Justin
Appearances
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
I do. But first, because if I forget, she'll kill me. My best friend Gia turned me on to you guys.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
She's a day one armchair obsessed. Then during quarantine lockdown, I got into it and I fell in love, obviously, too. And then Monica, I started listening when you're doing your egg retrieval. My husband and I were going through the process as well to have our daughter, which we had her. She's here.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
Thank you. But it was so helpful just to hear your experience with the egg retrieval. Because not just women who are doing it, but families like ours who can't have a kid naturally, just to hear every detail of what you went through was really, really helpful.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
Then looking you up, I was like, she looks really familiar to me and I couldn't figure it out. And I lived in LA for 10 years.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
Soul cycle. I used to bartend at the Abbey for four years and I was like, did I maybe make her a drink at some point?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
But this story, this was 2003. I had just graduated from Mason Gross, which is the acting conservatory at Rutgers. So I was 23. I just moved to New York City. I was living in Astoria, Queens in this little closet that was a bedroom. And I was waiting tables at Hard Rock Cafe. Oh, yes. Great nachos. I got a job there. I thought it would be cool.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
And they were like, you need New York experience to work here. So I lied. And so it was a Saturday night, super crazy busy. A lot of tourists come through. So the tips kind of suck. You're working with a constant feeling of rage. And I get sat with a birthday party. So it's the mom, the dad, and about eight 10-year-old girls. Oh, wow.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
So I approach the table, and I'm like, let me get this drink order. And via the drink order, I learn a few things. First is that this is a family of privilege.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
Nachos. They brought these kids into the city for a night, and they want to impress the parents of these other little girls. The birthday girls got, like, full beat, hair done. So I'm taking their drink orders. They're all like milkshake. They're talking down to me. The mom's like, these are the only Chardonnays you have. And I'm like, well, Campbell Jackson's are top.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
And she's like, I guess that'll do. The dad's like, beer, keep it coming. I'm like, he'll be on my side tonight. I come back and I'm like, let's get the appetizers. Now, in our pre-shift meeting, every shift, they sit us down and they're like, you must upsell. You must sell souvenir glasses. They threaten us to get good shifts and good sections.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
So I'm offering the jumbo combo, which is like the biggest appetizer. It's this big thing in the middle of spring rolls, all the things around it, you know, something like that. And the nachos, I'm pushing all the best shit. They're like, yeah. Order comes up. And I'm in the back getting it ready. And it's busy. The waiter's all running around. And I'm like, I only have two hands.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
We're supposed to put on a separate plate the guacamole and the salsa with the mac underneath. But I'm like, fuck it. I'm not doing that. I put the salsa on the side, guacamole on the other side, got the jumbo combo and the nachos. And I come out to the table, put down the jumbo combo. And then I'm going to put down the nachos. And I clear more space for them.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
And I'm like, I swear I put the salsa there with the guacamole. So I'm about to look at them and say, I'll be right back with your salsa. Meanwhile, I have like four other tables. And I look at them and they're all just wide-eyed, mouths dropped open. So I follow their eyeline to the birthday girl who's seated right beneath me. And the ramekin of salsa is on top of her head.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
So I drop the nachos. I grab the ramekin with one hand. I scoop the salsa with my other hand. And I bolt. Oh, wow. Okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
And so I ran up to my friend in the back and I said, I just dropped the sauce on the fucking birthday girl's head. So I grabbed the little beverage naps that I was supposed to put on the plate. I run out there. The mom is standing up picking onion chunks. And I come up, I'm scared to death, this mother. And I approach and I say, here's some napkins. And she slowly turns to me and says,
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
Could you bring a clean, wet towel?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
In her defense, that probably was what was needed.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
They're not going to do anything. I'm 23. I'm panicked. I run to the back. I see my manager. I'm like, I dropped the salsa on the girl's head. Can you get a clean, wet towel? He gets it. I ring in the dinner. The rest of the meal goes off without a hitch. The birthday girl has stopped crying. They're laughing. Beautiful sight. The mom's drunk.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
The dad's drunk, looking at the rock and roll memorabilia. Now I'm feeling the spirit. I'm like, this is a great party. I'm going to make this up to her. So at the Hard Rock, we're supposed to do a big birthday announcement. They want us to scream, get everyone's attention, make it rock and roll. I hated doing these things. I'd always pay the kid with the mohawk five bucks to do it for me.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
I went to Mason Gross School of the Arts.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
But this birthday I was doing it. So I went to the back and I told the dessert woman, I was like, make this good, extra whipped cream. And so this was in a large margarita glass, plastic.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
So it's a big brownie on the bottom, three scoops of vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, caramel, whipped cream, cherry on top. I put the candle on top. I take it. I march out there. All their eyes light up. I'm like, get up. She's like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm like, get out of your seat. I pull her up myself.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
I pull her chair up. I'm like, get up on your chair. She's like, oh, my God, no. I'm like, get up on the chair. She gets up on the chair. Your tone changes. Get the fuck on the chair, birthday girl. This is what they made us do. So I light the candle. I hand her the sundae. And I turn around. I face the restaurant. And I yell, attention, Hard Rock Cafe.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
They want us to do like, how's everyone doing tonight?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
slowly turn around and she's on her back. The chair is tipped backwards. The sundaes on her chest, her face, it looks like it exploded everywhere. She's screaming, crying. All the girls are jumping up. The mother's looking at me like, you're fucking dead.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
I look at the dad and he's trying so hard not to laugh.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
I go in the back, I find my manager and I say, can you please bring a clean wet towel? So I go out there trying to avoid eye contact, hoping they're cleaned up and someone's taking care of the check. And I feel a tap, tap, tap. And I turn around, it's the dad. And he slips me 220s. And he gives me a little nod. And so I said, well, I ruined her birthday, but I guess I made his night.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
And it's not like I was doing these things on purpose, right?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
What I do remember is that parties of six or more, they would include the tip. And that one, my manager was like, we're not including the tip.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
He probably comps the jumbo combo.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
This is one of those huge blankets. Do you remember those ads on Instagram a couple years ago?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Children's Party
Me neither. Like, how big are we talking?
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
Yeah, probably. He started to get wary. Jake was probably pissed at me that we didn't record it.
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
That was the most, to me, the most tangible third-party proof that I had ever heard or seen. I would say, damn, this theory that Jake has always had might be real.
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
We were like, okay, how do we respond to him to keep it friendly, to keep a relationship of some sort?
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
In our conversations, there was a lot of reason to believe that that could have been possible. But as his friends in his new life trying to help him recover, it's like that's not going to help you move on and get better. But for me, that genuinely changed with that text message. And then the phone call too, but like the texts, because you can't mince words in texts. That's completely crazy.
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
And I don't know if in, candidly, I don't know if in the heroin community, if like this concept of poisoning is a thing. And so you would, that's like a joke that people make. Like it wouldn't even entered my mind. I just was like... heroin is a bad thing. It makes sense that maybe you inhaled something in the tin foil or something. Who knows? It just isn't good.
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
So it's gonna put you in this position at some point, which I think is most people's assumption when they hear this story is that they're like, it's heroin, dude. Heroin is meant to kill you. So yeah, it probably killed you. But then the fact that he had the suspicion, ex-boyfriend, out of the blue, sends a text with the suspicion, Elle is making jokes about a poisoning,
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
damn maybe this did happen it's still not hard proof but for jake it's as close as you could get
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
I met Jake here in the summer of 2020. And then over the next several years, we became super good friends. I was one of his first friends in his new life. And I think we were drawn to each other by our energy to communicate.
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
grab life by the horns and do interesting stuff and I got to know the story and then we just hung out more and I was like this kid is different I don't know what it is about this kid he's just like different like he's funny he's the most engaging person in the world and he's gone through all this crazy shit
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
anyway we went to dinner with me and my friend rich and jake he was like damn this is my first time going to dinner being out of the hospital like this is awesome that night he went to the bathroom we let him go on his own and he got trapped in the bathroom because the lock was too small for him to like unlock himself out of the restroom and he was like
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
He told me his whole story, you know, obviously, like, the first day I met him. I was like, damn, that's the craziest story I've ever heard. And it probably took him, like, a year for him to be like, yo, I have this crazy theory. I, like, don't talk about it very often. He's like, it doesn't make sense that I ingested something that a bunch of other people did and ended up in this position.
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
I have this theory that, like... You know, maybe Elle did something. And I was like, shut up, dude. Like, no way. That's, like, completely impossible that that would happen. I don't know her. He told me all the reasons why. But, like, it's all just him making some assumptions based on data that he had only himself. But...
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
all of the other data points related to her taking relatively good care of him it seemed like she wanted him to survive right so i was like that's a totally crazy thing and he would like bring it up every once in a while and i'm like dude stop you can't let that be in your brain like that's not healthy for you to be living thinking that she could have done something right
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
I was home and he just called me and he was like clearly distraught. And I was like, what's going on? He's like, dude, I just got this text message. Like, where are you? Can you come down now? And I was like, sure. So I was with my girlfriend. We both came down and Jake was like noticeably shaking, like almost hyperventilating to some extent.
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
And he showed me the string of texts from her ex-boyfriend. And then I can tell she loved you. Do you think she poisoned you at all? Which like Jake had only ever had this theory, kept it to himself, only told people super close to him. This is a guy that he's never met, I don't think.
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
Reached out with paragraphs of texts and then it ended with one text that said, do you think she poisoned you at all? So Jake is, and I'm even getting goosebumps now thinking about it. Cause like we're in this room in his apartment, like freaking out, you know, to get like an unprompted text. That's really insanely accusatory to some extent without any prompting.
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
I went from being like, get that out of your head. Stop thinking about it. It's not healthy for you to have that theory to holy shit. Maybe she did it. Crazy, crazy. So then we're like, okay, what do we do with this information? How do, where do we go from here? You know, he's like, do I respond? Should I try to call him?
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
And I was like, I think you should call him and just like start creating a relationship. Because based on the text, I think it was clear that he, they had broken up like super recently. And that's why he felt comfortable reaching out. I'm sure. Let's give, let's give him a phone call. We were like, should we record this? And I had just been through something with work.
Blink | Jake Haendel's Story
12. Bad Batch
And I think Jake knew, too, that Massachusetts is a two-party consent state to record something. So we didn't record it. And the whole message to Jake was like, let's just let him talk. You know, clearly he has something to say or he wouldn't have reached out like this. So don't like spook him, basically. And let's like get as much information as we can.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 3 - Never Turned Her Back on Me
I just feel like at this point in time, since he's already opening up and stuff, I feel like we're both ready to talk to each other in a way.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 3 - Never Turned Her Back on Me
When he said that, no one wrote him. Yeah. I was like, damn, because I ain't going to lie. I got a letter from him before. I don't remember what it says. I don't have it. But I never put the effort in.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 2 - Destroyer
Every time I hear about my dad, it's, oh, he's a killer, you know? He's just straight evil. I was always scared. My biggest fear was being him.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 2 - Destroyer
It's like different stories, like killing two people in one time. I was under pressure from all the information I gathered that he's killed at least 12 people.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 2 - Destroyer
Killing this one guy because he was gay. He said that, you know, the dude tried to touch him, but apparently the dude didn't touch him. He just wanted to rob him for money.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 2 - Destroyer
If you really want to make amends, just, you know, come clean and just open, open yourself to yourself.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 2 - Destroyer
As I'm getting older, one thing I'm realizing, humans are very fragile. They're very emotional creatures. All of us. I'm a human too. I promise.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 2 - Destroyer
I did have times when I would see families and I would, you know, cry in my head type thing because I would always want a father. And that goes for a mother too. Like I wanted a happy mother type thing.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 2 - Destroyer
The only time anything was mentioned, it was either when I was in an argument, you don't need to be like your father, you don't blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Any time they ever talked about him, it's you're not like him type thing. So I wonder how much of my life I followed in his footsteps. Because if you keep telling someone they're not something, they end up being something.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 2 - Destroyer
I was scared. I was, well, I'm still scared. But it was just more or less me being scared about anger issues.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 2 - Destroyer
You know, if I'm going to be like my dad, which I'm not, because I don't even know what my dad would be like in a dad role.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 2 - Destroyer
Because I was expecting I was expecting someone cold. I was expecting like a like someone that really don't care. And then I heard someone genuinely crying. So I'm like, all right. So it makes sense. His name is finally caught up to him. He was forced to break and he didn't know how to handle that.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 2 - Destroyer
My dad was a destroyer. I'm a healer type thing. So in the beginning is to heal what my dad had broke. And I feel like if I do that, then I could unlock the power of healing. That's how my mind frame works.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 2 - Destroyer
I want to be able to talk to my dad because I don't even know how to take the steps to talk to him.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 2 - Destroyer
I know that if anything, I have to help my dad. How can I be a father to my son if I can't even stand up to my own?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
Honestly, not really. I mean, guys do crazy things all the time so they can spend time with girls. Like, it's not that crazy. Wow.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
Listen, I am not a serial tire slasher, all right? Oh.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
I did this one other time, and that was only when we were six months together. So it's not like I've done this a million times.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
Oh, I mean, I'm sorry. Like, it was my tire.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
You guys are acting like I committed murder or something. I mean, I literally flashed my own tire. Get over it, guys.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
It was a screwdriver.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
You're missing out. Listen, I'm pretty crafty. I'm romantic. I got all of it.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
I mean, she stayed around a couple more months after I flashed my tie the last time. That's sweet.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
I mean, you're probably 50% right.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
It didn't really work out that way.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
Her name is Tracy. Tracy.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
We actually met on Hinge and we had been chatting for a while. And then we decided to go out, play mini golf, something that we both were into. And, you know, it's kind of interactive. It's easy.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
I guess when I brought up the idea, she was into it. I was into it.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
Perfect. So we had a good time, honestly. We played for a while. At one point, I decided to play a joke on her. So when she turned around to putt, I hid behind one of those big mountains that they have. And I was back there for a bit and she was calling my name.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
I heard her say, did I seriously just get ditched again on a date?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
So what'd you do? I felt really bad, but I was still having fun, so I just kind of came out and surprised her. She definitely was a bit put off at first, I think. Yeah. Oh, no. But she started laughing. Regardless, I think it was a funny moment.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
It was a good attempt. Yeah, like it wasn't really like that thought out. It kind of was in the moment type of thing.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
Yeah, after she stopped crying, she laughed about it. What?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
So after that, we ended up going back to her apartment. And we hung out. We had some drinks. And towards the end, she was a bit tired. She had a long day. So we just kind of wrapped things up, and we planned to see each other again. So I went outside. I get to my car, and I realized someone slashed my tire.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
No, not that I know of. Oh, so this was random? I guess so. I didn't know who it was.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
First off, she doesn't really live in the greatest neighborhood. So at that point it was kind of like, I need to kind of get out of here. And I didn't want to wait on the sidewalk for AAA or whatever. So I went back there. I mean, she was shocked that it happened, but like she invited me back in.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
But I stayed on the couch. I didn't like stand and get better or anything. Okay.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
Yeah, actually. So the next morning, AAA came while we were waiting for them to change my tire or whatnot. We had orange juice, split a bagel. It was nice, actually.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
I mean, guys, I even got a quick kiss before I left. Oh, you did? I definitely think it ended on a high.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
I mean, at least.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
Okay, we weren't going full throttle, but I got a kiss.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
I mean, I can't really think of it. I liked her. I thought it was a great date. Unless it was like the mini golf situation, I don't know.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
Yeah, I'm here.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
Justin, go ahead. I didn't see any cameras out there, so honestly, that's on me, I guess.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
Listen, it was probably one of the best dates I've had in a really long time, and that's why I did it. I wanted to spend more time together.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
Well, I mean, if it's any consolation, it wasn't cheap. It still cost me $250. I had to replace my damn tire. Oh, wow.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: After Date Double Trouble
I just did it. I don't know. I thought it would make a great story down the line, too. Family reunions or a wedding, whatever.
Deep Cover
Episode 4: The Suspect
Veterans look out for each other. And I'm not going to sit here and let a fellow, what I thought at the time was a fellow veteran, die from lack of treatment.
Deep Cover
Episode 4: The Suspect
Dave told me like, hey, she's fake. She's not a veteran. And I was just in shock and trying to just like wrap my brain around it.
Deep Cover
Episode 4: The Suspect
I had NCIS, I think FBI and VA investigators all, I sat down with them all at the same time. They were extremely sympathetic, first of all. I mean, they were visibly upset. But they just kind of laid it out, and they said, look, this is what we think she did.
Deep Cover
Episode 4: The Suspect
What immediately occurred to me was that as soon as I told her I had cancer, even though she was telling me it was okay, in the back of her mind, she was thinking, I can take advantage of this.
Deep Cover
Episode 4: The Suspect
I just couldn't wrap my head around what kind of person would do that to another person that was, especially that was... you knew was sick, that was getting treatment, that was dying, and you're going to take advantage of that person with no reservations whatsoever. I thought about it for a very long time after that. I couldn't stop thinking about how much I was violated by that.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
This is Sarah Cavanaugh. She's the person you've been hearing about for the past two episodes.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
While Jess was meeting with Sam, I was just a few miles away meeting with Justin. He's the guy that Sam called to get a reality check when the rumors first started. Justin was one of Sarah's buddies from the VFW. And initially, like Sam, he was very much in disbelief. Even now, knowing everything he knows about Sarah, Justin still struggles to wrap his head around everything that happened.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Justin is in his early 50s. He's fit. He looks like he could be part of a marketing campaign for Peloton or something. And he has this really disarming, gentle energy about him. Feels like an old soul to me. I wanted to talk to Justin for a whole bunch of reasons, but mainly because Justin's story, it's really compelling in its own right, which is probably why Sarah was drawn to it.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Justin spent most of his career as an officer in the Navy, as an aviator. And when he looks back on his life, on all the dangers, all the near misses, all those moments that quietly changed the course of things, He often thinks back to 2008, when he was in his mid-30s, stationed in Iraq. And what he remembers is the fog. The fog came every night, thick and heavy with the wind.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
It got so bad some nights they could barely breathe. This fog, it would stay with Justin in the years to come. In ways that he could never have foreseen, it would lead him right into the haze of Sarah Kavanaugh's deceptions. The fog in Iraq, it started like this.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
This fog that Justin's talking about, it's really a miasma of smoke and fumes. It came from a burn pit, which is how the military disposed of waste in both Iraq and Afghanistan.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Justin was responsible for nearly 500 service members. Their safety was on his shoulders. And he and his leadership team were worried about the long-term effects of the fog.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Jess and I spent the better part of several days interviewing Sarah. We talked about her past and her life now and a great many other things too.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Justin says the contractor just shrugged and said, that's what I was told to do. No explanations, just business as usual. It would be more than a decade later before Justin learned the real consequences of those burn pits. By then, he was living in Rhode Island with his wife and three kids. He was happily retired from the military. All was good until he started to feel this small ache.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
But it didn't go away. And eventually, Justin's doctor at the VA suggested that he get a CT scan, just to be safe. That's when they found the mass in his lungs. At first, the doctors told him not to worry. It probably wasn't anything too serious. I mean, he was so young, so healthy, so fit. But then he went to see a pulmonologist at the VA and learned he had stage four lung cancer.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Justin says his wife had always been his lifeline. Even so, this cancer diagnosis was uncharted territory for Justin and his family.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
But he did have someone who seemed to get it on a personal level. And that was Sarah Kavanaugh. Sarah and Justin knew each other from the VFW. They'd been close for several years, ever since Justin joined the Post back in 2017. And that whole time, Sarah herself claimed that she'd been fighting cancer, lung cancer. Sarah claimed the cancer came from her military service.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
claimed her vehicle had been hit by an IED, and she'd inhaled the metal particles in the blast. For some people, cancer is now a chronic condition, something you can manage and live with. And that seemed to be the case with Sarah.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Sarah had always been a friend, but in this moment, their friendship seemed to take on a deeper meaning.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Sarah told Justin she was on an experimental dose of an immunotherapy drug, and it was working. But according to Sarah, the VA was cutting back on her treatment. This story hit home for Justin. He'd faced his own bureaucratic roadblocks within the VA. In fact, he'd eventually gone outside the system to Dana-Farber in Boston to get the experimental treatment that he needed.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
It was too much for her. The whole thing was frustrating for Justin. And he felt like he couldn't just sit there and do nothing.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
At last, Sarah agreed. In the months that followed, Justin gave her money to pay for private insurance, over $5,000 in total, all in the hope that it would keep her alive. Then one day, Justin gets a call from Dave Ainsley at the VFW. You know, the guy with the handlebar mustache. He was the previous commander at the post, before Sarah.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Dave explained how he tried to retrieve Sarah's discharge papers, her DD-214, and how Sarah had been one step ahead of him, absconding with the paperwork before Dave could get his hands on it. Justin says that he believed Dave, but part of him resisted, part of him was in denial. He kept asking himself, who would do something like this, and why?
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Around this exact same time, rumors began to swirl about Sarah being a fraud. And then Justin heard from Sam. Her head was also spinning, trying to make sense of all this.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Because, remember, Sam, she'd seen all the proof. The Wounded Warrior enrollment forms, stacks of medical records. Someone claiming to be Sarah's VA caseworker had even sent Sam official documents, blood work, diagnoses, intake forms. It all looked legit. It was enough to give Justin a moment of pause.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
This was just a few minutes into our first conversation. At this point, I knew a fair amount about Sarah Kavanaugh and what she'd done, about all the people she'd deceived and hurt. I had a pretty good picture in my head of who she was. And this? This was not it.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Like, was there some other explanation here? A story that made sense of it all, that turned the world right side up again, and somehow transformed Sarah back into Sarah? And if not? Well then, so many other questions bubbled to the surface. Like, where did that stack of medical records come from? And what if the rumors were true? What did that mean for Justin?
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
If the one person who got it, who'd been through it, what if that person was just performing mimicking his own pain? Where did that leave him?
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
This woman, well, she sounded more like a high school guidance counselor or the type of person you'd hope would be taking care of your grandma at the senior citizen home. In fact, she told us, working with seniors, that was her first job.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Deep Cover, The Truth About Sarah was produced by Amy Gaines McQuaid and Tali Emlin. Additional production support by Sonia Gerwitt.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Original scoring and our theme were composed by Luis Guerra. Our show art was designed by Sean Carney. Fact-checking by Annika Robbins.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
And I'm Jake Halpern. My co-host Jess McHugh is currently researching a book on female con artists.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
You'll also get bonus episodes, full audiobooks, and binges from your favorite Pushkin hosts and authors. Find Pushkin Plus on the Deep Cover show page on Apple Podcasts or at pushkin.fm slash plus. All right, let's get into it.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
But instead, she got her master's and became a social worker. Eventually, she got a job at the local VA in Providence, Rhode Island. That was her job, helping veterans in some pretty tough situations. And this is 100% true, by the way. Many of these people coming to Sarah for help, they showed up maybe on a Saturday, kind of reluctantly, and it was Sarah's job to put them at ease.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
What she never wanted to do was send veterans elsewhere to some other program, you know, push them off on someone else.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
Sarah went on from there, talking about her old job and who she once was, because, as you might have guessed, she's no longer a social worker. She has another life now, very different life, one in which she has a great deal of time to think about what she did and the people she hurt most.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
When Sarah says this, she's really talking about two people who trusted her deeply. In this episode, we're going to hear from both of them. And these aren't just stories about friendship. They're about what happens when you meet someone, a confidant, who seems to get you and understand what you're going through. Someone who listens quietly with what seems like empathy. But herein lies the danger.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
What if that very person takes your most personal struggles and uses them to their advantage, sees them as an opportunity? Then the line between empathy and manipulation is thinner than we'd care to admit. And sometimes the people who know us best are the ones we should fear the most. I'm Jake Halpern.
Deep Cover
Episode 3: The Confidante
And this is Deep Cover Season 6, The Truth About Sarah. Episode 3, The Confidant.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
Ooh, I'll say one and you say a different one. Cause they, our team, our build team is insane. They built the craziest things. But, uh, this year we, we made our first movie. Um, and we had our build team in our warehouse, build an entire spaceship. Really? From scratch. So it had like eight different rooms, a command center, hallways. It literally looks like a Star Wars scene.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
So in my opinion, that was our craziest build. I'll show you after. Or you can put it up on screen.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
Yeah, this is the scenes from our movie, but this entire set, this is just one of the rooms. one of the many rooms that our build team did. We wanted to make it look like a spaceship. Oh, that's awesome. This is the bridge of the ship. Everything, the chairs, handmade, like all of it. Every little detail, yep.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
You had to take a helicopter to get there. Only one guy owned it because he bought it and he's the one maintaining it. So the rust of all the legs is like from seawater. He's having to fix them and replace them. And it was insane.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
We literally did a dangle.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
Children keep you in line. They change your perspective on things. We've had to change over the years. We used to do pranks. Now we just do fun adventures. But they kind of just change your heart and being like, man, I got to be different. I need to mature more. And so they've helped in many, many, many ways. Oh, that's awesome. Thank you.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
And we need to settle something with Uncle Si, too. Uh-oh. What'd you guys settle with him? No, nothing bad.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
What have I done? Okay, Uncle Si, have you heard of ChatGPT? Out of what?
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
Well, I was hoping to get some answers when we were coming in for the podcast because I'm like, Andrew, it'd be super cool if we brought Uncle Si like his favorite food. But I'm like, I don't know what it is. So I'm like, okay, chat GPT. I'm going to ask it. What is Uncle Si's favorite food?
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
Yeah. All right. Well, do you want to hear what ChatGPT said? What? Uncle Cy Robertson from Duck Dynasty is known for his quirky and humorous personality, often making jokes about his love for sweet tea and various southern foods.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
While he hasn't officially declared a favorite fast food chain, he's mentioned enjoying classic southern comfort foods, so it's likely that he might appreciate places like Chick-fil-A or KFC for their chicken dishes. However... For a definitive answer, there isn't an official statement from him about a specific favorite fast food restaurant.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
I need to be on a sugar high too. Since you have just figured out what chat GPT is, you could ask it anything, any question. What would it be? We could ask it right now and it'll answer it with a voice. Find me the best looking woman there is. I am with Uncle Cy from Duck Dynasty. He is wondering if you could find him the best looking woman that has ever existed. This ought to be good.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
I'm with Uncle Sy from Duck Dynasty. What is the- You're welcome.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
I am with Uncle Si from Duck Dynasty. What is the best life advice you can give him?
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
Well, first of all, thank you for having us here on the podcast. You guys are legends. I mean, to be here, I've been so thrilled ever since we first figured that we were going to be on the podcast. So I'm just, I'm so happy to be here and talk with you guys.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
Yeah, well, I mean, we've been working on that book, feels like a year now. Because like on our YouTube channel, we're all about entertainment and providing, as you have mentioned, our Models Laugh Daily, providing humor through the means of entertainment. And so we don't often get to talk about our faith because we are strong believers in Jesus Christ and he's changed our lives in every way.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
And so that comes through entertainment for us. God has given us the ability to kind of entertain through YouTube. So-
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
I mean, at the end of the day, like you said, like, don't be deceived by just the, the colorful, playful, uh, cover. Although a lot of like what you said.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
yeah and so like that's a job the stories that we tell are simple for for kids to understand but like think of the message of the gospel like we have a deep as christians a deep uh obviously understanding of like certain things that maybe new believers don't understand but we wanted to be able to express uh biblical truths through stories kind of like how jesus did and uh
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
It's for kids, but it's also for adults. That's what I'm saying. Don't be deceived by the colorful cover.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
My last name is Stuart and sites.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
The only limit is our imagination with our motto being laugh daily. That comes from Proverbs 17, 22. A joyful heart is like medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Duck Call Room
JStu Opens Up to Uncle Si About Their Scariest Ideas to Date
I mean, Andrew and I, we mainly come up with the ideas, but we do have a team. We have 15 people on our team who are editors, builders, creatives, production. So we wouldn't be where we are today if we didn't have the help that we do have.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Number three. Hello all, as a fellow Minnesotan and longtime listener, I've been contemplating whether to write for this platform. However, I'm an avid listener of FKSTHT and Midwest Married, and I find the discussions you engage in to be highly engaging. How to talk to a mother-in-law about the uneven treatment of grandkids. Backstory. We're a military family. I'm 36. Husband is 37.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
And the kids are 9, 6, and 3. We haven't lived near our families in 16 years. Since we don't see them as often as we'd like, the majority of our communication is through texting, calling, or FaceTiming. My mother-in-law, 55, seems to favor my daughter over my sons, particularly on birthdays.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Most recently, for my daughter's birthday, my mother-in-law reached out days in advance to ask what special gift my daughter would like. I offered four ideas, thinking she'd pick one. But instead, she sent three of them from her and the other from my sister-in-law who is autistic. For my daughter's birthday, she reached out to call and wish her a happy birthday via FaceTime.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
My middle child, my son, celebrated his birthday a few months ago. Surprisingly, he didn't receive any birthday wishes from his grandparents or aunt. Earlier that night, I had shared a happy birthday post from him on social media. The next morning, my husband received a call from his dad.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
I, 33 female, have been with my husband, 30 male, for almost six years. I absolutely love my in-laws. I got so lucky with having a wonderful relationship with my mother-in-law. Recently, my mother-in-law has been living on our property until they build a home closer to us. Father-in-law has not been living here but comes down at least once a month.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
His dad had informed him that he had just purchased a gift for him on Amazon and it would arrive within a day or two. However, my father-in-law didn't initiate any conversation with my son to wish him a belated birthday. We didn't hear from my mother-in-law until we texted them to inform them that the gift had arrived a day or two later.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
We also suggested that they join us for a FaceTime call while my son opened the gift. They agreed to the call and wished him a happy birthday. However, they didn't acknowledge or apologize for their delay in birthday wishes. They've also missed my youngest son's birthday, sent him a gift five months later. I'm thankful he was so young so he didn't notice.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
In the past, they've sent texts for my middle child saying happy birthday, but whole video messages gushing how much they love and miss my daughter. I honestly don't care about the gifts in general. If they choose not to send a gift for birthdays, that is fine, but make it the same for all of our kids. We don't know how to bring it up without offending my mother-in-law.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
We've had to walk on eggshells for a very long time in general when it comes to her. The last time we were back in Minnesota to visit, she was offended our family of five didn't want to stay in their small three-bedroom farmhouse. With my in-laws and my sister-in-law.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
To the point where she pushed past us to get to the grandkids and didn't even speak more than a handful of words to my husband and myself for hours once we arrived. I won't be the one talking to her. My husband has to. She has made comments to him in the past like, is this you talking? Insinuating I'm the one behind a decision.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Or when she told him, I know you have two women in your life to balance. Meaning my husband has her and myself to balance. I will add he is amazing and shut that down quickly, saying he only has one, his wife. Honestly, this is only the tip of the iceberg. Do we wait for our youngest birthday to come and see if the pattern continues?
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
I worry if we wait too long, my middle child will really notice his sister gets more gifts, more messages, more calls. And I don't want him to feel that way. I've been there and it hurts to feel less than or forgotten.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Father-in-law is very bubbly in nature and we get along great. Recently, he confided in me that their marriage of 40 years has been on the fritz. They are super conservative Christians and he told me things about their sex life that I do not need to know about. I won't be too detailed, but he's clearly not been laid in years and I think he is frustrated or something.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Yeah, it is interesting because I think the, you know, the dynamic of how things have been in the past with her makes me feel also, like you said in here, that it should be the husband. But it depends, you know, it changes when it's kids from the both of you. Whoever does it, fair, right? It could be either, which is cool.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Of course. So that's great. And then, you know, I just hope it gets through because if she doesn't change, you know, you can't force someone to change. It just doesn't work. And so if she doesn't change, then I'm just starting to think about how we deal with it on our end with our kids as the writer. Do you start controlling? Because obviously the packages and things are coming in to you.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
It's not like they go straight to the kids. So do you start controlling? I don't, limiting, like if your daughter gets all these gifts and then the others don't really get, I mean, how do you start dealing with that if she doesn't change?
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
I guess that's the only way because kids catch on real quick. When things are unfair as a kid, I can remember, you know, it's like that's built into you from, you know, instinct.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
I would be too, but holy shit, I'm not a marriage counselor. I wish I could talk to mother-in-law openly about her lack of desire for that, but there's no way she'll be open to it. They need counseling or something, anything at this point. What do I do here? I don't want to be an asshole and tell him to never talk about his problems again. But why me?
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Yeah. Here the ideal outcome to have a conversation without her being offended. So, you know, I think she will be offended or act like it. So it's really having an effective conversation where, you know, she's maybe a little bit offended, but it's got to start now.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Well, then he should be more on it then too.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Yeah, just, you know, you hope this can evolve before.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Anyone else out there, let us know what you think. And as always, add the comments in the YouTube.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Four. Let's go do it. Okay. On to number four. On to number four. Dear Jerry, That'd be me. Morgan and Justin. That would be you. I love both shows and have been binging FKS lately. I will try to be brief, but it's a long story. I'm a mother of two little boys, 19 months and four months. They are my world. My oldest looks just like my husband and my youngest looks just like me.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
The women in my husband's family do not like me. They are obsessed with my oldest because of who he looks like. They want nothing to do with my youngest. Lately, my mother-in-law has been making comments about how I must have cheated on my husband because my youngest looks nothing like him. He looks like his brother, just with brown hair and gray eyes instead of platinum blonde and blue-eyed.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
On top of that, they're constantly belittling me as a mom saying I raised X amount of children. I know what I'm doing better than you do. My husband is constantly telling me that they aren't trying to be malicious, but at this point, the favoritism is very obvious. What would he call it?
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
I either have to suck it up and take this to my grave or tell my husband? He would be mortified. Sorry, this is a lot. I love the shows and would appreciate a take from Jerry, Justin, and Morgan on this whole thing. I hope I made sense. Thanks, guys.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
They always have brand new clothes, shoes, and toys for my toddler and don't even acknowledge my baby. They have always spoiled my toddler and we thought the same treatment would happen for our baby. I've already been the grandkid my dad's parents didn't like. I have an older sibling and two younger and don't want my baby to go through the same self-worth struggle I go through every day.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
My husband insists his mom doesn't do anything maliciously towards my baby, and I grew up hearing the same thing from my dad until he saw it with his own eyes at a family Christmas in 2018. All the grandkids and my brother's girlfriend got a Christmas card but me. My question is, how do I get my husband to see this bullshit now and not when our baby is 22?
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
And how do I go about convincing him to cut them off and stop giving in to all of their demands when they do nothing but tear him down? My toddler is their do-over, as they call him. I'm not really sure what ideal outcome I want. I just want my babies to be loved equally or my husband to walk away, which I know would take a lot.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Yeah. Well, and this, you know, it echoes the story number three.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
But this takes it even a step further because our writer here, still is affected by going through this exact same scenario. And so it's so ultra personal, it's immediately triggering. And also from the jump, the women in my husband's family do not like me. So we're already at that as a baseline and we're building this from that foundation. And, you know, I honestly,
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
I didn't recognize how prevalent favoritism is. I just, I feel like I'm underqualified to speak on this one any more than what we had said kind of in the last one and what you just said about if you're united front, with your partner, with your teammate. Man, that makes things a lot better. Then it doesn't necessarily matter who else all surrounds you.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
As long as you guys are rock solid and on the same path, as you said, then you can, that's the control you can have over the situation. Because just like the last one, you can't force them to all of a sudden start treating your other child the exact same as the one that's being favored.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
I mean, there's a little extra context here that may help My mother-in-law is a recovering narcotics addict. She was put on a lot of heavy drugs for paranoia, sleep disorders, and a blood clot. She is constantly angry with me because I won't allow her to be alone with my toddler.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Father-in-law has to be there because she has made inappropriate remarks and gestures towards my toddler, but also does not have the mental capacity to be with him alone. He also does not like her but loves my father-in-law. My husband has been treated like shit by his family his entire life and his stepdad has finally started treating him better now that his brothers have gone off to college.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
My husband is constantly seeking their approval and I think subconsciously he knows he will never get it. My husband's bio dad died when he was nine and that family has had nothing to do with him since. He comes from a really messed up family. So I think that plays in because- Counseling for him too. Of course, because he- is kind of seeking that approval and that welcoming and that acceptance.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
And so he's battling that while trying to maybe do that now that he has kids as well as a way for them all to connect and come together. While at the same time, maybe that blinds him from seeing the favoritism as much as his wife does.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Yeah. And for those of you listening, if you have dealt with any favoritism situations in the past, leave your comments, leave some advice for these write-ins, because we had two of them, very similar.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Yeah, and it can ultimately also help them deal with this current situation as well. Let's roll on to number five. Number five. Okay. Hi, Jerry, Morgan, and Justin. I've been listening to THT since the very beginning and the same with FKS.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
And these are my very favorite podcasts. And we love you. I'm hoping to get some advice in the work department. I've never been good with working, always struggled due to my mental health. I found out I was pregnant in February, yay, shortly after I left my job where I thought I was unhappy. I now work with my boyfriend's mom helping out with their family business.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
I guess where my issue comes in is I feel very out of my league as I have no experience in the work I'm doing. I feel like I am constantly not good enough and will screw things up with his family. I have massive amounts of anxiety every single day I have to work, which is affecting how excited I am about my pregnancy as I don't enjoy my days at all.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
I'm constantly thinking about work, thinking about what if I mess something up or don't do a good enough job. I've always struggled about being in my own head too much and just not being confident in myself with anything that I do. I've shifted to this job from my previous job because I was very unhappy with where I was and thought this was the route I wanted to take.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Now I'm having doubts if I made the right decision or not. My ideal outcome is to find ways to get through the next few months. I will stop working most likely in September sometime to go on maternity leave unless anything happens sooner that requires me to stop working. I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to not be so stressed and filled with anxiety about this job.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
The theme. Yes. The theme. is not necessarily in-laws, but it's your significant other's parents. So whether it's your boyfriend's parents, your girlfriend's parents, or your wife or husband's parents, or whoever your significant other is, it is their parents. Got it. So it all revolves around that. There's not really a term for your boyfriend, girlfriend's parents.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Oh, no. How many times did you accidentally send the wrong? Oh, one time. Oh, okay. I thought you were saying it was recurring.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Yeah, I mean, do you think it's worth eventually? I know we have maternity leave approaching, so it could be dealt with now. Or honestly, you have a nice natural break coming up where it takes you out of that daily office work you're doing. And then maybe when you get closer to the point where you are going to return, you would return to work, you could maybe have a conversation.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
with mother-in-law or whoever is also in the family business and say, hey, well, I'm, you know, not super, I've been reflecting on this job now that I've been away from it for a while. You know, I just, I feel like it may not just, it might just not be for me.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
I just found some more context too. I just read ahead. Oh, you did. I've been with my partner for almost six years and I really don't want this to ruin the relationship I have with my mother-in-law as we are working together three days a week. And I guess I don't have the same working drive that she does.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
I'm just working to pass the days until I go on maternity leave as my real passion is to have kids and be a stay-at-home mom.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
So there is a natural solution approaching where you probably won't go back to work. So what we're talking about here is having lots of anxiety and not liking any day leading up essentially to maternity leave. So do you think, take the pressure off, open your mind a little bit, but at what point is this taking such a physical and mental toll on her
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
that it's probably not healthy to keep working there until we get to maternity leave. I mean, where's the balance?
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
I don't think there's an aversion to working here. I think it's like, no, I'm excited to be a stay-at-home mom. I'll take all of that. I'll be working my ass off. But it's, I don't like the work I'm doing now.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Yeah, I guess it's a balance between do you truly, absolutely hate what you're doing every day? Or is it the worry and the anxiety that's making you hate it? And if you can sort that out, I mean, I think you can get through the next few months. I don't know. Even if you open up to mother-in-law and explain how you're feeling, there could be a really, a deeper connection there.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Yeah. And also if there's something you're worried about screwing up, you can always ask for help. I think a lot of people are afraid to ask for help, whether it's with counseling, whether it's just even simply asking your mother-in-law, Hey, I just, could you remind me how to do this? I don't think anyone has ever looked down upon for asking for help.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Before something's screwed up and it's too late.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
Hi, FKS family. Hi from Australia. I love Australia. Hope you're all well and having a great day on the pod. Here's my dilemma. To put it simply, my husband expects me to have the same relationship with his parents as I do with mine. My husband and I have been together for almost five years, married for one, and as much as I love my in-laws, they are not my parents.
Father Knows Something
169: Father Knows: The Parents...
We have a great relationship, and after hearing so many in-law horror stories on Two Hot Takes, I know how lucky I am with mine, and I do not take them for granted. Every now and then my husband makes comments about how my in-laws see me like a daughter and that they're my parents too now.
Father Knows Something
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I've never called them mom and dad, only ever referred to them by their names, and they've never asked me to. My husband also does not call my parents mom and dad. I don't expect him to, and neither do they. He's made comments in the past that he wants me to be closer to his parents, and I've made the effort to do so, but I also don't see any issues with the relationship I have with them.
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It's no different to the relationship he has with my parents and I feel like it's almost unfair of him to expect it to be. My mom and I are very close and she calls me almost every day to chat. I am not a phone call girly, so literally the only people I speak to on the phone are my mom and my husband.
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He's very much a phone call guy and has asked me in the past to just randomly call his parents to chat. I will always say hi when he's on the phone with them, but I just don't feel comfortable calling and chatting with them like I would with my mom. He's made comments in the past like, you call your mom all the time. Why can't you call mine? It'll mean so much to her.
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As much as I get where he's coming from, because he does call my parents to chat, I also get quite annoyed that he's expecting me to show my love and care for them in the same way when he knows it's not something that comes natural to me. I've noticed that he makes these comments mostly when things like Mother's Day or Father's Day come up,
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I'm the eldest daughter, so of course the gift-giving and planning falls to me rather than my younger brother. So when I tell my husband that I've organized a gift for my mom, he'll ask what I've planned for his mom.
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I've made it very clear that he needs to organize presents for his family, and he usually does with the help of his brother, but he will always make the, they're your parents too, comment first. It's almost as if he's trying to guilt me into taking on the mental load and task of looking for and buying a gift, and I hate it.
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I'm so stuck on how to address this with him because I don't want to upset him or disrespect his parents. Ideal outcome to have my husband understand that our relationships with our own parents are different to what we have with our in-laws, and that's okay.
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Yeah. I know. It's an interesting one to deal with. So are you saying ultimately you just kind of keep it to yourself and move forward and not engage husband at all? Not necessarily for him to go do something, but just so you're not the one saddled with all this.
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I don't want to disrespect his parents in any way, but I just don't think I will ever be able to see them as my parents because to be frank, they're not.
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Yeah. Additional info here. For context, my mother-in-law has cerebral ataxia, a disease similar to MS that affects her balance and motor skills and will likely cause her to pass in the next few years. It's been a hard few years seeing her get worse and worse, and it's affecting my husband more than he'd like to admit.
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I know the anxiety of having such little time with her is likely where this is all coming from, so it's hard for me to address this issue with him without the topic of her illness coming up. Also, my husband and I have a fantastic relationship, and this is one of the only things that has come up that's been difficult to move past.
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It's tough because I think your husband probably... is having a very tough time with his mom's declining health. And it probably is why he's feeling like he wants you to call and connect more and be more a part of it. His parents probably don't feel that there's any lack of love between you and them or that your relationship is not as good as it could be.
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Yeah. Well, I think it's maybe a balance between – because there should be some type of conversation. We need a realignment with your husband in some form that you probably won't have the same relationship you have with your parents with his parents.
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But also, why not try to do something where you plan some kind of day where, oh, I was thinking we could go with your parents and go do X or take them to see this place that we really love or just take the initiative to do something like that. So he's like, wow, this is amazing.
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She, you know, she does really care and is putting in the effort while also having him understand that, you know, I'm not going to call her every day, but I do want to make an effort.
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Yeah. And it doesn't have to be a one-on-one thing.
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Yeah, because nobody has to do anything they don't want to do. No, this is all good. But it's also being there for your partner and stepping out and doing some special things once in a while. He'll recognize it.
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Right, because you also don't want a situation where husband is kind of like, whoa, what the F? Why did you go to her with this? You don't want it to cause this whole, because he confided in her for who knows why.
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And if you have any advice, if you've been through any of these situations before. Right in. You have experience, please leave your advice because that is the most beautiful thing about this show. And probably the most helpful for these listeners is all of you that have experienced these things. Absolutely. So thank you for being here.
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Right. And, you know, ideal, I'll come here, figure out how to deal with these weird comments and maybe help him get her to open up. Honestly, any advice would be great. Additional info, I'm super open about things of sexual nature, but my husband would be so uncomfortable with this. So it seems it's probably easiest to...
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be on the same page as your husband, but then go back, maybe if it's a, I don't know if you're interacting over a call or the next time you see him, your father-in-law, maybe just say, hey, just, you know, if he brings it up even, I think you guys should go do this. But that's as far as your involvement should go. Because you're walking on, it's a sketchy territory.
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Yeah. That's the way I would do it. But, but husband doesn't need to get involved.
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Yeah, then I guess it's just more, it's good he knows and not necessarily, your husband doesn't need to know that necessarily your father-in-law told him this stuff. It's more that your husband is aware that you are aware that there's marriage issues with his parents. I think that's the bigger piece here. Because, yeah, he made the comments about the sex life and things like that.
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But really, the husband, what he needs to be aware of is probably just that there are some marital issues. Because then if something happens, it's not, you know, then you don't, like you were saying, you don't end up in the position where, oh, you knew this.
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They're just kind of your boyfriend or girlfriend's parents.
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Okay, number two. I'm ready. Hi, FKS family. I'm an Argentinian OG THT listener and jumped on the FKS train last year. My boyfriend's dad and I can't get along. We've been together for almost six years now, started dating at the age of 15, and that man still doesn't understand I'm not going anywhere, lol. For some context, my boyfriend's parents are divorced and he lives with his mom and
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Thus, I have a close relationship with her and get along just fine. His dad, on the other hand, I don't think he's ever liked me. Ever since we met, he has been distant and frankly, rude. We'll be sitting at the same four-person table for dinner and he won't say a word to me or even look my way.
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Ready to start? I am almost ready to start.
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His favorite hobby seems to be joking about how my boyfriend will slash should cheat on me, find another girlfriend, etc. All within my earshot, this isn't hearsay. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law have defended me a couple of times. I've told my boyfriend these comments aren't funny, but just flat out disrespectful, and he has supposedly told his dad to not make those jokes anymore.
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I guess you have experience on both sides of this. On what side of what? You've been a Significance parent, and you've dealt with Significance parents.
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There have been times where my boyfriend will invite me to spend the day with them, dad, sister, and him, or simply going to his dad's place for lunch or dinner, and I've refused because I honestly don't feel comfortable, but then I feel guilty because I also know it's important for him and it probably hurts him.
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I've talked about this with his sister and she says that's just how their dad is and that when I learn how to address him, we'll get along. By that, she means I should get on his level and talk back. To be honest, I have to bite my tongue every time he says something, but choose to be respectful and well-mannered. Thank you so much for reading. Sending you lots of love. Ideal outcome.
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I guess I just want to know how to proceed. Do I keep allowing this or should I talk back?
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I mean, you have to do something for yourself because clearly your boyfriend isn't. I mean, I'm also kind of thinking like, why isn't the boyfriend taking this more seriously? It doesn't mean he has to go blow up his relationship with his dad, but he certainly could stand up for you and make it so that you don't have to be the one to say,
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hey, I'm gonna probably stay back so I don't feel like shit after. As a boyfriend, you wouldn't, you shouldn't want to put your partner in harm's way emotionally or otherwise. I agree. And so if this is having that kind of toll on your partner, I think, you know, for me, it would make me feel like, well, I'm gonna, like, I have to do something about this.
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Either the next time it happens, you really seriously address it, or if that's just not going to happen. I want to feel from the boyfriend that A, he hears her, he understands, and he's not going to put up with that shit. He'll respect the fact that she doesn't want to go. But also just do something about it. You're just kind of letting it go.
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And it gets dicey as a person in the boyfriend's position because you are playing with, you're in the middle of these two and you're gonna have an effect on one of the relationships either way. So what's the best route to take? But in your case, our writer here, I think that's a great path forward. make the boyfriend understand why you're not going so that he's not hurt because you're not going.
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But also I would just look for a little bit more of him to stand up for you.
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It sounds like you're speaking, you know, through an intercom.
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Yes, that works. Unless boyfriend has a problem with you not going. And if that turns into a problem.
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Then we start to get another territory where it's like, all right, if we go and this happens, I'm going to leave. Unless you do something about it.
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Sometimes it just pays. And I just, I don't have a term for it, I guess, but like sometimes it's best to just not get involved and just say that like, Hey, I just want you to know, because I have respect for you and our friendship. Ashley is dating Liam. I'm not getting involved. I, you know, I feel I'm above this. I don't want any drama, but I, out of respect for you, thought you should know.
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I mean, it's a small world. People are going to find out. I mean, I look at my, you know,
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You're a rare breed. You're not the norm. No, not a lot of people-
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Yeah, but not everyone can get past that. I mean, there are so many people out there that would never be friends again with a friend. Look at the divorces that happen.
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Yeah. And I would say like, Sometimes in life, we need to be reminded, not every battle is ours to fight.
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This really has like nothing to do with you. This has everything to do with Ashley choosing Liam over Katie, because it sounds like they were friends in, at least in some regard.
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So if you've been affected, please go post your stuff on that. Last I checked, there was already 350 submissions. So there's a lot of people in our own community, in our own backyard that need help and need support. So if you want to give, check out their wish list.
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Well, I do believe it's irrelevant. She's still dating her ex and that's, I personally think there's many more people out there. I find it scummy. I don't think... Whether it's girl code or code or whatever, like... If you're friends with someone, why are you going after their ex?
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Then our writer is going to have to support the relationship. Otherwise, Ashley's not going to be your friend.
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I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who didn't support me and my relationship after I've proven it's good.
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Regarding girl code, it only applies if she's a good friend. When I transferred colleges at 19, I wasn't the best at making new friends. So it was a relief to be invited into a friend group via my outgoing classmate, fake named Candace. She seemed to welcome anyone and everyone with open arms.
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So it took me a while for me to notice that she treated people like possessions and toys for her own amusement. As I was realizing this, I also started to develop feelings for the guy she was dating, David. He's also been drawn into the friend group, and I put a lot of effort into maintaining a respectful relationship with him while falling hard.
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After I learned Candace had cheated on David, not just the one time he had forgiven, but twice, I realized I didn't want to stay in her orbit and planned to confront her about telling the truth about her most recent infidelity. Before I could, however, they broke up for unrelated reasons, and he wound up asking me out shortly after.
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I said yes, but we needed to take things slow so he could heal and we could decide what to do about the rest of the friend dynamics. He said he didn't want to maintain a friendship with Candace, so I let her and those who supported her cheating go. Eight years later, I married David and we just celebrated our fourth anniversary.
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I wasn't going to let the girl code take away the love of my life and certainly not out of a loyalty to a bad friend.
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And that... Could be Katie and Ashley. Could be. And our writer. Like that's how it could play out.
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I get it. And I don't like you using the word control because, I don't know if it's about control. I genuinely think there's just, if you are really good friends with someone and you go after their ex.
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That's what I'm saying, because I think you're like you're saying control. And I recognize we're giving this a lot of airtime, probably too much. But I just I find it disrespectful if you're if if Lauren or Alejandro or any one of my friends pursued Justin after we.
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Yeah, they've got a lot of volunteers, but one of the first nights, you know, we've literally met every single horse, every, you know, I don't know if there's 300 there or whatever there is, large animals that got rescued, but we watered Every single one, basically. So we're thinking of everyone that's been affected.
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Yeah. Like if me and Justin had kids and divorced, you know, 20 years down the line and had new partners, I would do joint Christmases still. Like that doesn't, that's fine.
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No, but I'm just like, you know, you, you, I don't know how my brain works best thinking 20 steps ahead. But like if it was then with, if he was then with like one of my best friends, fuck no, no. Like it's just, it's a line for me. I don't know.
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I think it's weird. I personally think it's weird. I want to hear everyone's comments. We need to have a poll or something. We can do a poll.
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Hi, FKS fam. I've been a listener of both podcasts for a while now, but I've never had anything to write in about. Now I do have a girl code dilemma, and I need some advice. I'll preface this by saying that I can count the number of crushes I've ever had on one hand. I am 22. There never came anything of them, partially because of me never acting on them. I am neurodivergent and very awkward.
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This issue has to do with a guy I've recently developed a crush on. He is my coworker. I know, coworkers aren't the best people to like because of obvious reasons, but he is also a very nice guy who shares my beliefs. I've had a secret crush on him for a while, but I've never initiated any conversations because I never found the right moment to do so. Also, because I am a coward, let's face it.
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I know, I mean, there's still people in North Carolina that are still struggling from, you know, the hurricanes and natural disaster there. There's just a lot going on. So we're hoping that this will be a nice escape today as we get into this episode. But, you know, please fill out the form and just know we're sending love to everyone.
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Obviously, I didn't tell anyone. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I found out that one of my coworkers likes him too. This girl and I get along pretty well. We are not friends or anything, but we are good coworkers to each other. She was the one who told me of her crush, meaning she trusted me with this information. I obviously pretended that my heart didn't sink at the news.
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We are all together. You are back safe and sound? The gang is back. Yeah, I'm feeling a little better still, like this cold.
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She is as shy as I am, but has taken bigger steps towards talking to this guy. So I knew from the start that I had to back off, and I did. I encouraged her to talk to him more often and to find ways to be close with him because I saw how excited she was when she was talking about him. It was cute to see, honestly, and it kind of pushed aside the feelings of hurt. But that did not last long.
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I was trying to pretend I was fine when actually I was really disappointed and let down by this whole situation. And I shouldn't be, really, because it's not like I've made any moves towards this guy. But now I can't help but feel sad. Even if, by any chance, this guy seems interested in me, I cannot accept that since I am aware of the crush my coworker has on him.
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It would feel really disgusting of me, to be honest. And I guess having that path blocked, whether I chose to take it or not, did do a number on me. It's as if a child hates broccoli, and his parents take away the possibility of him finding a piece of broccoli in his food by never placing it in there in the first place.
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The kid probably wouldn't have eaten it anyways, but maybe would have liked that to be his choice. I don't know if I explained it correctly. I'm not good with analogies.
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Ideal outcome would be learning what to do in these types of situations. I know I'll get over this crush eventually, but what can I do? And many other people in my situation, maybe I'll help them learn. What is best when there's a girl code involved? Do you ignore the feelings until they go away, or do you act on them?
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For those that are listening, my dad is wearing a t-shirt that says The Podfather.
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And that's the thing. Well, then she's going to turn around and say. No, the reality here is this other girl hasn't asked him out. He has not asked out either of them. It's unclear if our writer has even like really talked to him because the line here.
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The other girl has made steps towards talking to this guy. I encouraged her to talk to him more often and find ways to be close to him. I don't think either of them are making their feelings very clear towards this guy or saying, hey, let's grab a drink sometime. This has gotten goofy. I hate when people... And this is such a movie trope. And I don't know when we're going to stop doing it.
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And you got your Quince sweater on. I do. Yeah, look at you.
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Don't ever feel the need to bow out. You know what I mean? Absolutely, I know what you mean. I'm going to do you a favor because you're my friend and you can have it. Like... Quit doing that, people.
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This isn't girl code. You're coworkers. You get along pretty well, but you're not friends or anything. You say that right here. We are not friends or anything, but we are good coworkers to each other. Why are you going to let your coworkers stop you from maybe being with your husband?
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Come on. Why are you, like, trying to fall on your sword? Like, talk to him. Ask him out. You guys are coworkers. You could get a new job. You could be in college still, and this is a college job. Who knows? I don't know where you're at. But this is not that serious. I don't think you need to have a conversation. I think start talking to him.
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See if what you learn more is even... If you're even going to like him. So...
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I don't think you wait because then you kind of look goofy.
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Go for one. Start talking to him. See if you like him.
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That's all. Yeah. I don't think this is serious enough to have a conversation and quit. Is the martyr the right word here?
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Don't be a martyr. Like this person is not even your friend. There's no girl code you need to abide here. Could it make work a little interesting? Sure. But again, why let a random coworker stop you from maybe having the love of your life?
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And I am scared for what the comments say on that. I don't know. Maybe we're seeing it really differently, but I am excited for what you guys all have to say. Moving on, though.
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You didn't break girl code. You messed up by not telling her you were hooking up with him when you introduced them.
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Because technically she's the one that broke girl code, but she didn't know. Right. And you can only act on what you know. So, you know, if you're introducing and you're like, hey, this is my friend, C, D could, you know, think he's fair game.
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And then obviously we, I've had a cough and then the air quality in LA has not been great because of all these fires, which first and foremost, if there's any of you out there that are a part of our little family and you've been affected by the fires, please, please let us know. It has been just devastating here in LA the past, couple of weeks.
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I mean, I think it just gets to the point where if you want to, you know, if you have a friend who says, yeah, that we were just friends with benefits, it was casual. Go for it. Because our writer didn't care. Our writer was like, oh, I guess, you know, C and D are seeing each other.
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Whatever. I wish Dee would have known they had hooked up because then she's going into it where it's like, I would rather, you know, date this guy even if my friend has been friends with benefits with him because I like him. It helps to have all the information because now you have this person who's thinking, that was my friend. And she's hooking up with an ex.
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Even though it was three months and also probably really casual. It's just, you know, it's silly.
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By your logic, it's all fair and war until you say I do.
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And we haven't said I do yet, but we're clearly very committed to each other. If all of a sudden Justin started dating my friend.
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That would just be okay. I would say that you got... And I should still be friends with that person?
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Like, did I dodge a bullet if that were the case? Yes. Yes. But it doesn't make that action okay if he didn't have the same feelings. Like, anyone in these situations, if you don't have feelings for that person anymore, that's okay. You're entitled to your feelings and attraction. But call it off and...
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Yeah, I just don't. I don't. I think we're going to have to agree to disagree on this. I think this is definitely not. I can't wait to see breaking of girl code.
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I'm, I feel like I'm getting twisted up in a tornado right now. It's, it is so case by case basis as we see.
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You know, the bottom line is you have to be happy in your life. If you being happy is dating a friend's ex, then that's your prerogative. But you have to understand that there's consequences and consequences can be good. Consequences can be bad. But every action has an equal but opposite reaction. And so it's what you want to do. I personally don't date my friend's exes.
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No. You're done. I'm locked in. You're through. But I never did. That just wasn't my thing. Some people don't care. Some people have your view. So it really is a choose your own adventure.
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Give us names, you guys, when you write in. Letters are hard.
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Number five, you know, a little ping pong ball back and forth. I'm pretty sure my bridesmaid slept with a groomsman at my wedding who happened to have a newborn baby at home. Do I tell the groomsman's girlfriend? My bridesmaid, Jen, and a friend who was originally a groomsman, Dave, were very close the entirety of my wedding day.
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As soon as we got back from the bridal party photos, Jen had Dave's suit jacket on, which I questioned her about early in the night, to which she just replied, I'm just cold. And I gave her a very, what are you getting into look. Backstory, Dave was originally chosen as a groomsman, but his baby was scheduled to be delivered the day before our wedding.
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So my partner and I decided to tell him not to come and to stay and support his girlfriend. It had been a very hard pregnancy. He received this as well as you could imagine after being essentially kicked out of a bridal party. However, he was insistent. He still wanted to attend.
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And after talking to him and his girlfriend together, who was very supportive of him still attending the wedding, we decided he could attend as a guest. So the reception continued and everything was amazing.
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It was the most incredible night for my husband and I. Every time I see one of them though, the other is not far behind and my husband and I both bring it up to each other, but aren't going to let it overtake our night. The next morning, we hear from someone that stayed in the girls' room. We had two three-bedroom hotel rooms for the bridal party, one for the girls and one for the boys.
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That Dave was calling Jen multiple times at 2 a.m., and one of the others saw him banging on the door, calling her name, but didn't let him in because they didn't know if, one, Jen wanted him in there, and two, she was very drunk anyways. However, there were multiple doors to get in, and he ended up inside the room.
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We let this go and were caught up in our post-wedding bliss, but when we got back from our little honeymoon, we went out for dinner with Dave and his partner, and the wedding night obviously came up. He retells the night of the wedding at the table as, "...I kicked on with your family and friends in the room and then took forever to find my way back to the boys' room.
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I debated just sleeping under some trees at one stage, but eventually I found the room." Or something along those lines. Which my husband and I already know is a lie, and this brings back up the fact that this is a pretty fucked situation. So I message Jen and I say, Oi, I've just been told Dave was in the girls' room at 2am the night of the wedding. Any tea to spill? Her reply?
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Yeah, I think he came in the back and I was vomiting over the toilet. Apparently everyone heard me and he brought me water. Oh, and he got his jacket and expensive sunnies off me, lol. Me? How did he even know where our room was? Fucking special case, that man. He had never been to the girls' room. I know this. Her. He really is. I do not know.
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I think he might have followed the other girls because I left at like 11. And then she immediately changed the subject three times with three messages, which I replied bluntly to and left the conversation. That's all I've heard from her. We are now into the next day. My husband then messages Dave and it goes something like, did you get a cuddle from Jen at the wedding?
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Dave's side of the story started as, it was nothing. I just helped her when she was throwing up and then I crashed and left when the sun went up. Let's keep that on the download, yeah? Then the question of, how did you find out? Who told you? No one else knows I stayed over, only you. We made a promise not to tell anyone that I slept over.
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So not only has Jen lied to me when I've given her a prime opportunity to come clean, but I will never get the truth out of her, and she has really shown her true colors. I was already unimpressed with how she was behaving with Dave because it's just inappropriate. People were asking if they were together, even. especially since she knows Dave's situation and has met his partner.
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They aren't friends, but have met and spent time together. I've unfollowed Jen. I don't have time to waste on people that don't align with my morals or family values. But now I'm stuck. Do I tell Dave's partner? Do I subtly ask her if she ever got his jacket back off Jen? It feels so wrong not telling her. She deserves better.
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But my husband is in the camp of not wanting to be the one that causes drama. And he believes if he's done it once, he will do it again and eventually be caught.
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Yeah, I think like they're both telling the story of, ah, she was throwing up and, you know, whatever. There's no clear cut. Dave hasn't even admitted to his, you know, his buddy. Like, yeah, dude, we, you know, whatever. Like there's no admission of anything. So I think at this point. There's nothing really to tell.
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I mean, I just don't think it's worth it to get involved at this point unless you do hear something. I think, you know, you made the call of I'm not friends with Jen anymore. I'm unfollowing her because clearly she doesn't align with my morals. Even if they didn't sleep together, they flirted. There was things that I just found inappropriate. And like, that's totally fine.
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That's something you should do. But you don't have any proof. They have the same story. And I think you could do more damage to that family over potentially nothing. So it is a tough position. But obviously, if you hear anything else or get more proof, then... Yeah. If, you know, any of the other girls in that room said, well, no, they did hook up. I was I was there. That's a different story.
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But it doesn't sound like you have that info. You just have the info that he came in the room. Is that inappropriate in itself? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you could tell her that, like, I don't know if they slept together or not, but I know he slept in that room.
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That you could do because that you know for certain. And that's what he's admitted. And he's even trying to hide that on the DL. But you can't say anything else along the lines of they slept together or whatever because you don't have proof of that.
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But you could if you and your conscience, whatever, want to be clean, you could ask her like, hey, you know, Dave didn't sleep in the guy's room the night of our wedding. I just I do want you to know that.
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I know. I'm going to be very curious to hear what you guys all think about the code.
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I think it totally depends on the context. It does. I just want to get a match. The code is context.
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I think rule of thumb, don't shit where you eat. If you can avoid shit, Dating a friend's ex, you should probably try to avoid that. Don't seek it out. Don't go after people that are married. You know, just be a good person. But like, obviously, if your friend has an ex that they're they're done. They're done, done, done, done, done.
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And you think this is the love of your life and you're willing to burn the bridge of friendship to date this person, then that's something you should probably seek out. Assume the risk. You know, what if? Have no what ifs, as Justin says. So... A lot of content.
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So you're saying article B to section five C. I mean, this is like, this is point, you know, two subsection a point 2.1 in a like, you know, there's a lot here, but I know you guys are going to have thoughts. So please let us know what you think about these ones and come join us on patron. We've got another couple of these girl code and relationship drama type stories this month for patron.
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The code. It can't apply. It's the code. It's just the code because you can insert any gender here. It's the code.
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I don't think our writer is saying, I want Liam to be with Katie.
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And I think that, you know, that's somewhat fair. I mean, Liam and Katie dated for six years. Right. They almost acted as a married couple.
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And finances and all of these things. That would be like me and Justin breaking up today and one of my friends dating him a couple months later.
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Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want one of my friends to date what I thought, you know, if we split what I thought was the love of my life. I understand where our writer is coming from and being very torn. And like, even though I'm not on the best terms with Katie right now, this doesn't feel great. I fully understand where you're coming from.
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Altadena, Pasadena, you know, the Eaton fire, everyone affected by the Palisades fire up in, you know, the Palisades Malibu. I mean, it is truly devastating.
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I think it's hard because I would like to know how close Katie and Ashley actually are. Based on this, I don't get the vibe that they're, you know, as close of friends.
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And then I'm like, well, why were they so toxic? Was there abuse involved? Like, what did that relationship look like? Because I find it interesting Ashley would even want to go down that road if she observed such a bad relationship. But, you know, we don't know why it was toxic. There's a lot of context here. I think if this were me in your shoes... Do you plan on being friends with Katie again?
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Because it sounds like your relationship with her isn't healthy. You said yourself it's toxic at certain points. So I think you need to ask yourself, is Katie someone you even want to be friends with? Is that a healthy friendship for you? And if you answer no... then I would just let Ashley do her thing and not try to dictate what happens there because Katie is irrelevant.
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However, if your answer is yes, Katie's my oldest friend, I'd like to get on good terms again. I would go to Katie and I would just say, hey, out of respect, I'm not sure if you know this, so I would like to tell you You know, Ashley and Liam are starting to see each other. I'm not supportive of the relationship out of respect for you. Just so you know, there's nothing else I can do.
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Ashley's an adult. Liam's an adult. You guys are obviously very done.
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Everyone knows someone that's been affected. You know, my, My friend Grayson, who has been on a two hot takes episode in the past, lost his house. My guy, Miguel, who helps with my horses, lost his house. So everyone here in LA knows someone that has been affected.
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Yeah. I think in most people's minds, dating your friend's ex is disrespectful. It's just for a lot of people.
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Our writer has said, I am friends with you, Ashley. I just don't want to be around you and Liam together. And that's a fair boundary. I mean, Katie and her were best friends for however long, years and years and years. And that's fair. I find it weird when people go after their friends' exes. I think there are so many people out there Find a different one.
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But clearly there's some connection and Ashley is entitled to pursue that. She has clearly said whatever relationship she had with Katie is not worth keeping. She would rather pursue Liam. And, you know, maybe Katie would pipe in here and be like, you know what? I'm over all of it. I don't care what they do. We don't have that side.
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For our writer, you know, how I said I would address it is how I would address it. And, you know, you really have to ask yourself who you want to maintain your friendship with.
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Yeah. And I'm like, I don't know how this didn't click in my head a little sooner. I've actually been through this exact situation. One of my best friends had an ex-boyfriend and we did like a group trip and her ex-boyfriend's friend met and really connected with another one of our friends.
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So they started dating and because, you know, Our other friend was dating this guy who is good friends with the other friend's ex. The ex started coming around. And so one of the other girls was hanging out in this group of, you know, four people and started to develop feelings for our friend's ex. And it caused a big rift in our friend group. Huge. And you had some people like myself.
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Who thought it was scummy. And I knew that people were lying to my friend about it. And I was like, just come clean. If you're dating the ex, say it with your chest. Say it with your chest and come clean. And so she found out. And I was just like, you know, that's kind of scummy. Whatever. And... I kind of made my choice of who I was going to support based on how I felt about it.
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Yeah, it's just it's really, really sad. So, you know, I know a lot of you guys out there have asked. I've gotten messages at least like how to help. And there's so many different ways to donate. We are putting together a list kind of like an angel tree, but we were going to do it in January. And so. It's kind of good timing that we're doing that.
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And we had a lot of other friends in the group because we've got a big group of girls and a lot of others just said, I'm not getting involved. I'm playing Switzerland. And guess what? They ended up breaking up. the girl who was upset about her friend dating her ex got over it. And I was kind of on the outside like, well, why did I defend you when you're friends with her? Like,
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Hello, everybody, and welcome back to this week's episode of Father Knows Something. I love it. And now you can do it. Do it again. Good. I like that bow.
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It's like a penguin with a shiny pebble. We all love our little pebbles.
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I think it's hard because there's also people that we always say, yeah, deal with your family of origin, There's a lot of people out there that can't. There are so many people out there that cannot set a boundary with their parent or talk back to their mom or if their mom says a passive aggressive comment or their dad is being emotionally manipulative or guilt tripping them.
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There's a lot of people out there that can't stand up for themselves and can't set the boundaries. So it's like we can talk all day about like everyone needs to deal with their family of origin and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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But if you have someone that's unwilling or unable to do that, that's where you get to this boiling point of then she feels she needs to step in because her partner doesn't have that ability. And it is very hard. Like not everyone can do that. Even myself, like I struggle sometimes. It's very hard. So-
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Yeah, and that's exactly what happened. So the bottom line is your partner needs to be the one to really start setting these firm boundaries with mother-in-law. Your partner really needs to be the one
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to you know realize whatever it is within him where he feels that he can't talk and advocate for himself and whatever like he needs to find that strength to do that my only recommendation is honestly like couples therapy and individual therapy for him like
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I think that's really the only way forward because you do have a lot of questions and there are a lot of like, well, if we cut her off, is he going to grow resentment? And those are stuff that you guys are only going to be able to answer together in couples therapy.
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And a lot of it has to do with, it really is the maturity of the parent. Now, Justin was really funny tonight. In two instances, two separate occasions. And first occasion was, I'll go with the second. He said to me tonight, and you were there in the thing, you know, about family and, you know, helping his kids. And, you know, I don't know how you consider me. Am I one of your kids?
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And I said, absolutely. Absolutely. So you have to really get to the part where you have that relationship with the in-law that where do I really comfortably stand? Now, Justin can come to me with anything. And Justin could, together, you guys as a couple can certainly come at me or have a discussion with me. When I'm having, you know, frustration with you, Justin typically stays away.
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You know, he lets us deal with our own shit. And if I had something with him, I would, you know, talk to him directly. And I'm sure you would, but there's no doubt in my mind.
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So tonight we were at Austin's and they were painting. And we were talking about, you know, just my house and getting it clean and where am I? And so I was saying, you know, when Morgan came in, she came with a suitcase. When she left, it was three truckloads. And it's all gone. And he goes, well, a lot of that was your stuff.
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You can't pick 11 if he said 1 through 10.
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I said, definitely everything outside in the living room was my stuff because she was like a cancer. She came in and took my closet space and it all went out.
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Why does he make it so? I literally, this is so far from the truth.
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You're such a, um, I was part of that. What are you?
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Part of that was a story, but the bottom line was, is he came and he was defending you.
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He came out and he was not true. And he started to defend you. And I go, wait a minute. She's my daughter.
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No, it's not true. I had one little row in your closet and the rest was your catastrophe. You're like a human hyperbole.
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Okay. Anyways, the bottom line was I found it to be humorous on how he came to your defense. It was very cute. But certainly we did not go across boundaries or get into pissing matches on what's going on in this.
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And so I think that really comes down to the individuals to form those relationships, and sometimes they're not formable.
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He said 11. It's the same thing. I'll kick us off today.
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No, and that is what I wanted to bring up too. Sometimes they're not formable. I think everyone, you know, when you start dating someone, you have this like ideal goal in your head or like vision. You're like, I want a great mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship or I want to be super close with my in-laws. And like a lot of people want that. Yeah.
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And sometimes you're just not going to get that.
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You're not going to mesh. Like I've got a friend who dated this guy and the mom just did not like her, did not like her at all. And that was a big sticking point for her because she's like, I love my mom. I'm so close with my family. And I always thought I would have a really close mother-in-law relationship.
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And so when I went out to dinner with her and she played Candy Crush on her phone the whole time and didn't look at me, I was really sad about it. And it's just kind of like leveling your expectations. And it's like, is this person your person? You love them enough that you don't have the in-law lottery and you're okay with that. Because that is a sticking point for some people.
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Trigger warning on this first one, friends. It does contain talks of very unhealthy, toxic relationships. So if you feel you can't handle that today, please skip ahead. Hi guys, long time THT listener, and I'm just discovering Father Knows Something. You made it.
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Some people will not marry someone if they don't have a good relationship with the in-laws.
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You know something? And I can understand that sometimes.
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Because that's your life. It's your life. It's who you're getting into.
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I agree. I think it's totally fair for you to really go low contact with this woman. She kicked you out. You're living with her trying to save money and she kicks you guys out.
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I mean, this is a bit unhinged. And then going around, trying to go to the family, it's giving flying monkeys. She's trying to rally the troops. And yeah, she's giving very self-centered behaviors. Something's a little off here. So I do think it's best to go low contact, get your own space and move on.
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Three. Holding three fingers up for you that are watching. And for the ones that are not watching, I'm holding up three fingers.
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So Jonathan was calling me today and asking me things about his car and doing some mechanics. And I was walking him through steps and I said, father knows what Jonathan? He said something. I was right. I got, I nailed it exactly what he was supposed to do. And he saw it and he goes, wow. So anyways, here we are.
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You guys are wonderful. Okay, so here it goes. My 23 female mother-in-law, 46 female, wants me to continue having a relationship with my father-in-law. He's a 54 year old male and does not deserve the title. For some background, I've been with my husband, 27 male, for five years, married for one year.
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You know, this is a dynamic that has really gotten very, very challenging because of the father's cancer, obviously. So I don't know if they're going to need home care for the father with his cancer, going through chemo and other things or whatever. We have no idea how aggressive the cancer is. We have no idea what these people are going to go through and what they want to do.
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It would be interesting to know how big the grandfather's house is if there's room for them and the grandfather to be there and not force the grandfather to go move in with the dad, his son-in-law. These are some family decisions that have to be brought out and talked to.
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If the grandfather does not have a house big enough for the four of you, meaning the grandfather, you, your husband, and the child, then maybe you just need to go move somewhere closer and bite the bullet and say, we're going to have to go move into an apartment that's closer. And that's a decision you make with your husband. Right. It doesn't involve anybody else.
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So we don't know these facts, what's going on with really the inner workings of the father and his father-in-law.
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So yeah, that's what I was thinking though. Like you were thinking about moving in with the grandfather, especially hearing like in the additional info, grandfather is starting to fall, starting to fall. That worries me. So it's like, honestly, moving in, having a young little toddler around might make him, you know, feel younger and increase his quality of life, having family around him and,
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I think it could be the ideal situation, especially given his dad now. His dad might need some additional help. And it sounds like you're moving closer to the dad as well. So that could be really good for everyone.
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When Grandma Ellen... was getting out, you know, getting on in years and just before she passed. And I knew that she was upstairs and, you know, mom was there when you were there. I mean, there was a little army going on over there. And I, and I knew grandma was having a tough time going up and downstairs and we had this family discussion. you know, it wasn't very pleasant by the way.
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I mean, when the uncles got involved that I wanted to make an addition downstairs off towards the garden. So grandma was on the first level, never had to deal with steps, make life easy for her, get her a tub that she can walk into.
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I really wanted to do it right for her. And of course, all they cared about was something else other than really her health was her bank account.
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Yeah, they didn't want to mess up their inheritance.
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And that's what... This might be something that might be considered, that if the house really isn't big enough... and it's a two-story house and he's falling. I mean, we don't know what we're dealing with.
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Then maybe you might want to think of doing an addition or an ADU or something that would help in his lifestyle that will make it easier and more conducive for his mobility at this time.
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Ever since meeting my father-in-law, let's call him Steve, he has made some rude comments towards me and has been very passive-aggressive. He is very narcissistic, and in his eyes, he can do absolutely nothing wrong. Even if it is wrong, he will backtrack and turn it around and make it seem like you are the issue.
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Yeah, and then you all stay together. I mean, that might be the plan. Yeah.
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Yeah, there's a lot of families that do that. I mean, Justin, his family's kind of been talking about, you know, does his grandpa move into an ADU in his aunt's backyard? Does he get like a really, you know, no stair elevator condo? Like, what do you do? You know, and there's so many things with that. Like there's studies that show aging in place for seniors is better for them.
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So there may be a deal where you guys can... pay for the $20,000 addition or new bedroom or new bathroom or whatever, and then get equity in the house. And then the house becomes yours eventually. Who knows? Whatever you want to do to work that out. But I think your biggest concern is like, how do you even start this conversation?
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How do you approach it given the fact that your father-in-law, your partner's dad just got this terrible news. Mm-hmm. And probably doesn't really know what's going on yet. Are they doing chemo? Are they doing surgery? What are they doing? And so I get how you can feel like it's probably an uncomfortable time where you can't even bring it up.
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I think you can if you do it in a way that's like obviously sensitive and... You're kind of removing his dad out of the equation in terms of like, grandpa doesn't need to move in with him anymore. Let's just move in with grandpa. I think if you approached it that way, again, if that's possible, I think that's very, that seems kosher to me. What do you think?
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No. Not at all. No. I mean, it was a gift, a favor to you guys for him to move out. Like, him moving out of his home to go live with his ex-son-in-law... That's a feat for an older gentleman. So if you, like you said, you're miserable where you're at, if that's out of the cards now and you can't move in with him, because I do think that would be amazing. I like it too.
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Two years into my relationship with my husband, Steve and him were driving to work together. They work away and sometimes carpool together. Not anymore. He asked my husband, quote, Why do you want to be with her? She's too fat. You could be out fucking all those other girls. Jump to December 2023.
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I loved growing up and living with my great-grandma. It was a magical childhood. But if that's not possible, signing a year lease closer to where you work, closer to everyone is not a big deal. And you're happier. Your village is supported and everyone has maybe a little extra help. And it's a win-win for everyone. Most importantly, like you and your family, because you're happier.
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You're not depressed. You're not hating where you live. You're closer to work.
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Enjoy the whole ride. Right. And the bottom line, I think I started the whole thing by saying, number one, if it's not going to work, go get an apartment. Yeah. Go find a house to rent or something.
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That's right. This is all on you and your husband. Yeah. They're already married. Right.
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Yeah. So this is on you and your husband to go, you know, supply a home for you, husband and child. And if something else works out great. Otherwise you guys are go get, go get somewhere new where you're happy and where it's more conducive. That's it.
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Simple. Okay. We're going to move on to another one. Number four.
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Hi, Father Knows and Too Hot Takes Family. I'm a longtime listener, first-time poster. First, I want to apologize for how long this story is, but I want to paint a full picture with all the details so there is no confusion. Here's the story. Is it wrong that I, 26 female, don't want to spend the holidays or special events with my boyfriend's family, 25 male?
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149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
I want to start by saying my boyfriend is my person. We are about to move in with one another and started talking about our future early on in our relationship. We started our long distance relationship at the beginning of 2023. I met him through friends from college and we continued to do long distance. But now I am at least living in the same state as him.
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However, there's one issue with this picture. I don't respect his family and they don't respect me. At first, I loved his family. We started dating during a time of sadness as his mom had recently passed. Even with the loss, I felt comfortable and accepted by his family. My boyfriend has three brothers, 23, 31, and 36, and two of them have wives and children.
Father Knows Something
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I don't have any siblings or a large family, so I was excited to enter such a fun, large family that is very family-oriented. I particularly got close with one of his sister-in-laws, 28 female, as we are close in age and have other similar interests. We ended up spending a lot of time together when I visited, especially when my boyfriend had work.
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My husband was heading out to their house, only a 10-minute drive away, and found mother-in-law on the road in her car crying. This is a very common occurrence because they are constantly fighting. He tells her to come to our house and talk to us. She tells us all of the nasty and horrible things he has done to her. There are so many she could not even keep track.
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Because of this, I really began to trust her and build a great friendship with her. Fast forward to January 2024. Sister-in-law got pregnant and announced to the family. In March 2024, I visited the family and we hung out one day at her house while boyfriend was at work. We started a harmless, air quotes, harmless conversation about baby names.
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She then asked me if my boyfriend and I have thought about children and names, to which I answered yes. She asked if I could share those names, to which I didn't. A minute later or so, she asked again and promised that she is only asking so that she didn't take any names since there were two names she had to pick.
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I really trusted her, so I told her some of the names I loved and envisioned to name my future children, with the name Luca being the most special of all. When I told her and reiterated not to use them, there was no immediate response from her, but that they were cute names and she had never really heard of that one before. So we continued the conversation with laughs.
Father Knows Something
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That night, we went to dinner with our partners, and somehow names were brought up again. And I reiterated, again, not to use the names, just in case she didn't hear me or take me seriously. A few weeks later, my boyfriend was over at their house with other family members, and names were brought up. One of the top contending names for the twins?
Father Knows Something
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You guessed it, Luca. My boyfriend did pull his brother aside and mentioned how we liked that name and that we would be upset if they used it. When my boyfriend told me this, I was immediately hurt, but was hoping that they would listen to my boyfriend and I stayed optimistic. The months passed and it was finally September. They announced on social media the birth of the twin boys. Luca.
Father Knows Something
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Luca, the firstborn, and secondborn. Since then, I've kept my distance. I haven't texted the sister-in-law or visited the family, even though I said I would once the twins were born. I don't trust his sister-in-law or brother, and I find it very sneaky that they didn't even give us a warning. Now that the holidays are around the corner, I'm in a pickle.
Father Knows Something
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Since this baby name situation, I have taken a closer look at his family and some of our encounters. Our political views do not align. I have seen some very questionable posts on their social medias, and I have looked back on conversations that now make me uncomfortable and question their true personalities and family values. So, should I be honest with them?
Father Knows Something
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Should my boyfriend and I bring up how we feel about the baby's name? Do you think too much time has passed for my boyfriend and me to confront them? I feel like in order for me to be comfortable around them in the future, they should be aware of how we feel. But my boyfriend and I are not very confrontational people.
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Ideal outcome, I don't want to keep feeling inferior or feel like I must miss holidays with his family or find excuses to not visit. I want my boyfriend to be around his family and I would love to go get a place where I can also be around them because his nieces and nephews are adorable and they don't deserve to be placed in this category.
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However, right now, I don't want to be a part of the family where I don't feel supported or valued. It took me a long time to find the courage to stand up for myself after not being supported by my own family and past friends. And I made a promise to myself to never put myself in situations like that again or be involved with people who constantly put me down.
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Me being the empath that I am, now I feel bad feeling this way towards his family.
Father Knows Something
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Well, first of all, they're not putting you down. They gave you the highest regard because they stole a name that they were not able to come up and be creative enough to find.
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When she's telling us these things, she mentions that she wants to leave and how she's so much happier when he's away at work. My husband and I offered to get a place for her and her kid. She made a therapy appointment that day and started going, and it has helped her immensely. She says she will only stay with him if he goes to therapy and gets help.
Father Knows Something
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That's right. So they paid you the highest compliment by stealing it from you.
Father Knows Something
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Yeah, what's that saying? Imitation is the...
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you know the one imitation is the most flattering thing of all or something like that something so the only thing that you really I don't agree with it it's rude look what they did really sucked there's no doubt about it especially when you told her and you went under trust not to use it the first thing she did she said wow what a great name I gotta use it she didn't even want to at first well we don't know what no no no she didn't even want to say it at first right she literally said no I don't want to share right no I'm good
Father Knows Something
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Anyway, the fact that you did and the fact that it got out and the fact that they used it and it's on the birth certificate, we got to go move forward.
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I'd still use it. If that's a name you truly love, use it.
Father Knows Something
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but you can also be more clever and come up with another one too.
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You can, but if that has such sentimental value based on something or you truly love it, I would still use that name.
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And you may, but even if you use it, and I'm sure you'll love your nephew, and love the name that he has. I mean, you can make a positive thing. Rather than making war, you can make something positive. I'm not for a second saying that she was right. She was a jerk. There's no doubt. Both of them. They both agreed to take a name that you created and gave them. So maybe it's a gift.
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Yeah. I mean, I don't know if she created the name Luca, but like it was definitely a unique name. And sister-in-law said she'd never even heard of it before.
Father Knows Something
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Well, no, Luca is not a name she created. I mean, we had Luca Brasi in The Godfather.
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No, you said created. I'm like, well, I just, I don't think she created it.
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No, no. I mean, she's the one that brought it forward in this case. She brought that energy.
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And I think it's hard because like a lot of people fight over baby names, siblings all the time. This is a very common thing that comes up.
Father Knows Something
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Yeah, I've had it on my show too. I mean, it comes up. So you just have to ask yourself like the bottom line, you are extremely disrespected. I don't think you need to exclude yourself, though, from family events and the rest of your in-laws because you still have his two other brothers, one of their other wives, kids, whatever.
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I don't think you should exclude yourself because that's only going to make your life harder. I would go to family events. But I wouldn't go out of your way to interact with those two.
Father Knows Something
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If she asked you anything personal, you can easily just say, you know something.
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You asked me something personal one time and it bit me in the ass and you disrespected me. And I'm trying to understand why you'd want to hurt me. And let it go at that and just say, you know, I really find I can't open up to you. It's sad because the one person that created this barrier is you. And you have to own it.
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And if you could figure out a way that I can find that I can trust to talk to you and know that it's not going to hurt me, well, you know, right now I can't. And you do it just like that and... That might be an answer where she might say, look, I need to remedy this. It depends how smart she is. If she's smart, she'll try to remedy it.
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I'm not sure why, because he has treated her like shit for the last 11 years. The past few months, it's been super awkward and high tension boiling over. He will not say hello to us. It's kind of like seeing someone in the grocery store who doesn't want to see you. He just leaves and goes to his garage.
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If she really does have... People that are that selfish and self-centered and disrespectful?
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Probably not. Probably not going to remedy it. But look... You move on, you move forward. This is going to be years of being with a family. And the more you have that, you know, that acts out, the longer it's going to take to really have a relationship of a family thing. You kind of have to let some stuff go and just say, I'm really glad he really fits the name and he's a good kid.
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Dude, I would have blasted this on the family Facebook page. Group chat galore.
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Mother-in-law tells us how he has been spiraling and treating her worse, and she is so close to leaving. April 16th, she tells us how she hasn't talked to him in three days. He's away at work because he's been completely ridiculous. The next day, he books a therapy appointment. She is totally caught off guard because she has been begging him to go since she started going in December.
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Yeah. I think you made some really good points, and I will say these are just two people. Don't let it ruin the whole family for you. Do you address them? I don't know if you want to send a group text between you, your boyfriend, and the sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and let this come from your boyfriend because this really is his family. but you're also very hurt.
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And I think he can express that. But I think because he also did go to his brother and say, Hey, we love this name. We will be hurt if you use this. And his brother still did that to him. Like that is also like, it gives him even more justification to be the one to initiate this. And I think it can be simple sending in a message like, Hey, You know, we've took some time to really process this.
Father Knows Something
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And we do just want to know we are deeply hurt by you using a name we specifically asked you not to use. I initially didn't share because I was scared you would take it. And you did. Yeah. And so we're really, really hurt by this and hope that you can be more respectful of us in the future. And if we distance ourselves from you, this is why. I think you absolutely have that within your right.
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And just, you'll see them at family events. You don't have to be warm and fuzzy and go out of your way. It's honestly, as someone that's done this quite a bit at family events, it is really easy to avoid people in a room full of family. Really easy.
Father Knows Something
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No, like I was at multiple different holiday events with someone and didn't talk to them for years. So it's possible. It's possible. Very easy.
Father Knows Something
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Well, let us, please write it and tell us how you did handle it.
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Okay, so trigger warning on this next one. Our writer does mention that it includes talks of essay, suicide, and cheating. So if you feel that you can't handle that today, this is where we leave you. We love you. Thank you for joining us on another episode. Hey everyone, I've been a listener of both podcasts since the beginning and love all of your advice and takes.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
My issue is with my family relationships. My 24 female issue started summer of 2022. At the time, I was six months pregnant, married to my husband, 28 male, and living in the same town as my family. One night, I randomly got a message on Snapchat from an unknown account. The message went something like, Hey, my name.
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I was just reaching out because I wanted to let you know that I look at your Finsta all the time and I touch myself to pictures of you. I just want you to know that there is someone out there thinking of you always.
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When I saw the message, I immediately went and showed my husband, just saying, quote, ew, why are people so gross? After a short conversation, we realized that this must be someone in our close circle, as I only have a few people on that account that I really trust. we decided that we were just going to write a message back and try to figure out who it was.
Father Knows Something
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Thus starting a three-month journey of trying to figure it out. Throughout these months, we wrote the messages together and my husband saw everything that was sent to me. Just to give you a small idea of what all I was sent, this account sent me dick pics, videos of them making themselves climaxed,
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voice recordings with the voice altered of them saying my name while climaxing, talking about how they saw me in person and just wanted to make out with me and much, so much more.
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Every time I would get a violating message, I would show my husband, and we decided together that we wanted to know who this was so we could cut them out of our lives. Well, it was my brother-in-law, 26 male, who is married to my older sister, 27 female. Now, we have a long history with my brother-in-law. Namely, he was roommates slash childhood best friends with my ex-boyfriend.
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She was so close to leaving this shitty man and now he is stringing her along yet again. I'm finally at my breaking point. So I called her and told her I cannot come over anymore when he is home. I get too anxious and I can no longer put myself in that environment. She understood. A week later, she came over and asked me what he has done to make me not want to come over.
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This ex-boyfriend assaulted me multiple times throughout our relationship, and brother-in-law, who wasn't with my sister at the time, would find me after the assaults and help me. About two months after I broke it off with my ex, brother-in-law started dating my sister. I was very vocal with my sister about not wanting her to date him as it was triggering for me.
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She did anyway, and now they are married. Well, when I found out that it was my brother-in-law that was messaging me, my husband and I both lost it. We were wildly uncomfortable and I was extremely triggered. After processing for a few weeks, at this point I was three weeks from my due date, I told my older sister what had happened. She didn't want to see the messages. I offered to show her.
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All she knew was that brother-in-law had sent me sexually violating messages and nudes. She stayed with him and asked not to talk about it again. Fast forward to December of 2023. My sister and brother-in-law are divorced. Got divorced in October. My sister says that she is totally over what happened and doesn't want me to talk about it ever again.
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Per my sister, they got divorced for other reasons. Too much to get into. However, she recently told me that they are hanging out again. And brother-in-law asked about coming to my daughter's birthday. I said, Of course, my husband and I said absolutely not. Because of them hanging out, I've been extremely triggered, and I am now worried about the holidays.
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I decided to tell my younger sister, 22 female, what had happened, and she was extremely supportive and thankful that I told her. However, the rest of my family—mom, dad, and younger brother— all have no idea. So do I tell them? Is it wrong for me to want the rest of my family to support me?
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How do I move on from this when my brother-in-law is still in my sister's life and I am supporting her through the divorce? Ideal outcome. I want to be able to heal from this and move on. I just want to feel validated that this was a violation and I'm not overreacting, which it feels like I am because of my sister not prioritizing me.
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If my husband did this to my younger sister, the world would burn.
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I got a question. This is a sexual predator.
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I think you could technically press charges for this. I'm not a lawyer, but this feels like very much sexual harassment. I don't think you can continuously send people content like this.
Father Knows Something
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Let me finish my thought. My thought is your family has a right to know. Point blank. This guy is creepy all the way around. And he's guilty of it. You're holding the evidence. And all you have to do is say, guys, if you don't believe me, here is the evidence. It's right here. This is real. And I don't want this guy around me, my kid, nobody, my little sister. Who knows where this guy is?
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And if Stacey or whatever her name is wants to hang out, you know, So be it, but I don't want him around me at all.
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I definitely would let her know. Would I tell the sister that this is coming out?
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I gave her a list of reasons and she didn't really say much. She says, hopefully with therapy, maybe you'll feel better about him. I don't want a relationship with him. He has proven to me that he is not a kind human being and no amount of therapy can change that. So how should I move forward with this?
Father Knows Something
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Yeah, I think it needs to happen regardless.
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Okay. I think that everyone has a right to know what went on with what she... She's the one that received it. Yeah. She has the right to disclose whatever she wants to whomever she wants with this because it's real and it's right there. It's in her hands.
Father Knows Something
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I do like the idea, though, of going to the sister and just being like, hey... Because it's like they're divorced. They're divorcing. I have a timeline I'm a little confused on. But I'm supporting you. And now you're talking to him again. Are you bringing him? I'm nervous. I think having that conversation. Yeah. But don't use it as like, okay, well, if that's your plan, then here's my plan.
Father Knows Something
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Don't use it as leverage. Because that feels a little manipulative. And your family... does, as you said, everyone deserves to know.
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Then I would say I plan to, I'm just letting you know, I am sharing this with the family, period.
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I wouldn't, I, I'm going to give you a five minute head up, but it's going to, it's going to be shared with mom and dad and the sister and whatever. We are going to know what really happened. This came, this is on my phone. He put it on my phone.
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I hope you saved everything. I know it's Snapchat. So like screen recording, I don't know if that was a time when you started getting these, but like, I would honestly press charges. I would press charges. This is unacceptable.
Father Knows Something
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She's completely disrespected you in so many times. And like you said, if your husband did that to your younger sister, the world would burn. Yeah, and she doesn't care. She doesn't care. And there's something else in the additional info I want to read. My family is all extremely close and we see each other weekly. My two younger siblings are in college at least three hours away.
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During this year, my husband did confront brother-in-law as I didn't feel comfortable and set strict boundaries after we caught brother-in-law watching me breastfeed our daughter and other creepy things. He's a creepo.
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There's ick everywhere around this thing that's ick.
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This is not okay. And I think your sister has made it very clear. I'm over it. I don't want to talk about it. It's like, well, do you understand what I went through? There's so many layers to this onion where it's like our writer was in an abusive relationship, would get assaulted, and then this guy would help her in the most vulnerable... probably worst moments.
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And it's like to, to then start sending me this shit after you saw me in this vulnerable state. What the fuck, dude? It's just, it's terrible. So I, yeah. Tell your family you have no reason to feel guilty. This is absolutely atrocious behavior. Um, And obviously on his part, but also your sister and your family deserves to know.
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I absolutely love my mother-in-law, but it is so hard to have a relationship with her when she is with Steve. I feel like he is just stringing her along and reeling her back in. Like you say, Morgan, I can't burn myself just to keep someone else warm.
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And this is not anything, not your fault, not anything to do with you. This dude is fucked.
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Anything further, please save. Please start documenting everything and seriously consider getting charges pressed, sexual harassment. I'm blown away. Yeah.
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I would certainly give the police and file a report because we don't know who else he's done this to.
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See, they'll know quickly if anyone else has complained of such.
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So that's it, everyone. We'll see you. We have Patreon coming up.
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We have lots of Patreon coming up for December.
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So much. So come visit us. We'll see you in the backyard. On that note, good night for now, and we'll see you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Father Knows Something
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My feeling is immediately is just tell her exactly where you're at far as you have no interest in having a relationship with him. And you would love to have an open door for her to come over and visit with you anytime you wish. And let's try that because I know that if you come here, it's safe. It's a safe place. And if we go over there, it's not a safe space.
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And our theme this tonight is Miss Morgan.
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And who wants to put themselves in harm's way?
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Yeah, I mean, this is a really tough situation. There is a little bit more info, ideal outcome to continue my relationship with my mother-in-law, which I think is very attainable here. And additional info, there is a nine-year-old child involved. Mother-in-law does not have a job as Steve told her she doesn't need to work and can just stay home. He has her totally trapped.
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In-laws. In-laws. In-laws. We have a couple like in-laws and holidays. We are still taking some holiday submissions. So be sure to write those in if you have any of those. But I think we're going to break holidays into two parts this year. Pre-holiday dilemmas and dilemmas that come from the holidays.
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I have told my mother-in-law that our relationship with him moving forward cannot be the same because of the things she has told us. And she says she doesn't expect it to be. Husband is totally okay with my decision and supports me not going over when Steve is there.
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And let's go back to number one. This is the issue of her relationship and her husband's relationship with his mom. That's really it. It has nothing to do with, they have no control on their mom's relationship with Steve.
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That's not their issue. Unless she invites him to say, guys, can you help me or this or that, you know, with, you know, the fact of some of the stuff and I want to make a move.
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then it's something a little different where they can say, here's how we can participate, but they can't go to her really and say, we're not going to, you know, have a relationship with you as long as you're married to Steve. And, you know, why are you doing this? And, you know, you got to dump this guy.
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And, you know, this is, you can certainly say, look, we support whatever you do and, you know, that's all your decision. But as far as us, we'd love for you to come visit us here and our relationship with you will be in this safe space.
Father Knows Something
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Oh, I sound like a ghost. And Steve is obviously like the issue here and she's just not ready to leave yet. I'm like, I'm not sure how much I've shared in the past, but like this was like my life. This has been kind of something I've dealt with where, you know, my mom had a very not healthy relationship. It was terrible at some points and,
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And my little brother and everyone witnessed a very, very traumatic event. And, you know, she didn't even have a kid involved, but she was never ready to leave ever. And he ended up getting very sick, passed away. And that's what finally ended that relationship. She was never ready to go. And he did stop drinking. He did stop using drugs.
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So he did get better as a person, but people still held on to their experience and what they had witnessed him do. And that's kind of where you're at, our writer. Like, We all had a hard time because we didn't want to be around him after what had happened. And when someone is still with them and they love them and they're trying to make it work, they're like, well, why can't you just get past it?
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149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
Why can't you just get over it? I have. And it's hard to be put in that situation because it's like, yes, I do love you. I love you so much. But I also can't subject myself to this abuse, this toxicity, this unease, this anxiety that I love you. I'm here for you no matter what you need, but I can't be around him. I respect you and your decision, but I'm drawing that boundary for myself.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
And it's hard because depending on the person you're talking to, they might get it. Sounds like your mother-in-law does a little more or they might not. And you just have to stand strong, stick to your guns, no matter the tears or whatever else, because... It is a really hard situation to be in. And at the end of the day, you have to also look out for yourself.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
They can be as well. So keep writing in, you know, even if it's a little after holidays.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
And I think you're... And that's all you can control. Yeah. And I think you're on absolutely the right track.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
Number two. I desperately need advice. My soon-to-be mother-in-law and I had a massive blowout, and I have no idea how to proceed. A little bit of backstory. My fiancé and I moved into his mom's house in August to allow us to save for a house. It was not ideal, especially because his mom and I never meshed well, even from the start, over a four-year span. She's a very tough person to like.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
She's hypocritical, stubborn, makes strong opinions quickly with little perspective, feels entitled to her children's belongings, and manipulates the people around her to get them to do things that please her. Additionally, she has said many things to hurt my feelings.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
This can include making insensitive anti-vaccination comments, even though my mom passed away due to COVID, making comments on my diet, how I eat, even shit-talking my family to my face. Although she has irritated me from the start, I've bit my tongue for four years and I've really tried to build a good relationship with her.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
This has included inviting her to run errands with me, helping her set up her classroom, decorating and baking for her birthday, and even giving her a cat that she absolutely adores after her other one passed away. Well, the day after Thanksgiving, everything blew up. She had been in a bad mood for the past few days and was taking it out on everyone, including my fiance.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
Yeah. So if you have any- All those holidays have issues, man.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
She was trying to take something sentimental from him because she felt entitled to it. His Texas A&M ring dunk pitcher, even though she is far from it. I finally had enough and said that it was his. This was my first time talking back to her. This made her mad and she told me to butt out before she continued to harp on my fiance.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
Mother-in-law tried to argue that he isn't using it, which is where I followed up with comparing it to how she had left her vinyl cutter unopened for a year, but was upset with my fiancé for opening it. This caused her to blow up and kick us out. It has been a downward spiral from there.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
You know, pre-stuff, what you're going to do about family, New Year's.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
She's been saying so many out-of-pocket things to my fiance and trying to convince his whole family to turn against me because I'm disrespectful. I could even give more specifics, but this write-in would go on forever. I'm very hurt by all of it, and so is my fiancé. He's genuinely so upset by the situation, I don't know how to proceed anymore.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
I don't want her in my life or my future children's lives, but I know he's in a harder position, and I still want to support his decisions. He has made it beyond clear that I am his number one, but it is such a hard situation to navigate. How do I support him through this? How do we set boundaries? How can we balance a life where he still has a relationship with her and I don't?
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
Hanukkah's running on the same day as Christmas.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
Or if he decided to cut off his mom, will he grow to resent me? How can I prevent that? I just need any advice on how to move forward and gain some sort of normalcy again. Ideal outcome, I just want to start a happy marriage and firm boundaries with my mother-in-law.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
That could cause some conflict in some- In some families. In some families, for sure.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
This, she really did you a favor. She absolutely broke the tie where you need to live with them. So it was actually a good thing that you guys are moving out. You did save some money. Yes, you will have to pay rent for right now. And it's going to put a change in things, but you don't belong in that house with her. It's a toxic environment.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
And you guys have to make your own nest and that's just the way it's going to be.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
And that is going to change a lot of dynamic because she'll understand that she can't control you. This is all about control. And when you take the reins for yourselves as a couple and your own little nucleus going forward, that is where you're going to draw that line where she's going to understand that this is your home that you're going to. She will not have a key.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
I don't have a key to your home. You guys are able, I come in, I ring the doorbell, I knock on the door or I call and I'll say I'm coming over. I mean, that's the way it works. And that's what this is really about. It's about drawing that line and saying, I'm going to go to their home. And then there's rules. There's decorum.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
And she can't come into the house and start taking things to go do whatever the hell she wants. So I think that's... That's the positive thing, and I think that's the first step in healing whatever this relationship will be going forward. This is a great way to put up a parameter or a constraint for another sense of the words.
Father Knows Something
149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
Let's go. How do I wait for the music? Number one. Who's reading? Pick a number between one and ten. Eleven. And we're going to pick a number between one and ten.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Yeah. And it worked. Well, as far as the concerns of his family, like you said, you know, them not being excited and that kind of thing. I think if they love and support him, you know, life happens. They will be excited.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
So it's another big wedding they get to go to, you know, and any more grandkids, I don't think they're going to be upset, you know, for, for at least me in my life and my experience. I don't live in a world where, Oh, the firstborn, it's the firstborn child. And then all the rest are just like, yeah, whatever. It's every child is special and every child has their place.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
And it, you know, yeah, of course there's things about being the youngest or the oldest or the middle child. And, how you grow up in that, but not in terms of anyone being more loved or any of that. But I'm curious what you think about dealing with the ex-wife, because our ideal outcome is for everyone to be happy, including boyfriend's ex-wife, and to keep dating this wonderful man.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Well, and don't let anything she does change your dynamic with anything. Him. Him or his son. Because if he's happy with you and you're fitting right into their new picture, like a puzzle piece, then, I mean, she's not irrelevant, but her being upset... Is a little bit irrelevant because he's moving on to a happy new life and kids coming right along with him.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Hello, everyone. Hello. My 25 female husband, 25 male, frequently forgets things I tell him or doesn't remember having entire conversations. Most recently, I baked a cake from scratch and made Christmas themed cake pops. I worked on these for several hours and made enough to take to work and have enough left for a few family members.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
So if you're there for the kid and you and him have a happy, healthy relationship, then any concern of hers doesn't need to affect you.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Yeah. When you know things are going to be messy for a bit. So just ride the wave. If this guy is worth it, ride the wave. And you know, over time, everything settles down.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
You sure? Yeah, it's number three. Okay. How do I tell my long-term boyfriend I don't want his late grandmother's engagement ring? Hi, Dad, Morgan, and Justin. I've been listening to THT pretty much since the start and joined FKS a little late, but also been here for a while. I love both of these podcasts. This will be long, as I know Dad needs backstory.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Sorry in advance for Justin or Morgan reading this. Let's get into it. I am 23, about to be 24 female, have been dating my boyfriend, 24 male, for almost eight years. We have had many discussions over the years about marriage, but ultimately, we were never in a place to get married. We began dating in high school, but when I went to college, we did long distance for four years.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
After college, I'd moved back to our hometown as he was still doing school and finding a good job. In the last year, I was able to get my dream job, and he got a very good job making double the amount he was making at his old job. Prior to going to family holidays, I asked again what we were waiting on. I have felt ready for a while, but he had personal issues he wanted to fix.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
To give you context, I was raised in a not-so-good household growing up and moved away from them, leaving me with trauma. I have mostly worked through it. He was raised in a not-so-good household as well that gave him trauma too. I won't go into specifics as we have friends and family who listen to the podcast.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
He stated that before getting married, he wanted to work through more of his trauma as he feels like he wants to be strong for not only me, but our future kids as well. I understand completely, though I love him unconditionally as he does me. Okay, on to the main portion.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
I wrapped them in clear treat bags and left one in a plain Ziploc bag for my husband to have. That night, I told him who I was giving them to and that I left him one in a Ziploc bag. I explained that I had exactly enough and no extras. The next day, he told me he ate one, but I noticed the Ziploc bag was still in the fridge. He wasn't paying attention. I asked if he was joking, but he was not.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
During a conversation shortly after a family Christmas, we had a friend mediate an argument we had about marriage and how I feel it is the next step before anything else large, like buying a house. With our friend's help, both of us stepped back and understood the other's point of view and boyfriend did say he would want to get married soon. Great. We have come to an understanding.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
I am ready for it before anything else and he understands why I need that commitment before larger plans. Now time for more backstory. About one to two years ago, we had the same convo. He wasn't ready. I had just finished college and he had not yet had the stable job. He mentioned he wanted to use his grandmother's ring as I was the only girlfriend that had met her.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Boyfriend is the oldest, and grandma was a large part of his life. I loved his grandma, who sadly passed away several years ago. Since then, he has not been able to find her ring. No family member has it, and it seems to be lost. At this point, I feel like we are waiting for it to appear magically, but I want us to take the next step, and it seems he does too.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
How do I tell my boyfriend I don't want his late grandmother's ring? I am a girl who wants to see and pick out a general idea of what I want on my hand for the rest of my life, and I've not seen or remember what it looks like on top of it being lost for three plus years. I wouldn't mind if he used the ring during the proposal and picked out a new one.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Mind you, I prefer cheaper stones for us to have forever. Now I feel like I want to tell him to just get a ring. We are ready and the other is lost. For the first time, it seems we are together on the marriage idea and the time feels right. We want to start a family and buy a home, but I need his commitment first. I struggle to communicate sometimes and I want to say it nicely. Please help.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Yeah. Jewelry is really tough because even if grandma's ring was right here in his hand, regardless, you don't want to use that ring forever. It's not much different than handing down a wedding dress.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Well, there's a lot of weight put on. Someone has to use that dress. And I know people are doing cool ways now where they're altering the dress and making it more their style. Same thing with a ring. But if they don't want to use it, then they don't want to use it. You don't want to force that on someone.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
You also don't want to, you know, have the boyfriend in this case be like, oh, well, you don't want my grandma's ring. Well, then I'm reevaluating everything. It's not based on the ring. Yes, you want, you know, the person who's wearing it to have what they want. But besides that, it's more what the ring represents. So it's, are we going to get married or are we not? Right?
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
When I pointed out that we had a conversation about which one was his and how I had no extras, he didn't remember having the conversation. Asked who they were for and said sorry. I know this seems like a silly issue over a cake pop, but this happens many other times in different situations. Telling him a shirt can't be dried, that I have an appointment the next morning, etc.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
So let's do it or let's not. Ideal outcome for the ring to magically appear soon. And he uses that to propose, but ultimately I would like a new ring he picks out from my general ideas. Or just getting a new ring as the other is lost.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Yes, but I'm saying I don't think the ring is the main problem. No, go get a ring. The problem is, are we getting married or are we not?
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Are we taking this next step? Additional info, he's wanting to buy a house in the next year. During our last conversation, I said I can't do it without legally being married. So this is also a fast-moving thing. So what we're coming to is... Go get a ring. Ring or not, are we doing this? That's the conversation that needs to happen.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
I know you've had this last big one pretty recently with a friend kind of serving as a mediator. But really it's yes or no.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Because the ring to me feels like another convenient excuse to keep delaying this. Go get a ring. It's tough. We've had a lot of stories about guys dragging their feet and not being able to just finally say yes, do it, move forward, propose.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
And so, I mean, now that you're on this fast moving timeline, if this is really what he wants, it's going to happen one way or the other soon.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Hi all. Hi all. Love both THT and Father Knows. Here's the background. I'm 24 years old. And when I was around 14, I started dating this guy. Let's call him John. Until I was 17. He was like my high school sweetheart. We broke up, but somehow John and I ended up back together when I was 19. It didn't work out and I eventually started dating another guy and having my daughter.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
My relationship with my child's father made me unhappy and I ended it in the beginning of 2023. On to the real issue. John and I somehow always reconnect at least once every one to two years. It's like every time I become single, a bell rings in his mind and he reaches out to me, telling me that I'm the girl who got away, that he wishes we could be together, etc.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Sometimes when these things happen, he will eventually say he remembers the conversation, but just forgot in the moment or that it was an accident. When this happens, it makes me feel that he listens just to respond instead of listening to understand or remember. During these conversations, he will be responding and asking questions.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
I've never stopped thinking about him, and he has never stopped thinking about me. It feels like the universe always conspires to bring us together. That universe. I feel like he's had me wrapped around his finger. Like when he's around, I can't function correctly. When he randomly pops back into my life, it's like my life stops and he becomes the center of my universe.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
And some people I've shared this with have said, maybe you're in love. but my gut tells me this isn't love. There are many deal breakers for me in him that I would absolutely never let slide with anyone else, like the fact he has five kids. I don't mind children, I have one, but five is a lot for me when we're only 24 and 26.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
The fact he's pretty much tied down to the city we live in until his kids grow up, and I have no intentions of living in our city in the next five years. His communication skills are pretty mid and having good communication skills means a lot to me in a relationship. So many red flags, but my mind doesn't seem to get over him and I deep down want to. I don't want to keep circling back to John.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
But no matter how many times I block him for even years at a time, I circle back to him in my mind and I want to open myself up to something new. I feel like I don't really know what I like because I've never really dated. It has always been me and John or me and my daughter's dad. What are your thoughts on this? Is this what being in love like everyone else keeps telling me feels like?
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Is this my mind wrapping around what's familiar out of fear? How do I get over someone when it seems like time hasn't healed anything?
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
I think, honestly, I feel like you can fresh start at any time. Yeah. You really can. I know it gets harder as you get older, but. Look, I just did a fresh start. I'm 67 fresh start.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Yeah. I don't know. I've never been stuck like this on someone. I have been. I know someone that has, and they... And it's a person we've worked with a lot and they would come into the studio and just break down all the time for, I mean, this was over the course of years and we wrote many songs about it, but it just never seemed to progress.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
I've talked to him about this on multiple occasions, but he says I want him to be 100% perfect. It happens so often that it can be multiple times a day, and I feel unseen and unheard. Ideal outcome, to get advice on how to resolve this or to know if I'm just being difficult and emotional about this.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
It always felt like they were stuck and they'd get a little bit better and then fall back into it and then be brokenhearted and I know over the course of the last maybe six months, they've seemed to really come back. And I think it's because they've met new people and they finally started to be able to distance themselves and get through that. So maybe physically moving is one of the best options.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Yeah. And bingo, that worked. And that goes right along with the ideal outcome. I would like to move on, push this chapter of my life behind me, open myself up to something new and have new experiences with new people.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Well, it kind of goes along with what she was saying, that she doesn't want to live in the city in the next, living in our city in the next five years. So I'm curious, are you still there? Have you left yet? Or is that kind of the next best step here if you're already mentioning it in the post? Additional info, I have a history of never really letting myself be single.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
It's like when I am single, very quickly John becomes my go-to, which is why I'm starting to think it's not me being in love. Being single makes me uncomfortable and I know that John will ease my discomfort.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Yeah. And I think maybe that is something to really focus on, whether you're moving away or not, is building a stronger foundation of independence.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Being on your own. Yeah. Spending time on your own. It's hard in the beginning, but, you know, friends, family, your child. And with all that, it's just really working through that. Maybe therapy can play a part in helping you move past Mr. John. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Right. Well, I think having done that, any relationship you find going forward will be that much stronger.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Because you've gotten yourself to be whole again.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
And then two wholes can come together instead of, you know, it getting messy. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
I think we, you know, for the first episode of 2025, I think we need to buckle up.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
All right. Have you heard of OnlyFans? OnlyFans? Yes. OnlyFans is essentially a site where people can upload not always pornographic content, but pictures and other content that people can pay to access. Kind of like a Patreon.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Okay. Hello, this all just came out and I, 28 female, am completely lost. I've been dating this guy for a year and he was, until tonight, someone I planned on marrying. Until tonight? Tonight, I got some screenshots from a close family member showing my little sister accusing him of being creepy and asking for nudes and following her OnlyFans.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
She said that he kept messaging her and was trying to send her stuff. I talked to my boyfriend about it and he said that my sister had randomly sent him a ton of nudes and that he was responding. Then she sent him her OnlyFans link and he followed for a bit but then unsubscribed. He said that after that, my sister's boyfriend messaged him and sent screenshots of those messages.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
And after that, her boyfriend started asking for money, saying he would send the messages to everyone otherwise. My boyfriend said that he blocked them both after that and stopped sending the money. This all apparently happened in the summertime, probably pretty close to after they met, and no one told me anything until literally today.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Ideal outcome, some clarity on which relationship will end up being destroyed, if not both. Additional info, my sister's boyfriend has absolutely shown himself to be untrustworthy. So I could see what my boyfriend is saying being true. I've seen my sister do shady things and cause a lot of drama in other situations. So it just wouldn't totally shock me.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
However, my boyfriend kept this from me for half a year and was not the one who ended up coming clean about it. He got caught. He is saying that if I choose to move forward with that, we will have full access to each other's phones and be fully open. However, I don't know how trust could be rebuilt after all of this.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
We're more open and I'm aware that he follows other OnlyFans accounts and stuff like that. But my sister is an obvious, really big line.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Essentially, I feel like what we are commenting on is the fact that our writer here There's some situation between boyfriend and her little sister. Either he was the one going in and saying, hey, send me nudes, this and that. I'm following your OnlyFans and this and whatever.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
The other side of the coin is all of a sudden the sister is the one who all of a sudden just spammed him with nudes, had him follow the OnlyFans, and then the boyfriend is taking screenshots from all this, the sister's boyfriend.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
I'm just very curious. I wish we could have a conversation such as like in a group tea to ask a writer here. What's your gut feeling? Are you truly on the fence? Do you think your sister's trying to sabotage your relationship?
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
And then the other thing I just, I get confused on the way this is written, but it says my boyfriend said that he blocked them both after that and stopped sending the money. So was he for a time? Sending money. to the little sister and the boyfriend to keep their mouths shut?
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
And I'm wondering if the ideal outcome, some clarity on which relationship will end up being destroyed. Are we talking about little sister and her boyfriend and you and yours? Or... It's a little bit unclear.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
And he didn't come- By not being clear, if he wasn't guilty.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Which makes me feel like my gut feeling with just this little bit info is just that he was the initiator early on. Even though your sister's very untrustworthy and she could be sabotaging things, for him to not come clean right away feels as though, well, it's actually no different either way.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
He either was the one that subscribed and was asking for these things or she sent them and he still didn't say anything. So either way, he was still into it.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
I will say it sounds like, because they say right at the end, we are more open and I'm aware he follows other OnlyFans accounts. The sister is the line we're crossing. And we know there was some interaction there, so we've crossed the line. We're there. Now, how do you respond?
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Very good. All right. Well, that concludes first one for the new year.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
See, but that makes sense because that's like a list, right? Right. When it's multiple items. But on this, do you think you'd really want to have to go through the steps to text him and say, hey, remember the cake pop in the Ziploc bag is yours to eat. Do not touch any others.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Because she knows what she's dealing with. Well, I mean, you've been on the other side of this with certain clothes that can't be dried. You were famous for taking Morgan's stuff out that some of it could not be dried, putting it in the dryer, and then you'd have to deal with that one.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Yeah. So the only thing for me here is I like that we are acting and asking this question over a pattern, not over a one-off. Oh, he dried my clothes. I'm pissed. I'm doubting forever. Eh, right? But, oh, there is a pattern of this happening over and over and I'm sick of it. So I think maybe we need to have
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
one more like you're saying serious conversation i know we've brought it up before i know we talked about it but maybe it's one more just like hey this is really affecting me and it may start to affect us and i don't know if i can do it forever
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Right. Well, it's a lot to put up with. I've had people in my life where you say things and then you almost need to be like, yeah, right. You got it. Just to reaffirm that they're actually got it. And then they still wouldn't have it some of the times. So I know it's a lot to deal with. Additional info. I specifically gave him the cake pop in the Ziploc bag because the coating had cracked.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
It still tasted the same, just not as pretty. He had also had one the night before. He does not seem to forget conversations with other people about work or his own hobbies.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Yeah, I think you need to evaluate, does this happen, you know, because probably the best communication method is just clear, calm, collected. Mm-hmm. if you find that you have to get to the point where you're raising your voice or having to deliver the message in a different way, then that's not right. It isn't. I don't know if it's so much in the delivery for this.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Well, we are going into dating to marry. I love that. So this isn't just a general, hey, my boyfriend did this, and I think maybe I should find new people now. I mean, maybe a little bit of that, but more it's like, how can we work through this? Or should we work through this? Because I'm in the era of dating to marry. I don't want to waste any more time. That is correct. Okay. All right.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Right, and we'll try that after maybe having a conversation about the whole matter. See how that goes and there you go.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Hi guys, I really need some advice and reassurance on an issue that nobody in my life can relate to. I've been dating a guy for a few months and things are going well. He treats me like a princess and accepts every part of who I am. He is a son who is almost two years old. I enjoy spending time with both of them and the kiddo is beyond adorable.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
As much as I enjoy him, I'm having trouble with this new dynamic in my life. I've never dated anyone with a kid before. I don't see it as a bad thing. I just don't know the rules and expectations. I'm far from being his stepmom, but I'm still around a lot. The kid's mom, boyfriend's ex-wife, isn't stoked about having a new woman in her son's life.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
I've met her twice, and both times she was drunk off her ass. I'm not sure she remembers either. She has made it known that she doesn't like that I'm around her son. He has let me know that he's not worried about her and that she has no room to be upset as she is in a relationship and has another baby with her boyfriend.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
Something else I'm battling is that seeing pictures of the kid when he was a little baby makes me sad because I feel like I've missed so much. I'm also worried that if we continue in this relationship, that his side won't be excited for us because I'll be his second wife and our first child won't be his first.
Father Knows Something
152: Father Knows: Dating to Marry..
I don't know how to navigate any of this and I don't have anyone in my family who has been in any kind of similar situation. Any advice is really appreciated.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
a priest or a pastor, whoever is going to marry you, an ordained friend, perhaps maybe they have like the niece and nephew could walk you into the restaurant and throw out flowers or the ring bear could throw out beers. I'm not sure whatever you want to do and whatever your style is, but yeah, I'm just saying they can do whatever they want. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
To me, it was worth it. I enjoyed having that party in front of our friends and family. And I liked that aspect. The average wedding nowadays, I'm sure it's way more, but we were near the $30,000 mark after it was all said and done.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Here's my other advice. I have two things. Do the wedding how you want to do it. And if you're going to buy a ring, buy a lab-grown diamond or a moissanite or even a CZ in that thing. Because when you lose it in the yard, it's a sad day. And you could take that money for your trip that you're going to take. And your house or your kids.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Yeah, I just think your goals need to align. You want to do X, Y, and Z in your career paths. This is what you're going to do. We want to have a family. We don't want to have a family. And with this, I agree. It's going to be... Hurdle is the word for this episode. I think it's going to be another hurdle.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
And if he say you give him a timeline and say, hey, I'm going to give you a week to decide a month to decide. I don't want kids. Are you with me? Are you out? that's going to be a huge decision for him to make. And he might struggle with that. The fact of thinking, oh, I want to be with this person. I want to have kids with this person. And now I'm going to lose that person.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I can't lose that person. And how they choose to hang on to that relationship and hold it, there might be resentment for years down the line on that side of things. So you almost need to... have a really tough conversation and make that choice for him.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Or, you know, five years down the line and there's the secretary that really wants to have kids and you guys got this office thing. And next thing you know, he's cheating on you.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
They've had their moment and look back on the pros, the cons, and move on to the next situation.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
They both would need to choose that we are going to give it X amount of time because we want this to work, but these are our hard lines. And if the hard line for him is, well, I want kids, period, then it doesn't, for me, doesn't seem like it makes a lot of sense. But if he's well, maybe I could go without kids. I just, here's where I'm at today. Well then, okay, explore it.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
With kids, it just seems like it's the next level of commitment and to have any wavering ideas about them doesn't seem like the risk that I would want to take. Rolling on to number, is it four?
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
So. So student association, did they say how old? No. Okay. To me, this sounded like two individuals who are younger, maybe beginning of college, but I just kept bringing it back to high school for me. When you would date somebody in high school and you broke up, you were with that person forever.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
based on the size of your school, we had a class of 100 and I dated a girl in high school prior to Amy. No. And you did, that sucked for a period of time where things weren't over for one of us and that person her was just out and about doing her thing throughout school and you'd have class together. And it was just like, you felt like it was a reflection on you.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
But I think as you get older, you'll recognize that that person in this situation, that spark wasn't there for OP and that spark wasn't there for the boyfriend in this case. And you'll move on. You'll grow. You'll meet new people. And the trifecta wasn't involved here. I kept thinking wrong person, wrong person, but down the line, maybe they become the right person.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
It just, you never know where life is going to bring you.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I think she said in there, her biggest problem was how he went about it, that he didn't give it enough time. But if you agree that it wasn't right, then it doesn't matter. I think you should go and date his best friend. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I would say only date his best friend if you really like his best friend. If you don't really like the guy. Maybe she does. Maybe there's somebody else in the student association that, you know. Maybe. This is not tit for tat, right?
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
He's excited. He's excited that we're here. Oh, my Lord.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Go. You guys ever hear of post-marathon blues? No.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Okay. So a lot of times, or post-run blues, if you are at a race or you have a big goal, and this could be related back to anything, and then you achieve that goal, there's almost this letdown afterwards where it's not living up. You're not chasing towards something. You're not achieving something. You're not... Maybe to me, it sounds like...
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
you're just in that period of a relationship where things aren't maybe as exciting because you've fallen into this, whether it be routine, same old, same old, and... Is that called a rut? A rut. A rut. Could be a rut. Keep going. And...
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I would really be introspective and think about the things that you're missing in this relationship and what has truly changed from now to when you guys sat on that couch and expressed your love for one another. Because maybe it truly is just, I'm not, what is it you're missing? And talk to that person and communicate and be able to say, this is how I'm feeling right now.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I feel like we're in a rut. I feel like we need to talk about this, explore it, figure out what it is, what it isn't. And how do you feel? She came to you and asked how you felt and was able to start that conversation. I think you should be able to do the same with that person. And me and Amy, we've never been in a rut.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I think you know when we're in a rut or when you're with your significant other. You know when you guys aren't at a peak level and you're in the lows, you're in the swell. It's apparent. And I think they're in their 30s. They should, I would believe, know very much what they like and what they don't like and what they want out of life at this point. Or they should be getting to that point.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
And I'll leave it at this note. If you do that introspective thinking... People do grow apart. You can be together and you can separate and grow in different directions. And maybe that's what you're finding out too, is that this really isn't what I want. You've moved down a different path.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
We've danced in our kitchen a few times. To our song. To our song. But yeah, we've never gone back to ballroom dancing.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Yeah, I thought we had a notebook moment there where they're standing in the rain. It was over. You never wrote to me. And Ryan Gosling, it wasn't over then, and it isn't over now. Pow! So what do you recommend for them?
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I would not use those words. I would not present it like that. I would ask, hey, do you feel like things are going as smooth or as exciting as they were? Yeah. Are we connecting? Are we connecting the same way that we used to, do you think? Or what could we do to connect more efficiently?
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Yes. And there is also, last thing, caring for somebody, love, in love. if you're in love with somebody, y'all always have love for you, right? There's just the vocabulary there, I think needs to be very crystal clear in what you're saying, because when you tell somebody, I love you, but I'm just not in love with you anymore, that's kind of a slap in the face.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Yeah. And if you're still listening, be sure to check out Midwest Married. Follow us, YouTube, Instagram. Like and like. Everything. All the pluses. All the good stuff. And Father Knows Something will be on the episode this upcoming week. So check it out.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I just think that if she's questioning it right now and has this question mark in her brain, like, how is this going to work? There's some things that she needs to answer for herself. And they took a break the first time and came back and well, then she knew. So maybe she does need to take a break, but.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
if your heart's calling and you're ready to be involved in that person's life and that child's life, I think you need to make that statement to, to G and then ask G say, if we are going to make this work, I realize you want to make it easier, but let's make it easier together. And we'll figure out a way where we can move into a place or I'll move back and we'll find an apartment near baby mama and
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
It's tough when somebody is going to move back in with an ex, somebody they've been romantically tied to. And I think that there's going to be a lot of excess drama. So unless you are truly prepared to accept everything that goes in with that, then take the time that you need to really find out if you want to inject yourself into that situation.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Yeah, I was just going to say, I just think that specifically if you know that baby mama is intending to get back with baby daddy romantically, that's just another hurdle that you're going to have to jump over and... G should recognize that. And if G really wants it to work, he would find a different situation. And again, right place, right time, right person.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
It's okay that, you know, this maybe wasn't the right time. And sounds like long distance. It can work. But if you're building something serious, maybe it's also the wrong place. So move on. You had that place in your life with that person. Take the good things. Find out what you like. The shitty things that are transpiring now. Move on. Find something better in the next person.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Well, weddings are expensive. Let me tell you what. We went all out on ours. We had 200 people. That was the max we could have. And we filled that venue. And it was a destination a couple hours north up on Lutzen Mountain. And it's expensive. And I can understand if you have the ability to... change the destination and save money, by all means, it's your wedding and it's your day.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
You can do whatever you want. And I think you should. I think that if you have already sent out formal invites, then that gets a little tricky. But if it's just been off the cuff conversation, this is what we're doing. This is what we want to do. These are the people we're going to have in the wedding. You're okay to change your mind still.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
And you just bring it to those people and say, Hey, here's what we're going to do. We're going to do a courthouse wedding. And then we want to have an intimate dinner with the 30 of you at a restaurant, you know, or event center, whatever that looks like. Right. And I think that from what it sounded like, the biggest hurdle here was the niece and the nephews have, I don't know if there's a,
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Hi, everybody, and welcome to this week's episode of Father Knows Something. And we have, not only do we have Morgan and Justin, but we got a present while we were gone. So Audrey, we want to reach out to you and thank you for the wonderful caricatures that you did.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Absolutely. It's a bonus. But the bottom line is they got to witness you with your person saying, I do. And I promise this is my person I'm walking. I'm holding that again, back to holding the hand, walking through life with.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I know if I were to get married tomorrow, I know it would be very, very intimate.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Well, I don't think I would just call you and say I got married today. I would definitely probably say that there would be a very small package of people. And obviously I would have my kids with me and it would be very intimate.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
But it's not going to be a circus. I can tell you that right now.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Okay, but you know something? I would probably take a different tact than you're taking.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
My tact is, I'm glad we all have our tacks.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
As a sailor, I would take this tact. Not really react. I would just right now accept whatever her behavior is and just not let it bother you. Just consider the source. Look, obviously she's got some pain on something that has caused this behavior. People that don't have pain don't do this behavior. She's pissed about something. I don't know what it is.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
She is being passive aggressive because whatever it is that's stored in her, she's not letting it out. You're not discussing it. And you may have even gone to her and said, you know, is there something I have done? Do we need to have a conversation? I mean, there's something that's almost like it's a deep infected sliver within you. And if I could do anything to help remove it, I'd love to do it.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
But less than that, don't do anything. Don't react. Don't try to separate yourself from your family. Just accept that she's got her mishigas, as we use in Yiddish, and ignore it. And don't let it affect you one way or the other. She's got her relationship with everybody else. She's pissed about something.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
She'll either come to terms with it, but if she doesn't come out with it, don't keep buying into the pain.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I just think it's I think the play here is for you to do exactly. I would not buy into the drama. I would just treat it like it's unaffected. Do not let her succeed in whatever she's trying to do. And the only way you can do that is honestly just let it go and move on. Don't be angry. Just be really a more mature individual.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
When Tangled in Battle of Wits with a Fool and won that battle, you won a battle with a fool. Don't engage. Stay away from it. But that doesn't mean you can't be nice. It doesn't mean just don't let it affect you. The more that you pretend it doesn't affect you, the crazier it will actually make her. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
It is a game. This is a game of wits. And the only way that you can really... Is do not get in the game. Yeah. And the only way that you stay out of the game is don't play the game. Just be you. Be the best of you.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And don't have your relationship with your family. Don't make them pick sides. Don't complain to them. Don't do any of the above.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
The guy that you're with is the only guy that matters. And he obviously knows what you look like and what you feel like. And it doesn't make an effect on him at all. And if you feel that there's things that you wanna do for yourself, then you do it. But if you're worried about And I understand about the pictures and all that stuff, back to the circus.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
But the most important thing is really just being with the person that you love and you're walking down hand in hand. And it's really what's important to the two of you as a unit. If there's things that you feel that you wanna work out,
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
You'll have to go either come to terms with it, of what you are, and that nobody's going to be judgmental, except that if you're judgmental, then you'll have to go see what you can do about it with going to different treatments, if that's what's important to you.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And I have to tell you guys, the note that she wrote me was very touching. I was very excited about it. Audrey is actually a caricaturist.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
None of us like the way we look. I got to tell you.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I don't know, but it's really funny that, you know, I'd see pictures of myself and I go, God, I go, who wants to look at that?
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I don't know. And then also, this is really interesting. And by the way, this is where I'm going to go with this. I don't like the way I sound. I hear myself.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
It's the bones. What's really interesting is that people say, we love your voice. And I hear it and go... I feel the same way.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
The best thing is, is that we are our worst critics. people out there who love us, who are going to be at our wedding, who are going to be in our lives. They love us the way we are. We don't have to worry about it. So get your confidence of just being, this is who I am and that's it. And I'm okay with who I am because look who you are. You found a person that loves you.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
You're giving love back to people. You're sharing, you're doing all the wonderful things that make us a good person. And what we look like, that's just nothing but skin and bones. It's a shell. It's not really who we are in our essence. And that goes to shine because anybody that I've known in my life, and when I find their essence, we lose what they look like.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
We don't even pay attention to what they look like. We're never judgmental on that. We just look at them and say, God, they're a great person.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
You know, I said I can make you disappear. Look what I did.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
The easy answer is your wedding. It's your party.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
At that point, they can certainly decide if it's important for them to come without them. I mean, obviously you made it really clear. I don't want you to come with them. But then you have to live with the idea that if they decide not to come without them, that you're okay with that.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I mean, I like your idea. You know, let people come if they misbehave. They're going to be asked to leave or escorted out. Bye. End of story.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
You know, as a team, you guys have set a priority. And, you know, that priority takes discipline. So do I believe that it would be wonderful that you guys can take more time off and do these things? Well, apparently that's getting against the priority. So what is your priority? Maybe you need to change the priority.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Maybe the size of this wedding is overwhelming, that it's destroying you rather than helping you. So you guys got to make that decision together. What is the important thing here? Because you may have a great wedding, but neither one of you are going to show up because of the stress that it caused to get there. You know, obviously relationships need to be nurtured.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And, you know, sometimes it's good enough that we can have our crazy work schedule because sometimes life, in order to live and survive, you have to, you know, make sure you provide for it. He used the word, I need to be liquid. I don't know if that's financial he's saying or he needs to be fluid that you guys can adapt.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I think he's trying to be fluid. He's trying to flow to fill where you guys can find time for one another and sneak it in. It's wonderful that you guys can hopefully meet up in your nest at 10 o'clock at night and wake up in the morning and have 15, 20 seconds that you can be together and at least hug each other and kiss each other and say – God, we're got to go do it again.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And I love you, but we got to, we got to get up and go. Yeah. And it sucks. I get it. But if this is a goal that you guys are working towards together to have this wedding and that's what you want and that's your priority, then you got to do it as a partnership.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And by the way, life is going to give you these curveballs consistently where we are going to... I mean, we haven't even talked about kids yet. We're just talking about the wedding. Let me explain to you what happens when you start having a life and if children should come into your life. All of a sudden, you function as one, as that pair. But the focus is really about making sure that...
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Morgan, Taylor, Matthew, everyone gets to where they have to be. And you are going like this, let alone worrying about each other because each other, we are exhausted by the end of the day.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
You guys have to figure out how to manage these moments.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
That's important. That's the conversation. And let's set our priority. Is it us? Where is our priority? Is it us? Is it a wedding? Is it a thing? And that's what you guys got to do.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Let's go do it. We'll see you at the other side. Join us if you haven't joined Patreon. Come check us out.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Why do people come to this show? What is our theme? Why you come talk to me? This is a safe place. You are allowed to come here and we are going to hear you out. We're going to listen and it's a safe place. I'm not going to judge you. Would you say that is a correct thing? Do we judge our people?
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Of course not. And she's coming to you and it's getting exhausting because you have an emotional, you know, stake in the game. You've got skin in the game. You have your love, a friendship. She's your sister. You're frustrated. She's making this mistake consistently. And you're not being non-judgmental.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
You're simply not only taking it, but you're giving her your real thoughts because you are passionately involved that you love her. That's the bottom line. I only wish that you could be a little more non-judgmental with her, that you can just accept her for whatever her mistakes are and let her do her thing. But You can't. It's too hard for you.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I think you should tell her to be a write-in for the show. Honestly?
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And I will certainly have... I mean, that was my first thing, is that get her to write into the show. And when she comes to you and say, you know something... You know, evidently you don't like my thought, but here's a place where you can go get some other impact and see what happens.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
But that aside, you'll love her and you're going to have to be able to be a friend of hers and just not be judgmental.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
So I actually wrote her back or talked to her. Did you? I did. I was so thankful that I said that. When I come back to Alexandra... Alexandria, Virginia, which I go about once or twice a year, that I would love for her to come down and I'd like to buy her lunch and meet me.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And I think that's the right approach. You just basically say, whatever you do with Sam is your business. I just can't be a part of it.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
We all learn when you hold them and when you fold them.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
You know, when I think of marriage and the excitement of getting married and you guys have your own experience and I look at my experiences, I am so excited about even thinking about that process, that being with that person and us being able to continue our life, but walking down life hand in hand, knowing that everybody else is a sideshow to the whole thing.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I'm more focused on the fact I've actually found the person that I want to go take that step with. I'm more excited, would be more excited about buying the ring. And I know that you were excited about that. You know, the wedding to me, and I'm not saying they're not important, but I think we get lost in them.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I think it's more important to just the fact of just the immediate unit of having that person's hand in my hand.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I just see them as two separate things. I really do. I mean, you have an issue going on with your cousin. You got to work out whatever that relation, because you want her in your life.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Grandparents, parents, what we really care about is that the children that we have find love and we get to witness them saying their vows to one another and promise each other to one another. That's it. Do we care about all the fanfare? This guy does not. And I can't imagine I'm any different than any other grandparent.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I knew my grandmother said, I don't care who, what, anything about who you marry as long as you have a meeting of the mind. And I am sorry that my grandmother was not physically alive to watch me get married. I am happy that when I get the thought that I want to marry somebody, that I know that they will be a part of that energy at that point in time.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
The simple answer is, it is as simple as getting a justice of the peace. It is simple as having them sit right beside you or next to you, and you take your vows with the person you love, and they watch you take those vows. You want to have a second wedding and go have the fanfare? Go knock yourself out. My answer is, Do it now. Do it simple. Do it basic.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And they will be more impressed with the fact that they got to be a part of this intimate wedding without the circus, that they were there with you, standing by you and standing with you at that moment.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
And what do you do if she doesn't change?
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
College is tough with the roommates. It is as close as friends as they are. That almost makes it harder. I dealt with just some very incompetent people who were terribly messy. And just like nothing worked. And so I got to the point where I just picked up one day and left because I'm the only one doing a goddamn thing.
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170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
He, on the other hand, has always had his own room and then lived alone. I know it'll be an adjustment, but I feel it'll be more for him than for me. Aside from the fact I've never lived with a boy before, haha. So, do you have any advice for us? Ideal outcome? Moving in goes smoothly and we figure out our vibes together smoothly.
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Do you think she could be going through some sort of depression or something? Because why the sudden change? Over the last few months, my one roommate has completely stopped picking up after herself.
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I understand, but I'm just trying to have some sympathy and how you can start to help this from the outside. Maybe there isn't.
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I think that is more the norm in college than not. Well, I think it's, if you have good roommates in college who are clean and type A, man.
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Don't take them for granted. The last thing here, additional info. We used to be good friends, but I don't talk to her that much anymore because I am just cleaning up after her every day and it's exhausting.
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Well, and you can talk about that too. Like it's starting to affect our friendship. Because that's an element of this too. It's not just losing the roommate. It's affecting this going forward.
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Number four. Let's go. Here we go. Number four. Hello, all. Hello. I'm a longtime listener of Two Hot Takes and a recent listener to Father Knows, and this is my first time writing in. Okay. I, 22 female, am severely stressed about my dad's 71 male financial issues right now.
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He is currently at a temp job and they just told him that the job will end in about three weeks and he has nothing else lined up. A little backstory, my dad used to work for an engineering company for 30 years and was making good money. So good where he could pay for my, my mom's, and his own vehicles. And bought a really nice house on a golf course and everything.
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And even paid for my college classes for the time I was there. However, the company he was at was sold to someone else and my dad was let go in the process. At that point, I'd assumed that he had been probably getting ready to retire anyway. I was very, very wrong. He basically, from my understanding, had no retirement and was already pulling from his social security.
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He ended up going to work two retail jobs just to be able to keep up with the bills while he looked for a more stable income. He eventually found this job that pays decently, but has always been a temporary job. Right before he got this job, me and my boyfriend ended up buying a house together and moving. It's definitely not a big house, but the perfect size for us.
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Now back to my dad, they just told him that his job will end in three weeks. He's already working this job and part-time somewhere on the weekends, so I have no idea what he is going to do after his full-time job is gone. I love my dad so much and he has done so much for me. I have helped where I can with money, but I barely get by as it is.
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I feel like I've said and given as much advice as I can, but I feel so helpless while I watch my dad struggle every day with bills. Any advice or reassurance would mean a lot. Ideal outcome would be for my dad to eventually retire or even find a comfortable job that pays better, or for me to stop stressing about it so much and worrying about him every day.
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Yeah, because you just, you know, you hope that he gets done with this gig, finds the next gig, and keeps on keeping on.
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Yeah, but it's hard. It's hard from the kid's perspective. I get it. Because, you know, you do feel indebted to your parents because as you get older, you realize what it takes to raise a kid. And it's not easy. It's a huge pain, but it's also like the most beautiful thing.
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All right, number five. Hi, FKS fam. About a year and a half ago, I moved to a new country for work and became a first-time manager managing employees. One employee is great, but the other one has extreme performance issues and lacks accountability for their work. It has gotten so bad that HR, my boss, and my boss's boss have gotten involved and they are now on a professional development plan.
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Okay. Diving right in. Okay. Number one. Number one. Hello, FKS crew. Hello. First off, thank you so much for both podcasts and bringing me joy every week. I started listening to both podcasts almost exactly one year ago. May 25, I started on the way to a concert. I binged everything since and tune in every week now.
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They have a very lazy attitude toward any work and will only do the bare minimum that is required. I've been trying to work with them on taking ownership of their projects and being proactive in their work, but today in our weekly catch-up, they said, quote, I don't want to take ownership for projects that aren't mine, and I'll do what you ask me, but don't ask me to be excited about it.
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I've even tried suggesting they be the lead on certain projects so that they can be truly passionate from start to finish, but in this case months go by and they don't do any work on the projects. I told them that I don't enjoy constantly checking in on the progress of these projects just as much as they probably don't like hearing it, but we aren't getting anywhere.
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Termination is a possible outcome of this process, but as a first-time manager, I just don't know if there's anything else that I can do to help. Of course, change needs to come from them, but I'm at a loss for what to do. Ideal outcome, be able to be as supportive as a manager as I can during this process while also still getting results.
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Right. But if we're writing in to ask this, I feel that they're trying to be a good manager who could be dealing with someone that is just not responding to any of the anything.
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But in this case, right, if you have an employee that just really doesn't care, hates the work, just does it to get it done.
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Yeah, because even the best manager in the world who can inspire almost anyone, there's still someone out there they can inspire. Okay. Right? And so we don't know where we're at with this whole situation. We could have a book of context on this.
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But I think that you do the best you can as a manager. You do the best to be essentially a coach and inspire your players. They're called coaching plans. And with that, you have some people that will work well under that system in that community. And you have some that don't work out.
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Number six. Let's see how you handle this one. Okay. Number six. Starts right off, I am in a financially completely different spot than my friends and it's taking a toll on me. I, 25 female, went to an expensive university and graduated about three years ago. I had almost no financial guidance before going into school. My parents aren't the best with money.
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I signed a terrible loan with a private student loan company that charged me an insane amount of interest before I even graduated. I have since refinanced, but the downside is that because of my last loan, my payments are so high, literally a third of my salary. I make the average salary for a 25-year-old. It's just that I can't afford much beyond my student loans with my main job.
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I have a second job that I use for my extra spending money. The issue is all my friends want to do is go to bars or eat out at restaurants around the city. I always tag along and order a side dish or faked drinking with them by getting plain soda water at the bar and passing it off as a vodka soda.
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I feel bad about fake drinking or pretending I'm not hungry, but they will make comments about how I'm being boring or that I need to eat if I skip food entirely. I am really, really embarrassed about my financials and the debt I've put myself into. I haven't told anyone about my student loans. My second job helps me a little bit, but not much.
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I'm embarrassed to tell my friends that I shouldn't even be going out at all. I've been trying to pinch pennies and make it work, but I just can't keep spending $10 to $15 one to two times a week because it is adding up. Not to mention that I view it as a waste of money to be constantly going out to eat and buying drinks when I really need to be focusing on paying off my loans first and foremost.
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My friends will hang out with me maybe once a month if it's not at a bar or restaurant since it is their biggest interest. I feel like my options are either distance myself from my friends or admit that I barely make enough to support myself. I don't want my friends to pity me or feel bad for me. I don't know how I'm going to tell them that I can't spend money on the same stuff as them.
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They either didn't go to college or had their parents pay their tuition, so I feel like they don't fully understand how restrictive student loans are. I don't want it to seem like I understand their full financial situation because I don't, but they made negative comments about mutual friends who work a lot of overtime to pay their loans off. I don't even know where to start with addressing this.
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I feel like I just have different goals. Is it dramatic to find new friends over this? Friends who are more willing to stay in and be frugal? Is it unreasonable for me to tell them I can't hang out with them if it's going to be at a bar or restaurant? Any insight at all would be helpful. Thanks Jerry and team. I look forward to getting your advice.
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Well, I mean, it's not necessarily get them to go away, but more them to just be your friends.
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Yeah, I think it is a great test of the friendship to be fully honest. And a real friend would say, oh, of course, I'd love to come over and hang out at your place. We should go to the park. We should do that. And they'll make an effort to still spend time with you. And meet you where you're comfortable.
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I mean, but hey, if you want to go out, spend money and do that.
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Yeah. I just really hope you're not met with, oh, okay, well, we're going to keep doing our thing and you can go stay at home.
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Yeah. Find someone you can cook at home with and stay in watching your favorite shows. Absolutely. Yeah, I really hope it works out for you. And I hope there's some kind of solution out there that maybe you can find. Honesty.
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Yeah. One, I would just keep your head down and stay in the game because exiting college without much debt and having to be this on top of every dollar you have, it's not fun, but it's also not going to be forever.
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You know, keep, stay motivated, stay on it, get that next level job, then keep climbing, knock out this debt and just get to that point where your friends are all gonna be like, oh, what do we do? We can't go out. And you're gonna be like going to the nicest place on the block. Okay. The tables will turn.
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Grand finale. Number seven. Hello, FKS and THT fam. Thank you for all the time and effort you put into creating and updating these podcasts. Jerry, Morgan, Justin, anyone. What and how is the best way to help find my 66-year-old dad a girlfriend? I don't want to put my dad on Tinder or Bumble.
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I don't want my dad to get scammed by some woman for money or get his hopes up when he meets someone, but it's just sex. From what I see, my dad seems to need a true companion that can also deal with him. Ideal outcome, find reliable dating apps or sites where people are actually looking for a partner and to find someone who will love my dad for who he is.
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Yeah. You just got to be on the same page. I didn't think much about living together before just doing it with Morgan. I mean, it just felt like, you know, we were both in our different places and then all of a sudden we were living together. There wasn't this big ramp up. I mean, yeah, we found our place and then we moved in, but It just felt fun. I don't know.
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So do you feel around your age, the apps and the sites aren't really effective?
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Well, and at least then you know one of your main interests would be aligned. Right. If you like running, go join the local run club. Go run with the run club. You meet a bunch of friends, A, which is never bad. And B, you can meet someone that way. Or apply that to whatever the passion may be.
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but you know, the more we've talked about it over the course of this show, it does really make sense. And a lot of people meet people at work because you spend so much of your time at work, but really it makes more and more sense to just go out and do the things you love to do in a social way. Yeah, you can go run by yourself.
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I don't know why running's in my mind, but you can go run by yourself every day if you want.
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Use it as a metaphor, okay? You can go run by yourself. Yep. Or you can go join a run club and run with a group of people you don't know. What's the worst that can happen? You find out you hate running in groups, fine. choose your next passion and try that one. But doing what you love with other people that are doing what you, what they love, but it's the same thing. Can't hurt.
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It's a great foundation to start from, you know, these apps, it's such a cold, even though I met Morgan on the apps, it's a cold intro. It's not, you're not instantly bonding over a shared experience. You're Talking to someone who could be real, could be fake, you know, who knows how they're portraying themselves.
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It just kind of felt like, wow, we're actually doing this. Now we're living together. And it just has been fun kind of ever since.
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I mean, it's endless, right? It is endless. Yeah. yeah i think you're an expert at it because guys anytime i go anywhere with jerry he meets someone somehow it could be running in to the hardware store for one quick tool and then jerry's got a new friend i mean it's you are so good at it that it makes me want to be better at it and i think it's just a good
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thing for everyone you know good note to end this episode on is whether you're single looking for a partner whether you're just a person looking for friends or you just simply want to interact with people because i think we're so sheltered these days especially post-covid
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It feels so hard, but after watching you do it for so long, just sparking a conversation over the most random thing in the most random place with the most random person, you never know.
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Yeah. I mean, because you're open to interacting with more people and just being – out there more, it increases your chance of finding that someone. If you're looking for that someone, it just, it, there's no downside. None.
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Yeah, I think it's, you know, being on the same page is great. And that will help. Having similar taste also really helps, but I don't think it's necessary. You can compromise. There's a lot of compromise in the same way that you do with roommates. I mean, you are elevated roommates. You still have to abide by those roommate rules.
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guidelines, boundaries, where you're going to have some things you like. He may have some things he likes. It's also important to not just with physical things, but with your own time. It's important to spend your own time. You can live, be physically in the same place, but but you don't always have to be doing the same thing. That's correct. You can be watching a show, he's playing video games.
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You have two separate setups. Or you can be working and he can be also working, but you don't always have to do everything together. So it's a balance. It's all a good balance.
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Yeah. Well, what's that thing we've always said? You need to travel together, decorate together, and then you know you could probably live together. That's right. So it's funny here, our additional info. We have traveled plenty of times. I know it's definitely different than living together, but we have gotten the traveling thing down.
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I don't know if this is necessary, but I have two dogs who will be moving with us, but I will do most of their care. And they say hello. So I guess the dogs listen to us too. Of course. Well, we have doggy stars. That's true. That's true. They're big fans, but it's a good sign you can travel well together. And you'll be fine decorating too. Yeah.
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It's also, a part of it is just not overthinking it. Yes, it's a big deal. But at the same time, it's just fun. Like think about, I always think about like, wow, I just, I still feel like a kid kind of just going through life. And now I'm moving in with someone and there's big giant horses in the back we take care of. And there's projects. I mean, now my weekends, I'm full dad mode.
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I now did my full tool wall. You know, I've definitely entered my dad mode and I'm old and it's great. I don't know. I'm so excited for you because I've just had such a good time doing it. I'm a year, more than a year in now. And it's great. Keep us, keep us surprised.
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You got a number two over there in your pants? No, I don't. You got a number two? No, no, no.
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I was just going to tell. I didn't know if it was coming through the vent or what, but okay. Number two. Jesus. Hi, FKS fam. I love listening to THT and FKS while I work from home every day because it makes me feel less alone. Here's my issue. My female 29, ex-boyfriend, male 33, and I have been broken up for six months, but he still has a lot of stuff at my house.
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While we were together, he stored his furniture in my basement since he didn't need it where he was living. In addition to the furniture, he left a lot of clothes here too. A couple months after our breakup, I asked when he wanted to come get his stuff, but he said he wouldn't because it's too hard emotionally.
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To clarify his emotional state, he had been dealing with substance abuse, which led to our breakup and landed him in rehab this past winter. Now, we haven't talked since he went to rehab, and I don't know how or if I should bring up his stuff being at my house.
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My therapist says it's a good thing that he hasn't reached out to me as it shows he is growing less dependent on my presence, a big issue during and after our relationship. So I don't know if reaching out to him would be emotionally healthy. The stuff is not in my way, but I truly believe physical things hold energy and feel that removing it might bring me more peace in my home.
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Any advice you can provide is much appreciated. Ideal outcome is to have his stuff removed from my house without ruining the progress he has made mentally.
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So my write-in isn't necessarily much of a problem, but more seeking some fatherly advice along with engaged couple advice. That's why we're here. Me, 27 female, and my 30 male boyfriend are moving in together this summer. We're both very excited, but it is both of our first time living with a partner.
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Yeah, it's definitely a tough situation because you do really respect the progress he's made and you don't want to hurt that. But at the same time, that doesn't mean you need to hold onto this stuff forever.
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Yeah, which in my head, I'm going back and forth because naturally you want to be delicate about it, but also maybe being delicate isn't the best. And what you said, being more straightforward and direct about, hey, I mean, it's here until then, and then it's going to be gone. It's gone. That might make sense because... It might need to just be that direct.
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Instead of if you're more delicate and say, hey, just want to remind you your stuff's here, you're probably going to get the same answer.
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Yeah, I agree. I do think physical things can hold that energy, especially in the sense that you know it's there. Yeah, it's not in your way, but anytime you bring something down of your stuff that you need to kind of put away for a little, you're seeing it and then you're reengaging with those memories and everything that's associated with it.
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That might just be nature taking its course.
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All right, number three. Hello, I'm a 21-year-old college student living in an apartment with my three closest friends. Over the last few months, my one roommate has completely stopped picking up after herself. She leaves dirty dishes in the sink, doesn't clean off any surfaces she leaves crumbs on. She is overall a huge mess.
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We have been together since COVID and are finally ready to move onto this next step in the relationship. I was hoping I could get some tips, tricks, wisdom on how to coexist with a partner. I've shared a room my entire childhood and throughout college, so I'd say I'm pretty comfortable with shared space. I have been on my own for about four years in my own place now.
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Myself and my two other roommates have all talked to her about her habit of being dirty, and she hasn't changed at all. Recently, she got a new boyfriend who says that we are the ones who never clean up after ourselves and we are messy, but we think she is just telling him lies because that's what it is. But most recently, she has completely stopped flushing the toilet.
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Pretty much, you can't go into the bathroom after her without the toilet being not flushed. We have all tried to talk to her about it in a nice way without being rude, but it just isn't getting through to her. I don't want to be at war with her because we signed a lease for the next school year already.
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Ideal outcome, I just want to know what else I could do to get her to clean up after herself without taking extreme measures.
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Yeah, well, and I have a little perspective because my music partner, Austin, went through this during COVID. He's just like, I've always wanted to become a pilot and just went to the airport, met the right people, went to a little flight school, but not a university. He just showed up at the airport, started flying with these guys.
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He'd be great to include in this, but from what I can remember, he says the best possible thing. is to get your own little Cessna, just like you did, a little 152, because it's almost like you're parking money just for a little bit. Because- That's it.
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What happens is you buy the plane, you're not then renting all the, I mean, the most money he ever spent on the whole process was actually renting a plane. And- yeah, the fuel and that, but really it was the renting of the plane to just build hours became the most expensive part of it.
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So if, you know, student loans and I think you should allocate a certain amount of money to get a little good condition, little Cessna 152, because the second you build your hours and you you know, have your license, have your, whatever you end up doing. I hope you do instrument because you'll start, you'll find a CFI.
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Then you can work with a double I to get your instrument, but eventually you will grow out of that plane. It's definitely a trainer plane. And as soon as you start wanting to go anywhere else for pleasure, you're going to want something faster, but the plane will sell basically for what you bought it for.
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Ready for it? Did it increase in value?
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You don't know who landed it really hard right before you got in it.
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So what do you got? I wanted to share a comment. I'm sure you've seen it, but on the last video that we just posted, I just thought this was awesome. It goes, oh my God, the earliest I've ever been. I'm laying in the maternity ward after birthing my baby girl at 4.30 this morning. I thought I'd share that with my THT slash FKS fam because I'm pretty sure this is the happiest day of my life.
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Yeah. So that's one of the biggest pieces. And then I think just making a bunch of friends at the airport, because that's how Austin has met really great mechanics. That's how he's met a bunch of friends that he goes flying with and he'll, he'll actually join them for, you know, little cross country training flights or any of that.
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And as much as you can fly, the better, the more you can do it day after day or every other day. the better it'll be.
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Also, with the FAA stuff, With all the stuff that's happened and anything in the news, it's still by far multiples more safe than getting in your car every day.
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You get in your car, I mean, you're way more likely to end up in something in your car than you are in a plane by far.
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Well, and if you're scared about failure, I mean, the only reason you'd fail is if you didn't prepare, you didn't practice enough and you didn't hit your check rides and crush those out. But really- Stay within the constraints of flying, you'll be fine.
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Yeah, and then as far as going from there to airlines... Hours. It's hours, but I don't know how you end up making that connection. I don't know if you apply, but the beauty of it is, is once you get into flying and you're at the airport all the time and you're around these guys... It's all of this information becomes readily available to you.
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Everyone will know what to do in the best process and how to work through it. But I think you should go for it. Austin said it's the best thing he's ever done. He said it's the most freeing. Just if he could choose to do anything at any given moment, it would be to be up flying.
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Number three. Yes, sir. Number three. Number three. Number three. Hey, all. I listen to you all the time and never thought I'd write in, but I'm finding that I might need just a bit of outside perspective on this. So for a bit of context, my husband has an annual trip to see long distance friends each year in October.
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I absolutely never have any issues with this and think it's great he keeps up with these friendships. This year though, I'm currently pregnant with our first child due around May slash June. He is starting to talk about planning for his annual trip in October now and asking me if I'm okay if he still goes.
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Honestly, my initial reaction is disappointment that he wants to go this year when by that point our baby will only be a few months old. I'm struggling with this a bit because I don't want him to hold any resentment if I said I'd rather he not go.
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At the same time, I won't necessarily be dependent on his help as I have lots of family in the area who would be more than happy to come over while he is gone. I should add the trip is usually only a week long. I just want to know if I'm making a bigger deal of this than it is or if it's odd that he still wants to take this trip when our baby will be so little still.
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Ideal outcome, not really, just want some more input into this situation. I've been here.
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And now I get to listen to a FKS episode.
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Yeah, and I think it would be different if it was like, a couple of weeks or if it was really soon after, no, not the trip length, right after, a couple of weeks after the birth. Yeah. That's a little different. A few months, you know, that's a, it's a decent chunk of time.
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Yeah. That's, that's a whole different.
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But I think here, you know, a few months in it's probably time for a little break. And who knows, by then you may wanna take your own little girls weekend, girls trip, take a week. I think it's healthy to be able to have one partner step away, especially because this is such a recurring trip and it's a good way for him to catch up with friends. It might be honestly really good timing for that.
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And then I think it would be great for you to do the same. And I like, like you said, I think family coming in and having a part is, it feels really great for them. And, you know, it's, it is also like you say here, it's a week. Plan with the trip as a go. And then if you need to cancel, you can always cancel, you know, if something comes up.
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So kind of a little early to make a decision on that one, but I think it'll be totally fine.
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What video? The audio, the audio. Like the comment we read, yes.
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Because we had comments about it too? Or people talked to you about it at the show?
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As soon as that song starts to play, I'm good. Isn't that funny? Yeah.
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Let's roll on. On to number four. Four. You sure?
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Hey, FKAS and THT friends. I'm writing in for advice with how to handle my niece and nephew now that I'm dating. I, 24 female, live with my sister, 28 female, and have for the last six years. We got a place together a year after she had her first child, my niece, seven female. She later had my nephew, four male. My sister is a single mom.
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We've built a home for ourselves and her children, which has resulted in me stepping in more of kind of a parent role than an aunt role. This has worked for us, and I've loved every second of being involved in the kids' life. Now to the issue. My niece and I have always had a special bond, doing girly things together, cuddling her to sleep at night, and just being her comfort person.
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I started dating a guy four months ago and can confidently say this is my person. He has not met the kids because I am not ready. so this leaves him not able to come to my house at all. Because of this, I stay over at his place a couple nights a week. This also helps since he lives up the road from my job, and my job's an hour away.
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However, I have noticed my niece's behavior toward me has been angry. She makes comments about me not coming home, and then will start giving me attitude. This makes my aunt heart so sad because I never want her to feel any type of way, but I also want to live my life. I've tried to talk with her and explain that because I'm not home doesn't mean I don't love her.
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I have made sure when I am home, I'm not constantly on my phone and make sure she gets undivided attention. Fortunately, this hasn't affected my nephew nearly as much. How do I make sure she feels loved, but also balance a new relationship and enjoying that? Ideal outcome, just looking for advice on maybe how to explain it to her in a way that's age appropriate.
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Also looking for insight on if there are better ways to handle this. Thanks in advance.
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Well, and hopefully they, you know, ideally they'd specialize in children's psychology because that's really what you're after. It's not... It's not necessarily you, it's more- How that kid's interpreting it. Yes. And because also, like you say in here, you have to live your life. And so I think this is great timing because this has to be established, obviously in the right way.
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But at some point, it's gotta be understood that you aren't the second parent. Mm-hmm.
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Yeah, but it's eventually, and you can be as close as you want, but you are the aunt. And someone may come into your sister's life and start to fulfill that other role. It doesn't take away from your role, but I think we are starting to see the issue as to how these kids, well, just the one child, the niece is reacting to you starting to kind of have that outside life.
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Yeah. But it's tricky too. Cause you know, right now you say this is your person, but you never know where, where life can take you and relationships come and go.
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Four months. That's young. It is. So you just never know. It's a very delicate situation. So I do think you get some professional advice, but I like where your mind is at because it does need to start happening now.
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Okay, number five. Here we go. Yes, sir. Hello, Jerry and friends. Yes. I am friend. You are friend. You're beyond friend. You are, Jerry. I am friend. You are beyond friend. I'm having issues with school and having the motivation to keep going and not just give up. All throughout my childhood, I got straight A's and did great in my classes until high school.
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Once I got to high school, I found myself burnt out and kind of gave up. If I would fail an assignment, it was all or nothing and I just gave up. But now that I'm about to finish my first degree, it matters that I pass a lot more since I'm going to graduate school. So I need to get good grades and finish my classes.
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Right now I'm finding that every time I take a test or exam, I just barely pass, usually around 60%. It's been really hard to not give up. My classes this semester are really intense and I find myself doing homework every single moment that I'm awake. I've never worked this hard for good grades, but I'm still failing. How do I not give up? And how do I stop getting in my head when I take exams?
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I always second guess myself. I know my stuff right up until that exam starts, then it's gone. Thank you for any advice.
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Do you know what a clutch is? I do. Have you ever popped a clutch? I have. I have. Well, that brings us into our theme today of don't pop the clutch. Really? Because nothing good happens when you pop the clutch.
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I would just be curious what you've tried. Study groups, very specialized tutors. Yeah. If I was having this issue, my first gut reaction would be to go to my professor and say, hey, here's the situation, kind of like what you laid out here, and say, have you ever had anyone go through this? What strategies did they use?
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Could I possibly get some practice tests or some old ones that they don't use anymore to say, hey – Could I possibly meet with you outside of class and I can get a test from you, go take it, and then I'll come back and we can go through it together and review it. And I'm just trying to really get better at this. If you show that commitment and that effort to a professor of
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any class, they're going to be like, of course, because what they want to do is see people that are interested in what they're teaching, see people that are interested in learning and getting better. That's the core of the whole of school. That's how I would approach it because I feel like that just connects you so much more to the material and to the person that's giving the test.
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Yeah. I mean, I had a couple classes, a class here and there through college mainly that would really be tricky for me. And I would befriend the professor and meet outside. Sometimes they have certain meeting hours or sometimes we'd meet over lunch. And that ended up really helping me because
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For certain papers and things, I would go in and we would do an extra review, go through my paper and he'd give me really great advice. So that really helps. And then also there is something to the confidence because there are also some classes I had like microeconomics and things like that. I would show up to class. I'd sit and play games on my computer the whole time. I'd sit in the back.
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I'd show up on test day. I'd finish it in 10 minutes, walk out before anyone else, ace it every time. There were just classes where- How did you do that? I don't know. There were just certain classes and- topics and concepts that would just be so second nature to me that I could walk in and just done and I'd perfect score. You're the one- Who knows how much of confidence that was.
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Yeah, but then she finished college in three years.
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Well, but what I'm saying is I've been there. I've definitely walked into a calculus test feeling 100% like, oh, I got this. Just like the microeconomic stuff. And just... I struggled. You struggled the test? Oh yeah, big time.
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But essentially in that comparison, I've had this experience, maybe not as much as you, but I've had that with certain classes. And what I did is I worked with the professor and worked on study habits. I mean, down here, you do say, I listen to Father Knows when I do homework. You're not focusing. Maybe Father Knows is a little distracting to you. I don't know.
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Yeah. But I've been there. That's what I've done. And it's become more like the other classes were for me. So you can get there 100%.
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Yeah, well, I'm reading the additional info. The main class I'm struggling with is chemistry. And as I'm a STEM major, I need to get good grades in my science classes. Chemistry in high school is very, very tough for me. The more that I became obsessed with physics, it naturally started to pull in some chemistry.
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And I found myself, just as a passion, kind of studying this stuff outside of the material of the class. And I did hit a moment where something flipped and it all just made sense and it unlocked.
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Yeah. I mean, you know, it's funny. You know how I say I had such an easy time with economics in college? Yeah, I hate you for that. In high school. Yeah. I couldn't figure it out. I think that might've been the only test that I actually, I think I maybe failed in high school, but in college. So you can get there 100%. I don't know what the trick is. That's what I did.
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And sometimes things just all of a sudden the stars align and it makes sense.
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Hi, all. All. All. I've been watching THT and FKS for a while now and never thought to write in, but here I am.
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I would love some insight from all of you on my problem. So I broke up with my 30 female boyfriend, 33 male of 11 years in August. Okay. I completely blindsided him and I hate to admit it, but I didn't handle it well. I was cold towards him and didn't give him the closure he needed. Backstory, we were together since I was 19 and he was 22.
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live together for about four years and we have a three-year-old golden retriever together who we currently share the last few years of our relationship really went downhill we lost our physical and emotional connection and it felt like we were mostly just roommates we were both dealing with a lot mentally and emotionally between work school and personal lives
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We fell into a place where neither of us were happy physically or mentally and I think that contributed to our downfall. Unfortunately, we seriously lacked communication and didn't talk about our issues so we built up resentment toward each other. We had a dead bedroom and were rarely intimate, not even cuddling.
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I got to a point where I could not imagine living the rest of my life so unhappy in this relationship. One night I decided I was going to leave. So I told him I was done and I left the next morning. He begged for me back, but I didn't entertain it. Fast forward six months and I am deeply regretting my decision to leave him. We've both done some self-healing work and we're both in therapy.
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I can truly say that I see a major difference in both of us. We began talking again in December where we had a few long, deep conversations about what went wrong between us. We laid everything out and were honest to each other about our issues. It was extremely difficult to be so vulnerable and especially to hear how much I hurt him.
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But these conversations were the most meaningful and open conversations we've had together in years. I told him I wanted to get back together, but he is now unsure. He is unsure if he can get past the pain and heartache I caused him and doesn't know if we can rebuild our relationship to a place where we don't hold on to past issues. I guess my question is, how do I accept this reality?
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Yes. Okay. Right into story number. Story number one. Hello, Jerry Morgan and Justin. I love both of your shows. They get me through my long work days. On to the problem I'm having. I, 26 female, found out my boyfriend, 29 male, is going to propose soon. He called my sister, 24 female, when her and I were together and told her to get away from me for a second.
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Do I be patient with him to decide what he wants? How long do I hold on? I can't bear the thought of moving on, but I feel stuck. We've talked about going to couples therapy and said that would be a non-negotiable if we decide to rebuild. My problem is that I feel he has one foot in, one foot out, and it's giving me mixed signals. We spent a lot of time together.
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He joined my family and I for Christmas. We spent New Year's Eve together. I went on a two-week trip in January, and as soon as I got back, he asked me out to dinner. We've gone on several dates since then, but he feels hot and cold. Any insight would be so helpful. Love you guys, and thank you.
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It is. And I think this one... Yeah, you're doing the right thing. It's just, you know, and maybe naturally it will get to a point where you see him come around, for lack of a better term, but to truly be back in that team. They began talking in December, so give or take three-ish months.
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She came back all giggly and excited about something and I just knew he told her he was going to propose. Honestly, he should have not told her in the first place because she has such a big mouth. Still love her though. But I feel like what I did was worse in a way. Fast forward a couple weeks later and a couple drinks later, I told him that I know. I do want to marry him, of course.
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It's getting to a decent amount of time, but there's no real time set on how long it'll take someone to come back from what he's feeling.
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But also you can't hang around forever waiting for him to turn the page. So I think right now you're in a good spot, but I do think you get to six months, you get to nine months. If he's still hot and cold and there's no progress being made, at some point you might have to make a hard decision because you can't wait around for someone forever.
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Because I do hope you get to your ideal outcome. We get back together and rebuild our relationship to a place of love and happiness. But it takes two. So I would very much continue on your path and see what he does.
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He is, but he's hot and cold. So what's the cold look like? Does he shut you out? Does he not talk to you for a couple of days?
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I just wish I didn't know it was going to happen. More importantly, I wish I didn't tell him I knew. I'm sure however he plans to pop the question will be so special. I just feel like I ruined his surprise. And anytime we do anything remotely exciting, it's right in the back of my head. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you guys for everything.
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Well, they'll already know because we're operating, we're recording.
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Yeah, I honestly think it's better when someone knows it's coming. Obviously, have the conversation ahead of time that, hey, what's our future look like? You do that whole thing to make sure we're on the same page as, so when I propose, it's not gonna be out of nowhere and then we've seen those videos of people running away and it's just bad.
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But in this case, I'm sure you guys have talked about it. And honestly, now that you know, You don't know exactly when, but it's nice to be prepared a little bit in the sense that you can kind of think ahead and be like, ooh, I should wear something nice. But also at the same time, you don't wanna go through every day like, is it gonna happen? Is it gonna happen today?
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Because then you're almost gonna build up a sort of disappointment and it'll take away from good things that you guys have Even though there wasn't a proposal on that day. Maybe it was a really good night out with a really nice dinner. You don't want to then go home and be like, oh, well, it didn't happen. And then it kind of takes away from everything else. So I do think it's good to know.
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That it's going to happen, but you still don't know the exact plan. So parts of it, like you said, are still going to be a surprise and still going to be that amazing moment. But just try not to over-anticipate.
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You know what? Well, and the ideal outcome, have the proposal still be a surprise in some way. And I think naturally it will be. Oh, always. I think as much as you prepare on either side, whether you're asking the question or receiving it, it's still bigger than you think. I mean, it's such a big emotional, there's no way it can't be a surprise in some sense.
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Yeah. Cool. Well, nice, happy number one.
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Number two. Hello, Jerry, Morgan, Justin, and whoever else may be co-hosting. Well, we don't know. There could be someone right here. We all have our angels with us. There could be someone standing there.
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Well, they might be good or bad angels. They could be ghosts hanging out. I got good angels.
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All right. I'm a longtime listener of THT and came to FKS when it first started. I really enjoy the show and think you give amazing advice. I'm seeking your advice specifically because you have some experience in the field I'm interested in. I, 24 male, am wanting to become a pilot. I took a Discovery flight in 2023. I had planned to go to school in 2024, but life got in the way.
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I want to be in school before the end of 2025. The reason I'm writing in is I'm not sure which path I should take. Should I go to my local airport and take the school they have there and just try to get to the airlines as soon as I can? Or should I go to a university, get a bachelor's degree in piloting? Also, I gotta admit that it does scare me sometimes.
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Sometimes I tell myself just to go for it, but then doubt creeps into my mind. I say to myself, what if I fail? Also scared about taking out student loans as it's a lot of money and I'm scared about failing and owning all of that money.
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Also, just with the way things are going with the plane crashes and with the FAA, I'm just worried that flight schools in the States might not be as safe as it once was. I've also thought about maybe flight school overseas. What would your opinion be on international flight schools?
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Ideal outcome is to be able to get into a flight school as soon as I can and be able to get into the airlines before the pilot shortage is over.
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I mean, yeah, there's a lot we could say that he should work on and that kind of thing. So what's your core message then for her?
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Yeah, I mean, especially, you know, we're three years in. And I know you mentioned that there's people out there who can be on the opposite ends of the political spectrum and somehow... They work at it. They figure it out. But what I'm seeing here is we have a major difference in religion, a major difference in politics. Two very, very big ones.
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and we're not able to you know coexist like this other couple you're mentioning they're affecting our writer here then we have an issue and so those are two big ones there's a lot of different reasons you're giving here to try and justify this breakup and i think you're having second thoughts
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And the part that sticks out to me is the sentence that says, my heart just says to give him a chance because of the time we've had together and how comfortable I am with him. And that's one of the hardest lessons I think there is to learn is no matter how long you've been together, no matter if someone saved your life or you have kids together, whatever the situation may be,
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The past is never a reason to stay together if things aren't good currently.
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And so you got to evaluate your relationship under a microscope, really. You can't look at the whole thing. We like to make decisions off of patterns, not off of a one-off. But we have some big issues here. We have some patterns happening. And I ultimately think you're making the right choice for yourself in breaking up. Of course, it's comfortable to stay in it.
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We've been together for three years and we love our routine and that, but some of these things are way bigger than I think we're letting on here. And they extend into marriage. They extend into kids. And you started to mention that stuff, but You know, it just feels like we're holding it all together just because of the past. When, you know, that'll just delay an inevitable outcome.
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A little bit additional info here. We've tried couples therapy in the past, but he was against it and never really wanted to be there, but went because I gave him an ultimatum. Eventually, I felt like we were wasting our time, and so we stopped going.
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Number one. I, 20 male, started dating this girl, 19 female, a few months ago. Okay. Things started off really great. We communicated well. We were attracted to each other. She felt like my best friend and someone who I could spend the rest of my life with. I know it's weird to say something like that after a few months, but I don't know any other way to describe it.
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We've talked about that a lot in the past.
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Okay, number three. Three. Hey, Jerry, Morgan, and Justin, I've been a loyal listener to your podcast, Two Hot Takes, and Father Knows Something for over a year now.
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I feel like I've gotten to know each of you. And Jerry, I'm particularly seeking your advice as a father figure. I'm a 25-year-old woman in a five-year relationship with a 26-year-old man. We faced significant challenges, including my abortion two years ago and his infidelity on a bachelor trip shortly after. Despite forgiving him, I've noticed a shift in his priorities.
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He spends most of his time at the gym, working, or gaming for literal hours, leaving me feeling neglected. I've communicated my needs to him, expressing my desire to be prioritized and to spend quality time together. However, he hasn't made a significant effort to change his behavior. We briefly broke up five months ago, but got back together after a week. Since then, things haven't improved.
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He still doesn't prioritize me and I'm left feeling like I'm not important to him. I've repeated myself too many times and I'm getting tired of it. I feel like I'm just going through the motions of our relationship without any real connection or effort from him. The complicating factor is that we live together and I'm not on the lease. If I leave, I'll be homeless.
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I love him, but I'm torn between sacrificing stability and my well-being. To make matters worse, during our brief breakup, I stayed with my then best friend. However, our friendship ended due to the circumstances, and I'm still grieving that loss. I'm desperate for advice and guidance on what to do next. Jerry, I'd appreciate your wisdom and advice on the situation.
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A few weeks ago, she told me that we needed to talk and that she wanted to break up. It wasn't anything that I did, according to her, but she couldn't keep lying to her parents and hiding this from them anymore. Her parents are really strict and don't want her to date. I knew this early on but wasn't expecting us to get so close as quickly as we did, which is making all this really hard.
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I know I'm not a child, but I'm seeking a fatherly perspective to help me navigate this difficult time.
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What if we brought one of the horses on set?
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Yeah, and we don't have all the context. We can't talk to you, but I'm sure you've had these thoughts, but gut reaction from me is, are there any other friends? Is there family? Do you live away from family? just what really are all of your options? Like, have you laid them all out?
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Because, you know, even how you were saying you feel childish in a way, asking for fatherly advice, are you afraid to reach out and say, you know, hey, parents or parent, I may need a place for a little bit. You know, I don't think it's ever wrong.
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you know i think your parents are there for a reason or friends or i know you don't have your best friend at this at this time but you can certainly find out what's going on with that best friend Maybe. I mean, we don't know. We don't know. We don't know the context around it, but just any possible things. And at the very least, just being able to start setting up for your move out.
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She broke up with me right before our birthdays and Valentine's Day, which made things even harder. harder. Ideal outcome. I want to wait for her, but she told me initially that I shouldn't and that she isn't worth waiting for. I want to give her the space she needs to heal as well as work on myself in the meantime so that someday we can try again.
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You know, you don't necessarily have to right now listen to this episode, turn to it and be like, we're done and walk out the door. You've been in here. You have a place to live right now. There's gotta be some time limit, but at least start trying to get your ducks in a row in a way to where you can make this move.
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Yeah, because then you meet people, you start networking. I mean, it gets the ball rolling.
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And you really can do that at any point.
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It's never too late for anybody, but you're really, you know, you're at the perfect age right now.
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So it is possible. You will get there. Just start really trying to, you know, get the dominoes lined up.
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Okay. Number four. Number four. We have a long one. Okay. Are you ready?
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I'm a weekly THT and FKS listener and want to express my gratitude to both crews and all of the beautiful souls that make up each community. So happy each and every one of you exists.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
That's kind of, yeah, it's all of us and listeners, everyone. That's like our motto right there.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I, 25 female, began dating Jason, 26 male, in October of 2024. And after typing up a few drafts full of too much detail of our situations and asking what I should do, I am instead leaning into my intuition and heart versus my mind and ego. writing to ask for opinions on what most will likely agree on when and how to break up with Jason.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
A few weeks into October, I saw an OnlyFans link. I asked him if he had an account or subscriptions, and he said no. I have nothing against OnlyFans or porn. I would just prefer my partner to not be paying for any subscriptions while in a relationship with me. The night before New Year's Eve, I'm about to fall asleep when the whole OnlyFans thing pops back into my mind.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I'm just not sure if I should do that or just try to push forward and move on. Please, any and all advice would be appreciated.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I felt like he was very short with me and maybe lying, even though he often has talked about how honesty is so important in relationships. New Year's Eve, I ask him if I can check in because it's something that's come to mind and I want to communicate any anxieties or thoughts that I'm having. I go on to ask if he has an account or any subscriptions and he says nope and just grins.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I'm a very observant person, so yeah, I just felt in my gut that he was lying. But I let it go because I didn't want to ruin the holiday. This time of year is always full of heavy emotions for me. This wave of depression began just before Christmas, and heavy waves of grief tend to last into the end of February. I lost a beautiful friend and my beautiful mother just days apart five years ago.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
my mind is really getting the best of me about how he was lying. And I knew I could just look through his phone if I asked, but I also know that if he's been lying after being so insistent on how much he hates lying about anything to anyone, that he wouldn't just show me. So I looked through his phone about two weeks after New Year's.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Found a lot of girls on Snapchat that he has had past relationships with. Some nude photos saved. Whatever, I'll just ask him to go through and clean that up. Go to OnlyFans and click sign in with Google and there you go. Account and all of his purchases. One from November 5th.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Bought when I was either in his bed in the morning or when he was not responding to me for the night once I had gone home. Again, kind of whatever. We were a month into our relationship, but he lied about it being deleted. Why? When I asked him about it the next day, he continued to lie, saying it was deleted. Double down, double down, and double down.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
He said that if I wanted to look, I could when I come over the next night. I said, okay. He pulls up the login page and goes, well, See? So I asked to see the phone. Of course, it was deleted. Along with all of his safari history. I told him I looked through his phone and I felt like shit about it, but I knew he wouldn't let me actually log into the account if he went this far to hide it.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
He then got pissed off and went silent for two hours until I said I was going to leave since it seemed he needed space. Then, of course, he could talk to me about it for a bit. which was really just me talking and him saying, okay, I'm a piece of shit. I get it. What now? The next day we go snowboarding.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Could over-explain about the bad morning we had and about how I really felt the need to leave, but instead, I'll just tell you about how him and his friends were drinking, and it was Jason and I's first time snowboarding.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
We were there 4 to 9 p.m., and I spent maybe two hours total with them because Jason picked it up right away, and I was having a straight panic attack, not understanding how to do anything because his friends did not teach us at all. We just went right up to the Black Diamond Slope. I told him to try and let me practice, and he ditched me basically the entire time.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
He insisted on talking about it that night at home after him and his friends were laughing, rating how mad I was, even though I said it wasn't a good idea to talk because he's been drinking all day. As I was calmly and kindly trying to explain my perspective and how I understand the
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
that he was just having a great time with his friends and probably didn't realize how much time was going by, he kept cutting me off very loud, multiple times. So I snapped and asked him to stop speaking over me. He got frustrated and quiet, and I said maybe I should go home, even though it was like midnight.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
He argued with me in a not nice tone for another 20 minutes until I finally was like, just go to bed because I'm exhausted and my body is killing me. We talked about it a little bit the next morning. It was just me repeating everything I said to him the night before because he was too drunk to remember anything I said. Like he does some nights because he drinks beer every night.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
And then anytime I try to bring it up, he gets upset. Says it's dwelling. But all he ever did was apologize. What resolutions and communication skills have been improved on? Nothing. Another week and a half goes by and he FaceTimes me. I'm sharing my screen and showing him some of my old Instagram posts when he gets quiet and I notice he's doing something on his phone.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
He brings up how he doesn't appreciate that. I have photos and videos with my ex on my page. They are years back and I post often so it's not like anybody's going to see it unless they're really, really searching. I understand his feelings. I don't understand why he had a disgusted look on his face and had to be kind of harsh about it and cut me off when I was trying to explain.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I also don't understand why he got so upset when I genuinely couldn't care less about the countless girls he still had contact with and a few with fun photos. So here are my thoughts. His ways of communicating are not for me. He's unable to be present because of consuming alcohol basically daily. I don't drink at all. I just smoke weed. So I know that's a huge lifestyle difference as well.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I don't want to just be giving up. He's willing to make changes for me, or so he says. But I don't want to change someone or have them want to change mainly because of me. A piece of me wants to wonder if the state of my mental health is amplifying all this, but I feel like a part of me is 99% sure that he's not willing to live a totally present life full of growth and healing. What do I do?
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
When do I do it? How do I do it? Thank you so much. I don't meet my new therapist for another month.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Right. Which, you know, in the beginning, she said in writing so many drafts of this, I realized what I need to do. Just do it. So let's go through the questions. What do I do? Pack your bags and leave, period. When do I do it?
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Well, right. But I mean, obviously, you know, he deleted it before she came the next time. Classic. Not knowing she had already seen.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I mean, but this is a very good lesson to learn. And this is why it's important to get out there and date and meet a bunch of different people because you learn what you don't want and what is not functional in a relationship. That is correct. So take this as a good lesson. It's not time lost. And I think a lot of times we all look back on bad relationships like, oh, I wasted so much time.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I wasted my 20s. But in raw reality, it made you who you are today. Yes. And that experience is what ends up leading you to be Jerry. Jerry's had a lot of these, Jerry's had a lot of investment, trust me.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Well, let us know how you do it, when you do it.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Hi, Jerry, Morgan, and Justin, all the way from Ireland. Oh, I love Ireland. I'm a 30-year-old female, and I've been dating a 31-year-old male for almost three years. He has decided to end our relationship as he does not see us ever living together. I have my own place, and he lives with his parents. He is an introvert, and I'm definitely more of an outgoing person.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I have family and friends visit me at least once or twice weekly, and he says he can't handle it. He wants it to be just me and him and also my seven-year-old son, who he has formed a great relationship with. He is currently receiving treatment for his mental health, and I've supported him throughout the relationship with his struggles.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
He has asked me if I would give him a few months to allow medication to work. He has been on medication four weeks now. He says he could change his mind and move in with me just at the moment he can't see it happening. So what do I do? The way I see it, if he wanted to, he would. and he shouldn't have to go off and think about it.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I love him so much, and I definitely want to spend the rest of my life with him, but am I wasting my time waiting around?
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
And you could sit on the horse on the saddle the whole time again.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Well, let's add this here. Ideal outcome, I want him to take the next step in our relationship and move in with me and my son. Additional info, he is also very attached to his mom and has told me he would find it hard to leave her. We only live 15 minutes away from his mom, so it's not like he can't visit her. He also wants to still come to my place once a week to spend time with my son.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
My son wants this too, as he absolutely idolizes him. He says he still loves me and wants to be with me, but he can't as we both want different things in life. He said he wanted the same things as me, but a few months ago, he changed his mind, but didn't know how to bring it up to me.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I mean, that is the biggest piece here. It's a huge piece. He said he wanted the same things and then he changed his mind. Do you want someone that's really debating if they want to be with you and then says, yeah, no, not really.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Yeah, but I mean, that's just kind of. I don't know what that means.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
We're doing one last one. Let's go. Okay. Number? Six. Six. Six. I want advice on when to let someone go. I love your show and the advice you give. So dad, my last relationship destroyed me and I had a miscarriage when we broke up. So I was single for four years working on myself. And I recently met a guy that treats me great.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
The best I've ever been treated, gives me compliments and is always there. Well, it's been about a week since we talked. I really like him still, and I have no idea what's going on. Like if he's in jail, if he's alive. I haven't heard anything. And last time I saw him, he asked me to be his girlfriend. So I'm so confused.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
How long do you think I should wait to see if he reaches out before I let him go?
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Ideal outcome, hopefully hear from him soon or just move on with my life. Additional info, we are both 26. I really liked him a lot. We did hook up. That's about it. I don't know if I got ghosted or something happened.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Well, I just, you know, I'm not going to make it up.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Well, and maybe let's put it in the scenario that your calls aren't going through, your texts aren't being replied to.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Right, unless he is like some wild hiking person and got lost in the woods and didn't have service and then gets found.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Right, right. But in all reality, if this is a ghosting situation, I think it is advantageous that it happened as early as it possibly could. Not a day later. It's already happened. Hard part's over. And yeah, it sucks. Because I think about with these, when I first met Morgan and within the first few weeks or the first month, if she had ghosted me, I mean, I would have been wrecked, right?
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
But you're heartbroken, you heal, you move forward because the reality is you're going to find someone else that treats you great. And like you hear, the best you've ever been treated, maybe better than that, compliments, and is always there for you. You will find that.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
And especially right after the pop the question.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
That's true. It's scary. Dating is scary.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Give it dignity. And that kind of honestly ties all of these together. That's where we're at with a lot of these stories is wondering if it's time to break up, knowing it's time to break up and wondering how to do it, when to do it. A lot of these have that kind of woven through them.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Some of them deserve the thank you next. Or just, well, not even the thank you next. Not even that.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Yeah. Well, on the other side, you know, the reason being her parents didn't want her, don't want her to date. That's a whole thing in itself. But she actually thought that was more important than you and hers connection.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
But even if it was, right? Even if it was, she still didn't choose you. She still chose to succumb to that. Right. So I think you're in a place where it does make sense to move forward, continue your life. You know, it's a tough deal anytime anyone's going to wait around for somebody. Because what if it never happens? And then you look back with regrets.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Well, and right here, you know, on additional info, we both attend the same college. I'm from this town, but she lives a few hours away. I'm currently a senior and about to graduate with my bachelor's in computer science. and have a job lined up to start in the late summer slash fall. She, on the other hand, is only a freshman right now working toward becoming a doctor.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I am worried that after I graduate and I won't be seeing her on campus as often that our friendship may fade and there will not be a second chance after I leave campus. And so also with that additional info, we're kind of, though we're both in college, we're we're at a little bit different life stage. You're about to graduate and move on to your job and your career's waiting and here you go.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
You're off to the races. She's still kind of finding herself, finding her career. Yeah, she wants to go into the medical field, but she's at the beginning of the college journey and you're at the end. And honestly, there's a big difference between the two. Not saying a relationship couldn't work out, but more time to just kind of
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Look forward and just move, go onto this career and just hit the gas pedal.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Or you could just feel like you're cursed in general. It doesn't necessarily have to be from a relationship.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Right. But right now it kind of seems like all these signs are pointing in one direction. It all goes together right now. So it's a tough one. Heartbreak is never fun.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Yeah. You got a lot of good things coming.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Okay, number two. Number two. Hi, Dad, Morgan, and Justin. Hello. I've been a longtime listener of THT and just recently FKS. I need some advice if I'm making the right choice to break up with my boyfriend. Some backstory on my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been dating for three years and met on Tinder after I was single for about five years.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I'm 29 years old, 30 in February, and my boyfriend is 30. We jumped into a relationship quickly as he moved in with me, my sister, and my niece within a month of our first meeting. He has a strained relationship with his family and was even homeless at a point due to his mom kicking him out and then his dad kicking him out when we met.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
He has a history of alcoholism and bipolar disorder, which we both connected on as I struggle with my mental health as well. I offered for him to live with us as I did not want him to be without a place to live again. Through the years we've been together, I feel comfortable when he is around and love the time we spend together and being able to talk about anything and everything.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I feel like he truly makes me happy, but our relationship has always been a bit hard as I never felt supported by my boyfriend. And we have very different beliefs. I've shared with him that I feel like I'm more his mother than a girlfriend. I work from home, so I handle most chores and cooking, but my boyfriend is extremely messy and careless.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
We've had countless conversations about him picking up after himself or cleaning up, but barely anything changes and we end up going back to me cleaning up. He is also a strong believer in God but does not follow a religion. I am agnostic and have shared that I do not wish to teach religion to my future children.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
He usually gets upset when the conversation comes up and is disappointed in me that I do not believe in God. I accept that we can have different beliefs, but when we talk about the idea of marriage, he says to him we are already married and only God has to witness our relationship and not a government. But of course, I would want to be more traditional and have an actual wedding.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Recently, we have been arguing over politics and his support for Trump. I would say that I'm not very knowledgeable in politics, but see the reactions and the rhetoric that Trump spreads to know that I do not support him or believe he will help America. My boyfriend says my thinking is very negative and finds Trump to be a good person.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
When debating over this, my boyfriend sticks to supporting him and does not sway in any points I bring up. One of the last straws to break up with him was when we had a conversation about Trump's inauguration speech saying there are only two genders, and my boyfriend said, scientifically, that is correct.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
My boyfriend has never been homophobic or judgmental outright, but when we talk about these issues, I see his true feelings. When I broke up with my boyfriend and told him these reasons, he said that he really would change and even said he would denounce Trump. My heart just says give him a chance because of the time we've had together. and how comfortable I am with him.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Recently, he has been sober and working on his health by going to the gym and taking daily vitamins, but I fear that these things are only for himself and not to better our relationship. I feel like I'm stuck on what could be possible because I saw a life with him and a family with him.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
Is there something that I could do to help him see the issues we have and to change, or should we go our separate ways?
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
I mean, there's had to been a point in your life where you're like, oh, I just, I must be cursed.
Father Knows Something
159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
When just a bunch of bad stuff happens in a row.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Hi, Jerry, Justin, Morgan, and whoever else may be listening. I've been listening to THT since the early episodes, and I just want to say that you've been a major cornerstone of my late teens and early 20s. And I absolutely adore Father Knows Something and love the perspective Jerry offers.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
It's like deciding what you're going to have for lunch.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I'm writing in because I could really use some advice. First off, I apologize for being a bit vague. I just don't want anyone I know to recognize that it's me writing in. I'm a 23-year-old female who graduated college about a year ago. Since then, I've been working full-time in a more corporate role.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I got the job through the help of a family member, and I truly cannot overstate how grateful I am, not only to them for trusting me, but also to my employer for giving me this opportunity. I know what a blessing it is to be employed so young, especially in today's job market. That being said, I'm at a crossroads.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I know I'm still young and might not have the broadest life perspective yet, but I feel kind of stuck. I've always felt a calling in a certain civil service role. It's something that's been in the back of my mind since I was a kid. To make that dream happen, I know I'll have to put in a lot of work as the preparation for this job takes a lot of time and effort.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
But the thing holding me back is the fear of disappointing the people who took a chance on me. especially by pivoting to a career that's so different from the one I'm currently in. Right now, I'm in a solid industry that could allow me to become very successful sooner rather than later. The job I dream of isn't financially lucrative by any means, and that's a trade-off I'm willing to make.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
But what if it's just a pipe dream? What if I completely derail my trajectory because I can't see the broader picture? I'm seeking advice because I feel like everyone in my life is afraid I'm about to make an impulsive decision that will make life harder for me. Most people I've told about my dream either don't take me seriously or flat out say it's a bad idea.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I get where they're coming from, but the thought of potentially building a future where I help people every day is what gets me through my day-to-day. My ideal outcome, I want a clearer roadmap for how to navigate this point in my life from people who do not know me personally. I want to pursue my goals, or at least try.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I don't want to majorly mess up my life by making the wrong move, and more than anything, I don't want to disappoint the people I care about. But at the same time, I don't want to look back in regret, not even trying, while I'm young and capable of doing a physically and emotionally demanding job.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Context, I've always been extremely attention deficit and hyperactive, which makes me really forgetful when I'm understimulated. This can make me feel like I am bad at my current job. I want to be in a more physically engaging role because I found that my mental health improves when I'm active. When I'm stagnant for too long, I tend to become a bit depressed.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Well, I feel like if there's a little bit of the family member kind of sticking their neck out for you, got you this position. I don't care. The reality is, is you've been there for a year.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
It's not like you've been there for a month and then you're like, oh, not for me, I'm out. You work there for a year.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
So if the family member says any sort or any part of your family that then is trying to back them up says something along the lines of, you know, they kind of put themselves out there. They got you this job. And how well you do kind of rides, it shows on them. And if you leave, it'll be. But at this point, a year in,
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
if that family member was just normal and let's say they're kind of intertwined in the same company or something, If they tell everyone else, hey, yeah, they just realized they really wanted to go do this. And though they enjoyed their time here, they did great work. They're just going on to other things. Who's going to fault you? No one. Even in the company.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I get how family can sometimes hold things.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Well, you know me, of course, I'm gonna say, go do it. That's what I've preached the entire time we've been on this show.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Go, take the chance, try it. You can always come back. And even if you come back and this position's not here, you can come back to something in this field is what I mean. It's just, you gotta try.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
And if family's mad at you, be like, sorry for making my own choices and trying to make myself happy and live a life I want to.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Hi, Jerry and crew. I need some advice on a situation that's been lingering literally at my house for over a month. I'm female 29. My ex male 28 broke up with me about a year ago and we haven't spoken since. A little over a month ago, I got a package delivered to my apartment, but it was addressed to my ex.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I figured he must have ordered something online and forgot to update his shipping address because he can be irresponsible like that. I texted him a photo of the package and he replied saying he did need it and had forgotten to update the pre-saved address on the website.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I told him no problem and just to let me know when he's coming to pick it up and I'll leave it on my deck or in the mailbox for him. I figured there's no need for us to interact because of this. Well, it's now been 32 days. I followed up twice. The first time he said he'd come grab it on a Saturday, but he never showed. The second time I asked again when he'd be coming.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
And according to red receipts, He saw the message immediately after I sent it, but he just didn't respond. It's now been almost a week since I sent that last text and still no response. He lives only 20 minutes away. So here's my question. Would I be an asshole if I just threw the package out at this point? Or should I suck it up, drive it over to him and drop it off just to be done with it?
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Part of me feels petty throwing it away, and I also don't know if that'd be illegal since it's not my mail, but part of me feels like it's not my responsibility to drive it to him when he's the one who made the mistake. He's had plenty of time to come get it, and I'm tired of having it at my place. Would love to hear what you all think.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Yeah, what if it's something useful to you? What if you could use it? Would you rather throw... Jerry, Jerry, let's say it's something very useful to you.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
What if it's a box of amazing, great socks for the show? Brand new. I don't... You'd rather throw it in the trash.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I already put his name on it though, you know?
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Or maybe someone's trying to target him and thinks he still lives there.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
We get it's illegal to open other people's mail. I wouldn't open it. But if it's something that someone else could just use, then it's very wasteful to throw away.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
If you're actually going to write that on the box, you have to play the song as you do it.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Kick it to the curb. Just shake it and see if you can figure out what's in it like kids on Christmas.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Or Morgan still does that. Every gift.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I mean, you could screw things up with someone that would have been your person because you think that A over there is Prince Charming and who you're meant to be with. So go figure out if he's Prince Charming so that when, if it's not A-
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
If the one does come into your life, you don't turn them away and lose that potential perfect future because of this fairy tale you have in your mind with A. So go see.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
To keep a hook in, to keep the hook in the fish, even as the fish goes and explores, you keep a hook in. And if that is the case, it starts to become very manipulative where I can have a hold on her while also going out and being with these other people So you'll be able to find that out too.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Because if he doesn't commit, then you need to start looking at potentially cutting him out of your life altogether. Cutting the hook. So that the manipulation can't be there because we know it's not real.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Would be interesting if you sat over there and every time I was like, you agree, you agree, I agree, unanimous jury. And then you slap the gavel, do your verdict. Do you agree?
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Unanimous verdict. And then you start wearing the full judge uniform every time.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Number six. Are we ready? Hi, Jerry, Justin, Morgan, and friends.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I've listened to your show for years along with THT and I've seen THT twice in Minneapolis. That's wonderful. I also met you guys and spent some time with you all after a show, but this is my first time actually writing in. Okay, onto the issue. In my past, I've had a few long-term and serious relationships. However, after my last one ended, I've chosen to stay single for a while.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
This past year, I've begun looking for something again, not necessarily in a rush, but I would like to start something lasting with a partner. I've had three situationships, and of those, two of them loved by me very hard, then left me feeling not good enough. The other was a slow burn, but would never actually commit or make any effort to make me feel like we were ever even truly dating.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
All this to say, I've finally met someone who I think is genuine, but I'm having trouble not panicking. We met a little over a month ago on Hinge and have gone on five or so dates. He expressed that he has paused his Hinge account and I did the same. I do have some worries, though, because our schedules are very opposite.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I have a class and work early each day, so I'm up early and try to sleep at a somewhat decent time each night. I've quickly learned that his schedule is 3 to 11 p.m., and he goes to the gym and stays up very late and then sleeps until 1 or 2 p.m. each day. That being said, it's hard to see him. He has also pushed back plans or canceled on two occasions,
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
when the opportunity to spend time with his friends came up. I understand that his schedule makes it tough for him to make any plans like that, so I get it, but I was still very disappointed. Our conversations are usually pretty engaging and he texts me when he can throughout the day, usually three to five occasions and like three to five texts each time. So it's not like he's blowing me off.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
However, I can't shake the feeling that I'm getting my hopes up again and that he's just going to ditch me like I've been ditched before. I have anxiety and sometimes when I'm waiting on a text, like right now, it spikes and I find it hard to concentrate or relax. I feel like I'm overreacting and because I'm so used to being love bombed, this slower pace is making me overthink.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
But I don't know, I can't help but worry. Ideal outcome, I'd like to be able to relax a bit and maybe have a little reassurance that this is going somewhere. I love the way we click, and our first date was amazing. We watched the lunar eclipse together and had hours-long conversations. I don't know. I just want to get out of my head.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I also know it can be hard to click with someone, as you say, and have them be above the rest. Because if you go through a string of failed situationships or bad people, or even not bad people that just don't mesh with you, when one does, it's like, oh my God, it just is that crazy spark, that crazy feeling.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
But even when it comes to someone you're clicking with, so many things need to fall into place that are bigger than just that. That's kind of the first step. That's being able to walk through the front door. But now there's a lot of things that need to align that are not just surface level and not just basic.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Yeah, it's great when you can connect with someone and have that lunar eclipse night and hours long conversations. Like that's the best part of dating and when you find someone, but... In reality, as you go forward, logistically, things need to line up better. The schedules can't be like this. That's not functional. Yeah, they do.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
For a serious long, like, I mean, some people probably make it work. Yeah, they do. Right? But I'm saying- I think the vast majority, when you're raising kids and you're looking at all this different stuff, it's nice to have your stuff aligned a little bit because you want to spend your lives together.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I'm curious how they were able to get together for five dates. Is that weekends?
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
But I'm curious when. Because during the week, it seems like maybe we could get together for lunch.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Before he works. His schedule is 3 to 11. Does that mean his work schedule?
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Because it's eight hours. So that's a hard, I mean, that's just an interesting block of time where once you're done with class and stuff, you have a little window then before three.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
See, but that's the issue, right? Because the timing of when to bring this up is really what determines it. Because if you do it right away- Second date. Someone who's thinking like you are like, ah, I don't know. I'll probably never leave here, but the right person. But if you do it too early, how are they going to know you're the right person that they are willing to change that and go move for?
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Well, and there's ways to poke at that without necessarily being like, are you open to this? Because I'm leaving in this amount of time.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I mean, it is a good point to bring up because I don't think I made that a big deal.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I don't think I really talked about it or brought it up.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Just the same when I first asked you to be my girlfriend, you said, no, I didn't make it a big deal. I didn't come to you the next day and be like, oh, why don't you want to be with me? Why aren't we doing this? It hurt, but I just took it, moved forward, booked the little trip for us to New York.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
just continued on as if I had never asked, just still trying to, and win you over is kind of a weird way to put it, but just trying to get to know you.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
But it's not, it was just trying to get to know you better, trying to have fun and trying to keep what we had and not put a lot of pressure on, oh, you have to be my girlfriend or I'm out. It was more just put your head down, keep going. And so I guess when you apply that here, It's so difficult. You got to kind of read the person that's sitting across from you.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
You'll know the timing, but I think it's also a lot easier maybe on the first date if it's going well or second or third to say, hey, because you're obviously going to know if they're from there. Do you see yourself staying in this city long-term or what's kind of the outlook for your life? Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
You know, that's kind of basic things that have no implication of what you're thinking. And then if they say, you know, I've been here my whole life, I'm thinking about maybe moving somewhere else and experiencing a different place for a time.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
There you go. And then at some point you can kind of lead into that conversation. Well, hey, that's funny because I'm here and I'm thinking about doing this. Yeah. And then that can grow with you guys together, especially then you get closer. That time's going to keep approaching.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Then you can, you know, you got to know someone maybe a couple months before you're like, so would you want to move with me? Yeah. You can't do that. No.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
It's worth it to find that right person.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
And if you don't find someone, well, in a year and a half, you're going to probably be where you're going to be for a lot longer of a time. Then it's even easier.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I don't know if I'd involve this new woman in the process, at least not at first, because it's a pretty intense emotional situation.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
And I think if you're going to have... I don't know. You could break down. You could have little emotional outbursts. You could, I don't know. You could get very frustrated and this may not be the person you want to have right there. If you're just trying to, you know, you're trying to build something with them.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
And if you involve them at the start of this, I mean, I know you say you don't have someone to teach you, but, But have you asked everyone? Because I think people are very willing, even if they're a coworker or not even the closest friend, to say, hey, yeah, I'll take you over. We can go to the parking lot and drive around a little bit.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I think eventually, sure. But once you can get in the car and know that you can confidently at least drive around a parking lot, I wouldn't involve them until a later stage. They can be part of that, that success story for you. But I just at first, it's so unpredictable. I wouldn't take out two things with one stone unnecessarily.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
And just ask somebody. Yeah. I would ask anyone. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
It's more, yes, it can be fun. It can be terrifying, but it's more of just a really a necessary part of living your life. I mean, without driving, it's so restrictive. Unless you're in a big city like New York, I could live there with no car, New York City. There's no car needed. And yes, you can get through with Ubers and things, but at some point,
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I mean, having your own car is the most convenient thing in the world, and being able to drive that car.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I mean, I think it goes along with what you've been saying the last couple episodes. If they are not right for you, you break things off. You'll know very quickly.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Right, but she hasn't done it yet. So if you haven't made the choice yet, you're still kind of... And it says right there, is this salvageable? Well, the quickest way to get your answer is to truly break things off and then see if you still feel resolved in your decision. And if then it just kind of grows and you move forward and you're like, yeah, that was right.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
I'd be sending them pictures of my CT scan with a middle finger.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
This was actually due to me exploring religious life in a Catholic convent. For the past 10 years, I have had no desire to date at all, and I truly believed that God was calling me to dedicate my life to him as a Catholic nun. I have not taken the steps to actually becoming a nun yet, and the process of finding the right community is draining. There have been a lot of ups and downs throughout it.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
Recently, the desire for companionship has become the forefront of my thoughts. For the past 10 years, I really didn't care at all about dating, and I was happy for my friends who found their partners because I did not feel that lifestyle was for me. But now I find myself envious of their happiness.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
The issue I'm facing is that I have spent the majority of my 20s not dating, so I don't have the experience under my belt to know how to really do it anymore. I also feel like I should add that I am still a virgin. I do not have a problem with premarital sex. I'm not that kind of crazy Catholic. But once again, it wasn't something I was really interested in at all until recently.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
I find it almost embarrassing to think about going on dates with guys and having to explain to them that not only have I not been on a date in 10 years, but I also have never had sex and I'm almost 30. I find myself feeling very guilty about all of these new conflicting feelings I'm having. I'm still considering becoming a nun, but this new desire in me is overpowering.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
This will come out like February 17th, that Monday, or Tuesday, 18th then? I don't know. Somewhere in there.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
I feel guilty entering into a relationship with someone knowing that one day I may very well leave them to become a nun. It's just not fair to them. On the other hand, I worry that I am going against what I truly believed for so much of my life is what God wanted from me, and that I may be throwing it all away because of some silly romantic fantasy that may not mean anything.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
I guess my question is twofold. How do I get back into dating as a 28-year-old with little to no prior experience, and if I do end up dating, how do I tell these guys that I'm a virgin without them thinking I'm weird? Ideal outcome, to figure out what I truly want and to not feel guilty about it anymore. Additional info, I have been on dates before.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
I dated in high school and have been in three prior relationships, but none of those were adult relationships. I stopped dating when I was 19 to pursue religious life.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
You were. But you know what? We don't want the people in these stories to be the sacrificial berry eaters. We want to try, you know, between the three of us on this boucle furniture and... All of you guys out there, we want to be able to intercept them at this critical point that they seem to be in and see if we can help them have a good outcome. Are you ready?
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
I mean, so many churches have like social hours to hook up their young singles. Yes.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
I mean, I just had a sponsorship for Bumble. And Justin and I met on Hinge. And all of those dating apps now, you can filter by what you're interested in. If you're looking for someone who's very conservative or very religious, and you can pick what faith, you can pick what hobbies they're into. You can needle it down to, do they like Taylor Swift? You can really make dating...
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
You know what you want it to be. But again, I think you got to realize like, hey, first couple of times on that bike, they might suck. You might get some bad dates, but don't let it discourage you because there are so many good people out there. And I wouldn't even think anything about the virgin thing. I don't think you need to disclose it on the first date, but it's nothing to be ashamed about.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Not at all. I think in media, we amp up sex so much. Clearly, there's shows like Euphoria. There's shows like this, like whatever. it does not matter if you're 28 and still a virgin.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
Like I just read a Reddit story the other day that this guy was writing in and he was 35 and he was still a virgin because he just had never met anyone that he was really interested in and connected with. And I don't think twice about that. Like that does not bother me. It's not going to phase the right person. Honestly, it might interest the right person for you even more. Like,
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
your person will not care. Your person will just love you. And so get out there, get your toes wet, just start dating. And I think it'll really help. But I do agree. I'm like, maybe, maybe the nun role isn't your role, but like in my head and I get in your head and someone who's really religious might be very different. But if you're still, you know,
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
upholding what God would want and participating in the faith and teaching about the faith or, you know, maybe doing some minister, smaller type roles or teaching Sunday school. Like, are you still not helping God and the faith, but also still having a life that's fulfilling? Like, it sounds like a have your cake and eat it too to me. So.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
Still, like, this is an interesting new direction you're going with the shoe horns.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
What? I'm pissed. Do you want to go first?
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
The only way you are going to have a stress-free, enjoyable wedding day is if you do not accept any money from your parents and you truly set your foot down. You're an adult. You're getting married. I don't care if it means you have to downsize your wedding and you don't get the flowers you want or you go to a cheaper venue.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
You will not enjoy your day if you take their money and you let yourself get manipulated by them. Your wedding hasn't happened yet. You're planning. And he says, it might be your wedding, but I'm writing the check. Do not take the check. Rip it up. I'm so serious. Justin and I just did a wedding episode for Two Hot Takes. You might have listened to it. It's, you know, is eloping underrated.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
And if you look at the comments on the YouTube, on the Instagram, you look at the poll, the amount of people that said elope. My day got hijacked from someone. This person made it stressful. This, this, this. And there's so many people out there that have had great weddings too, right? But your family is already showing the potential for disaster. And you are so excited.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
You want to have a good day. And the person you love and care about protecting will not have a good day and you won't have a good day if you don't really lay the hammer down and say, dad, not taking your money. I don't care if you open up a new credit card to get what you want and find something with low interest and come up with a good budget, but do not take the money and set the line.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
Uncle's not getting invited. I'm inviting those other siblings. I'm sending the invite. It's my wedding. You can't stop me. And if you have an issue, you don't have to come either because that's where you're at. I'm like, this is such a hard line for me where the dad not like stepping up for your sibling that's getting told, oh, I'll pray for you.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
Your dad doesn't care or he believes what the uncle is saying because otherwise you don't let someone disrespect your child like that. Okay, that was my soapbox. Someone else?
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
No, but it is hard. I mean, it's I know I've gone through the struggle of like, do I keep trying to maintain a relationship with my dad or do I just let it go because it's not healthy? And it is a really hard place to get to. And it's. I understand the struggle. It's not hard.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
He can't and he won't. And he will continue to manipulate you with money and hold that over your head. From people I know that have not enjoyed their wedding days, it's because they let their family steam railroad. Roadrun? I don't know.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
Steamroll. They let their family steamroll their stuff. Whether it was like my mom invited way more people than I told her she could. Like she just brought all her friends or I didn't even get to pick what cake I wanted because my mom picked my cake or my dad did this. It's like... it becomes not enjoyable because it's not what you want.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
And I just don't think if you're already getting into just wedding planning and he's already threatening you and holding checks over your head, don't take it. Do not take it.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
Yeah, and I will say, like, I get, like... People can disagree with politics. People can have differing opinions with politics like that's fine. But when you start disagreeing on whether humans deserve rights or not, that's just not like that's not someone you should have to put up with. And I think the uncle is completely out of line and no, don't invite him. Keep us posted, though.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
My 29 female husband, Will, 40, and I have been together for five years. Ever since our first date, he has expressed his extreme love for cooking. He loves to make everything, even going to lengths to purchase textbooks for chefs. Even his own mother has mentioned how she gets nervous cooking for him because everyone is aware of the high standards he has for food.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
We don't need assault charges for our friends.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
Yeah, this just I think you kind of hit it on the head, too, when you said, like, I live in this bubble. And it's like, if you are just constantly on FaceTime with someone, literally, if he's not working, like it's he's there on your iPad, like. How are you even getting the chance to hear your own thoughts?
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
How are you getting a chance to just decompress and not be on and just maybe go try a new hobby, maybe go out with a friend? Like, yeah, it's a pleasant bubble, but like you don't have to put yourself in the bubble at all. You can live a full life and maybe FaceTime, you know. Goes off two days a week to start.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
You know, you don't have to quit cold turkey, but one day, one day, hey babe, Mondays, we don't FaceTime. Mondays are my day. I'm going to go out. I'm going to walk around the park. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. Go start living. Because if you make your partner your whole world...
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
You're not growing. And what happens if you guys don't work out? Then you have no one. You have no village. And we need villages in our life. We need friends. We need social contact. That is what makes healthy, happy people.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
His love for food is causing a rift that I don't know how to fix, though. It comes in two parts. First, because he is so dedicated to hand crafting the meal, at times we are not eating until 10 or 11 at night. On New Year's Eve, we didn't eat until 1 a.m. in the morning, New Year's Day.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
Yeah. And I will say like for anyone that's nervous about therapy, you don't have to be. And I'll give you like an analogy that I'm thinking about for this listener. It sounds like this listener has a job. When you go and you get a job, you have to go through an interview, right? You go, you meet the person, whether it's your manager or whatever boss there, and you interview.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
And you're kind of both getting a read on each other. Do I like this manager? Do I want to work with them? And they're kind of like, hmm, is this the right person for the job here? That's kind of what it feels like initially when you're starting therapy. You're almost interviewing your therapist. You're making sure you guys click.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
And then as you go on, it's kind of this like same dynamic as like maybe with a coworker where there's this level of professionalism, but you're, you know, you're nice. You're just getting to know each other, maybe, maybe a little friendly, but there's still that professionalism there that you want to maintain. And It's really nothing to be scared about.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
It can feel really scary sharing vulnerable, intense information or trauma or things like that. But these are trained professionals. They've heard it all. They've been trained on how to address a lot of it. So you will be in good hands. But hey, if you go to the interview and you don't like them, bye. Try the next one. No harm changing. You just keep going. It's like dating or making friends.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
You really have to kind of feel out that person and if they're going to be a good match.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
They give you the tools. We can't handle life.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
I have tried to talk to him about starting prep earlier, cutting corners here or there, or simplifying the meal, but each time he gets upset with me. Now I know what people are thinking, quote, are you offering help? The answer is yes, but this leads me to the second issue. I have never been one to cook. I've always lived with a friend or partner that enjoyed cooking.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
Maybe. You're going to be able to stay awake for us down there?
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
Hi from Tasmania. I, 22 female, and my boyfriend, 22 male, have been together for three years, two of which we did long distance while he was in the army. Although we only saw each other once every three months, I still considered our relationship a very strong one, and the distance between us didn't make a difference to me. Fast forward to now.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
My boyfriend has left the army, and we've been living together for about eight months. On New Year's Eve 2024, I was convinced that he was going to propose. It was our anniversary and my boyfriend had told me at the last minute that we weren't going to my family New Year's Eve party. We were instead going on a romantic camping trip, just the two of us.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
When the night passed and he hadn't proposed, I was devastated. I told him why I was so obviously upset and he said that we wouldn't be getting engaged so soon as, quote, two of the years we have been together didn't really count. To me, the time we were apart counts the most. I know with 100% certainty that he is the man I will be with forever.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
But since New Year's Eve, I can't stop thinking about how he doesn't feel like we are ready for the next step when I am so ready. My boyfriend has reassured me that I'm the woman he wants to be with and we will be getting engaged, so I don't understand what he is waiting for.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
I hope you will be able to offer some advice on how to push aside this feeling of wanting more and getting quite annoyed while waiting for him to catch up to the level that I'm on. A lot of people go through this. Yeah, a lot of people.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
I even dated a true chef who was verbally abusive, especially in the kitchen. When I did live alone for around a year, I would cook small meals for myself that I enjoyed. Little pasta dishes, salads, sandwiches, etc. I was a huge fan of frozen chicken and frozen meals that could help make prep easier. I also struggle with ADHD, depression, and previously an eating disorder.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
Well, and let's also look at age. You both are 22. And I fully understand that you think this is going to be the person that you spend the rest of your life with. This is the man I will be with forever. And I don't want to take away from that.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
I know. And I don't want to take away from that because some people do make their soulmate at 21 and 22 and 19 and, you know, a bunch of ages. But I will say I thought that about my boyfriend at 22. And if I would have married that one. No, my life would, it would have been painful.
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
So in my eyes, and maybe this is something that you can kind of reframe in your head, I would start to think, I'm 22. What's the hurry? You know, what's the hurry?
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
Wouldn't you rather wait a couple years really dating, really traveling, enjoying life, decorating together, doing all these things and making sure he's the right person versus getting married now and finding out in two years he's not the right person and you have to go through a divorce?
Father Knows Something
158: Father Knows: Critical Points..
potentially a divorce and then co-parenting which is an added dynamic and then you have to find your new person who is actually your person while you have an ex that you're co-parenting with there's a lot that could go into that so just take the pressure off truly like you're 22 i know in your additional info you mentioned you have siblings 32 30 28 that aren't married and the boyfriend has said that the siblings not being married is a part of the reason he's hasn't proposed which
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That's a weird excuse. Ignore that. But like, what is the pressure? I think for me, I just wanted a sense of commitment. Like, hey, we are working forward. We're moving in the right direction, which you guys are. You moved in together. You know, you're continuing to date now and build your life. Great direction. Justin and I were together four years, five years ago.
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I thought five, five years before we were, we got engaged, we got engaged in September and our five year anniversary was that December.
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So that was kind of our timeline. And like, for me, if I would have gone to that five year mark without an engagement, I would have been like, okay, you know, maybe he's not that serious.
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A while into dating, Will would ask me to cook dinner. I told him about my past experiences, saying that I will try not to put too much pressure on food. I'd cook one of my small meals and every time he'd tell me, quote, good job, but I'd use the wrong pan to cook the tomatoes, that my vegetable slices were uneven, my seasoning for the chicken was too much, etc. So I stopped trying.
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fair boundary to have but like you guys have not lived in the same city you know just a year you have that overlap and now you're moving in together so I think you're on the right track and yeah if you want to set a boundary for yourself like where you're like hey two more years if I'm not engaged like he doesn't respect my timeline I'm moving on and that would be your choice you could be really wild and just propose to him
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You could. I did joke. I said I would do that to you. But I will say.
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I was fully kidding. I was fully kidding. But I will say, you know, as someone that did wait to like... Justin waited to propose and I had to wait to get engaged. Like, after I got engaged... I didn't even care. I was like, okay, yeah, I feel good. Like I didn't immediately start wedding planning.
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Yeah. And I'm still like, I want to be married, but I'm like, well, we could wait another year on the wedding. Like I just, it was just the sign of a commitment and we're on the same page. And I do think you're getting that by moving in, moving in together at 22 and like you're building this big life. Like that is amazing. Huge. So you're on the right track. Take the pressure off.
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Make sure you're going to be with the right person because it's not fun to find out at 25 you picked the wrong one.
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Yeah. And that was really special. So, yeah. I've been there and I know it's so hard. I don't know what sometimes our brains do to us, but it will come with the right person, whether it's him or not. Relax, enjoy the ride and just, you know, make sure it's the right one. Yeah.
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No, we've got a... Number six, it's kind of a happy note to end on, but it is a tumultuous story. Deals with some sexual harassment at work, but it is a happy ending.
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I felt like the kitchen just wasn't my place. However, now we fight about how he always has to cook. I have asked to not be critiqued every time and he always replies with something like, don't you want to be better? Quote, so you can't take critique? Quote, it's sad that you wouldn't want to improve.
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Hey guys, love ya. Straight to the point. I quit my job on the spot after almost two years and I've never felt better in my life and I think Papa Jerry would love this.
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I am a woman in a man's field. I am slash was a welder and after years of dealing with guys telling me to give them blowjobs and coming up behind me and yanking on my hair and asking if I liked it in a sexual way, Being told I have guys over all the time to blow my back out. I've had an amazing boyfriend for three years, so it isn't random, guys.
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And high school bullying in a professional environment since I started. It has completely crushed my mental and physical health, being in that environment. And two weeks ago, I got written up and screamed at for putting my hair in a ponytail before I cleaned my area. And I left. After months of going into HR and crying about how horrible and uncomfortable I was out there, they did nothing.
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And the one other girl that was in the shop with me that I thought was a good coworker to me turned her back on me and said the most horrible stuff about me with the people who harassed me every day. After I walked out, I was a wreck, but now, having two weeks to find my mental state again, it has been such a relief. I feel like I can actually breathe again, and I am so happy.
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Yeah, no, these people you worked with are absolute disgusting pigs.
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Our audio listeners would have no idea that you were here.
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You know what's really hard? I'm not sure with the state of politics currently. A lot of DEI initiatives also help protect women in the workplace. So... I'm not sure, but it might be worth looking into. And, you know, if you do want to get back into welding, not every welding place is going to be like this.
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Not every welding place is going to have piggish people who make very inappropriate comments. Like that's not all welding shops. So if you love it, go back, you'll find your spot. But if you don't, If you want to try something else, which I think you might based on the additional info, I'm thinking of going back to school to learn a different profession.
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I have expressed that if he continues to critique me, that I'll stop cooking, and he always tells me that's immature. What can I do? We both work full-time. I do appreciate his cooking, and I think it's great, but I don't like upsetting him when I ask how long until dinner or to be told the meal isn't good enough every single time. Cooking just isn't a passion for me. Please help.
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The job made me develop carpal tunnel and tendonitis very bad in both hands. And in these two weeks, my hands hurt no more. And I can actually hold a pencil for more than a minute without my hands going numb.
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You might be at a critical point yourself. Happy note now, but critical point of going back to school or going back into a trade, I will say maybe look into OT because if you do go back into welding, there are definitely adaptions and things like a wrist guard that could help you keep your wrist more neutral and not agitate your carpal tunnel.
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Yeah, there you go. Oh, it reminds me of the movie, The Intern.
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Yeah. Robert De Niro, Anne Hathaway. So good.
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That's all we got. Yeah, critical points.
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Yeah, come over to YouTube, because that's where we really want you guys to leave your comments for the listeners. It's definitely... The more active community we have and- And I read those comments, by the way. You do. Yeah, you do. And you kind of defend yourself in them some weeks, you know, like when you clip a key on your belt and it looks like a chastity belt.
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I really, really appreciate when you guys go and comment on YouTube or the Instagram. We will likely be opening Spotify comments soon, but I think that YouTube is a great way where everyone can interact and give their advice and our listeners do see it. Our listeners are often in the comments saying, hi, I'm the writer from story number four.
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The P.O. box is on there. It's in the description.
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That you got to go check tomorrow. Apparently I've gotten some presents.
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Head over to Patreon. It is really, really good this month.
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And January stories we did. It was all me and my dad. We were on one, you guys. We were really, we were on one. So come on over and join us.
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Yeah, The Dating Game is the one that that serial killer went on.
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That I think is just going to be a you thing. Bye, guys.
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Yeah, it's been a crazy, busy, stressful week for all of us. A lot of rain here in LA, pumping out the backyard again this week.
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I think there's so much more here, though, than just the time they're eating and, hey, don't critique my cooking. This, to me, is really starting to feel abusive. Like, I do not like this dynamic. I think it's been very clear, hey, don't critique my cooking. I don't appreciate it. I'm not going to cook if you critique me.
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To me, based on this writing that we have, that seems crystal clear that she's expressed that boundary. And still, she is met with, don't you want to be better? So you can't take a critique. It's sad that you wouldn't want to improve. All of that is extremely manipulative.
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I think he needs to go to therapy. I don't know if he's dealing with, you know, maybe OCD is contributing to this because when Justin cuts up Zucchini, I'm not looking at how even slices the zucchini or the whatever are. It seems to me like he has such strict, precise guidelines that maybe he's dealing with some neurodivergent tendencies that's making him...
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have to have it this way and if it's not he cracks and then abuses his partner but i think honestly like until he gets help and he can stop acting like this i would say hey we're gonna do separate meals i'm gonna cook my meals you're gonna cook your meals and i think that is a great compromise that you brought up because at this point she can't do anything right and
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It's not good for your mental health to be told you suck and berated like this. It feels very just toxic and it's not healthy for him either. I mean, it's getting to a point where it's like, OK, this is his passion and whatever. But like if you're coming home after working full time and then you're in the kitchen for eight hours every night cooking. That's not fun.
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Yeah, I'm stressed. I'm going to be honest. I'm stressed. There's a lot of work stuff going on.
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And what if he refuses to do those simple meals? They're not up to his chef standards.
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Oh, and she really shouldn't. I think separate meals and him getting therapy is honestly the best solution here. Ideal outcome, I cook, but it doesn't have to be perfect. We start eating before 8 p.m. when he cooks. Additional info, my first option when I tell we are both tired is to offer to buy from any restaurant he wants.
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We both agree it gets expensive, but to me, I would rather spend $100 than have to hear that once again, my meal isn't good enough.
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I already ate, but like ordering factor or a meal service every week because I just wouldn't put up with this. I, I truly think this is abuse.
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Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So I honestly think therapy for him, maybe some couples therapy. But I think this might be a symptom. I don't know. I'd be very curious if he talks down to you in other areas of your life. And this isn't a nice way to talk to someone who's making a meal for you.
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I don't know. I think this guy needs to actually apply for a cooking show and go get his ass told off by Gordon Ramsey because that might be the best solution. Like knock him down a peg because Hey, Gordon wouldn't let you cook for five hours, buddy. You better speed it up.
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No, but keep us posted and let's get on to number two.
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Hey, FKS. My situation is a bit unorthodox, and I'm not sure if you can help me, but I feel like having an outside perspective from someone who doesn't know me personally might help. I, 28 female, have recently been wanting to get back into the dating game. For context, I have not been in a relationship for almost 10 years.
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When you can buy everything, what's the fun? And when you make that next achievement and you're able to save up and buy, you know?
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A whole lot of different situations. Okay. All right. Here we go. Here we go. All right. Number one. Number one. Hello all. I'm a long time listener, but first time writer. My 26 female boyfriend, 28 male, has a girl best friend who just came back for a month from another country. I have a good relationship with her, and both of them have a good friendship too.
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Like, hey, in the morning, guess I woke up, I get to experience another day. Ideal outcome isn't necessarily to get into a relationship, but to stop feeling insecure because I don't have one. I'm really happy with where my life is right now. It's just that I feel like I'm missing out on the romantic aspect of my life, which is
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At 18, you know, a lot of the relationships you have there and during that time are helping you learn what you like in a future partner and oftentimes don't work out. Some do. Some very much do. But really, if you force it, it's not going to be the same that if you just kind of keep doing your thing, live your life, and when the right person, the right moment, it all comes together...
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And nothing beats that. And usually it happens when you're not looking for it.
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And that's the best ever. It truly is. So patience, another big one to learn. I think we all learn that every single day, probably up until the end. Be patient. Yeah. It's a big one.
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Number three. It's a longer one here. We've got a long read here.
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I, 28 female, have been with my fiance, 29 male, for seven years, 11 months engaged. Prior to getting engaged, we talked about weddings and what we both wanted. For me, I wanted to elope and save the money we would spend on a wedding to go traveling or for a house deposit.
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For him, he wanted a wedding, not only for himself, but also for his family, mainly because it was what his grandparents wanted. So I was open to it. I didn't want to disappoint anyone and also understood that if my grandparents were still around and wanted to see me get married, I would make it happen for them. Fast forward to a few months ago, I brought up that we should start wedding planning.
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Even though the thought of it overwhelmed me, I knew that if we did it in small steps, it would make me feel less stressed. So I asked my fiance to talk to his family about what they expected from us for a wedding. That's where it all went downhill. The conversation did not go well. I was very overwhelmed afterward and it felt like I was having an out-of-body experience.
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To sum it up, we were expected to have a wedding with 200 guests. Half of the guests would be people I didn't know or have never met. It would be in five months time and his parents would take full control and plan and pay for everything and we would just be puppets. I felt horrible afterward. I thought agreeing to have a wedding meant at least I could do it the way I wanted.
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After that conversation, the guilt tripping started. Everyone was pressuring us to agree to what his parents wanted and questioning us on why we weren't making a decision. Nobody understood that behind the scenes, we were falling apart. I was stressed to the point I was crying every night and having panic attacks at just the thought of a wedding. It was taking a huge toll on our relationship.
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We were fighting every night and not coming to any resolution. No, that's not any fun. That's when I chose to listen to myself and my body. I told him we're not having a wedding, that I shouldn't be feeling this way. It shouldn't be this hard. I should at least feel excited or somewhat happy that at the end of it, I would be marrying my person. But I wasn't feeling any of that.
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Surprisingly, he understood. He could see the whole situation was putting me under so much stress and he didn't want that. We agreed together that we wouldn't have a wedding and we could revisit the idea later on if it was still something we wanted. But I said to him, even though this is what we want, I knew his parents wouldn't agree.
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They would still make us do something, whether it be having dinner with all their friends or planning a wedding themselves and making us just go so they could keep up their reputation. He told me he would go talk to his family and tell them that we weren't having a wedding. But he also said if they didn't agree with our decision, he would ultimately pick his family over me.
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Him saying that flicked a switch in me. An issue that we've had throughout our relationship was that I always felt like my opinion didn't matter and that I was always the one compromising. So when he said that, it confirmed all of it. My opinion truly doesn't matter. My heart was broken.
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I felt so stupid for wasting my time trusting that I was building a future with someone that I thought valued our relationship to the same level that I did, but he clearly didn't. At that moment, I was done. I switched off. He then put it back on me and said I would do the same if it was the other way around.
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He said I would pick my family over him, but I told him I wouldn't because at the end of the day, we were building a future together. We made the decision together to not have a wedding, and if my parents didn't respect that, then I would have to distance myself from them.
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after hearing that he changed his opinion he agreed with me but the damage was already done seven months later and i'm here we've been trying to work it out our day-to-day life has been good and he has been trying to make it up to me but i still feel stuck i'm no longer the person i was before all of this and i don't see our relationship in the same way i'll be honest i don't trust him anymore
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I always thought no matter what we go through as a couple, at the end of the day, we would have each other's backs. But this whole situation made me realize that wasn't the case. How can I trust that this won't happen again? How do I come back from having my heart broken? Do I break up with him and throw away seven years?
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Or do I let it go and hope that if we were in a similar situation, he would protect me and our relationship? Ideal outcome, I want advice on how to move forward, whether that be to continue in the relationship and try and work it out or break up.
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I trust my boyfriend wholeheartedly, and I know this girl BFF, let's call her D, also won't do anything to sabotage our relationship, so there's no fear there. My issue is with my insecurity. I grew up in a household that was extremely traditional. Muslim, not in America. So it was not normal for me growing up to see genuine girl and guy friendships.
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Yeah, I think that's a very normal experience for a lot of people is wanting to have your grandparents, if possible, at your wedding. I mean, it's the biggest day. But that's no reason to have a wedding that you're going to dread and feel like a puppet in. It's no reason for your partner's parents to take over and, like you said, hijack your life, essentially.
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To where behind the scenes, you guys are self-destructing. I mean, you're destructing as a couple. You're falling apart because of this. You're imploding. So there's a lot... to go through here and I'm just, it felt like we had a lot of info at the start and then we have kind of the biggest pieces felt like they went by real quick. And I'm so curious. I want more.
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I want to know when you ultimately convinced him for lack of a better term to see it your way, which I do believe is the correct way to see it.
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I want to know what the conversation was then. Did he then go to his parents and what happened with that? Have you seen them since? Has it changed the dynamics between you and his parents or even him and his parents? Because we're seven months later. I have to assume we've had some interaction, but yeah, I would have a very hard time
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Getting past that moment and it would replay in my head where he was like, yeah, I'd choose my parents and choose what they want. And then all of a sudden there's this flip like, oh no, you're right, I wouldn't. Because man, it's so tough.
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Well, I mean, he could have had a real change of heart. That is possible. He could also just be agreeing to save the relationship and keep things normal and not lose you. So the things that I start to think about then, if we get to the point where we're like, okay, we're going to do a wedding and we're doing it our goddamn way.
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Now that she's here for a few weeks, my boyfriend visits her every so often and they would have tea together. His work is in the same area where she lives, so he'd have a cup of tea with her. Her family is with her too. Due to my own limitations, it's difficult for me to go as often as he does.
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I am so curious to see what his parents and that dynamic is with you guys and them, him and them, because that's going to set the standard and maybe it's already been set for other big things in life. What's it going to look like when you guys have kids? or anything thereafter, when your kids have their first birthday party, when they graduate high school.
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I mean, this extends so far beyond just a wedding. We're setting a standard for, I mean, at least the rest of the parent's lifetime. And that's why these boundaries need to be set. But even before all that, you're right. It needs to be, is this my person?
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Yeah, time together and history together is never a reason to stay together.
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A hundred percent. It's going to be one or the other.
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It's not normal to see guy and girl friendships for me, which triggers my insecurities a lot, that he can do much better without me, someone who doesn't have limitations like I do. These limitations are related to my mobility and mental health. I feel insecure that I'm not wanted around and I'm not needed.
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Well, one thing you know for sure is that the distance would get you your answer pretty quick.
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But at the risk of potentially you miss them, you try to go back, it's not happening.
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That's why it makes me so curious what's happened since, because there's not really a great way to test if he's changed to where anything short of planning a full wedding, how do we know if it's changed and that the parents are going to take over and he's just going to be like, yep, parents take over. But what did change? Apparently he agreed.
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That may be the biggest statement of the whole thing.
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And this would be a great one at the right time to get an update from. And also, anyone else, if we've read your story, please go fill out our little update form. Link is in the description, at least on YouTube. I think it is on audio as well. Because we are doing a updates episode soon. And those are really fun. Okay. Because a lot of these, like this, end on a cliffhanger.
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And you're like, what happened? What's happening now? Where are we? And it's always fun to find out.
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We do have a trigger warning. Story does mention miscarriage. So now is your opportunity to skip. Okay. Hi, FKS. So I need some help on how to tell my Bible study group that I am pregnant. Backstory. I am from South Africa and married my husband in the U.S. We live in a rural area in Pennsylvania.
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I found a great new church that really made me feel welcomed in an area where people kept me at arm's length. I also joined a Bible study group with some amazing ladies in an effort to make new friends and foster a sense of community.
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Even though my boyfriend constantly reassures me and tries to include me wherever it's possible. I want to be able to move on from my insecurities and not feel triggered whenever he tells me he's going to hang out with her. I don't think it's about trust because I do trust him. There's an element of feeling left out.
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As I got to know them, I learned that one of the ladies had a late miscarriage very recently and another and her husband have been having a hard time getting pregnant. Now my question is, how do I share my happy news of being pregnant with them without hurting them in the process? How do I take their situations into consideration?
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With the horses? That's right. He's with the boys. Meeting the horses, I should say.
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Ideal outcome, sharing my happy news without hurting them in the process.
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Yeah, I guess it really takes knowing these people as you get to know them better of how you approach that.
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Yes. Well, and it goes back to the comparison discussion. But in this, yeah, I think it's definitely timing. It's being delicate. And yeah, I think you having this amazing thing happen, it's great. And it's not taking that away from them. it's just inevitably going to be compared internally to them.
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I have felt that a lot growing up and that my limitations are too much for a normal person. I've been with my boyfriend for over three years and I love him a lot. And I don't want that whenever he's meeting a good friend of his, especially if it's a girl, that I feel the need to be included every time. I want to feel okay with the friendship they have.
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If they're struggling with that and they see someone, like another person they know got pregnant, but that's not necessarily a fault of yours.
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Yeah. Well, and it seems like we're getting close in being open, if we already know this about the other members of this group. So, you know, it's big news. It just, it is timing and, you know, it depends on the people. And I think you'll know best how to approach whether you're acknowledging the fact of what has happened or not.
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It's a tough, very case-by-case one because this can be applied in so many different aspects of life. Oh, your friend just got fired, but you just got the best job ever. I know this is different, but I think telling people good news about your life that relates to something negative that they just experienced is always difficult.
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And it's just in the way you approach it, you'll be the best judge of how it'll be received.
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All right, number five. Got it. Hi, FKS family. I binged all of THT and listened to FKS all day at work. So there you are, Jerry. You're right there working right alongside. Perfect. I love your shows. Now on to my issue. I, 23 female, am going to grad school in September, and this will mean moving from California to Chicago for the program.
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My boyfriend, 25 male, has been very supportive as I haven't felt fulfilled in my current career. We've been together for almost three years and have lived together about two years. My boyfriend is from Chicago and misses his family, so that is partially why I chose to study there. We are debating between getting our own apartment in the city or living with his family while I'm in school.
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I've been to his house for a couple of holidays and have seen his parents when they visit us in California. His mother and sister are both very sweet, though I don't know his stepfather or brother very well. If we lived with them, we would not have to pay rent, which would be huge considering I can't work while I'm in the program.
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It has gotten better in the past three years, but it is still difficult. Any fatherly advice is much appreciated. Thank you.
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Although his family is very warm, I am nervous about potential conflict that may arise through living with them. Also, I feel that moving in with his family will negatively impact our sex life. We already have communication issues in the bedroom and having a bedroom right next to his parents will not help. I haven't been able to orgasm with him and it's been very frustrating for both of us.
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He used to try for so long until I told him we could just do something else. It was always awkward and I hated seeing him so sad. He thinks I'm not pleased in the bedroom, but I still have a very good time, even without the orgasm. I've told him this, but I don't think he believes me. Now he'll half-heartedly try to please me or just skip that altogether.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
I try to tell him what I like, but he will get frustrated. We try toys, but he gets kind of offended and we can't use them if staying with his family. So I guess I have two questions. One, should we move in with his family to save money? Two, how can we improve our sex life? I haven't been able to discuss this with any friends of mine as I don't want to embarrass him.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Any advice you have is really appreciated. So let's start with number one. Okay.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Yeah. I mean, I would say porn is probably the worst version of education you could get with any of that.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Yeah. These issues are separate, but they're also intertwined. They are, because it probably will only get harder for you guys to sort out the bedroom stuff while in the family home. It's not going to be... as easy and comfortable to start exploring and figuring all that out.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
I think he is dealing with some insecurities regarding that, even though you're saying, hey, no, I'm totally happy in this relationship and this is all great. But he's taking it so personally as if he's failing and might think, oh, well, I can't be the one to do it so someone else might have to be. But in reality, I think a sex therapist is a great idea.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
They're not always in person like you see in the movies. They're also virtual. Speaking of which, we have so many different write-ins that pertain to problems in the bedroom or just sexually disconnecting, all sorts of different things. So we are working on having a sex therapist actually come on the show. And I think that would be really awesome.
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164: Father Knows: Insecurity
That can help personalize it to you versus some generalized stuff online. Ideal outcome here is for us to figure out a living situation that is affordable and allows us to explore in the bedroom. So I think it is obviously best case scenario if you can find your own spot, if it makes sense for you. I mean, don't put yourself into super crazy debt just because you have to do that, but
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Oh, and there's also the option if you want to take some time to find the right spot, you can move in to his family's place temporarily. There's always that option. So yeah, it's a multifaceted one.
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164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Additional info. I can't ask my family for help with paying tuition or rent. My mom is very financially well off, but has held financial support over my head many times in the past. I will be paying for school with loans and have some savings, but I don't want to blow it all on rent. I also have a strange libido where I don't really feel sexual unless I've smoked weed or had a glass of wine.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
My partner has expressed concern over this. I've ordered libido supplements as I don't like feeling like I need substances to channel that energy either. So a lot to tackle here. Probably best with some sort of therapist.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Yeah. Yeah, but- But not- It's the bedroom next door, Jerry. Right next door. Share us a wall.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
You know, there's a lot of exciting things happening. You know, we're going to Chicago. It's an amazing city. You can have a good time. So I hope you guys can sort it out. And hey, if you end up at the family house, then just tell everyone, hey, our sex therapist is coming by. You guys got to go.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Yeah, it is. It's the grand finale. I've been listening to a lot of your episodes I've missed lately because it seems to be the only thing that makes me feel okay.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
I found out this week my contract at the school I taught at this year won't be renewed for next year. They had their reasons and some of them I don't agree with, but it feels so unfair that they didn't offer a plan of improvement. This is only my second year and first year at this school.
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There was a lot of protocol to learn and content I didn't have experience with that I didn't master as fast as administrators expected. My heart is shattered. I've had a horrible pit in my stomach all week, and I've dreaded going to work every day since I found out. I already decided to make a career switch at the end of the school year, but I'm struggling to stay positive.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Some words of advice or affirmation would help. Ideal outcome, to feel okay again.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Yeah. Well, the thing is, these administrators, these people just simply didn't appreciate you. I don't think they fully saw you for who you are.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Well, and a lot of times things that feel like failure aren't failure because of your doing. They're failure because of someone else's lack of appreciation for you or lack of understanding of you. And you just got to keep going. And I know you've said career change here.
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Wherever it takes you, you just got to keep going until you find that person, that company, that group of people that appreciate you and see you for you. Because clearly, whatever organization this was, didn't. And that's not necessarily something that's wrong with you. It just means it wasn't the right fit.
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It's tough and it eats away at you, especially when you feel like you've been burned and it's so hard to move past, but you realize eventually that those feelings do subside and then you almost are upset with yourself for being so upset about it because it takes so much energy to be upset. And it's kind of time. And I love that you're starting to put a plan in place.
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Show up, do your work, realize that they're not loyal to you, whatever. Move on and you're going to look forward. And I feel that whatever happens when you finish out this year or move forward, you're going to look back and be like, thank God that happened because I have found my favorite job. I found my new passion.
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Maybe it pushes you to pursue that hobby that should be a career and it's a life change. It happened for Morgan. and look where we're all at. So I think this is a really good thing. It feels bad. It looks bad right now, but I think it'll be a very positive shift for you.
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And the low points make the highs so much higher. Okay.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Well, and what goes along with that too, I think, is sometimes you catch on to things and you can find out someone's cheating and generally you'll know it or you'll be shocked by it. Sometimes you don't. But the reality of it is, If someone's going to cheat, they're going to cheat. Absolutely. You can't control whether or not they're going to cheat.
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164: Father Knows: Insecurity
So you trust someone until they give you a reason not to. And the reality is it kind of takes all that pressure off and maybe removes some of those insecurities, which I know we're not talking about trust here, but this is just kind of where my mind went first. is when you're having some of those doubts and worries, I mean, the reality is we all fear our partner cheating.
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That's something we are scared of and hope never happens. But when you trust someone and you just kind of let that fear not play a role in your relationship, and you can get to a point where you realize, hey... If they're going to do it, they're going to do it. And I just have to deal with it at that point. Or they never do it and you work out for them.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Right. And so that's one side of this. The other side is just simply maybe it's a fear of missing out. Maybe it's a fear of being left out or not being able to do as much as he and other people are able to go do. But really it's... You know, that might be something to address in therapy as you're really good at recognizing you have these insecurities.
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164: Father Knows: Insecurity
You're not letting them take over you and have you almost self-destruct or take down or affect your relationship with him over it. You're just saying, this is how I'm feeling, and I'm trying to figure out a way to deal with it.
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And that may be a little above our pay grade, just in the sense that we don't know you on a deep level to help start rearranging those wires in your mind so that it doesn't affect you this way. So maybe therapy could help in that sense.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Yeah. Well, because that's the other piece of this too is feeling like you're not good enough for him. I mean, you're over three years in and he's showing you, he loves you, he includes you. So at other, the other side of it is recognizing what you do have instead of worrying about what they might be thinking.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
It's, you know, take action over what you're maybe creating in your mind that could help reframe a little bit.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Ideal outcome to not have these insecurities bothering me like they do right now. So yeah, I mean, you said it's gotten better over the last three years. I'm sure it'll continue to get better. Therapy can definitely help. And I just keep doing what you're doing.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Sleepy guy over here. He's just mellow, isn't he? Chilling. Just chill. Good energy over here.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Okay. Let's go. Number two. Yes, sir. I'm 18 and I have a big group of friends from high school. It occurred to me the other day that out of all the friends in our group, I'm the one who's still single. This really bothered me for some reason because I feel like I'm late to the game because I've never had a boyfriend before.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
This insecurity really affects me when I'm on Instagram or TikTok and see some other girls in a new relationship and posting TikTok trends with her boyfriend. It makes me feel really jealous, not because I want their man or anything, but because I just wish I had someone to do dumb TikTok trends with.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
I know I only want a relationship because everyone else is in one, so how do I get rid of this insecurity? Rationally, I know it won't go away even if I did get into a relationship because I just feel insecure about other things, but I can't help wondering, am I just unlovable or something? Will I ever experience the romantic stuff all my friends get?
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Thanks so much for reading my dumb teenage struggles. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
What I do remember about being 18 is I remember all these feelings and, you know, yes, the insecurity when all your friends maybe are paired up and you're the solo one or the reverse happens when you're the only one in a relationship and all your friends are single out having fun, doing everything.
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164: Father Knows: Insecurity
It's always greener. But it reminds me of the famous quote that comparison is the thief of joy.
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I think it. I think it's like Teddy Roosevelt or something. But really what that stands for is we can all go out and compare. Someone's always going to be better at something we're good at. Someone's always going to have a more successful business, more successful career, a nicer car. More money.
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164: Father Knows: Insecurity
There is, but it gets to a point where it helps frame things because everyone else is just players in the same game that we're all in. We're all just kind of moving through the game of life, finding our own way. And really, I think a big thing at 18 that then you kind of learn through your 20s is how to start working through those insecurities and figuring out who you are and-
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Good to have him. It is. Are you curious about our theme by chance?
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164: Father Knows: Insecurity
And kind of the whole essence of who you want to be and how you want to live your life. Because really, it almost ties into the other story where we were saying, you know, kind of focus on what you do have. Because you know how we keep saying someone else has something better? Trust me. They have their problems.
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164: Father Knows: Insecurity
There's someone that has it worse, and there's someone that has it worse, worse, and there's someone that has it way worse. So, you know, take a step back and kind of look at your life and think, what do I have? Yeah, maybe you're the only one in the group who isn't in a relationship. But it's maybe not your time to be in a relationship.
Father Knows Something
164: Father Knows: Insecurity
Yes, it's all a matter of perspective because I think this is something we all learn as we go throughout life because we all want certain things. We have certain aspirations and motivations and we look up to the people that already have those. And we almost admire and put people that already have those on this pedestal of this achievement that we hope to get to, which is good.
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164: Father Knows: Insecurity
It's good to be motivated. But really, when you start comparing, it never really ends up making you feel better.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
There you go. Very good. Nice use of the words and metaphors. Very poetic.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Number three. How do I get my mother-in-law to stop giving unwarranted and unwanted input? I, 26 female, and my husband, 27 male, have been married for a bit over a year, and we've been together for about over four years. My mother-in-law gives her input on me and our lives more than I would like, and I don't know how to talk about it with her. Ignoring her comments doesn't seem to be a solution.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
The most recent was she had an online pampered chef party. She sent a Facebook page invite that I kind of ignored, then later messaged me directly the website link, and I ignored that as well because I hate these kinds of sales and didn't want to get involved. I understand I should have just told her to send it to her son instead of avoiding it.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
She later sent the link to the group chat of the three of us. I told my husband to order something or tell her no thanks because I do not like people in my personal life trying to sell me stuff like that. He told her an item he kind of wanted that they had growing up and she had noted we could have one of her 50% off seller discount items.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
In the message string, she noted, I just want to help you guys out with your kitchen. His parents have not come to where we live, two and a half hour drive, In the entire time we have been together. We bought a house five months ago, and they have come to the town to visit quite a few times, but for medical trips.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
I understand medical and leisure are different, but they can make Costco trips whenever they want. This comment bothered me because she doesn't know what our kitchen looks like and the supplies we have, and it feels like she thinks she's so much better than us.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
I told my husband that the comment bothered me and that I understand she probably just likes the products and that there wasn't any ill intent. The last time we visited, she gave me an acne cream from a different multi-market level scheme thing she's a part of. The day before our wedding, she told my husband that my face really looked rough and gave some acne advice.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
He did tell her how rude that was and she gave the, I'm just trying to help. I had gone to a doctor and had a prescription and recommended routine I'd been working on. Weddings are stressful and I tend to be acne prone. I'm also aware of when I have acne on my face. Do people like this really not realize what they're saying is offensive, or do they just not care?
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Do I take everything she says with a grain of salt, or do I tell her no thanks for her advice? His parents don't make any effort to come visit, and when we visit a handful of times a year, do I just let them be and I keep living my life? Do I make comments back when she makes these kinds of comments and continue ignoring them? Well...
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Yeah, I think that's a great way to approach it. Do you feel like it blinds them to the potential offense they could cause others with their comments when they're seeing it so as, oh, you know, I just think you guys could use some help with your kitchen.
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156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
But is that... But they're not... So you don't feel that she's consciously being like, wow, their kitchen sucks. I really need to help them. You think it's all out of this little selling technique. I do believe that. But then do you also believe that when she says that her face really looked rough?
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Yeah. Well, and I think what you're saying earlier about the setting the boundary, what you started with, I think if you're concerned at all that, Maybe this is all due to the marketing schemes or maybe a little bit she doesn't like me. I think when you set the boundary though, because we don't have the full context of every part of this. We have little snapshots.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
But I think if those are both playing in your mind, setting this boundary and kind of shutting down this marketing side of things, the way she responds to it and the way things happen going forward, I think will really reveal that. if it is all in that eggs are all in that one basket, or if there's some issues between, I just think everything you started with,
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Number one. Number one. Hi, Jerry, Morgan, Justin. First off, I just wanted to say that I've been a fan of the pod since day one. And I'm so happy to be here and to see you fall in love with the pod and the care you put into this community. We do love our community. We do. Now on to my issue. I, 24 female, have been married to my husband, 24 male, for two years.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
will put you on a path that then you can start making more intricate decisions moving forward and if there's other boundaries needed because the ideal outcome have mother-in-law not make uninformed offensive comments or gestures so let's figure out if that is just so due to being in the sales mind and not being able to shut it off or if there's some other issues to work through as well yeah
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
But Jerry, for you, you know, I may be able to do 75% off. Yeah. I may be able to get it up there just because of our relationship.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Hopefully this isn't too long-winded, but the issue is with my dad. We have never had a good relationship. It's always been strained, and I've just come to terms with that. He has always had a great relationship with my brothers, but I've often been pushed to the sidelines with him. Fast forward to the present day. I'm married and now have a baby. She's eight months old.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
When I got pregnant, I told my husband I was worried that now that I have something that could benefit him or make him look good, he would want to come around me more. That did in fact end up happening. I brushed it off and let him be around more and he met her when she was about a month old. Fast forward a little more to when she is about four months old.
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156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
He came to town to visit a niece of mine that was born and I asked him if he had talked to my mom recently. They had been divorced since I was seven. I am strictly no contact with her. I haven't spoken to her in almost two years and he knows this and knows the reasoning behind the no contact. This is important. He said he hasn't talked to her and that she's more drama than it's worth.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
I agreed and we moved on from the subject. The next night, I was checking my sister's location and noticed my dad's location was in the area my mom lived. I took a closer look, and he was at her house. I called him to ask about it, and I asked where he is, and he said, quote, oh, I'm at your brother's place.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
He was going to be staying there that night, so gave him the benefit of the doubt that he wasn't straight up lying to me. We talk a bit more and I ask again, so you're at his house right now? He said, yeah, and quickly changed the subject.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
I hang up and text him that I have his location and that he completely betrayed my trust by lying to me not only once but twice and that he knows how strongly I feel about my mom. Now I'm aware he is allowed to have a relationship with her if he wants, but it irked me because he had recent pictures of my child and I don't trust that he wasn't showing her them.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
He claims he never even went inside, but I know that's not true. Anyway, now he's moving closer and said he wants to come around more. I have a hard time being okay with that and don't know if I'm being dramatic, not wanting him in my daughter's life, at least right now, because he's broken my trust completely.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
We've been together since high school. He is one of four boys and his mom has typical boy-mom tendencies. However, my issue lies in how to address my in-laws. At my bridal shower almost three years ago, I was sitting with my then future mother-in-law and an aunt from my husband's side of the family.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Ideal outcome, I would like to find a way to tell him how he can earn my trust back, but I'm honestly at a loss for that.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Right. Yeah. Yeah, we really have an issue of trust overall here because like you said, if he was able to have a relationship with the mom, be clear about it, up front to her and say, hey, you know what? I have been X, Y, Z with mom, whatever. But I will hold true to you that I will not share anything about you. I will not talk about anything. I'm not going to show any pictures.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
If you actually had that trust with him, That would be a different story. The thing we have here is he's obviously lying about being around her, interacting with her. And even if he were to say, yeah, I'm not going to share anything about you. I'm not going to show pictures. You already can't trust him as it is. So I think you are justified.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Now, how do we find a way to tell him how he can earn the trust back? even though we're kind of, it seemed impossible. Is there anything that stands out to you that's how we could even begin down the path of repair?
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Yeah, I mean, I guess it's all about the feeling of it. If you get to a point where you want to give him – another chance to come hang out and see what happens and you don't hear anything from mom or anyone related to mom that's now like making it obvious that he's spreading information or showing pictures and things, then you could give it a shot.
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156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
We were making small talk when my husband's aunt asked if I would call my mother-in-law mom after the wedding. Mother-in-law laughed and instantly said no and repeated it when the aunt asked again, thinking she was joking. When it seemed clear to us both that she was serious, we made awkward eye contact and I sat there quietly.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
But it's really going to be your gut feeling as to, okay, this feels different. Him and I are a lot more connected. He's being open and honest about things. And I do feel that he isn't crossing this boundary. That's where you could start to get back to something healthy. But for right now, because this is so fresh and because it was so blatantly an obvious lie, It's going to take some time.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
It's going to be hard to get there. So I just think it's kind of a gut feeling. We have a little additional info. We have also told him in the past, no posting any pictures of my child anywhere. He said, okay. And a few days later, he posted a picture of her on our family Facebook page. This page has a lot of people. I have zero idea who they are.
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156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
And he said he just had to, and it was only to family. Shut him down. He still has not apologized for that either. Also with the main issue, he did admit he would have never told the truth about being at my mom's unless I called him out for it. So we have a giant hole to climb out of.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Okay, number five. I'm ready to go. Hello, family. I have a 10-year-long white lie I've been living, and I'm not sure if I should keep it up or figure out a way to break the news. I'm allergic to saltwater. It's called saline-dependent aquagenic urticaria. If I use Epsom salts, bath bombs, or swim in the ocean, I will get a rash. It is painful and can last for days, a week if I really ignore it.
Father Knows Something
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Like the time I was on vacation and decided to swim in the ocean a few times. I can even get tummy problems. I've known of this allergy for a long time with my first bath with Epsom salt being at the age of five. I have a reaction every time, but sometimes rinsing immediately after can help the after effects. But it's still not comfortable for me during the exposure.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
I got a formal diagnosis when I was 13, along with a general uticaria diagnosis. I really hope I'm saying that right. I just have really sensitive skin. So here comes the lie. My husband and I have been together for a decade. He has always known of my allergy, but clearly did not inform any of his family members.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
So our first Christmas together, his family gifted me with bath bombs and Epsom salts. This is quite literally all I got from them. Now I could have spoke up right there, but I'm the type of person that believes it's the thought that counts. So, though I couldn't use the products, I smiled graciously, said thank you, and eventually re-gifted them to other people. Well, fast forward a decade.
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That continues to be the go-to gift for me every year for every occasion. I feel like it's gone on for so long now, I can't bear to tell them that all this time I have been unable to utilize their gifts or that I've been giving away their gifts. But I also feel slightly frustrated that my husband didn't say anything to them from the get-go. Ideal outcome, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Father Knows Something
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It really hurt my feelings at the time, especially being the first daughter-in-law and the fact that I was embarrassed at my own bridal shower. It has obviously been some time since then, but mother-in-law occasionally refers to father-in-law and goes, dad, I mean, Mr. F or whatever, when I'm around. I can't help but feel this is pointed and targeted at me each time.
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And regardless of the outcome, I want everyone to know how grateful I am. This is an easy one.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Okay, so let's address probably what's the bigger issue here. Okay. And I'm going to use the additional info to elaborate on it. I feel like my husband has had many opportunities to suggest other gifts or lead them in a different direction. Like when someone says, what does she like? Or I'm going to this store that specifically sells bath bombs. but he doesn't seem to perk up at that moment.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Sometimes it can be hard to have certain conversations with in-laws, and so part of me does feel like it's more his responsibility. But recently, just before Christmas, we had had a convo about this again. He said, how about I tell them it's a new allergy? I think it's not a horrible idea. I knew with only weeks to Christmas that they probably already purchased all their gifts.
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With such short notice, I didn't want anyone to feel stressed that whatever they got me will no longer work.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
That's fine. I mean, at this point, sure, you can bring it up. But wouldn't you just think if people kept getting Morgan something she hated and it happened two years in a row, don't you think the common sense thing that I would do as her partner would be like, hey, guys, by the way, this is a little awkward, but she really doesn't like this stuff. Like, let's find some other things.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Don't you think as someone's partner you would do that? You know, something you...
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
I totally agree with you. I think she can definitely do it at this point. I just would also like to add along in there a question to husband and be like, So why didn't you do this? Like, we have a great solution, yes. We all agree on how we're moving forward and how this is a non-issue going forward. But I'd just like to know, like, why?
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156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
And set the standard for the future. Because this could come up in many different aspects of life.
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Am I reading too much into this? How should I proceed? I don't have many friends my husband tries to mediate, but it's hard when it's family. Thanks again. Love you all.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Well, no, not that, but more just, hey, let's have each other's back a little bit in this life.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Yeah. I think you have a little both where it's like, Hey, going forward, if you ever just randomly hear that something's happening that I went like, maybe you could mention it, but also I'm very capable of also handling it on my own, but I would just like to feel like we're out there together.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
What do you got today for me, Mr. Justin? Well, nothing, actually. We're just going to sit.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Okay. Number six, your favorite. Hello, Jerry, Morgan, Justin, and whatever special guest happens to be on the episode. There may be someone right here, but we can't see them. Holly's ghost. Simply put, my parents got two new dogs and well, I hate them. I live with my parents, and while my mom is retired, it feels like most of the work is put on me. I am normally great with dogs.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
I dog sit for family friends almost once a month, but I can't stand these two. My parents have been wanting a dog for a while, so this wasn't a surprise, but the way they described it was wanting a small, chill lap dog. What they got was two energetic puppies. Allegedly, the puppies were crate trained, Not so much.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
The first night, my dad tried to put them in the crate only to have them shake until one peed on the floor. I've told them two might be overwhelming and maybe we should give one back. The rescue we got them from said they would take them back anytime if needed and they're also not a kill shelter so I don't see any harm in returning one.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
However, pointing that out only got me an earful about it not being fair to them. Keep in mind, both my parents have had knee surgery and have told me that I have to train them because quote, dogs love me. Despite my constant protest that training one dog will be easier. I'm not comfortable in my home. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells for fear of them barking or snapping at me.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Ideal outcome, convincing my parents to give at least one of the dogs back or at least not feeling like an outsider in my own home.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Right, because I guess the flip would be, I'm living at the condo. You don't really want a pet right now, but I'm like, Jerry, I'm getting a dog. I bring a dog, dog's living in your home and I put all the duties on you. You have to feed, walk, water. That's essentially what we're looking at, right? Is if you don't do it, well, the dog's gonna suffer because I'm not doing anything really.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
So in that dynamic, yes, you could pick up and leave, but if that's outside the capabilities and doesn't make sense financially, we need to set a boundary in a home that yes, is not ours. But I mean, we had these conversations before and, you know, a chill lapdog is what we're expecting. Now we have two puppies and I'm expected to put all my time out doing this. How do we find a solution?
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Right, because our additional info, I can't just leave everything on them. My mom has depression and gets frustrated to the point of giving herself a migraine. And I know the dogs will only get worse if I leave her to yell at them. It just seems like it's really hard because I've seen this happen a few times where people who really should not- Have animals. Yes.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
End up getting them for whatever reason. We saw this a lot in COVID with people getting all these dogs as companions and all these pets, and then they're back to work. And the dogs sit inside a crate all day because people, A, were not-
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
naturally born pet owners to begin with and now their needs have changed and so the dog gets you know neglected or whatever pet it may be so when you have people who really shouldn't have pets and don't have the capability to have them getting them and then the responsibilities fall on other people it's just like when does it all fall apart
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
I mean, it's kind of, you just, it's, this one's so multifaceted. You kind of need to make a move. like that, set your boundary, if you will, and then see what the response is. And then you take your next chest piece and move. I mean, it's almost like on this one, we need an update to then continue the whole thing and then go from there. But at this point in time, it's,
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Yeah, you got to really make it clear. Here's the situation. And if they don't get it, you just got to really enforce whatever boundary. That's it.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
The last thing I think to bring up here for our writer is is something called litter mate syndrome. Yes. Which there can be certain issues that arise when you have two puppies at once. I don't know how universal and how this applies in every case. I've never had two puppies at once, but going off of a quick search, it's a set of behavioral issues that can occur when two dogs are raised together.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
These issues can include separation, anxiety, aggression, fear of new people, places, just as maybe something legitimate that you can add to all these reasons why maybe not two dogs at once for you guys is the best choice here.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Yeah. I mean, this one really is going to be multistage. So this one and all the others, please give us updates. Let us know what happened. If you took our rambling as some sort of advice or you did something different, but let us know how these all turn out because we're always sitting on the edge of our seat waiting to hear.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Yes. And add all of your advice, please, because we are no experts here. And that's what we have.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Yeah. Ideal outcome here, I won't force someone to pretend to like me, but I feel like I'm being pushed into the bad guy position for referring to them as Mr. and Mrs. F. I want to feel confident in my decision to leave things as they are or address them. Some additional info, one of my brother-in-laws has gotten married and another has recently gotten engaged.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
At my sister-in-law's bridal shower, mother-in-law gave her a card that said, you can call me mom. It was a really emotional moment between them and that really stung. Now that I have another soon-to-be sister-in-law, I can't help but feel the issue will come up again and it hurts." I thought mother-in-law was relatively close, but this is a sticking point for me.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Yeah. Well, and the ideal outcome, I want to feel confident in my decision to leave things as they are or address them. And that's what you should do if you feel compelled to address them at a given time. If the pattern continues and nothing ever changes and you feel you want to address it, then go ahead and address it.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Like, what's up? Yeah, but also then if you want to just leave things as they are and focus on you and your husband and whatever the interaction is with the in-laws, see how it evolves over time. But like you said, be you. And if you feel like you want to address it at some point, go for it.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Yeah, if you get there. I mean, it's hard when you're comparing also how you see a different person's being treated in a similar situation. And yeah, I mean, maybe when I was a kid, I had certain friends refer to my parents as Mr. This and Mrs. This, and they were very polite, very proper, that kind of thing. But
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
And I feel like I don't even really hear that these days when you're on a personal relationship with somebody. I get it's different in professional setting, but it just feels so weird. I don't know. It would be the weirdest thing in the world to be like, how are you today, Mr. Siegel?
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Yeah, exactly. That's just how it is. It's not necessarily rude these days.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Just fill it out. Okay. Okay. On to number two. Hi, Jerry, Morgan, and Justin. I've been a listener to this show and THT since the beginning. I wanted some advice regarding my husband. I honestly don't know if I'm in the right or wrong. My husband, 25 male, and I, 25 female, have been married for seven months. He is a veteran that gets a monthly paycheck every month.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
We are doing great as far as bills go, but we are drowning in debt due to our recent move from Tennessee to Florida. He hasn't been working since July. It is now January, and I haven't said much. I work a full-time, work-from-home job with an insurance company. Starting in October, he enrolled in school to be a marine mechanic. He goes to school from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. during the week.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
He usually comes home and plays video games. I wanted him to get a job to help pay off the debt, but it seems as if he's just fighting it. I'm exhausted. I feel like his mother when I'm constantly nagging him about following up with places, applying, etc. I worry if I'm asking too much. Please, please tell me if I'm in the wrong. I love my husband, but I'm exhausted.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
We just keep taking. It just makes it feel more official. Oh. And then we could put the episode number on there.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Yeah, right. And I get going to school and all that can be tiring, but the situation here is we are in this supposedly as a team, at least that's what we signed up for. And now that we're married, now that we're building this life, I need help. And going to school for four hours and then taking the rest of the day off Isn't really fitting into that dynamic well, especially ideal outcome.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
My husband to get a job since he has all day free. I already have a full-time job. So you get off school, done at 10, do whatever for a little bit, go to work at noon, work until six, seven, eight, whatever it is, get home, relax for a little bit, go to bed. That doesn't sound like the end of the world if that's an absolute necessity for what you guys need right now.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Additional info, other than this and some arguments about chores, he's a perfect husband. So yeah, he's perfect, but we have a huge flaw here. And the thing is, like you were saying earlier, if this crack in this relationship doesn't get sorted out and you guys can't come together and have him jump on board as part of the solution, then he will be far from the perfect husband.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Very good. All right. Well, this leads perfectly into our theme, or really not at all.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
And we hear that so much in so many write-ins is, this person is perfect. The love of my life, but... And then they always try to minimize this but down to this little thing. This but? It's great, but this.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
That's great. And then the crack gets bigger and bigger and bigger. But... You really got to look at it as here's how things are now. Here's where we need to get to. Are you going to be on part of this with me or not? Because that's ultimately what we're looking at here is are you guys going to be the right team?
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Well, and the thing too, on his end, like, sure, yeah, you get a monthly paycheck every month, but clearly it's not enough. That's great. That helps. But get the paycheck, go to school to hopefully earn even more money in the future. Do your thing. But also, we need something more right now.
Father Knows Something
156: Father Knows: Family or Foe?
Family or foe. Family or foe. Ooh. Or both. A family foe.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Longtime listener of this show and an OG listener of THT.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
But this is my first write-in. This is something I've been holding onto with no one to talk to about it, seeing as how it isn't my secret to share, so this felt like a safe place. Okay. This story will require a trigger warning for essay. My boyfriend and I, both early 30s, have been together for a number of years now.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
There is a particular relative that my partner goes to great lengths to avoid being around, and when I asked, he wouldn't share why. I didn't ask too often, wanting him to tell me in his own time. After a couple of years, he revealed to me that this relative was inappropriate with him as a child. While he did share some details with me, I won't be divulging them here.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
I am one of two people on the planet that is aware of this. For a long time, this person didn't come around, but now that they are married and have children of their own, they have begun attending more family functions, often showing up unannounced. You can see where this poses a problem.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
My partner is good with keeping a brave face and pretending nothing is wrong, and I do my best to act as a buffer between them. Here is where I need help. This person is someone that is very close to my boyfriend's parents. However, they do not know what crimes were committed against their child by this person. My boyfriend says that he will tell them someday, but that he doesn't know when."
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
He is concerned with what the outcome will be and blowing up the family. He has expressed that he doesn't want to feel responsible for whatever might happen to that person if everyone were to find out. And while he has never told me this, I feel that maybe he is worried that he will not be believed.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
I don't want to push him into doing something he is not ready for or is uncomfortable with, but I am tired of watching the person I love suffer on what should be happy days." It makes me sad and angry that the person I love leaves holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries early because he has to relive trauma in being around this relative.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
My husband and I have been together for 13 years and have been married for seven. We have two kids now and every year we have traveled home for the holidays. We have made it very clear that once our kids understood what Santa slash Christmas, etc. were, that we were no longer going to be driving home for the holidays.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
We spent Thanksgiving with my family, but with Christmas right around the corner, this has been on my mind as we will be seeing both sides of the family. He deserves the world, and I know his parents well enough to be confident that they would rally around him.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
I don't know how to make him feel the same, and for him to understand that whatever the outcome may be, he holds no responsibility for the actions of someone else. Ideal outcome, my partner gets to enjoy his time with family without anxiety and that I can continue to support him and help him grow through his trauma.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Additional info, I've never outright told him that he should share this information. I've only ever asked if he plans to.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Absolutely. That's all great if he comes to the point where he would like to share that information.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
And I think right now, as the person writing in, you are doing everything perfectly. You're being there for him in times where you feel the need to. You act as a buffer. Mm-hmm. And at points, yeah, he has to leave. And I'm sure it's incredibly frustrating and angering to always have to face this and know what it does to your boyfriend every time it happens. Mm-hmm.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
But I will say at the same time, if your boyfriend wants to show up, for instance, this Christmas with family, knowing that this other family member might show up, if he wants to still go and be there, and he's still not ready to tell anyone else, then your best situation, the best thing you can do is go with him and keep doing what you've been doing as much as that is painful for you.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
We have decided to celebrate two weeks before and are hosting a family dinner for both of our families in our hometown. I am not changing my mind about this. My kids deserve to celebrate the magic of Christmas at home.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
That's kind of the best position to take, I think is exactly what you're doing. How you say, I can continue to support him and help him grow through this trauma. Then when he is ready, Stand by his side. Well, of course. But then maybe that's when it'll start. Hopefully things will start to change for the better regarding any family gatherings going forward. But you kind of have to just...
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
stay doing what you're doing until he comes to that place on his own. This is all his lead.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
We only have a small window of time where they will believe in the magic of Christmas, and I really don't want to deal with the drama or guilt trip of us not coming home for the holidays. How do I change the conversation if it comes up so it doesn't start a fight, or do I continue to explain myself?
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
This is a very interesting one that I don't think we've ever had anything similar because usually this type of write-in is my partner doesn't want kids and I do. My partner isn't interested in sex, but I'm very sexual. These big relationship things You know, so many of them that aren't these big pillars of relationship, we always kind of, it seems like you can get through it.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Like, all right, well, your partner can go fishing and you can go do X and you'll just, whatever. You guys don't have to be obsessed with each other's hobbies. But this... sits somewhere in between. So it's very interesting. And it may be big enough actually to consider a future with this person.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Because if it's that important with you, it feels really sad that you'd then go be looking at the lights by yourself. You'd be wrapping gifts by yourself. You'd be doing the tree and he's just like Scrooge Grinch over there, just wants nothing part of it. And if that's a really big thing for you, it's not necessarily one day.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
It really has become, you know, for a lot of people now pre-Thanksgiving all the way through the end of the year. I mean, we're talking maybe a 10th of the year. It's 10% of the year now. It feels like the holidays and the spirit and everything. So we're not just talking about a day. That's right.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
And if you don't want to deal with that year after year after year, and it's probably going to get worse. it's going to get worse to where he's not necessarily even going to tolerate it. It's going to be like, all right, I'm going off to Mexico for the week. I'm going to go sit on a beach. You guys have fun. I mean, where does this lead? And if it's that important to you, then it's just like,
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
No tree in the house, Jerry. No tree. Very strict.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Yeah. Yeah. It's very, it'd be very tough to deal with.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Cutteth a tree out of the forest. I did that, by the way.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
I'm sure it was long gone. I'm going to start using the word cutteth. Cutteth. I'm going to get my hair cutteth.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Okay. A little flipping it on, flipping it there. The turns of tabled. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
And also, would you leave over this? Like, are we crazy sitting here saying it's a deal breaker? No.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Yeah, and the more that you do that, the easier it gets. Especially year after year. And how much you interact when it's not just once a year. I think that's a big piece too. The more you can develop a relationship outside of Oh, we'll see you next year at Christmas. See you next week. It puts so much weight on that one day that yeah, it'd be pressure for anybody.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Even like if any of us didn't see each other for a year and we met every year on one day, it'd be like, today's the day and instead of you know fearing being judged on how you are that one day if you have other interactions throughout the year and then you just happen to be quiet on one Christmas it's not gonna be like she hates us doesn't want to talk to us just doesn't want to be here it's
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
oh, you know, maybe they're just feeling a certain way today or they're just off because you have so much more to pull from. So I think that might help alleviate these really big, scary days. But also at the same time, It is nerve-wracking the first time, the first few times. But the more you open up and get to know people, the easier it becomes.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Because then you just sit down and it's like, well, so how's blah, blah, blah going? I know the last time I saw you, you're working on X. And it's just smooth. I get being an introvert.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
I think with that too, a good thing to practice is being very good at asking questions. And then as you ask questions, listen to their response and keep asking follow-ups. One of my first ones, but I don't know somebody. So what do you do? Then they say, oh, I'm, and I know nothing about it, which is even better for me if I don't know about their field. Because then I just keep asking questions.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Oh, how'd you get into that? Is that because of where you're from? Oh, so how did you end up? And you just keep asking. And if you keep someone talking, generally they'll leave the conversation thinking you're just the coolest person because they feel like all they did was talk about themselves and you just kept asking questions and keeping them talking.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
It's a very good strategy and it takes some pressure off you because then you're not forced to continually come up with topics. You're just continuing question, question, listen, question. And it works pretty well. Also, I'm very familiar with feeling like the black sheep.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
in being a shy kid, any new grade, any new school, any new class, if I didn't have a friend in that class, I always felt like the one on the outside. And I've found throughout life that it turns out 90% of that or even more is all in your head. And the more you feed into feeling like the black sheep, the more you actually become it.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Which leads back to how you started off and how you walk in and set that tone.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Yeah. I'm curious how interactions are outside of the holidays. If this is a pretty normal situation for birthdays or any other holiday. I can't imagine it to be different. Yeah, I mean, I know we're very focused on the holidays and everything because we're in that mode right now and that's what this episode's focused on.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
But really, this one could use some of that context because it's not just the holidays. Or is it? If it randomly is, then that's really weird. That's strange. But I imagine it to be like this throughout the year.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
And if your partner's already kind of on this train, then I'm curious if we're gonna try going to the partner's family gathering, if that's a thing, or are we just gonna do something really special on our own? all sounds very stress-free and limits the potential for any problems because the less people, the more fun and the more control over what happens.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Again, new normal, big change, new normal, but it seems like nothing's changed and you've tried.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
And so that's usually step one. In this case, you have done that. So now we're at stage two where you've tried and maybe not being there might set the tone a little bit, but at least at a minimum, it'll guarantee you won't need to deal with that.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
I think so. It seems like it's probably some sort of distance because otherwise you maybe could split the days where it's like, I don't know how far we're traveling, driving home for the holiday. I don't know. But I think especially with the Santa stuff... It's more, I don't know, it feels stronger in your own home. It feels different as a kid.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Well, everybody have a very happy holiday and whatever it may be with whomever it may be. And we'll be here on the other side. And please let us know if there's any post-holiday drama. Yeah. That we should be aware of. We love it.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
And so it is kind of that classic magic of it would be different when you're traveling, no matter how much the distance is.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Well, it's also, you know, the holidays are very different back home than they are here. Yeah. It's very, I mean, if you grew up here.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
And you've known it that way forever. It's just a, you know.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
I also, I know it's a little bit different for Christmas, but I'm never one that will ever care if the celebration isn't necessarily on that calendar holiday day.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
For me... I'm down to do, if I'm going home for Thanksgiving, I'm going a week before or a week after. And we're all gonna do the same thing. We're gonna have the same food. And it's, for Thanksgiving, it's all about getting together. So why do we have to do it on that exact day when travel's an absolute nightmare?
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
yeah whatever they're doing I think it's it's perfect and you just gotta really draw your boundaries don't fall for any guilt trips like just hold your guns because what you're doing is right for your family absolutely and understand change with family is incredibly hard always always breaking tradition is always going to be very very challenging the first year maybe the second year but once you set the new normal becomes the new normal
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
I think when you're changing tradition, I mean, this one even more so than the last one, you have even more ammo. You have a newborn. You have very, very legitimate, not that the last one didn't, but even more so you have way more of a reason to put your foot down because it's about health and safety and more than just, I want this for my kids.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
But it also has that element of, I want this for my kids with the oldest child. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. When you're changing tradition and you're starting for that new normal, I think it's very important to think, what do we want this to look like going forward? Yes, this year I have the newborn, but if you lead with that as your main excuse for not doing things the way they are.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Then all of a sudden, mate, you get next year, newborn's a year old. Oh, she's fine this year. We can go back to how it was. You really gotta be particular on how you present this and how you're gonna set this new normal If you want to be at your house going forward, then don't rely just on the newborn excuse.
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
Actually put it in motion that, hey, I think now that X is getting to this age and we have the newborn, I think we're gonna start doing this at our house. Perfect. Not, oh, this year is gonna be different. Like really think about it. No, this is our tradition now. Because people, like the mother-in-law in this story,
Father Knows Something
150: Father Knows: Holiday Mayhem
We'll, you know, eventually have to deal with this year and then all of a sudden it'll be flipped back again next year. So just consider the future as you do this.
Prof G Markets
Are We Headed For a Recession? + How Tariffs Hurt Housing (Live at SXSW)
Awesome. Thanks, guys. I'm Justin Orange County, California. For folks who might be lucky enough to have kind of their house in order with the low cost ETFs, etc, etc. What are some of the things that you can get like a little riskier on that you would suggest in like a 40 ish year old person?
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
Nope, no new gossip. Just that whole Tesla lawsuit. Everyone kind of went crazy over that.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
Yeah, the Tesla, Megan. I think everyone was just really baffled by the text messages. We could see all of it, the entire lawsuit.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
128 pages, Megan, and we read it all. Every single word.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
That 128-page document was a pretty interesting read with all the text messages.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
It cost a dollar, but we did get access and we posted it in the group and let everyone read it. It was totally worth a dollar. I think that was probably the most conniving and manipulative I had seen you before. I was actually really shocked by that. And I think a lot of us were. It was truly almost like diving into your brain.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
And seeing the manipulation that's possible from, from you, it was shocking. You know, I've spent a good amount of time talking to Steven's wife and they are really kind people, like very genuine, very kind. Um, and I was actually happy to see this lawsuit come about. because we were worried at the time that maybe nothing would come of it. I think there should have been a lot more.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
So I would, if I was you, I would consider myself lucky that that's all you're getting is a lawsuit because clearly you have no wages to garnish. Um, I wouldn't be surprised if all your bank accounts are frozen at some point.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
Oh no, Megan. I think they were trying for criminal charges and they realized that they may not have the burden of proof for criminal charges or I can't, I honestly can't speak to that. I don't know what happened, but I think that they are trying to find compensation in some way because they were truly wrong.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
I hear you too, buddy. And I'm just saying, I think it's really, it's kind of a fucked up situation.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
I just told you what I would do. I would admit to my wrongs.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
No, what you can offer them is an admission of guilt on your part. I would give them an admission of guilt and say, yes, I did this and I owe this money. Now, will they ever see it? I don't know. It's like jump in line. Get in line of all the people that I owe.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
When you get out of there, you need a fucking job. A J-O-B, baby girl. You need to go earn some money.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
Megan, it's... I don't believe that you will pay anyone back, nor will it be in order. I think that if you get out eventually, maybe years from now, so I don't think you're going to get a choice. I don't think anyone's going to say, Megan, pick who you pay back first. Okay, that makes sense.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
There's going to be a long line of people with their hands out waiting for money from you for the rest of your life. So when you get out of jail and you finally get a normal job, it could be 20 years down the road and you're suddenly paying for the mistakes that you made in your 20s. Like this is going to be with you for the rest of your life. You didn't commit small crimes.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
You committed large crimes. A $60,000 lawsuit, that's, Megan, that's like a third of a home. And that's just one. I mean, I think we added up how much you owed in total, and we're coming up close to like $200,000.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
They do. I have spoke to miss Mason a few times. I think Alex has spoke to Steven. Uh, we've definitely been in contact and they do know that you're in jail.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
Oh, I don't know if they'll speak with you directly. I would highly doubt that.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
No, I'm laughing because you said no, you don't have any money, which I knew the whole time.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
What do they call that, a Freudian slip? Because apparently you have 15 grand in a bank account. So, I mean, I don't know.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
Don't get shitty with me because I call you out on your lies. It's nothing new.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
I mean, just that you're going to have to go to prison for a little while.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
That's weird because you said 365 days was suspended. Like you got a two-year sentence. 365 was suspended. So what, you're doing six months in jail and six months work release or something?
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
Is that the general reaction? I mean, yeah, pretty much. I think everybody's going to be pretty pissed that you're getting such a light slap on the wrist. I mean, I know that you still have the Tesla thing to deal with, and you've got some other stuff coming your way, but it just seems like the justice system kind of let us down here. I would have liked to have got a lot more time.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
Well, I don't know. I'm not going to say congratulations because I don't agree with it all, but at the same time, what can I do?
Something Was Wrong
S22 E10: Indiana Delvey
I don't think everyone's pissed. I think everyone just thinks that you deserve longer. All right. Well, I will talk to you later. Bye.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
I will admit, we heard a few things about the way she was acting inside of jail and curiosity did get the best of me. So I did communicate with her as Justin. A few times I talked to her and she was relatively pleasant, but very quickly she became desperate for someone to come bail her out. And she got very belligerent with her messages.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
Megan often would ask me to call her mom when she was in jail, but I never spoke to her mom. From what I know of hers, I think Gail, if you read the letters that she wrote to the jail on Megan's behalf, I would say semi-literate. It wasn't until Megan went back to jail
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
and had her bail revoked that gail found out the extent of megan's crimes and the extent of who megan was through the first nine months of this whole saga gail didn't know why megan was under so much scrutiny and why megan was having to go into hiding
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
And I think it was truly very both confusing and devastating for Gayle to go through that because I don't think she could fully grasp what Megan was and what Megan had done.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
She messaged all of us, and by all of us I mean like at least me, Alex, Alyssa, at the same time through the app, my daughter just died. I have followed Megan Stoner for seven, eight years at this point, and I've never heard any mention that she has a child. And she keeps up this story for a few days that she had a daughter who she had had 10 years ago.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
So given Megan's age, that would be like at the age of 15. And she had to give her up for adoption. And there was a car accident and the adopted mother and the daughter died. and that she found out about this in jail because she was trying to come back into her daughter's life over the past couple months.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
She had been in contact with the family and the dad had gotten a hold of her and let her know of this tragedy that happened. I will admit, it was the one time Megan sort of got me where I was just like, is this the thing that happened to her that explains it all? Did she have this child she had to give up? And so I approached it from the position of it is true.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
And then Alex and Alyssa sort of approached her from the position of like, Megan, you're a compulsive liar. We don't believe you. But I sat on the phone with her and questioned her here and there about this doesn't really make sense. And she doubles down. She was able to come back into her daughter's life, has this whole story. And I'm like, oh, my God, this is wild.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
But I sort of figured out what she was trying to do because she very quickly was making me feel guilty for my role in putting her in jail, saying, you've got to bail me out so I can go to the funeral. That was just a whole ploy to get out of jail.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
And she probably saw on a pamphlet or something in the jail, like you can't get out for funerals and it has to be a kid, a spouse, a parent or a sibling or whatever. Her dad was already dead. She doesn't have a spouse, doesn't have kids. But she thought, okay, I have a kid that I gave up for adoption that died. That might get me out. And she just went...
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
fully into it to the point that even I couldn't completely rule out that it was true because she's just so incredibly good at it she's not very smart and she's not as smart as she wants to think she is because there's always a big gaping hole in her plan but when you're in it when you're talking to her she's incredibly good at it did your daughter actually die yes I didn't know you had a kid.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
And I was trying to come into her life, and... Well, do you know what happened?
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
You said you were going to try to go, is this the family member you were telling me about?
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
I'm just going to be transparent here and say that the story about the daughter, I'm really having a hard time believing. You know, I've talked to a couple other people since I left work, and it seems like there's maybe some holes in the story. You haven't talked to anybody.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
I was going to say, you talked to Alyssa a little bit, and you messaged Alex as well, didn't you?
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
And I just... I I'm just like in the interest of being transparent, you know, just about where my head is at right now. I mean, a mom and daughter dying in a car accident is a story you've told multiple times. You understand that there's a, there's a deficit here of, of trust because of, you know, the history.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
The way you're talking about it and the way that you're like using it almost like, I need to message me in the middle of the night and say, my daughter died. Thanks. You posted in on Twitter, you know, at the beginning part of this year that you and Jake were trying to start a family and that you weren't able to, and turns out that Jake's not even a real person.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
Well, you said my partner and I, and then you told me the name Jake Xavier or whatever. But anyway, you said that. And then, you know, you joined the Spice Girls Moms group because you wanted to be a mom, but you said you weren't. So I'm just, I'm very confused right now that you're bringing this out Cause there's a lot of conflicting stuff here.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
You're waiting on us to accuse you of murdering your child.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
Well, I have not heard that yet. Cause I mean, it's a lot, it's a lot to add to the story at this stage.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
Okay. And this is where, like, I'm just going to be honest about where my mind goes here. And just so I'm not putting up any fronts, you said you had to visit a dying relative in New Jersey so you could go and see Harry. And that turned out to not be the case. And now you're saying you have to attend the funeral and this just so happens to be out by Leo.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
Is it just going to be like doing a little private ceremony or is it going to be like... I don't know yet. I mean, do you know how much trouble you're going to be in if this turns out to not be true?
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
I mean, I'm inclined to believe you because, I mean, it's a hell of a thing to lie about, but you've also told some pretty big lies in the past. Lies that you told for years and then recanted.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
You called him? How did you know that this accident had happened?
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
He told you when you called him, like you just happened to call him on Sunday and all of this has happened?
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
See, I didn't think that's how private adoptions worked. I didn't think you could do that.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
Well, I hate to say, I hope it's true because if it's true, it's a tragedy, but I surely hope this is not something you would lie about. Sitting where you're sitting.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
Even if you lied to the judge about this and he says, no, you're still lying to a judge. Do you understand that?
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
But you've lied on court documents before. I don't know what to believe because on the one hand, I want to believe that no one would ever lie about things like this. On the other hand, I've seen you lie about other things. And this story is a lot to accept at face value when you've never mentioned this before.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
You lied and said you had a child that you gave up for adoption and that it died in a car wreck with its adoptive mom and none of that was true. Correct. Okay. What other lies have you told me? Um... Because I can think of several just since you and I started talking. And frankly, I don't really... Like, I don't even really...
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
know where to begin because it's every time I talk to you, I then go back and talk to other people and I find out something you told me wasn't true.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
You've told me that your mom was having a heart attack and you had to get out. You told me that you had a kid that died and that I was going to take it.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
Well, I'm including it in the list. And you told me multiple times that you have all this money in an account that you can pay back. And then you tell me that you're about to sign a plea deal twice. You told me you had a deal in front of you that had been offered that you were going to sign, and I find out neither of those was true.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
Okay. Well, it'll show up on the my case when it does. I don't know what to believe anymore because, you know, I talk to you sometimes and you're completely pleasant to talk to and it sounds like you want to do better and I say I'm willing to help you on the road to getting better and then I get off the phone and I say, she said this, this, and this, and everybody says, yeah, none of that's true.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
I don't even know why I'm taking this call. I don't know what I'm doing anymore because the lies you tell are just so... I mean, you've burned all these bridges and you're facing all these consequences and you would still make up a lie that's that elaborate? That makes me think there's nothing you wouldn't lie about.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
You've lied so many times about things from... you know, what kind of job you had to, you sent that Amazon wishlist to everyone I know for a year. When you weren't a teacher, you ran this rental scam. You, you know, lied to get the Tesla. You lied about Brian Bosma. You lied to Harry. You've lied to you. I mean, you've lied to so many people about so many things, Megan.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
And then you want us to take your calls and talk to you and feel bad that we did what we did. And it's like nothing has changed. I'm being offered 12 years one day, and then I'm being offered three months the next. And then it comes out neither of those offers have been made in that amount of time. It's just baffling to me.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
The thing is, Tiffany, like, we're the only friends she has. Like, the only people that will talk to her are the people that put her in jail. And I said that to her one time. I was like, Megan, how does it feel right now that the only people you have a hope of helping you right now are the people who conspired to put you in jail? And she was like, please stop. Don't rub that in right now. Please.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
Amanda said to me after, she's like, you're kind of nice by not pointing that out every time. After the dead kid thing, we all cut her off entirely. She reached out a few times to try to make things right. I had several phone calls from Christmas time of last year of me telling her, like, please stop calling me. I literally answer the phone and I just go, fuck off.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
And she goes, you really just paid for a phone call from the jail to tell me that? And I said, yes, because I'm sick of you calling me. And she goes, I haven't called you in like a week. And I go, you called me yesterday, twice. And she goes, is that really all you picked up the phone to tell me? She didn't even have a response for it.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
Because I'm not doing anything to help you. Because you're a compulsive liar and a thief. I've made that as clear as I can, and you just call me over and over and over again. So I don't know what else to do. I've had enough conversations with you. I've had enough conversations where you make up bullshit about having dead kids that don't exist. I think we're done with that.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E9: How Dare You
But this is one of those things where you're just going to have to do better. Like the words mean nothing because you say that every time and then you tell me that you've got a kid that died and your mom's having a heart attack and everything else under the sun you can think of to get what you want. You're just going to have to do better and
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
Here's Justin. Her excuse was actually the fall equinox because I was like, what's something that a yoni would be into? So the fall equinox was coming up. And so I said, Megan, I have a long list of potential clients that are wanting to do consultations and sign the paperwork and move forward with the process. And I promised myself I would have this business up and going after the fall equinox.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
It's coming up. I kind of need a decision if you want to meet up for a consultation or not. And she immediately was like, OK, I'm ready and just gives me an address. I was very skeptical that this was a real place that she was at or like, is this a setup? But I ran it online and I think it was like a Redfin posting of the house that the address was.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
And she had sent me a picture to the fake Yoni of her like having breakfast in the morning. And in the background, you can see the tiles of the bathroom. And when I found the Redfin for the address, it was the same bathroom. So I knew this is the place she was hiding. This was late at night and we agreed to meet in the evening of the next day.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
You never know what Megan's planning or what she's plotting. She's probably listening to like a police scanner right now, like to see, does anything happen after I put this address out into the world? I haven't told anyone where I'm at.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
Here's Justin. I was at work at the time and I do a job where I work with my hands. My hands were shaking for the next hour because I was like, this is it. If she told this person who she thinks is a healer, all of this stuff, and she finds out it was us trying to get her, she will not trust anyone ever again. It really did feel like a do or die. We're either going to get her now.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
Or she's never going to get caught. And then the officer called Alyssa back and he was like, yep, they found her. And she messaged me through the Telegram app and said, I believe you've turned me in. I've just been arrested. And that's one of the most exciting things that's ever happened to me. I mean, to realize we got her. This is the interesting thing.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
She could see my cell phone number on Telegram. The whole time. And she never looked it up. She never ran the number. I didn't think she had my phone number because we had talked that one time over Zoom. And all of my messages with her from the past had been on Twitter and Instagram. So I didn't think she had it. But if she had Googled it, I've had that number for 10 years.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
She could have figured out who it was. She called the number from inside the jail and she said, are you even a real practitioner? And I said, no, Megan, this has all been fake. And she said, how were you able to fake it so well? The sound of defeat in her voice. And I said, it honestly beats the hell out of me. I don't know how I was able to do it.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
I've spent a lot of time in 12-step rooms and DBT therapy. I've done some work in those spaces. I guess I knew enough kind of yogi-speak from some of the people I met through that that I was able to get by. I'm not usually the kind of guy that would have ever done anything like that, but one of the most exciting things in my life...
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
thank you everyone who has been so kind and everything that they've said the last few days. I mean, it's been, uh, people have said a lot of really nice things about the work that Amanda and I did and it was not just us. So, um, we'll get to all that, but it's been very nice. All the nice messages you all have been sending.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
Yeah. I was talking to somebody last night and they said like, do you feel like you were a part of a mob, like doing all of this? And I said, I mean a little bit. Yeah, I do. But like, and this goes back to like, she had no one else to call, but the fake Yanni guy come in to like meet her who she knew. already probably knew was a fake at that point.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
That was the only person she had to call besides her mom. And I said, you know, like she had no one, there's no one here tonight who wants to speak on her behalf. We've done four of these now. Nobody's come up and been like, she's a really great person. Like, I'd like to think if it was me, like a couple of you guys would speak up on my behalf if there were this many people.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
No one is defending her. No one, there's 1400 people in a Facebook group about her for a reason. And this has all been of her own making. So yeah, let's open it up. Who else wants to talk?
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
but thank you thank you thank you everyone who's been following along who's been helping with this like I'm just so glad she can't scam anyone anymore or emotionally drain anyone anymore which is arguably just as bad my hope is that I never have to do another one of these again but you know it's Megan and you know we'll see so thank you everyone it's been a pleasure but that's all have a good one bye everyone
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
Will I have a conversation with you? No. I've had enough conversations with you. I've had enough conversations where you make up bullshit about having dead kids that don't exist. So, no. I think we're done with that.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
Amanda made all the branding and stuff for the business, but she was like, you know, Megan, you've watched her closer than I have. You've talked to her a few times in person. You go ahead and you take the lead on messaging her. And so I messaged with her a few times and she was very instantly rude with me, like very demanding. She wanted us to message through a specific app.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
I think it was Telegram. We were chatting through Instagram DMs. She very quickly was like, I feel like my boundaries aren't being respected because I've asked you to move to this other platform and you won't do it. My character is like, well, Megan, I'm not familiar with this app. Give me a couple of days to feel comfortable with it. And then I would be happy to try to meet you where you're at.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
But she's very difficult to deal with, like in that professional setting.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
Once we started messaging, it didn't take long for her to just start trauma dumping in a way that you would not believe. I'm talking 30 to 40 messages to every reply she would get. And the thing that stands out to me the most now is it was immediately back to the same lies she had told. She starts alluding to Brian Bosman. I don't think we got to her using that name, but
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
The same story was started to be told. She started telling me about how Haribo, her previous practitioner, had assaulted her. The same story that she had threatened to accuse him of. Again, she doesn't know she's talking to Justin here. I've already heard all these stories. Outwardly, she's presenting as though she's trying to turn her life around.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
But then to someone new she's latched onto on the internet, she went immediately back to all her old lives. We play along for about two weeks. This goes back and forth, messaging. It was really taking a toll on me to just sit and have conversations about sexual assaults that didn't happen all day.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E8: We Got Her!
I sort of reached a point where I was like, listen, we either need to get her to agree to meet up somewhere and try this, or we need to punt the football and I can't talk to her for a few weeks. I can't do this.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E7: Scam the Scammer
I find all this out from Tom about what she's done with him. Amanda and I are on the phone one day and we're just sort of connecting like friends, just laughing. And we're like, how has no one caught her yet? Like at this point, her re-arrest warrant had been out for a while. She hadn't been turned in. She was running from the police.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E7: Scam the Scammer
I think they had gone to her mom's house once or twice and she'd gotten away. We also were kind of in the dark because the admin group was running a couple different schemes to catch her that we were not all aware of at the time. Amanda says those yoni massages are the one thing she would risk it all for. That's the thing she's obsessed with.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E7: Scam the Scammer
Could we maybe come up with a fake business that does that, that would be closer to her and more accessible? Because from what we looked into it, everyone that does that kind of care is on the coast. There's no one really in the Midwest that does this. She was like, what's a place that's close to where she lives that's kind of hippie?
Something Was Wrong
S22 E7: Scam the Scammer
And I threw out the name of Bloomington, Indiana, which is where IU is. It's a very small city, but a blue dot in a very red state.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E7: Scam the Scammer
And so we invent this character called Xavier St. Clair, who is one of these practitioners. And we make up a fake company called True Renewal that's just getting started and launching their social media branding. Located in Bloomington, we find the address was a real office building. Everything we did made sense.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E7: Scam the Scammer
We sort of had our bases covered, and so we thought, Megan loves to present herself as an expert on things. She loves to claim she was a speaker at different conferences that she wasn't even at. If we hit her with a follow request from an account like this, she's going to bite. There's just no way she'll be able to leave it alone.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E7: Scam the Scammer
So we follow her on our Instagram account that we've made, and we waited. Megan gets put in the back of a police car and gets released because the warrant that they had her on was not extraditable from the county. That was a whole different scheme that Alyssa and Vero had run that we didn't know about. So it's kind of coincidental. We hit her with that follow request the night before.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E7: Scam the Scammer
Then this happens and Megan gets away and Megan is indignant on social media the next couple of weeks. She is begging for money, hiding in an Airbnb. She's making posts every day about how she doesn't have money for food. I think a lot of people in the group, especially those who had been a part of the first scheme to get her, were just feeling really dejected.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E7: Scam the Scammer
Like she's just never going to pay a price for what she's done. Another warrant at some point around that time went out in which it was an extraditable warrant. At that point, if we caught her anywhere in the state of Indiana, she would have been taken to jail. The follow request that we hit her with sat for like two or three weeks. And we sort of, you know, had moved on.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E7: Scam the Scammer
We were like, oh, that didn't work. And then one day she accepts the request and immediately DMs the account. And her first message was, how do I get on your wait list? And from that moment on, we sort of knew this is going to be the thing that gets her.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E7: Scam the Scammer
Once we started messaging, it didn't take long for her to just start trauma dumping in a way that you would not believe. I'm talking 30 to 40 messages to every reply she would get.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E7: Scam the Scammer
This is the interesting thing. She could see my cell phone number on Telegram the whole time, and she never looked it up. She never ran the number.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E11: Double Down (Finale Part 1)
before you talk to her. And I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job. You have to know what you're doing. But I'm very well seasoned in dealing with that. She's going to approach you as, I've made some mistakes in my life. I'm trying to right my wrongs. It's been really hard to be under this amount of scrutiny. She's going to come off as the most pathetic person you've ever met.
Something Was Wrong
S22 E11: Double Down (Finale Part 1)
And you're going to come away feeling very gaslit and probably even questioning, is it the right thing to do? You cannot give her a platform to spin that needle. It has to be direct questions like, why did you take the money from Tom on this day? Because if you let her paint with a broad brush, she will if you let her, and she will make you feel bad for her. Even if you think you won't, you will.
The Dan Bongino Show
Trump Baffles Lib Media By Actually Answering Questions (Ep. 2396)
You're wondering where is L.A. Mayor Karen Bass? She's been in Ghana, so she's apparently on her way back. That's why we have not seen her at the scene. We saw Governor Newsom at the scene earlier. We know that President Biden happens to be in town, but we have not seen him on camera with all of this.
The Dan Bongino Show
E.J. Antoni On Tariffs, Trade Wars, and the Economy | Ep. 09 - 03/27/25
That's the way to handle it. Awesome.
The Dan Bongino Show
E.J. Antoni On Tariffs, Trade Wars, and the Economy | Ep. 09 - 03/27/25
Oh, you got a pocket watch on.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
What is up? What is up everybody at the Science of Flipping family? I am excited about this episode because it is a solo episode where I get to basically teach you some tactics, systems, philosophies, and today is going to be more about the philosophy. Most people in our space of real estate investing, they think of marketing as a cost and not an investment.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
That is why a Budweiser or Cheetos or Coca-Cola, they spend all this money, 5 million or whatever they're spending on a 30 second ad is because they know all the attention is going to be on them for those 30 seconds. So they make these commercials incredibly entertaining, funny, etc. Like Dunkin' Donuts with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, Tom Brady. Like, great.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
I still to this moment remember that commercial for Dunkin' Donuts. So I want you to think more like a marketer, more like a brand play, more like an advertiser. Because they're all similar. but you wanna try to put your money in all of it. Now, there is nothing wrong, just so we're clear about what I'm saying. I am not saying there's something wrong with door knocking.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
I am not saying there's something wrong with buying PPL, which is pay-per-lead leads. There's no branding play when you buy a lead. No one knows you're even buying it but you. There's nothing wrong with that. It is a true just I buy a lead, but it's not marketing either. You're just acquiring potential clients. That's all you're doing. There's no branding involved in that, okay?
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
So that's part of the point of this episode is to get clarity on what are the expectations you are trying to achieve. There's two great friends of mine in Columbus, Ohio. That's why I kind of thought of it. Tiffany and Josh High, two great friends. They run multiple different marketing strategies just like I do. I do more on a wider scope than they do.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
They focus very much in their own city of Columbus. But the reason why they do it is really highlighting what I'm talking about here. They're running TV. They do direct mail. They have cold calling, right? They have a network affiliate of agents working leads. I'm bringing that to light because the people who understand what I'm saying, that's how they're working their business.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
Now, I might have a much larger budget than you, so does maybe Tiffany and Josh, but it doesn't matter. If you're going to be spending money, understand what you're trying to do. And by the way, if you have a minimal marketing budget, that is totally fine. I would encourage you to probably start calling realtors. Why? Because again, you're serving both points.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
You're building a brand around the conversation you're having with realtors and you're getting a potential deal, right? And it is not mutually exclusive. Um, And in this way, it is actually kind of one in the same. You see, realtors have fed me for years. And when I mean feed, I mean they've given me deals and I've made money off of them and with them for years.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
And it all started for the first conversation. And that first conversation starts the idea and concept of who I am and what I do. And then once we transact, now they remember Justin buys homes in Phoenix. And then they'll continue to feed me because they know Justin buys homes in Phoenix. Now, it may not be a branding of your entity, but it might be the brand of you.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
You just likely have either heard misinformation or you have improper expectations on the result of the information. And so I'm not going to go vertical by vertical and rip off KPIs you should be expecting. What I want you to understand is what would be standard expectations for what you are doing.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
The brand of you is massively important when we're talking about marketing with realtors. Marketing with realtors is as simple as you think it is. It is typically a call. Now, if you get a good enough realtor database, you can start to email them, remind them you're here. Remind them that you're ready to buy deals, looking at deals, need to buy more deals.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
Now that branding will continue to go and you do not need a large marketing budget to do any of that. In fact, you really don't need any. But if you are going to maybe spend a couple dollars, then you got to make a decision whether you give it
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
You know, branding in terms of of people knowing your company, people knowing you, if you're going to spend a couple bucks and you're likely not going to care much about branding. OK, because the places that I would recommend you spend money would be something like PPL, pay per lead or cold calling. Now, the other the other play, which I haven't brought up yet and I should have is Facebook ads.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
Facebook ads are relatively inexpensive and they give you kind of the best of both worlds. They give you a branding play as well as they give you the lead. The challenge with Facebook ads is that you're really kind of relegated to a very wide range of where you're going to get the leads. Now you can navigate that and get very pinpointed on where you're going to get the leads.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
Um, but then the, the cost per lead starts to go up enough where it may or may not make sense. Okay. But Facebook ads is a very viable way to get deals nationally, right? And if you get deals nationally and you call it like, I'll give you an example. Joe buys homes, right?
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
and then the ad says we buy homes cash close quick no commissions but as joe buys homes then the brand is right there on the app that joe buys homes right and so if you have a little marketing budget then i'm going to encourage a couple things facebook ads pay-per-lead ppl or cold calling And by the way, as part of that, it's free to call and reach out to agents. So I would say agents.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
Now, if you have a little bit bigger of a marketing budget, this is where you got to start thinking through like, do I care about the brand yet? Because a lot of times you don't really care about the brand until you want to be in a very specific market. So like TV is very brandable, right? PPC is very brandable.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
So those two, I would say, are the two that you would say, okay, I want to build a brand around my marketing spend so that I have longevity and people will think about me down the road even when they didn't just watch my commercial.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
They may see my commercial, you know, two months ago and all of a sudden today they think about selling their home and they remember, oh man, I saw a commercial about Joe buys homes Columbus. And then they go look you up and reach out to you. But that is why I'm trying to distinguish for you guys the difference.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
When you reach the point of potentially doing TV ads or PPC ads, you know that those two verticals can better brand you. and get you leads versus just get you leads, okay? And realize if you're just going for leads, the money you spend on cold calling, for that example, or pay per lead, a vast majority of those dollars are gonna be wasted, a vast majority.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
I just had a great conversation with one of my students about they have a pretty decent marketing spend, right? And they are leaning into almost rebranding their company or the marketing company because they think that they're not necessarily seeing the results because potentially the brand of their company.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
I don't know the exact percentage, but like 70% or more. And it's the 30%, Of the money you spend that will get you the leads or get you the deals that can give you the ROAS. Remember, I talked about ROAS, return on ad spend. So 30% of that marketing spend can get you the deal. I'll give you a great example. I was doing TV ads in Alabama. And I think we did...
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
three was it three months before we actually sold we not only contracted and sold and profited on our first deal and we made like 40 grand so we spent 30 grand to make 40 grand okay but that lead i forget when that lead came in i mean the vast majority of the 40 or 30 grand we spent did not create the one lead, the vast majority.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
We made 40, so now we're profitable, but it was one lead that created the 40 grand. The rest of that money did not create any leads or deals. Are you guys following me there? So that like is such a gap between what you think is making money and what is really making money. Now, the better you get in sales and negotiating, the more deals you are gonna get from the leads that are coming in, right?
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
So then your ROAS goes up and you're making more and more money, but it's still heavily weighted to this idea that the vast majority of the money you're gonna spend is not, I repeat, is not going to generate you revenue. So be clear with your expectations. And when you are, then the first expectation should be this. I'm going to go get a 3X ROAS.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
And I'm going to spend the money for six months consistently to reach that 3X ROAS. You might reach the 3X ROAS after 90 days. That's fine. Be ready to spend the money for a minimum of six months. The next point to that is you got to remain consistent. You have to have marketing stamina. The reason why companies, myself, people we win is we just don't quit because things aren't going our way.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
I'm not telling you to be silly and dumb and throw money at marketing that is absolutely not working. Don't do that. I'm not saying or suggesting that. But don't do it for 30 days. Think it's not working and quit. At a minimum, whatever marketing vertical you decide to go do, you need to go do that for a minimum of six months, okay?
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
And I told them it has less to do with the brand as much, meaning the name of the brand, as much as it has to do with the value that the person hears or sees in the messaging. You could call yourself, it doesn't matter LLC, but if the value that the person hears or sees as a function of that during the marketing, they will call you back, right?
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
And then you will see the runway that was needed for you to make your money. And at the end of the six months, you will look up and say, okay, I made money, I lost money, I broke even, whatever. And then you can say, what could have made that better? Maybe it's conversions, maybe it's leads, maybe whatever the case may be.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
But again, when you start spending real money, do not give up before you give yourself enough runway to measure your results. So if you do these things and have proper expectations around these things, then you're going to ultimately be successful in your marketing. Do not sell yourself short. Understand there's free marketing. You can door knock. You can call agents. That is all free.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
It does not deliver branding. You can spend a lot of money on TV and PPC, and that is expensive, but it also delivers branding. And I can't tell you how many times that we will get a deal because someone remembered the commercial or someone remember the ad and clicked on the ad three months ago and just save the website or remember the name and then reached out to us.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
So understand what you're looking to achieve, figure out how much marketing budget you have, and attack it. And lastly, give yourself enough runway to measure the results. 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, that is not enough runway. You should measure all along, but it's just in my opinion, not enough runway to give you true data for you to measure the result you want.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
Now, friends, if this was good and you believe there's a couple people that should hear this about marketing and advertising and branding and expectations, please share this episode with everyone you think should hear this. And I'll see you all on the next episode of The Science of Flippin'.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
And so that is really important for you to understand. is the perception of the brand is critical. What are the value stack that you can offer your client, in our case, a seller more often than not, that can help them say, I want to call this company, this person. And so in that, you want to make sure that whatever marketing you are doing is offering value to the person receiving the marketing.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
Now, again, I want to maybe take a step back even further and help you guys understand the point of the marketing. There's marketing that is specific to just brand building. Some of you think that you need to have some really clever, genius company name for your branding. I don't personally agree with that.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
I think if your company name or the name that you are branding and marketing with is straightforward, tells the story of what you're trying to do. Like I have a company, U S national home buyers. Is there any question where we buy homes? Is there any question what we do? None. We buy homes in the US, right? Like clear as day, US national home buyer.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
So we're going to talk about all things marketing, how to look at it, how to look at the ROI, how to really strategically plan for the money to be made. All things related to marketing and revenue is what we are going to talk about on this episode. Now I have done this business for 18 years and I have spent tens and tens of millions of dollars on marketing over those almost two decades.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
So I want you guys to realize like it doesn't have to be clever, witty, cute. Like you don't have to be named Apple, right? So like just don't overthink that part. But then also understand what is the marketing that you are trying to do Or what is the marketing you set out to do trying to do? For some of you, you might be considering making your marketing budget partly a brand play.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
Maybe you're very localized. So maybe you want your TV ads to be a major component of your marketing spend. Right. So let's just say you're in Columbus, Ohio, and you are Johnny buys home Columbus. Well, that is very specific. It is very strategic. And no one is going to question that Johnny buys homes in Columbus. That TV ad would be very good when someone is looking to sell their home.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
And so the vertical of TV in that sense could be very good and could come off well. Now, does Johnny buys home Columbus translate when you send out a piece of direct mail? Not as much. Because when you open up direct mail or when I open up, think about how you open up direct mail. I'm not always looking at the company. I'm looking what's in the direct mail.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
So like for us, we send out those checks, like guaranteed offer checks. So someone putting their brand of Johnny Buys Columbus on the check is not nearly as important as as the number on the check. You guys follow me there? The number on the check is gonna be way more important than the fact that you're trying to put the brand of Johnny Buys Columbus, Ohio.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
So again, thinking through verticals and thinking through what you're trying to do with marketing is gonna dictate kind of the vertical you go in and what should the expectations be. If you're going for a branding play while at the same time making money, TV would be a much better vertical than direct mail. TV would be a much better vertical than cold calling.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
All three of these, all three, TV, cold calling, direct mail, they all are trying to get you your next deal. All of them are. But out of those three, what do you think would bring the most brand recognition? is TV by far, right? And so understanding the point of your marketing can really help you dictate where you spend your money.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
So that is part number one of this episode is do you care about the brand you're putting out there? Is that a part of the play that you're trying to do? And in some verticals like cold calling, for example, or door knocking, it isn't important. At all. Right. Um, and so I would not utilize my intention of branding in those verticals.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
They all, again, they all get deals, but if you're looking for the branding play, then there's some that are better than another. Now, the other component that I want to dive in here is again, looking at all the different platforms from PPC, PPL, TV, direct mail, cold calling, et cetera. Having the expectation, well, let me rephrase it.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
So when I tell you the things you're going to hear in this episode, write them down. I have the wisdom to have gone through the experiences and not everyone can say that. So I want to make sure you understand this is not just theory.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
Making sure you have realistic expectations is going to be paramount. If you expect to start a PPC Google, Google PPC campaign, and you expect to get your first deal in 30 days, I wish you the best of luck. Because the reality is, just like TV, direct mail, PPC, you might find the highest motivation in your clients, in the homeowners, but you need runway to find them.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
So this conversation I just had with a student, we were talking about how like, and I don't know the exact percentage, But a massive percentage of the marketing you spend, the money you spend on the marketing, a massive percentage goes to nothing, is wasted. And it's a very small percent of the marketing you spend that generates the deal. It's kind of crazy to think about.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
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The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
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The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
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The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
I have done this and these are going to be data driven results that I have found in my own business so that you could look at how you are marketing and the money you are spending for marketing in your business. Now, I'm gonna stop here and start to dive into all the different verticals, right? There are a lot of different verticals that you could choose.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
at shopmando.com that is s-h-o-p-m-a-n-d-o.com please support our show and tell them we sent you smell fresher stay drier and boost your confidence from the head to the toe with mando so for example if i spend a hundred thousand dollars and my cost to get the deal is five thousand dollars My hope is I can get 20 deals. That's my hope, right?
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
But even then, to get one deal out of $100,000 spend is still gonna cost me five grand, which means 95% of that 100 grand at that moment is wasted. It's wasted marketing at the moment, right? And so you got to realize if you have an expectation that is incorrect, you might give up before you even start, right?
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
It's a very small percentage of the money that you are putting out there is going to actually get you deals. Now, many of you guys have heard this a lot, right? You've heard this. You want to look for a 3X ROAS. ROAS stands for Return On Ad Spend. You wanna aim for a 3X ROAS. That is correct. And by the way, that's kind of the minimum threshold of a successful marketing campaign, 3X ROAS.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
And that is correct, you really do. So if you spend 100 grand, you wanna be making $300,000. That's how you would look at that ROAS, right? But how much of that 100 grand found the deals? And it's going to be a very small fraction. The rest is going to waste. So then you can start to think about the first part of this episode, which is the branding play.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
Is there a part of that spend that can be utilized for branding? So that way, if someone hears you or sees you again in a different way, a different vertical or around town, they recognize the brand of you, even though they didn't yet transact with you, right? It's the same thing I have found about my podcast.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
Because my podcast has been able to reach such highs, I have found more people are finding me than ever before. Not because I am more successful or have made more money. It's because I have found a way to create a brand that now people want to engage with me. They want to do business with me. Okay. Now, I'm not telling you guys to start a podcast.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
My point of that is if a large part of your marketing spend is wasted, I would make an argument. Some of this marketing that you are doing, if you're spending $100,000, I would make an argument that some of that $100,000 should be going into a vertical like a TV show. or pay-per-click advertising that has branding around it, okay?
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
If you spent 100 grand on cold calling, which is really hard to do, by the way, you're not gonna get any branding out of that, none. But if you use pay-per-click advertising, and TV is two of probably the most prominent, then at least you're getting some branding. Because if someone watches that commercial or someone clicks on your ad, they're gonna go to a website,
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
And the first thing I'm gonna talk to you about in terms of verticals and how you can be marketing is there is not a right or wrong answer. There's no bad way of marketing, right? Because whether it is cold calling, TV ads, direct mail, PPC, PPL, email marketing, none of these are bad. Driving for dollars. I mean, there's a lot of different verticals, right? bandit signs, none of them are bad.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
And they're going to know that you are Johnny Buys Columbus Homes. Or, you know, they'll see the commercial and know you're Johnny Buys Columbus Homes. So a portion of your marketing budget should be allocated to verticals that have both of the points. It's a way to get a deal and monetize it and get your 3X ROAS. But it is also a way for you to have some brand recognition.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
Now, here's the tricky part about marketing and branding. They're similar, but people think it's synonymous, right? That it's all one in the same. And it isn't. I've found in my experience, the bigger my brand gets, the more money I make. But not all marketing is making me more money. I can't tell you how much money I have spent that didn't give me any return at all.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
I basically burnt the money on fire, right? Like I lit it on fire. It didn't give me a return. It is gone, right? That has happened more times than I'd like to admit. But as I say all the time, the longer you stay in the game, the better chances you have to win the game. That has also been my reality, right?
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
because now I've done this business for almost two decades, I've been able to create a brand just around staying in the game long enough to create enough credibility, enough influence, and enough authority that now money is finding me, okay? So marketing is really imperative. It is different than branding though. Like we talked about, cold calling is a way of marketing.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
Door knocking is a way of marketing. However, when you knock someone's door, you have a conversation, you leave, most likely they forgot your name, they don't know the company, and they forgot all about you if they didn't transact with you, okay? You have very little to no branding, but it is a way of marketing. This is why still today, I know this sounds crazy to everybody.
The Science of Flipping
Why 90% of Your Marketing Budget Feels Wasted (And Why That’s Okay)
This is why TV still has some of the highest retention when it comes to commercials. This is why commercials on the Super Bowl are so expensive. As much as it is about a gaining clients play, it's just as much about a brand play. You want all the eyeballs on you.
The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
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The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
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The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
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E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
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The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
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The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
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E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
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The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
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The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
So your friendship ended with Taylor because of what her and Chase had said or not said to each other and what she did not Tell you about that is why your friendship ended before your friendship ended. Taylor had an affair on her husband and you were trying to be there for her. But then all of this information about her and Chase starts coming out. And so you kind of distance yourself.
The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
Do you think you'll ever get back to the state of friendship you were at before the swinging, before all of this stuff has happened?
The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
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The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
Mainly because he cares about our family. And since we have Tonal, he's able to stay at home and do a workout with River right next to him. It's so cute. It's so fun.
The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
Tonal provides the convenience of a full gym and the guidance of a personal trainer anytime at home with one sleek system. Designed to reduce your mental load, Tonal is the ultimate strength training system, helping you focus less on workout planning and more on getting results. No more second guessing your form, which is the best part.
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E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
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E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
Honestly, this is a great Father's Day gift if any of you want to like treat your man, treat your husband. For a limited time, go to tonal.com to get $500 off your Tonal purchase plus a free four-year warranty. That's tonal, T-O-N-A-L.com for $500 off plus a free four-year warranty. Tonal.com.
The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
I feel like Jen is probably the most devout. I would say Jen.
The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
The girls are fighting on social media. I'm sure you have... scene or been following, but seems like Jesse and Demi, who season one seemed like... The closest.
The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
Sickest thieves. Yeah. Just absolute best friends. I think Demi said that Jesse has her blocked. They're fighting in the comments. Where do you stand in this?
The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
Obviously, Taylor and Dakota's relationship, we know, is very rocky. Jen and Zach, we saw season one, that kind of fall apart. Whose relationship do you think is kind of like next on the chopping block, from your opinion, as like the weakest?
The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
Do you feel like there's anyone who necessarily performs for the cameras? Like, I'm sure you've spent some time with these women off camera. Do you feel like any of them turn it on or up a notch when the cameras are rolling?
The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
After the first time that happened, did you go home with Chase and kind of have a conversation with your husband at that point and be like, OK, what did we think of that? That was was that fun for both of us?
The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
Like did you just get on TikTok one day to scroll and then you saw Taylor's post? Well, she went live first.
The Viall Files
E933 – Going Deeper with Miranda McWhorter
After that cabin party, was that the last time you and Chase partook in any of that or was it, Did you continue after you had felt uncomfortable?
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Wasn't a working actor, wasn't casted by a casting director. It was his friend.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
where his friend would be on set. No more filming of any Blake Lively nudity without a fully executed SAG-compliant nudity rider in place. Any such footage already shot without this rider in place and in direct violation of SAG requirements may not be used without Blake Lively and her legal representative's prior written consent.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Any scene by Blake Lively or another performer depicting the character of Lily that involves nudity or simulated sex must be conducted strictly in accordance with the above-referenced nudity rider and must adhere to the Blake Lively-approved script. An intimacy coordinator must be on set for all scenes involving nudity and or simulated sex and must have a monitor to ensure compliance.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
No monitors to be viewed or accessible on set or remotely during closed set scenes except by Blake Lively approved essential crew and personnel. No more entering, attempting to enter, interrupting, pressuring, or asking Blake Lively to enter her trailer or the makeup trailer by Mr. Heath or Mr. Baldoni while she is nude for any reason.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
No more private multi-hour meetings in Blake Lively's trailer with Mr. Baldoni crying, with no outside Blake Lively appointed representative to monitor. No more pressing by Mr. Baldoni to sage any of Blake Lively's employees. Producer Alec Sachs to be given standard rights, inclusion, and authority per her job description and as represented to Blake Lively when signing on.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Sony must have an active daily role in overseeing physical production for the remainder of the film to monitor safety. for cast and crew, schedule, logistics, problem solving, and creative. Engagement of an experienced producer to supervise the safety of the cast and crew, schedule, logistics, problem solving, creative for the remainder of the shoot.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Engagement of Blake Lively approved A-list stunt double to perform Lily in scenes with Mr. Baldoni involving and or violence. Blake Lively to perform only close-up work or work from a Blake Lively pre-approved shot list and scenes with Mr. Baldoni involving sexual violence.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
No more adding of sex scenes, oral sex, or on-camera climaxing by Blake Lively outside the scope of the script Blake Lively approved when signing on to the project. There are three more to this list, as shocking as that may sound. No more asking or pressuring Blake Lively to cross physical picket lines.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
No more retaliatory or abusive behavior to Blake Lively for raising concerns or requesting safeguards.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
In an in-person meeting before production resumes with Mr. Baldoni, Mr. Heath, Mrs. Sachs, the Sony representative, the new producer, Blake Lively, and Blake Lively's spouse, Ryan Reynolds, to confirm and approve a plan for implementation of the above that will be adhered to for the physical and emotional safety of Blake Lively, her employees, and all the cast and crew moving forward.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
So they signed off on all that and they said, OK, agree, agree, agree. We'll stop doing all that. Let's resume filming.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Before we get into those, I think it is important to note that I know another critique I had, which obviously fell for the Justin Baldoni tactic, was the way she was marketing this film. I know we talked about it a little bit more with Emily.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
So the marketing plan that Sony gave to everyone involved was to focus on Lily's strength and resilience as opposed to describing the film as a story about domestic violence and to avoid talking about this film that makes it feel sad or heavy. It's a story of hope. So that was what they were all told. Hey, this is how you need to market this film.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
They did that to explain why they were not doing any press with him. They weren't photographed with him. What the public did not know was that Mr. Baldoni and his team did so in an effort to explain why many of the film's cast and crew had unfollowed Mr. Baldoni on social media and were not appearing with him in public.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
To that end, he and his team used domestic violence survivor content to protect his public image as described in further detail below. So it was all a ploy by Justin and his team.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
I think it's also I remember people saying like, oh, Ryan's on set because he's trying to take over this film. And it's like, can you imagine being on set with someone who makes you feel so uncomfortable, who's doing all of these things to you? The one person I would want by my side is my husband, is the person who I feel the most safe with, the person who I feel protects me the most.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
That's who I want with me every single day while I have to interact with this fucking creep.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
I think we need to get, honestly, into some of the screenshots that were subpoenaed by his publicist and this crisis PR manager's phones, Jennifer Abel and Melissa Nathan. Justin Baldoni also has a couple of Text mixed in with these. But these are, I think, very telling.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
I mean, I think, honestly, one of the ones that to me was the most shocking was when Justin Baldoni texted Jennifer Abel a screenshot of a tweet And it has pictures of Hailey Bieber. And the caption of it is Hailey Bieber's history of bullying many women, not just Selena Gomez, throughout the year's thread. And he sends that screenshot to his publicist and says, this is what we would need.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
So he wants to put out any history of, in quotes, Blake Lively bullying other women. His publicist responds with, yes, I literally just spoke to Melissa about this on the break, about what we discussed last night for social and digital. Focus on Reddit, TikTok and Instagram.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
They retained a subtractor, including a Texas-based contractor named Jed Wallace, who weaponized a digital army around the country from New York to Los Angeles to create, seed, and promote content that appeared to be authentic on social media platforms and internet chat forums.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
The Baldoni Wayfarer team would then feed pieces of this manufactured content to unwitting reporters, making content go viral in order to influence public opinion.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
I didn't even know this was possible, but they have hired this person to put a shit ton of likes on something, a shit ton of views, to put it on your For You page, to make it seem like it is the most viral piece of information that has ever gone out there, when in reality, it's just like some guy in his basement clicking away on his computer. It's all false. None of it is genuine.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
But Justin Baldoni's team sent out a large, wide email text saying, Hi, team. So far, extremely limited pickup on Daily Mail or Page Six. We'll continue to keep an eye out and send pieces as needed. But so far, it's been steady coverage on pure speculation.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
We've also started to see a shift on social due largely to Jed and his team's efforts to shift the narrative towards shining a spotlight on Blake and Ryan. Again, we'll continue to send links and screenshots, but wanted to send an update in the meantime. The same day.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Melissa Nathan, who is this crisis PR team working for Justin, text Jennifer Abel, his publicist, the majority of socials are so pro-Justin and I don't even agree with half of them. LOL.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Oh, but just wait, because it does get worse. Melissa then says he doesn't realize how lucky he is right now. We need to press on him. Just how fucking lucky. The whispering in the ear, the sexual connotations like Jesus fucking Christ, other members feeling uncomfortable watching it.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
It is crazy to think that like it can get better from the year that we've had. You know, it's like we've had so many amazing things happen in 2024. And to think that like life is just going to get better and sweeter. And obviously it'll come with ups and downs and challenges like, you know, any life does. But I it is crazy to think that like.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
I mean, there's just so much like so there they are, his own team acknowledging that what they've heard and what they know to have happened on set.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
who this aren't even in the script you're just like ad-libbing cameras aren't even rolling like this isn't part of the fucking film and you're like touching all over this married woman who has four children so obviously we saw a lot of these headlines come out a lot of them obviously people believed one of them being is Blake Lively set to be cancelled string of hard to watch videos that have
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
surfaced following, in quotes, tone deaf Q&A to promote It Ends With Us could tarnish 36-year-old star's golden Hollywood image for good. Melissa Nathan sends this article to Jennifer Abel and Jennifer Abel says, wow, you really outdid yourself with this piece. Melissa says, that's why you hired me, right? I'm the best. So here they are saying like, yep, we're planting this shit.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
We're putting this shit out there. We're trying to make our client look good and Blake Lively look fucking bad. None of this is genuine. None of this is real. I think that's what's so crazy to grasp is that like, you know, people have said for years, like, don't believe everything you see on the internet. And it's, Couldn't be more true now is like how many of these have happened?
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
And this Melissa Nathan, her sister being a writer reporter for all of these publications, have written so many terrible articles about so many people. And we just believe them because, oh, it's a headline. It's in the media. It must be real. No, these people are just paying them to do this.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Like, I'm sorry. You can hate Blake Lively all you want. You can think she's a mean girl. You can think she's annoying. You can think she's this and that. But you cannot tell me that Justin Baldoni is a warrior for women and a feminist and cares about women when these are the...
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
environments he's putting women in like it's just it's it's black and white it's not gray it's not confusing it's not well what about it's it's that's it's clear as fucking day he doesn't give a fuck about women if he's making her do these things he's adding in like after after blake signed on to the movie based on a draft of the script mr baldoni without miss lively's knowledge or consent personally added graphic content including a scene in which miss lively was to orgasm on camera
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Like, what the fuck? And then he added them because he was making the film in quotes through with a female gaze.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Well, I realized that I married into a family that opens presents all at once, and that was hard for me to digest.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
There's so much more in this complaint that Justin and Mr. Heath and all of these people involved with Justin have done. And there's proof and there's other people to corroborate that. It wasn't just Blake Lively. It was her employees. It was other cast and crew. It was so many people that these two men, Justin Baldoni and Jamie Heath, made feel so uncomfortable.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
that there's just no hole to poke. Unfortunately, there is no hole to poke. And we're going to link this in our bio. You can click it. You can read it for yourself.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Jennifer Abel and Melissa Nathan.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Obviously, that's a lot. I think Emily Baker can really break down the legality of all of this, so we should get to her. There's a lot of decisions you have to make when you have a baby. And the one that I feel the most comfortable and safe making is using Huggies for our daughter, River. The new Huggies Skin Essentials are here.
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E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
A brand new dermatologist-approved line of diapers, wipes, and pull-ups training pants are all designed with baby's sensitive skin in mind.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
The Skin Essentials diapers features the Skin Protect Liner, which is what helps take care of the ick and stick that can cause rash.
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E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
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E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist-recommended hair growth supplement trusted by over 1 million people, seeing thicker, stronger, faster-growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with Nutrafol. I'm one of those 1 million people. I've used Nutrafol for years now. I actually just did a end-of-year chop, and I'm very excited to see...
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E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
how quickly and how healthy my hair is going to grow since taking Nutrafol.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Start your hair growth journey with Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter promo code V-I-A-L-L.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
My family, actually. Thank you very much. Our family.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Well, you know, like everyone has their own way of doing holidays. I grew up in a family where Christmas Eve, my mom cooks a big dinner. We kind of all dress up to sit in the living room type of thing. We have a nice my mom would it would be like a seven course dinner and it would be, you know. Soup and salad and whatever. My mom really, she went all out for Christmas Eve.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
I was struggling. Obviously, you have to pay for The New York Times, which I am now subscribed to. But when this complaint first came out, someone had sent me the link because I hadn't paid for New York Times. I hadn't read the complaint.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
And I was like, oh, I'll just put this on my story and ended up having like 14000 people click on it to read the complaint from my story because it was like so hard to find just on Google.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
I've seen a lot of like, why now? You know, like if it happened so long ago, why do it now? Why has it? I mean, I'm sure there's a process. I feel like all legal stuff takes forever to happen. So like, what is that process and why did it happen three days before Christmas?
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
And then Christmas morning, we, everyone would open stockings all at once. And then it went, every year it switched either youngest to oldest, oldest to youngest. And everyone opened up a gift one at a time. You were able to like enjoy that one gift. And it wasn't just like chaos. You could watch the other person. You see what everyone else got.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
I go to our family Christmas with your side of the family. We were at the lake house. And it is like, there is no order. There is no plan. There's nothing. It's just like, everyone's just opening up stuff. And I'm like, wait, what did you get? What's happening? And it's...
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
No, you just become a pro. You're like, oh, I've always wanted a meat thermometer. Thank you, Aunt Suzanne. Like... You have to just and that's the fun in it is and everyone's like, oh, like Natalie hated that meat thermometer. But Aunt Suzanne is like, yeah, I'm so glad you love it. You know, it's like the fun and getting your Oscar winning performance.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
I mean, I remember I fell for that, like when all of this was going on. And I remember being like, as someone who's been through domestic violence, like, yeah, I don't love the way that Blake is talking about this. You know, it's not. And then come to find out like that's she was doing her job. And Justin was maliciously like breaking contract to make her look worse.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Crazy year personally for us. Well, for the show. Crazy year for the show. Even crazier year next year. But this year was just started off a Gypsy Rose straight out of prison.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
But like the lake, I couldn't even I'm like, what did your dad get from your sister and your it was hard.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
It's really. Yeah. It's hard to be like, oh, he's such a warrior for women. And oh, he's such a feminist. And then to be like, but you did this to a woman. Like, how can you say that's who you are?
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Wow. That's really exciting.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
What do you feel like was the most shocking to you when you first read the complaint? The first one.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
I posted a little picture of some selects we made and a lot of people thought it was the gold wall that was coming down. It is not the gold wall, but it is more exciting.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
It's like a negative story about Blake. They're choosing a photo where she's not quite smiling yet because she looks a little bitchy.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
What's crazy about the whole point of like all she did was be rude. It's like you don't have to be perfect to be a victim. You know, like you can be a terrible person and you can still bad things can happen to you and you can still be victimized. And it's like the fact that people are like, oh, my God, she was mean. She was rude.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Youngest to oldest. One at a time. One at a time. And the elf, someone has to pick to be the elf. Who's it going to be? Maybe River has to hand the gifts to each person. It was you this year. You didn't really know what the hell you were doing.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Like, there's no way that like he would do this to her is the craziest thing to me.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
We obviously both come from huge families.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
yeah definitely coming from huge families I think it's nice to have a place where my family your family can all come together and it can fit everybody and it can you know it can be that that place for us to make all the memories with River and all her cousins and aunts and uncles and stuff so it will be really fun it's gonna be an exciting year I can't I can't even I can't even wrap my brain around how just exciting I think next year is going to be for us the show you guys listening uh
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
We keep talking about this H.R. meeting that happened January 2024 right before filming resumed. There were seven or so people there. And at the beginning of this complaint, it talks about this H.R. meeting. And it says, you know, before the third, the list of 30 things, it says the January 4th meeting occurred only after Wayfair had rebuffed Miss Lively's efforts repeatedly. What does that mean?
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
This is our last episode of Vibe vs. Stats for 2024. Yeah. We vibes are going out, losing still, but we are coming back strong before the end of the season. I feel it in my toes.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
I also think him blaming it on his ADHD is like we've seen him interact with fans. We've seen him in a crowd of people and he's suave. He's like, you know, he has the whole room in his hand. And then like always says the right thing. He always says the right thing. And then for like him to say, well, you know, if some of this stuff gets out, we'll just blame it on that. It's like.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Yeah, it's like everyone wants to say, oh, Blake Lively's lying or oh, let's not believe Blake Lively. But it's like Justin isn't even defending himself. He's just saying, oh, let's make sure we have a plan and excuses ready for when this comes out, because I know I did all this, but we need a reason as to why I did all this.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
It also makes you think, I mean, like Melissa Nathan, who is this crisis PR who's on Justin Baldoni's team, her sister, Sarah Nathan, who is this quote unquote journalist for all of these publications, who's written some terrible articles about a lot of women.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
some Meghan Markle it makes you think like oh Meghan Markle like she's had such so many people have hated on Meghan Markle and like is this another one of these like hit pieces it just makes you think of how many women have Hollywood tried to tear down that like we just believed because we read a headline
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
One thing about Nick is he is a good read of character and he when something doesn't smell right, he is the first one to say it. And he definitely said it back then. And a lot of people had a very strong reaction to what Nick said. But Emily, we know you have to go. This has been so insightful. We really appreciate you being able to break this down.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
I think this is so much more than a believe women stance right now. It's like there's...
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
cast and crew that have men involved who want nothing to do with justin who i'm who they overheard and they saw and things made them uncomfortable like this isn't just blake lively against justin baldoni this is so many cast so many crew so many people involved who are like hey i don't like this guy he's saying shit he's doing weird shit like i don't want to be around him and i think that's like
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
what people need to pay attention to is, like, it wasn't just Blake Lively who was like, hey, I don't want to promote this movie with him. I don't want to stand beside him on a red carpet. It's the writer of this film who sold these rights to Justin is so uncomfortable she doesn't want to be around him. Brandon Sklenar, who plays Atlas in the film, he wants nothing to do with Justin.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
The actors who play young Lily and young Atlas... Man and woman want nothing to do. This is just so like people are in my DMs being like, you're going to eat your words like this. Believe women thing. It's like it's not about that anymore. Like it's not about believe women because no one fucking believes women ever. So like we're past that. This man has clearly made several people.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
People uncomfortable and done shit where he hasn't asked for consent. He's added in scenes. I mean, this is a bad guy. And for people to sit here and be like, Team Justin, it's not fucking teams like this is it's black and white. This is a bad guy. This is a bad person who's done some bad things to a lot of people. And I think we just need to, like, wake up and realize that.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
It's just so important. I think to acknowledge that no one on Justin's team, Justin himself, this Jamie guy, no one is saying that this stuff didn't happen. And I think that is the most telling part. His publicists, are also in cahoots of like, this guy's fucking weird. This guy's cringy. This guy thinks he's all that. His own publicists, his own team are saying that about him.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
So this isn't like, oh, this isn't true or that's not true. It's like Justin isn't even saying, guys, I didn't do this. And I think that's what people need to pay attention to.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
And other cast. And other castmates.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
But she also made a huge decision in saying, I'm not going to continue to film this if these 30 things don't get fixed.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
I think that's telling in itself.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Right. And this list of 30 things, they did not say, hey, none of this stuff's happened. They said, okay, fine, we won't do any more of this stuff.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
But it wasn't, hey, I did not do that.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Because Blake said, I will not continue if this stuff doesn't stop.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
Let's get into the stuff that Blake has listed in this. Starting with number one, no more showing nude videos or images of women, including producer's wife to Blake Lively and or her employees. So we have Justin Baldoni showing, I think, I'm not sure if people are grasping this, but Justin Baldoni is showing Blake Lively and her employees nude images, nude videos of his wife.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
No more mention of Mr. Baldoni or Mr. Heath's previous pornography addiction or Blake Lively's lack of pornography consumption to Blake Lively or to other crew members. No more discussions to Blake Lively and or her employees about personal experiences with sex, including as it relates to spouses or others.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
No more mention to Blake Lively and or her employees of personal times that physical consent was not given in sexual acts as either the abuser or the abused. No more descriptions of their own genitalia to Blake Lively. No more jokes or disparaging comments to be made to Blake Lively and or her employees about HR complaints Wayfair has already received on set or about missing the HR meeting.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
No more inquiries about Mr. Baldoni to Blake Lively's trainer without her knowledge or consent to disclose her weight. No more mention by Mr. Baldoni of him speaking to Blake Lively's dead father. No more pressing by Mr. Baldoni for Blake Lively to disclose her religious beliefs or unsolicited sharing of his.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
If Blake Lively and or her infant is exposed to COVID again, Blake Lively must be provided with immediate notice as soon as Wayfair or any other producers become aware of such exposure without her needing to uncover days later herself.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
An intimacy coordinator must be present at all times when Blake Lively is on set in scenes with Mr. Baldoni, which there has been an interview resurfaced where the interview asks about the lack of intimacy coordinator. And Blake Lively says that's not normal, by the way. So proof that that did happen.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
No more personal physical touching of or sexual comments by Mr. Baldoni or Mr. Heath to be tolerated by Blake Lively and or any of her employees, as well as any female cast or crew without their express consent. No more improvising of kissing. All intimate touch must be choreographed in advance with Blake Lively and an intimacy coordinator.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
No biting or sucking of lip without Blake Lively's consent. An all intimate on camera touch and conversations must be in character, not spoken from Mr. Baldoni to Blake Lively personally. Blake Lively to have a representative on set at all times with a monitor during scenes involving nudity, sexual activity or violence with Mr. Baldoni.
The Viall Files
E862 - Blake Lively’s Complaint Against Justin Baldoni w/ Emily D Baker
All actors participating with Blake Lively in intimate scenes involving her being in any state of nudity or simulated nudity must be classified as an active working actor, not friends of the director or producers, and must be pre-approved by Blake Lively. So just a little context, the doctor in her giving birth scene in the film was Justin's buddy.
The Viall Files
E906 - Victoria Fuller, Bachelor Finale, Southern Charm, Summer House, Ashton Hall, & Tiger Woods New Boo
That's true.
The Viall Files
E906 - Victoria Fuller, Bachelor Finale, Southern Charm, Summer House, Ashton Hall, & Tiger Woods New Boo
Trying to murder me.
The Viall Files
E906 - Victoria Fuller, Bachelor Finale, Southern Charm, Summer House, Ashton Hall, & Tiger Woods New Boo
Why?
The Viall Files
E906 - Victoria Fuller, Bachelor Finale, Southern Charm, Summer House, Ashton Hall, & Tiger Woods New Boo
You can't get better. You can't get better.
The Viall Files
E906 - Victoria Fuller, Bachelor Finale, Southern Charm, Summer House, Ashton Hall, & Tiger Woods New Boo
Oh, my God.
The Viall Files
E906 - Victoria Fuller, Bachelor Finale, Southern Charm, Summer House, Ashton Hall, & Tiger Woods New Boo
You know?
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
Literally.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
I saw this TikToker, Saatchi, who said, it feels like he's acting. It's a dangerous game that a lot of men will go into where they're kind of telling on themselves for overdoing it. Yeah. In regards to him.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
I was in Target this weekend, Nick, and I saw Sour Candies, and I thought of you, and I was like, should I? I was like...
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
Yeah, did you see Shep Rose is no longer with his girlfriend Sienna? No. What happened?
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
Well, it's not rumored because he confirmed it. He said it. So basically, he was saying how there is this incident where she didn't buy a plane ticket for a trip they were taking. So she was waiting for him to buy it. So then he was like, OK, I'll buy it. And then basically, this is what he said. She said, where I come from, the man takes care of everything.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
That's a bad thing to think and to practice, frankly. So anyhow, I was like, maybe we should take a step back. And she was like, yeah, OK.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
One to clarify. So they took a break because of it. So they might be back together.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
Vanita's not the type to fake, but that scene looked so fake.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
And she was like, I'll jump in.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
He is the executive producer.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
He's part of his own show.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
I think Molly added context on our episode last week where she said everybody's acting like his accident was nothing when it was more than like it was dangerous. So that gives context of like, I think clearly JT looks like he feels invalidated. Like people are looking at him like he's weird saying he's doing stuff he's not doing when it's like.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
But Craig's saying there's an audio or that he said something where we don't even have audio existing of it. It's kind of like now you're gaslighting him.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
Baby bottles. LMAO is also like a no congrats.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
I wouldn't have cried.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
She's a sniper with her words.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
That's all I gotta say. I don't support it, but love her.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
It was the fact that Angie said, oh no, she's crying.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
That's confirmed in the uncensored version on Peacock. Correct. But it's not us.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
We watched the Peacock version. It's a live version that was confusing people because it was a shortened version of the blog conversation at the dinner.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
When she said everybody was reaching out to reality volunteers. Yeah. So it's like they all had a part of it.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
Last season was the only season they didn't, but Salt Lake City, every season, they brought the husbands out.
The Viall Files
E870 - Traitors w/ Wells, Baldoni Keeps Suing, Matt and Rachael Breakup, RHOSLC Finale + Michael Imperioli
Yeah, like Justin and Whitney, but... Because even, like, Mary, like, that was the reason Mary's husband didn't come back, because it was like he didn't like the way they treated him.
The Viall Files
E902 - RHOA w/ Crystal and Cynthia, Dasha, Fantasy Suites, Summer House, Southern Charm & Temptation Island
Bubble gut. Bubble gut.
The Viall Files
E902 - RHOA w/ Crystal and Cynthia, Dasha, Fantasy Suites, Summer House, Southern Charm & Temptation Island
I mean, yeah.
The Viall Files
E902 - RHOA w/ Crystal and Cynthia, Dasha, Fantasy Suites, Summer House, Southern Charm & Temptation Island
Imagine you're Juliana. You finally get your fantasy suite with Grant. And he's just like, oh, no. Excuse me.
The Viall Files
E902 - RHOA w/ Crystal and Cynthia, Dasha, Fantasy Suites, Summer House, Southern Charm & Temptation Island
Imagine you're Juliana. It's like white chick scene. Oh, no.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
The headline was West Wilson of Summer House discusses his first taste of infamy.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Ooh. Because it's like the two fan bases are pinned against each other.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
They did her dirty.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
They voted out Kate Chastain. And then they were like, oh, let's do another person.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
33.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Very funny. What do we think of Joey and Monica who got engaged episode two?
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
No, Taylor Swift is good.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Reputation Era. Do you have a sex playlist?
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
I don't have a playlist anymore, but I'm a big advocate for music.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Yeah, but I also think it's good to be in a movie at some point, like having sex during a soundtrack.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
But I feel like I'm in the movie.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
I think it's giving. She's like, I was sabotaged and I no longer can be here.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
In the teaser, you see Dina even turn on Carolina.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
I'm like, okay. I don't think she's overreacting.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
I think Carolina put the nail in her coffin and she was like, there's no going forward from here.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Somebody flashback last episode of us.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
But his conversation with Dina where she was like, you know, like, I'm here to also take care of us. Like, it's not just you.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Right. Chemistry.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Lindsay's whole rundown of like, so season one, I did this, now season two.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Well, they're bringing in another guy too.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
They're casting, Roni. Yeah, they're casting. So maybe.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Seem fun. I know Lexi was dating Brooklyn Beckham.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Yeah. I saw clips and people were saying people were saying she like downgraded by coming on Summer House.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
I think people love Lexi. She's pretty. She's like flirty. But I mean, it's only one episode of her. I don't think people are really talking about the other friend.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
I will say in the teaser, her making out or doing who knows what with Jesse Solomon is random.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Because aren't they also like dancing in the teaser together? And then I could have seen a make out. I might have made that up in my head, but...
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
He was so real when he walked in. He's like, I'm afraid. I don't want to walk in there. And the producer's like, well, it's normal. Like, you can. And he's, like, avoiding at all costs.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
I love Wes, actually.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Me too.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
He's trying this season, though.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Even when he was like, you know, I had to really give her time for her friends and reinforce her doing what she wants to do. I was like, okay, this is what we needed.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Wow.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Is it because of the body touching? Because that's valid. That's valid regardless of who you are. The what?
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
I want you to define body touching. Skin to skin contact. If someone's bundled up, I'm like, why am I in bed with you?
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
They're just not for me.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
She left the room when he was changing.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
He's also flirting with Molly now. Or maybe not flirting, but like the whole thing.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
That's the next season storyline is them together, right?
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
What I'm saying, they're like, true. He's done with Sienna. That's true. They are broken up in my head now.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Isn't that what Patricia was like or Miss Pat was like Sienna goes after rich men.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E886 - Traitors & SNL50 w/ Cazzie David, Love Is Blind w/ Dave, Summer House Premiere & Valentine's Day
Because Grant was like, you know, like I just want to dress. Like I feel like you're a little apprehensive with kissing me.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
Four or five.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
Nobody else from like the immediate cast. We do have a source that came out and said that a neighbor caught wind of the spat, overreacted and called 911 and that it was a misunderstanding. Well, it clearly wasn't.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
I did also, to answer your question earlier, Nick, I looked up the difference, or a common difference between a felony and misdemeanor battery, and a lot of the times it's physical significant injury or involving aggravating factors.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
Well, this is just a common difference between the two.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
She said James was like one of her sons. Yeah. She said that before.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
Sarah's right, because they were called vampires. Yeah. That they just stay inside.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
There's no Vanderpump next season for him, so.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
Schwartz and Sandy's is closing. Mm-hmm.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
Did you guys see the drones in San Diego?
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
I saw that they were in San Diego. They're in Jersey. Well, maybe there are multiple spots.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
We don't know.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
I also did confirm they've been spotted in San Diego as well.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
I want to clarify too, the marquee diamond is a reference to her song, Good For You, where she says, I'm a marquee diamond. So she's been on it. It was an homage to her music history and what she wants and how she sees herself. Because he listens to her. Exactly.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
You say Patagonia so bougie.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
Her whole family is normal. I'll never forget during COVID when Chappell was released from her record label. She worked at a Starbucks. I did not know that.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
yeah she is one of the hottest music stars in the world right now and yeah so am i and you are one of the new up-and-coming podcasters on the biggest podcast in the world it's basically the same chapel did do an interview recently too where she said that like she clarified chapel roan is a character and she can't always play that character because it is tiring that's exactly how i feel on this her as a person and her family is very normal
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
Good things.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
So we know for a while she had a documentary in 2020 where she basically talked about the child camps that she was sent to. But recently, on a unanimous vote in the U.S. Senate, she got her Stop Institutional Child Abuse bill passed. So now it has to go through the House of Reps.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
She's like, it's our responsibility as adults to not put our children in the hands of people that are exploiting children for money.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
Well, and like Paris has been vulnerable and I think it's her strength in like talking about this because she also talks as the Hilton family in general has spoken on it saying like they thought that this was helping Paris once they realized retrospectively what was happening. It's the exact opposite.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
We have Madonna resharing AI-generated photos of her and the Pope. Tesla's Optimus robots are learning to walk down slopes. Craig and Austin opened their new restaurant, by the way. And then we have Miss Patricia posting a TikTok of her cane tour that she does not have to use.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
Sandy did say that, like, before the experience, it went from him neglecting her to, like, the second they got there, he was love bombing her. So that part is like.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
I was going to say, I think Sandy loves Nick and just doesn't want to hurt him, so she's withholding the truth, which is wrong.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
Like her waiting to say that she kissed JR multiple times.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
That's not love. But it's a common thing where you... And I'm not saying I've done it or that a lot of people do it, but where people say, like, I cared so much about them that I didn't want to tell them the truth to hurt them because it would hurt them more.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
I don't know if you saw, but she did an interview recently in her voice. It was Watch What Happens Live. Her voice is a lot deeper. She talks different. So people are saying that her appearance on the show and the after show is like a character. I believe. I think so.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
She was ordering the drinks at the table.
The Viall Files
E856 - James Kennedy ARRESTED, Tom Sandoval Goes Live, Ultimatum’s Zaina, SNL’s Heidi Gardner, and RHOSLC
Why is he part of the lawsuit? She's going after the show, so he's grouped into the show of it all.
The Viall Files
E918 - Coachella, Liza Treyger, Million Dollar Secret w/ Cara, Kenya v Brit, Summer House & SNL v Aimee Lou
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E918 - Coachella, Liza Treyger, Million Dollar Secret w/ Cara, Kenya v Brit, Summer House & SNL v Aimee Lou
I mean, I'm a huge fan of his.
The Viall Files
E918 - Coachella, Liza Treyger, Million Dollar Secret w/ Cara, Kenya v Brit, Summer House & SNL v Aimee Lou
Did you guys experience an earthquake when you were there?
The Viall Files
E918 - Coachella, Liza Treyger, Million Dollar Secret w/ Cara, Kenya v Brit, Summer House & SNL v Aimee Lou
Well, nice. Well, with that predictability, Leah, maybe you should buy a lottery ticket.
The Viall Files
E918 - Coachella, Liza Treyger, Million Dollar Secret w/ Cara, Kenya v Brit, Summer House & SNL v Aimee Lou
It's hard to fake fall.
The Viall Files
E918 - Coachella, Liza Treyger, Million Dollar Secret w/ Cara, Kenya v Brit, Summer House & SNL v Aimee Lou
Lydia. Lydia.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
There's more movies based on a true story of people corroborating together to create a crime and cover it up and none of those people are going to go on there and be like, you know what? I actually got in a fight with John O'Keefe
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
two months before this happened and i told him to go fuck himself like they're not going to say that getting on a stand so like of course you're not going to know how they actually felt about this person so this these entire group of people that allegedly conspired to kill john o'keefe as they've like looked into their backgrounds fire what if just like shit went awry that night and then they all had to make a pact to be like okay that's called a conspiracy this so they've been what i'm saying is like they didn't call him over to murder him there wasn't a conspire like it was an accident his killing yeah
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
What if his dog attacked them?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
But then what about the Jen McCabe thing and calling and her being on the voicemail, calling her sister, saying somebody's coming?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Right. And I got a free glass of champagne, so. Did you? You're welcome. Period.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
And what they tried to say, there was like a hair that was on it and it was just like a hair blowing into the wind.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
But we can't plant evidence as cops because that would be crazy. I'm not saying, yeah.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I would agree with you if they searched that house that night. But the fact that they didn't because he's a higher up in the police department. says to me that it was like, nope, everything's fine here.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
If there was a dead body in front of my house, there's no way that I could tell cops, you can't come in and look. They're going to get a warrant. They're going to go in. They never attempted to go into that house.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
They probably didn't do their job.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Well, that must be true. Yeah, literally. The best friend. There's an opinion. Yes, the accountant. Fuck the medical. Yes, of course.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Do you have a theory that doesn't prove that she's guilty?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
To you. To you. This is my opinion. I have a question. I don't have to agree. And I don't.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I'm not saying I know she's innocent, but I think she's more so innocent than she is.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Over in Miami? Yeah.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
So after your next session, invite me.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Yeah, her choice is to give men that don't deserve a chance a chance.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I'm like, they were fine in this last episode. She was sitting there drinking a martini in the room chatting. They were definitely looks of like... Just because you work with someone doesn't mean you have to be best friends with them.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I'm not so sure.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Yeah, I'm sure he is. I just spent some time with him in New York. I'm sure he is. And we're talking about it. So I'm like, if they weren't taking the photos together, what headlines do we have?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I thought it was so relatable when you're like laying in bed after bed fast or sleep fast and you were just like, all right, like I've done enough. I miss my dogs. We all sing songs ready to go home.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
On wedding planning?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
OK, you lost me.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
You know? No.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
No. Didn't you go to college for like med school or something? Or didn't you go to med school or something? Kind of. Or applied to?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
And you have one of the best vocabularies on the cast. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
She's making trash. She's selling out Madison Square Garden.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
It was just like, hey, I'm the breadwinner.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
No, she said, why would I have to move when my business and everything's in New York and I'm the breadwinner?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Absolutely not.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
But we love you.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I almost did, and then I was really pissed when I missed it.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Are you in the boys' group chat?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
And maybe saying someone's ex-wife is a prostitute sleeping with somebody for $1,500 a night.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
That's what they said on the ballot. Really? Yeah, because Danny spilled it.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
How do you feel about Jax's podcast?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Is he calling himself out for being a red flag? Oh, yeah. That's his whole thing. The whole thing is him giving women warning signs?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Yeah. It was so good. Did you start season one?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
You've already apologized. You left her on the show.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
How was that?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Very awkward. A lot of awkward silences.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
These girls are.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Was the panel like an upfront or was it a premiere of like a couple of the episodes?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
We're all mad about like the whole Drew and Dennis of it all. And then it's like y'all are sitting down to a meal. But then this weird story of like, I don't know. I wasn't told he was going to be there and he wasn't told Portia was going to be here. But somehow we knew what table to go to, who we were meeting.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Battle of the sexes.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
And Shamia told Angela how she felt. Then Angela got with Portia one on one and was like, just so you know, this is how Shamia feels. But definitely caused more drama than helping patch things up. Because I do love that Angela's like, I like to put everybody together and I like to fix everything. She's like, so just girl, just so you know, your best friend thinks you're talking shit.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Doesn't want to be a lapdog. Literally.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
And I'm also confused. So is Dennis saying that... he's not sleeping with Drew, that Drew's actually sleeping with someone else. But there's a text message that Drew propositioned for free music.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Yikes. So then now she's hooking up with his friend. Because all of this drama was about Drew sleeping with Dennis and filming with Dennis. And now I'm like, wait, are these two separate things that we're upset about? Is filming with Dennis equally as bad as sleeping with him behind your back, if not worse? Because that's kind of what it sounds like.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Maybe.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
That was crazy.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I don't know. Cynthia Bailey already posted her like five.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Doesn't hold up? No. What?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
You have to watch. You have to. It's such a good season.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
When?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Oh, yeah.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I think post pandemic to a lot of people are saving their money and not like going out to dinner and going out to bars and drinking the way they used to.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
That's my princess of choice.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I just had a question because we're watching season six, I think, of Vanderpump Rules on Plus. And they're talking about the negotiation of your deal where it was like a 10% buy-in, then it was a 5% buy-in. Are you still a 5% owner?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
The percentage went up. What does that bankroll look like for you?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I have. Yeah. I like the purple butterfly drink. The Madame Butterfly.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
There you go. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Oh. It's a little sweet for me.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
You're lucky.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I am curious if they have staying power.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Yeah, but it was, like, 1990. It was, like, the first... That's not old school.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Jesse, Jason, Danny, Jax, and Luke. Yep. Luke. Those are your guys.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I have another random Vanderpump Rules question, but applicable to today. What's your technique for your hair?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I was like throughout the seasons, it's different lengths, but it's just like it goes this way.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
He doesn't touch his hair. You're able to like pull on it and then it's still it's very malleable. It's very malleable. It is. Flexible.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I started doing that recently.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
But like when you style it, you just put some like, and then are you just like.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Don't ask him to. It seems like it's going great for him.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I don't know. I think the whole thing is just weird in general. I'm assuming I think Jesse and Lexi showing up together this week was weird. Oh, my God.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Great.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Honestly, the season of Summer House, they are kind of doing the office style where it's like they're keeping in the looks and glances at the camera and it just adds that like perfect.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
No West. Oh, oh. Yeah. And even then I thought it was funny when West was like offering to get Sierra something and she was just like, why is he being so nice to me? Like she's he's been trying to be nice to you this whole summer. You just haven't received it.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
So cute. He went to like cheers. But to go back to your question, I think that like I'm assuming that Jesse must have said something to Lexi. I hate saying these two names together, by the way. But I think Jesse said to Lexi that, like, I'm going to have a talk with Sierra because I feel like that would have sparked something otherwise.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
But I'm like, I do think it's if you want to repair your friendship, then I don't think he's going about it the right way.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Oh, yeah. First thing in the morning. 11 days in, he said he loved her.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Compared her helping his drunk friend to getting his toe sucked. The whole thing. The toe suck. Toe gate. Wait.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
She said, she said.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I was going to say, what percent of rage does that clear out? The one glistening tear. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Tom Schwartz, are we going to get a reboot or a kickback of Winterhouse?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I want a Tom Schwartz dating show.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I want to see you date 20 women at once.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
He could do it for like Amazon Prime or something, like Travis Kelsey, and then he ended up with Taylor Swift.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
You know? Yeah. This is all just for the experience.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
That made headline news.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
It was like in a grocery store parking lot or something. No, it was the craziest dick grab I've ever seen. Yeah, like the whole thing was out.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I'm watching your eyes trying to find a way to explain this, but you can't. I don't know. There's skin.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
What would Jacqueline say?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
So you didn't see that clip?
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
And the second trial is live right now on Law and Crime YouTube.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
I don't think we know enough about him.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
Like a music festival.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
They didn't check the house where the body was found. So what? And whatever happened to him happened inside that house.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
The dog injuries on his arm.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
That he has dog injuries on his arm. That they did not go inside the house.
The Viall Files
E932 - Tom Schwartz, Summer House, RHOA, The Valley, Karen Read, Mother’s Day & Taylor Swift Subpoenaed
She hit him going, what, 10 miles an hour? He's like a six foot tall guy.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Well, speaking of spectacle, did you see that the cop who arrested Justin Timberlake for the DWI was named Officer of the Year?
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
You've never seen it?
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
I've seen a lot of memes. What? You haven't seen the scene? Holy shit. The yacht scene? You haven't seen the scene?
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
The yacht... Well... It's the same thing.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Yeah. Well, Anna is so dry, too, that you can never tell if it's just, like, her sarcasm or if it's, like, a shade or who, you know.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
you know what started off with are you stalking me has turned into the invisible string yeah the uh what does it remind me what the invisible string is again that you always have like a tie to your person like it doesn't have to be romantic it could just be like familiar too but it's like it will always bring you back to the person or like you're meant to eventually meet up with them so that everything clicks where do you think our invisible string is like attached to what do you i don't understand the metaphor it's a taylor swift song
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Well, no. I mean, it's a theory before Taylor Swift. Oh. Yeah. But it's like you guys have an invisible string. We have one.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
To clarify, I think the invisible string is a string to your soul, not a physical part of your body. Oh, for sure.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Is Natalie doing something with your fat ass?
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
100%.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
I think she overtoned it. It was like a color conditioner. She wanted to like be spicy in the moment. The pink or the blonde?
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
She tried to do like the blanket statement because there was one specific text where it was, I told you a lot of the stuff and confidence that wasn't meant for other people to hear. And now I feel like a bad guy. I'm just going to go back to only saying nice things about people no matter what. So she's trying to be like, and that's because everything you said.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
I'm with Sarah on this one. I'm with Sarah as well.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
I think the issue is she felt disrespected.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
I was to say my point was that the only reason he reached out was to rewrite the history of what happened. So I think that's where she was like, you only reached out. And if you look at what Ben said, everything he said was scripted. Like every answer was him saying the same thing, but in a different way using the same buzzwords.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
So it's like she was like, you only reached out to me to like be on the same page, but we're not even on the same page of what happens.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
I also don't think it's like I don't think she's obligated to be on good terms with him.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
I think it was like offered as like, well, if I'm trying to be on good terms and like you automatically have to also be on good terms.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Not that I know of. Usually it ends with drama. Yeah, I think they go on a trip.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Yeah, they just vote.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Remember because the random couple came out of nowhere last season?
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
It was all we know is any drama to do with Ali or 80. Just disregard it when you're watching Perfect Match. Yeah, they're good.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
I mean, I do remember that.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
I'm 11.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
No, she joined season three.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Yeah. Isn't that crazy?
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
The trick is to read the ones you don't like in a bad way so that they can't use it.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
So just to clarify, you did tear down the whole house.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
The art history in me is quaking right now. The what? The art history in me. What do you mean the art history? Because I studied art history and I'm like, you just tore down a whole like artifact of your history. But that being said, it's your history. You didn't buy someone else's house.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
You know what I'm talking about? They said she was a stripper. Mia.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Is there a room for us in this remodel?
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
It was my one show outside of work and now it is work.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Did you notice on Southern Charm, they changed Sienna's lower third her descriptor like really quick from girlfriend to ex-girlfriend in a second of when they like put her on screen?
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
A field trip? I heard we're building rooms.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
The wake up call is to stop buying shark necklaces. I'm sorry.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
It was pretty. Taylor said on the after show that she modeled like for a photo shoot the same Megalodon necklace. Oh. For Shep? Well, just for the brand, I think. And then Shep bought it, unconnected probably, to give to Sienna.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Yeah. Where did I see that before? It looks good.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
And this is Taylor with the same necklace on.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
You have to keep the materials and build something else. Keep the brick and make something else.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
So that's why you lie? No. He didn't go to law school, right? It was a lie.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Wait, Craig has a law practice? I thought he never followed through with it. Wait, so he is a lawyer.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
I thought he never passed the bar exam. This is new news to me.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
$10,000 by just downloading this app.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Maybe he wants to keep it separate from TV.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
That was his own doing, though.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
When he was driving the car himself and it tipped, I think.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
We shouldn't prank the people that orchestrate and use the law against others?
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Look her up.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
She'll call people and be like, I'm in the bathroom right now.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
I mean, I don't agree with her. If I was the four faithfuls, I'd have been like, we have to stay or else one of you guys is getting crucified. Because she was saying that they should do what Trishel and CT do. Where she was like, why wouldn't you just take the money and vote someone out? But MJ got played in that. And I'm like, no, I would do the opposite.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
CT and Trishel.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
That's why you have to be Dolores and go in there and just like tell me right now or not and I'll fucking kill you. Like just tell me are you going to vote me out?
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
He said on an Instagram story, he said, I regret posting a photo with the Tate brothers on an event last night. I was unfamiliar with their content and allegations against them. I only knew them as podcasters that had posted a viral clip about Vanderpump. I have since educated myself and condemned their beliefs. I am sorry to all that I have offended.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Well, breaking news, the second season of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives will launch on May 15th on Hulu. Just announced.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
No.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
I mean, we didn't talk about how Sierra laughed at Wes's joke. And he was like, I feel better now.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Because it was when Kyle was like, I mean, anybody can invest $25,000 into the company. And West was like, I don't have that money right now. And Sierra was like, that's kind of funny, actually.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
I think Kyle was more offended by Paige calling him the dictator of the dinner table instead of Two-Face. He was like, call me that one more time. And she's like, dictator of the dinner table.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Did Kyle get Hannah fired?
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
They said it was disproven in this episode.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
That seems unlikely. I think the history, when I look it up, it looks like the reason people think Kyle got her fired is because she implied that Kyle was the reason she didn't get asked back. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
Lindsay did have the champagne.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
There's absolutely no way he didn't know.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
She got a Bob. She's sassy now.
The Viall Files
E898 - Traitors w/ Britney, Harvey Guillén Talks Bravo, LIB Reunion, Tamra’s Exit, & James Kennedy
She was asked by like a reporter recently, like, did you see that Casey Anthony is giving legal advice? And she was like, I don't think Casey should be giving legal advice.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
What do you mean not allowed to?
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Yes.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Emily has not liked her since last season.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
T. Yeah, Gretchen's new. Unless she knows her from before. Definitely will be watching that.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
And even then, I don't think she was like a villain more so than people were just like upset with her gameplay.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
You know what I mean? Like people don't take it personally the way they do in reality TV where it's like I have a villain and I have a favorite. It's like traitors. You're like, well, I would do things differently, but like I don't hate her.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
I've seen some rumors that Love Island people from season six will be... Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Peacock.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
These bitches are booked and busy. I would not be surprised.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
He said it was scripted.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
But also, he could be lying because he doesn't want anybody to know he's going to be on traitors. Let's not realize people are lying. I feel like that's fair.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Oh, like, yeah.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
And I think people are trying to put a negative spin on him not being a part of the cast like him and Rob. And then Serena was the one that came out and been like, my baby is booked and busy. That's why he's not in there. But he'll be on there supporting me. So I think that she kind of led into it. And then he obviously got interviewed by TMZ and was like, no, I'm on something.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
It's a scripted show. But I'm like, that would also be a good way to divert.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
I'm like, yeah, it was an interview like on the streets that I saw. I feel like Serena said it wasn't traitors. Maybe it's not.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Honestly, wouldn't Rob have been a good contender for traitors? Because he's kind of like straight faced. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Can cry randomly.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Offer.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Oh, a new housewife.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
I'm so excited. I want updates on Lisa Hochstein. I want to know what Alexia Alexia is no longer with. What's his Peter or no? Peter's her son.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Yeah. What's his name? I'd love to see a single Alexia again.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
No, like, you know who you don't do know who I am.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Well, that's embarrassing. Yeah. No, never. We have this thing called humility. Have you?
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
You never walked into a room and said, I'm Nick and I demand this. I don't know if I ever really like say my name. I've never referred to myself in third person. Yeah, I don't think I ever either.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Lala used to do that all the time.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
That's so different.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
No, but Lala used to do that all the time on Vanderpump Rules. She'd be like, you want Lala to pop off?
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Is Lala in the room with us?
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Sierra, what about you? No, we never go to sleep at the same time. He's more of a night owl and I am asleep on the couch. If I watch something with him starting at 830, I wake up at 930 pissed off on the couch and like trudged to bed. Well, you guys have been together for how long?
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Sorry.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
I get pissed at Connor because he cooks. He cooks in our house for us. But he is such a messy cook that like you can literally see all of the ingredients, what went into it, where he did what. And that drives me crazy. But it's also like hypocritical because I don't do the dishes either because I don't cook.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
So I'm like, I can't really say anything, but I walk into the kitchen and I'm like, how did you do this?
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Really? But that's why we're like, we kind of need two shows.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
I just want, yeah, the older people. I will follow Paige doing her Amazon Live. I'll follow Amanda doing her bathing suit line and then coming home to dealing with her DJ boyfriend in her apartment. Like, I would rather see that than, I personally, like, I'm not really invested.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
I was going to say, yeah.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
But he likes to give them.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
That's what he just said.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
At Cracker Barrel. Yeah, exactly.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
How was your first late night experience?
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Are you going to see Thunderbolt? Thunderbolt, yeah.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Is that it?
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
It looks like you'll be in Texas through May 2nd through the 7th.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
You got Nashville. Everyone in the 21st.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
I think it's just that there's more diabolical shit coming from Jesse this season that there's a lot more to talk to Jesse about than there is Michelle.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
divorcees at the top I have questions maybe next onto something and she's like I don't want to have to stare at him the whole time and they're like cool then you can sit at the end and she's like okay I guess maybe a fit was pitched well Jax Taylor doesn't think he was ever supposed to get married okay uh
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
Yeah. And I think that like everybody in Vanderpump was like growing up and settling down and whatnot. So he just kind of felt like this was his next step. I don't know that he ever really should have gotten married, to be honest, just like his behavior didn't really change that much. And as we've seen from the Valley, it's not like he's matured or tried to like really work on his marriage.
The Viall Files
E928 - RHOA’s Angela Oakley, Tucker Wetmore, The Valley Reunion, Summer House & Nat's Last Minute Farm Trip
So I'm like, I just don't think it's something that he ever wanted to do. And then I think it was something that he felt he should do because he was with Brittany and she wanted to get married.
The Viall Files
E878 - River’s 1st Birthday, Traitors w/ Bob Harper, Grammys, RHOSLC, The Bachelor, and Booty Belches
What side? Like central, east coast.
The Viall Files
E878 - River’s 1st Birthday, Traitors w/ Bob Harper, Grammys, RHOSLC, The Bachelor, and Booty Belches
Fresh out the womb.
The Viall Files
E878 - River’s 1st Birthday, Traitors w/ Bob Harper, Grammys, RHOSLC, The Bachelor, and Booty Belches
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E878 - River’s 1st Birthday, Traitors w/ Bob Harper, Grammys, RHOSLC, The Bachelor, and Booty Belches
And she,
The Viall Files
E878 - River’s 1st Birthday, Traitors w/ Bob Harper, Grammys, RHOSLC, The Bachelor, and Booty Belches
She was, huh? Yeah.
The Viall Files
E878 - River’s 1st Birthday, Traitors w/ Bob Harper, Grammys, RHOSLC, The Bachelor, and Booty Belches
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
He pocket FaceTimed. Yes. He pocket FaceTimed the whole thing.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
Which one betrays you the most?
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
Sarah. Yeah. And then it calls. It just calls them. It's not even like, are you sure you want to call that person? It just calls them. And then they call me back. And I'm like, fuck, I haven't spoken to this person.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
Mm hmm.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
Love Island?
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
Maybe.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
You do? No.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
I don't know who he's from.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
There it is.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
It's like, oh, we could get killed.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
Thanks for coming. Thank you. So good to see you. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
Emphasis on humble. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
Thank you.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
They won't bite.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
Yeah, you did.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
No.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
Oh, no.
The Viall Files
E876 - Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Olivia Holt, Rachael Speaks, Bachelor Grant’s Music & 6min Voice Memos
It's not a lack of tech skills.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
I was going to say even as a comparison and everyone knows how I feel about Jesse from the Valley, but I feel like Jesse from the Valley trying to correct his behavior. It very much feels like he's blanketing over everything. It's like, I'm just going to say the right thing. I'm going to act right. I'm going to be like, it's not me. It's her.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
But like, I still have compassion where I'm like seeing Zach's like 180 from season one to season two. I'm like, no, that's a man who's like taking steps to implement into his actions. It's not about what he says.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
It's about how he goes about taking care that that scene where Jen's like going through it and he's got both of their babies and he's just like, all right, let's go say hi to mommy and like that and like keeping everything like upbeat. I'm like. That's like tough times. And that's when you see like like real substance in a person showing up for somebody in their weakest times.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
And that's exactly what I was.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Your man has a reputation outside of you. That's got to be hard to deal with.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
So nasty and so rude.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Yeah. I don't know. I feel like... Because it's kind of like even the summer house Amanda Batula swim. I don't know if you noticed there's no swimwear.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
I feel like it's kind of like get excited because it's gonna come it's happening the idea has come to fruition we just don't have the product or like Carl's soft bar launch it's not gonna be in a van but you're gonna taste it soft bar soft launch well maybe it's just like hey listen can I filming ends in a week yeah
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
She's calling for samples. They're like, girl, you ordered them yesterday. No. She's like, okay. Okay. Pre-launch party.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
2, 1, 4, 3...
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
We actually can't do anything about that.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
How does Steve feel about the fact that he doesn't have his own tattoo? Hmm.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
When you call.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Does she only come when you like walk towards the fridge or where her food is? Like it's time. Not even anymore.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Who let you in?
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Yeah, I've gotten to a point now, I don't know if it's toxic or healthy, that I'm like, I wake up before my alarm goes off. So I don't know if that's my anxiety or like if it's... Totally. So if I'm like, oh my God, no, I rose naturally.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
No. I was going to say, you watch a show on Apple TV Plus, that automatically makes you smarter.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
She like borrowed, what was it? Real Housewives of Salt Lake City star accused of stealing $100,000 from an ailing relative after alleging her bank account was drained. So Britney.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
like with her hundred oh my god singing oh my god but you imagine steel not well i'm sure she doesn't think it's stealing she she says in the complaint a hundred grand sandra 87 accuses britney of using the hundred thousand dollars for her own personal benefit the money was deposited into a trust fund of which britney was named as a trustee back in 2021
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
But she was supposed to be paying that money back. And it kind of feels like she used it.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
You say a limit of $10,000. That means I spend up to $10,000, correct? Yeah.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Like, still having a soul. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
My God, you're an idiot. She's like, that's not what I said at all.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
three hours with demi total so i can't say that we're an expert but we've been we've enjoyed her company okay i think two things can be true i think you can be a good friend and also like somebody i'd never want to work with in a business sense so true you know what i mean like i'm just like she's over here trying to get her friend kicked off the show her best friend jesse first first half of the season second half of the season was taylor's out
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Yes.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
We can disagree. It's okay.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
And then when nobody agrees, they're like...
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
She's like, I'm so disappointed in all of you. And it's just like, girl, you're the only one alone with this opinion.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Also, that scene of Demi yelling at Taylor's mom. Like, I was just like, oh, if you could sleep at night after that performance.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
And, like, the level of delusion of, like, Demi kind of being, like, You know, we have to talk about Taylor being in this group because of the opportunities that she's getting and like she's, you know, getting opportunities before us. And then go back two episodes and it's like Taylor's being flown on a private jet being shown like your group chat messages. Like she's not worried about you. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Like Taylor's the only one flying private. Let's talk about that.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
I don't think I'd have the same... Yeah, it's like, who's going to take Taylor on for season three? Nice try.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Right?
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
We could actually roll a montage. Literally. Tuesday's episode.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
It's like sexy Squidward. Yes.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
I actually do have one complaint for Mormon Wives. My one complaint for Mormon Wives is the ton episode seasons.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
The dropping all at once and also just the fact that there's only 10. I feel like I want a full season.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
22 episodes and then a three-part reunion.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Well, you already teased at the end of the season the fight between Jessie and her husband and then it was this micro clip and then it was like, all right, tune in for season three. And I'm like, I would tune in to 100 episodes of this season. Watch me during Love Island, okay? Yeah.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
wait was that this season or last season no I get that I also feel like we missed so much because like Macy and Michaela posted a video of them being like why do all these girls fight all the time and then they're like us when we're filming and it's them doing like a cute little TikTok but they were clearly like
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
dressed in some sort of hunting garb that like made them both look like the thing and it's all like shaking and whatnot it's like we'll never see that didn't see when that happened what day that was and I want to see it all I want the cutting room floor yeah there's a lot of deleted scenes which like why are we deleting yeah like just add the episode we want it we want it I'm following all of them
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Yeah, it's like, to be fair, as soon as I'm done watching, I'm just going through all of their TikToks.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
My screenshot of the text message where you said, okay, I guess we're friends again.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Can you guys stop talking to each other for one month? One month.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
bleep that period oh my god james charles oh i love that one oh i thought it was like who were robbing oh robbing because it's the purge oh kill yeah james charles the whole point was murder oh yeah did you see him on the red carpet i saw the amas and i was like are you fucking kidding me and no no one took a picture of him
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Don't you tell me your favorite part. This is one of those questions. Do you care what my answer is?
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Have you seen the TikTok trend? That's like the Jaws music. That's like, and it's them like passing across and they get closer. That's giving sheep.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
I was wondering, do you feel – because you were talking about being authentic to yourself and those people shining – I'm like, do you feel like the depiction of you is accurate from like what we've seen thus far on the valley? Because I'm like, obviously, we only get to see like a little bit. So we're all just kind of coming up with who your character is based off of that.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
So do you feel like that that's an accurate read on who you are?
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
But can I ask, because I think this is like where it's getting a little confusing for the viewers, is that it seems that he did do something different by putting himself to sleep and then everyone had a problem with the fact that he was asleep.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Didn't y'all not have doors?
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Yeah, it's like just free-for-all for all the mosquitoes.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Really? Oh, yeah, Mexico. It was great.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Piggybacking off of that, I guess, with Jax's behavior, obviously, the beginning of the season and entering a facility. I know he's out and I don't know what happens for the rest of the season. But how are we handling Jax's integration back into this group of friends? Or are we...
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
Drawing boundaries because if Danny is a fence where I'm like, I feel like what Jax has done is so much worse Definitely worse definitely not even not even comparable.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
You've got Jesse calling his ex-wife a whore.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
No, I'm with you with that.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
No, I've seen his stories and videos, though. And I'm just like his off days. He's just like chilling in a chair on the beach. Just like, hey, I guess I'll do an ad from here. And I'm like, OK, looks lovely.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
I haven't talked to him, but I'm like, from what it looks like, he's tanned, enjoying himself, watching sunsets with the crew. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
because they have doors now it can keep people out so is it going to be like a love is blind apartment situation like somewhere love island love island probably right like how are they going to capture everything and if it's like a hotel like where the where's the like ceremony is going to happen like is it a full-on like hotel like a big hotel or is it like a boutiquey place that has like 20 rooms
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
What about Zach?
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
You're so good at remembering that whole portion of it because every time you say it, I'm like, wait, who? Yeah.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
We don't have time. Fair.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
We're so busy. I'm just saying, if you want to send a placeholder, I can do that for you. No, of course. We also were not invited.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
It's a little bit sad, but like a lot of it. Very interesting. Kind of seeing these dynamics, seeing how like the switch up even instantly from the personalities of like, hey, I'm on this dating show. And then they're like sneaky link walks in and they're like defeated. Like, yeah, I guess I can't be who I want to be here. Like very much watching me.
The Viall Files
E942 - The Valley w/ Janet, Mormon Wives w/ Chris Klemens, RHOA, and Britani Bateman Scammer Allegations
I understand why she wants to get into psychology after watching this because the dynamic human dynamics here.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
As of now?
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
Hands down.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
Oh.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
You think you have more money? It's like asking these questions. Yeah, it is kind of go-dang. But it's like even then where it's like you all got silent and had like a sigh that happened unanimously across the table. Just like, okay, that was just said. And then you have Garcelle somehow still kind of come back to defend Sutton.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
And I'm like, just let these two women work it out if that's what you guys are doing. But defending somebody in this situation, fool's errand.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
super malicious or like I just think that she says things and maybe doesn't think about how it's going to affect somebody or like the question of like the context she just says things so I'm like I understand that she can be offensive but even then she sat there across from Sutton and apologized being like I am so sorry I would love to understand why but you're not even going to take that apology and what did Sutton do not take the apology was that genuine though I don't think she was going to take the apology but like her apology wasn't genuine I loved what she was like okay let's try
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
I don't know.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
I genuinely don't know.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
They've been separated for a while, but the weird thing is that it's not so much even about the fact that Mauricio's seeing other people. It's like the scandal is that he called paparazzi on himself at an airport.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
Was Mauricio not hugging Kyle from crying like two episodes ago?
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
When you met everyone, was there anybody that you were surprised that you talked to in the pods, but you were surprised by like meeting them physically, like what their appearance was versus their voice? Oh, like the guys? Yeah. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
there's a season of Vanderpump Rules where Jax has a girlfriend and he invites her to pizza and then she thinks they're having a date. And he's like, I just, you know, you're going to college. I just don't see myself going with you. You're going to college? She's like going to grad school or something.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
I found his YouTube channel, but it's completely wiped.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
It does exist.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
Apparently, this man would leave his YouTube card for women after he slept with them.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
He made a business card with YouTube on it, his face, and his app, so you can go follow him.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
You said your husband is from Idaho. So how did you end up in Dubai?
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
She said Dylan, Derek, Danielle.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
I appreciate you bringing awareness to that because I didn't know the half of that.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
On Emirates. Ugh.
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
Do you remember in New York housewives when Jussel's husband got a lot of shit because he was about his like points, but he takes the flight to Bahrain to like get a certain sandwich or whatever, but to like up his points, the actual flight is like a hotel. It's like, like,
The Viall Files
E892 - Traitors w/ Chanel Ayan, LIB w/ Lauren, RHOBH, Kate Hudson Flirting 101, and White Lotus
Nobody expected you to babysit that guy.
The Viall Files
E860 Going Deeper with Nick and Sandy - The Ultimatum
But eventually now it's like...
The Viall Files
E860 Going Deeper with Nick and Sandy - The Ultimatum
Sorry. If nothing else. You did make good TV. You're welcome, guys.
The Viall Files
E922 - The Valley w/ Alex Baskin, Mormon Wives Preview, Golden Bach Reveal, Paradise & Making Reality TV
She's so shameless. She's just able to keep coming back. She does not care. The way that I would not be able to handle a whole group of women being mad at me
The Viall Files
E922 - The Valley w/ Alex Baskin, Mormon Wives Preview, Golden Bach Reveal, Paradise & Making Reality TV
And then she just makes a TikTok like... Dancing.
The Viall Files
E922 - The Valley w/ Alex Baskin, Mormon Wives Preview, Golden Bach Reveal, Paradise & Making Reality TV
Yeah. Before we move on from Hulu land, can we talk about how Hannah Brown is joining Bachelor in Paradise?
The Viall Files
E922 - The Valley w/ Alex Baskin, Mormon Wives Preview, Golden Bach Reveal, Paradise & Making Reality TV
I don't understand.
The Viall Files
E922 - The Valley w/ Alex Baskin, Mormon Wives Preview, Golden Bach Reveal, Paradise & Making Reality TV
Great start.
The Viall Files
E922 - The Valley w/ Alex Baskin, Mormon Wives Preview, Golden Bach Reveal, Paradise & Making Reality TV
Literally.
The Viall Files
E922 - The Valley w/ Alex Baskin, Mormon Wives Preview, Golden Bach Reveal, Paradise & Making Reality TV
Did you just coin a new term?
The Viall Files
E922 - The Valley w/ Alex Baskin, Mormon Wives Preview, Golden Bach Reveal, Paradise & Making Reality TV
I have a question. Natalie, does it bother you when Nick gets sick? He doesn't really get sick.
The Viall Files
E922 - The Valley w/ Alex Baskin, Mormon Wives Preview, Golden Bach Reveal, Paradise & Making Reality TV
Yeah, just Brennan. Normie.
The Viall Files
E922 - The Valley w/ Alex Baskin, Mormon Wives Preview, Golden Bach Reveal, Paradise & Making Reality TV
Can I have a hug? You can have a handshake.
The Viall Files
E922 - The Valley w/ Alex Baskin, Mormon Wives Preview, Golden Bach Reveal, Paradise & Making Reality TV
No words.
The Viall Files
E922 - The Valley w/ Alex Baskin, Mormon Wives Preview, Golden Bach Reveal, Paradise & Making Reality TV
Sometimes I wonder how people like get over these kinds of fights, like in reality TV across the board in general, like how people get through it. And it's like, yeah, we're good now. It's like, how?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Martha Stewart. Yeah. You know, this happens all the time. So it's a bit hypocritical given the potential length of time he would have to face.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I don't know. I feel like six months for accidentally firing a gun would be like the max.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
You know, no one got hurt.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It does. I'm biased. Rocky told a judge he respectfully declined. So he's a gentleman.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Yeah. I. It's not the guy you guys should be going after.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Team A$AP and Rihanna. Fuck this judge.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Is the song out?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Do you even know the name?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Out of respect.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Okay.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
You know who we need to come after or go after? Who? Girl Scout Cookies.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
So there's this story that just came out of this woman who's a manager of a team. And one of her employees below her was selling Girl Scout Cookies for his daughter. She basically asked the person... Like, I have celiac disease. Are there any cookies that don't have, like, gluten in them? Like, I just want to make sure. He was like, no. The Girl Scout cookies. The Girl Scout cookies.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
She didn't buy them. And basically, he started going around behind her back and calling her stingy, comparing her to, like, the previous boss or manager that would buy cookies. And to me, I'm just like, okay.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
and a gluten and he was like just stingy bitch but also I don't want to buy your fucking cookies maybe he got off a four day water cleanse and decided to not eat sugar for a while and realizing that if he were going to buy the cookies he would fucking eat them just because you have a fucking kid
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And listen, if River wants to join Girl Scouts and sell Girl Scout cookies, we'll do the parental thing and go around and ask people want to buy the cookies. But I'm not going to stomp my feet and storm off if someone says no and act like they're a monster because they don't want to support my child. It'll be a great opportunity to teach my kid disappointment.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It's no one's fucking job to support your kid. It's for the children. There's a million people out there. It's not my job to support your fucking kid.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
The kid's not even there. No, the parent, no. I'm guaranteed this is one of those parents that goes around. This parent does their kid's science project for sure because they want to put their kids like fucking gold star on their fridge and they want to go to their friends' parties and brag about their kids because they sold the most fucking cookies.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Because I hate parents like this.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
No, I'm passionate about parents who use their kids to make other people feel bad because I don't want to buy your cookies.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Do you buy them outside of the grocery store?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I've bought plenty of Girl Scout cookies because I love Girl Scout cookies and I'm happy to support, but it's not my job or responsibility to do that. People are acting like we're donating to a tragedy. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Did they? About Girl Scout cookies? About Girl Scout cookies, yeah. What? See, I'm so smart. It's the boss or something, and it's competing Girl Scout groups that have to sell more cookies. Oh, yes. Did you not know this? And they have a full fight scene.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And does she play a bossy troop leader? She turns the Girl Scout group that's unpopular into a multi-million dollar company.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Sorry for my F words.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
what's going on everybody welcome back to another episode of the vile files reality recap edition i'm your host nick and uh well justin released a video we've officially reached the stage of people have uh cemented themselves in the position that they uh have it really feels like
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Clearly you can't listen to this with your kids in the car.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I did ask a Girl Scout once. I went up to her table and they're expensive, first of all. So I was like, if I'm going to pay $7 for a box now when it used to be $4, I'm going to ask you about the cookie. So I was like, is this the original formula of the lemonade cookies?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
She gave me a speech of nonsense. You asked the kid this? Yes, I did. Okay, you're a monster.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I was being nice and I also wanted to know if all the icing was still on the cookie.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
To be clear, my opinion is strictly based on the fact that this is an adult, a conversation between two adults and a kid wasn't present and this is an adult who showed up to work and demanded all of his coworkers buy his kids cookies.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Sure. Great. No, help your kid out. But when one person, whether they have celiac disease or they just don't want a cookie, like times are tight.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
What?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Yeah. You don't get to go around and like start talking shit just because they don't want to buy your kid's cookie. Ask another person.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Go hang out outside of the vending machine and wait for the person whose cookie gets caught in the vending machine. They lose their fucking mind. They start shaking it. Go sell to that person. Lay off the person who doesn't want to eat your cookies.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I'm strictly off sugar if you guys can't tell.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
To answer your question, Natalie, she gave me a long speech on nonsense, but then I bought two boxes. I was like, good for you, girl.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
So you were testing her. As a former Boy Scout, I was like, I know the hustle. And I was like, let me just hear because inflation has made these cookies expensive. And she got more money out of it. Your intentions were pure. Yes, they were.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It makes sense, but keep her off.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
From a TV standpoint, I hate that I agree with it. I don't think she deserves any more TV time.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And for that reason alone, I'm kind of into it.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I feel like this whole episode could have been avoided. Maybe it's just every housewife fight, but all it takes is, listen, I'm sorry. My intentions weren't to hurt you. My intentions weren't to be disrespectful or go behind your back. But I do understand how it can come that way, Dorit. But Kyle just can't do that.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
She just can't just acknowledge that Dorit has every right to be upset regardless of what Kyle meant or what actually was texted. She's supposed to be your friend. They're going through a divorce. You've admitted it would bother you. What am I missing?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I get why his team released a video, though. And it seems to be you know, a continuation of their playbook. Because by releasing the video, it allows people to do what they're doing, which is to decide for themselves whether what they're seeing would make them uncomfortable, right?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And Erica's only motive is because like, obviously she went through what she went through and she was pretty wrong, especially when it came to the earrings and she never wanted to acknowledge that. So her whole motive is because she didn't want to acknowledge her wrongdoing. And that's the only reason why she seemingly is backing Kyle is to is to protect herself.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It's self-serving. I respect her, though. Well, because she's like, when saying it, she's like, I don't want someone to be ganged up on on a group of women when it's like I was in that position as well.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Kyle showed up at her house post-surgery to try to manipulate Bose into believing her. Kyle's the one who inserted Bose.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I mean, either way. Either way, fine. Forget about post-surgery. Kyle went to Bose to try to get Bose on her side. And she's the one who brought Bose into the drama. And Bose isn't buying Kyle's bullshit. Yeah. And so, yeah, is it a little messy for Bose to say, show me the text?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
But again, Kyle is adamantly trying to convince these women that she's not wrong and to take her side and they're not buying it. So they're like, well, fine, prove it to us. If you want us to back you up and believe you, you have to show us, you know? So I don't know. I don't have a problem with it.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And so now they're watching it, and a lot of people are watching it, maybe through the lens of, you know, putting themselves, imagining that they would be actors with Justin Baldoni. It's just like, well, I don't know, if I was doing a scene, like, I don't know, what is he so bad? It's like, it's as if people...
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I got your back going forward. That was wrong of me. If it were me, I'd be upset. So I totally get it. End of conversation. That's literally all that has to be said.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
She did blame production, too, which was interesting.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Regardless of our success, do you think we'll ever buy our kids a luxury car?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
They had to? Yeah. Couldn't she have just gotten a job? I hate that it makes so much sense.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
My mom works in schools and you'd be shocked that a lot of kids are named after like STDs.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Because their parents don't know and like they sound pretty outside of the context of what they are. Chlamydia? Chlamydia has a ring to it. Chlamydia is kind of pretty.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I do think I remember a story of a kid named, it was Gonorrhea, but her name was Gonorrhea or something. It's pronounced always more elegant.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I think so. Is there something else we missed out?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
No.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Is she? I don't know. And she owns an American icon TV show. Yeah. Good for her. Up next, we have the legendary Mayim Bialik with us. You know her from Blossom and Big Bang Theory. And she is going to break down some of the Bachelor bios. And then after that, we have a couple of the DSs from Special Forces. Billy and Rudy are with us.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
expected to see a video like short of them seeing a video of justin like groping blake or you know throwing his tongue down her throat and having her push him off you know and things like that it's going to allow people to claim that she's overreacting or that they don't know what they are seeing and i don't know what it's like to be in y'all's position
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I'd love to get their take on some of the women on the upcoming season of The Bachelor, which premieres Monday? Next Monday? Next Monday. All right, well, we'll see who they casted up next.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
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The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
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The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
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The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
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The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Maya, welcome to the show.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
So excited to have you.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I've been a fan of yours for a long time.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I'm old enough to know Blossom.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Yeah. So you were like a huge star in my household growing up. Well, thank you. I guess just to start there, I mean, you've had obviously such an illustrious career in Hollywood. What has that been like? I'm always kind of fascinated with people who their whole lives has been kind of in and out of this kind of crazy world.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Okay, yeah. With Blossom, I was a big fan of Joey. And that was when I would tie the flannels around the waist. I would steal my sister's flannel just so I could do that. It was the look.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
What did you get your PhD in?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
You're just like, well, I used to act and I am also a PhD.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It wasn't like, you're set for life and you never have to work again. What were your hopes or expectations when you got back in? Was it like, maybe I'll just do some commercials? Because, you know, you could just get a couple gigs and get insurance.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And then how many more seasons after that? I mean, you really became a focal point.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And it was, at the time, it was the number one show on television.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Yeah, she was catching shrapnel.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
As a dyslexic person watching it, I was always like, I don't know how you do that.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
All my friends I've talked to about this seem to have similar opinions than us. I mean, I would be interested to talk to someone who disagrees with us and their take. What I struggle with, and you all make obviously great points, But let's say we were a fly on the wall, right?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Going forward, do you see yourself using your acting skills or PhD skills more in the future? Or both, maybe.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
We need a new Bill Nye, you know? We do. He's overstayed his welcome.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Makes sense. You're an actual scientist, too. I only say that because, and I love her, but my sister was a biology major and, like, worked in a lab for six months. And to this day, she still refers to herself as a scientist. Anytime...
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
She also refers to herself as a sommelier because she sold liquor for a year.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And regardless of what Blake feels about Justin, that from our perspective, everything Justin did from the scene to the phone call to her trainer, the alleged comments about his porn addictions, let's say none of that would have offended us or made us feel uncomfortable. Let's say we were just like, I don't know. I don't see what the big deal is.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Anytime you just have a discussion, I'm a scientist.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It's like, okay. You took one more class than me.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Well, we thought it would be fun. I know you're not a pop culture fan, but since we wanted to hate pop culture, I'm not very literate since you're a PhD and you don't need to be since you're a PhD. We love to use your PhD every this time going into the bachelor season. The bachelor releases the bios of the upcoming contestants. They always have these bizarre random facts about them.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And we just like to decide who we think is might go further than the other. There's no wrong answers.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Ooh.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Yeah, I think so.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
25 to 30 women will be trying to get engaged to this man. Okay. In less than nine weeks.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
You're not familiar with the format at all.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I was on it once.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I think that's a requirement.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Yeah, for sure.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
You look healthy. There were plenty of people who didn't think I qualified. Why?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Everyone's a critic.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Yeah, no.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Based off my looks. No, they didn't think I looked the part.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
What's the premise? Yeah, 25 to 30 women show up. Okay. And night one. Okay. You know, they come out. Sometimes people, like myself, I blacked out and was really nervous. Some people hang glide down, you know. Some people show up in a suit.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
The producer is like, so what do you want to do? I'm like, well, I was just kind of like,
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
introduce myself they're like well you know we could you know we're not sure but if you want to like you know parachute in or something like you never know like we all I do is ask so sometimes they will do a stunt that was their way of saying you're not memorable enough in your face they want like a big actually one producer literally said that um
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And they get night one anywhere from zero seconds to two minutes of time to make a connection. One person gets what's called the first impression rose. They're safe. And then at the end of the night, the bachelor gets a bunch of hands out roses. And if you don't get a rose, you go home.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And then the final four weeks, there's what's called hometown weeks where the final four, you get to meet their families. Yeah. And then it's super weird. This is the worst because then The Bachelor has to fake ask for the blessing of a bunch of people he has no intentions of getting engaged to.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
What I still struggle with is what seems to be really concrete evidence of Justin's intentions to, in his team's words, destroy Blake and attack her credibility and hire this crisis PR team and hire this team. Again, that clearly laid out their roadmap of how they plan to go about doing exactly what they're doing online. And that's the part I struggle with. It's like the retaliation part.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And then the third week, it's called Fantasy Suite Week, and you have an overnight off-camera.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Sometimes the sex, sometimes not the sex.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
We've been hoping, you know?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
On my season, there were a couple covers, I think like Star Magazine or whatever are in touch claiming that I might have gotten one of the people pregnant. Yeah, that was a rumor.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
No, the Bachelorette season. It was like, I was the runner up. Runner up got, you know, that was the in touch week.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
We don't know.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
She's no fun. I love her.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Hey, Allie Jo.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
That means he works at Rumble.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Oh. Or wants to be with someone. Or Grant better have.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It's a positive thing. I mean, I think there only could be one way.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
She was definitely up there for me.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I don't mean to be mean, but this screams basic all the way down the board.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Well, is she there for the right reasons, though? Because if she knows about social media, it probably means she's... Is she really there for love or is she there for the followers?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Does she already have a blue checkmark?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
She dreams of seeing a polar bear in real life.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Has she ever been to the zoo?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
If you're on Justin's team, it feels like every time he releases something, it seems like his side's like, oh, smoking gun. And then you have Blake. What was the statement that Blake's team made?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Even if you disagree with her interpretation of everything, what seems to be clear is his spitefulness and his willingness to invest and spend a lot of money on retaliating against Blake. And to me, that's the part that she is fighting the most. Back to what I said on Tuesday. it seems like Wayfair fronted the money. Wayfair made the most money.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Really?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
If it has a picture, it's giving Cheesecake Factory, and I don't want to be there.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Maybe.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
She would not. Nikki would gross anyone. We'll have Nikki on and maybe we'll get Carolina on and maybe we'll make her dream come true. Chloe with an I. Chloe's got an extra vowel. In the slightest possible way, doesn't Carolina kind of give a little Sarah Paulson? Oh.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Friend of show.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
There should be a little shame.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Very Kirsten Dunst vibes. Very Kirsten Dunst. Spoo also was in Fargo.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Season two? I don't know.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Screams teacher's pet. I'm the best at being organized.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
They're not reading... She needs some smut in her life.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I think it is a coincidence.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Well, you had it before you met me, which means it's a coincidence. Oh.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Or just manifestation.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It sure seems like to me that she had the most to lose and very little to gain. You know, when this all happened in August and the internet turned against Blake, we said what we said. Everyone told us we were wrong. And then we all kind of, we all moved on. You know, everyone kind of moved on. The movie came out. You know, it was, it was,
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Is there loud music playing?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Oh, she wants to build an empire like Kris Jenner.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I'm very interested in this Uganda period in her life.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Uganda.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I honestly personally wish Pearl Harbor would have gotten more of the history of Pearl Harbor, less the love story, but that's just my take on the movie.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
By whose standards?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I do think hiking's a bit overrated. So do I. Especially in LA. People talk about hiking as if it's like some sort of...
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And how committed is she really if she's gone?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
done and then obviously this all came up and reignited this whole thing but you know it seemed like her desire i would think to fight this like she had to just figure out like what was she going to gain from this because you would think bringing attention to this and causing the drama would again make the movie more popular, make Justin and Wayfair more money.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
They love the healthcare industry on The Bachelor. A lot of nurses typically, you know. I mean, if they can get a doctor, they'll take one.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I took geology freshman year of college, and I thought it was going to be rocks for jocks. Hardest class ever.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I just, my professor was like, he just was all over the place. And I was like, what am I supposed to take notes on?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
That's true. Yeah. We took a field trip. Doesn't she have an intense gaze?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
That track's based off her gaze. She's just looking right at you.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
In what world does TikTok make you relax?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Oh, okay. I do like their cooking videos.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It's giving potential freak out night one.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
On my season of The Bachelor. So like, you know, all the contestants will like... go to the producers, like, do you like my dress? And so the producers, I refer to them as the friend who wants you to buy the boat.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
You know?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Not really there for good advice, but they're there to encourage you to... Enthusiastically. ...to, you know, whatever direction you want to go, they're there to make you feel good about it. So, like, half the women came out in red dresses... And you just knew that they were like, this is the dress I want to wear. And any other real friend would have been like, you know, maybe different color.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
But they were all like, for sure, yes, red. So then they could all freak out about how they were wearing red dresses.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Great films.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
What was she going to get out of it other than just to, you know, defend herself? And clearly like this has cost her a ton for the people who are just like vehemently against her in writing for Justin. How do you answer those questions? That's what I struggle with.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
There's a tennis court like in every neighborhood.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Yelling at each other, screaming.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Like real wrestling, not the fake stuff.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Kelsey. Juliana.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Where's Grant live? Currently lives in Texas. Oh.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Who's your villain?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I'm sure the trolls will have no problem arguing with me, but they don't really, they're just telling us how wrong we are. They just tell us that like, oh, we need to read the complaint.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Yeah. And as a boxing trainer, very vocal, very like, isn't afraid to speak up. That can definitely rub people the wrong way in a house like that. Okay.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Well, until hometowns.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Because then it's all about love.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Well, best of luck to all these ladies. Sure. I mean, I know their season's wrapped, but in our minds. We look forward to seeing how their love unfolds on Tuesday.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
We'll talk about it on Tuesday. Mayim, this has been so much fun.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Thank you for taking the time. Really fun. Anything you want to plug, promote, put out there?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Well, thank you for taking the time.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
All right, well, that was a lot of fun with Mayim. We love a good Bachelor roundup, especially with someone who's never seen the show. Tons of fun. We love her. Up next, very excited about this. If you aren't watching Special Forces, you are definitely missing out. But two of the DSs, Rudy and Billy... Two men who kicked my ass for a week of my life are with us. They have some amazing stories.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
We've read all the complaints, including the Stephanie Jones one, which no one's talking about, which includes so many text messaging conversations that like, from my point of view, seem fairly damning against Justin and his team. But I don't know. People clearly are cherry picking. People have clearly decided where they stand. I don't know. So.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
They are the most dynamic. And, you know, if you're watching Special Forces and you see them yelling at people like Cam Newton and myself and Tyler, they are just big old teddy bears with some fascinating stories and some great life lessons. So they're up next.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Caraway, we've talked about their amazing pots and pans for years now, and that's because every night Natalie and I are cooking on Caraway and you should be too. What's crazy is how many pots and pans are out there that you can buy that are not safe for you and your family. They are full of PFAs, PTFEs, and other hard to pronounce, not safe products.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
chemicals but not with caraway it's non-toxic cookware it's easy to clean they look great they come in an assortment of colors that are easy to store we have the ceramic and the stainless steel set we love caraway so much so that we made sure that also at the lake we had a caraway set so that we could be sure they were cooking on caraway even when we're at the lake caraway is cookware
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Set is a favorite for a reason. It will save you $150 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit carawayhome.com slash V-I-A-L-L 10, you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. This deal is exclusive for our listeners. So visit carawayhome.com slash V-I-A-L-L 1-0 or use code V-I-A-L-L 1-0 at checkout. Caraway non-toxic cookware made modern.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Billy, Rudy, welcome to the show. It's great to finally have you on. It's great to be here.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I feel like I'm a little bit of the driver's seat after being afraid of you guys for a long time.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Baldoni's team is also planning to make a website now with relevant videos and correspondence to the lawsuit, which is interesting.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
That one made some waves. Trippy.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Schwartz. Yeah. His friend has been looking after Tom for a while.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
But like these relevant videos, like one one text message that was talked about all over the Internet was this text message from Blake to Justin saying, where she like, you know, kind of bizarrely claims that she's like this Game of Thrones fan. And there's this, you know, implication that she's alleging Taylor Swift is one of her dragons and things like that.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Everyone carries the same. They don't play favorites. It's really wild.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
For my audience, can you guys talk a little bit about your background in terms of your military experience and the places you guys came from? Do you want me to go first? Yeah.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And yeah, like when you read it, it kind of like, it seems a little kooky, maybe a little weird, but everyone's just focusing on that and deciding that like what they think of Blake is the person. And again, like, I don't know. It seems like people are losing sight of that. I do know that like going forward,
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
If you are a woman in the workplace and you feel uncomfortable from a man in power, what is going on right now, I don't see how any woman going forward would feel comfortable speaking up because clearly there is a very clear playbook now to how to fight against that. I don't know. We feel how we feel. Again, my opinion is strongly based off my interactions with Justin. Yeah, I don't know.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Weren't you in POW?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
What does POW mean? Prisoner of War.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
On the show, the final phase is to simulate potentially getting kidnapped, and Billy's instructing us, and we come to find out he's speaking from a real-life personal experience, while we're just kind of simulating it. He's like, no, I literally know what it's like to be in this situation.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
How did you end up getting out of those situations?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
What else we got?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Ashley and Tyler from Love is Blind last season are officially split.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
They are awfully quiet. I do know that neither of them want to comment on it going forward other than the comment that Ashley made, which was pretty vague and generic.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I was going to say she did do a statement to people if we want to read it.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It was like she made a difficult decision. What was it?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Based on that, sounds like she caught him in a lie.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Well, she wrote hard for him. She came on this show, and she was fighting with the entire internet. And she was very adamant about believing him and trusting him.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Billy, you kind of got into entertainment as a bodyguard for some of the bigger A-list celebrities.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
So it probably didn't even have to be a big lie. It just probably was just another little who knows.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Or maybe it was a big lie. I don't know. But they are over.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It's an experience I'll never forget. I remember the mirror room. It was the two of you in it. And I was definitely at my breaking point. But it was at a point where you, you, you know, you guys were kind of, first you were playing bad cop. You were kind of playing a little nice cop.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It's okay, young man. But then at the end, I was like, what the fuck, man? And Billy looked at me and he goes, you can finish this. If you want to, you can do it. And at that moment, I was ready to be done.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
As soon as he told me I could finish, I was like, I'm not quitting.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It is a family show. A lot of parents with young kids will come up to me, and they're the ones who, you know, you don't know who's watching it, but it's a lot of families.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
We got to get him. I just want to point out that how many people on this team have access to my Instagram?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
One, two, Zach. I don't know, three or four people? Yeah, but like- I put a lot of trust in you guys.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I saw it in myself. You start being like, well... Like you said, I did enough.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It would have been a waste for you to walk away at that point. Oh, I mean, I... For you. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Before we let you guys go, we were talking last night and you have five kids, right? Six. Six. Five daughters. Five daughters.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And you told a very personal story to me. I'd love if you could share that night at the bar and your daughter pick you up.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Also, he does also- Just saying, it's not that crazy to think that he has a team. I'm pretty sure someone on his team has access to it.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
What are the odds that River grabs her phone and unfollows Nick, though?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Well, thanks for sharing that, man. It's a great story. It's a great lesson. And I could talk to you guys for hours. I know you got to get going.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It's an experience I'll never forget. And I hope people keep watching Special Forces because it's so fun to watch. You learn a lot. It's great to watch with your family. And, yeah, it's been, like I said, I'll never forget it.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
That's exactly like the military. Yeah, we keep in touch. We had Brody. Brody, yeah.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
She's very... Sometimes I will say things happen and you're like, fuck. If that got out, no one would believe that.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Keep doing great things while you're doing it. Likewise. Plug the show. When's it on?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
All right, see you later. All right, well, those guys are a trip.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Oh my God, yes. I could just talk to them for hours.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Literal life and death. Rudy was a world champion kickboxer before he even entered the military. It's like after he accomplished that. Anyways, it's crazy, but it's so fun to have him. It definitely brings me back. All right, well, let's wrap up with a little Southern hospitality. This show's pretty good. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It's never good when you have two bros telling you how bad you are to your girlfriend.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Like never.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
She likes buttons. She loves buttons. She's drawn.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I'm going to go on a limb and say they don't end up together.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Well, Will and Emmy did not show up to the premiere party. Both of them? Both of them didn't show up. But Emmy did clap back online on Twitter saying, guys, you're with the family. It was nothing. It was nothing.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I'm just saying, they're not built to last.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
For love.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
get into the joe bradley and tj drama yeah what do you think i think tj is messy and i think what he did was really unfair to joe bradley i mean i think of how many people we talk to on the show you know what does it mean when he looks at my instagram story it's just like if you have a crush on someone you read into every little thing and i just think it's a kind of softly accuse him.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Not even softly.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
She turned on this... It's so annoying. She turned on...
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
There's that. And then saying he's let him on and things like that. And it's just like, you know, Joe seems like he consumes alcohol a decent amount.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Joey Bottles. In his words, he was blacked out. I mean, I've never blacked out, but I know I have friends who've blacked out and they don't remember. They black out. They don't remember anything. I mean, I have some friends in college where like they just became different people.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
He said he blacked out, but then he also said he remembered like rolling over and cuddling. So that's where it's like there's a little bit of a discrepancy in both stories.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
it's really fucking annoying because I can't figure out how to turn it off it's like the voice command oh no so every button you push it's like Netflix and it's a computer like volume 24 volume 25 volume 26 volume 27 and then you try to turn it down volume 24 volume 23 and you're like fuck maybe she's an auditory learner maybe but I can't figure out how to turn this thing off
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
That doesn't mean anything. You're smirking.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
No, I'm not smirking. I don't believe in accusing people of like what their sexuality is. And TJ is for sure messy. But I can also see that there might be a world where like that friendship breakup in quotes is more blown out of proportion than it would be if it was literally just a friend breakup. Yeah. Like there might have been some emotional connection.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
But that's TJ's perspective though. Joe doesn't seem like he has a problem being his friend.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Joe won't even stand next to TJ in a room.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Maybe that's because TJ's gotten so fucking weird around him.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
But at Lake's lake house, like even Joe's like avoiding him in the pool. So I just see that there might be another world.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And can't be Joe be upset because he lost a friend? Yeah, he can be. Yeah, he can be.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Where is the continuity in TJ telling Joe that he was in love with him?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
That changes my perspective a little bit of like he knew TJ was crushing on him. So for me, I would pull back at that point if I wasn't interested.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
That's where I know like this is not a friendship to him.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I just think TJ's real messy. He's very messy.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Well, sure. Anytime feelings get involved, period, it gets complicated. But whether it's a gay person, a straight person, or a man and a woman who are both heterosexual and one person thinks they're friends, oftentimes when a man and a woman are seemingly platonic friends, there's often one person who feels a little bit differently about that.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
But the other person has the most pure of intentions and just wants to be their friend. They just don't think of them romantically. Like at all. And the person who has feelings, they start getting weird. They, you know, they start thinking, I don't know if I can hang around them anymore because they have feelings.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
But like the person who just sees it as a friendship, like, you know, what are they supposed to do? And again, they, they value the friendship. They could, More than the loss of a friendship, but just the way TJ delivers it is if Joe was supposed to do something differently, and his big moment is a time in which Joe was blacked out, which is just like, okay, well, that's all you're going on?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And again, it was just a cuddle? Is it that hard to believe that Joe rolled over, put his arm around whoever he was in bed with, and there's nothing to read into?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I'm pretty good.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
And then Nick, in your defense, I do see like TJ does. And I've only seen this season look desperate that he's reading into both Michaels and then also Joe Bradley. And he's making these into I don't like you, but then I do like you. And now you're in the wrong. But like, I'm not in the wrong. I'm the victim. But then also you did me wrong. So it's like, yeah, he's just messy at the end of the day.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It's like when his feelings are hurt, he's immediately the victim in his own little world.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
But he's good TV.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
The my favorite, the good character, but bad character, you know, Lisa Barlow plays a good character on TV. Maybe not have the most good character of the human.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Are people just getting hats? I don't think Justin Bieber got in a fight with Hailey and unfollowed her out of heaviness. No.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
What bodies of water can be names other than river? Lake. Ocean.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Ocean. Cloud. It's not a body of water.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Storm.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Pond. Reservoir.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Pond.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Stream.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Swamp. Lagoon. Lagoon. Lagoon by all. Rain.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Rain.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Bayou.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Abyss.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Pacific.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Atlantic. Atlantic is cute. Drought. Drought. Well, that's Pacific. That's cute, though. Pacific, Bayou. Mississippi. Mississippi.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Is that the first name or is that a first and middle name? Middle name.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Fish tank.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Stream could be cute. Stream.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Wait, so he was taking a nap while the story was posted?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Mist.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Fog.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
She is cool. Yeah. Her family is clearly... She's rich as fuck.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It's not bad.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
If I'm going to spoil my kids, it's going to be giving them opportunities to go abroad.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It will not be buying them cars after their name.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
bodyguards billy billy we got it we got a guy uh all right well that will do it for this episode thank you to our special guest mayim bialik and billy and rudy make sure to check out our special going deeper episode with brody jenner that came out yesterday also check out reality recap below tuesday if you haven't it's a wild wild episode say hi to your friends we love you all right bye see you monday bye
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
It's like you can't even be genuine because they must be so in their head about how the Internet expects them to act.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I'm definitely over the oligarch.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Do you think he thought she was hot or not?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
That was the first app he created. Hot or not? That's the MySpace days.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Do you think Jeff called him up and was like, bro?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
He was like, I was running an algorithm and I was like deep in thought.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Have we not learned peripherals exist for a reason? Give it a glance, look away. He was staring. I think the whole thing is a still photo. But he looked twice in the video.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
In the video, yeah. He definitely looked twice. He's caught in a look.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
That he carries a prop gun for like self-defense. Yeah, that's what his attorneys are saying. And then, but it fired. So those details we don't know. Basically, the judge isn't like he's strong on like we're not going to let fame protect this man. Like we need a quick speedy trial.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I mean, he was given a plea deal of six months in prison. I imagine if he was well behaved, that would be even less. And he's like, fuck that. Let's go to court. And he's facing up to 24 years in prison. That's a big bet. That is a big fucking bet.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I mean, I'm not saying I'm in no position to say, hey, just do the time. I don't know what it's like to go to prison. I can't imagine. It's fun. But again, it's a big bet.
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
Like a bling. Is there any evidence to the contrary?
The Viall Files
E872 - Bachelor Cast w/ Mayim Bialik, Baldoni Footage, Special Forces Billy + Rudy, LIB Split, and RHOBH
I don't think anyone would think that 24 years in prison would be a fair punishment for this alleged crime regardless. So I do think it's ironic that the judge is pointing out that Aesop is not going to get any favoritism because of his celebrity. But it's well known that district attorneys and politicians will go after public figures to set an example to make a name for themselves.
The Viall Files
E938 - Mayci And Layla, Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives And The Valley Deep Dive
Sisterhood.
The Viall Files
E938 - Mayci And Layla, Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives And The Valley Deep Dive
It's reality gold.
The Viall Files
E938 - Mayci And Layla, Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives And The Valley Deep Dive
This is Macy's Sunday Sinners or Sinners for Sundays. They had it last season when Taylor, the Dakota rumor, came from a Sunday sinner thing.
The Viall Files
E938 - Mayci And Layla, Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives And The Valley Deep Dive
Paused.
The Viall Files
E938 - Mayci And Layla, Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives And The Valley Deep Dive
Alex Baskin did put all that to silence, though. Yeah, he put that to bed. Oh, he did? It's just insiders who could be anybody saying this.
The Viall Files
E938 - Mayci And Layla, Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives And The Valley Deep Dive
All I said was last season she had a lot of fans. Did she? She did. You can literally search on the internet. She had a lot of people loving her until the season finale where she was evil.
The Viall Files
E858 - The Ultimatum w/ Aria, James Kennedy’s Pathetic Response, Aaron Rodgers Shades The Bachelor & RHOBH
100%.
The Viall Files
E858 - The Ultimatum w/ Aria, James Kennedy’s Pathetic Response, Aaron Rodgers Shades The Bachelor & RHOBH
Ja.
The Viall Files
E858 - The Ultimatum w/ Aria, James Kennedy’s Pathetic Response, Aaron Rodgers Shades The Bachelor & RHOBH
Sie sind noch zusammen.
The Viall Files
E858 - The Ultimatum w/ Aria, James Kennedy’s Pathetic Response, Aaron Rodgers Shades The Bachelor & RHOBH
I'm young. Okay, so, okay, okay.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
We don't, but all I know is that if somebody was fat shaming me or made me feel uncomfortable, if Connor wasn't berating them, then we have a problem.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
What do you mean? I mean, what do I mean? Don't you have a light that tells you you've got 20 miles and you kind of watch it?
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
And either way, I mean, the one thing I will give her is that if teasing an on-set relationship while everybody knowing that she's engaged, if that helps with her marketing, I'm like, I feel like it's kind of genius.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Congrats, Kate.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Oh, really? Yeah. If you look at the photos from him in a hospital bed, it literally looks like Brad Pitt on a red carpet.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
I think the public service announcement is if it's somebody like Brad Pitt, George Clooney,
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
You're not dating and don't send the money. But second of all, too, I'm like, there's never going to be a world where Brad Pitt needs a kidney transplant and you're the only person that can provide for him.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
It said that she found out.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
That doesn't mean you're in a good place. Well, that was from a divorce settlement. Because she divorced her husband to be with Brad Pitt. No, I think she was going through a divorce.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
That's what I thought. Maybe not. I thought she was going through a divorce and had mentioned that she was like going through her settlement. And that's when the scammer was like, send me money. I need help. I have health problems.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
I guarantee you she hasn't even heard about it or read about it. She's probably just like visualizing Mr. and Mrs. Smith or like Thelma and Louise. Did she share any of the photos of said Brad? There was a attachment to it.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Do you want to pull it up? I'm like, it's pretty apparent. It said that she found out that she was swindled when the real Brad stepped out with his girlfriend. And this is after she's already sent him approximately $850,000.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
No.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
And this is also why AI is dangerous.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Right. Yeah. Or why their camera phone doesn't work. Yep. Yeah. Their camera's broken.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
I mean... Yeah, valid. No, the Ariana Grande impersonator is scary.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Didn't she want to go to the Wicked premiere and they were like, no!
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
She dyed her hair blonde when Ariana did. And then I think she's on OnlyFans making content. She is. It's really, really gross.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Oh, I saw that.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Yeah. That's the impersonator.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
It's crazy. That's crazy. And she literally like makes the same facials. She also walked on a, on a runway dressed as Ariana or like done up as Ariana.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Or like how many times you've like mistaken somebody being like, I think that's and then you get closer like, no, it's not. Yeah. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Oh, no.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
She's in Dubai. Incredible. Do you remember the story you responded to telling me I was full of myself? I'd like to post it again.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
I do not recall.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
You know who's not full of themselves and doesn't need to grow up? Dylan Efron. He added to his bio, happiest outside and misguided. He's owning it. He is.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
I'm rooting for him. You know? So hard.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Right?
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
But he's smart too.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
For sure. They did that documentary series together. So that's why his title says Down to Earth. Oh, that's what that is.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Well, in other news, it seems as though they're filming something outside of something about her. So my prediction about Tom and Tom getting a spinoff, completely wrong. Katie and Ariana. It's Katie and Ariana.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Can somebody on their way home just continually drive past just to see how many times there's a camera crew outside?
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Who's the cast?
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
I feel so vindicated and so proud. Because I don't hate Kyle.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
No, no.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
He's kind of in the middle of the street.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
It's just so unread and she's so cool. Is he doing that thing that guys do where it's like he's gone too far with the attraction, so now it's like, oh, no, her eyes are too close together. I would never be interested in a girl like that. We're not there yet, but he was critiquing the hat.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Like in the inner, like you're turning left.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Only in front of me?
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
A few seasons back. The show's been off for like two decades. There's seasons somewhere. It was 2011, but you know. I didn't watch. Sue me.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Okay.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
I couldn't let you go on with that.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
What's the wildest job that you've had as a model? Like what was like something that you were asked to do, whether it was the shoot or climate, whatever it was, what's like the most wild job that you've had?
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
When you were on Watch What Happens Live, you answered a question and you said that you thought that Craig was the biggest pot stirrer. Why did you say Craig?
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
We saw the video on your Tik TOK of you singing, uh, Casey Musgraves. Insane. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Is there a gavel? It's like, you are banned.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
And he was only harassing this woman because she was for the other team.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
But women are too emotional and irrational. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
I don't know how you get it out, to be honest.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
That's what I want to know. It is a possibility that we should ask.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
whatever they can have it uh all right speaking of whatever beverly hills housewives i don't wait what there's some uh breaking breaking news on uh yes salt lake city housewives jen shaw's prison sentence reduced again now she will be released for thanksgiving next year her new release date is set for november 3rd 2026 and she's already initiated oh it's set yeah it's
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
I mean, it could be reduced again. She must have had some great behavior.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
She completed her anger management requirements. She's already initiated her payments towards her $6.5 million in restitution. Okay. And I think she's doing positive things in prison. Okay. I think it'll be reduced again. Probably.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Emmy.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
this is giving like pick me this is giving like absolutely not a girl's girl this is crazy behavior i'm gonna show up to your bedside to prove to you that you should have my side because heaven forbid you pick up the information that the other women have said in public when she pulled up to her house after that i just sat in bed and i go are you fucking kidding like we couldn't wait a couple days to have this conversation yeah being like five hours later kyle i'm like kyle kyle
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
It's a question before I walk through the threshold. And they're also like, it goes with the outfit. You're coming to sit on my couch, my girl. You don't need your shoes for this. Camera's not even on the shoes. Absolutely.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Check the chat. Place the order. We said yes. Can you get it, please?
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Garcelle really did compete for it. You were saying, Garcelle, step up your game. I know. She did.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
No. She did bring it up last season. Who had infidelity? Mauricio. Oh. She's brought it up multiple. But even like Lisa Vanderpump has brought it up in past things. Like Marisa has been accused of infidelity throughout the season. So many times. But it is one of those things where I'm like, we literally watched something where I don't think Kyle thought that this was going to stay in the episode.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Because it's like you're watching her strong arm or like strong, whatever the fucking thing is, where she's not acknowledging. And she's like, what are you talking about? Like move on. And then carry it on with the next topic where I think she thought that that would have been cut. But I feel like that's how those conversations go because Kyle is the queen of Beverly Hills.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
You do not cross me if I don't want to acknowledge it.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Me too.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
And I'm not surprised at all because I was like, huh, there we go.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Kyle met PK through Dorit. So it's like, why are you acting like this is your close friend when Dorit was your friend?
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
People can call Dorit whatever they want or like that she's not very smart. But even clocking the fact that she was like, why wouldn't you just read the text message? Like if it wasn't a deal, you're making it out like it's memes. It's memes. You don't need to see anything. She's like, well, why wouldn't you just show me if it wasn't something to hide? I would do the exact same thing.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
If my girlfriend was like you talking to my husband makes me feel uncomfortable. But read the text messages. Scroll through. If anything comes out of like seems out of pocket, let me know. I will never say something like that again. Like that's a good friend.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
You know, that's funny. That is a tagline right there.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
What do they say?
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Why are you looking at Justin?
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Well, that's what I love about Bose, too. And I think it's so funny because she is unproblematic, but she can also shut down. Like, I feel like Arcel wanted to talk shit about Dorit being like she talks so much and she's like, and she's like, OK, let's change the subject. You're not on my page.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
But Bose is like the neutral Switzerland, like a real one, though, that is like, I'm not attacking you and I'm not going to bat for Dorit. But at the same time, you're saying things where this woman is hurt. She's healing. Why are you trying to kick her while she's down?
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Let me nitpick everything that you do. And then they're like, the one woman that they think is so cool is friends with Dorit. And they're like, why? It bothers them so badly. And it's like, she's not up Dorit's butt or whatever she said. Dorit is an embryo up your coochie. Like, even then, I love that her cut, too, is like, that was so juvenile.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Like, what is the point of making these statements about my friendship with Dorit? Either make an effort with me, but coming at me to be like, don't be friends with Dorit. It's a weird stance at 40, 50 years old.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Will is the worst this season.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
I don't care about the coming. It's just like the fact that your girlfriend is having a full on breakdown at work and you're just sitting there sipping a high noon. Being like, I know I can't go to the back because I don't work. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. You're on the show. If you have a camera on you, you can walk into the back.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
That's what he supposedly said at the bar after her breakdown. At the end of the episode, they were like, yeah, he was just drunk and talking shit about her and said... What did he say? She's boring. She's anorexic. She's no fun.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
She would never do this. He didn't even give her like a pat on the head. Just like he was like from five feet away. Like, did you do it? And then he's like, I'm going to go.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Where it's like... To go to your sentiment at the beginning of the episode, have your partners back. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Is this a legitimate operation?
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
It was a jump scare. I was like, I don't need to see this man's toes. It was kind of reminding me of early seasons of Vanderpump when Sheena would record songs and he's like, make it sound more like a porn star or something. You're just like, is this real direction? Were you part of the Academy? Do you know what you're doing? I'm just not trusting this right now.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
I need the chaos.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Kaler. Okay. Yes.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
I was like, mine's my dog.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Low curlicue.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Anyways.
The Viall Files
E868 - TikTok Ban w/ Emily D Baker, Southern Charm w/ Molly, Diddy Updates, RHOBH & the Brad Pitt Catfish
Yeah, I bet you could.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Like Sonja Morgan. This is a fascinating story.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
So the headline is Hysterical Sonja Morgan blacklisted from New York City Italian Hotspot after refusing to pay a $1,000 bill she thought was comped.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
So the first side of the story is that bystanders were at this restaurant when Sonja made a reservation for three people but showed up with five people during the busiest time of the day. She just got mad when they were like, are you paying for the bill? And she's like, no, this is free.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
They put the bill down.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
It's a different server.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Yeah, well, so the source claimed that she was absolutely hysterical and refused to pay. It was like she was filming a Housewives episode shouting, I'm a celebrity.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Ja, also dann kam sie raus. Sarah, du weißt mehr über diese Sache.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
When she made the statement, I believe I was dining in exchange for a promotional post, I made that known to the staff.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
So not this round. But I guess so that's when like the owner of the restaurant came out and was like, it's like he said, the cost of everything is so expensive right now for restaurants. And she was just taking advantage. So I think it was like in defense of the staff and like the situation. That's what they said.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Please don't.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
You know what I did see? Natalie, you were a waitress once, right? So you'd probably know this. That apparently in some states that if you don't get tipped, the percentage or whatever comes out of the pay of the waitress or the waiter. That's criminal. Right? Insane. I was watching a video of a waitress explaining this. I don't think that's legal.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
So how it worked for me down in the low country was I made $2.15 an hour and tips.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Du musst warten, bis die Doppel-Linie bricht. Die Doppel-Linie bricht.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Ich respektiere es, aber das ist das Gleiche.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Natalie, I also got pulled over once in L.A. and I won the case.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Es sah aus, als ob Bailey während des Films pausiert war. Sie existierte also nicht mehr in den Episoden. Imruel ist interessant. Wir wissen, dass sie die Reunion in den letzten Wochen gefilmt haben. Andy ging nach dem Abendessen mit den Jungs von Summer House, aber Imruel war nicht da. Someone DM'd him being like, hey, why weren't you there?
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
He responded, I left early a few hours before they wrapped, so that's part of it. The person responded saying, part of it, dot, dot, dot, so not all of it, dot, dot, dot, or, question mark. Then he responded, I actually should though. And then he goes, I mean, I don't know. I'm gonna chalk it up to that and move on. It's all good.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
I'm so glad I did it and got some publicity and a platform for my English school. That was always my big goal in all of this. And then basically people noticed in this last recent episode that he's in group pictures with them and like in the BTS shots of like scenes, but in the actual scenes of the episodes, he's completely removed.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
So like in the dinner scene when Sierra gets up and West is talking about his friend, Emerald is sitting next to Carl, but he's not seeing any of the shots. So he's being removed. Well, so we were talking about it and people are teasing right now that something happens at the Summer House reunion. Something big happens and it's like, is it Emerald? He does something. So now he's cut out.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
No, no, no.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
War es so, dass sie ihn ausgedruckt haben, weil er sich in jeder Szene verletzt hat? Oder hat er etwas gemacht, dass sie jetzt sagen, dass sie es nicht können?
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Interesting, yeah.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Why?
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
It's interesting because he brought awareness to immigration, but then at the same time he's on Watch What Happens Live and they put him in vibrating panties. So it's almost a storyline also being projected on him, which I see that as well.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
You know, we also don't know if he's let go or not.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
You think so?
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
I mean, there's no video evidence.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Janet. Als Jana rauskam, sah man ihn im Hintergrund der Pantree. Ich glaube, es ist wahr, aber die Leute haben vorher verletzt. Aber wenn es wahr ist, ist das wilde Verhalten.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Wenn sie ihn aufgewacht hat, und vielleicht habe ich den Trick verloren, ich weiß es nicht. Danny war so, warum hast du mich nicht aufgewacht? Er war so wütend an ihr. But I'm like, you were passed out. If I was Nia, I'd let you sleep too.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
For the record, I think they're both a little crazy. Sure. After this episode.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
100%.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
You've never hugged me or said you love me.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
You have a gay guy sending you money and you're you're the escort. That was her just being petty, I think. I think that might be true.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
100%.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Idiots. I think they want it. We prepared the whole day for this publicity. It's going to be on national television. Period.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
I love Wine Country.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
I couldn't relate to Zach more in this scene when he was like, I'm Catholic, I don't need the red wine. Damn. Every time someone has red wine, I'm like, give me the white. Give me anything else, please.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Zu Nathalie's point, though you're right, where Nia's not meant for reality TV, because her answer was, she's like, we live in the valley.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Michelle Lawley had lunch, dinner, who knows what with Quentin Tarantino.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Doing too much.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
It was too much, right?
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Mm-hmm.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Sie fangen das Audio an, mit Nia zu hören. Ich war so, oh. Und dann Janett öffnet die Tür. Ich war so, Mädchen.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
No, there's people that do it too. Kesha changed it as well. Like, it works. She took out the dollar sign. Oh, but she's still Kesha. But she changed it, like, intentionally, though. Like, legally changed it.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
30%.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Trials are fun.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Bianca. Oh, sorry.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
I don't think that's why they're making that decision though. I think it's because Sierra and I were talking about this.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
No, but the security guard that went viral last year for pushing big guests across the red carpet. She was strong-arming them.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
And the guests were like, hello, I'm trying to just stand here for a second.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Es gab mehrere, aber das war der große.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Es war wie, bitte, gib mir einen Sekunden, einen Sekunden, lass mich einfach die Foto holen. Und es war nicht so, dass sie nicht stuttern. Sie würden einen Schritt nehmen und sie würde auf den Weg gehen.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Es beginnt ein Film.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Also bin ich so, warum kritisierst du jetzt den roten Karpfen, wenn sie diejenigen sind, die die Fotos posten, die dein Event promoten.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Also, for the record, it's Cannes Festival. I just looked it up. No S. I was more right than you guys.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Genau. Das ist auch das Schwierigste, weil vor ein paar Tagen war es die Love Island-Cast mit den Umanskys und Kyle Richards. Also sind wir zusammen am Club partieren, aber wir sind nicht zusammen. Oh mein Gott.
The Viall Files
E934 - Demi & Bret, Mormon Wives Premiere, The Valley, Mauricio Umansky New Photos & Sonja Morgan’s Dinner
Well, I feel like Kyle doesn't care, maybe. Like, that's the vibe I'm getting at this point.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
And I agree with that.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
I agree with that. Her explanation of it was very much like, I just innocently was just teasing the next episode. I had no idea that you would take it that far, let alone threaten to show text messages.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
You knew.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
You knew. You were throwing shade.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
To be fair, I was like, sometimes while I was watching it, I was like, I don't know which point you're applauding because it would be like somebody makes a point. Somebody's already making a point in the beginning and people started clapping. And I was like, are you clapping for Carolina? Are you clapping for Sarah?
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
Oh, I didn't realize that either. No, I didn't either. No.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
I think we had so much.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
Well, like Netflix, you had like Too Hot to Handle, Perfect Match, like all these dating shows, Love Island, that it's like, when do we have time? And like, lo and behold, the blueprint of where all of these shows came from, the original Temptation Island.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
It was selfie style. And there was also a photo of them from a distance where they're all just like chatting and having a time, not just taking a photo. So it was very intentional.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
It's Love Island, but I think I'm, I love Peacock. It's one of my go-to platforms, but it's like, because it has all of my Bravo stuff.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
You know, like I'm not really going in there being like, hmm, what's the Peacock original?
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
So good.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
I think I was too young when it originally came out too. So I didn't understand the concept because I thought it was like married couples are like going to get tempted. I didn't realize like it was like the couple dynamic and even the way that they do things. It's just like, I don't know. It's so good. I can't explain it.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
You taking notes?
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
Wow. When I was in real estate, I had to get business cards.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
I mean, the one girl got like six. I was going to say, I think there's like 12 people per, like 12 tempters and tempterses. So it's like,
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
the chances someone is going to at least get one it's there yeah but it's just but if you get a pity bracelet that sucks but you wouldn't know like that's the thing i'm like but i'm like i don't know which one's worse if my person didn't get a single bracelet or if my person no you're like oh my god is he ugly like am i with an ugly guy like why does no one want to like but we're about to separate so i'm like oh so you've got six of them chasing i think if my i think if my if i went on temptation island and my partner only got like one or no bracelets i would be like good
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
Do you know how mad I would be if I ended up leaving with him and then watching it back and being like, you said fucking what? Literally.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
are very triggering and maybe the other few seconds would have softened that but they don't show that type of thing like it ends like they definitely are able to amplify to mark's point where he was kind of saying that the women try to hold off as long as possible in my head all i was thinking was like i bet until that first bonfire yeah because if i saw a video of like two seconds of a girl licking something off of connor's neck it's like all right so we're playing yeah okay let's fucking go okay yeah
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
Dear? Yeah. I didn't know that that could be such like a triggering where she's like, no, no, no, that's my pet name.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
When somebody, like, when he calls somebody arrogant and then she's defending someone she doesn't even know she's at. You're arrogant. And it's like, okay. Shots fired. Tell me how you really feel.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
That was kind of weird, too, like listening to like the women and men every single like talk shit about the like temptresses. You don't you typically don't hear that like the cattiness.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
She got straight to the point.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
And it's like, I'm glad that you said that because I kind of had the same thought where I was just like Love Island when they do the Casa Amor. It's like the women come out and it's like, boop, boop, boop. And the guys come out and they're like, boop.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
Immediately.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
But I'm saying it was a $2,500 upfront payment.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
Well, I will say during the women's hall, I did feel a little vindicated.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
Because Carolina and Rose, they kind of touched on the whole topic. And it was kind of what I said was that Carolina wanted to hear everything, was asking her all about like, so what's going on with you and Grant? What's going on in your relationship? They were laughing, having a good time about it.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
That Rose was actually completely blindsided that Carolina took the stance that like she was, that Rose was like trying to rub something in her face when it was actually just like a
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
I agree to some extent where I'm like, Carolina explaining like how she felt throughout. I was like, yes, I understand why your actions come off the way that they do. I don't think anybody intentionally goes into anything where they're being filmed and being like, I want to be the villain unless you're, I guess, Spencer Pratt. So I'm like, in that, I agree.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
But I was like, they definitely clarified that it was a friendly conversation going on between the two of them. And also that I'm like, The way that Carolina is making it out as if like Dina was like following her around. The whole point that they were also trying to emphasize to Carolina was you had a rose.
The Viall Files
E900 - Debating w/ Heather McDonald, LIB w/ Sara, Temptation Island w/ Mark Walberg, Bachelor WTA, & RHOBH
You going and taking all of this extra time was the disrespect because you didn't need the time, but you still made every group date about yourself. So I'm like, I also understand Dina being like, it's kind of fucked up because you have the insurance that you need.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
Well, another kind of rumor is that basically Mormon wives is going to replace the bachelor time slot.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
Or maybe it just worked out like that.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
100%.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
Yeah, you're already in bed.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
You don't want to get the mother of your child water? Yeah.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
Oh, no.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
um to this whole story oh no if it proceeds i don't let me finish okay trying to shut a woman down i i'm refusing to get the remote
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
I need a cushy little window, but I'm cool. Right in the dangerous place.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
It's shotgun rules.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
That is what I would do personally, but I do not know what, you know, like at a big, they have so many deliveries who knows like what their protocol is for like, you have to get this done. You have to get this done at what time speed, you know, they have like those really short windows.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
Go to the next neighborhood. I would not personally do that. That's crazy.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
It's our workers' fault, not us as a company.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
It was definitely the employee's fault, but I could also see a bigger picture of being overworked, what they have to do, how much they have to deliver. I don't think it's an excuse for doing that.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
That is very true. I just think it's also a thing at the same time. Both things are true. Maybe it was Gen Z. Maybe it was Gen Z. As a Gen Z, I would probably do that.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
We're not cuspers.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
Wait, so am I not Gen Z? I don't think you are. No, I think like you're cusp, if anything.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
It was a surprise, but they're very excited about it, is the storyline.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
Is it like the husband is like in the closet watching this happen situation? No. Okay. No. Okay.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
Is it co-star or like teammate? Alex Morgan, her teammate was also there.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
Girl.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
Wow. Wow, I'm too short to kiss Nicole Kidman. Isn't she really tall? You can stand on a thing. I can get on my tiptoes. Apple box? Okay, she was married to Tom Cruise. I'm probably the same height as that man.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
That could go.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
2007.
The Viall Files
E884 - RHOBH w/ Kelley O’Hara, Traitors w/ Boston Rob, Grant’s Lie?, Nat’s Babygirl Review, & Bedtime Rules
Amazing. Thanks, Nick.
The Viall Files
E854 - Kathy Hilton's Christmas Party, Michael Rapaport, Fortune Feimster, The Ultimatum, and RHOBH
I'm scared. And I didn't even like his answers from our interview with him. I mean, they were all just like long answers that made me just like, are you even answering this question?
The Viall Files
E854 - Kathy Hilton's Christmas Party, Michael Rapaport, Fortune Feimster, The Ultimatum, and RHOBH
Yeah, because JR was kind of coming at her in a very weird way where he was angry with her for talking to Nick, which again, to Sierra's point, it's like, why are we getting upset with people for texting and talking to their actual partners?
The Viall Files
E854 - Kathy Hilton's Christmas Party, Michael Rapaport, Fortune Feimster, The Ultimatum, and RHOBH
yeah i've literally never heard that in my life so that's crazy yeah no one mourns the wicked i've heard the term holding space like i hold space in my heart for that person or something like that but like not as like um and like a verb i just made a playlist called holding space love nick was talking to mariah and he said it was interesting to hear jr describe her holding space because that hasn't happened for me so again the question is what does holding space mean i
The Viall Files
E854 - Kathy Hilton's Christmas Party, Michael Rapaport, Fortune Feimster, The Ultimatum, and RHOBH
I think it's in your heart.
The Viall Files
E854 - Kathy Hilton's Christmas Party, Michael Rapaport, Fortune Feimster, The Ultimatum, and RHOBH
Your ass is in my face. Hey, you're welcome. Watching Nick try to turn on the lights after they'd already been turned on. Yeah. It's giving, yeah, man help.
The Viall Files
E865 - Los Angeles Fires, Allison Holker Backlash, Baldoni’s ‘Leaked’ Voice Note, RHOBH & Bravo Predictions
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E865 - Los Angeles Fires, Allison Holker Backlash, Baldoni’s ‘Leaked’ Voice Note, RHOBH & Bravo Predictions
But it does.
The Viall Files
E865 - Los Angeles Fires, Allison Holker Backlash, Baldoni’s ‘Leaked’ Voice Note, RHOBH & Bravo Predictions
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E865 - Los Angeles Fires, Allison Holker Backlash, Baldoni’s ‘Leaked’ Voice Note, RHOBH & Bravo Predictions
He is. He and Kaya Gerber broke up.
The Viall Files
E865 - Los Angeles Fires, Allison Holker Backlash, Baldoni’s ‘Leaked’ Voice Note, RHOBH & Bravo Predictions
He is.
The Viall Files
E865 - Los Angeles Fires, Allison Holker Backlash, Baldoni’s ‘Leaked’ Voice Note, RHOBH & Bravo Predictions
She's the best.
The Viall Files
E865 - Los Angeles Fires, Allison Holker Backlash, Baldoni’s ‘Leaked’ Voice Note, RHOBH & Bravo Predictions
She's friendly.
The Viall Files
E865 - Los Angeles Fires, Allison Holker Backlash, Baldoni’s ‘Leaked’ Voice Note, RHOBH & Bravo Predictions
And I was like, yeah. And I was like,
The Viall Files
E865 - Los Angeles Fires, Allison Holker Backlash, Baldoni’s ‘Leaked’ Voice Note, RHOBH & Bravo Predictions
I want a rotisserie chicken.
The Viall Files
E865 - Los Angeles Fires, Allison Holker Backlash, Baldoni’s ‘Leaked’ Voice Note, RHOBH & Bravo Predictions
It's exclusively Justin Baldoni speaking to what he called his dream team, lamenting the fact that he was put in the basement on the premiere of his own movie, he says, per Blake's demands.
The Viall Files
E930 - Love On The Spectrum’s Abbey & David, Karen Read, Battle Camp Host, The Valley & Clayton Vindicated
We've got the San Francisco Chronicle. We've got Fox 10 Phoenix.
The Viall Files
E930 - Love On The Spectrum’s Abbey & David, Karen Read, Battle Camp Host, The Valley & Clayton Vindicated
the arizona republic 12 news wow too fab that's crazy i don't know is there like a conspiracy i mean she was this person was charged in arizona so that makes it makes sense why the local arizona news covers it but oh but guess what us weekly did cover his feud with gabby windy oh obviously they would yeah a couple weeks ago that's fucking crazy are people just out to get him
The Viall Files
E930 - Love On The Spectrum’s Abbey & David, Karen Read, Battle Camp Host, The Valley & Clayton Vindicated
Well, I don't know. Maybe it's Sutton that's the problem.
The Viall Files
E930 - Love On The Spectrum’s Abbey & David, Karen Read, Battle Camp Host, The Valley & Clayton Vindicated
Hold on.
The Viall Files
E930 - Love On The Spectrum’s Abbey & David, Karen Read, Battle Camp Host, The Valley & Clayton Vindicated
Maybe it's our algorithm because Salt Lake isn't airing right now.
The Viall Files
E930 - Love On The Spectrum’s Abbey & David, Karen Read, Battle Camp Host, The Valley & Clayton Vindicated
No, I had to just keep replaying it. Danny rolled over at one point. He was like, what is wrong with you?
The Viall Files
E930 - Love On The Spectrum’s Abbey & David, Karen Read, Battle Camp Host, The Valley & Clayton Vindicated
Why do they keep calling Nia in to be like the emotional support?
The Viall Files
E930 - Love On The Spectrum’s Abbey & David, Karen Read, Battle Camp Host, The Valley & Clayton Vindicated
But can we talk about how Jessie was speaking to Janet? Yeah, it was insane.
The Viall Files
E930 - Love On The Spectrum’s Abbey & David, Karen Read, Battle Camp Host, The Valley & Clayton Vindicated
In front of Jason, and Jason had nothing to say. And did nothing. Oh, my God. That pissed me off. I was just like. Are you really going to let him speak like that? And then Jason goes to see if Jesse's okay after the emotional ball thing. And he was like, get the fuck out of here. And I was just like, oh my God. But you are wearing granny panties.
The Viall Files
E930 - Love On The Spectrum’s Abbey & David, Karen Read, Battle Camp Host, The Valley & Clayton Vindicated
So support me. I feel like Jax is manipulating his therapist in rehab. Because every time he comes out of a therapy session is when he rage texts Brittany. And I'm sure he's like making his therapist feel bad for him and being like, yeah, she does suck.
The Viall Files
E930 - Love On The Spectrum’s Abbey & David, Karen Read, Battle Camp Host, The Valley & Clayton Vindicated
That is nuts. Maybe his therapist is an undercover Bravo producer. Yeah. That seems very likely to me.
The Viall Files
E930 - Love On The Spectrum’s Abbey & David, Karen Read, Battle Camp Host, The Valley & Clayton Vindicated
Yeah, I was confused by the prompt because they all answered it differently. And then I was even more confused by Jesse's reaction to Michelle's answer because I was like, why did that piss you off so much?
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
Sutton. Sutton.
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
Do you want to have to read and see?
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
Like my lips.
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
You were more like, not my best. Yeah, literally.
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
Oh, my God.
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
Right. We forgive you. That was well said. That was good. Really thoughtful. Really, really nice. No notes. Yeah, yeah. Never.
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
So humble.
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
That's completely different.
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
You're toxic.
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
So he didn't fuck.
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
For sure. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
Thank you very much. You're welcome.
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
Well, now that I have a wife who can make my bed, like, I was like, do your...
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
It's girlfriend though?
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
He definitely didn't say that.
The Viall Files
E895 - Grant Ellis, Ingrid Andress, White Lotus, RHOBH, Denise Richards Premiere, and Stolen Baby Names
What's going on here?
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
You don't need to look like a gymnast. I really was. It's giving Simone.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Right?
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
It was kind of awesome.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
She deserves some empathy.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
That's where I think she needs empathy. And I agree where she said, like, I was used for a storyline specifically for something and that this was not the place for me to even share what I believe because it was immediately, regardless of what I would say, be criticized.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Right.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
We have some questions. Yeah, I do think I think Bravo did use her. I agree. I'm excited to chat with her. But that's what housewives do.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
That's what they do.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
So basically Reese Witherspoon did an interview with People where she said that she mistakenly roasted her friend at a very serious award ceremony. She said, it literally haunts me. So this friend of mine who I didn't really know that well, but she was a very serious, proper actress. She asked me to give her an award. I had never been to this award ceremony. So I thought it was like a roast.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
So I got up and I roasted her. She said the event was British, elegant and classy. So it's the BAFTAs. And that she got the tone completely wrong while cracking jokes in her speech. Apparently, Reese said in her speech, remember that time we got laser hair removal? And she is still embarrassed about it. And the actress is no longer friends with her and stopped talking to her afterwards.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
People thought it was Kate Winslet. Reese then posted on her Instagram story and said it's not Kate Winslet.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
I mean, we don't spread rumors on this show, so.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
That's true. Maybe a Cate Blanchett. I don't know. Cate Blanchett. But Cate Blanchett, I feel like, has a good sense of humor.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
She goes, oh no, it's happening again.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
But then maybe from the other POV, it's like, you worked really hard in this really serious, dramatic role.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
And this girl that you don't know super well, this American Southern woman comes in at this British award show. Everyone's really stuffy and then starts talking about laser hair removal. You're like, oh my God.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Oh my God, she's just... We don't do that here. Yeah. I don't know. I've never watched the BAFTA, so I don't know how they work.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Just say the person's name, Reese.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
You gave us all the hints. Say it with your chest. I wouldn't be mad.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Not connected to Traders.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Not connected to Traders.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
100%.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Here's the thing. I have some stats, pro and against, if you guys would like to hear them.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
It was in Orange County, Florida, which is like Orlando.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Who's your favorite? Buffy. Okay, well, besides Buffy, obviously.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Was it?
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Wow. I just think it was funny that she said, it's funny, I always used to say no to the reboot because it's in a bubble and it's so perfect, but watching Sex and the City, meaning watching and just like that.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Yes. And Dexter. And Dexter, because Dexter's getting a reboot. Uma Thurman's going to be in it.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
It's getting another one. Another one?
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
He's still... I think it's an origin season.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
There's another one with Uma Thurman.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Ooh, I love an Uma Thurman project.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
The one or two seasons that existed of it.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
The one season they came back.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Has a reboot worked?
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
I liked the Chucky reboot with Aubrey Plaza, but no one else did.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
I mean, but Chucky's on its, like, what, fourth season? Oh, there's the Chucky TV show. But that's horror. I don't think horror counts.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Sign was in the TV show.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Jennifer Tilly. Yeah. Well, horror, like, is always repeating itself. So I feel like that doesn't count. I love In Just Like That as well.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Yes. She's alone. It feels like a Muppet TV show.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Real Gen Quest is what's going on with Paige and Craig.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
It's clear, but the story just keeps escalating.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
And then he never responded to that text that she sent him saying she wanted to announce it.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
And then also Kyle and Amanda, they did an interview where they were like, he should have stood up for her when all these rumors were coming out of like infidelity and stuff. And then he unfollowed, Craig unfollowed Kyle and Amanda.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Well, you know I'm a stat queen. I love stats. So I have some stats about it. Self-proclaimed. Self-proclaimed stat queen here. The argument for Beyonce's Cowboy Carter being a country album is she's from Texas, country, state. You know?
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
I don't know. Miss Pat's coming for Paige, though, because Miss Pat responded to a clip of the podcast where Paige was talking about it and said, watch her on the next episode of Southern Charm. Which is like, yeah, they weren't broken up when they were filming. Of course she's in the show. It's going to be weird.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Because they have to watch it back.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
She was asked if she saw, like, the whole blow-up event. She's like, well, I thought... Like, Rachel's a sweet girl. Like, Craig should, you know... Oh, so, okay. And then she went on to just say, like, Craig's probably with the next person and gonna settle down because he's gonna look for someone that's actually ready to...
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Denise Richards, her new show trailer. Did you see it?
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Denise and the Wild Things. And Her Wild Things. Her Wild Things.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Yeah. A lot of people were saying, what's the point of doing it if they're all on her show? Like just bring her back to Beverly Hills Housewives. But it's like.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
no it's like denise is in control i love it i respect it she's the focal point she said bravo bravo bravo and they said here's a show yep yeah i'm really happy for you when does that come out march 4th march 4th when is the valley come out unclear they bravo's been doing this thing recently where they're like coming soon and it's them announcing it but then it doesn't come out for like another four or two months but you didn't come out last year march 19th 2024
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Yeah. We'll probably know two weeks before it airs. That's what they did with Beverly Hills.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
In other Beverly Hills news, Lisa Rinna has addressed Lisa Vanderpump's rumored return to Beverly Hills. during a podcast appearance, Lisa said, I heard that Vanderpump might return. They're always looking to save the show. They know it's the Titanic. I'm just going to say it. And we all know it's the fucking Titanic.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
And so I would imagine that they're courting the shit out of Vanderpump right now because like, who else? They know I'm not going back.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Has she been asked? She said she has. And I mean, people have been saying bring back some of the OGs. Renna's not an OG, but she was like an iconic housewife.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Yeah. I do appreciate Erica in this position. She was just hard truth. She's like, you can hate me for what I'm about to say, but this is what you need to hear.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
They also did an interview, like, a month ago, Mauricio and PK. So, like, it's interesting that it's, like, they're teaming up as, like, the husbands that were married to the housewives, but then PK the whole time is kind of like, I didn't like the way she handled sobriety and the conversations about me. Like, she's spinning it. They're in cahoots. I would think so. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
In the song Sweet Honeybuckin', which first off called Sweet Honeybuckin', Beyonce says, look at that horse, look at that horse, look at that horse. Horses, big themes in country music.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
I did see a fan theory that Kyle and Dorit are feuding because they wanted to do that to distract the group of people from dissecting their marriages. Because, like, they're deflecting with, like, this is such a toxic friendship, so people are being more supportive when it comes to the marriage conversations instead of, like,
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
It's like there's one big thing they're not telling us.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
And then Kathy Hilton's the confusing part because then she does interviews every two seconds being like, well, I think they'll be back together soon. Like they might get back together soon.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Well, Kathy also says she's part Chinese 3000 BC.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
She puts caviar on her baked potatoes and that was enough for me to be like, I'm set.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
But just Asian descent? Yeah. I mean, anything she does, I'm like, She's a character where it's like you can say something crazy and you know that they don't know what they're saying but also like they don't mean it in a harmful way. Yeah. Like she's just being goofy and I'm sure some person in Italy did tell her like...
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Dolly Parton, Willie Nelson, and Shabuzy on the album.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Willie Nelson. Willie Nelsie. Also, even though Beyonce never released country music before, neither did Post Malone. And now he has one too. Also, she has a song about alligators, which to my Southern culture is country. The argument against. It's more like swampy. Swampy, but swamp is country.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
I'm not going to bow down to the altar of Kyle Richards.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
I feel bad for her mom though. I'm like, we're using her as a storyline. I mean, maybe she's like chaotic, but I'm like, I don't want to see her mom come on the screen and get humiliated by like. How was she humiliated? Have you seen the teaser for next episode?
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
I'm like, it's Garcelle like telling her mom that she needs to be like more involved in her mom being like, well, I think it's none of your business.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Period on her mom. But like the editing is making her mom seem so harsh.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Yeah. I do think, to circle back to your question, last season was Sutton and Garcelle welcoming Erica in. And this season, they're just ignoring that, which is interesting.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
I will say though, this one like to me.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
This is a headline that I actually support the word slam because to me I'm like okay she did say some like straight up like no BS stuff where she said like in response to the feud with Danielle you're gaslighting me I am not the most eloquent speaker I am not always listened to but it doesn't help when you have somebody looking down on you side eyeing you talking just the way she did.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
No one wants to be the Dan of the season, but girl, you're Dan-ing me. I don't give a shit about looking the best. I have not played Survivor multiple times. I am a zero-vote fucking finalist. I don't claim to be a great player. I'm good in my own freaky way, but she holds that to such a high standard of, like, I'm the best to never win. Grow up. So to me, that's like a slam.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
It doesn't sound like country. You ever drink a bush light riding on a boat through the Everglades? That's country. And you see an alligator right there? What is a bush light? A bush? A little John Boat, yeah. A little bush latte?
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
But they're also very ego about it because then you have MJ getting played by Trishel and CT. And it's like the gamers are then thinking they're better than the other people and then playing the other people. But I mean, it's interesting because this is a gamer versus a gamer. Danielle versus Carolyn.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
And then they're also doing TikToks together with Dylan and Brian.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
I don't believe anyone when they say anything. Well, I think it's with traders. I think they're all actively, with the way they're all interacting with each other and online throughout as the season's going, they're just leaning in.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
You should wear skinny jeans.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Exactly. But how many songs total are on album? How many songs total are on album? Let's see.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Indeed.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Beyonce has not previously released a country album. Don't care about that. She's experimenting with the genre. She raps in spaghetti, but that is spaghetti western.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Jason Aldean has rapped in Dirt Road Anthem. Yeah, Florida Georgia Line had Nelly and a bunch of... Yes. The album overall does combine many genres, which is the point of it. So it's kind of a genre-less album by design. Well, then how do you win a genre award if it's a genre-less album? Exactly. And then also... I hate that. I do hate that.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Kind of need a dog. Kind of need a dog. You need a dog. You need a lifted four-wheeler. You need a hitch. Does Daisy have a lifted truck? Maybe one.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Yeah, sure. Who were our other nominees? The other nominee.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Kacey Musgraves. I think she was Post Malone country album of the year nominee.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Hmm.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Well, Cowboy Carter goes back to 2016 when Beyonce performed with the Chicks at the CMAs.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
I don't.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Well, they didn't get canceled for that. But anyway, so in 2016, CMAs, Beyonce and the Chicks performed Daddy Lessons off of Beyonce's Lemonade, which is a country song. And that performance, banger. Kenny Chesney and many other people pissed about it. They're so mad Beyonce's there. Beyonce takes that personally, a la Michael Jordan. And she makes Cowboy Carter and then wins Best Country Album.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Michael Jordan.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
And I took that personally.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
We have Cowboy Carter, obviously. Higher by Chris Stapleton. Deeper Well, Kacey Musgraves. Banger album. F1 Trillion, Post Malone. Whirlwind, Laney Wilson. I'm going to be honest. If Chris Stapleton is in the mix, how is he not winning? But would you not say he's more Southern rock?
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Mm-hmm.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Kacey Musgraves. Kacey Musgraves, also great.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
It's also not really like about the other women. It's like, I mean, it affects them, but who it really directly affects is like Brynn and Uwe.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
We hear the biophiles can say that Puerto Rico is beautiful and you should go there.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Post Malone, though. On a trailer hitch.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Post Malone goes from trap to country, and that's okay?
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Musical video?
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Okay.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Okay.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
That's sweet.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Cronk.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
People that say bop think that Monday is the first day of the week. Leah thinks Monday is the first day of the week.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
To them, it is. Sure. But also, you're saying that the week starts on Monday because you have a Monday through Friday job. Some people work on the weekends.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
That sounds like nerds think Monday is the first day of the week. Freaking nerds.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
It's because your week has already started. Yep. No, that's because your weekend's over and you're going into the first day of the work week. So you just said the weekend's over, so the beginning of the week is Sunday. Okay.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Oh, my God. Why was why was Monday the best day for surgery?
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Same.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
I think it was gross of Bravo to do what they did to her regarding Scientology. However... Why bring her on the show and then why platform something that's that controversial in that way without fully having the capability to deal with it?
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Because now she's reality TV's spokeswoman of Scientology. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
I don't know. She had the talking points that Many, many Scientologists that speak publicly about Scientology have. It's similar. They all say very, very similar things in a way that leads many people to believe that there's a coaching aspect of it. The communication aspect of it is a big part of it.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
she seems lovely yeah anyway anyone who ever wants to watch the documentary going clear it makes you is it a religion I don't like it's a complicated question
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
No, but I think most... They didn't? Well, I don't know. But most people also haven't seen that they apologized right after, too. So what? They did apologize immediately. Because people are clipping them interrupting it and not giving the context of, like, so when she apologized, she was like, I just want to formally say, like, I'm really sorry to Babyface and, like, the people watching.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Like, I was being tapped on the shoulder and a lot of people were saying, like, chapel, chapel, chapel. So it was, like, she was kind of pressured to then like interrupt it. And she immediately was like, I'm sorry.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Someone deserves to get fired. Maybe it wasn't them. I mean, they're getting death threats online. So it's like that's too far. I've seen a lot of comments and stuff where it's like they were just doing their jobs and maybe they did it wrong because someone was tapping on their shoulder.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
What are you supposed to do, though? Like, well, baby face. He couldn't be like, I'm talking. No, I loved how he handled it.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
So true. Sorry, we're throwing around baby face references. My mom loves baby face.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
He told me he liked my Steelers jacket because he's from Pittsburgh. And I was like... Okay.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
I saw a lot of comments were confused by like his jean cut on the bottom because it was like yoga, but also kind of boot cut, but also like flair. It was a little flair. I liked it. It was giving fashion.
The Viall Files
E880 - RHONY w/ Rebecca Minkoff, Southern Hospitality w/ Maddi Reese, Paige/Craig Split, RHOBH, and Beyoncé
Okay, David Bowie. It was a flair. But also skinny jean-ish.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I was like, okay.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
It could be.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Thank you.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
2002.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
I get way more... What?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
All right. Well.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
11?
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Mm hmm.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
Yeah.
The Viall Files
E912 - Giacomo Gianniotti, Iliza Shlesinger, RHOBH Reunion, White Lotus, and Sydney Sweeney’s Breakup
That was the best.
The Viall Files
E873 Ask Nick - My BF Thinks I’m A Burden
Can I ask a couple of questions? Yeah. I know you said you're not as close to your family. How often do you talk to them a year?
The Viall Files
E873 Ask Nick - My BF Thinks I’m A Burden
maybe two or three months okay but like texting a couple times a week maybe but like very surface level okay but they're still like regular you have a relationship with these people yes well and the reason i was asking is you said everybody else in your life knows that you're out would you say that you've kind of have you've had a chosen family that's replaced the role that they would have played
The Viall Files
E873 Ask Nick - My BF Thinks I’m A Burden
yeah absolutely so then what i would think like as far as and this is me streamlining a little bit like the red flag conversation because it is a tricky situation is that what do you mean by red flag conversation like i understand like what you use the word red flag but like when you're dating openly like it is a tricky path to go down when one partner is out and one partner isn't out yeah
The Viall Files
E873 Ask Nick - My BF Thinks I’m A Burden
If people are asking you, are you out to your family? The way that I see it is if you're out to your chosen family, the people that actually matter to you that have replaced that void of who is your family, then like there's a way to navigate that conversation in that sense. The people that matter to me that I actually talk to that actually know who I am. They do.
The Viall Files
E873 Ask Nick - My BF Thinks I’m A Burden
For context, just my own life. Not everybody in my life knows that I'm out. The people that matter to me do. My immediate family does. If people wanted to inquire, they could like find out. I don't hide it.
The Viall Files
E873 Ask Nick - My BF Thinks I’m A Burden
That being said, same thing, my partner's side, like we don't fault each other for that because you don't owe anybody that truth, you know, but you're giving it to you're giving it to the people, your chosen family that does matter. So in a sense, that is your family.
The Viall Files
E873 Ask Nick - My BF Thinks I’m A Burden
Yeah, I think so. I'm curious if part of you is just wondering during the holidays if they're going to ask you about your dating life.
The Viall Files
E873 Ask Nick - My BF Thinks I’m A Burden
Can I offer some more perspective? I think instead of thinking you're a red flag, a healthy way, and this is easier said than done to think about it, is like while dating people, what circles are you going to bring your future partner into? Yeah.
The Viall Files
E873 Ask Nick - My BF Thinks I’m A Burden
Because like the last thing you would want to do, and I'm not saying you're going to do this, is bring your partner into a room where you're going to say, this is my friend. You know, but it's like if you're never going to be bringing that partner around those people, then like that's an honest conversation you can have with your partner. And like they'll learn to accept it for what it is.
The Viall Files
E873 Ask Nick - My BF Thinks I’m A Burden
We love that. You're also not a red flag. So thank you. You can throw that away.
The Viall Files
E939 Ask Nick - Revenge Dating
No, it makes a lot of sense. When are you supposed to see this 50-year-old man again?
The Viall Files
E939 Ask Nick - Revenge Dating
I mean, yeah, you are. I don't know. You're a human being.
The Viall Files
E859 Ask Nick - Is He Hot or Just 6’3’’
This is the guy you're losing your marbles over? He's attractive. I mean, he's fine looking. How tall is he?
The Viall Files
E859 Ask Nick - Is He Hot or Just 6’3’’
Let me see if there's another image. He's definitely... Not yet.
The Viall Files
E917 Ask Nick - My Boyfriend Stole My Job
But you're... I think you should listen to this episode back when it comes out.
The Viall Files
E913 - My Twin Sister's Affair
And that wasn't what I was. Why are you taking care of his dog?
The Viall Files
E927 Ask Nick - His Brother Is A Bum
All right. Well, sorry to hear. Me too. Tell me more. Tell me more.
The Viall Files
E927 Ask Nick - His Brother Is A Bum
Your brother-in-law, not your husband, right? Yes.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah, that's the thing. That's the job of a parent. You know, like I have a one-year-old daughter and I truly hope, God forbid, anything close to this happens to her. But I certainly hope that I will make my daughter feel safe and comfortable to come to me and Natalie. Yeah, I hate that. Well, how did your mom, how did your parents handle it first and foremost?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I'm trying to like, remember what she learned from law and order and shit.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I know you're dealing with it. I know that you're surviving through it. And yes, you will be okay. But it's just not fine that you had to experience this or that she did this. It's not fine that your cousin made you feel like you did something wrong. It's not okay. It's fucked up beyond... It's so fucked up that they invited him to the wedding. It's so fucked up.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I mean, I think it's fucked up that they didn't, like, they didn't say, whatever you need from us in this moment, if you want to call the police, we have your... Like, to me, that's fucked up. I mean, so they didn't even do that. And then they, like, invite him to your...
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I mean, you're you're you're probably right. But I don't know if that's always the case. I think sometimes there was a situation. It's Natalie had something happened to her recently. It was a very difficult experience. Um, people will learn about it soon. And she did not get the response that she wanted from her mom.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And I was a bit shocked because her mom has always been a really empathetic and caring and loving mom. And then now they communicated like, Hey, like, you know, little call off card by your response could really use a mom right now. And it's like, it was like all of a sudden, like her mom was being like a 17 year old girl. And it was so obvious what her mom needed to do in this moment.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And yet her mom was making all these excuses as to why... you know, she didn't respond the way she needed to respond. And again, this is nothing like, you know, it's something to do with her health. She's okay. But, you know, it's just like she really needed a mom, you know? And it's like, it's not that her, you know, and this wasn't about believing like something happened, you know?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
It was very definitive. And her mom just decided to act like a casual friend giving their condolences. It's like, Oh yeah, I'm sorry that happened to you. And it's like, I'm here in the, like, what the fuck? You know? Uh, and I only bring that up cause it's like, it was just, I think sometimes people want to, I think sometimes, you know, I don't know how the brain works. Some, you know, but,
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Maybe they didn't believe you. That's definitely one possibility and sadly a likely possibility given just how people react to these things. Also, I think there's a possibility that they found the truth really inconvenient to them. You know what I'm saying? Because I think there's a difference between flat out not believing you
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And like just thinking you're lying, you know, because sometimes when, you know, because they're acting like they don't believe you. Right. That's like you're coming. There's a very logical conclusion that there's a disconnect. And I almost feel like it's more just inconvenient for them or they feel bad or they don't think or she feels guilty about how she handled it. You know, maybe she is.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
There's a part of her like with Natalie's mom. I think there's a little bit of like. She knew she handled it poorly instead of just like swallowing her pride and stepping up and start being the mom Natalie needed her to be in that moment. She started saying things like, well, I just knew you had a great husband and I knew Nick was like, well, what the fuck does that have to do with anything?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You know, either way. I mean, none of this really matters in terms of whether they believe you or not believe you. Like, yes, to answer your question, your cousin's the villain. And I think my hope for you is that you stop wasting any energy on this, on these two people. And you stop thinking that you owe them any more of your energy or time or consideration and,
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And whatever threats or about family dynamic or peace in the family, that is on them. And I know that you don't want this to, I understand, get out, but I don't want you to live in fear. That's my hope for you. And yeah, fuck them.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
When you say you have to see these people, what do you mean?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
So, of course, I believe you. I'm a good like, again, I would. This is not the time for her to pat herself on the back.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
If you believe me, then you wouldn't have invited the person who sexually assaulted me to your wedding.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Then as a human being or let alone a woman, I mean, she should have made a scene. If I would, I don't keep my wedding. If I would have known that someone who sexually assaulted a friend, anyone at my wedding, I would have removed them from my wedding.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And if it, and if that created a scene, so be it. I mean, I, you know, people, yeah.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I mean, do you feel like your parents have your back?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
It's not an ideal situation. I recognize that. As we sit here today, there's no like, well, if you do X, Y, and Z, everyone's going to be happy. And to me, and again, I hope this is just my opinion and take it with a grain of salt. Like this isn't about keeping the peace. I mean, it's about keeping your peace.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And right now, unfortunately, you're being put in this position with two bad choices, right? Like either like protect yourself from the constant reminder, because what all your cousin and his wife now have made themselves is a reminder of your assault.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Every time you have to deal with her reaching out, it is a trigger for you. I can only assume it brings you back to that place on some level and that's disgusting and totally unfair to you. And then, you know, and now you're being forced with like dealing with that and like somehow being solely responsible for keeping the peace in the family.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And so, I don't know, you know, you say your friends have your back, but your friends almost sound like my position where it's easy for me to say this to you. I'm not part of your family, you know, and some of these friends, what I'm hearing from you, like have your back, but like they're not the ones who have to show up to Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And it's your mom who, if I'm hearing you correctly, has your back, but whether your mom is making you feel this way or you're just putting this pressure on you, on yourself, worrying how your mom might react to having to distance herself from her own brother and her nephew because of how your cousins chose to handle this and you not wanting to do that to your mom.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I just don't, I just, I would love for your mom And maybe, maybe your mom would, you know, but like, I'd love for your mom to like take that burden off your shoulders.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
None of it is fair, but like, none of this is fair. This is not about, this is not about fairness.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
If you're willing and wanting to have one more conversation with this cousin of yours, which sounds like you probably already said all these things anyways, and just simply said, just to reiterate, I was assaulted. You invited that person to your wedding. I don't really care what you think you did. You in no way gave me the support I felt like I needed.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And again, you invited this person to your wedding. And you can blame it on your cousin or not, but you all just turned the other cheek when he showed up. And you just hoped that I would be okay. And I think that's unforgivable and totally fucked up. And I honestly just want nothing to do with you guys. Short of you showing me that you completely recognize what you did.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Like, and I didn't, honestly, like you clearly don't because I've gotten tons of like all your messages are full of excuses and justifications. It's like, I'm sorry this happened to you, but I did this, or I'm sorry, but blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, similar again, the situation with Nellie and her mom.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
It's just like, I don't think it's quite registered yet because it's like she, everything out of her mouth is I'm sorry, but like I'm the victim here. Yeah. You know, because she feels bad for like not handling it the way she should have handled it. And, but that's, you know, and again, I'm not trying to compare, you know, Natalie and her mom will get through this.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
It's nothing compared to what happened to you. I just, I really feel for you that you've been burdened with this choice of having to keep the peace and protecting yourself from constantly being triggered about your assault.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah. And listen, they are family. So it might be unrealistic to not ever see them again, but it's very realistic to just set a very clear boundary where like, I just do not want you around me. I do not want you reaching out. I mean, I think you should block her for one. If she, you know, she can't text you if she, if you're blocked. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I just, unless I'm not understanding your story, I think what's dramatic and disgusting is the way your cousin and his wife has handled this and the way they've put you in the shoes and the fact that she is so self-centered and thinking about how this reflects on her and how this is a reflecting her is all I need to know about this person. And I don't know why you would ever want it.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Like if she can't have your back in this situation, she'll never actually have your back ever.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah, I don't think you should. I have cousins I don't talk to.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But I mean, I've come to terms with like, I don't care. I've had those cousins reach out to their parents to complain to my parents. And my response is, I don't care.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And to be clear, I just find them to be... I don't trust them and I find them to be kind of like drama. But I'm definitely... I'm very good at setting boundaries. I am. I always have been. But like this, there's nothing... Like I just don't... My choice is more a product. I'm being proactive and being like, I don't trust them. I think they're a drama.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I've had too many situations in the past where letting this person into my life created more drama. Listen, you will disrupt a piece. I don't know. I guess you just have to decide which is more... Listen, it will be infinitely more difficult if your mom in any way applies guilt towards you for saying, hey, mom, dad, like, just so you are aware, this is what's going on with cousin and his wife.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And this is how it's made me feel. And I can't ever be around them. What they did to me is unforgivable. I hope that I have your support. And mom, like, obviously, if you want, I'm not asking you not to talk to your brother or anything like that, but please don't ask me to ever be around them.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And please protect me from having to engage with them because seeing them is simply just a trigger and a reminder of what happened. And I hope your parents say whatever you need.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Well, a year, maybe your mom has some work to do then.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
So... You know, I mean, you know, again, I have some very clear and strong opinions. Like, it's my job to protect my daughter. And whatever happens to my daughter is not an inconvenience to me. And...
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
i love my family and i love my siblings and i love my parents but like nothing matters more than the safety of my daughter her emotions her well-being her physical safety and nothing matters more and i look forward to standing up for her and i look forward to being her in a time of crisis and that's an opportunity for me to be her dad And like, that is not a burden on me. It is my job.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
It is my responsibility. It does not make my life worse. It makes me sad to hear my daughter might have been hurt and it will break my heart. But that is my burden and my cross to bear. And it's my opportunity to be her dad.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Thanks. But that's how every parent should be. And it's not your job as a child to carry that burden. It is not your job to look out for the emotional well-being of your mom, specifically when it's your burden and you have to hold on to your pain to protect your parents. That's not your job.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
No, I mean, there you may be. Yeah. Listen, the sad reality is, is there may be moments where you're going to have to remove yourself from a situation where otherwise you would want to be because they're probably not going to buy.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And that'll be a choice that you'll have to make. But I think it's okay for you to make that. I'm not telling you what you should do. I just want to give you permission to do it without any guilt of how it might affect other people. If you don't want to go to a Christmas party that they're going to attend, then you shouldn't have to go and you shouldn't have to feel bad about it.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And if you want to go, then you should have the right to go. But no one should be pressuring you or trying to convince you or making you feel bad for setting a boundary on this topic.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You don't ever have to be over it. I hope that you are healed as much as you can be from this experience, but you don't have to get over it. you know?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Why can't you just block? Why just block her? What's I mean, what do what you want, but what's the difference? What, what are you hoping happens?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Before we get to the next caller, we just want to give a quick trigger warning. The next call deals with the topic of sexual assault and sexual violence, which is obviously a very sensitive issue to many. So we want to make you guys aware before moving on to the next call. How's it going?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And you're not blocking her to start drama. Right? I mean, that's not your intention.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Correct. And she's not. And her texting you emotionally affects you. It ruins your day, maybe multiple days. It consumes your energy when it brings you back. These are all incredibly unfair things that are happening to you. So that's why you're doing it. If you were just like, you know what, I just wanna fuck with her because she pissed me. If you're doing it to be petty, don't do it.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But I don't think you're doing it to be petty. What I hope for you is that you just do things for yourself without worrying about how it's going to affect other people specifically when it comes to this and how other people react to you setting your boundaries is a them problem.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And you, you know, if she wants to throw a fit, I mean, listen, I, I guess I can only assume that, I mean, do you think, okay, let's you block her, right? She gets mad. She throws a fit, whatever. She can't rage text you anymore because she's blocked. Um, Block her on email, block her on Instagram, block her across the fucking board. So what could she do?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Could she go to other family members and say, Tiffany blocked me? Sure, but is she really going to force your hand to explain to people why?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah. I mean, even if all this guy did was grope you, I would have just as strong of as an opinion. And the fact that this guy was so much worse, I, yeah. I mean, to your point, I just like your cousin and his wife are on fucking Mars.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But I would have to, you know, talk to them. Yeah. I just, I don't know. I'm really sorry that you have to deal with this. It sucks.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
yeah no i know life you know and you will in and i'm i'm i'm clearly you are resilient and and that's a it's a it's a value that i core value that i value the most and so i'm glad you have that but i i think it's also okay for you to just say that's fucking terrible and i don't deserve this and if you want to talk about fairness the only one who's not being treated fairly is you
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And that's okay for you to say that and acknowledge that. And it's okay for people to give you that empathy. It's just not your job to be the strong person here. And it's like, what I'm hearing from you is like, you have to be strong for everyone else in your family so that they're not inconvenienced by your assault.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
It's their fault. No, it's their fault for how they're choosing to handle this. Tragedy happens sadly to us all or our loved ones. And in that moment, we can either decide to be there for them in the best possible way we know how, or we can act like it's inconvenient for us.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You know, like let's say River for some reason down the line gets addicted to some kind of drug or something. I could either say to myself, all right, how do I be there and help my kid? Or I could worry about how that's going to reflect on me to my community. That's a choice I can make. Sadly, a lot of people make the latter choice. I don't think I will. That's the choice.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
It's not anyone's fault other than that man for what he did. But how these people are reacting to you being a victim is a choice they are making and they should be accountable for their choices.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And you have the right to hold these people accountable. Including your mom.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah, sometimes tough love is the only way to get through to people. Like, again, bring up Natalie and her mom confrontation. I'm very confident they'll get through this and I'm very confident her mom is going to finally realize that she really fucked up and truly give the appropriate response to Natalie that she should have.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But it didn't happen without some tough conversations between Natalie and her mom and quite frankly from me as well. And that's okay. And sometimes you just need to say the thing. And in the heat of the moment, you're not going to get the reaction you want. There's going to be some defensiveness and things like that.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But my hope for your mom, of all people, is to that she processes what's happened, takes her feelings out of it and says, my only job right now is to be a mother to my daughter. And everything else is inconsequential.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You have the right to overreact. You have the right to be emotional. We're talking about assault here. And I think what makes me so sad for you is that you've been made to feel that your feelings about this are wrong. And whatever you're feeling is totally fine. It's totally justified.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And the fact that these people, again, they're not the ones who did what he did to you, but they are accountable for their choices. And you have the right to feel a certain way about the choices that they're making without any guilt or shame around it.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. It's therapy, people. We know how important it can be. I'll say it over and over and over. Take care of your mental health, people. I have a friend who was like, you know, they were, let's just say, they had their ups and downs emotionally, some stuff, some drama going on. They were having some conflict with other people in their life.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And then they were talking about like this friend, they're in great physical shape, just my opinion, you know, but they were like, you know what? I really want to get a trainer. And I was like, how about therapy? You know? you know, to each their own.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I just think, listen, you know, if you're going to work out in the gym and do the curls or get a trainer or do Pilates, whatever it is you do, that's awesome. That's great. And that honestly can definitely help with your mental and physical health. But sometimes you got to work through your issues, people, and a help of a good therapist can go a long, long way.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Regardless of what issues you are facing, general anxiety, work problems, money problems, maybe you are just like kind of at odds with people. Maybe there's some internal conflict going on inside that maybe you just need to work through. What do you have to lose? Probably nothing. And you have a lot to gain, very little to lose by trying out therapy.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
What I love about BetterHelp, they break down some of those typical obstacles that cause people to avoid jumping into therapy, like the cost, the availability, and the convenience, and just the ease of finding a new therapist. We know how hard and difficult it can be to find a therapist. You don't want to talk to your friends or ask your friends sometimes. It's a personal thing. We get it.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And well, I'm very sorry that happened. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co slash audio. How's it going?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
All right. So... Did I mess that up? No, that was perfect. But I'm more perplexed by how are you letting him down by not buying him a house? Where does he fit in the responsibility of buying a house?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I would love if your boyfriend were on this call. Um, This is a tale as old as time that a lot of people in your position feel very justified for the feelings that they're feeling. But just pragmatically speaking, my sister, years ago, this was like right before the housing crisis of like 2007, 2008. Her then fiance, so you're not even engaged yet. So they bought a house together.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Then the housing crisis happened. And then they subsequently, they broke up, partly because he had a gambling problem and all that other shit. But either way, they broke up because people break up. And it was a financial nightmare for her because he had so many money problems. They couldn't sell the house because the house wasn't worth what they paid for because the housing market crashed.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I'm not necessarily saying that's going to happen again. No, but like love doesn't conquer all, you know, and there's a lot of different ways to make two people in a relationship feel like they're taking the next step in their relationship and feel like they're advancing their relationship, moving in together and certainly buying a house together.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
What it really is, is unnecessary pressure on a relationship that, is trying to grow and evolve. And when you add unnecessary pressure to a relationship, it can often ruin a relationship. If you both can't afford to buy a house without each other, I wouldn't buy a house. I think if you're married, buy a house together.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
If you can afford to buy a house on your own, then you should buy a house and you can decide whether you want to charge him rent or not.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Well, that's, well, you've heard me say, you know, the three B's, the broom, the budget and the bed. When it comes to like the relationship, you know, if one of those three things are in disconnect, that's often means doom for a relationship.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
So if you can't have tough discussions about, you know, the broom, whose responsibility is to do what in the house, to clean the house, pay the bills, get groceries, mow the lawn, you know, just like who does what. That's the broom, the bed, you know, that speaks for itself in terms of, are you guys connecting in the bedroom where you both feel like your needs are being met?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And then the budget, you know, like, and the budget is often the one that has, it requires the most difficult conversations because especially in your case, you make more money than your, your boyfriend. Then you have to worry about him feeling emasculated and all these other variables and things like that. But like,
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
If you want to be with this man and you want to have a successful relationship with this man, you two are going to have to have these tough conversations. And, you know, he doesn't have any leverage here. He can't afford the house. So he doesn't have to be okay with it. I mean, he can choose to break up with you, I guess. And I imagine that would make you sad. And I'm not saying you want that.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah. If this man is going to break up with you because you're, you know, and again, you're someone who's already experienced financial hardships from poor financial choices. This would be, in my opinion, another poor financial choice. And I don't think guilt and accommodating your boyfriend should be the reason you make another bad financial choice.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But goddamn bartender. which, you know, like all the respect in the world for the service industry, but that's a choice he is making. You can make a lot of money, but I don't know what his education or his talents are. I'm guessing if he wanted to make more money, he could choose other professions. And if he doesn't want to, that's fine.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But he doesn't get to place that burden on you because you're in a profession that makes more money. My ultimate point is, either you guys are going to get married, assuming there's no prenup or anything like that, either you guys are going to get married or you're not going to get married someday. And if you get married, all of these conversation about who pays for what or not are irrelevant.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
It just, everything becomes both of yours, depending on what state you're in and things like that in terms of down payments, like California is a little different, like, but, And if you don't get married, then you absolutely want to make sure you're making these smart financial choices and not thinking about love when making these choices or upsetting your partner.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Because then that's when shit really hits the fan. Because if you do break up, no one's nice. No one's accommodating. And you're going to be left with the bill. And you're going to be shit out of luck. And the burden is going to fall on you because you're the one who has the means. And he's going to bail on you.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
In my opinion, I don't think your boyfriend has any right to have an opinion about how you spend your money and vice versa. I don't think you have a right to really have an opinion about how he spends his money. You guys can have conversations about the goals you have as a couple, but those expectations should be equal.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
this was just a coworker or close friend? Like how?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
He doesn't get to be like, well, you make more money than it's really your job to save. It's not my job to save.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I think it would be crazy for you guys to buy a house together.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But like, you know, I mean, I've been engaged through multiple times.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
So there you go. I mean, I'm just saying like, you know, I just, I think you're, you're, I get it. Like, These are not fun conversations to have with your boyfriend or girlfriend because it feels very unromantic and it feels like, but like couples should not be afraid to acknowledge reality. And the reality is like for every couple, if you guys don't do the work every day,
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
to keep your connection strong and you know then things might go south and there is no reason for you guys to make financial bets on your relationship just because because that's what you're doing you're making a financial bet on your relationship you're going to vegas and you're saying i'm gonna bet fifty thousand dollars we'll never break up yeah that's what you're doing
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Well, I mean, the marriage part I get, but like, you know, maybe that's where you can, you know, again, I don't don't get engaged if you don't want to get engaged. But maybe maybe you've driven. Maybe you've set this very rigid boundary that maybe you don't need to set specifically when it comes to getting engaged as it relates to your debt.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Did you, and again, at your comfort level, after it happened, you told people, did you consider reaching out to authorities or anything like that? Or like, what was your thought process going in?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You know, if you're like, hey, I really want to deal with this. I guess if I'm trying to empathize with your boyfriend, you're like, I don't wanna get married and I don't even wanna get engaged. He's trying to find other things to feel like this relationship is advancing, right? And you've taken engagement off the table. So maybe he's just, in his mind, decided that, well, buying a house together
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Will make him feel more secure in a relationship. Maybe his reaction to all this, while I find to be surprising, if I'm, again, if I'm trying to put my, not a therapist, but if I were trying to invoke what I think my therapist would say to me and shit, is that maybe he's got his own abandonment issues. And he definitely does. So like, you don't want to get engaged. You don't want to get married.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You're like, no, no, no, no, no. On all these like other things that he would otherwise do to advance the relationship. You can get engaged and break up. I understand the marriage and the debt part, but like also you could sign a prenup too. You could sign a prenup. Maybe I think when it comes to debt, you know, where it's just like my debt is my debt. I don't know. Maybe creditors. I don't know.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Maybe that's a conversation for a lawyer. But there's things you can do. So maybe you have to offer him something. I think it's a lot smarter to get engaged than buy a house together.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah. So it's, I think there's a little bit of, uh, abandonment anxiety or whatever going on. And I think some of his response to these conversations is there's a deeper issue here, you know, but I think I just more than anything, I need you both to recognize that minus the love aspect, marriage is a, is a contract. And so is buying a house. Engagement, you don't have to sign anything.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
So make decisions that are much easier to get out of. Decisions that require lawyers to get out of, you better be sure you're ready.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah, and if you get married, then the house becomes half his anyways.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Have you guys considered couples therapy as a, you know, in general and to talk about this issue?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Well, I don't. My guess is. you've already tried. And despite what I'm saying to you now, maybe I'm just going to reaffirm your position and make you feel confident to hold your ground. But you're not, you know, you're trying to resolve this conflict with your boyfriend, right? That's why you called.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You're trying to figure out how there's a, there's a huge disconnect between the two of you right now. And despite what you and I feel, your boyfriend is an understanding, right? So you and I can agree all we want, but your goal isn't for you to be right. Your goal is to be happy with your boyfriend.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And listen, if he wants to come on, I can try to articulate my point of view, but maybe it'd just be easier for you guys to look up a couples therapist about this particular issue.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Sometimes, you know, lots of times couples during couples, you know, it's like the worst time to get, I mean, there's no bad time to get in couples therapy, but the most common time is like, like you said, it's like when you're about to break up or, you know, you've already broken up and someone's trying to get back together. And it's like, usually that's too late there.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I always say like therapy is way more effective when you treat it like a bicycle helmet or a safety belt rather than treat it like reconstructive surgery.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And so... He doesn't typically believe in therapy, so I feel like that's why he's... Listen, he's going to have to work with you, you know?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
That's not going to get any better if you don't deal with that. So like marrying this person who you're describing as someone who either gets too emotional or too combative for you to try to get any resolution with him, you just give up is not a recipe for success. You can deal with it right now, but that will only lead to resentment. So you need to figure out
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
how to deal with difficult conversations that trigger your boyfriend, especially when he gets emotional. You need to figure out how to resolve those types of issues with your boyfriend, whatever those issues are, or this relationship is doomed. It's just a matter of time. I don't know when the bomb will go off,
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
but it will eventually go off if you can't learn how to deal with this with your boyfriend. So my advice is to, you guys need a third party. I mean, because clearly there's more going on than just like a disagreement about, you know, how to buy this house. There's some abandonment issues probably going on, things like that.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And he is leading with his emotions while you're trying to lead with your brain, so to speak. And you're trying to be pragmatic about this. And he's making this about how this makes him feel as a man and how insecure this makes him feel in this relationship, et cetera, et cetera. And for him, those feelings are incredibly valid. And while valid as they might be, it doesn't make your position valid.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
It's very easy to travel with. If you're someone who travels on the go a lot, the Quip 360 is great for that because some electric toothbrushes that I've had in the past, not so easy when you travel. It's a little bit bulky and cumbersome. Ask any dentist and they will tell you most people brush too hard.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Sure. And you can say, listen, I want all those things too, but you guys have to maybe acknowledge, it's only been in my relationship with Natalie where we can acknowledge a disconnect. Before that, I would just fight with my partners and I would try to be right and they would try to be right and we would fight. And the longer we tried to be right, the more we would fight.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You guys need to just sit there and be like, we're just not on the same page here. And what we can agree on is that we want to get on the same page. We're disconnected. We want to connect. How do we do that? Because we've already agreed we don't agree. So let's not relitigate all the things we don't agree on over and over and over because you need a third party.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Someone needs to come in and let both of you speak because now what's happening with you guys because you guys have heard your arguments over and over. You guys are just tuning each other out. He says, and you're just like, yeah, I don't hear you, whatever. You talk and he's just like, yeah, whatever, I hear you. And he's just waiting to respond and you're just waiting to respond.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
A good couples therapist will play referee, make sure that the other person's listening, check in, pay attention to like when he is speaking, a good therapist is going to look at you and watch your body language and like pay attention and about whether you're actually hearing about what he is saying. And if he or she senses that you're not, they'll check in and then vice versa.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Because right now you guys are just throwing punches.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And usually what happens in these situations with what you guys are doing, if you don't actually figure out how to reconnect, then what actually happens is someone just gives in. And they don't give in because their mind has changed. They give in because they're just tired of fighting and they're just like, whatever, I guess.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And they convince themselves that they're okay with giving in when deep down they're really not. And that's what leads to resentment.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah, so you've already broken up once with this man for doing exactly what he's doing, and he's not, it doesn't sound like he's made many improvements in this department. You just basically got a break.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Because there are things that maybe you're doing wrong here. It's not about right or wrong. It wouldn't surprise me to come to find out there are maybe ways that you could communicate things differently that don't trigger him, period. Or whether you trigger him, make him feel abandoned or whatever, bring out this child in him that gets hyper emotional.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I'm so sorry. And so I'm just kind of, I'm blown away by these people's reaction. Like it, I mean, minus, I guess everyone.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I'm sure you both could communicate better with each other. And so listen, if you go to him and say, listen, I really want to figure this out with you. We're obviously not seeing eye to eye on this big decision. These are huge decisions for us. And I would like us to go to a couples therapy so that we can try to get on the same page and honestly deal with this issue.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But maybe we'll just learn how to better communicate with each other. And if he shuts you down there, then your response would be like, listen, I don't know what to tell you. You're not like, I don't believe in therapy. What does that even mean? This is like, you're not asking him to like change religions. Like what do you, you don't have to believe in therapy to go to therapy. Just go.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Call it therapy. Call it a middleman. It's a therapy. Or we could call up this podcaster who's not a therapist. Whatever. Someone needs to mediate. Yeah, it could be a friend. It could be a parent. But it's better off when it's someone who should be unbiased and someone who's not. Someone's side so no one can be like, well, it's your mom or it's your friend or it's the podcast you listen to.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
It should be a third-party person. And if he is unwilling to do that, then he's giving you nothing. He's giving you nothing. You, I mean, you have, he has to give you something.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah. I don't want to break up with you. I want to marry you. But we have to make sure... But I want us to create an environment that gives us the best chance to last. Because I don't want to marry you for a period of time. And I want us to both be happy. I think you...
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
What you should try to do for the foreseeable future when you're in conflict with your boyfriend is focus on using we and us language. Not like you do this and I do this. I wouldn't even engage in the house conversation. The fight you should fight right now is getting the two of you into couples therapy. And you should do that by saying us and we. I would like us to get married someday.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I want us to survive that marriage. I want us to be more connected. I want us to be on the same page. And I think we should go to couples therapy so that we can be closer together.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And if he wants to fight you on that, then you're going to have to ask yourself if this guy is actually willing to be in a partnership with you or is he expecting you to like constantly concede because he's not willing to do the work and emotionally regulate himself.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But that's not how it works. I mean, you're, if that's really how your boyfriend thinks, then he has some growing up to do. And, quite honestly, it sounds like he may need some individual therapy, but I think step one is get you guys into couples therapy and get him maybe more comfortable with that.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
So he doesn't feel like, you know, if you suggest therapy, that's going to make him feel like he's the person in the wrong and he needs to do the work or whatever. But like you're in therapy, I don't know. You know? So yeah, he's, I know you love him. I know you want to make this work, but he's got to work with you. And so right now I think you should give him the opportunity to work with you.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
People have to do their part. You cannot do his work for him. You can do 100% of your half and he has to be willing to do his. Saying I love you and saying I want to marry you and saying I want to have kids with you is not enough. Those are just words. You have to show up every day. You have to look in the mirror and ask, how could I do better? How can I be more accountable? What role can I play?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And again, that's only your part. And, you know, I'm sure you have improvements to make in this relationship as everyone does. But right now I'm hearing a lot of like, You're trying to do that. And he's just leading with his emotions constantly.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And when he feels triggered or he feels like unsafe in this relationship because of his abandonment issues, he uses that as a trump card over everything else. And you don't know what to do. And he turns into this like child like self. And you often just concede because he's throwing an adult temper tantrum. And again, for small things, yeah, like you can get by doing that for a period of time.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But as it's always are, which has already been the case in this relationship, it runs its course.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You guys both need to, and if he can't, he needs to do some work. No relationship is going to survive if the two of you don't create a safe space for one of you to acknowledge that sadness, disappointment, frustration in the relationship because that's inevitable. You have to be able to come to your partner and listen, I have embattlement issues. Natalie has embattlement issues.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
We're both fucked up. We have our shit that we deal with. But what we've worked really hard on is creating an environment where we can come to the other person and say, hey, I'm upset right now. This is bothering me. And yeah, it's easy to get defensive and sure, we're all human, but like you have to create a space where that's okay. Because if it's not okay, then there's no connection.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
There's no communication. There's just resentment. Everything that you're describing is going to lead to, it already has clearly led to resentment and it's going to lead to even more.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
All you can do is go to him and say, I love you. I love us. We have, as all couples do our problems, but I want to feel more connected and I want us to feel closer to each other. And I want us to go to couples therapy to work through some of our big disconnects, one being buying a house, but honestly, just in general. And it's not because I'm thinking about breaking up with you.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
It's because I want to marry you. And I think we could be a stronger couple than we are. And we should both want that for us. And the more you say we and us, the less likely you will make him feel like it's you against him. So maybe some of your link, like I think about it. I really think about we and us. When you're talking to him, make sure you're saying the word we and us as much as possible.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Speak slowly. Just like when I'm saying, oh, here's what you should say. I'm consciously being like, all right, we, us, you know what I'm saying? Like you can do it. And that really matters. Because when he hears we, he hears us. You know what I'm saying? He wants to hear us, us, us. We, we, we, we, we. I made Natalie watch an old movie called Far and Away last night. It's a great movie.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
If you've ever seen it, it's with Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise. It's made in the 90s, whatever. I was like, you've got to watch this. And there's a scene in the movie, like the characters, whatever, she's rich, he's poor, they fall in love. But the whole movie, she's kind of like mean to him. You know, he's secretly in love with her, but she's always been mean to him.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And he has an opportunity and she goes, this could get us out of here. And he goes, us? And there's this moment and she's like, well, I mean you, but he was so happy to hear the word us because when she said us, that meant they were together. So for a guy who has a lot of abandonment issues, the more you can say us and we, it will go a long way with him. I promise you.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And especially when you're pitching couples therapy, you know, if you say, hey, I think we should go to couples therapy because like you and I are just not getting along, that's going to trigger him. If you say, I think we should go to couples therapy because I just want us to continue to be closer. And when I want us to get married and I want us to be stronger and that's my biggest priority.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And I think we should do that together. Much better chance of not triggering him.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
He'll be an emotional terrorist and push you away until you're forced to break up with him again.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
yeah and then i'll feel like it's just like we're right back to square one no so listen he he's got to do his part and you can only do 100 of yours but there it sounds like there's some things you can do try to implement those and see what happens uh but buying a house before you two are married go to vegas and bet 50 000 in your relationship you're doing the same goddamn thing
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And then it's even potentially more because if you do break up, lawyers, I don't know, last time I heard, they're pretty expensive. Therapy's much cheaper.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
At work, you're making financial decisions without making emotional decisions. You are incorporating your emotions into your finances. And that's why we often don't take our own advice or this is very emotional for you. It's love. It's, you know, so it's much harder for you to make the same decisions you would maybe make for your clients because you're not emotionally invested in these decisions.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You're just, you know, one plus one equals two. But when it comes to love, you're like, I don't know. I mean, one plus one usually equals two. But, like, what if it equals three? And that's what your boyfriend is constantly trying to convince you, that one plus one equals three. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But until then, but you're not married yet. And like, that's a great plan if you guys get married, but like he doesn't get to use that as a way to like put the financial burden on you.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Your boyfriend has some work he needs to do, in my humble opinion.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I don't know. I don't know. People can change, but he has to be willing to change. So yeah, if he's not willing to do the work, if he's not willing to go to therapy, certainly if he's not willing to go to couples therapy, you're eventually going to have to ask yourself, is he willing to change? Because he's not going to change for you. He has to change for himself. He has to want to do this. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
He may force your hand and you're going to have, and that's something you're going to have to actually ask yourself because again, love it. Love is not enough.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Sure. But if where he's at is like making me miserable doing it, though. Sure. Yeah. Because where he's at sounds like kind of like an emotional teenager.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
That's crazy. You can't do that. It's exhausting. You're only 29. So if I were in your position, I would give the next six to 12 months some real effort on getting this relationship back on track and trying to encourage the both of you to get the help that the two of you need in this relationship and hope that he's willing to work with you.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And if he continues to be resistant, I think you really need to seriously consider whether this is your person.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
No, don't do that. That'll trigger him. What I'm saying is it should be enough for you to go to him and say, again, listen, babe, I really love you. And I hope you know this, but I'm just going to say it. A life with you is something I desire. I plan on marrying you. I want to have kids with you. But we are often disconnected.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And right now we're having a big, we're not on the same page when it comes to the finances in the house. I'd like us to do couples therapy because that can help us work through our conflict better. It can teach us tools to be more connected. And I want to feel more connected to you. And I would like us to do that. That's all you say. And that should be enough for him to say, you know what?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Sure, I'm willing. I'm not really a fan of therapy. I don't believe it. But yeah, what's the harm in trying? Because yeah, I don't want to fight with you either. And I want us to be on the same page. And if he tries to bring up the fight, if he tries to bring up the house, be like, listen, I don't want to relitigate this with you. We've done this 100 times.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Can we just agree that we're not agreeing on this right now? I think we need someone to help us work through this because we haven't been able to work through this on our own. And what I care about is us and I care about being stronger together. And again, that should be enough.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And if he keeps being resistant, then you're going to finally have to ask yourself some tough questions because you're right.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
making idle threats and like that's only going to trigger him and it's not going to do any good and you don't he doesn't deserve a heads up people are blindsided if you come if you eventually have to break up with this guy it's not clearly not because you want to and he's going to be sad and he's going to be mad he's going to throw a fit and he's going to hate you but like you know that's life i don't you know it's like you know it's not your it's not your responsibility
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
to emotionally take care of this guy especially if you decide to leave this relationship and if you do want to have kids with this guy the last thing you need is kids and a husband who's also emotionally a child yeah and i feel like that's what i'm scared of because it feels like i have to emotionally regulate him at all times and at some point you might you have to communicate that to him and if he has a hard time hearing that well that's part of the problem
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Sure, well, yeah, when people want to get back together, they'll say anything.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
If you buy the house, he should have nothing to do with it. And if that emotionally triggers him, then he needs to make different life choices. I don't. It's just, it's that simple. And if he can't handle that, I mean, I think you need to take a real pause and ask yourself some tough questions.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Because what I'm hearing from you is you don't believe he's capable of making the changes I'm hoping that he can make with you guys. And if that's the case, then, you know, get out while you can. You're only 29. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You know what I'm saying? You're going to have to find out whether he's willing to do it.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I know. But listen, if it doesn't work out the way you want, you'll get through it. You're going to learn from shit. So if this isn't the guy that you end up with, the next relationship you get in, make sure... I don't know if I can handle two failed engagements. you'll live. I've handled, I've handled them. Uh, no one gives a shit. It's fine. And you're not engaged right now.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Don't, so don't get, you know, so do I hold that off? Yeah. I think right now you guys have a lot of work to do. And if he's not willing to get into couples therapy, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't make any big decisions. If this is a guy who clearly is emotionally unpredictable, which emotionally unpredictable, people make you feel unsafe. They just do.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And if that's who he is, then he needs to do some work before you do anything. And if he can't handle that truth, then he's really giving you nothing to work with.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
That's not enough. Because what do they say? Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is empathetic. Love doesn't say, well, it's your job to do this. And it's your responsibility to do this. And if you did this for me, I would be better. Love isn't putting the entire burden on your partner. Love is asking yourself, how can I better take care of my partner? I'm hearing a little bit of that from you.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I'm hearing none of that from him. And I'm sure he does things for you and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But in this particular department, he can't see the forest through the trees.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
No, yeah, no. He would be, your relationship would be the first in the history of relationships and I'm guessing it won't be.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Like, Moving in together, buying a house together doesn't solve problems. It just creates more stress if there's already conflict. It creates whatever conflict is already there, it will magnify that conflict tenfold, hundredfold.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
All right. Well, keep us updated. I'd love to know what happens, but you got to ask yourself some tough questions. But, you know, listen, see if he's willing to do couples therapy. But if he stonewalls you there, I don't know how much hope there is. Yeah. Yeah.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
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The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
When you say protect, how are you protecting your family from him?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And that would be what? Just not being around? Yes.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Okay. When I'm hearing from you, and just my humble opinion, I'm hearing a lot of hurt on your end, obviously, justifiably so. A lot of pain. And I think that pain is coming out. And I think, you know, I'm sure you've heard the phrase, hurt people hurt people, right? Yes.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And when you say, you know, protect or when you say, you know, I think, you know, having access to pictures of my kids and my family is a privilege. And what I'm kind of hearing from you is that that's way of punishing your dad for not being the dad he should have been.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
they're going to be okay. They have a support system. Also, grandparents sometimes get old. And if people are lucky enough to know their grandparents, sadly, most of them, unless there's real tragedy for the kids, everyone has to experience loss of a grandparent, right? My grandfather wasn't really, you know, my dad's dad, he cheated on my grandma, moved to Florida. I don't know.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I have like three or four memories of him, right? We weren't really that close. I was okay. You know what I'm saying? I remember one time he took us to the zoo. I was like six or seven. The one time he went to his apartment. He was definitely a guy I didn't know much of. He ended up passing when I was in high school, but I really didn't know the guy. But that did not affect me one bit.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Again, because I was very much loved by my parents. Most importantly, my grandmothers were obviously in our life. I was close with my grandmothers. Sadly, my other grandfather passed when I was like...
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
in the third fourth grade but unless there's something you're specifically protecting him from like abandonment i think they're gonna be okay like they're her they're grandparents grandparents you know i mean some families maybe a grandma or grandpa like a second mom and dad and maybe they're living in the family and yeah that might be traumatic of one day like one of those parents just up and left but again like grandparents also do
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
get old and some, you know, often eventually pass away. So like, I don't know how much protecting is required, you know, from, from grandpa with what you're describing. Right. Does that make sense?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Oh, I mean, that would be understandable. I'm sorry that happened to you. And I'm sorry you handled it that way. There's no excuse for it. You know, now he's not an ass Nick, but on, on reality recap from time to time, it gets brought up, especially on GD where, you know, our guests will open about their, their parenting. She has an amazing relationship with her mom. Not so much with her dad.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And as Natalie has described, she has come to accept, along with her siblings, that he just doesn't really know how to be a dad. He just doesn't have that dad bone in his body. And he often says off-putting things and things that you would never think that your dad would. would say. It's usually out of awkwardness or him just being fucking weird or whatever the fuck.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
This is not in any way to justify how your dad handled that situation. I think if you decide to allow your dad to be in your life in any capacity, you're going to have to accept certain truths about your dad. You're going to have to limit your expectations. Because what I'm hearing from you right now is, and I think it's very understandable and very normal, is
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You're hurt that your dad wasn't there. You're hurt that your dad failed you in many ways. I'm sure there's a long list. And you want your dad to be a good fucking dad. You want your dad to step up in ways you've probably seen your friend's dad step up. So you have a certain expectation of what you wish your dad would be. And your dad's not that person. And he probably will never be that person.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And that sucks. And you're going to have to accept that. And so the question is, can you accept that and still take whatever he can give, which is probably not much.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But it's still something, you know, when it comes to family, in my opinion, is often better than nothing, unless it really is someone who really is hurting you, who really is putting you and your family at risk, you know, whether it's just, you know, in any capacity. And so, like, in the future, if you allow your dad back into your life, he's not the guy you go to for any problem.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
If he surprises you one day with, you know, like if one day, you know, you allow your dad back in your life and things are, you know, civil and he just throws out some random advice that you're like, wow, that was really helpful. Be surprised. you know, but like, you know, it really comes down to the acceptance. You have to accept your dad for who he is. And you're having a hard time doing that.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You're still hoping your dad could be someone he's not. And so again, you know, you going to him for anything is like, it's like, you're wanting to give your, every time something happens to you where you need a dad, you're going to your dad and hoping he can finally be a dad. And then every time he shows you he can't be a dad. And then that hurts you. And that's painful to hear.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And so I think if you want to have your dad in your life, you have to recalibrate your expectations of him. You kind of have to tell yourself, I don't know what his childhood was like. I don't know what happened to him. But this is clearly the best he can do. And so I'm going to take what I can get and have zero expectations. And at first, yeah, I would have my guard up.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
I would have very clear boundaries. And I would say, hey, listen, I'm open to this, but clearly I'm reluctant about your ability to stay in our life. So I want to set some clear boundaries. And if you can show me that you can work within these boundaries, we can talk about you know, the future and maybe getting closer, but he has to demonstrate his ability to work within your boundaries.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But you know what I'm saying? Does that make sense?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah. I mean, I guess all you can do is just keep reinforcing those boundaries and just say, Hey, I appreciate you wanting to see me on some level that, that does mean a lot, but I am not ready. And I really need you to work on my pace, you know, and
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And so I said, why, I mean, not to sidetrack, but why did, Why did you and your boyfriend break up three days after this wedding?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
So I know I would just caution you and I know it's not your intention, but I would just caution you not to, I guess I don't know if a better way to say it, but kind of use your kid as a way to express your frustrations towards your dad. Like you said, your kid's well-loved and taken care of. Your son's going to be okay because he has you and your husband and grandma and grandpa.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
A lot of people, when they call in, they're talking boyfriend and girlfriend stuff or situationships. And they're like, should I block them? And I'm always like, if you want to block them to protect your peace, block them. But if you're going to block them to get a reaction and be petty, then I don't do that. And earlier when you were talking about Facebook and blocking them,
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
you blocked him and you said, well, I think it's a privilege. And it kind of, what I heard that is like, you're kind of trying, it was, what I heard is you were almost trying to punish them and they, you didn't think they deserved the chance to see pictures.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
It wasn't really, you know, if your Facebook's public and if Joe Schmo can see pictures of your son, then why can't your dad, but you didn't think he deserved it. So you kind of wanted to punish him. I don't think that's very productive. You know, like I think you're in a way you're kind of using your son to hurt your dad, knowing that he wants, you know, because he doesn't deserve it.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And I'm not saying he does deserve it. And I'm not saying I don't understand. I just don't think that's going to do you any good in the long run. And I think you really need to Really think when you're triggered, like clearly your dad is triggering for you and totally understandably so. And when you're triggered, right, it's fight or flight.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You want to react, you know, and you're in it when it comes your dad. I'm hearing fight. You know, you get triggered by your dad and you kind of want to fight back, you know, and I would caution you to be mindful not to do that.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Forgiveness is not Your dad needs to do nothing.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
There's nothing he can't, you know what I'm saying? Like, I mean, maybe he can apologies, but like, you know, again, it will probably be riddled with excuses and justifications. Like, if you want to forgive your dad, part of it is just, it comes from acceptance. It is accepting that your dad would do better if he knew how.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
That's probably a hard thing for him to realize. And I'm sure, listen, your ability to forgive will come from your ability to empathize. You were a victim of your childhood and you were a victim of your dad's upbringing. And that wasn't fair to you. And sadly, nothing, you know, we can't change the past and your dad will probably never be the dad you hoped he would be, you know?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Jesus. I'm just at a loss for words for people. To be clear, your cousin and his now wife were informed by you of what this man did to you.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And that's what I mean. Like, so it's really just, it's forgiving and then resetting your expectations because right now you have a lot of pain and you have a lot of anger and you're, you're not in a place for forgiveness. And then you still are wanting and hoping and expecting him to change course.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And it's like your subconscious brain is telling you until he shows you he can be the dad I always need him to be, then fuck him.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah, and the best possible way, maybe it's from your mom or whatever, but hopefully, like you said, you don't plan on continuing this toxic pattern that seemed to be something that was going on in your dad's side of the family.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
So forgiving him is simply just, again, accepting who he is and just forgiving the past because there's nothing, you know, it's, it's not like, well, I needed him to do X, Y, or Z before I forgive them. Well, then you probably won't ever be able to forgive him because he's probably not going to be able to do X, Y, or Z. Right. And your dad will probably continue to disappoint you.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You know, Nally has, you know, an okay relationship with her dad and she has forgiven him and she accepts who he is, but he still does things where she's just like, what the fuck? You know?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
There was no gray area. You were very clear about what happened.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah. Who he was, like who he was. Yeah. That he just, as she puts it, like, he just doesn't have the dad bone. This is not in his nature. Why? She didn't, you know, she didn't try to figure out why. Because his parents, incredible grandparents. Who knows what life was like when he was a kid or back then. Her experience with her grandparents has been nothing but lovely.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Her dad's brother, excellent father. So, like, she, you know, which was especially hard on her because it was like, well, what's the fucking problem? You know, like everyone around you seem, you know, I got their great grandparents, you know, your brother, my uncle has been a better dad to me than you are. Like, and that was very hard for her to accept.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
You have to stop trying to understand the why. And you just have to accept the what, you know, what is the situation? Your dad's not a good dad. He's not.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah. Or or roll your eyes and create some space. But like, you know, Natalie's position is this like when he says off putting things or I don't know, gives her a T-shirt for Christmas that that's really bizarre. She doesn't say, you know what? Fuck this guy. I don't want anything to do with him. It's just more like he is who he is. I don't know.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
He still calls from time to time and check in in his own way. You know, he is not like when shit hits the fan for her, he's not the guy she goes to. She, you know, she has me now. And when I'm, you know, if I'm not enough, she has her mom, she has people, you have people. And like, I think sometimes when we want, especially when it comes to parents, unfortunately, I didn't have to deal with this.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
but for, you know, it's like, you're still fighting that hope that your dad will be this person and you're, you have to let go of that hope.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And I think, you know, I think I would just be mindful of the, when you feel triggered and when you feel pain, not to try to punish your dad and not to use your kids as a way of punishing your dad, your kids are going to be okay. So convincing yourself that you have to protect your kids from grandpa, what I'm hearing is you're kind of using your kids to punish your dad.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And I just think that's causing you more hurt and pain than anything else.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Well, sorry, that definitely sucks. But I think you're thinking of this the right way. I think you're trying to do the right thing and lean on your husband, lean on your family, focus on what you do have, count your blessings. And when it comes to your dad, take what you can get.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
All right, take care. Thank you. All right, bye-bye.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
And was her response on that phone call... I'm thinking of like someone like I, you know, a friend or loved one or whatever. My girlfriend told me this story. I would. I would lose it. And so she was like, what was her response? She was just like, oh, that sucks. Like, what was she saying to you when you confronted her on that phone conversation?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
It's wild. Keeps your teeth clean and gets between those gums. Really important stuff. Now, the good news is if you're not absolutely obsessed with your Quip 360, you can return it for free within 30 days. Just for listeners of The Vile Files, get 20% off site-wide in a free travel case and countertop stand at getquip.com.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Like, what is that? Yeah. What are the right things?
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
But that's like that's like a reaction to someone who like called you the C word.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
like I would have thought that someone had been like, what, what should we do about that? How can I help you? How can I support you? Do you want to, do you want to call the authorities? Like, you know, again, I hope my asking you about the authorities, like, you know, again, whatever, but like, it's obviously, I don't know what it's like to be in your position.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Sadly, I know enough of women who have been in that position. What I've learned from those women is like the fear and the aloneness that they feel that, And the fear of people not believing him, the fear of retaliation, et cetera, et cetera. And so I would think that the people who knew about this would, I don't know, would empathize in a different way other than being like, that sucks.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Well, not that you needed that from her, but she's literally a witness to an event.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Yeah. And this man is like, you know. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Okay. So anyways, back to she reached out. Yes. Okay. And was like checking in and be like, why aren't we close? Yeah.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
Free your mouth today and save 20% site-wide plus a free travel case and countertop stand at GetQuip. That's Q-U-I-P dot com slash Nick. Yeah, one more time. GetQuip. Q-U-I-P dot com slash Nick. Maybe you had a little too much fun in your early 20s and went wild with some credit cards, or maybe you're ready to build your credit and don't know where to start.
The Viall Files
E877 Ask Nick - Married To The Mortgage
you're gonna split up the family and i'm like no no i'm not what was your response i mean if i were um i don't know if you're interested in what i would have responded with yeah go for it i would respond you invited my to your wedding i want nothing to do with you guys go fuck off
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
We're 15 and 14. Oh, I know they're right.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You're doing better today, though.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm surprised you're not just like wired, amped up.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Because I was, I mean, knowing that, I'm kind of surprised you were taking a nap.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, I don't think really OP had anything to do with this. No. They may feel like they did, but really it was already in motion. The wife clearly brought it up in this type of environment to start a war or honestly to commence the next battle in the ongoing war.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I guess. Cause she probably already went to her friends and was like, guess what? Dave asked me.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Did he just find out the sperm count thing after?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
The only thing I can think of is he saw something, read something online or in some other form, heard a story from someone else and was like, oh, when you have low sperm count and your wife gets pregnant, it must mean she's cheating. There's got to be some rhetoric that all of a sudden is starting to infiltrate his mind to have him jump to that question.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And I don't know what it's like being married for 16 years. I don't know how comfortable you get with someone, but I can't imagine you're comfortable enough That all of a sudden after two kids and now on the third, you're just going to be like, can we double check?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Right. And I wonder why. And that's why I wonder if it's like something he saw recently or is there something else he's spiraling about? Because there's also the reality that there could be marriage struggles at 16 years. And there could be some other things he's maybe catching on to potentially. I'm not choosing sides. I'm just curious. Because it seems very weird to jump from 0 to 100.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah, but honestly, I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
That's just spitting out of control.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. Well, and the other thing that's interesting about it is how OP is feeling like they caused it, that they caused additional turmoil in this relationship. But then you could say that about, you know, a lot of people comment about our relationship. And some people at live shows and the comments and all these things have told us, because of the podcast, because of you guys, I left my partner.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I realized we weren't right. That doesn't mean we're sitting here saying, causing all these breakups. We're just exposing things that people may not see themselves.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Which is what OP did in this sense. They said, like, here's the reality. She asked the question, I answered. There's no fault.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I know. Does it somehow feel like he's not accusing as much when you ask it that way versus just saying, are you cheating? Is it not my kid? I mean, it's the same thing, but maybe somehow it's like, oh, let's do a paternity test. Doesn't sound so attacking, but it is.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Hey, listen, they can choose to do however they want. And as long as they find a partner that's on board, you guys go to your thing.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I know, that was so common. That was so common for a while. I feel like they, didn't you say they kind of tightened that up?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, and how would you ever actually know, though? Because as long as there's a 0.1, 0.0001, there's still a number there. It's not zero. There's still a chance.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Someone wins the lottery. You know, it happens even though the odds are extremely low. So you never can be conclusive. I mean... You'll never know. I mean, I guess, you know, in the sense of a paternity test, there's no denying. But... I 100% agree, start with yourself and don't go for the accusation. But for someone who's already that paranoid, you'll never have a concrete yes.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Or unless you did it secretly, which people also have done. I think we've read things on that.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm sure that's happened. And I'm sure there's people who have done that and have never said a word, been happy and all buttoned up from there on out.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah, as do I. I don't think you're being an asshole at all because with any story that relates to giving birth, being pregnant.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Whoever it is that is pregnant and giving birth, all decisions are theirs and that's final.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I mean, it can be traumatic. It can be dangerous, life-threatening. There's a lot of shit going on.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, but you don't know it's going to go smooth until you're done. You know what I mean? So you're always ramping up. You never know what's going to happen. And the last thing you need is to be dealing with all this external stress from your partner's family.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Which, why also? What's the fascination?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Kind of like, you'll know. You'll know, bitch.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You'd know. I don't know why people pester people for things. I ask people too when it's like, hey, can you do that at this time? And I'm like, yes. And if I forget, please remind me. Please bug me until I do it. But there's also situations where we'll let you know. We'll update you. But now that you've shown, you go this nuts. And I don't get it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Because of the tone, like I'm still thinking about that initial thing, the reaction to them.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm trying to figure out why. And was that all because of her not being able to be involved how she wanted the first time and knowing she'd have to go through that again?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So she wants to be overly involved, like from the moment with this kid.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay. Because it's just kind of strange.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I get people being excited, right? Families get really excited. But I also know. That once you set that boundary, you know, I just can't imagine being a family member who would cross those lines to be just like, how does she not understand she's being too much?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Was that referencing the first pregnancy or this one? The first one, two years ago.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
See, but is it goodwill, right? I think we're finding out it's not. I think people can mask real intentions under the guise of things that are, you know, generally seen as goodwill.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Right. Because if you're going to the lengths to that for your own place, why not make sure they're set up first?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You know, and like you're saying, it could be. you could even do it earlier. Like you don't have to wait for the shower if you have good intention. But if you're going to go to the lengths to set up that at your own place, I mean, baby's not going to be at your place for a while. At least I would think.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Don't you keep the baby home for like a good amount of time? Before they venture out to, like, grandparents' house?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Because we've seen babies in public and you're like, that baby's way too young to be out here.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, it's not like a bikini at the beach.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You're taking off a freaking wedding dress.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Like, hey, John, I've just got to take off this dress real quick. Hang out for a second.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, the mom's taking full advantage of that for sure.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Especially with how crazy she is about the babies.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Oh, this home is not fit for the baby. I'm going to take the baby. I already have a perfectly fit room. Then you get into that kind of crazy stuff.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm still stuck on the wedding dress thing.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Or he's just that oblivious to his wife's wants and needs and actually being her partner. Because that's kind of where the pattern, that's the pattern here.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm just curious about their daily life now. I want to get into their, you know, who does the chores, who takes care of the kid, who does this and that.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It just makes you... You want to just know the whole situation.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I just, I'm still not even comfortable with it. I don't feel like... She's got to get more paranoid. I don't feel like he will... I don't think it'll work out that way. The two week thing. And I'm wondering if he even actually truly did that.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Because I don't trust him. I don't trust him now.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Hey, send her on a little vacation somewhere.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It came early, but we just want to, you know, we're not able to go right now, obviously. But we would love for you guys to go enjoy this. Guess what?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Gosh, that last one was like a three for one.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
I think the reality is cheating is something people work through or they don't. Cheating and getting someone pregnant, it's kind of like you're staring up at Mount Everest and at the top is a potential happy, perfect relationship for you guys in the end. I don't know if it's worth going to battle for that, but it comes down to you. But I think you're really thinking, I mean, it just happens.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
You're thinking out of emotion and probably not a ton of logic. So I'd let some time pass and, get through finals, and then really allow yourself the time to process before making any sort of decision.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
And to wait that long. Yeah. Like, You're thinking about it that whole time. Every single day. I mean, rather every single minute is a chance to come clean. But yeah.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Selfish. It's because he, I don't know, probably is just at a point where it's like, I can't. He's freaking out about his own sake and his own life. And so now it's like, I have to release this for my own sake. I mean, that's what it really feels like.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Well, it's unlikely that in between the cheating and the next time he was with her, he went and got tested and did everything. I mean, it's,
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Well, I've become surprised how grandparents are just, now that we are the age we are, are just down to talk about things. And you're like, oh, I thought this was so taboo.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
It's time to look forward. Put the blinders on. Pass is in the past.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
I mean, yeah, when you have the right partner, you build your lives around each other. Like you start to fit like a glove. Not that you're completely dependent on each other, but just that's how life works. And then, you know, we always say a lot that the past is no reason to stay with someone in a bad situation. But yes, you have to consider and realize that it's going to be
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
But we don't realize grandparents all- They're living life as well. Long time ago, they'd been doing all this.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
extremely difficult to move forward, but there are much better things ahead.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Oh my God. I'm ready to tag them in. I'll go sit over there.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
So the silent was getting it all. Silent was going crazy. Imagine that time.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Appreciate, appreciate. Okay. So, I think you did yourself the biggest favor you've ever done yourself in this relationship because you're exposing who your partner really is. And... Whatever with this action, whether it's right or wrong or whether you regret it, who cares? Because it just saved you so much time.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
And, you know, all of this, all of his actions, I feel like would have come out at some point. He is very immature. He's very controlling, somewhat bordering, you know, what could lead to abuse.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Well, this is, yes. And I'm saying it can get worse and worse. I think this exposed something and it is time to leave and leave all of this behind because this isn't a reaction from someone I would want as a partner in the long run. You didn't go out and cheat. That's ridiculous. This is not cheating.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
This is like... A mistake. Yeah. It's probably not the right time or place or whatever for that.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Yeah, it is. But it's just like... No, I know. I bet there's a little bit of regret. But regardless, it's not that big of a deal. And it just kept getting worse, like doing dishes and cleaning and go sleep in the spare room until a mature person who actually loves you and is your partner... would have not yelled and screamed. That was the first point I knew we were going downhill.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
If it were me and I was upset by it, right? Let's just say I would come upstairs and I'd say, hey, That was a little interesting. Like, why did you do that? Made me very uncomfortable. It made them uncomfortable. And now it's just kind of an awkward thing.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
But I would never in my life yell and scream and put all these provisions over this. It's ridiculous.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Mobile rig. The rig just like rolls in, has two chairs on it, two mics. It's got a ramp. Sit down, grandma.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
It's not that huge. It's crazy. Like, sitting there just... Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
The update better fit in the theme. I'll tell you right now.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
So my boyfriend shits in the shower. It will happen. And he stomps it down the drain. I think that's what we do. What do you guys think about that?
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Right. Because that's not on you necessarily to do, but that not only benefits your divorce proceedings, hopefully, but yeah, then it can be out there and you can help future potential victims.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
You'd be careful. You don't want to get their blood pressure too high.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
And I wonder if any of this was slipping through the cracks before this. I wonder if there was signs throughout, you know, it's hard to get the context in one Reddit post, but it just makes you wonder because there are very scary instances where all of a sudden relationship, perfect. One thing happens and it's just like boom.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Well, I don't think you should ever have that power over someone. You should never tell someone you can never do this again. If you're a supportive person, you'd say, might be smart to have one or two and then be good, you know, and just see how that goes. But never, you should never drink again. You should never do this again. That's not supportive. That's not a teammate.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
No, that depends. Do we lighten up now and then it just goes really downhill forever?
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Well, you know, what's the where's this coming from? Like, what's the point? Why is this bothering you?
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
And then I was like, wait, what was the... Spoon feeding the meal the whole time.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Would you rather them be like five feet apart in bed just both like watching the movie like this?
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Yeah, yeah, no, we'll get back to the regular brush first. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
No, and the statement means nothing. It's like, that's what you'd expect living, breathing humans to do. Well... Like, it's just weird.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
We know those people, though. Knock, knock. Door opens. Give me a second. Hey. Could have been way worse.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
There's so much you don't see. Are you there every day? And maybe he just loves to cook and he wants to do that. Is that forbidden for a man to do?
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Let your let him fly out of the nest. Not this helicopter buzzing around all the time.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Gross. Yeah, I mean, why can't the happiness of him being successful, having a happy relationship, living his life be enough?
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
You know, like a lot of people are just getting your kids to the age of 18 and not having them, you know, whatever. Like having them get there successfully. That's a feat in itself.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
I mean, regardless, even if we could prove right now that she never cooks and doesn't help, it's still his choice. He's making this choice to be with this person to the point where he's proposed. Let them live.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
This is why I love the coin. We're not coming to a decision. I'll tell you right now.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
100% you're the asshole. Are you kidding me? Did you ever make an attempt to say, hey, I'm working on this or I'm doing this? Right. There's got to be a way to approach it that's not, hey, shut your mouth just for one second so I can have a break. I mean, did it not occur to you that that would make you an asshole?
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Maybe because they've been together for so long. Sunk in cost fallacy.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
And that's normal communication. Yeah. Even with someone you haven't been dating for a mystery amount of time.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Am I talking too much? Yeah. Like, am I crossing that line or?
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
If it becomes a pattern, then yes. I mean, if this were to happen again, then come on, grow up.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Sorry, I think the fact that you're thinking that means there's not the comfortability in silence.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
One other thing is what if she's always been the same way and he's just tuning out and getting annoyed by anything. Yeah. So it's like nothing's changed, but you are just not interested in her anymore.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
For sure, because so many Reddit stories are written self-serving. Yeah. They're obviously going to. People asking if they're the asshole are going to try to portray themselves as not the asshole.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Except some don't. I don't think the mom knew. She had no clue.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
well it's like i don't know how much effect in the long run it would actually have on your child but if you want to set i'd be fucked up i'd be like grandma doesn't know my name yeah but you pick up nicknames like you get nicknames in middle school from and you don't choose them and it just happens and it's like imagine your parents went and hunted down everyone it's like you need to call them blah blah and just i don't know i get it because it's
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Again, with this one, I will say that I think you did yourself a favor. Yes. Because as great as a relationship can be, the context of that relationship is very important. And a lot of that context is who someone surrounds themselves with and the environment that you guys are in. It's just as important as timing. And we always say relationships are timing.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
But in this sense, yeah, you're drunk, whatever. But I think you made the decision to do this because... That's who you are. And you would not survive long-term in this environment that surrounds your relationship because it's already eating you alive. It hits close to home because it's hitting trauma that you've already been through.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
And so I think you made a great decision, drunk or not, to tell them and fix all this bullshit. Let these two women actually know what's happening in their lives so they can make a decision for themselves.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Yeah. For these guys, you're the biggest enemy, whatever, because you expose the secret, but you did technically what is just and what is right. And I think you moving on from this whole situation is going to be very freeing for you. Yeah. So, yeah, it's going to suck. Like we talked about earlier, moving on from something that you viewed as this is my forever. This is perfect.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
And I think the more you distance from it and the further you get away from it, you'll realize how imperfect it was. Because as great as this can be, if everything else around it is just a shit firestorm. It's not as great as it appears.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
And it's so direct to where it's being written on a card and on a gift. Where it's kind of like message not received. I'm going to keep doing this and I don't care. Then you got to start setting the boundary.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Yeah. Well, and regardless if he's actually cheated or not, you know, when he's with his friends, they're talking about it. Not him cheating, but they're talking about their cheating. Oh, my girlfriend. Oh, this and that. You know, he's like playing the game with them. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Right, right. So it gets to a place where think of like all of us, think of your closest friends.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
If someone did something like this, You know, it's not like if they cheat once and it's a big mistake, it's like, you're there for your friend. You don't condone it. You're not there being like, you were so great. You did everything perfectly. It's no, it's like, you fucked up, but I'll be here for you. We've been friends forever. It's the pattern, right?
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
And it's the continued pattern of supporting this and hiding it. And then she's sitting there looking at these other women across the table and they're probably smiling, having great time and excited about their lives. Yeah. And she's like, dude, I've I just went through this shit.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
It was a matter of time before you would have had to either just leave, which I hope if you were going to just leave, you would have told them. Right. Because screw it. But it was a matter of time before this happened. So it's not like you made this big mistake. It was inevitable.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Well, and something that shows you that your relationship is not perfect and great is the fact that you got pushed down into a corner so hard that you literally asked in this, how can I start making this up to him?
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
The dogs are always sick after grandma watches them. You know what I'm saying? Always.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
And we're going to use it so much, it's going to get added to the dictionary in 2025. Whoa.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Oh yeah, I'd have to have conversations with her at family gatherings, but it was, you know, when the dogs would physically stay with grandma. But I got to say, I turned out okay. And maybe I did get an extra couple of cookies, but I'm good. Okay. I enjoyed them.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
I think a good word more would be compromise because this feels more like a compromise to make your partner happy on something that's really not that big of a deal. Because I would say probably in the upper 90 percentile of adults pee in the shower. And I think if you, you know, I have some tips I would give. Tips? I think you need to pee at least in the first 25 to 30 percent of your shower.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Because then it subsequently gets, you know, it goes right down the drain with everything else. and anything left yeah unless his joy i the joy part is weird like you're peeing get over it a hot shower i love a hot shower okay the joy from the hot shower is not me peeing in the shower i don't know maybe that's just his thing but i just think are you the curtain and come on
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
No, my guy seems dehydrated. Okay, if it's that smelly, you're dehydrated. Come on now, drink some water. Everyone listening, drink some water right now. I guarantee you, most of us need it.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
It's kind of like when One Direction was like, we're taking an indefinite pause.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
I know. I'm still alive. I don't get cavities and something's working.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
okay hey can we sorry no can us three band together and say if anything goes down oh yeah i for sure want to do we have the location okay we will send you the location you bring your supplies we'll provide the location we have a clean water source oh my god yeah we will um we're doing it okay and i know how to farm oh my god that's perfect yeah yeah i have so much gear i have so much gear okay you got the gear good
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
i like that play yeah i like that play this isn't something big enough to bring in any sort of you know uh trust issues or anything like that it's not worth the risk of coming clean about an 11 year lie it's just not worth it to say hey i've been lying to you for 11 years I like that idea a lot more because it doesn't change anything. If then your conscience just can't handle it, then go for it.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Because then you're saying, oh, well, I've been making this for you forever and you could have just so easily told me, but then you, like the snowball went down the hill and turned into this giant thing. Is it, will it become a problem?
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
You know, every seven years, your whole, every cell in your body technically changes. So it's like, so do your tastes.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
I think I could go either way, and I think we'd be totally fine. But I just don't see a reason to invite any sort of potential for issue. Because there's 100% there's a reason that's the top comment with that many upvotes. There are 100% people out there that would be offended. Yeah. And think like, why didn't you tell me? I'm hurt.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Yeah, it's always the language of like, it keeps you hoping.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
You couldn't just trust. And so you've been keeping this. And I feel like it makes it worse that it's not even worth lying about. But you kept this stupid lie for this many years. And I feel like people could read into that and be like, ooh. This is weird. And our dynamics off.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Well, the double lie doesn't matter because you're not committing some crime. You're not cheating. You're not hurting somebody. And they'll never know.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Next time at our restaurant, so, are you going to get the chicken parm?
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Not all people would react that way. I'm not saying that's you. I'm just saying out there in general, I don't think everyone would laugh it off.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Yeah, we needed to experience the same joy as the shower pier.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Well, I'm kind of a person that the end of the year, like rolling into the next year, nothing changes for me. It's just life keeps moving. So I enact New Year's resolutions just at any random point in the year. And the thing that I've started recently is just asking. Whether that's on chat with a representative for whatever company you're trying to get something done with, just ask.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Oh, upgrade fee? Any chance you can remove that? Waive that? Oh, let me check.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
It's anything. Also, just ask for things that aren't necessarily like that. That's a good one. I'm having trouble coming up with examples. No, that's excellent.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
But just ask because you never know the answer. Walk up to someone you're interested in working for. Just ask.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
But then you just kind of know it's never going to happen again.
Two Hot Takes
197: Leaving it in 2024..
Yeah, it's really a relatively minor issue. But like if it bothers you that much, then get it sorted and stick to it.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
This is like the sequel to What's in the Box. It's just the flip.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
All of a sudden, I have a feeling to check all our floorboards at home.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Like, it's... Well, and if you knew ahead of time, why is it a problem now? And bring some goddamn cheese that's in your pocket.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Yeah, I mean, Linda's acting like she's sitting down in the reverse, okay? We're flipping it. Okay. She eats vegan and she's sitting down in a vegan restaurant enjoying her meal in a very safe space because it's all vegan food, okay? I walk in with a giant burger, double, triple stacked, juices everywhere. It's basically just raw meat, right? Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And I'm sitting right next to her just enjoying my burger that's clearly not from there. That I can see being very insensitive and also just being kind of be like, yeah, what the F is this shit? But when you flip it all, it's like it doesn't make any sense. She's acting like there is such injustice. And it's, oh, you're being so mischievous and you're trying to trick everybody.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Trick everybody into what? Into what? It's like you put laxatives in the cake and you just found out and everyone's going to go home and be on the toilet all night. I just don't, I don't get the reaction.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And where are you going to find the sign? Are you going to print one real quick? Cake is vegan. Everyone else would be like, duh.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's like you were desperately searching for something to be upset about. Anything. What can I be upset about? That's what it feels like. It was like she was looking for something. Yeah. I'm going to attack that cake and I'm going to try and ruin her night.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
That's fine. But at least they're coming up with half, you know, they half make sense with what they're saying. Not this completely just pulled out. I don't know. She's nuts.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
More than most people's whole entire wedding is what the tent is.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Just to rent the tent. To rent it. And not the inside stuff.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
No, this is... This is so dumb. I just hate it. Because you handled it perfectly from start to finish.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And I'm so over the shit about, oh, you should just let these people walk all over you for harmony's sake. What the fuck do you mean?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And he's choosing her over you. He's enabling. On your wedding day.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
No, but the problem with that game is she'll show up to yours, be all happy and whatever. And then by the time she ends up getting married, it's going to be a huge problem. It's just- Oh, it'd just be so funny though. It'd be so satisfying. There's no other way to play this than the way she did. It's the most professional. It's the most clear.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's every part about it was exactly how we would say to do it.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
You're just dealing with someone who is impossible. I would just be waiting for the day that my brother realized- what this, just look at what is in front of you. You know, and I, listen, I've learned that in life, you just kind of control your deal. You watch everyone else around you go through their stories and their lives. You don't control anybody.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
You just kind of watch what they do, offer advice here and there. You know, maybe pull someone out of the way of a bus that's about to hit them, you know, metaphorically. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
But you can't really get involved and say, hey, brother, I think she's horrible for you. And you're going to end up in a miserable bowl. You can't play that because you'll end up being the one that's ostracized. And so it sucks. But I think you played everything perfectly. You're definitely not a bridezilla.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
You're far from it. I am shocked that your family is split and divided on this because it couldn't be more clear what is right and what is wrong.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
yeah i mean are people swooping in and like the brother's defense why why are we split golden child why are we split and if you are split on this then you go off on an island with those two and you know what maybe we'll figure out if this can all we can repair this at some point but i just can't deal maybe we can reconvene and compare notes I'm going on my honeymoon.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And as far as all you people that are saying I'm in the wrong, I'm on an extended honeymoon. I'm on a long ass honeymoon until you can come around to your senses.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Unless brother comes around at some point and really- Apologizes. And is like, listen, you know, blah, blah, blah. I got the best of me and this and that. Other than that, I'm not interested right now. Because it was so easy for you to walk away on some bullshit ass shit about a white dress. Come on.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
When we do say, you know, have your partners back, you're a team. But not when it, this is not when it pulls you away from shit like this.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
You know what we need? We need a scoreboard up here. One side, traditional wedding. Other side, elope. And then we keep score.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I don't foresee anyone like that showing up and being like adamant even after they've been clear about I'm wearing white. We're like, no, you're not going to get let in. They still show up. I really don't foresee that.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Well, you are definitely not the asshole. I can't even believe that's a question. But no, it wasn't over a word. Thank God this person revealed who they truly are before we got any further. That's my first thought when any of these stories happen.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Thank God it happened now and not a second later. It has nothing. This whole story has nothing to do with Chad. Nothing. This whole story has everything to do with someone revealing their true self to you and doing it in a way where it's irrefutable. Okay. You said one sentence. You claim one word. And based off of that, I can paint a whole picture. It is, I mean, it made it so clear.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's not a, oh, well, I could be, you know, manipulated into thinking that blah, blah, blah. There's no talking away out of this. It makes it so clear and obvious. And I'm just glad it happened now. Like, yes, we can talk about how terrible it all is. But for OP, this is the best thing that could have happened.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I don't know. It feels like it just came out of nowhere. It feels like something happened where Karen has changed.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Not a bad strategy to lead with. All right, we're going to get married. We're going to have a big wedding. Well, a small, whatever, whatever size wedding. Doesn't matter. We're going to get married. We're going to have the ceremony, do the reception. We're going to do the whole thing. Everyone's going to be there, whatever. Because...
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
it exposes so much, not only between the couple themselves, but between the girlfriend of your brother, of a different family member, of your aunt.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It exposes so much, although those came out really on the wedding day. At the wedding. So I'm thinking, what if you, and it reminds me of when it's fourth down and the quarterback goes out and they try to go, And they try to get the team to jump. Oh, yeah. Even though they have no intention of ever actually spiking the ball.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
There's no intention of even starting that play ever. It's just to try and get them.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
So why don't we go down the path of... Let's get married. We're... God damn it, we're getting married. We're having a big wedding. And then, all of a sudden, you know what? We changed our minds. We're actually going to save our money and elope. But we've exposed all the craziness.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
it's about the couple no it's about the couple it's what the couple wants i know so that's a win you just can't have that's a win for the hybrid flights we have weddings we have eloping in the middle it's a hybrid like a hybrid vehicle yeah the trickery the trick you can use some gas but you can also use some electric yeah yeah they're probably none of that made any sense but
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Yes. Well, at the core of it, it's truly loving someone and respecting just people for who they are. We're all just out here trying to figure out what this is. We're all as, like, humans, we call ourselves, walking around on this planet in the middle of nowhere.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Our biggest enemy is probably out there somewhere. It's not ourselves.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And so it's just, like, people are so small-minded when it's just, like, look up and realize... Well...
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
But at the core of it, it's just really love people for who they are, especially if they're close. You know, what OP said, they're your partner's favorite person. They grew up – like, it's almost inconceivable to say –
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
no they're not gonna i don't want them at our wedding like are you even connected as a team because i mean it could be anything it could be race religion gender i mean anything you can name that people attack about each other oh my god at the core of it it's really about just respect who people are and let them live their lives
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Wow. Okay. Well, I get that we had a time crunch based on the next wedding that they were obliged to. As the couple getting married... I think you have all power over anything to do with that night. If you want to, I don't know, flip, this is weird, but flip the reception and the ceremony.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And then also, I guess if you're going to get married, do you really love your partner?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Because your partner is not just themselves. Your partner is their circumstances, their family. It's where they come from. It's their friends. Your partner is a whole group. It's not just them. You don't marry. Well, you physically marry one person, but you're entering a life not in with just them, but with a whole set.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's harder to not, it's harder to always be fighting and causing all this shit.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
100%. That's another big piece to all these is going into marriage, you have to consider the future. Because if you guys want kids, well, now you really got to look at the bigger picture about who's in these villages. Because that plays a big role. As soon as kids come, it's a little late to start having those battles. And if you do, then you're looking at a really complicated situation.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
So eloping is still on the table, but don't do it just, hey, you know what? I know we met three weeks ago, but I think we go over here and we get a same day marriage real quick. Like, no.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Eh, just push another year. It's already been a couple. What's one more? Why? Where have I adopted this accent all of a sudden?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
You could theoretically do that. You can kind of do whatever you want and mess with times and do whatever. So I really am wanting more context as to is this a pattern that she has dealt with forever with her mom where I can't count on her to get anywhere on time. I tell her – I've started to try and tell her the time is 10 a.m. when it's really noon. Somehow she's still late.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I feel like that must be a common experience. It has to be. I know people are like, die hard. Yes, we're going to have a wedding. But even though you know you're still going to have it, you have to hit that moment where you're like,
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Does anyone have an annulment document here that I can fill out?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Is this kind of something where... I need more info on the mom-daughter relationship here because it seems that it would not be...
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I mean, at that point, I don't even know if we define it as a boundary. We start defining it as like a, you know, 30 mile thick concrete wall. Not long, thick, thick wall.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Weddings are the culmination of just years and years and years. And honestly, generations of certain issues or certain blah, blah, blah, or this or that, it all comes to a head with a wedding because these people, right? If you think about holiday gatherings or birthdays,
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
You often find as you get older, you start having to go to multiple different ones because people split up or there's drama or there's whatever. But guess what? That's not possible on a wedding day. Everyone has to come together to one event. They cannot avoid each other anymore. And it's good to put in place like, hey, maybe have wedding security, have your coordinator involved.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
You can keep certain people separate. Definitely use a seating chart. I don't know where that whole thing came from.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
really that difficult or you know that out of the question to reach out and say hey where are you you know it's 10 minutes to two do you think you guys are going to get here so there's something happening that we don't know and i just i don't know it feels weird to not hold it at least for a second get in touch and if they're like yeah i'm still not ready and you're really pushing it
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
But you make it very calculated so that you can pull this day off and hope, just have a little bit of hope that people will realize what they're there for and who they're there for.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's very often forgotten what weddings are about and who they are for.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Here's the thing. I think weddings overall, in my experience, are a huge, I think gamble's the wrong word, but it's a huge risk reward, okay? A wedding can be, and I've heard people audibly say this, can be the best day of your life.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Right. It can be. It's possible. Yeah. But at the risk of all of these dynamics, everything you're bringing in and that comes together for that day is wrong.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
you know, I think unfortunately for the vast majority, risky in the sense that not like, oh, the flowers weren't perfect or the buns didn't show up on time, but more for the risk of things going wrong between people and dynamics and that ruining your day. I think that's so present and so common that Yeah. If you want a wedding, 100% go for it.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And I hope at the end of the day, you're saying that was the best day of my life, but you got to understand there are certain risks and you got to do everything you can to mitigate. Like we were just talking about the security or having the wedding coordinator involved to say, Hey, if this girl shows up in the white dress, she can't come in. Like those were very smart, calculated moves.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Exactly. Right. At that point, she's shown her intentions. She does not believe in this. She's clearly trying to sabotage. Yeah. And, you know, I never really, as we were going through this, thought of Margo as a threat.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I pictured just some, you know, yeah, she was controlling. She had all these things.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's the best move because then you can guarantee, and it had happened, you can guarantee that you'll go forward without worry, without stress, and enjoy the rest of your wedding day.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
From what I've experienced, I think people are either in one or two categories. Like, oh yeah, we're just eloping. That's just who we are. Then you have others that are like, nope, we're 100% doing the full wedding. And then maybe there's some like us on the fence, but It's really choose your own adventure and just deal with what comes.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
But don't get pushed into one of those categories because of other people. Make it the choice that you want. But man, like with this last one, crazy thing to go through, but a hell of a story to tell the rest of your life. guess what happened at our wedding? And then you can say, my mom showed up with my ex and said this. Like, you can't make that up.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Like you can tell, that's what I think about some of the worst things you can experience in life is the stories you can tell.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Is how I met your mother like in the forefront again? Is it like in the prime time?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I'm sitting here like ready to hear the advice. I don't... I think...
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Well, this is certainly not the... You know, just tell them, confess your feelings type of situation we usually talk about on these shows. And again, it's the wedding. It's the, which is so interesting because it's always perceived as like, oh, you're going to lock them down. Like once you're married, you're locked in forever, which is totally just not the reality these days.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's, you know, it, it's, it's not, it's, it's not as easy as like a breakup, but it's, it's, it's the same.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Right. But it's just interesting how that sense of commitment brings out these, like these last ditch moments. You know, it forces people to really do something that they never thought they would or confess things that they never. So.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Because I think they think it's never going to ever be a reality.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And then something about, you know, we talk about ring clarity and that kind of thing.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Something about it pushes them to the limit where they get, they almost ignore intuition and they just do. They don't even think. The problem with this, and it just is so sad for her because, you know, we started this with, I've always wanted an older brother. I've always been envious of people with that. And I thought I'd finally found that and I had this awesome friend.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And then he meets someone amazing and we become very close. Like it's the perfect relationship. it's like the, just what everyone hopes for.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Well, and it could be like, if it had stayed that dynamic, like if he didn't have these feelings, we're looking at such a fun runway for life.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
You in no way would do that without your mom and grandma there. There's no chance that that would possibly even happen.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Yeah, it's just it sucks that it felt that it had to come to a point on this day. Miss the bride. Be late to the bridal shower. Be late to anything else. Be late to my birthday party. I know where I can make us, you know, make a point. But it really sucks that I had to do this because, yeah, you do have.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Otherwise, they'll perpetuate for 10 years down the line until they ruin your marriage.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
But at the end of the day... As like have to, as in like, well, this is the next step. This is what people do. This is...
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
the ultimate power on your wedding day but also there were certain constraints in place there were where and also you can't have all your people show up and hey guys we're gonna have you sit here for 50 minutes and then we'll start you know i mean it it gets to a point where it's like you have to move on my hands are tied so overall vote on this one what do you think it is Not the asshole.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
See, that's all wonderful, right? That's great. But for me, that still doesn't satisfy the, oh, I'm going to confess my love to my brother's wife. It is weird. We get there a little. We do get there a little. Oh, I thought you were done.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
That's great progress. Great things to work on for yourself. None of which satisfies what happened. None of which, and I don't think you ever could justify what happened. You're going to therapy and yes, you're processing your parents' divorce and whatever other dynamics have led you to this point. But the reality is things are forever different.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And if I'm in that dynamic, I mean, essentially you're going to therapy to try and And it would be like going through a breakup, essentially. It's like, I imagine it feels like heartbreak when you come to this movie-like moment, confessing your love, no matter what the circumstance was. And you still do that. And now you're working through this breakup again.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Do you think in doing all of that and loving your fiance as much as you do, you can ever really lose those feelings? Is that possible? Because I know at this point, it's very clear. You will never have her. It's not a reality. But you still had those feelings until the point they were strong enough to where you confessed as your soon-to-be wife is wedding dress shopping to your brother's wife.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Yeah, no, it makes sense. And I'm not super... I just went on a soapbox.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's not confusing how he got to this. Yeah. What's more confusing is how we're moving forward as the four of us. And even him and his fiance. I feel like if... I mean, power to them. If they work it out and they can get to a healthy spot, that's incredible. For me... As the fiance in that position,
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
it's going to be hard to truly know my partner has worked through those feelings, does not have those feelings, truly loves me. And anytime then the four of us are together, that I don't have to always be like looking over at him to see that if he's looking at her and always trying to suss out that dynamic, because I lived that with my ex and I knew something was going on.
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Turns out I was fucking right. Um, And it blew up my whole world. And I think I'm so sensitive to that, that in this situation, for me, I don't know if it'd be possible.
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And I do hope that is genuinely coming across that way because of how that's how she is and not because she's clinging on to pre this happening and pretending everything's fine. Like, no, no, we'll work through it. We're still going to have our wedding. I would love for you still be like, I hope it's not out of the panic and shock of what's just hit her world.
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And that. She is in that place. But even either way, like you just said.
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People find their people. And that's just one of the fun aspects of life. It is. Working through that, you go through some crazy shit. Like I said earlier, you have some good stories to tell. But, you know, you always keep searching until you find that person because it really, you know.
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It is interesting. It is pretty obvious when a parent of, you know, one of the, the partners is not there. Yeah. Like in the wedding, I was just in my friend, Mike, if his dad wasn't around, we would have all been like, well, cause his dad's also named Mike. We'd also been like, where's Mike? We got to go find Mike right now. We, you know, we would have all been on it like a mission.
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Because of the showerhead thing? What's the difference in time here? Is it pretty quick turnaround? It feels like it. Because it seems like we're just about to go on our honeymoon, so this just happened at the wedding.
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But it's recent, right? Like, we're not talking, oh, this is five years later.
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you know honestly this one and maybe it's because it's you know of all the other stories we just went through this one to me just feels like a little speed bump like it's this lady though i got issues with her still baby speed bump or not i know i got issues i'm just like i'm coming off the high of all the other stories or the low i don't whatever you want to call it and i'm like okay this isn't so bad don't don't sweat the small stuff
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So are we comparing really this picture frame to the shower head thing? No, no, no.
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I think, yeah, kind of. I think it's, I don't, birthdays, I think, extend to people that you kind of loosely know.
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And like, if you know it's someone's birthday and you've had contact with them in the past, sure, happy birthday. But anniversary. Oh my God, am I doing it wrong? I think anniversary is a little bit closer. Like your parents. Okay. Maybe your closest friends. Things like that. People who you actually know their anniversary.
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I mean, it's kind of to each their own. It's kind of like a, hey, ask for it. And if you get some, cool. you always say, get the bag, get your bag.
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So yeah, you just, I don't know. I'm so curious of the dynamic.
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I mean, the difference here is you could throw the anniversary party and just invite people. If people bring gifts and feel it's necessary or feel that they would like to give you a gift, then that's great. But saying like, okay, um, you're invited. We're only want cash.
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The showerhead thing is still like, the showerhead is so random.
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That's like getting someone a, I don't know. I can't even think of something. What's something that random?
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I agree, but also then, what is our dynamic with these people?
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That's what I'm saying. Why are you stepping up and being like, I'll design the invitations, I'll do all this. Have we...
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come I mean like have we healed from this is the dynamic fine because it seems like if we're on like this family friend we're like on this fighting petty thing just let him go then why are we helping so much with this and now that you've helped so much yeah you've kind of already given the gift of you know of helping
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Helping someone design their invitations and do all this, that could kind of be your gift. I know. So it's like to bring something additionally. But at this point, if you're that involved with them and that close, if you're on a joking playing field, aha, remember you got me that showerhead? Hey, I got you something just as nice for your little thing.
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If you're on that playing field, but otherwise... I don't see the point in being super petty and getting something irrelevant. I don't know.
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That's why the dynamic's so weird. I don't get what's happening here.
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It's just so unbelievably random. It's actually hilarious.
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I don't know. Showerheads, it depends on the kind, like what I said at the beginning. I know.
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Well, all I can say is you're choosing your path and you're choosing your battles. What are we going to say about it?
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No. I mean, honestly, you've got to learn to set your own boundaries and do that on your own, so... I mean, you can make as many suggestions as you want to somebody, but until they actually, you know, make the move to do something about it.
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See, that just doesn't happen out of the blue. This has been building up.
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Honestly, next step is going to sleep. I might sleep right in this chair.
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Yes, personal story, but there's no universal answer here. It's whatever fits you.
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It just sucks. The whole thing sucks. Nobody wants to be in that position with a parent. I mean, just, I don't know, it makes you sad.
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What happened to Linda? Did Linda fall on the dance floor and hit her head?
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From what I hear, we heard reasons one, two, and three. I have a number four.
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We clearly told everyone, here's exactly what we're serving and it's all vegan because we are vegan and it's our wedding. And why would we have anything at our wedding that we cannot eat?
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Right, exactly. That's why she hit her head on the dance floor.
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I mean, I don't see how that is offensive because vegan is very safe. I don't know anyone who can't eat something vegan, but I do know people who can't have dairy, don't eat certain meats or whatever, can't eat fish. Who knows what it is? I could see how the problem would be flipped like, oh, it was supposed to be dairy free or supposed to be meat free.
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And it was filled with X, Y, Z because I can't eat that. No, all of a sudden we're offended because the sky is blue and I'm not the one being married. I don't know what the issue is. What's the real problem? Because it certainly ain't the cake. And then and then also now newly husband. What do you mean? Keep the peace.
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Hi friends. Sending so much love to everyone here in Los Angeles affected by these fires. We are okay right now keeping an eye on things and have the horse van ready to take the ponies and evacuate if we need it. But really thinking of everyone affected, you know, there's so many people losing their homes and everything they have.
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Yeah. I said that I offered couples counseling many times throughout our relationship when I felt at my lowest and broken down. And he would always tell me that couples counseling is a waste of time and he'd rather just break up. Oh my gosh, he... sucks. I said that I've always accused him of not taking me seriously throughout the relationship, and this whole breakup just confirms that for me.
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I said it shouldn't take a breakup for him to want to do these things. He should have just done it to make me happy. I know it sounds kind of mean to say, but I honestly really felt some sort of inner peace knowing that our whole relationship, every time I've accused him of not taking me seriously, disrespecting me, making me sad, saying mean things to me,
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I'm going to read the first story and then the rest of them today are going to be bounced between Lauren and Justin, my amazing co-host over here. Okay.
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I was finally getting justice for all of these things now and sticking up for myself when I should have years ago. He always used to make fun of guys who beg for their girlfriends after they break up and he'd say how stupid they were and call any guy who's overly nice to his girlfriend a simp. Oh, he's awful. He's so awful.
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Then here he is crying and begging for me to stay with him and suddenly regretting the lack of affection and niceness throughout the years. Good, good, good, good, good, good. This is so satisfying. He begged me to consider this breakup to just be a break so that we could get back together after. I said no.
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And lastly, I reminded him that anytime I've ever asked him about a break, he says he'd rather just break up with me. All of these manipulated tactics, the gaslighting, the personal attacks, they all came back to bite him in the ass last night. And I honestly loved all of it.
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I love knowing that I was truly sticking up for myself and removing myself from such a horribly toxic and unhealthy situation. I told him he should get personal counseling and work on himself. He's still staying here for the meantime. I didn't want to add insult to injury and kick him out with nowhere to go. We have two bedrooms. His mom. He ran to his mom the last time, like, stay there.
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We have two bedrooms, so we're both just kind of going to have to hang out in our own spaces until we can figure something out. I said that while he's staying here, things are going to be completely different for us. We're essentially roommates. We're not going to talk unless it's necessary. No hanging out, no anything.
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I'm going to look at apartments and probably just move out on my own in the next couple of weeks. He is still basically in a mix of shock and denial and keeps telling me he'll prove it to me, but I'm standing firm. Good. He had the audacity to ask if we can still have sex.
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Who raised you? LOL. No. Oh my gosh. Well, guys, there are a few updates in between, but I want to get to the very last update, which came 299 days after the original post. If you want to read the others, the link will be in the description. Aww. Aww. Aww. Aww. I had no idea that the guy I was with since I was 16 was holding me back far more than I ever could imagine.
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The small little comments, the name calling, not letting me have boundaries, not respecting me. I built up an immunity to all of it and assumed it was normal. This is what I want to say to every single person who is staying with their significant other because it's what they've always known. It is not worth it. Don't do it. You deserve so much better. Your future self deserves so much better.
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You get one single life to live and you want to live it like this? For my entire relationship, I convinced myself that it isn't that bad and it could be worse. And he's a great guy, but he just has his moments as if I deserve that. I thought because he wasn't physically abusive, just mentally, that it was somewhat okay.
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I kept looking back at how we argued and thought, you know, I probably provoked him or I'm just difficult to deal with. as if that would even be a reason for him to act that way. I posted my first post on a whim, not even expecting to get much feedback. I read every single comment. I cried so hard because everything just related to me and made so much sense.
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I will give it my best. It's going to be really, really good. And, you know, new year, a lot of big changes for us and our lives. We are officially getting into wedding planning mode. Lauren's got some exciting new stuff happening in her life. People are going to be like, is she engaged? Is she pregnant?
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I felt like an idiot for staying as long as I had. I finally stopped hiding all of the things he would do or say and told my friends and family. I actually was keeping a note in my phone of all of the incidents and just sent it directly to my two best friends. They cried because they had no idea the things he would do slash say. After breaking up with him, I felt instant relief.
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It has truly been the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. I had to eventually block him once I moved out because he wouldn't stop contacting me. But it has been pure bliss. Some things I've done since ending the relationship.
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met an amazing guy who treats me beyond perfect, got a promotion, started exercising regularly, started going to therapy regularly, learned how to cook, started conquering my biggest fears one by one, got over my fear of planes by learning to fly one, decided to move out of state next year, I'm about to graduate, I'm looking for a bigger and better job, My new relationship is so beyond healthy.
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I've never had such healthy communication in my life. I feel so respected, so listened to, so appreciated, so loved. We are on the same page in every single instance. This is the exact type of relationship I've been needing for the last seven years. I, for some reason, just never thought I'd be capable of finding someone else to put up with me.
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And now I have someone who makes an effort to let me know how effortless it actually is to love me. If I would have stayed in my last relationship, I would have destined myself to stay in this rundown city with a person who doesn't give a shit about me and my mental health would be on a steady decline. I'm so happy for her. There's a little TLDR here. Don't settle. Seriously, do not settle.
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I'm so serious. Please listen to me. Do not settle. This is your sign. I'm speaking directly to you. Stop what you're doing and ask yourself if you deserve this.
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You're going to have people thinking she's actually pregnant. But so, so much good, exciting things in life. And so this episode is all about new beginnings. It can be really easy, I think, to stay in situations in life that are comfortable or, you know, you're just not able to leave or whatever.
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It can. And it can sneak up on you sometimes too without even realizing it. It's like they've been together seven years and she's grown and he hasn't. And I think there's so many little things that kind of like you said, Lauren, like you can ask yourself, like, are we matching up? Are our styles and this, this the same? Are we driven and, you know, working towards the same goals?
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And you saw it in little things too, like a vacation or even dates. Together seven years. And he didn't plan one date. And she was putting in all of this effort for dates or vacations or whatever. And he would complain or find a reason to get upset. One of the reasons being there's pickles on my burger.
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Either pick them off or if you're that averse to them, send it back to the kitchen and ask, hey, can, you know, I said no pickles. Can you please redo it? I have a phobia, whatever it is. Like, you're an adult. Grow the fuck up. Like, You have to take control of your life. And I'm so glad that the little holes were poked and she saw the light because look at what she did. In that amount of time.
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In that amount of time. Yeah. 299 days. Yeah. That's not even a year. Yeah. Met an amazing guy, promotion, learned how to fly a fucking plane. In less than a year, her life did a complete 360. 180. 360 would be like she's back at the same place. Bad at math. Bad at... What the... I went like this too, didn't I? I'm like, that's only 180. My hand signal here. I look like I'm directing air traffic.
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But I'm just like, I'm so happy and excited for her. And I think this is what life should be. It should be full. It should be exciting. It should be this. And I love the message. Beautiful. I do just want to say, as a cautionary tale... If you are considering leaving a relationship that is unhealthy, I do think there are some instances where you just need to prepare in secret and go.
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I don't think every relationship ends like this where you can confront the person. So I do just want to point that out to people out there. If you have someone who you feel is unsafe to confront face-to-face and break up, please just leave.
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I saw a horrendous story today about a woman who was posting on TikTok about, you know, leaving her ex and he was so terrible to her. And she's shocked at how amicable. He's being so nice. He's giving me everything I asked for. Like, this was never him when we were together. He was terrible. And he ended up killing her. So I just think life is too short to risk it. You don't need the closure.
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Like, just move forward and be happy. So evaluate your situation, whatever it may be.
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Absolutely. So please, please be safe out there, be happy and make sure you are in the best relationship for yourself and this new exciting year we're heading into. But okay, moving along. Are we ready, team? Yes. Okay. How are you doing? Are you still passing the torch? Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm passing. One of this week's partners is Smalls.
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I miss having a cat so much, but what I don't miss are those hairballs. My old cat's sweetheart was constantly throwing up, and I really do think if I would have had a food like Smalls, that would not have been an issue for her. Smalls Cat Food is protein-packed recipes made with preservative-free ingredients.
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These are ingredients you would find in your fridge, and it's delivered right to your door. After switching to Smalls, 88% of cat owners reported overall health improvements in their cats. That's a big deal. I give my little neighbor cat Junior Smalls as a little treat here and there, and he comes running whenever our cars pull up. He loves Smalls.
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So if you have a cat who's a picky eater or maybe having some digestive issues, give Smalls a try. What are you waiting for? Give your cat the food they deserve. Head to Smalls.com and use promo code THT at checkout for 50% off your first order, plus free shipping. That's the best offer you'll find, but you have to use our code THT for 50% off your first order. One last time.
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That's promo code THT for 50% off your first order. Plus free shipping. Thanks, Smalls. Okay, Justin. This next one is you. Uh-oh.
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I talk about it at the end of the episode, but we really wanted to kick off this new year by doing kind of like an angel tree, but in January. So Please, if you or someone you love has been affected by these fires in LA, please go to the link in our description and fill that out.
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I love when people are working. I had a lawyer next to me reviewing contracts and stuff. And I was like, this is so fun. This is what it would be like to be a lawyer.
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That's what being in a relationship is, though. Oh, my God. Getting to the part where you're comfortable enough to go to eat and sit there and enjoy a nice meal and people watch. Yeah. Because there is nothing better than getting some juicy tea from strangers. That doesn't affect you.
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The story is also so crazy to me, too, because it feels like two ships passing in the night. They're always just missing each other. And I know he is now married. He has kids. Their lives are two different paths, both probably very happy. But I think that...
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At the root of this, it feels like if you are ever in a situation where you can tell someone you love them, just tell them, especially before it's like messy. Did anyone else ever see that movie with Lily Reinhart? Yes. Look both ways. Look both ways. Yeah. That movie was like mental gymnastics for me. Oh my God. It was so good though. It was really good.
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And it kind of feels like that where it's like you get a glimpse at like this path.
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But I do. Oh, you go ahead. Because I was just going to say, I think she does need to tell him. Yeah.
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I was going to say, like anyone that would be threatened by a kid he had accidentally way before you and didn't know about, you would be absolutely goofy for being upset about that. Yes. I think you can be upset, but... Not... But, like, not... Can you be surprised? Yeah. Yeah. But upset in a way where it's like, fuck you. I'm mad at you. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah. Right. He had no idea.
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He had no idea. It was way before he knew you. It wasn't, like, an affair. Right. Out of wedlock, baby, bad situation. Like...
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Yeah. And I don't I don't think there's still any feelings. It seems like they're both very happy and moved on. And now this is just kind of coming up because of what sounds like an open adoption and her having a relationship with, you know, her son. But yeah. Yeah.
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Okay, up first. This is titled, I need someone to please convince me, 23 female, to leave my boyfriend, 25 male, of seven years.
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That comment does give... A little still in love with you. A little unresolved feelings. Or like he's probably happy, but deep down is like, I wonder what if? What if? And so to have that door so shut, but then like, oh, well, there's a piece of us out there. I don't know. It's cute. I'm sure he meant it in just such a nice, happy, loving, positive way. But it is kind of a hold up.
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Damn. I do like it though because this is like such a life changing big discovery and their family could feel like it's getting blown up. And so I do appreciate that effort to like, I'm hopping on a flight. Yeah. I'm going to just kind of Talk this all out in person. Show pictures. Because texting doesn't work. Stuff gets misconstrued. FaceTime's hard. There's always, you know, that delay.
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My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years this December, and I'm just starting to realize how bad our relationship really is. Throughout our whole relationship, I've known that it isn't the best, but I was just glad to have someone I could turn to when I needed it. And we really have a lot of great times.
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Yeah, and it's so much better with all the DNA tests out there nowadays. I think it's so much better to find out.
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from actual firsthand knowledge and people coming to you and telling you versus oh i did a dna test and turns out i have five siblings yeah like yeah that's a shock i think if i was adopted i would be so curious like oh my god i want to know everything yeah i know some people are like they don't want to know i think i would be like i would want to know yeah
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Recently, after starting a new position where I'm surrounded primarily by men my entire day, I realized how different my boyfriend is compared to the other guys. The other guys I see are so goal-oriented, similar to me. They take on responsibility, aim to be the best at what they do, constantly want to improve themselves, and are just really well-mannered. Oh, wow.
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Like what? How is this happening? I know. Well, I'm also finding this crazy because like, this is the closest thing she has to a mom. And you haven't met the wife. Like you're,
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I'm like, this is crazy. But yeah, why is the other family being like that kid that you've been raising is this lady's?
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I've never heard of that. I just got it. Because I've been using the Vicks shower tablets. Yeah. Trying to steam up my whole shower. You can put a little Vicks vapor tab in the back. That is so cool. And then you just literally. Oh my God. It's incredible. It's the only thing that provides me relief right now.
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Sounds like an interesting new beginning to me. I don't know. Overall, I'm so happy that our writer, our listener out there came clean and told him. I think it's interesting W's like, no, you guys don't need to meet your son together. Because I do think if he already has a relationship with her, it would be more comfortable. So I think
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There might be a little insecurity from W there, but overall, it sounds like a great new beginning. And I'm so happy to hear like everyone is in such a good place in their life, their family, husband, partner, everything. So moving forward, it's all good.
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Yeah, that makes more sense. But like, again, why hasn't he even clarified like, oh, little kid's mom is... That is strange. But if it's, you know, because of his history with maybe addiction and mental health, maybe... maybe that situation is not good and he'd rather let people assume than talk about what actually happened. So...
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I am always the one who plans our dinners, which he doesn't like to go out anyways and complains the whole time. Our vacations, our fun little outings, mostly are ruined by his bad attitude. I find myself emotionally and mentally drained after going out to places like that with him because he can just so easily turn things into such a sour evening over something so small.
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Yeah. I think, you know, I think open adoption is something that's really, really a cool thing. I think closed adoptions.
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Yeah. So there's closed adoptions or open adoptions. So closed adoptions are like you literally pass the baby off at the hospital and then there's no contact past that. Open adoption varies family by family and what everyone, you know, what they want and what they do.
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But a lot of the stories I've seen lately on open adoptions are so cool where the birth parent will remain in contact with the family very close. So close that they'll even celebrate holidays together or do family trips once a year together. And I just think it's a beautiful way to like...
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really instill like a sense of identity in this kid because like from my friend that you know we've talked about on this show before that was such a struggle for her and her adoption and never really getting to know her birth mom yeah so I just think it's it's really cool that this story is played out in the way it has and yeah it's really just such an exciting new beginning
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Yeah, it's definitely not easy. Not easy. But the stories I've seen, it makes it like really just more meaningful and more like more child centered, I would say. So it's really cool. But again, it's not for everyone and everyone does what what they got to do. Yeah. But OK, moving along. One of this week's partners is Lumi. New year, new me, but still forgetting deodorant.
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Or, well, not forgetting, but having my luggage lost. And guess where my deodorant was packed? In my suitcase. But you know what I had? My travel size Lumi. So I was still able to go on my trip and be smelling fresh and be protected for up to 72 hours. As you guys may know, Lume was created by an OBGYN, so it's safe to use everywhere. It's baking soda-free and paraben-free, and it's pH balanced.
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And Lume's starter pack is perfect for new customers. Comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice, like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get 15% off all Lumi products with our exclusive code.
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And if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starter pack, that equals over 40% off their starter pack. Use code THT for 15% off your first purchase at lumideodorant.com. That's code THT at L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Smell fresher, stay drier, and boost your confidence from head to toe with Lume.
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Examples, not getting a good score in bowling, getting pickles on his burger, heavy traffic, etc.
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And usually he either wants to just go home or complains the rest of the night or pouts. He doesn't have any goals. And anytime I ask him of his plans, he gets super defensive and shuts me down immediately. When we get into arguments, he can sometimes escalate to name calling on some rare occasions. Examples, bitch, asshole, nasty pig, dick, bitch.
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What a really good dad. Yeah. I mean, just looking at this from every angle he possibly can. So much empathy, so much love, so much consideration, and just the biggest heart. I mean, like... I know with a lot of places, and it sounds like they're in the UK, but if you're a foster parent, you get a stipend. And so maybe that would help cover things. Maybe he doesn't even know about that.
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Maybe he thinks like, oh, I just have to take Archie in and... that's it. Like, you know, but it sounds like he's going to do it. And he has the ability to really help this kid and set him up for success in life going forward because he's, he's been dealt tough hands and he doesn't eat most days unless it's school lunch. Like, That's why this is such a fucking tangent.
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We're really trying to put together a list where people can go and support and buy things off your Amazon wishlist and things like that. So please fill that out. But hoping everyone stays as safe as they can. Enjoy the episode, guys. Are we ready, kids?
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But when people are up in arms about giving kids breakfast at school and free lunch, if you have a problem with that, go fuck yourself. Literally go fuck yourself. We pay so much in taxes and our money should go to bettering the youth and the kids and making their lives easy so that they grow up and can have... success. Like, yeah, you're going to be pissed that kids are getting food.
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Keep my money here. Yeah. I'm like, I wish we could pick where money goes. I know. That would be so nice. I'll pay for school lunches. I'll pay for people's health care. Like keep
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our money where we actually fucking want it yeah it's just crazy but this guy like doing Archie's laundry giving him food taking him over the holidays like what an amazing person and I really think this kid's life is gonna be changed for the better yeah
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Arsler, idiot, and will tell me to shut the fuck up and even call me psychotic. He also has made many comments before about my weight, what I eat, suggesting I work out or try a diet. I'm 5'2 and 140 pounds. And then he gets mad at me for being insecure about my body, which I explained to him is because of his comments.
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You would hate yourself, especially if you found out something bad happened to him.
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Yeah, it's definitely doable. My brother's kids, like their house, they're bursting at the seams. Like 825 square feet and one's in kindergarten, one's in second grade, and they're still sharing a room. Yeah, it's doable. It's what families have to do sometimes.
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I'm well aware these are all signs of manipulation, gaslighting, and verbal abuse. On the flip side, I know I sound like an idiot. He really can be sweet. and I am definitely no joy to put up with either, and can be super annoying and also snap at him too. But I do refrain from yelling or name-calling and try to keep it respectful.
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damn but that's reality yeah i mean things you have to consider and at the end of the day too like his son is his biggest priority of course and so making sure he is on board like first and foremost yeah yeah solid points if he's a good kid i would do everything in my power to make that happen i would set up a gofundme if necessary i would try to lean on my friends and family to help
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Your eyes. I'm like, I see your little eyes moving over there. Yeah. I'm just over here.
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Yeah. And I love that people are coming out and being so supportive. Yeah, absolutely.
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Lately, he has noticed me being a lot more distant, and he has amped up his affection and really trying to be nice to me. He cuddles me on the couch, in the bedroom, offers to rub my head, which he never does unless I beg him. I feel really terrible for wanting to end this seven-year relationship based on a recent revelation just over the last week or so.
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It's just like I woke up one day and felt like this is going nowhere and I need to leave now. A part of me feels like maybe I'm just going to snap out of it and be fine again in a week or so, but the other part of me doesn't want to just snap out of it. I feel all of this rage inside of me just stewing, and it has been built up for years.
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That's traumatic. No matter how... I'm coming from my head space and what I went through as a kid. Even when things were so, so bad... You never want to like leave your home even if it's bad. Right. And so I can't imagine his fear and his feelings. It's terrifying. And his first thought is like, when can I see my mom? Like that fucking crushed me.
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So to then be, like, comforted with, like, you can stay here. Like, this is your home. We got you. You're already here so much. Like, a place that he feels safe and comfortable and knows there's a reliable, communicative, safe human looking out for him. Like, I'm just... I'm so...
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Every day on my drive home, I just think of all the mean things he has done to me over the years, and it really just makes me so incredibly furious that I've put up with it. I don't know how I should do this since we both share an apartment together, just renewed the lease for another year, and have an animal together that we're both deeply attached to.
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No, it worked out for the right reasons. And I think this person just seems... amazing and the mom like i understand you know she's worried about her son and she's being a mom yeah especially if she has really high anxiety like he mentioned like he says yeah and i'm just like the a person with like a weaker constitution
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wouldn't have been able to take that berating from their mom and still make this choice. So I'm very, very happy for OP and Archie and Henry. And I'm excited to get an update a couple of months down the line.
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Well, like, I just have a lot of feeling right now. We can't do that because we still have some stories to get through. I am going to message OP and just see if there's anything that they need immediately that would make their lives easier that I can send them or buy on Amazon. Please stay until the end of this episode. There is something I want to get into.
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Although in past discussions, we agreed if anything ever happened, I would take him. I feel horrible for leaving him in such a vulnerable spot. Neither of us really have any friends in the area either.
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I'm not going to do it now, but it is going to be kind of something similar about, like, giving back and it... You want to stick around to the very end to find out what it is. Oh, I have no idea. That being said.
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Really? Justin doesn't know either? No. Wow. So let's get through these next couple stories.
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Moving on to the next one. Another one of this week's partners is Vaya, kicking off 2025. And the year is full of so many possibilities, and really you can make it whatever you want to make it. And Vaya could make it even better. Vaya is the Swiss army knife of wellness, dedicated to harnessing the natural benefits of hemp to create high-quality wellness products.
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So whether you want to improve your sleep, focus, your recovery... or just get a little high. Vaya has something for you. What I've loved about Vaya is they actually have products that have zero milligrams of THC, so you can really choose what you want to get out of it. The THC gummies have been my favorite. I just want to wind down after a stressful day, and those really help.
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And the best part, Vaya is coming from the highest quality hemp, sourced from trusted, independently owned American farms. And they ship to nearly all states in the U.S. in discreet packaging right to your door, with a worry-free guarantee. No medical card required. So if you're 21 plus, check out the link to Viya in our description and use code THT to receive 15% off.
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And if you're new to Viya, get a free gift of your choice. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. This year, enhance your every day with Viya. We're regrouping over here because I have so many tabs. And this is going to be one that we let the coin decide. The coin.
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Yeah. Dun, dun, dun. You know what sound effect I pictured in my head? Did you guys ever watch the show with Regis Philman, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? And when it would get down to a really big question, that sound.
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It's probably copyright protected, so we won't be using it. I would not win. I would not win that show. We'll come up with a sound for the coin. Justin's going to get on that. Okay, so option number one. Whoa, buddy, I ain't ready yet.
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I think that, just read that again. Like, especially the name-calling part. Being called a nasty pig would send me into a rage like no other.
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So option number one, which will be heads. Boyfriend woke me up at 2 a.m. to make him dinner. I made him leave instead. That's nuts. Or overheard boyfriend telling his friend he can never picture himself getting married. Where do I go from here? Do you have feelings?
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It's the first one. However, if you do both agree, you can veto the coin and pick the other.
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I was leaning towards two. But if you guys don't want to veto. It's not on us.
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The coin. The coin. Yeah. Okay. Well, the other one will be on Patreon. Who's it going to? It's going to Miss Lowen.
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This is crazy. What the fuck? I need food now. Shaking me awake. Coconut shrimp. Fresh food. No. No. Do your duties. I would... I would be enraged. I'm surprised she kept it as cool and collected as she did because I would be losing my mind at that. The disrespect. I'm sleeping. No. I, no. Dodged a huge bullet.
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I don't know where he gets off thinking this is acceptable, funny, whatever he's trying to do here. No. I'm glad. Yeah. Off to a fresh relationship.
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play stupid games win stupid prizes this is why you don't play pranks on people but my favorite part is the fact that he like knew like he's just like yeah no that makes sense I understand yeah I mean come on after being ignored for two days he had to go to her work to get her to even acknowledge and talk to him and explain himself like you know it's over at that point yeah but god I mean it's not
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I'm not ready. Yeah. I have been super, super sick. I'm holding it together. But it's the new year and we got to come on strong.
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I'm irrelevant to you in your life, truly. I enjoy spending time with you in the car, at the gym, cleaning your house, making carrot cake or whatever you're doing. But in the grand scheme of things, our opinion... Irrelevant. Yeah. Irrelevant.
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Yeah. Chat it out with us. Tell us what you really think, you know? But, yeah, like, build upon what we're saying. I really like when people do that. They're like... It feels like more of a constructive back and forth combo. But I completely agree with what you're saying. I think our brains are so powerful. The more you engage with something, the more you believe it.
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I know it's not a muscle, but your brain is like a muscle in the sense where... it has neuroplasticity and the more you do something the more it like compounds in your brain and we're constantly doing it from the time we're little but it's like it's called pruning it's like if you don't use it you lose it and the pathways that you do use become stronger yeah
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And so it's like if you're engaging with negative social media again and again, day in, day out, all the time. And it's addicting too. It is.
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It's a dopamine hit. Yeah. It literally is. That's why our attention spans are getting shorter because it's like, New video, new video, new video. And that's something I'm going to be really conscious of this year.
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It's like, I really want to limit my screen time on apps and start picking up more books or listening to audiobooks and engaging with stuff that's bettering me and is not just doom scrolling.
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And you want like life, as we said from the beginning, like life shouldn't be just average. Life should be amazing and fun and magical. And we should have these communities we love and engage with. So we just got to keep being conscious of where we're spending our time, what we're doing, who we're with even. Like look at the story about the girl with the boyfriend.
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She was like, hey, convince me to leave him. But everything she was saying about him was like, he brings down our vacations. He bitches about getting burgers with pickles on it. Like, look at who you surround yourself with and like, do you feel good? Yeah. And people are going to have seasons. You know, you can't expect your friend to be happy and rainbow and sunshine all the time.
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Like that's not life either. That's not friendship. But, you know, overall, do you feel good? Like, are you happy? That's what you really got to look for and consider. But okay, we have one last one. Another one of this week's partners is Rocket Money. How many subscriptions do you think you have that you've forgotten about?
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I myself found out I was paying for the same streaming service twice when I signed up for Rocket Money. And it being the new year, it is the perfect time to stop wasting money, get organized, maybe set some goals. And with Rocket Money, that's going to be a whole lot easier.
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Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Yeah, that's one of my favorite parts. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. So no more calling all those companies and asking for those retention offers. Rocket Money takes care of it.
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I also love how easy it is to see everything on the dashboard like you're spending. I myself found out I eat out way too much and ordering in has also been the downfall of 2024. So cutting back in big ways in 2025. So So if you're ready to prioritize financial wellness this year, give Rocket Money a try. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money.
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Go to rocketmoney.com slash THT today. That's rocketmoney.com slash THT. rocketmoney.com slash THT. Okay, one last one for us here.
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Yeah. I love what you just said. Even if it's average at best, Life shouldn't be average. Life can be so colorful. It can be so magical. It can be beautiful. It shouldn't be average. Are you going to have moments that are average? For sure. Are you going to have times where financially you might not be in the best spot or romantically or whatever, health-wise? Life is life.
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It's very sad. I think the way he's degrading himself is... I mean, I really do believe, like, everyone is beautiful in their own way. I just think, like... Yeah, no, attraction is also different for everyone, too.
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Looking for a man in finance. Yeah. Blue eyes. Trust funds. 6'5". Yeah. Like, he could very easily find his person. There's definitely people out there.
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Of course you do. And that's the problem I have. Like, he is so degrading towards himself. And I truly do think, like I said, like, everyone's beautiful in their own way. Yeah. And a lot of dating is confidence. Yeah. Like, I just saw... Absolutely. Oh, my God. What was it that we... We had like a story for Patreon or something that happened to us recently. And there's something called blebbing.
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We're all going to go through shit. But it shouldn't be average at its best. And if you're with someone who you've been with for seven years and isn't motivated and then... On top of not willing to work on themselves is terrible to you. What are you staying for? And I don't think obligation or any of things like that is a reason to stay.
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Blebbing? Do you remember that? And we Googled what it was. And it's essentially putting like your... I'm so sorry. I'm having this conversation with you guys. You essentially rub your pussy juice on your wrist before going out to the bar.
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And your scent, your pheromones, attract a partner. A girl tried it. She blebbed. I don't remember what it's actually called. I thought it was blebbing. And she goes, hey, it might be a placebo because the blebbing. Oh, the confidence. It's the confidence. She's like, it's the confidence.
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If you go out, if you're confident and you do this and blah, blah, blah, like people are going to find you attractive because confidence is attractive. You're inserting yourself more. You might be more willing to talk to someone and outgoing. Like that's attractive.
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And even like firsthand, like I think about when I used to go out, like if I didn't feel good in my outfit that night, I did kind of hang back in the group of girls and I didn't really talk. But other nights when I felt good about myself and I'd be chatty and confident, like the night did go better.
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And so to hear him be just so, I'm ugly, I'm terrible. I look like that guy from the Goonies. Like, stop. I don't think he said that. You know, aren't you envisioning the guy from the Goonies? No. Have you seen the Goonies? Yeah. I mean, basically he's implying like he is implying he is just. And I'm like, stop, like literally stop. You're fine. You're making it so much worse. Yeah.
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Like, just act like... It's a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point. Yeah. If he walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, like, if you see no value in yourself...
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yeah like looks are not everything yeah some people are not even attracted to looks it's personality for them 100 so if you're just like i'm not worthy of love i'm not worthy of anyone i'm so terrible like then how are you gonna find someone yeah then you're exactly self-fulfilling prophecy believe in yourself quit degrading yourself quit selling yourself short yeah Does he have updates?
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You can break up and you can figure out your housing situation. The world keeps spinning. Life will move on. You've already talked about you take the cat or the pet or whatever it was like you're going to be good. Yeah. Pull the ripcord and jump, baby.
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Yeah. That is such a good point. Mm-hmm. And at the end of the day, if his friends aren't going to respect his boundary of like, hey, please don't set me up anymore, the reality is then those aren't your friends. Even as well-intentioned as they might be, they're not respecting your boundary. And you might have to take a step back from engaging with those people for a while.
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Is this the first episode of 2025? First episode of 2025. Scary. That's too much pressure. Well, and it's like I'm sick.
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Yeah. Top comment on this. I'm having a really hard time seeing what you're getting out of this relationship other than comfort from the familiar. Being together so long, not knowing many people in your area. Is that accurate or am I missing something? And OP replies, I think that is pretty much spot on. When you put it like that, I'm really not getting much out of the relationship.
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I just like... I love that. I think sometimes in life, it fully takes someone to lift you out of the darkness or it takes loving someone new to heal a broken heart. I do think that's the case, but... I think a lot of us out there also can be our own biggest heroes and you are enough. You do deserve the world.
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You can give yourself enough to live for because you're so beautiful and deserve everything good, but
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Yeah. They saw how amazing he was and how great he is and how, like, he's... they probably see him as beautiful like you know what i mean where it's like you don't see yourself the way i see you like if if you could only see yourself through my eyes you would realize how amazing and beautiful you are and it's like stop like just get out of your own way yeah and so that's tough i'm so fucking happy
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Also, I became pretty close with a lot of people at my company. So I think having that sort of support system, even though they have no idea what's happening, at least at work, is also kind of pushing me to get out, if that makes sense.
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i'm i'm really like blown away by this one it's so much beauty like so many tears good tears it's just awesome i know and like i was on boru all day today so a lot of these like i would read the initial post make sure it was good and then like that last one did not read any of the updates because like i'm like i want to be in this too and on this journey with you all yeah
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Um, but I, I really want us all to like take something from this. And if you have something to share, I'd love to see it in the comments too. And I just, this just came to me, but like, I think you make a great point where you're like, there's so many things in life that you like, you wish you could learn sooner.
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This is what's coming to mind based on that, like looking at seniors and they don't really give a shit what people think about them and they just are living life happily, whatever. If there is a life lesson that you wish you could go back and tell your younger self to save some heartache or time or whatever... put it in the comments.
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If there is a life lesson that you've learned that you can share with us, let us know what it is. Because I think that would be really amazing to have a community come together and we compile it all. And it's like, if I was 18 listening to this podcast and saw like, damn, this 30-year-old person did this and oh, I'm going to save myself the time. And
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Obviously, there's a lot of lessons most of us have to learn the hard way. But I just think it would be really great to see. But that being said, the fun part of the episode. Oh, yeah. I already forgot. Yeah. So back in December, I talked about wanting to do like an angel tree type situation. And I had a lot of people reach out and recommended...
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And it came from multiple people and different people. So I was like, okay, they're probably on to something. But a lot of people recommended not doing it in December because there are so many organizations out there and community initiatives that are about crushing people's Christmas lists and making sure everyone has holiday meals and this and that. And so...
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the start of the year is actually a lot harder for people because the holidays have happened and those resources are no longer there or maybe a resource they thought they were going to have like an angel tree didn't get completed or it did, but they realized they need this. So based on talking to some of you in the community, We are going to do it this January and February.
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So in the description for this episode, you will find a link to a Google form and it is for you to go and submit a link for your Amazon wishlist and write a little blurb about yourself, your family, or someone you're kind of nominating that might need a little extra help at the start of the year. But it's just meant to be like, hey, this is a good year. I want to set you guys up on a good path.
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And there's so many of us out there that might have an abundance right now. And so I think it would just be a great way to bring the community together and highlight maybe some that need a little more. So go to the link in the description of this show and fill that out. Tuha Takes is going to be knocking out quite a few of those lists.
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I also want to let you guys know that last year we donated over $6,000 to Hurricane Relief in Florida. And that was all from you guys and you buying merch at our Florida shows. So, you know, we're out here doing things and there's a lot behind the scenes that you don't see with, you know, GoFundMes and things like that that we support people on. But
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We just want to make sure our community is being uplifted and really taken care of because it's the start of the new year and life is hard. And what is life for if it's not for a sense of community and surrounding yourself with good people and raising up people that might need it? I think a lot of our stories today were that too. So
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yeah I'm very excited for this year and all that's to come and yeah any other thoughts like any intention for the year you want to set now you guys I don't know I'm like let me stop talking please help me
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Well, and also I think a good point too is like if you start a resolution, like it doesn't mean you have to really stick to it all year. Like try for a couple months. Like if you accomplish anything for more than two weeks, I'm impressed. Like, just try something new this year, a new hobby, new something, a new habit that's good for you. Like, it doesn't have to be this big, crazy thing.
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I mean, not everyone, but... Some people have that mental stamina and physical stamina to be able to do that. I don't even know if that's healthy to lose that much in that amount of time, though.
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Yeah. Like do what you can to make your life better and what you want to see for yourself. I think like bite size attainable. Yeah. I saw so many people. They're like, I'm doing 75 hard. And I'm like.
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Yeah. I love you. I love you. Well, our main camera has died. So everyone needs to look at their own. Hi. Hi. But thank you guys so much for being here and kicking off another year of Two Hot Takes with us. We love you all. And until next time. Until next time.
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Oh, God. It could be if I died. I don't know what would happen. Well, maybe I'd will it to you guys. We'll see. But I'm like, okay. Got to hit this year right from the jump. And I'm really excited about this episode. I've been working on it for a little bit. But because I am so sick, I had to call in the troops today. And so first episode of 2025 is going to be a little different than usual.
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We have an update. Oh, I didn't know if you were going to give us an update on this one. Okay, let's do it. I just want to say I'm so blown away by the support from everyone. I started reading these comments at work and I had to stop because I was crying. I'm going to take a few days to figure out what I need, get things sorted, and then break the news to him.
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My job pays pretty well, so I'd be able to afford the apartment on my own. We have a spare bedroom he can stay in while he's figuring out where he's going to live. Everyone is so right that I need to learn how to live and do things on my own. I feel like I have a new boost of confidence now, and I know exactly what I need to do.
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I've been feeling this way for a very long time, and I've just been repressing it. It's only now that my brain is putting its foot down and saying, okay, enough is enough. You gotta go. I did it. The whole time, it was a lot of deflecting, blaming, accusing, and defending. Not once did he seem genuinely sorry for pushing me to this point or any of the things he has done before.
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He'd rather accuse me of cheating on him than be in the wrong for this. Sounds like it matches the rest of him.
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Update three. Three days after the initial post. Mm-hmm. I was planning on any things this weekend, but we had another little argument while I was at work. It was basically about me being so distant. I told him that it's been weighing on me lately, all the names he's called me in the past and all of the mean stuff he's done to me. He literally said, quote, if you can't get over it, then leave me.
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Okay. So I said, quote, Okay. Okay. And then I guess he didn't realize the okay meant like, yeah, we should break up. So he was like, quote, so what do you want? And I said, quote, we should break up. I've never threatened to break up with him, but he's always threatened to break up with me over small stuff. So I don't think he really took me seriously.
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I left work early and continued to talk to him about it and said he could stay here until he found a place and that obviously I'm keeping our pet because I'm the one who had him and kept him before we even moved in together. He kept blaming and deflecting the whole time and it all kind of confirmed to me exactly why I'm breaking up with him. He even accused me of cheating.
Two Hot Takes
198: New Beginnings..
He ended up leaving to go to his mom's house and then came back an hour later and then actually apologized and broke down. The whole time, even while apologizing, he's still shifting blame. He said, quote, you want someone perfect, but nobody is perfect. If I wanted perfect, I would have left you a long time ago. Take the power back. Which, ouch, laughing my ass off.
Two Hot Takes
198: New Beginnings..
But he saw that as some type of compliment, apparently. He offered couples counseling. He begged for another chance. He said he had no idea how hurt I was. He didn't think I was serious before. He said if he would have known I was going to break up with him over it, he would have done it to begin with. Done what to begin with? Break up with her.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
That's the end? That's the post. Just, okay. All right. Well, she's obviously gone a bit crazy. She...
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Because I'm going to remain thinking that it literally, she is so... I don't know. I don't even know what you call it. She's so in that world that... Because I don't think... She's obviously, I hope, not making advances on her kid. I think she literally is that lost in it where she is thinking, oh, I know how I could get some numbers. I'll just have Johnny send it to all his friends. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
To where it's like, oh, this is cool. But I... Oh, God. There's so much to go through.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
It's not my mom, by the way. It's not my mom, by the way.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
I don't think she intends them to be blurred. I think she would walk around every single day naked if she could. In every circumstance. Grocery store, post office, all of it. She's there nude if she could be. She should go live in one of those nude communities. Like a nude resort, but like a whole town. Does that exist? Is there a nude town? Like you go buy your eggs in the morning?
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
No, I'm not. I'm not even thinking that. I'm trying to not think about that. I'm trying to not mentally even get close to that.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Listen, the headline for this story could be a lot more clickbaity and it's not even clickbaity. If you said, my husband's mom sent him nude photos and asked to, like, you could make this title.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Yeah, it's very mild. I thought what was happening was mother-in-law to OP, the wife, mother-in-law was sending her a link saying, hey, can you subscribe so I can get my subscribers up? Which in itself, yes, would be still weird. But it's not as bad as sending your son... The link, the images, and just going that far.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
She brought it to the family. So now I'm going to give my reasons why. Because I'm not going to have the family be turned on me.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
We're going to, because we didn't take it to the family. She did. Yeah. She could have kept it between us. I get she's blocked. But there's other avenues than having the whole family become this army. But no, yeah, I'm going to fully say we are not communicating with her and not interacting with her at this time because of this.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
And I think everyone will get it real quickly unless it's a whole family of sex toy nudists.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
But I think they'll get it real quick. And yeah, she'll be like upset that you told everyone. Or maybe she won't.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
That's true. That is true. I mean, if it really truly is like she gets off on this super taboo behavior, then that takes it into a whole different thing. I mean, the first... I mean, that's got like... It's bad without that. But when you add that, then it's just we're... Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
You know what's so scary about it is how could you ever... really truly know if that was the intention because you know how the whole story is written and everything's kind of excused off like oh she's just super overly open about all that and just I don't know, the term nudist keeps coming to mind. But if that is the underlying of all of it, then it's just so fucked.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Yes. No, you have the proof. I'm just saying, like, you know how I kind of initially said, oh, like, I really hope it's not as an intention to, like, make moves on her kid.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
And it's just her being so lost in that world that she's just sending it really truly hoping for other followers.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
But if that is, you'll never know which it is. And so now it sucks because you kind of have to take, you have to assume that that is what it is.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Well, regardless if you're assuming or if that is truly what it is, I don't think you'll ever know that from her. So you have to assume and it takes you to where you have to take this drastic measure of really not having a relationship with your mom anymore on any level. So just like this is this just kind of changes your whole world. Yeah, it's crazy. It's absolutely crazy.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
It's like that TikTok from a while ago where the kid was holding like the dildo toy in the store. Do you remember this?
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
The image I had in my mind is this, like she babysits the kids and the kids are just playing with the glitter foot long dildo. Obviously the kids don't know what it is, but it's like,
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
It's you see what I'm saying, right? Like, yeah, the kids just think it's a toy. But that's that's kind of what the future looks like with this.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Honestly, I think the legal action makes a lot of sense because having the conversation isn't going to do anything. There's no conversation with her that can be had that will have any sort of effect, especially when in the past... He tried to explain how it's wrong and makes him uncomfortable. And she then flips it and is like, oh, you're shaming me, all this shit.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Like, people that do that cannot be reasoned with. And there's no conversation you guys can have that will make anything change. No. So, honestly...
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Of course. But I think the legal action is the only thing that could possibly have any sort of effect on the relationship you guys have with her.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
If that's ever even wanted, I think that's the only thing they'll ever get through. But just simply having even the most intense conversation with her possible, I don't think will be effective. It's too far gone. With all this background info, I literally don't see, I don't even know what words you'd say.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
It's always so weird to me that this stuff is happening in real time.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Like they are having this happen right now. Literally right now.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Unreal. I don't think we should refer to it as her openness anymore. It's obviously much, much more complex than openness.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
That's what, like, when I was talking about the middle school, high school thing. It's the trauma from those people. If people had never said anything or made fun of you or made you feel bad about it, it wouldn't be traumatic at all because it's just you. That's where it comes from. And that's what this family is doing now.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
I have so much information from Reddit now that when I'm talking to friends about issues going on in their life, I'm like, well, this one lady, 27 female.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
I just have people, friends, close friends of mine that'll say, oh, you're doing the podcast thing. When they bring up issues to me, I'm like, well… Did you talk to blah, blah, blah? Did they see it this way? Because maybe they're thinking about it like this. He's like, oh, you're doing what you do on the show. I'm like, well, yeah.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Veggie cheese? Like, what did you expect to get? He thought it was veggies. Well, I'm also wondering, because you're right, it is really odd. Like, do we think maybe there's, like, a learning issue or a reading issue? And maybe too embarrassed to say it? Because it does seem... Very interesting.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
I don't take risks like that. Anywhere I go, if I don't understand something that's on the menu, I'm looking that word up. Or if it's something I'm used to, as simple as like a chicken sandwich. And the sauce has a weird name and there's something in, you know, some word in there. I'll look it up. I don't take a chance.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
As compared to some members of Morgan's family, we have found out.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
So it depends, right? It depends who you're comparing to. Compared to you, I'm probably very picky. But I don't take chances. But also, I just think... This makes me feel like I'm very easygoing because I'll order stuff. It's kind of not what I expected. I'm just like, I'm eating it. I'm good. I don't know. It's just a non-issue in my world.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
And obviously if something's really bad, right, we've all had those experiences. That's a different story.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
This is like, no, it's perfectly prepared the way it's supposed to be. And you're just an idiot. And now you're making a scene. I could not put up with this long term.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Again, a pattern. There's a pattern of this happening. You've brought it up or that's kind of part of this conversation. If you do it, nothing changes. I'm out.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
There you go. I liked that. I think this cut your losses. Yeah. You know what's kind of crazy? I don't know what a macchiato is either.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
I wouldn't do this. But I would look and see what was in it. But I've never ordered a macchiato, so I actually don't even know what it entails.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
And then you're just upset and angry. I'm picturing you like before a live show like, oh, it's coffee.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
No, definitely not. But no, I feel like I've only ever ordered coffee, latte or cappuccino.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
What? Oh, my God. We're off the rails. Why are you coming for me right now? We're going back in.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Definitely not. Where are you getting this? said stained or marked but why me why not you why not jerry like why why are you in control of my my rear end and i'm not i don't know what's happened here i don't know there's a port-a-potty story you guys are i don't even know what's going on i think did you have a gummy
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
She keeps on reading the menu to him or are they going separate ways?
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
I mean, I think there's an issue if you're having a tantrum past the age of Eight? Ten?
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
I'm talking like a tantrum, okay? Not like an adult just being angry and whatever. I'm talking like little kid screaming just ridiculous tantrums.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
You can't just drop bombs like that. You guys, my pants are completely clean. I feel like I need to show them my pants.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Well, there's probably, you know, there's jail time included with that. But there are other ways to speed this thing up, if that's really what your motive is.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Which is pretty freaking wild. Morgan used to make me come over to her house during COVID and just like do a bunch of like tricks. Like I felt like a pony. Actually, you made me be a pony one time for TikTok. She's like, let's make something out of this media world. And I'm like, we're too old. We were jumping over rolls of toilet paper trying to make it.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
I would be so betrayed. I... Oh, my God. I'm betrayed for her. I'm pissed. This is unacceptable. And and to the point to the multiple lies, it's not just kind of like, oh, like I'm stuck in traffic. Like it's like like, oh, now I have to do like just all of those lies to in a row is not that's that makes me think what else you lie about just casually all the time. What? Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
There is no can't make it there. At some point, there's nothing more important. And work is the most ridiculous excuse. I don't care what you're in. You're in the meeting with the CEO to who cares? It becomes like all of that's irrelevant. Irrelevant. Irrelevant.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
And who's going to fault you? Hey, I have to run home and take my wife, right? Wife in because she's having this crazy serious health thing.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Who's going to be like, oh, you didn't finish that report yesterday. We lost the client. Like-
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
And when your partner who you trust is telling you that they're about to be there, then why would you call an ambulance? You are supposed to trust them that they're telling the truth.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
I always bothers me when people like don't believe people when they're not feeling well like if they're telling you that they're not well believe them like stop being like oh they're dramatic like no believe them that's all I got to say Justin I feel like you had something
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
I mean, there are certain situations in life and we know the people that are kind of the cry wolf people.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
It's very different, but I'm just trying to see all sides where someone could like him at his level that he's at right now, the low level could make some argument. Well, you always say you feel crappy and you always do this, but it's like,
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
And if this isn't just the ultimate proof that you are just the biggest loser and not capable and not deservant of this person, like, I don't know what else there could be.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
If it's not, it should be. It sounds pretty cool. It reminds me of something that would be said in Game of Thrones. Anyway, sorry. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Yeah, I mean, this is just the worst. I don't know. I have no more words for it.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
I would have such a hard time with this one. Like, I know that they're married with a brand new kid. And so I don't want to like quickly be like divorce. But I just genuinely knowing myself, like it would be so hard for me to like move past this. And we would have to go to therapy over it.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Like he would need to have like to admit and understand what he did wrong fully before I could even consider moving past it.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
It's another one that comes down to character. This doesn't feel like, oh, it's just a mistake. This feels like, no, this is who you are. It's hard for me to separate those two because this can't be the first time that this lack of caring has shown. There's no way. And this might be the most extreme.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
life or death but it'd be weird if everything was all perfect and he was the best partner and then something happens to you and he's just totally like whatever that was cool uh are you stable now because i'm gonna head back to the office
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
No, it's not. You have a one-year-old... And if you're extremely sick, your partner needs to step up. Like, there's, even if she was like, I have the flu, like, well, if you have the flu, there's a one-year-old that needs to be taken care of, so come the fuck home.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Okay, let me tell you something about being 28. I think you've been around long enough to know the difference between, oh, I'm coming down with the cold or the flu versus no. I've never felt like this before and this is something serious. I think we all would be able to determine that Even though there's outliers, yes, where it's like it starts like that and then it gets really crazy.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
But she knew from the start and she made it apparent from the start. I need you here. When your partner says, I need you here, you go. Because if they think it's not necessary, they're not going to have you leave work if it's a big situation like, oh, if I leave work, it's going to whatever. If they know that that's a big deal, they're not going to say, I need you here if it's not serious.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Yeah, the superhero S. Yeah. Oh, so good, Lauren. I was never really good at drawing that.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Absolutely. I mean, like, the way that she just brushes over the fact that he was cheating.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
I downloaded it for a friend. A friend wanted to swipe on my phone.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
That's I mean, that's what usually people say. Some stupid shit.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Yeah. My boyfriend literally his mom went to the hospital and thought it was serious and he was on the other side of the country and literally got like left work early and got on a flight and went straight there.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
His mom is saying for him that, no, he's marrying you, all of you for you. When that directly contradicts everything. So with that in mind, this is some could say, oh, well, it's just he doesn't like one little whatever part of you, whatever. But really, this is a character thing.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
This isn't just, oh, he made a bad comment and it's a pattern of bad comments, which, you know, I always like to react to a pattern and not a one-time whatever. And, you know, it makes it feel like this is a overall him red flag.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Where he can't get over the scar and he's going to keep bringing it up and then drop the bomb. probably of the worst comment he's made, or at least what it appears to be.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Yeah, it is. It is a good question. Like, where does that even come from? Is it just because he thinks it's normal or funny to say stuff like that? Is he trying to get something like a reaction? Is he trying to
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
make her feel small and that she's like that she gets the prize by winning him like what is the motive is he hoping that oh well if i keep making comments and now man now that i'm really committing forever maybe i can convince her to i don't know like there's there's no changing i like i don't think that that would be it because i feel he would instead say something like
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
oh, if that bothers you, I'll help chip in for removal. But then again, I don't know. People are stupid. And also, that would be wrong for him to say, too. But it's just, I don't know, guys. I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
And if there's something, because also it's not a perfect world where you do love every single aspect of the person you're with. We're not perfect. Nobody ever in history or in the future is ever going to fit together like a perfect puzzle piece. No. It's about loving someone for who they are.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
overall because you're not going to love we all have flaws exactly and so if there is a flaw you learn to love that flaw or you just don't bring it up and you don't keep making it a thing and if it's really that big of a deal for you then why like what are we doing anyway
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Because someone else is going to love this person as 10 times more.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Imagine if she did that right before the wedding. She's like, I'm marrying you and not your non farting ness.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Well, that would be kind of funny. I know. It's less serious. I know it is. But no, I mean, I like a lot of you guys know this. I've talked about it before, but I have a birthmark on my head and it makes like half of my hair color a different color. And I'm not insecure about it, but I don't know. Sometimes I just I want to not show it because I maybe I'm a little insecure about it. I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
It's just I guess I don't. I don't like people to think that I diet because it makes me seem way edgier than I am. So maybe that's where the insecure part is. I feel like I want to wear a sign that says, no, this is just a birthmark, but whatever it is, there's some feelings there. And, um, If my fiance were to say that to me about my birthmark, yes, I can diet.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
But knowing that he thinks that my birthmark looks bad or negative and he doesn't love me for the uniqueness or the random parts of me, that would hurt so much that I don't know that I would be interested in that relationship. Mm-hmm. Completely agree.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Well said. Because we all know from elementary school, middle school, high school, I bet we can all remember those comments, remember exactly where they happened, when they happened, and they still cross into our minds to this day.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
It's that or, you know, it's any other feature or anything like this scar. I mean, she's obviously well aware of it. She's hopefully made peace with it and is just living her life until you come around and be like, Oh, but that scar.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
And you have to constantly point it out and that whether it's trauma from the past or trauma literally created from you not getting over the scar, you keep digging that knife in every single time.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Oh, and then let's not forget, too, you don't want that mother-in-law in your life. No, thanks.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
I mean, it's the classic. Was anyone surprised when that part came up? I mean, it's the classic support your son. I mean, I think we've seen it on both sides where they fiercely defend and enable.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
I'm an enemy. I'm an enemy. But yeah, you're enabling and you're just defending your child.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
And trying to hold it together probably for their sake because it doesn't seem like she and OP have the strongest relationship because I think in that sense, it would be more of... Like, yeah, that was almost taking her side, making her feel better instead of just fully focusing on her son and the marriage. Oh, you're going to walk away just for this? You're going to give up your whole marriage?
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Well, right. And it's not oftentimes, it's not whatever physical attribute or thing about you that is the traumatizing thing. It's the way people treat you over it.
Watch What Crappens
#2710 RHOSLC S5E18: Let’s Talk About the Huzzzbands
Hey, Meredith, Meredith, Meredith. I need a hero. I need a lady who comes in with a robe.
Watch What Crappens
#2710 RHOSLC S5E18: Let’s Talk About the Huzzzbands
Yeah. I'm sorry for bringing you into that, John. I know based on this last year, the meanest thing that I've done to Lisa is talk about your marriage. And I wanted to burn that with you. I apologize. And the thing that I regret most about our friendship is, um, lying.