Welcome back to Father Knows Something! Real People. Real Stories. Real Dad advice with a dash of ADHD, and maybe a couple of millennials chiming in from time to time to add their takes. This weeks episode has dad, Justin, and Morgan looking at write-ins that revolve around weddings. It's that season and with Morgan and Justin getting married this fall it feels we really jump into this theme a lot this year. From getting engaged to getting anxious cold feet a month before the wedding, this episode has all sorts of problems we're going to need your thoughts on! Submit your write-in ! https://forms.gle/8G2e4ockyZLNoiuX7Bonus Stories on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fatherknows !!Our P.O. Box: Father Knows Something. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA. 90036Follow up on Instagram @ Father Knows SomethingUPDATE US!! If your story has been read respond here: https://forms.gle/6CP9KoWvJ4NMKewa7Video version available on YouTube: YouTube.com/fatherknowssomething Be sure to subscribe and tell us what you would give for advice! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the theme of this week's episode?
Hi, everybody, and welcome to this week's episode of Father Knows Something. And we have, not only do we have Morgan and Justin, but we got a present while we were gone. So Audrey, we want to reach out to you and thank you for the wonderful caricatures that you did.
They're so good.
And I have to tell you guys, the note that she wrote me was very touching. I was very excited about it. Audrey is actually a caricaturist.
I know. I'm like, wait, can you come and draw a guest at our wedding? It's so good. It's so, so good. Is she magnificent? Like a little horse, too? Are you kidding me? Justin in his space suit?
So I actually wrote her back or talked to her. Did you? I did. I was so thankful that I said that. When I come back to Alexandra... Alexandria, Virginia, which I go about once or twice a year, that I would love for her to come down and I'd like to buy her lunch and meet me.
It's so good. It's so just amazing. Well, you'll have to arrange that. I'm definitely. You might see her sooner if I say, hey, can you come draw guests at our wedding?
Well, I'll race you.
We'll see who wins.
We'll see who wins the race. Look at that pilot jacket, Jerry. Do you have one like that? I did. You should get one for sure. I did have one. I don't have it anymore. That's a good look for you. Yeah, it is. With the scarf too.
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Chapter 2: How to handle wedding stress?
But lately, I feel like I'm the only one putting in effort to mend our relationship, and instead of meeting me halfway, she's built up a brick wall. Every interaction with her feels like walking on eggshells, never knowing if she's going to be distant, passive-aggressive, or just outright cold.
She's also made a lot of hurtful comments over the years that make it hard to gauge where I stand with her. When I asked her if I was invited to go dress shopping with her, she shot back, Another time, when I tried relating to something she was going through, she dismissed me with, It's like she goes out of her way to make me feel like an outsider.
After all of that, I've still tried to keep things civil. But what happened this week really crushed me. My mom, my youngest sister Montana, 19 female, Jill, and her fiance Hunter, 26 male, all went to a hockey game together, something we've done as a family for years.
Jill was actually nice for once, which was a huge shift from how she's been acting lately, so I was cautiously hopeful that maybe things were improving. Me, my mom, my youngest sister, Montana, 19 female, Jill, and Jill's fiance, Hunter, 26 male, all went to a hockey game together, something we've done as a family for years.
Jill was actually nice for once, which was a huge shift from how she's been acting lately, so I was cautiously hopeful that maybe things were improving. But after the game, as we were heading home, the topic of Jill and Hunter's wedding came up. They've been engaged for a year, together for five, and from the start, they've planned a destination wedding.
Given how weird things have been between us, I had a feeling that I might be left out, but I never expected what I learned next. Right there, I found out that Jill had already given out the first round of wedding invitations. To my mom, my dad, and Montana. Everyone except me. And apparently, this happened weeks ago. I was completely blindsided. I kept asking for details, but everyone ignored me.
It was like I wasn't even there. I shut down, ready to leave, when Jill suddenly pulled me aside, forced a hug on me, she hates physical touch, and said something like, quote, I know our childhood was rough, but things are getting better. I love you. It felt so fake, like she just wanted to look like the bigger person in front of our family.
Meanwhile, not one person stood up for me or even acknowledged how hurtful this was. I've since talked to my therapist about it, and I told Jill I need space for now, but I don't know what to do moving forward. The wedding isn't until October 2026 in Scotland, and they've mentioned a possible reception back home since neither set of parents will be attending the elopement.
So now I'm stuck wondering, how do I move forward from this? How do I maintain a relationship with my family while keeping distance from Jill? How do I avoid making my family feel like they have to pick sides? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Chapter 3: Should I invite estranged family members to my wedding?
What is up? Like, are we not supposed to, maybe we should never have invented mirrors.
I don't know. And then also, this is really interesting. And by the way, this is where I'm going to go with this. I don't like the way I sound. I hear myself.
But how you sound isn't actually how you sound because of the difference in the way that your voice reverberates in your ears.
Well... It's the bones vibrating.
It's the bones.
It's the bones. What's really interesting is that people say, we love your voice. And I hear it and go... I feel the same way.
Editing is brutal.
The best thing is, is that we are our worst critics. people out there who love us, who are going to be at our wedding, who are going to be in our lives. They love us the way we are. We don't have to worry about it. So get your confidence of just being, this is who I am and that's it. And I'm okay with who I am because look who you are. You found a person that loves you.
You're giving love back to people. You're sharing, you're doing all the wonderful things that make us a good person. And what we look like, that's just nothing but skin and bones. It's a shell. It's not really who we are in our essence. And that goes to shine because anybody that I've known in my life, and when I find their essence, we lose what they look like.
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