REAL AF with Andy Frisella
882. Q&AF: Finding Like Minded People, Success Without Shame & Overcoming Paralyzing Fear
Mon, 19 May 2025
On today’s episode, Andy answers live call-in questions on how to find like-minded driven people in your success journey, how to feel proud of your progress without feeling guilty, and how to face the fear of rejection, especially when you know it’s the next important step you need to take to win.
Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?
What is up, guys? It's Andy Purcell, and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to lies, fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. That's what we're doing. All right. It is what it is. Fuck you, Medot. No, you can't add more. You're gonna ruin the show. Sorry. Alright. Anyway, today...
we have q and af that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers all right uh you could submit your questions a couple different ways the first way is guys email these questions into ask andy andy forsella.com or you go on youtube in the comments section ask your question in the comments or if you want to call in on the show go to the link right underneath the youtube video click that link fill out your question and uh you could talk to us live on the show maybe maybe if you don't ask some dumb
all right but that's how we do it now if you're new which we're getting a lot of new people right now welcome uh this isn't the only format of the show we have shows within the show all right we have uh today we have q a f tomorrow we have cti it stands for cruise the internet that means we're gonna put topics on the screen we're gonna speculate on what's true what's not true and then we're gonna talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world um it's half comedy half real stuff um
All smoke. All right. Then we got Real Talk, which is 100% all smoke. And then we have... 75 Hard Versus. 75 Hard Versus where somebody who has completed the 75 Hard Program comes on the show. We talk about how they were a dumpy turd and how they used the 75 Hard Program to not be so dumpy. All right? They get their stuff together. You get the whole 75 Hard Live Hard Program at episode 208.
If you're unfamiliar with Live Hard, it is the entire year-long mental toughness program. It is the most popular mental toughness program ever in history, and it's free. You can get the whole thing at episode 208. There's also a book available. The book is called The Book on Mental Toughness. You can get that at andyfersella.com.
And I also have a big, big drop coming on, I don't know, we'll say right around July 4th. Just right around there. So if you know, you know.
now we don't run ads on the show now i know some people in youtube that are not very smart say well youtube runs ads in your show no i can't help that we don't run ads on the show i don't pick up products and say hey 14 times a show okay we finance the show ourselves i don't want to answer to anybody so I ask very simply to help share the show, all right?
We put a lot of time, a lot of effort, a lot of money into delivering these messages, and we would like your help sharing the show. So we got a little thing that we say here that goes like this. Don't be a hoe. Share the show. So let's do what we got to do here, man. You know, we make people better on Mondays. I look better today. Huh?
I got better today. I got to drive a pretty sweet car. Yeah? Like 10 feet. Yeah.
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Chapter 2: How can I find like-minded driven people?
the chance, you know, and then getting, getting kind of burned a few times and then just made it harder. And so I guess looking for input that way.
All right. So yeah, It's real simple. That's called fucking life, bro. Like, you know, I grew up the same way, dude. Like my parents been divorced since I was five years old. I've been fucked over by every single motherfucker I've ever met in my life with the exception of like 10. Okay.
world sucks most of the time that's why it's important that we have to live to a high standard and here's the thing you don't need anybody to trust or believe in you or support you to do what it is you're you're wanting you're wanting to do so uh and the quicker that you build yourself into a person who is doing things the quicker you're gonna find other people that are aligned with that, right?
Nobody that's actually doing things out there at a high level wants to waste their energy or time with someone who's not. So this is a common struggle with a lot of people who are trying to level up their networks. And when you're trying to level up your networks, it's important that it's very clear You may not have the result, but you're doing everything you can to live at that standard.
Behave like them, act like them, be ambitious, be somebody who attacks, be somebody who's aggressive, be somebody who is looking to provide value to the people around them, not just take value. Those efforts are recognized by friend circles and peer circles that we would say are more down the road of the success journey that you might be right now.
So I'm not saying you have to go out and produce the result. That always helps. But what I've found, and I've had this happen to me many times, is that people who were above me in the success journey were able to recognize that, man, this guy's hustling, he's doing everything he can, he's working hard, he cares. Let me see how I can help this kid out.
And I've had a number of those people along the way
uh you know come in and then you know out of my life as i outgrew those people so we have to understand dude that like very few friendships are permanent uh many of them serve a point in our lives and then when they no longer serve either party people grow apart this happens in in friendships this happens in relationships uh that's a normal part of life
A lot of people are wired to think about what they can get, not what they can give. And those people never win long term. And I know that it's difficult and I know it feels lonely. But the reason it feels lonely is because it's rare. And you have ambition. You have drive. You have the want and the will to do bigger things. And not everybody has that, man.
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Chapter 3: How do I achieve success without feeling shame?
Because, dude, I'm going to tell you this, and this is very important. The more, and this is really important for the business that you're in, because people are never going to stop working out. But the more that technology...
infiltrates our society the more valuable inter communication skills are going to be all right and you're 25 years old dude you grew up on a phone you grew up with technology so it is a little bit harder for you because it's abnormal for someone of your age to do what i'm telling you to go do but i'm going to tell you dude and this is real that skill is going to become so rare
that it becomes extremely valuable. And why it's gonna be valuable to you is going to be because the way that your gym is going to scale and grow is gonna be by you building community around your gym. And you can only build community with other human beings if you are great at dealing with other human beings. So when you tie all of this together, this is practice for you, bro.
This is this is reps. This is what you have to do. And if you don't do it, you're just not going to be as successful as you could be. Not even close. So, you know, I know you know this, But, dude, you know, when you're getting ready to walk out that door and you start to get that fucking, you know, like that that bitch voice is in your head. It's like, fuck, like, bro, just walk right through it.
Just keep walking and just go do it. And you're going to find out, bro, after the first time or third time you get rejected, it's not even a big deal. It's not a big deal. Yeah. And let me tell you something else. Do you do you are you married?
Brother, I've been with my girl since I was 16. I've done a lot of things right in my life. This is the only one thing that fucking eats me alive every day. Okay. Yeah, I'm married. One for one, bro, since we were 16.
Okay. Well, I was going to say, for most men in your situation, they usually aren't married, and your ability to talk to people is going to dictate the quality of the mate that you attract. So this translates into all areas of life. So while that doesn't apply to you, it's important for the other young men and young people to hear. So, dude. you've just got to force your way through it, man.
And once you go through it once or twice, it's going to, it's like the first time you walked into a gym, bro. The first time you walked into a gym, you were shitting your pants. I know you were because I was too. And so was everybody else. It's very uncomfortable. But once you've done it, you're like, what the fuck was I worried about? What was I nervous about?
And dude, that's, this is just a mental block and it's going to take force the first two or three times. And, You know why it's eating you, bro? It's because you're letting it linger.
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Chapter 4: What are strategies to overcome paralyzing fear?
Was that your number you were texting me on, DJ? Yeah. All right, I'm going to hit you up. I'm going to text you like 10 times a day, bro, okay? I'm going to ask you what you're used to practicing.
I'm going to check in.
And if you don't text me back, I'm going to be pissed, bro.
I thought we were friends. Sweet, man. All right, Josh, go get it, bro.
Yes, sir. Appreciate you guys. Thank you for everything.
Thank you, bro. Go do it. You got this.
Yes, sir.
All right.
All right, bye.
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