty break has to be in between. There's plenty of time. Okay, well, it depends. Sometimes people are fast bowlers.
So you could stretch out your games long enough that you're only going to play like six games over the span of 24 hours is what you're saying?
I mean, it sounds like... Go with my family.
I actually think what's interesting about UConn's championship yesterday is the first one in nine years. And unless you're a... big fan of the sport, you probably didn't realize their championship drought has been that long. Like, they haven't won since before Donald Trump was elected. Is that a drought?
Was it the video where he made fun of his eyebrows? Yes. Okay, I did see that one. But that's what you remember? Yes, that was my takeaway. I was like, oh, he knows that something's going on up there.
Well, I already knew the beginning part. Yeah.
Yeah. Are you the logistics person?
So he was saying he's going to fire you.
Roy's rate is give him a free shirt or food or something.
I say pop.
Do you say bubbler?
No.
Yeah, I don't say that.
Is it a Saturday?
Are we talking 1900?
The first time, okay. Yeah, I mean, after you're winning, I mean, they had just come off of winning like four in a row right up until that point. And then they lost one two years, three years ago, and then they were finally back in it and won. So, yeah, I mean, I think it's it's almost like I don't want to say more impressive, but women's basketball has obviously grown a lot in the last decade.
Anytime you bring up 24-hour anything with this show, there's immediate red flags that are going to be raised.
We did have notes, by the way. That whole fiasco was very planned out from a logistics standpoint, from a everything else standpoint.
Yeah. Last time we ever had meetings.
48-hour runs after was actually why it was not going to happen again.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
And so to win now, even though they do have like three of the number one overall recruits in the country starting on their team, it's still super impressive because it has been nine years since they won one.
It's never as good as you remember, right? I saw an article in Eater about a woman who really liked smart food popcorn and said that she felt like it hadn't been as just flavorful as her recollection of it, and she did a whole investigation. TLDR, it just doesn't taste the same as it used to. It wasn't just her imagination. It's not the same formula or something.
I think that's just probably a cast iron pan, right? Yeah, cast iron. Keep the seasoning on it.
I know it's delicious.
You're heating it at like 450 degrees. There's nothing living on it.
No.
Well, you clean the residue out of it, but you don't scrub it with soap and water every time you use it.
No one's saying it's like a long drought, like it's a record-breaking drought.
No, not necessarily.
You can have short droughts or long droughts. For titles? I think a drought period is around, I don't know, seven or eight years, nine years. I think this qualifies.
Yeah, I think it's all relative. It's a drought relative to what UConn was doing prior to 2016. That's all I'm saying.
40 years. He started coaching there in 1985, I want to say. He's been there forever.
I don't really understand.
rest of the dynamic players they have because it's all a recruiting thing that being said like yeah they're still it's not like they ever stopped recruiting the best players in the country they just weren't able to win because there were better teams that beat them anytime there's an old coach do we have to say that that a coach who was involved back when there were typewriters and then someone who's good at a computer do they get credit for longevity
Was it like, ha ha, oh my God, he's throwing up? Or was it like, ooh, yikes, he's definitely over-served?
She's 23. I think it's more so she's played in the NCAA tournament so many times and, I guess, beaten so many number one seeds over the span of her career.
You're not supposed to say the stat that Roy gave is bad. I'm not saying it's a bad stat. That's a Dan move.
At least two off the top of my head.
Iowa and South Carolina, but I know I'm forgetting some from her younger seasons.
No, I think they moved it up to like 8.50 now. We'll give you 20 minutes back. Like, guess what? I'm still going to fall asleep before halftime.
Did anyone read that? I don't know if they're ever going to move it that far earlier.
It sounds like the beginning of the training and the Hunger Games. They're setting you up to just send you out to slaughter.
How long is this process? Like, was this a couple of weeks?
Yeah, this still sounds like the Hunger Games.
Well, you know.
That was 347.
Eastern.
1,060. I mean, it's... That's crazy.
Put the puck in the back of the net. For that matter, in terms of assists, he has what? He has 1,963. The most points otherwise is 1,921. So he had like 42 assists to spare that could have been goals. And who knows? What if Ovechkin tweaks something in the next 40 goals and then all of a sudden he could have been the goals leader as well? I think Ovechkin's retiring.
I thought he was breaking the record, and he's done now. I don't think he's coming back. So even more. Even more to say that Wayne Gretzky really should have been more selfish and turned 40 of those assists into goals. Even, honestly, even if there would have been 40 attempts there and even 20 of them could have been goals, right?
Maybe, yeah, 20 fewer points on his career, but still leading in assists, leading in goals, and he never has to worry about the Sovechkin guy. Yeah. What a mistake.
Still would have been the leading assist man of all time. I'm just saying. He had an opportunity to set himself up for some more long-term success. Guarantee the great one. And here he is. He's not the great one in terms of goal scoring.
You always have an answer.
If you can get her a text, what time is your afternoon nap? Maybe if you fit in a text before that.
I was wrong. It wasn't 347. It was 345.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Cuervo.
Ruined everything.
53?
What is it that you liked the most about firing managers?
So it wasn't about like the feeling of knowing you were ending their tenure. Like it wasn't it wasn't the benefit of knowing that their job was lost. It was just knowing that there was a future ahead of you.
This is great advice on something that I don't think any of us in this room are going to do or would advocate for at this point. But I appreciate having the knowledge. I mean, I don't go to Hi-Li. A couple other people go to Hi-Li.
Yeah.
Bomani. I mean, I think even Bomani would admit that Graziano's the favorite. This was born out of a couple years ago, I created like a... a trivia show for Bomani on his show. And then we started doing it on Get Up. And Bomani always texts me the answers when Graziano is answering it. But Graziano, I think even Bomani would admit that Graziano is the favorite. But you never know.
It depends on the questions for sure.
Thanks for having me on. It's January 15th. It's in Manhattan at the Whitby Theater. Graz will be there. Bomani will be there. Kevin Clark, Jason Goff. Who else? Himbo's coming. Oh, Greeny's going to come. Greeny's going to show up. I don't know what we're going to have him do, but he's going to show up. So get your tickets, $35. We got alcohol. It should be fun. I did my promo stuff.
Now let's talk about the Panthers, guys. Which Panthers? The Florida Panthers? Yeah, the Florida Panthers. I've been listening to the show. It's so sad. The Dolphins make you sad. The Heat make you sad. The Marlins make you sad. Panthers are good. Right, Roy?
But it works, though. That shit look good.
I think Roy was dreading. I might have to give me a little cut in my eyebrow. How do you pull that off?
I mean, it does look kind of good. You got to be honest.
Yeah, I've never cut my eyebrows by mistake. Also, yeah, I don't know, Roy. I want to focus on how good it looks. And Barkov, right? What about that guy? He's good.
Just do one. I like it. It's the imbalance. It's unpredictable. It looks good. I'm a fan. Keep it up.
Okay. Sisters. Gotcha.
Oh, Kachuk. Third. Third. You trying to play me? You trying to play me, Dan? You trying to play me? You get yourself a nice little shirt with buttons. You got your first shirt in your life with buttons on it, and you want to be a smartass. Because now you're Mr. Big Man. I got buttons. Look at me. I can wear two shirts at one time. That's what I was doing. He sees through me.
First day back at school from the break. I'm going to wear all the stuff my wife bought me for Christmas. Look, I'm going to layer two shirts. Look at me. I just learned about layering.
It's so hot. It smells like sewage.
I'm in the middle of a snowstorm here, so you guys need to stop complaining.
hell no probably not maybe he gets another chance somewhere else down the road but this Bryce Young turnaround has been the most incredible thing like he would it's almost inexplicable like I see what's happening here but we always feel like or at least for me once you get an idea the range of what a quarterback can be he's not just gonna blow the roof like this
If he started his career the way he's playing right now, we'd be talking about him as if he was one of the second Cummins, like the future of the league. The stuff that he's doing now is really incredible. Comeback player of the year, probably, in my view. I'm a big Bryce guy. He's fun. He's doing no-look passes and celebrating on everybody in very Steph Curry fashion.
I appreciate this comeback story that is Bryce Young. And, I mean... It's always kind of the case is we forget the little events that changed the way that changed history for us. But, yeah, it's always something like that. I guess it's not always a car accident for Andy Dolan, but it's always some random occurrence that puts somebody in the spotlight. The Chiefs are scared of Joe Burrow.
Do you agree?
Two minutes for Chiefs talk. No, the Chiefs are not afraid of him. Does anybody know if Stu knows about how the playoffs work?
yeah i mean i'm comfortable with making like general psychoanalysis sometimes but this is so specific it's hard to say he had injuries also but i can't imagine that um having all of those things that you have done come back and be like the main storyline of your life i can't imagine that's an easy burden to to carry um
whether it is, or not whether, it is warranted and it's part of his responsibility for the things that he's done and decisions that he's made. It has to be tough. It weighs on every single person that would go through, that would put themselves through something like that.
I do find, though, incredibly interesting that they never paid Baker Mayfield, which I like to go back on that argument because I said they should have paid him and now he's the best quarterback right now playing in football. I know Mike is off of... Yeah, I got a little carried away. Not the best in football. That was an exaggeration.
He's the best Browns quarterback that they've had in a long time, and I know Mike is off of the Browns, but you've got to enjoy the way Baker's playing right now, right?
But he did it like a shotgun type of. Yeah, first down. You can't first down with two fingers. That's the thing. Yeah, just foul. But, yeah, that was a really good throw. But you guys obviously ain't watching Joe Milton if you think that Baker Mayfield's throw was the best throw of the weekend because Joe Milton had two throws in that game that were absurd.
I think he threw the best pass or the fastest pass in the league this year. He was terrible at Tennessee.
I don't remember exactly which one you're talking about, but he had another rollout that I think counted where he hit a guy in the middle field, ridiculous pass. Then he had one to the left that was the fastest throw in the league this year. Joe Milton is probably not very good at football, but he had a really β Really good day, and that was fun. It was very fun having a good day.
No, you don't. What do you mean you don't? It's a season record. They extend the season. The record changes. No one points to Eric Dickerson and says that the juice still has the record because he did it in 14 games. If they extend the season, it becomes a season record. Don't fall into this trap. You're too smart for that.
I think OJ Simpson is not allowed to have any records anymore. I think that we decided that OJ Simpson's behavior off the field means that we have to pretend that he wasn't the best running back in NFL history.
Probably. And who cares? It's a new record. You know what? I do a lot of old man things now because I'm an old man. But I got pulled into an ancient running back rabbit hole a couple of days ago when we were having this conversation. And Hershel Walker was absurd. There's so many running backs that we don't see anymore because we've devalued the position.
That if you watch their highlights, we all know Barry Sanders. Just... Watch 15 minutes of Hershel Walker play football or OJ Simpson play football. Do that, young people who are not cool enough to wear t-shirts like me and Dan. Watch some old football. You'll appreciate it.
I just want to talk about Kachuk. Barkov. I assume the new Dan attire is motivated by his beautiful wife. When's Abby going to get you right, Stu? Come on, man. It's time to up your game.
Is that it?
Yeah, I get it. I'm staunchly opposed to losing intentionally, as you guys know, and as Dan likes to mischaracterize me all the time about when it comes to the Dolphins. But... If you're bad at football, you're bad at football. Being extra bad at football isn't going to make you good. Like playing for draft status is gross to me generally. And I think we have this extended season.
You're going to send me into a long rant that's probably pretty boring. I'm going to self-edit myself and point out the fact that if teams stink. They deserve to stink and they shouldn't be rewarded with high draft picks. Generally, I hate that as a concept. We should eliminate the draft and only have free agency where you can use money to negotiate and we can still have a fun show.
You can announce your what team you're signing with out of college and they can pay you however much they want to pay you to get you. I generally hate the idea that there's ever any incentive to be bad. It sucks. Don't reward the guys who suck.
It does seem unfair, but you got to pick your battles. Gerard Mayo has a track record that makes it hard for me to defend. And it makes it very difficult for me to say that I would want him to be the quarterback of my team. And it's not even the on-field stuff that I care about as much as it's the way that he's handled
uh the team through the media i think that we understand now while bill belichick would always say on the cincinnati because gerard mayo i think did some damage to the psyche of the team and the culture of the team by just what he was saying and so he's not the guy that i want to defend it is unfair to give one a guy one year head coaching and assume that he can get the job done and get as good as you want him to be but
I think they're going to move on or no, I know they're going to move on. And it seems like with Vrabel, like it feels like they already have a plan set up and in place. And Vrabel's a good coach. But I can't wait. Who do you think is going to be the charade hire? I mean, the charade interview. Who's it? Who's up? Tell them I'm available. You need a black guy to show up and chit chat. Holler at me.
I'll come up in New England. I ain't been there in a couple of years.
let the man enjoy his win he ain't had many of them like it was 20 minutes after the game it's the one that got him fired though I think I mean it does it does gotta feel like that that's part of it but fire the man the next morning geez let him sleep good that night let him go home and be the big man
It's going to be fun. Drinks, guests, all that stuff. Oh yeah. We're doing meet and greet for at six 30. I want to thank you guys for coming up and being guests on this show because you're my friends and you care about me. Thanks to all of you.
Football season is here, and there is absolutely nothing better than game day. But it can be a little bit stressful. You're placing bets, you're setting fantasy lineups, you're figuring out the most comfortable position to sit on your couch for the next 12 hours. No one has time to think about this part. Cooking. Well, thanks to DoorDash, you don't have to worry about that.
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Good for us. It's nice. Yeah. New year, new anus. I'd like a new anus. I'd take one. Yeah. I'm good with mine.
Yeah, but it's one of those, you'd rather get it, you know, it's better to get a new one too early than too late. Correct.
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If every star wants to leave Miami, and I don't, you know. Is it us? Maybe it's us. If we're the common denominator here, maybe it's us.
Well, I mean, Stephen Ross put out a statement yesterday saying everybody's kind of staying in the same roles. So I think that if that was a thing, I think they've gone away from that.
Yep. In the organization for 20, working his way up as well.
But I think what the season did was it cast a spotlight on the fact that there was no contingency plan. And now you're moving forward. And if Tua gets hurt again, which is a very real possibility in any form, not just the concussion thing, we saw the hip thing undid him at the end of the season. What is the plan?
And it seems as though they're trusting the same people to be in charge of making that plan next year. When we saw this year, there didn't seem to be a very good one. We better see the best quarterback room ever next year.
Did you see that rumor?
He's available.
And he's going to be turning 40. Or Joe Milton. Give me Dalton and a rookie. That's what I want. Red rifle? Dalton and a rookie.
The league is full of people that have backup plans.
Well, no, the winners are talking about the playoff games. We don't have a playoff game to talk about.
What was up with the sunglasses yesterday? I mean, we're throwing out some fodder for conspiracies when we're wearing sunglasses at night when we have a history of concussion issues, correct?
And then we all of a sudden have a hip injury that just appeared two weeks ago, didn't seem like a big deal, and then all of a sudden it's maybe a partial tear of a muscle, and if he plays it, it's a full tear. But then again, we're wearing sunglasses at night because of the lighting in the stadium, which is... You're setting it up for people to assume that there was a secret concussion, right?
I'm just going to put out there what people were saying. That was the chatter. People were wondering, was there another concussion issue that we're just going to say was a hip issue because we don't want to have that conversation again?
You're good, Billy. Oh, we're good? I'm just asking. I'm not saying anything. It's just that there was chatter out there. Maybe there's something more to this injury than what was let on. And I'm not insinuating anyone's fudging any incidents reports or any, you know, health records. That's... It's unheard of in the NFL. What just happened? Wait a minute.
I kind of tiptoed around it. He may have a concussion. There we go. Possibly.
Not if you have a hip injury. If he has a hip injury, what is he going to do? Parsley torn if he plays again and maybe fully torn. That's what they told us. Even though they didn't tell us that like a week ago, right? A week ago it was like, eh, maybe he'll be back.
The sunglasses, though, didn't cross your mind yesterday when you saw it? In Tua's defense, it was a 425 start, not nighttime. No, but in New York, it was nighttime. It's nighttime there. It was dark out. The sunglasses were not because of the sun. What were they for?
I think you could talk yourself into bringing him back next season.
Anthony Richards.
He fakes that ankle injury every year. He does lead the league in tweaks that he plays through and looks better after tweaking something.
Wow.
But just yesterday, I was just like, ugh, get away. By the way, friendly reminder, cancel your red zone today so that you're not paying for it for six months when it's an inactive channel. Dan, did you just say that you just, like, watch people eat chocolate? Like, you're like an elf on the shelf that you just show up at people's house when they're eating chocolate watching them?
They were doubling him like all game. Like it seemed like their mission was to cost him money the entire game for some reason.
Disrepair is making it seem like it's irreparable. Right? Disrepair?
Oh. Yes. I can't believe we're by 59 already. Yeah. Time flies. It does.
We're old. I'm old. Hey, you know what? Stugatz, I was thinking. Yes? Since football season's winding down, Super Bowl's coming up, Super Bowl 59, we've been celebrating football all year. I have an idea. What? Let's do a toast. Okay, wow. To football.
Smirnoff extraordinary? Nailed it! I told you, I'm a good guesser.
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I could have done with a day or two of making Chris Greer and Mike McDaniel feel like there was a little bit of heat on their seat. You know what I mean? As the people say, let's Let's make him sweat a little bit, not just immediately like, we thought about it. Everything's fine. We're going to do the exact same thing next year. Let's run it back. This was a great season.
Look at us. What's the website?
I couldn't have done without that. Also, Tyreek Hill, are you in or are you out? Make a decision. Enough with these cryptic, I guess yesterday was the first time that we actually had the first video.
No, because this is how it works. This is how it works with him. We tweet something, and it's like, no, no, no, I meant this other thing. And then I'll tweet something else. It's like, no, I meant this other thing. I really wanted to wish the Chiefs a happy new year. And then next year, he seemed to just be thinking out loud, like, I think I got to get out of here.
By the way, some people have been saying that he's washed. I'm not going to say who. Some people have said that. Also, if you want to go, don't let the door hit you where the good Lord splits you. You know what I mean?
I mean, he dealt with various injuries throughout the season. He had his knee procedure that we learned about, and he had his wrist that needed to be repaired. He needs surgery on his wrist. There's lots of reasons why the Dolphins season...
went off the rails this year two of not playing the majority of it was part of it but also tyree kill was not tyree kill jaylen waddle dealt with injuries you lost a lot of people on the defensive end uh that's why i think the news almost immediately after the game that everyone's safe we're just going to do the exact same thing next year was not something that the fan base wanted to hear
You could make the argument that they're close. But close to what, I guess, is the question, right? What are the Dolphins close to? To being the Texans. That's not what you want, right? An argument can be made that they wasted this window.
And you wasted the best kicker in the league.
I mean, Pro Bowl snow if I've ever seen one.
It can be again, by the way, if you go to sportspodcastgroup.com, you can vote for God bless football, best American football podcast. I believe this is the last week of voting. So we'd appreciate your vote. Also, I would ask you guys to check me if I repeat any takes as well, because as you mentioned, we did a lot of streaming yesterday and then this morning.
So I think I've observed everything so far in football. I don't know if there's any more observations to be had.
The wheel, man. Can't control the wheel.
You couldn't see it. It was covered.
Well, we just misspelled it. N and Enya are two different letters. It's hard. It's like one of those Alt-164 situations. Which Alt is it? I don't know.
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
I'm with you on Adrian Brody being the Joker of the week, Juju. It was annoying to me to see all of the other filmmakers get played off the stage. And then he was like, I'm actually the best actor, so I'm very important and I can tell the band to stop. And then they did. And I was like, no! Terrible, they should have gone louder.
Ja, ich denke, dass alle Conan liebten.
You should be leaving right now.
You should have left probably a half hour ago.
Almost like there's a pandemic. It's weird.
I think I was the quietest about that. I think Mike was the loudest because he's just he's always he was first and he was loudest.
No, I said he was. I said Hall of Famer like Greg.
You were not supposed to reveal that.
The Heat should have tried playing defense last night.
Or down 20? 19-point lead.
How does it feel knowing Taylor was at the Knicks heat game last night in Miami chanting MVP at Jalen Brunson? Wow.
You could hear it on the broadcast.
I think that's Lee's college roommate doing the play-by-play for the Knicks.
Who did he extend this invite to?
It depends. If the judge is the guy from the Cal game who knows Dan, maybe he'll put in a favor for you.
He's not going to be able to eat any of it, Mike.
Shouldn't it be Gulf of Mexico then? Wouldn't that be the stance?
The Cuban-American dream. Was he busy tonight?
Like Greg.
We're here to talk about Chris Cody's wife like that.
It was like a torrential statewide downpour that day.
How long would we have to pay you to never speak to him ever again?
Is the CVS bag because you have another kidney stone?
We never revealed what was in the CVS bag that Tony said had Pepto-Bismol in it.
Or perhaps Imodium.
You take half of a dose.
Dan never answered. Valerie's his best friend, so that makes it complicated.
I've had a best friend die too, Dan. It's okay.
Which is why I feel like maybe, I don't know, $500,000 for you?
I was talking about him too.
Dan, weren't you the one that was like, ooh, it was a love pact right when it happened?
Yeah, and we were like, oh, it's like the scene in Air Bud where they all put their hands in and then the dog puts its paw in at the end. We made that joke.
I don't know. It's really sad. It kind of makes me bummed out, especially because it seems like they were dead for a while and their family didn't realize it, which is like really sad and... It's awful, but I don't know. And the other thing is like, yeah, the dog makes me sad. Just must have been a horrible, horrible way for them all to die.
Would Jumpin' Charlie eat you if you died, Greg?
I see all the pre-draft stuff as just politics. He's just trying to position himself in the best way possible. Whatever happens after the draft, he'll have some say and obviously not the final say. But right now, making yourself seem like you think that you're capable of doing all these things is something that we know NFL front offices really like to hear.
They like that he's open about playing both positions. They like that he's versatile. They like that he's not...
No, no.
It's quite simple. Every player wants to be in for every snap. Every wide receiver wants to be in for every snap count. Him saying he wants to play every single snap at wide receiver and corner in a game, every player would tell you that they want to do that. And it's not their choice because the coaches decide who goes in for what plays.
Ask Nosferatu.
I saw a comparison being made about Eli Manning and Adrian Brody on the internet.
You stay in here for this one. Because Eli Manning won two Super Bowls.
No, she can't. No, she cannot do that one. But then, widely considered not one of the greats, Adrian Brody won two Best Actor awards.
It's not wrestling, Mike.
Yeah, he was in Angels in the Outfield.
Five minutes and 40 seconds. I wanted to ask you, Zoe Saldana, when she accepted Best Supporting Actress for Amelia Perez, she shouted out her husband having great hair. Did you see his hair?
Well, the problem with accusing someone of having tummy trouble is that even if they deny it, it's like no one really believes them because you've already put that thought into their head.
Tony accused you of having diarrhea.
Maybe move away some of that lotion.
Yeah, your unscented lotion tube.
Confused about the Pete Rose take earlier. It's not.
Cuervo.
Like you're going to die if you do talk to one of them because your identity will be revealed?
I think that's a different question.
Right now.
Is your wife your friend? Because then you wouldn't be able to talk to her either.
Yeah.
Well, it depends on the intent of the question. Is the question that you would never communicate to your friends ever again, or is the question just talk to them?
What if you set the price of like $5 million and you never talk to your friends again, but they each get like $500,000. I think everyone would take.
Assuming you have like two friends or three friends.
We're not talking about acquaintances, though. We're saying, like, maybe there's a couple people. Because my friends would take that deal. They'd be like, all right, I'll take the $500,000.
Yeah, but some people are married and they're like, oh, my wife's my best friend. They're all lying.
Well, you set the bar where you want to. It could be like $10 million is your price.
It's very rude to speculate on another man's tummy.
This is why I'm saying the best version of the answer to this question is you get some money and your friends get some money and you're helping people out.
The Dan Levitard Show with Stu Gatz is sponsored by BetterHelp. Who's in your support system and how have they changed your life? Think about your favorite leaders, mentors, idols. They don't all have the answers, but they do know when to ask for help. In a world that glorifies hyper independence, we sometimes forget that we thrive with support.
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I'm surprised that you're actually going to make the drive out to Sawgrass. You know where it is. You're going to get there on time, right? It's not at the Miami Arena anymore. Don't get there on Cuban time, Dan, because you're going to miss it.
Why was Brittany Griner booed? No, it won't be a boo. It'll be a hoo.
The Dan Levitard Show with Stu Gatz is sponsored by BetterHelp. Who's in your support system and how have they changed your life? Think about your favorite leaders, mentors, idols. They don't all have the answers, but they do know when to ask for help. In a world that glorifies hyper-independence, we sometimes forget that we thrive with support.
We're stronger, healthier, and more resilient when we have people to lean on. therapy is one of the best ways to build that support system. It helps with positive coping skills, setting boundaries, and becoming the best version of yourself. Here's the thing. Therapy isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. It's for everybody.
Whether you're facing a big life transition, feeling overwhelmed, or just want to grow, therapy can help. That's where BetterHelp comes in. With over 30,000 credentialed therapists, you can find somebody who truly understands you. It's fully online, making therapy accessible, affordable, and convenient. No waiting rooms, no long commutes, just the support you need.
whenever and wherever you need it. And by the way, if you ever feel like switching therapists, it's no cost to you whatsoever. Build your support system with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash D-L-B today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash D-L-B.
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Some people just don't really like football, and that's fine.
I don't really watch that much of the NBA. That's okay.
Yeah, and like a quarter zip is like a cozy outer garment that you can wear inside.
No.
You're cozy. Quarter zip is fine. You're warm. Toasty, I would also use as another synonym.
Do Wemby next.
Yeah.
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Why are we doing LeBron to the Knicks? The Knicks are good this year. They made a lot of moves and are so much better than they were last year.
What? I've seen some of that too. It is a huge bummer because several teams passed on Luka, so you get this person who a lot of draft analysts thought was the best player in that draft, and you have him and he's 25 and he's already taken you to the finals, and they've made moves around him to make the team better, and now they're just kind of giving up on it. It's just bizarre.
It's not just the game, though. It's like the whole all the different events like they've made it very silly and they're not taking it as seriously now. And I think it works because I think you're getting to see a lot of players personalities. It's like, oh, and like, you know, I said earlier, it's like my my Buccaneers friends are hanging out with my 49ers friends like that's so cute.
Yeah, because then hockey's definitely in play.
They're all everyone's having such a good time together.
We don't have to talk about it.
Dan tried to cancel it like 20 minutes ago.
Also, it doesn't help that he didn't play Saturday night against the Knicks. But that was more of an anomaly recently.
You can't make a really bad point and then make a good point and we forget the really bad point.
I will not stand for this.
No, apparently he found out while he was at dinner.
Why don't you talk about the Spurs trade then? What did you tell your wife about the Spurs?
What about the Bulls haul for Zach Levine?
We haven't even talked about Mavericks fans. They're so upset right now. And there's got to be so many Cowboys Mavericks fans that are just like, this has been the worst year of my life.
I don't think.
He was like, can I call you on my drive? And I was like, yeah, but I'm not going to talk. So he just talked to me while I just laid there with my eyes closed. I am genuinely interested and excited by this. This has been a tremendous weekend for basketball, but it was not the time and place.
And he knows I can't do more Knicks talk. I've done, oh my God, so much Knicks talk.
I can't stop talking about testicles. He shit himself?
I mean, I grew up on his show. It is one of my favorite shows of all time. I am the biggest Andrew Zimmern stan.
Andrew, we just talked. We met a few years ago in New York. My first question, are you still buddies with Cousin Stiz?
This guy is so cool, Dan.
Do you have a favorite episode that you've shot of Bizarre Foods?
I bet he has some crazy memorabilia in his house, too. We're trying to figure out what is the flag behind you? It's like red and white stripe with.
We got to get top five nut sacks.
I was gonna say the same thing very nice coat of hair.
For the audio audience, he's showing us testicles.
You know how strong he is.
A little higher.
I don't think Anora was. No, it's not? And Anora is one of the favorites to win right now. I thought Anora was actually really good. I think the best, like, capital M movie was Conclave.
Which is adapted from a book.
Yeah, I liked Inora. I felt like it could have been a little better.
Synopsis is it's a young woman in Brooklyn who's a stripper and this son of a Russian oligarch become like,
married but you're not really sure if they're actually if she's in love with him or not which is where I sort of was confused but then it's sort of a dark comedy because these henchmen come and his family wants them to annul the marriage because they're you know very dismissive of her and it's very they're very dehumanizing towards her and so then it kind of is just a weird wacky sort of like follow along the henchmen in a Nora film for a while.
With romance.
He did. I really liked it.
That was why A Complete Unknown worked for me, I think, because it only was like four years of Bob Dylan. It wasn't like, he was born in Minnesota. He's such a mystery. And now he's 87 years old.
I liked the Dune movies though.
I don't know. I liked Austin Butler, though. He was so creepy.
Yeah, I think that's the best thing you can say about it.
The best that's a great the delivery is great there the little pause and laugh Because that's that indicates I know what I'm about to do right now I mean to answer your question about movies that I think would be good to win best picture for the movies to nominations for that category one the substance because horror film is Doesn't normally get a lot of love. I didn't love it.
I thought it was a little too long also. But it was very interesting, very gross, good acting. Second one, Nickel Boys. Really good movie based on a book and incredible acting, incredible storytelling. It's obviously about a very difficult subject matter. It's about these children being abused at a reformatory school in Tallahassee. But really, really well done.
And I think it should be getting some more love.
Bringing it full circle.
He's only like 5'6". Probably a good passer.
Better be a flight to Tokyo. It's going to take you a while to get through it.
Everyone's digesting. And you kind of just put your head down a little.
And you'll be so productive afterwards.
This may be like a difference between you and I thing. I could never fall asleep in an Uber. I would be terrified.
An answer in the New York Times Friday crossover.
You've been doing a plug for Oddball this whole month. I have. And it's going great.
What movie are we watching?
Yeah, it's very relaxing.
No, but now I think I might.
Maybe before that massage, I won't have oranges, garlic, gluten, dairy. What else does Dan have to eat?
I've never heard that before.
Really? He doesn't get mashed yet. Really? I don't like that at all.
My calves, very ticklish.
I have another nap nominee.
On a recliner Shea Lounge outside at a pool under an umbrella.
When it's warm, but you're in the shade. This is great. Maybe you're reading a book, listening to a podcast, and you kind of just doze off.
Someone gets murdered.
It's not a new genre, though. We have a new movie musical all the time. I agree with you. It's better. I mean, way better than Cats. It's a lot better than a lot of good ones. Well, that's part of it, right?
Oh, I can't remember who she played.
It's a wacky, wacky stage musical.
It was like a month later, I think.
Well, it's O'Hare, so I kind of see where he's going.
I've been there before it opens. I had a 4 a.m. flight to Phoenix once, actually. And I got there at like 3 something to go through TSA. And I was just waiting for them to open up a lane.
Fair complaint. O'Hare, I used to love it, but I could see as a traveler why it would be somewhere that you hate because now I don't live in Chicago anymore. So I'm just going and experiencing most of my trip through how easy or hard it was to get through O'Hare. Now I hate it. Awful. The new Delta Terminal on Terminal 5 is actually not that bad. Is it open 24 hours a day? Great question.
I don't know. I do know that if you need to catch a rideshare, you have to go back to Terminal 1. That's the other thing. It's bananas.
It's like a little train thing, yeah.
I do love the tunnel with the moving walkway and the art installation on the ceiling. Anyways, I digress. You went to a basic bitch bar in Chicago. You had a nice time, it was nice out. Maybe give it a fourth chance, fifth chance. When it's nice out, it's a great city.
Go between June and September, yeah.
Yeah, fly through Midway.
No, Midway's fine. They actually just redid it. I used to only fly in and out of Midway. Is it closer than O'Hare? No, depending on where you're going. If you're going to the United Center, no. O'Hare is definitely closer. If you're going to the city, also depends where you're going.
Do we think Scal will actually give us a... Straight answer on that?
Darn.
I thought basketball was dead, by the way. It's not dead. It's in total shambles. What a great start to the show.
100%, 100%.
Why did you let him pick your nose, Dare Bear?
Great passer, yeah.
and now i'm like you know what they were right man they were right hey get this thing under 90 minutes oh 90 minutes no i mean i felt this way last year too with killers of the flower moon which was a movie i was really excited to see the acting was really good in it the movie was or i'm sorry the book was amazing and then the movie it's just like martin scorsese made no choices like yeah
He left everything in, and so it just had a three and a half hour long run time, and it was just very, very long, and so I think a lot of people just didn't watch it, because it's just such a massive time commitment, which is a bummer, because it's an important story.
I really liked the movie, too, but I think it could have been better.
But this year, Wicked, like you said, Jeremy and I got in an argument about this yesterday because disagreement. The Wicked went to the East, bro! She came down in a bubble!
They stretched it. First of all, they made it into two parts. And so part one.
Two hours and 40 minutes long. And you don't find out what happens.
Same with The Brutalist. The first half of the movie is pretty good. I'm following.
Then there's a one-minute intermission. And then the second half of the movie is another hour and 40 minutes long, and I'm not exactly sure what the point of it was.
On marketing, too.
Here's where I was officially like, I'm lost. Because I was like, Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande were so good. They carried that movie. I thought the production, the set, everything, the costumes were amazing. Where I was officially lost was during Defying Gravity, which is, Wicked's not my favorite musical, but I think Defying Gravity is one of the best musical numbers on stage.
It's like the huge crescendo before the intermission in the Broadway show. And There were so many breaks during it, it became like a 25 minute long scene. And they showed like six different camera angles of her like picking up a broom. And I'm like, come on. This was like the moment you're waiting for. And then they kept cutting it up and breaking it up.
I know Wicked Heads were upset about that specifically. But man, I wish it was just one song. Make some choices, man.
There you go, it's like a prequel.
He toured with the dead, too. Did he? I think so. Didn't he? The name's ringing a bell.
If Shaq gives a prediction in a forest, no one's around to hear.
Would you ever sit out in NBA finals because you're like, I just don't feel like going back to Cleveland? Because Cleveland is your least favorite city.
Really?
It's the one that I've heard you complain the most about.
Actually, I have a topic that I've been meaning to bring up on the show because I think there's someone here that has the answer to all my questions about the Oasis reunion happening. What is going on with this, Mike?
So wait, can we start at the top?
Who is Oasis? Oasis is Wonderwall.
Right. Does anyone know what the feud is over? They're assholes. Both of them are assholes.
By the way, I think I was so nervous about that video thing going on well with Jeremy and Greg that I held my breath for the entire segment and my hiccups went away. Yeah, I told you. I was nervous that wasn't going to work out. But Mike, so their band started when they were how old and they were able to get along well enough to make a hit. Yeah. And then they broke up.
They're not a one-hit wonderwall.
So why did they choose now to get back together? Mike.
Greg's shoulder mobility is stressing me out.
They all signed the waiver. They're fine.
The America's Next Top Model thing.
Like, they disappear, one of them, every time someone gets eliminated. Dissolves.
Can we pan over the shoes that everyone is wearing in comparison to Greg's deck shoes? Because I sense another trend, which is that he's sticking out a little bit on that one.
I thought you weren't allowed to do that anymore.
Listening to Wonderwall.
You know, I've heard people of an older generation than me say that bumming a cigarette from someone or going outside to smoke with someone was a great icebreaker and a great way to like kind of meet someone and chat with them without having any pressure. And it's harder to sort of like make those connections with strangers now.
And I'm not saying that the pros don't outweigh the cons in this scenario, but maybe there is some truth to it. It's like an easy way to bridge the conversation gap with people that you don't know.
This happened to me two days ago at the barbecue contest. Someone says, does anyone have a light? And I was like, no.
I was like, oh, let me check my purse.
Weirdly, Roy did have a grill lighter in his bag that was several feet long.
He just happens to carry it around. Always ready to grill.
The vibes in that room seem incredible. Does it not just sound like the most excited chatter, background noise? It sounds great. It sounds like Donut Sundays after church. Everyone's in a great mood.
Back in the 90s when I went to church.
It's perfect down here. Perfect right here in this little area. He's saying this.
I was like, man, we're okay. We're good. I mean, I think we're okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 11 years you've been a Panthers fan? I have, yeah. Because? How?
So, yeah, ever since then, I've just been locked in with the Panthers. It's been pretty cool to see you find a home here.
There can't be another story like that in NFL history.
No, I'm not an old man. Given my age, you're not an old man. You're not an old man.
He's friendly.
That's right. Listen to the man.
What are we doing?
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Yeah, I would go. That was all, Jessica. And by the way, I have never, ever seen that. Have you? I mean, I've been watching hockey, obviously much longer than you guys, because you guys are babies. But never, ever. You're welcome. Anytime. You should have me on more often. I'll continue to compliment.
And I. I give credit to Jessica Campbell for sure. First of all, um, kudos to head coach Dan Bosma. As you know, it's his first year here with the Seattle Kraken. And those two were on the same staff at Coachella, the AHL team, uh, for the crack and a very successful AHL team.
And we all know Dan Bosma from his earlier coaching stints, cup winner with Pittsburgh and then, uh, Buffalo, not as, not as great, but, um, Jessica is fantastic. You know, talking to the players about her, they just love her. I mean, she's smart and she knows the game. She played the game and it's fantastic. And kudos to Coach Bosma and the entire Kraken organization. There was no pause.
There was no hesitation. So when they hired Dan Bosma and Dan Bosma wanted Jessica Campbell with him by his side, They said, sure, Dan, whatever you want. We love Jessica and she's done a great job so far. And the Kraken are on the upswing. You know, they're above 500. They have a West Coast road trip. They're playing L.A. tomorrow. They play Anaheim.
But they just finished a homestand in which they went five and one. So. They got to keep winning because, as you guys know, the Western Conference is a hell of a lot tougher and deeper than the East, my opinion.
You know, led by this amazing organization, just, you know, It's Seattle. You know, I have a history in Seattle. First of all, my daughter was born there before I worked at ESPN. Way back when, when you guys were toddlers, I worked for the CBS affiliate in Seattle, K.I.R.O. And it was my first big break. And that's where ESPN spotted me. But this city is amazing.
And it just they don't see that there's any difference. They, as you mentioned perfectly, they just look for the most qualified people for the job. And I don't know, they just have it going on. Todd Lewicki, he was the guy that spotted me and I've known him and he he brought me in. But Samantha Holloway, who is the owner, a woman owner, it's just goes on and on. They just want to grow the game.
And they're doing a hell of a great job. The fan base is incredible. And you guys got to get out to the Climate Pledge Arena. Oh, yeah. It is state of the art.
sickness for arenas i mean it is ridiculous to me it's like a museum i mean it's you go in there and you're like you're before you even get to your seat and watching a hockey game you're like i gotta walk the hallways before i get my beer i have to see what's going on here it's really beautiful so uh yeah um it doesn't surprise me that seattle is ahead of the game
You guys don't even look at... What's your secret? Can we compare moisturizers? I mean, what's going on there?
Can't go wrong with cocoa butter.
You were so nice.
Even with the equipment on.
How great was that day? By the way, how great? Can we share? People don't know or unless you've been bragging about that. No, no, no, no. I mean, that was that was so great when the Panthers decided to open up. It was you know, they were desperate for goalies. And I mean, desperate because you saw us.
Yes, go ahead.
With the big leaguers. And yeah.
OK, I did not make the team either. But we went live on SportsCenter, which was very cool. Daytime SportsCenter. Kudos to ESPN for taking that live. And then I did a story on it and it got a lot of great.
pub for the panthers and uh yeah and actually oh way to go um actually i did really i stopped 10 of 11 shots by the way sean sean thornton buzzed one right above my ear by the way um yeah this is me getting shelled by john madden here yeah because i was going to say that wasn't me because i stopped 10 of 11. all
But that shot, though, boom. I was like, oh, my God.
Oh, listen, I'm with you. Like if it was a real game, I mean, I only like when I was getting, you know, going into the butterfly. I remember it 20 years earlier being a lot easier to get back up on my feet.
Currently? So you mean like this day of this week? Current players. I mean, like red hot right now? Well, no, no. Like this season. Like current NHL boys. Oh, just saying this current... Yeah. Okay. Well, you know, obviously... Igor wants to get paid like the best goalie in the league and he probably should get paid 12 million a year. But I said this on a few other radio programs and podcasts.
I love Igor. Don't get me wrong. I mean, I grew up a Rangers fan and all, but I he's got to be better. Jonathan Quick is pushing him to be better like he did last year. I know Jonathan Quick has only started four games, but he's a .091 goals against, three goals allowed and four starts, 4-0. I think... That guy, the future Hall of Famer, first ballot, is pushing Igor to be better.
And he has to be better. I expect I have Igor up here and he's got to remain up there. But here's what I love about Igor that I don't love about the other guys. And this is my long winded answer, because I could tell you right now, I also love Connor Hellebuck. But Connor Hellebuck has proven he's a multiple Vezina Trophy winner because he has great regular seasons.
I don't know what happens in the postseason with Connor Hellebuck. He's not the same guy. I don't know if they use him too much. And Winnipeg is doing the same exact thing because as we speak today, he's played in 13 games, which is, I think, almost all of their games compared to some of these other guys with the low goals against who have not played as many games.
You know, the Gustafsons of Minnesota is playing great. You know, I can name a few. I mean, Joey Decord is playing great. He's not in the top five, but he's doing great. He's carrying their team. He's played 15 games, one under the league tall. Yeah. How about that? So I don't know what's going on there. So if we're talking about best regular season goalies, I'm going with Connor Hellebuck.
If you're talking about postseason goalies, I got I would I would have it currently. I would have Igor Shostak in there. That's the guy I want, because what I love about him and I bring this up with other sports as well. I don't care about your league MVPs. Regular season means nothing to me. If I want my team to win, how do you do in the postseason?
And especially when you're talking about a goaltender. And I say this about quarterbacks in the NFL as well. I don't care about, you know, the Peyton Mannings back in the day of league MVPs. How do you do in the postseason? It took them a decade to figure out how to do well in the postseason and win a couples
the super bowls one of them he did nothing by the way one of them he did nothing for my guy is eli as you could tell oh yeah eli saved his best for the postseason oh yeah but anyway let's get back to hockey i got a giants fan for a wife so i'm with you like we like the giants in my house we're good i don't even want to talk about it i was down on daniel jones from the beginning the organization is awful
it's sad now it's pathetic now it's absolutely pathetic with it's like i'm i'm i was texting my son i'm like and he's a patriots fan so he doesn't care about the giants forever that's too bad but yeah but he has sympathy for his mom and i'm like oh my god this organization has never been lower um it's just so pathetic and it's just it's sad but anyway what were we talking about goalie so i'd want igor in the postseason i'll take connor hellebuck during the regular season
Yeah, isn't it interesting? Because I talk about the difference in the regular season and the postseason. And, you know, the Rangers, as we all know, have had won president's trophies and had super regular seasons and won divisions, won the Metro. And now they're sort of like, look out now, they're like in a wildcard spot. You know what's going on.
So, you know, I just think there's a malaise there. They played a lot of hockey over the years. And, you know, you have to be careful of that. Like, that's why I'm so surprised pleasantly about the Florida Panthers. Right. I mean, they get there off to this amazing start after playing so much hockey the last two years. Right.
I mean, they went to a final loss and then they they won the cup last year. And that that says a lot. So I'm not panicking about the Rangers. I think guys like Mika is going going to figure it out. I think a lot of the guys are going to be just fine that this team is too deep and talented and they will coach with Peter LaViolette.
But you brought up a couple of teams right now, Carolina and Florida, that are playing much better than the Rangers. And you can make a case the Washington Capitals with Ovechkin, I know he's hurt now, sadly, you know, is a more exciting team. And the Rangers are just scratching out victories.
I mean, as we speak now, you know, they lost by a goal to Calgary, you know, you know, good Ranger teams of the past. And I mean, last year. would not lose by a goal to Calgary, even though the Flames are playing well this year. But these are the kind of things that they're about a goal away, and they're going to fix it. And that's why the season is so long. I'm not worried about the Rangers.
But if we were talking in two months from now, I'd be more concerned. But it's not Thanksgiving yet, so I'm not worried.
I am heartbroken for Ovi because I believed he was going to break it. He heard all the whispers in the offseason like, oh, it's going to take him at least two years to break this record. That's if he stays healthy and all this. And that's if, you know, father time doesn't catch up to him.
And there he was electrifying the league, leading the league in scoring for the first time in a few years at the age of 39. And then, of course, he suffers this broken leg four to six weeks. He's out. As much as I don't want to bet against ever Alex Ovechkin, I just think this is too much of an injury to come back from and pick up where you left off. And that's a lot of goals to make up.
I wouldn't bet on it, but I wouldn't put it past Alex to somehow put it together, put Humpty Dumpty back together again in six weeks and continue on this torrid pace. Washington as a team is going to miss him because they were playing so well with him, right? Yeah. So... I don't know. And he's their captain. He's their leader. So it is it's heartbreaking. It's tough for him, obviously.
And what's at stake and and for the league, because it was pretty darn exciting to see Alex Ovechkin at the top of the goal scoring lead.
It sure is. That's why I don't bet against it. Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right. But you've got to figure... But you got to figure coming back from a broken leg, you got, you know, I would throw in a throw in about six games of warm up. Like you have to go through a preseason again, so to speak. Right.
So, you know, we'll see. We'll see. I'd love to see it. I'd love for it to come down to April. Right. To see how close he is. It would be fantastic.
Yeah. I mean, I can't blame Darnell nurse. I know what you're saying. Hockey players should have their heads up at all times. The guy was playing the, I mean, he should have gotten more because of the history, because it was like a Mack truck running into Darnell nurse. Um, and it got them where it should not have got them in the head. I don't like it. I didn't like anything about this.
And I, I certainly don't blame Darnell nurse. I, you know, you don't blame the victim in this case ever. And, um, I don't know. I'm not a fan of Ryan Reeves. I know he has a great personality and all. But when's he going to learn? Listen, at least, you know, back in the day, you know, went in the back in the day.
But, you know, when Tom Wilson had some issues, many, we still realized he was a really good hockey player with good mitts. He knew how to score goals and he kind of cleaned up his act a bit. He doesn't do stupid things. I think this was a stupid action by Ryan Reeves. I think he should know better because he does have talent. I mean, he was a Ranger at some point.
He's been on a million different teams. This is not right. So I don't like any of it.
That's funny. That's Frank. That's a great line. Yes.
Hey, thanks for inviting me. Anytime, guys. Continued success on the podcast. Well done.
I know, so sad.
The greatest guard of all time.
I don't know. I wasn't that surprised. I mean, he's made so much money with the Cowboys. I don't know exactly what triggered it now, whether it was just not wanting to sign another extension or whatever his contract situation was, but I don't know. It feels like he has been in the league a long time, and it is a very taxing position. Michael Jr.
is the expert of all things Zach Martin, so we should have him on just to ask about something.
It's like if you traded Stugatz to FS1 and then he failed a physical and we were like, oh, come back.
All right, so we're good. Already? They dropped it back down?
Maybe not even that.
Oh, I'm jealous.
I love a sauna. This better be the hottest take I've ever heard in my life.
Thank you.
I appreciate it. That was earnest. Sorry. I said it in my sarcastic voice, but it was earnest. Thank you.
Well said.
There's so many confused people listening, though.
I saw Zygacki last night, by the way. This is why I will never make fun of Mike on air ever again. He graciously gave me his courtside seats for the Miami Hurricanes game as they hosted Notre Dame last night. I sat three seats down from Brianna Stewart.
One of the Notre Dame staff members was like, yeah, we're trying to get courtside seats for Skylar Diggins, who was there, and Enrique and Jewel Lloyd. And we couldn't find any. And I was sitting in Mike's seats with Lehman, and we had one empty seat next to us because we don't have any friends to invite that wanted to see the game. You were touching wood.
He's making it hotter in there.
You would think from this bit that Finland won the Four Nations Cup. You would think that.
Mike, you have an ab now. Why are you in there?
I told you I would give your abs a shout-out for the courtside seats.
Conclave is a banger. Have you seen Enora, Conclave? I loved Anora.
Really?
I was like, you could tell Skylar she could come sit by me.
There is a lot of sex in that film. It's a very good movie. I haven't seen it yet, but I've heard Don't Waste Your Time with the Brutalists.
I did. He was calling the game for ACC Extra, and it was electric.
Oh, man. And I know you haven't seen the new season of White Lotus yet, but Parker Posey and Jason Isaacs are getting killed for their Durham accents, which I love.
Yeah, I also get people that are concerned with the AI creep into the arts. But yeah, there is a lot of AI used for certain programs on computers and cameras and things like that that are sort of widely accepted. But I think it's a worthwhile, to borrow Chris and Stu Gatz's line, I think it's a worthwhile debate. And it's still something that I don't know if anyone has really like a...
perfect answer for yet. Cause yeah, there's like, there's helpful uses for it, but also like we should maintain some sort of like humanity in the arts.
They did lose by 40, but the plus side, Notre Dame is the number one ranked team in the country.
Carson Beck, he's always at the game. I was like, is he bending the elbow? Is it full mobility?
The same.
He's large. He's tall? He's big. But also, his hair is small. Cavenders are both smaller. Hair is small?
They're small.
Also, Notre Dame made these 3D-printed pocket-sized point guard little figurines for their backcourt, Hannah Hidalgo and Olivia Miles. Olivia Miles is electric. Hannah Hidalgo is great, and everyone knows that. But Olivia Miles, electric. One of the greatest passers in the women's game. And seeing her in person was... I mean, her court vision is crazy.
But anyways, I got these cute little figurines. I got a question about the figurine. I met Olivia Miles after the game. We took a picture together.
Like handmade?
I don't know. I guess it depends what it's made. Like a little machine would make it?
Yeah.
Reach out to the innovation lab in South Bend that printed these bad boys.
Good environment. Better than I went to the Notre Dame-Miami men's game, which was a Saturday night game a couple weeks ago.
And I told three teens sitting behind me I was going to call their parents if they didn't shut up because they were being very loud and they were being very inappropriate and saying inappropriate things behind me. And they left and then they stopped. So I got my mom voice down. I scolded some kids.
They haven't seen Notre Dame's men's basketball team.
Well, it's a very exciting time to be a women's college hoops fan and a women's basketball fan in general with Unrivaled tonight. Just a lot of fun things happening. And if you're someone like me who didn't watch NBA All-Star or the Four Nations tournament because you're watching college hoops, I mean, there's a lot coming up this weekend. So very exciting.
That is terrifying.
And they got their cars back?
And that's why Stugatz isn't here today.
We did talk soccer yesterday.
And Tony made a great Tua joke.
God gave all of his eyebrows to Luigi. Yeah.
I know what CONCACAF is. But Tony definitely doesn't.
I've been on a mission to watch every Oscar-nominated film before the Academy Awards next weekend. Who do you have left? Five deep. I have a lot left. I watched five out of the 12-ish that I have on my list. I'm debating next if I should watch the Timothee Chalamet, Bob Dylan biopic, or if I should... Watch Wicked, which I still haven't seen, which I heard is amazing.
The problem is a lot of these movies are plus two hours long. It's just a big time commitment. And it's hard. I want to crush like three in a day. And that's my whole day.
I've seen Onora, which I really enjoyed. I saw Amelia Perez, which was a baffling film. I've seen Conclave, which I also really enjoyed. And A Real Pain, which I also enjoyed with Kieran Culkin.
Really. Why not?
But he's playing a similar character to Roman Roy? Because I've heard people say that. Yeah. He's playing kind of like a shithead little brother. Yeah.
You're right. His character was good, and I think there was enough depth that I don't think it was that similar to Succession, but I could see where you're coming from. The plot wasn't... There wasn't any...
like action it's just like a travelogue through poland with the two cousins as they're trying to like grapple with their uh pain and suffering but also like their ancestral pain and suffering i thought it was well done no doubt definitely a big moment for indiana university because jesse eisenberg war in indiana had the entire film but i liked it i liked it more than the substance mike which i know is your favorite i like the substance more because of the audacity of it i just i i
Okay, this is not really a spoiler, but if you haven't seen The Substance and you don't wanna know anything about it, skip ahead 30 seconds. But the premise of The Substance is that Demi Moore takes The Substance, she's an aging fitness A-list celebrity star in Hollywood, And she takes the substance to be younger, question mark. But like a younger body hatches out of her body.
And then every seven days they switch back. So like the younger body is unconscious and then Demi Moore is out in the world. And then there's like some twists and turns later in the movie. But my question is, there's a younger body that is out in the world while Demi Moore's like passed out in her bathroom. But Demi Moore and the younger body, they're technically supposed to be the same person.
You are one.
But they have different consciousnesses. Because Demi Moore doesn't remember what the younger body is doing or experience being in the younger body. And the younger person doesn't have the experience of Demi Moore when she's awake. It's very confusing. Maybe skip 45 seconds.
What is the appeal, if you're Demi Moore, of taking the substance if you are still in the same body and you don't get to be the younger version? You don't get to actually enjoy it. Right?
How did he know to pick the photo from the Behind the Bit video?
Oh yeah, the effects were amazing and the acting was good and it was disgusting to watch and so it gets major points for that.
I love how many different, they really nailed it with all the different types of cardinals.
And sexism.
Oh, Dennis Quaid was disgusting. Just a foul-mouthed man.
Eating shrimp.
Your most insecure...
Yeah, it's a statement from Yankees managing general partner Hal Steinbrenner. Wow. alteration of Yankees facial hair policy. In recent weeks I've spoken to a large number of former and current Yankees spanning several eras to elicit their perspectives on our long-standing facial hair and grooming policy and I appreciate their earnest and varied feedback.
How are you taking a victory lap today? I feel like Jer Bear should be taking the victory lap.
These most recent conversations are an extension of ongoing internal dialogue that dates back several years. Ultimately the final decision rests with me and after great consideration we will be amending our expectations to allow our players and uniformed personnel to have well-groomed beards moving forward. It is the appropriate time to move beyond the familiar comfort of our former policy.
Did he give them a pump-up speech or something?
is a little icky when the president of the United States is threatening the sovereignty of our friendliest neighbor, threatening tariffs, all of that. I think that was Jeremy's point.
The dean of my Catholic school determines what is well-groomed.
And I still stumbled over how, for some reason.
Listen to Tuesday's show.
Jeremy got shouted down on a number of points that were then proven right within 12 hours.
We don't even have to do all of that. I think the point is just that a lot of people are trying to pretend like this wasn't tense for a particular reason last week. A lot of people are trying to pretend that that's not the case.
That's totally fine. I'm just saying, like Justin Trudeau tweeted last night, you can't take our country or our game. Politics was a big part of the storylines of this tournament, and that's, I think, just... It's why 1980 mattered.
I don't think anyone would be shocked to know.
go that's we know yes we we understand that people with a lot of money tend to skew more conservative it's what when i'm watching the masters i'm like ah i kind of do you think he might be lib no i'm kind of make my assumption at the white house yesterday yeah celebrating our social team really put is jeremy tashay anti-american on twitter thank god here's the thing do we need to have everybody that we watch in sports be on one side or the other like does it matter yes
Tony, that's not what we're talking about. That's not what we're saying. But you guys are parsing. This is a sporting event between teams that represent two countries where one country is fantastic.
Progressivism stands for, like, having basic human rights at this point in history. Like, do you believe that gay people should be married? I don't know. Well, if you don't, I might judge you a little bit for that. But my point is this.
I think you can be disappointed by disagreeing with people's politics.
There's plenty of players that I love watching who I'm incredibly disappointed by constantly. And I still love sports and I still watch sports all the time. I love football. I enjoy the shit out of it. I understand that a lot of my favorite players do not agree with me politically. It's tough. Sometimes there's a line that you draw and you decide, I'm not going to watch that person anymore.
That's every person's individual decision as a consumer of the sports that we watch. And it's obviously a very... shitty and unique situation that this tournament came at this time, where these two countries are in the most tense situation they've ever been before in history. It really is remarkable, the timing. And you can't ignore that.
A lot of people covering sports are being told by their bosses just to ignore all of that. But when the president of Canada is tweeting, you can't take our country after Canada wins, it's kind of tough to ignore that that's happening.
never had issues as long as I've been alive they've been friendly neighbors as a hockey fan it's been awesome to shit on Canada my whole life and make fun of them for not winning any Stanley Cups in my lifetime even though all of their players were the stars of the team that I like that won several Stanley Cups but that's Besides the point.
The tapes. The tapes.
Right. I mean, it's a great, like, there's tons of ethical decisions that you make watching sports and just living in the world every single day. And no one is saying you should, like... change what sport you like because of whatever, Tony. You are welcome to like what you like and do what you do.
However, I just think it's hard to ignore and that if you feel sort of icky and yucky rooting for a team when this is going on in the background, I understand that. That's all I'm saying.
Actually, I wanted to get back on the topic because we've been trying to discuss back here who is the Yankees player who benefits the most from being able to have their facial hair now. So Taylor put together a few photos for us of before and after shots of Yankees with and without facial hair. So here, the first one is Devin Williams.
He just looks great with a beard. So good with a beard.
And then, of course, we have Paul Goldschmidt next, who, you know. Oh, gosh, Paul Goldschmidt.
And the salt and pepper is great. I love a salt and pepper beard.
I think we have one more. Let's see what the next one is.
I mean, I wasn't rooting against Team USA. I swear to God, I wasn't. However, when I heard, as I was falling asleep, I heard the game-winning goal call. I did do a, when I heard Connor McDavid had scored, I did a, and then I rolled over and fell asleep.
And it would have been if the U.S. won.
Always on at the barbershop. Like 2010, maybe.
We've already seen all of it.
Right. Or if every game doesn't hit like a 55. point total it's like that was bad it's like okay wait a second i don't you don't get that yeah you wouldn't understand defense is cool actually um but i'm with you i thought that the semi-final games i i was at the orange bowl or you were at the orange ball too right we didn't see each other that i have only bad things to say about hard rock stadium
I did not have the best time of my life, I'll say that. It was so hard to get around that place on foot, by car, by sea, whichever vehicle or however you were getting around. Just, oh, it was not easy. Plastic and our queso, which I've documented on my social media. Anyways, an all-time classic though. Like, holy shit, was that a crazy third and fourth quarter.
James Franklin's obviously getting slammed for once again, not being able to win a top five game. But at the same time, all of Penn State's players are coming back next year, except for like a couple, a couple big ones like Abdul Carter, for instance. But do you feel good if you're a Penn State fan at the end of the season?
Yes, maybe second to last episode. We haven't recorded in a while because we've been sick, we've been traveling, the show was dark for a couple weeks, the holidays, etc., etc. We don't really have a plan for this show. We're just going to... We're just going to vibe about the playoffs. There's one game left of the college football season.
I would feel not great about Drew Allard, I think. That was, I think, the biggest bummer from the semifinal game was that he just didn't play well. Like you said, Lucy, they haven't thrown to their wide receivers like all season. But luckily, Tyler Warren's like the best tight end in college football. So he helps a lot. But yeah, Allard threw three picks. Two of them obviously got called back.
But the last one was an absolute dagger to Christian Gray, Notre Dame's quarterback. DB corner extraordinaire, only a sophomore. Next year, Penn State has Nevada, FIU, and Villanova to open the season. But then they get Oregon. They have to play Iowa, Ohio State, Indiana, and a couple other big β Nebraska, Rutgers, Michigan State.
I feel bad. Yeah, it might be tough next season once they get through the non-con, but I don't know. We'll see. I still think that they're always going to be a really good football team. They just need to get over that hump, and they haven't yet. And James Franklin was negging Marcus Freeman during the press conference, and it totally backfired. He's like, how old are you again?
And Marcus Freeman was like, I'm 38.
didn't work for what for what james and then he's like you should join a conference it's like okay well i we can't keep doing this notre dame is 4-0 against the big 10 in this season so i can't i i claim you all as a spiritual big 10 team i don't know if i'm allowed to do that yeah that's gross i don't want anything to do with that i think it's accurate i heard you talking shit on godless football but we don't have to talk about that either that doesn't sound like me we're both going to be in atlanta this weekend what are your thoughts on the title game
It's the national championship game between Ohio State and Notre Dame. Since the last time we talked, there's been about 60 bowl games. They were all awesome. There's been a dozen playoff games. I would contend that they were all awesome, too. And we're going to we're going to talk about all of that. But where would you like to start? What's been on your mind these last few weeks?
Yeah, I think Ohio State definitely has the ability to just do that knockout punch, right? So many of their... passes this season have just been to wide open receivers that they're able to just scheme open. They've been playing so well in this postseason, whereas both teams have struggled with injuries on their offensive lines. Notre Dame lost their left tackle in the Orange Bowl.
Their right guard got banged up. They're down four starting linemen. Their best player on defense, Benjamin Morrison, out for the season, who was really effective in covering Marvin Harrison Jr. last year when these two teams played each other. So I think you're right. I think if Notre Dame can keep it close and play out of their minds, especially defensively, this game could be really close.
From a fan perspective, the last three games have been so awesome. And I think Ohio State fans probably agree like it's been like winning postseason playoff football games is not a thing that ever existed in college football really until this season. Like we had semifinals and that was it. But now it's like you get the chance to win multiple New Year's six bowl games in one season.
You get the chance to play against teams that you never really play against in meaningful games in January and December. Being on the winning end of that is pretty cool.
So no matter what, like either Notre Dame is the best team in the country and they win the national championship and I retire from my job and move to an island and never talk to anyone again because I will have no purpose in life anymore. My life will have been fulfilled. Or Notre Dame is the second best team in the country this year and I'll just keep doing what I'm doing now.
So either way, like I'm at peace with it. I'm a happy, happy little camper. And I love college football so much. And it's been a fun season. And I'm excited for the Jennys.
That's what Taylor said, too, after the Orange Bowl. Look, Notre Dame's been really good, and I love that I get to actually talk about Notre Dame because they're in the national championship. No one can be like, stop talking about Notre Dame. Okay, well, when your team is in the national championship, you can have the floor.
Notre Dame has been a really good football team for the last decade, but they have not been able to win ever.
in the postseason they've lost both of their semi-finals when brian kelly was a head coach marcus freeman's now on two in two uh new year six games three playoff games in like three weeks i'm i feel like i'm on cloud nine right now it's great i love winning football games i feel like i'm i feel like i'm a part of it do you have you like noticed the hating going down now that you have a super cool hot head coach
Oh, yeah. I've seen so many national media outlets post the is Notre Dame likable now thing, which I don't care if other fans like Notre Dame or not. That doesn't bother me because like I hate everyone else, too. Like that's part of the sport, right? Like you hate everyone that you don't like and you like the people you like. And it's usually just your own team. Right.
The thing, though, that's annoying, like, they're just doing the, like, yeah, Brian Kelly's not the coach. Like, that's fine. Like, that's all that takes you to be. Because Notre Dame had some very likable players on all those. Like, Kyron Williams, extremely likable. Kyle Hamilton, very likable. Ian Book, what a sweetie pie. Like, there are so many, so many likable players from those teams.
So we're just doing the Brian Kelly-Marcus Freeman comparison, which is fine. I agree with it. Marcus Freeman's, like, one billion times more likable than Brian Kelly. But... If fans are rooting against Notre Dame, that's fine. It's okay. I would be probably rooting against your team too.
Okay, I guess that makes sense. But, like, I... I still find that hard to believe. I don't know. That just doesn't seem right to me. I would never root for USC in a national championship game. I just couldn't do that.
I love that college football goes to the Midwest, Lucy. I mean, that is something that I'm feeling great about this year. It's like, oh, let's talk about the SEC and SEC this and SEC that. There should be 100 SEC teams in the playoff and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Guess what? Both of these teams in the championship, Indiana and Ohio, the heart of the Midwest, the heartland, if you will.
Something crazy happened, and we'll talk about it maybe during the Jennings. Maybe the accidental loss of the season award. I don't know. If you want us to talk about β certain things from this bowl season or football season, send them to us on Twitter and Blue Sky and Instagram. We'll put it together. Next week will be our big award show finale. I'm very excited for that.
All right, Lucy. Well, see you in Atlanta. Good luck. I want you to be happy. I actually genuinely believe that. I would hope so. Even though I heard you talking shit.
He's doing the, he's angrily doing the T signal to signal, you know, fair catch. He was just like not happy at all in that Citrus Bowl game against South Carolina. And I think, you know, we had a good idea of who was going to win the Jennifer Awards before Christmas, but there was so much juicy content and drama during bowl season that now I think we're going to have to rethink everything.
Brett B almost got to win a Jenny Award.
Shane Beamer was the one that was being a little pouty.
Okay, maybe we give our Coach of the Year award. We rename it the Burt of the Year. Oh, I love it.
And he's definitely the clubhouse favorite to win that one. But, yeah, the Citrus Bowl was phenomenal. The Idaho Potato Bowl was phenomenal. The Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl between Oklahoma and Navy. I mean, there were β Obviously, the Pop-Tart Bowl, Iowa State and Miami, there were so many good games.
I think there's been a lot of discourse about the SEC and all these different conferences and the ACC's record in bowl season and all that since bowl season ended. What do you make of the bowl games? Is there anything that we should take away from them other than like, here's 40 free games for everyone to enjoy. Just shut up and have fun.
Yeah, the bowl games averaged 2.7 million viewers for the 33 non-CFP bowl games this season, tied for 21-22 for the best figure since 2.9 million in the 19-20 season. 22 of the 33 saw year-over-year gains. So, yeah. I mean, bowl season, alive and well. If you're like, oh, there's too many bowls, they're not going anywhere. People watch them. They're awesome.
I had one of the greatest weekends of my life. Several great weekends in a row, I should say, watching bowl games into NFL games, into college football playoff games, back into bowl games. It was just nonstop football from 11 a.m. until midnight every single night. Past midnight, if you stayed up for the Las Vegas Bowl, what a comeback from the USC Trojans. So yeah, I'm with you. Just have fun.
Football is fun. We like watching. Yeah.
Just go outside. I did think it was a little jarring seeing Rocco Beck sentence that specific Pop-Tart to death. They were like, which Pop-Tart do you want to eat? And he just it was like literally a death sentence. It was very scary. I think it was the cinnamon, the cinnamon one. And then they just killed him on the spot and ate him. It was that was kind of alarming.
Yeah, and we got to avoid all of the Cam Ward discourse because we didn't have an episode that week. So that's probably for the best because, man, there's one thing that there's been a lot of these last few weeks. It's discourse. It's been, oh, my God, Indiana, what a bunch of losers. The SEC is so much better than everyone else as every SEC team loses their playoff games.
You were at the first Texas home playoff game, the Clemson game, which was for some reason everyone was like that was every game was a blowout. They all stunk. That game, Lucy, was like pretty exciting. What was your reaction to watching that one?
The reaction I had watching that was, like, not one I expected to have about Clemson this season, which was... You probably feel pretty good if you're a Clemson fan going into next year. They just hired Tom Allen, who left Penn State, which I think is really interesting to be the new defensive coordinator at Clemson. They got some shit together by the end of the season.
The South Carolina game was not pretty, but I do think South Carolina was obviously one of the two best teams they played this season between them and Georgia. But I don't know. I feel like if you're a Clemson and now you're finally dipping your toes into the portal... You probably have some good vibes going into 2025.
Yeah, I don't know what to make of Carson Beck either. Because he's going to be coming off of major arm surgery. But at the same time, yeah, he probably is better than whoever Miami has in their quarterback room at the moment. So I don't know what to make of that.
Yeah, Texas was just running the ball all over them. I was at the Notre Dame-Indiana game, which I thought was awesome. And I've already sort of talked about this on air, but going from like...
what a fun game, amazing, like I love it so much, that was so fun, the first ever college football playoff game at a home stadium, what a cool atmosphere, college football is the greatest, to then going online and every take was like, this game sucked and was shitty and a dud and we all hate Indiana and they should die. And I was like, whoa, I was not expecting that reaction.
I thought we were all kind of like, I thought maybe the reaction would be like, wow, Notre Dame's really good, but instead it was like, Indiana, Screw you. And now the last two teams left standing in college football are the two teams that beat the Indiana Hoosiers this season. So were you, as a Big Ten fan, sad to see everyone take their turn taking dumps on Indiana after that game?
That's OK. Your dog is agreeing with you. And I also like if Kevin Jennings hadn't. just completely melted down in the first half. That also could have been a better game, but it's the playoffs. There's nerves involved. Penn State's defense is obviously top five defense in the country this year.
I thought that the opening round games, they were what you would expect watching better teams play worse teams in the first round of a playoff. The good teams tend to beat the not as good teams, and that's why they got to host the games in the first round, and it kind of worked out that way.
We're happy now. Exactly. I would love to see the quarterfinals on campus sites too, I think. If you could rework the whole thing. Personally, I would get rid of conference championship games in general. They... If you're a fan, first of all, there's very limited circumstances in which you travel for one of them. Unless you're an Indiana fan and they're in the Big Ten Championship in Indianapolis.
Oregon fans aren't going to fly across the country for that if they're going to be in the Fiesta Bowl or the Rose Bowl in two weeks. So from a fan perspective, and I know they're never going to get rid of conference championship games because they get great ratings, obviously. I'm just saying if I could...
tweak things, I would just get rid of those, start the playoffs a week earlier, have quarterfinal games on campus in the week that the first round games were, and then have the semifinals on New Year's Day. Because A, they get way better ratings. That's a humongous college football day. And B, I just think it makes more sense. But I digress. The quarterfinals were also, I thought, really awesome.
I'm basically just throwing shade at Stu Gatz in this whole segment and refuting everything I've heard him say over the last month. Because he was like, Boise State and Penn State, boo, that stinks. No. That game was really good, I thought.
The only game that really stunk was Oregon and Ohio State, which we all, like, this is how big of an idiot everyone else is, like, in the whole world, including me. I'm like, oh, this is going to be the best game of the playoffs. Like, if this was a one-point game during the regular season, it would be so good. No.
Hypothetically, Alabama would beat both of these teams by three touchdowns. And Taylor, for some reason, is an Alabama fan, so he's fist pumping. We're kidding, okay? God, it's so annoying. We're all mad. I'm with you. I think that the biggest difference between this...
championship game and any previous championship game is that there's no good argument to say, well, Ohio State, they lost to Michigan, so they shouldn't be in this championship game. Or Notre Dame lost to Northern Illinois. Notre Dame had to play the Big Ten runner up, the SEC champion, and a top four Big Ten team to get to the championship.
Ohio State had to play a top-four SEC team, the Big Ten champion, to avenge their loss in the regular season, and the SEC runner-up to get to this championship game. They both had really difficult draws in the playoff. There's no, like, asterisks. Like, if Penn State had made it, it would have been like, oh, well, they had to play the G5 team and SMU and blah, blah, blah.
Like, I still wouldn't have agreed with that. But I think both of these teams in particular had really difficult paths to the championship game. So even if there is a lopsided championship like we've seen in, I don't know β a half dozen of the last dozen championship games, it's like, well, what else can you ask for from a playoff? Both of these teams had to win three tough games in a row.
Well, I think Kaylin just wanted to do the three-point contest at WNBA All-Star in Indianapolis this year. So, like, there's... No, but if that's her first three-point contest, it's undoubtedly there's more hype that you can build around it at your own league's three-point contest. Like, I think what she's doing is pretty smart there. Yeah.
And also, I I'm with you that the Sabrina stuff thing was like the only all star thing I watched last year. Like it was really fun. And then I forgot there was even a game the next day.
Also, Dan, don't look now, but Notre Dame women's basketball. Speaking of women's basketball, maybe ranked number one when the next rankings come out because USC beat UCLA last night. Notre Dame beat USC earlier in the season. Juju Watkins had a really, really good game. But Hannah Dalgo is also really good. And Olivia Miles is also really, really good.
They're both on the midseason award watch list for National Player of the Year. And they both have a very good shot at it. And Sonia Citron is also really good. So don't look now, but Notre Dame is really, really good at women's basketball.
It's Valentine's Day for me and my oatmeal as well, Dan. We're having a very nice time together this morning.
No, don't look now. Juju Watkins is really, really good at basketball, but don't look now.
Are you asking me if I think he looks sexy or like a Batman character?
Stop. He looked.
Dan, don't look now. Jim Harbaugh, Pete Carroll, back in the same division.
Dan, Don't Look Now, but the Pittsburgh Steelers allegedly interested in Trevor Lawrence.
What gravitational pull is stronger? Mike Tomlin towards 10 plus win seasons or Aaron Rodgers towards being just really not good?
What?
No, I know that. I'm shocked Dan did not know that.
What does your government ID say? What is your middle name, Billy? What is all of it?
What's your whole government name?
More like 50?
Roberto's like the Spanish version of Robert, by the way, Dan. I don't know if you know that one.
You're telling me that this happens all the time.
Also, Billy, this show is wildly popular. It has like six million followers on TikTok.
You know what? This just reminded me. I met him at a different Super Bowl party. I just remembered Charlotte and I went up to him and we're like, Rob Ryan, we're such big fans of yours. And he was like, why? I'm Rob Ryan.
I met Josh Allen that night, too. But the Rob Ryan thing, I repressed.
This is a follow-up question I guess that only Pablo could answer, but is she like his agent or is she just his much younger media savvy girlfriend slash person who's managing his affairs?
Sort of. Not necessarily. Well, is she getting 10%? Is she getting 5%? What's her cut? Just an appearance in the Duncan video? That's probably worth something monetarily. Yeah. I don't know.
Dan, I have a lot of questions about this, but my point is I wouldn't be surprised if a older person dating a younger person had the younger person who probably has more media connections and media savvy sort of like do some of the work there and also be like, I want to be in the commercial.
That's also another name for Don't Look Now.
Well, I mean, it makes a ton of sense. It's not like she's just his agent, Dan. It's like Drew Rosenhaus isn't dating, as far as I know, one of his clients. They're in a relationship, and this has made him infinitely more relevant than just taking a college football job. The fact that he's on a red carpet.
Do you think people are talking more about North Carolina football or him and his young girlfriend on the red carpet at the NFL Honors? Way more people are talking about that right now. This is how he stays cool and hip and relevant.
Thank you. Thank you.
Bill Belichick is doing what we all dream of doing.
Also, Dan, Coconut Grove Art Festival, best weekend of the year, but traffic between Boat Show and Art Festival, woof. Stay home.
I think it's because of how long it takes for the rotation of the Earth.
You didn't watch the ending of UTEP Jacksonville State. It was awesome.
It's a wonderful press conference, Dan. This got buried during Super Bowl week, and you were out of town, and I said, we need to save this for when Dan comes back. It's two minutes of just beautiful... Word salad? No, I mean, he... You can follow where he's going, but it's just as unclear why he's going there. It's just, it's wonderful. So we'll listen to it now.
Until Den of Thieves 3.
It's amazing. I mean, honestly, the hair obviously is the best part of this video, but you can follow the story, right? Like he coached Jaden Maiava's uncle who like got a connection to a car in Hawaii. But like the way he does it, he was walking back and forth. He says, I run things in Oahu. He says he's a great communicator.
He just keeps going on like these little tangents while he keeps walking away and coming back. Oh, it's electric. It's so good.
He's so electric. I saw him in person for the first time at that Miami Super Bowl, and it's the most starstruck I've been in my whole career. This is the same week that I interviewed Joe Burrow and Travis Kelsey and all these other NFL players. But I saw Rob Ryan from behind. I saw his beautiful hair, and I was like, oh my God, it's Rob! I took a picture of him sneakily from behind.
It was amazing.
No, I mean, he's the linebacker's coach. Even better. And he has great hair. And their defense was already a lot better last year when they brought in Danton Lynn. And now they have a Ryan. And not only a Ryan, the best Ryan. Better than Buddy. Wow.
The best Ryan. Whoa. No one has that opinion. Not even Rob. I know. I mean, it's sacrilegious. I'm from Chicago.
That's a strong take. He's right.
Where do they go?
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
It's like the special Lucky Charms that's all charms.
So like there was a time that, and I'll tell you who this person is that I admired. And I said, that'd be a great career for me. Ryan Seacrest.
Yes, I didn't even think about that. Wow, that's a theater right there. This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugats.
Billy, I've never seen this before. It's Reese's Puffs. Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Lucky Charms.
I feel like that would be, it's like the sweet marshmallows of Lucky Charms, the peanut buttery Reese's Puffs, and then the cinnamony CTC.
That sounds like it'd be amazing. You put a bowl of vanilla ice cream and you put that on top as a little topping. You mix it in and make like a milkshake with it.
I think he would really like the Kelsey mix.
Do you think people are finding out as they're watching this today's Valentine's Day? Are we doing a solid for a bunch of listeners that forgot?
So if you're listening to this live, it's Friday morning, what, Billy, is a good thing for our listeners to get their significant others that it's not too late? Because we all know there's going to be a long line at the florist right now. Don't waste your time in the florist line. What should they get them, Billy?
These people have already forgotten. We're past that point now.
This is the cereal we ate on our first date.
That means you want to win.
I thought Valentine's Day was about having a fun, sexy time.
I guess I am the only unmarried person on the show right now.
What does bad laundry day entail? I've never heard of one of those.
I mean, maybe like a very... We mentioned this very briefly yesterday. Maybe a very unhydrated pee.
Like really bad on the pee chart in terms of not staying very hydrated. So a very dark urine state.
So he's dehydrated, is what you're saying.
Not that he has... Not that he's pooping himself as a result.
Sounds liver-related. Kidney-related, perhaps.
One of the lower organs, perhaps.
Well, because you're here.
What about baby Jesus? He was swaddled.
Speaking of people, the last thing he retweeted was the story about Noah Lyles challenging him to a race, which I'm not like, oh man, I want to watch this. I care so much about the track versus football. I would watch the shit out of this. I would watch this race.
You sound like my wife, honestly. This is the most at-home I've ever felt, is the way you're talking to me. Don't worry about me. Worry about yourself.
Well, before he loses the race, potentially.
Which apparently is on sometime this spring or summer.
And literally present.
This is the Don Levitar Show with the Stugats.
Sounds like a great present to their wives.
But if you were Chris Cody's wife, wouldn't you be like, yeah, get out of town?
No, it's funny you mentioned the work part because my plan was to get Lehman's present on the way home from work. But then he surprised me with mine at like 7 a.m. And I was like, oh, come on. Like, why are we doing this so early? I'm not ready yet. And now I have to be like, by the way, here's your present. Yes, I did get it this morning.
I'm getting him fresh bait. So, I mean, I couldn't have got it ahead of time.
I feel like I see worms. Really? Yeah.
Exactly like living in New York City. You'll walk down the street and all of a sudden your dog is eating a rotisserie chicken. And you're like, where did you get that?
Francis goes nice until Thanksgiving-ish.
He should just do a Costanza, show up at practice the next day and pretend like nothing ever happened.
It's the worst job in football.
You're not even betting on yourself. You're just betting that you're going to return a fund. You're betting on the fact that you're going to fumble. You're betting against yourself. Could have scored a touchdown.
That's true. You're good.
You mean this Saturday.
I thought you meant the Notre Dame game, which is next Friday. I won tickets in the lottery. Oh, really? Yeah, don't have to go on the secondary market. Very exciting. Face value.
Well said. Yeah, I mean, I think it's going to be a great game. I'm really excited. It's like two teams that never play each other, where every single person who's a fan of either team is either a fan of the other team also or knows someone who is. Like, it's a very two kind of close-knit thing.
fan communities i think so i'm excited my best friend went to indiana a lot of my friends went to indiana indiana um it's it's great i think it's going to be super cool but yeah this saturday bowl season starts there is a bowl game this saturday hawk i know you played in a couple bowl games while you were at toledo yeah big time bowl games detroit one of the motor city bowl right and then you played in the gmac bowl which is in alabama mobile alabama to be specific
So Toledo is actually playing in the Detroit Bowl game against Pitt this year.
Yes, Pitt, yeah. I know you're from Johnstown, Johnstown Flood. We've been over David McCullough's wonderful book on the flood.
It does need to be a movie. Who would you cast in the movie of the Johnstown Flood?
As Andrew Carnegie?
DiCaprio could be a good evil Andrew Carnegie.
Oh, we're going to build our fancy retreat in this place.
Exactly.
Also, Altoona's been in the news a lot lately. We discussed Altoona and The Curve on the show prior to the most recent news.
People say that about him all the time.
What is it like as a football player at Toledo to play in the postseason and play in these bowl games? Because I personally love bowl season.
Yeah, exactly. I've been slightly saddened that the sort of... seven and five team to eight and 14 bowl games have been not devalued because they're not devalued to me, but it seems like there's less enthusiasm from a lot of people now that we have the 12 team playoff. So as a player, I guess, what's your perspective on bowl season in general?
So if your team was like five and six going into the last week of the season, would you like maybe, you know, not try that hard?
But like season's over if you lose.
I have family in Toledo, Ohio. I've been there a million times.
There's a great science museum there, though.
Damn it. It's like, what, 15 extra practices that you get for bowl season? So would your perspective have been different if you made the Bahamas Bowl or the Hawaii Bowl?
So the problem here is theβ The destination, absolutely.
That makes a lot of sense.
Well, I'm checking the stats on the 2005 GMAC Bowl and the 2004 Motor City Bowl. What does it say? You're not on either box score.
In this case, you'd rather have one catch for one yard.
Because you were a freshman.
The problem, Hawk, is that your defense gave up 17 points in the first quarter to Orlovsky.
I mean, that's a tough place to come back from.
Better second quarter for the Rockets, but when you're down 17-0. What can you actually do?
I was in the slot?
Why were we arguing about MAAC teams on this show a couple years ago? It might have been when Notre Dame almost lost to Toledo in 2021. I was like, hey, Toledo's got some dudes. They put dudes in the NFL.
It was so disgusting. We all would have quit. I would have quit just to be outside of the weather.
It was disgusting. I mean, please. You guys all would have walked. You wouldn't have stayed out there. Arthritis going. Arthritis.
I think I saw Ryan Rucco one time at Disney. Why are we putting that up there? I did not approve of this. You took a picture? I did not post it on social. That's the old me. I used to do that. Hold on a second. They don't have your phone, so you gave that photo to them in some way.
How did that picture that I took on my phone end up on television? Who did this?
You want to know a fun fact? That guy is a year younger than Andy Milonakis. What?
I know I can't speak. That was fun. I'm glad no one pointed it out.
He won at the old age of 29. There you go, man. They removed the age restriction. They removed the age restriction. But he had gray hair, I think, at the time.
He was like one of those early gray guys. Yeah.
Maybe dyes his hair also. Cisco didn't have gray hair, if we're going to be honest. No? What? That was gold hair. Yeah. Or silver. Silver. No, it was gold hair when it was Drew Hill. Then it was silver hair when it was Thong Song.
Mm-hmm. I remember Thong Song came out. I was like in sixth grade, seventh grade. It was like a dance party.
No, like I worked in a store. At first I started in the back. I was, you know, the one putting the sensors on things. And I was a stock guy. Then I worked my way up cashier. Okay.
It's not just any branch. It became not fun. When I started, it was like a little tiny store. And I was like, this is fun. I went in. He helped create like a $40 million business. No, I applied as a joke. I didn't think that they would hire me. And then they did. And I was like, now what?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I could see where that's a boom.
Yeah, and it was small at first, like $4 million a year. When I left, it was like, serious, like, you gotta send us your school schedule, and we're gonna, basically, like, if I wasn't in school, I had to be at work, and I was like, I don't know about all this. Because it was like a $40 million a year store. At that point, it was like number four in, like, the...
the whole company in terms of sales, because like people would come from South America, fly into Miami international airport, get on the expressway, drive five minutes, go to the mall that was right there. Just buy a bunch of stuff, put it in a suitcase, get right back on a plane, fly back and sell it for like 10 X. Cranking out thongs.
Oh, wow. It took me back. Wow. It's like a time machine right now. Same accent and everything.
I think it's mine. You want him to come on and be like, kid's dull. He sucks. No, no.
Not me. If something happened and you had to get in a fight with Mike Tyson at a track meet open field. Mm-hmm. You're not in a boxing ring, so you're not confined to that space.
How would you do it? How do you go after him?
I don't know, like a thing like that, like my dad could beat up your dad. Tell your dad to come down.
Double middle name?
He doesn't have the lateral movement anymore. I feel like you could wear him out.
Well, he didn't punch your kid.
If Mike Tyson hit your kid, your kid's dead. I hate to tell you.
Well, if he murdered your kid, fine, you can grab a weapon. I'm talking about a scenario where the kid wasn't murdered yet.
You're a hunter, right? And you're minding your business in the wood. And all of a sudden you hear someone calling out and screaming inside a house. And you run into the house and it's your kid trying to deliver food to what your kid thought was a grandmother. But it's Mike Tyson dressed up as a grandmother but also part wolf. What would you do?
Beyond just making commentary like, yo. Like, yo, bro. I think he just swung on us.
Someone should stop that.
Have you ever gotten a beer bottle, cracked it on the bar, and gone and stabbed someone in the neck? Yeah, Billy.
Thank you.
Parrish. Yes.
I have more info for Ty Jerome if you want to make a decision one way or another. Sure, give it to us. So his paternal grandmother was active in the civil rights movement. Okay, man. However, his favorite player in the NBA growing up was Steve Nash.
I had a track meet in Lafayette, Louisiana. Holy crap. Whoa, Billy.
I have a question for clarification purposes. Let's say white is day, white is snow. You get in a horrible accident, blood transfusion. Got it.
We're driving up to Disney later. Well, okay.
But it's not for my birthday. We're not going for Mickey Mouse. It's a coincidence? No, it's that we got these Florida resident passes and they expire. So I have to use it before May.
And then we wouldn't have been able to do it.
Get it done before May.
The thing is that it's four days. We burned two a couple weeks ago, and we have to use the other two. So we've got to do it before mid-May. And April, Disney is already getting dangerous. It is hot. So we've got to get these done before it gets way too hot.
Is that Amino Hassan?
I hate to tell you, in that instance, like, is that Rachel Nichols?
Sometimes death's the option, right? Swampy ass sucks.
They're both bad. Yeah, like the diaper ass situation.
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Don't you feel like they kind of own we are, and you guys own dressing up like leprechauns? That's sort of the thing you all own? We own them, so... Oh, you see, we got it! Yeah, we're getting the heck out of here. It was a great game. It was a lot of fun, but I knew that we needed to wrap things up when early in the fourth quarter, Rose looked at me and said, I'm cheering for the Flying Irish.
I said, what? She said, yeah, the Flying Irish. And I said, Rose, uh... The Fighting Irish? She goes, oh, well, they go like this, so I thought they were the Flying Irish. And she had been cheering for the Flying Irish the whole day. She had already driven over the median. It's been a day, so we need to go. See you in Atlanta. And congrats, Jess.
I don't think this is unique to Miami. I really just think this is like a it's a zoning thing, like more residential looking buildings are zoned for commercial use. And then like a doctor moves into it.
Well, I mean, you grew up in New York. Yes. This maybe is... also an exception because it's an older city but like there's a lot of offices and doctor's offices and stuff in new york that were clearly in old buildings that people lived in like an apartment building but they're all buildings that's a difference like it's like it has to be multi-story is that yeah
I would describe it as guy in a button-down with a sweater on.
Thank you.
I don't think you want to talk about the game anymore.
Yeah, I moved on to the All-22.
It's Coach's birthday, actually. No way! Happy birthday, Marcus Freeman. The stroke of midnight last night as he was throwing oranges on the field. He turned 39.
I agree, but you told me to stop, so I'll stop.
That was 15 miles away last night.
That was the college football semifinal that my alma mater played in.
That's fine. That's correct. Hey, better than losing the Pop-Dart Bowl. That's right. I'm psyched. Whoa, why didn't I catch a straight?
By the way, we're going to kick your ass week one. Kick your ass. I feel so great about it. I don't care. I'm happy.
It's definitely a top five in-person, maybe top three in-person game. But yeah, unfortunately, I wasn't able to stay for the Sugar Bowl. I wish I could have, but we just couldn't change our flights. It was a whole mess.
But the Indiana game in the first round, which, again, going back to something we talked about on Monday, it's a bummer that the narrative around that game was like, oh, man, Indiana sucks. They're so stupid and bad. That game was awesome, too. That was a great game. So I'd say maybe those are one and two. And there's a number of Notre Dame games I've been to in the regular season that come close.
But, yeah, last night was awesome.
Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, I think it already is. Like, I think winning the Sugar Bowl, beating the SEC champion in the Sugar Bowl was the best postseason.
No, the Steelers have won two Super Bowls in my lifetime. Those were pretty great. Yeah, and the Cubs winning the World Series was, like, one of the best nights of my life. I feel very lucky as a sports fan, even though Chicago sports in general are a dumpster fire. Thank God my mom's from Pittsburgh. Yeah. Yeah, in terms of Notre Dame seasons, which is why I want to give credit to Marcus Freeman.
Honestly, I don't think you can say enough about what he's done for this team. I've watched Notre Dame teams like this that have had great players and been great not be able to pull it out in those spots. And that's why I was trying to make the comparison between James Franklin and Brian Kelly. I think they have a lot of similarities. I think they both should get credit for being great coaches.
But until they win that big game, that is always going to be the knock against them. And I think where the difference is for Marcus Freeman is that I don't think Notre Dame was playing the best game of their season last night. They certainly didn't look like the same team that I watched last week and the week before.
in the playoffs, but he coaches this team to the next level and every single player is bought into him and to the program. And I think he should be the topic of conversation today. It shouldn't just be about James Franklin blowing another game against a top five team.
It should be about the fact that Marcus Freeman has already accomplished more in three seasons at Notre Dame than Brian Kelly or any of the coaches in the last three decades were able to do in multiple seasons. So I have to just say happy birthday to Marcus Freeman, man. I hope he enjoys it.
Well, no, that would have been weird. I don't get that.
Okay.
What do you think about it? Do you approve or disapprove? It's fine. I'll take fine. I'll take it.
It's like a B-. Don't settle for that.
Two more players come in and try to tackle him low.
I'll also say one thing about Jeremiah Love is that after the first contact, not number six, right there, the ability to make the hurdle, even though that was a small hurdle, make that hurdle and maintain his balance is something he's done this entire season. He's done it in almost every game.
He's able to get in the air, come down on an injured knee, one healthy knee and one injured knee, maintain his balance and still have the force to keep moving forward. That is a player who's done that. This entire football season, he scored a touchdown in every single game except for the Sugar Bowl, where he was definitely feeling that injury. And he's an incredible player.
He'll be back next season. He's only a sophomore. He's just so talented. And one of the many reasons why Notre Dame is in the position they are to play for a national championship. Jeremiah Love should get so much credit for that touchdown run. He should.
so gutsy and like that's just how the team played this entire game this Notre Dame team I think Marcus Freeman deserves all the credit today because like you said Mike it was 10-3 going into the half it felt like it could have been 30-0 the way that Penn State was playing and And Notre Dame didn't tuck their tail between their legs and say, oh, man, we're hurt. We're gassed.
We had to play seven days ago. We're going to give in. We're going to give up. We just don't have the juice tonight. They fought through a really substantially just bad game. bad football game and were able to stay in it and match Penn State touchdown to touchdown until the end of the game. That's coaching.
There was a lot of coordinator battling going on last night between Al Golden and Kotelnicki, the Penn State play caller who's had a really good season, I think, with Penn State's offense. I think Tyler Warren is as advertised. He's a spectacular player and completely... opens up that offense. But, I mean, Notre Dame didn't give up. And it sounds corny and cliche to say it.
I've watched Brian Kelly lose some of these games before. And I think when it comes to Brian Kelly, I think the James Franklin. Brian Kelly conversation is a similar one where they're both great football coaches. I don't think anyone can say with a straight face that they're not. And James Franklin's put a tremendous amount of top talent in the NFL. He's won so many games.
You can't just write off winning 10, 11 win seasons like you can't write that off. He's a great, great football coach. It sucks that they are once again on the wrong side of a close game against a top five team.
No, he obviously is.
He's a great football coach. You can't say he's not a great football coach.
Probably the Toledo Bowl game a week ago. I was on a football high. I was on a football high after that. Come on. Narduzzi, learn the overtime rules, buddy. No, I mean, look, I know it sounds corny. I don't give a shit. I've watched this football team my entire life, Dan. This is the best coach Notre Dame football team I've seen in my life. Marcus Freeman deserves all the credit.
For everything he's done for this team, I think the coordinators, Denbrock and Golden, deserve credit. Biagi, the special teams coordinator, deserves a ton of credit.
That's literally what it is.
No, I was at the Orange Bowl.
Hey Dad, welcome to Off Rose and I am Rose, if you didn't know, at the TazΓ³n de la Naranja, the Orange Bowl, where Penn State and the Irish are playing.
Gets pepper sprayed one time, thinks she's the center of the universe. Did you grow that beard yourself? Is that natural? No. No? Good. Well, you would have had some serious hormone problems. Okay, do you guys think it's kind of messed up that Notre Dame's not in the conference?
Yeah, there's just that one that stands out. Do you think you should be allowed to compete for the national championship game if you've lost to Northern Illinois?
That's what I know. I was asking. Do you think they should be allowed to compete since they lost to Northern Illinois?
That's what I'm asking. You're not listening. That's why playoffs are at the end of the season and not at the beginning. Do they get to be like, hey, we're national champions if Notre Dame wins the national championship? They can say we're cousins with a national champion.
Well, they will. The way the bracket is set up.
It's okay. I'm bad at this. What's the name of your quarterback?
Oh, is he good?
Oh, he runs? Half of your group is mute. You guys are just standing there. I love it. This is good. Do you rather play if you win Ohio State or Texas?
Okay, that's not the, once again, you guys are asking, you're answering questions I'm not asking. Okay, raise your hand for Texas. And raise your hand for Ohio State. Hell yeah. He speaks.
Are you here to see Oregon or Georgia?
Wait, are they going to stop playing? No. Where's Oregon? How hot is Marcus Freeman?
Oh, extremely. I'm a man, but I'm a man's man. He's a good-looking dude. Great body.
But, like, how hot is he, like a hottie? He's a good-looking dude.
Okay, what about James Franklin? Is he a hottie or no?
Have you ever heard the term, like, he aged like fine wine? Yeah. He's aging more like boxed wine. ND! We are... Penn State!
You're welcome.
I was in that suite like that for the Miami Open final.
I did see a lot of Penn State. The Penn State fans were super locked in, really loud, really fun. They were so excited. I have nothing bad to say about them. But after the game, to your point, when you're in the bad place, I saw so many Penn State fans arguing with each other walking out of the stadium. And I was like, man, I've been there.
Yeah, I think it was probably like 60-40 Penn State-Notre Dame.
It was a lot of Penn State fans.
I have a question. But you grew up in Johnstown, so you don't have any Penn State or Pitt. You're not on either side of the Penn State-Pitt thing because you're kind of closer to Pittsburgh, right?
I'm just surprised, because Western PA is very... And Central PA. If you're Pitt, you hate Penn State. If you're Penn State, you hate Pitt. And I feel like there's not a lot of people stuck in that.
Can I tell you about the food in the non-sweet? Because Lehman and I got a tray of nachos around the third quarter, and he bit into the queso, and there was a little shard of plastic in it. that he almost broke his tooth on. And then the next drive was the Angele field goal drive, and then Notre Dame scored a touchdown right after. Notre Dame dominated the middle of the season, by the way.
But we saved the little piece of plastic because everything changed.
Well, I think people were already saying that about James Franklin even after the SMU and Boise games, regardless of last night. I think the path that Penn State got, they earned through the regular season. They made it to the Big Ten Championship. They lost to Oregon, obviously. But we're not going to do the whole, did they belong to be their thing?
I don't think that's true because they would have had two losses.
Yeah, I think that that's probably maybe true. I don't know. Losing the conference championship game, I think, would have kept them out of the top four because they would have had a loss to Ohio State and to Oregon. I don't think they would have made a final four.
whatever besides the point like the difference Dan is that like now in the last three weeks Marcus Freeman is a third year head coach he has won two top five games in eight days and James Franklin has won one in the last 10 years so 11 yeah one in 15 in the last 11 seasons
Not the second one. First one was the hold, I think, on Christian Gray in the first half. Yeah, fine. The second one, the pass interference that they called on Watts was supposed to be on Adon Shuler. That was the classic underthrown DPI bailout play where everyone's saying, oh, you have to turn around and look at the ball. No, you don't. That's not the rule.
Everyone that says that doesn't understand pass interference. And they got completely bailed out by a terribly thrown football into triple coverage in the end zone.
Were there any Orange Bowl committee members in your suite with the orange jackets?
Dude, fight me for it.
While we're talking about the Orange Bowl committee members, were you there pregame when Brady Quinn was giving a plaque to Urban Meyer and they announced Urban Meyer on the speaker and he was on the Jumbotron? The entire stadium was booing and they were trying to use Brady Quinn as a meat shield so people like the Notre Dame fans wouldn't boo.
But that was the loudest the stadium was the entire game. Everyone came together and booed Urban Meyer on the field during pregame. It was crazy.
Speak to the all 22.
I was going to ask you about that play because it was like, man, what a terrible drop. He's wide open. But I haven't gone back and watched the tape yet, obviously, because I got home at like 2 a.m. last night.
Not yet. Literally, the minute I get home, I mean. I will be watching the L20. I'm so excited. And then I will watch the game broadcast, and then I will take a 13-hour nap. But I thought also it looked like it was thrown low and behind. So was that also what you saw?
Wait, but who is it?
Yes, I would say that's accurate. It was a absolutely batshit college football game. I'm curious what it was like watching it on TV. Did it feel as insane and just weird as it did in person?
Wait, so what's going on with Jimmy Butler this week? Ha ha ha!
Yeah, tremendous drama. I was crying, screaming, throwing up. It was just the most, I disassociated for the entire halftime show. I don't even know who that guy was, but he was singing a country song.
I don't know how to answer that, though.
How am I supposed to answer that? I mean, like, do people come up to me at tailgates and, like, take pictures with me?
If I say yes, I sound like a tool. And if I say no, I'm lying.
Field goal drive of the year. It was...
He was like, you should get aggressive in this spot. He's not going to throw an interception. And like two plays later, he threw a bone-crushing interception to Christian Gray, which set up Notre Dame to kick the game-winning field goal. Yeah, I mean... What a freaking game. It was awesome. It was so loud on that Penn State side, too.
And like it seemed like it was actually really bugging Notre Dame and Riley Leonard when the offense was on that side of the field. And I mean, for these ballgames to feel like a college football game, like that's a tough thing to do in an NFL stadium. And that felt like a real college football game. And it was just an incredible atmosphere and so much fun.
Yeah, I felt terrible. I and like Dan alluded to it in the shadow show, but I was in like the Notre Dame parent section. And during the game, I was next to Xavier Watts's family. And like we were we were right against a railing. And like I had my head like over the railing, my head down. Thanks, I guess. The tickets were nice. We weren't in a suite or anything.
Yeah, Ryan Clark was a few seats away from us, too.
double you got double i was like hey i work for the levitar show i'm a huge fan but also i'm a steelers fan and like you're my hero and then like an hour later we were adapting each other up after the christian grain reception but anyways i mean to your point like i was like head bent over like i can't believe this like they're this team looks so gassed they haven't played like this all season long like just bad in the trenches in a way that i haven't seen and like mike mentioned like losing two linemen in the first half is brutal
The defensive line is completely decimated. There's three starters out just on the line. And Howard Cross is playing with one leg. Jeremiah Love's playing with one leg. It still scores that touchdown somehow. That's an iconic moment.
Yeah, the second half, I'm bent over in pain. I can't watch. I can't look at the field. And the players' families, literally, one of the players' moms is rubbing my back. She's like, it's going to be okay. We got this. We're going to win. It's okay. We got this. And I was like, I can't even watch.
I had so much fun. First of all, tailgate lots didn't open until 2.30. Orange Bowl, figure it out. That's bad. From 2.30 until kickoff at like 7.30, I had the time of my life. And then from 7.30 until like 11.30, I was in a bad, dark place. Do not read my text message thread with Mike Golick Jr. I'm going to burn that. No one should ever see the things that...
things that I said um no I mean I think that like in a lot of ways this season was a success for Notre Dame no matter whether or not they had won last night they beat Georgia last week in the Sugar Bowl they broke the New Year's Six Sugar Bowl game or the New Year's Six Bowl game losing streak they had a 13 win season like it's a they beat Indiana in the first round like it's a really good season for Notre Dame but obviously you want to win a championship and you want to win
the game that's in front of you. And it was excruciating watching that team with all the injuries like they have, especially in the trenches where they've been so solid this season and on defense where their defense has been pushing around other teams all season. It just was a hard game to watch because I know that this team is
better than that and I think a ton of credit has to be given to Penn State because they look like the more organized team for a lot of that game they were able to put pressure on Notre Dame and they were able to really maintain that level of dominance in the lines that Notre Dame did to Georgia seven days ago so yeah it was it was painful to watch because I know this team is honestly like they're better than that and I'm I'm super happy they won totally like a toss-up outcome given where the game was at in the fourth quarter but um regardless I was like trying to
try to maintain some perspective on the season while watching my soul get crushed and then like by the grace of god and marcus freeman they somehow came back and won that game and put together two really competent quarters even though riley leonard threw like a awful interception and you know was out for a series in the first half like it was
Brutal to watch, but the release of tension after the game, going into the tailgate lot for like an hour afterwards and seeing all my friends there and family members and friends, parents, like seeing Mitch Jeter's dad walked by and I gave him a, yeah, Jeets. It was awesome and like made up for all of the stress of the previous four hours.
Bill Belichick.
Well, Kim did. Apparently, she got some sort of law degree there, right? A business school degree, right, Pablo?
One of the great memes of all time. Her posing in front of it. Use it anytime I don't buy something.
I'm glad you brought up Dan because we wanted to play a clip of Dan Patrick talking about Dan from their one on one conversation earlier this week in New Orleans.
I would like to add, they're not allowed to make those jokes, okay? Only we can make those jokes.
This blows my mind that you guys thought he was like from the Italian Renaissance or something.
The AB. But like you've seen what his art looks like.
I actually don't know Sally Jesse Raphael. What show did she host?
What? Yes. Were you the father? Ryan Nanny took us to a taping of the Maury Povich show.
Yes, because they film in Stamford, Connecticut. It was like a SB Nation field trip. He took the whole video team there. It was one of our coworkers loved Maury. And so he just took us all. We sat there. They take three episodes and we took a bus back to our. Did you get a paternity episode? It was a paternity episode. I think it was a polygraph episode.
No, didn't get a phobia episode. But I grew up watching Maury because it was always on in the middle of the day. When you get home from school. Yeah, it was always on. My babysitter loved Maury, so I just watched it every single day.
I was. The camera cut to me like I was in the front row. I didn't mean like I was a participant.
I mean, he's made a lot of money capitalizing off of just sprinkling salt on things. I can't put salt on anything now without doing this.
I don't think you automatically get genius status just because you made a lot of money doing, like, one thing. You have to do two things. You could be really good at it, but there's also, like, ways to make a lot of money doing one thing that, you know, are sprinkling salt.
Also, I have, more importantly, two things that existed at the same time. Grover Cleveland and butt plugs.
Og is like, you know what I think would kind of feel good?
She doesn't chew wires, but thank you for looking out for her.
But she doesn't. She never has.
Are you guys excited for the halftime show?
No, we're teammates. Oh, okay. We're running a weave.
Okay, so Kendrick Lamar's doing the halftime show, and I walked in this morning, and I was like, oh, well, what if this whole thing with Drake was kayfabe, and Drake came out, and they did Poetic Justice together, and it was like this whole big fake beef so that they could have this crazy Super Bowl halftime show, and everyone was like, oh, that would be so funny.
And then Carl was like, he can't play Not Like Us because he'll get sued because of this defamation lawsuit. The damages will be even higher if he plays it during the Super Bowl. So his take was he can't play that song.
He doesn't trust him on baking, cooking.
I was just making up random things, but yeah, directions.
I think the theory, though, is that the Super Bowl is more watched than any of those things. And so the damages, if he is found guilty, would then increase.
We want everyone to sing about the... No, I know, but... No, I'm agreeing with you, Chris.
That's what all lawyers say about everything. So let's start with that. Lawyers are always going to be like, don't do something.
He won record of the year. I hear you, Izzy, but I think it's only one of probably 10 songs he's going to play parts of during it. But everyone's going to be mad if he doesn't play it. Everyone.
Isn't that the instrumental?
So the poetic justice collaboration on stage probably not happening because that was my favorite conspiracy theory that I thought of this morning.
This is what Friday shows are for. We get to call back from earlier in the week.
Ja, das habe ich nicht. Denn er ist klar sehr involviert in der Produktion des Netflix-Shows. Aber zu deinem Punkt, wenn du all seine VerschwΓΆrungstheorien und all die schrecklichen Dinge, die er gesagt hat, aus einem FuΓball-Redemtion-Standpunkt. Wir wissen bereits, was dieses Jahr passiert ist. Wir wissen schon, dass das Jets-Ding ein kompletter Fehler gewesen ist.
Ich werde das wahrscheinlich nicht sehen, aber wenn ich das sehe, dann ist das mein Wunsch. Wie ehrlich werden die Leute sein, wenn es um seine Einwohnung und seine Rolle in diesem Jahrs-Jets-Saison geht?
Yeah, I felt like I lost my soul, myself, my happiness, my joy. I really understood depression and anxiety and like complete soul detachment. Shailene Woodley, Robert Sala, handshake me.
And he's not here for the cheese.
I don't think you have to feel bad for that if he's making a Netflix documentary about his life. I don't think you have to be like, I don't want to get into his personal life if he's like, here's my personal life. This is the stuff that I'm into right now. Fair enough. Yeah.
This gives you an incentive to say, okay, well, it's still not too bad to stay in-house at ESPN in this world of creators and YouTube and social media where everybody is trying to build their own thing, much like this company here who has the ability to do so.
I was in the wave of games on Thursday that sucked.
That was like my era.
That was a good one.
And you wonder why Stephen A. makes the big bucks.
Taylor told me. Taylor told me three days ago.
You know, when you say it like that, now I think the fan deserved it. Now I'm like, you know what? I get it. He's allowed to be intoxicated on the field. He's intoxicated with Lions football. That's what I mean. I should have qualified that.
That is worse. There's no version of that that sounds better.
Is he a volunteer? Because that's how you're describing him.
It might have been able to get him paid here instead of the internship he's clearly doing. He's being paid. Oh. But no insurance.
Wow. Okay. I mean, that would explain why he's under the desk of Mike.
He looked over at you over his left shoulder.
They sound like fans. Nobody cares. It gives a damn about what's planned in the state. They're better because they have better players. They have more money. They have better recruits. If you take the whole team of Alabama and you put them on Toledo, guess who's going in the playoff?
You know why, Jess? Their players sucked, okay? It wasn't rocket science.
No. As you can tell from the brothel hostel situation, my word association is a little off today. But thank you. I should get the makeup from earlier.
No, no, no, no.
Well, I felt like when people say, like, hey, do you need makeup? And I've, like, never requested makeup. I'm like, well, I would rather you just tell me, hey, bro, you got blemishes.
Exactly. Me either. And I'm like, well, yes. If you're telling me I need makeup, then please don't have me in here not looking like a heartthrob.
Per person.
Crack staff. I'm actually sweating right now because it is hot. You can use a little power. I'm used to a little colder weather, like when you play in the atmosphere of somewhere like Toledo and you've got 28,000 screaming fans, right? That's a tough environment for anybody, SEC or not.
No. I mean, you could probably play that clip and then make a callback to the Stephen A. Smith situation, right? Because that is economics of anything.
Not that callback. What are we doing here? I forgot who that was, but then Chris reminded me of who it was that you said you liked.
Yes, Lord, deliver us from... From all these pick sixes. Yeah, from these pick sixes.
I was going to say, I'm looking how to jump into this. This is a very weird situation I'm in currently in this conversation.
To which, yes, would be that answer.
Yeah, I'm just... So what, is this all bad?
When they're going, he goes, stays with somebody, and turns into a brothel. That's where my brain just subconsciously took it.
Hostel, brothel.
There's E's and there's O's.
Hostels need a better PR agent.
Brothels need a better PR agent, am I right?
No? Yeah. Brothels are the... I'm confused about all this. I'm just kidding. Hostels definitely need a better PR agent.
Yeah, me either.
I've only ever seen them in movies.
That sounds dangerous because I watched the movie and I just now associate when there's a hostel, there's a brothel not too far away from it.
I'm sure there are.
Here's what I'll say about the Stephen A. Smith contract now that I acted like I wasn't going to say anything. is now it's like football in the sense you've pushed the veteran money up and you've pushed the rookie money up. Pat McAfee being the rookies where Sam Bradford was coming in and they were like, they're making too much. But then also the veterans were making money.
Then they put the rookie wage scale on and it ruined everything. Because now you're capping the guys coming in early, and now nobody can make money. You're cutting veterans. So the fact that now everybody's getting paid, both the rookies and the extreme vets like Stephen A. Smith, I feel like that's a great situation to be in for talent. To your point, Mike.
Yeah. And it also prevents... When I think about McAfee, who obviously is incredible, I have a ton of respect for McAfee. I've looked up to what he's built on his own and then leveraged it literally anywhere and everywhere because he's like, I am the entity. Well, now for someone like Stephen A. Smith, again, to your point, who sees that,
Aber die Detroit Lions sind so gut, Mike. Ich verstehe, was du sagst. Und ich habe das in Teams gesehen, wo du... Ich wΓΌrde sagen, das geht mehr um die Chiefs, mehr als um irgendwas. Ich denke, sie werden getrickt, wenn sie denken, dass sie die gleiche Chiefs-Team sind, die sie in den letzten Jahren gewesen sind. Und sie bleiben glΓΌcklich in den wachsenden Momente der Spiele.
Aber Detroit, die sind gut, Bro. Es ist nicht nur talent-mΓ€Γig, wenn du siehst, wie sie alle Positionen spielen. Von der HΓ€lfte zu Panay Sewell. Panay Sewell hat eine Highlight-Tape, die ich sehen wΓΌrde. Er ist so gut. Er ist ein offizieller Lineman. Und wenn du siehst, wie er die Richtung verΓ€ndert, mehrere Leute auf einzelnen Spielen blockiert, sind sie besonders.
Und ich denke, ihre Erwartungen sind Superbowl. Ich habe einen Hot-Take. Gib mir einen Hot-Take.
Nein, nein, nein.
I'll give you another hot take. The Bengals should have drafted Panay Sewell over Jamar Chase even still today. Wow.
That's not a hot take. That's not a hot take.
Jamar Chase is the best receiver.
NFL Hipsters have been saying this for years. I think there's a lot of agreement about that.
People were dunking on me on Twitter for saying Panay Sewell was the pick.
Nein, das war nicht das, was ich... Dan, lass uns nicht gegen dich kΓ€mpfen.
Er ist ein unglaublicher Spieler, aber ich glaube, Star ist nicht immer direkt zu deinen Statistiken oder dem, was du zu deinem FuΓballteam meinst. Und wir haben dieses Problem im professionellen FuΓball und im professionellen Sport im Allgemeinen, dass die Art, wie wir uns zu dir vorstellen, ist die Art, wie wir dich immer sehen. Du bist, wer du bist. Er ist kein Erste-Rund-Pick.
Er ist kein 6'4", 210-Pound-4'3-Runner aus der UniversitΓ€t Alabama. Also wird er immer ein Blutkoller sein, ein ΓΌbererfΓΌllter Spieler. Und dadurch wird es schwer fΓΌr ihn sein, Star-Status zu erreichen.
Alright, Dr. Seuss.
What kind of professional athlete are you? We don't talk in who's who.
He was him. Gibbs was him. Dan Campbell is him. Dan Campbell. He is el. Well, dub. He's a him.
I was just going to make that joke. I think we're confirming.
When you were talking about a fan doing something inappropriate, I thought you meant the guy just wasting cheese behind you throughout this whole show. What a waste. That's a nice brick of cheddar.
Cheese onto the ground or onto the fan in front of him or onto the field. That is a disgusting waste of cheese.
Now you're just doing a thing. You're just trying to do a thing. Let me give a hot take here. That's not a hot take. I am black and you know, most black people become lactose intolerant when they reach like 23. Did you guys not know this? Nein, zwei Amerikaner. Drei Amerikaner. Drei Amerikaner, vier Amerikaner. Ich weiΓ nicht, wie viele Amerikaner es sind, Tony.
Ich sage dir, dass meine Γltesten mir immer sagen wΓΌrden, Mann, du magst das Milch, du magst das KΓ€se. Und ich sage, ja, das ist groΓartig. Sie sagen, wenn du in deinen Zwanzigern bist, wirst du es nicht beherrschen kΓΆnnen. Und lo und behold, ich und all meine Freunde sindι». Und fΓΌr die Mehrheit von vielenι»en Leuten, du wirst einfach Laktose. Und es ist nicht wert, nach ein bisschen.
Das hat mir gezeigt, dass KΓ€se ΓΌberwertet ist. Vielleicht mit einem weiΓen Freund? Ja, naja.
Ich denke, es ist spot-on. Ich denke, es ist einer meiner besten Takes. Du magst nicht Nachos? Hinter meinem ersten Take von Panay Soul ΓΌber Jamar Chase, den jeder weiΓ, der mit mir originiert ist.
Antwort auf die Frage ΓΌber Nachos zuerst.
Du magst nicht Nachos? Du magst nicht Pizza? Ich esse Pizza. Ich esse es. Es ist ΓΌberwertet. Es ist 80% KΓ€se? Ich habe nicht gesagt, dass ich KΓ€se boykotte. Ich bin gut damit. Es ist ΓΌberwertet.
Du machst sie die Pasta grΓΌn und gibst ihnen einfach Augenkontakt. Wie lange musst du sie aufhΓΆren, Chris?
Vielleicht war das, was dieser Lions-Fan gerade gemacht hat.
Ja.
Er ist auf einem Packers-Spieler. Ich glaube nicht, dass dieser Mann auf der BΓΌhne sein sollte. Und das ist das, was ich nicht mag an der Fandom. Dein Punkt, Dan. Es Γ€rgert mich, wenn die Fans in SpΓ€Γen sind, in denen die Leute arbeiten. Mit der Erwartung, dass wir den Show-and-Pony-Dance machen mΓΌssen. Das nervt mich. Wenn du in einem Pre-Game mit mir unterwegs bist, bin ich ein Lunatik.
Ich bin nicht fΓΌr Fandom.
Okay.
This is ridiculous. You have to get me first.
No, you get grated.
Sie brauchen eine Verletzung. Sie brauchen ein Level-Set, um sie auf der Erde zu bringen.
Yeah. He has a good smile. I was thinking when they showed the picture, I'm like, is that inappropriate to say the guy has a nice smile?
It's very symmetrical.
He's flexing. He's like, yeah, you don't know how good looking I am, do you?
Yeah, I mean, is it inappropriate to say that he appears like he has RIS? Probably, but has everyone on the Internet already said it? Yes, that was sort of the reaction. I think you're good. Okay.
Ich bin da gewesen. Ich war ein paar Mal wΓΌtend in meiner Karriere. Du hast fΓΌr die Browns gespielt. Ja, 16 Spiele in einer Saison. Jede Woche wΓΌrde ich am Dienstag sagen, weiΓt du was? Ich denke, ich bin wer? Wie? By Sunday it was right back to reality.
So long as I'm not the first here, unlike my Panay Soul take. But also, is it Riz if you're at a hostel?
I don't think it's Riz if you're literally there to feel like you have Riz. If you have to pay for it, it's not Riz.
He had a big day ahead of him.
Allein, jeder blaue Person spricht fΓΌr blaue Menschen. Das ist Nummer eins. Das ist nicht ein Stich. Das ist wie die beiden Amerikaner. Das ist natΓΌrlich wahr. Ihr wisst das. Ihr habt es 1000 Mal gehΓΆrt. Aber ehrlich gesagt, das ist das GefΓΌhl von mir und Cheese. Das sind keine Hot Takes. Das ist nur, wer ich bin. Und viele Leute, die ich fΓΌhle, wΓΌrden mich unterstΓΌtzen. Black Toast Intolerant.
Black Toast Intolerant. Danke.
Nur, weil ich sehr kurz vorher auf Dominiques Podcast war und das gleiche Bild kam vor einer Woche. Also war es frisch auf meinem Kopf. Aber er ist richtig ΓΌber Hard Knocks.
Ich habe das schon gemacht. Und wenn du ΓΌber Leadership-Hawk sprichst, ich weiΓ, du hast den Episode noch nicht gesehen, aber Tomlin, er hΓ€lt sich in dieser Gruppe von vier Head-Coaches aus.
I mean, Harbaugh is up there for sure, but if you're giving me Stefanski and Zach Taylor and Tomlin and I'm hearing them all speak to the team before games, I'm like, oh man, there is a big difference here in leadership.
They were like, who?
Top coach I've ever wanted to play for is Mike Tomlin. And every player that's played for him says the same thing, you want to play for him. No matter who they've played for, The Patriots, obviously the Browns, but you name it, Mike Tomlin is number one. That does not surprise me. He has to like cheese. No way he eats cheese. No way Mike Tomlin can eat cheese.
Who? Why? Cleveland's basically just Whoville.
Hold on, hold on, hold on. See, now we're changing takes. I never said leadership is overrated. Forgive me. That was cheese. Cheese was overrated.
It is. We are Whoville for sure. Bunch of Grinches. Yeah, no, I think, are we saying the Packers aren't good? No, they're good. They're who? You can't be a who when you lose. You can though, Dan. That's right. You can't.
Niemand weiΓ, wie man leidet. Mein Schmerz.
Ja, er weiΓ. Er ist natΓΌrlich ein FΓΌhrer, wer er ist. Es gibt andere Leute, die Du warst in Situationen, du warst in Unternehmen, du warst Teil von Teams, du warst Teil von, weiΓt du, was auch immer das ist, wo Leute Leid nehmen. Und es ist egal, wie viele SelbsthilfebΓΌcher sie gelesen haben oder wer sie studiert haben oder welchen Leidenschaftsstil sie finden, den sie gekauft haben.
Sie sind einfach nicht gut am Leiden. Was ich also sage, ist, dass ich es natΓΌrlich fΓΌhle, dass du das tun kannst, wenn du dich wirklich in deinem KΓΆrper befestigst und das, was du tust, tust. Und die Leute fangen auf dich an.
Und sie haben gute Teams. Wenn du ein Packers-Fan bist, dann gehst du dem Spiel weg und denkst dir, wir haben eine Chance. Die Lions haben die beste Mannschaft in der NFL fΓΌr die ganze Saison gespielt. Wenn du in das Spiel gehst und zu frΓΌh gehst und es nicht so geht, wie du es willst, und du hast noch nicht dein bestes Spiel gespielt. Jordan Love hat ein paar Tore gespielt. Er war auf der Balance.
Er fΓΌhlt sich so, als wΓ€re er da und es gibt Kameras. Es gibt eine Sicherheitspolicy, dass jemand nicht aufhΓΆrt, ihm in den Mund zu punchen. Sie kΓΆnnen dieses Kat-und-Pony-Show machen, okay? Aber gleichzeitig, wenn du in diesem Umfeld bist, bin ich in Ordnung. Wenn LaFleur sich einfach weggehalten hΓ€tte und sie geschlagen hΓ€tte... Du bist in Ordnung damit und niemand hilft dir.
Das ist das Problem, Dan. Du solltest in Ordnung sein. Geh nicht in ein BΓ€rs-Umfeld und erwarte nicht, dass du getΓΆtet wirst.
Und es wird dir eine Lektion beibringen und du wirst es nicht mehr machen. Wenn Sirianni an die Fans schreit, hasse ich es. Denn er geht in sein Domain. Er ist in den Stand, wo sie das Spiel genieΓen sollen oder was auch immer sie tun mΓΆchten. Und das ist eine schlechte FΓΌhrung fΓΌr mich.
Ich fΓΌhle mich so, dass ich weiΓ, bleib wo du bist, lass sie wo sie sind und dann kΓΆnnen wir mit dieser Equation, die wir als Pro-Football gebaut haben, gehen. Wir sind die Spieler und die Trainer, lass sie die Fans sein. Wann immer du auf dem Feld bist und diese Maniac-Mentality kickt, ja, alles ist schuldig, was passieren kann.
Just to close the loop, Tomlin was eating chili cheese Fritos on Hard Knocks.
I love those.
And they smell bad.
I'm with you on that. The smell of Fritos literally makes me sick.
Dan, the facts are the facts.
What's your favorite food?
Spaghetti.
No, not black people. We don't put cheese on spaghetti, bro.
He's entitled to his experiences and opinions.
That means a lot. I also can't digest cheese well, but it doesn't stop me.
Er hat angefangen, zu zeigen, dass man nicht so viel Risiko in dieser Situation nehmen kann. Und sie haben immer noch gespielt. Josh Jacobs, die ganze Mannschaft. Du hast eine Chance.
Wie kommt die Union?
Okay, just wanted to double check.
It's like you're talking about doubling down on no unions.
I'm pro-union. Are you pro-union, Hawk?
Ich war in der Union, in der Spieler-Assoziation. Ich war Union-Rep. Viele Pro-Union-Mitglieder hier, Dan.
Ich bin traurig, weil ich letzte Nacht nicht viel schlafen konnte. Ich bin zum ErΓΆffnen von Jimmy Butlers neuem Kaffee in der Design-Distrikt. Die Espresso-Martinis flogen. Wow. So I'm easing into my morning today.
Und du denkst dir, wie kann ich helfen? Mit einem Licht an?
Es war nicht eine emergency Situation, oder?
Es gab viele Leute am Tag, die Dinge sahen, die sie nicht erwartet hatten. Wahrscheinlich, weil dieser Feuerwagen in den Verkehr gestanden war.
Du hast gesagt, dass das gestern war, Dan. Ich habe es gegoogelt. Es sieht nicht so aus, als ob es gestern war. Wenn es zwei Tage her war, oh. Nein, es war gestern.
I was. I was. And I'm like, there's no leadership here. Really?
That's why I retired. I couldn't find the leadership in New England. Dan, does that make you feel better?
Das ist eine klassische Dopaminaddiktion, was du da siehst.
Ist es eine gute Leidenschaft? Hier ist mein Punkt. Niemand weiΓ, wie man leiden kann. Die Leute, die Leute folgen kΓΆnnen, sind einfach selbst. Und natΓΌrlich gravitate du zu etwas, mit dem jemand geboren ist. Also jederzeit, wenn ich jemanden bin, der versucht, Leidenschaft zu zeigen, fΓΌhle ich es. Es fΓΌhlt sich nicht authentisch an. Es fΓΌhlt sich nicht wie du.
Dan Campbell war die richtige Menge dumm. Das ist das Spezielle an ihm. Warum wΓΌrdest du es so machen? Sie haben den Field Goal gespielt. Und logisch gesagt, du hast dein Team da, wo alle die Leute, die du gesagt hast, aufstehen werden. Und sie steigen immer weiter auf. Glaub ihnen mit 40 Sekunden. Aber er hat dieses GeistgefΓΌhl. Er fΓ€hrt mit ihm.
Weil jeder Teil seines Aktions mit dem, mit dem er sich immer gezeigt hat, zu sein. Sie denken, okay, das ist das, was wir machen. Dann gehen wir.
Ich habe das Situation gesehen. Ich verstehe das. Das ist das, was die Erwartung macht. Nun, ich wΓΌrde sagen, die Lions fΓΌhlen sich nicht so jetzt. Weil sie sind kinder am Anfang dieser Arche. Und sie sind immer noch die Lions. Auch dieses Jahr. Aber wenn du sie auf der Tape siehst, wie viel besser sie sind als andere Teams. Ich meine, sie haben die Leute verletzt.
Und die andere Sache ist auch, dass sie keinen Superstar haben. Wenn du ΓΌber LeBron sprichst,
The Bears tried to give them one. The Bears and then they just were the Bears.
Hi, Amy. I want to thank you so much for telling your story. You are so brave for so many reasons, but to not only tell your story, but to write a book about it and share it with the world is truly courageous. It's inspirational and gives a voice to so many survivors. I myself am a survivor of sexual assault. I am a clinical social worker, so I work with many survivors.
And I also have so many close friends because of how pervasive this issue is. And oftentimes, more often than not, survivors are shamed or discouraged from coming forward and telling their story. And in the book, you mentioned how fortunate you were to have such a strong support system and to have the means to access the resources that you needed in this process on this healing journey.
And so my question to you is for survivors who don't have strong support systems and don't have the means to access these resources, what advice would you give to them on where to begin and how to really embark on this journey?
Yeah, I know that's what we're fed. We're fed our whole lives that credit is what matters. I mean, again, we moved up here with the intent to buy a home and we found out quickly that I couldn't be on it. And I guess that's really what...
Oh, I know.
Yes, I do. I've had plenty of, I mean, my first car was an 05 Civic.
No, I think it's just more so, again, I mean, we, I mean, my whole family is, I mean, obviously they're not, you know, they got their own troubles. But the whole thing is, you know, to have great credit and to not have this negative stuff dragging behind you.
And even though I've got my credit history wiped, you know, everything nowadays, they want to pull some type of credit, even buy here, pay here. No, they don't. If you pay cash.
That's what I'm saying.
Yes. So my quick question is I was a victim of identity theft. I found out at 18 my mom had been using my social security number since I was two years old. Found out at 18 when I went to go get a car and they wouldn't even touch me with a cosign or with an 800 credit score. No money down. Found out I had $186,000 in credit card debt just alone.
$100,000 in what? $186,000 in credit card debt.
Yes. Oh, Jessica. How long ago was this? Oh, my word. I mean, all the way back to 2005. The most recent one was in 2021, which was right before I was 18. And I got it with an attorney, and we got my credit wiped. But what it left me with was zero credit history and horrible credit score. Not even a six-year credit card will touch me now. I have a significant other. We're not married.
But we have gone to plenty of financial advisors, and we have been told both that our best option option is to get married because, again, I can't get even a credit card in my name. I'm an authorized user on only one card, and I can't be an authorized user on a lot of other credit cards.
Yes. They always say, sign if I can't. And I don't have a car in my name. I can't get a car of my own. We share my partner's car. We moved up here to South Carolina from Southwest Florida, away from my grandmother, and to live up here near my father. And I work from home, which isn't a big deal. But our biggest issue right now is we have one car. Okay. All right.
I'm currently a debt collector for Advance America. And I'm currently making about, after commission, $18 to $19 an hour, $40 a week. All right.
Yeah, most definitely. I mean, there's plenty of good vehicles for that price.
Most definitely.
No.
How much do you have in savings? Do you have any savings? Currently, no. We just use our savings to move. And, you know, get out of Southwest Florida because the jobs there weren't any good. And we're currently trying, I'm trying to get back into college. I have one semester left to get my associates.
But again, my mother messing with my identity has affected my tax forms to getting grants and loans.
So I'm just wondering how to go about applying to Baby Steps, where my largest debt is to my grandmother, who has helped us.
Yeah, and that is from a credit card that she co-signed with my fiance so he could start his own business.
In total, we are $10,344 in debt. Okay. That's including our property taxes, our utilities, and our $2,200 in other credit card debt.
Yes. So the thing is, my grandmother is pretty persistent in reminding us about the credit card debt. So we kind of, for example, his last check was $4,500. We gave her $2,000 to try to bring that debt down.
So he's been doing this business on his own for six months now. In the six months, he's made about $60,000. Okay. And how much do you make? I don't work at the moment. We're going through a new life transition. We're newly sober, and I'm trying to get our house back into a livable condition, basically. We've only been sober for 40 days, but Um, you know, we just kind of, our whole life was chaos.
And so since getting it over, we're trying to figure out how to be like functioning adults, you know, priorities and learning how to be, you know, normal, I guess.
Thank you.
So we paid off $163,427. Oh, my gosh. How long did it take? 29 months. 29 months, yeah. Okay, so great. That is wild. Okay. What kind of debt was it?
And a vacuum. Wow. And our house.
Yeah, it was about $4,000. Yeah.
Yeah, we started making a list of stuff we wanted to buy after.
That was my baby. Yeah. Yeah. I told him, I said, I'm not telling you to do that. That's going to be your decision. Yeah.
I'm so proud of you guys. That's a big sacrifice.
keeping our nose to the grindstone so to speak and just doing it anybody make fun of you during it oh yes yeah mainly for the credit card situation yeah because everyone thinks it's crazy you don't have a credit card and we're like we didn't have one to begin yeah that's what that was interesting too what was your retort what was your big comeback when they would come at you with this
So we were talking about this on the way here, what we would say if you asked us. And my take was invite people into your journey because you get to minister to people that way. Tell them why you're doing what you're doing and what's so different about Ramsey and
compared to all these other financial institutions that was my takeaway with it invite people in uh just keep them updated on what you're doing and uh keeps you motivated it keeps you motivated definitely and then you can bring other people in because they'll start asking questions like oh how'd you do this you get to tell them all about it yeah that's beautiful and there's some accountability it's like oh yeah they're gonna ask about this oh yeah we were teaching the classes while we were in like baby step three we're like we just sold the truck that we had paid off and they everyone thought we were walking the talk yeah
How do I insulate and separate myself from my husband who has a massive spending addiction?
Yeah, it's super easy. He spends and spends and spends. He has had to empty his 401k three times to pay off debt that he has accrued. He takes out consolidation loans without my consent. He bought a car without my consent. The payment for that is almost $1,000 a month. Oh, my goodness. And it just goes and goes and goes.
Oh, years.
Yep. He has no concept of it.
And he won't go.
So I've been going. And then I started doing the snowball method. So I have been spending the last five years doing anything that's associated with me. And I have like simultaneously been paying off and saving. And I've paid off so far $31,751.84. I have $19,391.17 in cash saved. Do you have separate accounts? Yes. Yes.
$9,608.14 in investment saved, and I have $6,005.43 left in debt, like on credit cards.
The rest is only in his name.
But my fear is always the stuff that he's buying, like cars and all this stuff, because they were obtained during marriage. Am I going to get stuck with these?
Okay. Okay.
You've already separated finances. This is heading clearly towards divorce because I can't. Does he know this? I've already explained this to him.
Yes. He thinks that because he is the breadwinner and he makes all the money and because I'm on disability that he should be able to spend whatever he wants whenever he wants.
And that's what I mean. I've gone through therapy. Like, I've been doing therapy. So, like...
that's not this is not like i need to go to therapy i need to like oh no i'm sorry you're right i think yeah but i was when i asked that question i was talking about you two as a couple to see if we've actually fought for this yeah and you can't do it for him i know you can't do it for him right and it's to the you know that whole you can lead a horse to water can't make him drink that
So I just been trying to figure out like, how do I separate and insulate myself from that? And then with what I have saved and what I have like investment wise, like in theory, I know that a judge or whatever would maybe do some type of spousal support, but I know that's not guaranteed and it's not for forever. But I have an income of $1,054 a month from disability.
I think I can make like $600 a month or something.
Oh, no, it's permanent disability.
Yeah. Okay. Like I've had five separate spine surgeries, like just that part of me. I'm so sorry. Like I'm a mess. So sorry, Jessica. And I've accepted that, so.
Thank you very much. Absolutely.
We're doing good. We're doing okay. We're actually about an hour out from L.A., so we are not near the fires. Oh, good. Oh, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, for sure. What a mess, mess, mess. Yes, yes. Prayers to everybody who's going through losing their house, and yes, we've been praying for everybody. For sure. How can we help? So our question is, we did Financial Peace University probably about eight years ago, So our house bills are beautiful. I heard the guy earlier say that just his mortgage alone is $5,000.
Our house bills all together come out to about $6,000 per month. But we started a business in 2020 and we got ourselves into $250,000 in debt. which is credit cards and personal loans.
A hundred thousand. I know, I know a hundred thousand of that is under the business. And then the other is we used our personal credit cards. Me and my husband, we actually did go through some turmoil after 2020 and we were not on the same page. So that is part of what happened with the debt. So now we've, we started going to church or we're going to counseling and
And there is major potential in the business. But we also have in our home, we do have, I don't know after, you know, closing costs and things like that, but we have some equity in our house. We owe $400,000 and we could potentially sell it for $650,000 to $7,000. So the question is, do we look into selling the house and getting the debt off of our shoulders and then growing the business
Or do we grow the business and try to pay off the debt while staying in our home?
Okay, so it is a wellness center and med spa all in one. And the business bills, including paying ourselves, is $17,000. And we make, on average, about $20,000.
Unless if something doesn't come up unexpected in the business.
Like I said earlier, my husband and I, we were not working together on the business. So I was doing it by myself for the first three years. And just recently, for a year, we've been working together, but we, like I said, started going to church and counseling. And now, as of now, we are on the same page. We're actually fasting right now for it.
So we're looking for answers as far as if we work together and we kill it in the business. Okay. Yeah.
So that the, what we're paying ourselves with what we're paying ourselves, like we're just barely, Barely. Barely getting by. Okay.
Yeah.
I would, yes. I need to do that also? Do what? Would I need to do that also?
And then in the meantime, so is it pretty much doing financial university again? What do we do with the people who are calling right now, the debtors?
Yeah, so remember we said that, oh, so the numbers that I was giving you was without what we owe the credit cards. So monthly, we owe $10,000 in credit cards. And that's not getting paid? No, for the past couple months, we stopped.
$250,000?
Yes.
Okay. Hold it.
Okay.
Um, typically I go straight plummeting down. Um, luckily I got a new psychiatrist and I'm on a new medication, um, over the last two to four weeks I've been taking it. I want to say, um, and it's, it's, yeah, I, I feel pretty, I'll be honest. I feel like normal, if you will, mellow, uh, media, whatever you want to call it.
But to me, this is my own... guess here, but because I was manic for so long, normal feels dull and low. That's right.
Yeah. I mean, I've dealt with a lot. And, you know, like, I'm never a Division I athlete. I... I hit all the milestones I was supposed to do, and now I just feel stuck and like a failure. And I'm not good at reaching out for help. I don't want help. I keep telling myself, you know, I can... I can truck along and figure this out on my own, and I'm realizing that... You can't.
You called the show.
Yes. The other issue is that $5,500 of it is what I'm calling a personal loan, but is to someone that... I gathered a bit of a gambling problem over this last episode. Okay. And I lost $8,000 to someone who was supplying that money for me to gamble with.
No, I blew through the savings I had on top of the $18,000 I have left.
Hey, guys. How's it going?
Not too bad. I've got bipolar 1. I was diagnosed when I was 19, so I'm 24 now. And, you know, I've been on my meds, been in therapy for five years the whole time, and then just kind of crashed this last couple months. I went into a full-blown manic episode for about eight weeks. racked up $20,000 in debt and blew through my savings. That was almost $20,000.
And I'm financially not in the best situation right now. I make $104,000 right now. I quit my job when the manic episode happened and luckily caught a new one that I started in October. So I'm just a little lost and
So I'm calling because I have a whole life insurance policy that I've been holding on to since 2012. And now I'm thinking, hearing Dave, and you guys, and hearing that the whole is garbage and that I should switch the terms. But I'm not sure about the tax implications and stuff like that. I just don't really know what to do with the life insurance policy from here on out.
I'm going to be 39. I'm 39 now. I'm going to be 40 next year. So I'm kind of like, hold on to it. I have two little ones. My husband's the primary beneficiary, but my oldest daughter is the contingent. And I'm like, do I hold on to this? I already called the company and asked them if I should, you know, if I could switch it from hold a term.
And of course they said, no, you could cash it out and then get a term insurance policy with us. And I'm like, I don't know what the tax implications are or anything, or if it'd be worth it to do that, or if I should just hold on to, because it looks like it is, it's gotten... like $1,500 in the last year.
According to the statements that, right.
So, I would pay the taxes on it. Yeah, it's only $55 a month, so I've been ignoring it for all this time.
I'm listening to you guys. I'm like, all right, I need to do something about this.
Yeah, I'm a state worker. I make around 15 a year, so I wasn't really missing it, you know?
Okay, yeah, so what I would do... I don't want to be robbed slowly by the insurance company either.
All right. And then, okay, so you said 10 to 12 months for my life insurance policy.
Gotcha. Okay. Awesome. Yeah. I just want to say also, God bless you guys, and thank you for the work that you do.
Yeah. Yeah, I was engaged before I married my husband now. And the ghost question really should have been my get-the-fuck-out moment.
no and there is no information that you could give me to change my mind and i just i don't see why anyone would really think that at the time she didn't think much about the difference in their answers but then she got to know him better other things would come up and i was frustrated about the fact that like everything with you is so black and white like not everything is black and white sometimes they're gray um and then i kind of thought back to his answer to this question
Uh, do you believe in ghosts?
There is no one right answer. It just matters that you and your partner have the same answer, essentially, at its core. Your minds kind of work in a similar way.
The Trump tax cuts. Obviously, Democrats are going to fight that tooth and nail. It's not just something that exploded the debt. It's also something that is really symbolic for Democrats of giving all the benefits to extremely wealthy people while the rest of us suffer or don't get anything.
Go ahead, Christy, did you want to jump in there? The wealthy are the biggest share of that, Scott, as you know.
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Some people just don't really like football, and that's fine.
I don't really watch that much of the NBA. That's okay.
Yeah, and like a quarter zip is like a cozy outer garment that you can wear inside.
No.
You're cozy. Quarter zip is fine. You're warm. Toasty, I would also use as another synonym.
Do Wimby next.